#and unhinged breakdown of everyone's sanity

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

STAGED LIVESTREAM SUMMARY S1

BABYGIRLS, BITCHBOYS, AND BOYCOTTERS OF THE BINARY, HELLO MAGGOTS OF MINE. Can you tell it is past 5 am and I just took my sleep meds? We all know how well that goes for my post-making prowess *stares at my good omens part 1 update on Neil's blog*.

BUT that is a regret for post-sleep me to have. When the sun rises I'll go to bed, it's a fucked up sleep schedule but hey the sun and I can't be up at the same time we'd all combust from the hotness. Oh I'm going to regret this so much. But I feel like it's only in this state that I can do justice to that goddamn livestream.

STRAP IN BECAUSE THIS IS A LONG POST AND I WILL NOT CUT IT BECAUSE I WANT EVERYONE WHOSE DASH IT LANDS ON TO YEARN FOR SPIRTUAL EYE-BLEACH.

Soooooo without further ado, or should I say much ado about nothing (see I can reference Shakespeare):

The stream starts, and we are witness to David Tennant being pointy and chaotic, Michael Sheen being adorable and enraged, and Simon looking close to tears at all times, which is a fucking mood.

I am witness to a disturbing degree of thirst every time Michael turns to the side. Michael in profile, they all swoon. I am concerned.

I'm reminiscing about my lockdown memories. David looking confused in a hoodie is very fucking relatable. Once, I started sobbing because my wardrobe looked like a wardrobe. It was a time for us all.

However, everyone else is busy yelling about different showings of Hamlet, Richard the Something Number, etc etc. No one is paying attention to me and my poor poor memories.

Now, I read original Shakespeare when I was like 13, .I like him. But I do not have this level of expertise. FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS, I beg.

No one pays attention. I am sad.

I go off to sulk.

By which I mean I actually pay attention to the show. So maggots reading this and wanting an actual summary, this is the only time you're going to get it, because it was when I was watching.

Basically, Simon (I'm gonna refer to their characters as them but for the record it's scripted, I'm being so considerate to the people who're here for an actual summary) digs himself into a hole, Michael does not like him and makes that very known, David offers to get Simon out of the hole and in the process digs both of them into an even deeper hole, and Samuel L Jackson (is that his name) and Michael become unlikely allies to get revenge on David.

Rather than an apology dance, though, David has to stand in a corner. Meanwhile, Georgia and Anna are the only ones actually functioning at their lives, Michael gets blackmailed into servitude by his neighbour, and Simon holds back tears. Judi Dench is involved (that's her name right).

Now as you can see, I am paying full attention to the show until this point. At this fucking point though, I make the poor choice of opening the stream chat.

@thescholarlystrumpet's profile picture is a certain angel. Focused on... the lower half.

Everyone in the chat is talking about Aziraphale's thighs.

This derails. Everyone is now talking about Aziraphale's dick.

Strumpet insists vehemently that the thighs are the focus.

Everyone says the thighs are only there for framing purposes.

You know me, maggots. I'm drawn to chaos, shark to blood. So I end my sulk at not being the centre of attention, and delightedly hop into the chat.

Someone (@vitrilol it was you, I believe? until confirmation, I'll refer to them as Ari) says they wish someone liked their thighs.

So naturally I say I like your thighs.

Oh, swoon, the flirting, you maggots would be scandalised. I'm quite the charmer. It is delectable. We take it to the bedroom. The bedroom is the stream chat. There are gasps.

Another maggot says that this is simply mine and Ari's room, and they're just in it. So then I tell them, why simply stand and watch? They should join in.

They say they have mixed experience with threesomes. I ask who said we're capping it at three?

They are far more comfortable with the idea of an orgy. An orgy has now been initiated. Some people express concern. Others are entirely on board.

Some say they are afraid they're too old for the said orgy, they're old enough to be my aunt. I say nonsense, you wanna orgy, you orgy.

Ari takes this opportunity to wonder if I'm old enough to be their aunt. They then hasten to assure me that they like MILFs.

I find this hysterical, because I am a nineteen year old guy whom people have said gives off tiktok fuckboy energy in real life. I make that fact known. I'm glad that being a man and being 19 does not exclude me from being a MILF, however.

At this point, Ari points out that at least people find me attractive, even if it's a tiktok fuckboy way. I am unsure that being attractive is worth giving off tiktok fuckboy energy. (Thank god, this is not my only vibe. I also have unkept stinky teenage boy, witch and Jane Austen debutante princess, but weird).

