#and theres STILL leftovers and my sister is “letting me eat it”

[your-local-fools-treasury]

kill me if you want, but I'm not a big fan of lasagne

[tounderstandthesoul]

Chapter 6: The Bright Side

Y/N finally finds food, and a whole kitchen for supplies, but most of the Smilling Critters don't quite trust him, but a good thing DogDay is here! Y/N also Wonders a little bit about CatNap...

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Let me know if you like the pov switch between DogDay and Y/N…Later someone else important will be included.

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DogDay Pov:

I didn't want to scare him.... He was just standing there so small and scared at the big door, and I thought...well

He was scared.

I don't blame him for pushing me, he must have seen things down here that we can't even imagine. Besides, he saved us, you can't blame him for that. I've also heard his stomach a few times while we were running after him... I can't imagine how many weeks or months he hasn't eaten. He looks pretty skinny under that black shirt.

But now the group is taking a little distance from him, probably out of fear...

"He's crazy! And he's got all these scars... what do you think happened to him?" Kickin's statements are really not nice, he certainly can't help the scars, 'that was done to him'. And I don't even want to think about what was done to him when he reacts like that to a light paw on his shoulder...

"The way he pushed you in addition to that DogDay how are we supposed to trust him?"

I don't really think I need to answer that, 'We have no choice' but at the same time I feel sorry for him... He has no light in his eyes like we have.

"And what about his arm? Didn't you see that he deformed himself as if his body was made of-

"Now stop it! We have to trust him... Have you forgotten that he got us out of the cell?" now I'm looking at them all, Kickin and Hoppy are looking at the floor, Bubba is looking around a bit, and the rest are just looking away... Except CatNap.

"In a good moment we can ask him where we are or why we are here Okay, for now we have to follow him and-

clank

? 'did something happen?

"Hey where did he go?" I look ahead and he really ran away. So he really doesn't trust us... but that can still be changed. He probably needs his time as well as CatNap, he doesn't really seem to like being around others.

The room where the noise came from is...a kitchen?

Angel Pov:

Finally...

Food. So much, in every cupboard and in tins... It looks like a normal kitchen from school, so many cupboards and places to sit... I'm in heaven.

The whole kitchen is brown, a bit worn but there's no blood anywhere. I think this is where I'll be staying for the time being. I just can't believe it, a few days ago I was thinking about just letting CatNap or the prototype kill me, and now I finally have the chance to not be permanently hungry... well...CatNap, theres on with them that Looks like the One from here....

I quickly stand on a chair to get to a small white cupboard. I'm still so small, 'I'll have to change that later'. Of all the cupboards, this one looks the cleanest, so I slowly reach for the cold lever and pull it open. I was actually expecting food...but-

"Water..." So many bottles... and they are*cold. I immediately take one out and Another one Falls to the Floor, but I don’t care, I get off the chair and kneel down in front of one of the dirtier cupboards... I once saw one of Miss Delight's sisters here taking out something like food. I open the cupboard and it has two leftovers inside. I slowly grab one of the trays with my right hand and my bottle of water with my left. My body still hurts so I prefer to sit on the floor for now.

The floor is a bit hard, but I don't care... I finally have something to eat.

The food is packed in a strange bowl with foil on top, which I peel off straight away. The foil hangs on my dirty hands and I quickly rub it off on the floor. I can't wait and look into the bowl.... Meat, with rice and a light red liquid. The meat looks a bit weird, and the rice is quite stuck together, like glue. But that doesn't matter, because I grab the piece of meat with my dirty hand and shove it all the way into my mouth.

'It tastes good...' As I bite into it, the juice from the meat slowly runs onto my tongue. It's hardly flavoured but it still tastes just Perfect.  I stop chewing and swallow it straight down. I slowly move my left hand to the rice, take a bit in my hand and shove it in my mouth. It's a little dry, but with the meat juice on my dirty tongue it tastes as good as the meat, if not better. My head is empty, I can hardly hear anything...I can slowly feel warm tears going down my Face. 'The only thing that matters is that I no longer have to starve.’

DogDay Pov:

I slowly walk forward and enter the room where the loud noise came from. I hope nothing happened to him and we just misheard.

