#and this def has inspo from my road trip yesterday

[l4long-winded]

ooh i have a lil carmy something for u~ something v silly and totally whipped carm just can’t believe reader is his girlfriend and she chose him 🥹 u can make it whatever genre u like since i adore everything i read from this mwah

there's insecurity behind this. a question of deserving or not. the answer, to carmy, is simple: he doesn't. he doesn't believe he deserves you, not even on his best day.

he does little things for you besides the obvious (which is cooking up meals to show his affection, confiding in sydney often about what you may like or appreciate, and then overcomplicating things despite how she reminds him how you'd be happy with a plain sandwich). irons clothes when he can't sleep, brews your coffee in the morning, picks your favorite fruits at the farmer's market, and there's the way he yaps to people about you.

sometimes at work, sometimes to strangers. he's not used to this. being enamored like this, anxiously afraid of losing you, and oddly waiting for someone to tell him that this is all a fluke. you're not his. you never were. you're entertaining him perhaps out of pity, perhaps because of the mask he's mastered around you, or perhaps until something inevitably better comes along.

until that time comes, carmen sits back to observe you. you're currently jamming out, his phone in your hand that's operated as the dj, skipping songs and typing them in according to your instruction, dancing along to the music as you drive. he finds himself unconsciously rocking along with you. specifically you, not the rhythm of the music, you. he craves syncopation.

eventually, you catch wind of carmen's eyes while stopped at a red light. you look at him, breathing out a happy laugh. you stole your glances, knew he was watching you almost this whole time.

even as you took the scenic route.

"have a question or something?"

"no," he rubs his knuckles over his lips, "just... admiring a little."

you playfully roll your eyes at his antics despite the flip your stomach does. the light turns green, your attention mostly back on the road, hands gripping the wheel as you subconsciously lessen your dancing under the awareness of carmen's gaze.

"so, you're gonna stare at me this entire time?"

carmen takes a moment to think about that. he really can't believe how he landed you. he really can't believe that he's kept you this long. that negative voice in the back of his head tells him to dwell on this because who knows when you'll come to your senses. he has now with you. in the present moment, you're beautiful. lively. tragic. all his.

"yeah... yeah, i think i am."