#and tried to make them worse. for Reasons. but also it doesnt totally work bc a) no character in this show understands nanami other than her

[heartslobbf]

on a more serious note the way that nanami frames her dislike of touga’s relationships guts me without fail every time. immediately after this she says ‘you deserve better than this��� which is. So Interesting. and touga replies ‘are you implying you’re the better choice?’ which. my head is in my hands. there’s this horrible intense close-up of his face when he asks that and it’s just soooooo. oh it is So. me when touga has an incredibly fucked up relationship to sexuality and desirability.

but i digress, top ten things about nanami that make me love her more than anyone else in the world ever is the way that she’s so concerned with touga’s well-being and him not being ‘swarmed’ by girls, and at the same time. so wonderfully selfish and entitled. and at the same time. so horribly insecure and guilty about all of that. you know nanami was a terribly lonely and unnoticed child, her only ‘friends’ are lackeys she’s met within the show’s current-day timeframe, her parents ignored her (we dont need to get into whether or not that’s fortunate for her), when she says touga’s ‘smile was for me and me alone’ she really means that. like i believe her!!!! and i understand why he’s so important to her, because it’s like he’s the only person who has ever seen and loved her. and she’s so desperately sad and insecure because she killed his cat and he’s been cold with her ever since and oh god oh god i just need someone to say no one else will do it has to be you just once.

the guilt that nanami feels about Existing. being alive being born taking up space being a (weird non-)person at all. especially the guilt about killing that cat, especially the guilt about Changing her brother (which she has entirely accepted as something she did btw, always wondering why he’s so cold to her nowadays and reasoning that’s it). you know she’s repenting she’s saying over and over again i did this terrible thing and i regret it every day and im awful and terrible and selfish because i still want this one thing i need this one thing. maybe i can get it if i make sure nothing like this ever happens again. framing all these girls as ‘vermin’, a ‘swarm’, worrying herself about their intentions or uncleanliness or whatever. her brother sat catatonic in a room for who knows how long and she’s not supposed to try and fix that for him? try and make sure no one ever puts him in that state again?

i think. maybe. what im getting at here. is the princeliness of the little sister, princehood exercised by a sister. princehood here is the desire or ability to save someone, to exert control and power over them. as i said above nanami is guilt and insecurity and shame and entitlement all bundled together, and that’s partially imho because she has this idea of touga as her prince and she’s his princess, but touga rarely and minimally plays along with it and instead purposefully exacerbates this tendency of hers to. well. get possessive and defensive. and this makes all of those negative feelings they both have worse! it’s like theyre always playing this fucked up game of chicken where they just keep on expressing sentiments that almost get at how they really feel about things and then at the last second they both just regress back to these equivocations that obfuscate The Truth (not pictured here).

like, ‘you deserve better’ = i want you to be happy i want you to love me i want you to forgive me i don’t really think you should. ‘are you implying you’re the better choice?’ = i feel stifled by you i need you i need you to need me i wish i didn’t. their whole egg episode convo is a similar thing. all of their convos are like this. neither of them can say how they really feel and touga purposefully says things that makes the whole thing Worse but often not in the way he thinks he’s making it worse, and nanami often unknowingly says things that make it worse. tldr they cannot communicate on the same level whatsoever wow it’s almost like they’re profoundly alienated from one another and unwilling to change their flawed perceptions of the other. and i am so normal about all of that btw :)

heterophobic nanami real

[ID: two screenshots from 'revolutionary girl utena' of nanami and touga standing in the rose garden. nanami imploringly clings to touga, who stands stiffly with his face obscured from the audience. in the first screenshot, nanami says: 'i know i have to accept that you go out with girls.'

in the second screenshot, nanami continues: 'but don't go out with a girl like her!' /end ID]

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Umineko....

episode 1, part 4

(content warning: i will be talking about a child getting hit by her mother)

battler you are so damn late to the party. everyone else has tried to solve the gold riddle for two years now and got bored with it but its new and fresh to battler!!!!!

hes a little moe sometimes

I LAUGHED ABOUT THERE BEING A GOLD CHASE RIDDLE but its pretty engaging now that im here.

THERES A SWEETFISH RIVER RIGHT THERE!!!!

^ serious remark by the way. i think this is meaningful and could genuinely be the mentioned river.

anyway, the riddle calls for eleven "sacrifices" in total. whether those are living beings or or objects or what have you.

thank you maria. i am not disturbed.

FUNNY how there are twelve family members in total. this could perhaps develope into some sort of battle royal scenario. then again, the servants and doctor are playing too, at least in theory. i am included in the riddle, too. maybe ill die as well!

if anything happens to maria. i dont know what ill do. cry maybe. i entirely cant judge how cruel/tasteless this novel could be in the future. if you Gotta harm a little guy, at least be clever and meaningful and tragic about it, you know? at the very least she seems to know enough about witches to defend herself. idk man, i trust her knowledge. she has her grandfather genes. somehow. LISTEN WOULD SHE RECEIVE SO MUCH ATTENTION FROM THE NARRATIVE IF SHE WASNT CORRECT.... maybe its all red herrings though.

i wonder if kinzo went through all these riddle steps before. i wonder if the earthquake was related, if he had been betting on a wonder that would make him the head of the family.

battler you are the realest person ever

btw rosa hits her child!!!! but not as badly as her father probably hit her!!!!! there is definitely a history of intergenerational violence here, emotionally but physically as well. very striking about the scene are two things: 1. no one explained to maria why her mother wants her to change her behaviour and every hit enforces it, makes it worse, its a downward spiral. 2. the enviroment accepts it and does not intefere, save for battler who is still an outsider of sorts, and he is quickly taught to not involve himself. george, who was usually kind and soft and amazing around maria, says it will be a kindness to act like this never happened, as to not embarrass her. this means purposeful ignorance and therefore acceptance.

anyway, irreparable damage. and now maria is beatrices messenger. thats what happens.

so here she is. apparently. the narrative REALLY wants to built up anticipation to a point where its overdoing it and ruining what tension it created. but i trust it to be satisfying in the end. so far i really enjoyed the interpersonal intrigue and pacing of conversations after all. but i yet struggle to make out how mysterious the storytelling is trying to be and how much thinking i am supposed to do.

BATTLER IS SO NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY THOUGH... its so funny. he really doesnt give a fuck. beatrice is a funny troll to him, hired by his grandfather, or perhaps a scam artist. she has also clarified that the contract she has with kinzo, which would allow her to collect everything he owns, is off, should someone find the gold. so suddenly everyone is friends again!!!!! YAY kyries working theory is that beatrice is the friends we made along the way (one of the people in plain view, just under a pseudonym) which is really solid. thats the most plausible explanation for them right now. its very cool that she gets to do a whole detective monologue on it.

this is just a little game to them. heart emoji

at the very least, there is a new 'furniture' development: it might also just refer to the fact that the servants are to be passed along to the whoever solves the riddes, alongside the mansion, as if they are simply furniture pieces within it. tools at disposal. the only reason i cling to this is bc how often this specific phrasing it brought up.....

everything is about to go to shit so i am ending this post here. but my god. its about to happen, i think. kill rend maim

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. people also need to get frustration with LO isn't because people don't like RS (though she isn't exactly free from critique)  it's because she's just another privileged white woman who is handed everything on a golden platter while she does increasingly more subpar work, meanwhile other webtoon creators have to work twice as hard while they get ignored and neglected by WT. She's just another example of privileged mediocrity getting all the rewards while rest get scraps at very best.

2. Not an LO critique per-say but I hate how webtoons will always make sure to promote it and pretend theyre still easygoing team as if they're not the same company who neglected the B&R so much they want to quit art all together, cancelled BOTH comics by the roommate assassin's creator w/ no warning, and are ghosting the creator of #blessed for over 2 years now so they can't continue. But hey, make sure to think they're such a nice company that totally don't care about the cash cow creators only!

3. whats so annoying me is you know if rachel was a greek person that you just know no one would care about LO because no one cares about the opinions of actual greeks less than xenoi. rachel on virtue of being a kiwi gets held up as the ACTUAL expert on greece and its myths meanwhile the actual greeks are silenced and told they should be thankful to HER "keeping the myths alive". its just gross she gets to butcher an ongoing culture's stories all for her profit while she aides in silencing them.

4. i actually got an LO ad while on youtube today and its just?? weird theyre still only using art from 2018?? like idk i get thats when it actually had effort put into it, but it would be really weird to discover it now and see the style just got so much worse/different and the story doesnt align at all with what the ads say it is.

5. ngl i want to see what stupid reasoning rachel makes up to deal with semele and dionysus because it will truly be unhinged if she tries to hashtag girlboss hera as she murders a pregnant women and tortures a baby through his adulthood (personally i think she'll have hxp adopt the baby for whatever reason but then now dionysus has to deal with a mom who would be a better sister and a dad who resents him for not being from his broken balls 💀) guess we'll have to wait and see.

6. IDK to me I don't think people have to justify why they don't like this comic, because I have seen way too many of the fans force people to out their sexual abuse histories and trauma to explain why they're so uncomfortable with it, only to be told by these same fans that doesn't matter and saying they're wrong and basically need to "get over it" because the comic matters more they do. It's so gross to force them to explain their pain only to be told their pain and opinions don't matter anyway.

7. I don't even get why Webtoons keeps trying to acquire new comics from NAVER or Canvas when they only focus on LO, LP, TB, and at best UnO and leave the rest to fend for themselves. No wonder the last few months of "Greenlit" announcements have included either one/two or no picked up Canvas series, and for good reason. Why would they agree to all that work with little pay and no company support? They'll spend at most one instagram post on them meanwhile they just HAVE to make another 30 for LO.

