#and we hung out together a bunch that whole week and held hands and cuddled and shit

[final-girlfriend]

thinking abt all of my missed connections and romantic relationships that never got off the ground.....

[yoddream]

part 1 is here

(TW: talks of weight and clothing size)

It had been a couple months since Jeno apologized. It had been rough at times, for he had missed out on a lot with not only you but your other friends as well. Renjun had also gotten into a relationship, so he wasn’t available as much, but he always made time for you guys, and sometimes one of you would invite his partner along.

Jaemin was back home for a family emergency, so he’d missed out on the initial reunion. He had returned not too long after, but when he did he’d given Jeno the cold shoulder for almost two weeks. everyone had felt it was a little excessive, but he stood his ground until he was ready.

Mark and Haechan had had a huge fight, resulting in them taking a break for about a month. It had resulted in you and Haechan eating a bunch of takeout while watching youtube videos multiple nights a week. Nobody knew what the fight was actually about, but it made everyone worried the couple would break up permanently.

Jisung and Chenle were the only ones that didn’t really have anything happen to them. They still attended class and hung out with the group, but that was it. It was almost as if they were immune to any drama.

When it seemed like everything had settled, you were worried about something else coming up to ruin everything. It seemed to good to be true for everything to feel right again. Was a random quiz going to pop up in one of your classes? Would your apartment flood? We’re your parents going to call you with bad news?

No. Instead, you ran into Yeeun.

You’d gone to the boba shop a few blocks away from your apartment to reward yourself for getting your essay done a couple days before it was due. Sure, you could’ve gone whenever, but rewarding yourself with it motivated you, and it made the drink taste that much better. Jeno was back at your place, still writing his paper, so you’d offered to get him some to keep going, which then turned into you offering to get some for Haechan and Mark as well.

When you walked into the shop, you almost bumped into Yeeun. She looked as put-together as usual, with her hair glossy and straight, an outfit that consisted of baggy jeans and a cropped cardigan, and perfect makeup to accentuate her big eyes. It reminded you of how despite her obviously looking upset the days after the break up, she still put herself together as if nothing had happened.

“O-oh. Hi Yeeun,” you said hesitantly.

She smiled brightly, which shocked you. “Hi, Y/N! How have you been?”

“I’ve been doing well. How—how have you been?” you asked.

“I’ve been doing okay. The break-up’s been rough, but my friends are helping me get through it. How’s Jeno been doing?”

“Not well. He’s been upset, but we’re doing everything we can to get his mind off it,” you explained.

“That’s good. Well, I have class in a few minutes, so I should get going.” As she walked around you, you spun around and called out her name. She turned to you with her eyebrows raised as she waited.

“Can I ask why you broke up with Jeno? None of us have been able to figure it out.”

She smiled sadly. “One time, he and I were eating lunch in the hall. You and your friends were sitting on the other side, looking over every once in a while until you picked up your phone and texted him. You had asked to hang out for movie night, but he said he already had plans with me. You just looked so sad and heartbroken, and I had remembered him talk about your movie nights and how special they were. Seeing how you reacted, I’d sneaked a look at his phone and saw that he’d turned you down almost every time you asked to hang out. I couldn’t get in the way of a friendship like that, especially knowing how close you were before I started dating him.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to him about it?” you asked genuinely.

“I thought about it, but something told me it wouldn’t have done anything,” she explained. When she looked at her watch, she cursed. “I really gotta go. You should text me, though! We can have a girls’ day!”

Once you’d gotten your order, you rushed back to your apartment and practically threw Jeno’s drink at him before rushing down the hall to Haechan’s room. With your free hand, you banged on the door while shouting “Code pink! Code pink!”

Code pink: ran into someone’s ex.

The door flew open, and you handed Mark his drink before pushing past him to grab Haechan. Dragging your roommate into your bedroom, you locked the door behind you and led him into your closet before closing the door behind you as well to assure nobody heard you talk.

“This story better be good enough for you to drag me back into the closet,” Haechan joked.

“Shut up, idiot. I ran into Yeeun.”

“What?!”

You shushed him harshly. “I don’t need those two breaking into my room trying to figure out what we’re talking about!”

“Tell. Me. Everything.”

So you did. The whole time you told your story, his eyes were wide as he took everything in. There were guesses as to why she’d broken up with Jeno, but nobody was close to the actual reason. And to hear that she wanted to stay in contact with you? It seemed impossible.

When you were done, Haechan sat there without saying a single word. What could he even say? Yeeun and Jeno had had a relationship that seemed perfectly fine. They weren’t toxic towards each other, and they weren’t nasty to each other’s friends.

“I never thought I’d hear about a couple breaking up to help someone outside of their relationship,” he finally said.

“Well, parents break up all the time because it’s better for their child,” you pointed out.

“But that kid is a part of the relationship. It’s their child. Breaking up because a friend is hurting? That’s new to me.”

There was a pause before you asked, “What do I do now?”

Haechan let out a big sigh. “I have no idea. If you wanna be friends with her, I don’t see why not. I would just wait a couple days before you text her. As for Jeno—well, there’s no way to tell how he would react.”

“Are you guys done? Hyuckie and I were supposed to watch a movie!” Mark called out.

Haechan rolled his eyes before muttering, “And everyone says I’m obsessed with him.”

“Go have your date night. I’m gonna see if Jeno needs help with his essay,” you said, shoving Haechan when he wiggled his eyebrows at you.

Haechan liked to joke that you and Jeno were dating, even though everyone knew you didn’t like each other. It had been an ongoing joke since you were in high school, but it’d stopped while Jeno and Yeeun were still together.

When you opened your bedroom door, Jeno and Mark were standing right there. Mark immediately grabbed Haechan and dragged him across the hall, leaving you with your best friend. He was staring at you with an unreadable expression, which worried you a little. Did he hear you?

“What are you hiding?” he asked, a smirk growing on his face.

You groaned loudly. “You asshole! I thought you were actually upset with me.”

“I’m just surprised that it’s a secret I’m not allowed to know,” he stated.

"I’ll tell you at some point. How’s your paper coming?”

Jeno frowned instead of responding. You immediately knew what he wanted. Jeno had always had a problem with expressing himself, so you learned how to read him. What he wanted right now? He wanted to cuddle. The only problem was that if you went with it, he’d never get his paper done. It was due tonight.

“Jeno, you better get that assignment done. Don’t make me regret buying that boba for you,” you said.

With his frown deepening, Jeno turned and headed back to the living room. You took a sip of your drink and closed the door. He was being dramatic; he knew he could come to you after he was done.

You snuggled into your bed and started watching a video on your phone. You could feel your eyelids getting heavy, but you did everything you could to fight against it. As time went on, it got harder and harder. By the time you were about to fall asleep, there was a soft knock on your door before it slowly creaked open. Jeno shuffled himself in and closed the door behind him before turning to you. Without a word, you lifted the edge of your comforter and let him crawl in. His long hair fell over his eyes by the time he settled, so you gently pushed it away. He threw an arm over your torso and pulled you close, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. You felt your whole body melt; it was just like old times.

///

A couple weeks had passed since you’d run into Yeeun. The two of you texted, and you’d even hung out with her a few times. Jeno either hadn’t found out yet, or he didn’t care. You were hoping it was the latter, but there was a good chance that wasn’t the case. He still seemed to be pretty heartbroken.

“What about this one?” Yeeun asked, holding up a dress.

The two of you were at the mall, shopping for a party. You’d never really gone to one, so you had one idea what to wear. The last time you were invited to a party, you didn’t want to go, so the guys had gone without you. It was actually how Jeno had met Yeeun.

“It’s cute,” you said. The dress was a bodycon that had a ruffle along the bottom. The straps were tied on the tops of the shoulders, and the fabric was a light pink. You could already tell it would look really nice on her.

“Yeah...I just don’t know if it’ll be good enough for the party,” she mumbled with a pout.

“Honestly, Yeeun, I think you could wear whatever the hell you wanted and look good,” you told her.

She frowned. “I guess. Well, how about you try it on?”

“No way. I could never wear that,” you stated with a firm shake of your head.

“Of course you can! Look, they have it in your size.” She swapped the dresses on the rack and held it out to you. “You don’t have to get it, but you can totally try it on. It’s not going to hurt you.”

“It could hurt my self-esteem,” you mumbled.

Yeeun took a step forward and gently grabbed you by the shoulders. “I know it’s not something you’d normally wear, but it’s just for fun. You are absolutely stunning, even if you think you aren’t. Trying on clothing is to see how something fits, not how you look in the clothing. If it feels too tight in certain areas, then you try a size up to see how that feels. It’s based on your level of comfort, not how you look. That’s why we try on clothes. A medium dress from here could be an extra-large dress from another store. Also, this color would look pretty on you.”

You paused. “Didn’t you just say that it’s not based on how you look?”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “When it comes to how it fits on your body, silly. Color is completely different. This shade of pink may look better with your skin tone than a different shade of pink. C’mon, please?”

Sighing, you took the dress and dragged your feet to the fitting room. When you closed the door and locked it, you took a deep breath before starting to undress. Avoiding your reflection, you took the dress off the hanger and stepped into it before sliding it up. Once your arms were completely through the straps and the dress was settled, you turned to your reflection and grimaced. Clearly, it was too small, but you tried to remember what Yeeun said.

A medium dress from here could be an extra-large dress from another store.

“Y/N? How does it feel?” Yeeun called out.

Taking another deep breath, you opened the door and stepped out. She looked up from her phone and frowned. Your heart felt heavy as your stomach dropped. Did you really look that bad?

“Let me get a size up. See, this is what I meant when I said sizes are different in each store!” she called out while running back to the rack. She came back with a smile on her face. “I know it’s difficult to ignore what size the tag says. Trust me, a lot of people worry about it. I used to all the time, and I still do it every once in a while. But just remember that companies suck and they’re always fucking somebody over, whether that’s somebody that has a body more like Tess Holliday or somebody with a body more like Winnie Harlow. Now, switch into this dress and see how it fits.”

You did as you were told and looked at your reflection once again. Trying to keep in mind what Yeeun said, you thought about how the dress fit. It wasn’t cutting into your underarms anymore, and you felt like you could breathe without popping a stitch. When you stepped out, she squealed and clasped her hands together.

“You look so hot, no lie! How do you feel?” she asked.

“Little uncomfortable, but mostly because I don’t usually wear bodycon dresses,” you admitted. “But...”

“But?”

“But I think I could see myself wearing it. Maybe not to the party, but sometime in the near future.”

The grin on her face grew. “That’s what I like to hear.”

///

On the night of the party, Haechan was at Mark’s, leaving you alone with the apartment. You took your time getting ready, dancing around to the music that was playing on your phone. The party wasn’t for another couple hours, which gave you more than enough time to finish your makeup and hair. Your phone vibrated a couple times, but you figured it was just the group chat. They’d been blowing it up while you were in the shower, but you hadn’t read any of it.

You’d decided to wear the dress, telling yourself that you could leave if you felt uncomfortable. It was a big step for you, maybe even too big, but you wanted to try.

Once you were ready, you grabbed your bag and keys and opened your apartment door. On the other side was Jeno, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. You stumbled back a little in surprise, your eyes wide at the sudden appearance of your best friend.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” you asked.

“I texted you, asking if you wanted to get some ice cream. I figured I’d show up when you didn’t answer.” He looked you up and down with a smile. “You look very pretty. Where are you going?”

“Um, Yeeun actually invited me to her party,” you mumbled.

His eyebrows raised in shock. “Oh. I didn’t know you two were talking.”

“Yeah. I, uh, I ran into her when I went to pick up boba.”

He grinned. “Is that what that code pink was about?”

“Maybe. You aren’t mad, are you?”

“I’m a little upset that you didn’t tell me, but I understand why you didn’t. Besides, I’m almost over the breakup,” he assured you. “I can drop you off, if you want. I’ll be driving by the sorority on my way home, so it’s not like I’ll be going out of my way.”

“Fine, but only because I wanna drink but don’t want to take an Uber,” you reasoned.

The ride over was filled with Jeno’s soft playlist. He always listened to it when he was studying or trying to nap because it kept him calm, so you were surprised to hear it in the car. When you asked about it, he told you that he liked to listen to it when he was driving at night. “It kept the calm ambience,” was his short explanation.

“Call me if you need a ride home, okay?” he asked once he was parked by the curb. “Or text me if you don’t. Just—let me know you’re okay, yeah?”

You rolled your eyes with a grin. “Yes, Jeno. Thank you for the ride.”

You didn’t hear his car drive off until the front door was open. Stepping inside, you immediately felt lost. It was loud, it was crowded, and it smelled like alcohol. Looking around, you tried to find a familiar face, but nobody was standing out.

“Y/N!”

Turning to your left, your eyes landed on Yeeun. She was wear a red, strapless dress that hugged her figure. Her makeup was simple, but it didn’t matter when she was as gorgeous as she was. Her eyes lit up when she saw what you were wearing before she hurried over.

“You decided to wear the dress!” she shouted.

“I did,” you said with a smile.

“Well, you look absolutely stunning. Come on, let’s get you a drink, and then I’ll introduce you to my friends!”

Alcohol was just what you needed to loosen up. Soon, you were joking around with Yeeun and her friends, and then you were dancing, and then you were taking shots, and then you were stumbling. Sorn handed you another shot glass, which you downed despite Yeeun telling you to slow down. You ignored her and kept drinking.

///

The first thing you noticed was the smell of the room. It was familiar, but you didn’t know how. Then, it was how stiff your body felt. Finally, the headache. Could it even be considered a headache? It felt like someone just kept stabbing your skull. When you opened your eyes, the room was dark. The clock on the nightstand said that it was almost eleven, though, which meant the blackout curtains were drawn.

So, you were in Jeno’s room.

You slowly rolled over and knocked into the boy, groaning as your head seemed to hurt even more. Slowly, you turned until you were facing him. Well, facing his back. He was facing away from you, snoring away. Without hesitation, you threw your arm over his waist and clung to him as you buried your face into the back of his neck, which woke him up.

“Hm, good morning,” he mumbled.

“Hurts,” you whined.

“Yeah, you were almost passed out by the time I got to the sorority. Thank Yeeun for calling me,” he replied.

“She called you?” you asked, your stomach clenching. Was it from the hangover?

“Yup. Honestly, I was pretty shocked to see her name pop up when my phone rang, but I’m glad. She was worried something would happen to you, but she trusted me to take care of you.” He rolled over, and you could barely make out his face. You did see a frown, though. “That’s the last time I try helping you change without exposing or touching anything. Who knew you’d be the kind of drunk that tries to strip?”

“Oh my god,” you whispered while hiding your face in his chest.

“My reaction exactly.”

“You didn’t see anything, did you?”

“No. I managed to stop you as you untied the second strap.”

With a groan, you rolled away and sat on the edge of the bed. He laughed before following you, squeezing your shoulder as he got up. He promised to make you breakfast and get you painkillers while you showered. You took your time in the bathroom, making sure not a single centimeter of your body felt dirty and gross. When you were done, you got dressed in the same t-shirt and sweatpants before heading into the kitchen.

Jeno was facing the stove, cooking some eggs and hash. When he heard you shuffle in, his turned around with a smile, but it dropped almost immediately. You frowned, unsure of why he looked at you like that. Shutting off the stove, he put his spatula down and walked over. He stopped in front of you before slowly bending down and capturing your lips in a soft kiss. You froze in shock before relaxing, your whole body melting under his touch. When he pulled away, you opened your eyes and raised your eyebrows.

“Oh,” you said.

“What?” he asked.

“Well, that makes sense.”

Letting out a surprised laugh, he questioned, “What makes sense?”

“I don’t know. It just—it makes sense! You kissing me just makes sense!”

“You’re so weird,” he said with a grin before leaning down to kiss you again.

There was a lot that still needed to be talked about. Neither of you could simply enter a relationship before talking about your feelings and going on dates, but you decided to push that to the back of your mind while you enjoyed kissing Jeno.

(”Can we keep this a secret from the guys for a little bit?”

“How come?”

“Well, I wanna see the look on Haechan’s face when he makes that joke about us dating.”

“I’m sorry, he does what?”)

[lomlmarvel]

It’ll Always Be You

Randall Carpio x fem!Reader Series

Part One :)

Sophomore year of college was said to be more relaxed and less stressful than the previous year. Although, for most people, the stress they referred to was being independent for the first time, being home-sick, finally being responsible for your own things and the start of adulthood. For you, all of those were included, but another event that made your year more interesting was joining the Knights. It wasn't something you had planned to happen; it just did.

You passed all the freshmen walking through the corridors with their parents and moving boxes. Some cried, others were ecstatic, and others were pushing their parents out. You had a take-out bag in one hand while the other held a drink carrier that you swiftly maneuvered away from people's bodies. Randall was meant to meet you a couple of minutes ago but said he got held up, showing a first-year student to his dorm and settling him in. You offered to meet him at the dorms, and that's how you ended in the freshmen building.

You were nearing the room number Randall had told you, and you could hear a male voice talking inside. 

"There's so much to experience, so much to taste. Don't let someone else define you. Don't waste this opportunity. Don't... touch my shit. Also, nice to meet you".

"You too."

As you were about to knock on the door, a tall guy in a white shirt walked out and looked around like it was his first time there. He basically ignored you as he continued walking down the hall. You poked your head in through the open door and saw Randall, who waved you to come in.

"I'm almost done. Sorry, Jack, that's my friend, (Y/N)" Randall said, introducing you as the mysterious guy in the middle of the room remained with his back to you. So, you looked down to let Randall finish his little speech.

"Any questions about changing roommates? No? Great. You lose your key. It's 75 bucks to replace it," Randall continued, standing up from his position.

"(Y/N)?" the mysterious unknown freshmen said. You looked up as his voice sounded familiar and saw the one and only Jack Morton.

"Jack? I didn't know you were coming to Belgrave!" You said, approaching him and pulling him in for a hug. He returned the hug and pulled away to look at your face.

"Wow, I haven't seen you since..." Jack replied, trying to think of the last time he saw you.

"Since my Grandma moved us away. Yeah, wow! It's so good to see you! How's Grandpa Pete?" You asked, completely forgetting about the other male in the room.

"He's good—stubborn, pushy, kind of a dick, like always. Do you remember? How's your Grandma?" Jack was then interrupted by the dark-haired male in the room.

"Wait, you guys know each other?" Randall asked, turning to look at you first, then Jack, then back at you. Randall could see the wide smile on your face that told him there was some history between you. 

"Yeah, we grew up in the same street. Went to school together until my Grandma forced us to move, and we just lost contact," You answered as you set the bag of food and drinks on the table nearby. 

"Wow, small world," Randall made a comment that you could tell was sarcastic, "Anyways, Jack. Here is your welcome package. It's got your map of campus," Randall pulled out his clipboard and handed Jack a stack of papers. "Complete with all-male, female, and non-binary bathroom locations. There's a bunch of coupons--"

"--for stuff, you'll never buy," You said to Jack, causing him to chuckle. Randall sent you a weird glance, which you returned.

 "There is a rape whistle and a 'How Not to Rape' pamphlet. Any questions?" Randall asked as he grabbed the take-out bag and handed you the drinks. He started moving towards the door as you stayed in the same location.

"Nope. But if you need a hand with anything, don't hesitate to ask," Jack replied with a smile on his face, causing you to laugh.

"I think I'm supposed to say that," Randall laughed as he grabbed your hand to pull you out of the room, but you pulled away.

"But seriously, Jack. If you need anything, you can ask Randall and if not, here's my number," You said, grabbing Randall’s pen, writing your number down on one of Jack’s paper and handing it back to him," It's really great to see you. I hope we can catch up soon," You stated, and Jack nodded.

"Yeah, for sure. I just have my orientation later, and maybe I'll send you a text after," Jack replied. You nodded and said goodbye as Randall managed to pull you out of the room. 

As soon as you reached the outside of the dorm building, you punched Randall on the shoulder. 

"Hey! What was that for!" He yelped, rubbing his upper arm with his free hand. You rolled your eyes at his obliviousness. Randall could tell that you noticed his change in attitude towards Jack once he saw you.

"You didn't have to be rude! We could've left like normal people," You stated. You kept walking alongside him. He looked perfect sporting khaki jeans, a black graphic tee, and a black sweater. He rarely wore anything other than sweats and a shirt. But since freshmen were moving in, he had to look 'professional.'

"What are you talking about? I like Jack; I wasn't rude," Randall quickly said, taking his hand and grabbing yours. You and Randall weren't dating. He was your best friend, and you were his. But he didn't act the same way with you than he did with Lilith. He always reached for your hand, always touching you, whether it was an arm around your shoulder, his hand on your legs when you would watch TV together, and you two cuddled regularly. You had feelings for Randall, of course, you did, but he didn't feel the same. He flirted with girls whenever you guys were at the Blade and Chalice, a restaurant/bar on campus. However, you liked it when he was affectionate; that's why you never said anything. Whenever he reached for your hand, your heart always accelerated; you could feel the blood rush to your cheeks, and the hairs on your arm stand up. 

"So, where do you want to go to eat this? Your place? The den? Or our place!" Randall asked, drifting the conversation from Jack to you two.

Randall wasn't jealous of Jack Morton. He had barely met the guy. What was bugging him, however, was the fact that you had never mentioned him before. He knew Jack was a friend, but there was something more; he just couldn't pinpoint it. Also, Randall Carpio wasn't a jealous type. He was confident, charming, and he knew how to tell a girl he was into her, but with you, it was different.

"Let's go to our place. We haven't been there in a while," you mentioned. He agreed, and the two of you began your walk to your destination.

