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nitannichionne · 2 years

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If He Was Your Fan (A Henry Cavill Fanfic), Chapter 72: Tarnish (Henry POV)

Shit.

Fuck.

Shit.

I suddenly can’t find her, and I realize where I have to go. Trent.

This is what I get for listening to my manager. She suggested that I meet with Lara Winters regarding my Warhammer dreams. I’d actually played with her online, but I didn’t know she was DecheLaran. Blending the names of a heroic and an evil Warhammer character with her own fascinated me. And when my manager gave me a chance to meet her?

I should have told her! I should have told her!

But did I have to meet for tea?

It is sociable, I told myself. But as our conversation evolved, it felt like blind date. And I didn’t mention my romantic life at all. Lara didn’t either, but she kept suggesting we meet again since we had similar interests, especially in gaming.

Did I have to put us in a quiet corner? Did I? Why?

And I knew deep down when my love caught Lara and me. She smiled even though I saw a sad shine in her eyes. And when she returned to her table and resumed her day with her friends, my heart sank. She was composed and of grace, making me feel so far from my line that I lost my appetite. I heard her laugh, and it stood out, like mine must have stood.

What am I doing and why?

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I tell her.

“I know they are steering from the Witcher books even more, but—”

“I just can’t.”

She sighs. “I know.”

“You understand?”

“Of course, I do,” she puts her arms around me. “I’m a writer. I would be very upset if someone did that to something I’d written, especially if many people had read it and liked it. You are a reader, a lover of stories, so you would take it equally as badly. The only reason they are doing it is because the author is not there to fight for his story.”

I hug her. “Thank you.”

I was getting asked by those of my station what I was thinking. Because she lived in Brixton, everyone thought she and I were over, though no statement had been made, and I forbade my personal life to be a subject of discussion in interviews. In Cov-Id no one really knew or cared, everyone assumed, and they all probably thought she—no, we--wouldn’t have made it so long.

When I met with the Dwayne, I saw his look of WTF? when he saw her. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I gave a small smile. She busied herself playing with his children who loved her energy, and made nice with his wife. When we sat for lunch, she was a little quieter than usual, and I spotted her glancing around the table. I put my arm around her, and she smiled gratefully. Dwayne’s eyebrow quirked, and his wife put her hand on his, offering a gentle smile.

And then after being crushed by the media and my fans, I was upset, and I wasn’t sure what to do as she looked saddened. I didn’t know if I should comfort her or if I should tell her to buck up, because this is how it really is, she had to know. They researched her-her humble beginnings, downplayed her triumphs that I knew of personally, which is impressive when she essentially was classified a commoner, and an American one at that. My mother supported my choice, liked her. My brothers only asked if I was happy, and their wives the same. She loved children, so my nephews and nieces liked her, too, though admittedly were intrigued by the difference of her features. My niece asked if she could touch her hair, and I thought I’d die, but she simply bowed her head and let her, and then asked her to open her eyes wide so she could see how blue they were. “You and I are earth and sky. Your eyes are like the sky, mine are like the trees, but we’re still in the same world.”

Talks were going on in every facet of my life and now, now, the one talk I didn’t have to have, I may have to have. I wasn’t even sure I had to have it, but now my half truth got me in trouble. It did not look like a business luncheon, and I knew it. I was attracted to Lara, but was I willing to give up someone who truly loved me for a possibility? I’d done it before.

But then I remember when I kissed that model, or she kissed me, or however it went. And the hurt in her eyes…I close my eyes against the memory.

“You must try and do better than that, Henry, please?” she sniffed in the shower that day.

I will do better, I told her silently. I will either be worthy to stay or I will leave, and I cannot. I took a deep breath and exhaled, shaking slightly. “Alright.”

So vulnerable…

“Henry?” She looks surprised to see me. “What are you doing here?”

“I have been looking for you.”

“You could have called.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Hmmm.” She moves toward the stables, and I follow. It is just us and the horses.

I exhale heavily, and when we get in front of Luc’s stall, she turns to me.

“Level with me, Henry.” Her eyes are already glassy with tears. “Level with me?”

I say nothing.

She bites her lip and literally snorts as she gets the blanket and saddle. “That was your business luncheon?”

“Yes—” I am pushed back as I try to help, but she pushes me back with her body, and then resumes her task.

“You seem like…old friends.” She hurls the saddle over, and begins dealing with buckles and clasps, patting Luc reassuring for every one. Luc looks at me, and I sigh. Even the horse knows something is wrong.

“I play with her on Warhammer, but I didn’t realize it was her.”

“Ah, a shared interest…or passion?” She checks the bit and lead.

Those last two words held hurt and accusation. I didn’t know what to say to that.

“My manager suggested—”

“Ah.”

I exhale heavily.

“She is a fine match for you, Henry,” she says softly. “The timing of this is impeccable for anyone who has expectations.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Expectations?”

“Let’s face it, the websites and such do not exactly approve of me,” she said with a tilt of her chin. “Do you like her?” She was starting to twist the ring I gave her as if she was going to remove it.

I step back reflexively. “She’s an interesting person.”

She stops twisting the ring and folds her hands. “Like I was?”

“No, different.”

“Different?” Her voice is thick with emotion as she clenches her hand over the other.

“I—”

She reaches into her pocket and hands me the key to my flat. “You don’t know what you want, who you want.”

“I—”

“I love you,” she says in a whisper, a stray tear falling. “but I will not compete for you. Fighting to stay together is one thing, but fighting to keep you, I won’t do.”

I whisper her name. “Please, don’t—”

“I will keep wearing the ring,” she nods. “the press has seen it, and I will not indicate your indecision or indiscretion or whatever it is.”

I flinch. That was a literal slap in the face, but I deserve it. I should end it, I think, but the idea of her leaving didn’t sit right and I wish I knew why. Was it guilt? Was it regret? Was it love? Either way, she was being aloof and for once, I cannot read her.

She sniffs, but maintains composure. “I would appreciate if we could still go to the party, and we can decide about the holidays then.”

“I am leaving—”

“For the press junket, I know,” she smiles sadly, licks her lips. “Is she going with you?”

“No!” I couldn’t believe she asked that.

“Good,” she nods. “Gives us time and space alone to think.” She kisses my cheek, and says hoarsely, “Safe travels.”

“We’re not done—”

“Oh, yes, we are,” She swings up on Luc. “For now.”

��Damn it!” I scramble to my horse at Trent, put on the bit and swing up.

“Mr. Cavill—” John sees me leading her out. “your saddle?”

“No time!”

“Sir--!”

She is lightning on that beast!

I swing up on mine and chase her, but she is just a sack of potatoes on Luc, and when she leans into him, she looks even smaller. They ‘re on the trail in a flash.

“Yah!” I take off, but she is just too fast, and with the wind at her back, she doesn’t look real. I slow, realizing I can’t catch her.

“Go home, Henry!” She throws over her shoulder. “go home.”

“Hey!” Finn runs out, seeing her speed, and looks at me. “What happened?”

I trot my horse in, shaking my head, and dismount near the stables.

“Hold on,” Finn swings me around. “What did you do?”

We lock eyes and I realize he’s ready to fight. “Stay out of it, Finn. I mean it. Stay out of it.”

“I’ll take the horse, sir,” John rushes over and takes the lead. His look is one of anger, but not enough to be disrespectful.

“You can’t tell me what to do, Cavill,” Finn growls. “If you hurt her, you will be squaring with me.”

I nod, and see her in the distance. She looks so alone all of a sudden as she trots on the path, disappearing among the trees.

I don’t know how long I stood there. Honestly, I never felt so alone.

@mistress-of-ward @nuggsmum @messyinsomniacbookgirl @jencanbeyouryengeralt @sweetdreamsofgelato @mary-ann84 @omgkatinka @the-soot-sprite @viking-raider @keanureevesisbae @henryobsessed @summersong69 @kinbhot4henners @sunshine96love @michelehansel @radofrivia @thelastsock @defffcc @tenaciousneckpartypainter @rn7rocksn @mrskikirazz @daydreamin83 @ruthoakenshield @musicartmayheminmyheart @michelehansel @tumblnewby @defffcc @tenaciousneckpartypainter @rn7rocksn @daydreamin83 @ruthoakenshield @forallthebrokenheartedthings @alphacancrii @liquorlaughslove @designerewriterchic @sofiebstar @tamychm @nikkilynn303 @circesgirl @aaescritora @xoxohannahlee @pixie88 @fckdeusername@maan24@rn7rocks @kaatelyyynn @october505 @absentmindedreader @introvertedmouse

#henry cavill #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanficiton #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x you

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neon-in-the-night-time · 4 months

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oh god memorial day weekend was so chaotic this year, everything was a clusterfuck. friday and saturday were so chaotic but i barely remember what happened then bc everything sunday overshadowed it wtf

family drama and rants after the cut… also a content warning for mentions of blood

my sister and i woke up at 7 am on friday in order to beat the traffic (we couldn’t go down thursday night like our parents and my mom’s older younger brother did bc my sister had a concert). i decided to take advantage of the house being empty of my parents to look in the “witchcraft shed” to see if my mother had hidden any of my possessions i didn’t know about (my mom in the last year has gone on a crusade against “witchcraft” and after i left for college she took anything she deemed witchcraft and shoved it in this shed so that the witchcraft wouldn’t be “tainting” her home) and a few things that i knew i didn’t take with me to college but were missing when i came home weren’t in the shed (most notably the giant 6 foot wide 4 foot long spider me and two of my friends built in high school that was meant to be aragog from h*rry potter that i keep not bc i like harry potter (🤢) anymore but because he’s a giant spider and i always take him with me to sleepaway camp to decorate the unit bc he adds ambiance and also the matching smaller spiders that i made that i hung from the rafters are gone too). but what i’m most mad that she hid in the shed is this little canvas painting of a corn snake that a camper made for me 3 years ago… that goes on my camper fanart wall! that was a gift! how dare she!

anyways me and my sister rescued the shit we wanted to rescue (including the cd of the live action little mermaid soundtrack) and we went on our merry way down to the shore. all was well, we didn’t run into any traffic on the way and we got dunks for breakfast. my mom’s youngest brother was also supposed to come down on friday, and he was supposed to drop off his 13yo daughter (my cousin) at his ex-wife’s house bc it’s supposed to be her weekend. my cousin is not happy with this seeing as she has spent the first 12 memorial day weekends of her life down the shore at our beachhouse with her dad’s side of the family and the last 3-4 years since the divorce it was always her dad’s turn during mdw. my cousin had been trying to convince her mom to come down so that she can come down too and spend the day with her cousins (mainly me my sister and our two cousins who are our age (19-21)) (there’s no one her age on our side of her family). this is unlikely as her mom has not been to our beachhouse in 7 years. my uncle is trying to communicate with my aunt (ik they’re divorced but she’s still my aunt in my head idk) and trying to coordinate dropping off my cousin with her but she is not responding. he ends up taking my cousin with him down the shore. my cousin keeps complaining to me and my sister that her mom would rather go do yoga that spend time with her. the gist we are getting from the cousin is that her mom does not want to have her that weekend for whatever reason and our cousin is not happy about it. she eventually comes down saturday afternoon (without telling any of the other adults apparently. just her daughter. which my uncle (her ex-husband) and my mom were not happy about). it was extremely awkward for everyone

i don’t remember if anything happened saturday. i’m almost positive something happened but i don’t remember after the chaos of sunday

so of course the day starts at 8 am to wake up and go to my parents’ new church that’s totally not a cult… it was whatever. i’ve been zoning out during church sermons since i was like 12 so i was a pro at this. i think up gay fanfiction during the entire time. on the way back to the beach house from church i sat in the backseat of the van (a spot that i have had claimed since middle school for whole-family car rides bc not only can i zone out whatever my parents and brother are arguing about this time but i get praise for how “selfless” i am for taking the backseat, which i suppose technically has a little less legroom than the other seats). we’re on the exit ramp from the garden state parkway to get back to [town redacted]. my parents are arguing, my brother is loudly complaining about something i guess, idk, i was reading fanfiction on my phone. i was not paying attention. i am, however, paying attention when my dad rear-ends the big pickup truck in front of us on the exit ramp, which is very crowded because it’s memorial day weekend. my mom starts to yell at my dad for being reckless. my dad steps out to talk to the guy in the pickup truck. luckily for us the truck isn’t damaged, just a small gash on the front of my mom’s minivan. my dad and the guy in the pickup dap each other up (or at least i am told that’s what the gesture was after trying to explain it to my cousin). my dad gets back in the car and we start driving back to the house. my brother starts yelling about something. i don’t remember what. my mom’s still chastising my dad for driving recklessly (the pickup stopped very suddenly it would’ve been hard for my dad to stop on time). my brother continues screaming as my parents ignore him. my mom declares that we’re having “quiet time”. k-love is playing faintly in the background. my brother is not happy that we’re still playing music during quiet time. my mom wins.

also on sunday my mom’s older sister and their dad (my poppop) are supposed to come for a day trip. now the thing you need to know about my poppop is he is very old. he has dementia and he has a large number of health problems. the backs of his hands and forearms (which are normally the color of a very tan italian-american) are speckled with black. i don’t actually know why this is. he has difficulty with walking, but refuses to use mobility aids. he also isn’t allowed to drive anymore, which is why he came with my aunt. his skin is apparently really really thin (this is relevant). the plan was initially for everyone to go out to lunch at this one seafood restaurant we always go to. usually we go saturday night when the most people are here, but poppop wanted to go, and because he has been going there for decades and is friends (?) with the owner, his kids were willing to indulge him. my aunt and my poppop get there while my mom’s older younger brother, his wife, and their two sons (the aforementioned cousins who are me and my sister’s age) are down at the beach. my sister and i text our cousins saying “hey pop’s here you guys wanna come back so we can go to [seafood restaurant]?” but no. apparently poppop and my aunt want to go to the beach first. also poppop wants to go to the restaurant for dinner. everyone except me and my mom seem fine with this. before he leaves for the beach, however, poppop asks my mom if there’s any beers. she’s trying to get out of getting him a beer. i’m not sure if she was genuinely concerned for his health or doing her weird “i am in this world but i am not of this world” judgey thing again. she asks if i can look in the outside fridges for pop. i do not pick up that she does not actually want me to get him a beer, however, i thought that my uncle’s beers that he had were in bottles and not cans so when i saw the beer can on it’s side i thought it was a soda can. “sorry pop, there’s no beers in there” “uncle [redacted] must have took them with him to the beach”. my dad gets him the beer, as he also did not pick up on the fact that my mom really did not want him having that beer (she ended up being right on this one tho given what happened)

it is agreed among poppop’s kids that we are going to show up at the restaurant exactly as it opens at 4 to put our names in so that we can get poppop back home to pennsylvania at a reasonable time bc he’s old and they’re worried about his health. there are 9 people going to the restaurant: me, my sister, my mom, my mom’s older younger brother and his family, my mom’s sister, and my poppop. my dad and brother are staying back bc my brother has a ton of allergies and is eating on his own, my mom’s youngest brother and his kid left in the morning. me, my sister, and the cousin that’s my sister’s age are sent on foot to put our name in and the other six come a little later in two cars. we put our name in, we get our table, all is well. we’re waiting for about 5-10 minutes and then our aunt (my mom’s sister) comes in. she tells us that poppop fell coming out of the car and he’s bleeding heavily from his head and also his knee. she says that poppop is insisting we don’t call an ambulance. my sister and i, who are first aid/for trained and certified, say abso-fucking-lutely not, especially at his age. we tell the server we’re forfeiting our table and we walk outside to see what’s happening. when we walk out we see my mom had the same idea as us bc she’s on the phone with 911. her siblings think she’s overreacting (she’s correct to do this). my older cousin (my age) and his dad are pressing paper towels against poppop’s head to stop the bleeding. the restaurant owner (who is friends/familiar with my poppop and is also very old) and his daughter and granddaughter (who run the restaurant) are outside too (this is where they got the paper towels) (they also got a large bag of ice but it wouldn’t help much in the situation). the police arrive, ems not long after. at some point my mom has me call my dad to update him on the situation. ems gets pop bandaged up and on a stretcher in the ambulance. my mom goes with him in the ambulance, and the adultier adults (my mom’s brother, sister, and her brother’s wife) follow in one of the cars. once my older cousin has washed his hands of the blood (biohazard), my mom has the four of us drive her van back home. our cousins’ mom gives us $40 for dinner.

we drive hack home, we give my dad another update, we eventually get dinner at this italian place on the boardwalk that used to have really good really cheap pizza but has kinda fell to the wayside recently and is hella expensive now but it’s possible for me to eat there with my gluten thing which is what really matters. poppop is in the hospital until 9ish at night, the adults are arguing whether he should stay the night in the hospital, stay the night at our beach house, or drive back to pennsylvania and spend the night at home. staying at the hospital would probably be best but he really doesnt want to and the hospital discharges him. by now the other adultier adults have agreed that my mom was right to call 911. it’s decided that poppop is going to stay the night at the shore, which is an issue because the fog is really thick and we’re on the second floor of the house so he’d have to go up the wet, outdoor stairs to get up here. also because with him and my aunt staying over, we are slightly over capacity when it comes to beds. when he gets there there is a team of about 5 people surrounding him making sure he doesn’t fall again coming up the steps. nobody can agree on the bed situation, nobody is happy, at some point somebody tries to convince my sister to sleep on the trundle bed. it’s a mess.

also the whole time all this is happening my parents and sister are arguing about my sister’s birthday/her birthday gifts and my mom is being all uppitty about the fact that she doesn’t drink alcohol

#rambles #long post

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nyxdm · 1 year

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Act l .scene one

Life is like pancake ,you just live in the loop of not burning and turning and turning and turning ….

