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hello-im-not-a-possum · 3 years ago

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18. Skeleton

Buddy and Sammy find the “goldfish room” as the latter calls it, AKA the closet where Joey keeps his skeletons, literally. And in the process, Buddy learns about a few of the skeletons in Sammy’s metaphorical closet. (Set during ink hell, pre loop, post Buddy befriending the lost ones/searchers.)

The Prophet was a strange ally.

It was weird to work alongside someone who worships the guy who tore you in half and is the biggest reason why you’re stuck in a nightmarish, inescapable studio, especially when it wasn’t the nicest or friendliest person before getting claimed by the ink. (Although, as he thought back on it, had he ever met Sammy before it was claimed by the Ink?)

But ANY ally was better than an enemy, especially when that ally knows the studio better than anyone else down here. Besides, it seemed like the Ink man was either unaware of their past or didn’t even know who they used to be, and even if it did, it wasn’t angry about their past issues.

At the same time, working on scavenging trips with the former musician was a nightmare; it was way too tranquil about the situation, and there were too many weird murderous monsters that the wolf and gofer were aware of.

“I do not need to run, little wolf. I can evade these creatures without issue through my Lord’s gift.” The Prophet calmly stated as Buddy gestured confusion about why it didn’t run when the pair heard something that sounded suspiciously like the projectionist’s screams. “Besides, running through these halls is risky, I would be heard by those… more unsavory denizens of this studio and get ambushed by them.”

He wished his typewriter was quieter in instances like this, being able to type out ‘But what if you get caught by your lord?’ and other messages to hand to him without risking alerting the Ink Demon would be great. Or just having his voice back in general.

“If my Lord decides to send me back to the puddles, then it is his right to do so to prove I have changed.” He answered the unspoken question. “But it does mean that I have to work harder to get him to notice how much I have improved, get him to notice me…”

‘Please don’t read my mind unless I give you the “go for it” gesture. It’s creepy otherwise.’

“My apologies, little wolf, while your thoughts come in quieter than everybody else’s… they’re still noticeable, especially when it’s just the two of us.”

Buddy hesitantly nodded and just tried to lead the Prophet out of the ransacked room to look for more stray supplies.

A few more hours of searching lead the pair to a locked room, something that experience told him meant that either it was another dead end or a hidden treasure trove of supplies, and not wanting to go back to the safe house empty handed, he was ready to roll those dice.

Buddy gestured for the Prophet to stand guard as he picked the door’s lock, and as the door slowly creaked open, he was thankful that he couldn’t speak because the scream that came out from his mouth would’ve been loud enough to alert every monster in the studio.

The former gofer felt sick to his stomach when he saw them. Piles upon piles of rotting, mangled, corpses. Human Corpses, not toony corpses like the other Borises or the butchered up members of the Butcher gang. Most of them were unrecognizable, partly because he had never seen most of these people in his life, and partly because they had decayed so much that what remained was hard to figure out who was who and what. The oldest corpses were nothing but skeletons and clothes, and the freshest one looked like…

...Like his own body.

“The goldfish room...” The prophet muttered loud enough for Buddy to hear, startling the poor pup out of his skin as he didn’t hear him enter behind him.

The wolf shuddered and continued to scour the room for anything worth the hassle of all of this. Boris wanted to take a few of the bones, which Buddy unenthusiastically obliged.

“Don’t eat those!” The Prophet interjected so loudly and harshly that it startled both the former gofer and the wolf toon. The ink creature’s anger was so much scarier with how rare it was to see now. “Especially not him! He’s my-” The Prophet stopped itself by covering its ‘mouth’ with its hands as if it was about to reveal a big secret and just took the skeletal arm out of Buddy’s hands and put it back where he found it. Its voice went back to it’s normal calm tone that reminded him of someone who was on the verge of falling asleep, but Buddy heard somberness in the musician’s pitch. “...they’re unclean...”

‘Prophet?’ Buddy gave him the “go ahead, read my mind” gesture. ‘Prophet, what is this place? Who are these people?’

“...You’ve seen your own corpse among them, correct?”

Buddy nodded.

“I know you’ve met Joey, but tell me; ...Has he ever called you ‘Henry’ before?”

‘Yes he has, but what does that have to do with…’ he gestured at the bodies on the floor ‘this?!’

“Henry’s been gone for a long time now.” The prophet stated, but there was a hint of recollection in his tone that weakened the calmness, and the more he talked, the more broken (for lack of a better term) his voice became. “Do you think that you were Joey’s first replacement goldfish? That after Henry left the studio, you were Joey’s only other other Henry?”

Buddy’s ears began ringing and he heard music; it was loud, distorted, fast-paced, and all over the place, the type of music that makes your heart pound out of your chest and makes your hackles stand up, the type of music that tells you to run, but doesn’t clue you in to where or why. The prophet’s body started to shake and tremble.

“The first Other-Henry was actually named Henry as well. And like his predecessor, was an excellent artist who really connected with the characters...”

‘Sammy? What’s going on? do you hear this too?!’

“But unlike Stein, Ross was a very stubborn person who refused to let anyone push him around, especially by either Joey or myself. Surprisingly, I liked that man, but he didn’t last long...”

Fear kept Buddy’s legs frozen to the ground as he covered his ears in a fruitless attempt to muffle the music, it felt like it was being played directly in his head, and then it clicked when the whispers started up, whispers in their tone, but not in volume, they were loud enough to drown out parts of what the Prophet was saying;

‘Sammy help us!’

“The next one was more like you, a younger, less experienced and more skittish person, his first name was ‘Lawrence’ so everyone called him ‘Larry’ to avoid confusion...”

‘Sammy, where are you?’

“...But he was also too nosy for that poor boy’s own good.”

‘you’re too weak!’

“The one after that was a scatterbrained fellow, very passionate about his work but didn’t focus very much on one topic or another...”

The Prophet’s monologue was completely drowned out by the music and chorus of desperate and angry “Other Henries” at this point. Buddy knew he was still talking because of the musician’s gestures, but didn’t hear a single word out of him.

‘Saaaaaammyyyyyyy....’ ‘You’re such a spineless coward...’ ‘Sammy please save us..!’ ‘Why did you let Joey kill us?’ ‘The ink... it’s so cold...’ ‘No wonder Susie hates you so much...’ ‘Sammy, please! It hurts!’ ‘Why did you let us die?’ ‘Why won’t you help us?’ ‘You’re no better than Joey.’ ‘Sammy, help us!’ ‘I thought you loved me...’ ‘Sammy, help us!’ ‘You promised me that you’d always be there!’ ‘Sammy, help us!’ ‘They were right about you...’ ‘Sammy, help us!’ ‘Saaaaaammyyyyyyy....’

He knew that the lost ones, searchers and Prophet could hear each others’ thoughts, but didn’t understand what that was like until now that he was hearing Sammy’s thoughts. No wonder most of them were always so depressed and on edge...

‘Sammy?’ the gofer shook Sammy gently, only to hear his own voice join the chorus of other Henries as one of the ones who sounded like he was mad at him. ‘Sammy, snap out of it!’ he shook the Prophet harder, still not waking the Ink creature out of its trance. ‘SAMMY!’ Doing the first thing that came to mind out of desperation, Buddy slapped the mask clean off of it.

The music and voices died as if they were a candle light snuffed out by the wind.

For a few seconds that felt more like hours, Buddy and Sammy stared at each other in silence before Sammy put its mask back on as if nothing happened and led the toon wolf out of the goldfish room, took a key out of its pocket and locked it behind them.

-----

Back in the safe house, Buddy started up a pot of bacon soup, the stuff tasted a little bit better when it was hot while Sammy tuned the banjo in the dining area and Dot tried to stir up conversation.

“So... how did the supply run go?”

“Fine.”

Buddy involuntarily let out a snort as he took the soup off the stove and took out his typewriter.

[It was the scariest one we’ve ever done so far.

While looking around for stuff, we ended up in this place S The Prophet called ‘the Goldfish room’ and it was filled with dead bodies. HUMAN dead bodies. And mine was in the pile! I couldn’t tell if it was haunted or if it was just the prophet’s thoughts going]

“Little wolf, I do not wish to think about that room again...”

