#and this paul dude WOW WHAT BEAUTY

[dollarbin]

A Shakey Sandy Monday:

Jackson C. Frank's You Never Wanted Me

I'm on a big deal vacation; there are no kids; there are no students; Joe Biden is not fumbling; Trump cannot be heard. And the sun is beginning to descend over the ocean.

It's awesome.

So let's mix it up and honor Sandy and Shakey in one random ass post...

We covered Sandy's relationship with Jackson C. Frank a few weeks ago; Frank was a better musical inspiration than boyfriend apparently: Sandy held onto his music far longer than his hand. In 67, two years after giving him the old heave ho, she offered up her very best rendition of one of his songs during a BBC session with Fairport Convention; we'll get to one of her greatest performances in a moment.

But let's start at the beginning.

Frank's own original take of You Never Wanted Me from 65 is great to begin with. Sure, he undercuts himself a bit by affixing a Dylanish "babe" here and there and offering up a picking stumble or two. But wow, what a regal, honest and lovely voice the poor guy had before everything went so terribly to pieces for him.

And what a great song.

If you want some perspective about how great Frank was at that point, take a listen to what Neil Young was doing at that same time. Here he is at 19 years old, making his pretty terrible first demo for Elektra and sounding more like he's 13, digging the blues. It's anybody's guess who he sold his soul to in exchange for genius in the year or two that followed.

Comparing Frank and Young in 65 is like comparing this blog to my famous brother's illustrious output or comparing Disney lions.

Frank was also a full step ahead of his own producer. Here's Paul Simon's best 65 effort, recorded at the same time he was setting up the mics for Frank over in jolly old England while Artie brewed the tea.

Simon sounds a hell of a lot better than Young here. But it's no wonder he and Young both do all they can to keep their 65 juvenalia from being heard.

And then there's Sandy. She was, is, and always will be, leagues ahead of all these dudes. Lean into her performance here. Yeah, I know, it's two years later and a lot changed in music in between.

But come on, listen to the beauty; listen to the power.

Listen to Sandy Denny.

And, while you are at it, I hope you can step outside at some point in the coming days and see something beautiful too.

[burntheworldtwice]

Live Thoughts on The Last Voyage of Demeter (Spoilers)

So I know very little of this movie outside the plot. I know it is much anticipated. Reviews are decent. But I didn't want some critic tainting my opinion you know? So I smoked a bowl, made a broke girls charcuterie, and am diving in.

-First of all who doesn't love a good Dracula tale?

-This is moody. Love that. Definitely recommend being in the dark by a fire if possible. its giving Victorian child and I personally am a victorian child so this is just swell

-I wish we still rode horses. Its a power move. Cop pulls up in a car ugh boring cop GALLOPS up on a horse. Mad respect.

-OMG its the guy who went after Oppenheimer for that shit senator. What's his name......David Dastmalchian. Im sorry hold the phone. DASTMALCHIAN is his dad Machiavelli. I'll be honest y'all im not a fan of his face. He looks weasly and honestly a bit threatening but that may just be the roles I've seen.

-Corey Hawkins out here showing LOOKS. Saving LIVES. CHILD LIVES. What. A. Gem.

-Whats in the box? WHATS in the box? WHATS IN THE BOOOOOX?!

-Why must children be so enthusiastic? So young and full of hope. Even on a fucking Russian ship in the 19th century.

-This cheese is really fucking good.

-Awe isn't this cute. "Crew in high spirits". Dancing around and shit. Did you know that many sailors were gay and that's why everyone thinks the Navy is a bunch of pussies. The more you know :)

-Is that Aaron Paul? LOL

-This really is pretty I must say. And the use of sound is just **Chefs kiss** I love when a movie employs sound as a means of expression.

-She needs a transfusion who's fucking blood is heh using is that his blood? The count is awake! yipeeee.

-I really need to watch some BTS for this. A lot of CGI and sets. Like did they do it Life of Pie style. I'll have to goole that..

-Ruh row. Bats outta the cage. NOT THE FUCKING DOG WHYYYYY KILL THE KID. Ugh why is it always the dog :((((

-HUUUCCKKKK

-Rabies? Men are so simple minded.

-Damn Drac is not looking good. Like worse than Voldy pre cauldron sesh.

-This kid is really taking on some emotional trauma. And little Woody Newman is just a cutie. He reminds of Gavauche (idk if that's spelled right) in Les Mis.

-"A boat without rats such is a thing against nature." That's a tattoo right thurr

-I am LOOOOVING the horror. The gore is so well done. Beautiful like Saving Private Ryan... If youre into blood..

-I could listen to Liam Cunningham read a Ikea instructions manual.

-I don't know if its intentional or not but I can't figure out the timeline of this movie. They mention a cove and it being over two weeks to England. But I can't tell how the time is passing. Could also be high but hey who knows.

-I know Rotten Tomatoes poopood this but I'm having fun and Draculas a dick lmao mimicking his victims. Damn bitch. Oh good strings. I love a good horror

-Why do we find it so hard to believe in things we can't understand? I realize the human brain seeks answers and solutions rather than more questions, but what if the answers and solutions are right there we just refuse to believe it?

-LMAO "I have a very important job for. you Toby. It's a lot to take on, can you handle it?" Hands over a spyglass. "Will you shine my shit for me dude?" I was talking to my wife about this but like I don't remember ever being this curious as a kid. Like demons on board? Nah Im staying in my room. Meanwhile this kid just wandering around the belly of ship.

-RUN TOBY RUN

-He got a knife. Tough kid here.

-Wow he's going full Jack Torrance with the door here. But who needs an axe when you have your face???

-NOT TOBY. Like I know everyone dies and all but damn. Also can Dracula apparate. Or is it like AS IF YOU COULD OUT RUN ME. Im a little behind on my Dracula lore. Oh he might live with these backwoods infusions.

-Okay I just haven't paid attention on the captains log. My B.

-Olgarin was bit... and infected? But Anne and Toby were fed on... and aren't? I'm going to have to think about that. Going up in flames was a fun drama though!

-I feel like maybe don't open the spooky box. And this man just rowing out to sea blindly believing in his faith. Did the Prince of Darkness fly out there? or. Yep. He a winged mother fucker.

-I like Dracula just whispering sweet nothings before he feeds.

-Are his burns not fucking horrifically painful? Im in pain looking at him. I know burns and that shit sucks for forever.

-Can Dracula manipulate the weather? I feel like I really need to brush up on my Dracula now. Foggy as hell. Dracula knew yawls plan come on.

-Women always out here making the greatest sacrifices.

-Why is Dracula synonymous with the devil? I like to think of Dracula like Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

-THe smothering with the wings was like kinda dope. Won't lie.

-I'm so glad they're trauma bonded now.

-I think I would of made a great light house keeper. Chill up in the rain by a fire. Watch the ships. Ambient lighting. My kinda gig to be frank.

-That ending sunrise. Wow. Almost poetic.

-NONONONONOOOO please tell me there's not going to be a sequel. Please dear god just let it end.

-Fuck.

[antvnger]

iron mun YEETING into the inbox.

🥇 - I think you’ve done a brilliant job with your muse.

Scott is a GEM, and you are so creative with how he takes up space here in the Tumblr-verse!

🎯 - Your portrayal is on point!

I will never be over how perfectly you encapsulate his energy! And the range you have / give him is phenomenal!

💡 - The plot ideas you give out are amazing.

LOVE the journeys we take these boys on: physical and emotional. The way we're able to bounce off each other is a blast!

🔮 - I can see us rping in the future and I can’t wait to get started as much as we want!

I love how much our creativity explodes together!

💛 - You’re a dear friend to me

MUN BROS FOREVER

📽 - I can see your muse in your portrayal, your writing is so perfect.

Your Scott is canon over MCU Scott to me 😅

🎬 - I wish your canon was actual canon.

Again, Marvel should have hired you to Scott's biography. You know him better than anyone, including the Marvel writers....including Paul Rudd. I SAID WHAT I SAID.

🌟 - I love seeing you on the dash!

Dash, notifs, DMs, everywhere! Never fear popping up all over the place in my world!

🍋 - Life might be giving you lemons at the moment, but just remember you’re my lemonade!

I'm sorry that you've been down recently. But I hope you know you never fail to brighten my day, and I know so people love and appreciate you for all you do here. And, like Scott, your value doesn't just come from what you do or how you show up for people. You are deserving, beautiful, and valuable because you are you and because you are who you are.

🦄 - Your AUs are so much fun and well thought out.

OBSESSED with the bits that I've seen for Blood Brothers and eager to eat up more! I'll be sure to reel to you when I consume more!

🌞 - You are such a bright and lovely person OOC.

There's a reason you're Scott Lang. You have his heart more than anyone I've ever met.

🤣 - You are hilarious!

Always giving me a giggle! IC and OOC!

🤞 - I’m always wishing to spot you online to improve my dash experience.

Scott or Ant Mun posts. Cue me ZOOMING IN ON THE DASH.

did i copy and paste the entire thing directly into the askbox? yes. i like to live on the edge. crossing my fingers this actually sends once i slam that button.

Oh my WORD! This really is a novel! Aaaww Iron Mun!

You floor me! Like I’m just…I…wow!

Aaaawww now I wish I wrote you a novel because you deserve one too!!

Your compliments truly flatter and humble me, my friend. I really can’t get over all of this. 

And look at you being all like “You know him better than anyone, including Marvel writers…including Paul Rudd. I SAID WHAT I SAID.” My dude, I laughed so hard and I blushed so badly I feel like I’ve got fever I swear.

Boy when you go to bat for me, you really go to bat for me. Thank you. Thank you so very much.

I’m so very blessed to know you and your Tony. Scott and I love you both, and you make being on here so much fun!

Math Bros & Mun Bros 4 LIFE!! ❤️🐜//❤️💛

Positivity meme

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

Julia season 2 spoliers... the first 3 episodes. My thoughts.

Ok is me did the 3 new episodes of season 2 equal nothing, well maybe not nothing. But could been just 1 episode. As far plot deployment, story line and character development the writers could of put what really mattered in those 3 episodes into one. There was in my opinion alot of just wasted screen time! Where nothing happened and it wasn't even all that interesting. Which is truly sad for this series. I kept wanting them to go back to Boston, even though France is beautiful. But it's like they kept them there because HBO spent the money to actually film in France and no other reason. So milk every drop out of it for no other reason goog the series or not.

So here in my opinion what could of been left out or made better. That would of improved and tighter plot points and scenes over all.

First James Beard little friend, that just came off as awkward, uncomfortable, unseemingly and just embarrassing that the show did that. Why not give him a proper boyfriend? They could done that and James just call him, his "friend" which everyone knows what he meant. Not some dude half his age, that well embarrassing. 🙄 Then we wouldn't have to had to deal with Stockard Channing as a beard lord that bad also so. Maybe it because I'm part of the lgbtqia+ community but I found that just horribly badly done over all. Then to have James boy toy hit on Paul was ridiculous!

Less of Julia and Simone Beck fighting. Cause all kept thinking was wow Simone Beck is really toxic to Julia maybe she shouldn't be friends with her.

Avis kinda dating that professor dude that there was no value in that whatsoever. Except to show her as unhappy, which they could of easily done some other way. Than that would of compelled her to go to Paris.

