#and to let nancy see it all — even the worst part — was something i really needed

[ninacarstairss]

last time i cried this hard at a 911 lone star episode was the wedding and i left those 40 minutes a lot happier than i am now

[queenimmadolla]

𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃

(dad!eddie x mom/pregnant!reader)

*NOT Mature, SFW — incorrectly flagged

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑 • more of the pennyverse here.

Summary: . . . After almost losing you in a scare related to your preterm labor, Eddie is reluctant to meet his newborn son, whose life still remains on the line, until some convincing from you. warnings: angst, a whole lot of angst, near death experience, difficult pregnancy, early labor, preterm birth, talk of loss of infants, birth defects, happy ending.

a/n: congrats on making it to part two! we still have quite a bit of angst to get through but we're almost through the storm! this part (even though i wrote Wayne's World as a whole) was my favorite to write, and i'm sure you'll be able to guess why. word count is 6k. good luck and happy reading! and for the people mad about the long post, sorry, had the 'keep reading' tab on but it kept fucking with the format and eating chunks of it. you're gonna have to scroll. let me know what you think? ◡̈

Hours passed by, Penny had fallen asleep in his lap again and so had most of his friends with the exceptions of Jonathan who looked like he could really use the sleep, Eden and Wayne. Steve would snap awake every once and a while, careful not to jostle his sleeping girlfriend. Nancy was asleep on Jonathan’s shoulder while Argyle used Eden’s lap for a pillow. Barb and Robin were hanging off chairs in the most uncomfortable looking positions, Robin’s snores almost painful sounding. The ‘kids’ (teenagers) had been picked up by their parents, only agreeing to go home if they could come back to wait with him first thing in the morning. 

  Eddie didn’t rest for a single second, mind torturing him with horrible, horrible thoughts. One played in his mind on loop; he was holding Penny as he walked out of the hospital. They were on their own.

  It held him captive, he hadn’t even noticed your doctor approaching him until she gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

  “Mr. Munson?”

  Wayne and Eddie traded quick glances and he handed Penny over, trying not to disturb her too much in his rush but she just curled up to Wayne.

  Eddie stood up, already feeling lightheaded. That voice in his head that had been torturing him whispered something cruel to him, enough to make him want to cease existing: maybe you, somewhere in this hospital, already gone and he didn’t know it. Was she about to confirm his worst fears?

  “I apologize for the fright we gave you. Your wife started hemorrhaging and she lost a lot of blood.”

  Yeah. Eddie’s world was ending. It was over.

  “But we were able to stop the bleeding and get her a transfusion. She’s stable and she’s going to be just fine.”

  The relief was almost crippling, the heaviest weight he’d ever felt on him was lifted. Eddie wanted to cry, he squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to compose himself before he broke down in front of another doctor.

  “We have her in a room, probably hold her for a couple of nights, depending on her recovery. Would you like to go see her?”

  “Yeah, yes, please.” He nodded rapidly, wiping furiously at his eyes. 

  Dr. Eisenberg nodded and began walking down the hall, “If you’ll follow me.”

  Eddie turned, ready to ask Wayne to look after Penny when Wayne cut him off, “Go. I'll let ‘em all know she’s okay and send ‘em home. They probably won’t be able to see her tonight or in the mornin’, but I’ll stick around. Let me know when I can come on up.”

  Eddie wanted to hug him, but he really needed to see you. 

  “Thank you, Wayne. For everything.” Then he was scrambling after Dr. Eisenberg, who had stopped to wait for him.

  The walk to your hospital room had Eddie ready to tear his hair out, he’d wanted to just ask your doctor for your room number so he could sprint the rest of the way because her pace was much too slow. He was desperate to get to you, to make sure you were really still alive.

  “Here we are,” she stated, pushing your room door open. “Hello, again, Mrs. Munson. I brought someone who’s been waiting for you.”

  Eddie’s breath hitched as Dr. Eisenberg stepped to the side and he finally saw you, eyelids heavy from whatever sedation you were still trying to pull yourself from, and a smile on your face that only widened when you locked eyes. 

  “Hi, baby,” you slurred, sleepy little smile not going anywhere. And neither were you. 

  The rush of emotions he was experiencing was too much, he burst into tears where he stood as Dr. Eisenberg closed the door behind her on her way out. 

  “Eddie…” you mumbled out, reaching the hand lacking an IV out to him. 

  Of course you were trying to comfort him, you were the one confined to a hospital bed, having just barely survived a traumatic birth and you were still trying to comfort him because you were perfect. 

  He slowly approached your bed, hot tears—he was surprised his body could even still produce more tears given how much he’d cried in the last few hours alone—streaming down his cheek. Eddie really did collapse when he reached you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

  You wrapped your arms around him, holding him to your chest as best as you could, though you had no idea why he was crying, brain too hazy.

  Eddie didn’t sob, just silently shook as he wet your neck, inhaled your scent, felt your warm skin and pulse beating beneath his lips. He hadn’t lost you, you were still here.

  Ideally, he’d be holding you and squeezing you hard enough to ensure you’d never leave his arms again, but even in his emotional hysteria, he was mindful of your condition.

  Eddie pulled away, large hands framing your face as he pressed desperate kisses all over your face, making sure every inch was caressed with his love before he focused on your lips, mouth meshing messily against yours.

  You could taste the salt of his tears, feel a couple of stray ones catching where your lips met. While he may have been feeling a mixture of emotions, all you could feel right then was content and still a bit sleepy from the anesthesia.

  When Eddie felt he’d conveyed his love for you sufficiently, he pulled away, a wet and hoarse chuckle escaping him when he realized you could barely keep your eyes open.

  “You sleepy, baby?”

  “Mhmm.”

  “Get some rest, sweetheart,” Eddie’s thumb stroked over your bottom lip before resting over the center of it, “just, please wake up.”

  “Okay,” you mumbled, eyes already shut. Still, you managed to press a kiss to his thumb before you slipped into a blissful slumber.

  While you slept, Eddie had one of the nurses phone up the waiting room and sent Wayne. The poor man looked exhausted, but the relief on his face was evident when he saw you sleeping peacefully. 

   He looked like he wanted to cry, too. Instead, he just cleared his throat, blinked to keep the tears away and spoke low so as to not disturb you or the sleeping toddler in his arms.

  “Everythin’ alright?”

  “With her?” Eddie’s red rimmed gaze drifted back to you, focused on the rise and fall of your chest. Still breathing, “Yeah.”

  Wayne nodded once and they both stood there in silence for a few minutes as the world began to turn again. Something still wasn’t right, felt wrong. He could tell by the tension his boy still had, arms crossed as he crouched in the seat next to your bed. 

  “And the baby?”

  Eddie flinched as if Wayne had shot a gun off in the air rather than mention his son.

  “I don’t know.”

  Wayne watched him with a careful eye, Eddie looked almost like he was vibrating from the force at which his leg was shaking, even your hospital bed appeared to be affected by it, though not nearly enough to disturb you.

  As much as he wanted to comfort him, for once, Wayne didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know what to say and he had an inkling that anything that came out of his mouth wouldn’t be heard by Eddie. He was lost in the dark crevices of his own mind. 

  The most he could do was offer to give him some alone time, he was sure his boy wasn’t keen on others sticking around right now, even him. 

  “I’ll take Penny home, me and Maude’ll watch her.” 

  Eddie shook his head, a look of panic flashing over his face, “No, that’s alright. She can stay with me.”

  Wayne was reluctant, mouth set in a frown. Penny was a good girl, usually, but he didn’t know if Eddie could really handle her along with processing everything going on around him.

  “Really, we wouldn’t mind─”

  “I need her.” 

  That shut Wayne right up, he and Eddie shuffled to exchange Penny from his arms to her dad’s without waking her. She stirred momentarily then shoved her face into Eddie’s neck, her little body falling slack once more.

  Wayne gave his shoulder a good squeeze, ran his hand gently over Penny’s back before he leaned down—and in a rare show of affection—pressed a brief kiss to your forehead.

  As he was walking out of the room, Eddie felt the panic crawling down his throat again. He croaked out a broken, “Wayne─”

  Wayne paused in the doorway, turning to acknowledge Eddie but his nephew didn’t continue, just looked scared. For a moment, Wayne was caught off guard, sucking in a breath as his boy looked young for the first time in a couple of years. 

  Now, he knew you and Eddie were young. He’d been aware of it when you got together, aware of it when you told him you were pregnant with Penny but sometime after that, he stopped seeing your age, stopped seeing Eddie’s as the two of you grew up for her. Now, right then, he remembered with startling clarity that Eddie wasn’t even twenty-five. He looked so young because he was.

  Eddie didn’t have to say anything else because Wayne knew exactly what he wanted him to say.

  Wayne nodded slowly, mouth pressing into a firm line of determination, “Everything’s gonna be alright, kid.”

  Eddie choked up, held Penny a little tighter and Wayne went on his way.

  He found himself settling back into the seat he’d dragged near your bed, cradling Penny as she remained blissfully unaware and drooling on his scrub top.

  Wayne wasn’t wrong, she’d probably be a little too much for him but she was his kid, it wasn't like he could just hand her off to people when life came at him like this and he really did need her right now. Again.

  You were here and whole, but somewhere else in this hospital, a member of his little family was still slipping through his fingers. He couldn’t let the other one out of his sight, couldn’t lose her, too.

  Once more, Eddie remained restless as the hours passed. He sat in mostly silence. He’d turned on the tv near your bed, the volume high enough to drown out the sounds of the hospital outside of the room but much too low to wake you. Rain trilled against the windows, much more gentle than it had been earlier. The storm had also passed, and if there was even an ounce of humor in him, he would have been amused with how this storm seemed to fester like a black cloud looming over him. 

  It’d been a normal day up until he’d gone to Lucas’ birthday party, but he’d been skeptical about leaving you, worried something would happen. The metaphorical little black cloud formed over him, as a result, and so did the actual black clouds, quickly calling for wind and rain at high speeds. 

  And when Eddie had found out you were okay, you were alive, his black cloud disappeared, though it left behind damage and a cold atmosphere. The real storm had also run its course, leaving behind weather that reflected exactly how Eddie felt.

  Penny squirmed in his grasp, and he realized he’d tensed up so he quickly relaxed, shifting her into a more comfortable position in his hold. 

  “Why don’t you give her to me?”

  Eddie’s head snapped over to you, surprised to find you awake, somewhat lucid and watching him with a small smile on your face.

  “Because you just had your insides removed and put back in,” He smirked, another wave of relief washing over him. You’d woken up, you really were okay. You weren’t going to leave him.

  You rolled your eyes, making a vague hand gesture to brush the subject off, clearly the surgeons hadn’t removed your sass.

  “She’s tiny and there’s more than enough room on here for both of us.” You hissed as you slowly shimmied your way to the side of the bed and Eddie frowned.

  “Okay, how about you don’t move so we can limit the amount of heart attacks you give me today, yeah?” You knew Eddie must have been worried so you didn’t take the lack of humor behind his words and the tension on his face personally. 

  A quick glance at the clock confirmed your suspicions, “It’s three in the morning, Eddie. New day, but I’ll keep my antics to a minimum.”

  Insistently, you patted the spot next to you, perfectly Penny sized and high enough to guarantee she wouldn’t accidentally move against your incision.

  With a sigh, Eddie complied, gathering his daughter up. Tensing up disturbed her but full on moving her didn’t, most likely used to being carried into your home after she’d fallen asleep in her car seat or on the couch.

  She didn’t stir when he laid her down, either. You both had to rearrange her limbs into a more comfortable position, one that didn’t make it look like she was possessed. Once Eddie tucked her in, he let out another sigh and cast you an apologetic look, big brown eyes wide, glassy and full of sorrow.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” It was the last thing you deserved after what you’d gone through.

  The sincerity in his voice almost hurt you, it was heavy, as though it carried more weight than just a simple apology for his tone. 

  You held out your hand and Eddie immediately slipped his over it, locking his fingers with yours, squeezing as his breath hitched. 

  Your hand was so warm and soft. At one point in the last twenty-four hours, he’d thought he’d never get to feel it again, never get to hold your hand or see your pretty face. Never get to say…

  “I love you,” he blurted out, the panic he’d felt earlier when he couldn’t remember the last time he’d said those three words to you climbed right out of his belly, trying to claw its way out of his chest. Eddie took in a shuddering breath, head shaking as a hot tear escaped its confinement, trailing down his cheek. He moved to the other side of the hospital bed, so he wouldn’t crush Penny, and took your face in his hands, pressing a passionate kiss to your lips, hoping he was able to convey just how much he loved you.

  He needed you to know.

  “Eddie,” you mumbled as he pulled away, only to hide himself in the crook of your neck again. You could feel his tears against your skin and it alarmed you. “I love you, too, baby. What’s wrong?”

  “I thought I was going to lose you,” he confessed and you felt your heart seize up, “I thought I was gonna lose you twice in the same damn day. I was so fucking scared, sweetheart.” 

  When he’d been driving to the hospital, there had been a moment when he wondered if you’d still be breathing when he got there. It made him want to throw up so he quickly squashed it and forced it to the back of his head. It hadn’t been ideal when he’d entered the operation room, he didn’t like seeing you get cut open but it was comforting to see he’d overreacted. You were getting a c-section, you weren’t on your deathbed.

  Until you had been. 

  And for the second time that day, he thought you were going to die, thought he’d somehow cruelly manifested this for you and himself.

  “I’m alright, Eddie.” You freed your hand, grabbing his to cradle your cheek with. 

  “See? I’m okay. You didn’t lose me, you’re not going to.” Eddie pulls away from his hiding spot to stare down at you, the wounded puppy look still firmly in place so you add a little humor, hoping to get a smile out of him, “There’s no way I’m checking out this early, I can’t risk you moving on when you look this good.”

  Eddie’s hand was so big his fingers were tucked into your hair, his palm alone took up most of your cheek. His fingertips lightly massaged the area of your scalp available to him as the hurt on his face morphed into an earnest look, somehow more vulnerable.

  “There’s no moving on from you, you’re taking my soul, my heart, all of it with you when you go. You’re the love of my life, my everything. And that—fuck, it terrifies me because I’d still have Penny to take care of and I wouldn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t know how to pull myself out of it, if it’d even be possible and quite frankly, I don’t ever want to fucking find out.”

  Eddie was more than happy to have those types of questions remain unanswered for the rest of his life.

  “You’d be able to do it, I know you would. You would be able to take care of Penny and the baby.” You knew he would, your husband would pull himself out of his depression to make sure your children were okay because of how much he loved them, despite his grief.

  Eddie flinched, something you were quick to clock. You didn’t need to ask, he could see the question reflecting in those beautiful eyes of yours. 

  He had to break the news. You were already in a frail condition and he had to tell you the baby you’d almost died to have, your son, might still die.

  “Honey, the baby—he—fuck, he’s uh…there’s something wrong with his heart.”

  The way your face plummeted shattered something inside of him. 

  “What?”

  “He’s got a hole in his heart, the doctor said it was pretty common amongst heart defects but since he was born so early, it’d be difficult to medicate him or perform an operation. All they can do is keep him under observation, he still might not make it because of how young he is.”

  You squeezed your eyes shut, head dropping back to meet your pillow as you tried, and failed, not to cry. Why was this happening? You blamed yourself, why hadn’t you been able to keep him in your belly? Why had your own body betrayed you? Why had you failed your baby?

  “This is all my fault,” you declared, eyes and cheeks growing wet with your tears.

  “No, no, sweetheart.” Eddie was not about to let you take the blame for something out of your control or even allow you to believe any of this was your fault. “You can’t possibly believe this is on you. These things happen, it obviously isn’t ideal, but it’s just circumstance. It’s not your fault and it’s not the baby’s fault. You did everything you could and more. Okay?”

  He leaned in, finger stroking gently across your cheekbone as he caught a tear. You sniffled, nodding once as he pulled you back together.

  “What does he look like?” You asked, snuggling back into the pillow as Eddie coddled you.

  He hesitated for a moment before he answered, “I—I don’t know.”

  That elicited a small frown from you, “You haven’t seen him yet?”

  Eddie swallowed hard, gaze moving away from you, “No.”

  You waited, watching a series of emotions pass over his features. Eddie often tried to keep his internal struggles to himself, a habit you noticed once you became friends with him (ironically, through some trauma bonding) and even into your relationship. You hadn’t expected him to confide everything in you right away, though you had let him know should he ever need someone to talk to, you’d be there.

  Now, it wasn’t a matter of if he would, it was when. It didn’t take him long. 

  “I don’t know—I guess,” he pursed his lips, eyes squeezing shut as he felt the all too familiar burn of fresh tears. How many times had he cried in the last twenty-four hours? He felt ridiculous to be so emotional, then again, he’d never thought he’d find himself in this tragic situation, so he was due for a couple of breakdowns, “I know if I go down there and I—I look at him, I’m gonna fall in love with him and then what? He dies. I can’t do that, not if I’m gonna lose him forever. I can’t.”

  Eddie was leaking tears, not yet sobbing but well on his way as he made his confession. He couldn’t stomach seeing his baby boy if he was going to be taken away from him, if the two of you would have to put a tiny little coffin—a size that should never have to exist—six feet into the ground. He’d been put through the fucking ringer but Eddie couldn’t do that. It would break him.

  Eddie’s confession had you crying as well, you shared his pain. You didn’t want to lose your baby, either. You couldn’t remember what he looked like through the haze of your fatigue when you’d given birth to him, but if you tried to think hard enough, you could remember how it felt to have him in your arms in the passenger seat of Wayne’s truck. The first time you’d held him and you hoped it wouldn’t be the last. 

  Even if it was, you were grateful you’d had the chance to and you knew Eddie would never forgive himself if he didn’t get to see him, didn’t get to meet him.

  “I know you’re terrified, Eds. It scares me, too.” You grabbed his hand just as it slipped away from your face, encouraging him to look at you. “I don’t want to lose him, either. I want to take him home. I want to cuddle with him, nurse him, take tons of pictures of him with Penny and with you, but most of all, I want to make sure he knows I love him.”

  It killed you to imagine your baby in an incubator, small, helpless and with no one but the nurses, who could make the time to check on him in between all their other patients, offering him comfort. Human contact. And if he did end up passing, he could do so alone in there, not knowing how loved he was. 

  “I know you love him, Eddie, and you don’t want to lose him. But you can’t lose him if you don’t have him, baby. I hate that this is even a possibility for us, but I’d rather have held him and lost him than to never have picked him up at all. I’ll be okay with whatever you decide, but do you really want him to die without having gotten to meet his dad?”

  Eddie let out a choked sob as he shook his head. He didn’t want his baby to die at all but you were right, if he did lose his kid, he’d spend the rest of his life agonizing over the same thing Eddie had been upset with himself for when he thought he’d lose you. He’d been unable to recall the last time he told you he loved you. Only, he’d know he never told his son. 

  “I’ll be right back,” he swore and you nodded just as he leaned down to give you a kiss. He wiped away his tears, inhaled a particularly violent sniffle and you watched as he left your room to finally meet his baby.

  Eddie felt almost disorientated as he navigated his way to the NICU. He’d been there once, briefly, to check on Penny when she’d been there for a few hours, but that was a couple of years ago and he’d needed the assistance of several nurses and staff to direct him, but he finally made it.

  The entrance room, where the viewing window was located, was nearly empty. There was a woman further down, gazing through the large window.

  Eddie approached it with caution and his heart racing a mile a minute. It wasn’t too difficult to find his baby. His son was in an incubator, close to the window and labeled ‘MUNSON’. For the first time, Eddie got to take his son in. He had been right, he fell in love with him at first sight.

  He was smaller than some of the other babies, bigger than others as well and surprisingly well developed. Kind of calmed Eddie’s nerves, just a little. He had a couple of monitor pads attached to his tummy with an additional one wrapped around his tiny foot. Other than the nasal cannula, baby Munson didn’t have a whole lot of tubes attached to him like Eddie had imagined and he could see a smattering of hair on his head, somewhat light in shade but he had a feeling it would darken soon to resemble his own. 

  It was hard to tell if Wayne and Penny were right in their description of him, Eddie couldn’t tell if he was still pale since the baby was cloaked in blue light, but he assumed his son had gained some color by then. Eddie also couldn’t make out his eyes, those were covered by some sort of eye cloth, most likely for protection. He looked a little odd, obviously resembled a baby and while his features were almost indistinguishable, appearing a little generic, as his face still needed to develop a little more, Eddie could see hints of familiar features. 

  He looked like newborn Penny, well, so far. Her features had obviously changed since then, and still were, but he was promising to look almost exactly like she had when she was born. And Eddie thought Penny looked a lot like you, so it got a smile out of him, regardless of the fact his son was bound to resemble his family.

  Eddie watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest with concern. Was he supposed to be breathing that fast? Was he okay? 

  “Which one is yours?”

  Eddie turned to peer over at the woman who’d asked him the question, “Munson.”

  Eddie watched as her gaze moved over all the incubators until they found the correct one.

  “Oh, he’s a cute one. And his breathing looks incredible.”

  “Really? It’s not too fast?” He asked, the worry in his voice obvious.

  “Considering it’s his first time pumping those lungs, I don’t think so, no. Looks like he’s breathing real good to me. Mine needs a little help.” She pointed through the glass to an incubator that housed a baby with a tube in its mouth as well as individual ones in each nostril unlike his son’s nasal cannula. Eddie felt horrible.

  “I’m sorry,” he tried to apologize but she waved him off, a smile still on her face. 

  “Don’t be, that’s all mine is here for. As soon as she figures out how to keep doing it on her own, she’ll be back with me and my wife.”

  Right on, Eddie thought. Before he could continue their conversation, a nurse knocked on the window.

  She gestured down to the baby, “Is he yours?”

  Wow, this glass must have been thin, he could hear her pretty good.

  For some reason, Eddie still assumed she couldn’t hear him and only nodded. She disappeared for a minute and emerged into the room through a large pair of doors. 

  “Would you like to hold him?”

  Eddie glanced at the other occupant and she gave him a nod of encouragement. 

  “Yeah,” he rasped out, turning to look at his son through the window once more, “Yeah, I would.”

  Eddie was nervous the entire time as she prepped him with instructions. While they were concerned about the hole in his son’s heart, he was well developed, had strong vitals, good reactions, even for thirty weeks. He was so good that had it not been for his heart, he probably would have been sent home at the same time as you, given your longer than average stay due to your c-section and preeclampsia.

  And when she placed him in his arms, the love he had for his son almost overwhelmed him. He couldn’t believe he almost denied himself this. 

