#and these visualizers????? just genuinely in awe

[fukkafyla3]

Hyper Commission | Zenless Zone Zero 2024 Mix [Full DJ live set]

[moltengoldveins]

hey, question for people with visual brains: when you’re tired or it’s nighttime, does your brain ever do that thing where you can’t manage the size of the thing you’re visualizing? Like everything is running as normal, you’ve got the pictures in your head, but suddenly the things are shrinking into infinity, or growing, or some things are getting so thin they vanish while others are filling the whole ‘screen’? And you literally can’t do anything about it, that’s it for the evening, no more vivid daydreams before bed, you gotta be done, cause you ain’t fixing that, it’s stuck on ‘random size mode’ for the foreseeable future, and nobody wants to daydream when their face is gonna randomly shrink into nothing while the object in their hand swells to fill every possible angle. Am I insane? Has anyone else experienced this?

[ssahotchnerr]

Hotch x BAU!reader where maybe it’s their first Christmas together and reader is trying to be sneaky asking everyone what to get hotch/if he’ll like what they got him & he overhears and is just mush because of course he’s going to like what you buy him 😞😞😞 you thought of him and wanted him to have it how could he not like it

a gift that keeps on giving

cw; fem bau!reader, established relationship, some suggestive remarks/themes, fluff 🥰🥰 wc; 1.1k

A string of garland adorned with twinkling lights, undoubtedly Garcia's doing, paved Aaron's way. Draped on the walls, they colorfully led him down the hallway towards his destination; while he also offered stiff, yet friendly nods to the colleagues he passed.

It had been a quiet yet busy work day, full of end of year paperwork. The team had been rifling through case reports and settling stagnant matters all morning, a necessity before January.

Upon organizing one of his desk drawers, Aaron had found miscellaneous papers that would serve Garcia more purpose than he. So he decided to take a breather, stretch his legs, and venture down to Penelope's bat cave to hand them over.

Her door was slightly ajar as he neared, and before he could raise his knuckle to announce his presence, he heard your voice coming from inside, causing him to halt.

"Penny, I really don't know." You frustratedly admitted, and just by the tone Aaron could visualize the strained look on your face - the muscles in your forehead pulled taut, your eyes laced with trouble. "I'm awful."

Penelope scoffed in response, a tame laugh accompanying her release of air. The click-clacking of her keyboard was also present, "I wouldn't go that far."

A knot tightened in his stomach, a silent unease. Awful was not amongst the words he would use to describe you, ever. So the reason as to why you claimed such, he had no idea. Was something terribly wrong? Was it girl drama? Him drama?

He considered leaving, giving Garcia the files at a later time. As this conversation was happening in private, it didn't sound too dire, so his gut told him to remain. He leaned a bit closer to the open crack, straining his ears to hear the conversation inside.

In addition, he also nervously tossed a look behind his shoulder every so often, to ensure no one caught him subtly lurking.

"And I guarantee you Aaron," You said, which caused his ears to perk more, crossing your arms against your chest. "Isn't having the same dilemma."

His confused expression, as well was your frustration, was soon interrupted by a laugh exiting you. It was the pure, genuine one that could turn Aaron's day around in a second, one he couldn't help but smile at. Even now, the sides of his lips lifted.

"Don't give me that look!"

"Sorry, sorry! I'm so used to hearing Hotch that hearing anyone referring to him as his government name catches me by surprise. Like, we're talking about him? Boss man? And in a lovey dovey way too? It's so oddly foreign in the best possible way."

"But what should I get him?" Your tone faltered, the lightness leaving it again as your foot lightly stomped against the carpet.

It dawned on him, clarity filling his mind. Christmas. You were inquiring on what to get him, in result of being stuck, and enlisted Penelope for assistance.

"Rhetorically, this should be easy." You confessed as your tone switched once more - the affection gushing in your voice, as you gushed about him. "He's a simple man. Practical. And after this year, or call it the profiler in me whatever, I feel as if I know him better than I know myself. But when it comes to thinking of a gift, I'm drawing a blank. A complete blank."

"Well you can't go wrong with... a new tie? You know he'll get many uses out of that. Or just clothes to begin with. If you know him so well, you know what he looks good in. Like that one blue button-up you got him!"

Aaron's expression quirked. Thanks Garcia.

"Yeah..." You agreed, chewing on your lower lip in thought. "But that's safe. Not special."

"Oh!" A devious smile graced Penelope's face, swiveling in her chair and she playfully grabbing onto your arm. "How about you become the gift. Surprise him with a new lingerie set? Have him unwrap you."

Blush immediately crept onto Aaron's cheeks at Garcia's suggestion, one he could get behind. The image of you in such attire clouded his mind pleasantly. His breath caught in his throat, and he forced himself to swallow. Cool it, Aaron.

"Noted." You laughed and meant it, sobering for a moment before continuing. "But that's more of a birthday, anniversary type present. Not something he can open under the tree Christmas morning."

"Eh, if you say so sunshine. I don't think you can go wrong with that. It'll be the gift that keeps on giving."

Enticing thoughts aside, Aaron's face softened; a delicate, warm feeling starting in the middle of his chest and spreading outward.

Although he wished you weren't so conflicted, and despite how much he wanted to march in there, and insist you needn't worry, he felt tremendously touched that you cared to such an extent.

Anything you gave him, anything, would be special as it came from you. Truthfully, he wasn't surprised you had hit a wall in terms of ideas. Just as you said, you knew him perfectly - he wasn't a materialistic type. He himself couldn't recall one thing he wanted.

Mainly because he already had all he ever longed for. You.

Just being able to say he was yours was the greatest gift of all. The past year has been unexpected, just as you had been. Admittedly, even since you joined the BAU, he had a soft spot for you. There was something about you that had intrigued him from the start.

Not only were you kind, considerate, but you brought possibility back into his life. His always negative what ifs, had turned into what ifs, in a newfound light, because of you. You taught him to be open to all life had to offer again.

After hour paperwork sessions in his office led to late night dinners - at any joint that was still open. They then turned into not-so-late night dinners, when he finally took the initiative to ask you on a proper date. It unraveled from there - you met Jack, resulting in an effortless bond. You and Aaron quickly made things official, and it only took you six short months to move in.

You made him feel as if, somehow, loving him was easy. That with all his baggage considered, you still viewed him as someone worth loving.

Again, what more could he ask for besides that?

You exhaled as you straightened your posture, pushing past your frustrations and remaining optimistic. "Well, I'm sure I'll figure it out. I still have plenty of time, right?"

"Oh sweetie I'm positive you will. It'll strike you outta nowhere and you'll be thinking why didn't I just think of this in the first place." Penelope waved her hand in the air, unbothered. "I'm not worried. Whatever it is, you know he'll love it."

And come December 25th, Aaron entirely did.

[mamayura]

What I find interesting about Adrien's new room is not only how empty it is (duh), but that we know thanks to episode 5, Werepapas, that Adrien's old room very much is still there and fully furnished:

And mind you, its even more colorful of a kid's dream bedroom as before. On its own, there is nothing here that visually implies that the problem is that Adrien wasn't allowed to express himself in his room whatsoever. Even if there were limitations, he clearly got to break free from the colorless museum that was the Agreste Mansion.

So clearly, that's not the main problem at hand.

And this comes with interesting implications, especially because Werepapas also confirms to us that the Agreste Mansion having a new design is not just a thing we are supposed to accept as it is now because of the new story arc and art style (the way we are most likely supposed to not question why Marinette's home looks different). The flashback explicitly shows the Mansion in its old design while in the present time it's in the new design (I don't have ideal images to show that off right now, sorry):

So the Mansion having been renovated happened for real in the story. It's diegetic.

BUT, we already saw that Gabriel's office hasn't been changed, same as Emilie's old room:

These are all information we got thanks to "Werepapas" and it puts the ending of "Climatiqueen" into perspective when Adrien avoids going home and instead starts running away because that's what feels right to him in that moment:

It all amounts to what I can't imagine as anything else but immense pressure to deal with your grief while also getting no fraction of closure with eveything awful that happened to you in that home because that very home was your prison and now.. changed... but not entirely because all the main rooms that caused you so much pain are still there, but it's muddy because you don't know how to feel about anything, especially because they are now all that's left feeling FAMILIAR in your home, so no shit you're drawn to them:

I gotta be honest. The way the Mansion is being shown as this mixture of completely new and everything painful still being there as mementos already hurts me as a viewer. I can't imagine what Adrien must be feeling.

And that manifests best in his rooms. Cause, yeah, it's not just A room Adrien can't decide on, he has TWO rooms because he's that conflicted:

Clearly part of him WANTS to start anew and forget the pain of his old room by moving into a new one, but at the same time, Adrien's old room is still THERE. Untouched. He can go back there anytime and how often or little as he likes.

Adrien's new room isn't furnished yet and of course the first instinct is to say "well, Adrien is a blank slate right now, he has to figure out what he even wants!" and that's not wrong,

But I do wanna raise the question of if Adrien truly WANTS to leave his old room or if he isn't just forced to live in a home right now where it's impossible for him to get closure with the past and move on from his pain to make something better out of it, so he tries to avoid everything as much as possible while also CHANGING as little as possible.

He wants a new room but can't bring himself to even relocate his bed because that would mean he officially moved out of his old room. And that would be yet another big change on top of everything else already.

Or does he even want a whole new room in first place or is his home just such a merciless mixture of unfamiliar new and painful old memories that he can't turn his old room into something new the way he would rather prefer?

Because he wants SOMETHING new, thats clear. But his home changed so much too after everything he already lost that he's not ready to change his old room as well, so he tries to preserve it cause that's all he can do to hold onto some of the past to retain some familiarity he can hold onto, even if it means he can't actually LIVE in the room he wants right now?

Or does he genuinely not want to ever go back into his old room, but he isn't allowed to make peace with the past and that keeps him from dissembling his old room because then it would truly feel like he lost pretty much his entire childhood home on top of everything else in such a short span of time?

Don't get me wrong, I totally agree with people's instinct being "Adrien's room is empty because she doesn't now yet what he wants". But the way Adrien literally runs away from his home at the end of episode 1 because it feels natural to him to avoid going inside is a bit more than just "Adrien doesn't know what he wants".

That house is a mixture of unfamiliar shiny new and painful memories attached to everything old that remained, and no one gives him the information he needs to deal with ANY of that because it would make THEM uncomfortable to face his feelings and that's deemed more important apparently.

I sure as fuck would be running too

[mistyorchid]

Unrequited

Logan Howlett x mutant fem!reader

summary: Your deep-seated fear of rejection is the only barrier preventing you from kissing the smug grin off of Logan's face. Thankfully, Logan can smell how much you want him. *reader's power is optimism, which Logan loves distrusts. warnings: MDNI, no use of y/n, smut, age gap, reader is 21+, masturbation (fem!), scent kink, oral (fem!receiving), voyeurism, size difference, pussy worship, praise kink, pet names (sunshine, bub, doll, good girl), mention of unprotected p in v, using Logan's hair as handlebars. wc: 3.2k

Your world used to revolve around men. Now, your life revolves around the duty of saving it. If yearning for boys who never liked you back was an Olympic sport, you'd definitely win gold.

Everyone was in a good mood, having just returned from a government-sanctioned mission. The world needs the X-Men. You belonged to a community that respected your unique abilities. Powers aside, you were still a young woman yearning for romance. You forgot how it felt to be embarrassingly invested in a one-sided crush until you met Logan.

Your first mission seemed simple enough: act like Logan's arm candy for the night to investigate New York's elusive anti-mutant club. Memorize the names of club members, hide a mic in the manager's coat. In and out.

Unfortunately, Logan was more focused on how high the cut of your dress was. The unforgiving pink latex material suffocated your soft body and exaggerated the protruding curves of your breasts. As Charles described it, you needed to look like a liberated woman. The manager had a soft spot for confidence, and Charles explained that power attracts power.

Logan wished his hard cock was liberated from the uncomfortable friction caused by his slacks. That night, he learned that beauty truly is pain.

He watched as you glided around the room, earning lustful stares from the human members. Logan was ordered to blend into the crowd and allow you to complete the mission. His usual stoic demeanor was replaced with a charged, jealous glare.

"You're compromising the mission, Logan. I thought I taught you better," Charles tutted. His bald mentor checked in on their progress using cerebro's telepathic power.

Logan swatted his forehead, momentarily disoriented at the intrusion of Charles.

"Not my fault you put miss goody two-shoes in that god-awful dress," he snarled. "She's out of her element, and you know it."

"Her powers are extremely useful in this situation," Charles sighed. "You may not trust her, but her bubbly personality is the key to securing the club's trust. Just let her work . . . alone."

When the pressure in his head subsided, Logan knew that Charles no longer supervised the unholy thoughts bouncing against the adamantium confines of his brain.

He drifted to the bar and sat down, positioning the stool so he could maintain visual of your progress. Your kind eyes crinkled as you laughed and playfully swatted the manager's bicep. He painfully recalled the moment you revealed your powers to the group.

A month earlier, the X-Men gathered in the danger room to discuss how to approach the mission.

"The manager is emotionally vulnerable at this time. Surrounded by humans whose lives revolve around hate and mutant discrimination." Charles rubbed his temple to alleviate his anger.

"What is the opposite of hate?" Charles asked, turning his colleagues into students once again.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Please tell me it's not love, for Christ sakes."

"Optimism. The enemy of hate is hopefulness. Now, everyone, please give a warm welcome to our newest recruit." Charles gestured to a woman who was the physical embodiment of those girly 90s rom-coms Logan secretly enjoyed.

Her smile reached her eyes, symbolizing genuine happiness. She sported a vintage Talking Heads tee with an image of a lopsided smiley face. Logan's eyes drifted to the tiniest shorts he's ever seen, stopping just under the swell of your ass. Its whimsical star pattern complimented your sparkling teeth.

"Hey, guys. I'm so grateful to be here!" You cheered. Logan could tell you caught him staring by the sudden change in your demeanor.

Rubbing the back of your neck, you timidly explained, "Sorry about the get-up. My uniform's not ready yet."

Logan watched as you surveyed the room, eyes silently acknowledging Jean, Ororo, Scott, and Beast.

You confidently returned Logan's gaze with a dismissive scoff.

Logan found himself inexplicably drawn to your cheeriness. Usually, he distrusted kindness. It was a quality that was manipulated to deceive him countless times throughout the arduous decades of life he had unwillingly lived through.

Your benevolence seemed organic, almost innate.

You continued, "My power is optimism. In addition to what Charles explained, I can extract positive values from anyone and replace their malicious thoughts and intentions. Basically, I'll help the manager override his hatred of mutants. Hate is taught . . . I'll teach him a different lesson. One of hope, equality, and human-mutant coexistence."

Logan felt a blush brewing behind his rugged cheeks. Your eloquent explanation exuded more wisdom than he expected from a "sunshine and rainbows" type of girl. You matched his trademark cynicism with a grounded perspective of reality, but still saw the good in others.

Before Logan chose to introduce himself, Scott raised an eyebrow, silently teasing him for blushing at your words. Logan wouldn't give him the satisfaction of being right about his budding interest in the new recruit.

He mockingly countered, "That's great, a 'glass half-full' mutant has never gotten us killed before. What's your code name, Cheshire Cat? Twinkle Toes?"

Scott caught Logan's eyes and mouthed, "Nice," with a sly smirk.

You wouldn't let him bask in the reflection of tears falling down your cheeks.

Logan cursed himself as you turned to face everyone but him. "I don't have a code name. I've got nothing to hide," you coolly responded.

Your face contorted with pain as you recalled your first interaction with Logan. After you'd successfully earned the trust of the anti-mutant club manager, however, he followed you around like a lost puppy.

Everyone was confused. This behavior was extremely irregular for a man who struggled with trusting long-term friends, let alone a woman he'd only known for a month.

He was addicted to the sweet aura of unbridled positivity that radiated from you. A tale old as time, darkness intertwining with light.

The jealousy he felt during your first mission played a significant factor in his romantic interest. It took all of his restraint (and Charles' disapproving words) not to slash the throats of every man who lusted over your latex-clad form.

You remembered Logan sitting at the bar, clearly uninterested in the mission at hand. Uninterested in you.

Clearly, communication was a skill you both needed to hone.

"Nice work, sunshine." Logan clapped a hand against your shoulder, congratulating you on another successful mission.

He was genuinely proud of you. You were awarded a medal of honor by the president for using positive forces to bridge the gap between mutants and humans.

Picking up your pace, you whipped your head around to acknowledge Logan. "Thanks. You know how much I hate that nickname, right?"

As the rest of the crew filed inside the mansion, excitedly discussing how to wind down after a job well done, Logan used his leverage on your shoulder to spin you around.

"I'm sorry, bub. Love to see how red your face gets." A smug grin was plastered over his stupid, annoying, handsome face.

You paused at the mansion's entrance. "Whatever, Logan. I'm not in the mood for your belittlement."

Slipping past the kinetic hallways of mutant students, you swung open the door to your room and started to undress, hoping to destress after a long day. You shrugged off your new uniform and slipped on your favorite Talking Heads tee, not bothering to wear shorts.

