#and they don’t have to be a couple to love each other!!!!!!!!!!!!
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roommates!gojo & geto jerking each other off while thinking abt their cute neighbor they both want soooo bad
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ ࿔
“do it harder.” geto groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as he laid back against satoru’s pillows. said man currently had his hand wrapped around his cock, albeit poorly. his hand was soft as fuck, but he was touching him like he had never touched a dick before. “jerk me off how you jerk yourself off.”
gojo snorted, his words breathy as he spoke, “what if i like it soft?” geto shook his head and curled his toes when gojo wrapped his hand around him tighter. “these walls are thin, i’ve heard you having sex and i know you don’t like it soft. those poor girls.”
gojo laughed, “they love it, i think she would love it too.” he said. geto licked his lips, starting to paint an image in his head. “what would you do to her?” he asked tentatively, his eyebrows furrowing together when gojo focused on his cock head like the bastard he was.
“mmm i think id start with fingering her.” gojo said. “i’ve seen her a couple times in the laundry room bend over in those tiny shorts—you know the ones. and her-“ he stopped talking to groan when geto stroked over a particularly sensitive vein. “they don’t cover much.”
geto nodded, seeing you bent over in his head. “you think she’s sensitive?” geto asked, cracking his eyes open to peek at gojo. his eyes were lidded and focused on the hand around his cock. geto tried not to shy away when he felt his pre cum drip into his hand. he’d never jerked anyone off before—besides himself.
“oh yeah,” gojo responded, biting his plush lip. for some reason it made geto’s mouth water. “i think… fuck, i think i could make her squirt with just my fingers.” gojo’s face was getting flushed now. it made geto want to tease him. “yeah?” he asked, squeezing his hand tighter around his shaft and relishing in his reaction when he sucked in a breath through his teeth and arched his back. “would you make her squirt all over our couch?”
gojo moaned at his filthy words and nodded, his head tipping back against the headboard. “yeah.” geto nodded, looking at his roommate even though his eyes were closed. “what would you do if i walked in when you were making her cum?” he asked, paying attention to the head of his cock.
“i-id let you suck my fingers clean.” he groaned, making geto’s balls throb at the visual. “god, she’d probably get so hot… trying to press her thighs together watching me suck your fingers.” gojo nodded, his mouth falling open in a small O.
“would you want her pussy or her ass?” geto asked, his breath coming more quickly. “ass, i know it’s so tight and warm. god. would you want her at the same time?” geto nodded despite him being unable to see. “yeah, just think about how good she would look with tears down her face trying to take us both.”
suddenly, a hand way being wrapped around his wrist. geto opened his eyes fully and watched with rapt attention as gojo cursed before his back arched. he continued stroking him, despite knowing what was gonna happen. he cringed when hot ropes of cum spilled from his dick, coating his hand and his cock and making a lewd sound from the stroking.
gojo gripped geto’s wrist to stop him, and geto pulled it away and made a face at the mess on his hand. gojo also had stopped jerking him off, just weakly holding his throbbing cock. “that did it for you huh?” he teased. gojo laughed before removing his hand from geto’s cock.
gojo crawled off the edge of the bed and bent down to grab a towel to wipe his cock clean with. geto gripped his cock and languidly started stroking, waiting for gojo to help him get off. “your turn, one minute man. come keep this fantasy going so i can blow all over your hand and pretend it’s hers.”
a cruel smile twisted on gojo’s face before he dropped the towel and zipped his pants back up. “i’m sure you can finish yourself off.” getos mouth opened in disbelief. “if you need some help, i have porn from last night still up on my laptop, feel free to check it out. it’s really good stuff.” with a wink, he left geto gaping and alone in HIS room with his stiff cock in his hand.
fucking biiiitch.
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo smut#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#geto smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru x geto suguru#satosugu smut#satosugu#suguru geto x reader#geto suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#gojo x geto#geto x gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojou x reader#satoru gojo#gojo saturo#getou suguru x reader#geto x reader#jjk geto#geto suguru#suguru geto#jujutsu geto#geto x you#.blurb
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can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 8
Or: a secret Admirer AU
PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7
“I can’t believe you let me fall asleep!” Chrissy complains, crowding into Steve’s space to desperately try to fix her hair in the mirror.
Steve snorts, unbelievably fond at the way her bangs are going every direction but down. “What am I, your mother?” he asks, fixing his own hair by standing on his tippy toes and looking over her head.
“No, but she will be killing me for this!” Chrissy cries, finally giving up on finger-combing her bangs to dunk the strands into the sink and get them wet. “Thanks for reminding me!”
“You’re bitchy in the morning,” he mutters, grimacing when she pulls her head out of the sink abruptly enough that water droplets fling from her head and onto his shirt. “Now, hurry up, we’re already late.”
She flips him off, ignoring him entirely to continue fixing her hair.
They’re both late; Chrissy doesn’t let him forget it for the rest of the day, as if it’s his fault.
“I remember when I thought you were nice,” Steve mutters, laughing helplessly when she elbows him in the side.
“You love it,” she says, smiling as they sit across from each other in their usual spot in the library, feet settling together beneath the table.
The thing is, he does. He’s always liked Chrissy, even back when she was all sunshine and rainbows, but even more so now that there’s some grit to her.
“Shut up.”
Chrissy beams, all sunshine again as she plunks her stack of books onto the table and shuffles her letter-drafting notebook to the top. Only once she’s opened to a blank page does she bite her lip, looking up at Steve through her lashes.
“Are you sure you want to keep doing this?” she asks, voice hesitant.
“What do you mean?”
She breaks eye contact, fiddling with her pen anxiously. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
Steve doesn’t tell her that he already is, that a part of him, the small, squirming part he keeps hidden in his heart, wishes he’d never done this. That watching Eddie kiss Chrissy’s hand and knowing without being told that she’s the kind of girl Eddie might want had broken something inside him. That Steve knows he could never be Eddie’s choice, and knowing that burns.
But, since the flirting started, Steve hasn’t written a word, and that’s worse, somehow. He only has the one tether to Eddie, and he wants to keep it, even if it’s through Chrissy’s handwriting, and Chrissy’s words, and Chrissy’s face.
He just wants.
Instead of saying all that, he reaches out, putting his hand gently on Chrissy’s hand and replies, “I’m sure,” even as the fluttering of his heart makes a liar of him.
Chrissy’s still biting her lip, not looking reassured at all. Steve’s gut churns with worry. ”Are you, though? You didn’t sign up for this, and if you don’t want to do it anymore, that’s okay.”
She smiles, her bottom lip blanched white from her teeth, as she replies, “We’re in this together, right?”
Even with the smile, she still looks worried, but Chissy puts her pen to paper and dutifully writes out the words Steve speaks, editing and revising each thought until it’s something someone might want to hear.
They keep their voices quiet because there are more people sitting in the library than usual today: a big group working on a project, a couple of freshman scowling down at what looks like a Geometry textbook, and closest of all, a girl he recognizes as a band nerd, flipping through a magazine too fast to really be reading it.
It doesn’t take them long—they’ve done this enough times that it’s become almost an art form. Chrissy pushes the completed letter across the table for his final review before it’s signed and sealed.
“It’s good,” Steve says, pushing the letter back across to her to be dropped off in Eddie’s locker.
His heart aches; Steve wants to slap himself.
Instead, he parts ways with Chrissy at their cars, Jeff already waiting beside hers to be driven home, and goes back to his house, bereft of the noise Chrissy had brought only that morning.
***
Eddie had worried when there wasn’t another letter after he’d started talking to Chrissy. Did she not like him anymore? Was she done writing them entirely now that she can talk to him face to face?
He worries incessantly for days about it, even as Chrissy keeps saying hi to him in the halls, keeps smiling back when they catch eyes across the cafeteria, keeps being her usual, friendly self.
It’s just, the letters are different. They’re more raw, somehow, more real. And, no matter how this thing goes with Chrissy, if they stop coming, he’ll miss them.
So, it’s a relief when he opens his locker the Monday after Chrissy’s eventful Hellfire induction to find a letter. He can’t wait to read it, the anticipation has built up over too many days of not receiving any. So, he rushes to the same, familiar bathroom and opens it in the stall he’s starting to think of as his.
Eddie —
How did your show go? I bet you’ve got a couple groupies already, you’ve already got the look for it. Did you figure out the riff for the song you were working on?
I tried playing the piano again, and I’m a little rusty, but it’s like riding a bike, you know? (Do you know how to ride a bike?) It’s nice, playing music, even if it’s all songs someone else has written, and they’re still not coming out right.
I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last letter. I just didn’t know what to say. You’re so patient, and nice, and I got caught up in my head you know? But I missed you.
I slept with your letter beneath my pillow last night, hoping for dreams of you.
Yours, Always
Your Secret Admirer
P.S. I haven’t read it, but maybe I will. Just to keep with the theme, put this letter in The Lord of the Rings.
He devours the words, slumping onto the toilet seat the longer he reads. It’s perfect—just what he was missing. He reads it once, twice, thrice, the same way he had when he’d received the first two, disbelieving that such lovely words were meant for him.
Eddie skips his second period, first already long gone by the time he’d trundled into the school’s parking lot, and pens a response, then and there.
He goes to the library immediately, nervous that if he doesn’t drop it off right away, she’ll assume Eddie isn’t going to write back at all.
He waffles over which book to put it in before finally tucking it into The Fellowship of the ring–it’s the first in the trilogy, and Chrissy’s probably too cool to even know it’s a trilogy.
There’s no response in his locker before Hellfire on Thursday, but that’s okay because true to her word, Chrissy shows up again. She’s smiling as she bounces through the doorway, all springy curls and happy cheer.
“Hi!” Chrissy says, waving as she beams her blinding smile around the room, all that cheerleader enthusiasm on display.
Doug looks struck dumb, staring at her with his mouth open. Gareth’s gaze is darting back and forth from the door to Eddie, eyes growing wider and wider with each pass. Only Jeff smiles and waves back.
“I hope we’re not intruding,” Chrissy says, elbowing Harrington in the side until he finally looks up and gives his own half-hearted wave.
Because Harrington is slumped in the doorway behind her, looking like he’s trying to hide the entire bulk of his body behind Chrissy’s petite frame.
“Uh, hey,” he says, ears strangely pink as his eyes dart around the room.
He never looks Eddie’s way at all.
“Hey, man,” Jeff replies, the only person aside from Chrissy that is currently functioning.
“Steve, can come, right?” Chrissy asks, like he’s not already in the doorway behind her.
Eddie’s gut sinks then swoops. Harrington’s a jock—what will he do locked in a room with a bunch of nerds? But, the chipped nail polish.
Eddie’s mind is full of screaming, thoughts flip flopping over each other as he tries to articulate all the things wrong with Harrington coming to Hellfire, but all that comes out of his mouth is a chipper, “sure!”
Chrissy’s smile grows teeth—is she going to bite him?
Eddie resists the urge to take a step back.
Jeff pulls out the vacant seat beside him, still looking cool as a cucumber while the rest of them scramble. “Come sit down.”
And that’s how he finds himself with a jock in Hellfire. Should they call an exterminator?
It’s Chrissy who takes the seat beside Jeff which leaves the only other empty chair next to Eddie’s throne. Eddie glares at Gareth, gesturing wildly for his friend to move up a seat, but Gareth’s too busy staring at Harrington like he’s a cobra about to strike.
Harrington is looking at the only empty seat with the exact same expression.
“Steve,” Chrissy hisses, and Harrington jumps. “Go sit down.
The pink on his ears travels down to his cheeks—it’s unfair, really, how pretty and even his blush is. When Eddie blushes, he blotches bright red from forehead to chest.
Steve’s embarrassment suits him.
Eddie waits until he’s seated before clapping loud enough that everyone startles as they turn to him. “Now!” he starts in the grand voice he uses when he’s performing his Dungeon Master duties. “Are you two playing?”
“No,” Harrington rushes out, the pink of his blush deepening to a red as he finally meets Eddie’s eyes. “I mean, Chrissy said she just watched last time?”
“We didn’t want to slow you down,” Chrissy cuts in.
Eddie nods, looking between the couple as awkwardness stews in the stilted silence.
“Alright,” he replies. “Gird your loins, lords and lady.”
Knowing a cue when they hear one, the Hellfire boys scramble to pull out character sheets and dice.
And they’re off!
It takes a minute to fall into the familiar minutiae of telling a story with not one but two interlopers, but Eddie manages it. This is where he thrives: a captive audience and all the power to fuck with them in the palm of his hand.
He only stumbles once, words jumbling together when he looks up and catches Harrington staring at him, eyes wide, cheeks still flushed from his earlier embarrassment as he bites his lip, ass literally on the edge of his seat as Eddie cobbles together the climactic finish to their latest encounter.
Harrington looks away quickly, but Eddie knows what he saw: Harrington is into this nerd shit. He’d tease him if he wasn’t worried that it would end in a swirlie.
Still, Eddie can feel his head puffing up like an overfilled balloon. He’s on the top of his game, painting grand adventures with grander words, all gestures and enthusiasm. He feels electric, the way he always does when there’s a new sheep in his flock to impress. His skin’s almost buzzing with it.
After all, even if his audience member is a jock, Eddie’s always been great at putting on a show.
Neither of the interlopers say anything until they’re busy packing up. Eddie lounges back in his throne, watching Chrissy help Jeff with his dice. She’s smiling up at him, clearly just as interested in their nerd shit as Harrington.
Eddie turns his eyes back to Harrington to see how he’s taking his girl talking to a guy that isn’t him only to find Harrington staring at him again. When Eddie meets his eyes, he ducks his head, cheeks tinting that familiar pink.
Is Steve Harrington fucking awkward?
“You’re good at that,” Harrington says quietly.
Eddie hums, confused. He’s shuffling his papers back together, not looking down at what he’s doing. What’s happening in front of him is far more interesting.
“At what, big boy?”
“Uh,” Harrington starts, darting his eyes back up to Eddie’s for a second before looking back down at his fiddling hands. “Telling a story.”
Eddie smiles, something warm and amorphous filling his stomach. “Thanks,” he says, lightly kicking Harrington’s ankle.
Harrington twitches, lets out a quick, “mmhmm,” and then turns away from Eddie to go find his girlfriend, dismissing Eddie without another word.
“Ready to go, babe?” Steve asks, settling his arm around her waist and damn-near frog marching her out of the room.
“Bye, Jeff! Bye, Eddie!” Chrissy calls, still cheerful even as her boyfriend controls her every move. Maybe she’s used to it—first Carver and now Harrington. “See you next week?”
Neither of them wait for a reply.
The silence is stifling in their wake. Only Jeff seems unbothered as he stuffs all of his supplies into his backpack. Doug hasn’t even touched his dice.
“What the hell was that?” Gareth asks, whipping around to Eddie.
“How the hell should I know?”
Jeff snorts. “You invited them,” he says.
“I invited Chrissy,” Eddie whines. “She invited Harrington.”
That catches Jeff’s attention. He glares at Eddie like he’s the one that had invaded their sacred space. “You’re not this stupid,” he says, swinging his backpack onto his back and striding toward the door. “I’ve got a ride home, don’t wait for me.”
“What does that mean?” Eddie demands.
The only answer is the door swinging shut.
***
Once he’s walked Chrissy to her car and watched her pull out of the parking lot safe from Carver’s creepy hands, Steve collapses into his own car. He presses his face into the steering wheel and groans, long and loud, assured in his safe isolation.
When the passenger door opens, he jumps, neck cracking with the speed at which he turns his head, ready to fight off the trespasser.
“Oh, it’s you,” Steve says, dropping his head back to the steering wheel.
“He knows,” Jeff says, voice serious enough that Steve raises his head back up immediately, heartbeat ratcheting up.
It takes a second for the words to connect, and when they do, his heartbeat quickens further, sweat pooling on the back of his neck, hands clenched hard enough on the steering wheel to hurt as fight or flight hits him.
“What?” he asks, the word cracking around his suddenly parched throat.
“Shit,” Jeff mutters, reaching out to pat Steve’s shoulder. “Not about you!”
Steve’s shoulders slump, breath shuddering out of him as Jeff continues to pat his shoulder, too awkward to be all that comforting. “Then, what—”
“He knows Chrissy is putting the notes in his locker.”
Steve sighs, slumping into his seat, uncaring of the way it crushes Jeff’s hand against the backrest. “Yeah, we figured,” he says, suddenly exhausted. “Do you know how?”
Jeff’s biting his lip when Steve looks his way. “He didn’t tell me,” he mutters. “But I know my best friend.”
It’s Steve’s turn to reach across the car and clasp Jeff’s shoulder. “I’m sure he has a reason for not telling you,” Steve replies, trying to smile past all that exhaustion.
Jeff snorts. “A stupid one, maybe.”