  “Can I touch him?” He asked, after he’d stopped marveling at the small face—eyes still hidden—in his arms. 

  “Mhm, we’d encourage it. Babies, even born preterm, are still very much so human. He craves the contact, it might even encourage him.” 

  Eddie didn’t hesitate, fingers gently stroking over the soft fluff of hair on his son’s head. This close, he could see it all pushed towards the middle of his head, like a mohawk. His baby was already metal straight out of your womb, it made him chuckle. 

  The nurse stepped away to tend to another baby, giving him a little privacy. Eddie maneuvered his son so he was resting on his chest, little head pressed against the spot just over his heart.

  “Hi,” he whispered down to the baby in his arms, “I’m your dad.”

  Much to Eddie’s awe, the baby nuzzled his head against his chest, making him still. He didn’t know why, but he’d believed his son wouldn’t be able to move for some reason. It was nice to know he was wrong.

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, too,” he laughed, the sound soft, “I’ve been looking forward to it, you must have, too. You sure know how to make an entrance, huh? Couldn’t wait in your mom any longer?”

  Eddie ducked down to kiss his little head, lips remaining there as he moved to sit in one of the few chairs of the NICU. 

  “It’s okay, though. I’ve got you, daddy’s got you.” Even if the outcome wasn’t okay, right at that moment with his son in his arms, everything felt like it would be. And if his son needed encouragement, Eddie would give it to him. 

  “I’m sorry it took me so long to come find you, your mom had to talk some sense into me. She loves you a lot, you know? Probably jealous I’m down here and she isn’t, but only because she physically can’t just yet.”

  Eddie’s hand went to support the back of his head as he moved the baby down to hold in his hands, staring down at his little face. 

  “I’ll bring her down to see you again as soon as I can, though. So you gotta keep fighting, okay? I know things are hard for you right now, not as easy as the other babies in the hospital, but I know you can do it. I love you so much, your mom and I just want to take you home, so you gotta beat this, okay?”

  Eddie rocked his baby, gentle swaying motions as he pressed kiss after kiss to his head. 

  “I see you’ve made it down for a visit,”

  Eddie glanced up at the face of Dr. Houseman, she didn’t look as intimidating as she had when she’d first approached him in the waiting room.

  “Sorry to disturb you, but I’m very glad I caught you. I heard your wife is doing well.”

  “She is,” he confirmed, with a relieved grin. 

  “Good, I’m glad. Have you been given an update on your little guy?”

  Eddie recounted what the nurse had told him and Dr. Houseman looked pleased.

  “Well, I have more news for you. He’s proving to be much stronger than we’d initially anticipated, and while his vitals were already good on intake, they’ve improved tremendously in the last few hours and so have his responses. I think he’s figuring out what he’s capable of doing; how to breathe, how to move, how to eat—we introduced him to a rubber nipple to check his latch response and it’s good, not quite there yet, we’ll have to get creative with his feedings but I think he’ll be able to latch onto his mom soon.”

  She must have caught the way Eddie perked up at her use of the word soon. That meant his baby had a fighting chance.

  “These first few hours after a birth such as his and with his condition are crucial. While he’s still significantly weaker than an average full term newborn, your baby seems to be a fighter.  Should he survive this next night, I believe he’ll make it. He’d just need some time in here while the hole closes up, but it just might not be too much for him.”

  She left him with that news and a parting smile.

  Eddie held his son for a few more minutes before a nurse returned to put him back in his incubator. He hadn’t wanted to leave him, but he’d promised him he’d be back.

  When Eddie got back to the room, his heart was a little lighter and he was able to smile when he saw you giving Penny, who was now wide awake, kisses. He pressed his back up against the door and watched for a few moments as you leaned in and gave her a loud kiss. She’d go into a fit of giggles before demanding another with an again!

  “Daddy!” Penny beamed the moment she saw him and Eddie grinned as he made his way over, lifting her into his arms when she held hers up to him.

  “Hi, pretty one. You sleep good?” 

  “Uh-huh,” it was clear she was distracted and didn’t care about his questions, no, she had some of her own. “You see my baby?”

  Eddie raised an eyebrow, trading an amused look with you.

  “Oh, he’s your baby now?”

  “Ya, he’s—he’s my baby.” She nodded with a grin as she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he leaned down to press his forehead to hers.

  “Well, then yes. I saw your baby,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to her nose.

  “Wha’helooklike?” Penny blurted out, eyes wide as she waited for his reply. 

  “He looked a lot like you.” 

  “Nooooooo,” Penny laughed, shaking her head against her dad’s, “He is my potatoes, not anoda Penny.”

  “It’s true!” Eddie laughed with her as he put her back down by your side and leaned in to give you yet another—he’d never stop giving them to you—kiss.

  “He looks like her?” You asked, after you’d returned his kiss.

  “Mhm,” Eddie fell back into the seat he’d occupied hours earlier. “Looks like she did when she was a newborn. He’s not pale—like a potato,” he directed that part to Penny who just laughed into her little hands, “anymore, at least. I don’t know whose eyes he has, they were covered.”

  Eddie was right about you being jealous, you were practically green with it. 

  “I wish I could see him,” you stated sadly, frown on your lips. You knew, realistically, if he started to decline, they’d most likely let you out of bed to see him or bring him up to you, but still. You’d rather it not come to that.

  “Ran into his doctor while I was there, she said he’s got a better chance.”

  Your eyes lit up, “Really?”

  “I was just about ready to kiss her.” He nodded and you made a face, nose doing that adorable scrunch he loved so much.

  “Okay, well, don’t do that.”

  Eddie snickered, “It was a figure of speech, baby.”

  “I know, I’m just saying it on her behalf,”

  “On her behalf?” Eddie pouted, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

  “Yeah, I want to kiss her, too, but—uhm, Eds, you might need some sleep ‘cause—you’re hot, you really are, but you also look insane right now.”

  Eddie got up to make his way to the bathroom so he could see himself in the mirror, nearly jumping once he’d turned on the lights.

  His eyes were beyond bloodshot, his eye bags were dark and very apparent, his skin had an interesting almost gray like tinge to it and his hair was a wreck. Eddie looked like he belonged in a psych ward.

  “Jesus,” he shouted loud enough to be heard by you.

  “It’s okay, Eds. You’re still beautiful to me!”

  Eddie did end up sleeping. Turns out the chair he’d been sitting on was also a pull out bed. You insisted that he get some rest, and while he did, you changed Penny’s diaper and got some hospital room service for the two of you, you’d even picked something out on the menu for Eddie to eat once he woke up. 

[ladykailitha]

Sweet Surrender Part 4

Here we are guys, the end of the sequel of the summer Valentine fic. Thank you all who liked, commented, and reblogged this lovely story. I love seeing my regulars interact with their comments and tags. It's makes me so happy.

And if regularly do and haven't lately: I get it, it's not always easy to comment (whether as a comment or in the tags) on every part, just know I missed seeing them.

Sadly no prom-posal because they can't really go together-together, but Eddie did go over and ask in person. He's not a complete idiot.

This is my longest "chapter" I've written clocking out at 3700+ words because I refused to split it up further dammit!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Damn it scheduled for 10pm not am but here we are just a few minutes late.

~

Eddie sat at the back of the class as he always did, trying to come up with ideas of what to do for prom. Because of course Steve said yes.

Steve’s eyes lit up and he swung Eddie around chanting, “Yes, yes, yes!” until the pair of them fell to the floor giggling like children.

They kissed and laughed until they couldn’t breathe.

Steve already had a suit, he really hadn’t grown that much since the funeral and just needed a nice cummerbund to make it school dance worthy. So he didn’t go with the Hellfire boys to get their tuxes.

Jeff had gone for a blue suit jacket with black pants and bow tie with a white button up. Gareth went for a double breasted black jacket and bow tie with matching pants. Brian had picked up a white jacket and bolo tie with black pants.

Eddie though?

Eddie had gone for a thin black neck tie and tight dress pants and then was going to wear his leather jacket over the top.

Steve was positively salivating at the thought.

They were sitting at the table discussing prom ideas when Nancy came up to Steve.

“Hey, do you have a date to prom?”

Steve and Eddie shared a concerned glance before Steve just shrugged.

“These guys didn’t get dates either,” he explained, “and offered to let me go with them as a group. Why? You asking?”

Nancy’s face twisted in disdain. “No, of course not. I’m not going to that meaningless high school mating ritual.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Jonathan didn’t want to go, huh?”

“He won’t let me pay.” She crossed her arms over her chest and stomped her foot.

Steve rolled his eyes and shared a glance with Eddie who shared his exasperation.

“What do you want, Nance?”

She pursed her lips and looked down at the floor. “I thought that if you had a date, then we could double and Jonathan wouldn’t feel pressured to spend a lot of money.”

Jeff and Brian looked at each other and then burst out laughing with Eddie joining in.

“Tell me you’ve never been poor without telling me you’ve never been poor,” Brian huffed out between gales of laughter. “Jesus H. Christ, he’s gonna feel even more pressure to spend a lot because he’s gonna see Stevie here go all out for his date and he’s going to get flustered and upset he can’t do the same for you then there’ll be huge fight, leaving you stranded at the prom waiting for Mommy Dearest to pick you.” He wiped away a tear of laughter.

Steve nodded and then half shrugged. “I’m with him on that one. It’s a guy thing. You’re out to wound his pride and you’re only going to catch hell for it.”

“Here’s a thought, Nancy Drew,” Eddie said with a menacing grin, “why not skip it and do it next year. At your actual senior prom since he’s so worried about it. Give him time to save up for it so he can do something nice for you and stop pushing people around.”

Nancy’s jaw dropped and she turned to Steve. “Are you just going to sit here and let him talk to me that way?”

Steve swirled in his chair to look up at her. “We aren’t dating, and he’s not wrong. Plus, I’ve been asked to prom by a couple of very forward girls and had hints broadly dropped that I should ask them to prom. Tammy Thompson was the worst of the lot. Talking about how a king should be with a proper queen or some shit like that. And I’ve turned them down because all of them want the Harrington charm and money and not me, also they’ll want sex or worse, to go steady and I just can’t handle that right now.”

He looked pointedly at her.

She frowned for a moment and then her eyes went wide and her mouth formed a silent ‘O’.

“Yeah,” he said, turning in his seat to out his back between them. “So you’ll pardon me if I don’t want to do you any favors.”

She slunk off back to the table with the rest of her friends and Jonathan.

Gareth shook his head. “The absolute nerve. Jesus Fucking Christ.”

Steve could only agree.

~

“Come on, man,” Gareth huffed, crossing his arms. “If we all pool our money we could rent a limo and show up in style.”

Steve threw back his head and laughed.

They were all sitting around Gareth’s garage making the final plans for prom.

“Dude, you could,” Steve agreed. “But those things take up at least three parking spots and you will have the rest of the student body hate your guts for all of time for it being in the way of everyone else.”

Gareth slunk further into the couch with a sneer. “It can’t be as bad as he’s making it out, he just doesn’t want us to have any fun.”

“That’s because you were a freshman when Tommy H. and Carol Perkins did it for junior prom last year,” Steve said, shaking his head. “They got so much shit for it, and it took Tommy bullying certain people to get it to stop.” He raised his hands. “Something I didn’t condone by the way.”

Jeff winced and shook his head. “Hard pass on being hated more than we already are.”

“I’m with Jeffy on this one Gare-bear,” Eddie said with a grimace. “Let’s take Mr. Romance’s advice on this one, yeah?”

“Fine!” Gareth growled. “But I refuse to get in the fuck ugly Bimmer of Steve’s and I’m not to be seen in these nice suits in Eddie’s van.”

“I never said we couldn’t rent a car,” Steve said reasonably, “just that we shouldn’t rent a limo.”

Suddenly the four other boys were leaning forward in their seats, looking at him in rapt interest.

“What did you have in mind, Stevie?” Eddie asked, slowly licking his upper lip.

“Who hasn’t had the dream of showing up to school in a shiny convertible?” Steve asked with a smirk. “It’ll be nicer than a limo, and most likely cheaper, too. And of course I bet we could get Eddie’s Uncle Wayne to rent it for us, with the little bribe that he gets to drive it around first.”

Eddie threw back his head and cackled. “That would work! He would love the little bribe, too.”

The other three boys looked at each other before Jeff said, “All in favor of getting nice convertible for prom?”

All the hands went up and Steve sat back, looking like that cat that got the cream.

~

Steve stayed over at Eddie’s the night before the dance. The plan was that after lunch, Steve would go home and get ready for the dance and then Eddie would pick everyone up for dinner then they would go to the dance.

Eddie had other plans, of course, but Steve didn’t know about those. Yet.

Around ten o’clock in the morning, with the two boys still tangled up in each others limbs there was honking of someone’s horn, followed by Wayne yelling at them to get the hell out of bed.

Steve and Eddie blinked bleary-eyed at each other for a moment before the fog of sleep cleared and they were on their feet in an instant. Steve threw on some sweats as Eddie yanked on a pair of jeans. They were out the door before Wayne could honk again.

He was leaning up a red 1984 Chrysler LeBaron five seater with white upholstery with the top down. His arms were crossed and had the biggest smile on his face.

“So what do you think, boys?” he said cocking his head to the side. “You think it’s fancy enough for that dance of yours?”

Eddie and Steve shared matching grins. They ran down the stairs in their bare feet up to Wayne and the car.

Steve was already running his hands over the body of the car. “Wayne, she gorgeous. She wasn’t too much was she?”

Wayne shook his head. “You boys’ money more than covered it for the night. I’ll return it tomorrow with a full tank of gas, no worries.”

Eddie hugged his uncle tightly. “Tonight is going to be the best night ever!”

Wayne hugged him back as Steve continued to admire the car.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to find one that would fit all of us,” he breathed, “but fucking hell. It’s perfect Mr. Munson!”

“I’m glad you’re happy with it, Steve,” Wayne murmured as Eddie let go of him to follow Steve around the car. “Brian will probably have to sit in the front seat to be comfortable, but other than that, you’ll be golden.”

“Well, old man,” Eddie said after Steve and he looked over every inch of the car, “She’s all yours. Just bring her back by five so I can pick everyone else up.”

Wayne chuckled and opened the driver’s side door. “She really is a beaut, Ed. I can’t wait to let her unwind on the open road.”

Steve smiled and shook his head, knowing that he wanted to do the exact same thing. He followed Eddie into the trailer, a skip in his step.

Eddie made for the kitchen to starting making them breakfast and Steve sat down at the small table they had nearby.

“So we’re going out to eat at Enzo’s,” Steve murmured. “Which I really don’t want to know how Gareth pulled that off, considering everyone goes there for prom and getting reservations are vicious. It’s almost a blood sport.”

Eddie chuckled pulling out the eggs to scramble. “Gareth’s mom is friends with the owner and she always has a standing table there.”

“Well that’s a relief,” he said wiping his brow. “I thought he had murdered a couple of our fellow students for the privilege.”

“I love that it’s Gareth you think would be the murderer,” he called over his shoulder, “instead of anyone else coming with us tonight.”

Steve half shrugged and started counting them off on his fingers. “Brian is a staunch pacifist, Jeff gets sick at the sight of blood and you are so sweet that it’s impossible to believe that would harm anyone unless they started shit first.” He tapped his fingers on the surface of the table. “But Gareth is the quiet one and everyone knows that serial killers are the strong and silent types.”

Eddie poured the beaten egg mixture into the heated frying pan and began to stir it around.

“I guess that makes sense,” he said after a few moments. “I love your absolute faith in me, by the way. If there were any serial killings in this town, the mob would come after me first.”

Steve sighed. “True that. Unfortunately.”

Eddie scooped the cooked eggs onto two plates, bringing them over to the table with a couple of forks.

They settled down to eat. After a few minutes of silence Steve asked. “You thinking of doing anything after the dance? I know we haven’t really talked about what we’re doing after.”

Eddie got that soft secret smile that made the butterflies in Steve’s stomach take flight. “There might be a couple of things I might have in mind.”

Steve shook his head fondly. “And let me guess, it’s a surprise and I’m not supposed to know?”

“Yup!” Eddie replied with a grin. “No eat up, I have plans for this morning...” he wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

Steve started immediately shoving egg into his face to Eddie’s cackling glee.

~

To say Steve was nervous would be a fucking understatement. He’d never been picked up for prom before and not knowing when Eddie was going to show up only made his anxiety spike further.

It wasn’t that Steve didn’t know when Eddie was going to leave to start picking everyone up, it was that Steve was third after Brian and Gareth, who were first and second respectively.

In his hand was a corsage for Eddie. It was black rose wrapped in a silver ribbon. And he was doing everything in his power not to crush the clear, plastic box it was in.

There was a knock on the door and Steve’s face fell a little when he saw it was Gareth at the door.

“Wow,” Gareth snarked, “don’t look all excited and shit to see me or whatever.”

“I–I guess I was expecting Eddie...” Steve muttered. He shook his head and tossed the box on the table. “I’m ready to go.”

Gareth frowned a little bit and then his expression cleared when he saw what was in the box. “Oh hell no.” He held up a finger and dashed back to the car. He yanked Eddie out of the driver’s seat and toward Steve’s door.

As they neared Steve heard Gareth grumble, “You are not fucking this up already!”

Eddie opened his mouth to protest when he saw Steve at the door looking dejected. He snapped it shut with an audible click. He saw the box on the table and looked back at Steve.

“You got me flowers?” he breathed. He couldn’t believe it. He had told Steve that he was taking care of everything.

But he forgot one thing and the fact that Wayne hadn’t brought it up, meant that Steve had gotten it for him as a surprise but told Wayne to keep Eddie from buying one for himself.

Steve gulped down the lump in his throat. “It’s just a silly corsage. The other guys aren’t wearing one, so I’ll just tak–” he reached up to remove his own white rose corsage when Eddie put his hands over Steve’s.

“No, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured. “I screwed up. I was supposed to be wooing you tonight and I already misstepped. I should have come to the door to pick you up. That wasn’t fair to you.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he mumbled still trying to remove his corsage.

Eddie took his face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. “Baby, it is. Because it’s important to you. So what we’re going to do is, you’re going to stop trying to remove yours so it doesn’t get ruined,” and immediately Steve’s hands dropped to Eddie’s waist. “Good boy, now the next thing you’re going to do is pin that pretty flower you got for me on my leather jacket and then we’ll go get Jeff, okay?”

Steve let out a shuddering breath and then nodded. Then with trembling hands he took the black rose out of the box and pulled out the pin that would be used to attach it to Eddie’s jacket lapel.

Eddie wrapped his hands gently around Steve’s quivering hands again, this time to calm him. “Take your time, Stevie.”

Steve took a deep breath and looked Eddie in the eyes.

“There you are, princess,” Eddie cooed at how much calmer he looked now. “If it helps, I can knock on the door and we can start over.”

Steve shook his head but took a step back. He brought Eddie’s lips to his and kissed him deeply. “This will just be some stupid story we tell our grandkids when we’re old and grey.”

Eddie burst out laughing. “Only a month in and you’re already planning our grandkids! And I thought I moved fast.”

“Nope!” Steve teased, kissing him again. “You move fast, I move faster.”

Eddie giggled as a more confident Steve pinned the corsage to his leather jacket. They walked out and got into the LeBaron. Steve hopped into the back seat with Gareth who grumbled under his breath.

“I told him he should have gone up there and not send someone else, but noooo,” he muttered darkly. “I’m a little squashmore who’s never gone on a date in my life, what would I know?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie huffed. “Rub it in. And where oh font of wisdom did you gain such knowledge, hmm?”

Gareth erupted, throwing his arms in the air. “I watch movies!” he huffed as Eddie pulled out of the driveway. “My mom and brother love romantic comedies. The dude always goes to the door unless he’s meant to be the douchebag loser.”

Steve burst out laughing. “He’s got you there, Eds.”

“Mistake made,” Eddie said dryly, “lesson learned.”

They got to Jeff’s, who’s mother had gotten Brian, Gareth and her son all corsages. They all had a single red rose to match Eddie’s black and Steve’s white roses.

“Ooh,” Eddie murmured. “Uncle Wayne was playing the long game, wasn’t he? He told you not get me and Steve corsages because Steve had them covered, didn’t he?”

Mrs. Laurence shook her head, barely containing her smile. “Steve coordinated it with me and I filled your uncle in.”

Eddie shook his head fondly and took Steve’s hand.

She took pictures of everyone in the tuxes and then sent them off with a wave.

~

Dinner was amazing. Especially with Steve gently guiding them with which forks to use, the meal was delicious and company was even better.

Their waiter even commented that he wished him and his friends had thought about just getting dressed up anyway and going to prom as friends. It would have been better than them sitting at home eating pizza and feeling sorry for themselves.

Steve just smiled up at him as the rest of them filled him on the rest of their plans. Well... all but Eddie anyway.

They got to the dance and while Mrs. Click was absolutely fuming, she couldn’t bar their entry because there was nothing in the rules that said they had to bring dates and as long as they had their tickets, she had to let them in.

Eddie took great pleasure in smiling at her as they walked into the gym.

The theme was of course Sweethearts so the gym was decked out in hearts of every size and of every shade of pink and red imaginable.

Steve chuckled as Jeff and Brian gagged. Gareth smacked them upside their heads and went off in search of punch, the other two boys shuffling behind him.

Eddie and Steve stood at the entrance a moment.

Eddie rocked back and forth on the balls on his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets to hide how never he felt. “So what do you do at a dance when you can’t dance with the one you want to?”

Steve looked over at him and tilted his head. “Make yourself as big a menace as possible, of course.”

Eddie grinned as Steve grabbed his wrist and they melted into the crowd.

~

About an hour into it, Eddie led Steve away from all the loud music and sweltering mass of teenage bodies.

“Eddie!” Steve protested with a laugh. “Where are you taking me?”

Eddie just cackled and kept pulling him along. They got the drama room and Steve was amazed he could hear the music.

“How?” he whispered.

Eddie grinned again. “They have speakers in here from the gym. They’re usually turned off as some brave stage crew managed to figure out a way to stop it from streaming in so kids could practice their lines and shit and not have to listen to basketball scores, but I got someone to turn them on for us.”

Steve turned to him in shock. “Us?”

Eddie nodded and led Steve further into the drama room. It was decorated in fairy lights and sparkling hearts.

“Oh, Eds...” Steve breathed. “It’s beautiful.”

“I paid one of the drama kids to do this for me so I could surprise you,” he murmured.

Just then a soft love song came over the speakers and he held out his hand to Steve. “Dance with me.”