But now that I've entered the room I see it, 'A kitchen?' There are cupboards everywhere, some chairs and a couple of lamps. And there he sits Angel, alone on the floor. He's eating, and it looks like he really hasn't had anything for a long time. 'I feel sorry for him', he still looks very scared while he's like this and I'd like to sit and talk to him, but I'm interrupted by a comment that really shouldn't have been made.

"Disgusting" I turn around to see who could say something like that with that perspective. Kickin? how can you say something like that? he's sitting there, haggard and like he's about to fall over from insomnia and you say something like that?

I'm surprised no one responds and tells Kickin how mean that statement was, not even Bobby or Crafty. But CatNap looks at Kickin like she's about to attack her. 'I guess she understands angel'. I slowly turn back to him and he has finally noticed us. But he doesn't look at any of us, picks up a small glass bottle, apparently filled with water, and opens it. He drinks it in a few seconds, and I'm the first person who doesn't just stand around stupidly at the door but moves. I take note of his personal space and sit down on a chair a little further away from him.

I look at the group and they are still standing there at the door without moving a bit. Silence reigns for a few seconds until very light and quiet paws start to move. 'CatNap?' she doesn't come to me but goes to a wardrobe and opens it. I can't see exactly what she's doing, but she takes out two bottles with her Purple Tail, that look like what Engel has just drunk. She comes a little closer to me and gives me both bottles. Then she moves to a small stool, grabs it by the side and pulls it over to me. She sits down slowly and quietly 'She seems to be paying attention to Engel'. I hand her one of the bottles and she continues to look at the group.

They still haven't moved from the door, but I can see Hoppy and Kickin whispering to each other the whole time.

Angel now seems to look up from his 'beautiful grayish-blue hair' and moves his eyes from me and CatNap to the group. 'He was crying' I feel a bit bad as we've probably interrupted a peaceful moment of his. He looks a little skeptical and rubs an arm across his face, CatNap whispering something in my ear.

"He doesn't just have these scars, he has real wounds on his arms."  I hadn't paid attention to that, because I was looking at his face, the soft and slightly dirty skin in the dark. And His dark grey eyes, under which there are strong dark circles. 'I finally want to know his real name'.

But suddenly he stands up.

"... I'm... I'm sorry..."     huh? what does he mean?

"That...... I pushed y-..you..." His voice sounds so soft, he definitely hasn't spoken to anyone for a very long time. He also stutters a lot, but that's not bad. I think about what I could say to him, I'm actually sorry for touching him all of a sudden. But at the same time I want to know what's going on and I could just start asking. But that wouldn't be nice to him. But out of the corner of my eye I see Kickin open his mouth-

"As you should b-"

"No.... I'm much more sorry, I shouldn't have just touched you." I'll have to talk to Kickin later about his behaviour, it really can't go on like this... No... With the whole group. They all look at him like he's a monster, 'like he's the one who dragged us here'. But I trust him, he's innocent... I just know that. He stands up slowly and looks at the ground, and then starts walking again?

He walks towards me, and i can feel my Heart starting to beat. I see that he is slowly walking straight. He no longer walks bent over as if he is being chased. He comes very slowly close to me and whispers something to me and CatNap...

"one....One minute" what is he up to? does he want to look for an exit? I look at CatNap and she stares at him sharply, she's Watching him. He slowly walks to the door and I can see the rest of the critters staring at him, he's so nervous and scared with all these stares.

He opens the door slowly and carefully and walks in front of it without looking out, and I hear a soft snap, 'he closed it' but what is he doing now? I look over at The Critters and the first thing I hear is

"He's crazy!, plus the wounds! and DogDay? why are you apologising-

"Shut the fuck up Kickin!...." It just slipped out... but someone had to say it. I just hear the others gasping, but it's the TRUTH and I'm defending him now.

"He freed us, saved us,led us here where there's food and you're STILL INSULTING HIM? WE'RE NOT IN THE RAINBOW VALLEY ANYMORE SO I CAN SAY IT AGAIN SHUT THE FUCK UP KICKIN!" absolute silence for a few seconds.... Nobody dares to say anything and that's a good thing. He saved us, led us to food and 'this is the thanks for that?

