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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

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Let’s Talk: Jimin’s & Tae’s confessions (RUN Episode 141)

by Admin 1

Originally, I planned on writing a summary or vmin cut of the RUN episode but then I transcribed Jimin’s and Tae’s confessions and it got me thinking, and now here we are. Instead of a summary here are some of my musings and thoughts about their confessions and how they are right in line with things they’ve said in the past, and even quite recently, as well as how it fits with something Namjoon said in 2020 about them as well. I hope this will at least be somewhat interesting.

So, first, let’s look at Jimin’s confession, since this is longer and was first in the episode:

Jimin’s Confession

Jimin: Sometimes I am blunt. I’m like that at times.

Na PD: Taehyung, has Jimin ever said anything bluntly to you?

Tae: Nowadays, he's really putting in effort to fix that to the point where it rarely happens anymore. Jimin tends to be very hard on himself, which also broke our hearts to see.

Na PD: So, he gets stressed from himself, then gets mad at himself...

Tae: Then gets mad at himself.

Na PD: ...and then he blurts remarks.

(here it was a bit unclear (for me at least) which of the two said which line so I’m sorry if I mixed them up)

Jimin: It’s something I want to be forgiven for.

Tae: But Jiminie being blunt and me being blunt is completely different. Jimin has a kind hearted nature on the regular.

Na PD: Right.

Jimin: Are you usually not like that?

Tae: I’m, well...

The other members stop Tae, since it’s not time for his confession, and instead the question is posed by JK if they forgive Jimin to which everyone says yes.

Tae: You’re innately kind at heart. stretches out hand for handshake.

Jimin: Thank you. Jimin thinks (?) Tae might be going for a fist bump since he gives him his fist instead, which Tae still takes and shakes.

The first thing about this that caught my attention, as well as one of our anons, was the fact that instead of choosing literally any of the other members, Na PD turned to Tae and asked him to verify if something like that (as in Jimin being blunt) ever happened toward him. You could say we’re thinking too much here, interpreting too much into it, and yet it doesn’t change the fact that he chose to ask Tae. Of course it could be because he said at the start of the program that he feels closest to Tae since he heard about him from two of his Wooga squad friends, but it might’ve just as well been because he watched the members for a while already at that point (since they’d already been filming a few hours) and perhaps he did notice how Tae and Jimin naturally gravitate toward each other, have this special bond? Other people who worked with them in the past noticed it, so why wouldn’t he?

There’s actually moment where Jimin turns and says Taehyungie like he wants to ask him something or say something to him which isn’t in the subs and the members don’t notice it either so Jimin never got to actually say whatever he wanted to say. Also, we’ve all seen how Tae and Jimin behaved during the game in the previous episode, how happy, smiley and giggly they were while being silly together.

Then the actual confession itself, Jimin saying that he can be blunt at times, toward others but also especially toward himself. We’ve heard many times from Jimin about how much of a perfectionist he is, how he can get mad at himself for mistakes, how he sometimes speaks without thinking which can end up a bit mean/blunt, and now he’d like to be forgiven for it.

This actually reminded me of something he said to Tae before:

FESTA 2020 from 42:56 min onward (context - the question was: have you felt disappointed in or sorry to the member to your right?):

Jimin: For Taehyung I should say if I compare those two feelings to him I was more hurt than sorry. Over time, it was reversed. Now I don’t feel slighted. I’m more sorry about things. Back then we were buddies so we had a lot of disagreements or didn’t admit that we were wrong. So I felt disappointed about little things. Now he listens to me well so I feel sorry that I talked to him harshly and every little thing.

The last line especially sticks out to me. I know there’s some language nuance here that got lost in translation which wisha mentioned when the FESTA 2020 video was posted (but is now gone since her twt was suspended), and yet it doesn’t change that fact that it fits with Jimin’s confession, how he was harsh to Tae in the past but now feels sorry for it, and with what Tae said, that Jimin is now making an effort to fix that behavior, to not be so blunt/harsh anymore.

It’s so interesting to me to see these mentions of what could be seen as character flaws over the years, things that make them inherently human. Also it fits with what we know about the evolution of vmin, how they used to have disagreements, have issues with proper communication but over time worked on it, got better at it to the point where they can now understand each other by just looking into each other’s eyes, and Tae’s words about Jimin, how he’s an angel, the warmest person he ever met, and now how he has a kind hearted nature, therefore the bluntness is not taking away from it in any way.

There was also something about this in Jimin’s solo RollingStone interview which caught my attention:

(btw, if you haven’t yet, I highly recommend reading the main and solo RollingStone interviews because they are really, really good!)

Taehyung’s confession

Tae: Compared to the other members, I’m very lazy. Once I’ve set my mind on something, to get that into action, it takes me up to 2 months. I’m start working out, then quit. I’ve quit projects midway too. I’m the type where if I’m not feeling it, I don’t do it. There are times when I feel sorry to the members.

Someone (I can’t pinpoint the voice): How would be summarize this?

Jimin: You’d usually call this as “irresponsible”. He lacks responsibility,

Tae: I’m still an amateur.

Na PD: “I lack responsibility and am lazy”. Is that how we can understand it?

Tae: Yes.

Jimin: To be honest, we don’t think it’s to that extent, but if that’s what he feels... we forgive him.

Something I love about what Jimin said (in far fewer words than I will use because you know me, I can’t keep myself short) is that he essentially did two things at once, being: he assured Tae (and the viewers) that him and the members think differently, don’t see it as severely as Tae does himself, and then he also acknowledged the validity of Tae’s words, that even if Jimin doesn’t agree with him, Jimin knows that those feelings are still valid, that that’s what Tae feels and that, at the end of the day, even if the members don’t agree, they can’t change Tae’s mind, can’t force him into seeing things differently. The only person who can do that is Tae himself, and that’s okay. Jimin and the other members will still quietly support and reassure him when needed until he’ll “fix” this weakness, if that is something he wants to do.

This really shows how in tune with Tae Jimin is, but also how emotionally intelligent he is. Beautiful. Also, notice how Jimin said that without being asked to do so, which will come into play again a little later in this post and why I point it out specifically again.

Listening (or rather reading along) as Tae said that, it reminded me of something he said a few months ago:

Taehyung BE-hind Story Interview from 5:49 min onward:

Q: How do you cope when it’s hard to work/with these situations?

Tae: I’m very true to my emotions so uh...if I can’t write the songs or can’t come up with a title I just don’t. Like now!

Yoongi: That’s actually the best way.

Tae: I just don’t write it like how I’m doing it now, and I don’t want to be pressured to create something against my will.

Yoongi: It’s not like you have to finish a song within a day or two?

Tae: Right! So I’ve been taking some rest for about four months now. Now that I’m resting for four months...

Yoongi: Wasn’t your mixtape supposed to be out last year?

Tae: The mixtape that was supposed to happen last year was postponed. I should be in a state full of emotions right now, but I haven’t reached it yet. It’s like...my first mixtape so I want to feel that satisfaction when I release it whenever that time will be.

Yoongi: That’s why you have to finish the whole thing while you’re at it...

Tae: Yes.

Yoongi: ...or else it takes too long to finish it. So, you have to finish it within that period.

Tae: Right.

Yoongi: I’m guessing you might’ve missed the time.

The thing though is that what Tae said, that if he doesn’t feel it, he won’t do it/finish it, that just shows how much of an artist he is, how much his art truly matters to him, and how important it is to him that his art, in this case his music, turns out just the way he wants it to or else he won’t finish it or release it. And while Tae might call this “irresponsible”, I don’t think it’s that in this case, or that it’s a sign of laziness either, though just like Jimin, I don’t want to invalidate his feelings either. All I want to bring across is how in the context of his music, this isn’t a weakness or flaw, even if it might seem like it, especially in their line of work with deadlines, schedules and plans made weeks and months in advance where, usually, you can’t just take a four month break.

So, in that regard, I can understand how it can feel like a flaw to him, make him feel guilty about it and sorry to the members who in this case might rely on him to get something done on time and he might not do it, or not without forcing himself to do it or being dissatisfied, you know what I mean?

Earlier today Tae was on weverse and answered a few questions about his mixtape (though I have a feeling it really is time for ARMY to stop asking him about it and just let him breath) where he said that even though he got a song from someone and made ten himself, even with that break he took according to his BE interview, the songs just aren’t what he wanted them to be and thus he decided to start again.

Some could say it’s again a case of him being irresponsible the way he characterized it during the RUN episode, that even though he said last year he was almost done and would release it soon it ended up being postponed and now he started over again, but once again I think it just shows how very important his music is to him, and therefore I’d actually call it a strength. It shows how valuable his artistic expression is to him, to create music the way he wants to, at his own pace, and only release it once he feels it’s right.

One more thing, just like I said in the intro of this post, Jimin and Tae jumping in to assure the other, reminded me of something Namjoon said during his Map of the Soul : 7 vlive last year:

The context is a little different, but I think it’s still valid here as well, how Tae and Jimin made excuses for each other, how Tae immediately softened how harsh Jimin’s own words about himself might come across, assured both us and Jimin that really he has a kind heart despite this weakness, and then also Jimin by saying that things aren’t as bad as Tae makes them seem either. It’s interesting to really see something play out in a manner similar to what another member said about them based on having been with Jimin and Tae for the last nearly ten years.

Whoever claims that BTS just play out concepts or “plots” and characters given to them by the company really should just take a seat and stop. I mean, sure they all have a sort of persona they embody in front of the camera, at least to a certain degree, they’ve spoken about that numerous times, but they are still humans with flaws and their own dynamics between each other away from the cameras which, logically, also come across on camera as well, not always but enough for us to pick up on it. And in this case, with these confessions during RUN, we saw something that we previously only really heard about happen right in front of us proving (not that they have to prove anything to us, of course, we should simply trust them and what they tell us) that it really is that way.

Here’s the anon I mentioned earlier:

From anon: It might just be me lol but I think rather than Jimin forgetting he's being filmed for a show (with all those members of staff as onlookers as well) and blowing a kiss at Tae / blowing on Tae's chest, he probably just noticed a tiny bit of lint or fluff on Tae's cardigan or mic and decided to blow it off... Of course, if that was the case, that still reveals their high level of intimacy and the fact that even when interacting infront of strangers they seem to be unable to stop showing exactly how tuned into each other they are... I don't think it's a coincidence that Na PD chose to ask Tae, of all the members, to verify Jimin's statement about his flaw. He was probably observing them all day and noticed how particularly close they were, even amongst all the extremely close members.

#vmin #Jimin #Taehyung #BTS #BTS RUN episode 141

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belovedbangtan · 4 years

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Simple Things | jjk

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||| Masterlist |||

𝙿𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶: Boyfriend!Jungkook x Reader

𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃: 3.5k

𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚈: Based on the song Simple Things by Miguel! Highly recommend listening to the song before reading! (song fic request are my FAV, give me more please!?)

𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂: Weed Smoking, Language, Sexual Content: grinding, teasing, nipple play, choking, unprotected sex (be safe!), Dom!jk, Sub!Reader if you squint, After care? Its also really fucking cute and fluffy.

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A cloud of smoke hung in the air, as you press the joint to your lips. Inhaling deeply, feeling the familiar burn in your throat. Some new r&b track playing softly in the background. Jungkook’s long legs resting comfortably over your lap, you pass him the joint. He sets his phone to the side to sit up and take it from you. As mundane as it sounds, this had become somewhat comfortable for the two of you. He blows the smoke out, passing it back for you to finish. Placing the remainder in the ashtray as Jungkook starts laughing hysterically, his infamous cackle bouncing off the walls; easily one of your favorite sounds.

“This video was from last year, watch this…” He sits up bringing the phone close to your face. You watch an extremely drunk Jimin dancing chaotically in the middle of a crowded club. The phone pans to the VIP section, and Taehyung hyping him up. You don’t miss the obnoxiously attractive women that crowd the same area. Your eyes widen and you start to laugh too. It reminded you of when you and Jungkook had first started dating. For the first few months, every weekend was spent with your friends in overcrowded clubs. Fun times, no doubt, but you were happy with your new normal.

Jungkook dismisses himself to the kitchen, mumbling something about having the munchies. You giggle at your predictable boyfriend, extending your legs into the spot where he was laying. Pulling up Snap Chat on your phone, not surprised to see Jimin and Taehyung’s stories. Almost as if they were trying to replicate the memory Jungkook just showed you from a year ago. Drunk as hell, beautiful women, VIP section, it was something to envy from the outside looking in.

You laugh to yourself, thinking back on your own memories. At the start of your relationship, seven months ago, it was much different. Frequently bar hopping with friends whenever we were able to. Once we discovered that we preferred just being in each other’s company, the partying slowly came to an end. You were happy with that though. You loved smoking and hanging out with your best friend, who also happened to be your boyfriend. You find yourself replaying Jimin and Taehyungs story, until you click on Jungkook’s; nothing. Peaking behind you to see him finishing off an apple, you start to think.

You were comfortable with spending your nights like this. Having moved in with each other a month ago, you loved being able to spend your free nights together. Watching a movie, cuddled up on the couch, listening to music, experimenting with food. Whatever you did, it made you happy. This was the first time you wondered if maybe he felt different than you. What if he wants to go out but doesn’t say anything because he knows how much you love staying home?

You get up from your spot on the couch, a stolen pair of Jungkook’s sweatpants hanging around your hips, while his t-shirt hides all your curves. He’s singing to the soft sounds coming from the speaker, and he looks so ethereal. His long bouncy waves, floating back and forth over his eyes; always made you want to brush his hair back. His outfit matching yours since you were wearing his clothes. The grey sweatpants looking sexier on him than on you, although he would argue that statement.

You hop onto the countertop letting your legs hang over, “Do you want to go out?” you blurt out, attempting to sound nonchalant.

He pauses, quickly turning to look at you. His face screwing up with confusion, “What? Like… tonight?”

You press your lips into a hard line nodding at him, which only makes him look more confused.

“Right now? You want to go out?” He asks you again to confirm as he slots himself in between your legs. He wraps his arms around your waist, letting his thumbs slide against the inside of your waist band.

“I mean, if you want to. I’m good with whatever,” You murmur, still attempting to be nonchalant.

“Well… if you don’t want to go out… why would I?” He giggles softly before pressing his lips to your nose.

“I thought maybe you’d want to party with Jimin and Tae, it’s been awhile since we’ve been out,” you try explaining simply.

He tilts his head to the side, seeing straight through your bullshit.

“Actually, I do wanna go somewhere,” He starts, pulling back and walking over to where our shoes are laying, “walk to the grocery store with me, we have like no food.”

You roll your eyes but you follow his lead slipping your shoes on. The grocery store was in walking distance, which was quite dangerous when you both had the munchies.

The wind is harsh but overall, the night is beautiful. The street is on the quieter side since its late into the night. Jungkook pulls your hand out of your hoodie and laces his fingers with yours before putting both into his hoodie. You look up to see him already smiling down at you.

“Baby, why did you ask me to go out tonight, honestly?” his voice is soft and laced with curiosity.

You sigh. You try not to feel insecure, but it was hard with him. He was perfect in your eyes, and you were… well, you weren’t perfect by any means. You constantly wondered if he would want something more, something that you couldn’t offer him. What if he needed more adventure or someone that was in his league? The bottom line was, you knew there was someone out there that could give him that; and it intimidated you.

“I don’t know, it’s just been awhile since we’ve gone out.” You tell him, although its true you know you’re lying to him.

“But you didn’t want to go out, so what would you have done if I had said yes?” He chuckles raising his brows to you.

“I would have gone, I just want to make you happy,” You look up to him and smile.

“I am happy. Right here, with you,” He leans down and kisses your cheek, ”You know that right?”

You force a smile and nod, and he seems to pick up on your hesitation, but he lets it go for now.

Your cloudy eyes scan over the chip section, while Jungkook goes to a different isle to pick out ice cream. Decision making wasn’t your strong suit, so he found you in the same isle 5 minutes later still debating.

“Okay, like spicy or cheesy? You know I hate making decisions!” You pout holding up the two bags.

He chuckles coming closer to see what the options are, “For you, my lady,” He says taking both bags from your hands and putting them in the cart. You start to giggle, reaching out to hug him.

You walk through a few more isles deciding you want to get some noodles for an actual meal. You’re debating on what kind to get, when he freezes in the middle of the conversation. Instantly you stop talking wondering what the hell has your boyfriend’s attention.

Within a few seconds you know, “Oh, if that’s what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours,” Jungkook starts singing to you in the middle of the isle. His newfound love for the song 10,000 hours was intense, he was constantly singing it to you. Your eyes widen and you start to giggle, taking his hand when he holds it out to you. He spins you into him still singing incredibly loud for a grocery store. His pulls you in and you sway to the music, still unable to control your laughing. You back away from him and you start doing ‘tik-tok’ dance moves to the pop song, Jungkook’s voice cracks as he starts to laugh at you. Within seconds he’s right there with you mimicking your dance moves, you’re both dying from laughter.

You jump when you turn around to see an old couple watching you and giggling.

“Oh my gosh, we’re so sorry!” You start laughing moving the cart out of the way while Jungkook quickly picks up the noodles and throws them into the cart.

“Please don’t apologize, you remind us of when we were younger,” The old man starts, looking at this wife adoringly, “It’s something special, to be in love with your best friend!”

You and Jungkook’s cheeks are burning red, as you hear the sweet compliment.

“It really is,” Jungkook agrees softly before looking at you, eyes filled with the same adoration as the old man.

You finally check out and begin your trek home, Jungkook insisting on carrying all the bags if you feed him some gummy bears. His left arm hangs around your shoulder while you alternate giving him a gummy bear, then yourself.

“Those were some pretty sweet moves back there,” he giggles

You start to laugh again shrugging your shoulders, “Yeah… yours were alright,” you mock. Jungkook gasps sarcastically.

“If I didn’t have this bag of food, I would dance battle you right here!”

“You mean… you would lose a dance battle right here?” You say confidently, before your start to giggle. You slowly look up at him only to see him glaring down at you jokingly, you reach up pressing a red gummy to his lips. You can’t help the belly laugh when he quickly nips the gummy out of your fingers nearly biting you.

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Finally, back home, he made the noodles as soon as you stepped into the house. Both of you singing loud to the music that plays in the background. You switch back and forth between both bags of chips, doing a happy dance when the flavors hit your tongue. His giggle pulls you from your food daze.

“Why are you laughing at me!” You push your lips out pouting as you crunch.

“Your little food dance, it’s one of my favorite things you do,” He imitates you with your little butt wiggle you do while he brings his noodles to his mouth.

“That’s not it,” you giggle showing him what you actually do, “you have to move your shoulders too!” You demonstrate taking a bite of your own noodles.

“Why are you so cute?” He giggles. You shrug cutely before poking your cheeks with your fingers. When you finish eating, he takes your bowls to the sink, and you decide to make your way over to his side of the counter. He turns around after washing the two dishes. You lean into his chest and he wraps his arms around your shoulders, leaning forward to take in the clean smell of your hair before kissing the top of your head multiple times.

He tugs at your chin so you’re looking up at him. He brushes his thumb over your cheekbone, lightly pushing your hair behind your ear, “You seem more like yourself now,” He presses his lips to yours lightly.

“What do you mean?” You ask, pushing yourself up so you can steal another kiss.

“Earlier, you asking to go out. I’m still confused about that…” He grazes his thumb over your bottom lip before looking into your eyes. You could tell that a part of him was worried. You sigh, knowing that it was out of character for you.

“So… maybe I thought that you wanted to be out partying,“ you try to pull back but his arms are around you tight, “Like Tae and Jimin are, with all of those beautiful women.”

His brows nit together as he processes your words, “Why did you think that?”

