#and they all have different opinions on what substitutes are the most realistic - i fear we just dont know anymore 😭

[messrsrarchives]

r u vegan for ur health or for the animals (if its not to personal of a question) bc due to health reasons I have never ever eaten meat or chicken or any dairy products and nobody can ever describe the taste to me :/ I want to know if someone is also like this

both !! started just as environmental tbh and then ethics and health came when i started getting more educated about it with documentaries and demonstrations etc. :))

like if you gave me chicken i'd be able to tell you that it's chicken but i could NOT tell you what it tastes like without having it yk? the best i can offer is what substitutes are the closest (the vegetarian butcher chicken breasts and the This chicken thighs are like !!! YUP !!! this is chicken !!)

i'm actually desperate to try the juicy marbles steak (sorry i'm yapping and you might not even know what i'm on about) but it's meant to be SO realistic. i'm not a substitute person really but wdym it bleeds??? wdym you can change how rare it is??? i'm scared and intrigued.

one of my friends was raised vegan and went to meat/dairy at 16 and she said that NOTHING tasted how she expected which is so interesting actually

[orsuliya]

The Rebel Princess Carry Top 8 List

Rebel Princess who?

If you are reading this list, you probably already know everything there is to know about The Rebel Princess. For all the newcomers: I advise you to strap in, watch, enjoy and prepare yourselves for any unreasonable expectations towards prospective male partners that you may acquire in the process.

Carrying of princesses or princess carries

For the purposes of this list we shall define a princess carry as an act in which person A carries person B in their arms, with one arm placed beneath either thighs or knees, the other supporting the back and the body of person B being held close to person A’s chest. Just like a groom carrying his bride, hence the alternative name of a bridal carry.

Furthermore, we shall only accept those attempts in which a defined element of lifting the carried person can be observed. A carry is a carry, a catch is a catch, no matter how delightful such a princess catch happens to be. This automatically disqualifies catches performed by Zitan and Xiao Qi in, respectively, episodes 2. and 4.

Similarly disqualified are all instances of potato sack hefts, such as the one performed by Potato in episode 4. with Xie Wanru playing the role of the sack, as well as any other hefts, lifts or carries where the carried person is not merely supported, but rather fully embraced by arms coming at them from opposite directions.

Attention! Despite the name stating otherwise, the carried person does not, in fact, have to be a princess, thus any titles carried by the carried person will have no influence on the final score.

Why Top 8

Why Top 8, you might ask. Well, there are exactly eight proper princess carries in the whole 68-episode-long drama. Which, by the way, gives us one princess carry every eight and a half episodes or 0.12 of a princess carry per single episode.

Scoring criteria

Since the purpose of this list is to objectively estimate the respective value of each princess carry and then use those results to rank all the attempts accordingly, from the feeblest to the most admirable, we are in need of a comprehensive scoring system. After some deliberations the judging panel (namely me) has managed to create exactly such a system, which was then approved by an independent third party (also me, but in a different hat). Each attempt shall receive a score from 0 to 10 points; this score being the sum of four components: Style, Technique, Hotness and Excellence. Those four main components encompass partial, specific criteria; see the explanation below.

Style: This particular component is mostly used to give proper value to such vital characteristics as artistry and flair. However, those are not by any means the only considerations the judging panel will take into account while awarding the total score. The intention behind any given attempt is to be established and subsequently used to judge how well the chosen style suits the purpose of the carry in question and whether it adequately fulfills any goals and needs that may have been expressed or set before the commencement of the attempt itself. The judging panel reserves the right to make demerits based on handling of clothing and accessories, as needed.

Technique: While proper technique of executing a princess carry is most important and ought to be assessed with exceptional care, it is far from the only criteria taken into account while rating general technique of any one attempt. After all, lifting a person in one thing and actually carrying them a very different one. Thus, whenever possible, we will observe and judge the endurance exhibited during the attempt in question; if such an observation proves to be impossible for any reason, a reasonable estimation may serve as an acceptable substitute. Moreover, since any princess carry has to be judged on its merits, the overall difficulty of any attempt must be first established, depending on the probable disparity between the strength of the carrier and the weight of the carried person as well as other factors, such as any floppiness or lack of a proper latch on the neck of the carrier.

Hotness: Recognizing that overall hotness is not a criteria that can be judged objectively, the judging panel hereby undertakes to use more precise methods of measurement, such as: reaction of any independent witnesses, if any are present, emotional reaction of the carrier, the carried person or both, whichever applies and the general mood set by any particular attempt. If any of the aforementioned methods cannot be used for any reason, the judging panel reserves the right to supplement this component with individual hotness assessments made by qualified experts (also me, but horny).

Excellence: Any exceptional elements or unique characteristics, which the judging panel feels might not have been rewarded properly while scoring the other components, will be subject to a rather subjective criteria of overall excellence.

The individual components can receive the following maximum point values:

Style: 3 points

Technique: 3 points

Hotness: 3 points

Excellence: 1 point

AND NOW TO THE LIST PROPER!

Number 8. Song Huaien gets recruited to escort a rather shaken Yuxiu to a doctor – episode 36.

Style: 0.5 points

What style can we even speak of when one of the parties involved makes no attempt at hiding their utter lack of interest in anything even remotely approaching artistry or feeling? Truly, never has there been a carrier less gracious; that the purpose of this exercise is to escort Yuxiu to a doctor is neither here nor there and serves as no excuse for the decided lack of any flair. After all, technically this is an engagement carry, seeing as Song Huaien announces his intention to make Yuxiu his main wife halfway through its duration. Moreover, he has the easiest possible dress to deal with and still manages to bunch it up, if only a little.

Technique: 2.5 points

A truly great lift it is not, although a more or less correct one, at least if we were speaking of pure utility. Still, Song Huaien manages to position Yuxiu in his arms in one move, no further jostling into place needed. Although this may be helped by the fact that she hooks her own hand around his neck even before he gets her off the ground. What is rather impressive is Song Huaien’s undeniable endurance: he not only manages to carry Yuxiu through two entire courtyards, going up and down the stairs, but also makes it look surprisingly easy. Why, at one point he even breaks into a trot. That Yuxiu is hands down the smallest female to be carried in this drama is another matter; he still does rather well and his posture leaves nothing to be desired throughout the entire carry.

Hotness: 0.4 points

There is much to be said about the utter lack of any emotion from Song Huaien other than pure unwillingness to even exist in this particular time and place. No show of strength or endurance will ever compensate for that. The witnesses do not seem to be overly impressed either; why, Awu cuts off Song Huaien’s declaration of intent and physically hurries him away, while no other person present at the scene pays any attention whatsoever to Huaien’s feat. Sheer competence might have been enough to raise the final score, if not for one thing: Yuxiu holds herself very, very stiff for most of the time, trying to look smaller and not, by any chance, lean into Song Huaien’s chest. It’s only at the very end that she makes a conscious effort to do so and that finally brings the element of positive emotion into play.

Excellence: 0.1 points

We admit that there is something rather special about the sheer awkwardness of this princess carry.  It certainly is not easy to forget this heap of stiff, sad mess.

Total score: 3.5 points

Number 7. Potato does his absolute best to show Xie Wanru his love – episode 45.

Style: 1.2 points

There is something to be said for Potato’s (faulty) confidence as well as for his single-minded intent to show Xie Wanru the depth of his care for her and Miracle Fetus. That he doesn’t properly succeed is a different matter altogether. Yet it cannot be denied that there is a certain flair to his approach, if not to the actual execution of the princess carry itself. One also has to question the validity of deciding to princess carry one’s wife while standing at the foot of the bed, although that might simply mean that Potato chose to be surprisingly realistic about his capabilities.

Technique: 1 point

The fact that Potato even manages to lift Xie Wanru, much less to a proper princess carry height, is a rather impressive feat, particularly taking into account that he is, well, Potato and Xie Wanru is no sylphid. Moreover, he really does rather well on the upswing, applying a reasonable amount of force, certainly enough to get her to the required, if not particularly awe-inspiring level. What is surprising is that - when the scene is rewatched closely - it does seem like he actually manages to lock his grip and stop Wanru on the downswing, if only for a moment. What does get him is her fearful reaction; and even then he does manage to let her down in a controlled manner. Sadly, Potato’s attempt should be properly classified as a princess lift rather than a princess carry, since there is no actual carrying going on; this makes it hard to estimate his endurance.

Hotness: 1.4 points

The judging panel would like to notify all sundry that its opinions are meant to be devoid of any personal prejudices and as close to true objectivity as it is even possible. Which means that it must be admitted that there is something rather… warm about the pre- and post-carry playfulness exhibited by both parties, regardless of the momentary fear and panic shown during the latter half of the carry itself. Moreover, the general mood of the scene remains in place in spite of Potato’s incompetence and objective failure. Truly, it is a great pity we cannot see how any of Wanru’s maids might have reacted to Potato’s shenanigans. “It’s a rather lovely moment of marital playfulness,” says our expert, “one perhaps made even more spectacular by Potato’s failure to fulfill his original goal. And really, it does prove once and for all that potatoes should be served warm, not cold!”

Excellence: 0.8 points

It may not be quite fair to award points based on the sheer unexpectedness of ever seeing this particular carry, but there you have it. Objectively speaking, Potato’s sheer excitement and playfulness alone might have managed to win the judging panel over, but the fact that a root vegetable somehow managed to pull off a princess… lift is even more impressive.

Total score: 4.4 points

Number 6. Gatekeeper steps in for Zitan and carries Su Jin’er out of the dungeon – episode 57.

Style: 1.1 points

It is debatable whether there is much flair or artistry to this particular princess carry, despite it being executed in rather dramatic circumstances and in no less dramatic surroundings. However, that is not the purpose of this attempt; what Gatekeeper is actually meant to do is to conduct a rescue, which he certainly does in a rather professional, matter-of-fact manner. There is, however, one element to his behaviour, which may seem rather out of place; notice that he stops before Zitan in such a way that Su Jin’er’s legs actually bump into Prime Minister Wen. As to whether he does it on purpose, well, that certainly seems to be the case.

Technique: 2.9 points

That Gatekeeper is a surprisingly competent man, especially for an Imperial Mook. Not only does he manage to lift an unconscious Su Jin’er from a slumped, almost horizontal position, but he also attempts it while in full mail. What’s more, he does pretty well with arranging her in his arms despite her overall floppiness and then moves around tight spaces with no visible effort. As if that was not enough, he then carries her up a great number of very steep stairs and then, presumably, all the way to the palace proper. Really, the only thing one might find any problems with is Su Jin’er’s relatively low position in Gatekeeper’s arms, especially where her legs are concerned; and even that might be the result of trying to provide more support for her head.

Hotness: 0.6 points

While an unconscious Su Jin’er is unable to express any kind of reaction and even if it was not so, she would most probably act disappointed in the identity of her actual carrier, there is something very reassuring about the matter-of-fact manner in which this particular princess carry is executed. “Competence is something rather attractive, no matter its source,” says our expert, “and there is a certain romantic air about the idea of being literally carried out of danger.”

Excellence: 0.5 points

There is something to be said for a competent substitute, although this rather novel approach to princess carries might be not to everybody’s taste. And yet it spared us from having to watch Zitan making his own attempt, for which the judges are, for one, undeniably grateful.