[Sorry.]

The wolf sheepishly put the typewriter to the side and poured the soup into bowls. As the toon and lost one ate, the prophet mostly just stared into his bowl as if he was watching something in it.

“...Before my enlightenment, I was not a good person.” The masked musician stated unprompted.

“Huh?”

“I wasn’t an evil person per say, and I wouldn’t go as far as to call the man I used to be a monster.” He sighed and adjusted his mask. “But I was certainly a bad person, an asshole, a coward who hid behind physical strength, and I had more vices than virtues.”

[Prophet, what are you talking about?]

“I’m trying to answer the questions I know you have before either of you two pester them out of me. Maybe when you’re sated my Lord will allow me to forget again.”

[Are you sure? you seemed really upset back ...there.]

“Well look at it this way, maybe getting it off your chest will help you feel better about it?”

“I suppose...” The prophet sighed again.

“So what does you being a crackhead before finding the Ink Demon Religion have to do with a room full of dead bodies?”

“Dorthy!”

“...I’ll just listen before asking anything else.”

“Thank you.” It readjusted its mask. “Now where was I...” it hummed to itself for a bit before speaking again, with venom slowly but surly pooling into its words. “I had more vices than virtues, and Joey could see all of both, using my virtues to his advantage, and using my vices against myself, he did everything he could to keep me from leaving him too, and it worked.”

The prophet took in a deep breath to stabilize itself.

“Every time I tried to leave, he did something else to make me stay; ‘I love you’s turned to gifts, gifts to false promises, false promises to threats, threats to blackmail, blackmail to going through with it, and when he felt me slipping through his fingers he turned to taking advantage of my addictions... That... monster was a parasite in all aspects except physically... And I didn’t even notice until I might as well have been a walking corpse as I was seeing others march to my fate, but I couldn’t even so much as squeak out a warning without Joey swooping in on his behalf. Some Henries, heads of the art department, didn’t need to be warned by me as they found out what would await them and fled. But Joey didn’t like that... When I tried to warn the ones who needed to be warned, it was easy for him to dismiss me as a loon, a drunk, and an addict, until eventually I just gave up. I couldn’t even save myself, let alone anyone else... let alone the other art departments...”

“...I just stopped trying to keep Joey from leading the sheep to the slaughter, maybe they’re right to be angry at me for being such a coward...”

It then turned to face the wolf and put its hand on his shoulder.

“You’ve asked yourself if you’ve ever met me before the Ink had claimed me, as for that, I don’t know, nor do I think it matters, Buddy. I was nothing but a shallow and beaten husk of myself long before I even had tasted the ink. Even if you met me before then, you only met a ghost, not a person.”

The three then stayed in silence for a while before the clicks of Buddy’s typewriter caught the other two’s attention.

[Well, if it helps you any I think you’re not as bad of a person as you tell yourself you used to be.]

“And I don’t need to hear everyone’s thoughts to know that you’ve really stepped up to the plate when it counted. I don’t think a coward would try to do have the stuff you’re doing now.”

“Thanks you two” The Prophet’s voice cracked with emotion. “That... that really means a lot to me.”

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #buddy boris #buddy lewek #sammy lawrence #dot batim #fanfic #drug abuse tw #abuse tw #dead bodies #psychological trauma #ink demonth

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canyouevenwritebro · 4 years ago

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Sunflowers (pt. 1)

Summary: The reader has been with the Avengers since they rescued her from HYDRA. She has joined them on countless missions since then but this may be the hardest one yet. Set in 2016 CA:CW.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. It’s purely fiction.

Characters: steve rogers, tony stark, natasha romanoff, bucky barnes, sam wilson, wanda maximoff, clint barton, peter parker

Word count: 4.5k

Warnings: angst, depression, violence, death

a/n: hey!!! i did it! my first fanfic.

When the Avengers raided the HYDRA base you were kept in, they found you inside a cryo-chamber sleeping peacefully. After every personnel was captured, they transferred you to the compound along with artifacts and files of experiments they performed. Eventually, they found your file. It was quite lengthy. Your father was working for HYDRA but he turned on them and planned to take them down. As a result, they silenced him and your mother. They knew that whatever he knew about HYDRA, he told her. They spared you because you were just a kid. Instead, you were out on the Thanatos program. It was your father's project and it was almost done up until his betrayal. They thought you would be perfect for the program. They could groom you to the perfect obedient soldier they needed. On top of that, what could be more cruel than using your father's work to torture you?

They gave you a version of the serum used on the winter soldiers, with their own upgrades of course. They incorporated it with the Extremis serum and that left you with a super soldier that can breathe fire. Phoenix, they called you. The ultimate weapon of death.

After briefing everyone on your situation, they woke you up. You stepped out of the chamber confused. You were met with unfamiliar yet kind faces that it overwhelmed you. You made a run for it and nearly burned down the entire medical wing before they tranquilized you again. You woke up in a small glass cell where they told you that they meant no harm. Somehow, you believed them.

That was a year and a half ago. Now, here you were walking around New York and trying your best to be part of society. After extensive amounts of therapy of course. You were on your way back when you saw an old man in a flower shop organizing his stalls. You were mesmerized by the flowers' beauty and found yourself crossing the street to get there.

"Looking for anything specific, ma'am?" he asked

"No, not really. Maybe something cheery?" God, why are you so socially awkward?

"Well, in that case," he said, "here are some sunflowers." He handed you a bouquet.

"My wife loves them. When she's upset, I get her these because they always look towards the sun and the color brightens up the room," he said with a smile.

"Thank you so much," you said as you handed him a $20 bill "Keep the change"

You were now back at the compound and you were rummaging through the kitchen in search of a vase. You didn't find any (Seriously? a state of the art training compound owned by a billionaire doesn't have a vase?)

"I guess a pitcher would do," you whispered to yourself as you headed to your room.

"What is that?" asked Tony.

"Sunflowers. Got it from the guy near the train station. It's a good metaphor when you think about it. They're always looking on the bright side. I didn't get many opportunities to go sunbathing when I was at HYDRA." you said with an awkward chuckle.

"Alright. Fair enough. I'm headed to MIT for the speech thingy. Wanna come?"

"Nah. I still have to catch up on culture." you giggled. Years of working for HYDRA also didn't give you a lot of me-time.

"Okay well if you change your mind, you know how to get there."

"Copy that."

You headed to your room. Yours. You actually owned something. You turned on your TV and scanned through the channels. Doctor Who reruns? Sure. Hours had passed and you've scanned through hundreds of channels. You decided to turn on some news in the background while you read.

"On breaking news, eleven Wakandans are amongst those confirmed dead after a violent clash between the Avengers and independent mercenaries in Nigeria." Your head bolted up and you reached for the remote to turn the volume up.

"Brock Rumlow, former SHIELD agent, led the team of mercenaries to procure a biological weapon being tested at the Center for Disease Control Nigeria Division. It was believed to be a suicide mission as eyewitness account said Rumlow wore a type of bomb in his vest. Avenger Wanda Maximoff contained the explosion only to have the blast thrown into a building killing a total of 30 people. We have yet to receive an official statement from the Avengers. More details tonight only on Channel 6 News at 8." You listened with intent and your heartbeat was beating fast. Those poor victims. Is the team on their way home? Are they okay? How is Wanda doing? Your mind formed a million questions.

"FRIDAY, call Steve Rogers." a faint ding let you know that your request is being done.

"Y/n." Oh, thank god he's okay.

"Steve! Are you guys alright? I saw what happened. I am so sorry."

"We're alright. Search and rescue was already on the scene when we left."

"How's Wanda? Do you need me to do anything?"

"Physically, she's safe, y/n. Emotionally? This is gonna take a toll on her."

"What about the others? Nat? Sam? You?"

"We're gonna be fine. We're on our way home."

You met the team on the law of the compound. They were visibly stunned and you cut through them to hug Wanda. She was your best friend and you know that this was going to affect her greatly. You were right. She locked herself in her room and the only thing you heard was the sound of the news and sobbing.

