#and this phone im on rn is temporary

[toxicyeuriii]

Guys my phone blew up

[cosmic-ships]

I was so mentally done yesterday I fell asleep at 10pm and proceeded to have the worse sleep ever. It's now 6am and I am exhausted.

F/O please comfort me 💔 everything sucks rn

[rigels-nigels]

Girl help I've acquired possibly yet another expensive hobby

[nurseydexunsolved]

guys i was so productive at work today i feel like i’m on crack (<-took her meds and actually had a goal to work towards)

[yoshistory]

i really fuckin hate my current roommate situation for multiple reasons. one of which is due to him deciding to quit her job immediately after i moved down here i had to be the only leaseholder with a secret roommate situation. and now. their gate system is changing and uses an app to open the gate with a verified occupant's phone number. fuuuuck im like banging my head against the wall

[frankenstheythem]

charger port just broke at 18 percent its klilling myslelf time

[revolutionarywig]

Frev locations compile

Thought of compiling a list of frev significant locations so it can help with recommendations for anyone who happens to be travelling/visiting! This is only done to my knowledge and not a complete list, please feel free to suggest if you happen to know more locations that I completely missed!

so here is the frev pilgrimage list! Long post warning.

(Note: The items are not in any particular order)

(Note: I typed this post up a long time ago but couldn't finish, a lot of thanks to the people who helped out on contributing information and your patience with me.)

Musée Carnavalet (Paris)

This one is very obvious, it is a must go for seeing a collection of frev related artifacts and paintings, including Couthon’s wheelchair, Robespierre’s hair, the most iconic portraits etc. Also its FREE.

Panthéon (Paris)

You can see the statue of the National Convention deputies. It doesnt have too much related to frev directly, but Rousseau and Voltaire (and Carnot…..) are interred there

La Conciergerie (Paris)

If you want to see the Deseine bust of Robespierre, but cant go to Vizille, there is a copy of it here within Paris at the conciergerie. It is the place where most frev figures as well as Antoinette spent their last monents.

Musée des archives nationales (Paris)

(June 2023) There is a temporary exhibit featuring frev rn which I highly recommend (also its free to go so like GO)

But beyond the temporary exhibit, I believe there are still a few things in permanent collection (Robespierre’s note book page, Antoinette’s last letter in prison, Comte d’Artois’ letter etc), including the famous 9 thermidor table that Robespierre supposedly lied on. the museum is free to visit.

Père la Chaise (Paris)

@robespapier wrote a better post on navigating the cemetery. It helped me so much with finding the graves of Lebas, Elisabeth and Eleonore Duplay! Thank you so much for the guide!

Rue Saint Honoré (Paris)

the current address of the Duplays household is 398 rue saint-honoré, which is now next to a louboutin store…. There is a commemorative plaque there indicating Robespierre’s residence there. Im not sure about going inside the residence….There was construction when I visited and the door was open, heres how it looks on the inside.

SJ’s bust (Paris & Angers)

I have not visited either of the two locations yet, but you can find that white bust of Saint-Just (that seemed to be modelled after the pastel portrait in the Carnavalet) in either Petit Palais (Paris) or Galerie David d’Angers (Angers). @orpheusmori has posted some Petit Palais pictures here @robespapier has posted some Galerie David d'Angers pictures here

Marat sign (Paris)

i have an image of this plaque sitting on my phone, I forgot where it was located until @orpheusmori helped me track the location of it! It is in the Odéon area and should be in the small narrow street with the back side of Le Procope. It commemorates the location as an important area during the French Revolution as well as the place where Marat established his printing shop.

The front of the same building also has another Marat plaque! I didnt know about it before thank you @orpheusmori for finding and contributing the photo! This one is above an Jewellery store (Amour de Pierres) https://maps.app.goo.gl/8X9zgKYpMiLJcULq7

Olympe de Gouges sign (Paris)

Once again, i have a photo of the plaque proving its existence, but I took it years ago and i dont remember where it was exactly.... It was all in the Odéon area, it shouldn’t be too far from the other….

Danton statue (Paris)

there is a Danton statue! Right outside the Odéon metro! You cant miss it. Also the placement of the statue is where he once lived.

