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poptod · 3 years ago

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THATS SO COOL THAT YOURE A DEVOTEE OF KHONSU OMG! Do you have any resources for me to learn about it because I’ve recently become one myself and I only know about that myth where Khonsu plays Senet but I wanna learn everything about him, how ppl used to worship him, any actual prayers people used to use to him yet it’s so difficult to find it all online and also finding ppl who worship him as well

hey!! yeah, i worship khonsu and thoth mainly, but i also worship nefertem, Min, hathor, and nuit :) learning how to play senet was a big part of worshipping khonsu for me. i use a pendulum to communicate with khonsu and move his pieces for him, so I can let him play his favorite game with someone. i also make moon pendants and I made an image of him to more easily worship.

hold on because i’m about to ramble a shit ton.

i like to be very traditional with my kemeticism because there’s the tendency to morph it into something more modern. i have an egyptian calendar, i believe it’s the one recovered in cairo, that allows me to track holy days to the best of our modern ability. on days of great favorability i go out on walks and bring flowers or stones or shells back as offerings, and then i make food offerings. it’s usually some sort of fruit, a bread or cracker, honey, figs, dates, and sometimes red wine or beer. i gift them dried blue lotus flowers. i play music and sing to the gods as well. this is all really up to the individual however.

in history there is little difference in the worship of different gods. sometimes the offerings are a little different, but in the case of khonsu, he is not specific enough of a God to have specialty offerings (i.e. specifically gold, specifically blue lotus, given to Ra and Nefertem consecutively) so you can generalize down to food, beer, incense, and crystals, as Egyptians did often offer things like lapis lazuli, gold, jasper, carnelian, obsidian––you can read more about egyptian crystals here. crystals would be your best bet at a really nice offering, as it would’ve been something precious to the egyptians and thus worthy to present. ancient egyptians essentially practiced their religion in every part of their day because thats simply how their society worked. the gods were real and could walk the earth at any time. so to worship, you carry amulets of a God or Goddesses’ protection––scarabs are common, but so are amulets of thoth, tawaret, amun, and more. so carrying around an amulet of khonsu––or at least his symbol of the moon crown––would be a good way to incorporate kemeticism and khonsu into your life.

prayers—like really original, egyptian prayers—can be hard to come by. a lot of people like to make up prayers but it’s anyone’s guess if they’re accurate. fortunately for you, i have a shit ton of books about egypt and i’m sure i could find something; at least a devotional passage in the Cannibal Hymn or the Book of the Dead (by the way, I suggest reading the Cannibal Hymn, it shows Khonsu as he was first conceived by the egyptians). if you can’t find it on the internet i’m happy to take pics of the book i have and send the pages to you. i can also keep an eye out for information regarding khonsu while i go through my stores of texts.

the fic im working on right now deals HEAVILY in the lore of Khonsu, including his different aspects and how they interacted with each other, their demeanors and their powers. i think you might enjoy that. otherwise, feel absolutely free to talk to me, i love discussing this kind of thing! i’ve done a fair amount of research into khonsu, especially khonsu pa-khered and khonsu pa-ir-sekher.

some basic stuff: khonsu is part of the theban triad in later New Kingdom era beliefs, as he is the son of Amun and Mut. Their collective cult center was in Thebes, hence the name. Represented mainly as a young man with a sidelock, wrapped in white linen and often bearing green skin. there are about four different aspects of Khonsu, I believe.

1. Khonsu Heseb-ahau, the decider of Life span

2. Khonsu pa-Khered, the child

3. Khensu pa-khart, the personification of a crescent moon’s light, highly associated with fertility, i.e. helping women to conceive and livestock to breed. he is also representative of fresh air.

4. Khonsu pa-ir-Sekher, the provider

I think it’s important to note that all these aspects of khonsu could interact with each other. Overall, however, his powers included the ability to heal and to bring fertility. Khonsu also holds power over all evil spirits, and in Egyptian beliefs, evil spirits are the perpetrator of earth-borne sickness, thus in order to heal one might call upon Khonsu to reign in his spirits. His symbols included the crescent moon (often seen worn on his head like a headdress), the full moon, the falcon, and the crook, flail, and scepter (probably the Was scepter but I don’t remember right now). Like all people in ancient Egypt, his name is somewhat up to interpretation due to the absence of vowels in the Egyptian ‘alphabet’, so there are a variety of ways to pronounce his name, including Khons, Chons, and Khensu.

This is his name in hieroglyphs! You can technically leave out the man at the end because that sign is just a denominative, but people usually leave it in.

His association with Thoth is, I think, what mainly brings him to light when people study ancient Egyptian mythology. Both Khonsu and Thoth are considered Gods of moon, time, and magic, and this is because Thoth absorbed many of the traits previously ascribed to Khonsu. Originally, Thoth was only the inventor of language, and during this time I liken Thoth to the vizier Imhotep. Sharing traits happens a lot in ancient mythology because of how societies move on and through time, forgetting certain gods as others step into the limelight and take over characteristics previously owned by the forgotten god. Still, khonsu and thoth are considered close companions, and play senet a fair amount together. They both have power over the moon and over the progress of time. fortunately for Khonsu he was still a prominent God, which can be rare when traits are suddenly shared between two similar Gods. he was worshipped from at least the old kingdom up until the roman occupation.

Getting back to the topic of worship; it’s hard to tell what’s accurate and what’s entirely bullshit because it’s not hard to slap a bunch of fancy-sounding words together and post them on the internet, pretending you translated some document or happen to know a prayer. despite that, it’s not sin to use these prayers. they are still words, and words are what the ancient egyptians used as well. it’s not for me, personally, but it’s not bad. it’s almost impossible to get prayers transliterated into what it would sound like for the ancient Egyptians due to the issues with their alphabet and the missing vowels.

Alright. Here’s some reliable sources that go more into depth on Khonsu and Egypt than what I feel comfortable reciting from mostly memory.

https://ancientegyptonline.co.uk/khonsu/

http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/godkhonsu.htm

For general information concerning history and Egypt, as well as festivals (which I encourage you to learn about, they’re very fun) this website is fantastic: https://www.worldhistory.org/

Starting page 7 of this will show you some of the constellations of ancient Egypt if you’re interested in other sky Gods and symbols: http://sino-platonic.org/complete/spp253_ancient_egyptian_constellations.pdf

This dictionary of Egyptian words is both incredibly useful, easy to use, and one of the more accurate recordings of the language: https://seshkemet.weebly.com/dictionary.html you can maybe use this to build your own prayers as it holds the translation and transliteration.

If you want to recite poetry in your ceremonies or dedications I have a SHIT TON of egyptian poetry. this here isn’t the best example of poetry but it is accurate and easy to find: http://jewishchristianlit.com/Texts/ANEmrg/pBeatty.html otherwise ask me, I can send you my favorites or a topic you’re looking specifically for

Part of worshipping gods in Egypt is knowing how they were worshipped and how magic was seen by the people of Egypt. magic wasn’t a myth; it was a guaranteed thing, it was the explanation for their science, and this article goes over it well: https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1019/magic-in-ancient-egypt/

Again I suggest reading the Cannibal Hymn and again, if you can’t find it, I can totally send it to you if you DM me. I also have lots of translated texts that you might find interesting.

If you haven’t read some of the more basic religious texts, or looked at the images in the Book of the Dead, this pdf has a lot of good info, especially regarding the different sects of dead souls

For online sources regarding hieroglyphic translations of texts concerning Khonsu, this is your best bet. I like to use these to inscribe my images of Khonsu with ‘prayers’. i’m pretty sure you can access it for free, the only issue you might have is you have to create a free account to access it but that’s all

Page 113 of this text deals specifically with Khonsu pa-Khered if you want to be specific in your worship and study.

If you want to learn about the temple of Khonsu, this paper describes it pretty well.

This website gives some good excerpts from the Pyramid Texts.

That’s pretty much all I can offer you in terms of easy-access, free information that you don’t have to buy a buttload of books for.

Edit: I looked through some of my books and found a prayer you might like. it’s an incense prayer so it’s a good place to start with ceremonies and offerings. it’s from the pyramid utterance 269

The fire is laid, the fire shines;

The incense is laid on the fire, the incense shines.

Your perfume comes to me, O Incense,

May my perfume come to you, O Incense,

Your perfume comes to me, you gods;

May my perfume come to you, you gods.

May I be with you, you gods;

May you be with me, you gods.

May I live with you, you gods;

May you live with me, you gods.

I love you, you gods;

May you love me, you gods.

This prayer generally goes along with burning incense and an offering of milk.

A common aspect of ancient literature in the east and in africa is the repetition of phrases, so that’s why this prayer is structured the way it is. I was, however, unable to find an accurate transliteration of this excerpt. Otherwise I had little luck trying to find transliterated passages relating to Khonsu.

#anon #khonsu #ancient egypt

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werevulvi · 3 years ago

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You know how often I ask myself, why can't I just be normal? It's quite a lot. I wanna talk about something I've never told anyone before, aside from a few strangers online. I've suppressed this my whole life, since childhood. I've acted with anger towards others with the same thing as me, told them how it's offensive and awful. Refused to allow myself to even think about my own urges and desires. It worked for a long time, until I wrote my book this summer, a fiction story about a couple who end up disabled from their dangerous work as assassins. My intentions were just... to try to give good representation and explore something I knew very little about.

So I did a lot of research into my characters' disabilities, and even briefly pretended to have those specific disabilities at home alone, just to get an idea of what it's like to manage daily life with them. It was just a writer's thing, just being a dedicated writer, I told myself, as I researched those disabilities far more in-depth than I did about assassins...

At one point, I would cover my eye with a makeshift eye patch, as one of my main character's loses an eye, and I... it brought forth what I had suppressed my whole life, and I can't suppress it anymore as a result of that. The bottled feelings have escaped and I can't put them back in again.

I think I have Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID.) There, I said it.

It's a very rare mental illness that makes you want to become disabled, usually in some very specific way. Most are males, and most desire amputation, but it can pertain to wanting blindness, deafness, or I guess, any conceivable disability. There's only been a few thousand reported cases, but it's also said to be a very secret disorder, so numbers are probably not accurate. It's very poorly researched, poorly understood, and still not recognized as an actual disorder. So you can't be diagnosed with it currently, and there are no set criteria for it. However, it will be in the upcoming ICD-11 (the International Classification of Diseases.) It will then also be re-named to Body Integrity Dysphoria (BID) as it's being recognized as a form of dysphoria, and as a neurological condition.

And now for the obligatory life story:

I don't remember when it started, but as a child, I'd say roughly age 5 or 7, I was obsessed with fictional characters that had a distinct scar over one eye, and either blind in that eye or entirely missing it. I would on occasion play around with a hand covering one eye, and wished I could have that for real. For a long time, I didn't know why I was so obsessed with that. If I was just admiring that kinda physical feature, or wanted it myself, or both. Throughout my teens and adulthood thus far, I've made a lot of drawings of people with only one eye, and scarred faces. I wrote another book back in 2013 with one of the main characters being a woman with a large scar across half her face. I've always been a little too fascinated with facial deformities, having only one eye, and facial assymmetry. And I've tried to express it with assymmetrical makeup looks (not made to look like I'm injured) throughout my teens and 20's.

So it's been with me for a very long time, even though I've tried super hard to suppress it, and tried to tell myself that I should just be happy to have a mostly abled body. But that wish/urge/whatever it is, has never gone away.

When I first heard of BIID, back in 2016 or so, I was angry, and thought of people with it as despicable. I was in deep denial of how much I could relate to them. Didn't want to think of that. But since learning more about the condition, and listening to others who have it, and learning it is actually a real condition... I guess that has helped me eventually come to this point that, well fuck... it me.

Up until recently, I thought it was just a self-harm desire, as I used to be a cutter, but now I understand that the self-harm was not the intention behind what I want with that, but merely the means to achieve it. Kinda like how I wanted to cut my own tits off before I had my double mastectomy. It wasn't about specifically wanting to injure my chest, but to not have tits anymore, and I much preferred the much safer way of doing it, through proper surgery. However, wanting half my face re-arranged is a little bit harder to achieve through elective surgery, even if surgeons were allowed to treat BIID through surgery. So I do not think my desire to get rid of my left eye and surrounding tissues is about wanting to harm myself. It's about wanting to have and live with the result of such an injury. Although I get that might be very unimaginable.

So then, have I ever made any attempts?

Yeah... I have. Once, I think it was when I was 22, I took a blade to my face, but chickened out, and ended up only making a very superficial cut on my cheek, which I was then extremely ashamed of. I didn't want for people to find out I had made it myself. Since then, I've stopped self-harming and have no desire to make a second attempt. I'm scared I'd fuck it up and cause damage I don't want, or... not enough damage. And I'm worried I'd be beyond myself with shame if I would take out my own eye and then other people would show sympathy for my injury, knowing I'd have caused it myself. I just kinda wish it would happen accidentally somehow.

So, to clarify, my BIID targets my left eye and left side of my face. Why left? Honestly because I'm deaf since birth on my left ear, so it would be extremely inconvenient to be deaf on one side and blind on the other. Much more manageable to have one side be blind-deaf and the other fully seeing and hearing. But at first it didn't matter to me so much which side of my face would be affected. I have no desire to become an amputee or fully blind. I also don't have a fetish for disabled people.

Would I date a disabled person?

Yes, but that's because some attractive people just so happen to be disabled, and I wouldn't think I'm particularly judgemental, not that I find their disabilities in and of themselves attractive.

I try to quell this desire, to lose an eye and half my face, by on occasion wearing an eye patch in secrecy. I know it can worsen my vision, but why on Earth would I mind that? It's kinda what I want. But my mom almost caught me wearing it today as she came by for a quick visit, and I have worn it at the grocery store, and out and about in my village. It feels so damn right, yet so fucking wrong...

Let's tackle this question as well: Do I feel like an ass towards disabled people?

Yes and no. Thing is, I'm already disabled myself. I'm not an abled person to begin with. I live on permanent sickness compensation, classified unable to work, for life, with little to no chance at improvement, due to my autism and adhd. I have the energy levels of an old cellphone that drops to 2% battery ten minutes after being fully charged every time. And I hate it. I hate that there's so much in life that I'll probably never be able to do. So disability, is already part of my life, and always has been. So why then would I want to become more disabled, instead of less? Well, yeah that is what I want...

I've faced a shit ton of ableism since childhood, and I actually think that's why I got BIID. Because my actual disability is invisible and not taken seriously in society. And I think that's what I deep down want: to just have my disability be visible and taken seriously. Physical disabilities are taken more seriously. I've even heard that straight from the mouths of people who have both mental and physical disabilities. How often have I not been called lazy for something I've been literally unable to do, just because I "look" capable? How often do I get to hear I "don't seem autistic?" How often do I get told that autism is not even a disability, but merely a personality trait and being socially awkward? How often do I get told I would be able to work if I just tried harder? All. The. Fucking. Time.

I think that's why, ever since I was a child, I've wanted to have a physical disability, which is fully visible, and cannot be ignored. And what's more visible than the face? We interact with it the most. Because I don't really want to be less capable or lose a lot of movement, I just want for my already disabled existence to be visibly disabled.