Steve hums, squeezing once more before dropping his hold on Jeff, suddenly realizing how stupid they must look, leaning toward each other, hands on each other’s shoulders like they’re having some sort of bro moment.
Steve turns back to the front of his car, cranks the engine, and smiles across at Jeff as the other boy takes the hint and drops his own hold. “Want a ride home?”
Instead of answering, Jeff puts on his seatbelt.
Jeff’s house is surprisingly close to Steve’s own. It’s a bit smaller than his, but there’s already a car in the driveway, and the shadows of silhouettes moving behind the pulled curtains, warm yellow light filtering through the fabric and onto the street.
Steve wishes he could go in with a fierce sort of longing that surprises him.
Jeff’s already got his seatbelt off and the passenger door open when he sighs, turning back around and settling back in his seat.
“You should come next week,” he says, all earnest in that way that seems to come so naturally to him and must have gotten him eaten alive in middle school.
“You can’t be serious,” Steve replies. There’s a tension headache growing, exasperated by the incredulous scrunching of his eyebrows. “That was a disaster.”
“Aw, it wasn’t that bad,” Jeff says, but he’s grinning like he’s remembering something funny. Steve’s got a few guesses what.
“Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious, man.” Jeff clasps his shoulder again—maybe that’s just something he does?
Steve scoffs, the roll of his eyes making his head pound. He opens his mouth to retort, something about Eddie’s reaction to Steve sitting beside him, but Jeff beats him to the punch.
“I know Eddie. And that in there?” He points back the way they’d come, like if Steve just strains his eyes, he’ll be able to catch sight of Eddie’s stupid fancy chair, and the stupid musty drama room, and the stupid look on Eddie’s face. “—is him interested.”
Steve closes his mouth, swallowing all the spit in his mouth, hoping it’s not audible to Jeff no matter how quiet the car is. “In me?” he asks, voice cracking embarrassingly.
Jeff doesn’t break eye contact, but his mouth twists uncomfortably. “Like you’re interested in him?” Jeff asks, continuing before Steve can reply. “I don’t know, man.”
Steve droops, the hope blooming in his chest curdling and sinking down into his stomach like old milk. He wants, desperately, to go home, turn out all the lights, and curl up alone in his bed to sleep away the rest of the day. But, Jeff’s still in his car, so he clenches the wheel between his fingers and says, “okay.”
“But, he doesn’t get you,” Jeff continues, voice gentling further. “And that intrigues him.”
Jeff’s still smiling like that should be some sort of boon to Steve’s ego, but it’s not. It lands like a brick. No one ever gets him, and whether he intrigues them or not, it always ends the same: him, alone in his big, empty house, waiting for a phone call that will never come, a doorbell that will never ring, a window that will never be snuck through.
He’d been through it before, with Donna in sixth grade, Nancy in tenth, hell, even Carol and Tommy for more years than he can count.
Intrigue has never gotten him anywhere. But, Jeff’s smiling, small and real, so Steve replies, “thanks, man,” smiling back until the other boy gets out of the car and he can safely drive away.
He’s got a dark house and a chilled bed waiting for him.
For the first time since this whole thing started, Steve writes the first draft of one of his secret admirer letters alone.
PART 9
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TOO LOST IN YOU - part III
Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc
playlist, part I, part II
Warnings: toxic!paige, SMUT, language, cheating lowkey...
Wordcount: 6.6k
A/N: SURPRISE!! enjoy this please, someone was asking for more fluff and i promise the next one will have more!! i appreciate all the love and support, please again tell me which parts you enjoyed the most and what you want more of!! i appreciate all of it ty guys (AND HAPPY UCONN HOOPS DAY)
-
“Riri…”
My fingers move over the keyboard, typing faster than my brain could keep up with. After hours of studying my brain worked on autopilot.
“Babe..?”
“Gimme a bit,” my murmur is barely audible as Jay sighs next to me, rolling her eyes and falling back down on the bed we’re sitting on. I’m curled up in the corner, my laptop on my knees, eyes bloodshot from the hours of work I’d been doing. The sound of a show I didn’t like blared in the background from Jay’s laptop, breaking my concentration. I wanted to shut her laptop and tell her to leave, but telling the person whose room you were in to get out seemed a little rude. Instead I shut my eyes for a moment and sigh.
“Could you grab headphones or something?” I suggest, as nicely as I could but some annoyance makes its way through.
Jay looks at me, her blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head as she sighs dramatically. She had been wanting my attention all day but I was seriously behind on some school work. Studying and writing essays was pretty much all I’d done for the past week. That and Jay. It was for the best, I didn’t need any time to overthink or dwell on… well… “the Paige situation” is what my best friends called it. Out of sight, out of mind.
“Valerie, you've been working all day again…” Jay says in a slightly whiny voice, the tone of it hits my ear uneasily. She wraps her arms around my bare thigh and hugs it tight. The pressure of her touch against my skin irks me - everything she did irked me. I blamed the overstimulation of everything going on . I peel her hands off me as gently as I could. Couldn’t she see I was busy?
“Just a little more I promise,” I mumble absentmindedly. I had been sitting on this corner of the bed since this morning, obvious from the state of me. My brown hair was up in a clip, half of it falling out messily, my face was bare of any makeup, and the light pink oversized t-shirt I was wearing had a picture of Tweety on it. I hadn’t even bothered to put on any pants all day.
“Babe you said that like an hour ago,” Jay points out, letting go of my thigh and sitting up next to me, brushing my hair off my face. I push her hand away, huffing a little bit, trying to let her know it was time to leave me alone.
“I need to work,” I remind her, a little annoyed by the neediness.
“But the party,” she sighs and closes my laptop, forcing me to look at her. I look into her brown eyes, as she raises her brows at me expectantly. I pout at her, looking at the freckles on her face before I sigh.
“I promised, didn't I…”
“You did,” Jay chuckles and grabs my hand. I let her. We had been seeing each other for a couple weeks now, ever since I finally let go of the foolish hope that someday Paige would actually care about me. God was I naive.
Jay was sweet, she always let me sleep over which I wasn’t used to. She loved to touch me, her hands were constantly on me. Sometimes it was a little frustrating but I think I just wasn’t used to it yet. Like when we walked around campus, she always wanted to hold hands. It made a knot grow in my stomach, but I knew I’d get used to it eventually. It just felt like a little too soon, we weren’t officially dating even though Jay certainly behaved like we were.
“I don’t feel like partying,” I sigh, glancing down at my shirt, knowing I looked like a mess.
Jay rolls her eyes but smiles a little, her lips pressing against mine. Absent-mindedly I kiss her back, not even bothering to close my eyes. It was just a peck anyway, I didn’t feel like it was a kiss worth closing your eyes for.
“C’mon Riri… everyone’s going,” she tries to convince me but she’s doing a very good job. I almost felt sorry for how she thought she could talk me over.
“I look like shit.”
“No you don’t.”
I let out a chuckle and climb out of the bed over Jay, checking myself in the mirror. I really did. I raise my brows and look at her, still on the bed.
“Well… just put on a little bit of mascara and we can go,” she chuckles, climbing out of bed, wrapping her hands around my waist as she approaches me from behind me. I watch in the mirror as her chin rests on my shoulder. I feel my stomach stir, wanting to push her hands off me again, but I think I had done that one too many times today already.
“You really wanna go? Like… really?” I ask with a frown, meeting her eyes in the mirror. She nods and looks at me pleadingly. It irked me, the way she was looking at me. But she was good to me, so I decided to give in.
-
I had barely brought any clothes to her dorm so I head to the party with Jay, wearing black yoga pants and the Tweety shirt I had slept in. A little bit of makeup and brushing through my hair had been as much effort as I was willing to put in.. I didn’t want to go to the stupid party anyway. The sooner we were in and out, the better. I didn’t care about impressing anyone on campus, not anymore.
The muffled sounds of music fill the hallway as we walk towards the right dorm. Jay’s hand is snug on the small of my back, guiding me. She looks at me and laughs a little, grabbing me a beer from her bag. I hated beer.
“Turn that frown into a smile,” she suggests with amusement. It only annoyed me further. I open the can and take a few sips.
“Gonna take a lot more beer,” I complain. She kisses my cheek and I see a girl walking past us, and realise we must look like a couple right now. The thought makes my chest tighten in the worst way.
“You’re cute when you’re mad,” Jay laughs, fixing the collar of her orange sweater that clashes horribly with my pink shirt. I suggested she should change into something else but she refused, which got me in an even worse mood. Her cheesy sayings weren’t helping.
I smile at Jay and knock on the door, the golden bracelet on my wrist dangling as I do. The door opens fast as my eyes widen seeing the amount of people they had managed to pack in this tiny dorm.
“Uh… where did you hear from this party again?” I ask a little hesitant and Jay laughs and guides me in confidently.
“It’s just some guy Brent who’s been throwing crazy parties in his dorm every february since he came here. I guess the word’s been going around huh?” She yells over the loud thumping of the music. By the time we’re inside I must’ve bumped into at least 12 people already, working hard not to spill my beer. I was already overstimulated and in a bad mood, not to mention stressed from all the due dates of my assignments sneaking up on me. The thumping of the music, the hot, humid air in the dorm and the sweaty bodies of students around me, spilling drinks all over the place was only making my mood worse.
“Jay I don’t know if I-” I start but she’s already walking past me, hurrying to her friends. I sigh and follow her, smiling awkwardly to the group of people greeting Jay. I didn’t really like her friends but I knew I should give them a chance. Jay was good to me.
“Bro, forreal I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you play Drake,” I hear a familiar voice from behind me. I feel the way my stomach drops, the way my hands immediately sweat a little as the tighten around the can of beer.
“It’s the principle, I’m team Kendrick,” some guy argues.
“Please dude I’m serious… she’ll flash you for it,” the familiar voice yells over the music and this statement is enough to make me turn around.
What I see proves what I had already known to be true. Paige is standing a few feet behind me, in black cargos and a white Nike t-shirt, the number 5 dangling on her silver chain. Of course she looked perfect, with her blonde hair down - I always loved it when she wore it like that. My fingertips tingle when I remember what it felt like to brush my hands through that hair.
“Oh my gooooood PAIGE!!” the brunette girl standing next to her squeals and only then I notice Paige’s hand wrapped around her hip, rubbing circles on it as they both laugh. My mouth parts as I blink at them stupidly, a painful squeeze taking over my chest.
“Valerie!” Jay yells over the music, and Paige turns to our direction. Her eyes widen in recognition as she sees me, softening for a moment. Her hand drops from the hip of the strange girl next to her, as she stares into me. I felt a wave of electricity run through my body as I felt her eyes on me, like I was coming alive for her again. I was so in shock from seeing her here I felt myself forget why I had even been upset with her in the first place.
Jay grabs my waist and pulls me close, but my gaze remains locked on Paige. Her brows furrow as she sees Jay’s hand squeezing my ass gently and suddenly I feel sick for the way Jay’s touch felt against my skin. No, it wasn’t that. It was Paige’s fault, all of it, the way I felt, the way I was being a bitch to Jay when all she did was good to me. Struggling to do so, I finally turn my gaze to Jay and offer her a warm smile, leaning my head into her shoulder. I quickly down my beer, frowning at the taste but grabbing another one anyway.
Why was she even here? Who was that girl? Why did she stare at me like she hadn’t called me a slut straight to my face just last week? I quickly glance behind me, not at Paige who was joking with a big group of her teammates, but at the girl. She was only a little taller than me, brunette, and she seemed to giggle a lot. I feel my stomach twist as I watch her reach her hand up to Paige’s hair and brush through it, like I had so many times.
I already hated her.
I downed another beer as one of Jay’s friends, Em or something, pointed behind me and Jay and whispered something to her. Jay looks behind us, her eyes widening and mouth falling open when she saw who it was. She leans into my ear, her lips brushing against my skin but I don’t feel anything.
“Babe omg, that’s Paige Bueckers,” she whispers excitedly into my ear, nodding toward the tall blonde and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Jay had no idea how familiar I was with Paige Bueckers.
Jay glances behind us again and giggles in a giddy manner, looking around the circle. “And that’s Jana and Allie and Azzi too, right?” she gasps and looks at me expectantly. I glance behind us too dismissively.
“Oh wow,” I murmur, my tone flat.
Jay rolls her eyes. “Oh c’mon who doesn’t love Paige.”
“I don’t,” I say matter of factly, shrugging at the blonde girl next to me, her hand still rubbing my side. I ignore the way her touch did nothing to me, didn’t leave any spark at all.
“Oh right she won’t even go see a game with me can you believe that,” Jay tells her friends who all chuckle. I fake laugh with them, trying to ignore the way I could feel Paige’s eyes boring into the back of my head. I knew the feeling far too well from all the times she had come to ogle at me at Ted’s, all the times I turned to look at her to find she was already staring.
“I just don’t like basketball,” I explain, shaking my head. It was a huge lie, but a harmless one so I didn’t feel bad about it. Sure, I could tell Jay that me and Paige had history - but why worry her over nothing? Trust me, I was lying for her sake.
“I’m gonna go ask for a pic,” Jay nods to herself and my eyes widen. I immediately shake my head, wrapping my arm around her.
“No you’re not,” I chuckle, my face turning hot.
“Why not?”
“Because!”
Jay looks at me, waiting for me to continue. I meet her gaze, my mind blanking.
“Becausee… she probably just wants to be left alone!” I mumble and press a kiss on her cheek, plotting a distraction. “C’mon Jay let’s get you another drink.” I try to sweet talk her but it’s pointless. Jay shakes her head at me with a laugh, her hand returning to her side as she turns to the group of Uconn Huskies behind us, chatting in a circle.
Embarrassed, I cover my face with my hand, cursing at the universe for making me go through this over and over again. I just needed a break from Paige fucking Bueckers.
I try to sneak away but Jay’s hand pulls me to her as she taps Paige on the shoulder. The easy conversation between the Huskies goes quiet, and all their eyes turn to Jay. I feel myself wanting to melt away, maybe to self implode or something to get me out of this situation.
With a lick of her lips, Paige turns to me and Jay, her eyes meeting mine first. Suddenly I hated myself for not running to my dorm to grab a nicer outfit earlier or at least some false lashes and foundation. I flip my hair over my shoulder, praying it made me look a little more presentable. She must’ve thought I looked awful. I had been replaying a fantasy in my head of me looking flawless, perfect the next time she’d see me after our “situation” at Ted’s. I guess the universe truly despised me. I must’ve been an axe murdered in my previous life. I need to make sure I’m desperately good in this one
“Hey sorry I don’t wanna bother you guys but I’m such a big fan, like I come see every game,” Jay says, a slight nervousness apparent in her voice. I chew on my inner cheek, feeling my insides turn as Paige’s eyes move from me to Jay, tilting her head back as she sizes her up. Suddenly I’m aware of how much taller Paige was than Jay. How much broader her shoulders were. I swallow, watching a smug smirk spread on Paige’s face.
“Of course bro let’s do it,” she says in a friendly tone, but I could recognise a hint of arrogance in it. I grab my phone, tapping on the camera app, trying to ignore the way my lower abdomen was stirring with unease but it was no use. The people bumping into me and the loud thumping of music wasn’t helping any of it. I felt sick to my stomach.
Paige throws her arm around Jay’s shoulder, looking from her to me with that arrogant smile on her face, that made me want to slap her and kiss the hell out of her at the same time. I was praying she’d play along, pleading with my eyes for her not to say anything about our history.
“You don’t want a picture?” Paige grins teasingly, her eyes landing on me. I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out, all I felt was my throat going dry.
“Ohh she doesn’t like hoops, never goes to a game with me,” Jay complains which makes Paige nod knowingly, her tongue running along her lower lip, clearly trying to hold in a laugh.
“Oh is that so?” Paige asks, our eyes meeting again in a stubborn staring contest. My cheeks turn red and a heat pools between my legs but it doesn’t make me look away.
I scoff and nod. “Yup, hate it actually,” I lie, my tone lighthearted. From the corner of my eye I see KK and Ice watching the interaction, snickering. The thought that they were laughing at me and how stupid I had been thinking I could have Paige all to myself crosses my mind, and it makes me finally break eye contact. I bet they all thought I was an idiot. Poor girl who really truly believed that Paige could someday love her.
“I’m sure I could change your mind,” Paige argues and Jay nods next to her as they clink their plastic cups together.
“See?” Jay laughs, and I felt a little bad for her. Here she thought she was bonding with someone she admired, no idea what was really going on.
“Let’s just take the pic,” I sigh and watch them through the screen, seeing the way Paige’s rings decorated her fingers, the way her jawline sharpened as she tilted her head and smiled. I don’t even notice Jay next to her in the picture, all I could see was Paige.
“Got it,” I murmur and hand the phone back to Jay. My mind was spinning in a way I didn’t like, flashing with memories of what happened at the back of Ted’s with Paige, the words that were said, everything I had blocked out. I knew my only option was to leave or drink a lot more, quickly.
