#and they'll go on and on about books and it'll be a good time idk

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

going to a networking thing this afternoon and absolutely vibrating with new and worse feelings

[toomuchracket]

pre-dating idea, the bday party friendship group all doing a "blind date with a book" night and everyone gets assigned another person to choose a book for that they think they'll enjoy. obviously, matty and girlie get each other, and they have to explain why they chose that book, and it just proves how much they really notice and care about each other

i love this i'm obsessed with it and actually it got me thinking... what if you got each other the same book by complete coincidence? also like as THE literary girly of all time and the friend group, i reckon you'd be the one planning the whole shindig - your flat isn't huge, but it's alright, because that means the book presentation evening will be cosy lol, and a month before the actual get-together you "pulled names from a hat" to allocate who was choosing for who, which is code for You chose strategically partially because you wanted to see what would happen when you paired frankie and enya, because they're so different, and partially because you'd be damned if anyone else got to buy matty a book lmao. anyway! once the teams are picked and shared, he messages the gc like "excited but also lowk scared. i've got to pick WELL lol" and texts you privately like "fr i can't wait to pick you something, darling. thank you for planning this, it'll be really fun!", and it makes you GIDDY. the whole thing does, actually, buying him a book and wrapping it and leaving your reasoning on the cover and then having a drink with him in your kitchen before the gifting part of the hangout. it's so fun to see what your friends all chose for each other - some choices are funny, some serious, but all are thoughtful - and have a laugh, and the excitement fizzing in your stomach when it reaches your and matty's turn is just as good; it briefly fizzles into panic when you open the package to see the exact same copy of crying in h mart that you bought him, but as soon as you look into those pretty eyes of his you can't stop giggling at the coincidence. neither can matty - he just leans over to hug you like "i can't believe that. maybe we know each other TOO well, darling, christ", and you return it like "we're mental. s'amazing". and while the book choice is the same, the reasoning is slightly different; yours was because you thought he would enjoy reading about a musician using another form/skill to process their emotion (in the book's case, cooking), and his was because he thought you would enjoy reading about how identity is shaped through the gaps in language and culture as much as those things themselves AND the hard things we experience in life (idk i am spitballing here), and you were both right about the other being interested in that. bless him, he's genuinely apologetic when you find each other in the kitchen again later, offering to replace the book with another, but you just put a finger on his lips (he goes internally insane at this) and shake your head like "nah, this one's perfect. and i was thinking - we could do a buddy read of it sometime, if you'd like, discuss it together as we go, maybe annotate each other's copies", and matty actually swears he's never been more up for anything ever in his life. a private book club, just the two of you? your handwriting on his books forever? he's lovesick i fear. yeah, i love this whole idea <3

[soaps-mohawk]

(same person who sent in the ask about the pool lol hi) But I just went to like a mini-carnival thing that they set up in my area and it got me thinking:

The team taking their 'mega to a carnival because they've never been (due to time in the institute or just because their family didn't do stuff like that when they were younger idk), but just imagining them and the betas being insistent on going on all the rides but John and Simon refusing to go on the ones they think would give them whiplash (besides, who else is going to hold all the stuffed animals and souvenirs Johnny and Kyle were winning for the omega?)

Or them just doing something simple like going to a mall. Spending all their money on anything the omega wants (because tf else are they gonna do with it?) and going into all the stores they want to, carrying all the bags they accumulate, especially when they find a bookstore and spend an ungodly amount of time in there.

Basically just thinking about fun little happy adventures because the pack deserves to be happy and have fun together without worries🥹

I think that would be so cute, but also so overwhelming lol. The reader will want to do everything all at once and the guys will have to restrain her a bit lol. Well, John and Simon will have to put tight leashes on the three of them because Johnny and Kyle are going to be right along with the reader and it'll be like having three grown kids around.

They'll want to try all the food, and Johnny and Kyle so use their skills to win all the games and get the reader every plushy which inevitably ends up in John and Simon's arms. They'll want to go on rides too, and Simon definitely doesn't go on them, not because he gets sick or anything, but because he doesn't want to 😉

It'll be a quiet drive home though, because the three kids in the back will be fast asleep from exhaustion, buried in a pile of plushies.

Definitely don't let the reader into a book store 😂 good thing she's got four big, strong men to carry things because she'll buy half the store if they let her.

[zatna]

i know i know, i'll give my first chapter review of z:bdth!! personals leave me alone i do NOT fuck with u.

review: its good. 10/10 (no one expected anything less).

now my silly little thoughts:

it opens with with zatanna being ridiculed for messing up a ball-disappearing trick, then promptly going to her father for some advice on real magic. zatanna's backstory has never been heavily consistent, even in her early origin days, so to see an actual scene where she's younger and doing her own actions.. it's different than the regular flashbacks we've been getting with her that just exist as a sort of "here's how magic works" to the general audience.

this page above is SOO GOOD i'll be thinking about it for the rest of my life. the colors, the shapes, the poses for both young zee & her father.. i'm glad they're bringing attention to their relationship prior to magic teaching, because it creates a distance between them that we don't see a lot, but i consider all the time. zatanna's most remarkable teacher was her father, yes, but zatanna had way more years of self-teaching than being a mentee to someone else. giovanni had never wanted to teach her anything beyond a few simple spells, and for a man who spent his life fighting supernatural horrors and threats i don't blame the fact he didn't want his daughter going into the world-- even though it's apparent they're both consumed by it already. the magical tomes, books, the obscure objects (floating or not), typical assistant bunnies. smthn smthn a visual clash of the two types of magicians we see in the room. giovanni's face is shadowed in, he's mysterious and direct, if not somewhat dismissive: "you said you'd teach me magic..." "did i?"

this could be read as not dismissive as well, since in the next scene she does use magic. so maybe he indulged her. but the spell was definitely not what she asked for and looks way more like a strong desire that developed into a spellcast out of emotion alone. maybe she grabbed one of his books when he wasn't looking, or we can go a different route and assume giovanni did teach her that spell, a backwards lesson of the difference between parlor tricks and real magic. he's always written as very coddling of zatanna, so to see him even demand her to "speak up." when she's got her head down was a bit of a surprise in itself, i don't know what he might've done..