"God, so annoying." You sighed, crashing face-down into the bed. You replayed the interaction with Logan, hurt etching its way into your heart.

I won't let him get to me. He makes me feel like a fuckin' teenager!

"Nice work, sunshine," you mocked in a gruff voice.

Logan doubted your abilities, ignored you on your first mission, and patronized you with nicknames. It wasn't fun being the butt of a joke at the hands of someone you secretly admired. You wondered if his recent interest in you was malicious or sincere.

Despite the telltale signs, you seriously doubted that Logan was romantically interested in you.

Never chosen, always on the prowl for scraps of affection. Never again. Your kindness had been taken advantage of before. You quickly learned that the only person who truly loved you was yourself.

Sunshine. The crinkle of his eyes, those stupid tufts of hair that make him look like a cat.

Your hands slowly slipped under the hem of your shirt, inching towards your breasts.

He was staring at my ass when I met him. Wasn't he?

Your right hand softly tweaked your sensitive nipples. Sighing, you allowed yourself to toy with the thin band of your underwear before circling your clit.

Soft moans quickly grew into labored huffs of desperation. Lost in the gratifying haze of your pleasure, you forgot an important detail about your new living arrangement.

Logan couldn't believe the sounds he was hearing.

It's as if God himself probed his mind and decided to fulfill his deepest desires.

A beautiful arrangement of moans and sighs traveled through the hollow wood wall that separated your rooms. To confirm that he wasn't hallucinating, Logan tentatively pressed his ear against the wall.

"Oh, fuck," he heard you whine in a hushed voice.

He could hear the spontaneous hitch of your breath. "Ah! Logan . . . fuuuuck."

His body reacted to the utterance of his name, unconsciously unsheathing his claws.

It took him five seconds to bridge the distance between his front door and yours.

An abrupt knock on your door forced you to pause the act of self-love you were so invested in.

"Hello? Who is it?"

Logan smirked before answering, "It's me. You okay in there? Sounds like you're having a hard time breathin, bub."

That cocky motherfucker. You slapped a hand against your mouth to muffle your surprise. He probably heard everything, you thought, moving to open the door.

"Logan! I- I'm so sorry." You started playing with the loose strands of hair framing your face. He was leaning on the door frame, his large body teasingly blocking the entrance.

His eyes flitted to your hand, noting the nervous tick. As the scent of your hair wafted into his perceptive nostrils, his pupils dilated. He noticed the unmistakable smell of your arousal.

"No need to apologize, sunshine. Just wanted to make sure you were okay." Logan tried to ignore the enticing scent emanating from your body. His eyes searched the room for a point to fixate on. Anything but your pouty lips.

He registered bare legs. The adorable way you were standing, your right leg shifted over the left to distribute your weight. Any decorum he had vanished when his eyes landed on the girly panties you were wearing.

You inched closer to his broad frame, looking up into his downcast eyes. They were still trained on your lower half.

Sunshine. The heavy weight of his gaze. Familiar hallmarks of past interactions. Except this time, he was gawking at your panties instead of those cosmic booty shorts.

"I can smell you. Can't be that unbearable to be around, hm?" Logan teased, finally making eye contact.

"No, you're still an asshole. I'm done playing hot and cold with you." Your clothed tits grazed his taut stomach.

"You want this? Because if not, I'll take it like a man and leave." Logan asked, searching your face for any signs of hesitation.

You averted your eyes. "Do you want me?"

He understood why your response was laced with insecurity. His previous actions had placed a seed of doubt in your mind. Logan gently raised your chin, tilting your eyes into his. "Of course I do, doll. I might be a stubborn asshole, but I'm not too stubborn to admit that I want you. Always have, since I first met ya."

Shock flooded your features. A charged silence lingered in the air.

You caught Logan staring at your lips.

"Just kiss me, you big oaf." You brazenly commanded.

The arm that leaned against the door frame descended to the small of your back, pulling you close to his chest.

Logan closed the gap, not wanting to give you any reason to doubt his feelings for you.

It started sweet and timid, an innocent collage of bumping noses and delicate gasps. When you pulled apart for air, a thin string of spit connected your bottom lips.

You decided you needed his lips on yours in a drastically different way.

"Since you're here, think you can help a girl out?" You pushed yourself away from Logan, palms extended to his chest. You sat on the edge of your bed, slowly spreading your legs.

Logan choked on his words. "I, uh . . . I'd love to." Once in front of you, he kneeled down on his knees.

The playful contrast between your vintage Talking Heads tee and the lacey pink panties that covered your most intimate area made him dizzy.

The frilly nature of it was enough to make him crazy, but they just had to have a cute little bow at the top.

Logan ground himself into his jeans, its denim fabric the only layer separating his cock from the air.

"You sure about this, doll?" he asked, reluctantly drawing his eyes away from your cunt to analyze yours.

You tentatively weaved your fingers through his hair, paying special attention to the tufts. When he leaned into your touch, you knew that the admission of his affection was genuine.

Your hands ghosted over his, pulling them to land on the wide expanse of your thighs.

"I need you, Logan. I want this. Want you."

That was all Logan needed to hear before he hooked four fingers around the elastic of your panties, slowly moving them off of your legs.

You shivered when the room's cool air met your bare cunt.

Logan hooked his strong arms under your knees, pulling you to the edge of the bed with ease. "Much better, doll. Wanna be close to her," he drawled, resting your legs over his shoulders.

His mouth hovered over you, fanning warm breaths that made you throb with anticipation.

Logan's lips ghosted over where the bow on your panties was and descended where you needed him most.

He gently kissed your clit, earning a soft gasp.

"Yeah, you like that, baby?" You whined a high-pitched "Mhm . . ."

Logan suddenly licked a broad stripe from your hole to your clit, collecting your wetness on the tip of his tongue.

"Need your words, bub. Wanna hear you."

He pulled away momentarily, massaging the sensitive flesh of your thighs. "Oh my god. Yes, I love it . . . please don't stop," you whined.

"That's a good-" Logan paused to pool the release still on his tongue and let gravity drip it onto your folds. "-girl. Fuck."

You sucked in a harsh breath through gritted teeth. He stared at your cunt fluttering open and closed in response to the contact, aching to be filled.

He would tend to that later. Right now, he wanted to make you feel loved, cared for.

"You taste so fuckin' sweet, doll." Logan cooed, tracing the sensitive outline of your hole before sinking two of his thick fingers into your warmth.

Your hands found purchase in his hair, gasping at the sight of him stretching your walls. He slowly thrust his fingers in and out, steadily building the tension in your body.

"Yeah, hold onto me . . . guide me where you need me." The soft squelch of your wetness made him groan into your pussy.

"Fuck . . . you sound so beautiful, baby." Logan praised, his lips pressing a tender kiss to your clit once again.

He alternated between languidly enveloping your folds with his mouth and licking urgently at your sensitive bud.

"Ah! I- I'm close, Logan." You mewled, hips suddenly rising off the bed. The spontaneous action made your clit catch on the ridge of his strong nose.

You locked his head in between your legs, thighs abruptly closing due to the contact.

"You like that, hm?" he teased. You nodded rapidly, capturing your bottom lip in an attempt to subdue the embarrassing whines Logan was drawing out from you.

Once your thighs rested back on the bed, Logan pulled your legs even closer. You couldn't believe your eyes.

He started making out with your pussy.

Logan's mouth opened and closed again and again, latching onto your swollen lips. His pursed lips glistened with your release.

He actually sighed into your body when a particularly noisy kiss made you clench around his fingers.

"That's my good girl. So responsive . . . can you come for me, baby? Wanna taste you."

He curled his fingers, coaxing the spongy pad of your cervix on every thrust. His palm met your pussy with a steady plap, burying his fingers into your crying cunt.

Your legs started shaking. Unable to stave off your release, your thighs fluttered around Logan's head.

"Oh, fuck, Logan . . ." you moaned, sharply tugging his hair while falling backward onto the bed. You couldn't bring yourself to watch his sly grin as you came undone around him.

"Yes . . . ohmygodohmygod, ah!" You incoherently babbled.

Logan playfully slapped your puffy folds, stimulating you through your orgasm.

"Aw, would 'ya look at that . . . your pussy's blushing just for me, doll." He pressed another kiss to your pulsing clit, smirking into your skin.

He slowly removed your legs from his shoulders and caged your body under his, arms outstretched so as not to crush you.

Logan traced the plush outline of your bottom lip, teasing, "Speechless, huh? Guess I'm not that big of an asshole."

Your pupils dilated as you caressed the rugged expanse of his cheek. You hummed a soft, "Mhm . . ." in response, too fucked out to mumble something more comprehensible.

"Figured you deserved to feel good after what I put you through." Logan averted his eyes. He felt guilty, opening his mouth to apologize, but you silenced him with a sloppy kiss.

You tapped his right arm, silently asking him to lay down on the bed next to you. He moved to cuddle you, but you turned around and straddled his pelvis.

Grinding over his clothed bulge, you teased, "No need to apologize, Logan." Your release was creating a noticeable wet spot on the faded denim.

His hips bucked up to meet your tantalizing movements. His back arched at the thought of his bare cock finally feeling the plush embrace of your cunt.

"Let me make it up to you . . . you deserve to feel good, too."

Logan's hands rested on your torso, stilling your hips.

"If you keep moving like that, I won't get to come inside of you. You want me to fill you up? Hm?"

You mischievously dragged your cunt over the fly of his jeans, clit catching on the button.

"Who said you couldn't come in me more than once?"

Logan wrapped his arms behind the small of your back, pulling you to crash against his broad chest. His lips found your ear.

He whispered, "You fuckin' tease. Be careful what you wish for, bub. I have regenerative powers, remember? Could fuck you for hours, if you let me."

You suddenly nipped at his earlobe. "Oh, yeah? prove it. I'm not so sure, old man."

Logan propped up your chin, caressing the supple skin of your cheeks. Eyes darting between your doe eyes and pouty lips, he responded, "If I didn't heal so fast, you'd be the death of me."

You sealed his promise with a sweet kiss. The only lack of communication in your blossoming relationship would occur during intimate moments like these, lips slotted into the other's, ethereal sighs mingling with his intoxicating groans.

an: Whew! I spent a lot of time refining this one. I'm slowly working on improving the pacing and atmosphere of my work.

[bonbonly]

i keep writing collegeau!f1 drivers, and honestly that has me thinking: (carlos, charles, max, lewis, daniel, lando and oscar! and this is sfw surprisingly lmfao)

→ carlos sainz is always out playing sports with his friends, but after a quick shower he will meet up with you in the library to study. he genuinely is really good about locking in, even if it's only for a few minutes and he manages to soak up all the information pretty fast. he's always willing to help you out, even if chooses to endlessly tease you if you get something wrong. he'll point out your mistakes, giving you more practice problems or drawing something on a board to visualize it for you. and while you do appreciate his help, it's hard to focus on the board when his hair shines like that under the light. you mutter some curses under your breath and get back to studying unaware that he secretly enjoys it when you get frustrated at him.

→ charles leclerc is awfully quiet at first and only shows up to piano rehearsals if you're there. he's very shy at first about his talent, but slowly opens up and let's you accompany him to classes and even recitals! he likes to laugh to himself if he messes up some notes, and loves when you'll lean forward to correct his fingers on the piano, his face just inches from yours. he just wishes you'd finally turn around to meet his expecting gaze, lips aching to be on yours. he plans on kissing you after his first major recital.

→ max verstappen and you both game regularly on the basis. whether it's in the computer lab, or at each others' dorms. he sometimes wishes you didn't just come to his dorm to hop on a game, but he appreciates every second he gets to spend time with you. when it comes to studying, both of you start off trying to lock in but it quickly turns into the both of you talking about how awful your professors are, or some funny story that happened to his friends. he likes to see you laugh, because it's when you really are yourself.

→ lewis hamilton likes to tag along with you when you're at karaoke events with your friends. he insists he can't sing, choosing to shy away from the spotlight. but after a couple drinks, and the way your hand wraps around his arm, tugging him to your warm body, he eventually gives in. the two of you spend most of the night screaming lyrics at each other and giggling hysterically when either of you mess up a line or two while singing. lewis swears he would love to live the rest of his like this with you.

→ daniel ricciardo ends up in your cooking class that you took solely because you needed a free elective. most of the class however is spent with dealing with his antics. he's tossing the flour at you, cracking the most awful jokes while cracking eggs (don't even ask) and all you can do is sit there and groan out loud. however, after a few classes, you realize that the class genuinely was boring and daniel was the only good thing about it. you'd sometimes grab his finished dishes and munch on it, which only causes him to lunge at you and now the both of you are on the ground laughing trying to explain to your professor why your casserole is now on the ground.

→ lando norris unfortunately decided to work at the university's daycare since all his money was going down at the clubs, and you show up to help him because you knew he was going to get overwhelmed. he was currently tackling a 3 year old who refused to let go of his curls, and you laugh out loud before running over to help him. when you manage to calm down the toddler and sing a few lullabies, lando's gaze softens and he can't help but secretly dream of having kids with you after you both graduate, having a small lovely family.

→ oscar piastri sits in the front of the class besides you. it's a hobby for the both of you to listen to the answers your peers give you, and turn around to give the nastiest side-eye ever. outside of class, the two of you laugh about what some of the responses were and you sometimes ask him if he ever judges you like that. he shakes his head, and says no. deep down, he wants to tell you that he thinks the world of you, but he keeps his mouth shut for now. what if you end up judging him instead?

[rainerioun]

𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖥𝖴𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖤 𝖲𝖯𝖮𝖴𝖲𝖤'𝖲 𝖥𝖠𝖵𝖮𝖱𝖨𝖳𝖤𝖲 𝖵𝖲. 𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱𝖲 | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— This will explore what your future spouse will love 'most' about you, and vice versa. If you feel more aligned with the first half, simply swap the perspectives. Sometimes, you might resonate more with your future spouse's vibe. Thank you!

ORIGINAL DATE POSTED : MARCH 29TH, 2024.

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST | KO-FI

PILE ONE

What Will They Like Most About You Physically? Figure, Height, Fingers, Hands.

When pulling out traits, I found several signs indicating a plump or chubby appearance. If you relate to this, rest assured they adore it, especially how it complements your height. I envision someone squeezing a teddy bear - in this case, you. They find you incredibly cute. Your hands and fingers, perhaps used frequently in your work or hobbies, captivate them. They'll marvel at the way your fingers glide over a page or mold something, appreciating your movements. It feels very poetic, in a way.

What Will They Like Most About You Mentally? Free Spirit, Sensitive, Homebody, Unstoppable.

Aw, your future spouse will surely have a nurturing side. They'll tend to coddle you, in a healthy way, of course. They admire how you pursue your desires with a free-spirited approach despite your introverted and sensitive nature. They'll likely encourage you to take breaks and relax, treating you like royalty. There's a distinct vibe of 'I hate everyone but you' coming through.

What Will They Like Most About You? Teacher — Light : Ability to Communicate Knowledge, Experience, Skill or Wisdom. Healer — Light : Passion to Serve Others by Repairing the Body, Mind, and Spirit. Ability to Help Transform Pain into Healing. Guide — Light : Represents the Nature of the Divine in Life and in Yourself.

They'll be quick to notice your depth of knowledge, not just on a conventional level but also on a spiritual one. Your future spouse will appreciate your natural ability to teach, guide, and heal others even when it's not your intention. Your wisdom may extend to philosophical terms, offering advice on profound matters that aren't easily grasped by others.

What Will They Like Most About You? Crow : Spiritually Strong, Creative, Watchful, Psychic, Strong, Clear. Butterfly : Undergoing Great Change and Transformation. Cheerful, Graceful.

Your future spouse will lean towards practicality more than you do and might not gravitate toward certain metaphysical ideas and theories as easily as you. They'll be amazed by your ability to understand such concepts. While they are intelligent, they tend to favor strict rules, whereas you thrive on constant change and learning experiences.

I'd like to add that I sense this person is deliberately holding back, choosing not to reveal much. They want it to be a surprise just how much they love you. Don't worry, they genuinely adore everything about you, even though they may have favorites.

What Will You Like Most About Them Physically? Hair, Rugged, Nose, Tired-Looking, Eyelashes, Face Shape.

When I was pulling traits, I couldn't help but think of Shōta Aizawa from My Hero Academia in terms of appearance, haha. Of course, this could be a woman or nonbinary individual, but they definitely give off a similar vibe physically. They might appear a bit rough or scruffy, and you'll find that attractive. I'm not getting any specifics on hair color, but I envision thick, longer hair that might look a bit disheveled. They possess that tired charm, which softens their face in a way. I see them having a hooked nose of some kind.

What Will You Like Most About Them Mentally? Spiritual, Reliable, Oblivious, Compassionate, Sassy, Intelligent, Mysterious.

Once again, your future spouse is intelligent but may lack in certain areas that you find amusing. They possess two distinct sides, perhaps being book-smart but lacking in common sense. However, I believe you'll help balance them out, whatever the situation may be. They'll initially have a mysterious, stoic persona, but you'll have the ability to break through it and discover their true sweetness. You will enjoy receiving attention from them, considering their reserved nature. While your humor aligns in some ways, this person is likely more inclined towards being sassy and witty rather than being a 'jokester'. At first, they won't be heavily into spirituality, or whatever you practice, but they'll become intrigued by your experiences and eventually find themselves following in your footsteps.

