#and they would never replace normal games they would just be a different experience like a racing game is different from a narrative game

[strike-another-match]

copyright issues aside AI really feels like a case of killing the goose that lays the golden eggs, it's really not inherently a bad technology (is there even such a thing?) and we've seen how it can open up new possibilities for visual effects when used as an actual tool in elemental or spiderverse, but greedy assholes saw generators like midjourney and went "yeah, we're gonna take the easy bake oven equivalent of an actual art tool and replace 90% of our staff with it", making sure no one in the non-technical side of the art industry will want anything to do with it ever again

[elliesmainhoe]

Ellie Williams Headcanons : RichOlderWoman!Ellie

I got this as an ask but Tumblr ate it 😱 so here you go anon.

Okay Okay. So, first things first, from day one Ellie was always adamant when saying that you were NEVER her sugar baby.

you were just her controversially young girlfriend who she liked to spoil and have perched on her lap during boring business meetings.

speaking of SPOLING-

she regularly takes you on trips to expensive high end malls which exclusively house designer brands and WILL buy you anything you look at as long as you hold her hand while you both walk around.

but CEO Ellie Williams is a busy woman, and doesn't always have a long enough interval between meetings to keep you company.

in those cases she simply kisses you cheek and forehead before handing you a small black card and saying "give me a show of everything you buy when I get home, hm?"

arthritis may be fast approaching but those hips do not slow

(jk she's only in her late thirties, and you know for a fact the extent of working out she does keeps her joints in check)

in fact she gives the best strap game. the experience and the variety of expensive toys and the regular gym routine = 🤩

always her arm candy

every once in a while after lovingly gazing at you for a little too long, looking at your soft supple thighs, pink lipstick coated lips and shiny hair cascading beautifully from your head. she feels insecure?

it's an odd feeling.

an unfamiliar feeling.

but Ellie is mature, it's one thing you admire about herand she knows that a problem won't be resolved unless she talks to you.

so she does, and as soon as the voices of concern fall from her lips, you soon put those thoughts to rest <333

she does the same to you!!

it was a normal day, you woke up to a cup of coffee on your bed side, a small pastry from your favorite bakery, a credit card and a note which read:

"Good Morning my love, I completely forgot about the early morning meeting I had today. I got you some pastries as an apology, I'm sorry we can't go shopping today like we planned, but here's my card and the driver can take you to the mall.

Love you pretty girl, Ellie x"

•••••••

it was a while later when Joel, your driver, pulled up outside the office building, you thanked him swiftly and walked quickly towards the automatic doors of 'Williams Enterprises Headquarters', expensive jimmy choo heels clicking against the concrete entrance. The security guard, Bob, nodded his head in greeting and you returned the gesture with a smile.

The receptionist was... different. the usual blonde haired girl was replaced by a middle aged woman with greying hair, deep set wrinkles imbedded in pale skin. "Hi what can I do for you today?" a high squeaky voice came from her mouth. a tone of voice you knew from years of retail work and customer service, you winced instinctively.

"Hi, I'm here to see Miss Williams." you reply, fingers tightening on the strap of the mulberry purse Ellie had gifted you for your 2nd anniversary a few months passed.

"hmmm. I don't see you on the schedule, do you have an appointment?" she smiled, the fakeness clear and tone of voice irritated.

"oh, uhm no. I'm her girlfriend" silence. the fake smile plastered on the woman's face falling, as she looked over behind her to a colleague who nodded in confirmation of the story you had given her.

"sorry if this is intrusive kid, but aren't you a little young." she spoke, and chewed a piece of him you hadn't noticed before rather obnoxiously. "I mean I can tell you're..." her eyes scanned your frame "reaping the benefits."

"I mean, god I can't blame you" she continued " if I had the looks and youth I once did I would happily suck off anyone for chanel. Now tell me doll, how much surgery has Mrs. Williams paid for you to have done, surely those tits aren't real?"

you quickly brushed past her, ignoring the intrusive questions and stepped into the elevator, pressing the floor Ellie's office resided on.

the site of you immediately brought a smile onto your girlfriend's previously pinched and visibly frustrated face. "Hi pretty girl,", she pushed out her chair from behind her desk, patting her thigh for you to sit on. "Hi Els." the frown you couldn't quite erase from your features furrowed your brows in a way Ellie couldn't ignore.

"What happened baby? you upset with me for leaving earlier?" she asked softly, adjusting you on her lap and kissing your temple. "nah it's not that- I just-" your hands instinctively began playing with Ellie's fingers, twisting the ring on her index finger slowly. "the new lady, in reception. she said something-" you sighed. "and I just can't shake it."

"do you think that, I'm a burden? that the fact I'm so young means I'm leeching off you? I don't want to do that Ells. I like dresses and bags and makeup and you give that to me because you can, but I just- if you ever don't want to buy me stuff, please tell me Ells, I don't want to take and take and take when you don't want me to."

a soft chuckle shook Ellie's chest "pretty girl, look at me. The reason I work is to spoil you, the reason I go to these bullshit meetings with these stuckup assholes is to give you and me a life where money is no object. I love you sweet girl" she kissed your plush lips, the tension seemingly draining out of your body at the touch.

"now, which receptionist said that?"

•••••••••

A/N: cute little hc and drabble to get me back into the swing of things.

[furiousgoldfish]

(tw mentions of physical abuse, essay about life after abuse)

Imagine a kid who is forced to work, in a room where they're being kicked while they work. It doesn't happen all the time, but often enough that they know to expect to be kicked while they work. If they refuse to work, abuse gets worse, so the least painful thing they can do is work and endure being kicked.

Eventually, the kid escapes. Now they're in a situation where they need to work to earn income to survive. They only know the one job they did while being kicked, so thats what they do. They find themselves in a room, and as they work, their stomach clenches. They're looking around anxiously, expecting to be kicked. It doesn't happen, but people are walking by, and some of them come too close, and it feels like a kick is about to happen. 

They flinch every time and are met with bewilderment, offense, sometimes ridicule for being paranoid. But they can't help it. Being kicked is all they know. Every time it doesn't happen, it feels like a cruel joke, a prank that is being played, a game. A setup to make them feel stupid for imagining they wont get kicked.

From the outside, it looks normal. Nobody is kicking them, nobody is doing any harm to them. Other people must wonder why are they flinching. Why are their reactions bizarre. It comes off weird. Self obsessed. They hold this view of themselves in their mind, because they had to view themselves from others point of view for self preservation. They know they're only viewed critically and try their best to offer a good preformance of normalcy. But it does nothing to change the fear or the pain they feel. They assume its irrational and illogical to feel this, since nobody else seems to be ecperiencing that.

They're no longer being kicked, but they're still in the environment where nobody cares what they're going trough. They do not receive any warmth, concern or understanding; they're unable to connect with anyone in their environment due to differences in life experience. They don't get a chance at bonding or having a community. They're in a sea of impassive strangers, all one their own.

They have no way of asserting their emotions because they're foreign and unrelatable to everyone else. The dissaproval, misunderstandings and judgments fall heavy on their heart, feel li.ke a punishment. They cannot even acknowledge that others around them get acceptance, community, connections and approval, because that concept is unexperienced and foreign to them. They cannot see they're at a disadvantage, and not standing on equal grounds. They feel shame for not managing their situation better, while being an outcast.

And in the end they wish they would just get kicked already. One reliable, predictable and constant thing in their life was replaced by endless anxious anticipation and foreign environment that brings new shame. Before, they could at least count on something, have a tangible proof of harm, know how to react, what to do. Usually after the pain would happen, there would be a few moment of relief because the worst was over and at least they could relax for a second. And their brain adapted to it, releasing relaxing chemicals only after pain, and never breaking tension otherwise.

Now there is no breaking of the tension, nobody is visibly causing pain, and they're stuck feeling anticipation and dread all of the time, coupled with a shame for so 'ičrrationally' feeling this. 

This is how it feels when abuse victims are expected to immediately function normally after escaping abuse. Being kicked is a metaphor - it could have been anything that chronically caused distress, pain and loss of control over their life.

It's unreasonable to expect someone from an extreme environment to be quickly okay. It's cruel to put them in a situation reminiscent of abuse in any way and expect them not to flinch. It's ignorant to shame them for wanting back the familiar pain, over the stressful new situation they're not equipped to handle. It's unfair to ignore their disadvantage and act like anyone could be okay without any warmth, connection, understanding or community just because they're not being kicked anymore. Most people would collapse without all that. 

It gets worse before it gets better after escaping abuse. It doesn't mean it was wrong to escape, or that victims can't learn to function. Victims are often going above and beyond to make it, and are rewarded for it by being forced to see themselves trough the eyes of society that judges them for being set up to fail.

It will get better. Your brain can and will adapt. You will gain experiences that will allow you to have things in commom with others. You won't have to feel inadequate or ashamed forever. Especially if you can be in a room with people who understand what was done to you, and will not put you in a situation where you have to wonder when a kick is coming.

[myokk]

before it felt like a sin, ch. 2

ch.1

pairing: Sebastian Sallow x f!MC

word count: 6900

summary: Eloise never wanted to be different.

And yet, her differences are what have defined her life up until this point: growing up as a squib in one of the most prominent wizarding families, being exiled to muggle society, and then attending Hogwarts at the age of sixteen.

She finds herself thrust into the life she should have been prepared for from birth but was denied. As she navigates this new life and her new precarious position in her family, she must come to terms with the fact that maybe what she dreamed of her whole life isn't turning out how she ever expected it would.

a/n: here's chapter 2!! I just wanted to add these amazing beautiful drawings I look back on allllllll the time, by @kay9leo 🥹🫶 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!!! 😙💓😙💓😙💓

I also want to reiterate that this fic is REALLY CANON DIVERGENT!!!!! I will NOT be following the game’s plot at all really with this (it really starts to diverge around chapter 6/7 maybe I don’t remember), and I don’t see Eloise as the game’s MC either.

Things were definitely not going as planned…not that Eloise had really known what to expect. Almost from the moment the portkey had brought her to meet Professor Fig, it seemed like everything had gone from bad to worse.

And it had all started out so well. He had handed her the provisional wand, and upon contact the magic coursing through her had been exhilarating. Finally Eloise was able to experience what she had dreamed of for so long. All too soon, however, she was putting the wand to use in ways she hadn’t imagined. Watching Mr. Ospric die had made her blood run cold but then she didn’t have the luxury of processing the shock as so much was happening at once and there was a dragon and death and then…another portkey? Before she knew it, she was fighting some sort of sentient guardians in some mysterious Gringott’s vault and there was concrete proof of the goblin uprising…it was simply too much to take in at once.

Now, she was standing in front of the ornate entrance to a room Professor Fig had called the “Great Hall”. He checked the pocketwatch inside his robes again, and muttered (more to himself than anything) “hopefully the sorting is still going on…” and then in a louder voice as he glanced at Eloise - “come along then, young Eloise!”

He peered more closely at her then, taking in her pale appearance and added in a kinder tone, “I’m sure you’re hungry. We’ll just head in and get you sorted into your house, and then an early night for the both of us. Don’t worry about the things that were lost in the attack - I’m sure one of your new housemates will share her things with you until they are replaced.”

With that, he pushed open the doors and ushered her in. In any normal circumstances, Eloise was sure that she would have been absolutely in awe of the breathtaking appearance that greeted her. It was simply…for lack of a better word, magical. The ceiling was enchanted to look like the night sky above the castle, stars glimmering through the wispy purple clouds that covered the ceiling. There were thousands of candles floating in the air, illuminating the hall in a soft, golden light.

She couldn’t focus on any of that.

