#and they say ''here's a band aid if you don't die it wasn't serious if you do die it was that's pretty much all we're willing to do''

[laurelwinchester]

at this point my doctor’s ‘’chill’’ demeanor is becoming a fucking problem

[dragon-ascent]

Zhongli feels like things are getting serious with you, so he decides to reveal to you his true identity. He'd initially wanted to wait for the perfect opportunity to do so, but this is the kind of band-aid that needs to be ripped swiftly. So, he sucks it up, sits you down one fine evening, and tells you his secret.

To say you're stunned is a grossly massive understatement. You look like you're about to combust, with the way you're shaking like a leaf.

"Oh, god..."

"Yes, precisely." Zhongli squeezes your hand calmly.

"Oh god oh god oh god..."

"Indeed a god, dear. But fret not-"

"You're here to punish me, aren't you?" you whine, crouching to the floor.

"Punish you?!" Zhongli raises an eyebrow, crouching to your level and placing a hand on your shoulder to steady you, though it barely helps with the way you're vibrating right now. "Whatever for?"

You're practically hyperventilating now. "So like, when I was in grade three, I promised my friend I'd lend her my color pencil, but I ended up not lending it because I didn't trust her clumsy ass not to misplace it! D-does that count as a contract unfulfilled?!"

Zhongli stares at you. "What..? No, that is hardly a-"

"Or," you wail, "that time I told my cousin we'd split a big cookie 50-50, but it was actually 55-45 in my favor on purpose?! Fairness was lost, wasn't it?! The contract became proof of my deception?!?!"

The poor ex-archon shakes his head. "No, emphatically no!"

It's like you're not even listening to him as you shamefully list off all the times you told lies, failed to make good on deals, and the like. "Please...forgive me! Don't punish me! I'm too young to face the Wrath of the Rock and die!"

Zhongli rocks you gently all night, reassuring you that he does not punish people for having not done homework when they were young.

[thomabrainrot]

Teach me how to cook, please?

Thoma has always stayed loyal to the Kamisato Family. Always prioritizing them at any time of the day.

But there were still days where Thoma would feel a little bit rebellious. On days where he knew he wasn't too busy, he would go to a little house just right outside Inazuma City. S

He would knock lightly on the door before hearing a voice saying

"Come in, Thoma!"

She didn't need to turn or take a peak behind her, the housekeeper had his own special knock that Y/N already knew it was him immediately.

Without tearing her eyes from the canvas, Y/N continues to paint in detail with different colors. Thoma sits wordlessly beside her, trying his best not to make a single sound as to not break her concentration.

Being one of Inazuma's prominent painters, Y/N has stayed focus on her brush strokes. Thoma doesn't mind, he understands how people have certain moods where they're concentrated and absolutely nothing could break it. Instead, he takes this time to observe her. Hair a little bit messy, tied in a loose ponytail while splotches of paint decorated her arms, hands and apron. It was nothing out of the ordinary, though Thoma's house keeping instinct gave him the urge to clean up, he respected that artists' just work in different ways.

It hasn't been long until Y/N huffs and stands from her seat, taking a few steps back she looks at the painting in different angle before clapping her hands together. Thoma knew that it meant she was satisfied, at least for today.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Thoma. What brings you here today?" Y/N cleans her hands with a rag cloth.

"Nothing. I had some free time before returning to the estate" That was a lie. Thoma basically rushed all his errands today just to see you, even if it's for a little bit. That was all he needed, he was satisfied.

"Well, I'm feeling kind of famished. I haven't really eaten much lately..." Y/N gestured to the bowls of cup noodles on her sink.

Thoma gasps and springs up from his seat "You should always eat your meals!"

"I mean.. Other than not having the time.. I just really don't know how to cook other things..." Y/N shyly rubs the back of her neck

"You could've told me! I would love to cook for you" Thoma exclaims

"N-no! I couldn't possibly take up your time. Your busy as you are.. but maybe you can teach me? So I can cook on my own?"

"Hmm.. That sounds like a good idea" Thoma then proceeds to open her cabinets and sees that she has enough decent ingredients to actually make egg fried rice. He prepares it diligently on the table before explaining to her what she needs to do.

"Plus, I would really need to learn how to cook for my future spouse.." Y/N jokes suddenly

But the dear housekeeper was too surprised at the thought. The thought of Y/N marrying.