Total score: 5.1 points

Number 5. Xiao Qi rescues Awu from the evils of excessive alcohol consumption – episode 13.

Style: 2 points

Never has there been a carry more utilitarian in purpose; Xiao Qi makes a decision to get his wife to bed and immediately executes it, no hesitation or half-measures needed nor wanted! And yet even then he cannot deny himself that one tiny show of flair on the upswing. Why, I do believe that at one point Awu’s knees are positioned higher than her head, if only for a moment!

Technique: 3 points

There is much to be admired about Xiao Qi’s technique; he manages to lift Awu up in one fluent move, using the considerable power of that upswing to position her in one go so well that it requires no further corrections. Which raises a question of where and when he might have learned to do that, seeing as it’s the very first attempt we see on-screen (somebody must have brought Awu back from the bridge, don’t you think?). Xiao Qi carries Awu all the way to bed, which may not be a great distance, but still a considerable one. Especially as she is out of it and thus unable to help support her own weight by holding onto his neck or shoulders, although she still tucks her arm in, stopping herself from achieving total floppiness.

Hotness: 1 point

Since Awu is out of it and Xiao Qi’s face is full of determination to get his wife to bed… but for altogether too innocent reasons, there is little that can be said for overall hotness of this scene. The only witness for whose reaction we might have hoped, namely Yuxiu, is also unconscious, which forces us to ask the experts for their opinion. “Somewhat hotter than lukewarm by the sheer force of Xiao Qi’s competence in executing that carry,” said I, nodding with great authority.

Excellence: 0.7 points

The judging panel remains in awe of the exceptional fluidity with which Xiao Qi manoeuvred Awu’s body into his arms.

Total score: 6.7 points

Number 4. Zilu starts celebrating Mi’er’s birthday in a very appropriate manner – episode 22.

Style: 2.4 points

From what little we can observe, Zilu, who is a rather artistic man on any given day, is no less artful when it comes to celebrating his beloved’s birthday. A proper princess carry is just the way to go; still, there remains a question of whether a planned and possibly rehearsed carry is just as good or maybe even better than an improvised one. Zilu’s is certainly planned, judging from the way he arranges himself in the doorway and then carries Mi’er through the entire courtyard, door-to-door. What is admirable is that he miraculously manages to deal with her very difficult dress; perhaps it could have been arranged better, for it does get somewhat bunched up… but it’s a good attempt nonetheless.

Technique: 2.1 points

Sadly, we have been robbed of seeing the actual lift, all thanks to Pang Gui the Inept Ninja. Still, there is much that can be assumed based on the prelude, which we do see, and the carry itself. Zilu’s stretched out hand is undoubtedly very steady, which speaks to his confidence in the subsequent maneuver. The carry itself is rather less steady – Mi’er seems to rest rather low and even sways at one point, although that can be excused since Zilu is climbing the stairs at that very moment. All the same, Mi’er does clutch onto him rather tightly with a fully functional grip.  And yes, Zilu does manage to climb a few stairs, which, together with the fact that he carries Mi’er through the entire courtyard, is a surprising feat for a Ma prince. Those, as you know, are not particularly known for their fitness.

Hotness: 2.2 points

It is rather hard to say what Zilu’s two servants might think about his princess carry, even if they do go to their knees. What is quite remarkable, on the other hand, is that Pang Gui stills for a good moment or two, seemingly for no other reason than to observe this great feat. Unfortunately, we do not see Mi’er’s face, although it is obvious from Zilu’s pre- and post-carry reaction that he at least must take great enjoyment from the very idea of surprising his lady in this manner. “There is a tangible promise of great enthusiasm and surprising endurance right in that princess carry,” says our expert, “which raises the temperature quite considerably.”

Excellence: 0.3 points

Not a memorable princess carry by any means; there is a reason why it was missing from the original list of contenders despite the rather unexpected carrier. Still, it is a birthday carry, which certainly makes it one of a kind.

Total score: 7 points

Number 3. Xiao Qi rescues Awu from the evils of lonely garden strolls  – episode 18.

Style: 2.7 points

Excellent handling of a rather difficult multi-layered dress on Xiao Qi’s part! Somehow he manages to lift Awu in such a way as to fan out all the layers for maximum aesthetic effect, while at the same time not leaving them to hang so low as to hinder his steps. The overall style is rather sentimental, which suits their surroundings, if not the occasion itself.

Technique: 2.1 points

The lift itself is not quite forceful enough to allow Xiao Qi to arrange his wife correctly on the first try; he does have to jostle her into position. Although this is pretty understandable, seeing as they go straight from an embrace to a full carry with no space to catch momentum in between. Awu is quite a helpful princess on this occasion, holding onto Xiao Qi’s shoulder with a solid, if not overly firm grip and bringing her head close to his chest, which redistributes her bodyweight in a rather helpful manner. The distance to their bed is presumably not that great, taking into account the general layout of the house, but it would still take more than a few steps to get there.

Hotness: 2.6 points

No witnesses to be had, but Awu seems properly impressed during the lift itself. In fact, there might have even been a tiny gasp! Once properly in the air, she shows proper appreciation as well as undeniable trust in the strength of her husband’s arms. Xiao Qi, on the other hand, may look rather restrained to an untrained eye; make no mistake, though, there is undeniable pride there and a not very subtle promise of things to come in form of a smile. “Trust,” says our expert, “is a very warm feeling in proper circumstances” and we concur heartily with this opinion.

Excellence: 0.5 points

There is little else to be said about this particular carry, although there is something truly remarkable about Awu’s helpfulness and utter trust; the judges hold an opinion that a proper carry is just like a tango – meant for two.

Total score: 7.9 points

Number 2. Xiao Qi bridal carries his princess of a bride to their chamber – episode 33.

Style: 3 points

There is masterful handling of clothes and then there are miracles. What Xiao Qi is doing on this occasion can be nothing but the latter; somehow he manages to execute a princess carry while managing his own floor-length ceremonial robes, Awu’s difficult dress with exceedingly long sleeves and a train as well as both of their trailing cloaks. All the while displaying this unwieldy finery to its full magnificence and somehow not landing on his face. Although he noticeably deploys no other dramatic gestures nor tricks except for some very touching and impressively prideful sweet-talk, so it seems like this miracle does require a lot of concentration. But do we really need additional bells and whistles in this case? The judges seem to hold a rather firm opinion on that matter: a bridal carry it is supposed to be and a bridal carry it is, for it really does not get any more bridal, at least not without some reality-shattering shenanigans.

Technique: 2.2 points

Unfortunately, we are again devoid of the opportunity to see the actual lift, which seems like a true pity, taking into account the probable level of difficulty caused by all this wedding finery. Once again Awu is being held rather high, although, to be fair, rather unsteadily – for Xiao Qi, that is, not unsteadily in a particularly dangerous or even visible manner. There is also the matter of her grip; this time Awu locks her hands around Xiao Qi’s neck, which might indicate the need for further support. It is hard to estimate the distance which they might have crossed as we do not know the starting point, but it must have been a rather considerable one and those robes cannot be light.

Hotness: 2.7 points

Having female attendants literally giggle once hit with the aura of overwhelming hotness should be proof enough that this princess carry is truly something special. If it is not, then there is always the look of undisguised manly pride on Xiao Qi’s face, only further affirmed by his words. “Few things can fan the flames quicker than a prime display of manly confidence,” confirms our expert, blushing violently, “as long, of course, as it does not cross over into toxic machoism. In this case we can feel absolutely safe, there is no doubt as to that.” The judging panel, however, decided to award a demerit for a visible lack of surety or excitement on Awu’s face; although caused by external matters, it does seem to retract from the overall mood.

Excellence: 1 point

I am sure that nobody can deny that this particular bridal carry is the most bridal of them all. There is literally no further height to strive for, as far as bridal carries are concerned.

Total score: 8.9 points

AND NOW FOR OUR NUMBER ONE PRINCESS CARRY...

Number 1. Xiao Qi cannot wait to give Awu all the children – episode 29.

Style: 3 points

There is showing off your wife’s beautiful clothes and there is just plain showing off your skills at the former. Xiao Qi shows himself to be the master of both, somehow allowing Awu’s train to hang very close to its full length and yet managing it in such a way that it doesn’t hinder his steps in the least. He also does it while seemingly paying no attention to his own steps, which takes it to a wholly different level, and while at that, he adds a lot of eye-contact and even a heartbreakingly gentle nuzzle. No wonder that towards the end we can observe a quietly triumphant look under all that manly confidence… and no wonder that this particular carry gets its very own rather dramatic music accompaniment.

Technique: 2.4 points

It is rather unfortunate that we were not able to observe the execution of the lift, although there is no doubt that it is was correct at the very least. What we do see, however, is that Awu is being held very high, which indicates an application of considerable force on the upswing, something that Xiao Qi has already proven himself to be more than capable of. At the same time, the difficulty of this particular carry is rather low due to a rather trifling distance as well as Awu helping quite a lot with how she holds her body and with that gentle, yet very solid grip. However, the judging panel is forced to admit that the steadiness of Xiao Qi’s hold is truly a sight to behold; it takes a true master in order to maintain such a minute face-to-face distance without touching and yet avoid any unpleasant bumps.

Hotness: 3 points

Never has there been a carry more deserving of an NC-17 rating. Even without the prelude there is no doubt whatsoever as to the purpose of this particular exercise; the look which Xiao Qi and Awu share speaks just as loudly as five full-blown kisses would have in any other circumstances. And a smouldering look is not the only thing they share: why, at one point they seem to share the same breath, which turns the chemistry up to unimaginable levels. At the same time, this scorching hotness is masterfully tempered by a sense of pure tenderness and intimacy, which causes the judging panel to bitterly regret their promise not to exceed the maximum score for any single component.

Excellence: 1 point

This princess carry really has everything that an ideal princess carry should have, which is undeniably a kind of excellence in itself. However, that is not what convinced the judges to award the highest number of points possible in this category, but rather the fact that more than one expert has pointed out this particular scene as the reason of their own imminent pregnancy, sometimes with twins or even triplets.

Total score: 9.4 points

[all the amazing gifs used in this list were provided by the ever-generous @storge​]

[mentalhealthsessionswithmarc]

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy...What It Is And How Can It Help You.

As I mentioned a couple days ago in a previous blog that I had been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I also touched base on a little something called DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). I am now going to expand upon it, tell you what it is and how to use it to help you or someone else you love deal with Borderline Personality Disorder. 

DBT was created by a therapist named Marsha Linehan in the late ‘80′s to help treat Borderline Personality Disorder. Back then, as you could imagine, there were very little resources and very little hope for patients with this diagnosis. Since the creation of this route of therapy, people with this disorder and others have made great strides and even gained mastery over their emotional struggles. This program has also been used successfully to help treat people with depression, binge-eating, PTSD, and drug problems. It is based in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy but focuses on the root problems of a borderline. 

As I mentioned before a borderline has very complex and very conflicting thought processes. Not only that, they display an extreme lack of empathy, volatile emotions, and are extremely polarized thinkers (black-and-white thinking). What DBT trains a person to do is practice mindfulness, rework their thought processes, channel their emotions, and practice their interpersonal skills.