As soon as Fig opened the double doors, the low chatter that filled the Great Hall slowly faded as everyone turned to look at who had entered. Eloise froze. Hundreds of faces all staring at her, filled with curiosity.

Judging her.

They must all know that she was a squib and didn’t actually belong there.

No. She had proved her magical capabilities earlier that day, albeit in a different manner than she had expected. She deserved to be here just as much as they did.

The teacher at the far end of the hall was saying something and the students surrounding her had begun to whisper amongst themselves. There was so much buzzing in her ears that she didn’t hear a word that was said. Then, a familiar voice - how in the world could it still be familiar after so much time? - broke through the fog and her head turned sharply to the side at the noise.

“Eloise?”

Her gaze met familiar hazel eyes as Leo quickly stood up, taking a step towards her before he caught himself and stayed where he was. If the shock hadn’t already been apparent enough in his voice, one look at his expression told Eloise everything. He hadn’t had any idea that she had been accepted to Hogwarts. After she had been burned off of the family tree by her mother, it was like she didn’t exist anymore. Of course he hadn’t known that she would be there.

Leo had changed since Eloise last saw him. Of course he did, she thought to herself. It had been five years, after all. The same unruly black curls, same eyes. And yet…he almost seemed a stranger to her. He was taller, face more angular and defined than it had been at thirteen. Voice deeper. But, the expression of vulnerability and guilt written all over his face was something she recognized well. It was the same expression that he had had the last time he saw her, the face she sometimes saw before falling asleep. Just as quickly as it flashed across his face however, it was gone, hidden behind a stony exterior. His expression hardened and he sat down just as quickly as he had stood up, quickly averting his eyes. The people around him were looking between them curiously, but before Eloise could even begin to process this new situation, she felt a gentle push on her shoulder.

Professor Fig had been talking to her. “…the Sorting Hat. You need to go up and get sorted into your house.”

She looked up at him and realized that he was gesturing to the front of the Great Hall, vaguely recalling how Leo had described the sorting ceremony in his first letter home from Hogwarts. Everyone was still staring.

Well, let them, she thought. Eloise tossed her braid over her shoulder and lifted her head high, straightening her posture in the meantime. Did it matter if everyone was staring at her? She determined that if people were going to be whispering about her, speculating about her, she would give them something to talk about. About the girl who was admitted in her fifth-year at Hogwarts. The girl who surpassed them all.

Eloise shook off Professor Fig’s hand and walked to the raised platform, where there was a stool and a professor waiting with an ancient wizarding hat in her hands. As Eloise sat down, a semicircle of professors behind her and the tables of students in front of her, the hat was placed on top of her head. It was so formless and well-worn that the faded fabric slid over her eyes and she was surrounded by darkness.

Hmm…interesting, a voice purred in her mind. Eloise jumped at the sound. Don’t worry, dear. I won’t hurt you, although I suppose that not everyone would say that. My, my. You have had a rough go of things, haven’t you?

It’s not often I get to sort a new fifth-year student. She realized that it was the hat talking to her. Always much more interesting, you see. The first-years are always fun because I get to see their potential and who they will turn out to be, but even that can be fallible sometimes. People are shaped by their experiences.

An older student, though? Someone closer to the person they will be, with more experiences that have shaped them? Oh yes, these are the ones I like the most.

Wait, thought Eloise. You’ve sorted others like me before?

Oh yes. A pause. The voice purred in her ear. I can see the hunger for knowledge in you. But…Ravenclaw seems too simplistic. Behind the intelligence lies great ambition. A desire to prove yourself. Prove you belong. Yes, you may have had a rough life but you have managed to use what’s around you to your advantage. So, you must be a…

“SLYTHERIN!”

Eloise started at the sudden shout, realizing that it must have been out loud. As the hat was pulled off of her head, she could see the students at the table at the far end of the hall, the one Leo was at, break into furious whispers amongst each other. The teacher with her smiled kindly and pointed Eloise in their direction. “That’s the Slytherin table, dear. Once you sit down, we can begin eating.”

Eloise got up numbly and slowly walked towards the table. The whispering got louder as she neared it, and the students kept shooting her glances. Most seemed simply curious about the new, older student who had just been sorted into Slytherin, but others looked at her with hostility. Two students moved aside and motioned to her.

“Figured you would rather sit with us than the first years.”

The girl who spoke gave her an appraising look, taking in her muggle clothing and mussed-up hair. Eloise sat down next to her, nervously smoothing her hands over her skirt. Now that the sorting was over and she was actually interacting with her future classmates, she felt exhausted and completely unable to keep up her facade of nonchalance.

“I was going to ask if you like quidditch but…judging by your clothes -“

“Gods, Imelda,” came a drawling voice to Eloise’s left. “Can’t you give the poor girl a break? Not even one second at our table and you’re already trying to recruit her for the team.”

The boy who spoke gave an amused look to Imelda before turning to Eloise. “You’ll want to watch out for that one - if she even gets a whiff of the fact you can fly a broom, she’ll be out to recruit -“

“It’s not my fault!” Imelda interrupted forcefully, smacking her hands on the table and leaning over Eloise to talk to him. “Our best players all graduated last year and I have it cut out for me -“

“- you to the Slytherin team,” the boy concluded, ignoring Imelda’s heated protests. She sat back with a huff and crossed her arms. “Just ignore her. It’s what we’ve found works best. I’m Sebastian Sallow and this is Ominis Gaunt. Two people you will actually want to spend time with.”

He stuck his tongue out at Imelda as he held his hand out to Eloise. The boy across from them snickered quietly to himself as he listened to Imelda splutter in denial. Eloise shook Sebastian’s hand hesitantly. “Eloise. And actually,” she added, turning to Imelda, “I do know what quidditch is. Unfortunately, I’ve never ridden a broom though.”

That got Imelda going again, this time about how it was absolutely impossible that someone could know about the existence of quidditch without ever touching a broom. She seemed to be of the opinion that knowing of its existence meant an undying desire to learn how to play. “So you’re not a mudblood, then? Oh, who am I kidding - of course you’re not. We’re in Slytherin, after all. But how…”

Fortunately, food started appearing on the table before Imelda could finish her thought. It was enough to move her attention from Eloise as she began to pile different foods on her plate. To be quite honest, Eloise was relieved. She wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell others about her circumstances, especially during this first night before she knew anyone. Would they think differently of her if they knew that she had been disowned from her family and presumed a squib?

Who was she kidding? Of course everyone would judge her for that. Besides, she knew she wanted to talk to Leo before revealing anything - maybe he could help her get a feel for how to approach the situation. If he wanted to even associate with her, that is. Once again, the thought passed through her mind that he could have changed through the years, just as she had. Their parents could be quite persuasive, and more often than not the two siblings had learned that it was easier to go along with them than against.

Leo had grown up with the adoration of their parents, showing magical prowess at the young age of three, when his favorite toys started following him around in a little parade. Eloise, on the other hand…as the years passed and she still wasn’t showing signs of anything at all, not even a measly show of a sneeze blowing her away, their parents started working to distance the siblings from each other. It hadn’t been very effective and yet…without her presence, she could see him moving on in his life. Just as she had tried to do.

A sharp poke to her side. Eloise jumped and looked at Sebastian. “Aren’t you going to eat anything? You need to grab the good things before they’re gone - it’s every man out for himself during the feasts.”

She looked around and, sure enough, the food on the plates was steadily going down. It all looked absolutely delicious - mountains of meat, bread, puddings…her stomach growled loudly as she took it all in. Eloise hurriedly started putting the closest food to her on her plate, reaching over to give herself a heaping serving of mashed potatoes on the side. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he replied after swallowing the food he was eating. “I’m sure you’ve had a long day if you arrived that late to the sorting ceremony. As you walked up to the stool, Ominis and I had a bet about which house you would be sorted into. I told him, after my first glance at you, that I could tell you’d be one of us, but unfortunately, he - “

“Hey! I can hear you,” Ominis said from across the table, leaning forward slightly. Eloise realized that he was blind - his eyes had no pupils at all. His gaze was unfocused but his head turned in her direction. He explained, “I could only sense your form as you walked down the Hall. And, for the record, before Sebastian can say otherwise, I said I could tell you would be a Slytherin. Will the blind jokes ever get old?”

“As long as I have breath in my body - hey!”

Ominis had thrown a roll at Sebastian’s head which, surprisingly, hit its mark.

“I might not be able to see what just happened, but I know that I’ve just won,” Ominis said smugly, returning his attention to his plate.

Eloise just sat there, not really knowing how to react. This time, it was Imelda’s turn to say, “just ignore them. Luckily, we won’t need to see much more of them as the feast’s finishing up.” She wrinkled her nose in Sebastian’s direction, a gesture that was swiftly returned. Even though she had just met the three of them, Eloise couldn’t help but feel happy just listening to their back-and-forth. She did feel a twinge of…something, though, knowing that she could have been with them since their first year, if only her magic had shown itself sooner.

Mountains of dessert started to replace the remnants of the dinner: plum pudding, lemon tarts, cakes…it was more dessert in one place than Eloise had ever seen in her life. None of the students held back at all trying to get their favorites, especially if it was at the expense of another. The atmosphere was electric - everyone was excited to be back among their friends and catch up over everything that had happened the summer before, and Eloise was happy to just be among them.

She reached for a lemon tart, and when she looked up, she saw that Leo was staring at her intently. He looked away as soon as they made eye contact, but the moment didn’t go past Imelda’s notice.

“Do you know him?” she asked, nodding towards Leo. Eloise flushed and looked down at her plate, nodding reluctantly. She knew as soon as they went through role call the next day, everyone would know that she was a Babbit.

“Yes, he’s…er -“

Eloise broke off, grabbing the nearest goblet of pumpkin juice and drinking the whole thing in one go. When she came up for air, Imelda was still looking at her expectantly. Eloise took a deep breath and tried continuing, but… “I’m not really sure,” is all that came out of her mouth.

Imelda furrowed her brow, clearly trying to figure out how that answer made sense and Eloise wasn’t about to clarify for her. Although it wouldn’t be long before it got out that they were siblings, she wasn’t sure how much she wanted these new acquaintances to know about her at the moment. She had had enough pitying looks to last her a lifetime, and she just knew that once they found out she had been a squib…

“Hey Sebastian,” a pretty blonde girl said, leaning towards the group. She shot Eloise a curious glance but quickly looked back at her target. “Where’s Anne? Is she still gone this year? What a pity…the two of you are…were…sewn together at the hip and I was looking forward to finally being the one who gets between the two of you this year.” At this, the girls surrounding her started tittering and she flipped her hair over her shoulder and pouted. “I thought there would be more of a challenge. But if you’re going to be the changed Sebastian again this year…”

“Who’s…” Eloise trailed off as she saw Sebastian’s expression. It had changed into something almost unrecognizable - at least, to someone who had only known him for all of forty-five minutes. He was looking at the girl with a mixture of barely-controlled fury and…something else that Eloise couldn’t quite place. She shrank away from him as she took in his stricken expression.

“She’s still sick,” he said shortly as he stood up. His hands bunched into tight fists and his body was shaking. Sebastian quickly turned and stormed down the hall. They all watched him go in silence; once he left, the blonde girl turned to Ominis.

“Gods, what’s his problem? So what if she misses a few days of school?” She looked around at everyone, pouting. “You all know I’m right. Last year he was a mess but he should be getting over it by now.”

“You always speak before thinking, Victoria,” Ominis said tersely, getting up. “One of these days, it’s going to get you in trouble. If you keep this up, when that happens nobody will be around to help you pick up the pieces.” With that, he strode away after Sebastian.

