#and they're important but WOW are these chapters taking a long time to get right
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dwarrowdams · 1 year ago
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WIP Whenever
I was tagged by @iheartgarrus, @dispatchwithlove, and @diaphanouso!
I've been deep in the trenches of Measurements lately, so here's a sweet little moment from a forthcoming chapter.
[Liv had] always enjoyed giving massages, but doing so for a turian lover was a new experience: one that she was enjoying thoroughly.  She liked learning the feel of his plates and his hide, figuring out which kind of touch felt best on each.  From the satisfied sounds Garrus made whenever she massaged the tension out of a sore spot, he was enjoying this as well.  Liv took her time as she moved down his legs to his feet, pushing away her urge to find out if turians were ticklish.  Instead, she focused on massaging the oil into his ankles and feet, surprised by how similar the muscles and tendons there were to human anatomy.  Once she’d finished, she settled beside him, twisting to get some of the kinks out of her own back. “There,” she said, reaching up to stroke his fringe.  “Did that help?” She rested a hand on his upper back and felt the steadiness of his breath, the way he’d been quiet and relaxed since she’d reached his thighs, and realized that he’d fallen asleep.  She gazed down at him for a moment, admiring the curve of his waist and the strength of his legs, before grabbing a blanket from the closet and draping it over him, careful not to wake him. He barely stirred at the contact, but Liv waited to get into bed.  She didn’t want to move too much and wake him. He was making that purring noise again, and Liv tried to forget everything she’d read about what it might mean about his feelings for her.  For all she knew, it could have happened simply because she was someone he could relax with and had little to do with whether or not he was interested in her romantically. She reached out to stroke his fringe, gazing fondly down at him.  “I care about you too, sweetheart,” she murmured.  “Probably a lot more than I should.”
Tagging @aeriamamaduck, @angry-jager, and anyone else who'd like to participate!
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1moreff-creator · 1 month ago
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DRDT CH2 PT2: Full Analysis
While CH2 Part 2 was releasing, I chose to make liveblog-reaction posts to the episodes to record my immediate thoughts for posterity, but that meant that actual, coherent analysis was pushed to the side in favor of me freaking out over… everything going on. But goddamn; even accounting for recency bias, this might just be my favorite trial of any DR style killing game I’ve ever seen (though admittedly I'm working with a small sample size). So I felt it merited a bit more… cohesive analysis. That’s what this post is!
WARNING: This post is around 28k words long. Do not click "read more" unless you're ready for lag, and make sure to take breaks while reading if needed.
Spoilers for DRDT CH2. CW: Murder, suicide, hanging, execution, gun violence, self-harm, blood, stabbing (fork).
(Btw you can find my immediate reactions in my post masterlist. Not linking each individually here because I hit Tumblr's 100 link limit. I know, I know)
How do I even structure this? I guess I’ll start with the actual case itself, then go character by character because WOW.
Also, I hope you forgive that I can't put images for every referenced piece of dialogue (Tumblr 30 image limit when I catch you...), so I'll save them for when they're necessary and instead add links to the referenced quote in the episode.
The Case
Although I’ve made many posts talking about this damn thing, I don’t think I’ve ever expressed just how cool the actual mystery is. The evidence is all there from the beginning bar the note and alibis, introduced in a way that doesn’t make the method obvious, but that still allowed the audience to figure out the main aspects without much issue. Everything follows logically, and while there’s a few things that ended up being less important than some expected (that glove will haunt the fandom forever I fear), everything got explained in what I consider to be a pretty satisfactory way. It wasn’t obscenely complex or crazy, but I consider the method to be just right for a chapter 2 case.
Oh and the Nico case was cool too, even if half the shit in that crime scene will haunt me forever. Why were there two weights off to the side-? not important.
If there’s one critique I can give the actual discussion of the case (and this is legitimately the only real critique I have of this entire set of episodes), I’d argue that the way the method is presented is… weird. Like, I get why, DRDT is clearly more focused on character conflict than the murder mystery aspect, but there were still a lot of moments where it felt like Teruko’s thought process wasn’t explored properly, to the point where it sometimes felt like Teruko just… magically got the answers whispered to her by the ghost of Kirigiri.
As an example, take the ball of clothes over the rafters. Ace mentions the issue of getting the rope up there, and Teruko immediately jumps to the right conclusion of the seemingly completely unrelated ball of clothes.
To illustrate why this feels weird, let me tell you what my thought process was when I came up with the theory (because again, the evidence was laid out well enough that I did manage to call this, even if I got a fair bit of other stuff wrong). Obviously it's not the only admissible thought process, but it's a good example to see how I feel the presentation of evidence should have been handled.
We know Arei was hung from high up (Veronika’s account) -> We can confirm something happened on the rafters because the lights are broken -> Brainstorming how that could have happened (screening room connection? Secret ladder?) -> Perhaps something was thrown up there with the rope attached -> Ball of clothes.
In the series, however, we get:
Arei was probably hung from high (Veronika’s account) -> Discussion continues, literally the entirety of Nico's situation gets explained -> Ace brings up the issue for the first time like three years later-> Teruko immediately points to the ball of clothes -> The lights are only mentioned after.
You get what I'm saying? The progression doesn't feel as natural, because we immediately jump to the conclusion without discussing the evidence that leads to it. This also happens with things like the pulley method, where Teruko explains everything before bringing up the tape on the spinny thing, which is the only thing implicating said spinny thing in the method. And I feel like the reason quite a few people felt there should be more to the case is because the evidence wasn't presented properly.
That said, this is an extremely minor point. Again, DRDT is more focused on character drama than murder mystery, so I don’t particularly mind if I can nitpick a few things in the writing surrounding the mystery solving.
And oh boy, was there character drama this trial! Thank the gods I’m only covering Part 2, I think I’d die if I tried to talk about the entire trial as a whole.
Character Analysis
I’ll go in order, starting with the characters I feel had the least prominence, and making my way to the ones who really stole the spotlight this part.
Mai Akasaki
No content lol. Though this is probably a good time to mention that, in this post, I'll mostly ignore theorizing related stuff and focus more on straight up character analysis, even if the two sometimes intersect. Game Theory-like speculation will mostly be saved for dedicated posts :p
Xander Matthews
He got mentioned, but he’ll come up in David’s section so. Skipping him. 
Min Jeung
Well, there were a few references. Such as:
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Min: I'll fix your mistake! - Teruko: But I'll fix my mistake.
Something something, David-Xander vs Teruko-Min parallels, etc. And also:
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I like the visual symbolism that the images are effectively flipped (Teruko on the left-Teruko on the right and hugger on the right-hugger on the left, Teruko facing the camera-Teruko facing away), because the situations are inverted. In Min’s, the culprit hugs Teruko after she dooms them to their fate, and in Eden’s, a non-culprit hugs Teruko as she starts defending them. I did notice on first watch, but didn’t say anything because at the time it was still possible Eden was the culprit. Alas, the symbolism is consistent!
There's only one last thing to mention about Min. One tiny, itsy bitsy detail that probably has no lore relevance whatsoever.
MonoTV [2-16]: Now loading the default XF-Ture Tech personality drivers.
Min [BE1]: But one day, we were visited by the founder of that big company, XF-Ture Tech. He told my parents that he would sponsor me and pay for all of our expenses.
Oh yeah, MonoTV was created by the same company that sponsored Min as the Ultimate Student! Hey, what the fuck?
We'll get into it more later in the (I cannot believe I'm about to say this) MonoTV section (or rather the post linked to in said section), but MonoTV seems to have been created specifically for the killing game. This means there's a very real chance XF-Ture Tech is behind all this. That paints the sponsorship of Min as a strikingly shady thing (well, more than it already was), to the point there's a very real chance Min is straight up connected to the origins of the killing game, if not outright the mastermind. We'll have to see how this plays out later, since right now, we're still lacking a lot of critical context.
But hey! We might get more Min content in the future! I, for one, am very, very excited.
Charles Cuevas
Not too much character insight on this one, but he got a couple of cool moments. As always, funny, bounces well off Whit, very helpful in the trial, weirdly knowledgeable about jockeying (or maybe he just, like, thought about it, it’s not like most of what he says aren’t conclusions anyone could arrive at by simply knowing what horse racing is), and-
Charles [2-15]: I'm the only person reasonable enough to make that sort of judgement call. Everyone else who does so is being biased to the point of idiocy.
-it’s nice to see his pridefulness didn’t just go away after CH1! He’s neat :)
J Rosales/Moreno
Half of her dialogue this part is just her talking about how murder is bad. It’s fine, it’s just odd.
I guess if you want someone to point out murder’s bad, J’s one of the only real options, isn’t she? You need a confrontational character (so no Eden or Rose or Whit), who wouldn’t be a hypocrite (this eliminates Nico, Ace and Levi, arguably Hu since she defends Nico), who is mentally stable enough for their opinion to be held in high regard (this eliminates Arturo, David and Veronika, alongside half the cast), who is willing to derail the trial to talk morality (eliminating Charles and arguably Teruko), and who isn’t dead or missing (like Xander, Arei, Mai or Min).
Wait that’s the whole cast. Holy shit she actually is the only one that makes sense to be murder bashing how is this even possible. 
…Regardless, you could still argue that you don’t need someone constantly pointing out murder’s bad, meaning there could very much be a deeper reason J is being so vocal about it. Apart from possibly being setup for her to be primary support moving forward, I personally think all this points to her just having a very strong set of beliefs regarding most things, which we could already kinda infer anyways. 
Or maybe Mariabella killed a guy. Yeah, sure. Why not?
Veronika Grebenshchikoba
There were certainly a couple interesting Vero moments here, which is always fun. It was finally confirmed her secret was, as most theorized, the “took on your talent to distract yourself from the need to hurt yourself for fun” one. I mean, I feel like everyone called that one from the moment the curtain fell away from the screen with the motive secrets, but you get the idea. 
We also learnt she had a pact with Hu regarding their secrets, which I would love to learn the details of, and definitely makes me interested in where these Recap Foils are going, as well as-
Veronika [2-13]: After all, my own so-called secret isn't even the worst thing I've done. Isn't that so utterly disappointing of this motive?
… whatever the hell that means. Why’s she gotta be so ominous? (I love this about her).
The last notable scenes to point out are all the scenes where she's... Veronika, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Her psychoanalysis of Levi will probably wait for when I talk about him, and her help during the time Teruko was figuring out the murder method is appreciated, but specifically about her:
Veronika [2-15]: Swallow your pride and say that you're too weak, too stupid, and too incompetent to perform this murder. Accept the fact that no one thinks highly of you. Or defend your dignity at the risk of admitting that you're perfectly capable of committing this murder and continue to be our number one suspect.
I just think the voice acting in this line in particular is very auditorily pleasant so I wanted to point it out :D
But Episode 15 actually has a much more insidious Vero moment, which I felt was way more noteworthy. After Ace admits to the crime, he goes on his whole speech, which includes directly calling out Veronika's words as part of the reasoning why he killed, there comes a point when Ace calls himself a "piece of shit", and no one denies it. When that happens, Veronika smiles.
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Veronika: Oh my. How tragic.
She is such an awful person, just such a piece of garbage. I adore her.
Anyways, my appreciation of actually horrible women aside, we need to discuss the biggest question she leaves us. And that is "hey, why is her reaction to Ace's execution and Levi's almost death so different from her reaction to Min's death?"
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Veronika [about Min, 1-12]: Min died in such a cruel manner...
Veronika [about Levi, 2-16]: If Levi dies because of this... Kehehe... I'm sure I'll miss him, but... This is quite a way to go. I can't say I wasn't entertained.
Veronika [about Ace, 2-16]: Aha... Ahaha... How incredible...
So, after considering it for a little bit, I think we're lacking a little bit too much critical information on Veronika to confidently state why the hell her reaction is so different, but I can come up with a few different possible answers. I'll list them in ascending order of likeliness in my opinion, and we'll see just how wrong I am once we get more insight on her!
+Veronika cares more about Levi than Ace, and more about Min than Levi. This is because she just said Ace's execution was "incredible," while she mentions she'll miss Levi, and obviously looks genuinely distressed over Min. I see no actual reason to believe this, though, because I... don't think Vero and Min ever even interacted beyond the trial? So unless we're pulling some very strange Veromin agenda out of nowhere (or Veronika is Mai Akasaki), this doesn't work imo.
+Veronika was acting in T1, but doesn't care by the start of T2. Possible, and it's true that Vero was more self-conscious about freaking people out in CH1, but I'm not sure if there's enough evidence to truly say she was only pretending to be distressed by Min's death.
+Veronika's reactions are based on the executions (and execution attempt) themselves, not anything else. This is consistent with her specifically reacting to the way Min died ("Min died in such a cruel manner") rather than the death itself. She specifically says she'd be entertained by Levi's death, and is clearly entertained by Ace's. So, I guess she just finds Min's execution particularly cruel/boring? Does she... have wolf related trauma? Test related trauma? I don't know, but I think this fits decently well, so.
+Veronika's slowly getting worse. A logical conclusion from the fact that she reacted one way in T1, and another literally four days later. Certainly possible given her analysis of people shattering in the killing game, so for now this is the interpretation I'm going with.
Whit Young
.... Sigh. You're not even that important to this part, how are you still gonna require so many words of analysis?
Alright, let's start with the pretty infamous scene where he talks about drop hanging. I do want to make one thing clear; just because Whit talks for a pretty long time about drop hanging, it doesn’t mean he actually says anything particularly groundbreaking. Like, everything he says is very logically sound, which means they’re conclusions anyone could have drawn.
Like me. Because even though I don’t think I wrote them down explicitly, I did more or less arrive at the same conclusions as he did, and I don’t have any experience with drop hanging. I’m clarifying this because I’m on enough lists as it is just by firefoxing shit like “can turpentine knock you out” and “how long do people pass out after being strangled” I do not need any more allegations on my person! 
That said, I am also not a fictional character who exists within a story which follows narrative conventions (as far as you know, anyways). Whit is. And it’d be silly to instantly dismiss that the dev specifically chose Whit, a character who is otherwise not the most helpful in trials, to be the one to deliver this explanation, and without any interruptions no less. Even Teruko and Charles usually have one character or another finishing their explanations, like Levi when Teruko explained the slingshot or… Levi when Charles talked about jockeying. Huh, Levi kinda goated?
Thus, because the dev specifically chose Whit to give this explanation with no interruptions, we can infer that he may have a special connection to drop hanging. Given what we know, I find it likeliest that his mother committed suicide by hanging. At present, I don’t find much evidence that he would have attempted himself, though…
You know how Whit dyes his hair to look like his mom’s? And how Color Theory in LGI gives him (among other stuff) “degraded copy”, likely in reference to this? If his mother killed herself via hanging, do you think he would try to replicate that, too?
Food for thought. Again, not much reason to believe it yet. 
Other than that, there are... the allegations. The part started strong with MonoTV stating it let slide a rule violation because it was funny (especially weird given what we learn in 2-16, but Whit's not the only rulebreaker in the cast so we're chilling). And then, 2-16 happened.
Whit [seven seconds before Teruko's execution, 2-16]: Charles, stop talking and cover your eyes! [...] Whit [post Levi shooting]: Ah, crap. The smell of blood is really strong. Even though I told [Charles] not to look, he still...
And, of course.
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Whit: ...
Of course.
Alright, so let me start by the elephant in the room. The hand behind the back. The moment the cast learns the elevator doors won't open, we see Whit with his left hand behind his back. Many have assumed this means, understandably in my opinion, that he may be holding a remote control of some kind to close the elevator. In other words, Whit's the mastermind. But, while I consider him one of if not the best mastermind guess in the market, I don't think this is good evidence of it.
You see, there's no reason to believe such a remote would be required. By all accounts, it should be MonoTV's AI who is keeping the elevator closed with no need for outside interference, regardless of who the MM is. There is simply no reason to believe that any MM would have an "elevator manual stop" or even an universal remote (apart from J!MM for obvious reasons), because it should be MonoTV who is running this stuff.
As an aside, I will point out that, per the CH1 QnA, every character is right-handed apart from Teruko (lefty) and Arei (ambidextrous). You could use this to argue Whit shouldn't be doing anything with his left (the hand behind his back), but that's not good reasoning, as the sprite might just be drawn that way for aesthetic reasons and you're supposed to ignore handedness. Eden also used her left to rip out Xander's eye, apparently. I haven't seen anyone bring it up, but I have made this mistake before with a certain bat swinging Milgram prisoner, so I'm saying this to avoid others making the same mistake.
That clarified, however, the first point is still valid. Although I consider it perfectly possible, at present I do not believe Whit is holding anything behind his back.
Why does he pose like that, then? To answer that, perhaps it'd be better to answer what the deal with his other behavior is.
Because it's weird, right? Whit focuses on Charles even when everyone else, Charles included, are fretting over Teruko and Levi. And then, despite being able to brush off things like Levi's secret confession and Min's execution with nothing but a "that's wack," joking about rewatching said execution, etc., somehow the elevator being closed is what finally gets him to bring out the breakdown sprite?
Well, yes. And this shouldn't be all that surprising, imo. Because everything about Whit's reaction is perfectly in line with his previous behavior. Not to say it isn't weird (it is), just that it's weird in the way Whit's always been weird, and not in any new special way.
This is because every part of this reaction comes from the already established way Whit deals with tragedy; he avoids it, and moves on. You'll immediately think of Whit's mom when I say that, the way he omits her death whenever he speaks of her to the point he genuinely forgets that's a thing until a few seconds after the secret Rose received was brought into the conversation, but there's more examples that are actually closer to this situation. In particular, I want to direct your attention to the investigations in both chapters so far.
For the first trial, Whit spends literal hours hanging out with Charles while the Chemist has a breakdown, to the point he almost didn't investigate at all. This is excusable, of course; he was helping someone in need, and the culprit was thought to be obvious enough that investigation wouldn't be necessary.
The second, though, is perhaps a bit stranger. First, Whit doesn't look closely at Arei's body because he was busy comforting Eden, apparently. Alright, fine. But, hey, how did he try to comfort Eden after everyone started to filter in?
Whit [2-8]: There, there. Pat pat. Do you want to sit down somewhere else?
He immediately wants to leave the room. But, he's still trying to help Eden; maybe he's projecting? Because he'd want to leave the room if a loved one died, so he's asking Eden if she wants to do it?
Except, he does leave the room. He doesn't have any other lines in the playground past this point, and then he starts investigating with Charles, the one dude he knows won't enter the scene of the crime.
And you know when he splits off from Charles?
Whit [2-8]: If you're worried about Rose tampering with evidence, then all you need is another witness to watch over her, right? I can do that, since I'm here. I mean, unless Charles needs me for something.
My guy will genuinely do anything except investigate the playground.
And that's where the pattern starts to be noticeable. Whenever something bad happens, Whit finds any excuse he can to distance himself from the situation. And to be clear, they're usually good excuses; it makes sense for Whit to do all this in a vacuum, it's just odd that he constantly finds them. Other examples include him bringing up alibis when the note first comes up, and then, when he's pressed about it:
Whit [2-9]: Eden has [the note]. Ask her.
He doesn't even... want to have the responsibility of the note? Admittedly that could be for other reasons, but still.
With this pattern of avoidance in mind, the things he says in 2-16 are perfectly explainable. Instead of focusing on Teruko's incoming execution or Levi's injuries, he chooses to focus on Charles, because that's easier for him. He's once again finding an excuse to look away from tragedy.
By the way, I don't want to make it sound like Whit doesn't care about Charles as anything but an excuse to get out of thinking of bad stuff. It's pretty clear a big part of why Whit does the shit he does is that he genuinely cares about Charles as a friend (crush?). Whit probably does want to help Charles just for the sake of helping him, but it does come with the benefit of helping Whit avoid stuff he doesn't want to think about.
This whole avoidance thing is also why Whit is so perturbed by the elevator. When Levi gets shot, Whit probably hopes that they get to leave the trial room quickly to take care of him, at which point Whit can just avoid the situation entirely by just sticking to Charles like usual. But they can't. The elevator is shut. Not only does Whit probably realize that means they have to watch the execution, but it also means Whit is not able to get out of the room where a guy is actively dying, and sticking to Charles only lets him ignore the situation so much.
Why does he have his hand behind his back? Well, this is gonna sound like I'm on anti-Whit!MM copium (I swear I like the theory well enough), but I think he's simply balling up his fist out of stress. It's just that Whit "I don't want to talk about any problems ever and don't want anyone to ever know when I'm suffering" Young is instinctively hiding it so no one sees any sign that he might not be okay.
Does that make sense? Barely? Well, it's not like "emergency elevator shutdown button" is particularly more believable in my eyes, so that's the answer I'm going with for now.
Anyways. Jesus Christ Whit you're barely even relevant to this part how the fuck did you still force me to write so much about you.
Arturo Giles
I have less to write about Arturo than Vero and Whit because he's a bit more straightforward, but I'm still putting him here because he was more directly important this part. Speaking of, what notable things did Arturo do these episodes? Ah, right.
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Arturo [2-12]: You shut your whore mouth!
"I thought you were only doing necessary imag-" This one's necessary shut
I'm using this to talk about the big speech about his talent, that he started studying plastic surgery when he was 12 and that it's impressive he's a plastic surgeon this early in his life. Props to dev for addressing this, I know some people are irked when characters are in the medical field from way too early in life without good justification like this. The fact he started so young also adds to the theory that Arturo's home life sucked, because it'd be really odd for a 12 year old to already be planning to leave otherwise.
The way the cast keeps insulting his skill, even though as he's said several times over the course of the series, the shit they expect him to do is way beyond his area of expertise, is a good way to build up to the way the cast also dismisses Ace's intelligence and skills later.
Other than that, there was one more moment when Arturo took part of the spotlight. When Levi gets shot, despite everything that happened earlier, everyone still turns to Arturo to save the Stylist. This leads to one of the most human moments Arturo's given us since 2-10:
Arturo [post Levi shooting, 2-16]: I--! I'm not that kind of surgeon! I've told you, over and over, I have no experience with saving lives! Something like this! There's no way I can do it--
Apart from the stellar voice acting that cannot be pointed out enough times, Arturo's doubt over Levi's condition is certainly a good setup for CH3, I'm really interested in how he'll handle this. Especially because...
Do you think he'd think of Felicity, looking at Levi like that? Because just like Arturo ignored Felicity's feelings (to an extent) in pursuit of his dream, he also neglected to study the more standard medical knowledge in favor of becoming a plastic surgeon faster, and now he needs that standard medical knowledge to save Levi's life. Food for thought.
Arturo is definitely an interesting character to watch out for moving forward, he's certainly in for a very curious CH3. Final note:
Arturo [to Levi, 2-13]: How could you simply *forget* that you murdered your own family member?
Get it because the death of Felicity haunts him even though he didn't kill her himself- Man I love recap foils.
MonoTV
I cannot fucking believe that this hunk of metal is getting its own section, but it is. 2-16 what an episode you are.
Thankfully, I've already expressed most of my thoughts about this damn thing in this linked post, so I'll just refer you to that one instead of writing it all again. As a summary, there's quite a few lore implications to the fact that we now have a clearly stated purpose for MonoTV, a goal for the killing game, a connection to XF-Ture Tech (because MonoTV seems to have been specifically created for the game), and I'm really wondering why the hell the default XF personality seems to care so much about Teruko and where that could lead to in the future. Also, very curious where the theme of fate will be taken with it, as well as where dev is planning to take the fact that it seems to have feelings of grief and pain and maybe even cares about Teruko??? Or has compassion in general??? What is wrong with this dog-
Rose Lacroix
Btw I greatly appreciate everyone who colors her name rainbow, I see you and you're valid for it. I need to color code my highlighting though, and if I have to do rainbow for every word I highlight I will actually die. Also I would need to put in an epilepsy warning in my posts lol
Rose got a few nice lines, but when it comes to her, there's one big moment that's really on everyone's mind.
Rose [2-14]: Has it really gotten this bad? I think my brain is falling apart. I can't even recall what day it was when that happened. Levi: You can't remember? I was under the impression that your memory was the best out of everyone here. Rose: It's true that I remember everything I see. But that means that most of my memories are meaningless junk. The kind of thing a normal person would forget without a second thought. But I can't forget. My brain won't work the way I want it to. I can't draw associations so easily. Everything reminds me of something meaningless, and I get distracted. And the worst thing is that I remember it all in perfect detail. Xander's body. Min's execution. I can't even look at Teruko without seeing blood. I know I'm supposed to remember everything. I know I'm supposed to be smart. I know I'm supposed to be helpful. Yet I'm not. I... I'm sorry for being useless. Maybe if I tried harder, if I just got over myself--
Do I... need to talk about this, beyond pointing out how good the VAing is? Everything about it is heartbreaking, but pretty straightforward. It's an extension of the conversation she and Teruko had in 2-5, where we also throw in Rose's growing self-doubt and self-blame over everything that's going on around her. It adds into the theme of this cast pushing expectations on each other (like wanting Arturo to be a better doctor or Ace being too stupid to do a murder), throws in some parallels to Teruko and Hu and Eden (the self-blame sisters!!! *fire emoji* *fire emoji* *fire emoji*) and Xander (the survivor's guilt boy!!! *fire emoji* *fire emoji* fire emoji*), foils with J (J who rejects what others like Mariabella want from her VS Rose who internalizes the expectations and accepts the whole Spurling situation), there's the "a normal person would forget" wording that kinda connects her to Nico and Levi and David (the "feeling separated from other humans' experience" siblings!!! *fire emoji* *fire emoji* *fire-), obviously memory is connected with Charles and Teruko, etc.
You see why I don't always talk about parallels? I have to bring up every single character up every time because that's the shit that happens when your writing is this *fire emoji* *fire emoji* *fire emoji*.
The other thing is Nico, but maybe it's better to keep that for their section. Overall, just a fantastic feast for enjoyers of Rose angst.
Arei Nageishi
You know this trial went crazy when Arei got a whole ass character arc during it, and she's the dead one.
For this part in particular, the big Arei moment was obviously during 2-13, when we finally got to hear the end of the conversation between her and David. I'm not transcribing it, because I'm sure we all got the gist. Arei figured out one of the main themes of the chapter, that everyone is a flawed person, and that means that no one's ever too far gone. There's always a possibility of becoming a less shitty person, and that's sweet.
But beyond Themes, learning what Arei's mindset about good and bad people was really helps to understand her actions before this point, though I do find it interesting that the whole "sorting people into good and bad" mentality she had is actually pretty similar to the way she talks about people in her FTE, which is some fun consistency!
Arei [CH1 FTE]: Yup, that's right! I organize everyone I meet into categories of how I should bully them.
... Well the context's different but you get the idea.
Arei used this principle of "sorting" people into "good" and "bad" to deny herself the possibility of getting better, because trying to change is scary. Man I wonder why that rings a bell.
Teruko [to Whit, 2-2]: But if you start talking about me and saying that I could be a good person if only I make an attempt to change, then I'm going to stop you right there. Don't say that I could be a good person, because all it'll do is make me feel bad that I'm not.
Ah right because Teruko's a well written protagonist. And actually wait, isn't there someone else?
David [2-11]: "People can always change?" What complete bullshit. No one ever changes. People who are born lazy, useless and stupid will stay that way until they die. If you were able to "improve" yourself into a better person, then it only means you were a better person to begin with.
Ah right because David is a well written character. Carry on then.
I do wonder why she waited until night three after the motive handout to talk to David about it, though, instead of doing directly after the playground breakdown. Was it, like, she didn't want to confront it directly after and only got the motivation/courage/whatever after talking to Eden? And then couldn't find David until then? It's odd, but I imagine there's no, like, big reason behind it necessarily.
Eden Tobisa
Hey Eden sorry I suspected you as the killer for a year can we still be friends? :,)
There's two big Eden moments to take into consideration, one in 2-14, one in 2-16.
Eden [2-14]: Why... No one... believes in me... Why? I'm... Arei's killer? No... No way....... Hu: Eden? Please don't cry. Eden: This whole time I've been trying to hold myself together... because Arei died...... I wanted so badly for this all to be a dream, and for Arei to be alive and by my side.... But now, you all think I killer her? Why? I cared about her! Arei is... She could have been my friend! Why would I kill her?? Levi: Eden, please calm down... Eden: Why am I being accused of murdering Arei? I wanted to help her! I just wanted to be friends with her! Why would you say that I killed her? Is it because you think I hated her? That's not true! I didn't hate her! Teruko: Eden.
I'm gonna cut it off there and resume in a bit, partly so I can organize this better and partly to make absolutely sure I don't hit the Tumblr limit on characters in a single text block (because my entire blog is evidently dedicated to testing this hellsite's limits lmao).
There's honestly a surprising amount of nuance in this small breakdown. We start with re-establishing that Eden is someone who constantly tries her hardest to remain strong in the face of adversity, holding herself together as best she can when her newest friend just died and she's more or less blaming herself for it.
Then, while I always praise the voice acting (because it deserves it), I need to bring special attention to the sheer amount of emotion in that "Why? I cared about her!" Hearing Eden genuinely frustrated at the accusations on top of her sadness is heartbreaking, and just a wonderful display of humanity from a character who is at times almost inhumanly patient. Makes me feel bad for suspecting her, and she's fictional in our world!
On top of that, "she could have been my friend" is an interesting choice of words regarding Arei. This is where having hyper-analyzed all Eden lines comes in handy lol. Because taken at face value, it means that Eden recognizes that her relationship with Arei wasn't at a stage where she could genuinely called her a friend, given that as far as we know the last conversation they had was after the Arturo thing. Nice depth!
The rest is pretty standard, though again the phenomenal VAing still makes my heart ache. Continuing:
Eden: Teruko... I didn't kill Arei..... Do you believe me?! Teruko: Listen-- Eden: *sniff* I, I didn't do it! Please.... Believe me... This whole trial has been cruel to me.... Help me, Teruko... I can't stand it... I just wanted to help Arei.... I didn't kill her... Teruko: You know I can't just take your words at face value, Eden. Eden: Please, Teruko... You're my friend, aren't you? Friends help each other... So please, help me... I promise I didn't... I didn't kill her.... I'm innocent... Please trust me..... Please.....
AAAAAAAAAAA-
Okay with that basic reaction out of the way, because evidently the reactions didn't have enough "text screaming" for me to fully get it out of my system, this is just a really heart-wrenching scene. Just the combination of VAing, music and visuals, man... ouch. It's especially tragic when taking the following line into account:
Eden [2-3]: Teruko, relationships aren't transactional. It's not that I did something good for you that you should do something good for me.
The Eden hyperfocus comes in clutch again- Is it weird that being an Eden!Culprit believer for so long is making me appreciate her character more now that she's confirmed innocent? :v
Teruko has, up to this point, never outright claimed herself to be Eden's friend, at least not as far as I can recall. Hell, her lines following Eden's plea for help seem to completely disregard the idea.
Teruko [2-14]: So for now, I'm going to assume you're innocent. Eden: W-What? Really? Thank you so much, Teruko... Teruko: Don't... get me wrong. This isn't out of kindness or pity or anything else. This is only because you helped me in the last trial. I'm repaying your favor, and nothing else. That's why I'll trust you, just this once.
How much she means that is for the Teruko section. What's important is that this means that when Eden says "you're my friend, aren't you?", she is actively going against her claim that relationships aren't transactional. She expects Teruko to consider herself Eden's friend because Eden has done a lot of stuff to try to make that friendship work.
This. Is. Wonderful. Don't you love it when characters fail to uphold their beliefs when faced with a horribly stressful situation? Well, I love suffering, so I sure do! :D
To be clear, I'm not trying to paint Eden as a hypocrite or anything. She's right in saying that relationships aren't transactional, and is justified in asking Teruko to help her because she considers Teruko her friend, even if it's a slight contradiction. After all, what are humans if not a swirling well of contradictions, desperately arranging themselves like the magnetic moments of a metal to try to make the slightest bit of sense of a reality they hopelessly seek to understand-
Ehem. The point is I like Eden a lot :D
Speaking of wonderfully human moments, time to switch to the other big Eden character moment!