So that's a big reason for why I think I have BIID. Which is to say, I don't feel like I'm being an ass towards disabled people, because I'm already disabled to begin with, merely wishing I was more disabled and in a more visible way. Had I been abled to begin with, I think that would have been different, but even abled people with BIID don't choose to have this condition. I read a quote from a person with BIID, who got the amputation he wanted, and he said basically that he didn't know what's worse, having BIID or being disabled. I can relate to that. And I think that is the irony here, that simply having BIID is like being disabled in and of itself already.

That said, however, I do understand why disabled people would be greatly offended, angry, or otherwise insulted, by people with BIID. Honestly I cannot understand why they would not be. I'm greatly offended by people who say they wish they were autistic! And I'm offended at myself for wishing I had a facial deformity and only one eye. Why do I want this!? I keep trying to shake sense into myself. It's what's causing my shame and wishing I could just be normal. No disabilities, and no wish for disabilities I don't have. That'd be great.

There is one more aspect I also feel the need to tackle: Transabled.

BIID has recently been rather often labeled as "transabled" in the same vein as "transracial" (wanting to be another race) and transgender. As a transsexual, this comparison is of course something that I have not missed. I'm painfully aware. This is how I see it, alright: Although I do feel like my body integrity dysphoria is incredibly similar to my sex dysphoria, I feel like it would be extremely rude and tone deaf to identify as for example vision impaired, deaf or an amputee, without actually having those disabilities. And I do not know if anyone actually does this. As far as I've seen, some people with BIID may pretend to have the disability they want (like with me walking around with an eye patch despite having no medical need for it) but they don't lie about it, or they try hard to avoid ending up in a situation where they'd feel pressured to lie. So I dunno how much validity there even is in anyone with BIID genuinely identifying as transabled. But regardless of that, I think it's absolutely abhorrent to identify as disabled in ways you are not. And I'd never tell anyone that I'm missing an eye when I do not.

So, I really do not like the term "transabled" and much prefer the BIID and BID terms. I do not like BIID being conflated with being transgender, although I want to very carefully say that the two conditions are so incredibly similar, that... I think that's another big reason I ended up with both. That I've always felt a strong disconnect from my body, which has merely expressed itself in a wide array of ways, ranging from sex dysphoria to body integrity dysphoria, dissociation and even having previously identified as otherkin. I don't think that's a coincidence at all. But then what caused all of that? I don't think there is a simple answer, but a multitude of reasons, and it may even connect with my autism as well as my trauma.

So, I'd say most likely it's caused by a cocktail of neurological and social issues. I was just clearly meant to be a broken person, making the most of my life with the sucky cards I was dealt, and on good days... I guess I'm kinda okay with that. At least it's not boring. Let's end on that not super tragic note. Feel free to ask me anything, if you’ve got any questions.

#biid #body integrity dysphoria #body integrity identity disorder #finally accepting i probably have this #im not happy about it but it is what it is i guess #ok to rb #transabled #im only adding that tag bcos i know many dont know what the condition is actually called

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atlafan · 5 years ago

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My Everything - Part Three

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut.

a/n: not proofread fam, I didn’t have the strength.

Masterpost

“Oh!” You pause the TV.

“Y/N! It’s the middle of the second season finale are you fuckin’ kidding?!”

“I forgot to tell you something earlier.” You giggle.

“Alright, what is it?”

“Our new intern goes to my college, my undergrad, and he’s part of the film club, the one I helped create when I was a student, and he asked me to come to a meeting next Thursday. Would you wanna come with me? The meeting itself is at like 8PM, but I thought we could go beforehand, I could give you a little tour…”

“He asked you to come to a meeting?”

“Yeah! He wants me to like explain what I do now, and how being the film club helped me in a professional sense. He’s even going to email the director of alumni relations to see if they’ll do an article on me for the alumni magazine, but I doubt they will.”

“Why not? You’re incredibly successful, and didn’t you say an alum helped you get the job? I bet once you tell them that they’d feature you. You could talk about how important the alumni network is.”

“Harry!” You squeal and tackle him down, kissing him all over his face. He starts laughing underneath you.

“What? What?” He could barely breathe from your sudden affection.

“You’re so cute when you’re being supportive.” You nuzzle into his neck and he rubs your back.

“Well then I must be cute all the time then, huh?”

“Mhm.”

You forgot how beautiful your campus could be in the fall. Even though it was in the city, it had some beautiful parks and pathways. After work you had changed into a pair of jeans and a blouse. You didn’t want to look too fancy. You showed Harry different buildings where you had class, and the dorm you lived in freshman year. You both decide to go eat at a pub you used to love.

“Harry, it’s okay, have a beer if you want.”

“But I feel bad…”

“I really don’t mind. I’m fine with the seltzer water.” You smile reassuringly and he order the beer.

Once you’re done with everything you walk him around some more. You show him where you lived sophomore year, and then start walking towards the building where the film club meeting is. You see a group of people walking towards you and you gasp.

“No fucking way.” You groan and hide slightly behind Harry.

“What?”

“Nothing, we just need to walk very fast by-“

“Y/N?” A man says.

“Shit.” You say under your breath. “Um, Chris?”

“What are you doing here?!” He goes to hug you but you clutch at Harry.

“I was invited to a film club meeting…what are you doing here? I thought you graduated…”

“I did! I’m an RD.” He smiles and looks at Harry.

“Sorry, uh, this is my fiancé, Harry.”

“Hey, mate.” They shake hands.

“Wow! Congratulations. Well I won’t keep you. We should catch up sometime.”

“Sure.” You give him a fake smile and keep walking. “Gag me.”

“Who was that?”

“A guy I hooked up with like once, and he wouldn’t leave me alone. It took me going to California for him to stop asking me to come over. It was so annoying. Like take a hint dude.”

“Why didn’t you wanna hook up with him again?” Harry asks with a laugh.

“Oh, like you would always hit it twice.”

“Good point.” He smirks. “Suppose I don’t blame him, I mean, I’ve seen what that ass looks like when it’s bouncing up and down on my cock, I’d probably want you to come over again too.”

“Harry!” You smack him in the arm, making him laugh. “One beer at dinner and you’ve gone all goofy.”

“I’m just teasin’.” He throws his arm around your shoulders as you continue your walk to the building.

“Here it is, let me just text Zach that we’re here.” You both wait a few minutes, and Zach comes out to open the door.

“Hi, Y/N! Thanks again for coming, everyone is really excited. You must be Harry.” He smiles and shakes Harry’s hand. You both walk into the building. “Y/N talks about you all the time, it’s so cool that you have your own photography studio. I bet you could show some of these guys a thing or two.”

Harry liked Zach so far, he seemed polite and genuine.

“All the time, huh?” He nudges you.

“Not all the time, only when it’s relevant.”

Zach leads you into the room you knew very well. It was a computer lab you used to hold your film club meetings in. There was a screen, projector, white boards, all things you and your friends needed to have productive meetings.

“Hey, everyone!” About fifteen or so students turn to look at you and Harry. “This is Y/F/N Y/L/N and her fiancé Harry, Y/N graduated in 2017 and she’s one of my supervisors at my internship. She is one of the founding members of this club!” They all clap for you, and you’re a little surprised. “Come on in, tell them about yourself, what you do.”

You step further into the room so you can see everyone clearly.

“Thanks Zach, um, hi everyone!” You say brightly. “I’m feeling really nostalgic right now since I used to have my meetings in here too. We worked on so many cool projects, and my sophomore year we even made a short film that I stared in.” Harry’s eyebrows raise. He didn’t know you were in front of the camera as well as behind it.

“That’s why you look so familiar! At the beginning of every school year we watch a ton of past projects. You played the girl that went missing right?” A students says.

“Yeah, that was me.” You laugh.

“And you made that one about the purple pencil, that cracks me up.” Another says.

“Yes…that one was like a film challenge that the president at the time had us do. It was a lot of fun. Being in this club really took me out of my comfort zone. I never would’ve learned how to properly use a camera for filming or even taking pictures if it weren’t for film club. I have a job in marketing now where I get to edit video and sound clips, and I even supervise part of our social media department now. I really enjoy what I do.”

“Y/N was able to do well in her interview because another alum was already working there, and gave her some tips.” Zach explains.

“That’s right. It’s really important to know who your alums are, that’s why LinkedIn is so crucial.”

“Could you pull yours up?” A student asks.

“Sure! If that’s something everyone wants to see…”

They all agree and Zach logs onto the computer that’s connected to the projector. Harry takes pictures of you while you’re going over your LinkedIn.

“I think the best advice I could give is just don’t be afraid to try things. If you want to get better at something you need to practice. I went from using Windows Movie Maker, to iMovie, and now I use Adobe Premiere. It’s okay if things take time, and if there is something you want to do and you’re not sure how, don’t be afraid to Google it. I remember I had no idea how to do like a slow zoom, and I just looked it up and it was super easy to get the hang of. Create the content you’d want to watch, and have fun with it.” You smile.

A few students ask you some questions, and you end up giving out some of your business cards, good thing you brought them. Some students wanted to be able to reach out to you for resume help.

“Thanks again for coming. I’m gonna put another bug in the director’s ear. I think this is something that should be in the magazine. Oh! Do you plan to come to Homecoming Weekend?” Zach asks.

“Um.” You blink. “God, I haven’t gone to Homecoming since I was a student myself.” You snort.

“It’s alumni weekend too, you should come. I’ll be working at the alumni table, then I could introduce you.”

“When is it?”

“First weekend of October.” You look up at Harry. He looks at the calendar on his phone.

“Think I’m free…” He says.

“We could certainly try to swing by…that’s like next weekend…I have some friends that might wanna come too.”

“I can send you an email with the registration link and with all the activities for the weekend. It’s a lot of fun, as I’m sure you remember.”

“Yeah, I sort of participated in different activities…” You blush.

“Well either way.” He shrugs.

“I’ll let you know at work if we’ll be able to go. This was a lot of fun though, I’ll come back any time.”

You say goodbye to everyone, and walk out hand in hand with Harry.

“You’re really good at explaining things.” He says to you.

“What do you mean?”

“Like…you never got frustrated, or annoyed. Some of their questions were stupid, I easily would’ve gotten aggravated.”

“They don’t know what they don’t know.”

“All I’m saying is, like, ten years from now I could see you bein’ a professor or somethin’. You’ll have your MEd, you could teach an online class as a TL and see how you like and then go from there. You love learning, Y/N, why not get paid to do it?”

“I think I could see that for myself, but yeah, ten years from now. I’m curious to see how I could keep moving up at work. It would be weird to leave there. I mean, I know people don’t stay at the same place for thirty years anymore…but it would be sad to go. Plus I would miss Niall way too much.”

“Yeah, but he could easily find another job if he wanted. You shouldn’t stay somewhere just because your friends are there.”

“Says the person that persuaded the two friends he made at work to follow him to his studio.” You nudge him playfully.

“Alright you got me there, but seriously, don’t use him as an excuse.”

“I know, you’re right. Let me actually get the Med first, and then I’ll start thinking about things I wanna do years from now, okay?”

“Sounds good to me.”

You both get into your car and head home.

“So I know we like just got engaged, but I was thinking while the weather is still nice it might not be a bad idea to start lookin’ at some potential spots we’d wanna get married at…” You could tell he was slightly nervous to bring it up.

“I think that’s a good idea. I think you and I need to sit down and consider a budget before we hop in the car and start looking. We need to do some research online.”

“That money you wouldn’t let me pay you I was thinking could go towards the wedding.”

“Harry.” You sigh. “Shouldn’t that money go back towards the business? Or couldn’t it be saved for a holiday bonus for Mariah and Isaac.”

“I have money set aside for that already.” He says matter of factly. “You won’t let me pay you, and that’s money you’ve earned. So we should use it towards something.”

“Fine.”

“At least we’ll save money on a photographer. Mariah’s really talented.”

“I know! She’s great at capturing the moment. Did you want her to be the one to take the photos?”

“Considering how Lou’s probably going to be my best man, she’s the only other person I would trust.”

“That’s so cute you both are gonna be each other’s best men.” You giggle. “I sort of had an idea for Niall.”

“I’d really rather him be in my wedding party, he’s been my friend longer, and-“

“Actually, I don’t want him in either of our wedding parties.” You pull into the parking garage and you both get out.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he’s the whole reason we’re together right?”

“Yeah.”

“So…why not let him be the one to make it official?” Harry stops short when you get into the lobby of your building.

“You want him to officiate the wedding?”

“Yeah…it just feels right.” You shrug. You both get into the elevator. “What do you think?”

“I think I need to make sure I’m filming when we tell him because he’s gonna cry.” Harry smiles. “It’s a great idea, Y/N.”

“We should pick up a little gift for him, or like take him to dinner.”

“Ohhh, I like that.” He kisses your cheek as you both enter your apartment.

Buster greets the two of you, he was doing much better. You both sit down on the sofa and flip the TV on.

“Who were you thinkin’ for your wedding party then?”

“Well, it’s going to be really hard to pick a maid of honor…it always supposed to be Kate. I was her, you know? But obviously that’s not happening. I don’t know how I’d be able to choose between Sarah and Rachel.” You sigh. “I’m equally close with them…I’ll have to talk to them about it and see what they think, honestly. I don’t want anyone’s feelings getting hurt.” Harry nods. “Then my sisters would be in the party too, El of course.” You think a bit more. “That might actually be it. I have other girlfriends, but I don’t need a ton of bridesmaids. What about you?”

“Louis, obviously, Mitch…him and Sarah said congrats by the way I completely forgot to tell you. I was thinking of maybe askin’ Isaac…I’d like my sister to be in my party too.”

“Aw, that would be so cute! Oh, and I bet by the time we actually do get married Michael will be able to walk all on his own, he could be like the flower boy or something.”

“That would be really cute. Didn’t you say you wanted it to be kind of Jewish too? Like you wanted someone there to bless us?”

“My cantor from my old temple, yeah…but we don’t have to if that’s too formal.”

“No, I think it would be nice to add in there. I just don’t wanna wear the little hat if that’s okay.”

“Don’t worry.” You laugh. “You don’t have to wear the little hat.” You burst out laughing.

“What?” Harry laughs.

“I was just picturing Gemma walking one of my sisters down the aisle.” You wipe tears from your eyes. “We’ll really have to figure all this out soon.”

“That would be pretty funny.” He puts his arm around you and pulls you close. “It’s nice talkin’ about this without it bein’ hypotheticals, like, this is really happening.” He kisses your forehead.

“I know, I’m really excited, babe.” You give him a quick peck. “We just need to get through Erica’s wedding and Lou and El’s.”

“I know, a lot is gonna happen all at once.” He sighs. “Lou’s is before your sister’s though, June if I’m remembering from the save the date correctly.”

“Yeah, and Erica’s is in July, I could kill her.”

“Why?” He chuckles.

“Because it’s going to be the dead of summer, we’re going to look sweaty and gross. And of course she’s getting married at some farm, so it’s gonna be all humid and blah.” You groan. “Whatever makes her happy I suppose. I’m just glad Mike finally asked her, took him long enough.”

“Everyone does everything in their own time, baby. Weren’t they really young when they first got together?”

“Yeah she was a senior in high school, and he was out of school for a couple of years…it was a pretty cute way they met. She was working at a RiteAid at this outlet mall, and he was working at Game Stop, and I guess he would go to RiteAid like every day for a snack on his lunch break, and he would say hi to everyone but her, so one day she gave him shit for it and they started talking. Turns out his aunt was our neighbor and we had like played with him when we were kids and didn’t even know. And his older sister was best friends with Bridget when they were in high school.”