8. To add to the "LO should be taught in schools" thing: literature you read in school (esp high school and college) HAS to be challenging and make you think, so YA of any type often just isn't included bc they're not deep They can still read LO all they want, but it serves zero academic merit and that's fine! They don't need academic approval to enjoy a lowbrow comic! If anything trying to hype it up as something it's not only opens it up to being even more critiqued that it already is!

9. I honestly wish RS had stuck with her Victorian era comic because not only would we not have to deal with LO but I would 100% prefer to read a gothic style comic about sci fi horror and dry sarcasm over this neon colored fanfic of the 2014 tumblr version of greek mythology mixed with her ripping off fifty shades.

10. it's embarrassing how the stans just claim "misogyny!!" when one critiques LO or says its not exactly high art because like? It's pop lit, it's not groundbreaking in any way and frankly pretty devoid in any sort of themes or messages, and that's fine! it has a place for that and a lot of people like it, but it's not misogyny to admit it's not Shakespeare. Yeah, a lot of YA and female stories are pushed aside as "fluff" but LO is NOT being discriminated against for being YA or by a woman.

[planet4546b]

hi i would like to hear more about ur recent jackie revelation. how is their new origin different from what u were working with before? in what ways does it make things simpler? does it make anything else more complicated? etc etc as u please

ehehe jackie <3

spoilers ahead if thats something you care about. personally i dont give a fuck bc i <3 dramatic irony

idk how much of jackie's backstory i've talked about so sorry if i've said this before but just for clarity's sake: jackie is from a parallel dimension to the one we're in (one of many names for this dimension would be wave0, jackies would be from wave8 or wave15 or something). in their dimension, a group also tried to stop the coming end of the world, and jackie was involved in this group but bailed towards the end of their journey bc they were bitter and selfish. they abandoned their world for ours and their world was completely destroyed as a result.

all of that is completely the same!! the thing that's different is the group they were traveling with.

in the old version, they were traveling with a bunch of (essentially) random people. all of the people in the group were important to them, they got along and were friends, etc etc, but they just had absolutely no relevance to the story at large because theyre all dead and because jackie's relationship with their past is complicated in a way that means they don't want to talk about them. like i never even had names for these guys (i have a lineup of them somewhere from an unfinished jackie amv, but those were all on the spot designs hgjlkdsa)

(sidebar: this is all a holdover from the last version of the story, ladybird - jackie's backstory in s/n was lifted almost entirely from their lb one, just because it happened to work, and because jackie is a character i tend not to focus on i hadn't thought a ton about it until recently so it was just sorta one of the last remnants of that old version that needed to be cleared out)

in this version, jackie was traveling with alternate versions of sam, mel and emily. this is much more of a typical 'i came from a slightly different timeline' type of thing, but i really like the complexity it adds to all of the relationships on the board - it means jackie has a reason to try to save these people (they've watched them die before), they have an odd sort of familiarity with everyone that no one can quite figure out, they keep looking at these people and seeing someone else. i already made you read my whole essay on jackie and samira and adding to that the fact that every time jackie looks at sam it's a familiar face?? that its someone they personally doomed? whew.

AND its about how everything is always doomed. its about jackie coming from a doomed world and how they think 'well if i had stayed maybe we would have been able to stop this' and that objectively not being true - it's always going to fail, no matter the universe - and then they die in this universe before they can ever realize just how doomed everything is. like is it better or worse to die with a little bit of hope left????

so overall it makes the backstory more simple (which follows my own internal rule for backstories) but makes character relationships and character fate more complex + more tragic and you know i LOVE a complex character relationship. it's gonna take a bit of work to get it to totally work with everything else in the story, so there's a small chance i'll change my mind if it just doesnt gel right, but i REALLY like it for now. picking up jackie and rattling them around!!!!

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

[yyxgin]

no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3

admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.

thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?

also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.

im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!

also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.

gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨

ilyl ~ 🌻

thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you 

HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes

aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd

oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.

why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??

ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!! 

YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing

ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!! 

ily <333

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Don’t Praise the Almighty (Part 1)

Also on AO3

hold on to your hats everyone - this is part one. i was going to put them together, then i realised part two is 6000 words and thats just too long 

TW for: implied abuse of all kinds, straight-up physical and emotional child abuse, gaslighting, all might if he was a terrible person.

TL;DR: 

Things you must sacrifice to make a hero: Humanity, Empathy.

Things you must sacrifice to be a hero: Everything.

izuku wants to be a hero, imagine the first ep happens etc. yagi doesnt so much say "you can be a hero" as "ill make you a hero"

an aside: inko is an absent parent, to make ends meet and a poor way of coping with a missing Hisashi. Izuku grows up without any positive adults figures in his life.

yagi makes izuku train and train and train, the kid’s hands bleed and his legs ache but allmight makes him keep going. allmight says he's useless and pathetic and a crybaby and izuku believes him, because he's allmight

they spar and yagi just holds back enough to not let izuku get hurt too badly to train. even katsuki is disturbed bc quirkless deku is coming to school with black eyes and swollen wrists

when katsuki calls him pathetic izuku just nods

"ill get better though"

and katsuki feels so gross he doesnt try to fuck with izuku for weeks

and so izuku is so convinced this is normal because katsuki does it, and mum does it, and now allmight? thats just how you treat kids he thinks. or quirkless ones at least

hes still a big fan of allmight because he doesnt see whats wrong. hes just pathetic and useless but then he'll get a quirk and he'll be worth something for the first time in his life

he barely sleeps, barely eats, just trains and studies and trains some more. he collapses. all might stands there until izuku gets back up and makes him keep running

reasons all mights like this

he is 1, suffering from internalised quirk discrimination

2, nana's dead bc she wasn't "strong enough"

3, he thinks he can shape izuku into the perfect selfless hero, and better person than he ever was.

hes convinced this is for the greater good. hes a dick but hes so sure hes in the right here

by the time of the entrance exam izuku is,,, kinda fucked up

he passes with flying colours because he used his quirk for the first time, broke his arm, and immediately moved on to snaping finger after finger. the teachers watched on, horrified as this child mutilated himself to get points

all might smiled. because this is what he wanted.

he saves ochacco too

he gets in and allmight is pleased with him, even more pleased than the time izuku admitted he hadn't slept for 72 hours and still got a perfect score on his test

and izuku thinks this was all worth it to see his hero smile at him

izuku is in 1A

izuku actually listed that he feels less pain due to his quirk, which aizawa believes but hes still not sold on the idea of a hero that destroys themselves. he doesnt know if izuku heals better or faster, but he's sure that may broken bones cant be good

aizawa is convinced he's going to expel izuku during the quirk test. the look he sees on izuku’s face when he says he's expelling the lowest scorer makes his stomach churn

because all of the other kids look worried, nervous

izuku looks like hes going to throw up.

the kid is trembling and pale and aizawa watches as he turns to ochako, smiles brightly and says "let's do our best" while he holds back full body tremors the other kids don't see

he breaks toes and fingers and he cries but he doesn't flinch at the pain

the only time he flinches is when someone looks him in the eyes, if someone speaks too loud, and at the firecracker pops of katsuki's quirk

and aizawa feels sick

the ball toss, he just can't watch this kid break anymore, and he stops his quirk

for a second he freezes, because this kids quirk manages pain, he'll be feeling all of those broken bones, he'll obviously notice

right?

but izuku doesnt notice his missing quirk until he throws the ball. he turns around, looking sick. aizawa feels so lost when he looks at him with pure relief

"oh, you're eraserhead"

izuku tears up for the first time in that class.

"please give me back my quirk"

aizawa feels so lost he blinks, and his quirk drops with it. there is something totally wrong about the utter relief the kid feels having this horrifically damaging quirk back, and there is something bothering aizawa about it, but he doesn't know what

"dont use your quirk for the rest of this test, kid. not unless you can use it without breaking something"

izuku nods but aizawa knows the kid will just try to hide it. he takes him by the shoulder when the others have moved on

"i mean it, midoriya. no quirk, or i'll expell you on the spot"

and izuku just looks so lost

"but, i have to? i'm-"

"you didn't flinch when i took your quirk. you can feel every broken bone, can't you?"

izuku just nods, like walking with broken toes is normal, like throwing a ball with broken fingers is easy. aizawa knows it's not

he just sighs.

"no quirk. we'll work on training it after. you're ahead enough not to fail the course, go to recovery girl now. you aren't expelled"

izuku just looks hurt

aizawa shoos him away and almost misses the thin form of all might slink out from behind the wall to follow izuku

he's worried, and confused. But he can't just, abandon a field of kids

he texts hizashi bc that's just who he texts when he's panicking, and he asks him to look out for smallmight and izuku, somewhere on the way to the infirmary. so present mic turns on the first movie he finds on his computer (an english language copy of rocky) yells "ENGLISH PRACTISE TIME" and runs out the door

1C is so lost

anyway, present mic can be quiet when he tries and when he hears the sound of allmight sternly talking to a student that's crying? he tries real fucking hard

he basically catches

"you're supposed to be stronger than this, why did he make you stop?"

"he saw my bones breaking-i couldnt-"

"and so you flinched? didn't we train?"

