#and they’re finally both home in bed together and Izzy starts sobbing that she’s so tired her body hurts can they please just sleep

[micamicster]

microdosing on grey's anatomy by keeping up with your blog (said with love and sending strength)

Yellll it’s just me and Jerry the intern on this weekend with like. 14 patients so your support is appreciated ❤️❤️❤️

[gotnofucks]

I can see Lee pretty much hovering over you as you get closer and closer to the due date and even took time off of work so he’s there for when you go into labor BUT of course you go into labor when Lee’s out of the house grocery shopping or something like that and he gets a call saying you’re on your way to the hospital and he just PANICS

Combining this with another similar request: What do you think Lee would react when the reader is getting into labor? Would he freak out or would he try to be calm or would he even be there or at work so the reader would have to call on the station?

I’ve had this ask with me for ages and I am so sorry it took this long to answer. I tweaked it a little, and it got a little long. This one is dedicated to two anons- The sweet Nonnie who unfortunately got the virus (wish you a speedy recovery!) and the sweet girl who is preganant and teases her husband with hubby!Lee. ILY both and I hope you enjoy this.

+++++

The laundry basket was taken off your hands before you realized, and you scowled at Lee. He glared right back at you and pointed at the couch.

“Go sit, and don’t make that face. You’re supposed to be resting.” He barked and you resisted the urge to throw something at him…again.

“I am pregnant Lee, not invalid.” You said and Lee rolled his eyes, grabbing your arm and sitting you down himself. He lifted your swollen feet on a pillow, massaging the soles of your feet with firm hands, eliciting moans from you.

“You’re pregnant with my child who will be here in a short few days. God help me wife, but you’ll sit back on your ass and do what I say!”

Despite your ire and irritation, a soft smile graced your lips as you gazed at your husband. Who would have thought that this very man who scared everyone in this town, scared even you at a time would turn out to be a protective husbear. He had exceeded all expectations, going over and beyond for your comfort. Not only did you have the fluffiest pillows on the bed and ten types of pickles in the kitchen, but you got special massages from him every morning and evening.

Lee was far more attentive than any expecting father you had seen before, he was almost frantic as he looked after your every need. The past few weeks he had barely gone to work until finally taking an off, staying home with you to fulfill all your weird cravings and demands.

“Honey, you don’t need to get so worked up. Our baby will be fine, and so will I.” You assured him. He may not admit it, but you saw the concern and nervousness in him, something that warmed your heart. Your child wasn’t there in the world yet, but you already knew they had the best daddy there could be.

But, as much as you loved him and this attention, it was getting too much. You felt smothered by his presence, and him hovering over you, interrupting everything you do was getting on your nerves. So, you sent him out to run an errand, making a long list of things that you swore to him were essential for baby’s arrival. He left reluctantly, not wanting to leave you alone.

It really shouldn’t have surprised you when your water broke just moments after his departing, for you knew how fate loved to mess with you. It was a blessing that your neighbors loved to eavesdrop as much as they did, as they heard your whimpers and came running. You let them load you in their beat-up car, hands covering your bump as you clenched your teeth with every contraction.

“Call my husband, he’s out!” You shouted and your neighbor pressed a cloth to your sweaty brow. She assured you her son had called the station to have someone find and inform the Sheriff of your condition, and you barely nodded as painful waves raced down your spine. The journey was slow as the roads were bumpy and needed to be taken with care. Each bounce made you howl, and you cursed yourself for sending Lee away when you needed him the most.

+++++

Lee was browsing through the diapers section, scratching his head in confusion because he was absolutely lost. What size would fit his little one? Would they be huge like him, or tiny like his wife? Does is matter what cartoon is on the packaging? Would you be mad if he got the wrong thing?

He was wondering this when the store owner came running to Lee, panting.

“Sheriff Bodecker, call for you from the station. They’re taking your wife to the hospital, the baby is coming.”

Lee had not even digested the news, but he was already on the move, his legs carrying him like a tsunami to his car. He would have run all the way to the hospital, but he had just enough sense left in him to drive. All the training he had had as Sheriff and an officer flew out the window. No amount of workshops on handling difficult situations could have helped. His wife was in labour, his baby was coming out of her at this possible moment and he was out!

He broke every traffic law in the city, almost crashing as he drove like a maniac to the hospital. Sweat had gathered on his brow and lip, his heart beating in fear and anticipation. No sooner had the hospital come into view, he abandoned his still running vehicle and jumped out and inside the hospital doors.

“Where is my wife?” He bellowed, scaring everyone. He saw his neighbours running to him, looking scared and wide eyed.

“Sheriff, they’ve taken the missus to the delivery room. That way”

He ran, he ran and swore all the way to the room and pushed open the door. There you were, laying on the bed with your legs spread open and gown pushed over your waist. You saw him, reaching out a hand to him as a scream tore from you, a horrible contraction squeezing your insides.

“Lee!” You called and he rushed to you, taking your hands in his.

“I’m here my love, I am here. I am so sorry, I will never leave again.” He rambled.

You squeezed hand tight, making him grit his teeth.

“You! You did this to me! I hate you and your dick!” You swore and the doctors around the room smiled, till now used to watching wives lose their temper at their husbands.

“Y/n!” Lee said but you dug your nails in his arm in retaliation.

“Don’t shout at me! You don’t have to push a human out of a small hole in your body!”

You were screaming at the top of your lungs, calling your husband names that he had last heard uttered by a sailor. His hand was held in yours, tears streaming down your face and he wiped them, apologizing and trying to sooth you. Lee looked on helplessly, afraid and bewildered at the quick events of the day. The doctor injected you with something, telling you its time to start pushing.

“Stay with me Lee, don’t leave.” You sobbed, your anger dissipating as fear took you over.

He leaned over you, pressing his lips to your temple softly.

“Never darling, never again. Let’s bring our baby home, together.”

