#and was told 'oh paper/notes are here somewhere. ill call you back later today or tomorrow'

[thoustve]

aaaa im getting so genuinely frustrated with my primary care doctors office

[miss-bridgerton]

for real l anthony bridgerton x you l part one

word count: 1,887 words

pairing: anthony bridgerton x you

author’s note: part 1 finally! it’s not much going on, but this is just the beginning. 

taglist: @fact-fictionx @alainabooks143 @michael-loves-chickens @misstonybridgerton

summary: Everyone knew that the Viscount was a rake. Except for, apparently, three young women who clung to his every word. Anthony Bridgerton was in fact charming. But he was absolutely terrible at dating three women at once. Some would call him a dunce for doing so. Others might call him a hero. Adelia Byron called him dead when she found out. Set out on revenge, she and the other two young ladies, Bette DuPont and Siena Rosso, decide to transform a lonely bakers girl into someone who can break the heart of the Viscount.

            PART 1: THE SOCIETY PAPER THAT CAUSED A SCENE

YOU HAD NO IDEA that a gossip column would be the cause of a brawl in your family’s tea shop and bakery: The Fancy Teapot.

Overly priced earl grey tea? Oh, absolutely.

Chairs that pinched the bottoms of debutantes and their mammas? Pinched bottoms surely caused nasty sneers a plenty.

But the latest gossip from the squares’ paper? You certainly didn’t see that coming.

It was all because of the Viscount. Lord Anthony Bridgerton was indeed charming. He had that smile that they all seemed to fawn over. His hair was swept in all the right places. And he was a British nobleman.

What more could a young lady want?

You rolled your eyes at the words that frequented that paper. What more could a young lady want? Well, for starters, you wanted freedom. You wanted to bake. You wanted to explore different cities. Eat exotic foods. Tell stories to your future nieces and nephews of your adventures. You didn’t care about marriage, no matter how many times your sister-in-law pushed it on to you. You just simply wanted to. . .experience life.

Unlike the young women who frequented The Fancy Teapot. They were all scouring for eligible unmarried men. It was what they were taught. It was all that they knew, really. 

And two debutantes who enjoyed sipping tea in The Fancy Teapot had no idea that they were both courting the Viscount. Until it came out on paper, that is.

It was a sunny spring morning and the social season had sprung in London. You loved the social season for the money it brought the tea shop, but you absolutely loathed the social season for the debutantes and their snooty behavior. They were all perfect. Beautiful gowns. Rosy pinched cheeks. The stink of wealth swarmed them like bees attracted to honey.

You had none of those things. You came from a working family. You came from two different countries. Your father had travelled to (a country of your choosing) where he met your mother and they fell in love and married within a week of him being there. Your father had convinced your mother to leave everything behind to be with him in London, but her one condition was to open a tea shop and bakery. 

He clung to his part of the condition. Soon after opening the shop, your older brother Jack was born. Five years later, you were born. For a short while, it was the four of you. Kids running through the tea shop, experimenting with teas, you found the love of baking with your mother, and your parents were still so madly in love it was almost embarrassing. Sadly, your mother became ill and passed away two years ago. 

The death was stricken. And hard on you. But it was your father that you and Jack worried after, for it was almost as if he became a different person. As if he lost a part of himself when your mother died. He tried to drink his sorrows away at the pubs, and fancied spending too much money on gambles and bets. 

That morning, he was nowhere near the tea shop, probably somewhere betting on poker chips, when you had to break apart two debutantes from nearly mauling each other.

Adelia Byron was with her friend, Cressida Cowper, at a small table near the colossal windows. She didn’t say thank you or even acknowledged your existence when you set down her steaming chamomile tea and slice of cornish hevva cake. You rolled your eyes at the way she gloated over the attention she received at the Warwick ball. Adelia was still on a thrill from two nights before, where the touch of the Viscount’s hand on her back as they danced was still on her. She dreamt of his gorgeous eyes. And when she saw the bouquets of roses addressed to her that morning, she was in total bliss.

Her friend, Cressida, was jealous. Adelia knew it. And if there was something Adelia Byron was known for, it was that she enjoyed bragging. Her father was a Baron, which made her quite eligible for marriage to a Viscount. She had elegant features: Dark red hair, stormy eyes, high cheek-bones. She had already received three proposals but Adelia knew what she wanted. Who she wanted.

Simply put, nobody else would do. She was going to marry the Viscount. And God help her and anyone who got in her way. 

On the other side of The Fancy Teapot, situated at a round table underneath an elegant painting by your brother Jack, was Elizabeth DuPont and her overbearing mother, Colette. Elizabeth, often called Bette, was the daughter of The Marquess of DuPont. So her marriage to a man of great wealth and a powerful title was extremely vital. To her mother, at least.

Bette was fond of the Viscount. He swept her away with his words, he was impressed with the way she could speak French and German, and the kiss he laid upon her gloved hand sent a thrill through her body. She couldn’t bear to tell her mother that when she went out to the balcony for a quick breath of fresh air during the Warwick Ball, she was accompanied by Lord Anthony Bridgerton.

Her mother would have been furious. She wanted Bette to charm the Prince - not the Viscount. She wanted her daughter to marry a title higher, not a title lower. 

You had just set down two tea cups of herbal tea at their table when one of the young newsie boys stopped by the Fancy Teapot to drop off the new Society Paper. 

“Hey, Sam,” you greeted the ten year old boy. He often was the one who sauntered in here to deliver the paper and he did it eagerly, knowing fully well that you were going to give him some free wrapped biscuits, like always.

“Y/N!” He greeted with a boyish grin. “What’s on the menu today? I hope it's something drowned in sugar!” He said excitedly.

You laughed and grabbed the box of warm treacle tarts from under the front counter. “It’s not drowned in sugar, but I think you’ll still enjoy them,” you told him.

He grinned widely. “You’re a real magician, Miss Y/L/N!”

You smiled warmly as the little boy went off and you were so busy handing over his desserts that you didn’t even notice, Dorothea, your sister-in-law, completely captivated by the latest Lady Whistledown’s writings.

“Bloody Hell,” she muttered, leaning her back against the counter and reading the paper. A mama and her daughter were standing by the counter, awaiting some assistance and looking very peevish. You sighed at how unobservant Dorothea was.

You took care of the customers and then turned to Dorothea, who looked as if she had acquired the most scandalous news.

“Y/N! Have you read this yet? It’s so scandalous!”

“No,” you replied, though you were a bit curious. “Who is it about?”

“The Viscount.”

“Hard pass,” you replied.

Dorothea rolled her eyes. “You are impossible. It’s not just about him but about the women he’s apparently leading on. And,” she took a moment to look around the tea shop and then in a hushed tone continued, “two of them are in here. Right now. Unaware of all of it!”

Well, surely just a peak at the new Society Paper wouldn’t do any harm. You grabbed the paper and took a look:

At the Warwick ball Thursday evening, Viscount Bridgerton was seen dancing with not one eligible young lady, but two. Now, I assume you dear readers know quite the reputation of our charming Viscount, as this behavior isn’t quite unusual. If you are familiar with the season’s doings, dancing with eligible suitors is normal.

Except Lord Anthony Bridgerton was seen with Miss Bette DuPont awfully close on the brink of the balcony and also seen later that evening with a certain opera singer, Siena Rosso, nuzzling her neck in a dark corner of the opera house.

How will the ladies take this embarrassment? Well, this author predicts that Miss Bette DuPont will turn a rather shade red and Miss Adelia Byron’s eyes will flash with a colour quite similar. Miss Siena Rosso will probably be locked up in a bedroom with the Viscount to even notice.

LADY WHISTLEDOWN’S SOCIETY PAPERS,16 APRIL 1814

Oh, brother, you thought. This better not cause anything stupid in here -

“HOW DARE YOU!!!!”

You and Dorothea looked up in bewilderment at the sudden outburst. And there it was. Lady Adelia Byron, looking absolutely furious, clutching the society paper, and standing over Lady Bette DuPont who was sitting at her table, looking between a mix of surprise and confusion.

“I beg your pardon?” Bette said to her appalled. 

“You!” Adelia yelled. “You are involved with my suitor! How dare you?! You - you - harlot!”

Bette’s jaw dropped but it was her mother who spoke. “My, I never! That is quite unladylike behavior, young lady. My Elizabeth is not some harlot, clearly you cannot read because you have been thoroughly mistaken.”

Adelia rolled her stormy eyes and handed over the paper. Bette hastily read it before gasping, throwing a pretty gloved hand over her mouth.

“This cannot be true. My Lord would never do such things.” Bette told her.

“My Lord?” Adelia mocked. “He’s not your anything. I am going to marry him. So this little rendezvous is finished.”

Bette raised a brow. “I don’t think so,” she simply replied and took a sip of her tea.

Adelia looked as if she was going to chuck that steaming tea pot at the young lady’s head, so you had no choice - you had to get involved.

“Ladies, please, there is no need to act in such a manner,” you told them. They both looked in your direction, looking at you as if you were just a nobody. As if they were thinking, who the hell are you and who makes you think you have any say in this?

You cleared your throat. “He’s just a man,” you tried to explain.

Adelia snorted. “Idiot,” she said under her breath.

You narrowed your eyes at her. “You know, instead of getting mad at each other for something neither of you two were unaware of, you should be mad at him. Instead you are fighting over the tosser. Now that is an idiot.”

Both girls’ jaws dropped at what you said. But both didn’t say anything in retaliation. Instead, Adelia lifted her head high and walked away with what dignity she possessed and Bette went back to her tea, ignoring her mother’s angry stares.

Dorothea was nearly bursting in astonishment and the tea shop, which went quiet during the whole argument, went back to the bustling noise it always had.

All went back to normal. Until later that evening. 

While you were cleaning up and closing down The Fancy Teapot for the day, you found a folded napkin at the same table that Adelia Byron sat with Cressida Cowper. Inside was a perfectly scrawled note addressed to you.

Not many people can inspire me, but you, Miss Bakery girl, did. Visit my estate as soon as you can manage. We have a lot to discuss.

X Miss Adelia Byron

[tare-anime]

Just a little something for AUpril “College AU” entry (AO3), inspired by this cute video clip "Mantra Cinta" by Rizky Febrian.

-------------------------------

Yor took several books and notes from her locker before closing it. She planned to make today’s assignment at the diners, where she worked part time, located two blocks away from Eden college building.

She got help from the Ostanian government for her college study to become a kindergarten teacher, but of course it only covered the bare minimum. She still needed to earn money to cover other necessities. And thus, as usual things happened each afternoon, she walked towards WISE diners.

Ms. Sylvia was a kind lady, to let her work and study at the same time, but she was also quite strict regarding time management (a.k.a tardiness equal to payroll deduction).  

When passing the courtyard, she noticed that there were preparations for annual spring festivals that will be held at the weekend. She looked around and noticed the preparation of booths, a massive bonfire where the afternoon dance will be held, and spots where the fireworks will be launched.

Yor sighed.

Deep down inside she wanted to attend such festivals, but even in her last year of study, she wouldn’t be able to. Or to be precise, didn’t want to. She has no close friends to accompany her, and well….. roaming around festivals by one lonesome self was not an interesting idea to begin with.

Thus she continued to walk towards her destination.

.

Yor glanced at the far corner table at the diner room from behind the counter. There he was again, sitting by himself, taking notes from those thick books.

She noticed that starting a month ago, the blond man always came to the diner, exactly at 5 pm, and stayed there until their closing time. Always taking notes and…..

The doorbell rang and this time the same short haired blond lady that had been coming for the past week, again sat in front of him.

She watched from her place how the lady tried to talk sweetly to the man, but he ignored her. And after some time, that lady gave up whatever plan she had, and left.

.

The next day, the usual scene happened again as Yor chopped the ribs she was told to prepare.

Only this time, he was pestered by a tall lady with long black hair and bodyguards (?). Yet, the lady was also being ignored. The bodyguards tried to threaten the blond man, but he didn’t bulge.

Yor frowned and didn’t realize that she chopped the ribs harder until the chopping board made loud noises. She cringed when she looked down and just realized that she chopped the board into two. She would have her payroll deducted because of that, but somehow she didn’t mind it as she saw the bodyguards back off, and the black haired lady then turned and all of them left the blond man alone.

.

Day after that, another blond lady came to pester the man. This woman had that pompous aura around her. She talked and gestured at the man, perhaps asking him to do something. But as always, the man just ignored her. Yor glanced at the scene before her, while mopping the kitchen.

Apparently, this lady also was rather short tempered compared with the previous ones (and also ill mannered), that suddenly she took her caffe latte and splashed the man with it, then stomping away.

Yor gasped at the scene, and she hurriedly took wet towels to help the man cleaned himself.

“Are you alright?” she asked the man while she hurriedly dabbed at his clothes, books, notes, and tables.

He scoffed, “That’s Camilla for ya. Could never take ‘no’ as an answer.”

Yor’s eyes widened, “That’s Camilla? The idol of all men on Eden campus??”

The man chuckled and gestured to the brown blotched coloring clothes he was wearing, “Honestly, don’t you think that’s a self proclaimed title??”

The woman just blushed and continued her work.

“Thank you, by the way. Sorry that you have to redo the cleaning here….”

“No problems….”

“I’m Loid Forger, pleased to meet yo-...”

“You’re THE Loid Forger?! The most exceptional medical student Eden ever has for years?!” Yor gawked for the second time that day.

“Okay, now that exaggerated rumours are not-.....”

“OH NO! These notes and books! I’ll dry them right away,” the black haired woman hurriedly took a bunch of paper towels and spread them.

“Ah and your clothes! If I washed them right away…. Wait here, I’ll grab some spare clothes….”

“Ms. Briar….. These are not-....”

But Yor already ran to the staff room, and returned with a plain T-shirt, “Here. Please change your clothes to this. This is not fancy, but it’s clean.”

“Ms. Briar, I don’t want to trouble you any further….”

“It’s no trouble. And just call me Yor,” She smiled back, before she realized something, “How do you know my name?”

The man casually pointed to her name tag neatly pinned on her diner uniform.

“Oh….” She blushed.

Of course.  

Why would she ever have that tiny hope that somebody would notice such an invisible student like her in the first place. Especially the one as famous as the man standing before her, who happened to have such a calming sky blue eyes….

Wait…. What are you thinking, Yor??  

She shook her head hard to clean weird thoughts from her head.

Loid smiled, “Actually, I’ve been trying to talk to you. But you’ve always been busy. I don’t want to bother….”

Yor blinked confusedly at the man’s statement.

He then rumagged his backpack, and retrieved a shawl, “I’ve been meaning to return this.”

The lady took the shawl and immediately recognized it. It was hers that she used as the makeshift bandage for a pink haired elementary school girl, around two months ago.

She had found the girl at the alley behind the diners one day, being bullied by several male high schoolers with dogs. The girl was furiously fighting back, saying things like how the high schoolers shouldn’t bully her friend. It could ended worse than scraped arms, had Yor didn’t intervene. Still the older woman needed some time to calm the kid, tended to her wounds, and walked her home.

“My niece has tendencies to involve herself into trouble, no matter how many times I tell her to stay away from it. So, I would like to thank you, for saving her that night.”

“It’s the right thing to do….”

His smiles just become bigger, “Ah…. so that’s why she called you that.”

Yor raised her eyebrows at the statement.

Loid elaborated, “Anya has been very persistent in her want to meet you again. She pestered me to find her ‘Beautiful angel with red eyes’.”

Yor flustered even more, “That’s not….”

“These days? It really is rare to see someone help others without ulterior motives.”

The lady opened and closed her mouth and tried to say something, but eventually, she opted to change the subject, “Uh… your clothes….?”

“Nah, don’t mind it.”

“Okay….”

“Say, are you free this weekend?”

Yor blinked at the man.

“Do you mind helping me escort a certain very energetic girl to attend her very first Eden spring festival?”

She blinked even more, “Weren’t healthy kids supposed to have loads of energy in the first place?”

“I’ll leave it to the future kindergarten teacher to always see it as a good thing,” He chuckled, “as I am very sure, I won’t have the patience to follow her around.”

Yor giggled and smiled brightly, “I will ask the owner regarding my schedule this weekend.”

And that was their first conversations of many many more later in their life, when somewhere in the middle, Yor Briar became Yor Forger.

----------------------------

Notes: 

PS: the first blond lady was supposed to be Millie, and the black haired ‘princess’ was Sharon. All three of them were trying to make Loid their date at the festival. But of course, the man already set his eyes on one woman only ^^

Of course Loid Forger is still a magnificent liar in this AU.

Anya didn’t ask him to find Yor per se. He was the one intrigued by Yor’s kindness, one of the rare people who could withstand Anya's tendency to run into trouble, and made the girl safe and happy.

And of course, Loid searched all Eden College to find this 'angel with red eyes', a nickname he made himself (based on Anya’s nickname “the kind lady with red eyes”), until he knew the angel’s name was “Yor Briar”, a student of Majoring in Early Childhood Education Program, who happened to work part time at WISE diners.

Still Loid was such a dork, that he didn't know how to start a conversation, until the incident happened.

[gabywantsafriend]

Anything For You: Ferris Bueller x Reader

(Kinda my gif??? Idk I found it online but I originally posted it on here)

Requested by anonymous:  ferris bueller realizing he loves the reader maybe?

I’m so sorry it took such a long time to post another imagine! I hope you guys enjoy it :’)

Warning: Swearing

“Adams?” “Here.”

“Adamley?” “Here!”

“Adamowski?” A rather lazy hand was raised, indicating the student’s presence. 

“Adamson?” “Here.”

“Adler?” The response was delayed by a couple of seconds. “Here.”

“Anderson?” Another delayed response. “Anderson?” “Here!” 

“Bueller?” 

Nothing. You quickly scanned the room, he wasn’t there. You hadn’t even noticed that he didn’t walk in that morning. You looked at Cameron and he shrugged. Apparently he didn’t know what Ferris was up to or where he was. “Bueller?” Crickets. “Bueller?” Dead silence. “Bueller?” The teacher’s monotonous voice began to sound like a broken record player. 

You cleared your throat as you tried impersonating the missing troublemaker, letting out a low “Here.” The class snickered, causing your teacher to silence everyone. Turning to you, he huffed. 

“L/n, I know you and Bueller are best friends but you really don’t have to cover for him in his absence. You’ll get your turn in the roll call later, don’t get too excited,” He went on with checking the attendance. You stubbornly sank into your seat, eyeing the vacant one next to you where Ferris was usually sat. What kind of trouble do you have in mind this time?

--------

Recess rolled in and you were standing at the phone booth just outside of your school. You dialed Ferris’ home number and waited for him to pick up. He was probably out on another one of his spontaneous adventures.

“Hello?” His voice was nasally,  he was always good at playing sick. 

“Oh, cut the crap. Where the hell are you, idiot? This is your tenth absence this semester, you said you didn’t wanna miss school after last time! No wonder your grades are shit! What are you up to now?” You scolded. Skipping class to hang out and be teenagers was fun the first few times. However as it became a habit of Ferris, you wished he could take school more seriously.

“Y/n, calm down. First of all, I could easily hack into the school’s computer system and change my grades,” He coughed. “Second, I’m not kidding this time. I’m actually sick.” You scoffed, muttering a small “yeah right.” 

Of course, you found it hard to believe. You’ve known Ferris Bueller since you were ten. And you knew that it took a lot for him to be ill. 

“Why would I ever lie to you? I’m serious,” he deadpanned. You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose. “Alright, I’ll bring today’s assignments for you and I’ll visit you as soon as class ends.” You could practically hear him smile through the phone as he spoke. “Thanks, Y/n. You’re the best.” You bid goodbye as he did the same, both of you putting down the phone.

Well, what do you know. For the first time in a long time, Ferris Bueller was sick.

--------

You dropped your bike right in front of the Buellers residence and sprinted to the back door. You lifted the rug and took the spare key that Katie Bueller left in case of emergencies or whenever you wanted to visit. You were always welcome. Unlocking the door, you bolted up the steps and stopped in front of the door to your best friend’s room..

“Ferris, you better not be naked. I’m coming in.” 

“Hi, Y/n.” The sight was beyond pitiful: The floor was littered with used tissues. Bottles of medicine decorated his dresser. And on the bed was a very pale boy, sniffling and shivering still even under the many layers of blankets he was covered in. Oh, Ferris.

“You look like shit.” He let out a weak chuckle. “It’s nice seeing you too,” he quipped. You rolled your eyes at his untimely use of sarcasm and pressed the back of your hand to his forehead.

“Jesus, you’re practically steaming,” You commented, getting up to fetch him an ice pack to hopefully lower his temperature. “I’m flattered, Y/n. I really am. But can you keep it in your pants until after I get well?” You were used to his foul-mouthed jokes by now. “Very funny, loser. Now put this on your forehead,” You handed him the cold material and he obeyed, hissing as it touched his skin. 

“Oh, right! I got the homework for you,” you told him, getting your bag and pulling out his books and assessment sheets and laying them on his desk. “I also wrote an extra copy of the notes you missed,” You handed him the pages that you’ve ripped from your notebook where the duplicates were. His eyes, teary from his cold, widened.

“Wha-? But I just asked for you to get today’s assignments! You didn’t have to go an extra mile with taking my notes for me!” He took the papers gratefully, flipping through them. “I’m convinced you’re my guardian angel or some shit! Thank you so much!”

“Anything for you.” 

It was true. You’d gladly and endlessly do anything for him.

You’ve liked Ferris since you first covered for him in fifth grade. 