Eden [2-16]: This... This all could have been prevented, couldn't it? [...] Of course I know [we can't blame ourselves for Ace's murder]. Ace planned to kill Arei, and even before that, he was planning to kill me. Rose: Then how can you forgive him? Eden: I never said I forgave him. It's just that... The Ace that I met for the first time wasn't a murderer. I... I can't forgive him. He killed Arei, after all. She was innocent, and he killed her for unfair reasons. But... Those unfair reasons were unfair to him as well.
You know, we joke about how awesome it is that the entirety of the DRDT cast is mentally unstable (because it is), but it's also cool to see the one actually more or less functional member of society in the group being the voice of reason like this. Not to spoil anything, but I find her stance regarding Ace's murder as the most reasonable stance one could have, and it's always cool to see a character who has reasonable opinions every now and then. But having such an opinion is easy when you're outside the show and the characters are all pixels on a screen; the fact that Eden can still find it in herself to be charitable towards Ace's situation while not outright forgiving him for his actions is a really powerful statement about her strength and sense of morality. Eden could not stop catching Ws this part.
Anyways, here's a few more fun Eden moments this part gave us.
Eden [2-15]: Wait, but... Is Ace even capable of doing a feat of strength like that? He's injured, after all.
I just think it's sweet Eden tries to defend Ace even when she's the other prime suspect :)
Levi [2-13]: And if tomorrow it turned out you all had passed away, I'd care as much as if we had never met. Eden: But you're a good person. Why are you saying these things when it's clearly not true? You're so kind to everyone. You're always helping others out, even when it'd be easier not to. Like that time Ace almost died. You kept trying to help him, even if he always pushed you away. Isn't that what "a good person" does?
For all the Eden Ws, she had to take an Eden L. Come on, Eden, Levi doesn't need to actually care to be a good person, he just needs to do good things, you know this :(
It makes sense character-wise, though. Eden has a surprisingly strong belief system, which is heavily shaped by her emotional nature, so it makes sense that Levi's Deal of doing good things with no emotional attachment to them would throw her off.
Still cool of her to accept Levi as a good person even though she just learnt he killed four people, however. It's good characterization; despite her misunderstanding with the lack of empathy thing, she still chooses to judge Levi based on the things she's personally observed, as opposed to making assumptions over things she only has half the story for.
Man, she's just so mature and cool and awesome and not fucked up in any way! Now that the tape thing's been resolved, I can't think of a single thing that would make anyone think that she might be a little-
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Ah. Right.
Well, as a first reaction, this is definitely an Eden W in the oh so prevalent... DRDT powerscaling scene? She apparently managed to slash at Xander's eye, twice, with a fork. And with her non-dominant hand no less!
So... what the hell am I even supposed to do with this? Unfortunately, we're currently missing gigantic amounts of critical information regarding this situation, meaning I can't for the life of me come to any conclusions, at least not confidently. I tried to look at the pre-prologue dialogue to see if I could find anything, but...
Ouch... I really wasn't expecting her to attack me like that. I made a massive mistake to trust them. I can't rely on anyone. All by myself... I have to end the killing game. And even if I can't do that... I have to kill Teruko Tawaki. No matter what.
Fuck am I supposed to gather from this.
Uh... someone told Xander that Eden would be down with whatever plan Xander had to end the killing game if he just showed her whatever documents we're seeing in the Bloody Hands scene??? And she got too scared and just stabbed him with a fork??? Who is the "them" who told Xander this, a group of people, or a single person and Xander's playing the pronoun game? Or was it Nico???
Nico [1-9]: Are you really using unclear pronouns for dramatic effect? That's such a cliche.
Fuck it, locking in Nico as the one who told Xander to talk to Eden, just because that's the funniest possible reason Xander could have used "they" there. I doubt it's true, but it's gonna feed my God complex if I get it right, so-
Yeah, in case it isn't obvious, I have very little idea what this scene could even be about. Very excited to see where this could go :D
Nico Hakobyan
Nico stole the show for practically half of 2-14, so it's natural we should start at the main event.
First, the soft confirmation that Nico really did attack Ace with a plan to get away with the murder and escape as the blackened, particularly framing Hu by using her wire. This... vaguely contradicts something they claimed earlier, so we gotta discuss the implications.
Veronika [to Nico, 2-9]: Is this what you were envisioning when you tried to kill Ace? That the trial would happen like this, but with Ace instead of Arei dead? Nico: I didn't... I never thought about it... I... I never should have... done that...
Were they just... lying here? Did they mean something else?
My best guess to explain this apparent contradiction is that Nico thought about the trial in a more... impersonal sense? Like, when planning to kill Ace, they figured they should try to hide that so they didn't go down with him, but sort of... ignored that winning the trial would kill everyone else? It's hard to describe, but that's what I get from that line as well as:
Nico [2-14]: I tried to kill [Ace] because I don't like [him].
When they say they "never thought about the trial," they probably mean that they never thought about the full implications of it, even though they did plan for it. They knew in some level they were supposed to hide the murder if they did it, but things like escaping the killing game and actually getting everyone else killed didn't fully register. This thought process makes sense in my mind, I hope it makes sense in yours because I don't know how to describe it any better :v
Second.
Eden [2-14]: That's- That's so cruel! Nico, why? Aren't we all friends? If something was bothering you, you could have talked it out with someone else you trusted? Nico: ... Someone I trust? What are you talking about? I don't trust anyone here.
Fantastic bit of characterization here. Nico, despite being relatively civil to anyone they're not actively planning to kill, apparently trusts no one. However, I want to explore what exactly that means. Because it's not like Nico is paranoid they're gonna get killed per say:
Hu [2-12]: Nico does have an alibi. I was having breakfast and tea with them in their room early in the morning as well. Drop it, Ace.
I can think of few better opportunities to kill someone than being alone with them, in their room, at around 7:30 AM when it's still officially nighttime. Nico, at least, trusts that Hu won't kill them, though whether that's because they're confident they could survive anything she tries or because they genuinely trust she wouldn't try at all is up in the air.
Point is, Nico is distrustful, but not as paranoid as, say, Ace. Because of that, currently, I believe Nico's claim that they don't trust anyone is an extension of things they've said before; that they prefer animals because people are unpredictable. Really, Nico's lack of trust being interpreted as "not trusting people to react to their concerns properly" is very consistent with the way they've acted in the past, particularly their reaction to getting forced into revealing their secret, so we probably shouldn't be surprised.
Nico [2-6]: I thought you would laugh at me. I was worried you would pick up rocks and start throwing them at me or pick up clumps of mud and start throwing them at me.
Next point:
Nico [2-14]: You all are right. I tried to kill Ace and pin the murder on Hu. What else should I say? Ace: W-- "What else should I say"?? You tried to murder me. You fucking tried to murder me! And after all's said and done, you can't even say something as simple as "sorry"?! Nico: ... I tried to kill you because I don't like you. Even now, there's still no use to try and pretend that I like you. If I say "sorry," you're still going to hate me.
... Yeah.
Nico [2-2]: If you're having dinner and want someone to pass the salt, you can say, "Please pass the salt," or you can say, "Give me the salt." One of those things is supposed to be more polite than the other, right? But why? They both mean the same thing. They're just slightly different mixes of words. It's like that. I don't understand why some mixes of words come off as "rude," and some don't, even if they mean the same thing.
I don't even think I need to explain this further. I think it's pretty clear why Nico wouldn't apologize to Ace. Nico's just not to into social conventions.
Except:
Veronika [2-15]: What's wrong, Ace? You seem stressed. [Your neck injuries] are only wounds. What's the issue? Could it be that almost being murdered has traumatized you a little bit~? Ace: You think?! You think that almost being killed could have maybe given me a little trauma!? Nico: ... [Whispered voice clip: "I'm sorry"]
This one's... odd. Nico doesn't say it loud enough for Ace to hear, evidently, so it's just a genuine reaction to the harm they've caused. What could have triggered this change? Uh... maybe a little extra trauma dump will help? Let's pick up after where we left off in 2-14.
Rose [continued]: D-Do you even regret what you did to [Ace]? Do you regret what you were planning to do to everyone else? Nico: O-Of course I regret doing it! I'm not Levi, of course I feel bad about something like that. I'm not heartless! Levi: Heartless? Nico: That was the worst choice I've made in my life. I wish I had never done that. But looking back, I still understand why I did. I... I just can't stand being treated like that. My teachers, my classmates, my father... I don't ever want to relive what they did to me. It's because of those kinds of people that I can't be happy with who I am. That's why I hate Ace.
Okay cut off there. First, interesting to see Nico calling Levi heartless. I've seen it brought up that it makes sense for Nico, who struggles to relate to other people on a good day, to latch onto any defense of their "normalcy" they can, including "I'm not the weirdest person here" despite how hurtful that can be to say. That's some neurodivergent on neurodivergent hostility right there! Fun to see characters being flawed in new and unique ways /gen.
Apart from that, there's some nice reveals to Nico's backstory, which are always welcome. We already knew Nico was harassed because of their identity, but now we have names (as in, identity of aggressors); teachers, classmates, and Nico's father. That obviously comes with a question; was Nico raised by a single father, or did they have other relatives who were more accepting? For now, we got no clue.
But that final line is important, because I believe it's what explains Nico's whispered apology in 2-15.
Nico [already written]: It's because of those kinds of people that I can't be happy with who I am. That's why I hate Ace.
Nico's apology comes after Ace explicitly mentions being traumatized over the murder attempt, in particular in regards to his neck wounds. This can be taken as Ace revealing he's not happy with a part of himself (scars) as a result of Nico's actions. When abstracted this way, the comparison to Nico's situation (unhappy with a part of themselves (gender identity) as a result of others' actions) is much clearer. Nico apologizes for accidentally causing Ace a comparable trauma to their own. Which... I think makes sense from their point of view? People apologize when they do something hurtful they didn't mean to; Nico meant to murder Ace, so no apology for that, but they didn't mean the trauma, so they say sorry for it. Not that Ace heard it, but you know.
... That's a weird ass thought process, but I think it makes just enough sense to explain the apology. Let's finish the 2-14 scene.
Nico [continued]: Even so... I'm not a child. I know that murder is wrong. I'm not the victim here. I know that it was dumb to resort to murder. I don't even know what I thought I would have accomplished back then. I mean, I started regretting it as soon as Eden and Teruko saw me. I don't expect you to forgive me. Very few people ever do. So I don't see the point in acting sorry. ... That's the entire truth of my murder attempt. I don't have anything else to say.
So... "I don't even know what I thought I would have accomplished back then" seems to corroborate what I said earlier about Nico not truly grasping the full implications of a trial while they planned the murder, which is nice.
Nico's attitude over this ("I'm not the victim here") is nice to see, and makes me very interested in where their arc is going to go from here. Especially since Nico maturely accepting the blame is already causing friction between them and Hu (even if Hu doesn't seem to notice), and will likely continue to do so in the future.
Hu [2-14]: You all are too cruel! None of you understand how much stress Nico was under! And yet you continue to insist on bringing this up. Can't you see that you're traumatizing them? Nico: Hu, I-- Hu: Don't worry, Nico, I'm on your side. I'll always defend you. I can be reliable for you. You trust me, right? Nico: ... I never asked you to defend me--
... We're gonna have to talk about this in the Hu section.
Finally, "I don't expect you to forgive me. Very few people ever do."
Nico, what the hell does this mean? What have you done in the past that requires so much forgiving? What in the [DR2 CH3 killer]-?
Unfortunately, this is one of those "we're missing critical information" situations when we can't even begin to speculate what, if anything, this is supposed to mean. We'll move on and patiently yet eagerly await elaboration.
There's one more big thing to bring up in respects to Nico, and that's... Rose. For who knows what reason, Nico never gives an explicit answer to whether they actually were interested in learning to paint or not.
Rose [2-14]: Did [Nico] even want to learn to paint? Or to be my friend at all? Or were they only using me as a tool for murder? Nico: ...
Regardless of what the answer is, that's kinda weird. I'm leaning "no, they didn't want to learn to paint," because it sure would be a hell of a coincidence that they just happened to gain an interest in painting just when they're planning a murder that happens to require a painting supply.
That said, Nico does still seem to somewhat care about Rose, and probably would like to be her friend. At least enough to eventually apologize to her out loud.
Rose [2-16]: [Ace]'s right. Only Nico took [the turpentine] from me, and I really doubt they gave it to Ace afterwards. Hu: You're always attacking Nico like this! Nico: It's the truth, though. And Rose is right. I kept it. I still have the turpentine in my room. I'm sorry.
And it's not like anything this chapter erased the FTE:
Nico [FTE]: I was going to thank [Rose] for hanging out with me. I really enjoyed her presence.
So, while I can't know for sure, I hope Nicorose can make a comeback, at least in time for Nico to die so dev can inflict extra psychological pain on Rose! :D
Final highlight:
Nico [to Levi, 2-13]: If you said you killed [your father] because you just didn't like him, I could understand that. But you're saying you forgot about taking a life...
Apart from Nico obviously projecting their own murder motives on other people, do we think Nico ever considered killing their own father? I doubt they actually did, else that would probably be their motive secret (provided it's not a Veronika situation where their secret isn't the worst thing they've done), but I could see them considering it given how they talked about him and Ace in the same breath, and... yeah Nico sure did want to kill Ace alright.
Hu Jing
Hu was quite fascinating this part, wasn't she? For someone that actually ended up having zero relation to the murder, she sure had a lot of important character scenes. Let's start with the confirmation of a particular theory that really helps understand her character better.
Hu [2-13]: I've been quite selfish this whole time, keeping my secret because I didn't want you all to think less of me. Most of all, I wanted to lie to myself and pretend that I had no ties to the person that I used to be. I wanted to believe that the past never happened. But that's just self-centered. I've always been a selfish person, haven't I? I should put those feelings aside and do what is right. No, I should have done this from the start. I will share my secret as long as you all promise to immediately move on. I have Veronika's secret, and she has mine.
Well that's just sad.
I don't think I particularly need to analyze this, it's all pretty explicit. Hu wants to be relied on because she feels useless if she doesn't provide guidance:
Hu [2-11]: I have to be the one to give everyone guidance. That's the only thing I can do. If no one relies on me, then I won't be useful anymore.
And if it comes out that she's attempted suicide, then in her eyes, that makes her less reliable.
(Obvious disclaimer is obvious, the character's views don't reflect my own, there's no shame in having attempted suicide or needing help to keep fighting it, etc.)
As a result, she dislikes the memory of that "hopeless child" who attempted three times, and wishes to avoid talking about it if possible. Metamorphosis (butterfly) and rebirth (water by her name being "still lake") symbolism pulling through.
Also, while there's many reasons someone could attempt suicide, that little "I've always been a selfish person, haven't I?", especially combined with other statements she's made in the past, heavily implies her attempts were a result of self-loathing :( . Thus why she so desperately seeks value in herself by helping others, which is sorta crumbling as everyone she put her faith on (David, Nico especially) starts to reveal themselves as not-that-great-people.
Hence why I'm worried we might see a fourth attempt in the killing game. Her secret quote seems to go against the idea, which combined with some of her statements in the series proper make me doubt it, but y'know... The precedent's there.
Anyways, I'm bringing this up first because, again, it helps understand her other actions this chapter.
Hu [to David, 2-12]: Unacceptable! What on earth [sic] is your problem? I have had it up to here with you! Because this killing game requires us to live, you think you should just reject that notion and kill us all? You lied to me, manipulated everyone, and tried to make us all commit mass suicide! You really are the lowest of human beings. You have no right to decide whether I, whether any of us, live or die, all because *you* feel like you have no chance! If you're so bent on dying here, then die! But don't you dare try and make everyone else die with you. If we decide to continue living, then we will. It is not and never will be your decision as to what happens with our lives. David: ... Rose: Wow. Hu can be scary. Hu: ... I'm sorry to everyone else. But I've lost my patience. I won't apologize to David.
(Obligatory props to VAing ofc)
I mean, yeah, it makes sense for someone who used to be suicidal to be mad at David's bullshit. Especially considering that, in regards to "you lied to me, manipulated everyone here," the line I mentioned before about providing guidance continues like this:
Hu [to David, continued from before, 2-11]: I have to be the one to give everyone guidance. That's the only thing I can do. If no one relies on me, then I won't be useful anymore. You knew how I felt, and yet you... You... You toyed with my heart! All that time you acted like you were encouraging us to reveal our secrets to "prevent conflict." That was all a lie!
Assuming the whole "You toyed with my heart!" thing isn't referring to a conversation we don't have information on (which, to be clear, is 100% possible), it's possible that at this point in the trial Hu felt bad for going along with David's plan, especially since she might have believed it directly led to Arei's death. I think it's worth noting that she's one of the two first person to speak after Ace confesses, and she asks if he did it because of the motive.
Ace [2-15]: I killed Arei. That's exactly right. Shit, it sounds really bad when I say it out loud. Eden: Why? Why did you kill her? Why would you do such a horrible thing? Hu: Did you kill Arei because of MonoTV's motive? Because you wanted to keep your "secret" hidden--
Which could be read as her trying to confirm whether or not going along with David's plan was a good or bad idea, maybe?
Admittedly, "going along with David's plan" in her case literally just means "she told David, Nico and Teruko that people used to call her Julia," which you could argue is too small for her to genuinely feel like she contributed, but keep in mind the "you toyed with my heart" line is directly before a line referencing the "reveal the secrets" plan. At the very least, she didn't go against it, not in a significant way anyways.
If I'm right to be reading these lines the way I'm reading them (which, again to be clear, might be wrong), then David purposefully used Hu's desire to help and be relied on to get her to agree with his plan, or at least not go against it, or at least Hu feels he did. Whether he intentionally targeted her, or if his methods to convince the others to convince the cast of revealing their secrets just happened to strike a cord (zither pun not intended) with Hu, is still unclear, but both are possible.
So she's already incredibly pissed at him for that, then he says he wants everyone dead, yeah my girl's got the right to go off.
Though, speaking of Hu blaming herself for what happened to an extent:
Hu [2-16]: Arei wasn't killed because of an accident. Bad luck or not, Ace had made up his mind to go through with this murder! So we can't possibly blame ourselves for failing to prevent something like that.
This is after Ace confirms that the motive and David's BS had nothing to do with the murder, so Hu can fully deny blame for what happened. Which is relatively fair, it's not like being mean to someone makes you guilty if they then choose to kill someone, but it's also presumably really important for her mental stability.
Did any of that make absolutely any sense? Maybe. Hopefully.
And that's just all the Hu-only stuff. Because a big part of her character this chapter was defending Nico far beyond what anyone could possibly see as reasonable. I'll bring back the example I gave before, because I think it's by far the most extreme.
Nico [2-14]: Someone I trust? What are you talking about? I don't trust anyone here. Hu: Stop! Just stop it! You all are too cruel! None of you understand how much stress Nico was under! And yet you continue to insist on bringing this up. Can't you see that you're traumatizing them? Nico: Hu, I-- Hu: Don't worry, Nico, I'm on your side. I'll always defend you. I can be reliable for you. You trust me, right? Nico: ... I never asked you to defend me--
Like, this goes beyond unreasonable. Nico literally says they don't trust anyone in the killing game, but Hu still thinks they trust her for... some reason. And even though Nico says they never asked her to defend them, Hu continues doing it past this point.
The thing is, though... why? Like, I get the basics here, it's what we talked about earlier. Hu only finds worth in herself by being reliable, and she sees Nico as someone who needs her reliability, so she tries to defend them no matter what. Hell, she even specifically says "I can be reliable for you" in the quote.
But... is there a reason she's so adamant towards them in particular? She doesn't get like this when Eden starts being accused, even though they have a good relationship with each other. Apart from reciting Rule 10 when it first comes up, once that gets thrown into question, the only thing Hu says when Levi and Arturo talk about Eden possibly being the killer is:
Hu [2-14]: Eden? Please don't cry.
She never pushes back against David's claim that he saw the corpse, even though that would practically exonerate Eden via BDA; that's Nico who does that. And Hu never claims Eden is being traumatized by being accused even though she clearly takes the accusations a lot worse than Nico was taking them in 2-14.
So, like, what the hell? Is there a deeper reason she's so defensive towards Nico and not Eden, or am I just going insane?
Well, at this point, if such a deeper reason exists, I have no clue what it could be. I could speculate about Nico reminding her of someone in the past, be it herself or someone else, or maybe Hu just sees Eden as less "in need" because she's generally more stable and happier than Nico, but really, I have no way of knowing.
The thing I can talk about in regards to the Hu-Nico thing is its parallels to Veronika-Arturo and Levi-Ace.
Veronika-Arturo is funny because, well.
Veronika [2-10]: Arturo, you're... You're so... Fascinating. You're really entertaining. So I'll take your side. I don't care about morals. I don't care about whether people get hurt or whether they die. I just need to be entertained. If you become more and more irredeemable, then I'll only love you more~ I want to hear all about those terrible things you did with no justification. Arturo: For someone who's taking my side, you sure are making me look a lot worse!
I really love how a big part of the Vero-Hu recap foil so far can be reduced to the "I can fix them" vs "I can make him worse" meme :p There are their secrets as well, but that analysis will have to wait for further elaboration on them, presumably in CH3.
Meanwhile, Levi-Ace... will have to wait for the Levi section, because this is already getting quite long for Hu, and it requires a bit more context on his character.
Miscellaneous highlights!
Hu [2-14]: Hang on! Eden isn't the killer! Don't accuse her! Charles: Not this again. You can't keep blindly defending the people you hope to be innocent if you don't have evidence, Hu.
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Hu: I do have evidence! Why are you writing me off? All because I-- ... *sigh* Rule 10...
Damn she really gets defensive when you question her reliability huh?
Well, moving on. That was a pretty long section, hopefully the next one will be easier to write.
...
Oh. Oh no.
David Chiem
YOU
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WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Genuinely what is this motherfucker's problem? Everything he does seems to contradict something he did before, for reasons unknown. The only way I can even begin to try to analyze this son of a bitch is to go through everything he does in the series in chronological order, because trying to figure out his thought process in any other way would drive me in circles harder than anything in LGI ever did.
The first thing David truly does that informs us on his later actions is forming a genuine and positive relationship with Xander. In case the LGI MV didn't make it clear that David genuinely cared about the Rebel, we finally got near 100% confirmation of why exactly David liked him so much.
David [2-12]: You, and everyone else listening. I do so kindly request that pretty please stop talking about Xander at all if you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. It pisses me off to no end. After all, it's still unbelievable to me... ...That I'm the only person here who remembered him. Even if you all lost a year of memories for this killing game, there's no reason you shouldn't have recognized who he was.
While we unfortunately don't get much more clarification, it seems David knew what Xander did to earn the title of Ultimate Rebel, and likely admired him as a result. As per Xander's numeral I in LGI, "I have always looked up to you."
This admiration is presumably why David was so adamant in the first trial that there was no way Xander really tried to murder Teruko.
David [Debate Scrum, 1-8]: Are you saying that Xander is a killer? I find that difficult to believe.
You might argue that maybe he was just trying to throw the first trial, the same way he tried to throw the second. But that's not possible.
This is where we get to Weird Point #1. David didn't want to lose the first trial.
Nico [1-11]: Ah, right. Min was going from the laundry room to the kitchen. That path crosses the computer lab. She would have seen Teruko's body if the door was open. Min: ... Ace: And why exactly would the fucking door be open? Nico: U-Um... David: I suppose Min may have arrived near the computer lab's entrance just as Charles left. If she was curious, she would have even gone out of her way to see what was happening in there.
If David was trying to throw, he wouldn't be the first to explain how it would be possible for Min to be involved in the murder. And this is only one example, there's other lines where he specifically suspects Min. Apparently, he simply cannot handle a bad bitch winning (committing murder and trying to sacrifice 14 lives for her own benefit).
However, something in David shifts upon seeing Min's execution.
David [1-12]: I... I've seen enough. There's no point in keeping my hopes up anymore. We are all certainly going to die here.
This line is said pretty somberly.
Which is weird. Because not four days later, David will be trying to throw a class trial, which will kill everyone and him. Interesting detail about that, David doesn't seem to believe that the blackened will escape if they actually voted wrong, based on this line.
David [2-12]: 15 lives. Some of them are very dear to you. And your own life as well. Is there anything at all that could be more important to you than those 16 human lives?
Where he seems to imply a wrongful vote will cause 16 deaths.
But the thing is, it's not just the trial, is it? David also tried to instigate a murder through his "reveal all motive secrets" idea. That's what he does during the majority of CH2, starting in 2-4, just two days after Min's execution. Now, it's fully possible that at this point, he wasn't yet planning to throw the next trial, but rather, he was just doing this to hide his own secret. He certainly considers losing his "speaker persona" a genuine sacrifice, so it isn't unbelievable that he'd hope for a murder even if he was planning to win the trial if it happened.
David [2-12]: Even so... Lying about all that wasn't easy. Even I like to have good relations with others, however fake they might be. And I had to throw that all away. I know that no one will ever trust me, believe in me, or look up to me again after this. But doing "good" things requires sacrifice. Sometimes that sacrifice is being seen as "a good person." That's what I learned from Xander. Even if doing something will make you hated, if that action is for a greater good, then it's an action that you have to take.
(By the way, his views of goodness as martyrdom are quite interesting and I'm curious to see where it will go, but currently we don't have much more than this line for insight on it)
However, I don't quite think that he just wanted to keep the others' goodwill; I think he was already hoping to throw from the moment he started instigating the murder. And this is where we need to ask; what was it that made David switch up? What happened between the first trial and the second that made his goals change from surviving to... whatever he's cooking now? Because in case it wasn't clear from how I'm talking about it, I don't believe David gave the real reason for his throwing to the class. Let's look at the "confession."
David [2-12]: Ugh, fucking fine. You want an answer so badly? Any answer? ... I...
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Ah... We're... in a television show, after all. That's... what MonoTV said, right? "Entertainment" is an ongoing show. If Min successfully got away with the very first murder and escaped while we all died, then isn't that way less interesting for a TV show? What's the point of roping 14 other people into one murder, only to kill them all off immediately? The killer is supposed to fail and be executed. We're all supposed to catch the killer, again and again, and participate in trial after trial. You're *supposed* to try to survive. All of you who are trying to solve these class trials to continue living on are playing straight into MonoTV's hands. [Confident] As if I'll accept that. I don't care how low I'll sink, or how despicable I'll have to become. I'll do anything to carry on Xander's ideals by ending this killing game, even if it means that I have to dirty my hands.
Although I wrote it all out, I want you to focus on the start: ".... - I... - Ah... We're... in a television show, after all." Even beyond the meta argument that it's unlikely we'd actually get the answer to why Xander wanted to win the class trial this early in the series (which is a valid argument, but I prefer to theorize without meta reasoning), that hesitation should tell you everything. The way it's written, it makes it seem like David is hesitating because he's making everything up on the spot, up to the "Ah..." potentially being the exact moment David figured out what angle he wanted to take. Given he's already admitted to both being manipulative and wanting to get everyone killed, this is the only reason I can see for why he'd hesitate to give such a relatively simple and "reasonable" (as in, it logically follows even if it's still insane) answer.
So, now we have two questions. What does he actually want to achieve by throwing, and why did he only start pursuing it after the first trial ended?
Well, let me say first that I don't think we're supposed to be able to answer these questions yet. Obviously; we're dealing with shit very closely connected to some pretty large, overarching mysteries of the series, which we probably won't get full answers for until much later than CH2. But we can try to speculate the general direction of what the answer will be. Let's look at another one of his lines to try to do just that.
David [2-13]: Achoo! Ah--Bless me! Also, excuse me! Wow, thank you for your support, everyone!
(I only included that line because it's fucking hilarious and I didn't want that to go unappreciated :p)
I have another interruption~ Hu: ... David: Teruko. Own up your [sic] goddamn secret already. You are the last person to do so. [...] Teruko: ... My family. David: ...
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So, just like everyone who is somewhat deep in the DRDT theorizing community, I don't think this is true. I am pretty sure David has Teruko's secret, that secret being "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault." There's many reasons beyond the weird ass David sprite pictured above, which many have already covered, but as a quick overview: the family secret ("you're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them") fits Xander better (see: Bonus Episode 2, Xander's secret quote being the definition of survivor's guilt), the family secret mentions "siblings" plural when Teruko's only claimed to have one brother, we don't know what happened to Teruko's parents and brother when we know Xander's family is dead, Teruko didn't believe David when he said he got Xander's secret so she probably suspects the killing game one is hers, "this killing game is all your fault" is consistent with the second anniversary art code ("It's all your fault" in a picture which only features Teruko reaching out to presumably-Mai's hands, which disappear), etc.
So now we have four questions, because evidently I'm quite bad at this. Apart from the two mentioned before, we need to ask why David lied about the secret he received, and why he was happy when Teruko answered with the family thing.
But sometimes, one question can answer others. The reason I'm bringing this up is because I believe David's heel turn was likely motivated in some way by receiving Teruko's secret. Take a look at his immediate reaction when the secrets are first handed out.
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Pretty frowny, huh? Yeah understandable given the secret he received is "hey the killing game is all the girl that Xander tried to kill's fault." Unfortunately this is the only reaction David has to any of the secrets, as the rest of his dialogue after this is just explaining J's secret. Well, and this:
Eden [2-1]: Then let's end the killing game before [the motive secret reveal]! Nico: Eh?! David: Optimistic as ever, Eden. I'll do my best.
Which is kinda funny in retrospect. Yeah, he sure did do his best to end the killing game before the secret reveals.
Tangent aside, the important thing is that David wasn't necessarily surprised by Teruko's secret, but rather, uh... Well it's hard to read him on expression alone. Frustrated, maybe? Possibly mad that Xander didn't succeed in killing her? It's also worth noting that this is shortly before Teruko goes into her whole "I don't plan on leaving" shtick, which includes the following tidbit (and yes David is in the room to hear this).
Teruko [2-1]: And I'd recommend that you drop that foolish optimism for making it out of here alive. With 100% confidence, I can say that... You will all die down here without ever seeing the outside world again. Ace: This bitch is totally out of her mind. Teruko: I'm not saying this out of ill-will. It's simply how this story works. You all have the misfortune of being "characters" in a story where I'm the "protagonist." Because of that, you're all doomed.
What's so important about this? Because I believe that, in David's mind, this proves Xander right. It proves that there is something off about Teruko, that he probably did have a good reason to attack her, that the note he received wasn't complete bullshit. If there is any single thing that would get David to follow Xander's footsteps, regardless of whether he has the full story or he's just doing what Xander was trying to do even without knowing the reasons the Rebel made the moves he made, it would be getting confirmation that the person he tried to kill specifically has something suspicious going on.
Especially because David does, in fact, seem to have a very weird fixation on Teruko.
David [2-14]: As long as there's a possibility that the evidence is false, as long as there's even the slightest reason to distrust others, then Teruko cannot trust Eden. Isn't that right, Teruko? Teruko: ... David: It's in your nature to distrust people. Everyone you know has already betrayed you. There's no one in this world who won't hurt you. Even the people you love will turn their backs on you in the end. You know that well enough, don't you? So distrust in others. Because that's the only way you know how to live. Teruko: ...
(Obligatory props to VAing ofc)
... Alright so it's five questions. Because how does he know all that?
Let me knock that one out quickly, though. Right now, I don't think this is solid enough reason to suspect that David knows more about Teruko than he's letting on. I could be wrong about that and David could just be aware of her entire backstory, but I currently don't believe that.
Instead, I think this might actually be an extension of his talent, in a way. The joke that he gave Teruko a "demotivational speech" is funny, but I also think it's actually on the right track. David knows the right things to say to someone to inspire them, to push back against their insecurities, as he did with Arei in the playground breakdown. Thus, it logically follows that if he's able to identify emotional weakness to push against it, he would also be able to exploit it.
Or, try, at least. He actually fails pretty spectacularly, since Teruko ends up trusting Eden anyways, and I don't think there were any reverse psychology 5D chess moves on David's part given his immediate reaction to Teruko's 2-14 speech to Eden.
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Like, that's the face of a man who tried to be slick and failed miserably.
