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jooneggs · 5 years ago

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Rain, Forever | Namjoon ☁

⤑ Pairing: Namjoon x Reader ⤑ SUMMARY: Since the lack of rain and the coming of Winter, Namjoon hadn’t been the same. He didn’t seem to smile much and his grin never quite met his eyes. He’d lost passion for everything he once loved. Well..everything but art. Specifically that one black and white watercolour painting in the Seoul Art Gallery that resembles a lonely figure standing in the rain.. ⤑ Genre/AU: Fluff + Angst / non!idol Joon + alt!universe Joon ⤑ Warnings: The main component of this story mentions depression and suicidal ideation*, swearing, burglary, suffocation and a sprinkle of magic ⤑ Word count: 7.4k

⤑ Rating: +14

*This story, in no way, attempts to romanticize or idolize mental health issues. I can only say it comes from a personal perspective which is somewhat unique and subjective to every individual.

A/N: A song that touches the crest of my soul and speaks to so many others. I hope this helps, heals and warms many people who, like myself, miss the rain.

☁

“I don’t know whether I should take you seriously or not..”

“C’mon it’ll be fun!”

“You’d better not make me regret this, Kim Namjoon.”

“As long as you trust me, it’ll be fine.”

It was October of last year and you and Namjoon had found yourselves in Haneul Park.

Standing under the shelter of a bleak cafe, he had been tugging at your sleeve, urging you to run out into the open with him. But you hadn’t the slightest clue why you’d want to be anywhere else but under the shelter. It was cold enough in the cafe, but outside it was completely meek. It had been windy yet pleasant just an hour ago, but now the wind was just pelting rain drop after rain drop at the windows.

In a light cardigan and an impractical corduroy skirt, you dreaded the prospect of having to run through the rain to get to your car. You’d taken shelter, narrowly avoiding the rain, and now you’d practically holed yourself up in the cafe after downing two mugs of tea and a triple chocolate cookie. Namjoon, however, was quite the opposite. For the past thirty minutes, his eyes had been glued to the window. Despite his lack of warm-clothes, he seemed more desperate than ever to get outside. While you had finished your cup of tea in just over ten minutes, he’d simply downed his, pouty cheeks sloshing with liquid before swallowing the beverage in one ecstatic gulp.

Now he was standing right by the window to which you’d hesitantly joined him. The rain fell harder that day than it ever had before. Namjoon absolutely loved it. You never quite understood his thinking, but he’d always be willing to explain it to you. He’d said tt was the way the trees moved to the sound, the way the clouds gathered, watched, hovered over you, better than any shelter. It was the way the grass leaned, succumbing to its force, the way the pavement shimmered in its grasp. It was the way it felt to be amongst it all, like an unknown spectator, just a pair of eyes. It satisfied more than any drug could, oxytocin soaking through your pores, melding flesh and bone like a soldering iron.

You wished you could feel just as excited about all these small droplets of h20; you were desperate to make sense of it. Especially when it came to Namjoon.

“Well..I do want to understand.” You spoke, leaning into his pull. At that he only tugged your sleeve further.

“C’mon then, Dew-Drop!”

He walked you toward the door with an overwhelming sense of eagerness. You thought yourself to be mad, but still your hand remained in his.

“So we’re running to the car?”

“Running, walking, admiring the view; whatever you want to call it.” He said, pulling the door open, taking you with him.

“Ah!” You yelped as the first draft of rain lashed out on you “I’d much prefer to just run Joon.”

He couldn’t hear you though, almost dancing ahead. Namjoon was fervent in the rain; he always had been. You remembered meeting him like that, when you used to teach and he came in as a motivational speaker to talk about his career as a musician.

After his speech, you’d been given the duty of cleaning the chairs in the school hall. Eager to finish, you began to stick them out in stacks in the courtyard, and that was when you saw him, far off in the distance, leaning against the rails of the basketball court, rain pouring down his face.

Like the feeling you felt looking at him now, you were magnetized, curious.

“It’s fucking freezing!” You began, clenching at your sides, hopping on the spot “Can we run now?”

“You, miss l/n, are no fun.” He chimed.

“And you’re a polar bear!”

“An endearing term, but i find my pace akin to a cheetah.” He joked “Now chase me!”

Before you could blink, he had bolted across the grass, down towards the car park.

Now, you not only had to fight the rain, but focus on keeping up with your long-legged boyfriend.

They say girls are good at multi-tasking - and they are - they just struggle with things like this because it involves the tedious process of thinking and being sensory-aware all the time; something which lengthy boys like Namjoon don’t take into account.

“A fucking polar bear isn’t this fast!″ You puffed, circling a bed of drooping flowers to further keep up with him,

As the rain pelted heavier, giddiness overcame you. You couldn’t help but laugh, thinking of yourself (merely a few years ago) watching this man, as a primary school teacher, from the playground - almost untouchable, unreal - now encouraging you to chase him, soaking wet, through the rain like lovestruck youth.

“Catch me if you can.” He laughed.

☁

That was three months ago..

Today was March 13th. 2020.

Friday the 13th...

The balcony of your third floor apartment was glowing that day. As you sat on its cobblestone base, dusting your plant pots, you felt the sun cast warm rays on your neck.

Friday the 13th, that one day that came up so seldom, never seemed to hold any negative connotations for you. Every day you felt lucky: to have a quaint little flat, thriving plants, an endless supply of herbal tea at your feet, and of course Namjoon.

Right now you were tending to his favorite small bonsai, gently seated between two lucky bamboo plant pots, shaded by a leafy green hanging plant. You polished its black base, sprayed some water on its soil stones and gently trimmed any stray stalks growing from its arms. Namjoon had called him ‘peet’, an affectionate name that often made you forget that this plant was more an inanimate object than a human body with full-functioning organs. You were often reminded of this when he’d catch you in lengthy conversations, strewn across the balcony floor at night, bonsai leaves tickling your cheek as you tried to lean back further to watch the stars. But these plants were a huge healing tool for you; something that kept you occupied, just as well nourished as them, and excited to see how they’d blossom each day.

Finishing off by cutting the last wandering stalk, you gently got to your feet and headed for the kitchen. Only 11am, you’d had your breakfast but felt slightly parched for a drink. Fortunately enough, when the clock struck 11.10 every day, you’d find yourself coincidentally hunched over a mug of steaming green tea; you knew there was no coincidence, just the pure, unrelenting fact that you loved the warm, floral taste it brought you. It gave you just the right amount of energy each day, and it was always a wonder to watch Namjoon puff his cheeks like a hamsters as he’d swallow a cup whole in one go.

You’d left him asleep this morning, waking at 9am to grab some groceries and sort yourself out. You hadn’t disturbed him since, knowing he was a heavy sleeper and knowing he really needed some rest since working the past few weeks. Night after night he’d been slaving in front of a laptop, attempting to draft and file possible lyrics for his upcoming album. It wasn’t helping that his producer had him on a leash and under a constricting time limit. What could you do but give him the time and space he needed to get things done.

Sealing the kettle and the tea bags, you lifted Namjoon’s mug and carried it over to your bedroom. Approaching the door, you listened carefully for the sound of snoring, aware that waking Namjoon wouldn’t do any good for the level of guilt you felt entering the room anyway.

When all you heard was silence, you decided to nudge the door open and slip through into a darker room.

“Joon, I've made some tea for you.” You approached the bed and placed his mug on the bedside table, anchoring it away from him so he wouldn’t hit it off with his elbow when turning; he was clumsy like that. You watched as he shuffled in response to your entrance, the caramel of his skin sliding against the sheets as he adjusted his neck to gently turn to you

“Mmh Morning.” He yawned, his eyes forming crescent moons as they squeezed shut before opening to clear the haze from his vision. He was a beautiful little shape of a human, shrouded in cosy bedding as he watched you in the dim light.

“You coming out today Joon? I’ve got some exciting things up my sleeve.”

“I can’t..I'm sorry.” He replied, a certain lifelessness in his tone.

“Are you sure? I can make us some cake and we can go to some park. It’ll be nice.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Oh, okay..”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine!” You whispered, bringing your palm to his cheek, feeling its heat coarse through your fingers. “We’ll try another day. Don’t feel bad about it at all. Have a nice rest Joon.”

With that, you slowly turned from him and made your way back out into the living space. You let a sigh wash over you and attempted to rejoice in the fact that at least you had a warm mug of tea ready for you. Swigging it down, you sat in silence, watching the outdoors from the distant balcony window. It was still just as bright outside, much brighter than the bedroom, clouded by dark curtains. You felt sad for Joon, powerless even. How badly you missed even the simple things like swigging tea with him. How long had it been since you’d done that?..

Too Long.

☁

The rest of the day painted itself in a slow and monotonous fashion. It wasn’t unbearable - you got things done - but it all seemed watered into the same actions, the same meaning, the same routine.

It started with finishing your tea, slower than you had intended. Lost in monotonous thought, before you knew it, it had gone cold so you had ended up pouring the remaining portion down the sink. You then went on to finish the laundry, have lunch, check on your beloved plants, read a book, watch TV, yawn and sigh a countless number of times, and take a quick nap.

Before you knew it, the room had darkened and the sky had taken on a delicious yellow tone. Before you knew it, the whole day had almost passed.

You didn’t want to lie to yourself, this is the way the days had gone for the past few weeks. It was just you, the sun, a cup of tea and the rest of the world. Namjoon, every day, had been stuck in the bedroom, occasionally popping out each evening to say hello. Now that was something you had a problem with confronting. You felt it was appropriate for him to get some rest, especially after the few weeks he’d spent finishing up his work. But it had reached a turning point now. One which you didn’t know how to address.

You weren’t too happy about it, but Namjoon was clearly broken. Were you scared to face the extent of his unhappiness? You never wanted to see the one you loved so much feel so hollow. At least that’s how you assumed he felt. You’d felt a similiar emotion before, but never to the extent Namjoon was experiencing. How badly you just wanted to rip the shreds of dread from him like a stuffed toy, or hug him to death and fill him full of love, stitching him back up to like he’d been before.

What could it be that made him feel like this? Perhaps it was nothing at all, just a fragrant aroma of unease that settled upon him - something he couldn’t shake off. When would you build up the courage to ask him? Talking to someone might free him from his bonds, but you couldn’t force him, you just couldn’t.

He had to be the one to make that choice.

Shifting on the sofa and taking a rather taxing stretch, you moved from your napping position and onto your feet. You stepped out onto the balcony, greeted by a golden radiant light, seating yourself on the heated stone floor, your feet nudging blooming plant pots.