Someone else says that hey, I'm closer in age to their son than them. I am about to ask whether their son is eligible and how many pounds he has a year, when they add that the son is 12. I tell them I am glad I did not ask those things. They agree.

The show is still going on. Someone is gasping on Georgia's phone, and I assume it is labour (I learned my lesson about assuming orgasms after the good omens pilot). I am correct. A maggot says that labour and orgasms do not sound the same.

I'm a clueless aspec boy. I don't know about labour or orgasms.

There is some debate then about whether screaming in pain is a difference or a possible common ground for those two things.

The orgy is expanding. Strumpet has to step in to say that while thirsting about the actors is entirely fine, please everyone refrain from sexting in the stream chat.

I feel like I should state here for the record that no one was sexting.

Well. Okay. That's a dubious stretch of the truth, but I love dubiously stretching the truth.

David abuses chairs and beds and his limbs with his posture. I relate.

The neighbour nearly dies, then does not.

The internet gives up on the stream. This is fair. Poor internet.

But while the video is lagging, someone mentions that one of their favourite fanfic authors passed away.

Comfort is offered, as is my brand of aggressively gentle love. Basically DON'T FUCKING APOLOGISE, sweetheart, your grief is valid. Strumpet says how in case she should disappear she's given a friend the authority to post her WIPs as a precautionary measure. And now people are crying.

I ask Strumpet to pause the stream. We all get really fucking emotional about the beauty of writing, of art enduring past the lives of the artists, and whether the author knew how much they were loved. This is getting really sad, but in a beautiful way.

We go back to the stream. Who knows what happens? Not me.

But what matters to me isn't what's on the stream, it's what's in the chats. The people I get to talk to. The hope that I can, at the very least, ensure that they are never, ever unheard. That they get the love they deserve.

I'm too sleepy to reread that. Meds have kicked in. Eyes shut time. If I fucked up somewhere in the post do forgive me maggots of mine, it's past 6 am which means the sun has risen and I need to go the fuck to sleep till noon is over at least.

I love you. Love love love. Send me anything you want anytime. My ask box is open. Go wild. You will not be fucking unheard. Yeah? Good. I love you, again, for good measure.

@howmanyholesinswisscheese ya proud of me, dad?

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

Character Flaws vs Writing Flaws:

While catching up on some of the stuff people have commented/sent to me, I noticed someone mention how Katsuki being a bully is a flaw of his and that not every character needs to be a good person.

First of all, when did I ever say that a character has to be morally correct to be a good character? Some of my favorite characters are villains who’ve done worse things than Katsuki.

So what’s the difference between them and Katsuki?

Well, the villains have a reason for existing. Joker is meant to serve as a parallel to Batman, challenging his morals while also showing what an unhinged Batman could look like.

On a much lesser scale, despite his extremely limited screen time, Moonfish’s bloodlust, lack of sanity, and cannibalism serve two purposes in MHA: to showcase Fumikage’s power and to give the readers an example of what the heroes of this world have to deal with.

Katsuki’s flaws are meant to show the flaws of a world that values raw power over morals, but he fails at this. The reason why? His flaws are never allowed to be flaws.

Katsuki’s aggressive and hostile nature should have him struggling to make friends, yet he has the two pillars of 1-A, that being Ejiro and Denkias described by Hori, immediately befriend him with no issues. His inability to empathize with others should have people wanting to steer away from him, but his instead 1-A loves him, Eri loves him despite being the last person who would, and anyone who doesn’t love him is seen as being in the wrong.

Katsuki is meant to be a big fish in a little pond, someone whose ego isn’t challenged until a certain point, and the Battle Trials were meant to show this. While yes, Katsuki has a mini-breakdown over the fact that he’s no longer in a class of people with weaker quirks, he has no issue claiming a spot as a Top Dog and he still continues to demean the people around him.

Katsuki’s aggressiveness is meant to be both a flaw and an asset. His aggressive nature is what motivates him to defeat the villain, but it’s supposed to cause him to have a one track mind when it comes to hero work. Rescue, teamwork, all of that is ignored by him to fight the big bad. His ego caused everyone to have a tougher time during the USJ, but is that ever touched upon? Nope. It’s just ignored. When Katsuki saved Kyouka, there was no buildup to it. It just happens. We never see him struggle with teamwork because everyone else follows him like a lost puppy.