You take a deep breath deciding to tell him about your frequent insecurities. All of your fears and doubts about your perfect relationship, you told him all of them. He listened closely with his arms secure around you the whole time, his grip never faltering.

“Just… you know, I want to make sure you’re happy with me, so you don’t want to find someone who can make you happier,” you mumble, his face melts with the last sentence.

“Baby,” Its all he says, shaking his head slightly, “You make me, so happy. So happy sometimes that I wonder if this is real.”

“You’re so perfect for me. You know, a free-spirit, with a wild heart,” He sighs deeply cupping your cheeks in his hands, “I just want someone real, someone true.” He murmurs pressing his lips to yours again. He pulls back slightly before leaning in to hover just above your ear, “I need you to smoke with me baby.”

You smile, letting him pull you to the couch. He sits in the corner of the couch pulling you close to him, while he lights the joint that sits on his lips. Inhaling deeply before passing it to you. You both finish it off, and before you know it you’re laughing about who knows what. He pulls you onto his lap, you set your legs on both sides of his. Your body feels warm, maybe it’s because of high, or maybe its because of how much you love him.

His eyes are heavy as he stares up at you his fingers finding their way beneath the loose t-shirt on your body, “Are you happy with me?” He asks out of nowhere, “is there anything I could do to make you happier?”

You take a deep breath, the THC making it hard for you to think too deeply about the answer. You didn’t need to think hard because it was simple, you were happy.

“I just want the simple things,” You say quietly leaning forward to capture his lips in yours, “Someone to smoke with me, laugh with me, lay with me,” You kiss him between each phrase, you pull back to make sure he has your attention, “I just want you.”

He smiles big, taking his hand and wrapping it around the back of your neck to pull you close to him. You brace yourself against his chest, noticing the way his heart feels like it might beat out of his chest. His lips attach to yours but this time it’s needy. He presses into them letting his tongue dance along your lower lip. You feel him start to harden beneath you, and you can’t stop yourself from grinding down onto him. The moan that finds its way from his mouth to yours makes your body weak.

He pulls you closer to him, bringing himself forward on the couch. You wrap your legs around his waist, as he gently pulls his t-shirt from your body. Palming at your tits as soon as his eyes hit them. You throw your head back and he leans forward to leave love bites on the column of your throat. You reach forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders, running your fingers through his hair; tugging softly. He pulls you impossibly closer, your clothed heat pressed against his hard on. You moan into his mouth when he starts to kiss you again. Bucking your hips into him, he pulls back and brings his lips to your sensitive nipples. Massaging your left while his tongue teases the right, then switching. His hand slides up to your throat and your eyes finally meet his blown-out pupils, full of lust and love. His fingers tighten around your throat while he holds you close to his body with his other arm. He turns you both, leaning you back until your laying flat on the couch. His hand still firm around your throat, he leans forward to kiss you again; pressing his hard on into your groin making you whine.

He smiles before nipping at your neck, still pressing himself into where you need him the most. The friction is making you crazy and he knows it, “Baby…” you whimper and he lets out a quiet laugh into your skin. He moves down your body slowly, leaving hickeys in his path, “What baby? What do you need?” He coos, instantly snapping his hips into yours. You throw your head back whining again, “Come on princess, use your words,” He laughs again before sucking the skin of your thigh into his mouth. The purple mark is fresh compared to the dull ones from the nights previous. It’s like it’s his own private masterpiece, he runs his thumb over it before sitting up between your legs. He looks down at you and cocks his head, your bottom lip comfortably in-between your teeth. His fingers slide under the band of your sweatpants and he starts to pull them from your legs antagonizing slow. You wiggle your legs trying to speed up the process, only making him slow down even more.

“Mm no panties?” He licks his lips as notices how wet you are, ”Tell me what you want baby,” He says again, pulling the sweatpants from his own legs.

“I want you to fuck me, Kookie.” You lean forward reaching out for his hard cock, but he wraps his hands around your wrist. Pushing them into the couch, as he hovers over your body. He looks down at you, as the tip of his cock teases your clit. Your eyes are drawn to the way the veins in his biceps are popping out, then to the way his abs flex each time he thrust forward, “Please.” You beg finally meeting his eyes, and they seem to soften at your magic word.

Reaching down he lines himself up then slides inside of you torturously slow. Both of you inhaling deeply when he bottoms out and stops. Something you both loved the feeling of in general, but when you were high it was comparable to euphoria.

“You feel so fucking tight for me princess,” He moans pulling back, dragging his cock against your walls. You want to respond but the words hang on your lips, all you can formulate is whimper. Leaning forward on his forearms on each side of your head, he nudges your face to the side. Letting his teeth graze the shell of your ear. The sound of his moans and whimpers was enough to through you over the edge. He feels it when you start to tighten around him, his teeth finding the juncture of your shoulder and neck. Pressing his lips delicately before he starts to suck hard.

“I-Im so close, please,” You start to beg, you don’t know what you’re begging for exactly, but you have a feeling that he does. He quickens his pace, leaning up and pressing your thighs further apart. He takes his thumb to his mouth, collecting his spit before rubbing it into your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. Your hips start to buck up into his thrust, having a mind of their own. He takes it upon himself to pull your hips up to his, the new position making your body react instantly.

“Right there! Oh fuck, right there Kookie!” You yell out, warmth spreading through your body from your toes to your fingertips. The familiar tight feeling in your abdomen tells you that your close.

“Fuck princess, cum with me!” he moans and just like that your body starts to shake. An orgasm hitting you like a semi, the warmth that was running through your veins turns into something new. He holds your legs still, spilling himself inside of you. The feeling alone makes you feel like you could cum again. He thrust inside you a few more times, each time your body spasming.

He pulls out admiring the way his cum drips from you, taking his fingers and pushing it back inside of you. You spasm at the action, making him giggle, “You came so hard, didn’t you princess?” He asks you, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before he starts to get up to find something to clean you with. You nod, grabbing his hand quickly before he gets too far. He looks down at you, “Lay with me, baby.”

He pauses and smiles down at you before squeezing himself onto the couch next to you, “You’re still messy,” he says.

“I don’t care, I need you close right now,” You explain before burying your head into his chest. You feel his chest rock as he laughs at how fucked out you are. It didn’t happen every time but, sometimes he fucked you so good that you felt emotional afterwards. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and you just wanted him to hold you. He wraps his arms around you, massaging your scalp with his fingertips.

“I love you so much, baby.” He says softly.

You hum into his chest, “Love you too.”

After about an hour of naked cuddling, you ask him if he wants to take a shower. He instantly perks up, wrapping you in his arms carrying you to the shower.

“If you think I would ever choose a night out over a night like this, you’re insane.”

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𝙰/𝙽: 𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔! 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜, 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎!

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#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jeonguk #jeonguk x reader #jeonguk fanfiction #jeonguk smut

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btsandvmin · 4 years

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Vmin “Everyday life”

Ok, so I might just be speaking out of some weird paranoia here, but I wanted to talk about it. If I’m wrong I’ll just keep this as a reminder that my mind likes to play tricks on me. So fair warning, this whole post might just be me over analyzing things.

Thing is that recently we have heard a lot about BTS showing their everyday life, most prominently in “BTS In the Soop” and in the upcoming “Break the silence” movie. Now the reason I bring this up is because of Vmin’s reactions to some of these things.

Of course, to begin with it seems we can at least look forward to quite a lot of Vmin in the Soop. Similar to Bon Voyage they seem to spend quite a lot of time together when they can. They also seem to end up sharing a house/room/bed? Though we still don’t know 100% it seems likely.

It also seems likely the time Vmin played games together on Tae’s account was from In the Soop. Which I guess makes it another time when Vmin don’t share private time, but rather shows something people will see through their schedules.

In this selca from In the Soop it seems Vmin might have been awake at night listening to music and just enjoying time together. Not sure we will get to see this specific moment, but again, most likely they shared a room and maybe even bed.

And not to be that person, but EVERY time BTS has been allowed to choose their roommate since the episode in Canada where Vmin accidentally ended up together (aka the first time we saw them share on camera since 2016), Vmin has shared a room. So if they do it now as well, let’s just say they seem to prefer to share if they can.

Anyways, my point here is that the slogan for the show is “Somewhere between everyday life and vacation.” meaning we get to see BTS as close to comfortably themselves as possible.

The song Vmin recommended in combination with their selca “Bruno Major - Nothing” also fits the theme very well. Just them being together, not really doing anything.

Track suits and red wine Movies for two We'll take off our phones And we'll turn off our shoes We'll play Nintendo Though I always lose 'Cause you'll watch the TV While I'm watching you

But there's nothing Like doing nothing With you Dumb conversations We lose track of time Have I told you lately I'm grateful you're mine?

Especially if we can add the red wine part to the playing games.

Anyways, the show will likely give us some more domestic and sweet Vmin, but what really got me thinking wasn’t In the Soop. Because we know how Vmin usually are during Bon Voyage and this is quite similar. No, what got me thinking we might get to see more of Vmin together just enjoying their free time together is from a few of the recent Dynamite interviews, specifically when they have gotten questions about the movie “Break the silence”.

I have seen all the gifs, but not many seem to talk about the context and timing of what Vmin is doing. This again could just be me over thinking it, but I wanted to at least get the question out there. Because I think we might get to see Vmin together more from now on... Hopefully.

BTS talks Dynamite with Liam McEwan | Radio Disney

youtube

In this interview we get a question of what we can expect to see on screen for Break the Silence. (A question they likely had on their list of questions to get asked, because a lot of interviews brought it up.) The point is that as they get the question Vmin whisper something to each other.

And then Jimin does this as Jin explains they will show how they enjoy their free time while on tour.

I mean, maybe we won’t get to see anything, but it’s interesting with the timing of what Vmin is doing and the question/explanation.

It’s a very cute moment and Vmin have truly shown us why they usually don’t sit together. But again, this focus on “a glimpse into their day to day lives”.

But just this wouldn’t be enough to really think something might be up, after all Jimin is clingy all the time… But it’s not just this.

BTS Talks Life in Quarantine, VMAs Performance, and More

youtube

In this interview, once again they are asked about the movie, and Tae is the one to answer. Not only is what he says interesting in itself, but again, Jimin is touching him. So, there will definitely be some genuine stories never told before...

Please Jimin, tell us, what is Tae hiding in his heart? What genuine stories are BTS going to share with us?

And I don’t know why people aren’t talking more about this next one.

BTS talks Dynamite, life in quarantine & the future of their music...

youtube

So here they get asked about life in quarantine and how they spend their time now when they have more of it. And Tae does something here I haven’t seem him do in a long time, but that reminds me so much of the old shameless Tae.

He asks Jimin specifically, what he is doing during his free time, and not only that... They are holding hands. Because of course they are. But I only see people talk about them holding hands, not when they were holding hands and what they were talking about.

Now, remember this was about their free time… And Suga and JK talked about playing the guitar etc. Jimin takes his time to answer, and when he does it is kind of a non answer and still work related.

Then the attention shifts to Suga but Vmin keep holding hands.

I just found it interesting that Tae specifically asked Jimin, and I still don’t understand why they held hands. Especially as they kept doing it, unlike most times when it’s just a hand shake or similar for a moment. It wasn’t brief because they kept doing it for at least a minute.

People also talk about Tae’s expression, and though I know he has a stern looking neutral face it also wouldn’t surprise me if he is a bit disappointed with Jimin’s answer for some reason. I think Tae wanted something from Jimin here, but Jimin avoided it.

There are some other small reactions to the questions about the movie in other interviews as well, but these three are the ones I feel really make we wonder what we might get. Because they keep talking about “some real revelations” for the movie as well... I still expect it to be similar to the other documentaries we have got, so I don’t know how much new things we will really learn.

But it does seem as since last year Vmin has been more open in general, which is a great thing that we get to keep seeing more and more. After Friends and Bon Voyage 4 and everything since I don’t know if there is new heights to reach, but I just wanted to talk about this a little as I couldn’t help but notice their behavior. Basically I think we might get more Vmin in Break the Silence.

These moments might be nothing at all, and it’s still just a few examples and Vmin also sit next to each other, so maybe it’s just because they happened to sit together or something. I’ll try to keep expectations low, but I still find Vmin’s reactions interesting. So I guess we’ll see.

I hope you had fun reading. :) Let’s look forward to some more Vmin! <3

EDIT: So Break the silence didn’t have anything at all, so maybe their reactions was just completely unrelated to the movie. Either way I guess we will see if we will keep getting more moments of Vmin as time goes.

#vmin #vmin analysis #vmin interview #btsandvmin #vmin friends #vmin dynamite #bts dynamite #my post #vmin gif #vmin video

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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JIKOOK: DEAR ARMY WE ARE IN LOVE

DISCLAIMER: I wouldn't take this particular post seriously. I mean it's something, but nothing at the same time. I just do these kinds of 'analysis' for fun and for my own personal amusement.

Do you see it? Or do you need me to connect the dots for you? Thought you'd never ask! Lol

I have always been fascinated by BTS's incorporation of fine art, poetry, metaphors, imageries, philosophical and psychological theories etc into their craft.

They are brilliant at expressing themselves and conveying their emotions through art and music. I have always found that challenging and mentally stimulating.

Take for example this whole Dear Army moments they shared with us on Weverse this week. Yes, it's a marketing strategy, the objective of which is to build an intimate connection with Army but most importantly hear feedback from Army on the struggles we are each facing in light of Covid 19 and also to provide feedback on why we love and stan BTS through their recommended hashtags.

Suga had already explained they were going to do this in that March YouTube live and so it's no brainer. The fun part for me, which of course is subjective, is the embedded meaning behind this whole Dear Army concept.

The progression from day to night, the use of contrast etc is all very reminiscent of the message of Bulletproof eternal- we are not seven with you. Especially with Suga and Hobi's postcard being taken directly from the BTS bonfire moment in Bonvoyage which made a cameo in Bulletproof eternal and the allusion to winter in both artworks.

The overall message of Dear Army is very simple: we had nothing but dreams, open our eyes to a foggy morning, so much pain too much crying; after seven winters and spring- we are all in this together, BTS and Army forever.

I also found the exploration of the cycle of life, the ambiguity of morning and night that blurs the line between evening and daybreak quite interesting. Its always been a recurring theme in their songs and arts. It's just them reassuring and connecting with us through their ingenuity as usual.

But of course this is just my opinion and my interpretation of their use of symbolism and allusions. And as much as I enjoy deconstructing BTS's musical genius, I'm just going to focus on Jikook's message- well not message, message but their artistic expressions in Dear Army.

JIKOOK'S MESSAGE

Now I already talked about the body text of Jimin's post and so I'm not going over that again. Jk's text is equally very much straightforward and is just a restatement of the message he shared in his recent YouTube live about rediscovering his purpose in life. So I won't focus on that either.

It's the artwork they chose that I am interested in and fascinated by. I was trying to ascertain whether the art work for the postcards where chosen randomly by staff or whether it was something the members themselves chose as at first glance it looked pretty generic- I wasn't able to confirm so...

Now from what Suga said about incorporating letters into their upcoming album, I'm just going to assume BTS themselves chose these images and the creative directors added their finishing touches to it- based on the tone and mood BTS had described.

Let's start with Jimin's. I clocked immediately I saw his postcard where the concept of that artwork or background image was from. I'll circle back to this hold on.

I value and pay alot of attention to the unique ways that each member of BTS expresses themselves. Those unadulterated, authentic expressions of self provides a better sense of who they are as Individuals rather than the perfectly curated, highly edited and performative versions of themselves we see screens. In my opinion.

Take Tae and JK for example. These two men are the kinds who'd write a song about their feelings and emotions when they are hurt. Lol. They deep for no reason. Bless them.

Jimin talks a lot. He is a verbal communicator. But hardly does he reveal any relevant details about himself that gives insight into his psyche and persona through his words. Again, in my opinion.

I keep saying his persona is very elusive to me. He tends to give us so much he ends up not giving us anything at all. Unlike Tae or even JK who write songs, recommend songs, or even GCF(JK) that gives us insight into their personal feelings, Jimin doesn't do covers as much and the songs he recommendes aren't as insightful into his deepest thoughts and feelings. He is very elusive that way.

That doesn't mean he doesn't express himself. He does, just not through his music like the others. In my opinion. Mostly he expresses his wants, his desires through his music but his sensuality through his dance.

It seems also that he explores his identity and expresses the exploration of that identity through the body arts he inks himself with temporarily or permanently.

Jk I find is the opposite. He doesn't explore his identity through his body art. Nor his sensuality through dance. Rather he expresses his values and the things he cherishes through his body art; his thoughts and feelings through his music and art.

And so while Jimin would be inking temptress, seductress, bigender on his body, JK would be inking- rather cool than dead and other symbols that represents his beliefs and values on his body.

I'm going off on a tangent, am I not? Sigh

Back to the post card. When I saw JM's postcard, it immediately reminded me of JK's GCF in Helsinki. [Couldn't attach image due to Tumblr but check it yourself]

It reminded me of JK's Frozen sunset theme, his use of warm and cold contrasting colors throughout that GCF and also the ending parts of GCF Helsinki where the sun is setting over the clouds just as in this post card- Frozen Sunset.

Jk also made an allusion to that frozen sunset in his song Still with you. I am particular about his use of the words Sky, clouds, sunset etc when they appear in his music, paintings or tattoos because he once said it's something he loves taking pictures of- that and of course Jimin.

I pay much attention to the things he says he loves and so I look for them in his self expressions to try and understand why he loves it and what it means to him.

Honestly, I didn't think much of JM's postcard art when I saw that use of the frozen sunset for his postcard. I thought, well staff could have picked it out randomly so I was waiting to see JK's postcard and the overall concept for Dear Army to see if this was something JM had done intentionally.

Part of me also felt those themes they presented in the post card art work were metaphors for the kind of songs they would be creating in the new Album just as Suga had said.

But JK's postcard art made me suspicious of JM's post card. JK's postcard art is the odd one out of all the artworks for the postcards. Sope had a similar complimentary art taken from the bonfire moment of Bulletproof Eternal as I mentioned earlier. The rest all had elements pertaining to nature- sky, parks etc except JK's.

Also the theme and symbolism of Jk's art convinces me he chose his artwork himself for that post- I mean I could be wrong but...

Remember when I talked about GCF Helsinki, Still with you and Never Not etc and I said they all had a similar theme- something about roads and paths, being mismatched, not being on the same page, not having the same goals etc?

GCF Helsinki- I'll take the desert, you take the coast to each his own.( moving in different paths)

Still with you: Though our steps may not go along together, I still want to walk this path with you.(again, mismatched paths repeated)

I was intrigued by that recurring theme of roads and paths leading in different directions in JK's music and art in this timeline especially as it contrasts heavily with the themes of his past timelines.

And I even speculated that I felt it was in reference to him and JM not meeting minds on the direction they wanted to take their relationship.

I have been waiting eagerly for him to release yet another cover or art since still with to see what that whole mismatched, separate roads thingy was all about but he didn't do his birthday cover this year- among other things.

It's thus funny to be that in this post card thingy he chose train tracks- intersecting train tracks to represent his feelings and coupled with the message of him rediscovering his passion- It doesn't feel like a coincidence to me or something staff would chose for him.

It certainly doesn't help my delusional brain cells, that JM flashed that Mickey Mouse during his VLive which again I felt was an allusion to their GCF in Tokyo.

First he is making allusions to GCF Tokyo, now GCF Helsinki, signing his name to JK's posts at Pop-ups...

Remember when I said that if JM was the one who had stopped JK from posting on his birthday, that he would come swinging hard on his Jikook agenda? Remember that?