Young Ferris thought it’d be a good idea to chuck a bouncy ball at Mrs. Ritland, the math teacher you had all despised. Believe it or not, he was an even bigger idiot back when you were ten. She was writing on the chalkboard, back turned to you; the perfect time to strike. The small toy hit the poor lady’s nape. The classroom was suddenly filled with gasps and the sound of laughter. She exclaimed in pain, rage-filled eyes darting from student to student. Before she could even question which delinquent threw the damned thing, you stood up and raised your hand. 

“I did it, Mrs. Ritland!”

Ferris was quick to defend you, chucking another bouncy ball at the woman. “If you even think of punishing her, you’ll have to go through me!”

You were both given a month’s detention and have been inseparable ever since. 

“I’m dying,” He croaked, snapping you out of your daydream.

“Oh, please. You’re not dying. You just can’t think of anything good to do!” You quoted him. “Didn’t you say that yourself?” 

He groaned, “Yes, I did say that myself. But now isn’t the time. I’m really not feeling well, Y/n.”

“Nonsense! It helped Cameron last time, he felt great afterwards.” You got off the bed, trying to pull him up with you. Instead, he snuggled deeper into the covers. “Aww, come on! Get up on your feet, mister! What do you feel like doing today? The weather’s lovely! Maybe we can go swimming? Or perhaps you’d like to go to the arcade? Ooh, street food sounds good! Just tell me where you wanna go, and I’ll take you there!” You coaxed excitedly.

“As much as I love our adventures, I was thinking maybe we could just stay here? You know, we could talk for a while and we can take a nap together just like when we were kids. And when I’m feeling better, we could watch a movie,” Ferris spoke softly, sniffling right after. You hummed, considering his offer.

“You can stay here and rest. I can get us some corn dogs from the stand nearby, I’ll be quick I promi-”

“No, no, you missed my point,” he shook his head, grinning at your stubbornness. “I meant can you stay? We don’t have to go anywhere. I enjoy your company, it’s more than enough,” He pulled the blankets to his nose, hiding his bashful smile as well as his growing blush. You were sure you would have melted then and there.

“Sure thing. Ferris.” You adored this boy.

It had been an hour since you’d agreed to stay in with Ferris and you were seated at his desk, tutoring him about trigonometric functions, a lesson he missed that day. He was reading the notes on the topic, following along with what you were saying. “Okay, I found this to be quite easy. So, we start off with the basics: sine, cosine, and tangent-”

At least, that’s what it looked like.

At first glance, it seemed as though he was actually studying. But what you didn’t know was that he had been admiring your handwriting and your little doodles on the blank spaces of the paper. 

See, Ferris liked you. He’s liked you since forever ago. He remembered the moment so vividly, as if it only happened yesterday. 

“I did it, Mrs. Ritland!”

He looked at you and thought, “Wow, that is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” Obviously, he couldn’t let a pretty girl such as you take the blame for what a stupid boy such as him had done. It just wasn’t fair to you. So he immediately admitted that it was his fault, as he should.

He felt guilty that you had to get wrapped up in this mess and had to suffer the consequences. To make up for it, every time you had detention, he would take you to secret hideouts around the school. That two months of running around school trying not to get caught marked your first of soon-to-be-many adventures. 

And now here you were, almost eight years later, helping him solve for x. His eyes softened at how into it you were while teaching him. You were even more beautiful than when you were a kid, just when his younger self thought you couldn’t get any more stunning. 

He thought about how you were kind enough to fill him in on everything he’d missed; how as soon as class was dismissed, you biked as quickly as you could just to take care of him. You could have easily ditched him to go out and get those corn dogs you’ve been craving; or you could have easily gone out for a walk since, according to you, “the weather’s lovely.” 

But you didn’t. 

You stayed. 

The mere thought of that, along with everything about you, caused his heart to pound out of his chest. 

I think I’m in love with her. Fuck that. I am in love with her.

“...And that explains why sine 90° is equivalent to 1. What the-? Ferris Bueller, are you even listening?” You waved a hand in front of his face, still not responding. He looked as if his mind was somewhere completely different. “Hello? Earth to Ferris?” He blinked a few times, shaking his head. He whispered something you didn’t quite catch. “What?” He whispered again. “I can’t hear you, pal. Speak up.” 

“I love you. There, I said it.” You were at a loss for words as your eyes met. Both of you progressively got redder by the second.

“What in the right mind made you say that?” Confusion was evident in your voice, as well as nervousness. 

“I’ve loved you for a while now and when you dropped everything to visit me today, I realized how deep I’ve fallen,” Ferris bashfully stated. He could be cheesy at times but you thought it was cute.

“Woah, you are such a fucking sap,” You both burst into laughter, him scoffing and clutching his chest in mock offense. “I love you too, you dingus.”

His heart fluttered as you said it. The mix of his sickness and your confession made him lightheaded. You plopped down on his bed, hugging him tightly. “Wait, what are you doing? You’re too close, I’m gonna get you sick!” He asked as you kissed his nose. 

You got under the covers with him, rolling your eyes, “You think I still care? I fucking love you for Christ’s sake!” You made him laugh at that. “How about that nap you suggested earlier, hmm?”

He closed his eyes, the biggest grin still plastered on his face. “She loves me,” being the last thought in his head before contently falling asleep.

[wickedbarnes]

Guns and Roses (Pt. 1) | John Wick x Reader

Part 2

PROMPT: With Helen's passing, the infamous assassin, John Wick is finding ways to recover and find meaning to his life once again. It wasn't until he comes across the new flower shop downtown that he realized he will do whatever it takes to grip onto the tiny leverage of salvation that's wearing sundresses with flowers in her hair.

THEME: Non-Con. DubCon. Obsession. Dark!John x Innocent/Naive!Reader. Abduction. Lots of smut. Don't read if any of these make you uncomfortable.

NOTE: This is the newly reconstructed plot for Beauty and The Beast that I had put on hold for many weeks. I hope this makes up for the inconvenience I've made for putting that story on hiatus. In this fic, Helen Wick was killed rather than dying of an illness that's why John is taking it way harder than in the movies.

John remembers it like yesterday. It haunts him in his dreams every night, making it harder to fall asleep everytime. The bags under his eyes were the constant reminder of his sleepless nights. He doesn't even remember the last time he even slept properly. He only slept peacefully when he was with Helen. But now that she was gone, sleep felt more like a chore that he couldn't really finish.

A sigh had left his lips as he put the empty mug in the sink, deciding to just wash it later on when he gets home. Home. Is this even home anymore? John looks around the house that he had built specifically for Helen and him and noticed how gloomy it was despite how classy and refreshing it looked. It was empty and quiet and... and it lacked the energetic aura that it once had.

John closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He needed to stop moping around and finish his tasks for today. After Helen's death, John had found himself going right back into the world he had worked hard to get out of. What was the point anyway? It was all he had left. Might as well die working surrounded by his enemies rather than die alone.

But then again, he'd die lonely either way.

John solemnly got ready. It was Helen's death anniversary, he had to look his best. He got dressed in a fine tailored suit. A brown one, for a change. The same suit that Helen loved so much. John also made sure to pack an extra black suit on his way to the Continental. He didn't want to waste the day away by feeling down all the time. He knew Helen would be disappointed in him.

When his hair was gelled to perfection, John had packed his weapons and hoisted a pistol or two and some knives in their holders. After that, he was good to go.

John brushed his fingers against Helen's picture that was hanging on the wall before he got out of his house and locked the door behind him, walking over to his beloved Mustang that also had memories of Helen in it.

Flowers. He needed to get some flowers for her. He hoped there was a near flower shop so he wouldn't have to drive so far. The nearest one was an hour away from him and the cemetery where Helen rests. He wasn't in the mood for such a long drive.

But it seemed fate had taken pity on him. Because not long after, he had spotted a small flower shop that seemed as if it was fairly new. A fair amount of customers were inside and John decided to park his car on the side of the road before he turned the engine off and walked inside, the bell ringing as he opened the door.

The people inside looked up at him curiously, some seemed to know him and gave him a nod. Some of them were too scared to even acknowledge him.

John wondered where the staff were and his question was answered when a woman walked in carrying a bouquet of carnations with a soft smile plastered on her face before she handed it to an elderly woman.

"Thank you so much, my dear. You never fail to make the best bouquets." The woman's compliments emits a laughter from the girl that sounded so melodious in John's ear.

It reminded him of how Helen once laughed. But hers sounded more carefree and gentle.

"Anything for you, Mrs. Jameson. Do have a good day." The girl smiled and with that, the woman left and it was just her, John, and one of the assassins he had recognized from the Continental.

"And what can I get for the two gentlemen?" The girl asked and John heard the man beside him speak but he found himself tuning him out as he took the moment to stare at the girl who was wearing a yellow sundress. The assassin would watch her write down on her little notepad, taking notes of what the man beside him was asking her to do and what kind of flowers he wanted.

John watched her move around, noticing the little daisies that were tied around her hair. She pretty much looks like a fairy and the fact that she was much smaller and daintier than him didn't help either.

No, he shouldn't be oggling her like this, he's married!

A widowed man, you mean.

He had to bite back the groan at the thought. But instead, he gathered his composure and smiled down at the woman when she came back carrying the bouquet her other customer had requested.

"Here we are. Fresh tulips for you, sir." She happily handed the bouquet to the man who paid her generously and put some tip in her tip jar.

"Thank you, miss, they're beautiful and uh..." The man glanced at John and smirked slightly at him, "And do have a safe day. It gets dangerous these days."

The girl seemed to miss how the man looked at John with mischievousness in his eyes and John was kind of thankful for that because he didn't find it amusing at all.

"I'll keep that in mind, sir, have a nice day." The girl smiled and averted her gaze to the notepad she had as the man patted John's back before whispering quietly near his ear.

"Shouldn't stare too much, Mr. Wick." John looked at the man on his way out, ignoring the way how he taunted him by giving a two fingered salute.

"And for you, sir, what would you like to have today?" The girl's voice brought him out of his thoughts and looked down at her as she looked up at him patiently waiting for his answer.

"Oh, uh... daisies, please." He answered, ignoring how shocked he was with his answer. Daisies weren't Helen's favorite flower. But the girl seemed to beam at his reply and John smiled softly at that. Smile. It's been a while since he smiled.

"Nice choice, I like daisies." She said and wrote it down on her notepad, "Do you want the daisies to be mixed with something else?"

John thought for a moment and saw the tiny rose tattoo that she had on her wrist.

"Roses. Red, please."

The little fairy in front of him smiled and wrote it down on paper before she looked up at him, "These are good combinations, no one has made these one up yet, I haven't made them up yet to be honest."

"Well I guess I have a new profound talent now." John replied as a giggle escaped from the girl's lips.

"That, you do! The person you're gonna give this to is gonna be happy with them, I'm sure."

"I wish they were here to appreciate them."

"Oh, are they somewhere far away?"

He sighed, "Yeah, something like that. She uh, passed away."

Murdered, he wanted to say.

The girl's eyes widened and John could tell she immediately regret asking any questions but he didn't feel the need to take any offence.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I shouldn't have asked." She said apologetically but John found himself shaking his head and smiling softly, feeling patient with the lady in front of him.

"No, it's alright. It's been three years, I've moved on."

Have you? He questioned himself.

"Still. I shouldn't have been so nosey." She bit down on her bottom lip and gestured over to the chair behind John, "Please, sit! This'll take a while I hope you're not in any hurry."

"No, please, take your time." John would say as he took the opportunity to sit down.

John didn't want to oggle at the girl while she worked but he found it hard not to. She moved with such grace and poise it was as if he was watching a gracious ballerina dancing in front of a thousand audience. The sundress she wore flowed freely with her moves and the slight breeze that came in from the windows blew her hair softly until a tiny daisy fell from her soft mane and landed onto John's knee.

The assassin carefully took it and while the girl wasn't looking, he quietly placed it in the pocket of his coat, making sure he wouldn't lose it. And it surprised him why he was keeping it safe with him in the first place.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he heard her softly calling out to him. And John immediately stood up and walked over to the counter where she happily handed the bouquet in his hands and John took in how elegant yet adorable the arrangement looked.

"I made sure to pick out the prettiest red roses I had. I believe all of them had recently bloomed." The girl smiled and placed something on the counter and John looked down to see a tiny cactus situated on a small pot, "To make up for being so nosey earlier."

Innocence. John felt an overwhelming wave of innocence from her that it almost shook him to the core. Not even Helen was this soft.

Oh, God. Why was he comparing Helen to her?

"Oh, no, I can't take that. It's alright, I didn't take any offence." John would say and gently pushed back the cactus to her but she almost looked as if she was about to pout at him but instead, pursed her lips together.

"No, please, I insist. I feel guilty for even asking you such a personal question. Just look at it as my gift to you, you wouldn't decline on a gift now, would you?" John stared down at her for a moment and watched her take his calloused hand in her softer one and made him hold the small pot.

"It's rude to refuse gifts from people, sir." She smiled and pulled back and John suddenly remembered how Helen had told her the exact same thing back then.

"Oh, come on, John!" Helen whined and pushed the velvet box back to him, "It's your birthday, you deserve this!"

"But, honey, this must've cost a lot, you shouldn't be wasting money on me." John reasoned out and pushed the box gently back to her.

"Wasting? I'm not wasting anything, Jonathan, you're being ridiculous!" Helen sighed and grabbed his hand and made him hold the box, "John, please?"

"But, I-"

"No buts."

John sighed deeply and finally gave in when he saw the twinkle of hope in his wife's eyes when she finally realizes he's taking the gift she gave.

"It's rude to refuse a gift, John. Especially a gift from your wife." John playfully rolled his eyes and grinned at her.

"Alright, alright." He chuckled, "Thank you, sweetheart. The watch looks incredible, I love it."

"Oh, I know it is. But you're welcome, baby. You know I'd give you anything and everything."

"Thank you." John replied after he zoned out for what seemed like eternity. He hoped she didn't notice him doing so, "It's adorable, I love it."

"It is, yes. I wish I could tell you some tips on how to care for one but I wouldn't wanna keep you from your errands. Besides, a simple search on the internet would help you out anyways."

John looked down at his watch and noticed he had been here for about fourty-five minutes now.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'll be fine by here." He fished out his wallet and handed some cash to the fairy girl and dropped a fair amount of tip inside the tip jar.

"Thank you, sir. And have a nice day ahead!" She smiled and John could've sworn the twinke in her eyes made her smile even more breathtaking than it already was.

"I sure will. You too, doll." And with that, he walked out of the store and silently hoped she didn't latch onto how he had called her doll.

Hopping inside his car, John carefully placed the bouquet and his new cacti on the passenger seat and began to slowly drive to the local cemetery.

"God, why the fuck would you call her doll?" He asked himself, gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter, "And you didn't even ask for her name!"

John felt frustrated. But why? Why was he? Is it because he called her doll and possibly sounded like a creep? Or is it because he forgot to ask her name?

Why would he ask for her name anyway?

John shook his head and focused on the road ahead. No, this is Helen's day. He shouldn't he dwelling on a certain woman who reminds him so much of a dainty little fairy.

When he pulled up at the cemetery, John carefully parked his car and grabbed the bouquet before he got out and walked over to where Helen's grave was.

Upon seeing her name, John felt more at ease but the sadness in his heart never seemed to go away even until now.

"Hey, sweetheart." He greeted her and lightly brushed his fingers against the tombstone.

"I got you flowers." He crouched down and gently placed the flowers on the ground before he reached up and lightly traced her name that was engraved on the stone.

Helen Wick.

A sense of guilt coursed through his veins. This was the first time he brought a different set of flowers for her. These were red roses and daisies and he only got it because of the girl from the store. Because he reminded him of her not because it was Helen's favorite.

Helen's favorite were gardenias. Why the fuck would he even get these flowers in the first place?

John's frustration was slowly growing and he was almost close to throwing and ruining the whole bouquet itself but something stopped him from doing so.

"It never gets easy, Hel. It's so hard without you." He spoke softly.

And somehow, he began to hope. That maybe it doesn't have to be so difficult.

That maybe there was something more than just Helen.

And John couldn't help but think back to the girl from the flower shop that wore a yellow sundress with daisies in her hair and a rose tattoo on her wrist.

It wouldn't be too bad if he paid her a visit next time...

Right?

TAGS: @a-really-bi-girl @fanficsrusz @fairylightsandchai @pinkzsugar @edgiestwinter @paanchu786

[toshisae]

call me baby

summary: in which chenle gives you the entire world in exchange for some love

genre: crack, fluff and another pinch of angst 

theme: ceo!chenle (sugardaddy au but without the sexy shit its just he buys you things in exchange for you loving him ok? ok) 

word count: 2.8k

author’s note: HIIIII ITS BEEN A LONG ASS TIME SINCE I WROTE SOMETHING SO HERES THIS also theres no sexy time unless the sexy time u want is going on an endless shopping spree then this fic is for u!! its just another crack idea i had lol and this is just to get rid of writers block or smth despite having this in my drafts for the longest time

–

you know how people say not to chat with random strangers from the internet?

because it’s terrifying and shit??

well you never listened 

here you are on a friday night on your phone

looking for some 40 year olds to troll

on this sugar daddy app you randomly found one day

not like you needed money or whatever

you lived with your brother jaemin who’s a doctor

so i guess you could say u’re: $$$$

and it’s just that you have nothing to do

what’t the worst that could happen right?

ding!

your phone vibrates in your hand

it looks like you’ve matched with your designated sugar daddy

“congratulations! you’ve matched with 6chittaphon9”

you looked at his profile and saw that he’s a 23 year old dancer

not up for it, you swiped left

“give me the good shit bro” - you tell the phone

you clicked the globe icon on the bottom of the screen

it switched you to a radar where it scans for possible sugardaddies who use the app

a little later your phone dings again

“congratulations! you’ve matched with zhong$”

and when you clicked on his profile,,

you let out a big big gasp 

he’s a 18 year old ..

looking for.. sugar babies??

if you were drinking something then you would’ve spat out that liquid real quick

you swiped to the right and sent this dude a message

“hi”

ok so chenle right

chenle is the youngest billionaire in the world

bye kylie jenner oof

after his father’s passing, his company, zhongs inc. was in his hands

his father’s last wish was to have chenle get married at a young age

but chenle obviously didn’t like that idea

he wanted to experience a normal teenage life where he parties, drinks, date some random girls or whatever a pesky teenager does

so he found himself downloading a sugarbaby app

also just for the lolz like c’mon this is chenle the king of clownery

the c in chenle means clownery wbk

he had the money, the looks, almost anything you need for a man

so he quickly made his account

and not a minute later he already matched with someone named ‘<y/n3’

he sees that this y/n person already sent him a message

so obviously he replies

“hello”

you: asl?

chenle: 17 / m / seoul; u?

you: same except im a female

chenle: well ain’t that obvious

on the outside you bursted out laughing

you: ok capt. crunch so would you like telling me your name or is it confidential

chenle: i mean, i guess its kinda confidential but the company wont know anyway but im zhong chenle 

you: ????? are u important or sumn

chenle couldn’t believe his eyes

chenle: um.. im ZHONG chenle

you: whats so special with your name

chenle was actually quite glad you dont know about his name or his background

chenle: nothing so wyd

it didn’t take awhile for you two to get along 

since you two had the same type of humor and age

you: why are you on this app tho if you are “young and rich”

chenle: i could ask you the same question

you: its friday my dude and im bored 

chenle: well,,,,,,,,,,, idk my friend recommended it to me

you: you’re friends with a bunch of old people?

chenle: nO I MEAN YES?? I MEAN NO 

you: ... are u fucking with me

chenle: no i’m not fucking with you, im talking to u :D 

in the end chenle asks you if it was okay that he’ll send you some money for fun

chenle: yk this app is about sugardaddies looking for sugarbabies right so lets make the most of it and give me your paypal or venmo and ill send you some cash for talking to me <3 

you: wtf chenle no its fine!!! i had lots of fun talking to you and this app is just a whole ass joke but im glad i met a new friend here but its okay dont send me some money !!!!!

chenle: nooo think of it like i’m treating you out for some dinner so please allow me 

you: still ! i wont let you,, till i get to see you so i know youre not some 40 year old i still think you are

chenle: how many times do i have to tell you im really 18 years old ffs but sure, when are you free?

on the inside youre just like: ASJDHJHDUIADHASJKDAHAHD WHAT THE FUCK

you: uhh i have school so i’m always busy hehehe

chenle: then i’ll see you in your school, what school do you go to?

this kid doesnt know when to give up

you: hhhhhhh i guess then i’m free tomorrow 

chenle: GREAT! I’LL SEE YOU ON HONGDAE here’s my number boo

and there you have it

your first unofficial meet up with zhong chenle himself

you were too much in thought about meeting him you didnt even notice jaemin standing there with pizza in his hands

“what are you staring at sis?” - jaems

“uh nothing” you snatched the pizza from his hands

fast forward to tomorrow

you were getting nervous to meet chenle

“hey where are you going?” jaemin takes a peek of you in your room

can he stop scaring you like that

“going out” - u 

“going where?” - jaems

“hongdae”

“cuteee do you have a date today?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you

“no-”

“are you going out with that pizza delivery boy?!” jaemin suddenly gushes

“jeno?” you ask him

“yeah that one” - jaemin

“no, i’m just gonna go shopping” you brush him off

jaemin shrugs and gives you some pocket money to spend

“be safe and have fun” he closes the door of your room

after safely arriving in hongdae, you sat somewhere thats not that crowded

who knows if this chenle person is famous right

so there you were waiting for him to text you or something

and just like that, your phone rings

it was an unknown number

but you answer anyway

“hello this is chenle, may i ask if you are in gongcha right now?” 

you looked around the people who’s passing by hoping to see someone fancy looking holding their phones

suddenly someone stops right in front of you

“found you” 

with that, chenle hangs up and sits across the table from you

“hi, i’m chenle” he gives his hand out for you to shake

and man, you were shookt

he looks like an ordinary teenager 

or a hypebeast for this occasion 

“o-oh .. h-hello” you bow

chenle suddenly laughs at your reaction 

his laugh is beautiful 

“don’t be nervous baby, i mean no harm” he smiles

his smile that totally made your heart melt

“how could i not? you’re the youngest billionaire out here” you gushed

chenle shushes you after the billionaire part

“sorry about that, it’s just i don’t like it when people tell me that” he tells you casually

ok humble king

“have you ordered yet? if not let’s order right now, on me” he grabs his wallet from his pocket and heads inside gongcha

after taking your orders, you two sat outside again with your drinks

“so y/n.. tell me about yourself” chenle takes a sip of his drink

“well, like i told you last night, i’m a student in college and i live with my brother who’s a doctor and that’s about it.. what about you, mr. zhong” you giggled

“first of all, don’t call me mr. zhong. you can call me lele instead and i love music and i like to play the piano and sometimes i sing” he shares, showing off his pearly whites

and after some many more conversations with him, he finally asks you an important question

“ok last question” he laughs, “i know it’s kinda weird but i really like your company and i know we met through a sugar daddy/sugar baby app but would you like.. stay with me..?” he asks cautiously

you stared at him with wide eyes

“i’ll pay for everything you want.. just,, stay or keep me company..?”

you kept quiet, just in shock on what just happened

“it’s okay if you don’t want to, just forget that i asked” he laughs awkwardly

“no it’s okay, i’ll keep you company but please please don’t pay for everything. i can pay for myself” you tell him

“why not? i got money, i can spoil you with gifts” he looks at you confused

“if you can’t remember, i’ve got a brother who’s a doctor and i guess we’re loaded too you know” you roll your eyes at him

“pfft okay then so.. where were we” 

and with that you guys carry on your conversation 

months has passed and you’ve been with chenle through everything

every time something happened in his company, you were there comforting him or just keeping him sane through out everything

and within those months, you’ve seen different sides of him as well

like the serious side of him– when he’s in business meeting and you’re his plus one 

aside from his secretary of course

the funny side of him– when he’s cracking jokes to literally everyone

sometimes he takes days off in the midst of his own company just to pull pranks on his secretary, renjun

and of course, his vulnerable side– when he feels he can’t do what his father left him, the family legacy

there were night where you had to stay over at his place just to make him calm down or just to make sure he’s sleeping or eating well 

and tonight was those vulnerable nights of chenle

here you were in his room, on the floor holding his hand as he rants about how his day turned to shit 

“it’s just so.. hard you know?” he opens up, “when everyone expects you to follow a certain life but i’m not all about that business shit life! i want to sing or fucking play the piano or do some teenager shit not this paper work life!” his voice cracks at the end of his sentence

“ah shit i’m crying in front of you again” he laughs, wiping the tears 

you don’t say anything but held his hand tighter

“thanks y/n.. you’re the best” he smiles down at you

“anything for you, chenle. that’s why i’m here for you right? to keep you company” you smile back

“can you.. come up here with me” chenle motions for you to sit beside him on the bed

you agree and climbed up

chenle sits up awkwardly, staring at you.