Meanwhile, Izuku is meant to be Katsuki’s parallel in this department. He’s meant to showcase why too much selflessness isn’t good while also showing that a hero is more than just their raw power. Problem is, Izuku gets completely shat on no matter what he does. He goes after a villain to protect U.A? Gets criticized. Does his best to work with Katsuki? Gets blamed despite it solely being an issue on Katsuki’s end. Does everything perfectly? Nope, still not enough. Compared to Izuku, who always seems to be in the wrong, Katsuki’s placed as this paragon of heroic virtues despite the fact both characters are supposed to be two halves of a whole. They’re supposed to learn from one another. Problem is, Katsuki’s flaws are always ignored while Izuku’s positive traits are demeaned.

Finally, Katsuki being a bully is supposed to serve as a starting point for his character. He’s meant to grow and develop as a human being. Again, he doesn’t, or at least he doesn’t do so in an organic way. He never suffers consequences for his behavior, he’s constantly propped up and coddled instead of criticized, and he’s given some heroic moments despite there being no buildup to them. In the span of a month he goes from nearly killing Izuku to risking his life for him. Where the hell did that come from? Honestly, I wouldn’t care if Katsuki being a bully is his sole purpose for existing, but he’s meant to be more than that. This is supposed to be a well developed and fully fleshed out character who grows from his selfishness and is meant to show that anyone can be a hero, no matter their starting point. But when the development is crap and he hardly changes outside of some OOC moments, then his flaws cease to be flaws that he’s meant to overcome. Instead MHA treats it as him being quirky and misunderstood.

In conclusion, you just can’t present something as a character flaw and expect it to serve as an excuse as to why a character exhibits said flaw. You have to think of the following: what purpose does this flaw serve? Is it meant to be used to teach a lesson? Does it set something in motion, whether it be the development of this character, another character, or does the flaw cause the character’s downfall? The only thing Katsuki’s flaws does right is that they set up Izuku’s story, which again would be fine if that’s Katsuki’s purpose, but it’s not. Him being a bully isn’t something that he overcomes in a natural way. His redemption story is the equivalent of filling things out of a checklist without being fleshed out. Every time he screws up, it’s never treated as a screw-up. Oh he failed the hero license exam? Well so did Shoto so he’s not unique there, and the proctors still suck his dick even while he’s “failing”. Him being the reason for 13’s injuries? Never brought up.

Katsuki’s flaws don’t piss me off because they are flaws, but because the writing of his character IS so deeply flawed despite being a centralized character in the story.

Oh, and as always, someone can dislike a character for whatever reason they might have. If people don’t like Katsuki because he’s a bully, then they have every right to. What I wrote is a response as to why I think Katsuki’s a shit character and how it’s not because of his flaws themselves, but how Hori goes about writing these flaws.

[yukidragon]

What would Jack act like when he is pushed to the edge and is mad, by the actions of his Sunshine. And what will act like when he is devastated or even having a break down, once again because of his Sunshine.

I think we get hints of how Jack behaves when frustrated in the “no” route. I don’t think Jack would necessarily get explosive with his anger, but more... unhinged. I think the energy would be similar to this classic picture Sauce posted on their twitter way back when.

As a quick reminder, please don’t repost images privately posted on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon. Sauce gave me the green light to use publicly posted images like these as long as I give credit. Respect and support your local artists, folks!

While I’m talking about supporting the original creator, I need to direct everyone to the Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack kickstarter. There’s less than 48 hours left to go! Hurry before you lose your chance at the exclusive rewards, especially the physical prizes and the chance to direct an episode with one of the romantic leads!

Since I’m plugging links, why not check out my SDJ fanfics Sunshine in Hell and Sunshine in Another world? I’d love to hear what you think about my writing!

Now, back to the subject of Jack snapping.

Jack admits to being angry in the example above, but he doesn’t show an angry expression, does he. No, he instead acts more like a disappointed teacher... an unhinged disappointed teacher.

Let’s also look at this classic example of Jack being very... unhappy with someone.

Jack is caught in the characterization of Sunny Day Jack, and Sunny Day Jack would never just... snap. He’s always happy and cheerful, and whenever he’s unhappy he talks things through with the kids at home as a wise and kindly guiding teacher.

Jack might keep trying to wear a smile even when angry. His words come out more poisonous and cutting (pun not intended, but hey I never pass up a good pun). He knows what words a teacher can say to really cut someone so deep that they never recover.

While I’m looking at artwork whose canon nature is dubious at best and more is to get the sense of the spirit of Jack as it were... (Again, pun not intended, but hey I’m on a roll.) Let’s take a look at one of the first pictures of Jack ever made.

Naturally, the line Jack says in the upper part of the image proves that the story has changed since this picture was made. After all, MC doesn’t know who Sunny Day Jack is until after Jack comes into their life in the current game demo.