(And in case it isn't clear, I don't think his lie of seeing the body had anything to do with the trial, he did it just to fuck with Teruko)
In any case, what happened here is that he figured out the (relatively obvious, it doesn't take an Ultimate to see this) trust issues that plague Teruko, and is trying to make them worse in order to... uh... fill in the blank I guess. One option I've considered is that he knows something about how her luck works, that it hurts people she likes, so if she doesn't trust anyone then her luck's effects will be concentrated entirely on Teruko. However, that requires a pretty deep understanding of something he shouldn't have that much info on, so I don't find it that likely. Also I'm not 100% sure if this is how her luck actually works so there's that.
Yeah, unfortunately, at this point I struggle to see exactly what David's angle is here, which is probably intentional given, again, CH2. However, it does somewhat tie back into what we were talking about. Along with everything else I've mentioned, this fixation on Teruko's trust makes me believe that David's heel turn is at least partially motivated by receiving her secret.
And if we once again combine questions 3, 4 and 5, we can actually arrive at a new conclusion. We know David's hiding Teruko's secret, we know he's happy that she's not calling him out on it, and we know that he has a vested interest in getting her to distrust others. With all these combined, I believe that David is trying to look for a way to manipulate Teruko specifically as a backup plan if the cast managed to win the trial, which they did.
By getting her to distrust others, she'd isolate, making her an easier target for manipulation as she wouldn't have anyone to fall back on if David starts getting to her. And the secret is good blackmail, pretty straightforward why he he hasn't revealed it yet. That's also why he's happy she helped him keep it hidden; he can pull it as a card to make her seem less trustworthy and isolate her further. "She lied about her secret, she was trying to hide it." If she had been honest and said that neither the family nor the poison secret fit her and that someone lied about their secret, it would make her look comparatively better once the secret came out. In other words, it makes the blackmail even better, especially because now David knows for a fact that she wants to keep it hidden.
That brings up to question 6: why does David want to manipulate Teruko in the first place? And this is where we finally reach a dead end, because again, CH2, we're not gonna get all the answers yet. I have less than zero idea what David will try to manipulate Teruko into doing, when he will make his move, what his end goal is, or any other question you can imagine. I have my doubts that he'll succeed, obviously, but of course that depends a lot on what his final angle ends up being.
So, let's recap.
David knew of Xander before the killing game, admiring him because of his work as the Ultimate Rebel. As a result, David tried to establish a good relationship with Xander once the killing game started.
David originally rejected the idea of Xander attacking Teruko out of denial and nothing else. He had genuine faith his friend wouldn't do that. David wanted to catch the correct blackened in the first trial.
Upon receiving Teruko's secret and hearing her speech about everyone dying as a result of misfortune, David begins to believe Xander was in the right, and chooses to pursue what he thinks Xander was trying to accomplish. This includes trying to instigate a murder and admitting to killing Arei.
David lied about his motivation to throw the trial. I don't know if he's specifically trying to kill Teruko, or if he thinks everyone in the cast needs to die for some reason, or if he genuinely has no idea what Xander was trying to do and he's just following his actions blindly, or if it's something else entirely; whatever motivation he actually has, it's not what he said.
As a backup plan if the cast manages to win the trial, he hides Teruko's secret and plans to manipulate her via blackmail, for reasons yet unknown. This is why he's happy that she also keeps it hidden, and why he tries to build her distrust in others.
And that's the basics of what I believe regarding his actions... related to throwing the trial and Teruko. We still have one more David Moment TM to deal with.
David [about the Arei conversation, 2-13]: ... Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I didn't say anything to her, and she didn't have much to say to me either. Arei simply got annoyed with me and left without saying anything else. Nothing else happened between us, I promise. Eden: You promise? You absolutely promise, you didn't say anything to her? David: One hundred and one percent, I promise. Ace overheard everything, and what he told you all was the entire truth. Does that satisfy you? Eden: ... That's... a relief. That you didn't make her feel bad, I guess.
So, question 7, why does he hide the truth from Eden? I doubt he suddenly gained an interest in progressing the trial without further interruption. He's also not doing this for Eden's sake; what Eden wanted to hear was that Arei walked out of that conversation still hoping to change for the better, which she did. Hearing that Arei still wanted to "be less shitty together" even after knowing David's a manipulative asshole would have made Eden very happy.
But David doesn't want to hurt Eden, either. If he did, he'd lie and tell Eden that he said something that made Arei run out crying and having lost all hope, or something. I also can't really think of anyone else who would have much of a reaction either way, since as bad as it sounds to say it, Eden's more or less the only person who was genuinely invested in Arei's progress. Maybe "the blackened," but if David doesn't know who the blackened is, there's no way he'd know how they'd react, so it's likely not because of that.
So, if David doesn't hide the truth for the sake of the trial, and he doesn't lie because of Eden, and he doesn't lie because of anyone else, then he's lying for his own sake. I believe that David is trying to hide how much he genuinely cared about Arei, and probably doesn't trust himself to be able to tell the story without giving the game away.
And to be clear, he did genuinely care about Arei. If his immediate reaction to her death doesn't convince you, his breakdown after hearing the Arturo-Eden-Arei story should.
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David [2-8]: Of course. Of course this would happen.
David [2-10]: If Eden and Arei really had that conversation, then it explains a lot. I had my doubts. A clearly suspicious note, asking her to meet alone and with no explanation as to why. During a *killing game* of all times. What kind of person would fall for such an obvious trap? You'd have to be shortsighted, naive, foolish, senseless, downright idiotic. ... Unless, of course, you were Arei. That girl wanted desperately to prove herself as a "friend" to Eden. And yet she completely lacked any experience with what "friends" were actually like. Of course it never occurred to her that handing out suspicious notes was not something that normal people did. What could she know about "friendship," after all? Someone like her, who had not once experienced kindness in her entire life up until now? Even if she had her misgivings about something so suspicious, she must have pushed it aside due to her unwavering faith in her blossoming friendship. A friendship that she didn't understand in the slightest. It's... It's so... Ahaha. It's just so foolish. For someone to take advantage of Arei like that. It's absolutely unforgivable. All she wanted was to change. What a reprehensible person this killer is. I look forward to seeing their painful execution.
(Do you think all this talk about "suspicious notes" is making him think of Xander with the suspicious note he received? Don't know, maybe :p)
Between David hiding the end of the conversation and the whole "Arei was a temporary weather spell" line, it seems he's really committing to the role of someone who doesn't care about Arei.
There are many reasons he could be doing this, but I believe he's just pulling a Teruko: Showing no vulnerability, because if he did, then maybe people would actually try to reach out to him. And then they'd get hurt like Xander and Arei; quote one of the Hamlet quotes in LGI (one of the eight lol): "I did love you once. You shouldn't have believed me." And/or David would need to confront how awful he is to try to change and better these new relationships.
Because it's a lot easier to be an irredeemable asshole who will never get better, than to confront the reality that he can, just that it's hard. Cue parallels with Arei and Teruko and Ace and you get the idea.
Final note, completely unrelated.
Whit [2-12]: Hey, hey, you could say those fish were a... red herring? David: Ugh! Goddamn it, Whit, does everything you say have to be made into some shitty dumb joke?! You're actually really fucking annoying! Shut the fuck up!!
Question 8: Why is David so pressed about Whit's jokes? At the moment, my only guess is that Whit's attitude of always remaining positive enough to crack jokes reminds David a bit too much of his "cheery" persona, which also is supposed to always remain optimistic in the face of adversity, and David either hates that because he hates himself, or because he's envious that Whit can hold that optimism without trouble (as far as David can see). I lean on it being a combination, where he does hate his "cheery" persona, but also wishes he could genuinely be like that, but it's very hard to tell atm.
Alright that took way too long. Can't wait for this all to be proven horribly wrong the next time we get any solid info on David!!!
Levi Fontana
Hey Levi sorry for calling you an accomplice for like a year are we still cool? :,D
Although Levi had a lower amount of Big Moments than David, I consider them more impactful to the chapter. And when you're talking Levi, you're talking 2-13 and 2-16. Let's start with the former.
Levi [2-13]: The secret that Arei received, "You're a murderer, and you hold no remorse...." That's my secret. [Cast reactions] If you were wondering, it's not in my legal records. The court struck it from the records. Ace: No shit! There's no way Hope's Peak would have scouted a murderer! Levi: Don't make the mistake of switching cause and effect.
Let's take our time with this one, it's a long speech. First, nice to see we called this secret, it's nice. Also, I'm not the first to point this out, but it's a neat bit of characterization for Levi to first talk about the legal side of his secret instead of anything more related to emotions; he only really cares about the effects things have in the present (that'll become explicit in a bit), so the first concern he thinks of are the legal repercussions.
Then, Hope's Peak... Hope's Peak why are you this shady. Between Rose's situation, the Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students, and now this, it's now three times they've specifically targeted people in vulnerable positions. Four if you count Teruko, but that would imply they rigged the lottery for the Lucky Student, which I would believe but we currently don't have evidence for. No wonder Xander has issues with them, they're cooking something weird.
Rose [1-4]: I'm sure Hope's Peak wants me to become some sort of appraiser or forgery detective with the skills that I have. Taking some offending youth and turning them into a productive member of society would be a pretty good look for them.
Unnamed Classmate [BE1]: Why would Hope's Peak announce [the UCES] 12 years before it would actually take place, when all the would-be contestants are just children? Min: Because they wanted the contest to hang over the heads of kids like me for 12 years, from childhood all the way into high school. They wanted to single out those who were obsessive enough to spend their entire lives preparing for this one test from childhood.
Unnamed Classmate [BE2]: If you set out to do something, then never give up on that, no matter what obstacles may stand in your way. Even if it's risky or against the rules, as long as it's for a good cause... I'll trust that you know to do the right thing. Xander: Yeah. Of course. That's why I've come to Hope's Peak, isn't it?
We currently have no clue where this is going, but I'm noting it for further reference. Let's pick off from where we left.
Charles [continued]: Care to explain yourself? Levi: At the time, I was confronted by three guys who tried to start a fight with me. I believe they were some old enemies. I killed their leader first, which may have been justifiable as self-defense, but then I tracked down his two remaining friends several days later and beat them to death. J: "Old enemies?" "Leader"?? Were you in the freakin' mafia or something? Levi: No. J: ... Levi: ... J: Are you not going to elaborate?? Levi: I don't particularly think I need to elaborate. After all, that happened in the past and has nothing to do with Arei.
One question this speech leaves us with is "why did Levi track down the other two after killing the leader?" We don't have enough info to tell for sure, but I assume it's a matter of safety? Like, Levi thought those two would try to attack him again if he left them alone, so he needed to make sure that didn't happen. I think that makes enough sense for me not to lose sleep at night over it, but of course I'm open to being wrong.
Also, this is the point where Levi's pure pragmatism becomes apparent. "It's not important right now, so why would I elaborate?" A philosophy which is born from his lack of empathy which will be discussed later. This pragmatism is probably why he's the one to argue that Eden was in an advantageous position to kill Arei; the logistics of murder come before emotional aspects in his mind, which is understandable.
Eden [continued]: Who... Who did you even kill? Levi: They were three guys... a few years older than me... Uh... I don't remember their names or who they were.
Do we think Levi knew their names at one point and forgot, or did he somehow track down two people without learning their names? I find the former more likely, just wanted to point that out.
Levi [continued]: I was a bit of a delinquent when I was younger, so they could have held a grudge against me for any reason. Maybe I smashed their windows and robbed them? Or, wait, maybe something to do with that car I blew up once? Rose: That's... kind of a lot to admit all of a sudden.
One thing I always enjoy is when the character who reacts to cut off a monologue has some kind of connection to the thing being discussed. Like, of course Rose is surprised at everything Levi is saying. She's out here being haunted by the crimes she committed, to the point where the debt she put her family in is her motive secret, and then this other guy has broken All the Laws and is just admitting it openly lol.
Levi [continued]: I've forgotten most of the details, as I haven't though much about it since I was cleared of my charges. Sorry, I can't really remember why that happened. Arturo: How could you forget something so important? You can't even be bothered to remember their names? Did you not care that you killed three people?
Speaking of matching reactions to character, Arturo "I feel unending guilt over the death of my sister who I did not even directly kill" Giles cannot conceive how someone else isn't haunted by the lives he took, more recap foiling at eleven.
Veronika [continued]: You say that your backstory and secret aren't relevant to this trial, but they are. That second part of your secret, that you "felt no remorse" for killing people... If you don't care about murder, then you'd have a much easier time killing than anyone else here. You may even be unbothered by the fact that passing the trial would mean everyone else's execution. After all, you seem completely detached while admitting not only to murdering 3 people, but to several other crimes as well. Almost as if you didn't care about any of this. At least not from a moral standpoint, that is. Levi: I won't deny it. That is indeed how I feel. Ace: You are one sick bastard. What could you possibly say in your defense.
This is the first big hint of Levi's low to non-existent empathy, but I'll wait until it's fully elaborated on to discuss it in depth. Also this hints to Ace business that will be discussed in his section. Why am I even writing here.
Levi [continued]: That incident happened when I was in my junior year of high school. My junior year was also the year that Hope's Peak scouted me as the Ultimate Personal Stylist. To my understanding, it would have reflected poorly on Hope's Peak to recruit a murderer, so they pressured the court into not pressing charges.
I do wonder now why Levi even started styling in the first place. By his own admission he's pretty new to it, though he's got at least a year or two of experience if he was scouted in junior year (I think? USA why can't you fucking number your grades like sensible people I don't know what "junior" means without firefoxing that shit). Maybe a job he picked up after disownment? Though that heavily depends on when and why he got disowned in the first place; was it because of his father's murder, the murder of the three dudes and the court case just took a while, or was it something else? Questions to mull over, but can't answer without further info.
Levi [continued]: Err... Hang on. Now that I've thought about it a little more, my motive secret may not be referring to those guys. It could also be referring to the time I murdered my father. J: Wait, you-- YOU WHAT?! Levi: It's quite difficult yo tell what these motive secrets truly mean because they're all phrased so vaguely... It's a bit of a bother. J: No, fuck that noise! Go back! The hell you mean, you fucking killed your dad? Levi: Correct. I simply forgot about it up until now. That would make four people in total that I've killed, not three, I think...? Arturo: How could you simply *forget* that you murdered your own family member? Nico: If you said you killed him because you just didn't like him, I could understand that. But you're saying you forgot about taking a life... Levi: It wasn't that important. Not even the police cared about a man like him, so nothing came out of it. I truly just forgot.
(why is everyone blue you're fucking up my color schemes-)
Back to the whole "appropriate reactors" thing, while I've already mentioned the Nico thing, I think it's cool J (the anti-murder spokesperson with a bad relationship with her mother) specifically says 'dad,' while Arturo generalizes to 'family member.' Someone's being reminded of his past~
I find this admission pretty funny for a few reasons, and very interesting for many others. Funny because my guy is complaining about the vagueness of the motives while admitting he killed his dad and not elaborating in the slightest. Interesting because... why did that happen? Levi doesn't respond to Nico's comment, so it seems like he didn't particularly dislike his father or anything? Especially in the context of the way he's talked about his family in the past.
Levi [responding to Eden, 2-1]: No, not at all. It's for the best that neither I nor my family see each other ever again. Eden: Eh? If you don't mind me asking, why? Levi: Why? My father, my mother, my brothers... We were all bad influences on each other. That's all that needs to be said.
I mean, Levi's father probably wasn't a shining beacon of hope or anything, given the police didn't even investigate his death, but like... lumping him in with the mother and the brothers, and just saying they were "bad influences" instead of, like, genuinely shitty people, it all makes it sound like there's no specific grudge against the father. Which makes sense, right? Even his father would feel like a stranger, as Levi will describe later. I really wish we get some elaboration on this, because I'm pretty curious about what kind of situation would lead Levi to this. I did try to check what's caused Levi to snap before, see if I could figure out what could have prompted it:
Ace [1-9]: What's the damn point of this whole trial if we're going to make choices based on dumb crap like that?? You useless shit-for-brains! Are you even taking any of this seriously?! Whit: Huh? Am I taking this seriously? Nah, not really. Ace: YOU--! Levi: Ace, calm down. You are not helping at all with this argument-- Ace: You shut your damn trap too, Levi!! I'm done with you trying to play the moral high ground by pretending to be some peacemaker! "Oh dear, oh my, calm down, everyone. Let's not fight, alright? Aren't I such a level-minded pacifist?" Stay the hell out of this if you know what's good for you. Levi: ... Ace: That's right. Shut your damn mouth, you coward-- Levi: Fuck. Off. Ace. How far do you want to push it? Do you think that I don't have a limit to my patience? I would gladly strangle you right here and now to shut you up if I were allowed. But if you're the coward I know you to be, then you should back up before you dig your own grave. So shut. Your mouth. Before I shut it for you.
Uh... Personal attacks against Levi? Yeah I have no idea what the hell his father could have done to prompt the murder. As usual, we're missing too much critical information to make a call on it. I'm gonna wager a guess that Levi didn't plan the murder, but rather it was an in the moment decision, but again I have no actual way to be sure.
Levi [continued]: Frankly speaking, I see no reason to remain hung up over some incident that is long past, especially as it ultimately had no impact on my life. Eden: You forgot about all of the things you did simply because you didn't face any consequences? That's incredibly selfish! Shouldn't you feel even a little bit bad? Those were human lives you took! I don't know what happened within your own family, so I can't pretend to understand why you killed. But even then, I'm sure those other people had families and friends who cried over their deaths!
Again the responders; remember how Eden feels guilty over both Min and Arei's death even though she never "faced any consequences" for them (mainly because she didn't actually do anything wrong but you get the idea)? Yeah that.
Levi [continued]: *sigh* I wonder if I should really tell you the truth, or if it's best to keep it to myself. I don't know how you all will see me after this. Teruko: You've already admitted to murdering 4 people. If you insist on not being completely honest with a secret this bad, then you're going to be the next one on the chopping block. Out with it.
Considering the stuff he says later, it's interesting to me that Levi seems to be more worried about revealing his lack of empathy than admitting to murder, especially with the knowledge that he's only doing this because he thinks being honest will make him "a good person."
However, I think it makes sense. Amongst the cast, there's already several people who either killed or tried to: Xander, Min, and Nico. But a lot of the others still speak of them in good terms; David talked about how good of a person Xander was for several minutes, Eden has made it clear she still misses Min, and Hu still defends Nico. Not to mention that Levi himself already threatened to kill Ace, and got called "a good person" by Eden just a few hours later. That means that, although admitting to murder will probably make the others more wary of him, there's precedent that Levi will still have people who stick by him after all's said and done.
Meanwhile, as far as Levi can tell, he's the only one who doesn't understand empathy in the slightest. And that means he has no way of telling how the others will feel about him if he reveals it, which is why he's more nervous about it than the murders. It plays on the themes of feeling disconnected from the rest of humanity that characters like Nico (via gender identity) and David-
Tally 5 Page: "... I wasn't capable of ever becoming human in the first place."
-have going on, which is definitely something that's cool to mull over. I hope these three get some kind of interaction about this in the future.
By the way, as always I'm just kinda guessing why Levi does the things he does and says the things he says, I could always be wrong.
Levi [continued]: It's not really that I don't care about killing people. Rather, it's more accurate to say that I don't care about people at all. No matter how much I hear about such things like empathy or compassion or love, none of those concepts resonate with me. Are those emotions really universal? The idea that people naturally "care" about others is a completely foreign concept to me. Nico: Eh? What are you saying? Levi: Judging by your reaction, I suppose that's a bad thing. But I wouldn't understand why. On the other side of this planet, there's a person who's suffering. Maybe they're even drawing their last breath. But none of you care, do you? Why would you? They're a stranger, after all. You don't know them. Their life holds no consequence for you. For me, everyone I've ever known is that distant stranger. It doesn't matter how long I've known you, how much we've done for each other, or even if you were my own father... You're still a stranger to me. And if tomorrow it turned out you all had passed away, I'd care as much as if we had never met.
So here's the big reveal, bolded text and all. Levi has extremely low empathy. I'm not gonna try to assign any specific disorder because I'd have no idea what I'd be talking about, but the empathy thing is pretty clear. I'm also no authority on whether this would be good representation for that or not, but for what it's worth, I think it's done pretty well. Levi's perspective is presented neutrally, in a way that shows his lack of empathy doesn't inherently make him a bad person, but not shying away from some of the real effects that can come from it (combined with other factors of course), such as the whole 4 murders situation.
I also like the way Levi describes it. It does a good job of getting the audience to understand his feelings, while still holding quite a bit of characterization in there. For example, the reason he gives for why the cast wouldn't care about the stranger on the other side of the world is because "their life holds no consequence to you." Even when trying to speak from the others' perspective, his understanding of why someone would care about someone else is still shaped entirely by what tangible effect that person has in the other's life, in a way sorting people by "holds consequence/holds no consequence."
Eden [continued]: But you're a good person. Why are you saying these things when it's clearly not true? You're so kind to everyone. You're always helping others out, even when it'd be easier not to. Like that time Ace almost died. You kept trying to help him, even if he always pushed you away. Isn't that what "a good person" does? Levi: In all honesty... I don't personally care what happens to Ace. Whether he lives or dies is none of my concern in the end. Ace: ...?! Levi: But it is a "good" thing to make sure someone else doesn't die, even if I personally do not care about the outcome. I truly believe that. But I adhere to that principle out of duty, not sentimentality. Does that make any sense?
So I'm gonna do a funny here and skip Ace's reaction to this, because that's more for the Ace section than this one. I also already talked about Eden's reaction to this.
Instead, I'll focus on Levi, particularly the question of "does Levi actually care about Ace?" To answer that, it'll be helpful to get the full Veronika Breakdown TM.
Veronika [continued]: Hm hm... I understand now. You're quite the interesting person, Levi. From what I've seen of you so far, your personality has been awfully inconsistent. It's like you don't know how to act. Trying to act like "a good person" without any intuitive sense of what's good or bad is hard, right? For someone like you, who lacks compassion, it must be quite difficult to pretend to be nice. You're always guessing as to what a normal human would do in your situation. You're so awkward in social settings because you can't tell what other people want. You act like a big pushover because if you go the other direction and stand up for yourself, you won't know where to stop. You offer to do things for others because you've observed that "good people" help others, and you parrot noble assurances without understanding why. Such things like that. Not only are you trying to act without a script, but you don't even understand the story. And you slip up constantly. Levi: You explained it better than I could. You really have an intuitive understanding of other people, Veronika. That's a trait I envy. The way I see it, it would be beneficial if I was "a good person." Then other people would trust me and not pick fights with me anymore, and they'd do things for me because they "liked" me. If I was a good person, then I wouldn't have to live a life full of violence anymore. I did everything so that I could have a better life.
Okay hold on there's a bunch to talk about here. Let me do that before circling back to the Ace Question.
Veronika is thankfully good enough at describing the stuff she said that I don't feel the need to elaborate on that. It's basically just a perfect read of Levi's actions so far under this new frame of someone who lacks empathy yet still is a good person. His awkwardness, his outbursts towards Ace, him being sort of a pushover, everything. I also like the little comment of Levi envying Vero's understanding of people, it's neat characterization.
Aside from that, there's also cool contrast between the way Levi sees being a good person as a sort of purely pragmatic social contract (being good leads to a peaceful life and ensures others help you) and Eden, which as referenced earlier sees friendship in a purely emotional and non-transactional way. Not exactly fully comparable, but close enough, and still worth mentioning given the chapter starts with a conversation between the two of them about how they're good people. Both of these have their merit, the point is that, in the end, no matter the reason you have for doing good things, regardless if it's out of sentimentality or just duty, doing good is enough to be a good person. While still of course keeping in mind Arei's message that no one is effortlessly good 100% of the time, and simply trying to be as good as you can be and improve on your flaws is enough.
Also, "I did everything so I could have a better life," huh?
Arturo [referring to Felicity's suicide, 2-10]: How is it possibly my fault that I wanted to live my own life!?
Get paralleled, idiot >:D
Wanting better things for yourself can end up having good effects on others (Levi being good to the cast), or negative (Felicity dying), fun contrast.
But I'm beating around the bush. The question I asked earlier, does Levi actually care about Ace?
Well, there's definitely room for interpretation, but my read is... well, not in the usual way. I mean, Levi explicitly says he doesn't particularly care if Ace lives or dies, so that's kind of a giveaway that he still very much does not feel empathy towards him. To better understand Levi's perspective, it might be helpful to analyze the previously mentioned Hu-Nico and Levi-Ace parallels.
Fandom has long since grouped together Hu and Levi as the "parental figures" of the group, and while I don't particularly enjoy applying familial relations to friendships, there's some basis for the interpretation. They both (to varying effect) commonly act as peacemakers and moderators in the context of the group, but have had this position compromised by emotional outbursts (Hu's defense of Nico and Levi's threats to Ace). Hell, there's even parallels in the way people react to some of these outbursts.
Levi [after the previously linked outburst, 1-9]: I'm terribly sorry for that, everyone. Please continue discussing as you were earlier. Ace: So scary!!
Rose [reacting to Hu's "fuck David" outburst, 2-12]: Wow. Hu can be scary.
To be fair the 2-12 outburst is far more justified than a lot of Hu's others, but you get the point.
They both act this way for similar reasons; to control the cast's perception of them. Hu wishes to be seen as reliable in order to feel useful as a way to counteract her suicidal tendencies and self-loathing, while Levi wishes to be seen as a good person for the reasons he states (to live a peaceful life where others do things for him). And in order to do this, they've both chosen to focus on one person in particular to "protect" or help in some way; Nico for Hu, Ace for Levi. The reasons for this are different mind you, but the effect is similar enough.
However, while it's still unclear why exactly Hu is so adamant about Nico in particular, we kind of know why Levi is focused on Ace. Simply put, before the second trial, Ace was sort of the only person who had legitimate reasons to dislike Levi, at least in Levi's mind. Because of the death threat in trial one of course. Most people haven't really expressed an opinion on Levi either way, but they're civil and at least neutral towards him. Hell, Eden even specifically says Levi's a good person after the death threat, and since she's a pretty rational person, it follows most of the cast would see him that way as well, given how quickly they all moved on from the death threat.
Ace was the exception, however. Ace was very explicitly (and understandably) pissed at Levi for the death threat, so he stood as somewhat of a threat to Levi's goal of being seen as a "good person." Levi trying to fix things with Ace is an extension of this goal, and I don't think there's much else to it. Even to the very end, Levi's frustration at Ace doesn't come from a sense of betrayal or sadness or remorse for not being able to stop the murder, or anything like that. Levi only gets frustrated at his inability to understand Ace, which we already knew from his envy of Veronika's psychoanalysis abilities is a point of insecurity for him.
Ace [2-16]: I just needed a reason to stay mad at you, any reason at all, goddamnit! [sic] Levi: Why? Why do you have to force yourself to be angry at me? You just said you know that you're in the wrong, so why do you still do it?! I don't understand. I can't understand you, no matter how hard I try.
Levi, under this reading, still doesn't "care" that Ace is about to die, not in the way Eden felt bad about Min's death for example. He's frustrated that he's trying to be a good person towards Ace, and it isn't working for reasons he can't grasp. More on those reasons in the Ace section.
I am very curious as to how he'll react to Ace wanting to speed up his execution to try and save his life, and I predict Levi will probably try his best to honor Ace's memory and his sacrifice, but as always, out of duty and not sentimentality. Sorry Acevi fans, hope you still find a way to make it work :/
Since we're on the topic (and Ace's section is gonna be long enough as is), I'll talk about the other side of the Hu-Nico and Levi-Ace parallels, the way the "protected" act in respects to the "protectors." The main point of contrast is that, originally, Ace specifically sought out Levi for protection, while Nico never asked Hu for it.
Teruko [1-2]: Since when were you two so friendly? I distinctly recall yesterday a certain someone being terrified whenever Levi came near him. Ace: Whaaaat? Me, scared? Are you just making things up? Teruko: ... Ace: Okay, fine. Yeah, Levi's scary as hell! But I realized that MonoTV is even scarier than Levi! At least Levi is sorta safe to be around. And I like to be safe, you know?
Nico [to Hu, 2-14]: I never asked you to defend me--
Then comes the aspect of "betrayal" in both these relationships, where the roles are flipped. It's Levi who originally "betrays" Ace by threatening him, while it's Nico who "betrays" Hu by trying to frame her with the wire. However, Ace takes this betrayal much more personally than Hu, getting mad at Levi while Hu continues to defend Nico. As a result, Ace gets a bit of a victim complex, while Nico fully acknowledges blame for the murder attempt. Etc.
Okay time to continue with 2-13 because no we're not done with it.
Levi [continued]: After listening to David, I concluded that a good person would also be honest, even if the truth makes them look bad. Ace: You're taking advice from David of all people? Look at this asshole! David: Try looking in a mirror before you talk, Ace. Levi: I thought David was a prime example of a good person. Is he not? David: Wow, you really don't understand people at all, do you. Levi: I don't want to distract you all from this case any further. So, I apologize for this tangent.
Another really cool bit of characterization here. Levi struggles so much with understanding most people's sense of morality that he still thinks David "I actively tried to kill everyone here by pretending to be the blackened" Chiem is a good person. There's also the quick implication that David doesn't see himself as a good person, but I feel we're well past the point where that's news.
We also get the reason why Levi even said all this; he thinks being honest will help him be a good person, and presumably only brought it up after the whole David thing got resolved because "good person" David was (eventually) honest with both his motive secret and the reason he tried to get voted out. Or, rather, Levi thinks David was honest on the latter. Fair ig.
Levi has a few other lines in this part, but the next most striking thing to talk about is, fittingly, not a set of words, but an image.
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Levi's protective streak has always been a big part of his character, and now he's literally taken a bullet (or 5) for Teruko. Just for the record, I imagine he'll survive, because there'd be no real point to most of the end of 2-16 if he didn't.
The big question around this is, naturally, why did Levi jump in? Obviously, it's not that he particularly cares if Teruko lives or dies, not from an emotional standpoint anyways. It could also just be Teruko's luck somehow manipulating him the way it seems to have influenced Min somewhat, but I can't see that as the only reason this happened. So, like most people, I believe he feels he owes Teruko.
Teruko [1-2]: No... I should be the one apologizing. It's my fault you got hurt. Levi: What do you mean? Without your warning, I could have gotten fatally injured. I should thank you that my wound is not more severe.
Teruko warning him in the prologue is the most obvious case where Teruko saved Levi, especially since it parallels this scene. Teruko saves Levi from execution, so he returns the favor. However, we also need to keep in mind that, without Teruko carrying, these people would not have made it through the trials, so Levi might feel he owes her for that too. And "good people" repay their debts, don't they?
Very interested in seeing where Levi's character goes from here!
Teruko Tawaki
You know a series is doing something right when the protag has so much shit going on in a trial where she didn't even have strong relationships with either the victim or the killer. Now, a big chunk of her screen time was devoted to crime solving, so her section might end up smaller than Levi's even though I consider her more important, but the order of this analysis is kinda all over the place anyways :v
I'll go in the order of Teruko moments as they appeared, though I'll skip the whole "fix my mistake" thing since I already mentioned it in the Min section.
David [2-12]: Xander is a good person. He's the only good person I've ever known. I swear, I'll follow in his footsteps and-- Teruko: And get everyone killed in the class trial? Xander is a good person? Are you hearing yourself right now? What virtuous reason could he possibly have for trying to kill me and everyone else here? David: I'm sure he had a good reason. I believe that he did. Xander is not the kind of person to do anything for frivolous purposes. Teruko: You *believe* that he had a good reason!? Hah! Based on what? The 3 days you spent with a fan who was too infatuated with the ideal of you to treat you like an actual human-- David: SHUT UP!
She says all this like she wasn't play-acting her Xanruko fix-it AU with cacti, like, two days ago lol.
Teruko Cactus [2-3]: That's right. Give up now, and surrender. Then I'll consider letting you live. Xander Plant: Teruko... I've changed my mind. I promise, I will turn my back on whoever made me do this and stay by your side from now on. Do you forgive me?
I don't actually have much to say about this. Teruko's complicated feelings about Xander aren't exactly news; genuinely angry at him for attempting to murder her, also genuinely upset that things didn't go better. No wonder David's uncritical view of the guy ticked her off.
2-13 had a lot of murder solving from Teruko, which is cool but not crucial for character analysis. Meanwhile, 2-14 had quite a bit more going on.