Did we really need to see as much of the misogyny as the TV station or the way we did? I'm not saying it didn't need to be shown, oh it did. But it was overkill, I think it would of been more effective if they stuck with certain scenes that had that biggest impact. The scene after Albert's interview with Helen Gurley Brown was really good. Maybe one scene with dudes in a meeting with Alice and Dorothy, the men having hissy fit. But than multiple meetings along with comments the men make. Then the one dude getting all butt hurt cause Dorothy wouldn't go out with him. It was important to show how it was back than for women in the work place. It may have been far more effective if it wasn't just all word play. Or showing other women working there being treated the same way not just Alice and Dorothy. Because that kind behavior effective all women back than. That would been far better then lazy ass effort we got from the writers.

That whole plot point with Judith and French singer. 🙄 If her ended up sleeping with him maybe. But seriously what was the point of that?! It was just dumb.

The whole point in a series or movie is move the plot forward, to move characters story line forward. If something isn't doing that it shouldn't be that. It should be rendered useless.

Some of the stuff is great for fanfiction of course but outside that it just in the way. I'm glad we're going back to Boston next episode though. Because I know Julia going have issues with Dorothy that's going be interesting.

Also Blanche needs to stop being a complete bitch to Judith! Personally I would told Blanche to go fuck herself and find someone else to be her eyes!! If she's going to accuse me of shit and be a total cunt to me!!

I can't wait until Avis starts dating that younger guy. I remember that from previews. It's going freakin brilliant. I personally wish they'd have her date a woman but they be boring. Avis is seriously my favorite character.

Ok can they find someone better for Alice? I don't know what it's about that dude but I don’t like him. Haven't liked since they first put them together. They need to find her a better man or how a woman.

I guess I'm tried of seeing period pieces they'll put a guy man character in it, but they hardly ever put a lesbian in them. It's fucking annoying.

Anyway I am looking forward to next week episode. I just think they didn't need to give us 3 episodes oh nonsense. It was rather disappointing to watch.

[msbigredmachine]

Watched Summerslam 2022. My highlights:

1. Bianca retaining at home.

2. Becky Lynch is an all-time great, man or woman.

3. BAYLEY! DAKOTA KAI! IO SHIRAI! (Now Iyo Sky, which is ok I guess)

4. Maryse is a beautiful woman. My goodness.

5. Yes Logan Paul is a douche, but that boy is one of the best celebrities to ever step foot in a wrestling ring

6. The Miz does not get the respect he thoroughly deserves. Bad Bunny and now Logan Paul, making them look so good.

7. Bobby Lashley is mad underrated, as both a performer and a DILF

8. I don’t thirst over Finn Balor, Damian Priest OR Rhea Ripley enough.

9. Rey Mysterio is 47 years old and still moves like that. Amazing.

10. Edge’s entrance, wow.

11. Bum ass Corbin choir 😂😂😂 Only highlight of that match though.

12. A solid Tag title match. But all four guys looked good, especially Jey 🤤 WWE threatening to split up Angelo and Montez makes me sad.

13. Whoever is styling Seth Rollins needs a raise.

14. Ronda turning heel. Much needed. The same night Becky turned face too. Interesting.

15. Fuck Glenn Jacobs. 🖕🏾

16. A fucking tractor! 🚜

17. Brock picking up the dang ring with said tractor! The chaos!!!

18. The 9.999 beating of the counts by BOTH guys! 😭😭😭

19. Heyman finally getting put through a table! That man dead!

20. Theory getting swatted away like a fly when he showed up. I wanted his ass flattened dammit!

21. Brock actually making me root for him when he kept getting up. Burying him under debris was the best way to finish him off. I can’t lie; that dude is one of a kind.

Overall, a fabulous show. Mr Helmsley-Levesque has started off his tenure well.

My MVP - Michael Cole. He was in God mode the entire show. His commentary for the main event 🔥🔥🔥🔥. This is what happens when an old man isn’t in your ear anymore.

Line of the night:

Corey Graves: “I liked you better when you weren’t allowed to have an opinion.”

Michael Cole: “That’s changed. A lot has changed.”

[finelinevogue]

Can we get some more brother!harry?

I really enjoyed your piece where he caught her smoking ❤️

of course you can!! (rip if your name is natalia) hope this is what you wanted;

Natalia.

Beautiful name to juxtapose a horrible excuse of a human being.

Harry was never that great when it came to choosing his girlfriends, but this one was by far the worst. Bekka had been bad, because she had been cheating on Harry with her best friends dad. India was just so toxic, to the point where she’d ask Harry why he wasn’t mad with her over the most trivial things as if she wanted him to be mad. Daya was ok, but she wanted different things to what Harry wanted and so they ended up in a massive argument and ending things quicker than they started. Natalia though, wow. She was something else and that wasn’t a compliment.

You don’t know whether it was just because she targeted you especially, but she was just a downright cruel person. You could easily tell her intentions with your brother were not good. She was a plain ol’ gold digger, evident from the credit card that Harry leant her and she spent so much on it the bank had to call Harry to ask him to authorise that he was aware of the amount of money being spent. She bought a car with his card. A fucking car. Harry was too blinded by her beauty and her experience that he was oblivious to her witchy behaviour towards you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to tell him either, it was more that he didn’t care enough.

“No Harry. No.” You argued with him, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he was busy washing the rest of the dishes in the sink. It was just the two of you home at the moment, because Gemma and Anne were spending the weekend at an exclusive spa in Cheshire, so you didn’t understand how there were so many dishes.

“Y/N, it’s not an option. You’re not staying at home by yourself.” Harry spoke sternly back to you, letting out his frustration by vigorously scrubbing the dishes.

“I’m literally 17 - 18 in like 3 weeks. I’m more than capable of staying home.” You stomped your foot to the ground like a child.

“And I don’t care. You’re coming to lunch whether you want to or not.” Harry finished the last plate and dries his hands on the towel next to the sink, before throwing it over to you.

“But she’ll be there.”

“She’s my girlfriend, so you’ll nice to her.”

“If she’s nice to me, then yeah.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the sink to start drying the dishes that Harry just cleaned.

“ Y/N, I swear to God.” Harry groaned in frustration, tugging a stressful hand through his hair. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for me for once?”

“Gee Harry, i’m just so happy to be going out to lunch with you and your girlfriend!” You put on the biggest grin as your sarcasm practically dripped from your tongue.

“Stop being a spoilt little shit and finish those dishes. We’re leaving in 20.” Harry spoke harshly, before leaving the room with a heavy strop to his step. It left you to blink back the tears that you couldn’t help that Natalia was ruining your whole relationship with your brother.

You and Harry used to be so tight nit, now it would be a miracle if he spent a day with you per month. Natalia had come along 5 months ago and she had completely turned Harry’s life around for the worst, only Harry was too ignorant to see that. Anne had come home multiple times to find you crying because Harry had cancelled on you, again, or Natalia had said something that had really hurt. Normally you were okay with taking hate, but Natalia made it somehow worse than that. Even if Anne or Gemma tried to talk Harry about the damage all this was causing you it would always be the same response;

“She just wants attention.”

The restaurant was very pretty.

It was one that you and Harry used to go to all the time, when there was no girlfriend around. It sold the best pastries and life-changing eggs on toast. The food was always delicious and the staff were so completely lovely. You were glad to be coming here, making you feel more comfortable than you would if you went to a expensive fancy restaurant instead. This little restaurant, named ‘Lemon Puffs’ after their infamous lemon, cream and pastry puffs, made you feel safe and happy.

“Remember to just be nice.” Harry spoke as you both approached the table that Natalia was already sat at. She was too busy on her phone to realise you were even here.

“If she plays nice then yeah.” You bit back.

“Y/N just stop being petty, y’pissing me off now.” Harry argued. “Whine like a bitch later. I don’t need it today.”

You stopped talking after that, not having anything else to say to him. He’d made it very clear that you were only here because he didn’t trust you at home by yourself, but by the same token wanted you quiet because he didn’t trust you enough to speak nicely. Harry hugged and kissed Natalia like he hadn’t just seen her last night and then sat down opposite to her, leaving you to sit next to Harry because you sure as hell weren’t sitting next to her. Natalia didn’t even make the effort to hug you or shake hands, in fact you barely got a simple hello.

“You alright, baby?” Natalia asked, twirling her hand into Harry’s from across the table. Disgusting.

“Yeah i’m good. This one’s a pain in my arse, as always.” Even with his joking tone, you knew he was being somewhat serious and that really messed with you.

“Typical.” Natalia rolled her eyes and tutted her tongue, not hesitating to use the opportunity to be mean to you. Harry thought she was merely playing along with his words, but you new otherwise.

“You know what you want yet?” Harry asked as he pulled his own attention towards the menu. You didn’t need to look at the menu, as being here so many times has allowed you to discover the perfect order.

“I think i’m just going to get the salad, but without the chicken, cheese or cucumber.” She answered, sipping on the water she must’ve already ordered whilst waiting for you both.

“So just lettuce?” You asked, not meaning for it to be a condescending question and yet she took it that way anyways.

“Is there something wrong with that, Y/N?” She asked, being really harsh in the way she spoke your name - as if the syllables actually caused her pain to speak.

“N-no I was just—”

“Didn’t think so.” She snapped and turned away from you to look back towards Harry, with her shit-eating grin that didn’t fool you. Harry kicked you leg under the table too, not appreciating the way you were speaking to Natalia. He didn’t even think about the way his girlfriend was speaking to you though. As usual.

“I’ll probably get the salad too.” Harry nodded his head and you shook your head as he spoke. Harry would never normally get a salad. Like, that’s so Kardashian of him. Harry, whenever he came here with you, always ordered a cheese and pickle panini, with extra crunchy pickles, a portion of chips and some halloumi fries too. Oh and then a cake for pudding. He wouldn’t have gone for a boring salad. Fucking Natalia was ruining him and you hated to have a front row seat of it.

“Not the usual then?” You tried to joke with him, but he was clearly still pissed off with you for being… you.

“Why, are you?” He asked quizzically.

“Obviously.” You smiled, which made Harry smile for a split second before Natalia pulled him away from you. Your smile disappeared and a frown settled in, knowing it would stay there for a long time.

“Babe, I am here too you know?” Natalia joked, bur you could see the anger and jealousy behind her eyes. If looked could kill you’d be ten feet under, twenty times over by now.

“Sorry, yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and paid closer attention to her.

Lunch went by slowly.

Natalia scoffed when she heard your order; poached eggs on toast with three pieces of crispy bacon on the side, a portion of chips and a mint iced tea. Oh and a cake for pudding, but you’d come to that later. Natalia ate her lettuce as Harry eat his salad as you ate your eggs on toast with bacon and chips. You loved the food, hated the company and couldn’t make up your mind whether you loved or hated being here. Natalia and Harry talked throughout lunch, leaving you out of all their conversations. The only time Harry spoke to you was when he asked whether your food was okay, eyeing it up as if he wanted to make love to it and send his salad to the nearest dumpster.

“Was everything alright for you?” Paul, the owner of the business and dude in charge of the eggs asked you when all your plates were empty as Harry’s growling stomach.

“Lovely, thank you.” Harry responded gratefully.

“Perfect.” You smiled as you handed your dirty plate to Paul.

“It was a bit plain.” Natalia moved her plate away from her in disgust and Paul put on his best customer smile, apologising for that before leaving to go and ring up the bill.

“Okay i’m just going to go for a quick wee before I pay.” Harry announced, getting up from the table to go to the loo.

“Okay babe. Don’t be too long.” She called out and then it was left just you and her.

“Well this was nice.” You tried to be nice, as Harry told you to, and start a meant conversation with your arch enemy. Kill ‘em with kindness - that was Harry’s slogan wasn’t it?