So basically shirts are stupid.In fact If you give it a think ,our clothes hug us every time we put them on.

Well…that’s one reason the other is that ….I don’t know just stick with the first one.

I put on my shirt when my dad knocked on the door for the third time.

Well indeed I needed my dad to stop knocking on the door and call a taxi instead, but I was too concerned about my shirt to stick under my pants.

the first day of school and I was really exited because that day was the day I was finally meeting my boyfriend after a long time of chatting and online conversations finally seeing his face would be a releaf but I was really anxious because we once exchanged photos and he was really hot but now that I think I can’t find any logical Eason why would he date me after seeing that picture though maybe he was a psycho huh?

Act l.scene two

Rumors spread like memes same idea but not funny (well at least in my case )

I am actually a kind of man to be known as talkative but that day people were talking and I was all silent.

Those looks …. If you know what I mean then I’m deeply sorry for you.

When I got on the bus with a mind full of shitty romantic happy hopes, all ended with those looks because I knew something was up and that wasn’t something good.

I didn’t have any friends ,there were just people who I knew close. And Layla was one of them.

Layla looked at me in such a weird way when I sat next to her.

“Did you see those?”I said. Of course she did.

She sat there in silence and ignored me until “this is so shitty why would you do this ?”

I didn’t have an answer.

She gave me her phone and said “why …just why would you ?”

Yes it looked even more awful in someone else’s phone.

“Look I don’t…I mean I don’t really think I want to hang out anymore.”she whispered.

And that’s it I wasn’t someone to get so emotional but something broke in me after seeing that photo.

You wonder what was that photo about, I think you can guess .

There were photos and one video of me getting fucked by this guy I thought I loved over summer.

I gave her phone back and sat silent, one part of me not giving a shit about what they whispered or shouted. “Whore”, “disgusting” and the other part trembled with a broken heart trying to hide tears.

Act ll.scene one

Fuck who fucks with my eyes.

It was the second break and I was sitting in the toilet trying not to cry.

“Fuck!”I thought.

What was I thinking , I should have killed that guy god!.

Yeah well I know, not so bright thoughts but fuck you I was twisted until somebody said.

“Are you crying?”

I was so fucking frightened that jumped two meter high.

Then I looked up and guess what I saw the guy Who was supposed to be my boyfriend.

Stephan.

“Shit are you ok ?”he asked.

“No I am not.”I said ,completely forgotten about him and tried to keep my cool.

“Open thee door.” he demanded.

“Okay.”I said. hadn’t he seen those things? I told you he was really a psycho because no one would have hugged me after seeing those things.

I felt so guilty in that moment.

Cheating on this cute super smart handsome kind humble hottie wasn’t the brightest idea.

Because after hugging I looked up to see his expression but he immediately gripped my face hard with and whispered. “You are dead to me.”

I would have been caught dead in that moment if he hadn’t closed the door and started to kiss me so harshly I couldn’t breath.

Finally I released myself. “What the fuck ?!”

My face hurt because of his grip but my mind was rushing . Why were we kissing ? Wouldn’t he be hating me by now ? He said I was dead to him ! Wtf !!

“Shut the fuck up twink and suck my dick!”he said and pushed my head down till I was on my knees looking at him taking the big thing out.

I was so shocked I use sat there looking at his big cock and balls.

“What are you doin..!”I was about to say but he grabbed my hair and pushed me into him.

It was frightening because yeah when some guy pushes his dick into your face you should be.

I tried to release myself but he pushed harder me when this didn’t work , he grabbed my sweater and pushed my up and whispered to my ear. “Don’t you wanna fuck?”

“Yes.”

“Then undress”

He grabbed my waist and pushed our naked bodies into each other.

Kissing and biting me every inch.

“I can fuck you better.

He pushed his big dick into my tight hole and put his hand on my mouth then fucked me.

It felt really good to feel him inside me.he had a big cock and knew how to use it.

So I came like six time in a row.

After he was done my he was done and finally came, my hole was all screwed.

I sat there trembling and fucking tired ,trying not to look at him dress.

#smut #gay

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theneverendingmixtapecontinued · 1 year

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Daily Update 366 (Ketchup)

Recent Times When I’ve Thought About Yousht

1.) HS Musicals --> I bought new copies of the cast albums for the 2 musicals we did with Lanno in HS... I already had all 3 versions of the musical from with MS with Fluffy... I actually really like the musical we did your senior year, the 1967 version; it’s not nearly as obnoxious as I remember it... I thoroughly enjoyed it... For once, the thought of it gave me positive vibes... I have to give a listen to the other one we did, but I bought it with the most recent London version, which I heard... The point is, yousht would think I had copies of those 2 musicals already... But mine were just old burned copies from HS... The first one barely even worked... I don’t know why I never thought to buy them until now...

2.) Flat Tire --> Last night, I hit the curb, and got a flat tire on my way to Hadley to see Guardians Of The Galaxy 3... Don’t ask me how, but I managed to stop right at our local State Park... Where we’d go sometimes, when we first learned to drive... (I even lucked out that there was a port-a-potty!!!)... The point is, I thought of yousht immediately... And how there was one time yousht took me there at dusk, said “Don’t worry, we’re not gonna make-out” because it’s one of those classic spots, got out of the car, sat at the overlook, yousht told me your hopes and dreams, and I really did think yousht were going to kiss me... At least, I really wanted yousht to do so... Someday, I’m going to write a semi-autobiographical teen angst novel... I just don’t know if it’s going to be wish-fulfilment where we do hook-up, or the actual truth which was bittersweet...

3.) Perks Movie --> Speaking of us bonding in HS, I finally watched The Perks Of Being A Wallflower movie, which is of course, 11 years old already... WTF?!?... (As it were, it was still too soon after shit happened for me to watch it then...) I bought it, but I hadn’t even opened it... The point is, I laughed, I cried, I felt all sorts of things... It directly quoted the book... It filled me with nostalgia... It reminded me of why I read that book twice... Football games, mixtapes, diner food, Rocky Horror, parties... It was just weird, that before he turned evil, the drummer and I talked about how it should be a film... And then there it was a few years later... And I just could not bare to watch it.... And now that I have... I feel way more complete, and inspired, and probably infinite...

4.) Joyous Librarian --> My supervisor and I were chatting about prom, because her daughter (who also works with me) just went to hers... I told her about my actual prom, but not with much enthusiasm... And then I must have lit-up like a firecracker when I talked about yousht... And my semi-formal... And how that was my real prom... She started asking lots of questions... The point is, when I told her about how a coworker actually knows yousht, she could not believe it... She insisted I go see yousht... That you’re local... That I shouldn’t miss the opportunity... That who knows what could happen... She actually said, “Oh, I’m so happy for you, that’s so exciting...” Like, I told her you’re attached, and the first words out of her mouth were for me to ask our mutual what your status really is... I mean, yes, I said, “The guy I was in love with in HS”... So, I guess it implies I could still be in love with yousht, particularly since I’m still single... I don’t know... But I did also tell her child about the ridiculous connection to yousht that I found at work...

5.) Your Name --> As per usual, or really more so, I’ve seen your goofy first name everywhere these days... Especially, in a ton of the credits for TLM (Live Action)... And the guy who played Charlie Brown originally (yousht might have said)... And of course, on books at the library... The point is, I think it’s more specific then that... Like, I didn’t write it down, but sometimes your name would just show up at pointed moments... Where I go... Huh, of course... There it is... And I don’t know what to think anymore...

HONORABLE MENTION: HS Encounter --> A girl from Marching Band (who was my nurse last year), just walked into my job 10 minutes ago, looking for a private area to talk to somebody... She’s a big girl, 2/3 years older than me... Who has an identical twin... I gave her a tight hug, which I wasn’t able to do the last time I saw her... And then she just left, because we don’t have a quiet study room she can use... The point is, holy crap, I’m writing to yousht again, after 3 months have passed... Then, in walks someone who knew us when... Who first told me to go to more punk/ska shows, like I used to do, and either say “hi” to your or not... But to just go and have a good time... Who just told me I look so good, and am doing what I want to be doing... Like, I’m downstairs in Children’s, say what?!?

***DISCLAIMER***: You’re still so relevant to me... There’s some air of yousht surrounding me, still... I was gonna say that your presence is still felt... But I didn’t believe it completely... Until right this very second... I mean, I don’t get my life... My heart wants to change directions (and it has in some way), yet I find yousht everywhere... It’s not necessarily a direct clue... But there always ends up being something... Do I just miss yousht?!?... Is it more?!?... Yousht were everything to me and I was nothing without you, but yousht also strung me along and never made a legitimate move... Then, we’d only get each other after the fact... What does it all mean, seriously dude, please tell me?!?

BTW, I eat ketchup, now... Not all the time... But, it happens... <@@@

#Destiny #TwinFlame #FEELINGS #BeTheChange #Grow #Vent #GarfieldSays

#storyofmylife #whatif #donotreblog #movienight #GPS #VIP

0 notes

alsjeblieft-zeg · 1 year

Text

254 of 2023

Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous?

Yeah, my dad. And I used to be as well, until I lost the power in my left hand.

Have you ever been 4-wheeling?

No, never. But it kind of fascinates me.

What’s the weather been like today?

Pretty good. Sunny, but a bit cold.

What was the last exam you sat for?

Damn it was years ago. How can I remember?

Will you be attending any weddings in the near future?

I was supposed to, but they broke up, so.

Do you currently have any unread text messages, and who from?

No, I don’t.

Speaking of text messages, what colour is your cell phone?

The case is light blue, but the phone itself is iridescent white, if I remember well. I hven’t removed the case in ages.

Do you live anywhere near the woods?

I live near the park, but I wish I lived closer to the forest.

Would you ever consider a career in the tourism industry?

Nope, but I know so much about the place I live in that I could literally make a tour guide lol.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate?

The anniversary of our relationship and our birthdays.

When was the last time you used q-tips?

...what are q-tips even? *oh, you mean cotton swabs. Yesterday, I think?

How does your hair react to humid weather or rain?

It gets flat and I don’t like it.

What’s your favourite flavour of iced tea?

Ew, tea. I don’t like tea, and the cold version is just plain gross.

Do you understand music theory?

I actually do.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

Seven or so.

Are you expected to act professionally at your job?

Well, I make trains, so it speaks for itself. It’s all about safety and good quality.

Infomercials: entertaining or stupid?

Both at the same time.

What’s your favourite brand of energy drink?

I had a brain haemorrhage, I don’t drink this shit.

Do you have (or have you ever had) acne?

No, actually not.

When was the last time you got pins-and-needles?

I get them every day. Neurological things, you know.

Why did you click to take this survey?

Because I can.

If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them?

No, thankfully. Only replaced with stronger ones.

How do you get new music? Buy or download or what?

Downloading is illegal in my country, go figure. I use Spotify.

Have you ever sent someone an abusive text message?

WTF is even that question?

Do you require a lot of time to do things or are you quick?

It depends what it is, but now I’m a bit slower than before due to disability.

What will be the next concert you attend?

None. These lights bother me.

Turn the nearest television on, what’s on?

The Big Bang Theory.

How often do you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed”?

Never.

Can you rap?

Never tried, but I do like the music.

What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s?

Milkshake and chicken nuggets, or McMuffins when we’re in France.

Are there any textbooks near where you are right now?

Yeah, one or two.

What’s the time?

20:32.

Do you know how to use a DSLR camera?

Yeah, I do. I’e been doing photography for many years.

How’s your body temperature right now?

I’m not gonna bother to check.

Do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit?

Celsius, like the rest of Europe.

What was the last thing you got a really good deal on?

I don’t understand this question.

Have you ever studied any ancient societies?

History classes are mandatory in our schools.

Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings?

I’m a guy.

What was the last reason you took medicine?

Epilepsy lol. I have to take medication for the rest of my life, so.

Do you exercise regularly?

I do, at physiotherapists.

What is your coffee of choice? (flat white, cappuccino, etc.)

Latte, but I don’t drink coffee anymore.

Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics?

Nope, but voting is mandatory here anyway. Not like we have the real government lol.

Are you feeling worried about anything right now?

Not in particular.

Are you a gossipy type of person?

No, I’m not. I don’t live anyone’s life when I have my own.

When will your next meal be, and do you know what it will consist of?

Probably chicken.

Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt.

Do I have to get into details of how brain bleeding feels like?

What’s your opinion on your in-laws, if you have any?

I don’t have any.

Do you make excuses often, or do you just get things done?

I get things donre. I don’t like lame excuses.

Have you seen your best friend today?

Yes, he’s sitting next to me.

What can you smell right now?

FOod being baked in the oven.

Any important birthdays coming up?

Yeah, mine. And after 120 days, my husband’s.

Fireworks: yay or nay?

Nay.

Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?

Gonna go to bed soon because I’m tired and I have a headache.

How about tomorrow? Any plans?

Going to work, then to the physiotherapist.

Do you know how to do your own laundry or does someone else do it?

I do everyone’s laundry if it’s my turn, and my husband does everyone’s laundry when it’s his turn.

If you could eat or drink anything right now, what would it be?

Just food.

What colour are your headphones?

Blue.

Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go?

Today, to Dendermonde. I wanted to see it, I’ve never been there before.

Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly?

No, I deleted that shit.

Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?!

No, they’re not.

What was the last movie you saw at the theatres?

I don’t waste my time on movies.

Are there any new movies that you’d really like to see?

No, I literally don’t give a crap about movies.

If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be?

Cello.

Do you overthink a lot of things?

All the fucking time.

Is there anybody you miss but can’t see again?

Yeah, I think J. And M.

When was the last time you had a hangover?

Long time ago. I don’t drink anymore.

#survey #q&a survey #random survey

0 notes

punkscowardschampions · 1 year

Text

Bimmy & JJ

Bobby: [just got far too much time after school to be sat here stewing waiting for Jimothy to get home, me like I hope you washed up your tea mugs or we’ll be SUSPICIOUS honey]

Jimmy: [what a fun mood he’ll be in, having to wait because I’m sure Jimothy doesn’t get home til like 6 or even 6.30 sometimes, I’m also sure that whilst he carried the mugs and her sandwich plate into the kitchen he did not in fact wash them up so unless y’all have a dishwasher he could’ve just quickly shoved them in, which I’m pretty sure we’ve said before they don’t, they will be there]

Bobby: [the drama sis, who else are you going to be having ‘round when Libi is also at school so you know she hasn’t been able to sneak in, poor boy just here freaking out and lowkey looking through all your things like what do we need to take, what can we leave, like you’re gonna flit off tonight]

Jimmy: [you defs should’ve washed up but that just goes to prove how distracted y’all were, cos yeah, has not even occurred to him that Bobby will even notice never mind that he’s fully packing his bags rn, soz boy]

Bobby: [someone was a little too busy lmao, not that that’s crossed our mind, we assume she just came to tell you this terrible news in person so you’ll be fully on board and ready to go when you get home, assuming y’all track each other’s phones so he’s already checked you are at work/on your way home and haven’t gone to kms after this meeting]

Jimmy: [come find him whatever room he is in when you finally do stroll in, under the premise of asking him what he wants for tea so you can sit him down and talk about the pub move and Libi’s bday and the dog and all the things, just there like ? because not expecting the scene he walks in on as he announces himself with the lights on and off move]

Bobby: [when you’re so hyped up but not in a fun way at all, just a LOT of energy lmao ‘when did she come over?’ immediately, no hello here lol]

Jimmy: [a look like that’s like calm down, in a genuinely concerned way obvs not a pisstakey one, because whoa now this is a lot ‘lunchtime’ steering over to somewhere with a hand on his shoulder to sit down ‘we needed to talk’ looking at him cos clearly can’t wait until dinner is ready and on the table as was his initial plan ‘we do an’ all’ me just writing this like he’d say it even though tis signed so we’re not getting that northern-ness across lol, let me live]

Bobby: [‘I already know, Libi told me’ dismissively but in a no we don’t way ‘cos I’m already on the level and up to date don’t worry, sitting wherever but under duress because we’d rather be pacing frankly]

Jimmy: [‘go on, what did she say?’ because wanna hear it from him and thus be able to gauge what he’s feeling more so than the info he does or doesn’t know, cos he’s sure you do have the full jc move goss, boy, but it’s not the knowing that’s as important as how upset you are about it and wtf you think you’re doing packing lol]

Bobby: [‘that she got them kicked out and they have to go live over the pub, so everyone’s gonna find out’ like um hello but also looking at him sympathetically ‘cos it’s you that got the dirty did on you, not us]

Jimmy: [managing not to wince, sigh or squeeze his eyes shut at how blunt that was because tis true tbf, and as much as you don’t relish everybody chatting about it, it’s more for Bobby and Libi’s sake than his, we know that, cos they have to go to school and deal whereas he isn’t an angsty teen anymore and had to deal with peeps chatting worse shit about his dad murdering his mum etc when he was, so, from his POV not nice but also not up there at the top of his priorities re this marriage breakdown in the slightest, so a nod like alright, that’s out of the way, onto the next thing, making a deliberate meal of looking around the room so he can’t miss it ‘and what’s all this?’]