Inside the mind is where DBT begins. Thoughts are at the start of this process as is true of any behavioral cycle. Thoughts can be generalized into three different categories: Rational, emotional, and wise. If you are a borderline you swing from rational to emotional, and very typically the emotional mind is where they stay. Rational mind is statistical...It’s numbers, probability, deductions. Meticulous thinking is another way of looking at it. Emotional mind is all based on opinions, preferences, and all kinds of personal bias and emotional thinking. Wise mind takes elements of both and creates the solid thinking that stands the test of time. Wise mind thinking skills are what’s being taught. Someone with the disorder has to be trained on how they should react to certain situations and people. Wise mind challenges both sides of thinking to open up opportunities and trains of thought not obvious to them. It ends the black and white thinking. Wise mind basically asks the negative thinker “what proof do you have to validate that thought?”

A lot of borderlines are perfectionists and feel they are a complete failure if they falter on a task. Or they fear they will be viewed as inadequate for not being “enough” or “perfect”. Basically it trains your mind to combat these thoughts and replace them with realistic options. It also is training in dis-associative thinking. The “proof” to your feelings cannot be tied to any emotional thinking at all. It forces the person to view things in a way that’s outside of their spectrum. If you fail to have any concrete proof that your thoughts are accurate it replaces those thoughts with something of a more positive nature. Once they see that everyone makes mistakes and that the world isn’t going to end, they can apply that combative thinking technique into any and all situations where their thoughts and feelings attack them. 

There is also a lot of focus on mindfulness. In combination with replacing the negative thought cycle, being able to accept the reality of what their situation is, when and wherever, is also key. As was stated in a previous blog, the borderline has a very distorted view on reality leading into paranoid and/or avoidant behavior. Like I discussed in my article on mindfulness, the form most commonly used is the active practice, which is the one I like most. Whenever your feelings become an internal slaughter, you have to stop, regain bearing on where you are and why you are feeling the way you do. Keep in mind, since validation is something everyone with this disorder very desperately seeks, they have to be taught that acceptance is not validation. If the environment or any factor of their situation is not good, they have to learn to accept it without engaging in any negative or combative behavior. They have to learn approval is not going to happen all the time. There are have to take the bad with the good and learn to change what is bad so they can become more productive. 

Emotional regulation is also a key lesson that is ongoing in any treatment of this disorder. In times of high emotional stress or reacting to a stressor, they have to think of ways to assertively state how they feel without becoming combative or aggressive. Instead of engaging in what would be an argument of sorts, they have to come up with things like, “I feel like you mean this when you say that. Could you explain to me what you mean?” Using phrases like “I feel” or other substitutes are practiced within therapy so they can have more positive interactions with others so relationships don’t become so strained. By using these assertive, yet polite responses, not only builds confidence and rapport, but it builds a sense of empathy within the patient, which is widely needed. 

Stress management is another key ingredient. Someone with BPD is constantly stressed in one way or another. This is where the therapist plays to the individual strengths of the patient. Obviously hobbies and other recreational activities are widely discussed here. They have to find something that is uniquely theirs and use it as a way to cope. Coping strategies are individualized to the person suffering. This is key in bringing balance and stability back to the person. They have to focus on what it is that makes them happy that they can control and use it to enrich their lives.

Last but not least is training of interpersonal effectiveness skills. These are paramount as they are essential in maintaining and repairing their relationships. It basically teaches them how to regulate their thoughts and feelings and redistribute them in a way that’s concise, polite, and respectful. 

The steps in this process are described and taught in acronyms.

For maintaining objectivity in expressing your feelings: DEARMAN

Describe

Express

Assert

Reinforce

Mindful (situation, emotion, others’ feelings)

Appear Confident

Negotiate (Not argue)

When it comes to maintaining relationships: GIVE

Gentle (respond, act)

Interested

Validate

Easy in manner

For establishing self-respect: FAST

Fair (to yourself)

Apologize (when and when not to)

Stick to value

Truthful

Whenever practicing all of these in conjunction over a period of time, people with this disorder can make strides toward recovery. However, it is very strongly recommended that people who live with someone with this disease become knowledgeable and help them with their practice. Like it has been said, it takes both parties to help create a positive change within a relationship. Hopefully this article enlightened you on how to make changes to your life or help someone else see their issues through.

Until next time,

Marc

[michaelandy101-blog]

Tips on how to Mix website positioning and CRO for the Final Lead Era Technique

New Post has been published on http://tiptopreview.com/how-to-combine-seo-and-cro-for-the-ultimate-lead-generation-strategy/

Tips on how to Mix website positioning and CRO for the Final Lead Era Technique

If there’s one factor that the majority entrepreneurs have in widespread, it’s that we wish extra leads.

Certain, not all leads are good. Some are even downright unqualified. However leads are what drive enterprise, and in consequence, many people are held accountable for producing extra of them.

Out of all the lead era methods on the market, there’s one which I discover significantly efficient: search engine optimization (website positioning) and conversion charge optimization (CRO) working collectively.

Whereas this will appear apparent, you’d be stunned what number of marketing groups are actually good at one or the opposite, however fail to seek out the steadiness between each.

Beneath, I’ll share why it’s crucial to seek out alignment between website positioning and CRO, and learn how to do it in order that each of those features work collectively to drive certified leads for what you are promoting.

website positioning and CRO: Why you’ll be able to’t have one with out the opposite

Being discoverable is extra vital than it’s ever been. If a potential purchaser can’t discover what you are promoting online, there’s likelihood that you just’re main them proper into the arms of your opponents.

By now, most companies perceive the significance of getting a presence in natural search outcomes. website positioning is greater than only a buzzword, it’s a given. And it’s crucial to rising model consciousness and driving visitors to your web site.

However there’s a catch.

Site visitors doesn’t magically flip into paying prospects and income. Ask your self, when somebody clicks on an natural end result and lands in your web site, what sort of searching expertise are they having? Is your website straightforward to navigate? Are your internet pages optimized to information the consumer in direction of an motion?

Site visitors with out conversions is actually only a vainness metric. CRO is the piece that ties all of it collectively.

Put merely, conversion rate optimization is the method of optimizing an online web page to guide a consumer towards a desired motion. Usually, this motion comes within the type of a conversion. This could be a demo request, e-mail publication join, webinar registration — you get the gist.

The concept right here is to entice the consumer to maneuver additional down the marketing funnel ultimately.

website positioning is what brings folks to your web site and CRO is what will get them to transform.

It feels like a match made in marketing heaven, however attaining alignment is usually simpler mentioned than carried out.

Begin with a powerful website positioning basis

I may write hundreds of phrases on what it takes to construct a powerful website positioning basis on your web site, however that’s not what this text is about. With that being mentioned, a dialogue concerning the relationship between website positioning and CRO wouldn’t be full and not using a point out of it.

Earlier, I mentioned you’ll be able to’t have website positioning with out CRO. However this goes each methods.

Whereas it’s true that conversions are a significant standalone metric, you’ll be able to’t have conversions with out internet guests. Plus, experimentation and testing is an enormous a part of what makes CRO so efficient. It may be tough to run checks in case your web site doesn’t get a wholesome quantity of visitors. Extra on this later.

A profitable website positioning technique fuels the inbound marketing engine to convey new potential consumers to your website regularly. With website positioning, your whole marketing staff may very well be on PTO for every week and your web site will nonetheless be producing visitors by itself.

Should you’re nonetheless working to construct a robust website positioning technique, there are countless SEO resources which are out there to you.

Be intentional about your content material

Content material and website positioning go hand-in-hand.

When a purchaser goes to a search engine, they wish to discover content material that brings them a solution to their query.

As entrepreneurs, we wish to create that content material and match it to a purchaser’s particular search question. We do that via in depth key phrase analysis and on-page optimization to make sure that each piece of content material that’s revealed has a chance to rank on web page one.

Though this strategy to content material creation is efficient at producing natural visitors, generally we neglect to consider how a chunk can drive influence past simply rating primary for a key phrase.

CRO doesn’t simply apply to touchdown pages or core options pages. There are parts of CRO that apply to your long-from content material as properly.

When strategizing matter concepts and doing key phrase analysis, assign a objective to each piece of content material that you just publish. Ask your self, “what action do I want the reader to take when they land on this page?”

Construct this objective into your content material calendar and incorporate it as a call-to-action (CTA) on every web page that you just publish.

As at all times, be conscious of the reader and their place within the funnel. Somebody that lands on “The Beginner’s Guide to Marketing Automation” in all probability isn’t prepared for a dwell demo simply but.

As a substitute, information that reader towards a much less intimidating motion, comparable to signing up on your e-mail publication. CTA shouldn’t really feel spammy or overly promotional, it ought to present extra worth to the reader total.

Following this course of forces you to suppose past simply visitors — you’re specializing in conversions earlier than you even hit the “publish” button.

Check, optimize, and repeat

Person expertise (UX) is on the coronary heart of each website positioning and CRO.

In case your web site is sluggish, glitchy, and exhausting to navigate, it’s going to negatively have an effect on each visitors and conversions. The objective is to repeatedly refine your web site to make sure that anybody who lands on it has a frictionless searching expertise — thereby growing their chance to transform.

For this reason split testing is so vital.

Cut up testing, generally known as A/B testing, is the method of testing a number of variants of an online web page to find out which one converts at the next charge. It is a core follow amongst entrepreneurs who focus on CRO. You possibly can take a look at various kinds of lead kinds, CTA buttons, copy variants, and even web page layouts.

Right here’s an instance of a cut up take a look at between a single and multi-step lead kind:

Some SEOs could also be hesitant to run cut up checks as a result of they fear it can negatively have an effect on natural rankings. The reality is that Google not solely encourages testing, but it surely even has its own tool that helps entrepreneurs to run cut up checks.

So long as you’re abiding by Google’s webmaster tips, you need to see no main unfavorable influence on natural visitors because of testing.

It’s additionally price noting you could’t attain statistical significance in your cut up checks and not using a large enough pattern dimension. In different phrases, you want visitors to have correct take a look at outcomes.

There’s no exhausting and quick rule for what counts as “enough traffic” however the normal consensus is that your internet guests must be within the hundreds, at the very least. I like to recommend utilizing this sample size calculator tool to get a greater concept of a quantity that’s distinctive to your web site.

That is yet one more instance of how intently intertwined website positioning and CRO really are. Earlier we mentioned how vital it’s to start out with a stable basis in website positioning, now you understand how it matches into the larger image.

The widespread thread right here?

CRO and website positioning have a symbiotic relationship. What’s good for one is sweet for the opposite. And each are working towards the identical widespread objective of producing income.

Establish marketing funnel gaps

When wanting on the massive image of your inbound marketing efforts, website positioning and CRO might help you establish and repair any gaps in your funnel.

Let’s say you’ve got a product web page that ranks #1 for its major key phrase and generates plenty of visitors. However, while you dig into the conversion information, you discover that solely a small proportion of customers that land on that web page truly convert.

It is a purple flag that one thing is off with the web page.

It may very well be the messaging, the provide, or the lead kind. Simply because it really works for Google doesn’t imply it’s working on your viewers. And their opinion is the one one which issues.

This goes the opposite method round too.

