#and theyre moving into a tiny little house in like a senior community i think. where every house blandly looks the same
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well my grandparents' house is for sale now:(
#they are moving to a smaller house bc they are 78+81 and my grandma is not at her healthiest#and theyve been working towards this for 3 years which i could have spent coming to terms with it. but i havent#ive always really loved their house. it was built in like the 1910s or 20s and it's huge and has woods in the backyard and a hill you can#hike up right across the street. it has a sunroom and an attic and a fancy staircase and a fireplace#it is all dark wood shingles on the outside and it is really as cute as a big house can get. it's even colder than my house (a real talent)#and it has fancy grates over all the heater vents‚ which are set into the floor instead of on the walls. and the front door is red.#for years and years i wanted them to will it to me when they died:/#and theyre moving into a tiny little house in like a senior community i think. where every house blandly looks the same#it makes me really really sad even though i KNOWW that it's too much work for them to take care of it at their ages#and it's not like i live anywhere nearby (8 hours away) so i can't offer to help#but i was kinda really hoping that even though they were talking about it it wouldnt actually happen#so this july might be the last time i ever go in it#talkin
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Encyclopaedia Westerosa: the biggest Game of Thrones mysteries, solved
How big is Westeros? What is wildfire? And how rich are the Lannisters? Ten things you didnt know about the biggest show in the world
Warning: this piece contains spoilers for seasons 1-5 of Game of Thrones .
When George RR Martins stabby saga was adapted for TV in 2011, perhaps the biggest topic surrounding it was: why would any self-respecting adult watch a fantasy series about dragons, zombies and sorcery? Well, six seasons in, the folly of that way of thinking has been exposed like a member of the Nights Watch trapped north of the Wall. Game of Thrones is now a global preoccupation.
Much of that success is down to the detailed world created by Martin and brought to vivid and sometimes visceral life on the demonstrate. From the frozen north to the intrigue-filled chambers of Kings Landing, Westeros is a place steeped in mythos and mystery, familiar yet so alien. Even now, theres still so much we dont know about the place, so many questions that need answering. But while youve already read 713 blogs about whether or not Jon Snow has carked it, there are deeper mysteries about Game of Thrones that have never been properly addressed. Ahead of the proves season six premiere, we get to grips with Westeross biggest hows, whys and whats. Answers are coming …
Why is a White Walker able to walk ?
All white on the night. Photograph: Allstar
The blue-eyed ghouls in dire need of a dermatologist definitely have the appearance of being dead all exposed skeletons and rotted bits but are they? And, if so, how is it that they can move around and stab things in the face? It is possible to stimulate nerve and muscle electrically and cause it to contract even when isolated from the body, says Dr Matthew James Mason, university physiologist at Cambridge. If the brain dies that doesnt mean that all the other tissue of the body immediately dies, too. But, despite their appearance, White Walker arent mindless zombies, so brain death cant have resulted. My guess is that they arent dead at all, says Mason. If they look like they are decay, perhaps their immune system is compromised. Are they just frost, scurvy-ridden wretches in need of a hug? They probably require medical help and sympathy, argues Mason. Poor sods. The next time you assure one, then, perhaps chuck it an orange and a coat and dont be so quick to judge, yeah? LH
How rich are the Lannisters ?
Warriors Dance: Tywin Lannister. Photograph: HBO
They fund wars, boast one hell of a property portfolio and own actual gold mine. If a Lannister always pays their indebtedness, it can be safely assumed theyve got a few quid in the kitty. Dr Charles Insley, senior lecturer in medieval history at the University of Manchester, guesses drawing a parallel with a real-life example may be the key to finding out how many. Richard Neville[ 1428 -1 471] was the richest peer in England on his death, says Insley. Nevilles sister Cicely was also married to Richard, Duke of York, and it was the collective wealth and therefore capability to buy subsistence that constructed the Neville/ York confederation so dangerous. The Nevilles are likely to be worth more than the crown. All sounds very Lannisterian, right? But come on how rich would the Nevilles/ Lannisters be in todays fund? Billions?$ 2bn doesnt seem too little, I suppose. So, the most influential family in Westeros is only half as wealthy as Donald Trump? Thats not fretting at all. LH
Is it really possible for winter to last a generation ?