'Your place' wasn't really yours, to begin with. It was no one’s. It was a big oak tree somewhere in the woods where you had run into Randall the first time you met him. You had been on a run and got distracted, which ended up with you getting lost in the woods and Randall finding you. You were confused about what he was doing in the woods, but you got to learn that information a few weeks later. Randall had offered to walk you back to campus, and you thanked him. The walk back wasn't uncomfortable or awkward; the two of you got to know each other and hit it off right away. The rest was pretty much history.

"So I was thinking about Jack and the Knights," Randall stated once the two of you sat down on the ground. You took out your food and handed Randall his.

"Yeah, I don't think so," you mumbled, taking a bite of your food.

"And why not?" Randall asked. You sent him a look, and he looked puzzled.

"First off, Lilith hates almost everyone, and I have a feeling she'll hate Jack. Two, Hamish is still pretty much getting used to me joining the Knights, and I've been here a while. Three, remember how hard it was to convince Hamish about me?" You pointed out. Randall agreed with your first point but then disagreed with the rest.

"No, that's not true. Hamish loves you! He prefers you over me," Randall fought back. The charming asshole knew what he was doing. He was kissing your ass so you could back him up if he ever decided to bring up Jack to the Knights.

"Look, let Jack settle in first, and then you can scout him for your little fantasy wolf pack," you replied. Randall smiled at your comment and bumped shoulders with you.

"You can't date him, though. Because then that'll be awkward," Randall got a boost of confidence in him as he said this. He wanted to ask about your history with Jack but didn't want to seem nosy or jealous.

"Yeah, not gonna happen. We were best friends growing up, but strictly platonic".

Randall couldn't help but smile at this revelation. He had been trying to tell you how he felt about you all year. However, he managed to convince himself to ask you out once school started. Still, he just hadn't had the chance even though you hung out almost every day.

"Hey, by the way, remember how I was wait-listed for Hamish's class? Well, I finally got a seat!" You told Randall who put his hand up for a high five. He clashed your hands together and smiled.

"That's right!" He exclaimed, holding onto your hand for a while. You smiled at his enthusiasm and chuckled. You loved that about Randall. He was always so supportive of anything you did. He was your personal cheerleader and confidant. He was your drinking buddy, study buddy, comforter, and anything you needed. He was the whole package. You just wished you had the guts to tell him so.

While you had been in your own thoughts. You hadn't noticed how close the two of you had gotten. You could feel his breath on your lips, and with each glance from his lips to his eyes, he seemed to be getting closer. This was it. This was the moment you had been waiting for since realizing your feelings for him. You parted your lips and tilted your head to align with his lips.

"Do you want me to walk you back to the den?" Randall asked, quickly jumping back and creating distance between the two of you. Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment, and you turned to pick up your trash.

"I totally forgot I have another freshman coming in. I also just want to do another round before I call it a day," Randall continued as you stood up.

"Uh... no, it's fine. I can walk myself," you replied, wiping your hands on your jeans. "Are you coming to the den later, or no?"

"I'm not sure. I'll let you know. If not, I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked. You nodded and said bye to him as you began walking in separate directions.

That had been weird. You were sure he was going to kiss you. But maybe he just got caught up in the moment and didn't actually feel anything romantic towards you. That broke your heart, but that's how it was sometimes.

Making his journey back to campus, Randall mentally kicked himself for being so close to finally doing what he's been wanting to do for a long time. Truthfully, he got scared. He was scared that you didn't reciprocate feelings for him and that it would ruin your friendship. But maybe, he got the courage to really tell you next time.

A/N: Will be writing the other parts soon and will updating them:)

[thefloorisbalaclava]

pragma - part eight

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Female Reader

Warnings: ANGST

A/N: I wanna thank @agentpike and @loki-098 for helping me out with my little dilemma in taking the story in this direction. It was tough because everything has been so soft and I was afraid to change it up but the words of encouragement from my buddies really helped!

I realized that I never specified if this story took place before or after that whole mission so...just keep that in mind as you read this! Also, this chapter starts in you POV and switches to Frankie’s. I marked it! As always, thanks for reading!

Summary: You face the first real test of the strength of your relationship with Frankie.

pragma masterlist

gif by @pascalplease​ 

“What happened to your hand?” you asked sitting up slightly. After dinner, you two had sat down on the couch to watch TV, but ended up just cuddling instead. He laid between your legs with his head on your shoulder—almost how you held him in the bath earlier.

“Ah, I was fixing something up at home. No big deal.” He shrugged and spread his fingers out.

“No big deal,” you scoffed bringing his hand to your lips to kiss each finger. “You should be more careful.”

“I’ll try,” he said.

“I mean…you’re not as young as you used to be…”

“Oh, you’re going there now?” he asked and you giggled, scratching at his scalp.

“Don’t worry, I love you…grey hairs and all.” You laughed louder as he turned his body so he could tickle you. “No Frankie!”

“You think I forgot about how ticklish you are? Huh?” He tickled you until you were out of breath and tears fell from your eyes from laughing so hard.

“That…was…mean,” you breathed.

“Yeah? Talking about my grey hair is too. My next move is throwing you over my shoulder, carrying you to the lake, and throwing you in.” He helped you sit upright and wiped the tears from the corners of your eyes.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would.” He kissed your lips but pulled away before you could deepen it. “But then I’d jump in right after you.”

“And do what?” you asked, your mouths so close that your lips touched his as you spoke. He kissed you and sighed.

“Probably that.”

“We could drown, you know?” You scratched at his scruff.

“Can’t think of a better way to go then with your arms wrapped around me.”

“Drowning is painful,” you pointed out.

“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please. Or do I have to tickle you again?” He put his hands up and you moved away from him.

“Nope!”

“Fine. Come here.” He pulled you to him then grabbed your butt making you yelp.

“Francisco Morales!” You reached around and did the same to him.

“Yours is better than mine.”

“I know.” You eventually let each other go and went back to cuddling. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yup.”

“Well, I was wondering if…there was someone…when I was gone?” You asked the question but dreaded the answer.

He sighed then nodded. “Yeah.” You nodded silently and smiled. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yup. I’m happy you weren’t lonely.” The first part was a lie and the second part was true.

“I was lonely though,” he admitted.

“But you said…”

“You can be with someone and still be lonely.” He sat up so he could look you in the eye. “I was with someone else but I wasn’t in love, you get it?”

“Yeah. I definitely get it.”

Frankie thought for a moment. “Did you love…him?”

“I thought I did. I gave him all of me and he gave me nothing but a ring and a bunch of bruises.” You felt Frankie tense at your words.

“Why didn’t you come back sooner. I could’ve helped. Santiago could’ve helped.”

“It wasn’t your problem to deal with.” You looked down at your hands.

“Problem? That piece of shit was beating you. That’s more than a fucking problem.” He was angry now. That’s not how you wanted this night to end.

“Look at me, Frankie.” You cupped his face. “It’s over now and I’m okay.” He turned his head so he could kiss your palm. “I’m okay.”

“I want you to be more than okay.” He pulled you onto his lap. “I never want you to be sad again. I just want to make you smile and laugh and…horny…,” he added and you laughed loudly.

“Oh…what am I gonna do with you, Francisco?” You locked your fingers at the nape of his neck and used your thumbs to play with the longer hairs there.

“Is that rhetorical? Because I actually have a lot of ideas for what you can do with me.” When you laughed again, he smiled brightly. “You know, that was one of the things I missed the most when you were gone…that laugh.”

“Nah, it’s obnoxious.”

“Is that what he told you ‘cause if so that just gives me another reason to make that fucker disappear.”

“I…I rarely laughed around him. I guess I just forgot what it sounds like." Your face fell but he was right there to make you smile again.

“I’ll just have to make you laugh everyday then, huh?”

“Hmm maybe.” You kissed him and pressed your body against his, writhing in his lap.

“You’re trouble,” he murmured against your lips.

“Me? You’re the one talking about making people disappear.”

“I meant like…magic, you know?” He wiggled his fingers. “Abracadabra.”

“So, you can do magic now? Is there anything you can’t do?” Your cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much.

“Yeah, there’s something I can’t do,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“I can’t get enough of you.” He smiled proudly and you rolled your eyes. “What?”

“That was so cheesy,” you teased and he pouted. “But I love it. I love cheesy! Come here.” He pulled back from you, still pouting but you kissed all over his face until he gave in. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Let’s promise each other something. We’ll never keep anything from each other even if we think it might hurt. I want us to be honest.” You thought you saw a quick flash of uneasiness on his face but he agreed.

“Okay. I promise.”

You smiled then kissed him.

FRANKIE’S POV

What she said echoed in Frankie’s mind as she stood and walked to the kitchen. We’ll never keep anything from each other even if we think it might hurt. He shook his head and pulled out his phone and, of course, there was a text from Pope.

Did u tell her yet?

“Want another beer?” she called from the kitchen.

“Yeah thanks.” His fingers hovered above the keyboard on the screen but before he could answer back, she walked back into the living room.

“Here you go. Talking to Pope?” she asked as she handed him a beer and sat back down.

“Yup, who else?” He laughed awkwardly before taking a sip.

“Everything okay?” She sipped her own beer.

“Everything’s great.”

“Are you staying tonight?” She laid down and put her legs over his lap.

“If you want me to.” He rubbed her legs with his free hand.

“You know I do.” They sat quietly for a moment and that must have made her uncomfortable. “Frankie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He smiled at her then winked. He couldn’t stand the tension either. “I love your legs.” There. Lighten the mood. Make her smile. He’d tell her in due time. He’d ask her in due time.

“They look better wrapped around you,” she said and he nearly choked on his beer.

“I can’t believe you just said that. What’s gotten into you?” he asked.

“You sure you want me to answer that?”

“You can always just show me…” His hand trailed up her leg but just before he could get to her, she grabbed his hand and kissed it.

“I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Seriously?” He watched her walk upstairs then sat back on the couch and closed his eyes. When he heard her turn the shower on, he felt it was okay to call Pope. He answered almost immediately.

“You tell her?” Pope asked excitedly.

“No…it’s not the right time. We just had a really great moment. I can’t ruin it with that.” Frankie picked at the label on the bottle.

“The longer you wait to tell her, the harder it’ll be, hermano.”

“Weren’t you the one rooting for us to get back together and now you wanna take me away from her?” He finished his beer in a few swallows then grabbed hers.

“Look, at least you’ll have a reason to get your ass home now. I need you on this.”

“Yeah but she needs me too. I can’t just come out and say I’m going to South America with Pope for something that might not even work out. I--"

“You’re going to South America?” she asked and Frankie froze. He turned slowly to look at her and she was still fully dressed.

“I thought you were—”

“What’s in South America?”

“Pope, I gotta go.” He hung up and stood to walk over to her.

“I need you to answer me, Frankie. What the hell is going on?”

“Nothing, I just…Pope has this wild idea. The details aren’t important.” He put his hands in his pockets and shook his head. “I was gonna tell you…”

“When? How long have you two been planning this?”

“A few weeks.” He couldn’t lie to her. “I’m not even sure I wanna go yet especially now since…”

“Am I just a little fling you needed to have before you went on your little mission?”

“What? No. You know damn well you’re more than that.” He reached out to her but she moved away. “I fucking love you. Haven’t I proven that to you?”

“You sat right there on that couch and promised you wouldn’t keep things from me and you were.” Her voice cracked and she hugged herself. If she had only walked downstairs a few moments later. He was going to tell Pope that he needed to ask her first. She had as big a role in his decision as he did.

“I need you to listen…”

“I am listening.” She wiped a tear away angrily. He wished he could kiss them away. What happened to only making her smile and laugh? He already failed at that.

“Please don’t cry, hermosa."

“Don’t tell me not to cry, Frankie. I’m upset and rightfully so. You were hiding this from me for weeks. Don’t you think I deserve to know?”

“Yeah, because you gave me the same courtesy when you left me for years,” he snapped.

“That’s not fair.”

“I’d be gone for a few weeks at the most. I’m sure you’d be able to handle that.” He let the pain that he had tucked away come back to the surface. By the look on her face, his words had hit their mark.

“So, you decided already?” Her voice broke his heart into a million pieces. He could only imagine what her heart felt like. She put a hand over it and sat down on the stairs as if everything became too much. “Why would…how could he…” She was mumbling and when he tried touching her again, she snapped. “Please don’t fucking touch me!”

“I…I’m…”

“Sorry?” she finished for him. “Is Pope sorry too?”

“You didn’t hear the whole thing,” he pointed out. “I asked him why he would take me away from you when we…we just found each other again.”

“No…Frankie.” She shook her head. “You can say no. It us your decision.”

“I know…”

“But you can’t say no to him, can you?” She smiled at him even as tears fell from her eyes.

“You think this is easy for me? I’ve been going back and forth in my head about this for weeks.”

“Yes! For weeks! I was right here! You could’ve talked to me!” She pointed at herself then covered her face.

“Let me hold you. Please,” he begged. “I need to. I need it.”

“That’s a bad idea,” she cried. “If you hold me now, I’d never want you to let go…but you’ll have to, won’t you?”

He sat beside her without touching her. If he touched her, he would feel everything—her pain, her sadness, her anger—and he was already feeling enough. But she reached out for him instead. She touched him. His heart broke and put itself back together again all at once.

“You’re going, aren’t you?” She touched his cheek and he looked her in the eye. He had no voice. If only she knew what kind of power she had in her touch alone. He only put his hand over hers and closed his eyes as he leaned into her touch. Something to remember. A reason to come home.

Eventually she took her hand away and he was left feeling empty. It’s exactly how he felt when he woke up all those years ago only to find that she was gone and never coming back. But this time he was doing the leaving. Even without him saying a word, she knew.

“Will you come home to me?” she asked tearfully.

“I didn’t say I was going…” he started.

She knew.

“Just tell me you’ll come home.”

All at once, any semblance of control he had left was gone, and he cried. It wasn’t the first time he cried in front of her but this time it felt more real. All too real.

“He has nothing to lose,” he said, “But I do.” Could he handle losing her again? What if he came back and she wasn’t there?

“Is that what you two were meeting up in the bar about when I showed up?” she asked and he nodded slowly. “I came back at the wrong time.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t you fucking dare. You came back right when I needed you to.” This time he wouldn’t let her stop him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her like he would never see her again. “Don’t leave me again.” He sounded like a frightened child.

“I’m not the one leaving this time, Frankie…”

“But…when I come back…you’ll be here?” He hated how long she took to respond.

“Where would I go?” she asked. That wasn’t the response he was looking for. He just wanted her to say that she would be there.

“I’m scared,” he confessed.

“Me too. I kinda don’t know how to live without you now.” She covered her face and sobbed as he held her. “No one should have this kind of power over me,” she cried.

“Especially someone like me.”

“Shut up, Frankie.” She sniffled and cleared her throat. “If you’re going then we better make the most of the time we have left together.”

“I…don’t have to go,” he said.

“Of course you do.”

“Tell me not to go to South America and I won’t.” He said it with such confidence but didn’t feel it at all.

She pulled away from him and held his face in her hands. “Frankie, baby, you’re already there.”

The kiss she gave him lingered on his lips long after she left him sitting on the stairs. She was probably sleeping now. He hoped that she would dream of a happier time.

He eventually made his way upstairs and to her bedroom. She slept peacefully, one hand on the pillow he slept on as if she was touching him. His heart broke all over again but he willed his tears away. That spot beside her would be empty at some point, but not right now.

After undressing, he got in bed trying his best not to wake her. He wouldn’t be able to handle looking into those sad eyes again tonight. Just as he settled in, she draped her arm over him and snuggled up against him. He stared at the ceiling before getting the courage to turn his head and look at her. When she slept there was no worry etched into her features. She was relaxed, content, but when she woke up again it would all come back and it was all his fault.

“I love you,” he whispered to her sleeping form. He watched her sleep and hoped tomorrow would be a little better. Right now, he just wanted to remember what she looked like when she slept beside him. He wanted to remember her. The good memories would be the ones he took with him but what was he leaving for her? If things did go wrong in South America, what would he be leaving behind for her to remember him by?

He moved carefully, reaching to the floor to find his pants to find the phone in his pocket. He looked through the pictures he took of her and the ones she sent him of them together. The smile on his face grew the more he looked at the pictures. He made the one of her kissing his cheek the background on his phone then he turned and looked at her again. The moonlight coming through the window bathed her in a beautiful, hazy blue. He took a picture.

Turning on his side, he traced the lines of her face gently then kissed her forehead. A small smile played on her lips and he kissed them. He wasn’t sure how he would live without kisses from her for however long he’d be away but he would remember. He would take every kiss he ever shared with her and tuck it away in his memories. Every smile, every laugh, her…those memories were all his to keep.

And since he had broken her heart tonight, his heart would be hers to keep as long as he was away…as long as she wanted it. He knew as long as she kept it safe, he would be as well.

[nine]

Tags: @cable-kenobi​ @saltywintersoldat​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @pedrosdoll​ @psychobillybunny​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @keeper0fthestars @mrsparknuts​ @thinemineours​ @huliabitch @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @lavenderl3mons​ @mrscrain-x7​ @fioccodineveautunnale​ @gooddaykate @themilkface @tiffdawg​ @ms-dont-care​ @mus1caln0tes​ @awesomefandomsunited​ @seawhisperer​ @virtualxjournality​ @badassbaker​

[fanficflaneuse]

One Day - Part 4

A/N: Hello magical tumblr friends, this chapter is long and has a little bit of everything. I hope you like it. Thanks for all of your love and support. It really means the world to me. This doesn’t feature a poem, but rather a very real problem of mine and my writing. I hope you like this!

Disclaimers: One or two curse words. Mentions of making out and stripping - just in passing -  (not smut) 

Details: 

Draco x reader (she/her pronouns) 

Word count: 2563 (I’m sorry, I really don’t know how this happened) 

Summary: One day AU. Post-war. Since The Battle of Hogwarts, Draco and y/n meet one day a year.

Masterlist 

3 May, 2001

(Y/N) and Draco apparated in the kitchen of a beach house in Playa del Carmen, México. Even though their abode was protected by a fidelius charm, they arrived at the break of dawn to avoid any sort of attention. (Y/N) walked through the airy living room and stood just in front of the wall sized window that lead to the beach. She stared in awe at the clear sand and the crystalline waters that stretched to infinity. This was their own private paradise for a week. Draco hugged her from behind and rested his chin on her head.

“It’s impressive, isn’t it?” he asked, absolutely taken by the view.

“It is, Dray,” she answered as she put her hands softly over his.

They had chosen a tropical destination mainly because Draco wanted to prove to her that he could tan. Upon hearing this, Blaise offered them his house in that vibrant Caribbean town. It had belonged to one of his – many – late stepfathers and nobody had used it in years, but it was well kept, modern and safe from noisy muggles and nosy wizards and witches. Blaise thought he was playing cupid by giving them the keys and Draco was both flustered and annoyed as he wiggled his eyebrows at them. (Y/N) had laughed it off, which confused Draco immensely.

He fell on a loop, overthinking for the thousandth time what could her laugh possibly mean. Was it meant to be playful? Did it mean she thought the possibility of them together was outrageous? What if it wasn’t, though? He definitely fancied her. He had fancied her even before holding her in his arms was a possibility. But he had blown up so many things in his life before. Everything he touched turned to dust. He was convinced he wasn’t good enough for her and he loved her too much to lose her friendship. If (Y/N) told him she was willing to start a relationship with him, he wouldn’t know what to do. Had been stuck in this hypothetical dilemma for the longest time and it was frustrating. He was pulled out of his thoughts by (Y/N), who shuffled in his embrace. She turned around so carefully his arms never left her waist. Her hands wrapped around his neck. Her fingers played with the little strands of hair on the nape of his neck.

Draco’s grey hues met (Y/N)’s mesmerizing (eye colour) ones. He smiled softly. She smiled back, but he noticed her features were dampened with concern.

“What’s wrong, Dray?”

He tightened the grip around her and offered her a smirk. “It’s nothing, (Y/N/N). I was just thinking.”

“Alright, then,” she answered, not very convinced, “why don’t we go to the beach?”

...

Draco discarded his turtleneck and trousers. Standing in his boxers in the middle of the room, he held at arm length the swimming trunks Harry had taken him to buy. They were just a looser version of his briefs, made of a dreadful material Draco had never even heard of. What, in Merlin’s name, was polyester? He scrunched his nose in disgust, but quickly scrambled into them as he heard (Y/N) knocking at the door.

They had tacitly agreed to sleep in the same room. She had barricaded herself in the bathroom to put on her own swimming suit. He wondered what she’d wear. At the muggle store he went with Harry, Draco had seen a bunch of items for women. He had gotten flustered, imagining (Y/N) in one of those. And he was getting hot and bothered again. He let himself fall, face down, onto the bed. “I’m ready,” he said, his voice muffled. 

He heard the door opening and her footsteps as she came back into the room. She chuckled lightly as she saw him on his stomach, his face hidden in his hands. (Y/N) did a double take on him before he stood up. His arse looked amazing and his back was incredibly toned. The black trunks made a nice contrast with his incredibly pale skin. She bit her lower lip and looked away, trying to dissipate those thoughts and the tingling in her stomach. As her gaze settled out of the window, at some point in the horizon, Draco decided to move. His eyes rested on (Y/N)’s figure.

Nothing, not even his wildest dreams, would’ve prepared him for the sight of (Y/N) on an emerald green swimming suit. It was the least clothes he had ever seen on her and he just couldn’t tear his eyes away. Salazar, coming here alone with her could either be the best or worst idea ever.