“woah this is the first time i had a girl on my bed” he giggles

“then i’m honoured” you laugh

suddenly your phone vibrates multiple times

you take a look and its your brother looking for you

“who is it?” chenle asks

“it’s my brother, he said i should go home” you slowly push yourself from his comfy bed

“no, it’s late. i’ll take you home first thing in the morning” 

“i don’t want to be a burden to you lele” you say shyly

“you’re never a burden to me y/n” chenle smiles again

that night, you slept in his very arms for the first time

you wake up earlier that him and decided to prepare breakfast for him

you set the eggs and bacon on the table with orange juice

you smiled at your efforts, hoping he’d like it

chenle woke up in distraught since you were no where in sight

he was in his pajama pants and he rushed downstairs to check if you were still there

and thankfully, you were

you were on the dining table, waiting for him with breakfast ready

“good morning” he grins, face looking brighter than ever

you smile back at him, “good morning to you too, sleepyhead. help yourself with some breakfast”

chenle takes a seat and sips on the orange juice next to him, “did you make this?” he asks

you nod, “for you” 

you could’ve swore you saw him blush for a moment there 

and with that, you two ate in peace, just enjoying each other’s company

a few days later

you couldn’t make it to chenle’s office since you had classes and it was exam week 

chenle was obviously very lonely that week

even his own secretary checked up on him cause he was awfully quiet ever since you came into his life

“so how are you and y/n huh” renjun casually asks chenle who was busy reading papers on the table

“we’re doing great” chenle replies nonchalantly 

“are you two going steady now?”

that question made chenle halt to a stop on what he was doing

renjun notices that chenle turned quiet

“i never asked her to be official” chenle gasps, scaring renjun in the process

“wha-”

“renjun hyung can you get me the biggest bouquet bundle you can find” chenle rushes

renjun nods and grabs his ipad, looking for what chenle requested

“fuck.. what did y/n wanted again” chenle asks himself, trying to remember the bag or things you told him about

“call jisung and tell him we’re going to the mall” chenle tells renjun yet again, rushing to the elevator so he could go to the mall with his best buddy

“so what are we buying your special someone again?” jisung asks chenle who was busy pacing around the mall

“y/n said she wanted a bag but i cant remember what was it” chenle tells jisung who just looks as lost as he was

chenle ended up going to every luxury store they had in the mall

like louis vitton, gucci, prada, balenciaga, fendi

you name it he went there and bought one bag each

he even went to some make up stores thanks to jisung’s suggestion

surprisingly he had a girlfriend who was a makeup artist and puts make up on jisung’s face when they have nothing to do

and of course, chenle followed what his best friend suggested

now they were on their way back to your place cause you just texted chenle that you were almost done with your exam

chenle and jisung unload his car and went straight up to your apartment that you shared with your brother

and your brother answers the door

“uh chenle? what are you doing here?” jaemin answers the door

chenle stood there in shock once again, “jaemin hyung? you’re y/n’s brother?” he stares at jaemin confused.

jaemin nods slowly before realization hits him, “you’re the person y/n is seeing?!” 

chenle nods uncertainly, slightly offended you never told jaemin about him but quickly shrugs it off. 

“well surprise! now can you help us with this? i’m asking y/n to be my girlfriend when she arrives home” 

jaemin immediately steps in and helps the two boys

after an hour or so, everything is now set into place

now they were just waiting for you to arrive

chenle stood there with his usual work attire which was a formal suit, holding a big ass bouquet and the paper bags right behind him

“jisung how do i look?!” chenle looks at jisung who was showing him two thumbs up

“dashing bro, she’ll say yes in no time”

and as if on cue, you walked in

and to say you were shocked to see chenle standing there 

“lele! what are you doing here?” you covered your mouth in shock as you saw the never ending line of paper bags right behind him and the bouquet he was holding

“i’m here to ask you to be mine” he replies, staring at you once again

“does my brother know you’re here?” you look around your living room and you spot jaemin in the kitchen, watching the entire thing go down

“yeah. why didn’t you tell me he was your brother” chenle pouts, but shakes his head as he hands you the bouquet

chenle clears his throat once again, “na y/n.. would you be my first and last girlfriend?” he closes his eyes tight, waiting for your response

“i would be honoured” you take the bouquet off his hands and jumped into his arms

“about time you asked her” jisung comments in the background

“baby look, i got you some gifts!” chenle puts you down and shows you the abundant amount of things he got you

you smacked him in the chest, “what did i say about you giving me expensive gifts!” 

“let me spoil you, please? you showed me how loving someone wholeheartedly is priceless, and i want to return the favor in my own way” chenle shows you his infamous puppy eyes.

“lele you’re making me cry!” you tear up, hidng your face in his neck

“also because i can’t remember the thing you told me you wanted a few days ago so i had to compromise” chenle giggles

you were happy

and he was happy

who knew an app could bring you two together and end up like this

the end!

[dxlansfxck]

Saints & Sins [G.D] - Part 1

Summary: there's nothing that pisses Y/N off more than her own life. her family is highly religious, wealthy and nothing she'd consider fun. her surrounding is boring, but once the new guy, grayson, decides to sit right next to her, Y/N enters a new world filled with romance & fun. little did she know that this kind of fun had his shadow side to it.

Warnings: DRUG ABUSE!, this story is all about drugs, sex & a toxic relationship, if you don’t like stuff like that, you probably shouldn’t read this.

00 - Prologue

„I don’t get it, y/n! What did we do to you? How could you end up like this?”, her mother broke down in tears while looking down at her dirty, probably disgusting smelling self, “You’re the worst that could have happened to our family! Just because you needed to fall in love with this Grayson guy. The devil has sent him to test you, but you failed. You sinned just to receive a bit of pleasure instead of listening to your god!” She’s talking herself into some kind of rage but she isn’t even listening, ignoring her own mother like she did the past few months.

God here, god there. That’s all her family talks about, this weird guy that seems to live in the sky and watches us living. But how could she think him or Jesus when her mind is full of other things. Like her next shot. “Y/N, I can’t believe it! You’re not even listening to your own mother. I need to call the church so they can send father Louis to us, he needs to clean your mind! He needs to get those demons out of your thoughts.”

Suddenly, she starts praying, which Y/N’s opportunity to get out of here. She slowly walks back into her room, ignoring the cold floor on her naked feet, closes the door and smirks at the beautiful boy that’s already laying in her dirty bed. “Took you long, babe. Did your mother tell you I’m the devil’s son again? That I came straight from hell to ruin your life? Why don’t you listen to her, angel? Why won’t you leave me for your own sake?”, his fingers trail over her lips, making her already weak to the bones. Grayson chuckles, his still very muscular chest rising. His voice is full of sarcasm while his lips form the devilish grin that made her fall for him long time ago. Meanwhile, he takes the old, rusty utensils from the nightstand and slowly pours the white powder on top of the spoon. As soon as she sees his actions, her mind goes crazy and her tiny, destroyed body starts to shake from the sudden pain she feels. But Grayson takes his time preparing his own shot, holds the lighter under the spoon painfully slow.

“For fucks sake, hurry!”, her raspy voice breaks, but she bets he understood what she was saying, he just didn’t want to listen. “Gray, I can’t wait anymore!” Her cold hands were starting to shake so badly, that she was sure she couldn’t even prepare her own shot anymore but she knew Grayson, he wouldn’t do it for her, the were far past this point and he didn’t even wanted her to start this anyway. “If you’ve got enough time to prepare it that slowly, hand it over! I need it now! You know that once I’m on turkey I can’t do it myself. GIVE IT TO ME!”, she tries to rip the improvised belt out of his hand, but he just pushes her away with his foot before ramming the needle in his veins. A few seconds later, his eyes were already closing while a soft smile appears on his lips.

“Fucking son of a bitch”, she mostly mutters to herself before pulling the needle out of his arm and starts preparing her own shot of happiness. She didn’t even bother to clean the needle, if they didn’t get ill from sharing by now, it’ll probably never happen.

Her hands won’t stop shaking while cooking the substance on the dirty spoon and it gets even worse while she was trying to get it into the needle. She nearly dropped everything while searching for a good enough vein, trying not to shoot into the scar tissue, but after a few misplaced shots, she finally gets a good one that beams her somewhere else before falling asleep on Grayson’s chest.

01 - Grayson Bailey Dolan

Her life is boring. Not interesting at all. She’s been in this Christian boarding school ever since she was 6. Now she had to change to a Christian college and to be honest: it really fucking sucks.

She needs to take religion classes every day, visit the college  church every Sunday and her parents seem to be the most boring humans on earth.

“Y/N, c’mon, we’re coming late to Biology!”

Have I already mentioned that her classmates suck as well? She’s never seen someone coming late to class, it’s always been her and always her. By her, I mean Y/N Y/L/N. Ugh, she knows it could’ve been worse, because there’s a guy sitting in front of her called Thaddeus, I mean… You probably know what I mean.

After lunch – strictly vegetarian, of course – and without any motivation left, she attempted the last class of the day. Her uniform was already loose because she had opened the first two buttons of her blouse, the tie hanging loosely around her neck. Which college had uniforms anyway? This was a fucking cult.

“Ms. Y/L/N, could you please put your feet back on the holy ground instead of the table? Or do you want to clean it afterwards?” Y/N huffs in annoyance, placing her feet back in front of her. Instead of mocking the teacher, she gets interrupted by the door swinging open loudly. None of those fuckers would come late to class, but nobody heard of a new student joining them. The guy that walks in seemed a bit older, he was taller and… built. He was a giant, broad shoulders, thick thighs and you could tell through his uniform shirt, that his chest was phenomenal.

“My lovely students, this is Grayson Bailey Dolan. His parents moved here from New Jersey, please don’t be rude to him! I bet he’d be glad to know all of you. Grayson Bailey, why don’t you tell the class more about yourself?”

Grayson Bailey Dolan, as the teacher told them, didn’t seem to be very affected by anything. He studies every single face, which gives Y/N the opportunity to study his. A mop of bleached hair, narrowed eyebrows and brown eyes that had the same annoyed look as hers. His plump lips were pressed into a line, probably hiding a rude commentary to his introduction.

“It’s Grayson. And I don’t see the point in introducing myself, wouldn’t want to make friends anyway.” His deep voice didn’t surprise her at all, while he begins walking towards the only empty chair – which of course led to be the one next to Y/N. She fought for this place for about two years, she would never share it. Not with him, not with anyone. “I want to sit alone”, she spat. “And I don’t care.”

“Alright, the seat next to Ms Y/L/N is empty as you already saw. Now, tell us about your hobbies, your favorite book, don’t be shy!”, their teacher still tries to make him talk, but Grayson just huffs in annoyance. “No hobbies, I don’t read, just look at the pictures, and for that I prefer the dirty ones, you know?”

“Oh, okay, well… Anyways, we’re going to start with our next topic which will be DNS and genetics. I’ll show you a little short film and you have to take some notes so we can discuss it later on. Have fun with our little friend Geni!”

With that, the teacher started some stupid clip of an alien called Geni that wants to teach genetics while being funny. Didn’t work out that well.

“Hey, is she always like that? She seems to be a bit sick in the head.” Grayson’s voice drags Y/N out of her thoughts, and she was surprised that he decided to talk to her. She shrugs her shoulders while muttering a quick “dunno”. She feels his eyes burning through her body while he was obviously checking her out, so she kept starring at him. “Is there something interesting to see? You should focus on Geni, our little friend, not my unbuttoned blouse.” With that, she continued studying his face, his jawline was very strong in contrast to his hallowed cheeks. His eyes seem to be tired because they’ve always been kind of closed while his gaze is starring somewhere else.

Just in the moment he was about to open his mouth, the teacher screams “Well that was fun! Never been so amused while learning important lections! Ha, Geni is a genius. I hoped you wrote down anything important so we can discuss them in the next lesson. Have a night evening and I hope everyone will be there to cheer on our hockey team, they have their first official match today!”

 Soon, the classroom is empty, and everyone is inside their dorms. Y/N changed into something more comfy before sitting down on her desk while painting with her new oil colors.

“Wow, damn! This is sick! Looks like some kind of a trip. Do you draw often? I mean, of course you do, it looks so fucking good!” Y/N got so terrified that she nearly fell out of her chair, then she realized it was Grayson standing right next to her, his eyes on the piece of paper in front of her.

“Ehm, hi Grayson? Nice to see you, I guess, but that’s my room?” “Hi, cool room. I like your style, fits mine”, he points to her pair of joggers while opening and unbuttoning his shirt. Then he sits down on the bed which hasn’t had an owner. Yet.

“Anyways, this college sucks. I mean, it really bloody sucks. Teacher and students. Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you, but you know how it is. Everyone seems to be manipulated by god, it’s really scary. Well, I live here now, but I gotta go. See you later, alligator.”

He was soon gone and Y/N was more than confused. She was a girl, living in a dorm, not knowing there was any chance to have a boy as a roommate. Of course, sometimes boyfriend and girlfriend were able to share a room, but most of the time, it was strictly separated. Shrugging the thought off, Y/N prepared her stuff for a quick shower, still thinking about Grayson Bailey Dolan and the impact he’s going to have on her life.

 The next morning already starts with a surprise, it seems like Grayson Dolan hasn’t been in there the entire night. His suitcase and most of his clothes are still spread across his bed. This boy was such a mystery.

Not even an hour later, Y/N finds herself in the first class of the day, not listening to what the teacher said, drawing in her notebook again. “Do you always draw that stuff? I mean, yesterday, today, literally all the time. Not that it bothers me, I really like it. But I wanna know what’s in your head.” She was kinda pissed about Grayson’s presence that she couldn’t ever answer his question. “Oh c’mon, don’t act like you’re listening to that bullshit this nun is talking about. And since you’re a student here, you should be drawing churches or the holy ghost or I don’t even know. But for sure not that”, he points to the burning people she drew, burning in the purgatory and her cheeks got instant red.

“Where were you last night? When I woke up I found your suitcase on your bed, just like you left it yesterday. Listen, those professors are so fucking strict, I don’t want to lose this place, okay? And one of their simplest punishments is scrubbing the church floor – which I don’t want to do either because there will be 20 Jesus figures watching you. And..” “Y/L/N, Dolan! This lesson is more precious than your conversation, seems like I have to inform both of your parents. Detention, both of you!” Their fat, disusting teacher interrupts them.

After 4 more hours of maths and religion, Y/N practically runs into her room, Grayson Dolan right behind her. “Y/N, why aren’t you talking to me? Are you angry ‘cause of the detention? Listen, I’m kinda sorry, but it’ll be just two hours of sitting there, it could be worse. And why is the ugly rat calling our parents? Y/L/N are you even listening?” She feels Grayson’s large hand on her shoulder, but shrugs it off. “Hm? Yeah, sure I am.” “You’re weird, but oh well. Are you hungry? Should we head out to Subway or McDonalds? We still have a bit of time left before detention starts and I’m starving.”

The girl is looking up to him, confusion written on her face. “Leaving? The only time you’re allowed to leave is between 3 and 7. Lunch is in the canteen, but the food is vegetarian.”

Grayson’s eyes widen in shock. “Vegetarian? Seriously? Dude, this is torture! How are you even alive?” “Dunno, never had meat, never wanted to, it’s dead animals. That’s disgusting. There’s plants for a reason, y’know?” “Sick”, Grayson nods. “Hey, Y/N! Why can’t ants go to church? ‘cause they’re insects. In-sects! Understand?”, he laughs so hard that he needed to sit down on his bed, holding his stomach. Y/N on the other hand opened the bible on her desk. “Haha, funny”, she mumbled and began to write down the daily phrases they needed to hand in the next day.

“Have you ever drunk alcohol? Or smoked? Oh, you hesitated, you’re a literal virgin. In everything! We need to change that, but first: lunch!” He drags her by her tiny hands and almost runs into the dining hall. “What’s that smell?”, he scrunches his nose, looking confused. “I don’t even know, it always smells like cabbage, but there’s never cabbage in the meals. You need to get the vegetable burger, but never the vegetable sausages. Everything with noodles or potatoes is fine, salad is okay but the soups are disgusting, got it? We can go to the city later on and find something better for you.” They both decided on getting the burger and while Y/N bites into it, Grayson takes a bite of the fries, then scrunches his nose again and adds half a bottle of ketchup onto them.

“I can show you around then, but there aren’t any cool stores to buy clothes, I usually order them once I’m home”, Y/N managed to speak while chewing her last bite of burger. “You’re pretty cool, angel. Never thought I could meet someone I’d like in here.”  

[chuffyfan87]

Hiding. Part 45a (NSFW)

Cowritten with @disastrousintention. Author note - contains a flashback scene.

-x-

Duffy yawned as she looked up from the computer screen and tried to focus her eyes on the clock. 2.46am. She'd been unable to sleep so she'd snuck downstairs to try and finish her assignment. The table around her was littered in books and papers. Her eyes were growing heavier by the second and she couldn't help resting her head on one of the books and closing her eyes.

Charlie had woken briefly and frowned noticing the bed beside him was empty. Where the hell was she? He figured she’d be downstairs, probably working on her assignment but went down to check. Finding her asleep on her pile of books, Charlie placed the blanket around her shoulders and tucked her up.

She woke up a little while later, confused as to where the blanket had come from. As she moved the muscles in her neck and back complained loudly.

Charlie and the children were just coming downstairs at the time she woke.

"What time is it?" Duffy mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

“7am.” He replied.

She looked at the computer and sighed. "I was hoping to have gotten more done than that." She grumbled.

“Hey! You’ve done amazing! Don’t beat yourself up, please.”

She tried to stand up but her back really didn't like the idea. She leant heavily against the table edge.

“Is your back giving you jip?”

"I'm too old and fat to be sleeping in chairs." She muttered grumpily.

“Old maybe yes. Fat you are certainly not!”

"Hmm." Though it had been a few weeks they hadn't yet told the children the news.

“You’re not fat!” He sighed, “You’re growing a baby!”

She glared at him. "Keep your voice down!" She hissed.

He sighed, “We need to tell them at some point.”

"I know, but not yet."

He nodded, “But soon?”

"I know I can't keep it a secret much longer."

“Maybe we can tell people after our scan?”

"OK. If half the department hasn't guessed by then!"

“Has anyone said anything to you?”

"I've heard a few whispers about the fact I've gained weight."

“Who’s said that?!”

"We both know what young nurses are like for gossiping." She sighed. "I haven't been as sick this time so that's making a difference."

“You know I love your pregnancy curves anyway. More skin for me to kiss, lick and suck.” He grinned, “Not to mention all the other bonuses.” He paused for a second, “He’s definitely a he then?”

"I was certainly a lot more sick with the girls, that's for sure!"