“If you hadn’t have been here then yeah.” She turned her nose up at you.

“Look,” you began, wanting her to understand something, “whatever i’ve done to upset you and make you hate me, i’m sorry. Just, I don’t want you to dislike me and I know that Harry really likes you so I want us to be able to get along.”

“Listen, Y/N,” there it was again - your name spoken with dripping venom, “I don’t want to get along with you. You make me sick. You are such a baby to Harry and you’re needy, which means I don’t get to spend time with my boyfriend—”

“Don’t get to spend time with him?” You had to laugh at that. Apart from today, you’d seen Harry maybe a total of 2 hours this whole week and it was Saturday. “You’re practically attached at the hip.”

“Not enough. Harry needs to keep away from you, you only bring him trouble.”

“I’m his fucking sister.” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace for the rest of the customers.

“Not an excuse. Look Y/N, I understand that you are quite lonely and don’t have many friends? Maybe you should consider that’s for a very good reason?” She rhetorically asked you and that made you sit back a bit. She was pulling apart your insecurities now and exposing them to find the most painful parts, so she could watch you suffer with only the curse of her words.

“It’s not like that.” You tried to convince yourself more than her, tears in your eyes over something so hurtful to you.

“No? ‘Cause I think that you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.” She stood up dusted herself off as he noticed Harry walk back over to the table, smiling as if she hadn’t just shot his sister in the heart.

Her words stung more than a scorpions tale, and yes unfortunately you knew what that felt like. Natalia was right. You were alone, friendless and just trouble. There was a reason that you were all of this and Natalia had hit the nail right on the head with the reason why. You thought of your friends, his they always disappeared and left you and now you sit in the canteen alone or hang out only with yourself on the weekends. You think to Gemma and Anne going away for the weekend, not inviting you because it was age restrictive but you still couldn’t help but think there was a more pressing reason than that. Then you think of Harry and how he was fed up of you. He couldn’t be more resentful of you if he tried. You wanted to be a good friend, a good daughter and most importantly a good sister, but it was so blindingly obvious that you weren’t. You were never going to be.

You stood up from the table too, quickly wiping away a tear from your face before anyone could notice but you didn’t care to see if anyone was actually watching. Harry kissed Natalia and then walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. You noticed Paul and Harry talking and so you walked out of the restaurant and towards the car, still tears in your eyes. You needed to be strong for yourself though, especially because nobody else was going to be.

You stood with you handle to the door of the car waited for Harry to come and unlock it. You heard high heels before the car was unlocked, unfortunately.

“Excuse me, but I ride front.” Natalia spat at you, removing your hand from the door and chivvying you to the back of the car instead.

“You’re coming with us?” You asked, your heart aching that little bit more. You didn’t want to spend another minute in her presence and yet she would now probably spend the rest of the week until your mum and sister came back.

“Ye—”

“No she’s not.” Harry walked out of the restaurant and over to the car, standing in between the both of you but a little more towards you.

“Babe? What do you mean?” Natalia asked, a little bit shocked at his tone with her.

“Firstly dont babe me. Secondly, get your hand off my car. Thirdly, don’t ever come near me or my sister ever again.” Harry ordered angrily. You’d never seen him this angry before. You stood behind him, afraid of what was about to go down.

“What has she said to you, because—”

“She’s my sister and she’s got a name. Y/N didn’t tell me anything. Lemon Puffs, however, has eyes and ears everywhere and it’s amazing the stories you hear when you’re stood at the cashier or next to someone at the urinals.” Harry accused Natalia and she went hot red in the face, embarrassed that this conversation was actually happening.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No? Maybe this will jog your memory. ‘I think you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.’” Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest confrontationally. Guarding and protecting you. You felt safe.

“Wha— You think I would say that?” Natalia asked, pretending to be offended by the accusation.

“I don’t know, let’s ask Y/N shall we? Y/N, did Natalia say that to you?” Harry asked, turning to look at you with hope in his eyes, but also sorriness for everything that’s happened. You could see it all behind his eyes and you wanted to squeeze him tight to accept his apology, because you loved him and you needed him.

“Y-yes.” You answered, looking down so you didn’t have to make eye contact with Natalia.

“Harry you can’t possibly believe her.” Natalia laughed, but there was heavy insecurity in her tone.

“I trust her more than anyone. More than you. I trust Y/N with my life.” Harry back answered, taking no more bullshit from his ex-girlfriend. “We’re done Natalia. Okay? I don’t want to see you ever again. What you’ve said and done to my sister is unforgivable and I don’t want someone like you in my life.”

“You were a dick too.” You added quietly behind him and he just turned round to smile and wink at you.

“So what? That’s it?” Natalia asked, dumbfounded.

“Bye Natalia.” Harry walked around to the drivers seat and you to the passenger side. He stopped before opening the door though, wanting to say one last thing. “The bill was split in half by the way. Paul’s just inside waiting for you to pay.”

With that, you both got in the car, laughing at Natalia’s reaction and just everything. Apologises were made and promises of no relationships until you two had built back up yours were sworn. It would take time, but Harry was willing to prove that he was a good brother and you were always going to be someone he wanted around.

[woodchoc-magnum]

Lone Star Hate Watch - 3x03

Disclaimer: As always - I hate this show, you love it! Please don't read this and have a wonderful day

Eddie Diaz to bless us with his beautifulness before we descend into misery:

Let's suffer together:

Okay I can barely remember what happened in the last episode but here we go

The snow makes this show looks awful

What are the chances that Marjan crashed right where Owen is with all the migrants

Wow the ol' bait and switch, did they teach Owen those fighting skills on the mean streets of Manhattan

Oh great TK's in a coma and now we have to suffer through his subconscious just fucking kill me now

Lisa Edelstein, you deserve better than this show

She also deserves an acting partner who can, you know, act

Like he actually can't act. It's embarrassing

Oh maybe he's dying?! Please? Fingers crossed?

Why is Carlos keeping vigil, like honestly Carlos, you deserve so much better than fucking TK

"It's pretty clear where this is headed?" – do they all think TK is going to die?

Why is this show getting my hopes up

Also I'm just going to point out that at no point did Nancy or Tommy do anything to warm TK up after he nearly froze to death so like… yeah.

"Because of me someone's kid is dying" – babe yeah you should've warmed him up just saying

"How am I supposed to face Owen" – this is assuming Owen will actually care that TK is dying

You know, if it's not to do with his hair or his skin routine does it even matter

I'm really sick of this snow storyline

This guy taking off on his own is going to die

Oh I forgot Paul nearly froze to death as well

I love Judd so much

I was just like "who the fuck are these people visiting Paul?" and it's Lindsay's parents and 100% they're rich

So this is how they get the firehouse back huh

"Would you like a Maserati?" fucking calm down bro

The special effects are sometimes laughably bad

Oh just like I called it, the guy is going to get killed – and I think the police are IN ON IT

And now Marjan is here?

Now the bad cop is chasing Marjan who is in a very easily camouflaged pink outfit, doesn't stand out at all in the snow

Oh great now we're back to TK fucking kill me

You can buy toffee in a jar in the US? What kind of sorcery

"I always be that little boy mom, I still am" TK says in a monotone

"You are surrounded by love" – this fucking reminds me of Taylor saying to Buck that his life is nothing but meaningful relationships

I can't believe Tim is focusing on this show rather than the OG, it's SO BAD.

This toffee in a jar thing… I'm stuck on that. Oh is it like caramel pieces? Do Americans call caramel "toffee"? you guys honestly I am side-eyeing this

"Can we please have a little more time Mom?" can he not go and visit her in New York

I'm so glad they didn't do this for Eddie, my god, it's so dumb

It's so fucking dumb

This Sheriff dude is bad news. You know people talk a lot of smack about Billy but at least he's not a people smuggler, like he could be worse

Julie Benz has gotten herself into a real fucking mess hanging out with Owen Strand let me tell you

Oh dispatch throwing Grace a baby shower

She is TWO WEEKS OUT FROM HAVING BABIES AND STILL AT WORK? My god

Oh she's definitely going into labour in the middle of the snow storm right

Somehow I'm only 22 minutes in

Owen has let the bad cop into his house

Maybe he kills Owen? Fingers crossed!

Marjan should steal the police car

Look I'm just going to say that Owen's hair is looking fucking terrible right now

God I hope this storyline doesn't drag into another episode

Don't you fucking hurt Julie Benz YOU MONSTER

Isn't enough that she died in Buffy, Angel and Dexter HASN'T SHE HAD ENOUGH

This bad cop is such an asshole let me just say

I know this is meant to be tense but I'm so bored

I'm so sick of the ugly snow effect

God damn them for using good music in this show fuck you Lone Star

Roy Orbison? YOU BASTARDS

You know it's funny, I watched Rob Lowe do Hot Ones and he didn't talk about Lone Star once

He's happy to star in it but he doesn't hype it up

Grace I swear to fucking god IF YOU FALL OFF THAT LADDER I WILL FREAK OUT

Oh it's Billy

My favourite 😍

This is how Grace goes into labour, Billy is going to antagonise her into it

Billy wants Judd to be a captain but we all know he won't take that job even though it totally makes fucking sense

Because he's going to go back to the 126 and be second to fucking Owen Strand and that doesn't make sense

And also – like, I know this show is pushing Billy as the villain here BUT he's really not? If you think about it, what he's doing makes total sense? The 126 burned down, it doesn't make sense to rebuild it if they have enough fire stations to cover the city, he's offering Judd a fucking promotion like… ?????? I'm sorry but you will never convince me he's a villain. He's opportunistic, sure, but like, I love him. So I'm fine with it.

I have loved Billy Burke for SO LONG, I will NEVER STOP LOVING HIM

Judd and Billy were BEST FRIENDS? When? Did I know that? Wtf

"The Department would've gone bankrupt trying to rebuild it" – I'm sorry but he's just talking a lot of sense and I think they're all being salty little bitches

Oh was Billy at the 126 with Judd before the place was decimated in Season 1? Okay okay that makes sense

God I love Grace even though I think her anger is misplaced

Oh shit her water broke but thank god she didn't fall off the ladder right

Billy is trying to do the right thing here, like I'm sorry

But you will NEVER CONVINCE ME HE'S A BAD GUY

Five minutes to go come on we can do this

"The universe is shouting in your ear and you can't hear a thing" bitch you are just fucking STEALING LINES FROM THE OG AT THIS POINT

Ugh seriously this fucking annoys me so much

It's lazy fucking writing

Oh fuckkkk now they're fucking singing

FUCK I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH

I fast forwarded it I'm sorry guys I can't

TK could die! Fingers crossed!

There's an awful lot of praying in this show which I think is one of the reasons I don't like it

One of the many reasons I don't like it

Billy and Grace are definitely going to end up in a car crash aren't they

Oh no they're stuck in the snow or something? How does she have an SUV with no four wheel drive, I thought that was the whole point

Is Billy going to deliver Grace's baby? Fuck that would be hilarious

Also it's finished thank god

In summation - Judd and Grace (and Billy) continue to be the best parts of the show, I cared for literally nothing else

Eddie Diaz for cleansing energy:

Lone Star needs to get some new fucking material is all I'm saying

Bonus Billy Burke!

How can you hate this man, I love him? I don't get it

[wonderlandmind4]

Okay, no one asked but here’s my thoughts the Fresh movie.

*******SPOILERS**********

Seriously…..spoilers. Turn away!!!

Firsts thing first. The cinematography was beautiful and I got and understood why some scenes and parts were shot like that, plus all the artwork. Amazing.

