#and theyre gonna break up after this tag match i know it bc i know its coming

[likehephaestionwhodied]

A short story about two dudes with attitudes

[leaughrilke]

How does everyone react(including Stella) to Stella being gay

well kiddos lets take a jaunt down lesbian lane (these two go hand in hand so i’m including them together!)

also here’s a warning at the top (its also tagged and if you blacklisted the slur, this post should be blocked) i use the d slur once in here, towards the bottom

so obviously its not that she grows up closeted necessarily like its more??  she just never acknowledges that part of herself??  and she doesnt have to for a long time, bc she’s so used to just picking up one what other people are feeling and like??  idk how to phrase this.  boys are louder?  like girls, stella’s noticed, like sort of monitor their thoughts, even in their own head, but boys dont and so its boys’ feelings for her that she always picks up on fastest, reflects back on the basis of those feelings being so strong.  so it takes her a while to even notice her own feelings???  notice the funny feeling in her stomach whenever the cute girl in her bio class smiles at her

and its not that her moms dont talk to her about attraction, bc they do, they talk to her about crushes and relationships and the whole shebang but stella never indicates that she’s having trouble with any of that and they just figure maybe she’s not interested in people romantically and then when she comes home saying she has a date with a boy, its not as if they’re about to interrogate her??  like they notice that her relationships rarely last longer than a couple months or so, if they even get to that stage??  but she’s in high school, you know??  relationships dont always last long at that age

and they kind of figure that she knows its okay??  if she’s gay.  like.  lena’s a giant lesbian.  kara’s bi as hell.  finn and maia both had really quiet coming outs???  quite frankly they didnt even have to come out, like kara and lena have always used gender neutral language when it comes to dating for the kiddos until they point them in the right direction, like one day finn mentions he has a date with the running back from the football team and no one bats an eye, kara just asks where they’re planning on going.  maia brings home a girlfriend one thanksgiving.  kara and lena just sort of figure that stella knows its fine??  and she does.  she does.  its just easier to feel what other people are feeling.  easier to not feel what she’s feeling

so stella dates boys in high school sometimes, avoids romantic and sexual situations most of the times bc there’s also a lot of consent issues tied up with it all for her, like she’s always terrified that maybe the other person is only feeling what she’s feeling??  so they can’t rlly consent, or she’s terrified its the other way around, that she’s not rlly in control of her own feelings and wants and desires, that she’ll end up doing something she doesnt really want to do.  she gets harassed for that a lot, how she’ll go out with a guy for a hot minute and then break up with him out of nowhere, just when he thinks they’re going to sleep together; maia beats up like.  several assholes in high school for her (that stella only rlly finds out abt later)

and then the summer after high school??  stella works as a camp counselor and one of the other counselors is like.  Attractive.  rlly butterflies in ur stomach, heart in ur throat, burning up when she looks at you attractive and stella has no fucking idea what to do with these feelings like shit does this girl have a crush on her??  how is she gonna break it to her that she’s straight

surprise!  stella’s not straight.  in the slightest.  she finds out when lo and behold, its six weeks into her internship and that’s usually around the time whatever feelings have a hold of her dwindle, disappear and she’s??  still?????  feeling them????????

and stella’s like.  hm.  i should test this tiny lil baby theory i have and she asks this one other counselor if they know what Hot Counselor Girl’s deal is and they’re like??  she’s straight as an arrow babes, you’re barking up the wrong tree and stella’s like OH SHIT she’s not the source of these feelings then.  that means they’re all mine.  that means???  fuck what does that mean

she comes back for the last couple month before college starts and she’s so sad and hesitant and distant bc like??  there’s this whole part of her that she’s been ignoring, been repressing bc she didn’t want to address it.  bc she was scared of what owning her feelings would mean.  and her moms pick up on it, obviously bc they’re literally the Best, but stella wont come out (heh) with it so they have to draw their own conclusions and they kind of just figure she’s worried about starting college???  so they focus on that

so she goes to college, still working this out and then one night it feels too big, too much, and she just quietly calls for kara (who, like, is always listening for her kiddos.  always always always) and she’s going to ncu so its not a long flight, she kind of just blinks and then her mom is slipping in through her open window and stella takes one look at her and just bursts into tears and kara’s like honey!!!  whats going on, what hurts, do i need to kill someone and stella’s just like i need to go home and so kara flies them home and lena’s like abt to fall asleep on the couch, waiting up for kara, but wakes right the fuck up when suddenly she has a lapful of crying stella

and stella’s still crying when she asks when she and kara knew they liked girls and there’s this moment where kara and lena look at each other and kind of go oh, like everything makes a little more sense within this context??  so they tell her.  lena tells her about her friend from childhood, skirts around the bad parts.  kara talks about how it wasn’t a thing on krypton, it wasn’t until earth that she realized it was

and like they know where this is going??  its hard not to guess, what with the way stella’s sobbing, trying to keep quiet so she can hear what theyre saying, trying to match up her own timeline to that, trying to put all the pieces of her life that she’s collected together through this new, clearer lens.  and finally lena’s like stella, love.  do you like girls?  and she nods, still crying, but its not bad, its just a lot??  she’s like.  finally admitting it to herself.  finally owning it and that’s like a Big Thing