i will never get tired of overpowered children having to deal with the fact they're overpowered children. this is the second time, that i can remember at least, where a younger zatanna had used her powers in a scenario where she thought they were justified, only to deal with the cruel consequences after the damage is done. how zee wielded magic in her youth, intentional or not, drastically impedes how she views it in her adult life. she's scared of it, this immeasurable power that responds to her slightest command. its a type of power that grown men yearn for, but giving it to a critical, impulsive child that's still learning the world around them, the people around them, and it'll just end up as a disaster and they'll grow to fear it.

nothing is important here besides the first signs of something is wrong, with her bunnies being cowered as far from her as they can while one bites in retaliation. ok there's like, smthn big going on but just look at the fact zatanna wears boxers... shes so hot. also transfem. thanks.

also omg little notes is the magic poster of herself being a wall for the rest of the kitchen. identical top hats on shelves. the drawn out man on the wall with knives sticking out of it jksgjkds. you can't see it exactly in this crop but there's just a bucket of chains and cuffs... she's such a weirdo... get another hobby im begging u. also mattress-on-the-floor zatanna is real and she is out to get you.

just a casual shadow of a creature following your shadow, no big deal. idk if the book will go this route, i think it's just another *team-up with someone who won't ever appear again in any continuity, but i like to think this is a canonical example of the consequences of zatanna under-using her magic. enter me forcing my headcanons and portrayal onto panels that definitely represent something else. anyway i'd like to think her magical presence becomes so dense when there's no "output" on her magic, and it's the equivalent of dangling a steak in front of a carnivore... or a carnivore's shadow. it's a mirror to when magic wielders overdo their own magical output, leaving them drained and instead an itty bitty fish in front of a carnivore. foods still food. i'm done with these metaphors i hope everyone caught the gist already..

pretending to hypnotize someone is so silly of her. but even more importantly there's a justice league mention oh wow!! and she turned them down :( zatanna's passion of the stage was very much outweighing the possibility of being a hero. this, as far as i'm concerned, has always been a fact. zatanna desired stardom and was perfectly content to sticking on stage, it was her fathers disappearance that had her jumping through mystical hurdles.

at this point on i'm not gonna post anymore panels because im lazy and this is getting so ridiculously long and also you should read it yourself. but i'm happy they're incorporating the fact zatanna doesn't use real magic on stage. outside of the premise of this series, where she has a present fear of it, zatanna in the past was of the stern belief that she shouldn't need to, and so she didn't. these lines kinda got blurred, and then discarded completely, and then now her main act is using illusionary magic and leaving it up to the audience to decide if it was real or not. i like both interpretations, personally, but it's nice to see the former again.

a bit of a disappointment that this is yet another zatara-led storyline.. or maybe this is just where it starts? you'd think they've run out of "cleaning up my fathers messes" plotlines but you'd be wrong!

*team-up wise smells like yuri... even better it smells like doomed yuri so i'm here for it for as long as it'll stick around.

[leejeann]

Practicing figure drawing so I can fulfill my dream of becoming an illustrator: Boring, predictable, little bit cheesy

Practicing figure drawing so I can make the bsd stormbringer animation I've had vividly playing rent-free in my head since I was like halfway through the book and heard a song for the first time in years that fit it perfectly: New, fresh, supporting my current source of brainrot

(little ramble about the animation idea below the cut because it's been rotating in my head for MONTHS and I just need someone else to hear it. vague spoilers for bsd stormbringer, but like vague enough it's barely spoilers imo)

The song is Invincible by Ok Go, for any fellow sb fans who want to see my vision lol. It was specifically the pre-chorus (starting with "i'm gonna bet they won't be prepared for-") that made it click in my brain, but then later the second verse also really clicked with it too (see below) and the concept has been rent free ever since. Might end up being more of an animatic but we'll see what my skill level ends up managing lol

ok so imagine the first verse is a combo of just general narration and/or the flags talking to/about Chuuya. "When the finally come to destroy the earth, they'll have to go through you first. Bet they won't be expecting that" just kind of feels like something the flags would say to him tbh. Like not verbatim but the sentiment of it

First pre-chorus is flashing through snippets of everything between Adam showing up at the bar until the first fight in the street. It might start with the confetti thing. I can't decide where to fit that, just that I want to include it lol. Probably ends with the reveal of that car (i know, i know, oof)

The chorus is the fight itself (...idk how to animate a fight but I'll cross that bridge later), ending with a longer shot of redacted holding Chuuya by the neck while everything breaks around them, then on-beat with the chorus ending it's a hard cut between seeing the hand on his neck to the same shot but with Dazai's hand against his back instead and everything immediately stopping, then Chuuya just kind of falling into a void and finally landing on the ground and getting back up just before the second verse starts.

(i really like that part in my head, if you can't tell by how clear of an idea I have for it lol)

First half of the second verse is Shirase talking to Chuuya. "Gonna decimate them like you did to me?" just fits his vibe too well. Then the second half of the verse is Dazai talking to Chuuya because the "will you devastate them deliberately?" line feels like it could be such a snarky Dazai way to make a jab about arahabaki like "So will you devastate them on purpose this time then?" if that makes sense

The last part of the song is still a little fuzzy in my head for how it'll go exactly, but like pre-chorus after the second verse will probably be like flashing through stuff in that lab and leading to the big fight with redacted. Then that chorus being the first part of the fight, the bridge ("so please use your powers for good") being like when they realize they haven't quite won and then Chuuya and Dazai are on the water tower. I think the build-up in that section musically fits the tone of how the scene is also building up, if that makes sense. The last "you're invincible!" after the bridge is like the where Chuuya launches himself off the water tower and/or the moment of Dazai turning around to see Chuuya is no longer behind him on the tower (can't decide which pov would look cooler to see from a narrative standpoint. Maybe I'll say fuck it and spilt-screen for both lmao) and then ya know visuals just kind of pop off until the end of the song/plot

Might have to tweak the timeline a bit because i want it to roughly cover the entire plot of the book. Once I at least get good enough at doing rough figure sketches and have the motivation to do it I'll be able storyboard it and figure that all out. Ok byee thanks for reading my ramblings, hope it made sense~

[gazeopard]

Long-awaited Thoughts on the Part 1 Teasers

Been a while since I posted anything Beastars-related because I've been trying to focus on my own writing as well as on the damn GED. Having ADHD makes everything so slow and cumbersome...