Second, the beginning of the movie really captures you and tricks you, almost like a glamour spell of sorts, a false sense of cute and charming and somewhat dreamy and that was fucking brilliant in writing and directing.

Let me explain, the date Noa goes on, UGH so fucking realistic and rude and some men have certainly come off that way and are just dicks. (Lol pun intended) plus the dating app guy just sending a dick pic unannounced, 1000% real.

So when Noa meets Steve in the store, who comes off as kinda odd yet charming and naturally awkward, i can understand why she ends up giving him her number. At that point you’re annoyed and done with other men and here’s this cute dude talking about cotton candy grapes (which are delicious btw) who had a horrible pick up line, I get it. The date that happens after, the charm and connection, yet the underlying fact of Steve fishing for info to use to his advantage later…again, BRILLIANT. And terrifying.

When the title card finally happens, such a great choice and the way he ends up drugging Noa…and he kept talking as if SHE HERSELF felt sick but didn’t even question or think of why, again, terrifying.

The fear and panic Noa had when she woke up and realized what was happening, who Steve really was….phenomenal acting by Daisy. Her terror and tears felt so so real, and scary and horrific.

Get yourself a best friend like Mollie. Girl called the red flags immediately and then she didn’t give up on tracking and trying to find Noa and fished for information 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

The fucking wife yo. Wow. WOW. Didn’t truly see her coming the first or second time.

How Noa begins to play along and manipulate Steve was, and I’m sorry for repeating myself, BRILLIANT. It’s “do what you have to survive” to a T.

Penny 🥺💔

Also. Yes. Sebastian is a beautiful fucking man in general we all know this. He plays charming so so well, he plays crazy and horrifying amazingly. There are times- and I believe either Mimi Cave or Daisy or Sebastian himself said this- where you kinda fall and want to believe and under where Steve is coming from, and his own disgusting belief in doing what he does, there’s a mesmerizing charm, but at the end of it…no. Just. NO. Let me be clear, me saying that isn’t romanticizing this character, this is a praise on how well Steve was written and how grotesque, unsettling and fucking insane he really is. Charm for a serial killer is not uncommon(Ted Bundy anyone?) plusss….having a wife be in the same *ahem* business as you helps him get away with it.

Towards the end, when Noa full on tricks and has Steve where she wants him, her biting his dick off… FUCKING YESSS👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I was hoping she was gonna do that. And this is where the writing and directing comes in again, even though there are moments where Steve is charismatic, and handsome (that’s not Sebastian’s fault damn) you WANT this to happen to him. You ROOT for these girls to get him, to escape to help each other. Everything they do you want them to do to him and worse, he deserved every bit of it and honestly, so did the wife.

I think this movie hit every point it wanted to make. It nailed undertones of dating and fear and not truly knowing who someone really is. The acting was great, Sebastian at the end, when the switch flipped…fucking terrifying. Daisy was brilliant. JoJo T. Gibbs was amazing 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I’m not a fan of horror movies but the horror in this is just different.

I just wanted two things cleared up: 1- what really happened to Steve’s family? His mother…his sister? Because I want to know if my theory is true. 2- I really hope Paul was driving away and actually spotted/found the girls and drove them far far away from there.

….yes. There were times I had to turn away and gagged a little.

[welcome-to-the-cafe]

Shang-Chi (2021) Review Pt. 2

This one will be about the less character-relevant stuff, such as casting, props, settings, and design.

Easiest first: props and costumes.

A bit cool, a bit silly, and bit too "Chinese-themed".

The old Ten-Ring troops had normal armor for the time and age. The new Ten Ring troops looked like the Snake-Eyes fodder ninjas but with tassled helmets. Like I appreciate what they were going for, but...it look dumb dude. And what they were doing with only one hook sword? The electrified thing was cool, but y'all didn't use the bladed hand guard, the combo hook move, the spiked pommel...wasted potential smh. And then the electric arc crossbows....again I appreciate the idea, but that was silly, especially after we showed the Ten Rings sniper with a normal ass gun. Or, just go full sino-futurism and give me the chainsaw spiked club, the electrified monk's spade, taser three section staff.

The villager's clothes were too...saturated, and monochromatic. It kinda reminded me of Mulan (2020) actually, the white people's ancient Chinese clothing. In contrast, in the he TianLongBaBu wuxia series I've been watching, people dress in...normal earth tones. Oh also, too many fucking sandals, where are my black loafers and thick white socks, with rope bindings? Like the kind modern Shaolin monks wear?? The villager's weapons too. Only Xialing's was kind of interesting, the rest are vanilla staffs and sword+shield. Boooo. Where's the dragonscale fangtianhuaji? The dragonscale guandao? Ok I'm done. Just disappointed.

Wenwu's costumes were pure drip in every scene. Zero complaints.

Shang-Chi's letterman's jacket was my favorite costume to be honest. He should not have changed in the village. The final costume seemed a bit too...modern, but not quite to the level of the Black Panther suit. It just seemed like Western superhero top with a vaguely Chinese pattern on it. Or it looked kindof...southeast asian? Wish it had no sleeves.

Katy should've kept her Macau drip. The "traditional" robe just didn't look right.

Xialing looked the best in her inverse Bruce Lee colors crop top and sweats. Like damn.

Ying Li's robes' green is too saturated in my opinion, unnaturally. Same with Michelle Yeoh's character. Now that I think about it, I hardly ever see bright green in traditional Chinese clothes...or modern Chinese fashion. Her pristine white/biege wushu outfit is also meh for me.

Death Dealer's dark blue + yellow colors are quite striking, but a bit odd and out of place with the rest of the Ten Rings' getup. Perhaps it was intentional, since he's the elite trainer? I wish it was more modern, a la Snake Eyes' suit. I would also like to complain about his opera face makeup though; why only the top half? Is that even a real opera face design? It's kind of a dumb half-ass reference I think. Like, Noh masks are used all the time for creepy effect, why not Beijing Opera?

Next, CGI animals.

Morris the Hundun/Dijiang was cute, but I half expected him to suddenly go nuts and devour Slattery, since the Hundun is one of the primordial evil beasts. But Disney needs their marketable mascot. I even saw a Lego piece for him before the movie was released!

The trip through the other world was a bit too safari-like. Like wow, the Ninetails is just chilling by the road, and a herd of Qilin conveniently pass by. The execution of these creatures were fine, though the Qilin eyes were too "dead".

I don't have problems with the Lions' design, but they were completely unnecessary, and lowered the stakes for the final battle for me. Those two lions could literally tear apart all five of Wenwu's trucks in less than a minute.

I stated already, the big evil monster, the little soulsuckers, and the dragon are completely unnecessary to me. Even when I saw just the wood carving of the soulsucking bats, I felt disappointed. Xialing and Shangchi spent way too long riding the big dragon and not doing kungfu :/

Onto settings.

I just recently visited Bay Area! The hilliness of SF was nicely showed off by the bus fight.

Macao seemed well-grounded and normal for a modern Chinese metropolis. Was portrayed better than Tokyo was in Snake Eyes in my opinion. The bamboo scaffolding scene reminded me heavily of Rush Hour 2's Hong Kong fight, and I could hear Jackie Chan assuring us "don't worry, Chinese bamboo, very strong!".

The Ten Rings compound was...eh. No defining features to locate it anywhere real so whatever. But the interior was weirdly homey?

The Ta Lo village is what I really want to complain about: why they gotta throw Chinese people back to the Xia dynasty like that? Straw huts? Really? And there was a total of like 7 buildings there, across a tiny area. That is not a village, it's a medium-sized temple complex. Kung Fu Panda 3's hidden panda village was loads more impressive, with interesting geography. This was on a flat plane next to a pond. Combined with the costuming, it's like hello, it's hokey Western orientalism again.

Casting.

Tony Leung. Perfect. Outstanding. Phenomenal. Sexy as hell. I have recovered fully from Lust, Caution. I see on Tiktok that westerners are thirsting after him, and I am very satisfied. The "Killmonger-Loki" Effect is now the "Wenwu-Killmonger-Loki" Effect. I only wish he were younger, because I hate the "daddy" kink. Mr. Leung, you are a hero to Asian-American men. Thank you.

Awkwafina. Yeah she is pretty good as the unabashed ABC friend. But lately, I feel she has been over-used as the main Chinese-American actress. On some social media, I have seen Black users complain of her 'blaccent' and vow to boycott Shang-Chi in protest. I'm inclined to defend her, as it is probably what she grew up with, and the boycott feels like another attempt to draw moral hierarchical divisions between minorities. Similar sentiment is "yall didn't come out for Black Panther, why should we come out for Shang-Chi?". I don't have any data as to whether 'we' did come out for Black Panther, but I generally disapprove of POC factionalism.

Simu Liu. I'm glad that Westerners are thirsting over him too. I'm glad he's very enthusiastic and affable, and well-liked in the Asian-American community. He's us! And he got a shirtless scene! But the catch is...he doesn't fit the current Chinese standard for "hot guy actor".

From the majority angle: that's toxic af. He's hot enough, why are we being so picky with dumb Asian beauty standards? Will we ever properly support ourselves? Like damn, this is the first Asian-American lead in a goddamn Marvel movie, and this is how you treat him?? By the Heavens.

From the other angle: his eyes are small, his jaw kind of round, head kind of wide. Not the most masculine, but definitely not feminine. He's a normal Chinese-American dude. Chinese dude, Harbin, Heilongjiang born. Compare that to Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Paul Rudd, Chris Pratt, Sebastian Stan, Chadwick Boseman, Anthony Mackie, etc. These are among the finest western specimens; why did the pick the Asian hero to be played by the 'normal-looking' dude? Was Jackson Wang not available? Or Ludi Lin? I personally have a suspicion that his appearance most fits the stereotypical look of an Asian man to Western audiences, and that's why he was cast.

He's received hate for this, from Reddit r/aznidentity, the sub that I frequent, which currently is cheering Shang-Chi's box-office success. That's toxic af, and must be heartbreaking for him. Unfortunately, it's part of the larger conflict of Western and Eastern media, representation, markets, and culture. And that's a big fish to wrangle in part 3.

