#and towards the end everyone was becoming happy with their condition and even willingly getting infected by the parasites

[literaryvein-reblogs]

do you have any tips on how to write for a quiet character living a comfortable life abruptly being forced to adapt to a rowdy and somewhat violent environment?

Writing Ideas: Quiet Characters

common literary & character tropes

Beware the Quiet Ones: When the character who is hardly ever upset about something, suddenly raises their voice, the world turns upside down and seems to come to an end. There is an unleashed raging or cold speech of epic proportions that not even the most demented character in the story would want to sit through. This rage is almost always expressed verbally, though violence can also be included. Another version could be when the heroes' team is in low spirits, and The Quiet One, fed up with all the sulking, throws the table (or something else) to the side and gives a Rousing Speech to their comrades.

Elective Mute: It turns out that a character assumed to be unable to talk actually can speak, they just choose to be silent most of the time.

Emotionless Girl: An enigmatic female character who appears to be entirely emotionless. Whether she actually is emotionless depends on the story and often on her level of characterization.

Heroic Mime: A hero who never speaks.

Silent Scapegoat: Somebody who willingly takes the blame for everyone else's wrongdoings.

Suddenly Speaking: A character who was initially silent eventually reveals that they can speak after all.

The Quiet One: A character who does speak, but not as much as the other characters.

The Stoic: Quiet demeanor tends towards the brusque or outright rudeness, though there are a few polite Stoics. Some stoics may try to give the impression of a lot going on inside, cultivate an air of mystery and confuse other characters with cryptic one-liners. The Stoic sometimes displays emotion when under extreme stress or in other highly emotional situations, but their usual repertoire consists of mild boredom, detached interest, Dull Surprise or dignified disdain. The Stoics in ancient Greece were philosophers who believed that self-control is the highest virtue, and detachment from strong emotions and passion would give them greater insight in their quest for truth. They also thought that emotional reactions to the inevitable were silly; given that We All Die Someday, what is grieving over death but a judgment that the inevitable was somehow wrong? Stoics would later be criticized for fatalism and apathy.

The Voiceless: A character isn't shown speaking, but might still be capable of speech.

Tranquil Fury: This character can range from happy or stoic, but their anger is more quiet (but still dangerous). What defines this trope is the tendency to become deadly serious when it gets deadly serious.

Examples

In the story "The Six Swans", collected by the Grimm Brothers and Hans Christian Andersen among others, a Fallen Princess must make six shirts out of nettles and can't make a sound for seven years or the spell that transformed her six brothers into swans will never be broken. She manages to keep all of these conditions and gets to break the spell. This is an example of the Elective Mute trope.

Peter in Jumanji, who talks to no one but his older sister Judy ever since their parents' death by car accident. Once Alan gets out of the game and finds his parents are also dead, Peter starts talking to him as well.

Charles Wallace was an Elective Mute trope a child in A Wrinkle in Time. By the time of the later books, he has grown out of it.

Irish Mythology: The battle trance Nuada enters before the first battle of Maige Tuired is sometimes described as a battle fury. However, unlike The Riastrad, the famous "Warp Spasm" of the hero Cu Chulainn, Nuada does not become a berserker, but instead becomes exceptionally calm. This is an example of the Tranquil Fury trope.

Older Than Steam. Shakespeare's Henry V has the eponymous character's Tranquil Fury reaction to the tennis balls.

Dead Poets Society: The shy and insecure Todd Anderson spends most of the film struggling to get out two full sentences and is overlooked by the school and his parents. After his best friend kills himself, the school tries to bully him (and the other boys) into pinning the blame on their favorite teacher — and he leads half the class in an outright rebellion against the headmaster.

Don Vito Corleone from The Godfather is famously very soft-spoken, even hoarse, but an extremely menacing screen presence.

In the original novel The Godfather, both Vito and Michael Corleone were noted as young men for being soft-spoken, understated, and reasonable, especially in contrast to many of their Sicilian immigrant and first-generation compatriots. They go on to become in turn the most feared "Family" heads of their generations, while still rarely raising their voices above a normal speaking tone.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

This is already quite a specific character, and it seems you have a rough idea of your storyline. I don't want to intrude too much on your story, so I compiled tropes and examples in literature as well as other media that are somewhat related to what you described, and you could perhaps incorporate these (& edit as needed/desired) to further flesh out your specific character and plot. Consider which direction you want your story to go; what reactions you want your own character to show once they're thrust into that new environment (Will they continue to be quiet? Will they go the other end of the spectrum? Perhaps somewhere in between? Will they succeed in "adapting" in this new environment?). Do go through the sources for more information and examples. Plus these previous posts that may be useful as well:

On Shyness ⚜ On Mutism ⚜ On Introverts

Word Alternatives: Quiet ⚜ Five-Factor Model of Personality

[song-of-the-swans]

Natalia did nothing wrong.

I recently reread Bronze no Tenshi and oh my God I love Georges D’Anthès with all my heart - as if I already didn’t love him enough when I first read this manga. He’s so respectful, he’s ready to sacrifice everything for Natalia and he understands a woman’s struggles. 

I don’t despise Pushkin in Bronze no Tenshi as it often happens to me with the other “love rival” of Saito’s stories, sometimes I pity him, but I also think a lot of people overlook his flaws and mistakes in his relationship and attitude towards Natalia out of their admiration for the figure of the real Pushkin, the poet. On the other hand, I see a lot of blame put on Natalia, when, if you really think about it, Natalia did nothing wrong. Natalia cannot be the usual strong, single-minded, fierce woman that Saito portrays in her stories: it wouldn’t be realistic and true to the time when the events take place. In my opinion, Natalia was a good person that always sacrificed herself for the people around her, who had for once the chance to do something exclusively for herself when she met the love of her life, D’Anthès. 

I personally am analyzing the events and the characters of the manga as someone who didn’t know Pushkin the first time she read Bronze no Tenshi. I see a girl who grew up in the country, with her relatives advising her not to speak her mind or reveal her true personality to anyone, with a crazy father who traumatized her, with a strict, oppressive mother who forbade her to read books, only ingraining religious concepts in her, and who tried to sell her to the best offerer when she was only 16. Everyone makes her believe her only merit is to be beautiful. When she is 16, she meets Pushkin who feverishly falls in love with her and, moved by his persistence, she develops a crush on him and agrees to marry him. She sees him as an escape from her condition and as a chance of independence from her mother. She knows he can treat her right and, in her innocence, she believes that would be enough to make her happy, because she is not interested in love, having never experienced it. Natalia says that love scares her because people in love act irrationally, so she keeps on living a peaceful life with Pushkin fulfilling her duties in the way she was brought up. But she doesn’t know love and... she’s never truly happy or satisfied. Then D’Anthès arrives in Russia. In a certain sense, he’s someone used to be treated as an object of desire by the others just like Natalia. When he sees her the first time, he finds her beautiful just like every other man, but he doesn’t try to pursue her, nor is he interested in her. When Natalia tries to get close to him for her sister’s sake, he misunderstands her at first because he thinks she’s just treating him like the other women. Then their interactions increase and they find each other insufferable. They bicker, because D’Anthès doesn’t idealize her. People do nothing but point out Natalia’s beauty to the point of exhaustion, but D’Anthès actually treats Natalia as his equal - even recognizing how it must be tiring to be always told the same compliment over and over - and more importantly as a woman. And during their arguments, Natalia’s personality comes out to her own surprise, the personality that we only saw at the beginning of the story when she’s alone with her sisters and that she was told to suppress. She gets emotional and worked up. He gets a reaction out of her.  They get to know each other as two people of the same age. He advises her. He protects her. He starts to understand her and he realizes she’s genuine and naive, that she doesn’t scheme, that she doesn’t do things for her own good, that she doesn’t want to hurt others and that she has no experience of life… and love. And they fall in love madly, to the point they will sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of seeing the other safe and at peace, since there’s not a place on the earth where they could possibly be allowed to be together. Anna Karenina is quite an example. Their only option was to flee abroad but that would’ve meant for Natalia not to see her family and children anymore. Leaving aside that I wouldn’t even have blamed Natalia for abandoning a whole brood of children that were literally put into her as if her body didn’t belong to her, D’Anthès understands that for her. When the day comes, he decides that he has to be stronger for her sake, because even if Natalia was willing to leave, she could’ve blamed herself all her life and died out of guilt. Ironically, D’Anthès has understood and known Natalia more during their illicit affair of stolen glances, confessions that lasted the time of a dance and secrete meetings, than her husband, who’s lived with her for years, ever did. Natalia always thought about the others. She first sacrificed herself for the sake of her family when they wanted her to get married. She restlessly gave her husband children he put in her one after the other without even letting her recover from the previous pregnancy, without ever objecting. After her marriage, she took her older sisters in her house to allow them to live a happier, social life in town and she escorted them at balls to chaperone them even when she was pregnant and had to take care of her body. She started to interact with D’Anthès to introduce him to her older sister who had a crush on him. She never wanted to hurt her admirers, even those who were pestering her. When she finally meets the love of her life, she fights back her feelings as much as she can and even avoids to be intimate with him because “her body doesn’t belong to her”. The moment she’s about to flee with him and make love to him, she physically stops herself because “she was about to be happy” in such a dramatic situation and “that is unforgivable”. Natalia is not even free to put an end to her life, because she has obligations, she’s leaving a family behind. So when she thinks D’Anthès doesn’t love her anymore when he sends her back home, she also knows she has to keep on living. And, in the end, we know her biggest sacrifice was to give up for good to the only person she ever loved for the sake of her children, her husband, her relatives and for social pressure… but even that is not enough for her husband.

Nevertheless, readers still blame her, just like Natalia blames herself for having fallen in love, just like she guilt trips herself throughout the story when she thinks she’s become someone who only thinks about her own happiness. After Natalia puts an end to her affair for her family, Pushkin decides to duel D’Anthès anyway and die, leaving her not only alone, but also making impossible for her to remarry with her lover decades later and abandoning the children just like Natalia would have done had she fled abroad with D’Anthès. With the only difference that Natalia would have done it to be with the one she loved after having lived a life that didn’t belong to her, whereas Pushkin did it for pride and vanity.

I suppose people blame Natalia because they think that she cannot make up her mind, but the truth is that the characters’ feelings are very clear in Bronze no Tenshi: Natalia doesn’t love her husband romantically and never has. You hear her thoughts, you watch her actions. She repeatedly confirms that she sees Pushkin as a relative and a father figure, even before D’Anthès came in the picture. Natalia didn’t fall out of love because of D’Anthès and D’Anthès didn’t steal her from Pushkin: she simply never loved him and Pushkin knew before and after marrying her. But he does nothing about it, he is happy to have her because she is beautiful and because he idealized her. Sure Pushkin loves his wife, but he doesn’t actually know her. He treats her like a muse, he calls her angel, he acts like a father towards a child, he scolds her, he keeps secrets and financial issues from her and when Natalia begins to show a firmer and more mature personality after she meets D’Anthès, he admits he liked her childish side more. He doesn’t treat her like a woman and an equal like D’Anthès does. If Pushkin had been depicted truer to his real physical appearance and age, I don’t think many people would’ve overlooked his obsession with making Natalia pregnant out of insecurity to “leave his mark on her” because she’s his possession.

When Pushkin got engaged to Natalia, he even promised her mother that he would’ve stepped aside in case Natalia realized one day that her life could’ve been different had she not married him. But he doesn’t. Or let’s say he does, but in an egoistical and manipulative way. Yes, it’s understandable on his part because it’s not easy to give up to the one you love and Russian society didn’t allow divorce. Yes, he doesn’t blame his wife for falling in love and he also waits for Natalia to come back to him...  but he doesn’t realize that Natalia cannot be who he used to think she was through his rose tinted glasses and this to me shows that he’s actually more egoistical in his love than D’Anthès is with Natalia. D’Anthès is ready to be hated by her for the sake of seeing her happy. The moment D’Anthès is close to obtaining happiness and fulfilling his dream to live with her in France, he realizes that Natalia won’t ever have the chance to live with him in a dream, because she has too many things at stake that even love cannot make up for: the price she has to pay for becoming his wife is too high, it would kill her. So he sends her back home and he hurts her, pretending he never loved her in order for her to give up on him more easily. D’Anthès never once tried to force himself physically on Natalia, he never had to be told “stop” twice. He is ready to die for her, to marry someone he doesn’t love to protect her honour. D’Anthès doesn’t want Natalia to break under the burden of having left her family to be with him, Natalia doesn’t want D’Anthès to willingly die in the duel with Pushkin because he can’t live without her. Natalia returns home but becomes an empty shell because she thinks her love hates her, D’Anthès goes mad because everything he did to see her happy turned out to be useless. They aren’t allowed to find peace whether they’re together or not.

When that becomes evident, Natalia will finally do something for herself. She makes love with her lover to say goodbye and to carry that memory forever in her heart, before returning to her husband’s side. But we all know what her husband’s final decision was to put an end to this situation. He dies, D’Anthès leaves Russia forever, Natalia loses her dear husband and her lover. She meets D’Anthès again 15 years later in the same place they became aware of each other, they reminisce about their young days, but they can’t be together this time as well.

Despite her tragic endings, Saito always treats her heroines more kindly than her male character (s). It’s like she protects them. They’re always mentally stronger than their lovers and they are resilient… in a way they are always able to find a happy ending in their misery. Natalia is mentally stronger, she survives, she remarries to protect herself, but, partially because this is based off real events, she also is probably the most miserable heroine portrayed by Saito. In the end she doesn’t find her happy ending, nor does she succeed in anything. She just finds peace of mind that she imposed on herself by sealing her feelings for D’Anthès and grieving her first husband, fulfilling the role society required. And I truly pity her. I honestly don’t know how people can blame her.

[codex-archives-exe]

⧉ The Reciprocity Between Hikigaya and Yukinon Over Time. ⧉

I never really truly paid a lot of attention to this - but Yukinon and Hikigaya actually showed so much affection to each over the time of both the anime and manga adaptations. Here is a bit of a fragmented timeline as to what was given, and what was kept, and how it was used later on (if they were physical gifts) or just key bonding moments. The following are paraphrased and in-depth analyses of key moments that happened throughout the anime and each season.

⧉ VOLUME 3/CHAPTER 4: After the falling out with Yui, Yukinon and Hikigaya go out on a 'mock date' and Hikigaya is able to get a stuffed Pan-san from the crane machine in an underhanded way. Yukinon keeps this in her room as confirmed by SEASON 3, EPISODE 2.

⧉ SEASON 2/EPISODE 9: During the DestinyLand school trip, Yukinon and Hikigaya unknowingly get separated from their usual cohort of friends and then find each other again. They end up going on this ride named similarly to Splash Mountain. Moments before even entering the ride, Hikigaya notices the hesitation and nervousness in Yukinon's eyes and insists they should just leave. Looking out for Yukinon in this instance, knowing how far they are into the line already, Yukinon responds that they should just do it. Hikigaya feels a bit uncomfortable for her sake, as the ride has barely started, and Yukinon grasps the ride bar so early. Hikigaya had noticed this and points it out, she gets embarrassed. Yukinon recalled to the Hikigaya, that her older sister would always do mean things like this to her - like bring her on rides she knew she could not handle. When the ride reaches the moment before the drop. Yukinon grabs part of Hikigaya's sleeve, asks if he could: "save her", one day. Which makes a deep implication about acting on their existing relationship and feelings towards one another as a whole. From this point, it felt like Yukinon really trusted and believed in Hikigaya with her whole heart - but only chose to act on this when no one else could acknowledge it. In SEASON 3, EPISODE 2, it is fully confirmed, hidden behind one of her Pan-san plushies placed in the middle of her bed, that she bought the very photo of this moment - showing that it was a truly special moment to her.

⧉ SEASON 2/EPISODE 10: Hikigaya willingly purchases special computer glasses (PC Glasses) for Yukinon, knowing that she uses her laptop so frequently. It has been implied that once these were given to her, and then Yukinon willingly wears them in front of Isshki, Yui, and Hikigaya - she was hesitant and waited for a compliment for a Hikigaya. Noticeable in many EPs, including moving forward in Season 2, and a lot in Season 3, Yukinon utilizes these whenever she can. Noted, especially in Hikigaya's presence.

⧉ SEASON 2/EPISODE 11: Following the proceedings of the triathlon event, Hikigaya injures himself from trying too hard and exerting too much pressure, resulting in him badly bruising his knee. Hikigaya finds Yukinon resting in the infirmary too because she was disqualified because she got too tired already. Hikigaya gets up and attempts to retrieve medical supplies himself to treat the wound, but Yukinon denies this and says she will do it for him. In the middle of treating his wound, they have a heartfelt conversation, asking about whether or not he was able to get more information on what classes Hayama was planning to attend. When Yukinon finishes, she barely realized how close their faces are to each other - and both of them blush very hard. Hikigaya thanks Yukinon, and then Yukinon graciously responds by saying that she will be able to see Yui and Hikigaya more by staying in similar classes.

⧉ SEASON 3/EPISODE 7: Hikigaya plans to take a break by walking to the plaza of the school and then notices Yukinon going by one of the vending machines and getting something. Hikigaya then acknowledges Yukinon sitting on one of the benches, and notices it is the exact same "Maxis Coffee" he buys. Hikigaya addresses this coincidence, then Yukinon becomes greatly flustered, and then lightly says that it has the 'perfect amount of sweetness'. Yukinon offers the Maxis Coffee to Hikigaya, and is surprised by such a gesture, especially from her. She says that she still has a bit of her break remaining and can just get herself something later. Feeling bad, Hikigaya goes to that same vending machine to get her something - Yukinon attempts to avoid this offer by comparing it to how people need to pay ambulances when they have health insurance. Hikigaya insists, you really do not have to pay for something you are technically guaranteed to be insured by. They sat down, both with the exact same "Maxis Coffee" drink, which is really adorable. After that somewhat embarrassing exchange, they both wonder and willingly check up on one another to each other's surprise. In spite of the bitter separation, they always cared about one another and wanted to know how each of them were. In hindsight, I feel like Yukinon purchased that because she missed being around Hikigaya. Like it was a symbol of him, knowing it was something he got.

⧉ SEASON 3/EPISODE 11:

⧉ Yukinoshita Family Negotiation:

The air seems dry, on one couch, Yukinon's mother and sister sit, as opposed to Yukinon, Hikigaya, and Shizuka on the other side. Yukinon's mother first brings up that there is no reason to hold this sort of negotiation because she sees no value in going through with something like this concerning how much risk there is. Hikigaya responds that the family's involvement is not concerning because he did not come to negotiate with the PTO directly to begin with, he only came to give a simple explanation. Yukinon attempts to question Hikigaya's intentions but then gets ignored, as he believes there is a valid reason to hold an actual joint prom during this time. He states that apparently people were pretty dissatisfied with the last one. In a monologue, Hikigaya expresses that he has been dancing to Haruna's intentions or 'tune' the entire time, and expects Haruna to at least keep pace with what he has to say by the end. Haruna (Yukinon's older sister) then additionally states that everyone, including Yukinon, who ran the last prom said they were happy with everything.

In an air of silence, then Hikigaya blankly states he was dissatisfied. Everyone looks at him, in shock, and then Yukinon's mother asks why. Hikigaya responds by saying that no matter how ridiculous or outlandish their plans may seem, he can come up with something to outclass them. He says that if he had the capability of doing such a plan, he deserves the resources to make such a thing happen. Everyone then sighs or gasps in response. Hikigaya says that he should at the very least see it through the end so then all the efforts and emotions he puts through will not smolder out for no reason.

Haruna then quickly laughs at this ideal, that putting up an entire prom just to potentially confess feelings to someone is something only an idiot would do. Sarcastically, Hikigaya says it is absolutely fine if he only does this for his personal reasons so he already does not expect anybody to support him in any way. Luckily, since no Student Council Body is involved, therefore rendering it a volunteer-event only. Haruna says that will not work out either because their mock prom (from EP8/EP9) that was shut down previously was by their family and the PTO. Which directly means they have some sort of weight in it even if something like that goes through no matter whose involved. Haruna then additionally says it was something Yukinon decided to do on her own and worked tirelessly for it. Yukinon begins to look ashamed after doing such a thing. Yukinon's mother had even acknowledged this.

Haruna then asks upfront about what it means for Hikigaya to be directly involved with Yukinon's family and the stakes attached to them. Hikigaya responds by saying, he completely understands this, and if he has to take responsibility for such actions with Yukinon's family, he intends to do so fully. This shocks Yukinon because she never knew that he would go this far for her. Haruna then straight up admits how much of an idiot Hikigaya truly is for stating something like that upfront. Yukinon's mother politely suggests that if he plans to do that he should have thought to make himself look better when being involved with their family. Then she asks if he could really possibly pull something off like that.

Yukinon quickly states that school's current budget is drained due to the last event, and as the Student Council has no direct stakes, he cannot be compensated in any way. Additionally, the window of time is too small and renders such an event completely impossible to pull off. Yukinon's mother then asks again, since Yukinon had already stated the status of the finances. Hikigaya answers back by saying, that, sure, it is impossible to do it alone but he confidently knows someone who could pull it off even in those circumstances - and it was Yukinon. Absolutely surprised to be called out - Yukinon stands up at Hikigaya for this. He then asks back, if they believe she would not be capable of pulling it off again; as there were technically no problems with the last prom, which they previously stated at the beginning of the debate.

Yukinon's mother replies saying that no matter what they come up with, Hikigaya will have the same conclusion. She appreciates his thorough explanation and then claims since it is fully volunteer-ran, the PTO will barely have any grasp on it. Haruna asks Yukinon's mother if she approves of it, just as a mother, and not as a PTO member. She says she definitely does not approve as a mother. It was conceived to fail from the start, especially from all the current conditions of the resources Yukinon had pointed out. Yukinon feels pressured, and then sits down again. Yukinon's mother then asks Yukinon directly that she should decide since she is in charge.

In another monologue, Hikigaya believes Yukinon already had an answer from the start, and he was confident that no matter who asked or how it was phrased she would give her same answer. After contemplating for a moment, Yukinon states that the answer has been obvious from the start. Hikigaya continues by saying that there was only one strategy worth using as the only person he was debating was actually just Yukinon herself.

In actuality, Hikigaya makes a claim that it is impossible to pull off something like this considering the conditions and timing of everything. Then politely asks, that she should save him. He says that she should not force herself, it being pretty much obvious bait. Yukinon then remarks that he is clearly baiting her. He teases her by saying she should take this bait and save him in response. Yukinon gladly replies by saying she will take this bait as she always hates losing, no matter the situation.