(Y/N) felt his eyes glued on her and blushed profusely. She then faced him. For a minute there neither of them knew what to do. (Y/N) took a deep breath, walked forward and intertwined her fingers with his. Then she practically dragged him out of the house and into the sea.

They spent all day under the sun. They swam, splashed each other and walked by the seashore. They sat under the sun for a while, enjoying the salt on their skins until it turned too hot and overwhelming. Then they moved to the porch, staring at the sea and checking each other out when they thought the other was distracted.

Throughout the day, (Y/N) noticed how Draco would stare at his left forearm for the longest time. At first, she would bring his attention to something else and they would goof around or talk. At lunchtime, though, Draco put on a sweater with sleeves so long they reached his fingertips. It was a horrible sweater, so out of character for Draco, and it looked even more outrageous given the weather that had her bones sweating.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Dray.”

He hung his head, defeated. “I…”

“No need to explain, love. I know it’s hard. But this,” she pushed the left sleeve up and Draco winced, but she continued, “this is part of your story. This is part of what has brought you here. And you have to accept it. Just like every other wonderful little bit of you. You need to live with this and forgive yourself, Dray”

Draco nodded, fighting off tears. (Y/N) took his face in her hands and give him a kiss on both cheeks. He smiled softly and took the sweater off. They cooked lunch together. Draco had been trying to learn how to cook for himself. So far he had managed to master a decent number of recipes and techniques. Cooking and baking reminded him of potions class and he loved it.

After lunch, they sat down on the sofa. There was a lot of space in the living room and yet, (Y/N) sat in between Draco’s legs, her back pressed to his chest, her head on his shoulder…a position much too familiar for them.

“I want to stay like this forever,” he said quietly, bringing her closer to him.

“Me too. I really don’t want to go back,” she answered, closing her eyes.

“We don’t have to,” he offered.

“I do. I have work to do.”

Draco sighed in response. “What is it that you do at the Ministry? What’s so important that you can’t enjoy more than one week of vacations?”

“A copious amount of paperwork,” she groaned. The Ministry was going through a series of reforms that took a lot of time and effort to put in practice. Hermione was ecstatic. (Y/N) knew it was all worth it, but she would be lying if she said her work hadn’t turned monotonous over the last few months.

“That sounds absolutely inspiring,” he said, sarcasm seeping through his every word. (Y/N) chuckled and hit his arm playfully. 

“I thought you wanted to become a writer,” he added as an afterthought. (Y/N) blushed, feeling a bit exposed. She kept writing and Draco knew that. There was something painful about her writing, though. It was much too raw and took her back to pain and suffering. At times, whenever she sat down to write, the whole ordeal would leave her in tears. She couldn’t bring herself to be as consistent as before. She didn’t even want to contemplate the possibility of making a living out of it.

“It’s still an idea…” the vagueness in her voice made Draco regard her seriously. He pushed her just slightly so they could – kind of – face each other. (Y/N) tried to divert her gaze, but he put his hand on her cheek and made her look at him. Draco had expressive eyes. This time they were full of concern.

“(Y/N/N), is this because of money? Because I can –“

(Y/N) shook her head. She wouldn’t even let him finish. “I don’t need your money, Dray. You know that’s not the issue.” She wanted to turn the page, change topics as soon as possible, but Draco was not having any of it. They talked about his issues. He opened up to her and she would always offer words of comfort, support and cuddles. He wanted to do the same for her. He noticed how sometimes she would just close up, isolate herself. She’d try to brush her problems off. But he wouldn’t let her do that, not this time, not again.

“Then what’s the issue, (Y/N)?” he kept his hand on her cheek, knowing very well (Y/N) would try to escape, shrug it off and distract him. He then saw her eyes filling with tears. It was his moment to inch forward and shower her in affection.

“I’ve been involved in dangerous situations since I’m a toddler, Draco. My life at school consisted in avoiding death year after year. I can’t stay put. I need to feel like I’m doing something that’s bigger than myself. I need that rush.”

Draco’s fingers caressed her cheek. She was indecipherable at times. He knew there was much more than what she led on, but he didn’t want to push her.

“Besides, I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts more than what’s necessary,” (Y/N) muttered to herself, avoiding his gaze once again.

Draco was so close he heard clearly. He felt his heart tearing, just like that night, three years ago, when she had whispered to him and only him that she was broken. He made her face him again and, without a second thought, Draco leaned in. They both closed their eyes as their lips touched. It was a ghost of a kiss, tender and soft. It was everything they wished for and so much more; it felt natural and so, so good. 

...

By the time (Y/N) and Draco reached the bedroom, they had left a trail of clothing behind them. They kissed and giggled and caressed each other. Her legs were wrapped around his torso, fingers laced in his blond locks. His own hands made their way through her back, trying to unclasp her bra.

After their kiss, they had cuddled all afternoon. They hadn’t mentioned it again and they were both determined to leave it at that. That was, of course, before they decided to go to a muggle bar and get tipsy with margaritas. When they came back, their drunken laughter filled the whole house. As the alcohol pumped through their veins they both felt bolder and uninhibited. The rush clouded their minds and ridded them of any sort of judgement.  

(Y/N) stole their first drunken kiss. They were sprawled on the floor playing a game of strip wizard chess. Every time one of them lost a piece, they had to take an item of clothing off. As Draco slid his shirt off, (Y/N) crawled to him and kissed him. He growled lowly as his best friend bit his lower lip and they both felt the heat raising in the pit of their stomachs. He wanted her then and there, even more when she was being such a tease. As she laughed and tried to go back to her side, Draco caught her by the waist and pulled her back to him.

Draco tried to place (Y/N) in bed, but he was so woozy he fell with her. After laughing for their clumsiness, they laid on their sides, facing each other. Draco put a strand of hair behind (Y/N)’s ear. She traced his features with her fingertips. As she did so, he closed his eyes, enjoying her caresses as always.

(Y/N) found Draco absolutely beautiful. She was nothing short of in love with him. As that thought downed on her, (Y/N)’s desire stopped burning her. She lost momentum and withdrew her hand. She didn’t want this to be a spurt of the moment, drunken mistake. She wanted to be with Draco. Circe! She wanted to be with Draco. She was in love with him. (Y/N) sat up. How would this realization change their dynamic?  

Draco opened his eyes immediately. The loss of contact had sobered him up. Had she realized he was a tosser who wasn’t worth her affection? Was it because of the mark? He sat up as well, searching for her eyes. The look he gave her was so full of mortification that she enveloped him in a hug.

“Dray…” she said after a few minutes of a deafening silence, “I don’t want this to be a one-night type of thing. I want to…be with you. I’d love to be with you. But it would break my heart if tomorrow we wake up and we realize that’s not what you…”

Draco’s gears were turning in his head. He felt as though he would combust right then and there. He took her face in his hands for the second time that day and looked at her in the eyes.

“(Y/N/N), what we have is way too pure, too good to be true. It’s the best thing I have going on for me, the best friendship I’ve ever had. I don’t want to ruin it as I tend to do with everything. I prefer to be your friend forever than your boyfriend for a couple of months. I want to think of you as my soulmate destined to be my best friend than a girlfriend I’ll end up hurting.”

(Y/N) fought back tears. “But I love –“

“I wouldn’t be able to handle it, love. If we broke up…if I fucked this up…if we didn’t want to see each other again”

They were both crying now. The silence was unbearable. (Y/N) kissed Draco on both cheeks before giving him a peck on the lips. Then she stood up, determined to not share a bed with him anymore.

…

(Y/N) closed her eyes. She decided to sleep on the farthest room she could find. Luckily enough, Blaise’s house was huge, so she had plenty to choose from. She had been trying to fall asleep for about an hour now, but she just couldn’t. The weight of her realization was drowning her. Then there was Draco’s rejection. She didn’t even want to begin addressing that issue.

A knock on the door interrupted her train of thoughts.

“Can I come in?” Draco’s voice was hoarse and a bit unsure.

No response.

“(Y/N), can I come in?” he almost pleaded.

“Yes,” she breathed out.

Draco rushed into the room. In three strides he was looming over her form, eyes imploring for forgiveness. (Y/N) sighed. She lifted up the covers. Draco slithered in the bed and pressed his body to hers. They were soon cuddling again.

“You don’t ruin things, Dray.” 

(Y/N) wanted to add that he would never hurt her, but kept quiet.

“I love you, (Y/N/N).”

“Love you, Dray.”

tags: @fandomscombine @okaydraco @naomi02hook @iliketoast23

[demisexualemmaswan]

the story can resume (1/???)

Summary: "The story can resume. ... I will return. Find you, love you, marry you and live without shame.”

An unfortunate misunderstanding caused by secrets and naivety forces a young couple to be torn from each other far too soon. It's up to Henry Nolan to put the clues together and right the wrong he has caused his sister and the man she loves most.

Inspired by the book/film Atonement for the Captain Swan Movie Marathon.  

A/N: Hello! It's my turn to post for the Captain Swan Movie Marathon. This is inspired by the book/film Atonement and also just me wanting to see Jen in that green dress. If you've seen the movie, you know the one. 

I put this in the tags on Ao3, but Henry will be a narrator for most of the events in this story, but this is at its core a Captain Swan story. There will be exactly one chapter with smut and I'll let you know where that is when it gets posted. 

If you know how Atonement ends and you're wondering if this is going to end differently for our lovers the answer is...well I'm not going to give you the answer in the first chapter now am I? You'll have to keep reading to find out. 

Special thanks to @kmomof4, @hollyethecurious, @teamhook and all of the CSMM discord group for keeping me motivated, and to @jarienn972 for being a wonderful beta!! 

@captainswanmoviemarathon let’s do this! 

[Read on Ao3]

--

It was the loud argument down the hall that woke Henry up. Over the past year, it’d been so quiet that he’d often slept in much to the chagrin of his parents. But today, loud and angry voices seemed to carry themselves down the hall. 

Peeking his head out into the hallway, he could see his father standing in front of his sister’s room.

“Emma, really,” Leopold Nolan, his father, huffed as he looked down at something in his hands.

In spite of himself, Henry couldn’t help but grin. If his father was yelling at his sister, it meant Henry’s older sister, Emma, was home to be yelled at. 

“A third? I spent all that money for you to go away and you earn yourself a third? You could’ve become a secretary and made it all so much easier on us.” 

So he must be looking at Emma’s marks. 

“I’m sorry, was Oxford supposed to be easy?” his sister, Emma, snapped. As Henry crept closer to his sister’s room, she was brushing her hair as she looked in the mirror. 

Henry only had two older siblings: his older sister and their eldest brother, David. Emma had been away at school for the past year and Henry had missed her fiercely. In the letters she wrote him, she’d made it more than clear that she hated school and would much prefer being at home with him.

“You try sitting in a classroom with a bunch of men--including the professor--who don’t think you deserve to be there and then you see if you can get higher than a third, Father.”

He had to put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing. Henry liked it better when Emma was home too. She was his closest friend, his confidant, and he had no secrets with her, despite being ten years her junior. When he was younger, she would make up games and scavenger hunts for him to do during the day. She had been the one to teach him to read and write, and he wrote stories about their adventures.

It was the thing that had turned him on to writing, and he wanted to make her proud by writing a book one day.

“And I’m sure you spent all your time studying, Emma,” her father said wryly. “You do nothing but laze about when you’re here, so I’m sure you brought that same attitude with you to Oxford.” 

“I have the degree, don’t I?” Emma responded cheekily, dabbing some blush on her cheeks. “You don’t need me to be smart. You just need me to be pretty. You’ve told me that plenty of times.”

“Well we thought sending you to university would land you a husband, but clearly you failed in that regard as well!” 

Emma turned to face him, her face twisted in anger, but then it relaxed upon seeing Henry. She opened her arms to him and he rushed forward into them eagerly.

“You’re back!” Henry cried happily, tightening his arms around her.

“Yes, Killian and I got back last night,” Emma hummed, holding him close to her.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Henry demanded, pulling back a little.

“I tried, you wouldn’t stir,” Emma laughed, tapping his nose. Henry rolled his eyes and tried to wriggle away now. He was thirteen, and he was far too grown up for such things, even if he’d missed his sister terribly when she was away at university. 

“Where’s Killian?” Henry asked eagerly.

“With Liam, I’m sure,” Emma promised, smiling up at him. “You should congratulate him. He’s gotten a first.”

“I should hope so with all the money I’ve put into that boy,” Leopold grumbled.

“You should be more pleased. Now you can show him off as your biggest triumph and your biggest example of philanthropy,” Emma said icily to her father. Her green eyes flashed with something Henry didn’t quite understand, and he thought that maybe Emma was angry with Killian for how well he’d done. 

Their eldest brother, David, had gotten a first at Oxford and was a great success in the business world. Since then, their father had expected all of his children to be the same. Even though she never said it out loud or even would write it down, Henry knew that their father’s scornful words hurt Emma. He hugged her a little tighter, which earned a scoffing noise from their father. She was smart about other things that their father could never understand, and Henry hoped that she knew that. 

“You’re nearly a man, Henry. There’s no need for that.”

“He hasn’t seen me since my last holiday, you can give him a break,” Emma answered, her green eyes still blazing. 

Henry pulled back, biting his lip as he looked in between his father and his sister. 

Emma sighed, folding her hands in her lap. Keeping her tone light, she added, “Go on. Go find Killian. I’m sure you have a lot to tell him about school, and he practically lived in the library so he probably has a lot to tell you too!” 

“And tell Liam he’s to pick David and his friends up from the train at quarter past 11!” his father barked. “He can take the car and if there’s so much as a scratch on it, he won’t get paid for two weeks!” “Can I go with him?” Henry asked excitedly.

“Henry, there won’t be room, don’t be a nuisance,” their father scolded. “David’s bringing his fiancée and some friends.” Turning away, he muttered, “Maybe one of them will be actually invested in marrying Emma.”

It was only when Leopold was out of sight and sound that Emma’s rigid posture loosened and she buried her face in her hands for a moment. “I’m all right,” she mumbled when Henry hugged her again. “Just tired.” Still, she leaned her head against Henry’s for a moment. “It’s so good to see you, Henry. I missed you when I was at school, little brother.”

“I missed you too,” Henry mumbled, childishly cuddling into her for a moment. “And that’s younger brother to you.” 

She smiled for a moment at the familiarity of the exchange, before she grimaced again. Their father’s presence still hung heavy in the room even though he was long gone. “Was he all right?” Emma asked, her eyes flickering to the doorway where their father had just been standing. “While I was away?”

“He mostly left me alone, occasionally would come in and do his whole thing if I got a bad mark,” Henry said with a shrug. Emma looked up at him worriedly and he tried to soothe her, “It was fine really. The tutors are working on it, and I am improving. I can handle him yelling at me. Although when he threatened to burn my manuscript...that was the worst.”

“He did what?” Emma demanded, standing up abruptly and rushing to the door as if to follow their father. 

“He didn’t actually burn it!” Henry assured her quickly, running to her side. He neglected to tell his sister that their father had held the manuscript over the open flame and that the back cover was singed. “He said that fairy stories were going to rot my brain, and that he wouldn’t stand having a sissy for a son.” Emma’s jaw clenched and the fire in her eyes returned as she glowered down the hallway where their father had last been. 

Henry felt himself getting more and more upset as he watched her. He was supposed to be a man, yet he couldn’t even stand up to his father, and Emma seemed more than willing to fight his battles for him. He didn’t want that either! He looked down, trying to hide the tears prickling in his eyes.

“Henry,” Emma said gently, kneeling before her brother. She put her hand on his shoulder gently. “Father doesn’t understand that you have a wonderful gift in both your imagination and writing. We need more people like you in the world who create rather than destroy.” He sniffled and she gently rubbed his shoulder. “What made him give it back?”

“It’s a wedding present,” Henry sniffled. “For David and Mary Margaret. I wanted to have it finished before the wedding.”

Emma smiled tenderly. “And I’m sure they’ll love it,” she murmured encouragingly. “Maybe you could read an excerpt at dinner? Once Father sees it’s for David and David loves it, I’m sure he’ll leave well enough alone.” Henry’s body shuddered, even as Emma gently wiped his tears away with her thumb. 

“And what if he hates it and he takes it away and burns it?” Henry mumbled softly, taking in a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. “I always get so nervous in front of Father and I feel like my tongue is stuffed in my mouth and--” 

He stopped as Emma placed something in his hand. “A mint?” he asked curiously, rolling the plastic wrap against his fingers. “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Keep it in your pocket,” Emma told him, gently tapping his nose. “When you get nervous, start playing with the mint. Focus on the mint and nothing else, and then there won’t be any room for you to be nervous. It’s a trick that one of my tutors gave me at uni, and now I’m passing it on to you.” 

Henry beamed at her and she kissed his forehead. “Now, go off and see Killian,” Emma encouraged. “He really has missed you.” 

Henry wrapped his arms around his sister one more time. Emma cradled him close for a moment, kissing the top of his head. With a soft smile, she let him go and gently shooed him out of her room. 

The hustle and bustle of the house was a familiar melody to Henry, though everything seemed intensified, not only by the arrival of David and his friends, but--as Henry heard as he maneuvered through the halls--the quite unexpected arrival of his cousins, Ava, Nicholas and Jack were adding more chaos to the day, given Emma and Killian’s arrival the night before, and David’s arrival within the hour. 

“--well yes of course they’re getting a divorce. Shameful really.”

“I heard he was caught in flagrante with another man. She should’ve been a better wife and then they wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Hush, don’t let Master Henry hear you!” “Oh please... He wouldn’t know what that means even if he had heard me.”

The conversation all but floated around his ears, even if he didn’t quite understand what exactly the servants were talking about as he tidied up the guest room. Not that it mattered much when his main purpose was finding Liam. 

Liam was head groundskeeper of the Nolan estate, and Killian’s older brother. And if Henry could find Liam, he’d easily find Killian. Their father had taken in Liam and Killian when the two were just boys.

Well, actually, it was really Emma who’d convinced her father to take in the two Jones Brothers. Killian had tried to steal Emma’s coat when she was walking home from school, but she had promptly knocked Killian flat on his back. And maybe broke his nose while she was at it. They’d only been eight at the time. 

She’d escorted him to the hospital and when it came up that Killian’s only guardian was Liam, who was thirteen at the time, Emma wouldn’t hear of the two brothers going back home. She all but insisted that they stay with the Nolans. Leopold had been absolutely furious with Emma at first, but both boys had proven themselves to be smart and hardworking, and Leopold relented. 

David and Liam were quite close given that they were the same age, though David and Liam were not nearly as close as Emma and Killian were. Liam had always strictly adhered to the social status between them. The Jones were never fully adopted by Leopold, there were certainly expectations of blood purity for the Nolans that needed to be upheld, or at least that’s what Henry’s father always said when he asked.

Still, the boys got to live at the Nolan house, and Leopold had covered both Killian and Liam’s university tuitions. Liam was simply biding his time as head groundskeeper until Leopold had room to take him on at the firm.   

Emma and Killian, on the other hand, had been inseparable ever since that fateful day. Things like chores and expectations had often kept them apart physically during their days, but the two were in sync and often not found to be too far from each other. If Killian was working in the garden, it was not unexpected to find Emma reading there. If Emma was riding her horse, Killian was working on the paddock fence.

It must be nice to have a best friend like that, Henry thought with a sigh. He’d often yearned for a secret Jones sibling his own age would pop up out of nowhere when he was younger. Liam and Killian treated him like their younger brother, which Henry supposed was enough, but he often felt lonely seeing David and Liam and Emma and Killian hang out together. There was simply no one his age at the home, and all young people hit a certain point in their lives where they do not want a child toddling around after them. 

Ava and Nicholas were his age, but they were bossy and decidedly not very much fun at all. They often bossed him around or bullied him when they came over and whenever he complained to his mother, she told him that they were just having a hard time. His father’s advice was to man up.

And so Killian had taught him a good left punch and a right hand uppercut which mostly left the matter lie, at least where Nicholas was concerned. As much as he wanted to, he could not uppercut his cousin Ava. 

The memory of boxing lessons with Killian had Henry in a good mood, though he was starting to wonder if Killian hadn’t even woken up yet. He’d turned the corner heading toward the servant’s kitchen, when he heard Liam’s voice.

“Killian, you promise nothing happened?” 

“Bloody hell, Liam. Of course nothing happened. I’m just tired. It was a long ride home.”

“You just don’t seem excited to be home, that’s all.” There was a pause, followed by a soft clink of a mug. “You’d tell me if something happened, wouldn’t you, little brother?” 

“Of course. And that’s younger brother to you, Liam.” Henry was sure that Killian was more than used to Liam’s fussing and motherhenning since Liam had never shirked in his duty as Killian’s guardian, even when they moved into the Nolan residence. 

“Smothering” was what Emma called it. 

Though there was an affectionate note to Killian’s voice that would’ve been in place of his usual exasperation. Killian hated being called the little brother in his youth, something Henry had copied out of admiration for Killian. 

Emma had once called it adorable and Henry did not speak to her for a whole day because he was not adorable, thank you very much. Though not talking to Emma for that day had been very painful for him because Emma was his favorite person in the house. 

Most of the time. 

Henry crept closer to the kitchen door to try and get a better listen to the brothers’ conversation, but Killian caught his eye and smirked into his cup of tea. “Lad, you know what pirates do to eavesdroppers, don’t you?” 

Henry rolled his eyes playfully and stepped into the kitchen. “I’m not a child anymore, Killian,” he replied. “You can’t threaten to throw me into the brig anymore. That doesn’t work.” Still, he was grinning from ear to ear. “Welcome home, Killian. I missed you.” 