“Yeah you were.”

"Have you heard anything or does everyone just think I've gotten fat?"

“I haven’t heard anything.” He replied.

"Great!" She sighed, rolling her eyes. She caught sight of the clock. "Shit! I need to get ready for work!"

“Relax. The boss isn’t in, you can’t get into trouble.” He reassured.

"I know coz she's stood here having a disagreement with her husband!"

“I wouldn’t say it was a disagreement.”

"Well you're preventing me from getting ready to leave..." She chuckled.

“Go and get ready.” He smiled.

Several minutes later she came back down dressed in fresh clothes, her uniform draped over her arm. She began to gather her books and laptop into her bag to take with her.

By now the girls were sat around the table, waiting for breakfast. They said goodbye to their mum and gave her a kiss. “Love you mummy.” They called. Charlie smiled, kissing Duffy softly, “Don’t work too hard gorgeous. Have a good day.” His hand discreetly squeezed her bottom.

She winked at him. "I'll try not to but there's a lot to get through today." She sighed.

“Remember to take frequent breaks. I don’t want you hugging the floor.”

"Yes sir!" She mocked.

He rolled his eyes playfully, “Love you.”

"Love you too." She blew him a kiss as she headed out the door.

Every day he counted his blessings on finding someone so beautiful and smart.

It was nearly 10pm before Duffy finally arrived back home. She dropped her bag down the hallway and leant back against the door with a sigh.

Suddenly her phone pinged with a text message from Charlie. It read, 'There’s a bath and bubbles waiting for you. And your favourite dinner in the oven xxx’

She smiled and trudged over to the stairs to take off her shoes. She looked up, debating if she had the energy to walk up to the bathroom.

“I can always carry you up the stairs if need be.” Charlie said from the doorway of the living room.

She squeaked, not realising he was there.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.”

"Aren't you on the early shift tomorrow?"

“I am, for my sins.” He smiled.

"Shouldn't you be in bed already then?"

“Yes but I wanted to wait until you came back.”

"Want to join me for that bath then?" She grinned.

"Maybe..." He grinned.

"Ah the truth reveals itself!" She giggled, holding out her hand towards him.

He smiled brightly and placed his hand in hers.

She groaned as he pulled her to her feet.

“Sore feet?”

"Sore everything." She admitted.

“Need a little massage somewhere?”

"Tempting..! Though don't let me fall asleep." She insisted.

“Why?"

"I still have more work to do."

“You need to relax. It’s been a long day for you!”

"I'm not going to have much time to work on it tomorrow though."

“Please don’t push yourself too hard. I don’t want you to get ill.”

"I won't. I'm only going into the school for a couple of hours tomorrow."

“Promise me?”

"It's only a ten minute presentation and then I'll be sat with the kids answering questions and showing them some of the stuff we work with everyday." She rolled her eyes. "Its a group of four and five year olds - how tough can it be?"

“Probably very tough.” He pointed out, “And hard work.”

"Yes, they're so much harder to deal with compared to drunks and addicts." She rolled her eyes.

“They throw the same amount of tantrums and ask just as many questions.” Charlie answered.

"I think I can tackle your average four year old Charlie!" She laughed.

“I’m not saying you can’t. You can handle everyone!” He replied.

"Then stop fussing and let's go have a bath."

“I’m waiting for you.” He smiled.

"You're the one arguing!" She countered with a laugh.

“Am not.” He pouted.

"The bath is going to be cold at this rate." She remarked as she began to slowly climb the stairs.

“And who’s fault will that be, Mrs Fairhead?”

"Yours?" She shrugged.

“Yours.” He pouted.

She was about to retort when she opened the bathroom door and discovered he'd lit candles and placed fresh towels on the side.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

She tried to speak but burst into tears instead.

He didn’t say anything before he pulled her into a hug.

“What?” He whispered, rubbing her back.

"I need to stop crying at everything!"

“I only lit some candles.” He smiled.

"It was such a sweet thing though." Her bottom lip was starting to tremble again.

“I’ll do anything for you. You know that don’t you?” He pulled away to meet her eye, “Let me go and check the bath is still warm.”

"I swear I wasn't this much of a hormonal wreck last time!"

“With the boys? Or with the girls?"

"Either!" She sighed. "Oh I don't know, maybe I was and I've blocked out the memories." She laughed wryly. "You're determined to try and guess aren't you?"

“Maybe.” He grinned. “Of course! I love guessing!”

"Its going to be a long few months..!" She giggled.

“A very long few months.” He began to undress in the bathroom. “Now are you getting in the bath or..?” He grinned.

She nodded and quickly undressed before stepping into the bath and sliding under the water.

He got in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “Your body is beautiful!”

She laid her head back against his chest and sighed as she closed her eyes.

He kissed the top of her head but didn’t say anything.

It didn't take long before she was snoring softly.

He smiled sadly as he heard the snores and for a while just left her to snooze.

She suddenly awoke when Charlie's hands grabbed her as she tried to roll over in her sleep. "Huh?" She mumbled as her face narrowly missed the water.

“You’re in the bath.” He told her. “Come on let’s go to bed.”

"No, I need to eat and do some more work." She argued weakly.

“No you need to sleep. You’re exhausted.”

"I'm fine!"

“Will you just stop arguing for once and listen to me? Please?”

She grumbled as she slowly pushed herself up out of the bath and dragged a towel towards her.

He helped her up and out of the bath. Before he got himself out and draped a towel around him.

"I'm not an invalid!" She muttered under her breath.

He didn’t respond to her comment. He was only trying to help!

She wasn't in the mood to be fussed. She was perfectly capable. She hated being treated like she was fragile or weak.

There was an awkward silence as they went into the bedroom and got themselves ready for bed.

Once changed into her pjs she desperately wanted to go to bed but she also kept thinking about all the other things she needed to get done. She walked towards the door.

“Come to bed, baby?”

"You said there was food in the oven. You're always complaining that I don't eat enough!"

“Shall we have dinner together then?”

"OK." She agreed.

He smiled. They went downstairs and Charlie took the food out of the oven. He’d made her favourite.

Duffy sat on the sofa. They couldn't be bothered with the formality of sitting at the table this late in the evening.

[sirsparklepants]

Today is my mom’s birthday. If she hadn’t died a year and a half ago, she’d be 53. I love her, and despite my childhood with her, I miss her. But I wanted to take today to deliver a perhaps... more nuanced tribute to her than I could somewhere like Facebook. I wanted to talk about a pretty difficult topic: when you still love your abusive parents.

Below the cut: child abuse, parental death

My parents separated when I was eight, after two years of increasingly toxic behavior toward each other. They both continued their separate downward spirals until about when I entered high school five years later, when they leveled out into a plateau of “mentally ill and still abusive but functional”. Coincidentally, when I hit high school (a year early at 13, I was bumped up a year before they split), I made some of the most genuine close friends of my life, a few of whom I’m still close with to this day. And that’s when I started to realize that even aside from being divorced, life with my parents... wasn’t quite normal.

I figured everyone got pissed with their parents and had screaming matches. Everyone had chores and had to look after their younger siblings. Everyone had to sit down and listen to their parents lecture them about the most tedious shit. But... something didn’t quite fit. I’d tell a story that I thought was hilarious and get met by a room full of horrified stares. My friends’ chore load wasn’t as heavy as mine. No one else got crowded into walls and told “you’re lucky I know better than to slap you” or “be careful next to those stairs, huh?” And no one else’s parents thought it was funny to give their eleven-year-old a drink or have them bartend at their parties. 

See, before high school, I didn’t have close friends I could trust. I didn’t understand how to socialize, really, until then. This was my first time seeing into the home lives of other people, and it was eye-opening. Even my parents on their best behavior clearly weirded some of my friends out a bit. Even the ones with abusive parents themselves. Probably because my parents were both alcoholics with severe bipolar disorder with psychotic features. My mom had dissociative identity disorder as well. My dad was a coke addict for several years who blew through quite literally multiple millions of dollars on either drugs or manic or drug-fuelled bad decisions in... oh, less than ten years, I think. So almost everything they did had to be extreme.

But the thing was, though, they weren’t all bad. That’s the thing that people sometimes miss in their depictions of abusive parents. You don’t just love them because they’re your parents. They’re also not abusive all the fucking time. My dad took us on fantastic island vacations and to Disney and out to eat for every birthday and to the bookstore every couple of weeks. My mom made us art and let us watch cool movies and listen to cool music and loved to let us choose clothes we liked. In retrospect, most of those choices were either financially or like, parentally irresponsible (I watched Natural Born Killers for the first time when I was thirteen), but when you’re a teen, you don’t think about shit like that. 

You think, ‘oh, my parents are the fun parents. They’re the ones who will let me stay out at night as late as I want as long as they know where I am. They’re the ones who won’t make us do homework if we have friends over after school. They’re the ones who will let us watch Rocky Horror and not tell any of the other parents, especially the religious ones. They’ll let me sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend. That’s so much better than what my friends deal with.’ And you take the rest of it - the responsibility for younger siblings, the yelling, the heavy chore list that really should belong to an adult that’s basically all the housework and cooking, the listening to your parents destroy shit and sob when they get upset, the hitting, the listening to your siblings get hit - as the price for them being the fun one. Or you think, ‘they let me do so much fun stuff, I have so much freedom, and I still fuck up. It probably really is my fault and this is a justified punishment.’

I was probably sixteen, in my junior year of high school, when I really realized that things weren’t right. I’d been living in a bubble of unreality. And that’s when the bad stuff started ramping up from my mother. I would start fights with her just to keep her attention on me, so she’d stop screaming at my younger sister over her grades. I’d get after my sister for her homework, but much more gently. I’d do all the laundry, clean the house, and cook dinner most nights. And most weekends, she’d get drunk and cry on me about her boyfriend problems, about my dad and how awful he’d been to her, about her relationship with her parents. I became the parent in that household, and it was suffocating. And it was most suffocating because I genuinely loved her. I still love her. I wanted her to do better. And I thought if I left, I’d be abandoning her and abandoning my sister.

I did leave, eventually, and it caused her to attempt suicide to get me back. When my sister left, three years later, she did the same thing. I had a very hot and cold relationship with my mother most of my adult life. With my father as well, but that was mostly papered over by pleasantries. My mom came to me and apologized for what a fuck-up she’d been during my childhood - a rambling, self-centered, guilt-trippy apology, but it was there. But even without that, I loved her and would have tried to make it work with her, because I genuinely wanted her mental health to improve and cutting her support system down wouldn’t do that. If she stepped over my clearly delineated boundaries, we didn’t talk for a set period of time. When she didn’t, we went out to lunch and talked about work and she gave me small little gifts that improved my day - bath oil in my favorite brand and scent, a tiny light with a screen over it to look like a planetarium, oil perfumes, things like that. Because she knew me. Sometimes she used that knowledge to hurt me, and sometimes she used it to care for me.

When she died, we were in a good place, relatively. I didn’t hear from her for Christmas, but I was going to see her for New Years, probably, because we never set much stock in dates. But two days after Christmas, I got a call from my sister. She’d died. She’d died two weeks ago.

I don’t think I can explain the conflicting mass of emotions that rose up in me, those first few months. I’d seen her a week before she died. She’d hugged me. But I hadn’t really talked with her, because it got up to 80 outside (yes, in December, I live in Satan’s taint) and I was making gravy on the stove without the AC and I got sick from the heat, so I laid down for most of the visit. But I said hello to her, and I did talk with her, and I hugged her goodbye. It was good. She behaved herself, didn’t drink, didn’t get too loud and self-centered. It was a good note to end our relationship on. But I can’t count how many times I expressed, to my best friend and my then-boyfriend, that I wish we had been on the outs so I’d feel less grief. That I’d feel less guilty that no one checked on her, even though she isolated herself and often went weeks without speaking to anyone. That if I was angry with her, doing the things that I needed to do would be easier. That if I was angry with her, I wouldn’t feel so badly about still having so much lingering anger about my childhood. That no one would expect me to come up with a beautiful eulogy at her funeral. That her friends wouldn’t be so angry with me for not checking on her.

It’ll be two years in December, and I’m still not done processing everything. I’m still conflicted. But two facts do stand out to me. She was abusive. I did still love her.

Happy birthday, Mom. I love you, and I see you, the whole person. You were doing better, but that didn’t make up for your fuckups. But neither did your fuckups take away from the good you did. You believed that things continue, so here it is, my tribute: I believe you are keeping on, somewhere. I believe that you’re beyond the concerns and hurts that dragged you down. I believe that’s what’s left of you is love. Love and dragonflies and the light of the moon and the sun.

Love, your kid.

[crosbys-guccifloral-crocs]

What Was Once Mine - Part III

AN: sorry for the delay everyone! I hope you enjoy part 3! Without further ado, here it is...

Before you start -- Part I and II -- ALSO: I have absolutely NO ill feelings toward Jeffrey Azoff or who he is as a person. The character bashing and villain created in this story is purely FICTION. Jeff is actually an amazing little bean. 

Warnings: none really -- fluff, angst, mentioned cheating. 

Word Count: 2,474

Previously: “Please, Y/N enough with the small talk. I can’t take it. I miss you, I miss Lennie. This is the most time we’ve spent with one another since she was born 2 months ago. She needs us. I need us. Please, just let me explain, no excuses. And even after all of it, if you still don’t want me, I’ll let you go, just please let me try. Now, let’s go inside and chat, yeah?” Harry asks looking her in the eyes and putting a strand of her beautiful hair behind her ear. 

“Y/N — baby, listen to me, here I am, in front of you trying to tell you tha’ I don’t even remember sleeping with this woman. I don’t know how the panties got in my pocket. I’m not in denial about anything, my love. I truly, truly do not even remember sleeping with anyone. I could say tha’ I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing and tha’ it was a mistake, but I know that none of tha’ will fix what I’ve done. So I stand here today, on what has been one of the greatest days we’ve ever experienced as a family, and I vow to show you that I will change. I need to be better for you and for Lennon. I love yeh, so, so much and I’m sorry tha’ I hurt yeh. But I truly believe tha’ we are stronger than one mistake. Than my mistake.” Harry was begging now, practically on his knees in front of his wife.

“Harry, honey. What you did was nearly unforgivable. I never, ever thought that you of all people would hurt me so badly. And the fact that you did it before our child even got to experience a real family is unfathomable. But you’ve been here for her lately, regardless of our situation. And that’s what matters. I’m happy to continue to be with you when Lennie is involved, but I don’t think we can ever get back to what we were. I’m sorry, Harry. You should probably go. Lennon’s suitcase is packed and waiting by the door. I’ll pick her up Wednesday after work or Gemma will. I’ll let you know as soon as I can.” Y/N says wiping hastily at her teary eyes and kissing her baby goodbye as she turns to leave the room and head upstairs.

“Y/N, love! Wait I—” Harry makes a move to run up the stairs after her but hears a door slam shut.

“Well, little bird, I guess it’s just you and me. Let’s go, love.” Harry says to Lennon as she looks up at her father and chews on her fingers. Clueless to the chaos that is her parents lives.

Meanwhile, upstairs in the master suite of her home, Y/N cries into her knees as she brings them up to her chest in the bathtub. The water from the shower is cascading down her back; the falling water drowning out the sounds of her muffled cries.

“C’mon my love. You’ve got this! One more push and our little bird will be here! You can do it!” Harry encouraged.

“I can’t, H. It hurts too much.”

“Yes you can, baby. Don’t you want to meet our baby girl? She’ll be so lucky to have you as her mummy. I know it.”

Those few words gave Y/N all the encouragement she needed to bring their little love into the world. As the doctor laid the baby on Y/N’s chest, she looked at Harry and saw him looking at her and their daughter with more pride and love than he ever thought possible. No awards or number one singles or albums could ever amount to a moment so breathtaking and incredible as seeing one’s wife birth his first born. She (the baby) was so pure and so good. Being brought into a world that had all recently turned to shit. On what should have been the happiest day of their lives, without question it held an air of misfortune. Knowing that when Y/N and Harry brought their daughter home later that day he would not get to stay. But for that moment, in that hospital room as new parents, they were a family.

“Welcome to the world, Lennon Gemma Styles. We’ve been waiting for you a long time.” Y/N said, crying and she stroked her daughter’s cheek.

Later that day when harry came home from visiting Adam and his children with baby Lennie he noticed a piece of paper wedged in the door of his apartment. With Lennon in her baby Björn on his chest he kissed her head and read the note

H,

There’s something I need to tell you. Meet me at Daunt Books at 5 pm. I’ll be waiting by the stairs.

C.

Huh. “I wonder what this could be about, little bird.” Harry wondered aloud. Checking his watch, he noticed that it was only 3 pm. He still had 2 hours before he had to meet this mystery informant.

“Let’s have a snack, yeah? Are yeh hungry pretty girl?” He smiled at her, unstrapping her from the Björn and walking her into the kitchen.

 *** At the bookstore *** 

“Pssttt. Harry, over here!” He hears a feminine voice whisper. Just then a small dark haired figure emerges from behind the bookstore staircase.

“Cayla? That are you doing here?” Harry asks, dumbfounded.

“H. There’s something you need to know about what happened that night on tour.” Cayla says taking Lennon’s small hand in her own as she stands in front of Harry.

“It was Jeff’s fault, Harry. Not yours. He put E (ecstasy) in your drink that night. Why do you think you couldn’t remember anything the next day? I told myself I wasn’t going to tell you, I would just let it be. But I can’t stand to see your world falling apart.”

“First of all, don’t touch my daughter. And second, why didn’t you come forward months ago when my world was crashing down around me? Huh? I lost everything because of what ‘supposedly’ happened that night! For the last 5 months the love of my life has hated me! And for the last 2 months my baby girl has grown up without both of her parents together! But… how do I know you’re telling the truth? Why would Jeff even do something like that? Also, don’t call me “H” that title is reserved for my wife and family.” Harry seethes, stepping away and shielding his daughter from the woman who has all but ruined his life.

“Jeff isn’t who you think he is, Harry. You can trust me on that. I know I’m likely to be the very last person on this planet that you should trust, but for the sake of your marriage and your daughter, please just hear me out. Jeff planned this for months, Harry. I’m an actress, Jeff spiked your drink at the bar in Toronto that night and told me to convince you that we slept together. He told me that if I didn’t he would ruin my career, so I took you back to your hotel room and placed my panties in your pocket. All we did that night was sleep, I promise you that. I even have the video of him spiking your drink on my phone. Here.” Cayla says, passing Harry her phone.

** In the video **  

**Jeff is seen dropping which, would most likely have been an ecstasy tab into Harry’s gin and cranberry juice while H is off in the distance somewhere. ** “Now, Cayla… here’s the plan, once H drinks this I want you to do whatever you need to in order to get him to leave with you.” Jeff says.

“Why are you doing this Jeff? What has Harry – or his poor wife ever done to you?” Cayla replies.

“He hasn’t done anything – yet. But that bitch, Y/N is ruining his life. She’s always held him back. Being his classic ball and chain. And now, she’s pregnant! Soon enough, he’ll stop touring and maybe even performing altogether, and I’ll be out of a job. But I’m not just doing this for me. I’m saving all of our careers. Mitch’s, Adam’s, Clare’s, Sarah’s and especially Harry’s. Great songs come from painful experiences so just imagine what a divorce and single parenthood could do for Harry’s career. I can just smell a number one album in the works. And don’t think I forgot about you.” Jeff smirks, as he passes Cayla an envelope across the bar. $10,000 in cash.

“You can expect the other half when the job is complete and done to my satisfaction.”

** End vid **

“He sent me the other half of the money when news broke that you and Y/N had separated. I wanted to tell you about it right away, but I had no other way to reach you other than making the trip out here. And I had absolutely no intention of bringing what I had done to the attention of the press. so until I had the money, I couldn’t truly repent for what I’ve done. I don’t want Jeff’s dirty money. So please, please accept my apology. I hope everything works out for you.” Cayla cries, tearing up as she hands Harry a USB drive and an envelope with $20,000 in cash inside.

“Well, I appreciate your apology Cayla. But I’m fairly certain my relationship with my wife is far beyond repair. Unless by some miracle she believes this crazy tale and forgives me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need some air.” Harry nods as he departs up the stairs of the bookshop and down the familiar London streets.

“Hey, Gem, it’s kind of a long story, but could you meet me at my apartment in 20? I need you to watch Len for a bit. I’ll explain everything as best I can when you get here, just please hurry.” Harry says in a breathless panic over the phone.        

“Of course, H. calm down I’m on my way.” Gemma replies.

“H? are you home? I came as soon as I could.” Gemma says calling out into the apartment for her baby brother and niece.

Gemma soon finds Harry holding Lennon to his chest and crying rather heavily.

“Oh, God, H are you ok? Is it Lennon?” Gemma wonders kneeling down in front of Harry.

“N-No, we’re fine, physically… b-but there’s something I need to tell you.” Harry stutters, as he proceeds to tell his sister what happened that fateful night.

* * *

“I – wow, H. this is unbelievable. You need to go to her, now. I’ll watch the princess. Now go get your girl, Har. And we’ll bring that bastard down soon enough.” Gemma responds taking Lennon from Harry so he can stand from the sofa.

“Okay, bye baby girl. Daddy loves you so much. I’ll be back, hopefully with mumma. See you soon.” Harry coos at his baby girl, kissing her forehead as she squirms and sleeps in Gemma’s arms.

*** At Y/N’s house ***

After her bath and therapeutic crying session earlier in the day, Y/N had finally made peace with the fact that her marriage may truly be over, while also pining over what she and Harry once were. But deep down she knew that she never wanted it to end.

Suddenly a faint knock at the front door brought her out of her trance and she peeled her eyes away from her wedding album, making her way down the stairs.