“Wow, small world.”

“Right?”

“That is a pretty cute story, but I like ours better.”

“Oh, you do?”

“Yeah, I mean, how romantic is it that a mutual friend set us up, and we had this really great dinner date?”

“It’s pretty romantic, doll.” You yawn. “Yikes, I’m tired. I’m glad tomorrow’s Friday.”

“Me too, let’s head to bed.” He stretches as he stands and follows you to the bedroom.

It felt so good to sleep in Saturday morning. You stretch as you sit up, and start to get out of bed, but Harry yanks you down to him, making you squeal.

“Why do you always insist on gettin’ right up?” He mumbles as he wraps himself around you to spoon you.

“I don’t want Buster to shit himself.” You giggle.

“He knows to go on the piddle pad if we don’t get right up.” He pushes his morning wood against your ass.

“Jesus.” You groan. “You don’t wanna cuddle, you just wanna having a morning fuck.” His arm slips up under your shirt so he can caress one of your breasts.

“I want both.” He says into your ear. His hand slides down to between your legs and he smirks. “Seems like you do too.” He starts to rub circles on your clit while he grinds against you. You back up against him to really feel how hard he is.

Heavy petting was rare between you two. Usually you would just end up diving into the sex, but this first thing in the morning was like heaven. The way he would really ease you into it. His fingers slowly start to slip inside, and you find yourself turning onto your stomach. Harry gets full on top of you, his chest flush with your back. You your ass up slightly so he can continue to finger and rub you. He gets his fingers in and then drags them out and up to your clit. You moan out in your pillow. He continues to grind against your ass, getting right between your cheeks. He had his boxers on so you weren’t worried about anything slipping into the wrong hole.

“You’re so wet.” He groans. “Want me to fuck you, baby?”

“Yes.”

He leans up, only for a moment, to get his boxers off. He gets back on you the way he was, nice and close, and slides in.

“Ah, fuck.” You moan out.

Harry keeps his fingers on your clit while he rocks in and out of you. His other hand slides up to the back of your head, and he gets a light grip on your hair. He knows not to pull too hard.

“Feels good, angel?”

“So good, Harry.”

He continues to rock in and out of you, and once you come from him rubbing on your clit, he pulls out to flip you over. He yanks your shirt off so you’re fully exposed to him. He slides back in and wraps his lips around one of your nipples. One of your hands is tugging on his hair while the other is digging into his back.

“Really give it me, babe, come on.”

“Want it hard, Y/N?”

“Hard and fast.”

Harry grins and sits up, grabbing both of your legs to put over his shoulders. He stretches his neck and cracks his knuckles, making you laugh. He loved when you two would laugh when you were intimate. It didn’t always need to be so serious. He pulls out nearly all the way and slams back into you. You gasp at the feeling, but you love it. He does this over and over, picking up the pace each time, making the bed start to shake. He was hitting the right spot over and over. You fist at the blankets with your head slamming far into your pillow. You grit your teeth as you feel your orgasm approaching. He could tell you were close from the way you were clenching around him. He almost wanted to pull out and make you beg him for it, but he also loved seeing how far gone you were and didn’t want to tease you. He knew he was hitting just the right spot, just a few more thrusts…

“Holy shit!” You scream as everything in your vision goes white. Tears well up in your eyes as he fucks you through the orgasm that was making you feel like you were going to collapse from within. “Oh my god, Harry! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Your praise was enough to make him lose it, and his come spurts inside you, filling you to the brim. He looks down at you to see your chest still heaving. He pulls out of you slowly and you whimper from the loss of contact. He leans down and gives you a kiss on the forehead.

“Good game.” He shakes your hand.

“Oh, shut up.” You swat at him and laugh.

You both shower quick, and go out to feed Buster. He did, in fact, need to use the piddle pad. After he eats Harry takes him out for a proper walk while you get some breakfast for the two of you going. Just some simple oatmeal.

“So, do you wanna go over a budget today? We could set up at the dining room table, and you could get a spreadsheet goin’ on your laptop.”

“Yeah, we can definitely do that.” You smile.

You and Harry sit down at the dining table, while Buster rests his head in your lap as he sits at your feet.

“Does he do that a lot?”

“Hm?” You look down at Buster. “Yeah, he likes to sit under my desk like that with me at work.” You grin at Harry. “He’s just like his daddy.” You pinch his cheek and he swats your hand away.

“Shut up.” He nudges your shoulder. “Want me to replace him right now, cause I will.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

You pull up excel and name a bunch of rows with what you’ll need money for. Venue, food, drinks, photographer/videographer, DJ, hotel rooms, bachelorette/bachelor party, bridal shower, dress, etc.

“My friend Adam, the guy we got Buster from, is actually a really good DJ…”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, he always used to put playlists together for our parties and stuff. I’m pretty sure he has a DJ business on the side. I could ask him what his rates are.”

“That would be great. So…I don’t want this to be crazy expensive…like it seems silly to drop what could someday be a down payment on a house on a party for one night.”

“I agree. I don’t want it to get out of hand. I feel like the venue will be the most expensive. Let’s try to figure out where we want it so we can compare prices. Some hotels have the food and drinks included and some don’t.”

“I think…like in my wildest dreams, I’d love for it to be at a hotel on the Cape, like have the beach behind us…the ceremony outside, and then the reception would be indoors, but maybe there’s this outside patio area or something?”

“Ohh, I can really picture that. We both love the beach, let’s look and see.”

“I feel like that’s gonna be expensive.”

“We won’t know unless we look.” He grabs your laptop and opens Google. “Maybe we could find an inn or somethin’.”

“True, that would be cute actually.”

The two of you see the different options out there and find two you really like. You book a couple of tours on their websites so you can physically see the spaces.

“Oh, I wanted to ask, are we doin’ like a traditional cake or did you want cupcakes? I’ve seen a lot of people save money on just doin’ cupcakes, and then havin’ a small cake just made for the couple.”

“I think that’s a great idea. Then we could have a variety of cupcakes so everyone could find something they like. There’s a bakery I really like that back home that did my Bat Mitzvah cake, I’d like to go there to maybe do a tasting?”

“Sure.” He smiles. “I’ll let you set that up, and you can just tell me when.”

“Okay.”

“Maybe we could do like a lemon cake since we both like that.”

“Mm, my mouth is already watering. I’ll definitely set that up soon. I guess there’s not much else we can really do until we set a date, and then we can work backwards.”

“Guess you’re right.” He rubs his eyes and rests his chin in his palm. “What were you thinking for a bachelor and bachelorette?”

“God, I have no idea. I’m the sure the girls will think of something.”

“Did you wanna do a combined thing, or be completely separate. S’not like it’ll be the night before the wedding, like it could be a month or so ahead.”

“To be honest, I’d like to have a weekend with just the girls…”

“Alright.”

“Is that okay? I mean, I had a lot of fun for my birthday, but-“

“No, I really don’t mind. I just didn’t know if you wanted a combined trip, but we can have separate things.” He shrugs.

“What do you think you wanna do?”

“I was thinin’ maybe like a trip to Mohegan Sun with the guys. We went years ago, and it was a lot of fun.”

“Oo, do a little gambling, that would be fun.” You sigh. “I’m not gonna be able to drink during any of this.” You groan.

“You’ll still have fun, baby.”

“I know, but I’m gonna have to tell my friends why I’m not drinking…”

“You can just say you’re on a medication that doesn’t allow you to consume alcohol, you don’t have to specify any more than that if you don’t want to. Do you really think they’ll judge you?”

“It’s not the judgement…it’s the look on their faces I know they’ll give me. The medication has helped me a lot, I think.”

“I’m really proud of you for taking it so consistently.”

“I just take it with my birth control…it’s easy to remember.”

“Babe.” He saves the file you were working on and closes your laptop. He turns so his body is facing yours. “Can you take a second and just think about how far you’ve come? In the year that I’ve know you, you’ve made so many great steps. I can remember times you getting so frustrated because you never thought you’d be in a place where we’d be able to just go at it. I mean, think of how we had sex just this morning. You weren’t in a place this time last year to be able to do that, and now you are. I know it’s not just about sex, there’s a lot of mental progress you’ve made too, but I feel like physically, I just feel so close with you, I feel like every time we do it we get closer.” Your eyes were glossy while you listened to him.

You felt overwhelmed by his kind words. He was right about everything. You had made a ton of progress, and you didn’t reflect on it as much as you should. You stand up and he pushes his seat you. You sit down on him and wrap your arms around his shoulders, and nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. He holds you close and rubs your back. Buster yips at the two of you, clearly upset that his head was no longer comfortably resting in your lap. You both look down at him.

“He really is just like me, huh?”

#my everything #take it slow #take it slow sequel #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut fic #enjoy!

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indigosandviolets · 4 years ago

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suggestions/ideas for fanfic, from a writer who learned this shit the hard way

does your fanfic have a very specific setting/things characters do? have the main character (reader, OC, whatever, i will be referring to them as the MC) do something adjacent to that.

ex. your story takes place during a war and your love interest is a soldier? make the MC a translator or have them work on the supply line, to give contrast to the story while keeping them in the action

ex. your love interest is a chess grandmaster? have the MC be a journalist/artist/sculptor! that gives you a chance for the love interest to teach them chess and for the MC to learn more about the love interest

you want to do a coffee shop au? have the love interest work across the street, at a bakery

so, you’ve decided to do one of the above or chosen a random hobby for your character but you don’t know how to write it? look up technique!

journalist route? of course you know how to do that, you’re doing that by writing the fic! just have the MC describe what’s happening in front of them, and you’re golden

translator? best bet would probably be wikipedia. it would also help to do general research into the language you’re translating, and if you’re having the MC speak the language, you could either translate it then and there (“they looked up at the LI, smiling. “Vi we hvem vi er,” they say, “We are who we are.”) or leave a key at the end of your fic

artist (painter/drawing route)? watch a youtube video on someone painting. it’s literally that easy. shit, the best help would be Bob Ross, because he actually explains what the hell he’s doing and with which brush.

sculptor? youtube, baby! some people do step by steps of what they’re doing, so try and find something like that

knitting? youtube, again. there are a ton of step by step tutorials for how to do certain patterns, sweaters, hats, scarfs, and more! plus, looking up these tutorials make you more knowledgeable of a person, and it also really helps with Jeopardy!

you don’t know whether or not your x reader is inclusive enough? get vague, babes, but not too vague!

use they/them pronouns (unless you’re posting multiple versions for the fic) for the MC, or write in the second person, and instead of describing things about the way the MC looks, pay more attention to how the MC feels

don’t! assume! race! you never know who is going to read your fic. don’t use phrases such as “their face paled” or “cheeks flushed”. instead, use “their blood ran cold” or “they felt their face heat up”, it’s so much more inclusive and in my experience, it leads to better writing because you spend more time explaining the why those things happened

for the love of all things holy, don’t let your love interest run their hands through the MC’s hair. you can’t do that with all hair types. i understand, it’s a tender thing, but you can show tenderness without having that happen. instead, rubbing circles onto the back of hands while they’re being held, back rubs, shoulder touches, forehead kisses, cooking for each other, have the MC play with the love interest’s hair (if possible)

if you’re writing a character who is neurodivergent, disabled, trans, LGBTQ+, mentally ill, etc. and you’re not any of those things, please, for the love of fuck, do proper research. as a trans gay man with depression and anxiety, i cannot tell you how many fics i’ve read that don’t portray any of those things right. please, do research, talk to actual people who have any of the above mentioned, and have someone beta your fic.

don’t! assume! religion! yes, Christmas fics are cute, but people celebrate more than Christmas! Hanukkah fics are cute! Kwanza fics are cute! shit, just snowed in, cuddled up together during December fics with no religious holiday implied are cute!

don’t assume size! please! i cannot tell you how many times i’ve seen plus-sized readers in comment sections that say “this man could not lift me up” or “fic: he picked me up easily me: no he did not” and it’s sad because plus-sized readers exist! how do you avoid that happening to your fic? don’t include size unless you are writing a specifically plus-sized reader fic. that’s it. that’s literally it. also, don’t include how tight or loose fitting clothes are, it’s generally good to stay away from clothes unless they’re important to the story.

include personality traits instead of physical traits, especially when the LI is talking to the MC (“i love the way that you laugh” or “you always think about the best in people” or perhaps “you get so worried over me, i’m fine, really”)

“i’ll never be as good as *insert writer here* :( “ yes, babe, you will. you know why? because every writer is different. we each have our own set of skills, so play to them! also, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone!

you love to write whump? write that fucking whump baby. be the best whump writer you can be

you love to write fluff but you wanna give a go at angst? do it! play around with it! no one said you can’t have both in the same fic

you only know how to write smut but you want to get better at fic overall? start with the build up to the smut, and go backwards from there, the why the two characters are engaging in smutty activities, the how, the when and where and what got them to that point. the better the build up, the more satisfying the smut.

not comfortable with writing smut/ you tried but smut isn’t your thing? then don’t write it. very classic case of “My Kink Is Not Your Kink” and “Don’t Like It? Don’t Read It”, except it’s the writers edition

if you are really good at writing emotions, but terrible at intersections, or vice versa, read fics that have good interactions/emotions, see what that writer does, and try to replicate it with your own spin on it. read from multiple writers, find the ones you like the best, and why you like those the best, and then do what they do in your own way

i hope these helped you, because i had to learn this shit the hard way. feel free to reblog and add your own advice, because i’m not perfect and if i left out an important piece of advice, add it!

happy writing, babes!

#indi talks about writing #writing meme #writing #writing fic #writing tips #writeblr #fic #fanfic #reader insert #oc fic

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ajoblotofjunk · 4 years ago

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I was going through my first outline for HFoG and wow that is some wild shit. It was so different! For fun I thought I’d share some of it so you can see where it veered dramatically off course.

The first couple of chapters are the same, the first differences really start in March.

March (Yr 1) - Two weeks later in mid-March is first race - Did you declare the oil?/Of course I did, gods, Jaime, I know what I'm doing. /I saw you studying the regs again.; pit stop argument, etc.; Early pit stop, Jaime thinks they're too slow, is watching the racers pacing him, zooms off a bit too soon and Brienne is FURIOUS with him for putting them in danger, they have a huge fight and it's the first time he backs off a little and apologizes. She says 'if you do it again, I'm done.' I promise I won't. 'There has to be trust, Lannister.' 'Jaime's shorter, you know. You'd save a whole syllable. Could be critical in the pit.' She rolls her eyes. 'Fine. Jaime.'; Brienne in response makes Jaime learn how to stop exactly where he needs to; she stands in front, knowing he'll hit her if she doesn't trust him. I'll be the front jack. He makes a comment and she's like “this is serious, Jaime.” He swallows and nods by her use of his name. “Okay then. Let's practice.” He's still wounded from his team betraying him, he doesn't trust them, but he trusts Brienne. (This is all between the preseason and first race)

(Ed. note:That thing about the syllables shows up in the wedding night sex as my own personal shoutout TO MYSELF because I always loved that line and it never made it into the fic in the end and I’m an enormous dork.)