Bobby: [just watching him not react which is as much of a reaction as if you just had, sorry to say, picking up your feet in your seat dramatically because you wanna kick something like for fuck’s sake but you aren’t going to so just fold them up underneath you instead ‘there’s no reason to stay here no more and now all the reason to go, we should before it gets bad’]

Jimmy: [‘mate, here’s our home’ cos it is and jj both know running away doesn’t solve anything actually, as much as they had doing it as teens ‘all the people we’re bothered about and who are bothered about us are here, our family is’ because soz but Libi and Janis and Casey are still your fam and baby Jac also exists ‘we can’t just piss off somewhere else and cross our fingers they’ll be alright on their own, or pretend it’ll solve owt for us two going off however far down the road, it don’t work like that’]

Bobby: [idk if you can laugh, maybe it would just sound odd, no offence, or if it’s just the facial expression of but either way, doing that like you what ‘they’ve all fucked off first, there’s no one but us left, we don’t need to stay here and get humiliated ‘cos of them, what for?’]

Jimmy: [shaking his head but he is nothing if not patient, so sitting down near to him without being right in his grill about it ‘they’ve not, she’s been here today, we were chatting only a bit ago’ like tis simply not true, I’m soz ‘and we’ve said we’ll try and be proper mates, have a better go at this than we have been, that’s what for, for all of us, you and Libi are included right in with it’]

Bobby: [‘and who’s idea was that?’ like I know it weren’t yours ‘you can’t be mates with her, it’s fucked she would even ask you to do that after what she’s done’ because we think this is gross and terrible]

Jimmy: [‘mine’ because it was, he said he wanted to be ‘you know I’ve not been doing well with how things have gone before now, I need to do something different, try to, why I asked her and she’s said she will do, it’s for my sake more than hers, but you heard, it’s for all of ours’]

Bobby: [doing the same thing where you try not to react as you did earlier because we really pity you right now and think you are being played because of your emotions but we know you won’t appreciate that so we’re basically just grimacing like … anyway lmao ‘I’m proposing something different, a total fresh start, that’s just going back to how it was’ like come on]

Jimmy: [‘it’ll be nowt like it were’ using the depression to his advantage to really suppress how heartbreaking that is as a concept to him rn because not trying to break or shut down here in this moment by sending himself on a thought spiral of the way things used to be or are now ‘it can’t be, but we’ve gotta stay here, I ain’t able to chuck you no sort of fresh start on my own at the minute, just us keeping on, that’d be how it got bad’ not him acknowledging to Bobby, a little bit, how mentally ill he is, oh progress]

Bobby: [‘nah, it won’t, but she’ll string you along like she did Case the entire time because that’s what she does’ getting up to your feet ‘cos you got points to make ‘it’s not about me, it’s about you, because if you don’t cut yourself free then you’re gonna get worse and worse and she’ll do fuck all about it like she can’t see it’]

Jimmy: [SUCH a look like DON’T that he cannot stop himself from throwing out because Janis defense squad 5ever ‘if it’s about me, listen to me, she proper helped us earlier when I badly were in need of, I get you don’t trust us, and you’re right to not, but we’ve had a word about where to go and what’ll help us more from here on, it ain’t owt to do with different geography’]

Bobby: [just staring at you exasperatedly, shaking our head like what are you on about ‘I don’t trust her and neither should you, you know, as she cheated on you with your own brother’]

Jimmy: [a DEEP breath ‘yeah, and that won’t go away, no matter how long we spend in the car looking for a new postcode’]

Bobby: [‘you wouldn’t have to think about it every day, risk seeing either of them, hear people talking about it, see all their fucking family all the pissing time’ slapping the back of one of your hands on the other after every point as punctuation and emphasis ‘we’d have each other, you don’t need to be scared’]

Jimmy: [‘there’s sod all that’ll stop us thinking about it every day’ letting that sigh out he didn’t before because of how true and heavy he knows that is until he starts to sort his head out ‘might be what the doctors chuck at me’ll do something, but-’ a pause, to look at him and for emphasis ‘I still have to see her, and I want to’]

Bobby: [have obviously been signing animatedly this entire time, so slowing it down and being a bit calmer about it ‘you’re just brainwashed, you don’t have to do anything, you’d be better if you didn’t’]

Jimmy: [‘I have to get my head sorted so I can be about for her and Libi as much as to do a better job of it than I have with you, not instead of’ when you have not mentioned the baby because I firmly believe you have never to him, even though he knows about it via Libi]

Bobby: [shaking our head again ‘no, you don’t, you don’t owe them anything, it’s their fault, not yours’ putting a supportive arm on his shoulder for a sec before you have to talk again ‘you need to think about yourself’]

Jimmy: [‘I am doing, it is my fault, and I couldn’t live with myself if this is how things stay, never mind them getting no worse’ doing a fam style feelsy lean because always ‘for none of us, I love the bones of the lot of you’]

Bobby: [pushing away from it ‘that is a mental thing to say, you got cucked, Jesus, Jim!’ walking off into another room for a second because we can’t deal with you right now but also you’re deaf so that shuts down all conversation unless he follows you and you don’t think he will so you’re coming back in]

Jimmy: [‘I am a bit mental’ when he comes back in, doing the 🤏 to try and make it slightly bants because again, how true and heavy that is with regards to the long slow trek of trying to get better is so much ‘I left her first, I’ll not be doing nowt like that again’]

Bobby: [‘she’s not coming back, she wants everyone to know now’ shrugging ‘and someone else wouldn’t make you feel mental for any of this, they’re the sick ones’]

Jimmy: [‘I’m not hanging about for her on the off chance, I meant what I said, I’ve a life here, my job, mates-’ a pause while he corrects that to ‘a really top mate’ cos shoutout to Pete, that icon ‘so have you’ after another pause like shoutout to Libi too, remember her, boy]

Bobby: [when we really don’t believe you and we’ve literally crossed our arms whilst you’re talking like I won’t be adding to this, almost turning away but only half as if you’re half listening]

Jimmy: [‘things started to go wrong ages ago, I should’ve cracked on with putting them right then’ like a * for what he said about them being the sick ones as if he just realised he didn’t address that]

Bobby: [‘not your fault they’re fucked in the head, always have been’ me like oop and you reap what you sow by acting like Casey was an unfixable and unredeemable nightmare]

Jimmy: [‘it is, I never gave neither of them what I should’ve, instead I let them both down, ‘course they’d stick together for it’]

Bobby: [rolling your eyes like oh please ‘there’s no point staying here, leave out pretending there is’]

Jimmy: [‘there is, and you know it as well as I do, pissing off and pretending you can be chuffed and never look back is what there’s no point to’]

Bobby: [‘leave me out of your sad attempt at playing happy families with them, I’m not interested’ before turning the TV on and throwing yourself on the nearest empty sofa to sprawl out]

Jimmy: [give him some time, go make a tea for you both and leave his within reach when it’s ready but have yours in the kitchen so that again you’re not in his grill cos much to process]

Bobby: [we’ll just be here in a vegetative disassociated state not processing and instead watching mindless television, don’t mind us lol]

Jimmy: [that went well lads]

Bobby: [you love to see it lmao]

Jimmy: [can’t even tell him about this dog now cos he’s made it clear he’s not interested and Jimothy is that bitch who will just leave it, hence you’ve got yourselves in this mess, what a fun stalemate to be in, go make dinner of some sort and bring it to him the same way as if this is in any way casual or a normal night]

Bobby: [at least you’ll have to eat that even though you left the tea because you’re a teenage boy and they are always hungry, and at least it’s physically impossible for you to hold a full conversation and eat so we can pretend this isn’t awkward as it is]

Jimmy: [just eating in silence on opposite sofas, a scene that would be all too familiar of the past month, I really want Jimothy to step his pussy up but I can’t run before he can walk so here we are]

Bobby: [the way this is preferable to us because we’re sick of Libi trying to talk to us in general and we just wanna stay here alone and not deal with any of them or any of that mess of a scenario or any emotions; this’ll be why Jimmy can’t show to her birthday though, tah Bobby]

Jimmy: [I can’t shade him too hard because the level of emotionally exhausted he’d have been all day before the JJ convo even started never mind this one, and at least he has tried to begin this one, but ugh it’s frustrating lol, like, he can’t even be having his own convo with Libi via text rn to make it productive cos there’s only so much he can hack in one day]

Bobby: [it makes perfect sense, if this wasn’t an issue we wouldn’t be here, at least Bobby will be going to his room at some point so you don’t have to just sit and watch him do nothing all night]

Jimmy: [go to bed and sleep sir because we all know you want to for literally a thousand years, at least we can put the JJ convo here as well, like pre-Libi’s bday and getting Peach, him telling her he can’t do whatever they had planned as an outing, cos he said he’d let her know if he couldn’t]

Bobby: [sounds good girl]

Jimmy: Have you said to Libi about [wherever they were going]?

Janis: Not yet, though I will lead with it now I’ve let things cool off

Janis: better than calling her a selfish cow or whatever again, no doubt

Jimmy: don’t, our kid’s having none of it and pissing off without him wouldn’t be a good shout at the minute

Janis: oh, that’s alright

Janis: I did wonder if he’d be up for it

Janis: I can still take her, if you don’t mind us doing it without you?

Jimmy: you’re alright, if you still fancy it, crack on

Janis: It won’t be the same but it's not my birthday so better think of something to do with her

Janis: how is he, stupid question though it is

Jimmy: The kind of question where the answer is, that the other day I came in from work to find him packing the place up, with it in his head we’d just piss off and go

Janis: ah

Janis: I bet he took the news you weren’t after leaving your whole life here behind really well then

Jimmy: Weren’t no 👍

Jimmy: 🖕 more like

Janis: how are you is a better question then

Janis: 🤏

Janis: trying to take comfort in the fact that’s the expected and normal teenage response?

Jimmy: something like that

Janis: you do know how normal it is, yeah

Janis: Libi is honestly pretty weird for wanting to spend any time with us still

Jimmy: Least she’s weird how I am, ‘cause same

Janis: I’d say you go with her but it’d only be funny to me for the first three seconds to see his reaction to suggesting I keep an eye on him

Janis: he’s only different ‘cos he had a family about to get sick of, you didn’t

Jimmy: Take real comfort in that any road, can’t I?

Janis: 🤞

Janis: I’m sorry, I was looking forward to it too

Jimmy: I’d say tell her I am, but it’s probably better if she don’t have no clue I were ever gonna be there

Janis: depends

Janis: you’re allowed to let her know your intentions but do you want to also let her know in the process that Bobby don’t want to see her

Jimmy: can’t wrap no bow round it and make it look a top birthday gift, bit too gutting for her

Janis: yeah, probably

Janis: there’s an argument for letting him be a dickhead on his own time but

Janis: I appreciate you looking out for her best interest, although she’s going to know regardless when he doesn’t show up to [do their whole rigamarole lol]

Jimmy: Argument for locking them in together somewhere and losing the key ‘til they both stop being dickheads and sort themselves out, but probably best we don’t, nspcc would be right round

Janis: this is going to be dead uncomfortable for us all

Janis: last thing this situation needs is social workers

Jimmy: Long as he don’t ring the rspca on the dog I’ve not said nowt to him about

Janis: bit harsh, poor cow really is blameless

Janis: she can always stay with my grandparents, don’t forget, if he does kick off or you at least need time to tell him

Jimmy: tah, rather not take you up on the offer, but fact is I might have to

Janis: I mean, ultimately I think he should get over it and deal, you had to keep Twix about for him but I’m not going to force the thing upon you to make that point

Janis: fucking teenagers

Jimmy: Who’d have ‘em, eh?

Janis: 👵👴

Janis: made us feel a bit sick, that

Jimmy: Tell me about it, mate

Jimmy: sick to the back teeth over here, I am

Janis: you ever thought of taking up smoking?

Janis: heard it works wonders

Jimmy: What I’ve heard, an’ all

Janis: but seriously, you’ve gotta do some shit for yourself, catch up with Pete

Janis: or he will drive you actually certifiably insane

Jimmy: Funnily enough, he said the same, when he were trying to get us to never have nowt more to do with you, like, but

Janis: Oh no, got my biggest hater on my side

Janis: he’ll be gutted

Janis: maybe he has A single point, broken clocks, all that

Jimmy: Thing is, I don’t have the energy to do owt for myself

Janis: yeah, I know that feeling, be a right hypocrite to act as if otherwise

Jimmy: broken clock, all that

Jimmy: Every dickhead wants us to strike HOW many times?!

Janis: proper pisstake

Janis: just pick up a pack, I reckon

Janis: least you won’t be directly fucking up no one if you do

Jimmy: 👍

Jimmy: urge to piss off down the shop for them or a pint of milk’s never been stronger, might be Debbie had A point herself there

Janis: never said she didn’t, no offence to you all, like

Janis: if you wanted to spend some time with Libs, we could meet up after school instead this week, if you’d rather

Janis: chuck a fiver at him for some fish and chips or leave a frozen pizza, be alright

Jimmy: None taken, I get where her head were more with every passing day

Jimmy: and tah, again, but I can’t

Janis: we can admit she’s exhausting too, she can’t hear us here

Jimmy: It’s not her, you didn’t hear, or see, him

Janis: you really don’t want to leave him alone then

Jimmy: you don’t need telling how quick you can get on a train or something and be gone

Janis: no, I don’t

Janis: you reckon he might, proper?

Jimmy: I’d have said not without us before, but after hearing what he reckons of me, I dunno now

Janis: That is knackering

Jimmy: Were when I just about had the stamina to keep up with you being at it

Janis: I was a nightmare, you didn’t need it then either

Jimmy: I needed you, massive nightmare as you could be half the time

Janis: oh, half is it

Janis: generous

Janis: well, I understand, you have to do what you have to do, I just wish I could share some of the responsibility of watching him but I dunno how to now

Jimmy: be the rose-tinted 😎 that will, pissing about with the proper %

Jimmy: You’re alright, he’s my responsibility, always has been

Janis: no one should shoulder anything alone, not even you two dickheads

Jimmy: I tried saying when I were on about what we had to stay for, he won’t be told

Janis: alright but don’t make him right about it

Janis: just angry

Jimmy: Never were much good at sorting out angry though, were I?