Rose [2-14]: I... I'm sorry for being useless. Maybe if I tried harder, if I just got over myself-- Teruko: Rose. Don't blame yourself anymore. You are helpful. It's because of you that I can solve this murder. Besides... I'm as much to blame as you. Maybe more, even. If only I listened to you when you said the tape was missing, then maybe I would have realized the truth of this case much earlier. Once again, I've made a stupid mistake. I simply wanted to believe that I could make it through this killing game without relying on anyone else. That I could be dismissive of everyone around me without consequences. So I refused to listen to anyone other than myself. I thought that if I did that, then I could avoid a repeat of the last trial, where I had made the mistake of trusting people too much. But now I'm making different mistakes instead. Again and again, I keep messing up this class trial with hasty assumptions and overlooked evidence. So... Rose: ... Teruko: ... Thank you, Rose.
Yuri stays winning.
Again, it's hard for me to add any commentary when Teruko's just... explaining all the themes out loud. We go back to the idea of Teruko fixing mistakes that she seems to have taken to heart from Min's CH1 breakdown (YURI STAYS WINNING), which ties into the idea of self-betterment that Arei's scene conveyed; and we basically have Teruko stating a reworded version of her secret quote, "It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all." It makes me wonder how Teruko will behave moving forward. Will she trust a few select people? Will she continue to keep other's at arm's length, but being slightly more open? Well, based on what she does with Eden, it seems Teruko is willing to trust select people until the situation merits distrust, which is a pretty solid way of looking at things.
Speaking of that.
Eden [2-14]: I just wanted to help Arei... I didn't kill her... Teruko: You know I can't just take your words at face value, Eden. Eden: Please, Teruko... You're my friend, aren't you? Friends help each other... So please, help me... [...] Teruko: Eden. Eden: *sniffing* Teruko: Eden. Pick up your head. Look at me. At this point in the trial, since I've narrowed Arei's killer down to just two suspects, I'm going to pursue each suspect individually under the assumption that they're the killer. That way, I can see if any evidence matches up to them only. [...] So for now, I'm going to assume you're innocent. Eden: W-What? Really? Thank you so much, Teruko... Teruko: Don't... get me wrong. This isn't out of kindness or pity or anything else. This is only because you helped me in the last trial. I'm repaying your favor, and nothing else. That's why I'll trust you, just this once. Eden: Teruko... T... Thank you, Teruko... Teruko: ... Let go of me.
YURI STAYS WINNING!!!
That's what I was talking about. Choosing to trust Eden over Ace, but being willing to turn suspicion on the Clockmaker if Ace turns out innocent. A very reasonable approach! We love character development in this house.
That said, Teruko is still being a bit of a tsundere, with the whole "repaying a favor" thing. Levi parallels anyone? Well, not exactly, since Teruko does feel empathy towards Eden, but close enough. What's more interesting is that Teruko is using the exact transactional logic that Eden warned her against, which is intriguing setup for the future when it becomes more undeniable that Teruko is definitely not doing this just to repay a favor.
Also, the Trauma remains. Teruko telling Eden to let go fully completes the parallel to the Min scene, where she says the same thing (among others). I imagine our girl won't be too receptive of hugs for a while.
Before we get to the next big moment, real quick, we gotta fulfill our "Teruko's life is miserable" quota.
Teruko [to Ace, 2-15]: And three. You took the tape for first aid. Arturo: That's ridiculous. Who uses non-medical tape for first aid? That's sickening. Teruko: It's not that weird. I do it all the time.
Alright quota fulfilled. Let's move on. In this case, I'll skip to when Teruko gives up on the "show me your injuries Ace" line of reasoning.
Teruko [2-15]: No. It's fine. That's not a very fair line of logic, so forget it. You were almost murdered, after all. I should have understood that.
I don't know why Teruko really thought this line of logic was even worth following in the first place, but it makes sense for her character to ignore Ace's possible emotions in favor of the trial. But it's also cool to see her backing down when she realizes the harm she may be causing, especially as someone who has very notably hid how much her own murder attempt affected her, and in particular the wound that came from it.
Teruko [2-15]: The point of this trial is to determine who the killer is, not to determine every single little detail of what happened. It doesn't matter that you're not convinced. It's not going to help you, nor change your fate. No matter how you feel or what you think, nothing will change. [...] I've been fighting this entire trial to find the truth using real evidence. And when I make mistakes, I own up to them. What have you contributed? Show me some concrete proof of your innocence. Otherwise, shut up and stop wasting everyone's time. Ace: ... Teruko: Are you silent now? What happened to all those things you were shouting earlier? Don't you have anything to say for yourself? Ace: ... Teruko: Any evidence, any deductions to show that you're innocent? Come on, Ace! Don't you want to live?! Defend yourself!
So, a few things. First, regarding that second paragraph. "It's not going to change your fate"? "Nothing will change"? We'll circle back to it, but it seems Teruko is projecting how she feels about her own fate (before the Levi incident at least) on Ace. You could even say-
Literature Girl Insane: Even if we cry make noise shout go mad - this world won't change!
The foils ever.
Anyways, I assume that's why Teruko gets so worked up over Ace remaining silent. She sees a bit of her situation in trial 1 (almost murdered, suspected as the killer) in Ace, so her emotions run high with both the frustration of a long trial and the bad memories this is probably bringing up. At least, that's how I interpret it.
Also another mention of correcting mistakes, which shows up one more time before the episode ends, which I already mentioned as being tied back to Min and Arei; alongside with another "fate" drop. "Fate" is becoming the new "good person" isn't it :p
Teruko [2-15]: Confront the mistakes you've made. Then accept death. That's the fate of everyone who choose [sic] to participate in this killing game.
Also I find it endlessly funny that Teruko's reasoning for the Closing Argument being necessary reads a lot like "this is a DR trial we gotta do this, it's in the contract." Consider me amused.
But I've beaten around the fate bush enough. Let's get all of that over with in one fell swoop.
Teruko [2-16]: It's just... misfortune. That's why Ace killed. That's all.
Teruko [regarding her execution, 2-16]: What's the point [of running]? I should have known this would happen. [...] Even if I shield myself behind others, even if I search for an escape, it always comes down to this. I have to face the consequences of my actions. There's no escaping that. [...] Arturo: What are you talking about?? You're going to be killed!! Teruko: Killed? I doubt it. As if something so kind could happen to me. [...] I won't die, even if MonoTV puts a hundred bullets in my body. I'll only be badly injured. Possibly lose a body part. Maybe I'll even end up in a coma for months. [...] But I won't die. I never will. There's nothing I can do but accept my fate. It's what I deserve, after all. [...] I was perfectly willing to get shot. I thought I didn't have to care about what happened to other people, and especially not about what happened to me. I thought that if I lived alone and died alone, nothing would stain my conscience. Even if that was a selfish way to live. But even so...
Teruko [to MonoTV, 2-16]: Can you really say it's fate's fault for everything you've done, and pretend that you hold no blame in the matter? I have always said that my misfortune, my personality, the choices I make, everything was all a product of a bad luck that I can't control. That I grew up in such terrible circumstances, so I was destined to grow up to be a terrible person. That everyone else abandoned me, so it's not my fault that I'm alone. I want to say it's fate's fault, and that I had no choice in the matter. But, even so... Even so... Everyone. Xander, Min, Arei, Ace. Maybe even Levi. Is it my fault that they died? [...] MonoTV: You have to decide the answer for yourself. Teruko: Whether it was the fault of fate, or my fault... I already knew the answer. I had known what the answer was since a long, long time ago.
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Alright I made myself sad, so something's been achieved, I guess. Poor Teruko :(
Just to start somewhere, we get confirmation of Teruko's suicidal tendencies in the present, which was already implied strongly enough, but now she straight up says she considers death something "kind to her." Just sad in general, but I wonder if there will be some discussions of it with the fellow suicidal characters like Hu. In fact, I wonder if that's the reason that Hu was the one to see the scar on Teruko's back during 2-2; so she'd have a vague idea of Teruko's backstory for some interaction in the future.
But the main point of these scenes is Teruko's relationship with the concept of fate. She basically goes through an entire character arc from the moment she says Ace's murder was just misfortune to right after Levi jumps in to save her. Basically, she used to blame fate (or "bad luck") for everything she did and what happened to her, thinking that just accepting this fate would allow her to live more easily. Especially noticeable because part of her "bad luck" is being betrayed, which gives way to her trust issues.
Teruko [2-2]: If I get in a car, it'll crash. If I stand in a construction site, it'll crumble to dust. If I trust others, they'll turn their back on me.
Hence her internal monologue about "living so nothing stains my conscience." If everything that happens to her is fate's fault, then she doesn't have to change, she doesn't have to confront her faults. Even when she talked about accepting the consequences for her actions, it was always in the context of accepting her fate. If she just accepts whatever consequences her actions bring, then she can excuse herself from fighting back against that, which is an easier way to live, but as she says, could be considered selfish. What's easier for Teruko is not always best for others, exemplified perfectly by Levi protecting her; Teruko chose not to fight her fate, and it got Levi hurt. Funnily enough, this somewhat parallels Hu feeling selfish for not sharing her secret, which is fun contrast. Hu is more justified in not sharing her secret, so it shows that feeling selfish for doing things that are good for you can be pretty bad. Meanwhile, Teruko shows that not taking others into account can also end up hurting people.
Of course, the whole "not fighting fate" thing also obviously parallels Mr Literature Boy Insane's feelings on the whole thing, to the point where they have practically the same character flaw. Believing themselves and others unable to change as a result of fate is the way they try living with themselves, because of the whole self-loathing thing, but that means they're resistant to changing their flaws. MonoTV says similar things, but it's a machine so it's not so much a flaw as just the nature of its character. It was a flaw Arei had, though, but she grew out of it through Character Development, similarly to the way it's implied Teruko is growing out of the "all fate's fault" mindset in the last inner monologue. You might also notice that tying fate into self-betterment allows you to draw a connection to the theme of admitting mistakes and fixing them, tying to Min who is also connected to the concept of fate through her entire backstory of being "destined" to be the Ultimate Student from the moment her family accepted XF-Ture's Tech contract, and obviously Min contrasts Xander who is all about fighting fate as the Ultimate Rebel, and that's without mentioning all the other "fate" bullshit going on and-
Yeah you get the idea. Too much peak for me to write it all out.
Very excited to see where Teruko's character goes now that she's not going to blame her bad luck for everything now. I worry she'll swing too hard the other way and end up blaming herself for things she shouldn't, but oh well, that's just more character development to be had.
That was the biggest Teruko thing, but there's still more to cover.
Teruko [to Ace, 2-16]: If you can't [attack MonoTV]... If you can't do that, then tell me, why did Arei have to die?! Ace: ... Teruko: It's because unlike Arei, *you* couldn't make amends with the people you made enemies out of. *You* were too scared to confront the people you hurt, say you're sorry, and promise to be a better person. So instead you took out your own personal problems on other people by murdering someone who had nothing to do with you! Arei died because you're a coward, Ace!
Uh... someone's projecting~
Teruko [already linked, 2-2]: But if you start talking about me and saying that I could be a good person if only I make an attempt to change, then I'm going to stop you right there. Don't say that I could be a good person, because all it'll do is make me feel bad that I'm not.
Damn it's almost like she hates herself because she already knows deep down that her mindset is flawed and so when she sees someone else behaving like she does/did she gets upset at them that's crazy :O
(I mean it's not 1:1 because Teruko never did anything as bad as Ace, but the point stands :v)
Final note, as always, voice acting was peak, just that there's too many good examples to point them all out one by one. Same with Levi btw, I think I forgot to mention it in his section.
Teruko continues to be probably my favorite protag of any DR or DR inspired story, though as always I'm working on a small sample size. Really excited to see her development in the future!
Ace Markey
Well if it isn't the man of the hour! It's only natural the blackened gets to close things out. Let's do the same thing as we did with Teruko and go by (mostly) chronological order.
That includes the quick, retrospective observation that a lot of Ace's behavior in the trial and investigation now needs to be re-analyzed with the understanding he's the blackened. It mostly just adds an extra layer to Ace's constant accusations towards Nico, though, since Ace didn't really do much most of the trial. The only other notable thing he did was revealing David's secret, and even then, nothing too big. I know it's a bit silly to go so hard on Nico when David is almost easier to frame, but this is Ace we're talking about. He's emotional and not quite the most strategic, so nothing weird there.
Although, speaking of Ace knowing about David's secret, why did he not hear the end of the Arei-David conversation? I doubt he's hiding it, because he doesn't really have a reason to, so apparently he just, like, left. I guess he just didn't care enough :p
Finally getting to PT 2 itself, we have a 2-13 speech we skipped earlier, don't we?
Levi [2-13]: I don't personally care what happens to Ace. Whether he lives or dies is none of my concern in the end. Ace: ...?! Levi: But it is a "good" thing to make sure someone else doesn't die, even if I personally do not care about the outcome. I truly believe that. But I adhere to that principle out of duty, not sentimentality. Does that make any sense? Ace: You... Hah. Hahaha. You-- You fucking piece of shit. Levi: ... Ace: I was right all along. That you felt bad for me... That you actually wanted to help me... That even if everyone here treated me like shit, there was at least one person who still cared about me... That shit's too good to be true, isn't it? Yeah, good thing I didn't fall for that in the slightest. Not one bit. I was totally right all along to burn our friendship-- No, I can't even call it "friendship." There's only one person in my whole life who I've ever been able to call my friend. That I ever thought, even for just a short time, that you and I were "friends" is an insult to his memory. I probably sound real pathetic admitting that. But I'm not nearly as pathetic as you. After all, you're a piece of trash who probably has never had a single friend in your life. Levi: ... Ace: Got nothing to say to me now? That's fine. Hey, Levi. I really hope you fucking die.
Okay there is... so much to unpack there. Let's... start by the smaller thing, which is the Taylor Riley drop in "there's only one person in my whole life who I've ever been able to call my friend." This guy's name was revealed in a now deleted CH2 PT1 QnA answer, alongside with the name of a friend of Veronika's who gave her her green triangle earring, Alyssa Belyaeva. We got main series confirmation of the name in one of the graves of Thanatophobia, alongside the names of Elliot Cuevas and Felicity Giles.
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We know... zero about Taylor, apart from the fact that he was Ace's friend and is now very evidently dead. Thankfully, we get a bit more context on his death by one of Ace's comments:
Ace [2-16]: Execute me right now, you hear me, MonoTV? MonoTV: ... Ace: Because... Because Levi is gonna fucking die, and I'm going to have a third goddamn death on my hands!
Third, huh? Arei, the hypothetical Levi death, and presumably Taylor. Sure, the third could be Ace himself, but I feel the line makes a bit more sense with Taylor.
So, Ace blames himself for the death of Taylor. Given he liked the guy, probably not intentional murder, but who knows what the hell he did. At this point, we really have no way to deduce the way Taylor died or how Ace could have caused it somehow, though. Maybe we'll get some answers in the Bonus Episode? Hopefully :p
But that's the easy part. The hard part is Ace's feelings towards Levi. Immediately, we can tell the whole "I never thought you cared about me, not one bit" thing is a complete lie, not just because the line itself is extremely unconvincing, but because of something Ace says later in this episode.
Ace [to Levi, 2-13]: You piece of shit. I can't believe there used to be a time I actually liked you.
So, yeah. Similarly, based on the fact that Ace wanted MonoTV to speed up the execution to try and save Levi's life despite his fear of death, we can infer that Ace is also lying when he tells Levi "I really hope you fucking die."
No, Ace really does care about Levi. For the reason stated at... some point in this analysis; Ace feels safer around Levi. And that creates a bit of a problem for him, because if he wants to escape the killing game, he's gonna have to kill Levi to do it. It's unclear if that's the reason he originally pushed Levi away, "burning their friendship to the ground" in his words, or if he just didn't want to trust him after the death threat in trial 1. However, guilt over trying to get Levi killed is definitely part of why he says this:
Ace [2-16]: I knew... I knew that I wasn't allowed to call [Levi] a murderer. I had no right to act betrayed, because I was the one who betrayed everyone. But still, I...! Levi: Why-- Ace: But still, I--! I don't care what it was! I don't care if it made me a hypocrite! Even if I was completely in the wrong, and even if it made my life worse! I just needed a reason to stay mad at you, any reason at all, goddamnit! Levi: Why? Why do you have to force yourself to be angry at me? You just said you know that you're in the wrong, so why do you still do it?! I don't understand. I can't understand you, no matter how hard I try. Ace: Good! Stay that way! I hope you never understand me, even after I'm buried a billion miles deep in the ground and you're weeping at my grave, you piece of shit!
Ace tries very hard to find reasons to hate Levi because he's afraid of growing close to anyone in the killing game, mostly because he thinks he'll be betrayed, but by the point he starts plotting murder, also because he's trying to kill them all. Being close to them is a good way to feel more horrible about himself than he already does.
To be clear, the reason I say the first reason is more important is because I think I can more or less pinpoint the moment Ace starts thinking about murder, and by that point he's already trying to cut Levi off.
Ace [2-2]: In this killing game, everyone is out to get me. Especially people who love picking fights with me, people like you [Teruko] and Levi. I can't believe I wasted my time with all that dumb shit like arm wrestling and running around screaming at meaningless stuff. I was fucking stupid to not take this killing game seriously from the start. I'm done with being everyone's kickable scaredy cat. The only thing I should do is look out for myself and myself alone.
Well he sure did take the killing game seriously after this point now didn't he?
Obviously, this is a pretty direct parallel to the way Teruko tried pushing everyone away in this chapter, and the way David pretends not to care about Arei after the magical girl transformation. More on this whole thing in a bit.
The relationship between Levi and Ace is one of contrast. Levi, who doesn't actually care about Ace the "usual way", chooses to try to get closer to him. Meanwhile, Ace cares about Levi maybe too much, and his fear of this attachment drives him to push Levi away. The yaoi truly is doomed with this one. Moving on.
Ace [to Nico and Hu, 2-14]: You two are a real fucking joke. It would have been one thing if Nico gets away scot-free with trying to kill me, but now they apparently also have a fucking defense brigade to shield them from even having to think about the fact that they're a murderer. Who's gonna stick up for me, huh? No one. Because I have a spine and I don't need other people to lie to me constantly to keep me happy.
Ace [to Nico, 2-14]: You tried to murder me. You fucking tried to murder me! And after all's said and done, you can't even say something as simple as "sorry"?!
Ace [to Teruko, 2-15]: Were you convinced by Eden because she had a little sob story ready? Should I start crying and wailing too to change your mind? Teruko-- No, everyone here. You're always attacking me for stupid reasons. Everyone always has it out for me. That pisses me off. All of you piss me off.
Ace [2-15]: You all actually think I'm too goddamn stupid to accomplish anything? Do you really think I'm 2 seconds away from choking on my own spit and passing out?
This is where we start to see Ace's persecution complex on this part, which was already alluded to in the previously linked 2-2 Ace quote. He thinks everyone is out to get him, and to an extent, he's not horribly wrong. Very few people in the cast have favorable opinions on Ace, and he knows that if he gets revealed as a murderer, that "few people" will likely turn to "no one." I mean, not even Levi wants to defend him.
Ace [2-15]: Hah... I expected everyone else to get on my ass, but for you of all people to think I'm the murderer... What happened to ever wanting to make things up, huh? Besides, between you and me, we both know who's really a murderer.
And hell, Nico's already tried to kill him! Ace is the victim in that situation, even if he did "start it."
Which gets us to one of the most interesting moral quandaries this trial presents us with, Milgram style. Because the thing is, Ace has given the cast reasons to dislike him. Ever since the start, he's been confrontational, insulting, and just generally not the most delightful person to be around. Especially to Nico, who he specifically targeted to bully. Obviously it doesn't justify being horrible to him back, including things like Hu's slap and Levi's death threat, and especially Nico's murder attempt, but... well, if people don't feel about Ace the same way they feel about some of the calmer cast members, there's a reason for it.
How justified is the cast in the things they say about Ace? How much of it is Ace's responsibility, and how much is it the cast's? How much responsibility do they hold for creating the hostile environment that pushed Ace into murder? How does the mastermind and the killing game itself factor into this valuation? These are all interesting questions the series asks us to ponder on, and by their nature don't have any one right answer. Especially because "blame for a thing that happened" isn't a number that can be evenly divided by percentage, it's a very complicated and subjective thing. J puts it pretty well in her speech to Ace in 2-15, giving her perspective as well.
J [2-15]: Maybe I was too harsh on you. Me and everyone else here, I don't think a single one of us stopped to think where the breaking point is. ...But. Murder is unacceptable, no matter what. Your problems might be awful, and they might be the worst in the world, but they're still not so bad that killing 13 people is acceptable. You can't be forgiven as a murderer just because your life sucks.
My personal opinions on this are probably best saved for when we get the full picture in just a moment.
And speaking of the full picture, since Ace's persecution complex feeds into his fear of death, why don't we skip right into the big speech?
Ace [already linked in the Hu section, 2-15]: ...... God damn it. I'm such a piece of shit. [...] You're right. I'm screwed. There's no way I'm making it out of this trial alive. I just... wanted to stall for time. I'm scared of dying, I really am. [...] I killed Arei. That's exactly right. Shit, it sounds really bad when I say it out loud. [...] Hu: Did you kill Arei because of MonoTV's motive? Because you wanted to keep your 'secret' hidden-- Ace: Hell no! I don't give a damn about that motive, or my dumb little secret, you idiot fuckwad! Who do you think I am, you?! *sigh* That wasn't why I killed her. I was scared of dying, that's all. [...]
Quick thing, but I think it's cool that the motive really had jack shit to do with the murder. Hate to bring the guy up so much, but it helps make David's "plan" of revealing all the secrets unequivocally wrong, which I feel is important for some of the themes of the chapter. In particular, the idea that gets pushed that everyone should be allowed to reveal their secrets at their own time, aka privacy is important. Nico's public secret reveal happened before they were ready to share, and that was a bad thing, after all. And a lot of the conflict in this chapter came from MonoTV giving the motives in general.
Ace [continued]: I'm definitely going to die in this killing game if I don't escape. Everyone hates me, right? Because I'm a volatile asshole who can't help but pick fights and make people mad at me. Veronika was right. If pushed to kill, everyone would feel the least guilt if they killed me. They might even have some sort of grudge. I wouldn't be surprised. When Nico tried to kill me, that just confirmed it. There's a part of me that's a little pissed that Nico didn't succeed back then, because that would have saved me the trouble of having to go through this stupid-ass farce. Although I'd be real fuckin' pissed if they *did* successfully kill me. I'm kind of pissed at Nico for trying to kill me, either way. Nico: ...
Interesting to hear part of Ace wanted Nico to succeed. It certainly speaks to a great level of defeatism, where everything is horrible and death would be preferable, which parallels Teruko nicely. That defeatism for Ace comes partly from the persecution complex discussed earlier, and some other stuff we'll talk about in a moment.
Ace [continued]: But still! If I didn't kill someone and escape... then I was going to die. I'm fucking terrified of dying! I can't sleep at night because I keep thinking about how I'm going to die young in this goddamn killing game! I didn't want to die! I want to live. Just like everyone else. Live, and escape this killing game, and go back to my shitty life where I can't do anything on my own because I can't control myself. Back to that life where I can't do anything but a sport that I hate because I suck shit at everything else. I was forced into that fate, to kill someone because I'm scared. It was either that, or I would be killed first. There were no other options for me, because I'm a coward who can't fight my own fate. [...]
I think an underrated part of Ace's character is just how much damn symbolism is hidden in his talent.
The first connection is the more or less obvious "if I didn't kill someone, I would be killed first" mentality, where Ace literally views the killing game as a race to be the first blackened to get away with it. But that's almost an extension of the other connection.
You hear it from him here; he feels he completely lacks control of his life, that it's all decided by a fate he can't control, the same way that a jockey doesn't walk on their own, but rather is carried by a horse to their destination. And it's no wonder that this feeling of lacking control is referenced in his secret quote, "I don’t know what to do with myself anymore." After all, it's this feeling of lacking control of himself and his situation that causes him to seek control of anything he can, be it bullying Nico because he sees them as an easy target, distancing himself from others because it's easier to control his feelings that way, killing someone because it's the only way he can control his place in the killing game, or anything else I might be forgetting.
And this fear of lacking control is probably part of his fear of death, isn't it? Because no one can control what happens after death. Maybe yes, maybe not, but regardless, Ace's thanatophobia is pretty evident. I mean, it's the name of his execution, and it's a fitting one. Ultimately, Ace's fear of death is what gets him killed, both metaphorically because it's the reason he became a blackened, and literally because he dies of a fear-induced cardiac arrest. That, alongside with the incredible art and banger music, is why I consider Thanatophobia one of, if not the single best DR style execution I've ever seen. Simply peak.
Ace [continued]: Do you think I give a crap about you all? Why would that matter to me? No one gives a crap about me either! None of you even respect me enough to think I was capable of killing Arei! In fact, that made me feel way less guilty about killing-- [J makes her anti-murder speech] Ace: ... I know that [I can't be forgiven]. I'm the one who murdered Arei, so of course I know that. Arei... She was a piece of shit too. Just like me. Even if she said all that nice bullshit to Eden, there was no guarantee that she really was going to change and become a good person. Maybe if she lived, then by tomorrow she'd be right back to her annoying bitchy self. ... But at least she was trying. And I can't even change one thing about myself. Not my shitty job, not my shitty personality, nor my shitty life. I really am a piece of shit, huh?
At the end of the day, Ace is his own worst enemy. What really gets Ace killed (apart from the already mentioned fear of death) is the inability to change, to see the flaws in the way he behaves himself and try to better himself. Or, rather, he does see the flaws, he knows he's a target of the killing game because of his aggressiveness and that he drove himself into a corner out of fear, but he considers himself incapable of changing that. Changing is difficult, and Ace is scared to even try. Like he says, maybe Arei couldn't have managed it either, but she was trying. And that's what ultimately separates the two.
In case it isn't obvious, my take on who's to blame for everything that happened is pretty much squarely on Ace. Sure, there were things the others did to Ace which aren't justified, but you can't blame people for disliking someone that knows he's unlikable and cannot find it in himself to try to change that. Arei tried to change; she died a good person. Levi tried to make amends for trial 1; he's a good person too. The tragedy of the situation is that Ace himself could have been a good person too, because everyone can be, but it's a decision that must be made, as Eden put it earlier in the chapter. And it's a difficult one, too difficult for Ace.
Teruko, David, all these people... they can also be "good people," in the sense of always trying to be "less shitty together" in Arei's words. Ace is a cautionary tale of how not doing so can end up really, really badly.
Which is the setup for Teruko and David's continued foiling, isn't it? Teruko will presumably look at all of Ace's flaws (lack of trust, unwillingness to change, accepting fate without fighting it) as pitfalls to avoid, because of how similar the two of them acted in CH2. Meanwhile, David, since he heard Arei's speech and knows just how hard she tried to change, will see those same flaws as strengths. In his eyes, Arei died because she trusted the note, because she tried to change, because she tried to defy her nature. At least, that's my prediction. Where all of that will go is anyone's guess.
But, how do we know that Ace could have been a good person? How do we know that it isn't David who is right, that neither Ace nor Arei could have ever gotten better, had they simply tried? Well, simply put, because in the end, Ace does start changing. As a final, tragic note, Ace's ability to confront fate and try to correct his flaws only surfaces when it's far too late. And not only when he punches MonoTV, though that also is a good example of it, but also when he chooses to face execution quicker in an attempt to save Levi.
Ace [already linked, 2-16]: Execute me right now, you hear me, MonoTV? MonoTV: ... Ace: Because... Because Levi is gonna fucking die, and I'm going to have a third goddamn death on my hands! Arturo: E-Even then, there's no guarantee that he'll live--- Ace: Shut up! What the hell are you talking about? Aren't you a surgeon? Can't you fix him? Arturo: I--! I'm not that kind of surgeon! I've told you, over and over, I have no experience with saving lives! Something like this! There's no way I can do it-- Ah! Ace: SHUT UP! Shut up, Arturo! You *can* save his life! Shut the fuck up! Stop saying you can't do it, because you can! Don't you understand? I'm going to die right now, and you're going to live! So decide whether you want to at least *try* and put in some fucking effort for once, or keep making excuses for yourself like a sniveling coward for the rest of your life. I don't even get to make that decision anymore! Stop complaining, you whiny little shit! Grow some fucking balls and save someone's goddamn life, asshole! Because you can!
There's layers to Ace's shouting barrage at Arturo. Obviously part of it is just Ace trying to convince himself that Arturo can save Levi so he can die with a relatively clearer conscience, but there's also a sort of self-awareness of Ace's faults in the things he says. Try swapping "save Levi's life" for "be a better person," and pretend it's being said to Ace by someone else who is about to die.
You *can* [be a good person]! Shut the fuck up! Stop saying you can't do it, because you can! Don't you understand? I'm going to die right now, and you're going to live! So decide whether you want to at least *try* and put in some fucking effort for once, or keep making excuses for yourself like a sniveling coward for the rest of your life. I don't even get to make that decision anymore! Stop complaining, you whiny little shit! Grow some fucking balls and [be a better person], asshole! Because you can!
Because moments ago, it was Ace who was making excuses like a coward for why he felt he would never be a good person, and why he had no control over his shitty personality that made everyone hate him and made him a target of the killing game, etc. He never put in the effort to change because he thought it was pointless, that he was unable to, and didn't realize the falseness of that preconception until he was faced with death. Seems I was on the right track when I connected his thanatophobia to his issues with control; death robs him of the decision to try and be a good person ("I don't even get to make that decision anymore!"), which he hadn't even realized he had until that moment.
It's no wonder Ace was a popular survivor guess; he could have changed, could have been a good person. And despite the harm he's caused, the way he robbed Arei of the opportunity to do what he couldn't and attempt to change, the intention he had of killing everyone in the trial, his death remains a tragedy for the hypothetical of what could have been. Maybe if Levi had managed to properly reach him the way Eden reached Arei, this could have all been avoided. But alas, Ace didn't accept the hand strectched out to him, and now it's too late to fix things.
I said during my reactions that I felt just as emotional during Ace's execution as I did with Min's, which was certainly true and very impressive given my massive bias towards the Ultimate Student. And while I can't say that I'll miss Ace as much as I miss Min (because come on), I'll certainly hold him close to my heart for as long as I live regardless.
As a final note, holy shit the voice acting. If I pointed out every line where the acting for Ace was spectacular, I would be here all day. I doubt I need to elaborate on this; the sheer perfection of the performance should be obvious to anyone who can hear it. Godspeed Seth Raffield, you truly were incredible. Can't wait to hear what you do in the Bonus Episode, provided there is one.
---
I am free! Holy shit that took way too fucking long. I need to figure out a better way to do this shit for later chapters, because geez. You have no idea how much Tumblr's drafts lagged because of this shit, I had to write the final sections in different drafts and copy paste them over because it was unbearable. Not to mention hitting the goddamn link limit which is just clinically insane from me. Anyways, if you somehow managed to read all of that, I feel genuinely sorry for you. You know you can be a good person if you try, right? There's no need to punish yourself like this.
I'm being silly, of course. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!
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bonefall · 1 year ago
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⭕️Hey Bones! Is it ok if you explain and/or elaborate how Crowfeather is abusive to Breezepelt if please?⭕️
I do KNOW that crowfeather is indeed, abusive to Breezepelt, due to the fact that he emotionally and/or physically neglected him - with child neglect being known to BE a form of child abuse - and I also heard that he slashed and/or hit him within one of the books, which I believe is in the book Outcast, in chapter 16.
But I also wish people would talk and be informed about it more within the fandom, because in the parts of the fandom I’ve known portrayed Crowfeather’s neglect on Breezepelt as negative and bad, but not in a way that made me think and/or feel: “Wow, that’s pretty bad. That’s…actually abusive.” I suppose? So I hope more people will talk about it more in that type of way.
Also, please be aware that I have NOT read PoT, OoTS, etc. or barely any warrior cats books, since the majority of the information I got from the series is from the wiki and the fandom, so that probably explains why I didn’t know this part of Crowfeather’s character is as bad as it actually is until now. Also, feel free to talk about Crowfeather’s abuse on Breezepelt I haven’t mentioned and/or don’t know right now as well if you want.