Procope (Paris)

Its a really old cafe frequented by a lot of philosophes as well as many frev figures. There is also a bicorn from Napoleon inside. Right now its still a restaurant establishment, and its difficult to visit unless you eat inside….which is expensive…. However ! This whole general Odéon area is full of other frev landmarks (some more mentioned below). Including the metro station which has a bust of Danton.

Versailles revolutionary room (Versailles)

Beyond the royal family, there is a room dedicated to a lot of major Revolutionary Army generals and battles. Theres that one painting of Lafayette if u into that

Musée des armes/Invalides (Paris)

It has a significant collection of military artefacts from the French Revolution and its a really good resource for armory researches. The museum also has a sword that belonged to Lafayette, as well as a sword belonging to Carnot during the Directoire (image below)

Louvre

The Louvre does not have a lot relating to the French Revolution but it has a few significant paintings and a lot of David’s work. One of the Death of Marat copies produced by David’s studio should be in the museum, as well as a painting featuring the battke of fleurus (with SJ cameo)

Tennis court (Versailles)

Near the palace of Versailles you can find the room where the deputies swore the famous oaths. It is free to enter, although last time I went it was undergoing construction, hopefully it should have finished by now.

Musée de la Révolution Française (Vizille)

If you can go to Vizille… GO TO VIZILLE! The easiest way by transport would be to stay at Grenoble then take one of the buses that runs between Grenoble and Vizille. It is a whole museum dedicated to the revolution (and it is free) and the park is really pretty. This is where you can find the statue of Marat,

The Deseine busts including dear Bonbon,

And DJ Saint-Just.

Also special thank you to @citizentaleo for taking me there, I would’ve otherwise been lost in the French mountains lol, thank you!

Maison Robespierre (Arras)

You can visit Robespierre’s residence in Arras. It is possible to visit the inside, but it has a very specific and short opening hours.

I wasn’t able to go in since I was only in Arras for a few hours….But I got to attend a conference by Hervé Leuwers aaa (He is very sweet and I learned quite few new things from the presentation, but thats post for another day)

Robespierre metro stop (Paris suburb)

There is in fact, a Robespierre metro station on line 9! Not much beyond name but at least some credit to him! Alas it is not exactly within Paris and just on the outskirt. (Oh and there is also Voltaire)

Cordeliers club (Paris)

I dont have much information on what happened to the original location of the Cordeliers club and how it was modified, but the location is part of the sorbonne campus now i believe. I'd be very curious if anyone knows more information on this.

Place de la Bastille (Paris)

The Bastille is of course not there anymore, but the ground around the square and including the metro stations near by have traces/marks of where the old prison would have stood.

(and yea the picture was taken during a manif)

Pavillon de flore (Paris)

The pavillon attached to the Louvre and next to the Pont Royale is the Pavillon de Flore, which is where the Committee de Salut Publique worked.

Jacobin club (Paris) Alas the original convent in which the Jacobin gathered is no more and replaced by a commercial centre instead (Passage de Jacobins) . There is a sign however recognizing the place for what it was.

Place de la Concorde (Paris) Originally Place de la Révolution, there is a plaque remembering the executions that took place here near the obelisk.

Maison SJ (Blérancourt) I have not been to Saint-Just's house yet, because it is very hard to commute there without a car. But it certainly is still there and (I believe) maintained by the Saint-Just Association.

Catacombs (Paris) According to wikipedia....The bone remains of many revolutionaries buried in Cimitière Errancis (which has a plaque indicating it in the 8th arrondissement, according to wikipedia) are transferred to the catacombs, including Robespierre, Danton, etc. The catacomb is roughly organized chronologically but there is obviously no sign indicating which bone it actually is.

Cluny La Sorbonne station (Paris) It is on metro line 10 and the waiting tunnel is decorated with signatures of prominent French figures. It doesn't have any actual frev artifacts, but it looks cool and you can spot Robespierre, Danton, and Camille Desmoulins' signatures on the ceiling.

Louis le Grand (Paris) The school that Robespierre attended is still under the same name and still in use as a school! (i've reached the image maximum alas i cannot add more images...)

And that is all I can think of so far! There is surely a lot more that are out there (including outside of France). Once again, please feel free to mention if you know more frev landmarks that I missed out on. And to whoever happens to be travelling I hope you find this list helpful to start with.

