#and those that obviously had a tough time but still somehow made it through

[exsqueezememacaroni]

Mike [...] he is super attractive as a person to me

Not the original anon, but I wanted to sort of chime in on Mike's attractiveness: he's just perfect. That's it.

I mean, I listen to a lot of heavy metal, and 90% of the time it's a case of "I like the riffs but don't agree with the politics". That doesn't happen with Mike: he's not a creep, and he's not a fascist, and he's not stuck in his glory days. He's the perfect little mew mew.

I also like to look at videos and gifsets of Mike doing his thing in cute little outfits, but it's a bit like looking at cat videos, you know? He's so cute and silly, he's my spirit animal. Yes, he's handsome - that doesn't hurt. But I'm not like, writing a romance in my head, or anything.

Mostly, I'm glad he's out there doing music, because honestly in a couple of truly dark moments Mike's lyrics were the only thing that made me feel less alone, like I could be seen or understood. So yeah, Bungle and Tomahawk sort of saved my life back then, and you can't help being a little in love with the guy who saved your life, right? Or am I a total para social creep here? 😝

Honestly this is the most sane take I've seen on mr. patton 😎

I wonder if he would take offense at comparing his stage presence to watching cat videos, but on second thought, he'd probably laugh and run with it and wear a pair of cat ears to the next gig.

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Job Swap

“Oh it's beautiful!” exclaimed the customer waiting in line. I handed her a nicely decorated cake for her son's birthday.

“It's no big deal. Just doing my job.” I acted like it was no big deal, but really I was gladly accepting the praise!

“This is perfect though. Have you considered being an artist?” she replied with a slightly more serious look.

“Yes I have actually…but the job market is tough.”

“Aww you'll get there eventually! Don't give up! Well anyway, you made my day so for that, thank you!”

“You're welcome.” I was a bit sad though, because she was right; I SHOULD be an artist. I recently earned my bachelor's degree, but yet I was still stuck in this dumb hick town, working as a grocery store cake decorator. I may have been good at what I do but I wouldn't want to do it forever!

At least my co-workers are pretty decent, especially my fellow bakery buddies, Chase, Amber, and Domingo. Amber was cool and didn't take anyone’s shit, which is why I loved seeing her because I didn't have much confidence when dealing with unruly customers. Domingo was very sweet, and even though he didn't speak very good English, he's hella good at his job. And Chase, well…he's hot! His bleach blond hair somehow always caught the light at a perfect angle. I don't know how I even kept my focus when he's working next to me.

At the end of my shift, I clocked out, and decided to buy a couple groceries like I normally did. I scanned everything at the self-checkout, put the receipt into one of my bags, and started walking towards the exit. The store had 2 exits on either side of the front, but I only took one because the other had a certain asshole at it - Richard.

The greeter position was removed a long time ago, but they bring it back for employees that have been injured or are too old, so that they can keep their jobs. Now this old guy named Richard had surgery a long time ago and became the greeter while he recovered. But yet he never went back to his old position.

He always stays at one specific entrance, and the reason I hated him so much was because he's racist. Part of his job has him checking customers’ receipts to make sure they didn't steal anything, which seems pretty unnecessary when you have those anti-theft machines at the exit. But I've seen him. The only people he checks the receipts for are minorities. It's not a subtle thing either; he’s super friendly, greeting and saying goodbye to all the white people passing but when it comes to someone who's not, his demeanor suddenly changes. 

My luck must've run out today, because I found the sliding glass doors at my usual exit were broken and currently being fixed. The area was blocked off by a barricade, and I knew there was only one other way to leave. I headed over to the other exit, and there Richard was, waving goodbye to a white mother and her toddler. He was wearing his typical gray uniform shirt that was clearly too small, because you could see his gut and nipples trying to poke through. Gross.

I moved through the aisle, trying not to draw attention to myself, but it was all for nothing because right on cue, Richard walked up to me and gave a great big (and so obviously fake) smile.

“Hello sir, can I see your receipt please?”

“Richard, it's me, Marco. I work in the bakery. You've seen me a million times before.” His smile suddenly faded, and his eyes narrowed, as if every ounce of happiness in his body just vanished.

“That's no excuse. How do I know you aren't stealing?”

“Because I want to keep my job?”

“Don't backtalk to me. You seem awfully suspicious today.” He then reached for his walkie talkie and started to page a manager. I really was able to walk out with no repercussions because I truly didn't steal anything, but there's a chance he would page the Asset Protection lady, who was almost as awful.

“Hello? Is anyone there?” Nobody answered him. Thank god.

“Am I free to go now?” I said happily. The anger returned to his face.

“Just don't let me catch you stealing again. Or there'll be consequences!”

“Yeah…suuuure.” I walked out the door, into my car, and back home. I can't believe some people honestly. I was so sick of this town! I needed to move away real soon.

When I got home my dog, Kenny, was excited to greet me as usual so I let him outside to do his business while I got into my running clothes, prepping for a run. As I let Kenny back in, I went to check the mail and found a weird envelope in between the bills and spam. I opened it up and it was a letter addressed “to whom it may concern”. I threw it away without a second thought but Kenny suddenly ran up to the trash can, took it out, and placed it back in front of me.

“You really want me to read this, don't you boy?” I said cheerily as I patted him on the head.

“To whom it may concern,

Are you struggling with your current job? Unhappy with the life you have? Well I have just the cure for that! We are now selling happiness inducing coins for only $1 with free shipping! One flip of this coin will guarantee you will soon get a job you love! Get it fast before it all runs out! Just follow the link on the back of this letter if you are interested.” - VV

I wondered who or what VV was supposed to be, and $1 with free shipping sounds too good to be true, so this seemed like a scam. I also wasn't a superstitious person,  but for some reason my gut was telling me that this was a good idea. Kenny seemed to think so too as he was wagging his tail under the table and I read. I followed the link listed on the back of the page, typing in each random letter and number combination into my phone and ordered the lucky coin. I went to bed that night feeling a little more hopeful.

The next day at work was just like the previous day, only the door was fixed so I didn't have to walk out the exit Richard was standing at. We did make eye contact though, and he shot me a dirty look. I got home to find that the package had already arrived, which was awfully quick. I cut open the box and inside was a golden coin with a picture of a brain on it. The other side had a picture of a person with their arms spread wide. It was a really weird design. I read the instructions.

How to use:

Flip the coin

No matter what side it lands on, you'll be guaranteed happiness in your new job!

It sounded so lame, but I followed the instructions anyway. I flipped the coin the air, and slapped it on the back of my other hand. Tails. Nothing happened. I guess it was just $1 so it wasn't a huge waste of my time. It's pretty cool looking so maybe I could display it on my dresser or something.

I felt especially tired the rest of the night, but I was fine because I had a day off tomorrow. I was gonna go to the park with Kenny, as well as do a few errands. I was just glad I had time away from my job.

The next morning my alarm went off for some reason. I must've accidently set it by mistake. The weirder thing was Kenny wasn't there. Normally at the sound of my alarm, he comes running from wherever he was sleeping, and jumps on the bed to get me up. But there was nothing. When I started to truly wake up and become more alert, I realized that my alarm was set to the default or something. Instead of my usual calming piano, it was an annoying ringing. I opened my eyes to see what was happening. My vision was blurry, but I could tell I wasn't in my own room.

What happened? Did someone kidnap me? The alarm clock wasn't even on a phone, but rather it was an actual alarm clock. I had no idea what was going on, but I reached over to turn it off so I could think. I'm certain I must've been kidnapped somehow but why? And why would they set an alarm clock? I couldn't see but felt around the nightstand for a clue and found a pair of glasses. When I tried them on, just like that, my vision returned to normal. I had perfect vision before! Why did I suddenly need glasses? I reached up to scratch my head and found my hairline was incredibly receded. I was balding! I looked down with my now clear vision to find an even worse fact. I was chubby!

I sat up and stared at the foreign gut and two large man tits, as well as numerous graying chest hairs. I ran my hands through the hair, pinching them to make sure they were real. I pinched the tits as well, and felt sensations I've never felt before as they wobbled when I let go. I ran my hands through my face and felt a mustache and double chin, and began feeling nauseous at the thought of what I actually looked like. I didn't see a mirror in the room so I walked out the door trying to find a bathroom. The fat jiggled all around as I ran.

I got to the bathroom and nearly puked on the spot when I saw who I was. Richard. Oh god no. Of all people, I had to look like this racist bastard? I stared at myself and grazed my hands along my face. Suddenly I felt angry and started pinching it instead, as if I was doing the same thing to the real Richard, but denial didn't help; that was my face and it hurt. I touched his mustache and pinched it, as if it would come off. 

Just then I heard the doorbell ring. I didn't want to interact with anybody looking like this but until I figured out how to fix it, I knew I had to pretend to be Richard. I answered the door to find the mailman.

“Howdy Rich! Woah uh.” He stared at my chest. I forgot I was still shirtless. Having this much fat hanging from my body was almost like answering the door naked. “I see you've lost some weight!” he said, obviously lying.

“Oh uh, thanks.” I replied, trying to imitate Richard’s voice, which was pretty easy considering I've mocked him before.

“Well anyway, not much today; just a letter.” He handed me a letter with a purple stamp on it.

“Well uh see you tomorrow!” The mailman went on his way and I closed the door. I opened the letter and found a note similar to the lucky coin advertisement.