May (Yr 1) – Bronn places dye in Jaime's gloves so when he shakes hands they're blue (but Jaime laughs, he's the happiest he's been in years, he's driving loose and confident and reckless but he's winning for now); Martyn's payment comes due & almost fucks up Brienne (he's on tire duty, he is slow on the pneumatic during a practice and asks for her help and she comes over and he releases it as she's going for it and it almost breaks her wrist. It's obvious he did it purposefully and the crew swarms him, Bronn goes to get Jaime, who comes back FURIOUS and fires him; Arya joins the crew (Willem cleans up his act)

(Ed. note: I forgot Arya was supposed to join in year one. Hah.)

June has most of what ended up being in July, and July has most of what ended up being in June. Then:

August (Yr 1) – Two weeks in he shows up, middle of a hot, lazy summer; they have a great time; he drives the F1, they grow closer

(Ed. note: No sexytimes at all on Tarth. No sexytimes at all until the second year, which is one of the best changes I made.)

September (Yr 1) – Wins a race, shirt off, spray w/champagne; they kiss first time before crash ('for good luck' he says; realized he felt like he always did at the start of a race day, blood pulsing with the need for action and the roar and vibration of the engine under him); BEFORE he loses his hand, he's about ready to have sex with her on top of the car but he's got his celibacy thing and he's like “after the race”) and then he crashes the next day so their first time takes awhile. (He's glad she didn't know what he was like with two hands, he's worried he couldn't compete with that Jaime.); crash happens at Griffin's Roost end of Sept. (he hit Red before that for talking shit about Brienne; does Vargo Hoat cause the crash (Martyn gave him secret access to the info & the building w/Connington's help - oh snap)); she's watching, he takes the corner too fast and then in the second between watching live and turning to the screen, his car is flipping. She sees his car and her brother's car superimposed on each other, when she'd snuck out to see it at the impound after.

(Ed. note: The original reason they don’t get together in the first year was because Jaime had a celibacy vow during the race season that he kept as sort of a ‘good luck’ thing, which I’m super glad I dropped. Not my finest plot device. 😂)

Oct (Yr 1)– Brienne convinces Selwyn to start a team and signs Jaime based on Brienne's belief in him; She ends up driving him fast to get that feeling back. But he's a complete disaster, drinks too much and makes a fool of himself, cruel as a defense mechanism, obsessed w/Brienne but doesn't want to bring her down

(Ed. note: This was a period of time where the Arctic Monkeys’ “Do You Wanna Know” was influencing everything I was writing and I wanted him to be very sweaty and wrecked and this is also a thing I’m glad I dropped. Brynn and I actually talked about this a lot - whether Jaime being cruel to her after they’ve started getting together would be a dealbreaker; at one point he was so mean to her she just left for Tarth and that kickstarted him into wanting to get his act together, but a lot changed and so did that, thankfully)

Nov (Yr 1) – Brienne tells him the news after the World Championship when he's super down on himself and that she will be his race engineer and have Bronn as his chief mechanic because she blames herself for not paying attention (which she doesn't reveal until later); and Pod and Arya and most of the crew; she says no December break, you have to work for it. “Why?” he asks. He starts rehab. They start fixing up Selwyn's F1.

(Ed. note: Oh I forgot she surprised him with the news they were starting a racing team for him. Hah. Wow this version was SO DIFFERENT.)

Dec (Yr 1) – She surprises him by bringing in Arthur Dayne to motivate him; they get FIA to agree that he can have a modified steering wheel. Jaime has conversation with Selwyn – you have more money than you let on. 'I wanted Brienne to have a simple life.' 'Then why did you let her come with me?' 'Because you were the only one who didn't look at her like she was a freak.' Jaime is- OOF.

(Ed. note: I knew I wanted Arthur Dayne to show up, but he was playing a more active mentoring role in this version, and then once I really started getting into Jaime being left hanging alone with the ‘Kingslayer’ stuff, I was pissed at Arthur and realized it wasn’t okay for him to just show up. Heh. Also - that line is actually in the final version of HFoG, so some things do stay!)

Jan (Yr 2) – (they don't have NEARLY as much money as with Lannister Corp – look at this for ideas of how that will play out: https://us.motorsport.com/f1/news/tales-former-f1-chief-mechanic-952404/3045945/)

(Ed. Note: I did end up using a TON of the reading and research that I did throughout the story, even in the final version. Races were especially helpful for me to see the wild things that COULD happen - like Brienne coming in to pit with two flat tires. However, the Evenstar team having a much smaller budget never came in to play as much as I thought when I first started. There were some hints of it - their meager ‘cafe’ in the paddock, only having one wing at the end, not having all the extra parts teams normally would, but that article is actually pretty interesting for other ways the really shoestring budget teams have to cope. The LanCo LST was really helpful for me to get around the reality that having a car that can compete at the top level requires an absurd amount of money.)

Feb (Yr 2) - Oberyn Martell had won instead, his first championship ever, and he had not seemed happy when he took the trophy. Brienne had been touched when he'd dedicated it to Aerys and he'd had the trophy sent to Aerys' family; Rumor hinted they'd melted it down and sent that to Jaime Lannister with a note calling him 'Kingslayer,' but it seemed so medieval and cruel Brienne couldn't believe it.

(Ed. Note: Oh geeze I totally forgot about this subplot! There was a whole thing where the Targaryen’s HAD done that and Jaime held onto the trophy as sort of a self-flagellation and then he ends up throwing it away before he proposes to Brienne. Hah.)

Mar (Yr 2) – how he loses one race: https://www.dw.com/en/f1-sebastian-vettel-loses-his-cool-as-lewis-hamilton-wins-canadian-grand-prix/a-49120669

Apr (Yr 2) – he gets really frustrated and shoves all the tools off the table; “I'm not cleaning that up,” she said and walked out on him.

(Ed. note: Honestly a little sad I never kept this scene in some form. It could have been good.)

Jul (Yr 2) - (He puts the old-school lollipop sign in her hand. You tell me when you're ready.)

(Ed. note: this would have been ~symbolic~ because the lollipop signs were what the pit crew used to use to stop a driver in the pit lane and then released him back on the track, but it would have taken too much to explain and it never felt worth it.)

Aug (Yr 2) – She says he needs the rest; he wants to be with her; they have sex; she admits she's been reluctant she didn't want to curse him and he thought she just wasn't interested though he adored her. He says “you're the best luck I ever had.” They finally get together for good.

(Ed. note: I held onto that “best luck I ever had” line for far, far longer than it deserved. I mean it almost showed up in the actual proposal scene and luck had ceased to be a thematic thing between them.)

Oct (Yr 2) – He shows her the interview from their first week – this moment, and he paused right after her story, when he'd stared at her with what she recognized now as adoration; this, he said, is when I first fell in love with you. (That's how he tells her he loves her.); Bronn gets sick, she has to be Chief Mechanic again, she's terrified about Jaime crashing but she works a couple of races and everything is okay. Bronn comes back.

(Ed. note: So - this was going to be Brienne’s big emotional subplot in addition to the relationship. Her being Chief Mechanic again after she was his mechanic during his crash. That was why I ended up changing everything, because it wasn’t enough.)

Nov (Yr 2) – he wins the World Championship; they get fastest pit time record; they find each other in the crowd, Jaime pushing through the media scrum and other racers and everyone and he sees her tall and blonde and tears in her eyes and they find each other and hug and kiss and he doesn't care.

(Ed. note: He had been the more reticent one which was absurd. So many good changes from this version.)

January (again) - He retires to work with her and Selwyn on Tarth; they start a racing school with a focus on underprivileged and disabled kids, as well as girls; Brienne keeps getting calls to be a mechanic for another team (will she?? No, she loves being home mentoring girls interested in being mechanics)

(Ed. note: The karting school was there from the beginning!! But again I didn’t really understand Brienne in this initial outline, and I’m so glad I spent the time thinking more about her and what she wanted. I think the balance between them really worked to give the story so much more depth.)

#heart full of gasoline #my fic #writing life #behind the scenes #long text post #i really did forget HOW different this early version was #i'm glad i kept all these old notes

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firerwolf · 4 years ago

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With Shadow of Reach giving us another hint that 343 is going to bitch out on their narrative choices I spent part of the day just thinking of what I would do if I was left with the task of writing a story to follow up Halo 5. And I don’t think I came up with to bad of an idea and I’d thought I’d share it. So basic plot of what would me my Halo Infinite building directly off of the Halo 5 that 343 made. It starts out with basically Palmer making the argument to admirals that they need to take action fast and they're all unsure of what to do because she has the Guardians and Palmer laying out plain and clear that Cortana's strategy is shit, because she clearly knows nothing about combat. So they need to use that to their advantage, use the fact that she's little more than a child with a gun they have to outsmart to get it away from her. So because she's the one that opened her damn mouth Palmer gets saddled with the job of figuring out how because the admirals find that easier than agreeing. So she comes up with the basics for her plan, which starts with Requiem and doing what 343 was to dumb to have blue team do because they wanted that shitty scene with Halsey at the end of Halo 5. So they give her a prowler and Blue Team to get the job done because it's stated in 5 that only blue team can stop her and they head to requiem with the express want to find schematics of the guardians so they can find a week spot, anything they can about the forerunner networks, and anything that can help them delete cortana(seeing as we know worms work to delete part of AIs from First strike basically finding something that could deliver that to Cortana). So they go to requiem and this is where the actual game would start. Upon arrival they find Witness who controls the fucking planet, and she agrees to help them interact with the domain but she's still cleaning up so you have to fight some prometheans to get to the domain. during this part you'd learn different weapons, vehicles, and it would be alluded that the domain is a living thing. When they get to the domain with Witness' help they communicate with the domain and it agrees to trust them with the information if they free it's warden. this is where they find out that Cortana has enslaved her army(because slavery is something else we should overlook just like mass murder) and the Spartans realize they can kill two birds with one stone. They can do what the domain wants while removing her army. So they get the stuff and they head back to Infinity and that's where you get Halsey involved, give a speech that she should make up for her mistakes and this would be where you'd paint Cortana more as an embodiment of the worst aspects of Halsey because of rampancy(would give the cortana fans that were betrayed in 5 an out to be able to separate the monster from the character that died in 4) and Halsey and Glassman would get to work on building something to deliver a worm, a code to counter the control code, and the Spartans would examine the Guardian schematics to find a weak spot and start planning. Everything gets made and the Spartans set to work saving the day. They find a guardian that's solo because Cortana doesn't know how to allocate resources or they could use the stupid rebel place from bad blood though i wish that book didn't exist. They use the opening they've found, fight their way through the guardian to the communication's network, and they use what the Domain gave them to assert the liberation code on the AI in the guardian. From there it gets passed on by choice, the AI on the guardian willingly sending it to other guardians through the network to free them as well. The spartans leave the guardian an head back to Infinity and as they do, thinking they've got a guardian to study and learn more from and the research teams are getting ready it suddenly leaves, slip spaces away. They find out it turns out they all did, the AI just took them, leaving only cortana with her shitty penultimate guardian and now suddenly without an army and with a pissed off universe that together is a threat to her. So the different species have a bit of a chat, there's some hurt feelings on all sides of course but they decide that they need to strike and kill her to which Palmer informs them that she has a way but they need to find her guardian to do it. This is where Halsey can really make up for what she's done and independently thinks of where she would go if she was cortana. She suggests that the guardian would be at John's original home planet, basically where a mentally broken and desperate Cortana would go, cling to what small things she knows about John for safety. So the spartans prepare and Infinity and a fleet of gathered different species ships go to where the Guardian is, because Halsey is right. John send out a open channel message to Cortana telling him that he wants to meet with her, that he wants to help her so she'll let him in. She agrees, plays the pity card and is her annoying self. From here in my head you could have been playing as either John or Palmer, because 343 is clearly not above stealing things from other games so why not gender choice from AC. But here is where the spartans split up and you have to play as certain spartans. John gets into a pelican and heads toward the guardian, and aware that that is where Cortana's focus will be Palmer and the rest of blue team get in a prowler or owl and head in a back way. So John meets with Cortana and she rants, shows her true colors as she does highlighting that she's just the worst parts of Halsey turned up to 11. And when she reaches out to John he instead shows her that he has the device build to infect her with the worm. Betrayed Cortana attacks John. It's a game so something like she puts up a shield and you have to break the generating points to get to her and it's a hard fight and finally everything is broken and Cortana, is left cornered when over the radio Kelly reports that the network is down. Cortana expresses disbelief and then it switches to the other team. They infiltrate the guardian and fight their way to the network but their goal is to shut it down. This part would be a wave defense, that when the final wave is over a ton of knights show up and that's when the Warden comes to the Spartan's aid, cutting them down before he vanishes. The network is taken down, effectively trapping Cortana on the guardian so she can't try to upload herself somewhere else. And that is where the twist is. because it switches back to John standing over Cortana and he attaches the device onto her and activates it. She's crying like a bitch and asks how he could do this to her. They had something special, and that's when Palmer says something like "Some special bond. you didn't even notice I’m a half foot to short." The twist being that Palmer is in John's armor, and John is in hers with blue team. There would be a final scene there where the warden would tell them that the AI have come to a consensus that their actions aren't forgivable and that they're going to destroy themselves along with the guardians because they're too dangerous. palmer and the Spartans leave, agreeing to let the warden destroy the last guardian removing them from being a future problem. You'd have an epilogue where John has retired and he writes a letter to Palmer informing her that he feels like she and the Spartan IVs can protect humanity, that he can finally rest and he thanks her for that. If you wanna get really nerdy he passes on the torch by gifting her the coin that started him on the journey of being a Spartan.

#halo #don't know if i'll ever write this as a fic #if i do it will be down the line #gotta finish blue 5 #but it's an idea #and enough for a story with some real thought and heart to it

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incorrecttwoset · 4 years ago

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Lesson time with Dani:

youtube

I think the lesson we all learned here today is why do we still watch top ten channels? Or just... list channels? In general? Like sure, i watch them sometimes when i know the info is real and legit like top 10 Philippine urban legends you've never heard of (lol thats a lie, everyone knows that literally every Philippine university is fucking haunted and i grew up on that shit bitch) but when the listing is so BLATANTLY FAKE with the most clickbait thumbnail, why do people still fuckin fall for that shit, ugh. Didn't we already learn from last year's youtube rewind? Jesus...

Anyways, let's get on to twosets... CRITIQUE on their top 10 hardest instruments.

10. Drums. Oh. My. Fuckin. God. So the conductors are literally just hired to fucking stand there and look pretty? And that all that practice of trying to play that song or piece oN TIME WITH AND WITHOUT PERCUSSION was for nOTHING? Oh my gosh, i never kNEW. And like, dude. Driving needs all four limbs at once, is it considered doing four separate things at once??? Fucking nO, BECAUSE ALL THE LIMBS ARE DOING AND ACCOMPLISHING ONE GOAL. AKA DRIVING. And like, AJSKBSOSDJ watch twoset's explanation. I don't think i can properly explain without going into a rant... its also midnight and my brain is fucking deteriorating. (Even more so with this top 10 video)

9. Pipe organ. Dude, i was immediately lost after they showed the bumblebee clip. There are!!! So many!!! More good!!! And more amazing!!! Classical pieces!!! Than fucking bUMBLEBEE!!! Dude, you could've just asked her to play Bach toccata and fugue in d minor. oH, AND SPEAKING OF TOCCATA AND FUGUE IN D MINOR, WHY DID YOU- AJSNSJDKANDK YOU PUT THE ORGAN IN THERE WHY DID- ASOFBEIFJEK OKAY okay. Im calm. It's just different recordings, its fine. And the sentence the guy said while that clip was playing? Bro, i watched that part multiple times, and i sTILL don't get what you're trying to sayyyyyyy. And the divine intervention thing? Bro, i wish this top 10 vid had a divine intervention.