Eloise blinked and looked around. The rest of the students were starting to get up and slowly move towards their respective common rooms having finished their dessert, and the prefects were starting to herd the first-years along. Victoria laughed weakly and turned to her friends, effectively ignoring Eloise and Imelda as if they weren’t there. “I think the summer holidays have made people extra sensitive this year. I honestly don’t know what their problem is.”

“Come on, then,” said Imelda, shooting Victoria a dirty look. “Let’s head to the dorms.”

Eloise stood up and started following Imelda’s lead. She was parting the students with ease as she walked through the crowd. Her strides were so long that Eloise had to half-jog to keep up with her. “Our common room is in the dungeons,” Imelda said, looking over her shoulder at Eloise. “The other houses are creeped out by it, but they haven’t actually seen it. You’ll see.”

Because of how quickly Imelda strode through the corridors and down the stairs, Eloise didn’t have much time to take in the rest of the castle. She did however realize that they were winding through the corridors in such a way that she would be hopelessly lost if Imelda weren’t with her. The two of them arrived at the Slytherin common room well before the other students due to Imelda’s fast pace. As they entered the common room after saying the correct password - basilisk - Eloise couldn’t help but look around in wonder. There was light piano music playing in the background - Chopin, Eloise thought she recognized it from her piano lessons at the muggle school. Even though the overall tones of the place were cool - blues and greens filtering through the tall glass windows and from the lamps, the checkered marble floors and columns giving off an air of cold elegance - the beautiful rugs and happily crackling fires made it all come together and seem oddly cozy. Various tables and desks were scattered around the space, and comfortable looking armchairs and couches crowded around low tables. Eloise could just picture it teeming with students studying after class or hanging out on the weekends. She knew that it was a place that could finally feel like home to her.

“I tried, Ominis,” came a hushed whisper from near the windows. Imelda and Eloise froze at the entrance to the common room and glanced at each other. “I just can’t do it. I know what you and Anne told me but…”

“Sebastian. Anne doesn’t want you to wallow and waste your time here worrying about her. I know that you’re worried for her. I mean, I am too. You know she’s like a sister to me.”

“You have no idea,” Sebastian interrupted fiercely. His back was hunched over and he was holding his face in his hands. “It should have been me. I can’t live with myself. With this guilt.”

“No, you -“ Ominis cut himself off as the sound of the other students filtering in started to fill the room. The boys abruptly sat up straighter, although they didn’t look at each other. Oblivious to the tension between the two, a group of second-years sat on the sofa right next to them, as they excitedly caught up with each other.

“I’ll show you our room,” Imelda said, turning to Eloise. “It gets pretty crazy here the first night back from any holidays, with everyone catching up. I don’t know about you, but I want to get some sleep! Quidditch tryouts are next week and I already know how exhausting it will be.”

Eloise really was exhausted, and nothing sounded better to her than finally going to sleep. The dorms seemed to be set up so that the stairs going up led to the girls’ dormitories, and the ones going down to the boys’. Imelda explained that it was due to the fact that boys weren’t to be trusted, and the stairs would turn into a slide if any boy attempted to go up them. It wasn’t something that Eloise had even considered, due to the fact that she had just come from an all-girls school, but she flushed at the implication.

As they reached the staircase, they almost crashed into Sebastian. Imelda had been marching towards the stairs with a single-minded determination and Sebastian had been heading towards his with just as much purpose.

Eloise bounced off of his shoulder. She grabbed her own, wincing slightly. He was more solid than he looked. He looked blankly at the two girls before shaking his head and realizing where they were. “Gods, I’m so sorry. I’m just -“ he gave his head another little shake and saw that Eloise was holding her shoulder. “Are you hurt?”

“It’s fine,” Eloise reassured him. She gave a small smile. “I’ve had worse, it’s really nothing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” interrupted Imelda. She shot Sebastian a concerned look. “Go to bed. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Imelda shook her head sadly and the girls resumed their path. “Poor boy. He hasn’t been the same since the summer after our third year. I mean, he was always kind of obsessive, but in a charming way. He was on the quidditch team with me, and always really determined to be the absolute best, always working hard to show all of the other students they don’t even know half as much as he does. That sort of thing, you know? It’s not like he was insufferable, his charm drew everyone to him.”

She held the door open and Eloise walked in. It was a cozy circular room, with five four-poster beds. A small fire in the middle of the room warmed the whole place up, and Eloise was relieved to see it. When Imelda had told her that their dormitory was in the dungeons, she had immediately pictured a dark, cold, slimy space. Only one of the beds didn’t have trunks placed at its foot, and Eloise went straight to it. Her trunk had been lost in the dragon attack. She was relieved to see a nightgown laid on top of the bed and a pair of green slippers neatly lined up on the floor; she hadn’t been sure what she would wear.

Imelda sat down heavily on the bed next to Eloise’s and started unlacing her boots. She continued talking. “Then, in our fourth year, he comes to school after summer holidays. Alone. He hasn’t been the same since. Nobody’s quite sure what’s going on with his sister, except that it’s bad. She’s not expected to live much longer.”

“Oh my god,” breathed Eloise. “I can’t even imagine.”

“Me neither.” Imelda shook her head. “He got into trouble left and right last year, there were even rumors of a duel…I don’t think there was a single week where he didn’t have detention. I mean, I don’t blame him, but - he was taken off the team! This year he better not, I can’t afford to lose my best beater again.”

The girls continued chattering quietly to themselves about other topics as they got ready for the night. Slipping into their nightgowns, braiding each others’ hair, and, finally, slipping under the freshly turned bed covers. Eloise turned towards Imelda and simply whispered, “thank you.” Although they had just met, Eloise felt certain in the knowledge that she had just made her first friend.

Imelda waved her off. “It’s nothing. Get some sleep, the first day of classes is always overwhelming. I can’t even imagine starting as a fifth-year.”

With that, she rolled over and soon Eloise heard her breathing deepen as she fell asleep. She stared at the canopy covering her bed for what seemed like an eternity. The low murmurs of the other girls as they came in and got ready for bed slowly morphed into drowsy good-nights, until finally the room was silent except for the steady tick of a clock and their breathing.

As tired as she felt, Eloise couldn’t stop the racing of her mind. It felt like the last few days had more action than the entirety of her life. Even though banished had, at the time, been incredibly momentous for her, it paled in comparison to finding out that she actually was a witch and had been admitted to Hogwarts. She had used magic for the first time today. The rush of power that ran through her body when she cast spells was unlike anything else she had ever experienced. It just felt right. Like some part of her that had been hidden away had finally made itself known and she felt whole for the first time. She wondered if everyone else felt that same rush, that same desire to know and master absolutely every aspect of magical knowledge. She had been given a gift that until now had felt like a pathetic little daydream and she wasn’t about to waste it now that she had it.

The clock kept on ticking lazily and still Eloise was awake. She eventually got up and after shrugging on a robe and slipping on the green slippers, headed towards the common room. She and Imelda hadn’t spent much time in it earlier, and she wanted to see it at least once without any people, maybe as a space just for herself.

As it was even later in the night - it must have been around three - the fire had been extinguished and the light filtering through the windows had turned an even deeper shade of emerald green. It covered the mahogany furniture with an eerie light, as if Eloise had stepped into some strange underworld instead of the empty Slytherin common room. She trailed her hand along the velvet back of a sofa, mesmerized by the stark contrast of the green highlights and black shadows as her hand moved. Lazily twirling a globe as she walked past, the room silent except for her muffled footsteps.

It was precisely the silence that absorbed her completely. Being alone had always been her favorite thing; there was just something so special about being the only person in a place, feeling as if you were the only holder of some great secret. Eloise made her way towards the tall glass windows as if in a dream, not really noticing anything of her surroundings and yet taking it all in. The feeling of being there.

When she heard the soft voice she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“You couldn’t sleep either?”

Eloise whirled towards the voice, feeling as if her heart was about to burst through her chest. The student - a male - was sitting by one of the windows. Since the only light source was the windows, his face was entirely shrouded in black. Eloise was suddenly very aware of how indecently she was dressed to be outside of her dormitory. The sudden change from complete, eerie tranquility was shattered and she wrapped her robe more tightly around her, keeping her arms hugged around her body.

“Who -“

The boy straightened up, tilting his head back toward the window and, with the aid of the green light, Eloise saw that it was Ominis.

“What are you doing down here, Ominis? You almost gave me a heart attack! You’re sitting in the shadows and I thought I was alone.”

“I could ask the same of you,” he said simply, the hint of an amused smirk gracing his features. “And, might I add, I didn’t mean to scare you on purpose. I thought you were purposely walking towards me. For all I know, it could be the break of dawn and I’m basking in the early rays of the sun.”

Eloise’s jaw dropped open in mortification. She had completely forgotten that he was blind. “How did you know that I was walking towards you?” She clapped her hands over her mouth in horror, the words leaving before she could stop them. What was wrong with her? With her sudden movement, her robes had fallen open again, revealing her nightgown, but she was too distraught over possibly having offended Ominis than continuing to follow the rules of propriety. “Oh Merlin’s beard, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

He just huffed quietly. They hadn’t spoken much at dinner, and Eloise was positive that he was angry with her. Maybe he had only acknowledged her presence because his best friend had seen fit to talk with her. Growing up blind, it would make sense for him to be sensitive to any comments regarding it…her face was flushed with mortification and guilt, and she slowly started backing away. Eloise figured it was better to just end the whole encounter being ruder still by making a hasty retreat, than to put her foot in her mouth once again and risk offending him more.

“No, wait,” Ominis said as soon as he realized she was walking away. His voice was choked with emotion and it seemed difficult for him to get the words out. Eloise froze and looked at him. His whole body was shaking, and she couldn’t tell if he was angry or…

Was he laughing?

“I might be blind, but I’m not deaf. In this silence, I would have been able to notice if anyone had entered the room even if they were trying to be sneaky, which you certainly were not. Stay, if you want.”

Eloise hesitated, then took the seat across from Ominis in the window. She nervously smoothed her nightgown over her legs. “Just so you know, you’re completely in shadow. If you hadn’t said anything, I probably would have walked right past you without realizing that you were here too.”

“I’ll choose a better spot to sit next time then, when I can’t fall asleep in the middle of the night,” he replied seriously. If not for the fact that he had just been teasing her, she would have thought that he was really taking what she said into consideration. “You never answered my original question. You can’t sleep?”

Eloise shook her head, then quickly added, “no. So much has happened these last few days…my brain always has a hard time turning off. Especially after a day like today.”

Ominis hummed in understanding, tilting his head towards her. The green light filtering through the water danced over his gaunt features, making his cheekbones and the dark circles under his eyes more prominent. His pupil-less eyes glowed eerily in the light. “I can only imagine. You arrived late to the sorting, and your aura was very unnerving as you stepped into the Great Hall. I immediately knew something was extraordinary about you.”

“My…aura?”

“Yes. I might not be able to see, but my wand does it for me. It’s hard to explain but…I can sense the people around me. I can’t make out features, but everyone has their own unique aura radiating from them. Yours is…different.”

Different? It must have something to do with the fact she hadn’t had any magical ability until recently. Maybe it was stunted or…maybe her aura was different due to the stress of the day.

“I saw someone murdered in front of me today,” Eloise blurted out before she could stop herself. Ominis didn’t look surprised by her sudden outburst, he merely remained still as he waited for Eloise to continue. “It was…shocking. A dragon came out of nowhere and just ripped our carriage in half, taking Mr. Osric with it. The worst part is…I’m-I’m shocked because it happened. But I’m not sad. I don’t feel the horror I think I should be feeling, and that is more horrifying to me. When I was lying in bed, the events of today kept replaying in my mind on a loop and I kept on trying to make myself feel the correct emotions. But I couldn’t. Something inside of me is broken.”