+++++

Drabbles Masterlist

Tags: @what-is-your-wish @shooting-star-love @sebastiansthot @its-izzys @stanmysoul @springsoulofengland @i-alyssa @sebscarebear @sarge-barnes-sir @harrysthiccthighss 

[doc-pickles]

this love is worth the fight

Fun Fact: I had such a hard time choosing a song from Lover, mainly because there are so many good songs on the list. (I feel like I’m gonna say that about every single day so don’t mind me) I almost went with Cruel Summer or Paper Rings because they are SUCH Jolex songs, but I kind of wanted to push myself this week. 

I ended up going with Afterglow because I knew it would be perfect for a fluffy fix it fic (my favorite type of Jolex fics hehe) and I really love how it came out. So without further ado, here’s my Afterglow, angst to fluff inspired fix it fic!

(Also, technically this *could* be a part two to my Red/I Almost Do fic. I didn’t write it that way but reading it back it could be interpreted that way since I use some of the same plot lines)

-

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens, just crying

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say…

The world, for what it’s worth, did not stop spinning when Alex Karev disappeared off the face of it. For a moment, it did feel like everything might come to a grinding halt and Jo Karev’s world would never be the same again. But the nagging feeling, the pressure in her chest that kept her up at night, began to ease the longer and longer Alex refused to answer his wife’s calls. 

Jo finds herself working late nights at the hospital, the lonely hallways a better companion than the quiet loft that she shared with Alex. No one questions her motives, if they do they don’t do it to her face, and for that Jo is grateful. The reprieve from the never ending questions about her well being were getting old, she thinks that Link might’ve yelled at everyone they know to leave her alone. Either way, the quiet moments she spends at night with herself help Jo get her mind into a stable space.

She had come to terms with the realities of her new life, that someday someone would call her and tell her Alex was dead or that he had sent divorce papers or he was in a coma, lying somewhere unable to reach her. It didn’t matter what scenario Jo drummed up, the pain of Alex leaving had come and gone sometime in the past month that she had failed to hear from her husband. 

Her feet are walking across the first floor reception on her way to the ER when Jo hears it. She only pauses for a second at first, because she is absolutely certain that she’s hallucinating things. But she hears it again, her heart and feet stopping in tandem as she listens to the voice that she now knows is really there, really speaking to her.

“Jo!”

Jo’s eyes find Alex standing behind her, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans like he does when he’s forced to confront something he doesn’t want to. His beard is thick and scruffy, Jo almost thinks he must not have shaved since the last morning they spent together. Alex’s eyes are tired, his face holds an exhausted expression, and Jo can’t will her feet to move towards the man she had presumed dead. 

“We need to talk,” Alex speaks. Jo hears him, she really does, but she can’t comprehend what he’s saying. “Jo? Are you listening to me?”

Her brain catches up finally, a hand coming to cover her mouth as Jo lets a sob break through the tension of her and Alex’s reunion. Her feet are the next to recover, moving towards Alex at a frenzied pace. Her hands are around his neck, pulling him close to her as she cries. Jo can feel the breath that Alex releases when her hands make contact with him, relief flooding both of them as they touch for the first time in four and half weeks.

“Jo, I’m so sorry,” the words are a whisper, Alex’s breath hitting Jo’s cheek as he continues to hold her just a little tighter than usual. “I… I’m sorry. I’m just sorry.”

“You came back,” her words are quiet, muffled as she buries her face in Alex’s shoulder. “You're here. You came back.”

Despite telling herself for weeks on end that Alex had left her or was dead somewhere, Jo can’t help the tears that are flowing down her face. In all of the scenarios she had gone through, Alex coming home wasn’t one that she had let herself entertain. The hope would surely break her heart if he did end up being dead or gone somewhere. 

“Of course I came back, I love you Jo,” Alex pulled back to look into Jo’s eyes, fingers coming up to brush her hair out of her eyes. “I love you and I swear I’m not leaving again unless you’re by my side. I just… we have a lot to talk about.”

“I don’t care, I thought you were dead,” Jo cried, eyes welling up with tears again as she grasped Alex’s face desperately. “I don’t care Alex because you came home and that’s all I wanted and-”

“I was with Izzie,” the words freeze Jo, her hands stopping where they were on his cheeks. “Like I said… a lot to talk about”

+

Jo finds herself sitting across from Alex an hour later, fingers nervously pulling at the edge of their sofa. She hadn’t said more than three words since Alex had told her where he had been, too scared of what the next words to come out of his mouth would be. Jo had handled a lot of rejection and pain in her life, but this blow might be the one that undid her well and truly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls or texts. I was… busy, distracted and I... ,” Alex sighed, Jo’s eyes finally flitting up to look at him. “When I was calling people for Mer’s trial, Izzie was on my list. And she… she has twins, I could hear them in the background when I talked to her. She told me she used the embryos we had frozen, that the twins were mine. So I went to Kansas, I had to go to Kansas and see them. They’re my kids, Jo.”

The world does seem to stop spinning for a moment, Jo taking in what Alex was telling her. Her stomach dropped, panic welling up inside of her as she realized that Alex had come back to leave her, to build a new life with Izzie and their kids. Jo couldn’t stop the tears that began to silently roll down her face as her heart began to beat out of time.

“Jo? Jo, baby please,” Alex was kneeling in front of her now, hands holding hers in a desperate attempt to get her to listen to him. “Babe, you gotta let me finish. I told you I’m not leaving you, let me finish.”

“You have kids! Somewhere outside of Seattle you have kids and in no universe are you going to know that and stay here with me, Alex,” Jo’s voice was shaking, but the words rolled off her tongue so easily that she knew this was a fear she had held too tightly for too many years. “I meant what I said, you’re a good man. Good men don’t leave their kids thousands of miles away to be with their wife, we both know that all too well.”

Her and Alex hold each other's stares for a moment and Jo wants to scream and kick and beg him not to go. She can see that look on his face, the one that means his mind is far far away and she knows deep down that he’s counting down the seconds until he can leave her and get back to whatever perfect life he had already started to build in Kansas. Of all the people to leave her in her life, she had never anticipated losing Alex, especially not like this. 