Janis: you can’t sort angry, you let angry tire itself out

Jimmy: Chatting as the punching bag, it don’t get tired quick enough

Janis: oh Jimmy

Janis: send him my way, fuck it, I’m not exhausted he can get some of what he needs to say out on someone else

Jimmy: I’ve had to hack worse, as an actual punching bag

Janis: but it's not the point, if you’re too done in to even defend yourself then it’s the same difference

Janis: you need rest, he needs to get it out somewhere it’ll not do no damage

Jimmy: There’s no defending myself, his head is done in by the situation I’ve put him in

Janis: you haven’t put him in any situation, come on

Jimmy: ‘Course I have, I set it up so owt I do is for him, top when I’m 🥇 but when I fuck up that’s his life I have done

Janis: that’s just the transition from kid to not

Janis: what else were you meant to do, Ian wasn’t gonna step in and step up, you can’t blame yourself for none of that

Jimmy: Why not? Our kid will do

Janis: yeah, whilst he’s a cunty teenager and then he’ll grow the fuck up too

Janis: that’s just life, everyone treats their kids like the sun shines out their hole and then the kid is royally pissed off when they hit 13, 14 and they realise it don’t and the world don’t give a fuck

Jimmy: Alright, but grow up how? No bloody way I wanted him to

Jimmy: say what you like, but it weren’t meant to be like this

Janis: of course you didn’t want this

Janis: everyone fucks it up, that’s the secret

Janis: every twat reckons they can do better and that’s what keeps the world populated

Jimmy: Dead convenient you’ve managed to unlock that secret when you need it most

Janis: I literally had this kid for the most selfish reasons, what’s the point harping on like I’m gonna do it ‘right’ or ‘well’ just to look like a dickhead in 13 years when it’s being a bastard itself

Jimmy: I’d be a bigger dickhead to make a point about trying, so you can have your ‘win’, there 🏆

Janis: it’s not a win it’s a fucking cliche

Janis: yeah, he’s spoilt and fucked up, but you couldn’t have done no better and he’d be a whole load worse off if you hadn’t of tried as hard as you did

Jimmy: be why I nicked your ‘ ’ to put the word in, that

Janis: you’re a knobhead, but a really good one who cares too fucking much for his own good

Jimmy: Dunno where I could’ve nicked that from an’ all, don’t sound at all like you, or nowt

Janis: nah, never me

Janis: I’m sure you’ve had my faults spelt out to you quite literally if that’s the sort of mood he’s in atm

Jimmy: must’ve mixed you up for your twin again, piss easy done

Jimmy: He’s had it spelt out to him loads more times, I don’t want a bad word said about a lass who’s now my proper mate

Janis: be the nicest review she’s received, would stick out on her dating profile, that

Janis: you don’t have to defend me, you know

Jimmy: He don’t have to badmouth you to us, more like

Jimmy: I know what happened, it happened to me

Janis: fair, if you don’t wanna hear that, you shouldn’t have to

Janis: just don’t do nothing for my sake no more

Jimmy: Can’t stop us, sort of mate I am

Janis: I feel bad that no one warned you what a crap friend I am

Jimmy: I’ll live, nobody else is lining up at the minute

Janis: glad to hear you plan to drop us soon as the invites are rolling in, like

Jimmy: Warned you this were all temporary from day one, girl, why would I have a different plan now it’s mates instead?

Janis: ‘cos now we’re MATES you actually chat to us and I heard you ain’t leaving town, so

Janis: don’t give me that we’ll be off before you know it crap

Jimmy: A petty dickhead would hang on til he don’t fancy it no more and then announce we’re going

Jimmy: never, me

Janis: be no less than I deserve but

Jimmy: Yeah, but

Janis: stay

Jimmy: You, I said it first

Janis: if you’re keeping score, lot I said first too, memory serves

Jimmy: You’d be the first to tell us there’s no point keeping score no more, this convo serves

Jimmy: loving a bit of that today, you

Janis: erm I was trying to cheer you up, sorry I’m absolutely shocking at it and nothing matters, who cares is my default

Jimmy: Dunno what you mean, reckon I’ll cancel my doctor’s appointment ‘cause there’s no chance I’m not absolutely 100% cured, tah for that

Janis: 🙃

Janis: I mean, it’s a gift, really, this sunny disposition and knack for saying and doing the right thing at the right time

Jimmy: I don’t need telling 😎 never could come off, even if I had fancied it

Janis: good thing it suited you so well, did you a massive favour there

Jimmy: Handing Ian his perfect asking for it excuse, but I’ll let you off

Janis: asking for it could be his catchphrase, no doubt

Jimmy: depending how thin on the ground Mastermind contestants are nowadays, there’s a specialist subject in there an’ all

Janis: not a waste of a life after all, mate, happy days

Jimmy: 😁☀️

Janis: are you gonna see me this week or what

Jimmy: [drop your work schedule like you used to when you were a barista boy, with the vibe of there maybe being a lunchtime y’all could see each other again if she’s also free]

Janis: [pick one or a couple that you could do too so he has some options]

Jimmy: there we go then, that answers that

Janis: 😁☀️ ain’t exclusive to Ian

Jimmy: Might not be, but ☔️ is fairly exclusive to the time of year

Janis: where do you fucking live, mate

Jimmy: Ask us by [the first day she suggested] and who knows

Janis: I look forward to the house tour then 😏

Jimmy: Look forward to asking Gracie to find out her old vlog camera and be round, personally

Janis: 💔

Jimmy: I were when I remembered that weren’t your past life an’ all, these bloody mixups just keep on

Janis: never too late to right that wrong

Jimmy: there’s certifiable then there’s certifiable, my dear

Janis: if we are mates now, it’d be proper 🐍 behaviour, babe

Jimmy: Oi, hun, what you chucking that if at us for?

Janis: ‘cos be nice or I’ll 😭 and you’ll see what it’d be like having her about

Jimmy: not got a dementia diagnosis neither, I reckon I can remember what having her about were like, tah

Janis: not like you had me about

Jimmy: I had nobody about like I had you

Janis: nah, not yet

Jimmy: ?

Janis: it’s just gonna be

Janis: I’m trying to prepare myself for it but

Jimmy: Prepare yourself for what, you heard, nobody’ll take your place

Jimmy: I’ll never have none of that again, not the same

Janis: keep me special and I’ll keep you, I don’t care how sad that makes me sound

Jimmy: I only care how sad it makes me to have to past tense it

Janis: I hate myself but I know that don’t make you feel no better

Jimmy: It makes us feel worse, stop it before I have to really emotionally blackmail you

Janis: any time, mate, any time

Jimmy: doubt it’ll be what the doctor orders, you’re best to listen and leave it out

Janis: leave you alone, I know

Jimmy: Don’t hate yourself for my sake when I don’t hate you

Janis: it’s mine too, you’re alright

Janis: in one life I’d really have loved if I’d not fucked everything up and could have kept hold of you, you know

Jimmy: We only get one, mate

Janis: not according to my mother but as per, perhaps she’s talking total shit

Janis: be too good to be true, that

Jimmy: Yeah, that it would

Janis: I wish I could keep you happy, I really do

Jimmy: I false advertised it, far as jobs go

Janis: I stopped trying too

Janis: you deserve someone who won’t

Jimmy: So do you

Janis: fuck’s sake

Jimmy: A pisstake, I know

Janis: I can’t stop wanting it, I don’t know how

Jimmy: Wrong person to ask, me

Janis: maybe it’s okay, or we can tell ourselves it is

Jimmy: All it needs be is more okay than the alternative

Janis: and if it isn’t for you, you tell me to fuck off, I don’t care how much it hurts me, promise

Jimmy: I can promise you I’ll not say that, hand on heart

Janis: you’re so

Janis: but I love you

Jimmy: the dickhead I am, like it or not

Janis: you heard I do

Janis: doctor’ll teach you to stand it yourself, or some top notch pills will

Jimmy: There’s my ‘win’ then, all the artificial sunshine I can hack

Janis: might be fun, chemical holiday

Jimmy: no worse than the ones I went on as a kid, can’t be

Janis: say that’s practically a given, babe

Jimmy: Alright, near forgot you were a pill expert ‘cause of it being the family trade once upon a time

Janis: my mothers wonderful choice in men

Janis: only a 🤏 jealous they wouldn’t put me on shit right now

Jimmy: Where you’re wrong, all sorts of happy pills are safe to crack on with, barely cause any weird defects or owt

Janis: 🥳 [the dates you suggested]

Janis: safer, though

Jimmy: Do what I can to let the sun in for you

Janis: not afraid of the dark, it’s okay

Jimmy: Just getting your hair wet

Jimmy: hang on, Grace again, that one

Janis: ain’t even hers, make it make sense

Jimmy: gotta show some respect for the animal that died

Janis: 🦡🙌

Jimmy: RIP

Janis: I missed you

Jimmy: I’ve missed you an’ all

Janis: should I ask you how works been, is that a thing mates do, educate me

Jimmy: I’ve only got the one other and he does nowt of the sort

Jimmy: don’t reckon he knows the job I do

Janis: not convinced he remembers his own half the time so sounds about right

Jimmy: can’t say I right blame him, his ain’t rock star like he were after and nor’s mine as ‘fun’ as all that

Janis: could tell him that you get to photograph fit girls all day, he’d be impressed by that

Jimmy: No need to impress him, not in the market for a boyfriend yet

Janis: well, it upsets me less than Grace does as a contender but that’s purely ‘cos I could fantasize about that and not feel dead bad

Jimmy: ready to go from well back in the day, that fantasy of yours, don’t let us stop you

Janis: I’m behaving, honest

Jimmy: You heard, up to you how you want to

Jimmy: whatever gets your broken clock going, ain’t that the saying?

Janis: not at your expense

Janis: or Pete’s, though slightly less relevant as it wouldn’t be the first thing I brought up if I saw him down Tescos

Jimmy: Nor him these days, I don’t doubt

Janis: yeah, another one who’d have all the bad words to say

Jimmy: can get in the queue behind us if you like, he’ll have enough to say he never heard all that bollocks off me before every other dickhead’s told him

Janis: why would you wanna talk about that, like it’s good news

Janis: he’ll understand, remember that girlfriend he had [when you were an age who was clearly just the worst and made him look a fool]

Jimmy: I’m not bothered if he don’t, I ain’t got it in us to keep on trying to make other dickheads understand things

Janis: 😍

Janis: you seen the doctor without us

Jimmy: Soon I will do

Janis: I understand, you know

Janis: you don’t have to tell me nothing twice, though you reckon I never listen in the first place

Jimmy: Wouldn’t say never, you have your moments

Janis: but I ask nicely, got to admit

Jimmy: so nice, you

Janis: oi, be sincere about what a delight I am, dickhead

Jimmy: I am, never could read a room, that there’s a never for you

Janis: fucking hell, make me sound like I’m special in a bad way

Janis: I’ll be paranoid

Jimmy: made yourself sound it, nowt to do with us, I said you were nice, no truer word for when I saw you the other day

Janis: if I called you nice, you’d say it was 🙂 equivalent

Jimmy: What do you want me to call you then?

Janis: that’d be telling

Jimmy: right, tell us

Janis: I can’t, just gonna have to be nicer this time you see me ‘til you think of it yourself

Jimmy: Back to being fit and mysterious for old time’s sake, are you?

Jimmy: alright

Janis: if you tell me I’m too old for it I will have to fight you

Jimmy: you can still get yourself into it, like your [an item of clothing she still has]

Janis: Libi said I was too old to be a model, that’s a tenner out the card for her

Janis: and she won’t be borrowing [said item of clothing]

Jimmy: She would, age to be discovered now, her

Jimmy: you’re sod all but competition, be costing her loads more than that tenner an’ all

Janis: see, never a nonce, you

Jimmy: Tah, ‘cause see, I can read how sincere that were

Janis: okay, okay, I believe you

Janis: you’re misguided and you think I’m proper nice

Janis: thank you

Jimmy: Brainwashed our kid called it

Janis: ouch, like

Jimmy: I said, he’s been the delight, never mind you reckoning you’re the nightmare one or owt else but nice

Janis: can’t even be impressed

Janis: wanna talk about one of ‘em coming for my gigs, cheek of it

Jimmy: can’t be bothered, it’s nice to chat to someone who don’t fancy treating us like I’ve got battered missus syndrome off you

Janis: say what you like about the shit he might’ve seen, he hasn’t seen a divorce or nowt of the sort

Janis: he doesn’t know how anything like that goes, that most the time you still love each other and that you don’t hate each other’s guts like the films

Jimmy: How many films they’ve both seen is half the trouble, I should’ve let him have a bit more real life experience

Janis: get ready

Janis: could’ve gone my life without seeing Libi dancing on some spotty little twat but there we go

Jimmy: SO nice of you to remind us of all that

Jimmy: she’s not seen him since sobering up, has she?

Janis: She could barely seem interested drunk, I don’t think so

Janis: was very #triggering, as Gracie might say

Jimmy: Fuck’s sake, between the pair of them, I’ve a headache

Janis: on the plus side, you’ll look very sexy with grey hair

Janis: but I know, I just wish I could help you out more with Bobby so it was properly equal how it should be

Jimmy: I’ll have the compliment as you never noticed my accidental poetry up there, even making us rhyme again now, they are

Janis: if that don’t sum it up, unrecognised genius, you

Jimmy: Piss poor and unloved in my one bloody lifetime 🎻

Janis: 💔

Jimmy: divorce’ll have the first one true any road

Janis: nah, fuck that

Janis: let’s just let it fucking, default, I dunno

Janis: if you reckon I owe you something, come get it

Jimmy: I don’t want nowt like that off you

Janis: weren’t why I married you, be a shite financial decision, respectfully

Jimmy: None taken for the second time, like

Janis: I’ve told you, I don’t want a thing off you you can’t afford to give, I swear

Janis: you aren’t gonna wake up to no letter saying nowt different, never

Jimmy: Nor you, solicitor’s an even worse financial decision

Janis: so unless you fancy one and you wanna make her your 2nd wife, let’s not, yeah

Jimmy: Okay

Janis: okay

Jimmy: Keep us posted about the dog though, when you know what you’re doing with all that, don’t hate the idea of ALL letters

Janis: 💌

Janis: I will

Jimmy: In a bit then?

Janis: yeah, I’m talking your ear off again

Janis: I’m such a mess these days, I can’t work out if I’ll be telling you about the dog first or seeing you for another lunch date but, whichever one, I’m excited to see you again

Jimmy: I started it

Jimmy: I like talking to you

Jimmy: and seeing you

Janis: we don’t have to stop

Janis: I like it as much

Janis: just trying to find the messages with the dog lady, now she is fucking chatty

Jimmy: Rather you than me, poor Libs wouldn’t end up with no dog ‘cause I’d put the lady right off

Janis: ‘cos middle-aged women are the worst preds, never safe, poor boy 😤

Jimmy: leave it out telling her I’m single when you pop up

Janis: she wishes it were a swap

Janis: not happening, Helen

Jimmy: Can see Case in his element

Janis: just handles the wannabe MILFs different, suppose

Jimmy: and if that ain’t #triggering, what is?

Janis: I felt the instant regret

Jimmy: I wish you had of

Janis: it wouldn’t have changed things for us

Jimmy: Depends on the us, me and him it would’ve

Janis: true

Jimmy: Too late now, we’ve both said it before

Janis: I said I’d go, if it meant you two would fix things

Jimmy: It wouldn’t, you might as well stay

Janis: be a pisstake to everyone if I left

Jimmy: It’s your one life

Janis: other people are involved though, we’re both old enough to admit it’s messier than all that

Jimmy: But it’s also been done, there’s no going back and undoing it for nobody that’s involved

Jimmy: they’ll live, we all have to

Janis: I know that

Jimmy: have to get back behind us in that queue if they fancy that, no dickhead does more than me, but there’s no fix, trust us, I’ve had a look everywhere

Janis: I don’t want to go, I would if it would work but it won’t, sorry to Bobs on that one

Jimmy: His brain ain’t done developing, what I’ve heard

Janis: even we’ve got a few months to go, fucking hell, like

Jimmy: 🤞 that’s what 100% cures us, be nice

Janis: but

Janis: fine 🎂

Jimmy: ?

Janis: well, I will miss your underdeveloped brain when it’s gone, that’s all

Jimmy: Stick in a jar for you 🎂

Jimmy: nhs must still do lobotomies, they worked SO well

Janis: just put us in matching jars and call it a day

Jimmy: you’ve forfeited his and hers, have to be some bollocks BFF jars

Janis: think of a decent caption or I’m tipping you out, dickhead

Jimmy: plan all along, that

Jimmy: bit of peace and quiet down the drain

Janis: some BFF

Jimmy: Never said I were good at it, ask Pete

Janis: I doubt he’s got it in him to slag me off like I need to hear

Jimmy: People can surprise you, I’d be the dickhead to know, these days

Janis: never say never, eh

Jimmy: more of a jumpscare but still, no need for the other huns to take down their toilet signs saying the like of what I just did do

Janis: get it, you’re gonna put all your energy into home decor

Janis: let the glitter and crushed velvet shine now this dickhead’s out the way

Jimmy: Be a pisstake to let Libi or her dog sleep in the spare room as is

Janis: do you want to stay there?

Jimmy: At the minute I’ve got no choice in it either way, every dickhead goes on about how stressful moving is at the best of times

Jimmy: you don’t need telling

Janis: not wrong, if it’s a thing that’s stable and you need that, don’t blame you

Janis: least I know enough cunts ‘round here to fall on my feet, it was alright, no need for sympathy

Jimmy: You don’t like it if there’s a need or there’s not

Janis: I’m the last person who deserves it, always

Janis: and you’re the one person who don’t owe me none about this entire situation

Jimmy: if you say so, Janis

Janis: why are you pretending to know my name now

Jimmy: I do know it, and you

Janis: you just don’t know how to hate me

Jimmy: Make me sound special needs now

Jimmy: I’m fed up of every dickhead telling me what I should or shouldn’t do

Janis: I didn’t tell you to, not today

Janis: I might’ve before, some of it I forget when it was really bad

Jimmy: Hating you don’t make no difference, I’ll still love you

Janis: I’ll never learn how to stop loving you, that’s a never

Jimmy: The hate I’ve got for my dad never got me nowhere, not far enough to be worth owt

Janis: yeah

Janis: so, don’t, tell every dickhead to fuck off

Jimmy: Like a spam NYE text @ this whole town

Janis: exactly

Janis: fuck this town, they’ve always got plenty to talk about and it never mattered as much as what we wanted to do and what we felt

Janis: won’t tell you I support you no matter what again but

Jimmy: It’s mostly about your relatives, tell Gracie she’s due another jilting at the altar or pregnancy scare

Janis: on it

Janis: half the rumours or shit they reckon they know is probably shit they’ve said before, don’t matter to them what’s true, only how it looks

Jimmy: We’ve used it to our advantage before, might as well keep on

Janis: look, we all know I’m not above making up some salacious bullshit about my own blood

Janis: I’ll do it for you, no joke

Jimmy: I don’t care, I’m not a school kid no more, and what bollocks goes round the office already goes over my head, there to work not make no new mates

Janis: cross your heart?