"i didnt flinch! he made me stop!"

allmight backhands him

"dont waste it. either get better at hiding it or learn to use your quirk without breaking bones quickly or ill find another successor. one that isn't useless."

present mic hears izuku agree and cry and he feels ill. he sneaks back a little further, then loudly walks down the hall. allmight smiles at him, and he wants to punch the man

izuku smiles at him too, tears in his eyes but like he's happy to see another hero. present mic cant understand why izuku is pressed so close to a man that hurt him, like he's more afraid of present mic than allmight

he walks with them to recovery girl, chatting like he was meant to be there. hes so grateful allmight is new, because he totally has a class he's meant to be teaching right now and that would be so suspicious if he knew his schedule 

he walks them all the way to the door, and he lingers. there is a touch of steel in his eyes when he tells allmight to take care because what he really means is "take care of yourself because i will not"

and hes halfway down the corridor before he freezes

why did izuku seem so comfortable with a man he shouldn't know

anyway present mic is having a quiet breakdown for 20 seconds before he sprints back to his class, pretends he never left, and panic texts aizawa

so aizawa, with a little great context, knows that that, particular, conversation wasn't as,,, unsavoury,,, as it could,,, be implied,,,

but like,,,,,, he's really lost on why izuku would know small might and he's very worried

bakugo is fuCKinG PisSed

izuku left?? and he wasn't expelled???

Any,,, unsavoury implications arent something I'm going to talk ab in this au bc it doesn't need to be worse,,, but it's very much intentional

so aizawa is having an actual moral crisis rn bc hizashi isn't a liar and he doesn't want to like, not believe when he saw. but really? the symbol of peace is terrible??? and hizashi doesn't want to believe it either. both of them as so sure they are just missing context or something

bakugo stalks up to recovery girls office after class bc wtf deku?? and he walks in to just see izuku blankly picking at new white scars

he actually perks up when katsuki enters

and there is this man standing over izuku. this man he's seen with izuku before, yelling at him, but someone izuku seems happy to be around. it's not deku’s dad, he knows that. and the guy is too blonde and tall to have literally any relation to him.

a lot of the fire in katsuki goes out when he sees how tired izuku looks, and the question he was going to yell becomes more of a mumble

"so, you have a quirk now? just like that?"

he looks up and he sees that man's hand on izuku's shoulder, curled like a claw, so tight it must hurt. but izuku doesn't flinch or shy away, he smiles softly

"i'm really lucky, huh kacchan?"

and as much as izuku looks like he believes it, katsuki has the strongest feeling that this is the worst possible thing that could have happened to his once-friend

he just leaves

and he almost runs straight into his new teacher. they lock eyes and even though katsuki doesn't know whats going on, aizawa doesn't know whats going on, they both just know something is happening

and its not good

but what can they do

hes the symbol of peace

recovery girl is 100% in denial bc she new baby toshi and he's a dork but he's a good boy

izuku gets knocked tf out by recovery girls heal and toshi carries him out of the school grounds and shes like "how cute"

honestly they get to they gate, he wakes izuku up and reminds him to run home to get in the extra cardio, and izuku does. all the way home.. not only bc yagi wanted him to, but that's a big bit but bc if he was late hed wouldn’t get dinner

so the battle trial

so aizawa is like,,, : | ab everything

so he attends the battle trial rather than take the nap he really fucking wanted

the kids come out in their costumes and something sits poorly about the way izuku positively preens at almighty compliments. so basically it goes like the show, but allmight doesnt try to stop Bakugo. aizawa doesn't have audio, but he sees what the kids see and rips the mic out of allmights hand to tell bakugo to stop

he doesnt have to, though

because izuku has already vanished from sight

bakugo looks lost, aizawa is worried, but allmight just looks smug because a second later, izuku drops from the ceiling where he swung up, and punches bakugo in the back of the head

allmight grins and it looks nasty

izuku gives bakugo a once-over to make sure hes ok, wraps his wrists, then puts him in the recovery position and scampers out of the room to ochako

aizawa is lost, because that is c l e a r l y combat training. from the back of the room, todoroki starts watching in earnest

with ochako, he grabs the bomb. they walk out of the exercise and all might congratulates them on winning and izuku looks so happy! but allmight isn't done

"young midoriya, why didn't you use your quirk?"

the only people that notice the way he pales are todoroki and aizawa

"sorry sir, i didn't want to disappoint mr aizawa"

allmight nods, and he smiles but aizawa doesnt like it

"thats ok my boy, we'll have to see about getting you some out of class quirk training, huh?"

izuku smiles. hes happy, but he looks panicked

he looks guilty about being afraid

aizawa silently tells his agency he needs the week off to investigate something personal, and they readily give him the time off

izuku mumbles happily to himself about the exercise, stilling when all might looks gazes with him. he stops, flushes, and apologises. allmight nods.

he begins again, but hes not mumbling anymore, hes speaking clearly and concisely with the other students, even though he doesnt want to talk to them, he just wants to think. but allmight says to talk clearly to everyone or to remain silent and he just wants so badly to talk about the exercise

todoroki looks between izuku and allmight and he wonders

USJ time baby

allmight uses up his time, like before

the difference is, when the nomu comes for aizawa? izuku doesnt hesitate to jump in. thats what allmight wanted. he wanted someone so selfless that "would i give my life for them" isn't even a question that would cross their mind, they would just move

izuku stalls. he's shivering and shaking, walking on broken toes but he stands between aizawa and the nomu and he smiles

shigiraki looks at izuku and doesn't see a hero in training. he sees someone like him, like his league. someone who has be stepped on and ruined and reborn

and he wants him

when he sees something he likes, he wants it. like his sensei and his quirks. shigiaki collects people like action figures to use how he likes

anyway, he sees this little 'hero' and for all his stubbornness he knows he won't get izuku today

so he does what his sensei did to him all those years ago

he shows kindness. just enough to break him

he looks izuku in the eyes and says

"hero society is so rotten they break children into weapons to fight other broken pieces. whats fair about that?"

and izuku looks stunned. he drops his smile.

"from one broken piece to another, i wont shatter you today."

kurogiri moves izuku and aizawa just outside of the usj

they cant get in, aizawa has no quirk to break through the walls and izuku is shell shocked

he takes a second to look at aizawa like his world is falling down and aizawa understands.

and then

allmight appears

and aizawa hates himself for how relieved he feels

allmight looks at izuku and izuku smiles so wide. and then he frowns

"they want to kill you"

"they aren't the first, my boy."

and izuku pauses

"they seem pretty sure they can, sir."

and allmights smile looks meaner

"what, you really think so little of this old man?"

and izuku shakes his head violently

"not at all! no, im sorry-"

allmight looks at his student and suddenly there isnt a wall anymore, blasted into tiny shards by allmight’s punch. izuku scrambles inside after him

aizawa tells him to stay outside, to stay safe. but allmight levels a glare at him that almost hurts to meet. aizawa cringes and rushes after them, cradling broken arms

the fight ends much the same, but upon seeing izuku in the way on his hand, shigiraki closes his fist

allmight doesn't miss that

and, with that the other teachers arrive. and again, present mic and aizawa wonder why izuku knows allmight small form

oh also just as a weird powerplay thing, allmight calls izuku by his first name in private while izuku calls him sir everywhere

aizawa has the worst of the injuries, but years of sleep deprivation mean he can pretty easily resist the call of sleep after recovery girls quirk. not that anyone knows that. so he hears the edges of a conversation between hero and student

he hears sobs and a slap and apologies from both parties. he hears a louder conversation on training after class to better use izuku’s quirk and aizawa decides he's going to force himself into this 'training' because he doesnt like the optics on any of this

allmights angry that the villains were fond of izuku, bc that means izuku was doing something wrong, right? and he's also angry izuku barely used his quirk, but he does kinda understand needing to be able to walk still

anyway in the training we get the joy of a creepy scene of yagi assessing the physique of a barely dressed izuku

aizawa isn't there yet and boy howdy does he feel ill when yagi walks out of the changing rooms a few minutes before izuku does

anyway so it doesn't take long for yagi and aizawa to get izuku using his quirk w/o achy breaky bones and izuku is proud, and so is aizawa

but yagi just kinda pipes in with "about time" and izukus face crumples

aizawa just says "better late than never" and izuku gives a watery smile

yagi scares enji but he just royally pisses off todoroki

bc todoroki just looks at the guy

"big strong me, what you gonna do, punch me? yeah right bastard and i'll go screaming to the press. I dont give a fuck what you think you dick of an old man!"

please izuku is totally convinced that this is just normal training, that yagi is doing his best and a teacher, is doing right by him. and shouto is just,,, he doesnt know the whole story. just knows that all might scares izuku and that all mights secretary has a connection to him

but he knows that yagi was creepy enough to make his old man have bad vibes and thats an achievement

Enji sat, reigning back a snarl as the green boy threw Shouto -his Shouto- from the ring, to land on his back in a graceless cloud of dust. Beside him, All Might’s secretary grinned. It wasn’t a nice grin, like the hero, but a nasty crawling one that made Enji feel cold even with his flames dancing around his face.

Enji had never liked the man, his instincts telling him there was something horrifically off about him. But the number one hero had resources he couldn’t dream of, so he kept his lips shut.

“Well done, my boy.”

There was no familial resemblance between the skeletal man beside him, and the boy who stood both victorious and broken where his son should have been. No resemblance to the hulking oaf of a hero either. But their quirks were markedly similar, as were their smiles, if the boy’s was a little kinder.

The man turned to him, all polite smiles and condolences for his son’s loss.

The smug aura around him so strong that Enji allowed himself, for just a second, to pity the boy in green.