Steve let out a watery chuckle and folded into Eddie’s arms. They danced cheek to cheek to the music and were still dancing slowly when the song changed to something more upbeat.

“I was so worried I couldn’t dance with you up there,” he murmured into Eddie’s ear, “and then you went and found a way for us to do it down here instead. God, I love you so much, sunshine.”

They kissed and danced until the announcement came over the speakers that they were crowning the prom king and queen. They walked back to the gym hand in hand.

“I tried to get myself removed from the ballot,” Steve said softly just as they reached the doors. “I told them that I didn’t want even be here, but they refused. Said that I was nominated by someone else and only they could remove from the ballot. They wouldn’t even tell me who. But then you came along and I still don’t want to be prom king, but I figured at least being here with you would be worth the price of admission.”

Eddie smiled and kissed him gently. “I think you’d look pretty in a crown, darlin’.”

Steve let out a nervous giggle. “You would.”

They let go of their hands and walk back in.

Steve made prom king. Like everyone assumed he would. And even though Billy hadn’t been on the ballot he came in second place with a lot of write-ins. Steve suspected that Billy had actually won, but as he wasn’t on the ballot and the principal not wanting it to go to a thug like Billy Hargrove had cinched Steve’s bid for the crown.

Prom queen was Tammy Thompson. Which she obviously had insider knowledge of when she broadly hinted to him to take her to prom. She even hissed about him probably wishing he had taken her when he had the chance as to not leave her poor date standing there on the sidelines.

Steve just smiled and nodded and suffered through their dance.

Once it was all done, he handed the bouquet of flowers to Jeff, the sash to Gareth and the crown to Brian.

“You’ve got nothing left, baby,” Eddie murmured as they walked out of the gym and into the darkened halls of the high school.

He gave Eddie’s hand a quick squeeze. “No, Eds. I’ve got you.”

That night after they had done all their after dance activities, they would make love in the back of the LeBaron under the stars at the quarry after they had dropped everyone else off and in the morning after they waved off the LeBaron as Wayne drove it back to the rent shop, Steve would drag Eddie back into the shelter of the trailer and kiss him senseless.

But until then, they had each other and that was enough.

~

Also if you saw this yesterday NO NO YOU DID NOT!

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[augustjustice]

Living Dead Boy

rating: T | wc: 1.3k | cw: angst, fixation on death, survivor's guilt, ambiguous ending | tags: meta, prose poem, 2nd person, horror movie allusions, steve pov, steddie (technically)

AO3 Link

Notes: Sometimes, I think about how Steve was supposed to die in Season 1. ...A lot.

You are a character in a horror movie. 

In fact, you’re a very specific character in a horror movie. 

At best, you're eye candy, like Johnny Depp and his crop top in that movie you saw later, about nightmares and the guy with the blades on the end of his fingertips. A Nightmare on…something. Maple Street, is what it would be, if this was your life. 

(You sure as shit hope that’s not a thing, the part about dying in your dreams. You’ve had far too many nasty ones, since everything that happened, to get trapped inside them forever.) 

But, at worst, you’re…well.

You’re Asshole Boyfriend #1. You know, the preppy guy. The popular guy. The guy who’s a little bit dumb and a lot too douchey, who drinks too much and parties too hard and sleeps around. 

The point is, you’re the wrong guy.

Certainly the wrong guy for the flinty eyed girl who makes it all the way to the final credits, the one with her backbone of steel. She’s a little virginal. And smart, way too smart for you. Intrepid and daring, she’s gonna hack her way to the end, maybe swan off into the arms of Sensitive-Eyed Nerd Boyfriend #2, because, let’s face it. He’s always deserved her more than you have, anyway. 

That is, she will, at least…if she isn’t the only one to make it out of the story alive.

The point is…the point is, your fate has already been foretold. Cacked off somewhere towards the end of the second act, hoisted by your own petard. If this were another movie, the more salacious ones they play down at the drive-in two towns over from Hawkins, maybe you would have kicked it caught in the act, the little death becoming the big one as you offer the Final Girl the ultimate betrayal. 

Your horror movie’s a little classier than that, but that doesn’t mean you won’t meet the same fate. Not after what you and your friends do to our heroine, spewing bile at her in big-spray painted letters for everybody to see. 

You fucked it. There’ll be no coming back, not after that. You’ll die, and all that will be left is a visceral satisfaction on the audience’s part to see you go.

Because, let’s face it…you had it coming, didn’t you? 

It’s been said before. Not etched out in stone but typed out in ink. There’s no changing it. 

Your story’s already been written long ago.

—

But then, at the end of the story, you…don’t die.

You were supposed to, you think. You’re pretty sure, at least.

That’s how these things go. Right?

At least, that’s what you picked up on, during the late night horror marathons you can’t stop putting on after for their grim familiarity. A taste that follows you all the way to your job at Family Video, when your best friend and you watch them with dead-eyed fascination. 

It’s been prophesied, or whatever the hell the kids would say. Foreshadowed by all the shitty meathead boyfriends who came before you, your story sealed in their blood. 

Except…you don’t.

You don’t die. 

—

It's like you've been given this life–this second chance that you were never even supposed to have–and, the truth is, now you don't know what to do with it.

So, in the aftermath, you loiter and drift, lost without a real, clear sense of purpose.

At first, you and Nancy–beautiful Nancy, the girl who always makes it out alive, who was always meant to–dance around each other, because…well, because what else are you supposed to do? You’re Nancy Wheeler's boyfriend. That's who you're supposed to be. 

If you're not that, then.. what even are you?

—

That’s a great fucking question, one fate doesn’t seem content to let go without giving you a pop quiz. After all, you’ve seen this one before…Asshole Boyfriend #1 or Sensitive-Eyed Nerd #2. Who will she choose?

…Was it ever even really a question? 

—

So, you aren’t Nancy Wheeler’s boyfriend, and you’re not dead either. 

But, you know what you are great at?

Being cannon fodder. 

And, okay, so…maybe, if someone looked at it too closely, they might accuse you of having a death wish of some sort. 

But…that's not exactly right, is it? It can’t be. Because why shouldn't you be the human shield? You were supposed to be dead already, and you know it, so…it just makes sense. 

What other point is there to you?

—

The horrors keep coming back…they never really die, right? Always gotta show up for the sequel. 

And you keep stepping in front of them, because, like you already said…not much else you can do. Each and every time, you think this is it, you’ve reached the end of the line. Fate’s finally gonna catch up with you, take back what it meant to at the start. 

But somehow, against all odds…you keep coming out alive. No matter how many hits you take, how bloodied and battered you end the night. You’re still standing. 

—

The series has made it all the way to Upside Down Horrors Part 4. And, okay, so maybe you think about it every round, but this one…

You’re pretty sure you were supposed to die. For real this time.

But he died in your place. Splayed out, bloody, in your shared pseudo-little brother's arms. 

There’s no way it wasn’t meant to be you. 

Because, you and Eddie Munson, you’ve got nothing in common, right? Fallen King of Hawkins High and the King of the Freaks, what could you possibly? 

Except for all the things you do. 

He’s the mentor and reluctant babysitter of the party. The guy the kids look up to with stars in their eyes. 

Just like you are. 

He ran, that first time around, when the shit hit too close to home. 

Just like you did. 

A girl died in his house, and the guilt gnaws away at him, keeps him locked in a chokehold. 

Just. Like. You.

He’s even goofy and dramatic, makes his protests of your friends’ reckless plans known with the same loud chorus of No, no, no as you do. 

Hell, the parallels are so obvious, you were jealous of him, before. Afraid he was taking your place. You’d barely managed to carve out a spot in the narrative for yourself–you sure as shit didn’t need extra competition.

Now, you’re just glad to have somebody else on your side, for once. 

And there’s no way he doesn’t make it out of this one alive, right? I mean, Revenge of the Nerds, that’s all the rage. Guys like you get cut off at the knees, pay for your sins with humiliation or death while the audience cheers, vindicated at long last. 

But geeky loner outsiders? They come out on top. 

It’s poetic justice, or some shit. Robin would know.

So, that’s how you know it. That the narrative has slipped the tracks yet again. 

Because the one time you weren’t playing human shield, Munson gets the short end of the stick in your place?

It isn’t right. It isn’t fair. 

The universe is just fucking with you, at this point, you’re sure of it. Eddie was never meant for this.

It was supposed to be you. 

—

You can’t even call yourself surprised, when the boy who died in your place claws his way out of his grave like a creature in an old black-and-white monster movie, craving blood and covered in ichor.

And the truth is…it’s so easy, from there. You’ve been waiting so long for this moment, and you didn’t even know it until now.

So, when his wings wrap around your shoulders, you fall into Death’s loving embrace like an old friend. 

After all…you were supposed to be dead for years now.

[bleedingoptimism]

part four: Jeff

It’s been two weeks since their gig, two weeks since they last saw Steve.

Frank had been right in assuming Steve wouldn’t show up to hang out with them at rehearsals but Steve hadn't shown up at all, not at rehearsals, not at get-togethers or Hellfire meetings, they hadn’t even seen him at his work, although Jeff suspects that was because Robin was hiding him from them in the back.

He’s frankly a little offended Robin is being mean to them when they didn’t do anything wrong but he knows he would’ve probably reacted the same if someone had broken the heart of one of his friends.

And speaking of his friends, Eddie is been insufferable the last two weeks, he goes from quiet and twitchy to whining loudly about being stupid and blind and a mess. Gareth just agrees with him which isn’t helpful at all, Frank keeps telling him that it’s fine, he made a mistake, and he can still fix it, and Jeff keeps telling Eddie to shut up, man up, and go talk to him already.

But Eddie freaks out every time, says Steve is avoiding him, and that he wouldn't even know what to say if he saw him. 

Safe to say, it’s been a rough couple of weeks, and the worst part for them to admit is that they kind of, sort of, maybe? Miss Steve. This is why Jeff can’t help but get excited when they see him again.

The band is hanging out at Gareth's place, minus Eddie, who is studying at Nancy’s house just like every Wednesday since he came back to school. Something Steve knows, which is probably why he chose that moment to show up.

They are sitting in the living room chatting about their latest campaign, DMed by no other than their newest addition to the club, Will Byers, when there’s a knock on the door.

Gareth opens the door and Jeff and Frank lean over the couch to see who it is, surprised to see Steve there.

He’s holding the shirt Gareth lend him, washed and folded neatly, and on top of it is a box, a rich smell coming from it.

“Hey!” Steve says, “Sorry it took me so long to return this Gar. I brought you cookies! As a thank you”

And then Gareth does something that surprises all of them, probably himself too, he takes the offered items and puts them on the table beside the door and then hugs Steve.

Steve looks at them shocked over Gareth's shoulders and barely has time to return the hug before Gareth lets him go and pulls him inside by the wrists. 

“Dude! We missed you! Why did you have to disappear like that?”

“You know why” Steve smiles sadly at him.

“Are you mad at Eddie?” Jeff asks him as they make room for him on the couch, immediately digging into the box of cookies when Gareth brings it to the coffee table. But Steve just stands in the middle of the living room, probably not planning on staying long.

“No! Of course not!” he assures and runs a hand through his hair, “He didn't do anything wrong. I’m the one who fucked up. I should’ve never assumed tha-” he interrupts himself and shakes his head, grins at them “I shouldn’t have disappeared like that on you guys, I’m so sorry. After you practiced so much. Wished I stayed long enough to congratulate you as least. You were amazing!”

They smile at him, murmur some thanks, and then Steve claps loudly once, “Well! I should get going,”

“See you,” Frank says but it sounds more like a question and Steve picks up on that,

“I- look: the thing is, I really like you guys and I want us to be friends but I- I got everything mixed up in my head and I need some space to… deal with it. I need time,” Steve tells them and turns towards the door, 

“What if you didn't get it wrong?” Jeff blurts suddenly.

“Jeff!” Gareth exclaims shaking his head.

But Jeff is determined, “Steve, what if you were right, what if Eddie likes you back?” he says, ignoring Gareth.

“Well that kind of makes it worse doesn't it?” he chuckles, pinching the bridge of his nose,

 “No, but! See… Eddie didn’t know you like him too, and if you would just let him talk to you…”

And Steve laughs again but cruelly this time and he looks sad when he says, “Jeff that’s the thing, I haven’t been avoiding him. Yes, I didn’t show up when you hung out but It’s not like I’ve refused to talk to him. I’ve actually been waiting for him to talk to me. Does he even wonder what’s wrong? Because even if he didn’t like me back… I was hoping he would care enough about our friendship but it seems I was wrong about that too. I was wrong about… everything”

“Jesus Christ this guy is undefendable!” Jeff groans and Steve laughs again but this time is more sincere.

“You don’t need to defend him, I told you, I'm not mad” 

“It’s worse that you are sad, you know that right? I kinda wished you were mad at him” Frank says and Steve snorts, his eyes getting some of their usual shine back. 

“I’m gonna go but, I’ll be fine guys. We’ll be fine, I promise” He smiles genuinely and turns to leave again and Jeff stands up and walks him to the door,

“Steve wait, I know it's not fair for me to ask you this but, you know Eddie makes assumptions about people and it’s really hard to get him to change his mind about them, and he’s always thought of you as unobtainable” 

Steve's eyes go wide and his eyebrows raise before they drop in a frown, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about that”

“Nothing! Just I know Eddie will get his head out of his ass eventually, you just have to… just don't give up on him yet, please?”

Steve huffs and shakes his head, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Yeah, okay”

part one

part two

part three

part four (you are here!)

part five

☕🥐💕 cafecito?

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Someone is eager to see Mafia Mamma and that someone is me. So anyway.

When a twenty-two year old Steve Harrington gets the call, he isn't in the best spot in his life. Sure, he survived all the Upside Down crap, but his parents finally had enough of his so-called trauma ("the earthquake was bad, Steven, but you can't let that influence your life forever! It's like you're not even trying!"). He didn't get to college and his love life is abysmal, but hey, at least he does something useful now - he's training to be a paramedic and he lives in a small, old flat, regularly calling Robin and his gaggle of kids and hanging out with Eddie whenever possible. So maybe it's not the best spot in life, but it's his.

Well, apparently his great-uncle that his mother never really talked about died and asked that Steve takes over the family business in his will. Family business that is in Italy. Cool.

Look, Steve likes first aid, saving lives and all that, but, after the second shared joint with Eddie, admits he's curious. No one said it has to be forever, but maybe it would help him to try something else for a change. Eddie absolutely approves, squeezes Steve's shoulder, but - a little sadly, it seems to Steve - admits he's going to miss the only person who went through all the shit and stuck around. He even jokes he'll hide in Steve's suitcase and will go to Italy with him. "You know, somewhere far away from the Satanist rep. Well, Vatican is there so that's not ideal, but maybe with no murders and levitation this time, I'd just pass as the weird American?" And without thinking, Steve blurts out: "Come with me."

They land in Italy with almost nothing, Eddie with a beat up backpack and his guitar ("not even death or other fucked up dimensions will us part, Steve!"), Steve with a sports bag full of clothes and graduation pics of his kids plus Robin and Nancy, and his trusted hair spray. He really, really wanted to take his spiked bat, but apparently that would be a hazard on the plane. Go figure.

And of course, the "family business" is full of black suits, guns, rapid Italian threats and on top of that, the other families know that the old head of the family is gone and they smell the blood in the water. Especially when the new leader is barely an adult who looks more like a model than a criminal. And his friend who looks like a criminal? That one looks more like a petty thief or vandal than an actual mafia member. Now is their time to strike.

Turns out, that wasn't the best idea. Not when the doe-eyed metalhead grabs the nearest chair and smashes it repeatedly over the assailant's head while yelling "I-DID-NOT-SURVIVE-BEING-CHEWED-ON-TO-DIE-TO-A-FUCKING-BULLET-YOU-MOTHERFUCKER!" while the new boss reaches for the nearest lamp and, like a bloody ninja, renders three assassins unconscious, then setting down the bloodied rod (goodbye, lamp shade and light bulb) and tells his advisor that he wants a baseball bat, a hammer and a bunch of nails. For...reasons.

They gradually settle in. Steve excels in keeping his family in line by adopting his best mom pose, hands on hips, while sternly uttering "What did we say about excessive violence, Francesco? Hm? If you start there, what do you do when you need to escalate? Why do you start with the worst? And they call me dumb." When his bodyguard cocks his gun and asks who called him dumb and where do they live, Eddie snorts into his coffee. (also Steve later apologizes to Francesco for calling him dumb, but also adds that rules are made to be followed, especially those that save a lot of blood and pain)

As for Eddie, without the academic pressure he becomes and unstoppable language student. He's like a sponge, being semi-fluent while Steve struggles with basic phrases. They study together and Eddie begins feeling more confident, takes up more languages and slowly starts functioning as Steve's interpreter and teacher in one. Also a bit more, when they have to evade another assassination attempt and Steve finds himself laying on top of Eddie, on the ground where he pulled him to save him from a nasty punch, and no one comments on it when they get up a few seconds too late, their lips and faces red.

Eventually Steve becomes fluent as well and that's when Eddie experiences the best time of his life - when they walk together in a market, bodyguards giving them just a little bit of privacy, and someone spits on the ground behind them - "stupid American." But before Eddie can react, Steve throws a bitchy look at the offender and says in perfect Italian: "and you look like a poorly shaved goat, yet I'm not judging."

Eddie howls in laughter and nudges Steve's side. "Careful, Stevie. I might think you don't need a teacher anymore."

Steve wraps his arm around Eddie's waist. In here, surrounded by the bodyguards and his family, he can finally do that. "Maybe not. But I'll always need a boyfriend. Wanna apply?"

[deceptive-daydreams]

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 |

Smoke Signals

Chapter Ten - A Chemistry Lesson

W/C: 8.2K

Eddie x Fem reader - Grumpy!Bartender!Eddie x Shy!Reader

And for once, you let go Of your fears and your ghosts One step, not much But it said enough

You Are In Love - T.S.

A/N: so i decided to split the chapter up, I started moving into another scene and it only felt right to give it it's own chapter as it opens up the night. i hope you guys love this chapter as much as i love this chapter <3

Masterlist

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“Dustin Henderson!”  The younger boy shoves past both of them confidently, his hand shaking yours impressively.

“We have heard so much–”  Robin begins though she’s cut off by Steve lightly smacking a hand against her stomach.

Frozen.  You’re frozen in time, an influx of information and new faces rendering you a speechless idiot.  Each one stares expectantly, awaiting some kind of a response, more than likely drawing their own conclusions about your silence and lack of communication.  They were going to be so disappointed in your shyness should they even have the patience to wait around.

Before you can humiliate yourself, Steve saves the day as an offended Robin glares at him, rubbing her stomach rather dramatically.  “Donnie.”  He states, only creating further confusion.  Several people stood before you and Donnie was not one of them, you were now struggling to keep up with the current interaction at the mention of her.  Overstimulated.  You were definitely overstimulated.  You can’t even imagine the dumb face you were sporting, the silence too loud as you struggled clinging onto words.  Any words in the English language at all at this point.

“Donnie has told us all about you.”  Steve elaborates finally.  “All good things, I promise!”  He chuckles, seemingly attempting to ease your anxieties that had made themselves evident in your wide eyes and worried forehead creases.

“Oh.”   

“Yeah, yeah!  And she’s told us all about how you’re Eddie’s new babysitter.”  Robin chimes in again, earning a pointed look from Steve.

Eddie’s reaction is lost on you, his existence temporarily vanishing as you take in the current conversation.  The idea of being perceived was one thing, it was entirely another to be perceived by four strangers who had apparently already been made aware of your existence.

“What she means is that we’ve heard you’ve been a good friend.”  Nancy softly smiles.

Friend.

You didn’t quite know why but the word felt insulting.  Not on any account of Nancy’s, there was no malice detected in her tone though you were still intimidated by her and figured with her being the prettiest girl in the room, she must at least be on Eddie’s radar.  The word ‘friend’ was starting to feel vulgar the more it played over in your head.

“Yeah, ‘friend’.”  Dustin uses air quotes, a wild grin on his youthful face.

At this, Steve delivers a harsh smack to the boy’s abdomen, more aggressive than he had done to Robin seconds ago.  

“Henderson.”  Eddie reprimands.

His voice lures you in despite your inner protests, your gaze traveling over each unique face until it settles on his.  That familiar distress showcases itself in the form of a frown; there was no telling what reaction you had expected of him but something about it makes your heart drop, your stomach feeling as if it was free falling in the worst way possible.  Were you really that repulsive?

It was obvious Dustin had only been joking but the disgust on Eddie’s face only forced your tear ducts to strain, your eyes becoming glassy in seconds.  It was a long shot, thinking that there could be any semblance of interest on Eddie’s part and you suppose you should be to blame for your hurt feelings.  He owed you nothing and here you were mourning over something that never was, all because he had let you see a piece of the inner workings of his mind.  It didn’t warrant a one way ticket into his heart.

“What!?”  Dustin shrugs, unbothered.

Robin steps forward, an apologetic smile gracing her features as she addresses you.  “I promise we’re not all gigantic dinguses.”

A flood of complaints spills from Dustin and Steve, Nancy only rolling her eyes at the interaction before taking the initiative in pursuing the conversation with you as the others bicker, Eddie only spectating the whole scene playing out in front of him.

“Dustin doesn’t always know when to keep quiet.”  She giggles, subtly pulling you to the side, her hand gentle as it rests on your forearm.  It almost repulses you, although your logic kicks in and pieces together that this woman has never done anything to elicit such a response from you.  “But he always means well.”

The heat was dying down, the unsolicited jealousy now tame within the confines of your body, not totally gone but no longer raging just beneath the surface.  If it were up to you you’d ball up the lingering feeling and burn it, if it were only so easy.

“Are they brothers?”  You ask, recalling that night you drove him home.  He only spoke of his uncle, Wayne.  He did also mention Dustin but never insinuated that they were related.  Based on the way they were interacting, you’d assume they were brothers in some sense of the word.

“Where’s your family?”  Eddie suddenly mumbles, eyes still glued to the scenery outside.  

The question is out of the blue and the last thing you would expect from him.  Although he had taken somewhat of a liking to you, he’d never taken an interest in something so personal.  And you offered him that same respect.  

“What?”  You ask, sneaking a glance at him, your hands squeezing the wheel.

His focus shifts from the window to you, his body turning inward as he leans his cheek against the headrest, waiting for your response.  The way his lips pucker from his cheek squishing against the seat only makes your heart clench.  His large awaiting eyes reflect the moon and you find it hard to change the subject when they appear so patient and attentive.