Jimmy: It’s them pair I’m worried about, not myself

Janis: what should we do?

Jimmy: Nowt we can, neither of us have time to homeschool ‘em

Jimmy: have to just 🤞 they hack it alright, whatever they hear, least Libi’s used to it, and he’s deaf, all that’ll help 🤏

Janis: They both know the truth, and what they reckon about it

Janis: nothing no random can say that is worse than all that, that’s always been how it goes, trust us

Jimmy: yeah, exactly

Janis: if he needs a punching bag, I’m serious about it

Janis: he’s angry at me, let him be, yeah, it’ll be better for you both

Jimmy: I’m not suggesting he uses you as one, let him go down gym for an actual like the rest of us have done

Janis: said you know me, when have I ever stood there and taken it?

Janis: fuck fighting a losing battle, all I’m saying, he don’t like me, he don’t like Libi at the minute, is what it is

Jimmy: fuck fighting full stop, us lot at each other’s throats is total bollocks

Janis: he isn’t there yet

Janis: you and me, we’ve had more life experience, we’re supposed to be adults, allegedly

Janis: if you try and rush him into being matey with her or anything, he’ll kick back on it and you

Jimmy: Alright, but that don’t mean I’m giving him a free pass to say what the fuck he wants to you or to her, if it goes on when I ain’t there, sod all I can do, but I’m not chucking him my permission and saying off you go, slide into their DMs and be a twat

Janis: Okay, I see your point

Janis: not a good example for you to set

Jimmy: I’ve worked myself half to death for years to avoid that being the example he has, might as well pack his bags myself and send him to Ian’s

Janis: he’d come running back faster than his legs could carry him

Janis: but no, I know you’re not gonna do that either, nor should you, not that much of a hard cow

Jimmy: A losing battle’s how it feels, all of it

Jimmy: being up, dressed, going to meetings, coming home to cook tea, on and on the list could go

Janis: because he’s throwing it back in your face right now

Janis: that’s why we’ve gotta find shit outside of him for you to care about, for yourself

Janis: because whether he’s being a normal teenager or being a little bastard, you can’t rely on him for anything more

Jimmy: I’ll care about the dog, I said

Janis: okay, the dog

Janis: I’m gonna go get it

Jimmy: Now?

Janis: yeah, fuck it

Jimmy: You’re

Janis: it’s important

Janis: and he’ll love it whatever he says, he’s not a psychopath

Jimmy: I love you whatever he says

Jimmy: How could I not?

Janis: I love you

Jimmy: [tell her about whatever dog food or supplies you have, waiting hidden somewhere like your car boot or whatever so Bobby doesn’t know, because he meant what he said about actually taking care of Peach and it’s clearly given him something to do already]

Janis: [likewise tell him about whatever stuff the lady said she’s got like sometimes they have blankets or a toy etc to get comfortable and what things you’ll pick up that he hasn’t got yet]

Jimmy: It’s a plan

Janis: 😁

Janis: she’s so cute

Jimmy: She’ll do for a start as something to bother about

Janis: who could say no to that face

Jimmy: Even your nan would have a job, I reckon

Janis: sucker for a stray

Jimmy: here I had ideas what me and her had were special, turns out she’s everybody’s with a massive enough sob story

Janis: didn’t hear that from me

Janis: proper desperate vibes, me slagging off everyone you fancy

Jimmy: Your right as my ex, that

Janis: you’re right though, definitely the least I can do is be the actual psycho ex no boy has ever had

Janis: I’ll go for it, give it my all

Jimmy: Speak for yourself, I’ll be 2 for 2 if you’re gonna act crazy an’ all

Janis: Psh, I’d do a better job at it than that

Jimmy: I’d rather you didn’t, bit of a rep for us to have

Janis: an amazing one, made us go mental losing you

Jimmy: or being with us did

Janis: got to learn how to spin it, see

Janis: and you know you’ve just got questionable taste, actually but no one needs to hear that

Jimmy: questionable actions, there’s nowt wrong with my taste on it’s own

Janis: it’s alright, I’m good looking, put up with more for less, people have

Jimmy: True enough

Janis: not even gonna call me a bighead?

Janis: must be excited

Jimmy: Saves us having to chuck you a compliment you won’t take

Janis: convenient

Jimmy: Very

Janis: you’re

Janis: too

Jimmy: What?

Janis: ?

Jimmy: I’m too? Excited? Nice? Tired? What?

Janis: no, you said I’m-

Janis: you are too, though if you meant I’m well smart, I might have to take it back

Jimmy: I meant you’re as much of all of it as you ever were

Janis: then you can keep it too

Jimmy: Feels fake, but alright

Janis: I know how it feels but

Jimmy: Yeah, that but’s important, I know

Janis: it’s all I’ve got

Jimmy: I know how it feels, no but this time

Janis: all we need is a little right now 🤏 will do

Jimmy: Both of us are clinging to 3 letter words, but for you and dog for me, ghost of Bill would be chuffed to bits by that

Janis: is a bit babies first word, init

Jimmy: could be worse, least I’m trying for mine not being you, as I’ve been there, done that, for dear life already

Janis: yeah

Jimmy: definition of insanity and all that, letting it repeat

Janis: so I’ve heard

Jimmy: there you go then

Janis: I know what you’re saying

Jimmy: easy spellings, even if I weren’t calling you smart a bit ago, you’re not thick

Janis: its enough, isn’t it

Jimmy: You tell us, is it?

Janis: no, you tell me

Jimmy: Tell you what?

Janis: it can wait, it’s alright

Jimmy: What kind of answer is that?

Janis: I just realised we don’t need to have this conversation now

Janis: we’ve got something good to focus on

Jimmy: Alright

Janis: it’s nothing like, I dunno, I want this to be about you and the dog and just good shit

Jimmy: You say that like my head won’t make it into something

Janis: yeah… fuck it number two then

Janis: you don’t want to hook up again, do you? That’s what’s enough

Jimmy: I don’t know

Janis: okay, that’s an alright answer

Jimmy: I want to same as I’d have you back like a shot if you’d just come home

Jimmy: I know it don’t mean it’s a good idea

Janis: I just feel like I’ve pushed you or something

Jimmy: I’ve been forced into all sorts, that isn’t on the list

Janis: good

Janis: just, if you’re ever sure, let me know?

1 note · View note

skylesbian · 2 years

Text

im gonna write everything down because i need to remember this entire day forever!!

first of all, i’ve already said this but @louis-in-red is literally the loveliest and kindest person and i LOVED sharing this experience with her 🥺 so thankful i got to meet her! definitely wouldn’t have been the same without her

okay so we got campo delantero (ga) but we got there like 2 hours before doors opened kdhdkd i was a little worried there wouldnt be more merch, but i could buy in uruguay if that was the case. but we got there and they still had peach hoodies so we were queuing and we started hearing screams and people started running so obviously we didn’t question it and started running too ksjshsjs

so we got to the main entrance and there he was...... oli 💀 he was wearing a white shirt and sunglasses and oh my..... he is fit! so hot jshsjs and he walks like louis, at first i couldnt see his face because of a tree and i thought it was louis for a moment and almost died 😭 but that was somehow the only moment that felt real during the entire day, i was like HOLY SHIT THATS OLI

so then we got the merch, took some pics, we met @lou1e and talked to her for a few minutes and she’s so nice and sweet 🥺 it was so lovely meeting her ❤️

after a while we went to get some food and went to the bathroom and we were like just gonna wait everyone gets in, so we just sat to wait and the queue never stopped 😭 so we started walking opposite to the queue to join the end and it continued around the corner like it literally never ended, and at one point we finally got to join the queue. we got in (i went to the bathroom again - for like the 15th time that day.... uruguayan things, you wouldn’t get it 🧉) and the crowd didnt seem that big, so we went to the back in the middle and the stage wasnt that far!

paz carrara was singing and she was LOVELY she was so emotional, she thanked us so many times and said louies were the best, she’s a sweetheart and i love her 🥺

and then the chaos started.... we saw two paramedics take an unconscious person out and after that i lost count of how many people were taken out, or had to leave. people walked out of the crowd wet from head to toe and they were pale and about to faint and throwing up. we helped a few fans, but there were so many during the entire time sunroom was on stage, i couldnt even listen to one song properly. hope they enjoyed anyways 😭 the staff was throwing water on the front (like actually wetting them) and handing plastic glasses of water. and i was getting so anxious, i was scared to have an anxiety attack because watching that happen live a few times was bad, but being there, with sooo many young people getting sick was a bit terrifying ngl. it was too hot and people were pushing too much.

louis started late because they were trying to make the crowd take a step back and when they finally did and louis showed up, everything worked out!!! it was still too hot but people respected the space a little better.

i was so nervous and freaking out a little the minutes before it started, but then we made it started and life stopped being real. like when i say i had an out of the body experience.... i didnt feel like i was there. i think it took me a few songs to be like, okay this is louis, im here, this is happening. and even then it didnt feel as real as when i saw oli KDHDKD i don’t know how to explain it, maybe he’s just so perfect my basic human brain can’t comprehend HE’S FUCKING REAL.

i have so many blanks but the things i DO remember:

we didnt know there was a platform, and between people getting out of the front of the crowd and joining the back, and the few steps back we took, we didn’t seem that close anymore. like we could still see him clearly (when people weren’t raising all their phones at once 🥲) but it was fared away than initially. BUT THEN at one point he starts walking our way, reaches the end of the stage and keeps walking, and KEEPS WALKING, AND HE WAS SO FUCKING CLOSE WTF!!! WE SCREAMED SO MUCH 😭😭😭

i think fearless was the song i enjoyed the most live which isn’t exactly a surprise because i love it, but its SO GOOD LIVE it was amazing. always you was also one of my top songs of the night and the lights during beautiful war were sooooo pretty!!!! really feels like being in the middle of a thousand stars (or more like fifteen thousand stars 😌)

he’s voice????? is so????? fucking flawless??????? i have always loved listening to him during performances/live shows/etc, i always thought he sings even better live. but HOLY SHIT i was not prepared for it to be EVEN BETTER??? he blew my fucking mind. HE’S SO TALENTED!!! HES WORKED SO HARD ON HIS VOCALS AND ITS PAYING OFF AMAZINGLY, HES SO WONDERFUL!!!!

singing his songs back to him was so good 🥺 i was really looking forward to sing YOU WERE MY BECAUSE at him but that moment is also blank 💀 buuut i do remember thinking “oh he got it right” in the first verse KDHDJS

when he went to the barricade during kmm everyone pushed closer and he raised his arm and i saw all his tattoos, and everyone who knows me knows how obsessed i am with that arm so it was a pretty special moment to see them so close 😭

oh before ttd i was like “the pic????” so ttd ended and people were chanting for perfect now (except for me and steph, we were chanting for just hold on skhdks) and steph yelled “the photo!!” and he immediately said lets take a photo, so we choose to ✨believe✨ that he heard her. they are practically besties now 😌

also my throat still hurts so much because we screamed the entire time 😭 kshsks

and the funniest part of the night was that getting back to the hotel, our taxi driver was a bald man in his 50s who was a harrie, but we made him a louie (he said louis has a better voice and sings better 💀) but thats a story for another day 😁

#hehe this is too long and i dont expect anyone to read it but i needed to write it down 😭#CANT BELIEVE I WILL SEE HIM AGAIN IN TWO DAYS #hope this time it actually sinks that im seeing HIM 😭😭😭#ltxt

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fruitcoops · 3 years

Note

So this is sort of similar to the people writing fanfic about the lions but can you imagine the YouTube edits? Like the videos that are just "Cap having heart eyes for Loops for 10 minutes straight" or "Loops lovingly dragging Caps name through the mud for 3 minutes" like those kinds of things and I can just imagine them doing reaction videos and it just being funny and the world just loving coops

Okay so this wasn't a specific fic request but I got carried away with imagining videos and....here you go. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Grace and Anna are mine! Bonus points to anyone who remembers the easter egg in this one!

Message From: Gracie

ANNA HOLY SHIT

Anna frowned at her phone screen, squinting to read around the spiderweb crack decorating the upper corner. She had tried to convince herself that it was cool, goth, edgy, but in the end she had to admit that it was just irritating. In a tragic turn of events, packing tape couldn’t fix everything.

Message To: Gracie

Wtf did I do

Two weeks of radio silence, then unexplained accusations. Anna shook her head as the grey bubble disappeared for a third time and turned back to her computer. Grace may have been her favorite cousin—and favorite person, if she was being honest—but very few things came between Anna and video editing. Especially editing for a Lions meme video. She had a whole 2,341 followers to attend to, after all.

Message From: Gracie

DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING INTERVIEW???

Message To: Gracie

Wow thank you so helpful

Message From: Gracie

Skip to 2:45 bestie

A link popped up just as Anna cut a segment from the sleep study video, where Loops’ heart eyes were in full effect. It was a rare, precious find for fan editors like herself.

“Come on,” she groaned. Maybe introducing Grace to the deepest parts of her hockey obsession was a mistake. But, really, what else was she supposed to do when she learned her cousin, who didn’t even live in Gryffindor, got to meet her favorite players just by chilling in a café? What kind of cosmic joke was that?

She narrowed her eyes at the embed of the link, then stifled a shriek. Impossible. How had she missed an upload?

As if on cue, her computer pinged with a new notification from the Lion Pride channel. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered, scrambling to save her half-done video and pressing play.

The interviewer asked basic questions, ones she had heard the answers to a million times while curating her content. It always felt funny to hear people refer to Cap as ‘Sirius’—it was too official, too formal. She had spent countless hours on the compilations of his softer moments, and they were her most popular videos. Cap Having Heart Eyes for Loops for 10 Minutes Gay. Cap Being an Actual Puppy for Six and a Half Minutes. Everyone Wanting Cap Cuddles for Fifteen Minutes. Every Time Cap Smiles When Someone Mentions His Godson. The list was endless. She loved it.

She did a silent fist pump when she saw the interviewer had snagged both Cap and Loops; that would give her a whole new stream of workable content. If she was lucky, she could expand on her series of Loops Lovingly Roasting His Friends, part…fuck it, who was even counting anymore?

Anna was so caught up in her excitement that she nearly forgot about Grace’s suggestion. I’ve never skipped through a video on the first watch before, she thought hesitantly. But maybe just this once…

Her cursor hovered over the 2:45mark. She closed her eyes, and clicked it.

“—have you been adjusting to life as a celebrity?” the interviewer asked. Anna nearly rolled her eyes when Loops laughed. That question had been used far too often to be interesting anymore.

“It’s had its ups and downs,” Loops said with a smile. “Mostly, though, the fans have been incredible and just knocked my socks off with their support.”

“Really? What’s your favorite part of the Lions fanbase?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Their creativity, for sure. There was a video a while back where we reacted to some of the comments people left, and this person on Twitter made an absolutely beautiful collage of photos.”

“I have it saved to my phone,” Sirius added.

One more clip for the simp video. Anna made a note on the small corner space of her European History notes. The degree can wait for ten more minutes.

“Do you have a favorite creator?”

The interviewer was clearly teasing, but Loops’ smile was genuine. “I don’t know about a favorite, but there’s this person on YouTube who makes a shit ton of videos and they’re hysterical. I saw one the other day about—god, what was it again?”

“Every time I smile when people mention Harry,” Sirius answered around a laugh. “Can you blame me?”

Anna didn’t hear the next question. A ringing noise filled her ears as she sat, frozen, on her shitty dorm mattress and listened to her literal heroes talk about her dorky little channel. “Holy fuck,” she blurted after a moment of silence. “Holy fuck.”

“—subscribed?” The man’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“Of course I am!” Loops said. “You think I’m passing up a chance to watch a compilation of my friends making stupid decisions for the entire internet to see?”

A noise that would have been a shriek if Anna had any breath left in her body escaped her lungs; she clamped a hand over her mouth and shakily exited from the video before going to her YouTube account. 800 new notifications. 700 new followers in the last quarter hour. She was pretty sure she blacked out for a second from sheer shock and joy.

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

You’re famous!