In his office, Steve kept replaying what had happened in Lagos. Knowing him, he was gonna blame himself for this. You wanted to leave him be but your concern for Wanda kept you standing by his doorway.

"Steve? You got a moment?"

"Y/n. Do you need anything?" he said as he paused the video on his computer.

"No. I just wanna say I'm sorry about Lagos. Sam and Nat told me what happened."

"It's not your fault, y/n. It's mine. Rumlow mentioned Bucky and all sense of the mission disappeared in my head."

"Don't blame yourself. Bucky was or is, your best friend and he's still missing. You have a right to have emotions."

"Thanks. I... uh... I needed that. Have you talked to Wanda yet?"

"No. Her room is locked. Maybe you should try talking to her. Both of us saw you as a mentor. She'll listen to you."

You gave him a faint smile and headed for the kitchen. Maybe some food could help them. You moved the vase of sunflowers from your room to the middle of the large dining table.

Tony walked in and asked everyone to meet in the conference room. He got the news as he was coming home from Massachusetts. After a brief interaction with a grieving mother and the news of the mission, he knew what he had to do.

Inside, you were met by General Ross and his assistant. Rhodey was already inside and the rest of the team followed suit. Wanda had stopped crying but you knew she would never get over this.

The general discussed the Sokovia Accords with the team. As much as you'd like to be on Steve's side, you knew the team needs to be put in check. One more incident like this and the world might lose their trust in you. You agreed with Tony. Rhodey and Sam were discussing, or perhaps fighting would be a better word, over the Accords. Tony just sat there looking like a rebellious teen listening to his parents' lectures.

To prove a point, Tony showed the team a picture of Charlie Spencer. He died in Sokovia after Ultron planned to drive the human race into extinction. You felt your heart drop. He just wanted to do some good and he was caught in the crossfire.

At that point, the fighting and bantering was too much and you just zoned everyone out. You wanted to cry and you knew that the team was slowly drifting apart. Steve walked out after receiving a text. You didn't ask why. He has a private life after all.

You decided to take your frustrations out on the punching bags. You finally had a home. A family. But you feel the world caving in around you. With one last punch, the punching bag came flying through the room engulfed in flames. You fell to your knees as tears clouded your vision. Dum-E, who Tony programmed to follow you around with a fire extinguisher as a joke, finally put his programming to use.

"Y/n." a familiar voice called to you

"Nat. Hey." you struggled through the tears.

"Talk to me."

"I- I just want the team to stay together. You guys are the only family I have."

"Me too, y/n. I used to have nothing till I found this family."

"I want to help. What can I do to help?"

"I'm off to Vienna for the signing of the Accords. I'm meeting Steve on the way to try and change his mind. Maybe you can help."

"I'll try."

Nat took you to a cathedral. Steve was on the other end by himself. He looks... tired. On the altar was a picture of Agent Carter.

"Oh. That's why he left."

"Hi, Steve. I just wanna say I am so sorry for your loss," you said as you walked towards him.

"Nat. Y/n. What are you doing here?"

"We didn't want you to be alone and I'm also taking y/n with me to Vienna for the signing of the Accords."

"There's plenty of room on the jet," you said

"Who else signed?"

"Tony, Rhodey, Vision."

"Wanda?"

"TBA."

"Clint?"

"He said he's retired."

"There's still time to change your mind, Steve. Come with us to Vienna." you pleaded one last time

"You know why I can't do this y/n. If I sign, we're surrendering our freedom to people with agendas different from ours."

You felt a lump in your throat. "I'll be in the car." You said to Nat as you turned around not looking at Steve once as you walked out of the church.

"She hates me now, doesn't she?"

"No, she doesn't. She's just scared."

Nat was right. As always. You got in the car and tried to meditate. You didn't want to cry. Not when cameras surrounded you. You tried to steady your breathing but your brain seemed to do the exact opposite.

~~~Flashback~~~

"Injecting serum in five seconds." an emotionless voice said. You tried to break free but you were strapped down to the table. Even if you weren't, it was like you were trapped in your own mind. You couldn't move. The next few hours were a blur to you. The only thing you remember was the excruciating pain coursing through your veins.

"Serum successfully administered."

"Good. Take her to the cell for the remainder of the process."

You woke up in a pool of sweat inside a dark room. Alone. Like you have been since you were a kid. You don't remember much of it. Sometimes you see your parents in your dreams. You were 5 years old and they took you to the park. Your mom was helping you get to the other end of the monkey bars while your dad went to get snow cones. You were happy. But that memory was soon followed by the sound of gunshots and screaming. You couldn't understand what was said but you didn't need to be a genius to know it was full of anger. Your mom told you to hide and you did. But they found you anyway. Since then, you were subjected to vigorous training. You now know 30 languages and deadly fighting skills. You became a weapon and today was the final step of your transformation. Eleven years of training and they deemed you ready. After they reprogrammed your brain to be obedient, of course.

The man in the army uniform handed you a folder. "Your first mission, soldatin," he said, "Procure the obelisk. No survivors. No witnesses. You have 48 hours. Report back here as soon as it is finished." You nodded and opened the folder. It was of a tiny village at the base of the Swiss Alps. In the middle of it was the said obelisk encased in glass. You took a handful of soldiers with you and you headed for the village.

You succeeded in your mission. The obelisk was safely placed inside a containment unit in the jet. The village was burned to the ground. Bodies were piled on the streets and the only sign of life was your team and a handful of livestock the villagers kept. With that, you headed back.

"Very good, soldatin. Go with the doctor." and like the good soldier that you were, you walked behind the man in the lab coat.

You passed by a few offices on your way to the medical wing. Amongst other things, the serum enhanced your hearing. The faintest whispers sounded like normal talking.

"You heard about the mission?"

"Yeah. I heard y/l/n didn't even show mercy for those villagers." the voice chuckled.

"Bettenhauser's gonna be pleased." said another.

"I bet. He and y/f/l/n worked together on the program and seeing it do its purpose mus be so satisfying"

"Her father was an asset for us. That was before he betrayed us, though."

"Well, we got her now. She is an even bigger asset than her father ever was."

You kept walking and you ended up in a room with four other people in coats. In the middle of a room was a large glass case with a chair.

"Step inside the chamber, soldatin. You need to rest." and just like that, your feet dragged you inside. One of the coats placed a mask on you amongst other things. You felt your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and heavier. Gone.

The glass chamber now safely enclosed your unconscious body. Your body was now as cold as ice.

~~~End of flashback~~~

Since that first mission, you had killed hundreds of people for HYDRA. Innocent people. They haunt your dreams to this day but what's done is done. All you could do is help as many as you can.

You were taken out of your trance by the sound of the car door closing. Nat now sat beside you.

"Eagle Hangar please," she said to the driver

The drive to the hangar was silent. So was the flight to Vienna.

"Here goes nothing," you said to Nat as the elevator doors opened. World leaders were gathered in the room and cameras were flashing everywhere. A lady with a clipboard checked you in and quickly walked away.

"I see you are not fans of the spotlight." said the man in the suit. You later learned his name was T'Challa. Prince of Wakanda.

"It isn't very flattering," Nat said to him.

"Well, considering your last trip to Capitol Hill, you seem to be doing great so far." you chuckled at his response. You read about that months ago. You even saw it on YouTube on "Black Widow most iconic moments compilation.

"You don't seem like a big fan as well." You told him

"The accords, yes. The politics? not very. Two men in the same room can get more done than a hundred."

"Unless you need to move a piano." the voice behind you said

"King T'Chaka. This is Y/n Y/l/n. Allow us to apologize for what happened in Nigeria."

"Thank you, Ms. Romanoff. I'm sad to hear Captain Rogers won't be joining us."

"That makes three of us." You replied to him.

Just then, you heard a voice come on through the speakers asking everyone to take a seat. King T'Chaka was giving a statement when both yours and Nat's attention was drawn to his son who was looking out the window.

"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!" He screamed as he bolted for his father.