“Aye, so it seems you’ve grown indeed, lad. I swear you’ve grown a foot since Christmas,” Killian chuckled, pushing some of his breakfast toward Henry. “Go on, you can finish that. Knowing you, you stayed up writing and missed breakfast.”

“Has the family taken breakfast yet?” Henry asked, almost immediately digging into the food. “I only woke up because Father was yelling at Emma about her marks.”

“We haven’t been home a full day yet and he’s already laying into her about her marks?” Killian asked, getting up halfway out of his chair. Liam cleared his throat pointedly and Killian slowly sat back down into the chair. 

“Well go on, you can’t announce the event and not give us any of the juicy details,” Liam goaded Henry, glancing at Killian briefly. “You know the best way to get ourselves extra sweets is to come into the kitchen with a little bit of gossip. We’ll split the bounty three ways,” he murmured conspiratorially.  

“Well it wasn’t anything new in terms of what he tells us when we don’t perform the way he wants us to. That we’re lazy or that we’re failures. I don’t know why you all would find that interesting, you’ve heard him say it to each of us at least once a day,” Henry replied nonchalantly, reaching for a napkin to clean up after himself. “Oh, except for that he only paid for her to get her degree so that she could go find a husband.” 

Killian’s hand tightened around the handle of his cup of tea and his jaw clenched, his eyes flashing for the briefest of moments. His eyes darted to the doro and they lingered there before he gave his head a quiet shake. Henry happily kept on eating, glad to be moving past it as Killian seemed to be thinking something over. 

The storm behind Killian’s eyes seemed to break as he turned to the young boy. “So tell me, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. What’s your latest work about?” he teased Henry, who only rolled his eyes goodnaturedly at the jibe. 

“You know, Killian, it would be a much better nickname if I actually wrote any mysteries,” Henry replied. 

“And if he hadn’t died within the last few years,” Liam replied, clearing the plates away.

“What? Too soon?” Killian joked. Seriously, he turned to Henry and added, “You know, Doyle hated the Sherlock Holmes works but they were his most popular ones. He wrote plenty of historical works as well.”

“Well, my work is not a mystery or historical,” Henry protested. “So your nickname still doesn’t work.”

“I swear, you must be taking arguing lessons from Emma,” Killian chuckled fondly into his tea. Henry thought that was a very odd thing for him to say, only to be distracted when Liam produced three berry crumbles for the three of them to share.

[imaginesforjohnnydepp]

Moving On

@takemepedropascal

 (Summer 2012)

Evangeline Cheval finally unpacked her last box for her new bedroom and kicked it to the other side of her room in her new house. The former Mrs. Depp had been looking forward to this day for months, the day she’d finally be able to move her and her kids Camille and Xavier back to her hometown, New Orleans, in her childhood neighborhood where her grandparents had raised her and her sisters. The neighborhood was more expensive, but as she hung more pictures of her family, past and present it was beginning to feel like home. The divorce had been finalized last fall, but since the kids had started back at school, Evie decided to put the move on hold until they finished school and they moved into a modest three bedroom home until the school year was up. Camille and Xavier would get a fresh start in Louisiana, where they wouldn’t be followed around with cameras.

The kids would be starting school in a month, Camille going into the 7th grade and Xavier going into the 4th grade, while Evangeline would start as the new cardiologist at the nearby hospital in two weeks. She sat on her newly made bed and looked around the room and she felt a weight leave her. Evangeline could be normal now, as in she could go to the grocery store or the gas station and not have her picture taken. No more being known as just Johnny Depp’s wife, where people forget that she’s a doctor whenever she was on his arm. No more comments about how she’s a gold digger who’s only with Johnny for money and fame.

Now she’s just Dr. Evangeline Cheval. The divorce itself was exhausting and heartbreaking, but not messy. Johnny told her how he fell in love with his costar, that he never meant for it to happen, but it did. Once news got out about Johnny divorcing Evie, Evie was phased out of social circles, women she’d known for over 20 years and called her friend stopped inviting her out to get togethers and soon, she had no support system Los Angeles, and Evie was miserable as her kids finished out the year. That was when she made the decision to move back to her hometown where her sisters and best friends were.

They welcomed her back with open arms, and since Camille and Xavier loved New Orleans, and with Johnny’s approval (it was the least he could do, he could see that she was absolutely miserable and wanted her to be happy), it was a win-win. Evangeline decided to check on the kids and see their progress, starting with Xavier. He had boxes pushed into a corner of the room and he was filling his bookshelf with his books and little action figures. His bed was in a corner near a window with a bedside table that held his unplugged alarm clock and a framed picture of all four of them on vacation in the Bahamas. When Johnny was still in love with her.

“The room looks great.” Her son sat on the bed and Evie leaned against the door jamb. “Thanks Mom.” Xavier was always quiet and reserved, just like his dad. “I know this is a big adjustment, but this will be a good thing. For all of us. Your father loves you and your sister very much, and nothing is going to change that, we’re still a team.” Xavier still looked a little unsure, and what he said next made Evie’s blood run cold. “Is she going to be our stepmother?” Johnny started dating the blonde she devil after the divorce was finalized; she wanted to be happy for him, but there was something about her that Evangeline didn’t like about her besides the fact she had a hand in ruining their marriage, but she couldn’t exactly put her finger on it. She let it go because she didn’t want to be one of those ex wives. “I don’t know sweetheart. That’s a question you have to ask Daddy.”

“I’m gonna go check on your sister.” When she crossed the room, Xavier asked, “hey Mom, what’s for dinner?” Evie pulled her phone out of her pocket to check the time; there were two text messages from her sister Shanelle, and it was almost six o’clock. There wasn’t any food in the fridge yet and she didn’t have the energy to unpack the kitchen. “Uh… we can eat out. Once I finish checking on your sister, we can go get burgers or something.” She’d have to go to the grocery store after she registered the kids in school. Then she’d have to oversee the installation of the washer and dryer, then the cable so Camille could catch the new episode of Pretty Little Liars. It was a lot to do.

Camille’s door was open so Evie poked her head in; her 13-year-old asleep on her back with a copy of the newest issue of Teen Vogue resting cover side up on her stomach. So that explains why she’s been so quiet. Xavier was trying to set the time on his clock. “We can eat as soon as Camille wakes up.” Xavier groaned and threw his head back, his dark hair flopping out of his face. “But she’s gonna sleep the whole night! And I’m hungry!” 

“She could wake up soon. I don’t know how long she’s been sleeping. Wanna watch a movie while we wait?” Evie let him pick the movie so they ended up watching Howl’s Moving Castle, and thirty minutes into the movie, Camille walked into her mother’s room where her brother and mother were cuddled on the bed, Evangeline scrolling through her email. Multiple emails from reporters wanting to get her side of the divorce, her thoughts on Johnny’s girlfriend and emails from her new job saying she can pick up her new coat. “Ready to go eat? There’s a New Orleans Hamburger and Seafood restaurant nearby.” Camille nodded and fluffed out her curly hair and gathered it into a ponytail. 

“Okay y’all, go put on your shoes and then we can go.” After fixing her hair and reapplying a new coat of her favorite lip gloss, they were ready to go. It felt nice to leave the house and enjoy a meal as a family without a bunch of cameras flashing outside as they ate. No one seemed to know who they were despite the fact that Evangeline was the mother to some of the most famous kids in the world. No one was coming over to bother them for a picture or autograph. Later that night as she lay in bed waiting for a reply from Shanelle, she thought about how different her life would be now. She’s now caring for two kids by herself. She doesn’t have a housekeeper to clean up her mess (not that she ever liked having people pick up after her) or personal chefs; she would be in charge of what her small family would eat for dinner (which was just fine with her. The kids preferred their mom’s cooking anyway). Evie thought about how when the bill came, the waitress informed her that the gentleman at the next table paid for their food and dessert which he offered. He winked at her and she smiled back. 

His name was Will and Evie thought he was very attractive. Much taller than her 5”2, and dark skinned. They exchanged numbers, and long story short, she was very interested in him as they texted back and forth. If Johnny was already moving on with his life, then Evie shouldn’t have to feel guilty about texting another man. It felt nice to feel butterflies, to know that she was desirable. Maybe this wouldn’t be a bad thing.

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

9 Nights of Lover(s)

Only 9 more nights until Lover. Here are 9 nights of two Lover(s). I hope you guys enjoy my silly, little countdown xx

Taylor’s eyes wander over the zucchinis and cucumbers that are precisely presented in the vegetable section. She still has to quietly smile to herself, how the zucchinis are labeled as “courgettes”. Just a small reminder that no matter how homey she feels in this city - it’s still the other side of the pond. With her hair in a messy bun and the shopping cart hung over her arm, she grabs for a pack of zucchini, then places them in the cart. The supermarket is not as crowded as the last time they came. Only a few people shopping for food in the grocery department on the ground floor. She and Joe always make sure to pick a good time of the day and week to do their grocery shopping. It’s not a must do, but instead something she loves about living with him in London: It’s been years since she last did her food shopping herself. But with Joe, in this city, it seems possible. A sense of normalcy that this city and Joe have brought into her life, that she never dreamed of having. Taylor strolls through the vegetable and fruit section, as the tall blonde man suddenly comes to a stop right in front of her. With his black jean jacket she loves so much, he just smiles at her quietly and places a few packs of berries in the cart over her arm.

“Hey, do we need..”

“Open up” he answers, as she realizes what he’s doing. With an opened pack of blueberries he stands right in front of her and eats some himself.

“Oh my god, this is so… rude. You can get salmonella from unwashed foods.” She hisses quietly, doesn’t want the entire supermarket to become part of this convo. She can’t believe him sometimes, has to swallow down an embarrassed laugh. In most life situations he’s the most grown up man she’s ever been with. Yet when it comes to a simple evening of food shopping, he manages to act like a five year old.

“You won’t get salmonella from eating a berry, love.” He answers her with a grin on his face. Taylor just shakes her head, signals him that he needs to put the pack of berries into the basket on her arm. Right now. But instead, Joe just eats another handful again.

“Joe!”

He starts laughing. She cannot believe him.

“Stop it.”

“Try one, they’re amazing.”

“We haven’t paid them yet.”

“I will pay these overpriced blueberries in like five minutes. Can you relax, babe?”

Taylor just shakes her head, tries to swallow down the smirk on her lips. He still notices though, as she walks past him and pretends to continue her grocery shopping apart from him.

“Am I embarrassing you?”

“It’s like you’re my child.” She hisses, presses her lips together in order to not laugh and grabs a bunch of asparagus in front of her.

“Wanna try this banana I got?”

Taylor just hits him in the side and walks away, pretending to run away from him. Joe just smirks and follows her to the frozen foods section. Taylor turns around and he can see the smirk on her face.

“If you open up this banana, I swear to you Joe, …oh my god.” She whispers, pretending to be mad while looking at him opening the banana in front of her eyes and the eyes of the other Marks & Spencer customers. Joe laughs, takes a bite and then holds the banana in front of her face.

“Take a bite, baby. Be bold. Come on.” He jokes quietly, looks into her eyes. She looks like she wants to kill him yet she’s fighting with herself. For one, she really is incredibly hungry and also, she has learned to let loose and be more rebellious since she’s with him. Rebellious, as in not wearing make- up when going on a Sunday stroll or taking the tube from Kentish Town to Tufnell Park. He’s had a great influence. With both of his childish and mature sides, he’s had a great influence on her happiness. Taylor shakes her head, her eyes looking more than mad and she slowly takes a bite from the banana he held in front of her face. Joe laughs quietly, then leans in and kisses her forehead over her bangs.

“So inappropriate to eat a banana in the fish section. You little rebel…”

_________________________________________

Joe leans against the big bedpost of their bedroom, a big sigh escaping his mouth. In his sleeping shirt, teeth brushed and ready for bed, he sits there, just stared at the big tv screen hung upon the wall on the other side of the room. The big grey blanket over his legs, the woman of his life right next to him, mindlessly having her head on his chest and the remote control in her hand. Joe sighs again, his hand still casually on her back, and under her shirt, where the tips of his fingers were drawing circles before. Slowly, he’s getting annoyed.

“What about this one? We’ve seen the first episode, remember?”

“Mhm, I don’t know.” She mumbles. Her cheek mindlessly pressed into his chest, she looks at the screen.

“Darling, can we please just decide on something.” He says, starts to feel his patience fade. This time Taylor sighs as well, still flips through every single suggestion on Netflix.

“It’s hard to decide, because what I like, you probably won’t like..”

“I don’t care what we watch, just choose something.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” He breathes out annoyingly, tries to take it with humor and sinks his head slowly to kiss hers. “Crazy woman” he mumbles under his kiss and Taylor doesn’t even notice, just suddenly squeaks excitedly. It seems that she has found something she wants to see. Finally.

Joe’s hand slowly continues to caress the naked skin on her back under her shirt. Taylor slowly sits up and looks at him, doesn’t shove his hand away.

“I read about this movie. It’s about a child murderer who lived in Ohio in the 90s and..”

“Great, put it on.”

“I’m just worried that I’ll be scared after.”

“I sleep right next to you, Tay.”

“Okay, good. You wanted it.” She says, puts the movie on but remains sitting upright. The movie starts, Joe’s hand still on her back while the other reaches for his bedside lamp. He turns it off, the tv now the only light in the bedroom. Taylor suddenly leans forward, awkwardly sitting in bed but having her head sunken.

“What are you doing?”

“Itchy” she says and he smiles. For some reason, she absolutely loves it when he scratches her back. Joe carefully scratches her, always making sure he’s not too rough. The movie starts but Taylor is more than distracted.

“More right…. left. Can you go down…yeah right there.” She mumbles into her shirt because that’s how much she’s sunken her head. Joe slowly laughs, but continuous scratching her.

“You’re a true monkey. Do you know that?”

“Psssst. I’m listening to the movie.” She mumbles, while Joe’s hand is still busy on her back. Joe smirks. After a few seconds, Taylor sits up again, slowly leans in to press a kiss onto his lips and then cuddles into his chest. Joe smiles at the toothpaste taste of her kiss, makes sure the blanket is over her and then gets comfortable in bed as well. He starts to focus on the movie. It takes less than three minutes and he can hear her snoring. He slowly looks down and realizes that she’s asleep. Of course. Taking half an hour to choose a film and then falling asleep within the first five minutes. Sounds a lot like his girlfriend. Joe carefully reaches for the remote control in her hand and turns off the tv. Time to sleep.

_________________________________________

“What are you doing?” He asks, a bag of crisps in his hand as he walks up to Taylor who just comfortably sits on the couch with her laptop. She is tired and drunk as much as he is, after this long night out with his friends. It’s been a great night for the both of them. He loves evenings with her and his best friends. Her deliciously cooked dinner, deep conversations about life and scrabble. He loves seeing her interact with his friends, loves how close she’s become to them. This is something he has not experienced with girlfriends before her. Joe looks at her. The red lipstick on her lips half faded, and the leather jacket she was wearing before is on the floor. She’s home. And tired. He can feel that. Joe slowly knees down in front of her, holds the bag of crisps right in front of her face. She just shakes her head, seems to be distracted from whatever she sees on her laptop.

“It’s 3 in the morning. What are you doing on there?”

“I’m on amazon.”

“Leave the site, love. Right now. Not again.”

Taylor just laughs whole heartedly and looks at him. Joe also grins amusedly but pretends to be in shock.

“No, I swear, this time it’s not the alcohol. I really need this sheabutter. And they even have a bundle price..”

“Show me.” he says, already reaches for her MacBook. Taylor just rolls her eyes but laughs drunkenly and hands him the laptop. Joe places the bag of crisps on her lap while being busy looking at her shopping cart.

“Love, can you tell me why you just bought 5 pounds of unrefined organic Shea butter for three-hundred pounds.”

Taylor in the meantime has just gotten up and waddles into the kitchen barefeet, clearly unimpressed by his question.

“Because I needed it.”

“As much as you needed the Chinese knife set you bought last time you were drunk.”

He hears her giggle from the kitchen, can see her head that has disappeared in some kitchen cabinet. She’s on her heels, trying to reach something that’s buried in the cupboard.

“It’s a great knife set.” she answers, places a porcelain bowl in front of her and fills it with cereal.

Joe still looks through her shopping cart and starts laughing. He slowly takes out his phone and takes a photo of her MacBook screen. Just in this moment, Taylor makes her way to the couch again, immediately yells a “stop it” towards her boyfriend’s direction and tries to steal his phone. He manages to win, shoves away his iPhone from her hands. She just sits down next to him, a cereal bowl in her hand, pretending to be mad.

“Baby!”

“No.”

“I’m just capturing memories. This is a great memory. Ten thousand tampons. You bought a pack of ten thousand tampons.”

Taylor doesn’t react, just grumpily eats her cereal. She doesn’t look at him, a mixture of alcohol and tiredness clearly bringing her mood down.

“You can provide every woman in Hampstead and North Finchley with these tampons. Nose bleeding included.”

She suddenly looks at him and laughs. She hates that he wins once more, but his unexpected humor just makes her laugh.

“You’re mean to me.” She mumbles and Joe slowly sighs, a grin still on his face. He slowly closes her laptop, opens his arms and hugs her entire torso. She lets out a grumpy noise, mouth full from eating her late night cereal. Joe kisses her cheek a few times, then casually opens his mouth. Taylor shoves a spoon full of cereal with oat milk into his mouth. Joe chews, then presses another kiss onto her cheek. Time to get some sleep.

_________________________________________

“Yeah and then I have a meeting at 5pm on Wednesday, but I should be done around 6 or 7 and we can totally come over after that.” she says, her cozy shorts and house slippers on, while making her way downstairs. Right when she was about to past the bedroom, she comes to a stand, quietly peaks into the room. Taylor can’t help but smile, suddenly forgets to listen to Joe’s sister-in-law on the other end of the line. Without noticing her at all, Joe just stands in front of the bed, absentmindedly folding his underwear. She can’t help but smile even more at him. He looks so incredibly cute. His boxers, his huge grey sweater that she loves most while slowly folding her underwear. The fact that Joe is the proud owner of two left hands doesn’t make the view less amusing. She appreciates his efforts. He came home early this morning from Asia, visibly tired and exhausted from his past weeks. Yet he makes an effort to do her laundry.

“Jen, can I call you back in five? Yeah..okay, bye.” She slowly makes her way to him, as the tired blonde guy suddenly looks up at her. Standing in front of their bed, she just hugs his neck tight and presses a big kiss onto his mouth. He smiles, still incredibly tired. She has to laugh. He looks too cute with his hair undone and his small eyes. He really needs to go to bed soon.

“You’re sexy when you fold my panties.” She whispers. He laughs.

“I know. That’s why I’m doing it.” He laughs. Taylor smiles at him.

“You should go to bed, babe. Your eyes are tiny.” She says, stroking his cheek with her hands.

Joe forms a kiss with his lips again and signals her that he needs her once more. Taylor laughs and presses another kiss onto his lips.

“Love you.”

_________________________________________

Joe comes back from the bathroom, slowly checks his phone at the end of the room. 4.21 am. He yawns. Jetlag is by far the worst. He slowly makes his way back to bed again, can’t help but laugh quietly at the view in front of him. Taylor lies in her side, rolled into her big blanket like a burrito. Only her tiny head is peaking out while her entire body has disappeared under the big blanket. He slowly lays down next to her again, on his side, making sure his face touches hers. His arm lands on the big blanket surrounding her and his lips land on her head. He can feel her stirring, suddenly notices that her eyes are open.

“Are you okay” she caws, her voice filled with sleep. Joe smiles, immediately kisses her forehead again, since this part of her entire body is the only part that’s not wrapped in the big warm blanket. He breathes out, keeps his lips on her head.

“Baby.”

“Mhm.”

“Can I wrap you up like a burrito and then unwrap you quickly down the stairs.”

Taylor suddenly looks at him, starts to laugh.

“What?!”

“I don’t know, it’s just something I have to think of whenever you burrito up in bed.”

Taylor laughs, then turns around while he faces her back.

“No you cannot do that.”

“Why?” He asks, has to laugh now as well.

“Because I’m not Donald Duck.”

Joe puddles as well now, then slowly closes his eyes again.

“That’s sad.” He answers. Taylor just laughs and closes her eyes again.

“You’re so weird, you can only be my boyfriend.” She mumbles half asleep. Joe smiles too, whispers a last “I love you too” before falling back asleep as well.

_________________________________________

Taylor opens the oven, carefully grabs the hot tray and places it on top of the stove. The kitchen is lit up with the small lamp in the corner of the marble cupboard. The bright lights from the living room shine into the kitchen. She can hear her mother laugh, while Robert talks about a weird interaction he had last week. Taylor slowly takes off the big oven gloves and places them next to the burning hot chicken roast she just took out ofout of the oven. Taylor slowly makes her way back into the living room, places one hand on Joe’s shoulder who sits around the table with her mother and her boyfriend. Joe places the glass of water he was just nipping on back on the table and looks at his girlfriend.

“Can you get some plates? I’m gonna get another bottle of wine.” She says and Joe gets up, still listening to Robert’s story about how a journalist approached him last week, thinking he was Ariana Grande’s tour manager. In sweatpants and a shirt, he slowly walks into the kitchen, was just about to grab four plates from the cupboard as he suddenly sees the deliciously looking roast right in front of him. He contemplates for a few seconds, then grabs a fork and slowly picks at a small piece of zucchini to try the dinner his girlfriend just made. In just that second, Taylor enters the kitchen again and Joe realizes that, in fact, the food she made is still boiling hot. He looks at Taylor and his eyes get big - not because he feels trapped, but because he realizes that he is about to burn his mouth big time. Half panicking, half laughing he waves towards his mouth. Taylor can’t help but laugh, slowly place the bottle of wine next to him on the kitchen counter.