To whom it may concern,

Good morning! I trust that your lucky coin worked well? Welcome to your new life! As promised, you now have a job that you love. Unhappy with the results? Just flip the coin once again, and make sure it lands on what it landed on before! If not, however, your fate is sealed. Best Wishes! - VV, Venefica Viola

Shit. They're not lying though. Richard did love his job. And since I was in his body, I now had that job! But who is this Venefica Viola? It sounded like Latin somehow. I walked back to the bedroom to find Richard’s phone. Luckily he didn't have any lock screen pin so I could easily get in. I searched for a translator, dodging the random pop up ads that were everywhere on his phone and looked up Venefica Viola.

Violet Witch. So magic is involved somehow. I needed to get my coin back so I could undo this! It must still be at my own house. Shit! I just realized why the alarm clock went off. Richard worked today! He had perfect attendance and never uses his PTO, so not going in was gonna look suspicious. I glanced at the clock and realized I only had 20 minutes. 

Even though I'd love to see Richard be humiliated by going to work in his underwear, I decided that it wasn't worth attracting attention so I looked through his clothes to put on a work uniform. I found a pair of boxers and accidently flashed myself when I completely forgot I didn't have my own dick either. It was all wrinkly, but honestly a lot bigger than I thought. No. I was not about to get horny over Richard's dick! I found what he normally wore to work and put the rest on. I found tucking the shirt was more difficult than usual, as I had to pull it over my belly.

I guess I could make this work…for now. I hated to admit it, but Richard wasn't all that bad looking. It was his personality and habits that made him so repulsive, but now that I was in control of him, he didn't look all that bad. Maybe I could even turn things around for now and do something nice for the people I know he hates. I grabbed the car keys on the nearby table, and drove to work.

I walked in the store, put Richard's nametag on, and clocked in. I nearly started walking to the bakery area but stopped myself. I guess I'm really going to have to be a greeter for a day. This feels humiliating. I made my way to the front entrance and just stood there, waiting for customers to enter or exit.

Soon enough customers began arriving and I tried my best to act like Richard, though one customer asked if I was all right because I guess I overdid it. I didn't ask any customers to show their receipts though, because I might as well take advantage of being a greeter. I noticed Domingo at the checkout and when he bagged up his groceries, he approached me first instead of the door. He hastily grabbed his receipt and started showing it to me. I wasn't about to let this happen.

“No no it's ok. You don't have to show me the receipt anymore.”

“No?” He looked shocked.

“Checking receipts is stupid anyway. I don't need to do it anymore.”

“Really? I can go?”

“Yep! Have a good day.” It was unnerving seeing him so scared at the sight of me, but he smiled like normally did as he put the receipt back in the bag and walked out.

As I moved towards the break room to take my break, I noticed someone who looked awfully familiar walk through the door. It was…me! I mean Richard. It must've been; if I was in his body, he must've been in mine. It became more obvious by the way he was walking, taking big steps as if he was used to having his gut swinging around…like mine was now. God I hated this. I had to talk to him to sort things out. He smirked as I approached.

“Hey!”

“Oh it's you. I mean me. I mean,” he paused for a second and rounded his mouth into an even bigger smile, which looked uncanny with my face. “The old me.”

“What do you mean ‘the old you’”?

“Well seeing as I'm much younger now, while you're much older, I think the term is appropriate.”

“Well yeah, but not for long. I'm going to switch us back.”

“Oh no you're not! I may have preferred being white, but I’m enjoying youth again! Oh, and don't worry. I saw that coin thing and that letter this morning, and I made sure it would never see the light of day again. You got that…Richard?” 

He called me that in the same mocking tone that I always use to call him. I can't believe this!

“Y-you can't do this! I had a future!”

“That's my future now old man. You know maybe I could be a model with these looks. Maybe make one of those, what do you kids call it? OnlyFans?”

God no, I'm an artist, not a pornstar. He can't do this!

“The greeter is a real fun job, Richard. Enjoy it. You're hired!”

[sc0tters]

Not Gone For Long | Quinn Hughes

summary: you broke up with Quinn two weeks ago, but what happens when you two run into each other at a bar?

request: yes/no

warnings: none.

word count: 1.63K

authors note: I have had this idea in my head for literal hours icl but since I came up with it I’ve been dying to get it written. This is also my first attempt at writing an imagine for an NHL player, so I hope you like it!

Never go to bed angry with each other.

That was the first rule that you and Quinn made when you got together and neither one ever believed that if it was broken it would soon bring the end of the relationship, but it did.

The two of you had spent two months fighting before you finally mustered up the courage to pull the plug on the relationship when he was on a two week road trip with the team.

And with that three years of a relationship were sent down the drain.

You never thought that leaving him would be easy. You knew that it would be tough on your heart as he was everywhere you looked, on billboards, the TVs at bars, even on the insides of your eyelids when you attempted to sleep.

Your best friends were your total support system during the last two months as they made sure that you never had more than a few seconds to think about the boy that you loved obviously not counting your time in your bedroom because that’s where he seemed to attack your mind.

The apartment you once dreamed of before Quinn was now the place you called home. It was a one bed place but it was all you needed as you settled back into the mundane life.

Unbeknownst to you Quinn had been a total wreck from the moment he walked back into the apartment to see it in a shell of its former self. If it wasn’t for his teammates he would have knocked on every door in Vancouver until he found you, but when the boys reminded him that you had left when he was gone for a reason it made him want to stay home instead.

Quinn wanted to be mad at you for leaving in the way that you did yet the only thing that replayed through his mind was how the last thing he said to you was “see you soon,” no kiss, not even a hug, he just walked out of the apartment. Leaving you by yourself for the next two weeks.

The moment Ellen learnt about the break up she went was on the next flight over on a mission to comfort her son. That night he cried so hard that his lungs ached and his throat burned.

It didn’t help that the Canucks had been through another subpar season, but his upset state wasn’t helping that as he hadn’t scored since you left. Sometimes he wondered if you still watched his games, each time that he’d skate onto the ice he’d search for your face in the crowd and each time he was left empty handed.

Somehow despite all this, your relationship didn’t actually end on bad terms, you two still loved each other and had truly learnt that absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

The fight that broke the camels back though now felt minuscule, if he didn’t want to come with you on your business trip to Paris you didn’t really care. You’d settle for those two weeks without him rather than the last two months, every day of the week.

Now it was present day and your friends managed to convince you to join them on a night out. It was going to be your first as a single woman. You had even managed to get a smile onto your face, not a fake forced smile but instead a real one.

Yet it felt like a balloon full of water burst above your head as you saw him.

Quinn had been dragged to the same bar by his teammates as they celebrated the fact that the season was over.

Your friend saw that you tensed up and as she followed your line of sight she was quick to apologise “we can go somewhere else if you would like?” She proposed not wanting you to have a bad night.

But as there were five of you in the group this was a moment you didn’t want to be selfish in “this bar is big enough for the two of us.” Your voice was soft as you shook your head not letting your eyes leave the boy as you stared more so in shock.

He looked like he had lost weight, hadn’t shaved so his facial hair was now growing out of control, the curls that you loved but he hated were now proudly sat on his head.

Quinn wished that he had seen his hairdresser though the second he saw you. He actually heard your best friends laugh first, it was funny how the sound irritated him.

When he thought he was dreaming or that his sleep deprived mind was playing tricks on him, he spun his head around locking eyes with you.

His cold beer glass masked the sweatiness of his hands as he chugged the last of the bland liquid before he got up “anyone else need a refill?” He watched as you walked off heading in the direction of the bar.

It was the perfect time to talk to you, yes he knew that it was selfish but part of him just hoped that you were as caught up by the breakup as he was.

So he made his way over to the bar, making sure to avoid the drunken men that walked into his path as he was desperate to never lose sight of your little green dress that he loved so much on you.

You thought he never noticed that when the told you he liked that dress on your first date you went out and bought it in seven other colours. But he did, Quinn noticed everything yet that original dress still remained his favourite.

The familiar sound of your acrylics tapping on the table sent shivers down his spine “hey,” his voice came out like a croak causing your eyes to go wide.

You stared at him through the corner of your eye knowing that if you faced him, it would have been over for you “hi.”

If you two hadn’t broken up his fingers would have been on your jaw forcing you to look at him “can you look at me?” He asked feeling the tears begin to well at his eyes “please?” The beg was enough to make your hearty break all over again.

You looked at him not caring that you makeup was now very much ruined as tears ran down your cheeks “I’m sorry,” you blurted out not knowing what else to say.

But it was also true, you did feel sorry about breaking up with him. You wished that you’d handled things better. Yes this was the best way to protect your heart but besides for that it was the worst possible option for every other thing.

Just like old times Quinn didn’t hesitate to comfort the girl as he wrapped his arms around her pulling her into a hug “I know,” he placed a kiss on your head ignoring how your tears were soaking his shirt.

The coldness of those tears hit him like a dose of reality, you left because the relationship had grown cold.

This was the first time he had hugged you since January, it was now April.

He never meant to stop putting in effort but one day it sort of started and he didn’t know how to stop it. And he was so stressed about hockey that he let the fights you two had fall into the back of his mind.

Whilst he had spent the last two months thinking you were the bad guy, he realised that it had been his fault all along.

That was almost the problem with the whole thing, you each blamed yourselves for putting the knife into the relationship.

Quinn swore that he had been doing it over time and you were just the one to give it the final push.

You finally got your breathing under control causing you to look up at him as your chin rested against the his chest “why are you here?” You asked not trying to be rude but you swore that if you were in his shoes even you wouldn’t want anything to do with yourself.

He let out a soft laugh as he dragged his thumb against your cheek “missed you,” he confessed as he watch the pad of his finger clean in the smudge of your mascara.

Hearing that he must have also had a rough time made you feel sick to your stomach “thought you would have hated me.” You mumbled still thinking that this was all a dream.