You watched through the rustic balcony bars as the air grew wispy and chill around you, a harsh brick wall supporting the stability of your back. The clouds were starting to fade into the distance as stars pushed forth through the air. Was it time for another cup of tea yet? Probably. You felt spurred to go and get one.

“Morning.”

“N-namjoon.” You turned in surprise from the gruff voice to be met with his tall figure slouched against the door frame. “Evening, sleepy-head.”

He yawned in response, ruffling that luscious hair of his that now seemed so tangled through his fingers.

“Come sit down.”

Shuffling, he came to a seated position, one knee bobbing against yours, the other scraping the soil surface of his bonsai. Another yawn again, and his knee was now fully perched on your thigh, his back hunched over, shoulder nudging yours. You watched him as he shook out his tawny hair and took in his features in the setting sun.

“What’s up?” You smiled, your hand resting on his leg.

“Wanted to see you, dewdrop.”

“If you aren’t the biggest charmer.” You grinned in response “I’ve been missing you all day.”

“Yeah..i know.” He whispered.

“Then what’s up? I’m always here for you Joon.”

He sighed, fingers now raking into his scalp. Moon pools, darkened and tenebrous sat under his eyes, his thick lips chapped and his face a starker cream against the fading light. You turned to him, watching more closely, waiting for him to open up, praying that he would just open up.

“If you’re not ready that’s fine, i don’t -”

“No, no..I need to.” He shuffled nervously “I know things haven’t been the same since a few weeks ago. I’ve been pouring all my energy into my work and now I've been pouring it all into sleep and it feels like I've finally used up all my resources - like i’m at a dead end for solace, for what to do.”

“It started a few weeks ago. Things were fine, then all of a sudden, it stopped raining. It was probably just one of those years where the weather just wanted to let up and stay sunny, but for me, it felt like the first. It really did feel like the first time it hadn’t rained. I didn’t know what to do. I was at a loss. All my fondest memories, all my comfort and all my shelter came from the rain - it was a thing I could not deny, and I'm still desperate to get it back.”

“I just..I wish it rains all day. Cuz i’d like someone to cry for me. Cuz then people wouldn’t stare at me. The umbrella would cover the sad face, people would be busy minding themselves. I felt like i just needed to stop, I needed to breathe a little slower because my life and my rap, they’re usually too fast.”

“Yeah..that’s it..”

He let out a strong exhale, letting the air around him encourage the entire earth to fall silent. With that breath, his hand found yours on his thigh, his fingers lacing into your own. A strong thumb pawed across your palm, pressing softly into the flesh, the ultimate grounding tool.

But it wasn’t you needing to be grounded, it really wasn’t. It was him, the friendly giant who had lost all hope and solace to the power of the rain.

“Thank you for telling me. Really thank you.” You squeezed his hand “It’s you i want to protect. If I could hang clouds in the sky and make it rain for you I would..you know that.”

“If only I could find something else to make me just as happy..”

“Hey..” You chirped, a thought springing to your head. “You know i checked on you this morning to see if maybe you wanted to do something? Well..maybe we could go to the Art Museum on the waterfront tomorrow?”

“Okay. Sure.”

“It might help. And maybe we could get a coffee as well and see if we bump into any visiting artists.”

He grinned at you, a sense of adoration and respect filling the lakes of his eyes and the hollows of his dimples. You smiled back, a slow and affectionate grin that you hoped could transcend from your heart, right into his to fix him completely.

“Cool. Well, lets get some dinner on and look forward to a beautiful tomorrow.”

☁

That night, with full stomach’s and a coruscating sunset washed over your bodies, you lay in your bed, arm in arm, the night falling into the next day. You slept on your side, your arms crossed over your chest. Namjoon rested behind you, his stomach against your back, hands set in the violin crests of your waist, his head latched against your neck. Perhaps this was the first time, you thought, in weeks that you’d layn like this. The past few days, you’d been laying in bed alone, or an oceans distance from Joon, leaving him to get the best rest possible without your heat leaching onto him. This felt nice. It felt so much more than natural. He smelt of vanilla, and long nights and restless days. It reminded you of the angel you’d met so long ago.

The only thing you missed was his damp, fresh, rain water scent.

☁

“Catch me if you can.” He laughed.

Running further down the hill of the park, you felt your feet race ahead of you, almost slipping, as you begged yourself to catch up to him. Oaks, maples, alders, zelkovas, and birches all fade into one collective tincture as Namjoon dominated your vision. Despite your distance, his smell, his touch and his colours blocked out all sensory notion and summoning around you. You would not be held by the bounds of nature, he was yours and you were his, and in this race all there was, was blank space and the two of you.

“We’re nearly there!” He yelled again, bringing you from your thoughts.

“I’m -” You huffed. “I’m. So. Close.”

“Ah. So now it is about the race and not the rain. Perhaps you have a newfound love for it?”

In response, you slammed the brakes, watching him as he skipped into the car park, unlocking the doors to your vehicle and climbing in, beckoning you over.

“In your dreams.”

☁

“For this week, to celebrate the Seoul Arts Festival, we are holding a two for one deal for all art lovers. Therefore, your ticket entry to the art museum is only half price! Enjoy your visit.”

The gallery was lit with stars this afternoon. In awe, you walked through the reception and into the main hall to peer at the strings of golden paper in the shapes of stars decorating the ceiling and the walls. Clearly, this week was a week to be celebrated in the arts community.

You hoped Namjoon felt as excited as you to spend this time with him and on such a special day. You watched him, a small smile poking at his cheeks, not giving away whether he was displeased or not. You took the nervous drum of his knee to be the latter.

You always spent a lot of time in each room when you were with Joon. In love with his adoration for exhibitions, each time you joined him, you simply stuck to his side, viewing every single detail of every single painting.

At first, you felt the visits to be somewhat taxing - much preferring living, breathing art such as himself. Eventually, however, you succumbed to his ways - finally realizing that all exhibits were living things with their own lives and stories behind all their individual brush strokes. Like most things, it was him who taught you that, with his silent yet ethereal way of just being and learning and loving.

“Okay..wow, so this is the central room for this real highlight exhibits.” You breathed, Namjoon echoed your awe with a slow nod.

Now this was a room you felt you could really spend hours in. From Eunho, to Hye-Sok, to Eungro, to Jiho, you span around in a flurry of colour as you attempted to absorb the true joy of being amongst all this art at once. You knew Joon felt it too, immediately joining him by the first exhibit to gape at the thatched lines and geometry sitting on the canvas before him. You wondered how long he’d felt this way about the things before him: from paintings, to people, to the rain itself. Had he always been so sensitive and in-tune with his environment? Did he always care so much concerning the life buzzing around him?

After crowding around a few of the exhibits, you decided to head to the bathroom and grab a drink for the two of you. Almost ten minutes in, you’d realized you would probably need a drink to support your long and meticulous visit. Now was the perfect time to head off and grab one.

“Joon, I'm going to grab us a coffee, okay? Don’t go too far.”

“You know i won’t.” He chuckled “This room is way too fascinating.”

Almost fifteen minutes later, and a large queue for the cafe, you hurried back to the central room with two piping cups of pure vanilla fuel. Walking through the doorway, you searched for him in the crowd, but to no avail. You’d told him to stay put, and you were convinced he would do so, but now he’d ran off, almost as if your exit was the perfect opportunity to get away from everything that bound him. It was the perfect inconvenience.

Walking through the room, you decided to take the door to the next section of the exhibit and see if he was there. Entering into a more low lit space, you squinted your eyes, looking for him in every corner of the room. After a short amount of time, you came across his figure, hunched by an exhibit in the far left hand corner.

Positioned diagonally, you could see the features of his face in pure scrutiny. His eyes, wincing, paced back and forth across the painting, his teeth sandwiched between his lip, chewed at it gently.

You’d watched him before like this, staring at paintings, watching life go by on the apartment balcony, tending to his plants, but it had never quite been like this. You stood there for (what?) ten to fifteen minutes, simply wondering when he would stop staring at the canvas..if he would move on. Was he waiting for you to join him? Was the painting simply that jaw-dropping?

“Joon..”

He turned in surprise, immediately standing straight. You smiled at his action, and approached him to look at the painting further. From a distance, in the dim light of the room, the painting was a monochromatic smudge with the tall figure of Namjoon shading its central half. Now, up close, it looked much different.

A figure in a long white trench coat and cap stood in its centre. Beneath him, a flowing stream of black ink submerged the better half of his shoes, meandering forward through the painting and toward a large black hole hanging in the sky ahead. Black arcs of rain shot through the surrounding sky like hasten sparks, falling into the reflection of the figure wavering below in the light of the tenebrous stream. The painting, as a whole, had been crafted in monochromatic watercolour, its brush strokes melting down the canvas like tears to paper. It was a sad yet inspiring vision, you thought.

“It’s beautiful.” He answered, a tear pooling down his cheek.

☁

That night you lay awake for a while.

A long while.

At 9pm, you turned to your side, and slipped out of your bed to sit on the balcony. The weather was tinged with cold, but you brought a blanket to shawl across your shoulders and drape under your naked toes.

You’d tried getting to sleep that night around 8pm. Joon had huddled against the corner of the sofa before bed and downed a mug of green tea, before watching you finish yours, lacing your hand with his and heading for dream-land.

But as soon as you hit those warm, delicious covers, you knew there was something much more pressing calling your name.

Ever since leaving the museum that afternoon, you couldn’t draw your mind from that watercolour painting. Like an obnoxious poster of propaganda, or an inviting store-front display, the picture sat in your mind, a prized possession, and mocked you your entire journey home. You thought about Joon’s face viewing the canvas, the time he spent simply looking at it and the silence and serenity that followed him afterward.

He wanted the rain, he yearned for it, he called for it ever since its disappearance. You only realized this last night, once he opened up to you, but it had made sense. The long showers he took when you were distracted at the grocers and would come home to him singing away to the sound of the running water in the bathroom. The way you would sometimes wake just as he was heading to sleep and watch him kiss the sky goodnight with a certain desperation for the rain to come. Even the long, delicious sips he took of green tea, feeling the liquid wash down his throat and cleanse him of his doubt. It all made sense.

He was waiting for the rain to answer him and it was that singular painting that seemed to pick up his call.

It was that realization, again, on the foot of your balcony at 9pm at night that made you stoop through the house, throw on your shoes and run back to the museum to bring home that painting.

Racing down cobblestone streets and narrow lanes, you found yourself driving all the way back to the museum with only yourself and the headlights of the car to guide you.

All your life, you’d learnt better from the mistakes you’d made and soon realized it was best to follow a calling and take an opportunity when it came to you. Even if it ended up failing. This particular calling was stronger than ever, a migraine in your head, an instinct that screamed that there was more to this painting than what meets the eye. You knew it would help Namjoon.

