#and they just write off any gender nonconformity as just normal gay guy stuff

[m0thkiller]

tbh im kinda surprised that nobody at work has picked up that in trans yet. Theres a small group who *knows*, but only because I specifically sought them out and told them. ive stopped going braless because now it just feels immodest walking in with c cups in a tight black t shirt. and yet nobody is any the wiser SOMEHOW. not one person has been like "yeah yknow i think somethings up with that [Jade] guy, always hanging around the womenfolk and using exclusively the unisex bathroom and sitting with his legs kicked up."

i had a suspicion they all knew and i was just clueless but one guy i told was like

"oh yeah i clocked you basically the second i met you"

"wait what for real?"

"yeah i was like 'Yup hes gay for sure'"

[hekatekun]

obsessed w ccckk, todo's characterization feels so sharp and visceral and the tension with atsd just feels so palpable auuugh 💆‍♂️💆‍♂️. its worse than hatesex its like a blowjob but the cock is laced with cyanide. im looking forward to the next chapter :3

anyways for my yaoiful question i think you mentioned b4 what attracted atsushi to todomatsu but im curious what attracts todomatsu to atsushi? also how would you say todos impression of him shifted since. (gestures vaguely)

Kyaaaaa thank you 🙈 always happy to write about the cock that kills

In my mind palace todomatsu is a spiteful gayboy who's into fat guys. Idk how gay culture is in Japan but I can imagine fatphobia runs rampant similarly to how American gay men operate. There's being fat and then there's "gay fat" among skinny gay cruisers. Todomatsu doesn't know anything about this scene (but who's to say Atsushi doesn't?) but operates in a fatphobic society and has enough wherewithal (shame) to hide this fetish. This is based on his actual kink with belly buttons coupled with the weird incestuous sumo camp skit in s3 where todomatsu is undeniably horny about those sumo wrestlers. I'm sure you could interpret it as a different reaction but ultimately the joke of that skit was that he was a raging sissy who didn't wanna conventionally engage with a tradition that is seen as an exclusively masculine ritual. But i digress.

There have been enough scenes where, if todomatsu is given attention, particularly in a comedic light, it's to be the butt of a homophobic/misogynistic/transmisogynistic joke. However, it's real. It's a consistent theme exclusive to his character, separate of any of the others. He's scared of marrying and settling with kids maybe the most of any of them. If we can assume that he genuinely likes his gender nonconformity on some level beyond the home theater improv the brothers perform, that there is a conflict.

If, let's say, the lattice of coincidence connecting society manages to introduce you to someone new who's giving you relatively positive attention in all the right ways that feel real in the way that's Just Yours Alone like the other stuff. The other stuff that flagged you to receive positive attention from a normal guy who just so happens to be bigger. Who just so happens to have better living conditions, with hobbies and friends. There's conflict in an acquaintanceship that gives you everything you want, like a path of least resistance that gels well with your depressed dopamine seeking brain and your terrible terrible terrible impulse control.

Danger lurks in the abyss between stranger normie kinda lame acquaintance to friend with complex thoughts and feelings that are achingly familiar without ever really being spoken on pipeline. Reacting to the positive attention positively means you have bypassed the first checkpoint (does this twink on the brink of twink death fuck with fatties?). You went from envying what you don't have, to basking in what was thrown at you like a dog living off treats, to then having to face the consequences of your terrible impulsive usual intoxicated actions. accepting something as real means having to care about it in a way you aren't familiar with needing to do.

Real is filling in blanks that contradict your highly specific narrative that exists only in your head because you plotted out your life, sick of being an NPC in your own life. Except now it's out of your control and has consequences like taking away the free dopamine machine. Maybe that's when love eclipses fun?