If JK posting on his birthday was important to JM, chilee nothing would have stopped JM from logging into Twitter, posting and signing JK's damn name to his post- if saving face is what was important to him. It's not like he's not done that before. He could have done that and we wouldn't even know it wasn't from JK. Lol

He really is the one that stopped JK from posting on his birthday for whatever reason- wink. You know. Lol

Park Jimin is not the 'victim' in this birthday drama. He is guilty party your honor. Guilty per the books. Lol

Stay supporting Jikook, your life will be easier that way. Bless you.

Signed,

GOLDY

#jikook #jikook analysis #kookmin #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #kookmin analysis #goldy theories #goldy analysis #nightswithkookmin #goldy #jikook scenarios

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jalapeno-princess · 4 years

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Broken-Hearted Girl

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 8.7K

Summary: After a petty argument escalates into Mark saying some things he didn’t mean, the two of you end up breaking up on your third anniversary. For the rest of the week, you find solace in your family and you learn how to live with a broken heart.

A/N: I don’t even remember how I stumbled upon this song but after listening to and falling in love with one of their other songs “Friend’s Don’t” by Maddie and Tae, I already knew I was going to like this one also. I recommend you listen to it while reading this imagine, the song really does tug on your heartstrings. I’ve been extremely busy for the last few weeks and so I wanted to put a hold on writing (even if just for a few days) but I’ve actually been staying up till the wee hours of the morning (I feel as if I might have insomnia but who knows) and I actually had a really bad mental breakdown earlier, so I needed something to help calm me down and take my mind off of my negative thoughts. Writing is my favorite escape from how cruel this world can be sometimes (although, my writing is literal shit haha) (and i really don’t care for how I ended this and I’m actually kind of unimpressed with this story) but I hope you guys enjoy it! (I have never been in a relationship before so I haven’t experienced the pain of a heartbreak (and I’m sure knowing my sensitive ass I would actually die)

Hey, mama, how do you get a red-wine stain Out of your favorite dress? Black mascara off a pillow case Cure a one-too-many headache Mama, can I come and maybe stay a few days? This weekend or next And hey, how do you get a red-wine stain Out of your favorite dress?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart?

This was not how tonight was supposed to end. Usually, anniversaries were meant to be extremely romantic. They were meant to celebrate the amount of time you’ve been in a relationship with your significant other and to relish in the love that you had for one another; yet here you were, storming out of your boyfriend—well, now ex-boyfriend’s truck towards your apartment with tears streaming down your face.

You were too focused on getting inside and just collapsing to the ground that you couldn’t even remember how the night ended so terribly. Just a few hours ago, Mark picked you up with the intentions on surprising you for your third anniversary together.

The two of you practically couldn’t even keep your eyes, let alone your hands off of each other to the point where Mark was just going to say fuck it and show you just how much he loved you and how happy he was to be able to call you the love of his life with his head between your thighs. However, things didn’t go as planned.

In fact, you had a hard time processing that he told you he planned on spending the rest of his life with you just a few moments before the argument broke out. As soon as you unlocked the door and stumbled inside, you immediately sank to your knees and let out the most heartbreaking cry you didn’t think you were capable of. Not once in your life did you ever cry as much as you were right now.

Sure, you’ve lost a few loved ones, failed a couple of very important tests here and there and sometimes you and Mark would watch some of the saddest movies every now and then but nothing ever hurt you as much as Mark’s last words did.

My life would’ve been so much easier if you weren’t in it.

Each word felt like a stab in your gut. At the time, you knew you said some things that you didn’t mean and that you were sure had a negative effect on him; but nothing you said was even half as bad as hearing him practically say he regrets your entire relationship.

It made you overthink the last three years of being with him. Mark was in more or less words, the perfect boyfriend. He was quite the gentleman; he always held doors open for you, pushed you on the inside whenever you’d be walking on sidewalks, pulled out chairs for you, always asked how your day was going and if you were eating all your meals on time.

He knew your coffee order by heart, he’d buy you cute little things he would see that he thought you would like and he even made you a few playlists of songs that reminded him of you. He took care of you as if you were the most delicate little dandelion; but that didn’t mean he wasn’t rough or dominant behind closed doors.

Mark knew you like the back of his hand. Three years would do that to someone; he knew each and every mole, freckle, beauty and birthmark on your body. He was well aware of the scar on your knee that was shaped like Texas and how you got it from playing football with your cousins. If perfect was a person, it would be him.

Everyone who knew of him wanted to be his friend. Mark was a social butterfly; he had a tendency to be friendly and kind to whoever he encountered. His golden heart, extremely kind and generous personality was got you to fall in love with him; on top of his indescribable good looks and charismatic charm. After knowing each other for over seven years, you’ve grown accustomed to having Mark in your life.

Even before the two of you started dating, he was there for almost every milestone in your life. He was there when you got accepted in to the college of your dreams, he was there when you got an internship with a company you’ve been wanting for a long time, he was there for your first time getting drunk at the young age of 16 and he was the one to rub your back as you threw up the following morning.

With that being said, he was also there during some of the darkest times in your life. When your grandmother passed away from cancer, it felt as if your entire world fell apart. She was your best friend and you were completely devastated as soon as your mom called you and told you the news of her passing. Mark was at baseball practice around the time that you were heading to the hospital, but once he heard of what happened, he wasted no time in making his way to where you were and pulled you in to his chest the moment his eyes landed on your frail figure.

It took months of grieving, crying over her absence and Mark constantly whispering sweet words of comfort for you to come to terms with her death and you were entirely grateful that you had someone so patient and understanding as Mark was to be there for you during such a traumatic time. What was going to happen now when he was the reason why you were so distraught?

Losing your grandmother was extremely painful and even after all these years, you weren’t completely over her death. However, knowing that man you loved more than life itself no longer wanted anything to do with you was a different kind of pain. Although there were a few times in your relationship that you and Mark would disagree, not once did a fight escalate this badly before.

Your relationship was one that everyone around you seemed to envy. Everyone and their mothers knew just how much Mark loved you and it was obvious by your words and actions that you felt the exact same way. His mom always used to tell you that your love was one for the ages; you both cared for one another in ways that only people who were genuinely in love could experience. For two people who’ve been in a relationship for as long as you and Mark have, you were still in the so called “honeymoon stage” where you constantly had to be around each other even if all you did was laze around all day doing nearly nothing.

Just being in his presence always made you feel so at ease; so serene. Home wasn’t necessarily a place you lived in or just a roof above your head. Home wasn’t just a place that gave you shelter; home was where you felt the safest, the most comfortable and home was where you were happiest. For the last seven years, Mark Tuan was your home and now, you were homeless. You always felt so protected and loved whenever you were around him and you hated every moment spent away from him.

The more time you spent crying on the floor, the more you came to the realization that tonight’s events actually happened and Mark was no longer your person. Although neither of you actually called it quits, you knew by the tone of his voice and in his facial expression that it was over. Even if he were to come back to you within the week begging you for forgiveness, you don’t think you could ever forget how his words screwed you up mentally and physically.

When you decided that you had cried all the tears you had in your body and that you were wasting your time crying over someone who couldn’t give less of a shit about you, you got up from your spot right in front of the door and slowly sauntered off in to the kitchen. Anyone who knew you were aware of the fact that you hated alcohol.

You weren’t a heavy drinker, and you were sure it’s because you spent your teenage years getting high and wasted to the point where it was no longer fun to do now that it was legal. The bottle of red wine that was in the back of your cupboard was a gift from Mark’s friend Jackson for your birthday a couple of months ago and you didn’t want to seem rude by not accepting it since you didn’t care for red wine or just wine in general.

But now, you were extremely grateful for his choice in gifts and you made it your responsibility to finish the entire bottle in one sitting before you went to sleep. That’s if you could even find it in yourself to even go to bed. Your mind was filled with thoughts of Mark and what he was doing right now; if he regretted what he said, if he knew you were currently suffering and beating yourself up about the argument.

How could the two of you go from being seconds away to ripping each other’s clothes off, to you drinking imported red wine straight from the bottle to take your mind off of your broken heart? As you continued to drink the wine, it was in that moment of sitting on your kitchen floor and banging your head on your refrigerator that you noticed your front door had a dent in it. You wouldn’t be surprised if you were to go up to it and see that you broke it by how hard you slammed it out of anger, but at this point you didn’t even care.

Your mind, your heart and your body were so numb that nothing else seemed to matter and if anything, the door represented your mental state and your relationship. Seeing as how you were the definition of a light weight, it didn’t take you long to completely knock out on the hard tile. Although that last sentence continued to replay over and over; taunting you as a painful reminder that you were living your actual nightmare, it was the fact that he gave up on you so easily as if you meant nothing to him that really killed you.

Was he planning to breakup with you and used this argument to actually go along with it? How long ago did he decide he no longer wanted to be with you? Everything seemed to be going so good for the two of you; so when did he decide he had enough of your relationship? You weren’t surprised when you woke up the next morning with an extremely painful migraine and a crook in your neck.

This is why you despised any type of alcohol and never understood why Mark and his friends constantly went out to bars whenever they hung out. However, you felt as if this was going to be your way to ease the pain and knowing that alone made you want to cry again. After taking a few moments to process what you were going to do for the rest of the day, you got up to take some pain killers and to look at your current state to see how much of a mess you probably were.

Almost half an hour later, you found the strength to get up and walked to your bathroom. Your head was throbbing and your bones ached from sleeping on the floor, but nothing hurt even half as much as your heart did. As soon as you saw your reflection, you didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. You looked horrible. Your hair looked like a bird’s nest; tangled and all over the place. You had mascara stained on your cheeks, your eyes were puffy and if you weren’t so numb, you would’ve screamed at the wine stain in the dress you were wearing; your favorite dress to be exact.

Mark bought you that dress a couple of months ago because he knew it would look good on you and he was right. The first time you wore it, it didn’t stay on for too long. It was your favorite dress for many reasons; not only did your boyfriend buy it for you, but as someone who was extremely insecure with her body, no matter how many times Mark would make it known how much he loved your body and thought you were the most beautiful and sexiest woman to exist, the dress made you feel beautiful.

You wore this dress with so much confident but now, it was stained with a deep maroon color right around the chest area and it was a brief representation of the hell you were going through. Like the fool that you were, the fool who was madly in love with the person you wished you could hate right now, you checked your phone to see if he tried to get in touch with you at all and you felt your stomach sink when you saw nothing.

No texts, no calls, no voicemails, no “I’m sorry, I made a mistake”, no “I love you” or “I miss you.” Couples went through breakups all the time so why did you feel pathetic for something you weren’t at fault for? The rest of the week felt like you were dreaming the same nightmare over and over again. You could still see the anger and rage in his eyes when he told you that you were annoying and that he wasted his night with you when he could’ve gone out with his friends. You were sure there was a chance he was with them right now and you didn’t care at all.

If he was so quick to let you go without a care in the world, you weren’t going to allow yourself to cry over him no matter how much you wanted to. But you were only human. Three years may not be considered “a long relationship” and you were still kind of young to get married and settle down but you knew Mark was the man you wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of your life with. The two of you talked about your futures on multiple occasions and every time Mark would talk about his plans, you were in each one.

On the fifth day, you came to terms with the idea that it was really over. You tried lying to yourself by thinking that he was going to come back and that he just needed some time to calm down, but you gave up on that idea entirely knowing how Mark could be. Two things about the older boy that you could do without was his pride and how stubborn he could be.

He tried his best not to show you those sides of him because he didn’t want you thinking negatively of him or being afraid of him; however there were occasions where he would get in to it with one of his friends because he always had to have the last word. With that being said, you knew Mark wasn’t going to give in. He wasn’t going to initiate reconciling with you even if that’s what he wanted because that’s just who he was.

A week away from work was what you needed to really try and get yourself together again. It wasn’t until your mom called asking how you were doing and if you and Mark wanted to stop by for dinner that you realized you weren’t okay nor were you ready to go out and put on a fake smile while pretending nothing was wrong. When your mom called you, you let her go to voicemail multiple times.

Although your mom was your best friend and you probably needed someone to be there to comfort you during your heartbreak, you weren’t ready for pity or sympathy. The only person you needed was Jack Daniels. You hated what you had become in less than a weak and you hated that you allowed Mark to have this effect on you. It was only natural for you to be responding to your breakup in this way; you were only human. But you were now a pathetic alcoholic who was wasting her time crying over a man who was no longer in her life.

Three shots of vodka, two beers and one shot of tequila later and you absentmindedly left a lengthy voicemail to your mom, telling her exactly what happened all the while begging her to let you stay at your parent’s house for a couple of days. Maybe even weeks. Deep down, you knew you needed to be around people no matter how much you enjoyed being alone because your mind always found away to think about Mark.

You told her how Mark yanked out your heart and stepped on it repeatedly. You told her about getting drunk every single day for the last week, how much you hated him for what he was putting you through and how you hated that you were letting such a stupid boy control your emotions. You also asked her if your dad could come over on one of his days off to take a look at your door. She didn’t take long to respond back to you nor were you surprised when you heard her knocking on your door while she quickly pulled you in to her embrace once you opened it.

“Oh yeah sweetheart, you really broke your poor door. Come here baby, mama’s got you.”

She helped you bring your bags to the car and the two of you stayed in silence the entire ride to your parent’s house. You had a feeling she had a few questions she wanted to ask you and that there was a couple of things she wanted to say but you were glad that the only noise in her car was the sound of the air conditioner. You weren’t ready for any kind of human interaction or a conversation you knew would drive you even more crazy.

All you wanted was for your mom to rock you back and forth like how she used to when you were younger and tell you that everything was going to be okay even if you lost all hope on it being so. When she pulled up to the garage, she told you to stay put so that she could help you get out of your car and you felt like such a child. Out of all your siblings, you were the closest one to your mom and even if you were an adult living on your own with a full time job and everything, you were always going to be her little girl.

Seeing your child cry was always painful for a mother, but because the reason behind your sadness was something out of her control, she felt like she couldn’t do anything but console you and get you whatever you needed to try and make you feel better. Once you made it inside of the house, she led you to your old bedroom and let you get settled in so that she could prepare you something to eat. You didn’t have the heart to tell her you weren’t all that hungry; you haven’t had much of an appetite in the last week and you were sure she noticed your sudden weight loss.

A part of you wanted to ask her to forget about it, especially because being in your old room brought back so many memories of Mark and how he would sneak in on school nights and how the two of you would stay up talking about anything your hearts desired. Being alone wasn’t something you’d think you’d ever get used to, especially because Mark was like your shadow. Wherever you went, Mark followed and unlike most people who would probably complain about his clinginess, you enjoyed it profusely.

Knowing that Mark always craved your presence and needed to be around you to maintain his sanity made your heart flutter. This has been the longest you had to be without him and every day felt like an entire month. It’s as if time went by frustratingly slow because the universe was aware of your heartbreak and wanted to make you suffer for whatever reason you were unsure of.

Taking a look around your old bedroom, you could feel your chest grow heavy when you saw the few pictures you had of you and Mark from when you were growing up and tears were soon building up at your eyes. The two of you looked so happy together; you were just a couple of kids who dreamt about so many wonderful things that life had to offer. Little did either of you know that one day, you would fall in love with one another before you could even comprehend the meaning behind that silly four letter word.

You silently cursed to yourself for getting all worked up again; you came to your parent’s house as a way to heal on your own and to surround yourself with people who love you and care about your well-being. You just needed to have some kind of support system or else you’d drive yourself crazy back at your apartment thinking about what you could’ve done to have prevented the breakup from happening. The gentle knock on your door took you by surprise and you almost ended up dropping the frame.

She released a long sigh before she walked over toward you and took the picture from out of your hands. The last thing your mom wanted to do was to make you even more upset by saying something to trigger you or cause you to overthink. But she couldn’t handle seeing you so broken; so defeated especially because you were an actual ray of sunshine. Your smile alone could light up an entire room and your personality was so bright and bubbly, people enjoyed your company because of your enthusiasm.

As much as your mom liked Mark to the point where she would secretly plan out your future wedding with his mom whenever they’d go out to lunch together, she wanted to find him and make him regret what he did to her baby girl. She was shocked to say the least when she got your voicemail and at first, she couldn’t even understand what you were saying because your speech was so slurred and she couldn’t hear a word you were saying through your tears. Mark made it known to his surroundings that you were his entire world and all he cared about was making sure you were well taken cared of and that you were happy, healthy and got everything you deserved. You were so agitated just by seeing his photo and you wanted to scream.

He was probably already over the entire thing and although it killed you to think like this, you couldn’t help but feel as if he was already looking for someone new. Why else would he have left you so easily? There must’ve been someone on the side but who were you kidding? That man planned an entire night out for you; to celebrate your life together. Your mind came up with all these different reasons for the breakup so you could get some closure but you weren’t stupid. You knew Mark loved you, you just couldn’t find a reason why he would tell you he regrets your relationship and wishes he never met you.

You despised yourself for trusting Mark with your entire being; for allowing him to see each and every part of you. The good, the bad, the ugly. You hated that he was the only man you’ve ever loved with your entire physical, mental and spiritual being. You were upset with yourself for falling so hard for him and giving him the control to do such a thing to your heart. The feeling of being in your mom’s arms again after moving out almost two years ago was extremely comforting and very calming.

She ran her fingers through your hair and continued to stay silent and waited until you stopped crying completely before telling you exactly what was on her mind. After your sobs slowly died down, she tapped on your forehead to get your attention.

“Sweetheart, have I ever told you the story of when your father left me back when we were in college?”

You shook your head in disagreement but widened your eyes in shock at her revelation. From what you were told, your parents were college sweethearts. Your dad fell in love with her when one of their mutual friends asked him to pick her up from work once and he was extremely grateful that their car was in the shop at that time or else he would have never met his soulmate.

They’ve been together for over twenty years and not once have you heard this story, but now you were heavily interested. You always loved hearing stories about your parents relationship; it gave you high hopes for your own relationship and since you were going through a breakup right now, you could only hope the story would lift up your spirits.

“We were together for only three months at the time and it was the first relationship I had where I genuinely cared for him. He was so kind, so flirtatious and used the cheesiest pickup lines to make me laugh. I knew he was going to be someone special in my life. Unfortunately, at the time your dad was the only one in his group of friends that was in a relationship. They told him that being in a relationship was “lame” and that he was still so young to be wasting his time being tied down to one girl. He tried to defend and fight for our relationship, but his friends continued to pester him over it, so he broke up with me. I was devastated, I cried for hours on end and couldn’t eat anything. But he showed up only three days later with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a bucket of fried chicken. He told me he loved me and refused to be without me. It was quire romantic if you ask me.”

You giggled at the idea of your dad asking your mom to take him back with some Popeyes. You were upset to hear that your dad’s friends coerced him in to breaking up with her. However, you were happy to hear that it didn’t take too long for him to realize your mom was it for him.

“He’ll be back y/n. I know he will. That boy—he loves you. He doesn’t need to say it out loud, I can tell in his actions and with the way he looks at you that he’s head over heels in love with you. His mom also mentioned it a couple times; he’s—what is that word kids your age use these days? Whipped for you? She said he has stars in his eyes whenever you come up in conversation. It’s serious when a boy talks about you to his momma. One day when the two of you are married with a family of your own, you’ll look back on this little bump in the road and laugh—“

“Please don’t say that. You didn’t see the way he looked at me when he told me all of those hurtful things. It didn’t even feel like he was my boyfriend, it was as if I was looking at a stranger. It makes me wonder, did he ever really love me if he had no problem leaving me?”