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

I bet he knows your stuff better than he remembers me tbh

“They know me,” she whispered, staring at her computer. The unfinished video showed a perfect frame of Loops’ soft smile as he watched Cap get his toothbrush stuck in his pajama shirt. Somehow, the thought was both exhilarating and horrifying. What if they thought she was a creep? She wasn’t, not really, just a bored college student with not enough free time for a job but too much to keep herself busy with schoolwork. Her 2,341—no, 3,052—followers were just other hockey nerds looking for time to kill.

And the subject of those videos was one of her subscribers.

Anna slipped her headphones back on and began to edit like it was her last day on earth. Her fingers flew across the keyboard on muscle memory while her brain fizzed. Perfect, she thought. It has to be perfect.

In four hours, it was done. She sat back, panting, then hunched over again and began tapping out a title card.

Hello. Idk if anyone saw the new Lion Pride video today (linked below if anyone wants to see why I’m dying right now) but apparently Remus Lupin is subscribed to this channel and has been for a while.

Hi Loops. I’m Anna. You met my cousin once and she said she liked your sweater.

Now that that’s out of the way, please enjoy the next five minutes of our new rookie being the sappiest mf in existence (except for his fiancé). Mr. Lupin, please tell Hattie I say hello.

She pressed upload, peeled her headphones off, and collapsed backward on her bed.

Message To: Gracie

If I die here, tell the world I did it doing what I loved

Message From: Gracie

Will do

OH FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE SWEATER I SOUND LIKE A CREEP

Anna covered her itchy eyes with her forearm and settled in for a long, long nap. Her brain still needed to repair a few circuits.

#remus lupin #sirius black #coops #anna #grace #sweater weather #lumosinlove #my fic #fanfic #ocs #hattie #lion pride

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sunookkii · 3 years

Note

hii can i get an E2L with jake please <3

YESSS!! Thank you so much for requesting,, I really hope you like it 😋

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

Jake Sim x Reader

Genre : enemies to lovers

Warnings : some swear words here and there.. a little scene where main character almost gets assaulted at night

Word Count : 2.4K

Requested : yess <3

(Warning : It kind of sucks, I’m not really sure if this is e2l PLEASE I TRIED MY BEST ANYWAYS)

❀ You and Jake were enemies since birth, you two supposedly hated each other’s guts since diapers. It didn’t help that your parents were really good childhood friends and would always hang out together forcing you and Jake to try and get along. Though it didn’t work.. Jake would always picked on you, weather it was calling you stupid nicknames, tripping you making you fall and land on your face or bothering you every time he had a chance. You were always his main target. To him your reaction to his mean jokes were always so entertaining. You absolutely hated him, how cocky he was, how annoying he was, how handsome, charming he was, and how he was always better than you at everything. And the list goes on.

“I hate history why do we even need to learn it” you thought to yourself. Tapping your pencil back and forth not paying attention to the lesson that was taught on the board. Out of no where you feel pieces of paper being thrown at you from behind,,,, it was from Jake. You thought that he would stop throwing pieces of paper at you after awhile but oh you were wrong. Jake laughing silently to himself thought he was sooo funny. He kept throwing pieces of paper at you until you finally had enough, you turned your body facing him and started giving him a whole lecture forgetting that there was a lesson being taught right at this very moment.

“JAKE CAN YOU STOP, YOU’RE BEING SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND IMMATURE!”

You yelled at him a bit too loud causing the teacher to hear,,”Ms. l/n and Mr. Sim OFFICE NOW!”

You groaned at your teachers words, this is all Jakes fault, if he hadn’t bothered you, you two wouldn’t have been in trouble. At this point all the teachers knew you weren’t really fond of Jake, because every week you two would always be in detention together after school.

J: “This is your fault” you turn around to look at Jake, furious, body filled with hatred and anger

Y/n: “ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU WERE THE ONE THROWING PAPER AT ME, (you breathe in and out trying to calm yourself down) if you hadn’t thrown those stupid pieces of paper i could’ve been at home right now.”

J: “woah woah calm down..” he said, that didn’t help one bit

You decided to ignore him this once because there really is no winning when arguing with him. You two finally arrive at the principals office waiting for yet again another detention slip.

P: “I heard that there was a bit of a ruckus, during history class? Care to explain why you used such vulgar language during school?”

Y/n: “it wasn’t my fault sir, Jake was bothering me and wouldn’t stop.”

P: “Mr. Sim is that true?”

J: “no sir I was simply minding my own business, until she started yelling at me for no reason.” He lied through his teeth,

Y/n: “SIR HE’S LYING” you pointed at the boy smirking at you knowing what he just did.

P: “well it seems to me that there’s a little bit of a problem and someone is lying. Whoever is telling the truth can be excused from detention”

J and y/n : “sir I’M telling the truth”

P: “Well since no one is stepping up I guess I’ll have to put both of you into detention, here is the detention slip for both of you. Remember after school until 5, if you miss it you’ll get detention for the whole week. Got it?!

Y/n: “*sigh, yes sir”

———

Y/n’s POV :

The bell rung indicating that school was over, well not for me at least. I still have to show up for detention since well you know... I arrived at the detention room that read room 206. Walking towards an empty desk, I sat on it and lied my head down.

J: “so how was your dayy :)” knowing that this was all his fault he had the audacity to ask me how my day was??

Y/n: “shut up.”

J: “ooh someone’s grumpy cuz they got detention” he laughs annoyingly at me.

Y/n: “you’re in detention too idiot.”

J: “at least I’m not alone stupid” he rolls his eyes moving away and pushing back his dark brown fluffy hair,,

Why was that kind of attractive? Wtf why am I thinking like that get out of my head!

———

❀ The bell finally rung and we were dismissed, it felt like ages~

Walking towards the the exit I see myself accidentally walking besides Jake. I quickly realized and distanced myself, the sky outside was pitch black. Forgetting that I’m terrified of the dark I quickly walk home by myself so I don’t have to be outside any longer. As I was walking towards the direction of my house I sense someone following me, my pace got faster as I was scared what could happen this late at night. I ran quicker and quicker then all of a sudden I feel someone grabbing my wrist hugging me pushing me towards the corner of a house. I try and let out a loud scream right before they cover my mouth with their hand. I open my eyes only to see Jake.

J: “boo!”

I push him off, why is he holding me in his arms like that?

Y/n: “wtf Jake! Why are you following me?” I said kind of mad that he scared me thinking I was being followed.

J: “some guy was following you when you left school and I didn’t want anything to happen to you so I kinda followed you home..”

Y/n: “oh well you can go now... I don’t need your help..” feeling a little bit awkward that he kind of cared..

J: “are you stupid or something?” He said angrily “you should take better care of yourself! The man could’ve done something to you if I hadn’t been there!”

I had no words to say, how could someone I hate so much care for me? I guess he isn’t bad after all.. but my stubborn self obviously had to snap back,

Y/n: “IDC I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOU TO FOLLOW ME, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE IF I GET HURT OR NOT!”

J: “I DON’T, YOU KNOW WHAT! WALK HOME BY YOURSELF”

Y/n: “YOU KNOW WHAT, I WILL!”

❀ ❀ ❀

I’m not gonna lie to you I kind of regret saying that to him, it’s not really fun walking home alone when it’s pitch black outside. It was all silent walking home untill I heard something walking towards me, I assumed it was Jake so I turned around getting ready to yell at him, but to my luck it was a random man who came walking up towards me, he came over touching my waist giving me a creepy look, making me feel uncomfortable.

Stranger: “hey baby girl you look beautiful tonight, you want to come over to my house? We can have lots of fun” He winks creepily at me. Does he not know I’m a minor?? Gross.

Y/n: “get away from me!” I tell him as I walk faster pushing him off of me, he quickly grabbed my wrist and started touching me “you’re not going anywhere!”

I start to panic, not knowing what to do, I wish Jake was here I thought to myself as I’m about to cry feeling hopeless not knowing what I could do. Suddenly I hear something running towards me, a tall figure with dark brown hair, is it Jake? The familiar figure punched the creepy man leading him to fall on the ground groaning. He grabed my wrist “lets run!” He held my hand tight as we were running, his hand was soft and fit perfectly in mine.

J: “are you okay” he looks at my scared face holding my cheeks in his palms. I nod feeling a hard lump in my throat as I soon burst out crying tears. “It’s okay, it’s okay I’m here you don’t have to be scared anymore” he held me tight in his arms. Embracing me, his arms and chest were so warm something I really needed. Never in a million years did I think I’d be hugging my enemy like this. I continue crying in his chest as he strokes my hair in reassurance that I’m safe. “Y/n you’re so stupid, you could’ve gotten seriously hurt.”

y/n: “I’m sorry” I continue crying

———

He walked me home safely still holding my hand, I look at him weirdly looking at him then looking back at our intertwined hands.

J: “oh right.. sorry”

Y/n: “how did you know I was in danger?”

J: “oh well it’s kind of silly actually, I was mad at you so I decided to do a mean prank to get you scared, but then that’s when I heard you scream so I ran up to you”

Y/n: “oh, well thanks for helping me I guess...” I said looking down at my fingers feeling ashamed.

J: “uhm anyways I’m gonna go home now.. gn loser” he said before he ran off putting his hood back on.

“Goodnight” I whisper, thankful that jake was there with me that night.

———

❀ The next day of school I went to my assigned seat which was in front of Jake. Then suddenly a non familiar boy comes inside the class, was he new?

T: “Class! Listen up.. we have a new student attending our school, and I would like for you to pay attention as he’s about to introduce himself.”

S: “Hi! My name is Sunoo Kim! Please take good care of me :)”

Who’s this new guys Sunoo he’s kind of cute....

T: “Sunoo you can sit next to y/n over there, y/n please raise up your hand so he knows who you are!”

S: “Hi!”

Y/n: “Hi I’m y/n, and your Sunoo right?”

S: “yess.”

The cute boy gave me a cute cheeky smile, I could tell we’ll become good friends. Class was over and it was time for lunch, I could tell that Sunoo didn’t have much friends since he’s new, so I asked him to have lunch with me. Sunoo and I talked about everything! It felt like we knew each other for so long, as if we were best friends. Jake passed by us giving us a weird glare. That’s weird I thought, he never usually glared at me like that, well I mean we’re enemies but he usually gives me a stupid teasing smile,, hmm that’s odd maybe he’s just in a bad mood.

———

School was over and it was time to walk home,

S: “Y/n!! Let’s walk home together, where do you live?”

Y/n: “oh I live near this block,, what about you?”

S: “OH really??!! I live here too, we live close to each other, lets walk home together sometimes!”

He’s so cute, charming and extroverted, we just got to know each other but I feel like we’ve been friends forever, is that weird?

Y/n: ok!

———

❀ Many weeks have passed and me and Sunoo became really close friends! Though Jake has been acting strange lately..

School ended quickly today,, Sunoo suddenly called out my name

S: “lets wak home together today!”

Y/n: “alright su-“

As I was about to finish my sentance Jake came over and grabed my hand intertwining his into mine.

J: “ahh sorry Sunoo she can’t, y/n’s mom told me to walk her home today.”

R: “ahh ok.. bye y/n I’ll see you next week!”

Y/n: “wait but but!” I wasnt able to finish my sentance since Jake already pulled me to the opposite direction. His hands... were in mine? Why am I feeling all sorts of butterflies in my stomach.. this is new, I never felt this way towards Jake before. It was kind of quiet during the walk home until the tension was broken and Jake said something as he stopped walking.

J: “lets go to the ice cream shop, just you and me.”

Y/n: “dont we hate eachother?”

J: “just shut up and come with me.”

He grabbed my hand forcing me to follow,

Y/n: “okay but you’re paying”

We arrived at the pretty ice cream place which was bright and pretty chilly. Jake went to go order the Ice creams while I looked around since I never been here before.

J: “two chocolate ice creams please”

He’s always been so polite towards everyone but me, his fluffy dark brown hair right about his eyes. He’s so cute.. why am I feeling this way towards him? We’re supposed to hate each other but here I am falling head over heels for Jake? No it can’t be, do I have a crush on him? How did he know I liked chocolate ice cream?We sat down at the near table, the place was super cute, perfect for a date. WAIT IS THIS A DATE?

Y/n: “Jake why did you take me here?”

J: “I needed to tell you something but finish your ice cream first”

Y/n: “oh uhm ok-“

J: “AW FUCK IT I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER Y/NILIKEYOU!”

I stool there frozen like a popsicle, did my enemy Jake just confess to me, this seems crazy but I think I like him too.

Y/n: “Jake I like you too..”

J: “iknowyoumightnotlikemebecausethewayItreatedyouwhenwewerekidsbutpleasegivemeachanceisweari’ll-“

Y/n: “JAKE! I said I like you too”

J: “what- really you mean it? You like me back” it was cute seeing him nervous because of me.

Y/n: “yeah I guess you’re not so bad..” I said teasingly

His worried face quickly turned into a big smile, we quickly finished the ice cream and walked outside of the ice cream place side by side. He stoped walking and looked at me.

J: “you have something on your lips” he said pointing

Y/n: “what where” I rubbed my mouth looking for the leftover ice cream”

J: “here” he grabbed my face leaning in for a deep kiss. “There all gone!” he runs away laughing like a little kid.

Y/n: “JAKE SIM I DIDN’T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO STEAL A KISS FROM ME!” I said chasing him, I guess you could say our relationship turned into an enemies to lovers type of thing.

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burnedbyshoto · 4 years

Text

good little omega

— He was an alpha, you were an omega. Can I make it anymore obvious? He was a crime boss and you were a movie star. What more can I say? Oh, he wanted you, really wanted you, but you swore you would never, ever need an alpha.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: alpha!shigaraki tomura x omega fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, abo/omegaverse, chad alpha!shiggy, virgin celeb!reader, kidnapping, drugging, sex slave auction, biting/marking, belly bulge, knotting, sex toys, heat, implied murder (lol rip shigsters last omegas), mind break, breeding, degradation, finger fucking, fucking in front of a crowd, modern world!au

word count: 6,174

a/n: this goes out to my shiggy stans. I never understood you until recently and now I blush like a schoolgirl when I see him. mondays are so busy, are they not? ive been home for 6 hours today wtf????

kinktober day 12 main kink: abo/omegaverse | kinktober masterlist

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

You sat before the mirror, your eyes intently staring at your reflection. The people around you running around, chaotically bringing brushes and pencils to your face, the smell of chemicals in the air, tickling your overly sensitive nose.

“Are we ready?! Is Y/n ready?! I don’t think she’s ready?! We need to be out of here in five minutes, people, let’s hurry it up!”

Breaking your gaze from your reflection onto your agent in the background, you sighed softly at the growing sour and distressed omega pheromones. Oh, you realized suddenly, your nose unable to keep from scrunching at the mildewy detergent scent, they were really stressed out.

Today was the night of the biggest award show one could attend as a movie star celebrity in Japan. The Motion Picture Awards gave only the most prestigious and prodigious actors and actresses their due. A night of fashion, alcohol, and nervous pheromone pumping alphas and betas in a single room to reveal who was the best this year. Working in an industry such as your own, you had become quite the living legend already at the mere age of twenty-two.

As an omega, you grew up in a society that banned you from enlisting or attempting to join the ranks of the best in just about every field of focus or study. So that even included the area of acting. Casting Directors had always said the same thing each and every time you were forced to present your secondary gender to them all when being called back for auditions.

‘Omegas can’t be movie stars, your heats are too often and too long, they cause rifts in filming schedules this project cannot afford.’

‘We have too many prime alphas on set. Our film's projected main character is an alpha, we wouldn’t want to be caught up in a lawsuit should she find you to be too… fertile.’

‘Omegas can only be good, suitable nurtures and well, mothers. This movie just seems a bit too intense for a little omega like you!’

Omegas can’t do this, omegas can’t do that. Alphas, the pride of society, couldn’t be made to hold themselves back to your alluring scent and occasional heats. Betas, the majority of the population, didn’t feel a challenge when working alongside omegas. Omegas? Well, if there were any that actually existed within the film industry, they were for sure never heard from, or seen of.

At the age of eighteen, you had nearly given up on your long aspiring desire to become the first omega actor or actress to ever grace the scene. But just as you were ready to tell your agent that you were tired of all of the same, repetitive bullshit, a gentle alpha had approached you with an exciting role in mind for you.

Movies and cinematic films had always showcased omegas as sweet, nurturing individuals. For the most part, you agreed that that’s how you omegas were. You enjoyed hugging your close friends, scenting them softly as means of a small pack you had created as none of you were mated this young, yet didn’t ever wish to be bothered by self-righteous alphas or betas. Through many, many biology courses revolving around your secondary gender, you knew that the hormones that made you an omega also affected the brain to accept and view things in a… softer light. But unlike what they taught in school, and unlike what the alphas in society knew about omegas as they could never honestly watch an omega in heat while alone, was that omegas weren’t always the most nurturing or kind.