"You....-"

Squeakkkk

We all look straight at the door, it's him... But completely different. He's a bit taller than before, still a bit shorter than me but much taller than before. You can see the wounds on his arms more clearly now, and he definitely has more scars than before. And now his hair goes down to his neck.

What did he do outside?

Angel Pov:

I just don't get it... Why is she apologising to me, I pushed her. I don't even dare to talk to them all the time... so why?

No... Now that I've finally got my energy back, I can be my normal size again. But all the looks from them make me too nervous...I can't manage it here. 'I have to go'

I stand up slowly and look at the floor, not daring to look at any of them or I'll be insulted again. I walk to the door and there sit DogDay and...... CatNap I only trust DogDay and say quietly:

"one....One minute" I don't turn around... 'Did she even hear it?' 'No, this is more important. I open the door with the handle and walk out, another dark corridor. But I see something like a lift at the back. I have to concentrate.... Lengthen my arms and legs. It doesent hurts anymore, 'I wonder what I can do now' I pull up my shirt and the dirty and now dry trousers. I could actually go on without the eight... into the dark depths... No, DogDay said it herself: "if we work together we can do anything"

So I turn round and just before I open the door I hear loud shouting:

"Shut the fuck up Kickin!...." Was that ....DogDay? Why is she insulting Kickin? Are they fighting in there? No that's wrong I shouldn't be out here listening-

""He freed us, saved us,led us here where there's food and you're STILL INSULTING HIM? WE'RE NOT IN THE RAINBOW VALLEY ANYMORE SO I CAN SAY IT AGAIN SHUT THE FUCK UP KICKIN!" She's defending me? Why? So far I've hardly done anything except let them almost all die... What does she see in me that she goes so far as to insult everyone else and defend me? Maybe she is the angel that was sent for me... With her orange eyes... And her smile even in the worst moments... On top of that she defends me-

Damn what am I doing here... I'm going crazy just thinking about her. My heart is also starting to beat loudly again, plus I'm getting all warm...

'I have to see her' and so I turn round again and enter the room.

I stop at the door first... They stare at me again, somehow I don't feel comfortable in my body as it is right now like i normally do. But I think it's finally time to talk. So I go back to the empty place I left behind and sit down.

"I-I d-d-think... that we c-..can talk n-..now"