Snow help at all. Photograph: Helen Sloan/ HBO
House Starks ominous catchphrase winter is going is partly a callback to an extended cold snap 8,000 years ago when White Walker had the run of Westeros. How could one winter last 100 years? Scientific theories include the planet wobbling on its axis or having an eccentric orbit; writer George RR Martin himself says its only down to sorcery. In our world, there is a( comparatively) recent precedent a 70 -year Little Ice Age spanning the 17 th and 18 th centuries that refrigerated western Europe. It went on for several decades, crops failed, the Thames froze over, explains Professor Jim Wild, space physicist at Lancaster University. Research presents it also coincided with a period of unusually low sunspot activity. Less solar energy can have a major consequence on climate patterns. If winter is coming again the poor serf of the north should start saving up for a package vacation to Dorne. If I saw myself in that situation, Id start heading south, says Wild. It should be a bit warmer nearer the equator. GV
What is it with all the castrating ?
Conleth Hill as Varys and Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister. Photograph: HBO
Daenerys Targaryens army of Unsullied soldiers are upper-class warriors who were castrated in infancy that are intended to attain them more focused, loyal and fearless. But is this really what happens when your tackle is chopped off? Dr Shaun Tougher, reader in ancient history at Cardiff University, is sceptical. We do assure the idea that eunuchs are chaste and loyal, but we also assure the inverse: that theyre tormented and frustrated. Eunuch soldiers arent at all common in history, but the idea of eunuch generals is quite prevalent theres a very famous Byzantine eunuch general called Narses in the 6th century AD. Because of their status as luxury objects, many eunuchs who originated in the slave trade ended up serving at court, like wily manipulator Varys. Varys is in some ways the archetypal court eunuch. Although I was quite surprised when it was revealed that his castration was done by a sorcerer. Seems like the notion of using a mans lunchbox for sorcery purposes is a pure cock-and-balls narrative. SR
Could person genuinely become a dragons mother ?
Dragons den. Photograph: HBO
From the ashes of a Dothraki funeral pyre, Daenerys Targaryen emerged with three ferociously loyal newborn dragons hanging off her. In the real world, newborn lizards are genetically hardwired to be much more independent. Weve hatched dragon eggs here, explains Matt Cook, lead keeper at Chester Zoo, currently home to six Komodo dragons. But if you were to try and approach them, they would attack you rather than snuggle your hair. Theyre intelligent but they have to be selfish because its genuinely the only way to survive. They may never truly love you but it is possible to develop your dragon. Daenerys hollers Dracarys! when she wants some barbecuing done but Cook favor a system that involves a traffic cone, a audio clicker and a tiny meaty reward to wrangle his charges. They tolerate humans, genuinely, he says. Once they get to a certain size, they know theyre the upper part of the food chain so they can be quite arrogant; they think theyre untouchable. But they can also be very chilled. Khaleesi does it. GV
How long would it take to build the Wall ?
High and fighty: The Wall. Photograph: HBO
482 kilometres long. 213 metres high. 91 metres thick. In reality, a wall of this size constructed entirely of ice would collapse under its own weight. But this is Westeros, a world where dragons roam and Little Fingers accent is never questioned, so lets crunch some numbers. Its estimated that when building the Great Pyramid, a workforce of, on average, 14,567 people running 10 -hour days laid around 180 blocks per hour. Now, if the ice bricks making up The Wall are a metre squared, it would contain in the region of 9,342, 606,000( thats 213 x 91 x 482,000, maths fans ). At a sensible-sounding 180 blocks laid per minute, it would take the same workforce 51,903, 367 hours to construct The Wall. Thats 5,921 years. So, we have to assume Brandon the Builder who legend has it enlisted the help of giants had a much larger workforce than this. Even with 100 times the pyramids workforce, 14,567, 000 employees, it would take over 59 years to build. All sounds like a little bit of a faff, genuinely. LH
Why is the Seven Kingdoms in debt ?