“Izzie is remarried, to this great guy named Vince. He… the kids love him and she loves him and…,” Alex let out a small chuckle, tears welling up in his eyes as well. “It’s exactly the life I had pictured for her. She’s happy and she’s alive, she’s got some great kids and I don’t… I don’t feel the need to stay there and be a dad to those kids because that perfect life Izzie has? I want that, I want a big house and kids running around like crazy and I want it all with you, Jo Karev. I can’t picture that with anyone but you. And I’m sorry that it took weeks of me laying alone in a hotel room in freakin’ Kansas to realize that, but I love you so much, Jo. I don’t ever wanna not see you again.”

Jo stared at Alex for a moment longer before reaching a hand up and slapping his shoulder. The worry she had been holding onto, the fear that he was going to leave for this new life, slipped away and Jo almost cried at the relief she felt. She wasn’t shocked that he had wanted to see his kids, see the two little people who were half him. And if you had asked her, Jo would’ve bet money on Alex insisting that he needed to help raise them. But he didn't… he came back home to her. 

“Fucking asshole! Maybe you should’ve started with the ‘I’m staying in Seattle’ part so I didn’t start spiraling out,” Jo exclaimed, her hands coming up to hold Alex’s face, just as he had done for her. She met his nervous eyes with a smile, leaning down to kiss him chastely. “I’m glad you aren’t left wondering about what could’ve been, about them. But maybe call me next time? Please?”

Alex nodded, Jo’s fingers running over the thick beard on his cheek as she kissed him once more. She knew that he would need time, that despite him coming back home to her seeing his kids was a huge shock. Alex had stood by her side more times than she deserved though, walking him through this was nothing compared to the psycho ex husband and the biological mom trauma that she had saddled him with. 

“I want it all with you too, you crazy man. White picket fences and a dog and kids and everything we didn’t get growing up,” Jo let a chuckle slip from her as she rested her forehead against Alex’s. “I missed you so much, I’m gonna keep you in bed for a few days just to make sure you remember what you’d be missing if you left me.”

Alex’s deep laugh sounds then, the sound that Jo had been so desperately craving to hear. She kisses him again, hungrily brushing her tongue against his lips and pulling him onto the couch without a second thought.

“I promise you Jo,” Alex’s breath is hot against Jo as his fingers trail under her shirt. She fights off the urge to close her eyes in pleasure and meets his eyes again. “I’m always gonna come back home to you.”

“I promise you Jo,” Alex’s breath is hot against Jo as his fingers trail under her shirt. She fights off the urge to close her eyes in pleasure and meets his eyes again. “I’m always gonna come back home to you.”

[sexcoffeeandkellynickelsfics]

Sun, Sea & Two Holiday Romances? Part Three

This is all I have written for this so far 😭😭 I have ideas for a part four and an ending but not enough!

“What are you doing?” Karen whispered to Izzy as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the set of draws.

“I uh I like to sleep naked” he shyly told her.

“I wouldn’t mind if you wanted too” Karen whispered to him.

He relaxed slightly then stripped himself of his clothes and slid into the bed next to Karen.

“Hey come here a second” he gently nudged at Karen.

She turned to face him and he closed the gap bringing their lips together, hands began tangling into hair, they pulled back from each other smiling and a little breathless, Izzy hand gripped gently onto Karen’s hip then leaned to kiss each other again.

BANG!

“ What the hell?” Karen startled.

“Fucking Duff! Or more like your friend is fucking Duff” Izzy grimaced.

Bang, bang, thump! The headboard in the neighbouring bedroom slammed against the wall over and over again.

Then came a giggle they assumed was from Amy and the just about made out phrase;

“I need a freshen up, wanna join me?”

“Oh thank god” Izzy sighed.

He pulled Karen closer and nuzzled his face into her hair inhaling the scent of her cherry almond shampoo. Soon enough both their breaths shallowed as they fell into their slumber.

Apparently only sleeping till 6am was long enough for Duff and Amy as they were going at it again headboard banging against the wall, Amy begging and Duff groaning.

“This was not how I envisioned being woken up” Karen groaned face buried in the pillow.

Izzy leant over her.

“How did you envision waking up then huh?” He smirked.

She turned her head and met his lips.

“Hmm something like this maybe” she mused as he pulled her into his lap.

The two woman had left Duff and Izzy’s cottage to go back to their own to change with the promise of meeting back up for an afternoon of activities. After getting dressed they both sat on the patio gazing out over the blue ocean not a single cloud in sight considering the awful storm the night before.

“So what did you two get up to last night?” Amy asked Karen sipping from the straw wedged Dr Pepper can.

“Well he kissed me and he was so soft and gentle” she gushed.

Amy sat bolt up right in her seat.

“And? What else?” She probed.

“He smells good like, really good!” She added.

“Aaaaaand?” Amy shrilled.

“Did you know do the deed? Get down to it? Please tell me you did?!”

“I umm maybe” Karen giggled.

“Oh thank fuck! You could cut the sexual tension between you both with a knife last night” Amy yelled.

“Yeah well I don’t need to ask how your night with was Duff do I?” Karen said to her friend sarcastically.

Amy laughed.

“Oh man he does really know what he’s doing” Amy sighed.

“They leave on Monday night” Amy told Karen failing to hide the disappointment in her voice.

“They do? Oh....”

Amy balled the end off her blouse sleeve in her hand and ferociously wiped at the tears spilling gently over her lashes.

“I’ve known Duff two days, two fucking days and I’m upset he’s leaving to go home and I’ll never see him again will I?” Amy let out a loud sob.

Karen pulled her friend in for a hug and sobbed a little too knowing Izzy was going to go home and never see her again either.

“We’ve both fallen really hard and fast haven’t we?” Amy finally spoke with a broken voice.

“Yes, yes we have” Karen agreed.