What Will You Like Most About Them? Storyteller — Light : Ability to Experience and Express Life through Stories and Symbols. Prince — Light : Romantic Charm and Potential for Power. Poet — Light : Expresses Soul Insights in Symbolic Language. Hermit — Light : Seeks Solitude to Focus Intently on Inner Life. Serves Personal Creativity.

Your future spouse is someone who expresses and feels love in an incredibly artistic manner. They have a secret, hopeless romantic inside. It's not just modern love; it's almost like you both worship each other, which I find incredibly beautiful. Seeing you in such a light will lead them to see you in other things, like art pieces or written words. They love you wholeheartedly. Adding on, creatively, you'll complement each other well. One side may lean towards being artistic and dreamy, while the other is innovative and a bit nerdy. You are both bound to swoon over each other.

What Will You Like Most About Them? Eagle : All-Pervading Power, Truth Seeker, Transforms Karma, Bright, Radiant, Challenger. Tiger : Lunar Force, Ease in Darkness, Passionate, Strong, Sensual.

With the eagle card, I'm not picking up on what you'll like about them, but rather another message about how you'll spark intense curiosity in them. You will inspire them to enlighten themselves and become an even better version of themselves with your teachings and guidance. Now, for the next card, this is something you'll definitely appreciate about them. I don't sense that this person will be shy when it comes to intimacy, in any form, and they won't hold back in showing how they love you.

Extra : Journaling, Eye Contact, Flowers, Parallel Play, Running Fingers Through Hair, Late Mornings, Poetry, Leaving Notes.

Best Mistake : Ariana Grande. | Movement : Hozier.

PILE TWO

What Will They Like Most About You Physically? Eyes, Hair, Piercings, Harmonious Features.

Your future spouse believes that your hair and features complement each other perfectly, creating harmony. Your hair may frame your face. They'll enjoy gazing into your eyes, possibly because of the connection they feel or simply because they find them captivating, whether it's the shape, color, or both. If you have an alternative style, such as piercings, tattoos, or darker attire, they find it very alluring.

What Will They Like Most About You Mentally? Wit, Sneaky, Bookworm, Deep-Thinker, Reserved, Needy.

This person views you as a fox, sly, clever, and witty, and they're drawn to that energy. They appreciate your complexity and the fact that you're not always straightforward; it keeps things interesting. They enjoy being challenged intellectually. However, they also appreciate the softer side of you when you're relaxed and in need, and they'll gladly cater to you. I imagine them watching you as you indulge in your hobbies, eager to hear you gush about your interests.

What Will They Like Most About You? Advocate — Light : Inspires You to Put Compassion into Action. Poet — Light : Expresses Soul Insights in Symbolic Language. Child : Nature — Light : Friendships with Animals. Communication with Nature Spirits.

Whatever way you choose to create and express yourself, whether, through art, music, or even activities like photography, they'll find it intriguing. They admire both your process and the results you achieve. This person will always be your supporter. You might work with animals, and they appreciate your gentleness and kindness towards them, or perhaps animals hold significance in your connection.

What Will They Like Most About You? Nightingale : Fearless Voice, Speech, Communication, or Song. Sings and Speaks Freely with Kindness. Moth : Impulsive, Hasty, Wishful, Enthusiastic, Whimsical.

When I pulled the cards, I initially wrote down the wrong definition for the nightingale. I've corrected it, but I thought the previous message might still resonate. If you're someone naturally very curious and actively trying to learn, they'll follow right behind you. They're loyal, just like you, and will start doing things you do because they're inspired by your enthusiasm and positivity. If you were drawn to pile one, I'd recommend giving it a read as well. You may find something there because these piles are quite similar.

An additional message is that you and your future spouse will connect through music, whether it's listening together or separately. So, you could be receiving signs now through songs.

What Will You Like Most About Them Physically? Texture of Hair, Tone of Skin, Height, Prominent Nose, Dyed Hair.

I sense your future spouse might have an alternative style as well, but it's not a must. If you're into dyed hair, they'll likely have it They could change colors with the seasons to suit their skin tone, or the color they have fits them year-round. You will enjoy the feel of their hair due to the texture which causes you to play with it. Generally, if you're taller than average, they'll be shorter, and if you're average height, they'll be similar. Either way, you'll like looking down at them or meeting their gaze directly.

Once again, whether you're drawn to pile one or not, I'd suggest going back and giving it a read as well. While the energies differ, I sense the message is similar. I feel like this pile is suited for individuals with eccentric tastes.

What Will You Like Most About Them Mentally? Sweetheart, Odd Humor, Confident, Adaptable, Ambivert, Clingy.

You and your future spouse will be inseparable, attached to the hip, if not driven by their clinginess then it's your own. It's something that makes both of you feel secure. They are the type to talk your ear off. This person's humor leans towards the darker or drier side. They might find everything amusing, but particularly society's less-than-normal aspects.

What Will You Like Most About Them? Networker — Light : Enchanted Unity through the Sharing of Informations. Engenders Social Awareness and Empathy. Gossip — Light : Awakens Consideration for the Feeling of Others. Honoring Trust.

I wasn't kidding when I said your future spouse will talk your ear off. They are quite the chatterbox. They'll be a drama queen, regardless of gender, but I think it's in a very playful and goofy way. You'll find it charming. They'll get super excited and giddy when they have a juicy secret to share with you. They're such a sweetheart that they would never intend any negativity, just relaying information without passing genuine judgment.

What Will You Like Most About Them? Octopus : Reaching, Yearning, Lacking Boundaries and Direction. Getting into Other People's Business and Sharing Their Own. Interested, Engaged. Wolf : Guardian of Family and Tribe. Activism, Ritual, Reliable, Fearless, Democratic. Embrace All, Exclude None.

What have I been saying? This person cracks me up. You'll adore how dependable they are, always a shoulder to cry on or a pillar of stability for you and others. They're just a people person. I sense they could become overly sensitive, requiring alone time. They tend to overshare, which is amusing when it's just the two of you, but you might need to help them rein it in around others. They can be a bit oblivious to social cues and may need some guidance when they're pushing the boundaries.

I sense they're internally extroverted but can get overwhelmed and find it difficult to handle social situations, even if they desire socialization.

Extra : Movie Nights, Bubble Baths, Parks, Sunshine, Wheezing, Glasses Perched on Nose, Comfort through Affection, Wrapped in a Blanket, Cheek Kisses.

Valentine : Laufey. | November : Sparkbird.

PILE THREE

What Will They Like Most About You Physically? Glow, Eyebrows, Lips, Your Frame.

Your future spouse will be drawn to the glow you exude. They find your bright personality radiating through every aspect of you, from your skin's natural shine to your expressive eyes and the curve of your lips. Even the way you carry yourself captivates them, unintentionally flaunting, which catches their attention.

What Will They Like Most About You Mentally? Innocent, Active, Hardworking, Compassion.

Firstly, they hold you dear, especially if you're not one to pause or slow down due to your hardworking nature. You could have somewhat of an innocent worldview—not that you don't understand hardship, but you maintain a strength and light that others lack. They'll absolutely love this side of you and cherish you.

What Will They Like Most About You? Fool — Light : Fearlessly Revealing Emotion. Helping People Laugh at Absurdity and Hypocrisy. Warrior — Light : Strength, Skill, Disipline, and Toughness of Will. Heroism, Stoicism, and Self-Sacrifice in Conquering the Ego. Mediator — Light : Gift for Negotiating Fairness and Strategy in Personal and Professional Life. Respect for Both Sides of an Arguement.

Your future spouse will admire how, despite being a logical person, you're not afraid to show emotion when necessary. You navigate life with a balance of logic and emotion, displaying good discipline. You're not impulsive and can guide others through hardships without coming across as harsh, bringing lightheartedness and fairness into the mix. They'll find this quality honorable. Your humor always serves as a mediator in situations, never failing to lighten the mood for them and others.

What Will They Like Most About You? Cobra : Pausing, Waiting, The Inner Teacher, A Student of Life, Humble, Wise. Fire Ant : Aggression, Rigid Thinking, Following Orders, Thoughtful, Disciplined, Heat.

Your future partner could have experienced instability with others in the past due to hasty behavior, or they struggle themselves with acting too quickly. On the other hand, you give yourself time, thinking before you act. Yet, when you do move forward, you do so with an assertive and direct demeanor, which makes them grateful they can lean on you for stability.

What Will You Like Most About Them Physically? Nose, Neck / Collar Bone Area, Elegant and Composed, Chin, 'Bunny Beauty'.

Your future spouse has a very approachable appearance. Their face might remind many of a bunny. I imagine this person with a rounder nose and face, perhaps chubby cheeks, but with a prominent chin and jaw instead. They look well put together and carry an elegant quality about them. You'll endlessly adore your partner. It's very cute.

What Will You Like Most About Them Mentally? Bad Mouth, Neat, Stubborn, Loyal.

Their appearance versus their personality could easily turn heads. They seem sweet and soft, but use harsh language often, cussing like a sailor. They look nice but act naughty. They're also incredibly stubborn, which apparently you'll find appealing. You'll anticipate others' reactions when they open their mouth, finding it amusing. As for you, I sense it's the opposite. You might appear a bit intimidating but are actually very gentle.

What Will You Like Most About Them? Detective — Light : Great Powers of Observation and Intuition. Desire to Seek Out the Truth. Midas/Miser — Light : Entrepreneurial or Creative Ability to Turn Anything to Gold. Delight in Sharing Life's Riches.

This person will readily share their wealth or achievements with you. Your future spouse might have a good-paying job, or money could come easily to them, possibly through generational wealth. However, I sense that they just know how to handle money wisely and earn it with help from their well-built knowledge.

I don't get the sense that they're materialistic or chasing money, but rather that they invest in things that make a meaningful impact, like travel or once-in-a-lifetime experiences. They have achieved financial stability, but they also have wealth in terms of nonmaterial things.

What Will You Like Most About Them? Bat : Darkness, Letting Go, Death Leading to Rebirth, Excepts and Adapts, Adjusts. Swan : Effortless, Creativity, Sensitive Mystic, Elegant Power.

Returning to that elegant aura they have, I can't pinpoint exactly what causes it, but it might be because they are highly intuitive and sensitive to others' thoughts and feelings. They easily pick up on these subtleties and can adapt and change accordingly. Despite their effortless beauty, they are a complex person on the inside. You find them to be a puzzle worth solving.

Additional. Another Message.

For a few of you, I believe you may not immediately hit it off with your future spouse. Your composed nature might clash with their boldness, leading to disagreements stemming from stubbornness or a desire for "correct behavior." However, you'll both eventually look past it, but initially, it might feel like something out of an enemies-to-lovers book. It won't be extreme, but it could get a little heated. This could form in a workplace.

[NEVER SETTLE FOR SOMETHING TOXIC. I MEANT SIMPLE BANTER, NOT ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR.]

Extra : Sleek Attire, Slicked Hair, RomCom, Tattoos, Generational Insight/Knowledge, Promise Rings, Military, Dreamy, Shared Earbuds, Sharp Glares and Glances.

Make You Feel Good : Fetty Wap. | Powerful : Major Lazer. | Cry : Cigarettes After Sex.

PILE FOUR

What Will They Like Most About You Physically? Voice, Beauty Marks, Lips, Eyes.

I want to mention that either you or this individual could be a musician, while the other serves as a muse. Whether or not it's you, your future partner will love hearing you sing. They find your everyday speaking voice charming, especially its soft, breathy quality. While eye contact with them may not be 'intense', it feels profoundly connecting and grounding. If you wear makeup, this person likes it. Perhaps it's the shape of your lips or their natural color, but I believe that wearing lipstick or gloss, anything that enhances your features will allure them even more.

What Will They Like Most About You Mentally? Shy, Tender, Well-Versed, Open, Quiet, Devoted.

Aw, I wish I could give you all a hug! You're so tender and gentle in both your words and your actions. You're devoted not only to your loved ones but also to the things that bring you joy. Your future spouse will find this incredibly endearing.

I'm sensing more about how deeply they love you rather than the specifics of what they like. When you meet this person, it'll feel like being showered with affection and passion. They genuinely value every aspect of you and want to express that.

What Will They Like Most About You? Angel — Light : Helping Those In Need with No Expectation of Return. Damsel — Light : Understanding the Nature of Healthy Romance. Inspires You to Rely on Yourself.

You not only embody the qualities of the cards, but I sense that your future spouse will view you as an angel. They might even adopt it as a nickname if you're fond of the idea. You're the shining beacon in their life, their prince/princess, which I admit can sound a bit cheesy or even cringe, but in your case, it's incredibly sincere and pure.

What Will They Like Most About You? Peacock : Inner Beauty, Compassion, Confident, Kind. Gazelle : Heighten Awareness, Ability, Vulnerable, Perceptive, Graceful.

Your future spouse sees you as stunning both on the outside and within. Your physical beauty is undeniable, but it's your soul that truly captivates them. They'll be in awe of its depth and beauty. Your future spouse may gawk awkwardly over you, yet it will be funny.

What Will You Like Most About Them Physically? Physically Expressive, Dewy Skin, 'Cat Beauty', Pout, Clear Skin, Freckles.

This person's skincare routine is godly. Their eyes and gestures are incredibly expressive, drawing people in. You'll notice their natural pout, which adds to their charm. Their features will have a feline or fierce quality, with high cheekbones, defined features, and possibly a smaller yet thick nose. They might also have a longer face or narrow eyes.

What Will You Like Most About Them Mentally? Funny, Loner, Eccentric, Sensitive, Humble.

Your person is a bit of an oddball, in the best way. They embrace their inner nerd or geek often. Your personalities are a perfect match, and I can see you both enjoying plenty of alone time together because you don't drain each other's social batteries. They're self-aware and true to themselves, no matter what.

What Will You Like Most About Them? Don Juan — Light : Spotlights Your Positive Seductive Qualities. Child : Eternal — Light : Determination to Remain Young in Body, Mind, and Spirit. Ability to See Things with Fresh Eyes. Guide — Light : Represents the Nature of the Divine in Life and in Yourself.

While they may seem reserved, this person radiates confidence when they're with you. They know how to play their cards right—they can talk the talk and walk the walk. But underneath it all, they're playful and childlike at heart. No matter how old they get, they'll always carry a lighthearted and curious energy, like a kid. Life with them will never be boring.

What Will You Like Most About Them? Black Egg : Speaking from an Authentic Voice, Truth. Bee : Earnest, Hard-Working, Content, Vibrant.

Your future spouse will be an honest person, always speaking their inner truth, even with strangers. They're not afraid to be vibrant, and I have a feeling that will influence you as well. Communication is important to them in this life. As I mentioned earlier, they could be a musician. If not, with their persuasive skills, they could find success as a public speaker or influencer of some sort.

Extra : Spying From Corners or Doorways [Playfully, of course], Singing, Puppy Dog/Pleading Eyes, Feather-Light Touch, Pinky Promise, Junk Drawer, Piggy Bank.

Don’t Be Afraid : Carpenters. | Brooklyn : Lana Del Rey.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Various Toons x fem!reader who constantly forgets things, suffering from mild amnesia or a cognitive disorder 🥹

Various toons x fem!reader who struggles with memory

Working on requests before I get to work on other stuff wooo yeah

Characters: brightney, vee, sprout

Notes: short post, gn reader, toon reader, written on mobile, unspecified reason for readers struggles

CWs: anxiety related to memory loss/being jumbled in sprouts part

BRIGHTNEY

She really feels for you... and she's going to do some reading up to find some ways to help you. One of the first things she proposes is journaling

It's not perfect but at least if you write something down you can come back to it later-- she keeps a log herself as a backup to help keep things consistent

She maintains routines with you, and if you struggle she's not going to make you feel bad for it... gentle visual cues to help you get back into routine

VEE

Very similar to Brightney in regards to taking it a log- but instead of writing it down in a notebook somewhere, she has it written inside her in a document. Just say the word and she'll pull it up for you

Sometimes she can come off as unfeeling but genuinely she has sympathy for you. She's just not the best with expressing that sometimes...

She will NOT tolerate anyone giving you flack for struggling

SPROUT

Always always checking in on you when he can to make sure you're doing alright. He knows he'd (hopefully) never relate, but he can see how forgetting things or getting confused leaves you with... bad days... he walks you through it all and offers words of comfort- or if you'd prefer, a distraction... just know he's going to bring it up later when you're in a better space

He approaches his fellow toons for ideas on how to help you- reassuring words can only do so much and he feels awful just standing there

He's always nearby, he doesn't like being away for long- and some visitors or even other toons can be... less than understanding..