I saw the teaser trailer back in March when it first came out, including the livestream from the Japanese YT channel (I forgot the name lol). Even though I couldn't understand what they were saying, I was excited (and nervous). I've made it no secret in the past and present that I've become very critical of Beastars' later arcs, especially everything post-Season 1 over the past few months.

Looking back on Season 2/post Vol. 6 these past few months got me noticing many things I didn't consider firsthand, or things that just flew by me due to my brain being off and only focusing on the things in front of me, as well as hearing things others on and off of sites like Reddit had noticed that I didn't initially have also gotten me looking back with a more critical eye.

A part of me is hopeful for Season 3. I have hopes that it'll change and salvage enough of the last two arcs into one cohesive finale, fixing all the bad, weird, or questionable writing decisions on Paru's (and I'm sure the publishers) end.

But after Season 2 basically followed the manga almost exactly, even up to the other strange writing decisions that were made that started the downfall of Beastars, I'm wondering if it's even worth it. If it's even worth holding onto hope anymore. And if I'll just be disappointed and let down again.

At the same time, a small part of me just... doesn't really care about Beastars anymore...? At least, at the moment? Partially because of the long wait. And partially because I've been trying to focus more on my own writing for my "Fireborn" books, trying not to fall into the same traps that others have stumbled into, all while taking bits of what I liked, didn't like and/or thought could have been better, and running with them to salvage them enough to be something worthwhile, entertaining, and memorable. 

Also, I have a feeling that, since it'll be a 2-parter, both parts will consist of only 12 episodes... which makes me more nervous than excited. It probably means the Dropout Arc will follow the manga exactly, while Melon's arc will probably follow the manga exactly the way it did, only it'll have tons of fat removed.

I dunno. I mean, the theory was that the final season would have 24 episodes, and 12 + 12 = 24. Though, I was kinda hoping the final season would be just one season with 24 episodes, as it would have probably broken the 12-episode mold. But breaking it in half seems like the better way to go. I don't know. I'm still kinda nervous.

Again, part of me just almost doesn't really care what happens. If it's good, great. If it's bad like the rest of the manga.... eh...?

I guess it's because I'm too jaded now. Idk. I will probably watch only for Melon. Not that that makes much of a difference anyway, considering what a mess he turned out to be in the end of the manga.

This probably also means Haru is still probably going to get treated as more of a prize to be won, again. And Kyuu's probably gonna still be in it and divert attention away from the more important things (Louis and Juno's development as a couple, Legoshi and Haru's relationship development as a future couple, Melon's development as a villain, etc) to put screentime on things that ultimately won't matter again, the narrative is still not going to hold Legoshi or Louis accountable for their actions, Legoshi's still going to hate himself and pull out his own teeth (only for them to magically grow back making the whole thing pointless) and avoid Haru most of the time again, making them getting together feel unearned, and Melon's still probably going to be an inconsistent mess of a villain and his promise with Haru will be dropped after looking like it'll be important... again. 

Or maybe they'll remove the things that didn't work and replace them with ideas that will work and improve it. Hopefully.

But seeing the official trailer four months ago made me more hopeful and curious. I'll still watch it to see anything is different as well. The animation is still gorgeous.

Also, I loved seeing the return of hellhound/demon-eyed Legoshi again! I remember being disappointed that they didn't really bring that back in Season 2 when I saw it, especially during the fight against Riz, but I'm glad they're reviving it here. Seeing him wake up with red eyes after having a dream about Haru where she was replaced by Louis' foot, all while hearing the red deer demand him to eat it, makes me wonder if they're going to give Legoshi some serious and dangerous consequences from consuming Louis' foot last season? Are they going to give give Legoshi a reason to drop out?? I was wondering if maybe his consumption of Louis' foot reawakens his carnivorous instincts and he finds himself wanting to eat Haru, which causes him to drop out? It also makes me wonder if they'll bring more focus to his meat-withdrawal symptoms. After the water fountain accident, his instincts never really came up again in the manga and were more told to us rather than shown. 

The shot of Legoshi and Haru outside also makes me wonder if they're including a scene where Legoshi sees Haru off to college. It'd be cute if they did. So the implications in this teaser showing him struggling again after seemingly overcoming them… really gives me a lot of hope that they're improving the manga.

Also:

Gosha and Yahya look amazing. It makes me excited to see how Melon will look, and it makes me curious to see who Studio Orange got to voice them.

AND we've finally got a date. December. When in December? Who knows. It's better than no date at all.

All in all, I'm still a bit nervous, but am still hopeful.

[lesbiantoaster]

The Golden Enclaves (The Scholomance Book 3) - Spoilers

I've just finished The Scholomance series by Naomi Novik and I need to write my thoughs because I have some opinions XD These are just my thoughs as 20+yo freshly after finishing the series in one go (+listening/reading some opinions on-line). Also english is not my first language so I hope my message won't be lost in traslation.

El is unreliable narrator but she's a great character imo. Yes, she's ulikable, stubborn, 17yo brooding edgelord full of trauma BUT (for me at least) she's an believable on top of all of that. What I mean by that is I can believe that this is what a 17yo girl would sound/think/akt like. That doesn't mean her actions are always right but who doesn't make mistakes (especially when they're a teenager) ? But despite all the trauma she's endured during her stay at the Scholomance as well as before that and loads of self-loathing she's always been a good kid at heart to whom the world/fate has been really unfair. I love her journey throughout the series I truly do even though this journey is just beggining, but that's what's amazing about this character because now evry reader can have their own headcannons about her future. And that's what makes El Higgins one of my favourite characters of all time and makes me love this character!

Orion on the other hand had been made dirty imo. I'm sorry I really wanted to like him but he literally has ZERO personality he's just a depressed mawmouth shaped like a boy who wants to hunt mals and be next to El... It's sad because his whole story is genuinely tragic yet I felt next to nothing while reading it (only after finishing the golden enclaves I've started to think about everything he'd been through...). Also kinda unrelated but WHAT is Orion now? Like is he human enough to idk... get old? Or will he remain a 17yo till the end of Scholomance? On that note if he'll get old like a normal human being then what will happed to Scholomance once he passes away? (I don't expect to ever recive an answer to any of those questions but I am curious about it).