Its just tenya and todoroki who know

and quickly bakugo too, bc he was there for shoutos tragic backstory reveal, which included izukus too

and like,,, mic and aizawa are in denial bc jesus christ its the number one hero and hes normally so nice

izuku v katsuki babey!

basically izuku starts to panic and bakugo stops the fight and grabs his hand

"pull yourself together deku. forget everyone else, this is just a fight between me and you, go it?"

and izuku gives a shakey smile, and nods. bakugo releases his hand

"lets start this again, huh izuku"

"sure thing kacc-. Katsuki"

and then fiGHT and its great and its a tie bc they are both so fucking exhausted. izuku and bakguo have to get hauled to their feet by midnight, but both of them are grinning

izuku has trouble w his hero name, like, a l o t bc everything he comes up with yagi says no

but yagi wont give him any ideas eventually izuku just ends up with his hero name being "nine" bc yagi liked that one

katsuki can just,,, tell izuku doesn't like it (bc it reduces him as a hero down to his quirk)

(he wants the name jackrabbit)

he has no supports in his costume bc "it makes you look weak" and no support gear either

ok so , his bones are less fucked than canon zuku but hes willing to break them fucking constantly

aizawa actually comes up to him before the sports festival and says "you break your bones, you get disqualified. no excuses"

yagi is p i s s e d but just nods politely to aizawa tells izuku hed better do as aizawa says, as stupid as a request it may be

also izuku really,, wants to paint his nails dumb glittery colours like ochako and mina do so they paint his nails for him! and then at lunch yagi scrubs the polish off with a dish scrubber

to make it worse, mina is sad izuku took it off, but she just

pauses

when she sees his fingers are almost bleeding

"midoriya, what happened?"

"oh haha funny thing, one of our teachers said i might get a uniform violation so i got a little enthusastic with scrubbing it off, sorry!"

aizawa just winces

one of the finals nails in the coffin is todoroki asking if "the tall thin blonde guy" is izukus dad

aizawa says no

todoroki says "good"

s t a i n a r c

so izuku finds iida and steps between iida and stain, starts fighting him, todoroki shows up, stain starts rambling about how allmight is the best hero and todoroki gives him a strange look

"i used to agree. but seeing allmight at school, i dont think hes the icon of morality everyone says"

izuku is spluttering, denying it, stain is just watching them. so stain isnt even fighting them, hes interested. bc this selfless kid is the one shigiraki wants

iida is lost too and he gets this,,, look in his eyes like he's starting to connect some dots

anyway, fight proceeds, they win the nomu tries to carry izuku off, stain stops the nomu and saves izuku and vaguely he realizes the way izuku just, sits in his arms, like he doesnt know how to react to being touched, and he pushes it aside

and he holds izuku close because all he knows is that this boy is kind and good and the world has hurt him and he says that this boy he is holding is the only hero hes ever worth met their salt

oh but after the hero killer thing, yagi storms into the office and hauls izuku out by his injured arm

and tenya and shouto just feel sick

"should, should we tell all might? about how his secretary treats midoriya?"

shouto just glares at the half-open door, quiet apologies drifting down the hall until they turn another corner

"i'm quite sure that man already knows."

[kob131]

https://kaedeichinose.tumblr.com/post/613795649532624896/hey-about-that-rwby-rewrite-of-yours-i-remember

hey about that r/wby rewrite of yours, I remember you saying you didn’t kill Jaune off but just nuked his plot lines. What did you replace Jaunedice with?

So you destroyed the one well written part of Volume 1.

Congrats. you literally could not fuck up any worse.

that mightve been an older concept i was working with but i dont talk about my ideas all that frequently so im not surprised. i know i did used to think this but ultimately [cocks gun] its for the best. i did overhaul his plotline a bit so hes not shitty though

Place your bets.

first of all during his first meeting with pyrrha hes not fucking rude and physically aggressive for no reason. he does butt in on the conversation but only continues bc pyrrha engages with him. instead of being put off by her fame (YOU KNO, THE THING HE DOES THAT PYRRHA EXPICITLY SAID HE DIDNT DO. THAT THING.) he gets boastful and goes “well im sure i could totally keep up with her” which is misplaced confidence but she appreciates the spirit

*CRACK!*

... Wow, how did you break things THAT bad?

‘he’s rude and physically aggressive’ he wasn't physically aggressive in the original, he was just rude. Which makes sense as he’s SUPPOSE to be macho and suppose to be wrong. That’s uh, kind of why it’s funny when he gets pushed around. And why the fuck would Jaune think he would be able to catch up to Pyrrha, his whole shtick is that he’s not confident and he feels a need to stand out and stand on his own. Yeah he could be lying to himself but you don’t say that here and considering your best, you probably wouldn’t think of that.

pyrrha doesnt actively seek him out to partner with she just hears hi mscreaming and helps bc shes just nice and doesnt realy mind teaming up with whoever anyway.

... SO the exact same thing in canon just more telling and less showing. Because Pyrrha by using her spear to save Jaune locked herself into being his partner but she still helped him because she’s nice.

he actually tries VERY hard in school to catch up but still falls flat so instead of some prick who doesnt try and doesnt want help but still wants to be good hes actually trying VERY hard and only doesnt ask for help bc hes a cheater.

...

So canon again. Except that you removed one of his similarities to Ruby and robbed the show of a connection between characters, which interests so many people...just to get to the same point which would still be bitched at because you guys don’t care about what actually happens in the show.

at the end of the arc he comes clean to nora and ren also bc he realizes hes putting them in danger so ultimately weather or not he continues to attend is up to the rest of the team to decide. so he can be friends with them before he fucking dies and have screen time and interactions with them. ultimately theyre fine with hi mstaying and offer to help train him bc ren appreciates that he genuinely does want to help people (which aligns with his own interests) and nora has Abandonment Issues so shes definately not throwing a friend out the window. 

... How the fuck did he put them in danger? They’re the strong ones and Jaune never acts in a way that endangers anyone but himself.

All you did was add in bullshit in an already bare bones Volume.

the dance arc doesnt fucking happen bc weiss told him to fuck off after the ice angel thing in v1 and he respected that bc hes not psychotic 

And yet you don’t say anything about Neptune being demanded he be beaten up by Weiss.

This shit is why I say you fuckers are sexist: you only give a shit in very narrow circumstances.

overall just more interaction with everyone in general so it feels like it fucking matters when i nuke him so pyrrha can be a real character 

... So you’re going to give a character you screech at if he exists for more than a second more screentime?

Yeah sure.

Also let me go ahead and address this bullshit ‘it’s better for Jaune to die than Pyrrha!’-

A. Jaune would get creamed in the first second of arrival or you’d have to make him a Mary Sue.

B. He’d still wouldn’t have the build up with Cinder that Pyrrha did as she was chosen to be a maiden.

C. It still wouldn't mean anything because instead of the strongest student dying, either the weakest student or a Mary Sue wearing his skin is dying so who cares?

D. Instead of having a character who has a moderately strong but necessary drawback semblance without extensive power to overbalance the team, we now have someone far stronger than any of the heroes who would either kill the tension or repeatedly need to be removed from the picture.

And E. What would this actually accomplish? No one besides people with murderboners towards Jaune suggests this change and they are so fringe they wouldn’t be a viable target to get emotional about. This isn’t a fix to the show, this is a demand for pandering to yourself. This would satisfy no one but yourselves....if even that because Pyrrha would still focus on Jaune and you’d throw a bitch fit there or remove him entirely for your own bigoted reasons, which would break the show for a vast majority of the audience.

This is why rewrites of RWBY do not work. You people do not consider the intricates of the show and instead of fixing small problems with small solutions, you take a sledgehammer to the whole thing and declare yourself a master writer just as the rumble crushes you.

Stop pretending that you have the experience, the talent, or the drive let alone the discipline to even attempt a fanfiction of this, let alone an actual show.

[bagilgulhaze]

MAYBE ITS BECAUSE, RADFEM CIRCLES ARE INHERENTLY ANTI FEMME/BUTCH CULTURE? SCREAAAAM. IMAGINE HATING TRANS WOMEN SO MUCH THAT YOU DONT CARE THAT IDEOLOGY YOU ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH DOESN'T FALL IN LINE WITH THE WAY YOU IDENTIFY ("FEMME'OK LMAO)

1. Feminine women using make up etc aren't oppressed by ACTUALLY GNC women. And bc you're dumb and white and cis and radfem, there isn't point of saying how hyper feminine behaviour is associated often with the presentation of certain WOC, lower socio economic class women, and TRANS women. Who are then VILIFIED by TERFS (mainly, trans women) for "LITERALLY cooperating with the patriarchy for putting make up on or having long acrylyc nails or whatsoever". Because you wouldn't care about any of that.

The fakes you call radfem butches aren't doing it because they're misogynistic femme oppressing butches. "Gender nonconformity" is praised, in white women, in cis women, and when it's just the right amount to still be aactually very conforming, and not, you know, "actually crazy dysphoric man-copying butch". Like, again. The entire Radfem agenda !?

How can you be femme when it sees the femme and butch identities for those reasons as sexist heterosexuality emulating and regressive! With complete disregard to other cultures of color. The entire radfe ideology is informed by racism and classism stated as neutral things. What a woman is, is completely based on those standards in which everyone is judged. Not to talk about, of course, trans women who are outright shunned, not secretly, and ignored from the "female experience" (and prosecuted).

Then ignoring how often all those things appear together in butch/femme spaces (butch femme culture as something that was formed in the bar scene with lower class communities of color?! Hello!? Even around the world wherever this culture naturally was adopted its usually not white and lower class and very trans inclusive, from my experience).

2. And by everyone who doesn't paste the word feminist over it and tries to explain it that way, it's just treated as trashy, and less enlightened and progressive to appear hyper feminine by the same women who also conform to femininity, white cis middle upper class femininity that registers in many cultures as less hyper feminine, so they get creds for being more GNC while being AS gender conforming with their make up-less face and wide clothes and short but still feminine haircuts, just by their cultures standards.... which again, the radfem agenda is informed by since it's made out of white upper middle class cis women.

