#and watch my punishment with evil satisfaction

[thestuffedalligator]

God do I think a lot about the bit in Monstrous Regiment about old women.

"Women had to cover their hair on Fridays, but there was nothing about this in the Book, which was pretty dar—pretty damn rigorous about most things. It was just a custom. It was done because it had always been done. And if you forgot, or didn’t want to, the old women got you. They had eyes like hawks. They could practically see through walls. And the men took notice, because no man wanted to cross the crones in case they started watching him, so half-hearted punishment would be dealt out. Whenever there was an execution, and especially when there was a whipping, you always found the grannies in the front row, sucking on peppermints."

I can't explain why, I just. God this bit haunts me. This is the most resonant idea that's lived with me for months after I read MR.

[turtle-paced]

Have you ever felt like Martin doesn't like Cersei? The way he writes about her made me question? I mean she is both evil and stupid and it seems like we are supposed to laugh at her.

Cersei is pretty evil, and while I don't believe she's stupid, it's hard not to laugh (incredulously or otherwise) at her many, many bad ideas over the course of the series. Especially in AFFC.

But it's also clear to me that GRRM has compassion for this villain he's created - and that he has right from the start.

Let's put this under a cut for domestic violence and sheer length.

Ned touched her cheek gently. "Has he done this before?" "Once or twice." She shied away from his hand. "Never on the face before. Jaime would have killed him, even if it meant his own life." Cersei looked at him defiantly. "My brother is worth a hundred of your friend." Eddard XII, AGoT

GRRM chooses to frame the pivotal confrontation between Ned and Cersei with the reality of the domestic violence Cersei has experienced. Whatever else happens in that scene, whatever else she's done that might or might not be justified, the author makes sure the reader knows, Ned knows, that Cersei has good reason to hate Robert.

When she hesitated, then sat, Tyrion knew she was lost, despite her loud declaration of, "I will not marry again!" "You will marry and you will breed. Every child you birth makes Stannis more a liar." Their father's eyes seemed to pin her to her chair. Tyrion III, ASoS

This is re-emphasised as Tyrion witnesses Tywin's abuse of Cersei. Even Tyrion, who also has good reason to hate Cersei, cannot help but see how their father completely ignores Cersei's desires, reduces her autonomy to rubble, and above all makes her feel small. This is quite deliberately in Tyrion's PoV to make that dissonance stronger. Cersei is awful, but Tyrion can take no satisfaction in Tywin mistreating her.

Similarly,

His sister sat in a puddle of wine, cradling her son's body. Her gown was torn and stained, her face white as chalk. A thin black dog crept up beside her, sniffing at Joffrey's corpse. "The boy is gone, Cersei," Lord Tywin said. He put his gloved hand on his daughter's shoulder as one of his guardsmen shooed away the dog. "Unhand him now. Let him go." She did not hear. It took two Kingsguard to pry loose her fingers, so the body of King Joffrey Baratheon could slide limp and lifeless to the floor. Tyrion VIII, ASoS

Cersei's grief over watching her son murdered in front of her is a key character moment for her. Is Joffrey a good person? No. Is Cersei's immediate response of demanding Tyrion's arrest a good and just idea? No. Is that grief still real? Absolutely.

It was more than Cersei could stand. I cannot let them see me cry, she thought, when she felt the tears welling in her eyes. She walked past Ser Meryn Trant and out into the back passage. Alone beneath a tallow candle, she allowed herself a shuddering sob, then another. A woman may weep, but not a queen. Cersei III, AFFC

That lasts. It's not healthy but it is genuine. The author isn't putting this in here so we laugh at her. The author is putting this here to help us remember throughout the parade of evil and stupid crap Cersei's about to do that Cersei is a human with human emotions.

And when all that crap has backfired on Cersei, the author makes sure we know that the punishment inflicted on her is not for her sins but instead for her biological sex. He shows her break from that treatment.

Words are wind, she thought, words cannot hurt me. I am beautiful, the most beautiful woman in all Westeros, Jaime says so, Jaime would never lie to me. Even Robert, Robert never loved me, but he saw that I was beautiful, he wanted me. She did not feel beautiful, though. She felt old, used, filthy, ugly. Cersei II, ADWD

The walk of shame is just misogyny, pure and simple, nothing to do with what Cersei's actually done wrong. It is deliberately not karma out to get Cersei. It is deliberately not comeuppance. It is a reminder that Cersei has a point all those times when she points out she's been treated differently because of her sex - even if it's not the whole of the reason people don't respect her.

Even if a reader doesn't think Cersei deserves mercy, even if a reader finds her political bumbling funny, there's a lot around her that shows us that the author wants us to think carefully about what made Cersei both a horrible person and a horrible politician. She is most definitely not there just to be the butt of the author's joke. That's Victarion.

[rvp32]

Whisper of uncontrollable desire. Part 2

My first time writing in a very long time so please show some mercy. Also, this entire story was written in 2 days after seeing the request. Please enjoy and as always any feedback is appreciated.

Giving out punishments was something Eunbi enjoyed immensely. The thrill of asserting control and seeing her obedient girls submit brought her a sense of satisfaction that was hard to match. Tonight, it was Chaewon’s turn. Being the good and obedient girl that she was, Chaewon willingly let herself be stripped and tied up without any resistance. She trusted Eunbi, even though she feared the severity of the impending punishment.

“Mommy, please don’t be too harsh on me. It slipped my mind because of all the activities we had,” Chaewon begged, her voice trembling. Her precious, wide pupu eyes looked up at Eunbi with a pleading expression, hoping to melt her stern demeanor. She knew Eunbi’s punishments could be intense—so intense that they had once led to the cancellation of schedules for two entire weeks after Sakura’s ordeal.

Eunbi’s gaze softened momentarily as she looked down at Chaewon, taking in the sight of her trembling form and tear-filled eyes. She could see the genuine remorse and fear in Chaewon’s expression. Yet, the power she held in moments like these was intoxicating, and she relished the thought of pushing her limits.

“Chaewon, you know I can’t go easy on you just because you’re my favorite,” Eunbi said, her voice firm yet tinged with a hint of warmth. She stroked Chaewon’s cheek gently, the contrast of her touch and her words sending shivers down the younger girl’s spine. “You have to learn to be more careful.”

Tears began to well up in Chaewon’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Mommy. I promise I’ll do better,” she whispered, her voice breaking. She knew that begging might not help, but she couldn’t help but try. The memory of Sakura’s punishment haunted her, and she dreaded enduring something similar.

Eunbi smiled softly, enjoying the mix of fear and anticipation in Chaewon’s eyes. “We’ll see about that, my dear,” she said, her tone a mix of teasing and seriousness. She reached for her tools, each movement deliberate and unhurried, savoring the growing tension.

Chaewon’s heart raced as she watched Eunbi prepare, her mind filled with a chaotic blend of fear, anticipation, and trust. She knew that despite the harshness of the punishment, Eunbi cared deeply for her. That thought was her only solace as she braced herself for what was to come.

“Now, let’s begin,” Eunbi whispered, leaning close to Chaewon’s ear, her breath warm against her skin. “Remember, this is for your own good.”

Chaewon looked to you, “Daddy, Please ask Mommy to show some mercy. I will never forget to take my suppressants again!”

Being the alpha meant that you also had to supervise all the punishments a duty that you didn’t particularly enjoy every time it happened but knew it was necessary. “I am sorry princess but rules are rules.”

And with that last plea, the room was filled with a mix of soft whimpers because of the tool present in Eunbi’s hand, it was a clit focused vibrator, a really strong vibrator that Chaewon loved to use when she got horny but one issue was that this vibrator is too strong. 

Not caring for Chaewon’s whimpers, with the press of a button the toy comes to life. Eunbi places it on the Chaewon’s sensitive bud causing a loud scream. “Mommy!”

Eunbi’s face had a smirk, one so evil that it sent shivers down Chaewon’s spine. Eunbi’s sadistic needs were clearly being satisfied with all the screaming and begging Chaewon was doing. As the punishment intensified, Chaewon’s cries echoed through the room, each one a mix of pain, regret, and a twisted sense of devotion.

“Mommy, please! I’m sorry, I really am!” Chaewon’s voice cracked as she pleaded, her body straining against the restraints. Every word was soaked in desperation, her fear palpable.

Eunbi’s smirk only widened. “I know you are, sweetie,” she said, her tone condescending and cold. “But you have to understand the consequences of your actions.” Her hands moved with calculated precision, each motion deliberate and unyielding.

Chaewon’s body trembled as the pain and pleasure surged through her. Despite the agony, a part of her clung to the belief that this was all for her own good. She trusted Eunbi completely, even in this moment of torment.

“Do you remember why you’re being punished, Chaewon?” Eunbi’s voice was calm, almost soothing, a stark contrast to the intensity of her actions.

“Yes, Mommy,” Chaewon whimpered, her voice barely audible. “I-I wasn’t careful enough… I forgot my suppressants… I’m so sorry…”

“That’s right,” Eunbi said, her hand pausing for a moment as she cupped Chaewon’s cheek gently. “You need to be more responsible. We can’t afford mistakes, can we?”

“N-no, Mommy,” Chaewon stammered, tears streaming down her face. “I’ll be more careful, I promise.”

Eunbi leaned in closer, her breath hot against Chaewon’s ear. “Good girl,” she whispered, her voice sending a chill down Chaewon’s spine. “But promises aren’t enough. You have to prove it.”

The room was filled with the sound of Chaewon’s sobs and Eunbi’s steady, commanding presence. Each whimper and cry only seemed to fuel Eunbi’s sadistic pleasure, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction.

As the minutes ticked by, the punishment continued relentlessly. Chaewon’s body was pushed to its limits, her mind teetering on the edge of exhaustion and pain. Yet, through it all, she clung to the belief that this was for her own good, that Eunbi’s harshness was a twisted form of care.