Eloise looked down at her hands, fingers wringing and untwisting together in her lap. She tried to force herself to sit as still as Ominis, but it was impossible. She couldn’t believe how easy it was to unload all of this onto a stranger, but he didn’t seem to mind listening. There was silence for a few minutes, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. Eloise peeked at Ominis from under her lashes. The boy appeared to be deep in thought.

“I couldn’t sleep either,” he finally said. “It’s normal for me, though. I also have a hard time turning off my thoughts, especially at night. This little corner of the common room feels like mine, in a sense. I’ve been coming here to think since I was a first-year. Maybe I subconsciously chose this place because, if you’re right, it’s more hidden than the rest. Nobody will see me if they’re sneaking around late at night, and it’s so peaceful.”

“That I can agree with,” said Eloise. “I actually came down here to see what it was like when it’s empty. I don’t quite know how to explain it, but this place already feels like home to me. A far sight better than the place I left behind. Places.”

“If you want me to leave, I’m fine with giving up my hiding place for a worthy cause.”

“No,” Eloise said quickly. “I…I like having you here. With me. It means I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts.”

Ominis smiled and tilted his head, not quite looking at her in that odd way of his. “It’s nice, talking to you. Most people avoid me. I can’t imagine why.”

Eloise huffed in quiet laughter. They sat in silence for a while longer, until Ominis broke it again. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But…am I correct in guessing that you and Leo Babbit know each other?”

Eloise’s breath hitched in her throat. She still wasn’t sure how much of her past she wanted people to know…but she also knew that as soon as the day broke the castle would be swirling with rumors. And, as much as she hated the thought, the truth would come out one way or another. She had been lucky enough so far…her name hadn’t been said at the sorting due to the unusual circumstances. But, come morning, everyone would put the pieces together once her name was called out by a teacher.

She could test the waters with someone like Ominis, who seemed like the sort of fellow who would take it in stride.

“I…like I said, you don’t have to tell me,” Ominis said softly.

“No! No, it’s fine,” Eloise assured him. “It’s…complicated. I would prefer if it never came out but…if the school I was at before is any indication, everyone will know by lunch tomorrow regardless of if I say anything or not.” She took a deep breath, steadying herself. “My full name is Eloise Babbit. Leo is my brother.”

Ominis showed no reaction. It gave her the strength to continue.

“I was rejected by my family. As the years went by and I still wasn’t showing any signs of magic, I was ignored by my parents in favor of Leo. When my eleventh year came and went without any acceptance letter to Hogwarts, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was actually a squib. Up until then, I had held onto the hope and the day I lost that, I lost everything. I was banished and burned off of the family tree, like I never existed. Until a few days ago, I was learning how to become a perfect muggle wife at one of their horrid finishing schools. My family had already prepared a marriage for me to a prominent muggle family, reasoning that I could at least give them important connections.” She spat that last word out. Even speaking the words was a bitter reminder of the life she had almost led. “Based on Leo’s reaction, he definitely didn’t know that I had been admitted to Hogwarts. I don’t even know what’s worse: if my parents knew and decided not to tell him, or if the fact that I was burned off the family tree means that they wouldn’t have received a notification.”

She stared at her hands again. What was it about this boy that made her want to unload everything to him? Yes, he had asked her about it, but she still felt guilty for talking to him at all. Like somehow, telling him would make it his problem as well.

“If there’s anyone in this school who understands the horrors of one’s family, it’s me,” he said. Eloise looked up at him in surprise. He chuckled quietly, as if he could see her expression. “My family are direct descendants of Salazar Slytherin. Absolutely stark-raving mad, pureblood fanatics. We’ve gotten quite reclusive in the past hundred years or so, and don’t have much contact with the outside world. Your family’s inbreeding resulted in fear of giving birth to a potential squib. Mine, in the form of a useless, blind son who has no interest in continuing their crazy beliefs. I guess you could say we are two kindred souls. Maybe that’s what your aura was trying to tell me earlier this evening.”

“I guess so,” Eloise replied. Both could tell that the other wasn’t saying everything on their mind, but she wanted to give him the same comfort he had offered her and decided not to pry. “Thank you, Ominis.”

He inclined his head towards her and then moved his unseeing gaze to the large stained glass window. They sat there for quite some time, at least it felt that way to Eloise. The passage of time seemed not to exist as she and Ominis sat there, deep inside their own thoughts. Formless shadows danced behind the window, their regular movements helping to calm her thoughts. After what seemed like an eternity, Eloise found herself stifling a yawn.

“It seems your day has finally caught up with you,” Ominis said, smiling softly. “I think it’s best if we head to bed. Hogwarts might be more progressive than the muggle school you’ve just escaped, but if anyone sees us here together it would just further the rumors already swirling around you.”

Eloise nodded her assent and stood up slowly. She hadn’t realized how much time they had spent there until she felt the stiffness in her muscles that only comes from remaining still for a very long time. Ominis also got up slowly, gracefully stretching out his long body in the process. As he stood, she saw him grab his wand out of his pocket, and it began glowing a faint red as he walked. That must be how he gets around, she thought to herself. He did say his wind has a mind of its own.

She followed him and they slowly made their way to the two sets of stairs leading to the dormitories. They paused once they were about to part. “Goodnight, Ominis.”

“Goodnight, Eloise. I’ll see you tomorrow. Or rather, I’ll sense your presence later on this morning.” He gave her a faint smile and then turned to head down the stairs leading to his dormitory. Eloise stood there, watching until she couldn’t see the red glow of his wand anymore. With a yawn, she turned towards her room and soon slipped under the covers, sleep finally coming. Before she fell asleep, she had only the fleeting realization that Ominis had not actually answered her question.

The title is a link to everything on ao3, but just in case you didn’t catch that, here it is🫶

next chapter

[aquatark]

My previous post made me realize that not a lot of people here are aware of Endless Ocean's bowmouth guitarfish glitch fiasco, which I think is a shame because 1) it's an interesting look into this game's history, and 2) I find it really funny... long-winded explanation incoming!

So! you see this guy?

You can place him in the game's aquarium, right? I bet if you've played the game, you've done it without even thinking twice!

...Well, in the initial Japanese release of Endless Ocean (known over there as Forever Blue), you couldn't. In fact, attempting to place this little scrimbly in the aquarium crashes your game.

Now this isn't too bad, since you can just press the reset button and continue your game normally, right? well... if you happen to leave the aquarium and save the game after having opened the creature placing menu, selecting a bowmouth guitarfish, and then closing the menu without placing anything... then congrats! you can never use the aquarium again, because it autoplaces whatever you left in that menu on your next visit! :D

In case you're wondering what this looks like in action, this video taken around the game's launch showcases it well, while also using the game's MP3 playback feature to put some anime music in the background, which I think adds to the experience:

So... how does this happen? How could something like this make it into the final game?

Turns out, this is due to how Endless Ocean categorizes creatures internally. Each creature in the game falls into a category, depending on the movements and behaviors the developers wanted to give them. For example, "migrate" type creatures follow a set of coordinate points creating a route around a stage, whereas "swim" type creatures simply swim around the area in which they are placed within a certain radius. Think of a whale shark's movements versus that of a butterflyfish - they have very different AI telling them how to behave.

Now, trying to load a creature of one type as a creature of another... does not make the game happy, to put it lightly. It doesn't know how to handle the request, and so crashes to prevent further weirdness from ensuing. There is only one byte (literally the second smallest unit of digital information storage you could use) per creature responsible for telling the game what type to load the creature as, and this includes when placing creatures in the aquarium. A slip of the keyboard caused a dev to type the wrong number in this byte, making it attempt to spawn bowmouth guitarfish placed in the aquarium as "swim" type rather than their correct "migrate" type. Literally one wrong number caused the game to crash, and for ears to bleed across Japan.

Since the aquarium is unlocked so early in the game, people discovered this on day one, in their first play session... and since Endless Ocean was a launch game for the Wii in Japan, that's even worse. It's not exactly a great look for your brand new console to have a game break so bad you can't use a mechanic anymore. And Wii game crashes are not pretty. So, Nintendo put out a statement on the day of release, notifying people of the problem, how to avoid it, and saying that a recall would be put in place. A week later, they released another statement, which stated people could apply to have their games replaced with an updated version, which would be mailed to them free of charge, by either phoning in or filling out an application online. This service continued up until 2020, over ten years after release! They really didn't want any copies of the broken version around... good thing we have archives of it!

The updated version even has different box art, with an added blue bar at the bottom, showcased in this incredibly crunchy image:

I love picturing Nintendo executives freaking out after a humble diving game causes such a mess they have to print the game again, losing them a lot of money and causing the game to get a lot of negative press...

I've seen old forum threads talking about the game as if it's garbage before it even came out internationally, because this situation was pretty much the only major news coming out about it. Can't have helped sales, at least...

Anyway, the game was patched to fix this glitch, along with a few other minor tweaks, and it was this version of the game that got translated worldwide. Japanese fans love joking about the whole ordeal, and I can see why! For example, on the bowmouth guitarfish's Niconico Pedia page (for which the closest equivalent in English would be something like Know Your Meme), this is recounted comedically as "...probably the most notable moment for the bowmouth guitarfish in the history of the internet", which is probably true! There's even image macros about it!

So yeah. The bowmouth guitarfish's reputation was forever tainted, and some Nintendo execs to this day probably wince when they see one.

tl;dr - A developer for Endless Ocean typed one number wrong in the code, making the game explode if you place a bowmouth guitarfish in the aquarium. Nintendo had to recall the game, and that specific fish has lived on in infamy among Japanese fans ever since.

Next time you use the aquarium, try putting a bowmouth guitarfish in there, and be grateful you can at all!

[one-green-frog]

Ok so some poeple requested a Little Munchkin part 3, so yaaa, here we go. It's... something

Enjoy!

Little Munchkin part 3

Pt.1 / Pt. 2

Bonzen Haitani brothers x child!reader

Ever since Y/N has been adopted by his new family his life got turned upside down. No longer did he have to roam around the streets bored, alone, waiting form sunrise to sundown to finally go home. Now his life was filled with excitement, new clothes that actually fit him instead of some dirty hand-me-downs, freshly cooked food instead of some cold leftovers and most importantly he has a family that cared for him deeply.

But still, there was something that was missing from little Y/N's life: friends

Sure while he had some amazing men accompany him everywhere to make sure he's safe, he had his dads and their friends, but there wasn't anyone his age. No one to share his sentiment about his toy car collection, no one that just as excited to talk about their favorite game characters, he just felt so lonely sometimes even with everyone around.

It wasn't even Y/N' fault, he was an amazing kid, always kind and happy to help, it was all his bodyguards that literally scared everyone away. They were by his side all the time, there wasn't a chance that a kid would approach Y/N.

Ran and Rindou noticed jow sad their kid was, especially when they were watchign TV. All those displayed of friends going on adventures made the kid realized just how different he was to normal kids. He didn't even have the privilege to go to school private or not, oh what he would give to have at least one day as a normal kid. Instead tutors came to him 5 days a week to teach him something he could learn in a normal school too, but it was too "dangerous".

Y/N wasn't stupid, he knew his dads were making money through some bad business and that meant that a lot of other bad people and the police were sure to exploit any weak points they had and Y/N was probably their biggest.