So... what do I think about Orion x El relationship? Well I think it was good for them while they're in Scholomance and (of course) it was crutial for the plot progression. But do I think this has a future? Absolutely not. For the first two book I was authentically rooting for them. They were good for each other and helped each other grow and mature, but reading The Golden Enclaves I couldn't help but play this tiktok sound (the one that goes: "He is not 'the love of your life'! He's literally just a guy. Just hit him with your car!") in my head for most of the Orion-related parts. And while what happened between Orion and El was genuine and beautiful and was working pretty well for the time being but they're teenagers in their first realtionship (that was formed in confined space where death was waiting for them litterally behind every corner and for what they knew they could die in the next 5 minutes, and lets not forget the social structure of small comunity of Scholomance - and while you can find some analogies beteween that to the outer world, they're not the same) and I don't think it'll survive past the point of when their frontal lobe will be fully developed... But I do think they'll remind good friends after that. That's just my opinion!

And that's I'm SO glad that the Liesel x El subplot happened! Some people say it came out of nowhere just to get representation points but I disagree with that sentiment... Don't det me wrong - I didn't saw it comming until the scene in London enclave, but when it happened it cliked for me and everything from The Last Graduate till the end of The Golden Enclaves started making sense... (?) My interpretation of the situation is that El DID notice Liesel in Scholomance and WAS atracted to her (considering that El's our narrator and we only see her version of reality, everything we learn about the world is El's understanging and observations of it - we only know things she considered important enough to describe to the reader AND she considered Liesel to be worthy of describing her multiple times to this degree that we KNOW that during New Year's cleaning El was looking at Liesel's boobs and wasn't complaining about it (she was complaining that Orion wasn't doing the same thing) maybe a the time she wasn't considering herself being attracted to the same sex - it might be because she wasn't quite experienced with social interactions and it was all new to her.. I mean newer than to 'normal' 17yo who's just begining their dating life). The biggest tell for me that El was attracted to Liesel was her reaction when she figured out what Liesel was proposing to her in London. What I also like in golden enclaves is the character development of Liesel herself. Watchin how this prideful, cunning, inteligent and fierce girl starts to care (even deeply) for El and how this relationship catalyzes her own process of healing from all the trauma.

And don't let me get started on thie whole "cheating" discourse... The first time El and Leisel get intimate is when we are sure Orion has been eaten by maw-mouth and the only reason for El to go back to Scholomance is to kill said maw-mouth so Orion along others victims to can die peacefully instead of suffering in eternity. So she's grieving and everyone grieves differently and it's not our place to judge that. The second time on the plane is slightly more complicated but also I wouldn't say it was cheating (I wouldn't even say that El and Orion were dating again at that time... it was more of will-they-wont-they-situationship where Orion specifically asked El to kill him if his mother won't heal him - and we all knew she wouldn't), it was a shitty move tho... Let's remember we're talking about deeply traumatized and mentally fucked-up kids (ok... young adults). I don't condone what El did in that moment but I also try to remember the context of these decisions and I refuse to judge her by my standards (+ I highly doubt that after all of this El never mention to Orion what happened between her and Liesel, just because she didn't do it right away after the events from the book doesn't mean they wouldn't have talked about this - it's just that hiding this information from Orion doesn't sit right with my interpretation of El's character).

El's just a teenage girl who's going through her first love but it doesn't mean she's gonig to close herself from the world just for this boy she met in school (in contrast to her own mother who's the archetype of mourning widow). I just really want to hope that in the case things wouldn't work out between her and Orion it wouldn't be the end of the world for her.

I'd like to believe that what these kids started was a revolution at the core of the rotten magic society and the whole system build on death and suffering, and that the change will come (after some probably long and painful process but IT WILL COME - that's my headcannon and I don't accept any other outcome for my own mental wellbeing XD). But also alongside of the changing/rebuilding world these kids need to heal/grow/change themseves. They've been through some serious shit and need to redefine who they are and find their own place in the new reality. I'd love to read about older versions of our heroes (because I'm 100% sure they won't be the same kids we left at the end of the last book) but I also don't think we'll ever come back to this world to see what happened next with our beloved misfits but I really hope the future will bring more fanfictions, headcannons and other fan-media that will keep this world alive and will allow us to dive in this world once more!

All to all I loved the series! It's not ideal (in many aspects) but overall I've really enjoyed it & sincerely recommend reading it and to shape your own opinion on the matter! Please keep in mind that it's only my interpretation of the series which is based on translation of the books and my personal life experiences and if you disagree with me you are more than welcome to express it (I'd love to see other perspectives) but please don't send hate! Lots of love <3

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

idk how to word this well but i feel like a lot of media critique is read as too personal to the author? obviously the intentions of the creator is important and the circumstances they made the thing in is important to discuss but i feel like that should be like. context. an explanation of why the story is like that but not a way to shut down further discussion.

like for example a lot of critique of tv shows is rebutted with "well the network cancelled it/forced it to keep going beyond its natural end/threw in a bunch of stuff to fuck up the creator's vision so it's not the writer's fault." and like. who was blaming the writers? yes maybe the network fucking with the creative team made the show turn out bad but that doesn't mean the show isn't still bad! it's just that now there's a conversation about network interference and how that affects the final product.

and i think outside factors that affect the story should be discussed!! i think networks are often unfair to its creatives hence why they're striking now. i think censorship is often limiting and prevents writers from telling the stories they want and (tumblr focuses more on this) having good representation. i think the identities of the creators and their beliefs and abilities have massive implications on a story and i think all of it should be discussed as the context the story was made in. i just don't think we should stop the discussion there. we still need to talk about what did and didn't work in the story itself.

when i say "the plot/rep/format of the story had X problem because it affected the story/audience interpretation of the story in X way" and someone says "well the writer's boss forced them to make the plot/rep/format like that," i think it's important to know as a part of media critique. but if they refuse to discuss my initial statement and just ends the discussion there because the problem wasn't caused by the writer, i don't find that interesting or useful to think about.