“I’m serious y/n. I don’t know what things were said that night or how things ended up the way they did, but when it’s real, when it’s love, you just know. He probably looks just as bad and if not worse than you do. I know it hurts. Breakups are rough, especially because it’s obvious you and Mark were made for one another. But what have I always told you? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it’s yours forever and if it doesn’t, well baby, it just simply wasn’t meant to be. He was probably just in the heat of the moment and said some things he probably didn’t mean. I’m sure he’s regretting this entire thing. Mark’s a smart boy; if he knows what’s best for him, he’ll be yours again in no time. Until then, get out of this funk y/n. There’s so many wonderful things in the world to do and to be grateful for. Do you really want to look back on your twenties and regret wasting your time crying over a boy when you could be doing so many different activities and go on so many adventures?”

You released a frustrated sigh and shook your head again. She was right. You were tired of crying and drinking so much. There was only so much alcohol your body could handle and it wasn’t worth all the hangovers.

“Maybe we should tell your dad what happened so he can mess around with him a little bit and teach him a lesson.”

The idea and the way your mom said it made you let out a genuine laugh. Your parents were always so protective over you and it was probably because you were so kind-hearted that people tended to take advantage of how polite you could be. However, even if she meant it as a joke, you were nervous at what your dad would do if he found out about what Mark said to you and how the breakup was slowly killing you. You were a daddy’s girl and your dad never failed to do anything to make you smile; even if it meant scaring your ex-boyfriend which you knew you didn’t want him doing.

Your mom stayed with you for a few hours until it was timed for her to make dinner and you ended up falling asleep because of how mentally exhausted you were. No matter how much your mom loved it whenever you stayed over, she didn’t want you to get used to running away from your problems and hiding when things got too difficult. She wanted you to learn to live without him on your own. Your mom knew that you were going to be okay. Maybe not right now, but one day you would heal from this entire situation and realize that your breakup was a learning experience.

Plus, you had to return back to work sooner or later or you would lose your job completely. A cloud of sadness came once your dad pulled up to your apartment complex and they offered to walk you to your door but you weren’t sure if you’d allow them to leave if they did. They both pulled you in for hugs as they said their goodbyes and you actually cried as you watched them drive away. Why did life have to be so complicated? You were so unhappy to the point where you thought you would actually die from a broken heart.

The aspect of dying from a broken heart was extremely devastating; you’ve heard about it on multiple occasions. It was normal for people to be so sad, so distraught and have no energy or motivation to do anything. They wouldn’t eat, sleep and only spend most of their days crying out what was left of their hearts. You didn’t think going through a breakup would cause this much damage to you and your well-being; but contrary to what your mom told you, Mark wasn’t just any boy. He was the owner of your heart and you understood that he could torment you like this because you allowed him to.

You stopped by the mailbox to see if you got anything before heading up to your apartment. When your parents were driving you back to your place, you decided that you would actually get up and do something today. Whether it was tidying up your place from how messy it had become from your one too many drunken stupors, or going to the cleaners to get that wine stain out of your dress. As you began to approach your unit, you noticed there was something sitting right in front of your door.

The closer you got, you realized that it wasn’t just something, it was someone. Your heart felt as if it was about to jump out of your chest when you realized exactly who the person was slumped up against the wall. It was exactly a week since your fight and you weren’t sure if it was what your mom had said about your love and how beautiful it was, or because you were miserable without him but you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and beg him to come back to you.

You expected to be angry if you were to see him again because of all the trauma you suffered through; yet seeing him tugged on your heartstrings and it was as if you pushed the entirety of the last week to the back of your mind. When Mark heard footsteps coming towards him and he looked up to see who it was, he had to hold himself back from running towards you. Your mom was right, just like she normally was.

This week was one of the worst weeks of his entire life. He was suffering without you. He never hated himself more than he did when he said all those things and he hated himself even more for not running after you as soon as those spiteful words fell from his mouth. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him, and if things were to end up differently that night, he would’ve been able to show you exactly what you meant to him in more ways than one.

He wanted to call you, to text you and to tell you how stupid he was and how he didn’t mean a single word that he said to you but words were never his forte. Nor did he want to give up his pride even if it meant preventing this last week from ever happening. It was all his fault, or so he kept telling himself and he couldn’t go one more day without you in his life. It was too much for his heart to withstand.

He was going to do everything in his power to get you to forgive him, even if it meant having to stay away from you for a little while longer for you to completely heal from this experience. As soon as he drove away from your apartment that night, he knew he fucked up and accidentally punched a hole in his wall out of anger. He was so selfish; so insensitive and didn’t think that his harsh words would have any negative effect on you.

After hearing your little jabs at him, he wanted to hit you where it hurt the most but if he knew then what he knew now, he would’ve kept his mouth shut and just dropped you home so that you both could calm down and not say everything you both said to one another. You let out a deep breath and tried to prepare your heart to hear why he was there and to be ready to fight if the situation called for it.

“Hey.”

You looked up at him and you could feel tears brimming at your eyelids. He looked so tired and you knew for a fact that he must’ve cried with how his eyes practically mirrored the puffiness of yours. The dark circles under his eyes were more prominent and his face looked smaller than it already was. It made you cringe; Mark was never one to portray himself as someone weak or someone who had feelings and emoted whenever something was up with him. If he had a problem, he’d deal with it on his own and this was no different.

Good. He deserved to have suffered as much as you did.

“Hi. How long have you been here for?” He shrugged before scratching the back of his head; something he normally did when he felt like he was in the wrong or whenever he was embarrassed and you took it as the former.

“Um—since Wednesday I think.”

Your eyes widened in shock at his answer. Wednesday? So that means he was sitting outside of your apartment for the last three days?

“Wait, you’ve been here for three days? Are you crazy? Mark, you could’ve gotten sick! It’s cold out here! And what about food? Have you even been eating? You look so malnourished, why would you—“

“You and I both know why. I fucked up. Big time. It took me a while to think about it at this perspective because I was just so mad and I wanted to blame you for the way things ended that night but I came to the conclusion that this was my fault. I’m the one who fucked up something so amazing, so beautiful and so perfect because I was a fucking asshole y/n and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

In order to prevent wandering eyes of your neighbors, you opened the door and motioned for him to walk inside so that the two of you could have your privacy.

“Shit y/n, what happened to your door? You have to practically force it open—“

“You don’t want to know. My dad is supposed to come over this weekend to try and fix it. I think the hinges must’ve came out or something. Can I get you something to eat? Drink?”

He shook his head and you could see in your peripheral vision that he was hesitatingly reaching out for your hand, probably in attempts to bring you to the couch so he could continue the conversation from where the two of you began from but he just walked over to the living room and took a seat. You wanted to hear everything he had to say and you were going to make it a point to let him know what this breakup did to you.

His focus was on the multiple empty bottles of alcohol sitting on your coffee table and because he was well aware of how much you hated alcohol, it was apparent that you must’ve had it really rough if you felt the need to turn to alcohol for solace. When he felt like he was ready to talk, he turned around to face you and released an exasperated sigh.

“I’m sorry it took so long to come here—oh, these are for you. I actually had to go back to the store because the first two bouquets actually died probably because they weren’t being watered and I bought your favorite cookies—but I got hungry so there’s only three left.”

He handed you the beautiful bouquet of sunflowers and you giggled at the sight of only three cookies in a big container but it made you smile nonetheless.

How romantic.

You politely thanked him and placed both of the gifts down on the table before speaking up.

“You should’ve called me, I wouldn’t allow you to have waited out here for me. Are you crazy Mark? What if something happened to you—“

“Then so be it. I’d probably deserve it. Fuck, you don’t understand how much of a mess I was without you and how much I’ve been suffering because the image of your pained face would not leave my mind once this entire weekend. I had a feeling you weren’t home when you weren’t answering the door but then again, you could’ve looked through the peephole and decided you wanted nothing to do with me and I wouldn’t have blamed you. The old lady next door was kind enough to offer me some food here and there but I’m sure she probably thought I was a thief or something when she first saw me. I should’ve called but you and I both know why I didn’t. I kinda wanted to give you your space because I’m sure what I said probably got under your skin. I ruined our special day and I’m sorry if I broke your heart—with the way you’re looking at me I’m sure I hurt you pretty badly huh.”

You looked up at him with a melancholic look in your eyes; that had to be the understatement of the year. If you didn’t have your family around to help you take your mind off of your failed relationship, you were sure you would have ended up in the hospital sooner or later.

“You broke me Mark. You made me feel like I was worthless. You made me think there was someone else or that you fell out of love with me and I genuinely wanted to die. Pathetic right? I just—I didn’t know how to function without you and waking up every morning felt like a chore. At some points I felt like I couldn’t even breathe. I’ve heard heartbreaks caused by breakups were an unfathomable pain that are impossible to bounce back from and some people even die from a broken heart I just never would’ve thought it would happen to me. Especially because we were so happy; so in love and I would have never thought one stupid, meaningless argument could cause us to separate. You made it seem like leaving me was so easy and hearing that you wished that we never dated in the first place is what truly fucked me over. I became a fucking alcoholic because of you—I blamed the entire breakup on myself even if I didn’t say anything that I knew would inflict any sort of pain to you because the idea of hurting you hurts me. It’s sad to know you don’t feel that way.”

“That’s where you’re wrong y/n. I regretted everything that I said as soon as I said them but the damage was already done. Please believe me when I say this, I didn’t mean a fucking word. That was just the anger and the irritation talking for me. My life before you always felt so empty, and once you came in to it, you made everything so much better. You filled my life with color and made my heart soar by just the mere thought of you. I could never regret you or our relationship; you’re all I could ever want or need in this hell forsaken world. You know the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you—“

“BUT YOU DID MARK.”

You didn’t mean to yell, but it was all the built up emotions you’ve been holding in that finally released itself and you knew you wouldn’t be able to forget the way he shivered at your tone. Not once in the many years of knowing you did Mark ever see you so mad. You were always such a shy and introverted person; he didn’t think you were capable of such an intonation. He hated that he was the reason for your hostility and he was afraid that it was too late. It may have only been a week, but what you went through was enough to change your warm-hearted personality in to a cold and aggressive one.

“Nothing will ever change the fact that you gave up on us—on me. If you knew there was a chance that your words would affect me the way that they did, then you wouldn’t have said anything at all; but you said it all without hesitation like you did mean it. I was coming to accept our breakup for what it was. Sure I was hoping you would come back; hell this is the closest I ever felt to God because I found myself praying every single day for him to show me a sign. For him to heal me and make it known that I would be okay. I’d be lying if I said I’m not the least bit content that you’re here but—I really don’t know what to make of that.”

To your surprise, he made his way toward you and reached for your hands. As intimidated he was by how you were acting towards him, he knew he had to grow some balls and man up, or he would lose you forever and the tiny box that was in his pocket would no longer have any use.

“I don’t know what to say or do that would explain how sorry I am and how much I wish I could go back in time and prevent any of this from happening. I don’t know how to stop you from hurting, and to get you to forgive me—I‘ll do anything to fix this y/n. Please—tell me what to do. I can’t—I can’t lose you. Tell me you don’t love me, and then I’ll—I’ll—fuck, there’s no way I can let you go. Please baby—you asked God for a sign and I came here tonight to try and fix my mistakes. That has to mean something right?”

Hearing him sound so desperate, so willing to do whatever you wanted him to in order to bring your relationship back to what it was made you feel so many emotions. As much as you wanted him to give you some time to think, you knew you’d take him back. It was going to take some time to forgive him, and to get his words out of your mind completely, but Mark was everything you ever wanted for the rest of your life.

Why were you going to continue suffering on your own and staying away from him when all you wanted was to have him back in your life? You cupped his cheek softly with your palm and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Feeling him smile against your lips sent a fire through your veins; Mark’s kisses always had quite the effect on you. His lips were so pink and so pretty and you loved every single moment that they were pressed against yours.

“You can start by paying for my dry cleaning. I got a huge wine stain on the dress I was wearing because I got drunk.” He giggled in to your neck before placing a chaste kiss there.

“Done. You silly girl. God, I missed you so much baby. I also think I have something that could win me some brownie points but I hope tonight ends the way last week should have.”

The question of what he was referring to was at the tip of your tongue, but before you could emit anything, he was now kneeling on the ground right in front of you and pulled out a red box. Your heart began to race on a you put two and two together; he was going to propose to you.

“I know, this is probably not how you wanted this to happen and I promise you I had different ways in mind on doing this—but after losing you, I realized that it didn’t matter how, where or when I would ask you to spend the rest of your life with me; all that matters is that I did. I was actually planning on proposing you at the beach once we were finished eating, but I chickened out like the coward that I am. And I guess I was irritated with myself and took it out on you that night and I know I said it so many times, but I will continue apologizing until I make up for all the pain I’ve put you through. I’m sorry y/n. I don’t deserve you—I don’t deserve being able to do this right now but this last week without you made me realize that I can’t live if I have to do it without you.”

He grazed your wrist with his thumb and you were sure he did that to calm down his nerves, but it was so cute. You loved seeing him so flustered and so nervous and you loved knowing that you were the reason behind his now shy demeanor.

“I’ve been in love with you for longer than I can remember. Every time I would drop you back home once we hung out back in high school, I felt this emptiness in my chest. Then I realized how much I loved hearing you laugh knowing that I was the reason behind it. I loved spending time with you and being around you. I loved the feeling I got whenever we were together. You and I can literally do nothing but I’m my happiest when I’m with you and that’s when I realized you were more than just a friend to me. These last few years with you have made me the happiest man alive. You mean everything to me baby—I wish I would’ve told you this sooner so we wouldn’t have wasted time apart but I’ll make up for it the rest of my life—if you let me of course. I’ll take good care of you my love. I’ll continue to love you and give you the world on a silver platter. Y/n, will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?”

You were sure if someone else were in your shoes, they probably would’ve said no right off the bat. Heartbreak really did change a person. It made your whole aspect on life change for the worse and you knew you weren’t the same person you were a week ago. But you’ve dreamt about this situation on many accounts. There were times where you’d sleep over Mark’s place and you’d stay up looking at him in admiration and thinking about what your future together would look like.

Sure, you would have preferred this surprise before all the unfortunate events that happened, but you were excited and speechless nonetheless. You sank to your knees and sat down on his lap; bringing your hands up to his face and pulling his lips up to yours. You couldn’t help the snicker that fell from the back of your throat when you felt a tear fall from his eyes on to your cheek. His hands were tight on your waist as he deepened the kiss, licking and sucking on your lips before all but gently shoving his tongue in between your teeth. When you felt his excitement pressing against your core, you pulled away and ignored the choked out whine that fell from his lips as you placed your forehead against his.

“Yes. I would love to marry you Mark. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. Thank you for coming back to me love.”

The way he was looking up at you pulled on your heartstrings; you couldn’t wait to tell your mom of the news. You knew she would probably hit you with “I told you so” but she would also be extremely happy for you. He abruptly stood up and took you with him, wrapping your thighs around his waist. You knew exactly what his plans were as he made his way to your room and you were excited to say the least at what he was going to do with you.

Once the two of you entered the bedroom, he didn’t waste anytime throwing you on to the bed and attacking your face with kisses as he ran his hands along your body; needing to touch you everywhere. Right as he began dragging his fingers along your clothed heat, he gripped at your chin and made sure you were making direct eye contact with him.

“You know, since your door is already broken, I don’t see any problem in breaking your bed also—ow! What? You’re going to be my wife one day soon, so it’s only natural for me to want to fuck the living shit out of you in celebration of our engagement—I’m actually starting to reconsider this whole marriage thing. Give me back that ring, I’m gonna go sell it and buy me the PS5–“

“You wouldn’t dare Tuan, I’ll end you—“

“Just shut up and let me love you damnit.”

You couldn’t stop the laughter that came after his little complaint. You still had yet to process that Mark was currently on top of you, ready to make love to you and to show you just how much he missed you. He playfully poked your cheek to break you out of your trance and squeezed your butt as a force of habit.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“I’m just really happy, that’s all.”

He gave you his signature cheeky grin and left a long, sloppy kiss on your lips.

“Good. That makes the two of us, and that’s the only emotion you’re going to feel now that you’re stuck with me. Now, let’s make up for lost time shall we?”

Can you ask daddy if he's got time To come and look at my front door? It got slammed last night And now it don't close right And just promise that you won't tell him everything And keep that pistol in the drawer Mama, please don't say I'm gonna laugh about this someday You didn't see the way he drove away

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? Oh, a broken heart

Can your knees give out from prayin' so hard? (Prayin' so hard) Can you go blind from cryin' in the dark? (In the dark) Was it ever really real If he don't feel like I feel?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright?

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? A broken heart

#got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan #got7 mark #mark tuan imagines

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bonvoyagenoona · 3 years

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Hello!! I am here after reading your recommendation, The Road To You. I really think you cannot top it after each time I read your work and you really find a way to do it. This was just amazing. I can’t even find words to explain how good this was. I found myself in OC’s journey. I reflected my past relationships and realized my own mistakes. I cried 4 times in the story; once when Taehyung’s grandmother couldn’t recognize her at the beginning. Once at the end of Yoongi’s chapter, when she read her journal “I wouldn’t even need to think in the first place.”. I thought Yoongi and her were meant to be after that. But then I saw she never really understood him as much as he understood her. Once at Namjoon’s story, when she found out he cheated on her. I really was not expecting that. I felt sorry for how weak she felt after. And lastly, I cried at the end, when Tae’s grandma called her Birdie after she sang the song. I am very happy that they ended up together. At first I wasn’t sure because I didn’t feel like OC wanted him as much as he wanted her. But I think she fell for him for how selfless he is and how easy they complete each other. They both have their past mistakes and their emotional baggage but (maybe with experience and age too) they just find a way to meet in the middle and support each other as much as they can and I loved that. I loved that they both made each other their priorities without actually losing themselves, still managing to bloom. I think that affected me deeply because I failed doing that in my past relationships and this story was a good opportunity to reflect on myself. I love how you portrayed each boy and how true you stayed to their characters. Their stories and their jobs fit them perfectly. Especially Jin being an actor. I also loved how you managed to write 7 different love stories without boring the reader, making it feel like you are just trying to go through all the members. Their stories were placed perfectly in terms of timeline of OC’s life. They kind of completed each other. Each heartbreak, the mistakes and the lessons learned.

I really wish I didn’t binge this story because I want to re-live those emotions when I was reading it. I know I said Office Hours was my favorite but I think I will change with this one. You wrote an actual book. I had to remind myself that I was reading a fanfic, not an actual book so many times throughout the story. I have so many things to say about this story but I am so emotional, I cannot gather my thoughts and put them in words. I usually go on with my life for a couple of months and re-read a story I really enjoyed because I usually forget some of it and it feels like I am reading it for the first time again. But I don’t think that will happen for this story because it feels like it will stick with me. I hope you had a good meal and a big glass of wine after writing this because you deserve it. Just amazing.

Wow, your words have really touched my heart and, not gonna lie, brought a little tear to my eye! 💜 What you said about this feeling like a book... that is a compliment that I hold very, very close to my core. Thank you, truly.

And thank you for going on this journey. It's one that many of us find ourselves on, and there are so many personal themes embedded in each of the relationships here. While some of those universal themes may have resonated with you, given what you've recently experienced, I also want to honor how strong and self-aware you seem to be as you process them, so open to growth and aiming to do better.

Above all else, though, I hope you also see that though Birdie sometimes had a hard time seeing it, she was always unconditionally loved by so many people in her life. If there’s anything to take away from The Road to You, it’s that:

I hope that even with efforts toward self-improvement, you don't forget that you are fully wonderful and worthy of all of life's good things, just as you are. You are clearly a very thoughtful, loving person. Thank you so much for reflecting that love back out into the world and sharing a bit of it with me!

Thank you again for reading! I always have so much more to say lol, especially about those 4 pivotal points in the story that you mentioned. For anyone interested, keep reading after the cut!

@hoeforseokjinn Honestly, wow, thank you so much for your kind words! I am so, so glad that you enjoyed this one, and that you feel like it will stick with you. That means everything to me.