[ariyadaivaris]

- christ i hate smug mma dudes more than anything on this earth. you're a man doing mma what do you have to be excited about? washing out of ufc and having to resort to a dying professional wrestling company? the systematic oppression of women? the paul brothers? i'm putting nails in your shoes

- the rare and coveted tshirt ariya. phwew he's really uh. he's very. twirls hair. he's kinda

- ariya using a rose metaphor for himself teehee i love being very smart and always right about everything

- "i guess you don't think tony can do it on his own aye" is soooooo so so far from anything that has ever happened between tony and ariya that it's LAUGHABLE. ariya deserves to laugh in his face. cringe and fail broadway-musical-rock-of-ages-male-lead-understudy looking little man. no i'm gonna argue with the kayfabe enemy actually the WHOLE THING up to this point has been ariya trying to prove himself and the subtle tension of tony becoming champion where ariya never has, the only the ONLY time ariya has ever not believed in tony is when he had a full on spiral breakdown towards the beginning of the year when they were questioning splitting them up again for some fucking reason and then it got retconned because DUHHHHHH why would you ever split tony and ariya up just for fun or a giggle when they;ve got the most complex relationship on 205 if you re*you walk away knowing all of this already because you have heard this every week for the last three years but you can still hear me talking in the distance, talking and talking though no one is there...*

- obsessed with this promo actually...ariya's mannerisms are so good he's SO...FUN. i LOVE watching him. he is so self-assured and so charming and there is so obviously so much frustration buried like, an INCH deep beneath all of it. it takes grey pushing him ONCE for him to lose his verve. im SO interested in this

- the thread here is, of course, "you think tony can't do it on his own?" which, as i've stated, is so far from true or what ariya thinks that it's comic. when ariya spits, "of COURSE tony nese can do it on his own", there are a lot of factors at play. when he concedes that maybe instead of going out there, he WILL stay backstage, there's a lot going on there!!! there IS!!! *voice of an unwell person* there IS a lot going on   - tony doesn't need to prove he can do it on his own, because he already has. ariya's storyline...like i mentioned, he had a weird moment at the beginning of the year, when it seemed like maybe he and tony were going to be split up. that was very much a moment of "okay the writing might change so it's time to set something up" of course but i think it's interesting to think about as a character impulse.   ariya is working to prove he can do things on his own. this has BEEN his thing. he and tony are a team again, but ariya's tried to win with other teams and he's tried to win alone, and though he's successful more often than 205 would have you believe, he's still very shaky. tony has been allowed to work outside of the orbit of other people, and ariya hasn't gotten that chance as much. and, besides that, tony doesn't CARE about it in the same way ariya does. tony...when he gets intense, it's about interpersonal stuff. drew, buddy, cedric, akira, swerve. tony competes with people! ariya competes with himself. does that make sense. i know what i mean. its fine   ariya...is on edge. he likes tony and he likes working with tony, but he hasn't been a competitor like tony is. tony's been very accomodating, stepping back or supporting ariya's feuds and allowing him to do What He Needs To Do, which means ariya can try to work alone without going completely rogue and sabotaging shit. when he tried to cut himself off from tony, it was...well it was retconned. but. that's what he's done before and this time it didn't work because ONE it's just tony and ariya, there's no exacerbating force, and TWO, tony and ariya are, after all, friends. tony wants to be friends with ariya and it is hard work to be friends with ariya but he will do it. so they work it out. and ariya is left feeling very very weird about it, and very very aware of how much he kind of depends on tony, when tony doesn't depend on him, at all. ariya tries to protect tony and gas him up and keep an eye on him to make up for All That He's Done Before and to feel like this friendship is two-sided (which it is, of course, friendship is more than a strategic advantage but that's how ariya's always approached it and it's a hard habit to break), but he doesn't have the wins to back up the feeling of being Worth It as a friend.   it's...i feel like i just sound out of my gourd saying all of this lol and i am. but when ariya bitterly says, "of course tony nese can do it on his own." it's not just the anger at grey being a dickhead towards tony. it's also ariya being painfully aware that tony can do it without ariya's help. there's a threat in that statement, that question that doesn't need to be asked. there's an irony to it. its...think about it this way: if tony was talking to grey about watching ariya's match, grey wouldn't snark about if tony thought ariya could do it. you know?

- that doesnt make sense. whatever <3 im free

- wow love seeing kushida defending the title. imagine if that happened.....on.......205 live

- ariya literally getting successfully talked out of watching tony's match because he wants to show he believes in tony :( i'm hurt...i'm so hurt. so fucked up and twisted. by GREY too, ariya has kind of a BIT with grey huh. him cheating to pin ariya and then going noooo cheating is wrong against all other opponents. the way grey is super hypocritical and shitty to him and then to no one else. ariya almost respecting him for what ariya understands as Someone Who Gets It and then revealing oh no i just really don't like you and want to piss you off. this one dude who keeps targetting ariya specifically in all the ways that most drive ariya into a frenzy and he managed to hit him where it hurts the most enough to drive him into hiding. oughhhh aughhhh   - everyone on 205 being a hater for no reason and seeing ariya trying to deal with his Issues(TM): hm. i can make him worse

- SUNFLOWER JACKET!!!!!!!! SUNFLOWER JIRO. PRECIOUS AND BELOVED. KING AMONG ALL CRUISERWEIGHTS. I DONT KNOW WHO ARIYA IS

- the exaggerated "BOO!""YAY!" cheers for jiro. who am i to say he doesn't deserve them. he DOES. we LOVE jiro. jiro is allowed to homewreck gold standard if he wants to i'll pretend not to see

- UNBREAKABLE!! AUGHHH HE'S SO COOL AND FUN AND HIS MIND IS SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL. jiro has such a fucking bonkers sense of like...dragging a move out. that man can MAKE a sequence! he gets the upper hand and he holds onto it for ages and the entire time its never dull. always with the momentum! always with the visualization of everything around him and how to make it into a show. i just simply think that jiro kuroshio

- HE'S DYINGGGGGGG NOOOOOOOO JIRO. TONY NESE YOU'RE A DEAD MAN. he looks great at this angle though love you weirdo. oh NO your jacket is NOT cool enough to pull this off fkshsdskd  - jiro injecting some MUCH needed humor back into 205 thank you so much

- tony's stupid joth uniform next to jiro's sunflower pattern is SO good. fuckin goth v prep diagram dynamic. creamsicle blogging moments

- OH I LOVE A GOOD PIN. we LOVE a good pin don't we. that kick to tony on the apron ROCKS

- clearly you don't own an air fryer...

- OH HIS FORM IS FUCKING UNREAL. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!! JIRO KUROSHIO BABEY

- i REALLY like this match. this is 205 to me

- IS THAT A 205 CHANT??? IS THAT A 205 CHANT I HEAR??? OH????? WORM????? ITS BEEN LIFETIMES....................

- ooohohohoohohHOOO tony's recovery from the moonsault. that was. dare i say. Epic

- JIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- jiro treating mister nese like a little football. sorry anthony. perhaps you should just be cooler <3

- THAT WAS SO FUN......what a meaty episode this week. harkens back to 205 of old.............i love it. im loving this energy. jiro kuroshio you are going to save 205 i believe it

[ourladylennon]

1/2) About Fraser, a couple of quotes that caught my eye:

"Robert represented to me freedom, freedom of speech, of view"

"The most formative influence for me was Robert Fraser. Obviously the other Beatles were very important but the most formative art influence was Robert. I expect people to die so I don’t feel a loss but there’s a vacuum where he used to be"

"The way Robert lived, which became the way I lived for a couple of years and which I now figure for a rather aristocratic way of life, would be that he’d ring early in the day and say, ‘What are we doing for dinner tonight?’

'Once I got to know Robert, a nice thing would be going to the gallery and helping install an exhibition. Just sit around and smoke a bit of pot while somebody else was installing the exhibition. Helping. Play a little music for him.’ 

"There were many good times in Robert’s flat. Through my Beatle connections I’d hire a 16mm projector for the evening […] and I started off with Wizard of Oz. Robert got into this, wow, and he’d get some art movies. We got a lot of Bruce Connors, showed a lot of that. It was a very exciting period."

The boy sounded smitten, didn't he? Maybe nothing physical happened, (Robert was allegedly into darker men) but it looks like Paul liked the idea of being "romanced" by this handsome and sophisticated guy. There was an undertone of cozy, easy intimacy between them. You can tell by the way Bob would call to plan what they'd do for dinner. How Paul would sit there playing music for his eyes only while someone else was installing the exhibition. It speaks volumes that someone as image oriented as Paul went to Paris with an openly gay man without caring what others would say. It suggests a deep connection. The story about their "netflix and chill" encounters in Robert's flat is so suggestive as well. Paul could've been anywhere and yet there he was watching Wizard of Oz with this dude. I'd say those encounters were not about Paul's love of cinema. He just wanted to be around Bob. They most likely drank, did drugs and in my opinion, fooled around a bit, for the fun of it. It sounds like a fantastic way to spend the time, 10/10 recommended.

Paul also had a strong relationship with Tara for the short time they knew each other. The fact he did LSD with him before the other Beatles implies a lot of trust. Tara was very responsible and sweet in that occasion, staying sober to look after Paul in case he had a bad trip. I loved that about him. He was really concerned about keeping Paul safe and giving him a good time. They always hung out when they had the chance and John really disliked the guy. Then there is Tara's Christmas trip to Liverpool. I'm aware he knew Paul's brother Mike first and they were friendly but there was such an air of "meet the parents" about this situation. I'm not entirely convinced they were physical but I could sense a romantic crush. Tara was married but as a beautiful society swan in the Rolling Stones' circle, I think he was quite open to experimentation.

part 2 and my answer below read line :)

2/2) Again, I would never call Paul bisexual but I do think he was more attracted to men in a romantic/platonical sense than people realize. He enjoyed immensely the attention and the company of some guys. He would open up emotionally with them, learn their craft and incorporate their habits in a way he rarely did with his women, not even Linda. It looks like Paul wouldn't unlock certain corners of his mind unless a man he was drawn to gave him that permission. This is probably why he associated Fraser with freedom.

John was the most important of all because in a way, Paul would've never discovered and accepted himself without him. He used to kill frogs and engage in unruly behavior as a child to repress that soft, romantic persona he would become so famous for. Meeting a charismatic, brilliant boy who appreciated that vulnerable side of him must've been exhilarating. As they became a songwriting team, they both started seeing creation as sex, a view they'd carry for the rest of their lives. It's telling that once Paul lost John permanently, he went looking for the next man to fall in love with. But not even Elvis Costello, Stevie Wonder or Michael Jackson were enough to fill that gap.

Which convinces me of the eroticism of his relationship with John. It was the one connection he didn't have with all the others (with the possible exception of Fraser) and this is why the collaborations would often end up somewhat unfulfilled. He might've loved them intellectually but the erotic element wasn't there and it made a difference in the results.

About McLennon, few people dispute they were in love with each other these days. But what are the odds that two people who felt so strongly about each other and had plenty of chances to consummate their feelings in a physical way not doing it? They would crash and burn within six months. It's all speculation because Paul won't tell us but I don't think it's that much of a radical idea. I think a lot of stuff will come out once Yoko passes away and Paul faces his own mortality.

P.S: juicy bit about Heather, I'm bummed that we don't get enough info about this period because of that divorce NDA.

//

Anon, you are a well-researched individual and I’m impressed. This was the first thing I read this morning it was like a morning newspaper lol, thanks.

I entirely see what you mean about intimate undertones. "Cozy” seems like a good word to describe the general feel. I *tried* reading up some more on their relationship and I get a sense that Paul in general had a great admiration for Robert and your right- has that element of creation which is so essential to Paul’s being and probably his attraction. Robert seems to have given him a different side of creating than John did: art. That clearly created a bond for them and had some impact. Like with the movies and projectors, yeah cool and all, but “an exciting period” goes a bit deeper than that for sure. He clearly learned a lot from him about art, but whose to say about what else? The way Paul talks seems like he really admired, respected and trusted the man at the very least (I am even reading this quote that seems to imply Paul and Robert did hallucinogenic drugs together unless I’m misreading? That’d be a big leap of trust just like with Tara which still boggles me).

It’s not too big of a stretch to think Paul did enjoy being romanced, in exactly the way you put it, by some guy who was “handsome and sophisticated” who he found to be interesting, different, above average, with a new exciting form of expression. And not romanced in the obvious sense; more so unassuming things like having an intimate understanding of art with one another, who felt his equal in terms of that area of art, who was putting in the effort of engaging with him, showing him something others hadn’t, being so willing to share with Paul and to open his mind. You can definitely be romanced in friendships too though so I’m not saying this is exclusively any one thing in particular, though I myself do sense an undercurrent of more-than-standard interest after reading some more. In a nutshell, pretty much what you said:

I do think he was more attracted to men in a romantic/platonical sense than people realize. He enjoyed immensely the attention and the company of some guys. He would open up emotionally with them, learn their craft and incorporate their habits in a way he rarely did with his women

I still don’t think he would ever connect the dots of what that meant or what it could mean. I think to him, it just was what it was.