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: [sends her the posts because no other way she'd see them] Rio: Shit, girl Rio: I was worried it might go down like this Indie: she's so extra Indie: never should have let him in the door Indie: the feds are gonna be hardcore @ it now Rio: Surely she let him out Rio: stupid woman Rio: but that's gonna pale in comparison now so Rio: What's Drew doing about it? Indie: boy was begging for a sick time & i gave it but its on me not him 😒😒 hold ur liquor u tourist Indie: hes flat roofin but other than that no thing to 👀 Indie: it b early tho & we all had a late Rio: They're a 24/7 services though, babe Rio: he'll be wanting to move his stash and generally clear his act up for the visit Rio: you too Indie: is it? on hols too thats a madness Indie: yeah the drum be clear of all his goods like that Indie: idk man mayb its chill like she gonna post that & not post up no harder than Rio: They might take xmas day off maybe but you know Rio: business as usual for all jan 1st Rio: well that's something Rio: maybe, but bitches like that LOVE making complaints about everything so maybe not Indie: she do have that talk to the manager vibe Indie: i done fucked up real didnt i? Rio: big time karen Rio: nah, in the eyes of everyone it's Drew that did Rio: but they won't be able to prove the drugs bit if they're gone so it's not enough to take you, a party gone wrong, bad judgment but maybe we can swing it that he was here somehow Rio: hmm Indie: but like he had mad trust for me & i brought him mad problems Rio: they're grown problems, he's big enough to fix 'em Indie: u too making ur nite go off on a real turn Indie: bet ur boy is bare vexed Rio: you know i'd rather you ring me than let it go more tits Rio: what are big sisters for Rio: but yeah, didn't even see him in the end so he ain't stopped Indie: innit Indie: tell him he can hit me up for something to take off that edge Indie: debts be paid around here Rio: um you ain't supposed to have no thing 'scuse you Rio: there's a plan here Indie: i gots places & heads to trust in Rio: nah, I'll make it up to him, don't worry 'bout that Indie: 😉😉😉 Rio: 😏 shush lil girl Indie: grown problems ur big enough to fix i kno 💋🤤🤤 Rio: so thirsty, go hydrate Rio: know you need to 😘 Indie: rude i got lipsed by bare boys last nite they were rigging dem bottle spins cos im 🔥🔥 dont b tryna put me out Rio: you need to cool off for a minute, bitch Rio: you in trouble Indie: not wit u Rio: yeah, don't push it 😉 Indie: 💔😢😢 dont do me like that on day 1 of the year 🙏🙏🙏 Rio: it started HOURS ago and I was still here with you cleaning blood out the carpet Rio: don't talk to me about day 1s when I'm clearly ride or die Indie: u kno im good for ious & i got mad love Rio: 🧡 Rio: i'm good really Rio: let's sort the actual situation Indie: u gonna charm the social for me? Rio: give it my best Indie: safe ✌✌ Rio: probably the straightest middle-aged lady Rio: so more likely your da will have to get on it Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: what drew b good for Rio: init tho Indie: we all been knew Indie: he better werk so it works Rio: Sure it won't be too hard, like Rio: even if she ain't all that 😂 Indie: she aint gon b bangin but his exes show he aint need that to chirp on Rio: 👀 Indie: 😂😂😏😏 Indie: can u roll up wit eats im about to die Rio: bit rude to both our ma, like lmao Rio: 'course Rio: bring leftovers Indie: ur ma dont count as no ex cos she ✖ed him out Indie: & my ma got that permanent ✖ so bigger problems than my shade innit Rio: no problems when you an 👼 Rio: fucking hopefully Indie: u my 👼 bringing that energy Indie: that means u can jam Rio: is it? Rio: 😏 Rio: let Ryan know eh Indie: he kno u a 😈 too Indie: how he be livin Rio: mhmm Rio: well he gon' have to wait for now Indie: he gon have beef wit me Indie: soz boyyy Rio: nah we was already beefin' 'fore this Indie: yeah? Indie: what he do? 👀 Rio: nah, what I do more like Rio: you know I'm 😈 Indie: o shit Indie: gimme that 411 Rio: nothing exciting Rio: just be looking too bad to be giving him that much air, you know the drill Indie: hes so hyped for u Indie: its been weeks boy no u cant cuff it Indie: who u think u is Rio: can you blame him Rio: hot property, baby Indie: u did look 💣💣💣 last nite my bad Indie: theres a boy @ school tryna chat @ the rest hes my bf so i feel it fr Indie: boy please DO I LOOK LIKE Indie: not tryna hold ur damn hand Rio: is he cute tho Indie: if he werent he wouldnt be able to chat no thing Indie: 💪 fuck him up Rio: 😂 Rio: gotta 'tect the rep Indie: he kno it tho & its like tell me how 🔥🔥 i am dont b talking on urself all the time Rio: not a mood Indie: innit Indie: dry as Rio: that's boys for you Indie: & he didnt show last nite Rio: playing hard to get or just got parents who give a fuck Indie: year up x 2 so he could come thru the ends whenever Indie: but i 💋 all his mandem so itll hit back Rio: play @ his own game  alright Indie: do u think i went too hard tho? Rio: do you want him to be your mans or nah Indie: idk Rio: then it depends Rio: beyond knowing he loves himself, idk how he's vibing Rio: might be too far Indie: hes vibing like hes about me but i Rio: but you? Indie: how do i live that Indie: trust it Indie: drews meshing a new every week he says u gotta keep free on it Rio: works for him Rio: everyone's different Rio: you don't have to trust him yet Indie: mayb hes only about me til i give him something & im not tryna be a show like that Rio: that happens, not gonna sit here and lie and say it don't Rio: you're too young to be thinking on that or worrying Rio: keep him and the rest waiting Indie: yeah okay Indie: gimme a few to have puberty roll up Indie: still waiting on that Rio: it'll happen Rio: not that it's a barrel of laughs, like Rio: nothing to be hyped about Indie: i dont want it Indie: freaky shit going on Rio: unless you gonna stop eating, which unlikely Rio: you fucked, babe, we all are, soz Rio: get boobies though, perks Indie: that best not be you tryna skip on bringing me a meal bitch Indie: bout to hit the afterlife running here like Rio: 🙄 omw you rude ass hoe Rio: like you said, none of us had earlies Indie: omw fr or like when u tell ur mans u @ the club but u still tryin on fits in ur room Rio: like fr when I ever done you like that Indie: dont b starting Indie: ily Rio: 🤞 never Rio: ily more Indie: drews back if u wanna spit at him how to sort his life Rio: i will Rio: he ain't ready for this Indie: resolutions b dashing past this postcode we all avoidin that change Rio: you gotta Rio: sort you both Indie: hey swerve me im good Rio: 😏 Rio: fine i'll focus on your daddy Rio: no love for you Indie: 👼👼🤞🤞 Indie: call him that when you give it & he'll give in Rio: oh you schooling me on how to get blokes to do what I want now Rio: ok miss thing Indie: just him i 👂 what i hear & i kno what i kno Indie: hes here for all that Rio: you poor child Rio: anything grosser than parents going at it 😬 Indie: nah man its nasty & long being under this roof sometimes trust Rio: 🤢 Indie: some of his girls got me tempted to 📱 the social my own self & my ma looking like a saint Rio: that ain't right Rio: negates any buffness he got going on Indie: why lads wanna get on or under ANYTHING?! Indie: true madness Indie: 😂😂😂 Rio: friction 🤷 Indie: yeah but like theres girls out there bringing it & you're gonna hit that Rio: he probably ain't got as much choice as he fronts Rio: lots of grown women ain't about his lifestyle so that leaves him w the younger ones who is Rio: stick at it too long, you get busted, just facts Indie: when you old & so is your baggage 😂😂✌✌ Rio: I mean Rio: I ain't say nothing 😉 Indie: keep that ☮ mama Rio: least he looks p young still Rio: nothing worse than an actual creepy old man dealer Indie: do he? 👴 to me Rio: nah Rio: he only what, 31 Rio: that's no thing to me, gurl Indie: mayb im just 🍋 cos he aint tryna gimme no 💸💸💸 Indie: & he aint caring my head hurts Rio: aw bb Rio: 'round the corner Rio: I'll look after you Indie: 💖💖💖 Indie: u didnt tell me it b like this tho partying Rio: didn't think i had to be that quick with the warnings Rio: next day hurts Indie: always? Rio: 'less you prepare and do it right Rio: it can be bearable Rio: better than you feeling, no doubt Indie: how i do that? school me yeah Rio: 'course Rio: on the to-do list now Indie: we doing the next as a back to school thing so you got a few to bring me up Rio: you best be doing it at some other fucker's gaff and all Rio: giving me grey hairs 🙄 Indie: 😂😂✌✌ Indie: imma make that boy host it Indie: if he love me Rio: You're getting a chaperone regardless Indie: serious? Rio: yeah Indie: 💔💔💔 Rio: don't start like you don't know why Indie: i aint trippin you are tho if u think i want a repeat Rio: what, you too cool for me now? Indie: innit 😏😏😏 Indie: but nah just Rio: you so is Rio: you think imma embarrass you in-front of your mans Indie: he aint gon b my mans if u there Indie: whos 👀 me over u Rio: nah don't be silly Indie: im being real Indie: ur 💣💣💣🔥🔥🔥 Rio: so are you Rio: and I don't think a lad who likes you will be into me Indie: every lad b into u they all chat on u fully 😍😍😍💘💘😍 Rio: sounds like plenty are into you too Indie: 😂😂 it was for the spin Indie: cant pussy out Rio: 😏 mhmm Rio: well I promise you I won't be joining in, like Rio: now come let me in if you got strength to get the door Indie: 💪💪 babyyy Indie: [lets her in cos fuck know what drew is doing, flexing in the mirror probably] Rio: [lol watch him rush out when he realize] Indie: [hears her voice & runs out pretending to be casual] Rio: [oh boy, do not deserve her sorting your life, temporarily, but it's for Indie so] Indie: [bless her she's dying rn & just wants to be snuggled cos literal child] Rio: [give them a sec 'scuse you sir] Indie: [I hate everything about this, Carly didn't die for this] Rio: [just making leftovers] Indie: [drew chatting to her like she's here to hang with him & we all know] Rio: [don't you touch caleb's food bitch] Indie: [is nothing sacred you slag] Indie: [indie just fully lying stretched out on the counter like its a bed like let me die] Rio: [getting a bag of peas or some shit in a tea towel and putting it on her head] Indie: [such a good mum but that don't mean you can step ma her drew] Rio: [not her fault she can converse more like a grown-up than you Indie: [we should send Indie running off to the bathroom no offense Caleb but I'm evil & wanna leave them alone for a sec for the mood] Rio: [shoulda gone to hold her hair but now you can level with him and he can pretend he's a responsible adult lmao] Indie: [& Ryan can be highkey & he can pretend he cares] Rio: [ah the joys]