Yukinon then fully states, that as the person in charge, she will get a handle on the situation on her own. Yukino's mother then accepts this, and gives her a cold stare, saying she should see everything through knowing how much their family is involved. Hikigaya gets scared by this look. Yukinon responds by saying she should not have to be told this. With the debate finally coming to a close, Hikigaya smiles at Yukinon following her confident response.

⧉ The Bridge

Following the events of the negotiation with Yukinon's parents for an 'actual' prom still under Yukinon's direction thanks to Hikigaya's convincing. Yukinon and Hikigaya go through a heartfelt, emotional conversation on the bridge. This begins with Yukinon in denial of Hikigaya's means of going through such a situation with her parents. Yukinon expresses that the cold stare she gave her, was the same she gave her sister - implying that she 'has given up on her', putting up a smile. Hikigaya said he never meant for it to seem like that.

Yukinon then proceeds to further question Hikigaya's true intentions behind this. Hikigaya then fully admits it was the only true way to remain in contact with her - as the Service Club was quickly dissipating. Shocked by this, as Hikigaya moves slightly away on the bridge, she can not believe this was the reason why - as she wanted Yui's promise/wish fulfilled. Hikigaya says this was part of it in order to still have their afternoons filled with nothing. Not comfortable by what was admitted, Yukinon begins to quickly walk away from Hikigaya as she says can still work on relationships by herself. Hikigaya says he has no ability to maintain relationships and neither can Yukinon. As she walks further and further away, Hikigaya says neither of them are good enough at communicating, regardless, this will only cause them to drift further and further apart. Not wanting to ever lose sight of her again, he begins to walk faster and eventually begins to run and then grabs her hand.

He remarks: "If I let go of you now, I can't grab hold of you again." then willingly admits he wants to give every single part of his life to her. Saying that he wants to remain fully involved with her, not because he has any obligation attached, because he has a desire to always be with her. Not being able to express the term "love" fully or in such a simple way to Yukinon, Hikigaya's phrasing goes by: "distorting" her life, wanting to remain in her life and helping her, even though he has no real influence or power to be extremely life-changing, more like, just be there for her. Hikigaya says that even though he can be no real impact to her, he confesses that 'distorting' her is the only way to compensate for any way he has been in her life. Yukinon smiles as to what he finally meant, but then becomes upset by the imbalance of only Hikigaya becoming an anchor to her.

Admittingly still flustered, she thinks Hikigaya should present himself a bit better because she knows full well that he is worth much more than what he says. Yukinon knows Hikigaya has been dancing around the word "love" as it should be "something else" he should be saying but cannot come up with correct or right words for it. Hikigaya then fully admits to this. Hikigaya replies, saying it will be okay because he will just become so useless, and then they will both be ultimately useless so it will not matter at all. Yukinon begins to admit a list of flaws - to which Hikigaya responds in kind, saying he is so used to all these things and remains unphased by them. Along the lines of "I think you're so flawed - but that's even a good thing." Overwhelmed by such heartwarming responses, Yukinon softly jabs at Hikigaya's response for him just taking so much responsibility for her and her still not feeling useful at all. Yukinon then drops her hand, then Hikigaya picks up her hand and puts it on his heart, Yukinon becomes completely flustered and surprised by this. Hikigaya says that regardless of what happens, he will be there for her. Yukinon with her eyes glistening begins to lean on Hikigaya and grabs part part of his blazer, saying that she graciously accepts his life. Funnily enough, Yukinon has no clear way of admitting these feelings either. Then they lovingly embrace fully on the bridge as the episode ends.

⧉ SEASON 3/EPISODE 12:

⧉ [Early Morning]:

Early, near the Service Club door, Hikigaya waits for Yukinon, and attempts to forcefully open the door without a key. Yukinon then eventually notices him there and asks him to open the door for both of them, and smiles warmly.

Hikigaya and Yukinon then begin to actually plan the prom together, first, they realize they required someone "nice" enough to gather more help. After that faint realization, Hikigaya admits that they should not be putting so much work on Yui even if they do need the help. Yukinon says she shall willingly take responsibility for this, and knows she would be upset if nobody ever reached out to her. Hikigaya says he will do all he can on his side to gather help.

Both of them begin to overlook the possibilities of prom locations. Hikigaya mentions a sort of "beach" location that he actually wrote that Yukinon points out. As they need information, Yukinon puts on those very PC glasses that Hachiman gave to her as they both start to look at the places online. Hikigaya points out that the layout of one of the parks sounds fun. Yukinon says that they could probably do a 'garden party' of sorts, making these observations they unknowingly turn to each other with their faces surprisingly close to one another and both get very red. Turning opposite directions of another, embarrassed, they admit they can not say much until they actually see the place with their own eyes. Hikigaya suggests the idea that both of them should go see the place tomorrow since it is relatively close by and they have tomorrow off. Both of them, somewhat embarrassed to hang out together, though with a purpose, agree to survey the area, not as a "date" the next day.

⧉ [The Next Day]:

Arriving relatively early in the morning, Yukinon and Hikigaya go to the park located at the coastline to scout the location for the prom. Hikigaya notices how nervous Yukinon is as her vocabulary plummets to being the same adjectives being repeated. Hikigaya then notices and makes a comment on Yukinon's cute hairdo which seems to parallel a similar hairdo she did when they when on their 'mock date' back all the way in Season 1 and 2. With the exception that they are pigtails rather than twintails. Hikigaya asks if she usually does something so nice like this on her days off. She then replies then she does not do this on her days off or for school - implying that she did this especially for Hikigaya on this day. When I saw this my heart was melting ;w; it was really adorable for her to admit she put in that much effort just for Hikigaya. Hikigaya then finds the best way to compliment her, by saying that her new look has some perks, even though he feels more secure by her usual look - she blushes bright red and covers herself with her hat.

The scene then transitions to Hikigaya and Yukinon sitting on a bench near the coastline enjoying boba. Yukinon is shown drinking and enjoying hers already. Hikigaya goes into a monologue and has a moment to take a picture of it, claiming it is 'insta-worthy'. Yukinon catches Hikigaya and then sighs as she already drank from hers. Hikigaya then kindly offers his drink as he has not drank from it yet. To Hikigaya's surprise she pulls out her phone camera and then grabs him by the shoulder as he holds the drink and absolutely catches him by surprise. In the picture, Yukinon is smiling brightly and Hikigaya's reactionary blushing is caught in the moment. Yukinon asks how the photo is and shows Hikigaya, embarrassed, like usual, Hikigaya puts his hand on his face, red, suggesting to take it again because he looks 'too dead in the eyes'. Instead Hikigaya takes the photo with his phone - which I think is really cute because they both take photos on their own phones to save the moment. During this time, as Hikigaya holds up the phone to capture the moment, Yukinon gets flushed and makes sure she looks as nice as possible by fixing her hair and then he snaps the picture. Hikigaya then shows the new photo to Yukinon and she smiles in glee and begins to laugh and says: "Your eyes look the same, they are perfectly rotten." Hikigaya responds saying they can just use touch-ups by the power of modern science.

With a wedding happening nearby at a banquet hall, Yukinon points out they should have their prom there. Unknowingly, Hikigaya thought she was pointing to the wedding area. Flushed out by this statement, Hikigaya says: "I think we're skipping too many steps." Yukinon then barely realizes what he was talking about, and then practically has the same embarrassed response. She resorts to insulting his lack of looks and personality as she has to directly point out all the ambience, like it being near the coastline, has torches, and all necessary facilities in the neighboring banquet hall. After Hikigaya looks at what she points out, he realizes that is what she meant and think it's perfection. They both at smile at one another, and Yukinon confidently says it should fulfill the requirements for the budget they have.

⧉ [The Next Day]:

Yukinon and Hikigaya are sitting next to one another like usual, at the Service Club room. Isshki notices their closeness, and only acknowledges it. Eventually everyone gathers - including Yui at the very end.

Undergoing so much stress, Hikigaya decides he wants to go shopping for supplies since some are needed. Yukinon asks Hikigaya if he can pick up something for her to eat as he goes out, but then responds by saying it's too much trouble, that he must completely distress himself using the sauna. Slightly annoyed, but also unconvinced by this, Yukinon eventually agrees by remarking: "Right..."

After exiting the sauna, Hikigaya receives a text from his younger sister saying she is excited about the prom and smiles. He eventually catches up to Yukinon, Isshki, and Yui who are all sitting on a bench. Hikigaya with his usual Maxis coffee, notices Isshki humming to herself, and then Yui and Yukinon leaning and resting on one another. He looks content and smiles as all his close friends are all together. One after the other, each get up, to return back to the school. First Isshki, then Yui. Yukinon sits there content and smiles. Hikigaya then walks up to her and offers his hand, in a heartwarming moment, Yukinon acknowledges she can do it by herself, and he says he knows. He knows that even though she is this way, he will always reach out his hand to help her hand no matter the situation. Genuinely, in many ways, a bit of subtle and quiet expression, this was really romantic of Hikigaya to do ~ this might have been one of his best lines besides the entire Confession At The Bridge in EP11.

⧉ [Late During The Night]:

While the torches are still burning brightly, and all the conclusion of the Prom is upon Hikigaya and the rest of them. The camera pans over to Yukinon sifting through a bunch of managerial papers, sighing as the real challenges begin to pile up as there are so many expenses, things to clean, etc. Hikigaya sees Yukinon in this moment, and congratulates and encourages her, saying: "Good job, you managed to get through all of these challenges." She hurriedly replies, "But the real challenges are starting now" as she shows off the daunting stack of stack of administrative papers to be signed off. Yukinon begins to ask Hikigaya a multitude of favors and he smiles and replies to all of these, by this point you could definitely tell, these two were always meant to be around and help one another out. No matter how much or how little. After asking for another favor, to Hikigaya's stress, she mentions that she has one more very important thing to say and interrupts Hikigaya. She valiantly takes a step forward, clears her throat, grips the stack of papers tightly looks at Hikigaya straight in the eyes and says: "I love you, Hikigaya." no sugarcoating, no calling him a 'friend', she said it and she meant it. I was so glad, it was so worth all of that waiting, its so cute to see Yukinon being the one to say it. As they both react to one another, Yukinon runs off gushing red in embarrassment. Hikigaya cannot believe the genuineness and weight of Yukinon's statement, but then says that 'annoyingness' of her is what always kills him with cuteness.

⧉ [The Next Day/At The Service Club; Following The Prom]:

Hikigaya and Yukinon were sitting together once again, going through more of the usual budget and administrative papers from the Prom that just happened. Yukinon mentions that she wants to invite Hikigaya over for dinner. Nervously, Hikigaya asks if it's possible to decline. Yukinon had mentioned her mother had taken a liking to him. "You think I would do that?" Yukinon had mentioned, she had a smirk on her face, knowing full well he was trying to find some clever way to avoid this get-together. With this in mind, Yukinon began listing a bunch of potential people that might cause Hikigaya to not want to go to this, from Komachi staying after school trying to choose her club, to the audacity of someone like Hayama. Hikigaya, in disgust, says that would 'never happen in a million years'. Yukinon was happy and said, "I'm glad" seeing she had gone through every single possible option he could use as an excuse to not go. I personally thought this was really cute for both of them, because they interact with each other so easily. According to sources, these events; the dinner with Hikigaya and Yukinon; will take place once Oregairu Shin gets animated.

[vlerian-root]

I say "my comfort character is Draco Malfoy, I love him" But I have gone so far into my own fanon idea of him that it is not the Draco you know (and maybe also love). Nope. Not at all. Fucking hate that rich preposterous bully.

What I mean by him being my comfort character is: "After meticulous analysis of the films (and a little bit of the books, where it was conveninet) I have developed a huce resonance and atrtatchment to the character as the boy who had no chance. Because do you really have a choice when you are born and bred to be a carbon copy of your parents and their ideals, their prejudice? When it is sort of obvious, if you read into it (thank you Jason Isaacs, your plan to give people something to be sorry for Draco worked wonders) his parents expect the world and more from him. And if he doesn't deliver? Lucius is way to happy waving that cane around and it's making me very uneasy. I'm not saying Lucius is an abusive father, but I would not put it past him, under the guise of "discipline". Cold punishment to cut out unwanted behaviours, showers in riches and luxury and anything he wants when he gets what mommy and daddy want.

Do you really think, as a child, you could see past this ruse? No. You could not. It was good for you and it made you happy, so why would you see past it? But then the child grows up and following Mom and Dad means following wizard h*tler too. He is not even 15 when the Dark Lord returns, and his whole world outside of school bends over backwards to please his every whim, so as to not fall on his bad side. That bad side means death. So now the stakes have risen. It's no longer do what father said or I will get punished, this is do what father said because it's the Dark Lord's will, and going against that will means death.

Do you think a 15 year old that has to sit at extremist murderous fascists meetings in his own dining room every night can even think of escaping this fate? Do you think he is confident in his own abilities to escape the wolf's den? While his family is trapped, willingly or not, under his foot? No, he can't.

He is not selfish or stupid. He knows that there are consequences to his actions, and any sort of failure will mean demise for the only people who have shown him love in this world (even if very conditional). So Draco stays, and Draco does as he is told, even when it breaks him with impossible tasks and renders him a traitor to the entirery of the rest of the wrold he knows. Because the other option is death, multiple deaths. Perhaps he was ok with his own at one point, but he cannot bear sacrifice others just for his own benefit.

People call him selfish, a bully, closeminded. But was he ever really any of those things? When he stuck with his childhood friends since before Hogwarts, and stuck with them even when they were proven to be trash at everything, and not even useful for his own shenanigans? Was he closeminded when he was spoonfed bigotry since he was born, and punished for not replicating it to a T? He was a bully, because he was taught to be a bully, and there was no other option ever presented. You cannot have a child go through all that, and then welcome them at the other end with accusations of the very things you made them become.

Some other people call him a coward, because he didn't try to flee, not even once. Are you blind? He was the bravest person in the entire school, when he was singlehandedly taking on an impossible task, just to give his family some time, some sliver of hope, of surviving the Unforgivable Mistake his own father made (fucking up retrieving the Prophecy) If he failed, they would all die. If he succeeded, a lot of other people would die. In the end, he failed, but again, he had no real choice here. Dumbledore's death was orchestrated outside of his knowledge, but nobody thought of letting him know even after the fact, to ease his guilt. He spent an entire year pretending to try to kill and unkillable man, just so he could maybe get some credit but not need to complete the dreaded task. Futile, really, but he did try until the very end. Snape, who was supposed to help him, was just controlling when that cabinet was supposed to open, according to Dumbledore's whims. Draco had zero control. I'm not even so sure he was the one to fix the damn thing.

A person so devoid of control about their own life, who still tried so damn hard, just to be cast aside as a bully and a traitor, just breaks my fucking heart!!

And I can relate. I do relate.

To the conditional love of his parents, to the conditional support of his peers, to the constant act he had to keep up in order to benefit from any of his privileges - that he did not ask for. To the mountains of lies, upon lies, flung to everyone who might pry, who might hear. In the end, even to himself, to the point where reality and delusion overlap and lose all meaning. To holding onto one last hope, even when you know it's futile, because if you don't... you don't want to think about what will happen if you stop.

I relate to this, on a personal level, twice over. Draco is me, but Draco is also the best friend I had growing up.

I'm the Draco that fought tooth and nail and lost the battle, but never surrendered. The one that eventually fled, and changed his self to be a better person, all on his own.

My friend is the Draco that was a coward. The Draco that never changed, that always settled, because death and being alone was way too overpowering of a threat.

I suffer with myself every day. It is very hard to learn to love the parts of myself that I was taught to shame and blame and hate.

My friend never changed. We broke up almost a decade ago. She was manipulated into being a hateful, closeminded, horrible bully, and my heart breaks for her every single day. Her name is the same as mine. There is not a moment I am not reminded of her. I loved my friend.

So when I say that Draco Malfoy is my comfort character, I mean that his journey offers me a chance to explore my own trauma, in a way that I can offer comfort and feel love towards a person, that I know is a projection of me.

Loving Malfoy means loving myself."

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I will not be answering any questions.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Refuge”

Happy Saturday, everyone! Welcome to week two of… fourteen? Is that how many episodes we’ve got this Volume? Man, we’re going to be here for a while.

There’s a ton to unpack in “Refuge,” but as promised I want to delve into the opening first. Given the scattered, symbolic nature of our intro I think it’s easiest to just chuck out observations in list form. I’ll segue back into cohesive recapping in a moment.

So, what have we got?

The glitching between a happy, whole Atlas and the burning wreckage we’re now dealing with. That works well given both Atlas’ tech-focus culture and the ways that tech has led to some of our biggest tragedies (hijacked army, framing Penny, etc.)

Ruby looks scared and is standing behind the rest of her team, separated from them by the title. I’m not really feeling that theme so far though, given Yang’s incredibly weak challenge, Ruby’s immediate forgiveness (during her talk with Penny), and the fact that she’s still working with half the team who vocally support her, particularly Nora. Unless something drastic changes, the idea of Ruby being the outsider here is silly.

We get shots of the girls with their past selves superimposed over their bodies and weapons. I like the message here—they carry those versions of themselves with them—just not how it’s contrasted with Ironwood’s image of an earlier Atlas now burning. So that’s all he is now? Everyone gets to embody their growth except for him? His past is erased to focus solely on our current predicament? I’m not picking up any redemption flags here…

Robyn’s hand reaches down towards Clover’s badge, which then circles to show off the Ace Ops. The final image contrasts an angry Harriet with a defeated Qrow. At least, I hope they’re contrasts. It’s going to read as absurd if they somehow end up working together after Qrow helped get her leader killed.

This morphs into Qrow alone who sits, devastated, until Robyn offers him a hand up and they both smile. I’m not a fan of this symbolism after the prison scene we got this episode. It’s like Qrow might have thought about his choices until Robyn’s anger reminded him that, oh yeah, he can be angry at Ironwood instead. These two teaming up, when their last team-up led to a death, is worrisome to say the least.

We get our horrifying image of Salem looming over Oscar as he clutches his head. The group’s weapons fall. This makes sense given this episode’s kidnapping and the team’s sheer inability to do anything to stop it.

Jaune stands determined—also makes sense with his trend of giving “pep talks”—while Ren and Nora stand apart, facing opposite directions. Nora looks back though.

Paralleling them are Winter and Weiss who also face opposite directions. This is becoming a common visual theme: Harriet and Qrow, Nora and Ren, Winter and Weiss. Here though, Weiss looks determinedly ahead while Winter stares down at her feet, unsure. Ugh, I just know they’re going to have her betray Ironwood too.

We get a brief glimpse of Whitley and Willow, not a whole lot to go on. Then we see Salem turning her chess pieces into grimm—literally changing the game—while Ironwood’s white pieces are turned to dust. I could make a quip about how white is supposed to go first, but the initial move was made thousands of years before Ironwood existed and thus he never stood a chance, certainly not when his own allies are actively working against him… but I won’t lol

Watts is smiling at a terminal while at his back Pietro works at his. More opposites. Pietro’s reflection looks to Penny even as his body continues to work, his heart contrasting his head. Penny, in turn, looks upset as her reflection flinches at something off screen and the glass cracks. Watts hacking her, perhaps?

We see the new teams as a cherry blossom (I think?) floats across the screen. It melts in Ren’s hand while escaping Nora’s. Honestly, I’m not sure what to make of that just yet.

Ruby and Yang share a look—undermining their supposed conflict this volume. Couldn’t we have gotten sister unity over the last three years instead?—and a fight against grimm starts up. It freezes as Cinder walks through it, hopefully implying that the group’s attention is on the wrong threat. While they concern themselves with low-level grimm, Salem and her allies are walking free and wreaking havoc.

Then Cinder screams and clutches her grimm arm as things go up in flames. I hope that’s not a death flag given that we’ve teased her death twice already and we only just got a glimpse at her backstory. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning here that there’s a “Summer is the Hound” theory gaining traction which, frankly, I think is 100% unsubstantiated. It’s a fun crack theory, but not something I’m inclined to take seriously until we get some actual evidence behind it. There is, however, potential evidence for people becoming grimm in general: Salem falling into the pool and Cinder receiving that arm. That’s not much though. So while I’m far from convinced that the Hound was once human—let alone that it was Summer—there is something to the theory that Salem may be able to control Cinder via her arm like she controls other grimm. After all, she knew Cinder was alive despite everyone else thinking she’d perished. They seem to have some sort of connection that hasn’t been explained yet and now that Cinder has willingly walked back into Salem’s clutches, she may not be able to walk out.

There are shots of all our other villains, the Lamp and the Staff reflected in Salem’s eyes, and Jinn’s blue smoke, perhaps suggesting that we’ll see her again, or the entity residing in the Staff (if they exist).

Atlas glitches back to normal—a false victory?—before the ice breaks and Team RWBY falls into the darkness below. Volume 3 vibes all around. There’s light above them emanating from the Staff, but as Ruby reaches for it grimm arms circle and pull her deeper. I hope this means that the group will suffer the defeat we need to keep Salem as a legitimate threat, but we had very similar imagery back in Volume 6 and they made it out of that situation just fine, so.

“Happy Ever After” glitches into “Happy? Never Again.” Which isn’t ominous or anything. We finally end on the classic RWBY image of Crescent Rose buried in the snow underneath the shattered moon.

On the whole I think the opening is strong and I like a lot of the symbolism in it, though I do question how much will actually end up being relevant to the story. My only gripes are that there are too many different styles going on—it feels like three or four different Volume openings slammed together—and the fact that it also feels overly long. I don’t think it’s actually any longer than our Volume 7 opening, but it seems that way to me, perhaps because of those varying styles breaking things up.

So that’s what we’ll be watching for the next twelve weeks! Let’s move onto the actual episode.

We open on the image of Clover’s bloody badge in Qrow hand, the same one we got in the trailer. I theorized last recap that we’d be getting the rest of our trailer/promo material this week and I was almost entirely correct in that. This moment, retrieving the bikes, fighting off the grimm, Watts getting hit, Oscar carried away… all we’re missing are some eye closeups and Nora powering up her hammer. As said, it makes me nervous for what the rest of the Volume holds. I can’t decide whether the footage wasn’t ready to be included in promo materials that early, or if RT is just determined not to give us any information past the first two episodes…

Regardless, this is supposed to be a moment of grief and all I could focus on was Qrow’s hand. Specifically, the lack of detail in it. On the whole, I’ve been very happy with the engine upgrade and I quite like RWBY’s animation now, but a closeup here draws too much attention to how, sometimes, they’re just not animating their characters in a way that looks natural. Where is Qrow’s wrist? Why is his palm perfectly smooth? Stylistically that’s usually fine, but when given the chance to stare at it you realize how odd it looks. 

