#and they fuck nasty during it. ofc. that's implied.

[necrotic-nephilim]

in my mind brudick marriage happens almost byaccident: after bruce “dies” dick is left alone and without access to damian or the manor or funds as he was never adopted and is only a former ward, so in dicks grieving mind the clearest way forward is to forge a secret but technically legal marriage, bruce doesn’t find out for years after he comes back, damian knew why he was in custody with richard and assumed it was common knowledge that no one ever brought up, alfred just lets this all play out even knowing that bruce did have a clause in his will to protect dick incase of death (plans upon plans), bruce was upset in all the ways bruce would deny his feelings

this is SUCH a good thought oh my god-

first of all, i am kissing you on the mouth for adding morally fucked up Alfred who just *lets* this play out. he could easily intervene and he *should*, but the idea that he doesn't because for some reason he thinks this is for the best is *such* good food. i love the thought that Alfred knows about unresolved BruDick feelings and feels in Bruce's death, Bruce at least deserves the one thing he never allowed himself to have in life: Dick's hand in marriage. and Dick is so deep in denial and just trying to legally keep hold of Damian and Wayne Enterprises. it's such a stupid last ditch effort and he doesn't even expect it to *work* but it does. Dick is able to keep it under wraps with only a few lawyers and WE higher ups knowing, the public assumes Bruce naturally left everything to Dick bc why wouldn't he? Dick is his eldest ward, after all. Damian knows bc he sees all the papers concerning Dick having his legal guardianship and he just shrugs it off because really, his father's relationship with Dick is none of his business.

and of course, when Bruce comes up there are so many *other* things to handle that Dick just doesn't think to mention it. he's not willingly withholding the information and Bruce assumes Dick *knew* about the contingencies Bruce set up for his death so he doesn't question Dick having all this control. it's not until years later when one of his WE lawyers passingly mentions "oh you might need your husband to sign off on this too" and Bruce is like. i'm sorry my *what*. because he knows the Batfam got up to some chaotic things trying to keep his death a secret, but no one mentioned a *husband*. so Bruce checks the paperwork and is going through every single stage of grief because *did no one think to tell him he's legally married to Dick.* Bruce demands answers and Dick has to awkwardly explain the whole thing to a baffled Bruce who just asks why Dick didn't *check Bruce's files* for this. (maybe Dick didn't think to, maybe Alfred deleted them, who's to say) Bruce wants to be mad at Dick, mostly for not telling Bruce. but all his unspoken feelings make it *very* difficult to figure out what to do. especially when Dick offers to quietly get a divorce since enow the marriage isn't needed and Bruce's *gut* reaction is to blurt out no, no no let's not do that. and he can't explain why he's so against it without admitting how badly he wants to be married to Dick even amidst the worst of his feelings.

it takes them months to actually *talk* about it, and tbh it's probably Damian's assumptions about their relationship that make them face it. bc to Damian the mutual feelings are obvious and the marriage is known so yes of course, Bruce and Dick are in love and together what's so difficult to understand about this, it's no one's business but their own. (i especially love the idea of Damian chastises other characters like Tim for trying to ask questions because doesn't Tim know romance for Bruce is a very private affair and it's *wildly* disrespectful of Tim to think he has the right to know these things.) and so when Damian makes a passing comment about their relationship and Bruce and Dick share a mortified look, they realize they have to talk about it. and instead of ending on clearing the air, they accidentally confess feelings for one another. it's stilted and painful, but they manage to agree maybe they can keep the marriage going. and maybe they don't have to correct Damian.

(also, this is a side thought but: i think a lot about how Tommy Elliot was made to pretend to be Bruce while Bruce was dead and all that fun, and i think it's fun if Tommy knows about the marriage bc he helped Dick sign off on it. and Tommy tries to force Dick into a relationship with him to "maintain the facade" and Dick rejects the advances, maybe Tommy even forces himself on Dick once or twice. it doesn't go too far and they get Tommy back under control, but it's clear Tommy's annoyed when Bruce comes back and he doesn't get to "have his fun" anymore. also fun if Bruce finds out about this and is *furious* bc not only did he not know he's married to Dick, but it was *Tommy* who got to have Dick as a husband before Bruce did and now he's jealous and pissed about the whole thing. just a fun little aside thought bc i wish the fandom had more fun with Tommy's era of pretending to be Bruce.)

[katzske]

EARTHSPARK SPOILERS ABOVE AND BELOW!

For a kids show, I'm glad that they're able to touch upon serious topics like the effect war has on individuals and, in this case, species. I think TFA is the only notable TF show that wiggled its finger and made clear yo these are fucking aliens. But even there it felt one sided, as in, robots finding organics gross.

In TFE, you get so many perspectives on the Cybertron- human relationship and I love is so much. You have people who embrace it and accept each others differences. You have those who have internalized xenophobia but don't notice. People who don't care and just wanna be themselves and live in peace. And those who outright HATE the other species.

Visuals: the first half had its animation mainly focused on action. and while there is still action here, the conclusion of the season offers a lot of cinematic shots which tbh kinda took out of the immersion but are awesome screenshot material. it gets really dark as well, and there is a shot with Bee that stood out to me, where he's hanging from a ceiling, and his expression is full of fear. It was grand.

Audio: You still have the same synth wave music (which I like) but you also get some amazing sound designs for animal based alt modes, like Grimlock and Tarantulas. Nightshade unfortunately has this repetitive sound playing whenever they fly, (hawk screech) since they don't have a motor IG??

Characters: The viewer will be introduced to Hashtag, Jawbreaker and Nightshade. They have distinct abilities and personalities. (By now, I can already tell that my favorite Terrans are Nightshade, Jawbreaker and Twitch lol). They're interesting characters and their dedicated episodes were quite entertaining.

The most notable new characters who actually have their dedicated episodes and voice lines are Shockwave and Tara. Shockwave, as you can see from my memes, is a raging classist and racist. He's pure evil. But I really enjoy him because he's so smug. Imagine TFA Shock's smugness but in higher dosage. I fucking love it. HIS VOICE HAS SO MUCH RANGE. reminds me of an evil DJ subatomic supernova. His eye also reminds me of shin godzilla's... an unrelenting blank stare, unnaturally wide. Tarantulas on the other hand takes a much different spin than his BW counterpart. I think he joined the cons and stuck with them is because he wanted equality for all (during a short convo between Megs and Shock it's implied that it was their original goal). He's sick of the war and just wants to survive. He wants to be himself. He does these typical cinema spider noises like hisses, or gargles in his alt mode BUT OH BOY in his robot mode he's one fine fella. And his voice. chef kiss. i think it's British, but can't pinpoint what region.

Plot: Earthspark is gonna build upon the concept which TFP poorly introduced: A villan human faction. TFE is building upon and further fleshing out what they tried to do with M.E.C.H. The execution so far looks very promising.

They have taken their time to introduce G.H.O.S.T for a whole season, and put a bit of effort into showing that the organization is made out of individuals who have different motivations.

Their official motivation is understandable. The "good guys" wanna protect civilians from threats, like bots who break shit. But ofc there are some nasty people in the ranks who are lowkey masochists lol

Also, since Cybertronians are known to the public, it deepens the complexity of the conflict. Xenophobia against Cybertronians ranges from this cooperation to just regular people, who are mad that their planet was turned into a battle ground.

[chiangyorange]

Soda stabby <3

THE WRETCHED SODA.