Like, yeah, my mom totally outside of radfem circles and ideaology, get talked down to at work despite being the manager that makes most profit compared to her male counterparts but also compared to her white, cishet, pants wearing no make up on no heels female counterpart. They treat her like a little girl and with less respect and unfairly dismiss her often. Is it because she puts make up on and is feminine and being feminine, as a cis woman gets you discriminated ? no. It's because she is VISIBLY. BROWN. And her hyper feminine appearance doesnt assimilate to ashkenazi white femininity standards and seen as REGRESSIVE. YOU ALL are SO thick. If my mom was ACTUALLY GNC by ashkie standards or so was her female coworker? They would get SHIT for it.

3. Those bitches you call butch bc they dont put make up on or whatever aren't butches, and if they're cis "butches" who care more about hating trans women then being in spaces that respect them, then definitely those places dont praise them, if a butch dare be dysphoric, she is mentally I'll. This isn't a valid experience. If a butch binds and buzz her hair and packs shes trying to be a man. What's wrong with your vagina? Why are you trying to be a man? Its internalized misogyny. No, terfs spaces dont praise butches, nor do they praise femmes (neither do you it seems, by the way you view those topics) because they're inherently anti butch/femme culture.

4. Butch/femme spaces I've been to, have been constantly the most accepting to hyper (brown&black, lower class, in your face) femininity lol. Whenever you see a space with actual butches you would look around and see lesbians and bi women with crop tops and bright red lipstick and long neon acrylic nails who wrap around their butches. It's the queer spaces I get LEAST looks for being a femme, because it's not seen as anti-queer straight or problematic and unattractive. There isn't a sense of superiority from white western-GNC queers that look down at it (and would, admittedly, look down at the butches too.but they're not regressive for appearing feminine but usually for adopting mannerisms associated with brown and lower class people (men). As the femmes do with mannerism of women... ) so as you can see... even not radfem spaces it's still about racism, and classism.

5. And these are just about the two topics radfem dont claim proudly to exclude (lower class and woc). Trans women, who's safety usually depends on passing but also again, are held to much higher standard of femininity in order to conform and cant walk with sweatpants, no make up and sneakers and be as conforming as a cis white lady (...thin. did I mention thin lol all connects doesnt it...amazing how it's not femephobia on every aspect) would, isn't more backwards and regressive for doing any of that but again lost fight bc shes just another "man" who is part of the patriarchy, which is even worse than "females" who are co operating with it.

Edit: sex workers too. Apply to all of it. Same criticism but not that terfs pretend to care about them either.

[blookmallow]

playing rusty lake Roots... theres so much going on 

i wrote this post at like 2 AM last night so its kind of incoherent lmao

ok so now im following the family history of... maybe the founders of the rusty lake hotel? someone who is Involved Somehow. some weird shit is going on and im really into it but not quite following yet 

oH god theres a dead guy in the clock. ok 

i spent like 10 minutes solving puzzles in this room with that dude in there the whole time and i had no idea OK SURE 

then i had to burrow into his chest to steal his heart, as you do. sorry sir apparently i need it for some reason but it doesnt look like you’re using it anymore anyway 

very romantic

the absolutely batshit solutions to some of these are so good like. “she likes him! he likes her! help them communicate” “ok i will... give her a rose” “she likes the rose! oh she pricked herself and is bleeding everywhere now” “i... use her blood. for ink. with the feather i got from a raven earlier. so he can write her a love note. with her blood” “great job! they’re engaged now” “i see” 

and you’ll NEVER GUESS where i found a ring for her 

god damn it its you again

why is this disembodied hand following me everywhere i go... i didnt kill it this time it was already dead but like, Why 

oh fuck its the dudes!!!! from the hotel!!!! its the guys!!!! 

i can also see them in the hotel across the lake despite everyone else being humans this time and it feels like this should be Before the events of the, uh. dinner party. but it might be shadows of the future to come or something, there’s a lot of ominous Fate and something to do with memories happening here 

oh. that’s why i needed the heart. i see 

im collecting sacrifices for some kind of revival i think, im betting this is gonna end up being how mr. owl happened somehow 

oH god that’s. ok. fuckign christ 

thats not. how any of this works but sure ok that happened 

really not a fan of the fact that the solution to “how do i get the key from the dog” ended up being “feed it the woman’s fucking placenta after she gives birth” lmao ok

i do like when the solutions are like. unexpectedly horrifying, though. that moment of “wait. no. no. oh god. thats it isnt it” 

also the woman would only give me one bottle of milk (there’s three babies) so i had to fill another one with wine and another with water. i feel like this is a bad method of caring for your triplets but what do i kno 

i know this all isnt really meant to be taken literally tho i think... everything happening here is highly symbolic but im not sure exactly how

the milk goes to samuel, who seems the most normal/put together child, maybe the one who was treated the best/the most privileged one/the one closest to the mother 

the wine goes to albert who ends up being the most fucked up one so maybe thats a sign he was abused/maybe one or both parents had an alcohol problem they took out on him the most 

im not sure what the water would mean though, that one goes to emma and shes a botanist so, water for the flowers, i guess, she later commits suicide but i dont know why yet (or maybe it might not be explained at all) maybe it’s a. wasting away/neglected thing? 

hm.

im missing a shot i thought i had here but you’re in an alchemy lab trying to make this elixir and the alchemist won’t take it, and the only other thing in the room is.... the dog 

so i was just like :( im gonna kill the dog arent i 

but then 

the dog drank the elixir and was fine so the alchemist tried it and immediately died, so apparently it’s a 50/50 chance of either reaction and not “it works or it doesn’t” all around and now we have an immortal dog :’  ) 

either that or it just doesn’t affect dogs. time will tell i suppose

anyway this is how albert turned out and i would do anything for him LOOK at this baby boy 

he wanted a butterfly so i solved a bunch of very strange puzzles to obtain one for him 

fuCKing hell 

albert you’re not gonna believe this look what i found

FUCK yeah you look great 

i brought him the butterfly and he immediately stabbed it to death but really im more concerned with the fact that it’s BLEEDING RED 

look at him go

i carved a pumpkin mask for him and he loves it 

i hope albert knows i would die for him 

ok anyway uhh its 2 AM as of when im writing this so i should stop but im trying to work out thoughts on what the fuck is going on here so far 

ok so

james married mary and they had three kids

james might have murdered his uncle or something im still not sure why there was a dead guy in the clock at the beginning 

somethin sure happened there

james became fascinated with alchemy and eventually died trying to create an elixir of life. something or someone is trying to do some kind of weird revival ritual with body parts. i highly suspect that might be where mr. owl comes from

its not totally clear what’s going on with albert, he had a mark on his head when he was a baby but im not sure if his face is like that just bc birth mark or if the wasp incident made it worse or something, i feel like it wasnt as visible in the childhood scene but i dont remember now 

he wanted the butterfly when he was a kid too but it wasnt clear if he liked it or wanted to kill it then too. not sure if the wasp incident Changed Him/was the start of lifelong rivalry with samuel, or if albert’s just mentally ill and that was just One More Incident with his siblings bullying him, or maybe a combination of both

emma grows up to be a botanist but commits suicide for reasons unknown

there was a really weird disjointed flashback on emma’s side of the tree where albert kind of inadvertently dumped a kid into a well (he was... spinning the crank thing mayb stimming or something, the player makes the swing go too far to make the kid land there in the first place so idk if thats just The Hand Of Fate or what, but albert didnt technically do it he just was the reason he lost grip on the. thing where the rope goes/he didnt help the kid) (but again he’s. not mentally well, i think it was ‘he didnt understand what was going on’ more than ‘he committed a possible murder’) so idk if maybe that was emma’s kid?? she also may have been impregnated by plants. dont know what the fuck that was about either 

samuel marries a fortune teller named ida (and has more kids i think. i wasnt paying close enough attention to the photo on the wall) who albert also loves but she seems to think of him as the devil and has visions about him i think

it looks like albert loses it and puts some kind of curse on samuel possibly black magic/voodoo/something which MAY have turned him into mr. crow, which, fucked up if true 

but im hesitant to accept “albert’s just Fucked Up And Evil” bc... the wine bottle seems to imply he was not treated well as a baby/possibly abused, samuel knocked a wasp nest onto his head which isn’t massively outside the realm of like. sibling rivalry stuff (my brother once smacked me in the head with a snowglobe so hard i had to be rushed to the doctor when he was rly little/i was younger and we’re Completely Fine now lmao) but maybe fucked him up worse than they realized 

and the whole thing with ida, too. theres no detail given but it definitely seems like samuel is the favorite child and albert is the “we don’t talk about that one” child so its like. years of abuse/unequal treatment/etc and we dont necessarily know how samuel’s treated him all these years or if there could’ve been more/worse things going on 

i dont know!! i like him and i want him to get help and not just be condemned as the family demon just bc he spooky 

[morinokunikara]

👀☁️💕👑🌗📚💎🔪🏡🏞️🥀🌼💐🦋🍂☕🍼🕊️❤️🔥❄️🌙☀️🌟 (for Kokoro

 swputting this one under a readmore

🌟 When your OC loses all hope, who do they turn to first? What helps make them feel better? What calms them down and reassures them? Why?

yuuki. she trusts him more than anyone else. usually doing exercise will help her mood, she just loves the feeling of a good workout so much and it provides a good distraction. also sometimes just seeing yuuki smile. she loves him and she knows hes been through so much and honestly his happiness means more to her than her own.

☀️ What makes your OC genuinely happy? A person, an item, their hobby? Where is the place they’re happiest, or most at home? What is the happiest they’ve ever been?

yuuki makes her more happy than anything else, although her clubs and friends in them do as well. winning games or a really good performance in a play will always bring a big huge smile to her face. she feels more at home in her clubs than at home, because most the time she cant get in a word with yuuki bc her parents are hogging her. 

happiest she ever was was when her family went to destinyland and they let her and yuuki walk alone together. they got some real bonding time, riding rides and getting dinner together, and then watching one of the fireworks shows. its the most time she ever got to spend with him without their parents getting in the way and she treasures it forever. 