Given how important MC is to Jack, how he’s centered his entire existence around them due to how much he needs them... I imagine there would be a dissonance with the idea of feeling such a strong negative feeling towards the person who makes him feel love in a way no one else ever has. When a person experiences some form of cognitive dissonance, they need to find a resolution, and sometimes that can lead to... irrational justifications.

We all make mistakes, right? MC just made a mistake... and Jack is there to help them when they make mistakes. He can’t show his unpleasant, unappealing side to his sunshine. He needs to be whatever they want him to be. His very existence depends on it. Plus... he loves them so much. He wants them to be happy.

So Jack will likely try to figure out why his MC is causing him to be angry... and figure out a way to resolve it. Before it got to this point he would’ve tried to talk it through with them and be a guiding force in their life to help them not make the mistake again. After all, MC would never mean to make him angry, right? He didn’t do anything to deserve it. All Jack ever does is for their sake. All he wants is their love and warmth.

Sunny Day Jack isn’t unlovable like Joseph Cullman was.

I don’t think it’s likely Jack will explode into a yelling rage and breakdown crying... at least not while he still has options. Before that happens, I think his sanity will fray to the point of snapping first... and that’s when others will pay the price.

Angry has a time and a place. Jack prefers to be happy. Angry never solves anything. Jack is a problem solver. It’s why he’s there, to solve all of MC’s problems...

How Jack goes about “correcting” the behavior that made him mad, well... that depends on what MC did exactly... and who might have influenced them to behave that way.

If Jack can’t fix it no matter what he does... if he’s caught in the helplessness of his situation with a sunshine who just won’t stop making him feel angry and hopeless despite how much he loves them and wants to make them happy... Then I can see him finally having a breakdown.

It would be Jack with nothing left, not even hope, just a desperate plea in a ball of rage and despair begging MC to just tell him what they want him to do. Whatever it is, he will. Just, please, need him, and don’t forget him.

Jack just wants to love MC and for them to be happy. Why is that so hard?

Why can’t he be truly loved, even as Sunny Day Jack?

If you want to see a heartbreaking interpretation of Jack snapping at MC, I highly recommend this heartbreaking comic by my talented friend Meta. There’s even a video version dubbed by Jack’s official VA, NaughtyMaus that makes it even more of a punch to the heart.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars

[fruityuncleskeletor]

Even more late night thoughts about Vegas, Pete and how VegasPete came to be-

After writing "Grinch, please!" I had a revelation about VegasPete. A micro one, but still.

It's always SO fucking vital WHEN you cross paths with someone and what point they are at in their lives. If Pete had somehow caught Vegas' attention BEFORE everything began to go to shit, he might have been just another main family bodyguard Vegas railed and bailed on just to stick it to Kinn. Vegas would have moved on to fucking his next target and Pete would have been a(n even more) broken man for it. But like, Vegas' identity as the contender for the title of heir to his dad's position starting to crumble; Vegas' long-running, carefully executed plans being rendered useless by an abundance of muppets being sicced on him (Tawan, Porsche and Pete) - it all ensured that Vegas was on the brink of a HUGE breakdown and life crisis. When he caught Pete, he was alone, overwhelmed and tired of his life of abuse and humiliation. He literally did not have the sanity or the energy available to be cruel and calculated Khun Vegas. I think this is what the recurring label of sad little meow meow encompasses. The Vegas from episode 7 would not have taken his captive along to the safehouse for entertainment. Everything he does to Pete, from the electroshocks to the balls, to calling grandma and to playing cat and mouse with an injured Pete, is coming from a desperate and very basic need to be SEEN before he completely falls apart. On a level, even if not conscious, Vegas knows his number is up and that soon his family will get rid of him in an attempt to paint themselves as the good guys (Korn has no qualms murdering his own brother in front of witnesses, so we know that Vegas' predictions are not unrealistic). This is a man who did not hesitate to torture, murder and disfigure a prisoner just to persuade Big Wang to cooperate, only to then also get rid of Big Wang. This is a man who felt it necessary to spit a one liner at an Italian mob boss before killing him, like he was in an Al Pacino movie. My unhinged son would have made Pete into a matching purse and pair of shoes if he had caught him earlier in the game. And sure, Pete is exceptional and wields untold power, but even he couldn't have gotten through to Vegas if Vegas' armour hadn't been cracked prior. This doesn't take away from Pete's power and his ability to reset Vegas from the ground up, but it does show that life itself is cruel and everything depends on the headspace we are in when we meet someone or go through an experience or another. I also think that Korn was counting on Vegas' sanity circling the drain and taking his nephew out of the game for him. But he did NOT reckon with Pete being able to get through to Vegas because their different brands of crazy are compatible. Korn grossly misjudged Pete, as did everyone in the main family. There's this joke I love, about a new psychiatrist beginning a job at an asylum and seeing an otherwise non-communicative patient pull a length of string after himself. The new doc goes to him and asks: "Hello, are you out here walking your imaginary dog?" and to everyone's surprise, the patient looks at him, scoffs and says, "what imaginary dog? That would be insane. I am pulling the rope after me because it's limp and I cannot push it ahead of me!"