The room was filled with the smell of sex and the floor coated with Chaewon’s overstimulated pussy juice. The whimpers now turned into screams begging for mercy with incoherent words and sentences. 

“Are you learning your lesson, Chaewon?” Eunbi asked, her voice softening just enough to offer a sliver of comfort.

“Yes, Mommy,” Chaewon gasped, her voice hoarse from screaming. “I-I’ll be better… I’ll do anything to make you proud…”

Eunbi’s expression softened slightly, a hint of warmth breaking through her stern facade. “I know you will, my dear,” she said, her hand stroking Chaewon’s hair gently. “This is all for you, remember that.”

“I-I will, Mommy,” Chaewon whispered, her voice trembling. “I’ll remember…”

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Eunbi’s harsh ministrations began to slow. She took a step back, her eyes still fixed on Chaewon’s trembling form. The room was thick with the aftermath of the intense punishment, the air heavy with the scent of sweat and tears.

Eunbi untied Chaewon gently, her touch surprisingly tender now. “You did well, Chaewon,” she said softly, pulling her into a comforting embrace. “I’m proud of you for enduring this.”

Walking up to Chaewon you embraced her after Eunbi let go. Chaewon clung to you, her body weak and trembling. Despite the pain and pleasure, a sense of relief washed over you. She had endured the punishment, and in some twisted way, it made you want to fuck her and completely break her mind such that it only ever listens to you.

“Thank you, Daddy,” Chaewon whispered, her voice barely audible. “I’ll do better… I promise…”

You smiled a genuine warmth in her eyes now. “I know you will, my dear,” you said, holding Chaewon close. “I believe in you.”

Chaewon was exhausted and desperately needed rest, so you took her to your room and gently helped her into a warm bath. The soothing water and your tender care slowly washed away the physical and emotional strain from the punishment. Chaewon’s eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into your touch, feeling safe and cherished despite the earlier ordeal.

After the bath, you dried Chaewon off with a soft towel and dressed her in comfortable pajamas. You guided her to the bed, pulling the covers over her and ensuring she was snug and warm. As you turned to leave, intending to give Chaewon the rest she desperately needed, you felt a gentle tug on your hand.

“Daddy, please stay,” Chaewon whispered, her voice barely audible and filled with a childlike plea. Her eyes, though heavy with sleep, held a deep yearning for comfort and security.

Your heart melted at the sight of Chaewon's vulnerability. You couldn't bring yourself to leave. With a soft smile, you sat beside her on the bed, your fingers gently running through her silky hair. The rhythmic motion seemed to soothe you both, the tension of the night slowly dissolving into a peaceful calm.

Chaewon’s breathing steadied as she fell into a deep sleep, her face relaxing into an expression of tranquility. You continued to stroke her hair, watching over her with a protective gaze. The room was silent except for the soft sounds of your breathing, a stark contrast to the chaos and intensity of earlier.

You felt your own eyelids grow heavy as you continued to watch over Chaewon. The exhaustion of the night caught up with you, and soon you found yourself lying down beside her, your hand still gently tangled in her hair.

******

Since Lesserafim was taking a break now, the girls had a lot of free time, and you also decided to work from home. After Chaewon’s punishment and her subsequent heat, she had become excessively clingy to you. Not that you minded; she was so cute and always made it fun to be around her. Her presence, even in her clinginess, brought a lightness to your days that you cherished.

As you sat at your desk, trying to focus on the work in front of you, Chaewon was perched comfortably on your lap, her attention divided between her phone and you. Every so often, she would look up at you with a soft smile, her eyes sparkling with affection. Her closeness was a constant, warm reminder of the bond you shared.

What you failed to notice was the jealous gaze cast toward you from across the room. Sakura, who had been watching the two of you for a while, couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy. She remembered her own time in your arms, the comfort and attention you had lavished on her, and now she felt a sense of longing for that same affection.

Sakura’s eyes narrowed slightly as she observed Chaewon snuggling closer to you, a soft giggle escaping her lips as she showed you something on her phone. The sight stirred something deep within Sakura, a mix of jealousy and a yearning for the same intimacy.

You were blissfully unaware of Sakura’s growing discontent. You chuckled at something Chaewon had shown you, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady her as she shifted on your lap. Chaewon’s presence was calming, and her happiness was contagious.

Sakura's plan to forego her suppressants had seemed foolproof in her mind. She was certain that without the medication dulling her heat, your attention would naturally gravitate towards her. But as the day of her heat arrived, her anticipation turned to disappointment when she realized you were absent.

With each passing hour, Sakura's discomfort grew more pronounced. The familiar ache of her heat intensified, and she found herself writhing in pain, desperate for relief. She needed you desperately, but you were nowhere to be found.

In a haze of agony, Sakura stumbled to your room, her mind clouded with the need for your presence. She rummaged through your belongings, searching desperately for anything that might bring her solace. Finally, she found a circle of your used clothes and clutched the one you had worn most recently to her nose, seeking the faint trace of your scent.

As the familiar fragrance enveloped her, Sakura felt a momentary reprieve from the torment of her heat. Your scent, though distant, offered a semblance of comfort, easing the ache in her body and calming her racing heart.

In the solitude of your room, surrounded by reminders of your presence, Sakura found a fleeting sense of peace amidst the turmoil of her heat. But deep down, she longed for more than just the memory of you. She yearned for your touch, your warmth, and your soothing words to chase away the agony and loneliness that threatened to consume her.

However, that peace didn't last long as Sakura's heat intensified, and her body began to release a potent scent designed to attract any alpha nearby to satisfy her. The air grew thick with her pheromones, her scent a desperate call for relief.

Luckily for Sakura, there was an alpha currently in the manor, but this alpha happened to be none other than Kazuha. Kazuha was known for her calm and gentle demeanor, often mistaken for a beta due to her docility and non-aggressive nature. Despite her alpha status, she rarely displayed the dominant traits typically associated with it.

As Kazuha moved through the halls, the scent hit her with unexpected intensity. Her senses sharpened, and her normally placid nature was momentarily overridden by the primal urge to respond to the call of a distressed omega. Following the scent, she found herself drawn to your room, where Sakura lay surrounded by your clothes, her body wracked with the torment of her heat.

Kazuha entered the room cautiously, her eyes widening at the sight of Sakura. "Unnie," she called softly, her voice tinged with concern. "Are you okay?"

Sakura's head snapped up, her eyes glazed with desperation. "K-Kazuha," she whimpered, her voice breaking. "Please... I need help."

Kazuha hesitated for a moment, her usual calm exterior faltering as the scent overwhelmed her senses. She stepped closer, her instincts urging her to provide the relief Sakura so desperately needed.

"Unnie, I... I'm here to help," Kazuha said gently, kneeling beside her. "What do you need?"

Sakura's hands clutched at Kazuha's shirt, pulling her closer. "I need you," she pleaded, her voice barely more than a breathless whisper. "Please, Kazuha, I can't take it anymore."

Kazuha's heart pounded in her chest, the gravity of the situation sinking in. She knew she had to act, to provide the comfort and relief Sakura was so desperately seeking. Leaning in, she brushed a strand of hair away from Sakura's face, her touch tender and reassuring.

"Okay, Sakura," Kazuha whispered, her voice filled with determination. "I'll take care of you."

With gentle care, Kazuha wrapped her arms around Sakura, pulling her close. Her presence, though different from yours, offered a new kind of solace. The room filled with a mix of their scents, Kazuha's alpha pheromones blending with Sakura's desperate omega call, but this wasn’t enough for Sakura, she needed something more intense.

“Kazuha, it’s so hot down there please do something!” Sakura pleaded. Kazuha being the innocent alpha that she is didn’t know what to do but the overpowering pheromones were clouding Kazuha’s ability to think. 

“O-okay, unnie,” Kazuha said before gently pulling down Sakura's shorts to reveal a pair of completely drenched panties. It was a sight that Kazuha was shocked by but also desperately wanted a taste. 

“Fast, please it hurts,” Sakura whined, not wasting any more time, Kazuha dived into the the awaiting cave. The touch of her tongue caused a massive relief for Sakura. 

“Nghh, it feels so good,” Sakura moaned, as her fingers got tangled in Kazuha’s hair. The continuous ministrations of Kazuha were increasing the pleasure Sakura felt. 

Though it was the first time that Kazuha had ever been intimate with a woman, she was doing an amazing job, most probably because of strong Pheremones that were controlling her. Sakura tastes so sweet almost like a drug, addictive and Kazuha was enjoying every single second of this drug. 

“Keep going baby, you are eating Unnie so well.” Sakura moaned as her back arched signalling the impending orgasm. “F-fuckkkkk!” Sakura screamed as she came all over Kazuha’s face, being the good girl that she is Kazuha licked up every single drop. 

This was not enough to satisfy Sakura and to make the situation more interesting Kazuha had a hard-on. “Baby, please take off those pants and come fuck unnie,” Sakura said while staring into Kazuha’s eyes. 

Kazuha however was nervous and scared. It was not only because it was her first time but also because Kazuha was very insecure about her cock and didn’t want anyone to see it. 

Fear and anxiety were written all over Kazuha's face. She didn't want to get teased or judged for stepping into a role she rarely embraced, so she instinctively began to move away from Sakura. However, Sakura's desperation overshadowed any sense of decorum or restraint. Her mind was clouded with the overwhelming need to satiate the immense heat building up in her body.

As Kazuha tried to back away, her heart pounding in her chest, she found herself pressed against the wall, trapped by the intensity of the situation. Sakura, her eyes filled with a mix of pain and yearning, crawled toward Kazuha with a single-minded determination.

"K-Kazuha," Sakura's voice trembled, thick with need. "Please... I can't take it anymore."