Says the woman whose own drawing skills suck but, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But we’re talking about the important bits in this episode! Out of frame Robyn is heard yelling, “This is your fault. You realize that, don’t you?” We’re meant to think that she’s telling Qrow this, especially with how he’s bent guiltily over the badge, until we cut to reveal Jacques right next to them.

I wish Robyn was saying all that to Qrow. It would mean that she was ignoring her own responsibility in Clover’s death, but at least it would have started an arc where Qrow has to grapple with what he did. Not the awful moment that’s coming up.

Before that though, Jacques claims that he’s the “victim” here who was ��duped.” His hands may not be clean, but “at least I’m not a murderer.” Look, I’m not here to absolve Jacques of anything. The guy is an absolute shit stain on the Remnant world. However, he’s right in his overall point even if his words are BS. Meaning, Jacques is not a victim and he is a murderer, but he is not the one responsible for Clover’s death. Robyn has plenty of things to be furious at him for, but this is not one of them. Ironically, here we have Jacques functioning as the kind of villain the show wants Ironwood to be. He is a murderer because the company he runs exploits faunus and forces them to work in dangerous conditions (see: the death of Ilia’s parents). He is culpable because he a) had control over these conditions and b) has full knowledge of their flaws. He’s a racist who cares more about money than lives. His informed choices then led directly to deaths. Ironwood? Not anywhere near the same thing. Overlooking the “Omg Salem is here and I have to do something about it” context, he did not try to arrest Robyn. He did not force Qrow to resist arrest, or Robyn to get involved, or Qrow to break Clover’s aura, or Tyrian to stab him in the chest. Ironwood had no control or knowledge of these events, so he is not responsible for Clover’s death in the way that Jacques is responsible for the faunus’. RWBY is giving the right arc to the wrong character.

Robyn then insists that Qrow didn’t kill anyone. He didn’t strike the blow, but he certainly helped! Look, Qrow is one of my favorites, but I’m not about to claim that he didn’t have a hand in getting his friend killed. I seriously can’t believe the show is ignoring this.

We then segue into some, uh, questionable dialogue choices. Jacques is a “snake with a mustache”? Sorry, I can’t take Robyn seriously at the best of times, but definitely not when she’s tossing out laugh worthy insults like that. Nevertheless, this “snake with a mustache” is guilty because he “helped that man tear us all apart.” That man being Watts.

…why are they all in what amounts to the same cell with barriers dividing them? I suppose we could make the argument that they’re being held in some secret facility, given that they’re in this dark, garage-esque space with no lights and no other prisoners. Some sort of maximum security setup that... doesn’t have any other inmates and no additional security? Hmm. Then again, the power is supposed to be out and I don’t really trust RWBY’s ability to craft consistent backgrounds. I feel like they’re packed together merely because that’s plot convenient, not because it makes any sense in world.

Watts looks pretty comfortable in there though and Jacques is likewise full of confidence. He says that by now Whitley will have already called their lawyers to get him out. Now, non-imprisoned people know that the apocalypse is currently underway, as Joanna will later put it. No one is lawyer-ing at the moment, but it will be crucial to see whether Whitley is trying to get Jacques out despite the chaos. How faithful is he to his abuser? Can Willow start undermining Jacques’ influence now that they’re alone?

Jacque’s confidence thoroughly pisses Robyn off and she screams, punching the barrier between them. Keep this in mind for a second. 

A moment later two guards show up to take Watts somewhere and… oh no. Please don’t tell me Ironwood is going to team up with him now that Penny has written him off? I know the guy has (presumably) already killed someone, and he must assume he’s killed Oscar, so we’re definitely in full villain territory despite the stupidity of it… but please don’t start working with Salem’s henchmen too. You know what? I’m not going to assume the worst until I actually see it. RWBY gives me enough nonsense as it is lol.

What I really want to talk about is that hit. 

I’m somewhat concerned by a lot of the fandom’s reaction to this moment in comparison to another. Who remembers Volume 6? That scene when Qrow punched Ozpin directly into a tree? Now, I’m not keeping track of who says what when—this is a generalized reaction—but I saw a lot of posts defending that action. There were numerous justifications for the punch, but the three big ones were: 1. These characters are fighters and they’re used to it, 2. These characters have aura so it’s not that bad, and 3. Ozpin totally deserved it. Now, the problems here are that 1a. I don’t think punching someone when they’re crying on their knees is justified, whether they’re a fighter or not, 1b. Qrow was likewise punching Oscar, a totally innocent kid, 2. We had established earlier that Oscar was having trouble remembering to activate his aura and didn’t seem to have it active then (no ripple effect, he’s rubbing his jaw afterwards), and 3. Ozpin’s crimes are, as explored on this blog, not nearly the horrific actions that the story and fandom would like to paint them as. The point is that despite all this, lots and lots of fans said it was totally okay to punch Ozpin&Oscar. What’s the big deal? they asked. Now, lots and lots of fans—mostly when the trailer first dropped—say it’s not okay to punch Watts. Despite the fact that he’s also a fighter. Despite the fact that his aura has broken. Despite the fact that he’s not currently a threat (seated on the bed/Ozpin on his knees). Despite the fact that he’s responsible for helping Salem try to take over the world. If we were to make a case for who deserves to get hit, Watts is a WAY stronger candidate in my opinion, yet he’s the one who a lot of fans are scrambling to defend. Why? I assume it’s because hitting him feeds into the generalized police state/dictator theme Ironwood has been thrown into. It helps villainize Ironwood for fans to go, “Poor Watts. He’s done horrific things but no one deserves to face police brutality.” I agree. The only problem is that a lot of those same fans seem to have gone, “Ozpin can get over it. He deserved to be hit! I would have done a whole lot worse to him…” So is the difference only that one attacker is a military professional and the other is… a huntsmen professional who soon after that scene starts working for the military? Yeah. The show continually ignores that the group aren’t the rogue heroes they pretend to be. They worked under Ironwood for weeks, if not months.

The show isn’t clear about its morals and neither are the fans, with both changing tactics whenever it helps blame the character they already don’t like. When Robyn punches the barrier, do we really think she wouldn’t have hit Jacques if given the chance? Why would it be heroic for her to hit the Evil Man but it’s not okay for the grunt minor character to hit the other Evil Man? These morals don’t change just because you like Robyn and don’t like Ironwood. 

Jumping ahead for a moment, we get another example of this hypocrisy with Joanna. A reporter is informing the people that the military seems to have stopped evacuations and there is an unheard number of grimm hanging out overhead, both things that are objective facts. He’s reporting as he should, sticking to what’s known and provable, and thus is, notably, not some lackey of Ironwood’s who is hastily presented as evil. Yet Joanna treats him like he is. She snatches the microphone from him and, when he starts to protest, threatens him with her weapon. After she’s done hijacking the feed, she shoves him on her way out.

Look at how scared this guy is. These are our heroes? This back and forth doesn’t work. Prior to his random killing spree, Ironwood took his fear and frustration out on some furniture, yet the show acted as if he was hurting real people. The mere possibility that he might use violence and intimidation to achieve heroic goals—getting Amity up/escaping Salem—was enough to label him as an antagonist because the understanding was that you can’t act like that no matter what your intentions are. Yet our current heroes can use as much violence and intimidation as they want to achieve their own heroic goal of warning the people? Do we think the story will encourage us to be critical of the group if they start beating up a bunch of Atlas goons to reach the access point? Of course not. And it’s that flip-flopping that’s the problem. Your heroes have to function differently than the villains in order for them to be heroes. Under that logic, our heroes haven’t acted like heroes since mid-Volume 6 and it’s getting harder and harder to watch.

Especially when we take the scene before this into account. Yup, we’ve still got Qrow gunning for Ironwood. Robyn bemoans the fact that they can’t do anything, to which Qrow replies, “We can do something. We can kill the man who put us here.” I… feel like I shouldn’t start repeating myself given how long this recap is—we’ll be here for forever lol—BUT I hope everyone reading this understands precisely how little this makes sense. How god awful a choice it is. I mean c’mon. Robyn attacked Clover unprovoked, Qrow teamed up with Tyrian, he broke Clover’s aura, Tyrian murdered him, Salem is here, and now he’s sitting in a cell with Watts and Jacques… but Ironwood is the guy he wants to kill? REALLY, QROW? THAT’S WHO YOU’RE GOING TO GO AFTER? I really can’t with this show sometimes. RWBY, put your clown makeup on.

We get a cut to Ironwood’s image just so there’s no confusion about who Qrow wants to help kill next and Joanna threatens that reporter who, you know, is also a citizen in need of help and protection… Her “General Ironwood has abandoned you, but we have not” sounds absolutely ridiculous when we just watched her intimidating this guy to get what she wants. ‘You can trust us! Unless we randomly decide we don’t like you.’ I have other things to say about Yang calling out that racist woman later on, but she gets props for helping her regardless. Honestly, I don’t get that sense from the cast very often: that they’d help you even if they don’t agree with you. They certainly didn’t offer that to Ozpin, Ironwood, or the Ace Ops.

There’s a very long shot of a scared toddler staring out the window, just to hammer home how young and innocent Mantle is. Seriously, pay attention to our imagery: Mantle is scared children in homes, cute children fist-bumping Jaune, family photos lost in the street, a stuffed toy run over by hoverbikes. It’s meant to evoke a general sense of domesticity and, again, innocence. Meanwhile, Atlas is only shown via Ironwood and Jacques, the villains. Where are the families living up in the sky? The children? The humanizing details? Our racist woman is an outlier who is quickly silenced by Yang. The rest of Mantle is characterized as victims: scared women, worried fathers, the faunus huddling together in the slums, even another racist who, while an asshole, is supposed to have a point about things like the embargo. Which is all true. These characters are all of these things, it’s just that they’re not unique in this. All this exists above too—from those families, to the faunus slave labor, to the beloved objects that remind you of someone’s worth—but they’re ignored to provide a simplistic look at Atlas as the villain. 

Throughout this entire episode the group tosses out snide remarks about how “They” don’t care about you and it’s just… they who? The other thousands of innocents who have nothing to do with Ironwood? The hundreds of Mantle citizens you already evacuated? The redeemable people like Winter and Whitley? The group fights alongside a Schnee who was one of the most vocal racists a year and a half ago, yet writes off the entirety of Atlas as the bad guys. What a mess.

As Joanna’s voiceover finishes, we cut to Yang’s group going after Pietro’s tech. I already covered this scene in our promo material, but to summarize here: horrible tone. Absolutely nonsensical given the situation. Salem is here and Yang is giggling over bikes. In fact, the tone is off for most of the episode (our end being the wonderful exception): Yang’s joy ride, antics with the Mantle citizens, Blake poking fun at Weiss, the tube scene… none of it fits the context of the series’ big bad here to kill everyone. Arguments along the lines of, “But it can’t be doom and gloom all the time” or “This is a brilliant parallel to Volume 3 with happy times heralding tragedy” don’t erase the fact that our cast isn’t taking this threat seriously. Last week Weiss’ “We’re never going to sleep again” moment worked because it’s humor in the context of how bad everything is. All of this? It’s just the group goofing off despite supposedly being in mortal danger. This?

This doesn’t read well. I’d argue this scene is even worse in context due to lines like “The others are definitely missing out.” In our promo material I assumed that the group just split for the sake of splitting and they were, in fact, just missing out on something cool. But we’ve since learned that they split due to a fundamental disagreement about how to help people, a split Ruby compared to Salem’s plans, a split that Yang started! Why is she now acting like their separation is a funny “missing out” moment? It’s like if half your friend group decided to go to the movies while the other half went to a party with an unexpectedly good DJ. The movie-goers are people who are “missing out,” not the group who went off to take over a military base and everyone left angry.

Keep in mind that Ozpin is also back. Every fun times scene with Oscar in it has the added problem of Ozpin hanging back, not saying anything, not acknowledged, still a secret.

The other issue I brought up weeks back was the lack of grimm. Why are the streets deserted? Shouldn’t the army be overrunning the city? Well, turns out that there’s no army because… Salem just hasn’t bothered to send it into the city yet? When Jaune and Ren take out the low-level grimm Oscar asks if they’ve “already pushed this far in,” to which Yang replies, “No, I think those are from last night.” A few minutes later, last night’s grimm change to new non-Salem grimm as Oscar observes, “It’s the negativity. Salem’s forces aren’t moving in, but it’s enough to attract the stragglers.” Later still, Joanna asks, “…grimm are circling out there. What are they waiting for?” GOOD QUESTION. We don’t know, but it’s real convenient, isn’t it? RWBY redeems itself a bit at the end of this episode with that Hound grimm, but I’m still calling it out for having Salem hold off long enough for the group to evacuate pretty much all of Mantle and infiltrate the base. That’s real nice of her. As the characters keep pointing out, it would be a staggeringly different situation if they were overrun with grimm right now, huh? Kind of like the situation Ironwood (rightfully) assumed they’d be dealing with.

Again, I’m so glad our Big Bad is kind enough to let the heroes do everything they need to before lifting a finger to attack them.

RWBY seems to be setting up a, “See! There was always time to evacuate the city!” accusation even though no one could have known that and it makes zero logical sense. Salem brings an army with her so she can not use the army against Atlas? Right…

This all segues directly into our other promo scene. My initial comments still stand: the tone doesn’t work, the lack of urgency doesn’t work (Jaune playing with the kid, Oscar politely knocking on doors), the low-level grimm are not a threat, that shield is useless against anything not driven by plot convenience, and it’s weird for Jaune to be yelling, “Heads up!” when there’s no one in front of him. As said, this moment really doesn’t sit well given everything that’s going on. I had hoped that it would read better when seen in the episode itself, but that’s sadly not the case.  

After Ren one-shots the grimm Jaune suggests that they use his amplified semblance to get everyone to the crater safely. Ren seems less than pleased about this, but agrees. Right now, it’s easy to say that he’s in a bad mood because Nora is mad at him, but what about the Volume before? Where’s this underlying tension coming from? I can come up with lots of theories, but at some point the show needs to confirm something. The longer we go not explaining what’s wrong with Ren, the less faith I have that it will make sense when we get it.

We see the racist woman upset that they have to go live with the “animals in the slums” rather than going up to Atlas. As said, I like that Yang helps her despite clearly hating the woman, I also think her criticism holds up well (ignoring the simplified ‘They abandoned you’ narrative). The only thing that bugs me is RWBY continually presenting racism as a problem to throw a band-aid on and then pat yourself on the back for ‘solving.’ Racist drunk says shit? Toss him in the trash! Racist woman says shit? Remind her that her survival depends on you! It’s not that these responses aren’t earned, but that we’re given them instead of an actual arc that tackles the complexities of this issue. I mean, Blake has abandoned the White Fang and we’ve barely mentioned the faunus slave labor in Atlas. When they head to the dust facility it’s conveniently run by bots instead of faunus. Can you imagine if Weiss Schnee walked into a group of exploited minorities, hoping to use them to access a military base? But of course, there’s nothing like that. RWBY ignores the actual issues for these simple solutions. Heroes just attack/threaten racists and then it all goes away. Yay.

The other problem with this scene is that we learn the crater is the slums. Um… what? Hold on, Joanna made it sound like it’s a separate place, potentially inhabited by grimm, yet it’s the same area Oscar was in last episode? How is that area warmer? This makes no sense to me.

Also, ha, the crater below Atlas apparently houses all the “animals” that Team RWBYJNR is very protective of. I’m waiting for them to do something that messes with the Staff—Ruby reaching for it in the opening—Atlas crashes down on a whole city of exploited minorities, and then Ironwood is blamed for it somehow. Can’t wait for that episode.

So the group starts making their way there and hark! An Ozpin! I’m always thrilled to hear him, even if he’s treated just terribly by the show. Oscar is at the back of the group and comments that “It should not be this hard just getting people to cooperate.” Except… they are cooperating? Oscar, you are watching them cooperate right in front of you. That one woman might grumble a bit, but she hasn’t made a move or said a word about not doing what you say. Where did this complaint come from? Another example of RWBY insisting something is there when it simply isn’t. More importantly, Ozpin responds:

“And yet, it’s becoming something I’m increasingly concerned about.”

“You know, I really don’t need your additional comments right now.”

Then why did you comment out loud, Oscar? What, do you normally talk to yourself like that? You were clearly speaking to Ozpin! Don’t criticize him for responding. I hate traps like that.

Ozpin immediately says that Oscar has every right to be upset and apologizes for leaving… it’s not apologizing for his entire existence like I wrote on the bingo board, but it’s close. Who’s surprised that Ozpin is the first to offer (another) apology? Not me. Oscar corrects him with, “I’m upset you came back!”

Okay. Here’s the thing. I like the idea of Oscar rejecting Ozpin both because he’s taken over his life and because Oscar has suffered horribly due to Ozpin’s presence (punched, slammed into walls, kidnapping attempts, etc.) That makes sense, it’s actually morally complex, and it’s great groundwork for character growth. The only problem is… this came out of nowhere. Oscar was shown accepting this new life when he left the farm. Then again when he insisted on fighting Hazel. Then again all the times he’s been told he’s acting like Ozpin and seems to accept that just fine. He’s clearly pleased with this new badass self he’s got going on—he even says as much—yet doesn’t want to acknowledge Ozpin as the catalyst for all this positive change. Okay, that’s something we could still work through, but what about the group? Fans are already theorizing that this is why Oscar is keeping Ozpin a secret, because he’s scared of how the group will react, punishing him to get at Ozpin again, and though he 100% has reasons for thinking that will happen, Oscar hasn’t shown that fear before now. Qrow punches him? Bonding moment with Ruby. Jaune attacks him? I made you all dinner. They all smile over his inevitable death/disappearance? He smiles back. Yang is the most scream-y? Happy to have her using him as an armrest. The group continually ignores him and treats him with suspicion? Not a peep of protest. It’s horrifying that Oscar accepted how the group previously treated him, but he did accept it. Where did this fear come from if we haven’t seen it in response to the harm done towards him? Just as importantly, can’t we have an arc where Oscar is mad at the team some too? I’ll admit that the general premise of blaming Ozpin makes sense for the traumatized fourteen-year old, but after two years of blaming Ozpin for everything… aren’t we sick of this? His team has actively hurt him, outside of Ozpin’s ability to prevent, yet Ozpin is the one who takes all the heat for their behavior. “I felt like I was actually part of the team” should lead to the realization of, “Hey, Yang shouldn’t yell at both of us for things outside of our control” not, “Hey, you should stay away forever because others have decided they don’t like you.”

All of this following Ozpin saving Oscar’s life in the airship. Then saving his life again after Ironwood shot him. Our heroes are real grateful, huh. I hate that RWBY is taking another fave and doing them dirty, though I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. 

Ozpin also mentions his magic—would be nice if Oscar brought that up with the team!—and that he is now “recollecting my longest held memories.” He…is? When? Don’t you think that’s something important to show us? We keep being told that “the merge” is occurring but not shown what that actually means. Seriously, when did Oscar get slammed with that many memories??

Please just use the aura machine and give Ozpin a robot body. RT doesn’t have the chops for writing this situation.

As they continue on towards the crater Ren snaps at Jaune about not needing a “pep talk.” Jaune looks annoyed at the attitude which, fair. It says a lot about the writing the last few years that Jaune is the character I’m least frustrated with lol. Likely because they haven’t had him do anything lately which, given that he’s not one of the title characters and our cast is bloated enough as it is, I’m still totally fine with.

Ozpin concludes the scene with, “We need to find a way to work together. Not just the two of us, all of us” with the camera panning up to look at Atlas. I’m glad someone isn’t ready to throw Ironwood under the bus. Given how the group reacted to him sparing Lionheart’s name though, I don’t think they’ll follow Ozpin in his forgiveness. If anything, I expect this perspective to just be more hate fuel.  

We move to Ruby’s group which now includes May. Woohoo! She still hasn’t gotten half the screen time as Joanna, but I’m really glad she’s here. In fact, between a useful semblance and that adorable courtesy, I love her already. Despite, you know, helping the team break into the base and all that. Everyone has their flaws lol.  

She also frames the Amity plan as getting the world “talking again.” Why is everything presented like a fun romp rather than avoiding death via Salem? Absolutely terrible tone this episode.

The group hilariously waltzes past a sign labeled AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY and enters the dust facility with the bots I mentioned earlier. This I do like. My hypothetical scenario incorporating the racism issue aside, I like that Weiss is using her knowledge and connections to further the mission, rather than something conveniently dropping into the group’s lap. Like Amity suddenly being ready for launch…So yeah, it makes sense that Weiss would know of a potential way in.  

Sending someone up through the tubes though? Ehhh… I know they have aura and everything—and that Zwei was once mailed—but are we sure this is safe?? Doesn’t matter because Nora sends Weiss through with a misplaced button press. Good thing that was the tube heading to the base. Too bad Weiss is heading to a guarded military base alone. It should have been May going first with her semblance activated, but no. Chuck this onto the ever increasing ‘Bad Tone’ pile. There should not be giggles over Weiss being in that level of danger, especially with everything else going on. Ruby’s expression is the only one on point.

Before Weiss is yeeted off though, Penny and Ruby have a talk wherein Ruby lies her ass off. Penny says, “I do not like it when friends fight” and when Ruby starts talking about Yang she corrects her, revealing that she’s actually thinking about Winter and Ironwood. “They were our friends.”

I was ready to sing Penny’s praises and really, she still gets credit for being the only one who has acknowledged this, but her opinion is (once again) overridden by Ruby’s. Penny goes, “but then the Ace Ops attacked you” which Ruby doesn’t bother to correct. How would Penny know otherwise? The only information she has about that battle is what Ruby has told her, but Ruby is lying via omission here. The Ace Ops never attacked her. They very explicitly refused to start a fight. Ruby attacked them. Then when Penny is upset that Ironwood said “people were going to die because of me,” Ruby takes her by the shoulders and angrily insists, “That was a lie and he was only saying it to hurt you.”