“I need another drink,” I murmur, and push past Jay, Paige and the rest of her team, taking hurried steps towards the kitchen around the corner. To my relief, I find it empty and quiet, giving me time to calm down. I brush my hand through my long, thick hair and place my palms on the kitchen counter, watching the cups and the liquor bottles on the table. I don’t understand why I couldn’t escape her. It felt like a hopeless battle, like a war I couldn’t win - if I let myself get consumed by her I got hurt, and if I tried to forget, she was everywhere. I simply could not win.
Paige steps into the desolate kitchen through the doorway, carefully watching me. I notice her and immediately turn my back to her.
“Don’t,” I tell her sternly, knowing how easy it was for her to make me forget all the bad that she had done. Each way that she had hurt me.
Paige raises her hands in surrender, a little amused by my dramatics. “Relax, just needed a drink,” she chuckles and starts looking through the liquor bottles on the table. I take a deep breath and turn back to watch her, her broad back facing me as she reads through the label of a bottle. She had always been horrible with mixing drinks.
“You want one too?” she asks carefully, her voice hoarse from having to yell over the music.
I take cautious steps towards her, stopping next to her but making sure I leave plenty of space between us. It was like my body was screaming, every inch between us too much, every cell in my brain trying to lose all sense.
Paige’s fingers wrap around a bottle of vodka, carelessly pouring it into a cup.
“Whoaa, okay no, let me,” I stop her abruptly, snatching the bottle from her. Paige lets me, a smirk on her face as I take lead, dividing the generous amount of vodka between two cups. She leans one hand on the counter, the veins on her hand popping, making it hard to think straight.
“So… your girl’s a fan huh?” She asks complacently, leaning down slightly to speak into my ear. I feel her body heat radiating off her, turning my breathing laboured. I shake my head, not wanting to speak in case my voice shook. I reach to the other corner of the counter for the passion fruit liqueur, feeling Paige step back a little. Her hand was still resting on the counter though, as I slid between her body and the counter, my back brushing against her chest. I swallow hard, a knot appearing in my stomach. My ears felt like they were burning.
I stand still between Paige and the counter, as I pour some liqueur in each cup.
“Why’d you tell her you hate basketball hm?” she asks teasingly, her eyes looking down on me.
“Because I do,” I lie, my breath hitching when I felt her front press closer to my back the tiniest bit.
“Right… what’s her name anyway,” Paige asks with a chuckle.
“Jay.”
“Jay?”
“Yup.”
“What kinda name is Jay?” Paige laughs a little and I roll my eyes.
“It’s a nickname,” I explain, filling our cups with some mixers.
“For?”
I shift a little, placing the bottle of juice down. Paige’s proximity was making me dizzier than I already was.
“Justine,” I say matter of factly and Paige lets out a loud laugh, her hand finally falling off the counter.
“Justine?” She asks astonished and amused, her brows raising and mouth fighting a smirk as I turn to face her, leaning my back against the counter.
“Shut up!” I scold her, feeling the way my mouth wanted to twist into a smile too. She had one of those laughs that just made you laugh. It was one of my favourite sounds in the world.
Paige grins and nods to herself, trying not to laugh. “Justine huh…” she murmurs to herself. She steps in closer to me, her eyes heavy, locking on my lips as she reaches behind me for her drink. I lean back, pressing my back tight against the counter, having to tilt my head back to look at her.
Paige sips the drink and smirks, not moving away.
“She’s short,” she says with a grin.
“No she’s not!” I scoff, watching the way her throat bobbed as she swallowed, the heat between my legs growing. Having Paige this close to me was making me feel more than Jay had done in all of the last two weeks. I hated realising that.
“She short,” Paige repeats smugly, still looking down at me, towering over my frame. I’m all the way pinned against the counter, not able to back up any further.
“You’re just freakishly tall,” I murmur, feeling her move closer, her front pressing against my chest, hand sliding to my waist. I felt like my knees might give out.
Paige looks at me for a while, her eyes roaming my face. I realise she has never seen me with this little makeup on, this undone. Embarrassment and the effects of the alcohol make my cheeks flush red. Paige bites on her lower lip as her eyes soften.
“You look so beautiful ma,” she whispers, her voice hoarse. And I snap.
My hands wrap around her body and I pull her in, her front flush against mine as our lips clash in a hungry, starved kiss. Her hands are everywhere, my waist, my chest, cupping my ass, pulling me closer by my hair. Paige tilts my face just right to deepen the kiss, her tongue sliding into my mouth with urgency.
I feel the counter digging into my back painfully but I felt too euphoric to mind. She tastes like passionfruit, and most importantly like herself, and her kisses send sparks everywhere. As I moan into her mouth, pulling her closer by her hair, Paige takes it as an invitation and slides her leg between mine, pressing her thigh into my core. I wanted more, needed to feel all of her. It was too late now, I was too far gone. I couldn’t bear to be away from her. I was too weak to try.
Suddenly it rushes back, the nights I spent crying over her, the way she would rush me out of her bed telling me she didn’t like sleepovers. The words she had said to me last I saw her and how it had torn me apart when I got home after my shift. A panic took over me, I wasn’t strong enough to go through that again.
In a rush I push Paige off me, my chest heaving. She wipes her lips, looking at me confused. Grabbing my drink and my mind spinning, I rush out of the kitchen looking for one thing only. I needed to forget.
“Hey where have you be-” Jay starts but I shut her up by kissing her roughly, my hand wrapping around the back of her neck, tongue sliding into her mouth. It felt like nothing compared to Paige, but I tried to forget. I needed this to stop. I needed to force myself to forget.
Jay is taken aback, her blonde hair falling out of the bun she was wearing as I tuck on it. When my lips kiss along her jaw and neck, I hear her chuckling a little, hand rubbing up and down my back. “What’s all this about?” she asks.
I had told her I hated PDA - which in a way was true. With her I did hate PDA. But now my mind was spinning and I was desperately clinging to her like she could help me stay afloat, like she could save me from the depths that were trying to lure me in.
“Just kiss me,” I say breathlessly, returning my lips to hers. Paige walks past us, her arm bumping into me in the tightly packed living room as I kiss Jay in a way I had never kissed her before - with real hunger. Only it wasn’t hunger for her.
As the song switched to the familiar beats of Heartbeat by Childish Gambino, Jay gasps, pulling away from the kiss.
“I love this song!” She shouts over the music, pulling me towards the area where people were dancing. My stomach turns as I’m reminded of all the times me and Paige had fucked while this song played in the background, how many times I had been between her legs, buried into her, the sounds she made, the way her perfect hands gripped my hair.
“You thinking that the songs coming on to tempt me
I need to be alone like the way you left me
You start calling, you start crying
I come over, I'm inside you
I can't find you”
The lyrics blast into my ear when I see Paige in the corner of the room, her hands kneading the ass of that girl she was with, kissing her roughly. It made me sick to my stomach. The way I could see the girl was putty in her arms, Paige’s eyes tightly shut as her lips slid against hers. I hated knowing that other people knew the way her lips felt, the exact pressure of her kiss.
I wrap my arms around the back of Jay’s neck and swing to the song with her, moving my hips as she sings the lyrics, her hands gently on my sides. The red tint of the led lights was making my vision blurry, and the people all around us bumping into me would’ve annoyed me if I hadn’t been so focused on Paige and this girl, still staring straight at them.
“Stupid, so dummy
Say the wrong thing and wrong girls come runnin'
I'm paranoid that these girls want something from me
And it's hard to make a dime go one hundred”
“Thank you for coming here with me,” Jay murmurs into my ear, her tone blissful from how touchy I’d become with her suddenly. My eyes flick to hers and I smile weakly, pressing kisses on her lips when I feel that all too familiar burn of Paige’s eyes on me.
Jay’s lips move to my neck as we keep dancing, and I can’t help the way my eyes flick over her shoulder, to find Paige already staring at me.
”I miss the sex when you kiss whenever you through
Sixty-nine is the only dinner for two”
It’s not the kissing on my neck but the intensity of Paige’s gaze, dark and hungry, that makes me let out a small whimper. Jay smirks against my neck satisfied, thinking it’s all her doing as her hands travel to my hips.
The brunette dancing with Paige says something to her, the eye contact finally breaking, making me feel like I could breathe again. I felt all my emotions swirling in my head, making me feel confused - hate, lust, anger, love, jealousy all overwhelming me. I felt myself sinking.
It feels like the room is spinning when Jay grabs my jaw, her lips pressing into mine harshly as her hands rub up and down my sides. But I had to see Paige. As Jay keeps kissing me I open my eyes, seeing Paige kissing the brunette on the other side of the room, but her eyes are wide open staring right back at me. It’s so hot I nearly moan.
“So we're done? This the real shit?
We used to hold hands like field trips
I'm a jerk, but your dude is a real dick”
The girl clings onto Paige’s t-shirt for dear life, her hand snaking around the back of her neck to pull her in closer. Jay’s hands tighten on my hips, her tongue sliding against my lower lip but I barely notice. My mind is woozy, never breaking eye contact with Paige as the song comes to an end, my core aching with how bad I needed her. We didn’t need any words, we both knew the thoughts going around our heads.
“Are we dating? Are we fucking?
Are we best friends? Are we something in between that?
I wish we never fucked, and I mean that”
“Excuse me,” I murmur to Jay in a haze, pulling away from her kiss and hurrying towards the bathroom. I close the door behind me, about to lock it when I hear a firm knock. Chest already heaving from anticipation, I open the door to find Paige pushing herself in, just as breathless as I was.
Before I have the time to think whether any of this was smart, I’m being backed into the sink, Paige’s lips urgently attacking mine. I immediately whimper into her mouth, my eyes squeezing together involuntarily as my hands slip underneath her white shirt, the need to feel the warmth of her bare skin taking over me.
“Mmh,” Paige moans softly, her hands sliding down my back to my ass, squeezing roughly. Her lips move from my lips to my neck, sucking underneath my ear hard enough to leave marks but at the moment I couldn’t care less. The want I felt for her took over everything, my anger, jealousy, any sense I had.
I throw my head back and look at the ceiling, breathing heavily as Paige’s hand slides to the waistband of my pants, fingertips dipping beneath the fabric already making my legs feel weak.
“Didn’t think you were into short girls,” Paige grins against my neck, her hand itching closer to where my need for her was pooling desperately, aching for her.
“She’s not sh-” I start but an involuntary gasp interrupts me when two of Paige’s fingers slide into me suddenly. Her brows furrow in lust when she feels how wet I am, the way I swallow her fingers up with ease. My hands grip the sink behind me trying to steady myself as Paige’s skilled fingers started pumping in and out of me, curling just right.
“Oh god,” I moan, my head thrown back. Paige grabs my hair and pulls me into a kiss, getting as much pleasure out of this as I did. Her thumb brushes against my clit making me hiss, but she swallows the sound with a needy kiss, other hand holding me up and steady by my hips.
“So wet,” she gasps against my mouth, the speed of her fingers making my head spin. “You this wet for Justine?” Paige whimpers, her breathing laboured against my lips.
I shake my head, my eyes opening for a moment to meet hers as she watches me in awe, like she could never get enough.
“Who you this wet for then?” Paige asks, her pupils dilated and dark as she towered over me. Her fingers were making a quick mess of me, already making me throb around her.
“Shit, ah - for you Paige,” I moan and Paige’s eyes flutter shut at my words, from how bad she had needed to hear that.
“Fuck,” she moans, her fingers pumping at a rapid pace now, the veins in her forearm popping out. “That’s right ma,” Paige coos leaning down and kissing my neck roughly as I felt the familiar knot in my stomach quickly grow. My mind spinning I bring my hand to Paige’s abs, feeling them flex as she worked hard to get me to my peak.
I was gushing around her fingers, surely dripping down her wrist and arm as she quickly worked me to the edge. It was dizzying, when she had me like this - she could’ve made me do anything she wanted. I hadn’t felt like this since the last time we slept together. No one could do what Paige Bueckers did.
Suddenly there’s a knock on the door and Jay’s voice rises over the thumping of the music.
“Riri you in there?”
Paige quickly covers my mouth, but her fingers don’t stop. My eyes widen as she looks at me sternly, telling me to stay quiet with her eyes. I felt myself tighten around her fingers, the tremble in my legs letting Paige know I was close.
Jay tries the door handle, and I thank God Paige locked it. The knocking stops and Paige lets her hand fall away from my mouth, brows furrowing as she looks down between our bodies, hissing.
“Shit, I can feel how tight you are baby,” she murmurs hoarsely, and I feel my eyes roll into the back of my head as her fingertips hit just the right spot to make my orgasm build up fast.
“Oh fuck P-” I whimper, but my mind was spinning too much - I couldn’t come up with anything comprehensible.
“I know Val,” Paige murmurs into my ear, keeping the steady rhythm of her fingers as she pumps them in and out, thumb rubbing against my clit just enough to bring me to my peak. I don’t have to tell her, she knows.
“Come for me ma,” she coos into my ear, leaving wet kisses on my neck and groaning hoarsely. “S’ wet and tight, all for me.”
With that, an involuntary gasp spills from my lips as I release all over Paige’s fingers, dripping down her hand, my body trembling desperately as I moan as quietly as I could. It was the way the air smelled just like Paige, the pressure of her kisses on my neck, the familiar, perfect way her fingers worked me, all of it made me unravel.
“Oh shit,” I mumble breathlessly, leaning my head forward and resting it against Paige’s chest. Slowly, Paige pulls her hand away and brings it to her mouth, her tongue licking her fingers clean of me, groaning a little as she tastes me.
I look at her and giggle a little at the way she was savouring the taste, licking her lips hungrily. If Paige Bueckers was anything it was a munch.
“You better wash those hands too,” I tell her, my voice a little whiny from the way she had just made me fall apart, all for her.
Paige smirks a little, licking her lips and leaning down to kiss me. But this kiss was different, it wasn’t hungry, or demanding - it was gentle and soft, I would’ve called it loving if I knew Paige Bueckers loves nothing but basketball.
“Val,” Paige starts. Her nose nuzzles against mine, hands holding my waist when I feel my phone ring in my pocket, interrupting the moment. I quickly pull away and answer, Jay’s voice coming through the other line.
“Riri where are you babe?”
“Uh,” I mumble and move away from Paige’s grip suddenly realising what we had done. I step away, watching her start to wash her hands, jaw clenching as she listens to me speak. “I had to find another bathroom.”
“Well where you at this party’s getting a little crazy,” Jay asks, clearly drunk.
“Umm, just wait there and I’ll find you,” I tell her and hang up, my cheeks reddening in shame. What was I doing?
Paige dries her hands and fixes her shirt before looking at me. “Let’s head out then?” she asks and I nod, feeling myself start to freak out. I was fucking everything up for a person who couldn’t care less about me. I was raised better than this.
Just as I reach for the lock, the guilt begins to take over. Noticing, Paige grabs my jaw and presses another kiss on my lips. A tender one again, the kind I wasn’t used to getting from her. I feel all the guilt and shame trickle away as she hums against my mouth.
“Okay, let’s go ma.” she murmurs and opens the door for me. The party’s even more packed than before so no one notices when we slide out of the bathroom together. Her hand is on the small of my back as she guides me through the crowd, pushing people away to make sure no one bumped into me.
“Babe!!!” Jay calls out and forces her way over to me and Paige. I quickly push Paige’s hand off the small of my back as Jay reaches us and wraps her arm around my waist urgently.
“Sorry I uh… got a little lost,” I lie looking at the ground and then at Paige. The lie was written all over my face, but Jay was way too drunk to take note of that. Or the brand new purple bruise on my neck.
“Ye, she was knocking on some poor freshman’s door. Prolly scared the shit outta her,” Paige quickly backs up my story, grinning convincingly. My eyes are heavy, still staring at her, unable to look away.
“Of course she did,” Jay giggles and pokes my cheek. I wanna slap her hand away. “Well thanks bro.”
“No problem,” Paige smiles at her. Jay’s hand reaches over to dab her up and I watch, red cheeked and flustered at their hands, me and Paige both knowing that her fingers had just been inside me not more than a few minutes ago.
“Uh we should go I’m tired,” I murmur and offer Paige a weak smile. Her blue eyes stare at my narrowing back as me and Jay push our way through the crowd, into the hallway of the building.
Jay kisses my cheek and wraps her hand in mine as my stomach twisted in guilt.
“She’s so nice,” Jay gushes rubbing her thumb against my skin.
“Huh?” I ask absentmindedly.
“Paige. She’s really nice, who would’ve thought huh.”
I swallow.
“Yeah, she is.” really nice.