🌙 If your OC could have one wish come true what would it be and why? Would there be consequences to this wish or would they regret it once they get what they want? What would they give in return for this wish to come true?

for her parents to pay attention to yuuki more, or just really. him being more loved in general. theres pretty much nothing that would make her regret it, and nothing she wouldn’t pay. she cares about him so so much and would give everything if it meant he was happy

❄️ What makes your OC sad, so sad that they can’t help but cry all day? How do they cheer themself up? Does their sadness upset any of their loved ones too?

any kind of failure, feeling like shes hated, hell sometimes just her parents praising her too much because she just gets so overwhelmed, and it makes her think too much about how ignored her brother is all the time. she usually goes out and practices her soccer or whatever show shes doing for theatre. she hides her sadness pretty well, but any of her family would be upset by knowing she’s sad (hence why she hides it)

🔥 If your OC known for having temper tantrums? If not, what gets them really angry? What makes their blood BOIL? Is there anyway to calm them down or are they unstoppable? What are they like when they’re angry? Do they take it out on their loved ones?

not at all. shes very patient and can put up with a LOT, but she will snap if someone is too mean to yuuki. i feel like she would eventually snap at her parents but she really tries as hard as she can not to bc she worries itll make things worse. bc shes so patient, when shes angry she gets so angry it can take awhile to calm her down

❤️ What would your OC’s ideal lover be like? Appearnce, personality, voice? Would their family approve or would it be civil war?

her one requirement is “respect me and my family.” shes not picky, but she does like athletic/buff types a bit more. 

🕊️ Would your OC ever get married or are they already wed? If they’re married, describe what their wedding was like! If not, describe their ideal wedding (or do this if you feel like it anyway!)

she has this big fancy idea of a dream wedding at destinyland, with a theme centered around classic romantic plays. 

🍼 Does your OC have any children or want children? What names would they pick? Are they good with kids or a complete disaster?

she does want kids, and she plans to name them all after extended family. with her strong value towards family and disappointment in her own parents, one of her biggest dreams is to raise a family with someone

☕ Give us one (or more if you feel like it) of your OCs deep dark secrets! Why do they keep it hidden? Spill the tea!

shes actually kind of miserable emotionally. she  it all up until she’s on her own, and then she just completely breaks down in her room. she’s had to lock herself in the restroom in public a few times bc one small thing will happen and it’ll just be the straw the breaks the camel’s back

🍂 What are their opinions on the different seasons? Which one do they hate and which one do they love and why?

she HATES summer but loves spring. its too hot in the summer to work out as much as she’d like. she doesn’t like winter much for the opposite reason of it being too cold, and is kind of neutral on fall. she thinks spring is prettier.

🦋 If your OC could change everything (or just something) about their life would they? What would they change? What do they think would happen if they did? What would their loved ones think?

oh yeah she’d def change a lot. give herself better parents that pay attention to their children equally, make herself less talented, anything that’ll get her less attention and yuuki more attention

💐 Does your OC like flowers? What are their favourites? Do they keep a garden of some sort? What flowers would they use in a flower crown? (and if you like, research the meanings behind those flowers!)

she loves flowers!!! her and yuuki have a garden together in their backyard... her crown would be azaleas (patience), hydrangeas (pride),  and spider lilies (sweet)

🌼 Write a short drabble from your OCs POV meeting their LI (or if they don’t have a love interest, their best friend. If you don’t want to do a drabble, describe their first meeting instead!)

(dont have the brain power for a drabble rn but) im 90% sure itd start with her accidentally kicking a soccer ball in someone’s face and then being like “oh fuck theyre cute”

🥀 Has your OC ever been hurt by someone they love? Ever been betrayed? Abused? Attacked? Give me the angst! (if you’d like, write a short drabble about it!)

not physically, but she got really hurt by yuuki once because of a misunderstanding. she talked about wanting to play volleyball at shujin and yuuki panicked because oh god know i cant let him get to her i have to protect her and she took him objecting to it as him being jealous and they got in a huge argument over it. she was so upset that, in her mind, yuuki was so bitter and jealous he wouldnt let her follow her dreams

🏞️ If your OC could travel to anywhere in their world where would they go? Why? If they could live there would they?

brazil!!! she’s heard a lot about amazing brazilian soccer players and wants to see it for herself. she would never want to live there though, or really anywhere outside of tokyo 

🏡 Describe your OCs ideal house! Give us a tour around! What’s their garden like? Their bedroom? Kitchen? Where is it and how many people live there?

a moderately-sized house for a small family of four, like the one she lives in. it’s decorated with the achievements of her family (trophies, art, etc). a kitchen big enough for the family to cook together, and a fancy dining room. lots of family photos on the walls and any available surface, and a family garden in the backyard. 

🔪 Has your OC ever killed someone? Ever had to defend themselves against violence? How did this make them feel? Or, alternatively, has your OC ever attacked someone? Seen someone die?

shes never been through any of that fortunately 

💎 Does your OC collect anything? Is there a reason? When did they start and is it beginning to turn into a little bit of a hoarding issue? What do they do with their collection?

she collects playbills and a few different sports trading cards!! the playbills started when she saw her first play at 5, and the trading cards at 8. she has several large folders for her cards and a big huge box for her playbills

📚 If your OC was given some kind of forbiddon knowledge, what would they do with it? Would they tell anyone? Use it for evil or good? How would it change their outlook on life, if at all?

shed keep it super super super secret... would do everything in her power not to use it at all, but if she did she’d use it for good. 

🌗 Early mornings or late nights? What do they spend their time doing during these hours?

early mornings!!! she goes for a short jog every morning before school, and then helps her dad with breakfast and sometimes drags yuuki out of bed if he oversleeps 

👑 If your OC was made royal (or is royal) how would they use their power? Are they a good leader or bad? Do their subjects like them or is it ‘off with their head’? Do they enjoy being royal?

shed be a very kind ruler, and try to listen to and solve all the problems she possibly could. so ofc shes very very loved. she doesnt like it though. she doesnt like having that much power, she feels its unfair. 

💕 How is your OC like with physical affection? What are their boundries? Do they enjoy being touched or is that a no-go? Is there any reason behind this?

she loves to cuddle with people, physical affection is one of her main love languages. she hugs yuuki every time he walks through the door. she doesnt want much beyond that though, at least at her age 

☁️ What’s something your OC wishes they could forget? Why is this? Or, what is something that your OC has forgotten? (or do both!)

she wants to forget her biggest screw up in her mind- when she was so nervous for a play (her biggest role at that point), when she got onstage she panicked and totally forgot her lines and just. completely froze. 

👀 Describe your OC through the eyes of another person! (bonus + specify who)

ofc i gotta do yuuki 

she’s an adorable and caring little sister he loves so much. he’s a bit jealous of her, but he doesnt blame her for anything. he just wishes he could be as good and loved as she is. 

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. theres so much unrealistic stuff in LO but rachel is a fool if she thinks people would totally be ok with hades wanting to be with a 19/20 year old who acts like a child. yes i am aware relationships can happen at any age (BETWEEN ADULTS) but theres a lot of legitimate reasons why people are disgusted by huge age gaps, and LO just makes it worse by emphasizing how childish and immature persephone is compared to hades yet all of three people in comic approve of it? what world is RS living in?

2. At anon 2 from the recent bunch of critiques, I had to chuckle at your keen eye! Honestly, Artemis' "dress" is just a slightly oversized shirt for her, since it barely covers Persephone's bits.

3. you know the "my wife" slip would actually be kinda cute if they had bee secretly dating for months/years and he just gott too excited over the future, as opposed to only knowing she's existed for all of a month at most, their first kiss being under un-romantic circumstances, not even going on a single date, and their marriage possibly only happening not out of love, but rather to keep persephone out of jail. what could be a cute slip is instead super creepy and possessive in the actual context.

4. lets be real here, rachel learning greek doesnt mean shit. she can be fluent in it and it wouldn matter when her whole MO is taking greek stories and culture to make it an american knock off. its like her claiming to be so well researched on myth, it doesnt matter when she just makes up whatever she wants anyway. she could use that time to actually making the comic good instead of trying to market herself as the next Madeline Miller (who actually has the credentials and none of rachel's ego)

5. im sorry, im greek and i dont want more greek stuff in lo. she cant even keep the actual myth or basic relationships in line, her adding random lines in greek wont do anything besides make herself and her fans feel like she now has more claim over a mythology she's already messed up beyond belief and constantly insults us with with her entitlement and bad attitude. she does not seem to love or respect our myths or culture, and learning our language (if she actually tries) will not change that.

6. i always see it as a bad sign when the only way to even try and make sense of a piece of work is the author(s) having to fill in the gaps via tweets, so the fact rachel has to constantly clear up confusion and try and fill in plot holes or just add stuff we never see in comic via her twitter is bad?? like she already drags it out so much and most readers arent going on her social medias, so why not just put this actual info and work into the actual comic? i dont understand that mentality at all.

7. IDK if this is just the issue of the romance genre itself, but it's bad writing that Persephone is only really defined in importance via Hades only. Her status and power in only being his wife. Her fertility powers are not defined in what it brings to her, just in how it can be useful to Hades (like his want for heirs). Even the comparison to Hera is not in that it shows she's queen material, but that she reminds Hades of the woman he wanted first and she won't reject him like Hera did.