Kazuha's breath hitched as Sakura closed the distance between them. Despite her fears, she couldn't ignore the primal pull of Sakura's distress. She hesitated, her body tense, but the sight of Sakura's pleading eyes and the raw desperation in her voice stirred something deep within her.

"Unnie, I..." Kazuha stammered, her voice faltering. She wanted to help, but the fear of what this moment represented held her back.

Sakura reached out, her fingers trembling as she touched Kazuha's arm. "Please, Kazuha. I need you," she whispered, her voice breaking.

“Unnie I will do anything but that, please,” Kazuha begged. But Sakura was not interested in listening. Sakura pulls down Kazuha’s pants along with her underwear to find Kazuha’s cock in all its glory.

Sakura was surprised. What she was currently faced with was different from what she was expecting. Kazuha was not packing a huge cock like she expected in fact it was probably one of the smallest that Sakura had ever seen, this also explains why Kazuha is such a docile alpha. But lucky for Kazuha, Sakura couldn’t care about the fact that her dick was only 4 inches because she desperately needed something inside of her and for now Kazuha’s cock should be enough. 

Without any words being said, Sakura pushes Kazuha onto the floor and mounts her. Shocked by the sudden action Kazuha lets out a small yelp, she still tries to get Sakura off her because she doesn’t know what to do but Sakura overpowers her and she got she wants. Sakura starts to ride Kazuha like there is no tomorrow and this makes Kazuha’s life very hard. She is holding on for dear life, trying her best not to cum inside Sakura and breed her. 

“Unnie, please get off!! I am going to cum!!” Kazuha screams, but it is to no avail as Sakura continues to bounce on Kazuha’s tiny cock. No matter how much strength Kazuha uses she is unable to push Sakura away from her before she cums. 

All of a sudden a savior appears. You manage to pull Sakura off Kazuha just before it’s too late. Sakura whines at the loss of body contact and pleasure but you hold her down and turn to Kazuha to notice that you may have just ruined her orgasm. 

Kazuha notices you staring and immediately covers herself with her hands. “Kazuha baby, you should leave before this wild one gets to you again,” Heeding your warning Kazuha grabs her clothes and runs out of the room. 

After the room is empty with just you and Sakura, you turn your attention to the girl who has begun to rub herself on your leg. But a stern look from you makes her stop all her movements. "Princess, how is it that you forgot to take your suppressants?" you question Sakura.

Too shy to tell you the actual reason, Sakura stays silent and hides herself behind your leg, her face flushing with embarrassment. You gently lift her chin, forcing her to meet your gaze. "Princess, don’t make this harder than it needs to be. I know how much pain you are going through and I will take away all that pain if you be honest with me here," you say, trying to convince her to answer.

Sakura's eyes flicker with uncertainty, her breath coming in short, quick gasps as she struggles with her confession. Finally, she mumbles, "Y-you."

"Princess, you have to be more clear," you say, with a touch of sternness in your voice to encourage her.

Sakura's face turns a deeper shade of red, and she averts her gaze, whispering, "I wanted your attention. I thought... if I didn't take my suppressants, you would spend more time with me."

Her confession hangs in the air, her vulnerability laid bare before you. Your stern expression softens as you take in her words, understanding the depth of her need for your affection.

"Oh, Sakura," you say, pulling her into a gentle embrace. "You don’t have to put yourself through such pain just to get my attention. I'm always here for you."

She clings to you, relief mingling with her lingering discomfort. "I'm sorry," she whispers, her voice muffled against your chest.

You stroke her hair soothingly. "It's okay, Princess. Let's focus on making you feel better now. But promise me, next time, you'll talk to me instead of putting yourself through this, alright?"

Sakura nods, her arms tightening around you. "I promise," she murmurs.

"Good girl," you say softly, kissing the top of her head. "Now, let's take care of you."

Sakura nods her head and hugs you tightly. You pat her head, playing with her hair but soon the wholesome moment comes to an end as Sakura starts to grind on you.

“Princess, look at me,” you say, gentleness in your voice. Sakura looks at you, her eyes filled with expectation and need. Both of you maintain eye contact for a few seconds, the air between you thick with anticipation. Slowly, you lean toward each other, and finally, your lips meet in a kiss filled with passion and care.

Sakura's lips are soft and warm against yours, and she melts into the kiss, her desperation and longing pouring into the embrace. The kiss deepens, your arms wrapping around her to pull her closer. Sakura's need to be closer to you becomes overwhelming, and she jumps onto you, wrapping her legs around your torso. You support her effortlessly, one hand on her back and the other cradling her head.

The intensity of the kiss grows as you hold her, each of you savoring the connection and the relief it brings. Sakura's fingers tangle in your hair, her body pressed tightly against yours. The heat of the moment seems to erase all the pain and anxiety she felt earlier, replaced by the comforting and exhilarating presence of you.

You move to sit on the edge of the bed, Sakura still clinging to you. The kiss breaks for a moment, both of you breathing heavily, foreheads resting against each other. "I've needed this," Sakura whispers, her voice filled with emotion. "I've needed you."

You gently stroke her hair, your eyes soft with affection. "I'm here, Princess. Always."

This time, the kiss is slower, more tender, as you take the time to explore each other's emotions through the connection. You can feel the gratitude and love radiating from Sakura, her body relaxing into yours as the last remnants of her heat begin to subside.

You hold her close, savoring the intimacy and the bond you share. The world outside seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you in a bubble of warmth and affection. The room is filled with the quiet sounds of your breathing and the soft rustle of clothing as you hold each other. 

After breaking the kiss, Sakura leans in and places soft kisses on your neck, her breath warm against your skin. Each kiss sends shivers down your spine, and you feel her growing boldness as those kisses slowly turn into gentle bites. You can sense her need to express her desire and the remnants of her heat driving her actions.

Wanting to keep your promise, you let her do whatever she wants. Your hands rest on her back, providing a comforting presence as she explores her feelings and desires through her actions.

"Sakura," you murmur, your voice soothing and filled with affection. "It's okay. I'm here for you."

Encouraged by your words, Sakura continues, her bites growing a bit more assertive, leaving small marks on your skin. Each bite is followed by a tender kiss, a mixture of passion and tenderness that reflects her complex emotions. You can feel her anxiety and need for reassurance in every touch, every kiss, and every bite.

As she nips at your neck, you hold her closer, your hands gently stroking her back to provide a sense of security. Her breaths come in short, quick gasps, her body pressed tightly against yours. You can feel her heart pounding, matching the rhythm of your own.

"Sakura," you whisper, lifting her chin so she looks into your eyes. "You don't have to hold back. Just be yourself."

Her eyes, filled with a mixture of desire and vulnerability, meet yours. She nods slightly, her lips parting as she takes a deep breath. "I need you," she confesses, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I need to feel close to you."

You smile gently, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "I'm not going anywhere," you assure her. "You can have all of me."

Sakura's eyes soften with gratitude, and she leans in to kiss you again, this time with a tenderness that speaks volumes. The bites on your neck become more deliberate, a way for her to mark her territory and express her deep-seated need for connection.

You feel the intensity of her emotions and respond with equal tenderness, holding her close and allowing her to take what she needs from you. The room is filled with the quiet sounds of your breathing, the soft rustle of clothing, and the occasional sigh of contentment as you lose yourselves in the moment.

Slowly, you begin to take off what little clothes Sakura has left, your movements careful and tender. She helps you out of yours, her fingers trembling slightly with anticipation and excitement. As each piece of clothing falls away, the intimacy between you deepens, a silent communication of trust and affection.

With a gentle nudge, you both move toward the bed. The soft sheets feel cool against your skin, a stark contrast to the heat of your body. Pulling away from the kiss, you hear a small whine escape Sakura's lips, her eyes fluttering open with a mix of longing and frustration.

But before she can voice her complaint, you place her gently on the bed, and another deep, passionate kiss quickly muffles her whines. Your lips meld together, the urgency of the moment heightening the connection between you. Sakura's hands grip your shoulders, pulling you closer as if afraid you might disappear.

You respond by deepening the kiss, pouring all your affection and reassurance into the embrace. Your hands roam her body, tracing delicate patterns along her skin, eliciting soft gasps and shivers from Sakura. She arches into your touch, her body responding instinctively to every caress.

Breaking the kiss for a moment, you look into her eyes, your voice soft and filled with love. "Princess, you're everything to me."

Sakura's eyes shine with emotion, her hands cupping your face. "Daddy you can do anything you want," she whispers, her voice trembling with sincerity. "I just need you."

You place your hard member on her entrance teasing it a little before lubing it up with all the wetness from Sakura’s drenched pussy. “Daddy please don’t tease!” Sakura whined. 

Not wanting to keep her waiting longer, you slowly insert your cock into her tight pussy. Sakura occasionally let out moans as you pushed into her. Once you bottomed out you were still letting her adjust and also enjoying how tight her pussy was. 

“Daddy you can move now,” Sakura said. The missionary position lets you control your pace well and also hit spots that have never been touched. 

“Harder, Daddy, pleasee,” Sakura begged and you obliged increasing your pace and the strength of your thrusts. 

“Nghhh you are filling me up so well, Daddy,” Sakura moaned 

“Fuck, Princess, you are doing such a good job taking my dick. Your pussy is so tight and perfect.” You compliment Sakura causing her pussy to tighten a little. 

Increasing your pace, you ask “Who does this Pussy belong to princess?” 

Sakura was in a realm of her own, her mind completely filled with pleasure and unable to comprehend anything you were saying. So you stop 

“No no no, Daddy why did you stop!!” Sakura screams.

“Answer me, princess, Who thrusts Does thrusts This thrusts Pussy thrusts Belongs to thrusts?” You ask

“You! Daddy, this pussy belongs to only you!!!” Sakura screams as your thrusts get harsher. The tightness pushes you closer to the edge. 