"You don't need to.." he says in a serious voice

"Oh come on! We all know a woman's way to a man's heart is his stomach. No one will ever want to marry me if I can't cook.."

"I would"

"Huh?"

"I said.. T-that's not true. There are a lot of men who could cook for the family now!"

"Like you?" Y/N teases him

"Y-yeah. I could cook an entire feast!" Thoma boasts as his ears blush

"Well I'd envy them. Whoever you marry and cook for in the future would be so lucky.." Y/N giggles to herself and sigh "So lucky.."

As Y/N gets lost in her thoughts, she accidentally cuts her finger while chopping some onions. Thoma immediately drops everything and comes to her aid.

"S-sorry.. I'm so clumsy, aren't I? Can't even chop onions.. I-I'll probably just die single haha"

"Don't say that!" Thoma immediately puts a band aid over her cut "You're a great woman! Any guy would be lucky to have you. They'd be foolish to not want you!"

"Y-you think so?"

"I know so!"

Y/N couldn't help but laugh "You're always so kind Thoma. But it's fine, I'm fine with just being with myself and eating ramen for the rest of my life!"

"No!"

"Eh?"

"I wouldn't let that happen to you. I'd cook for you. Everyday. You won't even need to chop anything. I'd do everything for you" Thoma says as his emerald eyes shine in seriousness.

"T-Thoma are you.. are you-"

"I'll become your spouse so you won't need to worry at all!"

A silence falls between you two and Thoma suddenly steps back and covers his mouth as soon as he realizes what he said. While you were like a red gaping fish with your mouth hanging open.

"Ah.. ahaha.. haha" Y/N awkwardly laughs "That's a funny joke Thoma"

The housekeeper pouts and approach Y/N "I'm not joking.. I would marry you. I would want to be the luckiest guy to receive your love. I would want nothing else"

Y/N couldn't hold back anymore and stands up on her tiptoes to give Thoma a kiss on the lips. Thoma doesn't let this chance slip as his hands grasp her waist and the back of her neck to kiss her better. There was instant fireworks as they kissed each other lovingly.

When they part, both of their lips were swollen as they catch their breath.

"Maybe we could.. date first before marrying?"

Thoma couldn't help but chuckle "Of course. But just know that I already have plans for our marriage already"

----------------------------------------------------------

hello everyone! I'm Tsuki, a new writer for Thoma!

I love my husband / malewife dearly. To the point that I have to write scenarios / imagines because I have read almost everything here and in ao3 xD

please do not hesitate to send me an ask for requests (though i cant promise i cant write everything immediately) or just send me a message so we can bond over our malewife!

[thirstofgames]

kitty and the jailbird

#️⃣2️⃣

-IT'S A MATCH-

A blank chat popped open and Damien stared at it for a second. He had honestly not expected it. The girl actually swiped him right. He looked at the clock impatiently; he did not have much time left in the library. There was a loud shout from the hallway, his muscles tensing, ready to hide the phone and bolt at any second.

He regretted that last question right as he pushed send. It sounded so bitter in his head now. It was a dating app after all and she was a good looking young woman.

you there?

...

hello?

busy flirting with your other matches, huh?

And there it was all about to end, the hot topic of his whereabouts. And the swift and cruel rejection that followed. It had already happened one too many times! Could he go through his again? Was it worth it? His palms were sweaty, but he never felt so cold. If the ground could just open up and swallow him whole before she finished asking... 

No, sorry

Just a little surprised we matched

you can unmatch if you want

Well, what I want is to talk with you 😊

Your profile caught my eye

what part?

Your profile pic at first.

Most guys can't pull off the broken, deep and scowling thing

But... looks good on you.

you don't look so bad yourself-

but then I read your description...

and I have to know something

shoot 🙄

It was a simple Yes/No question, but it took Kate way to long to answer. She bit her lip, thinking hard on the possibilities. It was such an unfair question though. She was not going to leave, but was not going to pursue anything with him until she knew what he was in for and how long he was going to be locked up. She'd wasted enough years waiting up on others... 

I'm just a little confused 🤔

Are you really in jail?

you gonna leave if I say yes?

It really depends...