8. Acordion. Dude. Let me just... let me just pull a direct quote. Ahem... bASS NOTES ANE KEYBOARD DOESNT MEAN YOURE OLAYING TWO INSTRUMENTS. I just... the levels of frustration ive ascended to. My god, for once im glad that i didn't get to post this at midnight. Gave me some time to gather my head so i can watch this without fucking bursting.

7. Oboe. Oh boy. Dude. I've learned a bit of recorder and im pretty fUCKING sure that you make a sound by moving your fingers and lightly blowing into it, not by fucking folding paper origami with your mouth. And like, the moistness doesn't even matter that much. Your mouth will naturally moist the mouthpiece, you don't need to fucking spit on it. God.

6. Guitar. Okay, first time i saw guitar on this list i actually laughed out loud. (No offense guitarists i still think yalls music is great) Also, what the fuck. What the fuck. What the FUCK are they saying. First, yall say that it's all played the same way. THEN, you follow it up play saying it has tons of styles?! Oh my god, its like the video inforgraphics made for the scp foundation all over again... fam i haven't even watched that vid but i already know its shit.

5. Piano. Like twoset's point, if you're making a top 10 HARDEST, gET SOME HARDER PIECES AND RECORDINGS. DUDE, THERES FUCKING LISZT, RACHMANINOFF, THE LIST GOES ON. God, yall could've found a recording of La campanella and i would be fine. Fur elise even. But okay, sure. Do whatever. At least twoset gets more content this way. And wOW ALL THOSE HOURS OF PRACTICE WAS USELESS AND FOR NOTHING?!?!?!? aMaZiNG!!!! Can you tell i want to die.

4. Harp. Like I said earlier, if you're gonna play a recording of a piece, might as well make it match to the instrument but okay sure this is fine. Put a fucking recording of an ORGAN piece to the harp but okayyyyyy sureeeeee. I mean i get that musicians can play whatever they want but like, dude. This is a list. Do some fucking research. I don't even think i need to say anymore on the subject. The boys already said it all. And im tired. I just woke up and immediately, i am tired. Tsvtwt, please bless me with pics and fancams pLEASE.

3. Bagpipes. Do i need to reiterate my point from harp.and piano? Also, wha- how- why- dude. Ugh, all the shit this guy said in this entire video can just be slapped onto literally any instrument, as twoset said.

2. French horn. I have never met any brass players but, im pretty fucking sure you don't need an ego the size of texas to play that. I just- man, i wanna go back to sleep. It's morning already and fUCK analyzing how fucking wrong watchmojo is, is killing me.

Fuck dude, i had to scroll thru tsvtwt for energy. This is how wrecked my bad is. I never take tsvtwt breaks in the middle of making these posts. God...

And dude. Theremin is so much better than that. Agt... yall couldve hotten a better recording...

Anyways, back to the listing.

1. Violin. (Heavy flashbacks to instrument ranking vid) Dude. Wh-why you showing a fiddle recording. I- just look at my points for piano and harp. And dude, holding the instrument is probably the easiest part. Watch me sink into the floor and turn into a puddle of frustration guys.

Sigh. I think the lesson we all learned here today (other than the lesson up top) is that all instruments are hard.

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fandomsconfuseme · 4 years ago

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I have been playing in my head with an idea for a fanfic (i actually never wrote fanfiction but oh well) and would love if any of you guys could tell me if you think i should try to write it!

Headcanon:

After It is defeated Richie is the one that goes to see Patty and explain everything and since every other loser is occupied doing something with their lives (Mike is traveling, Ben and Beverly are together and Bill goes back to his wife) they end up leaving Richie completely lost without realizing, so he becomes friends with Patty because they are both in a "what now?" moment in their lives. Patty finds out she is pregnant and Richie offers to be there to help.

Fast forward 9 months and Richie and Patty are trying to take care of this kid while having zero idea what they are doing. Bev is pregnant, Audrea is pregnant and Mike found a girl he really connected to in Florida, they got married and are now expecting twins. While Patty was pregnant Richie basically started going out and getting drunk in order to try to feel something beside numbness, having quick sex with any boy or girl that took his mind of his life. When the kid is born he stops drinking and straights up his life but by that time he got a model pregnant.

Fast forward 18 years and we have 6 adorable kids:

Anne Uris (18)

She grew up with Richie and Patty and basically became a mini Richie with better sense of style. She is the one that is always cracking jokes, is always ready to fight but can barely talk about her feelings. She plays a ton of instruments and dropped a lot of other ones, loves skating, is always wearing her dad shirts and t-shirts with some dark acessories, is confused about her sexuality but has supportive parents that tell her that at the end of the day she doesn't need labels and it doesn't matter and she is the first one to call people out on their bullshit (like Stan).

Samantha Tozier (17)

Richie got full custody of her when she was 4 because she is trans and her biological mother didn't "agree" with it so ended up becoming psychologically abusive. She is a ray of sunshine and is really similar to her mom (Patty). She is the nerd of the group, allways talking at the speed of light about some new subject she adores, she loves history (especially queer one), is totally a bookworm and an activist, loves studying cultures and learning new languages for fun (she is fluent in 5 but can understand a ton of other ones with a little bit of help). She also got Richie interest in sex (haha) and while she is in fact a virgin she is always reading smut and ends up being the one that teaches good sex education to the others and gives them shit about being safe and stds (like Eddie would). And while her sister is not the most touchy person ever her love language usually involves physical contact, they complete each other, are always doing stuff together and are also best friends.

Ruby Hanlon (17)

She is one of the popular kids, plays volley and really likes math and fashion. She sometimes gets involved with drama for the guys she chooses to get involved with (that are not always the best ones) but is a strong cookie and a feminist that would not turn on another girl for something a guy did. She is extravagant and loud and lovely to be around, she has friends from completely different circles and with completely different interests and its good at seeing people for who they truly are.

Theo Hanlon (17)

He is allways fighting with his sister and hates drama but is the first one to get involved to have her back. He is in the Track team and is always getting medals because he works hard and loves running. He is the person that is allways there if you need, loves hearing his friends rambling even if it's about something he knows Jack shit about and although he wouldn't admit it to his sister his family is one of the things he cares the most about. He is really popular with girls but has been in love with Samantha since they were little kids (she also loves him but they are just too dumb to realize each other feelings so everyone has to silently face palm themselves while they go on about how they won't say anything because they don't wanna ruin their friendship).

Adrian Hanscom (17)

Adrian is loud and vibrant, he is openly gay and having Bev as his mom means he can always have clothes that scream his personality, never apologizing for who he is. At first glance people might say that he just wants to have fun all the time and doesn't think about the future but he is actually the one that worries the most about which path he wants to take because he doesn't really know what he truly loves or wants to do with life. He likes to experiment and try new things and has a closer relationship with Ruby and they are two vibrant puzzle pieces that belong together.

George Denbrough (17)

He is the quiet kid, loves to dance and plans to do it professionally in the future. He is closer to Samantha and Anne but adores Adrian, and might have a little crush on him if you ask the others. He loves musicals and cats and has a laughter that is always louder than anyone in the room, he adores his younger sister (i didn't put her on the list because she is not exactly a main character but she is 5 or 6) but has a hard time connecting with his parents. He is the person that you would go to if you wanted to talk about your feelings without being judged and without them giving you advice in return.

Samantha has anxiety but is in therapy and talks openly and healthy about it. George is currently pretty much depressed but believes that since he doesn't think he is clinically depressed and he doesn't "have reason to be depressed" he shouldn't worry his parents about it. Ruby has a bad relationship with food that her friends are trying to help her with.

Ideally this would be a Fix it fic, the Tozier-Uris kids decide to research about Derry and their parents past because they wanna learn more about the people their parents love and end up finding things that Mike missed because of bad translations and lack of information available at the time. They decide to go back and try to save Eddie and Stan and the other kids get involved and go with them.

Another idea i played with in my head was Eddie having his sperm conserved as a way to try to delay Myra "requests" (more like manipulative behavior) to have kids, and Myra finding a way to use his sperm some years later because she is lonely (this would be HIGLY unethical but hear me out). And while researching about Eddie, Anne finds out about his kid and decides to find him because she believes he would be important if they are really using magic for this. She ends up finding a way to work as a babysitter for Myra but the kid doesn't really communicate a lot with other people and hates physical touch (i thought about making him autistic but i would have to learn more about the spectrum to portrait it accurately) and she is actually not that good with children. So one time when she tries to get close to him he basically has a meltdown and she calls Samantha who actually knows how to help and ends up getting close to the kid with time passing. From that point forward Samantha always goes with Anne and while Anne is researching about Derry, Pennywise and the Tuttle she is playing with the kid and starts building a strong relationship with him, teaching him what real family should feel like, not something overbearing and stressful but unconditional love, support and mutual understanding.

I don't know if i people would read this, specially since the main characters wouldn't be the Losers so please let me know your thoughts in the comments. Thank you :))

#reddie #it 2019 #it stephen king #It #richie tozier #richie trashmouth #Eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #stan uris #beverly marsh #ben hanson #mike hanlon #fix it fanfiction #Richiexeddie #I would really appreciate if you commented because i am super lost

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jacksonxschuester · 5 years ago

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Overboard || Beau/Jackson

Date: January 19th, 2020 Tagging: @thatbeauadams @kirinrhodes (Referenced in the starter) Summary: Jackson and Beau go out sailing on Sunday afternoon. They entertain the idea of running away, but everything changes when Tropical Storm Sue hits full force while they’re on the water. As inexperienced sailors, the boat flips and they have to make it to shore and somehow survive. Content Warnings: Darker themes, open water, life threatening situation, injury, hypothermia

This was quite possibly the worst idea Jackson had ever had. But ever since Beau had agreed to it, and further fuelled the idea, Jackson had been doing tons of research and watching lots of sailing videos. Luckily the island was equipped with a few small sailboats. They had asked for permission to use one, of course, they weren't stupid enough to try and steal it from the dock. They just... may not plan on returning it. Feeding into each other's desire to run away was probably not a good idea for either of them, but Jackson was quite honestly just relieved to have a friend who wanted to do this with him. He'd never be brave enough alone, especially on a sailboat when he's never even been on a watercraft his entire life. They had happened to run into Kirin on the dock, and the Dom had happily assisted them with getting started, giving them a crash course in how to push off the dock and get going since he had sailing experience. They thanked him for his help and as they began to set sail Jackson was already forgetting the names of the parts of the boat, but he had a vague idea of the steps still. "No- Wait! We need to um... tie the um... I can't remember what it's called. That thingy!" He pointed. "Tie it to um.... that other thing." He pointed to something else.(edited)

It was stupid. Beau knew it was stupid. Neither of them were sailing experts, and they would probably be found out before long, but hell, it was nice to entertain the idea for a while, that they could get away. Maybe they had enough recently acquired knowledge and dumb luck to actually pull this plan off. Maybe they could both run away from their problems and make it happen. Beau snorted, wrestling with one of the ropes from the sail to try and tie it to one of the hooks like he'd seen on videos. "Like this, right? To get the sail open or something?" he asked, grunting with effort as he struggled to tighten the knot.

Jackson nodded. "Yes! Exactly like that. See? We're pros already." He stepped forward to help Beau finish tightening the knot. "There... What's next? Do you remember?" Jackson asked, suddenly second guessing himself. He had definitely over-researched and was now overthinking the whole thing. He was nervous, of course. He'd never done anything like this before. He was not typically an impulsive or adventurous type. He was trying hard to keep a brave face and pretend like he knew what he was doing for Beau's sake. He hadn't told the sub anything about what had happened before the trip yet. He wasn't sure he could, or even wanted to, talk about it.

Beau chuckled and stood, stretching his arms a bit. even though he would never admit it, there was a flutter of nerves in his belly. What if they actually did manage to pull this off? Shaking his head, he banished those thoughts, looking back to Jackson. "Uh... I think one of us needs to be here," he said, patting the end of the sail that they could shift to control the direction. "But other than that I think we're okay for now? Sail's open, we're moving... and I have the map thing on my phone to get us to the nearest island that isn't Sue's."

"Okay... right. Let's take shifts. You wanna go first?" Jackson offered. He took a seat, taking a deep breath. The smell of the ocean air was intense, but in a way, Jackson found it calming. Maybe it was years of buying "ocean breeze" scented candles, which smelled exactly like this, minus the stench of fish. "Should we just stay at that island?" He wondered out loud. "If its not populated already, the laws can't touch us. We can live out our lives there and we won't even have to worry about finding a claim." He shrugged.(edited)

Beau nodded, making himself comfortable on the seat near the... thing he needed to hold. "Sounds good to me. Maybe? If there's no one there, we can go total Survivor mode and just hang there. Even if it is populated, I'm sure there's a way we can get like... a black market claim or something. After that we don't have to adhere to marks or anything. We can just make a life together, you know? I think you and I could find a way to be happy in each other's company," he admitted, looking down at his lap. "Not romantically or anything. Just as friends. Non-traditional life partners. That kind of thing."

"I get what you're saying. We could definitely make a good life. I'm not sure I want to know what a black market claim looks like though. Maybe if that island is populated, we should just get back on the boat and find the next island?" Jackson looked back at the island they'd just departed. He had a feeling of simultaneously never wanting to see it again, and wishing he could return to find everything had changed. Realistically, he was nothing more than live bait in a survival situation. But it was nice to pretend he felt confident that they'd survive.

He chuckled. "I mean like... one where we don't have to prove how into our marks we are. Just someone to give us official paperwork and shit without all the pomp and circumstance," he clarified. "But maybe. As long as whatever deserted island we find has some kind of resources, I think we could figure out the survival thing." Sure it would suck most likely never having sex again, but it had only brought problems into his life.

"Ohh. That makes sense. That's gotta be expensive though, right? I didn't bring any money. I guess we'll just play things by ear and go with the flow?" He shrugged. He looked up. The sky was starting to get darker. "Do you know what time it is?" He hadn't thought it was that late when they started sailing, and he'd left his phone behind because he didn't want anyone using the GPS to trace them.

"I can find a way to access my accounts without alerting anyone. They're all under my name and I have a decent amount squared away from the pod." And his fans would be disappointed, but honestly... he didn't know how much longer he could go seeing Ryder and Archer all fucking loved up and feeling like a constant afterthought. His nose wrinkled, and he looked at his phone with a frown. "It's only like... three? It definitely shouldn't be getting this dark...."

Jackson tried to dispel the feeling of unease the darkening sky gave him. "Maybe it'll rain?" He said, not really liking the idea of rain on this voyage. He'd only just learned to sail, he didn't need rain on top of it. "So, how much do you make off that podcast anyway?" He asked, curious.

“Maybe? I... it kinda looks like it,” he agreed, his stomach flipping nervously. Beau made a minor adjustment to the sail, clearing his throat to center himself. “Uh, about 3 grand a month now? Between sponsors and patrons. It’s a pretty sweet gig.”

Jackson blinked in surprise. "Oh... wow. That's... really impressive. Good for you." He said. "I keep thinking I want to try selling my art, but I'm so nervous about putting it out there."