“Princess, Daddy is going to cum soon and you are going to lick up every single drop of it right?” You asked as you continued to fuck the living crap out of Sakura. 

“Yes, Daddy. I will make sure not to waste a single drop of it.” Sakura replied. Her movements are in complete sync with yours. Both of you were chasing the peaks of your orgasm. 

“I’m cumming princess,” you announce and try to pull out of her pussy but are unable to do so because Sakura has managed to wrap her legs around you.

“Cum for me Daddy, breed me, let me have your children, please. I need them so fucking badly!!” Sakura screamed as her legs gripped tighter around your body.

Unable to hold on much longer you end up cumming inside of Sakura. “Fuck!!” You moan as you release all your cum deep inside of Sakura’s pussy.

“What the fuck Sakura, you are going to get pregnant!” you said. 

“Yes, Daddy, maybe then you will pay more attention to me than the other girls!” Sakura replied with a smirk on her face.

Not wanting to argue further, exhaustion took over both of you, and you soon fell into a deep sleep. The warmth of the moment and the emotional intensity had drained you completely.

Hours later, you were awakened by a sudden weight being placed on your chest. Blinking the sleep from your eyes, you looked down to see none other than Wonyoung sitting on you, her expression a mixture of curiosity and annoyance.

This was probably the worst situation in which you could get caught by Wonyoung, who was extremely possessive. The fact that your neck was covered with marks and Sakura was sleeping next to you was going to be the death of you. Wonyoung's eyes darted from the marks on your neck to Sakura, her jaw tightening with barely contained anger.

“What the hell is this?” Wonyoung’s voice was sharp, her tone dripping with jealousy and hurt.

You could feel the tension rising, and you knew you had to tread carefully. “Wonyoung, it’s not what it looks like,” you began, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Really?” she said, her tone icy. “Because it looks like you and Sakura had a lot of fun without me.”

Sakura stirred next to you, her eyes fluttering open. She immediately sensed the tension in the room and sat up, her smirk from earlier fading as she took in Wonyoung’s furious expression.

“Wonyoung, it’s not like that,” Sakura said softly, trying to defuse the situation. “I just... I needed Daddy last night. It was a tough day.”

Wonyoung’s eyes narrowed, her possessive streak flaring up. “And you think you’re the only one who needs him? We all need him, Sakura. You can’t just monopolize him like this.”

You reached out to gently touch Wonyoung’s arm, hoping to calm her down. “Wonyoung, please. Let’s talk about this calmly.”

She pulled her arm away, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest. “Calmly? How am I supposed to be calm when you’re covered in her marks?”

Sakura looked genuinely remorseful, and you could see that she regretted the way things had escalated. “Wonyoung, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel left out.”

Wonyoung’s eyes softened slightly at Sakura’s apology, but she was still visibly upset. “It’s going to take a lot more than just a verbal apology from the both of you,” she said, a smirk plastered all over her face. This spelled nothing good for the future, but you had no choice but to listen because this brat doesn’t take no for an answer and is also way too cute for you to say no to.

You sighed inwardly, knowing that Wonyoung had the upper hand. “What do you want, Wonyoung?” you asked, trying to keep your tone calm and collected.

Wonyoung's smirk widened, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “Oh, I have a few ideas,” she replied, her voice sweet but with an edge of playful menace. “But first, I want both of you to admit that you were wrong and that you’ll make it up to me.”

Sakura shifted beside you, looking a bit nervous but also curious. “Alright, Wonyoung,” she said, her voice soft but sincere. “I’m sorry for making you feel left out. I promise to make it up to you.”

You nodded in agreement, meeting Wonyoung’s gaze. “I’m sorry too, Wonyoung. I didn’t mean to hurt you. We’ll both make it up to you, I promise.”

Wonyoung’s smirk turned into a genuine smile, though a hint of mischief still lingered in her eyes. “Good. Now, let’s start with something simple. I want you both to pamper me today. I get to be the center of attention, and you two will do whatever I say. Deal?”

Sakura and you exchanged a glance, both of you knowing that you had little choice in the matter. “Deal,” you said in unison.

Wonyoung clapped her hands together, her mood brightening. “Great! First, I want a nice breakfast in bed. And then, we’ll see what else I can come up with,” she said, her tone almost teasing.

You couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm, even though you knew she was taking full advantage of the situation. “Alright, breakfast in bed it is,” you said, getting up and pulling on some clothes.

Sakura followed suit, giving Wonyoung a small, playful glare. “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Wonyoung giggled, the sound light and infectious. “Maybe a little,” she admitted. “But it’s only fair, right?”

You couldn’t argue with that, and as you made your way to the kitchen to start preparing breakfast, you felt a sense of relief that the immediate tension had been diffused. Wonyoung might be a handful, but her playful nature and the bond you all shared made every challenge worth it.

As the day went on, you and Sakura did your best to pamper Wonyoung, catering to her whims and making her feel special. There were plenty of playful moments and laughter, and by the end of the day, it felt like the balance had been restored among the three of you.

Wonyoung lay on the couch, a contented smile on her face as she looked at you and Sakura. “See? This wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Not at all, I was expecting a lot more work.” You replied.

“Because the worst part is yet to come. The both of you are going spend the entire night with me.” Wonyoung said as she took off her skirt. 

To be continued… 

[666anxiety666]

✨️Sebastian Solace headcanons.✨️

Since my pressure tickle fic did amazing. I thought, why not do some Sebastian headcanons!!

♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎

LEE

💙 definitely refuses to admit he's ticklish. He'd rather be experimented on again before admitting shit.

💙 Sebastian became way more ticklish after the experiments. Only finding out once he met you.

💙 his gills and VERY sensitive. If you want an immediate reaction from him, that's your spot. he'll scream the whole site down at just one touch of them.

💙 will try his best not to give you the satisfaction of him laughing. But he won't last long. ;)

💙 his ears are a melt spot for him. He'll purr away with his head in your lap as you pet them. But if you touch them juuuust right, you'll get him giggling. Be gentle with him ☺️

💙 once he's a little more comfortable around you. He would definitely let you tickle him. He'll play ot off like he's annoyed. But the second you touch him, he's a giggling mess.

💙 Sebastian is definitely a squirmer, so watch out! You've been thrown to the floor a good few times. 😅

💙 can't take teasing well at all! Normally he's the one teasing. So for the tables to be turned, especially in such an "embarrassing" situation to him gets him all flustered.

💙 "s-shuHUHUT UHUP-!" "If you dohon't quit that-! I-IhiHIHILL-!"

💙 once he trusts you completely, he'll even come and ask for tickles. Behing down in this abandoned underwater facility isn't the very nicest. He just wants some affection and affection. 👉👈

LER

💙 ooooh boy... he's evil. That's all there is too it.

💙 because of his size, he uses that to his advantage. Picking you up with ease and holding you tightly as he tickles you senseless.

💙 those claws are deadly. Not in an actual sense. They ain't that sharp, having been dulled down over the years. Which makes extra good for tickling. 🤭

💙 watch out for that extra arm of his! Sebastian will sometimes catch you off guard with it when you seemingly forget he has it.

💙 he'll tickle you for anything. As a punishment, to cheer you up. Or just randomly.

💙 Sebastian is such a tease!! "What? Don't tell me you're *this* ticklish?~" or "Oh, come on. I'm not even touching you yet~"

💙 knows all the ticks in the book. Counting ribs, raspberries, building anticipation, etc. It's like he was born to tickle! 🫣

💙 if you feel confident enough and ask him for tickles. He'll teas you to no end. "You want me to what? Speak up, friend..~"

💙 Sebastian won't go too far. He knows your limits. If you ask him to stop, he will. If you ask to keep going, he'll definitely oblige.

💙 afterwards, he's all over you. Asking if you're okay. Cuddling you and letting you rest. Just holding you. Bros soo sweet. (Yes I said so 😌)

♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎

Yippee!! All done now! I love writing for this man! I'm definitely writing another fic on him, so stay tuned for that! Also, thank yall for all the love my last pressure fic got!! 🫶💙

[fashionteahouse]

Can I request a cauis voltori that he is mean to everyone else but he is so sweet to her smut including

yes you can 🙂‍↕️ hope you enjoy :)

don’t forget - caius x reader

Sitting high on the throne, a handsome face was scowling down at the vampire that kneeled before the coven. Red eyes pierce sharply at the vampire who broke the rules.

The vampire’s red eyes move wildly around, waiting with anticipation for the death to come.

You stood by the large locked door as Caius turns his scowl into an evil grin. Aro has his fingers folded as he tells Jane to inflict pain upon the now no good vampire. The vampire whither and scream in pain.

You hunched your shoulders at the sight, glad that you weren’t the one in their position. However, the vampire knew not to be seen, but yet, they went against the grain. Punishment was inevitable.

Aro gave Caius the honors, seeing the excitement on his face. Caius slowly rises, majestically, move towards the vampire that he views as pathetic.

You watch his pale fingers wrap around the vampire’s neck as he slowly cracks and twist the marble skin, wanting the vampire to feel all of the pain before leaving this Earth.

“Help scoop the pieces.” Jane says to you as the others throw the bits of the dead vampire into the large fire place.

“Jane. She’s not scooping anything.” Caius speaks on your behalf, halting you from going any further.

“So, what? She doesn’t have to help now?” Jane counters back.

“What did I say? Tell me. Would you like to be next burning in the fire?” he snarled at her but Aro showcases a kind grin as he puts his hands together, “Let’s not fight. We finally defeated the problem.”

Caius moves from his spot and makes his way over to you. He holds both sides of your neck as you gaze up into his eyes.

Yes they were ferocious and boldly red, but not an ounce of fear was pumping through your veins. You smoothly place your hands on his forearms, giving him a smile that was contagious, he slowly sports the same one.

He leans to nuzzle your nose with his cool lips and pulls back to whisper, “You always know how to make me feel better.”

