#and uhhhhh. i will try for a merit scholarship when i actually start studying there bc
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omg and now we have the confirmation for the posthumous sophie album..
#why is so many things happening. i don't have time to process all thisssss#🗒#also already talked abt this in one of my sideblogs for a stupid reason but sjdjdjjf#got officially rejected from one of the wait listed scholarships. it's so over#(but it's not because im still going but it's so over because how the fuck. money. how. you know)#(even if i can do the. money somehow. how can i. guilt. family. owe. so much. you know)#the other waiting list i have absolutely 0 hope for atp#and uhhhhh. i will try for a merit scholarship when i actually start studying there bc#if im good at one thing im good at grades at least 👍#and ughhhhh i absolutely need to get a part time job or an internship or literally anything#im so scared. terrified. abt everything#what if im doing all the wrong thingssssss#how can i even do these thingsssss im scaredddd i will do it i WANNA do it#ive been trying to do it Really Hard. but!!!!#can a girl like me really live alone and study and work and LIVE in a whole different country.#for the first time in my life ever this is like.#baby decides to take first step on Spiked Floor. nothing goes wrong ever#sorry to overshare in a post that was supposed to be about sophie. but many things occurring
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