“Um, well, they’re back in…back home.”  You answer simply.

“Where’s that?”

He looked the most inquisitive you’d seen him, body turned toward you, his attention not once wavering.  Instead of the usual knit brows he often wore, his features remained softer and full of wonder.  Lips parted and eyes twinkling, who were you to deny his efforts?  Even if he was slightly under the influence.  Worst case scenario, he doesn’t remember this conversation.

“California.” 

“Oh.”  

You didn’t know what kind of response you were expecting but for some reason, the one word was a bit too vague, self consciousness kicking in.  

“What about yours?”  You shift the spotlight over to him.

From what you can tell as you keep your focus on the road, his gaze drops while he collects his thoughts, his breathing going shaky for just a second before he regains his composure.  A hum deep in his throat notifies you that he’s ready to begin speaking again.

“Uh, don’t really have one.  Never really have.  Or, uh, I just don’t remember them?  Other than my uncle, Wayne.  He’s back…”  Eddie hesitates.  “He’s in Indiana.”

Nancy’s gaze follows yours, locking in on the two boys catching up.  “Dustin and Eddie?”  Her puzzled expression already grants you your answer, though she continues.  “No, no they’re not related.  You’d think they are, with all the fantasy stuff they talk about and what not.”

“Fantasy stuff?”

“Dungeons and Dragons.”  Her perfectly plucked brows raise.  “My brother used to have me play with them, thank god Eddie stepped into the picture.”  She mutters.

“Eddie did mention Dungeons and Dragons.”  You nod. 

“And Dustin’s little drawing.”

“And the drawing?”

Your grin along with Nancy as you simultaneously speak, a few giggles filling the air between you.  

“So your brother is…Dustin?”

Amidst the calm conversation, Steve and Robin are cheering a few feet away, both of their arms now slung around Eddie.  It wasn’t clear what they were celebrating and it even seemed that they were just trying to embarrass him in that true friend fashion.  It was sweet, how much they cared about him, the lengths they went just to surprise him.

Nancy gracefully shakes her head, brunette curls bouncing with the movement and freckled nose scrunching playfully.  “No, no.  Dustin is one of my brother’s best friends.  Mike is my brother, he’s back at home in–”  Before she can reveal where ‘home’ was, her bright blue eyes widen.  “Back in Indiana.”  She corrects herself.

“I think Eddie’s mentioned Mike a few times.”  You recall the conversation, how he took Mike and Dustin under his wing in highschool.  “He couldn’t come?”

“He’s studying for midterms.”  She shakes her head.  “He really wanted to come but…you know between his girlfriend in California and college it’s just all…a lot.”  Her eyes are kind, probably the kindest you’d ever come across.

“I’d love to meet him one day.”  You smile, only hoping that you were reciprocating the same compassion she was radiating.  “And Max, and Lucas, and Wayne…”

Nancy’s eyes seem to brighten, ears perking up at the names.  “He told you about everyone?”  She asks softly, her baby pink lips upturning slightly.  

You nod.  Another eruption of laughter and shouting forces your attention toward the rest of the group, a proud grin displayed on Dustin’s face only hinting that he had just made a joke that even had Eddie hunched over in laughter, Steve’s arm still draped over his shoulder with his head thrown back.

“That is not funny.”  Robin pouts, arms crossed.

“I think it’s pretty funny.”  Steve smirks.

Nancy politely excuses herself from your one-on-one conversation, joining Robin’s side.  “What’s not funny?”

“When Robin swallowed an egg whole–”

“It’s not funny!”  Robin continues to protest.  “I almost died!”  

This only makes the boys cackle more, pulling an eye roll from Nancy.  

“C’mon Nance.”  Dustin grins.

“Yeah, c’mon Nance.”  Eddie chimes in.

Nance.

Why did it rub you the wrong way when he said it?  You assessed Nancy’s body language and nothing conveyed to you that she had any interest in him, however your mind continued it’s unruly torture.  Even so, Eddie had made it clear what he thought of you, that you were ‘too busy dry humping’ Jett and that even though that couldn’t be further from the truth, he would still lose respect for you.

Heat burrowed deep in your belly once again, the kind that wasn’t yet uncontrollable but should anyone add fuel to the fire would result in your own self destruction.  All because Eddie had to go and cause a scene.  All because he had a temper that never rested even when it appeared dormant.  

“I-um, I’m gonna go get the drinks–what did–what did everyone want?”  You manage to pitifully scramble the sentence together and eventually get your point across.

“Stevie!”  Donnie interrupts, crushing the poor guy in a tight hug.  It makes you question her disgust for physical touch.  

Steve doesn’t seem to mind, a twitch of his eye only projecting a smidge of discomfort but other than that he contently hugs her back.  They begin catching up, everyone completely ignoring your request for their drink orders.  It’s not their fault you were so invisible, it was just your nature, you were always meant to be put on the backburner until further notice but for some reason it causes an extra deep pang in your chest this time.  Especially since Eddie had completely disregarded you as he jumped into the conversation.

With the tiniest huff, you quietly step away to make yourself useful behind the bar.  A pair of blue eyes follows you, considerate blue eyes that you attempt to ignore.  If you looked carefully enough, you’d see that pair of ocean blue eyes making connections between yourself and a certain brown eyed man.  You were in no mood to act as a detective though.

–

It was irresponsible.

Your track record so far was evidence enough.

But as you stared down the bottle of tequila sat in front of you, howls of laughter and echoes of inside jokes entering your ears even from the other side of the bar, it seemed like more and more of a good idea.  Or like the only idea.  

You could have one shot, just to relax the nerves, make you more approachable.  No one would notice.  You could come off as the friendly stranger in the background instead of the miserable mouse in the corner.  It was for your benefit.  Your thoughts would become less intense, your bitterness would melt away.  Eddie would temporarily become the dream boat he had previously been in your eyes rather than a mouthy douchebag, your hazy mind would erase his wrong doings if only for a few hours.  

You hope.

Or maybe you’d open your eyes and see what Eddie was seeing, had you really shown any interest in Jett at all?  Maybe a shot would be enough to introduce you to the narrative.  Maybe you should let loose and throw yourself at Jett for the fuck of it.  Bad decisions were starting to sound more appealing the harder you stared at the bottle of liquid courage.  Until your careful thought process was interrupted.

“We doin’ shots?”  

The deep but soothing voice catches you off guard, calm brown eyes and concerned brows gaining all of your attention.  They weren’t the brown eyes you secretly hoped for, even if they were the most infuriating sight you could possibly be faced with at the moment.  No, they were a lighter hue, the overhead light casting golden flecks within the irises that regarded you with genuine interest, his lips pressed together tightly as he awaits your answer.  In his hand he holds what looks to be a scotch on the rocks though it could also be whiskey, you were no expert quite yet.

“Uh…no.  I dunno.  Maybe?”  You squint your eyes painfully.  “Forget I said that.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell the others.”  Steve takes a seat at one of the vacant stools directly across from you.  “But…”  He clicks his tongue.  “If you are going to, count me in.”  He smiles charmingly, finishing off his drink.

“I…”  You’re about to take the sensible route, you’re so close to making the right decision.  Then again, bad decisions were far more tempting.  Especially with the help of an unaware acquaintance.  “Okay.”  You sigh, offering him a friendly grin.

Without further consideration, you pop the bottle cap off, pulling out two sparkling shot glasses and setting them on the counter confidently.  At least you didn’t have to drink alone.  

“Munson giving you a hard time?”  Steve suddenly inquires.  Your eyes nearly pop out of your head which you assume is why he elaborates.  “I know he’s kind of intense.  The first year he moved out here he was…he was so fuckin’ unhappy y’know?  And I know what you’re thinkin’: Why is this guy, Steve, who I just met, going on about Munson?”  He begins to ramble.

Slowly, you start to pour the foul smelling alcohol into one of the glasses as you listen intently.  A few drops trickle down the side but it goes ignored as you watch Steve’s every move.  He toys with the glass he’d just finished off, spinning it over and over again in circles atop the bar, a ring of condensation following.

“Don’t–fuck how do I say this?”  He pushes a weft of voluminous hair back.  “Don’t give up on him.”  Steve practically pleads.

You stop pouring the tequila, pausing to chew on your lip and look at him in confusion, which encourages him to continue.

“Look, Donnie was talking about how–how you’ve been really good for him.  And I don’t know–I just–I could sense that…you were mad at each other–you and Eddie, I mean.”

He takes your silence as a means to further explain and god, he could feel a migraine coming on just by the way he was stirring things up but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.  Not when Donnie had been so adamant about Eddie being in such good spirits since you showed up only to come face to face with an almost seething Eddie, and Donnie wordlessly conveying to him that something was wrong.

“The point is, I know that he’s an asshole, okay?  Whatever he did, I’m sure he deserves a slap to the face.  Just–don’t give up on him.”

Steve’s words sink in.  You aren’t sure what has been said but it’s apparent that the tension between you and Eddie tonight was obvious among his friends.  You ponder his request–to not give up on Eddie as you fill the second shot glass and slide it across the counter.  If anything, Eddie had given up on you by accusing you of messing around with Jett.  It was insulting and humiliating.  Dehumanizing.  

“I think he’s the one who gave up on me.”  You admit, tossing the shot back with teary eyes.

The sting spreads down your throat, the potent smell filling your nostrils as you slam the glass down.  Your eyes are glassy though you only hope Steve can gather that it's just from the alcohol and not the idea of Eddie essentially throwing whatever you had in the garbage combined with the burn of tequila.

As if caught off guard, Steve quickly throws his shot back, apparently an expert as he doesn’t flinch, only widens his eyes as he slams the glass down as you had.  He exhales heavily, nodding, thinking to himself.  You await more wise words, more advice that he had no business giving although you appreciate the sentiment anyway.

“What are you doing?”

The world feels distant and not because of the alcohol.  Your blood runs hot, most definitely because of the alcohol.  The question is asked with such outrage that it almost has you shaking.  Getting caught was more embarrassing than any outcome you could’ve imagined though you didn’t even try to hide the evidence, didn’t even go as far as to take shots in the back.  Did you subconsciously want Eddie to catch you?

“Nothing.”  You mutter, quickly capping the bottle and setting it on its designated shelf.

“I just saw you.”  Eddie grits, hands splayed out on top of the bar, his arms spread out as he attempts to keep quiet so as not to interrupt the customers scattered throughout the bar. 

Eddie’s glare burns a hole into you and maybe it’s because of Steve’s sudden advice, the fact that he felt the need to stick up for Eddie even when he didn’t know the whole situation, but you refuse to give in.  He holds a fire in his eyes that you hastily reject as you begin cleaning out the shot glasses.  It was your goal to come off as unbothered but you fear you’re coming off more as guilty.  Like a dog that had been caught chewing up the family couch.

“It was my fault.”  Steve chimes in nonchalantly.

Eddie glances over, brows knit together in irritation.  “Your fault?”

“Yeah, we were getting acquainted.  I insisted, it was–”

“Steve had nothing to do with it.”  You fess up.

Eddie’s face reveals a whole other level of rage, his eyes nearly glazing over with black.  You fucked up.  That much you could admit to yourself.  Steve appears to be panicked, his gaze glued to the bar top, his hands gripping the edge, nails threatening to dig into the wood.

“Meet me in the back.”  Eddie demands, pushing himself off of the bar.  

Terrified doesn’t even begin to explain the list of feelings coursing through you.  You’d never seen him as angry as he was tonight.  You were drinking on the job, something that in a small town usually isn’t a big deal but with all of the tension hanging in the air, you could only assume it would add to his irritation.  It would only give him more ammo against you.

Steve offers you an apologetic stare, clearly also taken back by Eddie’s irate mood.  And then, he half nods as if to wish you good luck before standing and making his way back to the rest of the group.  As you timidly step out from the bar and round the corner, you catch Nancy’s sapphire eyes before they disappear, your legs carrying you into the narrow hallway where the office was located.  Except Eddie wasn’t in there and you could only conclude that he was outside.  ‘Meet me in the back’ meant ‘meet me outside’.  Which could only mean he was about to unleash hell on you if he needed to completely remove you from the building in order to reprimand you.

You don’t let yourself prepare, you need to face him without any thoughts clouding your judgment, only further shoving you into the hole you dug yourself.  With a push to the metal door, you’re met with an aching cold, the kind that stings the surface of any exposed skin.  Immediately your cheeks burn, a few snowflakes landing delicately among your eyelashes.  You should have grabbed your jacket.

Leaning against the hay bales stacked like a Tetris game, is Eddie.  A cigarette hangs from his lips while he struggles to keep the flame on his lighter alive, the wind fighting his every attempt.  He grunts in annoyance, his head tilting toward the sky as if to personally ask it ‘why?’.  Already, his cheeks and nose are tinted pink, borderline red.  You contemplate asking if you could talk inside but you quickly bite your tongue, you didn’t want to be the one to initiate the conversation.

“What’s your problem?”  He asks simply.  As if he were asking for the weather forecast.  It’s insulting, quite frankly.

“My problem?”

Suddenly the fear that had consumed you seconds ago dissipates, no longer plaguing you and being replaced with a wrath you’re convinced no one else on the planet could pull from you.  Even worse, he refuses to look at you, keeping his stare on the cloudy evening sky.  

“Are you trying to get fired?  ‘Cause I should fire you right–”

“Oh yeah, go ahead.  Fire me.”  

He’s quiet, attempting to light his cigarette once again.  This time he succeeds, the stick catching the flame as he inhales and tucks his lighter into his back pocket.  You begin to question if he even cares about the cold until you see the goosebumps pricking across his arms.

“I should.”  He mumbles, taking another drag.

“Great!  I’m glad we’re on the same page.”  You reply, sarcasm dripping from each syllable as you rub up and down your exposed arms.  It didn’t help that you decided to wear a skirt and tights tonight either.  

Without time to process, he takes a large step toward you, his breath hot as it fans across your face.  A sense of softness flashes in his eyes before they return to the fiery nature they previously exhibited.  His cigarette idles in his hand at his side, his jaw clenched and visibly tensing before he scowls.

“Same page?”  He bites.  “The same page.”  His free hand rubs along his jaw in thought.  “Okay, if we’re on the same page then explain to me why you’re doing shots with Harrington?  If we’re on the same page then we must be reading completely different languages because you started this.”

You scoff, his statement on replay in your ears.  Each time it plays again you find yourself even more enraged.  “I did?”  You’re smiling but there’s not an ounce of happiness in your features or your tone.  

Eddie backs away, the heat from his breath is missed, no matter how mad you are and no matter how strongly it smelled of smoke.  He paces, turning around before coming full circle and facing you again, another deep drag from his cigarette indicating that he’s stressed.  Then he nods, bangs falling into his eyes as he does.

“You did.  You just–you start ignoring me, start acting like I’m not even a person?”  He points the cigarette at you and you’re starting to believe that in the midst of his rage, he’s completely forgotten about the cold whereas it was the only thing you could focus on.  Regardless, you fight through it, even if your teeth chatter.

“And, and–hold on.”  He shakes his head, curls following his movement as he rushes inside.

Great.

He left you out in the cold, literally.

You weren’t going to wait, his disrespect wasn’t going to keep prodding at you, not if you had anything to say about it.  He didn’t get to storm off and leave you outside in the freezing cold, even if you did do something you weren’t proud of.  He was probably going to wait and see how long you would hold out, how long you would sit in the cold before inevitably running in and looking for him, how stupid you would look–

The door squeaks open again, smacking against the wall as Eddie comes racing out, leather jacket in hand.  Well, if he was allowed to grab his jacket then so were you.  His cigarette hangs from his bottom lip as he begins muttering around it.

“You started treating me like I didn’t exist, I don’t know how normal people react to that but–”  He adjusts the jacket, flattening out the material before draping it over your shoulders, encouraging you to put your arms in the sleeves.  “I assume any normal person would be fuckin’ pissed so I guess I’m not–I’m just not understanding.”  He says a bit harshly.

You don’t react, frozen as he waits for you to put your arm in the sleeve.  While he’s still visibly aggravated, his eyes also communicate something else to you.  The deeper you look into them, the more his pupils dilate, a nervous gulp noticeable as he awaits your reply.

“C’mon, you’re freezing.”  He whispers, a large contrast to his previous tone.  It’s warmer, it’s familiar, it’s like home.

“What about you?”  You mumble, staring dumbly into his big brown eyes, his lashes heavy against his cheeks, unlike how they were seconds ago when he was wild-eyed and riled up.  He was still riled up, that was for sure but now…now it was diluted with something else.

“Don’t worry about me, Bambi.”  The term of endearment slips from his tongue effortlessly.  Like it was meant to fall from his lips directly into your ears.  Like it was meant for you and only for you, always.

With parted lips, you can see your breath escape into the night.  You know he can hear your labored breathing and you should be embarrassed but you can’t find it in yourself to care when his gaze softens, the sturdy exterior he had built up again crumbling just as it had that one night.

“I do worry.”  

It falls from your lips quicker than you can contain it.  You shouldn’t be offering him such compassion, not when he was so okay with insulting you hours earlier.  But pools of melted chocolate never left you any other choice but to get lost in them.  He moves in closer, ever so slightly, only enough that you feel the familiar warmth of his breath on your cheek, so that you can still make out his whole face.

“Don’t.”  He says breathily.

“Why?”

He only shrugs, his focus trailing down your face, reaching every inch.  It makes you want to shy away but you can’t, not when he looks so sincere.

“‘M sorry.”  He whispers, reaching up to brush a rogue strand of hair from your face.

Your instinct is to ask ‘for what?’, but you know better.  You don’t need to play dumb, both of you are aware of his nasty words and your tendency to take things to a level they should have never gotten to.  You’re both to blame.  But you don’t need to pretend to not know what he’s apologizing for.  There’s no pretending with him.  So you can only hope that he’ll see through to the deeper meaning of your initial question. 

“For what?”

For what?  Would he say that he’s only sorry he hired you in the first place?  Or that he’s sorry he ever met you.  Would he understand your words and be in tune enough to decipher them?

“Everything.”  He whispers.

It’s quiet, almost eerily but not.  No, it’s too peaceful to be eerie.  The first snowflakes of the season are still falling and you’re standing outside the bar with Eddie Munson, a man who was so stubborn he seemed almost impossible.  Almost, but not.  Never for you.

“Everything.”  You repeat.  And he knows he owes you more.

“Everything.”  He swallows the lump in his throat that was preventing him from saying the necessary words.  It goes down smoother than he expects.  “Every second I was ever an asshole to you.  Especially my stupid ass comment about Jett.  I-I was mad and I took it out on you.  I tend to do that pretty often don’t I?”  He laughs humorlessly.  “I don’t think less of you if you’re actually…y’know.”  He gestures vaguely.

“What?”  You ask, genuine confusion taking over your features.

For a moment, his eyes shift back and forth, as if to beg you not to make him say it.

“With Jett.”  He mumbles, gaze now avoiding you.

“With Jett.”  You repeat in disbelief.  “I have done nothing to suggest we are at all together.”  You scoff.  

“I know.”  Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, as if he’s bracing for more choice words from you.  They don’t come.  “I know.  I just, he got in my head and–”

“Got in your head?” 

“It was nothing, he got in my head and got all, I dunno protective?  If that’s even the word.  He just seemed jealous, okay?”  Eddie explains.  “I know that’s not an excuse for what I said.  I’m really sorry for saying you dry hump–”

“Don’t ever use the word dry hump and Jett in a sentence where you’re referring to me again.”  You laugh.  This time humor floods through you.  His whole demeanor relaxes, shoulders less tense.  “It’s happened one too many times.”  You cringe jokingly.

“Okay, that’s fair.”  He smiles, that boyish grin returning to his face.  The one you hadn’t seen in days, the one you missed every time, the second he directed it toward you the first time.  His dimples deep, eyes shy, he still lingers close to your face, neither of you protesting the invasion of each other’s space.  “Now put your arms in the sleeves.”  He demands, tugging on the collar of his jacket still laying over your shoulders.  “Please.”  His face only inches closer to yours as he convinces you to shove your arms into his jacket.

“We’re about to go inside, I won’t need it.”  You argue, crossing your arms in front of you, a hip jutting out with sass.

“Oh okay, we’re back to this then?”  He smirks, finger grazing the button at the lapel of his jacket, almost scorching the skin of your neck.

That familiar spark ignites in his eyes, the fire that showcased so much unexplored emotion, so many uncharted territories within the man before you.  You wanted to explore them all, you wanted to hold his hand and trek across each foreign feeling.  You wanted to bathe in the sparks and light yourself on fire to speed up the process.  You didn’t just want to burn for him, you wanted to burn with him.  Your soul was drawn to him, you wanted to melt into him, melt into his touch, even if it was just his fingertip.  You’d take what you could get.  And you were really convinced that he wanted the same things solely based on the way he was looking at you with heavy eyes and rosy cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m not done addressing my grievances with you.”  You joke.

At this, he lights up even more, his entire face exhibiting pure fondness.  His lips are so perfectly pink, a little chapped, but the sweetest pink you’d ever seen.  They were pillowy and plush and as he licked them you blinked, falling out of your trance.  Then, his hands travel down the zipper of his jacket, only touching the worn material and not at all forcing his touch upon you though he longs to feel your warmth.  

Instead, he pulls you forward by gripping each side of the jacket, leaving you no choice but to come flush with his chest.  You welcome the heat, the sudden warmth that engulfs you like a cozy blanket calms your chattering teeth.  

“Yeah?”  He whispers, nose nearly bumping against yours.  You wish it would.

“Yeah.”

Your lashes just barely flutter against his cheek, only teasing him of what he actually desires, and you don’t even know it.  He’s glancing between your eyes and your lips and your internal reaction is to scream at him to just do it.  But is that even what he’s hinting at doing?  Maybe there was something on your face.  You weren’t going to assume his intentions and make yourself out to be a fool.

He hums in response, his hands still tightly clutching the jacket, the damn jacket that you were now wishing he never put on you just so you could feel his skin, the heat of his hands against your arms.  The ache was becoming too apparent in your chest, you needed him and there was no way to express it.  You couldn’t.

He smells of tobacco and a hint of pine.  Even a tiny bit of spice from some kind of cologne you’d grown used to smelling on him.  There’s a waft of beer falling from his breath as well, not too obvious, but obvious enough that you can gather that he had at least had a beer before work or during his break.

“Do me a favor?”  He asks.  And in that moment, you would do anything.

“Mm?” 