“I’m tired. Will you come put me to bed?” you sweetly ask and bat your eyelashes a bit, knowing that it will sway him.

“Of course, my love.” he says to you as he plants a breathtaking kiss upon your lips and carry you out.

“I’m not that tired for you to carry me.” you tell him as he swiftly zooms to get you to the room that you both shared.

“I want to carry you.” He says to you and you rest your head against his chest as your arms wrap around him.

Pushing the door closed, he sets you down to your feet and he leans in to steal a kiss. He pulls back a bit to run his thumb across your bottom lip before pulling you back in.

Your fingers snake up the nape of his neck as his talented tongue dance with yours. Needing air, you move your mouth, sighing out of satisfaction while he kisses the side of your neck.

Nipping a bit, not breaking the skin, he pushes his body on you, walking you backwards to land your back on the bed.

He leans over as he drowns his mouth onto yours and you pull him closer.

“You have too many clothes.” you tell him in a pant and he chuckles deeply before articles of clothing fall to the ground beside both of you.

The coolness of his naked body upon your bare overheated skin feels delicious.

You groaned as his tongue circles around your hardened nipples, making you arch your back towards him. Your hands hold his head as you tremble from the great sensation he’s giving you.

Your eyes are closed as you twitch with sensational tingles throughout your body. Kissing down your stomach, his cool, wet tongue eventually twirl around your second heart beat. He’s making you gasp as you prop up to watch him eat at you. He opens one hooded eye, as he glides his tongue up and leans forward to give you a kiss.

He whispers against your lips, “Why do you taste so good.”

“You’re doing this to me.” you say to him breathlessly.

He does nothing but smirk and reaches for your hand as you feel on his hardened thick flesh. “And you’re doing this to me, sweetheart.”

You stroke him towards you as he groans and closes his eyes at the feeling. The groans and the noises he made, shot straight to the achy feeling that was deep in between your legs.

Your hips buck up to him as he sleeks his thick skin between your moist folds. He finally slides in and you both breathe out a low moan as he rocks into you.

Hitting all of the right spots, he made you shake and cry out your climax, but he has a firm hold on your hips and pushes into you. Overstimulated, your legs clench around him as he continues his thrusts inside of you.

Shaking, you came so hard it was as if he brought you back to life. Letting you ride out the after effects, he peppers your face with kisses.

Words of, “so pretty”, “so beautiful”, “don’t forget that I love you, my love” was flowing out of his perfect lips. He pulls you close to him, letting the relaxed state of your body take over. Your eyes flutter closed and he rubs your soft skin as you fall into slumber.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Picture an Angel

warning : obsession, using of ropes, innocent/naive reader, older man/younger woman, Frollo being Frollo

Info : Our lord and savior has a hold on me and I wanted to write more for him and his way to corrupt the innocent reader. I see you guys liked my first One-Shot with him here is more have fun reading ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His angel. She was his angel, his sweet angel in the church that was almost completely in his hands. He knew exactly that as soon as either her father died or another man came he had to strike. He had to finally have her, the golden ring on her finger that he had bought her specially would be given to her by him.

He would own her as his wife. Knew that it would only take a few more steps until they would be united under God and he had her all to himself. But until then he still had time to play his game and would do so. Because like every lord, every man with influence and power he wanted to show this.

Wanted to see and show the beauty of his love at all times. A work of art. He wanted to hold her beauty, wanted to have her hanging on his wall until he would finally have her. A picture of temptation in his bedroom and to dream about his physical desire to finally give satisfaction.

He would not entrust this work of art to any artist too much he was afraid that the one would take her away from him. Artists as beautiful as art could be were free spirits and could enchant such young, delicate beings as his angel was.

But he himself had strength he knew he would exploit their piety and naivety. Because he was the church and would thus protect them from evil. The evil that was everywhere and only his angel was the light in this damned world.

,,My angel" he murmured and his ringed fingers ran over the stained glass window in his room. A creation that spoke even more for his wealth. The light of the rising sun the red of the glass flaming sun punished him the cave called for him and would eventually fetch him.

A cave that surrounded him and the church the home of his angel. He saw the church, saw Notre Dame and knew that she was lighting the candles. How beautiful she looked as she lay down and prayed before the Blessed Virgin.

How her hands were clasped together, her head bowed, or sometimes looking up at the statue. He watched her as if she were his holy virgin the gesture went from pious in his eyes to lustful. Kneeling before him she would either way.

His horse Snowball was already saddled and made ready at his door. And with the ringing of the church bells he got on his horse and rode through the dirty streets of Paris to get closer to the church.

He rode faster and faster, the people he did not care and rushed or jumped to the side. They were unfair and were only unnecessarily in his way. The mob turned away and only moments later he had arrived at his angel.

His pretty holy angel he would wait for him in the church. Descending and straightening his clothes, he opened the heavy church door made of the old wood before the cold of the stones gave way to him.

The torches and candles were burning and yet no one seemed to be here. No one except himself and his pretty angel. Where are you, my love? he asked himself, stepping forward and after a few minutes he heard the soft singing. The bright voice of his love seemed to call him and he followed.

He followed her up to the church tower where she had her room. The big room with the view of the city she loved. The city where she stayed only with her father or a few guards, otherwise Frollo would always be at her side.

The thought that she might come to harm had made the judge a little crazy. But the possibility that he would lock her up in such a way that the people would hate him even more did not occur to him. He listened to the singing for a few more minutes before knocking.

,,Who is it?" she asked and he thought he heard her startled gasp. You will sing for me, my heart, went through his mind before he announced himself and entered her room. The light of the sun shining on her through the window, the colored glass showing an angel with a white rose made her look even more beautiful.

The light dress she wore was pretty and yet chaste it was perfectly fitted to her. But he could see exactly her ankles, her tender hands and wrists and her neck and guess what her body looked like underneath.

Her beauty would still belong to him. ,,My Lord, you have come for the picture," she said, and he heard her uncertainty, knowing that her father knew nothing about it. She had told Frollo that day that the Dean of Paris would visit the orphanages in the city.

The elder nodded, looked in the corner of her room and saw under the large white cloth the canvas and the easel, the colors her father had given her for her twentieth birthday. A day on which Frollo had also given her something.

A golden ring with an amethyst inserted, he had put it on her finger. A look at her hands told him that she still wore it. She belonged to him, respected and only because she did not know the world as he knew it. ,,Am I really suitable for this...there are more beautiful women" she murmured and looked at her hands on which the ring was.

He clicked his tongue and shook his head, seeing her looking up at him as his hand came down on hers. ,,Not my flower," he started and ran his fingers over her cheek, turning her head towards the small mirror which was another gift from him to her. He saw her looking at herself and saw the small discoloration of her cheeks.

,,You are the image of the Virgin Mary, you are true piety and beauty," he finished telling her before detaching himself from her and instructing her to sit on her chair while he set up the easel and placed the blank canvas on it. ,,I'll adjust it a little for the perfect picture," he said after setting up the oil paints knowing he was the only one who could paint her perfectly. It was his.

Separating himself from the painting, he went over to her and took a rope from his coat pocket. ,,It is the ribbons of faith that have made Mary consort with the angel...as you blossom here, you too will live up to the angel, won't you?" he asked and the rope slowly tightened around her wrists holding her hands in the praying position folded on her lap.

His long thin cold fingers were adept at tying the knot, taking his time before lightly grasping her chin and making her look up.

There was uncertainty in her gaze as he knelt down and lightly lifted the fabric of her dress. ,,Frollo!" she said in surprise and wonder, and she wanted to pull away, but he just put his hand on her thigh and placed the ruffled fabric in her hand.

,,Always one step at the sin...the flesh of the body and the beauty is what the devil wants isn't it?" he asked and saw how she seemed slightly overwhelmed her voice that could sing so beautifully fell silent for a moment before she nodded and turned her gaze towards the picture. Goosebumps appeared on her body as his fingers stroked up her ankle and he withdrew.

Even her good faith only went so far as she could interpret a man's desires. ,,Is everything done so far?" she dared to ask, looking at him hopefully, still knowing that for a woman of God's house she must look lewd. But for Frollo she was everything.

She was the angel of innocence and the fire of sin on which he would and should burn himself. ,,It's ready, I'll start, don't move my dear" he demanded and she complied with his request. Frollo took the brush and began to apply the first colors to the painting.

While his fingers knew exactly what they were doing, his eyes kept going over her body and he saw her either avoiding his gaze, not holding it, or looking at the window with the angel. His eyes held on the ropes at her wrist, imagining how her body would look when he tied her to the bed.

The rope would leave marks on her hands, legs, thighs, arms and breasts. The marks he would caress to make up for it. Would she cry? The tears in her eyes dripping onto the pillow he would wipe away and kiss away, reassuring her that it was his will.

She would be good to him. She had to. As she held up her dress he saw more and more of her skin and enjoyed the warmth and softness as he stroked over it. He imagined what it would be like to have her next to him, warming his bed and keeping him warm. She would become his angel. His wife.

His until the sun threatened to set in the sky and he knew they would have to continue it another day. ,,It's time...Father will be back soon" she said and he saw how the position was starting to hurt her and she tried to move a little. But he calmly put back the colors and the canvas.

He let her take her time before returning to her, letting the fabric fall back over her ankles and twisting a strand of her hair back and forth between his fingers. ,,We'll finish it, I promise, my flower," he murmured and after a time that was almost too long he opened the rope and took it with him.

He helped her up from the chair and in an act of lust kissed her wrist prints. He heard her surprised gasp but she did not pull away. ,,For your effort, I'll bring you a rose next time, it goes with the picture," he said and saw her nod a little before she lowered her gaze again and shut up. But by the time the dean arrived, his daughter had already put on her gloves and was reading again.