Those 4 points in the story mean a lot, so thank you for seeing the importance in those moments!

You totally get what happened with Yoongi. He represents the kind of love that seems perfect on paper, but for whatever reason, just doesn't play out or last in real life. There's always the frustration of bad timing, but also, Yoongi doesn't actually want the things that come with a traditional relationship, and he already knows that Missy does. The Road to You Yoongi is based on a very specific person and time in my life. Can be heartbreaking, but also still wonderful and fulfilling, to get the chance to know someone who just understands you.

And you totally get Namjoon. He has always come across to me as an achiever, someone with a strong force of will. The Road to You Namjoon represents an approach to love that is action-driven, so when his beloved Sweetheart seemingly fades away from him, he's left with all of this energy and nowhere to put it. When he's in that kind of state, his actions seem random. (Kind of like that clip of them backstage, when Jungkook recognizes that Namjoon is too hyped up and doesn't really know what to do with himself.) He's usually so controlled and deliberate, but in moments like that, when he's so impulsive, it's understandable he could seek comfort elsewhere. Just so happens that he also happily and luckily found what he was looking for, too. He's based on something I grapple with, which is being impatient with life when I don't see a clear path to my next intended destination.

As you can tell, this story is also about stages of life. I've been thinking a lot about the stage of life when children start to become caregivers, whether for their own children, or for their parents/grandparents. My family has tons of examples of intergenerational caregiving, as is the case with many collectivistic cultures. I also was an academic researcher (hence Office Hours and Matchmaker lol) for a time in a memory lab. The loss of one's memories due to cognitive changes over time, or due to diagnoses like dementia and Alzheimer's, is an important topic for me, especially as I start to see my last grandparent still alive start to lose certain faculties.

Because Taehyung has always represented warmth, family, and caregiving to me, I thought this characterization would make sense, and everything you said about how they prioritized each other while also still letting each other bloom -- absolutely! He so open with people, until he's given a reason not to be. And when he is shown such a reason, he closes off completely (the famed Kim Taehyung Vibe Check). It makes sense that he would so weightily feel the risks of love, yet stay patient and optimistic in the face of those risks. And his patience, optimism, and openness gives Birdie a chance to learn how to give in return. That was what was missing from all of her previous relationships, which were understandably more focused on her own self-improvement. And it's one of the main things I'm learning and evolving with, as well -- how to be there, how to really show up for someone else.

Anyway, thanks for indulging me as I babbled! Your comments made me feel like you see the layers behind the text, which made me feel very seen. Thank you again for traveling on this road, seeing those layers, and leaving these precious words!

#your asks #the road to you #hoeforseokjin #so so so kind #i have so loved getting your comments thank you so much!!!

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eventyrstuff · 4 years

Text

Every Kdrama I’ve watched under the cut, to keep track and for recommendations.

Warning: Spoilers, few unpopular opinions ahead, please bear in mind: to each their own.

2009

· You’re Beautiful – 16 amusing episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? This was the era of female leads pretending to be male (Hana Kimi, Ouran etc), but I still loved it. We follow the story of the female lead (who was a Nun at the beginning) who pretended to be her twin brother and become a part of the country’s current hottest band because her twin had a cosmetic surgery mishap (lol). It’s mostly trying to fit in and try not to get exposed but of course our male lead discovered her true identity thus begin her suffering and second also knows but did not admit it thus begin his unrequited love and comic relief and best character in the series was left in the dark thus begin questioning his sexuality 7/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? YES. Park Shin Hye is love and Jang Geun Seuk’s smile is freaking adorable. 9/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? JEREMY AND SHINWOO AND JOLIE YES. 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? MOST DEF. I fell in love with PSH’s “Lovely Day” and “ Without Words”, ANJELL’s “Still” and “Promise” though I prefer Lee Hong Ki’s version 8/10 o Would you rewatch? I’ll definitely rewatch, I would love to compare my opinion back in my tween years and opinion now o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Episode 6 – Shin Woo and Mi Nam’s pseudo date (totally heartbreaking for tween me) Episode 11 – supermarket scene was the best, Episode 13 – Cooking scenes was hilarious, every scene with Jeremy, TAE KYUNG AND THE PIG o Words Association: GO MI NAM, Pig-Rabbit, JOLIE!, Fly me to the moon, “hyung, vinegar?” o Yes it has overused plots, common conflicts and family drama but the characters and their dynamics are truly worth watching this and if you need a good laugh (this drama has a looooot of funny scenes), this one is for you. 8/10

2011

· Heartstrings – 15 forgotten episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? It’s a college drama involving modern and traditional Korean music. I honest to God forgot the whole drama, I think there was rivalry between the main leads? 6/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? Not sure, but if it’s Park Shin Hye, I guess so, sorry I’m shit at remembering this drama o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I forgot so I guess not? o Are the OSTs compelling? I am pretty sure it got an amazing Osts with having Park Shin Hye and CN Blue’s Yong Hwa but the only thing I remember was the song “Byeul” or Star and it was sung by the secondary character but it was really catchy o Would you rewatch? Looks like I need to rewatch since I mostly forgot this drama o Will rate once I have rewatched but if you shipped Yong Hwa and Park Shin Hye’s characters in You’re Beautiful, this one is for you.

Then after years of Jdramas, Anime, Mangas, YA books I returned to Kdramaland in…

2018

· Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo – 16 charming episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? College athletes’ coming of age drama, added a dash of love and friendship and dreams. Strong female lead and affectionate male lead, sign me the fuck up. 9/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? I AM EMOTIONALLY INVESTED WITH THE LEADS PERSONAL AND LOVE LIVES. YES. 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? YES EVEN THE CAMEOS (Hello Lee Jong Suk who I haven’t watched any of his drama yet at the time and Ji Soo) 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I downloaded 2 of their OSTs (You&I and Dreaming), it was the first Korean songs in my playlist 9/10 o Would you rewatch? Absolutely o Favorite Episode/Scenes: “BOK JOO, WATCH OUT!”, “YOU DIE, I WILL KILL YOU”, Snow kisses, the gang in the amusement park, THAT SCENE WITH JISOO AND JOO HYUK o Word Association: SWAG, Messi, Chicken, Samgyupsal, WHAT, Chubs o I totally recommend to everyone, it has a unique plot, still not over the main lead’s chemistry, you’ll fall in love with the whole story. 10/10

· The Heirs – 20 clichéd episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? It’s your typical rich man poor woman plot, high school setting oozing with alpha males and lots of trope scenes, if only female lead was also an heir or they develop more on her character it will be memorable, I can’t really differentiate with other dramas with the same plot – well except the male lead’s mother is not your typical mother who absolutely hates the female lead 3/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? No, not really more on the secondary characters, both male and female leads are meh 2/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? With the mute mother and FL’s bestfriend and his girlfriend yes, everyone else is forgettable 3/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I only remember “Love is a moment” because it was used by fanmade crack videos on youtube ahahaha 2/10 o Would you rewatch? Probably no. o I guess if you are a big fan of Boys Over Flowers and looking for the same genre this one’s for you, this did not really age well for me, probably would have loved this if I watched back when I was in highschool – reminds me of wattpad days. 3/10

· W: Two Worlds – 16 enthralling episodes (Started 2018 Finished 2020)

o Is the plot interesting? The plot is what compelled me to watch this drama, male lead is a webtoon character created by the female lead but made famous by her father. Male lead does not have your best childhood experiences but became really successful as an adult but there are mysterious instances that put his life on danger, the female lead (doctor) was drawn in on the comic and saved his life, unknowingly her actions changed the course of the story and it reflected on the comic in the real world – this was truly a good concept 9/10 because I actually forgot I started this drama last 2018 then rewatched and finished this 2020, I am still confused. o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? THE CHEMISTRY WAS ON THE ROOF ON THIS ONE. I DIDN’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THE OTHER CHARACTERS 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I was actually more focused on the main leads, did not exactly give much attention to other characters 3/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I only liked “Where are you” but it was sung by that guy who was jailed among other things so I don’t know how I feel now. Still the opening was lit o Would you rewatch? Yes, I will try to fully understand what the mechanics or rules of being a webtoon character and being alive in the real world o Favorite Episode/Scenes: KISS IN THE JAIL was the first thing that came to my mind, also real life scenes to comic scenes and vice versa- kudos to the artists, slap and kiss scene, the flashing scene, 4 romantic concepts scene, the adorable scenes recreating the illustration book, the transition when yeon Joo dropped her ring, the hospital bed scene o Words Association: #4, handcuffs, all the winks, sudden “saranghaeyo”, ring, bus stop, “to be continued” o This drama was amazing for the first 10 episodes then became complicated after, I loved the chemistry between the 2 main leads but unfortunately overpowered the whole story – don’t get me wrong I love love stories, but my reaction was the same as those who read the comics – too much cutesy stuff they forgot the storyline, I wanted them to explore the W show, but they focused on filling the plothole for the murderer which created more conflicts and confusing scenes. The line between the comic and real word created plot devices and more questions. This drama has flaws but cool premise though, I hate amnesia plot on any drama but it was well incorporated on this one. 8/10

· Goblin – 16 amazing Episodes (Finished, rewatched 2020)

o Is the plot interesting? A general in Goryeo dynasty got punished by the Gods to be immortal and his sword still in his chest only the Goblin bride can take it off so he can be at peace and die. Immortal lead with a side of grim reaper as best friend, charming female lead with a confident female boss – a story with reincarnation and ghosts, scenes that will tug your heart – yes, one of Kdrama Masterpiece 10/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? At first no no with the age gap but yes, I say while crying o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? HELL TO THE YES, DEOK HWA, GRAMPS, SECRETARY KIM, HELLO CUTIE TAE HEE, SUNNY AND GRIM REAPER 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? HAUNTINGLY BEAUTIFUL OSTS, particularly “Round and Round”, “I Miss You”, “Stay with Me” and even without lyrics I still worship “When the time stops” aka the music that speaks to your soul 10/10 o Would you rewatch? YES ALREADY DID BRUH WILL DO AGAIN o�� Favorite Episode/Scenes: Every bromance scene, I got hooked by the scene in the first ep where Eun Tak celebrated her birthday with her ghost mother, epic goblin and grim reaper modelling in the highway, everytime sunny flips her hair, grim reaper and his guests in the tea shop o Word Association: Canada, sad love, candles, rain, chicken, tea, car crash *sorry not sorry* o Totally recommended, well-deserved on its popularity. Will make you laugh and cry, at the same time. Acting skillz man. 10/10

· Strong Woman Do Bong Soon – 16 whacky episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? Female lead has super strength which was actually passed down to every woman born in her family, she wants to be a game developer but instead got hired as bodyguard of our male lead who is a ceo of a gaming company 8/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? I remember that I did, I was? I need to rewatch haha o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I remembered I did not like Ji soo’s character and don’t really remember other characters… o Are the OSTs compelling? Can’t quite remember so I need to - o Would you rewatch? Yeahp, will do o I’ll do a rewatch before rating

I had a watch list back in 2018, but then I became busy with work and life until…

2020 (Details will be more longer since every Kdrama is still fresh on my mind)

· My ID is Gangnam Beauty – 16 pretty episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? Basically, female lead deems herself ugly and undergone a plastic surgery to fully change her face before attending the university – but a popular guy back in highschool (junior high?) was also attending the same uni and recognized her – it’s a mellow sort of drama tackling Korean beauty and it’s extent, still cute story tho 7/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? We must protect Mi-rae at all cost, Cha Eun Woo’s character is a little bit emotionally constipated but Eun Woo is *swoon* 8/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I am all for Mi-rae’s family and childhood friend, Kyung Seok’s sister, Yoo eun was very notable as well, I love how her character is completely fair and understanding 7/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? “D-day” and “True” is a bop to listen to, everytime I hear “Something” all I remember is Cha Eun Woo’s slow mo glance, other OST is a bop but not enough for me to put on my playlist 6/10 o Would you rewatch? Probably but not right now o Favorite Episode/Scenes: New face dance, bathroom scene with Kyung Seok beating the shit out of their senior, whenever Kyung Seok is annoyed with Soo-A but total heart eyes mode with Mi Rae, Cinema pseudo date – eating popcorn using straws, when he changed the color of his hair, Kyung Seok’s ID when he was a waiter, their high school date, and that last sweet scene in the final episode o Word Association: gangnam, perfume, plastic, umbrella, soju o I wasn’t planning on watching kdramas again after a long time but this quarantine just makes you do things and no regrets at all, MIIGB probably isn’t the best of the best but it definitely made me want to watch more kdramas and lo and behold more kdramas watched in a span of 2 months than in a year back in 2018. I love how it tackles on true beauty and female oppression and how idiotic alpha male trope is 7/10

· While You Were Sleeping – 16 not enough episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? A prosecutor, a reporter and a cop can see the future when they sleep, which helps them in solving cases and do their best to change it. Every case is fascinating makes you say “ohhhhh” when they present their defense and I am like *chef kiss* I love the premise and the supernatural part of the story. 10/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? YES. JAE CHAN AND HONG JOO ARE ADORKABLE AND HAS INSANE VISUALS 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? HAVE YOU MET JUNG HAE IN, THE PROSECUTOR TEAM WAS THE BEST. YES. EVEN THE SIDE CHARACTERS ON CASES AND THE VILLAINS 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I usually don’t hear the OSTs while focusing on a scene but boy oh boy, OSTs stole everything, I am obsessed with the whole album. The melody and tune is very captivating everytime you hear it you just want to embed it on your brain. If you are still having second thoughts watching this drama, listen to it’s OSTs the feels they give is the same feels when you watch 1000/10 o Would you rewatch? I’ve watched it again after finishing it so yes, 100% yes, need more episodes still having withdrawal syndrome, still watching fanmade videos on youtube o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Every episode lol, the opening sequence, the outro scenes in episode 2 and 3 (with that background music), everytime “It’s you”, “You belong to my world”, “When night falls” and “I love you boy” is the bg music, every Jae Chan and Hong Joo parallel (Episode 2 and 16 particularly), OT3 scenes, the shadow picture, KISS IN THE RAIN, IN THE SAKURA TREE AND THE ALMOST KISS IN THE CAR if I list down all of my fave, I will be writing the whole summary of each episode. Hmmm. o Words Association: Snow hug, sakura kiss, batman and robin, scarf, JUST ICE, choir, seatbelt, samgyupsal, femme fatale, lip balm o I HIGHLY RECOMMEND. ULTIMATE FAVE. I AM BIASED SHUTTUP. JUST WATCH. NONE CAN COMPARE. NUFF SAID. 100000/10 SOMEONE FANGIRL WITH ME

· Pinocchio – 20 important episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? This whole drama is about mass media and its major influence on anyone’s life and it is so powerful. We have a male lead whose family has experienced the impact of misguided news and it is painful to watch because this really happens irl at worse, this is due to a reporter which is our female lead’s mother. Now our female lead has Pinocchio Syndrome hence the drama title, she can’t help but hiccup when she lies, it’s very interesting to know why both leads wanted to be a reporter given their situation 10/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? YES, I JUST WANNA HUG THEM. Imagine having a condition that forces you to tell the truth, you can’t keep your feelings, privacy or secrets at all and to add an indifferent mother who did not care for your dreams but more on publicity. Imagine having a dream and working hard to reach it but after college you fail every job interview and it’s so realistic I just ashfdsjfha (Except the Pinocchio syndrome part but come on) Imagine experiencing a childhood where you don’t know what happened to your firefighter father, is the news about him running away true because it was his fault all those other firefighters are dead? Imagine your brother doing his best to hold your family together because your mother is on the verge of nervous breakdown to the point of pushing her to choose death, pulling you to a hug and just jump? Imagine this male lead fighting every chance to not love this girl who is the daughter of the reason why his family is gone now and could not leave her because she is also the reason why he decided to fight for the injustice done to his family and to others victims of fake news and they are so supportive of each other. It freaking hurts and I’m sorry I just have a lot of emotions for these two 1000000/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? YEEEEES, GRANDPA AND FATHER, I LOVE THEIR FAMILY DYNAMICS SO MUCH WHEN GRANDPA CRIED I CRIED! EVEN JA MYUNG HYUNG who has not enough episode in THEY DESERVE TO BE TOGETHER NOT JUST FOR ONE EPISODE. EVEN BEOM JU, YOO RAE, NITPICKER JANG, CAPTAIN, BOTH CAPTAINS ACTUALLY, CHAN SOO AND HIS FAMILY EVEN I LOVE TO HATE THE VILLAINS 100/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I was too focused on the intensity of the story but I do love the bg music –“First Love”, “The Only Person”, “Pinocchio” are few notable OSTs 8/10 o Would you rewatch? YES FREAKING YES, I REWATCHED AFTER WATCHING IT o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Episode 16 as a whole, because main lead conflict with each other was resolved and that dinner scene is one I always rewatch, of course episode 1 introduction for Dal Po is freaking hilarious, Episode 2’s “Because I like you” damn feels, snow kiss, all the grandpa scenes and brother scenes, that scene when In ha remembered being drunk, that scene where Dal Po meets his brother again and I just ahjasgdjhsdgf, the intense debate and paralleling it in the seminar, the Christmas episode pyung pyung pyung my heart huhu o Word Association: Six Degrees Separation, rumor, button, MSC/YGN News, traffic cones, hiccups, piggy banks, text messages, family o EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THIS. I LOVE EVERY PART. IT WAS ON MY WATCHLIST LAST 2018 WHY DID I NOT WATCHED IT THEN. THE ACTING THOUGH YOU JUST FEEL THEIR INTENSE EMOTIONS THROUGH THE SCREEN. FEELS EVERYWHERE. 100000/10

· Romance Is A Bonus Book – 16 heartwarming episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? It’s about romance and books! Lee Jong Suk is on it what more can you ask for? Kidding aside it tells a story of a 30 something mother who to go back to work after 12 years which left a huge gap on her resume, she also got recently divorced and experiencing the repercussion of that, all of the job she applied for has focused on her work gap instead of her skills (which by the way as an HR a very hard truth). She applied as a support role on a publishing company and got hired but by omitting a lot of things on her resume. Oh and her childhood friend, our male lead is actually a co-owner and editor of the company. And he is also in love with her since high school. 9/10 but the fluffiness of the whole series is worth 10/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? YES, Dan-I is totally relatable and Eun Ho is lovable. I love their relationship so much they are each other’s home. 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? With Hae-rin (COME OOON UNREQUITED LOVE AGAIN WITH LJS CHARACTER?), Seo Joon, President Kim, Manager Seo, and our very own Gangnam Leopard YES. Others not so much. 8/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? The OSTs are feel good, the kind of playlist you want to hear when you read or travelling, point to “Rainbow”, “Walking on Sunshine”, “Happy End”also the heart churning feels when “You’re Beautiful” and “ A Story I couldn’t see” begins playing in the bg 10/10 o Would you rewatch? YES over and over and over again o Favorite Episode/Scenes: The first episode with the wedding visuals, so aesthetic with the running in the highway, the power dance was so out of place but it was adorable, the scene where Dan-I reminisce her married life and it just breaks your heart, the essay part of her application is just motivating and sad, WHEN EUN HO WAS DRUNK AND WENT TO DAN-I’s PLACE BECAUSE HE ALWAYS GO THERE WHEN HE MISSES HER AND I JUST AHGSHJAGDKJGHJ, “If that’s love, I love her then”, GANGNAM LEOPARD CLUB SCENE, the subtle Snow confession (what’s with LJS and Snow???) the long brown overcoats comes out I’m there, when Eun Ho rejected Hae Rin so nicely I cry, movie date, the day Dan-I and Eun Ho spent together at their house, all the book pages at the end of each episode o Words Association: THE MOON IS BEAUTIFUL, noona, power pose, love letters, books, seasons change, cucumber allergy, April 23 o This drama is literally a warm blanket on a rainy day. Recommended if you want a pure love story with almost no conflict and mellow storyline – just the thought of finding love and home in the same person is truly heartwarming. For aspiring writers and book lovers! Love the quotable quotes in it and the warm feels it gives 10/10