Like instinct, you threw yourself in front of Nat. It's something that you started doing after you joined the team. You thought after all the lives you've taken, protecting as many as you can could "wipe the red off your ledger" as Nat put it. You were a very effective human shield as a result of the serums. You weren't immortal nor did you have instantaneous healing due to the reaction between the two serums but you still healed faster compared to average humans. You felt a spray of glass cut through your skin and a searing heat touched your skin. Search and rescue came after the explosion and took you and Nat to get medical attention. You were perfectly fine but Nat had a few cuts and bruises. In typical Nat fashion, she walked it off like it was nothing.

You were taken to a tent to get a fresh set of clothes while Nat talked to Prince T'Challa, now king under horrible circumstances. When you got out, he was gone and she was on the phone.

A few minutes later, your phone rang.

Captain Grandpa calling...

you dropped the call and went to check on NAt

~~~BUCHAREST~~~

News outlets revealed Sargeant Barnes, Bucky, was behind the bombing. You knew Steve was gonna go after him. He'd been looking for Bucky since SHIELD fell. Now, he found him in Romania. Orders were given to shoot him on sight and Steve wouldn't let that happen.

~~~BERLIN~~~

Bucky was now in custody.

"What part of don't make things worse didn't you understand?" you asked Steve

You were in one of the offices watching Bucky getting evaluated by the doctor. You were in the other room talking to Tony about what would happen to your teammates.

"We're lucky they aren't in jail," he said

This was all too much. You went to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. You hadn't slept in 24 hours nor eaten anything. You looked in the mirror and fixed your hair as best you could.

BLACKOUT.

What was happening? You ran out and saw a lot of commotion.

"Get me eyes on Barnes," yelled Everett Ross.

You saw Nat and Tony walking towards the exit.

"What happened? What can I do?" you asked

"Don't know. We need to find Barnes." Tony said

"Please tell me you brought a suit," said Nat

"Sure did. It's a lovely Tom Ford three-piece two-button. I'm on active duty non-combatant."

Just as he said that Agent Carter, the younger, ran past you "follow me," she said. The three of you did and she led you to the facility's lobby.

You had never met Sgt. Barnes but from what Steve told you, he was a good man. The person you saw in the lobby was not him. He reminded you of your time at HYDRA. Cold and merciless. A soldier.

Sharon and Nat ran in and tried to fight him to no avail. You managed to get him down but he pinned you n the floor. He was trying to choke you and as a last effort to break free, you took a deep breath and exhaled a stream of fire. He dodged out of the way and you managed to get up. The next thing you saw was T'Challa going after him. You set fire to the staircase to slow him down but he still got away

You went outside only to see Steve on the rooftop pulling a helicopter from the sky. Sometimes you forget that he's a super-soldier just like you.

"Y/n coordinate evac. Get civilians as far away as you can," said Tony through comms. You wanted to help Steve but you got your orders.

~~~Fast forward to Berlin~~~

You did what Tony said and got civilians to a safe distance. When you went to meet with Nat and Tony, they told you Steve and Bucky were gone. They assumed Sam was with them too.

~~~Steve's POV~~~

"This would've been a lot easier a week ago," said Sam

"If we call Tony or maybe y/n--" he cut you off

"Who knows if the accords will let them help." he had a point. After everything that's happened, the UN would not listen to them even if they found out about Zemo.

"We're on our own."

"Maybe not." you looked at him questioningly. "I know a guy"

~~~End of POV~~~

You were now back in a conference room with General Ross. He gave you 36 hours to bring the three men in. He wouldn't hesitate to kill Steve if it meant bringing Barnes in.

"My left arm is numb. Is that normal?" he asked. Nat put her hand on his shoulder.

"You alright?" she asked

"Always." you knew that was a lie. Numbness in the left arm was a sign of a heart attack. But he's Tony. he could be bleeding to death and still say witty sarcastic remarks. You wish he didn't do that. You wished he'd open up to you more. "36 hours. Geez."

"We're seriously understaffed," said Nat. It was just the three of you there now.

"Would be great if we had a hulk right about now. Any shot?" Nat shook her head

Not even the Hulk. It would be nice if just Bruce and Thor were there. Maybe things wouldn't be as bad. Bruce and Thor would've deescalated matters before you could say Mjolnir.

"You really think he would be on our side?" she asked. You hadn't thought of that but knowing Bruce, he would want the team to be together.

"I have an idea." Said Nat

"ME too. Where's yours?

"Downstairs. Where's yours?" said tony.

~~~QUEENS~~~

"Spiderman? really?" you asked Tony in the car.

"HE stopped a 3000 lbs car going 40 miles an hour wit his bare hands and he swings from webs."

"But he's dressed in a red hoodie and swim goggles." you chuckled. It was probably the lightest moment you had in the last week alone.

You and Tony knocked on the apartment door. It was answered by a middle-aged woman. She was beautiful honestly. She had those kind motherly eyes that reminded you of your mom.

"Hi. I'm Tony Stark. This is y/n y/l/n. Is Mr. Parker here? we have some good news for him." Tony sad

"I'm May., his aunt and no he's not here. He should be home soon though. You're welcome to wait." she invited you in and served you some walnut and date bread. It was horrible but you didn't have the heart to tell her. she was so nice.

"So what is this good news you're here about?" she asked. Tony didn't actually tell you what his plan was. Not in full anyways so you were just as curious as her.

"Oh its a grant from the September foundation that he applied for. I approved." as far as bullshit made-on-the-spot excuses go, that was pretty good.

"Oh, he never told me that.

"He probably wanted to surprise you," you said to her

"Probably. Are you also a receiver of the grant?" she asked

"No. I'm interested in how the foundation is run so I asked to be here" she nodded. You didn't think she'd buy it but she did. Just as he said that the front door opens and a young guy walked in. He couldn't have been much younger than you. He had his earphones n and he was going on about this nice car parked outside. Tony's of course.

He saw the three of you on the sofa and he was clearly starstruck upon seeing Tony. He couldn't even speak without stuttering. He repeated his excuse to Peter and he surprisingly went along with it. Tony asked for five minutes alone with him and you were left in the living room with Aunt May. When they got out of the room, Peter informed his aunt that Tony invited him to the compound to talk more about the internship. You knew it was a lie of course because just a few hours later, Peter was standing next to you on the car to the airport.

~~~BERLIN~~~

Vision informed you that Clint came to get Wanda at the compound. Immediately, you knew this wasn't gonna end well. You don't want to fight her but you don't have a choice

As a last effort, you tried calling Steve but hews just declining your calls. Eventually, none of them would even go through.

~~~Fast forward~~~

"Steve, you know what's about to happen. Do you really want to punch your way out of this one?" Nat said.

"Just come with us. Please," you pleaded. He looked at the both of you

"Alright, I've run out of patience. Underoos!" yelled tony. just as he did, Peter grabbed Steve's should and landed on top of the helicopter

"Nice job kid"

"Thanks. I could've stuck the landing a little better. It's just the new suit but it's perfect, Mr. Stark" he went on this babbling for about 45 seconds. You thought it was funny.

~~~

"I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart," Tony said. You wanted the same thing. You all do.

"You did that when you signed," said Steve

"You're gonna turn Barnes over and you're gonna come with us now because it's us" You could hear the sadness and frustration in Tony's voice. "Come on" he whispered

You heard Sam's voice through Steve's earpiece "We found it. The quintet is in hangar five. North runway." you let out a deep breath. This was it. Steve raised his arm as Redwing cut through his restraints.

"Alright Lang," said Steve

"What the hell was that?" asked Rhodes

"I believe this is yours, Captain America"

"Oh great. There's two on the parking deck. One of them is Maximoff. I'm gonna go grab her. Y/n come with me. Rhodey, wanna take Cap?" said Tony as he grabbed you by the arm and flew towards Wanda... and Clint?

"There's two on the terminal. Wilson and Barnes"

"Barnes is mine," said T'Challa

~~~Fast Forward~~~

"Wanda. I think you hurt Vision's feelings"

"You locked me in my room."

"I did it to protect you."

"Wanda, stop this now. I don't want to fight you but you know I will."

"I can't live in fear anymore, y/n." and with that, she used her powers to drop cars at you.