(v excerpts taken from chapter 6 v)

sherlockcorn: explody sody Bootyyyshaker9000: … Bootyyyshaker9000: I hate how compelling that argument is. sherlockcorn: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sherlockcorn: its finally time for that nasty cough syrup elixir to perish

first of all; they are teens, theyre gonna do stupid meaningless shit sometimes and it means SO much to me. ALSO!! presenting this implies that this isnt the first time they exploded sodas!

sherlockcorn: then i saw a pack of 12 mini bottles with a cute little cherries on them and i had to try them cause u know chchchchchcherry bomb i had to

april is gay cherry bomb is my reference to show that she is gay. thats it thats all i have to say on this.

sherlockcorn: they were cheap for a reason ig and now ive just been waiting for an excuse to get rid of them sherlockcorn: they haunt my dorm sherlockcorn: so now they DIE

april had been HAUNTED by these sodas and ofc, like any friend group, when you discover the most heinous shit ever, you make it everyone else's problem too to share the burden of knowledge.

then the actual sodie splosions

NeonLeon: [video description: Mikey is seen standing away from the camera in a darkly lit parking lot at night. He is holding his arms up and behind him with a bottle of soda in his hands. Leo’s voice is heard, “Okay go!” Mikey throws the soda down hard on the concrete. It bounces two times before the neck of the bottle breaks and soda burst out of it, making the bottle spin more times. Surprised shouts are heard when the bottle spins towards the camera. /end video description]

leo has always been mikey's hypeman and its SO endearing to me. THATS HIS LITTLE BROTHER!!!!! HE CARES ABT HIM SO MUCH!!!!! and gah. GAH. when the older sibling lets you do something cool instead of them that literally means the fucking world are you kidding me?

esp with how much mikey looks up to leo, this moment is saying "i am good enough to do this dumb stupid shit because if i do thisi dumb stupid shit im more like my brother and i love my brother"

ILL CRYYYYYYYY

green2: A story in 3 pics green2: [image id: A picture of the same dark parking lot from the previous video. In the dark, two eyes are seen reflected from the distance. /end id] green2: [image id: An open soda bottle is thrown at the eyes, the liquid visibly spilling out of the neck. The picture is blurry with motion. /end id] green2: [image id: Leonardo is standing in the view of the camera with eyes closed. There is soda splashed on his face, neck, and shoulders. /end id] 

fleo unintentionally scaring the kids and being immediately punished by having soda thrown on him is fucking hilarious to me but other than that, he was checking up on them!

its late at night and while splinter is used to the late night teenage shenanigans, fleo ISNT. casey jr is a good boy and i dont rlly personally imagine him as being the type to go out alone and fuck around during the apocalypse, and its a habit the present teens are trying to slowly break out of him.

so obviously, fleo would kiiiiinda get worried about where the teens were so late at night and went out to check on them after asking splints and checking on casey sleeping in the lair

Bootyyyshaker9000: [video description: Leonardo is sitting down with April standing in front of him opening a 16 ounce soda bottle. April says, “Smell first.” and offers the bottle to Leonardo. He takes the bottle in hand and sniffs, immediately backing away with a scrunched face.  “That is not soda, this is a chemical.” he replies. April faces the camera and looks off screen with a pointed look while Leonardo pauses and takes a tentative sip while she is turned away. Leonardo sputters and coughs, doubling over himself. The bottle crushes in his hands and the soda spills all over the concrete. April backs away quickly with a yelp. /end video description]

fleo is still a leo and hes not immune to getting stupid ideas.

sherlockcorn: [image id: a pocket knife is stabbed through a soda bottle right through the middle. The soda inside is leaking out. Donnie is seen in the background looking at something off camera with a soda in hand. /end id] sherlockcorn: nasty soda die <3

sometimes people dont write april unhinged enough and im personally fixing that /lh

no but fr this is a girl who canonically has a canoe and hazmat suit ON HAND. IN NEW YORK.

queen shit

i love her so much she means the world to me. blunt weapon wielders hold a special place in my heart and they just hit different. LITERALLY!!!!!

[bakusdumptruck]

Dabi Headcannons

hello :3 i hope you enjoyed your day today :) bUT ANYWAY here are some best friend Dabi headcannons!! also it’s a quirkless au so instead of his scars he has hella tats and piercings :)))

.

.

.

Warnings: cussing, implied sexual themes (barely), nudity, marijuana, sexual assult

I tried to make this as gender neutral as possible! 

Ouuuu I hope you all are ready for this shit 

SO you and emo boy have been best friends since kindergarten 

After meeting, the two of you basically grew up with each other and were inseparable 

Throughout middle school and high school every one thought you both were dating since you’re together ALL THE TIME. 

Don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say all the time

You’d drive to school together, have the same classes, sit with each other at lunch, then go home together. 

Biittcchhhh you’d even have detention together

But anywayyyyyyy time skip to college days 

OFC you and Dabi are roommates

Living together was a ✨d r e a m✨

You both planned days where some of your other friends would come over and everyone would drink, smoke, and hangout 

During these hang outs tho Dabi would keep a close eye on you 

Baby boy is possessive. Even if you two aren’t dating you’re his and his only 😡no one can lay their eyes on you or even BREATHE near you... unless he trusted them 

Ouu bubs one day yall threw a party, invited all your friends and told them to invite who ever the fuck they wanted 

Bad idea 🤩

As you were sitting on the couch talking to a couple of close friends, a drunk fucker came up to you and got all up in your space

Baby you are a BAD BITCH, but you were too high and drunk to function at the moment 

The bastard came up to you reeking of booze and weed. The mf could barely stand and crashed on the couch next to you 

They started hitting on you and touching up on you without consent

hah. The fucker was boutta die. Dabi was watching the whole time.

(sorry the next part might be bad, but im trying :’-))

“Heyyyyyy babyyyy you lookin real scrumptious tonight” 

you and all your friends looked at him like 👁👄👁

“W-what are you doing here a-all hehe all by yourself?”

Normally sober you would’ve laughed in this bastards face and walked away but babes you were fucked up 

“u-uh I’m not here by myself silly hehe, my friends are sitting right in front of me”

Your friends already saw Dabi watching so they decided to just let the scene unfold, unless something bad happened before he could get to you

“Hmmm I don’t see anyone. How bout me and you go find a room and h-have some f-freaky time” *mf squeezes your thigh*

“E-excuse me I d-didn’t say you c-could touch me”

oop Dabi’s getting closer 

“C’mon baabbeeeee, just a little fuck won’t hurt 🥴I mean you’re dressed up like that so you must be asking for it. s-stop being a t-tease”

uh-ohhh they invaded your nono square 

“G-GET THE FUCK OFF ME”

you may be wondering what your friends are doing, but keep reading sweetie. I promise you’ll love it 🤩

“Stop being such a b-” WHAACKKKKK BOOM BOOMM

You best believe Dabi hit the fucker straight across the head with an empty bottle 

But thats not the only thing he did uh-uh nooppeee

Dabi pushed the fucker off of you, kicked their no no square, then quite literally threw them out of the apartment

After that situation he kicked everyone out 

During the whole thing you were still on the couch in a daze thinking about what happened and lowkey trying to bring yourself back to earth

When Dabi had everyone out and finished cleaning he went to you to see if the bitch did any damage before he got to you

“Hey bub (yes he calls you bub fight me) are you doing all right?”

You stared in his eyes and said 

“You’re pretty ya know that?”

He chuckled and carried you bridal style to bed

“You must be fucked up if you’re complimenting me so easy”

“It’s only the truth bitch 😤”

The next morning you woke up with a deadly fucking headache not remembering anything that occurred the night before.