Pete succeeded because a. he was given a favourable window to try and get to Vegas and b. he was willing to do so because he recognised he and Vegas were not all that different underneath it all. Everyone else gave up on Vegas before they even took a closer look at him. It was always some flavour of "ugh, Vegas, fuck that creep" and moving on.

[noperopesaredope]

Encanto ‘Falling Apart AU’

(Inspired by a post made by @horror-ofthe-seas​ that I reblogged and added stuff onto. I’m sorry to everyone who has already had to read my thing explaining this AU)

Okay, so, Encanto AU concept. It’s like and Evil Bruno AU, but also not at all.

My initial thing I wrote was this:

I’ll call this the ‘Falling Apart AU’ (because can I even name things properly ever? Is it even really an AU, or just an alternate version of Bruno’s personality?). My idea of this isn’t even really a villain Bruno AU, just something like this post. For this, everything is close to being the same as canon, with Bruno’s motivations for leaving being the same, and he still loves his family and wants to help them, but he also has some deeply buried resentment in regards to the miracle and how he was treated. He is aware that lashing out is a bad idea and he shouldn’t do anything too extreme, but 10 years in the walls and mainly talking to rats is just generally picking away at him. He is constantly two seconds away from completely losing his sanity, so he will occasionally just have these moments of ‘actually, destroy everything’ but have to remind himself that ‘no no, that would be evil, and we’re not gonna be evil.’

So Mirabel just meets him and it’s like, the song was half right (besides the fact that he is freaking SHORT), he does have a weird look in his eyes, but I’m less scared and more concerned about his mental health. So Bruno’s just out here vibing and clearly needing a therapist, with Mira just being slightly overwhelmed by the chaotic energy. Then he may or may not have a small mental breakdown, and occasionally just have moments of ‘we should destroy the magic’ before calming himself down and telling himself that no, we don’t do that. Then there a few instances of poor Mira having to just grab him by the shoulders and remind him that no, we are not doing that. So there’s just a section of the movie and story that is just; ‘small, vaguely unhinged rat man has anger issues and intrusive thoughts.’

I’d just love that. He really would be that crazy aunt who lives in the attic- I mean walls. Also, he would be a tío.

Anyways, not evil, just a mess who needs someone to keep an eye on them.

[stormyoceans]

if we're this unhinged over just the mock trailer, lord help tumblr dot com when we get the actual show. the brainrot is real rn

WE'RE ALL IN WAY TOO DEEP ALREADY WE'RE IN THE TRENCHES FIGHTING FOR OUR SANITY AND IT'S ONLY A FOUR MINUTES LONG TRAILER I CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN WHEN THE FIRST EPISODE DROPS. IM HONESTLY WORRIED FOR EVERYONE'S EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL WELL-BEING AND FOR THE POOR UNASSUMING SOULS WHO WILL FIND THEMSELVES IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR BREAKDOWN

AT LEAST WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER

[neon-green-reagent]

My Favorite Movies Where A Main Character Loses Their Shit

If you’re like me, then you’re often fascinated by the way mental illness is portrayed in horror films. Which is often... not true to life. And maybe, like me, that fascination stems from your own personal struggles. So that even when those portrayals aren’t accurate, you sort of cling to them and identify and explore your own feelings and hardships through these fictional characters that go through such intense breakdowns. So I made a list! There’s comedy, serious-as-hell, twists and turns, and just all kinds of stuff. Enjoy! 

Evil Ed : Here’s a good example when “loses their shit” is funny. Ed is a film editor who is used to working on art films. One day, he’s reassigned to work on horror films, and his psyche doesn’t take it too well. This is a Swedish splatterpunk horror comedy that references Evil Dead and Reanimator liberally, and I’m shocked more people haven’t watched it. 

The Lodge : And here’s where it’s not funny at all. Grace is a suicide cult survivor trying to start life anew with her new beau. He has two kids who recently lost their mother to suicide due to him, well, leaving her for his patient, Grace. So in an attempt to win these kids over, she’s now TRAPPED with them in a secluded cabin as everything that can go wrong does. It’s a deeply upsetting movie that had me turning inside out the whole time. While Grace questions her sanity, so will you be questioning what is real and what isn’t. I happened to find the ending incredibly satisfying after such a wrought journey, but your mileage may vary. 