Ruby… you’re the one lying. You know damn well Ironwood didn’t just say that to hurt Penny. Oh yeah, the general trying to keep a kingdom alive from an immortal witch is preoccupied with hurting Penny’s feelings for no reason other than being evil. That makes sense. More importantly, Ironwood is right. Look, I’m by no means blaming Penny for anything. She fought off Cinder, took the power when there was no other choice, and has now gotten caught up in Ruby’s plans which include incredibly misleading information that Penny has no reason to question. She’s doing her best and deserves that hug. But that doesn’t mean she lacks responsibility here. Ironwood needs Penny to evacuate. Penny—listening to Ruby—won’t help him. Ergo, if something happens to the people up in Atlas Penny will be partly responsible. If I have the key to a door with lots of people trapped behind it as a fire rages, and I refuse to open that door, I have indeed allowed a lot of people to die. As Penny says, she didn’t want this responsibility… but she has it. She has to deal with it. Too bad she’s with Ruby who encourages her to ignore it instead, insisting that nothing bad that happens after their choices could in any way be connected to them. Kind of like Qrow ignoring his own actions against Clover.

Because that’s the takeaway from this scene. Penny had empathy for their friends and then Ruby talked her out of it. She never even acknowledges that those were indeed seven friends that she betrayed. That’s horrible.

What happened to Ruby? I used to love this girl.

Continuing our tone issue, Nora is watching this show like her favorite soap is on. Okay then.

Weiss goes up the tube and then we cut to Fiona saying that… the Mantle police are helping them evacuate? So the military is bad, but the police are good? I need to stop trying to make sense of RWBY’s allegory.

When Yang and the others return Fiona makes an innocent comment about being worried about how they’d fare without the rest of their team. Yang is pissed.

Ah, so we’re back to her giving allies attitude for random observations. Remember the anger at Marrow for suggesting she and Blake try different team-ups? Now here Yang is, in a different team-up, doing quite well. Funny how we never acknowledge who first suggested that. Now, Fiona reveals a totally logical worry that losing four fighters might make a difference when fending off grimm, but Yang is poised to be angry at everyone, about everything, all the time. Which I get is something that a lot of fans like. I’ve already seen a couple of posts praising RT for letting Robyn and Yang be angry without consequences because women often can’t do that and, fair. That is indeed one way to read it. My problem is that their anger is actually irrational, not just called as much because we women are ~emotional~. Their anger isn’t justified: Robyn because she had a significant hand in all this nonsense (that she’s ignoring) and Yang because it’s clear Fiona means no harm here. This is anger that needs to be called out, not ignored because yay women expressing emotion. That kind of defense is reserved for a woman’s justified anger that needs to be expressed without criticism, especially in a narrative that tries to undermine her perspective. But what has Fiona done to Yang? Nothing. More importantly, the show has yet to teach Yang a better coping mechanism than lashing out at people, be it with her fists, words, or angry glares. Yang has been through the ringer and it makes sense that she’s angry, but that doesn’t mean she gets a lifelong pass to treat those around her badly. 

Anyway, Joanna says they have a lot of people to keep warm even though the crater was supposed to be warmer? And they’re stealing dust? So what are they using it for it not heat? We’re not seeing any difference here and frankly all the civilians should be dead by now. Or at least entering hypothermia. (Give me that conflict: how do you keep people safe when they’re not all conveniently up for walking all the way to the slums?) Joanna also says that they’re trying to get the “Old mine shafts into a livable condition” which would take how long exactly? In fact, I’d say our timeline is already wonky. We’ve watched Yang hide the Ace Ops last Volume, fly to Winter and Penny, find the Happy Huntresses, wait around for Oscar to show up, ran off on her own at some point to scout, went to get bikes, evacuated all those people to the (far away) slums, then went back out to fight off the grimm. That had to have taken up a good chunk of the night, though it’s impossible to tell the time with Atlas’ snowy sky. I’m leaning towards a bingo mark though…

The faunus who I thought was a badger or something is… a bear I guess? He has a bear-like paw, but his nails seem too long… I honestly don’t know. But he’s Fiona’s uncle! Cute. She's off to deal with a fight that’s starting while the group goes to fight more grimm. Finally, the episode gets good.

The teamwork to take out the dragon grimm was nice, always glad to see it, but the real fight starts when two more grunts show up and then immediately run away. What could have scared them off?

The Hound. (I’m sorry, all I can think of is Game of Thrones when I write that, but it seems to be the name the fandom is adopting, so…) Remember how I said it was unlikely to be a threat on its own? I WAS WRONG. Holy shit this thing is terrifying. It snatches Oscar and in some wonderfully quick animation absolutely obliterates the kid. Oscar is thrown around like a chew toy, desperately trying to rabbit kick at this thing and it does [checks notes] absolutely nothing. I’d normally say something about our farm boy always getting the shit kicked out of him, but this scene was too good for my salt.

Then it changes shape, growing arms, and starts using Oscar as a shield. Yang can’t pull back in time and is snagged by her head, the Hound tossing her into the wall hard enough to break the stone. She’s still conscious though and warns the others about its strategy.

“But grimm aren’t that smart,” Jaune says. Maybe if you kids (Fiona keeps calling them kids) had stayed in school you would have learned that grimm get smarter with age! Oobleck knew that. Or, just as likely, this is a special Salem grimm. Hard to say at this point.

The point though is that the group is helpless in the face of this monster. I do want to emphasize this. I’ve seen a few people criticizing them for not doing enough to save Oscar and it’s like, what did you want them to do? Yang tried to attack and the grimm nearly had her hitting Oscar instead. Ren tried to attack and the grimm changed so fast his weapon was useless. Factor in that morphing—which the group has never seen before—the horror of Oscar hanging there limp, and the general fighter response of, ‘I can’t just keep attacking head on because that thing might kill me,’ and you realize the group was screwed from the start. They can’t stand up against this thing, not without a good strategy anyway, which there’s no time to think up. For the first time in years, ever since Tyrian, Salem actually made the right, villainous call.

Ren screams, “Give him back!”—which was just lovely in an angsty way—and the grimm creepily cuddles Oscar against his chest. Then he responds, “No.” Yeah, they’ve never seen that before either. Can you blame them for their shock? I’m impressed that they were on their bikes just seconds later, managing to keep the grimm in sight. That speaks to their combat experience. Not the ability to power through a situation where they’re clearly outmatched, but their ability to pick themselves back up and try again.

... Ah, so that’s why Pietro was oh so randomly making them bikes. The plot needed a way for them to keep up with a flying grimm. Got it.

My takeaway? RT should be writing horror. They’re far better at it. The animation, sound effects, voice acting, the grimm’s speech and protective instincts, that splatter of goo on Oscar’s cheek… 

... stellar all around. Like the Apathy, this is the best I think RWBY has been since the lore episode of Volume 6. Granted, action sequences like this aren’t required to grapple with any of the messy morals and character consistency of other scenes, but still. If RWBY had just given me a lighthearted ‘Girls fight cartoon monsters’ show or a horror fueled ‘Girls fight monster abominations’ show, I’d have been happy. This? This is the only redeeming part of the episode. And it’s indeed one hell of a redemption. Look at this thing!

I’m not going to say it erases all the bad we got—it doesn’t—or that it likewise erases problems like Salem not using the rest of her army, but it’s a notable step in the right direction. This grimm is a threat. This grimm is a mountain the cast has to overcome. If this is the minion its master should be Everest. I still think this Volume is going down the tubes fast (it’s going the way of Weiss lol), but if it can give me more scenes like this? It might not be a total loss.

Last thing to acknowledge: What about Ozpin? I’ll admit it doesn’t look good. Given how fast he takes control he should have been able to override Oscar’s will and at least fight back a little with that spectacular magic we saw during the finale. So why didn’t he? I hope we get an in-world explanation: it happened so fast even Ozpin couldn’t do anything (shaky, but I’ll take it in a pinch), now that the merge is farther along he can no longer take control—something. Because I can easily imagine how quickly the fandom, and even the cast, will turn on him for not playing deus ex machina here. In reality, I think Ozpin didn’t take control simply because the plot needed him not to. The writers needed Oscar kidnapped so any potential out from that is conveniently forgotten… which is another knock against their writing, despite how great the scene otherwise was. The point is to take all these potential pushbacks and find a satisfying way to circumvent them, not pretend they don’t exist. RT can still save themselves here by providing that explanation later, so I hope they’re smart enough to do that. Ozpin has been blamed for everything at this point. His own kidnapping doesn’t need to be added to the list.

Also, still no word on Schrödinger's councilman. We’ve got to wait another week to see whether he’s dead or not.

Finally, let’s update the bingo card!

I’m crossing off “Ruby gives an ‘inspiring’ speech built on ignoring facts she doesn’t like” for that conversation with Penny. Yeah, it’s a speech to her alone about her worth, but Ruby mischaracterized the situation so badly I’m mad at her lol

I never thought the story would straight up just not have the grimm army attacking, so I think I’ll hold off on “Army of grimm conveniently doesn’t kill any civilians” until we see if/when it gets involved.

I’ll likewise hold off on the timeline slot until we see how bad things get…

Maria is on thin ice given that we have no idea what she’s supposedly doing while the group is off on their missions. Stay tuned.

Today we’re crossing off “Deadly cold conveniently doesn’t kill any civilians.” They should all be dropping like flies by now.

A friend pointed out that Cinder’s Cinderella flashback counts as an “Overly obvious fairy tale allusion.” In fact, I talked about how much of a shorthand that is, so that’s getting a mark.

From last week I’ve also decided to include Amity for “Retconning previous lore.” Now that the group is fully underway with their plan it reads as even more egregious that we were told it wasn’t ready.

I’ll hold off on Ozpin’s space for a while. See if he apologizes to the whole group and, if so, exactly what for.

“Oscar is finally kidnapped”—check!

Well, that’s a whole lot of headway this week. Can’t wait to see where the next episode takes us... Here’s hoping we spend a lot of time with that Hound. MVP of the episode.

Until next time! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

[oldsilverblood5]

Flowers

Even with Pandora’s warning, Phantom was still caught off guard by how bright it was. His eyes quickly adjusted though, and the warmth was the next thing he noticed.

“Welcome to my garden.” Pandora said proudly. Phantom looked into the new room and felt his jaw drop.

It was a large room, lit up by warm yellow lights, and filled with all kinds of plants Phantom had never seen. Some had similar shapes to plants he’d seen all his life, like the trees and hedges and vines that grew along trellises, but the colours were the true difference. Though green still seemed to be the most prominent much like their own plants, Phantom could see various purples, pink, reds, yellows, blues and so much more. And that was just what he could see from the entrance! The room was so much bigger, and he could see that there were some parts that were sectioned off by tall hedges.

Phantom tore his eyes away from the beauty of the place to take in the human’s reaction, after all they were there for him, and found himself struck all over again by the look on Danny’s face.

His mouth hung open in awe and his wide eyes radiated happiness and longing. Though humans didn’t glow, Danny sure looked like he was trying to. Danny slowly stepped forward, taking in more of the garden, and then he turned around with a wide smile and tears in his eyes.

“It looks just like home.”

Phantom looked out at the sea of colours visible to him, his first glimpse at what Danny’s world looked like, and it wasn’t hard to believe they were from the same world. Not just because of the differences to his own, but because Danny and the garden shared the same vibrancy. They were both bright and warm, as well as relaxing and comforting.

Pandora chuckled and walked forward, guiding them deeper. Phantom’s team had tagged along with them since they were there when they found out humans couldn’t eat their food. “I should hope so. I spent a long time collecting these plants and making sure they could survive in the Ghost Zone.” She pointed upwards at the lights. “Mimicking the sun was the hardest part. Though I’m glad it’s paying off now.” Their leader looked at Danny with a hint of worry as they passed under an arch covered in pale pink flowers. “One of the things I remember about humans is that you can become sick when away from sunlight too long.”

Though Danny just shrugged at the statement, Phantom interrupted before he could say whatever he was about to.

“Wait! What do you mean sick!?” He flew forward to get a better look at the human’s face, making sure there were no signs of an illness. Danny looked startled for a moment, but amusement quickly took over. He ignored the chuckles he heard from the direction of his friends and focused on the soft touch on his raised hands. It was the first time Danny had willingly touched him, and he patted them as if to comfort the ghost.

“It’s okay, Phantom. I’ve only been here a day, that’s nowhere near long enough to cause any problems.” Danny looked to the side and gestured to the cluster of plants they stopped next to. “And look, if the plants are flourishing like this then whatever artificial sunlight Pandora’s made must be pretty good.”

Phantom observed the large yellow flowers and relaxed. He didn’t know what they were or how they were supposed to look, but Danny seemed pretty happy with their condition and he supposed nobody would know better than a human. “What are these called?” He asked.

“Sunflowers.” He chirped.

Phantom looked at him with a raised brow, but the human payed him no mind. Instead, he pranced around Phantom to crouch in front of a group of plants with purple flowers that clustered around a stalk that made it look like a tall dome. “And these are hyacinths. My Mom has them in her garden too. They’re her favourite.” He jumped up to examine some flowers with pink petals surrounding a yellow centre. “She has these too, but I can’t remember what they’re called.

“Those are peonies.” Pandora answered him.

He smiled at her, and for the next few minutes the group explored the garden. Everyone occasionally asked Danny the names of certain flowers and he answered where he could. The times he didn’t know Pandora answered for him.

They were nearing the end of the flower section and Pandora was ready to guide them to the area where she kept the edible plants when Danny suddenly stopped.

He was staring at a group of small white flowers that grew up a trellis though Phantom wasn’t sure why. They were pretty unremarkable compared to all the other flowers he’d just discovered.

Danny looked up at Pandora, revealing a sad smile. “May I?”

After a confirmation from the ghost, Danny carefully picked off a stem with several of the white flowers and held it close to his chest before tucking it in the pocket of the jacket Phantom gave him.

Danny blushed when he noticed the questioning looks from everyone else. “They’re called jasmines.” He answered. “My sister was named after them.”

At everyone’s looks of realisation, Danny cleared his throat and turned to Pandora. “So, food?”

Pandora nodded towards another arch. “Yes, it’s through this way. I know humans don’t eat as much as ghosts but you must be starving by now.”

A low growling sound filled the air causing majority of the ghosts to stand on alert.

“What was that?” Ember looked around for the cause but could only find an amused Pandora and an even redder Danny.

“I’ll take that as a yes?” She chuckled.

The rest of the ghosts looked at Danny with confusion.

“That was you?” Johnny asked incredulously, only making Danny blush harder as he lifted a hand to his midsection.

“It does that when I’m hungry, okay.” He mumbled and followed after the older ghost, leaving the others to laugh behind him.

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Until Forever - Sirius Black x Reader

MASTERLIST Warnings: My English as always. Pics aren’t mine. Since I started this story, I knew where I wanted it to end but the middle part was a surprise, the characters showed me the way and I am simply trying to tell their story. It is going to be a Sirius Black story but not so easily. Also, I am so sorry for the mini pause. I am back.  Word Count~ 2.7k. Prologue | Mercury | Delicate | Blue | Running | Aftermath

Chapter 7. Stardust. 

            She had avoided breakfast, considering that it would be too awkward – especially since she didn’t know what to do. But she couldn’t avoid them forever. She knew that it was wrong playing with feelings, it was wrong hurting others but she hadn’t been able to answer the question James had asked. Everyone had always believed she had the answer. They would turn to her in distress and she would watch them slowly collapsing into themselves. A broken record, spiraling into oblivion. Paralyzed, unable to help the situation, leaning forward ingesting the emotions running through their mind. But they had never thought that she held no answers. She was a question herself.             She wasn’t handling it very well either. She had to talk to him, clear things up. Just thinking about it stressed her out but she knew it was important to function like an adult about it. She had loved the book he had gotten her – it reminded her of her previous life and it was keeping her grounded to her true self. But it made her life so much more complicated because he had payed attention, he had given it thought, he had gone out of his way – and for fuck’s sake, he was always there.             It was very early and Hogwarts was covered in mist. Beautifully enchanted and haunting at the same time. She walked all the way to the kitchens and finally thought about the castle itself; it was old – maybe not ancient but one thousand years were a lot. She had never given much thought to the location but Scotland’s Highlands had to be the most serene place in the world. She always wanted to visit Scotland and she never knew why – maybe because it felt magic and it would had been the closest, she would ever get to it. Entire valleys covered in green beneath an almost transparent gray sky and shore so dramatic alongside the beautiful coasts and the magnificent freedom of it all. And Hogwarts happened to be in the middle.             The stones felt wise, as if they were meant to build a castle that would help magic grow. She hadn’t thought about how rare her experience was, mainly because after a while she had somewhat forgotten about the whole time-travel surreal thing. She couldn’t pinpoint the moment she had let go of her memories and started creating new one but it must have been somewhere between the soft, velvet, dark sky and the shy, twirling, luminous dawn.             She finally made it to the kitchens and something struck her as odd; there were no elves. She already knew – she knew that he would have to be there. Because of an entire castle, he had to be there. Taking in a deep breath, she went to make her chai tea latte. He remained silent – he didn’t how to start and what to say. People don’t just kiss and never speak again – or they do but he didn’t want to think about that. Passing by him, without looking him in the eyes made her feel like a liar.              “Hey” she gently greeted him and his heart skipped a beat – she wanted to talk to him and that was a start point. He slowly raised his eyes to meet her figure – he didn’t remember a time she didn’t wear black, gray or deep purple. Replying a single hey didn’t feel right; too pretentious and cold. Instead, he stood up from his seat, walked towards her and the counted, almost towering over her, as she prepared a drink Remus didn’t know.            “What’s that?” he carefully asked her, pointing with his chin at the cup. She let a small chuckle escape her lips as she finally turned to look at him. A big mistake. She could never say no to that pair of eyes. Great.             “It’s called chai tea latte and it’s quite aromatic and flavorful” she explained as if nothing had happened. But something had. He nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line. He wanted to talk about it but seeing her so peaceful made it impossible. She wasn’t peaceful at all; all the serenity was superficial. She let her cup down onto the counter and turned her entire body towards him. It was time.             “Thank you. For the book” she started but he got discouraged and nodded all nervously.            “Oh, yeah. No problem:” … no problem? He wanted to slap himself out of whatever trance he was. She chewed on the inside of her mouth, gesturing him to sit down again, as she took her cup, placed it down to the table and sat down next to him. Before she could say a single word, he blurted out the first thing that came into his mind; the only thing that was there.            “You like him, don’t you?” he stated as more of an answer than a question, his facial characteristics twisting in agony and disbelief. She could’ve lied – but what kind of a person would that made her?            “You knew that when you kissed me, didn’t you?” she summed their entire problem in one little phrase. And she had been right – he knew that she liked his best friend and that Sirius liked her, he knew that he shouldn’t had left his feelings take control over his actions but he kissed her anyway. He was well aware that something was still out of his understanding, he knew that she was older and the even if she liked Sirius, she wouldn’t had acted. Yet he had kissed her. And she had every right to demand that answer as he had the right to demand his. It was useless because they both knew what the other person would say. He lowered his eyes as she swallowed with difficulty.            He was about to stand and leave when her cautious voice stopped him. She hadn’t thought that through, she hadn’t listened to her last remaining brain cell, she hadn’t even begun to realize what would that meant, she hadn’t taken into consideration that the story wasn’t supposed to turn out like that, yet she said it anyway. She felt the same way she had in her previous relationship – it was the right thing to do, the safe bet, the loving companion.             “Maybe we can give it a try” she whispered to him. He was startled. He had not seen that one coming and he hadn’t even considered the possibility of her choosing him. Maybe because he wouldn’t. He wanted to ask her why was shy so attracted to darkness but she had already answer him with her eyes. Because it intrigued her. The mystery that was never really resolved. It could change her and take her away from the reality, even when she had to face this every time she woke up. Because it had always been a part of her and something to become associated with. As much as it destroyed her, it also transformed her being and enlightened her emotional understanding. It had its own power and energy. Because she felt emotions to the extreme, there was something disturbing but pleasant about it. An addiction, to repeating bad things, that felt slightly good.            “You want to? What about … him?” he found the courage to ask her but she shook her head, locking eyes with him.              “I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise, Remus” she admitted and it was true. She did want to try it because she would never know how would it feel like. And before she could register what happened, he had crushed his lips to hers and it felt soft and nice but she could sense that extra fire which lingered on – he wanted to be bold, especially before a full moon, he didn’t control it. She found herself enjoying the kiss more than she had anticipated. She had always thought that Remus was the last one to indulge in the whole range of experiences that a relationship had to offer, but she wasn’t so sure anymore. He didn’t feel like a virgin after all, she though and smiled into the kiss.