Beau flashed him a soft smile. “Just gotta take the dive, my friend. You won’t know until you try.” He glanced to the horizon, realizing with a gulp that the sky was getting darker.

Jackson supposed Beau was right, but he still had his doubts. "Do you think we should turn back?" He asked, the island they'd departed from was starting to look a little small, but it was still present on the horizon, if a bit shrouded in fog now... where had that come from?

He looked back as well, his heart thudding a little bit when he noticed that the island looked a lot farther away now thanks to the fog. A distant rumble of thunder grumbled. "I... probably. This looks a little gnarly and definitely not something we're prepared for. Fuck," he muttered, going to the - rudder, maybe? - to try and shift the direction of the sail.

Almost too suddenly, the water had begun to act up. It hadn't been as noticable when they were traveling in just one direction, but now that they were trying to turn every wave they hit was obvious. As the boat rocked Jackson gripped the side. "Um... keep turning?" He suggested. He wrongly figured the faster they turned around the easier it would be to head back.

Everything seemed to suddenly be moving too fast. The wind picked up without warning, making it difficult for Beau to turn the sail. "I'm... trying," he grunted out, struggling. "Come help me? The wind is getting too strong for just me," Beau pointed out.

Jackson stood, and had to use various things around the boat to stabilize himself as it was difficult to walk normally. He made it over to Beau and helped push. They managed to get the sail to turn just as it started to rain. And then a guest of wind amd a wave came and rocked the boat wildly. "Beau, hang on!!" Jackson yelled, clinging to the boat. Luckily, the boat stay upright, but in this position they wouldn't have that kind of luck for long. They need to angle the boat so the stern was perpendicular to the waves, not parallel like it was now. But the sail was suddenly out of reach... how did that happen?

"Shit!" Beau stumbled as he tried to keep hold of the lever, rain streaming down his face. He tried to muscle the sail into the proper place, to try and turn the small boat, but the wind kept jerking the canvas back, making the boat rock even more crazily. "Jackson, where are you?" he called, the rain getting even heavier, making it difficult to see even the few feet.

"Here!" He yelled, he forced his way back to Beau to help with the sail, but the wind was too strong for them both now. Another large wave pushed the boat causing Jackson to lose balance and fall against the side. The wave kept growing, pushing the boat up high and almost entirely on its side. Jacksom was disoriented, he had no idea how close they were to the island now, but he was pretty sure this boat was not going to make it there. "Beau!! Hold on to something!" He called.

His heart was thudding in his chest, the sound of it almost drowned out by the sound of the rain and waves. He held on as tight as he could, one hand on the rope, one hand on the handle as he struggled to stay on the deck. "Jackson!" He twisted his head around to see where the switch was, finally able to make out the shape of him on the boat. "Jackson, don't let go!" Out of everything - Beau knew he couldn't lose Jackson in this. They would get out together, get safe together - because he had a feeling this boat wouldn't be staying afloat much longer, the waves thrashing more wildly around them.

Jackson felt helpless as the boat thrashed about, at this point there was nothing he could do to stop it as the unforgiving sea pushed again with all its might, and the boat overturned. Jackson felt his body enter the cold water and the air left his lungs just as quick. His first thought was that this is how he was going to die, but maybe that was okay. He struggled to draw breath to call out to Beau, but he clung to the overturned vessel with all his might. It would sink eventually, he knew that. But until then he had to hang on. At least until he knew Beau was okay. Once he knew that Beau was okay, he wouldn't worry so much about hanging on. Finally, after many attempts, he weakly called out, "Beau!!! Beau are you okay??"

The feeling of dread that pulsed through him when the boat flipped wad even more chilling than the thrashing waves. Beau spluttered and fought to break through the surface of the water, miraculously still hanging on to a length of rope from the boat by the time he burst through the waves. Jackson. He had to get Jackson. "Jackson, where are you?" he called, clinging onto the boat, working his way around it until he bumped into something decidedly softer. Jackson. "Fuck... come here, we h-have to stay together," he said through chattering teeth, looping the rope around Jackson's waist first, clumsily tying a knot as tight as he could before doing the same to himself, his hands rubbed raw on the rough rope.

The rope was smart. Beau was the smartest person Jackson knew, sometimes. The waves were still going strong, tossing them and the boat around as they both clung to it. "W-what do we d-do now?" He asked, fairly positive there was no way this could end happily.

Beau swallowed hard, trying to think through the mind-numbing cold and the thrash of the waves around them. The boat was going fast, and he knew enough that even a small boat would try to drag them under. "We... we h-have to try to get back to shore," he decided, looking toward the horizon, the island barely visible in the distance through the rain and wind. "I don't know how but we have to try."

Jackson sputtered as water splashed right over his head. He looked in the direction of the island, getting to shore was surely an impossible task. "I... I'm n-not a g-good s-swimmer." He said. "A-Are you s-sure?"

He swallowed hard and nodded. “The boat’s going down - we have to try to get back. Just... hang on to the rope, I’ll work on getting us in.” Beau had no idea if he would be able to get them to shore, but he would try, Damn it. Swallowing down his panic, he looked to Jackson and nodded before beginning to swim, his muscles almost instantly beginning to ache.

Jackson felt a surge of panic course through his chest as Beau let go of the boat. The switch held on for a moment longer, scared to face the unknown. But he had to let go... he released the boat and began to follow Beau as best he could. He wasn't a swimmer, but a certain amount if Instinct kicked in and told him he had to keep his arms and legs moving. It was extremely difficult, especially with the way the water kept moving and thrashing them about. Jackson was struggling to keep his head above water, but he could still feel Beau on the other end of the rope. That's all that mattered right now.

Beau did his best to keep swimming in the direction he thought the shore was. The waves were forcing him under more often than not, and the rain made it hard to see. He didn't know how long he'd been working at swimming when he looked up again, noticing that the shadow of the island seemed larger than before- closer. "Come on, Jackson, we're getting there!" he called, his voice raspy. With renewed strength - or something like it - he kicked harder, a rush of waves forcing them forward beyond his control. He had a split second to see what they were going to hit before it happened, and he turned his body, trying to make sure he took the brunt of the impact against the rocks and not the switch attached to him.

Jackson could hear Beau yelling, but he wasn't sure what the sub was saying. He was exhausted. He was freezing cold. He didn't want to keep going... a wave picked them up and pushed them forward and Jackson had only milliseconds to react when a large rock appeared in their path. Jackson saw Beau turn but there was nothing he could do. The sub hit the rock, and Jackson hit Beau... he luckily had the presence of mind to wrap his arms around Beau and roll his own body so they would continue to be carried by the waves instead of stuck pressed against the rock. "Beau! Are you okay??"

He pressed his lips together to prevent the shout that wanted to come out when the rock slammed against his back, scraping his skin even through his sopping shirt. Fuck. He swallowed hard, holding onto Jackson and nodding. "I'm fine, just... shit, there's more," he hissed out, the waves carrying them closer to shore but closer to shore meant more rocks in their way. He did his best to take most of the impact as he could, every part of his body seemingly taking a hit until, by some miracle, he felt his feet brush the ocean floor while his head was above water. "We're almost there!"

Jackson tried his best to keep them away from the rocks, but they were both at the mercy of the cruel ocean waters. Jackson's limbs were numb by this point. He was having trouble staying focused. He felt his body collide with rocks once or twice, but it seemed like Beau was taking the brunt of the force. Jackson had long given up hope by the time Beau felt the ocean floor. Jackson couldn't feel anything. He was so cold... "G-Go a-a-ahead....." He told Beau. "I c-can't g-go f-further." He was pretty confident now Beau would make it to shore, but he didn't need to keep weighing the other boy down.

Beau looked to Jackson and shook his head. Adrenaline was still pumping through him, though his muscles burned with the effort he was putting in to trying to get them to shore. "Like hell am I leaving you," he replied in a fierce growl, unaware that his eyes had watered. "Come on. We're getting there together, or we're not getting there at all!" He wrapped one arm around Jackson, his legs screaming in protest as he started walking towards shore, spluttering as waves and rain pelted his face relentlessly.

Jackson tried, to his credit. But he was finding it difficult to move his limbs at all. Somehow, though, Beau managed to keep going. The closer they got to shore the farther away it seemed to Jackson. They'd never make it... how could they? Jackson kept stumbling here and there, but through some force of will he managed to stay upright until they were almost fully out of the water. The cold air on his cold, wet skin was making him shiver uncontrollably. He couldn't stop, and his legs wouldn't work anymore. He fell against Beau, trying his best to not collapse completely.

He felt like he was just breathing in water, the cold air burning like salt water on his abused throat. Beau grunted when he felt Jackson's weight collapse against him but somehow, he managed to get them both across the beach, under a copse of trees where it was slightly less rainy. Only then did he let his legs give out, collapsing onto his back and crying out as he put pressure on the many scrapes covering his skin. His head was spinning - had he hit that too? "Jackson?"

Jackson blinked, and suddenly he was on land again. Were those... trees? He heard someone say his name. Beau. It was Beau. They were both on the ground, still soaking wet... Jackson still couldn't stop shivering. "Wh-What n-now?" He asked, trying to stay with it.

He shifted as much as he could to the other man, some part of him thinking that body heat would be important. They had to warm up somehow. “Someone’s gotta be looking... they’ll find us,” he said, tugging lightly at Jackson. “C’mere. Fuck -“ he hissed as his shirt dragged over one of many cuts. “Have to... try to be warm...”

Jackson moved closer to Beau at the gentle tugging. Warm was a concept he couldn't even imagine right now. Beau's skin felt cold too, but at least it was better than the cold air. Jackson was slowly becoming aware of things like sand and blood sticking to his skin. "Y-you're hurt..." he observed, trying to brush some sand off his arms.

He winced as he moved one arm to wrap around Jackson. It wasn't much - but he could try. Beau shook his head, vaguely aware of a warm trickle by his temple - he'd hit his head harder than he thought. "I'll be fine. Been through worse." He let out a slow breath, closing his eyes. "I know this might be hard for you right now, but just breathe and stay close. They'll find us soon. Breathe - breathe with me," he muttered.

Jackson wasn't sure how things could get much worse than this, but that was a conversation for another day. He tried to breathe, like Beau said, but his lungs were weak and tired and he still couldn't stop shivering.

#beau #para

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parabellum-rpg-archive · 5 years ago

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Congratulations, Joss! You’ve been accepted to play Amelina Martinez. Your request to change her FC to Emeraude Toubia has also been approved. Please make your page and send it in within 24 hours.