· Extraordinary You – 16 extraordinary episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? We follow the story of the extras in a comic book. Get it? EXTRAordinary you, haha okaaaay, anyway, its fictional characters becoming aware that they are fictional characters and trying to change their fates, having a life of their own outside the “stage” and all around creating chaos – breaking the 4th wall if you will. We have your cliché high school filled with rich kids and an elite group called A3 (which was funny bc it was almost mocking F4), then we have the female lead who thought she was the main character of the story but was only the love bridge extra for the main characters. And our beautiful male lead who does not even have a name. Very attention-grabbing 10/10 also just found out the drama was based on a webtoon, so it’s a webtoon inside a webtoon nice. o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? Dan-Oh is a fun character to watch, her range of emotions and the way she acts in and out of the stage deserves a standing ovation, I don’t mind Ro Woon’s visual too haha 9/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? Yes to Lee Do Hwa (Because violin playing cutiepie), Joo Da (girl became aware and finally got claws at the end) and Dried Squid Fairy and Su Hyang (because their history is interesting) , not really into Bae Kyung or Nam Joo (who was 2dimensional character until the end) 8/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I loved all the instrumental background music especially “Highschool Runway”, Also “My Beauty” which was very kdrama-esque ending song 7/10 o Would you rewatch? BIG YES o Favorite Episode/Scenes: Every Dan-Oh and Do Hwa’s internal monologue and their bromance, every time Dan Oh breaks character but the page flips, every time she curse and criticize the writer, checking the male population’s back, when Dan-oh opened the umbrella and we got to see Haru’s face *dokidoki*, every reaction when they transition from stage to shadow, I mean kudos to Kim Hye Yoon’s acting from crying to laughing then from head over heels over Bae Kyung then cringing at herself , “It’s Bae Kyung Time”, the scene where Haru and Dan-oh was holding hands and here comes third wheel Do Hwa the way they reacted with Dan Oh’s “Annyeong Lee Do Hwa” made me rofl o Word Association: AYUUU JINJJA, HARUYAAAAA, stage, shadow, page flips, October 10, secret, flower o I love the concept and how it felt like writing fanfiction, you put your favorite characters in alternative universes or different setting and watch them fall in love all over again – in this case destiny also plays a huge part since the writer continuously separate them but they still fall in love with each other outside the stage. It’s fun to see the other side or the fillers whenever characters are not on acting on stage, they have more character depth and development. I definitely love the Sageuk and College AU part. 9/10

· Graceful Family – 16 wild episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? It’s a drama full of Makjang so we are riding on a rollercoaster ride, I am here for all of it gimme gimme that outrageous plot with a dash of crazy family on the side and a group of people who cleans up their messes 9/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? SEOK HEE IS THE BEST FEMALE LEAD YET FREAKING BADASS BITCH QUEEN. Yoon Do is okay but really overpowered by Seok Hee’s strong personality 10/10 for Seok Hee o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? I am very interested in Ms. Han and the Top Team’s deal unfortunately it was not addressed further in the series, wouldn/t mind a mini sequel with them as the main characters, Choi Na Ri and Seo Jin is loooove, and I love Wan Soo with all my heart even after everything that happened 9/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? “Liar” is on my playlist solely for me to feel as badass as Seok Hee and “Black Diamond” because it plays with your emotions 8/10 o Would you rewatch? Solely for all the WTF moments o Favorite Episode/Scenes: ALL THE DINING TABLE SCENES, opening scene in the first episode got me hooked, all Seok Hee scenes made me stay, Wan Soo’s hilarious scenes, that whole hanbok shop scene, whole jail fiasco, when Seok Hee fights head to head with TOP management, PICASSO’S FUNERAL SCENE, Episode 9 when Choi Na Ri moved in, episode 15’s biggest plot twist, Episode 16 and it’s whole 1 hour and 45 minutes of drama o Word Association: Home sweet home, Cannes, Picasso, power vacuum, kingmaker, Auntie o It has a lot of flaws, plotholes and characters you wished was fleshed out but man what an exhilarating ride it was. I love all the dirty secrets in the closets and plot twists (won’t spoil just watch it!) but Seok Hee is definitely the show stealer for me. Soo Hyang’s character here is starkly different with her character in My ID is Gangnam Beauty and it’s really amazing. 9/10

· Hi, Bye Mama – 16 heartbreaking episodes (Finished)

o Is the plot interesting? This is all about mother’s love and the life she left behind. Our female lead died in an accident and has been a ghost for five years watching over her family especially her daughter, she watched how her family moved on – her husband remarried and her daughter grew up with a different mother. The Gods has given her a chance to live again if she gets back her place within 49 days – this means she get the chance to become human again and finally meet her daughter. 9/10 o Am I emotionally invested on the Main Leads? I AM EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN ALL OF THEM. 10/10 o Did I grew attached to the secondary characters? SEO WOO YAAAAAA, Min Jung, her whole family and best friends even the other ghosts and their painful stories YES. 10/10 o Are the OSTs compelling? I was busy crying and could not really hear the bg music because all I hear is my heart breaking a million times. But “Happy” made me happy and sad at the same time and the haunting “Same Town, New Story” instrumental is love o Would you rewatch? I am not sure if I’m ready to cry again o Favorite Episode/Scenes: whole episode 8 is where I broke down crying – I know this whole series is about mother’s and their unconditional love but episode 8 showed fathers and their incomparable love to their daughters and I just asjhdajksd the epilogue in this episode just made me cry nonstop – I am actually crying just remembering that scene, every epilogue will make you ugly cry, every time Seo Woo smiles, Episode 11 and that epic showdown in Kid’s café, when Yu Ri became human again and how happy she was she can hold Seo Woo, every scene with her and Seo Woo bonding, Gang Hwa and the egg, the list of things she wants to do, when Seo Woo finally called her MAMA o Words Association: mother, stepmom, ghosts, “I am happy”, shaman, egg, 49 days o I am emotionally exhausted watching this show, I cried on every episode, this definitely hurt me in every way possible. Highly recommended if you want a good long nonstop cry 10/10

Dramas I did not completely watched sans a few episodes, finished by skipping scenes or reading drama reviews. Warning: total unpopular opinions

2009

· Boys Over Flowers – we all know Hana Yori Dango is superior, I just got bored of recycled scenes and I really don’t like LMH here, sorry

2018

· Scarlet Heart Ryeo - Plot is very interesting but Sageuk dramas are not my cup of tea, reminds me of Fushigi Yuugi which I hated when I was a kid dunno why haha, will look for my motivation to watch the whole drama · Oh My Ghostess – got spoiled, skipped and just read episode summary

2020

· Hello Monster – did not even finish 1st episode, skipped through episode 2 -3, too many plot holes, just read last episode spoilers · Hotel De Luna – finished 7 episodes got distracted by work and life. Plotline is interesting and characters look promising, will rewatch but I already know the spoilers and ending · School 2013 – just read the dramabeans episode reviews, may watch but reminds me of Gokusen concept (which I do love but very repetitive) so may not · Suspicious Partner – I liked the plot but unfortunately did not care too much on the main mystery of the whole show which was who the actual murderer is, did not like the shared childhood trauma, but acting still was good, its just the storyline · Doctor Stranger – I seriously would have loved to finish this because LJS’s acting skills on point (how can he be that seriously angry in North Korea then be clumsy adorkable in South? Howww) but alas, the female lead storyline is cringy I stopped at episode 6, read reviews and it would have been 20 wasted episodes for me · What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim – full of stereotypical tropes I could not finish, too romcom for me and could not invest too much about their history

Watchlist (2020)

· Hospital Playlist · Crash Landing On You · Kill Me, Heal Me · I Am Not A Robot · Sky Castle · Love Alarm

Hit me up with your recommendations, better yet your favorite kdrama and reasons why it’s your fave!

#kdrama #kdrama list #You're Beautiful #Heartstrings #Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo #W: Two Worlds #goblin #strong woman do bong soon #the heirs #my id is gangnam beauty #while you were sleeping #pinocchio #romance is a bonus book #extraordinary you #graceful family #Hi bye mama #eventyrstuff

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jjungkooksthighs · 4 years

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BTS BE ALBUM REVIEW

So, I have seen reviews on albums done before and I wanted to get my thoughts out somewhere. This little thing came into being because of that!

First off, I would definitely recommend BE for those who are struggling. It is a good source of comfort, for sure, if you are going through a rough time and I can understand how others would love this album as I have already seen. I think the boys put in work for this one and it definitely shows! I’m especially proud of Kook for his directing skills in the MV. It was very well done and I am so glad he seemed to have had a good time doing that as he stated in the Global Press Conference yesterday!

BE is a very interesting album in terms of the styles of the songs with three of the eight being retro-themed (Dynamite, Telepathy and Dis-ease) with the other three being slower and more melancholy (Life Goes On, Blue and Grey and Fly To My Room). Personally, I liked 7 better than this one, but that is just my opinion! I have seen lots of other people on Tumblr commenting their favorite songs off BE amongst other loving praises that I’ve come across and I think that is wonderful.

For me, though, I will say that Life Goes On definitely caught me off guard as I wasn’t expecting that style of song at all. Despite that, the fact that my bias directed this MV was something very unique that I really enjoyed seeing. If words would embody this song, I would choose succor’s solace as the epitome of this track. It is relief rolled into audio and it is such a gift to have a song like this in the hard times that we have been attacked with. It is soft yet firm in its tone and both balance each other very well to coalesce into a very comforting song.

This is certainly a song that you’d listen to on the way home from work after a long day or while you’re in the midst of studying, doing schoolwork or even at home working on assignments or tasks for your job. It is also something you’d listen to when you feel like the problems and struggles you face are just too much and need to be reminded that, per the song’s title, life continues on and that we must push forward to enjoy the little things and the big. I liked this track the most, I think. I myself am facing some things in my life right now and the core message of this song resonated deeply with me. To that end, this track is every bit the comfort song they intended it to be and this song, along with Spring Day, sit at the same table for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Fly To My Room’s mellow beat is something that I think would be a great listen at night after the trials and woes of the day and it was interesting to see sope/vmin in the same track and how those two subunits meshed together to create something entirely new and unseen before.

Blue and Grey... this one sounded familiar to me and it took me all but two seconds to realize where I had heard it before. This is the same song that Taehyung teased in Bon Voyage when he was sitting in the canoe out on the lake. The song sounded so very different in this rendition and I was very surprised to see this song in the album when I had originally thought it would be in Tae’s mixtape!

This is definitely a song you listen to in the rain and when the sun has been masked by the clouds in the sky. It is also a song you’d listen to once the sun has set and you walk outside just to have some fresh air and reminisce either about the past or to think on the stresses of your present. I think this track has the power to ease both and that is a powerful thing, indeed.

Telepathy I really liked! I think the upbeat form of this one definitely was a nice break from the slow beat of the first three songs on the album and, because this one is BTS’s love letter to ARMY, I think that is a very special thing that we as their fans should cherish in their thought towards us during the times that have befallen us and taken from us (and them) their ability to see us beyond a screen. I think the flow of the song is perfect and the flux of the voices of the members works very well for the positive energy they are trying to instill in it. From beginning of this song, when I heard it, I knew I was going to like it. It had a starry, celestial vibe to it and for some reason, when I hear it, I think of shooting stars that fly through the night sky.

True to that image, this is a song you’d listen to when you’re with friends to recall the bonds you make with those closest to you (and those farthest from you) no matter where in the world they are. This is a song you’d also listen to to PARTY PARTY, YEAH! (I’m sorry, but ever since I heard that from Kook, it has been living in my mind rent free) In any case, this is a nice song to uplift you and would also be good to put on after a bad day so that you can look back on all the good things life despite the bad. That message is a very strong one, indeed, so that definitely makes this song a favorited one for me.

As an English major at my university, the title of Dis-ease was interesting as someone that often studies semantics and semiotics in language and literature. It was intriguing to see that they chose to deconstruct the word of disease and split it into its alternative form to convey an entirely new meaning from what one might assume the word means at first glance. While they could have chosen to name the song DISEASE, which is a word associated with sickness, illness or an ailing, afflicted health condition that most link with weakness and feebleness, BTS decided to utilize a play on words and use an older version of the word that now has two different meanings linked with it, I found it fascinating that they named the song what they did, for dis-ease was often used in the past to denote a lack of ease or absence of relief in an individual.

It was only later that the word was changed once individuals started tagging health related conditions with actual infections or maladies when viruses and mental illnesses began to gain a name for themselves in the colonizing world. Ironically enough, the word dis-ease is now used by medical practitioners in healing environments for individuals that are on the road to eudemonia or betterment of themselves and the word is purposefully used to endow awareness of compromised health on a singular cause or root.

I don’t think I need to explain why that is significant in the scheme of the situation that our world has come to, but I shall say it anyway: this is meaningful in that BTS decides to fight back and combat the negativity that would threaten to swallow them (and those who listen and internalize the lyrics of the song for themselves and thusly feel the message they are trying to give to us) to instead grapple and wrestle with it by loudly bringing attention to it rather than allowing it to silently consume and germinate within them. This, for me, was very empowering to hear and is one of the many reasons why I appreciate this song in particular amongst the lyrics that target and attack the “diseases” that would try to take from us our wellbeing. The track is a battle cry to keep fighting and that, in it of itself, is a very powerful thing that strikes very deep within me. The bridge at the end with Kook and Jimin, by the way… literal EARGASM, MA’AM. Anyway, this is a song that you’d listen to in the morning to get yourself hype for the day. It is something you’d put on in the desire to boost your spirits if they are low and honestly could be listened to in any situation.

Lastly, we have Stay. This subunit of NamKookJin was certainly a pleasant surprise to me! Kook’s involvement in writing this track doesn’t go unnoticed in the emotion that is present in his voice (amongst Joon and Jin, of course), but there’s also something about this song that goes straight for the heartstrings in the pledge of continued loyalty that is subliminal in its subtlety. I adored this song and this track’s EDM style was a wonderful finale of the album in its summation that there are low points in life (as the first few tracks suggest) and that there are high points and life. I think that through this song, the three boys who sang in it were wonderful in their energy that was so vibrant.

It was wonderful to hear the three of them meld together in a unit that also was unlike what we have heard before. I know the song must have meant a lot to the three of them because Joon is Kook’s role model as he has stated many times and to sing with one’s idol would certainly be a powerful thing, indeed. The fact that Jin was in it too much have had so much meaning for Kook since Jin is like a brother to him and took care of him (and honestly, he still does, let’s be real) when he was younger.

The song’s lyrics themselves reach out to the ARMY that Jungkook said the song was meant for in his, Joon’s and Jin’s efforts to remind us that, as their fans, they hope that we will always remain with them and that they know the times are going to change for the better. I enjoyed this song very much and it would definitely be a song you’d listen to be reminded of the love that BTS has for you and that despite everything, you will always have a place with them even if you feel lost in the world around you. I think a situation you’d put this on would be when you are need just that extra bit of confidence to get you through an anxiety inducing time whether it be a test for school or even a meeting for work.

With all of this in mind, my favorite songs are as follows: Dis-ease, Telepathy, Stay and Life Goes On. It is hard to pick a favorite among those four, but those were my most liked tracks for sure!

Overall, I think the album definitely is one meant to soothe the soul and the boys have succeeded in that without fail. It is clear that the boys worked hard on this and their efforts were not vain! This is an album that I think we all needed to close out a tough year and it took me some to get all my thoughts together, but now that I have listened to the whole album once again, I’m liking it more with each time I hear it. It is always amazing to me how BTS continues to do what no one else does: letting their genuine feelings shine through their music that inspires light in so many. I am proud of each and every one of them and they deserve some hard earned rest after their efforts!

#be review #the album was good #boys worked hard #sorry if this is long lmao #jungkook #bts

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taekooktimeline · 4 years

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What are your thoughts on all the lyrics Taehyung wrote containing the word girl ? Seeing taekookers thinking this means taekook is not real makes me either laugh or cry really hard

There are different reasons why Tae has used the word “girl” or the feminine pronouns in some of his songs and they are compatible with Taekook being real. We are going to give our opinion on the 3 occasions he has used them.

First of all, he said “girl” in his impromptu “slow motion” song because he was making it up on the spot and it’s an easy word to use to fill up space. He isn’t going to say “Boy” when singing romantic lyrics if he isn’t out of the closet. It’s extremely common for closeted singers to sing using pronouns of the opposite gender. One example would be Ricky Martin, who was closeted when his famous song “livin la vida loca” came out (lyrics include “that girl’s gonna make me fall...she took my heart ...once you’ve had a taste of her you’ll never be the same”).

Secondly, he used “she” in winter bear because it’s a song he probably wrote for his grandparents that passed away. He says “She looks like a blue parrot, wish you could fly to me” & “looks like a winter bear, you sleep so happily”. The Blue Spix’s macaw from the famous movie Rio was declared extinct in the wild in 2018 while winter bears are hibernating/sleeping. Both references remind us of loss.

Finally, he said “girl” in the early rough version of a song he was working on during the time the Break The Silence was filmed. Part of the lyrics were “who’s the main character of the story that starts with a blank white paper?” and that’s the exact phrase that Tae once used to describe Army when members were asked. Additionally, this song had a message very similar to the one from Scenery - which Tae said was for army. Jk told him to try songwriting seriously and shortly after Tae showed the first version of Scenery. Since both songs talk about a “story” & “memories”, the untitled talking about falling in love while Scenery talked about making someone (army) his (“I want to make you mine”), it seems like Tae developed the idea behind the first untitled and that’s how Scenery came to be. Tae has specified that Scenery was about showing his true self to army so he didn’t just say it was dedicated to army as an excuse. In the song he talks to the moon while in the park and that’s when we assume he shows his vulnerability & true self to army. Later on he sings about wanting to preserve army (“make you mine”) and it ends with him hoping army don’t leave. In conclusion, he was talking to army when he said “girl” in the untitled.

Though some would hesitate to assume identity, since we believe taekook are in a romantic relationship, we would like to point out that Tae has given a lot of LGBTQ hints and we believe it would be a shame to disregard these hints solely because of a song utilizing a female pronoun.

While lyrics are open to interpretation, the LGBTQ community has repeatedly identified with his song “Stigma” over the years. Both Joon and Tae have not disclosed the meaning behind this song and other songs on the Wings album, such as Hobi’s, Suga’s and Jk’s, are based off disclosed personal experiences. It can be assumed Tae’s is personal as well. If it was for the BU, it wouldn’t make sense that no one has discussed the meaning behind it. Joon wrote “Singularity” with Tae in mind and there are suspicions it’s based off the book “Confessions of a Mask”, which is about a closeted man in Japan that Joon himself recommended. His song “4 o clock” also has LGBTQ coded lyrics (referencing the movie “Moonlight”).

He has acknowledged pride month the last few years. He has discussed the LGBTQ movie “Call me by your name” a total of three different times between 2019 & 2020’s Pride Month, as well as honoring it by playing a piano piece from the soundtrack. The latest time he referenced it, the monologue was about living life on your own terms while embracing the pain that is attached to happiness, and the next day on Weverse he wrote “I want to be happy too🥺”. He posted a seleca with a sun on his nose when sungay trended. He also said BTS newest song “dynamite” is like the colors of the rainbow, with a pointed pause after.

It’s at least interesting that he has had no problem showing his feminine anima. He has participated in a drag competition as a kid, danced in heels, worn a female wig and worn fake flower petal nails in a Run ep.