[cherrycranes]

Dream Girl 2 (Neil Lewis x Fem!Reader) [+18]

Pairing: Neil Lewis x Fem!Reader Summary: You've been video calling Neil for quite some time now, and finally, you decide it's time to go to Gumshoe Video to meet your biggest fan. Word count: 5,211 Contents: (Minors DNI). Reader is a camgirl. Fluff & smut, praise, unprotected sex, cream pie. Author's notes: Finally, the promised part 2 of this fic, and a collab with queen @fuckiingloser. Mandatory "english is not my first language" disclaimer. Pinterest moodboard at the bottom to help you visualize <3

It had been over a month ago. The initial video call with Neil had blossomed into three more that were, of course, free of charge and highly anticipated by the butterflies in your stomach. Every time they seemed to get better. Skype was replaced by facetime for much more efficiency and besides the expected masturbation and flirtations, there were also laughter and long conversations that would mostly surpass the time spent jerking off. 

After his softly declined attempt on that first call, Neil never brought up meeting again, afraid of scaring you away. Whenever the idea of just how desperate and rushed he must have looked came to memory, he chastised himself. A phenomenon that increased in frequency the longer he spent calling you. You were unbelievable, and you deserved the best of the best. His best self too… Put in a very critical situation, Neil had started to accept that he had a huge crush on you that grew the more he got to know about you. He could have sworn he physically felt it in his chest when, one day, you told him your name. Your real name.

Unbeknownst to him, you felt it too. Everything, in fact. Your previous experiences kept your feelings much better hidden but never cut them off. Neil was just everything you never saw in men. Sweet, cute, emotionally intelligent… His very presence made you realize just how awful, narcissistic and selfish every guy you had dated before was. 

There was something so refreshing about talking with a man whose desire to hear you moan coexisted perfectly fine with his genuine want to hear you speak. You were so beautiful and also so great to talk with. Neil seemed to know that, and it was way too good. Probably the real reason why you intended to keep your feelings at bay, despite the butterflies everytime he popped on your screen. 

Also, there was your own need for safety. No matter how sweet, Neil was still a man and a subscriber. Disclosing too much personal information was a no-go, but you found yourself stuck in the dilemma of wanting him to know you better and wanting to keep some privacy.

You had a facetime scheduled for the next day, despite your cautions you were obviously excited. A cute little purple set Neil would absolutely love hung in anticipation on your closet door at home while you ran some errands, then, a little notification sound distracted you and brought you the news:

“hey beautiful, i’m so so sorry to do this… but one of my employees had a family emergency and can’t cover their shift tomorrow at the store. no one can cover so i have to work unfortunately. i’m so sorry. i hope you’re not upset with me… i was really looking forward to seeing you. hoping we can reschedule?” - neil 

Your face fell a bit upon reading that, still, you understood. He had a business to run and was probably much more upset than you. After a pleasantly soothing reply and a request for a needed reschedule, you carried on. A few seconds and you already missed him, even if you wouldn't show it.

Night fell upon you, you crawled into your baby pink bed with your head reeling and Neil occupying every thought. One impulse was enough to get you to open google maps on your phone and type two words on the search bar: Gumshoe Video.

35 minutes away.

The highlighted blue showed you a different set of routes and transports you could use to get there. To get to him. Gears spun inside your head and then, your own mind locked your phone off. 

That night you tossed and turned in bed for what seemed hours, overthinking it all until sleep finally took over. In the morning Neil still lingered on as you went about your usual routine. The more you pushed him to the back of your head, the stronger he returned. 

Still reeling, you logged into your Onlyfans for some everyday work. When you checked your messages, skipped the creepy ones and answered to politer ones, you found one from Neil sent that morning in response to a lingerie selfie you had sent out the night before.

“god you are the most stunning woman on the planet…”

Heat rushed to your face, smiling at your screen like a schoolgirl overcome with tenderness until something clicked in your brain.

It had to be today.

Pretty much on autopilot and running on adrenaline, you scavenged your closet and tried on five different outfits, finally satisfied with a little pink top with a tiny bow in the middle and a short jean skirt perfect for a hot summer night and for pale blue eyes that loved you in pink. After redoing your hair twice and finding a beautiful reflection in the mirror, you got hold of your bag and phone and headed out towards the train station. Fast enough to not have time to psych yourself out and do a 180 turn back home. 

The train ride to the closest station to Gumshoe Video was when the doubts started to pop in your head. Questions about your own sanity or about how normal your actions were floated all around you the closer it got you to him. Did you make the right choice? Would he be actually glad to see you? What if your arrival annoyed him? Who just shows up somewhere unannounced after previously rejecting someone? Were you fucking insane? 

As you looked out at the city skyline and the war in your mind raged on something persisted: that beautiful smile of plump rosy lips and an endearingly crooked tooth on his lower jaw, that voice with warm undertones and sometimes little purrs, those beautiful eyes of blue that made you think of clear spring skies.

Not going would be insane.

****

Around 8 pm, at a very dead Gumshoe Video, Neil stood behind the counter. Bored. Absentmindedly, he seeked some entertainment by processing a few returned tapes and sometimes glancing towards the tv in the corner to catch a glimpse of the movie playing. 

He was dressed in a ridiculous jail jumpsuit costume as a way to promote the sale going on at the store that weekend. However, despite his efforts and the resourceful way he had thematically decorated his store, there were a million things he’d rather be doing on a Saturday night than be there. One in particular. Seeing his favorite girl. Watching her smile, listening to her laughter and her pretty moans…

But alas, instead of jerking off with her, he was there, all alone. Painfully aware that it would go on and on. The beautiful summer night invited people to go do anything else that wasn’t renting movies from his little store, and he knew it. Still, he couldn’t afford to go home, just in case somebody crazy or socially dead enough decided to actually come in and rent something to watch at home.

Once all the tapes were processed and back inside their cardboard or plastic sleeves, Neil disappeared into the backroom, a ring of the doorbell interrupting his thoughts.

“I'll be right out...” He called out loudly, pushing the last batch of tapes onto the shelf and pulling one out he had forgotten he had. With his gaze fixed on the synopsis, he walked back into the store to greet the customer, his heart immediately stopping when the arial print letters were replaced by the sight of an angel.

That pretty hair, those lovely eyes, a little pink top and a little short jean skirt hugging that beautiful body… It was you. Actually you.

Neil’s eyes went as wide as they could, his body froze in place for the second he spent wondering if it was his mind playing tricks on him or not. You exchanged gazes the whole time. Your hands shook like a leaf and your heart pumped madly in an anticipatory crescendo, the lines between being a tangible reality and an internet fantasy completely blurred. A part of you started to wonder just how welcomed you were or, in a rush of pure anxiety, if he was disappointed in any way.

“Hi.” You finally whispered, testing the waters and breaking the increasingly uncomfortable silence. You saw the way his spit went down his throat in a gulp of preparation and how his eyelashes fluttered twice before he finally had the courage to speak.

“You… You’re here…” Neil was in pure, utter, cute, adorable disbelief, and it got a smile and a small laugh from you.

“I am… I just wanted to see you… I took the train…” You rambled, with your head still fuzzy.

In between your own whirlwind of beautiful yet heart-thumping feelings, Neil finally walked up to you, forgetting all about the vhs tape on his hands and automatically setting it aside. Instead, his focus was on you, the very few inches between you two, the way you looked at him and studied his face up close, finally free of the veil of the computer screen. God, he was even better looking in person. His eyes were bluer, hypnotizing. His lips looked even rosier and he had cute light freckles that the camera had failed to capture. You just hoped that the amazement was mutual.

Looking down at you with those sweet pale eyes, he held your gaze, the knowledge that you were real, that you were here finally settling in.

“You are so gorgeous… Even more so in person…” He whispered, his hand already reaching out to touch yours ever so gently, just to make sure he wasn’t actually mistaken about your tangibility.

For the first time in what you were sure was forever, you got shy. Your head lowered and your face burned. Gentle sparks filled your stomach as he came up to use a finger to tilt your chin up.

“Don’t hide from me…” he whispered gently. 

Smiling softly, you looked into his eyes. 

“I can't believe you’re here” Neil continued, his voice soft and adoring. 

“I know it's kind of crazy of me to just show up but… I was just sad you couldn’t make our call…” Your voice was just as soft, his fingers laced with yours like they were meant to be there.

“I was upset too about missing it… I had been looking forward to it all week…” He admitted with a soft smile. “But now I'm even happier you’re here… You are so beautiful.” God, he was just the sweetest thing on earth. The kindest man you had ever met.

After the initial feelings, you finally allowed your eyes to discover your surroundings. Gumshoe Video was a small, cute, kitschy and very Neil Lewisesque store that the google maps pictures didn’t do justice. It was truly him transformed into a place.

“I love the store…” You smiled, your sight drawn to the tv and the old movie playing: Brief Encounter. 

“I've had it on at the store for almost a month… It makes me think of you…” Neil admitted, a callback to your first call that made your heart burst. 

“I love the outfit too…” Now you confessed, visions of gray and white stripes making you chuckle. “Prison Break vibes…” Your joke lightened the mood, he shook his head in sweet embarrassment. 

“If I would have known you’d be here… I would have never worn it…” He chuckled, Brief Encounter in the background took over for a moment as he took your presence in and embraced it.

“We close in about an hour but I could close up a little early… It’s dead anyway. Maybe we could… I don't know��� Maybe watch a movie together?” He finally gathered the courage to speak with a nervous and hopeful smile. Butterflies flew wildly in your stomach and the answer was obvious.

“Yeah, I'd love that…” With that, Neil stepped away to lock the door and turn the open sign off. Officially, he was all yours for the night.

“Let me get out of this stupid costume… Go ahead and pick anything you want to watch, I'll be right back...” Neil and all his sweet smile disappeared into the back of the store, leaving you to browse the store and run your well manicured fingers over the spines of the vhs tapes. Every touch to the smooth plastic only reassured you, you were really there… with him, in all his simple short sleeve button up, black pants and converse glory that returned to the store. He was so casual yet so hot, everything yours tingled when he came over to you.

“Seeing anything you like?” He flashed you that pretty smile once again, nearly distracting you from the mental lists of titles you found interesting. 

“Seeing a few things I like…” You flirted a little as you looked right at him, less shy than earlier and coming back to yourself. A rush of satisfaction took over you when he blushed a bit.

“What about Notting Hill?” You pulled the respective tape off the shelf with a perfectly convincing smile. 

“Good pick… Very fitting for our dynamic I suppose… Just a few minor differences…” Neil winked, taking the tape and going straight to put the movie on for you. Getting comfortable on the couch, a little excited smirk formed upon your lips when he turned off the lights, making it so the tv, the sun setting outside and the numerous neon signs inside the store gave the room a dull sensual glow. 

Eventually, he sat down next to you exuding both anxiety and adoration… You were his dream girl after all… And you were in his store, on his couch, watching a romantic movie… Anything could happen…

He pressed play on the remote and you settled in, despite this being the first meeting in the flesh you felt like you belonged in his presence. 

Notting Hill rolled on and despite everything, you were focused on Neil only. His refined side profile glowed with the colors on the screen. His soft brown curls, his pink lips, and pretty blue eyes drew you in more than any movie could, no matter how great. Still, it would have been rude to not pay attention to Julia Roberts, so you snapped out of it and returned to the story… Or at least you tried.

Neil’s big hand moved to touch your exposed thigh, making your breath hitch slightly. Despite how sudden it was, the touch was so soft, so reverent, and, quite honestly, arousing. The purple lace beneath your skirt dampened. All those nights you touched yourself and imagined his hands on you seemed so distant now that you were finally there, with him. 

Did you really want to waste time?

Your eyes met in the dim light, the tension between you surviving off the licks to his own lips and the glances you gave to them. When he did the same to you, no words were needed. 

You leaned in fast, your lips finally meeting after desiring each other for so long. Electricity ran wild between your bodies, from the tips of your meeting tongues to the tips of your fingers on the back of his neck. Neil groaned softly yet gripped your thigh hard, just in case you wanted to vanish into thin air and leave him longing forever for this hot, sensual, passionate kiss you were sharing. To his relief, you got into his lap, proving to him again just how real everything was. Your tiny jean skirt rolled up even higher as you straddled his thighs, finishing with the last supply of air he had in his lungs. He had to pull back, admiring you between ragged breaths.

“Fuck you are so hot…” Neil rasped almost in disbelief, hands on your sides and cock twitching to life in his jeans. The tempting flesh of your ass got a soft squeeze that made you moan, his eyes traced a path of adoration from your parted lips all the way down to your cleavage.

“These perfect tits…” He whispered, his hand cupping one over the flimsy tank top you took ages to select and had proven to be the right choice. He squeezed it gently, his thumb rubbing over your hard nipple gently. “You are unreal…” 

With the eagerness to please he had and all the amazement you felt at his sweetness and passion, you found yourself lost in his kiss again, grinding against his lap. Neil moaned into your mouth when your hand snaked between you and squeezed the bulge in his pants. You had seen it before, you knew it was a sizable handful but no amount of pixels could actually prepare you for the feeling of it, for the way it twitched beneath the denim and your moving hand when you bit his lower lip.

“We-we should move this to my office…” Neil stammered right after pulling back for air. “Anyone can see through the front windows…” He panted.

“Mmm, naughty naughty….” You smirked, play-pretending to scold him with that sensual tone of voice he adored. “You wanna fuck me over your desk, huh?”. 

Neil’s baby blues widened a bit and he nodded with a shortness of breath.

“Jesus, yes- more than anything…” He breathed. 

“Well…Looks like it’s your lucky day…” Getting off his lap, you offered him a hand and a sexy smirk.

“Today’s already been the best day of my life… This is just the cherry on top…” He took your hand, once he was standing he wrapped an arm around you and kissed you all the way to his little office in the back. A cute, dorky, perfect cozy space that was just like him and was going to bear witness to what could happen between you behind closed (and cautiously locked) doors.

You sat on top of his desk like a throne, leaned back on your elbows just to show him everything he was about to have.

“Fuuuck me.” Neil groaned at the sight. “I need this little skirt gone…” As direct as his words, his hand undid the bronze button and zipper and tugged the denim down to your thighs before losing it somewhere. Your little purple lace thong greeted his hungry eyes and blessed his fingertip.

“Feels so good to touch after so long of just watching…” Adoring disbelief filled each of Neil’s words, sending a pulse of desire straight to your core. You looked at him, the way he stood between your parted legs and soaked in the feeling of having you laid out on his desk for him. 

“Felt good to touch your cock for the first time after just watching… Felt good in my hand… Can’t imagine how good it’ll feel when you fuck me with it…” You purred, your desire for his touch speaking through your mouth. 

He smirked, fingers hooking on the purple band of your thong and taking it to meet your lost skirt. The pink tank top followed not long after, leaving you completely naked on the cool wooden surface.

He nearly made his lip bleed from how hard he bit it, the sight of your perfect pussy and tits worth every second of wait, more so now in the flesh, in front of him and ready. 

Neil wasn’t a virgin by any means, yet his short relationships were absolutely nothing now. No previous partner, hell, not even the unreachable movie stars that he adored could ever come close to you. And he had something clear, it was not the time to shy away. It was his chance with the girl of his dreams and he would make it count.

“Jesus…” He breathed out, index and middle fingers gently parting your folds and delighting in just how wet he found you, his cock already leaking in his boxers.

“All for you…” You purred those familiar words that his speakers had whispered to him many nights before and now felt much sweeter coming straight from your lips. He smiled. All for him…

His hands immediately found his belt and did the magic trick. Belt, pants and boxers all gone in a few moments, his thick, perfectly curved, aching cock bobbing free finally. You bit your lip now, groaning at the sight of him in person, no computer screen.

“Wow…” You whispered, a bead of precum seeping from his tip, your cunt clenching around nothing. Obviously, you weren’t a virgin either, but after doing solo stuff for only fans for so long and not fucking somebody in almost a year, you were just as needy as one.

“Big enough for you?” He smirked a little, his lust filled eyes mirrored by yours. You nodded with a cheeky smile. “Condom?” He asked. “I have one in here in a drawer somewhere…” he rambled, opening a desk drawer midway through and being stopped by your hand.

“I'm on the pill… I wanna feel you… All of you…” Your sensual whisper nearly sent him over the edge, his breath hitching. 

“Fuck..” He whispered to himself, anticipation seeping through. Every inch he got closer to you was an inch that was driving him crazy. When he pulled you to the edge of his desk, his leaking tip nudged your pussy and coaxed a little moan from you. You were ready, so ready. And from the way your hearts were beating, this felt like more than just a hookup. 

A gasp escaped from your lips, his cock parted you and easily slided in from just how wet you were, all the way in until his hips kissed the inside of your thighs so intimately. 

“Oh my god…” He groaned, eyes of blue closing and head of dark brown curls falling back. You were right, big enough for you, stretching you out a bit. “You feel…” He trailed off looking back down to watch himself push deeper. “You feel like heaven…” he almost whimpered. 

You moaned louder and he filled you even fuller, finally hitting the deepest part. Locking both your gazes he laid down on top of you, face to face, squishing your tits against his clothed chest. A hot kiss took care of your sweet lips right before he started to move with an adoring slowness.

Grabbing a handful of his t-shirt, you urged him on, asking your skin to intertwine with his and feeling every bit of him with this slow pace. Neil pulled back from the kiss, lips hovering over yours, hips pistoning a little faster. 

“You feel so fucking good…” He whispered into your lips. “So tight and fucking hot…”

The word “hot” mixed with a loud moan from you, your mouth hung open to catch more of his fiery licks. With the increasing speed, Neil found the right pace. The rightest, most delicious pace that didn’t leave you wishing for more nor hurt you from its urgency. It was just perfect.