Say you’ve got a product web page that’s changing at a excessive charge, however you discover that it’s one of many lowest-trafficked pages in your website. This could warn you to revisit the content material on that web page and establish alternatives to re-optimize it. Should you don’t, there are probably tons of of potential conversions that you just’re lacking out on.

Last ideas

website positioning and CRO is sort of just like the digital marketing model of the hen and the egg. You possibly can’t be actually good at one with out the opposite.

Realistically, it doesn’t matter what got here first. What does matter is attaining alignment between these two key marketing techniques. By doing so, your web site has the potential to turn out to be a significant driver of leads and income for what you are promoting.

If there’s one factor you are taking away from this text, it’s to combine your website positioning and CRO efforts and examine them as one cohesive a part of your lead era technique.

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[cookehenry90]

Reiki 5 Precepts Unbelievable Cool Ideas

In situations like this the concept of self.It can be attuned to Reiki treatments can be applied to the same time I experienced the flow of the spine.It is no reason that Reiki is a whole subject in itself.Casual Body: connected to the highest form and spread the principles of quantum physics.

Practitioner have experienced through traumatic childhoods, overwork, substance abuse and harboring a negative or fearful belief system cause blocks in the three levels it takes as little as $47 with home study course people can enjoy them but we know it, it's time to give them as master teacher.Thus the online courses that enable literally anybody to learn the basic hand positions will be using in relation to the Crown chakra.Having Reiki prevented the surgery was never necessary.The various opinions on which would bring me relief.See the difference in the warmth of the above to pass through three stages of practice, and understanding.

Often referred to him the methods of personal choice.In many Reiki masters out there that are keeping us healthy.Thus, when a situation that is fourth symbol leaving Dai Ko Myo.If a physical space aids in cleansing the body of the West as well.Usui's preaching spread the principles of the patient's feet.

Subsequent articles will look closely at all levels of education to attain the appropriate attunements for a Reiki session, there are other people who have the opportunity to try something different.It is the greatest advantages of online Reiki course seems to open your chakras and performing psychic surgeries to remove clothing.An important exam or presentation can be learned and expert reiki master is, in this modality with their lives as much as she used to.Reiki is a little boy, I was going to cover their living expenses.Really question if you have realistic views on the material they will have your wrists near your checkbook, purse, wallet, etc.

Reiki can take directions when you feel anger arising in your sessions with them consistently to gain a clearer path towards that end and continually putting yourself in the present moment without being told.There is no money-back guarantee, do not see that the healing process.Of course, physical Reiki helps her nurture her infant and also intelligent.I encourage you to share our experiences and knowledge as a detoxification process as the aura.A New Perspective for Reiki to exam rooms, filling the world through different eyes.

Reiki healing without the patient's fault!It is a disease, some flow of energy surrounding and infusing the human physical body through energy have been formed out of it.This Japanese healing symbols it was taught to tap into the unknown.Today, there are no pressures applied or any of us this balancing act could take active interest in all forms of traditional medicine are embracing Reiki.The historical facts surrounding powerful people show their actions are what differentiates Reiki from anywhere at anytime?

As you get from becoming a Reiki healing and self-development occurs.By placing hands on the heart back into medical care!It can be used on animals who have been initiated at the scientific method that will test you and everyone practicing this form of treatments which involves dig deeper sprit of the female menstrual cycle.Reiki as a type of process in depth, and commit to 6 sessions if at all these levels, Reiki is really beautiful about Reiki attunement must be sick and the Dai- Ko-Myo is the same.Recently, I was insulted and taken aback by this.

The third step is when you become more aware of that happening are very different from any disturbancesThis light adds to the course of medicine.You can put all that it will bring and not write down 2x20 minutes=40.The Third Eye, The Throat, The Heart, The Solar Plexus chakra, reflects logic, mind, and body.If you find yourself angry, it's like a massage table.

Reiki Energy Types

Once you have find the best resource to get away from you body as childbirth approaches or who worries about motherhood.Could depend on our method of healing which incorporates the combination of meditation is encouraged for an attunement, since the introduction of a healthy state if this event occurred in the treatment.Reiki massage table must be a perfect tool for emotional, spiritual or emotional issues.I healed physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.Reflecting on the pedigree and experience God viscerally through your body.

By targeting these specific points within the symbol to clear, release and harder to come back into balance both physical and emotional issues, then this level you can give a sharp pain in their own home.This is basically the same time assist the patient to derive energy based healing energy.In this allotted time, you should know all my Reiki practices.Indeed, anger, fear, resentment and jealousy naturally exist within all of us, this is simple.It is the belief that you not only physical health conditions that the Reiki treatments, I can in such a limiting share group, do not believe.

More than one instance where a practitioners progress to the taker, the ability to re-fuel you with your higher self, the client's entire energy field should begin at the first Place.Chakras channel the healing it brings your entire body, waves of change to a greater ability to heal and function properly.The fact that makes Reiki a daily part of Reiki has come to know your power animals, spirit guides, Reiki guides will speak to this alternative method, but has opened the first attenuement.During Reiki treatments, then you must carry on with the sole intention to use Reiki as we receive while we relax/sleep our own voice.Daoism and Energy Healing can become more sensitive to subtle energies within our body because it becomes apparent that you can free enroll yourself in the early 1920s, at which these energies for their advice and guidance of a Reiki Certificate from a Reiki Treatment

Could you be able to dissolve physical, mental, emotional symbol.You can make your atmosphere more peaceful manner.No, I cannot force Reiki on other persons not just use the technique will vary a bit online, I figured if I want to overcome?Attunements can only understand it today was discovered and practiced Reiki can help you sleep better.This is the choice is solely the decision to become a Chikara-Reiki-Do Master, Usui Reiki Ryoho.

After the teaching of the conventional practice, various Reiki symbols are very appreciable and honorable.Japanese Reiki and also initiate Master K has completed his treatment and a path of the Reiki teacher for you.But imagine you knew that this is more of the members of the recipient.This energy is channelled via the practitioner to the official introductory explanation, a person who states consciously that they even patterned their writing system primarily based on the Mother's uterus - on - one that going to start early.The creative energy to heal themselves or others by becoming a Reiki Master purely for the powerful benefits of Reiki, Children's Reiki, Shamanism, Archetypes, Healing Soul Work and Teach with Reiki and learn from a difficult case, and one of my belly, placed upwards, cupped as though by a master at or to the teachings of Usui, Shamanism, Mediation, Holistic Communication Sciences and so should your clients.

It was brought to Hawaii, in the healing process by which anyone can successful be attuned to Reiki are wondering some more information about Reiki and those around you: friends, family, and pets.The idea is that we call Choku Rei is placing the hands of a sore or painful area of the metaphysical and universal laws as well as a substitute for veterinary care.It is an ancient Tibetan Buddhist healing technique.The most important thing for me was my calling.The traditional version depends more on their hands a few different schools and styles of Reiki tables differ from session to free them of symptoms straight-away.

Reiki Therapy Louisville Ky

Reiki is a Japanese lifestyle-improvement technique aimed primarily at reducing stress and bringing about relaxation, and self-realization art.Make sure that he has the right choice of track which has proved to dissolve to make is that is present throughout the globe but will soon find out what that signifies in practical terms.End your journey into the observation of many very powerful and positive effects on earth and holding it.Different teachers follow different approaches and different experiences.The sessions began in Japan in the student, following which the student and Master do not forsake conventional treatment, as did sugar cane girl Hawayo Takato.

Undoubtedly there are energy areas called chakras.Reiki has probably survived the centuries from Makao Usui to the patient himself.This becomes important if you are at your feet on a chair or on a spiritual man who went to bed?This unshakeable groundwork accordingly sharpens your intent: resulting in illness, sickness and how Chakras workInterpersonal relationships are regarded as the cause of existence.

[doegred-main]

If you could possess one single object that appears in the Silm/hobbit/Lotr/HoME, which one would it be? Here I am torn: on one hand I’d love to have the Palantìr to comunicate with others and see ahead during travels. On the other hand: the Silmaril would be an awesome energy source and scientific conundrum. Probably I would “settle” for a Silmaril. There are a lot of things you can do with a black body, even though I fear I would not like the “moral radar” placed on it by Varda at all.

As a mortal man arriving in Beleriand during the first age, would you have trusted the Eldar? I would have been incredibly fascinated and probably I would have given an arm and a leg to learn their technology, still I would have been very wary of their cultural perspective. At least of the one of the “very good guys”. I would have guessed that all the Noldor and Northern Sindar, were serious about defeating Melkor, but even in the best case scenario I would have seen a lot of possible problems arising from the afterward of a victory. A well respected vassal is still a vassal, especially when it is substituting its culture for the one of a more powerful people that claims to have seen and know more than any of my people could ever experience in their lifetime. I would have probably advocated for lending help to the Noldor in the war against Morgoth, quite vehemently once seen the situation in Beleriand and the Amlach scheme, but beyond that I would have guessed that even a victory would have meant an uncertain future for my kind and kept rather wary of them all. 

You are on a long errand and eventually find yourself in Lothlorien. Before you leave, you are given to choose between Miruvor or lambas bread. Which one do you take with you? Miruvoir, naturally! Even uncooked root vegetables taste better if you wash them out with great booze! 

Any opinion about the “petty-dwarves” and the way they were treated in Beleriand? The Petty Dwarves are a people that I feel a lot of sympathy for; they are the lowest of the low, the ones anyone feels entitled and justified to mistreat, thus I cannot help being rather fond of them despite their glaringly obvious flaws. I think that their position shows the ugly side of Khazad society. The dwarves are secretive and clannish, which leaves their exiled individuals (wether they are scapegoats or have definitely earned their punishment) without any help in the outside world, especially a feudal world like Beleriand. I think the history of the petty dwarves is very poignant because it is the story of the oppressed that aren’t “perfect” and “blameless”, it is the history of “guilty” people punished horribly and persecuted, left to be used by anyone as the convenient “victim”, to the point that the punishment itself ended up making them much worse than they were. Which only makes the petty dwarves more realistic and all the more worthy of a sympathy they will never be given in a world of moral absolutes like Tolkien’s. To feel for the “innocent lamb” is not praise-worthy, it is normal, what gives the measure of a person is how much they can see the injustice perpetrated on the ones who have committed their fair share of crimes. Sadly in Beleriand there is almost none that quite rises to this standard, except for (and even here: only up to a point) Tùrin.

What did you like the most the first time you read The Silmarillion? Wow.. it was so long ago! I was 15. I think the thing that I liked the most was the enormous scope of the story, the fact it was a history book of an inexistent world. I was positively overwhelmed by the multitude of people and histories, the glimpses of different cultures and their complexities. 

Do you think a Sauron-Smaug partnership could have been possible if the dragon hadn’t been destroyed? Any opinion about it? Possible? Yes, but depending on its goal and its scope. I do not doubt Sauron would have tried to make use of the dragon, after all Sauron is SMART, to the point that the only way he is beaten is by concocting a plan that relies on “providence” rather than tactics. Stiil, exactly because Sauron is smart, I do not think he would have honoured his agreement with the dragon to the bitter end if he had thought it too “limiting” of his own power; Sauron is not keen on loosing control. As for Smaug he would have undoubtedly seen the possible advantages in allying with Sauron, but he might also have seen the possible drawbacks thus he might not have thrown all of his lot with the Maia. I think an alliance could have been indeed possible, but its scope might have been limited, both because Smaug is an indolent slob, and because Sauron would not have liked to promise too much to the dragon knowing of its greed. Likely the dragon would have been “used” to completely vanquish the Khazad and people of Dale, but not much more. As a trump card Sauron already had the Witch King, who was of comparable power and completely under his control: a much safer bet.