A bittersweet smile spread on his lips. What was he expecting from a girl like her? She probably had a nice job, a supporting family and tons of friends and... an actual future. Why would she even consider wasting her time with him? The little time he had left... Better to just pull off the band aid!

She felt to bad! She hadn't meant to disregard his feelings, but wasn't it fair to let her know what she was getting into? She didn't even know what he was expecting from the conversation they were having... She was curious, but she didn’t want to lead him on.

okay, let's just say...

the orange pants and barbed wire are real

OMG

I have so mane questions 😱

here we go...

What did you do?

Wait, where do you even hide your phone?

STOP!

enough with the interrogation, alright?

I'm just curious...

sure, but i'm more than just a prisoner

a little respect goes a long way

Kate’s heart sank. He was hot, but the prison was a serious issue... She supposed people were not lining up to get to know him. He seemed pretty well rounded and mannered, but he was very defensive about his crime. Did that mean it was something really bad? But he was on a dating app... so maybe he was getting out soon? 

You're right!

I'm so sorry 😓

Let's change the subject

Why don't you tell me what you're looking for

hmmm

What?

i'm thinking...

nobody's really asked me that before

Seriously?

most people stop talking to me when they find out i'm locked up

i don't really blame them. i'm rough around the edges.

She didn't say anything for a while and Damien started wondering if he should just close the damn phone and leave. He should also probably take a break from Lovelink after this... it clearly wasn't doing him any good. Dark thoughts swarmed his mind and he had to close his eyes and head his head back against the bookshelf to get rid of the harrowing feeling. Like he was falling in an endless pit...  

The screen showed him typing and deleting several responses. Kate pursed her lips, impatient. Had she said anything wrong? She’d never spoken to someone who’d been locked up, she was still unsure what could trigger painful memories, or just remind him that he was... not free. But he said he just wanted to chat and his profile mentioned 'deep conversations'... 

Okay, I'm not running away, for now

but...

But I can't really make up my mind

If I don't know anything about you

So...

alright

honestly I'm just looking to talk to someone from the outside

it can get pretty boring in here, just waiting around the clock

Let's be friends then 😊

I'll be your window to the outside world

If that's alright with you...?

Damien sighed on the other end. Beggars can’t be choosers. It was a step in the right direction though. Maybe he was not going to find the love of his life at the very fucking end of said life. He was not living in some fairytale! He was still going to die, alone and forgotten.

But maybe... just a little less alone at the very end of his road. One friend meant more than none and maybe, just maybe... he could tell her his side of the story. Eventually. She seemed patient and understanding enough. Let at least one person out there know he did not murder his own father. 

sure

that's more than most

Of course a pretty thing like her got a lot on attention... She was only chatting up with him because the others were offline- 

but it must have been pretty bad to be such a long sentence

you still can't tell me what the crime was?

look, i've been making my own rules my whole life

you better ask what crimes I DIDN'T do

wow...

i'm no bragging or anything, just letting you know where I'm at

anyways, I'm more interested in what you're all about

what are you doing on an app like this?

Honestly...

I was about to uninstall it right before we matched 😅

Oh

you already found the one?

or no luck at all?

Well, I went on a few nice dates...

i see

Suddenly his experience on the app seemed less awful. Maybe it was not the right place. Or perhaps it was just the place for a misfit like him, here with all the weirdoes and con artists. 

And then they ditched me for their exes

Just my luck 😂

Oh and I swear to god if I see one more vampire 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄

vampires?

Yeees

You wouldn't believe some of the things I saw...

OMG, one dude was actually dresses up as a centaur

I...

don't even want to ask

There's also the 'prince' scam going around

Dudes claiming to be the heirs of some  

Made up countries and asking you for money

It wasn't quite a rejection, but it still hurt a little. She already mentioned twice she was only interested in him as friends. She didn't need to spell it out every few minutes! But she was the only one... 

Met some nice people too ☺️

Actually became good friends with some

Which is nice since I just moved here

were did you come from?

Pallay 💜

you're a long way from home

I know 😢

I suppose it was getting kinda lonely

My friends and family come visit when they can

But that's not a lot...

what brought you here?

Got a really good job opportunity

But I didn't quite realize how far away I'd be

So yeah, to answer your question from before...