Quinn would have been lying if he said that your words didn’t break his heart “could never hate you.” He softly smiled trying to tell you that he meant every word.

As much as he enjoyed being with his friends he wanted to leave “come with me?” He asked holding his hand out for you to grab.

The way his hand interlocked with yours told you that this wasn’t a dream “we should talk somewhere a bit more private.” As much as you wanted to say that you could go back to his apartment and be fine, you knew that things needed to change.

And if they didn’t then you would be having to move on forever.

The stars shone down on Vancouver as you two snuck out of the bar, despite the fact that both friends groups watched the interaction neither decided to stop it.

Sitting in his car that parked at a lookout spot looking over the city as you two ate food from your favourite takeaway restaurant you learnt one thing:

You weren’t letting him go as easy as you did this time.

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

I agree with you about your stances on punishment, and I think it's so important to see that perspective instead of the more common one. I do not want to live in a world with the death penalty or prison.

But I'm very curious how you got to the point where you want your abuser to be happy. Capital H happy. I've never seen that before. I think it's great, and it must've taken a lot of time, and if it's not too personal, I'd like to hear about the process. If not to help myself, to help someone else. I'm personally very very jaded to the whole "forgiveness" mentality (it seems very catholic to me somehow? I forgive you so I'm better than you?) But the way you put it feels different somehow. Sorry for picking your brain, and if it's too personal I totally get it. Thanks for your time.

Thank you for this question.

Hm, it's a tough one. It may be informed by my lack of any singular capital-A Abuser. Certainly, I have had people who were abusive to me longer term (my mother especially), but for the most part it was many dozens of adults in single instances or shorter term situations during my childhood and teenage years that raped or otherwise harmed me. That lack of any singular individual to act as a locus for all the damage may have made it easier for me to come to a point where I wish them well.

I remember being 19, face in my toilet bowl, puking my guts up after downing a fifth of rum in an hour or two. I think it was a Thursday. I understood my mother for the first time. I wanted to stop drinking, and I didn't know why I couldn't.

My roommate at the time slept on a mattress on the floor in the living room. He left his family the day he turned 18 and took the Greyhound across the country to crash with me. We were good friends when he got here, but my negligence and failure to control my drug use ruined that relationship within a few months. He stayed with me for two years. He didn't have other options.

I don't remember those years well at all. Besides various temp jobs, all I did was drink, get fucked up, and make messes I never cleaned up. It was a one bedroom apartment and I had the bedroom, he couldn't really go anywhere. He didn't really know anyone. I was a fucking terror to live with, and a terror he couldn't even really get away from.

And I didn't mean to be that way. I didn't mean to hurt him with my dereliction. But it doesn't matter, y'know, impact is more important than intent. I fucked up bad.

Eventually he left. I was and still am filled with remorse for putting him through what I did. Maybe this perspective is the christian upbringing, maybe it's twelve step bullshit, but often I see my feelings as very self serving. I can justify just about anything, as long as I use enough self pity. But this feeling was different. It was just... remorse, pure and unfiltered. No rationalizations as to how it wasn't really my fault, no equivocations, no blaming outside factors, just acknowledgement that I fucked up and I hurt someone I loved. I was sorry that I had done that.

Humility does not come naturally to me. This was a humbling experience.

I--and everyone I've ever met, everyone who ever harmed me--am a human being. No more, no less. In each of us is potential both to love deeply and to do great harm to others. No one is without both these potentials.

It comes down to this: what I wish for myself, I must wish for all.

Do not mistake me here--this does not neatly translate into a pragmatic political position. For me, this is simply some sort of spirituality, that is to say, how I strive to navigate my life, day at a time, in the world as I find it. This is as small scale as it can get.

I understand that feeling about forgiveness you mention. What I have to say about it probably won't help the christian connotation; I am an atheist and a subjectivist, though obviously culturally evangelical. Maybe it is that last part that influences this next, but I don't feel I have the authority to forgive anyone. Or, in another word, 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone.'

Now, of course, I believe in neither god nor sin, but I do believe in harm. 'Let he who is not capable of such harm cast the first stone,' perhaps. Not all harm is equivalent, certainly, but no one is innately capable or incapable of greater harm than others. The ability to actually do harm is relative to relations to power, no doubt, but a given power relation is not innate.

So yeah I end up back at 'i have no moral high ground over or under anyone else, the forgiveness is neither mine to give nor withhold,' which frankly is a rather christian viewpoint.

There's this idea in Judaism that has stuck with me for the last few years: tikkun olam. To repair the world. What must I do to ensure my part in that repair happens?

There is so little I have control of. The only thing I can change is what I do. If the world around me is hardened and cruel, why must I adopt that cruelty into myself? Will it get me better outcomes in life? Perhaps, perhaps not. I have found it hasn't, but others may find it has. But that's talking about results. And I don't have power over results.

I cannot change the world, cannot repair it alone. But I think I can work to repair myself, and in the process, the smallest portion of the world may be repaired alongside me. Maybe, maybe not. It becomes a matter of faith. Or to put it in a therapeutic framing, it's an 'even if.'

I'll end with this, an old twelve step saying: "resentments are like drinking a bottle of poison and expecting the other person to die."

What is a resentment? Re- as in once more. -sent, as in sentiment. Feeling something once more. It is the reanimated corpse of a feeling, not the feeling itself. It looks like the feeling you know, maybe walks and talks like it too. But it's rotting away. It died long ago. So why should you pretend the corpse is alive? It moves, it rasps, but it's something else now; it only shares a body with the original, nothing else. So maybe it's time to let go, and begin to move forward.

[fallingdownhell]

i love your writing so much i can't resist from requesting -

im an AS student and man these exams are not easy I've been pulling all nighters and its obviously effecting on me a lot and i don't have a thoma in my life T^T

can i request thoma x reader (modern AU) where she is pulling all nighters, skipping meals, etc while thoma is away on a buisness trip or something (with the Kamisato siblings) and when he gets back to home he sees her almost passed out with a fever and he takes care of her and helps her get back on her feet again ^^

feel free to ignore this <3

have a nice day/night and take care :D

Thanks, I'm glad to hear that<3

Ugh yeah, studying and exams are hard, but please do take care of yourself! That's still the most important thing to do.

But honestly, you're so right. Everyone should have a Thoma in their life. So, allow me to prepare something. Hope that it helps to relax you a bit as well<3

Pairing: Thoma x reader

Content: gender neutral reader; Modern AU; burnout; stress; exams suck; comfort; being taken care of when sick

Word count: 1,8k words

Enjoy the ride!

Studying was hard.

In fact, it was one of the worst things on this planet to ever exist. Why do people have to go through this for multiple years in their life?

It was already hard enough to stay focused and not get distracted by literally anything else. Even the most minute thing could normally easily steal your attention away.

Yet right now, you had to endure. A hard week was coming your way, two very important exams were approaching, with a third one being scheduled the week after.

You have been studying non stop for a few days now, but somehow, nothing seemed to stay in your head, every word you read seemed to be thrown out your head again at the next second.

So, instead of taking a break and just giving yourself even a few minutes of rest, you just studied even harder. Days became longer and longer and before you knew it, you were studying well into the night, but you couldn't help it.

Those exams were very important, it could possibly ruin your entire future if you were to fail even one of them. At least, that's what you're telling yourself.

To your (mis)fortune - however you wanna look at it now - your boyfriend Thoma, who usually would be pestering you by now to finally take a break, wasn't around for a few weeks, since he went on a trip with a few of his friends.

At first, he wanted to bail out of it, so he could stay with you and support you through these tough weeks. But you insisted that he went on the trip, said it would be good for him to get out and spend some quality time with his friends.

In the end, he reluctantly agreed to it, but he still made sure to text you every day, reminding you to take care of yourself and to not overwork yourself.

Each time you got a text like that from him, you felt guilt well up inside you, from how you so easily ignored his worries about you and your health. Yet, every time again, you pushed those feelings down again, telling you that you had no time for them right now.

...

You were currently deep into yet another study session again, your head already pounding from the constant stress and influx of information, when your phone gave off a text notification next to you.

The screen lit up once you looked at it, showing you a new message from Thoma and also told you that it was already almost midnight again.

'You still up?', was the message displayed on your screen. You hesitated on wether or not you should respond to him, knowing that he would most likely scold you for staying up so late again. But in the end, you decided on just answering him.

'Yeah, I am. What's up?', you replied back to him.

You waited a few seconds for his answer, but instead of a new message came the notification of an incoming video call. Confused but also pleasantly surprised, you accepted the call and were soon greeted with the handsome face of your boyfriend Thoma, which you haven't seen in quite some time. God, how did you only now realise how much you missed him?

"Hey", he said, his voice sounding a bit off thanks to the quality of the phone, but that's okay. At least you got to hear his voice again.

"Hey", you answered back with a soft smile, taking in his surroundings. He was laying on his stomach, holding his phone in front of him with one hand, while the other rested under his chin on a pillow. In the background, you could hear soft snoring.

"Is that Ayato snoring in the background?", you laughed, but Thoma seemed to be used to it at this point.

"Yeah. I'm actually not surprised you hear that, but trust me, it's so much louder when your in the same room as him. He sleeps like a stone and his snoring has kept me up so many times. Like today."

You nodded in understanding. While Thoma may not snore, your previous partner sure did, and it robbed you of your sleep more times than you could count.

"How are you, (name)? Taking enough breaks?", he asked, even managing to give you a pointed look through the camera of the phone. You briefly debated on just telling him yes so he would feel better, but you couldn't bring yourself to lie to Thoma. Not when he was so earnestly concerned about you.

"More or less..", you opted to respond, thinking it would not sound too bad. Yet, knowing you for this long, Thoma knew exactly what that meant.

"(Name)...", he sighed, pinching his nose with his free hands. But before he could go on a full blown rant, you tried changing the subject.

"Let's not talk about that, okay. I'll manage and I don't want to ruin the good mood of your trip. I hope you're having fun by the way."

Thoma looked at you for a few seconds, deciding on wether or not to just go with it. "I know what you're trying to do here. Just... promise me you won't take it too far, okay. Don't neglect yourself, take breaks and remember to eat something."

"Thoma.. I can't really promise you, but I'll try, okay?"

He sighed again, but agreed to that with a reluctant "Alright.", since he knew that this would probably be the best he would get out of you. He really hated how you had this habit to just not take care of yourself when you were stressed, which is why he didn't want to go on this trip in the first place.

But, you were right after all. He really needed this trip to get out for a bit and breath some fresh air, and he had a lot of fun with both Ayato and Ayaka. You were initially invited to join them as well, but sadly had to decline because it would overlap with your exams.

The two of you talked for quite a bit about all kinds of things. The stuff the three of them had been up to during their trip, where they went to (since it was a road trip) and stuff like that. Hearing about it, you were really sad you couldn't join them, but that's just how things are now.

Before ending the call, Thoma informed you that they probably would be back by the end of next week, which was also when you would finally be done with all your exams. Then, you could finally rest again and enjoy some much needed quality time with your boyfriend again.

"Good night, (name). I love you."

"I love you too, Thoma. Good night."

And after that, your screen went black again, and you were suddenly all alone again in your quiet room, with nothing to occupy your mind but the constant need to study and get better.

So, with a deep sigh, you got back to work.

...

It was finally done. The last test has been dealt with, it was over.

You arrived at your apartment, utterly exhausted. You had been ignoring the warning signs of your body for far too long, and yet you still insisted of pushing your own limits.

You started to develop a constant headache a few days ago, with the fever joining in two days ago. Yet you still pushed through, telling yourself that you were fine, that you were able to do this.

And you did do it, but now that you were falling onto your couch, finally able to relax for the first time in two weeks, you realized what you had done to yourself.

You had no strength left in you, no will to do anything at all. You were utterly exhausted and done, not being able to do anything but welcome the darkness that overcame you as you simply passed out on the spot.

...

"(Name)? I'm home!", Thoma yelled as he entered your apartment, using the spare key that you gave him. When no reply came back to him, worry began to rise even more. He had been texting you for the last three hours, telling you that he got back safely. But when you still didn't reply, his concern got the best of him, and he made his way over to your apartment.

"(Name)?", he tried again, while moving through the living space. Once he passed the living room, he saw you, laying on the couch, passed out. At first, thinking nothing of it, he smiled a little and made his way over to your side, crouching down next to you.

But when he saw the pained expression on your face and how sweaty you were, he instantly knew something was up. Without thinking, he gently picked you up into his arms to carry you to your bedroom, before he went to check on your temperature.

As he suspected, you had a fever.

"Damn it, (name).", he sighed. Seemed like he had to take care of you until you wake up again.

...

When you woke up again, you had no idea what time it was, but judging by the the lack of bright light coming form outside, it had to be either evening or night already.

Your head was still spinning a bit and when you went to touch your forehead, you noticed something cold and wet.

That's also when you realized that you weren't in the living room anymore, but actually your bedroom.

Still confused and trying to piece the missing information together, the door to your room swung open, revealing the form of your boyfriend Thoma to you.

"Thoma! You're back!", you exclaimed, trying to get out of the bed, but were quickly pushed back down again.

"Don't even think about getting up. Your fever is still way too high for you to be jumping around like that.", he scolded, which caused you to follow his instruction. Only now did you also notice that you were wearing your pyjama and not the things you collapsed in on the couch. He really took care of everything for you...

"I'm sorry..", you quietly mumbled, and you meant it. You felt bad and guilty for causing him to worry so much about you. Even worse that he had every right to do so, since you did work yourself sick.

Thoma sighed, sitting down on the bed, slowly extending a hand to stroke your hair a bit.

"Don't scare me like that again. You were passed out for hours. All I want is for you to be okay. I can only achieve that if you also start taking care of yourself."

"Okay.. I promise I'll take better care."

And he believed you. It was the only thing he could do, besides nursing you back to health right now. And you appreciated and loved him even more for putting up with you and still caring for you, despite all.

[anna1306]

I read your poly!lost boys x reader from addams family while I was watching addams family values and that got me thinking how would the boys react to Pubert (the baby) and Wensday and Pugsley trying to kill him to?

It's slowly turning into series 😅

Poly!Lost boys x Addams!Reader

Part 4

Part 3 is here

It should have been a simple visit to Addams residence. Normal, ordinary, usual. The family and the boys were used already to you coming from time to time to the Addams house. It was your first visit in nearly a year, as you were busy with your things in Santa-Carla. But you, of course, should have meet your new little brother. And the boys had to meet him too, they were practically Addams at this point.

Even if they were a bit taken aback by his... Unusual looks right from the birth. But they were getting used to it in this family. Still they weren't accustomed to lots of other things...

"What in the actual hell?!" Marko exclaimed, floating in the air, while holding baby Pubert in his hands, who, even being upside down, giggled nonchalantly. The vampire didn't expect to walk out from their room to a baby, literally flying off the railings of the long staircase. Only his reaction, sharpened by all those years with high Paul, let him catch the baby in time.

"A game." Wednesday answered calmly, only her eyes held a glint of disappointment.

"HE WENT FLYING THROUGH THE GODDAMN AIR STRAIGHT TO THE WINDOW!" Screamed Marko. Other boys went out to investigate the commotion, noticing kids on the second floor, standing near the stairs.

"We miscalculated." Pugsley shrugged almost calmly, like his sister, but lowered his head under attentive gaze of Dwayne.

"What's with the noise?" You showed up to the scene next, looking around. "Oh, you are playing!" You smiled, looking up to Marko with the baby in his hands.

"Your siblings sent little one flying across the room. I am not sure that this is safe for him." Marko lowered himself on the floor. You shook your head slightly, taking Pubert in your hands.

"No, it's not safe at all, love." You bounced your little brother in your hands. "He would probably die from the fall."

"Then why the hell you are so calm about it?.." Marko furrowed his brows, not understanding the situation at all.

"Don't get the wrong idea. It's not normal to play this way with babies. But I get where they are coming from. I was jealous when Pugsley showed his face in this world too." You admitted in hushed tone, though your whole family knew of it. You smiled, looking at Pubert in your hands. "More so, old traditions are very strong in our family. When there is another baby, one of the elder ones must die."

"You tried to kill your own brother?" Scoffed Paul, looking at you, clearly not believing you. Others were more surprised at the fact of such tradition existing in your family, but didn't have the time to ask you about that.

"And sister." You added, raising your gaze at one of your boyfriends. "I almost feel nostalgic..."

"But they both managed to survive."

"They were very persistent little spawns of darkness." You giggled. "Besides, mother had very convincing and strict talk with me. It is nothing but a phase, it will pass."

"But they can kill him in this phase!" Marko exclaimed nervously, obviously stressed about this topic.

"We, Addams, are made from tough material, darling. You can't simply kill us." You kissed him on the cheek, in attempt to calm him down. "But we need to inform mother and father about it and keep an eye on the situation." You nodded in agreement. The boys looked between each other with heavy sigh.

And keep an eye on the situation they did exactly. Even if it didn't seem like it, one of the boys constantly were listening in to the baby or even watching him if they could. In daytime they trusted you or your parents to keep the situation in bay. In nighttime they all helped one way or another.

David could somehow distinguish normal bottle with baby food from the poisonous one. Dwayne, on several occasions, managed to grab arrows or daggers thrown in the direction of the baby. Marko almost got used to catching Pubert in middle air. And Paul screamed like a banshee every time he saw your little brother in the guillotine.

Of course, Morticia and Gomez instigated the talk with your siblings. It helped little, as Wednesday calmly continued doing the same, just more secretly, and Pugsley always were very leading by nature and he trusted her fully.

The boys joined the talk, but only inserted some short phrases. Paul was the only one who stood more to the side, not knowing what to say exactly.

"I know you both won't tell us anything about your reasons. And I know you will agree to anything so you will get out of this situation as soon as possible." David scoffed, knowing it from him and his brothers all to well, in regards to their relations with Max. "But if this is about jealousy, there is no reason. Your parents, I am sure of it, love all of you equally."

"But of course!" Gomez exclaimed, jumping from his seat. "You are all my little monsters, whom I love!"

"We still loved your sibling, Y/N, and decided to have you." Calmly added Morticia, holding Pubert in her hands. "If this is the reason behind your behaviour, it is illogical."

"We heard you." Wednesday's face didn't change one bit. Pugsley, though, looked down during the whole conversation, not daring to look up. You had a feeling that he was more scared of your or Dwayne's reaction than his parents'.

"Whom will you kill then?" He asked, glancing at your parents. "One Addams to come, one Addams to go, right?"

"Oh, my monster, this tradition is old. Look at your uncle and your father. They are both only on the way to their eternal sleep." Morticia smiled at your brother.

"Oh, but how funny our games were!" Uncle Fester laughed excitedly. "I locked him up in the crypt for a week before he was thin enough to get out through the window. And how Gomez electrocuted me... My head was lighting, like a bulb!" Gomez smiled fondly at the memories.

"Then consider it sibling game. Or rivalry." Wednesday came up with the solution. "They try to kill each other every night practically." She threw glance in the boys direction.

"Pffft, we can't die from the fall." Scoffed Marko, almost insulted by this.

"Yes, we are pretty much immortal. But still we wouldn't harm each other that hard or put one of us in gravely danger." Dwayne nodded, glancing at Paul. "Even if someone is asking for it."

"Hey!" He almost jumped at the brunette, but you quickly stood in front of him, placing your hand on his shoulder.

"Enough is enough, mon chèr." You looked at him sternly. Paul pouted, but didn't dare to make another attempt to attack. You were reminding him of Morticia sometimes, he was... A little afraid of that. You kissed him on the cheek to lift a bit tension from him and turned to your siblings. "There is nothing wrong with playing once in a while or healthy competition, battle, rivalry. But be more aware of the fact that he can't fully play with you yet. There is no reason for you to follow such an old tradition that even our father had abandoned. Deal?"

"Deal." Wednesday answered. Pugsley nodded silently. "Can we finish this humiliation here?"

Of course they continued their attempts even after that talk. Just in more secretive way. Marko even mumbled to himself that it was easier to turn the baby at this point. Easier and safer.

But you were right in the end This went on only for some time. After a while Wednesday and Pugsley settled in and all of the attempts to get rid of Pubert turned into more playful ones. They were Addams games, nonetheless, but the level of danger got significantly lower.

The boys were still pretty hesitant to go back to Santa-Carla though.

"You sure it's okay?" You smiled at nervous Paul. If you weren't the one driving, you could swear he would turn around in an instant.

"It's all going to be alright, love. Parents are more than capable of dealing with this on their own."

"They tried to set him on fire yesterday." Dwayne noticed, looking out of the rear window, your house and family standing in front of it, waving to you.

"Ah, the game of Inquisition. Classic. I taught Wednesday how to play this." You smiled and turned from the road to look at your boys. "I am touched that you care so much for my little brother and for my family. But I assure you, that the most dangerous times are over. Now they can deal with it themselves. Besides, I heard parents discussed hiring a nanny, so..."

"Kitten, a tree!" David grabbed the steering wheel, sharply turning it and the car back to the road. You whimpered a bit, hearing a crash from the back of the hearse. Apparently, Marko got thrown into the wall by the sharp turn and was cursing now to himself. "Please, watch the road, you are not immortal yet."

"David, I will love you even in death. Even from the other side." You smiled at him, but returned your attention to the road.

"We know this. But let's not get you killed before you get to turn, alright?" He asked, sitting on the passenger seat next to you. "I don't think you have the luck of this non-killable baby."

"Oh, mon cœur, but this is Addams's family trait." You simply laughed at this, completely and utterly sure that you had chosen your loved ones right.

The Lost Boys Taglist: @minafromasgard @starmullet @iloveslasher @twistedharper @ichorixm @promptsforstuff @collieflower215 @henhouse-horrors @smenny @id-rather-be-in-middle-earth @the-faceless-bride

[mostmagical]

nicole my love will you rank your top three or top five or top ten video games… whichever number you wish to gush about… i love you…

hi sunny..... oughh I have a tough time picking favorites.... I looked at this question like a homework assignment.. I did a top 10 and I put reasoning even though you did not ask for that but I'm putting it under this read more in case you want it... you don't have to read more though... but you can... i love you...

Top 10

Kingdom Hearts - Obviously of course. I don’t always even rank KH1 as my favorite KH game but basically this was my “oh games can be like that?” game. Until I played this, I mostly played simulator games and movie tie-ins and Barbie games, and I loved those but this one had a STORY I could bury myself in. I forced the friend I played this game with to sit and wait while I read through every journal entry and character file looking for MORE, because I was so immediately hooked on everything.

Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories - This one always ranks high not just because of the story, which I love, but because this was the first game I ever beat entirely by myself. A lot of people skip or can’t stand this game so I’m extra proud of myself tbh. But this is the game where one of my favorite characters became one of my favorite characters, so it’ll always have a special place.

Ōkami - I love this game so much… It’s so visually stunning, I love the unique game play, and Amaterasu is such an amazing protagonist despite the fact that she does talk outside of barking and howling and also she is literally a dog. But she’s so good. There’s a dedicated bark button, which is important. AND THERE’S FISHING!

Final Fantasy X - I’ve literally never sobbed more over a piece of media in my entire life. The game wasn’t even over yet. I had to fight a boss with tears in my eyes. This was my first FF game and oh my god. Oh my god. I can say no more.

Horizon Zero Dawn - I got so sucked into this game. It was all I could think about for months. I love the environmental storytelling and the world-building and Aloy is a female protagonist WITHOUT a love interest in this game and it’s so huge to me and ugh. UGH.,

Hades - This game is so fun… I usually don’t like games that make me feel like I’m struggling but they somehow made it such a joy to die over and over again and see what’s up in the house. The sheer amount of unique dialogue makes it impossible to get annoyed. And it’s just FUN. Full of complicated family dynamics and Greek mythology… Collectibles… WOO (also has fishing)

Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life - This is a really sentimental add, but it’s genuinely one of my favorites. I have so many memories of me and my childhood best friend staying up until the wee hours of the morning playing this game, only to go to bed and set an alarm to get up and play it again. AWL has some of the best NPCs of all HM/SOS games, and also the cutest cows. Ever.

Final Fantasy XV - FISHING. And also stories about bonds we build… friendship… ough.. I love sitting in the back of the car and letting Ignis drive and feeling like we’re all on a friendship road trip together. Random stops for pictures and bathroom breaks included. Luna deserved better but the hours I spent fishing made up for that.

Persona 5 Strikers - It probably seems silly to put this here and not Persona 5, but I really loved Strikers so much. It had such satisfying gameplay, completely different from the source material, yet still somehow felt like such an homage to the classic movesets. It was a really good adaptation to a new genre. I loved the story and the new characters, who MADE ME CRY! and I think it’s such a shame, because a lot of Persona players skipped this one!!! Ryuji gets to say fuck. Come on, people.

The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles - I love the characters in this game so much… I miss them… I love the original AA trilogy, but this one was so much fun for me. I love Herlock Sholmes… I love him so much I forgot that his real name is not Herlock Sholmes. All the characters are so dynamic and the cases are so fun… That was a game I wished never had to end.

Special mention to Animal Crossing: Wild World, Barbie Horse Adventures Mystery Ride, Secret Agent Barbie, Ni No Kuni, God of War (2018), Gris... I love video games. Damn.

[mellowwillowy]

Greetings Mellow,

I hope you are eating on time and drinking enough water. I recently stumbled upon your very handsome OC (look-wise and character-wise <3). But I am in need of some more content from Blue, our cute puppy.

Last night, I was thinking about this one scenario. You mentioned that Blue was involved in some suspicious underground job(?), so, one unfortunate night for our reader, but FORTUNATE for Blue, where he somehow got involved in crossfire with an enemy of his and got shot in his abdomen. As a result, he was in immense pain (obviously), frustration visible on his face. While he was contemplating what his next move should be, there comes our reader! She was working late in her ceramics studio; while disposing of the trash from the back door, the air carried faint groans and moans, ominous sounds that hinted at someone in distress. True to her being the main character that she is, she walks closer to the crouched figure. Upon closer look, she sees a pool of blood around the baby blue-haired man.

Without hesitation, she crouched down next to him; almost immediately, she took off her hoodie and pressed the cloth onto his oozing wound. Now, Blue here feels like he is on cloud 9. Is he dying? Is she an angel that he sees? If yes, then he wouldn't mind dying in her arms; with the last of his energy, he hides the gun. The reader freaks out but does not waste time pulling him inside her studio (with much struggle). She places him on the loveseat sofa and rushes inside her bathroom to grab her first aid kit. Thankfully, the bullet went through, so the reader did not have to worry about taking out any bullet. She gently tried to keep Blue conscious, occasionally caressing his cold cheeks and murmuring encouragements.

After a meticulous wound dressing, his eyelids began to flutter shut. The reader draped a blanket over his shivering form, surveying the aftermath as she grappled with the uncertainty of her actions. Throughout the night, she stood vigil by his side, periodically checking on him, her mind grappling with the weight of her decisions.

As dawn breaks, what do you think will unfold when Blue awakens? How will he react to the unexpected savior who tended to his wounds and offered a respite from the shadows that enveloped him? Can you make a short scenario based on this?

───🌷

I’m not sure if Blue is considered fortunate enough that a bullet pierced through him but it sure is for reader 😭

CW: Blue is not so kind with his thoughts lol.

Blue was still wary of his surroundings including you when he woke up. He had no weapon in hand but he could still threw you off if you were to harm him, right?

But you did none of that. Instead, you took great care of him for the whole night! It was rather questionable why you didn’t bother to give the ER a call though.

Of course, he gave you the impression the he was just some silly funny guy that accidentally got shot. Truth was that he was very pissed. How could his father’s men failed to keep him safe and sound? That aside, he was content enough with the idea of encountering yet another stupid plaything.

He was great with his words, as slimy as those lawyers, he made you let him stay for the week! One week was all it takes for him to evaluate you after all. Whether you were the person he should ‘keep’ or ‘dispose’ of.

Alas it was not as he expected. He did not think this would take a U turn to a romantic headstart. Wasn’t it supposed to be something of a platonic or just ended in one night stand?

Blue knew how things work but not this. Was his heart picking up pace because of the wound? It was unreasonable. He didn’t want to admit it but he could only try. A week spent with you would have determined everything he originally thought of.

Yet he could not see this one outcome (Happens if you manage to play your cards right, Blue is a tough love interest!)

He fell for you, not because of your kindness and naivety, no it was something more than this stupid plot.

And he wanted you more than anything.

Yes, he would take his leave once the week ended. Whether you fell for him or not, he would soon come back as a man you don’t remember ever encountering.