I’m SO sorry that if this ask is unintentionally quite long, and feel free to make sure to take all the time you need to answer it. Thank you!
OH LET'S GOOOO
Breezepelt is both physically and emotionally abused by Crowfeather. I'm not talking about only child neglect; he is screamed at, belittled, and even once hit on-screen.
The fact that Crowfeather both neglected and abused him is very important to the canonical story of Breezepaw. There's actually a lot more to this character than people remember! Even from his first appearances he displays good qualities, a strained relationship with his father and adult clanmates, and is clearly shown to be troubled before we understand why.
As many problems as I have with the direction of Breezepelt's arc (especially Crowfeather's Trial), his setup is legitimately a praiseworthy bit of writing from Po3 which carries over into OotS. To say that Breezepelt was not abused is to completely miss two arcs worth of books SCREAMING it.
BIG POST. Glossary;
INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River
ABUSE: Outcast, Social Alienation, the Tribe Journey.
DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.
For "brevity," I'm not getting into anything post-OotS. I'm just showing that Breezepelt was abused, the narrative wants you to know that he was abused, and that his status as a victim of child abuse is CENTRAL to understanding why he is training in the Dark Forest.
INTRO TO BREEZEPELT: The Sight and Dark River
Our very first introduction to Breeze is when Jaypaw walks off a cliff in the first book of Po3 and is rescued by a WindClan patrol. He's making snarky remarks, and Whitetail and Crowfeather are not happy about it. Whitetail snaps for Crow to teach his son some manners, and Crow growls for Breezepaw to be quiet.
But our proper introduction to him is at his announcement gathering, when Heatherpaw playfully introduces him as a friend,
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From the offset something's not entirely right here between Breezepaw and his father. He's cut off by Heatherpaw here, but he's touchy whenever his father is involved, and we're not entirely sure why.
Throughout Book 1, he's just rude, with a notable xenophobic streak. He's a bit of a mean rival character for Lionpaw, as they're both interested in the affections of Heatherpaw and make bids to get her attention, but nothing particularly violent yet.
He participates in the beloved Kitty Olympics and gets buried in liquid dirt with Lionpaw, basically a rite of passage for any arc.
(And Nightcloud has a cute moment where she watches over them until they fall asleep)
As the books progress, the relationship between Crow and Breeze visibly deteriorates. They start from being simply tense with each other in The Sight, to the open shouting and hitting we see in Outcast.
In the very first chapter of Dark River, we learn where his behavioral issues are really coming from;
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Crowfeather.
Breezepelt is getting xenophobia from his father. Occasionally he says something bigoted and his dad will agree and chime in, and those are the only positive moments they have together.
(Note: In contrast, Nightcloud explicitly pushes back against xenophobia, chiding Breezepelt for his rudeness to Lionpaw in back in The Sight, Chapter 21. The Sight is the book where a lot of "evidence" that the Evil Overbearing Woman is actually responsible for the rift between father and son but. No. She's not. Though she can be overprotective; Crow and Breeze have a bad relationship when she's not even around in Breeze's first appearance and even his Crowfeather's Trial Epiphany refutes it. Anyway this post isn't about Nightcloud.)
So he starts acting on his bigotry, accusing cats in other Clans of stealing, running really close to the border. What's interesting though, is that this is not entirely his doing. The first time we get physical trouble from Breezepaw, DUSTPELT aggressed it. Breezepaw and Harepaw were just chasing a squirrel and hadn't yet gone over the border at all.
We learn that WindClan is teaching its apprentices how to hunt in woodland, and tensions between the two Clans is starting to escalate as ThunderClan isn't entirely trusting of their intentions.
The second time, fighting breaks out over him and Harepaw actually crossing the border and catching a squirrel. WindClan is adamant that because it came from their land, it's their squirrel. So it's as if Breezepaw is modelling the aggression around him, learning how to behave from the older warriors and his father.
When he joins Heatherpaw and The Three to go find Gorsetail's kits in the tunnels, he's grouchy towards the ThunderClan cats, but very gentle with the kittens. Notably so. When Thistlekit is dangerously cold, he cuddles up next to her, and even assures Swallowkit when she's scared,
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Through this entire excursion, he's the one in the comforting roles for the kittens. Breezepaw is the one who is taking time to tell the kits they'll be okay, that he'll protect them, and physically supporting them when they're weak, even when he's terrified.
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And it's always contrasted to Heatherpaw who's way more 'disciplined,' as a side note. It's a detail I'm just fond of.
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All this to point out,
Breezepelt displays his best qualities when he's away from the older warriors of WindClan, and he's at his worst whenever he's near Crowfeather. Even while he's essentially just a bully character for The Three to deal with. He's gruff but cooperative when it's just him and Heatherpaw interacting with The Three, but mean when there is an adult to please.
We're getting to the on-screen abuse now, but Po3 actually sets up Breezepaw's troubles and dynamics well before it's finally confirmed that he is a victim of child abuse.
ABUSE: Outcast, the Tribe Journey.
In Outcast, Breezepaw's problems have escalated into open aggression towards cats of other Clans, and is now a legitimate concern for his own safety. Yet, he's spoken over by older warriors, and reprimanded at nearly every opportunity, right in front of the warrior of another Clan.
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Squilf just asked the poor kid how his training was going, and then Whitetail JUMPS to talk over him so she can complain, RIGHT in front of his face.
They can't even wait until they're alone to grumble something rude about Breezepaw, who is still just a teenager here;
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They taught him already that a bit of prey that runs off their own territory still belongs to WindClan, encourage him to blow past borders in pursuit, and started a battle with ThunderClan over this. And then they're pissed off at him for being aggressive, thinking it's deserved to scold him in public.
When Onestar announces that he wants Breezepaw to go on the Tribe Journey, he's devastated by it...
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Because he thinks WindClan doesn't like him, and he's right. He's gossiped about, torn into in front of a ThunderClan warrior, and even his own dad doesn't want to be around him. It's clear that Breezepaw's impulsive "codebreaking" behaviors are a desire to prove himself, and once you realize that, the way that he's being alienated is heartbreaking.
But Wait!! Hold on a minute! Where did he get a "patrol of apprentices" from to confront the dogs with, exactly?
Simple. Breezepaw CAN make friends! He actually values them a lot! So much that it's the first thing Crowfeather snaps at him over, out of frustration that his son is also being forced on this journey with him. It's an angry response to his child having emotional and physical needs, resentment that will continue all journey long.
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Note that it's plural, friends. Breezepelt has multiple friends, at least one who is not Heatherpaw, and she promises to say goodbye to them.
Up next, they state over and over, Crowfeather and Breezepaw do not like each other. Crowfeather resents being around him and dealing with his rudeness, embarrassed and angry, and Breezepaw is absolutely miserable being sent on a journey to the mountains with a man who hates his guts.
The whole while, Crowfeather is brooding longingly about Feathertail, already thinking about her as soon as he kitty-kisses Nightcloud goodbye, his eyes looking somewhere distant. He makes a jab about loyalty when Breezepaw doesn't understand why they're helping the Tribe.
Breezepaw gets smacked after he's "shoved" at Purdy and acts rude to him, while the other three manage to be polite (while still having internal dialogue about how stinky he is).
Without so much as a, "cut that out," Crowfeather raises his paw and hits him. Breeze is quiet after that.
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I don't give a shit how rude your teenager is being. Do not hit kids. Being throttled on the head is not okay.
In spite of the Three not liking Breezepaw, or even Crowfeather, they're constantly noting that their arguments are not normal, and that Crow is a cold, unsupportive father who digs into his kid constantly, and the only time he ever DOES "discipline" his child it's through immediately smacking him.
At one point, the apprentices get hungry, and decide to foolishly hunt in a barn that they know has dogs in it against Purdy's warnings. Once again, JUST like the first two books, Breezepaw is more friendly when Crowfeather is not around.
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EVERY time he is alone with cats his own age, he's grumpy but cooperative. Even enthusiastic at times! The minute Crowfeather is in the picture, he's nasty.
Naturally, the dogs show up, but Purdy rescues them. Though Brambleclaw also chews his kids out (and i have strong opinions about bramble's parenting style for another time), Hollypaw is taken aback by the contrast of what a scolding from Brambleclaw looks like vs how Crowfeather reacts.
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The narrative is desperately trying to tell you that the way Crowfeather treats his son is not normal.
And then Crowfeather is pissed off that Breezepaw is exhausted from running for his life from hungry dogs,
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And he's constantly losing his shit whenever Breezepaw says something as innocuous as "dad im hungry"
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Then, Breezepaw is made to watch his dad pine over the grave of a woman who died long before Crowfeather was even considering his mother for a mate. What he feels is jealousy, because he knows his own father doesn't love him anywhere near as much as he loves the memory of Feathertail.
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This really goes on and on and on. The ENTIRE trip is like this, with Crowfeather treating Breezepelt poorly, giving him a smack before even verbally warning him, pushing him past his limits and blowing up on him when he asks simple questions about eating or resting.
It all comes to a head in this one exchange, towards the end. Hollypaw ends up snapping at Breezepaw for his rudeness, before having an epiphany.
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It's explicit. Crowfeather's emotional abuse, his "scorn" for Breezepelt, is what is driving a wedge between him and all of his older Clanmates. Between EVERYONE in Breezepelt's life who wasn't already his friend. This awful treatment is only making him worse and worse.
Realizing this, she has more sympathy for him, but it's too late. He continues to be rude to her because he feels insulted, and her patience completely runs out. She's just a kid. They're both just kids. She's not responsible for fixing him when he's pushing everyone away at this point.
That's the end of Breezepelt in Outcast. It can't be helped anymore. Any spark of friendship they had together in the barn, or in the tunnels, is gone.
As the series progresses, Crowfeather continues to refuse any personal responsibility for the mistreatment of his son, even pinning all of Breezepelt's behavioral problems on Nightcloud. He is a cold, selfish father who only ever thinks about his own pain and reputation.
DARK FOREST: How these factors push him towards radicalization.
Everyone talks about the Attack on Poppyfrost, which happens in the first book of OotS, in oversimplified terms. YES he is going after a nun and a pregnant woman. I've never said that's not Bad.
But no one talks about "WHY", and that reason is NOT just that he desires power like so many other WC villains. Breezepelt makes his motivation very clear on the page.
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Escalating to violence was about making Jayfeather feel the way that he does.
When Breezepelt says that he wants Jay to be surrounded by "lies, hatred, and things that should never have happened," he's talking about the way HE grew up, knowing his father never wanted him, and that his Clan HATES him as a result. Killing Poppyfrost is about trying to frame Jayfeather for her murder, so ThunderClan won't trust him anymore.
When Jayfeather points out the simple truth that what Breezepelt is saying doesn't make any goddamn sense, his hatred "falters." He's blaming his half-clan half-brother for his own treatment because of the reveal, but totally failed to consider that JAYFEATHER'S ALREADY GOING THROUGH IT... so his response is just this pitiful, "s-shut up, man."
Then the ghost of Brokenstar and Breezepelt bounce him back and forth between them like a beach ball for a bit until Honeyfern's spirit shows up.
Breezepelt's childhood abuse and social alienation was a hook that the Dark Forest latched onto, to reel him in. His anger at his half-brother is so obviously misplaced that its absurdity was something Jayfeather pointed out.
We soon learn that it's the Dark Forest who's planting that ridiculous idea in his head;
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The narration is SCREAMING, "The Dark Forest is validating the anger he feels towards his father, and redirecting it towards The Three." He's described as 'kitlike,' Tigerstar's eyes are compared to a hypnotizing snake.
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This prose could not make it more obvious if it drove to your house, beat you with it, and then spoon fed you the point while you were hospitalized.
At the end of this scene, Tigerstar sends Hawkfrost to recruit Ivypaw. This scene where Breezepelt is being lovebombed, and the command to start grooming Ivypaw, ARE LINKED. That was a choice.
A VERY GOOD choice! Again, as many issues as I have with OotS, its handling of indoctrination is unironically fantastic, and it owes a good amount of that to the outstanding setup of Breezepelt that was done back in Po3. And that setup doesn't work if Crowfeather was merely distant.
Breezepelt was abused by his father, both verbally and physically. It drove him to be more aggressive to prove himself, modeling the battle culture around him. The adults of WindClan judged him based off Crowfeather's responses, shunning and belittling the 'problem' teenager, which eventually drove Breezepelt to the only group that he felt "understood" him.
In a book series that is RIFE with abuse apologia, this is one of the few times that there's any behavioral consequences for abuse and the narrative holds the perpetrator accountable for it.
But people hear Crowfeather's deflective excuse in The Last Hope where he says he never hated him, blames Nightcloud for everything, and just lick it up uncritically.
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Gee whiz, I wonder why the guy who never blames himself for any of his problems would suddenly say it was his ex-wife's fault. Real headscratcher!
(Crowfeather's Trial then goes onto, for all my own problems with it, also hold Crow accountable as the reason why Breezepelt turned out like he did. But that's a topic for another day.)
632 notes · View notes
hyunfilms · 1 year ago
Text
blue side of the sky (lmh) | eight.
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♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.
—pairing: lee know x f. reader
—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut
—word count: 5.5k
—chapter warnings: cussing/mature language, mentions of alcohol consumption (not by oc), very platonic slow-dancing with jisung, we hear jisung's feelings about the accident 🥺, a bit more descriptive details of the accident, more minho x oc interactions yay!!, flashback - kisses/probably err on the side of making out lol
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"Shit, I need to be at Yeong-Su's in the next five minutes or else my parents are gonna kill me." Jisung huffs as he struggles to get his tie done. You put your eyelash curler down to help him because you can't watch him struggle any longer. You step in front of him and take over, neatly securing his tie around his neck before looking up at him with a small smile. "Thank you." He lets out a breath of relief before looking at himself in the mirror once more. 
"You're welcome. You should go."
"You're gonna be okay?"
"I will."
"What are you trying to say?" Chan yells from their room, making the two of you laugh.
"You look beautiful, cielo."
"Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself, pachi." He smiles.
"See you guys down there." He calls out before rushing out of the room to meet the groom and the groomsmen. You finish curling your lashes, adding some light falsies to spruce up your look. You didn't add much makeup since you were going for a more natural look, but you were satisfied with how it turned out in the end.
You weren't entirely sure in the beginning, you hadn't done this in a very long time. It feels nice.
When you finally give your hair one last fix and spray a bit of perfume, you step into Chan and Seungmin's room, seeing them fix their suits a few times while looking in the mirror. Chan's eyes dart from the mirror to you, then back to the mirror before he's doing a double take.
"Wow, you look amazing Y/N." He turns to look at you. "And you were saying you weren't sure about the dress?"
"I just haven't dressed up like this in awhile, you know?" You shrug. "San said it was nice." Your hands brush down the fabric of the dress while Seungmin and Chan chuckle.
"San was right." Chan nods. "Though, I hope he knows we won't make it easy for him to weasel his way into your heart." Chan focuses on tightening his tie once more.
"Seriously, Y/N. You look stunning." Seungmin adds. "Ready to go?"
"Mhm. Ready when you two are."
"Alright, let me just throw on my watch and I'll be good." Chan says, snatching his Rolex off of the nightstand and securing it around his wrist. The three of you head straight towards the garden area, your eyes light up at all the wedding decorations. The venue was decorated beautifully with its sage, taupe and champagne flowers and tones.
You're pulled out of your daze when you hear a familiar voice greeting Seungmin and Chan, Chan glancing over at you once you've met the eyes of said familiar voice.
"Y/N, hey." Minho says, slowly eyeing you up and down. "W-wow, you look amazing." You look at him with a small smile as you also peep his outfit— a  crisp button up with a black tie, sleeves rolled up mid-way with nicely pleated grey slacks. It's simple, but it works well for him. His long, brown hair slightly drapes over his eyes, a silver watch sitting prettily on his wrist.
"Hey Minho. Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself." You chuckle just as Chan gently tugs at the gift bag in your hand.
"I'll go place this down at the gift table for you, alright? Gotta put my gift down too." You give him a small nod before returning your attention to Seungmin and Minho. They're chatting amongst themselves, and you find yourself shuffling closer to Seungmin as the crowd grows.
"You okay?" Minho suddenly asks. "Did you take your medicine?" Seungmin subtly bites onto his bottom lip while he watches your eyes shift upwards at Minho. Suddenly, Minho feels a little embarrassed for outwardly showing his worry for you. He knows this isn't the time, he knows he needs to step back. "Sorry, I—"
"It's okay." You give him a reassuring nod. "I did this morning. I appreciate the reminder, though." Minho simply nods in acknowledgement before Seungmin butts in.
"We should find our seats." He says, watching the rest of the guests settle into their seats. Seungmin's hand settles on the small of your back, gently pressing you towards the way to your seats. At this point, Chan re-joins the group and follows along, greeting some of Jisung's family members on the way over. Seungmin takes the seat near the aisle, followed by you, Chan and Minho. Just as Chan settles into the seat, Minho meets your eyes and his facial expression softens. The corner of his lips tug upwards into a tiny smile that you almost miss, and he doesn't necessarily peel his eyes off of you even as the pianist starts to play the entrance song.
You feel that look settle in the pit of your stomach.
"Oh shit, it's starting already." Chan harshly whispers over to you and Seungmin. The three of you stand as the pianist plays the song loudly, the bridesmaids accompanied by the groomsmen. Jisung walks down the aisle with a smug smirk on his face that makes Chan, Minho and Seungmin quietly laugh to themselves. Shortly following behind is another couple, then another— until the entire group passes and lines up at the altar. Once they've settled in their positions alongside of Yeong-Su, Yuna begins to make her way down the aisle looking beautiful as ever in her wedding dress.
You watch the way Yuna and Yeong-Su look at each other so lovingly in the eyes as they go through their vows, the tears still flowing down their cheeks— causing everyone in attendance to break into their own tears and sniffles. You wonder what it's like to be completely enamored by someone, to love someone so deeply and with everything in you; 
What is love?
Were you ever in love at some point? True, genuine love? 
Your eyes wander to the ocean just behind the venue, before they fall onto Minho again. But, when you turn, you find that he's looking at you already and his expression is unreadable. He is always unreadable, but it's the feeling you get that confuses you the most.
"Kiss!" Seungmin yells just as the crowd begins to yell along, making you chuckle. Minho is no longer looking at you, and he's snapped himself back to current times— back to reality.
God.
The wedding passes quickly, with the reception following shortly behind. It's a short distance of a walk, the huge tent with champagne-colored drapes right around the corner of the hotel. The view of the sunset and ocean is clearer in this area, with the breeze a bit stronger [though it hits the drapes and decorations beautifully]. 
"Cielo." Jisung comes from behind, causing you to turn over your shoulder to look at him. "Are you still doing okay?"
"Mhm." You nod. "I was just about to to grab a drink."
"I can do it—"
"It's fine, pachi. I got it." You give him a toothless smile as you step forward to the self-serve area for the drinks; all the fruit-flavored, non-alcoholic drinks lined up in cute beverage dispensers with gold detailing. You help yourself to some of the strawberry mango concoction that's almost gone, waiting for every drip to fall into your cup.
"I'm nervous." Jisung whines a bit, watching as you wait for your cup to fill.
"Why are you nervous? You're going to be fine, Ji."
"I haven't sang in front of my family in such a long time."
"And I'm sure you'll do great. They'll love you. Besides, you'll have Seungmin with you." You finally bring your cup up to your lips while you turn to Jisung.
"You don't think my singing voice is icky, right?"
"Jisung, please." You chuckle and shake your head. "Your voice is lovely. Your family will love it." You give his arm a gentle squeeze. "Promise." He lets out a deep breath before he nods.
"You're right." He walks alongside of you as you walk back to the table, Chan helping himself to the salad and bread that was just served. The three of you engage in small talk over some food, while Minho decides to sip on his drink near the open bar area. He watches the way you laugh and smile, his gut wishing he was the reason why—
"Please tell me you're just taking way too long to decide which drink you'll go for after you finish that." Seungmin comes to his side, making Minho damn near choke on the cocktail he's sipping.
"Excuse you."
"Creep." Seungmin gives him a look and Minho glares at him.
"I was just people-watching."
"Like that makes it any better."
"Would you mind your own business, Kim Seungmin? Don't you have a song to sing soon?"
"Soon, not right now." Seungmin sips on his cocktail before digging his other hand into his pocket. "So, staring at Y/N?"
"I wasn't staring at her." Minho looks at him, but all Seungmin does is cock a brow up. "I mean I was, but like, I was just making sure she was okay.. from a distance. It wasn't too long ago when I brought her to urgent care."
"Was that hard?"
"What?"
"To say that you care."
"She's still my bestfriend at the end of the day." Minho blurts out the first excuse that comes to mind even though he has no right to play that card.
"Alright then." Seungmin shrugs, half-understanding why Minho was acting the way he was, half-not-understanding why he couldn't just say what was on his mind. "Whatever you say, my guy. I'm gonna head back to our friends." He heads for the table with Minho following shortly after.
The remainder of the program goes by beautifully, with Jisung, the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen giving their thoughtful and sweet speeches. You've cried once or twice, especially when Yuna shares a dance with her father, and Yeong-Su gives his own speech to everyone before catering to his now-wife. There are special surprise performances from family, one being Jisung and Seungmin's performance— singing to Alto Moon's 'Mars.'
As soon as the dance portion of the night begins, Chan whisks you away to the dance floor, twirling you around before the both of you start to dance along to the song. Shortly, Seungmin joins along after he's found his way towards you two, then Jisung, Yuna and Yeong-Su. Minho joins the circle, laughing and enjoying himself across from you. Nonetheless, it's a good time and you find yourself having tons of fun with Jisung's family and your friends. You almost don't want the weekend to come to an end because you'll be looking to relive the entire thing all over again.
It's the first time you've felt alive in awhile.
"Hey." Jisung slips into the empty seat next to Seungmin while you two sit down for a break. "Please, help. I need a break from them." He points at his family. "They're killing me with the pictures." He tries to duck by Seungmin's figure to avoid people calling him over.
"Sucks to be you." You laugh at Seungmin's remark. "Jisung is over here!" Seungmin calls out, making Jisung punch him on the bicep.
"You asshole." He moves away from his seat to keep dodging his family, putting his hand out for you to grab when the songs begin to slow down. "Perfect timing! Let's go dance, cielo." Jisung brings you out onto the floor for a slow dance. You wrap your arms around his neck and he holds you around the waist, the both of you swaying to the slow beat of the song.
"Are you having a good time? Feeling okay?"
"I am. Thank you for bringing me along."
"Of course, I knew you'd enjoy it." He chuckles a bit.
"No, really. Thank you." You pull back to look at him. "You know, for always looking out for me and being there for me? For being patient? I know it might not be easy after everything that's happened. Or, I might not be the easiest to take care of, but you make life a lot smoother."
"Cielo, you're my bestfriend. I'll do anything for you." He lets out a breath. "When the accident happened, I was scared." Even if he won't get into too many details right now, it's the first time Jisung is really speaking up about the accident. "I couldn't help but blame myself because I felt like I could've done better. I spent nights trying to figure out where I could have prevented this from happening, where I lacked in keeping you safe. Why I didn't do certain things—"
"Jisung, that wasn't your fault."
"Still." He looks at you. "Maybe I should've prevented you from leaving that night. I should have made you stay knowing the storm was at its peak." You can't even remember the night of the accident, but your uncle had briefly mentioned leaving Jisung's. Why you were there, you weren't sure. Why you left, you aren't sure. But you hopped in an Uber, the driver losing control of the car when a drunk driver in the opposite lane swerved— causing the car to flip when you were only 5 minutes away from home.
It makes you sick to even think about it. That's one thing you don't want ever to relive, or have memories of.
"There are things you can't protect me from, pachi." You say softly while looking up at him. "Just as me with you."
"I just should've done better, Y/N. I could have." He clears his throat. "You were almost taken away from me. I'll never let another opportunity slip past me again." He looks at you as if it's the last time he's looking at you. But before the moment carries on, he pulls you in, hugging you tightly and warmly. He keeps you close, because that's what he feels like he needs to do from this moment on.
"I'm here, pachi." You softly say as you part from him. All he can do is look at you and nod, giving you some space as the next song begins to play. 
"I know." At this point, Jisung's mom comes from behind him and sweetly asks for a dance from her son. You hand him off, smiling at them right before you turn on your heel to head to the bathroom. Luckily, it isn't too far into the hotel. You can't wait to relieve yourself and freshen up a bit, giving yourself a bit of a break before heading back out to be surrounded by people and loud music.
Once you feel like you've given yourself a good enough breather, you leave the bathroom and turn the corner—
"Woah." Minho says, his hands immediately coming to your elbows. "Oh jeez, I'm so sorry Y/N." He says when he realizes it's you he almost ran into. 
"You're alright." You chuckle. "I shouldn't have turned the corner so quickly." He puts on a small smile.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just needed a little bathroom break and a quick breather." You look past his shoulder to get a glimpse of the party. "Is Jisung still with his mom?" He shakes his head.
"No, but his auntie."
"Of course. I saw you and Chan with the aunties earlier."
"Gotta save them a dance or two, you know?" You giggle.
"How sweet." Pause. Silence. Minho observes every inch of your face, body— the scar on your cheek from the accident, and the one near your hairline. You're beautiful, and he doesn't even care if he's staring.
All that liquid courage, especially.
"You really do look amazing tonight."
"Thank you, Minho." You fiddle with your fingers. "I should let you get back to.. you know.." He lets out a small breathy laugh just as you see Jisung hurrying into your point of view.
"Please. Help." You read Jisung's lips and furrow your brows, causing Minho to turn over his shoulder and look at him.
"He always needs saving." Minho rolls his eyes, making you laugh at his statement.
"Are you gonna head back to the table after?" He nods.
"Yeah. But for now, I think you should get to Jisungie before he cries."
"Right. I'll see you later." You chuckle as you walk past him and meet Jisung, who is hiding from his aunties [again] even in plain sight. 
Minho is left alone to ponder on his thoughts, and he can't stand this.
Actually, he can't stand himself. Cause god, he was preparing to accept the worst. To lose you, to not have you around. To have something taken away from him so suddenly.
Then, that wasn't the case. But that's not the issue at all, no. He's happy and he can't stop thanking the higher power for giving you another chance at life. He doesn't know what he'd do without you, you were always important to him. Always will be.
Still, you are what he loves the most.
But he can't stand himself because he's here, acting like everything is fine. He was heartbroken when you didn't remember who he was, had no recollection of the memories you two shared— he fell deeper in this dark hole with Kat even though he didn't intend to. She just filled this void that he had, and it's fucked up of him to lean on the girl that messed up everything you two had in the first place. He couldn't help himself. But, what breaks his heart the most now is that you don't know, and you may or may not ever know. He couldn't dare to see you crying or hurt. Even though Minho really wants to be honest, he really wants to tell you.
You two have so much to talk about.
He looks at you as you hit the dance floor with the group and he's just not sure when or how to do this— how to even act around you because you're the girl he's always loved. You're the girl he imagined spending his entire life with. But you're also the same girl he hurt so, so deeply.
He's the one who brought you all this love, along with all this hurt, and he'll never forgive himself for it. 
He wishes it wasn't so difficult because when he looks at you, he wishes he could love you time and time again— like the world was due to end any minute now.
That's way too selfish of him, though. He's already been selfish once, and he won't dare to be that selfish again. He'll try not to.
Not if it hurts you.
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Jisung joins Yeong-su and the groomsmen for a little after party at a nearby bar, while Chan and Seungmin busy themselves with rounds of Mario Party in the room. You decide that you want to walk and experience more of the ocean, listening to the waves crash against the sand under the cool weather.
"I'm going to walk around the hotel."
"Wait, do you want one of us to come?" Chan's eyes are fixated on the screen in front of him as he furiously presses the button on the controller.
"No, it's okay. I just wanted to take a quick walk and sit by the water for a minute. I'll come back." You stand at their doorway and give them a small smile.
"You su— ah, fuck off dude!" Seungmin yells. "Are you sure, Y/N?" He repeats to finish off his previous thought.
"More than sure." You give them one last wave before heading out the door. After the wedding, you quickly took a shower and threw on some cotton shorts, a baby tee and a loose zip-up to protect you from the colder breeze at this time of night. You zip it up halfway, tugging on the zipper as you step into the elevator and head down to the first floor. It's still pretty lively, with guests at the restaurant and bar. Just as you send a text to your uncle to let him know you're okay, you do a double-take when you catch a familiar face sitting in the same exact dining area where you and Seungmin sat yesterday.
You don't say much, but you're quick to find out that you don't need to. As if his instinct told him to turn right at the moment, he does. He catches your eyes as he's about to take another sip, a subtle smile forming at the corner of his lips when you shyly wave. He sets the glass down and lets the waiter know he's finished, acknowledging him once more before making his way over to you. He smiles a bit, but you can tell he's nervous [partially tipsy, too].
"I didn't think I'd run into you out here." Minho says, making you chuckle as he continues to walk alongside of you.
"I wanted to walk around and sit by the water for a bit."
"Not tired?" You shrug.
"I am, but I wanted to get a better view of the ocean before leaving." You look up at him. "I could ask you the same."
"I figured I'd explore around too."
"See." You giggle.
"What's Chan and Seungmin doing?"
"Playing Mario Party." He chuckles.
"Of course." It's silent for a bit before the two of you head down the steps and finally hit the sand. "They didn't wanna join?"
"I mean they asked, but I told them they didn't need to. Don't wanna interrupt their session."
"They'll live." You laugh a bit and nod.
"It's alright." Minho catches you take in a deep breath before exhaling, biting onto your bottom lip as you slowly take steps forward, closing in to the water. It falls silent between you two, but it's a comfortable silence. You take in the view, while Minho observes you.
Calm. 
Beautiful.
So—
"So pretty." His head tilts to the side because yes, you are.
"Yeah, it is."
"I think I want to draw or paint this when I get back home." You quickly snap a photo.
"You should." You look at him and give him another small, toothless smile before sitting on the sand. Minho stands for a bit before he finally sits next to you— legs propped up while his hands rest on his knees. "How's all of that going?"
"I don't know. Better? Finally feeling some kind of inspiration to get back into art." You smile out towards the water. "I haven't done much yet. But either way, it's refreshing."
"That's good. How are the pottery classes?"
"Fun." You shrug. "Keeps me busy." You tuck your knees to your chest and look at him again. "I think I wanna work at the florist shop near Sunday Morning." 
"Really? That'll be fun, too." Minho chuckles a bit. "You sure you're ready?" You nod.
"Yeah, think so. I feel ready. San said I should go for it, too." Minho's smile slowly fades. Of course he did. 
"How's that?" He forces himself to ask, though he's afraid of the answer. Selfishly so. Here he goes, already failing with being selfish.
"Which? San?" You ask him, genuinely confused about the question.
"Mhm."
"He's becoming a good friend. We hang out, we talk." 
"As long as he's good to you, Y/N." He's not even sure what direction that statement is going, but whatever it is— he truthfully and wholeheartedly means it. If San is what will make you happy, then he will let you be happy.
That's the most important.
"It's good company, that's all." Your arm brushes against his, but you don't react much about it. "Enough about me though, what about you?"
"I'm a boring person."
"Clearly not if we're bestfriends." You chuckle a bit.
"All I do is exist, Y/N. Truthfully. I just work, dance, cook." Minho laughs at how pathetic he's making himself sound right now, but it's true. It's all he does.
"Well, what about Kat?" He shivers a bit. It's weird how her name used to be like venom. Now, it's.. nothing?
"Kat?" He repeats and looks at you. You nod at him so innocently and it hits him how much the accident has changed you. Of course, not your fault. But it goes to show how difficult it's been having to adjust. "We— she— that's not really a thing anymore, I guess?"
"So, you two were dating officially?"
"No. Never. We casually saw each other but that's all." He swallows the lump in his throat.
"I'm sorry, Minho."
"No need." He chuckles. "We were never going to be serious. I just finally learned how to walk away from it. The hard way."
"I hope you really are okay." You rest your chin against your knees. 
"I am. Don't worry about me." It falls silent for a moment before you call for him.
"Minho?"
"Yeah?"
"This is nice. I.. haven't been able to talk to you much, so it's nice to hear your voice more." He smiles before his head drops and he shakes his head.