“This is what you get when you try food before our guests.” She says, laughing a bit. Joe still fights with the burning hot food in his mouth.

“M’ go’ die” he brings out.

Taylor just breathes out a sympathetic “oh baby” and then turns around to face him. His eyes are all red. It seems that the combination of spicy and hot isn’t the best one. Within two seconds, she gets an empty glass from the cupboard and grabs the cold milk from the fridge.

“Drink this, babe.” She says, offers him the glass of milk. Joe slowly swallows the food, then takes a big sip from the ice cold milk. He lets out a big sigh, covers his mouth with his hand.

“Are you okay?” She asks him, casually places her hand on his stubbly cheek.

“Yeah” he sighs and Taylor can’t help but laugh. His eyes are red and teary. She would love to say ‘this is what karma does’, but instead swallows this thought down and gets on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“Poor baby.” She just mumbles. “But you never learn.” She adds.

Joe just chuckles.

“That’s why I have you. To help me survive.”

_________________________________________

Joe stirs, realizes that the spot next to him in bed is empty. After opening his eyes once, he just closes them again, hearing the flush coming from the bathroom right next to their bedroom. It takes less than a minute and he can hear Taylor waddle back to bed in the dark, barefoot and wearing nothing but a thong and his shirt. Right before she falls back onto the bed he hears a hit, and her moan.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

Joe can’t help but smirk in his sleep.

Every. Damn. Time.

“Again?”

“We need a night lamp.” She mumbles in pain. Joe slowly turns on the lights, looks at his girlfriend who sits on the side of the bed and holds her toes that she just hit in pain, while sitting on the side of the bed.

“Give it to me.”

“What?”

“The toe.” Taylor can’t help but laugh quietly in pain, falls onto her back in bed, stretching out her long legs before rolling onto his side. Joe grabs the foot that hurts and kisses it a few times. She can’t help but giggle loudly. So loud, that even Benjamin looks up and slowly walks to the bed. Taylor can’t help but laugh loudly, especially when Joe makes a grimace.

“I love kissing cold feet.”

“I know you do.” She says sarcastically. Joe carefully lets go off her foot, makes sure to wrap his girlfriend in the blanket again.

“Are you good?” He asks, hugs her sideways. As so often, his lips against her bangs. Taylor closes her eyes, pulls up the blanket until the chin and closes her eyes again. She slowly nods, enjoys smelling him.

“You mean my footy?”

“Your footy?” He asks with a chuckle. “I mean cause you were in the bathroom for so long.”

Taylor sighs.

“My vagina hurts. I’m on my period.”

Joe laughs at her syntax. He also appreciates that they established this openness, that she knows that she can talk to him about whatever bothers her. That nothing needs to be embarrassing. Nothing.

“I’m sorry, love. Want an Advil? Or a tea?” He asks quietly, looks at his girlfriend who’s still wrapped up in the blanket until under her chin.

“No, I just took one. I just need some sleep. And a hug maybe.” She adds. Joe laughs, slowly turns around to turn off the little lamp on his side of the bed. It’s dark again in the room and Joe lays down in bed next to his girlfriend. His arm wanders around her torso, as he turns around and onto his back. Offering her to use his chest as a pillow.

“Good?”

“Good.”

_________________________________________

“Okay. Yes. So on the fourteenth, we’re going to have the meeting at 2pm. Yes, I noted that. But what did he say about….oh okay. Okay, that works.” Joe slowly walks into the bedroom. She sits in bed with her laptop, headphones on her ears, cats next to her, tv on silent, make up free, stressed face. He knows it’s been a lot of traveling back and forth these past days. He feels like he didn’t have a proper conversation with her since she came back. All she does is schedule phone meetings, flights and organize things for the upcoming weeks. He would never get upset about that. After all, he knows how stressful album phases are, and he wants her to focus fully on that. However, he wishes he could help her. She seems so stressed, overwhelmed. He can see that by the look on her face.

Joe sits down on the side of the bed, carefully patting Benjamin. After a few seconds, Taylor hangs up, immediately continues typing on her macbook. She doesn’t even react, doesn’t even talk to Joe. He can just feel the level of stress radiate from her, doesn’t say anything. Slowly, he takes out his phone from his pocket.

“Just.. give me a minute..” she mumbles distracted, is well aware that she hasn’t even said hello to Joe just yet.

Joe doesn’t answer, is busy on his phone as well now. He then waits a few seconds, looks at her face to see her reaction. She just stares into her email account, suddenly realized that she’s got an email from Joe.

What do you want for dinner?

Taylor turns her head and laughs at him.

“Are we really doing this?” She laughs. Joe is happy that he could make her smile, even if just for a second.

“I discovered that emails are the best way to reach you these days.” He laughs. Taylor just rolls her eyes and starts typing again.

Chinese, please. Love you.

Joe laughs, slowly gets up and leaves the bedroom with Benjamin on his arm.

Taylor keeps working on an email, which includes her interview answers. Just when she was about to send it out to Tree, she sees that she has a notification in the corner of the screen. She can’t help but smile beneath her stressed frown.

Love you, too. Bath time later?

_________________________________________

Joe sighs, washes his hands while staring into the mirror right over the sink. He hates this. He hates fighting with her over the most ridiculous thing. A photo with his friend. His co-star. A female. Joe sighs, slowly enters the bedroom again. Just in that second, Taylor drops his phone on the bed. He looks at her confused, and she looks at him - trapped.

Joe just stands there, looks at her make up free, anxious face. He can’t believe it. He can’t believe the level of mistrust she just showed him.

“Did you just go through my phone to make sure I’m not hiding stuff from you?”

“I didn’t go through your phone.”

“Oh really, why did you drop it all panicky then?”

Taylor just sighs, crosses her arms. She looks angry. Mad, to say the least.

“Well, if you didn’t give me enough reason to not trust you I wouldn’t have to…”

“What reason, Taylor? What reason?” He suddenly says, his voice raised. She has never experienced him like this. Joe is usually the calm one of the two. But this time, he looks at her mad and angry. She notices herself getting worried, subconsciously asks herself if she’s gone too far this time.

“The reason is you getting a drink with this person behind my..”

“This person is a lesbian friend of mine, who happened to work with me in Virginia on that exact weekend.” He interrupts her. “Taylor, I…” He just looks at her worried, sad, having many questions written on his face.

“What?!” She hisses, her arms still crossed, just staring through him.

“Where does this come from?” He asks, tries to calm himself down a little and sits down on the bed next to her.

“Where.. why would you ever think that you can’t trust me? You know I love you and you know I would never look at any other women. I’m… I’m shocked.”

Taylor doesn’t react, looks down on the blanket she’s wrapped in. The silence right now will kill her.

“What’s the real problem here?” He then asks, doesn’t seem to let go of this. She doesn’t know what to say, just sighs and looks the other way. She still seems mad but she has no arguments anymore. He can feel that.

“The real problem is you hanging out with other girls. You didn’t do that when we started dating. You didn’t do that when we weren’t casual with each other. But now this thing has turned into a long-term relationship and you’re bored. And you start meeting other..”

“Wanna know what the real problem is?” He says with a raised voice, way louder than she just was. “The real problem is you not being able to process the fact that there’s someone who actually wants to stay with you.”

Silence. Taylor doesn’t move, doesn’t look at him. She hates how right he is. She hates how he doesn’t see through her but instead, stops to acknowledge what really is inside of her. Fear. Fear of losing. Him. Her mother. Herself.

“This time around, you don’t have to beg the person to stay. This time around the person actually wants to stay. And Tay, I’m not cheating on you, I’m not looking at other girls, I’m not bored. I’m just.. I’m here being your partner.” He says, way softer than before. Taylor still doesn’t move, then closes her eyes slowly. She’s emotional. He knows that.

“I know people you love… have left you before. I know you’re scared. But I’m not. I’m not scared and I’m not leaving.” He says, feels a bit more emotional now as well. Especially in the moment he realizes that she’s crying. That tears run down her face. Her face that is still turned away from him.

“And I just hope you can trust me without feeling like you have to control me. Cause you don’t have to.” He adds.

Taylor then slowly looks at him. She’s crying. She doesn’t say anything cause he has just said it all. She slowly crawls closer to him and hugs him closely. It’s her apologize. He knows that. Joe tightens the hug and breathes her in. She’s still crying into his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” She then bawls beneath her tears. Joe just caresses her back and head while holding her close.

“It’s okay. I know. Just know you can hold onto me. Don’t play this game against me. Let me help you.”

Taylor slowly lets go, her face red and wet from the tears. Her bangs sticky against her lashes. She nods, wipes away the tears from her cheek.

“I’m trying.” She says, then gets silent again.

That’s all he needed to hear.

It’s enough.

[kookiemydream]

BTS reaction  → realising that they’re in love with you.

paring: bts x reader

warnings: mentions of smut

genre: hardcore fluff

a/n: my first reaction on this account! hope you love it!

ask box | about me 

↠ kim seokjin. 

Jin first realised that he loved you when you offered to cook for his parents. 

It was your first time meeting them and out of respect, you wanted to make a good first impression. So, you put two and two together and figured that if Jin liked your food a whole lot, the people who raised him surely would.

And that’s how you found yourself in the kitchen, sweating your ass off from all the steam that was erupting from the food. Wiping away your sweat with a tea towel, you bent down to take the meal out of the oven.

Before you could straighten your posture up again, you felt two strong hands grip your waist and something poke your backside. “Jesus Y/n, my parents are in the other room! Gosh, control yourself!” Your boyfriend joked, pretending to only scoot past to get to the other side.

 “I hate you so much.” you chuckled, putting the piping-hot food onto the counter and taking off your oven mitts. You wiped your forehead once more and then turned around to face him. Jin sensed that you were stressed and took a step towards you, taking your hand and bringing it up to his lips. “You sure you don’t need any help baby? I’d be happy to lend a hand?” 

You shook your head “No no, I got this! Just go spend time with your parents, maybe tell them that joke you told me yesterday?” Humorously, you pushed him out towards the door, spanking him lightly with the tea towel.

“Okay okay, you big bully! I’m going!’ he pretended to walk out however stood behind the corner, just looking at you and admiring how concentrated and dedicated you were to making people happy and comfortable. He imagined the same scenario except. it was his kids you were making dinner for instead of his parents.

That was the moment he realised that he was in love with you. 

That he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.

↠min yoongi.

Yoongi realised that he was in love with you when you were sick with the flu. 

Not because you became all clingy and vulnerable like everyone would expect, but because you became the complete opposite.

Instead of sitting in bed all day, blowing your nose and drowning in your own sorrows, you decided it was a good day to start some of your essays that were due. You know? Get that head start.

It was safe to say that Yoongi was extremely surprised to find you sprawled out across the desk sleeping, a yellow post it note stuck to your cheek. He chuckled and made his way over to you.

“Y/n?” he gently moved your hair out of your face and removed the sticky note. When you didn’t respond, he tried a different tactic which was kissing your cheeks until you woke up. “Come on baby, let’s get you to bed.”

“No Yoongi!” You whined tiredly, not even bothering to open your eyes. “I have to finish this before next week!”

“Y/n honey, you’re sick! You really shouldn’t be doing anything that requires energy!”

“But the essay!”

“No ‘buts’! Come here.” Yoongi said softly before scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to the bedroom, bridal style. He tucked you inside the duvet, making sure you were warm and comfortable and kissed your forehead before turning around and outing the light next to you.

That was the moment that Yoongi fell in love with you. He decided at that moment that he wanted to be the one and only person who looked after you. To be the person who carried you to bed when you’re sick and tired.

To be the person who removed the sticky note from your cheek.

↠ jung hoseok

Hoseok realised that he was in love with you when he took you to the funfair. 

It was your two year anniversary as a couple and he decided that taking you to the place where you had your first ever date was perfect to celebrate this special event.

“Oh my god Hobi!” you screamed, making the people around you and him stare “They still have the stall! After all these years! Can you believe it?”

Grabbing his hand quickly, you pulled him towards the infamous stand that hung a bunch of teddies all around it. The aim of the game was to knock down as many cans as you can with three balls. If you manage to knock down all of them down, you win!

“Y/n, wanna play?” he questioned, laughing at how excited you were “Let’s see if I still have what it takes to win a prize huh?”

You giggled and nodded, watching him concentrate on his aim and throw. The first ball was a success, knocking the majority of the cans over however there was still a couple left at the bottom.

The second ball was not quite as good as the first considering that Hoseok’s aim was a little off. He still had one more ball left, which meant that he still had a chance.

Before throwing the ball, he looked back at you. At that you held your thumbs up, as if to say: ‘good luck!’ Luckily, the third ball did do the trick and managed to know over the remaining cans.

You cheered as the guy at the stall handed over a giant teddy bear to your boyfriend who immediately passed the bear to you “You still have it bubs!” You said, kissing his cheeks “Now come on, I wanna go on the merry go round!”

And that was the minute Hoseok realised that he was in love with you. He wanted to be the one to win the prizes and make you as happy as tonight. 

Always.

↠ kim namjoon

Namjoon realised that he was in love with you when you both went to the beach. 

The whole country at the time, was going through a massive heatwave. So, you and Namjoon decided to spend the day near the sea, just to cool yourselves off.

“Ahh, it's so hot! I need to dive in that water asap!” you quickly shoved your flip flops off before ridding yourself of your shirt and shorts, leaving you in just your bikini.

Behind you, you heard a small wolf whistle and then you felt two arms wrap around your waist, turning you clockwise towards the culprit himself.

“See if I knew you had this on underneath?” he pinged the strap on your shoulder “Then we would be at home right now getting even hotter.” Smirking, you felt his hands travel further down your backside.

Before Namjoon could reach the designated place, you grabbed his arm swiftly before hauling his body towards the water. As soon as your body hit the sea however, you froze up. The water was absolutely freezing and you were bound to get some sort of illness after this.

On the other hand, your boyfriend seemed to be prone to the low temperatures and was still laughing and splashing about. Although you were in pain, you still tried to laugh it off considering you were the one who wanted to get in in the first place.

Nethertheless, Namjoon wasn’t stupid and could see from a mile away that you were cold. So without any hesitation, he grabbed your elbow and pulled you into a tight embrace.

You guys were still under the surface of the water so of course you were cold however being pressed against his chest with his muscular arms all around you made you feel slightly warmer. Inside it did anyways.

While you were focused on gaining back the feeling in your arms and legs, Namjoon was thinking about other things.

He realised that he wanted to be the only one that made you warm when you were cold.

The only one for you in general.

↠ park jimin

Jimin realised that he was in love with you during a movie night that he had suggested. 

Something that Jimin and you usually missed out on was cuddle time because of the dance practices and tours that always went on.

Now that he was on break, he finally had the time to spend on you and what better way to spend that time then a cosy movie night in?

You walked in from the kitchen, holding a big bowl of popcorn before setting it down on the coffee table and snuggling up into your boyfriend's chest. “So, what are we watching?” you quizzically asked, grabbing the blanket on the arm of the sofa and draping it over the two of you.

“Well, the boys recommended this new romantic comedy film so I thought we’d give it a watch!” Jimin answered, pointing the remote at the TV and pressing the play button.

Once the film had started, you felt him relax under your embrace. His lips kissed the top of your head and ever so slightly, you could hear his calming heartbeat. You felt safe with him and that was the most important thing.

One of the scenes from the movie actually turned out to be extremely sad and believe it or not, you ended up softly crying into Jimin’s chest. “Baby, don’t cry!” He said sympathetically “Come on, let’s just wipe those tears huh? You’re so precious jagiya.”

He wiped your eyes with the palm of his hands before softly kissing your lips.

And that, seeing you crack a smile after the small kiss that he himself had given you, made him realise that he wanted to be the only one to comfort you.

↠ kim taehyung 

Taehyung realised that he was in love with you while watching you do your makeup. 

You two were due for a night out with the rest of the boys and their partners. That being arranged, you wanted to look your very best as you figured a lot of photos would be taken that night.

So here you were, you sat at the dressing table, gently applying your mascara to you eyes and your boyfriend lounged out across the bed, scrolling through his mindlessly.

“Ahh come on Y/n!” he whined humorously “We’re gonna be late otherwise! You don’t even need makeup anyways!”

You rolled your eyes and smirked, “Hey, you can’t rush beauty okay? Plus, I do it because I like it! And you do too so you can’t complain!”

Taehyung chuckled, throwing his phone next to him and sitting up to look at you. You had finished with the mascara and moved onto the lipstick, which was a nice red lip that matched your dress that you had one.

You looked stunning.

And Taehyung couldn’t stop staring.

Once you had finished, you checked yourself out to see if everything was in order when you caught the glance of Taehyung in the mirror. “What? Do I have something on my face?”

He shook his head and smiled softly “No it’s just, you look beautiful.”

You felt yourself blush hard and covered your face with your hands.

And that was the moment Taehyung fell in love with you. He realised he wanted to be the only one to compliment you and make you blush the way you did with him.

↠ jeon jungkook

Jungkook realised that he loved you whilst you were eating.

It was a Saturday night and the thought of cooking at this time tired you out. So you both came to the solution of ordering takeout, more specifically one of your faves.

When the door finally rang, you jumped up from the couch and bolted to the door, already starving from the weight. Jungkook laughed at your excitement before going into the kitchen and getting a couple plates and cutlery for you to dine with.

After saying thank you to the delivery guy, you joined your boyfriend on the table and was happy to see that everything was prepared for you to start eating.

“So you were that hungry huh?” Jungkook joked as you quickly filled your mouth with the meal. “Is it good?”

You nodded vigorously, cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk from all the food that had been devoured. You swallowed the food then moaned in delight as the flavours embraced your tongue.

Jungkook laughed. He had never seen someone so happy to eat food the way you were. Well, except from his brother Jin. Every bite he saw you took, filled you more and more with joy and delight.

And then the thought hit him.

He wanted to be the one who fed you and made you happy with every bite. He wanted to be the one to take care for you everyday for the rest of his life.

He realised he was in love with you. 

In love with the love you had for food.

tell me what you think! 

request your own reaction/scenario 

[rendezvousroger]

Too Late (Ben Hardy x Reader)

Summary: Ben finds out his girlfriend (the reader) is dead.

A/N: This hurt too much to write, I’ve never felt so sad while writing something and this actually almost made me cry. This was requested by anon so hopefully it’s what you expected. My heart has been broken and I’m sorry if I break yours too.

Warnings: Mentions of death and a lot of ANGST.

Ben wanted the day to end already. All day he had been with Joe and Gwilym doing interviews and press conferences for the Bohemian Rhapsody movie and he was already fed up with the same questions and the same answers. He was tired and all he wanted was to get home and lay down with you, the usual routine the both of you shared.

He knew you were going to be out with your friends all day too since he wasn’t going to be home and you weren’t feeling like staying alone today. You’d told him you were going to be back home before him and Ben was looking forward to seeing you wearing his hoodie all ready to be cuddled up by him. 

“Thank you guys for your time.” The interviewer said once their last interview was finally over as he reached out his hand to the boys.

“Thank you for having us.” Ben said and grabbed his water from the floor.

Joe and Gwilym said their goodbyes to the interviewer and the people working behind the scenes and Ben followed them to the room where Rami and Lucy were supposed to be since they also had just got done with their interviews.

“Where’s Lu?” Joe asked as soon as he went inside the room and saw Rami sitting by himself.

“She’s on the phone.” Rami replied as he yawned.

Ben turned on his phone and saw all your missed calls. He wasn’t one to overthink, but something about you calling him a bunch of times when you already knew he was going to be busy all day just didn’t sound right to him. 

“Is there a restroom anywhere near here?” Ben asked, “I need to call Y/N to see if she’s already home.”

“There’s one all the way down the hallway I think.” Gwilym replied.

Ben nodded and followed Gwilym’s directions. Once he found the restroom, he went inside and felt thankful it was alone so he could talk to you in silence. He dialed your number and waited for you to pick up the call but you never did, so he tried calling you again. 

“Why aren’t you answering?” Ben muttered to himself as he ended the call.

He began to feel worried about you not answering since the interview had taken more time than it was expected to, so it was already pretty late, meaning you were supposed to be home by now. 

Ben even tried calling to your house but there was still no reply. 

He rushed himself outside of the restroom to ask any of the guys if they had talked to you recently but was surprised when he saw Lucy waiting outside of the men’s restroom, covering her face with her hands.

“Lucy?” Ben asked worriedly as he put a hand on her shaking shoulder.

Ben became even more worried once Lucy turned to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and red, she couldn’t stop sobbing.

“I don’t know how to say this.” Lucy choked on her words as tears kept streaming down her face.

“What’s going on Lu?” Ben asked desperately.

“I can’t.” Lucy sobbed and wrapped her arms tightly around Ben.

Ben didn’t know what was going on, he had no idea what could’ve possibly made Lucy break down like this to not be able to stop crying and shaking. 

“It’s alright Lucy.” Ben said gently as he tried to soothe her.

“No it’s not.” Lucy’s voice trembled and she let go of Ben’s embrace.

“Talk to me then, what is it?” Ben said, his patience becoming smaller.

Lucy’s lips trembled as she tried to find the words, her makeup was a mess and her hands couldn’t stop shaking. Ben started to get this feeling something was not right, and that it had to do with him.