She had never been a fan of labelling things, even when she had to move out of a house and into a new one, her things weren’t labelled. But above all, she didn’t want to label something like the thing she had with Remus as a relationship. She didn’t know where they stood, or how it would progress and she needed time to process the very fact. Remus understood and thought that it would be better if no one knew for a while. Of course, it would slip his tongue the moment his friends would ask him about it because, even though they were his brothers, Sirius was after the same girl, after all.            She had been very careful with her thoughts, not wanting Remus to realize the sad truth about their lives. She knew she was a hypocrite but couldn’t find the courage to tell them; maybe at some point, her guilt would choke her – but she wasn’t just there yet. She was wondering alone, wanting nothing more than to be able to chose happiness, but she couldn’t. She was waiting for the four boys to return after another full moon; she was waiting to make sure they were all alright. Knowing that one of them held the power to change the others’ fates, made her stomach flip, in a bad way, ominous and ever present.            She heard a pained breath across the corridor, realizing that her feet had dragged her all the way to the Hospital Wing, and rushed towards it. She felt guilty because her eyes landed on Sirius first; how could they not? No one saw her as they all made their way to Madam Pomphrey and she waited until everything was settled. Remus was silent and in a better condition than all the previous times. James was worried, Peter was anxious and Sirius looked miserable. He had a brutal bite mark on his bicep and she understood why Remus had remained silent – he blamed himself.            Madam Pomphrey insisted that Sirius should stay too but he played the brave one, diminishing the severity of it. After a while, James and Peter left – not willingly but Poppy had practically thrown them out. She heard the debate between Remus and Sirius as the first took responsibility and the second laughed and joked about it as it meant nothing. Remus rolled his eyes and she took a step back, hiding in the shadows behind the corner. He thought he saw her but wasn’t sure because he was worn out.            Not paying attention to what the two of them said, she found herself face to face with Sirius. He had dropped the façade and his face was stained with pain and surprise. She inhaled sharply but sooner rather than later, her eyes traveled to the wound and his followed the same path; he knew that it was too late to hide it and too pointless – she noticed everything and that scared him because he felt exposed in a way he had never before.            He did try to get out of it but an austere look and an arched eyebrow made him shut it. He chewed the inside of his cheek as he blushed. She didn’t know what to do but she did know that she had to help him even though he was stubborn. She quickly remembered the Room of Requirement; if he didn’t want to be seen as weak in the Hospital Wing, he would have to comply with that.            “Just follow me” she softly told him. He was taken aback; he really believed she would leave him to go and check on Remus. And she probably should have; he wasn’t the one who had kissed her, but oh, how she would have liked that.             The room was located on the seventh floor in the left corridor of the Hogwarts castle and had a hidden entrance opposite the tapestry depicting the attempt of Barnabas the Barmy to teach trolls ballet. The way to open the room was pretty simple; she had to walk past it three times thinking about what she needed, and the door would appear. However, her mind wasn’t just thinking about a place to help him, but also, a place to simply be with him.            It was to be expected, she thought. A rather spacious room, with all the things that he would need for the wound – a counter with a bowl of water and medicines, a simple bed and bandages – but with a twist; it also had a table with her favorite beer – two of them. He was impressed by the room in front of him but tried not to show it as they walked towards the counter. He eyed the two bottles and smiled with cockiness – well, at least this time, he had every right to.            “Trying to get me drunk, love?” he amused and winked at her but she kept her cool, and sat him down onto the bed, putting a little more pressure on the wound than necessary.            “I’m the one who need to be drunk right now, love” she told him nonchalantly as she raised the sleeve of his blouse only to find out exactly how extensive the wound was. He tried to smile it away, but he was hurting. She took a deep breath, went to the beers, grabbed them and gave one to him as she gulped it in big sips. She needed that extra kick for what she was about to say.            “Take off your shirt” she announced and hoped that her cheeks weren’t as red as she felt. There wasn’t that much light in the room, but it was more than enough for him to see how rigid her breath was as her chest rose and fell – and he averted his gaze faster than he thought possible. He swallowed hard as he complied – not before emptying his beer. She wasn’t surprised or… she shouldn’t have been. It wasn’t his abs or toned torso that made her stare, but his tattoos. Just like photographs, tattoos moved as well. He had a lion – the symbol of his house – tattooed on his right arm, the paws of their animagi forms on his chest and a couple of runes she didn’t know.            Solely focusing on the wound in his left arm, she zoned out and looked at it as a single body part that needed tending. There was a poisonous voice inside her head that mocked her for trying to hide her feelings while she had blatantly ignored Remus’ but tended to Sirius’ wound.  That felt nice…            She had cleaned it out, applied a generous amount of cream and covered it with a bandage when she took a look of his back and was left speechless. He had the planetary system tattooed across his spine and the planets were spinning on their axes. He saw her expression – it wasn’t excitement nor awe… it was something deeper. She closed her eyes and took a big breath.            “All set” she broke the silence as she sat down next to him but not too close. He wanted to ask her why… why she had frozen when she saw his tattoo, why she had chosen to help him instead of her boyfriend… why she had to have a boyfriend… his best friend.            “Thank you” he said instead. They didn’t know how to be with each other in the same room. There was tension – so thick, somebody could cut it with a knife. And they both knew that at some point their souls would crush and catch on fire.            He put on his shirt and stood up, finding an excuse to leave. She agreed – he had a big night and needed sleep. As he thanked her again, he couldn’t stop himself from asking her why. She didn’t answer because she would have to lie and she hated it. She just shrugged and smiled at him in a way that answered more than he had asked. He nodded and left. She fell back on the bed and sighted.             All things aside, they had the same tattoo.

__ Taglist: @nadinissavage​ @mycobrakai1972​

[nomimits7]

By chance (take note of warnings)

Title: By chance

Genre: ANGST

Warnings: Description of death(faintly), description of abuse. The boys are heartbroken. A lot of emotional shit. READ WITH CAUTION YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SO DON’T COME AT ME IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT!!!!! Also, I don’t know how to prepare you for this so good luck. Although this is a reality for many, PLEASE don’t take this personal. This is not based on any real events and suicide is never an option.

Summary: Saved by seven angels, she would and did everything to give them back what they gave up willingly for her. Even if it killed her.

A/N: I’m in one of those moods and literally almost screamed in the shower. I have no Idea how I ended up writing this, but I will apologize for it. This is my thoughts in a story form. I would say enjoy, but I don’t think that would be appropriate.

*-*

Blue eyes turning white as her life slipped away slowly. It was never her intention to hurt them, but she had to hurt them to save them. She was a bad person, or that’s what everyone kept on telling her, her whole life. She didn’t deserve the kindness these seven men gave her.

She met them by chance but that day her whole life changed, sort of. Her job at the small café was the only way she could escape the disappointing look in her parent’s eyes. They never wanted her and they sure as hell made sure she was reminded of that very fact constantly. Nothing she did was ever good enough. No high score on a final exam or a scholar ship to one of the biggest Universities could make them love her.

Her ‘friends’ only used her to get away with petty crimes. The amount of times she had to spend the night in a jail cell, just to be released the next day because she was found innocent, was way too many to count on her hands. She had no one. No love, no kind smile given out of love.

Until the day he walked in. Kim Namjoon, one of the kindest humans to ever cross her path. His dimples permanently engraved in her mind as she shyly took his order. His eyes were sharp but being use to such stares she paid it no mind. Her heart began beating a new beat. The beat of love, not romantic for she knew she’ll be dead before that could ever happen. Just pure love for life and all things beautiful. This feeling, this feeling was new, and she instantly wanted more.

But she wasn’t the greedy type. She only took what she received, nothing more but sometimes less. Returning home was always what she imagined entering hell would be like. But that day it was worse. Even if it was impossible, she was afraid that they (her parents) would steal the little warmth she finally felt away. In a way they did.

That evening she received the worst beating of her life. Not because she did something wrong, but because her mother was caught cheating with her boss and her father just needed to ‘get rid’ of some of the tension. It didn’t stop there, when her mother finally got home nothing motherly happened. There was no helping her off the floor and cleaning her fresh bruises or crying next to her only daughters’ lifeless body. no, the beating just continued.

She missed work the next day.

When she did go back, her manager helped her conceal some of the damage. The stern man knew of her situation at home but seeing her like that made his heart hurt. He could show her the door for that only meant she had to go back to ‘them’. But that’s as far as he was willing to help her.

The kind man came in that day again. Namjoon was accompanied by six others who’s names you learned to be just as unique as his. Their eyes were just as sharp as Namjoon’s, but they held surprise at her appearance. Her one eye sported a beautiful black colouration that was very poorly hidden. Her lip was busted, and her hands were bruised. Yet, even in her condition she acted as if nothing happened. Taking their orders with a shy smile and shuffling off to make them.

They took her away from her old life. They gave her a soft warm bed to sleep in. they helped treat her wounds and even got her a better paying job. She never saw her parents again, but that doesn’t mean the abuse stopped. She was labelled the ‘charity baby’, the ‘whore of BTS’, oh and of course the classic ‘money slut’.

Just as her life took a turn for the better, her two monsters turned into six. Before long the boys started taking on heat because of her. She saw the way it affected them, but they were to proud to tell her. They silently dealt with the rumours, trying and failing to keep her ears from hearing them.

She knew the day would come when they would throw her back in the corner where they found her. They would grow tired of her. Either that or they would see her for what she was. A failed abortion. A disappointment useless piece of flesh. An oxygen thief that would soon be erased from the circle of life.

Taehyung was the first to see the shift. She became distant, more timid. Yoongi even said he could see the same girl they first saw with the cuts and hopeless eyes returning. Their hands were tied and all they could do was watch her drift back to how she was. They have tried so hard, but as much as they loved their fanbase, it was toxic towards her. They just hoped she was strong enough to get through this.

The day they got called out on live television about their ‘charity case’ was the day she decided to save them. They loved their line of work with all their hearts. It was literally their whole lives. She knew they loved her to, every hug felt like drowning in a sea of endless love. She never had that, but she was the main cause of their misery and humiliation.

After much begging, their manager agreed to deliver a letter to them after their preconference. A simple letter thanking them for everything they have done. Every hug, every smile, every kiss to the forehead.

Reading the letter out loud made them smile. The manager even took it upon himself to do the honours, not trusting her enough yet. As the gratitude kept spilling out, an uneasy feeling crept into their hearts. Questions such as ‘why’ and ‘what’s the real reason’ played in their eyes as they stared at each other.

Then the last part rolled by.

‘… As hard as it may be for you and me, I need to do this to give you back the happiness my mere presence stole. On that faithful day you took me in, you gave me something I never had… love and affection. I felt alive for the first time in 20 years. But with this came a big price. You’re fanbase and employers would never except me like you did. And slowly their resent washed over to you. I had to right what I wronged and the only way I could come up with was this. I’m sorry for doing this but I did this out of love and gratitude. I will surely miss your hugs. With love XXXX’

In a flash they were out of their seats and in motion to get back to her. Calling out to her when they arrived, manager hot on them heals expressing the same concern as them. But they were to late to stop the blood. She made sure to do a good job just as her father tried, but unlike him she finished it.

The last thing they saw in her bright blue eyes was happiness. Her weak smile fading as her life slipped from her eyes. As hard as it was to admit, they knew she was free.

Their manager made to let every employee know what their actions cost the boys to lose. And he made sure to ask forgiveness from said boys. Their fandom didn’t understand why they suddenly disappeared. But there was deadly silence in said fandom when one of them finally had enough of the ‘We miss you, come back’ demands.

The last they heard from the boys was a twitter message that simply read:

‘Today I am disappointed to announce that BTS would not be resuming their work until further notice. This action is solely due to the loss of one of their close friends. Their death caused by cyber bullying would be remembered in silence. Please respect the boys. We love you XXXX’

*-*

To become a cyber bully only takes one word. Be careful what you post online about others. The internet is forever.

[iplaydrake]

Full Circle - Chapter 4 - WE'RE BROKE... SEND HELP!

Catch Up Here :

CHAPTER 3 - GOOD-BYE TO ALL THAT

Author’s Note : This story is gonna get a little dark. Suicide, Assault (both physical and sexual), Gun Violence, Blood, Swearing. Please read with caution. Positive feedback, constructive criticism, and reblogging are always welcome. I own nothing except the storyline of my MC. Everything else belongs to Pixelberry.

Pairing : (Eventually) Drake x MC

Tag List : @likethetailofacomet @carabeth @rhymesmenagerie @speedyoperarascalparty @butindeed @wannabemc2 @client-327 @jovialyouthmusic @be-still-my-aching-heart @riseandshinelittleblossom @lodberg @drakesensworld @alj4890 @jlouise88 @ao719 @andy-loves-corgis @drakewalkerisreal @whenyourheartskipsabeat @furiousherringoperatortoad @silentcoyotesong

​

She thought she had prepared herself to deal with her past, but nothing could have prepared her for the feelings she had when she saw Drake for the first time. She was proud of herself for keeping her cool, but as she walked away from him and Kiara, she suddenly felt overwhelmed. She texted Maxwell to let him know she was not feeling good and she was going back to her room to lay down. After packing her bags, she laid on her bed thinking about how she got to where she was and much to her dismay, her mind slowly drifted to that night... 

*** FLASHBACK – SWEET 16 *** 

She walked out of the bathroom and heard someone call out to her. “Happy Birthday, Lady Remington. My, don't you look... Pretty!” She couldn’t help but recoil at the tone in Madeline’s voice, but still smiled as she greeted her, Kiara, and Penelope.

“Thank you, Countess Madeline... Girls... And thank you all so much for coming to my party!” 

“Oh, of course dear! So, listen… We have a little surprise for you!”

“Really? You didn't have to. Just having you come-”

Before she could finish, Madeline grabbed her by the hand and led her outside towards the stables. It was dark and Remi could barely see anything in front of her. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she was grabbed from behind, a hand clamping down over her mouth. She began to fight as hard as she could as she recognized the voices around her, and she feared the worst at hearing Lord Neville and Tariq. She screamed for help but it was no use.

“Hurry! Get the cloth for her mouth!”

“Tariq, hold her down!”

She continued fighting, and as soon as she felt the hand lift from her mouth, she screamed with everything she had. “Drake, help-!"

She could feel Madeline’s breath near her ear as the cloth was roughly placed in her mouth, and Remi’s eyes went wide as she spoke, “Oh Duck, you can’t be THAT dumb… You think Kiara's boyfriend is going to help you? What makes you think he's not guarding the door?” 

***** END OF FLASHBACK *****

She was quickly brought out of her thoughts as Bertrand came barging into her room, Maxwell behind him with apologetic eyes. “Remington, have you forgotten where you've come from? You were incredibly rude today. These people came to your home to support you after the death of your parents and you just ignored them all day.” 

After everything she'd been through that day, that was the last straw. She did nothing to hide her anger as she slowly stood up and glared at him. “You know, you have a lot of nerve, Bertrand. Don't you DARE tell me these people, who, in case you forgot are the reason I left home to begin with, came here for me because that's bullshit and you know it!” 

“Remington watch your tone.”

“No, Bertrand! I'm not a child, and you will not scold me like one! I owe these people nothing and I’ll be damned if you think I’m going to kiss ass for-”

As she was speaking, Maxwell noticed her bags packed by the door and interrupted her. “Remi, what... Are you leaving?”

“You're damn right, I'm leaving. I'm going back to MY life in New York where I've been doing just fine without you people.” As much as it was aimed at Bertrand, she immediately regretted it as a look of hurt flashed in Maxwell's eyes. 

Before she could apologize to him, Bertrand spoke up. “You can't leave. There is an urgent family matter we need to discuss.”

“Whatever my inheritance is from Father's Estate, keep it! I've been fine without anyone’s help since I turned 18 and I'll keep being fine on my own.”

“There is no inheritance, Remington! We're broke! And this year's social season is about Prince Liam trying to find a Bride. So, you need to step up for your family and try to win his heart so some semblance of normalcy can be returned to us.”

Maxwell knew what was coming and winced involuntarily. “Are you kidding me right now?! SERIOUSLY?!” she screamed. “You haven't spoken to me in 6 years! How many times were you around when I was on the phone with Maxwell or Mother and you couldn’t even be bothered to say hello?! Hell, you didn’t even let me know you had a goddamn kid! And now, you're trying to PIMP me out so you could continue living in the 'lap of luxury' you've become accustomed to?! Well, you know what, Bertrand? GO FUCK YOURSELF!” she stormed out, leaving him stunned. As she made her way out of her room, she nearly ran right into Liam and Drake, who quickly jumped out of the way, knowing they had been caught eavesdropping. They avoided eye contact with her, each pretending to admire a painting on the wall. “Just fucking perfect.” She mumbled to herself.

Maxwell was so proud of her in that moment. He smirked and shook his head at Bertrand, before following Remi out of her room and down the hall. He knew exactly where she would be. It was her favorite spot in the whole house and at this moment he was grateful he was the only one who knew about it. As he walked past Liam and Drake, they all shared a quiet laugh at Remi's outburst. If there was any question as to whether NY was good for her confidence, she just proved it had been.

She sat with her legs dangling off the edge of the roof, shaking her head as she heard Maxwell come up behind her. She took another puff of her cigarette before putting it out on the shingles. “You know, that should have been included in one of our many conversations over the years... Along with the tattoo!” He said, motioning to the small semi-colon on her wrist.

“Tattoos... Just in the interest of full disclosure.” She said with a laugh. “And this I don’t do often, just when I'm stressed. And trust me, right now I am definitely stressed... Maxwell, I'm so sorry about what I said. I didn’t -”

“Stop! I know what you meant.” They smiled at each other before he continued. “Listen Rem, as much as I don't want to agree with Bertrand, he's right. We need you and it's not just because of the money.”

“Maxwell, you can't be serious?! You, of all people, know what I went through as a kid at court. You think I want to willingly put myself through all that again?”

“I know, but you’re not that kid anymore; there is no more “Ugly Duckling”. And hey, who knows? Maybe this is exactly what you need to help put everything behind you, to put that night behind you…” She started to interrupt, but he put his hand up, stopping her. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m here when you’re ready. I promised you in New York and I’ll promise you again. I’ll protect you this time, no matter what! You won’t be alone!” 

“I… I don't know if I can face everyone, Maxwell. Today was a lot harder than I thought it was gonna be. And to have to rub elbows with the likes of Madeline and Kiara, just to get to spend a couple of extra minutes with Liam, I-” 

“Woah, LaLaLaLaLa!” He put his fingers in his ears before continuing, “Listen, I'm the VERY LAST person that wants my best friend to be dating my sister, so let’s pretend that’s not why you’re doing this... Look at it this way: if you stay, you'll get to show everyone else up. You could use this as an opportunity to beat Madeline at something she’s convinced she’s already won! Not only that, I just got you back. I'm not ready for you to be gone again. And as for our brother? He means well… I think when you showed up 21 years ago he had no idea what to do with you!” He laughed at his own joke as he put his arm around her, pulling her close to him and she laid her head on his shoulder.

“I don't know how you keep convincing me to do things I do NOT want to do...”

His head shot up, “Really?! Does that mean you'll stay? That's so great! Let's go tell Bertrand.”

She sighed as he helped her stand up and they headed inside through the window. They walked the way they sat; His arm around her, her head on his shoulder. They stopped in the living room, noticing Bertrand talking to Liam and Drake. 

“Remington, we should continue this discussion in private.”

“No need, Bertrand, I'll stay.” He was about to interrupt when she put her hand up to stop him, before continuing. “I have a few conditions though.” He eyed her expectantly. “First of all, you are not allowed to have any expectations. I'm staying for myself, to get closure. Whatever happens, however this plays out, is on my terms. Second, you will not interfere, in anything…” Her voice had been firm until that point but softened as she continued. “Unless I need you to. And finally, me and you… We’re fixing our relationship. You must have dinner with me once a week… and we have to talk... The whole time! That’s it, it’s not up for discussion.”

She held her hand out for him to shake as an agreement of her terms and he stared at her, seeming to weigh his options. He stuck his hand out as well, but she immediately pulled him into a hug and smiled to herself as he tensed up. “Get over it, Bertrand. We’re family!”

Drake, Liam, and Maxwell watched the exchange, all feeling relief that she was staying for now. She slowly pulled back from Bertrand before turning to face everyone else. She smiled at Maxwell and Liam, but as she looked at Drake, it slowly faded and she turned to walk away. She made her way into the kitchen and opened the freezer before grabbing a pint of ice cream. She propped herself on the counter, opened the drawer in between her legs, and grabbed a spoon before digging in.

“Ahem? Can we talk?”

She looked up before rolling her eyes. “Why talk to me when Kiara is probably waiting for you in your bed…”

“I guess I deserve that... I mean, I really don’t, but...”

“Really? You don't?”

“No, I don’t… and if I do, I have no idea why. From what I remember, me and you had an understanding. I thought we were good, Remington. When Maxwell called me and told me what happened that night, it felt like my heart stopped. The next thing I knew you were gone, and I was devastated and alone and-”

She started talking over him, almost as if he hadn’t spoken a word. “I mean, looking back now, it makes complete sense… Kiara must be REALLY good in bed if you were willing to help them do that to me. Tell me something, was the "haircut" your idea?” She laughed lightly but she could feel herself on the brink of tears, and this time she was going to do nothing to stop them. “Do you want to know what I think the most disgusting thing might be, though? The fact that you hugged me… You remember that? Right before we left each other at the table, you wiped my tears and you hugged me. You’re good, Walker, I’ll give you that and you may have everyone else fooled but-” He was suddenly confused as he really listened to what she was saying, and he cut her off before she could go any further.

“Do that to you?... Wait... Do WHAT to you?! You think I…?” He fumbled again with his words and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach as he realized that all this time, she thought he had something to do with her birthday. “Remington, I... I promise you, I had nothing to do with what happened to you... I would never... You mean too much… You know me! You know-”

“No! Everything I thought I knew was wrong!” She looked right at him as she spoke through her tears, “Just tell me why, Drake... Why would you do that to me?... Why would you make me believe-... Did I mean nothing to you?” She lowered her head, her tears finally falling. He could feel himself fight his own as he slowly walked up to her, coming to a stop between her legs, and spoke quietly.

“Remington... I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you I had nothing to do with that night. I promise... Whatever it takes.” She kept her head down, but through her tears, she watched his hand pull something out of his pocket, before putting it on the counter next to where she was sitting. He hesitantly kissed the top of her head, letting his hand linger in her hair for a moment before turning to walk away. She cried harder as she picked up the slightly tattered blue Tiffany box and looked at the tag. Now more than ever, she was sure that everything she thought she knew was wrong.

Want to continue? Click below for the next chapter :

CHAPTER 5 - DRUNK HIM CAN’T GET OVER HER

[lorewytch]

Last Villain Bio

At last the final one is here! Finally, I have the bio for the worst of the worst! Everyone here is the bio Noir. Warning: Severe traumatic experiences, deaths and pure insanity lay within this post.

“Maybe one day...you’ll find humanity...”

Name: Lunnoir (Noir) Clypse

Age: 16

Hair: Long and frizzy, unkempt. Black sparkling with stars. Almost the color of the cosmos itself.

Eyes: Piercing neon green

Birthday: May 1

Sexuality: Straight

Favorite Activities: Singing, acting, collecting rocks and naming them, a rock band from her home world, sleeping, stargazing, jewelry making.

Favorite Dessert: Dark chocolate

Favorite Color: Green and black Personality: When Lore first met Noir, she was bright like her own star. She was passionate, wild, free loving and dedicated to helping her world in every way she could. She loved her family and friends dearly and even started to form a crush on a neighborhood boy. She and Lore became fast friends, her smile seemed endless and she became loyal and reliable. She looked up to Lore immensely. But after a terrible series of events and Lore was nowhere in sight, Noir felt her entire world crumble around her as she watched her friends and family senselessly murdered before her eyes. The world around her burned and through ultimate despair she ran to the only place she could. She willingly gave up what was left of her soul to possess the goddess’ powers and transformed into the Noir known today. This Noir is so drastically different. The dark goddess latched onto her soul, corrupting it beyond recognition. Filled with hatred and on the constant brink of insanity, Noir is a mix of paranoid, quick tempered, emotionless and almost maniac at times. She is vindictive and not much of her original personality remains. On rare occasions she would be seen staring at the stars and being reminded of her family nearly causes her to break down in sobs. But her ruthless pursuit of Lore is never ending and she won’t care what she destroys in her wake. She will destroy the person who was once her friend.

 Strengths: Gifted power of the stars by a dark goddess that ruled over her world, has a scepter that holds a lot of the magic. Most of her spells are cosmic based. She can bend matter to her will and literally form fire from nothing. Most magic is attack based and not much defense. Almost unlimited supply of magic. The scepter she holds can do massive damage to worlds. It can tear apart the earth around them, activate volcanoes and cause destructive fires.