-
taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @mandyvivic @frankoceanlvr303039 @angryflowerwitch @taylynbueckers44 @mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @tndaqlifwy @justliketoreadsowhat @oreo2sblog @sftlyortega @slvt4her @julieloveswbb @vsz333 @faeries-posts (sry if i forgot to tag you 😭)
#too lost in you#lilas writing#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers x female oc#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers fanfiction#wnba x oc#paige bueckers smut#Spotify
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that's a wrap
alex popp x actress!reader
summary: you decide that it is time to become a full-time wife
in the golden glow of the los angeles twilight, you gaze out of your sleek penthouse window, the city sprawling beneath you like a living canvas painted with vibrant hues of orange and deepening blue.
you have lived in this city for so long, your life woven into the cinematic fabric. from the moment you left germany as a child, your heart yearned for a stage—the bright lights of hollywood, the echo of applause, and the thrill of storytelling.
you have become one of the most recognized actresses of your generation in the horror genre. an oscar at nineteen, an emmy at twenty-three, and countless nominations and awards have been attached to your name.
with each role you’ve played, your name becomes tied to brilliance, embodying strength and vulnerability.
yet, as your career flourishes, an unsettling feeling begins to simmer beneath the surface—a whisper of change, a longing for something different.
at thirty-one, you find a different kind of love is beckoning from across the ocean.
alex, your wife and the fierce striker for wolfsburg, has always been your anchor. mutual friends introduced you to her back in 2014, and due to your career you couldn’t take things seriously at first. however, alex always tried with you. you’ve been married to her now for four years, and its been the best four years of your life.
one day, when you came back to germany for a couple of months, alex wanted to talk to you..
“i’m thinking of retiring from international football,” alex says one evening, her voice steady but laced with a hint of uncertainty. you are nestled together on your plush couch, surrounded by the cozy warmth of your shared home. you sense the gravity of the declaration.
football has been everything for her—the highs of goals scored, the heartache of losses, the euro wins (and losses), alex loved football more than anything (besides you of course).
“are you sure?” you ask, searching alex’s emerald-green eyes, which are reflective with both spark and sadness. you remember the times you’ve spent watching matches together, the way she lights up at every goal and every tackle, the intensity that comes alive within her.
“you’ve worked so hard for this.”
a small smile curls on alex’s lips, her fingers intertwining with yours.
“i have, and it’s been an incredible journey. but i think it’s time for a change. i want to focus on the club, on my next steps, and… on us.” she pauses, laying her head on your shoulder.
“the idea of retiring feels freeing, like opening a door to something new. but it’s a big step, especially with how much i’ve given to the national team.”
your heart flutters at her words. there it is—the dream of shared life, the possibility of focusing on each other more than your respective careers. but you feel a twinge of your own aspirations weaving into the conversation.
in recent months, you have found yourself more and more drained by the demands of acting. each press tour and red carpet event feels like a weight; the personas you crafted for the cameras sometimes feel far removed from who you want to be.
your love for acting left years ago, but you’ve never talked about it. millions of people would do anything to have the success that you had, which is why you remained humble when it came to your career.
you bite your lip, contemplating your own path.
“and what about you?”
you finally speak, your voice soft and contemplative.
“i mean, i’ve been thinking... maybe it’s time for me to step back, too.”
alex turns her head sharply, a mixture of surprise and concern twisting her features.
“what do you mean?”
you take a deep breath, your heart racing.
“i’ve loved acting my whole life. since i was ten years old.. but lately… i don’t know. it feels like there’s something more out there for me. something besides just the next film or the next award. maybe i want to stay here, with you, in germany. support you full-time as you transition.”
“you love what you do,” alex reminds you, concern etched into her expression.
“i do.. i think,” you acknowledge, “but I don’t know if it’s what I want anymore. it’s all so noisy, and sometimes I crave the quiet—the kind I can have with you.” it’s a realization you’ve been wrestling with, the weight of your own dreams now intertwined with the desire to nurture the softness of your domestic life.
at the age of ten, you left germany to be on a famous 2000s sitcom in the united states. not much was known about you, since you were a child playing in a child’s role at the time. you were on the sitcom from the age of ten to seventeen. afterwards, you moved onto movies– which is where you started getting your name plastered with the huge box office hits.
the following days with alex blur into a blend of introspection and exhilaration.
you left germany, again, a month after the conversation you had with your wife.
you are scheduled to appear on a popular late-night show in new york city—a platform that demands your presence but feels like yet another bolt of pressure in the timeline of your life. you look forward to it; yet, somewhere deep down, you wonder how your announcement will change things.
the thought of standing in front of an audience—centering their gaze on you, waiting for your words—fills you with both excitement and anxiety. it always had.
as the lights of new york glimmer outside the studio windows, you sit backstage, your heart echoing loudly against your ribcage. the host, a charming figure with a knack for drawing out emotion, greets you with warmth that feels strangely nourishing amidst the crowd’s overwhelming enthusiasm.
once seated beneath the bright lights, you feel the familiar rush of adrenaline, but this time it’s laced with purpose.
“y/n y/n y/n,” the host smiles,
“the first time you’ve sat in this chair, you were 13 years old with the cast of that 70s show– you’ve dazzled ussince you were just a child. your transformative performances have captivated audiences worldwide.”
the host stops talking as the audience claps, you smile, your hands held together in your lap as you sit in a nice black blazer outfit.
“but tonight, we hear you have some news that may surprise your fans.” the host says after the clapping died down.
you clear your throat, feeling the electrifying rush in your veins as you lean forward.
“thank you so much for having me,” you begin, the words flowing as if infused with years of pent-up emotion.
“ it has been a privilege to do what I love for all these years, but tonight I want to share something personal. after woman of the hour premieres, it will be my last movie you will see me in.” the studio falls silent, the audience holding its breath in disbelief.
“after the film premieres, I will be retiring from acting for good.”
the reactions erupt—gasps, applause, disbelief—as you feel the host’s eyes wide with surprise. you smile gently, eyes twinkling with both sadness and liberation.
“life changes, and so do we. for me, it’s about stepping back to embrace the next chapter—to support my wife, to explore new passions, to discover who I am outside the roles I’ve played.”
the host nods, admiration shining in his eyes.
“that’s incredibly brave of you, y/n. how does it feel to step away from something that has defined you for so long?”
“it feels... freeing. and a little scary.” you let out a soft laugh, your heart now racing with vulnerability.
“but I realized that life is about growing, about finding joy in unexpected places. for me, it’s about my family. we’re at the point where it feels right to re-prioritize what matters.”
your words resonate through the studio, and as your announcement settles, you feel a wave of relief wash over you. the claps and cheers from the audience feel like an embrace.
this is your decision, not just for you, but for your love, for a future you envision filled with laughter, and quiet evenings.
as soon as the segment concludes and the applause fades, you are flooded with emotion. walking off the stage, you can already envision the life ahead of you in germany, around the comforts of home and the brilliant sun-kissed laughter alongside alex. no more LA, just wolfsburg where your heart belongs.
you can finally imagine taking long morning walks, exploring new projects, starting fresh hobbies together—whatever you both like at that moment in time.
when you return home to germany that night, alex is waiting for you, a mixture of pride and adoration in her eyes.
“i saw you,” she whispers as you embrace, her voice tinged with warmth that melts away the lingering uncertainty.
“you were amazing, love.”
together, you sink into your beloved couch, the world outside shuttered in the nighttime calm.
“i can’t believe you actually did it,” alex says, a playful rise in her voice.
“you dropped the bomb.”
you laugh, the warmth blooming in your chest.
“felt like the right moment.”
“yes,” alex smiles. you feel the flutter of excitement at the thought of so many uncharted territories waiting for you both.
“imagine how lovely it will be,” alex continues, taking your hand between her own.
“to wake up every day without the rush of schedules, just life… our life.”
“with lots of dogs and the daughter we hope to bring in the next few years,” you tease, knowing the next steps you’ve discussed with your wife.
“how about we start with a little getaway to the mountains next weekend?”
“that sounds perfect,” you declare, her fondness illuminating as you share a kiss, both of you feeling free from the burdens that once held you captive.
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Crush
dean winchester x fem!reader
2.6k | angst, fluff
summary: operation, have you and dean actually get along. that is all sam begged and pleaded to happen. though, it worked better than he initially had hoped.
sam believed that if he rolled his eyes anymore, they’d get stuck at the back of his head. he loved you, don’t get it twisted. it’s just that when you and dean were in the same room, things seemed to get a lot more. . . aggravating, to say it lightly.
the winchester brothers had met you around three years ago on a hunt in washington. a pesky demon is what brought you all together. well, it was more or less you and sam. dean was just an added on bonus that wasn’t really a bonus because you wanted to slap him across the face every ten seconds.
you and dean winchester hadn’t gotten along since the jump, and sam could easily vouch for the statement since he’d been in the middle of the lengthy feud for many years. dean was cocky, stubborn, and always had to be right, something you couldn’t stand. as someone who strived on being independent, a man like dean was a thorn in your side.
for years, anytime sam called you to help on a case, or you three were in the same place at the same time, you and dean would always end up in some kind of fight. whether it be his idea was better than yours or dean’s constant need to blare his music in the car it didn’t matter. you would always fight and sam would always dream of cutting his eyes out with a blunt butter knife
this hunt wasn’t any different. a witch had been using the residents of a small town in mississippi as her personal test dummy’s. droppings bodies left, right, and centre. so with a call from sam, you hopped on a bus and met the two brothers at their motel in kentucky, ready to join the hunt.
dean always teased you for not having a constant form of transportation, but you weren’t a douche who rode in a classic muscle car. especially one who was attached to it as a baby is to their bottle, so his digs just went completely deaf to you.
knocking on the winchester’s motel room door, sam greeted you with a gleaming smile on his face. arms extended for a hug, you cuddled into his chest and rested your head by his shoulder, catching a glimpse of dean shovelling a mini pie into his mouth.
when the older brother caught your eye, he just scoffed. hands moving to cross over his chest as you stepped away from sam and did the same.
“we really don’t need her help sammy.” dean practically snarled, mouth tilting up in a devious smirk. “she’s probably already got plans with all her little pals on the bus.”
sam just sighed, already mentally prepared for the kindergarten level digs you two were going to throw at each other. he almost left the room as he watched your shoulders square and your jaw clench. “oh very funny dean.” you retorted, hands resting in your pockets so you didn’t choke the man. “why don’t i just go slash all your tires? then maybe we can be bus buddies.”
“don’t you dare even think about touching my baby!” dean’s finger had lifted in the air in a pointing motion at you, and sam felt his hands lift up and slap against his thighs. “oh dear god, you guys are killing me! there’s people who need are help, and you two fighting like an old married couple isn’t going to help them.”
the sour look on your face when sam mentioned you and dean in the same sentence as married couple could’ve been made as a reaction photo, yet sam and dean didn’t acknowledge it as they led the way outside and to the infamous chevy impala.
nothing could ever prepare sam for the long car rides with you and his brother. it was either copious hours of bickering or a tense silence that had sam so uncomfortable he questioned if walking was a good idea.
this time the silence was so thick, sam genuinely reached his breaking point. Years of breaking up your arguments and having to be the middleman drove him to a dire conclusion; he needed to get you and Dean to like each other.
the plan was truly fool proof. force the two of you to work on the case together and boom, all the arguing and petty fights would be a faraway memory. sam had to contain his grin when he mentioned that interviewing the families is more of a one person job than going to the morgue. his grin didn’t leave his face even as he mentioned that he was better with comforting grieving families than either you or dean.
no words were spoken between you and dean in the car ride towards the morgue. in all honesty, you never knew what to say to the man. he was always angry, finding something to get mad about and always finding a way for it to be your fault.
truthfully, maybe that’s why you hated him. he never let you explain yourself, always jumping to conclusions and blaming you for the smallest things. if it wasn’t for his quick temper and communication issues, you’d probably have a huge crush on the man.
it was dean winchester at the end of the day. and as much of a dick as he was to you, you witnessed those moments he had with sam or with a family member or victim on a case where he wasn’t an absolute dickhead. it was sad really, how much dean hated you. sam spoke up and down that you and dean would be a great duo, yet you never got to prove him right or wrong since his older brother couldn’t go five minutes without arguing with you.
although, something you weren’t aware of was that dean’s thoughts were very similar to yours. he didn’t know why you got under his skin, yet he couldn’t stop thinking about you for weeks after you would leave.
the man knew there was nothing wrong with you. he was just stubborn, and pushing people away before he got too close to them was his specialty. what if you became someone special in his life? what if because of that, you died, and then dean would blame himself for the rest of his life.
it was easier to keep you at an arms length than to get too close, and yeah sam would say he was being childish, but dean didn’t really care. you hating him and staying alive was better than him meaning something to you and that being the reason you were dead.
the trip to the morgue was awkward for the better part. you were trying to rid your mind of any thoughts you had on dean in the car and the man in question was trying his best to remain a good foot away from you. both of you could tell that something had shifted in that stupid ten minute car ride, but neither of you wanted to bring it up.
sam knew something was up when he met with you and dean again. it wasn’t even close to his end goal, but he knew that he was getting close to the feud between you and dean to finally be over.
his final shove was suggesting that you and dean check out the home of moira carlson while he goes to talk to the sheriff in charge of the murders. an argument raged on, but begrudgingly, you and dean left together to go investigate the number one suspects home.
dean had gotten to the home in under ten minutes, and now you found yourself and dean sneaking around the back of mrs carlson’s home to slip in the back door.
a scoff could be heard behind you. and as you turned around, you saw dean with an exasperated look on his face. “jesus woman, can you breathe any louder?”
the pettiness of dean’s complaint just had you rolling your eyes, turning back so you could make your way to where the sliding back door was; unlocked thankfully.
moira carlson’s home definitely screamed evil witch who enjoys killing people. occult items and witchy like items were sprawled around the living and dining room. a big pot in the kitchen alongside weird looking herbs also tipped you off. you would’ve mentioned how cliche all of this was if dean didn’t drop and shatter a statue like a dumb ass.
“are you serious!” you exclaimed, whipping around to look at dean’s hunched figure, trying to clean the broken pieces of the statue in a hurry. “can you not be a complete oaf for one damn second?”
the eldest winchester just laughed humourlessly, standing back up with all the broken pieces in his hand. “i’m not the one stomping around like an ogre. she can be home for all we know.”
“coming from the guy with the cinder blocks for shoes.” you scoffed, both you and dean looking down at his monstrous boots. “all of this complaining is really rich coming from you, dean winchester.”
it seemed that at that very moment, dean had enough of your guys’ bickering. with a wild look in his eye, dean flew off the handle in a way that you probably wouldn’t be able to describe in full accuracy ever again. he started off with a disbelieved “really!” and then ranted on for longer than you ever could’ve pictured.
“how is it possible that you think i’m the one always complaining, miss whines a lot.” your eyes buggered out of your head as you looked on past dean. “you know, i’ve been keeping my cool for sammy’s sake but you are really a piece of work. i know i’m not the best person to be around 24/7 but cmon, can you not try and be civil for once?”
he kept going. yet you weren’t focused on whatever dean was saying, for moira carlson, in all of her evil witchy goodness, was coming up behind dean with a spell on her tongue that did not look friendly at all.
“dean.” you muttered, watching as the now ghastly looking woman got closer. he didn’t listen though, just threw his arms in the air and let his hands reside on his hips like a child. “oh so mature y/n. go on and interrupt me-“
“get down you idiot!” your body smacked down to the floor just as the witch threw dean across the room. poor bastard didn’t even have time to turn around. attempting to take shelter behind the sofa, you grabbed on to dean’s sprawled body and shuffled across the floor while trying to shoot at mrs carlson.
somehow, you got the two of you behind the sofa, propping dean in a sitting position before resting your body over the couch so you could take a shot. dean was frantically texting sam, warning his brother about what danger you two were in while wheezing in the air that got knocked out of his lungs.
with a mighty wave of her hand, the witch blew the couch into two pieces. dean’s body slumped back to the floor, too bruised and in pain to allow the man to even move a muscle. a loud cackle could be heard as mrs carlson moved in on dean, ready to deliver her final blow.
she was about to, if it wasn’t for your gun going off at the perfect time and striking her right in her forehead. the woman slumped to the ground beside dean, the man in question shimmying as far away from her as possible before you rushed over and propped him up on the nearest wall.
“oh god.” you mumbled, watching as dean nearly coughed up a lung. you knew he was okay, he took worse beating than this. it was just the fact of seeing him get thrown around like a rag doll that had an emotion bubbling to the forefront of your mind. one you never thought you’d experience towards dean.
waving you off, dean sat himself up straighter and took a deep intake of air. “i’m okay y/n, it’s fine. though you probably just saved my life.” dean all of a sudden had the realization that he didn’t need to be so closed off all this time. you could easily handle your own, and having someone like you would probably be the best thing that ever happened to him.
a sheepish blush rose to your cheeks as dean stared at you longer, and suddenly, you realized that maybe the man wasn’t as bad as you initially thought. deep down, you cared about him. yeah, you two could fight like cats and dogs, but so does everyone. at the end of the day, you would always be there for dean and he’d do the same for you.