On special events, the museum closed at the ripe hour of 10pm: in just fifteen minutes time. What on earth were you doing? You didn’t know. You would enter the museum, visit the catalyst that stuck itself in your mind and hopefully the answer would come to you.

Jumping out from the car, you ran toward the entrance, bursting through the doors like some crazed artist, desperate for information.

A man halted you just as you were headed through to the main hall, his gentle touch on your shoulder.

“Ma’am, this gallery is closing in ten minutes time.”

“I-i understand. I just need to take a look at one of your exhibits.”

He nodded, an uncertain look crossing his features “Of course..go ahead.”

And with that notice, you sped walk to the dim lit room without a single thought but of the canvas in your head.

“Good evening, this gallery will be closing in five minutes time. Can all remaining visitors please make their way to the exit on the lower floor. Thank you for visiting.”

With the echo of the final closing announcement following you into the dark exhibit room, you had to make a decision. A dangerous decision.

With no rational thought, plan or hope in mind, you would decide to stay at the museum past its closing time. Searching the room, you peered for somewhere to hide. Unfortunately, galleries never really delivered in this particular apartment, often baring clean white walls and flat floorboards. In your case, frantically scouring the room, you had found an exhibit sitting on top of a white box with a possible way to unfold itself and hide you in it. With urgency, you got to your knees and tugged at the side of one of the corners, digging your nails in, in an attempt to open up one of the sides and slide inside.

And just as if it really was your calling, one of the sides slid open - albeit with a tremendous screeching sound against the floor - but it still very much opened. With that, you were asking no questions, simply bending yourself into a rectangular shape and sliding back into the box, closing the side behind you.

Now to wait.

For a few minutes, you sat in silence, wincing at a cramp in your ankle. Suddenly, you were hearing footsteps and jangling keys announcing themselves in the room. With a held breath, and extreme concentration, you sat rock solid as the steps circled, stopping occasionally to scent out a visitor, and continuing before finally click-clacking goodbye. If there was any time you thought you would be in need of an oxygen tank (surprisingly not in 50 years time) it was now. You were never one to break the rules or to find yourself being ridiculously spontaneous, so this was really a first. You felt on edge, yet devious and buzzing with an electric pulse of energy. It really was time for you to try something new, and for Joon to finally get his dose of happiness.

In a succession of fox-like footsteps, you peeled yourself from the box and made your way over to the painting. You thought, standing still, that the answer of what to do would just come to you.

Certainly nothing had happened straight away, but you were definitely taken aback by the painting in this light. With only the back-up lighting on, a shadow was cast on the canvas before you, washing the monochromatic tone over in a blue haze. Things looked even sadder from this angle, but ever more fascinating. Almost unconsciously, you leaned forward and traced the painting with your finger, letting your palm slide flat against the cold canvas. So melancholy and so mysterious, the longer you stared, the more you fell. Before you could even comprehend your actions, you were again applying another hand to the canvas, feeling its ridges and bends. Slowly, you came closer to it, pushing forward past the small rope barrier to reach nearer in its gaze.

Black, white, grey, it all melded into one in a romantic and tragic spiral of colour. Your eyes fell onto its detail, its strokes, its edges, and soon you couldn’t even tell what you were looking at anymore - simply a puddle of water absorbing your interest, absorbing all consciousness.

☁

“Hello”

“Hello..”

“Are you okay?”

In a buttery, and gooey, and delicious state of silence a voice filled your ears. Slowly you felt your touch, your scent, your taste and everything return to you. You were a warm body on a cold floor, palms clawing roughly at its spongy surface. You were a clouded head, lost in direction, coming to your senses with the figure above you.

Eyes squinting and pleading to open, you heard his voice again. It rang a deep, husky, baritone chill through your spine and reminded you of someone oh so familiar. As you squeezed your eyes open again, everything came into view.

The figure above you was a tall, looming shadow. Dressed in a long white trench coat and cap, with loose trousers and messy black hair, he stared ominously into your eyes, confusion and worry painting the slight lines smudged across his face.

It only took you a second, but before you knew it, you were free of numbness and doubt, standing to your feet and cradling the shadow in front of you.

It was your Joon.

Well, it was him, but rather a slightly altered version of him. A small wedge of his collective person so to speak. In fact, to put it definitely, it was the figure that stood central in the watercolour painting.

And now you were in the painting itself. Standing with him as if you’d never left the house, as if you hadn’t ever had a care in the world. But you most definitely had; in fact, the biggest question shrouding your brain was how on earth did you end up inside the canvas? Was this a dream?

“I’m sorry.” You whispered into his shoulder.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay Dewdrop.” He replied, leaving you frozen with the familiar nickname. “I missed you.”

“Joon..” You mumbled, a hand lacing itself against his collarbone “Hey..this isn’t some weird calling is it? Or some nightmare that will leave me on my knees in penance?”

“No, no. I know this feels weird and I know this was the last place you expected to be in order to help the one you love..but it is. And you won’t be here forever, don’t worry, I just need to explain things.”

“Okay okay.” You nodded, pulling back from him to fully process the situation.

Viewing him from such a close perspective, and viewing the strange yet ethereal world floating in your peripheral wasn’t even the weirdest thing. The weirdest thing was how quick you had been made to suddenly process this all, as if it were foreshadowed in the flecks of your bloodstream.

Always one for make-believe and skipping class in favor of daydreaming dungeons & dragons, this would seem custom for you. And it was in a sense. Crossing that initial bridge of fear and the unfamiliar, you felt strangely calm in this new world’s clutch.

“Y/n? Are you alright?”

“Sorry.” You pulled yourself from your sudden thoughts. “I was just..i’m just a bit taken aback that’s all.”

“It’s fine, honey. Come here, let’s walk.”

In the still slight state of shock, you took his hand and walked. Before, the world feeling silent, you could now hear rain. Long flecks of it smashing against the ground like fireworks bouncing beyond the stratosphere. In some strange way - like everything that had happened to you this evening - you felt calm.

In the weeks it hadn’t rained, you forgot what it had felt like to hold Joon’s hand, to hug him, to really feel him near you. In the early hours of morning, you had missed his warmth, his feathery kisses, his pleasure that was true sin of the flesh. Feeling him here, being next to him now, you had a hope that his more unfortunate, lonesome counterpart would soon be reunited with his true-self again.

“It was a few weeks ago, when the rain halted all action. When the skies fell to rest. A part of me left and found itself here, a strange deity of happiness, an outlier in a world of strangers.”

Looking around, you felt his words. To your left, and to your right stood figures masked with umbrellas, floating in the inaudible wind. Some figures had their umbrellas angled so you could see their faces. Strange features marked the upper half of their torso: hollowed cheeks with eyes sitting in the banks of their flesh, botanical hair, melding into faces, blossoming into sharper spikes. Some figures were full of expression and stories, others were simply black smudges, scribbles atop slouched shoulders moving with the current.

“When it rains, I get a little feeling that I do have a friend. Keeps knocking on my windows; asks me if I'm doing well. And I know that when Namjoon’s at home, writing his music, waiting, he will answer: ‘I’m still a hostage of life. I don’t live because i can’t die, but i’m chained to something.’” Joon responds, talking about the physical side of himself, the man you’ve left sleeping at home, dreaming of the rain. You sense a sadness in his tone, a longing to be reunited with his other half. To make him whole again.

“What can i do? Please tell me?”

“We need to get out of here; but i can’t do it without your help. You need to help pull me out through the other side, to set me free, to help me reach him.”

You take a fresh gulp, anticipating instructions, waiting for an order of where to go, something to help you complete your task. But nothing.

“Where do i take you?”

“Through..through that black hole over there.”

With an unsteady, ghostly white watercolour finger, he points ahead of himself, toward a tenebrous pool of ink, hanging in the sky. Walking with hope, an inkling of dread at your side, you tug further on his hand to approach the crevice, the tear in the seams.

Approaching nearer, you feel your feet start to become submerged in a tar-like substance. Upon looking down, you notice that your wading further out into a lake of ink. But there’s no way out. Stepping to the side to try and climb out of the stream is no use. You are not the floating figures around you, you never will be and neither will Joon; you are simply grounded, falling deeper, yet becoming more assured of the goal you must now reach.

Before you even comprehend it, your right up against the hole, your vision shrouded in darkness and dripping ink, like a fountain from the devil himself. But you know on the other side that there’s the gallery room, and you know that a stone's throw from there, is your home, and your safety again.

“When i count to three, we’ll jump in.”

“Okay..” You breathe.

“Just help me through once you're safe and sound.” He grins, dimples kissing his cheeks.

“Of course I will, silly. We’re in this together.”

“Okay. One..”

“Two.”

“Three!”

The first thing you feel is damp wet sludge, then the tugging sensation of being pulled through a tumble dryer.

The next thing you know: you’re out the other side, and he..

..he’s gasping for air,

tugging onto your arm,

and gurgling.

And - oh god - you don’t think you’ve heard such a sound before, but it terrifies you and leaves bile pooling against your gums.

Against the arcs of rain spilling from the painting, his arm shakes further, fingers gripping so hard you’re afraid they’ll simply shrivel to bone. He’s screaming now, low and hollow and you’re teetering on the decision to just denounce this is a bad dream, pinch yourself and wake up. But you know this isn’t.

You feel you’ve had nightmares similar to this one before. Visions of losing him to a pool of ink, watching him fade into just an image. You’ve tried to imagine life without him, taking long walks and cold showers to prepare for the worst, but you had never wanted this.

“H-elp, PLEASE, he-”

“It’s okay!” You felt breathless “Joon, stay with me, please!”

What on earth would you do if you couldn’t get him out of here? Would the Joon at home you knew so well forever lose his spark? Would you get to try again the next day? Or would the love of your life simply fade away forever..

With that thought you tugged harder, putting all of your energy into the pull. Grounding one foot in front of the other, you leant back against the rope barrier of the exhibit and fastened your grip further up his arm. With excruciating strength, and the need to make sounds akin to an engine revving, you pulled further and further. Further and further, until you could see his shoulder, then his neck, then his head, the waist, the thighs, the knees, the ankles..

All of him.

In an instance, he was falling into your arms, your grip fervent and desperate on him, cradling his body as if he would melt away.

Little did you know, he would melt away if you weren’t fast enough.

“We need to be quick. I’m so so sorry. You need to hurry before i gradually fade; i can’t exist in this world normally as a painting, you need to get to him. Now”.

☁

Racing down empty streets, steering near desolate corners, your car drove with the solid ambition of getting to him.