[hiebies]

if i could hold you for a minute (i would do it again)

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ | desc; this is me coping with jjk 236

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ | pairings; gojo -> x gn!reader

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ | mlist

familiarity breeds contempt- or, it would, if the familiarity wasn’t the only thing keeping the contempt away. an ugly shadow, something disfigured and maimed; grief. the apartment is clean, routine still carefully in place, even on a day that feels impossible- days that feel impossible are common, but this one makes all the other impossible days seem ridiculous.

inside this clean space are things out of place- a ‘World’s Best Teacher’ mug sat on the coffee table. an empty packet of strawberry flavoured chewing gum, metallic wrapper crunched and discarded to the side. a broken pair of circular sunglasses rest on the edge of the table, well loved and well worn.

“—said not to, but i just couldn’t resist! so i bought another bag of the frozen berries and I’ll just make room in the freezer!” the voicemail ends, a lilt to the end tone of the voice and a laugh that sounds more like a cackle. the phone in hand beeps, then asks to replay or delete the message.

fingers tap at the screen, pressing a number to play the message again. every movement is mechanical, familiarity bleeding like an open wound, the space staying exactly the same, unchanging. a temporary salve over a gaping wound, stitched together by barbed wire and sealed over with duct tape.

a body sat on a couch, accompanied by the imprint of another; still. just a body, moving through familiar motions or things that had been, but no longer are. the voicemail starts over again.

“hi baby! you didn’t pick up before, so i thought i’d do you the honour of hearing my voice like this instead- isn’t that great? i’m out at the moment—”

and eventually, it ends again too, leaving only silence.

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ | notes; i feel like i had my kidney cut out with a rusty spork. when did i get so fond of him im actually ill. how do i tell my teachers that i can’t pay attention to the class because i’m grieving over a fictional character. this was very self indulgent & i wanted to do something but i have such low energy rn :’) tldr; gege, when i catch you gege.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ hiebies 2023 ©

[bomberqueen17]

oops

lol yet again i missed doing my friday update schedule. in my defense, a lot's been going on. before I say anything else I should also say-- DMs on Tumblr currently do not work for me, the message thing shows me the preview but if I click on it, I absolutely cannot open the window, it will hang for literal days. I have the square blank in the corner of this tab as I am composing and no longer remember what I was trying to get it to open. So if you send me an IM on Tumblr I will only be able to read whatever of it is in the preview! So don't be offended if I never respond, because I can't write back because the window literally never opens. I got one to open yesterday but it was about 45 minutes and a lot of window reloading. I think it's safe to say that feature's just gotta be dead to me. RIP.

Anyway what's been up! my BFF from high school came thru Thursday night with her kids to stay in my cabin and i was a bit frantic getting the place ready, as it's not exactly listed on AirBnB. (She was like "oh wow this is a lot bigger and nicer than i thought" girl you were going to cram your children and yourself into a tiny half-finished shack with me? what??? jeez) and at the last minute Dude was like "oh i'm coming too" which, fortunately, I had put myself into a full-size bed on the pull-out couch so there was room for him to be there too but if this were any smaller a tiny house that would not have been possible. see, this is why i didn't actually build a tiny tiny house, it wouldn't have worked.

Anyway they left friday and i spent the day making sausage as fast as i could, and then in the afternoon dude helped me package it and then! i had! two full days! off! (ok i'm in the second of those days rn) so

saturday being My Birthday I made a snap decision that we were going to go see some art, so we drove over to the Clark Institute in Williamsburg MA (like a long half-hour away, it's not far) and saw some of my good buddies in the permanent collection.

(Mom used to take us kids there when we were little, and there are a lot of Renoirs and John Singer Sargent and some Frederic Rembrandt and Winslow Homer and whatnot, many of which I have seen so often as to consider old friends. (This Bougereau, Mom had a poster of on her bedroom wall, and I have always loved it. Apparently, my grandpa upon seeing it-- not the letters grandpa, the other one-- exclaimed of the one whose back faces the viewer "Oh Betty, it's you!" Betty being my grandma.)

I discovered quite by accident, while fucking around on my phone, that there was a Pokestop out in the courtyard, and the Pokestop was titled something about Jenny Holtzer, and i was like wait what and sure enough. There's a set of four white granite benches out there with Jenny Holtzer engravings on them.