Turning over you caught Dabi staring at you

“👁👅👁”

“fuCKING SHIT DABI WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT ME LIKE THAT”

He rolled off the bed laughing his ass off 

After his little episode he got you some medicine and food 

Baby, after yesterday you felt nasty as fuck

you smelled like a whole frat party, so ofc you decided to shower

Dabi insisted on showering with you just in case your headache came back and caused you to “slip and split your head open” 

He convinced you and its not like you two haven’t seen each other naked anyway or messed around 😗

Sooooooo ya’ll step into the shower

It was pretty big so there was some space between the two of you

you’re there minding your own business washing your face until Dabi said 

“...Since when did you get that ass” 

“😃 why are you staring at my ass”

You turned your head around to see him still staring 

“It stared at me first”

He poked it. He didn’t pinch it, grab it, smack it. No. He poked it.

“Dabi... what the fuck are you doing :D”

“Sorry... it just looked soft”

After that you both switched places and his ass was on full display

Smirking to yourself you brought your hand back and-

*SMAAAACKKKKK*

He froze and turned to look at you 

“Harder.”

And thats how you both ended up a laughing screaming mess trying to hold yourselves up in the shower 😭

“D-DABI AHAHAHAH WHY THE HELL-”

“IM SORRY AHAHAH IT JUST CAME OUT AHA”

“OUT OF EVERYTHING THO- I CAN”T FUCKING BREAATHEE AHH”

“WELL- well I mean if you’re gonna smack it at least go all out 😏”

“bye 💀”

The shower lasted about an hour due to making jokes and screaming out sad music at the top of your lungs

“AANNDDD IIIIII HOLY SHIT- WILL ALWAYS-LOVE YOUUUU- OUU FUCK”

When you two got out of the shower Dabi said “pose for the camera we look hot as fuck” 

He took out his phone and opened snap

This fucker captioned the pic “Normalize showering with the homies 🥵🥶”

Theres never a dull day with this bitch. 

[labaguettegameuse]

Shadows of New York rent [spoilers-ish]

Aaaaaaaaaand i’m done with SONY (haha). I am... conflicted. I mean, don’t get me wrong, i loved that game. Again, the incredible art. Now they even added some subtle change into the emotions of some of the characters. The darker ambiance... The first time playing a Lasombra for me. But i could already tell it matches the clan very well. And the freaking soundtrack. Even better and better. Espacialy the embrace, Dakota x Julia and Julia’s them. 

At first, i was quite a bit shocked/surprise u couldn’t choose your race/clan. But again, playing a Lasombra was a nice surprise. I loved Julia. 

Now, as gameplay wise, i was a bit surprise (again) when i saw you had fewer choices to makes compared to CONY. In total, only 5 big choices maters for the endings. I was also relived to see we didn’t have to go throught : “new baby fledgeling must learn the rules and to feed” phase again. I was also very excited to see and hear more of Qadir again. I was truly happy to see some old familiar faces again. But at what cost ? Look at them... They all seem tired, destroyed, done. AGATHON MAGICALY DISAPPEAR, off screen ofc huh. What’s with these games and killing off/writting off characters off screen for fuck sake ? In the end, i didn’t even know if ma boi died. I’m watching you high regent. I’ll be watching. 

And the spirit guiding/helping Julia... if our fledgeling from the first game truly died, could it be them ? Talking about the fledgeling disappearance, i love how it impacted some characters. No matter how strong the friendship/bond was. 

Qadir for example. He told Julia he hated Arthuro’s guts. He probably had multiple reasons. But imagine him knowing or having the strong feeling that fucker he’s heavily implied with the fledgeling disapperance ? And the fact that he didn’t tell Julia... perhaps he didn’t have the courage too. Perhaps he's “mad” at himself for not being present enough for them. Perhaps he didn’t want to make the same mistake with Julia. 

Hope probably and surely knowing why these four names are on that god damn paper. I mean, what a coincidence huh ? Her remembering the fledgeling but not trusting Julia enough to talk about it. The fledgeling might have been killed, thanks to those camarilla fucks. 

Now Tamika. Look at her... 

I love how fierced she looked there. These few monts have been shit and like hell for all of them. Her loosing her brothers and sisters, probably consedering the fledgeling like such depending on the friendship/bond. Her being hunted down and to have constantly to fight against the SI. Seeing the man she loved turn into a corporate arse. I hope she’ll be okay.

Poor D’Angelo. Him and Agathon rescued my fledgeling near the end of the first game. Seeing him like that hurts me. And it also kinda hurt Qadir. Seeing how concerned he became with him. 

Being slightly suspicious when Julia talked about the paper and the names, remembering the fledgeling again. Ididn’t remember if he talked cleary about them, even if it was for just a frame. But thanks to him and KASIER, the investigation has taken an interesting turn.

For last, the one that hurt me and had me worring the most. Agathon.

With Hope, Tamika and D’Angelo,i completed at least two meetings. With Agathon, i managed to accomplish all of his side quests. When the High Regent told me he disappear too, i was like : Oh no, not again. U bet your ass i paid extreme attention to his journal. First, you learn his poor grandma died :(( She was such a sweetie. Now, when i read these lines : “It’s all vague mentions of a person who made him fly to close to sun.” / Whatever happened, it had the same effect as his grandma’s death. New York stopped feeling like a home to him”.... OOOOOOOOOF. Like, i could i now shipped them when he writes stuff like this about the fledgeling. omfg. And when i was Julia’s visions about his most recent actions... i do hope ma boi didn’t go on a personal blood hunt and try to confront that old racist fuck and Arthuro on his own.... That would hurt even more. I took great satisfaction in seeing the High Regent reaction when Julia was telling all the secrets she find about his disappearance to everybody. Shake. Tremble in fear scum. You don’t touch ma baby tremere.

About the endings, i have mixed feelings. Again. What a surprise. I’m the kind of person who always goes for the best and good/nice endings in games. And since i know Julia’s character was kinda special, i wanted to look at a guide. Like i said before, only 5 big choices matters in order to trigger your endings. I started reading some stuff, and i was quite.... unhappy. I mean, i know vampires are monsters. Espacaliy the Lasombra. And others. Anyway. I don’t like evil endings. Let just say that you have to be a dick, nasty, negative, mean etc during those five big choices. As long as you get like 4/5 “evil choices” you’ll get the “good” ending. Thank god (blow a kiss to Benoit) you don’t have to be “mean” 24/7 all the time. I was like : “Gee okay. If it’s what it takes to get the good ending...why not ?” The more choices i was doing, the more “uncomfortable” i was getting i suppose ? I’m still very confused.  

Oh boy, this is it huh ? Let’s see how the good ending is then. When Julia finally talked, i was like : “YEAH BOY EXPOSED THOSE FUCKERS ! Avenge my fledgeling’s death ! Haha look at them being threaten/fearing Julia’s.” and then.... she asks for power. I suppose it was a logical “ending” is you’re a “good” Lasombra and if you actually made those importants choices. Give her a primogen seat or else, story published etc. That moment was great but at the same time, i didn’t like it. I felt unconfortable. I’ve done “camarilla” roads before in VtmB. But this one.... oooof. And for that, you have to do something that would extremly pissed off Qadir. You know, your mentor, your protector, almost some kind of watchful father figure. You basically have to destroy that relationship. Since i liked their dynamic and Qadir a lot, it kinda made me sad. Their relation became just professional then. And that was it.