Opening the door to the most welcoming sight she had seen all day – her former knight in shining armour. “H-hey, H. what are you doing here?” Y/N questions wiping tears from her eyes. Her face soon void of any emotion other than the trail of tears glistening on her puffy red cheeks.  

“Baby, there’s something I really need to tell you. – Wait… have you been crying?” He rebuttals, rubbing a thumb over Y/N’s soft, rosy cheek. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing, H, I’m fine, promise. What are you doing here? Where’s little bird?” his wife asks, slightly panicked.

“She’s okay, love. She’s with Gem at the apartment. I had to come alone, quickly. You may want to sit down for what I’m about to tell you.”

“Oh, God. Is it bad? It’s that girl isn’t it? She’s pregnant, isn’t she? Oh, God, I knew it.” Y/N cries breaking down into an even bigger puddle of tears and collapsing into Harry’s chest.

Though extremely mortified by her train of thought, Harry can’t help but let out the tiniest chuckle. “Actually, my love, that’s what I’m here to talk to you about. It’s extremely good news – well, if you could call it that I guess.”

“Wait, what?! You’re happy that you knocked up your mistress?!” Y/N shrieks in horror looking up at Harry’s emerald green eyes.

“No, baby, she’s not pregnant, I promise. Let’s go upstairs and chat shall we?” He suggests, suddenly getting serious as he takes her by the hand and leads her up the stairs to their (well her) bedroom.

Before he begins his explanation of that night his eyes can’t help but drift to the photo album laid out on their bed. On display are two photos representing the two happiest days of his life – his wedding day, and the birth of his little precious princess. He owes every happiness during those days, and every other day for the last 6 years to his beautiful wife. He can only hope that what he reveals to her in the next hour or so will be able to restore that happiness and not only repair, but strengthen their bonds as a couple and a family.

                                                 * * *

“What… ?! But why would Jeff do something so cruel? What did you or I ever do to him?” Y/N asks, clearly baffled by the situation and the video that she had just witnessed. “He ruined everything for us, H! I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry I kept Lennon from you for so long, I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you, baby.” Y/N cries, collapsing into Harry’s arms.

“No, baby, shh. It’s not your fault beautiful. Not even I knew what was real. Now, can we put this all behind us and move on?” Harry smiles, wiping his wife’s tears from her cheeks before looking her in the eyes as if to ask her permission to kiss her.

Y/N nods quickly and stands on her tippy toes to reach her husband’s lips, pulling him into the most passionate kiss that they have shared in over 5 excruciatingly painful months spent apart. Y/N is quick to push her husband down on the bed and straddle him, all without detaching their lips.  

“Mhm, Y/N, baby… wait. As much as I would love to make love to you right now, I think we are both a little bit too vulnerable. Let’s just call Gem and tell her to bring little bird home, yeah? I missed my girls. Can we just spend tonight as a family? I’ve not had both m’girls together for longer than a day before.” H smiles as he says this, looking up at his wife with the purest and loving expression.

“Of course we can, my love. But tomorrow, we make love. After we bring down that smug bastard. Now let’s get our baby over here.” Y/N assures. 

What did ya’ll think?! feedback is LOVE!! 

[needlefac]

I Travelled back to home Bolton this weekend (09.07.21) and its a big deal. I've been fully out as trans just less than one year. I have only seen my mother twice and my father once in that time. My uncle, cousin and her twin boy and girl are coming up from down south to see me too. I was nervous to say the least. This is just my diary of the weekend and I hope it resonates with some of you. Family can be difficult and I know my experience isn't unique but I feel like sharing this is necessary. I feel weird being in my old room. I was so sad here sometimes. I can see marks in the wall where I literally punched it. My mum has papered over it (no need to over egg the metaphor there) and she calls it the “guest room” now. I’m a guest in my own memory. Mum was digging out some old photos and I look miserable in most of them. Even at weddings, no especially at weddings. I mean, who’s the bitch in the frock getting all the glory! Oh yeah, it’s my sister. It wasn’t always bad here but I did have to run away to be who I am. I know that “small town boy” thing is a cliché but it’s totally true. Bolton is a dead town if your interests include techno, contemporary art and wearing latex. (Not necessarily in that order) It’s 01.45 am. The glow on the horizon from this window is Manchester. Only 15 miles away but a world of difference. I’ve only been back here 5 hours and I’m looking at that perceived emerald city like I used to. I’d tune into Kiss 102 and listen to the city until I was old enough to get there at night. The 0161 wasn’t always the answer but it allowed me to be Freda. When I got here today my dad was in bed. I took that a bit personally. He’s not seen me since Christmas, he could have stayed up a bit. I don’t know if he’s avoiding me or just tired. I’ll find out tomorrow, I suppose. My mum acts like everything is ok no matter what. There could be a hurricane coming at the house and she would just close the curtains and say “let’s deal with it later when we’ve all calmed down”. I wanted the hurricane so badly when I was young. I should stop over thinking this. I’ve had wine. I can’t sleep. I woke up early because my eyes were all crusty and itchy and my breathing was shallow. Then I realised the pillows my mum had put on the bed were feather and I'm slightly allergic. So that wasn't the best start but like everything about Bolton, I'm slightly allergic. My mums first concern of the day was picking up a bag of compost form the local hardware place, Maher's. In my mind I hear her say, 'I need some dirt from Mars'. Which causes the first laugh of the day. She needs me to do things like this for her because my dad can no longer drive due to a stroke he had 2 years ago. Anyroad, l wait outside Maher's for my mum and a burly lad in an England shirt brings out 3 bags of compost and says to me 'where do you want this, love?'. 'In my boot, love. Where all the shit goes', I say. When my mum comes back to the car l say 'oh he was cute', mainly to test her tolerance and also because I'm an idiot. Mum simply said 'football is going home'! So when we got back to the house my dad was up and shuffling around like he does. He's interested in the camera drone l bought. He wont say anything about me being trans or call me Freda. It doesn't even bother me. The fact he wants to learn to fly a remote control camera over next doors house is much more fun in that moment. He crashes it into the tree and he shouts 'mission abort mission abort'. Yeh, that's how l feel about coming to Bolton most of the time. My dad was in the RAF as an aerial photographer. I knew he would enjoy this but he was getting all too technical for a 80 quid plastic toy off amazon. I don't know what 'triangulation of trajectory' is. I always feel like Bobby Hill in these moments (my dad was actually a salesman for Calor Gas and sold propane and propane accessories for a while). Anyway, I think he appreciates that I found something to break the ice, even if he wont say she/her or call me Freda yet. I had to get out of the house before my cousin and her children turn up. She knows all about my transition and is very supportive but l haven't seen her for 5 years and it will be the first time I've met her twin boy and girl who are 7 years old now. The main reason for getting out was to explore Bolton town centre. Somewhere I've not been for quite some time. I went to one of my old haunts, The Olde Man and Scythe which is one of the oldest pubs in England, going back to the 13th century. They used to hang traitors outside here during the Civil War. So I decided to sit out side there reading Majesty Magazine sipping a gin and tonic in the Sun. Imagine living in a time when a culture war raged and people were divided along binary political lines and everyone was expected to take a side? Just imagine! I've never felt more fully actualised as a person as when a drunken fool approaches me and says 'oh you look nice, love. Can l steal a roly off you'. Yes, I'm truly validated as a woman now. This is it! No amount of psychological counselling can top this. As l lick the cigarette paper and make eye contact with this feckless tosspiece I'm reminded of how precarious my situation is if he clocks me. Is he going to read me? No he's too enthralled by my wide staring eyes, the silly sod. My next stop was the Bolton Museum and Art Gallery. There is an Egyptian room which l love. So, naturally took some photos to align myself with Queen Nefertiti and all my delusional fantasies of being some sort of mythical goddess. The thing that interests me most about this is the cotton industry connection. In my artwork and performance staging l take a lot of influence from the industrial revolution. The fact that Egyptian cotton was instrumental in that is something that creates a timeline we are all insignificant on. Its both cosmic and visceral, esoteric and factual. Seeing those cotton spinning machines alongside the astrological ambitions of ancient kings is so centring to me. An absolute connection of Heaven and Earth. From the universe of stars to the factory floor, Everything was built on immortality ambitions of industrialists and cotton in this town. I had to come down a bit from that museum experience. Whoever is curating that needs some sort of award. I had to get ready to meet my cousin, Sarah who is just one month older than me. We have lead parallel lives . Her Mother, my dad's sister moved away down south when she met her husband. They live in Wiltshire and she was educated in a way l wasn't. I've always had memorable moments with Sarah on the rare times we have spent together over the years. In some ways she was the girl l wanted to be when l was young. I was never jealous of her or held any bitterness but l remember wishing my parents would talk to me in the same way Sarah was. It just seemed to make more sense to me how her needs were met. It might be hindsight talking but I genuinely wished all the gifts for Sarah were the gifts for me. I was getting ready in my old bedroom and just trying to make myself look normal. Not some over done drag race also-ran. I've got pretty good at doing a 'day look' but even my day look is still scraping on foundation like Polyfilla! My mum came in saying 'that dress makes you look fat'. Thanks mum. This is just my mums way of trying to be funny. She said my neck looked naked and l wasn't sure what she meant. She went off to her bedroom and came out with a string of beads that looked like snooker balls on a rope. (yes, I exaggerate for comic effect). As she was hooking the necklace to the back of my neck l was held in a moment of mother/daughter interaction that produced a tear from my eye that l just didn't want to show. Time stopped there in that moment like every time that didn't happen in the past happened then in one consolidated event of simple love and I pretended to be more annoyed that I'd have to reapply my eye liner. So I drive with my mum and dad in the car to meet Sarah, the twins and my Uncle at the restaurant in the West Pennine Moors of Bolton. Its been such a build up this moment and now there is no bottling out. I'M here, I'm Freda and they are just going to have to deal with it. I see my cousin rolling up in their 4x4 super posh child transporter and the kids get out first and run up to me and l don't know what to do when they say 'hello aunty Freda'. I know they have be briefed, l know Sarah has told them to do this but even so those words feel like gold. Sarah says I look great and l bloody-well do, to be fair. No one mentions or brings up my trans-ness and while its noted my dad is the odd one out in not calling me Freda I notice the support is on my side. One of Sarah's children whispers to the other while looking at me. I say 'are you two ok there' and they say 'we like the drawing on your arm'. Its telling that the only thing they notice about me is the tattoo. I'm sure they have more to ask in time and I'm so glad they have a mother who is relaxed and open enough to answer any questions they might have in future as they grow up. I'd like to think my presence and influence is a good one. This wasn't the big deal I'd been building it up to be but my mum continues to embarrass me with her ways. She bought Sarah and the kids a few gifts which were in the boot of my car. While she was giving out all these lovely things she said to me 'Freda, don't forget that bag of compost from mars, ill save some for you'. Thanks mum. Bye bye Sarah. Don't leave it so long next time. I Drove my parents home and said my goodbyes. My dad didn't say much, just 'be careful with the drone. if you fly too high it will go out of out control'. I know dad, l know. Freda's come home.

[aswithasunbeam]

Recovery, a Hamliza fanfic, Chapter 3 / 4

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 4

Summary: Yellow Fever was no small illness to overcome. Hamilton and Eliza head for Albany once they're deemed well enough to travel, but Eliza can't shake the feeling that something is still wrong with her husband.

She woke up alone.

When she made her way down to the breakfast table, she greeted each of her children with a kiss on their heads, but found her husband and her father absent. Kitty Schuyler made her a plate while she made her rounds. Eliza smiled and thanked her mother.

“Have you seen my husband this morning?” she asked as she started on her food.

Her mother smiled. “He disappeared into your father’s office around dawn. He said needed to work on correspondence.”

“Papa was mad,” Jamie noted from down the table.

Eliza looked over at him, surprised. Hamilton rarely lost his temper, and especially governed it around the children. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

He looked up from his plate. “Papa was mad,” he repeated. “He said he was going to get back on the ship today and go away.”

“He said he would do that only if the mayor didn’t see reason,” Philip corrected.

“Didn’t see reason?” Eliza echoed, thoroughly confused.

She glanced at her mother, and found Kitty Schuyler wearing a curiously guilty expression. “Mother?”

“Your father may have made certain…assurances…to ensure your welcome in Albany. When your husband heard, he was less than pleased.”

Eliza continued to stare at her mother, silently pressing for more.

Kitty sighed and continued, “He promised neither of you would leave the house once you arrived. Hamilton seemed to find that a violation of his rights as a citizen.”

“He said he didn’t fight a war to be a prisoner in his own family’s home,” Alex added helpfully.

Eliza looked over at her children once more. “Were all of you witness to this conversation?” she asked.

“Only me, Alex and Jamie,” Philip said.

“Wonderful,” Eliza huffed in exasperation. If Hamilton was going to go off on a rant about civil liberties, he could at least avoid doing so in front of their impressionable children.

She pushed back from the table and stood. Stalking down the hall, she pushed open the door to her father’s study without knocking. Hamilton was bent low over a sheet of paper, writing feverishly. He barely glanced up at her before going back to his work.

“Hamilton,” she demanded.

He scribbled a few more words and looked up. “Do you know what the mayor demanded? We’re practically prisoners, Eliza! I’ll not stand for it. I will go back across the river and re-enter under new terms if I must.”

“Does it really matter?” Eliza asked.

“Of course it matters!”

“You should be resting anyway, darling. You have no cause to be running around town.”

“It is the principle of the thing. I didn’t fight a war for freedom to be told I’m not permitted out of the house without the permission of a state official.”

“Hamilton,” she began.

“I will not stand for it, Eliza,” he repeated firmly. “They have no cause to act this way. We were cleared by the doctor in Philadelphia, and again before entering the city. Neither of us poses the slightest danger to society.”

Eliza hesitated. He fixed her with a pointed glare. “What?” he snapped.

“Sweetheart, you…you still seem a bit…unwell, is all. I simply worry over you,” she said, holding up her hands to placate him. “I wish you wouldn’t get so worked up so soon after your recovery.”

He softened a little, but shook his head. “It cannot stand.”

She nodded, giving up on fighting him when he was in this kind of mood. Sighing, she told him, “Come have some breakfast when you’ve finished.”

“I’m not hungry,” he replied.

“You need to eat,” Eliza urged.

He nodded vaguely, his attention already back on his work.

~*~

“General Schuyler? A messenger is at the door,” Prince announced.

“A messenger?” her father repeated. He stood slowly, wincing as he put weight on his bad foot. Eliza glanced at her husband, who was dozing in the armchair before the fire. That he was still falling asleep in the middle of the day concerned her, but he gave a little snuffle that made her smile fondly.  

Moments later, her father returned, carrying a letter. He had that erect bearing and proud grin that told her something had reminded him of his son-in-law’s prestigious position. Sure enough, he held up the letter as soon as he was fully in the room and said, “A message for Secretary Hamilton from the President of the United States.”

Hamilton opened his eyes and sat up, rubbing his hand over his face. “How did he even know I was here?” he mumbled, still half asleep.

“I’m sure he knew you’d make your way up here soon enough,” Philip answered, limping forward to put the letter in his hand. “Government business never stops.”

“I wish it would,” Hamilton muttered, staring down at the letter.

Eliza’s head shot up from her mending. She’d never heard him voice a desire to leave his position out loud before. She saw her father standing beside him, looking equally startled.

“Now, son, I know public service can be trying at times,” Philip began, voice soft.

Hamilton laughed derisively. “Trying?” he repeated. “I work fourteen hours a day trying to repair the financial state of our nation. In return I receive no gratitude, no appreciation. I’m hardly compensated enough to feed my family.”

“Son,” her father repeated, looking lost for words.

Hamilton glanced up and Eliza saw realization pass over his face, as though he hadn’t known he’d been speaking aloud. He shook his head. “My apologies, sir. I was…talking nonsense. I’m just tired.” He stood abruptly. “I should go read this.”

Her father met her eyes when Hamilton left the room.

Eliza placed her mending down and stood. “I’m going to speak to him.”

She followed his path from the parlor to the office and watched him pacing the floor, clenching the letter in his hand.

“Is everything all right?” Eliza asked.

Hamilton started and plastered on a smile. “Oh, yes. The president is just asking for advice on a constitutional question.”

Eliza nodded, stepped fully into the office, and closed the door behind her. “What sort of advice?” she asked.

He paused in his pacing. With a sigh, he held the letter out to her. “Go ahead,” he urged.

Eliza scanned the message, her heart sinking. The president was looking for a way to call the government back together. He wanted everyone to meet in Pennsylvania once more, preferably in Germantown as Philadelphia was still overrun with the fever. Washington was asking her husband to advise him on the constitutionality of the President calling for the government to assemble somewhere other than the capital.

“It’s not constitutional, right?” Eliza asked.

Hamilton shrugged.

“No. Everyone will just have to wait until the fever abates in Philadelphia,” she said. He wasn’t ready for another long journey. He certainly wasn’t ready to go back to government work.

“When did you become such a constitutional scholar?” he asked with a teasing smile. “I helped write it and I couldn’t answer so quickly.”

Eliza shook her head, refusing to let him distract her. “You can’t go back yet.”

“Can’t I?”

“You’re not well,” she snapped. Closing her eyes, she fought down her temper and added in a more measured tone, “You need to rest and recover. A long trip wouldn’t be good for you right now.”

A long pause followed.

“I’ve been thinking about resigning,” he said in a whisper, as though confessing a great secret. She felt horribly conflicted, torn between the reaction she should have, and the reaction she wanted to have. Truly, she’d love for him to resign. She hated the long hours and the stress and the constant attacks that came with his position.

She forced herself to be the dutiful, republican wife. “Darling, you’ve just recovered from a terrible illness. Now isn’t the time to be making these kinds of decisions.”

“I was thinking about it before I got sick,” he told her. “Getting sick just made the decision seem more obvious. We spend so much time apart, Betsey. So much. And the first time you stayed by my side, you nearly died. I don’t know what I’d do if you died.”

“Honey,” she tried to interrupt him.

“ Do you know what that man wanted? The other day, on the sloop?” She shook her head. “He wanted to talk about how my bank is corrupting the souls of America. And then he had the audacity to inquire what I thought was a proper price for bank script! I…I don’t even remember why I’m doing this anymore.”

Eliza took two steps further into the room and wrapped him in an embrace. She could feel him trembling in her arms. “You are creating a strong, stable country to pass on to our children. You are founding a nation that will revere your name. That’s what you’re doing.”

He nodded a little against her.

“And if you want to stop, I will still love you every bit as much as I do right now.”

He pulled away and gave her a weak smile. “Thank you,” he said with a reverence she’d never heard in his voice before. He sniffled lightly, then held up the letter he was still clutching in his hands. “I should answer this.”

“Right,” she said, easing her hold on him. He stepped over to the desk, and she asked curiously, “Is it constitutional? Ordering the government to assemble somewhere other than the capital?”

“Oh, not even remotely.”

“So you’ll have time to rest?” she said, nearly sighing with relief.

“No.” He laughed when he saw her look of confusion. “He can’t order the government to meet somewhere else, but there is no harm in his recommending it.”

“Doesn’t that amount to the same thing, just worded slightly differently?”

“It’s called lawyering, darling. I do it professionally,” he grinned. He seemed rejuvenated somehow, as though her permission to stop had spurred him to recommit himself.

Well done, she berated herself as she left him to write his letter. She’d just convinced him to do the very thing she’d been begging him not to do when she’d followed him into the office.

~*~

Eliza looped some thread around her finger, held it before her to measure, and then cut it to the proper length. She had to squint in the firelight to thread the needle, but she managed it after only one false start. Just as she was about to begin the next section of the handkerchief she was embroidering, she heard her father’s heavy boots in the hall.

Hamilton looked up from the book he was reading in the armchair across from her. “General,” he greeted Philip Schuyler with a smile.

Her father looked uncomfortable. He inclined his head slightly, and he closed the door to the parlor behind him. “I need to speak to you both.”

“What is it, Papa?” Eliza asked.

“I’ve given it some consideration, and I cannot allow you to take the children with you when you leave this week.”

Eliza’s eyes widened. He wouldn’t allow them to take their children? Had he gone mad? She looked over to Hamilton to see his expression had gone tense as well. His voice was low and falsely calm when he asked, “What do you mean, sir?”

Sensing their mood, her father held up his hands and forced a smile. “I’m only thinking of you and them. You know how much I adore you all.”

Neither of them said anything in response, so he continued. He fixed his gaze on Hamilton and said, “Son, you’re not well.”

“I have been assured by two physicians that I’m no longer contagious and that I’m fit to travel,” Hamilton retorted immediately.

Philip nodded. “I’m sure they were correct that you are no longer in danger,” he assured. “But I can tell you’re still feeling under the weather. The trip to New York and then on to wherever the government will be meeting will be long and difficult. Many areas are still teeming with the fever. Do you not think it safer, for their health and yours, for them to stay here? They will be protected from the fever and neither of you will need to overexert yourselves caring for them.”

Hamilton met her eyes, silently seeking her opinion. Eliza sighed as she considered her father’s argument. He was right, she decided. Hamilton was still obviously unwell, and they were both to be traveling back into the heart of the epidemic. She held his gaze and nodded once.

Her husband’s shoulders sagged a little as he looked back at her father. “You’re right, sir. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Eliza and the children should stay here.”

“What? No,” she argued immediately. “I’m going with you.”

“It’s too dangerous. You had fever in the first place because I didn’t wish to part from you. I would never forgive myself if you became ill again because of me. You should stay here where it’s safe.”

“I’m going with you,” she repeated. “How do you think I would feel, if you became worse on your own in the city?”

“Eliza—.” He began.

“There’s no point arguing,” she cut him off. “We will leave on Thursday as planned, and the children will remain here a bit longer, until it’s safe for them to follow.”