[thepleasureisguilty]

A Day of Pampering Chapter 7:

Part of an ongoing rp between @ask-a-slippery-boy and myself

Chapter 1:(SFW)  https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180404620744/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-1-insomnia-and-a-night

Chapter 2: (SFW) https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180491298229/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-2-bathe-in-the-baths

Chapter 3: (NSFW ish): https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180609254064/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-3-turning-tables-in

Chapter 4: (NSFW)

https://ask-a-slippery-boy.tumblr.com/post/180612617105/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-4-love-languages

chapter 5 : (SFW ish)

https://ask-a-slippery-boy.tumblr.com/post/180645825730/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-5-seven-minutes-in

chapter 6: (SFW):  https://thepleasureisguilty.tumblr.com/post/180782130404/a-day-of-pampering-chapter-6-the-counts-new

this one is SFW: contains feasting with a countess and  making Devoraks blush.

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I jump a little as you squeeze me but I don’t make a sound. I hold your arm as we follow Nadia down lucio’s hallway and to the dining room. Servents scurry around and Nadia grabs one and tells them to find Portia and have her join us.*

*The dining room is also fairly busy. We are seated across from Nadia near the end of the table.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I sit next to you, holding your hand under the table and watching the servants scurry about and having this sensation of wanting to help *

11/13/2018

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Pasha comes through the doors in a hurry* “Countess, you called for me?” *she looked a little flustered, like she may have ran a bit to get here*

*Nadia held up her hand to calm her.* “To join us, for dinner.” *She gestures to the seat besides her. Portia blushed and walked over to the seat only then realizing who “us” accompanied*

“What??? Ilya??? Mast??? You both look so good! Ilyusha I didn’t even know you could wear at color..”

*nadia smirked* “they do look rather good don’t they? I dressed them up after I found them rummaging around in lucio’s closet of all places...”

*portia gave us a look and a gesture which I returned with a shrug*

thepleasureisguilty

*i wave at portia and give a guilty smile when she gestures at us*

Haha there really is no excuse portia *I shrug as well still grinning*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia narrows her eyes at us, as if to say that she doesn’t buy that there isn’t some wild story involved, knowing us.* *Nadia simply looks amused at the whole situation.* “So, Mast, you mentioned you run a lounge? Please tell me more.”

thepleasureisguilty

*i flush* oh i do, its a very... Underground business. An artist collective of sorts where the group can make a few bucks and have a place to practice their art. *I try to skirt past the fact that we feast on the leftovers of nobles*

If you ever would like a portrait done Nadia, i would be honored to assist

*my eyes go up to the painting in the dining room* that was commissioned by lucio wasnt it? ... *I smile* I can tell by the color scheme and composition

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia and and I devolve into making strange expressions at each other. A wordless conversion that is essentially a back and forth of “what did you do?” And “I didn’t do anything”*

thepleasureisguilty

*my eyes occasionally switch between you two and i laugh to myself*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia looks thoughtful.* “I do appreciate the underground resurgence of art in this city. I always find the most interesting things there. Theaters, markets, alike. I’d be very interested to see what yours is like.” *She looks a little surprised when you offer to make her portrait and laugh when you say the one on the wall was obviously commissioned by Lucio.* “you’ve only spend a few minutes in his closet and already you can tell the man’s taste. How amusing.”