“Lucy,” Ben said in a serious tone, stomach-turning, “just tell me what is it.”

He was losing his patience when Lucy just wouldn’t say anything.

“What is it?!” His voice became louder and Lucy just stared at him with pain in her eyes.

And when she saw Ben’s eyes start to tear up, she finally let it out.

“It’s Y/N.” She whispered as she closed her eyes and let the tears fall again, avoiding to look at him.

Ben felt himself start to get dizzy as he heard your name leave Lucy’s trembling lips.

“No,” Ben shook his head in disbelief, “no, no, don’t say it.”

He wanted this to be a nightmare, he didn’t want to believe Lucy. 

“She’s gone.” She choked out the words and covered her mouth with her hands to cry again.

Ben couldn’t believe it. This couldn’t be happening. You couldn’t be gone. 

He had just kissed you this morning right after you poured yourself a coffee while having breakfast. He could still feel your lips against his. 

You had just hugged him and wished him good luck for his interviews just like you always did before he left. 

He refused to believe you were gone.

“I’m sorry.” Lucy whispered, tears still falling down her face.

She went up to Ben and hugged him even tighter than before, but Ben had no strength to hug her back. He was feeling so much pain he couldn’t breathe, his legs became weak and he fell to his knees with Lucy still trying to hold him.

“Ben!” Lucy cried and tried to hold the man, but he was so much stronger than her.

“No!” Ben screamed, his tears following in an unbroken steam. “This can’t be real!”

Lucy could feel Ben’s heart breaking as he clung to her and sobbed loudly, his shoulders shaking desperately.

“Ben,” Joe’s voice didn’t make Ben turn to look at him.

Joe, Gwilym and Rami walked up to where Lucy and Ben were. Their eyes were red too, they had been crying. Lucy had told them about you while Ben was trying to call you in the restroom and they were all in pain since you were a close friend to them.

“Ben, I’m so sorry.” Joe tried again, his voice breaking at the sight of his best friend falling apart on the floor.

Gwilym couldn’t even say a thing, he couldn’t even look at Ben. He turned away and cried in silence by himself as Rami grabbed Lucy’s hand to help her stand up and hug her.

Ben screamed and Joe immediately went to hold him but Ben wouldn’t let him get near him. He tried to stand up with his shaking legs, the tears blurring his vision. He felt as if he could pass out at any second. 

After struggling to stand up, he didn’t even bother to look at his friends. He just wanted to see you, he wanted to hold you and kiss you. He wanted to wake up from this and see you were sleeping safely by his side so he could run his hand gently through your soft hair and hold you tightly. 

You couldn’t be gone. 

His eyes ached from all the crying but tears just wouldn’t stop falling down his face. He bit his lip until blood came out of them, he wanted to believe this wasn’t real, he wanted this to be a nightmare and he wanted to wake up now. 

But when he saw it wasn’t a dream, he just couldn’t take it and he punched the wall next to him in anger and in pain.

Gwilym and Joe rushed up to him as Rami held a crying Lucy tightly. Ben didn’t even feel the pain from the punch because the pain of losing you was way stronger. 

“Let’s take you home.” Gwilym said as he grabbed Ben from one arm and Joe from the other, his knuckles bleeding from how hard he had hit the wall.

“But she’s my home.” Ben sobbed and this time he didn’t fight back, he just let his friends carry him.

“Come on Ben.” Joe whispered as he held his friend tightly, he couldn’t help the tears falling down his eyes either.

“I want to see her.” Ben’s voice lowered as he closed his eyes and cried silently.

“But Ben she-“ Lucy tried to tell Ben but Rami stopped her.

“It’s alright,” Rami said softly, “we will take you with her.”

The boys helped Ben get inside the car so they could take him to the hospital to see you, even though there wasn’t anything else that could be done to save you. 

The whole car ride was silent, and every now and then someone would break down and start sobbing until another person would hold them tightly and calm them down.

All of them cared for you deeply, you had become a very close friend to them ever since the first day Ben had brought you on set to meet them. You always hung out with them and they all knew their friendship group wouldn’t be the same without you.

Ben looked at his phone and smiled with tears in his eyes once he saw his lock-screen. 

It was a picture Joe had taken of you and Ben after an award show. You were wearing a stunning red dress and Ben just couldn’t keep his hands off you the whole night. You were sitting down on Ben’s lap as he held you tightly around your waist, not wanting to let you go. 

He loved the picture not only because you both looked extremely happy and in love, but because that was the night he had realized he was truly in love with you. That was the night where you had stayed up all night talking, dancing and figuring out where the both of you wanted to go in life.

“I want at least three dogs.” You giggled as you drunkenly pressed a kiss to your boyfriend’s cheek.

“Oh we will have more than three dogs.” Ben assured, pulling you closer to him.

“And you will teach me how to make those delicious waffles you make every time I stay over at your place.” You said, looking straight into his eyes.

“Only if you promise to wear my favorite hoodie on you during the morning while I make them.” He whispered.

“You don’t even have to ask,” you smiled at him, “I love that hoodie, it smells like you.”

“We’re also going to shower together at least twice every week.” Ben grinned as you blushed.

“You blonde pervert!” You laughed before kissing him again, “I’m not complaining though.”

“We have to save water.” He said, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Of course we do,” you added, “I’m so excited to share my life with you.”

Something about the way your eyes shined when talking about your future with Ben had made him fall more in love with you. You thought it had been one of those silly, drunk talks every couple has about their future, but Ben was being serious. He couldn’t picture his future with anyone else but you.

And little did you know the next day Ben had gone out with Lucy to look for engagement rings because that was the night he was left with no doubts that you were the one. 

He knew he had to marry you.

And that was exactly what Ben was planning to do, he already had the ring, he was just waiting until there were no more interviews, premieres or press conferences so he could have you all to himself. But he had waited too long.

It was too late now.

“We’re here.” Joe’s soft voice interrupted Ben from his thoughts.

Ben took one last look at the picture on his phone and let the tears fall down as he closed his eyes again, not ready to say goodbye to the love of his life. Not ready to let go of everything the both of you had planned out for your future. 

[plusultrabitchez]

Rooms on Fire Chapter 16: Bridesmaids and Broken Lamps

17. That's how many times you called before he blocked your number. You laid in bed staring at your phone lock screen. It was you and Hitoshi holding doughnuts in your mouths and making silly faces that you took on your first date. How did everything get so fucked up? "I should've fucking known that villain spawn like you would act like this." His harsh words kept replaying in your mind.

You wiped away your tears, turned off your phone and threw it in a drawer. He wouldn't call you back. Why would he? You didn't deserve him. It hurt how much you missed him. It had been almost two weeks since that night. You had been in bed for practically all of it. The bed still smelled like him, but not for much longer. Your eyes and face were raw, red, and puffy from all your crying. You called out of work and used most of your vacation days. It felt bad ghosting your friends, but you were completely broken. Explaining what happened and all the ways you fucked up would bring everything back.

With the help of some Valium, you had managed to numb some of the pain. It came in waves now. Which was preferable to the constant horrible feelings that were akin to having your heart ripped out then crushed with a frozen mallet. Hades did his best to comfort you. Snuggling in bed with you the whole time. You would fall asleep cuddling him or a pillow and when you woke up, for a brief moment you were happy, before the realization that you lost Hitoshi crept back into your mind and crushed you all over again.

Hitoshi called out of work as well. He couldn't deal with people asking how you were or asking what happened. Having to explain it would break him all over again. He was heartbroken and angry, but fuck he missed you so much and he hated that he did. He had to block your number so he wouldn't give in to temptation and pick up. Hitoshi deleted all your messages without reading or listening to them. He knew if he heard your voice it would crush him.

He looked at his phone lock screen. It was a picture of you during one of your off days. Sipping your black coffee in your PJs, bare-faced, messy hair, smiling sweetly at him. He would kill to spend another morning with you. The hurt and betrayal hit him all over again. How could you do this to him? Was he not good enough? Did he not satisfy you? What did he do wrong to drive you back into Bakugou's arms...and bed.

God the thought of you two together made him sick. If it was just before you had gotten together, he could deal with that. It was your life and none of his business who you were with before. Hitoshi groaned and wiped away tears before tossing his phone across the room. He had a training session with Aizawa today which was the one thing he couldn't cancel. He wasn't looking forward to telling him what happened. His phone started ringing.

Hitoshi groaned and dragged himself out of bed to get his phone. "What?" He snapped, not even bothering to see who was calling.

"Oh, um sorry Shinsou. Is this a bad time?" It was Ochaco. She sounded worried.

"As good a time as any." he grumbled.

"Umm, are you okay Shinsou?"

"Fucking peachy. What do you want?" He snapped again.

Ochaco chuckled nervously. "It's a bad time I'm sorry. I just wanted to know if (Y/N) was okay?"

He clenched his fist upon hearing your name. "How the fuck am I supposed to know?"

"Well no one has heard from her in like two weeks and since you practically live with each other so I thought-"

Hitoshi cut her off. "You should go over there and let her fill you in. Or hell, give Bakugou a call. I bet he's over there now." He hung up and hung his head. He pulled up your contact info on his phone and stared at it. His finger hovered over the call button. "God how pathetic am I? She fucking cheated on me, but I'm still worried about her." He closed out of your info and tossed his phone on the bed. He had a training session to get to.

.

.

You woke up from your fifth nap of the day to Hades nudging you with his nose.

"What is it bub?" You then heard knocking from downstairs. "Who the fuck is here?" you groaned as you rolled out of bed. You were pretty weak. You hadn't been eating much and the only time you got out of bed was to use the bathroom and take care of Hades, Binx, and Salem. You shuffled downstairs as the knocking on your front door grew louder and more urgent. You unlocked the door and swung it open rubbing your eyes.

"What?" you snapped.

"Oh my god! I'm so glad you're alright!" It was Ochaco who was now pulling you into a tight hug. You felt your emotions welling up again, you were doing good to hold them back today. You choked back tears. "(Y/N) I called Shinsou to ask how you were and...well...did something happen between you two?" She asked still holding you tight.

Hearing his name made you break. You wrapped your arms around her. Your body shaking as you let your sobs out. "I fucked up Ochaco. I fucked up so bad."

Ochaco just held you tight and let you cry. After a few minutes, she got the two of you out of the doorway and led you to the living room to sit you on the couch. She got you a box of tissues, a blanket, a glass of water and sat down with you. "Take your time (Y/N). I'm here for you."

It took you a while to explain everything through your sobbing, but eventually, Ochaco was brought up to speed. She knew everything. Your thing with Bakugou, how it began, how long it lasted, how it ended, then everything that Bakugou had told Hitoshi.

"I just don't know why he would lie about us being together after I moved back." You chugged your water and took a deep breath. Talking about everything had helped a little. "He's the one that ended things between us, and now he's all pissy that I moved on? The whole deal was no strings attached anyway. The only reason I can think of is that he wanted to restart things with us which obviously I don't want to do."

Ochaco nodded. "Well, it's Bakugou, so no telling why he did that." She thought to herself for a moment. "You don't think we could convince him to tell Shinsou the truth?"

You scoffed. "Doubt it. I knocked a bunch of his teeth out after Hitoshi left me in the parking lot."

"Oh wow." Ochaco gasped.

"Yeah, I doubt he's feeling generous." you rubbed your temples. "And Hitoshi won't talk to me. He blocked my number so I can't even try to explain."

"Have you considered going over there?"

You shook your head. "No, he obviously doesn't want to see me. I want to go see him so bad, but it would be best if I kept my distance and respected his wishes." Your stomach growled loudly. Ochaco noticed your hands shaking.

"(Y/N), when was the last time you ate?" Her eyes full of concern.

You thought back. "Umm, maybe 4 days ago. I had some chips."

Ochaco sighed. "Alright, here's what we're going to do. You're going to go take a nice long shower, I'm going to order us some food, we're going to veg out and watch movies and have a little sleepover."

Tears streamed down your cheeks yet again as you reached over to give her a hug. "Thanks, Ochaco. I don't know what I've done to deserve a friend like you."

.

.

Hitoshi trudged into the dojo where he was meeting Aizawa and tossed his bag down.

"You're late." Aizawa said coming up behind him.

"Sorry." Hitoshi grumbled.

Aizawa quirked his eyebrow as he looked Hitoshi over. "You look like shit."

Hitoshi rolled his eyes. "Thanks."

Aizawa knew something was up but decided not to press the subject. As long as Hitoshi brought his best to their sessions, he like to think that he didn't care.

They started their sparring session and Hitoshi was obviously distracted. He was sloppy, angry, and erratic. Aizawa was growing increasingly annoyed. Hitoshi was one of the hardest working people he had ever trained but he was fighting like an inexperienced first year. Aizawa grabbed his arm when Hitoshi threw a punch and tackled him to the floor and pinned him.

"What's going on?" He asked flatly.

"Nothing." Hitoshi replied through gritted teeth.

Aizawa rolled his eyes and pulled Hitoshi's arm back further causing a jolt of pain in his shoulder.

"What the fuck?! You're going to dislocate my arm!"

"Not if you tell me the truth."

"We broke up."

There was a moment of silence before Aizawa released Hitoshi from his hold. Hitoshi got off his stomach and stood up, wincing as he stretched his arm out. "Are you happy? Now let's get on with it." he said getting into a fighting stance. Aizawa just stood there hands in his pockets.

"Normally I wouldn't ask for details, and I hate to admit it but I have a soft spot for the two of you."

"I don't want to talk about it." Hitoshi said heading to get his stuff. He felt his legs being swept out from underneath him and he hit the ground again.

"Don't make me beat it out of you." Aizawa said, still in his monotone voice. "What did you do?"

The question made Hitoshi snap. "I didn't do anything! She was the one who decided to cheat on me with Bakugou!"

Aizawa quirked an eyebrow. "Did you catch them together or something?"

"No, but Bakugou made sure to tell me all about it."

"What was Kubo's side of it?"

"She denied cheating on me, but admitted to them being together before she came back."

Aizawa rolled his eyes and sighed. "So you decided to believe Bakugou, someone who is notorious for being petty and jealous, over Kubo who has done nothing but love and support you all these years?"

Hitoshi huffed and looked away from Aizawa, finding a spot on the wall to glare at.

"If she did cheat on you, why would she admit to everything else and deny that one thing? Kubo isn't one to deny her mistakes."

"Well, why else would she not tell me about her and Bakugou? If she had nothing to hide, why not tell me herself instead of me being blindsided at a fucking party?"

"I agree that the circumstances of which you found out are less than ideal. She should've handled that better, but I do think you should hear her out. Maybe get her side of the story. Cheating doesn't fit her character."

Hitoshi looked down at his feet. What Aizawa was saying made sense, but he couldn't get over Bakugou spouting off such intimate details about you.

Aizawa sighed. "Okay, I've said my piece. What you do next is up to you. Now do you want to fight or not?"

.

.

Midorya waited outside the bar for Hitoshi to arrive. He had messaged him earlier saying that he needed to get out of his apartment and blow off some steam. He was on the phone with Ochaco who had given him a call to fill him in on everything that was going on.

"Holy crap. I can't believe Kacchan would do something like that." Midorya said as he tried to process everything Ochaco just told him.

"Yeah well, I hate to say I'm not surprised. But we need to do something Deku. She's.....not great."

"Oh?" Midorya was alarmed by how concerned Ochaco sounded.

"She can barely stand up because she hasn't eaten in 4 days. I just ordered a bunch of food so hopefully, I can get something in her." Ochaco sighed. "I think it's her way of punishing herself."

Midorya let out a heavy sigh. "That's....bad." He saw Hitoshi approaching and waved before holding up his index finger indicating he needed a minute before turning away and lowering his voice. "Are you going to stay there and keep an eye on her tonight?"

"Yeah, I can't leave her like this."

"Yeah, I agree. Okay well, Shinsou just arrived so I'm going to go now."

"Okay, try to see where his head is at." Ochaco said.

"Will do. I love you."

"Love you too."

Midorya hung up and turned around to face Hitoshi. "Sorry about that. Just catching up with Ochaco."

"It's okay. Thanks for meeting me." Hitoshi's voice was gruff and his eye bags were worse than usual. "I just couldn't be alone with my thoughts anymore."

Midorya sighed. "Yeah I understand. Want to talk about it?" "Not really..." Hitoshi eyed Midoriya's phone. "Ochaco is with...her isn't she?" He couldn't bring himself to say your name.

"Yeah, she is." Midoriya replied. There was a moment of silence. Hitoshi wanted to ask if you were okay, but couldn't bring himself to form the words.

Midorya could tell what was going through Hitoshi's head. "She's......Ochaco is taking care of her."

Hitoshi nodded and looked at the ground. He knew that meant you weren't okay. Even now he wanted to rush over to your place to take care of you.

Midorya sighed and put his hand on Hitoshi's shoulder. "Come on. Let go have a beer and get your mind off things."

.

.

"Come on (Y/N). You really need to eat something." Ochaco cooed as she handed you a takeout box.

You took it reluctantly and sniffed. Normally you were always hungry, but you couldn't physically bring yourself to eat. But Ochaco was concerned so you took a small bite. It was hard to get down, but you continued to eat so she wouldn't worry.

Ochaco sighed in relief. "That's better! You need your strength!" She gave you an enthusiastic thumbs up that made you smile for the first time since her birthday party.

"Thanks, Ochaco, for taking care of me." You let out a half-hearted chuckle. "I'm pretty fucking pathetic right now huh?"

"No, you're not. I know if it were Deku and me, I would be devastated."

"God I'm the worst. How're the first two weeks of being engaged? God, I caught up with my own bullshit. I'm so sorry Ochaco."

She smiled at you. "It's okay! That's what friends are for! They've been really great. I haven't planned anything yet, but I've just been looking around at ideas."

You smiled. "Can I see?"

Ochaco eyed you. "Are you sure? I don't want to upset you given your current situation."

You shook your head. "No, it'll be great. It'll be good for me to focus on something happy." You sat up and scooted over to her. "Come on. Show me your ideas."

"Well, there is one thing I wanted to ask at my party but didn't get a chance to."

"What's that?" you asked.

"Will you be my maid of honor?" Ochaco held her breath and looked at you.

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but they were happy tears. "Really?" You sniffled.

"Well yeah. You're my best friend." She replied with a sweet smile.

"I would be so honored. Thank you so much for asking me."

You both gave each other a hug before she showed you all her saved ideas.

Deep down you were still sad, but focusing on your best friend's happiness soothed your soul.

.

.

A few hours later Midorya was walking an extremely drunk Hitoshi home. He practically had to carry him because of how bad he was stumbling. "Why did she do it Midorya?" Hitoshi slurred. "Was I not good enough for her? Bakugou was right. He's an asshole, but he was right."

"Right about what?" Midorya asked as they walked down the sidewalk towards Hitoshi's apartment.

Hitoshi chuckled. "He said that she was way out of my league."

Midorya was saddened to hear his friend put himself down. "Kubo never thought so. When we were at UA she was always going on about how awesome you were." They had reached Hitoshi's apartment building now. Hitoshi got quiet.

"Then why did she cheat on me?" His voice cracked. "I thought she loved me." He fumbled with his keys. He was having trouble getting them out of his pocket.

"The thing is Shinsou...I don't think she did."

Hitoshi scoffed and waved his hands around. "Whatever man." Hitoshi finally got his apartment door unlocked and stumbled inside.

"Hey Shinsou?"

"Hmm?" Hitoshi grunted as he kicked his shoes off. One of them flew off and broke a lamp. "Ah fuck." He pointed to the lamp that was now broken on the ground. "Hey! The lamp looks like my soul right now. Shattered into tiiiiiiiiny pieces." He let out a cold laugh. "I can't have nice things."

"Shinsou, was the fact she was with Bakugou bother you or was it just the supposed cheating."

Hitoshi sighed as he plopped down on the couch. "I couldn't give less of a fuck if she banged Bakugou while they worked together. Yeah, he's a dick, but she's an adult and it's her life."

"Do you still love her?" Midorya asked sitting beside him.

Hitoshi rubbed his eyes. "God I love her so much. I miss her Midorya. Even now, after everything that's happened, I want to know if she's okay." Hitoshi looked over at Midorya with sad puppy dog eyes. "Is she okay?"

Midorya wasn't sure what to say that would make Hitoshi feel better but decided not to sugar coat anything. He asked so he was going to tell him the truth. "No Shinsou. She's really not. She hasn't left her house, hell she's barely left her bed, she hasn't been picking up her phone. Ochaco had to force her to eat for the first time in 4 days tonight."

Tears welled him in Hitoshi's eyes. "Fuck..." he breathed out.

"I don't think you'll remember this tomorrow, but you really should talk to her Shinsou. I don't think things went down the way Bakugou told you they did."

"Oh yeah? Well, have him admit that to my face then." Hitoshi leaned back on the couch and blacked out.

Midorya sighed looking over his truly broken best friend. "Okay Shinsou. We'll do just that."

[silly-nonny-fics-are-for-fandoms]

Artistic differences

BakuKamiweek day 4 (Part 1) : Band AU @officialbakukamiweek Summary: ’The Squad’ was known for having the most diverse types of music, sometimes slow ballads and others heart pounding rock songs. But the drummer and the lead guitarist have never been able to agree on a single type of song they enjoyed best. How do they work so well together? Read on Ao3

When people saw 'The Squad' in concert, no one would guess that the Drummer and the Guitarist had vastly different tastes in music. No one would even think about how they differed with how perfectly their music flowed, their voices adding in perfect touches here and there. Songs varied in genre, making it a band which could appeal to all. A song list released before the tickets were even available to be sold, so people could go listen to that one song they adored more than anything in concert. Some performances were themed by genre, even better for some who enjoyed their music without liking a specific song.