the only purpose of saying this and only this is to tell me that no, the creative team isn't at fault for this specific thing. i shouldn't get mad at these people that i will likely never meet whose only relationship i have with them is consuming their work. and like. you shouldn't harass people for writing bad stories regardless but if you need to be told that specific creators aren't to blame for a thing you disliked to stop you from doxxing them then that's one purpose of that.

but for that to be the only discussion point is ignoring the actual story. forgive me for assuming but i feel like most people would want to talk about the actual media when they do critique, not the personal/political drama involved in making the media. this is an online discussion about something published by strangers, not a writing workshop with your friends.

and i think talking about the problems that arise in a story because of outside influences can bring more awareness to those influences! if you say "the publisher told them to not make those two gay" and refuse to elaborate people just think "oh :( well i bet a hypothetical book where those two were gay would have been cool :)" if you say "these two have character arcs that would make more sense in X ways if they were gay but because the publisher told them not to make them gay it falls flat in X ways" people would think "holy shit! the publisher's prioritizing their homophobia over telling a good story! i hope next time they have a book like that they'll just let them be gay!"

pointing out exactly how outside influences hurt a story will show audiences not only how these factors fucked over the creatives career-wise, but also their own enjoyment of the story. most people won't affect the way creative teams of media they like are managed, but in the rare instance that they do, "it makes the story worse and therefore less profitable" is a better talking point than just "don't interfere with the writers because it'll make the writers sad."

basically if i point out a problem with a story and you reply "this problem was caused by X external factor," the next sentence should be "and here's how and why X external factor affected the story in these ways." it's shouldn't be "and you shouldn't blame the writers for it because it was someone else's fault." pointing out that capitalism and bigotry exists should not be the end of the conversation. you need to say something its effects on the story in tangible ways. otherwise the conversation has no value.

and i want to reiterate that i know a lot of limitations studios and publishers place on creators are frustrating to the creators themselves. it must feel horrible to see people be dissatisfied with your work, especially if some of the things they critique wasn't your fault. i cannot stress enough how much i dont think less of a creative team's skill unless i know for a fact that they chose to make something bad without any outside influences, which is incredibly rare. if i criticize something, i am not placing blame on anyone unless i outright say "i blame the writer/studio/publisher for this."

when i talk about my thoughts on a story, it's entirely for me. i'm not holding out hope that hollywood executives will see my opinions and tailor-make something for me so i'll stop complaining. i talk about and criticize media i like because it's fun. it's how i engage with media. i don't know the creators of 99% of the things i enjoy, and they will almost definitely never know me. while it's interesting to learn about the production process of a piece of media, even if i don't know who's "responsible" for a part of a story i don't like, i won't get angry at the creators for that. i don't connect the value of the writer to the value of the story in that way.

[abihastastybeans]

*crawls up from a deadly schedule*

hiiiii

top 5 bears in movies

top 5 Disney princesses that you think can straight up wield a knife (as sword)

top 5 childhood cartoons on if they'd have depression now

(I'm sure i definitely mistook the task but tbh it's more fun this way, ignorance is bliss and all 😭)

Hiiii Ash! These are wonderful topics, thanks for playing, let's see how this goes-

Top 5 bears in movies - so i completely blanked as soon as I saw this. Do i even know 5 movies with bears in them? Okay so Paddington comes first because i loved that movie as a kid. Then Po from "Kung fu Panda" solely because of Jack Black. Next comes Sonya the Tricycle riding Black bear from "Madagascar 3: Europe's most wanted" - i don't think she ever said a word but she stole the show whenever she was on the screen. Then ofcourse, Baloo from The Jungle Book - the urge to sing Bare necessities right now is so big. Finally, since i can't remember a bear from a movie, I'm gonna have to go with Teddy the suicidal Teddy bear from Supernatural. I'll never forget him and the little girl.

Top 5 Disney Princesses that i think can wield a knife/sword - First place, without doubt, goes to Mulan because she already wields a sword lol. The next should be Merida because she would need a weapon other than her bow and I'm sure she'll learn very quick. And then ofcourse, Kida because she puts people in compromising positions (if anybody understands this reference - I will hug you so hard) and adding a sword would elevate it a higher degree. Then I'd have to go with Rapunzel my beloved - her arm strength and grip from carrying around all that hair will be of great advantage ✌️. Finally i think Jasmine would be good with a knife/sword because she's a badass.

Top 5 childhood cartoons on if they'd have depression now - lmao idk mate

Mickey mouse clubhouse - ABSOLUTELY are you kidding me? I'm pretty sure they were all in a fever dream all the fucking time and when they wake up it'll all be downhill. Hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog babyyyy

Phineas and Ferb - idk smth about overachievers getting drained i guess?🙃

Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil - something tells me he'll crash and burn someday. Totally possible.

Scooby-Doo, Where are you? - Once the gang runs out of weed, they'll probably have to fight things other than "ghosts"

Looney tunes - Animals with depression would make shows of top tier quality. Sorry.

[exospherethoughts]

There's way too much stuff in my head, I want to rip it all out and beat it to a pulp so I can breathe.

I'm remaking my résumé so it looks nicer and has all my updated info on it, but now I just feel pathetic. I've done so little, I have no publications, I have no real job experience, I don't actually know shit about physics, I'm slow and stupid, and my brain/body are too fucked up to handle a 9-5 job. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't think I can finish this degree (much less get a doctorate) and I don't know what I'm going to do once I'm out of university.