The week before your heat, the week of, and the week following your heat, you were always irritable, angry, almost cold. You’d flash your small fangs at anyone who dared to approach you with a scent you hated, your heat room never once escaping with everything torn to shreds, and you definitely did not wish to seek any fiber of soft love.

So when the alpha male sat in front of you, a single fang poking out of his lip as he exposed his neck in a motion of vulnerability and conceding to you — the omega — you knew he was serious.

He explained to you his plan on creating a more realistic movie surrounding the brutal truths of what being a single omega was like. Films had, after all, had always depicted omegas as being mated the moment they presented and going as far as saying that there were others means to be coupled to other alphas without actually being marked. It was atrociously wrong of the omega lifestyle, and it always made your stomach curl to see that it was an alpha or a beta actor putting on the role.

But he wanted to focus on the realities. The anger, sadness, and horrors you could face as a single, unmated omega. The director raved that you were the face for that movie and had a soul that made him come seek you out. And without so much as consultation from your agent, you agreed on the spot.

The title of the film had been an ironic one. Good Little Omega was what it was called in the end.

All in all, the movie had done poorly in the eyes of the critics. Many individuals — namely alphas and betas — claimed that the depiction of omegas within the film had been horribly wrong. Omegas were never sad, never homeless, never abandoned by society! That’s what they had all cried the moment the trailer flashed with bright letters:

AND INTRODUCING: Y/L/N Y/N (Ω)

Still, the movie made billions as many went to watch it because they ‘needed to see how horrible the movie was.’ They wanted proof that omegas weren’t cut as movie stars because how could someone who was out of commission for a week every two months be proactive on set. But all they got was a cinematic masterpiece.

You had taken a claim in the industry, one while small, that hadn’t hurt that much because you were much more focused on the fact that you now were a household name. Well, that is until you were nominated for the awards ceremony you were currently about to attend, only that it was the one from four years ago.

You were the first omega actress and now the first omega nominee. You hadn’t won, but that had solidified the step you had in the door. After that, the interests to hire you in omega roles came pouring through the door.

But you were brought back to reality when the setting spray splashed against your face, your eyes fluttering when they covered your scent glands with the flesh-colored band-aids they got for you. Alphas could never complain about you being a distraction if you smelled the same as betas.

Rising to your feet, you smiled graciously to your makeup and styling team, thanking them profusely as your agent placed her hand at the small of your back and began pushing you towards the exit.

“Goodluck!”

“Thank you!”

Shigaraki glared down the table of averted eyes, and his hands brought up under his chin twitched at his annoyance.

“Are you going to say anything, or are we going to remain silent?” he asked, his voice quiet yet heavy in all of their ears as they flinched. “Don’t think you’re going to get away without giving me an answer.”

The sour smell of fearful alphas should have corroded Shigaraki’s nose. It should have done something to unsettle the way that the young head sat on his black leather seat. But as a matter of fact, the young alpha had to resist the way he wanted to bare his teeth in a bloodied smile, his red eyes slit in his cruel lust for fear.

“O-Of course not, a-alpha!” croaked one of the smaller alphas down the table. Shigaraki snapped his eyes towards the yellow-haired croony, his neck exposed for the alpha, eyes refusing to look at his leader. “I-It’s just that, um, I — I mean, we don't know w-what happened to your mate!”

“I thought I gave clear and distinct instructions that you were supposed to have found them by this meeting,” Shigaraki stated, his voice somehow growing colder, meaner yet never once changing as his hands dropped from his chin to rest on the arms of his chair. He tilted his head, watching the pathetic alphas quiver like some scared, stupid omega. “Useless. Get out of here before I change my mind on killing you all where you sit.”

The crowd of alphas left quicker than Shigaraki could blink, leaving behind the reeking smell of scared alpha pheromones.

“Tomura-kun, you killed your mate,” came the singsong giggle from behind him, and Shigaraki didn’t bother turning around, his nose and ears sharp enough to pick up exactly it was behind him.

“They’re all a bunch of pissy lackeys,” Shigaraki simply stated, his eyes rolling as he slowly fell to the back of his chair, red eyes meeting golden ones that shone with mirth and joy. “What do you want, Toga?”

Toga leaned against the leather armrest, uncaring that Shigaraki hated his personal space invaded. The young female was an alpha, much like most of the people within this gang group, but unlike the others, she had a distinct, almost terrifying way to change the way she smelled. She could smell like anyone or any secondary gender. She often preferred to smell like an omega too.

“We have a guest visiting us today!” Toga chirped, her fingers clasping together. “I wanted to introduce him!”

“Bring Giran in,” Shigaraki snapped, his eyes narrowing with no real malice for the alpha next to him who simply pouted at the surprise — not a surprise — being ruined. Giran reeked of cigarettes and cheap body sprays that, when wafted with his distinct omega pheromones, made Shigaraki want to throw up. “Hurry up.”

“UGH!”

Shigaraki’s mouth was set in a firm line, his eyes watching as one of his most trusted allies walked to the table, and taking a seat in the abandoned chairs as Toga purred in happiness, sitting on the armchair of Giran’s chair, arms enveloping him.

“Shigaraki, how are you doing?” Giran smiled, the cigarette that seemed to take a permanent residence in his teeth moving with his words. “I came bearing some great news.”

“What do you have for me?” Shigaraki simply states, his eyes focusing on the letter that is unpocketed from Giran’s pockets and placed onto the table. “Don’t tell me you’re trying to sell me your omega niece again.”

Giran chuckled, looking at Toga, who was smirking softly, “I guess he still hates that joke, huh?”

“Absolutely livid!” Toga laughed.

Shigaraki growled, his mind and his inner alpha snarling at the lack of respect to the command of his question. He outranked them, outpowered them; they needed to respect his orders.

Giran took a deep inhale of his cigarette, sliding the card over to Shigaraki, his eyes averted, but his stance still firm. “I know you go through omegas faster than a teenage boy goes through a pack of tissues, but I think this can answer the pleas you have at night.”

Observing the card in his hand, Shigaraki scowls, unsure of how to feel about the print on the invitation.

“Say the word, and I’ll get you a seat,” Giran whispers, like a sinister god begging a mere mortal to sign over their life for something completely worthless. But Shigaraki knows his worth, and more importantly, he knows in this game he outranks Giran, who would never betray him. In the slightest. He huffs, his back hunched, and his eyes looking with subdued excitement.

“Who else is showing up?”

Giran knows the seat will be wanted that instant.

“No one who could hold a candle to you, alpha.”

“Don’t make me regret this.”

“Of course not, my liege.”

The award sitting in your hand feels almost fake as if the entire night was nothing more than a heat-driven fever dream. You had won, had actually won the most significant award of the night that an actress could win!

“Oh my gods, okay, okay,” your agent muttered beside you. Her eyes glued to the shiny gold statue between your legs. “Well, I know your heat starts tomorrow, and I’ll leave you alone for a week. But I swear, y/n, as soon as your mind isn’t a full-blown lusty heat brained bimbo, we’ll reconvene, and we will make sure you are nothing but the greatest!”

“Yeah,” you breathlessly state, eyes transfixed on the prize that felt like it could melt away any second right now. “That sounds wonderful.”

The car you were in pulled up to your front door, and you felt meek excited the car in nothing but a silk robe and slippers. The dress you had worn that night had already been put back into a plastic bag to be returned to the stylist who had offered to style you for the night. You waved with an almost transfixed look in your eyes as you closed your front door behind you, your heart hammering as adrenaline still coursed through your veins as if you had just been declared the victor of the category yet again.

Placing the trophy onto the table, you sighed in a wondrous, dreamy way.

You had done it.

You had won.

Fuck all those directors who had ever said anything different.

Still deep in your thoughts, you almost missed the knock on your door, and you figured that you must have left something in the car. Walking back over to the front door, your nose curled at the lack of scent, was it a beta?

Opening the door, you don’t remember seeing faces or even a scent of a pheromone. A single cloth wrapped over your head, and before you could send out your painful, fearful moments-from-heat omega pheromones, you were knocked out.

Cold and lifeless, you sunk against their arms, bile rising up to your throat as you know exactly what was going on. You were being kidnapped.

No… please not… not after all of this had happened.

You wake up to the sound of moving feet, sneering laughter, the feeling of coarse, hot, hands on your ass and wet, simmering tongues on your lubricated cunt. The sense is vivid. You can feel the very littlest touch on your body, the layer of scented pheromones on your glands, and slick from alphas — you know it's alphas imprinting themselves on you as a mark of a claim.

You knew about this from high school; it was an extremely outdated and frowned upon version of mating and claiming as it simply turned away any sort of pursuer who wasn’t the thick pheromone individual. You also knew it was frowned upon because if multiple individuals sought mateship with the typical omega individual, it would result in a massive, unsolvable death match. But these alphas, even with layering their scent on you so thick you thought you were turning crazy, didn’t attack. No, they took languid stripes of your fresh, intoxicating slick and growled to you, maybe, how that was how slick was supposed to be.

You wanted to move, to kick the stupid, demeaning alphas in the snout before running away, but in a twist of horrible realization, you soon figured out that despite your alert mind, you couldn’t move your body. Couldn’t shift it even the smallest of bits.

“I hope all you wonderful clients have been able to taste and smell your potential mates out here!” A loud, commanding introduction voice echoed from somewhere where you couldn’t see, his voice vibrating into the straps of your legs, but you couldn’t make a sound or even open your eyes. “As you know, we have such an arrangement for you all, the best of the best, really! We don’t wish to rush, but as always, all of these events are incredibly time-sensitive, so if you would, please alphas, please come and sit down, and we’ll begin bidding on our first of seven beautiful, fertile omegas tonight!”

The words sounded foreign in your ears yet at the same time, something so familiar because this was something you omegas were always warned about. This had to be some sort of omega mate auction, and by the stench of alphas who smelled like they owned millions and killed millions, you were in no doubt somehow caught up in one of the worst ones imagined.

Two long, completely hardened fingers suddenly entered your cunt, and as if for a single millisecond, your mind and your body were able to work in tangent, your hips bucked at the sweet feelings. Oh, your eyes tried to flutter, enjoying the way the two fingers circled the walls of your long lonely cunt.

“Please, alpha, please refrain from touching the merchandise for now, please join us so that we may begin!”

The two fingers buried within your cunt as if it was their right, slowly withdrew out of your pulsing walls, and you heard the sound of sneakers against the hardwood floor and felt relaxed and sickened at how you sort of liked it.

Heat brain, you reminded yourself. Just your stupid, horny heat brain.

You were a celebrity, you mantra, a dignified star who didn’t need a beta or an alpha unless you saw it fit. Right now, as you had repeated many times to the countless amounts of reporters who had asked, you had no interest in someone to share your heat with.

“Alright, and to start off our night in a rolling go! Please, everyone put your hands together for the fertile and beautiful thirteenth in-line the Princess of Cabodia: Dayanara!”

This auction was insane, all six omegas before you all sold from a price that ranged from 198 hundred million to the one right before you who sold for one billion dollars. You were a prideful omega, and you saw worth to your abilities, smell, and looks, but were you even worth anywhere in that range?

The entire time you had been set up in who knows what, the small, overwhelming pound of your heat sinking into the depths and pores of your body was becoming heavy. You couldn’t move a single muscle still, your body still refusing to respond to the call of your body, but the seep of your slick running down the innards of your thighs, undoubtedly beginning to pool on the ground, must be embarrassing of you.

Suddenly someone spread the skin below your ass out, and you couldn’t react as something sharp and prick stabbed into your flesh. You howled in the surprising pain, and you were fast to find that whatever they had injected you with had allowed systematic movement within your body. Your eyes fluttered open as two, impossibly huge alphas grabbed you by your forearm and hoisted you to your feet.

Your neck was far too weak to carry the weight of your head, so your eyes were transfixed on the white silk of the slutty dress they dressed you in. It showed off your cleavage with no regret, and by the feel and look of it, it barely passed the bottom of your ass. Your vision swam, the alphas all over the room distorted and melting within one another as you stepped onto a stage, the spotlight on you feeling deliriously hot and melting your skin.

Your hormones, already going crazy with your heat, seemed to intensify at the small of so many capable, potent, possessive alpha pheromones that suffocated the room. Handcuffs slapped onto your wrists, and you moaned pathetically at the sting of cold metal on your skin, and you obediently followed the command of one alpha to go on your knees.

A nail slammed between the metal links of the handcuffs, practically stapling you to the wooden floor, and you whimpered at the feeling of a stuffed pillow mount being placed beneath your lower stomach. You were in a forced and easily accessible mating position with your slick and cunt exposed for all the alphas to re-smell and see.

Moaning, you shifted against the mount, your body not able to have the full movement you needed to ward off that building, insufferable heat in your core, but nothing you could do seemed to satisfy it.

“And for our biggest prize of the night, we have the one, the only, the beautiful sensation Y/l/n Y/n!” the auctioneer roared. His voice echoing in your ear as he walked over to you, exposing your dripping cunt to the crowd of alphas who had all gotten a sweet taste of your essence already. His hand came down to slap your ass with a chuckle. “Where do we start the bidding on this one, alphas? She needs no introduction, and none of you better be pussies because we know this bitch of an omega won’t take any tiny cocks as her alpha! She needs to be broken in, fucked to submission. No one likes a trailblazer… someone needs to remind of what fucking trail she’s supposed to be on. Besides, the bitch is in fucking heat, and if you don’t claim her, I just might do it myself!”

“75 million!” someone started the bidding.

You stiffened.

“75 to the man in the back!”

“90 million!” someone challenged.

“We’re up to 90!”

“125 million!”

“Do I hear another offer?”

“250 million!”

The number climbed and climbed, the same voices coming to challenge each other until finally, they rounded out to a quantity that sounded bizarre even to you.

“950 million!”

If it had been possible for your knees to give out, you would have been collapsed onto the floor, the pool of slick that continued to lubricate your cunt without a doubt drowning you as you craved the need to be fucked by someone with undoubted alpha pheromones and cock in this room.

“950 million?” the auctioneer repeated, his voice for sure carrying a shark-like grin. “Going once, going twice—”

“Five billion.”

The gasp in the crowd was undeniable, and the omega in you crooned, knowing that this alpha valued you and your omega to be the price of five billion US dollars.

“Fuck!” screamed the man who had presented the 950 million deal.

“Wowee, five billion dollars, everyone! Anyone think they can beat that?! Going once! Going twice!” The crowd remained in silence, and you shook against your restraint, the heat emitting from your cunt almost demanding to be seen and fucked through this heat week. “SOLD! The virgin celebrity, Y/l/n Y/n sold to our own Shigaraki Tomura!”

The cheers of amaze weren’t nearly as loud as the smell of reeking petty alpha.

“Come and pay up, alpha, and then you can show us… a demonstration of how you’re going to break this omega.”

“Shut up.” Shigaraku growled, his footsteps heavy in your ear as you feel him climb up the stage, and you weakly tilted your head to look at the white-haired alpha boss hand over a simple credit card before walking over to you, his eyes unreadable as he looked you dead in the eye.

He reached out a finger that raised your chin up for him to study your face, moving and tilting your head as he pleased as a small, sinister smile pressed to his lips as he dropped your head. A sharp, uncomfortable pain fell on your chin as it crashed to the floor, and you shivered at the feeling of his calloused and rough fingers running down your exposed back.

“You’re such a small omega, still stupidly tiny. I bet you’ve never thought your first knot would come from someone like me,” Shigaraki laughed, his fingers and voice ice cold. His words were soft, spoken in a way that had your omega stupidly cooing for having secret conversations with your alpha who promised to fuck you till you were carrying a litter of pups. “I hope you realize that this is real life, that I will break you, and no hero in this world will be able to fucking save you.”

“Fuck the omega!” someone from the crowd screamed, and Shigaraki glared upwards. Still, you shivered in the thought of this alpha who spent five billion dollars to make you his claiming you, fucking your stupid heat brain into mush in front of these smaller, irrelevant alphas.

“I’ll do what I fucking please,” Shigaraki snapped, but the fingers you remembered to have been the last ones to enter your slicked crazy walls seemed to be his. They moved deep within you, curling and spreading your tight, sopping wet cavern apart, letting your pathetic, chirping cries echo powerfully in the room as lusting, near rutting alpha pheromones filled the room. “For fucks sake, omega, your pussy’s fucking tight as shit! Don’t you have any real knotted toys?”

You couldn’t respond back, your body on the road to a complete shut down at the feeling of something other than silicone deep within your body, fingering and dragging against your pheromone soaked walls.

“Alpha, y-your fingers feel so good!” you gasp, your hips thrusting backward, enjoying the way his fingernails press onto your warm velvet walls. “So good, you make me feel so good already.”

“I’ve seen you all over the news,” Shigaraki growled low into your ear. “Talking about how you didn’t want an alpha, how you never needed to feel the tightness that a fat knot could bring you, and look at you now. I’ve barely touched you, barely begun to make you mine, and yet you’re already begging for me, omega.”