Admin note: I’m very excited for the future plotting! - Admin J

IC INFORMATION — CHARACTER DESIRED Amelina Martinez DESCRIBE THE CHARACTER IN YOUR OWN WORDS I think the word that stood out to me most in Amelina’s bio is 'obsessed’. Her obsession with avenging Luis and her obsession with bagging Morgan seem to stem from the same unexpressed need. She’s stuck always being that 14 year old girl, never able to move on from seeing her brother selling drugs and then later finding out he was dead. The two events are sort of locked into her head, and after that, she stopped growing up so much as simply getting older. Other people can move on from grief, but there’s this block there for her, and I think it’s surrounding the fact that they weren’t actually that close, that he’d already been to prison by the time she was starting high school, that it embarrassed her in front of her friends to see her brother like that. I think there was a ton of shame for her with this screw-up of a brother of hers, and not just a little anger. Why couldn’t he just get his shit together and get a real job and be a real man? Maybe she even said that to him, and then later, he was dead, and she never really got to know him, or take back her words, or realize she should have told her parents. That getting him sent back to prison on a parole violation, which her extremely Catholic and law-abiding family would’ve done, would’ve been better than dying on the street like a dog. I don’t think her parents ever got over his death either. Him going to prison was hard enough, but then their eldest son dying before he was 25 just broke them. So there’s this house with three broken people, and they all handle their grief differently. To me, Amelina is Inigo Montoya, preparing to take out the whole damn Costello gang. What’s ironic is that she hasn’t done the math on Luis getting shot and realized he was probably shot by a Sinclair. In another life, Ameline became a cop and worked a gang detail, maybe working undercover. In another life, she became a community organizer and worked at a youth centre helping to keep other kids from ending up like her brother. In another life, she got married too young to a boy a lot like Luis and got sucked into a shitty life because she felt like she deserved it, as some sort of punishment. In this world, she swore revenge. She became a spy from the beginning, learning about a world that she had no doorway into by sheer will. She spent 15 years figuring out how to get access to a gang, when she could’ve just joined up. But she isn’t interested in being her brother and owned by someone else. She wants to own them. Which leads me to her interest in Morgan. Now, Morgan has a lot of animal magnetism and is obviously gorgeous, but I don’t really think if he were just a man, Amelina would look twice. I don’t even think it’s the power and the privilege he has, though she probably thinks that’s what it is, that drives her to him. She tells herself she wants to be his wife, to supplant Penny, to satisfy him on some level that he no longer feels, but I think those are just surface thoughts. What Morgan actually is for her, is death. Her death drive is jacked all the way up, not to the point of suicide, but to the point where death seems like an acceptable outcome if the result is revenge. She’s had this need for so long, she can’t plan for the future anymore. She can’t have dreams, she can’t have plans, she only has this one thing, and Morgan will use her to get it, and he won’t care if he breaks her to do it, and she wants that so badly. Everyone else in her life looks at her and wants to protect her or love her or just views her as unimportant. Only Morgan looks at her and sees a weapon. And that’s what she’s turned herself into. She can run a half-marathon in an hour and forty five minutes, she’s learned Krav Maga, she has killer aim, and most of all, she can lie so well that even she believes it sometimes. All she needs is for someone to just pull the trigger and fire her at the enemy. What was she up to in those fifteen years? Can you get experience in revenge? She couldn’t exactly go out and find a swordmaster to train her or something. She got a series of jobs that she hated and never got a promotion because she couldn’t care less. She went to school but never finished that accounting degree, or information management diploma, or even that administrative assistant certificate, because the idea of being anything for the rest of her life seems impossible to imagine. She made friends she couldn’t hold onto, and had relationships she didn’t care about, and she just … absorbed information. She went to Costello clubs, she hung with Costello people, she learned about them, and by doing so, learned about the Sinclairs. It actually took her a while to realize the Sinclairs were useful, because at first she thought she could do it all on her own, like people in the movies. After years of collecting evidence, only to realize it was useless because no one was going to prosecute them, and punishment meant nothing to people who owned the system, she finally turned her attention to the Sinclairs, under the principle that the enemy of my enemy is my friend. WRITING SAMPLE Her target, Luca Costello, was drunk as shit and just turned 18. Spending money like it had an expiration date and begging girls to help him celebrate. She wondered if he even knew what his family did for a living. On the one hand, how could he not, when he was surrounded by it all the time? But on the other, how could he really understand what they did and still throw bills around like the world was a game and he’d already won? “Hi.” “Hey. You’re … pretty. You wanna get married?” This wasn’t what she’d imagined. Was it really this easy? “I wanna go back to your place. Take me home.” “Okay. Yeah, let’s do that, we can totally … I have coke at home. And like, every booze. All the booze. I’ll even order pizza if you want!” He smiled and touched her hair. She let him. It didn’t matter what he did. None of it mattered. It was all just research. *** He lay on the bed, passed out after she’d fed him three more drinks and listened to him tell her about some girl named Juliet and how she’d broken his heart again. He’d done a few lines of coke and that had pretty much made him tell her everything she could’ve ever wanted to know, and several things that she didn’t, about his life. It was kind of sad how little there was of it. His beloved twin sister, who sounded like a little bitch, his parents who were equal parts proud and disappointed in him, his friends who sounded like the worst sort of entitled pricks, his older siblings who seemed barely aware of him and who were embedded in the business enough to be soaked in blood. Climbing off him, her t-shirt left back in the living room, since breasts seemed to make men more chatty, and her pants by the side of the bed, to give him hope that they might actually fuck, she sat on the bed and just breathed. What the fuck did she do now? She’d thought this part would be the complicated part, that she’d have to jump through hoops, talk her way in, be so smooth that no one suspected anything. She hadn’t really let herself consider what happened next. Mostly all she could think about was the other Costellos. It was obvious Luca wasn’t really involved in the business, but they were. The oldest ones might even have been a part of the business when Luis was still alive. Had they put him on that street corner where he died? Was he just a scratched out line for them in some notebook somewhere? Did they even care? How could they not realize that their choices had left a fucking cemetary worth of bodies in their wake? Did they look in the mirror and see a monster? She was up and pacing and hadn’t even noticed. No one had ever taken anything from them. No one had ever made them face the cost of 'doing business’ before. They were all pampered, precious little vampires sucking the blood out of Chicago’s poor and desperate. She was back on the bed now, straddling him, staring down at his sleeping face that had never known real pain. What did he have to grieve? A girl who didn’t fall at his feet? He was a stupid little boy, a waste of education and opportunity. He’d had everything that she and Luis hadn’t, and he hadn’t become anything more than they had. It was hard to look at him. He was a boy, younger than Luis, his hair curling at the edges. He was a Costello, his very existence an insult to her own loss. She had a pillow in her hand and pressed it against his face. He didn’t even struggle. He could die like this, and maybe his family would think it was just some sort of freak accident. They would know just a fraction of what she felt, with their money insulating them from anything real. They’d know something, even if they didn’t even know her brother’s fucking name. He was moving a little under her, trying to push her off, when she heard a noise. A door opening. Was someone else home? Had someone come in and she hadn’t heard them? Was it the police? The rest of the Costellos? Did they somehow all know what she was doing? Lifting the pillow away, Lina froze and Luca took a breath. He coughed and his hand reflexively grabbed her bare thigh where it pressed against his. She was straddling Luca Costello’s thighs in a mismatched bra and panties, clutching her murder weapon to her chest like she was about to start a pillow fight. There was a man standing in the doorway looking at her. He didn’t look embarrassed, which was the part that confused her. They both looked at each other for a moment, and Lina needed to think of a lie. Nothing stuck in her head, everything was blank. She knew, on some level, she was panicking. She managed to choke out a gasp, and hopped off of Luca and onto the floor. Stumbling, the blood rushing away from her head where it had been pounding moments before, her feet numb from kneeling on them, she moved like a drunk co-ed. Yes, drunk. She was drunk. She was just another drunk girl, probably one of dozens that Luca brought home. “Oh my God, what’re you doing here?” Her voice was unsteady and breathy, but that was normal, right? Was anything normal? “My cousin texted me that he’d just proposed to his future wife. You two aren’t married, are you?” The question was so unexpected that Lina just automatically shook her head and held out her left hand, as if showing that she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring was the normal response in these situations. “Good. His mother would kill me if he got married the day he turned legal.” The man, Luca’s cousin, didn’t even seem to be really talking to her, he wasn’t even looking at her directly. “Could you … maybe put something on?” Snatching the sheet off the bed, Lina wrapped herself in it and sank to the floor, so much adrenaline in her system that she couldn’t breathe and could taste her own heartbeat. “I’m feeling … woozy. Can you find my shirt?” She just needed him to leave, to go away. He’d seen her face, but what were the odds he’d be able to ever recognize her again? If he would just leave, she could … Luca made a noise like a sad puppy on the bed and fell off of it onto the floor. He didn’t wake up, but was now curled up like a baby. Why had the cousin come home? Why was he here? What kind of fucked up family were they? “I don’t think I know you. What’s your name?” Oh fuck. He knew. He knew she wasn’t one of Luca’s friends, he knew something was up. Someone at the club had warned him, maybe? She didn’t know. But he didn’t know what she didn’t know, did he? She was just a dumb drunk girl. “I’m Lina. Luca told me he had coke. He asked me to marry him but I didn’t say yes … can you see my pants?” Why had she said her real name? She was a fucking idiot. Grabbing her pants, she went to stand up and fell into the bed, knocking herself into the arms of the cousin. She was pressed against his body, and he had a gun, it felt like a bad joke, is that a gun I feel or are you just happy to see me? Only it was a gun, it really was. And he was looking at her now, and she did the only thing she could think of. She passed out, dead dropping in his arms. He carried her. That was the crazy part. He carried her to the living room like something out of a romance movie, only it wasn’t romantic at all, and then just stared at her for a moment. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell somehow, that he was watching her. Trying not to shake, or even breathe too hard, she lay there and wondered if this was the part where he shot her. Was he going to press the muzzle to her head, or just pull the trigger? Would she hear it coming before she died? Christ, was this how it had felt to be Luis? She couldn’t even cry, weirdly calm, like there was a wall and all her fear was behind it, waiting to crash over her, but she couldn’t quite feel it yet. “Amelina Belinda Pilar Martinez. Where do you live?” Oh Christ, he knew she was awake, he was talking to her, oh God, she was going to die now. But then she realized what she was hearing. He was going through her wallet. The wallet that had been in the pants she was holding when she pretended to pass out. Oh fuck, this was even worse. He knew who she was. He knew her name. He had her goddamn driver’s license. “Mike, can you bring the car around? Yes, Luca’s. Just a girl. They’re both passed out, I don’t want her getting into more of his nose candy and OD'ing. Yeah, exactly. I’ll stay with him, make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit. Yes, well, it is his birthday. See you soon.” Lying there, a cold certainty hit her. She wasn’t prepared for this. She didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. She didn’t even know which fucking cousin this guy was. She’d made all these lists, all these observations, all these half-baked plans, but she hadn’t done anything about them. Here she was, lying on Luca Costello’s floor, and she had no idea what to do. What if anything had gone wrong before this? What if Luca had woken up while she’d been smothering him? Christ, what if Luca had been playing music and she hadn’t heard his cousin come in? She could just give up. Admit that it had all been stupid. Go back to her pointless life and just keep living, day in and day out, and eventually die, having accomplished nothing. Fuck that. She would just have to figure out how to be better. She would. And then next time, she’d know what to do. And she’d never feel like this again. EXTRAS She reads the tabloids religiously to keep up with the Costello siblings. Not necessarily a playlist, but pretty much the new album from Billie Eilish is Lina’s soundtrack right now, with a lot of Lana Del Rey thrown in and the Kill Bill soundtrack on top (just because she loves that movie and has seen it 10 times).

Her favourite book is the Count of Monte Cristo.

#accepted

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moistlasersguns-blog · 6 years ago

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B(w)ITCH - Dan Avidan x Reader PART 1

Prompt: "well this isn't where I wanted to teleport, sorry for appearing in your bed at 2 am."

Explanation: Magic shit is going on.

Roles:

Witch = Reader

Owner of bed, and best friend = Danny

Notes:

*Found online, rip

**also onilne lmao kms

***Pronounced Vay-Duh

extra:

(r/name) = random name

____________________________________________________

"Are you ready to record?" I asked, glanced at the two males I sat between.

Guest Grumps.

I was decent friends with Arin and really good friends with Dan, but because I'm a lead actress in a popular TV show of my own called 'Pots and Pans'*, I didn't see them as much as I wished I could. The show is about a stoner and a pansexual person living together as roommates and dealing with life's bullshit while also not owning pots or pans.

The show was taken really well with LGBT+ youth and of course, stoners, which gave it most of the popularity it now has.

I had been friends with the Grumps for a while since we got to know each other a few years back.

So, they thought that maybe it was time that I made an appearance on Guest Grumps, which I had been waiting forever to do.

And there we were, Arin began the episode while murmuring to me;

"You're fucking funny, so don't force anything, they'll love you." then he coughed, "Welcome!"

"Heyyyyyyyyy!!!" Danny happily exclaimed, "welcome back to Game Grumps, but it's a special Guest Grumps this time!"

Arin nodded, even though there wasn't a camera, and no one would see, "That's right, because today, we are playing Super Smash Bros."

I laughed and elbowed him, "Hey!"

"Oh!" he joked, "and (Name) (l/name) is here too!"

"Yay!" Dan laughed, fiddling with his controller.

"So, (name) while we set up, tell everyone what you do," Arin said, clicking buttons to get to the brawl screen.

"Well," I began, "I'm like a part-time Grump now, and by part-time I mean one time, and a full-time asshole so that's pretty cool."

Dan let out a quick laugh, "Nah, for real."

"Yeah but I um.. I'm in the show 'Pots and Pans' I play the latter, (r/name) as the witty Pansexual who can make weed brownies for her stoner roommate." I laughed, "But that shit doesn't matter I wanna play some fucking Smash Bros."

"Wow, woah, okay jeez." Arin huffed, handing off a controller to me (he hadn't done this before because he was attempting to tease me, knowing I wouldn't be able to reach across him to get it).

I smiled, hoping the next half hour or so would be as fun as these two promised.

━━━━✶━━━━

"Okay, so I've always wanted to ask this, and now that we're being recorded I thought that this was the best time," Arin said while being destroyed by my skill in-game.

"Yeah?" I asked, "what is it?"

"I've known you for a while, so has Dan, and we see clips all the time but... First off, why can you fight so well?"

I raised my brow, attention not leaving my character, "Um, I have older brothers. And like, neither of them were typical brothers. One was captain of the chess team and the other, with high heels and makeup on, started a riot about rights at the school. I've always had to know how to beat up people bigger than me since the beginning."**

Dan and Arin both turned to me, "Are you serious?" "Really?"

I nodded.

Arin shrugged and turned back to the game, "Okay, another thing we just recently witnessed is; A bit ago, you were talking to Ross and he said something to piss you off-- jokingly of course--"

Dan, knowing where this story was going, laughed at the thought. I joined in.

"He like, ran away a bit, and you flipped him off, then he immediately tripped and fell flat on his face. what kind of magic shit have you got going for you, because I want some."

"Yeah," Dan agreed, "I could've used that power all of Guild Grumps."

"Fuck Ross," I said, laughing.

"Yeah, fuck Ross." Arin agreed.

"Oh! Also, what the fuck is up with your amazing ability to speak other fucking languages? Like you can just learn that shit?!" Dan brought this up this time.

The themes of these little things were making me sweat, they all had to do with my secret, but I thought I was playing it cool.

"I don't know, I have a good memory."

"Say something to us in another language." Arin mused.

"Uh... Here, I'll do German." I prayed for my necklace, "Fassen Sie mich nicht an!"

There was a bit of silence.

"That means 'don't touch me.'"

They began laughing, "what," Dan wheezed, "are you afraid of being fucking raped by a German person on the daily?"

"Nein!" I laughed, "But like, my favourite thing about German is that like, when you know what the fuck you're doing, like 'step back I've done this shit before', you say; 'Da liegt der Hund begraben.' which means 'that's where the dog is buried.'"

I paused, because the two were busy laughing, "So like, there's a serious fucking thing going on and you know all about that situation you just scream; 'THAT'S WHERE THE FUCKING DOG IS BURIED.'"

"But, German is a truly beautiful language filled with the love of pigs."

"What?"

━━━━✶━━━━

The recording session ended a while ago, so Dan, Arin, and I took a seat in the office somewhere to talk about shit.

"So, (Name), you travel a whole lot, do you feel like you maybe wanna get me a nice little souvenir?" Dan joked, nudging me lightly.

"Oh? I know something you should love." I mused.

He raised his brow and looked me over, "Yeah? What is it?"

I gave him a sly smirk, "A shit ton of tea that will, over time, fix your stomach problem. And then you'll be able to eat whatever the fuck you want."

He stared at me in utter disbelief. Arin exhaled in shock, "Are you serious?" and when I nodded, he looked over to Dan, "Holy shit dude!"

Dan searched my eyes before finally speaking, "I would actually marry you if you got me some of that shit," a blush crept to my face, "won't it cost a fucking dickload amount?" he asked.

I smiled sweetly, thinking about the large tree growing near my home in my gym bag.

"It won't cost me much, promise. I'm going to uh.." fuck. where would they think would have special bullshit enchanted fucking herbs? "Asia.. yeah, Asia, and they have them in a certain spot there. While I'm there also," I said, turning to Arin, "I can get you something, so I think you'll end up with a few more toys for your office, and a few good luck chars so that you don't suck ass at gaming anymore." I shot a wink his way and he groaned with a small smile.

"So do those sound good?" I asked, glancing between the two.

Dan had stayed still, "If you're being serious, I might actually cry, man." he said, trying to laugh it off.