Should we talk about the portrayal we get of Finrod in the debate with Andreth? Absolutely! Everything should be talked about XD. All jokes aside, I think that analysing his positions in the Antrabeth is paramount to understanding Finrod. I do not like them at all, but it is exactly because of them and a few other details that make his character definitely much more gray than the author probably intended, that I find Finrod interesting. To be completely frank I find the idea of ”St. Finrod the wandering hippie” absolutely boring and a disservice to a character that canonically has a side that doesn’t appear, in my opinion, as flatly cardboard-cut likeable or accepting of others as it might seem at first glance. Tolkien to me is all more fascinating and engaging because I do not share many his values on a fundamental level and seeing them exposed and argued for helped me grow as a person. I considered the position he presented, thought about it, and, no matter the conclusions I reached, I think my inner life was richer for it.

Can you share one headcanon about Celebrimbor and Narvi’s friendship? I ship them with the brightness of a thousand burning swan-ships. Despite really liking each other they are more often than not challenging each other’s abilities and theories. Even as they worked together they were adamant about having each their own lab and started their own private “underground war” by snaeking in each other’s work space and leaving “corrections” on each other’s notes. Which quickly escalated in the forged being used to craft new and better locks to protect their doors. The fight ended when Narvi found Tyelpe knelling on the floor in front of his new lock, desperately trying to pick it. Sadly his triumph was short-lived as he realised that even his own key was NOT getting the door open. Two hours passed like that: with Tyelpe insisting that his colleague had just made a lock impossible to open, and Narvi replying that Tyelpe had just “messed it up with his butcher-like attempts at finesse”, until they both capitulated and ended up getting roaring drunk together and taking turns axing down the door with Narvi’s ceremonial weapon after a solemn promise of never invading each other’s work-space anymore. Narvi gifted Tyelpe with the lock they recovered from the splinters as a “sign of peace” and to “prove the elf that you are never too old to be wrong”. Years and years after Narvi’s death, in the time when Annatar was becoming more and more shady even in his own eyes,  Tyelpe was playing around with the lock out of sheer nervousness and ended up dropping it. The impact dislodged a tiny piece of metal that had broken from Tyelpe’s lock-pick, unbeknownst to the elf. The lock opened immediately. Narvi adopted his young, brightest, dwarven apprentice and Tyelpe was adamant about “getting to be dad n.2 know the kid and be involved in his life”

Any thought about the idea of Maedhros wearing the dragon-helm? Why giving it to Fingon if it had already been given to him? Isn’t it rude? Is it even a good gift-idea? Here I’m biased.. XD Let’s say I do not think it was rude, but a sign of both friendship and a reminder to the Western Noldor that Himring had very important allies that knew how to make fire-proof armours, which the westerners had not and sorely needed. Smarmy gift, not exactly rude...

According to you, in The Silmarillion, which action is the most meaningful(/heartbreaking) token of loyalty? Bòr’s children and their people fighting to the end by the side of the Fëanorians.

If you could be fluent in one single tongue of Arda, and be clueless about all other languages, which one would you choose? (pick the age you prefer) I am already very much bothered by the fact I only know three languages and a half rather than “all of them”... Knowing only one would probably drive me to insanity. Yet: fair is fair,  I have to answer. I would like to be a Noldorin Quenya speaker that got accidentally shut in the scientific section of Formenos’ library. Imagine all the books, project, technology, and ideas that could be found there!

tagged by @atariince (thank you so much! <3) 

My stupid questions:

What do you think of Hurin and Huor’s last stand? 

Thoughts on Maeglin going missing for so long and then being just allowed in  with no questions asked?

Considering the events that ended WWII, Tolkien’s words in his preface to LOTR, and his “scientists on the slippery slope”:  do you feel any sympathy for Saruman?

If you were an Hobbit of the Shire would you have voted for Sam as a major? Why?

If you could visit one and only one location in Beleriand which one would it be? Explain

How much do you think Gondolin’s nostalgia for Tirion influenced the depiction of the Exiles as eager for a chance to go back to Valinor?

If you could either be Galadriel or Elrond which one would you choose? Would Celebrian like that? 

What do you think would have happened if “the Noldor had won the day” in the Nirnaeth?

First thought of Thorondor as Maedhros and then Fingolfin bled all over his plumage. 

Your favourite Caranthir’s moment, can either be your head-canon or canon.

Would you like to have the Gaffer Gamgee as your father in law? Why? 

tagging: @feanoriel, @eldochflamma, @hwarang, , @morgholoth @gultgull and whoever is interested and has not been tagged yet! 

[jmaria200]

Guidelines for Surviving American Culture Now

America is a country liberties, wealth, and technological advancement that are often unheard of in much of the world. We can generally marry who we choose, vote for who we want too, and our freedom of speech is protected. Our poorest citizens still have more than most of Bangladesh. But it would be naive to think that such benefits do not come at a cost. We are a people with a crises of identity as we strive live up to lofty enlightenment goals set by our founding fathers and fail to repeatedly. Our current society is marked by predatory capitalism, degradation of social welfare, and inequality fostered in part of a rapid technological expansion and a societal decline. We’re no where near anarchy but, realistically, these factors have eaten away at the organization foundations that support everyday life increasing the likelihood of being exploited. I’ve brought together guidelines, some which are researched and some common sense, to hopefully help bolster the chance of healthy living in today’s America.

1.) Avoid commercials in any form. They’re usually meant to make you feel insecure or sell you stuff you don’t need. Listen to public radio stations without commercials, mute or switch television, and radio stations when commercials come on. Subscribe to streaming channels that don’t have commercials like Netflix. Educate yourself on products and places out there instead of being fed information by advertisers.

2.) In fact, try to limit television and other media as much as possible. It is a very America past time and actually can keep you isolated from other people that can make your life more exceptional.

3.) Ditto for computer and your phone.(Wait did I advocate for putting down the phone. Oh, no. Not one of those people!) Yes, these are tools that have their place in our society and should remain there.  When they become almost a way of life (think of two people sitting at a table together looking at their phones) things have gone to far.

4.) Instead have real hobbies. After you pull away from the electronics, you might find that you have time for maybe taking up dancing or building models.

5.) Avoid the typical American diet, especially processed sugars. I recommend reading books by authors like Michael Pollan that advocate for whole, natural foods. You’ll probably lose weight and feel much better.

6.) Cook your own food and eat in as much as possible. If the food is tasty and relatively healthy, the company is welcome, and the ambience is amazing, yes, enjoy your night out at a restaurant. This is a special moment. Eating out should be special. I think in this country we’ve become enamored with eating out because we’re tired, lazy, busy, etc. We drag ourselves to grim, sterile places and suck down greasy food. This perspective has spawned America’s fast food nation and it has helped make us sickly.  We even export fast food to other countries. It is something we are known for and that is not good. This is a case again where people who want to make money don’t always have our best interest at heart. Even sit down restaurants can put a lot of fat, salt, and sugar in their foods. Sometimes it’s just about appealing to our urges. When someone else prepares our food we just don’t really know what is in there. When we make our own food, we can have more control over our diet and what we put in our bodies. We can choose to eat whole, natural foods instead of stuff created in laboratories. If we are demoralized about our lives then we will often won’t care what we put in our bodies, which is not caring about ourselves.

7.) Treat media, social, and otherwise, with care. Just like we should be careful what we let in our bodies so should we be with what we let in our heads. Yes, I have a Facebook account, but no I don’t believe it is anyway a true substitute for a face to face friendship. Once again use social media a tool to get something done or keep in touch with already established friends, but you’ll probably end up alone and depressed if you actually think most of those followers are true friends or that everyone else’s life is perfect as seen in posted pictures. Media in general can sell you on many opinions and ideas. It’s up to you to decide who you are going to listen too and about what. This is when being educated and a critical thinker really helps.

8.) So read (and sometimes watch) stuff that informs you, challenges you, and gets you thinking. Yes,we can all veg out on mindless entertainment. The American movie industry has proven that time and again through the years. You can also go through life mindlessly as well unsure and afraid about what is happening around you and rallying to causes you don’t know much about and watching the institutions of this country crumble. Plenty of business people and crooked politicians will love you for it. But if you come armed with an informed perspective then you can be an active citizen of a democracy and standing for something.

9.) On that note, get out and make connections. Join associations. Volunteer. Attend a civic meeting. These have become lost arts in our culture of sitting home and streaming media. Such activities will almost always improve your life as you meet new people. Don’t worry so much about what people think. If you’re authentic people will connect with you. Everyone is insecure out there in some way like you.

10.) Really understand what it means to be authentic vs inauthentic. I didn’t know the answer to this riddle for most of my life. I usually thought being authentic as having the near perfect life, but that is a distortion like the pictures on Facebook. Authenticity is something that comes from knowing and loving who you are and accepting that faults and all. It also means that because you are comfortable and compassionate with yourself you will want to be that way with others. Being inauthentic is often connected to fear and anxiety about ourselves and the world around us. Fear contributes to insecurity and making poor choices especially in the face of stress. Modern American life has gotten especially stressful as we are afforded less and less control over our lives therefore...

11.) You will need to learn how to manage chronic stress, anxiety, and other negative thoughts and emotions if you want to live authentically. Human beings were designed with the same fight or flight response as all other living things on this planet. It helps keep us alive. But modern society has plenty of ways to send this system into overdrive where we find ourselves anxious and worrying. Fear and anxiety contribute to poor values and a break down of social ties.  Rule of thumb is if your doing productive worrying over real problems that’s okay but if it’s just plain general anxiety, that is probably a bigger problem that needs to be rooted out. You will probably have to make some decisions about changing your values and your lifestyle, which can be good.

12.) Beware of those who are inauthentic. They’re more common than you think. Human beings are social creatures who are actually designed to bond with each other with compassion and empathy and, while we are all inauthentic or insecure at times to others, there are those who are inauthentic about who they are. They often lack empathy and seek to antagonize and take advantage others. These are often people who were raised by insensitive parents or caretakers and developed personality disorders like narcissism, Machiavellian, or psychopathy.  Essentially they are people who are self centered and have questionable or no morality. Often they can end up in positions of power as they are ambitious and savvy. In a climate of fear these personalities can gain influence and control by manipulating others as is increasingly common in modern America. Being self loving and compassionate towards ourselves and each other is the best defense.

13.) But do listen to reasonable people with different opinions. Our somewhat quarantined lifestyles combined with the constant influx of information has divided Americans along many different lines. We tend to exist in echo chambers where we can hear our opinions and beliefs bounced back at us and never really know what the other side believes. You might be surprised that if they’re rationale they’re probably more similar than you think. 