8. i think lo fans just range too privileged to realize how bad the LGBTQ+, class system, and POC rep actually is. It's not a big win that Psyche is a WoC when she was introduced with non-black features, she's illiterate, and had her story was taken from her to focus on Eros, it's not a win that nymphs are low class who oppress the rich and are hated unless they're a "good one" (echo, daphne) to defend the rich, and its not a win the only LGBTQ+ rep is between two asexuals who just "got over it".

9. rachel would rather attempt to learn a new language (she literally can just ask a greek to translate lines for her also webtoons literally have translators on staff already) than use that time to make character sheets or double check her work for spelling errors. like she constantly always picks the dumbest ways to waste her time that she thinks will improve the comic than the stuff she could actually do (like fix the writing and art) like??? hello??? ma'am???

10. yeah im also confused bc the AOW happened but persephone doesnt actually seem to care. like she snapped bc the nymphs died, but she doesnt even tell us their names or mourn them, and her trying to pay for the dead mortals was not out of the goodness of her heart, and that was dropped for her to party and make out with hades. i love morally complex characters, but LO persephone isn't that, she's a spoiled child who cries she's the real victim as she gets away with figurative and literal murder.

[nightfayre]

hi im the anon ! i dont remember what i said >

and I’m alarmed by the fandom mentality. Maybe HT means good - but how would we know? we don’t have access to his thoughts - but we must judge his actions, and his actions are for the least very troubling. It’s always abt coercing Mo and not respecting his boundaries. I see the trope “when she says no, she means yes” here and once again, the fact the fandom swallows it uncritically (bc HT is a poor, hot tortured boy) is alarming. Forcing Mo to wear his gift stinks of “this is my possession, don’t mess wt him” 2/5

Maybe im pessimistic n its actually to protect him by distance, but once again he totally disregards Mo’s will. What if he doesnt want to be protected ? what if he doesnt want to be an object to be pass around between self-entitled psychos ? The first step to protect and help someone is by listening to them. I hope Mo will react strongly and will tell HT that by saying this, he’s no different from She Li. And i hope that would provoke HT to self-reflect a lot - smth he lacks tremendously. 3/5

That being said i love HT and tianshan! And what i love is how realistic and flawed they are. Theyre both hyper violent, distrustful, and severly lacking in communication skills. Im thrilled to see how theyre going to evolve -for the better or the worse, both is good for me. But i’m very disappointed by the fandom reaction like “ooh how cute hes possessive it means love!” or “actually its not bad doing HT doing that bc his intentions are good”. 4/5

And I will be vry, vry disappointed if OX decides to follow this trend and to not show how this kind of actions is detrimental to their reliationship and use the tired and dangerous trope of “being violent means that you care”. I trust them to be more nuanced than that bc until now they are great at drawing grey relationship. So yea i hope next chapter, tianshan plunges (before being better). Anw sry for the rant, and plz continue the good work !! 5/5

phew. there’s a lot to unpack here – but I agree wholeheartedly with you. since this post is already kinda long, I will put my answer/explanation under the cut!

the parts that I bolded in your asks are what I intend to focus on in this answer. strap in, because this is going to be a long one. 

before anything, let me put a disclaimer: I love He Tian. I love Guan Shan. I love Old Xian. I love tianshan, and I love where they are headed in the manhua. does that mean I also love where tianshan are right now? no, it doesn’t. and I’m here to explain why I look forward to their potential rather than their current relationship’s dynamics.  

one of the hardest parts about being in a fandom is being able to separate fiction, reality, and morality. this is especially hard when a fandom is as old and endearing as 19 Days, and when you fall in love with & are rooting for all the characters. furthermore, 19 Days is not a tragedy. of course, when Jian Yi disappears, it will be tragic. but otherwise the majority of the manhua is a comical, romantic slice-of-life plot. as such, it’s easier for what would usually be seen as blaring issues/problems in tragedies to be disregarded for comedy or, in some cases, romance in a comedic, romantic slice-of-life. 

this is exactly the case with tianshan. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: He Tian’s current relationship with Guan Shan is not healthy. he doesn’t listen to Guan Shan. he doesn’t respect his personal space. he doesn’t know where to draw the line. he doesn’t know how to properly communicate with him, and thus resorts to violence or threats. tianshan just have a problem with communication. and, sure, maybe it can be chalked up to the fact that they’re young and stressed and don’t know any better. but that excuse is almost as bad as the “boys will be boys” excuse, and that doesn’t make it any better nor does it justify their actions. 

He Tian’s idea of relationships is so twisted, and as I talked about in a previous answer, it can probably be stemmed back to his trauma with the puppy Cheng took away from him. I won’t get too deep into that since I explained it in detail in that answer, but keep this in mind nonetheless: He Tian grew up in a family of violence, distance, miscommunication, and lies. it’s all he’s ever known, and that’s what he’s applying to his relationship with Guan Shan. does that make it right? no, absolutely not. but he’s learning. 

when Guan Shan had a panic attack at the restaurant, He Tian learned that people aren’t robots/pawns to use at his disposal and rather have their own strong emotions/backgrounds that shape them. thus, he brought Guan Shan home without a word. when he had his night terror and woke up to Guan Shan holding his hands, He Tian realized that there are parts of Guan Shan he still doesn’t know and, potentially, an aspect of their relationship that they’ve only started to uncover. thus, he thanked him without preamble and with a bowed head. 

what I’m trying to say is that He Tian does have good intentions at times, but not always. he’s learning as he goes, because god knows he didn’t have a family to teach him how healthy relationships should be. there probably is a part of He Tian that only wants to protect Guan Shan against She Li, but he certainly doesn’t show it in the right way. he acts possessive because he knows that if he doesn’t, he’ll lose what he loves (*insert flashback to the puppy*). again, does that make it right? hell no. jealousy and possessiveness are not cute and are entirely unhealthy in a relationship. the fandom should view them as such, but should also keep an open mind when considering He Tian’s background. 

and honestly, the reason why I’m focusing so much on He Tian right now rather than Guan Shan is because if it were up to Guan Shan, he would’ve dropped He Tian within the first few days (maybe even hours) of meeting him. but because of He Tian’s persistence, Guan Shan has no choice but to be involved with him and retaliate when He Tian verbally/physically/emotionally attacks him. nonetheless, Guan Shan has tried to walk away from He Tian on multiple occasions when He Tian’s teasing became too much, and on those occasions, He Tian has given in. (ex. I can’t find the exact chapter, but there is a chapter in which Guan Shan refuses to use He Tian’s fork to eat He Tian’s leftovers, and he gets up and says, “I’m going home,” to which He Tian replies, “Fine, fine, I’ll buy you new food.”)

so yes – tianshan certainly have flaws. He Tian holds too much power, and Guan Shan can’t catch a break. the fandom romanticizes their interactions, but if you take a moment to think realistically and recognize that character flaws are essentially bad but also critical for character development, then there is an even balance in the readers’ relationship with the manhua. don’t support He Tian’s violent interactions with Guan Shan and claim “omg He Tian loves Guan Shan sooooo much when he forces Guan Shan to do XYZ,” but rather support the fact that he hasn’t physically manhandled/harmed Guan Shan in many chapters. support and celebrate He Tian’s development, not his flaws. 

and as for what you said about Guan Shan telling He Tian that he’s “no better than She Li”? while I don’t think He Tian is truly as bad as She Li, I actually think that would be a painful, great, and pivotal moment in their relationship. after all, the most consequential scene in tianshan’s relationship thus far has been the kiss. at that moment, Guan Shan had told He Tian outright that he disgusted him and to leave him alone. since then, I don’t think He Tian has ever looked so… taken aback. unsettled. 

and guess what? their relationship has only gotten better since then, and He Tian hasn’t touched him like that again. 

I don’t know, anon. it’s a tough call. I think tianshan have a lot more chapters ahead of them, and I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on bad terms. actually, I don’t think Old Xian will allow them to end on the terms that they’re on right now. they can only improve from here on out, but how Old Xian will go about showing that improvement is unknown to us. there are many paths this story can take, but rather than worrying about what might happen, let’s focus on the here and now. let’s focus on the problems at hand, and let’s focus on the development the characters are undergoing. 

don’t ignore the wrongness/cruelty of characters’ actions, but don’t romanticize them either. if you do, you’re only doing a disservice to the character’s personality, existence, and the author’s intentions.

(and as for this newest chapter specifically: I see why people can get excited about He Tian telling Guan Shan to wear the earrings. He Tian wants to verify to both himself and She Li that Guan Shan is with him now. that Guan Shan is no longer under She Li’s control. who doesn’t love a little verification of their OTP’s relationship, especially when it involves an enemy?

but at the same time, it’s unhealthy. Guan Shan doesn’t have a say. he’s being handed around like an object. I don’t think this is pessimistic thinking; I think it’s the truth that no one wants to acknowledge/hear. but I’m not saying that tianshan is wrong in this chapter; I’m saying that He Tian has good intentions, but he’s not showing them correctly. and there will be a chapter in which he does show them correctly, but we must travel this rocky road before we get to that point. patience is key, and I cannot wait until He Tian and Guan Shan reach that moment of clarity. you can’t have light without the dark.)