Weaknesses: Weak defense, has limitations to her human body so most big spells take a lot out of her, isn’t as good at hand to hand combat, weak to traps and is gullible. You can basically use the “HEY A OBVIOUS DISTRACTION!” and she will look every single time.

 History: Noir was a normal girl, her world while in the midst of war lived in a peaceful part of the world. She felt happy and loved her life there. She hoped to become a singer when she became a adult and loved looking at the stars most nights. She noticed some strange things happening around her neighborhood though one night. She caught a strange creature that she believed was a deformed mouse. But the fact it was made entirely with water quickly dismissed that theory. The little beast tried to escape and the chase was on.

Two hours and one exhausted teen later she nearly caught the beast when a portal opened and a girl literally fell on top of her.

And then the water mouse vanished before their eyes.

Talk about awkward.

Lore and Noir began to chat and learning more about each other, Lore explained a bit about what she did. Amazed at her magic and basically everything about her, Noir began to ask a million questions and really wanted to travel with her more than anything. Lore was hesitant at first. No one had ever asked to travel with her and this made her wonder if that was even possible. It’s true she was lonely most of the time. But with her limited knowledge of how the dimensional witch thing worked.. basically learning as she traveled, she wasn’t sure if she could. Still, she didn’t want to hurt her feelings and said she would take her if she really wanted it.

But the only condition would be that she would need to leave her world for quite a while until they could come back.

Noir was torn and needed time to think about this. It was a adventure that only happened once in a lifetime, viewing other worlds. But knowing she would have to be away from home so long was hard to swallow.

She ended up talking to her caring parents about and they said whatever she wished would be fine with them. They wanted her to be happy more than anything and whatever dream she had…no matter how far away she was, she could always come home. That gave her with so much hope and light. It was amazing to see. Lore felt a pang…wishing she could have a family like that. But realizing that could never happen.

One night, Lore was showing off this scepter she found from another world. It was powerful and dangerous but she wanted to show and tell the story of how she stopped this enemy. Noir loved it and asked if she could borrow it. Lore was hesitant at first but let the girl borrow it. She showed it to her family and the boy she liked, not realizing his brother was nearby listening. His brother was a bit of a rebel, hated the world in general and didn’t like anybody.

While Noir was talking with his brother, he stole the scepter and quickly was taken over by the darkness that possessed it.

No one realized what was happening until it was too late.

Right as Lore caught the water mouse thing, the world erupted around her in flames. There was screaming everywhere and the earth itself was cracking beneath their feet. Alarmed, and worried about Noir, Lore ran around trying to find any sign of her friend.

Panic was high as the devastation lay around her. She tried to help as many as she could. But…it was far too late. Nothing could stop the raging inferno around them and a portal opened just as Lore lost her footing on what was once solid ground. Now it was literally crumbling into dust.

It was months before she could make it back to what was once that world.

Now…it was a dead world, nothing remained but a singed landscape, the world itself half the size it used to be because of so many volcanic blasts that it tore itself apart. The only survivor she found was Noir. But she was very different. As she approached, at first Noir seemed normal.

But then Lore saw the very same scepter in her hands.

She knew something was very wrong.

Noir explained what had happened when Lore left. She watched as her parents and friends burned alive, how she barely escaped death herself several times as she stumbled into a nearby cave where the shrine of the Dark Goddess of their world dwelled. Her name was Eclipse.. the shadow of all the stars. She begged the goddess to give her the power to stop this monster.

Her wish was granted at the cost of her soul, Noir didn’t care…she had nothing left but rage and sorrow. As she felt the dark goddess take hold of her, she remembered her promise with Lore and hesitated for just a moment…until the dark goddess rage consumed her and any feelings she had towards Lore morphed into a intense hatred and loathing that would not be sated until her death.

With that, Noir took on the boy who was once her friend and destroyed him, gaining the power of the scepter as well as the powers over the stars.

Realizing the danger Noir possessed, Lore tried to get the scepter away from her friend and tried to reason with her. But nothing worked. Noir attacked her relentlessly, severely wounding Lore in the process in the stomach. At the point of near death, Clix saved Lore and forcibly transported her to a random world which nearly threw the entire balance out of whack for a few minutes. Clix’s world experienced a power outage for a week because of that stunt. She didn’t want to know what happened to other worlds because of her recklessness to save her friend.

Noir started to chase Lore into different worlds…appearing and nearly tearing them apart to get to her. Lore tried multiple times to get Noir to stop. But it seemed like nothing was reaching her. Noir blamed Lore for her planet’s destruction. If Lore never had come…they would have been fine. It was that scepter that destroyed her world, Lore did nothing to stop it from happening. Noir’s twisted logic became so unbalanced, Noir herself was slowly losing herself to insanity. She would have conversations with beings that weren’t there. Certain things would set her off to where she would destroy things for someone mentioning “pie”.

On one of the final meetings with Noir.. she killed someone right in front of her friend…stating that she would destroy everything and everyone to get to her. Lore realized at that moment, that her friend.. the girl she knew was gone forever. In that horrible moment, Lore realized she needed to stop Noir with everything she had. She stopped Noir and sent her spiraling into another dimension. She couldn’t destroy her once friend. Even now she isn’t sure if she can really destroy Noir…even though she has to. If she doesn’t…more worlds and people will die. But can she really do that?!

[mycroft-silently-judges-you]

Idyllic Past vs Theoretical Future

- What Danny and Steve’s Hallucinations Reveal about How They See Themselves and Each Other -

While H50 is not a show that normally warrants a deep meta reading, the subtext, parallels, and allegories being more surface level and easily picked up on than a show like Sherlock, after an episode like 8x10, the need presents itself. In order to properly analyze 8x10 though, we have to go all the way back to 5x07.

In episode 5x07, we see Steve kidnapped and drugged by Wo Fat in what would prove to be their final confrontation. Wo Fat is in pursuit of answers regarding his father and Steve, at least at the time, genuinely did not know of his father’s location. Between bouts of being tortured, Steve is injected with a cocktail of hallucinogenic drugs that have him hallucinating a past where he envisions how the people he loves would be if they never suffered the greatest loss of their lives. In effect, he takes their pain away. This manifests itself differently for everyone involved:

Kono - Never blows out her knee surfing, so she goes pro and makes it big, to the point where she makes commercials for her endorsers

Chin - Is never believed to be a corrupt cop and rises to the rank of captain. There is even talk that he could one day become chief of police

Lou - The incident in Chicago never happens and he is only in Hawaii for a golf trip

Jenna - Her fiance is never murdered and is only in Hawaii for what is implied to be a vacation

Danny - He and Rachel never get divorced and he willingly moved his family to Hawaii

Steve - Doesn’t lose his father to Victor Hesse and only comes back to Hawaii to apprehend the man behind the failed hit on his father

Notice the massive alteration Steve made?? By taking away the greatest loss his loved ones have suffered, he made himself a non-factor in their lives and subsequent happiness. He doesn’t even meet Kono, Lou, and Jenna and only exchanges pleasantries with Chin. But aside from saving his own father, he does make one entirely selfish choice…

Danny.

By taking away the loss of his divorce, Danny has no reason to be in Hawaii, nevertheless speak of it as lovingly as he does or put everything into motion by saving Steve’s father. This speaks so deeply about what Steve wants for Danny as well as himself. He takes away the pain of Danny’s divorce, hence giving him a happy marriage so his family is still a solid unit, but he is unwilling to compromise being in Danny’s life even though he is the one of all of his loved ones that he never should have encountered in this idyllic past. Steve wants Danny to want to be in Hawaii, to choose it instead of being there against his will. He wants him to take part in the culture and loosen up a bit. But most revealing of all is that he wants Danny to want to be his partner, for Danny to ask him to be his partner instead of being ordered into a partnership. In other words, Steve wants to be in Danny’s life and he wants Danny to want him there, to pick him in the same way he picked him. That’s an incredibly powerful statement.

In contrast to Steve’s hallucinations, Danny looked to the future in 8x10. 

The episode opens with a flash forward to the restaurant’s future. Pictures of their ohana cover the entrance walls, the place is packed, Steve is happily chatting with patrons and getting some complimentary glasses of wine for a couple’s anniversary. Danny is on quality control in the kitchen, getting dishes out, and preparing a new potential dish. When Steve comes back, he gives Danny a hug and tells him it’s a full house. Danny feeds him a bite of the new dish and Steve loves it, singing him praises, which obviously pleases Danny. The restaurant soon fades away and we find out Danny’s been shot.

The next hallucination is of Grace and Will’s wedding day. It’s taking place at Steve’s house and Grace calls Danny into the room, worried that love isn’t enough for her to go through with the wedding. Danny tells her that if her experience of growing up with parents who divorced taught her anything, it should be that relationships take work and that it’s only when you don’t put work into it that they fall apart. He leaves her to collect herself and goes downstairs to get himself and Lou a beer. They talk about how they’ve raised good kids and the scene fades.

After returning to the present, the scene goes to another hallucination, this one centering around Charlie becoming a member of HPD. The scene reveals that Tani (a cop) and Junior (a SEAL) are married, Junior sporting the longer hair that Tani said would be cute on him, and they kiss. Danny sees the kiss and turns away, cringing at the sight, and Steve is revealed to also still have his longer hair, not the buzz cut that Danny protested against (he’s also revealed to be wearing colorful socks like Danny (x)). Charlie looks towards them and Danny says that he was looking at him, whereas Steve says he was looking at him because he’s his role model. They all congratulate Charlie, Tani even offering him a position on her Five-0 squad (!!), and take pics with him, Danny photobombing Steve’s.

Present time reveals that Danny’s situation is increasingly critical when he fades again, this time we see him walking towards the hospital nursery where Adam is revealed to be watching over his and Kono’s new baby girl. In a scene reminiscent of 2x14 when Steve went to comfort Danny watching over newborn Charlie, Danny comforts Adam and mentions that he needs to learn how to swaddle her. He says he’d teach Adam how to do it if it wasn’t for the gunshot wound in his chest.

Danny is finally removed from the quarantine room after Lou sledgehammers a wall down and is taken into emergency surgery. His condition further deteriorates and he flatlines on the table, the final hallucination presenting itself at this point. He’s sitting with Steve in their chairs on the beach (Steve with the full head of hair he mentioned earlier he would go to the grave with), both clearly in their 70′s or 80′s. Danny’s dozing in his chair when Steve starts talking to him, informing him that Clara called for him the previous day, but he forgot to inform him. It turns out that Clara, Danny’s granddaughter, called to inform him of her intention to attend the police academy and ask whether he would’ve changed anything in his life. He tells Steve that he told her that he wouldn’t, that he wouldn’t change a single aspect of his life. They banter back and forth and the scene fades on a shot of Steve.

It cannot be understated how important this hallucination is. In the moments before death, this is where Danny went. His mind wanted to have one final conversation with Steve, one where he makes it clear that he regrets nothing, especially him, and to hear him say “I love you” one more time. And what’s incredible is that’s only cutting the surface of it.

That final hallucinatory scene is also fascinating in that it raises more questions than it answers. Clara called Steve’s in order to talk to Danny and Steve admits that he forgot to tell him. First of all, why on earth would Danny’s granddaughter call Steve to talk to Danny? And with Steve saying that he forgot to tell him, it implies that he saw Danny before the present time. The latter could merely imply that they still go see each other nearly every day, but taking their advanced age into account, that isn’t very likely. When considering both issues though, it implies that Steve and Danny are, at the very least, living together and that Steve forgot to tell Danny Clara called because he was sleeping or working on something and it slipped his mind.

Also, why would Clara call instead of just visit? It could just mean she was too busy to stop by, but it could also imply that she doesn’t live in Hawaii. If she doesn’t live in Hawaii, was she raised by Grace and Will (I’m assuming it’s Grace’s daughter since Charlie joined HPD and would presumably still be in Hawaii) in another state? With Grace potentially having moved to another state and Charlie an adult, why didn’t Danny go back to New Jersey? You could say it’s because of the restaurant, but even that implies he made a choice. Much like Steve’s hallucination in 5x07 wanted, Danny chose Hawaii and Steve over New Jersey.

The big take away from this scene though is Danny telling Steve he wouldn’t change anything, not one aspect of his life. He’d take the divorce and heartbreak, the bullet and stab wounds, everything, to land to where he ended up. He’s content, he’s happy, with the life that he - they - created.

Weaving all these hallucinatory scenes together reveals a common, and potentially damning, thread about Danny. Specifically, there are three subjects present in every single hallucination:

His kids, marriage, and Steve.

Hallucination 1 - Grace and Charlie are one of the pictures on the wall; the couple celebrating their wedding anniversary; Steve tending to the restaurant and trying Danny’s new dish

Hallucination 2 - Has a heart-to-heart with Grace; Grace’s wedding day; the wedding is taking place on Steve’s beach

Hallucination 3 - Charlie joining HPD; Tani and Junior are married; Steve attended the ceremony with him

Hallucination 4 - Danny learned how to swaddle his babies; Adam and Kono’s marriage is still intact; the scene is reminiscent of the one when Steve comforts Danny after Charlie’s birth in 2x14

Hallucination 5 - The daughter of one of his kids called; he’s sitting with Steve on the beach

Now, when looking at the final hallucination, the marriage point isn’t as obvious as it is in the others, but then the show pulled this sneaky move:

While it seems from the short glimpses we see of Danny’s left hand that he’s not wearing a wedding ring, the lens flair on the final shot of Steve clearly draws attention to his left hand and our inability to see if Steve is wearing one. Assuming they didn’t just decide to drop the marriage thread for this final hallucination, we know something is here. When you take into account Steve being somehow present in all the other hallucinations, Steve’s admittance in 8x06 that he’d like to grow old and get married, and the complete lack of girlfriends in any hallucination, as well as no one else being present in the scene, the marriage here is clearly Steve and Danny’s.

On the heels of that revelation, we’re left to ask how serious the marriage thread here is. Their relationship has been compared to a marriage several times, Steve and Danny themselves drawing the comparison once each, so this could just be a nod to that and to us, the fandom who ships them. It’s a figurative marriage in that case, not a literal one, but that may not be what’s happening here. All the other marriages in the hallucinations have been literal ones and like I stated above, it is likely they are living together. In their old age, did they just decide living together was easier and more comforting?

Or, did they take that final step at some point and they’ve been married and living together, potentially for decades?

(also, if you’re into symbolism, smoking a pipe is an old trick to imply SMOKING a PIPE. you’re welcome)

No matter which way you cut it, Danny has come to see Steve as an integral part of his life, lovingly woven into every fiber and inextricable from himself. Much like Steve did in his hallucinations, Danny refuses to see a life without him and wants to grow old with him, bickering and bantering to their heart’s desire, maybe even living together. Their relationship permeates every aspect of his life, it being the greatest relationship he’s built outside of the ones with his children, and he wants to live out his days by his side. Whether figurative or literal, that sounds like a marriage to me, and to Danny, too.

[loroparque-orcas]

Morgan The Captive Orca – A Real Handmaid’s Tale

If she wore a red dress and a white hat would the world have more empathy for a captive, pregnant killer whale?

Unlike Offred, an imaginary female trapped in an imaginary city, enslaved to an abusive household and cheered on to escape by viewers the world over, Morgan is a very real captive killer whale held in a very real tank, within an animal entertainment themed park. Her very existence epitomises ‘‘The Handmaids Tale,’ she is likely silently screaming to her audience— “ME TOO!”

When watching the hugely popular Hulu adaptation of Margaret Atwoods’ book, we are disturbed by the scenes of subservience and ritualised rape and are empathetic to Offred’s plight in the show. But in the real world, our anthropocentric society commits similar abuses against captive marine mammals and we, the audience, sit in the stadiums with our children and cheer the spectacle on.

Whatever is silenced will clamor to be heard, though silently.

The Handmaid’s Tale is set in a dystopian society where fertile women, ‘Handmaids,’ are forced into child-bearing servitude. Quoting Laura Hudson, in her review – A Beginners Guide to The Handmaids Tale Universe: “Women are considered the property of men and are not permitted to vote, possess money of their own or read…all the women we encounter in The Handmaid’s Tale — including Offred—grew up in an America like our own, and thus have to be brutally indoctrinated into their new status as possessions, servants and walking baby incubators.”

In the real world, killer whales (or orca) like Morgan are captured for display. They too are then considered ‘property,’ and in captivity can no longer live a free and natural life. They can no longer swim great distances, dive to any real depth, hunt or feed of their own accord and they certainly can’t choose with whom they will live or breed. Their entire existence is managed by trainers in accordance with their owners’ business requirements. They become an object, a commodity, and literally die a social death.

Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse, for some.

Morgan lived in the world she knew—the ocean—free and with her family. She somehow became separated, was ‘rescued,’ and then opportunistically indoctrinated into her new status of possession; servant to the captivity industry and its patrons, and just like Offred, she too now exists as a (swimming) performing baby incubator.

Morgan – A Stolen Life In the real world, the deliberate capture of wild born killer whales is increasingly considered an unacceptable practice, and the breeding of this species is being phased out by some in the theme park industry who are listening to the public. However, when a young female orca was found alone and unwell, but well enough to keep alive for breeding purposes, Morgan became the most valuable find; a gene pool ‘bonanza’ for the captive entertainment industry.

In 2010 Morgan was taken from the wild in Netherland waters. Although underweight, Morgan was still free-swimming and she never stranded. The Dutch Government had previously issued a cetacean-wide ‘rescue, rehabilitation and release’ permit to Dolfinarium Harderwijk, which allowed the theme park to take Morgan from her ocean home.

From that moment, Morgan’s life was no longer her own; she was never rehabilitated nor released—instead she was kept in a pen that was barely large enough for her to swim, forced into training and taught how to behave in order to accommodate her keepers’ demands. She was conditioned to perform undignified tricks, providing customers more ‘bang for their buck’ when encouraged to pay for the novelty of seeing a wild killer whale up-close in a tank.

The moment of betrayal is the worst, the moment when you know beyond any doubt that you’ve been betrayed: that some other human being has wished you that much  evil.

In a travesty of justice resulting from a tangled web of governmental and regulatory loopholes along with theme park industry subterfuge, Morgan, some 18 months later, was shipped out of the Netherlands with the help of SeaWorld (a USA based company), into the hands of Loro Parque, an amusement park in Tenerife, Spain.

At Loro Parque, Morgan was put in another tank and forced to integrate with 5 captive-born SeaWorld-owned orca who were completely foreign to her. For over four years now Morgan has suffered an unnatural life; she has been made to perform demeaning behaviours in never ending theatrical shows, fed frozen fish and endured sexual pressure and continuous bullying from the male orca in the theme park pens.

A New Baby for Morgan… Praise Be! The public who patronise Loro Parque seem, for the most part, oblivious to Morgan’s suffering, her barren tank, her unnatural existence, her clown like performances—her real purpose. Families crave a day’s entertainment, promoted by an industry that presents its animals as just that. To see a killer whale up close is a bucket list item that we should all tick; families don’t see the torture. Perhaps the public is not dissimilar to the brainwashed citizens of the imaginary Gilead. They seem convinced by ‘the authority’, the industry, that these handmaids, these orca, are ‘happy’ to be used, happy to be bred. These ‘ambassadors’ will somehow help to conserve their species in the wild. Yet strangely, the public absorbing this information doesn’t ever seem to question …why then are these animals never released?

The handmaid’s purpose, Morgans purpose, despite her torture in order to achieve it, is to perform when required and to bear fruit. Morgan, in her Handmaid’s Tale has now been successfully inseminated. She is pregnant and due to give birth at any time. Some say the birth should be celebrated; her keepers say reproduction is a right of each animal, “it’s a natural behaviour,” and on the face of it this may appear true. But what of Morgan’s right to choose, what of her right to Freedom?

There is more than one kind of freedom, freedom to and freedom from.

Loro Parque admits to not knowing which of the two male orca at the park impregnated  Morgan, yet it is known that one of them is aggressive towards humans and the other is a documented killer. What this will mean for Morgan’s calf will become evident in time, but one certainty is, it will be a hybrid and so despite the conservation claims, her offspring can never be released into the wild. Morgan’s baby too will have no right to be free.

A Handmaid’s Fruit – What of Morgan’s Calf? In captivity, orca pregnancies are rare and even when births do occur, calves often die; the result of Morgan’s pregnancy is yet to be seen. Like Offred, Morgan’s subservient, and sometimes comatose existence, combined with her constant public display presents an abnormal situation, an unnatural environment within which she must bond with her first baby; she may even reject her own calf if it does survive. Her calf will be a commodity too, a new attraction to be exploited, and if female—a future handmaid in turn. Morgan, now proven to be fertile, will likely be bred again—the ultimate money-spinner for an industry driven by the business of bottom lines.

Morgan’s calf might remain with her, or her keepers may well take her away, assign her to a new ‘household,’ a new facility, another breeding program, or of course her baby may simply die. In Morgan’s captive, amusement park world, where the illusion of ‘happy families’ is key, there will be no time for her to grieve should her calf not survive, her baby will be taken from her immediately — the show must go on regardless of grief.

Ignoring isn’t the same as ignorance, you have to work at it.

Empathy Lost In A Killer Whale Show Our ability as humans to empathise with these animals does exist and was overwhelmingly demonstrated recently when a wild killer whale refused to let go of her dead baby for 17 torturous days. Undeniably going through a grieving process, Tahlequah’s anguish captured the attention of the world. We recognised her grief; we empathised with this orca, and our outpouring of sympathy to her plight was unprecedented

Yet inexplicably we seem to detach when we put these sentient animals in tanks, when we use them for our entertainment, when we make them breed to ensure the longevity of the industry, when their captive bred babies die or we remove their children from them, our empathy, our sympathy, seems to vanish along with the money we leave at the theme park gates.

We enjoy and even celebrate what we see as abhorrent-a perversion, an injustice against humans. Yet for incarcerated sentient animals, we accept this same behaviour as entertainment. We somehow disconnect from the fact that these ‘handmaids with tails’ like Morgan, don’t sign up for this ‘role,’ they’re forcefully conscripted to act as our entertainment, our ‘educational, conservational, inspirational,’ breeding tools.

Despite industry assertions that orca ‘enjoy’ performing and people believing what they are told is the truth, the reality is that these animals are not willingly working to entertain us; they are conditioned with rewards such as food to perform. Their bodies are not their own; they are made to breed and their babies will never be theirs. Their lives, their entire existence, will always be controlled by the industry, their ‘authority,’ their very real ‘Gilead’.