Your arms tug at the handcuffs, pathetically wanting them off. Exasperatedly seeking more friction from your newly bought alpha. You can’t think straight, can’t come up with a single response except the stupid apologetic, “I’m so sorry alpha, I didn’t know i-it would be y-you!”

“Don’t be shy on her, Shigaraki! Fuck the slutty omega already! Fucking knot and claim her in front of us, I want to hear the omega whore scream. It’s always hotter when it’s the first claim ever!”

“You better learn how to shut the fuck up, or I’ll kill you for interrupting my fucking session here,” Shigaraki seethed, his red, smoldering eyes ripping from yours and glaring at some loser alpha behind you. You couldn’t care. You only wanted what looked like the growing cock in Shigaraki’s pants; you wanted to feel the cock fill up your cunt, and his knot to lock you both in place.

You drooled at the thought, your loud, whimpering cries unable to keep from pouring out as the slick from your core seemed to pour endlessly from your pussy, demanding attention and a knot. “Breed me, fill me with your pups,” you begged fingers taking in his dirty fingers in your mouth, tongue wildly and uncontrollably flicking across his fingers in hopes it would be a sinking prayer of your promise to be good. “I want your knot, alpha, I want these stupid alphas to know you’re so much better than them~!”

Shigaraki’s once snarl fell when he looked at you, a slowly growing smirk falling on his face as his lips spread into a cruel smirk, one that had you moaning around his fingers as he pinched the pink muscle in your mouth before disappearing before you.

“I smelled your distress when I put my fingers up your sloppy little cunt right before the auction happened; I could tell even with your growing heat that you hated the feeling of my fingers up your pretty pussy. But look at you now, I haven’t even set you on my goddamn knot, haven’t stretched that tiny cunt to its max. You’re smelling better than a bitch in heat,” Shigaraki growled in your ear. His clothed chest pressing deliriously into your exposed back, the huge cock outline in his pants grinding incessantly into your wet core, undoubtedly leaving a damp patch where his cock ground into you. “You’re an actress, aren’t you, little omega? I bet you just needed this audience cheering your name to break your mind over this. How. Pathetic.”

And the pressure on your tongue is gone, the drool and saliva sticky and cold on your chin as you whimper for your alpha. You promised that it wasn’t right, it was just that you had been scared before, but your alpha was so strong, his pheromones so scary and mean, he could protect you and fill you up with so many pups you couldn’t help but to be excited now.

The smell of Shigaraki seemed to brighten, and you moaned when his hands pressed the white dress up, allowing for your naked ass to be seen by him and everyone who stayed to watch. Shigaraki squeezed your asscheeks away, chuckling at the way your small asshole clenched in your embarrassment and pain at how your hormone-driven heat demanded that he fuck you and knot you now.

“So fucking wet,” Shigaraki observed, his fingertips tracing the slick on your folds before a small pop told you that he licked you clean from his fingers. “Such sweet slick too, you really are a prime omega, little one.”

You whimpered, ass shaking for him to continue to touch you, to continue to fuck you more.

“I don’t think you’re ready for my knot, precious omega,” Shigaraki taunted, and his words were a sealing deal in your lusting mind. Your hips knocking backward in some sort of desperation for more.

“She won’t,” commented the auctioneer.

“I will!” you scream, eyes filled with painful tears that could only be resolved with your alphas knot and claim. “I can take your knot, alpha!”

Shigaraki makes a small noise, and you choke at the feeling of something huge, nearly monstrous, shift into your cunt. You were a virgin, but even you knew that it was merely the head of his alpha thick cock, not enough for you to be satisfied, not far enough in you to breed or fuck you properly. All the moans in your throat were slightly painful, and the tears in your eyes continued to fall as you rocked your hips backward, trying to sink yourself further on his cock, wanting him deep in your womb.

You craved him.

“Ah, good, you can take more,” came the airy, almost insane driven coo of Shigaraki, the lack of humor making your cunt flutter against his thick, long cock. “Cry for your alpha, little omega.”

With that, Shigaraki slammed into you with no mercy, his cock bottoming out into you with a powerful, edging thrust. You screamed in pain, tears leaking from your eyes, and even with the pool of lubricating slick, his cock was far too big, incredibly thick that you felt your inner walls splitting in two as he fucked you as if you weren’t in delirious pain.

Drool and tears covered your arms, your painted fingers digging into the floorboards with crazy strength that you clawed scars on the floor as Shigaraki rutted deep within you.

Shigaraki commanded you with every thrust he gave, and soon the omega in you was cooing, howling for more, the pain of having your virginity ripped from right under you having become bubbling, glowing pleasure. You screamed in pleasure, Shigaraki grabbing onto your rolling hips to slam you back onto his cock, allowing for his thick cock to hit deep within you over and over again. The angle and power he possessed with every thrust were almost inhumane, nothing your lonely heat filled nights could ever dream of recreating ever. Shrill moans and pleas drowned out the annoying commentary of your onlookers, Shigaraki’s chest still flushed against your back, his hips landing heavily on your ass that was at this point raised because of the mount beneath you.

“My alpha,” you babble, eyes unfocused, hazy, and incredibly heavy as you stared at some point on the wall, overwhelmed with the feeling of Shigaraki’s hot cock pounding in you. “My alpha, such a good alpha. His cock is making my tummy feel funny, making my pussy feel so tight. Please fill me with your children, I’ll be a good omega to you and them, I promise! I promise — I — oh myyy goddd — I promise, alpha!!!”

Shigaraki puffs up with the praise, but he continued to fuck into you roughly, mercilessly, as if you were nothing more than the breeding whore omega that he had purchased you for. The wet slaps and satisfying squelches rang in the blazing heat room, the smell of the pleasured and heat insane omega saturating deeply within his nose, and in the other's nose, the prideful smell of a satisfied alpha.

Your spongy walls clenched and spasmed against his penetrating, pounding cock, sometimes even forcibly because, by god, it was hot when his cock would twitch within your womb, especially against your cervix.

“Fuck, you’re so damn annoying,” Shigaraki snarled into your ear, his teeth biting and scraping along your neck, and you wailed when his teeth dragged over the sweet scent gland on your neck. The one and only place for mating bites to go. His hand gripped your hair, tugging your head back so that you could feel his rough facial skin rub up against yours. “If you want me to fill you with my pups, you better be the best fucking omega on this goddamn planet.”

“I can be the best! I’ll be the best!” you cried, your ass shifting backward to meet his drilling hips.

The delirious sensation of his cock rocking against your cervix slowly begins to inflate the knot on his cock, restricting his still barbaric thrusting as he made to move faster. He wanted you to cum before he knotted entirely within you.

The pressure in your stomach is scorching and impossibly tight, and he takes another long stripe at your scent gland. You tremble with need, your fingers tearing into the wooden floors. You can feel the knot on his cock swelling up, catching onto the opening of your cunt with every successive cunt, and you begin to cry, shake, and tremble as the knot becomes too big.

Your eyes cross, your tongue falling out of your mouth as you babble his name. Your walls clamp around his knotted cock with the ferocity of a vice, and your body jerks violently as you cum hard around his cock. The slick essence of your orgasm slipping out of the few lasting places open before Shigaraki’s knot fills you out entirely. Despite his cock unable to move, the swollenness of his knot preventing him from moving out of you, Shigaraki still shoves his weight into his hips, the inflated knot stretching your cock out so widely, your vision went white, and you came yet a second time.

A small pop was heard, and suddenly with a rush of thick, hot, and heavy white cum exploded within your womb, his teeth sink around your scent gland, marking you — mating you. He filled you, filled you, and filled you. His cum wouldn’t stop until your belly was swollen with his hot cum, and he eventually fell off of you with a shaky, shallow breath.

You still remained on the mount, your eyes unfocused, breaths mumbling to your alpha, a promise to carry out every single pup he gave you and would give you. You were his omega, his good little omega, and you would never disappoint your alpha. Not now, not ever.

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

The next week, you opened your door with a broad smile, your usual clothes replaced with a dress Shigaraki had picked for you and a frilly white apron on as your agent was standing outside of your house, eyes wide, mouth gaped at the still bleeding mate wound on your shoulder.

“Ah, how funny!” you laughed, waving your hand as you sighed dreamily, your eyes fluttering at the thought of your alpha who was on a business call right now. “I’m actually going to be quitting! My alpha and I have many plans right now, I gotta produce as many litters as I can, being an actress would never give me this sort of meaning in life!”

“B-But, you’re doing so much?! You have so much to do! You can’t give up?!”

“Oh, my love, we both know that I look much cuter with a pregnant belly! Don’t worry,” you smile, taking your agent's hand, brightly smiling at her one last time. “I’m sure all omegas will eventually find their alpha so they won’t be so depressed and angry like I was!”

Your agent doesn’t get another word in.

You slam the door in her face, your hands already resting on your belly that you knew was already growing the life of your first litter of pups. It had been known the second Shigaraki filled you up anymore.

You were a good little omega, and your alpha needed you!

#shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki smut #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #bbs kinktober 2020

1K notes · View notes

angstysebfan · 3 years

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On my knees for a part 2 ma'am. I'm fucking sad rn. The way you are bringing out so many emotions in just s few words is something else.

Anon: You're doing a part 2 for defend to the end right? Yes you are. Please. I need to know wtf will happen. THAT my request.

By popular vote here is part 2 of Defend To The End!!

You felt your tears roll down your face as you see Bucky’s taillights disappear. You turn around and walk back into the banquet hall to find the man that caused this. You spy him sitting at the bar with a bag of ice to his jaw. You march up to him in a rage.

“What the actual fuck, Alex!” you scream.

Alex scoffs, “I did you a fucking favor, Y/N. That guy is nothing. Don’t give him another thought. You know you still love me anyway,” he says.

“Yes, I still have love for you, but that does not give you an excuse to do this. Why I even defended you over my boyfriend, who I also love by the way, is beyond me. Now I lost him and it’s your fault! You broke up with me but you have been messing with my mind since. Why can’t you just let me go?” you scream.

“I don’t want you to date anyone else, ok? I’m not ready to to get back together with you, but I don’t want you dating someone else. When I’m ready we will get back together and live our lives. But I need you to wait,” he said.

The anger that you feel as he says his little speech comes on you like a freight train. You suddenly can’t hear anything around you and lose sense of everyone in the room. You don’t even notice you swinging until you made contact with his already bruised jaw. Alex yells in pain and falls on the floor. You ignore the pain on your knuckles from the punch and tower over him.

“Fuck you Alex. You are the most selfish person I have ever met! I can’t believe I ever loved you. I can’t believe that I allowed you to ruin my relationship with someone who is loving and caring and generally wants to be with me. I hope you rot in hell!” you yell before turning and making a hasty retreat out of the banquet hall.

You pull up to Bucky’s townhome an hour later. You had to wait for an Uber, and of course it was Saturday night, so it took longer than expected. You continued to try and call Bucky over and over, but he wouldn’t answer. You run up to his door and pound on it, hoping that he was home. After 10 minutes you realized he wasn’t and sat on the front steps waiting for him.

You had forgot you jacket and started to shiver in your sleeveless dress, but didn’t care as long as you found him. You allowed more tears to fall as you thought about the chances of Bucky ever forgiving you. You were stupid. You allowed yourself to be blinded by Alex, and you are not even sure why. You loved Bucky, and you trusted him. You were stupid to think he would be as petty as Alex made him seem.

You suddenly hear a car pull up in front of the house and look up to see Bucky getting out of his car.

“What are you doing here Y/N? I thought you would be taking care of your boyfriend,” he sneered.

You winced at his comment, but knew you deserved it and more. You take a breath, hearing the shakiness in it from your tears.

“I.. Bucky I am so sorry. I know it’s not enough. What I did tonight was horrible. I should have known better than to listen to Alex. I don’t even know why I did. I--”

“Because you are still in love with him,” Bucky interrupted.

“No. I know it seems like it, but I swear I am not in love with Alex anymore. I still had love for him, but I stopped being in love with him when I fell in love with you. I don’t have an excuse, which is horrible, but it’s true. I realized what I did and ran after you, but you had gone off. I-- I know there is a chance that you will never forgive me. What I did was absolutely horrible, but Bucky I love you. I love you and I’m so sorry,” you cried.

Bucky continues to look at you, but his expression softened slightly. He sighs, “How long have you been sitting out here in the cold without a coat?” he asks.

You look at him confused, “I don’t know. An hour, maybe,” you say.

You think he is going to invite you in, but he is still hurt and upset, “Go home. Get warm. We can talk about this tomorrow,” he says as he moves past you to his front door.

You watch him enter his house and close the door. The moment the door closes you collapse on the stairs and sob quietly. You deserve this. You don’t get to have him forgive you.

Bucky listened from the other side of the door to you quietly sobbing. He thought about opening the door, but he is so hurt and mad that he doesn’t know what to do with you. You have no idea how hurt he is. He thought you were his person. The one. He knew you were hung up on your ex when you first started dating but thought it had gone away. Apparently not.

Even though now you stood in front of him telling him that Alex means nothing, your actions tonight told a different story. What hurts is that you knew how hard it is for him to trust people. You tore his walls down, and now they are back up. He listened as you finally calmed down and slowly walked down his front steps and toward the direction of your apartment.

He thinks about offering you a ride since it is cold out, but he decides not to. He has a lot to think about. Does he want to believe the words you just spoke? Does he want to believe that you really are over Alex? He saw the bruises on your knuckles, which shows you hit something or someone. Does he want to forgive you? Does he still want to date you?

You woke up disoriented. You never made it to bed last night. You fell asleep on your couch. Your head felt fuzzy and your eyes were swollen from crying. You sit up and see the room is filled with sunlight. The brightness of the room contrasts with how you are feeling. You sigh, hoping that you will be able to talk to Bucky today.

You force yourself up and go to shower and change. After taking a long hot shower and getting into sweats and a t-shirt, you walk into your kitchen for coffee, stopping short at the site in front of you.

Bucky sits at your counter, sipping coffee out of his favorite mug of yours. You see he poured and prepared some for you also. He looks at you and gives you a small smile. Your heart starts pounding as you slowly walk into the room to stand next to him. You grab your mug and whisper a quiet thank you to him. He nods in response.

Before you can say anything, Bucky says, “Hope you don’t mind I used my key to come in. You were in the shower, so I figured I would get the coffee going.”

You nod, “I don’t mind at all. Bucky--” you start to say.

“Can I go first?” he asks.

You nod in response and look down at your hands on the counter. You have never been as terrified as you are now. This is it. This is either the end of your relationship, or the beginning of a new chapter. You screwed up. You know this. Consequences happen, and you are willing to face them. You just hope this isn’t the end.

Bucky puts his hand on top of yours to get you to look up at him. You do with glossy eyes and see his face is neutral but soft. “Y/N... you hurt me. You knew how long it took for me to break down my walls and trust you, and in one fell swoop you ruined it. How can I trust that you truly don’t love Alex anymore?” he asks.

Tears slip down your cheeks. You that is a rhetorical question. Bucky grabs your right hand that is still bruised. He brings it to his lips and softly kisses it, causing your heart flutter.

“Why do you have this bruise?” he asks softly.

“I, um, I punched Alex,” you said.

Bucky looks at you astonished, “You punched Alex?” he asked.

You nod silently.

“Why?”

You sigh and take his hand, bringing it to your lips for a kiss. “Bucky. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I know that, and I will accept whatever decision you come to. But when you left I confronted Alex. I saw him smirk when you left. I know he did this to break us up, and I fell for it.

A part of me thought that Alex was the one. That started to disappear when I met you, but I always had a spot for him. Over the last several months, Alex started to pay attention to me more. Give me small smiles, and made me feel like he still had feelings. When I told him about you, he seemed so supportive. Like he was generally happy for me.

So when you told me that he was saying terrible things, I couldn’t believe it because that is the opposite of what I had seen. Now I know he just manipulated me. He didn’t want to get back together. He wanted us apart so I could wait for him until he was ready,” you said angrily.

Bucky shook his head, not saying a word.

“I got so mad that I punched him in the jaw and told him to rot in hell. I can’t believe I let him manipulate me to the point that I didn’t even believe my boyfriend, who has never given me a reason not to trust him. I’m just so sorry Buck. Nothing is going to make this better. But I really am sorry for hurting you,” you say.

Bucky cups your cheek, “A part of me wanted to walk away from you. I wanted to never forgive you. But... Between trying to get hypothermia last night and you punching that asshole, and I know... I know you’re sorry. It’s going to take awhile, but I want to try. I want to trust you again, but it’s not going to be easy for you,” he says.

You nod, “I know. I will earn your trust back. I promise. I love you,” you say.

He smiles, “I love you too,” he says before pulling you in for a kiss.

Part 1

Hope you all enjoyed this!

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