Yeah, you can thank him. Truly saved your ass. Again, i don’t mind getting my characters into power and so on. But in a good “human” way. I guess i’m too sensitive to be a Lasombra x) Or a vampire even. But anyway. Lasombra are cool tho. I was kinda agreed and okay that we let Dakota go even if i was shipping them at the beginning. But killing her off as a part of the deal... c’mon. A bit too extreme no ? But that just my opinion. Wish could have the opportunity to killed off Adelaide tho. U know, the bitch that beheaded Sophie. If there’s another game, i hope we’ll be able to find Agathon and to take down the prince, Arthuro and Adelaide. And i’m not even talking about doing it has a choosing “Camarilla/Anarchs” type. Just because i want too. Just because we could. So i went around on youtube and take a look at the “bad ending”. It... was nice. But that wasn’t even better. I mean, we still get to learn that our dearest and enigmatic Katherine is .... the childe of Christof, the protagonist of VtM Redemption. That was cool. Once again conflicted about the endings :’) Nice.

#stophurtingqadirchallenge

[crazy-little-cool-cat]

Hand in Glove - Chapter 23 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: SURPRISE, BETCHES! Nope, you’re not dreaming. This is real life. It’s not just fantasy. You’re definitely going to be caught in a landslide, though. After four months of silence, my writing juices are a-flowing and the shitstorms and clusterfucks are abundant. Hey, mystery anon. This one’s for you.

Warnings: clusterfucks. Also some mild smut. Mostly implied, nothing too graphic. Just how I like it. 

Word Count: You really don’t wanna know.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2,  Chapter 3,  Chapter 4,  Chapter 5,  Chapter 6,  Chapter 7,  Chapter 8,  Chapter 9,  Chapter 10,  Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 , Chapter 21 , Chapter 22

Ben sighed as he placed his phone on the nightstand after looking at the time for what felt like the fifth time since Annie had dozed off. He sighed and blamed his inability to sleep on jetlag, excitement and not wanting to miss a millisecond of being home.

He turned on his other side, propping his head on his hand. Sprawled on her back, Annie’s half-covered figure seemed to glow as the sun dawned. As gently as he could, he brushed a few stray locks of hair from her face, running his fingers through the silky strands. Annie stirred with a smile.

“Good morning.” She purred lazily, her eyes still closed.

“Morning.”

“Did you get any sleep?” Annie’s eyes fluttered open. Turquoise staring into emerald-green.

“Not really.” Ben cupped Annie’s cheek in his hand and pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. “Christ, I’ve even missed your morning breath.”

“Wow.” Annie scoffed. “And they say romance is dead.”

“Shut up.” Ben kissed Annie again, deeper this time. “You’re not one for romance, anyways.”

“True.” Annie smirked. Ben started to roll away, out of bed, but stopped when Annie grabbed his wrist. “Where’re you going?”

“I have to take a piss, Annie.” Ben leaned down for one more kiss. “Am I allowed?” Annie pretended to mull it over in her head, tapping her lips as she pondered. “Right, then!”

“No!” Annie whined at Ben’s receding back. “Come back.”

She watched him walk away. Every muscle in his body even more defined than it was when he left. His back, his shoulders, his bum. She got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom’s closed door, waiting to hear the flush. When she did, she dropped on her knees and waited, sitting back on her heels.

Ben opened the door after washing his hands and almost stepped on her.

“What are you doing?” He raised a curious eyebrow.

“My personal trainer said I need more protein in my diet.” Annie smiled up at him, doe-eyed.

“Oh?” Ben’s jetlagged and fucked-out brain had trouble picking up on the implication. “Oh!”

��Mhm.” Annie said, getting up from her heels and wrapping her arm around Ben’s hardening cock. “It is time for breakfast, and all…”

Ben braced himself against the door-frame, arms and legs locking him into place. He looked down at Annie and bit his bottom lip. As if on cue, Annie wrapped her lips around him, making him moan.

###

“What?” Annie barked tiredly into the phone. “What?”

“First of all, it’s great to know you’ve successfully separated yourself from Ben’s dick.” Clara sassed. “Second of all, we’re having brunch. Then, and only then, we’ll release Rory back into the wilderness.”

“Do you know what time it is?!” Annie hissed, careful not to wake up Ben after he finally fell asleep.

“Yes. Do you know what your baby thinks of the time?” Clara retorted.

“Hm.”

“Exactly. So, brunch. Us, Rami and Lucy, Joe.”

“Why can’t it be lunch?” Annie grumbled. “Like normal, unpretentious people.”

“Because we’re starving.”

“So eat something!”

“Annie, Rory woke us up at the crack of dawn! And during the night!”

“We woke up at the crack of dawn and during the night too! You don’t hear us moaning about it!”

“I’m sure the screams coming from you and the screams coming from Rory were very, very different, Annabelle.”

“You were the ones who wanted to take her so desperately!”

“Because she’s too young to be exposed to whatever crazy monkey sex you and Ben are into.”

“Oh, sit on a stick.”

“That the best you could come up with?” Clara chuckled. “He really fucked you silly, eh?”

“Can you please just -” Annie paused when she felt Ben stir and press up against her back.

“Banana?”

“I’m going to have to call you back.”

“What?”

“Something just came up.”

“Tell Ben about brunch!”

“Tell him yourself!” Annie giggled and put Clara on speaker phone. “You’re on speaker.”

“Benjamin?”

“Yes?”

“Can you extract your penis from my best friend for a hot minute?”

“No.”

“Fine. This is nasty, you know. You two should be ashamed of yourselves.”

“You’re the one listening in on this.” Annie lilted. “Shame’s exclusively on you, you plum.”

“Fine.” Clara groaned. “Listen up, hornies!” Her voice shifted from the sugary sweet tone it usually carried to surprisingly assertive. “Gwilym’s flat. One o’clock. Your husband is very excited to see you, Ben. Don’t let him down.”

Clara ended the call muttering profanities as Ben and Annie started off another round.

###

“Where is my baby?” Ben basically kicked the door to Gwilym’s flat down. “Give me my Aurora or die!” 

“Jesus, Ben!” Clara panted, clutching on to her chest, “can you not do that?” 

“Give. Me. My. Baby.” 

“She’s right here!” Lucy popped up from the floor, where she, Rory and Rami played. “Oh wow, look at you! Dashing!” 

“Rami, remember, no Peek-a-boo!” Annie called, squeezing her way in around Ben. “Not everyone can handle the eyes!” 

“Lovely to see you again, Annabelle.” Rami replied sweetly, then looked down at Rory. “Your mother is such a bitch sometimes, isn’t she?” he cooed. 

“Just protecting my child from any future trauma, Mr. Roboto.” Annie said walking over to him. “I happen to love the eyes, anyways.” 

“Aw.” Rami smiled as Annie crouched down next to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Hi lovie!” 

Rory squealed at the sight of her mum. 

“Where’s Gwil?” Ben asked. Rory tried to follow his voice with her eyes, but she couldn’t see him from where she was sitting. Ben tiptoed towards the sofa and lunged forward. “Boo!” 

“Well, she speaks dolphin.” Rami mused after Rory’s excited screeching subsided. “How does she even do that?” 

“I suspect Roger Taylor.” Ben walked around the sofa and knelt down next to his daughter. “Wanna come to me?” 

Rory waved her hands and babbled. Ben smiled warmly as he picked his daughter up from the floor.

The front door flew open, revealing Joe standing with his hands on his hips, pretending to be superman. 

“I have arrived!” 

“Yes. The entire building can tell.” Rami rolled his eyes.

###

“This is awkward.”

Lucy, Annie, Rami and Clara exchanged nervous glances.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, you know.” Clara put her hand on top of Joe’s. “I was just making a joke.”

“The hell you were!” Gwilym snapped. “Ben and I are basically a married couple.”

“Uh, the duck you are!” Joe dropped his fork. “I’m Ben’s husband. Everybody knows. An entire production team knows!”

“You bellends are fighting over my boyfriend.” Annie chimed in. “That’s really weird.”