"I'm done playing nice. You want a fight? I'll give you a fight." you said as you aimed fireblasts at her and Clint.

A fight has now ensued between the two teams. Tony attached a miniaturized jet pack to your back so you could chase after the others. Steve and the others were making a run for the hangar when Vision used his laser to stop them in their tracks. You landed in front of them, skin now glowing red from the fire inside you. The others followed suit.

"You must surrender now." Vision's voice thundered over you despite being in an open space. You were now face to face with your friends.

"What do we do, Cap?" asked Sam

"We fight."

"This isn't gonna end well," whispered Nat

"They're not stopping," said Peter

"Neither are we."

a/n: what do you guys think? I hope you like it. it's my first time writing fanfic. criticism would be greatly appreciated. part two coming soon depending on the response to this...

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thestuckylibrary · 5 years ago

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Group Ask 132

What is a group ask?

Previous Group Asks

AO3 Search Tutorial

Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

Anon 1 said:

hey!!! ok so this is SUPER vague but it was a oneshot i read back in 2016/early 2017 and it was something like the avengers travelling through steves memories or something???? I'm not sure if the memories were bucky related because i remember at the end bucky is there????? sorry for how vague this is but it might be post cacw and vision might be involved but if u can't find this no worries!!!!!

orchidsrule sent in Mindstones and Other Malfunctions* by HunterPeverell (complete | 21,025 | E) *rape/noncon, heed the tags

Anon 2 said:

hey where’s that fic where ppl dig up bucky and think he’s steve?

Anon, abarbaricyalp, dragonflybeach and gwydions sent in Seven times Steve Rogers was not what everyone expected him to be (+1 time he really, really wasn't what everyone expected him to be) by StuckySituation (complete | 3,515 | T)

buckysxmetalxarm said:

Hi, sorry, I tried looking through ao3 tags searching a/b/o, omega!steve alpha!bucky, mpreg but I don't remember enough bout the fic to find it :/ I kno it’s a/b/o & Steve‘s an Omega and he’s pregnant, (was since before the ice but didn’t know it) & the Winter Soldier is really attracted to his scent & Steve doesn't know why cause other Alphas shouldn't like the smell of pregnant Omegas that aren't theirs but like it is Bucky's so he likes it? That's all I remember? Sorry & thank you in advance!

Anon 3 said:

Hey a few years ago I read a long ass stucky fic. The author used “real” events from the mcu but added much more detail. Eg they wrote missions w the howling commando etc. back then it wasn’t completed and somehow lost is. In a chapter where Steve was on his first (?) mission (the one where he was looking for buck) and Came back with Bucky. During that time they already made some experiments w Buck and he was starting to feel weird while staying in a tent w Cap?? I was wondering if you know which one I mean and if yes is it still up?? What’s it called??

Anon 4 said:

I'm having a hard time finding this fic- I think it was a pwp where Bucky like accidentally Pavlov'd Steve into getting hard every time he put his hair up? Does anyone know what I'm talking about asdfghjkl

getstucky and Anon sent in Classical Conditioning by johnboyegabombs (oneshot | 424 | M)

Anon sent in knee jerk by mcwho (oneshot | 530 | M)

deep-dark-purple said: (sex work)

Trying to find a College/Dom!Steve/Sub!Bucky/prostitute!Bucky/John!SteveAU that Ive lost & Ive had no luck Bucky is hustling through college(TJ era)and Steve(big/older)is going back & they meet in science class/go to group study sessions I think & then catch feelings Meanwhile theres a lot of rope tying(Steve took classes to do)& a scene I remember vividly is where Bucky comes but Steve purposely makes it so Bucky doesnt get the release of it though Bucky says something like You ruined it & sobs

Anon sent in Ain't No Rest for the Wicked* by Kellyscams (complete | 305,786 | E) */others, sex work, alcohol

Anon 5 said:

Could you help me with this particular fic that happened after Civil War it's basically Steve taking Bucky to an isolated place while getting rid of Bucky's winter soldier activation code-- Steve gets hurt a lot before he finally made it through the entire code without Bucky going violent. Thanks!

Anon sent in après nous le déluge by tomorrowsrain (complete | 9,257 | T )

Anon 6 said:

I’ve been looking for this fic for ages - modern times but canon compliant up until tws. I think the fic is post-tws. Bucky finds a pregnant cat (or cat with kittens?) and keeps it. He then later on gives each kitten to an avenger and, i believe, keeps momma cat. I’m not sure how stucky centric it is

sweet-nightingale-96 said:

Hi, I was wondering if you can help me find a fic. In this fic Bucky has escaped hydra before Steve wakes up. Bucky has no memories of his time in Hydra, but he is there when Steve becomes an Avenger. I believe the story was called The Red Star, or something like that. But I’m not sure. I do remember it retelling the movies from Avengers (2012) and onward with Bucky in it, if that helps?

Anon 7 said:

hi there was this one fix where Steve and Bucky were fwb in the 40s and Steve confessed to Bucky he shot Steve down thinking he was protecting him and fast forward to the present where Bucky doesn't remember what he did to Steve only that they were intimate

princessniitza sent in chapter 10 of Ain’t No Grave (Can Keep My Body Down)* by spitandvinegar (restricted, complete | 107,076 | M) *past rape/noncon, heed the tags

Anon 8 said:

I'm looking for a fic where bucky moves in with Steve who's a retired captain and the entire fic they're learning how to be roomies while also pining and at one point bucky is in a bathtub full of kittens and i can't remember the title for the life of me. Any thoughts?

bennettmp339, teenagemutantninjamushroom and therandomravenclw sent in Critical Feline Mass by Kryptaria, rayvanfox (complete | 39,533 | T)

Anon 9 said:

Hi! Ive gone deep In my ao3 history and in your post caws tag and I just can’t seem to find this fic I’m looking for. I just can’t recall the fic description. What I remember from it is Bucky sneaking into the avengers tower & only Steve knows for a while and Bucky always gets high on Steve’s Tranquilizer lollipops. At the end Bucky confesses he’s loved Steve the whole time & Steve gets upset & beats up punching bags. This has been a week long search & I hope it’s findable!

bennettmp339, teenagemutantninjamushroom and ice-whisper sent in Sparked Up Like a Book of Matches by Sena (oneshot | 26,734 | M)

tygerblaze said:

It was Stucky, where Tony sees Bucky undergo the chair torture by General Ross. Decides, I’m gonnna break him out, cause no one deserves that. He calls Steve from the road while Bucky is recovering in the car, it becomes a slight road trip and Bucky becomes friends with Tony. Not sure if it’s post civil war or post tws.

Anon, itsagentromanoff, dragonflybeach and getstucky sent in i need a forest fire by tomorrowsrain (complete | 65,815 | T)

Anon 10 said: (sex work)

I'm dying- I can't find this fic and I don't remember a whole lot. I think Steve was a small dom and had Bucky as a client (I think?) and they were trying like binding (?) and Bucky safeworded and left in a panic and it led to Steve dropping. Bucky came back and was like "?? is this top drop are you dropping" and Steve was like "yeah" and I can't remember anything after that lmao I could've sworn one of the tags was topdrop but I couldn't find it and I... need help ty <3

time-lord-no-more, Anon, lesbianhozier and princessniitza sent in we are the things that we do for fun* by Nonymos (complete | 35,585 | E) *sex work

Anon 11 said: (rape/noncon)

Hi, I`m searching for a fic it was from Ao3. Bucky and Steve had a relationship before. The Winter Soldier is brought back to the tower. At some point he is in a room together with Steve. The other looking at them via cameras. The WS has manipulated the look at the door so Steve can´t get out of the room an the others can´t get in. The WS/Bucky forces himself on Steve, who doesn´t fight back, because Steve thinks when Bucky is totally himself again he would be terrified of his actions otherwise.

Anon sent in Even When I Had Nothing* by AnnaFugazzi (complete | 57,457 | unrated) *cw noncon ; extremely dark themes ; extreme angst ; abusive relationship

#group asks

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charsimatic · 6 years ago

Note

All the super detailed questions for Faye please

YES. PLEASE. I am all for this!