“Neil…” You whimpered, a hand tangling in his curls and guiding his head to rest in the crevice of your neck where he planted hot, wet kisses. You arched into him, into his thrusts and addictive touch. Finally knowing what it was like. 

From the crevice to your ear, Neil nibbled, kissed and licked, his warm breath tickled your lobe before whispering softly. 

“You are so perfect… I just wanna make you come…  Make you feel so good…” You moaned in response, all the never-felt-before passion and attention nearly taking the words off you. “I want this pretty pussy to come all over my cock baby…” your wet, fluttering pussy clenched to the beat of those words, luring him and making him groan too.

“I want you to come too…” With your capacity to string a coherent sentence back, you whined. You were begging so softly, squeezing him so needily, taking him to places he only saw in his fantasies, and making him feel so aware of how little he was going to last.

He moved his hips faster, reflecting your own desperation for sweet release. Skin slapped against skin and filled the room with erotic noises you didn’t even fully process from the feeling of everything combined. Neil pulled back, standing to fuck you onto the desk and giving you a good view. Big hands gripped your hips for support and he pounded into you, making the delicious flesh of your tits bounce and the tip of his cock hit the right places.

“Fuck me… You are the sexiest thing I've ever seen...” He groaned out of breath, sweetly worming into your ears and hooking you to his praises forever. That familiar pressure tightened your lower abdomen and made you whimper.Addicted, Neil went back to lay chest to chest with you, not wanting to miss a thing. The tips of your noses gently rubbed together, mingling your breaths, his cock speared you over and over again and as much as it could with the way you had his hips held with your legs. He went deeper, impossibly deeper.

“Oh fuck.. I-I’m not gonna last much longer baby… You feel so fucking good…” His warning whisper kissed you on the lips, the proof manifested in the form of urgent snaps of his hips. 

“I'm-I’m close too, Neil…” You whimpered, eyes half lidded. “Please, come deep…” And those three words were enough to make his mind go blank.

The ultimate fantasy, the dream girl, the actual dream. Begging him, him, to come inside her. Neil never once stood a chance at holding out. Thick digits snaked between you and thumbed your clit in hard, reason-killing circles. So hard, so intense, you nearly confused the light freckles on his face with stars.

“Come for me baby…” he panted softly, begging you. 

Your eyes squeezed shut, the pressure in your depths bubbled over and spilled. Your loud moan reverberated in the small room and enveloped you, the sound waves rippled over the curve of your arching back and traced the shape of your hands clawing at him over his shirt. 

“Holy shit…” He groaned at the feeling of your already tight cunt clenching him even tighter. “Fuck, i’m coming too...” he confessed with a straining voice. His eyes shut tight and his hips slowed to a stop when his aching cock pulsed with need inside you.

His pretty face buried against your neck and left an offering of loving kisses and soft whispered praises as you rode out your orgasms together. 

“Oh my god…  Take it all baby… I think this pussy was made for me…” He whispered, peppering kiss after kiss on your skin and painting your pussy white. Your eager spasms made sure that not a single drop was left without your intoxicating warmth.

When you both finished and his ragged breaths caressed your neck, he remained there, buried deep inside and fully processing it all, rosy lips still kissing you. Once he had recovered enough air, he gazed into your eyes, gave you one last kiss while still connected with you and finally pulled out. 

He was amazed and wide eyed, his hot cum seeping out of your pussy was truly a sight plucked straight from his dreams, and you were well aware.

“How does it look?” You whispered with what little breath you had. Neil took a second to answer, having to blink the hypnosis of your leaking cunt away from his eyes just to be able to find words inside his brain.

“It looks incredible…” With a husky voice and disbelief, he whispered. He had never fucked anyone raw before, much less came inside them… Something inside him had been stirred and changed forever and he didn’t even have all the words he would need to describe it.

You looked him over, he eventually had to stop studying the creampie he had given you just to admire the rest of your beauty sprawled out on his desk just for him. Something upon his face irradiated love and amazement.

There was a random movie t-shirt in his office that he was grateful he had there, he gently used it to clean you up and, unknowingly, confirm once more just how sweet he was. Any other man would have thrown it at you and made you do it yourself. Neil would never. He wiped with so much care until everything between and beneath you was clean and the t-shirt balled up and tossed aside. 

Next, he got dressed, tucking his tired and well spent cock back into his pants, just decent enough to bend down and gather every piece of your clothing strewn all over his office. He handed them to you so kindly, keeping his eyes on you until you were dressed again and he could break the silence. 

“That was…” He started to speak, almost distracted by the way you walked up to him and wrapped your loving arms around his neck.

“Perfect?” You finished his sentence with a smile. He laughed, arms wrapping around your hips.

“I was gonna say a dream come true… but perfect works too…” Neil whispered with his face only inches apart from yours, inciting you into a lovingly intimate butterfly kiss and then a little peck. Pulling back, he tucked a portion of your hair behind your ear and with the same hand cupped your cheek. So delicately. You were precious to him.

“Would you like to come back to my place? Spend the night? I live right down the road… I just want to hold you…  If not i understa-“ he started and you cut him off, sure of your answer this time.

“I'd love to.” You said immediately, enjoying the way his eyes lit up.

No more hiding from your feelings for him. No more pretending you didn’t reciprocate.

“Are you ready to go then?” He asked softly, like the gentleman he was and had always been since day one. Smiling, you took his hand, letting him guide you to the back exit, until you sat on the passenger’s seat of his car. In front of the steering wheel, he took a second to admire you, to, once again, confirm that you were real. Not thinking about it, he leaned over the center console and gave you a soft kiss before he took you to his place.

“Sorry… I just had to…” He said so sweetly you could have melted all over the seats and console. You gave him another little kiss for good measure, and you buckled in, sightseeing the suburbs until a forest green house with the number 621 appeared in the distance.

You couldn’t help but wonder how things would go in there. How would you feel in the morning? How would he feel in the morning? Was the mystery and fantasy over now that he had gotten a taste? Now that it was clear you were into him, was the high of chase over for him? What would happen now that it’s all real life? What's next for you?

Thoughts swirled in your head and before you realized it, he was pulling into his driveway, giving your hand a little squeeze.

“We’re here.” He said, turning to look at you with that perfect bright smile you’ve loved since your first call. “You ready to go inside, beautiful?” 

Pinterest board made by @fuckiingloser

[nxzz-skz]

'guitar' strings attached~

ᯓ★ rockstar!hyunjin x journalist!reader

ᯓ★ warnings: angst, hyunjin is cold at first, kissing, fluff

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

The first time you met Hyunjin, it was overwhelming to say the least. It's not just his striking looks-the sharp jawline, the dark hair loosely coming down to the nape of his neck, or the way he moves and dances with the effortless grace of someone who belongs on a stage. It's his presence, cold and magnetic, like an unreachable star way up above that you can't stop staring at.

You're standing in the backstage dressing room of Stray Kids' sold-out concert in Busan, your laminated pass clutched tightly in clammy hands. The incredible performance still lingers in your veins like adrenaline, the echo of screaming fans and thunderous music reverberating in your chest. When the door opens and the band walks in, your breath catches.

Bangchan is the first to greet you, his energy warm and inviting. "You're the one who wrote that article about our lyrics, right?" he asks, his dimpled smile comforting. "Hyunjin wouldn't shut up about it."

Your gaze instinctively shifts to Hyunjin. He's standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his phone in hand, pretending not to notice you. But when Chan mentions him, his head jerks up, and for a brief moment, your eyes meet. His expression hardens, and he looks away almost immediately.

“I didn’t—” Hyunjin starts, but he stops himself, the tips of his ears faintly pink. “Don’t exaggerate,” he mutters, brushing past Chan and settling into a seat farthest from you.

You try not to take it personally, but the sting of his dismissiveness lingers.

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

Despite Hyunjin’s aloofness, your paths seem destined to cross. The article you wrote has gained you some attention in the music journalism world, and your editor secures you another opportunity: an exclusive interview with the band.

The second meeting is no less nerve-wracking than the first. Hyunjin answers your questions with short, measured words, his tone lacking warmth. But there’s something in his eyes—an intensity that makes you feel like he’s trying to read your mind.

It’s not until later that night, after a press event, that you see a different side of him. You step out onto the hotel balcony for some air, and there he is, sitting cross-legged on the ground with a sketchbook in his lap. The soft glow of city lights bathes his face, making him look almost ethereal.

“I didn’t know you draw,” you say softly, hesitant to intrude.

Hyunjin looks up, startled, but he doesn’t close the sketchbook. “It’s just a hobby,” he says after a pause.

You take a tentative step closer. “Can I see?”

For a moment, you think he’s going to refuse, but then he turns the book toward you. The drawing is breathtaking—a city nightscape, so detailed that it looked exactly like the view ahead of you, with delicate lines that seem to pulse with life.

“It’s… beautiful,” you whisper, genuinely awed.

His lips twitch, almost like he’s fighting a smile, but he quickly looks away. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” you insist, sitting beside him. “Do you use your art for the band’s visuals?”

“Sometimes,” he admits, his voice quieter now. “This might be the cover for our next album. If Chan likes it.”

There’s a vulnerability in his tone that catches you off guard. In this moment, Hyunjin doesn’t feel like the untouchable rockstar the world knows. He feels human—guarded, yes, but achingly human.

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

From that night on, something shifts between you. Hyunjin doesn’t suddenly become warm or openly affectionate, but he starts seeking you out in small, unspoken ways. He offers thoughtful answers during interviews, defends your questions when others brush them aside, and once, when you trip over a cable backstage, he’s the first to catch you.

“Be careful,” he murmurs, his hand lingering on your arm for just a moment too long.

The walls he’s built around himself don’t crumble all at once, but they begin to crack.

One evening, during the band’s tour in Tokyo, the cracks deepen. The group is out for dinner, and everyone’s relaxed, laughing over drinks. Felix, always the playful one, leans over and grins. “Hyunjin, when are you going to stop brooding and just tell her you like her?”

The table falls silent. Your face burns, and you risk a glance at Hyunjin. His expression is unreadable, but his knuckles whiten as he grips his glass.

“I don’t,” he says stiffly, his voice colder than usual. Without another word, he stands and walks out of the restaurant.

You hesitate for only a moment before following him. You find him outside, leaning against the railing of a bridge that overlooks the city.

“Why do you always act like this?” you ask, your voice trembling with frustration.

“Like what?” he snaps, turning to face you.

“Like you hate me,” you say, the words spilling out before you can stop them. “Did I do something wrong?”

His expression falters, and for a moment, he looks lost. “You didn’t do anything,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. “It’s me. I don’t know how to do this—any of this.”

You take a step closer, your heart pounding. “Do what?”

“Let people in,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been hurt before. It’s easier to keep everyone at a distance.”

Your chest tightens at the vulnerability in his words. “Not everyone’s going to hurt you, Hyunjin.”

He looks at you then, really looks at you, and before you can say anything else, he closes the distance between you. His hands cup your face, and his lips crash against yours in a kiss that’s both desperate and tender.

It’s like the world fades away. His mouth moves against yours with a mix of urgency and hesitation, as if he’s afraid you might pull away. But you don’t. You kiss him back, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer until there’s no space left between you.

When you finally break apart, his forehead rests against yours, and he exhales shakily. “I’m scared,” he admits.

“So am I,” you whisper. “But I’m here.”

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

The road ahead isn’t easy. A paparazzi photo of you and Hyunjin together surfaces online, sparking a media frenzy. Fans accuse you of exploiting him, and the backlash threatens both your career and the band’s reputation.

Hyunjin retreats into himself, blaming himself for the chaos. “This is my fault,” he says one night, pacing his hotel room. “I shouldn’t have let this happen.”

“Stop pushing me away,” you plead, your voice breaking. “We can get through this together, but not if you keep shutting me out.”

But he doesn’t listen. The walls go back up, and just like that, he’s gone again.

It isn’t until weeks later, after you uncover the real source of a leaked song draft—a disgruntled former crew member—that Hyunjin comes to his senses. He finds you on the rooftop of the studio, sitting alone under the stars.

“I’m sorry,” he says, sitting beside you. “I should’ve trusted you.”

Your throat tightens, but you manage to say, “Yeah, you should’ve.”

He takes your hand in his, his grip firm yet gentle. “I’m done running. I’m done being afraid. If you’ll still have me, I want to try. For real this time.”

Tears well in your eyes, but you nod, squeezing his hand. “I never stopped wanting you.”

๋࣭⭑────୨ৎ────⭑๋࣭

At the band’s final concert of the tour, Hyunjin surprises everyone by performing Strings Attached. Halfway through, he pulls you onstage, his hand trembling in yours.

“This song is for her,” he says into the microphone, his voice steady despite the roar of the crowd. “For the one who taught me how to feel again.”

Tears stream down your face as he sings, his voice carrying a raw, aching vulnerability that leaves no doubt about his feelings.

When the song ends, he turns to you, his lips brushing against your ear. “I love you,” he whispers, so quietly that only you can hear.

And this time, when you look into his eyes, there’s no trace of the Ice King—only Hyunjin, raw and unguarded, finally letting himself fall.

ᯓ★ reblogs appreciated!

[theformulaimagines]

Look at that woman (breaking my heart) | part nine

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Vettel!Reader

Summary: For one and a half years Lewis and y/n managed to keep their relationship a secret, until it blew up in their faces. Now, they're trying their hardest to pick up the pieces...

Warnings: angst

masterlist

Three weeks later…

This whole situation feels like a bad dream. Like a horrible nightmare. How could they have this sort of slip up? They’ve been so careful this entire time…

She can still remember the look on his face when she left their Airbnb to get into the taxi. The awful presence of their mutual heartbreak was visual in his eyes. A little break, that’s what they decided on. Their managers suggested they should get some space to breathe, some time apart to figure out what to do next. How to move forward.

She also remembers Sebastian‘s silence when she got into his car. He picked her up from the airport, his voice was coated in disappointment and hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”, he had asked her when they parked outside his house. “We didn’t tell anyone.” “I’m not anyone.”

Y/N sighs as she brings the cup of coffee up to her lips. The cold air feels good on her hot skin as she watches the sun rise over the mountains.

“Morning.”

The young woman slightly flinches and when she turns her head she catches a glimpse of a small smile on her brother’s lips:” Sorry.”

Yet she shakes her head:” No, hi. It’s fine. Good morning.” Her hands bring the blanket closer to her chin, while the blonde sits down next to her, positioning his coffee on the table in front of them:” How are you doing today?”

Y/N licks her lips and immediately regrets it:” I think it’s too early to decide on that.” She wants to sound witty, but it just comes out sad. Her eyes fixate on the mountains and a few seconds later she blinks away the tears that are forming. Sebastian notices them out of his peripheral vision and sighs, his hand reaches for hers.

No matter how angry he has been about her keeping her relationship a secret he still loves her. So much. “It’s going to be okay, you know.”, he lets out after a few moments and watches how a weak scoff leaves her. He wonders what she would say if she knew that Lewis has been texting him regularly since they last saw one another.

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f1gossipofficial: Breaking News! Recent information from reliable sources suggests that Y/N Vettel and Lewis Hamilton have not communicated in several weeks, as they are currently taking a break from their relationship.

view all comments…

user 1: NOT A BREAK NOOOO

user 2: i hope everyone who has sent hate their way has a horrible life from today on

user 3: thank you GOD!!!!

user 4: you’re awful

“Is she okay?”

Sebastian turns his head and when he makes eye contact with his wife he takes lets out a shaky breath. “I mean, I always reckoned that something was going on between them… but I wouldn’t know what to do if I was her.”, Hanna whispers and watches Y/N through the closed glass door:” She’s probably dying inside.”

The blonde man tilts his head at her confession:” You knew?” “You didn’t notice the way they looked at one another?”, she asks and turns on the coffee machine:” The giggling and smiling? The way he would always gaze down at her from the podium? He did take more risks whenever she was watching. God, Sebastian.” He lets out a beaten sigh.

“I wish I could do something about this mess.”

“I know you do.”, Hanna says, walking up to him:” I mean, I am glad she’s not using her phone at-.” But she is cut off by the doorbell ringing, making Sebastian roll his eyes:” It’s 8 am on a fucking Sunday, I swear to God.” He lets go of his wife before walking down the hallway. With one swift motion, he opens the door.

His eyes instantly widen at the sight in front of him.

“Hi.”, Lewis says, trying his best to smile at Sebastian but it looks more forced than genuine. “What are you doing here?”

“I have to see Y/N.”