“i’m sorry for how i’ve treated you these past couple of years.” your random word vomit had dean snapping his head up, eyes wide and mouth agape as he stared at your nervous features. “i know you have your own way of doing things and i shouldn’t pester you about everything. it sucks that you probably still hate me, but can we please work on us-“
“i never hated you.” dean cut you off so quickly it was almost like he couldn’t bare hold down those words any longer. your nervous face turned shocked, and suddenly dean had the confidence to say what he always wanted to. “ever since i was young, every person i’ve ever cared about either leave’s or dies, and i somehow just knew that you were special the first moment i met you.” a somber smile appeared on your face, and you found yourself moving closer and closer to dean as he continued to speak.
“i’m sorry i never gave you a chance sweetheart, but would you give me one now?” you didn’t have to be asked twice, for in an instant you perched yourself in dean’s lap and smashed your lips onto his.
dean didn’t take long to reciprocate your actions. hands moving to go around your waist and nestle in your hair while your own gripped tightly onto his t shirt. dean’s mouth was exploring all the places he wished he could’ve kissed you sooner. your soft lips, all around your face. when he moved on to placing sloppy kisses on your neck, you felt the vibrations of his voice against your skin as he kept mumbling. ‘so perfect’ and ‘you’re so beautiful, everything i could ever dream of.’
unknown to the two of you, sam had just walked in the front door and was ready to defend you all against the destructive witch. though to his surprise — and slight disgust if he was being honest, he stepped into the living room room to see you and dean behind a destroyed couch. the two of you were heavily making out and dean just put it upon himself to wrap his one arm around the underside of your ass, hoisting you further up on his body and giving it a firm squeeze in the process.
“well fuck.” sam mumbled to himself, slightly gagging up his salad from lunch as he watched dean pull your head back by a tuft of your hair and start leaving trails of hickeys down your neck.
“yeah, that’s enough of that.” the youngest winchester just silently mumbled to himself as he walked back outside the front door, leaving you and dean in the middle of a random house to sort out all of your pent up feelings in a way he definitely shouldn’t be seeing.
#supernatural#imagine#dean winchester#sam winchester#supernatural x reader#fluff#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester x reader#dean x reader#dean winchester one shot#dean winchester x you#dean
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Not to word vomit on you but I can't stop thinking about Oliver wanting a love story like Tarlos and how it all accidentally lined up.
Knowing that Carlos and TK were about to move in, and then Carlos made that romantic gesture and TK got scared because it was, "too good to be true."
Carlos is left, confused, puzzled and nursing a broken-heart but still just as in love. What do you mean that TK and Carlos saw a future together, one got scared at that prospect and left before Carlos was the one to leave??
What do you mean that happened after Oliver said he wanted Bucktommy to have a love story like Tarlos; where it was always going to be them?
Then you consider Oliver saying that we might see Tommy and Buck interact during a call and it'll be awkward and who can't help but think of TK and Carlos running into the furniture store and seeing each other for the first time in weeks.
Anyways, sorry to be delusional in your ask box. I'm deep within the Tarlos trenches so this is all starting to look eerily familiar lmao (it could also be Tim is out of ideas, which is most likely the case)
Please feel free to word vomit on me always, I live for it.
Receiving this ask has actually prompted me to share some thoughts that I’ve held back from sharing, just because I wasn’t sure if it was worth it to throw more speculation into the void. But this message is so lovely, and I agree with it so much and so… okay I will share some of my mixed bag of thoughts about this whole situation.
Firstly, I adore Tarlos and LS (even if I don’t post about either much), TK is my baby, and the interesting thing about them for me is that I wound up caring for them more AFTER they broke up and got back together. If Buck and Tommy’s story is formatted as a rom-com, TK and Carlos are a tragicomedy. TK, the heartbroken recovering addict thrust into an entirely new city, a new career, who doesn’t want to let himself get too close to something good because he is misery incarnate. Carlos, the hopeful hopeless romantic who sees TK and doesn’t see something that needs fixing, but someone who his love could help heal. It’s such a gorgeous story, and the symmetry of both characters shockingly losing a parent in a tragic way is painfully beautiful. I LOVE their love story.
That brings me to Oliver and Tim’s comments. Throughout the Buck and Tommy relationship, my belief that this would be Buck’s final relationship only ever wavered twice. The first time was in the immediate aftermath of their first date (I spent the whole episode thinking that Tommy was actually reintroduced to kick off the bi awakening plotline and Buck was not acquiring a boyfriend) and the second time was towards the tail end of the summer hiatus when I legitimately began to doubt Lou would want to come back given everything that transpired. Other than that, I had full faith that this was it, this was Buck getting off the “hamster wheel”—Tim’s words, not mine.
I had confidence for a few reasons. 1 – the story was always handled with care onscreen and gave us no reason to think they weren’t going to work out. 2 – the chemistry was insane, and I knew it couldn’t just be me because an entire fandom was born. Tim and tptb must have seen what we saw. 3 – the supplementary information funneled to us through articles and Tim’s social media, literally up until post-8x06 never seemed to indicate that their relationship was headed in this direction. A big part of that was the comparison to Tarlos.
In order to protect myself (should I name the list of shows, movies, couples that I’ve fixated on that wound up playing out in dissatisfying ways?), I am awfully pessimistic. The post-episode interviews, articles, + hearing a bit from LFJ and OS has me wondering if this was some mass hallucination. Did we truly cling to something good and blow it up, run with it? Was this always the plan? I’ve wondered if because S7 was so short and S8 required that other characters get the spotlight first/other stories needed to be told and wrapped, and if because of production and scheduling and whatever external reasons, did their relationship wind up having a longer life than was ever intended. Were they ever supposed to make it to six months? Were they ever supposed to make it past the fucking wedding? I have been asking myself this stuff a lot. Alternatively, did something happen that made them want to or have to part ways with LFJ? So many questions, and I’m not sure we’ll ever know.
But… then there’s the delusional side of me, and the reason I haven’t totally abandoned hope is because when I was watching 8x06 live, EVERYTHING in me told me that this is a necessary section of the rom-com formula. Even the call-backs throughout the episode made me feel like the writers are so painfully aware, and that the narrative wants these characters to be together (Miceli’s, Abby, basketball, going to the movies, calling an uber, the loft kitchen, “you’re not ready”)—the motifs were absolutely popping off. I did not think it was the end when the episode ended. I wondered when and how they would find their way back to each other to fulfill the rom-com genre, but what I did NOT expect was to open social media and see articles framing this as the end. I wasn’t surprised when I found out who wrote the articles, and listen—if they bait one side of the fandom, can’t they bait the other? I still have some hope, because at the end of the day, anything can happen with network television. Maybe this is all part of the plan, and the interviews should be taken with a grain of salt. I just don’t know.
Interviews with Tim and Oliver from day one positioned the Buck and Tommy relationship as a queer love story devoid of trauma. Okay, well… huh. From where I was sitting, there was A TON of explicitly queer trauma exposed in 8x06. Their “hurdle” is tied utterly and completely to queerness. Tommy runs because he is a gay man who doesn’t trust that his bisexual boyfriend should “settle” for him, and who would rather be alone than heartbroken, and if that truly is the last of Tommy, it has to be one of the coldest and cruelest exits we’ve ever seen on this show. Do they simply not realize how deeply traumatized both characters come off in that episode, or is it all part of the plan? If the interviews positioning this as the permanent end of bucktommy should be taken at face value, shouldn’t the other interviews that position them as a rom-com (with the formulaic third act breakup, boils and all) be taken as the truth as well? If there was some misinterpretation, why hasn’t Tim said anything—he clearly knows a lot of fans were hurt by what they watched. He must have seen the outrage—why radio silence? Did we truly blow this out of proportion? Are the wheels coming off behind the scenes? I need a tell-all at this point lol
Thank you for the lovely ask, I’ve been sitting with these thoughts all week so this was a good excuse to finally articulate them. <3
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Paste Magazine: 'Dragon Age: The Veilguard‘s Creative Director Talks Restoring the Lore'
Rest of post under cut due to length and possible spoilers.
"“I was the one cinematic person who always snuck their way into all the writing meetings because I love storytelling,” [John] Epler tells Paste. “I love narrative, and they wanted me to be Narrative Director on the franchise.” When the Creative Director position opened up later on, Epler was primed for the role thanks to his experience across multiple aspects of game design. ‘They wanted someone who had a good relationship with the people on the team, who could work across disciplines, and who knew the story,” Epler explains. “You know, knew the franchise and its storytelling. Because I think for Dragon Age in particular, narrative is such a core part of the franchise’s identity. They wanted someone who could operate in that space, but also knew how to work with gameplay, work with design, work with art, and that was something that, with both QA and cinematics, I had learned to do. I think just a history of being always willing to do whatever was necessary and also having good relationships with most people on the team helped me out.” As creative director on Veilguard, Epler worked with a team that fluctuated in size from a dozen to several dozen depending on which phase of development it was in. And given Epler’s history with cinematic design, that team worked closely with narrative to craft the kind of epic story Dragon Age and Bioware are known for. “Storytelling is huge, probably the biggest part of Dragon Age: The Veilguard,” Epler reminds us."
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"Paste: When you’re bringing back a series after a decade, how do you decide what threads to pick back up on, which characters to use, which lore to focus on, etc.? John Epler: It is going to sound very cliche, but it is true: It honestly comes as we build it. We knew a couple of core parts of the story. From the end of Trespasser, for good or for ill, we pretty much determined where we were going and what we were going to be doing. It was about the chase, the search for Solas. Solas had been very clear in his ambitions to end the world at the end of Trespasser. And, you know, at the end of the very final scene of Trespasser, we stabbed a knife, a dagger, into the map on Tevinter. So we kind of knew we wanted to go to Tevinter. We knew we wanted to chase Solas. Now that said, as the story started being constructed, and we discovered, okay, where else do we want to go, what characters make the most sense in this story, that kind of determines what lore threads we want to start pulling on. So without getting too much into spoilers, obviously, Scout Harding has a story that’s very focused on the dwarves and their history; Shery Chee started writing Harden’s ark, and realized, okay, this is actually something we’re going to want to dive into more deeply. Belarra’s story is very focused on the ancient elves, not just the gods, but who they were. So that became a lore thread we wanted to pull on. As far as returning characters for us, it really does come down to who has the most to say about what’s going on in the world. Who is the most likely to be involved in this particular story. And I think, most importantly, this is something that we always talk about, is who has more to say in their story, whose story isn’t over. Because one of the things that I don’t necessarily want to do, I don’t want to bring back a character just so they show up and then disappear. That doesn’t necessarily do that character justice, but it also contributes to what you do see in some franchises, which is a sense of small world syndrome, where there’s literally 30 or 40 important people in this whole world, and they all somehow know each other. But again, you know, you see Morrigan in the in the previews, and as we’re writing the stories like, well, of course, Morrigan, who is the daughter of Flemeth, who was at least an aspect of the goddess Mythal, one of the ancient elven gods, she probably has something to say or something to do in a story about the last two elven gods escaping. So, yeah, it comes down to who has something interesting to say, who has something more to say in their story, and who do we feel makes the most sense for where we’re going and what we’re doing."
"Paste: Sticking to the long gap between the last two games, what are the challenges in trying to make a satisfying continuation of that story without making it impenetrable for new players who maybe weren’t old enough to have really played Dragon Age in the past? John Epler: Well, I think it was funny because, on the one hand, yeah, the challenge is, you’re trying to tell another chapter of a story that’s been dormant for at this point nearly a decade. But it’s funny because I do think that actually ends up working to our benefit. For the second question, we cannot assume anything about what players remember. Because even people who were playing Origins, were playing Inquisition, all the DLC, they may not have done so for quite some time. And obviously some players are going to like—I mean, I see it all on social media, people doing their final Inquisition playthrough before Veilguard, which is great, but you have to assume that people don’t remember everything that happened. You have to re-onboard them back to the world, back to the lore, and you’re also bringing in new players. I think honestly, for Veilguard, one of the things that’s worked the most to our benefit is that this is a continuation of that story, but the context changes so dramatically within the first hour. You know you’re going after Solas, you know the first mission. We’ve always said we wanted it to feel like the last mission of a different game. But then you get to him, the ritual crumbles, the gods come out. And now, even if you’ve been following this story up to this point, for everyone, it’s just a sharp left turn. Solas is no longer the central antagonist of this at this moment, it’s now these two new figures, which means Rook, you know, you as a player character, but also the player themselves… You need to bring them back into this story, because nobody, including the people who’ve been playing forever, know what’s going on at this point. So it’s actually a really great way to do the first couple of hours, because you can’t assume everyone is coming into it with the same level of grounding in the story itself. Some people are gonna have more lore. And one of the things we do try to do is, anytime we introduce a proper lore term, I use Venatori as an example, we always try to pair it with a more commonly understood phrase. So “Venatori” and “cultists” always go together in the first few hours of the game. “Evanuris” and “elven gods” always go together in the first few hours of the game, but done in a way that doesn’t feel like the game is like, “Hey, don’t worry, we’re going to tell you everything.” It feels natural the way the people in the world talk about it. So you encounter Strike and Irelin, two of the Veil Jumpers, early on, and they use the terms interchangeably in a way that allows players who don’t know as much about the world to get what all these things mean. Like I said, it’s just the context of the stories. The story shifts so dramatically in those first couple hours that everyone is catching up, even the characters, even, you know, Harding is still trying to figure out what the heck is going on."
"Paste: Speaking of what’s going on, in Veilguard we have a new character as the protagonist, Rook. What’s happening with the Inquisitor and the protagonists from the first two games? What are they doing in this world now, assuming they survived their games? John Epler: One of our storytelling philosophies is, for us, especially when it comes to importing, is unless we explicitly say so, assume that those characters are still around. So what we do, because this is the story of Solas and the Inquisitor has a very direct tie to Solas, the Inquisitor does show up in Veilguard. I’m not going to tune into spoilers, or what the role is, but it would have been very strange for us to tell the story of Solas without having the Inquisitor involved, because, again, they were part of that story. As to the previous two protagonists, they’re still around; that said, their personal arcs, their stories that they were part of in their games, aren’t as directly tied into this story, either narratively or geographically. We’re now in the north of Thedas. So the Hero of Ferelden, who you know, if your hero survived, one of the things we talked about is they were looking for a cure to the Calling. They’re not going to necessarily be involved in this because they weren’t tied to the elven gods, and the blight is still present elsewhere. And Hawke, depending on what you did in Inquisition, may be deep in the Fade, or they may have gone to work with the Wardens and also engage with the Hero of Ferelden at some point. So we’re not going to say much about them because they’re not directly related to the story, but we want players to understand the fact that we’re not saying anything about them because they’re still alive. They’re still doing something."
"Paste: A lot has changed in the world of games and game design in the last decade. How has the creative process of creating a Dragon Age like Veilguard changed over that time? How was making Veilguard different than Inquisition? John Epler: I’d say the biggest change for me has been leaning much more heavily into pre-production on everything. So one of the things that we’d done on Inquisition, I was a cinematic designer on it, we didn’t really have the sense of storyboarding, of previsualization the way we do now. But with Veilguard, one of the things we did very early on is we built the entire story in Twine so we could play through and see the interaction points, see the word branch, and get the sense of how it was flowing, how it was coming together. Beyond that, very heavy use of previsualization, whether storyboards or actual white box, in-engine—or, I say “in-engine,” but, you know, in Maya—models, moving together, figuring out how these shots work. But I mean, ultimately, a lot of the same processes are in use now that we did then. Writing does peer reviews, they still do the same peer reviews. Take your work, you put it in front of the group, and you basically say tear it apart. Let me know what works, what doesn’t work. But I do think the other thing that’s been a great change since Inquisition is there’s a lot more sense of… if you’re building a level, you’re not just bringing in the level designers and level artists, you’re bringing in the gameplay people, you’re bringing in writing, you’re bringing in, you know, all these different groups to kind of build the feel, build the shape. Not to say Inquisition wasn’t collaborative, but I will say, as someone who worked on it, I felt much more like each pod was kind of an entity onto itself, you know, doing this thing, but not really touching the other parts of the game. In Veilguard, we very much wanted people to understand how their work fit into the whole that we were building. So there was a lot more sense of collaboration. And then, you know, more practically, COVID happened while we were making this game and brought work-from-home, remote work in general. I’m doing this interview from my basement right now, but in general, people are working more distributedly, so there becomes a much higher premium on communication. And like, we use Slack pretty extensively, and the sense of like, talking to people as much as you need to, as much as you can communicate broadly, and information sharing, I think, has become a much bigger part of it."