I'm kinda just chatting with new people

Made more friends than anything else lol

Hope that's aright with you 🤗

A smile crept on his lips. An actual, genuine smile. How long had it been since he had any reason to? God, it felt good to talk to someone! Someone who didn't know him, who didn't shout 'walking corpse' after him, didn't judge him. He almost felt like his old self. Almost. 

i'm cool with that

Great!

Looking forward to getting to know you, Damien 😄

so let's get to it

tell me about yourself

hobbies, favorite food, anything

my hobbies are always changing 🤔

I start something new every month or so

Oh, and I started volunteering at a vet lately

🐱🐶💕

With a friend I made on this app

it suits you

Hmmmmm how would you know?

We've only just met

just a hunch

I could secretly be evil 😈

you couldn't hurt a fly

besides, I've seen evil and believe me

you're not it

I'm guessing you're not going to elaborate on that

Are you?

see, you know me so well already

Smartass 😝

 At lest until she finds out.

And I love food 🤤

Who doesn't? lol

But picking a favorite is like... impossible

I do have one hell of a sweet tooth  🍫🍬🍦

I'm soooo jealous

I miss making my own meals

That's right! You probably just have a cafeteria.

I'm so sorry 😓

it's cool

i'm glad we have something in common

Is there any food you miss?

Wait... was there even steak in that picture? Kate felt her ears burning, the fluffy pajamas studently itching at her skin.

just makin my own in general, being in charge in the kitchen

Damien scrolled quickly through his phone, the memories leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He nearly didn’t send the photo. It felt like so long ago, a different time...a different person. But it felt so good to remember! To be reminded of the more happier moments when he had all his life ahead of him! And showing her a piece of his past may make her curious enough to stick around for a while longer.

He hit Send.

-Tap to download photo-

Oh

Looks... delicious

you like steak? 

Oh yeah, the food 😳

Wish I could have a bite of that hahaha

So not so shy and innocent as she claimed. Good to know. Even if it didn’t lead anywhere, which he had to be realistic about - he was on death row after all - it was still fun. The most fun he’d had in a long while. It felt...nice.

HA!

i wish you could too 😏

The door of the library swung open hitting the opposite wall. The guard in charge could be heard arguing with someone. At least four voices. He had to move fast.

I'm really hungry now 😅

good

Kate stared at the screen, the little green light besides his profile picture going grey. She scrolled through the conversation as if to make sure she hadn’t just imagined it. She tapped the picture he’d sent, a small smile creeping on her lips. He looked so... normal. Well, more like smoking hot, but she expected some kind of dump, or some greasy repair shop, not Greek sculpture level abs. The boy should come with a warning! She was a sucker for bad boys, but had she gotten so bad that she was now considering a fucking convict? What if he was a murderer or something??

shit!

???

someone's coming

gotta hide my phone

talk soon

Be careful! 🙏🏻

Her ice cream, forgotten on the coffee table, had turned to soup.

What had she gotten herself into?

[moistmailman]

Paper Cut

Pyrrha, reading a book: Hmm, that's interesting.

Jaune: What?

Pyrrha: It says right here that- ouch!

Jaune: What's wrong?

Pyrrha: Nothing. I just got a paper cut. See? *Shows him her bleeding finger*

Jaune, standing quickly: Jesus fucking Christ!

Pyrrha, taken back: W-what?

Jaune: GUYS! GUYS WAKE UP!

Nora, sleepily: Huh? Where's the fire?

Ren: Please tell me that this is a good reason to be waking me up.

Jaune: PYRRHA'S BLEEDING!

Nora/Ren: SHE'S WHAT!?

Pyrrha: What? Guys he's overreacting, it's only a small paper cut. See? *shows them her bloodied finger*

Ren: My God.

Nora: Holy shit!

Pyrrha: W-what?

Jaune, quickly approaching Pyrrha: NORA, GO GET SOME BANDAGES WHILE I KEEP PRESSURE ON THE WOUND! REN, GET SOME ALCOHOL TO DISINFECT THE CUT!

Pyrrha: Guys seriously, I'm fi-

Ren/Nora: Yes sir! *Quickly leaves the room*

Pyrrha: Wait guys! Go back to bed! You look exhaust- oh what's the point? They're gone already.

Jaune, looking Pyrrha dead in the eyes: Pyrrha, don't worry about anything, we'll get through this together.