This one is fucking brutal, as her shit tends to be:

[image description: a white granite bench engraved with the following text, somewhat darkened by pooled rainwater: "BY YOUR REPONSE TO DANGER IT IS EASY TO TELL HOW YOU HAVE LIVED AND WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO YOU YOU SHOW WHETHER YOU WANT TO STAY ALIVE, WHETHER YOU THINK YOU DESERVE TO, AND WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT'S ANY GOOD TO ACT."]

There was also a temporary exhibition of paintings and woodcuts/lithographs/prints by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch, yes including a lithograph of That Painting. Fairly stunning! Running thru October, I recommend it if you're in the area!

ok idk what else has been happening. i am so tired. i might play some pokey mans today but i also might just. not. really. do much of anything. which is boring and dumb and won't make me feel better next week when i have to go back and do more work and have achieved none of my personal goals. but sometimes brain no worky, and that's that.

[nameforthemain]

peppepeppep :) ITSSS YOURRR BIRTHDAYYY :)) hihi i love you with literally all of my heart and soul!!!! i know this message is a lil short and i wanna apologize for that (pls pls pls blame the spiders and centipedes i literally am fighting for my life rn and i have the new cut on my leg to prove it!! the lil guy is ME and i am SUFFERING)

but its your birthday and im so so so happy to celebrate another birthday with you!! and i also think we actually recently hit two years of being friends which is literally the coolest thing in the world bc YOURE the coolest in the world <3 but i love you so so very much and i think youre actually one of the bestest people ever (even if you support the wrong team with the blue in its colours ((barçabarçamapimapi)) i love you and your unwavering dedication to the wrong team :])

but all jokes aside i will from now until the 18th of may be supporting the blue team with you even tho i prefer red and blaugrana <33 just bc your love of this team is super inspiring and ill always appreciate how loyal you are to it!!! (played as chelsea in fifa for you and we won very hard against real madrid 🤭🤭) the blue is in fact actually also the correct blue tbh (i played on a team with that blue and my fav number to play with and it was my favourite team so itll always be the best blue <3) even if i poke fun at you 🤭

i hope to be here for many many more years to further your exposure to all the mapi content i can find in the hopes to attach you to mapi via bluetooth!! (on spotify theres this way you can attach your phone to multiple sets of headphones to listen with others and i feel you should be like the phone in that case where you can use your bluetooth to connect to two pairs of headphones)

anywho i love you with my entire heart and i hope you have the absolute bestest day and remember how much i love and appreciate you!!!! <333

~ezra/ete/hilhil

hilhil please do not apologise for this being short because it is definitely not that 😭😭 THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND ALL OF YOUR MESSAGES TODAY SO MUCH <3333

honestly the wildest part of my birthday every year is remembering I met most of my closest friends here (and joined the Jeff cult) when I was 19. And now I'm 22 that age feels so so long ago but I'm eternally grateful that I still have you and other friends from back then and we're still talking just the same 2/3 years later :))) and I just love you very very much <333

CHELSEA CHELSEA CHELSEA. 22 years to the day of supporting the correct team, and correct blue team and for sure that will never change 😌 thank you for joining me with your temporary support and for smashing real madrid on my behalf 💙💙

but yes yes, here's to many more years 🥳🥳 where I will definitely be inundated with mapi content even if I already like mapi (but will always support Chelsea more 🤭) and many more years of getting to talk with you and call you my friend 🥰

love you loads and loads forever hilhil <333

[melissa-s23]

Yo,

1. Job markets ass, when using 3rd party job sites like indeed never apply on the app itself! Go to the source, find the actual job posting. Write a cover letter….. yea I know it’s tragic but it’s a good boost. There’s templates on google but I think the general formula is one paragraph expressing interest, body about your qualifications (basically regurgitate your resume, squeeze in key terms specific to the job) final paragraph can be a quick little personal tid bit but usually it’s a send off. Make sure everything is a live file!!! No! Jpegs!!!!!

If you’re still in school, network. I did not do this and I probably should have

2. Girlie pop if you go out to eat at all highly recommend taking as many left overs as possible and repurposing them. For now, bread, butter, cinnamon, sugar. Toast the bread till gold, spread butter, add sugar and cinnamon,A treat. (Separate)Fry an egg on the bread. Add avocado to be basic for fun!pepper flakes for spice. When I was in college I used to eat dried cereal and watch fancy YouTube food video so I could trick my brain into thinking I was eating something real lol.