"Paste: So having the different departments less siloed, like it used to be, how has that impacted the day-to-day experience for a Bioware employee. Are they working more or less hours now that things are more collaborative? John Epler: I think it depends on who you are. And, I mean, I’d say generally less but again, it depends. I will say for myself, I have difficulty because of work-from-home. And this is a personal thing. I don’t always have the best separation between work and life because sometimes it’ll be like, nine o’clock at night and you’ll be like, oh, you know what? I just had this really great idea, I’m going to hop on and do something about it. That used to mean driving back to the office. So I will say now I’m not in the office, which is great. For me, one of the greatest things about this has been, I have a personal rule of I don’t ever do work between the time my kids come home and when they go to bed, which means I get to be fully involved as a parent. But then, like I said, 9:30 comes along [and the kids are in bed], and, you know, I think because I’m creative director, it’s a little bit different. I gotta jump in and be like, oh, I want to do this. So I think, you know, it depends on the person. But I think what it’s done is, in general, allowed a lot more freedom in defining your hours. And we do have some people who are not morning people, so maybe they don’t get up and jump on as early, but then I’ll see them later at night, and they’re doing the work that they would have done. And I think that freedom for me has been, and I think I can speak for a lot of people, has been probably the best part of how things have changed."
"Paste: So something else that’s changed in games over the last decade, I guess it really became standard right before Inquisition came out, and it’s something that’s been a constant problem for many people who are creatives in many different mediums. But some of the fans and fan accounts online and how they react to games and designers and games media, starting with what they call GamerGate. What are your thoughts on that type of fan interaction and how has it impacted the Veilguard team? John Epler: Anytime you get fan feedback, the question I always ask is, what is it that they’re actually saying? And, you know, sometimes it is literally what’s coming out, what they’re typing. But a lot of times, from whatever group it’s from, there’s a sense that they’re speaking to something deeper, something that’s, you know… I think ultimately, for me, it comes down to understanding and being confident in your vision which means you take the fan feedback, you can look at it, you can decide what you do or don’t do with it. But one of the most—I don’t want to say challenging, but one of, I think, the easiest traps to fall into is a feeling that you need to be, “oh God, they don’t like this, and they don’t like this, change this, change this.” And I think there’s a sense of, if you have a vision that you’re comfortable with, are confident in, you continue to stick with that vision, you can make make adjustments, make tweaks based on what people get excited or don’t get excited about. But I think the other side of it is, when you’re releasing news, you’re doing press events, you’re talking about the game, you’re only giving people a small slice and a decision that may, for them, like, “I cannot believe that, why would they do this,” makes a lot more sense when you know the context of the decision as a whole. And I’ll say it for myself, one of the bigger examples of this was when the Yakuza series went from action to JRPG, turn based RPG, and I’m like, “Oh, this is so weird. I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about this. You know, this feels like a very strange shift.” When I played the game, like, “oh yeah, holy smokes, this makes so much sense.” They made it make sense narratively. They made it make sense from the gameplay perspective. So I always try to remind myself, like we know the game as a whole. We know all the pieces and how they fit together. When you get that feedback again, you can look at it. Some feedback is obviously better than others. Some feedback is more, you know, is more interesting, and more does more for us than others. But again, it comes down to know the game you’re building, be confident in the game you’re building, and don’t try to design by committee, because ultimately, everyone has a different thing that they want out of the game, and a lot of people, even themselves, will have two very contradictory things that they want out of a game. So you have to be careful not to overreact and water down what you’re building into something that I would describe as, you know, mushy. You don’t ever want to be in the mushy middle. You want to make a strong statement with your game and how your vision evolves, and stick with that."
"Paste: Where do you hope to see Dragon Age go from here? John Epler: Honestly, I love telling stories in this world, and I think one of the fun things about the ending of this game and some of the seeds that it sows for the future is the sense that everything you thought you knew, maybe you weren’t as right as you thought you were. And that stuff like using the unreliable narrator. It’s fun to be able to take that and apply it to things that you as a player experienced, and then see that there’s an additional layer. Context that you didn’t have at the time that now throws into questions some of what’s going on. So again, I’m trying to be as vague as possible to avoid spoilers. But I do like the idea of—because one of the things, the other side of it is Thedas is one continent in this world. There’s still a whole other world out there. And I think, you know, for myself, I kind of want to know what’s out there. I kind of want to know what’s going on in a world where, over the last 15 years, Thedas has almost ended the world three times by themselves. If you’re from a different continent, how are you feeling about that? I’m gonna guess, probably not great. So I think there’s a lot of fun stories to tell there. We haven’t said much about the rest of this world. So there’s just this giant blank canvas for us to start playing in, which I think is, for me, the most exciting thing about moving forward with this franchise."
[source]
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#long post#longpost#morrigan#queen of my heart#solas#strife#covid mention#dragon age 5#(note: i just want a tag to start filing things under which are about the possible future thats all ^^)
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Thoughts on the final few Emmrich romance scenes below. T’is quite long, sorry.
Now, I am not one that likes the idea of going to bed angry or upset with your partner. But, in terms of this game, and the events within it, particularly at this section? I understand why.
This game is themed on Regret.
If you take Emmrich with you during the run to Ghilan’nain, he makes an attempt to apologise for the argument. But both he and Rook know that this is not exactly a good time to have that conversation. She promises to speak with him back at the Lighthouse. He accepts that choice.
I don’t know about how your games played out. But, my game did something beautiful and had no romantic combat dialogue trigger after the argument and up until this apology attempt. Which would be understandable for a couple who has just had a pretty big disagreement. They’re angry with one another and hurting.
It was only after Ghilan’nain had trapped him and my Rook released him, that it triggered again. After the “Emmrich! You’re okay!” “Thanks to you, dearest!”
(Listen to the utter relief in Rook’s voice here, btw)
And then Solas springs his trap card.
And Rook is lost in the Fade.
If I remember correctly in my hazy aftermath of those final missions, it’s implied that Rook was lost for several days. Enough time for the team to create the fake lyrium dagger. I don’t know about you… but I see Emmrich hyper-focusing on this work to try and stop himself from losing his absolute shit in fear.
He agreed to join this group in hopes of seeing and studying ancient magics and beings.
And here’s this pretty, young thing. Wild and free - bringing a little bit of chaos into his well-ordered world.
He finds the love of his life. His soulmate. The flame of his heart. The most magnificent thing that has ever happened to him.
And now he’s lost her.
Her promise of speaking to him later, of them fixing everything after their fight… disappears with her. And his regret of not saying anything… of not just apologising when he had the chance… eats at him.
He feared he lost her forever to the Fade.
But then, by Rook’s own reflection and sheer tenacity, she escapes the prison. Something Solas couldn’t even do without preparing a replacement.
He has her back.
But… Solas cursed her. He needs to make sure the Wolf’s magic is gone. So, he organises a trip to the Necropolis to use its enchantments to ensure she is safe. She is whole. And, there is no trace. She escaped clean and of her own mind. She was able to self-reflect and escape the Prison of Regrets. A prison for Gods.
She is the most remarkable person he has ever known.
The love scene. He finally knows and accepts her love here. She clawed her way out of hell for them… for him. He no longer doubts her love, her affection… that she wants him just as much as he does her.
He allows her to pull him up… pull him to her. Initiate intimacy. Allows her to lead. Another way of showing him that, yes… she wants this.
(And, of course, they would fuck in a coffin. Something gloriously gothic about that.)
Afterward, is wonderfully domestic. New lovers waking, asking if the other would like breakfast. Perfectly happy in this new development. Reassuring each other that hey, this is it. They are truly together now. Everything they do… will be together.
I love you, my darling Rook
No man alive is more fortunate than I
Speak the word, Rook, and I shall stand by your side
They will face the fury of a god-like tyrant, knowing that they will always have each other’s back. He will never leave her side.
He is hers, and she is his… forevermore.
I have loved… truly and honestly loved… this romance. I fear I have spoiled myself. Something about this couple has ticked every single box on my ‘shipper list and has its spiritual claws dug deep into my heart. I honestly don’t think I can even attempt romancing someone else on another playthrough. At least, not for a while.
So I want to say a huge thank you to Sylvia Feketekuty. What a brilliant mind, to create such a wonderful character and romance. Emmrich has to be one of my most favourite Dragon Age characters ever. This romance is one of my most favourite BioWare romances ever. I have adored every second with them… went through every emotion with them. It has been a beautiful experience.
Intimate and Sensual. Perfect description. 10/10.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#da4 spoilers#datv spoilers#emmrich volkarin#emmrich x rook#emmrook
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Quote from a post: "the things created within fandom aren’t real - an individual fic can’t cause actual, material harm to a reader, even if it contains tropes that would be harmful or distressing if they happened in that reader’s real life; an author’s use of certain tropes or interest in certain characters is not indicative of their actual morals and values in real life; thought crimes are not real crimes - but fanfiction is produced by human beings who are themselves products of the societies and communities in which we all live, and these societies and communities all have flaws and failings.
which is to say, those of us who prefer to read male friendships as romantic do need to be aware that, no matter how enlightened on gender and its foibles we think ourselves to be, we are nonetheless influenced as modern humans by a modern tendency to discourage platonic physical and emotional closeness between men - especially straight men - on the grounds that two men having this sort of relationship is inherently queer and, in being queer, implicitly sexual [an understanding of queerness which is another powerful societal influence on our thought, even if we know we don’t agree with it.]"
Okay this is from a big post from a big fandom account here please don't speculate who it is this is not about them specifically and has nothing to do with them i genuinely respect this poster and they are nothing but a supportive space and don't have any anti-nonsense. But I wanna talk about this point that they are making "the society is queering straight friendships" which is something also the anti-fujoshi crowd is saying and honestly I can't agree with that point.
I don't think its us the people who make fandom are queering the relationships between two straight men but the patriarchal system we live under and straight men themselves are doing it to themselves. They can't show love and affection to each other lest other dudes will call them gay not because there are secret fujoshis around that sexualize them. They can be vulnerable period lest everyone calls them whiney like women. I feel like (and most of the things I say here are vibes, not facts) men having close friendships with other men are green flags, and most women are excited to see men who have exact the strong relationship that are portrayed in media.
I'm confused by this talking point to be honest. I also understand that by saying everything I said above I sort of said the same thing as the original poster. In a sense that society is the problem here and we live in a society as we know, but... idk I feel like what they say is "we live in a society where everyone by default is sexualizing male friendships" which sounds like the standard anti-fujoshi talking point to me.
And regarding the point of romantic relationships being prioritized over platonic— I feel like is a complete bullshit to be honest.
Romantic relationships are prioritized over platonic ones across the board. Straight couples leave their straight friends behind when they get further into relationship too! I don't understand this impulse to constantly talk about romantic vs platonic thing when its about queer ships, and maybe there is somewhere straight ship discourse about romantic vs plantonic but its not as big as with mlm or wlw ships.
And honestly even with this take I feel like romantic relationships are also not prioritized but rather are more encouraged. And there is difference between encouraging and actually prioritizing I think.
(I want to add here that I'm not aroace so maybe its a blindspot and from that identitys point of view the dynamics might be different)
In reality I think both are equally hard to obtain and maintain. I always felt like the fandom being so shipping focused was not about people being hellbent on romance but just the fact that good love stories are few and far between both in fiction and IRL and we can't help but try to make something at least remotely good, or interesting or satisfying.
Again, my main problems is: 1) I don't agree that romantic relationships are prioritized to that high degree over the friendships like everyone claims. 2) I don't think that every single person is actually a secret fujoshi waiting to make any straight male friendship gay. 3) Fandoms are romantic ship centric because people just want more narratively satisfying romantic stories that are underrepresented in media (or they don't get to experience it IRL) rather than they are vehemently against platonic ships.
I don't know this hopefully came out coherent.
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The person who wrote that sounds like a pretentious twatwaffle, and I am so sick of seeing otherwise reasonable people spout that crap. That's been true since the 90s and probably before.
The reality is that Western culture enshrines male friendship as the highest form of affection possible. This goes back to the Classical world. And, yes, they were probably fucking too back then, but the thing that all of the media is about is friendship.
The entire backbone of Western culture is built on the idea that men are spiritually, biologically, inherently more capable than women of this highest form of relationship. Romance is the big thing for women because we're not eligible for The Pure And Holy Friendship Between Two Men.
The epidemic of male loneliness is real, but we haven't gotten any less "Bros before hos". Fandom and m/m shipping behavior are irrelevant to this.
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Furthermore, fandom has plenty of people who don't focus on shipping.
AO3 was built by slashers, so ship type is a top-level category, and the site obviously signals that it's about shipping and particularly non heterosexual shipping since you can filter out het.
Past sites often had more metadata that wasn't around ships (e.g. FFN's genres that work like bookstore genres) and almost never let you get rid of het. You might have been able to filter in The Gay, but straight stuff was literally unmarked.
~We do need to be aware of~
Bite me.
This naggy phrase is everywhere, and nothing good comes of it.
The only thing we need to be aware of is that Blorbo is great and s/he should be mashed together with Other Blorbo. If that's in gen adventures, you do you.
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Love Maze
Vi x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Helping Vi realize that she can break out of this loop that's she's in
Warning: Slightly Angsty and slightly out of character
A/n: Arcane season 2 just came out and i'm still reeling from everything, just had to make this cause i was inspired by episode 3 it broke my CaitVi heart
It was just one of those days,
There weren't many days where you would get the house all to yourself to enjoy so you didn't waste the chance to relax when your roommate said she was going out to run some errands.
You were currently enjoying your day re-reading through your favorite book series until you were disturbed by a sudden knock at the door.
You skeptical and slightly annoyed you went to go answer the door. Opening the door is when you came face to face with the pink-haired woman you came to know as Vi. She almost looked slightly surprised to see you at the door but kept her composure
"Is she here ? " Vi asked worriedly
"Hi nice to see you too, but unfortunately your girlfriend isn't here, she went out to do some stuff" you replied
She lightly sighs before saying, "Well if that's the case then I guess I'll wait for her till she gets back. That's fine with you, right ?" She says walking through the door before you can get a response out. You sigh closing the door behind you knowing she would stay and wait either way.
There was an awkward silence between the two of you guys so you took it upon yourself to try and get a conversation going.
"So....what brings you here ?..Is it the same issue again ?"
Vi glares at you but after some time does lightly nods her head to confirm your suspicions. You kept quiet lightly sighing to yourself.
The cycle had become almost predictable at this point: a fight would ignite, Caitlyn would storm off ghosting Vi, and then, a few days later, Vi would return, offering half-hearted apologies that seemed to smooth things over just enough to delay the inevitable crash. Caitlyn never seemed to learn, and neither did Vi. But the truth was, they both were just playing the same tired game, and you wanted all this nonsense to come to an end once and for all.
Here,” you said, slipping behind the counter to make a couple of drinks. “Let’s take the edge off. I’m sure you could use something stronger than water right now.”
Vi didn't argue. She sank down onto the couch, taking a deep breath, clearly exhausted from everything. As you handed her the glass, you kept your tone light, almost casual. "So, how's work? How’s your family? Anything to distract you from… well, everything?"
She gave a weak laugh, taking a sip of her drink. "Work’s fine. Same as usual. Nothing exciting," she muttered, looking down at her hands, clearly distracted. "Family’s... okay. You know how it is, always got something goin on"
You nodded, pretending to listen, but your mind was already working. "Yeah, I get that. But seriously, when’s the last time you actually did something for you, Vi? Like, something that made you feel alive? Not just for Cait, or for your job, but for yourself?"
That was a hook. Vi wasn’t even aware of it. She leaned forward, a little too eager to talk about herself, to talk about anything that didn’t involve the draining mess she was in. She starts going into detail about the many things she's been interested in but never got the chance to due to feeling like she's alway has to balance a thousand things in her life.
"Well if I'm gonna be real honest with you Violet, it sounds like this relationship is just another thing holding you back" you say with sincerity.
"It’s just... it’s not that simple, okay? Violet shot back.
me and her have history. We’ve been through a lot together. And—" she paused, trying to gather her thoughts. "Yeah, things have been tough lately. But we love each other. I know she has her issues, but I really think we can fix this. I don’t want to just... give up on everything we’ve built."
You almost rolled your eyes at the word history—as if that was supposed to make everything else okay.
"Vi," ."You’ve been ‘fixing’ things for months now. You keep telling yourself it’s just a phase, that Cait’s going to change, that things will get better. But they never do. You are stuck in a loop and you can’t keep pretending like nothing’s wrong."
"So, what? You want me to just leave her? After everything? You’re not even trying to help me,You’re supposed to be my friend. You should be supporting me in making this work, not... pushing me away from her!"Vi’s jaw clenched, her chest rising and falling with each breath as if she was holding back.
Her words stung just a little bit but you knew how to respond back. "I am doing this because i care enough to tell you the truth Vi, you deserve so much better than this. Don't let Caitlyn stress you out so much, especially when there's already a lot on your plate".