Tae has also been extremely loud in his support of the community. He has worn the NFL issued LGBTQ rainbow shirt on stage, has been seen with a rainbow pin, had a rainbow accessory on his phone and has also worn a safety pin, which is for oppressed minorities, one being the LGBTQ community. He also is a huge fan of various LGBTQ artists: Troye Sivan, Sam Smith, Gucci’s director Alessandro Michele, the painter Basquiat, and the photographers Ante Badzim and Ryan McGinley - among others.

DISCLAIMER - While all of the above doesn’t inclusively mean someone is part of the community, there’s quite a few hints/messages from Tae over the years that, totalling up, indicate he may identify with them.

#taekooktimeline #asks #discussions

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kdramaanalyst · 4 years

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THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH REVIEW

EDIT: I AM SO SORRY, THIS IS A SECONDARY BLOG AND I JUST LEARNED THAT I CAN'T REPLY TO COMMENTS. PLEASE CHECK MY PINNED BLOG WHERE I WROTE ABOUT THIS PROBLEM. THANK YOU!

Spoilers ahead!!! Read at your own risk. Once again, I am not an expert and these are my personal opinions. If you have disagreements, let's talk it over. Don't judge me, let's judge the show together instead and have an understanding.

For the first drama that I am going to review, I chose The King: Eternal Monarch. A lot of viewers who supported the show with all of their hearts could still not get over its ending. Others who like to binge-watch are relieved because they can finally watch the entire series without waiting for a new episode to air. While some are still mulling over about watching it. Well, I hope I could help you with this review.

• Introduction to the Drama

Short gist:

The story revolves around Lee Gon, present King of Kingdom of Corea. He witnessed his father’s death when he was young, an incident that haunted him until he grew older. Due to unfortunate circumstances, a legendary flute with powers called Manpasikjeok that can open different worlds was cut in half. He was able to get hold half of the flute, while the other half was obtained by Lee Lim, his uncle who killed his father. Lee Lim had been going back and forth two different worlds, plotting foul pursuits to fulfill his evil desires, and disrupting the peace between the two worlds. In order to restore balance and order, Lee Gon also traveled between worlds, meeting Jeong Tae Eul who soon became a significant person in his life.

If you've been watching Korean Dramas for quite a while now, you must be familiar with some of the characters of The King: Eternal Monarch, especially the lead.

If you call yourself a k-drama fan and you don't know who Lee Minho is, give yourself a slap (just kidding, please don't take that seriously). Lee Minho has a good reputation because of his experience, acting skills and obviously, his gorgeous face. He has an impressive list of successful dramas and movies! Most of us probably knew him through his breakthrough role in Boys Over Flowers.

Meanwhile, Kim Go Eun, despite being fairly new to small screen (she first started appearing in movies), is also highly distinguished by a lot of k-drama fans. In all three dramas she starred in, including The King, she always got the lead role. His leading men are no joke either. And because of Kim Go Eun, many of us still wants to be the goblin's bride.

Among the cast also includes the familiar faces of Woo Do Hwan, Kim Kyung Nam, Jung Eun Chae, and Lee Jung Jin.

Anyway, I'll try to share every thought I have from the first time I watched it until it ended. I will also try not to give so much spoilers because the drama just ended. I will talk first about my experience watching it and then I will list at the very bottom some of the issues I have and that list contains major spoilers so watch out for that. As you notice, I always warn you with spoilers using red font color.

• The Experience

When I watched the first teaser of the drama, I got intrigued and a little confused. What worlds are they talking about? Do they have super powers? Is this a historical drama? Questions were instantly formed in my head.

It also reminded me of the drama Queen In Hyun's Man because of a similar scene where the leading man is riding his horse in the middle of the city and finding his woman. But that's just it, the two dramas are completely different. I just mentioned it because others may have felt the same way.

I don't usually watch dramas while it's still fresh. I wait for about two to three weeks before the schedule of the ending so I can binge watch without waiting so much. When I watched The King, there were already 12 episodes available on Netflix. Usually, I would finish 12 episodes in 1-3 days, and if the drama is really good and it's MY STYLE (i said that in an obviously fake Korean accent), I could watch it for an entire day.

However, I finished those 12 episodes in 2 weeks...

Why??? Why did it take me that long???

I wouldn't say I was bored, it's just that during the first few episodes, nothing caught my interest yet. I wasn't convinced that it was a good drama. There was nothing special and I didn't know what to look forward to that's why I couldn't watch it continuously. I got lazy. The pace was slow and the story build up was a little stagnant. It was too slow that I even started watching a long length saeguk just so I can watch something else.

I could have skipped some parts and dropped it but I continued watching and gave it a chance. Though it was a good thing that I didn't stop because as I watched more episodes, the story actually became more exciting. Finally, I saw some progress. I started to get invested in the drama after the eighth episode. That's when the story felt more alive. Finally, there were revelations, more conflicts arose, more emotions were shown, and the story got deeper. I began to appreciate the drama. However, I still don't like the fact that it took me 8 episodes before I started to like it.

• Points that I Liked About the Drama

1. The plot seemed like it's going to be too science fiction-y but it's just the right amount. I was worried that it might be too much for me to handle but it was just okay (i am a potato who dislikes thinking so much, but that depends on my mood lololol). I liked how there's a mix of history in the drama, as well as of politics but it still feels modern. There is a balance.

2. The distinction between the Kingdom of Corea and Republic of Korea is impressive. It's obvious that they put a lot of effort in building their vision of KOC to life.

3. Many people were saying that it's hella confusing and so much was going on. I don't think so. They actually made it easy for viewers to understand about parallel worlds. You don't have to study science facts just to get this drama's concept. I think the slow pace did its job well in this part.

4. The story is unpredictable. You never know what's going to happen next, that's the strength of The King's concept. Because of the two different worlds and the crazy number of characters, there could be a lot of possibilities and backstories.

5. The action scenes are commmendable. I liked the action scenes, the one during the last episode is probably my favorite.

• Points that I Didn't Like About the Drama

1. The slow pace. I don't think I still need to explain more but it totally ruined my whole experience of watching the drama.

2. Many characters didn't leave much impact. Their acting was great, however, I don't see a lot of personalities that standout. The most remarkable ones for me are the characters played by Woo Do Hwan. The other characters, especially the lead, the prime minister and the traitor were okay, too. The others were just bland and years from now, I probably won't remember most of them.

• The Ending (spoiler alert!)

The ending was good. It didn't feel rushed and everyone had a separate ending of their own. I just wished there was more Nari and Eunsup / Yeong and Seung A moment in the end, the conclusion was fine though. I don't like that Prime Minister Koo ended up in jail but Luna became a cop...

I just have one issue regarding the ending that they decided on. In the end they didn't show if Tae Eul became a queen. Well, it would be weird if she became one considering there is Luna in KOC. They can't be together in ROK, too because Gon's counterpart was able to live. So... what? They just kept traveling whenever they have time? Because if that's the case, doesn't that mean they will hide their relationship forever??? I liked that they ended up together but I wish they also kept this in mind. Because it kinda makes me sad. Lol.

• Final Thoughts

Overall, it was alright. It was over-hyped by netizens due to the amazing casting and promotions, but it's not bad at all.

Would I watch it again? No.

Would I recommend it? Yes. Give it a try! I honestly thought I wouldn't like it but I still did, even if it took me 8 episodes, I wouldn't say it wasn't worth it. If you enjoy fantasy dramas with complicated twists and conflicts, this drama is for you. Just have patience and prepare yourself mentally when you've reached the middle. This drama is gloomy and a little heavy, too. It was serious and has a very few humorous scenes.

I am giving The King: Eternal Monarch a 7/10. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

• The King: Eternal Monarch OST Top 5

There are 13 songs in total and everything is so good! I wish I got to hear more of the songs in the drama, some were just played briefly. I swear every song makes me feel things. Choosing just 5 songs is really hard. If you don't watch dramas but love music, give these a listen!!!

My Day Is Full Of You by Zico, Wendy

Orbit by Hwasa

I Fall In Love by Ha Sungwoon

I Just Want To Stay With You by Zion.T

Please Don't Cry by Davichi

Now I'll move on to some of my "issues". This section isn't really what you think. The word "issues" is just intriguing ㅋㅋㅋ but this is just a compilation of my opinions, observations, feelings and other stuff no one might care about in the series. If you have answers for my questions or if you can explain it for me, please enlighten me. Major spoiler ahead!!!

• Issues

1. During the time when Lee Gon was time traveling and finally got back to Repuplic of Korea, it probably took him a lot of time, right? He even took his time to take care of Tae Eul in the hospital. I wish they also showed what was happening in Kingdom of Corea during that time because he's a king and his absence might have caused a ruckus in his kingdom. I can even picture the palace lady Noh getting really worried as Lee Gon travels. The moment he came back, they only gave him updates as if everything was okay.

But since they didn't show it, I guess it is safe to assume that nothing much happened in his kingdom back then. 🤷‍♀️

2. When Gon and Tae Eul met again in Gwanghwamun, why did Tae Eul hug him? In my understanding, at that period of time, Tae Eul only met him twice—once when she was 5 and once when she was 27. So why did she hug him suddenly as if she knows he's going to be a significant person in her life? Their dialogue when they met again when she was 27 wasn't even enough for her to act that way.

3. I hope they also gave Nari more lines and importance. Maybe it's just me, but at first, I thought she and her KOC counterpart would have more significant roles. When I think of it, even without her, the story could still go on. Though this is just a minor issue. ✌

4. Prime Minister Koo. She was a villain, but I didn't really hate her until the last 4-5 episodes (can't recall the exact episode, sorry), though I wouldn't say I hated her so much. I actually liked her at first! She's ambitious, fierce, independent and intelligent. She just got blinded by greed.

My issue here is, am I really supposed to feel like that? In my opinion, her character has the potential to become more heinous and despiteful. I was wondering why they didn't turn her into someone like that? She was just greedy, bitchy, a little sly and annoying.

5. Lee Gon's and Tae Eul's love for each other was a little shallow. Sure, the man who saved Lee Gon when he was a child, had Tae Eul's ID. But how sure was Lee Gon that the woman who owns the I.D. is not a villain? The woman in the ID could lead him to the man who saved him, yes, but it still bugs me how easily they fell in love especially on Lee Gon's part. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. I am sorry. 😅

In spite of that, I still liked their love progression. I didn't ship them that hard but their chemistry wasn't cringey and forced.

6. The scene where Lee Gon gave Tae Eul flowers and then left, was a little confusing. It didn't break my heart, too. I just felt a little sad while watching that scene because Kim Go Eun's acting was good.

7. Who the f is thay yoyo boy??? My guts tell me he's a part of the flute or something because he knows a lot. But I wish it was explained more. It looked weird how he just suddenly appears sometimes and suddenly talks some sense. He remains a mystery.

8. Why the f is Jeong Tae Eul a flat earther??? Well, at least she had a character development in the end. It just annoyed me lmao

9. I don't get why people keep comparing The King: Eternal Monarch to Goblin. Why??? They don't even have the same plot or concept.

10. Court lady Noh was from Republic of Korea... What? Was that necessary?

Don't mind me. Don't mind me. Don't mind me.

Anyway I hate how tumblr wasn't able to save my draft when I was writing additional content. I lost half of it and it makes me furious!!! I had to redo the draft but I can no longer remember some of the things I wrote. I am sad because I lost something that can't be brought back again. This experience earned me a lesson.

That's it for my first review. What are your thoughts? I am a horrible reviewer, I know, but I will do better in the future. Thank you for reading!!!

#the king: eternal monarch #the king #kdrama #korean drama #korean series #lee minho #kim go eun #woo dohwan #kim kyungnam #jung eunchae #lee jung jin #goblin #queen inhyun's man

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kim-lexie · 5 years

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april favorites.

music.

awaken by nct 127. this japanese debut slayed my existence and i have not awaited a full length album like i did this one. seriously as soon as i heard the clips i was dying waiting for the song ‘lips’ and ‘kitchen beat’. it did not disappoint!

crying over you (feat. RM & BEKA) by honne. this track is insane and i would like to thank namjoon for always introducing us to great artists and talented humans.

NCT LIVE. a blessing an absolute blessings these crazy talented beautiful men. i had the opportunity to go to miami and see their beautiful faces live, and can i just say they are incredible. i 100 out of 10 would recommend. seeing these beauties in person. their talent and hilarious nature will seriously blow you away.

miroh by stray kids. dang these precious beans never disappoint! this song is a total bop and i love it.

map of the soul: persona by bts. dang these boys never disappoint. every single comeback, all of the tracks are absolute bops. seriously. i cannot deal with how insanely proud i am of these men and their hard work and effort they pour into everything they do. i love them mom. i loved the halsey collaboration, and their performance at the BBMAs was everything. i love this friendship. i also love the collaboration with ed sheehan for insanely amazing bop ‘make it right’. like this song is on repeat all day, every day. ‘mikrokosmos’ live versions really just put me in my feels. every song is a bop and no one can tell me otherwise. happy listening fellow army!

dramas & movies. *spoilers alert*

the dude in me/inside me. a film with jin-young. i saw this pop up and immediately needed to watch it because jin-young of course! i was not disappointed. it had an interesting concept and i absolutely loved it in its entirety. i appreciated both storylines, and how everything wrapped up nicely at the conclusion. there were hilarious moments, as well as moments that were tender hearted. it took me forever to realize that the teen was actually jin-young but with prothstetics on! crazy good makeup artists! i would rate it a 9 out of 10. some memorable moments of mention:

- when he was able to stand up for himself and end up protecting the other students that were being bullied in the process. how he started wanted to protect himself but grew to protect those around him.

- when mi-sun came out from the kitchen with the gas and the match to protect pan-so and confessed how she actually felt all this time! like for real, and i’m like they better switch back bodies bc that would be oh so unfortunate.

- i about died laughing when hyun-jung confessed to pan-so as dong-hyun and how he reacted. it was hilarious.

- the nice ending. like seriously pan-so got out of the gang. mi-sun and pan-so end up reconnecting after all those years. and of course our dong-hyun ended up with hyun-hung TT

splash splash love. this was such a good two part show! i loved the aspect of the historical drama. quite reminded me of ‘moonlight drawn by stars’ without as many of the complications. it was nice and light hearted. i loved how they incorporated the little endings with all the characters, and how they ended up meeting in the present day! i would seriously watch this one over and over again! i would give it a 10 out of 10.

my first first love. a lighthearted quick drama to watch, absorb, and then hang on and cling to once it is finished. so many questions unanswered. this very well could and should have been a full length release of 16 episodes but no its only 8. and let me tell you it did not satisfy my jisoo and jinyoung needs. for sure i love both of these talented men, but seriously this was made out to be jisoo’s drama to end all and finally be the the freaking first male lead! i clung so hard to this but freaking jinyoung got the the girl. like for real that is not what i expected. for sure it was cute but lets be real for a second it is destiny for tae-oh and song yi to be together move over do-hyun. i loved that every character was followed and was dynamic. i am expectant to see what they do with all the characters but i love all of them. except se-hyun like she is using our boo for her own personal gain and that is not okay

persona. i was seriously excited when i heard that IU would have her own netflix series. and this was something unexpected. a unique concept for sure. 4 part unrelated episodes with various storylines. each with its own quirks, darkness, and twisted perspective. truly this is not something i would typically watch and truthfully its probably not something i would watch again. it was super short so that’s probably why i finished it. but probably would only rate it a 3 out of 10, but the cinematography and acting was insane, just not my taste.

the expiration date of you and me. KBS drama special. this was a cute short watch. i enjoyed how we bounced from present to past and how the end was allusive but light. i appreciate how the girl who had a crush on our main actor ended up with his friend. and how neither of them had found love yet at the end. it was cute and i would 8 out of 10 recommend.

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sherryaptx4869 · 6 years

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Gintama: My two cents

So this lengthy post is my consolidated response to 30-Day Gintama challenged posted here on tumblr.

I am entitled to my own opinion and so do you. If you don’t like the content and direction of my writing, feel free to leave and there’s really no need to be crass. Credits are due to the makers and editors of the fanarts I used (randomly grabbed from the internet, those are not mine), and also to the production of the Gintama anime where I took some screenshots. Of course, Gintama is owned by the troll master Sorachi Hideaki.

Why you like Gintama

I like Gintama because of the unique way it unraveled its story (in no chronological order either, no solid plot and the fourth wall is crumbling, production and the characters are not even trying, and many scenes are blatant plagiarism, recycled and half-assed work). It had its own way of creeping under your skin, and it grows on you. Most importantly its mangaka Sorachi Hideaki is such a tease that when you think you already know where the story is heading, he trolls you and make a fool out of you.

How you discovered Gintama

A friend recommended it to me because she knew I was enamored with Oguri Shun who was cast as the live action actor for the main character so she recommended that I watch the anime.

Favorite opening song

Donten by Dozu because there was a version of Gintoki and Hijikata’s Seiyuu singing the song (or trolling the song, idk haha)

Favorite ending song

Mr. Raindrops because Elizabeth was so damn cute in the video…

Random screenshot

This is the Cherry Blossom viewing where once again, Tae is the person bringing the Yorozuya and Shinsengumi together. And just look at the five them (Gintoki, Otae, Shinpachi, Kagura and Sadaharu) enjoying the view of sakura. And this was the first encounter of OkiKagu so yeah!

Favorite Male character

I am torn between Hijikata Toshiro and Kotaro Katsura.

Least favorite male character

It would be Kondo Isao I guess. He actually looked cool when he’s in charge of the Shinsengumi, but his moral compass gets lost when he’s stalking Tae.

Random fanart

The context is from the movie Be Forever Yorozuya.

Favorite female character

Guess… it’s Shimura Tae... She’s pretty and strong inside and out.

Least favorite female character

I think it will be Tsukuyo because she becomes a hooligan when she’s drunk.

Random screenshot

This is Kagura, the wart.

Elizabeth or Sadaharu

I’ll go for the fluffier creature --> Sadaharu! Or maybe justaway too :D

Favorite Pairing

It’s Okikagu hands down. Whereas GinTae is like an old married couple for the way they act and the way they understand each other more than words, Okikagu’s dynamics (their rivalry) are mostly immature and childish even for Sogo who is a freaking Shinsengumi officer. Oddly though, Okita and Kagura understand each other with their fists haha. I do think that Okita hides his sublimated sexual attraction to Kagura by provoking her to bite his head off every single time they see each other.

Least favorite pairing

Gintoki being paired with Tsukuyo.

Favorite episode

Ep 364 where Sogo’s constant smile as he fought Kagura (cosplaying as Kanna) exposed his feelings for her (this episode is gold haha)

Saddest episode

When Shogun Shige Shige died :(

Funniest episode

When Catherine transformed into a very pretty, young woman.

Favorite Arc

Yagyuu Arc. There’s been a lot of goldmines there for my ships haha.

Least favorite arc

I think it would be the one where Shinpachi found himself a penpal and he made Okita pose as Patsuan.

Random fanart

Before Shinpachi became an ikemen haha

A song that reminds you of one of the characters

Immortals by Fall Out Boy reminds me of Kawakami Bansai.

A song that reminds you of Gintama

Pray. It is the first opening song and it was catchy.

Anime or manga?

I think I like the manga better. Some scenes in the manga are not adapted in the anime.

A fanfic

Unsaid by Citruspeel (for GinTae) (http://citruspeel.tumblr.com/post/175300814216/unsaid-oneshot) and As Sick as they can get (for Okikagu) (https://sky-metaphors.tumblr.com/)

Favorite Quote

“Guys who get in the way of love should be kicked to death by a horse.” – Yagyuu Gramps

Random page from manga

Lesson 689 page 12

Character you relate to the most

Hijikata Toshiro being the guy who cleans up the mess his boss and his younger subordinate got themselves into.