"I know, I'm sorry. I just get occupied, and I always try to keep myself busy. Plus, I wanted to give you your space for a bit."
"I understand." You sigh. "This must be weird for you."
"No." He shakes his head. "It's not weird or anything. Don't ever think that."
"You feel distant."
"I'm not gonna lie, it's difficult because a lot has changed." He looks at you before tearing his eyes away. "I'm terrible at coping, and I'm terrible at dealing with big changes. All my own personal struggles, that's all."
"I get that."
"But I am sorry you feel that way. I know I should've done better, especially as your bestfriend. I haven't acted like it."
"It's okay, Minho. You don't have to apologize."
"I do. You deserve that from me." He looks at you again and his eyes soften. How he wishes he could pull you close, hold you, reassure you through a kiss on the forehead. 
He feels his heart sink to the pit of his stomach, so he shifts and focuses on the water, listens to the waves crashing against the sand.
Maybe one day, he'll be able to look at you for longer.
"I wish you didn't leave so quickly after you brought me home from the clinic."
"I wanted you to get your rest."
"Jisungie was there. I was looking for you. I wish you stayed." This is what makes it difficult. You looked for him. He feels like it's been forever since that happened.
"I'm sorry." He replies softly. "I'll make it up to you, okay?"
"You can by staying and not hurrying away next time." You feel your heart thumping in your chest, and you're not sure why you feel so shy, so nervous around Minho right now. The root feeling you get with him is unfamiliar, strange— falls into the category of known unknowns. But, one thing is for sure: you crave Minho's company.
"I can do that." You nod before letting out a small yawn into your elbow. "Maybe we should head back so you can sleep?"
"Yeah, I think the exhaustion is finally hitting me." You giggle, watching as Minho stands and dusts himself off. He puts out a hand, letting you grab onto his to help pull you up to do the same. "At least I got to enjoy the ocean." You turn to him as you start to walk back into the hotel. "Thanks for spontaneously joining me."
"Of course."
"Are you on the fourth floor too?" He shakes his head.
"I booked my room a little last minute so I'm on the seventh." He digs his hands into his pockets. "Is Jisungie back?"
"No. He probably won't be back until later."
"Hm." He hums as he presses the elevator button.
"I think we're getting breakfast tomorrow right? Us 5?"
"Mhm. If Jisung is alive." You laugh and step inside.
"True. He'll be a mess later."
"Do you wanna sleep in my room?" You raise a brow at him and he instantly retracts. "Oh no, no— sorry, I meant like, you can sleep in my bed— fuck." He groans. before gathering his thoughts again. "We can switch. So you don't have to deal with him later." You laugh.
"It's alright. If I need help, I'll call you. How about that?"
"Fair enough."
"I'm sure he'll be okay." The elevator dings when it his the fourth floor. "Thanks again for the company. I'll see you tomorrow morning?"
"Yeah." You smile. 
"Goodnight, Minho."
"Goodnight." His eyes are glued onto you even as you turn on your heel and walk down the hallway, the elevator doors closing in front of him.
Now, he feels empty.
He's left with another piece of his heart broken, left with the unbearing sadness and anxiety he feels every time you walk away from him.
How do you continue to love someone who doesn't remember you the way you remember them— who doesn't love you the way you love them?
☁︎ FLASHBACK | A NIGHT DURING FRESHMAN YR IN COLLEGE
"Ouch, fuck!" You whine as you almost slip on the dirt, making your way up the stupid fucking hill behind campus. "If I break my ankle or fall, this will be all your fault Lee Minho."
"You're fine! We're almost there, princess." He laughs loudly as he watches you struggle climbing up the somewhat steep hill. Minho holds his hand out for you to grab, giving you some leverage to tackle the dirt path. You squeal a bit when you feel him pull you upwards, letting out a laugh when you finally get your footing together on flat ground.
"All this for the tower." You dust yourself off and look up at the abandoned watch [fire?] tower nestled up in the hills behind campus. "So worth." You turn to look at the town's view ahead.
"Atta girl." Minho smiles and nods towards the tower. "Come, let's go up the stairs and sit up there." He swings the rusted, metal gate open to lead you to the stairs.
"We're not gonna get in trouble, right?"
"Baby, baby, baby." He says in a certain tone. "Are we really asking that question?"
"Well, I don't know!" Minho steps aside to let you climb up the steps first. "Campus security could see us from down there and catch an attitude about us being here at this time!"
"Then we'll just tell them we're not getting any younger. It's a must to explore what's outside of campus before we're thrusted in the real world." You snort as you reach the end, feet stepping onto the platform. It isn't an incredibly huge tower— quite frankly, it's tiny and you're not even sure why the dang thing existed in the first place. But, there's nothing eery to it at all. It's a nice spot to have these moments.
"A prophet. I am dating a prophet."
"Maybe." Minho laughs as he sits on the platform and takes a swig of his water. "Sit with me. Please?" Is all he says when he reaches for your hand and gently pulls you in between his legs. You sit contently, letting Minho lazily wrap his arm around your neck before planting a kiss on your temple.
"It's a perfect night." You look up at the dark, night sky, counting as stars in your immediate view. You feel your body into Minho's as he adjusts his position and holds you closer to him. "Thanks for taking me up here, love."
"Course." He gives you a small smile. "Just don't tell Ji or else he's gonna be pissed. He's been wanting to do the hike up here but I keep telling him I'm too lazy."
"Too lazy, huh?" You chuckle.
"Gotta make princess happy first and foremost." He boops the tip of your nose, making you slightly turn over your shoulder to meet his eyes.
"Hey, babe?"
"Hm?" He hums as he gently pushes the hair away from your face.
"What do you think life would be like for us in a couple of years?"
"Well." He lets out a breath as you lay back on him, the both of you watching the hustle and bustle of the town. "I'd be owning a café. You'll be teaching art, maybe opening your own little boutique for it. We'd probably live together, and I'll start stressing on how to propose to you as time continues to go on—"
"Woah, propose?" You smirk and playfully push him. "Is that so?"
"I thought we were looking at us in the future?"
"Cute. Do you think we're too young to think like that?" Minho shakes his head.
"Maybe." He presses a kiss to the top of your head. "But I'm sure of it. I think that counts for something." You let out a soft, breathy laugh.
"Yeah, you're right." You nod and lay back on him. "I like that. I like future us."
"Good." You scoff before laughing. Minho continues to stare at you, smile slowly fading when his eyes shift from yours, to your lips— back up to your eyes. "So pretty."
"It's nighttime." He shrugs as he leans in slowly.
"And? Can still see you perfectly." He mumbles just as his lips brush against yours— sending tingles down your spine. You subtly bite onto your bottom lip, closing in on the kiss. Minho holds the kiss for a moment before he inches back, coming in for another shortly after. This time, his tongue lightly glides across your bottom lip; his way of asking for permission to take the kiss a little deeper. 
And you let him.
You slightly turn to position yourself better, hand coming up his neck, jaw, cheek, just as he sucks onto your bottom lip and tugs it back. You let out a soft sigh, smiling into the kiss as Minho continues.
"Maybe—we should—" You kiss him. "Head back?" He nods, giving you one last peck on the lips. 
"Yeah." You prepare to stand and dust yourself off when Minho grabs your wrist. "Hey, babe?" You turn to look at him when he gets himself up. "I love you."
"I love you, too." You smile and kiss him on the tip of his nose.
☁︎ END
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cyten0 · 2 months ago
Text
A Symphony in Crimson
Act 1: A Movement in Black
Chapter 14
Finally. Back at this storage room. It took a while, you made sure the party got through without a scratch on them. The scent of blood isn’t as bad anymore, you can control yourself, but it still feels horrible to smell, for many reasons.
The ONE thing you nee to do right now is keep them safe, that matters more then anything else, even a drop of blood makes you feel like a blinding failure. What’s the point of all of this if they get hurt? You’ve already failed them before, you won’t let it happen again if you can help it.
It makes them a little nervous, seeing you puppet the sadnesses about, making them flee, or tear each other apart. But it’s fine. As long as they're safe.
This is now YOUR lair, not the kings. And you’ll never let them get hurt here.
But right now, they're trapped here. And it’s past time to fix that. Your family watches as you grab the book about wishcraft from the shelf and flip it open, searching for answers.
◉ “What do you have there Siffrin?”
✦ “A book on wishcraft”
...Oh they probably want to know why your looking into it. Hm.
✦ “… It’s likely how the king got the power over timecraft.”
▲ “Oh Crab!”
◉ “T-That seems important!!”
◆ “Mind if we take a look?”
They can’t read it but they don’t know that. So you just show them the book. As expected, they look at it frustrated, before handing it back.
✿ “Those were bad letters.”
◆ “Honestly surprised you can even read it.”
Perhaps you should go into detail. They might have insights.
✦ “I’ll translate, and explain. Take a seat.”
▲ “Awfully serious huh? “
◉ “Reminds me of the teachers here… I guess that makes this an extra class!”
You nod. Teacher angle makes sense. You’re a little tired to make all the normal expressions, but you’re frankly excited to teach this again! Properly this time!
✿ “Do we have to? I don’t want to do school again.”
✦ “You sure? You’d learn how to do real miracles. But I guess if you aren’t interested...”
✿ “I am now very intepid.”
◆ “Interested.”
✿ “That.”
▲ “Wait, hold on a second, you said actual miracles?”
You give Isa a grin. You have everyone's interest!
✦ “Take your seats, and we can begin.”
They sit down around the nearby table, while you skim the book quickly to make sure you’re ready.
◆ “Very well, professor Siffrin. Whenever you please.”
Alright. Best start with the basics first.
✦ “Now then. Wishcraft is, as the name implies, the ability to craft with wishes. Specifically, it is the art of turning raw belief in a desire into real force by drawing from elsewhere. This is done through any number of rituals, which help translate and amplify your intentions to the stars in the night sky. Then, your will to see it done sways them into granting that desire.”
▲ “The stars? They can do that?”
Ah, you should explain this again. You briefly explain the stars, other worlds, their craft energy, and so on.
◉ “Wow, that’s… So, every time we make a wish, we’re taking from hundreds of other people?!?”
✦ “Billions, but... No, it’s more complex then that. Like I said, We’re also a star to them, and they can draw from us. It’s more like sharing, on such a wide scale we can't tell. But more importantly, it’s normally borderline impossible to draw anything meaningful normally. That’s why rituals need to be designed for this.”
◆ “And what do these rituals involve?”
✦ “I’m glad you asked! Every star has affinities for certain actions, desires, objects, and so on. In order to contact several, you have to find stars close enough to each other that work together. But, since we don’t have a say in what these affinities are, the rituals can get… Unusual.”
✿ “I wanna know one! Tell us, tell us!”
Well, you know one like the back of your hand, so...
✦ “Well then, let’s go for something you’re familiar with. Favor trees.”
▲ “WAIT WHAT!?!”
◉ “THEY CAN GRANT WISHES?!?”
✦ “Yes! They can. It’s not the strongest ritual, but it can work small miracles. Like learning a skill effortlessly, giving good luck, or with strong desire, even stuff like transformations and small bits of magic-like abilities.”
▲ “I-It can’t be as simple as just clapping your hands can it? We would have known by now!”
✦ “Right. Visiting the tree is just one step. The actual ritual goes as such: First find a leaf that represents yourself, whisper the wish into the leaf a number of times significant to you, or just three if you want, fold it closed, and then set it loose in the wind.”
They all just take a second to process that.
✿ “That’s so weird.”
◉ “Kinda complicated. And nothing like what we were taught…”
You feel a little annoyed at that, for some inexplicable reason.
✦ “Hey, designing rituals is tricky. Finding a specific combination of stars that even respond to favor trees took MONTHS of work, and after that you just have to work with what’s available to make something even doable at all. The fact there even IS one is a borderline miracle.”
◆ “No need to get upset Siffrin. It’s not like you designed it.”
… Wait
… Oh. That’s why it’s so clear in Siffrin’s memory. And why you know so much about this from them.
...AND they could tell from your silence.
◉ “...Oh Change.”
✦ “I tried, okay?”
▲ “Hey it’s a good ritual, you did your best.”
✿ “Yeah, but why’d you never tell us! I would’ve totally used it yesterday!”
✦ “...I forgot.”
They have a bit of a chuckle at that. Oh stars, that’s really embarrassing…
Siffrin wanted it to be a gift for their neighboring country. You barely even remembered it. It would have been the perfect thing to share.
◆ “So, these rituals contact the stars. But that leaves me with a few questions. For example, how do they make sure it goes to the wish, and not something else? And what about contradictions, such as if two people wish for opposing things? And also, what kind of ritual did the king use for their powers? Is there a way to disrupt it?”
Huh. You can’t quite remember. But it seems important. You start flipping through the pages…
✦ “Hm… Not getting much. It seems those first few points are handled by something called an Arcanum, but it doesn’t mention much about them. And this book doesn’t actually list many rituals, more just how Wishcraft works.”
◉ “Then we should keep an eye out! I’m kind of invested now!”
✿ “I really wanna know more magic stuff!”
You nod, and everyone gets up. Alright. That’s a new insight! You might have talked a LOT there, but the recap was important, for them and you both. The headache is mild, since you were mostly reading for that knowledge. Worth it.
And it served as a bit of a distraction. The reality of you being in the house suddenly comes back to you in full force. Right. You have to keep them safe till the next book. Now you need to make extra sure you don’t loop until the end, or else you will have to do all that over again.
You walk out the door, and see a sadness. NO. You sing, and it rips itself apart. You stab it for good measure, before the others even get out the door.
◆ “...Gems, that never gets any less unsettling.”
You hear Isa whisper under their breath.
▲ “(Back to cold Sif, I guess… Hope their okay.)”
...Oh. You… haven't been putting effort into being expressive lately, have you…
...It’s fine. Save your energy for the parts that matter. Even if you have to go a bit monster in between.
>>>
Second floor. You ended up having that talk at that diary in the library, and… let them know that that��s where you, and wishcraft come from. It felt important to mention this time.
It was. Nice, how they comforted you afterwards. But, you assured them it was fine and moved on. You can’t accept comfort for that. They’d never forgive you if they found out the truth. No one would.
Still, you made your way to the secret library. And searched the shelves for that book. You hope it has what you need… Perfect!
✦ “Guess what I found! A book on constellations, their rituals, and it has a section discussing Arcanums!”
▲ “CRAB Yeah!”
◉ “Yes! Please, tell us all you can!”
✿ “I wanna know if there’s any magic wish stuff I can do!”
◆ “Yes, if you would be so kind?”
You nod, and start skimming through… Hm. This is rather interesting.
✦ “Okay, so first off, the Arcanum is a construct of sort, that helps focus a specific constellation to our world. But it also says here it… ‘Puts wishes in the hands of the patron star’.”
◆ “What does that mean?”
✦ “Can’t see what this stars name is, gives me a headache trying but… Apparently they act as some kind of. Controlling force? They sort of manage the wishes, make sure they go right.”
Wait, something catches your eye.
✦ “Apparently this involves fixing contradictions, increasing efficiency, and… even merging similar wishes together?”
▲ “Huh. That makes sense. If a bunch of people want the same thing, it makes sense to just bundle it into one.”
… That might be it. Your wish wouldn’t have done this, but if it got mixed into another, bigger wish, then maybe THAT is what’s causing this? But what wish could be doing that… What wish could have enough power to repeatedly turn back time?
◆ “Interesting. Still, if this Arcanum is important to the efficiency, then disrupting it would weaken the king, yes?”
✦ “Maybe? But unless he made it himself, it’s probably back on the island. Still, a wish this intense typically comes with a caveat or two.”
◉ “… Is there a way to check that?”
Hm. That would be useful. You skim through the pages a bit.
✦ “Apparently if we can find an Orrery, they come with ways to trace wishcraft to their constellations. I’ll take the book with us in case we find one, and can cross reference.”
▲ “Sounds like a plan!”
✿ “...Okay, that’s cool and all, but can we get another cool magic ritual?”
Oh yeah, fair, that would be nice! You flip through the pages, seeing if you can find anything interesting...
✦ “Let’s see… Oh, here’s an interesting one. Who here knows how to make a paper crane?”
Nobody except Odile raises their hand.
✿ “...You better teach me, Dile.”
◆ “Sure. Now then, what do you do with them?”
✦ “Apparently, if you successfully fold one thousand paper cranes consecutively, without tearing or damaging a single one, and whisper your wish into each one as you do, on the final one, your wish will be granted.”
◉ “That sounds… Difficult.”
✦ “Maybe, but this is a strong wish! It can do some crazy things. Stuff normally impossible. Like learning a complex skill instantly, Create things from nothing, Gain the power to control the elements, and so on.”
✿ “… I am SO gonna do this one.”
✦ “Interested to see you try! Let me see if I can find another… Oh hey, here’s the favor tree one! Discovered by-”
You freeze in place. That. That can’t be right. You can barely stand straight.
◉ “Siffrin! A-Are you alright?!?”
As you stumble, Isa grabs you. Holds you upright.
That...That was Siffrin?!? You… You killed… You pretended to be… You can’t breathe…
▲ “Sif! Take deep breathes, buddy, in and out, like you always do, come on.”
You-! You-! You…. In and Out. In. And out. In. and. Out.
You're still shaking. You can’t… You absolute monster. You can’t believe….
✿ “What’s wrong Frin? What scared you like that!”
✦ “It-It’s nothing! Just… M-Might have been some backlash from… memory stuff! It’s fine! It’s fine.”
Odile looks at you suspiciously.
✦ “…Just... shouldn't have read about myself... I’ll hold onto the book for now, but I think we’ll save reading until relevant.”
Your family reluctantly accepts, and you start to put yourself together. Those words burning in your mind.
You’d known Siffrin was important, but you never had any idea it was anything more then maybe some notoriety in a field.
If you had known, you’d never have pretended to be him. Masqueraded as him. Dragged his corpse around as a common traveler. Let the scant few survivors you’ve met, even if only in the depths of their subconscious, think that he was still alive...
Discovered by Crown Prince, Siffrin Polaris.
… You really are an absolute monster.
>>>
You are on the third floor. Your family is a little nervous, since you’ve been a little tense since the secret library. And have been taking that tension out on the sadnesses. You’ve started getting a little creative with how you make them kill each other or themselves, and aren’t exactly letting them run away. Or at least, if they do, you make sure they're dead within seconds of leaving line of sight. You don’t let it get in the way though, your family is as safe as always.
Oh. This door.
You’ve seen this odd, star shaped door before, but never gone in. Couldn’t read the text. But. You can now.
The name of the Star Blessed kings shall always be welcome.
… You don’t deserve to say it. To stain that name any more then you already have, by letting this twisted mimicry of it’s last member speak it.
But… There might be something important in there. It feels horrible but...You speak it, barely above your breath.
✦ “Polaris.”
The door opens.
▲ “Huh? Did you say something Sif?”
✦ “Don’t worry about it. Let’s head in.”
You walk in and. Oh! Guess you were right.
✦ “Well that’s lucky. Found our Orrery.”
▲ “Oh, okay! So that’s what that is.”
◉ “Hehe, it’s fun seeing Siffrin be the expert for once!”
✿ “It looks kinda weird. I don’t get it.”
◆ “Agreed. Care to show us how it works?”
You nod, and take a closer look. Even if you didn’t have Siffrin’s memories, mechanical stuff like this is your forte!
✦ “So, it can be used in two ways. The first is to map out how our world looks from the outside in, which is used for a lot of star based things. For reference, this ball here in the center is the sun, and this tiny ball here is where we live.”
✿ “WHAT!! That’s so small!! Why is the sun so big!”
✦ “It's actually scaled down quite a bit. It's much bigger, We’re just really far away from it. If it was accurate, with the sun at that size, the earth would be a pebble, and the distances would make this thing bigger then the entire house!"
▲ “That… Wow. That’s... Way bigger then I thought. I can't even picture that in my head.”
✦ “It puts things into perspective doesn’t it? We’re really just a tiny speck in the scale of everything.”
◉ “It’s a little overwhelming…”
✦ “Really? I find it comforting... Anyways! Let’s move on to the reason we need this… Hm…”
You look around a little bit, find a loose rock frozen in time, and place it against a scanner at the base.
The machine whirrs to life, spinning into the right position, matching when the constellation would be most visible. Then the room grows dark, as a misty circle of shadows forms around you all. You watch as you all go slightly transparent within the crafted illusion, and a series of lights is highlighted against the edge, lines connecting the phantom stars like dots.
▲ “CRAB!!!”
◉ “WHAT?!?”
◆ “GEMS!!!”
✿ “WOAH!!!”
You give them a second to adjust before explaining.
✦ “Look like this ones pretty fancy. Normally it’d just be a projection around it, but this is much cooler!”
You point to the highlighted stars. The whole is overall shaped like a heart with a dagger. There’s a lot of stars in it too!
✦ “There’s the constellation! Let’s see if it matches up to anything in here…”
▲ “This is actually really crabbing cool….”
◉ “It’s really beautiful!”
✿ “I can see through my hands!!”
You search through the book, going through the high power constellations first.
✦ “Oh, yeah, here it is, let’s see if there’s a caveat or something… Oh… That’s…”
◆ “Hm? What is it?”
This… Dear goodness. You knew the king was insane but this is just…
✦ “I’m going to give a warning ahead of time and say this ritual is… Gruesome. The king is clearly messed up to even attempt this.”
The others take a pause, look at the constellation, and nod. You take a deep breath in, and out.
✦ “Take a piece of iron. Mix your own blood, freshly spilled, into it’s metal every day for one hundred days. Then, on the one hundredth day, forge it into a dagger, and then pierce your own heart. Should you survive unaided from dawn till dusk, without removing the blade, it will fuse into your heart. So long as the blade remains and your heart still beats, you will be given the power to see your wish granted.”
Your family is left speechless.
◆ “...Gems alive…”
◉ “That’s horrible!”
▲ “How desperate was he?”
None of you know what to say to that.
✦ “… Guess that means killing him really is the only option.”
◉ “I… I guess.”
✿ “… But we know it’ll work, right?”
!?!?
✿ “I-If the magic stuff only works while his heart's working, then when he’s dead, it’s gonna stop, right? Everything will go back to normal, right?!”
Bonnie is on the edge of tears.
◆ “I… Yes, Boniface.”
✦ “Yeah. It will. And… If they're willing to go that far, then we don’t need to feel bad about it. Someone like that… Would kill to get his way.”
You know that from experience…. Can still remember how they…. You look at the constellation on the wall. Such a twisted ritual. But…
✦ “It says here… that this ritual was once used by the most loyal knights, dedicated to protecting the world itself. Only those willing to risk everything for the people. To bleed and die for the ones they care for..."
A faint memory scratches the back of your mind. Someone you looked up to?
✦ "It’s sick, seeing him twist something like that into this.”
Mirabelle looks at you, determined.
◉ “… We’ll put and end to it.”
...Monsters, twisting what few bits remain of your home into nightmares. The King. And You…
You’d best check your own wish, while you’re here. You place your hand against the monitor. And the device shifts and spins, highlighting the favor tree constellation. You suppose your wish IS involved then. But…
◆ “Checking your own wish, hm?… Why does it look… Cracked, I guess?”
It does. The stars and it’s patterns are leaving cracks on the display. They're also far brighter then it should be. That means it’s likely under considerable strain. Could be a result of the wish going wrong.
But more notably, the stars at the center seem the most strained, and no other stars are highlighted at all... Which means...
The wishes bundled into yours were also done at favor trees. Otherwise, other stars would have been at least somewhat highlighted. And the favor tree isn’t a strong constellation. To pull this kind of power from it, so focused, it would take an absurd amount of will. Which means it was done by many people. But what wish...
✦ “No idea. Still, that’s enough for now.”
That’s a lead to look into. You turn the device off, and the illusion fades.
▲ “Guess we learned a lot, huh?”
◉ “… We did, Didn’t we? Thank you Siffrin.”
You nod. You’re glad they were here to help with this…
But what now? You guess you need to figure out what people wished for at the favor trees. See if you can find a consistent theme, something that would work.
You guess it’s time to head to Dormont… You lead your family out of the room first though. You don’t want to die in a room like that.
◆ “...Before we go any further, Siffrin... Is there something you aren’t telling us?”
Huh?
▲ “Madame?”
◆ “You’ve been acting off since yesterday, have known how to navigate the house nearly on instinct, and clearly have far more understanding of the king and his methods then beforehand. I doubt you learned this Sadness control craft overnight, but it’s not the only thing that’s off. So. Mind telling us what’s happening?”
✦ “… Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”
◆ “… Oh really. So, you’re not dealing with any timecraft yourself, HM?”
Oh. Oh no.
◆ “I had my suspicions for a while, but the way your wish looked back there practically confirms it. You’ve established that Wishcraft can alter time, and you’re practically an expert on that field. If anyone could craft a wish that could turn it back, it would be you.”
◉ “H-Huh?!?”
◆ “Which would explain a lot of things. Your sense of calm, even to traps, your knowledge of where each key in the entire house is, and several other things. How else would you know all this, unless you’ve done it before?”
▲ “That… would explain some things.”
◆ “I don’t mind secrets, but this is VERY important to us. And the fact it looks damaged means that something is wrong, correct? You even admitted a favor tree wish couldn’t do that. But Clearly yours wasn’t normal. So tell me. What. Is Happening?”
… Blind it. She’s angry again. Of course she is. You’ve kept them all trapped here for so long. You greedy monster. This is all your fault. It’s YOUR wish that went wrong.
✦ “… I’m sorry. I didn’t want to trap you all here….”
The others react in surprise, as you confirm her suspicions. And you turn towards a nearby tear.
✦ “...But it’s alright. I’ll fix it soon. And you won’t have to remember any of this.”
◆ “What?!?”
You unfurl your body, grabbing the tear before they can react.
《《《
…Blind it all. You HATE them being upset with you. You KNOW you messed up, seeing them also be upset at you is horrible. You’ve turned this final adventure into a horror story for them.
But it’s fine, right? You’re a very gentle monster. You won’t hurt them. You just need to help them out before you can’t keep up the lie. Then their story won’t be tainted. Then they can have their happy ending, never fearing the monster they escaped.
You just need to fix this, and it will be alright. You just need to fix this, and then they’ll be safe.
✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸✸
Oh, dear researcher, too clever for your own good~ But it doesn’t matter! This whole terrible affair will be over soon.
… Royalty, then? You guess that make sense. Where else would you have gotten the ability to summon something like yourself? Probably stole that power from his corpse in your gullet, back when you were Stardust. A power like that could only be used by those blessed by the red star.
… Hm. A little input from your patron. How interesting~ Guess that confirms it!…
You wonder what kind of nation it was, for their kings to have craft as bloody as that. Combined with that ritual Stardust found, and you’re getting the impression your former home had a turbulent history.
You guess it makes sense if you and Stardust came from there! Where else could such abominations be born?~
...Not that it matters in the end. You both are getting close. Close to finding the answer to this issue. Close to the ending. You can feel it.
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alliumdykes · 11 months ago
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Omg hi ur so sexy and awesome hahaha talk about the game How Fish Is Made hahaha
Omg wow hi person who totally isn't me I'm going to talk about How Fish Is Made and its semi-sequel/next chapter The Last One Then Another.
Spoilers under the cut, this is very long.
Ok so I just LOVE this game sm. Like I am luring you in with haha funny joke for my long-ass essay rant explination thingy.
But I love this game. The feeling of being in the machine. It's both organic and mechanical. It makes the machine feel biological and man-made at the same time. But also neither. It feels wrong. All the fish you meet NEED to know if you choose up or down. It's the most important choice you make. You MUST choose up or down. It leads into a debate about if you should choose up or down, fishes telling you to choose up while another yells at you to choose down because their so smart they were stuck.
You find a fish whos in fear, they can't choose up or down? Do they go up with their best friend? Or down with the rest of their family? They need you to choose for them. You fall down flesh tunnels, fish seeing frozen fish and calling it art. Its so disgustingly human in some way. At one point you need to open a gate, but a fish is stuck in the gears, thinking there was a way to beat choosing up or down. And technically they did. But not through escape. but from being killed by you, you have to kill someone to progress. And you have no choice.
You enter a room full of water, but you can't swim. you can never swim. you must flop.You meet a fish whos tongue had been devoured by Cymothoa exigua, who sings you a cheerful song about how you just have to live with the bullshit that you are put through. After you are put through the song full of parasites there you must continue on your journey. You enter a room full of fish eggs everywhere and you are forced to stop. you get a dialogue text saying "Why do you deserve it? Will you be able to live with it? Try and try and try and try and try again. Ah, those double action hinges have always been there, just for you, right? You'll come back. Everyone does. Weak. Or you'll go looking. one way or another, right? Weak." Before your forced to keep walking, thinking about what you were told. I like to think its some meta-commentary thing, about how we will go look for another ending of the game, if you do something different you will get another, better ending.
This can also be interpreted as how in life if we make a choice, we could choose one. but in the end we will always want to see what happens if we choose something else. Maybe if I did this instead it'll of end out better? Maybe if I do this in this way instead of that it will be better! but it doesn't matter.
You enter a room, with lights and a fish in the middle. They say this is about conviction. But also. They're just a fish in a room with intimidating lighting, they acknowledge this. How do we know that they know it? They just look smart.
When you finally make the choice a fish whos seen the amount whos gone up and down. You ask the fish to go up or down, they say that whatever one they go through that they will tell you what they see. but you don't.
You go through. You get a message that I transcribed here. I like to think that the monologue is about the selfishness that comes with grief. That you feel that you've had it the worse, what you have gone through is worse then what everyone else has gone through. no one else has gone through the same suffering that you have gone through. but its not true. its rude and selfish.
You can get two endings, a large blob when you go up and you become apart of a sandwich if you go down. I think this is meant to be that no matter what you choose, their as bad as each other. But you have a choice, the only good thing is that you have a choice.
Ok now onto The Last One Then Another.
This takes place after the first, and your in a large blob no matter if you choose up or down. You free the blob and start to (quite literally) consume bits of dead fish around you, gaining enough to burst through a shut door. a fish asks to come with you. you can say yes and consume the fish, or you can just leave. this is the only time you can do this, the only time you don't have to consume.
You go to a boat or bathtub (I'm unsure) and you follow the light to a bloody bandaged head where you can only see an eye and the mouth of the man. You can rather leave or consume. You aren't large enough to consume though. so you must leave. You go through this fleshy tunnel where there's a fish feasting on a birthday cake. You have the option to leave or consume. Although but you have to consume to progress. You go back to the main area where a whole is opened in the middle. You go down to see just the eye of the bandaged man after consuming a small fish.
The man tells you a joke that goes like this "Three men are in the hospital. The first man cries 'I lost both my hands, they told me I'll never work again!' The second man wails 'I lost both my legs, they told me I'll never work again! The third man? He rejoices 'I lost my hearing, they'll never be able to tell me I'm fired again'" before laughing and just sitting there.
You go through a thing where it's only able to fit a specific size, you go into a room, with fish parts, a bunch of mouth wash and a fish covered in mouth wash. The fish cries for you to take them with you. Saying that choosing up or down was stupid. or was it left or right? They can't remember. So you take them with you. You go back to the main area and go up to the bandaged and what do you do? You consume him. You have no choice. You must consume.
You then change into a first person perspective cutscene, your a person on a ship giving pain killers to a bandaged man without both hands, without both feet and with no ears. A Deaf man who has no hands and feet, like each of the men in the joke. You feed the man painkillers with the first option being the same mouthwash in the room near the bathtub boat thing. You feed the man the painkillers then get an ad for mouth wash. and then the Cymothoa exigua in friend-os mouth appears asking you to wishlist the game mouthwash.
I like to think the second part/chapter is about over consumption. You must consume consume consume. And the choice you made that was extremely important doesn't matter, because all you must do is consume.