"You just don't get it. You don’t know what she's like when we’re together,” she says, still feeling obligated to defend her relationship.
"Maybe i don't and i might be wrong about all of this, but all I'm saying is that if you were my girlfriend id be the one coming to apologize and id try to find every possible way to make it up to you." You say leaning closer towards Vi
She sputters trying to find the words to defend herself, every single word unfortunately dying in her throat.
"I’d be the one begging you for another chance after acting like a dumbass. I'd spoil you and not let you do anything till you forgave me" You continued.
The silence that fell between you and Vi after your last words was thick with unspoken things. Vi feels as if her heart is beating out her chest as you continue to close the distance between the two of you guys.
"You do deserve better, Vi," you said, your voice soft but certain. "And when you’re ready, I’ll be here for you. Not just as your friend, but... more than that, if you want. You don’t need Cait to feel loved. I’m not going anywhere."
Vi looked at you, her eyes wide, and in that moment, it was like everything clicked for her
You wanted to kiss her. You wanted to show her that everything she needed wasn’t in Cait. That there was more for her. That she didn’t have to settle.
Just as you leaned forward, your lips barely inches from hers, the door to the room creaked open, and the sudden sound of keys jingling at the front door broke the fragile bubble that had formed between the two of you.
You two quickly back away from each other, moving to the opposite sides of the couch, averting eyes as Caitlyn walks into the room
A/n: Sorry for the cliffhanger and sorry to all the caitvi shippers, i love them too...i just can't pretend that i wouldn't want vi if they broke up fr.
#arcane#arcane season 2#vi arcane#vi x reader#vi fanfic#vi x caitlyn#vi x y/n#lesbian#bisexual#wlw#vi x you#arcane league of legends
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i still haven’t processed the last few preshows bc wtf do you mean they went to six flags and phil cried after riding kingda ka
#do you think they’re that couple that can’t get off of each other in lines#ik they have loved a good roller coaster in their time but I don’t blame him lmao ik so many people that just can’t do them after their 20s#bc of the rattling and headaches#i will enjoy my youth while I can because I fucking LOVE roller coasters#anyways dan mentioning roller coaster wiki deep dives in the newlyweds video made me feel so seen bc#i was obsessed with roller coaster content when I was like 12#and I would literally spend hours watching YouTube videos of people reviewing and riding famous ones#and was weirdly fixated on kingda ka#never been to an amusement park in america only disney parks but#yeah been thinking about this and haven’t even listened to the preshow yet#for someone who is so unnormal about them there’s been too many casual lore drops#dnp#dan and phil#phan#tit tour#tit preshow
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Tf1!Megatron x Cybertronian!GN!Reader: Plan C - A Deal
Part 3
Part 1, Part 2
TW/Tags: Toxic Relationship, Trapped Relationship, Megatron is a toxic partner, implied sex, couple make out sessions, Doubledealer cameo, Megatron truly loves reader, Doubledealer gets his aft handed to him, I believe that’s all.
It’s been a few months once more. Almost a year now since that night. Since then. He Showed you many times to not disobey him even when you don’t realize it over the days. Eventually you became more “ reluctant” to his advances.
You were just waiting until you were finally with sparkling to at least get a break.
When you woke up in your berth. You noticed Megatron wasn’t recharging next to you. Megatron was sitting on the berth, his back towards you as he looked down. You’ve noticed he does this at times mostly at night as he gets flashbacks of that very day.
The “betrayal” of Optimus Prime. And the many things he went through before finding out his life was a lie.
You soon sat up without much thought. Once you fully sat up. His helm lifted up. No longer hanging down as his optics wondered a bit. Still not facing you. “Sweetspark.”
His voice is deep as always but with tiredness tinted in.
”Come…..sit on my lap. I wish to hold you before our day starts..” His voice still makes you jump. You can’t really say no. Now can you? And so you got up next to him and moved to where you’re on his lap.
Sitting on one of his thighs as his arm and cervo soon moves around your waist. You didn’t notice until now that his other cervo was holding a data pad.
He’d keep looking at it and groaned as he closed his optics. “I have to meet this mercenary named..”Doubledealer”…..after my time ruling and making a name for myself. He wants to “team up”..Psh.”
He then tossed the data pad at the foot of the berth. Rests rests his cervo ontop of your thigh.
”He really thinks I would want to have a truce with some mercenary. What an old fool.”
You stays quiet. Only looking down at your cervos on your lap as he spoke, not daring to say a word to tick him off more.
“I guess I have a meeting today. He held the bridge of his nose as he sighed and his now red optics looked down at you. You looked at the floor waiting to hear what he’ll say next.
His cervo now holds your chin, lifting your helm to look at him. “Maybe it‘ll be alright if you’re with me. Every powerful man has a partner he adores. Heh…..Megatronus did with Solus.”
He then kissed your forhelm and sighed.
His optics closed as the arm around your waist moved. His cervo going to your panel, gently cupping it. I do have the privilege of having a lovely bot in my arms. On instinct your cervo gently held his arm with the cervo against your panel.
He chucked, his dermas going to yours. Giving you a gentle kiss as he closed his optics. Whispering I love yous between them. You returned the kiss.
Soon pressing his glossa against your dermas asking for access….
You accepted…
And so a make out session commenced. Your cervos on the side and back of his helm as his own rested on your lower back and waist. You’d both continue and hold onto each other.
The only thing heard in the quiet room is your kisses and small moans.
But this didn’t last long.
The moment was actually….peaceful. But then of course. He gets a comm from Soundwave. Needing him in the throne room.
He had to pull away. His cervo moving from your chin and answered the call.
“Alright we’ll be there.” The call ends and hearing that you got up. He didn’t seem to mind as he stood up and started walking to the throne room. You stayed close behind.
As you both walked you noticed how dark the back of the throne was. He continued to walk and you see a bunch of bots in the center of the room.
A bot standing in front of them full of confidence. He must be Doubledealer. Soundwave was waiting in the dark. The three of your optics lights being your only source of bright lights. Soundwave passed Megatron some data pads.
After he looked over them a few times he chuckled. Then gives them to you.
”When I snap my fingers you pass them to me in order. Understood? Oh and stay behind the throne to catch them by surprise. They won't expect me to be noticing them. Understood?”
He whispered to you. As he stared down at you. Your face covered in the red light of his optics as you nodded. He then gave his grim.
Almost soft smile as he stand straighter and walks from behind the throne as he spoke.
“Doubledealer. You sure are brave to come aboard my ship….”
He then sits in his throne as Doubledealer then spoke. Doubledealer having a grin on his dermas. You stayed behind the throne as he ordered. The conversation lasted for what seemed like an hour. That’s when you hear his snap.
Soon you walk out from behind the throne. Holding the data pads professionally. Soon putting one in Megatrons cervo that he had out for the data pad. You stay next to him holding the other data pads as you wait for him to need another.
You tried to pay no mind as Doubledealer and a few of his mechs stared at you as Megatron spoke.
”I’ve read that in many parts of the city and so forth. While I am intrigued…..why should I trust some mech like you?…..”
the two continue to talk for a while longer as you stay there. Megatron taking data pad and data pad reading over them once more.
Doubledealer continues to speak. Sounding confident and snarky at times. You only continued to look down and kept your cervos together. Before you knew it Megatron was angry…Really angry.
Then throwing the data pads to the grown and stand up as his voice roared at the bots. You see that they were a bit startled. You watched him as he took a step down the stairs toawrds the floor. From his throne.
He continues to speak. His voice still roaring as the others back up a bit. You only watch still next to the throne as he continues.
Putting his hands behind his back as Doubledealer tried to speak for himself and the others in his team.
”Not only are you disrespecting me on my ship! You also disrespected my hospitality of even excepting you on my ship! Giving you energon.
And what do you do?! Complain and mock me for my youth and worst of all!” He picked up Doubledealer by the collar of his chest with an iron grip. Causing him to grab at Megatrons arm with his cervo. The other mechs with him watching in fright and horror.
“Hey! Hey! Wait!”
”You….keep making eyes at my Partner!!!”
He then throws him into the ground. You were surprised as well. Soundwave staying close by to watch over you. Megatron continues to yell before kicking the bot further towards his comrades.
After a moment of silence as Doubledealer try’s to stand up. Megatron makes his way to the throne and grabbed your cervo taking you with him.
As he sat down, he placed you on his thigh once more. Both of your leg between his as his cervo keeps you close resting on your thigh. His other on the arm of the throne. You know what he wanted as he spoke. So before Doubledealer and the others looked at him as he spoke.
You rested your cervo on his chest and the other around his neck. The cervo resting on his shoulder. You looked at them as Megatron continues to speak.
As Doubledealer stood up Megatron only continued to talk down to the bot. That’s until Doubledealer spoke and megatrons hold on you only gripped more tightly on you.
Your chest close to his face as Doubledealer spoke.
After the two spoke Megatron chuckled. Doubledealer said something that really pleased him and Megatron soon spoke as his cervo gently held one of yours.
”I suppose I’ve been too hasty. I suppose you can help us with my cause. But if you so think of trying to disrespect me once more. I’ll have my guards be sure to teach you and your little minions a lesson.” That last sentence is more of a threat as his voice grew a bit deeper there.
He’d then kiss the back of your cervo as his optics closed while Doubledealer stuttered as he spoke.
“Now leave…….Everyone!” Doubledealer, his team, and the other decepticons soon leave the room. Megatrons cervos still holding you as everyone leaves. Once the room is empty you felt his dermas pressed on your chest.
”…..I hope I didn’t scare you too badly sweetspark….” He places another kiss on your neck.
He’d move the cervo once holding yours to your panel. “I’d have to learn to be a bit more….patient? Though I’m sure I’ve been doing that for long enough before…” You stay silent for a moment. “Megatron when I wished to join-”
“You are just a Conjunx, or have you forgotten?”
You soon felt a chill in your body. His red optics burning into yours as he stared at you. You slowly shook your head. “No…Megatron.” You said in a whisper.
“What was that?” He asked.
“N…no Seeetspark..”
He let out a sigh. Gently leaning his helm down and pressing his dermas against yours. You returning it as one of your cervos rests on his chest once more. You two continue this as as he moves your hips in front of his.
Your knees on both side of his hips as he pulled your frame against his. Little did you two know. A certain bot….the leader with optics on you before….Luckily for him…
Megatron doesn’t notice this time.
Ugh Brian Tyree Henry what is your voice doing to me !!!???😩
Y’all have been asking for this. I hope this fordilled your hunger for some more Megatron angst and toxic relationship with reader. Haha.
As always I hope you all enjoyed this and a repost is always appreciated. And like with the last part be sure to ask either through comments or messages for a next part if you guys want one. I am full of ideas that I will continue to serve for fellow fans of transformers. If you guys want this to also get more “Intimate” in a “certain way.” Just let me know. I don’t judge I’m the one writing.
Anyway hope you all have a good rest of your day and enjoy the next post!
#transformers one#transformers one x reader#x reader#transformers#transformers x reader#tf one megatron#transformers one megatron#megatron x reader#transformers megatron#megatron
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The Underworld Beneath Piltover chapter two: Unspoken Bonds
chapter one is linked on my master list
summary: After a couple of weeks of working with silcos men, you’re tired, one specific night you go home and hear them talking about you in the corridor. And sevika does not like the way they are talking about you.
warnings:drunk men being creepy towards you(don’t worry sevika is your knight in shining armor) and alcohol
notes: maybe I could’ve split this into two separate chapters🤷🏽♀️ who knows, chapter one and chapter two were only posted so close to each other cause this has just been sitting in my notes.
But if you want to be apart of my tag list just dm me or comment!
As the days passed, you fell into a rhythm of sorts in the Undercity. You worked tirelessly, patching up the injuries of Silco’s men—bruises, burns, cuts, and broken bones—but there was one person who never seemed to need your help: Sevika. She was always around, yet never injured. She stood on the periphery, watching as you worked with her men, but when it came to her own wounds, she refused your care. It became almost a ritual, this unspoken distance between you and her.
The others, however, were a different story. They’d come in, grinning with all their bravado, eager for your attention. You’d fix them up with quiet professionalism, trying to ignore the constant leers and comments, but it was hard. It was hard because their words, their glances, were a constant reminder that in the eyes of many in the Undercity, you were just another object to be used, a healer with nothing more to offer than your hands and your beauty. The men would speak freely, their voices loud and crude, commenting on how "good" you looked, how they'd love to see more of you, how soft your hands must be...
It made your skin crawl, but you never let it show. You didn’t have the luxury of reacting. You needed to do your job, needed to stay focused.
One night, after a particularly long shift, you found yourself at home, exhausted and alone. The distant noise of the Undercity hummed through your window, but you found no comfort in the quiet. Instead, you were stuck replaying the words of the men. The crude remarks, the way their eyes lingered far too long.
It wasn’t until later that night, when you heard shouting from down the hall, that you realized the bar—the Last Drop—was packed with Silco’s crew. They’d been celebrating some small victory, and the noise spilled out into the hall like a river of chaos. But then, you caught the unmistakable sound of Sevika’s voice rising above the others. It was sharp, commanding—louder than you’d ever heard her before.
“Knock it off," she snapped, the tension in her voice unmistakable. "You think she’s just here for your damn amusement? She’s here to help, not for you to ogle. Keep your mouths shut."
It was the first time you had ever heard Sevika lose her composure. Her voice, usually cold and unflappable, trembled with an anger that was both surprising and—if you were honest—comforting. For the first time, you realized something: Sevika wasn’t indifferent to you. She just... didn’t know how to show it. She was the wall that everyone leaned on in the Undercity, but she hadn’t built the capacity to rely on anyone else. Not until now.
The men muttered, some laughing nervously, others too drunk to care, but Sevika’s command had silenced them. You could hear her footsteps as she approached the door to the bar, her voice cutting through the remaining laughter. She muttered something else you couldn’t quite catch, and then there was silence.
The shift in the air lingered, and you couldn’t help but feel something stir in your chest. It was a strange mix of emotions—gratitude, confusion, and an undeniable pull toward the woman who had always kept her distance. Yet, in that moment, Sevika had done something rare: she'd protected you in her own way, not through words, but through her actions.
You didn’t know where this would go, but you were starting to realize that whatever it was, it wouldn’t be easy. And maybe... maybe that was what made it so compelling.
As the last of the laughter died down, the faint echoes of clinking glass and rowdy shouts drifting off into the night, you stepped into the corridor, your fingers still numb from the long hours spent tending to the wounded. The noise from the Last Drop had only gotten louder, but the thudding of your heartbeat was what kept your thoughts focused. You had barely processed what had just happened when the sound of footsteps from further down the hall drew your attention.
Sevika was alone, standing still at the end of the corridor, her eyes narrowed in your direction. There was no one else with her now—no men, no rowdy backup. Just her. The tension between you seemed to hang heavier in the air than before, the weight of her intervention earlier not fully sinking in until now. Her usually impassive gaze softened, the fierceness that had commanded the room earlier replaced by something unreadable.
You stood there for a moment, unsure whether to stay where you were or to approach her. The quiet seemed to wrap itself around you both, heavy with unspoken words. Finally, you stepped forward, a quiet sigh escaping your lips as you pulled your door open.
“Sevika,” you began, your voice barely more than a whisper. “I just… wanted to say thank you.”
Her gaze flickered to you, and then she looked away, as though suddenly uncomfortable under your attention.
“It’s whatever,” she muttered, her voice rougher than usual. “Don’t make a big deal out of it.” She shifted on her feet, clearly wanting to brush off the moment. But there was an edge to her words—something that betrayed the mask she tried to wear. "I’m not doing it for you."
You didn’t know whether to believe her or not, but you nodded, taking her words at face value. She didn’t seem like the type to wear a facade for long, and even though she was trying to make light of it, the way she'd stood up for you—no one else had ever done that. Not here.
“Well, thanks anyway,” you said, the warmth of the words surprising even you. “I appreciate it.”
Her shoulders stiffened for a moment, and she gave a short nod before turning away. Her retreating footsteps echoed down the hall, but the sting of the silence seemed to carry her presence with you still.
The next day at work, it felt like things had shifted in a way you couldn’t fully understand. The usual crude remarks from the others—loud and persistent as ever—seemed to bounce off you in a way they hadn’t before. And though Sevika remained as stoic as ever, you noticed a few lingering glances. One of those, when your paths crossed near the supply room, made your heart skip a beat.
You’d brought something with you that day. A bottle you’d managed to find tucked away in a dim corner of the bar. Old Deloux scotch—an obscure but highly sought-after bottle that everyone in the Undercity had heard about but few had actually seen. You knew it was a rare treat, and you’d caught Sevika eyeing it in the past, her face betraying the barest trace of longing when she mentioned it.
You slid the bottle across the counter toward her when she was in the middle of patching up a man with a nasty burn.