Character that reminds you of a friend

Madao because of his shades haha.

Favourite manga volume

I only read the most recent ones actually (because the anime took on a hiatus), so it would have to be the volume containing the Silver Soul Arc (by default).

Why you would recommend Gintama to others

Because

1. Oguri Shun is Gintoki in the live action <3

2. Because a very subtle yet deep connection (between Gin and Tae) is woven into the intricately crafted moments spread out in the entire series, building on mutual trust, respect and family among others.

3. It paved its way to success by plagiarizing/ parodying (most of the time especially the early episodes were parodies of well-known anime and manga)

4. The cast is composed of strong, independent ladies able to kick asses.

5. It’s a welcome breath of fresh air in the anime world because of its twisting (twisted) plot.

#Gintama #my thoughts #my otp #gintae #okikagu #shimura tae #sakata gintoki #kagura #okita sogo #yorozuya #shinsengumi #edo #a penny for your thoughts #my two cents

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wreckthelist · 4 years

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on ‘BE’ing here: part i

rambling of sorts on Grammy nominated artist Bangtan Sonyeondan

(note 1: I was planning to complete this the day of the nomination, but judging from the state of how things are - this right here is the opportune moment to, as my friend Mint had put it, clear out whatever I’ve been wanting to do but didn’t get the time to)

When Spotify announced, loud and clear, on that 2020 Year-End summary instagram story, Dynamite was the song that helped me through 2020 (this fuck-up of a year), that wasn’t an understatement.

I’ve seen Bangtan before, heard of them in passing, even (slightly, really slightly - when you’re hanging out in film-dom or western doms, I doubt you’d come in contact with a full-fledged Korean dom as it is, or perhaps my circles were small and quite closed in on themselves. Regardless!) - and opened that Boy With Luv SNL performance for my parents on the TV in the living room, not long after they went on the show. But it took that one song, one full English song, for me to listen.

(sorry and thank you Namjoon for that diss. Yes, the song’s message’s definitely digestible and easy to consume - for foreign, western audiences. No one much had to care what you guys had to say way back when and they were wrong for it.)

Dynamite pretty much saved my life. (Still waiting for that damn vinyl, BigHit. Think I’ll get it come new year’s.)

The first time I started listening, I couldn’t really stop. I think I played and replayed and replayed the song 20++ times as I did mundane household chores which were asked of me in the morning. Sunday August 24th, my life was transformed (and my digital and physical wallets along with it. Sobs.)

I had no idea who was singing which part, no idea which boy was which, but what got me in, locked and loaded and in place, were the beats, the uplifting sounds that got me dancing again after a messy heartbreak caused by a personification of immaturity who had refused to let go. I was only one week into my new job (old job again now. Such is the way of life - and we lead separate ones now, no reason to cry over invisible lives and imagined smiles or smirks of satisfactions I am not in any current position privy to - or will ever be. Thank God.)

Then there were the messages - the lyrics - “I’m diamond, you know I glow up.” - I mean, Yes, Fucking YES - Kim Seokjin, of course I’m a piece of precious Jewel. Of course I am one and whole of myself and one of a kind (apologies for being cliches, felt good to type out loud right). Asked on Twitter who the “other black-haired” guy was and learned that it was Hobi. Spent time watching a couple of interviews, took 3 hours to tell the boys apart (”You had a lot of free time,” Shareef said, amused, and I quite abashedly admitted to him yes.), and picked him as my bias (little did I know).

I was attracted (still am) to sunshine. I needed smiles and laughters like his in my life. He stood out to me in almost every interview, beaming with his heart-shaped lips and his eternal catchphrase - “I’m your hope.” I was exactly at that point in my life when I needed to hear that. From him, in that voice, from those lips, with those eyes.

And I thought, dear god. I’m always attracted to guys who bring smiles to my face. Of course it has to be him.

(Natalie replied “You’ve joined the party!” in a reply to my screencap of Taehyung wearing those adorable black-rimmed glasses on Stephen Colbert not long after.

That Beatles-Boy With Luv performance remains one of my favorites.)

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Bangtan has since performed and performed and performed Dynamite, and to this day I and the rest of the fandom have witnessed and seen about 30++ performances of Dynamite, and it has yet to grow old on us. (Well.) I swear I can still play the song at least once a day, and that irresistible bubble of hope in Jungkook’s voice in the opening simply shines through. The rest of the song just does its magic - every single time.

I mean, “Life is sweet as honey,” “I’m in the stars tonight,”? Talk about hope, about confidence, looking forward. Straight and simple as that. I had yet to discover what BTS truly has in store.

Note 2: My favorite dance move in the performance itself is Hoseok’s, for the Japanese taping (FNS Music Festival) right here.

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After Dynamite, I burned through the usual favorites, seeing as there was a literal treasure trove of Bangtan songs to discover and listen to, thanks also to this chart.

Go Go and Pied Piper are fun teases to listen to every now and then. Their Halloween dance practice and MNet countdown (I could die over Tae’s clear-rimmed glasses) are bundles of colorful energy. (Until I came across Lotte 2018 Jungkook?! Adding Best of Me here because it’s become a recent favorite. Dance moves are impeccable. There was a stint in my life where I was watching the Airplane Pt. 2 MV almost every day because of how in love I was over Taehyung’s whole look - pink hair, flowing robes, and how the boys pull off their outfits. )

I proceeded mainly through the orange branch, bought myself a few Love Yourself albums along the way, and the day I saw this Min Yoongi in In the Soop, my Bangtan life took a turn.

Yep. Simplicity.

What’s not to fall in love with?

One of my current, low-ranking regrets may include having forgotten the exact moment I first listened to Trivia: 轉 Seesaw, but I fell hard and deep. To that point of no return when I read the lyrics and that analogy Yoongi had penned.

I mean, add Autumn Leaves (the complexity of layered notes, beats, and resulting emotions... ah) and you’ve got this king of breakup songs right here.

What beautiful words, what gorgeous language. I wish I could learn Korean just to fully appreciate the message.

Another friend recommended me Butterfly and I lost my shit realizing they referenced Murakami.

More obscure songs like 134340, Paradise and Sea I didn’t get to till much later. Whalien 52 could make me cry just with the lyrics alone (I doubt my exes had ever felt that level of emotional toward me - the more tragic thing is that the doubt would always exist). Just One Day was that track I had on loop this one afternoon I had to go into town for a dinner party, and Miss Right was an accidental discovery that had me grinning and blushing to the boys’ voices alone, same as 21st Century Girl (’Cause you’re my only girl, oh yea. If you love me, just say it straight. We love a confident but committed guy.)

*Dope is that one MV I waited to watch because of my love of uniforms and managed to get to on a day I could not recall.

*This MIC Drop MAMA performance is the hottest clothes-on, turn on performance I’ve ever watched.

Coffee was the track I first listened to on a drive back from a rather unsuccessful and uneventful beach (bitch?!) trip, and the bitter nostalgia cut me deep. Jungkook’s voice could string up my soul any day of the week. Yes, baby, I still drink Caramel Macchiato every time I think of you - the song, not the person, or any person at all.

I discovered HOME because of this comfy Kimmel performance and died over the camaraderie and obvious ties they have as a family.

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Plus a blue-themed home, uh, have you seen my bedroom, sir?

Boy With Luv will cheer me up any time of day - no thoughts but blue haired Tae and bubblegum pink haired #Jimim, indeed. (That mirroring of a glow-up from the 상 남자 of Boy In Luv is genius. Girl, ‘m not begging for you no more, but letting you know that I’m whole and ready and intent on keeping you safe.)

Spring Day I listened to on an off day in October and wrenched my own heart over the lyrics, even starting off a chapter in one of my fics with the verses that hit me most in particular.

The ON:E concert re-introduced me properly to Filter, My Time (sexy personified as a performance), Persona, Interlude: Shadow, Ego, UGH!, Moon (Prince Kim Seokjin - you have my heart, and my light, always), and 00:00 (picked up through Twitter that it was the song for personal therapy and reminded me of that quote - nothing good ever happens between midnight and 2am, go to sleep. Add 2!3!, which I’d properly listened to after viewing the ON:E exhibit, to this and we are done.)

It wasn’t until I listened to Blood, Sweat, and Tears that I went full-blown head over heels (more than I was before). I’m a musical theater kid, have always been at heart, and those boys dancing in the suits and literature and arts references. You could have just plunged that knife a bit deeper into my heart.

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Needless to say that I bought Demian couple of days after (my 3rd Herman Hesse! Regrettably not my favorite.)

Blood, Sweat and Tears joins my own mini self-compilation of songs on the attraction and sublime relishing of a toxic relationship. That sweet temptation that’s so lush in theory yet acidic in real life.

You’re willing to give it all to this person, this passion, this love, this lure of attraction, imprisonment, and just lose yourself.

You’re begging to be hurt, even when you know it.

You’re asking to stay bathed in acid, drown yourself in punishment, and you’re okay. As long as the “you” in the lyrics is ok - to have you.

You’ve signed over your mind, your body and soul - “I know well they’re all yours” - what sinful admittance, what a delicious way to say you’re under the other’s spell. Not like I haven’t been there before (fitting to think of Jimin holding that apple. God.)

“Peaches and Cream/Sweeter than Sweet/Chocolate Cheeks and Chocolate Wings” - talk about dessert, about diabetic, diabolical sweetness that both indulge and burn your soul. These are saccharine metaphors and goddamn if I wasn’t and am all over them.

Sweet as they are, they melt - they expire, they’re tangible but transient, and you’ve chosen to have them anyway, just to taste them, just to know, to satisfy your sense and just to possess.

“There is a ‘bitter’ next to your ‘sweet’“ - this is my kind of writing. My kind of getting your sweet now and being punished for it later, the kind my friend had commented before of living for today and choosing to forgo the punishments of tomorrow that you’re all too aware of.

And here comes Hoseok!

Kiss me, it's okay if it hurts Just make it as tight As that I can't feel the pain anymore

Goddamn. That Blade Runner 2049 phrase about how pain makes you human - this is next level of hurting just so you could feel. This is hurting to know that it’s real - that the ‘you’ exists - and this “tightness”, this tense sensation, is only reminding you that the lover(?) is worth the pain (grit your teeth and continue!)

Baby, it's okay if I get drunk I'll drink you in deep now Deep into my throat The whiskey that is you

Intoxication - another one of my favorite topics sprouting a platitude of interpretations. Aside from being a sucker (and loving it myself) of saying “baby,” (signaling intimacy, no less) - this is an artful, eloquent way to sketch another version of “love is the/a drug,” which the lover/”you” is consciously consuming with consent.

There’s a repeat in the “d’s” that definitely conjures an imagery of diving deeper and deeper into a bottomless abyss, or of drinking your bottles dry - but this is a translation so that’s that.

But where we have been (or were) in love, we could feel the other person intoxicating, consuming us, consuming our senses, straying our conscience, blurring the lines among reality, reasoning and our own thoughts and what they may have driven us to think or view, just like alcohol or drugs would lead you to do. That inebriated state would be just a self-enriching cycle of docile submission and self-driven continuance.

It doesn't matter if it hurts Tie me up so I can't escape Hold me tight and shake me up So that I can't come to my senses

Like Jimin with the cloth over his eyes in the MV, this is another conscious decision to be held imprisoned, bounded, senses so disrupted you’re choosing to stay. I don’t know about you, but there’s an inkling of weakness in me when I’d chosen to do that, to opt for that choice and stay in something I was fully aware from experience wasn’t going to last (’can’t come to my senses’) but choosing to blind myself to indulge in the fleeting sweetness anyway.

When you’re making that firm and persistent decision to beg for pain and consciously choosing to numb your senses so you could feel nothing else but what you may have thought you desire to feel - you’ve got it bad, baby. That absinth’s hit you hard.

(And we love it.)

Kiss me on the lips A secret just between the two of us Deeply poisoned by the jail of you I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway

Yoongi’s “Kiss me”, like his “불타오르네” (and obviously “용서해줄게“) in Fire may as well linger in my ears as my personal on-demand whisper sounds. His voice is that sexy as fuck ASMR I never knew I needed (and queue Ben Whishaw’s...)

Here we see “poisoned” harking back to intoxication, and “jail of you,” calling back to the whole verse I’d interpreted above before. What interested me here was the couplet - “Kiss me on the lips/a secret just between the two of us” - kissing as an act of sealing a deal or secret reminds me of age old love songs, of promises made between lovers before they part. Not to mention, this is that sexy, 섹시한 way of “sealing the deal” you may have heard about.

“I cannot worship anyone but you...” holds the lover up high, almost godlike, maybe on a pedestal. It’s that everest, that peak point when you’re more than head over heels in love, when you’re able to see no one but this person. “Worship” is that word signaling holy, direct, and submissive devotion - just powerful.

“...and I knew/The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway” - again the voice of submission in line with above verses, submitting yourself to temptation, same as biting into that apple despite knowing consequences. “Grail” embodies the whole MV image of the classics.

Close my eyes with your caress I can't resist it anyway I can't even escape anymore

You are too sweet, too sweet Because you are too sweet

“Close my eyes” is the same as asking to be blinded (see above). Adding “with your caress” only enhances the intensity of the speaker’s desire, of the intimate and physical nature - you know full well what that person does to you, your heart, conscience, and senses with just one simple touch or the trace of a finger on your skin - especially someone as addicted to skinship as I am. The repetition “You are too sweet...” brings us back full circle to Namjoon’s dessert verses, intoxication, indulgence, and submission.

What a delicious song. I fall in love every time I listen.

Second song in my trilogy is Love Maze - an intoxication of a different, lighter flavor yet still an an intoxication nevertheless.

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Trapped in a maze of decisions Exhausted by all the different chaos We’ve wandered around, looking for the answer Lost in the maze, in the darkness

Jimin’s first verse traverses over the trials and tribulations of every day life - naturally we’re caught in decision-making from the moment we open our eyes (ah, sigh. my major. what the hell), and that, in extreme cases, can escalate to choice paralysis). Life is a mess, to say simply. At times you can feel (and you are) lost in some sort of maze which seems impossible to escape from.

[Verse 2: Jungkook] We ran and ran endlessly But all the fake noise Can’t tear us apart It’s true baby [Refrain: Jimin, Jin] We must believe only in ourselves Can’t let go of each other’s hands We need to be together forever

And now this is just asking your partner to hold your hand throughout the darkness, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down type of way.

[Verse 3: RM] People say That I’ll end up a fool But I don’t wanna use my head I don’t wanna calculate Love ain’t a business Rather like a fitness I’ve never been in a calculating love I know it’ll be cold like winter But I still wanna try

Yup, sure. Love isn’t logical, and we feel it when we feel it. This is a more considered version of love or succumbing to temptation/infatuation, compared to Blood, Sweat, and Tears, see here:

If you push me, I’ll fall, just raise me up again Even if I pull, you don’t have to come

Upon a close look, this is the more confident, the more ‘out-there’ you - like a rocking doll, a full human ready to get back up on its own once fallen, not a blind follower or submissive slave. What I find particularly captivating is the bottom verse - “Even if I pull, you don’t have to come” - this is a show and declaration of independence at its finest. I’ll woo you, I’ll say I want you, and I’ll grab you toward me, but you “don’t have to” be with me, [if you don’t want to.] (Plays I’m Fine)

No matter what others say, don’t listen Just let’em talk, whatever they say The more they do, the more I’m sure

Honestly this reminded me of a past relationship, where figurative hand-holding was the emphasized union to help us make it through. Would have been half the fight if it was that aspect alone, though.

Baby just don’t give a damn

This is the sentence I sing to every single time I play this aloud. The sentence.

I always think, even if eternity is hard I wanna try it, let’s be forever

My ex once asked, “How long is forever?” just ripping off that sign in a mall we walked past, and yes, that’s what I do remember about us. Part of it. Since then, mentions of eternity like this has always hit me.

And forever doesn’t exist, guys. COVID does.

(Bad joke, sorry.)

The song that completes the trilogy is one I discovered only last week. My last BTS x Steve Aoki crossover: Waste It On Me.

Queue neon club lights and bad decision drinks. Kook being Kook, his voice in songs like these, House of Cards, and Savage Love slices you right through, like a young, impressionable boy asking you to give this love a try, to forget yourself in being attracted to him, and to waste the time you aware you’re willing to waste on him:

[Verse 1: Jungkook] You say love is messed up You say that it don't work But, you don't wanna try, no, no (You don't wanna try, no, no) And baby, I'm no stranger To heartbreak and the pain of Always being let go (Always being let go)

This verse, man. When your heart’s rusty and battered and beaten and broken enough, “Baby, I’m no stranger/to heartbreak and the pain of always being let go,” is that overwhelming elixir to slosh it altogether, like soaking your lone damn heart in warm bathwater, and with Jungkook’s inviting voice, you may have added your favorite flavor of Lush bathbomb.

[Pre-Chorus: Jungkook, RM & Jimin] And I know there's no making this right, this right (This right) And I know there's no changing your mind, your mind (Your mind) But we both found each other tonight, tonight (Oh yeah) So if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time

It’s that exact moment when it’s the night of your birthday, you’re all dressed up with only one place to go in a town where you knew a handful of people, and the guy at the bar had bought you a shot of mysterious substance to drink. So you’re here. So he’s here. And the drink’s here, between you two, and you’ve downed it in. And you’re here.

So why not?

‘Waste it on me’ is a sexy invitation in itself, that momentarily grasp for pleasure. Ok, yea. I’m all yours.

Tonight.

[Verse 2: RM] So we don't gotta go there Past lovers and warfare It's just you and me now (Yeah, yeah) I don't know your secrets But I'll pick up the pieces Pull you close to me now (Yeah, yeah)

Namjoon’s voice has always been sexy to me. Masculine, dominating, in control, in the same way that Yoongi’s raspy, gravelly voice grabs you and stubbornly holds you close.

Maybe this guy you’d just met in a club’s blabbering away to pierce who you may have been or who you’re presenting yourself to be just for you to be with him, and takes ahold of your waist before you could say no.

What do you say?

Yay, don't you think there must be a reason? Yeah, like we had our names Don't you think we got another season That come after spring? I wanna be your summer I wanna be your wave Treat me like a comma I'll take you to a new phrase Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away If I'm not your taste, babe, waste Waste it on me

I’m speechless over the “Treat me like a comma, I’ll take you to a new phrase,” wordplay. Most of all, it illustrated my past relationship in that all too on-the-nose way, for me and him both. English is sexy, man, please don’t ever say it isn’t.

“Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away/If I’m not your taste, babe.” I’m partial to babe as much as baby, let’s be real. Haha. The whole “come just eat me” paints that picture of the speaker being “consumed,” just devoured whole (echoing the earlier image of being “washed over” from “I wanna be your wave”) by the to-be-lover, without a care, a giving-himself-away submission reminiscent of Blood, Sweat, and Tears’ intoxication and blind bondage. The speaker here doesn’t even care if he’s not tailored to the ‘lover’s’ desire, ready to be discarded, treating himself here as disposable, even worse than Love Maze’s partnered hopefulness and teamwork or Blood, Sweat and Tears’ irresistible, spellbound attraction.

Aaand there you have it, my ramblings on Bangtan (as of now). There’s just so, so much - I’ve recently received my HYYH Pt.1 (RIMBAUD! SEXY CONVERSE!!! BOYZ with FUN!) and YNWA albums, not to mention my rap line songs, vocal line, In the Soop, Performance details, Run BTS (source of joy and laughter, more than any man has ever affected me), Premiums, and the whole “Love Yourself” concept + B.E. Itself.

I’ll be sure to pop back in very, very soon!

#BTS

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