A quick finger pokes your nose playfully.  “No more tequila.”  

You can only laugh along with him, almost burying your head in his chest but refraining as you enter your body again.  This was not a daydream and he was not someone to call yours.  Fooling yourself was only going to get you hurt.

“I’m serious, it fucking stinks.”  He scrunches up his face in mock disgust, plugging his nose, you giggling along with his antics.

With that, he pulls away, leaving you feeling frigid, already missing his presence even if he was still right in front of you.  Opening the door, he gestures for you to go ahead of him.  The atmosphere had been flipped upside down, all hostility left outside in the cold to be swept away in a snowstorm.  

–

“And then Eddie fucking jumps off his roof!”  

The bar fills with laughter, unfiltered, stomach grabbing laughter of five friends and yourself.  The regular customers had long gone and paid their tabs, leaving the bar empty and the possibilities endless as everyone shared treasured stories over beers and drinks.  Steve appears to be pleased with himself as the laughter carries on for over a minute.  The image of Eddie drunk and jumping off of his roof as a means to prove he can ‘fly’ only to face plant into the ground and be driven to the ER was somehow the best entertainment you’d been faced with in a while.  

It was mentioned that he didn’t get injured too badly and only required a few stitches above his eyebrow where you could now seek out a scar and remember this night.  The night Eddie’s friends accepted you into their circle.  Even if only for the night.

“Well what about when you got a lampshade stuck on your head.”  Eddie points at Steve with his beer bottle.

Steve only offers a disapproving expression as the giggles erupt once again.  Robin sits to your right while Nancy sits to your left.  The pair had immediately taken a liking to you and moved chairs just so you could sit between them.  It felt nice, you felt welcome.  You had no worries and nowhere to be.  And for once that made you feel alive rather than anxious.

“Okay, but can we talk about you babysitting Eddie on Halloween?”  Nancy attempts to hold in her laughter.  She had said it quietly but not quietly enough as Eddie deadpans her.  

Robin lets out a shriek of laughter, clearly intoxicated.  You can only grin at everyone’s reaction.  Steve and Dustin had gotten into some kind of a ridiculous argument and throughout the night, you noticed it was a regular occurance.  They paid no mind to embarrassing Eddie further but Nancy had no issue with it even if she wasn’t outright talking to the whole group in the first place and only you and Robin.

“What, Munson?  You got plastered and she had to save the day.”  Nancy giggles.  She had obviously been a little wine drunk, a tiny bit tipsy.

“Yes, it’s very funny.”  He says monotone.  “Can we find a new joke now?”  He asks, rolling his eyes although you know he’s only playing around, his lips threatening to pull themselves into a smile.

“It’s okay to get white girl wasted every once in a while.”  You banter.

“Oh, it is?”  Eddie raises a brow.  “It’s okay to puke all over me after getting white girl wasted?  Off of my tequila?”

The table erupts in a series of ‘oh’s’.  You could take offense.  But it was so much more fun to mess with him.

“I’m not the one who got puked on at least.”  You shrug, unbothered.

The table gets loud again, siding in your favor based on their volume.

“Yeah?”  He asks.  As if you two were suddenly the only people in the bar.  As if his friends had disappeared.  As if you were back outside behind the bar just a few hours ago.

“Yeah.”  You answer, a certain softness in your tone that only he could understand.

Nancy’s gaze flits in between you, mischief crossing her features for a brief second, you swear you see it.  But nothing comes of it as she turns her attention to the argument that Dustin and Steve had started up again.  Robin chimes in every now and then, hiccuping dramatically.  You and Eddie, though a little buzzed, can’t stop staring at each other from across the table.  His gaze is heavy and yearning but for what you’re not sure.

His bottom lip continues to get tugged in between his teeth, abusing the already chapped skin as he unknowingly communicates his nervousness.  The only thing you’re sure of is that he won’t tear his eyes away from you.  Not for Steve’s request to aid in the argument, not for Dustin’s screeching voice demanding he take his side, and not for Jett who was making it known that he was leaving for the night.  Eddie only mutters in response, something along the lines of ‘see you tomorrow’.  Steve and Dustin are too caught up to even pay any mind to Eddie’s ignorance to their debate.  Robin is in her own world, curling her legs up to her chest in her chair as she becomes fascinated with the wood grain in the table while Nancy pretends to be preoccupied with swirling the wine in her glass and acts as if she’s listening to Dustin’s reasoning, nodding every now and then.  But you notice the way her diamond eyes take in the scene before her.  And now you’re sure that she has no interest in Eddie nor has she ever shown it.  

But she does have an interest in whatever was happening between you and Eddie.  She was studying the chemistry.

–

It was 4:00 AM, the sun would be emerging just on the Horizon within hours.  An exhausted Steve lays his head on the table over his folded arms.  Drool threatens to fall from the corner of his lip onto his sleeve, his mouth hanging open as he sleeps almost like a newborn.  Every other breath a deep snore rumbles through him.

“This isn’t even the weirdest place he’s fallen asleep.”  Dustin snaps a polaroid, the flash doing little to make Steve stir in his slumber, his eyelids only twitching as he navigates his dreams.  “One time we found him under his bed.”

You chuckle at the sight, Steve had been completely hammered off of several beers and a few shots of vodka that Robin had convinced him to take with her.  The second he wakes up, he’s in for a rude awakening, you’re sure.  

“Do you take a picture every time?”  You ask as Dustin hands off the developing picture to you, only to continue getting just the shot he wanted as he crouched down to get a better view of Steve’s face.

“Of course.”  He laughs, stating it like there was no other option.

“Steve’s reputation with drinking isn’t necessarily…the best?”  Nancy speaks, setting a fresh glass of water on the table in front of him.

You’d learned throughout the night that Steve and Nancy dated in highschool and although it was a nasty breakup, they remained friends and it never was weird after that.  They respected each other as they did their other friends and it showed.  

“I mean…I don’t think it’s that bad.  He’s just sleeping.  I’ve dozed off while drunk a few times.”  You defend.

“Yeah but have you dozed off in places people couldn’t even find you until we tore the house apart?”  Dustin counters with raised eyebrows.  “He also used to reign under the title ‘King Steve’ if that tells you anything.”

Showing your hands in surrender, you begin collecting the remaining glasses from the table.  Several dozen shot glasses that had provided a good night but would surely bring on a rough morning for those that had participated.  You’d taken two shots throughout the night and had half of Robin’s Dirty Shirley that she couldn’t seem to stomach.  And she wouldn’t quit until it was gone so you humbly volunteered seeing as she was already almost obliterated, stumbling around anytime she got up and slurring every word.

Robin was now talking Eddie’s ear off as she sat at the bar, narrating every piece of her life that he’d missed since she visited and last updated him.  You could vaguely make out her explanation for still not getting her driver’s license, stating that Steve was more than okay with being her chauffeur for the foreseeable future.  Then she insisted that should she get her license, she’d be an even worse driver than Eddie used to be so it’d be in everyone’s best interest to keep her off the roads.  

Eddie hums along to the conversation, letting Robin steer the topic as he leisurely polishes the glasses he hadn’t gotten to earlier, his friends occupying his full attention a majority of the night.  An impressive pile of glasses and cups are building up on your tray, Nancy assisting in collecting what she could as she follows you toward the bar.  

“Nance!  Tell him!”  Robin whines.  “Tell him how I’m a danger to the roads of suburbia!”

“You are most definitely a danger.”  Nancy smiles softly, moving Robin’s bangs out of her eyes with her free hand before delivering the glasses she’d collected onto the counter.

“See!”

“No need to convince me, Buckely.”  Eddie throws his rag over his shoulder.  “Although I’d probably have the time of my life with you behind the wheel.”  He grins, scooping up the tray you were having trouble setting down.  “But I’d also prefer to live a little longer so you avoid that DMV for as long as you can.”

Nancy nods in agreement, taking a seat on the stool next to Robin.  As you rush around the counter to assist in washing the remaining glasses, large brown eyes follow you, as if they missed you.  Like they’d never been happier to see you.  You still shy away from them, only because you’re not sure how long you can last until you melt, until your knees collapse beneath you and you’re a puddle on the floor.

“So what’s our game plan this time for getting Steve to the car?”  Nancy asks.

“Leave ‘em here.”  Robin slouches in her seat.

“Rob–”

“I second that.”  Eddie chuckles.  

“You guys are awful!”  Nancy proclaims.

You can only giggle to yourself, bubbles coating your hands as warm water leaks down to your elbows as you scrub each glass.  A sudden hip jabs into your side, creating enough room for Eddie’s lean frame to partake in the chore.  

“What’s so funny, Bambi?”  He questions, quiet enough for only you to hear.

You shake your head, still tuning into Robin’s scheme to leave Steve behind.  She had obviously been joking, the two constantly bickering with one another throughout the night like siblings only proving so.  But she seemed to enjoy pressing Nancy’s buttons as she persisted in her idea of abandoning the poor guy.

“Nothing.”  You mutter.

Your backs are facing the two girls, neither of them able to sneak a glance at Eddie’s wandering eyes that you could very clearly spot just out of your peripheral vision.  His hands continued to concentrate on the task at hand though not very well as he scrubbed the same tiny shot glass for at least two minutes too long.

“Y’know, you’re not being very helpful.”

With a click of his tongue, he finally sets the overly-clean glass atop the drying rack, reaching over you in the process.  It only made you aware of his comforting smell that you had basked in out in the cold earlier.  You’d never imagine wishing to do dishes for the rest of eternity but here you were, hoping that an eyelash would fall onto your cheek just so you could wish on it to stay in this very moment.

“‘M not?”  He smirks.

“Nope, you’re just making more work for me.”

“Oh, you tell him!”  Dustin suddenly peaks over both of your shoulders, quiet as a mouse until he had made his presence known.  It startles you, a gasp escaping your lips.

“Henderson, don’t sneak up on people like that.”  Eddie holds a hand over his chest.

“Look alive.”  He shrugs, snooping around at the shelves that would otherwise be obscured from his view on the other side of the bar.

“Nothin’ for you back here, you’re not even twenty one.”  Eddie turns around, leaning against the sink and crossing his arms.  

“Wha-oh don’t be like that!  I only have like two more years and that’s rich coming from you of all people, Eddie.”  Dustin points a finger, sticking it harshly into Eddie’s chest.  

“Do as I say, not as I do.”  Eddie mumbles, returning to his task, snatching up the last two glasses that remained before you could, swatting your hands away.

“What’s he talking about?”  You dare to ask.

Dustin brings an arm over your shoulder, the other over Eddie’s, a huge grin plastered on his face as if he’d been waiting for you to ask the question.  Eddie only offers him a side eye, nothing malicious but a light warning.

“Eddie here used to have a big reputation.”  He explains, patting him on the back.  Eddie only rolls his eyes, clearly indicating that he didn’t have any real issue with Dustin revealing pieces of his past.

“Oh?”  You wipe your hands on a nearby rag, turning toward Dustin, intrigued.

“Yeah, he used to be the friendly neighborhood drug dealer.”

Your face doesn’t shift, only making it more difficult to gauge your reaction.  Eddie starts to fear that this was going to be your wakeup call.  Your revelation as to who he really was.  He knows Dustin meant know harm in it and to be fair, the kid had probably snuck a few beers away from Steve.  There was no ill intent, only playful banter although Eddie hadn’t anticipated how you might have felt about his previous endeavors until after Dustin spoke those words.

“Dustin!”  Robin calls for his attention, chewing on a cocktail straw.  

Without a second thought, the boy turns his attention toward the two girls sitting at the bar, making his way around to take a seat next to Robin only to assist her in some kind of party trick she had been trying to work out with a napkin.

“How’s it go?”  She mutters around the straw.

Eddie stares at the bubbles in the sink like they’re the only thing in the room, his eyes following each one drifting toward the drain and idling at the bottom of the basin as the remaining water drains.  Sparkly little bubbles created reflections in his eyes that could resemble stars.  And he waits.

He waits for your reaction, waits for you to detach yourself from him because god, he didn’t know what was happening between you two since stepping back inside the bar all those hours ago but he didn’t want it to end just because his past put you off.  It was inevitable that the single good thing happening to him would come to an end.  That this night would end.

He doesn’t expect you to shove your hip into his just as he had done to you earlier, twirling a rag in between your fingers, offering him a smirk.  

“Big reputation, huh?”  You playfully raise your eyebrows up and down.

Relief washes over him.  It doesn’t have to end.  This night isn’t over, maybe he can have whatever this is for a few more minutes, an hour if he’s lucky.  He’d delay going home if it meant you’d keep toying with him, teasing him over silly little things that his friends had told you about.  He didn’t mind, not when your face would light up at every tiny ‘secret’ you were let in on.  Eddie knew very well that his friends had been enlightening you with small details about his life back in Hawkins, about every time they’d visited Knife’s Edge, all the big moments and embarrassing drunk shenanigans.  He didn’t mind.  Because it meant that they’d already accepted you as one of their own.

“Shut up.”  He gently nudges your shoulder with his.

~end~

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tags - @gravedigginbbydoll @ohauggieo @spicysix @lunatictardis @ali-r3n @batkin028 @mrsjellymunson @witchwolflea @emma77645 @emxxblog @eddiesxangel @angietherose @lottie-90 @sheneedsrocknroll92 @pullingattheroots @avalon-wolf @vintagehellfire @cryingglightningg @foreveranexpatsposts @winchester-angel @mmunson86 @witchwolflea @kurdtbean @micheledawn1975 @tlclick73 @erinekc @hazydespair @whenshelanded @corrodedcoffincumslut @ms1oftheboys @lma1986 @uglypastels @aysheashea

[sleepy-wyvern]

Billy Hargrove x Female!Reader (SMUT CHAPTER 2)

Chapter: 2/4 (smut in next chapter) Part 1 here, Part 3 here, AO3 version

Summary: Billy pursues an uninterested reader trying to gain her adoration. When reader finds her crush kissing someone else that's when she realizes her feelings are towards the wrong guy.

TW/CW: persistent flirting, cigarettes, marijuana, violent threat (not towards reader)

This fic only contains characters that are 18+ and will contain smut, as such 18+ readers only, minors absolutely DNI

For the lovely @strangelysupernatural !

You shifted your weight from one leg to the next, mind buzzing with thoughts “I need to think, Billy.”

You turn, hesitating before you leave. Him acting like this was the very last thing you expected. Perhaps he really wasn’t how he had seemed at first glance.

“I’ll… see you around. Then we’ll talk.” Perhaps your words would’ve sounded fake to let him down easy but when you looked into his eyes he knew that wasn’t the case. 

The boy you were crushing on all week suddenly dropped that bomb shell on you of being back with his ex but you had to find out the worst way possible. On top of that, you had kissed Billy fucking Hargrove, the guy that had been chasing you since you moved here. You needed time to think and then you could talk to him with a clear head… clearer, at least.

He nodded, understanding “take all the time you need.”

You nodded back before turning, walking away. You expected to feel his eyes follow you but they didn’t.

The only thing you could think to do when you got home was to call Bunny. You hadn’t even taken off your shoes as you raced to the phone on the kitchen wall. 

“Bunny,” you gasped, holding the old plastic white phone to your ear “I kissed Billy.”

“I’m sorry- you WHAT?!” Her voice yelled at you and you winced, “what about Steve I thought you were hitting it off?”

You could hear Eddie in the background saying something but you weren’t sure what, as Bunny hushed him. 

“Yeah, well, he was kissing Nancy fucking Wheeler in the hallway.” Your anger had mostly dissipated into confusion since the encounter. 

There was more shuffling on the other side of the phone before she answered “we’re coming to get you. Let’s talk in person.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon.” You reply and put the old phone back on the receiver. 

It took all of your willpower to not bite your nails as you waited on the cement steps outside your house. After what felt like an hour but was surely just minutes, a van pulled up with a driver who had shaggy brown hair that could only be Eddie Munson. 

Bunny wove to you from the passenger side and you hopped into the back seat. 

“Jesus fuck,” you whispered. 

You only knew Bunny for what, 2-3 weeks? But you were oh so thankful for her support. Her caring nature made tears well in your eyes but you had other things to work through right now. 

“Thanks, Bunny. You too, Eddie.” You click your seat belt in. 

You weren’t sure where you were headed but you were grateful to be away from your house. 

“I just do whatever the missus tells me to,” Eddie admits and Bunny gently smacks his arm. 

You watch your street roll away as Eddie drives onward. 

“Where are we going?” You asked. 

“Just the diner.” Bunny answered looking back at you sweetly “when shit like this happens I think you deserve a milkshake.”

You smile sympathetically, genuinely glad to have your new friends. 

“Told you Steve Harrington was no good.” Eddie said and Bunny glared at him. 

“Not helping!” She whispered. 

Eddie tapped the steering wheel to the heavy metal song as he thought for a moment “open the lunch box. That’ll help.”

Bunny did as he suggested and took out a white rolled joint. You hadn’t dabbled in marijuana in a long time but figured it was a good excuse to. 

As Eddie pulled into the diner parking lot Bunny lit the joint with her lighter, taking a long puff before handing it back to you. As you take a drag your body starts to relax more, processing everything that happened. 

Eddie left the van on while you smoked together so you could drown your thoughts in the music until you were ready.

“Alright, let’s get that milkshake,” Bunny looked back at you with a smile before opening the van door. 

The diner was quaint and looked like any other. Still it was cozy enough. There was black and white chequered tile with bright red booths. The walls were lined with framed pictures of celebrities that likely never set foot near this town.

You sat down as the waitress took your order. You ordered your favourite flavour of milkshake and a basket of fries. Eddie and Bunny sat next to each other, while Eddie ordered a coke and a basket of fries Bunny got a vanilla milkshake with you. 

“So,” Bunny spoke up after the waitress was out of earshot “what happened?”

“Well, maybe I misunderstood things,” you look down at your hands nervously “but I thought Steve liked me, you know? We’d call until late at night, he always spent time around my locker.”

“He made it seem that way,” Bunny reassured “you’re not in the wrong for thinking that.”

Her words did help you as you continued the story. “I saw him against the locker making out with Nancy as I was leaving class.”

Eddie rolled his eyes genuinely annoyed, “I told you I knew he was good for nothing.”

“-and then Billy saw the whole thing. I was starting to cry so he chased after me.” You hesitated before continuing, remembering how you melted into his kiss. 

“He told me that what Steve did was wrong and he apologized for chasing me around and flirting with me.” You spoke and Eddie raised his eyebrows. 

“Wow,” he shook his head. “I did not expect that from him.”

“We shouldn’t judge a book by its cover,” Bunny insisted. 

“Right, but the first chapter ain’t looking so hot.” He replied “until now that is.”

“What happened next?” Bunny asked eagerly. 

“Well,” you hesitated, looking out the window “we kissed- I kissed him.”

You expected Eddie and Bunny to wince, scold you or even laugh but they didn’t. Instead they listened intently to what you had to say, eyes soft with understanding. 

“The plot thickens,” Eddie comments.

“Well, is he a good kisser?” You expected the question to come from Bunny but she was laughing while it was Eddie that asked. 

You think back to his peach lips and then you nod reluctantly “well, uh, yeah.”

“Did he get to second base?” Bunny asked and Eddie sighed. 

“Buns, you can’t ask the girl that!” He rolled his eyes but Bunny paid no mind.

“No- Ms. O’Donnell uh,” you blushed “caught us and told us to stop kissing in the hall. Not that it would’ve gotten that far-“

Eddie’s eyes widened “see Bunny! I told you she’s evil!”

“Your F in her class has nothing to do with this,” Bunny glared at him. “Besides, we have bigger problems here.”

“-and he told me he liked me.” Eddie looked from Bunny to you shocked as if watching a reality tv show unfold in front of his eyes. “Well, he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me since he met me. He was serious about dating me.”

They both looked at you expectantly and you felt helpless suddenly.

“I just, I don’t know what to do.” You tapped your fingers against the dining table nervously. 

“Well, do you love him?” He asked. 

Before you could answer the waitress came back, placing down all of your drinks along with your basket of fries and Eddie’s burger. He immediately went to grab it, taking a large bite of it. You could tell he was still intrigued with the conversation though. 

“I think it’s too soon to tell,” you admitted, “but of course I like him. Especially after today.”

“Did you kiss him just to get back at Steve?” Bunny asked, somehow she knew the right questions. 

You thought for a moment before shaking your head, taking a deep sip of the sugary cold drink “No. Nobody was there to see. Except, uh, Ms. O’Donnell.” You scratch your head embarrassed. “I did it to see if there was anything between us.”

“Do you think he’s changed?” Eddie asked in between bites. 

You shake your head dipping a fry into the shake “I don’t think he needed to, necessarily. Just be smacked on the head to get reminded and realise how he’s acting. I told him to stop bothering me a few days ago and he listened, until he saw me crying. After the kiss…” You trailed off looking down at your milkshake. “He really wants to talk to me about everything.”

Bunny looked to Eddie who shrugged before chugging some soda. 

“If you like him, it wouldn’t hurt. If he treats you wrong, promise you’ll high tail it out of there?” She asked you intently. 

You smile “I’ll be as quick as a Bunny.”

“Well, maybe not, I don’t run that fast.” Your laugh joined hers as it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

You now knew what you had to do; confess your feelings for Billy Hargrove. 

You thanked your friends for their lovely company and insight. You went home feeling more confident now but wishing you had Billy's number to call. Instead you had to wait until school tomorrow to see him, which maybe was for the better so you could sleep on it. 

You couldn’t sit still or sleep still so you headed to class earlier than normal. Even so, he was there waiting, leaning against the cool brick wall with a cigarette between his lips. 

Despite your brain asking what the hell am I doing? Your heart convinced you it was the right choice as you approached.

“Y/n,” his voice was low as he held his free hand in his jean pocket “how are you feeling?”

You shrugged adjusting the strap of your backpack as you did “better, thanks."

His eyes met yours and it was then you noticed in the morning rays that his eyes were blue. How had you not realized that before? Normally they just seemed dark or clouded but now they were blue as the sky above your head. 

“Listen, Billy... I’m not promising you anything,” you glared cautiously and he raised a brow, “but I’ll take you up on that date if you’re still offering.”

His white teeth glimmered as he smirked down at you “you won’t regret it.”

“I’d better not,” you folded your arms. “I’ll let you choose the place. Pick me up tonight at 6pm, my house.”

You told him your address and that was that. Still despite your threatening glare he seemed giddy like a child trying to hold down their excitement on Christmas Eve.

“You better put that thing out if you plan on kissing me again,” you smiled as you walked past him, almost immediately hearing the stomping of his foot putting the butt out.

Part 3 here

===

tag list: @alienthings my lovely loons 💙 thanks so much for all of your support!

Thanks so much everyone for reading, chapter 3 with smut will be released very soon!

-Wyv

💙💙💙💙

[scoupsahoy]

starting from zero

for @strangerthingsreversebigbang with art from @anaccidentwaitingtohappen

When Robin suggests that she and Steve skip town, he assumes she’s joking. She’ll say stuff like that all the time, because Hawkins has bumpy roads that exacerbate Steve’s migraines, and because the kids and be annoying and cliquey and exclusive, and because she’s heard from her aunt in Chicago that some women over there dare to have queer little haircuts and girlfriends whose hands they hold in public.

So when they’re watching Dirty Harry in the middle of the night and Robin says “we should move there,” Steve laughs and takes a sip of his beer.

Harry says the line about feeling lucky, and then Robin says “did you know that punk used to be slang for, like, a gay guy, or something?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Lots of gay people in San Francisco, by the way.”

Harry finally kills the Scorpio guy. “Yeah, it seems real safe there,” Steve says.

He’s not looking but he can feel Robin shrug next to him. “Can’t be worse than Hawkins.”

The camera does a really gross zoom in on Scorpio’s stupid bloody face, so he looks right at Robin, who looks deadly serious. Her mouth is small, the way it gets when she’s trying to shut herself up. The way she looks when the gears in her brain have been spinning for too long without letting anything out.

That’s when Robin gets dangerous. She’s a planner. Steve can usually see right through her, but there’s always been enough for the both of them in this town – or, well. He always thought there was.

“Are you– what’s going on?” She looks a bit like she’s going to cry, which is so unlike her that it makes Steve’s heart shake.

She takes a deep breath. “What if we just left?”

“Hawkins?”

“Indiana,” Robin says, shrugs again, gets a wild look in her eye. “The country.”

Steve cracks a smile. “The world, even.”

Robin laughs, this great big beautiful sound that fills the room and travels down the hallways. The house doesn’t ever feel dark or empty with her inside, with her pantomiming a rocket launch to outer space, like she can imagine living on Mars with him like he can with her.

“What’s even keeping you here?”

It’s a loaded question. In theory, this is his home. In it, everyone he’s ever known, ever loved, ever heard of. Except for his parents, who might be in the Hamptons and might be in Vegas. Except for Nancy, in Boston. Except for half the town, lost in the rubble of an earthquake they all pretend happened.

He stays, really, because Robin is here.

And Steve, for a long time, hasn’t been able to shake the nagging feeling that she could have had more if it wasn’t for him, that she might go anywhere for him, and he’s the one who’s too cowardly to think of leaving. Robin’s chosen to stay, despite her little jokes about leaving. Despite a girl she fell in love with over a whirlwind summer leaving for college in Texas. Despite the little horrors of this town and the passions she could have easily followed. She has ambition and talent and drive. She has family and she knows what she wants and she knows who she wants it with.

And the worst part is that Steve is the one she wants it with.

There are days where he locks himself in his house, sulking and exhausted and alone, and she climbs in through his bedroom window, just as determined as he used to be before all of this. She plays with his hair and draws on his shoes and brings over movies he’s never seen and he would stop the spinning of the world for her.

He knows anyone would, if they had her like he does.

It’s been eating him alive, a little bit. He’s been frozen in time and space since a chasm opened up in the town and left him completely unable to move.

Steve takes a deep breath. “I don’t know. What’s keeping you here?”

“You,” Robin says, looking at him hard past her eyelashes. “Dingus.”

“You want to go to San Francisco? To live?”

“Yeah, I think we could do it.”

–

There are some things you can’t really say out loud without ruining the magic of them.

Steve and Robin go to work the next day and the day after that and the day after that. Robin had found them another job at a restaurant on basically the other end of Roane County where they get paid like shit but can work for tips. They’ve both been working full-time since Robin graduated high school, saving up for nothing in particular, skirting past a new shitty manager and getting free meals for the kids when they come in.

Steve supposes, once the idea is up in the air, that another reason he’s held back for so long was because of the kids, with all the things they’ve gone through, and all the people that have left them. He doesn’t want to be another person that leaves for better things. Steve’s a person who’s been left, in so many ways. It always feels like a betrayal on the other end of it.

So they don’t say anything about it to anyone, not even really out loud to each other, until one shift after weeks and weeks of saving and shuffling and looking at listings from newspaper clippings they get sent from Jonathan in California and Nancy in Boston and Robin’s aunt in Chicago. Jonathan and Nancy and even Robin’s relatives don’t bother asking questions, are secretive enough on their own, so there’s no pressure on that front.

Erica sits at a booth on a Sunday afternoon teaching Robin how to make friendship bracelets on her lunch break while the restaurant is dead.

“Why aren’t you with your friends?” Steve asks, stealing a french fry off Robin’s plate and eyeing their work.

Erica rolls her eyes, ever expressive. “I hate the birthday boy so much that it wouldn’t even be worth it to go and make fun of him. Plus, I’m getting too old for birthday parties.”

“Yeah Steve,” Robin says, holding up her bracelet. “She’s too mature for that.”

“Don’t condescend to me,” Erica fires back. She pulls at Robin’s sleeve to gather a bit of the string and tighten it before it falls apart on her. All things considered, Erica’s always been one of their favorite of the kids, if only because if she didn’t want to stick around, she wouldn’t. And yet she’s always there.

Robin and Erica talk lowly while they graze and gossip, right up until Erica turns around in the booth to level Steve with a look while he busses the next table over. “So when are you guys leaving?”

“Uh,” Steve checks his watch. “We have like three and a half more hours.”

“That’s obviously not what I meant and you know it. When are you leaving? Like, moving away, skipping town, getting out of here?”

Robin turns around too, now, giving Steve a look that says she hasn’t even alluded to that. Erica is startlingly perceptive, though, and cares way more about the people in this town than she’d care to admit. With all the people who have moved away in the past few years, all of the kids who she went to school with who left because of the earthquake, it’s not exactly all that surprising.

“When we can afford it, basically,” Robin says finally. Steve has a weird lump in his throat that keeps him from saying anything before that. Something about having to look Erica in the eyes makes it seem all the more real.

She still raises an eyebrow at him. He shrugs.

“Where are you going to go?”

“Not too far that we won’t visit,” Robin says, reaching up like she’d dare try to pinch Erica’s cheek. “Don’t worry.”

Erica purses her lips and glares harder, and if Steve knows her like he thinks he does, he’d guess her face was hot and embarrassed under all of that sarcasm. “Like I care. I just figured you’d start telling people at some point if it’s so obvious that I’ve figured something’s up.”

“What do you mean we’re being obvious?” Steve asks.

“You know,” Erica gestures a little wildly. “You guys have been acting weird. All quiet and secretive with your little conspiratorial looks. And you offered to help me make friendship bracelets. You’re getting in your weird older sibling fantasies and that either means you’re dying or you’re moving away. You’re not dying, are you?”

Steve smiles. “Nah, we’re fine. And we’ll let you know when we’re actually making real plans.”

“Well. Good.”

There’s a bit of earnestness that peeks through, a little bit of personality that’s only for people she really likes. She helps them make beaded friendship bracelets for each other, pastel pinks and blues, and she keeps the secret just as good as either of them.

–

People who know Robin the way that Steve does know that she has an overcompensation streak that could rival anyone. She’s stubborn and superstitious and anxious and combats all of her fears by learning everything she could possibly need to know about them. By the time Erica figures out that they’re leaving Hawkins, Robin decides she’s going to learn everything there is to know about every major city in the United States. By the time she tells her parents that she’s going to save up and move out, she’s got an entire notebook full of notes and plans and phone numbers and addresses. She is positive that she can do it on her own. She doesn’t need help.

There are no cracks in her plan, in her demeanor, in her routine. Especially facing Steve. She tells him he worries too much for his own good anyway.

There’s one moment, though, before they get too far into their search, before things are finalized, right after they decide on San Francisco after all:

Robin has her nose in three different books from the library in the next town over. She’s got her pen in her hand and she’s taking her notes. She’s got a crease in between her eyebrows and takes a shaky breath that sounds a little too familiar.

Steve, at the other end of the couch, two books of his own that he’s trying way too hard to understand, about the logistics of moving across the country, pokes at Robin with his toe. She looks up at him like she might collapse.

“What if this is a horrible idea? Like, a catastrophic idea. Like we’re going to die before we leave, kind of idea. I know you didn’t read that Stephen King book that just came out, but what if it’s like that? Those kids are haunted and what if we’re haunted?”

“Robin,” Steve starts.

She pushes a book about taxes off of her lap and onto the floor, folding some of the pages in a way that’s going to make her feel bad later. “What if I don’t find any jobs out there? And then I have to do street art for tourists who think I’m an idiot for not going to college?”

Steve reaches over and touches her on the shoulder, rubbing gently. “Robin.”

“What if girls don’t like me?” She really looks like she might cry, now. It’s rare enough that Steve’s heart lurches violently in his chest.

“They will.”

“What if they don’t?”

“Well you’ve got me,” he says. “And we can get married for tax benefits, and girls will see you with a wedding ring and probably flock to you even harder.”

And like a shot, Robin snaps out of it enough to roll her eyes. They put the books down for the night.

–

There’s a long day where Steve’s mother calls their landline just to check on him. She’ll do this sometimes, ask how he’s doing, what he’s eating, make comments on if it’s enough or if it’s too much. She makes comments about Robin, whose name she only barely remembers from the times Steve has shouted it from across the room while on the phone. She tells the same stories about how her and his father will be coming to visit soon, and he laughs and almost believes her when she tries her hardest to seem earnest.

But it’s been a long day, and Steve works for tips and makes shit money, and he and Robin don’t know what they’re doing because they don’t know anyone who’s doing it alone like they are. They’re so close to leaving that every day left feels a little like torture. And he’s alone in his house, empty while Robin’s with some band kids on break from school. And his mother says “we’re thinking of coming to visit soon, your father and I,” and Steve actually laughs. She ignores it. “He misses you, you know. You can call the car phone whenever you’d like, I’m sure he’d pick up.”

And they both know it’s a sick lie, because his father gave up on him years ago, never even bothers to come on the line when his mother makes her pity calls. The line goes silent while they both sit there and wait for some truth to come out of it, and Steve almost feels bad for this woman who clearly forgot how to be a mother back when she prioritized being a wife.

“Well,” she says, eventually. “We’ve actually got to get going, sweetheart. Your father has one of those boring old work events tonight in Santa Fe.”

“Alright,” he manages to say.

She takes a deep breath, like she’s gearing herself up for another lie. “We love you. We’ll visit soon.”

Steve hangs up.

Robin will be dropped off at his front door by morning, he knows, and he also knows that she doesn’t need to be let into the house in any kind of formal way. It’s just as much hers as it is his. And it’s more of their house than it ever was his parents’. And Steve imagines, just for a second, what would happen if he locked all of the doors and windows. If he changed the locks and ate the keys. If he filled the entire house with concrete and smoke before he left the place to die.

He wonders if his parents would ever find out. If they would bust the door down looking for him, the way Robin would. She would climb down his chimney if she was that desperate to get inside. Steve locks the front door for the first time in what feels like years and falls asleep in his parent’s bed, untouched for a year at this point, staring at the popcorn ceiling.

Most of the rest of the house, everything worth saving, is packed into boxes. His entire life. And this whole room was left untouched for his parents to return to.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes up to Robin plopping cross-legged at the foot of the bed with her hands clasped together. Her hair is messy and she had a bit of eye-makeup on that’s smudged, and she looks entirely awake.

Once Steve’s awake enough, Robin starts talking. “I don’t think I’ve ever even seen this room.”

“You like it?”

“It’s extremely ugly in here,” she says, turning her nose up at the tacky hotel room art on the wall, the exact thing that Robin would hate. “But we could probably rent it out in the paper. Pretend to run a bed and breakfast or something.”

“My parents would freak if they saw that.”

Robin, gracefully, doesn’t point out the obvious, which is that his parents would never notice or care. She doesn’t have to. Their wedding photo with the cracked frame says it loud enough. And there’s a ringing in Steve’s ear that hasn’t gone away for hours, taunting him.

When he was younger, he would run to his parents room and his mom would rub his temples with her fingertips, gaudy manicure scratching his hairline.

“Do you think we can sell this place before we leave for extra cash?”

Steve smiles. “I don’t think Hawkins is exactly prime real estate right now.”

“Not to mention this place is, like, really ugly.”

“Well there’s a reason I never come into this room–”

“No, I mean,” Robin squints. “The entire place. Every room, not just this one. When we get a house it’s gonna be way cooler than this one.”

“For sure.”

“With short ceilings. I hate the echo.”

“And these awful, gaudy chandeliers,” Steve says, glaring at the ugly crystal light fixture above the bed. When he was younger, he used to have nightmares about it falling and crushing his parents. He doesn’t dream much anymore, but it’s one of those dreams that stuck with him.

“I kind of want to hit it with a baseball bat.”

That shocks a laugh out of him. “Like a piñata?”

“Yeah,” Robin says, eyes glowing. “Don’t you?”

Steve stares at it for a second. “I used to play baseball.”

And then they’re standing in the center of the room with a full children’s baseball bag. “This is stupid.”

Robin’s eyes are wide and wild. “Maybe,” she says.

“They’re not even going to notice, you realize that, right? They’re in Santa Fe, probably cheating on each other and mingling with other shitty parents who don’t care about their children. They’re probably never going to even bother coming back.”

“Doesn’t that piss you off?” Robin takes Steve by the shoulders, shakes him. “They should care about you, Steve! They’re your parents! They’re supposed to care about you, it’s their job! And they’re bad at it! Doesn’t that make you mad?”

Steve flexes his jaw. “Yeah.”

“Good! Because it makes me livid!” She throws the baseball in her hand at the horrible light fixture, aimed so that it bounces off in a different direction, and an ugly hunk of glass falls and shatters on the ground. The sound reverberates around the entire house, the way Robin’s laugh does. This person that cares about him more than his parents or the town or the people that left without considering what that would do to him. The people who left without asking first. The glass shatters into thick, ugly carpet that crunches under their sneakers, and so he throws the baseball in his hand, too. It leaves a dent in the drywall above the headboard, and it feels like his heart gets cracked wide open, and he bleeds cold throughout his body, and it’s the best he’s felt in months or maybe even years.

Robin yells loud enough to rumble the house and stir the neighbors if they ever cared, and she rips clothes off their hangers while Steve hits the vanity mirror with the baseball bat. They rip the nice, expensive, hardly-used sheets and joke about burning it up. They joke about burning the entire house down and leaving tonight. They shut the door and lock it behind them, and they don’t open it ever again.

–

The town wishes them goodbye. Or, at least, the people left who care about them wish them goodbye. The Byers-Hoppers throw a little party, and Dustin has a shitty little speech, and Max pretends to cry early on, and then actually cries a little bit when they get to their cars to leave. Erica holds it over everyone’s heads that she knew first, and they leave for San Francisco the first thing the very next morning, just the two of them, holding hands, a scorched sign that says “come back soon” in front of a rising sun.

[harringtonhurst]

best kept secret / steve harrington

part one here

“They honestly don’t think we’re buying this right?”

Dustin strained his neck turning back, trying to look for where the two of you ran off to. “It’s kinda cute, honestly.” Max shrugged, Robin’s arm clutching hers, eyes glued to the screen even though she had the most objections in horror to begin with. “When you do think they’re gonna tell us?” Asked Lucas. Robin finally shut her eyes away, turning to the conversation, trying to tune out the shrieks and bloodbath.

“Don’t know, I say this week. You know how long I had to listen to him pine? Now that he’s got her, no way Steve’s gonna take not touching her all the time for more than a day.” Robin groaned, but she was eternally happy for her bestfriend. After flings and Nancy and one failed target, endlessly looking for the one, now he’s finally found it. Found you. Her eyes widened and signaled the others to stop their speculations as you came in sight. It became hushed, too quite for any of them, out of character. Your eyebrows knitted as you took your seat.

“What’d I miss? Why’d you guys get so quite when I got here?” Everyone simply scrambled for anybody to say a word, reaching for anybody to quit their hemming and hawing and say something, until everybody looked to Robin. She raised a brow, reluctant, lips curved down and blurting out the first thing in her mind.

“Oh, uh Dustin let one rip.”

Dustin pursed his lips, ultimately accepting the humiliation as you looked to him, puzzled and amused. “Yeah. Too much popcorn.” You stifled a laugh, turning back to the movie.

/

“I wanna tell them.”

Steve turned to you, a mouthful of whipped cream, mildly shaking his head for comprehension. “Really?” He exclaimed, muffled, spitting some for you too. Your tongue brushed your gums, choosing to ignore what had happened as he brushed the residue off your cheek. “Sorry. Really?” He spoke, much clearer now. “Yeah, I do. I think I’m ready.” Steve’s gaze softened, a grin from ear to ear as he placed a short lived kiss on your lips.

“Alright.” He sung, falling into your arms. He pressed his cheek against your shoulder. “How shocked do you think they’ll be?” He looked to you, as you tried to picture each of your friend’s faces when you walk in hand in hand with your now boyfriend in front of them. After all the insults, be it lighthearted you’ve thrown and him and the amount of stupid arguments you had in the worst moments. “I don’t know, but I’m excited. They’re gonna be so surprised.” You laughed. “Yeah, I can’t wait to see the look on their faces.”

/

You inhaled a sharp breathe, glancing for reassurance as Steve brushed his shoulder with yours, tilting his head down. The door creaked as you pushed it open, your friends gathered around a board game only Dustin seemed to be enthused to play. “Hey guys?” Steve’s voice granted the attention to the two of you, standing side by side with an uncontainable, slightly unsettling smile. Robin tilted her head, “Hello, creeps. How may we help you?” She quiped, bringing her hands forward like a welcoming gesture. You turned to him again, signaling for him to take the lead.

“We… have something to tell you guys.” He placed a hand on the small of your back, slightly nudging you forward. The others sat, unamused, awaiting for continuation, for the most part already suspecting what was gonna happen. Seems like Max, Lucas and Mike owed Robin 5 bucks. Steve turned to you, one last look of are you sure, and you answered with a smile. He slipped his fingers into yours, lacing them together as Robin turned to Max, eyebrows raising as an I told you.

“We’re dating.”

The room fell silent just as it did before, the two of you looked to one another, confusion sinking in. Lucas sighed, rustling in his pocket and reluctantly handing a five in Robin’s extended hand. “Why aren’t you guys saying anything?” You finally say, Steve’s grip tightening in your hand. “Cause we already knew, lovebirds.” Nancy laughed, shaking her head. Steve’s eyes widened, “What? How? We didn’t—huh?”

“Dingus, your constant oogling made it so obvious.” Robin looked around the room, earning hums and nods in agreement. “Seriously?” Your frown and confusion broke into a smile, slightly disappointed there was no surprise. But in a way this was quite a nice reaction. They received the news like you and Steve just quoted an obvious weather forecast of some sort. You rolled your eyes, dragging him with you to join the others. “It was easy for me to spot when his pining look to you turned to blissful heart-eyes.” Robin shrugged as Steve pushed her shoulder.

“Wait, how long has he had a thing for me?” You took Robin’s hand and her eagerness to tell you lit up.

“Oh, let me tell yo—“

“Robin!” Steve interjected and you grinned as Robin continued to ramble on. Sure, you had wanted some sort of reaction from them, shock or fainting or questions or whatever, but in a way this was just as fulfilling, even better in some way, they accepted and teased the two of you and turns out they were sharper than the two of you anticipated.

Or, Steve was simply that horrible in hiding how he felt about you.

[mmmfanfiction]

okay, so I just wanted to blab about something I noticed about my favorite final girls, and that’s their questionable personality’s.

now, I’m going to be talking about Sally from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Stretch from TCM 2, Nancy from Nightmare on Elm street, and Kirsty from Hellraiser. Spoilers for all the og movies, TCM 2, and Hellbound:Hellraiser 2

Now you may be wondering ‘Erin, what do you mean by the personality problem?’ Well my dear friend, I mean that a lot of them are lacking in the personality department, Sally being the worst case and Stretch being the best. This isn’t to say they all have bad personality’s, just to say there could be room for improvement. I’d also like to say these are some of my FAVORITE movies. I have watched tcm at least 4 times (tbh probably more then 4) and Nightmare on Elm was one of my favorite movies for a good while.

now I understand that the creators might not be focusing on personality when everyone’s getting murdered, but I still think it’s worth talking about. Now, let’s start with Sally. This is based purely off the first movie, as I don’t have access to the others and have also heard everything after the second sucks, this also goes for most of the movies so please keep that in mind. I cannot name one thing she likes to do, I have more of a grasp on Pam’s (the astrology girl) personality than I do Sally’s! The best thing I have personality wise for Sally is her relationship with her brother and the fact she mentally breaks a lot, (eg how she panicked in the house and when she was with Drayton, and maybe when she was getting irritable with Franklin, but that might’ve been from him insisting that she was mad ticking her off) she doesn’t have any hobbies or interests, even going onto the wiki I couldn’t find anything. Again, I can pick out more personality from her friend Pam or her brother Franklin I think this could be easily fixed with more screen time for Sally, or when she’s alone with Franklin have her bring up possible interests or points of view on life, or even in the beginning scenes she could bring up things she likes, or her friends could poke at her for liking something or something she did before.

The next character I want to talk about is Nancy, because I believe she has this the second worse. But it has been a minute since I’ve seen the movie, so I might be incorrect. I could not tell you jack about Nancy’s hobby’s or interests, we don’t see much around her room to my memory. though she does have a personality, when it comes to being determined (which you could say about all the girls) and also smart. I don’t have much to say about this one, as thier isn’t anything I can pick apart, she’s just what you’d expect a final girl to be. (This part is prone to being edited)

Next I’d like to talk about Kirsty, my favorite final girl as of writing. She’s like a more badass version of Nancy. (Which is funny, because they even look similar!) now Kirsty is probably the most determined and almost hard headed? She’s fierce in a way and she won’t give up. Again, I can’t name a hobby, not from the first two movies, but theirs more there then the previous two. We can see she’s curious when she opened the lament that Frank was so panicked about. We also know she has a close relationship with her father, though she isn’t dependent on him. She’s also shown to be smart and or quick witted when she makes the deal with the Cenobites in the first movies from a small detail Frank mentioned, and when she realized Elliot was Pinhead in the second movie, and provided the photo to them to get away, as well as when she put on Julia’s skin to trick the Doctor, as well as a few other details. (some of these could also fit under observant, eg noticing that Elliot is Pinhead) Kirsty is also shown to be caring, when she makes sure Tiffany wouldn’t die in the labyrinth.

I probably don’t have a lot to say about Stretch, since I was only paying half attention to tcm 2, though I really do want to note that we get to know her right off the bat, she likes music, since why work in a radio shack if you hate music? And she’s polite but still holds her ground, like when she was urging for the two boys in the beginning to hang up in the nicest way possible. She’s also shown to be driven and not one to easily give up, as well as someone who wants to help. She didn’t have to go to Lefty to give him evidence and get word about the case out, but she did so because she wanted to help, and I could say something about how she spoke when she told Chop Top to fuck off, and read the situation well enough to process he could be a danger, and decided to go along with what he was saying, till he really had to leave (and till Bubba absolutely wrecked his plate-) also, Stretch is, dare I say, freaky? (She was not looking at Bubba’s chainsaw)

I love all these final girls non the less, I just think it’s interesting how some of them are lacking in personality, yet the movies are still amazing. I’ll also take any opportunity to analyze some of my favorite girls. I hope this was mentally stimulated and educational in some way, thank you for reading.❤️

[blushweddinggowns]

Ever since Steve had gotten that new job at Family Video, he was gone, a lot. Too often for Eddie’s liking, even if it was just a part time job. And when he was off, it was a fucking battle to get him all to himself. 

The kids were always after him, and then there was Nancy, and now freaking Robin, who seemed to be beating them all out nine times out of ten. And he couldn’t really do anything about it. Because Steve followed all the rules. He called every two hours, always came home when he said he would, and spent every night in their bed. Eddie always knew where he was, what his plans were for the day. And the girl made him so happy. 

Eddie had half-expected that same nice feeling he had when he saw Steve and Nancy together, happy just to see Steve happy. But with Robin, it was different. In all honesty, he was jealous. But it was a very confusing jealousy. He knew that Steve didn’t love her like he did him, he wasn’t that insecure. The girl was a fucking lesbian for god’s sake. He heard the words come straight from her own mouth.

She had been so shy when she told them, near hiding behind Steve while Nancy and Eddie sat on the couch. Shy and scared, like they would ever be capable of rejecting her over something so small. God, Eddie was easy, because that whole thing had melted his heart. No wonder her sad face always worked on Steve, the girl was naturally adorable. 

Which just made the fact that he didn’t like her worse. It wasn’t her fault, he knew that on some level. But as sick as it was, he didn’t really like anyone being close to where he was in Steve’s life. And she was starting to skirt uncomfortably close to the line. 

Because Steve loved Robin. Really loved her. Like knew everything about her loved her. Eddie knew that he loved everyone in their family, but this was different. Even Nancy, who Steve would do literally anything for, wasn’t in the same league. Because something about those two just clicked, bizarrely fast. Like finishing each other’s sentences fast. Like telling each other every traumatic childhood experience they ever had in the span of a month fast. 

And he kind of fucking hated it. Nancy had boundaries, lines that Steve or anyone weren’t allowed to cross. But Robin didn’t. At least not for Steve. No, he could be just as weird with her as he could be with Eddie. Whiny, possessive, touchy, she didn’t care. If anything she just gave it back full force. And for so long Eddie had been the only one who could fully deal with how intense Steve was. And he liked it that way.

And the worst part was how much Eddie actually liked her. Or he would have if he didn’t feel like he was in competition with her for Steve’s spare time. He hadn’t known at the time just how literal she was with the little I won’t let him die, comment. But she had stayed true to her word. And was also one of the only other people in their group that was reasonably freaked out by all his crazy shit. And in Eddie’s eyes, cowardice wasn’t a bad trait if it meant keeping the people he loved alive. 

But despite how much he trusted her, despite how happy she made Steve, Eddie sincerely, wanted her to fuck off. Just a little bit. Not that he let it show to either of them. 

Did that make him a horrible person? Yes. Was that anything new? No.

But at least he wasn’t alone. Nancy was annoyed too, but to a more reasonable extent. In a way, she had been just as spoiled with Steve’s time as he had been. There were common days that Eddie was busy with things that Steve wasn’t involved in, and she used to have first pick when it came to when they hung out. But now she had to work around his new work schedule and his new best friend schedule, all while her boyfriend was hundreds of miles away. 

It was an annoyance they kept between themselves. But it was nice to have someone to be shitty with, just one more thing he loved about Nancy. 

They were whispering about it as their table, eyes stuck on Robin and Steve laughing across the room. They were at the bowling alley, sitting around with drinks after a frankly embarrassing loss to the wonder duo. They were crowded around a claw machine, Robin cheering Steve on as he tried to go for the impossible elephant in the back. Robin had already won Steve a stuffed narwhal, so according to him that meant he was obligated to return the favor. Despite the fact that he had already lost four times. 

“They’re adorable and I hate it,” Nancy sighed as she gnawed on her straw, “The worst part is how great she is. Did you know I tried to invite Steve to the movies last weekend? Well guess who picked up the phone?”

“Robin?”

“Robin,” Nancy said, “And I actually ended up inviting her to the movies. And had fun.”

“Traitor,” Eddie huffed half-heartedly, feet kicked up on the table, “But I know what you mean. I can’t even hate her. Did you know she speaks four languages? How is that fair?”

Nancy shrugged, “It isn’t. But neither is life I guess.”

She was right about that. But he just wanted her to back off a little. But without hurting her feelings, or pissing Steve off. There was only one answer he could think of, “Makes me want to find her a girlfriend or something. Just somewhere to redirect her time. Maybe I can put out some feelers.”

Nancy raised a brow at him, “A girlfriend? In this town? Good luck.”

“Why not?” Eddie asked, “I got lucky. You got lucky. Why can’t she?”

Nancy rolled her eyes, “Oh yeah, I’m so lucky that my boyfriend moved across the country.”

“Y’know what I mean,” Eddie said, eyes already scanning the room. It really would be the perfect solution wouldn’t it? The only problem was that he didn’t really know what gay girls were supposed to look like. But he did know that Robin drooled like an idiot for anyone who even slightly resembles a young Barbara Eden. That couldn’t be too hard to replicate, right? 

He kept looking around, eyes stopping when on a particular petite blonde. Oh, she was definitely Robin’s type. 

“Hey look at her,” Eddie said quietly, jutting his chin forward in the blonde’s direction, “She’d be perfect.”

It helped that she seemed to keep glancing Robin’s way, barely paying attention to what her friends were saying. She kept smiling to herself, coincidently synched with every dramatic cheer Robin gave Steve. That seemed as good a sign as any.

Eddie was more than happy to play the part of her unknown wingman, especially if it meant having Steve to himself again. 

But Nancy didn’t seem very impressed. She raised a brow at him, “You have no idea who that is, do you?”

But Eddie was already on his feet, shrugging when Nancy tried to stop him, “Feelers!”

He made his way over, a plan forming in his head. It’s not like he was going to tell anyone she was gay, that was far from his place. But maybe he could gauge any interest, or at least her personal level of strangeness. Because they couldn’t just be gay. They had to be a little weird if it was ever going to work. He just needed to see if he could find someone who had the vibe. And a good starter test for that was to see if she closed down on Eddie “The Freak” Munson straight away.  

She startled a little when he waltzed right up to her, but she didn’t turn and run, which was sadly something. He stuck his hand out with a smile, “Hey there. I’m Eddie.”

He half expected her to laugh at him, or at least ask who the hell he thought he was. But she didn’t do either. Instead she smiled back, reaching out to shake his hand, “Chrissy.”

From the newest chapter of this fic!

[captain-peanut110]

Percy Jackson and the Olympians episodes one and two, immediate impressions

Written by someone who absolutely lived those books as a kid and is no less obsessed with them as a grown up.

I will try to avoid spoilers for anything that comes later in the book or in later books in case people who have only watched the show will be reading this, but there might still be unintentional spoilers and there definitely will be spoilers for how the event of the first two episodes went down in the book.

I have been waiting since before the old movies came out, suffered the disappointment of their existence, was part of the collective agreement Lightning Thief had no sequel and am finally ready to see them try again.

I have just finished re-reading the first series and am nearing the end of House of Hades, so all the book stuff is fresh in my mind.

(I also bough the first five and all five Trials of Apollo for only £12 yesterday 🎊🎊🎊 now my tiny London apartment is flooded with books I already have no space for 🤣🤣🤣 so worth it though.)

Episode 1

- seems lovely so far;

- Percy is perfectly himself and the acting is damn decent;

- Little Percy is very cute, but also sort of spooky, make me think of the ocean, no matter what, there is always something eerie about it;

- Nancy is as awful, as she has to be and it is a nice thought that Percy understands she bullies him because of her own issues, yet also acknowledges it is still not okay;

- Brunner is perfect, they nailed his feel and presence 10/10. Why is his horse part not white though? Come on, it doesn’t have to match his skin tone and would have looked super cool, setting him apart from other centaurs like it does in the books;

- The kindly one (what they call Furies in the book) is well done and properly terrifying;

- Sally Jackson is the star, seriously, she is everything;

- Smelly Gabe is authentic enough to smell him trough the screen;

- Super funny that his reward for letting them take the car in the show is a sandwich he never ends up getting at all. At least in the books he got his dips

- BUT!!!!! Wtf with Gabe saying please? And them watching the game together? Why is he suddenly not that terrible??? How could they have decided to give redeeming qualities to this guy??? He is like the definition of awful and there really was no need to make him better in any way.

Initially I did not particularly notice this, because he was disgusting in my eye, yet upon watching for the second time, I replied he repeatedly said please and his conversation with Sally seemed suddenly more like banter than the awful way he treated her in the books. This gives their marriage something to it and makes it feel like there might have been a reason why they got married other than Sally wanting to protect Percy though Gabe's smell. And that is just wrong. Gabe was absolutely the king of awful in the books and he should have stayed that way.

I felt like I had to go back to add this point, because I missed it in my initial watching when I was writing this immediate reaction.

It can be argued that even the worst abusers are not horrible 24/7 and are ofter nice to the people around them from time to time, which makes it even more confusing and hard to leave them. But this does not really fit to the situation here, Gabe had zero redeeming qualities in the book and I can't see why there would be a need to give him any in the show;

- Sally being firmly on Percy’s side is pure gold and absolute parenting goals;

- Blue candy !!!!

- D’Angelo sandwiches though??? Hmmm…

- “Who is Yantsy?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Gabe is so dumb, i love it;

- Hades is not satan, they finally got that right! At least I think that’s supposed to be Hades;

- Can’t stress enough how awesome it is that Percy is not an orphan in the books. His relationship with Sally is everything. It is also a whole lot less lazy than just having an orphaned protagonist and also a lot more relatable for the readers;

- I love the scene where Percy is confused and scared, trying to get her to stop, but Sally keeps talking, as if she knows if she does not say it out loud, she will never be able to;

- Sally: “He was a god.” Percy: “You fell in love with Jesus?” 🤣🤣🤣

- Grover is so funny though, I can’t even;

- The Minotaur cgi looks decent;

- And he is wearing underpants!!!

- Bye-bye Gabe’s car;

- Grover is supposed to be unconscious!!! That’s a major point of his later self-torments, the fact that he got knocked out and Percy had to carry him all the way.

I cannot see why he needed to be present for this scene. He doesn’t do much of anything other than having Sully make him swear to protect Percy, although I am not certain what that was emphasised for?

- Sally is badass! Hell yeah for mothers doing mad stuff to protect their babies, super on point and as someone who does have a baby, super realistic;

- Noooo!!! Sally!!! Proper heartbreaking;

- He did not have the sword yet! Or Grover there! And he fought the Minotaur anyways!!!

It was supposed to be the first sing of his endless courage bordering on idiocy and a serious lack in the self preservation department when it comes to people he loves being in danger.

Which ultimately is a super important point in the story. I feel they missed an opportunity to show just how many fucks are absolutely not given when Percy sees somebody dear to him threatened;

- He does still kill him with the horn, not the sword, so I guess I can forgive the sword being there for a brief second. Although it would certainly add more meaning if it wasn’t;

- Show us how he carried Grower to Camp after killing the Minotaur!!! Percy did it all on his own, no help whatsoever! That’s part of what made other campers so interested in him!

- Annabeth!!! My best girl!!!

Episode 2

- Percy’s eyes are so book accurate, a proper proper sea green, I am happy happy happy;

- And Walker is such a perfect fit for the role, it really feels like he is Percy. I can forgive them for not having someone else, who had dark hair, his casting in on par.

Also I feel like nailing his eyes is more important than hair. They are an important part of the character, a reflection of his connection to the ocean.

I can also completely get behind not immediately wanting to dye a child’s hair, so it’s not that important.

I am personally of the opinion, that unless a character’s appearance is a point in the plot, such as relation to a certain someone hinted at trough similarity in looks/belonging to a certain group/coming from a certain place/being singled out positively or negatively because of certain features/etc, changing it doesn’t matter;

A good example is the colour of Percy’s eyes. It needs to be maintained, as they are a reference to his father being Poseidon and him being a child of the sea;

- The same goes for Leah, she has absolute Annabeth energy and is just perfect every step of the way, so the fact that she ain’t blonde doesn’t really matter. It was not a particular plot point in the books and the change will not affect her character in any way;

(If Elle Woods suddenly wasn’t blonde anymore, that would be insane, in Annabeth’s case, it is not that important.)

- Aww, Percy thinks Poseidon is going to be there at camp, that’s heartbreaking :((

- Peter Johnson !!!

- ‘He’s starting with me!’

- For a moment I thought he was gonna say ‘the wine dude Dionysus’ 🤣 that would hardy have ended well;

- ‘Your Highness’ 🤣🤣🤣 Percy is adorable;

- Mister D pretending to be Percy’s dad and trying to get him to fetch a bottle of wine is sooooo funny, I died. Chiron’s face though… 🤣🤣🤣 ‘I could be!’ ‘But are you?!’

And this:

- ‘Son.’

- ‘Dad?’

- ‘Yes Peter!’

- ‘Percy!’

- ‘Exactly’

- And Percy looking at Mr D and thinking: ‘Mom fell in love with and spoke so highly of this guy? He is basically Divine Gabe.’

I will be anything upon first meeting him in the show and hearing the ‘i am your dad’ thing, that is exactly what Percy is thinking. ‘Oh no, my dad is the Less Smelly Gabe?‘

- The Hermes cabin is looking good, the chaos seems very authentic;

- As someone who had been bullied at school for different from other kids, it is a very touching moment, when Percy is sure the Hermes kids are about to start some trouble, but Luke is just so lovely to him instead.

It is honestly every weird kid’s dream to have someone approach them with something kind to say.

And when he says: ‘you are just like everyone else here’, it must have felt so nice for Percy to finally hear something like that, like there is somewhere he can belong as himself;

- Luke, my sweet tragic baby ❤️ i cannot help loving him so damn much;

His underlying wistfulness and hidden pain from not feeling loved by his dad break my heart into a million pieces. And the way he just older-brothers Percy from the beginning is everything ❤️

- But does this show hate blonde people?

Cause Luke isn’t blonde either. 🤣

Once again, great acting, charisma and that feel of Luke’s powerful awesomeness tinted with desolate melancholy was captured brilliantly.

Charles does have that vibe and is great in the role. But I just had to note the ‘nobody is blonde’ thing cause it’s funny;

- More importantly though, WHERE IS LUKE’S SCAR??? That little scrape he’s got on his face is way too small and insignificant to be the unfortunate trophy from a dragon fight.

It looks nowhere near ghastly enough!

The whole point was that Luke was super handsome, but his scar was there like a tear in a beautiful portrait.

Charles is a good looking fella, he could have easily pulled off having a huge scar running across half of his face and still be a ladies’ dream;

- The Dryad with Grover has such sweet motherly vibes;

- Is it me or do Grover’s goat legs appear somewhat skinny?

- ‘Like an old banana’ Damn, Grover. I feel like this nicely reminds everyone Grover is not the human child he appears as;

- I feel like it is more realistic that Percy comes to believe his mother can be saved from the underworld by himself, since it is pretty logical, if the underworld is a place you can go to, you could theoretically bring someone back.

There didn’t really need to be an ominous investigation conducted by Grover for Percy to come upon that idea;

- More creepy ass dreams;

- CLARISSE MUST BE BUFFER!!!

And here I somewhat don’t get it.

Cause Dior looks perfectly buff enough for the part in pictures online, but it almost feels like they made her look smaller on camera, instead of using filming techniques to make her look even bigger.

All I could think while watching those scenes was “Clarisse must be bigger!”. Why does she look so skinny in the show, when the actress has got proper muscles irl?

- Percy being terrible at everything he tries reminds me of Harry trying the wands out and making stuff blow up

- He set the Hephaestus kids’ stuff on fire 🤣🤣🤣 Leo should have been there 😉

- Is there a god of disappointment 🤣🤣🤣

- But you burn the stuff to send a message to the gods, not mortals or dead people. Burnt offerings are only messages to a god they are offered for.

Did Percy misunderstand this or did the makers of the show?

Cause there should be no way for Sally to have actually gotten that message;

- Burning candy and talking to mama hits right home though. Very painful, peak cinema, hurts a lot. Poor little Percy, he just needs a hug;

- Not from a gutter, Clarisse, what the actual?!?!

- Aaaand Supreme Lord of the Bathroom emerges!!!

I just love how good old Jonny outright refuses to harm Percy.

But does this mean Poseidon is the god of toilet water as well 🤣🤣🤣 what about everything that is flushed with it? Would he have power over that as well? Or only clean gutter water?

Also!!! Is Percy immune to ‘the Neptune’s kiss’?

(‘The Neptune’s kiss’ - is an unfortunate occurrence while going number two, when one of them lot falls down into the bowl with a blast and the water splashes back onto your unprotected buttcheeks.)

Cause that would be a seriously cool ability to have indeed;

- Annabeth!!! Always a win for Annabeth!!!

‘i can explain!’ ‘No you can’t!’

Absolutely chemistry

‘Are you stalking me, Annabeth?’ ‘Yes’

- Forbidden kids… hmm.. that’s an interesting way of putting it;

- Annabeth is Sherlock with better social skills? Hell yeah, Percy can be her sword-wielding Watson;

- Their armour looks so good! Like actually pleasant to look at, you can see effort and thought went into the costumes in the show.

Seeing them all dressed up reminds me of the longstanding tradition at Camp Halfblood of running outside wearing a breastplate and underpants when danger strikes in the middle of the night!

I really really hope they show that in this series;

- Percy should appreciate Annabeth standing there silently and waiting for him to get up, since any other classmate from his past would have made fun of his fall and certainly would not have waited for him to get up.

The way Annabeth reacted is decent between two warriors.

She did not mock his fall, waited for him to get up and made no unkind comments about it afterwards.

She did not help him get up, because he does not need assistance with such a minor trouble, which is something Percy will have to learn very soon.

As someone who has been bullied back at school, sometimes standing there silently is the nicest way someone you don’t know very well can react to you embarrassing yourself;

- I love how Annabeth doesn’t flaunt her being better at stuff in Percy’s face, he is the one who says that in a fit of self deprecation.

The writers could have easily had her say something like ‘of course i’m better’, as happens a lot in modern cinema, when characters boast about how awesome they are instead of showing it.

She respectfully listens to his ranting, then simply straightens out his breastplate, which is such an adorable moment between them my heart is going to shatter into a million pieces.

She then proceeds to tell him ‘you don’t even know how you fit into all this’ , basically saying ‘you don’t know how powerful you are’, but Annabeth is being wise.

She knows there is no point in telling Percy how awesome he could be. She believes in him and knows he needs discover his awesomeness on his own.

(I am currently re-reading The House of Hades, about half-ways trough.

Thus seeing cute Percy and Annabeth moments soothes by bleeding heart.

If you know you know, not gonna spoil an ancient book, ahahahha. )

- Yankees’ cap!!! (I know i am way too easily excited to see stuff from the book, but I was a Percy Jackson fan when the first movie came out and i still carry that damage, so cut me so slack)

- Game on! And she absolutely believes in him and never says anything demeaning, that is so awesome.

There is a trend in modern cinema to show characters’ badassness and awesomeness by having them be demeaning and rude to their companions.

This has been around for a while where the guy who was the best at everything was just allowed to be awful to everybody because of it.

Recent it has infected movies with female leads, as if the only way a woman can be portrayed as strong and capable is by being a bully to lesser men around her.

I love what they did with Annabeth here.

She is spectacular, she’s got a great plan, she knows it, she doesn’t have to repeat it.

But she does not need to be compared to Percy to be amazing, she simply is.

She also has faith in Percy and is supportive of him, without being patronising or feeling the need to over-explain.

She is confident he will know what to do when the time comes and believes honestly he will do well.

She does not tell him what to do because she is sure he will know when the time comes and that is a smart way to teach him a lesson about having faith in himself;

- Luke is so awesome, they nailed him! His faith in Annabeth and the way he says ‘Percy’s on it’ with no doubt whatsoever… i am loving it all;

- Percy is authentically adhd, this shit is so relatable 🤣

Petting that lizard is such a banger thing to do, i mean…

- It did not happen in the books like this, but these are such Percy moments, i cannot even 🤣 the main actor was a top choice;

- Closing your eyes and touching leafs or rocks is something I also absolutely love doing, Percy knows what’s on;

- Clarisse’s spear looks nifty as heck.

While I did complain that she needs to be bigger, Dior is perfect in this role. The casting generally is great so far.

She does portray the big bully energy really well;

- I have enjoyed the fight, although wasn’t Percy only supposed to get his power up after he touched the water? (I most honestly don’t remember)

Here it seems the presence of the river so close was enough and I must agree that it does look awesome when he suddenly begins fighting properly;

- And he falls into the water, heals up and is claimed by Poseidon. Precious!

- I am loving the Poseidon cabin vibes, it is just like the ocean. Beautiful and charming, but eerie and mysterious;

- I do not understand why they had to change it from Percy taking the quest immediately with the hidden idea of saving his mother, to his blatantly refusing the quest, only to have Grover tell him Sally can be saved to sway him to go anyways.

I think this was somewhat of a weird choice, but maybe it will matter later on, who knows.

It does fix up the rift between Grover and Percy with the whole Grover lying and getting him expelled situation, but that wasn’t really in the book at all, so…

I guess they wanted to try and not copy the book word for word, but Percy refusing the quest so harshly out of self preservation we have already established he doesn’t have much of seems a little out of character.