My bby.

1. What’s their full name? Why was that chosen? Does it mean anything?

“My name is Faye Elizabeth Ross. I’m not sure why my mom and dad chose my name, other than my mom liked fairies and my grandmother’s name was Elizabeth, for the middle name. I like it, though!”

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

“Uh…titles? I’m a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, fiance, and mother. Do those count?”

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

“I LOVED my childhood, most of it anyway. I remember my mom and dad taking me and my sisters to Six Flags one summer. I was maybe 3? 4? So I couldn’t ride all the big rides Mads and Jaymie were riding cause I wasn’t tall enough, and I was SO mad. So my dad put me up on his shoulders and took me to go get ice cream. We hid it from my sisters!

Everyone knows the bad memory, but if you want me to refresh it, the last thing I remember seeing is trees rushing up towards the window.”

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents?

“My relationship with them was great. I have lots of memories where I was giggling and laughing and smiling, I was just an overall happy kid.”

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

“I have two older sisters, Madlaina and Jaymie. When we were kids, Mads and I didn’t get along AT ALL. I think it was the age difference. She tried to boss me around and I wouldn’t take it, and that would piss her off! She’s 11 years older than me. Jaymie and I have always gotten along. Jaymie was thrilled to have a little sister, and treated me more like a delicate baby doll and loved to play with me. I went to her for advice for everything. Since becoming adults, my relationship with Mads has gotten better, but she’s so busy with her career I hardly ever get to see her. We try to talk every day though!”

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

“I was pretty average, I think. I listened, but I got busted for talking. I got a detention for fighting another girl on the playground once, cause she called me a dumb blonde. I enjoyed it, and I did graduate high school, which was a challenge, because I had Sophia in my senior year. I decided not to go to college to focus on her, but now that I’m getting married and everything and will soon have FIVE kids to support rather than one, I’d like to go back to school for something.”

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood?

“I was pretty outgoing, so I made friends easily. Keeping them was harder, especially after the accident. They didn’t know what to say to me. Two of my friends stayed in my life for the long haul- my fiance, Freeman, and my best friend AND maid of honor, Braylee! The three of us hung out all the time as kids and have always been close. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals?

“We had a dog growing up named Missy. She was a lab and the sweetest dog ever. She died when I was five, though, she was old. I now have a dog with my family.”

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

“I think so, my dog seems to love me! I also had an asshole cat, well, my sister did, who wouldn’t leave me alone when I lived with her. He was SO rude, but he loved me.”

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

“I LOVE children and I LOVE having children! While they drive me insane on a regular basis, they also bring me incredible joy and they are FUNNY.

I try to be as laid back as possible with my kids, but my anxiety has been bad lately with Freeman’s job, so I think that went out the window.”

11. Do they have any special diet requirements? Are they a vegetarian? Vegan? Have any allergies?

“Nope.”

12. What is their favourite food?

“Food in general. Especially right now. Pregnant with twins? I’ll eat anything you put in front of me.”

13. What is their least favourite food?

“KALE. Who in their right mind eats that stuff?”

14. Do they have any specific memories of food/a restaurant/meal?

“My mom’s tater tot casserole. She made it for all of us, usually on Sunday’s. All three of us have the recipe, I just haven’t had the chance to make it yet. It is SO. GOOD.”

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

“Eh…I’m getting better, since I have to cook for the kids most nights right now, whenever Freeman is on a job or working late. I used to absolutely suck at it.”

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it?

“I don’t, really. Unless it’s deer things. I like deer.”

17. Do they like to take photos? What do they like to take photos of? Selfies? What do they do with their photos?

“When you have young kids, you have more photos than you know what to do with.”

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

“Romance, romance, pop and country, comedy and drama, romance, and eh, I don’t really play video games.”

19. What’s their least favourite genres?

“Horror. And rap. Enough said.”

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

“I LOVE musicals! I’ve made Freeman watch a few with me too! I’m always listening to music- when I’m cooking, cleaning, driving, whatever. And I dance. Badly. I make it a point to dance as terribly as I can. My kids hate it.”

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

“I was very quick to anger for a while, and sometimes, I still can be, but I’ve been actively trying to take a deep breath or walk away if I can until I’m not as angry anymore. I cry when I lose my temper and start screaming.”

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

“I playfully insult my sisters. I’ll call them bitch, asshole, stuff like that, but I really don’t like to actually insult people.”

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

“Next question. Sore subject.”

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

“I sleep okay now, but for a while after the incident I slept like absolute shit. I tossed and turned and had nightmares every night. Now, with two almost preteens, a toddler, and twins in my tummy? I sleep like the dead.

Also, I like to sleep on Freeman.” *Grins*

25. What do they find funny? Do they have a good sense of humour? Are they funny themselves?

“I find a lot of things funny, and I think I have a pretty good sense of humor. I don’t know if I’m funny, but I make people laugh cause I can’t get through a joke or story without cracking myself up, and that makes other people laugh, so.”

26. How do they act when they’re happy? Do they sing? Dance? Hum? Or do they hide their emotions?

“I sing, dance, hum, smile, I get really loving and cuddly, too.”

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

“Uh, what doesn’t make me sad? You know those EVIL commercials they play to try and get you to donate to animal shelters? Water works. I don’t really hide it, unless it’s something big that I’m not ready to explain to my children. I get really mopey or irritable, and I get angry at myself for not being able to snap out of it.”

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

“Losing my family and children. It’s happened before and they had to give me a tranquilizer.”

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective?

“Middle? I dunno. I try to help them if I can, or try to soothe their fears.”

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

“I do exercise. I gained a LOT of weight in the hospital and hated myself, and I’ve finally gotten to a place where I’m happy.”

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

“I don’t really drink, but I’ve gotten tipsy a couple times with Braylee over girls night.”

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

“I’m a mom, I dress like a mom!” *Laughs* “I try to find things that are 1- on sale, 2- cute, and 3- comfortable. Bonus if it can be easily washed because I’m clumsy and, again, I have a toddler.”

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

“Comfy granny panties if I’m lounging around the house or it’s shark week. Lacey when I’m uh…” *Clears throat* “I’ve also been known to wear Freeman’s boxers, but that sorta…drives him wild…so I have to be careful.”

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

“Slim but curvy. Curves came after kiddos. My dancer body is all but gone.”

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure?

“Guilty pleasure? Dance moms. Sorry not sorry, I’m sucked into the drama and I love critiquing the dances. Unguilty pleasure? Chocolate. Who doesn’t love chocolate?”

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

“GOODNESS no, I can’t sing. But I do still like to dance a bit, and bake.”

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

“I read every night before bed. I’ve been reading forever, so I read pretty quickly. I like fiction. I don’t really like poetry.”

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

“I wish I could sing! My niece, Emily, can sing, but she doesn’t plan on doing anything with it, which makes me sad.

I admire truthfulness, kindness, and a soft heart. That’s hard to keep.”

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

“Freeman and I leave each other little love letters all the time!”

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

“Coffee, and I drink it throughout the day because I’m trying to keep up with Caleb, organize the girls schedules, and get them to and from their sports and stuff. I just started driving again, it was a necessity.”

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

“My sexuality is Freeman!” *Giggles* “Look at him. That’s what I find attractive. He’s hot. He’s also incredibly loving and caring, hilarious, and a fantastic father to our children. He’s also..” *Breaths and blushes, fanning herself* “Amazing. In bed.”

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

“I want to raise my children to the best of my ability and make sure they’re healthy and happy. I would sacrifice anything for them. And my secret ambition? I’ve been thinking more and more of opening a cafe…”

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

“I believe in God. He’s saved me and my family quite a few times. I don’t…think anything of non-religious people? Believe whatever you’d like, it’s not harming me or anyone else.”

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most?

“Season, summer. Weather, a good mix between sunny and rainy. I’m better in the heat, and I complain when it’s too cold!”

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

“I don’t know how others see me. I hope they like what they see!”

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

“I just try to be myself and be approachable.”