[hcneymooners]

hello, i would really love if you could all read this when you see it.

i haven’t been the best at responding to asks, messages, and comments lately, and i wanted to take a moment to apologize and reassure you: my love and appreciation for you hasn’t changed. not even a little.

so much of this community has been built on the fact that i personally respond to every comment, every submission, every kind word that lands in my inbox. and lately, i’ve been missing things—or missing people—and i don’t want to lose that. one thing i know about myself is that i have a way of making people feel seen and heard, of inviting them in. i think that’s part of what makes the pull of my work stronger. and i want to hold onto that.

when i first began writing—on here, on ao3, on substack—i never expected to amass so many readers. i genuinely didn’t believe my writing would touch anyone, let alone reach a large number of people. it’s been a beautiful surprise, but i won’t lie: it’s impacted me in ways i didn’t anticipate.

as the number of readers grows past the hundreds across my platforms, i’ve started to feel like i’m drowning a bit. not in a dramatic way, but just...slowly. i close myself off—not entirely, but enough to delay responding—and then feel awful about it, because the truth is: i do love you. i do see you. and i am so glad you’re here. it’s just terribly overwhelming sometimes.

i’m so active on my visual diary tumblr because it’s a quiet space for me. like a blank canvas or a silent field. i can withdraw into it. it’s where i breathe.

but please know this: when i say i love you, i mean it. if you’ve sent something in and i haven’t replied, it’s not a rejection of you or your feelings.

sometimes i wait too long trying to be intentional with my responses, and things get lost in the fold. i’m trying to figure out a system—something that works—because so many of you are so incredibly kind to me. i want to carry your words with me, always.

thank you for your patience. thank you for understanding. i hope i haven’t lost you, and if you’ve felt that way, i’m truly so sorry.

all my love. truly, all of it.

allyson. x

[mbta-unofficial]

Gonna actually talk a little bit about the Great Mosque of Djenne, which has one of the coolest folk traditions around it in the world. The building itself is both at least 700 years old and incredibly fragile. It's made of adobe, and requires yearly resurfacing with fresh clay in order to prevent it from cracking structurally. It's incredibly distinct visually because of the planks which are a kind of permanent scaffold allowing access to every part of the structure for the purposes of annual maintenance.

Now, when I say "reject tradition" as practical advice for opposing fascism, I don't literally mean "abandon the centuries old practice of restoring this beloved building to its pristine condition," right? This building is gorgeous and also a house of worship used daily. Well, for one thing, I'm not a Djenne muslim. I've never been to Mali, although I would certainly like to visit. But even if I were, I certainly wouldn't say that we should just let this symbol of my faith and country and nation rot right?

WELL,

no. This is a genuinely beloved act of community and a wonderful tradition and

also less than 120 years old

and what you need to understand is that

FASCISTS LIE ABOUT HISTORY ALL THE FUCKING TIME

Did you catch that? The 700 year old mosque was demolished and reconstructed from scratch in 1906. It spent an unknown amount of time between the mid 1600s when the towers were built and 1800s rotting after it was abandoned.

I love this building. I really do. I don't want to pretend that 120 years is small potatoes either, that is a really long time. And I think it's a beautiful symbol of the way that keeping what we love about the world beautiful and present takes work, and that you have to love something to keep it around and that keeping things around is a form of love. But once you ask "how long have they really been doing things this way?" suddenly the mystique of the 700 year old mosque that has always been preserved starts to crack and become ugly.

In 2006, men inspecting the roof had to flee the city to avoid being lynched after they were accused of vandalizing it. They were literally paid by an international islamic cultural society to do restoration work and had to flee because their actions were misinterpreted as malicious. The story and the mystique of the building and its sacred untouchability (except in the festival where we all touch and fix it) could have killed them.

The point is that buildings change over time. The great Mosque of Djenne was a mosque, then a palace, then a mosque again, then a ruin, then a school, then an empty lot, and then a mosque again. And, arguably, it's still the same building. There has only ever been one Great Mosque of Djenne and it maybe moved around a bit or didn't exist or was some rich guy's house or had another Great Mosque of Djenne next to it but there has still only ever been one Great Mosque of Djenne and every year the whole community comes together to fix it except when they try to lynch the guys trying to fix it and it's beautiful. I mean that. It is beautiful that they have been doing this for as long as they have.

And you have to remember that The Great Mosque of Djenne is a story we are all telling. And, when you tell stories, things like "it was a ruin for almost 200 years" get left out because "every year for at least 700 years people have come together to fix it" is a better story. It makes it seem like the building has only ever been just one thing, immune to history and politics.

That what fascists want. Because they are people. Awful, small minded, incurious people, but people who like you, love stories and wish, desperately, for a world with buildings that don't change for 700 years. Because, if something doesn't change for that long, it must be Worth something, you know, cosmically. Everything is always changing, especially in politics, and in history and it's so fucking scary to just be Alive when everything keeps changing like that.

So it must be that the reason It didn't change is because We didn't change. We didn't let Them change it because They are new and aren't interested in keeping the 700 year old tradition that We all know and care about that makes us Us and them Them. When you lie about history, you don't need to face that We were Them and They changed Us and we were better for it. We don't have to think about the fact that the tradition isn't as old as we say it is.

But also the Great Mosque of Djenne is a rejection of that idea. Because it changes every year. You can't argue that it doesn't. You just have to pick up your bucket and change it into the future you want. Because if you do nothing, it will crack and crumble and fall into rubble in just a few decades. It isn't invulnerable. It's intensely human because it is a real actual literal sandcastle that people have been in the process of building for more than 100 years. The story changes. The building changes. Slowly, imperceptibly, and then suddenly, all at once, and then people act like it never happened. But that's just the story. And if you read the history you can see the truth which is that people are beautiful and creative and also sometimes riot because they think someone is touching their story wrong.

[jihyoruri]

❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ 𓍢 SHAMELESS kazuha nakamura x reader

↳ warnings: idol!au, sserafim!reader, fluff

doing press in another country was different, it was interesting to kazuha on how different the interview will go based on the type of interviewer you have, you have the stush ones that ask the most stuck up questions, you have the thoughtful ones that are genuinely interested in learning more about the group, you have the funny ones that know how to ease the tension and then you have the shameless ones, the type that kazuha is encountering right now.

“sorry, yn you’re making me nervous,” the interviewer said to the girl beside kazuha who laughs, “am I?” yn asks making the interviewer giggle like a school girl while kazuha tried her best not to scrunch up her face.

“yeah, you like eye contact im guessing,” the interviewer says as yn nods her head, yunjin budding in saying that she indeed does like eye contact.

“I do,” yn responds leaning back in her seat causing the interviewer to let out another giggle causing kazuha to mentally roll her eyes, the girl was used to witnessing yn’s affects on people, mostly women so she doesn’t know why this one bothered her the most.

“I guess my research told me the truth, you really are here for the visual service.” kazuha couldn’t help but tilt her head at that but sakura nudged her.

“that’s my job,” yn shrugs nonchalantly, fixing the backwards cap on her head and kazuha feels like she’s gonna scream when she hears that giggle again.

“has anybody told you that you’re nose is perfect,” the interviewer says tucking a strand of hair behind her ear her gaze intensely on yn, causing the other members to give each other small looks, mostly at kazuha.

“not as nicely as you, most of the time they ask where I got my alleged nose job done,” the interviewer lets out a laugh at yn’s response.

“you’re so funny,” the interviewer says before bringing her attention to yunjin proceeding the interview, but not without taking peeks at yn every few seconds or letting out that awful giggle every time yn says something.

kazuha’s energy was obviously off as the interview went on and she knew yn could sense it but she just didn’t know what could be bothering the japanese girl.

yn was oblivious like that.

“okay, before this interview finishes yn, im sorry but you are so fine.” the girl says causing all the girls to laugh in shock except kazuha who just forces a smile.

yn flashes her charming smile to interviewer, “it’s the visual service I guess.” she says quoting the girl as the interviewer lets out another giggle before the cameras stop rolling and kazuha is already walking over to their manager to get a sip of her water.

yn talks with yunjin as they walked over to another one of their managers, yn taking her sunglasses from them and putting it on her face.

“is that even necessary?” yunjin laughs while the younger girl adjusts the expensive sunglasses.

“it completes the outfit, I would’ve worn it in the interview but then I would’ve looked baked.” yn says placing one of her wired headphones in her ear, before looking to the side to see kazuha with her face in her phone, “im gonna go talk to zuha,” yn says pointing at the girl while yunjin nods understandingly.

“watching edits of me again?” kazuha looked up from her phone and is met with her girlfriend with her eyes covered in sunglasses, and she can’t help but laugh in her head at the girl wearing sunglasses inside.

“that was one time,” she rolls her eyes as yn grabs her hands and pulls her up from her seat and takes the girls spot, kazuha’s mouth dropped at the action before yn then pulls her to sit in her lap.

kazuha feels her face heat up as yn places her chin on her shoulder before whispering in her ear, “are gonna tell me?”

“tell you what?” kazuha asks back, she feels shivers go down her spine as yn whispers back, “what’s got you so in your feelings?”

oh.

as much as kazuha loves yn, sometimes she feels like the girl could be a perfect bimbo so attractive but so oblivious and dumb sometimes.

“oh, I don’t know maybe it was the interviewer flirting with you like her life depended on it,” kazuha was used to seeing the flirts with yn but this one was just so shameless, she wasn’t even trying to be subtle at all.

yn opens her mouth but kazuha cuts her off, “and don’t play dumb, she was literally about to jump across the table towards you if she could.”

yn just lets out a laugh and wraps her arms around kazuha’s waist pulling the girl closer, “so you’re jealous?” she teases

“what do you think?” kazuha says embarrassed at yn’s teasing tone, “and take off those stupid sunglasses, we’re inside.”

“okay, first of all rude,” yn pinches kazuha’s side causing the girl to squirm, “it doesn’t matter who flirts with me im still gonna be all yours so you have nothing to worry about, right? im still gonna be your smoking hot girlfriend.”

kazuha rolls her eyes and mumbles out a yeah to the point that it’s inaudible, “I didn’t quite catch that, wanna repeat that for me?” yn whispers in her ear, tickling her side

“I said yeah.” kazuha says loudly flinching at yn’s tickling before turning her head around to face yn, “you said you’re my smoking hot girlfriend does that make me yours?”

“it’s that even a question?” yn responds before a look grows on her face and kazuha immediately knows she’s gonna say something dumb so she grabs the chain on yn’s neck and pulls her towards her lips softly kissing her.

yn smiles into the kiss and brings her hand from kazuha’s waist to the back of the girls neck deepening the kiss.

“the car is here,” yunjin interrupts them with a look of disgust on her face.

kazuha looks down in embarrassment and gets up from yn’s lap, pulling the girl up with her who’s the exact opposite of her with zero traces of embarrassment on her face.

“what didn’t say about kissing in front of me, where is your shame?” yunjin says pointing her finger towards the younger couple.

yn let’s put a deep sigh and puts back in her wired headphones in her ear before wrapping an arm around kazuha’s waist and proceeding to walk towards the exit, “you’re just mad you’re alone.”

“hey!”

[saetoru]

this blog is now archived !! find my MASTERLIST here !!

hi guys, and here’s a long overdue post that i wanted to take the time to make after collecting as many screenshots as i can for a lot of rumors that i think need to be addressed. before i do that, i wanted to apologize to all of my mutuals who ended up wrongfully harassed in their inboxes for simply knowing me—the irony of this issue being about bullying all the while people on this app have been simultaneously being genuinely awful to other writers who have zero involvement has been ridiculous.

i would’ve made this post sooner, but december was very busy—as you all know, i’ve been working with two separate companies for my capstone projects, and i had final presentations with boards to worry about. and then a cruise which was fun, but i was offline. now that i’ve finally had time to enjoy my break and collect my thoughts, i’d like to voice my own side to the discourse i’m sure you’ve all seen posted by @/garoujo, who is now @/gojoath.

first and foremost, i’ve been on tumblr for almost 4 years now, and while i may not have the brightest moments on here (no one will be spot-free in that amount of time), i’d like to think that if i actually went out of my way to vicious or bully people, this would’ve come to people’s attention a lot sooner. i’ve had a relatively large following across all 6 of my blogs in my time here, and while i don’t like to get into the metrics of my blogs, the reason i point this out is because i have willingly started my blog over 6 times. 3 of these were sfw blogs under my nickname tee, another 2 of which were my previous nsfw blogs under a different alias, and saetoru which is the current one, where i finally decided to combine my sfw and nsfw writing into one space. i just wanted to bring that up because i had quite a habit of leaving and restarting blogs before this one, and had i been obsessed with outperforming other writers in terms of follower counts, i would not have left the previous ones as often as i did. 

that being said, i’ll also go through a timeline of events and how they’ve snowballed into an issue that is not as one-sided as most of you might think. i’ve been mutuals with emmie since my first blog, and i’d been mutuals with her through most of her blogs as well. we’ve never really had issues until her last blog @/garoujo, which she’d started after deactivating @/atsymu due to discourse regarding racism accusations. the reason why we had a falling out was because i felt that there were a series of odd coincidences that felt slightly purposeful, but i was still questioning whether or not i was looking too deeply into it to actually point any of it out.

admittedly, when i saw her first set of banners, i felt our layouts were a slight bit similar, but i really didn’t mind too much because i had been planning to change my banners anyway because i was bored of them. so i took that as an opportunity to do so. it just so happened that within a day or two of every time i changed my banners, hers would be changed too—i never said i owned the color gray, and i even fully acknowledge that the last two sets of banners, at first glance, wouldn’t be a red flag. because, like i said, i was more uncomfortable with the pattern of coincidences than the actual layouts. then i switched to my instagram theme, and not long after, i noticed her add instagram story visuals to her navi. again, no one ever said instagram was my original idea, and that no one else could use it, but it was an unsettling feeling having the same moot continuously make changes around the same time as you, and changes that are different enough that you can’t exactly point out an issue, but slightly similar enough that you can’t exactly ignore the slight oddness.

coincidentally, the same day, another blog (who i will not name bc they’re not very active anymore and are also not very relevant to this story) made the same theme as me and i was a bit peeved because this same blog is someone who has copied a few other things from me and a handful of other moots, so i made a subpost on my moots-only personal blog at the time. keep in mind, i made this post fully aware that emmie was on this blog because i didn’t intend for that post to seem like it was about her. but she reached out to me, and i explained to her the situation, and i even provided the relevant screenshots to show my points. i still considered her a decently good friend at the time, and even with the slightly off feelings, i was still adamant about brushing them off and considering them coincidences that perhaps i was being a bit too critical of.

it wasn’t until i woke up a few hours later after changing my theme and going to bed that i noticed she’d then fully switched to the insta theme. again, instagram is an app used by millions and, at one point, was a very popular theme used amongst most people on this app. i’m not entitled enough to believe i was the first person to do it, but like i said. there are just off vibes most of us will not help but feel when a series of coincidences continue to happen back to back to back by the same person.

there were, amongst these things, a number of other small touches that made me feel off. most of them i don’t remember by now or have screenshots of, so i won’t bother to go into all of them, but for reference, one example i’d also like to point out that i’d had the phrase “you’ve reached the hanmas” in my inbox when she was still on @/atsymu, and sometime after, her sfw blog @/loveatsu had the phrase “you’ve reached the miyas.” small things like this are not things i make an issue over and am more than capable of brushing aside, but like i have said and will continue to push firmly is that i felt there were multiple instances of emmie, in particular, making small tweaks to her blog shortly after me that made me feel were not all coincidentally similar. the issue was never themes or thinking i am the first or only person to do something a certain way, the issue has always been me countless times feeling that one particular individual is exhibiting a behavior that is persistent and uncomfortable no matter how minuscule the instances may be. maybe they were really just unfortunate coincidences that happened with poor timing, or maybe they weren’t. but i stand by the fact that anyone in my shoes would be valid to question the timing of each of these events over and over again.

i would also like to bring up kinktober (though this happened a while after the rest of what i will get into) because this was the first public discourse that emmie and i got into due to an anon’s claims of similarities between our posts. i had received an anon who told me “i think someone copied your kinktober masterlist” which i answered to ask if they could let me know who. they had come back to say it was garoujo, and i did not reply to the ask, instead, i made a post to vaguely tell the anon that i appreciate them letting me know, but i will just leave it be and continue on with my kinktober regardless of emmie’s mlist. i do think there were some vague similarities, but honestly not enough to really question it, so i figured a confrontation or issue was not necessary. a while later, several moots had messaged me to let me know they had received anonymous asks saying to “block @/garoujo she copied @/sakusins and she’ll copy you too” (or something along those lines, i don’t remember exactly.) i myself was very confused (and upset) by the situation because i did not, and still would not, want to be publicly name-dropped in other people’s inboxes over issues that do not involve them. unfortunately, it led to some not-very-kind asks to both of us, and while i am sorry she had to deal with that, it is not an apology from a sense of culpability. that situation was, and still is, entirely out of my control. i would not have seen the masterlist unless the anon had mentioned it, and i did not take part in having people send asks about her to other writers. especially not in a manner that was pretty much social suicide for me as well. 