she stays the night and the weekend bc her moms are like hey, you shouldnt be alone right now, just spend the weekend here okay?  and stella’s like OKAY bc a) she rlly shouldnt be alone (when she gets overwhelmed, it’s rlly hard for her to be rational??) and b) she misses her moms ok

by sunday she can say it.  and she does.  she’s like idk how to look like a lesbian and lena gives her this look like are you actually serious or but then realizes stella’s absolutely joking, so she rolls her eyes, says they’ll go shopping for flannels next weekend 

so stella came out to her moms in like the Most Dramatic way rlly and its kind of weird bc its not like coming out is even rlly a thing in her family, not with her gay as hell and bi as hell moms, her Lesbian Wine Aunts, the fact that like there’s like one straight person in the entire family (its one of alex and maggie’s kids and she jokes abt it all the time, is always kind of like i was waiting for my gay card to come in the mail but alas)???  like she doesnt have to rlly Come Out if she doesnt want to, she could just like bring home girlfriends and no one would blink but stella’s kind of worried she’ll never fall in love and be able to pursue it so its important that she make the statement separately??  have it be independent from her relationship status

she just tells finn the next time theyre face timing and he’s technically in the middle of studying for an exam but he drops everything to fly home and wrap her up into this big bearhug and stella’s just grinning bc it feels good to say???  its like.  liberating and finn’s so happy for her, happy that she seems more fully herself, seems happier and smiles wider and he’s so proud of her???  he rlly is

and stella waits until maia’s home to tell her, feels like its something she should tell her in person and she figures that’s probably the right choice from the weird, soft look maia gives her, the rlly careful hug she pulls her into and the sneaky way she looks around before she says if you want, i can get you into the only decent lesbian club in national city and stella’s like um???  yes pls?????  which is how the newest generation of danvers girls winds up singing karaoke at a lesbian club in the heart of the city at two am on a tuesday

she tells the rest of the family in one long sentence where she’s telling them about how college is going when its thanksgiving, like she literally says yeah, my stats class isnt terrible, i’m a lesbian, and like i think i want to take psychology next semester??  and everyone kind of surreptitiously looks at each like i heard that right, right?  and then they all just move the fuck on, but for christmas, alex gives her a flannel and a beanie with a grin

so her family obviously reacts rlly well right???  well college is a different ball game

like most ppl give zero shits and her friends are all rlly supportive but there are these girls on her floor that complain to their ra and are like ummmmm we dont feel comfortable with a lesbian on the floor, like we shower here???  and their ra is rlly good, is basically like well go shower elsewhere if youre that concerned, or better yet, i can put in for a room transfer for you and tells stella to let her know if anyone from the floor ever fucks with her

no one else from the floor does (bc of her ra and also bc maia catches wind of what happened later and like.  maybe paid a visit to these girls.  and maybe explained that what happened to that boy from stella’s seminar??  for sure will happen to them if they so much as breathe in her baby sister’s direction)

and then theres that fateful incident in her seminar, like its before class starts and stella’s chilling on her phone, living her life and this one guy comes up to her and is like heavily flirting with her and she’s just about to deflect gracefully when this other guy from the other side of the room scoffs bro, don’t even bother, she’s a dyke and like the room goes fucking silent like everyone’s just like holy shit we knew he was a dudebro but we didnt know he was a DudeBro and stella just fucking stares at him like.  what the actual fuck.  she just legit doesnt know how to process it or what to do and the dude is like carrying on like nothings changed and then class starts and its not until that night that she like??  has a chance to unpack it/??  and she just sobs, like it’s awful

maia is comes to town the next day bc she’s interviewing for grad school at ncu and she and stella are supposed to grab brunch and stella’s calling to cancel just as maia’s coming up the stairs to her room and she opens the door and is like oh, right, okay i’m good, lets go and through all of brunch she’s like???  rlly withdrawn in a way that she never is unless something’s wrong and so maia pushes and prods and waits until finally stella quits poking at her pancakes and says this one dude just said something kind of shitty to me yesterday, its no big deal but like she’s rlly upset abt it right??  so it comes through to maia even as stella tries not to and maia sees the word, the slur in big ugly letters in her mind and then stellas starting to cry a little bit, begging dont tell moms, dont tell anyone, please maia, it’s fine and maia’s like ????  fuck that, he hurt you

but stella’s fully crying now, so maia doesnt say that, just hurries to box up their food and pay and then shuffle stella out of the restaurant 

she tracks down one of stella’s friends the next day though, after her interview with the grad school admissions counselor is over and they take one look at her, ask you’re stella’s badass older sister?  

yeah.  wait does she really call me badass

and stella’s friend gives it up with no hesitation like fuck that guy right

maia beats the shit out of him tbh.  like.  obviously not that bad, and she made sure to take her supplement so that she’s not hitting with superstrength or anything, but stella is her baby sister and maia wont admit to this for a while but she would absolutely kill for stella, in a heartbeat, no questions asked.  like??  she loves her so so much.  and this guy made her cry, made her hurt, a hurt maia only got a taste of and maia remembers those awful weeks after she ended things with her Shitty Ex, when stella refused to leave her side, took on so much of her pain and suffering so that maia could sleep at night.  so yeah.  maia beats the shit out of him