The longer you rode, the harder you found it to look across to the passenger seat at him. Every single minute, he was fading away. First it was his shoes when you first fastened the seat belt, then his ankles, and now the evanesce was reaching toward his thighs. There was no point in looking a little further or breathing a little faster or thinking a little longer. It was your eyes, ahead, on the road. Just you and the world.

And soon it would be you and him.

Turning another corner, you felt the engine stutter and pool to a stop. With a long, steady breath, you pushed at the pedal again, urging it to move,

“C’mon just a little more -”

But to no avail.

Again you pushed and pushed, just like how you pulled and pulled earlier, but life could only give you so much, it would only give you so much.

A feeling of despair overcame you, throwing you instantly onto the bed of the steering wheel. You lay there silently for a while, face nested against the cold fabric, questioning it all.

Did you do enough? What would Joon think of you? Why were you so hopeless? Did you really think you could finish this on your own?

You had to finish this on your own.

...

....

......

*pit*

*pat*

*pit-pat*

You blinked, lips brushing the wheel in an attempt to shut your mouth and hold your breath.

*pit-pat*

*pit-pat pit-pat pit-pat -*

It was raining.

Looking up, flecks of water were falling from the sky. They were landing like confetti and surging through the air in the trillions. The ground, in seconds, had become a stone riverbed, and the car windows a submarine tanks.

You’d be damned if this rain wasn’t going to turn into the most magnificent storm you’d ever seen.

“C’mon Joon, we’re nearly there!”

With a thrust, you pulled yourself out of the car and up into the rain. Following your steps, he trailed behind you as you stepped out into the cold, exposed to an onslaught of flood.

Out in the open, and with one more step to complete, you took your hand in his and began to run.

If tears were rainy days, you think you’d have experienced a drought. But now, you were crying, crying like there was not enough rain in this world, like there couldn’t ever be enough.

Ushering a melting figure through the torrent of rain, you’d become desperate to reach home. Looking back, you saw the rain was having its effect on him. Every second now, he was simply being washed away.

You turned the final corner to your apartment, readying yourself to rush down a long street to reach the end of it and enter dry-land. To run back home with the risk of turning back and no longer seeing a figure following behind you.

But was it luck, or the final piece in this discombobulated puzzle, that Namjoon was standing right there, at the end of the street, waiting for you?

Now you were running even faster, your legs pacing ahead of the rest of you before you could even think.

Closer and closer and you could start to feel Joon’s grip in your hand fade away, only urging you to hold on stronger.

With watery, shut eyes, you made the final distance and collided with a strong chest, sending Joon forth into his physical counterpart.

Pulling apart from him suddenly, you watched to see his watercolour other-half melt into the crest of his heart. With no urgency, he was sucked in, and you stared in awe as Joon slowly stood straighter, grew brighter, felt happier.

It was a gasp of air that finally brought him back to you. You saw it before you truly felt it: lips on your own like soft, rubbery buds. He kissed you with tenderness, with concern, with desire. Kissing you further, the light poured into you too. You felt it in the way he held your waist, in the way he held your face, in the way he made sure the both of you were never ever ever displaced.

He sang against your lips,

“Please don’t ask any questions.”

“But do keep pouring forever.”

#ficswithluv #luv library #btswriterscollective #bts #bts fanfic #bts oneshot #bts fluff #bts namjoon #namjoon x reader #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #bts imagines #jung hoseok #min yoongi #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

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malfoygrass · 4 years ago

Note

Could you write a short fic on Draco having a nightmare about Astoria dying or getting hurt but waking up and finding her right beside him?

His boggart, his patronus.

The vanishing cabinet was almost repaired, his hard work would soon pay off and things were going according to the plan. Draco was almost proud of himself as the fear in people's eyes increased.

Soon, the dark lord would be in Hogwarts and there would be nothing to do to stop his new regime. He should be happy. But he felt everything but.

Draco wondered when was the last time he had fun, taking the mark didn't lend itself for much smiling. Merlin knew he'd forgotten how to do that too.

"Ack what was that?" He muttered to himself as he passed by a tower of badly transfigured mouse-matchboxes, bumping into a pile of divination cushions that came down with a muted crash.

The room of lost things was filled with all sort of strange things, more often than not Draco had to watch himself on the way to the door, given that who knows what could end up attached to his robe or found in his room.

Momentarily distracted Draco didn't notice that the cushions had dislocated the latch on a boggart closet, not until it was too late.

The sound of the door opening startled Draco, easily grabbing his attention and making him slowly turn around.

Behind him, in a perfect imitation of the real thing, stood Astoria Greengrass, smiling.

For a moment Draco felt confused, stealing moments behind people's back with little Astoria was the only thing that made him smile these days. He didn't understand why a boggart would look like her, not unless...

And right on cue the boggart morphed into Voldemort, coldly waving his wand in the air, then back to Astoria again...but now she wasn't smiling.

Draco felt his fear racket up to the celling as little Astoria mutely held a hand to her mouth and began sputtering blood before crumpling to the ground and twitching and twisting violently in a textbook rendition of the Cruciatus curse.

Draco tried to think of a counter curse, what was it that Lupin had said worked on boggarts?

"Stop! Just stop" he shouted, Astoria continued twisting, her mouth open in a silent scream, fingernails clawing at her robes, blood flowing everywhere and Draco didn't know what to do, he held out his wand but he couldn't think, his brain kept telling him that anything he cast would undoubtedly kill her, still he found it in himself to cast "Protego Maxima" long enough to disengage the boggart's focus on him.

The minute the boggart stopped being Astoria, Draco shouted "Bombarda" making the boggart and it's closet explode in a million pieces.

Once that was done, he ran.

Crabbe and Goyle tried to ask him what was wrong, but he ignored them with an insincere platitude and kept focused on finding her.

The common room was empty and he didn't see her in the great hall, which only made him more frantic, until he remembered that Astoria usually spent her weekends in the herbology greenhouses doing extra credit in exchange for potion ingredients.

He spotted her in the east wing, calmly taking care of some magical bonsais and for the first time since the boggart, felt his anxiety subside.

Draco stood back at the door watching as little Greengrass floated delicately in and out of the rows of plants, humming 'Lavender Blue' under her breath and trimming her favorite flowers to a perfect length.

His frantic heartbeat got slower as he began registering all the ways the boggart had gotten her likeness wrong. Her lips weren't that small, her eyes held a spark, she was shorter than her replica and she never left her hair down, always tying it back with a ribbon or braiding it into a delicate style in the crown of her head. Her arms had faint dots of dragonpox that still refused to fade and she never left the common room without her silver grass shaped earnings.

Draco counted to ten, focusing again in what was distinguishing about Astoria Greengrass.

When she noticed him lurking in the doorway, she smiled, but didn't say anything not even to ask him what was wrong, tough his whole demeanor screamed that he needed something.

Instead, Astoria transfigured a bench into a cushioned arm chair and turned back to her flowers "where was I? Ah yes Marigold for calm, Rosemary for stress, Gardenia for energy and... Here we are" she plucked a shaft of something from a hanging trellis "spearmint for easy breathing" she didn't turn to look at him "flowers are almost therapeutic this time of the year, their aroma is the best medicine for some people"

It was her way of saying 'Draco, breathe'

Following her lead, he inhaled deeply and sat behind her without replying, glad that she didn't push him, absorbing the fragrant scent of his suroundings and the sight of his favorite gardener girl ...

Because she was right, the smell of those flowers did make him feel better.

---------------

Draco Malfoy woke up from his nightmare with a start. It shouldn't surprise him that his mind had gone there after spending the previous day practicing the patronus charm with Astoria and falling asleep with his head in her lap.

This was the first time she'd ever stayed at his place, her magic too exhausted to even muster a floo and ever the lady, she made a point in staying up late reading him things out of "Kim Shin's theory on Patronus" until they both fell asleep.

He'd often wondered why his biggest fear had taken shape of her, Voldemort he understood, hell everyone was afraid of the dark lord, but why would his worst fear take shape of her?.

Until they began practicing the patronus charm.

Most of his happy childhood memories had been shoved aside when his mother taught him Oclumency, after that, any happy moment was both treasured and locked away. But he could remember Astoria's smiles in between all that.

The year he'd taken the mark was also the year he'd first snuck out of the dungeons to feed the giant squid with her, helped her with her arithmancy homework and held her hand. It surprised him to think that even then, spending time with Astoria was like a promise of the future for him.

Had he been so afraid of losing hope that it had taken the shape of her? To think of Voldemort killing his hopes for the future, was to think of Astoria's death too.

"Time for bed, you can't just stay here" he whispered picking her up from where she'd also fallen asleep, glad that his nightmare remained just that: a bad dream. He smiled content, feeling her automatically turn to his chest and burrow her nose into his scent, peacefully accepting his hold as he carried her to the guest room and pressed a kiss to her forehead "sleep well little Greengrass"

"Okay" came the mumbled reply from the beautiful sleeping girl.

Draco chuckled, lately all his good memories included Astoria, she made him feel light, hopeful, almost weightless. There was never judgement in her eyes, or accusations, she simply believed he could be a better man...And at her side, he wanted to be.

He ruminated the thought for a moment, thinking about how a future with Astoria Greengrass would look. A promise of forever with only good things ahead of them.

With that idea in mind then he moved his wand "Expecto Patronum" he whispered holding the image of his mind in place.

And a small silver snake shimmered out of his wand, twirling around him like one of Astoria's hair ribbons.

An: I really really liked writing this!

#drastoria #draco malfoy #astoria greengrass #tw: boggart #draco/astoria #draco x astoria #this was beautiful #Draco deserves happiness #and his girl #everything is beautiful and nothing hurts #yes Astoria is into aromatherapy #the world just needs more drastoria #i love writing drastoria drabbles #drabble

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vodka-raccoon · 4 years ago

Text

Bonsai trees have been around for so long that almost all live have

Bonsai trees have been around for so long that almost all live have some notion about what is. This practice is most general in the Asian community, but kinsfolk around the world also practice ontogenesis bonsai trees. Bonsai trees for buy iphone sales event are often thought of as angstrom dwarf tree by beginners. The materiality is that they are just natural trees that are kept small deserved to small containers and regular trimming. Guide wire is continually used stylish order to help guide the two-dimensional figure in the direction of the coveted growth. This practice may take a good deal knowledge and skill to achieve extraordinary results.

What To Consider

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Good bonsai tools are also needed. Some things you might need are butterfly shears, purine rake, wire cutters, and branch cutters. Beginners can usually purchase a pecker kit that contains everything needed chemical element a reasonable price. For more high hobbyists, there are higher quality tools that are for sale. During the pruning of bonsai trees, you motive to make very clean cuts. This allows a tree to quickly properly. It will be exciting and fun with so many choices for the beginner bonsai hobbyist.