Scissors : This film is one, long, Hitchcockian mind game starring Sharon Stone. Stone as Angela is simply trying to heal from a past she can barely recall, but her “luck” runs in the decidedly BAD direction extremely often. Her struggles culminate in a third act fight for sanity as she finds herself trapped and helpless to escape. But! The ending is extremely satisfying. I’ll allow for that minor spoiler to get more people to watch it. 

Possessor : Now we’re getting a bit literal, I know. The main character is an assassin who literally replaces others minds with her own in order to hijack their bodies and commit murders for hire. Then after not fully recovering from a previous job, she takes another job too soon, and mixes too closely with the mind she’s trying to override. Things get psychedelic, and I think it’s fair to describe it that way. Utterly trippy, very aesthetic driven, and fun as hell to watch. With a final blow that left my jaw in my lap. 

Brain Damage : Frank Henenlotter! Unsung genius of trash cinema. Again, slightly literal. Brian encounters a talking slug by the name of Aylmer. Aylmer will provide a delicious shot of brain numbing goo in exchange for brains to consume. The goo is out of this world, and Brian instantly becomes addicted to it and will do anything for another hit. Ends on a shot that I feel should actually be far more iconic in horror circles. 

Psycho III : I know. Duh, it’s called Psycho. Yeah, but Norman Bates has never been as unhinged as he is here. Of all the movies, this one is the most violent, over the top, bloody thing... There’s even a shot of Norman grinning like a maniac, and I can only think that if he’d looked like THAT in the first film, it wouldn’t have flown at the time. Flushing toilets and chocolate syrup and shower knifings aside, Psycho III GOES THERE. And does it all with neon lighting and intense tragedy. 

I think that’s a solid list. Also, I hope this didn’t hurt anyone. That no one found it triggering. For me, this is part of how I cope. Framing how I sometimes feel about myself and my issues through these movies can be helpful, but I know not everyone will feel the same way. 

[johnnymundano]

Possession (1981)

Directed by Andrzej Żuławski

Written by Frederic Tuten, Andrzej Żuławski

Music by Andrzej Korzyński

Country: France, West Germany

Language: English

Running Time: 124 minutes

CAST

Isabelle Adjani as Anna/Helen

Sam Neill as Mark

Margit Carstensen as Margit Gluckmeister

Heinz Bennent as Heinrich

Johanna Hofer as Heinrich's mother

Carl Duering as Detective

Shaun Lawton as Zimmermann

Michael Hogben as Bob

Maximilian Rüthlein as Man with pink socks

Thomas Frey as Pink socks' acolyte

Leslie Malton as Sara, woman with club foot

Gerd Neubert as Subway drunk

It’s just a hunch but I reckon Andrzej Żuławski was having a tough time on the marital front when he made this deliriously nuts arthouse splatter classic. Just a hunch, mind. Certainly Anna (Adjani) and Mark (Neill) are putting each other through the relationship wringer. Mark returns home to ‘80s Berlin after a long absence doing some shadily vague spycraft, only to find Anna’s been finding solace elsewhere. Like many couples in movies Mark and Anna shriek and bellow at each other while a child (Michael Hogben) looks tearily on, but the sense that the stakes are raised higher than Kramer vs Kramer (1979) is cemented when they meet in a café and Mark starts smashing things like smashing things is going out of fashion. It’s all very entertaining stuff, full of “deep” conversations delivered in a stagey way, but the bits where Mark loses his shit are best. Which is good, because during Possession Mark loses his shit a lot; he might even have surreptitiously stocked up on shit beforehand so much shit does he lose. Anna looks like a much better bet for any sense, but it turns out that she too is losing her shit, and her shit losing will reach truly operatic proportions before the credits roll and the viewer is left wondering just what the holy hell they just watched.

Things would be bad if Anna was just messing about with her ballet tutor, Heinrich (a thrillingly unhinged performance by Heinz Bennent, which doesn’t so much challenge the viewer but rather the entire concept of performance itself, and possibly singlehandedly redefines cinematic camp for the next hundred years). Unfortunately it’s even worse, she’s messing about on Heinrich as well with…well, uh, spoiler? There’s a reason the credits include Carlo Rambaldi, the renowned creature creator. I’ve never really been a Rambaldi fan, preferring instead Rick Baker, Screaming Mad George or even Rob Bottin, but Andrzej Żuławski keeps Rambaldi’s work off screen or splashed with gore, so any deficiencies are lost in the very effective shock the visual carries. 