I chuckled, waving it off, "Danny don't cry! It’s all okay, I promise you it will work. On your ten minute power hour, you mentioned that if you could get rid of one thing, it would be your stomach problem, so I did research. ASLO ARIN," I turned to him again, "I may find something that will take the piss stench off your bookshelf."

~~~~~~~~~~

#game grumps #dan avidan #ninja sex party #nsp #avidan #reader insert #dan avidan x reader #dan x reader #danny sexbang arin hanson #danny sexbang x reader #fucking witches #alternate universe #boiiiii #danny sexbang #arin hanson

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comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog · 7 years ago

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billy “carlos” harris

This isn’t the make-a-wish foundation, fuck off.

Carlos has been accepted! Please send us your blog and a faceclaim to be featured on the main blog!

out of character info

Name/Alias: fuckin me again Pronouns: fuck/fucker/fuckself Age: 19 Join Our Discord: ye Timezone: est Activity: u know me Triggers: none fuckers Password: jimmy can fast pass my ass Character that you’re applying for: Billy/Carlos Favourite ships for your character: nothing and/or chemistry

in character info

Full name: William Carlos Harris / “Carlos” Birthday: July 3 Sexuality, gender, pronouns: Straight, cis male, he/him Age and grade: 15 sophomore

Appearance:

Carlos is about 5’9, making him one of the tallest out of his classmates, at least, for now. Though he isn’t very tall, he was usually rather lean throughout his life, until he started to get sick and lose some weight. He isn’t necessarily boney, but he’s rather thin, since he tends not to gain much weight no matter what he does. He’s pretty much as white as the next guy during the winter, but he tans very easily. However, more recently he takes some pretty hardcore precautions to avoid skin cancer by wearing loads of sunscreen –– by his mother’s demands –– so throughout high school his skin has stayed rather pale. He prefers to be pale anyways, so it doesn’t matter much to him; he doesn’t want his skin to become dark and wash out his light brown hair which he sometimes plays with by lightening it, either at the barber/salon or by putting something in his hair to make it lighten by itself in the sun, letting it pop up from under the visor that he has to wear to protect his face in the summer. When growing it out it’s wavy, and though it’s all cut short every few months, Carlos has his hair longer on the top for most of the year.

Despite a diverse wardrobe filled with many different stylish pieces, when you break down his outfit combinations they tend to be pretty similar, at least in shape. He’ll wear a baggy shirt or sweater and/or jacket or hoodie, with much less baggy pants, and even skinny jeans or chinos. On special occasions he can be seen in nice button ups and pants, or even a suit. Carlos does like hats, particularly beanies or backwards baseball caps, however he doesn’t go for the hat if he doesn’t feel like it ‘vibes’ with his outfits. He has to have at least one accessory, however, and if it’s not a hat it’ll be sunglasses, a watch, or a necklace. What he lacks in his body type he makes up for in stylishness, as he’s not afraid to take risks and to bring bold styles he sees on tv or magazines into his world to act like he’s not just a cool guy, but he’s a cool guy who dresses better than you AND your girlfriend.

Personality:

Unaffected by most of the worries that catch his peers, Carlos is used to the unfair, painful aspects of life that others aren’t used to experiencing regularly. Carlos a little punk. He’s used to dropping everything to do something new, whether it’s what he wants to do, or if it’s just being forced on him –– of course, the former is his preference. He loves to live wild and free, sneaking into parties when he can, longboarding around the town with his friends, doing graffiti and other petty crimes. Like most people who share his struggle with illnesses he doesn’t feel bitter about his lot in life. However, that isn’t to say he isn’t a sweet little angel whose kind and suffers quietly. He doesn’t really care what people say; he’s never one to take things to heart, though, living life day by day with hardly a care in the world. Or, rather, with as little care as he can survive with.

Some thing most people don’t see besides his classmates is that, while most people see a sad, suffering little boy, his peers know to be something of a fuckboy. He only talks to girls on Snapchat, and acts like iMessage doesn’t exist. He wears soccer socks with adidas slides way beyond the soccer season. He has the classic fuckboy haircut. Okay, so he kinda respects women as much as any fifteen year old boy can, and he’s not seriously asking girls to bang, but he does talk shit about his mother, and he will like a girl’s instagram but won’t text her back, so he can’t help but give off the fuckboy vibes. In reality, he’s just trying hard to be a normal kid and live a normal live, since he doesn’t know how long he’s really got, and doesn’t want to spend his time isolated because of it.

History:

William Harris was born to Sloane Harris and a Mexican immigrant named Javier Silva on July 3rd. All was well in his life, playing around with the other kids at preschool, loving sports like soccer and lacrosse, until he started feeling sick around five years old he was diagnosed with lung cancer. The arguments between his parents that the diagnosis resulted in caused a rift between Sloane and Javier, as Sloane believed that, despite her family history of the disease, her son’s lung cancer was caused by Javier’s chain-smoking. As the fighting got worse and worse between his two parents, little Billy, as his mother called him, kept getting sicker and sicker. As he was getting sick, his father was kicked out of the home, and went to work on a ranch in New Mexico. William was upset by this, after all the years he has spent with his dad sitting on his lap watching movies and sports, and started to go by the name his father wanted for him, his grandfather’s name — Carlos.

He was treated with chemotherapy when he was five, spending most of his kindergarten year in the hospital. Luckily for him, he was able to keep up with the learning by having his mother speak closely with the school and ensure his education while he was being treated for his lung cancer. He learned his shapes, colors, letters and numbers, and was able to remotely pass kindergarten and spend the summer recovering. He returned to the second grade a new kid, asserting himself as an important part of the classroom and getting closer with the kids in his year. This wasn’t all without complications, however –– he still went in for a lung transplant at some point in the fifth grade, something the doctors suggested if he was ever planning to play sports. It was back to the hospital for a bit, when they found more cancer cells growing in his body. They caught it early, though, and treated it quickly, so he was back to school in no time.

In middle school, his resentment towards his mother for forcing his father out returned onto the board again in a greater magnitude than before, fueled by those new teenage emotions, prompting him to write to Javier to try to build a relationship with him. Soon enough he was being driven two hours south to see his father on long weekends, vacations, and other parts of the year, which his mother, who wanted to make him happy, wasn’t particularly happy about –– even if research showed that his father’s second hand smoke didn’t led to his childhood cancer, but instead it was a prominent family history of cancer on her side of the family, (which Carlos pointed out must’ve been the case after shoving all that secondhand smoke research into her face.) He was back with his parents again, and despite the tension that persisted from the awkward arrangements and meetings, he was going into high school ready for anything.

Carlos was even prepared when he was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia at the end of his freshman year. After knowing his family history, as well as receiving chemo as much as he had, he wasn’t surprised. His doctors and family knew that this was bound to happen, and they were happy to have found it in it’s early-stage, meaning he wouldn’t have to worry about treatment nor the risks of it until it got to the point where treatment became necessary and helpful. He was thankful that this time he didn’t have to be the sick kid who was always out of school, who was always leaving class to throw up, who couldn’t play sports or climb the rope at gym class. The only complication he had to really worry about for now was a lowered immune system, but that wouldn’t stand in his way –– he didn’t care what he shouldn’t have been doing. He’d still eat gross things for dares, kiss strangers (if they’d let him,) and was obsessed with doing whatever the other boys his age did, and even taking it above and beyond. Even with his illness, he was able to focus on being himself and being a kid, and he wasn’t worried about how long he had left until his illness got more aggressive –– he learned to live in the now. So he did.

Sample paragraph:

Soccer practices were always a little much for the tired boy, but none other had compared to this one. He knew it was the first practice of the year and he wanted to make an impression on the coach, saying that he was capable of playing hard. Unfortunately, he was harboring a massive headache and it only got worsened by the noises that surrounded the teen on the field. The sharp sounds of whistles being blown and the shouts of the cheerleading team practicing hurt like hell. The cheerleaders weren’t even supposed to be on the field this afternoon, but due to some poor scheduling, the soccer team had to split half the field with them –– because god forbid the football team have to split their field instead. That, of course, was a ton of distraction for the boys on the football team, and it only made the practice seem longer and earned the team some running laps.

“Alright team, ten minutes of running around the field! And I don’t want to see any wimpy running, I wanna see Forrest Gump, not Tommy Boy!” The team groaned, and Carlos went to his bag, removing his socks, shinguards, and shirt. Though he didn’t really have anything to show off there like the rest of the boys did, he wanted to beat the heat, and didn’t care if he made people look at his thin, pale arms because of it. Popping a few Tylenols for his headache, among other aches and pains, Carlos threw his bag back to the bench and started running to catch up with his team. Ten minutes of running with complaining teammates, some guys faking tying their shoes so they didn’t have to run, and a lot of sweat was probably the worst part of that practice, but soon after they were able to leave for the locker rooms. The surrounding sweaty and stinky boys became invisible to him once he stepped into the shower, turning it on and letting the icy cold water pour over him. That certainly eased him.

Headcanons:

rly likes post malone

hates the whole “wow, he’s a miracle”, “he’s so brave”, or any other well-intentioned bullshit comments regarding his ‘ongoing battle’, or whatever. he isn’t here for some pity party where people make themselves feel good for cherishing the sick kid.

got one ear pierced because he thought it was cool. two days later he thought it looked stupid and now he doesn’t wear an earring at all.

brings his longboard to school and tries to ride it in the halls sometimes. also wears a thrasher hoodie. (yes, the two are connected.)

highkey thinks neymar jr is jesus. is rly into soccer.

once tried to go cow tipping but then he sneezed too loud and the cow woke up and walked away

still dabs in 2018. like the dance move, not drugs

but he also smokes weed

Anything else: fc is ricky garcia

sry my writing is bad and also kill me

#Accepted #kills u #billy harris #submission

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yabrowhodoesthewrite · 7 years ago

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Long Hair Kid, part one

Yay first ever fan fiction great its shit I'm sorry anyways. This has been floating around in my head for a while and I can't wait to write it, its gonna be great. I dunno how many parts it'll have yet, more than two, i think. Any suggestions, plz message me I need to learn to write better ok on to the story here we go

Warnings: some swear because I swear a lot

Word count: 1,434

Connor Murphy x Reader

You could see the sunrise outside your window. It was pretty, but only for a short time; a burst of color, oranges and reds and purples, that slowly faded to a blue grey. Normal. You pulled your knit blanket up over your chin as you watched it fade.

You sat up in bed, cringing as your back cracked obscenely. Reaching towards your bedside table for your phone, you yawned rather loudly, scaring the black and white cat perched on the end of the bed.

“No, Toby, don't leave man, it's like six fucking o’clock in the morning, you're gonna wake everyone else up.” Toby looked up at you, squinted, and walked out of your bedroom. Cheeky little bastard.

Yawning again, you successfully grabbed your phone and tapped the home button. 6:13. Two fucking minutes before your alarm was going to go off. God was testing your gay ass today, Jesus Christ. You let out a sigh.

Come on, man, it's your first day, make some friends that aren't your damn cat, you thought to yourself. Your mum needs you to do good today. Your mum. You rubbed your eyes and energetically threw the covers off your legs in an attempt to hype yourself up. You swung your feet off the edge of the bed and took a couple steps towards the bathroom, tripping on your right foot; the fucking cat was sleeping on your leg and now your foot was numb.

Your mum was a veterinary lab tech, meaning that she helped do veterinary research. A lot of the stuff she did was linked with human medical research. Once she got a job with a company that did research on heart surgery and how you might be able to use pig hearts for emergency heart transplants. You got to help with necropsies a couple times. It was pretty badass.

But you had to move around a ton, which wasn't the best. After a big move like the one you guys had just done, your mum ways so stressed that you didn't need her worried about you or your school or potential friend problems. Today was your first day, and you were determined to make it a good day.

Who cares if it was already half way through the year and everyone already had a friends and you were going to be super behind on everything.

You showered, blow drying your hair so it's all shiny and wavy. You hop ran back to your room and pulled on a pair of grey skinny jeans and, after much deliberation, a gigantic green Yoda shirt you bought at Walmart three years ago. You dug through the small basket in your closet and pulled out two socks, one covered in polka dots and the other covered in ostriches. Fashion.

You grabbed at the back of the chair sitting at your desk and were surprised to find nothing there. That's odd. You looked in your closet, get down on all fours and look under your bed. Nothing.

Your hoodie was more than just a hoodie; after listen to the musical Be More Chill, you fell in love with Michael just a little bit and decided that you needed a hoodie with patches of your own. You sewed on patches from your favorite stores, from concerts, from movies. When you came out, you sewed a rainbow patch right on your sleeve so everyone could see it. Slowly, the hoodie became a collage of who you were.

“Hey, Mum?” you shouted down the stairs. “Do you know where my sweatshirt is?”

“It smelled bad, I put it in the wash!”

“Oh, thanks!” You raced down two flights of stairs to the basement and plopped down in front of the dryer, watching the yellow sweatshirt go around and around.

~~~~~

“Connor, honey, you can't go to school high again. Larry, tell him.”

“Connor, listen to your mother.”

“Larry! You need to set an example for him, Jesus, he needs…”

Connor Murphy grabbed a waffle amid his parents' squabbling and walked out the front door of his house without acknowledging anyone. He probably shouldn't go to school high, his mother's right. It'll just lead to administration calling home again, and his parents coming to pick him up, and a new petty argument between the two of them, the likes of which were tearing the Murphy family apart.

But when had Connor ever listened to his mom?

He stuffed himself into his car; the roof was much too short and Connor was so fucking tall, he had to take out the back seats so he could move the driver's seat back far enough to safely reach the pedals. He plugged his phone into the speaker sitting on the dashboard and scrolled through his music, but nothing seemed right. Second half of junior year, and nothing seemed right. Connor started the car.

In his rearview mirror, Connor saw Zoe rush out the front door towards his car, carrying her backpack and her instrument.

“Connor, Mom says you have to give me a ride-”

Connor drove off without a second thought, leaving his sister in the driveway.

~~~~~

You pulled your hood up over my head as you walked through the front doors of your new school. You unfortunately didn't have a car, so you had had to take the bus to school. Riding the bus with underclassmen. Always fun.

You glanced at the schedule you'd been studying for the past week, hoping that your first class had miraculously changed. English had never been your strong suit, but as your first class, at 7:30 in the fucking morning? You could practically smell the F.

After a few minutes of wandering the halls, you found your classroom. You stood hesitantly outside the door for a few moments. Was it worth it to go in? Your mind went to Mum. Yes, it was. Come on, (Y/n). Friends. Not that hard. You pulled your hood off with a sigh and opened the door.

Everyone was already in their seats, chatting away. Your heart dropped as you realize that the entire class consisted of groups of friends, people who knew each other and, fuck, probably didn't want to know anyone else. A few heads turned to look at you, and you could feel the rainbow patch on the arm of your hoodie screaming Gay! I'm gay as hell! Just another gay dude for you to single out because he's new and no one likes him anyways! You looked down at your shoes. Nope, make friends. You looked defiantly over their heads, searching for a seat.

In the back of the classroom was a kid dressed completely in black sitting alone. You lingered by the door, studying him. The kid had really long wispy brown hair and black converse; he was playing on his phone, somehow managing to ignore the hubbub around him. You could do Long Hair Kid, you thought to yourself; he probably wouldn't even notice if you just sat down quietly across from him.

Right as you put your backpack down next to your seat, Long Hair Kid looked up.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You glanced up, surprised, to find him glaring at you. You could feel the sass coming and tried to stop it, but to no avail.

“Sitting? Getting ready for class? Breathing? I dunno man, I'm tired, I just wanna get this fucking class done,” you said, instantly regretting it when Long Hair Kid suddenly looked furious.

“Who the fuck put you up to this, huh?”

“No one. I'm new and needed a fucking seat.”

“Did one of them tell you to sit by me? Hey, New Kid, go sit by that fucking loser in the corner, it’ll be hilarious?!”

“Who would have told me to sit by you?” The entire class grew silent and turned around to watch the argument. Long Hair Kid stood up.

“All the douches that go to this fucking school!” He slammed his hands down on his desk, making the class jump. “You're one of them already!”

You slowly stood up and locked eyes with Kid with Phone, brushing some of your hair being your ear. Sass Master™️ was in, and he wasn't leaving.

“Look, I don't know who the fuck you think you are. It's my first day. I haven't met anyone here. I'm sure there's a reason you're so distrustful that you get pissed when someone so much as sits next to you, and yeah, I feel sorry for you and all that shit, but it doesn't give you the right to scream at someone when all they're trying to do is go to fucking class.” You slammed your hands down on your desk too, mimicking his posture. “I didn't come to school to deal with this bullshit, so you better sit the fuck down and let me work.”

You and Long Hair Kid stared at each other. One of his eyes was half brown and half blue, you realized. He opened his mouth to say something, then snapped his jaw closed. A few more seconds passed, then his eyes flickered away from yours. You exhaled, not even realizing you had been holding your breath.

Long Hair Kid flopped back down into his seat and started doodling on his notebook. You collapsed in your chair. People slowly started talking again, and the focus was, thankfully, shifted away from you. So much for a good day.

You put your head in your hands just as Long Hair Kid mumbled something from across the table. You looked up at him.

“Sorry, didn't catch that.”

“I'm Connor. If we're gonna be tablemates, you have to know my name.”

You raised your eyebrows. “I'm (Y/N). And I like your hair, by the way.”

“...Thanks.” You thought you saw the corners of his mouth turn up just a little bit as he went back to doodling.

You supposed it wasn't an absolutely horrible day yet.

#deh #deh x reader #dear evan hansen #connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #how do you write #how do you tag #help

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