But the shot and the kiss still seemed to burn like the cave fire that would await Frollo after he landed in the grave. But as this would still have time, because first the devil would go to the flower sooner or later. Sooner or later she would be his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@ria-coolgirl , @hesperia24 , @aliensthegreat , @strangecrowd133 , @her3ge , @fantadym @ranminfan , @siwucha , @cat-lover-nile

[mywingsareonwheels]

The stratification (in marketing at least) between "grimdark" crime fiction (inc books) and "cosy" crime fiction grates on me sometimes, because I like nothing that's at either extreme. I don't want relentless pain (and I find both organised crime and serial killer plots pretty boring unless they're really well-handled), and I don't want cheerfully callous "ooh, the bodies are piling up! how inconvenient! have another slice of Victoria sponge!".

I want humanity and compassion and humour and treating deaths like they do actually matter even when they're of awful people, thank-you-so-very-much. I want the satisfaction of a puzzle solved. I want an awareness by the author that yes the human fascination with murder mysteries (going right right back to Oedipus Tyrannus etc.) is kind of odd, while also not apologising for it. I want characters I warm to and care about, even if I sometimes want to throw things at them. I want a predictable structure to some extent, because it helps my autistic brain when I'm having a rough time (see also romances!). If at all possible I like at least some awareness that there is structural oppression in the world and that capital punishment is Not Great even if by the very nature of the genre (especially in police procedurals) I never expect murder mysteries to have the same politics or morality as me[1].

Some of the murder mysteries/crime fiction I do really love: the Cadfael books, Endeavour, the Lord Peter Wimsey books, the Ruth Galloway mysteries, the Discworld Watch books, the Ian Rutledge mysteries, and every time KJ Charles or T Kingfisher get a bit murder mystery on us. And so on and so forth. There are a good number! And a fair variety in tone in all of these they just... still all operate in that blessed middle space between grimdark and cosy, and involve Caring About People, and I just wish there were even more. <3

(Do recommend your own favourites if you wish!) [1] In real life, I am very much of the opinion that ACAB, that prison is a horror, that capital punishment is one of the greatest evils there is, and that retributive justice in general is wrong and unhelpful; those views affect which murder mysteries I like and how I read/watch/listen to them to some extent but, well, fiction is not reality. And being aware of that gap helps me to keep true to my views while still enjoying stories that go very much the other way!

[killthedove-moved]

was dol a trip of getting into it for a lewd game to play on the side and then getting caught up in genuine eldritch horror of it for anyone else cause like

rant with some temple related spoilers below to be safe

christ i no joke lie awake sometimes thinking about that specific aspect of the game like. even if you could argue that the initial setup of a corrupt world and the dicothomy between lust and purity is a bit cliché it's cliché for a reason

the choice of lust as the source of depravity is also really good given how many of the other deadly sins easily fall under the umbrella of lust?? wrath can be conflated with particularly violent assault or sadism, envy needs no introduction when kylar or the other possessive lis exist, gluttony can easily be paired with the whole thing of needing to become one to the point of cannibalising another or craving their blood, greed is a monster already sweeping the town with exploitation being rampant and hell even sloth and just enjoying life with indulgences works out and don't get me started on pride and its satisfaction through degrading others or having your ego fed by being carnally desired

its the perfect gate for actual horrors brought about by a "sinful evil" and the fact that the alternative is not actual abstinence but attempts to desexualize sex to the point of ridding it of all it represents and what makes it human is Wild like. do you guys ever think about how the temple rapidly tries to brainwash people into thinking that everything from purging over contrition to the wall is normal? that it's not really carnal in nature at all, but just a necessity? like how incredibly fucked up is it to think of clergymen and women among their ranks who are punished for breaking their vows through something the temple rationalizes as better than what the very forces they're fighting against would see all people reduced to, just a horrid blur of using others and being used?

that's not even touching the idea of a town being slowly corrupted as the rich elite indulge in what will surely end them all for what? some carnal enjoyment? the elks feel above it all, watching the foxes be torn apart at their parties. they view it as little more than amusement for a gathering, how many do you think even understand what the ritual represents?

i am biting the bars of my cage im normal about this eroge and its themes i promise i prommy come into my enclosure i'm sooo normal

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Sending you this because your takes on cucuhalo are interesting/pos:

The scene where cucurucho hysterically laughs as sipi tries to break bad's armour is meant to be bunny but also.....Q!Bbh first instict when Sipi was reporting him was to call cucurucho. He's definitely attached to him.

But when fighting sipi while bad desperately screeched for cucurucho, whom was laughing his ass off... I just wonder what you felt about that

(I'm all for the Bad needs attatchements and Cucurucho needs control theory)

NO NO NO OK BECAUSE I WAS SO ILL ABOUT THAT I WAS SOOOOOOO

OKAY LISTEN TO ME

OKAHY i need to stop screaming ok listen i think that that was such a MOMENT

Cucurucho has obviously been SOOO jealous today and yesterday over bad hanging out with ollie, i have a feeling that thats why he let sipi do that and was gleefully laughing while it happened (I think he let it happen for a MULTITUDE of reasons, one being to let out that jealousy and once again hear bad screaming his name(hehe)(suggestive but also it reestablishes bad's dependence to cucurucho), another to cover his ass since ollie immediately clocked cucuruchos attachment when she heard theyre roommates, and another because hes an evil little shit who thinks thats funny. Lowkey also think he was into watching bad run around terrified but thats a different thing to talk about......). It was such an INTERESTING moment to me hehehe i had so many thoughts about it, at some point i put myself in cucuruchos shoes (and my shipper shoes) and felt immense satisfaction hearing bad call for cucurucho, calling for his protection, like that was THE reaction cucurucho was looking for and hearing it was just so perf

I also found it super interesting that, despite having two witnesses who would point out bad's lie, bad felt comfortable enough to lie to cucuruchos FACE about what happened!!!! Most islanders are NOT about that life but bads one of few who know cucurucho favors him in some way and thinks/knows he can use it to his advantage!!!! like ollie and Sipi were RIGHT THERE and both called out his lie but bad had absolutely no problem confidently turning around and crying to cucurucho about how sipi had been mean to him and how cucurucho needs to punish them!!!!! I was expecting him to tell cucurucho sipi was being a jerk or biased or something but like THAT??? CRAZY!!!! I think it woulda worked too if cucurucho hasnt been on his absolute JEALOUSY streak!!!

I found afterwards very telling too!!! Cucurucho obviously got the reaction he wanted from bad in that chase, bad was screaming for him, he wanted cucuruchos safety, cucuruchos protection, cucuruchos validation in his accusations and that goddamn bear obviously wanted that because you can see how protective and less jealous he was afterwards!!!

Like first off, bro basically kissed bad goodbye when he was walking out of that office lets get that one straight.....

But second off when bad went afk on that carousel????? PERF!!! you could tell he was trying to make himself sit there and watch bad get bit (trying to keep himself mad, iykyk) but eventually he caved, saved bad, and EVEN GUARDED HIM!!!! He got protective and jealous when ollie sat next to bad and i think ollie knew it too!! She laughed at him all cheeky when cucurucho got jealous and asked what she was doing, and when she laughed at the question he went, and i quote "no, answer the question, what are you doing?" and then proceeded to SHOOT AT HER UNTIL SHE GOT OFF THE CAROUSEL!!!!!! AND THEN KEPT SHOOTING AT HER!!!!!! CRAZY!!! CRAZY!!!! INSANE!!!!!

ANYWAY can you tell im so normal about them

[nightswithkookmin]

Don't know what to tell ya

People like dark things for different reasons.

I personally enjoy the strapping criminals to a chair and frying their brains bit. It's satisfying to watch and and my level of satisfaction is directly proportional to how heinous the crime was.

Sometimes I find myself yearning for much more gruesome punishment like castration and frying their balls in acid before forcing it down their throats. What can I say, it's the Darth Vader in me.

Still it's satisfying to see evil people get their due. It's how you know Karma don't mess around.

Then there's the psychological aspects of things. Like why they did it. And I find myself extremely curious about intelligent and highly educated or even rich individuals who commit such murders. These people are so intelligent they write epic poems that college professors claim rivals the best poets out there.

Then there's the investigation aspects and identifying patterns and figuring out how popo got their hands on them and whether they got the right person to begin with- for 5 secs I get to play detective and who don't want that😩

I don't know why ppl are surprised when I talk about thus like I'm literally a shipper who likes to zoom shit and over analyze and connect dots- where yall think that drive comes from?😩

I love solving mysteries and puzzles 💀

It's a bit scary to think the dude next to me in class or at work could have been a serial killer and walking around with that awareness makes me feel well prepared for this world. You tend to see the world different you know?

And the fact these are people you'd barely suspect makes it all the more scary.

So no, I'm not interested in the graphics of it so much as the mental aspects and no I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Exposed my ass.

[limpfisted]

“live in the game and DIE in it.”

@fatewoven ( My Father taught me chess, and yet I know no strategy, have guided no army. I cannot undergo this trial. I am unworthy, by my own admission, to be The Heart Of The Gate. )

It’s been some time since Gortash was “invited” here.

A knee to the gut. The chainlink metal twine binding Gortash’s hands to the wall shakes. It feels like kicking a dog away that just tried to hump your leg. The warmth and softness of the underbelly. The guilt and fear that comes with kicking a sack filled with pliable, gravy jello and chicken ribs—the heaviness of a gut on your leg, not like a wooden coffee table biting your shin back in the dead of night, but all of the unknown shock of horror of oh no, the dog is so small, and weak, and he’s real, real, real, and shaking as he snakes away from my boot. Before he even does it, Wyll imagine a yelping whine that may never come, and would offer him no satisfaction.

And yet Wyll doesn’t back down. He swallows the guilt like the poison in Gortash’s words. A hand on his throat, the swell of his Adam’s apple trapped beneath the pale of his thumb. Wyll never did much care for proper breathplay. And yet, this is such a practiced gesture, now. It’s only the setting that’s truly different. And the company.