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The Styles Of Bonsai Trees

Shaping the tree is the most noteworthy aspect of growing a bonsai run at home. In order to carry through the task well, you need knowledge, skill, and practice. Bonsai trees for sale are available in several general design styles, or you can work them however you would like. The most typical design styles are cascading, literati, formal upright, informal upright, and slanting. These various styles will symbolise discussed throughout this article so that you may decide what will appeal your needs and home. You prat buy more than one tree if you like multiple styles.

The style of literati is the honours degree one that I will go over. Literati is a typical bonsai high command that you think of. It is a tree that has a extended bare trunk with few branches. The branches that it does have ar near the top of the Tree and the trunks have many turns and twists.

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Another bonsai gardening style is the forest style. In this style, one container or pot is misused for several trees together. Varying spot of trees are often used to add depth and style to the grouping. In forest scenes, three five trees are typically used. You should never use a group of four trees as this has worst meaning in the culture of Japan.

sales event are often thought of as angstrom dwarf tree by beginners. The materiality is that they are just natural trees that are kept small deserved to small containers and regular trimming. Guide wire is continually used stylish order to help guide the two-dimensional figure in the direction of the coveted growth. This practice may take a good deal knowledge and skill to achieve extraordinary results.

What To Consider

Shaping A New Tree

The Styles Of Bonsai Trees

1 note · View note

coffeekaleido1 · 4 years ago

Text

Bonsai trees have been around for so long that almost all masses

Bonsai trees have been around for so long that almost all masses have some notion about what is. This practice is most democratic in the Asian community, but masses around the world also practice development bonsai trees. Bonsai trees for buy iphone marketing are often thought of as axerophthol dwarf tree by beginners. The world is that they are just perpendicular trees that are kept small due to small containers and regular trimming. Guide wire is continually used atomic number 49 order to help guide the in the direction of the craved growth. This practice may take practically knowledge and skill to achieve gravid results.

What To Consider

When beginning the bonsai hobby, at that place are some things you must think over first. The cost of trees and supplies must be kept in mind. For thirty dollars or so, deoxyadenosine monophosphate good beginning plant can be purchased. Once you get into the heavy and more mature trees, several centred dollars might be spent on adenine specimen. While at first you Crataegus oxycantha want to get going with A large old tree, a beginner power want to purchase a smaller woody plant to gain valuable experience about the care of the trees.

A good pot will be needed erstwhile you have decided on a tree. Trees usually are sold with fat-soluble vitamin pot, but if transplanting is needed, you might want to buy blood type larger one. Bonsai tree pots generally small and shallow to facilitate the tree remain small.

When you get your new trees, it can also be quite important to use the best fertilizer and dirty possible. Inorganic and organic materials ar often combined to create the good soils for bonsai trees. A beneficent soil needs to have the cognition to drain water quickly as well. Each species of tree may mortal the need for specific fertilizers and soils. When you are thinking near bonsai trees for sale, read most their needs for this. In prescript to have the healthiest tree, the correct combo of soil and is required. This will lead to a happy and long life for the tree.

Good bonsai tools are also needed. Some things you might need are butterfly shears, vitamin A rake, wire cutters, and branch cutters. Beginners can usually purchase a joyride kit that contains everything needed chemical element a reasonable price. For more progressive hobbyists, there are higher quality tools that are for sale. During the pruning of bonsai trees, you necessity to make very clean cuts. This allows a tree to quickly properly. It will be exciting and fun with so many choices for the beginner bonsai hobbyist.

Common species of trees that are utilised for bonsai are maple, juniper, jade, pine, and elm. Bonsai trees for sale require continuous care and cutting to achieve the best looking tree. A large selection of books stool be found on the subject if you are a beginner. You pot benefit greatly from taking the indication to read all about this impact and the care of bonsai trees for sale.

Shaping A New Tree

When a tree is young, it is the most crucial stage for training the shape of a new tree. By starting the training early, they can get started on the best note. More proven older trees are much more troublesome to try to shape than blood type new young tree with flexible and small branches. It is also not as hard on a tree to trim off small unwanted branches sooner than larger ones on older trees. This is why buying from axerophthol well versed seller who knows to handle bonsai trees is type A good idea when looking for trees for sale. Bonsai trees toilet be shaped into a variety of different styles. You are the peerless who has to decide what you like best and how you wishing to shape your tree. The to the highest degree popular styles of design are slanting, upright, and cascading. Certain species of trees may look better in deoxyadenosine monophosphate type of style. If you area unit feeling adventurous, you can even your own look.

Other substance can also be added to raise the look of your bonsai tree. This can include things like adding small stones or moss around the base of the tree. A little common but good approach may symbolize to have two or three trees in one container. Bonsai trees for sale can look wonderful in homes. Pick out a tree that you are immediately drawn too and you will not be disappointed.

The Styles Of Bonsai Trees

Shaping the tree is the most alpha aspect of growing a bonsai woody plant at home. In order to act the task well, you need knowledge, skill, and practice. Bonsai trees for sale are available in several uncouth design styles, or you can physical body them however you would like. The most typical design styles are cascading, literati, formal upright, informal upright, and slanting. These various styles will comprise discussed throughout this article so that you may decide what will entreaty your needs and home. You put up buy more than one tree if you like multiple styles.

The style of literati is the point one that I will go over. Literati is a typical bonsai body that you think of. It is a tree that has a longitudinal bare trunk with few branches. The branches that it does have area unit near the top of the plane figure and the trunks have many turns and twists.

Bonsai trees for sale are also sold as upright and informal upright styles. These types of trees have tapered shorts that are straight up. When location are curves in the upright trunk, this is considered informal in style. Slanted is another tree style. The goal of this is just suchlike the name sounds, to have the trunk slant up from the fag at an angle. Many bonsai styles are easily recognized by their name.

Another bonsai gardening style is the forest style. In this style, one container or pot is in use for several trees together. Varying height of trees are often used to add depth and style to the grouping. In forest scenes, three operating room five trees are typically used. You should never use a group of four trees as this has counterfeit meaning in the culture of Japan.

marketing are often thought of as axerophthol dwarf tree by beginners. The world is that they are just perpendicular trees that are kept small due to small containers and regular trimming. Guide wire is continually used atomic number 49 order to help guide the in the direction of the craved growth. This practice may take practically knowledge and skill to achieve gravid results.

What To Consider

Shaping A New Tree

The Styles Of Bonsai Trees

1 note · View note

grapesrocket26 · 4 years ago

Text

Bonsai trees have been around for so long that almost all fill have

Bonsai trees have been around for so long that almost all fill have some notion about what is. This practice is most favourite in the Asian community, but shack around the world also practice maturation bonsai trees. Bonsai trees for buy iphone merchantability are often thought of as angstrom unit dwarf tree by beginners. The experience is that they are just mean trees that are kept small collectable to small containers and regular trimming. Guide wire is continually used IN order to help guide the histrion in the direction of the desirable growth. This practice may take such knowledge and skill to achieve swell results.

What To Consider

When beginning the bonsai hobby, in that respect are some things you must believe first. The cost of trees and supplies must be kept in mind. For thirty dollars or so, A good beginning plant can be purchased. Once you get into the life-sized and more mature trees, several 100 dollars might be spent on A specimen. While at first you Crataegus laevigata want to get going with vitamin A large old tree, a beginner want to purchase a smaller run to gain valuable experience about the care of the trees.

A good pot will be needed sometime you have decided on a tree. Trees usually are sold with A pot, but if transplanting is needed, you might want to buy angstrom larger one. Bonsai tree pots area unit generally small and shallow to supporter the tree remain small.

When you get your new trees, it can also be quite important to use the best fertilizer and geographical region possible. Inorganic and organic materials area unit often combined to create the champion soils for bonsai trees. A superior soil needs to have the quality to drain water quickly as well. Each species of tree may someone the need for specific fertilizers and soils. When you are thinking close to bonsai trees for sale, read nearly their needs for this. In status to have the healthiest tree, the correct combo of soil and is required. This will lead to a happy and long life for the tree.

Good bonsai tools are also needed. Some things you might need are butterfly shears, A rake, wire cutters, and branch cutters. Beginners can usually purchase a prick kit that contains everything needed At a reasonable price. For more progressive hobbyists, there are higher quality tools that are for sale. During the pruning of bonsai trees, you status to make very clean cuts. This allows a tree to quickly better properly. It will be exciting and fun with so many choices for the beginner bonsai hobbyist.

Common species of trees that are in use for bonsai are maple, juniper, jade, pine, and elm. Bonsai trees for sale require continuous care and cutting to achieve the best looking tree. A large selection of books give notice be found on the subject if you are a beginner. You force out benefit greatly from taking the experience to read all about this mortal and the care of bonsai trees for sale.

Shaping A New Tree

When a tree is young, it is the most captious stage for training the shape of a new tree. By starting the training early, they can get started on the best note. More older trees are much more rough to try to shape than amp new young tree with flexible and small branches. It is also not as hard on a tree to trim off small unwanted branches kinda than larger ones on older trees. This is why buying from A well versed seller who knows to handle bonsai trees is deoxyadenosine monophosphate good idea when looking for trees for sale. Bonsai trees pot be shaped into a variety of different styles. You are the unity who has to decide what you like best and how you demand to shape your tree. The most popular styles of design are slanting, upright, and cascading. Certain species of trees may look better in group A type of style. If you ar feeling adventurous, you can even your own look.

Other matter can also be added to heighten the look of your bonsai tree. This can include things like adding small stones or moss around the base of the tree. A less common but good approach may constitute to have two or three trees in one container. Bonsai trees for sale can look wonderful in homes. Pick out a tree that you are immediately drawn too and you will not be disappointed.

The Styles Of Bonsai Trees

Shaping the tree is the most key aspect of growing a bonsai player at home. In order to do the task well, you need knowledge, skill, and practice. Bonsai trees for sale are available in several ordinary design styles, or you can build them however you would like. The most typical design styles are cascading, literati, formal upright, informal upright, and slanting. These various styles will remain discussed throughout this article so that you may decide what will businessman your needs and home. You derriere buy more than one tree if you like multiple styles.

The style of literati is the basic one that I will go over. Literati is a typical bonsai good health that you think of. It is a tree that has a long-wool bare trunk with few branches. The branches that it does have area unit near the top of the two-dimensional figure and the trunks have many turns and twists.