I wish I could talk to you, just to feel less alone and vent and get a (virtual) hug. But trying to be open and honest with you when you respond once or twice a week has really been messing with me. I know you're insistent that you do want me around, but idk, if I want someone around then I *want* to talk to them, so I tend to respond almost daily. Your excuse of not liking texting doesn't make any sense to me considering that you were happy to text back and forth for hours on end while you were still here. I hate texting too, so I lean towards calls for staying in touch over distance with people, but even that seems to be too much for you. So I'm sorry, but I'm struggling to believe you really want me in your life as more than just some acquaintance. And right now I cannot spare the energy to try and handle how awful that makes me feel, I'm too preoccupied trying to handle being around my parents 24/7, so it's easier to just stop talking to you. As much as I miss you, this way I can't end up saying anything I shouldn't. Besides, people like me better when I'm quiet. Quiet me is good me. Then I can't be a drag. I know I'm always too much. I know. Especially now with this almost two-month long depressive episode that's continuing to get worse, and the stuff with my parents, and the OCD, and my physical health problems, and the anorexia relapse, and how bad the cutting urges have been getting, and and and and. I'm really fucked up and I break everything and everyone I touch. Even the things that make me happy are too much, I get too excited about music, I care too much about twenty one pilots lore and music, I'm too invested in crosswords, I have too many stuffed animals, I really do love music too much, I care too much about certain books, it just goes on. My dad always tells me I need to learn to be more concise because nobody will want to listen to so many useless and irrelevant details, they'll just zone out and get bored. Quiet me is better me. Maybe if I'm quiet and stop talking about myself then I'll stop being such a nuisance. People will like being around me more. I don't think I know a single person who overshares more than I do. I hate myself so much for it. Time to disappear again? Just not physically this time, only mentally, and this time it'll be intentional instead of whatever the fuck happened for all of 2022/2023.

[emiliosandozsequence]

hi! i wasn't sure how to ask so feel free not to answer. i've been writing about a fictional southern town but i'm ashamed to admit that i've never been to that type of church service before. i'm trying to make up for that with research but at some point the questions get too specific. do you think you could recommend me anything that would help me fill out the gaps, please?

i would definitely recommend talking to someone who has either grown up in the south or someone who has gone to church services in the south as they'll be able to give you information that a book or online article isn't going to be able to.

i would also watch films/tv shows and read books that depict the kind of church service you're hoping to show in your own work; it'll give you a good idea of both what you really want to do and what you don't want to do at all. the media that immediately comes to mind that i would recommend for this is season 1 of true detective, season 1 of carnivale, and the movies the unholy and the devil all the time.

also it depends on how accurate you want to be. often what i do with things like this in my own writing is, i'll learn everything i can about a subject and then take away certain aspects of it for creative license, but do it in such a way that it doesn't Feel like i've taken anything away (idk if that makes sense, but what you're aiming for here is that even to people who will Know for certain you've taken stuff out because they're intimately familiar with it/grew up with it will be okay with it).

finally, make sure you know what time period you want this to be taking place in because there are subtle differences between how typically american southern christian sects worship now and how they worshipped in decades past.

most of all tho the best advice i can give (which it sounds like you're already doing) is learn as much as you can about this subject before you start writing about it. you'll still definitely get things wrong (i know i do when it's a subject i'm unfamiliar with), but that's what editing is for!!

i wish you all the best in writing your novel and i'd love to hear about it sometime!! 💕 i really hope everything i mentioned helps!!

[ambreiiigns]

Me again sorry hello, what do you think is gonna happen next if you have any idea? or anything you want to happen? i hope our doubleblack yaoi boys stay thriving

you again omg hiii 🥰🥰 i have. been like. tossing this over in my head all day. very inchresting

so like for sure. i hope at least. we get to see what happens during the 2 hours timeskip and hopefully how it ends. bc i have No Clue at all 0 thoughts 0 ideas abt any of that. but i hope they'll sell me more of akutagawa and atsushi as shin soukoku. like maybe it's just that i have an insane attachment to the originals but i do feel like the show has been a coward abt investing in the kids ? like. i'm not buying it. they don't compare. but the anime will give me three episodes abt 15 dazai & chuuya WHICH I WILL NEVER COMPLAIN ABT IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS but idk like three episodes for them in a season that is so weirdly paced feels like the easy way out in a way ??? like people enjoy those two so you'll give me a lot of those two when you should focus on building the actual main characters to the same level of those two. does this mean anything. i'm under the impression that the manga does a better job w akutagawa and atsushi but alas i will not be reading that so i can only complain. the last time i sort of cared abt akutagawa and atsushi has been back in s2 finale and i would. like more. come on.

but at the same time i also hope they keep focusing on more characters instead of atsushi ANFNSKFKKDG I'M SO SORRY HE'S JUST A BAD MAIN CHARACTER TO ME. I CAN'T MAKE MYSELF CARE ABT HIM me & brother say that bsd peaks when ranpo's the main character and IT'S TRUEEEEEEE LET RANPO TAKE OVER I DON'T EVEN CARE i wanna see more of. anyone else. if we did a 180 and made akutagawa the main character instead i would Not mind at all.

besides all this the like big question and interesting thought abt what happens next is who will be picked by mori to join the port mafia out of the detectives. we know yosano is out of the picture he is not allowed to choose yosano which is So Funny that fukuzawa would only protect her but ?? not his son ranpo ?? not dazai and/or kyouka who have also been under mori's wing ?? it's funny. i'm really interested abt that tho. bc if like mori picks atsushi i kinda hope not it's a bit sort of obvious if the protag gets picked but it could be interesting maybe it'll make him interesting And he gets to soukoku all over the place. And we get fun new interactions like when atsushi and chuuya interact in wan or whatever it's very fun. wan is the silly spin off that i don't super care about except when i do.

but also ranpo ? in a way heart and soul of the detective agency it would be FUNNY if mori was like i wont that. and i KNOW ranpo would be funny in there he's already been working 24/7 with a former criminal enemy Edgar Allan Poe his boyfriend i wanna see what he does in the mafia. does he bring poe w him. would he have beef w chuuya after the s3 book incident. (chuuya's the strongest little guy so remember the cannibalism arc. ranpo locked himself and chuuya in a book to keep chuuya out of business. the book being poe's ability where he can trap you in the books he writes and ranpo's been using poe's ability like it's his own fnsjkfowf) i'm intrigued.

but THEN. what if dazai. that would kill me a little bit. and it'd be interesting. i'm not going to Lie i would Love it if i got double black permanent reunion but ALSO. it Would be. a little excellent if dazai gets pulled back in the mafia and was like... forced to relapse to some extent after trying to flip himself out for oda and then he's forced right back when he started? yk how his bestie oda died and that was the kick dazai needed to get out of the mafia and be a good person. if he goes back would it all be undone. he can either prove he REALLY changed or he's still the same shitty little guy no matter his efforts. would he spiral LMAO. it would slay. but i would also be really sad for him and i don't know if they'd go there

or someone like tanizaki who's a bit irrelevant he's just a little guy it could be an excuse to develop him more ig kenji and kunikida aren't really sparking anything in me and i don't think koyo would allow mori to pick kyouka fjejfjskf man i REALLY HOPE IT'S NOT KYOUKA IT WOULD MAKE ME SO SAD but the possibilities are cool and fun and interesting and i really wanna see That. power move is if mori says he wants fukuzawa and the detective agency is orphanized

and then in general once the 2 hours situation is fixed the only thing that makes sense is follow thru on what the Fans have picked up w the teasing european authors as new characters i think it's our only option. i think we have no other choices and i am ready to see it. they've been talking a lot abt some british girlies and we feel like that might be the next step.