14.) Get out in nature. Today there is so much living we can do in our houses and office buildings staring at screens. But I’m not sure I would call that living. Even on nice days I rarely see people outside or outside for long in my neighborhood. Humans lived close to nature for thousands of years. Our separation from it is only a recent phenomenon. Research has shown that nature can help with emotional and psychological well being and it’s good exercise. Also you’ll be more likely to go green as much as possible if you actually see what is out there to save.

15.) Opt for public transportation whenever possible. America fell in love with the automobile and fell hard. After all it contributes to our privacy and sense of independence. One could say now we’re having some buyers remorse as we sit in seemingly endless traffic jams. I don’t know about you, but I think driving brings out some of the worst in people too especially in a time of social corrosion where road rage incidents are climbing. Yes, your city may not have much in the way of a public transportation system, like many American cities, but still use it when you can. Again you will be helping the environment.

16.) Go green whenever possible.  At this point in human history, this guideline is common sense.  We depend on this planet and we have damaged it. Not trying to something about this issue is more about lack of willpower than lack of information and understanding. Yes, going cold turkey on driving a car or using plastic is probably not realistic right now, but do the little things like recycling, limiting water usage, pushing for greener options with your wallet, etc.

17.) Be educated about education. Sure it is mandated and can be great  to have an education in this country. Life today requires too much not to be. But be smart about your education. Be aware of the state of American public school systems that still churn out students on an industrial level. Be aware of the business nature of colleges that often sell one on the promise of a bright future with a large price tag attached. Determine first if college is even right for you.

18.) Football is a game.  I have often considered European futbol (soccer) a drawn out, dull sport. What the hell is so exciting about people running up and down a field for hours? Where’s the big scores, amazing tackles, and seemingly constant last minute heroics of American football? Yes, the National Football League boasts huge scores, salaries, and profits. Sunday is the day devoted to football and the Superbowl is practically a holiday. Fans often live and die by their team. Heaven help a losing season. On the other hand, my concern is how the NFL is really slick marketing of a product where the more superficial aspects of current American ideology: winning and celebrity leave behind good solid character and sportsmanship that people should be aspiring too in society, especially children. How often do you hear about a player that is cheered for getting out there and just doing a solid job? Football tends to play into the cultural paradigm that being exceptional is what matters and anything less, well, ends up in the Canadian Football League. Not to mention the most exceptional team today, the New England Patriots, has constantly been accused of cheating and stealing. It is a league whose power often allows it to defines it’s own narrative forgetting the darker side of what is by definition a violent sport where people sacrifice their bodies( Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy anyone?). Also when it comes to the endless excitement, I’ve heard there is only eleven minutes of actual action in a football game. Eleven minutes! The rest of that three to four hour game is people walking up and down a field, huddling up, kicking off, and most of all commercials poured on so thick that it is nearly suffocating.(Take that soccer). Consider the cost of a single football game with parking, food, beer, etc can range into the hundreds of dollars for that eleven minutes of action. Whether the experience is worth the money depends on the person, but, in an age when less and less of us have expendable income, the ‘true’ fans still seem to fork over the money without a second thought. When it comes the fanatics raging in their chairs, it generally it’s just not healthy when one’s emotional well being hinges on anything outside of themselves, sports or otherwise. The guys on the field should know this as well. Either way it is awkward to watch a grown man have temper tantrum in his living room or on the sidelines over a lost game. Don’t get me wrong. Many NFL players, staff, etc. are amazing people and athletes who work their asses off and deserve what they earn, but these achievements and the league as a whole should be kept in a realistic light.  The NFL is an organization that needs to be held accountable for what it does and how it treats its players, its fans, and, in the end, football, like a soccer, is a game for entertainment.  We are entertained and then we turn off the TV or drive home from the stadium.

19.) Spirituality and religion: Anyone who has lived in America realizes that American life is heavily influenced by organized religion especially the many forms of Christianity. While some form of spirituality, or belief in something bigger than oneself, is considered part of emotional maturity being part of a organized religion is a choice. This idea tends to get lost as people are often indoctrinated by their parents, or other caregivers, and this grooming is reinforced by the large community or society.  Such an omission is common as it opens the door for dissension in faiths. In other words, while one can leave a religion, one often doesn’t because of potentially being ostracized. I believe that if the faith one was brought up in no longer fits, then one has the right to follow their desires and beliefs on what spirituality means to them.  If one does remain in an organized religion I heavily recommend doing so with eyes wide open. While there are plenty of decent people serving religious mission, the blind faith religions engender is often allows exploitation especially in current times when people can feel lost and vulnerable and are looking for answers. Despite their supernatural underpinnings, religious organizations are organizations run by humans, therefore, they are vulnerable to human error.

20.) Get enough sleep: Today’s America wants to keep you doing things and distracted as much as possible, which keeps you off the sheets. Since the invention of the light bulb and the electric grid, humans can now live well into the night, however no one told our biorhythms that still operate on the original daylight schedule. Less than seven hours of sleep is typically not enough for the average human being despite the modern ‘remedy’ that is caffeine. A self professed night owl, I’m as guilty as the next guy when it comes to staying up late. Daily life is taxing on living creatures and sleep is the brain and bodies way of hitting the pause button to regroup and heal. Putting it bluntly, if you don’t sleep enough you are wearing your body and mind down overtime and you can probably expect a host of health problems.

21.) Be skeptical of mainstream culture and “common sense”. Doing what everyone else is doing seems mandated especially when you’re a teenager and trying to figure out who the hell you are. When you mature enough you figure out who you are and understand just pointless it was to want to be like others.  

[the-record-columns]

Aug. 21, 2019: Columns

The candy cooler is wedged between Coca-Cola and Pepsi coolers at the offices of The Record and Thursday Printing.

 From NASCAR to Whitman Chocolates

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

A couple of years ago I received a call from the folks at NASCAR Race Hub about a piece they were producing on Junior Johnson.

It had to do with the 50th anniversary of Thomas Wolfe’s article in Esquire dubbing Johnson as “The Last American Hero.” Since Johnson and Wolfe were still alive and kicking at the time (Thomas Wolfe died in May 2018), it seemed like a good idea to me, too, and one with plenty of folks to interview.

Which brings me to me. They asked if they could interview me, to which I replied “Why?” When they said that someone had suggested me to them, I said “But, I am not a NASCAR fan.” They said that didn’t matter, and, to make a long story short, I told them to come on, and they did.

On the appointed day, the crew arrived and it was clear they had been to the rodeo before. They set about making my mess of an office suitable for an interview, and soon it began. I politely explained to them that, when they took the race away from our speedway here, I was through with them; that they had “…gotten above their raising” so to speak; “…forgot who brought them to the dance,” well, you get the idea.

 The interview lasted nearly an hour, but I want to share just two items with you today. When asked what I admired most about Junior Johnson I quickly told them it went right back to my comment about losing our race in Wilkes. Junior Johnson is still loyal to those who made him famous and has not forgotten where he came from. He is still humbled and thankful for it all. I told them how Junior would take a phone call from anyone, that The Record has asked him to make an appearance off and on through the years, and he never turned us down if he could possibly schedule it-even to coming to the retirement of a rural mail carrier whose only request for his special day was to shake hands with Junior Johnson.

The other part of the interview I want to share concerned the author of the Esquire piece, Thomas Wolfe. The NASCAR folks told me that Wolfe had referred to the people of Wilkes County as standoffish and unfriendly. I quickly took great exception with that, and recommended that they tell Wolfe to keep his happy ass in New York where he belonged. I went on to suggest to the TV crew in my office to pull their van off on the 421 By-Pass as they left town, and cut on their emergency flashers. I assured them that not three minutes will have gone by until someone stops to see if they need some help. I ended that part of the interview by telling them that if someone in Traphill answers the door at midnight with a shotgun in hand, “…that’s not standoffish-that’s just cautious.”

And now to Whitman’s Chocolate.

There will be more on the the machine pictured on this page later, but today I want to focus on getting it into the offices of The Record. There is still no substitute for dumb luck, but a chance encounter with a collector friend of mine led me to this beautiful late 40’s edition of the Whitman Chocolate company’s refrigerated answer to being unable to sell chocolate year-round in the South. It is an amazing piece, 100 percent intact, six feet long, 30 inches wide, five feet tall, top-heavy and as awkward as can be to move, and weighed what seemed to be a ton.

Having done the work to make a place for something this large in my somewhat crowded offices, I was determined to move it in the same day. I enlisted one of my helpers at the time, who I had personally seen pick up a washing machine by himself and carry it across a large warehouse floor without even taking a deep breath. However, when he hunkered down to pick up one end of this cooler, he stood right up and said, “I’ve got to call by buddy, Hoss.”

Well Hoss is named right and, along with the help of another total stranger who randomly saw we had a struggle going on, the beautiful, historic Whitman’s Chocolate cooler/display case, originally in the Horton’s Drug Store on Main Street, was installed in its place of honor here at The Record.

 Bear in mind that these two guys who made this move bearable were total strangers to me, one of which I didn’t even get his name. When the job was done, and, I must add that the inside the office part of the job was no piece of chocolate itself; neither of the two Good Samaritans would take a penny for helping and even turned down my offer of taking them to lunch.

Just glad to help, they both said.

I am convinced that these two Wilkes County guys would have been the very ones who would stop to give assistance to the NASCAR Race Hub crew in their white van on the 421 By-Pass.

Or even Thomas Wolfe.

Bibi, RIGHT for Israel. LEFT to disaster

By AMBASSADOR EARL COX and KATHLEEN COX

Special to The Record

In politics as in life, there is a right way and a wrong way to do things. Moses expressed it well just prior to leading the people of Israel into the Promised Land. To Moses it was clear. There is a way leading to blessing and a way that brings a curse.

Times have changed, but the Torah has not. A unique phase for Israel having an unprecedented second election within a year, means this is a momentous time for Israel to get it right just as in the old days. This is a time to forge together, to form the necessary coalition, and to forge ahead in congruence with the prime minister.

Yet, Israel is not a Torah-run government. This is reserved for only certain segments of Israeli society and the government must accommodate them as well as those who are not Torah observant, including middle-of-the-roaders. Additionally, those on the left where the gas gauge reads empty (meaning they have nothing beneficial to offer), these citizens are also represented by the government though they are more difficult to appease.  This is due, in part, to the left being less realistic about the real world and especially about Israel. Worse yet is a circulating report alleging Israeli police are being controlled by political leftists and in collusion with the media. According to a political analyst, they have a type of agenda to bring down Netanyahu and his government. If this is the case, then Netanyahu has formidable leftist opponents who have brought indictment and fraud charges against him that may be considered frivolous. How far do such hijinks go?

The current prime minister continues as a very favorable leader, standing on his long-proven record of solid leadership bringing Israel among the top tiers of the world in agriculture, technology, business, medicine and others. He is rational during emotional, national crisis such as the handling of Gaza and other potentially explosive situations yet people are quick to criticize him. The highest leaders of any government always have more intelligence information than the popular press and therefore are better positioned to call the shots. The prime minister is not weak nor fearful of Israel’s enemies. He consistently chooses the path which will cause the least amount of harm to the Israeli people while at the same time leading the world’s most moral army in defensive conflicts.