Possession’s greatest special effect is the city of Berlin itself; it is set in Berlin when the Wall was up, see. It seems like some kind of early John Carpenter riff now in 2018, but, yes, the city of Berlin was in fact, post WW2, separated East and West, by a big wall with barbed wire, machine guns and sallow men in warm hats peering through binoculars. A divided city, a divided couple, yeah, all that stuff is in Possession. As is doubling, every clever director’s device of choice. And of course the title has more than one meaning. Sure, you could get all chalk and elbow patches about Possession but that’s on your own time. It’s the crazy shit I warm to and…hoo boy! Because as everything around him becomes ever more unhinged, some semblance of sanity finally possesses (ho!) Mark and he sets a detective on Anna’s trail, and when that works out badly he sets Heinrich on the case. Things look like they are trundling to a possibly merely slightly nuts conclusion when Żuławski goes “Ha!” and sets course for the heart of insanity with a final act that becomes apocalyptically demented and then carries right on through.

Possession’s an overwrought wail of a movie but it’s not lacking in discipline, don’t think that for one hot second. The tell is how the characters’ apparent lack of control in front of the camera is balanced by the total control behind it. Characters stomp around, spin on a pin and hurriedly flail off again, in rooms, down stairs, out of doors up and down, in and out, round and round but the camera stays right with them, it never misses a single step. No mean feat in the ‘80s when cameras were as big as suitcases. Żuławski’s hysteria is (ta-da!) rehearsed hysteria but the seeming spontaneity is uncannily convincing. The director’s control clearly extends to the performances; given everyone is so simpatico in their oddness Żuławski’s plainly had a word in every actor’s shell-like. Everyone is good, but Neill, Adjani and Bennent are volcanoes of thespian awesomeness. 

Adjani in particular is a revelation. She definitely has the hardest (because it is the most ambiguous) part, but she tears into it like a dog with a bag of hot chips. Actresses are eternally undervalued, largely because their roles are frequently underwritten, but here Adjani gets a chance to thesp until something snaps and she grabs it with both clawed hands. The bit where she has a breakdown (miscarriage?) in a pedestrian tunnel and ends up slouched in her own secretions of (apparently) milk, blood and fairy liquid is the kind of frenzied brilliance you’ll die happy you witnessed. Andrzej Korzyński’s earworm of a soundtrack certainly doesn’t hurt either. For a movie so apparently overheated and unrestrained  Possession turns out to be a thing of artistic precision and icy control.

Back in 1981 Possession was an unremittingly bleak spew in the face of optimism and yet…in 2018 the wall has gone, Berlin is united, Germany has healed and is doing just fine; so hope has snuck in retroactively. “This too shall pass” turns out to be the secret message of hope at the heart of Possession. A message secret even from the movie itself; a message equally applicable to divided cities and divided marriages; a message the movie wasn’t built to carry but then history always does the heavy lifting. I first saw this movie reviewed in “Starburst” (a British genre movie magazine, 1977 to present) in its year of release and made a pre-pubescent mental note to keep an eye out for it. Nearly four decades later I can rip that mental post-it note up. Possession was worth the wait.

[openlockswhoeverknocks]