Anyways thats my thoughts :3
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atopearth · 17 days ago
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The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky Part 1 - Journey of Junior Bracers (Prologue & Chapter 1)
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After much encouragement from friends, I've decided to try and tackle this series! The little chibi models are cute. Lmao at little Estelle though, her wanting a fishing pole for a present is so cute. LOL when she thought the boy her dad was carrying was dead and said he looks dead😂😂 I mean, I gotta agree with Estelle that this is definitely not a present hahahaha! Estelle is such a funny child that the first thing she thinks of is this boy being an illegitimate child😂 Estelle's chibi model jumping on the bed indicating her hitting the boy for yelling when he's still recovering is so funny😂 That was quite a long introductory cinematic sequence. Aww there's a little boy on the bridge looking out saying the girl down there is cute! I wonder if there will be a love story considering she has a good feeling about something haha! Lmao at the little reporter girl Claire whose already sold on the love story between Joshua and Estelle. I wonder if it will happen as she says~ Wholesome pasta sounds great but how much is that newspaper Estelle needs to buy for her dad, do I have enough money?! Teenager worries😂 LOL at the notebook of the self-appointed bracer doing babysitting jobs and milking cows, I was like is this bracer job that boring?!😂 Oh wow, so there's only one female Bracer in Rolent! Estelle will be the second one if she passes! Dang, the Mayor's Residence is huge! Lmao at the Alan guy at the port working and checking for women to flirt with. It was fun walking around town talking to everyone Estelle and Joshua knows, it was so heartwarming to see how proud they are of them as well as how clumsy Estelle has been as she grew up haha!
Orbments feel a bit confusing right now, hopefully that clears up soon! Joshua is a very polite boy, I love how he handles Estelle. A little Estelle with a staff in combat is so adorable lmao. Aww they're the youngest ever to become bracers! For now the battles seem not too complicated, but could be tough if there's lots of monsters! Estelle fighting with little kids is so funny😂 Awww the boy on the bridge confessed to the girl under the bridge! Multiple times even lmao. I guess she's right to prefer a more romantic place than this alley with a bunch of boxes but it's hilarious how she's already thinking about how she doesn't want this to be the place she remembers for the confession when she's a granny hahaha. Girl, you're already thinking about reminiscing as a grandma?! I hope it goes well for the boy. I hope the lady's husband who is a miner comes back for dinner, the daughter loves him so they need to spend time together! I hope Freemont gets the approval of his father in law, he sounds very hardworking! Ohh Joshua worked at the weapon shop! That is a great place. Lita the maid at the Mayor's Residence is so cute, I'm glad they treat her like family and take her out to eat! Alan didn't see any cute girls on the flight, too bad for him! But it seems like flights are frequent so I guess he can check the next one😂 LOL the Trent guy at the bar ditched work😂 Aww is Radford the one that the Freemont or something is trying to get approval from? I was wondering where Yuni was! Are Luke, Pat and Yuni in danger? Well, I died trying to go and get a White Bracelet hahaha! I had to redo the whole sewer part but oh well! (EDIT: I'm an idiot and didn't realise autosave exists) Cassius (Estelle's father) coming to the rescue was expected. I'm glad all the kids are safe but didn't expect to need to protect them in battle!
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Radford the old man at the bar is Freemont's father-in-law as expected, I'm happy that Freemont just wants to work harder even though Radford seems pretty harsh. Awww I feel so bad for the little kid waiting for her dad to come back home from the mine🥺 She was waiting for him to come home and eat dinner🥺🥺 I wonder if the new lode they discovered will be important later. I also feel sorry for the wife who cooked so much food hoping he'd be back to eat it. Elissa is so nice to offer Estelle's whole family a free meal like dang, can I take you up on it now?😆 I hope Pat's family are okay, the marital problems because the father Rhett is too absorbed in books and the wife's concern seems sad. It seems like Pat has a good head on his shoulders though. I was wondering what happened to Armand and Ellie and I am so happy for them!! Confessing at sunset on top of the clock tower is indeed very romantic! I guess it was good that Ellie insisted because that sounds pretty sweet! I'm so happy for Serra (Pat's mother) that they all had a good talk and are moving forward properly as a family! I'm glad that even though Rhett is obsessed with books, he makes sure to be a good parent too. Aww Estelle used to stay with Elger (Weapon shop guy) whenever Cassius had to leave for work, they're all so close. It's quite sweet how Radford cares about his son-in-law having to work by himself in the forest and wishes he could go as well but his back doesn't allow him to anymore. He's a big softie and I guess that's why Freemont doesn't hate him.
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Lmao you can chase after chickens and they make noises😂 One of them gave me fresh eggs😂 Even the cow moos😂 It was nice to see Estelle chat with Tio and learn more about how popular Joshua is considering how oblivious she is. Personally, it's understandable why Joshua would think killing the critters at the farm would be for the best, but it's kinda sweet how Estelle and them thought it was okay to just teach them a lesson after giving them a good whack. I don't think Joshua is heartless, rather that Estelle and them are kind. Ooo the girls in uniform have faces to them! I wonder if it's because Estelle and Joshua will go to an academy later on? Poor Rinon is getting weird looks from everyone because his mother is looking for a bride for him and is asking everyone in town😅😅 I'm so glad Lita is so resilient and even the wife Mylene. They got tied up and robbed and they're as strong as ever! Guess you've gotta be quite mentally strong to be part of the Mayor's Residence haha. LOL when you talk to Faulkner with Schera in your party and he gets scared that she's going to get drunk again😂 It was also really funny how Estelle thought the only scary thing is Schera's drinking habits but Joshua thinks Estelle's cooking is just as fear inducing😂 Since there were 3-4 culprits, was it all the academy students that were staying at the hotel? Ah okay, it was just Josette and her sky bandit friends. Seagaro and them are okay hahaha. Kyle looks cool, but I wanted to see Schera's whipping in action😂 I hope Cassius is fine, it's scary to think that his airliner just up and disappeared. Well, I spent most of that Prologue chatting up everyone to see their lives haha!
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On to Bose now! I'm glad to see how resilient Estelle is. It must have been shocking for her to hear her father is missing but I'm glad that to her it just means she'll find him, and as long as Joshua is beside her, she'll be fine. She might not understand the romantic feelings he has for her, but without each other, it definitely feels weird haha. It broke my heart to realise that Estelle's mother died protecting her when they destroyed the clock tower Estelle was at. I agree with Joshua that she can get her mother's strength and be the one to rescue her father now. I was thinking that Schera looked like a dancer! Good to know she was one before becoming a bracer. Even though Luke is bratty, it's kinda sweet how he told Estelle to hurry up and come back. I'm SO glad I got to see Armand and Ellie before we left Rolent. Nice to know that they'll be seeing the Queen's celebration together! LOL I was wondering why Yuni's dialogue was "Papa... I'm only seven years old", the man is trying to be like Rinon's mother and find her a husband already lmao, definitely jumping the gun here😂😂 I'm also very glad to see Frissa and Anya get to have a family meal together with the miner husband before leaving! They've been waiting for their husband/father to come home from the mine so I'm super happy for them! I knew the father would be the mine chief Gaton haha. I wonder if by the time we come back, Rinon will be married😂
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I'm happy for Pat's family that everything seems to be going well. But I'm sad for Maggy, Luke's grandmother, she doesn't get to see her son Ashton since he's always at the checkpoint and Luke is always out🥲 I'm so happy to see that Radford has decided to believe in the man his daughter chose to marry, and Freemont seems to have even more respect towards Radford after getting to learn things from him, so I guess that will be another happy family! Bose is really nice and big! Lmao at the Laundry Pole weapon😂 Ingenious or pathetic? Definitely both hahaha! I didn't expect the Bose mayor, Maybelle to be so young! She looks very passionate and cool. Lmao at the random blond man just playing a song when Schera and General Morgan started fighting. I definitely agree with Schera though, regardless of their circumstances, it's a fact that things haven't been working out well enough (in terms of the search for the missing airliner) that Maybelle has enlisted bracers. Saying you're doing your best isn't enough especially when you're blocking others who have the power to make a difference and assist just because of your own biases.
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Lmao at Olivier saying Estelle isn't sexy and even Joshua agrees😂😂 I'm dying at Seagaro commenting on how his wife is shopping like a crazy woman in Bose Market😂😂 It's kinda crazy how Professor Alba can survive going to all these towers but always need help when Estelle and them are there, like dude those roads are so dangerous and climbing up can be so hard, how did he survive! Anyway, those Robber Trappers at Amberl Tower do crazy damage. Joshua's Flicker skill definitely saved me haha. Anyway this skill is really OP because I've been using it to delay bosses and it's so good, easy kills all around! For now anyway haha! LMAO at Mina the kid telling off Harry for giving up before he even starts saying he'll always fail that way, and telling him he's such a little kid, and then you talk to Harry and he's like can I cry now, Estelle even responds and says yes you can😂😂😂 It's nice to see a very human side to Maybelle, watching her complain about all the paperwork is so cute. Is Joshua related to Ancient Dragons? Is he one himself? He seems to be from the Empire🧐 OMG injustice for the maid Dina! The manager made her work when she finally reserved a table at Anterose to treat herself! The poor girl! The Anterose owner sounds really cool! She basically hand-picked all her staff it seems like and she feels quite eccentric with how she picked the head chef without seeing him haha! LOL I love Harry and Mina. They're hilarious, well mainly Mina, but Harry digs his own grave all the time. It was so funny when Harry asked if Mina hated him and that's why she nitpicks him and she's like I wouldn't be here if I hated you, and then Harry blushes, and Mina's like, I don't like you either HAHAHA. Lmao at Seagaro hoping the flights start again so his wife can finally stop shopping😂😂
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OMG, the girl at the fluffy sponge cake shop, Katrina, I was wondering what was going on with it since a guy used to be there apparently and Gantz (onlooker) has been eating it everyday to notice that the taste has improved, she has such a sad but sweet story. Her fiance was on the airliner that disappeared and she's protecting his shop waiting for him to come back, that's so sweet. She must have known next to nothing when she started because she seemed so confused but tried her best to always smile and now she's thriving! I'm happy for her, I hope we solve this airliner thing and everyone is safe. Even Mirano the merchant we've talked to since Rolent, her father was on the airliner too. Honestly, I have to agree with this Red-Haired Guy. If the airliner crashed then I would be worried about Cassius, but if it's a hijacking, he's definitely fine, he's probably just making sure he can save everyone imo. I really like Ravennue Village, very peaceful and nice with good fruit. I hope the people can come to an agreement though, Pesca's idea of using machines where they can in the orchard would make their lives easier but I can see why Gray wants things kept as is especially if he thinks the fruit quality has gone down. I just want it to be resolved so Lore can go to Bose and reunite with his family haha!
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I wonder if the sky bandits are stealing cargo etc because their country or whatever is lacking in resources or something since there's been lots of burglaries. I was wondering why the Anterose manager seemed so troubled. Lmao at Olivier drinking a legendary wine worth 500,000 mira, yep how indeed is the manager going to face the owner after that lol. Definitely feels like a classic JRPG to get thrown into jail at least once hahhaha. I didn't think Maybelle was also the owner of Anterose! Although I did wonder if she or Mirano owned it hahaha. Definitely makes it much easier to let Olivier out then. And yesss I stole Olivier's gear and stuff before including his quartz so it's great to know that he comes back with it all as if nothing happened! 10/10 recommend being a thief😂 Praise to Anelace for informing Maybelle about them being thrown into jail. Always good to have a bracer friend. Harry and Mina for best couple, they're so cute and funny. I love how when Harry said he's decided to become a merchant and Mina naturally said she'll do whatever she can to support him, best wife already!
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I'm also surprised that the bandits didn't steal anything from Mirano's house, I wonder why. Lmao at one of the house residents, Cecile scaring them off when she thought it was her husband and started yelling😂 Lmao I love Mina's response when Harry asked what she wanted to be in the future and she said "a wife that's filthy rich"😂 Girl knows what she wants, you gotta respect that. Lmao I knew Libro, the guy who kept complaining about Minuet's books gathering dust in Bose Market would get hired by her, the guy was there all the time complaining, he might as well clean😂 LOL I feel so bad for the fisherman Lloyd😂 Poor man was just focused on his fishing and Olivier the creep blows into his ear OMG. Should we arrest him for sexual harassment?😂 Joshua playing the harmonica for Estelle at Valleria Shore felt so calming and sweet. I can imagine how good it'll look in the remake! Elke and Anette, a mother and daughter visiting this hotel every year is such a sweet thing to do! There's something really special about people who go to the same place and stay at the same hotel every year, I wish I could find a place like that!
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Lmao there's obviously more to Olivier than he says, but I really wonder if he was drunk at all or if he really threw up everything and poured a bucket of water over his head to chase after Estelle and them to the Sky Bandits' hideout hahaha. I feel so bad for the hostage, Burrell, it was his first time on an airliner! What an experience. I wonder what's wrong with Don, especially with those red eyes. Seems like Josette is too soft for criminal activity and Kyle just wants money to get his home back. I'm so sad that Schera is leaving, I love her but OMG did she take my gear with her?! Olivier too?! Can they give me my gear back?😭 What is this injustice to poor people... But I guess we got paid decently from Maybelle.. It's understandable for them to leave though since this is Estelle and Joshua's journey and having your mentor with you the whole way wouldn't feel right. Okay YAY, the game was considerate enough to give us the gear back, thankfully! They understand the woes of the poor well. I can't imagine life without Olivier though, gimme my AOE back please.
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Overall, been really loving Trails! Really fun, love talking to NPCs, honestly the best thing about this game. Story is nothing special right now but I'd say the NPCs really make up for it because by interacting them, everything feels so much more alive, it really feels like you're going on a proper journey from being so smothered with love by everyone at home in Rolent, first time going to a city like Bose and meeting different people and realising how different things can be and then helping out in an international incident to develop renown. A very chill journey to becoming a senior bracer and I've enjoyed it the whole time! The only thing that sucks but is apparent through many old games is the amount of backtracking they make you do for the smallest things but it's fine I guess. Turbo mode is definitely a saviour because I don't think I can live without it lol. I also don't think I can live without the NPCs. Reading my post again, 90% of it is just about NPCs LOL. Where is the story? Irrelevant because NPCs are the story for this game and I'm all for it.
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dahoizlovee · 5 months ago
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The Lost Tribes of Pandora | CH.1
Chapter 1 - Cave Navi's
About: THIS IS AN ORIGINAL STORY! This fan-fiction has nothing to do with any cannon characters, it just takes place in the world of pandora. A'kyo like most her age has ignored the war that has plagued her people for generations, now with her sister and cousin in danger she's forced to take matters into her own hands. She will stop at nothing to protect the ones close to her or die trying.
“They're like feral animals really. Owl like eyes with talons on each finger. With exaggerated proportions they resemble alien-like creatures more than other navi. Unknown faces with an unknown name, or at least that’s what my sister tells me. She claims that many other navi tribes cowards at just the sight of our people.”
Deep inside the cave systems on the planet Pandora was a small decorated hole in the wall, surrounded by dead animal skin/furs. Which resided a young girl; lying on the same materials that was scattered around her home. She let out a deep sigh before throwing her writing materials across the room and flopping backwards, staying still in her mimicked bed until the flaps of her doorway were whisked open. 
In walked a giant of a woman, her overly towering physique matched her uncanny beauty. She had one working eye and scars running all over her skin, with coordinating muscles that would put any body builder to shame. The brute goddess walked over and picked up the discarded makeshift book and pen.
“What is this?” she says with amusement in her voice. Refusing to sit up, the smaller girl answers.
“It's for timekeeping, momma told me to start writing down my day to relieve stress, unfortunately it's doing the opposite”
“Oh? is it because nothing important ever happens to you”
She shoots her a warning glare
“I just don't have much to say…why are you here Eula, aren’t you supposed to be getting ready, they can't start without their guest of honor”
“Wow snappy is that all you have to say-”
Eula jumps on her sister's bed and rolls on top of her making her yelp.
“I spend all my time away at war fighting for our peace and all I come back to is you scribbling away-”
“Get off me Eula! I'm serious!- You fat-”
“Watch it!”
Eula digs her elbows deeper in her sister’s spleen.
“As General I command you give me a proper greeting”
“Ok! Ok! My great big warrior sister, I'm so glad your home! Now please- Up! Up! I can't brea-”
Eula quickly slides off her to avoid suffocating her and sits on her floor as she watches her sister catch her breath.
“A’kyo- my favorite sister-”
“Your only sister” she cut her off with annoyance.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready as well” A’kyo didn't say anything, just stared at her with confusion.
“You are performing tonight right? A’fae is looking for you”
“No! It’s not my turn tonight I-…shi-”
Eula holds her laughter as A’kyo hops off her bed and starts searching for her dance ritual pieces that are scattered over the room. Throwing everything on rushing out the dimly lit room and down the rocky pathway.
On foot it took A’kyo several minutes to reach the center of Wa’untsa, which is the equivalent of a big city. Normally it wouldn’t have taken so long for anyone else but she moved her space closer to the back tunnels and away from civilization. A’kyo has never been good at interacting with others.
Once in the crowd she was surrounded by shops, loud noises, and other faces familiar to hers, her people. They continued on with their night like she wasn't standing there in the middle of traffic in her traditional costume with a confused face on. It was hard to see, the cave illuminated bright tonight. She squinted looking around hoping to see her big headed cousin A’fae. But her thoughts were interrupted as her shoulder was yanked back; she turned back with a quickness anger in her eyes ready to put however in their place. Only to meet face to face with her cousin.
“Where have you been!?” 
Her face softens 
“looking for you!” she looks over his shoulder “where’s Khini?”
“The ceremony is gonna start soon, so I told him to hold our spots while i looked for you”
“Oh-”
“Yes oh! Why did it take you all day to get here? I told you to be at the training ground hours ago!” He says in a whisper yell as he turns and walks towards the ceremony.
“Calm down, it's not that serious” she follows suit.
“It is!…it took us ninety-one moons to get let back in the dance circle-”
“That's cause you set a council member’s robe on fire, you were rightfully kicked out…I was booted by association”
 A’fae turns back and stops in his tracks.
“It was not my fault I- where is your festival paint! You look bare! Sick even! You know what, we don't have time for this”.
He yanks her hand before taking off in the opposite direction, running at full speed.
It was dark and quiet, hundreds of Wen’yabawba sat feet to back around an invisible large circle; waiting for the show to begin. Behind a cave wall were a line of dancers waiting for their que, one stood out greatly. At the very end of the line was an unusually tall boy with a matching long nose, sweat dripping from every pore and his ear tucked down. Chewing on his hands as he looked around anxiously waiting.
“Where are they?” he whispered to himself.
“Maybe they fell off a cliff, or broke a nail, or maybe-”
“Maybe they’re just late” a’kyo cuts him off.
Khini's face was almost pale, if it wasn’t for the face paint it would look like he was going to throw up. He opened his mouth to say something but their que was called. Loud banging of drums was all to be heard as they filed out from behind the wall, using their whole bodies in a synchronized dance. Moving fastly stepping and jumping from inbetween sitting Wen’yabawba’s to the center opening circle. 
A’kyo wasn’t the strongest dancer, oftentimes forgetting moves; but tonight she was in total sync with Khini and A’fae. At Least she should be, day and night they've forced her to train for this. No mistake could be taken, since welcoming the tropes home after any battle was a big deal. All was going well until A’fae’s headpiece straps got loose dipped down below his temples, with loss of vision he struggled to keep up with the complicated moves and accidentally grabbed Khini’s beaded chest piece which snapped causing small beads to spray everywhere. Making them both slip, fall, and take down the innocent bystander besides them. One by one each dancer fell like dominos.
A’kyo surprisingly was the last one standing. Truly not realizing what just went down, since her eyes were tightly closed this entire time. She could hear the commotion but decided to ignore it. Afraid she was going to mess up, she had shut them at the beginning to keep up with the beat rather than the people around her. The banging on the drums got louder making A’kyo dance harder, her heart raced in sync and she was glazed in sweat.
The crowd started to get louder as her feet hit the ground, chanting her family name. This was setting A’fae off, how was an untalented dancer like herself able to keep going. And how was everyone loving this, even the fallen dancers were getting back up and cheering for her. Letting the devil on his shoulder win, he stuck his foot out behind her making her trip fall backwards and land right in the lap of Their people’s Tsahik.
Trying to assess the damage she just caused, she looked for reassurance only to see an old hag mean mugging her. Both parties were beyond not thrilled. While trying to get up A’kyo caught her sister in the crowd, failing to not die on her own laughter, making both A’kyo and the elder more mad.
Sitting on a cold hard rock floor forced to be segregated from the rest of the ceremony by a thin tent sheet was how A’kyo, Khini, and A’fae were spending their night. Waiting for their punishment to come, for ruining tonight's event. The cousins of the trio had both of their arms folded with angry expressions plastered on their faces. Khini had to sit in between them to stop bloodshed.
After what felt like forever a very stoic pair of ladies walk in, sharing the same face yet one older and one extremely younger. The older one had hair braided all the way down her back and her calf. She had a consistent face of disapproval along with short nails to show off her senior statue. Ready to deliver the discipline of the night she's the first to sit down in front of the group. Unapologetically smoking from a long narrow grass woven funnel.
“I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for tonight! We didn-”
Khini wasn’t able to get all of his words out before the Tsahik put her hand up silencing him.
 “I’ve notice something while you were dancing out there A’kyo”
A’kyo picked her head up, creating eye contact with the elder.
“You could be so great if you weren’t tied down to these two”
She points to A’fae and Khini, A’fae turns his face up at those words, wanting to spit venom back at the old lady.
“It’s always you three though, causing trouble-”
“Can you just tell us what our punishment is, oh wise great elde-”
Reaching over in light speed A’kyo twist A’fea’s lips up into her grasp. Khini jolts back in fear, physically having to choke down his vomit.
“As you three know tonight wasn’t any celebration, it was extra special because our warriors have come back from gaining victory over the Canco’mot river…unfortunatley you three have soiled this joy filled night, i could go on and on about how you all share the blame-”
“Please spare us”
A’fae interrupted again, this time inviting A’kyo’s death glares.
Tssahik blows her smoke into his face.
“Dishonor! Disgrace!”
“Mother…”
Being interrupted once again except this time by a small whisper that comes from behind them, it belongs to the forgotten girl in the corner; standing as still as a statue.
“We will soon miss the rest of the ceremony”
This girl’s voice was supposed to be saving grace, but A’kyo could only stare daggers into her skull. To A’kyo it would be best if the girl never spoke at all; Fuhara was her name. Short and round faced, covered head to toe in the finest minerals the cave could produce. She was the people’s princess, and bestfriends with both Khini and A’fae. In any other case the repercussion for the trio’s actions would be harsher but because she was there automatically it was lightened. A’kyo could tolerate a lot but Fuhara just wasn’t one of them, she could feel herself lose years off of her life with every breath Fuhara took. 
“Right, you three will go in place of tonight's scheduled gathers, all the way outside!”
The energy in the room shifted, Khini could feel his heart in his ears, tears in his eyes, and his lunch in his throat.
“Oh great mother take me now” he clenches his chest before falling into A’kyo’s arms.
“You can’t do that w-we aren’t experienced gathers…we’ll die!” A’kyo yelled while holding Khini.
“I can't?! I can do as I please, you on the other hand are starting to resemble your cousin”
She notices A’kyo shift uncomfortably in her sea after that statement
“…feeling bouncy?leap!”
She says with hostility as she leans in closer to blow her smoke in A’kyo’s face.
“Don’t make me take back my previous compliment-”
“Take it!” 
A’kyo practically drops Khini to pull herself closer to the smoke polluted wench.
“A’kyo! Mother! Don’t you think this is a bit extreme?”
There were a few seconds of silence before Fuhara’s mother's anger erupted.
“Silence to all of you! I am Tsahik! You aren’t even supposed to be here so hold your tongue!...All of you disrespect! ”
She stands abruptly and struts out.
Wasting no time Khini also gets up to leave so he can throw up his previous fear puke.
A war has plagued the Wen’yabawba’s for centuries, forcing them to retreat to safety provided by the caves on Pandora. Generations never knowing what’s on the other side. So with that knowledge being put out is punishment far worse than death. But now that’s the reality for our main trio, of course they are accompanied by an experienced gather; Chima. Who was annoyed with having to spend his night babysitting three adult babies who won't detach from each other. 
“Hugging won’t get much done” he shouts back while walking ahead.
“I can’t even open my eyes let alone let go, I feel ill!” Khini cried out.
Sandwich in between them was A’fae who looked tired and ready to go.
“Well your missing a lot I can't even put in words how incredible this all is”
 He states as he whips his head around to take the new surroundings. As A’kyo was about to agree with his statement he ripped his body from the safety hug. Away from A’kyo’s grip he ran ahead to Chima making A’kyo curse out for him to get back here. 
“Oh do forgive me elder A’kyo!” He shouts.
“A’fae I have to look over you come back here-”
“Trust me your hands are greatly filled with your courageless scaredy manchild…Mrs.rhythmically challenged!” 
Taking off in a full sprint while laughing knowing he successfully pissed off his older cousin in the way she pissed him off earlier. A’kyo’s whole body was lit a flame with having a mental battle about chasing after A’fae and leaving Khini, finally deciding to not let his comment slide, she let go of her friend and pursued him. 
Three different memories were being made all at once. Khini's fear ridden body was shaking like a leaf in a storm trying to grasp why all of his senses were being flooded. His pupils were dilated in reaction to him trying to absorb all of the outside world. While A’fae soaked in all the pleasures of being able to run non stop without colliding with a wall, allowing him to push his body to the brink of exhaustion.
A’kyo right on his tail trying to keep her built up anger from going out, her night was ruined by her cousin's selfish actions yet the wind on her face and warm wet grass under her toes made her feel more than gleeful. Chima watches this all from a distance. Liking to see the first time reactions of his people experiencing the unknown world, it brought joy to him since very few are exposed to this. 
Well that was until A’kyo finally caught up to A’fae. Jumping mid air like a spider monkey to tackle him to the ground. During their brawl they rolled off a cliff.
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ninjagirlstar5 · 3 months ago
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You've seen me ramble about the problems with Kanade and Chapter 3, so you know how I feel. It really does feel like LINUJ went for pure shock value instead of anything narratively satisfying. I like your take on the idea, where instead of just the shock and horror, there's actual purpose and character behind it.
The twins do really seem like they would be a great cautionary tale of mutual toxicity and obsession, and I like the idea of them reuniting only because there were people in need during The Tragedy.
And I admit I'm biased, but I'm always happy to see more stories where Hibiki actually survives ^^
OH yeah, I have. I've read most (if not all) of those asks on the ASOOT blog as they were coming out and it made me realize how bad SDRA2's Chapter 3 is. And when I actually sat down to play the game myself with my friend, I went from knowing that Chapter 3 is bad to actually experiencing how bad it was for myself. Like, it went from, "Oh, it's kinda okay so far, but I know the shoe is gonna drop at some point-" to "OH WOW, it really IS that bad, dear lord." Like, Jesus Christ, this chapter was...a lot and yet full of nothing at the same time beyond just shock value. It's not as if the whole serial killer thing couldn't have worked, the problem is that all the people that's closely connected to the case gets axed all in one go, and it's kinda just...never brought up again. Like, come on. If you're going to go THAT far, at least give it SOME kind of importance to a character connected to this shitshow, like Hibiki. Who got killed off alongside Kanade. Like, thanks, I hate it. There's so many things wrong with Chapter 3 and how Kanade was handled that the best thing to do for both is to just rewrite it all from the ground up. So when my brain started giving me ideas on how it could be rewritten, I decided I needed to get it out of my system and tried to approach it in a more human and complicated way than something as twistedly evil to the point of shock value. Kanade is at least more pitiable here since you can actually understand her on SOME level but never excuse her actions as she's still toxic in her right towards Hibiki (who's also toxic to her in return). She's just not being a serial killer about it.
AND YEAH, that's pretty much what I was going for for them. I wanted to keep the nuances of their relationship on how they're mutually toxic to one another since that's very interesting to see. There's no such thing as a "perfect" victim, as there are many that have done messed up things in response to what they've been put through but still desperately needing help or even an intervention from a reasonable authority figure, and Hibiki and Kanade could've been great examples of that. But one actively chooses to change while the other doesn't...at least in one of the interpretations of how their rewritten relationship could end as would be revealed in the Chapter 6 version of this. Ngl, I wasn't sure which interpretation I liked more as I can see both versions happening, with Kanade and Hibiki coming back together through the Tragedy as some events are able to give people an opportunity to bond and mend what's broken back together again, while other times not even a world-wide disaster will get someone to change and things remain broken due to one side having an unwillingness to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. Both are feasible in this rewritten version and I decided to let this be something for other people to decide for themselves on whether or not Kanade and Hibiki can mend their relationship after being separated for so long and if the Tragedy can bring them back together through their charity events. After all, some people have their limits and Kanade still did a lot of horrible things to other people, so it really depends on whether or not you'd believe it'd possible for them to repair their relationship, even after so many years of not talking to one another. A possible rebuilt of their relationship that unfortunately gets nipped in the bud thanks to Mikado's killing game reverting them back to a state where their old toxic behavior was at it's peak, and one of them ending up killing and getting executed because of it. Either way, we could've had doomed siblings instead of...whatever the fuck canon is.
And trust me, me and my friend are right with you on that. We really wished Hibiki had survived and complain about it every now and then whenever we bring up Kanade and Chapter 3. It's just...such a waste to kill her off like that. My girl deserved better.
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sk8termikey · 7 months ago
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Chapter 1 of 21 Questions
*lily pov* looks better on wattpad btw
Lily was actually surprised to see that the last stranger she texted had answered so quickly – she was assuming that it was either someone living in the US or just someone with a really messed up schedule.
*********
Heyy stranger, wanna play 21 questions? :)
Hello there :) I don’t have anything else to do rn so sure, let's play
A smile appeared on Lily’s face as she was happy that someone had finally replied to her after so many failures. However, doubt was clearly felt as a part of her really wanted to start chatting with the person on the other side of the screen and the other part was planning to sleep. Fuck it, she thought. She was starting work a bit later than usual as it was Wednesday tomorrow so she quickly opened the text and started typing back.
**********
Omgg finally someone answered😭 
I’m so happy rn
Anyways
My 1st question is a very important one
What’s your favourite season?
Oh that’s an easy one
Fall for sure
Kind of a bummer spring has barely started
The vibe has been passed
Really?
Yeah absolutely
Fall is my favourite as well like just not too hot, not too cold
Just the atmosphere in like october/november is so cool
I totally get what you mean, my brother LOVES fall
He’s a huge halloween/pumpkin fan
Oooh sharing personal info with a stranger
Your mom didn’t teach you well haha
???
You’re the one texting strangers in the evening
I’m only joking dw
I’m sure your mom is great
She’s the best actually
Follow up question as we came on the family topic
Do you have any siblings?
I’m an only child unfortunately :((
But my best friend has been in my life for like 8 years
So she’s the sister i’ve never had ig
That’s so cool when friends end up feeling like they’re family
Such an awesome bond
Exactly, best feeling in the world
I wouldn't trade her for anything else
(maybe a 1d reunion but i can’t go without her tbh)
Ig you have siblings as well?
More than the halloween fan brother?
I have 3
Quite a big family but they’re amazing
Wow that’s a lot of guys in the same house
Wait idek your gender
If that’s ok to ask
Is that your 2nd question? 🤨  But ofc it’s ok, no problem I am a guy, you guessed right
Yay i’m so good at this
Just my instincts of like ‘i do not want to think ab you being a poor girl alone w 3 brothers’ lol
And i am a girl btw
If you were gonna ask
I was yes, you saved me from writing another text
As if writing to me is annoying
I’m a pleasure to talk to
According to my teachers 10 years ago
10 years ago?
I hope you’re not some like 35yo woman who finished school that long ago
I mean you did say ‘girl’ so i would say you’re maybe a teenager?
I’ll take that as YOUR 2nd question
I’m not a teenager anymore unfortunately
Fucking adulthood has started recently
I’m 19 but 20 soon
Same
Just people with the mind of teenagers having to act like adults so suddenly
Took the words out of my mouth
It was to be expected but like so unexpected at the same time bc you never know time is passing that quickly
Yeah… let's just go back on more light-hearted topics
Too soon for deep ones like life, time and growing up
100% agree
We're getting to know each other
Since you're an adult, do you have like any piercings or tattoos??
Hmm i have my ears pierced and one arm tattooed
That is sooo cool like patchwork or a themed full sleeve?