Two Flaming Fists watch on. Mikael and “Longshot.” Big, burly brutes, but silent types. Wyll has forgone his private guard with Gortash for months now. They’ve made fun of The Flaming Fist together. Talked, dreamed of Gortash’s new, improved, lawful Good Steel Watch. Knights of Wyll’s round table. The Blades of Baldur’s Gate while he could not be. Beautiful things, beautiful stories. Shining Knights on White Horses, crests of sails swimming in golden waves on their shield. A glorious future. Wyll had let himself believe…

He doesn’t scream. His breath is heavy as his steel-toed boot on Gortash’s toes. He brings his other hand up, and smashes Gortash’s whole head into his knee.

This is not an interrogation anymore. This is a punishment. For making Wyll believe—

“Let’s talk about the game.” Did you know in Hit New RPG, Baldur’s Gate 3, the daring, dashing, oh-so-valiant, noble and perfect Wyll Ravengard won’t fuck you until marriage?

“Your game.” Did you know he approves if you make a silly, evil little goblin kiss your feet?

He knots his hand in Gortash’s greasy hair. It’s not for lack of personal care, or at least by choice.

Gortash has been down here three days.

Did you know he approves? If you let the goblin prisoner die to a crossbow in a cage?

“You knew this would happen. Why did you—why did you lie? I knew those tieflings! You knew them! They were refugees, innocent, they were just drunk and hungry and stupid and—“

He shakes him by his head like a limp ragdoll. “I’ve been fixing your mess for three days! Answer me!” Help me, help me, I don’t know how to move the pieces, I always forget what the pieces do, how does the knight move, how do I get the little white pony to the other side of the board, I only know how to use the pawns, the pawns, you’re taking all my pawns, no fair, no fair, let’s go spar again, that’s much more fun—

“I don’t want you here, Enver. You’re supposed to be, my….” He trails off. But no. He wasn’t. Whatever Wyll was about to say, he really, really wasn’t.

[namesx]

In defense of teenage angst

Many ppl might say that teenagers are "moody" or that they are unpredictable, unreliable, difficult [sources?]. How their "angels" will turn into problematic drug using teens. This is a shit and this line of thought completely misses the point.

i remember my own father laughing at me when I came back from my first job, because I was exhausted.

No one acknowledges this, but "adults" claim that their teenage years were of little importance, whereas teenagers may feel the exact opposite. Adults will, in attempt to make teenagers feel better, say "it doesn't matter, when you're an adult you'll understand" or a romantic variation of "what you feel isn't love". This condescending garbage of a sentiment makes the situation even worse, because it says "what you care about doesn't matter" or "what you feel isn't true". I don't understand how such a large portion of the population can forget this, when they had to have felt it too. Furthermore after a person hits their 20s, they are steamrolled by society's problems and responsibilities and can no longer deal with their emotions responsibly. I believe that "teenage angst" wouldn't never go away naturally, in today's society anyway, we are only mentally steamrolled by bills, jobs, economy and politics that we no longer care. The issue is never resolved, it's repressed.

There is no such thing as teenage angst. There is the degrading extremely sudden realization that world is shit, nobody cares, and suddenly one has to decide about one's entire future. Which happens roughly 5 minutes after growing up on cartoons where the good guy wins. And nobody acknowledges this, people SAY "you have to chose your future carefully" but no adult truly acknowledges it, nobody helps them with choice, nobody has recommendations. And even if there are recommendations, they may be bought, not apply to everyone, or just not true anymore.

People may experience extremely harsh change in responsibilities between the ages 12-15. Whereas before 12, one watches cartoons where good always wins, where the evil is punished (or whatever, the point is, there is satisfaction), one's responsibilities are study for biology test and do math homework. After that age, suddenly they have to decide on their whole future, (college admissions), and the injustices of the world begin to be too large to ignore. In society, the bad guy doesn't want to take over the world, in society, the bad guy chops down a forest and sells it to IKEA, so he has enough money just to have more money.

Advice for parents:

React naturally to your child's behavior. If you pretend that everything is okay when it is obviously not, it only confuses everyone involved

Treat the next generation like equals, don't condescend, treat their wishes as you'd want your wishes treated

Don't pretend the society, be it in general, or your own, is "okay". It is impossible to overlook homelessness, the hate between politicians or parties, wars, exploitation. While some people may be able to overlook them, it takes time to get used to it.

[midwinterrmemento]

(**Major BSD manga spoilers below!**)

Okay but like… now I’m really curious what’s going on in Teruko’s mind, and what she’s going to do next.

Let’s talk about her a little bit. 👀

Since the Hunting Dogs were first introduced in the story, I would say she’s been the hardest for me to figure out—but even though she came right out and said in this chapter that she knows the truth about Fukuchi and still sides with him, that only raises more questions for me.

Of course, Teruko has always been obvious about her affection for Fukuchi, but ngl sometimes she was so obvious about it that it made me doubt her sincerity a little bit? Take this panel from Chapter 60, for instance:

I don’t know if it’s just me, but honestly, this panel has always felt a little odd to me? Especially the look on her face on the top left? Jouno doesn’t seem to think she’s lying, or at least he didn’t say so, but if that really is the case, then where exactly does Teruko’s intense devotion to Fukuchi come from?

If she knew that he was the mastermind all along, then what was she thinking when she heard that her comrades in the Hunting Dogs were kinda going off the grid one by one? Would it really make no difference to her if she knew what Fukuchi did to Jouno and Tachihara? Especially Tachi, seeing as they seem to have a particular bond, which we saw from their teamwork during the Sky Casino arc. What must’ve gone through her mind when she watched the video Tachihara made, defending the Agency?

Because obviously, she does care. And I can’t be convinced otherwise.

Think about the shadow that falls over her eyes when she’s done watching Tachihara’s video.

And then, not long after, how dull her eyes look when she reports to Fukuchi that she’s lost contact with Tecchou.

As far as I can remember, this is the first time we’ve seen that kind of look on her face? Like… to me, she seems kind of jaded, almost resigned. And that leads me to wonder.

We still don’t know much about Teruko’s past or her motivations, but she clearly takes her role as a Hunting Dog very seriously. Does she show… sadistic tendencies? Sure. But, kind of like Jouno, she seems to find some satisfaction in protecting the innocent—and punishing the villains in order to do so. Just look at her conviction here:

The Teruko we’ve seen in the last few chapters has been very different than the Teruko we see here (at least in my opinion). Part of me wonders whether something happened between then and now—like, if she actually didn’t always know that Fukuchi was the mastermind, but somehow found out later on? What if he approached her at some point and invited her to join the Decay of Angels, like he did with Jouno?

In any case, I really wasn’t expecting things to take this kind of turn with her, and right now I can only think of a few possible explanations.

If she really is loyal to Fukuchi, as she claims…

It’s because of her genuine respect for him (which seems more and more unlikely to me with time idk), or at the very least, because she believes that his plans really will stop the world from becoming the “garbage” that she describes up there in Chapter 76.

It’s because she fears his power, or maybe something has prompted her to come to the conclusion that trying to defeat him—or evil in general—is pointless. Imo, the way she got so upset with Atsushi in this most recent chapter for saying that there was still enough time to stop him kinda supports this.

But I also don’t want to rule out the possibility that she’s lying, and that she really isn’t as devoted to Fukuchi as she has seemed all along. After all, she’s already proven that she’s capable of surprises. If things continue to get worse, and if her teammates continue to get hurt (or… y’know), I wonder if that would be enough to push her to action.

I think the key factor here is how much she knows. Clearly, she understands that something bad has happened to Tachihara and the others, but does she know the extent of it? Would it change her mind if she were to encounter one of them in vampire form, and witness exactly what Fukuchi did to them? Because we all know whose side Tecchou would end up on if he knew the whole truth.

So, then there’s secret option #3, and the one I’m hoping for the most: all of this, such as her open adoration for Fukuchi since her very first introduction, has all been an attempt for her to gain his trust. Because it really doesn’t seem to me that Fukuchi would be expecting her to turn on him at this point, it would be a hell of a twist if she was the one to take him down now.

All in all, Teruko is such an interesting and under-analyzed character, and this chapter has me questioning everything I thought I knew about her. I don’t know about anyone else, but when the BSD manga resumes in the fall, I’m hoping that we’ll finally get a better understanding of who she really is. As it stands right now, she’s in a very unique position, since she’s basically the last Hunting Dog standing, and I’m really excited to see what she’s going to do, knowing that.

[yunhohours]

okay if you’re comfortable could you write (dom) taehyun x (fem or gender neutral if you want) reader with the prompts (100) “if you keep acting like a brat I’ll take you over my knee right here, I don’t care how many people are watching” and (332) “Such a needy little thing aren’t you”. could you write that reader is being a brat (maybe teasing.. and being needy) but the other members (you can choose which members) are around so taehyun punishes her in front of them. could you maybe add some impact play (spanking and/or slapping), begging and hair pulling. i know this is super specific so feel free to change it up a bit to your liking and its okay if you don’t want to write it if you aren’t comfortable with this scenario <33

this one got out of hand lmaooo and by that i mean almost 1.4k words out of hand when it was meant to be about half that long

anyways thanks for this request bestie it definitely wasn't evil of you at all

It was meant to be a chill night. Yeonjun and Kai were out having dinner at the new place they wanted to try and you were watching a movie with Beomgyu, Soobin, and, of course, your boyfriend, Taehyun. The problem is you were incredibly horny. You were pretty sure it had something (a lot) to do with joining Taehyun at the gym earlier where you just unabashedly drooled while his muscles flexed again and again, seemingly for your own satisfaction. Taehyun was none the wiser to your unwavering stare, too focused on his form and pushing himself one step further than the last workout.