A little smile quirked his lips. “Our wedding was some time ago, so it’s a little difficult to recall. Was it not you who made the promise to obey me?”

She stared hard at him, utterly unamused.

“I’ve always thought that should be the other way round, myself,” her father added with a chuckle.

“It would be more honest, certainly,” Hamilton remarked. The smile was still on his lips. “We’ll do as you say, my dearest. I have little hope of convincing you to remain if you do not wish to.”

“I do not wish for my husband to work himself to death while I remain in the comfort of my family home,” she said sternly.

“Very well. You’ll come with me to watch me work myself to death up close.”

She glared at him.

He laughed. “I’m just teasing, my angel.”

“I don’t find your health to be a laughing matter,” Eliza told him.

“Nor I yours,” he replied. “So you will continue to place yourself in harm’s way for my benefit, and I will continue to resist you. I believe that is the marker of a good marriage.”  

At last, she gave him a tiny smile in return.

~*~

Their children saw them off with red eyes and mournful faces.

“It’s just for a little while,” Eliza assured them. “Just while everything gets settled. Then we’ll all be together.”

None of them looked cheered.

She was giving Johnny a face full of kisses when she saw her father lean in to speak to her husband. Philip Schuyler placed a hand on Hamilton’s shoulder and whispered, “The work you do for the country is vital, and very much appreciated by every reasonable citizen in this nation.”

“I know, sir. I was just tired and… emotionally overwrought from the illness, I suppose. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Her father shook his head. “I would hate to see you give up your position and the good work you are doing,” he continued. Hamilton nodded quickly and opened his mouth to respond, but her father held up a hand. “But I want you to know, you have my full support and constant affection, whatever you decide.” Her husband’s eyes went bright.

Her father patted him on the back firmly, then turned to her with a wide smile. “Have a safe journey, my beloved child,” he wished, embracing her.

She kissed each of her children once more, then allowed Hamilton to assist her into the coach. He was stepping up himself when his foot slipped. He caught himself on the door and placed a hand to his temple as though he’d been suddenly overcome with vertigo. All the color had drained from his face.

“Hamilton,” she cried, sliding over and reaching out for him.

He smiled weakly. “I’m all right,” he whispered. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince her or himself.

As the coach bumped down the road away from her childhood home, she was overcome with a horrible sense of foreboding. This was a terrible idea.

[fireandneurosurgery-blog]

Now That’s What I Call A View || Bobbi and Leo

Bobbi and Leo have a house warming party for Bobbi’s new apartment.

tw marijuana & smut

Bobbi looked at the shelves full of wine before pulling down a bottle of red and a bottle of white, “Should we get some vodka or do you think we’ll be okay with just the wine?” She smiled sweetly at Leo and batted her eyelashes playfully. Browsing through the aisles she pulled down some snacks and even considered getting some port. Her parents drank port with their stuffy work friends, and Bobbi was a qualified neurosurgeon, she knew boring and yet her parents friends were still just beyond that. “You can decide, I think you’ll know this best.” She smiled sweetly and pulled out some drachmas. “It is still so weird that everything is done with coins, I miss notes.”

Leo made a gesture to her, asking if she wanted him to take the bottles. “I mean, even if we don’t drink the vodka today, it just means that you have it for a later date.” His taste in alcohol had changed a bit from what he enjoyed in high school to now. He still loved his fruity drinks, but he also enjoyed things like whiskey and wine now. He plucked a nice bottle of vodka out for them, bringing it over to her. “This one is pretty smooth. It’s pretty good.” He laughed,“You’ll get used to it. When I first went into the mortal world, I had no idea why you all used paper money. Paper has no real value behind it.”

Raising an eyebrow gently, Bobbi looked at the bottle of vodka critically before placing it in her basket along with the bottles of wine. Heading over to the cashier, she handed over a stack of drachmas before accepting her alcohol in a paper bag. “Come on, lets get this party started,” she giggled, half dancing out of the shop, elation filling her as she shimmied towards her apartment. She’d never thought that she would feel this happy to see someone and yet at the same time she couldn’t help but feel like she was the luckiest person in the world. New Rome was gorgeous, she was around other people like her, for the first time ever she felt completely safe and to make everything even better she was once more reunited with Leo. Someone who was unquestionably the love of her life. As she slid the keys into her apartment door, she slipped into her sparsely decorated accommodation and pulled down two wine glasses from what she’d already managed to pack. “Red or white first?” she asked playfully.”

Leo laughed as she danced out,“I’ve missed you.” He really had, his chest hurt remembering how much he had missed her. “I’ve missed you and your silly dancing too.” He simply just wanted to hold her hand at that moment, she was so adorable. He wanted to dance with her. He wanted to do anything and everything with her. Leo could spend the rest of his life just watching her dance. He looked over her apartment, and wanted to liven it up automatically. “You need more art on your walls. It’s good for the soul.” He thought it over quickly,”White.”

Her curls bouncing as she danced about, Bobbi spun and smiled brightly at Leo. “I’ve missed you too, I’ve missed having someone to dance for.” Andrew had never really got the dancing. He was sweet but he’d never seen the charm in it. Leo adored everything that she did and she found herself adoring everything that he was. It was just the way that they worked with one another. “Well, it is a good thing that I know a very good artist who can fill my walls up with original works.” She smiled brightly and poured them both glasses of white wine before passing one over to Leo. Shimming over to her record player, she pulled a record down from her collection and placed it on the player. “The Smiths are the best day dancing music that we’ve got available, so think yourself lucky that I’m treating you to the best.”

Leo knew that she had missed him, but still, hearing it out loud made his heart skip a beat. It had only been a little while she was back in his life and he already couldn’t imagine it without her. “With me you will always have someone to dance for.” He promised quietly and with a soft smile. Looked the walls over and nodded. “I think there are a few pieces I have that would look nice with what you have already. If you wanted, you could come by my studio sometime and look for stuff you like.” The idea of having Bobbi own his art was exciting and he wanted her to have the best stuff. He lifted his glass to her a bit,“Let’s toast to you being here, to the Smiths, and to your amazing dance moves.”

Swaying to the sound of Girlfriend in a Comma, Bobbi spun around and ‘accidentally’ bumped into Leo, laying her head against his chest, she took a sip of her wine and enjoyed being enveloped in his presence once more. “Well, you know that I would love to come by and choose everything, but you’d better limit me otherwise you won’t have anything left.” In the good old days she’d spent hours doing work in preparation for college whilst Leo just sat and drew, or painted, or did something. “Let’s toast to the fact that we’re back together, let’s toast to our apartments and to happy accidents.” She clinked her glass against Leo’s and smiled brightly before drinking a large mouthful of wine. She planned on getting quite drunk, not that that was really saying much because she didn’t exactly drink very often.

The feeling of Bobbi’s hand on his chest left him feeling warm in ways he hadn’t in years. She wasn’t a fever dream, every time she touched him it reproved it for him. Leo swayed a bit, sipping his wine, but resisted the urge to join her just yet. He wanted to watch her dance for a bit first. “Take whatever you want. I’ll make more.” He probably shouldn’t promise that considering that he has clients and patrons that wanted their art, but he wanted to give Bobbi everything she deserved. Which was everything. “I’ll drink to that.” He grinned and took a large sip of his wine. “Should I get ready to pour you another glass?” He teased.

Twirling to the music, Bobbi laughed to herself. She’d always been kind of weird. As a kid she had done weird things, pretended to talk to fish, claimed that there was a man with one eye at her school and stuff like that. In high school she’d done her best to repress it, as most teenagers often do. However, she’d never managed to lose it and to this very day she would still enjoy herself in whatever manner she possibly could. “Oh, well I’ll keep you to that promise,�� she said with a bright giggle as she finished what was left of her wine, “Well, since you’ve offered I think that it would be downright rude to say no.” She held out her empty glass, doing her best not to sway. She’d never been good at holding her drink, and she was pretty sure that she was tipsy.

There was nothing better than hearing Bobbi’s laughs and giggles. They were quite honestly the brightest sound in the entire world, or at least they were to Leo. In high school he had tried to make her laugh everyday, and suddenly, he was filled with the need to make her laugh everyday she spent in New Rome. “You can have whatever you want from me,” He told her sincerely. “Paintings or anything else.” He hadn’t been able to give himself to her fully when she moved to New York, he couldn’t leave his siblings to his father’s mercy. Now, with her here, he could. He let out a laugh at her swaying,“It looks like I have to catch up with you.” He poured her drink, and took a long sip of his own before topping it off.

Some of her best memories of high school were of being tipsy with Leo, the better ones were of being high with him. “You’ve got weed right?” Bobbi asked playfully before bursting into another fit of giggles and pulling Leo towards her. “Well, right now I want you to dance with me, we can work out the other stuff later, but for now we can dance.” She pulled him close and wrapped her arms around him, holding herself as close to him as she could. She could smell his aftershave and deodorant, she could sense him right there next to her and if she listened carefully with her ear pressed to his chest she was sure that she could hear his heartbeat.” Placing her wine glass on the side, she smiled and hummed quietly along to the melody of the song.

Leo let out a laugh,“Of course, I have weed. I always have weed.” That wasn’t even a lie. Ever since he had been introduced to it, he had it on him pretty constantly. He didn’t get high everyday, though he was certainly a stoner. Leo just appreciated the feeling of being both high and sober. “Do you want to smoke?” He asked, before she wrapped her arms around him. He held her as close as he could, savoring the feeling of her being right there. “Then we can dance. We can dance as long as you want to dance.” He pressed a kiss into her hair, then pressed his cheek against the top of her head, savoring the sweet moment they were having.

Maybe it wasn’t something he shouldn’t boast, but having weed on him all the time had come in handy more than once. Leo could never be sure that there wouldn’t be a situation that called for it somewhere. “That was a good time you have to admit,” Bobbi had been his best friend before his girlfriend, so once someone had introduced him to weed, he had to introduce her. Best friends don’t not offer weed to their friends. “Want a joint or are you feeling something else?” Leo usually smoked joints, though he owned a few glass pieces to change it up. It felt like time stopped when she kissed him. He let her lead, his kiss back soft and patient. He didn’t want to push her.

“A very good time,” Bobbi agreed peacefully, finally starting to feel content with her lot in life. Perhaps for the first time in ten years since she had left Leo behind at the airport and flown across the country, “I’m not the expert. You choose.” Hardly true, she had done a good chunk of her doctorate on the use of Marijuana as a pain treatment in cancer patients and other forms of terminal illness. Pulling away from the kiss, she twirled over to the record player and pulled an album by the Cure down, placing it on the spindle, she set the needle and watched it turn. “Have you got a balcony too?” she asked looking at the small patio that jutted off of the side of her building.

Leo smiled at the memory, it was easily one of his favorites. Most of his favorite memories included the woman who was in his arms at that moment. She had brought a brightness in his life he hadn’t even realize he was missing. “I have rolling paper with me, so might as well just do a joint. Just so I don’t have to go to my apartment to grab anything.” He watched her twirl over to the record player with a look of adoration over his face. He’d missed her so much. He vaguely wondered if this is what New York would have been like. “I do. Couldn’t go without it, I wanted to be able sit there and drink my coffee. And smoke, of course.”

Pushing the doors to her balcony open, Bobbi breezed out of the doors and into the open air. The snow kept falling and Bobbi watched it as Leo rolled the joint. It was interesting watching him work. “I feel like I’m in high school all over again,” she replied with a giggle. The look of concentration that took over him as he started rolling was truly something else and she was always impressed by the joints that he rolled for her. As he worked she poured them the last of the white wine and flicked the heater that she kept on her balcony on. It had originally been for something else, but she’d jerry rigged it so she wouldn’t get cold here in the morning, grabbing a stack of blankets she set them on the table along with their wine before wrapping one around herself and slipping onto one of the sofas that was kept out here. “I’ve always wanted one, they’d never have them in New York but this seems to be the city of my dreams, its brought you back to me and its given me a balcony.”

His fingers gently did their work as she watch, his eyebrows furrowed a bit in concentration. Leo let out a little laugh,“Watching me roll right after I got out of practice?” Leo had been a part of both the soccer and lacrosse team, which meant a good majority of his afternoons were spent at practice. He glanced out at the snow with a smile before finishing the joint. “I love it when it snows here. I love the snow.” He handed it to her before pulling a blanket around himself as well. He sat next to her and offered her a lighter. “The perfect mix of things you’d want in a city?” He asked curiously.

Bobbi had spent most of high school doing extra curriculars after school. She swum on the school team, but that was as far as it went in terms of sports. But extra credit was a thing that she was deeply into and they’d always hang out for a bit before returning home once they’d done their various activities. She remembered them sitting underneath the bleachers with a joint, like the world’s greatest cliche. “Those were some of my favourite moments,” she took the lighter off of him delicately and a painted thumb struck the flint several times,” watching the lighter spark and finally ignite, she smirked and nodded, “the perfect balance of perfect and not so perfect.” She looked below her at the dirty snow, it seemed so different to the pure white snow on the rooftops opposite her and yet she couldn’t help but see the beauty in both. Taking a long drag on the joint, she allowed the smoke to fill her lungs before exhaling a cloud from her nose and mouth. She watched it form and float away, a smile drifting across her lips.

On the days Leo didn’t have practice, he was either at art club or in one of the art studio rooms. His teachers saw pretty quickly how talented he was and so he had ended up with a key to the studio space, only after he promised not to use it for anything that wasn’t art. Even though it had been so tempting to drag Bobbi in there with him, Leo respected the studio too much to break that promise. “Do you remember when at the beginning I tried to hide that I was high from Cat and Jax? I’m pretty sure they knew the first time we smoke under those bleachers.” He was their big brother and therefore didn’t want them to know, at least not right away, that he had snuck off with his girlfriend after practices to smoke. Especially on the days he made them late because of it. “It grows on you.” He said softly, looking at his secret home city. He loved it in New Rome, more than any other city he had ever seen. He laughed,“You look like a dragon right now.”

Laughter bubbled out from between her lips and she threw her head back in joy. “Of course I remember. You tried to wear sunglasses even though it was getting dark. I don’t know what was funnier, Jax working out what you’d done or Cat gently hinting at it even though she hadn’t seen whether she was right or not.” Bobbi smiled peacefully, memories like this were what kept her going and she wasn’t willing to give up on a single one of them. She’d never forget high school and there wasn’t a single doubt within her that it was the best time of her life. Throwing her head back she exhaled another thick white cloud of smoke and shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, I’ve always wanted to be a fire breathing lizard, you’re so sweet for saying.” She giggled and passed the joint over to him. “This is nice,” she admitted, watching the snow tumble in front of them.

His shoulder nudged her’s,“To be fair, my eyes were so bloodshot I had to do something. Thank god, I learned to bring eye drops to school with me. Though, it didn’t help that I was laughing at everything they said.” Leo liked to laugh when he was high, though he also liked to laugh when he was sober, so there wasn’t much of a benchmark for the difference in his behavior. He was still relatively functional high, which did him well considering how many times he’s been high in front of his family. He took the joint from her, and took a large hit, blowing smoke rings as he exhaled. He wanted to look cool for her. “I’m glad I finally helped you realize your dream. I’ll have to get you a dragon scale necklace just so the look is complete.” He smiled,“Fun fact, I’ve always wanted to sit in the snow with you.”

Raising an eyebrow gently, Bobbi giggled as the high started to set in. Once upon a time she could match Leo joint for joint, but being so previously busy with work she had never been able to keep up the tourism. “Well, when you smoke as much as we did for your first time ever then your eyes are going to be bloodshot, my brothers had to sneak me in through the back of the house because they realised what had happened straight away. They’ve never let me forget it. Watching him blow smoke rings, she slipped back in her chair and giggled. The entire world was very fluffy and she couldn’t find herself caring. Smiling back to him, Bobbi smiled once more. “I’m glad that you helped me too, I’m just lucky that I’ve got someone like you to help me realise that.” She sat back and raised an eyebrow as she realised what he was saying. “Wait, Dragons are real?!” gobsmacked she slipped back into the chair and found herself smiling at his comment. “That is the sweetest thing I’ve heard all day Leo,” she reached out and slipped her hand into his.

Contrary to popular belief, Leo rarely smoked weed while he was painting. He didn’t like to think that the paints might be mixing with the paint, he worried it would change the composition of the actual paint. However, he did often smoke before or after a painting, as long as he was in the room over and the smoke wouldn’t hit the drying paint. “They saved your ass that day, though I was pretty sure for a while that they were gonna kick mine for getting you high. Your brothers are a bit scary at times.” He had faced monsters and wars, but Bobbi’s family was scarier to him. He had to impress them. He took a long hit, exhaling the smoke slowly, before passing back to her. “I’ll always be there to push you to your full potential,” He teased, but paused trying to word it correctly,“Yeah, but Drakons are the ones you have to worry about.” He mentally added a beastry to his list of needed items for her. He squeezed her hand,“It’s just the truth. I always thought it wouldn’t happen.”

Bobbi had always loved having three older brothers. She wasn’t sure what it was, the five year age difference between her and her youngest brother meant that they had all been much more tolerant with her than most siblings. But their constant protection (whether or not she wanted it) and care for her had always made her feel safe, at least until she discovered that there was a world full of mythological gods, giants, monsters and heroes. Suddenly three linebackers didn’t seem so intimidating. “Yes, I was fortunate that they were so kind with me.” She assumed that it was because they’d all been through their own escapades with weed when they were younger. “I think it actually bought some respect,” she suggested with a smile, “even if they did try and kick your ass.” She had asked them not to, insisting it had been her idea (which was far from the truth but she was responsible for her own actions). Gently taking the joint from him, she took another long drag and allowed the smoke to circle above her. “Well, I’m lucky to have you.” Shifting her legs off the floor and underneath her, Bobbi took a breath and stared into the snow. “As long as Drakons don’t turn up, I think that we can just enjoy this bucket-list-fulfilling moment.

Leo liked Bobbi’s older brothers, and he certainly respected them, but he had always been nervous been around them. He wasn’t exactly the person most people would imagine would be with Bobbi, at least he didn’t think he was. Andrew was someone he imagined with Bobbi, though he knew that was because he was in a field more people found respectful. “I didn’t want to have to pretend to let your brothers beat me up.” He laughed, pretty confident that even as a young teen they wouldn’t have done too much damage. He looked over at her, trying to memorize how she looked. He wanted to paint her like this. “I think we have plenty of time to hit more bucket list moments to come as well.”

“Yes well I pointed out to them that I was more than capable of making my own decisions and it wasn’t as if you exactly forced the smoke down my throat,” Bobbi gave him a dazzling smile and considered what her life would be like if she were to live without Leo. No one had ever seemed to understand why she loved him so much, but she’d known why she’d loved him since the beginning. It was the fierce kindness and selflessness in his eyes. It was the way his beard grew back in when it was shaved off. It was the way that he looked at a canvas as he painted. These were the reasons that she’d never fallen in love with someone other than Leo, and she’d never fallen out of love with him either. Pulling the blanket off of her shoulders, she took a second drag of the joint before crossing the distance between them. Sliding her knees past his hips, she sat on his lap, looking straight into his eyes. Tapping ash off the end of the joint she leaned forward and kissed him. “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispered.

Leo let out a full laugh,”That’s why I love y-“ He fit himself off with a blush, realizing the drinking and the smoking we’re getting to him. “You’ve always been so self assured and you never let other people put their ideas on you.” He glances away from her, feeling tentative about what he just said. He was so scared of forcing her into something she didn’t want. She had kissed him, a few times now, but he worried that it wasn’t love she was looking for. And he was okay with that, as long as he got to hold her. Once she was in his lap, his hand automatically fell to her hips, though once he realized he shifted them up to her waist. In between the kisses, Leo whispered,”I thought about you everyday.”

Looking him straight in the eye, Bobbi face cracked into a wide smile. “I love you too,” she said leaning in and kissing him as smoked streamed out of her nose. “I’ve always known exactly what it was that I wanted,” she replied, decisiveness was never something she’d struggled with. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against him, her fingers running down his chest and her fingers dancing over his muscular chest and abs. “I missed you everyday that you weren’t with me,” she replied quietly, “I never loved Andrew either,” she whispered, “never in the same way as you. You’ve been my first and only love, I don’t think I’d find someone that I care for as much as you.”

The grin and look of dumbstruck joy he had on his face probably made him look like an idiot. Leo didn’t care if he looked like an idiot, the confirmation of her feelings was something he hadn’t thought he’d get for a while. “If you say that enough times, I might react like I did the last time.” He said lightly, thinking of how he had cried the first time she had said those word to him. The emotion in his throat threatened it anyway. “That’s part of how I fell in love with you. You were unapologetic about what you wanted and it was so refreshing and inspiring.” Bobbi was part of the reason Leo finally admitted he wanted to be an artist as a career path. As her finger re-explored his chest and abs, one hand traced lightly against her side. “I had to stop myself from calling you everyday. You were my biggest what if.” He admitted. Bobbi set Leo on fire in a way no other person had ever had. He kissed her neck softly,“I couldn’t find anyone that was enough like you to date. I was trying to replace you, but you are irreplaceable.”

Smirking gently, Bobbi’s fingers left his chest for a moment to run a finger over his jawline, down his chin and down the center of his stomach. Her finger lingered above the top of his trousers, running over his hips and gently stroking across his waistline. “I hate it when you cry, even if you’re happy when you do it, you’ve got the most perfect face and I hate it when it creases with negative emotions.” She remembered the first time that they had admitted it to one another, she had felt her heart swell with pain as tears trickled down his face and she knew she’d never be happy if he wasn’t. At least not if they were together. “I’ve tried to be patient with you,” she whispered in his ear, “now I need you to take me right here on this balcony or I’ll go back to New York and never come back. If sitting in the snow was one of your life long dreams I can’t imagine what fucking in the snow will be like.”