——————————————————————————

The afternoon had started off nicely with the four of them strolling along the beach, ice cream in hand. Duff was holding Amy’s hand stopping to twirl her around every now and then allowing the world to hear her laugh. She twirled herself into Duff’s side and used a hand to brace herself on his chest. She looked up at him and smirked.

“What babe?” He asked her.

“Oh nothing” she smirked again.

He shrugged and brought his ice cream up to his face then Amy gently nudged it smushing it into his nose slightly.

She shrieked with laughter and kicked her cowboy boots off so she could run better down the beach taking off Duff following closely behind her the pair of them laughing.

“What happens after this getaway is over?” Karen just blurted out to Izzy the both of them perched on the edge of a wall.

“I’d still like to see you if that’s what you’re asking?” He responded.

“You would?” She tilted her head up to look at him.

“I would, the drive would be more than worthwhile” he smiled planting a sloppy kiss on her forehead.

“I don’t know how it’s gonna work for those two though” Karen sighed.

They watched as Duff and Amy chased each other Duff grabbing Amy by the waist and pulled her down into the sand with him.

“Are you okay? You seem sad” Duff asked Amy brushing her hair behind her ear.

“I’m fine” she told him looking anywhere to avoid his gaze.

“No you aren’t look at me?” He gently cupped her face so she’d look at him.

“You leave on Monday and and...” she felt her bottom lip wobble and the tears brim in her eyes.

“And you’re gonna leave and we’ll go back to our normal lives and all this will be forgotten and end up being just a memory” the tears threatening to spill over her lashes for the second time that day.

He rubbed his fingers across her cheeks wiping away the start of her tears.

“Hey hey” he shushed her.

“I don’t want this to end here, I’d never forgive myself if I let this end here! Come back with me?” He asked her.

“But where would I live? What about work? Where would I work? She asked him mouth running a hundred miles an hour.

“For a start you can live with me we’ll sort all the other technical stuff later ok? It’s fine it’s fine I promise just come back with me”

“I will, of course I will” she cried.

He sealed the deal with a kiss both of them smiling into it.

He rose his long legs out the sand still holding onto Amy gripping her waist tightly to stand up then threw her over his shoulder.

“Duff my ass” she screamed frantically trying to pull her dress down so she didn’t flash anyone passing by.

“Is great!” He smirked.

Duff walked back up the beach, Amy still slung over his shoulder giggling then dropped her down next to where Izzy and Karen were leant talking.

Duff leant next to Izzy and pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one up as Amy flopped down onto the sand to pull her boot back on, Karen flopped down next to her.

“Sooooo what was so important you spend half an hour sat in the sand in his lap” Karen nudged at her dark haired friend.

“Well we talked about what we talked about this morning” Amy started.

“Uh huh aaaand?” Karen nodded.

“What did he say?”

“And he’d asked me to go back with him because he said he’d never forgive himself if he let everything end here!” She told the blonde excitedly.

“What about you? What did you and mr talk, dark and handsome talk about?” Amy asked.

“Well he wants to carry all this on too, The drive is more than worth while apparently” Karen grinned.

Amy bumped her shoulder with hers.

“We did alright didn’t we?”

“On all levels I’d so say” And both women laughed.

“I’ve got an idea!” Amy jumped up quickly.

“And that would be what?” Izzy cocked his eyebrow.

“Rockpooling!” She yelled excitedly.

“The fuck is a rock pool?” Duff asked.

Amy quickly explained.

“So they’re basically pools made of rock?” Duff asked.

“Along the sea shore?” Izzy butted in.

“That sea creatures live in and you use nets to catch them to look at them?” Karen finally added.

“Yes! It’s so much fun, I’ve got so many fond childhood memories of rockpooling” Amy told them excitedly.

“Sounds fun” Izzy said

“I’ve got some buckets and nets in the car, I’ll go and grab them”

“I’ll come and help” Duff offered jumping up to follow Amy leaving Karen and Izzy alone.

“You know they’re probably gonna fuck in the car right?” Karen blurted out.

Izzy groaned and rolled his eyes.

“20 bucks says they do” she bet extending her hand to the dark haired man.

“You’ve got yourself a bet” he said

A while later Amy and Duff returned her hair was a mess and her usual red lipstick was gone.

“Got the nets and buckets” she shouted her and Duff waving the objects in the air.

“I don’t think she’s been fishing for fish” Izzy laughed elbowing Karen.

“No I think she’s been fishing for dick” Karen laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Duff asked.

“Hey Amy how was fishing for Duff’s dick?” Karen asked her not breaking her composure until Izzy snorted and dribbled cola out of his mouth.

Karen completely lost her composure and snorted too, Amy didn’t even try to hide her embarrassment and started laughing as the blush rose up her cheeks. Duff just smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

The rest of the afternoon didn’t quite go how they had envisioned it, fishing in the rock pools was fine until Duff decided he really wanted to pet the crab he’d caught, angry mister crab didn’t appreciate the idea of being petted and decided to take its frustration out on Duff’s finger.

“It’s fucking hanging off my finger what the fuck?!” Duff cried shaking the small creature around on his finger desperately trying to get it to let go.

“Hold still” Amy laughed prizing the small red crab off his finger, placing a gentle kiss on where the crab had pinched him.

“How about we go back to the cottage and Nurse Amy can make you feel better?” She cooed to him.

Izzy retched at the words that left Amy’s lips, as if the constant banging of the headboard wasn’t bad enough last night or the fact Duff had apparently got the energy of the Duracell Bunny OR the fact they’d had to put up with waaaaay to much PDA at the dining table the pair of them giggling like teenagers.

“Don’t worry Izz, we’ll go back to our cottage you can have the other one” Duff shouted as him and Amy walked off hand in hand toward where they were staying.

“So how does food and drinks sound?” Izzy asked Karen pulling her into his side.

“Perfect” she smiled.

[wordsablaze]

Golden Promise

(alaw pt.6) There’s only one person that can call Alec emotional, a privilege earned after one of the most golden days in his life... A scene written for Alec Lightwood appreciation weeks 2017. Enjoy!