“Better fight over him than over you than have him fight me over you…” Joe muttered.

“What was that?” Annie challenged.

“I said that’s it’s better if Gwil and I fight over him than having to fight Ben over you.”

“What… the fuck?” Rami looked as if he was watching a tennis match before Gwilym smacked him gently on the back of his head for using foul language. “Sorry! Sorry! What the duck?”

“What, you don’t know?” Joe smiled devilishly. “Since we’ve turned this into an Italian let’s-air-out-our-dirty-laundry-over-food thing…”

“Joseph, no.” Gwilym, Ben and Annie said simultaneously.

“Joseph, please continue.” Lucy said and wiped her fingers on her napkin. “We’re all ears.”

“You’re keeping secrets from me?” Rami was baffled. “Wow. Just… wow.”

“Oh, for crying out loud, it’s not that deep, alright?” Clara groaned. “Joe and Annie got drunk and almost kissed, as Joe and Annie usually do. End of story.”

“Again?!” Rami and Lucy choired.

“Seriously, dude, what the fu-” Rami stopped himself when Annie glared at him, “-duck?!”

“I don’t know, okay? She’s all over me!” Joe raised his hands in defeat. “I can’t really blame her, can’t I?”

“What?” Annie scoffed and took a sip of her water.

“Did I stutter?”

“No, I just couldn’t hear you while you dumped garbage out of your mouth there, for a second.” Annie replied calmly.

“Really, though, you two need to stop.” Rami pointed at the two. “This is not normal.”

“He burped right in my face.”

“That’s disgusting, Joey!” Lucy cringed.

“I could practically taste it.” Annie carried on.

“Ben? Would you like to comment?”

“No, I’m good.” Ben said and took another mouthful of food into his mouth with one hand, while feeding Rory with the other. “When did you guys get a high-chair?”

“Don’t change the subject, Benny.” Lucy quipped.

“We got one second-hand because we figured Annie and Rory will be spending some time here once we’re gone on tour.”

“Oh.”

“You know what needs to happen?” Lucy wondered aloud, swirling her wine in her glass. “You two need to just kiss and get it over and done with.”

“What?!” Annie and Joe’s voices climbed in pitch.

“How much wine did you have?” Clara’s eyebrows were so high, they merged with her hairline. “What is happening?”

“Wait, hold on.” Ben froze. “That’s actually not the worst idea.”

“What?!” Annie and Joe’s voices climbed even higher.

“Look, Rory, they speak dolphin too!” Rami joked.

“Seriously,” Lucy continued, “just kiss.”

“She lost her mind.” Annie looked at Ben, wide-eyed.

“But did she really?” Ben tilted his head. “It will take the mystery out of the equation, in a way.”

“Bloody hell.” Gwilym breathed. “They’re right.”

“Huh!?”

“Look, you two clearly want to know what kissing the other will be like.” Ben stated. “So, if you two will just go ahead and bloody do it, the tension will break.”

“I’m not kissing your husband, Ben!” Annie hissed.

“Hey!” Gwilym snapped while Joe sat with a shit-eating grin on his face for being referred to as ‘Ben’s husband’ in front of his competitor.

“Why not?” Ben shrugged.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Joe leaned forward, wide-eyed. “Ben, buddy, you’ve clearly fucked yourself insane.”

“No, I mean it.” Ben leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. “Do it. Kiss.”

“What, now?!”

“Yeah. Go on.” Ben nodded. “Do it.”

“Ben…” Annie started.

“Shut up and kiss my best mate, damn it.” Ben slammed his fist on the table. “It’s not like I’m asking you to kiss your cousin.”

“Gross.” Gwilym shuddered.

“Exactly.” Ben shrugged. “Come on. You wanted to do it a few days ago.”

“I was drunk!” Annie said, horrified. “Ben, you can’t be serious.”

“Oh, but I am.”

“Guys? Anyone? A little help here?” Annie pleaded. The table was silent. “Wow. Thanks.”

“Wait, so you only want to kiss me when you’re drunk?” Joe seemed to snap out of a daydream. “That’s just mean!”

“Are you saying you want to kiss me when you’re sober?” Annie challenged him. Ben bounced his knee as he waiting for an answer.

“About as much as I’d like to French Frankie after she licked her butthole.” Joe bit the inside of his cheek. “I mean, Annie’s great, but -”

“Say no more.” Ben said and got up.

“Where’s he going?”

“Oh God, did we upset him?”

“You blithering idiots!”

“Fucking hell.” Gwilym pinched the bridge of his nose. “Annie, if you say one word about using profanities around Rory, so help me God -”

“There you go!” Ben returned with two shot glasses and a bottle of vodka. “Drink up.”

###

“How are you two feeling?” Ben’s voice was exceptionally low as he lulled Annie and Joe into submission, “wanna kiss yet?”

With one arm wrapped around Joe and the other around Annie, Ben was all but a puppet master. Rory sat on Clara’s lap, nodding off, completely oblivious to the shitstorm around her.

“You’re pimping us out.” Joe slurred.

“You’re absolutely right, I am.” Ben started to close his arms, bringing the two together. “Dance, monkeys.”

“When did he become so evil?” Gwilym asked.

“Hollywood will do that to you.” Rami shrugged. “Shit happens.”

“Language!” Annie’s head snapped to look at Rami.

“She’s not drunk enough.” Lucy groaned. “And he’s getting too drunk.”

“Right, we need a plan, here.” Ben released the two. “Right, Annie, love, let’s have another drink?”

“Why just her?!” Joe whined.

“Oh, stop bleating!” Annie sighed. 

“Because Rory wants to play with her favourite uncle, is why.” Lucy intervened.

“Oh, my Josephine.”

“That’s not her name.” Annie snapped.

“She’s not yours.” Ben added.

“Eh, shut your pie holes.” Joe stumbled over to where Clara sat and plopped down on the floor. “Hey, Josie.”

“Ben, he keeps doing that!” Annie pouted while Ben poured her another drink. “What, you’re not getting one?”

“I need to drive us home, my love.”

“I can drive you.” Gwil quipped.

“And then how will you get home?” Annie looked at her cousin as if he spoke in tongues.

“Clara will pick me up.”

“I will?” Clara asked as she stood up to put Rory down for a nap.

“Look, we’re doing this, alright?” Ben looked around the room. “Team effort.”

“They’ll end up having a three-way.” Clara warned, walking away.

###

Annie sat on Ben’s lap, staring at him with a goofy smile. Her cheeks had a drunken, rosy tint to them, her eyes glazed and shiny. While she had seven shots of vodka and Joe had five, Ben had two. He had something to prove here, and he wasn’t going to let Annie get him drunk enough to forget about it. His fears were uncalled for, however. Annie was clearly blitzed at that point and would do anything he asked her to.

The group played a long, tiresome game of truth or dare to distract Joe and Annie from what the endgame was. During said game, almost everybody chose a dare, and they had to get creative. Rami had to change a poopy diaper, Gwilym tasted baby food, Lucy taught Ben how to pout like her, making Annie take more shots or glasses of wine, and this was just the tip of the iceberg.

“Banana, your turn.” Clara smiled deviously. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Hm. Not what I expected she’d say.” Clara looked like a deer in the headlights as she tried to come up with something. Anything. “Okay. Do you want more babies?”

“I want to have all the babies!” Annie declared, spreading her arms like wings. “All the cute little Ben babies.”

“We are the champions, my friends!” Ben started wailing, seemingly out of nowhere. “She is officially wasted!”

“Finally!” Lucy’s fist shot up in the air. “My God, she’s like a sailor!”

“Who’s turn is it?” Joe mumbled drunkenly.