Some songs were uplifting, happy and energetic about loving life, enjoying it while they can and generally pick-me-up songs. Others, well, they'd won awards for the emotions and realty depicting anxiety, depression, and what it felt like to have suicidal thoughts.

One song, a universal favorite, was called 'I'll save myself', about someone figuring out they needed to seek help for their issues, usually set to a catchy pop tune though occasionally put into other genres.

"And I'll take steps all on my own, to help save myself, not sit alone on my lonely throne; Finding things to prove this life is ultimately meaningless, ultimately meaningless.

To those who tore me bent me and broke me, left me all alone; you can watch me now, because I'll save myself, but I can't do it on my own. We can do this together; Help bad feelings to pass just like the weather."

People sang out their hearts, told them the song had saved their lives; even Bakugo would admit it was humbling.

'How did you come up with it?' The reporters asked, and Jirou, the lead singer, always told them the same thing.

"Everyone in our band has some kind of depression. Bakugo's is linked with his PTSD, Denki's got more mental issues than I can count, Toko and I have clinical depression. Momo has a situational depression from stress. We wanted to help people realize that therapy is an option, it's not something to be ashamed of. Heck, on our tour bus, there are two therapy animals and they kinda help us all out. The world is full of shit, get the help you need to make it less so."

Kaminari would always chime in with Momo, "If you have medication, take it! Don't ignore it!" Before Kaminari would remember that he forgot his ADHD medication, and quickly leave to make sure he took them.

Another question which came up was 'Is your diverse musical styles to reach more fans?' and everyone always answered

"No. We just can't agree on music. Ever."

Even in Katsuki and Denki's house, which they shared due to their relationship, music was almost never playing due to this fact. Their pets provided enough noise for both of them.

Bakugo recalled when they'd announced their relationship to the world, and how people had revolted from their music as a result. Just because the world was getting more and more progressive didn't mean there wasn't still biased, judgemental assholes. And an all LGBTQA+ band didn't seem to deter them anymore, even showing up and rioting at their performances.

Even now, as he looked at his boyfriend, he couldn't forgive them. Denki laid down on their bed, Nana, Jig, and Nick laying around him, and the stark white of the cast on his right hand and up his forearm stuck out.

He'd been cornered after a show when he'd volunteered to go out and buy drinks for them all. They'd attempted to beat his face in, but it seemed they'd been dumb or ignorant enough to not do their research into their backgrounds. All of the band members were trained in hand to hand combat, had been since high school where they'd met. But they were stronger than him, and when Todoroki, a friend of theirs who was traveling with them, had shown up looking for him, they'd broken Denki's hand.

"I warned you someone's hand would get damaged with me around," Todoroki mourned later, mumbling about some hand crusher curse. Bunch of bullshit is what it was.

The tour had been put on hold until Denki's hand healed. Their fans, wonderful and amazing in every way, had understood completely that they wanted to make sure everyone got exactly what they'd paid for. Denki couldn't play or sign anything, but the whole band made sure everyone who sent Denki get well soon gifts or letters got an autographed thank you, with a different photo from their various tours attached.

Twitter had exploded when the letters arrived in return, and their official twitter responded to the blow up with a video of Denki attempting to play with a cast and him thanking everyone for their kind letters and gifts.

They broke the internet, a fact which made Katsuki laugh to this day.

Though, even with the glamour and fame that came with being in the number one band, he preferred moments like this. He watched as Denki curled closer to him, his uncasted hand clinging to his pant leg as their cats purred and Nana slept lazily next to him, basking in the sunlight streaming through the window.

"Morning," Denki whispered, golden eyes alight with mischief despite it still being early.

"Mornin'," Katsuki smirked, "Bitch."

"Says the biggest bitch I know," Denki chuckled, knowing Katsuki didn't really mean harm by the word.

"The dumbasses are coming over," Scrolling away on his phone, Katsuki felt Jig move by his leg, getting up and sauntering off to do whatever cats do. Nick would follow in a minute, but Nana would always stay with one of them.

"Which group of dumbasses?" Denki sat up, stretching slightly. Katsuki's shirt was big enough on him that it hung off of his shoulder, though he had taken to wearing his boyfriend's shirts because the cast was a horrible thing to wear sweaters with and most of Denki's closet had tight sleeves otherwise. So, the boyfriend shirt. Perfect solution.

"Our actual fucking squad." Katsuki rolled his eyes as Jig stepped on his leg, hissing at him like he'd done something wrong by being there.

"If you're talking extended, then we're going to have like. Ten guests? The band, plus Kiri and Mina and Sero, Shinsou and Camie-"

"Camie is too damn gossip hungry," Katsuki growled, "She may be a part of the squad but until you're better, she's not coming over."

"Aww, sweetie," Denki grinned, slipping off of the bed as carefully as he could, unfortunately waking Nana, "You care."

"If you're going to try kissing me, wait until you fucking brush your teeth." Katsuki waited on the bed for Denki to do so, trying not to itch at the cast. "How much longer are you in that fucking thing?"

"Uh," Denki paused, thinking on how long the doctor had said, "I think doc said six weeks."

"Fucking forever, got it."

"Hey, Kacchi?" Denki pulled out his best puppy dog eyes, and along with the nickname, he got his boyfriend's attention with a raised eyebrow.

"What the fuck do you want, idiot?"

"Can I put on music? It's supposed to rain, so I'm going to be stuck inside!"

"None of that fucking peppy shit."

"You only like depressing songs, Kacchi!" He chuckled, going over to their bookshelf of CDs, "I'm gonna put on my favorite, okay?"

"If you put on those fucking chipmunks, I'm dumping you."

"You always threaten that, but whenever Christmas rolls around you seek them out." With a chuckle, Denki picked out the CD of choice, an album of the top one hundred pop songs of the last year. His favorite song to dance to was on here, and, ironically, three of their songs had made it onto the disk. One was sung by himself.

Katsuki would never admit it, but that was his favorite song. Denki sang about happy, uplifting things. That song had been about the wonders of each season, aptly titled 'Seasons' and Katsuki had never been able to get enough of it. Winter for cuddling by the fire and rest, Spring for new beginnings, Summer for the fulfillment of wishes, and Autumn for rekindling old flames.

Another song was on this album, one sung by Katsuki. It was Denki's favorite song to listen to, to dance to, and to hear him sing. 'Better go big' was the song, and their band had won song of the year with it. Live life to the fullest, fuck whatever people said, do it, however, the fuck you wanted. The message was clear; It's your life, you only get one and you're not going home, so you had better go big. Fight your way out of whatever box people try to put you into. Fight and win.

Even if they couldn't agree on what style of music was their favorite, they could both agree the songs sung by their favorite person held special places in their hearts.

[kallyjadestilinski]

Yellow Strings (Stiles Stilinski AU) Chapter 6

Author: @kallyjadestilinski

Word Count: 1808

Authors Note: I can not apologize enough for how long I have gone without posting, but I am happy to say that I have a new chapter for y’all. I am so full of ideas for this story, and a major plot is about to take off! Thank you so very much to anyone who continues to read my story, and if anyone else would like to be tagged please let me know! I also have some ideas for short imagines, and fictions if anyone would like to make a request! I HOPE EVERYONE LIKES THIS CHAPTER!

Tags: @fangirl-moment-x

Stiles waited in his room, which he had cleaned and cleaned a million times, for Jade to come through his open window. He couldn’t sit still to save his life and switched from sitting on the bed to on his desk chair at least seven times when he finally saw Jade's silhouette outside his window. Jade slipped into the room with ease and set herself on the bed across from where Stiles was sitting in his desk chair before he finally spoke to her, “how was your hunt?” She looked at him with her glowing green eyes, “good actually. I took down three mountain lions.” She smiled proud of her accomplishment, and first full meal in a while. His face shifted to a face of shock, “three mountain lions?! That’s insane, and that’s a full meal, it sounds like a lot.” She laughed at his comment before explaining that it all depended on how thirsty you were, the last time you hunted, how weak you were, and what you hunted. He nodded taking it all in and she smiled at how serious he looked. She had so quickly learned that Stiles loved to be the one to figure things out, and put two and two together. She looked around his room at the various objects that sat on shelves or hung on walls, but her eyes kept referring back to the elephant in the room. Sitting in the center of his room was a large clear board covered in papers, red tape, and the sloppy handwriting that could only come from the hand of Stiles.

The supernatural side of Beacon Hills had been quite for a sometime now. So long in fact that Stiles had removed mostly everything that covered the board had been cleared. There was no more dread doctors, or desert wolves. Instead the words soulmate, vampire, eyes, and connection were scribbled onto the board. Red tape went between documents, and pictures, and there in the center was a random silly picture the two had taken one of the first times they had truly been around each other since they learned the truth of what they were. “What’s the board for? If you don’t mind me asking.” He stood and walked behind her wrapping his arms around her. They both felt it right then. They both felt at peace, like they had finally found home. Their lips turned upwards at the corners as the calming spark washed over them. It took just a moment before Stiles began to speak. “This is how I figure things out. I want to figure this whole vampire, and soulmate thing out. Well at least straightened out in my mind. I fell for you hard, and fast, and I just want to make sure that I know everything I can. I guess so I can do it correctly, or in the best way possible at least.” She leaned her head back onto his chest before speaking, “if anything is too much, or moving too fast please tell me. I know you have had experience with the supernatural before, but not like this. I mean it could change your life as a whole. You have never been around vampires before, we are different, and even I don’t know a lot.” He turned her around, and kissed her passionately, “that is exactly why I, your favorite future FBI agent, am here. I not only want to figure out this whole soulmate thing, but I want to help you figure out more of who you are. We are soulmates Jade we are in this together through thick, and thin. I hate to break it to you, but your soul got matched with probably the craziest yet best person ever.” She could contain her laughter as she hugged her perfect match.

They continued on for hours on end talking, laughing, and cuddling underneath the covers on his bed. Lucky for them it was the beginning of spring break, and they didn’t have to wake up for school the next morning. Before they knew it they had both drifted into a soft, and deep sleep. Stiles was suddenly jerked away from his peaceful state of mind by the feeling of Jades body being yanked from his arms. He shot up in bed and looked over to where Jade was shaking, sobbing, and jerking in her sleep. She wrestled with her subconscious as Stiles was doing everything he could to wake her up. Suddenly her body shot up in bed nearly knocking Stiles to the floor, she was sweating and shaking just like she had been doing every single night since she was changed. Jade and Stiles looked at each other, pain evident behind both of their eyes, before she suddenly began to sob once again. He did the only thing he knew that could possibly help, and pulled her into his arms. He knew he heard what she had said clearly. Right before she had woken up he heard her ask for Edmund to leave her alone. He looked down at his love, and all he could feel was pain. He wanted to erase the awful memory of her transformation away, and only leave her with every happy memory he could possibly think of. But instead he did the next best thing, and that was to simply be there.

By the time they woke up the sun had been in the sky for some time. Stiles sat up stretching his arms before looking over to Jade, she was still fast asleep with her arm still draped over his waist lazily.  He couldn’t help but smile and lay down for just another minute putting his arm back over her waist. Before long her opened up to meet his, and there it was. The moment that seemed to be frozen in time, like the ones you see in movies and read about in books. They just locked their eyes together, and they simply could not look away. The corners of their mouths turned up, but before he could fully lean forward to place a soft kiss to her forehead his door was opened and Papa Stilinski walked in declaring that breakfast was ready before stopping halfway in the room shocked to see Jade in bed with his son. “Well I guess I will make more eggs, so I can be properly introduced to your new friend,” and with that he walked back out the door leaving Stiles stunned, and Jade holding her stomach to help contain her fits of laughter.

Downstairs things went a lot better than either of the two believed that it would. Now that Noah was in on the world of the supernatural he was a lot more understanding of most of the things that Stiles and his friend were up to when they were not home. Or even when they were home. Stiles explained that Jade was a vampire, and that she hunted animals, but before they went downstairs they had both agreed to keep the soulmate thing on the down low with people outside the pack until they had more time to process the fact of it themselves. Jade couldn’t help but feel her heart drop to her stomach thing of how great the relationship between the two was. She missed that. She missed morning sitting with her mom drinking coffee, and nights of listening to her dad play guitar. She missed having a family.

Spring Break was something they, and every other high school student of course, had looked forward to, but they had no idea what to do with the free time they were given...or the new relationship that was beginning to form between them. It took most of most of the day to decide that the best thing for the group to do was take full advantage of the fact that not only did they have a week off of school, but a lake nearby that Lydia knew very well, and tons of sleeping bags and tents. Lydia knew the perfect spot by the lake, and next to the lake house that her family used to own. The rest of the day was spent packing, mostly at Jade’s apartment. Stiles took the time of Jade being focused on her packing to wander around her apartment looking at the few things scattered. “Hey baby girl I know you said you had to run away, but how do you have so many things? I thought you had to run away or something…” Stiles called out from the living room. Jade rounded the corner with a full duffel bag on her arm. “After a month or so I went back to my old home, grabbed a bunch of different random things from my room. Clothes mainly, but a few odds and ends. Like my favorite books and pictures; everything else I have picked up from different stores and garage sales along the way. It feels empty in here doesn’t it?” Jade looked around at the bare walls and empty shelves that only made her feel more alone when she was alone at night. He watched the joy leave her face for only a second, and that was a heartbreaking second. The look of loneliness is one he never wanted to see cross her face ever again.

They all met at Derek's apartment, and Jade looked around at each member of the pack. They each held the hand of their significant other tightly smiling at each other, talking, and genuinely enjoying eachothers company. Suddenly Lydia loudly coughed to get the attention of the pack who continued to talk and laugh, “if I have to be any louder to get the attention of you loud asses I will scream.” Suddenly the entire pack became silent and Lydia smiled proudly, “now that you are all silent your Alpha would like to speak.” She smiled and rolled her eyes as Scott stood in the most hilarious way insanely happy with the fact that Lydia actually gave him the introduction he had jokingly told her to give. “Well guys I just wanted to give Jade her formal introduction into the pack, so welcome Jade. I hope you enjoy being a part of the family as much as we do,” Scoot gave the whole speech with a smile. Jades jaw dropped, and she looked up at Stiles with tears in her eyes and he nodded before wrapping his arms around her waist.  “Thank you guys, for literally everything,” her glowing green eyes almost seemed to shine a slight bit brighter. Everyone smiled in one of the most content ways possible before issac suddenly clapped loudly, “LET’S GET THIS CAMPING TRIP STARTED! SHALL WE?” And with that every person clapped, and cheered, and celebrated. This was going to be an eventful camping trip for sure. 

[mysplaced-pen]

You and Your Words [V x MC]

Here’s a V angst no one asked for and when I told people about it, I got yelled at with “AMS O U C H” :))) 💛 

inspired by Burn from Hamilton ヽ(ヅ)ノ and a thanks to the dialogue in Secret Ending 1

[ Word Count: 1962 ]

Jihyun believed in souls. He also believed in soulmates. Thinking back, he talked about it so much that MC was really convinced they were his soulmate. They were going to be together for the rest of their lives, knowing their souls belonged to each other. MC was confident in that future and they were sure Jihyun was too. The two of them had talks about it almost nightly, generating a fantasy of the future - complete with kids, a dream house, and talk of growing old together. They really did feel like soulmates.

Apparently, they were wrong.

It was during his newest exhibition where Jihyun would experience a beginning and an ending. He was there walking around and chatting with visitors, but someone caught his eye. She had been standing by this one photograph of a pink flower he took in the mountains for almost an hour today alone, and she stopped by yesterday as well - the least he could do was stop by and say hello.

Or, that was the plan, but he caught her just when she was speaking. “..Beautiful.” She whispered. “Do you like it?” He asked, stopping a few feet from her. “Yes, I love it.” The girl looked away from the photo to Jihyun, a polite but obviously confused look on her face. She was beautiful - long, blonde hair, green eyes, a pretty face - but that didn’t matter to Jihyun. He had MC, and besides, this woman was not the first beautiful lady he encountered. Nevertheless, something about her still made him curious. “Excuse me, but who are you?” She asked, bringing his attention back to her. “The one who took this photo.” He answered, a hint of a smile on his face. What? He could afford to be a little smug. Her face lit up a little bit, “You must be V, the photographer!” Jihyun nodded with a small chuckle, “You’ve been standing here for almost an hour, so I came to say hello. And didn’t you come yesterday too?” “Yes…the photo was so beautiful I just had to come for another look.” “I’m glad you like it, please enjoy it.” He smiled and was about to walk away. “Wait! I had something to ask you.” “What is it?” 

“The sun is the mother of all things. This flower wouldn’t have come to life if the sun hadn’t exuded energy. This consistent love and warmth, I feel it from all your pieces! Do you think a world…where our fears are gone and filled with love and warmth, like when I see your photographs, will ever come? Do you believe we all can become the sun one day?” Her words shocked him. He had never thought about that, never thought he could make someone feel that way. Maybe that’s what caught his attention. “No,” He said, “I don’t have such profound thoughts when I take photos. I’m not that great.” “You are great, V. Just by taking photos like this.”

Now, V felt like doing something crazy. Well, not that crazy since he had done it before. In fact, he did this when he met MC too. “Thank you…do you want this photograph?” He could see her eyes light up a little bit, but it faded quickly. “I love it, but I don’t have enough money to purchase it.” Jihyun smiled brightly, sure he was totally going to make her day. “I’ll give it to you as a gift. Please let the receptionist know your name, address, and phone number.” The lady blinked, “What? Oh, I can’t accept such an expensive piece!” They went back and forth for a little bit until Jihyun settled it. “How about this? I’ll give you this photograph, and you can buy me coffee after this exhibition. Your thoughts made a big impression on me and I’d like to hear more of how you see life. Oh, can I ask your name?” She paused for a moment, thinking it over. Which gave Jihyun time to do the same. It wasn’t a bad idea, her thoughts really did intrigue him…and that was it anyways. He wanted to hear her thoughts on the world, it might give him a new outlook on how to take his photographs. And he could really use a coffee. MC was working late and they trusted each other. He’ll just send her a text.

“It’s…Rika.” The lady - Rika - answered him. “My name is Rika.” He smiled, “Is that your real name?” She shook her head, “Well, let me tell you mine. People call me V, but my name is Jihyun Kim.”

How coffee turned into this, Jihyun had no idea. It was about 10:30pm and Jihyun was stumbling into he and MC’s house, but with Rika chasing after him, their lips clashing as he pushed her inside. Jihyun had never been this frantic before. Not even because he was worried about MC coming home, but because he was desperate. Desperate for this feeling, for this person who he was leading to his bedroom. The person not being MC. MC being the furthest thing from his mind at the moment. 

MC, his soulmate. Right? Or… “V…” Rika’s voice brought him out of his thoughts and MC was out of his mind again. It was just Rika. Rika. Rika. “Rika.” Jihyun breathed out.

Maybe MC wasn’t his soulmate.

That was a mistake. That whole night was a mistake. But…Jihyun kept going back to Rika. MC had no idea about what had happened, nonetheless that it was still happening. And it wasn’t even just sex, it was practically a full on relationship full of dates, small kisses, cuddling after sex. But Jihyun was hiding it from MC. Hiding this…relationship? From the person he called his soulmate.

He had a system. Two phones - one for MC, one for Rika. He wrote letters to both of them, showed them both the photographs he took, talked to both of them daily. It was eating away at him, but the more he did this, the more disappointed he felt himself becoming when it was MC instead. He wanted more of Rika, felt more of a connection with Rika. MC was losing their grip on his soul.

MC noticed something was wrong when their nightly talks got more and more infrequent. Nightly turned into every other night. Every other night turned into once a week. And now…nothing. Was something wrong with Jihyun? He did seem a bit more depressed lately. And he took a lot more trips than before. Well, he was getting more and more attention, it was probably just to get the perfect shot.

They thought nothing of it. Until the scandal broke out.

‘Famous Photographer V Engaged?! Who Is This Mystery Girl?’ Mystery Girl? MC asked themselves when they first saw it. People knew they were dating - though the gender situation was still unclear to them, but that wasn’t the point - but why did they assume they were engaged? Wait. Who was that?

There was another woman in the photo, one that MC had never seen or heard of before. Her and Jihyun were holding hands, looking like they were running across the street. She was holding a hand up to try and cover her face, but there was…a ring on her finger?

No, it was just a friend of Jihyun’s. Someone he was helping, as always. There was no way- The phone rang and MC glanced at it. It was Yoosung, so she picked up. “Yoosung?” “MC, did you see the news?” Right away, then. “About Jihyun? Yeah, but I didn’t hear anything from him y-” “I know who that is.” MC blinked. But they didn’t say anything, so Yoosung continued. “ She’s my cousin. And she had been talking about a boyfriend for a while now. I never got to meet him, but she mentioned things that match V…I should have told you, but I didn’t think that-” “Yoosung?” MC cut him off. It took a second, but he answered. “Yeah, MC?” “What things matched V that she told you about?” “Uh…he had an unusual hair color, he was a photographer..” “Give me specifics, Yoosung.” “There was something about letters…” MC hung up.