(this is a poorly made collage i know lol but i hit the picture limit bear with me here.)

i would also like to point out that i am not the only individual who has had issues with emmie and feels she had copied them. although i cannot disclose urls (they have been blocked out for privacy reasons) here are a few conversations i have had with my own mutuals, and i would wager there are more people whom i haven’t talked to who also feel this way. they might be small enough instances that sparking issues over them was not worth it to all of these people, therefore she has never heard from people herself about this issue, but the point does still stand that this claim about emmie is not one i alone make, and is one that i have heard countless times before. her never being approached by these individuals for the sake of peace doesn’t erase that they have been, and are, upset by these events, and it’s a habit that she seems to continually partake in. i would also like to link this post where she has been called out by another writer while she was still atsymu, which was posted while we were still friends. i’ve actually had a discussion with emmie about that post, and at the time, i had quickly skimmed the post and felt it was perhaps a reach, but after my own experiences, i went back to reread the post and considered perhaps there was validity to it, and that this might not be a one time occurrence. plagiarism in manners such as this will always have conflicting opinions, and it is hard to sometimes tell if something is a coincidence, a popular and overused idea, or something that has actually been copied. my point is that a number of people have all felt that perhaps there is a good chance this was not an accident, and please consider that so many instances of people feeling this way might suggest that there is a certain degree of validity to the claim.

at the beginning of all of this, when the masterlist banners had first started bothering me, i was upset, and i chose to vent to an ex-moot of mine who most of you would recognize as munsonsins. abby has deactivated a long while ago, but she’s relevant to this because i had chosen to vent to her at the time, and this is more or less what later caused this situation to escalate. at the time of venting to her, i knew she wasn’t mutuals with emmie because, as you can see, she’d told me as such. 

one thing i would like to point out is that there were a handful of people i had vented to about my frustrations with emmie, but one thing i had always been mindful of was ensuring these were a) individuals who i considered close friends and not just random individuals, and b) were not friends or moots with emmie in the event that i accidentally made people who she cared about think lesser of her. had abby been mutuals with emmie, i would not have shared my feelings, and once again, i was not loose-lipped enough to just tell anyone because they’d listen. i told abby in particular because i had felt we were sufficiently close individuals who talked one-on-one and were able to vent to each other. a bit after i vented to her, though, she befriended emmie, which i had no such issues with because abby was/is her own person and is an adult who can interact freely and befriend whoever she wanted/wants to. 

not long after that, on the night before eid (this detail is relevant in the future) an ex moot of mine @/kazuwhora reached out to me. if you guys remember, there was a discourse last year that was all over dash about how writers on this app should be open to criticism. a lot of people (including me and kc) were upset by that sentiment—which is still valid. please don’t give constructive criticism to writers without their explicit permission !! but regardless, kc sent me a screenshot of a mutual of mine who had posted their opinion on this discourse, and their point was clearly that while constructive criticism is important in some aspects, writers do not have to be subject to receiving it should they not want to. unfortunately, i felt as if kc misunderstood what this individual was trying to say, and i was trying to explain it to her, but we got into a small argument over how we interpreted the post. i felt some of the things she was saying about this individual were inappropriate, and i had made it clear that i was very fond of this person, and it made me uncomfortable to be having this discussion. regardless of whether she saw my interpretation of the post or not, i wanted to drop the discussion, especially because it was the night before eid. eid is the one holiday i celebrate, and there are traditions i quite enjoy the night before, and i didn’t want them to be spoiled with a poor mood over a silly argument. unfortunately, she wasn’t very willing to drop the topic, and it ended up making me upset. so i posted this screenshot to my moots only personal from the conversation that consisted of my messages only and said, “tonight i had to explain what a debate is.” it was petty, perhaps, but very harmless, seeing as there was no context given and no names/pfps to indicate who the person was.

truthfully, i had vented separately to cat, eris, and abby about this argument because i was friends with the three of them at the time, but needless to say, venting to your friends about arguments is a universal action, and i believe it is something all of us have partaken in. 

eventually, i decided to softblock emmie because i felt it would be more comfortable for me on my blog to do so. after a bit, i was informed of a subpost that seemed like it couldn’t be about anyone other than me—to make things clear, emmie subposting me was not my concern. i did not hold it against her because she is more than entitled to have her own feelings and vents on her own blog, but the thing that did concern me was that it seemed slightly evident that she was aware of my feelings when i had never explicitly had a conversation with her. it made me question who would tell her, and as you may have guessed, the only person with whom i had shared my concerns who could also be in contact with emmie was abby. 

at the time, eris had also voiced concerns that they had trusted abby with the ending of the plot for the diluc series they were planning, and coincidentally, one of abby’s friends had posted a fic idea eerily similar to their concept, to which abby had been commenting and reblogging more brainstormed ideas under. all of these ideas were very close to the plans eris had for their series plot, and understandably, they felt that it was not a mere coincidence that their entire plot was being brainstormed on dash by a person who was fully aware of their outline. i’d voiced my concerns with believing that abby may have also been sharing things i trusted her with, and as a result we both had made a few vague subposts that we liked from each other—a petty behavior, i will admit, but not something that i think is very out of the norm for a lot of people on this app. sometimes, we all just want to vent out our frustrations, and because we all more or less use tumblr as an outlet, these can sometimes be vaguely taken to dash. it’s not something that is ideally recommended (i’ve learned the hard way) but it’s also ?? not exactly something that only i’m guilty of, or is even a rare behavior. i think to shoot down one person for this behavior is quite frankly hypocritical. again, subposting isn’t a habit i would like to push as mature but it’s something i’d like to point out is very normal in this community, and is not something only i take part in. beyond that, i take to ensuring that whenever i do, i’m not explicitly exposing who i’m talking about in order to keep them out of unnecessary issues. 

after this conversation with eris, it kind of solidified in my mind that i did not want to trust abby with any more personal vents, or information, and i had ultimately decided to soft block her too. i had also decided to take the opportunity to softblock kc as well because i figured i might as well just remove individuals who i felt made me uncomfortable. this is, again, my right to do so to curate my own space. not long after, cat, eris, and i had been softblocked/hardblocked by a number of moots, and we were a bit confused, until cat ended up having a conversation with kc. many accusations were made about all three of us, more specifically, about me to kc by abby because the two of them had been discussing that they’d both been softblocked by me recently.

the list of accusations we were told of is as follows:

me, cat, and eris have a “burn book�� where we “blacklist people.” it’s important to note that every time this discourse resurfaces (this is now the fourth time), the “burn book” has fundamentally changed in its composition—it has changed from a discord server “burn book”, to a google doc “burn book”, to the current rumor that it was an entire blog that was used as a “burn book.” it is consistently changed to fit whatever narrative is trying to be pushed, and regardless, the rumor itself is entirely untrue and has been addressed multiple times. cat has had a tumblr theme, a collab theme, and a server theme all dedicated to the film mean girls. she simply had a channel that was to share the urls of minors to block for interacting with nsfw works, or people who were anti-dark content—this is something that i have seen in all servers i’ve been in during my time on tumblr, and is not a new concept for many of you either. it’s simply a precaution a lot of servers take to warn writers about potential minors to block, and potential anti-dark content harassers. the name of this channel happened to be “the burn book” because it was a mean girls themed server, so the name just fit. nowhere in this channel were other writers in the community “blacklisted” or spoken negatively of, and here are the screenshots of the channel. this was simply something abby had twisted in order to paint us negatively. here is the link to cat’s post addressing it for proof and explanation (i run out of pictures or i would include them myself.)

abby also claimed that i was using this channel to talk poorly about kc and a handful of other moots. this is also false bc this server had several strangers (as it was cat’s server and i didn’t know all her moots), but it also had several of kc’s mutuals/friends in this server as well. i’m not so dense as to talk poorly about other writers publicly in a server, let alone a server i know has people who are friends with kc

now, this next part, emmie has conveniently painted out to be about me, as i apparently harassed and blacklisted people for liking itto from genshin impact, but i have been playing genshin for over a year on this app, and quite a large number of you are my own followers who see my rambles and my writing and i don’t have to explain that i have never written for itto, nor explicitly expressed an interest in him apart from perhaps one or two posts from back when i did his story quest. i never had, and still to this day, have no interest in the character itto. i’ve skipped his banner, i plan to skip his upcoming banners should they come, and i have never written for him, nor do i plan to write for him. this issue with itto is between eris and another individual, and i do not have the details to this, as i was new friends with eris at the time, and i’m no longer friends with eris as of current time. quite frankly, even if i knew the details, i wouldn’t go out of my way to share them because it has nothing to do with me. plain and simple.

as you can see, there were a number of rumors spread here to kc by abby, and as you can see, all of which led me to seem quite vicious in character. i’ve provided, to the best of my ability, screenshots and receipts of why each of these is quite drastically out of context and far from true to what abby has claimed. 

i did in fact, after these events confront abby because i was genuinely appalled by the way she knowingly and purposely twisted things conveniently to villainize me. she expressed that she was upset and paranoid by the subposts that she figured were about her once i’d soft blocked her, so i apologized for the posts. she had conversations with both me and cat about the rumors she’d started, and she also apologized for them to both me and cat.

the rumors that emmie has claimed about me in her post, which she conveniently provided no evidence of, are all rumors that are more or less a result of my differences with abby and kc. unfortunately, despite cat trying her best to explain to kc the falseness of most of these rumors, she didn’t really believe them—which is her business. to each their own. i’m sure if i had been in kc’s shoes and in one night, someone i had considered a friend had been painted to do a series of nasty things behind my back, i also would not know what’s true and untrue, and she is entitled to piecing together what she believes is her truth. what’s not fair, however, is for emmie to have no involvement/understanding of these events apart from a twisted narrative she heard from one person and dog pile them into her claims of my behavior to further paint me as a villain. emmie is more than entitled to have her beliefs on my character based on her own experiences, which she has provided her own evidence of, but simply slapping an “and i heard she also….” does not necessarily make claims true, and is very manipulatively thrown into the post to add a list of things that make my character questionable to further validate her point. 

not only this, but she has made a point to openly admit that she and her friends have collectively mocked me for my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, who they have apparently labeled as my “fake” boyfriend that i used to get attention on this app. quite plainly, i get enough attention on my blog that i don’t need a fake boyfriend to amp that up. but furthermore, i am a south asian, muslim individual. my parents are immigrants with very strict religious and cultural beliefs that i feel are very restricting at times, and though i love my family, i struggle with my identity quite a bit as i live in a very western culture that clashes quite a bit with my cultural norms. i do not get to freely explore my sexuality or even romantic life in general, unlike some of you. my parents have been kept in the dark about my relationship because them knowing about it is something that could quite literally create a rift between us, and i find it very insulting and almost suspicious that a white girl is making a mockery of my cultural struggles and my personal life. many of you are either desi or muslim or simply children of strict immigrant parents with quite stubborn traditional views. i’m sure plenty of you understand where i’m coming from when i say that i have to keep my relationship hidden from the majority of the people around me. tumblr is the one place i can anonymously share bits and pieces of my life without worrying about if it will literally cost me my relationship with my parents, so sometimes i may have overshared silly or pointless things, but that is because it’s my own way of being able to express myself and my relationship the way i have always wanted to. apart from that, dragging and making a joke out of someone’s personal life is quite unnecessary in this case. the issue is about tumblr discourse, and i find it very hypocritical that i am being labeled a bully when people, more specifically a white and privileged individual, is plain and simple mocking and poking fun at my personal life and situation that i have no control of. that is my piece on that. whether some of you believe i had a partner or not is not my business, nor do i have to go out of my way to show you evidence of my personal life. what i will say, however, is that there are a handful of close friends i have on this app who are involved in my personal life and have seen evidence of my love life through pictures and private stories on social media. quite frankly, these are the only individuals who i have to justify the validity of my personal life to, and it’s honestly quite violating for someone to stoop to dragging someone’s outside life into issues about tumblr. i extend a very genuine fuck you to every single one of you that have ridiculed my personal relationship and just know that you are extremely bold to consider yourselves above bullying when this is the type of behavior you admit to engaging in. individuals with complex familial relationships, and identity struggles between cultural norms, their ethnicities, and the western world are not your playground to make a joke out of. some of us have very real struggles, such as not being able to pursue careers in favor of arranged marriages, not being able to pursue actual relationships that mean something to us due to a lack of familial approval, being forced to bear children at young ages due to familial pressure, and so on. they are not laughing matters, and are a part of my reality. and before some of you get started—yes, it really is that serious. i have struggled my entire life with having white girls poke fun and tease at my cultural norms, and i refuse to allow another white and privileged individual who already has a record of racially related discourse walk away with once more poking fun at my personal struggles and not be called out for it. i hope you had a good, long, satisfying laugh emmie.

onto my next points based on claims @/anantaru has made about me. the main thing i’d like to really point out here is that anantaru and i have never, not even once, interacted to the extent of my knowledge. they claim that cat and i cannot stand it when people cross us in numbers and that we go through people’s likes in order to find minors and blank blogs to explain all the notes. a) i am very bad at checking for minors and blanks in my own notes, so this is not even a logical approach on my end, but b) this claim is made because cat made this post under the tags of a post going around last year that asked to hear unpopular ficblr opinions.

what cat means to articulate here is that sometimes, when she is scrolling on dash and interacting with moots and their shit/talk-posts, she peeks at profiles she sees in the notes and has happened to catch minors lurking. cat, firstly, has never followed anantaru, so they are not a “victim” to cat glancing at their likes, but secondly, this is not nearly as psychotic as it’s painted out to be. cat is not, and was not, jealous of other blog's notes. quite plainly, she’s not exactly a tiny blog either, and she’s only stumbled upon minors in the talks-posts of moots, including me. shit-posts/talks-posts are easy to notice minors lurking on, and while most people recognize that it’s quite impossible to catch every minor and ageless blog in writing posts with numerous notes, a simple shit-post on dash is more simple, and her unpopular opinion was simply that blogs that grow rapidly need to be better about catching those minors because they are susceptible to having more of them lurking. it’s a really harmless sentiment, and she’s gently reminded me as well on more than one occasion to be more responsible about my habit of being lazy when scouting for minors in my interactions. 

this is not out of jealousy, nor is it some sick and twisted habit she has to “explain” why people get more notes than she might get. it’s also out of a place of concern for her own content ?? i myself and plenty of other large blogs reblog from mutuals, and they are well within their right to be concerned that perhaps minors are lurking on our pages and interacting with works we reblog from our mutuals. cat has voiced this concern to me before, also out of goodwill and simple concern for my content, her content, and minors in general. there is simply no need to twist it into her viciously looking down upon large blogs and their notes counts and claiming they’re “only because they don’t block minors.” admittedly, though, i do need to be better about catching minors, and i have always appreciated her trying to keep me in the habit of being responsible about it. more importantly, it was a small passing comment under a post of unpopular opinions, a lot of them were hot takes, and this is hardly a serious one to get so heated over. 

i’d also like to point out that anantaru has claimed we blocked them for being a gatekeeper and because we’re jealous of their notes. 💀. a) i am very grateful and very happy with the level of interaction i get on my writing, as more people than i imagine leave me countless comments and reblogs. i have never had an issue with comparing my interaction with that of other writers because i have always been abundantly content with the interaction i get. i have no other comment on this other than cat and i blocked anantaru at the same time because we happened to see a post of theirs reblogged onto our dash that made a joke that we felt was a bit insensitive to/alluded to SA—i’m sure it wasn’t meant to be taken that way, but it made us uncomfortable regardless. while we are both dark content supporters, and i myself have read more than one fic that includes noncon in particular, it doesn’t mean we have to like/enjoy everything related to it and we simply decided to block them. i’m not going to bring this post up bc it’s simply not important. they are an adult who is more than entitled to make jokes on their blog and cat and i do not have to like them !! we simply did what we were well within our rights to do, and that’s blocking them.

there’s more they go on to say about receiving hate asks and that apparently it’s because of our “group of friends.” cat and i don’t have a group of friends. i don’t have any group chats with her besides the one with her boyfriend because i get along with him sometimes as well, and we used to play genshin together a lot when i was in low ar. not that i have to explain my friendships here, but i quite literally do not have a group of people to “send after” anantaru because people are well aware of my close friends, who i text with my personal phone number. i’ve posted silly screenshots of convos on my blog multiple times, and none of these friends overlap because i do not have a “group” of friends, just individual friends who i talk to one on one. cat is not friends with my other friends, and my other friends are not friends with her. there are no inner circles that conspire together to send anyone hate because i “tell them to.” and if there are screenshots of me explicitly encouraging someone to send hate on anon, i would love to see it. if i had sent my anons after anantaru, it would have to be a public post, and i’m sure if there were a post of such nature, it would have been brought to light by now. they have also claimed they were given multiple urls of mine to block. i only have ONE writing blog, @/saetoru, and the only other two that are still up are archived blogs @/hanmine and @/katsuphilia, which are side blogs attached to saetoru and have been inactive for several months. there are however, multiple individuals on this app who also go by the name “tee,” and perhaps we have unfortunately been mixed up as the same person, but the only blog i have is saetoru, so there is no other active blog they have blocked me from that belonged to me and was able to harass them.

not only that, but anantaru has claimed that one person off anon sent them hate with a kaeya url which they insinuate to be me. once again, you are all more than aware of my history of urls, and many of you have all been here to see them. i’ve never once had a kaeya url, nor have i ever been particularly interested in kaeya outside of a small number of posts on a rare occasion. my genshin favorites have always been characters from sumeru and, at one point diluc, and once again i don’t have to ?? explain my selfships to you all ?? but literally, i have nothing to do with a kaeya blog or kaeya account, and im unsure why it’s being thrown into my name. quite frankly, i’m not sure  what their moot has told them we have said about them, but the only conversations cat and i have ever had about anantaru was that one about the noncon joke, and that’s it. outside of that, there is literally no evidence of us speaking about this person because it simply doesn’t exist. 