(( in that same vein sort of i hope we Do in fact get stormbringer MOVIE QUESTION MARK !??!?!?! stormbringer being the light novel set when chuuya's 16 in which he finds out more of his insane backstory. there is either rumors or wishful thinking abt stormbringer movy. i would like it as a movy i am TIRED of wasting episodes on flashbacks i want MOVY it feels too long and too much happening to be adapted in episodes AND if it's a movy it can be its own separate thing that the more casual viewer can skip if they so wish. i don't love a movy that's mandatory viewing tbh if i signed up for episodic stuff yk ?? stormbringer is kinda not central to the story you Can do without stormbringer so it'd make sense to be movy. and i find it so fascinating even tho i know so little and maybe i'll read it but it sure would Slay if we got movy there's some bits i really wanna see animated ))

so SO if we get europeans it make sense to make stormbringer there's french people and frankenstein in there yk ????? i'm ready. i wanna see the europeans it'd be fun. and we ran out of other things we got the americans and some russians they need to keep it rolling. i made a joke that they'd introduce italian authors as a second more powerful mafia lead by dante alighieri i can give bsd the copyrights to that

i guess sigma sticks around and maybe he tells us something abt fyodor i'm fucking tired of fyodor the least he can do is tell me his business. and i kinda maybe would like more worldbuilding ? it might be too late in s6 but like. brother said this and i've been thinking. what's up w abilities is there an Origin is there a reason why some people have them and some people don't is there other mythology that is based on abilities like bram and vampires what about the war. there's a cool post explaining why the war works as like a backdrop we don't really get more of and i'm INTO that but maybe something else could come out of it ? do we get to learn more abt other Mysterious Characters. what about the cat man. what even is elise as mori's ability etc. brother also said he'd like to see more 1v1 between characters and see how abilities work w each other ? or other sort of. fusions like shin skk does and i agree ! wanna see how abilities interact. and i am going to Say This i am ready for more chuuya in the main show i am ready for chuuya to be in every episode thank you. i think it's time i think we can handle him now. thank you :)

[biblebitch-666]

August 5, 2023- entry

today I finally hung out with poly, he looked like how he does on snap and whatnot. I was just really irritated at first because it mainly seemed like we were gonna hang earlier in the day, but we ended up going to applebees at 9:30 Pm. I mean I could have hung out with chona and sandy if I'd known that , damn. I was about to just say that we can hang a different day because it was already getting so late, and I was waiting a little too long. To be honest I wasn't in the exact mood to hang out, i was a little upset that it was seeming like we weren't gonna hang out when we talked and planned for it before. I suppose I was a little upset because it seemed like it was a chore for him to hang out with me, like something to get over with so I could finally shut up and stop asking him to hang. This is likely me projecting my inner doubts and insecurities tho, I mean I was never one to not jump to conclusions. Idk, I hope that I made a decent impression tho, again, im not sure if I made a good one, one that would make someone want to hang out with me again. I had a good time, though the food at applebees was questionable, I'll eat any kind of pasta.

I guess idk, maybe this will be the last time we hang out, I mean if he offers to hang of course I'll hang out. But that's the thing, im not sure if they'll ask to hang out again. I probably won't ask. Not because I don't want to, but because of how I am. If I don't think that someone wants to hang with me, then I won't ask them too because I don't want to bug people and annoy them. I always have this problem of assuming other people's thoughts and feelings towards me, and usually they're not good assumptions. when meeting new people, I always feel like i'm annoying them when I ask to like hangout and stuff. I just hope I made a decent impression that they'll want to hangout again, or at least not ignore me completely.

On a more positive note, tomorrow im going to hang out with cortney in the morning and go get coffee together. I love cortney so obviously I'm excited about thattttttt. Maybe it'll take my mind off of the other stuff that's been upsetting me. I wanna get other books to read to have something to dooo. Maybe I'll read red white and royal blue, that seems sooo basic but i want a fun reading experiene. Okay i think im gonna end the diary entry here, i feel way better rn, goodnightttttt.

[burnt-scone]

I think when people hear me say I'm neither Republican nor Democrat, they assume I'm centrist.

Nah, that's a cop out, I'm not centrist. I just think both parties are run by shitty people for shitty people. They don't care about the average citizen. They only care about billionaires who will fund what they want for the government.

And to get in office, the people who run in seats of office will lie and cheat and make promises for a "better tomorrow."

Personally, I see the Republicans dream of tomorrow as a hateful, ignorant wasteland without knowledge or equality. But they see it as idk, nothing that isn't "Christian" or maybe "mormon," idk. They just don't want minorities to have rights or books teaching about when minorities were treated even worse than today. Minorities are still treated like shit btw. Also, they promise stability or whatever that they never actually give. The whole time, they help billionaires fuel war and help ruin the lives of those in poverty. Help pay to kill the innocent and claim its patriotism. As they decimate indigenous land.

Democrats dream of tomorrow looks better, but it seeks like it'll forever only be on paper. Equal rights, more affordable everything. If you vote for me, I'll work to stop this problem or this problem. But they never actually do. They get in the office and make some changes in the beginning, changes they don't think will make a big impact positive or negative. Then, they use the rest of their job to help billionaires once again fund war and help decimate indigenous land with the help of oil companies.

Honestly, I often believe they're the same shitty people who just switch out sometimes. Democrat goes into office to bring up the hope from one group, then it's Republicans turn, and they bring up the hope of this group. They keep things heated and people fighting, and they get their votes, but at the end of the day, all they do is fund war elsewhere so billionaires can go fracking for oil. They can destroy indigenous land breaking any treaty they can. Under each of their care, more and more people are impoverished, and more people are unhoused and/or starving. They can't afford medical care or education, and it's supposedly their fault? Fuck both parties. And most the parties in between don't give af either. They'll also make false promises and then fuck people over.