Kind of both bc they're related to the same thing i would say
Which is my family
But the styles can be a bit different
You have any?
Tattoos no, unfortunately😔
I want one so bad but it's hard getting prepared to have it permanently on your skin
Bc like i have several piercings
8 on my ears as well as a nose ring
But i can remove them whenever i want and bam they're gone in a few weeks
Piercings are actually so cool
And you match with my brother btw (the halloween one)
He has a nose ring too plus a stud
Omggg
I feel like this brother of yours is gonna be my favourite
He’s great, you could like him and he probably would like you too
Real question is do YOU like me?
Technically it’s my turn to ask a question but the one i have will decide my answer to yours
‘Technically’☝🏻🤓
Sorry go ahead
Are you a dog or cat person?
This is very important so reply carefully
Oh
I feel like you’re not gonna like what i have to say
Bc seeing as you put dog first
I’m going to say that you’re a dog person
Which i’m not…
Well
It was a pleasure talking to you
Farewell stranger
Wait what
Bro
read
Wtf
read
I’m not apologising tbh
Bc i love my cat with my whole heart
He’s the best
I hope you were joking bc our convo was fun
Delivered
Anyways, bye then-
Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story ;)
<3
The story is co written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad
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hikennosabo · 1 year ago
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trimax vol 12 random thoughts
okayyy i'm FINALLY done with all the art i had to do this week so i can focus on writing this post lol. this volume is so much, i don't know if i want to read it again...
i love that vash is ourple on the cover <3
chapter 1:
i like domina, she's cute. tbh i wasn't sure whether she was a plant at first because i assumed they were all blonde...
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wait, pause, tell me about this. what are the circumstances of the other plant fusion incidents. were they rebelling against humans, same as knives? or were there other reasons??
vash's black hair is so STRIKING. i'm sad about it but i also kind of love how it looks...
the memory montage has been talked about like a dozen times by now, so idk if i can add anything that hasn't already been said... LOL. there's some deep cuts in here, i don't even remember them all... it really speaks to vash's memory of people. and there are anime-only characters too, which is cool! part of me wants to go through each page and label everyone but... nah.
ik they've taken a bit of a backseat in the latter half of the manga, but i feel like meryl and milly's section should be larger. :( and for that matter, legato takes up a lot of real estate on his page?! that's kind of unexpected... although legato and vash DID have that seven-month-long psychic battle... and i guess legato is on vash's mind rn because of the coins... so i suppose it makes sense...
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a few things about the ghg page - first of all, WHO is that on the top right?! is that supposed to be elendira??? is it??? because it's not like vash doesn't know what she looks like, they've met face to face!
secondly... livio. this is his old self. face in shadow, skull mask visible. i don't think this necessarily means vash still views livio like this; that's unlike vash. livio's face is obscured while his mask and long hair are highlighted, both things that he has discarded along with his identity as a gung-ho gun. this is vash remembering the gung-ho guns specifically. it IS a bit sad that this is what livio gets... i suppose drawing him twice might've been redundant, but still...
a bunch of people have already pointed out wolfwood's grave being depicted next to rem and given equal weight/importance (page space) as her, so all i'll say is that scrolling through the pages and expecting to see wolfwood but getting hit with his grave instead was a fucking gut punch that i DID NOT need.
anti-plant missiles... so plant incidents have been common enough that they'd need to be built in the first place, and built into the fleet at that...
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so they CAN be broken apart?! i see...
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domina is so funny.
the ark just straight up vanishing really had me think for a second "wow! so that's the power of thor's hammer!" but no it just teleported. LOL
knives... oh, knives... he's looking less and less like a person. i'm probably supposed to be horrified, but i'm just sad.
chapter 2:
knives is the first creature in the universe to warp... wow... he's so talented~ i'm proud of him~
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domina is so CUTE!!!! it's too bad what happens to her right after this... and it's impressive how likable she becomes in just a few short scenes. it makes her death more effective than it would be otherwise.
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nothing to say, i just think they're cute.
knives putting his feelers out to interfere with the earth fleet was brought up in... volume 9, i think... so it's not like this was completely unexpected. (also "feelers" is kinda cute... like a bug...) wow... knives is fighting so smartly~ i'm proud of him~
i speculated a few volumes ago if knives would try to "save" the earth plants, but he just want to kill them... or at least kill the independents. i still feel like i don't have a full picture of what it's like for plants on earth or the relationship between humans and independents. either way, it's unconscionable to knives that independents would work with humans like this...
chapter 3:
perhaps i shouldn't laugh but shooting straight up into the air is such a dumb thing to do. haha get rained on idiots.
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brad is stunned at their idiocy, lol.
chronica worrying over domina is sweet. she's not always "cold and calculating"...
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i love how this spread is framed, with the black bars on the top and the bottom. it's cool.
and the double meaning of the chapter title. "the interceptor"... knives intercepting the earth fleet and vash intercepting knives's connection to the fleet...
uhhh... i don't have that much to say about this chapter...
chapter 4:
the universe conspired to deal me massive psychic damage by having 'brother' by gerard way start playing on shuffle while i was rereading this bit... i don't NEED this right now!!!!!
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NOT THE IMAGE OF THEM AS KIDS
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I'M EATING ROOOOOCCKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!
people have already pointed out knives covering his eyes (and vash covering his own with his sunglasses), it was a fucking punch to the gut the first time i read this chapter and it still is and i am fucking EATING!!!! ROCKS!!!!!!
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is that REALLY the reason why you don't want to see your brother's corpse, knives?? is it really???
people have already talked about vash's little gunman speech so i won't say too much about it, except that it's fitting that we started this story with vash being just that - a gunman - we didn't even know about him being a plant - and now vash is determined to end this story as a gunman. well, "end," sort of. there's still 2 volumes left.
also, we're recycling chapter titles again for some reason... we already had a chapter titled "the gunslinger" in volume 6...
chapter 5:
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should i call these their "teenage years"? ...i'm writing that in my notes.
i wish i could express my emotions about the plant twins beyond incomprehensible screaming and eating various things (rocks, glass, drywall...) because then i might have more substantial things to say LOL...
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the virgin "did you really just shoot me?!" 98 knives vs the chad "if you're going to shoot me, improve your aim" manga knives
y'know, up until now, i never really bought the claim that "tristamp made knives more morally grey," because i was thinking along the lines of "the morality of his actions didn't change, orange just took a magnifying glass to his emotions, so he's easier to sympathize with," but... they COMPLETELY changed the context of knives cutting off vash's arm, huh?! i guess they DID make him more morally grey...
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he's ready to go down with knives. if you'll excuse me, i'll be crunching on some more rocks.
chapter 6:
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can't help but remember baby knives saying "we can work through a few little differences if we just talk to each other" :')
trying to talk to the plants... yeah... good idea! it's too little too late for knives because EVERYTHING is for him, but... it's a good idea!
okay, so the story of the village. they got kicked out of the city for being "contaminated," so they built their own village and had to resort to stealing from travelers to survive. right... chaining vash up is pretty extreme but i suppose it's indicative of their level of desperation. (especially since vash still looks like a teenager, like, as far as the villagers knew, the person they attacked was just a normal human kid...)
obviously this story doesn't move knives in the slightest, but even with the explanation for the villagers' actions, the bit about "the contaminated humans being kicked out of the city" is a different example of human cruelty that knives could've spat back at vash, lol. like, they were kicked out, and just left out there to die i guess? with no resources or plan to supply them with anything? except for the lone girl who seemed to be bringing canned goods back, but 1. this wasn't a regular thing for her since she hadn't been back in three years, 2. she was literally the only person trying to help, and 3. it was just luck that she wasn't contaminated to begin with - if it weren't for that there would be NO ONE trying to help. not trying to justify knives's worldview or anything but i just think this is interesting because even though now we know and understand the villagers' situation, there's still an undercurrent of human cruelty in this story, and that's something that can't be erased and something that knives invariably clings to to justify his actions.
and his worldview gets even further reinforced in this moment because the military starts shooting at the ark lmao. but then it's vash's friends to the rescue...! the takeaway from all this and the entire ethos of this story as a whole is "humans are complicated," they're not all bad and not all good, vash acknowledges that and tries to see it, and knives does not, blahblahblah it's been said a hundred times...
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microorganisms :)
someone in the tag pointed this out already, but the way the earth fleet talks about independent plants is weird. "salvage," "persona," "repair"... that's weird, right? in my last post i said they were giving like, advanced-AI-robot vibes, and this is doing nothing to change that impression. but they're made of flesh and blood...
chapter 7:
knives is wrong about human nature but there sure are a lot of humans in this story who piss me off. fuck you, military guy!!
we all knew that vash was going in to this fight prepared to die, that his plan is to bring knives down with him, but actually seeing him bleeding so much... hurts.
LIVIOOOOO!!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!
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he's so cute, what the fuck!!!! "i'm mr livio"?!?! oh my god. i'm sobbing. he's so cute.
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gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. manipulate, mansplain, malewife.
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this image of a single man facing down an entire military...!!! he's so cool!!!!!! also he's kinda caked up too
and he just bowls through them like it's nothing!!! i LOVE watching him fight, livio is one of the coolest fighters in this entire story, i'm so glad we get to watch him kick some ass!!!
chapter 8:
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they said it's just a projection, but this is what i was imagining the "consciousness" of the merged plants to look like...
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no concept of the self except for independents, i suppose. so do all plants think the same? last volume, vash said something about billions of thoughts being "exchanged," so there is SOME mental distinction between individuals, i think...
i wonder what information chronica is gathering from this, exactly. just the essentials, since time is limited? or all of it, every single detail?? knives's past and trauma included??
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he's talking as if this is a mercy. i wonder if that's really how he's justifying this to himself.
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oh, just this panel by itself is a fun dynamic. i don't actually expect elendira to live to the end (sadly...) but i AM looking forward to seeing these two fight again. interestingly, she doesn't seem surprised that livio is still alive...
this last bit of the chapter feels like all the dominoes falling at once, lol. elendira and livio, chronica and knives... and then BOOM! LEGATO JUMPSCARE!! ...from. seemingly nowhere. where did he come from. also i still don't know what to make of his... iron maiden... giant matryoshka... i don't know what or who this is!! it's driving me nuts!! is it going to be explained?!?!
chapter 9:
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it's SO funny that vash says this because I WAS ALSO WONDERING THE SAME THING!!! the previous volume put so much emphasis on the coins that i assumed vash would fight legato FIRST and THEN move on to knives. but he never wanted to fight legato to begin with, so it makes sense that he'd skip right to knives LOL.
knives GRINNING when the earth ship appears and then staring straight down the barrel of their cannon... he's not afraid at all. dare i say this scene is pretty cool. knives and chronica are now on even ground in terms of knowledge about each other, and knives probably knows this, but he's still so confident. and then the cannon fires and he BLOCKS it. i shouldn't be complimenting him so much in this post. but i must give cool credit where cool credit is due. this scene is COOL!!!!
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oh, so this IS how his powers worked all along, okay... i was confused. i guess this means his power in tristamp is different... because it's clearly NOT strings... it's just straightforward telekenisis i think... hmmm...
... i'd previously heard about what legato's backstory entails, but actually seeing it...
...
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knives isn't even visible in this spread. legato hasn't even seen knives yet. but the framing of legato looking at the vast sky, the light, is evocative enough.
legato being able to even control knives with his strings... well, he was able to (somewhat) control vash, so it makes sense that he could, but i've never really thought about the implications until now. under different circumstances he could've been a massive obstacle to knives, if not outright stopped him.
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new hair, new outlook, right?
and okay, sure, it's likely that knives's train of thought was "i could use this power for myself, so i won't kill him," but i want to believe there was something else... legato was used and abused by humans, and knives isn't stupid, he can see that just from looking at the state legato's body is in. so maybe knives recognized there's a kinship between them, even if he'd never admit it... i dunno, it's just, his expression here... it's hard for me to describe, but it's something...
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oh, this is making me feel something. this is implying knives gave legato his name, right? that's... oh man. i want to say that it was kind. i don't know if i can call it a bond, but their relationship, whatever it is, is deeper than i imagined.
"...but in that moment, i was reborn." new name, new life, new purpose...
on a lighter note, now i'm thinking about where legato's name actually comes from, and i'm remembering this comment from nightow:
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i want to believe knives thought the same thing... LOL. as for "bluesummers," "blue" obviously came from his hair, but "summers"... i want to say maybe it was summer at the time of this flashback, but i'm not actually sure if this planet has seasons...? do they ever say if it does??
oh, legato... my legatito... i should've known he'd be one of my favorite characters the instant he showed up in tristamp voiced by kouki uchiyama LOL. i've laughed at him a lot and made fun of him a lot but i really do genuinely love him.
i fully do not expect him to live to the end... but i'm looking forward to seeing whatever else he does before he goes...
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night-market-if · 1 year ago
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Hi there !
I just came here to say that I read the entirety of the Night Market yesterday. Before my final exam. Instead of studying. A wonderful decision, really.
More seriously, I need to say this : this. This is a work of art. This shook me to my core. The way you describe everything is wonderful. And the story. The characters. Oh my god the world you created is so full and complex and you can see so much of your love for it through the writing, and it's not a perfect world, nowhere near it, but the characters in this world care and it's enough. The main cast, no, everyone really, is so human. So likable (except some obvious villains, whom are still incredibly interesting in their motivations, and also their madness the Lord of Dolls is an incredible example of this), so full of mistakes, with backstories so complex and unique, and I want to hug them because they need it but also slap some of them because they're so dumb *cough* Milo *cough*, which, I think, shows a lot about how well written a character is.
Now, onto the spoilers and the last chapters. I'm screaming. So so so not okay right now. I swear I ended the last chapter, read the last word, and went "how the fuck am I supposed to go to my exam tomorrow and be normal about this ???". Like. The way each plot twist was for me unexpected but shed light on so much stuff. Like, wow. Every bit that I was like "oh wait that's genius". One thing, even. In one chapter, when MC says to Milo "I hate them. The one who brought me there." and Milo had a strange reaction I said "oh imagine if he's the one who brought us there haha that would be fun". Let me tell you I wasn't laughing later on in chapter 11 after discovering that this funny thought, fastly forgotten because hey, I was never great at theories, this funny thought WAS THE GOOD ONE.
You are so so so so so so talented and I love your universe and everything and I'm destroyed in the best way possible and you gave me so much motivation about working on my own book and I will buy it I will buy the full game I will buy every one of your games just take my money. This is incredible. You are incredible.
Thank you so much for Night Market. I will read it again (because I don't have anymore exam ha). And sorry for the long rant, but I really needed to share how much I loved your if, and your writing ! Also sorry if any of this sounds strange, english isn't my first language !
With that, I hope you have a nice day/evening/night ! Take care of yourself !
I hope your exams went amazing!!! I do not miss those years. LOL
First off, thank you thank you thank you! The gushing was what I needed to sign on to. I always get so excited when readers get what I've been trying to convey. These flawed characters, all of which have lives and a past, are so very important to me. I know the typical way to do things is to write a story revolving around the MC but I would much rather write a story where MC goes and just experiences the world and the people in it.
As for being fooled by Milo, someone on discord put it great. You are blind to the ones you love. The truth of Milo has been laid out for some time. From chapter one, really. But, it was hard to see because of the kind of person he is. I am so excited to explore that in book 2.
Thank you for spending the time to write all this out. It has filled me with all the warm love. :)
And as for the Dollmaker? He will be a "villain" we will be seeing more of.
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ineffable-snowman · 5 months ago
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Fic Tag Game
Thanks for tagging me @gingiekittycat 💜
I already did this a few months ago (and somehow managed to find it on my blog, wow!), so I've copy pasted most of the answers and updated some of them.
How many works do you have on ao3?
fifteen
2. What's your Ao3 word count?
403,077
3. What fandoms do you write for?
right now I'm not writing much, just occasionally trying to work on my Good Omens wip.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Maybe Someday - 1,114 kudos
Trouble Man - 853 kudos
Pet Psychopath - 738 kudos
Match Made on Earth - 616 kudos
Partners, Accidentally - 571 kudos
5. Do you respond to comments?
I try, because I think interaction is important to keep a fandom "alive" (even if often I don't know what to say apart from "thanks for reading and commenting"). That reminds me that you, @gingiekittycat, sent me the nicest comment and I still haven't responded yet, will do now right away!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't write angsty endings. But some readers didn't agree with me that Match Made on Earth had a happy ending, so I will pick that one here.
7. What's the fic your write with the happiest ending?
They all have happy endings, but the ending of Four Chord Songs and Sentimental Lyrics is particularly sappy. I was wondering if that love song in the last chapter was *too much*, but then I thought: nope, it's Anakin, *too much* is his personality trait.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Some months ago I got two very rude anon comments on one of my Obikin fics accusing me of horrible things. The accusations felt pretty generic and did not fit that particular story at all, so probably from someone who had not even read the summary, but they still left me a little shaken. Fortunately, the people in the Obikin discord were really kind about it and helped to cheer me up.
Back on FFNET I received the occasional "ew, they're not gay, why would you write that?" Also there were some people who were angry at the way I wrote Obi-Wan, saying things like "how can you say he's your favourite character and then characterise him as weak/flawed/incompetent... and make so many bad things happen to him?"
BUT, all in all, fandom has been a positive experience and the many good interactions far outweigh the odd rude comment.
9. Do you write smut? What kind?
Does one awkward sex scene per multi chapter fic count? (No.)
10. Do you write cross-overs?
No.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't think so, not that I know of.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, a long time ago on FFNET when I still wrote Harry Potter fic.
13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Yes. Would love to do it again but I'm a very slow writer and would hate to leave someone waiting for too long.
14. What's your all time favourite ship?
I feel like Obikin is the "correct" answer because I always come back to them.
15. What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Step into Christmas with me. So far, I've managed to add two chapters every season. If I continue at that pace, I might finish it in two more years...
16. What are your writing strength?
Beginnings and endings.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
The long middle parts that always become too long and repetitive.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I don't really like it because it takes me out of a story. I don't want to check footnotes or use google translate in the middle of reading. I prefer if it's done with descriptions or dialogue tags matching the perception of the pov character, for example, if the character doesn't understand Spanish but I do, it's better if it's written like "...she said something in Spanish that sounded like a question to him" instead of writing down the actual question in Spanish.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Just for myself: Harry Potter. Posting online: Star Wars.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Servants of the Force is definitely not my best writing but it's still my favourite fic anyway because I've never put so much effort into a fic before and I'm proud that I finished it.
tagging @chanihobbit, @saddybildaddy, @sky-kenobye, @ineffableobikin (no pressure tags!) and everyone who wants to do it (again).
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gamerkats · 9 months ago
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Thank you for the writing guru asks, but we're not answering all of them. A few maybe, when we have the time. Please understand, we're NOT writing gurus!!!
GamerKAts doesn't give advice!!!!! Because we have no advice to give!
You don't want to listen to us! We break all the rules! Most people hate our work! Enough to take the time out of their busy hate schedules to tell us they do. We have more follows than reads. Honestly, we have no idea why 90% of our follows are even here.... Is it the cat posts???
Why would any of you asks think we know anything????
There are thousands of writing advice posts, a few even from successful authors, consult them. They're begging for the attention; they'd love it!
We actively don't follow anyone's advice. We see advice and go around like avoiding a sinkhole. Trust us, no mind trick, we're not the droids you're looking for.
Advice: "Don't break the fourth wall." Us with a sledgehammer looking through the hole we just made: Wow, look'it that! There's so much more space for my narrator to talk on this side!!! Advice: "Here's what to do for your readers! Here's what readers like! Here's how to make money!" Us posting for free on AO3/Wattpad with the WORST tags to find it: Welcome stranger. You lost? Welp, you should know, if you can't handle this weird, stay tf off our lawn! And no solicitors!
Advice: "Don't write morals in your work." Us writing morals: Well, since the world is a tire fire in a dumpster fire because of ADULTS, who obviously don't magically have a moral compass when they turned 18, we're gonna write about the dichotomies of right and wrong. BECAUSE WE CAN! Advice: "Grammar!!!! Don't change your tenses!!!!" Us grinning madly as we write: Gods! It's so nice to not talk to cops, especially the literary police! Otherwise, we'd be pulled over for HOURS trying to "get this right". Advice: "Research is more important than book logic."/"Book logic is more compelling than research." Us: Both Tolkien and Lewis were published..... So.... Advice: "Don't spend a long time describing things! Don't spend a long time in dialogue! Don't write long chapters! Don't write over 100k!" Us: Sorry, can't hear you over the sounds of our not listening. Advice: "Stop writing porn without plot and selling it!!! Write real books!" Us: Ummm, ok, but porn without plot sells though..... And 'real' books kinda....don't..... So.... Write porn without plot to support real books 'cuz even most pirates pay for booty???? Advice: "This is how you should write. And if you don't, you suck so dni." Us: Sorry, what were you just saying? For some reason the song 'What's Up, Duloc' was playing real loud and we missed it.
We're feral, and unmanageable. You don't want to be like us.
What you actually want is someone to remind you why you started writing in the first place. You want permission to keep trying. You want a cheerleader to scream keep going. You want to know you're not alone, you're not dumb, and you're not wasting your time.
And guess what, we can't tell you that!!! You have to tell yourself. We can't fix you, because you're not broken. You're alive, and that comes with a lot of ups and downs, stops and go's.
Writing is like the Sun. Sometimes it's hidden behind clouds of doubt and depression. Sometimes it's too intense, on top of everything else in your life, so you can't enjoy it. Sometimes it's night, go to bed damn it! Writing stuff in the moonlight is how you get the weird shit!
But no matter what, no matter how long it's been, no matter how unpublished, no matter how rule breaking, no matter how unread, writing will still be there. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, writing will orbit your day in wait, whether you acknowledge it or not.
Just running its course in the veins of a writer who spent so long in imagination-land, they forgot that in reality they mattered. They forgot they were important. Brilliant. Successful. Amazing. Talented. They forgot that the most important part of writing isn't the endless advice, it's actually WRITING!!!!! Literally anything! Because guess what? Writing shitposts and how you like blueberry muffins IS WRITING!!! Just a kind that doesn't get the credit it deserves because of gatekeepers who have no business being on guard duty.
So, you never stopped writing, you just started taking yourself for granted. Blame socmed for making the world's most screwed up leader boards. Where reads, likes, comments, and reblogs are a fucked up point counter system that people measure their worth with.
Remember the school yard days when one friend was enough? Remember how playing alone with your toys was enough? Because back then YOU were enough????
Yeah. Think about that. Or better yet, write about it.
So, no advice for you from us!!! You don't need it. Get out there tiger, and give 'em hell! You got this! Don't just be bad, be the WORST! And maybe one day, you'll feel good enough about yourself to be writing advice for others we can also ignore. 😊
"Titty, dicks, and assy pics,
AI sucks and can't write fics."
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micah-write · 1 month ago
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Chapter 1 part 1
Here comes the expected odd witch comic critique !! Since we have more content I can properly begin to critique it
@oddwitchcomic
Tho before I start critiquing the comic , mare there's a huge issue for your fan base, the comic doesn't have a unique tag to find it wich will make fanart , fanfiction critiques ect very hard and your audience won't be able to make content about your comic easily , you should really establish a unique tag so your comic doesn't get lost and your audience can actually interact with you and your content .
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I really like it !! It's a great cover that teaches us many things
Background wise we learn that it's a world that mix technology (probably some kind of magical/fantasy technology) and a very old time fantasy and we see that trough the towers on the left and the more rustic houses on the right
I like how Winnie is crunched down and is picking up mushrooms, we learn that she's a very down to earth person in connection with nature and her outfit is indicating she's probably from the more rustic side of this world she has gloves wich could indicate that she fights with her hands rather than magic hence why she would be a "odd" witch
The second character is turning their back to Winnie, wich shows us we don't know them yet and so does Winnie, they have a very clean uniform and a gun showing us they're most likely from the technology side of that world . The long hair could be purely a design Choice or in that world hair could be an indicator of someone status in society.
I also like how they're the one facing the world while Winnie is hidden could be significant and show us that they're known while Winnie isn't and is maybe even a pariah to society
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I really like the backgrounds !! As it seems mare worked really hard on this aspect of the comic , she also visibly worked on the goo on the ground and did a great work for the lighting and shadows wich can be a real pain in the ass hahaha tho I do admire how she want a very highly professional looking comic (marvel/DC style) so I really hope this won't lead her to burn out
I like how we visibly see her hair under the effect of gravity , idk if it's intentional so I find interesting how easily the goo falls off her , maybe will become relevant later in there comic
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I really like how she takes the time to put sounds effect and show us it's a very multidimensional work , she obviously put a lot of work in it and it's admirable , I really like the consistency of the backgrounds we see she took her time to define the environment and choose how she wanted Winnie to wake up
As she does she has a quite blank expression signifying she might not be used to be awake (perhaps not used to be alive as well ?)
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In the fifth case I'd like to see Winnie more impacted by the intense beam of light that's right next to her lol but it's a pretty small detail that can be worked on , I feel like mare is still a bit unsure of how she want to shade/light her comic but with her level of skills I'm not worried and I have hopes she will find her style and do better lighting in the future
I like how Winnie features stay consistent trough the angles mare show us , she's telling us here "look that's Winnie that's her expressions" and I like that , it's important to be able to show off your characters in simple actions/expressions and work on how colors affect them
Also see how mare doesn't whitewash Winnie? Very demure (it's a joke lol)
I also like how we get to see the environment trough Winnie, it's not forced we are simply spectators of her journey
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Wow strong speech , I like how the characters is a catalyst of some sort clearly telling her she HAS to go forward I also really like the colorful design !! I'm hoping to see more of them cuz it would be a design gone to waste otherwise.
In case 2 tho I have a small critique about the fingers , they're slightly too long compared to the hand , and since they're on a similar plane of perception (ik it's not the right word I just can't remember the English one) it look a bit odd but it's not too bad
I like how trough the panel Winnie looks confident but then step back and try to go back from where she came it's interesting to see she's fierce but knows when to back up . And all the poses are far from stiff or boring everything is very lively and interesting
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Unfortunately the lighting is very lacking here , Winnie is directly facing the light as shown on her nose and lips so she should have light hitting her cheeks as well , a simple detail to be careful of !!
Over all I think that the odd witch comic is on a strong beginning and if mare is ready to push trough it and work hard on the style lighting ect then go for it !! Maybe I would've told her to start smaller so she can see her limits and what she's ready to do but I wish her luck especially I wish her to not get burned out hahahahah
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xerophylloom · 1 year ago
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The Times They Are a Changin' by Bandtrees and Hatsunoid is absolutely amazing
...And if you can handle the contents of it. No seriously. The fic is definitely dark and if you're sensitive to MEDICAL ABUSE, GORE, AND ABLEISM—Don't read it. It's especially centered around those and unless you close your eyes for all of it, you're not going to be able to handle it.
BUT!! It's so good, I would love to erase my memory just to experience reading it for the first time all over again. The disturbing parts aren't OOC (in my opinion at least) and it's very well-written, some optional out-of-site parts too.
A Laconic Summary: Mob loses control over his powers and causes permanent brain damage to Reigen and Ritsu. This fic explores the possible effects of that
Things of Note (as tags): Ambiguous Ending, Parasites (Specifically maggots and they're not TOO important, but they're there during a somewhat important moment)
Extremely long rambling (with spoilers) below the cut
This fic is so good, I created a sideblog for my AO3 to post about it. This fic is so good, that I had to stop what I was doing even though it is probably going to be detrimental to my grades. This fic is so good, that I was nearly about to rip my hair out from its roots
It's about 100k chapters long, separated into two parts. I'm easily bored and there's been plenty of times I've read a fic with maybe half the length, gotten bored, and thought of some parts as a slogfest even when it really wasn't—I just suck at getting through longfics. But reading through this, there was never a point where I thought that. Tensions were always high, rising even when I thought it wouldn't be able to, and I would end up near-screaming
And the way it shows how different characters feel? Gorgeous. Amazing. Love it.
Obviously, we have the normal book style descriptions from one character's POV, but then we have Teru's diary and Shou's little monologues(?), and it's all really cool??!?! Maybe that's what helped keep my attention. That and the little off-site links.
Speaking of those, I think I found all of them, but I'm not that observant so I could have easily missed some. And wow. Jesus christ. The last couple ones, the ones of Shou's gallery as his phone was getting wrecked, I was. just. In shock. I'm a very sentimental person who cares about photos and things, and I don't know how Shou didn't begin loudly crying right then and there because I would have
And god, so many times did I think 'Is this fic going to have untagged MCD?'. I was constantly at the edge of my seat expecting that someone would die. Reigen, Ritsu, Mob, Shou, Teru, Dimple (especially when he confronted Mob right as he was about to lobotomize Ritsu)... Basically all the main characters in the fic had moments where I was preparing to mourn
Mob really left for the deep end in this fic. I won't say that I fully get why he was so convinced that what he was doing was right, but it makes sense for him. He's not the type to let go easily, he's someone who draws strength from his bonds, and his aspect could be blood. And almost all his life, the message to never give up was basically struck into his head over and over. The one time I can recall where it wasn't? Claw, Seventh Division, where Reigen told him it's okay to run away. But I doubt that tilted the scale into being balanced in the slightest. There's so much more I could say about him in this fic. But I'll save it for now
Teru was... Teru. I understand him more than I did Mob, I think if I were in his situation, I would have maybe stopped at a certain point but we would be very similar in most of the actions we take. In the first chapter, I went 'haha silly!' at his entries. Seeing them as a little treat between the downers surrounding it. But then after he helped 'operate' (It doesn't feel right calling it that), I guess it really hit me. Then I started questioning if I would have done what he did. Then I realised I would have. Then I spiralled until I told myself this kind of situation will likely never happen to me and if it does, I'll get to it when I get to it
Serizawa is easily one of the ones you can feel for the most. Unlike Mob and Teru, he hadn't done anything to Reigen and Ritsu personally. And unlike Shou and Dimple, he didn't say harsh words. Perhaps you could blame him for not taking action sooner, but they all can be blamed for that.
Shou... Oh my god. Shou. At first, I was ready to fight Shou tooth and nail because really? That one comment on FriendBook wasn't necessary. I don't know how or why Mob didn't block him. But then as Mob spiralled further and further, I was hoping for him to make his way back into the narrative to save Reigen and Ritsu. Then he did. And he failed and he was injured and I thought he was going to die. Then he didn't. And it's implied he could have helped them. But could he have also made it worse? Who knows, that's why I put Ambiguous Ending as a thing of note.
DON'T FORGET THE OUT-OF-LINK STUFF!!! Mixed media fics that have off-site links are truly beautiful. My friend and I love that shit. Should she ever get into MP100, I'll recommend this fic to him with a shit-eating grin on my face. I hope the word count doesn't intimidate him erogdfkg... Every single bit of the off-site links I saw was just so cool. The art of Reigen made me feel strong unease, the real videos too, and that one animated video with Ritsu and Mob and Teru. Okay basically everything gave me a strong unease. But that's the point!!! And it was done well!!!!
This fic is pure talent, skill, and effort put into something that shouldn't just be preserved via a PDF file, but should be carved into stone for future archaeologists to discover. I wish I could hold even a fraction of power needed to create something this masterful
On a more less-serious note to finish this off: Mobway. Red Mobster. I was about to lose my shit. Every single time one of the companies showed up I was about to tear my hair out (in a funny way) because it felt like falling for a prank. I ESPECIALLY LOST MY SHIT AT PSYCHOLOGIST PEPPER BECAUSE IT TOOK ME SCROLLING DOWN BEFORE REALISING. Truly, the minds behind this were geniuses
Also, this might sound weird, but I got reminded of KomaedaLoveMail while reading this. The off-site links to websites for sure helped, but I guess I just associate talk of gore in written form in this way with KLM? Or maybe I haven't quite recovered from consuming that piece of media (Can you even call KLM that?) yet. This isn't bad by the way, I loved deepdiving into KLM even though my feeble brain couldn't comprehend shit.
And and one last note- Opening the song link in the end notes was like emotional whiplash. I had to sit there for a bit to process. Good music
This is a whole mess. Even for a ramble, it's a whole mess. I don't have words or sentences or even phrases for how I feel right now. I'm a mess
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