A/N: Sorry it’s a tad late, I couldn't get onto my account! Sorry for any errors!

Most would say that Alexander Gideon Lightwood is a very reserved person.

Some may admit that he is, in fact, capable of displaying positive strong feeling, particularly when on the battlefield; few may say that he regularly shows his concern for the hurt and definitely cares about others' wellbeing; even fewer would say that he's actually a very soft, sensitive person who genuinely does have affection for others; and only a handful of people – the ones who've watched him grow and develop – would tell you that he's inherently someone who genuinely wants others to be happy and well.

But there's only one soul in existence that can say Alexander Gideon Lightwood is emotional.

Magnus Bane.

And it all started with a cat in a bed on yet another autumn morning…...

Alec awakes to the sound of an angry purr, then a much deeper, sleepier, somehow almost magical hiss of pain.

"Mags?" he sleepily mumbles, trying to blink his slumber away.

"It was just Chairman and his claws," Magnus replies, evidently more asleep than Alec if the slight slur in his voice is anything to go by.

Alec giggles before catching himself and shaking his head, yawning instead. He can hear Magnus sleepily chuckle before an arm loops around his shoulders and he's pulled into a warm embrace of drowsy love.

"What time is it?" Magnus asks, murmuring the words into Alec's skin via a kiss on his bare shoulder. Alec can't tell if he should set fire to or frame the vest top for providing him with such a possibility.

"If Chairman's bothered to enter our room, it's probably nearing nine."

To most people, this would be a somewhat shock; usually, nine in the morning wouldn't be considered late or anything to worry about. The thing is, most people aren't the High Warlock of Brooklyn and the Head of the New York Institute. Unlike most others, the two of them are often out of their home by four or five in the morning, called out by attacks or clients or their everyday responsibilities.

"Nine?" Magnus echoes, yawning lazily.

Alec grins at the rather confused worry in the warlock's voice, then kisses his forehead. "It's okay, we have a free day."

"We do?" Magnus asks.

Alec rolls his eyes. "You're so clueless in the morning."

"No, I'm not!" Magnus argues.

"Oh? Then how come you can't remember anything?" Alec taunts.

Magnus blushes, his beautiful skin practically radiating beams of sun and warmth. "I prefer when you say it."

Alec forgets how to function as an adult, his eyes widening but crinkling at the corners when he grins happily.

Even though the two of them are both pretty much awake by this point, neither of them want to move, both totally content with sleepy, early autumn morning cuddling. And so they stay wrapped around each other and the duvet, resting somewhere between dozing off and lazily kissing one another's faces.

It takes another dramatic entrance from their beloved feline to get them moving.

This time, said feline attacks Alec's finger and he yelps, frowning at the scratch that's not quite deep enough to bleed but still stings worse than a papercut.

"Shoo, violent cat!" Magnus can't help laughing as he gestures to Chairman Meow so both non-felines receive a hiss and a swat as some sort of persuasion to get out of bed already.

"I think we're going to have to admit defeat, Magnus…" Alec grins.

Magnus grumbles but then clicks his fingers, transporting both of them to the kitchen in under three seconds. Alec almost falls off the bar stool when he realises he's somehow changed clothes, then glares at his legs.

"Skinny jeans? Really?" He groans.

"You look dazzling, sweet pea."

"Magnus!" Alec whines, but when he looks at said warlock so he can glare, his words fizzle out.

Like almost every other time he's used magic to transport them out of bed, Magnus has done his make up on the way and, just like always, Alec simply can't comprehend how such a beautiful person can become even more breath-taking. Instead of making a witty comeback, he ends up staring at the glitter scattered all over his warlock's skin and the mesmerising colours of his eyelids.

He mentally decides that Magnus can mix and wear colours much more stylishly than Izzy, but he also decides never to tell her that if he wants to keep his eyes. Of course, there is a chance she might just give him a knowing look and gush about true love or something, but it's more likely that she'll internally scream about cupid's arrow and boats, then poison his porridge the next day. It's a chance Alec doesn't yet have the courage to take, even with a rune to help him...

"Do I have something on my face?" Magnus asks bewilderdly, drawing Alec back to the moment.

"Yeah, beauty…" Alec says without thinking; he curses immediately afterwards.

Magnus just laughs. His bright chuckle of utter amusement echoes in their decorated kitchen until Alec is forced to admit defeat, unable to stop the small playing at his lips and the fond shine in his blue eyes.

His heart singing with pride as he hears his warlock laugh, Alec suddenly finds himself perfectly happy with skinny jeans.

He's somehow okay to carry on with his daily - but slightly more relaxed - routine in Magnus' choice of clothes, despite usually huffing and storming away to change into something less high street stylish.

For one reason or another, Alec can't quite recall any other events before the singular one that enabled Magnus to call him truly emotional. Every moment seems to blur together, the only thing sticking with him being Magnus. He doesn't mind because he knows he'll always remember every detail about the only thing he needs to recall from that particular day.

It must have been in the brief, liminal time where it should logically be afternoon but feels much more like the evening when the two of them had left the house because, by the time they reach the ocean, it's almost too dark to see.

Somehow, there's something uncanny about feeling the sand under your feet and hearing the ocean softly roar in front of you when it's too dark to see.

Of course, there's no darkness that a warlock can't light up.

Alec doesn't know what's happening at first, but then he realises the floating lights are a mixture of fireflies and miniature lanterns summoned by Magnus.

His immediate reaction is to look towards Magnus and see if the lights are illuminating the glitter on his skin like they usually do, but, to his surprise, the glittery warlock isn't there. Or rather, isn't at eye level anymore.

"Alexander…" Magnus whispers, and Alec can't decide if Magnus has suddenly shrunk or if he'd fallen just as he'd summoned the lights.

Turns out, it's neither.