Focusing on both what Bobbi was saying and what her hands were doing were turning out more difficult than Leo was expecting. She overwhelmed him in a way he had never been before he had met her. It was a wonderful feeling. His thumb rubbed against her side, soothingly. “It’s happy tears I promise. I’m an unfortunately emotional person, was never able to grow out of that.” He couldn’t imagine how he wouldn’t cry on their wedding day, if they got there. Thinking about marrying Bobbi got him emotional in a way he couldn’t explain. He nodded mutely, staring up at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. “You riding me in the snow is something I have dreamed of.” His hands began to pull off her shirt, lips peppering kisses up her neck.

His fingers were practiced enough to make quick work of her blouse, slipping it off her as soon as he could. Leo loved boobs, Leo loved Bobbi’s boobs, which was probably part of the reason he started calling her Boobi. One of his large hands moved to cup her breast through her bra, as the other snaked behind her to start undoing the clasp. It was pretty clear that Leo was far better at this than he had been in his younger years. It used to take him forever to get her out of her bra. “That we have in common, your passion drove me to do better in the things I love.” Bobbi had always lit something in Leo that no other person could and he was already extremely turned on. Leo closed his eyes at her last sentence and whispered to her,“Bobbi, I need you to get out of your pants right now or I might rip them off of you and I really don’t want to ruin pants that make your ass look that good.”

“I’m glad that I was the one that drove you onto bigger and better things,” Bobbi replied in a tense whisper as Leo began to play and tease her breasts, his fingers leaving her nipples hard and tense as she peppered kisses down Leo’s chest, biting his nipple playfully before slipping off of his lap and pulling her skinny jeans off her slender legs. Honestly buying Jeans that made her ass look good was a real struggle, mainly because she had such a big ass. But these jeans had been selected for that exact reason. Wearing nothing but a black thong and a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, she pulled Leo’s trousers down so that they sat along his ankles before kissing down his chest. Her lips stopped on each of his abs before moving onto the next one, settling above his member before she took it in his mouth, sucking playfully on the end of it as she slowly began to take more of it into her mouth. Pulling away for air she looked up at him and smiled. “I know your more of a boob man than an ass man, but it is nice to know that you appreciate me regardless.”

Leo had a reply on his lips, but he completely forgot what he was even going to say when her teeth teased his nipple. He watched her with heavy lidded eyes and he was sure watching Bobbi taking off her pants was probably the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his life. Well, Bobbi was the sexiest woman he’d ever seen, so it did make sense. “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” He whispered to her, his voice husky. His eyes closed as her lips touched his abs, savoring the feeling of her plush lips against his skin. His hand gathered as much of her hair as he could, trying to keep it out of her face. He moaned quietly as she took him in her mouth, resisting the urge to push deeper into her. “I think… When it comes to you, I appreciate everything.”

Taking more and more of him in her mouth, Bobbi held as much of his member in her mouth as she could possibly manage before allowing his now throbbing dick to slip out of her mouth. Grasping it with her hand, she leaned forward and kissed Leo, one of her hands taking his and pressing it against her crotch, “You’re only saying that because we’re fucking,” she teased, “or at least we soon will be.” She kissed him again, their lips colliding and snow pouring around them. She was high, she was drunk and she didn’t care. This was something she needed, it was something she’d wanted for so long and now he was here with her she couldn’t get enough of him. “I’m glad that you appreciate everything,” she whispered to him once more, a hand toying with one of her nipples as she kissed him, “because I’ve missed you and your hands so much.”

Leo wasn’t sure what god he pleased enough to be given the opportunity to fuck Bobbi on a balcony while the snow was falling, but he thanked them with every fiber of his being. He grinned when she took his hand and guided it where she wanted. He rubbed against her slowly through her panties, teasing her with how slow he was going. “You’re the most beautiful woman everyday, Boob. Even when you wake up in the morning and your hair’s all messy. Especially then.” Was Leo the type to get really sappy during sex? Yes, he was. He bite her lip, tugging at the delicate skin slightly. He wanted to ask her if she thought of him when she fucked Andrew, but pushed down the possessive side of himself. “What else have you missed about me, baby?” He asked his voice low, as his other hand went to her breast and he began to roll her nipple between his fingers.

Gasping in response to Leo’s touch, Bobbi threw her head back and groaned. His fingers seemed to know exactly the right places to brush, maybe it was just because she hadn’t been intimate with someone that she truly cared for in such a long time that now that she was finally back with Leo everything seemed to be better than it had ever been before. “I’m nowhere near as beautiful as you,” she replied with a smirk before she kissed him passionately, biting his lip gently and leaning forward. “I’ve missed everything,” she moaned, her hand grabbing his member and massaging it, “I need you,” she moaned, guiding him up as she leaned forward, shifting her underwear out the way, she slid him up inside of her and let out a low moan of pleasure as she felt him fill her. “Fuck,” she groaned.

Leo’s head tipped back as she lowered herself onto him, somehow just the pure fact that it was Bobbi made this so much better for him. His thumb moved to her clit, brushing against it as he moved to nibble against her shoulder and collarbone. He rocked his hips slightly, desperate for her to start moving. His other hand squeezed and teased her nipple, hoping to get her to cum before he did. “You missed my cock inside you?” His voice was a low and gravely, far different from his typical. He paused suddenly looking up at Bobbi in a moment of concern,“Wait, Bobbi, are you on birth control?” He was sure she was, but he had to make sure. Her career probably couldn’t afford a kid right now.

Bobbi arched her back in pleasure for a moment as she settled onto Leo’s cock, it sat inside of her for a moment before she began to rock herself back and forth, lifting herself slowly up and down, moving  faster and faster as she slid him further and further inside of her. Holding her thong to one side, she groaned in pleasure as Leo played with her clit. “I’ve missed it so much,” she moaned as another wave of pleasure enveloped her, “I’ve missed your big cock inside me.” She kissed him until he pulled away, the concern in his eyes was what she’d missed. Andrew probably did love her, but she was never sure if it was because of her looks, her job or something else. Leo had loved her before she’d gotten any of those, she’d always known it and that made things seem more genuine. “Don’t worry,” she said, placing a single finger on his lips to shush him, rocking back on his cock she kissed him, “I’m on birth control.”

Leo moved the hand that was previously entertaining her breast to her ass, giving the round cheek a light spank. He groaned into their kiss, the feeling of Bobbi around him absolutely delicious. “Show me how much you missed it, babe. Fuck me like you mean it,” He growled to her, thumb circling her clit faster. As much as he loved Bobbi, and eventually wanted kids, the thought of them right now terrified him. “Oh, thank the gods. I couldn’t handle babies right now,” he was truly thankful that he didn’t have to really worry about a pregnancy scare coming from this. He kissed her back hard as the snow was beginning to be blown a bit into them, landing in both of their hair.

Riding his cock harder and harder, Bobbi was almost breathless from the effort that it took for her to fuck Leo this hard. Her whole body was in a near constant state of pleasure as he simultaneously rubbed her clit and continuously planted his cock against her G spot. Moaning into a kiss Bobbi breathlessly pulled away for a second, her hips still gyrating furiously. “Is that good enough for you baby?” She asked as she moaned, feeling an orgasm come over her, she rode him hard and held him close as she came, kissing him furiously and biting his lip at its peak. “Fuck,” she gasped as she continued to move up and down on his member, “I haven’t been fucked like that before.” She smirked gently as she planted a kiss on his lips.

Bobbi fucking him like this had Leo’s head spinning. He knew the end was in sight, tension building up in his belly. He stared up at her, watching the movement of her tits particularly. He leaned forward instead of answering her, catching a nipple in his mouth. He sucked lightly before swirled his tongue around the peak. Pulling back he placed a kiss against her sternum, breathlessly answering,“Fuck, Bobbi. You’re doing so well.” He keeps his eyes open, though they protested, when Bobbi rode out her orgasm. He wanted to sear into his memory how she looked as she came. “I’m going to cum, baby.” He warned her, his hand shifting to grasp her hips as he groaned again.

As she kept moving, Bobbi couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips as Leo toyed with her pert nipples. Ecstasy rushing around her body as her orgasm faded, with a moan of pleasure she kissed him and kept moving. “Cum for me baby,” she moaned, “come on, fill me up.” A free hand cupped Leo’s cheek while she kept riding, her hips slamming against his over and over again.

Leo’s hands gripped her hips tighter as she rode him hard, fingertips pressing into her soft flesh. He bite her lip, but let go to let out a moan. He thrusted up, burying himself fully in her as he groaned loudly, his own orgasm hitting him. His eyes shut as he came deep in her, stomach muscles tight. Finally, his body relaxed, hands moving to rub her hips where his fingers pressed in. “Fuck, Bobbi. I don’t think I’ve had sex like that before.” He finally opened his eyes, looking up at her with a sloppy grin. His hands rubbed up her sides,“I missed you riding me.”

[attempted-writing]

a day well spent

fandom: Homestuck setting: Earth C summary: Dave and Karkat spend the day together warnings: food, under age drinkin(?), a tonne of fluff pairings: davekat word counter: 3715 author notes: my second fic, sorry it took so long. korina is a kind of wood and i thought it would fit as a name for a background character. also, thanks to @ejusticeonthenet for helping me name the story

A gentle voice softly sounded in the bedroom as Dave woke up his boyfriend. Karkat slowly opened an eye as he saw sunlight drip though the crack between the curtains before burying his head in the fluff of the bed again. “MORNIN DAVE” a dry voice came from somewhere between the sheets. “mornin? Dude, its 1:35” the troll now sat up in bed and got distracted for a moment. He knew his boyfriend sat next to him on the bed but he didn’t count on him being that close to him and it left him flustered for a moment. After feeling himself go red in the face he said “SO? ITS NOT LIKE THER’S SOMETHING HAPPENING TODAY” Dave looked at him with a sly grin after seeing him blush like that. “eh, I thought “the weather ‘s awesome, let’s go have fun time with the dude I love most” but if you’re not up for it I just might have to ask Dirk” Karkat sighed and as he turned to his side he answered “5 more minutes” “heh, sure, but don’t forget that I’m knight of time” the only answer he got was a murmur from the sheets that sounded a bit like fuck off strider. “I’ll have your “breakfast” ready in a bit” Dave responded teasingly.

True to his word the sleepy troll came down the stairs a couple of minutes later. The smell of freshly fried egg wafted from the kitchen to the living room. Dave had started to learn how to cook after the dust settled. He had asked john for lessons who taught him how to make a couple of dishes, one of which was how to fry an egg. After that he and Karkat ate eggs for breakfast for a week straight because “he needed to practice”. Truth be told, he did get quite good at it. With a little smile Karkat walked into the kitchen “SMELLS GOOD, MAN” Dave looked up from the pan and said “thanks, honey”. Karkat quietly giggled “HEH, YOU NEVER CALL ME HONEY”. “oh no, I just needed the honey for a sec” Dave said with a teasing smirk “NICE SAFE… HONEY”.

After a healthy breakfast the two left their house and headed for the park in the centre of town. As they walked they talked, about the house, about their friends, the party Rose and Kanaya are throwing next week and other small talk until they arrived at a bench in the park. The bench was in a beautiful spot, under the canopy of a big old oak tree that stood behind it and with a view of a small river that slowly flowed between the fields and tree clusters. it was busy with a lot of people swimming, sun-bathing, children playing and couples picnicking. “WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HOT” Karkat said as he wiped the sweat of his forehead “ITS ALMOST LIKE IM BACK ON ALTERNIA” Dave looked at him through his old and trusty pair of shades. Ever since they arrived on earth C he had been taking them off more often. When that started happening Rose praised him to high heavens for gaining enough confidence to do so, but on an day as sunny as this one he gladly made an exception. “well it’s a good thing I talked you out of wearing that thick fucking sweater you initially insisted on wearing” he said without a hint of seriousness “HEY, THAT THING WAS VERRY COMFY ON THAT GODAMND SPACE ROCK, OK. WE CANT ALL-…” Karkat had started yelling like he usually did until he looked at Dave who just stared at him with an expression that told Karkat “it’s a joke, fucking chill”. To give his boyfriend this look Dave had taken of his sunglasses and was now holding them in his hand. “OK, OK, ILL CALM DOWN” “thanks dude, people were staring for a sec” embarrass Karkat looked around and saw no one even glancing there way. “OK, HAHA, VERRY FUNNY” the troll said looking at his boyfriend with a face of annoyance as he playfully punched him in the shoulder, who only reacted by giving him a playful and teasing giggle. Dave was still holding his shades in his hand and Karkat noticed that. “HE DAVE, CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?” he asked, Dave looked at him with a questioning look “yeah sure dude, what’s up?” “WELL… I WAS… WONDERING…” he started and Dave interrupted him as he stopped after one word for three times in a row “dude, whatever it is, it won’t be awkward unless you make it” Karkat looked at the ground for a sec, looked his boyfriend straight in the eye and asked “CAN I TRY ON YOUR SUNGLASSES”. Dave fell into a fit of laughter leaving Karkat as awkward as he made it “hehe, sure man, but hehe, why was that such a weird question” Dave asked still a bit shaky with giggles as he hands him the sunglasses. “WELL, I KNOW HOW IMPORTAND THEY ARE TO YOU, WITH THEM BEING A GIFT FROM JOHN AND HAVING WORN THEM THROUGHOUT THE GAME AND STUFF” he said as he put the glasses on his nose. Dave looked at Karkat and something was off. “THIS IS WONDERFULL, NOW I GET WHY YOU USED TO WEAR EM ALL THE DAMNED TIME” Karkat said with glee on his face… “wait, you’ve never worn sunglasses?” “EEH… NO… IT WAS THE TYPE OF STUFF ONLY BLUEBLOODS COULD AFFORD AND DURING THE THREE YEARS ON THE METEOR YOU ALWAYS WORE YOURS AND EQUIUS’ ARE ALL GROSS AND SWEATY AND BROKEN AND AFTER THAT I DIDN’T DARE PUT YOURS ON WHEN YOU WERNT LOOKING…” “aww babe” Dave said and Karkat looked at him with annoyance (Dave knew babe was his least favourite thing to be called and thus he called him that occasionally to “get his goat” as Rose put it). “Can I have em back now?” Dave asked after letting Karkat enjoy the thing for a bit. “SURE” Karkat answered with a smile and proceeded to not give the glasses back… “so, will you give em now” Dave said with an acted tone of losing patience in his voice “OH, FINE” Karkat answered annoyed as he handed the pair back to Dave “they didn’t really suit you anyway” Dave said when cleaning the lenses on his shirt “BULLSHIT, I LOOKED WONDERFULL” “no, not really”. Now properly annoyed with his companion Karkat raised his voice and said “FINE, LET ME TAKE A SLEFIE WITH THE THINGS ON AND SEND IT TO KANAYA, SHE’LL BACK ME UP ON THIS” Dave saw how determent he was and said “fine, but I keep em until she answers, if she agrees with you, they’re yours for the rest of the day” Karkat looked kind of shocked at Dave almost like he didn’t expect it to be this easy, or him to let him have something that was so valuable to him even if it was only for a certain amount of time. He eventually muttered something that sounded agreeing enough and Dave gave him the glasses. Karkat quickly ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to make it look a bit better, put the glasses on his nose and took a selfie. “good, can I have em back now” Dave asked. “HMM, NO THAT’S NO GOOD” Karkat said to himself loud enough for Dave to understand, and he snapped another selfie, and then another, and another and that went on for a couple minutes. “do you need me to take a pic?” Dave said annoyed at this point. “OH FINE, THIS ONE WILL HAVE TO DO” Karkat said to himself, send the pic to Kanaya and as he went to give Dave the glasses his phone buzzed. It was the reaction from their fashion savvy friend. “Oh Dear Lord, No, The Shape Of Those Glasses Don’t Fit Your Face At All. With Your Face Shape You Would Be Better Off With Something More Square” those were the first sentences from the message but Kanaya didn’t stop there, she went on about, colour and materials and a whole heap of fashion related info. Karkat was kind of taken aback by it. Sure, he liked clear answers that didn’t beat around the bush and that this pair wasn’t the ideal fit for him but it still left him with a bit disappointed, and Dave saw that. “guess she said no?” “YEAH… HERE ARE YOUR GLASSES BACK” Dave took the aviators and put them back were they always had been. After a bit of silence he asked “what did she write” Karkat took his phone back out and started reading the message Kanaya had sent. “ok, let’s go” Dave said as he got up from the bench. “GO WHERE” Karkat asked as his boyfriend took two steps towards the main path. The boy turned around and with a smile so cute Karkat’s heart skipped a beat answered “to get you a bitchin pair of shades, of course”.

The two walked hand in hand to the end of the park were they found a small shop selling news papers, ice creams, sun-block and other things one might want for a relaxing time at the park. The two stood in front of one of the racks with sunglasses and started looking for something that would fit Kanaya’s description. After a minute or so they narrowed it down to three. A pair of fake black wayfarers, a pair that was half plastic with a faux tortoise shell look and half metal, and a pair of rectangular see-through with mirroring glasses. “WHICH DO YOU LIKE” the crabby boy asked and his companion answered “well not those, that’s for damn sure” he spoke as he pointed at the see through  with mirroring glasses. “WHY NOT THOSE?” “Couse every time I look at you I don’t wanna be reminded of my own fuckin face. I’ve seen enough Daves for a lifetime” he added with a grin. “WELL OK, NOT THOSE I GUESS” “how about those” Dave said wile pointing at the half plastic model. Karkat put them on and looked at Dave “they work I guess” he said with a tone in his voice that sounded like he wasn’t sold on the them. Karkat looked at the little mirror above the rack. “OH HELL NO, I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TOOL” Karkat said maybe just a little bit too loud. “guess that only leaves one, huh” “YEAH, I GUESS” the two agreed. Karkat put the wayfarer copy on his nose and looked at the mirror and then at Dave and they both agreed  again and went to the checkout. “these please” Dave said handing the shop keep the glasses. “ah, yes, these sell like hot cakes” the man said to just start some banter with customers “they sell so well, a new shipping arrived this morning”. “oh ok, anything interesting with that shipment?” Dave asked politely. He was still kind of new to the “polite banter at the till” thing due to bro’s lousy attempt at raising a kid. After they arrived on earth C Rose and Kanaya had taken him clothing shopping a couple of times and after he was very rude to the personnel in the first shop they went to, the two girls gave him the speech of a lifetime. “oh yes, of course” the man answered enthusiastically “you see, the colours are always the first to go, so that’s what the biggest part of it is” now Dave moved closer to the man behind the counter and whispered something to him and the man nodded “yes I have those, I’ll be right back sir” and he walked off through a door. “WHAT DID YOU ASK” Karkat said to Dave who with a tease in his voice answered “you’ll see”. After a moment the man came back “sorry it took so long, they were all the way at the bottom of the box” he said as he put a pair of sunnies on the counter similar to those Dave just gave him but this one had a bright red frame. Karkat looked at the glasses and then to Dave… and back to the glasses and now to the shop keep. “just out of curiosity, how often do you sell this color to trolls” Dave asked while looking at Karkat “oh very often, in fact I think they are a lot more popular with trolls than with humans… is there a problem, sirs?” Karkat looked at the thing and back to Dave until eventually “SIGH, OK”. Dave looked at him with an adoring smile as he gave the man the boon dollars asked for the thing. With a grin on their faces and a greetings from the shop keep the two walked back into the park.

The two walked in a comfortable silence until they reached a fountain where Dave said “oh dude, this is the perfect spot” Karkat, kicked from his thoughts asked “FOR WHAT?” “a picture of course, we’re gonna need to show Kan we put her advice to good use”. It might have been a hobby of Dave’s years ago but he still took photography very serious. Karkat had never seen Dave quite this exited. He watched as his boyfriend walk around checking the lighting and walking back and forth between a couple of places ‘hey Karkat, mind getting over there for a sec?’ Dave spoke kicking Karkat from his adoring daydream. ‘OH, SURE’ he quickly answered trying to act as natural as he could and failing. He walked over to the spot that was pointed out and Dave started messing about with the phone until he said “ok, smile”. Karkat was rather uncomfortable. It just felt strange, this whole situation. He thought it would just be a simple picture with a simple phone and Dave was treating it as high art or something. While Karkat was zoning out again Dave had gotten up, drew a line in the dirt path were he had first been and walked over to him. Karkat snapped out of thought as Dave wrapped his arms around him. He started blushing a bit and a moment later asked in a hushed voice “eeh, Dave, why?” “Couse you were somewhere else” Dave said as he lifted his head from Karkat’s shoulder and looked him straight in the face as he felt his face go red. “will you now smile for the camera?” Dave asked still hugging the troll “…yeah …sure” he eventually replied. Dave walked back to the place he had marked, got on one knee and took a picture of the awkwardly smiling Karkat. After a couple of pictures Dave asked him to strike a pose. Karkat made a flexing pose as awkward as his smile. “next pose” Dave said and Karkat struck a new pose a bit more confident this time and his confidence grew every time Dave had asked for a new pose. This continued for a while until Dave said all t the good lighting was gone. That made Karkat look up and only then noticed the sun had crept behind the tall trees surrounding the fountain.