This is Gilead. No one gets out – Moira

#FreeMorgan

Further Information and References

Further information about Morgan’s story and ways to help please visitFree Morgan Foundation Further information about orca in captivity please visit Sea World Fact Check Further reading about Marine Mammals in Captivity Further information about Human Behaviour Change

References: All block quotes contained in this opinion piece unless otherwise noted are from Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, sourced  from Good Reads, The Handmaids Tale Quotes. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1119185-the-handmaid-s-tale?page=1 Laura Hudson, A Beginner’s Guide to The Handmaid’s Tale Universe http://www.vulture.com/2017/04/the-handmaids-tale-beginners-guide.html Telegraph UK   https://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/news/loro-parque-ends-killer-whale-orca-breeding/ The Handmaids Tale – Hulu https://www.hulu.com/press/show/the-handmaids-tale/ The Handmaids Tale – Margaret Atwood https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38447.The_Handmaid_s_Tale Free Morgan Foundation, Morgans Story http://www.freemorgan.org/morgan-2/ Keto: Frustrated and Dangerous https://whalesanctuaryproject.org/whales/keto-frustrated-dangerous/ The Trials Of Tekoa https://timzimmermann.com/2011/09/26/the-trials-of-tekoa/ Centre For Whale Research – J35 https://www.whaleresearch.com/j35

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Hexes and Charms - James Potter x Reader

Request: Can I request a James Potter imagine where the reader meet him at the diagon alley and she just hex him accidentally because she was trying her wand(I know magic is not allowed outside Hogwarts but it was before they started Hogwarts)so he basically get impressed by her skills and slowly they become good friends but when Sirius tells James that he like the reader,James feel jealous but do nothing and reader getting irritated by James's behaviour and kiss him all of sudden in middle of great hall Warnings: My English, language, idk. Gifs aren’t mine. Credits to their original owners. Also, Harry Potter Wikia. And guys I am so sorry. The semester has taken its toll on me. Word Count~1.8k MASTERLIST Pending Requests

 You had no idea why you could do some pretty weird stuff. You had absolutely no idea why you could levitate objects or why you could vanish things. You just did. At first, you tried to keep it hidden; you didn’t know why or how was something like that possible and you definitely didn’t want your parents to find out. What would they think of you? Slowly, you gained more confidence as you found out ways to use your ‘ability’ to help injured animals or even your friends. You still didn’t know how you were able to do stuff like that but that didn’t bother you anymore. Until a letter came for you. A letter from Hogwarts. What was Hogwarts? You didn’t know and you wouldn’t know if it wasn’t for Professor McGonagall. She looked strict but she was a really sweet person. The verdict was that you were a witch. Yep, a witch.

He always knew what Hogwarts was. He always knew why he could practice magic. He was born into the Wizarding World. He was a Pureblood wizard. He didn’t need McGonagall to explain or introduce him to a completely different world.

It was a miracle, a scene from the most beautiful fairy tale. Diagon Alley was a cobblestoned wizarding alley and shopping area located in London, England behind a pub called the Leaky Cauldron. Inside the alley was an assortment of restaurants, shops, and other sights. All items on the Hogwarts supply list could be bought at Diagon Alley and it was completely hidden from the Muggle world which was right outside of its boundaries. It was very large in area and essentially the center of wizarding London. And you only lived moments away, yet you had never seen it. All those colorful places and people made your head spin. It was full of life. You had bought your supplies except for your wand and that’s when McGonagall told you about Ollivander’s. He was the best wandmaker in history, according to her. When you entered there was one other kid waiting for his wand. You didn’t pay attention to him because you were too fascinated by the shop. Everywhere you looked, there were wands, wands and more wands. “This is a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration and… trouble, young man” an old man-Ollivander?- informed the black-haired boy in front of you, before his blue eyes landed on you. “But you… maybe…  Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow?” he trailed off as he gave you a wooden stick- that must be your wand, cool. You held it, unsure of what to do when he prompted you to give it a wave. Maybe he shouldn’t have. Everything made of glass was broken within a matter of seconds. He looked genuinely surprised but he nodded kindly nonetheless. “No, no. Willow is no match to your power. Maybe eleven inches, beech, flexible” he told you as he handed you another wand. It felt… better, if you could use that word for a wand but still something felt off. You gave it a wave and even though it did perform excellently, Ollivander was skeptical. “Perhaps, Alder wood with a Phoenix feather core, ten and three-quarters long and Slightly Springy flexibility”. This wand looked amazing and once you held it you realized what McGonagall had told you about the wands and their owners. You gave it a try but… blue sparks hit the black-haired boy and he started sneezing uncontrollably. Ollivander, instead of helping the boy, he smiled brightly and told you that your wand had picked you. If you were puzzled before, now you were utterly confused. After a while, the sneezing stopped and you tried to apologize but he wasn’t even listening.  It was so clear that you were a Muggle-Born and yet, you managed to perfume a non-verbal hex without even knowing the incantation. He was impressed, to say the least. “It’s fine, really. I am James, by the way” he introduced himself and you blushed slightly. “Y/N. Nice to meet you, James”. Little did you know that that particular boy was trouble and you were willingly walking its way.

It had been six years. In those six years, you had formed bonds that you knew they would last. Gradually, you had become friends with the Marauders and by the end of your third year, you were inseparable. You knew about Remus’ condition before he told you; you just waited for him to trust you enough. You knew about Peter’s awfully low self-esteem and family problems and you tried to help me as much as you could. Speaking of family, you were very well aware of Sirius’ family-issues. You weren’t sure if they deserved that name. You had been a shelter for him and his nightmares. Unfortunately, you knew about the infuriating crush James had on Lily.  You would be happy for him-you wanted to be happy- if it wasn’t for own crush on him. You hadn’t realized when you stopped seeing him as a friend and started seeing him … as more. You were already caught in the middle of it when you figured it out. But what could you do? He was so in love with Lily. No, he wasn’t in love with her, he was just… infatuated. That was not love. That was an obsession. Or so you wanted to believe. You were lost in your own world that you didn’t notice that what you have been feeling about James, someone else was experiencing it for you. That was a lie. You did notice. How he would always want to be by your side, how you were the only one he would talk to about his problems, his nightmares, his fears, his dreams… but it felt natural and you didn’t question it. Just like he knew that you would never be his because he saw the way you were looking at his best friend and as much as it hurt, he accepted it. The only thing that he could never accept was the fact that his best friend was being an arse and was trying to woo over Lily, while he should be with you and care about you and only you. Because that was what he would do. If you were his, he would never let you go. And you kind of felt that. You just happened to be at the right place, the right time. Sort of. “Well, yes -  there is something I wanna tell you” you heard Sirius’ voice coming from the empty classroom that you had just passed by as you were walking down the corridor. You halted and hid in the corner trying to peer inside the room. There wasn’t enough light to give you away but you did manage to sneak a peek. “What has you all worked up Pads?” James asked him, teasingly. The boys were brewing a potion, probably something illegal, you guessed and you were thankful that they weren’t looking at their map because you didn’t have an explanation for eavesdropping.  “Okay, here it goes. I like her. I like Y/N” he admitted and your jaw hit the floor. You didn’t know how to react, mainly because you knew but still… that was a big confirmation. How this would affect all the other aspects? You saw James furrowing his eyebrows. He was such an idiot. “Um, we all like her. She is our friend” he stated and Remus facepalmed. Yeah, you wanted to do that as well but you just waited for the realization to kick in. “That’s the thing. I don’t like her as a friend. I like her as… more” Sirius sheepishly told him, blushing lightly. He was cute and adorable and you just wished that you could feel like you felt about James, for him. How much easier would everything be? James blinked a couple of times and he opened and closed his mouth too many times, but nothing ever came out. He just stared at Sirius.  You didn’t know what to think and you left. That was something that they should deal with alone.

For the next month, things had gone from confusing to downright weird. And even more confusing. You had expected that after that night, one of them would feel obligated to tell you that they had been talking about you. But no. Nothing like that ever happened. Sirius had been even closer than before and was trying his best to avoid-yes, avoid- James while James had been acting as if he was jealous -which was impossible because Lily!- but at the same time he had grown colder towards you. You didn’t know what to believe- what had happened after you had left? Did they get into a fight? Why would they? Even when James was ignoring you, because that was what he had been doing or trying to, you still were under his charms. And you felt pathetic. Emotional rollercoaster. You had had enough. It was party time You were in the middle of your breakfast and your annoyance towards James was only growing. You were sitting right next to him and he felt colder than an iceberg. You had a long talk with Sirius last night. Everything was out in the open and you both had come clean with each other. Now it was James’ time. He was talking to everyone about everything; but you. Something was boiling- your tolerance? Perhaps. You recalled that first day you had met him-oh, how you wanted to hex him right now. Where was that sweet boy? You missed him. “What have I done to you?” you asked him out of the blue. That simple question stopped every single conversation. His eyes narrowed, his brows knitted and that familiar line appeared between them while a muscle in his jaw twitched. He didn’t respond. Your eyes drifted away from him. “Fine” you simply breather out. Within a matter of seconds, you had concocted a plan. To hell with your reputation and your dignity. And probably everything… but who cares? You grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer, turning his whole body so he could face you. And you kissed him. It wasn’t a gentle kiss. It was fierce and brutal, it was angry and desperate- and long overdue. But it was worth it. Merlin, it was worth it. You felt like fire was running through your veins as you breathed in his intoxicating scent. What surprised you was that he responded. He was kissing you back, eagerly, hungrily, almost impatiently. And if you asked him in that moment ‘what about Lily’, he would answer ‘Who’s Lily?’. And if you asked him after two years ‘What about Lily’, he would still answer ‘Who’s Lily?”. Because, with that hex, you had already won him over.

Tags: @orionsirivsblack @kapolisradomthoughts @nadinissavage

[love-god-forever]

Recovering From Betrayal in Marriage With God’s Guidance

By Zhaoyun

Editor’s Note:

What would you do if the person you love most betrayed you? In “Silently Waiting,” Amy Cheung wrote, “When you have the feeling that the person you love is unfaithful to you, you may pretend not to know. Pretending not to know is avoidance and self-deception, but it is also waiting.”

It’s true. As an abandoned woman who’s not going to make a terrible scene, the choice is to be silent and move him through love. This is giving yourself a way out, and it’s giving him an opportunity. This is how a lot of people handle betrayal by their other half. But how can you bear the bitter misery behind that silence? If your silence can’t get him to turn back, what do you do? I really understand the struggles and the suffering behind your silence and hope that today’s essay can help you.

Girl watching the lake

One Phone Call Starts a Tidal Wave

“Your husband seduced my wife and ruined my family. I’m not going to let him get away with this!”

Holding the phone in my hand, I froze, staring blankly, and didn’t come to for some time. My husband had been unfaithful? How could that be? We’d been married for more than a decade and had always maintained our feelings for each other. He had solemnly vowed to me that he would only love me for the rest of his life, and after our daughter was born he took even better care of me. Everyone was envious of what a great husband I had—how could he cheat on me now, when I’m pregnant again? No, it simply couldn’t be true!

I hurriedly hung up the phone and then it occurred to me that recently every time I came home from working the night shift, it looked like the bedding hadn’t been touched at all and my husband hadn’t been there that night. Could it be that he really had someone else, that he was taking advantage of my nights at work to find a mistress? All at once I felt incredible pain, afraid that the family we had worked so hard to build all these years was about to fall apart.

I thought to myself that I couldn’t make a big fuss, but should pretend that I didn’t know anything. Maybe my silence and patience could win his heart back. If he changed his mind, I was willing to let go of the past and make a fresh start.

The Struggle and Suffering Behind the Silence

After that, oddly, our home phone started ringing pretty frequently but if I answered the other person didn’t say anything; it was just silent. I didn’t understand—could it be that woman?

I held back my grief and anger and bore the suffering on my own, and forced myself to interact with my husband with a smile on my face. I even started doing more to care for him. But he became colder and colder toward me, often coming home late from work, and when I came home from working the night shift I saw that the bed hadn’t been disturbed. I knew that he was spending the night somewhere else. I was upset and in pain, and considering the child in my belly, I was also afraid that if I made a scene I’d just push my husband into that woman’s arms. I just silently bore his infidelity and tried to comfort myself, if I went along with him, and didn’t expose him I hoped that my tolerance would move him, and maybe he’d turn back for the sake of our child.

After a period of time passed, I wanted to mention my pregnancy to give my husband a bit of a nudge.

I asked him calmly, “I’m three months along now. Should I have this baby?”

With a look of total indifference, he shot back, “Get rid of it, don’t have it!”

In that moment it felt like a knife twisting in my heart, like the sky was about to come crashing down. Before, he had said that he wanted the second child whether it was a boy or a girl, but now he was saying he wanted me to get rid of it. He cruelly didn’t even want his own flesh and blood for that woman! Hurt, pain, a feeling of being wronged, and bewilderment all welled up in my heart. I thought back over the last ten-plus years. He had always been so loving toward me—how could his feelings just change on a dime? My suffering was immense, and I was hurting just as if a sword had pierced my chest. The tears flowed without stopping. Without an intact family, what would happen to our daughter? What about the child in my womb?

Forbearance Intensifies My Suffering

Faced with my husband’s heartless indifference left me feeling deflated. When I thought of how unconcerned my husband already was with our family, I figured having the child would just lead to more pain. Steeling myself against the suffering, I had an abortion. I became very weak after the abortion and since my husband never came home and there was no one to look after me, I ended up with a gynecological condition. The torment of my condition as well as my husband’s indifference left me speechless with pain. I kept thinking back: Over our decade-plus, I’d never lost my temper with my husband, so why would he betray me? How could he be so lacking in conscience? What was it that I had done wrong? The more I thought about it the more I suffered. I hated my husband’s heartlessness, and I particularly hated that woman.

I was constantly in low spirits and couldn’t help but start quietly crying as soon as I thought of my husband’s affair. Afraid of being mocked, I didn’t dare tell anyone about it, but just forced myself to keep smiling all the time. But there was a tremendous pressure on my heart and I really felt like I’d be better off dead. But so that my daughter could have a complete family and because I couldn’t dare to let go of what we’d had all those years, I tried to maintain contact with him, hoping to win back his heart.

One night I said to my husband sincerely, “We’ve been together for over a decade and we’ve always been happy together. Why did you get involved with that woman? If she’s better than I am in every way and you’re certain you want to be with her, I’m willing to get a divorce.”

“I’m not getting a divorce; you’re a good wife.”

I urged him, “If you say that, then we should make a fresh start and you should stop seeing her.”

He didn’t utter a word but just turned and walked off, then went to sleep. Seeing he had no intention of turning back, I once again emotionally hit rock bottom. I was both sad and angry that he didn’t want to get a divorce but still was unwilling to leave that woman—how had he become so immoral? Why did that woman seduce my husband and destroy our home? The more I thought about it the more the hatred in my heart grew and I even thought about getting revenge on her. I gave up on that thought out of fear that it would strip up trouble that could impact my daughter. But in the end, all of my forbearance couldn’t win my husband back—he ran off with that woman, leaving me and my daughter with just each other to rely on.

God’s Salvation Comes to Me When I am in Torment

My daughter was in middle school at that time; I just had a job at the factory to earn money for her education, so we lived a pretty simple live. Every time I thought my husband’s cruelty and selfishness and how he had abandoned his wife and child for that woman, only caring about enjoying his own self-indulgent day, my hatred for him grew and grew and I even thought about finding another male companion to get my revenge. I dispensed with that idea when I thought about how it would hurt my daughter. But my husband’s betrayal loomed over my heart, becoming pain that never went away. There was no one to talk to about it; I just swallowed all of it, spending every day in torment. I couldn’t help but look up to the sky and exclaim: “When will this all finally end? Who can come save me?”

Then one day, I had the good fortune of accepting God’s salvation of the last days. I read these words of God, “One after another, all these trends carry an evil influence that continually degenerates man, causing them to continually lose conscience, humanity and reason, and that lowers their morals and their quality of character more and more, to the extent that we can even say the majority of people now have no integrity, no humanity, neither do they have any conscience, much less any reason. So what are these trends? You cannot see these trends with the naked eye. When the wind of a trend blows through, perhaps only a small number of people will become the trendsetters. They start off doing this kind of thing, accepting this kind of idea or this kind of perspective. The majority of people, however, in the midst of their unawareness, will still be continually infected, assimilated and attracted by this kind of trend, until they all unknowingly and involuntarily accept it, and are all submerged in and controlled by it. For man who is not of sound body and mind, who never knows what is truth, who cannot tell the difference between positive and negative things, these kinds of trends one after another make them all willingly accept these trends, the life view and values that come from Satan. They accept what Satan tells them on how to approach life and the way to live that Satan ‘bestows’ on them. They have not the strength, neither do they have the ability, much less the awareness to resist.”

I saw from this passage of God’s words that societal trends are a tactic, a means that Satan uses to corrupt mankind. In today’s society, a lot of men have been poisoned by the evil fallacies “The red flag at home does not fall, the colored flags outside flutter in the breeze,” and “Don’t ask for eternity, be happy with now.” They brazenly engage in extramarital affairs, and plenty of women don’t feel any shame in being someone’s mistress. Rather, they think of themselves as possessing charm and skill; they’ve completely lost the conscience and reason that a proper person should possess. I thought of how my husband started out as an honest, kind man who cared for this family, but he had become a selfish, evil person who discarded with his wife and child, and broke up someone else’s home. Didn’t that come of being inculcated with Satan’s evil thinking and being deceived? I thought of my neighbor, too. They divorced after her husband had an affair. Plus there was my aunt who started seeing someone else and then didn’t want to stay with my uncle anymore—they ended up divorcing, too. Their homes had once been full of warmth, but had been split apart because of the infidelity of their partners, bringing harm to their children. I could see how Satan uses evil trends to mislead and corrupt people, leading them to seek excitement and indulge their lust, doing things contrary to morality and ethics. All this does is bring about corruption and suffering. I thought of how after my husband started going along with the evil trends of Satan and betrayed me, he wasn’t particularly happy with that woman—they were always arguing and even fighting. One time I saw marks on his body when he came back. My husband was just another victim of those evil trends, thinking that being involved with someone else would make him look good, that it would make him happy. But instead, he was living within Satan’s web, corrupted and manipulated by it. I used to always think of it as my husband betraying me and that I was the one living in pain and so I harbored hatred for him and the other woman, but by reading God’s words I understood that the root of all this suffering is in the evil trends given rise to by Satan. People are deceived from being inculcated with that evil thinking, and only then do they become so corrupt and depraved that they lose all morality and know no shame.

Experiencing God’s Covert Love

Later, I saw more of God’s words: “Whenever Satan corrupts man or engages in unbridled harm, God does not stand idly by, neither does He brush aside or turn a blind eye to those He has chosen. All that Satan does is perfectly clear and understood by God. No matter what Satan does, no matter what trend it causes to arise, God knows all that Satan is trying to do, and God does not give up on those He has chosen. Instead, without attracting any attention, secretly, silently, God does everything that is necessary. When God begins work on someone, when He has chosen someone, He does not proclaim it to anyone, nor does He proclaim it to Satan, much less make any grand gesture. He just very quietly, very naturally does what is necessary.”

Reading this really warmed my heart. Even though Satan is constantly corrupting and harming us, God doesn’t just sit idly by. He knows that we humans are ignorant and pitiable, so He is always quietly protecting us, those He wants to save. He Himself has also become flesh and come to walk among us, expressing truths to give us sustenance so that we can gain discernment over Satan’s various means and tactics of corrupting mankind. Thus, we can distance ourselves from Satan’s corruption and harm—all of this is God’s sincere love. I thought of how after my husband started his affair, I was living in a constant state of pain from my hatred for him and his mistress and even had thoughts of taking revenge on her as well as getting involved with another man to take revenge on my husband. It was only through God’s protection that I didn’t do anything like that. In addition, when I was living lost in pain and despair from my husband’s infidelity, God brought me before Him, comforting and enlightening me with His words. He allowed me to have discernment over the evil trends stirred up by Satan to harm mankind, and to understand the root of my husband’s betrayal of me. This lessened the pain in my soul. Every single one of these things was God’s love and protection for me!

My heart started to feel warm—I knew that God had always been by my side watching over me, and when Satan was about to swallow me whole, God brought me before Him, and He led me out from the pain of my husband’s betrayal. Though I had lost my husband’s love, I had gained the love of the Creator. Being able to come before God and live in the light of God’s words now, I have a kind of peace and joy in my soul that I’ve never had before. This is the most precious thing.

My Silence Now Is Understanding and Calm

Later, I saw a passage of a sermon about life entry: “Look at those people in the world who don’t have the truth. How much suffering do they have in their hearts? There is too much suffering, isn’t it? You need to know the root cause for all the suffering in life—Satan. You are always corrupted by Satan and you don’t gain the truth, so you suffer. It is caused by the corruption of Satan. If you pursue the truth, you will be able to resolve these corruptions, and be able to sever the root of Satan’s corruption. Eventually, you will be able to shake off Satan, break away from Satan’s influence and receive salvation. Therefore, you can be saved by pursuing the truth. The meaning in it is too profound. You see that when a man has the truth within, he has no difficulties in whatever he sees, whatever he thinks and whatever he encounters. Without difficulties or constraints, everything is simple and easy. He is not distressed or worried because of one thing or another. His mind is emancipated and free. Therefore, there is almost no suffering in any aspect when one pursues the truth. The more he pursues, the brighter he becomes within”

I gained a bit of understanding from reading this fellowship. Before I didn’t understand the truth, when I saw that my husband was having an affair I thought I could win his heart back through silence and tolerance. But when I saw that everything I had done was just useless toil, I blamed my unluckiness in life and my husband’s lack of a conscience, suffering through each and every day, always washing my face with tears. Now I understand that after we humans are corrupted by Satan, we all have corrupt dispositions such as selfishness and evil, and there is no genuine love between people. Only God has genuine love for people, and only God is worth seeking. Now, by attending gatherings and reading God’s words more and more, I’ve come to understand some truths and have seen these issues more clearly. I know that my husband and that woman were also victims who were taken in by evil trends, and I’ve let go of so much of my hatred for them. I’ve also become willing to forgive them. Now when my husband occasionally returns home I have a normal conversation with him, he gives me a bit of money for the household expenses, and then he leaves. I no longer make demands on or care too much about whether he cares for me or not. Instead, I put more time and effort into seeking the truth. I live a life of the church with the brothers and sisters; there are no barriers between us, and we work together to fulfill our duties. My life now is so free, so open—hope has been reignited in my life. I know that all of this is God’s love and salvation for me. I give thanks to God for guiding me to cast off the pain of my husband’s betrayal and to embark on the right path in life, finding true happiness.