Pyrrha: Don't worry? Jaune, you're the one who's worried. You guys are acting as if I'm about to lose my hand from blood loss.

Jaune, terrified: Oh my God, I just realized that might be a possibility.

Pyrrha: W-what? No! God no! I was making a joke. I'm not going to lose a hand.

Jaune, tearfully hugging Pyrrha: You damn right you won't, cause we're going to prevent that.

Pyrrha: Jaune, regardless of you helping me or not, I won't lose a ha-

Jaune: My God, where is Nora and Ren?! Damn it, this is an emergency!

Pyrrha: It's really not.

*Nora and Ren quickly runs in*

Jaune: It's about time, where were you two?

Ren: They won't give me alcohol cause I'm a minor.

Nora: And the nurses ran out of band-aids.

Jaune, wailing: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! PYRRHA'S GOING TO LOSE HER HAND!

Pyrrha: I'm not going to lose my han-

Nora: Oh God! The wound had gotten worse?!

Pyrrha: It wasn't even bad in the first pla-

Jaune, crying: YES! JUST LOOK AT HER SKIN! IT'S SO PALE! SHE'S LOSING SO MUCH BLOOD RIGHT NOW!

Pyrrha: I'm always pale! This is my natural skin colo-

Nora: WAIT! I HAVE AN IDEA! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK! *Runs out of the room*

Jaune: NORA?! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! NORA?!

Ren, slapping Jaune: Look, we need to calm down! Us screaming won't solve anything!

Pyrrha: There's nothing to solve!

Jaune: Ren's right! Screaming won't do anything!

Nora, running back in: I'm back!

Jaune: Where were you?!

Nora: I got help!

*Team RWBY runs into the room*

Pyrrha, grimacing: Oh no.

Yang: PYRRHA'S BLEEDING OUT!?

Pyrrha, groaning: No, it's just a paper cut! Look. *Shows them her paper cut*

Ruby: O-oh God! This is a code red!

Pyrrha, repeatedly shaking her head: No no no! Not you guys too.

Yang: WE GOT A CODE RED GUYS! A CODE RED! WE'VE TRAINED FOR THIS!

Pyrrha: You've what?!

Ruby, taking off her cloak: Here! Let me use this to cover the wound!

Pyrrha: But Ruby, you love this cloak! You're going to get blood on it!

Ruby: HUSH, YOU SELFLESS WOMAN!

Pyrrha: What?

Blake, comfortingly rubbing Pyrrha's back: Don't worry Pyrrha, you aren't going to die.

Pyrrha: Yes, I know tha-

Weiss: Just take deep breaths! Okay?! Just try to calm down!

Pyrrha: I am perfectly calm!

Jaune: GUYS! I CALLED THE NURSE! SHE'S ON HER WAY!

Pyrrha: You've what?! No Jaune! You're wasting the nurse's time! She has other students that actually needs hel-

Nurse, busting through the door: WHERE'S THE DYING GIRL?!

Pyrrha, groaning: How did this even happen?

Jaune, pointing at Pyrrha: SHE'S RIGHT THERE MA'AM!

Nurse:............the.......the one with the paper cut?

Jaune: Yes!

Nurse:........are you guys serious?

Pyrrha: Oh thank God!

Jaune: WHAT DO YOU MEAN? LOOK AT HER? SHE'S DYING! HELP MY PARTNER, PLEASE!

Nurse, sighing: I-.........just let me see your finger, missy.

*Pyrrha presents her finger*

Pyrrha, sarcastically: Be honest with me, am I going to lose my hand?

Nurse: No, you'll be fine.

Yang: Are you sure?!

Nurse: Yes.

Ruby: How sure?

Nurse: Very.

Blake: How do we know if you're even a real nurse?

Nurse: I don't have time for this. I'm leaving.

Ruby: I KNEW SHE WAS A FAKE!

Yang: WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

Jaune: I'M CALLING A REAL DOCTOR RIGHT NOW!

Pyrrha: NO DON'T!

Weiss:..........wait a minute, guys.

Everyone: ???

Weiss: Jaune, can't you heal Pyrrha with your semblance?

*A very awkward silence fills the room*

Jaune: SHE'S GOING TO LIVE!

*Everyone cheers*

Pyrrha, sighing: Oh my God.