With John specifically, yeah there’s just no question for me. To me, they are every bit of the lore and legend of what soul mates are made of. Fire & passion on all levels. No disrespect to any of their longterm relationships outside of each other, because they clearly had deep feelings for their other partners, but I sincerely don’t think it that it connected on every level like it did with John/Paul. But of course, I still fall on the side of thinking nothing sexual ever happened (for more reasons than one I could see why they wouldn’t have fooled around imo). With 67/68 being that turning point where they *did* crash and burn because perhaps someone tried something- words or other- or perhaps nothing happened and that could have precisely been the cracking point.

I do find it interesting that Paul’s hanging around with Robert was right around this tumultuous period of John and Paul’s relationship...kind of makes you think doesn’t it? Like does this have any influence on what happened in India sort of thing; John seeing Paul being good, close friends with a gay man. Could it have stirred something up for John? Made him see a possibility where he hadn’t before? Interesting to think about and which I hadn’t thought about before....

I genuinely hope that Paul shares anything important with us before he passes. He doesn’t owe us anything, but my god would I die to know everything that happened between them and everything they felt. 

[mhaccunoval]

dude, could you give me movie recommendations then??

mainly i said i should stop giving recommendations because my movie tastes and opinions are Wack sbshjsbjhsbs but i will make an exception <3

i mostly just scoured my letterboxd (@/eroscalling ;] ) for movies i’ve really liked in the past year or two so sorry if you’ve seen some sbshjsbsh a lot of brain worms here sbsjhbshs

❥ freaked (1993)

it was inevitable that something alex winter and/or keanu reeves would show up on here but HERE ME OUT !!! you may think to yourself in the first ten minutes that ‘WOW this is terrible’ and you’d be right because the comedy IS awful except. it’s SO awful you have to laugh. and THEN it gets better from there, i swear. there’s the dichotomy within ricky over being himself AND a monster, some found family, and a happy (yet still hilarious) ending to it all. it’s quite insanity inducing 

[actual description: child star ricky coogan is interviewed on the story of him flying out to a small country in south america to help promote a fertilizer that’s been banned in the US, only to end up at a desolate freak show with his two companions (one new, one old) and have to find a means of escape after a mad scientist has turned them into attractions themselves]

———

❥ private romeo (2011)

another one i’ve been kinda back on my bullshit about sbshjsbsh but it’s SO good !!! i’m sure there are other gay romeo & juliet adaptations out there but this one is just. amazing and sets itself apart from all of the others. seth numrich and matt doyle’s acting and chemistry? IMMACULATE !!! pretty early on the dialogue switches from modern speech to recitation of lines from the play but everyone’s body language and interpersonal relationships with one another really SELL the plot and help you understand it, even if the words are a bit difficult for the average person to comprehend (also it was the film yassen and i got together because of so sbshjbshs)

[actual description: one weekend, the higher ranking officers and a few top qualified students at a military academy go on a training retreat, leaving a decent sized group of students at the academy unsupervised and with their copies of romeo & juliet they’re beginning to read in their english/literature class; as the weekend progresses, two students, sam and glenn, begin to realize that their feelings for each other have bloomed and progressed, causing them to do their best to stay together]

———

❥ the personal history of david copperfield (2019)

I JUST THINK THIS MOVIE (and dev patel) IS NEAT !!! i have no basis on how it compares to other adaptations or the book but i reallyyyy like this one as it is !!!  i think the dynamic transitions in the timeline and the coloring work REALLY well in moving the plot forward and making every character, or at least every event in david’s life, very unique and stand out from each other. and i LOVE the cast... love the inclusion of at least a Few actors of color and just the way everyone plays off each other... it’s just so wholesome and the adventure really grips you every second

[actual description: following the publishing of his book, autobiographer david copperfield reads it aloud in front of a theatre audience, detailing the shenanigans and relationships he’s grown up with and how they’ve affected, creating the person that he is today]

——— 

❥ billy elliot (2000)

everyone say thank you to young jamie bell for your rights. yeah no this movie is SO heart-clenching AND heartfelt... at first you’re just like ‘yeah, you know, this is alright’ but then it punches you in the feels... just... billy’s journey to find something he’s passionate about and actively pursuing that passion... his relationship with michael and his family... the general atmosphere created by the hardships at the time and how they reflect on the elliotts’ home life... the only reason i haven’t gotten around to rewatching it is because i know it will make me SOB...

[actual description: young billy elliott is the son of a miner in northern england during the mid 80s, dealing with how the miners’ strikes his father and brother are partaking in are affecting their financial situation while simultaneously coming to terms with a small interest in ballet and trying to chase that interest, in spite of what his father and society have to say about it]

———

❥ the half of it (2020)

yes another gay film and another coming of age film <3 what of it <3 it’s so good and unconvential though... it’s not your typical nerdy girl and jock get together at ALL— spoiler: it’s no where close to even being a plot point. paul and ellie’s friendship is !!! so beautiful though !!! there’s so much trust and platonic love there !!! and also !!! a chinese MC which, as we all know, is very rare in hollywood, especially under uh ellie’s ‘circumstances’... it’s yet another heart-clencher and is just very feel good...

[actual description: realizing he has a crush on one of the most popular girls in school, young paul turns to the girl in his grade who everyone pays to write their essays for them, as he’s not the most eloquent writer himself, and asks if she’ll help him write his crush love letters to win her affection; ellie is at first reluctant, but eventually realizes the money could help keep her and her father afloat, finding some feelings of her own along the way]

———

❥ the farewell (2019)

i was going to stop at five but i couldn’t decide between this or the half of it so you get both !!! the farewell is soooo sweet and tear-jerking... you get a real sense of the main family’s bond and love for each other, as well as a bit of a culture shock if, like me, you’re a westerner who doesn’t know the full extent of the intricacies of chinese families and the culture in general. every character is unique and dynamic, each having wonderful portrayals of their individual flaws and reactions to every step of the journey that they’re going through. not to mention, i would assume a lot of first gen / children of immigrants can really relate to billi’s experience of basically having two halves of herself, the american side and the chinese side, and the struggles that come from being thrown into that situation... it’s just... Perfect

[actual description: billi is a young woman in her 20s who is having trouble managing her life, only to have to put it on hold when her parents reluctantly tell her that her grandmother has been diagnosed with lung cancer and that the family is going to come together in case this is their last opportunity to; the twist is that they all must keep it a secret from the grandmother that she is even sick, which is a secret billi has a hard time keeping]

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain: s1e7 - tv or not tv

y’all do NOT understand how many times i have tried to post this. tumblr just will not stop eating it. this was supposed to be out last wednesday LMAO i am doing my best.

episode summary: brain engineers a pair of Mouse Dentures that give him a charming smile. anyone hypnotised by these dentures Suddenly Adores Him For No Good Reason. unfortunately, he’s also a bit of a shut in, so nobody is actually going to see his charming smile-- unless he gets himself a sitcom.

....or something.

the rundown:

we open on brain talking about the “weird and magical power” of celebrity. he has defaced several women, and is sticking his ass out. as you do. what is he doing to CINDY! and her ilk?? he must be stopped.

“those who have it weild tremendous influence. few can avoid the enchantment of its’ spell.”

“do you know what gives them this power?”

holy shit. he just stabbed CINDY!.

pinky absolutely does not care for CINDY!’s fate. “haha. narf. hey, paddlefoot, do you know what they call a quarter pounder in france?”

of course, sirius black was not in pulp fiction, and neither, as far as i can tell, was he in france. brain silences him with “enough gay banter”, like he wasn’t just sticking his ass out in his general direction, like, two minutes ago.

(this was the 90s, y’all. gay definitely meant gay back then. this is not the faraway tree.)

“pinky! behold the key to the power of attraction!”

“pushpins!”

“hurraaaaaaaaaaaah!”

“no, pinky.”

apparently the key to attraction is a

“winning smile”, as brain points out, tapping on CINDY!’s poor mutilated face for emphasis.

“and a nice healthy gum!”

“and... a nice healthy gum.”

it turns out that brain has “taken this idea of the influential smile to a new level - a level no less than world domination“, which is bold words for Mr Tumble Dryer. to achieve this, he has invented

teeth.

(okay. so it’s a bit bigger than that. he shows pinky the plans for,

and then a prototype of, a whole machine built specifically to engineer him little mousie dentures. a lot of work went into this one. shame, really.

“when did you have time to build that?”

“while you were engrossed in your mr belvedere reruns.”

“oh, i miss him. ):” )

anyway so. brain puts his teeth in.

there he is.

pinky describes this as

“enchanting (’:”

and brain affirms that it’s supposed to be. apparently the “reflective vibrations” (okay) of his smile stimulates the medula oblongata,

“causing the viewer to adore me for no good reason!”

“zort! i’m adoring you for no good reason!”

(he does point out, while brain is admiring his reflection in a nearby bunsen burner, “what if they’re wearing sunglasses?”

brain’s response is “we’ll work nights.”)

still, brain can’t just sit around in the lab twiddling his thumbs and expect the general public to Adore Him For No Reason. he needs exposure! and as pinky ponders “what would mr belvedere do,” brain asserts that he would “eat some butter”.

“i’m afraid, my friend, that you’ve seen far too much of mr belvede--”

more like mr belvIDEA lol. sorry i’ll see myself out.

“pinky, are you pondering what i’m pondering?”

“i think so, brain, bur it’s a miracle that this one grew back. ):”

.....okay.

thankfully, the plan is not, in fact, to amputate pinky’s leg. again???? instead, brain intends to use a weapon of “great stealth, power, and corruption.”

OUR OWN SITCOM.

✨

meanwhile, at the wb studio, we meet jerry kilmer. mr kilmer is currently being harassed by some dudes who also really, really want their own sitcom. for far less nefarious purposes, presumably.

“so there’s this guy, right?”

“and get this! he designs--”

“BIKINIS.”

“TINY LITTLE BIKINIS. OKAY okay okay okay so here’s the hook.”

“HE’S PRETENDING--”

“TO BE BLIND.”

it does not appear to be what mr kilmer is looking for.

(meanwhile, the mice are spying on the acme labs janitor. he seems like a cool dude! but the mice are not here for friendship.

they sneak into his jacket pocket!

and...... steal his.... car keys? “YES. to the television station!”

✨

this isn’t even the first vehicle he’s stolen. hopefully he’ll have this one back by curfew as well.)

they do get pulled over by the police, but i don’t want to go into that. unless you guys reaaaallly want me to. instead, they park outside the studio and harass some poor receptionist.

“excuse me. we’re here to-- pitch. as they say. a sitcóm. my dear.”

i don’t know why brain says words like that.

“appointment?”

“oh, i’m sure you can--”

“work us in.” says brain. he is sticking his ass out for no reason. all the appeal is in his sparkly dentures, so.... there’s really no need for that, my dude.

✨

“you’re next! for no good reason!”

these dudes are still here. “wait!” yells our budding comedian, “wait! check out this idea. it’s about a guy!”

original.

“who always sticks his foot in his mouth!!”

clever. unfortunately, his demonstration goes wrong, and he ends up kicking mr kilmer in the face.

bonk.

gives him a nasty black eye to boot. ouch.

“ugh. can’t i ever just see someone normal?”

good thing these very normal individuals have just shown up, huh? nothing shady about these guys. “ugh, thank goodness,” says mr kilmer. they introduce themselves politely as jonathan michael charles (left) and jamal spelling (right).