It's how power works.

I'm not centrists because I think they're all shitty. When I vote, it's in hope this person will cause less damage. Not that I think they're morally good. I think once you enter politics, you slowly lose all morality. That's why you see anyone good and with good intentions leave first. They get told they're too nice and have too good of intentions and that they should leave. And it's not a suggestion, so they leave.

Unless something happens, I truly don't think we'll ever reach a good tomorrow with our current government.

And when I say, "Unless something happens..." I mean:

[theglitchywriterboi]

I hate how many teachers, especially ones for younger kids like >13/14, think it's okay to he dicks about a kids dream ???

Like it's not an uncommon experience for kids that love to draw or write or make music & who wanna do it professionally to get told "Well what's your back up plan cause that hardly makes money"

Bruh we're KIDS. In a few years we'll KNOW how difficult it is. But right now HUMOR US. Ask "Oh that's cool, what do you want to do ? [For writer kids, do they want to write their own books, write scripts/plays, etc. & kids that draw ask if they want to make comics, animate, etc & kids that wanna do music ask what kind of music do they wanna make, what they play/want to play, etc]" Hell, by doing that you may alert them to a [slightly] more viable path [not that you should discourage them if they want to do freelance stuff].

Like I remember being 12 & my schools librarian was a published author, cool !!! She was the first author I had met let alone been able to see when I wanted, so I was HYPED, so obviously - as an aspiring author, I wanted to ask her questions. But the first & only thing she said to me was "You can't live off being an author you'll have to find another job too"

Which to you may sound fine, but every creative will hear that a MILLION times before they're 18 & even if they don't, they'll SEE other creatives who are just as good & passionate about them struggling to get by. We either do know, or will soon know. We don't need you do be "Realistic" when we're children, we need you to be supportive [Hell, as adults/teens we don't need you to be "Realistic" We'll know then too, we'll still need support !!!]

Like it's crazy that at 12 I needed a hearty dose of realism, but in HS literally all I got was support, encouragement, & belief I could be an author. THAT is what you do when you're around a child who wants to be an artist. They're gonna find out soon how hard it'll be to even have a chance at making it. They'll make friends who will show them the struggle, every stranger will be "Woah that's unrealistic. Do something realistic !!!", They'll do research & find out how hard it'll be. Ik you think by telling them how hard it'll be you're helping them, but you're not. To them it just looks like another person isn't in their corner. Be in their corner.

Like this isn't to say blindly encourage them & make them get dillusional about the possibility, but you can tell them in a way that doesn't sound like you think their dream is dumb ? Like you can go "Oh it's really difficult to do that, what do you plan on doing ?" Cause to me that reads like you're showing interest, believe in them, but are also telling them that it is difficult. Idk. Idk if I explained well, I'm SUPER tired, but I just really hate this shit.

[deadblrr]

*Hunger and throwing up content warnings for real owwie and gross*

So turns out my anxiety isn't a thing that just stops me from going outside.

My sister is having a rough time so her (pregnant!) self and her 3 kids are staying over. They're sleeping and generally staying in the front room. Which is fine n dandy, I love my sister a whole bunch and although I don't like children, they overwhelm me easily, I do my best to be nice to them and give hugs and play little games when I go into the front room. Because no matter how much I fucking hate it and the noise and the mess, they're just kids that's what they do and for some god only knows reason they like me and I will NOT punish or upset these kids in any way just because I'm fuckin weird.

Anyways. Our flat (which the landlord might be selling so I might be homeless at some point? Either homeless or the rent goes up. Either way.. Fuck.) is tiny and the kitchen is a little rectangle attached to the front room and it's also fucking messy!

Okay so. Being in a messy place (but apparently only a mess i didn't make??) is rlly stressful and then there's also the kids so I kinda go to the kitchen to feed cat and then book it outta there. I do usually grab a couple packets of crisps or something but that's like not really a lot and also not an actual meal.

But, usually, i get by.

Last night my dad bought me a pizza which is cool because I very much hadn't eaten dinner the day before and also I think I are like some biscuits that day and that was it? But when I went to cook it..

So, our oven is broken and we have one of those little airfryer oven things but the slow cooker was already out on our only bit of kitchen counter and I didn't know where to put it and instead of asking I just.... Went to bed. I really didn't want to be an annoyance for my sister who was trying to sleep or my mum who was just so tired and had the kids sat with her.. And i think my dad was in the toilet but also I'd probably die before asking him for help anyways.

So I'm laying there, like oh ow. Probably should have eaten, huh? And then i start feeling sick. I sleep for a couple hours with myself propped up on plushies to help keep the sick feeling down and that's fine until I wake up at like midnight really in pain and feeling so very very sick. But moving sorta makes it worse. So i slowly sit up and figure alright. Guess that was enough sleep. But the feeling persists and gets worse and by the time I'm like "Oh Shit. I'm actually going to throw up and there's no stopping it" it's too late for me to manage to stand up and get to the bathroom so,,, I just kinda throw up on the floor. (important side note, I'm some kind of neurodivergent [duh] and sleep on the floor w blankets and plushies. So basically i vommed in my bed. Managed to move aside my blanket tho. So glad about that)

So like. Idk? That's obviously not good and I should probably be more worried about my health and making sure that I eat something but A. Sister asleep on frontroom floor, so I can't get a snak, and B... I'm apparently more worried about the inconvenience it'll be to wash my clothes and also the towel i used to mop up the mess.. Like. There's already clothes on the hangers and probably already clothes in the washing machine so idk how?? Idk how I'm supposed to wash my stuff without telling anyone because I CANT tell them because they'll think I'm stupid or my sister will feel bad about it and idk. I think I'd rather just like... Sit in my vommed on trousers and not leave my room before I starve to death.

Bit of an exaggeration but only because I hate being sick and thus if I'm gonna go I'd rather it not be via something that'll make me sick.

Idk. Just. Not fun. And idk why I'm like thisssss ugh. It's 2am so hopefully I can not throw up again before like. 6-7?.... Idk when ppl wake up I usually wake up at like 20 past 8.