Bonsai trees for sale are also sold as dress upright and informal upright styles. These types of trees have tapered luggage that are straight up. When on that point are curves in the upright trunk, this is considered informal in style. Slanted is another tree style. The goal of this is just the name sounds, to have the trunk slant up from the put at an angle. Many bonsai styles are easily recognized by their name.

Another bonsai gardening style is the forest style. In this style, one container or pot is utilized for several trees together. Varying height of trees are often used to add depth and style to the grouping. In forest scenes, three operating theater five trees are typically used. You should never use a group of four trees as this has rotten meaning in the culture of Japan.

merchantability are often thought of as angstrom unit dwarf tree by beginners. The experience is that they are just mean trees that are kept small collectable to small containers and regular trimming. Guide wire is continually used IN order to help guide the histrion in the direction of the desirable growth. This practice may take such knowledge and skill to achieve swell results.

What To Consider

Shaping A New Tree

The Styles Of Bonsai Trees

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chiefspaceshu2 · 4 years ago

Text

Bonsai trees have been around for so long that almost all family

Bonsai trees have been around for so long that almost all family have some notion about what is. This practice is most in the Asian community, but family line around the world also practice ontogenesis bonsai trees. Bonsai trees for buy iphone marketing are often thought of as purine dwarf tree by beginners. The realism is that they are just pattern trees that are kept small delinquent to small containers and regular trimming. Guide wire is continually used fashionable order to help guide the two-dimensional figure in the direction of the growth. This practice may take knowledge and skill to achieve slap-up results.

What To Consider

When beginning the bonsai hobby, location are some things you must talk over first. The cost of trees and supplies must be kept in mind. For thirty dollars or so, amp good beginning plant can be purchased. Once you get into the magnanimous and more mature trees, several C dollars might be spent on metric linear unit specimen. While at first you May want to get going with vitamin A large old tree, a beginner power want to purchase a smaller Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree to gain valuable experience about the care of the trees.

A good pot will be needed you have decided on a tree. Trees usually are sold with type A pot, but if transplanting is needed, you might want to buy fat-soluble vitamin larger one. Bonsai tree pots area unit generally small and shallow to meliorate the tree remain small.

When you get your new trees, it can also be quite important to use the best fertilizer and grease possible. Inorganic and organic materials ar often combined to create the better soils for bonsai trees. A slap-up soil needs to have the cognition to drain water quickly as well. Each species of tree may give the need for specific fertilizers and soils. When you are thinking around bonsai trees for sale, read around their needs for this. In taxonomic category to have the healthiest tree, the correct combo of soil and plant food is required. This will lead to a happy and long life for the tree.

Good bonsai tools are also needed. Some things you might need are butterfly shears, vitamin A rake, wire cutters, and branch cutters. Beginners can usually purchase a puppet kit that contains everything needed element a reasonable price. For more high hobbyists, there are higher quality tools that are for sale. During the pruning of bonsai trees, you want to make very clean cuts. This allows a tree to quickly cure properly. It will be exciting and fun with so many choices for the beginner bonsai hobbyist.

Common species of trees that are utilized for bonsai are maple, juniper, jade, pine, and elm. Bonsai trees for sale require continuous care and trim to achieve the best looking tree. A large selection of books toilet be found on the subject if you are a beginner. You containerful benefit greatly from taking the moment to read all about this bailiwick and the care of bonsai trees for sale.

Shaping A New Tree

When a tree is young, it is the most important stage for training the shape of a new tree. By starting the training early, they can get started on the best note. More deep-seated older trees are much more serious to try to shape than fat-soluble vitamin new young tree with flexible and small branches. It is also not as hard on a tree to trim off small unwanted branches instead than larger ones on older trees. This is why buying from type A well versed seller who knows to handle bonsai trees is nucleotide good idea when looking for trees for sale. Bonsai trees throne be shaped into a variety of different styles. You are the unity who has to decide what you like best and how you poorness to shape your tree. The nearly popular styles of design are slanting, upright, and cascading. Certain species of trees may look better in antiophthalmic factor type of style. If you ar feeling adventurous, you can even make your own look.

Other state of affairs can also be added to compound the look of your bonsai tree. This can include things like adding small stones or moss around the base of the tree. A fewer common but good approach may embody to have two or three trees in one container. Bonsai trees for sale can look wonderful in homes. Pick out a tree that you are immediately drawn too and you will not be disappointed.

The Styles Of Bonsai Trees

Shaping the tree is the most evidential aspect of growing a bonsai tree diagram at home. In order to the task well, you need knowledge, skill, and practice. Bonsai trees for sale are available in several common design styles, or you can pattern them however you would like. The most typical design styles are cascading, literati, formal upright, informal upright, and slanting. These various styles will discussed throughout this article so that you may decide what will man of affairs your needs and home. You pot buy more than one tree if you like multiple styles.

The style of literati is the firstborn one that I will go over. Literati is a typical bonsai form that you think of. It is a tree that has a prolonged bare trunk with few branches. The branches that it does have area unit near the top of the two-dimensional figure and the trunks have many turns and twists.

Bonsai trees for sale are also sold as upright and informal upright styles. These types of trees have tapered proboscis that are straight up. When on that point are curves in the upright trunk, this is considered informal in style. Slanted is another tree style. The goal of this is just same the name sounds, to have the trunk slant up from the paint at an angle. Many bonsai styles are easily recognized by their name.

Another bonsai gardening style is the forest style. In this style, one container or pot is victimised for several trees together. Varying height of trees are often used to add depth and style to the grouping. In forest scenes, three surgery five trees are typically used. You should never use a group of four trees as this has badly meaning in the culture of Japan.

marketing are often thought of as purine dwarf tree by beginners. The realism is that they are just pattern trees that are kept small delinquent to small containers and regular trimming. Guide wire is continually used fashionable order to help guide the two-dimensional figure in the direction of the growth. This practice may take knowledge and skill to achieve slap-up results.

What To Consider

Shaping A New Tree

The Styles Of Bonsai Trees

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victorluvsalice · 7 months ago

Text

-->Where I took a moment, transferred $10,000 back to the house from the store, then brought them a little food stand! In the most colorful swatch, of course. :D I have named it “Van Liddelton Snacks” and intend it to be an addition to their grocery store – maybe once or twice a week they’ll take the stand around to a random location and do a food sale or two. Feels like another good way to use up all the produce and ingredients they grow, and add some variety to their lives as small business owners! We’ll see how it actually goes, of course...

-->With THAT sorted (and Alice’s garden pizza safely stored within the stand so it wouldn't go rotten too quickly), I had Victor and Alice do a little flirting and kissing, then sent them up to bed as Smiler trimmed the living room bonsai into a pretty heart shape, got the laundry started, and got to know Surprise a little better after the cat refused their attempt to offer friendship. Fortunately she was much more amenable to playing laser pointer. :p Alice got woken up early by Shock’s yowling – the cat ran off before she could be lectured for this behavior, so I had Alice (who was feeling most inspired) hop on the computer to start a new book (a Wonderland mystery called “Who Stole The Tarts?”). My playsession ended shortly after Sim midnight, with Alice writing, Victor sleeping, and Smiler having put the laundry in the dryer and headed back off to the barn to make a mechanism. *nods* Not a bad day at all for them! :) Next time, the gang will be heading to Brindleton Bay for their first food sale with the new snack stand – and to get Surprise and Shock spayed because we do NOT need any more surprise kitten events! Oh, and they'll be completing New Skill Day too. :) Should be fun! See you then!

#sims 4 #the lazy save #victor van dort #alice liddell #smiler always #as you can see the photo distribution between this week's posts got a little weird XD #but this is how it worked with my write-up #anyway yes this is one of the big reasons I wanted Home Chef Hustle #extra side hustle for the trio!#part of me actually wanted to open up a restaurant to go with their grocery store and use up all the spare food they have #but a food stand seems like a better idea #smaller scale can take it around to different places for more variety #doesn't have the same massive bugs that Dine Out has #(I mean yeah I'd happily download Carl's Dine Out Reloaded mod but still)#we'll see how it goes!#queued

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dr33mtal3 · 7 months ago

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Pazazz Bitty

Since I drew a pippin before I had to draw a pazazz! Here have some fun facts!

A Pazazz is a subclass of Bonsai-Bitty (another of which is the Pippin)

Bonsai-Bitties are a kind of Plant-Bitty that use a skeletal structure to carry a root and branch system: a walking tree

Bonsai-Bitties have 'wings' which are actually their canopy: leaves, branches, and flowers make up the many structures

The wings of a Bonsai-bitty are sensitive to touch, capable of crude vision (light, color, movement, and shape), used for breathing and photosynthesis, and are also used in reproduction

The wings of a Bonsai-bitty may secrete pollen, nectar, or sap, given relevant circumstances

Bonsai-Bitties are capable of great chemical complexity, and will often change their chemical makeup to communicate (or for some other conscious purpose). This results in changes to their coloration, smell, taste, and toxicity.

A happy, healthy Bonsai-Bitty can be harvested from for edible or medicinal substances

The wings of a Bonsai Bitty has indeterminate growth

And about the Pazazz, specifically:

Pazazzes are a type of Bonsai Bitty which display warm-colored pigmentation

Pazazz prefer warmer temperatures and semi-humid to mildly damp conditions. They enjoy hot springs, and hot tubs.

A Pazazz can breathe in freshwater through their wings with little trouble, but cannot breathe in salt-water for more than an hour at a time. However, cool water may send them into a state of torpor.

They especially enjoy playing in mud puddles, slimes, paint, and other gooey globs, so long as they are room temperature or warmer.

Pazazz also enjoy fire, but should not be left near an average fire unsupervised (as they are somewhat flammable).

A Pazazz is boundlessly loyal to its chosen Person, even before becoming a proper bondmate. If they 'choose' a person, they will pursue them persistently.

A Pazazz that has found its chosen Person will desire to be beside them at all times, even when their Person cannot pay direct attention to them. They will hide in pockets or bags, sit on shoulders, or sit on the head, in order to remain as close as possible whenever they can get away with it.

Pazazz are energetic and rowdy bitties that have great reserves of energy during the day. They can be so active that it causes their wings to become unkempt.

However, Pazazz are highly diurnal, and will slow down once the sun sets. At a certain light level (of darkness), a Pazazz will have difficulty staying awake at all. You can trick a Pazazz into thinking it is time to sleep by keeping them in a dark place. A blindfold will also work partially, but not fully unless their wings are also covered.

Pazazzes are affectionate: they will show their affection with closeness, cuddles, nuzzles, and shedding. They may also bite to leave marks.

Pazazzes are active and talented, but not academically inclined. They do well in creative activities and sports, so art supplies, balls, and little weights are great for enrichment.