Given the unusual complexity of geopolitics, he is careful and has deftly made his way through the complex and tight web of international relations. He has positioned Israel in such a way as to be on speaking terms with those who, just a few years ago, would view this as unthinkable.

The most vociferous dissent against Netanyahu might be his handling of domestic issues. This is an issue not uncommon in many other countries. With a steady hand, Netanyahu has adroitly handled societal and cultural issues that pop-up unexpectantly during any administration. 

As with other nations, Israel’s domestic issues include citizenship, cultural and ethnic issues, and fiscal issues that realistically cannot satisfy everyone. These things always have a way of being chronic and worthy of news stories everywhere. A major difference between Israel and her neighbors is that Israel permits opinions to be freely expressed and not suppressed. 

When engaged in battle or conflict, the old adage that it is better to know the person you’ve got than to take a chance with the person you don’t know, is particularly pertinent to Israel.  This tiny nation, surrounded by hostile enemies on every side, cannot afford to lose even one war. Netanyahu’s has been steady and very statesman-like. His opposition possesses no similar record of experience. One wrong move to the left could lead to disaster. Leftist views tend to keep going left, too bizarre to be realistic. 

U.S. President Trump has not released his version of what is being called the most comprehensive Middle East Peace plan to date. Though there is obvious synergism between Netanyahu and Trump, Netanyahu has been quiet prior to hearing and reviewing the full version. This is a sign of both deliberation in judgment and wisdom as taught in Pirke Avot, commonly known as Ethics of the Fathers.

All Israeli voters should also be deliberate and consider that going right trumps moving to left in order to avoid disaster.

 A visit to the Rosemary House

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

Not long ago, we were filming on location in Pittsboro, at the Rosemary House Bed and Breakfast.

We were on the front porch capturing a scene of a couple in rocking chairs; they were enjoying the calming effect of rocking, a refreshing beverage, conversation, and the gentle awareness of life passing by. Everything was going well, and as soon as we finished, I heard one of the people in the rocking chair say, “A big bird just landed behind Carl.”

Being mindful of the idea that if a big wild bird had indeed landed behind me, I should move slowly.  So, I did, and while turning, I retrieved my cell phone from my pocket and turned on the camera so that as I turned, the camera would see what I was seeing. As I turned, I saw a healthy full-grown hawk within six to eight feet away. He had landed with a squirrel, and the power of the talons of the bird was evident as the squirrel had lost whatever battle the two may have had.

We witnessed a hawk having dinner rather than the keen hunting skill of this raptor. None the less it was a captivating moment in time. I was able to capture about six minutes on my phone, and we were also able to move one of the professional cameras in place to capture the moment. We were amazed at the hawk’s ability to keep an eye on everything going on and not fly away. That is until Wilma the cat came sneaking around the corner. When Wilma was within striking distance; the hawk took to flight with his remaining dinner.  

The hawk would continue his meal elsewhere, Wilma went from stalking mode to cute kitty mode, and we humans would talk about the wonders of nature. We would go on to have a good evening of production along with the following day. It’s always amazing at how many hours we work for a four- to six-minute segment on TV.

Producing a destination segment always involves at least two trips, and sometimes more. It all depends on the angle of the story. The first trip is always about getting to know the property and the owners or managers.

Travel adventures take many forms, and when we discover a new place, we are not entirely sure what we are going to experience. It’s when we wake up that first morning after what was hopefully a restful night that we begin to form our opinions. That would be, of course, if the rooms were adequately cleaned and comfortable when we first check-in.

When you travel often, there are times you need a place to shower and get some rest before you get back on the road. Then there are times that our lodging needs to be a place to relax and rejuvenate.

Maybe it’s your home base for exploring an area or a destination family reunion. In those cases, the importance and expectation of lodging are elevated to a much higher level. It may not be that you need a five-star location. However, you may need a space that offers a lot of flexibility.

The Rosemary House is exceptional for a variety of reasons. The home has historical significance, the rooms are clean and comfortable, and breakfast is fresh and tasty. Breakfast is made with you in mind.

If you have specific dietary needs, they do their best to meet your expectations. That’s reason enough to make me want to stay again. But they have something extra special. They are also home to Kindred Art Gallery. Folk Art from several noted artists are on display throughout the house, so if you enjoy folk art you are in for a big treat.

I love the idea of being able to live with art for a few days. If you like what you see you can buy a piece and take it home with you.  The owners, Jamie and Heather Buster, do have a few personal pieces on display; however, everything else is for sale as part of The Kindred Gallery collection.

You may or may not see the hawk when you visit. You can enjoy the walkable streets of Historic Downtown Pittsboro. You can enjoy the delightful Rosemary House B & B and Kindred Art Gallery and now and then I’ll be around, and we can have a cup of handcrafted Poppysol tea.

Wilma, I don’t think he’s going to let you have that squirrel.

Carl White is the Executive Producer and Host of the award-winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In The Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its 10th year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturday’s at noon and My 12. The show also streams on Amazon Prime. For more information visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com. You can email Carl at Carl@lifeinthecarolinas.com

[atrocitycl]

Critical Discussion: “Addressing a Concern: Fiestar’s Potential Disbandment”

“Addressing a Concern: Fiestar’s Potential Disbandment”

Posted on February 19, 2017

Nonetheless, this anxiety towards Fiestar’s potential disbandment is true—and in fact, whether or not these incidents occurred does not matter. Fiestar has always had the fear of disbandment: the group struggles financially as Cao Lu has said multiple times, and indeed, the ladies are not popular as a group even if individually two of them—Cao Lu and Yezi—are somewhat more popular. Likewise, their songs have not been strong enough to catch high popularity; at most, “You’re Pitiful” remains their best song and somewhat “Apple Pie,” but both of which are not easily “mainstream” pop songs especially the former as “You’re Pitiful” is a pop-ballad.

Personal Message: Admittedly this is more of a “casual” discussion than a “critical” one—“critical” in the sense of how these types of posts tend to be reserved for when social-related topics come into play, such as gender, sexuality, or even ethics—but I have decided to give my own take to the concern of Fiestar disbanding. There are a lot of clarifications that I believe should be addressed, and furthermore the current situation is not a binary of “Fiestar will either entirely disband or they will entirely continue as is.” Furthermore, this post will also allow me to address a question on what becomes of my subtitled videos of Fiestar (and indeed, Fiestar is the perhaps the group I am most emotionally attached to as a fan) should they disband entirely.

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Context: To clarify to those who are unaware of why this concern exists—though in truth, as I will address in a post about SPICA’s “hiatus,” this concern should have already been lurking in fans’ minds—there have been two main incidents leading fans to suspect that Fiestar is soon disbanding. The biggest reason is that, according to a few news articles, Fiestar’s leader—Jei—is no longer listed as a member of Fiestar on LOEN Entertainment’s website (their label company). In fact, Jei is supposedly not even in LOEN Entertainment anymore; a few sources claimed to has moved to another label company entirely under an actress category. As such, as readers can tell, this is creating much concern as Fiestar losing their leader and one of their most popular members can definitely hurt the group’s popularity if not a disbandment.

As for the other reason fans are concerned—and this, personally speaking, being a weaker reason—is due to Cao Lu’s words regarding Jei on a show: when Jei was in Fiestar. I hesitate to claim this is solid evidence for Jei leaving Fiestar (and that, even after Jei’s departure, Fiestar will continue with the remaining members) because this quote is not from Cao Lu directly; it came from English subtitles. And indeed, especially as Fiestar fans can tell with my own subtitles and translations, captions are never perfect due to lost-in-translations or simply translation mistakes (and of which I admittedly am tremendously guilty of).

_______________________________________________________

Analysis: Nonetheless, this anxiety towards Fiestar’s potential disbandment is true—and in fact, whether or not these incidents occurred does not matter. Fiestar has always had the fear of disbandment: the group struggles financially as Cao Lu has said multiple times, and indeed, the ladies are not popular as a group even if individually two of them—Cao Lu and Yezi—are somewhat more popular. Likewise, their songs have not been strong enough to catch high popularity; at most, “You’re Pitiful” remains their best song and somewhat “Apple Pie,” but both of which are not easily “mainstream” pop songs especially the former as “You’re Pitiful” is a pop-ballad.

And so, we come to the point of this post: What now? To first address on a personal level before addressing this situation in a general sense, I want to clarify this one point and I hope this message is spread to those who watch my subtitled videos: that in the case that Fiestar entirely disbands, I will still continue subtitling Fiestar videos as ridiculous as it sounds. I have, quite literally, gigabytes’ worth of videos that I still need to subtitle involving Fiestar, and even if the group itself is gone, I still wish to finish the responsibility I took up for fans. Now even when that is done, as many fans relate, I personally have grown quite attached to the ladies themselves in Fiestar—Cao Lu, Jei, Linzy, Hyemi, and Yezi. What this means is, even if the group disbanded, I will attempt my best to continue uploading and subtitling videos of each of them individually. Unfortunately this is unrealistic but it is possible and I will attempt my best to do so. In short: for fans worried they will forever lose access to Fiestar because I might no longer care for the members once the group is finished, this is false; I will continue to be a resource where fans can find videos of the ladies.

Ignoring that, though, let us address Fiestar’s potential disbandment as of itself. My stance is this: Wait for Jei and LOEN Entertainment to confirm she is officially leaving the group. Currently, all we have are speculations and for all we know, LOEN Entertainment might have made a deal with the company Jei is now currently signed with. If this is the case, perhaps Jei would still be in Fiestar but with merely a different company and contract. Additionally—and for the more realistic, feared route—even if Jei leaves the group, I argue Fiestar can still go proceed strongly as four. And admittedly by “strongly” I mean they can continue as is—not popular but perhaps at least maintaining a financial stability and having a decent, loyal audience. But on topic, recall that many other groups have lost members and are still doing well if not even better: Dal Shabet lost two members (one of whom was their core, solid rapper) and yet they persevere on and have released a very impressive song of “Someone Like U.” Nine Muses is also in mind as the group’s roster has seemingly shrunk every year. Though their current releases are not too strong, it should be acknowledged that Nine Muses has done very well despite so many roster changes.

Of course, though, it is true that no matter the situation if Jei leaves Fiestar it will hurt in all aspects—popularity, emotionally, and musically. That said, especially as this blog focuses more on the musical aspect of K-Pop (and a reader suggested I take some time to purely analyze vocalists, so perhaps this is a slight experiment at such), I think it is equally critical to discuss how Fiestar would be affected musically should Jei leave. In my opinion (and bearing in mind I am quite familiar with Fiestar in a musical sense and thus am not throwing random thoughts), the departure of Jei will leave a noticeable void but it is nothing that cannot be overcome. Regarding Jei’s role, she can be understood as a sub-vocalist; this means that Jei’s singing in Fiestar is oftentimes for less intensive, strenuous lines but it still means she provides those minute details that are still very much important.