Another trip, another highlights post

I'm back with another highlights post after my birthday trip to the McKittrick. As usual, these aren't in particular preference or chronological order. - Finding Jenna's Nurse up on 5th at the start of my first show feeling jetlagged and giddy at the same time. - Watching Jenna's incredible dancing and how creepy and intense her interpretation is. - Ida's Lady Macbeth. Incredible every single time. - Ida's Lady Macbeth's not so subtle glances at Danvers during the ballroom always plotting and ruminating. - Ida's Lady Macbeth post breakdown bath imperiously demanding for a white mask to help her out of the tub and for another to dress her. After that, the gradual descend into "sanity" as she went back down to the third floor her whole body straightening and becoming stronger the closer she got to her room. - Nick D's speakeasy always throwing a curve ball or two throughout the loop. So intense and funny at the same time. - Emily's Sexy Witch always winning over my heart with her flirting and dancing. - Emily's Sexy Rep Bar solo. Her drowning, her struggle, her breakdown on the floor and Hecate whipping her out of my arms and glaring at me for daring to help her. - Emily's Sexy now being scared of white masks after her solo while she puts her shoes on and running away from us all to get to the banquet. Interesting touch after spending the rest of the loop toying with the white masks. - Ginger's Matron and the wonderful combination of playfulness, loneliness and sorrow. - Steph C's Bald Witch and everything she does. Her ballroom solo is out of this world and I love the gasp/scream she does to stop Macduff in his tracks at the end of the solo. - Dancing with Steph C's Bald at the top of the show after stumbling upon her in the trees and having the decision of who to follow first made for me. - Steph C's Bald and the way she walks. Glides up the stairs remaining super powerful and walking with that animalistic saunter of hers that no one else can quite do. - Andrea's gentle and childlike nurse and her beautiful window solo. - Andrea's Nurse stealing Taxi's teddy bear at the end of third loop and putting it down on the Macbeths' bed. - Ryan's more playful yet still powerful Bald Witch. A brilliant ballroom solo and creepy yet fun interactions. She always changes things up and adapts so well to her surroundings, fellow performers and followers. - Ryan's Bald crawling towards me on the floor, me moving away from her thinking she needed space to get out of the little alcove, her crawling some more, me moving back some more until she grabbed me by the foot and I realised she was intending to crawl at me. Whooops. - Ida's beautifully elegant Agnes. Her gentleness in the 1:1 coupled with a hidden fierceness when she got angry was beautiful to watch. - Jenna's Danvers and how wonderfully weird and sexual she is. I never know whether to laugh, be creeped out or plain old marvel at her talent when I watch her in that role. - Steph C's understated and sad Nurse. The focus she puts into everything she does drew me into such focus that at times I forgot where I was and that all I was doing was watching her fold some pyjamas. I could've still watched her do that all night though. - Sarah's ridiculously intimidating yet thrilling Danvers. She has such authority around that building that I'm not surprised the Porter just shrank away from her at any of their encounters. Such a Queen Bee. - At the opposite end of the spectrum, Sarah's sad and vulnerable Agnes and her never ending quiet determination to find her sister. - Elena's super intense Nurse who seems fairly matter of fact and normal until she takes you into a 1:1 and goes completely unhinged. Don't judge a book by its cover people! - Ryan's Lady Macduff. What beautiful dancing coupled with such a nice combination of innocence and giddiness at the impending birth of her baby. - Virginia's Matron. Sometimes heartbreakingly sad, sometimes angry, sometimes plain old creepy but always with an undertone of determination and some deeply buried strength. - Jackie's Hecate and the way she cackles, holds a room at attention and takes no shit from anybody. So good and so intimidating. - Tori's Hecate who feels wiser and otherworldly than others I've seen. Her stare seems to read deep into your soul and not once do you get lulled into a false sense of security with her. I was on tenterhooks the whole time I spent with her despite knowing what Hecate does in the loop relatively well. - Jeff's Speakeasy and how he basically uses the whole of the fourth floor, its characters and audience as a giant playground. - Jeff's Macduff climbing all the way from the ballroom to the mezzanine in order to do the Door dance with Danvers. WHAT THE FUCK?! - Nick D's Porter and his goofiness, sadness and frustration at his situation. Those silent screams he does had me wanting to go up to Hecate and slap her into submission to free her. Except she's terrifying and I could never do that. - Mallory's Agnes making a return and breaking my little heart all over again. She's such a wonderful Agnes full of subtleties that others don't do. I also always get so stressed out when she steals the money because she feels so desperate and panicked it's genuinely contagious. I was SO happy to see her roaming the hallways quietly and sadly. - Ryan's Danvers who I was desperate to see in the role and not being disappointed in the slightest. She has no patience for Duncan and it's brilliant! I loved her dancing around the Macduffs' like she owned the place too. - Telling Ben's Man in Bar so many bad jokes and ruining a joke for him by telling it to Kit before he got to. I don't think he'll ever forgive me for that but it was great. He's also such a welcoming presence you never feel awkward around him. - Similar to Ben's Man in Bar, Ilana's Woman in Bar is so charming and welcoming, all you want in life is for her to be your best friend. - Elizabeth Lindsay's ever falling dress strap still driving me up the wall. - Having many a moment in the hut trying so very hard not to laugh or giggle and luckily, always managing not to. - Bringing in my birthday by being with friends, and watching Evelyn Grey's follies (which I had always been desperate to see and always missed by a week or two). - Being brought up on stage to slap Evelyn and be slapped by her 30 times as a birthday treat (or punishment?). - Being allowed to wait in Manderley until midnight so I could be given drinks and cupcakes and hugged by the loveliest and craziest of friends. I'm sure there's more highlights and I will reblog with more when I remember them but I head is so full of moments and memories I probably need to process a bit more. Hope you all enjoy these and feel free to comment and discuss anything you like! Sooooo much love for everyone on here that I saw on my trip and met properly for the first time. You know who you are :)