They walked to the exit of the park and talked about what to do next. “I was thinking we could go to a restaurant and score some food n’ drinks n’ stuff” “NAH, I DON’T REALY FEEL LIKE IT… THER’S A MOVIE ON LATER TONIGHT I’D LIKE TO SEE”. Dave looks at his boyfriend a bit disappointed “aww dude, I was looking forward to taking you out to dinner” Karkat sighs “OK, HOW BOUT THIS. WE STEAL TEREZI’S THING AND FLIP A COIN”. Dave agrees with a nod and hands Karkat a coin. Karkat flips the coin and as the piece of metal twirls through the air Dave says heads. Karkat catches the thing and shows the result, it came up heads. The two walk to the centre of town. Dave noticed that Karkat was deep in thought again “how bout you pick the place” the troll boy looked up at his matesprit and with a friendly smile he answered “SURE”. They strolled through a street filled with shops, cafés and restaurants and people looking through the store windows, having drinks right outside café’s and people having a good time in general. The pair walked until Karkat stopped in front of a sign that read

“Tony’s Italian cuisine

- Pizza 10$

- Spaghetti 8 $

- Lasagne 12:50

Bar open after 7 o’clock

No reservation needed”

Karkat looked at Dave and before he could get a word out Dave said “looks good to me”. The two enter the restaurant and took a place. “WHAT IS LASADGNEY?” Karkat asked Dave who looked up with a smirk and answered “Dunno, but lasagne is a pile of dough leaves separated with tomato sauce”. Karkat question wasn’t really answered by this but at least he now had some idea of what he could get himself into. A waitress appeared, introduced herself as Korina and asked for their orders. Dave decided on pizza right away, it’s one of his favourite dishes but Karkat hesitated for a moment until he asked her the same question he asked Dave. After an explanation that was a bit more in depth Karkat’s decision was made, he was having lasagne. The waitress asked “would you like a drink while you wait?” Dave looked at the menu one more time and said “I’ll have a beer” Karkat looked at Dave and said “I’m having what he’s having” a moment later she returned with two cold beers, foaming white on top and a pale yellow shining through the fogged up glass. The two talked a bit till the drink was half gone and the waitress returned with the food and after having warned Karkat that not just his dinner but also the bowl it was served in was hot, the two dug in.

After the plates were cleaned the two had desert with ice cream and when all the food was gone it was about 7:30. “wanna move to the bar” Karkat’s eyes shot up from the table straight to Dave’s eye’s. Dave had taken his sunglasses off right when they walked through the door of the restaurant and after having peeked into the red eyes of his boyfriend for a moment he answered “SURE”. The two did just that and sat at the end of the bar with Dave between Karkat and the wall which was adorned with beautiful pictures of the Italian country side. A waiter came over to them and took the order of two more beer. They talked about this and that until a couple of glasses were emptied and the two started to feel the effects of the drink. Karkat once again was lost in thought and Dave was just about done with that. “ok dude… you’f been, zoning out all vucking day… what’s up” Dave said as Karkat slowly turned his head to try and keep it from spinning. Trolls react differently to alcohol than humans, it effects the balancing organs earlier but on the other hand they don’t feel “drunk” quite as quick. Karkat sighed and with the same motion closed his eyes. “IT’Z NO USE SAYING IT’Z NOTHIN RIGHT?” a little smile played around Dave’s mouth when he answered “nope” “SIGH… FINE, FINE.” The crabby boy muttered “DO YOU… D’YOU EVER WONDER HOW ZHE VUCK YOU GOT WERE YOU ARE IN LIFE…” Dave looked at Karkat with a raised eyebrow but Karkat continues “AND WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE PEOPLE YOU’RE WIV… AND JUST… YOU JUST” Dave started tapping his fingers with annoyance but still Karkat hasn’t shut up. “AND THE THINGS YOU DO TOGETHER AND… THE LOOK ON THEYRE FACE WHEN… WHEN…” Dave has had enough of this useless muttering “spit it out Vantas”. Karkat tore his eyes from his boyfriends and looked at the 2/3s gone glass of beer in front of him “SIGH… HOW DID AN ASSHOLE LIKE ME GET THIS CLOSE TO AN AMAZING PERSON LIKE YOU” he spoke as his eyes started getting teary. Dave just sat there. Looking at Karkat with a happy, tender and intoxicated smile. Till one word escaped his lips “dude”. Karkat looked him straight in the eye and made Dave tear up as well. The two without saying one more word got up at exactly the same moment and hugged like they rarely did before. With this face buried in Dave’s shirt Karkat whispered “I just love you so vucking much” and Dave answered with a similar, shaky and tear riddled voice “I love you too man”. Some other patrons saw the hug and looked on endeared. The two employers who happened to be at the other end of the bar whispered to each other “oh that’s cute… we’re going to have to stop serving em aren’t we?”

But it wasn’t necessary to stop serving them because after the two had finished their glasses, payed the tab and left with their arms around each other’s shoulders. When they got home it was just passed 10 o clock. “it’z a bit early to go to bed isn’t it” Karkat looked up from taking off his shoes “WELL, ZHERE IS THIS ROMCOM I WANTED TO SEE… WE COULD WATCH THAT” “you know what, sure”. they sat themselves down on the couch with some snacks and something to drink that wasn’t alcoholic and when they got to the channel that broadcasted the movie they found it had only just begun. It was a troll movie so it was all new to Dave but Karkat had seen it 10 times already but it’s one of his favourites, so he wanted to see it again. the two fell asleep during one of the commercial breaks with Dave resting his head on Karkat’s lap and Karkat with his arm across Dave’s chest. Dave woke up in the dead of night. The movie was long over and the channel was now broadcasting infomercials. He looked at Karkat who was in a deep sleep. He turned the tv off, lifted Karkat off the couch and put him in bed, got in next to him and fell in a deep and dreamless sleep.

[zuzkyblog-blog]

The Night Visitor - Part 2 (Credence Barebone x Reader)

Part 1

Summary: It’s Credence’s turn to fall ill and be taken care of. Reader finds him standing delirious on a street while it’s raining and quickly takes him home to do something about his fever.

Pairing: Credence Barebone x Reader

Word Count: 3497

Warnings: mentions of abuse, possibly angsty themes like loneliness (?) etc.

Comment: Comments/thoughts are LOVE, don’t be scared to drop a few words if you like this, it keeps me going.  So, there’s the sequel and there is much more Credence in it, with some fluff too. I hope you enjoy!

Ten days. It had been exactly ten days since Credence winded up in a certain apartment belonging to a kind and pretty witch - namely you - in the middle of the night. He had absolutely no idea how he'd got there, but he understood one thing: something was seriously wrong with him and it wasn't the high fevers and terrible lethargy caused by the flu he had apparently caught somewhere and which was bothering him since yesterday.

His illness was excruciating, but he would gladly endure it if he didn't have to stand on the corner of the street with a stack of leaflets as usual. He was freezing and it was getting late. He'd stood there for nearly four hours now and yet he managed to give out only about five of the cursed papers. If he wasn't hoping to see you so much, he would probably go home straight to bed, even if it earned him beating administered by his surrogate mother.

Seeing your smiling face was the only thing that kept him going lately. Since that fateful night, you always stopped by - sometimes even twice a day - to exchange a few polite sentences and take a leaflet from him. Occasionally you even brought him snacks when Mary Lou wasn't around. He wondered if he could even see your face today if you showed up. His eyes were tired and his vision a messy blur. On top of that, it was beginning to rain.

As the rain turned into a heavy downpour and streets grew empty, Credence still stood there, drenched to a bone, and hot tears began pooling in corners of his eyes. He was so tired; if only he could somehow end up in your apartment again. Desperate for comfort and attention, he felt his consciousness drift away, as if he was changing into something else.

"Credence, what are you doing here?"

A familiar voice brought him back. He opened his eyes and stared right into your face. You stood much closer than usual and upon closer inspection he realised you were holding his hand by its wrist.

"M-Miss (Y/N)," he whimpered weakly and began to cry. He realised he wasn't standing in the rain anymore because you held an umbrella over his head. You rarely used No-Maj umbrellas, but you could hardly go out with a magical one, so you quickly transfigured your shawl into the item you needed, a black umbrella big enough for two.

"Credence, I'll take you home. My home," you said quickly, your face full of worries and sympathy, things he'd never seen in the face of his Ma.

"I-I can't, Ma will… Ma will get angry," he shook his head in spite of himself. He wanted this, he wanted to be with you again, so why he fought it so much? You reached out with your lips tightly pressed against each other in disagreement, and touched his forehead, because you had a hunch he might be sick.

"Merlin's beard, you're burning," you squeaked. In the cold rain it almost felt like his forehead scalded your hand. "Come!" You grabbed his arm and dragged him off the street to a dark alleyway nearby. From there you took out your wand and apparated by the front door to your apartment.

"Ugh," Credence let out a choked growl and got sick.

"I'm sorry, I should have warned you," you apologised while unlocking the door. "I couldn't get us inside. I have my apartment warded against teleportation spells." Your explanations weren't meant to provide info, they were meant to distract him. He was still sobbing a little, although you did notice how he relaxed as soon as you tugged on his arm.

You opened the door and gently pushed him over the threshold, following him and locking the door behind you with Colloportus spell.

"Y-You shouldn't have…," he sighed as you led him to the kitchen.

"Well, what should I've done then? Leave you standing in the rain with a fever?" you said a bit too sharply for your liking. Credence shivered as if he was scared of your tone so you decided to mellow it down. "It might sound silly, but I care about you, Credence. I couldn't just walk away, could I?" you smiled and seated him on a chair. You could feel his eyes on you as he began to sob again at your words. "Ok, first things first, Credence. Give me your hands," you told him as you rolled up your sleeves.

"W-What? No, my hands are alright," he protested.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it. Yesterday the leaflet I got from you had bloodstains on it," you insisted, and soon enough he opened his palms for you to see a new set of cuts. They might not bleed anymore, but they were far from sealed. You held your wand to his broken skin and healed it. Taking a deep breath, you wanted to provide him with a few words of comfort in regards to his abuse injuries, but it felt too painful to acknowledge it like that.

"Thanks," he whispered to wake you up from your pensive daze.

"Alright, now to do something about your fever…," you mumbled and walked to your stash to check if you had enough ingredients. Credence's gaze never left your figure, no matter how tired he was. "I'm surprised you're sick now. Incubation period for influenza is much shorter," you wondered aloud while taking out what you needed.

"I-Incubation period?" Credence repeated after you. He didn't understand the words. After all, his Ma was never fond of the idea of him getting a proper education.

"It's how long it takes for illness to affect you after being exposed it. On average it's about two days for flu and you've taken care of me ten days ago," you explained, grabbed your tin cauldron and washed it thoroughly in the kitchen sink. You had no idea about it, but at that moment Credence smiled a little. He was extremely grateful that you didn't question his appearance in your apartment at all. He was worried you would be angry about his intrusion, but you didn't seem to mind at all. If anything, you seemed kind of happy about it!

"L-Lately more and more sick kids are coming to the church. I had to catch it from one of t-them," he said quietly.

"Hmm, could be," you shrugged. It wasn't important where he'd caught it anyway.

"M-Miss (y/n), w-what are you going to do?" he asked tentatively as you dried your cauldron with a cloth.

"I'll make you a potion," you smiled.

"A potion? Like… a witch's brew?" he gasped.

"Well yeah, basically. It's primarily against fevers, but it's antiseptic, so it should help to fight the infection too," you explained and placed the cauldron on the burner. "Incendio!" With a nifty fire spell you turned the burner on. Credence shuddered. Every action you took surprised him more and more. It was like watching a stage play.

"Y-You don't have to do it. I'll be fine," he bowed his head humbly.

"I have to, because I want to help you like you helped me last time," you sighed. "Besides, you are skinny and weak. You might even be malnourished. It could be lethal for you if we didn't do anything about it."

"That might be… for the best," he sniffled; his shoulders were shaking as he tried to fight the emotion.

"Don't say that, honey," you murmured as you came over to him, kneeled by his chair and made him look at you. When your eyes met, he raised his hands as if he was asking you to hug him. Your cheeks turned pink. You held his hands, but didn't initiate an embrace even though you wanted so badly. "There will be time for that later, alright? I promise. Look at you, you're completely drenched," you told him softly.

"R-Right. Sorry," he sighed and tried to pull his hands back, but you held them tight.

"Wait here, I'll get you something to change into," you said and left him in the kitchen for a while. Credence looked around the room. The furniture looked fairly ordinary, but decorations and various utensils looked anything but normal. He hadn't noticed the last time he was there, but the pictures on the walls were actually moving! He shook his head and rubbed his eyes to see if he wasn't dreaming. After all, he was so tired his mind might be playing tricks on him. He also noted an unusual clock on the wall. Besides time, they also showed what day, month and year it was, along with weather and an extra small dial with twenty eight days. He had no idea what that one was for, except for maybe moon phases.

You returned to the kitchen to find him staring at the clock as if he was hypnotised.  You chuckled quietly, because he looked at your wall with a child-like excitement and it was simply adorable. Credence heard your steps and looked at you, noticing the stuff you were carrying. A fluffy white towel, a plain striped pyjamas and a bathrobe.

"I got you pyjamas, but I'm not sure about the size," you said, "I've just enlarged my old one. I might have overdone it and made it too big." Credence just blinked at you in confusion. What did you have in mind? You didn't have to be a Legilimens to know what he was thinking; all the questions appeared on his face. "Why don't you go and take a shower? Just leave the wet clothes on the floor, I'll wash them later. When you're done, come back to the kitchen and from here it's straight road to bed."

"Oh, I-- I can't, Miss (y/n)," he panicked. "I c-can't stay. Ma will get angry. I-I still need to give out all the leaflets."

"The leaflets…," you repeated after him, your eyes darting to the word DOWNPOUR on your magical clock. Hell, even if it was sunny, you wouldn't allow him to leave and distribute the rest of the papers. You were getting more and more frustrated with that Barebone woman. What hypocrisy, calling people like you witches, while the only one who deserved to be burned at stake was her!

You exhaled and closed your eyes to calm down. You were on the verge of screaming and it was the last thing this poor soul in front of you needed.

"Let me show you what I think of the leaflets and your Ma," you said coldly, but the coldness wasn't directed at him. Placing the towel and other things on the table, you grabbed the wet stack of leaflets and held it to the flame coming of the burner. Credence watched in disbelief as the papers eventually caught fire and slowly disintegrated in your hand into ashy black pieces. "Now there aren't any leaflets to give out, so you can stay," you looked at him as you got rid of the last burned bits of paper.

"I--I still can't stay too long," he shook his head and once again bowed it so he didn't have to see your face.

"Alright, Credence, I understand. Let's make a deal then. You'll stay till the potion takes effect, ok? I'll give you some of it to take with you, but make sure no one finds it." It wasn't ideal; you really wished he stayed overnight so you could take care of him properly, but it couldn't be helped. Mary Lou Barebone's power over this poor young man was too strong. Credence nodded at your proposal. "Good. Now the shower." You handed him the things and he took them hesitantly. "Can you manage on your own?" you worried when you saw him drag his feet toward the door you pointed at.

"I'll be fine," he forced a smile.

"Ok. But if you need anything, just call me. I'll get the potion brewing meanwhile," you smiled back and waited till he was gone. First of all, you cleaned your bedroom a bit and changed bedcovers so it was ready for him. After that you returned to the kitchen and began to prepare the potion.

Many things ran through your head, mostly related to Credence . You were starting to toy with an idea to invite him to stay with you. Your apartment was spacious enough; after all, you'd originally moved in with your ex-boyfriend, but things didn't turned out well and your relationship didn't last.

You questioned yourself if you wanted to live with Credence just because you wanted a replacement for your ex. Even though it'd been a year since he left, it still caused you a great deal of pain. In the end, you realised it didn't even matter. You might be lonely, true, but Credence really needed to get out of that cursed place. There were other things you were concerned about more than the chance you were considering taking Credence in out of your selfishness.

You still weren't sure who he exactly was. He didn't seem to be able to do magic, but at the same time he reeked of it. You'd always been sensitive to people with magical power, so you could tell. He didn't seem like a squib at all; more like a young wizard who never got into a magical school. There was also the weird dark matter you'd found in your kitchen that night almost two weeks ago; the matter that was gone as soon as Credence appeared. You couldn't get rid of the idea that it might have been an Obscurus after all. Sure, Credence was too old to be an Obscurial, but everything else matched the descriptions you'd read about in books.

Speaking of Obscurials, there was also one experience that made you very uncomfortable. A few days ago, as you were leaving the office, you bumped into your boss Percival Graves, the Director of Magical Security. You exchanged a few words and in the fit of curiosity you asked him whether he thought it was possible for an Obscurial to exist in New York in this modern age. He seemed to be surprised by your question and rejected it quickly, saying MACUSA knew of all wizards and witches in New York, but the unusual glare he directed at you had been haunting you ever since. You couldn't say for certain, but it seemed like he knew.

"I'm back."

Credence's quiet voice pulled you out of your thoughts just when you were adding powdered ginger into the cauldron. You looked at him and smiled as soon as you noticed the pyjamas you gave him. He had to roll up sleeves and legs quite a bit and it looked ridiculous.

"Oh my, it's even bigger than I thought," you laughed. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok," he shook his head and came a bit closer. "I left my clothes on the floor as you asked, but… you don't have to wash it," he spoke slowly and his cheeks turned bright red even though he didn't usually have much colour in them.

"Why not?" you wondered, observing his face curiously.

"W-Well, there's my underwear and... it's d-disgusting, right?" he squeezed out of his throat. Your heart broke how ashamed he seemed to be about it.

"It's not disgusting at all. It's pretty normal," you pouted a little and returned to adding more ingredients to the brew. Credence stood in place and watched you. You were painfully aware he had more on his mind. "Did shower make you feel better?" you asked encouragingly to make him less worried about speaking his mind.

"Yes," he nodded. "I--I don't think my clothes will dry in time though," he added with a heavy heart.

"Ah, don't worry about it, I'll get them to dry quicker," you waved your hand.

"The same way you dried the leaflets?" Credence asked you. You froze in place for a second, then quickly turned to him. A smile appeared on his sweaty face. You gazed at him, utterly mesmerised by what has just happened. It must have been that very moment when you fell in love with Credence Barebone.

"D-Did you just… Was it a joke?" you gasped, still unable to believe it. Credence looked away and shrugged, but his smile still lingered on his lips. "Well," you cleared your throat with a small cough, "I could, if it made you feel better."

"I think it would," Credence admitted, "But I don't think it's a good idea."

"Don't worry, I'll just dry them with a drying spell," you assured him, threw the last ingredient into the pot and then grasped his hand. "Come, you need to lie down."

"I don't want to, Miss (y/n)," he shook his head. When he noticed your questioning look, he continued: "I don't want to be alone. C-Can I watch you as you make the potion?"

"Heh, the most interesting part is already over. From now on it's just making sure the temperature isn't too high or too low and stirring it in a specific way," you warned him.

"I still want to stay here with you," he said stubbornly. You giggled at his expression. You wouldn't admit it to him, but you were really happy about his decision.

"Ok, I'll just get a blanket to wrap you into," you agreed and went to the bedroom. You returned with a cosy, thick duvet, wrapped him in it so he looked like a giant caterpillar, and seated him on the chair again.

"I-Is it necessary?" he complained, but seemed happy and relaxed.

"Yes, you need to sweat as much as possible, young man!" you laughed and to your pleasant surprise he chuckled as well.

Credence said he wanted to watch you and it's exactly what he did. You weren't talking much, there was no need to. You weren't exactly a person who enjoyed attention from others, but Credence seemed to find pleasure and relief in your presence, so you happily obliged and let his gaze follow you around the kitchen. If you took a chance and met his eyes, you would surely notice a great portion of fondness in them. At least if you didn't notice the snot running down his upper lip first.

You were nearly done with potion-making when you noticed he'd fallen asleep somewhere along the way. You finished the potion, took the cauldron of the heat to let it cool down a bit and began cooking chicken soup in a pot. It would go much smoother and quicker, because you could easily use magic for that.

"Credence, wake up," you carefully called his name a bit later, armed with a cotton handkerchief, a cup of herbal tea and a glass of the antipyretic potion. His eyelids fluttered open and it took him a moment to realise where he was.

"M-Miss (y/n)," he mumbled your name deliriously. He was sweating like crazy and his skin felt like fire. He tried to focus his eyes on your face, but it wasn't going well.

"Do you think you can walk?" you asked and he nodded in reply. "Ok, here, blow your nose."

You handed him the handkerchief and he did as you instructed. When he was done, you took it and wiped his chin with it. He had a snot there as well. Credence looked away in shame.

"It's alright, sweetheart. You're sick, so don't feel bad about small things like that," you cooed and took the glass of disgusting and smelly yellowish green liquid off the table. "Here, drink it. It tastes absolutely horrendous, so the quicker you get it over with, the better."

You watched him as he took the glass in his trembling hand. Thank Merlin his nose was all stuffed, at least he didn't have to smell the repulsive odour. He watched the glass for a second. When he was done gathering his courage, he took a deep breath and drank it all in one go, even though you could see he was almost gagging on it.

"Good job," you cheered, as he handed you the glass back, his eyes tightly shut. He was struggling to swallow the last sip.

"It w-wasn't that bad," he commented. His expression said the opposite.

"Heh, you don't have to lie, I know how it tastes," you sneered. "It's smells like cat shit and tastes like…"

"P-Please don't describe it," he butted in and covered his mouth. He was getting slightly green.

"Sorry, but you get my point, right? Here, drink some tea, it should help you with the aftertaste," you gave him the cup next. He drank it even quicker than the potion. "Let's take you to bed now. I'll finish cleaning up and get back to you as soon as I can, deal?"

"D-Deal," Credence nodded. You helped him to bed, tucked him in and tenderly caressed his hair before returning to kitchen.

***

(I originally wanted to make this a trilogy, but it’s getting bigger and bigger it seems :-/ Next chapter soon!)

[dont-sneeze]

dUDE. jackcrutchie where crutchies having an Anxiety day and jack comforts him