“Yours.” Ben zeroed in on him. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare, duh.”

“I dare you to kiss Annie.” Ben said coolly. “A proper snog, please.”

Joe looked Ben in the eyes, waiting for him to say he’s just joking.

“You want me to make out with your wife?”

“Yes, please.”

“We’re not married.” Annie huffed.

“Irrelevant and even better.” Ben grinned. “Nothing to feel guilty about.”

“Hm.”

“You really want us to do this?” Joe asked.

“Yup.”

“And you won’t punch me in the face or get a divorce or -”

“We’re not married!”

“Your face is safe.” Ben reassured.

“Right. Okay.” Joe nodded to himself. He stood up and stretched his neck. “C’mere, Annie.”

“Ben?” Annie looked at him pleadingly. “Are you sure?”

“Go ahead.” He leaned in to kiss Annie. “I trust you.”

“So, how do we do this?” Annie turned to Joe.

“Well, come here.” Joe said. With a small push from Ben, Annie was on her wobbly feet and walking towards Joe. “Come on.”

Annie looked like Bambi first learning how to walk. She apprehensively approached Joe. He took her hand and pulled her to him.

The rest felt like they were watching a movie. The room fell silent. Rory was fast asleep in Gwilym’s bedroom. The only sound was the slow humdrum of the music Gwilym had playing in the background.

Annie slammed right into Joe’s chest, giggling. They started swaying to the music. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.

“Are they dancing?” Clara sneered. “They’re bloody dancing!”

“Shhh!” Gwilym silenced her. “This is how he does it.”

“What?”

“Just be quiet and watch.”

With his finger hooked under her chin, Joe tilted her face up. They bumped noses and chuckled. Brushing his lips over hers, he cupped her face in both his hands and kissed her.

“Proper snog.” Ben muttered after he cleared his throat, watching his best friend cowardly kiss his girlfriend.

Joe rolled his eyes and went for it. He poked his tongue out and licked Annie’s lips, parting them. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer. As they kissed, Annie nibbled on his bottom lip gently. After a few minutes, Joe pulled away, frowning.

“For the love of all that is holy in this world, Annie, stop trying to bite my lip off will you!?”

“Well if you used a little bit more tongue, I wouldn’t have to do that!” Annie snapped back. “Honestly, this is not what I -”

Annie’s rant was cut short by Joe’s lips, kissing her with more fervour. They pulled away slowly, both frowning this time. They took a step back and stared at each other, disgusted confusion flashing in their eyes. Joe covered his mouth with his hand, turning his face away. Annie almost gagged.

“Well?”

“That was, by far, the worst kiss I’ve ever had.” Annie said, pointing at Joe.

“Christ, I felt like I’m either kissing a crocodile or an eel.”

“And there you have it, folks!” Lucy bowed victoriously.

###

“Why the fuck would you do that to me?!” Annie slammed the cupboard angrily after Ben had put Rory to sleep for the night.

Since they got home, they haven’t said a single word about Joe and Annie’s kiss. Meanwhile, Annie sobered up enough to let the reality of what happened sink in. She kissed Joe and hated it.

“Do what?” Ben feigned innocence.

“You know what you did.” Annie downed her glass of water.

“Because I love you, that’s why.” Ben sighed. “So you didn’t like the kiss, then?”

“No, I didn’t bloody like it!” She slammed the glass on the countertop. “Ben, why? Why would you do this?”

“It needed to happen.”

“I could never look him in the eye again, knowing what a horrid kisser he is!”

“Funny, he texted the same thing about you just a few minutes ago.”

“You’re an arse.”

“No, I’m a bloody genius, is what I am.” Ben puffed his chest. “Should’ve had you do that ages ago.”

“Are you joking?” Annie laughed in disbelief.

“Oh, not at all.” Ben gloated.

Annie turned around to wash the dishes and give Ben the silent treatment. Her attempts were futile. He came up behind her and engulfed her in his arms, nibbling on the shell of her ear. He could feel Annie’s breathing pick up and bent his knees, moving down to her neck. His hands slid down her sides, working their way to the waistband of her jeans.

“What are you doing?”

“Celebrating.”

“What, exactly?”

“Well, you see,” his warm breath washed over her ear, raising goosebumps all over her, “the thing is, I love the fact that you don’t want Joe.”

“I told you a million times…”

“Yes, but now I know for sure. You don’t want anyone else…” He reached over to shut the water off, “… but me.”

#########

TAGLIST:  @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @qweenly @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @justgivemethekeys  @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @rogerspoison @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

[freewheelshippin]

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices​ for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme! 

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE  

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen! 

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh 

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art? 

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans 

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao) 

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol) 

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai 

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer ) 

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out 

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u  Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.) 

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club) 

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so 

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself. 

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG 

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ??? 

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance! 

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic 

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss 

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs. 

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3) 

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...) 

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!! 

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you??? 

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss 

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!! 

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much??? 

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda) 

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too. 

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best. 

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK 

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH 

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind! 

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking ......... 

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!) 

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line! 

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.  

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough! 

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao. 

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy. 

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point ) 

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.  

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say. 

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around! 

[hcpefulmarshmallow]

Komahina

Ship Rates

NOTP || Just no || Meh || Neutral || Good Potential || Ship it || OTP || JUST FUCK ALREADY  

I spoke about this one a while ago, but there are a lot of new people since then, and I’ve refined some of my earlier points, so… *cracks knuckles*

 First of all, promise you’ll read to the end, guys. I’m not trying to hate on the ship – but I will say that it doesn’t deserve to be the go-to ship for the fandom. AAHH OKAY BEFORE YOU KILL ME, it’s not because because I think it’s worse than that. It’s because I think it’s better. 

 Komahina is treated like this inevitable thing because, to some degree, canon implies it. That ofc, the two main men, all but confirmed super duper not straight, should wind up together. But if that’s your view then, in my humble opinion, you’re missing the point. 

 I don’t base how I feel about this ship off their main character/s status, and only a very little in part off that confession scene. I think that rushing these two into a relationship misses the whole entire mark of what this could grow to be. Grow, being the key word here. 

 I don’t think we can dump these two in any old coffee shop, and expect a beautiful romance to blossom. While the attraction is there, it’s not the driving force between them. At first, it’s all about understanding and identity. Hajime just doesn’t get Nagito, but he wants to. It’s not inherently romantic, but it’s a valuable emotion nonetheless. But Nagito also frustrates him to no end, (and so say all of us). This ultimately drives Hajime to do some pretty nasty things to him. Such as abandoning him in the beginning of the second chapter, tied up and unable to eat. I’ve spoken before about how much I hated that punishment, but that was the icing on this very bitter cake for me. Also, abandoning him again during the Despair Disease thing, when Nagito said, in the only way the disease would let him, that he wanted Hajime there. Just because he said some things Haji didn’t like. Despite…having the liar’s disease. Come on, Hajime. You’re smarter than this.

 Oh, but don’t think our protag is the only idiot in this scenario. What draws Nagito to Hajime is the fact that he feels like they are very similar, which is both a compliment and an insult. It’s implied multiple times that Nagito has a way of sensing talent, so it’s very possible he sensed from the beginning that Hajime had none. In fact, he says as much outright. Being (in his own mind) an untalented nobody around wonderful, untouchable talented Ultimates is incredible for him, but also exhausting. He wants to establish some kind of interpersonal connection, and along comes someone who is actually on his level, and seems to make an effort with him. For Nagito, that’s mind-blowing. And somewhere along the line - and here, we have the best thing about this whole damn ship that everybody misses - that became more important than talent. At the end of the OVA, when Nagito wakes up, we have that adorable parallel of Haji standing over him, just like Nagito at the beginning of DR2. And Nagito recognises Izuru first - but then corrects himself to Hajime. And thereafter, despite Hajime claiming that he is both Hajime and Izuru, Nagito continues to acknowledge Hajime over, oh, the LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF TALENT. I could write a whole other post on that. In fact, I may have.