3. :-( your relationship post made me sad. I’m sorry. You need more media that frames the woman as a person rather than a prop! I know the feeling 😩 being ace puts you in a weird spot sometimes….but remember you are more than the media you and others consume! Also that last part……girlie watch the the soccer cannibalism show get on that RN!!!!! (Yellowjackets go watch Yellowjackets it’s flawed but it’s about flawed women outside the male gaze)

It’ll be ok lol, most things are temporary.

-ghost anon

Hey, thank you for this very kind message! I didn't expect such a quick and constructive response, thank you!

1: I don't know how you figured out I am looking for a job, but as of last week you are absolutely correct! The telepath allegations are not beaten today fjzkrkv

Thanks for the advice! And yeah, I need to send mails and phone calls and it's TIRING but eh, we roll.

2: This is very clever, and that cinamon one I'll definitetly keep in mind. Cooking is definitely an area im lacking in and improvising meal is not something I do easily, so having 3 to 4 'meals' for when you have 0 spoons for cooking is deffo something that will be useful to me. Cinammon toast!

3: yeah, i wrote this post while tired and frustrated. Thankfully the tides are changing at least a bit in that regard and we are seeing more variety. Still, I hope we get more shows where the friendship is front and center and challenged and explored a- I LIKE FRIENDSHIPS!! I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE ARE FRIEND AND FIND MEANING IN THAT TITLE!! Anyway yeah, It's good to remember real life very much isn't like medias. People are good, and we gotta believe in that.

(And ooh, I might check it out then! Thanks for the rec!)

[roteitbad]

back to my sagau roots

VILLAIN SAGAU JUST COZ

Cw // typos grammar (typing on phone rn and while eng is my second first langguage im still a bit stupid with it)

This is gonna be heavily based of what i feel is villany and evil so ehe(in other words me in the villain sagau au)

There wre many wonderful villain sagau au concepts but my favorite has to be the not even creator mc but gains the favor of the creator anyways

LIKE ITS SO GOOD I EAT THAT SHIT UP AND THERES NOT EVEN A LOT OF THEM

but anyways for better understanding think of it as ure the pitiful always burdened last choice employee in ur workplace and you do something really good that ur boss is suddenly interested and promotes u HIGH UP

So with that context....

-

Walking around teyvat was something (name) never really got to do since they got here. With every nation's leader and their forces trailing them, it was hard to stay at one pace or lower. Slowing down only meant they are catching up, so they had to keep going.

The painful days of starvation, frustration, and question were not days that (name) can lightheartedly recollect. So when the creator asked them to mention everyone that comitted sin against them. All they could do was wail and soil the creator's clothes.

Remembering it all was painful. It was as if they were brought back to those moments. Yet, slowly and painfully, (name) starts to list down people and their actions against them through hiccups and screams. All while the acolytes listen in in horror, and the creator comforts (name).

The believers did not do as the creator wished. They acted on their own castle of lies all because they believed it is what's best. They ignored the morals the creator bestowed upon them in the name of honor, when it was them that sullied the creator's name. For that, a punishment is needed, and who else should order their punishment other than the one who suffered most because of their idiocy, the victim of the circus.

"What should their divine punishment be, (name)? You should know that i won't let you give them a punishment that is too light. Whatever it is you want to do with them, it shall be done."

The creator speaks the truth to (name). Handing them the power and authority that other can only dream of achieving.

Even after calming down, (name) wants nothing more than to scream and hurt them as much as they hurted, but they knew that that was only a temporary solution. So what could be the best way for them to get their revenge?

(name) speaks

"I.. I want to be with you. I want to be with you in a way that nobody else can. So that they may see us, and remember their mistake forever."

It was a simple command, but as seen on the faces of the acolytes. It proved to be effective.

The acolytes, wished that the creator believe this to be a ridiculous punishment, but once they looked up to see the smile on their face. They knew it was a futile wish.

"How merciful you are, (name). Well, you heard them. You scums should know that we shall be on our way. If one tries to object, i will personally give their punishment."