And as soon as they did, V walked through the door. “MC-” “V. What is this all about?” “It was a mistake. I was only-” The TV in the background cut him off again. “This just in! Photographer V released a statement! There’s…letters? A bunch of letters, apparently back and forth between this new girl?! Should we read some of them? Oh, this one-” V turned off the TV. “MC…” “You should go, V.” “…MC…”

MC didn’t speak again, they just walked off into their room. They knew V was behind them, but they didn’t care. MC wouldn’t speak a word to him again, but this was going to show him. They went straight to their shared nightstand, opening a drawer and throwing out all the clothes. “MC-” V tried, but MC pulled out a box at the bottom of it. They opened it, taking out pieces of paper. No, letters. They stared at them for a second before taking a deep breath. “I saved every one of these you wrote me. From the moment I read them, I knew you were mine. You said you were mine….I thought you were mine.”

V looked at MC helplessly, looking like he was about to speak, but MC beat him to it. “You and your words flooded my senses, left me defenseless. You built me palaces out of paragraphs, built cathedrals.” They looked back down at the letters, smiling in fond remembrance, but could also feel the tears filling their eyes. “The world seemed to burn..” Their voice hiccuped at the last word, hands holding the papers tighter. “You published the letters she wrote you. Told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed.” The tears were spilling over now, and MC turned around, glaring at him. “You and your words, obsessed with your legacy. How they perceive you! You, you, you….!”

There was a pause after that, but MC held up their glare. V took a step back from them, tears building up for him as well. But that didn’t make MC back down. It only fueled them. “You have torn it all apart.” They stomped past him, pushing him out of the way to their built-in fireplace. Luckily, it was electronic, so MC turned it on and it started up quickly. “The world has no right to my heart! The world has no place in our bed. They don’t get to know what I said. I’m burning the memories, the letters that might have redeemed you.”

“MC!-” V ran over, trying to grab the letters, or at least one of them, from MC, but they were quicker. They pushed him away with both hands, pointing a finger at him and raising their voice. “Jihyun Kim, you forfeit all rights to my heart! You forfeit the place in our bed! You’ll sleep in her apartment instead! With only the memories of when you were mine…!” MC broke out into a full sob at their ‘mine’.

The next moment felt like forever, but MC was standing there, sobbing while V looked at them. Tears were rolling down his cheeks as well, but he knew it was over. There was no way he could fix this.

MC opened their eyes, glaring at V one more time. “I hope that you burn.” They said before turning around and throwing the letters into the fireplace. “MC!” V yelled, watching the letters he wrote them turning into ashes.

“So much for soulmates.” And MC walked past him, towards the door.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

11/15/19 3:33am - goin home, trying new things

So the trip home to see the family was wonderful. Actually I spent a little too long watching TV before leaving and waiting for the gas guy to turn on the heat, so I left a little late and was damn near passing out on the drive over. Had to stop a few times to nap, but made it. Got caught up on The Adventure Zone again. I’m really excited for this new story they’re gonna do, it’s like Harry Potter meets My Hero Academia. Pretty fuckin neato.

But yeah I got there had a beer with my mom and went to the game and froze my fucking BALLS off watching taven play football. ugh jesus. And the poor guys were against a team like 4 times bigger than them, I swear they didn’t get double digit offensive yardage. They’d get an offsides call and start first and 5, hand off the ball to taven three times in a row and he’d pick up 1 yard, 1 yard, -2 yards, and they’d punt it away again. I don’t think I saw a single first down lol. Taven got hurt so we left in the fourth, they were down 77-0 with 10 minutes left -_-

But still, good to see him play lol. It wasn’t about watching a win, it was about being there for him on his birthday. Fuck that sucks though lol. I always hated playing in the cold. 

Most of the weekend I hung out with wes at his and jenny’s place. We did hang out with mom and the fam for a bonfire on saturday, I ate as much guac as I could fit in my face, we had a couple beers, made some fires. It was sweet. Then we played some super metroid before I started passing out.

Sunday wes and I beat the game and went to breakfast. My dad wasn’t around so I drove out to visit JMell in NoVa instead. His place is pretty nice, and we mostly watched some funny youtube videos. Good ol Rack Em Willie and other crackhead vids and this guy Super Sus and general nonsense. Couldn’t go crazy because I needed to make it back for work.

So I drove back. Made it to Jill’s at 2 and she helped keep me awake until I needed to get ready for work because I picked up a daytime shift from 7 to 5. And I slogged through that just fine. Got a raise at work, but like the bare minimum, but I’llll fucking take it. It’s been the exact same as every other time I got a raise I think lmfao. A little extra pocket cash to throw at new toys is nothing to scoff at, though, I need another butt plug and stuff lmfao. 

I was supposed to roll from there to durham to watch the new rick and morty, but I passed out and overslept by an hour instead. fucking hate when my bodily needs get in the way of me trying to hang out with people for 48 hours straight, yknow? Sucks.

But I went to slosh still, had a lovely chill time. Made plans to go home to Jill but ended up bouncing to another bar with a bunch of people there and drank for another hour. Got me in a little hot water, but whatever. Worth it I think lol. I just can’t help myself from hanging out with as many people as long as possible. 

Jill and I woke up at like 2 and hung out most of the day just fucking around watching tv. I bailed to go run some errands and do karaoke. Had to get some epoxy so I could put together my butt plug tail. I finally knocked that out this evening before work, I think it turned out great. Gotta try it out soon :3

But karaoke was quiet. Not a lot of people came out because it was like bitter cold and windy and had been raining all day. So on the plus side I got to sing like five songs. On the downside, I didn’t get to flirt with any new people lolol. An old stripper friend I had made there, Kellene, showed up and we talked about how I was in her dream the night before and chit chatted a bit. Got to sing a little together, I love her fucking voice. But at the end of the night she asked me for some money to help pay for her tab. I was like sure and gave her $8, she said I was sweet asked if I wanted to do anything with her I was like huwhaaa I guess? maybe we make out somewhere? Idk. Then she roams the room around and comes back and asks me for money again and I was like dude I gave you everything in my wallet, you have my $8 right there in your hand. And she says “no this is my $8 I got it from my purse,” while she opens her purse and pulls the rest of the money she needs out of it. I was like... pretty flabbergasted. Like not like floored, more still amused than anything. Drunk people are funny.

Also after I sang some Drake my beautiful bartender Jaime said I should sing Frank Ocean. Killed it singing self control, and she like held my hands and said I love you like she has the past couple weeks. I made a slight mistake and let my curiosity get the better of me. It’s definitely a rule of mine to not ask girls who are working out, but I was just like “look I know this is a little inapprop, but would you want to go out sometime?” and she says “yeah, as friends, definitely.” and I’m like oooooof. She had to take care of another customer so I just walked away from that one. Glad I cleared that up though I really thought she was being flirty and cutesy but I’m just a knucklehead. Could’ve been worse lmfao. 

Anyway, went home with Jill, we hung out all day again watching this mediocre 911 show. Kinda fun at points though. It was mostly nice just chilling with her early since I’d blown her off til really late a couple times in a row. 

Then spice was last night and ho. my. god. It was the normal confection of watching people get beat, not meeting as people this time around because I knew a whole bunch of people that were there already. But I did meet a few. Hung out with the cute boy from the fashion show for a while. We have these like really awkward pauses in conversation though where he doesn’t like ask me anything and I run out of things to say but he’s just staring at me and grinning so intently. Idk, man.  Lol. I was supposed to do a scene that I had talked out with someone, but they unfortunately called in sick. So I thought I wasn’t gonna do anything, but then I ended up chit chatting with Neko and he offered to beat on me that night.

Wowowoww bottoming a REAL impact scene was intense. Like IN. TENSE. like I was thinking about tapping out a few times from the pain of it, but then he’d take a break and scratch me or rub my back and it would just feel so gooooood. By the end I was taking these hits in the back and like shivering with excitement/adrenaline/idk what. He like threw his thigh between my legs while I was up on the cross to support me and started rubbing my back and bit my shoulder and hnnnnng. god I just started lightly scratching and chewing on his arm. I was literally in uncontrollable shivers and giggles afterward, it was actually probably too much lol but I lovvvved it. I feel like I really Get it now. Especially as I sit on my ass covered in bruises today lol. Then my friend Bun squish cuddled me until I came back down to normalcy. Maya and Jill came to watch, actually, they got to see it happen so that was kinda rad. Jill wanted to go dancing at alchemy afterward but I was like no fucking way could I dance after taking that lol. So I drug them out to boxcar with me and we played some galaga and skee ball and foosball and tekken. Me and Jill almost got a shutout on Maya+some rando, and then the randos were like nahhhh so I beat Jill+Maya 2v1. We played again later and I lost the set though. But I was dressed up as a kitty all through boxcar lol, kinda neat. We stayed up til 6am just watching Daria and ranodm youtube shit. 

Slept a long time, almost had a weird fight with Jill, smoothed that over, took a bath for a few hours and I’ve been working. Excited to get off though, but not for any reason in particular. Just fuck work I guess? lol.

I really felt like I needed to write about that impact scene while it was fresh. It’s kinda stuck in my head. :3 

I’ve got emo karaoke in a few days, should be a lot of fun. <3 nothing too exciting coming up though. Having to schedule a bunch of extra work days to appease my boss kinda suckkssss but whatever I’ll take the money lol.

[carey-pricemas]

Darkness- JVR

Alright so we know I like to write fluffy and soft hockey players. Well lately I've been struggling with my depression, a lot. So I wrote this angsty one with my boo because I thought it might make me feel better and it did. If you struggle with depression, this may seem familiar and if you don't, maybe it'll give you a look into at least my head. Nothing makes depression better instantly. It's a bunch of small things piled together to make you feel like you're worth something again. So without further ado... the imagine!

Warning: Depression

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              You lay on the bed in ball, watching the snow hit the window and trickle down as it melted. It had hit again.

              Hard, fast, and without warning like it usually does.

              You had come home from the game after saying goodbye to James and just... broke down.

              He was going to be gone for two weeks and it isn't like this is the first long road trip you've been through. You've been with him for years, but the thing that was changing this road trip?

              Your depression.

              You've been in bed for two days. You'd get up and wander to the kitchen occasionally, but you were never hungry. You forced yourself to eat some crackers every once in a while, and you ate a whole container of chocolate ice cream, but you just didn't care.

              It hadn't been this bad in a while and that scared you.

              You still took your medications (otherwise you might have done something stupid by now), but other than that, you ignored everything and just slept.

              You hated yourself for it.

              You had managed to turn on the game and watch about half of it before it turned into such a blowout you couldn't manage to keep going.

              The NHL app told you the final was 7-0. James was going to be upset.

              The only reason you were still awake was because he always called after his games. Well he called every day, but these days you had to stay up late. It was part of his routine and one you usually didn't have a problem with. Now though?

              All you wanted to do was sleep some more.

              You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay.

              You just wanted all of these feelings to go away.

              You were startled by the ringing of your phone. You picked it up and took a deep breath before answering the call.

              "Hey babe" you said gently.

              "Hey. Please tell me you didn't watch that" James pleaded in your ear.

              "I watched about half" you admitted. "It wasn't that bad!"

              "Babe" he said incredulously, "did you miss the turnovers, the lack of D, our goalie giving up, or all the uncalled penalties?"

              "No I saw all of that" you admitted. "Look you guys aren't going to win every game. Everyone loses in a blowout game at least once a season."

              "Yeah, but..."

              "No buts" you cut him off. "And no blaming yourself! This is a team sport and yes every single person on that team blew it tonight. Here's the thing though, Jamie. There's always tomorrow."

              "How'd I get the cheerleader?" he chuckled.

              "You forget. When you first started in Toronto, a 7 nothing game was a thing of regularity. Now it's not and that’s why it hurts. But you'll power through it. I promise."

              "Yeah, you're right." James paused. "How are you doing?"

              "Fine" you blatantly lied. That was the good thing about phone calls and not Face Timing, which James wasn't fond of since the guys always tried to do stupid stuff, you could get away with it. If he could see your face, he'd know you’re lying.

              "Feeling ok?" he pressed. He knew you. He could read you.

              "Yeah, why?"

              "Molly said she tried to call and couldn't get a hold of you then tried to stop by the apartment, but you didn't answer" he said.

              "I might have been asleep or at the store" you lied. Note to self: You had to go to the grocery store before James got home. James was silent for a minute.

              "So if Molly was to come over now?"

              "I'm here in my pjs" you stated. At least that was the truth.

              "Hold on" he told you. "I need to call you back." James immediately hung up the call. You turned in bed and faced the wall, watching as shadows played across the dark grey you and James had chosen for the wall color.

              'FaceTime Call from Jamie <3'

              "Shit" you hissed. You couldn't ignore the call, but you couldn't answer it either. He would know either way and demand Molly come and take care of you and you just couldn't handle that right now. You answered reluctantly.

              "I knew it" he said softly. "You're not ok."

              "I'm managing" you croaked, tears falling.

              "Dammit, (Y/N), why didn't you tell me?"

              "It's stupid" you mumbled.

              "Babe, I love you. It's NOT stupid. Tell me what's going on in that gorgeous head of yours." You bit your lip and sat up in bed, debating whether you should burden him or not. "Please."

              "How did you know?" you asked, your voice cracking.

              "Molly said she saw your car but you didn't answer and while you were being my cheerleader, you sounded off. I can tell, (Y/N). Don't you know? I've memorized every one of your voices and expressions and I can tell when you're faking it. So," James paused. "What's going on?"

              "I don't know" you cried. "You left and I just felt so alone and I just cried and I've been sleeping all the time and I just... I hate myself."

              "Hey hey now. None of that" he said softly. "Were you feeling it before I left?"

              "I mean I was feeling more tired than usual, but I mean my spirit was normal" you answered. James nodded.

              "Have you eaten anything?" You shrugged and looked over at the ice cream carton and cracker wrapper. "Alright I'm ordering you Chinese. I want you to eat some ok?" You nodded. "I know you don't want to, but I need you to, ok? We'll talk it out, babe. Always."

              That was what you loved most about James. When you were first diagnosed with depression, he never treated you any differently and always seemed to know how to deal with it. He would always worry about you first, himself second. He'd cook and clean and let you sleep and draw you baths and just overall made you feel worthwhile again.

              It was just what you needed.

              "Now, I'll be home soon, ok? And when I get home we'll have a nice bath and some cuddling while we watch Disney movies, yeah?" You nodded, a small smile crossing your face. "You've been taking your meds, right?" You nodded once again. "Good. And have you called your doctor yet?" You shrugged and looked away. "No worries, I'll call in the morning." James reached over and wrote a note on a hotel pad of paper. "Do you want company? I'll figure out a babysitter for Kanon or maybe Steph would come sit if you want?"

              "No, I feel really gross and contagious" you admitted. James smiled sadly at you.

              "It's not contagious babe. I promise, but ok no company. What else can I do to make things better?"

              "Nothing" you whispered.

              "Is it snowing there?" he asked. You looked out the window, once again transfixed by the white powder running down the window.

              "Yeah" you breathed. It was so beautiful and calming. It was quiet when your head was chaos.

              "Why don't you grab a blanket and sit on the balcony for a minute or two? I know the peace sometimes helps" he suggested.

              "Will you stay with me?" you asked instantaneously. "I'm sorry you need-"

              "Of course I will, (Y/N)." You smile and set the phone down pulling on a pair of fleece pants and James' Leafs hoodie with his number on the sleeves. You took the phone out to the living room and grabbed the throw off the back of the couch and stuck your feet into your sandals as you stumbled outside. You took a few calming deep breaths. "How does it feel?"

              "Cold" you admitted. James laughed, bringing a small smile to your face. "It feels good. There's no one on the roads."

              "Are the lights on?" You looked out over the city.

              "Yeah."

              "Wish I was there with you" he said softly.

              "Me too" you replied. "I'm sorry I'm such a burden."

              "Listen to me. You are NOT a burden, (Y/N). That is the depression talking. I love you. Even when you're down you are still my biggest cheerleader. So you have bad days, or weeks, or hell maybe even months, but we are a pair. We'll make it through."

              "I love you too, Jamie." There was a knock on the front door. You stepped back into the warm apartment and made your way to the door. As you opened it, the smell of food made your stomach rumble. James chuckled over the line. You took the food and signed the receipt before closing and locking the door.

              "Hungry now that food is there?"

              "Yeah" you admitted sitting on the couch and pulling out the containers.

              "Good. After why don't you take a nice warm shower and then crawl back into bed?"

              "Can you smell me from there?" you teased. James laughed.

              "No, I just know you." You paused and looked at him.

              "Thanks" you blurted.

              "For what?"

              "Knowing what I need before I do. For knowing me and still loving me."

              "Babe, in this relationship, you're the easy one I promise." You laughed. "Now I need to get some sleep. Text me before you go to bed?"

              "Ok, Jamie."

              "Love you, (Y/N)."

              "Love you too." You ended the call and sat back on the couch with your Chinese in your lap. You still felt like a burden and not worth James' time, but you did feel a little better after eating and maybe the shower might make you more human. You quickly ate and showered before heading back to bed, sending James a text.

              'Bed time for me! Love you!'

              His reply was instantaneous, which surprised you.

              'Good love you too'

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              You woke to a pounding on the door the next day. You slid on James' sweatshirt again and opened the door. A man held out a bouquet of flowers.

              "Mrs. van Riemsdyk?"

              "Close enough" you mumbled. You signed the man's clipboard and took the flowers from his hands, smelling them. You pulled the card out and promptly started crying.

              'Future Mrs. van Riemsdyk, Something pretty that reminded me of you. Beautiful and unique! Love, James'

              You picked up your phone and Face Timed him.

              "Did you get them?" he asked. You could see Mitch looking over his shoulder at you.

              "I did. They're gorgeous" you replied.

              "I picked them!" Mitch yelled. James shoved his face back.

              "Ignore him" James said. "Do you like them?"

              "I love them, thank you!"

              "Like the card said, just to remind you that I think you're unique and beautiful so don't forget it!" You laughed as Auston appeared in the background as well. "Crap I gotta go, plane to catch! Love you!"

              "Love you too!"

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              The next day you had a video message waiting for you on your phone. You opened it up and immediately started laughing.

              Morgan, Mitch, Willy, Zach, and Freddie were all singing some karaoke song to a large crowd. You couldn't tell what song they were singing because they were all singing so loudly and off key (and Freddie's accent shone bright in the microphone) that it was hard to make out the words.

              'And the sad thing is... they're all sober' accompanied the video. You called James immediately.

              "Did you see it?"

              "Did you sing too?"

              "Babe, no. Just no." You laughed.

              "That would have been great though!" James groaned.

              "Not ever happening." You both chatted about your days and your plans, James giving you another pep talk on easy things to do that didn't require interaction with people or too much energy. You fell asleep that night feeling both sad and accomplished by the fact that you had gotten another shower and had microwaved yourself some dinner.

              As you woke up the next morning, you had another video message, this time from Mitch.

              'ENJOY!!!!! XD XD XD XD'

              There on your phone was a video of James karaokeing 'How to Save a Life' by the Fray.

              All you could think?

              He did it for me.

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              They were due back tomorrow morning and you were lost once again.

              After James had started pulling you out of your funk, you had gone to see your doctor and she once again changed your meds and instead of helping, it made things worse.

              You still answered James' calls, but you couldn't even fake giving him lies anymore. You felt even worse that he was so worried about you when he needed to worry about his game. He had tried calling you before this last game of the road trip, but you honestly didn't even have the energy to pick up the phone and hold it to your ear.

              So you ignored it.

              You had the TV turned onto the game, watching but not processing everything that was going on. You saw the Leafs get penalty after stupid penalty and kill each of those off. You saw them tie the game up. You even watched them win in overtime. But none of it penetrated the deep fog your brain was in.

              You just wanted to feel something. Anything.

              You clicked the TV off and rolled over, pulling the covers up over your head. You felt the tears pour as your phone once again rang and you ignored it.

              Why did you have to be like this? Why couldn't you just have been the normal girl who fell in love and everything was hunky-dory? Why did you have to be the broken, fucked up, worthless girl?

              You had cried yourself to sleep before long.

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              You felt the covers being pulled back from your head and you only had one terrifying thought.

              'Please let this murder be quick.'

              "Hey, I know you're awake (Y/N)" James whispered. You opened your eyes and stared into his blue ones. "There's my beautiful girl." He bent down and kissed your nose before sprawling out behind you. You rolled over to look at him before glancing at the clock.

              "What-?"

              "You didn't answer." He said simply, eyes closed and his hand playing with a strand of your hair. "I knew you were back in a bad place and you didn't answer either before or after the game, so I panicked. Bozie and Riles got Babs to agree to fly home tonight instead of the morning and so here we are. All worried about you."

              "Why?" you whispered, tears leaking.

              "Because I love you" he said simply. At that you sobbed hard, body wracking sobs and James immediately pulled you into his arms, stroking your hair and whispering to you gently how much he loved you.

              "You all changed your plans for me" you sobbed to him.

              "We did. Because I needed to know you were ok" he responded. "No matter what, (Y/N), I'm always here for you and you're my number one priority."

              "I love you and don't understand why you love me back" you sobbed.

              "Because you're my personal cheerleader. You give me all of you, the good and the bad, and in return I do the same and you don't judge me. I love you, (Y/N). Always have and always will." James leaned down and gave you a chaste kiss on the lips. "Why don't we get some sleep and we'll start the movies in the morning." You nodded and rolled to your side, staring out the window. This time you weren't alone with your dark thoughts.

              No, you smiled softly as James wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling you close. This time you had James.

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Alright so what did we think? I know it's dark and depressing, but it actually did make me feel a bit better. I need JVR in my life XD Back to our regularly scheduled fluff tonight! Up next: Andre x2, Tyler Seguin, Sidney Crosby, Matt Tkachuk, Derick Brassard, and Sam Reinhardt!