 But I digress, because Nagito pulled his fair share of bullshit, too. Aside from literally trying to kill everybody, and providing on a silver platter an opportunity for Teru to begin the killings, knowing he was the most vulnerable - Nagito repeatedly shows instances of not quite getting how his words can hurt. Which, by itself isn’t his fault, but he also shows no remorse or desire to change it, either. He’s constantly putting the consequences of his own beliefs on others, and Hajime often cops the brunt of it. You know, Protag Privilege. And pardon my own personal headcanons, but I feel as if, after the whole Neo World thing is over, Nagito will ultimately take out a lot of his guilt and frustration on Hajime, too. Who better, than the Reserve Course nobody who did what he never could, surpassed Nagito himself, who may be trash but still technically has a talent, became Ultimate Hope, survived until the end, thrived, and wasn’t drawn in to Monokuma’s trickery like he was? 

 So, yeah. This isn’t exactly what you’d call a natural relationship. Like I said in the last one of these, I’m a sucker for ships that come from individuals improving themselves personally, whether that improvement is inspired by the ship itself or not, and coming together to make a great couple. I think that a lot of their issues come from the same place of low self worth, abandonment issues, and generally just feeling like the scum of the earth. They could do one another wonders, but as we’ve seen, they can also do one another a good disservice. This isn’t an effortless ship, and it’s not a given. The attraction is there, but they would need to sort out their personal issues, and the roadblocks between them, in order to forge a functioning, healthy relationship. Attraction is good for a one-shot or two, but realistically, it can’t see a relationship through the long term. And Danganronpa is nothing if not realistic, amiright. (That was sarcasm, in case you missed it.) However, assuming they can work together and work on themselves, I do believe there is so much good they can give each other, and so much happiness they can find together. 

 This got longer than I meant for, so tl;dr: Komahina make a better, believable, genuine couple with faults and pitfalls than they do a yaoi doujin. Give the ship some credit. 

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT how beans canonically involuntarily dissociates from time to time, presumably from the trauma of her dad dying. and the narrative doesnt treat her poorly for it. the times that characters r weird or nasty about it, its clearly framed as Theyre Being Dicks To Her.

honestly actually lets talk about Beans. like yeah she has lizard eyelashes and curly hair and you could definitely argue its another example of bullshit gendered sexual dimorphism in animal animation design. whiich is fair, bc it is. but i honestly dont give a damn because shes also fucking fascinating as the titular supporting character.

shes sort of the other side of Rangos coin. she grew up super isolated, then lost the only (presumably) person she ever lived with in a really traumatic way, and now shes struggling, financially and emotionally. everyone in towns known her since she was a girl, but shes still Alone. no one helps her, no one fucking believes her about the water in the desert. they all dismiss her, even going so far as to imply she hallucinated it during a dissociative episode (fucking rude, mr merimac). shes the only one with any actual awareness of whats going on in the town.

and then..along comes mr manic pixie dream lizard. and shes the first to meet him, to see what hes really like before he puts on the whole lone ranger act. and she quickly assesses that hes 1. not from around here 2. not a real threat 3. so so annoying about it. so she ditches him the second she can. she wants nothing to do with this hawaiian shirt wearing weirdo.

rango is the main character, so ofc we see mostly through his eyes, and since she avoids him at first, we dont see too much of her in the beginning. but what we do see tells us shes a real character with her own life and backstory. shes fucking Intelligent. every fucking scene, shes the one character who isnt buying rangos facade, because she knows its an act. but shes quiet. she observes. she doesnt really think hes a big tough lone ranger, she just thinks he may be capable of the one main thing he promises to do: save their town. and shes right. her existence breaks his fourth wall. shes the only one who really sees who he was before he came to dirt.

AND AND AND. the first time rango sees her dissociate. he goes to pose with her. and is genuinely surprised when she snaps out of it again. I THINK he may have, for a moment, thought she wasnt real. that he made her up, just like he used to back in his tank. and then she moves again. and the. the next time she freezes, he kind of goes...huh. okay. so she just Does That. and after that he doesnt bat an eye, he Gets It. this is how she deals woth her trauma. okay. big deal, im currently pretending to be a clint eastwood character*. we all have weird coping mechanisms, moving on.

he still doesnt admit the full truth to her, at least not until the big reveal, but he doesnt lie to her either. he knows she knows who he really is. shes the first person he meets who treats him like a *person* and not...a character. and hes the first person She meets who doesnt just see her as "oh yea lol thats beans and shes in denial about her dad falling drunk down a mineshaft haha". rango sees Everyone as a character, but not her. he can t. in the end scene, its extremely clear he maintains the lone ranger facade around town, and that its a running theme now that beans is the one who loudly calls him out on it. *and he aknowledges it.*

my point being, beans is the only other character besides rango that is self aware. (im not counting the owl mariachi band bc i think theyre just...a hallucination of rangos, for comedic relief.) which makes her the most important supporting character. without this character we wouldn't have the same story.

*also can we talk about the clint eastwood cameo

god im going insane about Rango again

why does his shirt change patterns with his scales in the scene where hes camouflaging himself from the hawk unless the shirt isnt real. why. because if the shirt isnt real then none of the clothes are real. neither is the glass of water he has in the beginning. clearly not, bc theyre in obvious contrast to the awkwardly overlarge human items that were purposefully put into his tank- the barbie torso, the windup toy, the toothpick sword.

so if all the items that are to scale for him arent real, theyre just figments of his imagination as he struggled to cope with isolation via the fantasy that hes an actor..what about the town? what about the other characters? is he just fully imagining them too? are they real, but theyre all just normal animals in the desert and hes just continuing his wild west fantasy because hes ultimately a very lonely lizard?8 why are nome of the animals really to scale? why is there a random animal from madacasgar? do wild west towns just...have exchange students?? how does a poorly taken care of pet chameleon know what any of this is? how does Rango have a maiden name if he isnt trans??? why the Fuck did his owners think it was a good idea to strap a 5gal fish tank containing a live chameleon onto the back of a van going 90mph through death valley. why is the golf scene with the villain done with live pillbugs as golf balls instead of scaled down golf balls to match the golf clubs unless its a deliberate parallel to the croquet scene with the queen of hearts in alice in wonderland. how did rattlesnake jake get a gatling gun for a tail how does it Function. how the fuck does he reload it he has no hands. why does Beans know what andromeda 5 is and why is it so heartbreaking that shes utterly convinced her father was kidnapped by aliens instead if accepting that hes dead. why do they have some items to scale like the golf clubs and the glass of water but in the campfire scene when they say pass the beans its a SINGULAR KIDNEY BEAN THE SIZE OF THEIR HEADS. are lizards really that small. is Spoons bisexual. what the fuck is even Happening with the scale. are they even Real oh god im losing my mind

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid Chapter 18

Previous: Cricket & Bunny

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, Government AgentAU

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 1.4K

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Our resident P.I. finds who she's been looking for, and gets an unwelcome surprise. 

(two shorter chapters today!) 

Harboring Hoseok

Present Day

           I found Jung Hoseok.

           Let me back track that statement – After months of digging, harassing my sister for more help, using all my contacts in various bureaus, lying to Euna that I’d made progress when I hadn’t, I finally have found Jung Hoseok, Hoseok Jung.