“you guys have quite a look.”

“thank you.”

✨

“alright then. what do you got for me?”

“egad, brain.”

“he’s not adoring you for no good reason!!”

“drat.”

“well. we’re young hip adults--”

“and hijinks ensue!”

“who sit on a big fat couch and whine--”

“with disaaaasterous results!!”

“and have lots of generation x friends who trade zippy, sarcastic banter.”

“and i have a monkey.”

a very original concept.

at least, mr kilmer sems to think so. “hmmm. fresh. but tell me! what really brings you here. what are jamal and jonathan all about.”

“actually,  we are two lab mice involved in a broad and sweeping plan to take over the world.”

mr kilmer thinks this is hilarious, apparently.

these guys do not. but they’re not important, for the moment.

the long and short of it, anyway, is that kilmer can’t give them a sitcom because nobody knows who they are, quote unquote. “the day i see your face on the cover of peeple magazine is the day you get a sitcom.”

irritated, jamal and jonathan make their exit.

and mr kilmer laughs so hard at the idea of lab mice trying to take over the world, that he falls out of his chair.

this will become relevant later.

meanwhile -- i just had to screencap this, okay, because of brain’s face. pinky suggests that he get on the cover of peeple by marrying prince charles. and brain thinks this is a horrible idea.

he’s much more interested in princess diana. but no, pinky, the path he must follow is “the same one followed by the leading sitcom stars of the day.”

“i must become a SUCCESSFUL STANDUP COMEDIAN.”

“so hey, how about those mitochondria? do they have enough cilia or what?”

“hey, why don’t you tell a joke you know!”

this may be harder than brain thought. undeterred, though, he presses on.

“do you ever notice how when you’re looking in the mirror of a quadrant electrometre, your forehead seems large?? why is that??”

“i just flew in from cleveland! and boy are my upper extremeties fatigued by a buildup of lactic acid!”

“booooooooooooooo!” says our guy on the left.

“go back to your troll village, squirt!” says his friend on the right. “what do you say to that?”

“i find you repugnant.”

(well. that made them laugh, at least.)

“your stupidity is matched only by the ill-slipped caterpillar, that chews off its’ own wings after emerging from its’ cucoon!!!”

“in fact! all of you! are just a gaggle of pathetically misguided root diggers!!”

“why don’t you all stand under a stalactite and bellow the resonate frequency, causing it to plummet onto your cranium!!”

“you’re all repugnant i say!!! repugnant!!!”

and with that little mousie tantrum out of his system, brain trundles off to sulk.

pinky claps him on the way out.

“egad brain! narf! they love you!”

“yes.”

so then he goes on tv, i guess.

“our comedy challenger is the master of insults! the prince of putdowns! jamal spelling!”

“you’re all a bunch of crevulating nitwits with peat moss for a cortex. repugnant!”

i don’t envy that guy third from the right. he doesn’t look like he’s having a very good time. he’s sensitive about his peat moss cranium, okay? don’t make fun of him.

NEXT ON G, HOWIE TURN HOSTS COMEDIAN JAMAL SPELLING.

“so, uh, jamal spelling. what kind of stupid name is that? cmon? what’s your real name?”

this would be racist if jamal spelling was a human man comedian and not like, a lab mouse. thankfully, this is not the case.

“my real name is the brain.” says brain, helpfully enunciating the “the”. “and you, my unwashed friend, are repugnant.”

HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA.

“oh, you’re hot, baby.”

okay.

but we’re, uh. we’re not going to think about that, and we’re going to go look at the david letterman show instead.

“uh, my next guest-- paul, do you know who our next guest is?”

“daaaaave, i know he’s a beautiful kind of-- nutty cat who just got us all a-wow.”

“here he is, ladies and gentlemen! for your comedy dollar, jamal spelling!!”

jamal spelling appears to be naked.

but he’s funny, so nobody minds.

“somebody here smells like a coagulated agar slant growing in a petri dish. repugnant!”

see! he’s just too comedy for clothes.

(meanwhile, we take a short trip to the office of janet mekko. “welcome, mr kilmer,” she says.

“my... secretary sent me here-- actually, i feel kind of stupid.”

“oh, honey. that’s a good thing! if there weren’t any stupid people, i wouldn’t have any business.”

“now. ya got some paaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiin.”

(in the distance, dan reynolds - at the tender age of eight - mumbles “you made me a, you made me a believer” in his sleep.)

“yeah.” says mr kilmer, completely unaware of this. “i fell out of my chair.”

“i’m gonna hypnotise you, so relax.”

okay.

“this’ll make you sleepy.”

“what is it?”

“a kenny g album.”

“okay. you’re in a trance. i’m gonna give you a random word. if you feel pain, say that word, you’ll feel good.”

“but careful! cause if you say it when you’re feeling good, the pain will come back! bad.”

spooky.

“and your random word is--”

“repugnant.”

there is, of course, absolutely no way this can go wrong.)

let us turn our view to happier pastures. namely, the mice are watching tv.

TONIGHT ON CIRCUS OF THE STARS

HARRY DEAN ANDERSON GETS SHOT OUT OF A GIANT PASTA MAKER

COMEDIAN JAMAL SPELLING FLIES THE TRAPEZE

AND BOB SAGET GETS TRAMPLED BY A BEAR. we hope.

pinky is elated! “egad, brain! circus of the stars! narf! you’ve really made it!”

pinky wants to be on circus of the stars, don’t you know. unfortunately, as he dutifully informs brain in pretty much the same breath, he hasn’t quite made it into peeple magazine yet.

“hm. it’s time to use plan b, pinky.”

“there was an a?? poit.”

ouch. jesus, pinky.

undeterred, brain marches his merry little ass over to the old timey corded phone.

beep.

“yes, connect me with buckinham palace, please.”

“egad! you did it brain! the cover of peeple!”

rule britannia is playing in the background of this scene. let’s... not think too hard about how this works, and agree that, yes, pauly shore, enough.

no more pauly shore, please.

conclusion:

jerry keeps his word, and, upon learning that jamal spelling is now legally married to princess diana (a fact which would certainly not lead to a warrant for his arrest in a couple of years) he asks him for a demo tape.

for such small hands, jamal sure does have very neat handwriting.

“make me laugh, jamal, and you got yourself a sitcom.”

“why don’t you all stand under a stalactite and bellow the resonate frequency, causing it to plummet onto your cranium!!”

he seems to like it! kilmer makes a little hee hee noise, unprepared for where this is undoubtedly going.

“you’re repungnant!”

“AAUGHGHGHHH.”

there it is.

“repugnant!”

“i say repugnant!”

repugnant repugnant repugnant repugnant

repugnant!

and with that, jerry kilmer falls out of the window.

as he does, he yells “i’ll get you, jamal spelling” which personally i think is unfair. jamal couldn’t have known, surely? don’t be mean to jamal. he’s got a lot on his mind, what with that restraining order against howie turn.

meanwhile, in the lab, the mice debate a good pitch for a pilot (i’ve got it, brain! it’s a show about nothing!) when jamal spelling gets a call.

“hi jamal! this is nina from the tv station. could you come down for a meeting?”

“mm hmmm.”

✨

it’s the WB.

as nina types away, jamal and jonathan enter casually, like this is their house, or something. “are you pleased to see us?” asks jamal, in a cocky, egomaniac labmouse sort of way.”

“yes i am!”

(nina somehow doesn’t notice.)

anyway then these guys find the dentures and pitch the first idea that comes into their heads.

“hey cortex! what do you wanna do tonight?”

don’t ask why mouse dentures fit a human man. we suspend our disbelief here.

(also there was no way this was brain’s fault. he couldn’t have known. outside influence it is. a shame, really.)

brain: 7 pinky: 7 outside influence: 14

thanks for the fun meme, @shuunthenonbeliever​ !

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Month of New Operatic Works #4: L’heure espagnole (Glyndebourne, 2012): Reactions

While I am resting today, might as well continue my new-to-me opera journey. @rayatii​, what are you getting me into???

ooh pretty (also I like all the clock noises)

yeah this set is so eclectic and I love it (same goes for this orchestral prelude)

omg I love his expressions

“let’s awkwardly stare directly into the camera like we’re on The Office”

is his uncle Escamillo by any chance

what is on your eye

she’s amazing and beautiful *dies*

you’re the one who’s supposed to know that, buddy

it’s literally your job

well this is awkward (but I love both of you)

oh wow

okay I’m dead

very impressive moves of you, sir

I cannot

“no time for poetry I’m hornyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”

even the WASHING MACHINE has a clock in it omg

honestly same

“okay buddy I know you’re a tenor but chill it down by a thousand”

oh my god she PUT HIM INSIDE THE CLOCK

I stg I have facial blindness with this guy (this is now the fourth opera production I’ve seen him in and I’ve never been able to tell who he is until he opens his mouth and then I’m always “oh, that’s him, that’s Paul Gay”)

BAHAHAHAHAHA

OH wow EVEN WITH A DUDE INSIDE HE’S GOT IT

(also I wonder how the guy inside the clock, as well as the singer, feels about this?)

when you wanted to get some but your girlfriend is working with “clocks” (remove one letter and you have it)

omg he’s going to hide in the other clock

“a little help getting in???”

okay he made it in

his cuckoo sounds are amazing

mood

omg this gets more hilarious every time

(also I can’t believe that this is now the SECOND time that one of the lovers has been smuggled in a clock up to the bedroom)

“oh for Christ’s sake enough of this just take me now”

this guy is everything

HE’S HIDING IN THE CLOCK AGAIN

with all my sheer glee at the events taking place, I have neglected to mention how lush and fun the score is

her expressions are incredible

if I have to do chores this is how I want to do them: singing seductively to an iron while wearing a flowery robe and heels and my hair all messy

Area Mezzo Is Now Horny For Baritone In Addition To The Tenor And Bass For Whom She Is Already Horny

(gotta cast your net across the vocal type spectrum, am I right???)

annnnnnnnnnnnd they’re gonna go make out now

that awkward moment when your girlfriend has left you and another dude stuck in clocks in order to make out with a third lover

how about you just leave instead of waxing poetic until you get caught by the husband, mmm???

WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU

HE TRIED TO HIDE IN THE OTHER CLOCK BUT IT WAS ALREADY TAKEN I’M DEAD I HAVE DIED

the bass dude said he was inside the clock to examine the pendulum and this Cute Tenor Dumbass fell for it

hahaha they got out of the situation by buying the clocks lol

omg (AND he got the flower from the mezzo and put it in his hair. we love to see it.)

well he finally got out of the clock

ohhhhhhhhhhhh so the husband already kinda knows but is rather chill about it??? nice #openrelationshipftw

caption this

“hey this is MY moment stop ruining it for me”

I love all these people so much

not sure if this counts as polyamory but I think it does so yay

and off these two go!

I LOVED THIS SO MUCH

[sweepseven]

How would you rank the protagonists of every cirque show and why?

oh MAN you are really delivering the fun asks. I’m going to stick to shows I’ve seen live (or at least have extensive knowledge about) and shows with clear leads. Let’s make it a countdown!