His smile was eerily familiar, his voice was light when he spoke: “Hello~! Nice to meet you, the name is Blue!”

Nb: The Blue you first saw was a completely different person lol.

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. i'm WAY behind. friday we watched voy's "tattoo," saturday i finally womaned up and agreed to watch ds9's "the visitor" and then we also bravely soldiered on to "hippocratic oath," and last night we did ds9's "indiscretion" and "rejoined."

tattoo (voy):

it's a real shame about (waves vaguely at racefaking "expert" on voy's writing staff) because, due to my own lack of education, i never know which stuff is based in fact and which is just wholesale bullshit. i remember one time i googled something about chakotay's culture because it seemed so obviously fake, and it turned out to be Kind Of True But Not Like That. it sucks because not ONLY was it a huge missed opportunity for Representation And Education (tm) but chakotay is a really interesting guy and i'd like to know more about him and see him get to do more stuff without him getting buried in the like. mysticism and racism of it all. it's no good for him and it's no good to sit through either

bc like. at this episode's core. if you could somehow remove the racist panflute and the whole thing where we portray people from THE SPACE TRAVELING FUTUREEE as primitive savages, you could have had a good story. chakotay struggles with not feeling at home where he lives/in his own culture, goes to space about it, then has an emotional crisis when his dad dies while the two of them are on bad terms. i know that's a good story and i know star trek can make that a good story because do you know who else has that story? SPOCK.

LIKE. IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY. WHAT WERE YOU DOING!

anyway, chakotay naked. i know he was naked for the wrong reasons but that man had his whole ass out. bold moves heretofore only taken by sir patrick stewart himself. GOOD FOR HIM!

oh yeah the b plot of this episode sucked. we have to give the doctor a cold because of his lack of compassion? since When has he ever complained about sick or whiny people? been gruff with them, sure, tough-love kind of guy definitely, but no one would program a doctor who hated serving patients?? i did like that kes gave him an extra hour to be evil though. i love her so much

the visitor (ds9):

i don't want to talk about it.

or, no, i actually already talked about it, and i don't have anything to add, except that 1. christopher nolan can still suck it 2. every episode of ds9's 4th season so far has made me feel like i need to give it a "must see" on the spreadsheet. i almost can't believe i'm watching star trek. i have to start grading the damn things on a curve

hippocratic oath:

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. stuck with the jem'hadar and julian is like "i can fix them" and o'brien is like "i have been racist my whole life and i'm not about to stop now and also you cannot fix them so i am going to condemn them to a horrible death in order to save your life" because he did at the beginning of the episode say out loud with his mouth that he wished his wife was more like julian bashir and then promptly refused to examine that thought even a little bit

like this had EVERYTHING. gay people. ethical dilemmas. twink with a spine of steel. worf forgetting he's no longer in tng. my best friend odo disguising as an inanimate object. and i'm supposed to just give it a WATCH?

like, i was right there with julian. fix them fix them fix them it's so easy they CAN be weaned off of it this could change everything i was so livid with o'brien for condemning those guys to a painful and undignified ending and for repeatedly ruining julian's attempts to help with all his attempts to escape and then he was like. yeah. i did all that to save YOUR LIFE because i saw that YOU were in danger.

and it obviously doesn't excuse anything and you get the feeling julian COULD have helped them with enough time and the right tools and and and...but he didn't have all that, and obrien KNEW he didn't have all that, and he wasn't willing to risk his friend's life on a gamble when it came to helping enemy soldiers

like, it's his fucking cardassian ptsd. note how he didn't speak when they were captured but bashir did because the gun was on his friend. note how he had to explain why the commander couldn't escape with them. IT MKAES SO MUCH SENSE FOR HIS CHARACTER. who hasn't done horrible things for the people they love? if his wife doesn't get back soon he's going to be asking for julian's hand in marriage by season 5

indiscretion (ds9):

KIRA PULLING THE THORN OUT OF DUKAT'S ASS. sorry i'm good i'm normal

something about dukat...at first he was very boring and flat, and then he was funny but still pretty 2-dimensional, and then he was funny AND gay with sisko but still 2-dimensional, and now he's got all kinds of depth. i completely wrote him off as generic cardassian villain at first but i am genuinely thrilled to see him every time he shows up

like, the bajoran lover and the daughter is such an amazing plot twist, but also, sorry to say this, he and kira have q and picard energy. as in, q wants picard to fuck him so so so bad, and picard has zero interest in doing this, and somehow that interest gets even lower the more q wants it, and the lower his interest gets, the more rabid q is for him, and it's probably the only thing i really enjoyed about either character, a few of sir patrick stewart's better speeches aside. dukat is exactly like that with kira. he is GAGGING for her strap and she finds him vile and rephrensible and the closest they got to fucking was when she pulled the spine out of his ass cheek and laughed at him and he probably is going to put that in the spank bank for the rest of his life. and she will still never fuck him

really fun when she told him to shut up and he shut up <3

i just love episodes that deal with the fallout of the war...it's always such incredible character work. i was worried that with the dominion threat these kinds of episodes would go away and i'm glad that's not the case

also, hi, sisko fumbling things with his gf for the b-plot. dax and julian giving him romantic advice and then mocking him when he leaves. jake being the only one who can talk sense into him. incredible. 10/10

ALSO, not only did capt yates make him work at that apology she did NOT kiss his ass goodbye. and he deserved it.

even quark was funny in this episode, despite the misogyny. he was nice to jake in "the visitor" so i think i've forgiven him because i've made at least two quodo jokes since then. my first love will always be kiraodo (kodo?) though

rejoined (ds9):

LESBIANS IN STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

as previously stated about 600 times on this blog i DID NOT KNOW there would be a gay kiss happening. i thought btvs held the honors for the first gay kiss and that this was going to be like an allegory or a metaphor like in tng. and i did like the tng ep for what it was! but holy shit this blows that out of the water.

i think it's so important that this would have been absolutely NO different whatsoever if either half of the couple had been a man. for the time period especially it's very much like. Queers Are Just Like Us which i think is an important step 1 to reel in potential bigots who are still on the fence. i cannot believe my mother is going to watch this episode someday

also, hi, the allies in this episode...? julian sitting through that WHOLE dinner without the first word of complaint. sisko telling dax it's a bad idea but he'll back her tf up. kira bewildered that any of it is any problem at all. sisko's moment was especially nice bc at first you think he's being a dick which is out of character for him and then you realize 1. he's scared for her 2. he loves her 3. he would probably fight the homophobic (recursionphobic...?) trills with his bare hands if he had a good excuse

it's also nice that zero people in this episode were weird about the idea of two women together. it was SO NORMAL. god i can't believe andor let those two women touch hands for a single shot and called it progressive between that and spn my standards are through the FLOOR!!

TONIGHT: ds9's "starship down" and "little green men," and then we're finally back to voyager.

[walpu]

way more nsfw than i thought it would be / pre relationship & during relationship

calico's biology allowing her to go through a heat cycle. i mean she is part feline in biology, it only makes sense right ? first time it happens is a year into her stay at the hospital within the ipc where a certain doctor is taking care of her. she'd been making serious problems, but she starts to make, uh, noises during a particular night and that drives the doctor in charge of her to come check up on.

this is the first heat she's had in a little over two hundred years at the very least, so needless to say, it was bad. think crying and sniffling and begging for someone to help her. ratio, obviously, has no idea what's happening. one moment she's doing just fine before her last check up of the night and now she's crying hysterically and begging for, well, him. obviously he tries to reason with her that there's no way he could do something like that, especially not in the middle of the night in a hospital room.

but shes still in hysterics, so eventually he offers to help but sets boundaries that he won't go so far as to have actual intercourse, and that seems to calm her down for right now just a little bit. ratio's a tough man, but dammit who can say no to that ? the idea of claiming her is enticing, but somehow throughout the night he calms her down using every other trick and skill in his arsenal.

a few years later, and calico is going through the same things again. this time, she's made a nest in his bed with his clothing that she's now making a mess on, getting her scent everywhere if you know what i mean, and the whole bed was going to need to be washed.

he comes home to find her in the same state that he did those years ago, and this time he's prepared, with enough condoms to last the two of them what he assumed would be three days, but he ran out of condoms in a night.

he's still human he doesn't have the strength to keep up with a species like hers in this aspect, so she's still ready to go even in the early morning and mfer is Drained in every single way shape and form

is he gonna do it anyways ? yeah.

-kitty anon

WEIRD ANIMAL BIOLOGY LET'S GO

What's her heat cycle tho? Once a month or less often? 👀

[nefariouslydinkle]

(Sun being petty & mean pt iv)

There is betrayal on your lips.

Today had already been a disaster. There were extra children, some entirely new and not appreciative of Sun's height nor his too-forced friendliness. It was entirely too obvious that the solar animatronic had been pushing himself to be happy and amicable. You could see it in the greyed eyes, bright pupils showing through, the crook of his upper lip when he spoke. All tells you had learned this last year and a half or so of being with them.

You watched, just as you had the last few days--nearly a week now--as Sun avoided you. Cold stares when your eyes met. Tense shoulders. Though today, he'd look at you now and then with sunken rays. He seemed a little less angered, and a bit more saddened somehow? Well, that made some sense, as you'd been taught anger was a secondary emotion to sadness, fear, or pain. There was no doubt in you that the two of them had a full array of emotions as well. You'd seen Sun and Moon both cry, though tearless. Sun certainly had anxiety, and Moon clearly had anger issues. Not to mention a plethora of other emotions you had witnessed. Hell, they'd even confessed to liking you. (Though Sun absolutely said 'love' and not 'like' that day.) So, yeah, maybe something had saddened Sundrop to the point of him being beligerently angry with you.