As the kid got older it became more apparent that he really needed a friend. There were many times were he would lash out, his usual sweet behavior replaced by a bitter one. He never resented his parents, of course not, he just wished they would at least loosen the tight leash they had on him, he just wanted to go out a bit, meet new people, socialize like a normal pre-teen. After many many nights of discussion, arguments and pleading the brothers came to the decision that there kid was allowed some freedom. They would take hims to some business travels, meetings they had to attend so he could at least get out of the house and see some different places, but only if he promised to alway stay near and out of trouble, a small price to pay for so much freedom in Y/N's eyes.

Which brings us to now with Ran and Rindou in a meeting and Y/N patiently waiting for them in a hotel lobby, a fancy hotel lobby. At first it was exciting seeing all the fancy furniture, but then it turned to just sitting on a comfy couch running his fingers along the intricate metal design lining the edges of said couch while traversing a bit with his bodyguard. It wasn't anything new, but it also wasn't too boring so he couldn't really complain. An hour and a half already passed, it would be that much longer, Y/N thought, he just had to talk to his bodyguard a bit more just keeping his mind off of things and the tome would fly, nothing exciting. That is until he finally looked up from the couch, scanning the room and he felt someone watching him. A glance over his shoulder reveal.. someone looking quite young similar to his age. Someone who also had bodyguards around him, someone who looked just as bored. Locking eyes with the stranger Y/N immediately felt himself smile, this was his opportunity to experience friendship!!!

He made his way over to the stranger, his bodyguards following him of course, and when he was within speaking range he stopped. While both sides of bodyguards were a bit on edge, Y/N and this new kid just kept staring until Y/N finally started a conversation.

"Hi, could it be... perchance that you're here because your father is in a.. business meeting", Y/N asked

The kid nodded "Yes, and i guess you're here because of the same reason."

"I'm Y/N by the way"

"Call me F/N"

As soon as they introduced each other they began giggling and Y/N tugged the other kid along to explore the hotel again. This time it was much more exciting since he had someone to talk to. The two of them had the time of their lifes just talking to each other F/N revealed that they too were always left alone for safety reasons and this was his first time really talking to someone his age whose parents weren't paid to bring them to the playdate. The rest of their time together was spend talking about game characters, playing some stupid kid's game, laughing and just enjoying each other's presence. Time seemed to fly by and little fid they notice that hours passed and unfortunately for them, the meeting was over.

As soon as Ran and Rindou entered the hotel lobby the ynoticed Y/N laughing with some other kid but they immediately felt on edge as they quickly figured that it was also surrounded by armed men. As soon as Y/N and the kid noticed the brothers, Y/N came charging at them only stopping when he nearly ran into them. He excitedly told them about his new friend, speaking faster than ever, explaining everything they did and why the kid was just so great and just how similar they were. After some word vomit that the kid produced he finally asked them "Can the come over sometimes, please?"

Ran and his brother turned to look at each other, not thoughts on their mind as they need some time to take in everything the little one said. It was obvious that Y/N was in need of a friend and he had already talked to the kid and it seemed fine, but there was the problem of it being the kid of their new business partner. The two brothers communicated silently, reasoning with one another to see if this was a route they should take, before looking up to see the kid talking to their parent just as excitedly as Y/N had just a few seconds before. F/N's father looked up to lock eyes with the haitani brother. Across the hotel lobby they stared at each other and just for a moment it seemed like Y/N luck vanished from existence, until F/N's father sighed and gave a small nod. Ran and his brother did the same, understanding that the other parent relented to make their child happy.

"Of course, little munchkin, it already seems like you two can't be separated"

Y/N shouted a excited "Yeeaaaaahh!!!!" before turning around and running back to F/N to tell him the exciting new.

The sacrifices you make to make your child happy

Allright i wrote this during a train ride, I'm a bit sick so please don't judge too hard. I'm sorry that I'm only feeding you bread crumbs but thats all that i have

If you'll excuse me, I'll crawl back into the cave that i came from

[airyravenmaid]

SAGAU: My Style

Back at it again with sharing my personal ideas with the Self-Aware Genshin AU. I don't see myself writing a full-on fanfic about it because I do NOT trust myself with characterizing everybody properly, and some of the ideas I have in mind wouldn't make for a good universal experience for all, if that makes sense. So, instead, I'll just stick to pitching like I'm at a silly ol' business meeting and providing a simple layout. Now, keep in mind, this is going to focus more on my rendition of an Imposter AU specifically, which means I'm also going to do a little nitpicking of some common tropes in it that I find could be done better or even differently. It won't be me saying that anybody who writes them in the traditional sense is bad or doing a bad job, just what I'd do differently. So, without further ado, check out my mish-mushed ideas below the cut:

It all starts with the Creator Themsleves, aka, us. Or, rather, us before we became us. Not making sense? That's fine, but lemme delve into that a little better. Game lore-wise for this AU, there actually was a fully existing, fully breathing Creator that's been around since even before the Archons (but not by too much; Zhongli's still no spring chicken in spite of this). Yes, they did create Teyvat and all that's good in it like the flora, the fauna, and the creatures, and they had a close bond with said Archons not just as people serving, advising, and worshipping their God/ruler, but also in a legitimate friendship (so, no, they're not 100% subservient or gutless ass-kissers-- it's more of an equal dynamic). Maybe one Archon of your choice (within reason) being close enough to the point of being (secret) lovers, if you'd like. Such explains the Archons' deep attachment to the Creator, and their eagerness to see them again after tragedy-- like, say, the Cataclysm that razed Khaenri'ah-- renders them comatose and not to awaken again until present day. Until then, the Creator's body lies safely in sleep like Princess Aurora within their main temple/palace, occasionally visited by their old companions (minus Ei, who's in her hidey-hole until the Inazuma AQ's, but that goes without saying).

But, just before they do wake up, here comes a little (presumably Celestia-sent) POS known as the Imposter, who worms their way into the temple where the Creator lies, steals their garbs and replaces them with normal, less divine attire before sending their body far away apparently never to be seen again and lying on that resting spot acting as the Creator on the verge of waking up. And since no one knows what really happened, it looks like the promised day has come without issues, and the Imposter is welcomed by nearly all back to a throne that never actually belonged to them. As for the actual Creator... they're in good hands, because Teyvat would never mistake another for the All-Parent that breathed life into it and acts to protect their body hidden amidst nature in whatever region they landed in (your choice) until they really do wake up.

And when our in-game body does wake up, our real-life consciousness is transferred into it and overwrites our old, godly memories with our normal ones. Since I can't stand isekais that require us dying an early death IRL (like, at all, actually), we're either magically transported to Teyvat the old-fashioned magic way, or part of our consciousness goes into our in-universe body and leaves our physical forms in reality alone, thereby creating two versions of us going around two separate worlds. For better wording, that is, but that's the gist of it. Either way, we're the real deal Creator, but one without our old memories (apart from short visions we get of our old divine life that come up every now and again) as far as everyone else in Teyvat is concerned. They're not totally wrong, anyway. I was thinking this could be justified to everyone by our "past self" saying pre-slumber that they will reawaken without the knowledge of this world (aka, the Genshin one), but it will still very much be them/us.

By the way, when we stumble into the main town or city of whatever region we wound up in, the locals don't just immediately attack us for looking like the Imposter. While sometimes, I do enjoy kicking back and enjoying pure angst, I otherwise found that aspect of Villain/Imposter!SAGAU to be, comment dit-on... absurd, especially with nobody in Mondstadt (outside of that one nun not buying it and simply scolding him) giving two honks about Venti despite him looking like (being) Barbatos, and nobody in Liyue even noticing the resemblance between Zhongli and Rex Lapis/Morax. And given how much those nations revere their god, the argument of us being a higher deity cannot be made. So, instead, at absolute worst, people are just really unnerved by the uncanny resemblance we have to the Creator, but otherwise don't get alarmed... until the Imposter catches wind of us and changes that. The reason people start attacking us at all is because the Imposter weaves a forewarning of the Creator's antithesis equal to them in power known as the "Destroyer" will descend on Teyvat, attempt to steal the throne using the Creator's face, and do worse to the world than the Abyss Order ever could try to if not stopped. And, this may sound like something they just made up to get us killed, but in a way... it's true, only issue is that the acolytes + citizens have the wrong idea of who's who, of course. Plus, the actual, all-powerful Creator, if pushed too far by say... an incredibly lengthy and traumatic manhunt after being mistaken for the Destroyer, is capable of tearing the world limb from limb, because those who create can as easily destroy, but those who destroy can never create.

Speaking of "all-powerful"... why are we always completely powerless in these SAGAU works apart from crying and/or getting really angry (which ARE realistic and valid reactions to the shit we're going through, but it's not mutually exclusive to getting cool abilities)? Because we're not actually from Teyvat? Even Aether and Lumine have the power to wield the elements despite coming from somewhere else, and for us to not get that same honor is frankly dull as dishwater. That's a lot of missed potential to dip into the fantasy aspect of a fantasy game like Genshin Impact. It's here I'd like to take some inspiration from a show I've enjoyed for years known as none other than "Avatar: The Last Airbender". Not to mention, the term "avatar" generally refers to a "divine incarnation in human form", hello??? Ahem! In other words, instead of being completely incapable of defending ourselves, we-- being the almighty Creator-- are able to wield all seven elements at once, but we have to gradually learn how to effectively use and master them. We do start with one element (any of your choice), then work our way up in order of the loading screen. IE: say your element is Cryo, you'd have to go Geo -> Pyro -> Hydro -> Anemo -> Electro -> Dendro. Such was the same in our past life, but we had the Archons to teach us and help us master those abilities through time.

Which means now, we need other people to help us do it again in our new "incarnation", and that's in the form of 5-star Vision holders since they fit the bill of "master" a bit better, being the rarer, stronger characters and junk. Of course, this is likely with discretion, because some might not be wise to learn from (such as Klee, funny as that'd be). I'm also discounting learning from the Archons because not only has our time with them from the previous life passed, but I don't find it fair to learn from a powerful god of that element, even if we're a god ourselves. It's more balanced learning from someone beneath that level (so, yes, an adeptus would still qualify). Also, important note here: not every single playable character is going to try and kill us for the Creator-Destroyer thing. NPCs are one thing because, let's be real, they're sheep, but it isn't realistic or in-character for everybody playable to want us dead. While a fair chunk would probably be on board for the sake of not letting the world blow to smithereens (and not because, you know, Same Face Syndrome, because that's completely insane), some might not outright believe the alleged prophecy for one reason or another, such as not being fond/trusting enough of the apparent "Creator" to just listen to them right off the bat, or getting to already find out who the real Creator is and knowing we're not the enemy. Whatever the reason is, we're going to have allies, including ones that join us in our quest to defeat the Imposter and take back the throne to restore balance to Teyvat. This can also include those who initially sided with the Imposter, but for one reason or another such as seeing our gold blood, they have a change of heart and tag along for the ride. For us to just go about Teyvat on the lam with nobody having our back is just... depressing, and not even in the fun way, either. I understand this faction of SAGAU tends to be purely angst-based, but come on, it doesn't have to all be a total bummer all the time. There's no rule that says we can't go through the angsty, heartwrenching stuff with traveling companions to call our own there for us through it all.

Now, of course, whoever those traveling companions are is really up to you because not all of us are gonna wanna tag up with and learn from the same bitches as the next guy. So, it's anybody's game with anybody's reasoning and circumstances (such as which region we wake up in, who our first companion(s) would be there, then which region we move onto, and even what element we have to learn next). Also, fitting the max. number of characters you can have on one team, it'd just be four actively traveling alongside us through Teyvat with other allies remaining where they are, whether they helped us master an element or not. But, no matter anybody's personal tastes and choices, I really wish there was more of a thrilling "fantastical group adventure" kind of element to this genre of SAGAU, because the potential is there, just-- seldom reached, from what I've seen, personally. I'd be more than happy adding onto this with anything I might have missed, but that's basically the gist of my view of this AU.

[soapyghostie]

I have a request that is sorta specific and I hope that's okay! As someone who is heavily from Michigan decent and somewhat gained the "accent" I would like to request maybe the ways Ash and the reader say things? And them gently teasing eachother for it? I know it's really specific so if you can't I understand!

Funny thing is that I had to look up everything that I wrote. I’m from the south and have no experience with Midwestern accents. 😂 I say a lot of ‘y’all’ and ‘ain’t’ which I’ve found is very different from Midwestern accents, obviously. 😂 This was fun and I hope I did it the way you wanted it. Hope you enjoy!

Ash Williams

Let’s just say you are not from the Midwest and you’ve never been there in your whole life so you have no experience with the midwestern accent. When you meet Ash for the first time, you think his accent is kinda funky and he thinks the same about your accent as well. Even before you guys started dating, Ash still made fun of you for how you spoke, however, you gave him the same treatment back. I guess this relationship isn’t one way with the teasing, but that’s one of the reasons he started dating you. Consider yourself lucky.

The Mitten: Michiganders refer to the state of Michigan as The Mitten because, on a map, Michigan is shaped as a mitten. I would think, since he is a local of Michigan, that Ash would refer to the state as The Mitten as well. Obviously, you aren’t from the area so you might think that’s silly. You’ll correct him every time he calls Michigan ‘The Mitten,’ saying that Michigan is just Michigan and that he’s a dingus. However, knowing Ash, he always has a comeback of some sorts or a joke, making fun of you and where you’re from. 

One thing you will always hear Ash say a lot is “I’m going to tuh party store.” I don’t think you’ll be surprised if I told you that the party store is where you buy alcohol. As you know, Ash loves himself a beer. You are always teasing him about how he should just say that he is going to the store to buy beer like every normal human-being would say. Well, up in Michigan they say it differently miss ma’am so deal with it. 

Ash calls you outsider a lot because, you know, you’re not from anywhere in the Midwest. He never uses your name to address you: you always hear him say outsider as a replacement. It’s all fun in games, don’t worry. Well, at least you know when he’s addressing you. 

It’s pop, not soda. ‘Nuff said. If you say soda, you are in for a real teasing. You just don’t say soda in Michigan, you just don’t. Well, everyone definitely knows you're not from the Midwest and you have Ash over here howling, giggling, and joking like a little kid because you called the fizzy, sugary drink soda. 

Now for Ash’s actual accent. The letter ‘A’. When Ash says any word that has an ‘A’ in it, it sounds like a kind of light ‘ee-yeah’ sound. For example, crayons, if ever said it, would sound more like crans. 

Then there is the long ‘e’ sound that, like ‘I’ in the word mirror, is a bit longer and nasally. Also, Ash doesn’t waste time with the ‘or’ in ‘mirror,’ so it’s just ‘meer’ 

Also, leave it to Ash to also screw up the pronunciation of a consonant. For instance, if there is the letter ‘t’ in the middle of a word, it has a ‘d’ sound. It’s so embedded in his speech that he can’t say a word like ‘city’ without sounding like he’s trying hard for that ‘t’ sound. 

Ash draws out ‘ah’ in his words a lot. In Michigan, you don’t have a mom. You have a ‘maahm.’ After school, you go to ‘haahcky’ practice. Chicago isn’t ‘Chi-caw-go,’ it’s ‘Chic-aah-go.’ Yeah… it’s definitely different… not gonna lie about that.

You can only hear Ash’s accent with certain words. He’ll be talking and mid sentence one of the words is said with a strange accent. You just burst out laughing for some reason because I guess you think it’s funny. Ash sees you think it’s funny so he’ll purposely start talking in a midwestern accent to make you laugh even more. Just to play along, he’ll say “Well, how else am I supposed to say it?” Well, since he is doing the accent on purpose, it comes out as “Well, how my spose’ta’ sayit’?”

[autumnbrambleagain]

Hi, first time reader, first time caller. I ended up reading proselytize in between my various beginner runs in qud to keep me motivated. It's really good! You're a very talented writer with a great sense of pacing, character and style! I was just wondering though, do you have default builds for all the daughters of nafpor, or are they more like archetypes?

oh gosh thank you! i am always stunned at how well received proselytize has been, i'm glad people are enjoying it so much

i experiment a lot with them when i play them, so i have a lot saved, although TBH a lot of them are older characters from over a year ago

here's suir softbeast's canonical build, although this is just like. her base, larval form without any of her chimera stuff. there's a mod that lets you pick what your chimeric limbs are when evolving so you can have the exact same suir softbeast experience, the randomization of it means any future suir i play without that mod is going to be a radically different suir

you'll notice her intelligence is like, pretty high! it's said in the game she ends up being one of the best tinkers in qud and just convinces herself she's only good for being a blodshedding hedonist. my suir build strats were pick every physical mutation i could get, get extra limbs, the usual chimera stuff. i used swords as my main for the DV bonus and lunge action economy stacking, and axes in all the other offhands for dismemberment procs

it uses the marshtaur sprite, although i'd wish in a tattoo gun and recolor her in all white and gray. if i ever played her again i'd probably modify the sprite to make her look more like herself

here's tiyu-yutep's last build. psychometry isn't actually Very Worthwhile, but it was thematic and i'm the kind of idiot that will make a build for theme rather than efficiency. this is, in fact, a pretty BAD build, which I think is on its own level thematically important. the daughters of nafpor aren't all supertwinked hyperspecced characters, some of them just Played Good

normally i'd replace her sprite with a cat cherub sprite, but at this point next time i ever end up playing her i'd just make my own sprite for her

in actual gameplay i'd use precog and nectar to reroll mutations so i have a bespoke list of mental mutations stacked up as high as i can, and complement them with a ton of tinkered nonsense. tiyu-yutep's build is about maximizing options in every situation. something bad is happening? that's fine, i have 12 kinds of grenade, 10 mental mutations, and eight guns to solve it.

that's one of my igwashim builds, unlike tiyu and suir being kinda jack-of-all-trades (my preferred style ngl) ig is very much a "scry, teleport in, blast everything to sleep, axe axe axe axe axe axe axe" build

mutation points aren't spent on new mutations at all, and exist just to fill out the efficiency of her existing mutations. i use a mod to make teleport more accurate at very high levels, because teleportation is my nonsexual fetish and i crave being able to pinpoint teleport after i hit level 10

still she isn't just a bump-attack character. maximize information gathering and ambush tactics, never play fair. appearance change wish to turn her tile into a crypt ferret's, naturally, although now that i've started fumping about with modding, i'd just like. actually make a clade so instead of it saying "Mutated Human" it'd say "Mutated Ferret" or something. make it so dromads don't call me human they call me "ferret" or something

her having Socially Repugnant would be appropriate narratively but i never bothered with it since she didn't need it, 10 ego is enough to represent her being a talking animal

i don't have any specific build saved for Savithvyr, she was one of my first Qud characters and was just a Fuming God-Child specced around agility, willpower, and intelligence, mostly using gas grenades of various kinds alongside the billowing conch. also not an optimal build! but it was fun. flood the zone with gas and just sorta stand back and pick at the survivors with a gun or stab them with triple-element gaslight kris

there's a mod that lets you play goatfolk which i used for naara, but in version updates i don't have it installed right now and i'll be honest i don't remember what i did with her much other than mental mutations

ooo-ho-OOO-EEE-ah and Buwofu-gawufoo were actually companions that Savithvyr and Suir picked up in-game, they were never characters i played directly but as companions they lasted so long they felt like they were part of those characters' identities and so they had to make the transition into the game proper.

the brambled fae's original build is NO LONGER POSSIBLE because they increased the cost of horns, which i think is HILARIOUS because why shouldn't it be an actual illegal build?

not that it hasn't had a dozen different builds ANYway. it's my go-to most-used build and based off of one of my fursonas at its core, so it's the culmination of my bullshit jack-of-all-trades obsession.

MILD SPOILERS but ive posted it before on this blog anyway, it DOES have its own sprite since i still play variations on it regularly enough i made a sprite for it

although that doesn't really represent what it looks like in the story

that's getting a BIT closer to what it looks like when we finally get to the brambled pass

[kabybaali]

For Wen Ning's birthday event day 2, I made a Collab with my sweet friend uwu

Art made by me

Story made by @vahntares 💖

Wen Ning couldn't help but push the tray with the steaming red bean cakes away from the prying hands trying to steal them.

"Āiyā! I never imagined you could be so cold-hearted! You hide under those kind eyes and that beautiful smile!"

His cheeks tinged slightly, as he had never been accused of such things before, yet his hands remained firm and steady.

"The-they’re not ready y-y-yet!"

"Are you going to keep them away from me? I've never been able to taste one of these! A-Ning, please have mercy on this tormented soul, you're denying water to a man who spent years in the desert!"

More nonsense. Wen Ning could only hope that the heat in the kitchen was enough to explain the blushing heat on his face.

He stood his ground, as he had promised himself to give his best to the beaming young man in front of him, even if it cost him some teasing. Especially since, as he said, he had never tasted a red bean cake before and the experience had to be perfect. The young man pouted, yet Wen Ning already knew every single one of his false expressions inside out. So many months together were not in vain.

They met each other at a private event. Wen Ning's desserts were highly sought after and both his teachers and peers felt envy and admiration for his quick rise to fame. And that young man had been so fascinated by what he was eating that without a second thought he decided to spend the rest of the evening in the kitchen next to him.

After that it was hard to shake him off, although he never really tried. Something about his smile made it hard to refuse his company, not to say that all his remarks at the meal were very sharp and precise.

And all the requests he had were always gladly fulfilled once the cafeteria was closed.

It was a shared little space the two of them had build.

Wen Ning saw the red bean cakes and let out a big sigh.

"Fifteen minutes!"

Wei Ying shook his legs as he became increasingly impatient

"A-Ning! Don't you feel bad making me wait for SO long? Is this your customer service?"

Wen Ning thought it would be better not to answer. If Wei Ying ate the cakes at that moment he would most likely burn his tongue and all his effort would be thrown away.

''Good things come to those who wait'', he said to himself"

As if reading his mind, Wei Ying looked at him with such a plea in his eyes that it made Wen Ning's heart skip a beat.

"How about a milkshake!?"

Wen Ning yielded with a gentle smile.

Perhaps they both knew that if Wei Ying insisted again Wen Ning would eventually give in, but this was the game between them.

Request, bake or prepare, taste and please.

As long as Wei Ying had something in his mouth to taste he would be happy and as long as he was happy Wen Ning would be pleased as well.

Wen Ning began to take the ingredients out of the fridge. There was no use in asking about the flavor. Just as he knew all of his tricks, he also knew all the things he liked.

He looked up just long enough to make sure that Wei Ying's stubborn hands were away from the tray with the cakes.

And then he noticed something

Wei Ying looked different from the first time they met.

Wen Ning's hands began to mix the milk with the fresh fruits as his eyes continued to trail over him.

Wei Ying's face was not so sharply defined anymore, and the sharp lines had been replaced by something softer. His beauty was something that would hardly be overshadowed by the small cute rolls in his stomach as he sat up, perhaps that was why Wen Ning hadn't noticed it before.

When they first met, Wei Ying wasn't very aware of himself and in a certain light his skin would seem light, pressing against his bones. A very normal appearance by modern standards, standards Wen Ning did not approve of.

He added creamy vanilla ice cream and a dash of cinnamon to the milkshake.

Wei Ying, being totally honest, had more color in his cheeks and more energy in his movements. No one could blame Wen Ning if he refused to stop spoiling him with desserts.

Without being able to prevent it, his eyes met with the young man's. How long had Wei Ying been looking at him? Embarrassed, Wen Ning immediately lowered his head and continued to prepare the thick milkshake. He prayed that it hadn't been too obvious.

It was sheer agony to walk out of the kitchen and towards the table. His movements were stiff thanks to the embarrassment that kept flowing through his joints.

He held out the glass cup and a plate with some red bean cakes. He forced himself to act normal.

"H-here you go."

"But... You said it would take 15 minutes for the cakes to cool down..."

Obviously, if Wei Ying was told that the cakes would be ready in 15 minutes, he would wait 10 minutes at most. Wen Ning omitted this information and shyly shrugged his shoulders.

It was better to pretend that he made a mistake. 

Wei Ying didn't inquire further, he just let out one of his thunderous laughs and received everything.

Although there were neither customers nor critics, those kinds of moments were the ones that made Wen Ning really want to break out in a cold sweat. 

He had learned to take criticism and opinions about his work, but at the end of the day the only opinion that would matter to him would come from this outrageous young man.

He brought a cup of coffee with him to keep him company as he tasted the cakes.

When he reached the table, Wei Ying was already sipping the milkshake. Both of their hands tensed.

"Oh... damn... I blew it..."

The red bean cakes were supposed to be the main dish and Wei Ying had already sweetened his mouth with the milkshake. How could he properly savor one taste when his senses were coated with another, stronger one?

In a slightly desperate move, Wen Ning extended his cup of coffee that didn't yet have any sugar in it. Wei Ying joyfully accepted and took a good sip.

After that everything flowed as it was supposed to.

"They're not lying when they say the taste is addictive! So smooth! They're delicious! I'm so lucky to have A-Ning cook for me!"

Wei Ying kept heaping praise. It was a good thing, as a baker he was very confident in his taste and sincerity.

Wen Ning took a coffee sip.

His tongue grew warm, then his cheeks, and finally his heart.

"¡ !"

He began to cough uncontrollably.

"A-Ning!" 

Wen Ning waved as he tried to calm himself.

The rim of his coffee cup tasted like vanilla.

"I-I.. The coffee made me ch-ch-choke!"

"Your face is so red!"

Wen Ning squeezed his eyes tightly shut as if that could keep him from losing his mind.

He could barely endure mild feelings and this thing he was experiencing was taking his breath away.

He summoned up his courage and saw Wei Ying's worried eyes looking at him. There he was, plumper cheeks, lips with little crumbs.

His heart seemed to beat faster. Yes, Wei Ying had definitely gained some weight. It was a lovely sight, seeing spring blooming on his body.

Unable to control the train of thoughts, Wen Ning wondered where else the extra weight had gone.

He remembered when Wei Ying entered the cafeteria. His hips and waist now had a more inviting curve, enticing him to sink his fingers into the flesh and knead it.

And the backside... It already drew his attention before but now, and despite having such an innocent mind, it was hard not to want to look at it again.

The cough came back.

''Shouldn't be thinking about this!'' Wen Ning thought to himself.

"A-Ning..."

Wen Ning felt pats on his back.

It took him a few minutes to recover

"Āiyā..." Wei Ying saw the plate in front of him "they were so delicious that there's only one left."

Wen Ning had a placid smile "I made them for you."

It could be his imagination, but an adorable blush appeared on Wei Ying's face.

"At least eat this one, say ahhhh."

Ready to refuse, Wen Ning opened his mouth, but of course, instead of words coming out, a soft cake made its way in. He bit into a small piece and the dough fell apart like silk.

Wei Ying pushed the cake back in.

It was clear he wasn't going to give up so Wen Ning decided to finish it before his mind went off again. The last bite was bigger, and he miscalculated.

Wei Ying's fingers were trapped between his lips.

Wen Ning felt like he might die of embarrassment, but he couldn't cough again because Wei Ying's fingers dragged out slowly and carefully, forced to travel a twisting path to his chin.

Wei Ying's gaze seemed a little agitated, a little lost... a little hungry.

Even if the desserts, sweets and pastries whetted the appetite, a bigger craving was rising between the two of them. Something even sweeter and warmer.

Wen Ning doesn't quite remember who made the first move. Was it Wei Ying who sat on his lap or was it him who lured him in?

Who made the final step to close the distance?

The taste of red beans, vanilla and coffee blended into one. Wen Ning thought that combination was better than anything else that he had ever put in his mouth. Ever.

Their lips melted against each other, wanting to be tasted in full. Slowly he let himself go, guided by Wei Ying's playful nature, kissing in an ever-changing pace, sometimes long and soft, sometimes faster and full of hunger. Wei Ying couldn't make up his mind on how he wanted to keep going and Wen Ning wasn't going to stop him finding new ways to do it.

They ended up completely out of breath and put their foreheads together to give each other a break.

Unknown to them, they had both been watching each other silently, waiting to decipher what it was that was keeping them uneasy.

Wei Ying let out a light, hearty laugh.

"A-Ning" he said as he playfully kissed Wen Ning's cheek

"That was delicious."

[ghawst37]

the way i see it, Camu and Roland are both Plural (Roland speaking to what he considers his "past selves", Kamui being some sort of alter), so they both kind of understand eachother on that level too. Like, 'oh, you've also got people in your head, alright i get you'. It's important that Camu cannot live outside of Kamui's frame/brain for particularly long - probably because on some level they're the same person and whatever mechanism lets them physically split their M.I.N.D isn't perfect. and also that they're little balls of spite that slowly soften yes :)

Yes! You get me 0)-( Although lore-wise, we never get a hint as to why and how Roland knew about Camu's story anyway, that's why I just had the random thought of "woa the virus in Kamui manifest the shape of Camu, that's how he knew" which is such a delusion lmaoo Someone on twitter have discussed about Camu and Kamui's arc specifically and how PGR's CBT with the start of Camu/Kamui arc compare to the changes we then get in the debut of the game resulting to the lack of context we got.

And due to my weak understand of the way of the constructs, some of the details confuses me. Basically, they concluded that Camu and Kamui makes no sense, in theory they are supposed to be two seperate people (I can only assume that kuro intended Camu and Kamui to be something like a stereotypical evil twin trope, but instead turned into a dark alter persona.) Even if that's the case, how does Roland knew about Camu? Unless he knew Camu personally, which has never happened (correct me if I'm wrong, the first few chapters are not pleasant to dissect.)

All my ramble aside, I do think that if Roland does understand Camu to a certain level, he would very much understand as to why they wanted to live as a "different person." The peole around them fabricating their views and livelihood with lies, keep them both like animals in a cage (both symbolically and literally) and torment them physically and mentally for very selfish reasons. People often make fun of how Camu loves food, but is that like one of the very basic human requirement? To want to eat? And when your fed specific things as some sort of experiment project, of course you would be curious what safe and delicious food is like. Roland just straight up has an eating disorder. And by the time they are very close to meet with freedom, death was knocking at their doors, at that current state they're very passive to fate and had no choice but to accept their own end. They are both very much victims here, and discardable ones (literally the squad in Camu's interludes are just one of many, if they die Kurono wouldn't mind replacing with a new squad. Roland's first few accessable secret just straight up tells you that he's just a normal civilians, a straight up nobody; like any creature being put in a circus show could become a star, doesn't matter which one.) They both wanted to leave and live a peaceful happy life, to be freed, but they are both too far gone. They both wanted to escape their current states but will never be able to, so they adopted personas as their way of "moving on" as they continue to exist and just so they can keep existing is pretty tragic, because they both never had true freedom. Someone will probably tell me such as "they are not the only characters in PGR with this kind of backstory" to which I agree, but that's besides the point. The point is that the similarity in the context behind their true characters. It's a lot deeper, from what I think, it's a "I get where you come from, it's very personal but I know what that felt like." (And then kuro fumbled with the writing, ruining their possible compatibilities forever, missing the biggest opportunity to make them allies, they don't have to agree to each other on most things but I do think they have a chance. And I'm glad that others can see it too :) thank you for this ask)

Delulu-wise however, they're very soft characters with stiff exteriors, really made them wonder how easy it is for them to turn soft towards each other if given the chance (*≧艸≦)

[cgogs]

So what are the coparent eras? For posterity 🤔

Long post and extreme oversimplification but here is a tldr of every era 💯

Briar age 0-8 : same as the briar au , dream raises his son in secrecy. The timeline diverges at age 8 when sam catches up to dream after searching endlessly for nearly 8 years. he was a pariah in the server basically due to his many failures and he just didnt know what to do with himself other than rectify his mistake. plus, yk, dream is a danger to society and its his purpose to keep people safe from him. Thus, almost 8 years of total isolation and endless searching. He finds them on a normal sunny day while briar and dream do laundry and weed the garden. sam stakes out the house for a few days, maybe a week, before following briar to the creek he plays in and kidnapping him. He pins his green cloak to a tree and waits for dream to take the bait. and he does

Briar ages 8-14 : Basement era. Sam and Dream fall back into their routines in a new place while Briar is left to try and cope with his surroundings. He is the only reason Dream is let out of the basement at all and tries to help him every way he can. He gets close to sam and sam is effectively his father, and briar grows attached to him as such despite everything. When briar is 14 he kills sam and dream helps him run away from home, sincerely thinking he would never see his son again. Briar goes back home, their original home, and tries to think of a plan. Dream experiences the worst months of his entire life while briar gears up to come back. When he does, they manage to escape together with Dream killing Sam with a shard of ceramic from a broken dinner plate after he knocks his son into a rock by accident. After a night to think about it, dream revives him the next morning at the crack of dawn and tells him to fuck off. (He is also wordlessly telling him: come find me)

Briar ages 15-16 : contract era. One year after sam is revived, he goes back to dreams house. Dream and Briar went back to their original home, so its not like it was hard. Sam is completely unmoored and doesn't know what to do with himself. Its the middle of winter and one week before briars 16th birthday. A bunch of complicated shit happens. Dream is inable to make him go away, they have a couple heart-to-hearts and try to meet in the middle of what they both want. Dream has been a wreck without the structure sam btought to his life and sam has been a wreck without him. So... they date. Well they dont call it dating (Dream: Sam is my... my.) but sam moves in and briar moves OUTTT. dream and sam write a contract clearly outlining what the rules of their relationship are. I.E. a three strike system that once all 3 are gone, sam can start taking food away or other punishments. This is when the fiasco with briar and Q happens. After briar comes back, dream pays for an apartment in town for briar to stay in. Dream tells Sam something game changing: I want to be normal.

Briar 16-17 : married era : sam is reeling under the realization that dream WANTS to be normal. They live normally. Dream gets a job, friends, all under close watch, but still. The tldr is, sam thinks about marrying him. A lot. A ton. With dream wanting to be normal comes absolution: dream is better, actively trying to be better, which means sam doesn't have to feel bad about loving him, and with punishments mostly a thing of the past, he doesnt have to feel bad about hurting who he loves. Eventually, he pops the question. Dream is terrified. He tells him he'll think about it, this is all so sudden, etc. He talks to briar about it and confides in him that hes... scared, of what that means. Their wedding vows would replace the contract , it would be something entirely different from everything hes known. Briar obviously tells him to say no, and he almost does! But... well. Sam tells him he's been too hard on him, in the past. And that he shouldn't have been. And well, this coupled with the apology for the torture, dream figures ... they really could be happy, if dream would just let himself. So he says yes. Briar is mad as hell and basically becomes a highwayman to cope with the anger. He might as well get paid for it. A lot of other stuff happens, mainly briar going to prison and his parents busting him out, but the result of a heart to heart between sam and briar is that sam... regrets. Hes sorry. He truly is. This conversation becomes the crack in his worldview that makes him lean fully into loving dream. Its really hard to explain, i might transcript this conversation.

This is when the endings come in. Ocean escape, where dream leaves for good. Awesamdad, where they have nettle. And other neutral endings me and kat have yet to talk about ^_^

[bluebudgie]

On locking dailies to level 80s - I think it's a direction they've been going honestly, as since they added the Adventure Guide achievements those show in the UI for a character below level 80 instead of dailies. It's probably a bit more accessible for new people? Since they're based on the level of the maps not the region, and wouldn't require hopping around Tyria so much. I used to do dailies with a below-80 if I had one I was leveling, but it was always chance on how many they'd be able to do... and for everyone else, writs of experience just get deleted. It'll be interesting to see if it changes a dynamic for <80s to not be able to do it but I do think the Adventure Guide is the alternative.

Interesting! I haven't had a non-80 character in a long time so I wasn't actively aware the adventure guide "replaced" (at least as default UI choice) the normal dailies until a friend mentioned it a while ago.

Not personally a fan tbh since I actually liked doing the dailies when first starting out with the game Back In The Days because they kinda passively get you to explore the maps searching for ressources or vistas.

The adventure guide is a bit of a silly feature imo but that's also from a longtime player's perspective and not from someone starting out fresh. But somehow I feel like "revive an npc" "swap weapons x times" and "deposit something in the bank" aren't particularly great replacements for a daily rotation of different "scout the region for harvestables" or "discover this jumping puzzle in a hidden area you've never heard of" choices. But that comes down to preference ultimately, I guess.*

In the end I'm not the affected party anyway and new players who just start out wouldn't know the old system so they can't miss what they never had. But to me, a creature of habit, it's a strange direction to take. I'm not the gamedev here, so surely it's a decision that had enough thought put into it.

*i know higher tiers of the adventure guide have a 'search ressources' and 'discover vistas' thing too but the feeling of 'harvest 60 things in this area' is still very different from a bite-sized daily 'get 4 plants in this area today'

Edit: Oh and an afterthought I just had, I wonder if this would encourage level 80-boosting to get access to the vault system, similar to how the raptor mount used to encourage boosting into PoF.

[joshnekuu]

Neku is happy to be back. There’s no uncertainty in that happiness- being back in the Realground, being Home, that’s all he’s wanted for the last three years. Now that he’s gotten it though, he’s not always sure what to do.

Things are different than he remembers them. That should go without saying, it has been three years after all. The shops he’d become so familiar with have mostly been replaced, new brands he doesn’t recognize, some names familiar but just different enough that it’s almost uncanny.

He has his friends though. Even if things aren’t quite the same as they were three years ago, Shiki is still Shiki, Rhyme and Beat are still Rhyme and Beat. And he has Rindo, Fret, Shoka, and Nagi now as well- more people who understand what he’s been through.

(he doesn’t need to talk to Him.)

None of them quite understand though. Not in the way that he sometimes wishes they would. The way he immediately feels guilty for thinking about, for wishing that kind of solitude and sorrow on them in any form. He’s glad they weren’t in Shinjuku with him, he’s glad they didn’t have to experience that.

But he doesn’t know how to talk about it with them. He can’t stand the guilt in Beat’s eyes when he mentions it. The subtle agony in Shiki’s gaze if he brings it up. They both say they’re fine talking about it of course, that he’s always free to lean on them, to share his feelings with them. They want to be there for him, to support him- and he wants to let them. He does. It just feels wrong to make them shoulder that burden.

Shiki and Beat don’t really talk like they used to, Neku has realized. Thinking back, he isn’t actually sure how much they ever talked back when he was still around. They were friends, but did they ever really have anything in common besides the Game? Did any of them have anything in common besides that…?

(they did. He was the one Neku related to the most. but he’s not ready to talk to Him.)

No. He won’t think like that. The Game might be the thread that connects them all, but their friendship is a choice, one they’ve all made; a commitment they choose to treasure and maintain.

Right?

It feels weird, seeing them as adults. They’re all still kids, really, but technically they’re grown up now. Shiki is running a business. Beat dropped out of school. He won’t say it, but Neku knows it was because he was looking for him- because he was too depressed to go about life as normal when Neku was missing, when he’d watched him get shot and disappear before his very eyes.

Neku can’t help but wish that Beat weren’t quite so loyal. He wishes he hadn’t spent the last three years of his life searching for someone he couldn’t hope to find. He doesn’t want to say that it was a waste, but he can’t help feeling it. Beat deserved better than to agonize over him all this time.

He’s glad that Shiki was able to move on somewhat. To get her life together and follow her dreams with Eri. He knows she never gave up on him, she never would- it’s who she is, and why he loves her. But her job keeps her busy, and as much as she tries to make time for him, he feels guilty keeping her. She and Eri are doing what they always wanted, and he doesn’t want to get in the way of that in any form.

(he knows how it feels to have an anchor, something tethering you to the past. he doesn’t want to be that for her. for any of them.)

He can’t talk to Rindo. Or maybe it’s more like he won’t. Because Rindo is free now, he’s safe- Neku will make sure of it, he won’t let the UG sink it’s claws into him again and drag him back like it did him. But Rindo is young, and he looks at him with eyes full of faith, like he’s some sort of hero. Neku won’t make him shoulder his trauma, won’t force him to commiserate his time in the Game for his own comfort.

The same goes for Fret, Shoka, Nagi. If they come to him to talk, of course he’ll be willing- be a good mentor, be a good friend, whatever they need him to be, whatever he didn’t have coming out of the Game. But he won’t start a conversation about the UG. He won’t make them relive those experiences.

(there’s only one person he doesn’t feel guilty talking to. only one person he feels deserves to see his anger, to bear the burden of his grief.)

(he isn’t ready to talk to Him, because he’s not ready to accept what it means that he Wants to.)

(he knows that He’s watching, always from a distance He thinks Neku won’t notice, but never quite far enough away. maybe it’s on purpose. that seems like something He would do.)

(or maybe Neku’s just thinking too much about everything.)

[julie-loves-cake]

I’ve already made a draft on how I would remake Garten Of BanBan, but it was poorly written so I’m trying again.

First off, we’re gonna look at this game’s setting: the so-called kindergarten this entire thing takes place in. Ripping the bandage off now: this isn’t a kindergarten. This shouldn’t be considered a kindergarten, it’s a backrooms level in disguise. Oddly enough, I think the large space could work if it was a completely separate area.

In this remake, instead of a “kindergarten”, Garten Of BanBan takes place in a theme park. Not a lot of horror games really take place in an area as large as theme parks, and quite frankly I like the concept of them so much. The large spaces and areas could be parts of character themed areas, like Sheriff Toadster’s being more like a cross between Wild West and a swamp, because he’s a sheriff, or Stinger Flynn’s being themed after the sea. There would also be a more solid reason to why our kid disappeared: kids usually get lost or left behind in big spaces, and so we’re looking for them after hours.

Gameplay wise, I’m removing the drone an replacing it with two different game modes: parent and security guard. The parent would be the normal mode, having only a flashlight and other things they can collect to help them on the way, while the security guard would be the hard mode, having to deal with the monsters more frequently. You also get a key ring to open staff only doors.

Now, the mascots. Since it’s possible we’re getting even more mascots in chapter 4, let’s keep the mural gang (and Opila Bird’s family) from chapter 3. Why am I not cutting most of them? Well, I’m taking slight inspiration from Disneyland since they have a fuckton of mascots as well. Each mascot has their own sector themed after them and their personalities, or even overlapping with each other if they have the same “theme”. Captain Fiddles and Stinger Flynn would have the same water theme and would be in-universe “enemies” because in my mind Captain Fiddles is a pirate (let’s not get into historical discussions here) and it fits.

The reason they’re attacking you varies once you choose a mode/character. As the security guard, they’re lashing out at you because you were part of the experiments and will actively go out of their way to harm you or make your journey harder. As the parent, they’re venting out their frustrations about being used as entertainment, but they can be swayed to your side if you play along with their games. Most of them won’t even attack you unless provoked (Stinger Flynn never attacks you in-game so he’s just a chill dude).

Puzzle-wise, they’re less time consuming and actually have small hints to help you. Granted some of these puzzles are games and were meant to be played by children, but I digress. They’re also less RNG like chapter 3’s super secret Jumbo Josh lounge.

That’s all the ideas I have for now, but I feel like the game at this point just needs a heavy and healthy rewrite.

[i-love-an-alcoholic]

Story of M: How things went to hell, Part 2

CONTENT WARNING: Drug addiction

Antabus was a miracle drug for me in many ways, but it has one major flaw: it only prevents alcohol use. I had conditioned myself to the general feeling of being on something, be it alcohol, weed or other substances and my brain was not ready to give up that. While I had succesfully given up alcohol, I quickly replaced it with excessive weed smoking. After about six months I stopped taking Antabus and began drinking again, although not as much as before.

Remember the troubled guy I was in a "relationship" with? From now on I'll refer to him as Shitty Boyfriend. Our relationship was transactional: I gave him money (he didn't work) and he gave me drugs. At some point I felt like I needed to help him gain some control of his chaotic life, so I gave him money for a psychiatrist. He saw one, and got a prescription for an anti-anxiety medicine (a benzodiazepine) which he quickly became addicted to. The meds did nothing to improve his life: he just took a pill to temporarily feel better about things so he didn't need to actually change anything, and whenever the effects wore off he'd pop another one. He gave pills to me whenever I asked and I would take them with or without alcohol (this is a dangerous combination, don't do it) and I regularly gave him more money so he could get his prescription renewed. Edit: I should add that he saw the doctor at a private practice and therefore had to pay out of pocket.

Our friend group at the time was very drug-seeking, so there were a lot of various substances to try. I tried everything except strong opioids (I'm scared of them). Every time I visited Shitty Boyfriend we would gather and spend an evening playing video games, board games and doing drugs. I'm not going to lie: I sometimes miss those times.

I still went to work every day like a normal person, but as soon as I got off and closed my apartment door behind me I'd pop some pills or blaze it. As I've said before, I justified this by the stressful nature of my job. Eventually the facade began cracking and I got in trouble at work for my erratic behaviour. A lot of things happened and as a result I was transferred to a different deparment, which turned out to be insular and toxic. I was already in a bad mental state, the working environment worsened things and I began using amphetamines to cope.

For the next few months I lost all my savings, so I began taking payday loans to pay for my addiction. I even lied to my parents to get money from them. My life revolved around speed: it was all I could think about. After nine months I weighed around 48kg (106lbs), my mental health and finances were in shambles and I was seriously considering IV use (never did though, thank deity). Then I woke up.

I clearly remember that day. I had gotten my pay on friday and after paying rent, utilities and some of the the payday loans I had about 100€ left until next payday. I gave the money to Shitty Boyfriend who was visiting, and he went to buy us drugs for the weekend. By sunday evening all of it was gone and Shitty Boyfriend had left. I was sitting in my kitchen with no money and no drugs. It was almost like an out of body experience: I suddenly saw myself from outside and realized what I was doing was wrong. My lifestyle was unsustainable. My behavior was unhinged and I had gotten in trouble at work again because of it. I basically had two choices: either to quit or to become a full-time drug addict. I would lose my job. I would lose everything that really mattered to me. I would lose my life.

On that day, at the age of 30, I quit drugs.