You were cuddled into Taehyun’s side on the couch as the movie played with Beomgyu and Soobin settled on the loveseat. The couch and the loveseat created a perfect 90 degree angle. If pressed, you would not be able to say what the movie you were “watching” was about. You had not been able to focus your attention on it despite your best efforts. Your eyes roamed to the loveseat to find the other two men’s eyes glued to the tv. Maybe the movie was actually interesting, but never mind that. You took their focus on the screen as your green light.

You nuzzled your face into the crook of Taehyun’s neck and pressed soft kisses into his warm skin. You felt him tense just for a moment but he didn’t react otherwise. No words, no movement. He didn’t even look at you. You whimpered softly against his skin and gently grazed it with your teeth, begging for a response without words. You looked up at him as your lips pressed harsher kisses up his neck and all you could see was the way his jaw clenched. “Tae,” you whined almost inaudibly when your lips met his ear.

Finally, he reacted. He turned toward you and gripped your chin in his hand, forcing you to look directly into his eyes as he spoke. “If you keep acting like a brat, I’ll take you over my knee right here. I don’t care how many people are watching.” His voice was low but stern and his eyes were dark, serious. You gulped and nibbled your lip, seriously considering pressing your luck. Before you could decide, he dropped his hand from your chin and turned back to the tv as if nothing had happened at all. You pouted, poking your bottom lip out for no one but yourself. You looked over to the loveseat to try and see if the other guys had seen or heard anything that just happened, but other than changing the positions they had been sitting in, they were still focused on the screen. You sighed in defeat and rested your head on Taehyun’s shoulder, willing to take whatever closeness you could get.

That is, until your one-track mind came up with another idea. You wrapped your arms around Taehyun’s waist and pretended to just snuggle into him more, nuzzling your face into him as your leg carefully swung over one of his. You cooed, still playing innocent as you squeezed him in your hold. You waited. You couldn’t make your next move too quickly or he would know something was up.

After a few torturous minutes passed without any suspicion from Taehyun, you began to roll your hips. You moved them slowly, too slowly, but you had to be careful. You didn’t move them far either, settling for the smallest piece of his thigh to grind your core against. You were suddenly grateful that Taehyun thought you were cutest in skirts. The only thing between you and Taehyun’s strong thigh was a pretty, thin pair of panties you had worn in the hopes of showing them to him after the movie.

Moans were not an option. Neither were whimpers, whines, or groans. You couldn’t alert Taehyun. You struggled to keep your breath under control, your eyes fluttering shut as the wet patch on your panties grew by the second. You were so lost in getting yourself off that you didn’t notice Taehyun glaring at you, seething. “That’s fucking it.” You didn’t register the words right away, all non-physical stimuli delayed from reaching your perception. Your eyes flew open the moment the words finally hit you, making eye contact with Beomgyu and Soobin who looked like deer in headlights, but your body was already in motion.

Taehyun had you over his lap. Not in it, like you had been secretly hoping for, but laid across it. You gasped and stifled a moan as you felt his fingers tracing your drenched panties, your ache for his touch finally being soothed. “Such a needy little thing aren’t you,” he gritted through his teeth. You clenched around nothing at the tone of his voice. Suddenly remembering your situation, you glanced over to Soobin and Beomgyu who were watching the two of you with wide eyes and open mouths. Soobin had a pillow in his lap that wasn’t there moments before. Beomgyu’s arms were crossed over his chest as if he was fully invested in this new movie.

“Taeeee,” you whined, wiggling your hips over his lap, desperate for something, anything. Your cheeks were flushed, feeling so shy knowing other people were observing this usually private moment, but it was already too late anyway, wasn’t it? “No,” he said firmly, a harsh spank following his words. You moaned, your hands gripping the couch cushions as you could feel the red mark of his palm forming on your ass cheek. “You don’t get to make the rules here. You know that.” Your breath was uneasy as you tried to recover from the impact and take in the situation at the same time. “Isn’t that right, y/n?” You nodded furiously, wanting desperately to please Taehyun so he would finally touch you. Your body lurched forward as Taehyun’s hand made contact with your ass again--the same spot but much harder this time. He hated it when you didn’t use your words. You cried out and searched for Beomgyu and Soobin again. This was going further than you had initially thought Taehyun would let it.

Taehyun noticed you looking to the other men and scoffed, peeling your soaked panties down to your knees. “You want them to see what a mess you are, don’t you?” He sounded irritated but you could feel his cock stiff beneath you. Beomgyu’s eyes were moving back and forth between your face, flushed and fucked out despite not being fucked, and your now-uncovered heat, glistening under the low light of the room. Soobin was still frozen in shock but one of his hands had disappeared under the pillow, undoubtedly palming himself through his pants.

You moaned as your head was suddenly being pulled up from the cushions, Taehyun’s hand fisted tightly into your hair. He pulled until your ear was against his lips. “I asked you a question.” He held you there, staring at you intensely, while he waited for the answer he was owed. His hand circled the palm print on your ass cheek, threatening the punishment you knew would come if you didn’t use your words this time. “Y-yes,” you managed to choke out. That wasn’t good enough and you knew it. You braced yourself for the most brutal spank yet, but it didn’t come.

Instead, Taehyun tsked, clearly unimpressed, but pushed your head back down into the cushions. He adjusted your body so that your ass was pushed into the air, your slick pussy more visible for everyone in the room. “Please touch me, Tae,” you pleaded. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you anticipated his next move, but it wasn’t what you were hoping for. Taehyun sank back into the couch again. “Now you stay still and let us finish the movie. Act like a brat and you’ll get nothing.”

As he finished speaking, he casually returned his gaze to the tv screen. So this was your punishment. No spanking this time. Just being on display where everyone can see how needy you are with no relief. You started to whimper your protest, but you shut your mouth before a peep could come out. No way were you risking it. You knew he would keep his word and deny you what you wanted later.

The movie continued to play in the now too-silent room. There were more eyes on you than there were on the screen.

[cyberbaptism]

I'm afraid for myself mostly, which still feels selfish but it's the truth. It feels like it's only been a downward spirial since I'd turned 18. There were some bright moments, sure, but overall, the graph showing my health and happiness and overall satisfaction has been going down steadily. If my mother is actually seriously ill then that'll be the final nail in the coffin for me. I'm so young. I'm too young to be worrying about this. I think about my cousins, my mother's sisters kids, who lost their mother when the older one was 19. And my mom lost her own sister before she was even forty. And her own mother just six months before that. I don't know. I think about these things. How so grief stricken my mom is and has been for almost her entire adult life. How she doesn't talk about it. How it shows anyway. How it made her sick. How my cousins never really amounted to anything in their lives, no doubt stunted severely by the loss of their mother. How I'm afraid I'll share their fate.

The loss of my mother has been this ever present, ever looming thing in my life. She's been sick my entire life, always on a thousand different medications. Memories littered with fear of mortality. My first ever real nightmare i remember having was when i was maybe 6 or 7, I'd dreamt i was in hell. I was in hell and everything was red and burning and I was locked up in a cage, forced to watch my mom who'd been strapped to a chair get shot by an Evil Man. Only when she'd died was i allowed to leave the cage, sobbing and screaming and clutching my mother and asking the Evil Man where my dad is, only for him to say that he's gone too. Being orphaned has always been a number one fear. Maybe because I was adopted? Did being separated from my birth mother before I was even a year old and then put in an orphanage do this to me? I feel like this isn't normal. This pathological, obsessive hovering I do around my mother every time she even coughs or complains about something hurting. I'm so dependant on her it's sick. Is this my punishment? Will I lose her young too as a way for the universe to force me into this scary world, kicking and screaming? Or Is it something far less interesting and more mundane in its tragedy, which is that my mother is in poor health because it simply runs in the family and was then further made worse by poverty and bad habits like smoking due to grief? I'm inclined to believe the latter. Everything seems to be repeating. It is happening again.

I still cannot believe that this is my life and I'm actually alive right now right here and that this is all i get. This epiphany that I keep having doesn't really inspire me to do anything more than stare blankly up at the ceiling and feel the... whatever big emotion that it conjures up move through my body. Something like shock and awe and fear. But it's never hope. It's like standing in front of a tree that's older than your whole bloodline. What else can you do but just stand there and look at it? You can't seize it, can't put it in your pocket to bring it home with you... that's how I feel about my own life i suppose. I have these deterministic tendencies born out of chronic feelings of helplessness.

[flightfoot]

I'm watching the discussion you're having with the person and the anon is right. Regina had some degree of accountability in earlier seasons but by later seasons accountability was completely forgotten in favor of pitying her. This could be forgivable if her character development was built up but instead what they ended up doing was just continued to ignore her crimes.

This was actually why I stopped watching the show in S4. Every other character who had done wrong (Regina, Hook, Zelena) was allowed to continue to grow and "become better" (read: ignore all the shitty things they did after the fact) while Rumpel (read: my favorite) was continually ostracized, ignored, and outright punished for the terrible things he did and continued to do, despite the fact that they weren't really that much worse than anything the others were doing.

I did generally like Rumpelstiltskin in the two seasons I watched, I thought he was a lot more sympathetic than Regina. While he certainly did bad things, him being willing to hurt innocent people was mostly based on him being under the Dark One curse, which is not a curse he knowingly or willingly took on. Plus, he tended to have some sympathetic goals, even with the Dark One curse acting up - he was just willing to go to extreme lengths to achieve those goals. He wasn't big on hurting tons of people for his own satisfaction, and mowing down anyway in his way without a care because of it. He actually helped people, even with him being afflicted by the curse. It's one reason I thought it was BS for the narrative to try to claim that Snow was "sullied forever" for transferring the thing that was killing Rumpelstiltskin to Cora instead, because Rumpelstiltskin at least was morally ambiguous. Cora actively chose to be evil and didn't have much else going for her.