Just like they'd not-so-seriously discussed and joked about a million times before, Magnus is kneeling on the sand, a small velvet box in one hand. Inside that velvet box is an iridescent blue and silver chain with a small but intricate golden ring attached.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you are my first of so many things," Magnus starts, "and this is the first time I've done this so forgive me if it's not perfect."

"It will be," Alec interrupts quietly, trying not to just envelop his warlock in the tightest hug he can manage.

Magnus smiles. "I never thought I would tolerate a Lightwood through so much, and I certainly didn't think I would fall in love with one. You've unlocked more in me than I thought I had, and you've shown me things I'd never thought to look for."

"Being centuries old has given me experience, but there's nothing that could have prepared me for you. You are my moon and my son, my day and my night, and you are my strength. Out of every shadowhunter, I'm honoured to be associated with you. Words cannot explain how thankful I am for your existence, and there is simply no other way to say it than: aku cinta kamu."

At this, Alec gasps.

Not because he's confused or he's in pain, but because he can feel himself crying. He, Alexander Lightwood, is crying. He's crying already and there's no way to deny it. He can see Magnus smile but he just bites his lip and nods, trying to blink back his tears.

"I know it's a lot to ask of you, but the time I've spent by your side has given me more happiness than anything in all of existence, and there's nothing I'd like more than to create a million memories with you. There's something about you I can't begin to decipher, something that I'm happy to keep a mystery because you are my favourite home. You are my querencia, in every sense. Alexander, my darling, would you help me keep my promise to always be there with you and do me the pleasure of accepting my proposal?"

"Magnus…"

"In short: will you marry me?" Magnus asks softly, in a voice full of love and hope and magic.

Alec can't even stop the sob that had been building up from finally escaping. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and gulps, trying to swallow the strange lump in his throat.

"Alexander?" Magnus asks gently, and Alec's tears mix with his laughter as he nods.

"You don't even have to ask," Alec chokes out, "Yes. Yes. My answer is yes. Of course, Magnus, I love you so, so much-"

Before Magnus can sigh with relief, Alec has attacked him with an embrace of affection and the two of them are wrapping their arms around each other, falling on the cool sand as they listen to each other's heartbeats and the rippling ocean waves.

The two of them stay wrapped in their love until Alec stops crying, at which point they both lie on their backs, watching the lanterns and fireflies gently fly above them. Of course, they're pressed against each other and their hands are securely interlocked, so close that, to anyone else, they must look like the world's most peculiar pair of conjoined twins.

"You tell anyone I cried and you're dead," Alec mumbles.

Magnus just chuckles and sits up, pulling Alec with him because of their interlaced fingers, and carefully tying the necklace around his shadowhunter's neck with an overjoyed smile. "I do, for the record."

Any progress Alec had made towards not being tearful immediately fades away.

He half-laughs, half-sobs, and beams wider than possible before he manages to whispers back: "I do too, for the record."

And, as the two of them stand in the light of the moon, the lanterns, the fireflies, the golden glow in their eyes, and their love, Alec's heart simply melts.

"Magnus..." he whispers, "You even made it gold."

"Gold is for weddings, is it not?" Magnus asks, his eyes sparkling with his natural golden flecks.

Alec's eyes widen as he realises the significance of what Magnus has done. He's managed to fulfil their promise of love, work around their demanding schedule, technically still follow the Clave's laws, and make Alec the happiest he's ever been in his entire life.

"I love you," Alec says simply.

"That's good because, otherwise, our marriage would be pretty problematic," Magnus deadpans.

Alec can't even be annoyed; he's too overwhelmed.

Strangely, he's okay with being flooded by a lack of clarity and he doesn't mind being unable to think straight. Where he usually craves logic and awareness, he finds himself adoring the feeling of being lost in love – a feeling that's not uncommon whenever he's with Magnus.

He can finally label himself as something he'd usually consider a weakness, and be proud of it. Of course, Magnus and everyone around him have been saying it since the beginning of time, but it's taken him a while to accept it.

It's okay because now he's married to his warlock.

And with the support of Magnus' golden promise, he can finally admit and embrace it...

He's emotional.

like/reblog but don’t repost, thanks!

[whumppile]

Shadowhunter fanfic:Take your pain and make it mine

(Alec is a shadowhunter, and sometimes he gets hurt, but this was too much, this wasn’t right. And he wouldn't tell Magnus where they came from. Set after 2x20) WARNING: This fic contains self harm and suicidal tendency themes, it’s not explicit but be careful if this will make you uncomfortable don’t read it. Be safe.)

Alec was a shadowhunter, and Magnus had grown used to the fact that he would sometimes come home a little banged up. Luckily, he also knew that his Alexander was one of the best shadowhunters in New York, and therefore won most of his battles, which meant his injuries were minor and didn’t happen too often.

But then Alec started coming home with more than minor injuries. It started small, like a few scrapes and bruises, nothing he hadn’t seen before. But it started to get worse as time went on.

Alec stumbled through the door, leaning heavily on the doorframe as he tried to crack a smile through the bruises across his cheek.

“Honey, I’m home.” He laughed at his own joke despite the hiss of pain that came directly afterwards, and Magnus let out a gasp at the sight of him.

His face was covered in bruises and scratches, and had one of his arms was wrapped protectively around his chest. He sighed in relief as Magnus came to help him to the couch, easing him down onto the cushions as his voice came, strained with worry.

“What happened! Oh, what have you done to your poor handsome face.”

Magnus swept a glowing hand over his boyfriend’s cheek, where the heaviest black and blue stained like ink, to numb the area before lifting the Nephilim’s shirt.

Alec groaned in pain as he leant back into the couch, allowing Magnus to carefully check him over, gentle fingers pressing against his ribs and sparking with magic when they moved or creaked.

“The hunt was a bit intense. There are still circle members out there, but they’re all scattered now that Valentines dead. Most of them don’t believe he’s finally gone, so they don’t give up easy. One of them got a few lucky shots in.” He groaned again as Magnus pressed against a particularly sore spot, hand instinctively coming to catch his wrist.