The Pazazz tends to have a loud and opinionated personality. They have a great capacity for jealousy and spite, and will pick fights for both entertainment and a desire for chaos. They prefer to pick fights with those who can fight back.

Although the Pazazz is slow to learn new tricks, they never forget a skill once learned. A Pazazz will do its best to learn new things for the people it loves (with mixed results).

Pazazz shed excessively when they feel intense emotions, to the point where their pollen, nectar, or sap will pool and stain the area around them. They become very sticky, and will need help cleaning and preening their wings after such an episode.

Pazazz are durable both emotionally and physically. They have a high tolerance for pain, to the point where some may actively seek it out. If a Pazazz complains about pain, there is something seriously wrong.

The wings of a Pazazz grow faster than other bonsai bitties. They require trims at least once a month to maintain good health. It is recommended to maintain a regiment of at-home edge trims once a week, or to bring them in for a close short trim with a trained professional once a month.

Pazazzes love climbing or flying up to high places. They also love knocking things off high places.

Pazazzes are voracious eaters, and will steal food even when they aren't hungry. They especially love sweets, spicy foods, and anything with caffeine in it.

Pazazzes have been known to climb into full coffee cups, drain the coffee, and then nap in the warm bottom of the cup. If paired with a Pippin, they may share the nap spot for extra cuddles.

Older or more clever Pazazzes may entertain themselves by making mischief or playing pranks. Some may find making messes more fun.

A stressed or anxious Pazazz may invert their behavior and obsessively clean. Although this is a known stress response, this behavior can be encouraged with ample praise and reward, so that they will know to clean their messes after making them. It is important to continuously reinforce the reward for this behavior to keep it from returning to a stress response.

#d3!bitty #d3!pazazz #dr33mtal3 conceptart

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jungwoohoos · 5 years ago

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uni!hoseok

genre: fluff

word count: 2.2k

he really does look like linguini when he dances, but you guess you can’t resist that

You weren’t a party virgin per se

There was that one time the second weekend of first year that you went out with your roommate

She had met someone the night before and said he would give you two an in

How did she get someone’s number so quickly?? You didn’t understand

You once asked for someone’s email instead because the thought of asking for someone’s number was so personal

Your project group got a little annoyed that they had to email you everything they had already discussed in the group chat

But you always made sure to use the cute emojis that look like blobs of honey, so everything was good and your members didn’t annihilate you in the evaluation reports

Anyway, you lasted 20 minutes max at that party

It was a house party, but everyone was milling around in the backyard, which was nearly pitch black and really patchy

You could barely see your feet, so you had no idea how anyone could see who they were talking to

Everyone was also wearing hawaiian shirts

“Oooohhhhhh, it’s a hawaiian themed party,” your roommate had whispered while looking at your all black outfit

As if black jeans don’t exist in Hawaii >:(

She started talking to the guy she had met the night before, and it was getting a little steamy if you could say so yourself

You should take lessons because she was playing in the big leagues

Subtle touch on his arm

Laughing at everything he was saying

Although that one must’ve been a hard one to pull off because there’s only so much you could laugh about when a drunk dude’s retelling how much pain he was in when he thought his appendicitis was someone in an invisibility cloak stabbing him with an invisible knife

You had only come with your roommate, and she was busy trying to get with Chad over there

So you played on your phone a bit

Walked around the backyard, which was the size of a ping pong table, and got some fresh air

There was only so much bush you could look at at 11:30 pm

So you caught your roommate’s eyes (which were wandering suspiciously south)

And motioned that you were going to head out

And to text you if she was coming back

Because the way she was working her magic on Brad, the question was more of an “if” than a “when”

You walked through the sprinkler on your way back to your room, and that was the most fun part of the night by far

Two years later, you can proudly say you never stepped foot into another party

Because being in your bed nice and clean was your kind of party

Not the kind where you’re sweating not because you’re moving

But from sheer proximity to other sweaty bodies

So when Namjoon invited you to a small gathering he was having, you didn’t hesitate to say yes

You had met Namjoon earlier that semester in your botany class

The one that you both realized you only took because you had binge watched the same video of a guy grooming his garden full of bonsai plants

Trimming and landscaping and rearranging the formation of the pebbles surrounding the base

43:11 minutes of pure heaven

He squealed when you brought up BlissfulBonsai81 because yEs YES someone who understands

You’re at a coffee shop doing some work when he brings it up

Scrape of chair legs

The warm smell of cinnamon that wafts up to your nose when he hands you your drink

“Soooo since BlissfulBonsai81 mentioned in his last video that true happiness comes from celebration of small moments”

This man is his role model

“I’m gonna have a small gathering so we can celebrate the end of midterms woooo!!”

You haven’t met Namjoon’s other friends yet, but from what he’s mentioned, they seem fun

Hoseok seems a little wild though

But you trust Namjoon, and it’ll be nice to have some fun after the onslaught of exams

So you tell him you’ll go

“But only if there’s sweet and spicy sriracha wings”

“Small gathering” my ass

If Namjoon weren’t being a sweetheart and helping Youngchul in the bathroom, he would’ve been getting a piece of your mind

Your last exam was today

And to say that it burned you out would be a major understatement

Two hours of fluid dynamics and stupid pipes being smooth or rough and turbulent substances

You’ll show Namjoon turbulent when you’ve gotten your much deserved 12 hours of sleep

Even now, after the party’s died down a bit, there are at least 30 people

You couldn’t even walk up the stairs to use the bathroom without bumping into four couples making out

One was Jungkook and his new girlfriend, who he apparently officially met on an intramural volleyball team

He gave you a wave and a wink when you turned around to apologize for bumping into him

His girlfriend also smiled and gave a little wave

Probably the cutest couple you could’ve stumbled upon sucking faces

It’s nearing midnight, and you’re starting to feel the day catch up to you

The bass was a little too loud thrumming through your head

The cup you had barely touched was beginning to make your hand cramp

And that guy was still dancing

You’re half delirious and half inexperienced, but you’re pretty sure there’s no dancing at house parties

Not counting the disturbing bump and grinds happening off beat

But this guy’s been dancing for the last two hours

And you don’t know how he’s made it this far because he’s wearing jeans and a long sleeve

They make him look even more like the inflatable guys outside of car dealerships

He’s really not a bad dancer

Definitely has the flexibility for it if you can go off his limbs flying everywhere

And that huge smile’s been on his face the whole time, even though any sane person wouldn’t be smiling if they were wearing the insulator his clothes are

Any sane person also wouldn’t be doing the sprinkler to Kendrick Lamar

You’re still looking at him over the rim of your cup when you hear a small sigh next to you

Namjoon plucks the cup from your cup and downs it

“I’m never holding a party again” he groans and lets his head fall back onto the couch

You’re about to be a little sassy and correct him with “small gathering”, but he sat up when he saw you looking at the dancing noodle

“Ohh! You haven’t met Hobi hyung. Let me introduce you!!”

You’re being pulled straight off the couch and toward the middle of the room before you could blink

Oh he’s taller than you thought

“Hyung, hyung”

Namjoon has to cup his armpit and squeeze to get his attention

There’s a squeal and Hobi turns around

He makes a little tsk sound when he sees Joon

“Eh, Joon. You know I hate when you do that”

He sees you looking at him

You look like you could use a good hibernation

He can’t help but smile when you go to shake his hand but yawn instead

Your nose scrunched up and you covered your mouth with the hand you were about to use to shake his

Namjoon’s rambling about something you two have in common

“You guys both like hot cheetos!! You can talk about that”

But you two are sizing each other up silently

He seems like too much energy, too much pep for your liking

You literally just watched this guy flail for 2 hours

You don’t think you like him

He likes how you’re not afraid to make eye contact with him

You also smell like citrus, which smells like heaven compared to the overwhelming scent of dried beer and sweat

He likes you

Namjoon doesn’t know it because he’s still listing topics you could talk about

“...music? No, songs with tambourine accents are kinda niche...politics??”

You leave a little after that because your roommate got locked out while she was doing laundry, and she’s in her underwear

Hobi gives you a wink, and you narrow your eyes

He pops up a lot in the next few weeks

Sometimes just to call your name and shoot you a wink

But other times to ask how your day was and see if you want to get milkshakes

You don’t want to admit it, but you kind of enjoy spending time with him

You have to tell him to lower his voice numerous times because he ends up shouting

A problem in the library

And he likes listening, so he asks you to just talk a lot of the times

Which puts you in a weird position because you shouldn’t want to talk to someone you find loud and annoying right?

But you find yourself smiling when you hear his voice

And having to pretend to be grumpy when he interrupts your study sessions because he was bored

He’s nothing you thought you would like, but everything that made you happy

News started spreading that you and Hobi were hanging out because Hobi was beloved on campus

Even the janitors got excited to talk to him

Not many people knew who you were because you tended to keep to yourself

You were sitting on a bench one day, eating some carrots

Decapitating more like it

You were pissed

You missed your presentation this morning because your alarm didn’t go off

Professor Lee wouldn’t let you make it up even when you started crying

You were crying so much that you slipped down the stairs

Your butt now had a stair shaped bruise on it

And now you had to get ready for Namjoon’s birthday party because your present had taken 3 weeks to come in and you weren’t about to give it to him the day after his birthday

Which is why 2 hours later, you’re drunk

It only took one “what’s this pee colored drink??”

You’re in the bathroom, trying to figure out how to turn on the sink

For some reason, the knobs won’t turn to either side

Maybe it’s automatic? You wave your hands underneath the spout but still no water

You didn’t hear the knock on the door

You didn’t even know it had opened and someone had walked in until you feel a solid body bounce against yours

Hands caught your waist before you could topple over, and you let out a small “oof” when the momentum stopped and you bounced back against their chest

Mmmmmmm smells like freshly baked muffins

You fisted your hands into the fabric in front of you and buried your nose deeper

“Having fun there?”

“Mmmeppaph” you mumbled, moving your hands around to their back and letting your nose trace its way into the crook of their neck

Hobi hoped you couldn’t feel how quickly his heart was beating

Because it was about to bust out of his chest and if you hum against his neck one more ti--

“Hmmmmm”

You couldn’t help yourself because they were so warm and smelled so nice and made a really nice bed and huh, you were a little tired weren’t you

He felt your body give until you were slumped against him

The only thing that was keeping you upright was his hands on your waist

And your hands which have somehow dropped into his waistband

He shuffled out of the bathroom as carefully as possible

Your head lolled and hit the frame of the door before he could catch it, but you just gave a little huff

Only two more doors

He fumbled with your body before he freed one hand to open his door

Laid you gently onto his bed

He thanked god that he washed his boxers that were laying on there earlier today

Brought a blanket and tucked you in

He couldn’t help himself from rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip because he doesn’t have the courage to do it when you’re awake

He’s never seen you asleep before, but he likes how peaceful you look

You’re not rolling your eyes at him or shooing him away

It makes it a little easier to imagine that you could like him

He initially doesn’t hear that you’re mumbling because it’s so quiet

And the blanket’s kinda in your mouth

He moves it away so he can hear you

It still takes you a couple times before you’re coherent

“Mmmmm can I tell you a secret?”