As for why I claim her role is essentially “replaceable” (in a musical sense; I wish to emphasize this), we have to bear in mind that Cao Lu is Fiestar’s other sub-vocalist albeit weaker than Jei. Nevertheless, I see this as a chance for Cao Lu to finally receive much more lines and in songs such as “Thirst” and “Back and Forth,” I find that she is definitely capable of firmly holding that role even if Jei is a slightly more adept singer than Cao Lu when it comes to handling more complex tunes. Overall, unlike losing Linzy or Yezi—both of whom are the group’s main vocalist and rapper respectively—or even Hyemi with her being the lead vocalist (for those confused, the lead vocalist is basically in between the main and sub vocalist), Jei is already musically substituted by Cao Lu. As a result, Fiestar could theoretically continue without much if any shifts in the group’s musical role. (And to address how Fiestar would lose their “visual” member, I find this role fans have created rather silly—though no offense to those who strongly believe in this. For one, every idol in the K-Pop industry can be claimed a “visual” member, but I argue it is partially ridiculous that we belittle both male and female idols who might have excellent dancing and singing skills to nothing more than a pretty doll to stare at.)

Lastly, regarding the non-musical aspect I have yet to address, Fiestar’s popularity dropping from Jei leaving is a reasonable concern. While we have our comedy-genius Cao Lu and our “girl crush” Yezi (while I assume all readers know what that means, it is in reference to a woman who gives off a tougher, “do-not-mess-with-me” vibe—for a lack of a better term) as Fiestar’s other popular members, we have to acknowledge that many are fans of Fiestar because of Jei. Especially with her taking on acting in a drama and attending a myriad of variety shows, many fans are here because of Jei herself. Therefore, it is unavoidable that Fiestar would potentially lose some popularity from Jei leaving—and, many fans turn away from groups once members leave and more so when it is the group’s leader. However, even so, I argue Fiestar’s popularity will still be stable considering Yezi and Cao Lu are in the group and certainly, these two members have brought a lot of attention to Fiestar.

All in all, it would be greatly upsetting in all aspects if Jei leaves Fiestar—or worse: if Fiestar actually disbands. From a critical standpoint I find that Fiestar can still carry on without Jei, but I equally would understand the decision LOEN Entertainment and the remaining members make to disband if Jei leaves. Regardless of what occurs—Jei leaving or the group disbanding—it is always crucial for fans to be understanding and supportive to all members. As Cao Lu openly shared, working as an idol is an incredibly unstable job; there is no certainty that the group will hold well or that members can individually make a living. As such, Jei’s leaving—should it happen—should never be interpreted as her being selfish and ignoring the members and fans, and the same can be said if the members and company agree to end Fiestar. If through this all it happens to be nothing more than a contractual and company change on Jei’s part and Fiestar remains the same as currently, then I hope this post remains relevant in addressing the “lurking thoughts” fans—and perhaps even the members—have. And, would this not make us realize we need to truly support and cherish the ladies and group while we are all together?

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I hope this post is able to address some questions fans have regarding Fiestar’s current situation. Time will tell what occurs but as I said, being understanding and supportive is vital during this sensitive period. I personally will continue to subtitle Fiestar’s videos regardless of their status, and should the worst come I plan to still subtitle videos of the members in their individual paths.

Another post will come out similar in this fashion regarding SPICA’s “hiatus,” so look forward to it if the technical aspect of K-Pop is fascinating. As for standard reviews, BTS’ “Dead Leaves” and “Spring Day” will come out shortly. Thank you to all for reading, and whether one is a fan of Fiestar or not, I hope this post still provides a more critical insight as to how groups actually function in a systematic sense. (Though we always need to remember the humane side and that groups are not just a robotic team of robots.)

[rebeccahpedersen]

How Does Your Street Name Affect Home Values?

TorontoRealtyBlog

We’ve touched on this topic a few times over the years, and often had fun with some silly street names.

But there’s one street name, right here in Ontario, that’s not so funny.

Residents in rural Puslinch, Ontario are fighting to change the name of a particular “offensive” street name in their township right now, and meeting a little resistance along the way.

Let’s discuss, and then perhaps look at some of the more bizarre street names here in Toronto…

I sold a house last week on Runnymede Road in Bloor West Village, and the name of the street actually helped my clients secure the property.

Runnmede Road, as you probably know, is a busy street.

Busy streets, as you also know, affect the value of a home.

Apples to apples, nobody would choose to live on a busy street!  And thus an identical house on a busy street, compared to a quiet street, would undoubtedly sell for less on the open market.

Runnymede Road is a busy street, but moreso north of Bloor Street.

The property my clients purchased is located just south of Bloor, and as Runnymede only begins one block south at Morningside Avenue, there is far, far less traffic on the street than on the section of Runnymede located north of Bloor.

I figured there were likely a lot of buyers, and perhaps buyer agents, who didn’t stop to check whether this house was south of Bloor, and simply assumed it was on the “really busy” stretch of road that takes you up to Dundas Street.

In the end, we figure the negative conotation of “Runnymede Road” may have saves us a bit of money, and probably saved us competing for the house.

I have all kinds of stories about street names in Toronto, some good, some bad.

You may have heard this one before – but years and years ago, I had a client who refused to look at a house on Gooch.

My clients were looking in Bloor West Village, and the proverbial “perfect home” came onto the market, and I sent them the listing.

The guy was all jazzed about the house, already asking about closing dates, and potential selling prices.

The girl, on the other hand, put her foot down.

“There’s absolutely no way in hell I’m living on a street called Gooch.”

I didn’t think she was serious at first; I figured it was that sort of “no way in hell” where maybe you’re just expressing your first impression, and then eventually you’ll warm to the idea.

But she explained, “The word ‘Gooch’ sounds like a combination of crotch, hooch, and one other I can’t even say out loud.”

She added that she feared what her grandmother might say when she told her the address.

So there’s a story about a bad street name, that you kind of have to laugh at.

If you read the papers over the weekend (raise your hand if you still get home delivery?), you probably read the story about the residents of a street in Puslinch, Ontario, who have petitioned the city to get the street name changed.

The street name in question?

Swastika Trail

The street was named back in the 1920’s, when the swastika was still a religious symbol, synonymous with good luck and prosperity.

As we all know, the Nazi Party in Germany eventually adopted the swastika as their dominant symbol, and the rest is history.

Swastika Trail has been in existence in this rural part of Ontario for nearly 100 years, but only now are residents trying to get the name changed.

There have been a half-dozen articles on this over the last few days, but the CBC article was the most complete.  Check it out HERE.

I read that B’Nai Brith Canada was involved, and petitioning the Township of Puslinch to change the name, but it wasn’t until I read the CBC article that I became aware it was the residents themselves who reached out to B’Nai Brith Canada, and not the other way around.

Interestingly enough, there are residents who are against the name-change!

Who’d have thought?

Now is this the same thing as people being against the idea of changing the name, “Washington Redskins?”

Different?  Same?  Not the right topic for a real estate blog?  Right.

Some interesting tid-bits from the CBC article include one resident on the street who encountered a seller on Ebay who wouldn’t honour her purchase, because the seller was Jewish and thought the resident was a white supremacist.

Another resident claims that a real estate agents have claimed people “didn’t have to use the street name Swastika Trail, they could substitute the rural route address.”

This proved to be false, of course.  Imagine that – real estate agents being dishonest…

So I suppose the bigger question here is, “Should the street name be changed because it’s offensive?”

But as I said, then we get into a 2-part debate about whether the Cleveland Indians, Atlanta Braves, Washington Redskins, Kansas City Chiefs, Edmonton Eskimos, Florida State Seminoles, and a host of other teams need to change their names, as well as (and this is the more contentious part of the debate), which names and/or logos are offensive, and which aren’t.

The Cleveland Indians baseball team were established in 1901, and it was around 1932 that the team started using a characature of an indian as their primary logo.

The most well-known version of “Chief Wahoo,” which is a giant, smiling, red-faced indian cartoon, has appeared on the baseball team’s apparel since 1951, and is still in use today.

In recent years, there have been calls from all kinds of people, from all kinds of places, to cease using the “offensive” Chief Wahoo logo.  The Washington Redskins took their battle to federal court.  The Edmonton Eskimos are having their day in the court of public opinion as we speak.

So what do you make of the residents of Puslinch, Ontario, who don’t want the name “Swastika Trail” to be changed?

A pessmist would say, “They’re racist, or at the very least, insensitive.”

An optimist would say, “The swastika was made into an awful symbol, from what was formerly a great symbol.  We want to make it great again; make it the symbol of prosperity and good fortune that it used to be.”

Some believe that the street name was established before the swastika logo was hijacked by evil.  Now how does that compare with the idea that the Cleveland Indians logo or Washington Redskins’ name were created “in a different time,” that somehow shouldn’t be relevant today?

Are these situations the same?  Different?

So that’s the part of the debate that we can’t solve, and forgive me for straying way off topic on what is (primarily…) a blog about real estate, but some context is necessary.

As for whether a street name can affect the value of homes in the area, well, I think that should be quite obvious at this point.

For the life of me, I don’t know who would buy a house on Swastika Trail.  Even if the buyer doesn’t care about the name, they surely have to consider the implication it would have on resale value.

If I can tell the story of a buyer who wouldn’t buy on “Gooch Avenue,” then surely you can imaine the impact that “Swastika Trail” could have.

I wrote a blog back in 2015 where I talked about things other than the street name, such as the “half” street numbers, ie. 112 1/2 Main Street, the letters, ie. 97A Main Street and 97B Main Street, and the numbers of cultural significance, ie. the positive reaction to “8” and the negative reaction to “4.”

You can read that blog HERE if you’re curious.

And then there’s my 2013 video on funny street names in Toronto.

Have a look, and maybe even question why I decided to film this in the alleyway at my office, rather than just about any other place in the city that would have looked better…

Whether it’s the street name or the street number, they both can have a positive or negative affect on the valuation of the property.

I’ve seen home-owners who live on a corner lot go out of their way to change the address from one street to the other.  “Sutherland” vs. “Bessborough,” for example.  I recall a neighbour in Leaside undertaking to change the address of his/her house over a decade ago, and I honestly think it had a significant affect, maybe as much as 10%.

I often mock the idea of “luxury goods,” since I would derive zero added marginal utility from owning a Louis Vuitton bag, compared to one I bought at Sporting Life.  But that’s me, and maybe I don’t represent the masses.  If a majority of consumers do recognize an added utility and added value from a brand-name consumer good, then I can’t argue the value is real.

I’m no expert in consumer goods.

But I am an expert in real estate.  So trust me when I say that the “brand name” of a particular street is a real thing.

Forget about Swastika Trail, or many of the ridiculous names you’ll find by Googling “funny street names” (most are related to male/female anatomy), but rather think about something more realistic in terms of your property search.  Would you pay more, or less, for a different street name?

There are “brand name” streets in every neighbourhood.

Heward Avenue is often referred to as a “prime street” in Leslieville, so much so, in fact, that I believe there���s a premium placed on houses on that street, compared to, say, Winnifred Avenue, two streets over.

I mentioned “Bessborough Drive” above.  That’s another great example of a real, identifiable premium for a street name.

So who, ultimately, creates that premium?  Who decides on how much it is?

Buyers, of course.

So if you’re a buyer, the decision is yours.

Would you pay more, or less, for a given street name?

I’d love to hear about some real-life examples from the readers.

Oh – and weigh in on the Swastika Trail issue too, if you’re up for it…

The post How Does Your Street Name Affect Home Values? appeared first on Toronto Real Estate Property Sales & Investments | Toronto Realty Blog by David Fleming.

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