...but what?

You continued through your shift, helping kids when you could--When Sun would allow it--and otherwise keeping the Daycare as clean as possible so the end of day work was minimal. You didn't need to spend another night being reminded of how easy it is to lose Moon.

...Or reminders of those aforementioned anger issues.

The daycare closed, all children taken by their loved ones, and it was down to two once more. You and the animatronic. You and Sun. Your Sun. Let's try again.

As silence fell over the daycare (save for the ever present theme song that you tuned out), you approached Sun from behind. Today, you attempted to walk quietly, hoping to not spook him or upset him further. You took your uniform cap in your hands, fiddling with the rin as you barely mustered a mumble,

"H-Hey Sunshine... I know it's been ah... a tough week. I was thinking maybe we should--"

Your voice was cut off abruptly by Sun's faceplate spinning around backward to face you. It was never not unnearving to see that. His eyes were dark grey, and this time you could see faint red rings about his pupils. That's new. The Daycare attendant turned his body toward you after, hands balled at his sides, shoulders tense. You could see him shaking.

"Should what...?" He replied in a clipped tone. It sounded as though he were speaking through his teeth, despite the voice very obviously being from his voicebox.

"...Should, y'know. Talk?" You venture, offering a hand to him. He doesn't take it. In fact, he steps back from it, huffing and grimacing as though you'd offered him a handful of maggots.

And with that, the wire lifted him away, and the lights clicked off.

"You're going to lie to us again." He hissed, eyes narrowing. You hear the wire sliding across the ceiling, and hear it drop. Sun has been making good use of it the last few days, despite being bad at it still. Though tonight he grabbed it with confidence, stared you eye to eye, and whispered, "We don't want to be lied to anymore."

[Off anon now since the cat's been let out of the bag sjfjsjd part 4! One more!]

Oooh I absolutely loved this part—! This was so beautifully written dude :0 and I love once again the mystery of what we did left to the reader while Sun and Moon seems to have some vendetta against us. Honestly I love the use of emotions with the eyes as well that’s my favorite, and I honestly am curious to know the big reveal of what happened to make them so angry and sad. Especially since it’s been revealed that they’ve confessed before this and there was a mutual love.

Can’t wait for more whenever you write it! This is such a good series you have going on and it’s interesting with the dynamic going on.

[bastetwastaken]

The next chapter of Double Exposure looks fun I guess...

He opened the message from Atem and as soon as he saw the photo attached to it he blushed, looking back up toward his door quickly to make sure no one was on their way to see him. 

He took a deep breath before he looked back at the photo. 

The photo only showed Atem from the waist up, but he was shirtless and drenched. Water dripped from his hair which still somehow seemed perfect although it was messy, clear droplets were clinging to the side of his neck, his chest, all the way down his stomach and Yugi found himself jealous of them.

He wished he could catch them with his tongue. 

He took another breath, reminding himself that he was working and really not in the place to be thinking those thoughts...even though it was so damned tempting.  

It took him a full five minutes to realise there were actual words in that message too. 

‘You wanted to know what I was doing today?’ 

He laughed. He’d sent Atem that message hours ago and forgotten about it until now. He looked back up to the door before typing out a response. 

‘Looks fun…’ He paused for a moment, trying to reign in his thoughts enough to not type something inappropriate. ‘What are you making people want to buy now?’ 

He put his phone back on the desk, he wouldn’t expect another reply from Atem for a while now. He returned to his work, he’d just started re-reading the last paragraph he’d written when his phone buzzed. 

He snatched it off the desk. 

‘Fragrance… apparently.’ 

Atems reply made him laugh. He always thought that companies used ridiculous ads to sell things, and Atem was proving him right. Not that he was complaining if it meant he got to see Atem this way. 

Although he did wish that he was there with him…

‘Oh, of course, how did I miss that? ;)’ 

He waited for Atems' reply this time, it seemed he had some time to talk. Another message came through not long after. 

‘Ha ha, you’re sooo funny.’ 

He sighed happily as he sank back further into his chair, how could he feel so warm inside just by texting someone? Atem wasn’t even in the room with him and yet he was making him smile like an idiot. 

‘Aw, thanks ^.^ I’m glad you think so.’ He hesitated then typed out another message quickly. ‘Anyway, I’d love to keep talking to you, but some of us have work to do.’ 

He was joking, obviously and he was confident Atem would understand that, and although he really did have to do some work, talking to Atem was much more enjoyable. 

‘Hey. I am working. I’m working so hard!' 

He laughed, as he hoped, Atem had picked up on the tone he intended. 

‘Yeah? Tough day?’ 

He waited with a smile on his face. 

‘You have no idea…I’ve had so many buckets of water thrown over me :( and they still don’t have the shot they need so we have to wait till I dry off enough to try again.’ 

He had to admit that didn’t actually sound too pleasant, but he’d always wondered just how certain photos were taken. He’d suspected that the life of a model wasn’t always glamorous, but until now he hadn’t really had any way to find that out. 

He needed to ask Atem more about his work. Maybe he’d even ask if he could join Atem one day, just to satisfy his own curiosity…and watch Atem in front of a camera. 

‘Okay, yeah, that doesn’t sound too fun actually.’ 

A part of him was concerned that Atem wasn’t having fun in his work right now, but was anyone's work always good? 

‘It’s really not. I’m kinda cold too…I wish I had you here to warm me up…’ 

...And that message had his thoughts diving down another path entirely. 

‘Hmm. And I wish I was anywhere but at work, but it looks like we’ll both have to be disappointed.’ 

He was proud of himself for responding in a rational manner. What he really wanted to say was much more inappropriate and whilst he was confident Atem would meet him on that front, he was at work. 

‘Unfortunately… Well, we can fix that when I see you tonight? Let me give you something to look forward to.’ 

Despite his best efforts he hoped Atem meant that he was in for a repeat of the night they’d just spent together… He was overcome with a sudden wave of nervousness and he typed his response with shaking hands. 

‘What do you have in mind?’ 

Atem could be very forward, he knew that already, but he still wondered if he’d spell it out for him or just gloss over his words.

‘Something quiet… just you and me. Do you trust me to pick you up and take you somewhere?’ 

Oh, Atem wasn't going down the route he was…. He felt equally embarrassed and disappointed. He cleared his throat awkwardly and took a deep breath.

.....

Me: There will be no smut in this fic. Also me: Writes Atem being so very inappropriate at every opportunity and Yugi having such impure thoughts about him when he falls for it every time-

I have no idea when I'll finish this next chapter, please hang in there with me, life is a nightmare and work is so damn busy right now I don't have a lot of free time.

[gilear-core]

what podcasts have you dnf’d? or wish you dnf’d by the time you finished!!

(trying to figure out which shows are actually going to be worth my time)

ohh okay!!! obviously this is all a matter of my personal opinion, and if you love these shows I’m so happy they found their people!!!!

-Where the Stars Fell: I found both the main characters extremely annoying and dreadfully unlikable !! the worst part was the Trauma Competition scene of “my life was hard, no MY life was harder, well I’m disabled, oh yeah i’m disabled in this WORSE way, okay but my childhood was hard, no MY childhood was hard” it was just too much, i wish we learned these things more naturally and less transactionally (also that end of season one ‘twist’ was tough 😔…..)

-Weeping Cedars: This one was one of those spooky docu-dramas, that ended up going way too ‘documentary’ and not enough ‘drama’ (or spooks!! which is why I’m here!!)

-The Storage Papers: so I listened up to I think half way through season 3? my main issue was that the story seemed really confused, and I found the main VA’s voice annoying (not his fault! it’s just a little distracting) (also there was an episode where he basically said hitler & the nazis were all possessed by demons which was, yucky)

Ghosts in the Burbs: this is mainly because I do not like the anthology format, I typically binge my shows and and anthologies get really boring and exhausting for me! I especially didn’t care for the theme, which was 200 episodes of Rich, White, Suburban Moms in boston see ghosts (I am not very sympathetic to rich, white, suburban moms) (it was also basically the same five ghost stories over and over again)

The Penumbra Podcast: okay NO hate to penumbra, my main issue with it was that the main character makes out with like, everyone they meet, and the sound of kissing makes me want to literally peel my skin off! I also thought it was a little cheesy?? HOWEVER, I know that it’s cheesy, campy notes are very much beloved by its fandom!!

Ostium: this one hurt, because the first season was SO interesting and mysterious, and then the story just slowly drifted off into nonsense! I also really disliked the main female character (monica?) because it’s like they tried to write this STRONG and SENSUAL and POWERFUL and INDEPENDENT woman, and then produced an awful character who repeatedly sexually manipulates the main character (it’s okay though, they fall in love eventually so she didn’t do anything wrong! /s)

Archive 81: this one is widely beloved, but the first season was goddamn unbearable!! the voice acting was rough, the story is the SINGLE most confusing and lost thing i’ve ever heard, the main character wasn’t likable, and the ending was so predictable and boring!!!! (I legitimately had no idea it what was happening for the entire show and I still knew how it was going to end) (however!! the community says the second and third seasons are good and interesting, but I never had any desires to keep listening)

Honorable Mentions:

-Literally any PNW/PRA show (tanis, the black tapes, rabbits) somehow they will always end up being recommended but they are truly all an exhausting waste of time with poorly thought out twists and endings (if they even end at all 😔)

-Station 151: this is the only podcast i’ve given a one star review, it was so abysmal it made me physically and genuinely angry and had to stop working to rant about it to my beloved 😮‍💨

[doueverwonder]

👀

okay so I MAY have talked about this one before I don't remember BUT

AusHun human au, they live in Vienna at the beginning of the story Erzsébet is a kindergarten teacher, Roderich owns a tailor shop; they have four kids Liesl, Ludwig, Edith, and Franz.