13. Kurios/The Seeker - I often forget he’s even in the show, and when I remember, I don’t really know why. The show would be just as effective if Klara, Nico, and Mr. Microcosmos showed up out of nowhere, and the end moment with the suitcase is the only indicator that he was ever on any sort of journey at all. I know people like his design but for me he is exceptionally forgettable. Sorry Seeker. :(

12. Zarkana/Zark - imagine being cut from your own show, lol. It’s not his fault!! Zarkana was kind of a disaster!! Zark deserved better!! I actually have a lot of affection for him because I am compelled to love anyone Paul Bisson plays, but Cirque clearly did not share my feelings. RIP Zark. Zark/Tarantula for life. 🤙 

11. Luzia/The Traveler - almost immediately this list has become impossible because this guy is absolutely lovable. I really enjoyed having a clown lead because it meant actual clown content was thinner in this show, and by the end he had my entire heart in his hands. The protags that follow on this list just made me feel a notch more, so unfortunately he lands here. 

10. Amaluna/Miranda - no one talks about Amaluna and they should, because it’s feminist as fuck. Miranda already knows her strength, her home, and her place in it. She doesn’t need to be taught, and yet we still see her grow up over the course of the show. Any character that can perform a water bowl act in a white bikini and not present even a hint of sexuality is a well-constructed one. 

9. Zed/Zed - no thoughts, head empty. I wish I could better articulate why I like him so much but I just do. He’s so upbeat, cute, and curious - the perfect explorer for a world as big as his. 

8. Volta/Waz - I speak only for Waz 2.0, the version of him that’s a contestant for Mr. Wow and not Mr. Wow himself. I find this to be the cleaner, stronger interpretation of the show and his character benefits from it. He’s been lucky to be portrayed by such talented dancers that his emotion always explodes off the stage, and even if the show around him is a little lackluster or disorganized, there’s no denying that this is a character you want to see end the show happy. Watch Daydreaming and tell me you don’t love him too. 

7. Varekai/Icarus - this dude respects women. You can just tell. When I finally saw this show live I thought this must be quintessential Cirque romance, this is why this show is so well-loved. His relationship with La Promise puts all other Cirque couples to shame. He’s a little sulky for my taste, at least as a lead, but I adore how he shares the spotlight with the supporting characters. By the end of the show you feel like you’ve watched the story about a family or community, not just a story about him. 

6. O/Philemon - no thoughts, head empty: the original. Philemon is the quintessential Cirque everyman, and his character endures for a reason. He’s such an excellent mirror for the audience that in many scenes you don’t even realize he’s there - just like you forget you’re watching a show and not some fantastic extension into reality. I love his journey, I love his ending, and I don’t have words to describe my affection for his relationship with Le Vieux. Philemon is perfect. 

5. Corteo/Mauro - sir, I would die for you but unfortunately you are already dead. Mauro has got to be the most human Cirque character in history. Unlike so many others he’s lived a full life, and we get to see it illustrated in such dynamic, vivid detail. Some parts you can’t relate directly to Mauro as you know him, but you still feel he’s human enough that you don’t have to know or understand. You can just enjoy his funeral and the celebration for what was assuredly a beautiful, happy, and very full life. 

4. Quidam/Zoe - I’m convinced anyone with any experience with Zoe could not resist putting her somewhere in their top five. She’s so much more than a lead - she’s a symbol for Cirque’s greatest work and most beautiful era. She is the perfect singer protagonist, a beautiful blend of worldbuilding and character growth. We learn so much about her even though we see just one small, transitory phase of her life, and every viewing tells you something more or different or new.

3. Alegria/White Singer - Zoe is the perfect singer protagonist because of how she grows, but the White Singer just edges her out because of what she is. The White Singer doesn’t grow at all - she just exists while the world and audience change around her, and at the end she’s there to celebrate with you. She is an icon through and through, both in the original and in IANL. 

2. Ka/The Imperial Twins - listen to me very closely: there is nothing I don’t love about these two. They’re so close to the top of my list because they’re two of very few true protagonists in Cirque. They have distinct motivations, pasts, goals, and journeys - they leave no blanks for the audience to fill in, they can exist in any medium, and they bear the complexity of their story beautifully. And even of development aside, their characters are fun and engaging and positive and real. It’s refreshing to feel you know a Cirque character with such certainty, and we get two of them! I feel like these two have given me a lot. 

1. Kooza/The Innocent - I can’t really articulate why except to say that you never forget your first. There will always, always be a place in my heart for the Innocent. 

[woodchoc-magnum]

Lone Star Hate Watch 3x02

Disclaimer: I hate the show, you love it - that's great, please don't read this, have a wonderful day!

Eddie Diaz for beautiful, calm, cleansing energy and here we go:

Spoiler alert - the show still fucking sucks

Ah they remembered the kid trapped under the ice

Oh shit the kid has asthma

I love that the kid just drops fucking cheetos all over the floor and mashes them into the carpet.

This is why I don't have kids. Only cats.

Asthma attack plus being trapped under the ice? That's a double banger right there

100% this kid should die right

Julie Benz – babe, you could do better than Owen Strand, I promise you

This dude's woken up in Owen Strand's house in fucking terror as Owen brandishes a hot poker at him

I think Judd should be a captain

"Those 126 boys really are something" oh godddd this show is so DUMB

Like genuinely I don't recall anyone in the OG being like "oh wow that 118 crew is so amazing" jfc

And I mean Buck and Eddie jumped between buildings and rescued a guy hanging from the back of a plane LIKE? Hello

Not to mention the whole tsunami deal but WHATEVER

EDDIE SCALED A FERRIS WHEEL

And no one was like "oh wow the 118 WOW they're so amazing oh my god"

Anyway, re the boy in the ice – I'm at the part where they call 911 and Grace is talking to them, and here's what I think is going to be the explanation for how this child is inexplicably still alive. He was having an asthma attack when he fell into the water, which closed his airways, which meant he didn't breathe in any water which meant he didn't drown. And there'll also be some kind of bullshit about how the freezing water slowed his heartbeat or something.

BUT that doesn't explain how you can survive in sub-zero water with no oxygen to your brain for any length of time but it's Lone Star and of course nothing ever makes sense

You know the longer you clowns stand around talking about how TK was a firefighter in New York, the longer the kid is trapped under the ice and he should be dead already. Just saying.

Look I'm sorry but that kid should be dead.

And I feel like I'm supposed to be curious about why this guy in Owen's house was shot and stabbed but I really don't care

Other than hoping that he shoots and stabs Owen I guess

I know people were talking about how this was a good episode but I've literally just checked the time and I'm only ten minutes in

Which means I have another 30 minutes of this hard-to-watch, bad snow effect TV show

I guess maybe if you like, care about the characters, you might be invested? But I just don't care about any of them (except Judd and Grace, Billy and now Julie Benz)

Oh I also forgot that Marjan crashed her car in last week's episode, so guessing she's still trapped in there

I'm also supposed to be working and instead doing this, so... yeah.

This Paul trapped in a collapsed building storyline is very reminiscent to me of Hen trapped in a building in Season 2

(which was way better because I could actually see what was going on)

God the earthquake in Season 2 was fucking great, wasn't it? Buck and Eddie scaling the building, Hen getting trapped, Bobby and Chimney trying to rescue her, that guy falling out the window and splattering on the pavement… 10/10 absolute banger

How the fuck is this kid possibly still alive

I love this scene of TK hitting ineffectually at the ice, can't wait until he falls in

HAHA he just fell in

Is it too much to hope that TK dies

It is, right

I love these two onlookers are just letting Tommy and Nancy pull TK and the kid free and are doing absolutely nothing to help

"you're not dead until you're warm and dead"…. Yeah I'm thinking my theory on this is going to be 100% correct

Lindsay babe you are so damn hard on yourself

My god girl

I don't care about any of this mopey bullshit

Oh please let it collapse again

Now the water pipes have burst which means they could freeze and also drown? No they stopped it so no drowning, just freezing

"Survival window went to minutes" then WHAT ABOUT THE KID UNDER THE ICE HUH

I just feel like a lot of my thoughts on this episode and the first one have been a lot of worrying about the kid under the ice

The show is interesting, and then it shifts to Owen and completely falls flat again

Now the guy with the bullet wound, who was terribly traumatised by Owen branding him with a hot poker, has escaped

I just think the snow effect makes the show look even more washed out than usual

Nobody has done literally anything to help TK at this point

I hope he dies

I just think this kid should be dead.

He's been under the ice for like an hour you guys, he should be fucking dead

But OF COURSE HE ISN'T

And the show's like "the kid's fine" but then TK is going to almost die

"Where's TK" oh here we go

Now Paul is making the poor girl strip

You know as much as I hate the heat in summer, I'm really thankful that snow is not something that I will ever have to worry about

I miss the OG

I miss Eddie Diaz

TK's out wandering in the fucking snow like an Abominable Snowman

HE HAS HYPOTHERMIA YOU FUCKING IDIOTS

HE'S NAKED

HE'S FUCKING NAKED

THIS IS SO DUMB

HE'S GOT THE SNOW BRAIN SCRAMBLIES

(off topic but there's this line in the excellent 1999 movie "Armageddon" that makes me laugh every time and this scene reminded me of it - when they're on the asteroid and Steve Buscemi goes crazy and starts shooting everything up with a machine gun (yeah it's a fucking GREAT MOVIE you guys), Bruce Willis says, in all seriousness - "He's got space dementia." And I really think that line applies to TK here - "He's got snow dementia.")

Like I know you guys were saving the kid but like, he really needed some attention as well, is all I'm saying

You know when people talk about Buck getting whumped on the OG, this is what they want

And the OG has never done this to Buck

Like we couldn't handle it if Buck was naked on the OG, we would all spontaneously combust and Tumblr would meltdown

That's why people like this episode, because everyone's in danger and TK is getting whumped again, like he does in literally every single season

I'm not saying he's a Mary Sue damsel-in-distress, but I'm also not NOT saying that

I'm 30 minutes in, we're nearly at the end

I'd laugh if the jackhammering caused the building to collapse

And now Paul's passed out

Hey Marjan is still trapped in her car I guess

Oh god the thing that pisses Paul off is that they CLOSED THE 126 are you FUCKING SERIOUS

If I eyeroll any harder I'm going to get eye cramps

Fucking complain all you want about 5a of the OG but I still prefer that to this schmaltzy CRAP

I'm so bored.

By the end of this episode we'll have Paul with hypothermia, TK with hypothermia, Owen lost in the wilderness (probably with hypothermia) and Marjan trapped in her car (potentially with hypothermia)

Judd and Grace, loves of my life

Judd is the best, most devoted husband

Oh here's Marjan, still trapped in her car

Now she's gonna get hypothermia

I've typed "hypothermia" more in this than I ever have in my entire life

Now Owen's fallen down a small incline

And HE'S going to get hypothermia

Oh the kid in the ice is going to make a full recovery, well, no fucking shit Sherlock - also they give absolutely no explanation for this so my theory still stands

TK's in a coma I guess

I hope he dies

I hope Owen dies too

Maybe the show would actually be worth watching without the Strands

Owen's in a barn with a bunch of immigrants, if this turns out to be some kind of white saviour shit in the next episode I swear to god

And he doesn't know that TK is in hospital but honestly, he barely remembers that TK is his son at the best of times so I'm not really sure that's going to matter too much to him

I don't care about any of this

Oh the guy Owen rescued has a gun and he's the bad guy and I don't care.

In summation - this show sucks and I don't care.

I'm also always really surprised when I read stuff like "oh this was actually a really good episode!" like in comparison to what though? Because they all suck. This show is terrible. It's just stealing from the OG at this point.

Hit predictions - TK wakes up with Carlos by his side, they reconcile after a few episodes, the 126 is saved, Owen rescues all those illegal immigrants... yeah. It's going to be so fucking great.

Eddie Diaz to cleanse: