#and they shouldnt have access to it or any say in it. period.

[swagging-back-to]

i think this is a perfect example of why some random civilian whos president for 4ish years should not be the commander in chief and should NOT have any access to anything military--especially not the nuclear codes.

Joe Biden is sending Israel more weapons to kill Palestinians

[arlakos]

Why Time Travel in Miraculous is a huge mess.

There are a lot of things in this show that give me a headache. Plot Holes, Retcons, EVERYTHING involving the Sentimonster Adrien theory that is now apparently true. But nothing gets my blood boiling more than time travel in this show, especially in regards to Chat Blanc and Evolution.

Let me just start out by saying that I think time travel in this show should have never existed to begin with. Not only is the rabbit miraculous a poor excuse for a animal representing time (since alternate dimensions would be a more fitting power given that the miraculous is an Alice in Wonderland reference and the rabbit brings Alice to an alternate world in the story), but having the power to travel to time, while being logically possible, is also a gamebreaking power that leaves more questions than answers.

But the timetravel in Chat Blanc is sooooo bad on many levels. Even Timebreaker, which is a convoluted episode to begin with, at least creates the idea of a stable timeloop with how Alix becomes the rabbit heroine, so nothing that happens breaks any canon to begin with.

But lets take a look at Chat Blanc.

According to canon, Marinette delivers her to gift to Adrien as Ladybug, leading to Adrien learning Ladybug's identity and setting off the many events that lead to Chat Blanc, which also involves the destruction of Paris. This is implied to be the official outcome of Miraculous without any outside interference brought on by time travel.

HOWEVER, Bunnyx herself still somehow exists in the future despite said future not existing, and gets Ladybug to both defeat Chat Blanc and undo the events of the bad future.

Despite Bunnyx having to travel through time however, it is heavily implied that Bunnyx and the Marinette which had to fight Chat Blanc are still part of the same timeline, instead of Marinette and her world being an alternate timeline caused by Bunnyx's interference.

However, neither Bunnyx nor Chat Blanc can coincide with one another due to time rules. If Bunnyx exists, then that means Chat Blanc couldn't have happened as future Alix would have to obtain the rabbit miraculous to begin with. If Chat Blanc was meant to be the canonical outcome to Miraculous (before it was changed), then Bunnyx shouldn't have existed period, meaning the events of Timetagger shouldnt have happened either.

Essentially, its a giant paradox.

However, I think it also gets even worse in Evolution. Aside from the fact that Hawkmoth should have honestly had the heroes defeated dead to rights upon getting the rabbit miraculous, the amount of time travel needed to undo the situation in which Gabriel gets the rabbit miraculous is overtly complex and really just un-needed. It could have easily just been avoided by having Marinette keep the Rabbit Miraculous hidden in a different location to the miracle box, so that nobody could access it from her yoyo (which would be ENTIRELY POSSIBLE given that Marinette made the BATMAN LEVEL CONTINGENCY PLAN IN THE DESTRUCTION EPISODE, yet CAN'T PUT A PASSWORD ON HER YOYO)

With all this explained, I hope anyone who reads this will understand why Time Travel in Miraculous is a giant mess. Aside from time travel only being around due to being a novelty, its inclusion causes many messed in the episodes it appears in, while other episodes could have done well without it.

[crushedsweets]

Hello! I hope you are well!

Do you think it’s possible for you to go into Jeff and Nina’s relationship please? Like are they together or is like Jeff taking advantage of Nina liking him so much?

Sorry if you’ve already done this! I love your writing, you’re so talented 🕸️ x

its actually crazy to me that i havent actually written a thing about jeff and nina oh my god. thank you by the way you are so sweet. of course tw for manipulation, abuse, etc

OK BACKSTORY

nina is a year or two younger than jeff, and was only around 12-13 when she found out about jeffs murders and rampages. since she was like 7, she was always obsessed with horror movies, gore, eventually true crime and stuff . . just awful things that kids shouldnt have access to but thats what the internet does

she started behaving incredibly weird after her obsession with jeff began (though she was always odd). just really creepy true crime fan behavior in school, acted completely rebelious and eventually cut a shallow smile into her cheeks. her parents were livid and sent her to her to live with her grandparents in Mississippi.

eventually she realized jeffs brother moved to alabama, a state away. she was 18, at the lowest point in her life, and there was now speculation that jeff died after his most recent murder in the arkensaw household in tuscaloosa, alabama.

SO SHE MOVED. stole a ton of money and jewlery and stuff from her grandparents, barely managed to secure a dingy apartment in tuscaloosa, and she went On The Hunt.

she's constantly spamming fangirl rhetoric on creepy forums and catches jeffs eye. dunno exactly how, but he ends up meeting up with her, where he realizes she was just. perfect ? like, he found her annoying from the getgo and knew she was a weirdo, but he knew how easy she'd perfect to manipulate, how much shit he could get from her, and she immediately was like 'COME HOME WITH ME ILL MAKE U DINNER' . so he does. theyre about 19-20 here.

okACTUAL RELATIONSHIP

they never actually date in the traditional sense. neither of them asked the other out, jeff doesnt even touch her if he doesn't have to. he does not love her. but nina truly, fully, completely believes they're together. she swaps between calling him her boyfriend and fiance. she tells all her coworkers about how 'oh my boyfriend finally proposed! im engaged guys!' and 'ohh we're thinking about kids..!! he said he wants a girl:)' and all of that. which its all lies, she just lies and lies and lies all the damn time about how great jeff treats her and how in love they are. she does it to all the other creeps too for a period of time, telling toby and nat about how kind jeff is to her and they know shes lying.

jeffs not really mean to her most of the time. she'll make him food, do his laundry, she's lied to the police for him, she's probably been an accessory to murder ... definitely actually since she's cleaning and bleaching his bloody clothes... so he's Nice (?)

by nice i mean like. he'll let her sit and rest her head on his shoulder, let her hold his hand, let her say she loves him. he'll joke with her sometimes, play video games with her, bring her on walks or whatever. wore a bracelet she made for him once. (emphasis on once). he tells her she's pretty if she asks

but again, he's using her - just for a place to stay, some extra money, and he'll even send her on runs to go get weed or something from dealers that give discounts to pretty girls. he won't hug her, won't buy her things, won't help clean up, etc.

NONE OF THIS IS SHIPPING OR ROMANTIC LIKE ITS ALL REALLY SAD AND HORRIBLE. most of the creeps are inherently violent, half are murderers, almost none have any emotional regulation . . theyre just very . yeah.

which is why eventually, he kinda like, loses his shit - he starts screaming about how she's a dumbass who threw her life away for him, how he doesnt give a shit about her, he's shoving chairs around, knocking things off tables. eventually he stabs her, once in the side of her stomach, and leaves.

nina knows jane from the other creeps and calls her as she's frantically trying to fix her own wound, and jane swiftly gets her. jane doesnt like her but jane has morals and knows jeffs mistreating nina - but ninas losing her shit when jane mentions a hospital and refuses to go to the ER, so she ends up in jack's cabin getting stitched up.

theyre all kinda shocked that jeff didnt just kill her. its real weird for him to stab her once and leave, but jeff knew how far ninas devotion went and completely expected her to grovel at his feet and beg for forgiveness, and now he can continue using her just like before . but nina twisted it in her head and convinced herself 'oh its because he loves me! he didnt kill me because he loves me! BUT HE'S MAD AT ME AND I CAN'T FIND HIM AND WHAT IF HE'S WITH SOME OTHER GIRL I NEED TO FIX THIS' but literally nobody wants to help her 'get back' with him because like ...... why would they ?????

so she gets onto whitepages, finds liu, and ends up on his doorstep.

that's where my drawing of her crying on lius kitchen floor comes from

ive kinda hit a point in the story where like... this part is the 'current' plot ??? like this is where we are at in this very moment . so i have nothing concrete for the future...

but overall she does get over him, thats probably where ill put more emphasis on her friendship with nat/toby and her eventual little sister type relationship with liu... i just need to figure out how to do that without it coming off as like 'and she went to therapy and everything was fine !^_^'

i want jeff ... to be... vbery miserab;e....... basically.

[traumadumpcentral]

cringe

my first ever attempt at talking to or healing my inner child. i've never done it before but my therapist asked me to try. the very earliest memories i can ever remember are negative. honestly my entire life up until age like 16 is one big blur and the gaps are filled by people telling me what happened, mixed with small little memories that sometimes i dont even know if they were real or my brain just made them up. there are some i know for a fact are true. i remember my dad drinking a lot, and screaming and making these awful scary faces that i was forced to look at. i wasnt allowed to look away and even though now he's one of my biggest supports in life, i will never be able to get his face out of my head. it still scares me at 27. he would yell at everybody. he would hit my brothers and it would scare me. any time i saw physical violence i froze and it felt like my heart stopped and i wanted to cry and help but i just stood there. i shouldnt know what that feels like at such a young age. i shouldnt have known true terror and fear as a child. i should have just been happy and hung out with my friends and had good parents and a loving home. i didnt deserve the way anybody treated me. constantly yelled at and terrified and any attempt to speak up or defend myself or call for help was squashed and made it worse. at a certain point all i could do was just go blank and disassociate and just wait for it to be over. dont say anything, dont change your expression, just sit and wait for it to be over and then in 2 hours everyone will pretend nothing happened and then itll happen again maybe tomorrow, or on thursday, or a week from then if i was lucky. it seemed like a daily occurrence. and then i heard new noises that still sounded angry but different coming from my parents room. even without having any clue what was happening, my gut twisted and i knew it was something i shouldnt be hearing, but curiosity put my ear to the door. and then i grew boobs early and started my period early and hung out with people i shouldnt and found myself in houses i shouldnt be in with people i dont know. nobody should have let me in those situations. my parents should have paid more attention. they should have stopped screaming and fucking for 5 goddamn minutes and paid attention to their children. i shouldnt have had unrestricted access to the internet as a child. i knew porn categories before i was wearing bras. thats not normal and i would be horrified if that was my child. i would feel like i failed the ultimate failure. nobody paid attention to me and it was bittersweet. if nobody pays attention to me then nobody yells at me and puts me down. but then you start a life full of uncertainty and loneliness, and now that you know what sex is you know a way you can get somebody to be nice to you for a minute. i tried self harm but it hurt too much so that wasn't my outlet. i dont know if i ever found my outlet. i think my life was nothing but fear and anxiety until i met my ex and started smoking weed because of course i fell down that rabbit hole. my teen years were filled with stealing money for cigarettes and weed and being around toxic people that were no good for me. what happened to the little girl that was so naive and tried to cling to any innocence left? i didnt have a good motherly figure to teach me how to be a woman, or a girl. all i grew up being taught was to hide away and listen to others blindly. all i knew was to people please and it ended up manifesting in repressing any emotions or rage or anger, any spirit to fight back and set boundaries and express my emotions, and instead i hid behind this stupid wall of being as nice as i could possibly be to everyone, because no one was ever nice to me and i hated how it felt and i never wanted anyone else to feel the same way i've felt all my life. i didn't deserve any of this. it's not fair that other poeple got stable homes with loving parents and i was just weird and quiet and abused and sexualized and taken advantage of. i was just a little girl and i was abandoned.

[skelekin]

Okay so while it is true that the internet has been condensed to a handful of sites for the most part, as someone who did grow up in the 2000s with those sites meant for kids and tweens, I think we have to keep in mind that it can be easy to look at those spaces with rose colored glasses bc they DID have problems, they DID encourage consumer culture on impressionable minds, they DID have microtransactions, kids being on YouTube watching things they probably shouldnt was Very Much a Thing in 2006

Webkinz would literally terminate your account if you didn't buy and register a new toy after a certain period of time! I remember seeing Robux cards in stores before 2010! While yes the success of games like Fortnite ramped up microtransactions, it didn't invent them and I think by putting these sites of the past on a pedestal we miss the real systemic problems that cultivate a society that is largely cruel to children and teens

Whether it's Club Penguin or Tiktok, the internet *should not* have to wholly replace third spaces for kids in the first place! No amount of measures online will be sufficient so long as kids just have no civil rights and aren't allowed to physically exist anywhere with any autonomy, and if they aren't treated as property, they are simply treated as another advertising demographic even in designated websites for them

I also just kind of have to ask, when people say "we should still take measures to keep harmful content off places kids have access to", what does that look like? Of course the web is being sanitized for advertisers and not out of any real concern for children, but does the proposed alternative look THAT much different? I understand that the broader issues at play can't be resolved overnight but I'm genuinely curious what exactly the call to action is in that regard

The concepts of NSFW is being cleared of the Internet under the false pretense of children’s safety when it’s really about the people in power sanitising for advertisers and pushing evangelical narratives AND that not enough is done to keep legitimately harmful content off of spaces that minors have access to are ideas that can coexist

[whosmaggy]

hi maggy,

are you a silver or gold girl? Also, what’s your opinion on a specific ai-platform that’s frequented by yourself and the people around you given what’s recently happened? Would love to hear your thoughts!

Sincerely,

bro😛💦💥🍦

hi bro. i am a silver girl because i have worm undertones and silver looks better. there are no ai platforms i frequent (unless i have a coding assignment) but i assume you are refering to the platform where i am able to talk to a repersentation of my husband.

personally, my thoughts on ai haven't changed. i still think there is a vulture like quality to all ais that deal in information/addiction as currency (in the sense that everything you say is also being feed into their models to make them seem more human and when people stop having the patience to think for themselves most large scale ais will become payed). however, what happened (not recently, because i am getting to this a bit later then i should've) has nothing/very little to do with the referenced ai. it has to do with parents forgetting they are parents, media skewing how relationships should be/are, and technology being the main caretaker of a lot of kids. technology is a great resource but there are multi-billion dollar corporations trying to keep people on any form of it for longer periods of time than they should be. kids have an insane amount of screen time and its guinuenly messing with their development. not in the mood to cite research articles, but there is so much data about the negative affects of an over-use of technology, and when dealing with kids, pretty much any use is an over-use. while what happened is sad, i believe the responsibility will always lie on parents. if they allow their kids access to technology, it should be monitored. i am not trying to be self rightoeus in any way, i viewed and interacted with content that wasnt made for children when i was a child. however, my use of technology was monitored enough (in the mom looking over your shoulder to see what youre watching way) that i wasnt interacting with developmentally innaproriate stuff consistently/for long periods of time. i also spent most of my time not with technology. i played outside with my friends, i played/fought with my brothers, i cooked with my mom. i was able and encouraged to experience and maintain my relationships, which is something a lot of kids are no longer doing.

i will hate on technology any chance i get, however i care more about child care than i do technology so that is what i believe has a bigger affect. i have worked with kids for a while now, and i have worked with kids from the ages of 4-12 which are some of the most defining years. the emotional regulation, friendships, and critical thinking skills that kids who arent chronically online (for lack of better words) compared to those who are is shocking. people kill theselves all the time because of an addiction. thats exactly what this was, a young boy with an addiction that shouldnt have ever existed. you can blame technology or ai for as long as you want and put laws in place and yell from the rooftops, but that will never stop people from pirating and opensourcing and making google docs with links. barriers in tech does not change the life someone has to live outside of the tech they use. kids needs friends, they need time outside, they need human interaction and it is their parents job to provide that.

im not trying to blame the parents, kids will find ways to do the things they want, but this situation wasnt caused by one rash action. it was caused by a long period of emotional dysregulation.

keep ur kids as far away from tech as you can, the ipad is not their primary care taker. let them play outside and ride bikes and fall and scrape their knees. read books to them, take them to the library, play boardgames, cook with them, set up play-dates, colour with them. let them go out with their friends, redocerate their rooms, get after school jobs, do wood work in the garage. there is more to life than the media we are fed, dont hand it to your kids and expect them not to digest it.

From,

Maggy 🌲

[egodeatth69]

i hope nobody follows me and is active. i dont know where to say things so i am now sad posting on my old tumblr account

i am now 21 years old and i am now living in my 3rd apartment. every time i move i move in with strangers my age. i have had terrible terrible luck every time i move somewhere. in my first apartment, my roommates dog wanted to slaughter my kitten so i was stuck in my room 24/7. my second apartment, my roommate sent both of my cats to the emergency room in a 9 month period, which resulted in me being out 4k which she will not give me any money for. i am now in my 3rd apartment and i just sit here and wonder what it will be this time.

my bedroom door is right next to a girl's bedroom door and i feel as if she doesnt like me already. ive only been here for 6 days at this point and she has been very short with me. she goes to bed at 10pm and waits until ive left the kitchen to leave her room. i havent been mean to her and i dont think ive done anything wrong. i have two cats and i told her i did, (i got matched with them because they said they were okay with living with pets) and she said that shouldnt be Too much of a problem. i do not know what i have done wrong so far, but i feel trapped. i feel trapped in my room again and i feel as if she is hostile.

is she actually hostile? or am i letting my trauma take hold of the situation too soon?

there is no space in the kitchen and i am too scared to ask if they can make some. there are two toasters sitting on the counter and a baking mixer. am i just scared for no reason? should i become hostile too? im worried if i say something she'll get upset with me. or should i just take it?

i got a storage unit 20 minutes away because there is genuinely no space for anything. the things i usually cook with (crockpot, big pot, etc) are being stored away because there is no space. im frustrated because i recently found a love for cooking. am i making myself small because somebody here is deemed, to me, to be big?

i feel as if i cant stay up past 10pm and talk to my friends online. or have people over to spend the night. or do things that i often do that make me happy. and i understand she wakes up early and goes to bed early, and that there's physically nothing she can do, but i feel as if. i am just. stuck. my cats are going crazy being cooped up in my room and i want to let them roam around the apartment but she shuts my door while im gone and my cats lose access to their litter box and food. after thought, it wouldnt be rude of me to ask them to not shut my door. that is a normal thing to ask.

i havent used tumblr in years but i just wanted to put this somewhere so i could get it out of me because i feel frustrated and alone. so so frustrated and alone. and trapped. i hate feeling trapped.

but. all i can do is sit here and work on my own things.

maybe i wont modify my lifestyle to try to appease to her the way i want to. maybe i will continue to do my things, and be respectful of course, but i am a roommate and this is my apartment too.

needless to say though, this is my last time having a roommate. i cannot keep doing this. these are the 6th and 7th roommates ive had and i just . am coming to find out i perhaps was not built to have roommates.

[marzipanandminutiae]

if wheelchairs are allowed, shouldnt strollers be? like surely wheelchairs would damage the floors more because they're heavier? i get that people don't want to exclude disabled people from public life but like... telling a mom that she effectively can't visit for several years is no different than telling someone who's temporarily in a wheelchair that. or who uses a wheelchair sometimes but doesnt need one all the time. or whatever. but we don't interrogate wheelchair users about whether it's essential to them forever or not (rightly so!). like banning strollers is an accessibility issue which will impact disabled moms more - some women really can't carry a child for an extended period of time! idk. im ranting a little. i understand this isn't your museum and isn't your policy and so of course you don't have to respond. but i just... at the end of the day, if it's a practical preservation issue that's important enough to exclude people over, it just strikes me as wrong to apply that selectively.

I mean, here’s the thing of it for me:

people choose to be parents

nobody chooses to be in a wheelchair

I say this as someone who loves kids and wants some of her own one day, but when you make the choice to become a parent, you accept that there are going to be things you can’t do. not everything in the world is child-friendly, nor is it obligated to be so. and even things that are open to kids- house museums, by and large, LOVE kids! hell yes engaging the next generation of history-lovers! -do not have an obligation to accommodate every single child-related situation

if you chose to be a parent, one assumes you accepted that there were going to be sacrifices involved in that choice. and one of those sacrifices is that you might have to alter your vacation plans based on your child management situation. to me, there’s a huge difference between “we can’t accommodate this life choice you made voluntarily” and “we can’t accommodate your best way of getting around, which is a medical necessity at least some of the time”

as for the floors, I assume the goal is to minimize the amount of heavy wheeled things going over them while accepting some wear and tear from people who, again, didn’t have any choice re: reliance on said heavy wheeled things

(for the record, most guests I’ve encountered at my museums are very understanding about no-stroller policies and either leave the stroller in the designated area or thank us and find someplace else to visit)

[sparkycanteven]

Just a PSA to all the fandoms that I'm in - ya'll know who you are...

Can we stop chopping off random characters' limbs for 'inclusion' purposes? I ask this as a partial amputee and a disabled person, you may thing 'inclusion' and 'disability is your superpower' but if said character is already able-bodied it sort of feels like you're delving into tokenism. "Oh, but what if we chopped off their limb? INCLUSION! DIVERSITY! A DISABLED CHARACTER!" I am willing to bet anyone who does this to an already able-bodied character has never ever been disabled in their entire life.

Amputation is one of those procedures that you just don't "get over", with an amputation you have a constant physical reminder of the pain and embarassment you felt initially, and of the feeling that you know you will never be whole again. It's not a good feeling, it's not a sexy feeling, it shouldnt be romanticized. The one thing I will say that FullMetalAlchemist did right was how they treated amputations. They didn't glamorize it, they portrayed it as hellacious. Did Ed end up walking anyway? Yes. But was it hell on earth? Yes. Did he still have pain? Yes. However I will say that a lot of the daily hell was glossed over and I can only say for the sake of Ed's dignity, I'm glad.

This is a condition I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. An amputation is a procedure that makes you wish you HAD died instead because your whole life changes and NOT IN THE FUN WAY. It's not, "Oh, a new challenge!" every day is another exercise in "What fresh hell is this?" depending on what part you get amputated, if you enjoy running or hell, even WALKING outside, that's going to be a challenge for you. Forget stairs it's either ramps or you ain't goin'. You have to check whether or not every place you go potentially has handicap access.

In regards to characters - some of you are going to argue for physical therapy and shit like that - I hope your character either lives in a universe with universal health care or has the money of Tony fuckin' Stark because any time you get that involved it's gonna be EXPENSIVE. Also, time periods are a thing and magic, as wonderful as it is, can only do so much. Let's be realistic here. So please... before you permanently disable a character... at least do your research and see how the fuck they would adapt to this PERMANENT CHANGE in their life routine.

Thank you.

Sincerely, - A Disabled person.

[thesharondefenseleague]

i remember being on tumblr a few years back and seeing takes like its sexiest to prefer the m/m fanship so much and not give love to the canon straight ship .

And the most annoying part was people acted as if this was something unique to fandoms of gay ships and not just a toxic thing in all shipping culture. Because really no toxic behavior of fans of gay ships was something that wasnt seen in fans of straight ships and there had been plenty of ship wars between fans of two diff straight ships that got equally ugly even down to bugging creators with even in time periods where access to creators was harder than it is now. And this kinda anti gay ship sentiment does still exist. They just say less on the nose things than its mysogynistic to have gay ships

In fact you do get the same kinda harrassment currently from fans of straight ships but its fans of gay ships that people jump on the most.

Gay ships are only significantly more popular in mediums where the women get less focus and much more shitty writing. So gay ships might be way more popular than their straight counterparts in MCU thats not true in comics in general. Because while many comics dont write women well many do. And fans get something to latch onto and build off.

But really even though women shouldnt be written badly it shouldn't be a point of contention that the gay ship got popular. Like write better women but dont write better women because you wanna have less gay shipping. It really seems to me that deep down for many of those who complained about gay ships outshining the canon ships there's this resentment that there is any space thats even a little popular where for whatever reason the gay ships the gay things are way more popular.

To the point people would find it noteworthy in a positive light when on tumblr a straight ship ( with 2 white people usually) was the most popular in a particular fandom but come up with every reason to dismiss the fans of a popular gay ship. It might be vapid and shallow or maybe just because these two are pretty or fan favs or Both but alot of ships are like that. It wasnt nearly as much of a issue to bring up when the ships weren't gay.

Its a combination of hiding your biases and forgetting what the outside world is like because you spend too much time in a fandom bubble

I hope we’re in an era of “we need to have better written women/non-straight characters because there should be better standards” and “sometimes we will push away women in favor of men for shipping reasons” and “we’re finally in a time where we are getting much better representation than we are used to and it’s amazing” all coexist.

~Mod R

[savnofilter]

answering all anonymous asks

i have a lot of mixed opinions and stuff so i just compiled them into one post. the public ones i will be posting separately, simply because i feel they are different. all responses are under the cut!

tw: mentions of pedophilia and gore.

i am and thank you!! i havent really eaten since tuesday but ive trying to keep my fluids up. i hope you are doing okay as well, anon!

~ i learned about puberty when i was 6 only because my sisters had already learnt it (ages 8). the educational sites used were always catered to helping the youth learn about periods, puberty, and everything that comes along with it. once i was at age 8, i also had access to the sites as well.

~ the idea of sex was brought around to me around 8. at 9 i had an experience but i will not get into it since it’s still slightly traumatic for me. other than having a negative experience with it, i yet again already had an understanding because of my older sister’s and i’s class experiences to have a grasp of it.

i would also like to add that my parent were never prudes. bringing up this point, disclaimer that they havent done anything weird to me or my sister. once i was 11 (in 6th grade), i was learning about sex and reproduction. my mother has always told me if i had any questions about that type of stuff, that i should never be afraid to ask. 

if she felt anything was too explicit she would tell me that i didnt have to learn about that right now and that when i am older she would be receptive responding. i honestly think the hate stems from the fact that they dont get dicked down well enough from their own bfs that they have to write the pent up frustration on minor characters.

i mean with the cult running around, yes it is. if you are not in a close circle or have an established following, you will have a much harder time getting your stuff out there. its not impossible but it is much definitely more difficult to start up. 

if you need help with getting your work out there i am more than welcome in trying to help you out tho!

THANK. YOU. someone had to fucking say it, couldnt be me since they refuse to listen to me. do you know how predatory in itself trying to control what minors of the same age doing together???? the only time i can see minors getting “arrested” unless it was public indecency. also why are you an adult knowing about 14 y.os getting arrested for sexual intercourse? 🤡

it definitely is safe. the people most active are teenagers so do not feel afraid. if there are any concerns please come to me since i am the original and head of the server.

!!! exactly. her sorry ass callout post about my age and followers LOL. “sorry i have more notes than you” i- i had to laugh. i think its so funny because if this was about followers i wouldve done this earlier, not when i hit 5,000 followers. 

^ this. all it took was a gabby hannah callout post about my age cnckjsvd couldnt be me. these people preach about keeping kids safe, the kids of the fandom speak up about an abuse and toxicity problem and suddenly we’re ruining the fandom? pick one or the other pls. 🤡

i just honestly find it concerning that theyre thirsting over a character thats um.... HALF YOUR AGE. fake or not its weird asf. its really not your place to say people shouldnt be uncomfortable because you write them “aged 18+” and the most you age them up to is 18 and still write them in U.A. i dont really understand why its such a hard concept to understand.

i just think its concerning that the same people who think i have no sexual awareness have no problem writing characters my age and the only version that theyre aged up is in their fics.

theres something wrong in this equation here.... 😗

lmao these adults have no problem giving people trauma. and yes, yes, and yes. we arent saying that there is a problem aging them up, its how you do it. its really the fact that theyre aging them up and having them at the dorms and aizawa is still somehow, their homeroom teacher? please make it make sense.

if youre especially going to age up someone and youre about 22+, your excuse is that, “their fake so it shouldnt be a problem” is predatory in all the wrong kind of ways. 

^ they hate to see it. but once again they did make this an age thing,,, obviously they only learned about sex when they hit 18, and i have hacked the system and infiltrated adult territory. 🤡

right. people are like 16 y.os cant have sex -- no its in place so adults like you dont think you can fuck them any younger. thats all i have to say. but no, im fifteen, i dont have a brain or any sense of the world. no h*rny card for me.

💀 imagine being old enough to understand that stuff can be triggering and no human should even be saying that... getting those shane dawson gore fantasies here.

“no one is mad at you for writing smut. adults are mad because youre writing smut”

your adults arent mentally sound and this is why im making this post. ❤️

lmao i am okay!! ive been having phantom nerve pain where my knuckles are because of that ask though and i had a gore dream. : ) i spoke clearly and properly, when i took them as a joke (yknow being the clowns that they are), they got mad! 1/10, would not recommend a conversation! apparently shes more mature about me but her last post was about riding a teenager’s forehead cnjk vdfd COULD NOT BE ME. she choose to ignore all the other claims and it shows~ 🍵

i dont really mind, ive been wanting to talk about my age on this blog for a really long time since last but sometimes things come sooner than later. even if you dont support my work, i still thank you for supporting me as a person!

RIGHT?! im just really concerned that there are adults who understand that there are moral issues here and some dont. this is why im making a post on a select few and not the whole adult community. thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

LMFAO but they dont see it?! 😂 i think me writing about characters my own age is much better than someone who has 10+ years, or better yet, MORE THAN HALF THEIR AGE writing about them. you had your hormones suppressed, doesnt mean mine should as well. 💓

personally, if i was an adult and i made a callout post on someone’s age, i would put a disclaimer to not bully the minors in question,,, just putting out there. your mature and respectful queen is doing magic. 🥰

^ and let me make it clear, after the point of time i realized that following was 18+ blogs was bad, i stopped following them. and even now im sifting through and unfollowing all of them. yes, i do have a brain at fifteen and can think. i know its a foreign concept for some people. 😳

no no no, its okay! i lied about being an adult so this all my fault. :D just think its concerning someone so easily can say one thing and everyone can follow. real cult behaviour and shes the leader. been thinking about making a mean girls poster and sticking her pfp on regina, but even regina had redemption and realized she had work to do. : ) 

lmao these people have said, “i started reading/writing smut when i was 11-13 but i realized how wrong it was and stopped” so how does it differ from me? you dont magically get good at 18. dont be a hypocrite.

even adults themselves are afraid to speak up. all it took was a shitty post for them to ignore the whole story. these people ignore all the abuse, therapy, toxicity, pedophilia (umbrella term) and everything else that she and her friends are being brought to light about. it shows how much of a blind eye that people have.

this is not a tati situation, i will not go back on my words.

this is understandable. this is even past the age, and this me repeating myself once again. i wasnt even the one who said i was groomed i- its people who were in your, space. think about that.

it really is. and what makes it more concerning that the same people who preach this will talk about how they want to, “beat us the fuck up” or rip our fingers for showing out concern for the vagueness of aged up in fics sometimes.

i even stated that its not everyone who does this but no one will listen.

[cybersun-x]

Get Access Now To Private Instagram Account

Setting private Profile viewer in fact helps to knock out unwanted people from accessing your pics and videos. Privacy is built for greater than before user experience, but it can furthermore be annoying in the matter where you want to view a private Instagram profile. So, here I’ve created a lead just about how to view Private Instagram Profiles and (Instagram Private Profile Viewer, realism or scam!) Instagram is in fact the best platform to PrivateInstaViewer part pictures and videos. This platform gives us fine privacy and security features which are definitely useful to the users. Private Profile is a widely used feature because it stops unwanted people from looking at your pics and videos on Insta.

Instagram Viewer

People are finding a way to spy on Instagram profiles and searching for how to view private Instagram profiles without in the same way as and no survey.spy on private instagram account In fact, many online tools claim that they take effect as Instagram private profile viewer. So, Ill be reviewing such tools and will furthermore instagram viewer behave you the perfect energetic process to view private Instagram profiles without in the same way as them and in the same way as proof. There are many reasons to spy on Instagram profiles. Such as looking what your extinguish is up to, spying on competitors profile and many supplementary reasons in the same way as that. Just follow the actions Ive shown here and youll be practiced to view private Instagram profile without having any problem. Note: Ive just reviewed some online Instagram Private Profile Viewers. I know definitely competently that those tools are just hoax and dont work. But, this little review might be obliging for you to understand that we cant comprehensibly view private Instagram profiles using some online tools. In order to begin my little research, I dependence to locate a most used tool which claims to take effect you private profiles pics etc. So, I comprehensibly visited Google and searched for Instagram Private Profile Viewer. There were large quantity of tools listed in the search results. I clicked on the first result and landed on a website in the same way as this The homepage looks handsome and there was a button saying Click Here To View Private Instagram Account Now, fascinating right! By clicking instagram private profile viewer on that button, I was redirected to a supplementary webpage where username of Insta account needs to be entered.view private instagram profile I comprehensibly entered my own account username. After 4-5 seconds they even asked me to pick whether I want to view the Photos or Profile details. Looks definitely fascinating and it seems that private details will be in stomach of me within a few seconds.how to view private instagram profile From fused options, Photos out of the ordinary was chosen by me. After 10+ seconds, loading stops and WHACK! Nothing appeared on the screen. Even after fused tries, no details were served to me. Disappointing to me and not far off from every the people who had used it. :/view private instagram profile release Now, its definitely certain that this website is take effect and not working. not far off from 4-5 websites were reviewed by me and every of them arent working. Even some sites want users to utter a survey which is definitely full of spam and misleading. quick Note: You shouldnt use Private Instagram Viewer tools or services. The explanation at the back this is simple and its the fact that none of those tools are energetic and wont take effect you the private Instagram Profile Pics and Videos etc. Instead, those are misleading and even full of spammy software etc. end wasting your period and follow the genuine way to view private Instagram profiles. Now lets directly jump into the methods which are in fact useful to view Private Instagram Profiles. As Ive already told you above that tools arent going to encourage you in any way. every of them are misleading and they cant comprehensibly bypass the Instagram security in order to fetch Pictures and Videos from a private Insta account.Hence, you probably dependence a energetic and easiest way. Ive listed by the side of every the way you can use or follow. every of them arent rocket science or something which needs a lot of complex experience.

Those are just simple and systematic actions and furthermore filled in the same way as social engineering. It might sound a little bit strange to most people. But agree to me, its in fact an simple process and theres even no dependence to use your personal details in the same way as Name, E-Mail, Phone etc. Ill lead you through step by step procedure to create an account and little bit social engineering lead to create that person take your follow demand which will be sent by a <b><I>how to see private instagram accounts</b></i> take effect account. Instagram allows users to create an account just by using an E-Mail address. So, its good opportunity for every of us. Just follow the step by step process to view profile of private Instagram account without any tool. We dependence a take effect E-Mail address, I recommend you to use www.temp-mail.org website. Youll be automatically utter a take effect E-Mail in the same way as you visit them for the first period Copy the E-Mail domicile and switch encourage to the Insta Sign-Up form.How To View a Private Instagram Profile We furthermore dependence a take effect username, correspondingly setting release to check the list of funny usernames and pick a fine username from the list. It can see in the same way as a definitely simple task right! But, you nevertheless dependence to be creative though creating a take effect profile. create how to view a private instagram account certain youve to use the relavant account picture. In fact, you should set your account to Private correspondingly that the person wont be practiced to see your uploads etc. until he/she follows you back. Just create your account see genuine and your follow demand will be trendy by that person. Dont use some common pics or misleading username. create it see genuine and after that you can view Instagram private profiles in the same way as ease using your twist Insta account. This can be a little bit annoying and time-consuming. In fact, there are definitely fewer chances that youll succeed in it. Its because at least one of your follower/following account should be in the same way as the account on which you want to spy on. understand it by this example, lets say Im in the same way as an account in the same way as username example_account. Now, in the same way as I visit a profile which is already followed by example_account, but not by me, Ill see a little pronouncement saying Followed By example_account, example_account1 etc. (See The Image by the side of Below)followed by details in the same way as you found such an account, you just dependence to DM that person and question if he/she can encourage you or not. Write a detailed pronouncement on why you want to spy on that account and there are fine acceptable chances that he/she will encourage you in spying.

These are the by yourself methods which will take effect for you. Its because theres no tool or abet which can bypass the Privacy and entry the content of a Private account on Instagram. So, dont waste your period on such hoax and fraud online tools. Instead, use your mind and creativity. Follow the 2 methods which Ive shown. Set up the take effect account expertly and there are definitely high chances that he/she will take follow demand of your account. create a woman account. Its because males take the follow requests of females, and females dont even mind to take the demand from out of the ordinary female. We know this matter definitely well. Both the methods will encourage you to view private Instagram profiles without any trouble. drop by the side of your suggestions in the comment section. part your experience in the same way as every the readers.

[lettersfromleslie]

mournin me corners / bats & ghats / & yes, the existence of mysteries!

Righto, long time no pitter patter. Howya been?!

Once again there’s been too much in between to cover in a post and I’m sorta scratching my head wondering where to start. I just got back from a monthlong trip with Ariel and I meant to just go into that, but I guess we’re gonna have to start earlier. Last left off in August, for God’s sake… Right, and so when we got back to New York there was a period with a lot of hard work and administration and very little on the creative side. A move, too - moved apartments in September, that was a whole thing. And all the kickstarters and print proofs and mastering studios and venue haggling and spotify metrics and budget goals and facebook promotion and opening acts and venue shares and profit margins - and a whole lot of fuckin busking - yeah, and by the end of all that I felt a lot more like a salesman than a musician, I reckon. What a busy boy! Could’ve sworn I went into all this before, though.

Wait, I see - okay, so I DID write ye before I left - in fact all this time I had a nice grim post drafted and ready to go. Seems I just never got around to hitting “post”. I must’ve been busy. Anyway, look, it was all this sorta thing:

“I’ll say this: I’m sick of the grind. Writing songs, singing them - I like that. Everything else, it makes me want to flip the board. It seems I have explored every angle of the corner I’m in. It’s not a bad corner; it’s comfortable, I’m well-fed. But it’s a corner, by god, and knowing the confines of your existence is one of the most deadening things there is to know. Being familiar with the shape of the hours you have to spend. Is this what all you workin’ joes out there feel like day to day? My friends tend to make fun of me for these complaints. “Almost like having a real job, huh?” they smirk. Well, I’m not numb to it yet, so I’m running off into the jungle a while. All this time since releasing the new album I’ve been doing what you’re supposed to do as an independent musician, but it’s not what I’m supposed to do, and when you’re untrue to yourself, when you do things you don’t want to, you add to a deficit - and as that deficit grows you become more unlike yourself. And you catch yourself doing things with bad flavours - things that are harsh, rigid, proud, hurtful. This damn corner. What a sad and familiar corner. I know every nook and cranny and no mysteries. Enough. I need those mysteries. I need ghosts, I need bats in the brain. I can’t breathe without a feeling that something unasked for might happen at any moment… Okay, so find a place to be. There’ll have to be a great escape at some point, but for now we’re putting it off with a small escape. To the jungle! Take the money and run!”

Whew, poor fella. Glad I’m not me. Anyway, the verdict’s still out on whether or not it worked, but I feel a bit better, and a lot poorer, so hey, on to the next thing. And I reckon now’s as good a time as any to figure that out. Got the tail end of the winter to ride out, the sparkle of the new album’s starting to fade (though I still have plenty o records left to peddle), and all the other loose ends seem about to get tied up (notably the ill-fated Jackson Bollocks, which ended in tears after two years of preparation and only one concert). Aside from some goofy songs about sad animals I haven’t written a damn thing since god knows when and it’s high time I got back on the horse. As to ideas, I dunno. I think I’ll just turn the tap open and see what gurgles out. One idea I have been flirting with, though, is a small European tour this fall, and I’ll have to be getting on that now. You’ll always hear it here first, folks. I like you long form types. Thoughtful lot, you all are. Time on your hands. Not scrollin too hard.

The trip, the trip… Egh. Maybe I just won’t go into it. Nothing more boring than hearing about the holidays of others. Bit like how hearing other people’s dreams tends to be more boring than you’d expect. Gotta be a real doozy of a dream to hold the attention, even when it comes from someone you’re dying to understand. I reckon it’s because dreams and holidays have that parenthetical quality, existing outside of the main plots of our lives. Besides, it was all me and me lady love, and you know how yucky couples get when you leave em alone too long. Oh - that’s not true, we actually linked up with the famous William Seymour-Jones in Hanoi for a while. Hadn’t seen him in years. Still his same self, maybe even more so. Don’t wanna jinx it or anything but I worked on him a while to come to New York and I think he might even try and do it. I owe a lot to that guy.

Certain places do change ya. Varanasi was one of them. Didn’t spend enough time in India to get more than a taste, really, but there were moments of real awe. It’s such a gift to feel awe again after a long jaded spell. New ways of dealing with the dead. The sensation of a place testing you and unfolding slowly, not giving everything away, more personal than expected, being recognised by strangers, being discussed and folded in.

Anyway, the holidays of others, what? I’ll try and put it into the songs. The nifty thing about a song is if you write it right you can make it so everyone who hears it goes somewhere different. Got some notes from when I was all zonked on bhang lassi ramblin the ghats: “good song shouldnt tell clear story but give access to mysteries”

I like that! I like mysteries!

[radhikaschauhan]

Why Shouldnt We Save A Huge Amount In Savings Bank Account?

We don’t know what situation will come at what time so, it is good to save money. But saving a lot is also too dangerous when we consider some of the facts. Why bank employees remind you about the savings in your account? Have you ever excited to get an answer to this? And many times it is said Why Shouldn’t We Save A Huge Amount In Savings Bank? !! Don’t worry in this article you will get an answer to this question. So don’t wait and let’s dig our research!

Why Shouldn’t We Save A Huge Amount In Savings Bank?

Following are the reasons for why would we not keep too much money in the saving bank account

Generally, every person wishes to save a huge amount for his/her future expenses and also for medical expenses. So make sure that you save money for that could cover your expenses for over 6 or 7 months. Saving more than this limit will become a problem. To say more precisely, you may end up with some loss. There are two main reasons why you end-up with loss. One is the psychological behaviour of a human while other is because of less interest rate claim on your savings. Let’s check them in detail.

1. Psychological Behaviour:

You may think that this reason is very silly, but this is the actual reason why most of the people end up with less money. For example, you will get your salary every first week of the month, but why you will end-up with less amount at the end of the month? There are many reasons why you get into that situation. Let us discuss them;

After receiving your money you cover all your bills like electricity bill, phone bill, gas bill, etc. You have to pay your monthly EMIs (if any). As our today’s world consists of multiple options and lot more entertainments, with the remaining money brain starts to manipulate us to upgrade the things around us, to buy accessories in the online portal with discounts, to crave for our favourite food, Opting to give good and fancier gifts for marriage functions becomes our choice and finally vacation trips if possible.

So, these all are the reasons why you end up with less money at the end of the month. This reason not only works for monthly salaries but also for a large amount of savings. If you save more money than required then this behaviour hooks up and at last this psychological behaviour wins the battle.

But this reason is only for some people who can’t resist themselves from buying. But the other reason is a very practical one and it is better to not neglect the second reason.

2. Interest Rates On Savings Account:

The interest rate on a savings account is fixed by the Ministry of Finance, the minimum interest rate is 3.5% per annum and it’s a part of RBI circular.

The upper limit of the interest rate is arbitrarily decided by each bank.

State Bank of India (SBI) Account establishes an average interest rate of 3.5% for savings accounts with a minimum balance of 1 lakh and an average rate of 2.75% for all accounts with a balance of less than 1 lakh.

Do you think saving in Fixed Deposits gives you the good profit you can get?

The answer is No, because if you have interested the same amount in mutual funds or fixed deposits then you might have ended with more profit. It is true that business fluctuates every minute but know that things take time and start to invest at least when you have saved the necessary amount for 6 to 7 months. Over a particular period, you will get good results when compared to results from a savings account. To understand this better let us take an example.

Let Us See An Example:

A person named ‘X’ is depositing a principal amount of 50,00,000 in his account and after 4 years his interest amount is 7,00,000(with a 3.4% interest rate per annum). Do you think he has got a good profit? The answer is “No”, with an inflation rate of 8% he has got a negative profit. If he had invested in mutual funds or any other investment options, he would earn a profit rate of approximately 15,00,000(which is double of the obtained interest amount). When the waiting period is more than 30 years then you can see a very good difference in between saving the money and investing the money.

Why there is a lot of difference between saving and investing in stocks? What factors change the interest rate in a savings account? Let’s check them.

Factor Reducing The Saving Account Interest Rates:

Inflation:

Inflation refers to the rate at which the price level of goods and services increases over a while. The period for inflation depends on the surplus or demand of the goods in the market. When a product has less consumption than the previous time, the price of that product decreases, and if the product has more demand the price rises.

The inflation is with an average rate of 7-8% while the interest from a savings account is 3.5% on average. This shows that you will get negative returns. Also as many think that it is better to save money instead of investing them in stocks, banks provide fewer interest rates on your savings. So that bank will never go in debts.

So, we have seen what interest rate we can claim while saving in a savings account, and do you think it is better to save rather than investing? No, right! It’s okay if you have saved the minimum amount that covers your expenses for 6 to 7 months as I have already said. But it’s not quite suggestable to save more in the account. So, let’s check for an alternate solution.

A Solution To Balance Funds:

You can save the excess money apart from your monthly expenses in a short-term mutual fund (that has around 8% interest) and has better taxation than FD (Fixed Deposit).

Invest your money in stocks which could roughly give an annual interest of 7%, but note this long-term investment requires no manual intervention for a specified period so save your emergency fund in a savings bank account and invest only the excess amount in stocks.

The period between a savings account and FD (or other long-term investment options) is wide and so is the interest rate.

Make sure that you use liquid cash instead of too many online transactions.

Maintain savings which cover expenses up to 7 months.

Make the wise decision of investing a part of your income in any long-term investment option to never miss the profit.

Rule Of Pandemic Covid-19 Over 2020:

Yes, this pandemic situation has created poverty, unemployment, destruction of lives, loss of wealth, etc., people are looking for various means to the sail through this tough time.

According to a survey, 32.2% people have invested in personal savings account between February to June 2020, which is 16% more than the previous year, but this might not be a very good idea to yield a profit, because owing to the inflation even banking sectors are struggling to give high-interest rate accounts.

The price level of bitcoins, golds shows this current inflation is considered to be the highest in the past 9 years (since 2011).

What Is The Best Option To Invest Money Now?

i. Try investing a part in stocks, mutual funds to earn more profit.

ii. Try investing a part in a savings account for secure and steady income.

But apart from loss while saving huge money in the bank what benefits can we avail from them? Let’s check them.

Benefits Of Savings Account:

1. Security Blanket:

A Savings Account is found to be a safe approach for funds. The funds in the account remain in there until it’s withdrawn, often this is regarded as the reason why the savings account has a low-interest rate. The amount present in the account is considered to be liquid, the term is used to refer the liberty of the account holders to withdraw an amount up to a minimum required balance anytime anywhere.

2. Make Hay While The Sun Shines:

Being a savings account holder allows you to enjoy discounts, reward points on purchase using the ATM card of either credit or debit card. Medical insurance, foreign travel insurance, and other insurances for opening the account are provided. Also, passbooks, net banking, and cheque book facility are a bonus to the account holders.

3. Close Fisted Or Generous:

The account is suitable for close-fisted people who choose to save money instead of spending and also generous people who wish to spend more money. There are no restrictions on cheques deposited or issued or any other payments made.

Difference Between Savings Account And Current Account:

Basically, both are similar to each other. In a savings account, you will save the money to fund you in later times or during emergency conditions, whereas in a current/ checking account the funds which you save are primarily used for daily expenses or it is preferred by people who require the frequent withdrawal of funds.

A savings account does not encourage more than 6 withdrawals a month, but the checking account does encourage. The Savings account has more rate of interest (minimum of 3.5%) then checking account (minimum of 0.25%).

The main reason for us to discuss between a savings and a current account is that most often people use a checking account as savings account just to facilitate their easy access and frequent withdrawals. But there is a high risk, if a bank collapses, it promises its customers to settle back their amount fully but in the worst conditions at least a protected amount specified by the bank is settled to the savings account holders but in a current account you cannot specify or expect so.

Tip: Never Give Culprit An Opportunity!

Our very small flaw/ignorance could make us repent for years, yes, heaping or saving all the hard-earned money in a single place could provide high chances for victimizers to easily loot the money. Getting track of an individual’s account details is not as tough as Rocket sciences, so distributing our funds across different trustworthy banking and financial sectors could give a ray of hope and a good backup even if situations turn out to be bad.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):

1. What is the maximum amount to save in a savings account?

There is no maximum amount restriction but when you deposit or withdraw an amount more than 10 lakhs, you should fill a form to process the request.

2. What is the tax imposed on a Savings account?

Under “Income from Sources”, a savings account is supposed with a minimum of 4% tax and increase in the tax rate is added on bases of the individual’s income sources, and balance amount in the account.

3. What is the tax imposed on mutual funds?

If the return from the mutual fund is more than 1 lakh per annum then it’s subjectable to 10% of the returns as tax. Else no tax is imposed.

4. What does Bitcoin mean?

Bitcoin is a computer file it is generally stored in a digital wallet app on either smartphone or PC.

People can share bitcoins to others. The transactions made are recorded in the block chain, it’s a public list. It prevents the misuse of bitcoins. It is valuable as goods and services are provided in exchange for bitcoins.

Bottom Line:

Thus, I conclude by saying instead of saving a hefty amount in savings account invest funds in mutual funds or long-term investment options which could give considerable profit, and provide an opportunity to become a big buck.

Via http://invested.in/why-shouldnt-we-save-huge-amount-in-savings-bank-account/

source https://investedin.weebly.com/blog/why-shouldnt-we-save-a-huge-amount-in-savings-bank-account

[notconsolation]

So here’s my history. It’s gonna be long, so I fully do not expect anyone to read this, this is as much a record for myself as it is anything else. I fucking pray this read more works. If it doesn’t, happy scrolling, it’s a long one boys

It’s hard to place because my memories of the beginning are quite vague. It became noticeable at the end of the summer of 2012, so I’m guessing  it started in sort of late 2011. So I was 13. It sort of kicked off with orthorexia, but neither I nor anybody in my circle would have known the signs to notice them. It also turned into anorexia pretty early on I think. Or at least I just finally accepted the label after a while. I always hated the word, though. It’s a phonetically horrible word. The german was worse to me, though now I think it’s more accurate. ‘Magersucht’ - ‘gauntness/skinness addiction’ basically. I don’t know- I just started eating things like a salad with no vinegar and no oil once a day, then sort of once every two days and nobody really noticed. I went on an exchange trip to Spain that summer and I hated it because everything was oily and I felt the stains the food left around my mouth and had to fight the urge to wipe away at it constantly. I would try to cut it up and spread the food around the plate to get rid of oil, I’d rub it on my lips on the way to my mouth so that I could wipe it off afterwards rather than take it in. I went vegan I went gluten free I went uh.. food free after a bit basically. My mother noticed in late 2012 because she went away for a week and when she came back she said my clothes hung off me and I’d always been a size xs. Didn’t stop me from doing youtube workout videos from 11pm until 2 every night. God, my tailbone bled onto my sheets sometimes and I’d use that to pretend I was still getting my period. It was obsessive, but in a way that’s very removed to me now, because now I’m obsessive in so many different ways, though partially about the same things.

We spent a long time sort of not doing much except my mother fretting and my father not mentioning it and my sister rolling her eyes at my attention whoring by coercing my organs into imminent failure. We went to a couple of doctors to try to get some kind of diagnosis because I wasn’t strictly denying that there was something wrong, but I wan’t going to take the intiative to get ‘better’ from a situation which I perceived as not normal, sure, but not my responsibility to fix because it wasn’t my mind that told me I wasn’t normal and okay, it was everyone else’s. So if my being deathly thin bothered them, they could do something about it but I wouldn’t. I think that’s more or less what my thought process was. I guess around this time I was hovering around 42-44 kilos. I got so fucking good at figuring out which of my clothes weighed the most so that I could wear them when my mom would weigh me and cry. I knew she wouldn’t want to see my body, so I wore layers of wet clothes under denim and she never asked me to take it off cause she didn’t want to see my bones. In fairness I cried a lot, too. Sometimes I guess we cried about a lot of the same stuff.

My relationship with my ED is, to a large degree, inseparable from my relationship to my mother because for three very formative years in my life we spent every conscious moment aware of how much suffering each was going through, and that empathy magnified the pain and suffering itself. I talk about this in past tense when really I shouldn’t, but it’s easier to pretend now that we live in separate countries. She is the best person and I don’t know.

But anyway, we went to different therapists for a while. None of them did much. We tried this family based approach for a while which was... god i never want to go to family therapy of any kind ever ever ever again. Didn’t help, really. I saw that therapist about a year later when I was walking home from school and she stopped me and said I was looking so good and wasn’t it nice that I was recovering and I was thisclose to spearing her with a pitchfork and telling her that really, as a therapist that specialises in eating disorders she should know better than to assume someone is in recovery because they’ve gained weight before cooking her up like a suckling pig. She was probably objectively nice. But she was such a fucking Karen. Anyway, all this time I was still losing weight. I got up early and drank litres so I’d still weigh the same in the morning, but man. There was a morning when I overslept and I panicked and my mother panicked and we all cried and she wouldn’t give me time to layer up and drink and so - tada - there’s the number blinking up at me and everyone i angry and there’s a lot of snot from my mother and spit from my father, but my body holds on to its fluids because it knows i can’t afford to lose them. anyway, I hate the number 35.8 now forever. I’m not even entirely sure that was my lowest weight but I’ve literally blocked out those memories. I have no access to them whatsoever.

I have no idea how i never fainted. I missed a lot of school. Everyone went so far out of their way to accommodate me. I realise i haven’t been talking about what went on inside me and it’s because it’s like there’s a haze over it all, muffling the whole thing and inserting this sort of dead, lifeless ringing into my ears and before my eyes. I know I was obsessive and that I was aware that I should get better and I agreed that I should get better, but that I would always find ways to make sure I didn’t eat more than 800 calories a day at most. Thereabouts, anyway. I just Don’t Remember so much of it. But yeah. My parents got me a place on a clinic waiting list and I got moved up to have an interview with the Oberfrauärtztinchefincaptainsirmaam and i am so very grateful that she was so very awful. I distinctly remember her telling me i should be strapped to a bed with a needle in my arm and that i shouldnt be thinking and doing school work anymore because intense thinking can burn as many calories an hour as a lumberjack at work. So when a spot opened up at the clinic I was able to beg and cry and beg my parents for one last shot at doing it myself. I have no idea why they let me, I really don’t. By this point one or more of my organs had probably been permanently damaged and it’s a miracle my bones aren’t entirely porous and brittle. I get survivors guilt sometimes because I really do think that, objectively, I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t have made it through that. And I was so difficult about it. I would say I want to recover, and then not do anything to further that. I’d shoot down every suggestion and option and resolutely state that I was different and so, sorry mother mine, but the big fat book you bought with helpful tips and tricks? not gonna help, go away, leave me alone. I guess that was my version of teenage angst: ‘go away, I don’t need help literally staying alive because I’m a different human being from every other human being that’s ever gone through this’.

I do still believe that, in a way. I believe that everyone’s experience of it is different, and the causalities are so muddled that they’re barely discernible, but I was such a bitch about. I mean I still am, 100% but..!.

But I did gain weight back. I was still fucked up inside, but people stopped asking if I was feeling okay and started telling me they were so glad and proud that I was feeling better. Nobody really thought ‘hey, maybe telling this girl constantly and with strong, authoritative voices that she needs to eat eat eat eat eateateateatEAT might fuck her up a bit uwu’. It’s simplistic to blame it on that, though. But yes. I gained about 30 kilos in 2 years and I hated every second of it and my mental state deteriorated pretty steadily and lo, my anorexia became more akin to binge eating disorder. Depression kicks in, identity crises abound, the constant nagging intrusive ideas and noisy background of thoughts never stop, gender dysphoria jumps on the bandwagon for a while, and all manner of those tasty self-destructive tendencies find days of my life to cronch down on and consume whole.

But it always comes back down to food. I’ve made the binge eating section of this so brief because it exhausts me so and because I’m not sure how comprehensible it is as a concept to people. When you say binge eating disorder people sometimes think ‘oh shit man, I get you, I eat waaay to many pizzas AND, christ help me, sometimes I have a whole tub of ice cream by myself i hope god can forgive me hahaha’

BUt, Chad, what you fail to understand is that this is chronic behaviour where I consume sometimes seven or eight thousand calories at once and calculate every single one afterwards and literally worry that my stomach might rupture from the sheer volume of food and also that I’m doing yet more serious long term damage to my body and oh! hey frantic google searches on how diabetes works and if you can get it from repeatedly eating whole jars of nutella! didn’t see you there!

Listen, it’s all been a downer, yeah. By this point I’m assuming I’m speaking exclusively to the future self that I wrote this for as a record of what I remember. But listen. It always comes down to food for me. It just always does. And this whole thing was just sparked by the notion that I would love it if more people were aware that, sure, I deal with it because I have to and because it’s what one does, but if you could just... not bring up food to me unless I bring it up first? that would be great? And i don’t mean questions about my thoughts on it or anything, I just mean specifically for the future prospect of eating. For that very specific thing, if you don’t bring it up I’ll be super grateful because yeah, I’d love to watch a movie with you, but I’d love it even more if I didn’t have to spend an hour thinking of an excuse for not eating popcorn or not wanting to go for drinks afterwards. I think it would be amazing if we could establish a dialogue as a norm.

something like at some point having a conversation with someone along the lines of

‘hey, you know I don’t judge you or expect you to justify your eating habits to me, right?’

‘wait, really?’

‘yeah, that’s your business and I honestly don’t care, so you can stop stressing about it’

This has been an ED chat with Hannah

[mintedwitcher]

I'd like to just point out one thing, if I may?

The stage where people think there is a heartbeat (~5 weeks gestation) appears to the pregnant person as "oh my period must be a bit late". And thats only IF the person has an extremely regular period. If they have any natural hormonal issues or are taking a form of hormonal birth control that can alter the schedule of their period, they may not know they're pregnant for MONTHS.

It's not always possible to catch and end a pregnancy at that early stage, especially with so many places enacting "heartbeat bills" which cut off abortion access at 6 weeks.

Thats less than 2 weeks for a pregnant person to decide whether they want to keep the fetus or not, and if not, they then have to organise funds, possibly arrange transport, not to mention with so many places now insisting on mandatory waiting periods and counselling?

All up, that gives the pregnant person a minimum of a few DAYS to decide.

That isnt enough time to make a massive, life changing decision.

Not only that but restricting abortion access doesn't help anybody. People who are refused abortion access due to legal restrictions will turn to dangerous methods. They may even die from that lack of access.

Pregnancy is not a guaranteed thing. It can go wrong even under the best circumstances. And regardless of that, the pregnant person should have full access to any and all vital healthcare that they need. Which means resources and information on keeping a pregnancy, if thats what they want, but also abortion access. Because some people just don't want to be pregnant.

And i am saying this as calmly and as respectfully as I possibly can because Ive looked through the notes here and I've seen you're being respectful too, but no amount of promising people that they could just give up the child, or telling people that they just shouldnt have had sex, is going to chamge the fact that they don't want to be pregnant at all.

Just respect other people's medical decisions, please. You don't know what they're dealing with, or what they can handle. They do.

So when I say I'm pro life, people think I'm saying consenting to sex = consenting to pregnancy? no.

Facts about me, being pro life:

1. I believe that life starts with the heartbeat, abortions before then are fine imo.

2. Condoms, birth control, and other methods of safe sex are good if you're not ready

3. a woman doesn't have to keep the child just because she's pregnant. giving the baby to a foster home or adoption centre as a baby where they can be adopted at a young age is good.

4. I'm 100% for womens/equal rights, however, I dont think that abortion is actually as related as people make it out to be. It's simply a conversation on ethics

5. If a couple wants a child, aborting it because the child will be autistic or have another "imperfection" is horrible and inhumane.