-

pt2

OH MY FUCKING GOD TUMBLR DELETED THE LAST EDIT OF THIS I HATE- AAAAA

anyways continuing in pt2 cuz i lacked idea midway and this gave me so much technical problems so best i end it here. Ill get to the reason why the creator likes (name) and the aftermath in the second part

[atsuwiee]

how enhypen would comfort you after having a bad day!

lol i'm not having the best day of my life rn so i thought of this wie woo,, anyways enjoy! (spacing kinda messed up bcs im on my phone) B))

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

heeseung

– when he sees the look on your face once you get home he knows something is wrong

– will ask how your day went, and you reply with a sigh

– “just– a bad day, heeseung”

“do you want to tell me about it over some ramen? at least that could make you feel better”

– indeed, ramen fixes everything

– is all ears when you tell him how shitty your day was

– if you asked for hugs then he'll gladly give them to you

– “this day didn't go well, but it doesn't mean tomorrow will too. better days are coming y/n :) ”

jay

– notices that your aura was different

– will ask you to take a sit beside him and tell him what's wrong

– listens attentively

– tries to cheer you up by cooking (yesyes)

– but if you don't want any food and just want him by your side that's fine for him too

– probably will give you forehead kisses after you say your day went bad

– “this day is temporary– it's going to pass”

“and if it doesn't?”

“y/n– if tomorrow is a bad day, it doesn't mean it'll stay like that the next day– just believe that better days are coming”

jake

– at first he didn't really know the best approach

– when he came home, your expression wasn't the usual one

– he sees you laying on the couch so he sits right next to it

– thinks your sleeping since your eyes were closed- not until he brushed your hair and you open your eyes

– “may i ask what's wrong?”

“just a bad day”

“do you want cuddles?”

– if you say yes the he'll cuddle with you, but if you don't want to it's alright

– “this day may not be the best– but i assure you the next day will”

sunghoon

– he notices that you weren't having a good day since you went straight to your room

– as he comes in he'll ask what's wrong and sit with you on the bed

– “bad day, hm?”

“yeah”

“tomorrow will be better, i promise”

– if you want him to stay with you longer then he will

– but if you want alone time, he'll give it to you

– gives you forehead kisses as well

sunoo

– “can you hold me for a bit?” you ask as you greeted sunoo with a back hug

– sunoo is surprised but he turns around to wrap his arms around you

– when you say you had a bad day he'll kiss the top of your head

– cheers you up with food hehe

– listens to you if you tell him how your day went

– “everyone had their fair shares of bad days, y/n– but it doesn't mean good days don't come too”

jungwon

– asks if you're day went well

– since he noticed your expression had changed when you arrived home

– “just had a bad day, jungwon”

“you know this is just for a day– cheer up! tomorrow will be better, y/n”

– listens to you when you tell him about your day

– if you want cuddles he'll cuddle with you

– gives you some advice if you needed/wanted some

ni-ki

– thinks you're mad at him since you were staying silent even when he arrived home

– but will muster up the courage to ask why you're silent

– you apologize for it and say that you just had a really rough day

– listens and tries to give advice to cheer you up

– “today is today– but tomorrow will be different, and it's definitely not going to be like this”

[radiorenjun]

Grand announcement ❗❗❗

Yep you read that right and no this is not a joke, unfortunately.

Honestly is it that much of a surprise?

Um I don't know when I'm actually going to post this or if I will post this considering I've been debating on whether i should actually take time off of not. But depending on the date I post this, its either going to be one of two reasons or both.

LETS GO WITH THE POSITIVE ONE FIRST SHALL WE?

First of all, Happy Ramadan! My maids going back to her old village for the holidays so I'm going to have to assist my parents in babysitting more til she gets back. Therefore I will be too busy to post or update. Or maybe my parents plan an unexpected vacation or something and I'll be too busy to communicate with anyone on my phone.

Edit: I take it back my mom fired her when she caught some cigarette ashes in her room today (my maid went back to her village yesterday btw) and now we gonna get a temporary one that comes and goes everyday at the end of Ramadan LMFAOOO more chores for me then

Also, im posting this to just inform everyone I'll be okay and I'll return somewhere in the end of May or the beginning of June considering I promised a few moots to voice call then. Man, it feels weird speaking all serious like this. It feels even weirder that I'm not even using capslock lmfao.

Okay the other reason. Im not really thrilled to think that it's finally drove me up so far i have to take a break from everything.

If you can't tell from how I've been on and off lately uh like my mental health is getting bad. Like really really bad?