           I know, you’re wondering, how? What finally cracked the case? How did I, the person incapable of finding Min Yoongi, lucky enough to stumble into Park Jimin, find Jung Hoseok?

           You’ll be shocked, you’ll be amazed, you’ll be dumbfounded that I stumbled into him in the most millennial way possible, because I found him on, don’t hold your breath:

           Instagram.

           That’s right, I stumbled upon Jung Hoseok on fucking Mark Zuckerberg owned, Instagram. It was a coincidence, a twist of fate, that I was even in the vicinity of him, because we do not live in the vicinity of each other. I wasn’t sure he was even alive; I wasn’t sure if he had moved continents or countries. But, in the ether, he resides.

           Sometime after Jungkook told me he loves me, and after I created permanent scarring on his back from my too long fingernails (they’ve since been cut multiple times), I went to my favorite Barre3 studio. I’m not going to lie, I go regularly. I’m addicted. Yes, it can be cult-ish, but have you ever worked out so thoroughly your ass hurts when you stand? Or listened to a teacher relay the message that you are strong, that your body is powerful, that you can accomplish any challenge? If not, and I know this is propaganda, but like take a class. I can give you a discount.

           The point is, somewhere between sumo squats and parallel bridge lifts, I noticed this woman, stunning, who seems to come to class every day before or after she hits the gym with her trainer. The. Stamina. Can you believe? On a Wednesday, I accidentally bumped into her, spilling some of my water down her Sweaty Betty matching set. I apologized profusely, and she laughed it off, saying it cooled her down. She noticed my earrings, liked them, and ever since then we’ve been texting. We’ve even gone so far as to get coffee, which prompted me to do my favorite activity, troll her Instagram. Some people say Instagram is going the way of Facebook, which it easily could be, but it’s so damn fun that I pray every day the trend continues in its favor.

           A public figure, Genevieve Yang is the height of couture. She is at every fashion week, Milan, Paris, New York, and donates nearly as much as Kwan and Seo, combined. Leaving the spotlight to work on a smaller sect of her organization, focusing on women’s reproductive rights, specifically women in poverty, she’s rarely photographed or seen outside of said events. Instead, she works 8-5, exercises regularly and rumor has it, is vegan. She’s the eldest of three, and her siblings are a pediatric cardiologist and a Rhodes Scholar. Within the universe of the Lee’s, she’s looked down upon for being biracial, her father, a first generation Nigerian-American, fell in love with her mother, a first generation Korean American from Busan, during their study abroad stint in Italy. I’ve been dying to find a connection to the Lee’s, and here, in all her melanin glory, is Genevieve.

           In scrolling through her Instagram, I came across a photo series from a few weeks ago. To my surprise, standing with his arm around Genevieve’s shoulder, stands a man with dimples so deep and rays of sun beaming through the photo and barreling past my phone screen.

           Jung Hoseok.

           And who should be next to him?

           Lee Kwan-Min.  

           They’re in an ornate ballroom, gold ceilings and ball gowns, masquerade masks held in their manicured fingers. They’ve been drinking and dancing, as is evident in their, what Jungkook would call Asian Glow, and in the caption.

           Drink every night bc we’re drinking to our accomplishments

           A paraphrase from a Drake song, it seems to ring true as I scan through the other photos of the evening. It must’ve been Lee Enterprises semi-annual gala, masquerade theme taking turns with Gatsby or in the era of Bridgerton, Regency London. Their summer event, Polos & Picnics, is as you guessed it, a Lacoste and Perignon soaked day drinking celebration of everyone’s summer tans and Hampton houses. It’s anyone’s guess which event raises more money, or costs more to put on. Jun-Seo and Kwan-Min throw a few other smaller events, brunches and casino nights, all earnings going to their philanthropy. The galas are the hottest ticket in North America, and I am still stunned that Hoseok had made it into the embrace of Kwan-Min.

           Think Crazy Rich Asians meets the Met Ball. It’s all anyone ever wants to attend, and damn if I’m not jealous every year.

           Hoseok is tagged in the photo series, and by clicking on his name, I can see our mutual friend, and nothing more. The age-old question every millennial has to ask themselves is this, is that enough to send a follow request? I don’t know if it is, but what’s the worst that can happen? He blocks me? Alright, that gives me information that I can use. Sure following him would be the best case, but he could leave it pending for weeks.

           I send the request and text my newest friend, Genevieve Yang, who immediately calls me.

           “Oh Y/N, what do I owe the pleasure?” Genevieve asks.

           “I just thought we could chat, I was looking at your Instagram and-

           “Oh my god! Do the pics from the Masquerade look good? I can’t tell if people love them, or just tolerate them, you know?” She sips loudly on what I assume is some green smoothie, her favorite non H2O beverage.

           “Sure, absolutely, I totally know,” I lie.

           “Don’t lie to me,” Genevieve scolds.

           “They’re beautiful, but I didn’t recognize who was in that first one with you,” I bait.

           “Come off it, you absolutely know,” She laughs but I swear I can hear her rolling her eyes.

           “The woman looked familiar, but I don’t know from what,” I tell her, curiosity in my voice. “I have no clue who that man is.”

           If she could see me, she’d laugh. A barely eaten sandwich, cold coffee in a travel mug I got when I was 20, and dark circles under my eyes from my inability to sleep the last few nights. The paranoia of the last letter has seeped into my subconscious, and I can’t bring myself to sleep unless Jungkook is nearby, of which, he isn’t. Gone on a business trip for the last three nights, gone for five more. How incredibly rude of him, but there isn’t much I can do when his boss could possibly be 007 incarnate. Or Danny Trejo.

           “She’s one of the heirs to Lee Enterprises,” She tells me.

           “The Lee Enterprises?”

           “Oh so you do know?”

           “I’ve heard of them, how could you not? Their parties are exclusive, and that’s putting it generously,” I respond sipping on my own beverage. Two can play ASMR phone games, Genevieve.

           “Oh, the most exclusive, top of the line guests, one year, Beyonce performed, and the next, Adele,” She regales me, tempting me to go off topic.  

           “Are you dating that guy? He’s gorgeous,” I inquire.

           “Hoseok? No, no, not for me. I think he was going to ask Kwan out,” Genevieve says.

           “Really? A new boyfriend?”

           Scoffing loudly, “Just because she isn’t like her siblings doesn’t mean she doesn’t date.”

           “None of them have a particularly stellar track record,” I remind her.

           “Does anyone?” She breathes.

           “I suppose not,”

           “Mm, anyway, Hoseok is eying Kwan, I’m single and you’re still with that guy, who?”

           “Jungkook,”

           “Mm, I think Hoseok might know him,” She says.

           “What?” I ask.

           The thing with being a P.I. is accepting the reality that nothing is a coincidence. There are no happy accidents, nothing is considered fate. I’ve been so, blinded, by my personal connection with Jungkook to see the larger picture. What if he is part of this? Could he be conspiring with these other men? Does he know them, like they seem to be implying? How fucking blind have I been?

           “Yeah, he said something to me later, about knowing a Jungkook and wondering if they were the same. He said that it’s not a common name in Korea, so why would it be here?” Genevieve’s soft voice pulls me back from my panic attack.

           “Yeah, say, does Hoseok know a Namjoon?” I ask.

           “I don’t know, do you want me to ask?” Genevieve sets her drink down, the sound clinking through my phone.

           “Uh, no, no, that’s okay,” My hands hastily move against my keyboard, searching Hoseok’s followers for Namjoon.

           But I don’t find him.

           Instead, my blood runs cold at who I find.

Next: Codename Miss Cuttlefish, If Ya Nasty