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

“I don’t mind dressing up every now and then. It makes you feel good. Pretty. But I usually can’t wait to kick off my heels and curl up in my pjs as soon as we get home!”

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

“I like having friends over, but I’ve never really been a party-er”

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

“A shirt of my mom’s and my dad’s watch. They’re both in my closet, in a safe.”

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

“Clothing for daytime and sleeping, shoes, sunglasses, chargers, first aid kit. And a book. And a sippy cup!”

#Faye Ross #Anonymous #Fayeman

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stephenmccull · 4 years ago

Text

How Schools Can Help Kids Heal After the Pandemic’s Uncertainty

Kai Humphrey, 9, has been learning from home for more than a year. He badly misses his Washington, D.C., elementary school, along with his friends and the bustle of the classroom.

This story is part of a reporting partnership that includes NPR and Illinois Public Media. It can be republished for free.

“I will be the first person ever to have every single person in the world as my friend,” he said on a recent Zoom call, his sandy-brown hair hanging down to his shoulder blades. From Kai, this kind of proclamation doesn’t feel like bragging, more like exuberant kindness.

But when Kai’s school recently invited him back, he refused. That’s because his worry list is long, topped by his fear of getting covid-19 and giving it to his 2-year-old sister, Alaina. She was born with a heart condition, Down syndrome and a fragile immune system. To her, the disease poses a mortal threat, and he is her protector, the only one who can make her giggle breathlessly.

Kai also worries about being separated from his mom, Rashida Humphrey-Wall. His biological father died in 2014, and she remains his rock, his mama bear and occasional taekwondo partner. He sometimes visits her bedside, in the middle of the night, just to check on her.

This pandemic has been stressful for millions of children like Kai. Some have lost a loved one to covid, and many families have lost jobs, their homes and even reliable access to food. If that stress isn’t buffered by caring adults, it can have lifelong consequences.

“Kids have had extended exposure to chaos, crisis and uncertainty,” said Dr. Matt Biel, a child psychiatrist at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital.

But there’s some good news for kids like Kai: Educators across the country say their top priority right now isn’t doubling down on math or reading — it’s helping students manage pandemic-driven stress.

“If kids don’t return to school and get a lot of attention paid to security, safety, predictability and reestablishing of strong, secure relationships, [they] are not gonna be able to make up ground academically,” Biel said.

Promoting Mental Wellness in the Classroom

To reestablish relationships in the classroom — and help kids cope with the stress and trauma of the past year — mental health experts say educators can start by building in time every day, for every student, in every classroom to share their feelings and learn the basics of naming and managing their emotions. Think morning circle time or, for older students, homeroom.

At Irene C. Hernandez Middle School in Chicago, teacher Lilian Sackett starts off each day by checking in with students, then diving into a short lesson on mindfulness and other social-emotional skills.

The school is in a predominantly Latino area that was hit hard by the pandemic, Sackett said. She teaches English as a second language, and she learned that many of her students’ families were dealing with a lot of stress related to job losses and illness — that’s on top of any trauma that may have predated the pandemic.

“We need to allow the students to share their experiences with the pandemic and to give them that safe space [to] talk about it,” Sackett said.

What’s more, she said, children can benefit a lot from just a few minutes each day of classwide calm. When she found out her students love Bob Ross and his tranquil, televised painting lessons from the 1980s and ’90s, Sackett decided to work him into their morning routine.

“We watch five minutes of Bob Ross, and we watch the whole painting session within one week,” she explained. “When they’re having fun, they’re so excited — they’ll learn anything you throw at them.”

Sackett said her approach was informed by a virtual training, provided by Chicago’s Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital, that focused on the impacts of trauma on children.

“They mentioned a bad grade is never about a lazy kid,” she said. If a child is struggling academically, they may be dealing with really tough circumstances at home. Sackett learned that teachers can help by creating a supportive environment that fosters resilience.

Sheyla Ramirez, an eighth grader at Sackett’s school, has benefited a lot from daily check-ins with her teacher. Last fall, her family came down with covid, and her baby sister ended up hospitalized before she recovered. Sheyla’s uncle had died after testing positive for the virus months earlier. She said it was a really stressful time, especially for her sister in third grade.

“My sister was like, ‘Oh, I don’t want to die,'” Sheyla remembered. “I didn’t know what to tell her because I was in shock, too.”

School staff members routinely checked in to see if she or her family needed anything, and they offered to connect Sheyla with a school counselor. But Sheyla said the short daily lessons in mindfulness at the start of each school day — and being able to share her feelings and concerns with her teacher — were enough to help her get through.

“They’ve been doing an excellent job,” said Sheyla’s mom, Amparo Ramirez. “I’ve been telling them, ‘I’m thankful for you being here.'”

When More Serious Help Is Needed

For many kids, a little morning circle time with a caring teacher, or an occasional chat with a school counselor is all they need. And the more schools invest in promoting mental health and equipping children with social-emotional skills, the fewer children will go on to develop more serious problems, said child psychiatrist Biel.

But there will always be children who need more intensive interventions, which could involve school social workers and psychologists, when available, or a referral to a mental health professional beyond the school.

Kai has been talking regularly with a therapist through his elementary school. And he said she has helped him come up with strategies to manage his stress at home.

“I would go in my room, lay on my bed, and either watch TV or play with my toys or do something like that,” Kai said. “And then I’ll come back out when I’m more calm and happy.”

As a solo parent, Kai’s mom, Humphrey-Wall, has also had a tough year. She admitted that looking after two kids, in addition to taking on a new job, during a pandemic has been stressful. “In the beginning, I think I had depression, anxiety … anything you can think of, I probably had it.”

Biel said that kind of stress can trickle down to children.

“All of the best evidence-based practices in the world are not going to have the desired effect if that child is living in a family that’s overwhelmed by stress,” he explained.

One of the best ways to address that is to also help caregivers, like Humphrey-Wall. And that’s exactly what Kai’s school has done. Through a partnership with MedStar Georgetown Center for Wellbeing in School Environments, Kai’s school arranged for Humphrey-Wall to meet with a clinical psychologist once a week for what they call “parent wellbeing sessions.”

Without it, she said, “I don’t know what I would have done, really.”

Partnerships between schools and mental health care providers can be expensive for districts and may not be an option in rural or under-resourced areas where there simply aren’t enough child-focused services.

Biel said he’s hopeful the rise in telehealth will help. But whatever the solution, he said, schools need support as they explore their options.

“Schools can’t beg, borrow and steal from what they already have to do this,” Biel said. “We need to support schools and school systems with more resources to make this possible.”

Federal Help for Schools

For districts that want to do more, the latest covid relief package could be a big help. The American Rescue Plan contains roughly $122 billion for K-12 schools, some of which can be used to hire more counselors, social workers and psychologists. And one U.S. senator has been pushing the Biden administration to emphasize mental health as it guides districts on how to spend that money.

“Not all schools and districts are equipped to work on these complex mental and behavioral health issues and meet the unique needs of today’s students,” Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto wrote in a letter to the secretaries of the U.S. Departments of Education and Health and Human Services. “Many suffer from drastic shortages of counselors, social workers, and psychologists to work with students even under normal circumstances. They will need robust assistance from community-based service providers and the health care community.”

Cortez Masto said a recent spate of student suicides in one county in her state, Nevada, underscores just how urgent the needs are.

“This is a unique situation we’re in, hopefully a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic,” she said. “We don’t know the impact it’s going to have long term [on] our kids. But we know the short term. I’ve seen it here in southern Nevada and its devastating consequence here. So we’ve got to change that dynamic.”

In the U.S., where access to health care — especially for children’s mental health — is inequitable and inconsistent, the difficult work of identifying and tending to the mental and emotional health of this pandemic generation will fall largely on the shoulders of educators.

Programs like the one at Kai’s school, in Washington, D.C., could play a critical role in helping change that dynamic. Cortez Masto hopes the flood of federal relief dollars will help other districts create similar partnerships with child mental health providers, or find other solutions.