Conclusion:

When the person you love most betrays you, and when your silence and tolerance cannot win their heart back, you need God’s words and guidance. That’s the only way to find the courage to face it and be able to clearly see the truth, to gain a true sense of calm and be able to welcome the light.

[sonofkrabkrab]

How I think the LWA finale should go (Warning: Contains spoilers as well as contains a bit of Dianakko/Charoix)

(I am sorry this went on for so long)

*Akko stands in front of the Grand Triskelion, Diana beside her. Behind them stands Green Team as well as the remainders of Blue and Red Teams. In the far back, Ursula stands with Croix in tow* 

Akko: Everyone, thank you for believing in me. You all helped me become who I am today and I promise I will become a splendid witch and make all your dreams come true!

Diana: Once we open the Grand Triskelion, there will be an overabundance of magic, the likes of which the world has never seen. All of you made this possible, so Akko and I thought it best that we share this moment with you. Akko, would you like to say a few words before we begin?

Akko: Sure! First, Lotte, you taught me to be true to myself and have faith, even when things didn’t go my way. Whenever I had a hard time, you were always there to cheer me up and tell me to keep fighting. Also, you were my first friend that I made when I came here, and you have stuck with me all this time. I may not have shown it, but I have always been really grateful for that.

Lotte: Oh Akko, thank you! You’ve taught me so much as well! I am so happy to call you my friend! *She starts to tear up*

Akko: You’re welcome!

Next, Sucy. You are so mysterious and I can never really read you, but I love that about you. At the end of the day you don’t care what anyone says or thinks about you, and I like to think you’ve taught me about that as well.

Sucy: Sure thing

Akko: I know I don’t say it much but you two are my best friends and I love you both so much. Thank you for being there for me!

Lotte: We love you too!

Sucy: Idiot...

Akko: Amanda, Jasna, Constanze, thank you all for being there for me too. I know we didn’t get to hang out all that much, but I enjoyed every moment with you guys! Amanda, you taught me to get the best out of every moment and live life to the fullest. You’re like the big sister I never had!

Amanda: Aw, shucks *Amanda rubs the back of her head*

Akko: Jasna, you don’t say much, but you are always there with a bright smile when your friends need you. You taught me to be willing to do whatever I can, no matter what, to help out those in need!

Jasna: You are very welcome!

Akko: Constance, the things I love most about you is your determination and passion. You taught me that I should never give up until I achieve my dreams, even if it seems impossible.

Constanze: *Smiles and gives her a thumbs up*

*Akko nudges Diana*

Diana: O-of course. *Ahem* Hannah, Barbara, you have been by my side since the beginning and I glad to have know you. I am sure there were times that I was hard on you, but I hope you know that-

Hannah: We know you were doing that to help us! 

Barbara: Right, that’s just who you are.

Hannah: Exactly! Diana Cavendish works hard to make sure everyone is doing their best!

Barbara: Yeah, that’s what friends do, right?

Diana: You..really consider me your friend?

Hannah: Not just any friend!

Barbara: You’re our

*Hannah and Barbara share glances*

Hannah and Barbar: BEST FRIEND!

Diana: You two...are my best friends as well!

*Diana hugs them both, shocking them at first, but then they both return the hug*

Akko: Um...do you mind if I join in?

*Hannah and Barbara look at each other and then back to Akko*

Hannah: You did bring Diana back, so sure

Barbara: I don’t know what we’d do without her!

Hannah: Also, sorry for bullying you

Barbara: Yeah, sorry Akko

Akko: Thanks guys.

*Diana blushed, this being the first time she had been shown this much affection in a long time. Before she could say anything, Amanda spoke up*

Amanda: Well WE owe Diana for helping us find Akko!

*Green Team joins the hug*

Lotte: Doesn’t that look fun, Sucy?

Sucy: Meh

*Lotte drags Sucy into the hug against her will, arms crossed and groaning. Diana looks around at everyone, and then spots Akko’s big dumb grin and can’t help but start giggling. Hannah and Barbara share shocked looks, as this is the first time they’ve ever seen Diana this happy. Though, soon enough, they just smile and look on, both happy for their friend. We cut to Ursula and Croix in the back*

Ursula: I...I’m sorry

Croix: What?

Ursula: I’m sorry, for everything.

Croix: Idiot, I should be the one to apologize. It was my jealousy that tore us apart and almost cost us everything...

Ursula: Yes, but I was so wrapped up in finding the words that I didn’t even stop to consider how you-

Croix: I should have been happy for you. I could have helped you instead of...well, you know...

Ursula: I guess we both are partly to blame...

Croix: I guess so..

*silence*

Ursula: Do...do you think maybe one day you could forgive me?

Croix: Well, could you forgive me?

Ursula: Perhaps. Do you think one day we could go back to the way things were?

Croix: Perhaps.

*Silence*

Croix: She’s calling you, Chariot.

Ursula: What?

Akko: Ursula-sensei, come join us!!!

Ursula: Should I?

Croix: That’s up to you.

*Ursula starts to walk forward, then casts a glance back at Croix*

Croix: Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Besides, even if I did, I am in no condition to fight any more. I’ll be right here.

*Croix smiles and nudges Ursula forward. Ursula smiles back and continues towards the group, looking down*

Croix, to herself: Besides, you deserve this more than me. It’s your dream, after all. I lost that chance long ago...

*Ursula makes her way over to where Akko is standing. She is now a bit a ways from the group, having gotten behind them to yell to her teacher*

Ursula: Akko, are you sure about this? I mean after all, it was I who-

Akko: Sensei, you are the whole reason I am here. This would be meaningless without you. Besides, this was your dream too, right?

*Ursula’s eyes widened at the realization that Akko held no grudge against her. Her precious student, who she unknowingly stole magic from all those years ago, whom she was sure rejected her after finding out the truth, now looked at her with the same acceptance and adoration that she always had while mentioning her idol*

Ursula: Akko, I’m..I mean, I shouldn’t...

Akko: I know you didn’t do it on purpose. The Chariot I know and love would never do anything to hurt anyone willingly. You are my hero, and I am so happy to have met you. I know it must have been hard but I want you to know that it was an honor being your student.

*Ursula had been so scared of what Akko would think of her, what she would say. The guilt over finding out she was responsible for Akko’s condition caused her become depressed, but she strove on, holding out hope that one day her magic would return. Without realizing it, Akko had become like a daughter to her.

She had always wanted to tell her who she really was, find the right time to explain why she did what she did, and apologize for everything. In the end, Croix had stolen that from her, but despite all that, here Akko was, calling her back as if nothing had happened. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Akko and pulled her close*

Ursula: Thank you, you were the best student I ever had. You taught me more than you’ll ever know. I am so proud of you.

*As Ursula hugged Akko, she found herself stroking her student’s hair. After relishing the moment for what seemed like hours, Akko finally broke the silence*

Akko: Sensei?

Ursula: Yes?

Akko: What will happen to Croix-sensei?

Ursula: Oh don’t worry about her. I will see to her reeducation myself. She won’t be trying anything like that again.

Akko: So, she’s not in trouble?

Ursula: Oh she’s in trouble alright, but she’ll be fine.

Akko: That’s good. Say, do you think she could join us too?

*Akko looked up at her mentor, and idol, and waited for her to speak, as she always did, hanging on every word*

Ursula: You are the owner of the rod now, Akko. Only you can make that decision.

*Akko thought for a minute and then ran over to Croix*

Akko: Croix-sensei, would you like to join us?

Croix: You want me to join you after everything I’ve done?

Akko: Why not? You’re not going to do anything bad any more, right?

Croix: Well, I wasn’t planning to, but I don’t-

Akko: Then why not?

*Croix looked deep into Akko’s eyes and for just a moment, saw a glimpse of the girl she used to admire. She looked up, only to see those same eyes looking back at her from the woman that girl had become*

Croix: You know, you remind me a lot of her

Akko: Who?

Croix: Chariot.

Akko: Really?!

Croix: Yes. You both share a lot in common. Back then, I looked up to her almost as much as you do now. You probably know this already, but we were on the same team together. However, when the Claiomh Solais chose Chariot instead of me, well...I should have been happy for her, but I was jealous. 

Akko: Why?

Croix: Well, before she was chosen, we were the best of friends and did everything together. But afterwards, it was all about finding the words. I wanted to help, but when I reached out to touch Claiomh Solais, it rejected me completely. I helped her as much as I could, but little by little I started blaming Chariot for something she had no control over. After she found the sixth word however, everything changed.

Akko: What happened?

Croix: Chariot tried everything she could to revive the seventh word, but nothing she did worked. Eventually, she became Shiny Chariot to make as many people smile as possible, thinking that might have something to do with it. However, the people that saw her shows demanded bigger and grander magic, something Chariot was not capable of in her current state. I had been trying to discover a way to open the Grand Triskelion on my own and began researching turning emotions into energy. I told her that she could possibly do the same with dreams.

Akko: And that was Dream Fuel Spirit?

Croix: Correct. I had miscalculated how powerful that kind of energy could be and did not tell her what side effects it could have. Chariot used Dream Fuel Spirit and not only did she lose ownership of Claiomh Solais, but she lost control of the energy and damaged the moon in the process.

Akko: So that’s why the moon...

Croix: That mark was made as a result of Dream Fuel Spirit. After that, I began furthering my own research and Chariot, I assume as a way to make amends for what she did as well as seclude herself from the public eye, enrolled at Luna Nova. However, when you showed up, she probably saw a lot of her old self in you. She probably took you on as a mentor so that she could help you achieve what she couldn’t. I should have seen the error of my ways back then but I was just too stubborn.

Akko: Well, that settles it then.

Croix: Hmm?

Akko: That is all the more reason you should join us! This can be your first step at making amends for what you’ve done. Plus, it seems we both have something in common!

Croix: Oh, and what is that?

Akko: We both have someone we love who we look up to and admire!

*Akko gives her famous smile and as Croix looks up she sees Ursula giving that same smile*

Croix: I believe you might be right about that.

*Croix takes Akko’s hand as she leads her back to the rest of the group. Akko joins Diana up front*

Diana: You never cease to amaze me, Akko.

Akko: I never cease to amaze me either, hehe

*Diana holds up the Shiny Rod where everyone can reach it. Akko reaches over and grabs hold of it, her hand grazing Diana’s. One by one, everyone takes hold until Ursula and Croix remain*

Ursula: Do you think we are worthy of this, after everything we’ve done?

Croix: Do you trust her judgement?

Ursula: I do.

Croix: Then we’ll be fine. You first.

Ursula: Very well, but you’re getting a stern talking to when we get back.

Croix: Can we stop for some ramen on the way? I’m starving.

Ursula: Is that all you ever eat?

Croix: No...yes

Ursula: Fine, but it’s your treat.

Croix: No promises.

*Ursula reaches her hand out, nervously, but still determined. She grabs the rod, and after a moment, breathes a sigh of relief*

Ursula: There, see? Nothing to it.

Croix: Ok...I trust you.

*Croix reaches slowly toward the rod. For a brief moment, her mind flashes back to when she tried to touch it all those years ago. Her reflexes snap her eyes shut and tense her muscles, expecting the pain they still remember. Instead, something warm covers her hand. She opens her eyes slightly and sees Ursula’s hand grasping her own*

Ursula: Don’t worry, I’m right here. Besides, you deserve this just as much as me. It’s your dream too, right?

Croix: I don’t deserve this or you

Ursula: Too bad, you’re stuck with me.

*Ursula gently places their hands on the Shiny Rod. It feels cold and yet strangely, warm. Croix starts to tear up, unable to contain herself*

Croix: After all this time, it turns out the most powerful emotion of them all...was joy.

Ursula: So what you’re saying is...friendship is magic?

*Croix doesn’t have to look at Ursula, she knows what look she’s giving her*

Croix: Shut up, you damn nerd.

Ursula: Welcome back, Croix

*Cut back to Akko and Diana*

Akko: Well, this is it.

Diana: Indeed. With this, we will be ensuring the future of not only Luna Nova, but generations of future witches as well. Magic will not die out, but flourish instead.

Akko: This isn’t the end for me either. I know now that it is possible to gain back my magic. I promise that I will try even harder every day to become a splendid witch and make the whole world smile with my magic!

*As Akko spoke, Diana gazed on, captivated by her words. When Akko first came to Luna Nova, Diana found her annoying, frustrating, and unbecoming of a witch. But over time, she started looking deeper, and found something else. Something she thought was lost to her, something she could never regain.

Akko was the embodiment of joy. Diana had known joy once. It was being with her mother, it was the emotion she felt when she saw Chariot perform, and it was what made her fall in love with magic in the first place, or at least, what magic was supposed to be.

After losing her mother and her dream, she thought she had lost her joy as well. However, unbeknownst to her, she had merely locked it away inside her heart, where it lay dormant to this day. She need only find the key to unlock it. That key was now standing beside her, smiling to the heavens. She would make her own destiny, forge her own path, and it was all because of this golden ray of sunshine*

Diana: Thank you, Akko

Akko: For what?

Diana: For everything.

*Diana slipped her fingers between Akko’s, making her turn bright red, and held on like her life depended on it*

Akko: Y-You’re welcome, D-Diana!

*Diana felt a tiny ping in her heart as Akko said her name and she thought to herself, for just a moment, that making Akko flustered was kind of fun. She then remembered the task at hand, and shelved that thought for another day*

Akko: A-Alright, everyone, on the count of three!

One!

Two!

Three!

*All at once, they spoke the Seventh and final word. The seal on the Grand Triskelion broke and a blinding flash of light erupted forth, bathing the world for years to come* THE END.

I dedicate this to @hanasaku-shijin and @theneonflower. Hana’s stories are amazing and Neon’s art is just as amazing so you should definitely check them both out and send them some love.

Like I said, this is my version of what I would like to see happen in the finale. If you read all of that, I am sorry and I hope you at least found it a little entertaining. Anyway, that’s it for me, goodnight.

[toooldforthis76]

In regards to Vegeta being “Father of the year”

I came across someone else’s blog who was really pretty disgusted that some people feel that Goku is unable to feel love with any depth beyond companionship and that so many people paint Vegeta as “father of the year” after spending so much time pushing Trunks away, verbally abusing him, disavowing him as a son until he demonstrated his power against Cell.  I don’t mean to do the passive aggressive thing by not answering someone directly, but I don’t really know anyone out here on tumblr and it’s not my place to barge into someone else’s conversation—I’m not some dbz expert, hell I only started watching the show and reading the manga within the last year or so, but I want to make a point about why *I* feel, just me, just a fan, that she is RIGHT but is maybe still skipping over the primary reason why Vegeta’s eventual *turn* to father-of-the-year was so utterly satisfying to fans.  Let’s be clear: 1.  To Goku’s defense, he and ChiChi have a very traditional love.  They met as children.  They had a courtship.  They married. They cohabitated.  Then they had kids.  

Guys, this seriously did not happen with Vegeta & Bulma.

Placing my head cannon aside and placing the generally accepted headcannon aside, the manga and the anime both make it pretty clear that Trunks came about as a result of physical passion.  It could have been a one night stand, it could have been a friends-with-benefits type situation, either way we will never really know for sure unless Toriyama decides to pen that side of the story, but in any case, Trunks is what Vegeta accuses Gohan of being during the Saiyan saga:  a half breed welp by an insignificant human female . . . a bastard.  

2.  Vegeta does not acknowledge Trunks as his son because he is, emotionally speaking, a narcissist.  Even after seeing what Future is capable of, and realizing that Future is the grown-up version of his bastard child with this earth woman, he refuses to acknowledge either the baby or the teen until the teen had something worthy of taking credit for—which is exactly what a narcissistic parent does, you are not worth until you achieve something that strokes their pride.  We see a toxic kind of companionship between father & son during the semi-perfect Cell saga because Trunks is so desperate for his father’s love that he plays along with this idea of being little more than an extension of his father.  He does this to such an extreme that although he has the ability to jump in and help his father while he’s getting his ass thoroughly kicked by cell, he waits until his father is knocked out before taking action.  He says it is because he knows how important pride is to his father and wants to protect it, but ultimately I think Trunks does not want to lose what precious little love he’s gained from his emotionally dysfunctional father.  

3.  the chains of narcissm could have very easily have continued had both Future and Goku not been killed by Cell at the end of the Cell games.  Future getting killed by Cell was shattering, but the fact that Goku was also killed by the monster that Vegeta willingly allowed to grow perhaps hit that soul-wound a little deeper because not only had Vegeta lost his direct bloodline legacy, he had also lost the last of what would have been one of his “subjects” had they still lived on their home planet. I don’t really want to say much more about this because it may undermine what I’m trying to do with my own fanfiction, but when you think about the way King Vegeta lost the planet to Frieza, you get a real sense that Prince Vegeta must have really resented his father on some level for allowing Frieza to fester until he was damn near impossible to kill . . . Prince Vegeta did the exact same thing with Cell, only, he has to suffer to live with the aftermath.  

I am no warrior, and I will never fight again  

4.  So we reach the Buu saga . . . and Vegeta, Bulma and Trunks are now living together as a family.  We don’t know that they have a healthy family relationship, but they are living together.  There is a scene where Trunks is in the gravity room with his father, who is very much annoyed by his presence until Trunks demonstrates that he is able to go Super Saiyan.  Vegeta is so surprised by this that he pauses his training to acknowledge his child and levels him a challenge.  If you land one punch on me I’ll take you to that park you’re always going on about.  –still very narcissistic, right?  But there’s a humbled quality to it as well . . . keep with me on this point . . .  Trunks DOES manage to land a blow, and Vegeta promptly strikes back.  He HITS his CHILD in the face—I never said I wouldn’t strike back—but Trunks is still happy because he’s going to get to go to this park with his dad.  Guys, this is EXACTLY how people with specific emotional dysfuctions such as narcissim and sado maschoism are formed in life.  When your source of love always comes with conditions or your source of love is deceptive to you or your source of love is manipulative, then it becomes greatly unsatisfying to receive love WITHOUT those twisted caveots later in life. But I digress.  My point is that Vegeta hasn’t bee “cured”, but BUT because he is perhaps still traumatized by the loss of his adult son by the actions of his own pride, he dials it down a notch and doesn’t take delight in having shown his dominance over this bastard that has caused him so much loss of pride in life, but agrees to do something “fatherly”.  And when Trunks is named jr champion of the world martial arts tournament, we see just for a second in the Anime a look of acknowledgement and pride as Vegeta pauses eating just long enough to listen carefully to what’s being said about the fight.

Then Bidibi happens.    

Bidibi knows . . . that the old Vegeta is just beneath the surface, and here’s the thing about psychological dysfuction:  it feels GOOD sometimes, to slide back into old patterns of thinking . . . because it’s very vindicating.  Those old demons don’t like being told that they were no good.  Nobody really wants to have a past that they’re ashamed of—they want to be justified in the way that they are, and when you think about how hard it is for a narcissist to admit their faults, it must be doubly true for them because they have such a deep need to be perfect.  It’s funny how, when Bidibi casts this spell to turn Vegeta Maijin, Vegeta isn’t under Bidibi’s complete control as Bidibi anticipated, probably because Vegeta’s old demons have a score to settle against those that tried to prove them wrong.  It feels GOOD to be evil, it feels good to be VINDICATED in your evil, but here the whole planet is starting to suffer . . . and Vegeta perhaps starts to see that pattern happening all over again with this planet he has come to call home.  Is he going to let earth be destroyed the same way his father allowed their Planet to become destroyed?  Could he do this in front of the son that he let down as an adult ? Can he let go of all those life lessons so easily over his love for power?  He could have . . . he owes no real allegence to the earth . . . but he’s also nothing and no one’s slave, including to that of his own pride.  His pride wants this power, but his soul wants freedom (as most souls do), so he holds the child who has been such a catalyst for so much healing in his life.  He protects him by knocking him out, knowing that Trunks, in that exact moment, is really wrestling with his own pride [dad knock it off, you’re embarrassing me], he asks piccolo if he’ll have a 2nd chance in the afterlife and piccolo flatly tells him no, that he’s going to hell for all the horrible things he’s done, and Vegeta. Does. It. Anyway. – because he has finally conquered that one thing in life that was his true adversary:  himself.    

5.  Potara fusion happens . . . and there’s a very interesting article that you can find here  http://www.kanzenshuu.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=27546  that really illustrates the point that Vegeta changes after fusion with Goku , but I think this is also a kind of “spiritual cementing” of the fact that Vegeta is in fact in the process of being forgiven for his past transgressions.  He is still “in the bardo” during this time, and if you notice, this sequence where they are inside of Buu and the earth is gone and everyone they love is gone, is actually kind of light-hearted compared to the rest of the saga.  In buddhism there is this concept that we create a lot of our own suffering by taking out lives so seriously—we all walk around like WE are Goku and that WE have to save the world . . . well here is Vegeta, who has fused with the big dumb oaf, and maybe begins to see him as not being so frustratingly flawless afterwards. He still has anger towards Goku but he also has some modicum of pity,  probably because so many people have so many expectations of Kakarot, yet he really is just this free spirit with no real intentions of being a savior.

6.  And then we get to super, where father-of-the-year Vegeta is really in full swing, because he’s not just a father figure to Trunks, he’s a father figure to EVERYONE including Goku at a certain level, which is extraordinarily sweet because Goku never had a Saiyan father [I’m excluding the movies here guys, sorry].  Vegeta had a Saiyan father.  And because he was brought up as royalty, he has a memory of what it means to be a Saiyan in the highest sense of their culture, their fashion, their cultures, their customs . . . Now that he LITERALLY knows Goku inside and out, and he has conquered his pride AND he no longers harbors a serious need to prove himself better, Vegeta can be that fatherly figure that Goku maybe subconsciously needs him to be.  It’s very telling that Vegeta was the one that Whis chose to be an apprentice *first*. It’s very telling that Bulla came along during Vegeta’s apprenticeship because he is not done with his mission here on earth.  The thing that frightens me a great deal, however, is that Whis and Beerus are grooming him to be what they want him to be, and as these new “boogie back” credits seem to be indicating, I believe that he is going to leave that baby and go off to war by their command.  I guess we will have to leave that up to speculation for the time being, but he has such a sharp sense of “protection” now that he may not be satisfied until all threats to his little Eschallotte are obliterated . . . because he can’t depend on Goku’s dumb ass to do it <jk> sorry Goku-peeps  

 So this is kind of my take on the whole why-is-Vegeta-suddenly-father-of-the-year argument going around Tumblr this week. Feel free to leave a comment and read my Fan Fiction “Earth Vermin” on AO3 :)  [Shamless self promotion I know but what the hell]  http://archiveofourown.org/works/9672212/chapters/21847091