“Here,” you said, offering the bottle like an unspoken truce. “For you. I know you’ve been wanting to try this.”
Her brow furrowed, but she didn’t hesitate to take it, her fingers brushing yours just long enough for you to notice how unexpectedly warm they felt. She glanced at the label, her lips curling into something of an appreciative smirk.
“Where’d you get this?” Sevika’s voice was low, curious, the edges of her usual tough exterior softening.
You leaned back, crossing your arms and giving her a sly smile. “Well, being from Piltover has its advantages,” you said, leaning in just enough for the words to sink in.
She chuckled—a low, almost begrudging sound that was as rare as it was unexpected. “Always full of surprises, aren’t you?” she muttered, but there was something almost... grateful in her tone.
“You owe me nothing,” you said, your words laced with a quiet challenge. “But I figured you could use a bit of a break.”
Her gaze lingered on you for a moment longer than necessary, and then, with a nod, she uncorked the bottle. "Don’t expect me to share," she said, but the playful glint in her eyes made it clear she wasn’t as serious as her words suggested.
For a moment, you could almost forget the tension, the lines between you, the things left unsaid. For just a moment, it felt like a step toward something uncharted, something unspoken, something rare.
And maybe, just maybe, it would be worth exploring—whatever it was.
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PAC : SITUATIONSHIP (NO.1) (18+)
Am I ignoring any dealbreakers?
One last time... I need to be the one that takes you home...
ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF)
Y'all are 2 avoidant attachment style living the perfect relationship. Comforting each other, cuddling, PDA, popping up at each job or a from of each other house. Even making love to each other ... no labels is truly a bliss...
Am I ignoring any deal breakers?
PILE 1
No
What's their energy on 'commitment' – is it giving 'ride or die' or 'ghosting ?
They care for you. They have affection towards. You are their comfort place. The person they can vent when they need something but at the end of the day… they will never love you. You ain’t the one they want to change for. They are still hooked on a past situationship where the person they were dealing with was not settling for their bullshit. Requiring them to change. Having these big conversations, telling them and having faith in them for change. When it comes down to it, you are one of the best things that has happened to them and they want to keep you close for the intimacy and support y’all build for each other. They know they deserve more and you ain’t it…babe.
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)
PILE 2
Y'all are on your period.
Am I ignoring any deal breakers?
Yes
What's their energy on 'commitment' – is it giving 'ride or die' or 'ghosting ?
Your person is messy. ‘’ They almost 40 acting like little bitch’’. They act like they never had a good thing, a day in their life. They act like a child. They can’t choose what toy they want. Like they want the money so they dedicated all their time to their job. They are workaholics. Always putting work before you. There’s a meeting, work trip, a golf day, etc. They also want to be providers, that’s why you are there. They are paying your rent, bills, pet medical care and maintenance day. But you are giving BIG BOSS energy. You can get it on your own. You did not welcome them in your life for money. You wanted love, respect and good sex. Technically they are doing it but… they have yet to claim you (officially). Than what do you see on your timeline, they out here fucking stripper and flying out escort. Men you need to choose. What do you want ? Work, family or freedom ? Out here treating you like an option … smh.
1 ) PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)
PILE 3
You left for college (even study abroad). You came back with your diploma reading to found a job in your hometown and excited to meet her/him again. Just to stare at the broken version of what you said goodbye a couple years ago. Is truly breaking your heart and all you want to do is nurture them.
Am I ignoring any deal breakers?
No
What's their energy on 'commitment' – is it giving 'ride or die' or 'ghosting ?
Is giving worshiping you. Is giving more than commitment … is giving devotion. They want to be somebody you can lean on. They want to be your provider and protector. They want to pour even more nourishing energy than you ever gave them. They want to be your safe haven. They want to evolve with you. They really want to build you a house. Wherever you want and you can decorate it whoever you want. They want to be the one you call when your car is acting funny or you need help changing a light ball. Bring it on : the marriage, the engagement ring, the honeymoon, even the future children. They are on whatever you are into. They want to grow with you. They would love to go through couple therapy so they can get the tools to make this forever last. Y’all don’t have any problem but they want to ensure they are doing everything right.
PREVIOUS READING
2) Wanna know the love story the universe has for you? 💫 In 8 parts, I spill all: first meet, first kiss, confession, sexy time, and more. Don’t miss out! 👀💖 (LINK)
3) ALL READING ON SALE (70% OFF) (Recent review 🎀)
#tarot#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#divination#tarot cards#18+ tarot#pac#pick a card#pick a picture#pick a pile#situationships#crush#love tarot reading#love story#free readings#free tarot#free tarot readings#future spouse#future spouse tarot
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Some of y’all desperately need to read this and look real closely at your view of Mel and her dynamic with the other characters
Wasn’t going to go on a big rant but you know what since that other post is gaining traction yeah I think I will. So big long rant under the cut. Lolll
I feel like. A lot of people might tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ but to me it is that deep.
I don’t have a problem with JayVik or it’s shippers like. At all. I just think some of them are à really good demonstration of like. Every bad thing when it comes to fandom ever LMAO.
Once again I am (supposed to be) writing a whole big long essay about this already so I will try and keep this kind of short and sweet and it might be a bit lacking but wtvr.
I think a lot of JayVik fans tend to be white queer people. Someone left a tag on my OG post that said basically ‘my take is I’m a faggot and I don’t have to care about a character if I don’t want to’ and no hate to that person cuz you’re right, but this is exactly the kind of stuff that made me make that first post.
I feel like a lot of white queer people have an issue with seeing outside their own identity? If that makes sense? This is seen time and time again with the way some of them behave when big movements happen online, some have a tendency to centre themselves and whatnot so i think it’s kind of the same thing.
It makes total sense that a queer person would prefer queer ships and would prefer JayVik over MelJay, that is not a crime. But I do think part of that is because they can’t relate/identify with Mel or see themselves in her like they can with Jayce or Viktor.
I hate to also make it about feminism but i think a lot of you guys are super like. Male centred, like just in your attraction which once again, not the issue not a crime. But i think it’s also why CaitVi, which is a canon queer ship, although popular is still not quite as popular as JayVik despite being canon. Women fetishizing gay men in fandom is not something new, which I think might play a small part in it- I’ve seen a lot of people especially back in s1 infantilizing Viktor and acting like he had no agency or independence and that he NEEDS Jayce to take care of him (that’s another thing. Ableism(looks at you with my eyes)) and they also do the same thing with Jayce where they act like he had 0 agency with any decisions he makes and that he’s like a big dumb baby who doesn’t know anything politics. Hey, guys. That’s a grown man.
My main issue isn’t that people prefer JayVik over MelJay it’s just that some shippers demonize Mel to an insane degree, blame her for getting in the way of their ship (this is also happening right now with Maddie- there’s a leak going around saying that she gets with Caitlyn and people are so upset that this character is getting some INSANE hate and I feel like that’s the same thing going on.)
they blame her for ‘stealing’ Jayce etc etc like. Idk. You don’t have to ship MelJay but I wish more people would appreciate Mel just as a character- imo she is super interesting and has a great story but she’s only ever seen and ‘the other woman’. I’ve seen people say she isn’t like, well characterized and that her story entirely revolves around Jayce which. Yeah she’s definitely heavily involved with him in s1 but she’s clearly got a lot more going on than just that and you would know that if you GAF 🗣️🗣️
for just being. Who she is. I think Mel deserves more attention just in the fandom and it’s just frustrating. People making memes about Jayce going insane over Viktor leaving but like. Mel also just got fucking kidnapped guys. His lover has just vanished without a trace why is nobody also talking about that !!!! Why can’t he care about both these people at the same time !!!!!!!
Anyway I’m not nearly well equipped enough to talk more in-depth about like. Any of this but I do think the demonization of Mel and refusal to see her relationship with Jayce as it is can often times be boiled down to racism like straight up. And also things like the fetishization of gay men in fandom and just things like that are sometimes what can lead to female characters- even the well written ones to be shelved and pushed aside in favour of their male counterparts.
Obligatory ‘not all JayVik fans’ obviously a lot of you are awesome, shouldn’t have to say this. If I’m not aiming for you, you shouldn’t be getting shot.
#I love meljay I just don’t think they should be together bc I’m not a fan of Jayce#I really want them to go more into her dynamic with her mom and the people around her and obviously the whole kidnapping plot without her#having to be there for Jayce the whole time#I liked that aspect of safeness with each other in s1 but I can’t see it becoming anything but burdensome for both of them this season as#Jayce gets his own ideas that are born out of mis conception and stuff and Mel forms her own as well#I do really want to see her interact with cait or jinx or something so bad idk why#also I may be just reading far into it as well but a lot of those same fans also ignore ekko as a character or “”don’t see it between him#and jinx#even as an explicitly tragic romantic undertone in their whole dynamic that they would eat up if he wasn’t black#don’t even get me started on the way caitvi is treated by some of the fans#some of y’all are too fucking quick to brush them aside now that their toxic yuri instead of actually looking at their charactwrs#again if an mlm couple had their breakup scene#it would not be stopped talking about once
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Read Me to Sleep, Let Me Drift Away
Kidnapper!König is a monster but I love him. I love how evil he is, I love how intelligent he is, I love I love I love. He's perfect. I adore him. Now, about this fic, I've read both Jane Eyre and Wide Sargasso Sea. If you've ever read Jane Eyre, read Wide Sargasso Sea with caution. It completely changes the novel.
Anyways, have fun with Kidnapper!König!
Tws: kidnapping, toxic relationships, stockholm syndrome
Wordcount: 1.6k
Art from This Post
Story Below the Cut
Read Me to Sleep, Let Me Drift Away
You’d never seen König so frantic before. Your calm, collected and menacing… fiance (?) was hurriedly puttering around the house, moving ornaments aside to dust under them before hurrying back to pick up the vacuum and go over the room again. If his anxiety weren’t so infectious, you might have thought the scene to be rather amusing.
“König, you already vacuumed this room three times,” you nervously whispered.
“But what if there’s still some left?” he muttered under his breath as he went over the persian carpet once more, “it needs to be clean.”
“Isn’t it clean enough?” you asked as you shifted from side to side, over and over as you watched him fret over nothing.
König turned off the vacuum and cracked his back with a good stretch, “It won’t ever be clean enough. Not for Mama…”
“Is your mom really going to be that upset?” you stepped aside to let him crouch down and dust the outlets.
König paused, considered your words for a moment, then turned back to cleaning and said, “She won’t. But I don’t want to be the messiest one of us. I want to at least be as good as Klara.”
“Klara?”
“My youngest sister,” König explained, “Friedrich is the eldest, than Stephen and Lisa. I was the fourth born, and Klara was the last.”
“Sounds like a full house,” you mused.
König laughed as he walked out to the kitchen, “It was! It was always busy. Stephen used to like doing ‘science experiments�� and Friedrich got into a heavy metal band. Mama used to say she’d go deaf before she hit menopause.”
“What did your dad think about it?” you leaned against the doorway.
König glanced at you briefly, “Papa’s opinions didn’t matter very much.”
You watched him silently. He wiped down the polished rosewood table again and again, ignoring the heavy questions that hung heavy on the tip of your tongue.
“So,” you grunted as you pushed off the doorway to step to König’s side, “are they coming soon?”
“Tomorrow,” König grunted as he worked a stubborn spot, “I’m cleaning today so I won’t have to do much tomorrow.”
“Do you want me to help?” you asked as you glanced over to the spotless kitchen.
König shook his head, “No, I can do this. You just relax. There’s some good books in the living room.”
You nodded and padded away. You walked through the sprawling manor before you managed to find the living room. The entire room was wallpapered in bookshelves, each one nearly scraping the top of the tall ceilings. You walked to the nearest shelf and looked at the ancient tomes. Books of old, some with spines cracked like white crested waves and others with leather bindings that had been peeled off through the ages. When you pulled some out as carefully as you could, you’d find their covers in different language.s You saw some in German, of course, but others were in Spanish, French, Italian too. You came across a couple that looked like they were written in latin. Some had strange writings in sitting curiously on the pages that looked like Cyrilic, others looking like kangi or hanzi, you couldn’t tell. You wondered if König could actually read all these books. By the plentiful appearances of bookmarks and dog ears, maybe he could. You might have suspected they were for show had you not seen the notes in German in the margins. They all had the same handwriting, all matching your König’s carefully crafted calligraphy.
You managed to find a book in English that you could take over to the window bench to curl up into the bohemian pillows and blankets. You managed to find a lightswitch overhead to provide a warm light to read by, a stark contrast to the cool, drizzly weather outside. You liked the rain sometimes, but you noted that your energy was always a bit low when it came by. You hated to admit it, but you’d missed the sun.
Lately, König had been lax about putting you in the basement. He’d only just let you have free reign of the home the other day, actually. You hoped it was because he was in a merciful mood, but knowing König everything was carefully crafted. It always was, wasn’t it? He always had plans, always carefully crafting his web to keep his puppets strung along to his desires. You were just another doll in his hands, carved from wood to his shape of perfection. You only hoped he saw to it that a smile was drawn on your face by the end.
You tucked a stray bookmark into the bindings of your book and looked out the window. You’d never actually seen the front of the house. You had seen the back, seen his sprawling gardens and his great shed on the back corner of the property, hidden behind some straggly pines like some perching cat. You’d asked to see it once, but König had refused you flatly. He said it was best to stay in the gardens, stay where it was comfortable and safe. What would you want with an old workshed, anyways? You had glanced over his shoulder at the dilapidated building. A part of you wondered if you stared long enough into the dark windows, would you see something staring back? You looked away as soon as the thought crossed your mind.
Sitting on the window bench, it was perfectly comfortable and warm inside. König kept the fireplace running now that autumn had crept over the land. You watched the yellow and orange leaves flutter in the light wind outside before flowing away in the wind. In the distance, a great red maple tree curled over one side of the driveway, hiding the rest of the route from view. You wondered how long it was, how far back it stretched. If you followed it, how long would it take until you found some other traveller? How long until you found another home? Something told you that anyone you came across out here would have different intentions than König. You suspected far, far worse.
You put the bok in your lap and sighed. It had been so long since you’d lived your old life. A part of you wondered if your parents ever called after you. Your friends certainly didn’t notice your absences. In fact, the person who cared most was probably your boss, furious that you’d up and left without a word. You could imagine her snapping and snarling into your voicemail only to slam down the phone and wonder what had happened to their faithful employee. You knew that despite how cruel and heartless your boss could seem, they approved of you and valued you in your position. You wondered if they ever hoped you were alright, wherever you went.
You heard heavy footsteps before you saw König turning around the doorway. He clucked his tongue as he swaggered over to your side.
“I told you to go to the living room, not the library,” König hummed.
“This isn’t the living room?” you asked.
“No,” König shook his head, “the living room is on the other side of the hall.”
“The one with the fireplace?” you asked.
König nodded and put a hand on your shoulder. He peered down at your lap and nodded approvingly, “I didn’t take you for much of a reader.”
“Well, there’s not much else to do,” you explained as you turned the cover from his sight.
“Why did you choose this book?” he asked as he plucked it from your reluctant fingers.
“I heard it’s a good sequel,” you said nervously.
König fluttered through the paperback pages with an amused chuff, “Not an official sequel. Charlotte Bronte was dead for over a hundred years before Jean Rhys published this.”
You watched him smile as he flicked through the book.
“I didn’t know it was that long,” you admitted.
“It’s an interesting book, this one,” König mused, “you got a decent ways in. What are your thoughts about the moths?”
“The moths?” you asked.
“The moths and the flame,” König repeated, “it’s a symbol that repeats throughout the novel.”
You rubbed your forefinger and thumb together over the hem of your sleeve, “I liked it. Two lovers fated to be, but by being together it ends in mutual destruction.”
“Is it mutual?” König raised an eyebrow behind his hood, “Mr. Rochester goes on to live a good life with Jane Eyre, doesn’t he?”
“I…” you thinned your lips to a line, “he did, didn’t he.”
“I’dHe was harmed, no doubt, but do you really think that Mr. Rochester was as ruined as his late wife? I’d argue otherwise,” König flicked the book shut, “fire is a prominent symbol in and of itself. Fitting considering her end, isn’t it?”
You shivered, “I try not to think about that too much.”
“But you must, my dear,” König crooned, “the end is what makes the novel a tragedy, don’t you think?”
You turned to look up into König’s eyes. He stared back, unwavering in his declarations towards you. He tilted his head to the side, glanced at the book one final time, the tossed it back into your lap.
“It’s a beautiful book,” he said as he turned to leave the room, “I think you’ll like it.”
“Do you?” you asked as he turned to leave.
He looked back at you. His eyes crinkled mirthfully briefly, “I think you will.”
When König left, you put the book to your side and shivered. You didn’t think you would be finishing this one.
Konig Dump
Alternate Universes
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