“Okay, maybe a few of them did.”

The warlock didn’t look convinced, eyebrows furrowing over his cat’s eyes as he put all of his concentration into healing the broken bones across his loves chest.

“No one gets a lucky shot in on you. You’re too good, and besides, you always stay back to shoot long range. How could they have done this to you?”

Alec huffed out a laugh, releasing Magnus’ wrist to dig his fingers into the couch instead, as his chest burned.

“Thanks for having so much faith in me, but even I make mistakes. Guess I got distracted.” His last words didn’t match the jovial tone he’d had just before, they were quieter, as if asking himself a question.

Magnus didn’t like the vagueness of them but didn’t press on it. He needed to heal him first; they could talk later.

“You need to be more careful.”

He sounded mad, and Alec gently took one of his hands, forcing his magic to shut off as the warlock sighed. Alec dipped his head to try and catch the other man’s eyes.

“Magnus? Babe, what’s wrong?”

The immortal blinked hard, trying not to cry as he frowned, squeezing Alec’s hand. “I hate it when you get hurt. I don’t want to lose you, Alexander.”

Alec let go of his boyfriend’s hand to pull him in for a hug instead, the warlock sitting across his lap and leaning against his mostly healed chest. Alec couldn’t care less about the pain, and simply wrapped his arms around the man he loved, pressing his lips to his forehead.

“You aren’t going to lose me, Magnus. I’m sorry for worrying you, it’s not what I wanted. I’ll be okay, I have you, don’t I? The most powerful, handsome, smart, wonderful warlock in all of New York.”

Magnus laughed a little and lifted his head to rub his nose against Alec’s as they both smiled.

“You always know just what to say. I love you Alexander.”

“I love you too, now come on, let’s go to bed. I want some proper cuddles.”

That was the end of that, the end of the worry, until two days later, when Alec came home with a broken arm. The next night it was a concussion, and Izzy had called to say Alec would be spending the night in the institute infirmary for observation.

It was when he came home coughing up blood, that Magnus lost it.

“You have to stop doing this to me! I can’t take it anymore, I can’t see you hurting! I know you’re lying to me about how this is really happening, and I won’t let you go back until you tell me what it is. Are you trying to get yourself killed, is that it?”

Alec hadn’t been able to look at him, pressing his lips together as Magnus healed his punctured lung.

He couldn’t take the silence, couldn’t stand the secrets. His eyes filled with tears as he gently turned Alec’s face to his, to see the Nephilim’s own tears had already fallen.

“Please, tell me what’s happening with you. Let me help.”

His voice came strained and pleading, as if he didn’t want to say the words but had to.

“I can’t.”

Magnus had refused to let him go back to the institute. He couldn’t have him coming home so broken every time, and he definitely couldn’t have Alec lying to him.

But Alec wouldn’t relent, even as Magnus’ anger and hurt made his heart heavier with each minute. He agreed to stay home, but wouldn’t talk about what had happened all those times and it worried Magnus to no end but at least if Alec was home, he couldn’t get hurt.

And then, Magnus woke to an empty bed covered in blood.

It was everywhere, streaked across the silk sheets like gashes in the fabric, as if the bed itself were bleeding. Magnus couldn’t breathe, panic welling up in his throat as he searched for Alec. There was a trail of blood leading from their bedroom, to the bathroom, and the warlock frantically sprinted over, screaming his loves name.

“Alexander!” His first thought was that they’d been attacked, and he threw up his wards as he ran, igniting his palms in flames as he stepped through the bathroom door, but there was no threat, just Alec laying on the floor and desperately trying to stop the bleeding.

He pressed towels to the long, gashed wounds across his stomach, but they were already soaked through. He was crying in pain, tears trailing down his cheeks to leave tracks in the red smeared across his jaw.

There was blood everywhere, smeared across the tiles where Alec’s feet had slipped, splattered, and dripped and pooling beneath his vulnerable body where he lay. There was too much.

Magnus froze in the doorway, shocked by the sight, breath heaving from his open mouth as Alec pleaded to someone on the phone that lay on the floor.

“Please, Izzy he’s in trouble, I can feel it! You have to find him, find Jace!”

The girl agreed, saying she’d call him back before she hung up, and Alec’s eyes lifted to Magnus’ shocked face, face crumpling as he began to sob.

“Magnus.”

One soaking, shaking hand, reached towards him, and the immortal quickly came over, kneeling beside him, and pressing more towels against the mess that was Alec’s ruined chest.

“What happened!”

The Nephilim cried out in pain at the pressure on his wounds, but Magnus needed to know. He needed to be able to help. He stroked a hand over Alec���s cheek, thumb rubbing over his skin in comfort, and the shadowhunter leaned into it before shaking his head.

His words came as a whimper. “I can’t tell you, you’ll make me stop.”

Magnus pressed harder on the towels, feeling blood pool around his fingers. He was bleeding out so fast. He tried again, pleading with his boyfriend to just tell him what was going on. But Alec shook his head and refused, even as his eyes began to droop.

“You’ll make me stop, but I can’t, I have to do this. I have to protect him.”

Magnus growled in frustration, tearing his eyes away from the bloody mess to look into his loves eyes, only to see them roll back into his head.

“No, no Alexander! Stay awake, come on baby, please don’t do this. Stay awake!”

But it was too late, his eyes were closed and his breathing was too slow and erratic. Magnus was losing him.

Tears blurred his eyes, and he cursed them as he summoned every spark of magic he possessed. He would not sit there and watch the love of his life fade away.

He almost didn’t manage it. Alec was so far gone, so weak, that it was less healing and more tearing him away from the gaping maw of death and giving his body enough strength to hang on. But slowly the bleeding stopped, and the wounds began to heal.

It took too long for Alec to wake up, but Magnus was waiting there once he did, holding his hand and pressing it to his mouth, as his bright eyes opened to the ones he loved most.

But they were full of tears and he asked the same desperate questions he had before.

“Baby please, tell me what’s going on with you, who did this?”