A loan in the dark: Jamie and Cersei Lannister. Photograph: HBO
A costly five-way civil war has forced the Seven Kingdoms to go cap in hand to the Iron Bank Of Braavos. Dr James Davis, senior lecturer in medieval history at Queens University Belfast, watches a parallel with Edward III, who borrowed heavily from Italian banks. But he was a step ahead of the Lannister dynasty. Edward III was quite canny: at the same as fighting a war he was developing parliament to extract more taxation without too much unrest. At the heart of every medieval king, whatever their aspirations, it was always about where you could get the money. Davis suggests that the Seven Kingdoms needs to abandon its feudalist structures and fast. There isnt much sign of development of trade and industry. It absence stable laws that would allow entrepreneurism to emerge. Otherwise a peasants revolt is a possibility only around the corner: In a real society, thered be more riots. SR
Whats my best opportunity of beating The Mountain in a duel ?
Fight the power: Hafthr Jlus Bjrnsson, left, as Gregor The Mountain Clegane. Photograph: Alamy
Even in Westeros, a land not exactly lacking in murderous mercenaries, Gregor The Mountain Clegane is a lethal legend. So how would a layman go about tackling him in a trial by combat? Martin Oz Austwick is the founder of the English Martial Arts Academy, offering class in historical European swordsmanship. His strategy? Like the Red Viper, choose a long weapon to try to match the range of the Mountains terrifying greatsword: A spear would be good, although Id personally favor a quarterstaff. Also, forgo armour to allow yourself greater mobility and focus on injuring Cleganes massive hands: if he cant wield his weapon, he cant cleave you in twain with it. One debate in our community is whether targeting hands is an acceptable technique, says Austwick. It might seem dishonourable but against the Mountain, doing the British thing and being polite would be your undoing. So my advice would be to fight as dirty as you can. GV
How big is Westeros ?
In continents: one of Game of Thrones filming locations. Photograph: Alamy
George RR Martin has stated that Westeros is roughly the size of South America, which would make sense for a continent with climates that range from the frozen wastes north of the Wall to the balmy water gardens of Dorne in the south. Utilizing measurements given in the series, the width of Westeros is calculated to be around 3,000 miles the distance from the tip of Norway to the Red Sea and with a population of 20 -4 0 million. The topography stimulates sense for the most part, reckons Simon Willcocks of Ordnance Surveys consultancy and technical services squad. All kinds of stuff from deserts to river deltas, marshy bog, mountain passes, but nothing outlandish. But if Westeros is so big, how come the main characters manage to keep bumping into each other? Its a very long and narrow continent with few roads and river intersects, reasons Willcocks. As for Essos, a continent that Varys seems to traverse at will but that has taken Daenerys at the least five series to cross well, thats for another day. SR
What is wildfire ?
Burning down the House: Peter Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister.
Joffreys victory at the Battle of Blackwater Bay during which the king-youd-love-to-slaps forces defended Kings Landing from Stannis Baratheon owed largely to Tyrion Lannisters procurement of an explosive known as wildfire. The resultant blue-green flames tore through Stanniss fleet like a longsword through the back of Ned Starks neck. But what the blaze is it? Dr Richard Henchman, senior lecturer in theoretical chemistry at the University of Manchester, draws comparisons to the historical episode of Archimedess fire to destroy Roman ships, which utilized mirrors to focus the sunlight rays into deadly beams. It is also similar to Greek flame, a Byzantine weapon able to burn on water, reminiscent of a crude kind of napalm. From a compositional standpoint, though, wildfires colouring suggest a copper compound. Perhaps what we have is a copper oxide/ magnesium thermite? It looks like sorcery to me, says Henchman. Oh. Never mind then. LH
Game of Thrones Season 6 starts 2am, Sunday 24 April and repeats 9pm, Monday 25 April on Sky Atlantic
This article was amended on the 15 th April to country the workforce necessary to build the wall in 59 years is 100 times that used to build The Great Pyramid , not 10
Read more: www.theguardian.com
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