#and those are like. unrealistic friendship expectations ykwim lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

goldlightsaber · 3 months ago

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ik people talk about romantic relationships taking on a mythic quality in media/fiction but tbh friendships do too. like dude, i wish i had friends i felt super close to that i know would fight for our friendship and that i felt comfortable enough calling crying in a crisis. i wish i had those "do or die" friends that we see in so many popular stories we consume growing up. i have actually been very disappointed by my experiences of friendships. the amount of people i lose touch with or have cold breakups with. it doesn't devastate me in a dramatic way like heartbreak, but it moreso gives me this low-grade cynicism and depression about life and how no one stays, there was no real love here, etc.

#like i'm pretty scarred in this low-level way by the scars of lost friendships or friendship conflicts #it's not front of mind every day. and i don't talk about it much. but it is THERE #i have a good childhood friend thank god but like. even in our friendship i sometimes feel kind of insecure and whether we're as tight knit #as i feel we should be #meanwhile we grew up with h*rry p*tter (sorry) and percy jackson etc etc #and those are like. unrealistic friendship expectations ykwim lol #even watching sex and the city i'm like 👀 this bitch has THREE do or dies who she sees regularly? i'd settle for one being nearby #like where is that strong bond of love i'm supposed to have with a few girlfriends? why don't i have that? it breaks my heart #this isn't to say close friends are a myth ofc i know other people have them but i certainly don't have the kind i keep hearing about #and sometimes i wish i could tell ppl i used to be friends w but i'm also like. they don't seem to be fighting for this friendship either s #you can only have your attempts at closeness rejected so many times #text

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