Alec curled his fingers around Magnus’, his chest heaving as sobs tore from his throat. He had hated the way his secrets had started to push them apart, but it had been important.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t bear to lose him again. I had to do something to make sure it didn’t happen.”

Magnus brushed those tears away. “Who?”

“Jace. When he died, and I felt it, it was agony. I could feel him slipping away, and half of me was gone. I can’t do it again, I can’t go through that. So…I found a warlock that could manipulate our bond, so that I could take Jace’s injuries and pain. That way I wouldn’t have to lose him again. He would be safe.”

Magnus’ heart broke. He remembered the way Alec had screamed when he felt Jace die; it had been so awful but this wasn’t right.

“Oh, Alexander.”

The Nephilim tugged on Magnus’ hand, eyes pleading as he cried.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this to you but I couldn’t do nothing. Please don’t take the spell away, I can protect him, I have to, he’s my little brother.”

Magnus couldn’t stop the tears that fell from his own eyes, and he brushed a hand through Alec’s hair in the way that often calmed them both.

“You can’t take on that sort of burden from him, you’re important too. Do you think he’d want you hurting like this? Let me take it, please darling, we’ll protect Jace together, all of us will, just let me take the spell away.”

Alec didn’t want to, but those eyes, those beautiful eyes held entire worlds, and in each of them he was loved, and he couldn’t say no. He sniffed, nodding reluctantly, and Magnus leant down to kiss his forehead before weaving his fingers above the Nephilim’s Parabatai rune.

The spell was pulled from him, light and smoke curling up and drifting away like a blown-out candle, and once more Alec could feel his pain being shared through the bond. Jace would know, now.

Alec watched the spell’s smoke dissipate, voice small and hopeful. “Is Jace safe?”

Magnus nodded. “Yes, he was out battling demons on his own when Izzy found him. You need to talk to him about how you’re feeling, and about how reckless he’s been since the lake. You need to ask him what really happened when he died, and how he’s still alive. This isn’t healthy for either of you.”

Alec knew he was right, and he did need to talk to Jace about the amount of risks he’d been taking. He’d always been too happy to jump into hunts, and didn’t have enough self-preservation in him to fill a thimble, but this was more than that, this was deeper.

It was hard, when he came, to look him in the eye and tell him what he’d done. Jace’s voice was hollow.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to yourself.”

Alec reached for his hand, wincing as his chest burned with the movement. Magnus had healed most of him, but hadn’t been able to close the wounds completely, and he’d tightly bandaged them instead. He pleaded with his brother, trying to make him understand.

“I can’t lose you again, Jace. I can’t-“

The blonde had jumped up from his seat on the edge of the bed, body coursing with restless energy, and Alec closed his eyes against the pain in Jace’s voice as he replied.

“And you think I can? You think I could survive losing you, Alec? I can’t! I…I shouldn’t even be here.”

His last words were thrown from his mouth with such contempt that they would have stung, had the ‘here’ meant with Alec. But was worse than that, ‘here’ meant alive.

Alec tried to sit up, tried to reach for Jace, but it pulled at his wounds and he let out a hiss of pain, making the blonde come quickly to his side, to push him back down into the bed. Alec took his hand even as Jace avoided his gaze.

“What are you talking about? Why were you out hunting demons by yourself? And why do you keep getting hurt? You’re the best fighter we have, no one should be able to get near you.”

Jace sighed, his entire being, his very soul, feeling heavy within him. What a weight it was to be alive.

“Valentine did. When he stabbed me. It was through the heart.”

Alec frowned. “You died. But you’re here.”

Jace nodded. He didn’t want to say the words aloud, didn’t want to know what Alec would say if he knew. But Alec had almost died in his place, he owed him an explanation at least.

“When Valentine stabbed me, I died. I could feel you…and I was scared, and it hurt but…I felt you there, like you were with me. And Clary watched me die.”

Alec waited, and Jace closed his eyes as he confessed. “She asked the angel to bring me back. She used the favour. I…I came back.”

The Lightwood didn’t know what to say. Jace’s face was pinched in agony as he continued, words bitten out between clenched teeth, sounding strangled as his eyes filled with tears.

“And ever since I came back I’ve felt…wrong. With everything we hunt, everything we’ve been taught, I know that dead thing’s should stay dead. I don’t belong here. And even if it was okay to bring people back, why should it be me? So many people died, so many innocent people. The angels favour shouldn’t be used on something like me.”

Alec watched as tears carved their way down Jace’s cheeks, his eyes full of so much pain as he stared out in front of him. He finally understood.

“You were trying to fix it, to go back.”

Jace nodded, mouth twisting into a shaking apology. “I’m so sorry, Alec. I didn’t know that you were…I thought it was a curse or something; that no matter what I did, I couldn’t be killed. I didn’t know I had been hit or stabbed because I couldn’t feel it, because I didn’t bleed. And then I felt you dying, and that pain…I’m sorry you had to feel me die. I- I keep hurting you.”

And then he let it all out. Every bad feeling and fear he’d held inside, they spilled out in sobs and apologies, and Alec took them all and swept them away as he wrapped his arms around his brother and let him cry.

He held him close, hating every ounce of pain that this cruel universe had caused Jace. The pain in his chest meant nothing as he held him, hands rubbing over his back as he whispered words into his hair.

“It’s okay, it’s all okay now, it wasn’t your fault. Just promise me you won’t try again, promise me you’ll be safe. You know what it feels like now, that pain when one of us dies. Don’t make me feel that again. You might not think you deserved to come back, but you didn’t deserve to die in the first place. And we need you. Don’t leave me, Jace.”

And just like that, his chest was full of light. The dread and pain was gone, replaced with everything he’d needed to hear. Jace may be in love with Clary, but no one knew his soul like his brother.

“I promise.”

 (Please tell me what you think of this? I came up with the idea before 2x20 even aired so I’ve been waiting a little while to post it. I’ll also be posting it on my ao3 and ff.net accounts.)