In the meantime, Kai and his mom are trying to figure out when Kai will return to in-person school. Humphrey-Wall said it would be good for her son to get out of the house, but Kai still fears bringing covid home. He’s talking it through with his school-based therapist, doing his best to give those worries a roundhouse kick:

“We all need to be free from this quarantine. I’m going crazy. I want to be free!” Kai shouted. He’s eager to get back to the business of making friends with the entire world.

If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 (en español: 1-888-628-9454; deaf and hard of hearing: dial 711, then 1-800-273-8255) or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

This story is part of a reporting partnership that includes NPR, Illinois Public Media and Kaiser Health News.

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. Together with Policy Analysis and Polling, KHN is one of the three major operating programs at KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation). KFF is an endowed nonprofit organization providing information on health issues to the nation.

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gordonwilliamsweb · 4 years ago

Text

How Schools Can Help Kids Heal After the Pandemic’s Uncertainty

Kai Humphrey, 9, has been learning from home for more than a year. He badly misses his Washington, D.C., elementary school, along with his friends and the bustle of the classroom.

This story is part of a reporting partnership that includes NPR and Illinois Public Media. It can be republished for free.

“Kids have had extended exposure to chaos, crisis and uncertainty,” said Dr. Matt Biel, a child psychiatrist at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital.

Promoting Mental Wellness in the Classroom

“We need to allow the students to share their experiences with the pandemic and to give them that safe space [to] talk about it,” Sackett said.

Sackett said her approach was informed by a virtual training, provided by Chicago’s Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital, that focused on the impacts of trauma on children.

“My sister was like, ‘Oh, I don’t want to die,'” Sheyla remembered. “I didn’t know what to tell her because I was in shock, too.”

“They’ve been doing an excellent job,” said Sheyla’s mom, Amparo Ramirez. “I’ve been telling them, ‘I’m thankful for you being here.'”

When More Serious Help Is Needed

Kai has been talking regularly with a therapist through his elementary school. And he said she has helped him come up with strategies to manage his stress at home.

“I would go in my room, lay on my bed, and either watch TV or play with my toys or do something like that,” Kai said. “And then I’ll come back out when I’m more calm and happy.”

Biel said that kind of stress can trickle down to children.

“All of the best evidence-based practices in the world are not going to have the desired effect if that child is living in a family that’s overwhelmed by stress,” he explained.

Without it, she said, “I don’t know what I would have done, really.”

Biel said he’s hopeful the rise in telehealth will help. But whatever the solution, he said, schools need support as they explore their options.

“Schools can’t beg, borrow and steal from what they already have to do this,” Biel said. “We need to support schools and school systems with more resources to make this possible.”

Federal Help for Schools

Cortez Masto said a recent spate of student suicides in one county in her state, Nevada, underscores just how urgent the needs are.

“We all need to be free from this quarantine. I’m going crazy. I want to be free!” Kai shouted. He’s eager to get back to the business of making friends with the entire world.

This story is part of a reporting partnership that includes NPR, Illinois Public Media and Kaiser Health News.

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

How Schools Can Help Kids Heal After the Pandemic’s Uncertainty published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

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londontheatre · 7 years ago

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MACBETH Nick Howard-Brown (Banquo), Matt Stubbs (Macduff) and David Hywel Baynes (Macbeth) Photo Nick Rutter

St Paul’s Churchyard in Covent Garden is normally a haven of peace and tranquility away from the noise and people of central London. It is a spiritual place where a person can sit and take a look at the lovely flowers and just chill. However, if you pop into here at the moment, you will be in for a slightly different atmosphere, with war, murder, mayhem, witchcraft and betrayal as Iris Theatre present their promenade version of William Shakespeare’s classic tragedy Macbeth.

The basic story is a very familiar one. A brave Scottish general named Macbeth (David Hywel Baynes) receives a prophecy from a trio of witches that one day he will become Thane of Cawdor and then King of Scotland. Shortly after this, another Thane by the name of Ross (Linford Johnson) arrives and greets Macbeth by the title Thane of Cawdor. Now believing the witches may have been onto something, Macbeth is consumed by ambition and spurred to action by his wife (Mogali Masuku), He murders King Duncan (Stephen Boyce) and as the King’s heir, Prince Malcolm (Jenny Horsthuis) escapes to England, Macbeth takes the Scottish throne for himself. He is then wracked with guilt and paranoia. Fearing the witches prophecy about his friend Banquo (Nick Howard-Brown) he is forced to commit more and more murders to protect himself from enmity and suspicion, he soon becomes a tyrannical ruler, leaving good men such as the proud Macduff (Matt Stubbs) with no option but to flee to England and join Malcolm as he prepares to take back his homeland from the usurper. The bloodbath and consequent civil war swiftly take Macbeth and Lady Macbeth into the realms of madness and death.

A beautiful summer’s evening in a picturesque churchyard and a murderous tale of hocus pocus and vile deaths should never be put together. Iris Theatre have not only done so but done it in tremendous style. The cast may be small but they are, as they say, perfectly formed. Set Designer Alice Channon uses every inch of the church and its yard to provide some great locations for the unfolding tale. Director Daniel Winder has made this a very dark and spooky version of the play and it really works. At times the action is quite brutal and I’m not too sure it would be completely suitable for youngsters of a nervous disposition. I don’t want to give too many details of the production away as it would spoil some of the very impressive surprises but, full credit to Anna Sances for some outstanding costumes and Fight Director Roger Bartlett who has produced some amazingly realistic fights, both with swords and up close.

David Hywel Baynes, in the title role, leads a multi-talented cast. We watch his Macbeth turn from affable lord of the manor to demented murderer doing anything to cling on to a power he doesn’t really have. The rest of the six cast play the other 13 roles in this version. A quick mention for Mogali Masuku as Lady Macbeth. Like her husband, she starts of proud and upright and is, in fact, the stronger of the two characters. However, she is the first to fall and Masuku plays her descent to madness brilliantly. Together, these two actors made the Macbeths into a formidable team and a joy to watch as an audience member.

One interesting point is that some of the characters are played by what could be perceived to be an actor of the wrong gender. The reality is that it doesn’t matter. In Shakespeare’s day, men played all the roles and the writing and acting are so good, the gender of the actor playing the role is totally irrelevant.

Again, without giving anything away, I will say I had a couple of favourite scenes. The end of the first act and opening of the second particularly stand out for me as does the final scene as Macbeth realises the truth of the witches prophesies but still tries to break them.

All told then, this is the best version of Macbeth I have seen so far. Beautifully staged in the Actor’s Church, the entire production is first rate. Shakespeare really did come to life as the sun went down and the evening took over, mirroring the fall of Macbeth as his plans and dreams disappeared over the horizon. Highly recommended.

Review by Terry Eastham

In a new production directed by Daniel Winder, experience the greatest psychological horror story ever told. Shakespeare’s Macbeth is a terrifying journey into the mind of a murderer. Inspired by the psychosexual imagery of Hieronymus Bosch, this production will weave its way around the grounds of St Paul’s Church; reflecting the play’s journey into the twisted mental landscape of Macbeth as he rises to be king.

Returning to Iris Theatre after three years, David Hywel Baynes takes on the title role, following his critically-acclaimed and Offie-nominated performance in 2014’s Iris production of Richard III.

Macbeth cast: David Hywel Baynes (Macbeth/Rebel Soldier) Stephan Boyce (Duncan & Seyton/Porter & Padock & Apparitions) Jenny Horsthuis (Malcolm & Lady Macduff & Second Witch) Nick Howard-Brown (Banquo & Captain & Apparitions) Linford Johnson (Ross/1st Witch) Mogali Masuku (Lady Macbeth & Macduff’s Son & Captain’s Son & Fleance & Third Witch) Matt Stubbs (Macduff & Murderer & Harpier & Apparitions)

Macbeth Creative Team: Director Daniel Winder. Set Designer Alice Channon. Costume Designer Anna Sances. Fight Director Roger Bartlett. Lighting Designer Benjamin Polya. Sound Designer and Composer Filipe Gomes. Movement Elissa Aravidou. Witches Choreographer Lina Johansson.

Macbeth by William Shakespeare, directed by Daniel Winder Wednesday 21 June – Saturday 29 July. http://iristheatre.com/

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