I won't go into much details but for safety stuff here's your trigger warning for ED, SH, Depression, Nightmares, etc. If you don't want to read this part you can scroll down until you see some random red statement I'll write later so you can see what I have to say before i leave.

Uh okay where do I start. To sum it all up basically, my mental health is in absolute ruins? At the moment?? Uh... It's been the worst it has been in the past three to four years? I don't know anymore. I can't sleep properly because I keep having nightmares of past su1c1d3 attempts and the outcome of actually succeeding. I can't eat properly anymore. My SH habits and my anxiety is coming back (every beginning of every month though so it wasn't as bad as way way when this started) and I trying my best to stop it again. I'm almost a month clean but I doubt that I can last more than that again because everything seems to get worse and worse. I cry myself to sleep because of my thoughts being so fucked up. I tried coming forward with this so many times to my parents and my teachers but they won't believe me, i can't do anything anymore except try to get better by myself. I can't bring myself to communicate with anyone anymore knowing full well that the only thing that's keeping me alive at this moment is socializing. I keep having flashbacks of when older men stalked me everywhere I went in the past. I lie awake knowing that nothing can bring me comfort except seeing that one idol who you all probably know by now. Im literally depending on him to keep me together during the day it's not even funny anymore lmfao.

I have to do endless chores, deal with all of this at once, catch up on two semesters worth of materials for my new school, deal with my graduation ceremony which is coming around this month or next month? Somehow I developed some type of anger issues the past year so haha that's great yuh no.

To stop you from worrying, no, I don't have suicidal tendencies anymore but I don't exactly have something to be thrilled living for. I'm just vibin in life at this point lmao

I'm just tired. I'm really really tired. Id lie awake crying my eyes out while listening to renjun voice audios. I'm tired of crying all the time and I'm tired of everything. Im tired of laying in bed overthinking and stressing bout things that wouldnt normally bother as much. I promise I won't do anything stupid

I won't be gone long. I'm not okay at the moment but I will be. Because at the end i need to be okay again. I'm giving myself time to heal again before something gets bad. I promise I'll come back from time to time. I promise I'll be okay again and I'll come back as that happy hyper renjun simp who swears and uses capslock, spamming memes or whatever.

I'm not comfortable opening up about anything that goes beyond too sad in my life so I'm just going to leave it at that

You can stop scrolling now. The triggering part is over.

Thank you for all the moots who decided to cheer me up unknowingly whenever I was having a mental breakdown. Thank you for reading up to here lmfao uh I don't know what to say? God Im a mess.

Dms on both tumblr and discord will be pretty slow. I'm sorry but I'll reply to my asks like a day or two after they're sent. I won't be posting much until June and I'm truly sorry for those who were waiting for the last chapter of idni, im taking this chance to also rethink the ending so I can somehow make it better than I originally planned it literally a year ago.

Damn broken English 101.

As I said before, I'll be okay when I get back. I'll be the happy hyper angie I always was and always will be when I return. I don't know when I'll post this but hopefully I don't haha. You don't have to be worried about me, this happened before and I always come back okay again. I'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back in a month.

Do what yall do and don't forget to tag me whenever you post any renjun fics haha. I'll miss you all, don't forget about me okay? Haha.

I'll be looking forward to writing again and hopefully I'll be mentally and physically healthy then. Hopefully I'll have my motivation in writing back again by then. I'll try my best to commit into getting better and being happy. Plus I wanna start an sm au but rn it doesn't seem very likely haha

I'll be contacting my networks bout this as soon as I post this.

Thank you and see you all later

[kissesandcream]