Maybe they are trying to emphasise that he would do anything to save his mom, but even without that, Percy would still have agreed to save the world and all, that’s his whole point.

And he did go with the idea of saving his mother in the book, he just didn't Grover to tell him it was possible, he simply refused to accept his mother was dead and was set on getting her back.

He is not a reluctant hero, he marches head first into danger, risks his life to save the world all the time and eats reality shattering prophecies for breakfast. (If you know you know ;)) )

I guess it doesn’t matter all that much.

In the book and the show he agreed to go on a quest in great part because he thought he could to save his mother, it was just presented differently. But I do feel once again they are diminishing Percy’s badassery.

This sweet and wonderful child doesn't need anybody's permission or reassurance, he simply though: 'Wow, there is my opportunity to go to the underworld, my mother must be there, to hell with Hades, I will make him give her back!"

He basically thought she was dead and still planned on getting her back anyways!!!

As we have seem during the duel with the Minotaur, when given proper motivation (or simply when pissed off and/or desperate enough) Percy is absolutely unhinged.

He takes no shits from anyone, god, monster, or whatever else.

It just feels a bit weird to see Percy Jackson yelling ‘no’ to a quest.

And feels like Percy's determination and intelligence are diminished because he did not come upon the idea of saving Sally on his own.

- Also, since when does Percy have a sense of self-preservation, aahahaha he could have really used a bit more of that in the books

Overall 7/10 so far

One point off for the removal of Percy's grand refusal to accept death and his brilliant sneaky plan to attempt bringing his mother back from the underworld while the quest for the Masterbolt provides a valid reason to go there. Seriously, this was perfectly devious in the books. He kept the idea to himself and simply nursed a plan to basically bring his mother back from the dead all on his own.

One point off for Luke’s scar being tiny. Everything else appearance wise is not important cause the actors are great. But not giving Luke the proper huge scar is a cosmetic decision that I do not condone

And one extra point off for Gabe saying please and having redeeming human features, as well as Sally actually wanting to watch the game with him, I could not imagine she would have ever wanted to do anything with Smelly Gabe, no no no no no

All in all, this is great so far, I need more with urgency.

Thank you for reading this much 💚

[highfiveheroes]

4 and 20 (haha nice) for the rat grinders!

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter? (rat grinders for both)

OOOH an excellent set of questions.

kipperlilly i’d throw into some kind of nancy drew-esque mystery video game on desktop, but it’d definitely take like a slenderman/amanda the adventurer twist where as the game progressed if you weren’t solving it fast enough she’d try to come out of the game and murder you in the woods. as far as friends, i do feel like she and oisin have a kind of camaraderie, but i LOVE the idea of her and ivy being on good terms and bitching about everyone all the time.

ruben belongs in one of those visual novel apps like episode where fantastical things happen and, as the love interest, he’s always right, always perfect, and never looked down on because he’s everyone’s favorite. i just think he’d thrive in an environment where it’s all love all the time and consequences aren’t real. i think he’d be a horrible influence on buddy but once buddy removes said stick from his ass i like to think they’d make each other worst (in the best way possible) but also ruben and fig as musical bffs who write songs together and have twitter beef that nobody can tell is a joke would also be fucking incredible.

oisin i think would be great in something like psych as the straight character, giving like carlton lassiter vibes. surrounded by chaos and always getting shown up, but he is genuinely good at his job when he lets them be. controversial opinion i think he’s only really good at being friends with ivy, i have a hard time seeing him bond with anyone else except maybe ? mary ann, and even then

speaking of mary ann. i would love to see her in the same episode stories as ruben as his voice of reason that gets ignored all the fucking time and she doesn’t give a shit so she gives up. for some reason i think she and buddy would also get along really well, mostly because she doesn’t care enough to tell him to shut up and he doesn’t care enough to ask her about herself. if not him then ivy as well, for similar reasons, except sometimes mary ann makes one bitchy comment after hours of ivy ranting and it’s so hysterical and well placed that ivy just loses it

ivy!!! put her as a judge on like project runway or master chef so she can be critical as hell and get very little slack for it because she’s just nice enough that everything is "constructive" criticism. she and oisin are made to be best friends of course but she could realistically slot in with anyone (the nature of being fake as fuck <3) so default to oisin, but if she’s having lunch with anyone else, it’s allowed

and buddy!!! buddy would ABSOLUTELY be cast on the fucking wiggles or something. or live action veggie tales. i think he’s really good with kids probably, nature of being family with the head of the church and needing to step up sometimes, so if he can spread the good word and teach the kids how to be polite and proper (and nonfunctional shh) he’d thrive. and as before, having him hang out with mary ann (out of pity on his part, nonchalance on hers) is a great combo but also he and ruben could make each other so much worse. if anyone sees ruben release a screamo hymnal, blame buddy

[findafight]

i really agree w your opinions on stancy's (and jancy's) issues never being satisfyingly dealt w and it's a huge roadblock for me w anything set in the canon universe - esp w stoncy tbh bc then steve and jonathan's potential issues get added to the mix. recently a fic i really liked actually had stancy (tho jonathan was also present) talk and nancy apologize but for some reason during their talk the cheating is never addressed (which is esp egregious in this fic imo bc steve knows but it was jonathan who told him at an earlier point - like even if steve wasn't pissed about the cheating [he should be but the author doesn't let him be] at least let him be pissed nancy didn’t tell him herself) and the writer keeps having steve just,,, not react to the cheating. like he just swallows down whatever he felt when jonathan told him then never brings it up? and it's so confusing bc the cheating is flat out called cheating. i probably should have expected something like this from this author bc they have mentioned this supposed loophole of steve apparently blanketly forgiving nancy during their break up scene which is just not what happened (esp considering steve didn't know she cheated); all he did was apologize, break up w her officially, and say it was okay for her to date jonathan. there is no blanket form of forgiveness and there is no way for steve to magically know jancy fucked, esp when he might be v reluctant to assume that considering his spiral in s1.

The cheating (both physical and lbr emotional before then) is what Nancy should be apologizing for MOST! And then not telling him right away and letting him take all the blame for the relationship falling apart, and then all the other stuff. Absolutely agree that Steve should be pissed/hurt that he wasn't told right away, and that Nancy wasn't the one to tell him. (also i think that's the only way he'd find out)Just. That, to me, shows she doesn't consider what she did was wrong, or doesn't respect Steve/his friendship enough to tell him herself. Which is a major issue if she actually wants to make things right with him! How does she apologize for how things ended and her part in it without mentioning cheating on him!! Let steve be angry!

Steve, in the scene where he tells Nancy to go with the Byers to Hopper's cabin, is only telling her that it's okay for her to go. He's letting her go (love something set it free style). He isn't giving blanket forgiveness?? He might have picked up vibes from jancy and realize that Nancy will probably not be open to working things out, but not that they slept together? Yeah post s1 Steve would try hard to get a handle on his extreme reactions to perceived infidelity, but also. He'd been dating Nancy for nearly a year. Maybe she couldn't say she loved him when put on the spot, and she was definitely drifting towards Jon, but I'd say he still expected her to respect him enough to do the bare bones minimum of not cheating on him. Why would he think she would? Why would he think badly of the girl he loved? why would he assume she had such little regard for his feelings to betray him in such a way? After dating for a year Steve wouldn't think the worst of Nancy, and would likely assume she also wouldn't do something like that to him.

The thing is I want Steve and Jonathan to be friends, I think their dynamic could be fun! but as it stands now in canon...nah man they don't like each other. Jon thinks Steve is a reckless idiot, and Steve sees Jonathan as Will's big brother who took creepy pictures of him and his friends and that his gf left him for. Jon and Nancy cheating on Steve complicates things further, and to think Steve would push that down is not it. Let him be angry! Let him be hurt! Let him rage! Nancy Cheated and didn't have the decency to tell him or to break up with him, or to prevent him taking all the blame in their relationship.

It's frustrating because I want to see them work it out. Work through it, or at the very least talk about it. I can't satisfyingly do it because I don't care about the ship enough to do it justice, but it's the kind of fic I'd like to see. I'd love to read a stancy shipper's take on how they move forward through that hurt and heartbreak and messiness. I think it'd be so interesting. But. it seems like folks just aren't writing those kinds of fics or acknowledging the infidelity at all or, as you said, brushing it all aside, when it's a a part of Steve's characterization that he wouldn't be able to just move past it due to his home life. which is boring. And it's more interesting to address those problems! It's messy and hurtful and interesting!! (I've looked on ao3 for stancy fics like this that actually acknowledge the cheating and have found ONE written immediately post s2 by someone I think is a stancy shipper [or at least used to be] and bitter about it. Most other fics within the search parameters have STEVE the one cheating [I've complained about it before but seriously wtf])

I know in RaSEPSM I sorta...softballed the cheating a little by saying the end of the relationship was unclear, but tbh that's sort of stobin trying to defend and rationalize people they thought were their friends to themselves? because no one wants to believe their friends would do something like that, let alone to another friend, so sort of... saying that there was a nebulous period between Halloween and when Steve told Nancy to go with the Byers where Steve thought they were still dating but on the rocks but where maybe Nancy thought they were over allows them to be hurt but also not fully blame their friends, if that makes sense.

[jjwantsme]

Dear Billy,

s.h

Pairing: steve harrington x mayfield!exgirlfriend!reader

Summary: y/n never had an easy life- and vecna certainly has no intention to make it any easier.

Warning: basically the reader goes through everything in ep4 instead of max, i changed a few details, max doesnt exist in this!!, wayyyy too long, not proof read, cussing, mentions of death, mentions of trauma, mentions of suicidal thoughts, angsty angst angst!!!,sad steeb, depressed reader, lmk if im missing anything!!!

authors note: i rlly love this :,) lmk if ud like a part 2. I was rewatching season4 and this idea hit me like a fucking truck. Also sorry if this is ass😭

masterlist

Nancy and Robin ran into the closed high school, quickly making their way to the counselor office steve mentioned.

They didn’t know exactly what was going on, or how to fix it, but they knew y/n was in trouble; and that was enough to make them worry.

Y/n had been Robin’s best friend for years now, she was the first person to know her sexuality and the first person to validate her identity as whole. Knowing she could be in danger made Robin’s hands shake, and it wasn’t a feeling she could get used to.

“It was here. Right here!” Y/n testified to the friend group as they stared at a brick wall, trying to imagine what she might have seen. “A grandfather clock?” Nancy raised her eyebrows at the girl, her tone indicating that she was having some trouble believing the story.

Y/n and nancy had a…complicated friendship- if you could even call it that. Both of them being ex-lovers of steve definitely rose tension between them, unspoken tension, which happened to be the worst possible kind. Y/n hoped that maybe things would change after she left steve, maybe nancy would stop side-eyeing her in class and purposely ignoring her when the group met up. But, same as always, there was no truce. What more could she possibly want?

“it was so real,” y/n’s voice shook, “and then when i got closer, suddenly it just-…i woke up.”

“It was like she was in a…trance, or something.” Dustin cut in, “Exactly what Eddie said happened to Chrissy.”

Steve stayed quiet, just looking at the back of y/n’s head. He met her in the fall of ‘84, much to dustin’s assistance. He introduced the two of them when they needed her help creatinf a trap, and he swears he could immediately see the hearts in ole’ steve’s eyes.

Y/n, on the other hand, didn’t give in as quickly. She came from a broken home, didn’t trust people as easily. It wasn’t until Christmas that she let him have her number. And it wasn’t until all the way in spring of ‘85 when she finally let the poor boy be her boyfriend.

Even when they broke up, steve still cared way too much for her- and he would do anything to prove it…even if it meant having to kick vecna’s ass.

“Okay, be honest, uh,” Steve sighed, “do you guys understand any of this?”

Him, Dustin, and Lucas had been studying old articles for hours now, desperately trying to find clues on how to avoid y/n becoming the next victim.

Steve would be lying if he said this was his ideal morning routine, but, it was worth it to save his girl.

“No.” Lucas exasperated, obviously exhausted.

“Pretty straightforward.” Dustin shrugged.

Steve scoffed, “Oh, straightforward? Really?”

“Well, what’s confusing to you?” The younger boy sat up, “So far, everyone vecna has cursed has died- except for this old Victor Creel dude that Nancy found. He’s the only known survivor! If anyone knows how to beat this curse, it’s him!”

“Okay, yeah well that’s assuming he was cursed, Henderson, which we don’t even know. How can vecna have existed in the ‘50s? It doesn’t make sense.” Steve rubbed forehead in distress.

Dustin looked at him like he was an idiot, which wasn’t too far from the truth, “Far as we know, Eleven didn’t create the upside down- she opened a gate to it.”

Steve looked at him now, starting to piece the puzzle together.

“The upside down has probably been around for thousands of years!”

Steve just shook his head, sitting in a chair as he was too emotionally and psychically exhausted to have a scientific debate with Dustin Henderson.

Dustin leaned over a little to get a better look at y/n, before looking over at the other two boys, “any idea what she’s writing?”

Steve turned around to get a better look at her.

“Did she sleep?”

“I mean…would you?”

Steve looked down before turning back around, looking down at the newspaper and pretending to flip through the pages just to distract himself.

He felt useless. His angel was going to die. His angel would be taking her last breaths, and he had absolutely no idea how to stop it. Hell, he didn’t even know if it was possible to stop it!

He promised her he’d her safe when they were dating, and he swore to keep that promise even after they broke up. But now that promise was slowly being broken into pieces, and no matter what steve did, he couldn’t put them back together.

Y/n quickly finished the sentence she was writing, before pausing her movements as she felt glares on her. “I know you guys are staring at me.”

“What, sorry?”

“You said you needed something?”

“Just hanging out.” Steve fiddled with a tennis ball in his hands

Y/n sighed, collecting all of her letters, “How you think your eyes boring into the back of my head is protecting me from vecna? I don’t know.”

Y/n stood up and walked towards them as she shuffled the envelopes, her eyes shifting towards them when she noticed they were still dilly-dallying. “You can look at me now.”

“Thank you, sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“For you,” she handed an envelope to dustin.

“For you,” she handed another to lucas.

“And, um…you.” She handed one more to steve, trying her best not to meet his eyes., “Oh, and uhm, gives these to mike, el, and will- if you can ever get ahold of them again.”

Her eyes went wide as she watched dustin begin to open his, “hey, no, what are you doing?! No, don’t- that’s not for now, don’t open it now!”

Dustin slowly nodded, “Okay…i’m sorry, what is this?”

“It’s um…it’s a fail safe. Y’know, for after…if things don’t work out.” Y/n sniffled as she explained.

Steve immediately shook his head, placing his gifted envelope on the coffee table, “wait, woah. Y/n…things are gonna work out,”

“No.” She cut him off, “No, okay, i don’t need you to reassure me right now and tell me that it’s all gonna work out, because people have been telling me that my entire life and it’s almost never true. It’s never true!

Steve deflated into his seat, feeling like another part of the promise had just been broken off in front of him.

“I mean, of course this asshole curses me.” She looked at steve then back at the floor, “I should’ve seen that one coming.”

Steve couldn’t help but feel like her little rant was directed more towards him than anyone else. He was the one who told her that everything would be okay, that billy would be saved and their family would stay secure. He didn’t even know it, but he had lied to her.

It wasn’t too long after that when she broke up with him. It was too much- the grief, the depression, watching her step-dad leave them with nothing. Her life was falling apart, and even steve couldn’t fix that.

Steve was never cold to her, even after everything was said and done. He still tried to say hey to her when he they ran in to each other on the street, invite her to basketball games when he knew robin would be there. She turned him down though. Every single time. But he didn’t really care.

He couldn’t give up on her. He just couldn’t.

Y/n looked at the walkie-talkie and picked it up, “hey, if we go to East Hawkins will this still pick up Pennhurst?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Steve shook his head, “wait, why are we talking about East Hawkins?”

Y/n moved her eyes to him.

“No.”

She ignored his decline and started trotting up the stairs. Steve groaned and followed after her, the boys not far behind him.

“Y/n! Y/n, seriously, i’m not joking, okay? I’m not driving you anywhere!”

She just huffed in reply, “Steve, if you think i’m going to spend what is likely the last day of my life in the armpit that is Nancy Wheeler’s basement, then you’re out of your mind.”

They followed y/n all the way outside and to steve’s car- and by this point it was evident that she won the argument.

She went to open the door but frowned when she discovered that it was locked shut. She turned to her ex-boyfriend, “Open the door.”

“Uh, no.”

“Please, steve.”

Steve looked at her for a second. Those eyes. Those goddamn doe eyes. Lord, he gives in every time.

He sighed and unlocked the car before getting in, “Henderson, that little super-walkie of yours, better reach Pennhurst.”

Steve stopped his car at the graveyard, as y/n requested, and she wasted no time getting out of the car.

“Y/n!” Steve got out to chase after her.

“Steve, please, just stay in the car!”

“Y/n, just wait,” he caught up to her, “just listen to me, just, please!”

Y/n stayed in her place and looked at him, indicating that he was allowed to speak.

“I…I know you’ve something happened back there with your mother…was it vecna?”

Y/n sighed and looked away. He was right. It was vecna. And it wasn’t a very pleasant visit, either.

“I told you, i’m fine. Okay? I mean, as fine as someone who’s hurtling towards a gruesome death can be.”

“Y/n…” he grabbed her hand, “you know you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, sure, i know that.”

“Okay, then why do you keep pushing me away? Y/n, I love you,”

Y/n shook her head, “Stop saying that.”

“I do, y/n, I do love you! I don’t need a letter- I don’t want a letter, just talk to me. To your friends. We’re right here…” he paused and sighed, intertwining their fingers, “I’m right here. Okay? I’m here.”

Y/n let a tear slide down her cheek and looked back into his eyes, “Just…wait in the car, this won’t be long.”

Steve felt another piece break as she let go of his hand and continued walking in the other direction, leaving him behind.

Y/n sat cross-legged in-front of her older brother’s grave, and opened his envelope as more chilling tears flowed down her cheeks.

“Dear billy,” she took a deep breath.

“I don’t know if you can even hear this. Two years ago i would’ve said ‘That’s ridiculous, impossible’- but that’s before I found out about alternate dimensions and monsters, so I’m just going to stop assuming that i know anything. So much has happened since you left. Your dad was a total mess. He and my mom started getting into fights…b-bad fights. I don’t think he could stand being here without you, so he left. And he didn’t leave mom much. She’s taken an extra job, and we moved to that lovely trailer off Kerley. I broke up with Steve, and started avoiding him like the plague. Basically, ever since you left, everything’s been a…total disaster. And the worst part is, I can’t tell anyone why you’re gone. I play the moment you died back in my head all the time, and sometimes I imagine myself running to you and pulling you away.” She took a breath to wipe away her tears with her sleeve.

“I imagine that if i had, you would still be here, and everything would be…” she let out a sob, “everything would be right again. We would’ve become friends- good friends, like a real brother and sister. I would still be with steve and y’all would become close, and you would be his best man at our wedding. And I know that’s stupid. You hated me, I hated you. But I thought that maybe…maybe we could try again. But that’s not what happened. I just stood there and I watched.”

She let out another sob, “For a while, i tried to be happy, normal. But I…I think that maybe a part of me died that day too- and i haven’t told anyone this, not even steve. I-I just can’t. But I had to tell you, before it’s too late. If you can even hear this. I really hope that you can. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Billy. Love, your annoying shitty little sister, Y/n.”

She began putting the envelope back, when suddenly she saw dark cloud crowd above her and a wicked chuckle, wind blowing through her hair.

“Y/n.”

Steve impatiently tapped his finger against his car door before checking his watch and getting up, “Alright, it’d been long enough,”

“Steve, just give her some time,”

“I have, alright, Sinclair?! I’m calling it, if she wants to yell at me, she can.”

Steve jogged towards where he saw her sitting, “Y/n! Time to giddy-up, yeah?”

His breath shook when he noticed how she didn’t move an inch, “Y/n…”

He felt tears in his eyes and shook her shoulder when he saw her eyes white-out, “Y/n, y/n!”

“I’ve been waiting to hear those words, y/n. Waiting so very long.”

Y/n gulped as she watched her deceased older brother walk towards her, “But it wasn’t the full truth, was it, y/n?”

He wiped a tear from her cheek, “Y’know, I think there’s a part of you, buried somewhere deep, that wanted me to die that day. You were maybe even relieved, happy.”

“B-Billy, no, that’s not true,”

“That’s why you stood there, isn’t it, y/n?” He tilted his head, “It’s okay, you can admit it now. No more lies. No more hiding.”

“Billy, that’s not true, I swear, I swear it’s not true,” She kept shaking her head.

“That is why you feel such guilt, why you hide from steve, from your friends, from the world- and why, late at night, you have sometimes wished to follow me. To follow me into death. That is why I am here, max. To end your suffering, once and for all.”

“No!” Y/n cried, breathing heavily as she ran the other way, as fast as she could.

She didn’t get very far, though, as she felt something wrap around her ankle and pull her towards an evil being, one that she assumed was vecna himself.

“Shit!”

It pulled her until cornering her onto a pillard, wrapping around her arms and legs until she couldn’t move.

Suddenly, she felt confusion as she heard her favorite song fill her ears.

She looked in the distsnce and saw the boys, yelling at her to come down.

“They can’t help you, y/n,” vecna’s deep voice startled her, “there’s a reason you hide from him, a reason you left him. You don’t belong with him. You belong here with me.”

“You’re not really here,” y/n struggled to rasp out, her throat closing due to the pressure around it.

“Oh, but I am, y/n. I am.” He rested her hand above her face.

She let out a cry as her life began flashing before her eyes.

Moving to Hawkins.

Meeting dustin and lucas at the skatepark.

Meeting steve.

Teaching eleven how to braid hair

Her first kiss with steve, in the front seat of his car.

Steve asking her out, sealing their relationship with a kiss.

Steve holding her while she cried, kissing her head.

Y/n processed it all as she noticed her left arm being freed, and she didn’t think twice before ripping out one of his tentacles, making him wince and let go of her.

She let out a breath and quickly got up to run, going as fast as she could as she tried her best to avoid obstacles as she headed towards the hole where she could see Steve and the boys.

She didn’t think she would make it.

But then, she was back, she opened her eyes and she was back in Steve’s arms.

“Y/n!”

“Y/n, oh my god!”

Steve wrapped his arms around her tightly as they both panted, “I thought we lost you, I thought I lost you.”

“I’m still here!” Y/n cried out in between breaths, grabbing one of his hands, “I’m still here.”