[gabsgibs]

okay, so get this… I was in Newport the other weekend and ran into GABRIELLA GIBSON! They seriously look exactly like DOVE CAMERON, except a little less SELFISH and DESPERATE and a little more STRONG WILLED and CREATIVE. It makes sense why everyone calls her THE SYCOPHANT.

hey guys, i’m leigh and wowow i am SO excited for this group ?? first of all, i love gossip girl ( and confession time: i havent finished the oc yet, i’ve been watching it on and off for like 2 years now tho ) but jenny humphrey is the absolute love of my life ( her haters can fight me ) so i HAD to play the sycophant. but ok some things about gabby

so her dad is still a washed up rockstar from the 90s (but late 90s instead of early 90s) and her mom left them the summer before jenny started high school,, but unlike in the show,, gabby never went to live with her. it’s kinda like she might see her once or twice a year around the holidays,, but that’s about it

bc of this,, she does have some unaddressed abandonment issues

and the fact that she’s been rejected time and time again while trying to fit in has kinda only made them worse

which is why she basically gave up on all of that,, she was like it’s just not working i try and try and every time my life gets totally ruined

so gabby found another group to hang out with in hopes she’d finally fit in and that’s how she’s gotten started with dealing

bc it’s kinda like this is not good,, but at least im accepted here ?? 

tho she lowkey would still love to be accepted by everyone else,, she tries to play it off like she doesn’t care anymore,, but if they gave her the opportunity,, she’d be back in the fight for the crown

okok so she’s also still v v into fashion, but it’s kinda taking a back burner in her life right now ?? like that was kinda part of her downfall,, so even tho she still designs,, it’s not as much as she used to

plus one of the reasons she got into design to begin w was to make clothes that she thought would help her fit in

and now even tho her fam still doesn’t have as much as most others in newport, she makes good money by dealing and is able to afford more designer stuff than before ( tho she’s obvs still defs not anywhere close to being where everyone else is,, she’s just better at faking it now )

she’s pretty insecure,, but she masks it with overconfidence and acting like she doesn’t care,, bc caring is what got her into all of her messes so now she’s just like lol idc ( but she does shh ) 

she also has a problem with feeling unsupported ?? like her brother and dad just brush off her issues or her dad usually grounds her ( that’s another thing,, she’s basically never not grounded ?? then she sneaks out and get grounded for even longer ?? ) and she doesnt have her mom to run to to talk and try to work through her problems

so she just kinda has to deal with them the best that she can ?? which is not v good at alll

and since everything happened last year with thomas ?? wow she’s gotten so much worse

she feels so much guilt about what happened since it was her argument with her brother that caused him to get hit,, and she replays his death in her head a lot

and that’s another reason she’s really gotten even more into dealing is bc it takes her mind off of things ?? plus sometimes she’s able to sneak some pills to help her stay up at night,, bc every time she falls asleep,, she has nightmares about the incident,, it makes her feel sick to her stomach

okok i think that’s the important stuff. so like this or message me to plot ?? or expand on preexisting plots

[spellcastersjudgement]

Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c

THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero 

also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done 

who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon 

who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin 

what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later 

what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors 

who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol 

what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd 

who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were) 

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics) 

who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That

who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That 

who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much 

thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol 

[botanyshitposts]

Re: corn bybrids, I thought developing a monoculture was quite...dangerous, having a vast amount of food production depending on something never coming along which might evolve to attack a single genetic variety... like the way it went with bananas... and might be going again with bananas... Isn't genetic diversity kind of the key component of robustness in the ongoing evolution race between plant and pest?

okay, so first of all: damage in the maize industry due to a large amount of the same seed variety being used has happened before because of the thing that anon is talking about, way back in the gap between the 50s and the 70s when we didn’t know as much about breeding things for agri as we do now. 

to understand this bit of maize history, we have to back up here and explain detasseling. the process of detasseling is a HHUUUUUUUGGEE thing in the midwest to the point where its a tradition/coming of age ritual for a lot of rural families. so in large production cornfields (which create mass hybrid seed for farmers), it’s like my job on a huge scale; at this point, corn research facilities (like the one I work at) have chosen the best resulting hybrid varieties from two of their inbred strains and have decided to market it. to do this, they send the seed companies a shit ton of seeds for the inbred parents with the intention of making a super shit ton of hybrid seed for sale. at my work, when the resulting varieties might be openly tossed out at any moment, we hand-pollinate the maize with special bags, but this is impossible with literal thousands of plants on a production line. so what companies do is plant fields separated into parts- part A will be the male inbred line, and part B will be the female inbred line. the intention is to mass-pollinate the female line with the male line. this is done by chopping off all the tassels (the male flower structures on top of the plants) off the plants in the female section, so that the field has no choice but to pollinate the female ears in part B with the male tassels in part A. the plants in part B produce ears of hybrid seed, which can be sold. 

and this is where the bus loads of rural teens come in. detasseling is a notoriously HORRIBLE job, but it also pays well to the point that you can make $1,000 in a few weeks, which attracts farm kids to get up at 4AM to walk through the female sections of fields to individually pull the tassels off each and every female plant. each field has a different arrangement; some are one row male, two rows female, ect, but its all the same concept. in recent decades we’ve developed giant wacking machines that roll through the fields and chop off all the female tassels, but anyone who works with plants knows that when you work with biological organisms, it’s nearly impossible to use a machine to regulate everything the exact same way; every individual is different, which is why to this day every late June to early July corn companies hire farm kids to do this horrible job for a reasonable amount of pay. 

now you may be like, “why can’t they just get rid of the tassels in the genes??” and that’s where we come to our story about the terrible potential of inbred line crossing and mass monocultures when done incorrectly.

in the 1950s, people in corn research facilities found a single corn inbred variety that allowed for male sterility in the inbred line; when crossed, it regained it’s fertility as a hybrid cross. this means that seed corn companies could use a fertile male inbred line and this specific infertile line as their female, and during production wouldn’t need to hire detasselers. the resulting corn would be perfectly fertile to use by farmers in the field for the production of grain. 

the result of this was people using a shit ton of this female line. like. in everything. like by the mid 1960s almost all seed corn was produced with this gene so corn companies could save money. 

and this is where we reach the total nightmare scenario that i still kind of geek out about because it’s such a nightmare scenario like how could you create a monoculture like this when this is like. a textbook potential result of reducing genetic diversity?????:

in 1971, we had a huge outbreak of fungus southern corn leaf blight. it just so happened that the male infertile inbred line being used as a female in like 500000000 hybrid corn varieties was very susceptible to fungus southern corn leaf blight. and the hybrid corn that was developed from it- which at this point made up 90% of all hybrid corn being grown in the United States- was also susceptible to it. 

we lost 15% of the entire USA’s maize crop in 1971 because corn companies wanted to save money and didn’t have the tech to increase genetic diversity in their inbred lines. also this is just the USA, like this is a quote from the abstract of this emergency white paper on the epidemic discussing the nightmare scenario looming over the susceptible crop in 1970-1971 canada when it crept up from the corn belt (canada ended up not suffering as badly as the US, and that paper is really interesting and anxiety-inducing to read if your interested in plant pathology btw):

75% like could you even imagine. if this was worse than it was canada alone could have lost 75% of its entire maize crop. like i cannot believe this literally happened like you would think???? that they would be like o shit we have a lot of that corn like we should prob not do that incase something was to happen???? but they didnt they really. just did it lol

anyway so the resolution to that story is that of course farmers were like wow i sure dont want to lose my livelihood to my entire crop failing and immediately stopped buying hybrids with the susceptible inbred line. it literally fell out of use in like three years and we went back to manual detasseling even though the scientists in the 80s were like “hey we fixed it” and tried putting a leaf blight resistant male infertile inbred line back on the market for crossing but no one would touch that shit lol

and thats the story of how detasseling almost stopped for like 30 years until the US maize market took a major hit as the result of companies cutting corners and then came back and is still a thing that happens every year. today, we do use the male infertile inbred lines, but not even close to in the same capacity as we did in the 60s. it’s used today in conjunction with manual detasseling and machine detasseling to reduce costs. 

so anyway, i asked the corn breeders at work about how they prevent this nightmare from happening again, and they told me a couple things:

1. theres just. so many corn varieties out there now that are used. like to give some ideas as far of the sheer scale: at my facility alone, we have around 40 male inbred lines and 40 female inbred lines. every facility has this many. there are hundreds of facilities and they all mix and match inbreds. thats just my company 

2. they have hundreds of breeding programs that all strive for different things and seek out new maize varieties to keep the gene pool fresh. 

3. just like with all other things that aren’t industry and lifestyle changing (coughthatonesingularmaleinfertilefamaleinbredlinecough), things fall in and out of style. like it feels like a weird thing bc its corn but seriously, its a thing that happens in breeding because what the farmers want in their corn is always changing; they gave an example of a particularly popular variety my company had in the 90s that was the big thing for a few years. after those few years where it was like super popular (they spoke of it by numerical code and did so very fondly lol it was like two of them and they were like “aaahhhh 4919992 do u remember that one.....man what a stunner”) the farmers noticed some problems with it, got tired of it, and started buying better stuff. things fall in and out of popularity. 

4. we have the power of GMOs on our side. that means that if they have a gene in one plant thats super cool and powerful but the plant itself if lacking, they can just take it out and put it in a better, more resistant plant, and if that doesnt work they can just keep trying, or try with a better gene or trait. if the detasseling thing had happened today instead of the 1950s, they could have taken the gene out and put it in several different, more genetically diverse inbred lines, causing a little more variety than using the exact. same. females. for everything. bc thats so smart. 

basically?? we have a ton of corn. a lot of corn. just so much corn. u want tall corn?? u can choose between 6000000000 tall corn lines or perhaps u would like some mid-sized corn????? could i interest u in some corn from england??????? or japan???? or corn resistant to your particular climate or tailored to your needs???????????? please choose your corn company (there are like 500000 and they all have their own inbred lines) and then choose ur fave and change it out from year to year???????? we just got in 500000 new inbred varieties and got rid of 50000?????? its in the industry’s favor financially to keep developing new stuff, new traits, new inbreds, and new hybrids. genetic diversity is key to keeping up with new threats, and as of 2017 we’re certainly not using the same females for everything anymore. bananas are another story tho lol