I am in class and I am borEDD so hi deep, I want to talk abt genshin HSDJH my friends in discord aren't online and I am ✨lonely✨ SO ANYWAYS, I TOOK THIS SCREENSHOT LIKE 2 DAYS AGO and I am very happy abt it even though I used food buffs and a pyro potion <33 cant wait until I get her to lvl90 but I told myself to level up her talents to lvl8 first before I ascend, also can I talk abt how much primo vishap drops I need for her???? I literally need 20 so that vishap took so much of my resin <//3 but I only need 4 more drops to ascension so thats fine BUT STILL, the talents <//3 I have 100+ energy nectars all for hu tao and mona so I only need those purple books, but then again I only have 1 purple diligence book atm so im gonna use all of my resin again :(( also I just realized the quality of the picture bye, why is the compression so bad ALSO ALSO im planning to post a drawing of mine someday😳 it's a xiao drawing I made for a friend and I think it's cute, but I am nervous and excited at the same time hsdfg I've never really posted my art on public but yes I just wanted to let you know bcuz why not hmngmshdg anyways sorry for the random ramble, class is boring today and I am bored AND my last ask to you wasn't an essay so this is here to also make up for that, I might as well be called the essay anon ngl but I like '🐚 anon' since it has sentiment WAIT WE'RE DOING RECITATION HOLD ON, BYE LUV TAKE CARE AND GL ON MIDTERMS <33

DAYUM THATS SOME DAMAGE

i gave myself one week to make yanfei useful and she does 4k at best <//3 i cba to build dodoco tales for her even though it's probably better than whatever she's on rn but.

NO LITERALLY SHE NEEDS SO MUCH OF THOSE,,,,, the boss fight isnt the vishap it's getting to the vishap,,, DO U KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I GOT LOST TRYING TO FIND IT ITS EMBARRASING

in the end i set up a temporary waypoint but then i kept forgetting to teleport away and so when i logged in its just liyue battle music and angry chonk rock intensify

ey i cant wait to see ur art!! im sure it looks amazing its xiao afterall 😤 i post my art on insta but im rarely ever on there bc i dont have a phone and u cant post on pc so i'll have to wait some months before i give that account some more love <///3 pspsps self promo everyone go look at my ig @kissesand_cream kjnhJHG

DONT APOLOGIZE FOR URE RAMBLES PLS class do be like that and i love talking to u <333 ur middle name can be essay, 🐚 'essay' anon has a ring to it 😌

i hope u had fun at rehearsal!! ill try to last the week through midterms :,)

[igarbagecannoteven]

10, 12, 13, 14, 30 whew i had to do that from memory bc im on my phone rn bro i am so excited to sleep. i love sleep can't wait to do it. might have some saltines WAIT I BOUGHT CHEESE STICKS TODAY OH YOU KNOWWWW ITS ABOUT TO BE A PARTY UP IN ROOM 1 anyway those are my soft questions for you enjoy them i will be eating a cheese stick while you answer these probably maybe xoxo bella

cheese sticks!!!! so glad you were finally able to get some i hope they're extra yummy <3

10. what's something you're excited for? i'm going to my first real concert this month so that's exciting! i'm also excited for the possible roadtrip i may be going on this month altho tbh i'm not sure if that's happening (cross your fingers kids.) also also i'm trying to gather up the courage to ask my mom if i can borrow her car one late night so i can go highway driving with the windows down so! potentially exciting song-screaming coming up

12. how are you? i'm doing alright! my tide went out completely earlier today which basically means i got to the point where i had zero energy to do anything/talk to anyone bc i've had to be around other people i don't usually live with a lot the past,, idk (time is fake) but i was able to recharge and now i'm doing better. still kinda emotionally exhausted but definitely on the uptrend :))

13. what's your comfort food? chicken tikka masala and what my family calls "christmas pasta" which is pasta made with spinach (i think? it's not enough to taste it) and red sauce (that's how it got its name, bc it's green and red) (we're extremely original i know)

14. favorite feel-good show? derry girls is a good one! it's very funny but also feels rather,, solid? if that makes sense? idk it's just a good show :))

30. what reminds you of home (doesn't have to mean house... just things that remind you of the feeling of home) i'm extremely lucky in that i have multiple places/people that feel like home so i'm just gonna rattle some things off let's go: the smell of low tide, real holly leaves not the fake christmas decorations, threadbare couches, the temporary fences they put around sea turtle nests, chicken tikka masala, tall and messy bookshelves, 'gotta get out' by 5sos, twix bars, extra long twin bedsheets, sunsets, laying in the grass under trees that don't have super thick foliage, inside a k-12 school when it's closed but in the daytime, beanbags that have fake fur patterns esp snow leopard-y ones, when people hold their hair up in a bun with multiple writing utensils, antm, uprooted trees where the entire root system was ripped out of the ground and left a large hole next to it, 'the music man' but not the newer movie version, 'summertime' from porgy and bess, little white wildflowers, the nats, and many more