i implore you all to, instead of starting public discourse over things you hear, confirm them first. had anantaru reached out to me or cat and expressed that they are upset that we are supposedly spreading false rumors about them gatekeeping, then whatever misunderstanding it might have been could have been cleared. i would like to also point out that it is not above bullying when you simply dump numerous accusations that you have heard through half whispers from moots and provide 0 evidence for them. i am perfectly aware of why emmie may consider herself to have issues with me, but i have never had an encounter with anantaru, and truthfully, i’ve never actually even read their writing before. my main (and pretty much only) experience with them is seeing the joke i saw reblogged onto my dash, and as i stated earlier, the only thing i did for that was block and move one.

and lastly, the other point i’d like to make is that numerous blogs who i have been objectively very kind to have come out to take the opportunity to stomp on my character and reputation. for example, tumblr user @/osaemu, who used to follow me and interact with me quite often. i have always been excited to interact with her because she was really supportive of my gojo writing, and at one point, i had a small area of concern with her using the same exact title as me for a gojo fic. below are screenshots of our conversation regarding the titles.

i am quite confident that this is a very polite interaction, and i was very clear that i didn’t think that her writing elements, including gojo’s parent dynamics and his dynamics with the reader, were copied or even something that i felt she needed to change. i pointed them out as a way of indicating that between these parallels and between the fact that i know she reads my rb! gojo series, i find it difficult to believe that our fic titles being exactly the same is a coincidence, and it made me uncomfortable—my concern was not how she wrote gojo’s parents or his dynamic with reader. i never accused her of stealing ideas that were mine alone to use, all i simply wanted to do was shed light on the fact that based on these parallels, i figured the names being the same was a touch difficult for me to brush aside as a chance similarity. i was very clear to outline that i know these dynamics and themes in writing are generic, and that people can pull inspo from them because i have done the same thing. my only concern was the title, which i politely asked her to change, and she agreed. case closed. i have been, again objectively, quite kind to osaemu, and i had no intentions of blocking her like a moot had suggested because i felt it was a very silly issue to block over since she was very lovely to me. 

i did, however, block her because she posted one-paragraph posts with multiple characters tagged. that’s not a crime on her end, and i’m certainly not here to police her posts in the tags, but as me and plenty of other people on this app have voiced multiple times, it is a bit irritating and feels like spam to see posts of these kinds in the tags so i blocked her. this is a very popular opinion and i refuse to be considered problematic for it. i am not here to police what constitutes an appropriate post to tag x reader tags on, and while i have made posts simply sharing my opinion on what i feel should and should not be tagged, osaemu is more than welcome to post whatever she feels she would like to into the tags. i do, however, block anyone who i come across who makes those kinds of posts because i simply don’t like them, and i don’t like seeing them. i don’t owe an explanation for why i block anyone, but seeing as i have been painted as some bitch for doing so, here is my reasoning. quite a lot of people agree on this sentiment, and to each their own, but i don’t enjoy seeing those posts. i did also unblock her at one point, as she mentioned. this is simply because a mutual of mine had voiced that they felt someone had copied the concept of their drabble, and i was helping them word a message to send, so i went back to this exact conversation to look back on what i said because it was a similar situation. as you know, blocking someone hides their dms from your dm list, so i had intended to temporarily unblock her just to see how i worded my message to help formulate a message for a mutual. there were no screenshots sent, i simply wanted to jog my memory of my points, that’s all. i did forget to block her again for a bit but eventually did, and that’s the extent of our interactions. i don’t recall posts telling people that i condone sending anons with death threats like she has claimed, and if she could point out the particular posts i have made where i encourage people to send anon death threats on my behalf, i would be more than happy to clear them up, or address them. 

i have admittedly, on a few occasions said in my responses to anon hate itself, the phrase “kys” out of frustration, and there are i’m sure conflicting opinions on that, but i do not regularly use this phrase in my vocabulary. i have been on the receiving end of graphic sexual and violent asks in my inbox regarding me, my teenage sister, and my mother, during my time on here, and sometimes out of frustration i have said less than dignified things, but this is not a constant behavior, and frankly, i think once people make graphic, violent, and inappropriate comments about my 16 year old sister, saying “kys” in response is not the greater of the two evils. it is a tad bit hypocritical to expect benevolence from me to an anonymous hate ask just because there is “another person” at the end of the screen when they have not extended the same sentiment to me.  

all of that being said, jumping on the trend to trample on someone while you have the opportunity to because you’re bitter they blocked you is also no better than bullying. apart from blocking osaemu, I have taken careful steps to always be respectful to her due to the very kind comments she’s left on my writing. leaving nice comments on my writing is deeply appreciated and welcome, but that doesn’t mean i have to subject myself to seeing posts i do not want to see on my dash on my phone. i pay for the phone bill, so i will cater my phone to show me what i want to see, and if that includes blocking a few people, i am allowed to do that !! i should not have to apologize for or be crucified for blocking someone and their feelings being hurt over it. 

not only this, but several of you have somehow started a rumor that i am 26 or even pushing 30. that’s nowhere close to the truth. i’m 21, soon to be 22, and i have stated multiple times i am an undergraduate college student. of course, there is no timeline to college, and people of all ages complete their undergrad degrees, but i have made it a point to vent about my concerns numerous times that i am very stressed about taking extra classes every semester to compensate for changing my major late because i want to graduate on time. my graduation year is 2024 (as would make sense seeing as i will be 22 years old), and if you don’t believe me, i have celebrated my bday on april 12th of every year this blog has been active. you’re more than welcome to check my archive to see if that’s true, and for further reference, here is a picture i have sent to mods of servers i am in to be accepted. (note that my url used to be hanmas before saetoru.)

although there is no shame in being 26 or pushing 30, the reason why i wanted to address this is that i wanted to point out that yet another rumor has been fiercely pushed on my name and has been believed to be the truth. no one has to walk away from reading this post assuming that i’m a saint and i have never done anything wrong or that i have been faultless in differences i’ve had with other people. but a lot, if not all, of these claims are exaggerated with 0 evidence, and people have just run with claiming them as true. i physically cannot deny a large majority of these rumors with evidence or screenshots because half of them are made by people i have never interacted with or talked to, and i cannot produce evidence for interactions that never happened. i have seen blank, burner blogs post stories of their experiences with me, one in particular that claims i dm’d them to tell them their hanma fic was breathtaking before i harassed them about their theme, boyfriend, and parents. a) i do not dm anyone to compliment their fics because i am simply too shy to do that. i would have only reblogged the fic with comments if i enjoyed it. b) again, there is no evidence on their part, and i cannot dispel this story with evidence of my own because evidence of conversations that never took place does not exist. and c) i would like to think i do not come across as dense enough to attack someone in their dm’s viciously about their boyfriend and parents openly with my account, where they could easily spread the proof around if it had actually happened. i am not responsible for people’s internet literacy, and if people believe every story that is shared with not even a small piece of proof that it took place, i cannot do anything besides simply urge you all to formulate your opinions based on what you see, not based on what you hear. 

i would also like to end things off with an apology to all of you—mainly because there was no reason for so many of you to be dragged into something that did not involve you and also because there are very disturbing and important issues going on right now in real-time in the world that are affecting a lot of people. i never want to be involved in something that takes attention off of important discussions such as genocide, and while many of you like to claim i am deflecting, i think it is quite telling that some people have posted nothing about something this important but have made multiple posts regarding discourse. i did not feel it was appropriate at that time to focus on discourse, and i still do not think so, but i wanted to leave off with my own statement.

i would also like to apologize if i have ever come across as unkind during an experience with me; it is never my intention to be that way purposely. i have a habit of being petty sometimes and can be a bit short-tempered, and it’s something i work on. with as large of a following as i have, sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all than say it—however vaguely it might be. i hope some of you who also have larger followings keep that in mind so that you can avoid discourse erupting into something grand scale. please vent to people you trust and be wary of having a habit to subpost. but mainly, please remember that people trusting you with their feelings and troubles is not something you should take pride in spreading. there is nothing to be proud of about sharing people's private socials, urls, and conversations. while i am not always able to keep my temper under wraps, and while i have had my fair share of petty moments, i, to the best of my ability, have always made sure that i don’t come across as intentionally cruel or mean, nor have i purposely broken someone’s trust. sometimes i have retaliated back a bit fiercely, but i stand by the fact that i never purposely chased or drove anyone off, mocked or belittled them, or sent people over to dislike/hate them. i have at times vented to those who i believe are people i can trust, sure—but this is something we as people are all guilty of. there’s no way any of us can hold one person more accountable than others for partaking in closeted conversations that are never meant to get back to people and hurt them. 

i genuinely loved, and still love, writing very much, and i have always appreciated every ask, every reblog, and every comment. writing is a hobby i am greatly passionate about, and it’s always a hobby i was very excited to share with people on here because i don’t get to share it with people irl. i don’t willingly tell people irl that i enjoy making elaborate plots about anime characters, and i have always been very excited to share that hobby with you all, whether you are a reader or writer. i’ve read fanfiction for a very long time before i ever decided to try my hand at writing it, and i would never want to knock other people down simply because they “surpassed” me. i enjoy finding writers to read from, especially those who write better than me, because they are where i draw the most inspiration and motivation from. the moots i look up to most are moots who are in my opinion, far stronger writers than me, and moots who i always firmly believe deserve much more reach than i do on their stories because they’re far more fleshed out and in-depth than anything i can produce. and i am proud of them !! and even those of you who feel you are stuck not getting as much reach as you would hope, i am proud also of all of you for picking up a google doc or pen and writing and trying, whether you choose to share it or not. i will always strongly encourage you all to try your hand at writing if you have ever considered it because i have genuinely built such a better sense of self-esteem when being able to incorporate pieces of myself in my stories and express parts of who i am—i think some of you might really enjoy the catharsis that writing brings, and if you ever debate on trying it out, please do !! you might become really passionate about it. 

anyway, this post is abysmally long. none of it is to clear my name in hopes that i will be “un-canceled” (LOL) because i have decided saetoru is long overdue to be put to rest. i hope you can all, at the very least, allow other writers some peace and stop harassing them in their inboxes for knowing me (because that is also bullying and very ironic of you), and i hope you all got some sort of understanding of where i am coming from. if you think poorly of me, that’s okay. i have an opinion of myself, and the close people who surround me, that i am confident in, and while i may not have always handled things in the brightest of manners, i am well aware of what my intentions have always been. 

i’m deeply grateful to all 41k of you, and thank you for reading my works and allowing me to write for you !! thank you for all the very, very kind asks that i never got a chance to fully answer each one of, and thank you especially for all the supportive comments and love on the writing i’ve posted. they might be silly fics you read once and moved on from, but they’re all pieces of me, my life, and things that are important to me, and as cringe and cheesy as it sounds, it means quite literally everything to me when people read them and take away something from them. 

also, as a parting gift, i will be posting the nerd gojo, ex-convict geto, and a marriage rb! gojo fic to my ao3 (also saetoru) for those of you who have been patiently awaiting those wips to enjoy. please (a little more patiently) keep your eyes peeled for those <3 i will no longer be posting or active on saetoru, and in the event that i keep writing, it will be posted on my ao3, so you all will know where to find me !!

so for the last time, i love you my little runts !! wishing you all the best, and goodbye to my lil saetoru bestees. 

mwah !!

— tee <3

ps. i also have turned off reblogs for this post and limited replies to people i follow only. a lot of you will jump to say that it’s simply because i am “hiding,” but it is solely because i have said my piece and i intend to move on. thank you and have a lovely day shawtee ✌🏽

[ctrlchar]

Jake Webber NSFW alphabet

a/n: for the oral section i wrote about him making you watch a movie while he eats you out and I love that concept sm i can’t and also there is a Johnnie alphabet coming soon as well🙏

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

absolutely loves aftercare,he always asks you if you need anything and if you do he’ll do it in a instant. he also gets you one of his oversized shirts and some of his boxers to change into so you can be comfortable

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

on himself it’s his waist,he loves his tattoos that lead down to his crotch and that’s really it tbh,he just thinks he has a nice waist

on you it is 1000% your tits,he talks about tits in literally every video. he doesn’t care what they look like as long as he can squeeze them and leave kisses on them during sex

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

if your back is to him he likes to cum on your back or inside of you,he lives for watching his cum drip out of you just for him to finger it back into you

if you’re facing him then it doesn’t matter too much although he does like to cum on your tits but he’s not too specific on it

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

seeing his hands around you will literally make him cum on the spot,he just loves how possessive it is to physically hold onto you with his hands both in a sexual and non sexual manor

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s a very experienced guy,this means that he can tell what you do and don’t like very easily

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

he absolutely loves when you ride him,however he doesn’t like reverse cowgirl at all because obviously he can’t see your tits

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

100% he’s a very silly person and I think that carries over into the bedroom as well like I think this man might even go out of his way to make a joke during sex rather then just joking about something awkward happening

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I don’t think he really does anything to it honestly,maybe whenever he dates you he trims it up a little but he genuinely could not care less and the same goes for you he doesn’t care if you have hair or don’t

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Intimacy is not his strong suit,yes he can be intimate and yes he will be intimate it’s just not something he’s amazing at

however he will make sure you know that he wants you and not your body,this meaning he’ll probably tell you how much he loves you and how good you treat him while he’s inside you

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

I don’t think he jerks of regularly only whenever he’s doing something and you’re not there or you are there but you’re busy and he doesn’t wanna seem like a dick by making you stop what your doing just so you can have sex

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

overstimulation-he absolutely loves to see you begging for him to let up his assault on your clit

his fingers prodded your tight hole for now 15 minutes,you had came what you think was 10 minutes ago but you weren’t sure and didn’t care for that matter as Jake continued to push his fingers in and out of you at a rapid pace. your hands reaching up for his hands in attempt to slow him down which he does for a moment “aw my pretty girl. you don’t really want me to stop hm?” he asks knowing the answer already since the two of you have had this discussion before

daycraphillia- seeing you cry might be his biggest turn on during sex. just watching you come undone because of his cock boosts his ego through the roof. especially when you’re in doggy style and he’s practically fucking your tears into the pillow below you

photos- he would love to take photos during sex if you let him. but not just photos of you,he feels as if he’s taking photos of you there should also be photos of himself. so usually he’ll take photos of you giving him head or even just his hard cock cumming on you. his favorite photos have to be when he’s fucking you from behind and your ass is right against his cock

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

he really likes doing it in his car. like man will never turn you down if you ask him to lay back his seat and fuck you in his car

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

seeing you in JUST his shirt no shorts underwear absolutely nothing other then his shirt

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

nothing too extreme that would ever hurt you,his exception when it comes to impact play is choking and that’s about it.

he also doesn’t like the idea of sharing you,he doesn’t get jealous easily but the thought of someone seeing you do vulnerable is a huge turn off

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

he gets super whiney and needy whenever you give him head. like bucking his hips down your throat needy

“f-fuck!” he moans arching his back against the wall. his hand now tightly gripping your hair as he tried to gain his composure and not start completely fucking your face. he starts to buck his hips up more and more subconsciously the closer he gets apologizing with each thrust “baby i’m sorry” “shit i can’t” “feels t-too good” he’d say bucking his hips into your mouth before eventually cumming down your throat

on the other hand he will give you head no matter what you’re doing. his favorite time to give you head is whenever you’re watching a movie with him and his head moves from resting on your chest from going to your clothed clit making you watch the movie as he eats you out

he also wraps his arms around your thighs when he goes down on you to make sure you’re as close to him as possible

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

I think he keeps a moderate pace but if you ask for him to go faster or slower he will. I feel like he thrusts rlly hard too if that makes sense

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

he likes them a little less then proper sex. only because there’s not much variety in quickies,like you have to work with what you have but during regular sex it’s up to you rather then your surroundings

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

this kinda goes back to N, the biggest risk he’ll take with you is having semi public sex but that’s it

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

he can last pretty long honestly maybe like 4-5 rounds or so

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I think he used to own a fleshlight when he was younger (early 20s) but other then that no,if he saw you using a toy he would make you continue whatever it was you were doing while he watched you and maybe if he was really horny he’d jerk off with you

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

hugeeeee tease.

the two of you were sitting at a booth during dinner,with two of your friends on the other side. Jake had his hand resting on your thigh which to most people simply looked like he was doing just that,but you and him both knew what he was doing. he had been rubbing his fingers along your inner thighs where he knew he had left bite marks and bruises. this resulted in a dull pain which went straight to your heat.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

other then whenever he’s getting head I think he just grunts a lot. like loud grunts each time he thrusts into you

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

loves watching threesome porn but he knows he would never do one because of how possessive he can get over you

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I think he has an average looking cock which is average in both girth and height

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I think it was pretty low before he met you. like if the chance presented himself he wouldn’t say no but he wouldn’t go out of his way to have sex. now he probably has sex about 3 times a week give or take

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he will either go to sleep within a few minutes or he will do the exact opposite and after he’s done making sure you’re okay he’ll lay with you and watch a movie while you either watch it with him or fall asleep in his arms