The family is going through a tough time, the shop isn't doing well and Erzsébet's teaching salary can't cover everything, Liesl is about to graduate and is infatuated with the idea of taking over the family business, refusing to believe that it's going under. Ludwig got expelled from school for reasons I haven't decided yet. Edith is on the verge of getting kicked out bc she's a firecracker of a child who likes getting in fights and talking back to her teachers. Franz is really little and hasn't purposefully done anything, but he kinda set the story off by... being born? like they had only planned on two kids, and lived comfortably with two kids. They had Edith and were still okay, she was kind of a surprise but it was alright.

Then when Franz was born is was legitimate panic, the store had already been going down hill, and it was very much "one more person in this family and we will be barely scraping by"; they figure it out. Somehow. But by the time Franz is two there is no more figuring it out, or scraping by.

Roderich sold the shop without telling Erzsébet. Didn't tell anyone for that matter, packed everything up, handed over the keys to the storefront two days later. By that point in time it was just costing them money, better of selling it than trying to revive the business. She was reasonably mad at him, because you don't make those decisions without consulting your spouse first.

As if this all isn't enough I have more set up conflict; Roderich is Jewish, Erzsébet is Catholic. Both of their families are unfortunately not okay with that, and when they got married anyway both got disowned. Through an aunt or distant cousin that Erzí still talks to sometimes, it got back to Erzsébet's family that they were struggling financially. and in an asshole move her family came to her and said "If you divorce him, you can bring the kids and come live with us" She obviously laughed in their faces, called them idiots and quit contact with anyone she was still talking to.

Roderich's family's opinion was a little more complicated; bc Roderich's family had been nudging him in the direction of a certain girl since he was a teenager bc y'know helicopter parents who have to determine who is worthy of their son. He actually dating her, for three years, they ended up engaged. Four months into being engaged he met Erzsébet, a month later he called off the wedding. And like, where it gets complicated on Roderich's side is he could have been happy, he could have made it work with his former fiancee. But when he met Erzí he realized he could have a marriage where he didn't have to 'make it work'. His family was more mad at him for breaking off an engagement, the fact that Erzsébet wasn't Jewish was really just a cherry on top in the situation.

ANYWAY This does however open the gate for someone else to make an offer; Erzsébet's parents had divorced when she was very young like four years old. Her mother had disowned her when she married Roderich, and her father wasn't extremely present. They spoke once or twice every few weeks, he sent her birthday cards, he had seen plenty of pictures of his grandkids, but they weren't part of each others lives. He hears through snippets of things she says, and the grapevine that they're struggling, and says "Why don't you come live with me in Budapest?" she confirms he's serious (and has the room for six extra people) and then promises to talk to Roderich about it.

Long story short, they move to Budapest right before the new school year starts. I know that's all just backstory but the rest of the fic is kinda boring and not completely thought out yet. Liesl is out of school and figuring out being an adult in an entire new place than where she grew up, Ludwig is getting some stereotypical Coming Of Age lessons, Edith probably gets one of those 'troubled kid finds an outlet and is actually really good at it' arcs, Franz just chills and becomes his grandpas favorite. Roderich reopens his shop, Erzsébet gets to reconnect with her father (some very sappy scenes to follow). It's just a... the world was falling apart but we got through it and everything okay now.

[something-named-vexxie]

"Just finished crying, have decided I won’t let a stranger that knows nothing about me or the way I process things make me cry again ☝️

Yall will NEVER be playing with me its over 😈

#i say this and its bouta happen again just watch lmao#fuckin bullies bruh i should be immune to yall by now#9-10 years and not being used to it is insane!!!#this is a vent post#please ignore this"

i really dont think this is the right takeaway to have. you went to a post about jazz music, which was pioneered by black people, just to talk about a pop song made white people. its like trying to buy clothes at the soup store. imagine talking about rock music and someone mentions bach in the notes. a song wont be considered jazz Just because it uses a saxophone. theres more that goes into genre categorization. like a guitar or bass wont make something automatically a rock song obviously, no one deserves to get bullied and im sorry you cried and felt any sort of stress for what happened. but i dont think "fuck them haters" is the right takeaway to have in this specific situation. what happened was you missing the point of what OP said OP responded with "you dont have to interact with this post if youre going to say that." thats mild criticism, not bullying a better takeaway would be "oh, looks like i dont understand what jazz music is. i could do some research and listen to actual jazz music to get a better understanding." bc youd be learning from a mistake youve made. instead of something that sounds defensive as "wow OP knows NOTHING about me." i have RSD (a symptom of adhd), so criticism can be a tough pill to swallow sometimes. but learning to accept it will let you grow into a better person. if you want to listen to some jazz artists, i recommend ray charles, cab calloway, louis armstrong, ella fitzgerald, lena horne, billie holliday, dizzy gillespie, miles davis, and john coltrane. i hope you have a nice rest of the day :)

Oh shit my bad, thank you for this information, i didnt know it had anything to do with race. I see why it came across as offensive, I’m sorry about that

I still feel like OP could’ve been a bit nicer instead of just telling me to “Get a grip” with no further explanation. I could’ve probably thought it through and made a rational response, but I can’t do that most of the time, so I just assumed the quote I used was somehow secretly really rude when I was just trying to agree while apologizing for not knowing shit in the tags (and I was right on accident unfortunately, I’m sorry)

I was trying to figure out what was wrong but didn’t get anywhere, so I kinda dumbed it down to pure bitchery and put it with the other stuff I’ve dealt with and that’s on me. (I’m not gonna use any of this as an excuse, but I’d also like to say that specific post I made wasn’t specifically about OP, it was mostly a general thing I decided after reflecting for a bit that understandably looks bad with only 1 of 50 contexts, sorry)

Shoutout to whoever this observant anon is, I would’ve been up all night for years trying to figure out what I did wrong! Sorry about that jazzy OP. And I will happily check out those artists, thank you <3

Have a delectably nutriocios rest of your day too, sorry if my initial post made you uncomfortable or mad ^^

[aristobun]

@cmdrcuriosity

Hey as long as they are living in your imagination and in your heart I honestly can’t see you disappointing them.  They know your struggle and though I can’t speak for them, obviously, but they are probably pretty happy to just exist!  Like I have ideas and such to write about but due to physical pain or exhaustion it’s hard to keep focused.  My muses understand this.

I’d say to try and give writing a bit of a break buuuut I also know how long you’ve struggled with this and that advice is kind of “meh” for me as well.  Perhaps other activities to help engage your imagination?  I’d also suggest rp but nothing long but I don’t know how up for that you are.  RP isn’t as it used to be it seems and finding the right partner can be tough.  I had thought about trying to get back into the community for it but just how people are these days, you’d be the only one that I could honestly really work with.

As far as my stories go ehhhh see the problem is, I think they’re silly and it’s why I can’t write them.  It was a thing that I grew up with, being told that “OTHER girls write THOSE stories whereas YOU are ABOVE such silly things.”  And so I was shamed by my cult, teachers, even peers, for things like this.

I try to remember that as much as I possibly can, but sometimes I think it just gets me down and makes me feel like I’m slacking somehow. I always want to tell the stories I have in my head of them, but most days the energy to do so just isn’t available at all, in whatever way that may be. Sometimes it’s just a lack of joy for it, while other times it’s, like you, physical pain and exhaustion because one of my hands isn’t so good these days and tends to ache pretty fast if I type too much, so I take more frequent breaks but they turn into days and weeks at a time and that makes me feel down and out, ‘cause I feel I’m not pushing myself hard enough.

Yea, I keep telling myself a break is needed and maybe when coming back to it afterward, I’ll find the same joy I used to have, but I think I’ve taken too long a break now, as you alluded to, ‘cause I have been dealing with that block for way too long. I think it’s mostly just the physical aspects of the struggle, more than the brainpower needed to get the writing done. It’s harder to type without 100% from both of my hands ‘cause I end up relying heavily on one more so and that in itself just makes me want to type as little as possible. I gotta figure out a solution somehow ‘cause I really miss writing stories so bad :/

RP is one I keep trying to encourage myself to creep back into and over the months I’ve made posts over there saying ‘ I’m back ‘ and basically vanishing again a day or two after those posts were made :’) so I’m not sure that one is something I can tackle either right now. I would love to, but I think the thing keeping me from rping on that account specifically these days is the people who want attention from my muses, not because I’ve had fallings out with them or anything, far from it, but because there’s just so many people who message me the second I’m online over there and it drains me and pushes me away from wanting to interact with them. It’s through no fault of theirs, though, I just don’t have that same energy to give for rp anymore, at least while I am still dealing with physical struggles that make me more tired much faster.

I think if I made a secret rp account to spend time on, aside from that one, and tell only a handful of people about it and make it completely private to only those people for interactions, I could find a lot of joy in writing my muses that way. My closest friends bring that ability out in me all the time so it may be an easier route to take. I may actually do that over the coming week and see how it goes for me :) see if anything improves creativity wise.

And that is not good at all! if you don’t mind my asking, if you’re okay discussing the stories, what are the topics you’re wanting to write about that you feel people will judge you for? I’ve kinda lost that aspect over time which is one good thing, but the struggle to write means I can’t even write what I wanna write, regardless of what others think :’) can’t win really. What are the stories you have in mind that you’re having a hard time getting down and sharing because of others?

idk why it’s taking me so many days to write two drabbles but it’s completely driving me insane 🙃