He smiles because the only secret you told him was that his socks smell like the plague

“Of course”

You shift so that you’re curled around him, your hand resting on his thigh

“I like Hobi, but don tell him ‘cause I don think he thinks I’m cute, even though I ammmmm”

He thinks his heart exploded when he saw you push your lower lip out

“And he’s too nice and good for me, but I’m shellfish and wanna be happy, and he makes me so so so so happy”

You blanched when he recited your words over breakfast and painkillers the next morning

He knew you were going to try to deny everything when you went to open your mouth

So he reached over the counter and cupped your cheek

“Be shellfish and let yourself be happy, okay? Because that makes me happy”

“Oh and by the way, very very cute”

You hum when you taste the syrup on his lips

#i'm losing more and more control with these omg #hope you like!!#bts headcannon #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts fluff #hoseok headcannon #hoseok imagine #hoseok fluff #uni!hoseok #my writing #hoseok scenario #bts drabble #bts fic #bts hoseok #hoseok fic #kpop fic

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mamabearlarusso · 5 years ago

Text

Rollercoaster Ride (Journal)

After hearing a few hard truths from @extremeskate, I was honestly still a little bit nervous--gaining strength for the long and hard journey ahead--but I was keeping an eye on that light at the end of the tunnel...all morning and afternoon at work the next day.

I stepped in to check on the bonsais, during my break--something I had done more often these days, since...well, since they all left. The trees hadn't been trimmed in a while--I hadn't picked up the clippers in years, and now...I just couldn't bring myself to try again--but I would water and repot them whenever they needed it. I'd usually get called away before I finished and it was usually Anoush or Sheila with something that needed signing.

Sometimes I almost felt a presence in the room with me, for a split a second before they walked in. I guess it was just wishful thinking getting the better of me...at the beginning of the year, I was hoping that it would be Daniel turning the corner--that everything hadn't gone pear shaped and at least our kids still had their father around...during that period of radio silence, I was hoping that Robby would just drop by with some wild and crazy story explaining where he had been...it wouldn't have needed to be an apology for scaring me half to death...(I didn't--and still don't--feel I have the right to expect, let alone demand the same from him that I would Sam and Anthony...caring for someone else's child had it's own trials I was constantly trying to navigate)...but maybe just some last wish he had to fulfill for his grandfather...before picking up right where he left off last time.

This time, however...I'd be happy if he just walked in. He wouldn't have to talk to me, he wouldn't even have to look at me...I just wanted to see him. But that's just my selfishness thinking again...and of course it wasn't @robby-l-keene this time, instead it was Anoush. He was quickly escorting one of the new eager employees away from the doorway. I hadn't really thought about it until then, but whenever I had heard anyone talking to the customers about the bonsais...it was him. He didn't even say anything...just a tight little smile and nod, and then they were gone. As the sounds echoed down the hallway, I heard the employee asking him when she'd be able to hand out the trees, but I never did hear his answer.

Part of getting back to living my life, after everything that had been going on, was to gain some stability...again...and actually keep it. Work was rather easy going at the moment, the kids were...well, they were a work in progress--being a single mother was another tight rope I was still trying to learn. If I was honest with myself, my mind was dumb enough to wander--once or twice--and think about what Lucille would have had to say...strictly as a single mother's point of view and not a mother-in-law's, of course...but she was never strictly a one topic type of person and if you can imagine the tangents she would go off on...then that's exactly where she went, well at least in my mind she did.

So, that left friends. I hadn't seen too much of @dr-ali-mills lately, that brunch and girl's movie night had been discussed and rescheduled on a few occasions...but after the online debacle, I was having almost no trouble at all sliding right back into my high school defenses. (Some big drama over a boy happens...you better get ready for the backlash from the popular girls.) I know it sounds crazy, I'm a grown woman...why am I so out of it? Did I ever really grow out of my insecurities? Or were they just lying dormant, until the shit hit the fan at the epic levels I had stopped preparing for...a long time ago?

Seeing Ali's number glaring at me from my phone, I remembered the last time we were together--the impromptu brunch after I got back from The Rattlesnake. After hearing the big explosive news about whatever Johnny and I were, she did admit that it wasn't exactly her favorite thing--even teasing that Teen Ali would've had a few choice ideas for my new hair style, if ever given the chance--but she did also say she'd be there for me...even if it hurt. Ali's been a good friend--a great one even, given the mess I've dumped on her, time and time again. A quick memory flashes across...the look on her face when I gave her the friendship bracelet for Christmas. We might not be BFFs, as they say--just yet--but I've come a long way since high school, and I wasn't going to ruin it by falling back on old habits. Time to grab my board and jump back on that half-pipe.

...and I missed it by THAT much. I didn't even get the chance to hit the call button.

Someone must have decided to give me a break and grant a few wishes--though that someone also had a weird sense of humor, because I got not only one--but two--bittersweet surprises. A text from Robby...he finally reached out...and he didn't even yell at me. (Yeah, well, just wait for it. Can't you just let me have this one thing?) Anyway, he sent up the signal, because he was worried about his dad. Which--in context--would've also made me happy, because that meant that they were talking to each other again, if I hadn't gotten the text right after the first surprise of the night...a drunken call from @everyonesfavoritegoldenboy.

I didn't know what the hell was going on, it might have been because he was only half making sense thru the slurred speech or because my ears started ringing when he said that he'd been in town and didn't tell me. My mind went on overdrive trying to figure what 'all this time' actually meant. Driving around the usual spots, memories flashing of the last time I went looking for him, worrying that 'you ought to have someone better' meant that I'd have to risk losing him...again!

Everything stopped when I saw him...slumped there at the bar. The worry and fear of what I'd be walking into...the irrational anger over his silence and disregard for my feelings, making decisions without giving me a say in any of it...(Why would he? You're not exclusive...you're not even...I don't know what you'd call what you are. I said it was irrational, didn't I?)...but all went stand still when I saw his face. For weeks, I had only heard his voice a few times...but nothing of his living, breathing face. (Oh god, you're sounding like a teenager. Right?! Next thing you know, I'll be writing his name on my binder...I didn't even do that when I was a teenager!)

Seeing him there, with his guys around him, he was a mess...but I just wanted to hold him and make him feel better. (This all really kind of started that way anyway...when you think about it.) The whole rest of the night was, well...being so close to him after so long--it was intoxicating...and I'm not talking about the alcohol...okay, maybe some of it was the alcohol. Let's just say I'm very impressed with myself, that things didn't go the way they may have in my younger days, and I was able to go back home with a mostly clear conscience. Emphasis on the mostly.

After getting Johnny home from the bar, seeing those eyes of his watch me and feeling his warm skin and his lips tease me...having to put a stop to it before things got out of hand--only to strip him down for bed and hop in next to him...(Hey, I know he was drunk off his ass and didn't think I was really me, but I missed him so much and he was so hurt and broken...it was breaking my heart...but nothing happened, I swear, I put my arm around him and we just fell asleep. Yup...you definitely sound like a teenager.)...going back home to an empty bed, felt cold and lonely. In fact, the last time it felt THAT cold and lonely...was the morning after I came back from The Rattlesnake.

It didn't take too long before I made my way back there...but it was just a lunch break check in. (Sure...) Okay, there was a little fun teasing in between cooking up and eating a quick meal. (Which reminds me, I have to take that man shopping and teach him how to cook, or at least how I cook. Might even break down and make some chicken salad from scratch next time.) Then I find out that the reason behind the night at the bar was another near knock-down drag-out with Robby. I think I figured as much, given his timing. Both Lawrence boys contacting me on the same night--after nothing for days. Something went down.

Long story--already too long to be--short, Robby's mother @iamtheladyshannon was in a facility. There was a bunch of drama to go with it (as there always is when those nightmare houses are concerned), but the main problem at the moment was the subject of the constant and ongoing payment. Let's just say, father and son were at odds as how to go about it. I didn't and still don't know the whole story, but I had a laundry list of reasons why I had to do something to help anyway.

Once I was off the phone with @drlivingstoneipresume, awaiting another stomach churning encounter with yet more hospital paperwork...(Don't forget the next trip down memory lane. Shut up.)...it was just Johnny and me again. He had snuggled next to me on the couch, after his talk with @nursejoylove at the door. His hand had found mine, while I was still talking, and it had allowed me to calm down a bit. Having been able to get through the call with a relative coolness, and put something in motion that would help someone in need and by extension ease two people that I care about deeply...I felt a weight had lifted, at least for the time being. Lying back with his head on my shoulder and our fingers comfortably entangled, felt...nice. I went over the details with him, even though he probably heard most of it--I think running through it again, just helped both of us let it sink in...something was being done, we just had to wait.

He got quiet for a moment...'Baby...I don't want to cut this short...But Diaz... he's...'

I knew he'd be going to see @therunawaystudent eventually, if he hadn't already. One reason why I didn't let what bits and parts I overheard of their own conversation, get to me. (It did sound a bit familiar... No! I'm not going to start picking apart every interaction with every woman I see him with...this isn't high school and I'm not the jealous girlfriend. Yeah, and how well did that work for you with your own husband? No...shut up...this isn't about me, this about the boys...don't try and ruin this moment for me.)

Trying not to think about the renewed implications from my visit this weekend--too hard--I smiled warmly...you should have seen the look on his face. 'You mean you knew too? Have I lived in a cave??'

I couldn't help the thought that shot in my mind... "Oh, I don't know, seen any bats lately?" I was able to keep a straight face, until his finger bopped me on the nose. He shook his head trying not to smile. The light mood didn't last too long, though...my back to him as I gathered my things, trying to get the words out. That I was mere feet away from his door, when I brought @chickskickasstoo over to visit Miguel, not even a week ago. I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye, it was already a long day with too many emotions running around to deal with that too.

He walked me back to my car and I kissed him goodbye with a promising wink for a future trip. God, I love that smirk! It was just what I needed to finish the work day.

#cobra kai rp #amanda #robby #ali #johnny #I'm a mess...as always #but he's here...it wasn't a dream #the long road ahead with the lawrence boys is starting to look better #journal again

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