#and these two IDIOTSSS

[maybedr3am]

Evil reflective detective ejej...

Full ass comic here tho, they are so in love your honor.

[captain-noir]

nothing like having your ex-lover and son try and kill your current lover and friends just because you have replaced one batch of boys with another. poor naomi, she is so brilliant, everyone wants her for themselves.

[pentacass]

Tossing her crown onto the desk, Ayrenn stretches, then groans when her spine pops in a hundred places. She passes a wordless lament in her next sigh, and starts unbuckling the straps of her armour. Glancing about the tent, she notices something new sitting on the ground beside her bedroll - a bottle of wine, and a folded note with a single stalk of rose lying across its surface. Head cocked, Ayrenn picks up the rose and note, unfolding it to read Sielaire’s crisp script.

'Beloved, we've left early to scout ahead. My official report is on your desk. Sorry I can't be with you tonight. I've acquired a bottle of Summerset vintage for us to share, but you'll have to enjoy it alone for now. See you when I return.'

Instead of signing off with her own name this time, Sielaire had doodled a cat's head with three hearts beside it. A grin breaks through Ayrenn's exhausted expression at the sight.

"Gods, Sie." Ayrenn sighs, pressing the note to her chest. "Don't make me miss you more while you're gone."

[thecozywhaleshark]

King of hearts 9 was amazing 💚 i loved it 💚 finally those two idiotsss , they are so in love with each other 💚

They really are 💗💗💗 my two favorite idiots that have my whole heart ❤️

[human-souls-buy-dopamine]

So we changed it up a little bit, but the general vibe is still there, I think???

Xynn took a final gulp of the glass, draining the last drops of whatever alcoholic beverage it had ordered. It just kind of pointed at something and hoped its stomach would forgive it in the morning, and it considered the fact that it wasn't writhing in agony right now to be a good sign.

Damn. Is this how people became alcoholics? If it was, Xynn could totally understand. Granted, enjoying alcohol is a tough task for most Enderborn, considering the low tolerance that the race as a whole possessed. How in the three dimensions Xynn was drinking this without a problem was beyond it, but all it knew was that it didn't particularly care.

It didn't care, nor was it very aware of its surroundings. That would explain why it hadn't noticed the three Rottenhearts staring at it from a few tables behind, shrouded in almost comically villainous cloaks.

"Ssshut up," one of them hissed, their eyes glowing a brighter green as if to emphasize the point. "You idiotsss are gonna get us caught."

The heterochromiac of the trio rolled his purple-and-red eyes, flashing his fangs as he spoke. "Oh, yeah, like your fang-speak isn't gonna give us away, little Mx 'i-can't-sssssspeak-normal-Ovorlian,'" he mocked, dramatically extending the 's' sound.

Cloaked green eyes narrowed, probably about to mutter a greatly offensive curse in Enderian, before the third member of the party shushed the two with unnaturally long claws.

"Can you two stop arguing like babies? Stars, why did Her Eminence have to pair you buffoons with me," she muttered.

Both pairs of eyes facing her narrowed. The green-eyed Enderborn spoke, "Don't question Her Eminence's decisions, you know that sounds like tr—"

In a flash, a clawed hand had gripped the speaker's neck, in a manner so silent that nobody seemed to notice. The heterochromiac watched in wide-eyed silence.

"Don't you fucking dare even insinuate that I'd disrespect Her Eminence— I've more rank and respect for her than either you combined."

The hand squeezed tighter, dangerously close to cutting off circulation. "Got it?"

"Y— yeAh—"

"Good," she said, releasing their (now bruised) neck. "Let's do our jobs instead of arguing like fools."

The trio continued to observe Xynn. They'd, at first, deduced that it would be easiest to elimate it if they waited until it inevitably suffered the consequences of consuming alcohol with an Enderborn stomach. With all luck, it would go outside before passing out or throwing up, and they wouldn't have to craft an alibi.

"..is... is it— Oh, my stars, it's ordering another?"

They all stared in shock. Just one glass should've been enough to debilitate most Enderborn, and those with a higher tolerance should've been sprinting out of the door by now. What the FUCK was this guy on?

"That's— That's not natural," green-eyes muttered.

"Its eyes must've gotten too big for its stomach, that's all," the long-clawed member of the trio stated, though not sounding very convinced of her own theory.

They watched as Xynn took a massive swig.

"..I don't know about you guys, but I am not going to get myself killed trying to fight this— this cryptid of an Enderborn, if it even is one." Heterochromiac stood up. "I'm telling Her Eminence that something's gone wrong."

"No," green-eyes hissed, trying to pull him down again, "We can't come back empty-clawed—"

"I want to be able to come back in one piece, thank you," the other said. A small group of purple, floating particles swarmed him for a moment before he disappeared, having teleported back to the group's home dimension.

"Curse that ⌿⟒⏃⍀⌰⎍⌇⟒⍀—" green-eyes said, teleporting after him.

Somewhere nearby, a glass shattered. "Stars, how many times do they have to be told not to use Enderian in the Overworld? Starsdammit," long-claws grumbled, teleporting in chase of the other two.

Meanwhile, Xynn finished its second glass of..

"Hey, Bartender, isn't this supposed to be alcoholic?"

"Technically, yes, but my grandmother had a friend like you, and she's told me about how your kind tend to have weak stomachs."

Xynn blinked. How did this Overworlder know—

"So, I hope you don't mind, but I've been serving you sparkling apple cider."

You are incredibly tired and depressed so you go for a walk, you go to a bar across the street, in it are several world class spies and they think you are the underworld crime Boss, your casual behavior terrifies the sh!t out of them.

[ourovision]

CHAPTER TWO

A day or two after the horrific trial, it’s time to head out. You’re given a few hours notice to pack up whatever meager belongings you might have, and then you’re bustled off to the new location. For "safety purposes” that really just make you feel more like prisoners, everyone is blindfolded and their hands restrained, making the possibility of escape impossible. If anyone tries, they’re immediately sedated and arrive at the new setting still drowsy and unconscious. 

After an indeterminate amount of time on an awkward, confusing plane trip, you’re all marched out of the plane and lined up for the big reveal...

The weather outside is mild and a breeze blows against your face. The ground underfoot, for those who can tell, is uneven.... sand?

“Look alive, you idiotsss! (Or not, if you prefer-- kekeke!) Thisss time, it really will be sssurvival of the fittessst!”

The blindfolds are removed and several gasps escape from the crowd as everyone takes in the view. It seems that you’ve all been transported to a desert island.

It occurs to most of you that you’re entirely screwed.

“Have fun eating ssshit, dumbasssesss!” 

Monocobra cackles, then slithers off through the terrain. Monodragon is assumedly out there somewhere too. 

Your luggage is dumped unceremoniously beside you, the HPC representatives shoving parcels into your hands as well. Everyone gets their own little bundle of... well, hopefully whatever it is will help you survive! If you’re one of the lucky ones.

Please PM a mod to see what items you receive in your care parcel.