*Portia surfaces from our “conversation”* “Mast is really talented, my lady! They drew Pepe and I the other night.” *Nadia smiles* “well I’ll have to consider it, since they come so highly recommended.”

thepleasureisguilty

*I blush a bit at the praise and smile* id be happy to sketch you sometime to show you my talents Nadia. Then you may determine for yourself if it is justified

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She seems pleased* we’ll have to make an appointment of some sort.

*Servants come in with carts. They set down wide but shallow bowls of creamy soup. They set down glasses of fine white wine to pair with it, and vanish quickly as they appear*

thepleasureisguilty

*I inspect the food, the smell is rich in spices and fish* cream of scallop? *I venture the guess smiling*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia nods* “You must have a good pallet. That is correct.” * the soup is delicious. I make a satisfied sigh as I eat, but that might also be because I can hold your thigh under the table without anyone noticing*

thepleasureisguilty

*I humm happily as you hold my thigh and i taste the soup, it is great. Highly doubt this batch would ever be sent back to the lounge *

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I trace circles into your inner thigh. I have such a hard time keeping my hands off of you, I’m actually surprised we ever make it outside sometimes* Delicious, as always. Thank you for the invite Nadia, your hospitality is greatly appreciated.

*Portia nods* “And thank you for inviting me to join you too! It’s nice to get a quiet moment with you *she blushes* e - everyone I mean

thepleasureisguilty

*I give a glance to nadia as though to let her know portia wasn’t talking about me or her brother* indeed ... More wine for anyone? *i stand and reach for the carafe *

*i refill your glass* I imagine you two don’t get many quiet moments *i grin slyly* running a city is exhausting and im sure portia feels it too being your right hand

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia is very perspective. Your Portia’s comment, along with your glance, do not go unnoticed to her. Everyone thanks you for the refill.* “Oh not at all!” *Portia insists* “Helping my lady is no trouble at all! Especially when she works so hard to keep the city together. You should see all the work she’s gotten done this last week! It’s incredible!” *Nadia flushes a bit under her praise* “Nonsense, Portia. You work very hard for me.” *there’s a low purr in her voice. I might not be particularly perceptive, but even I pick up on that little subtly* *I arch and eyebrow at Portia, who blushes deeply*

thepleasureisguilty

*i smile... Checkmate.... My brow raises to portia too* oh dont worry portia, i know for a fact how much you enjoy working for the countess, nothing you have told me would ever make me think you didnt enjoy your job *I smile earnestly knowing that my point has been made And the ball has began to roll*

*I sit back down and put my hand on your thigh, under the table*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She turns bright red under our combined gaze. Nadia observes this with amusement and a mischievous curl of her lip. I could pick out a Dom Face (tm) from miles away. I’m deeply uninterested in knowing whatever she may be imagining for my baby sister, but I am glad to know that Nadia may be interested. If anyone would treat Pasha right, and give her the spoiling she deserves, it’s Nadia. Under the table, I put my hand on yours, and intertwine our touching legs. I attempt to act oblivious to all the different tensions happening at the table and work on finishing my soup*

thepleasureisguilty

*I try to hide a smirk with finishing my soup and drinking the wine, i intertwined our fingers together and reciprocate the leg touching, i am not acting oblivious at all to all the tensions in the room. I watch nadia, observing her Dom face gawking at the blushing portia... I trust that she will tell her how she feels when the time feels right. As for me and you... Everyone already knows were fucking.. No mystery to it and i like it that way... I like the fact that we and everyone knows we want eachother and it is simply up to us to determine when and how*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*As we finish our soup, servants re enter and take the bowls from us. They replace them with plates of roasted lamb, accompanied by many different sauces and sides of jeweled rice. I favor a minty yogurt for mine dish.*

thepleasureisguilty

*my mouth waters as i look at the plate* so... Did you know roasted lamb was my favorite meal countess?

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia looks surprised* “I did not, but I am glad to hear it. Hopefully it is cooked to your liking.”

thepleasureisguilty

*i cut open the meat, juice pours from it and the center is a bright pink color with charred edges* perfection....

ask-a-slippery-boy

“Ah I am happy to hear it. You are my guest, and I would prefer to to afford you as much luxury as I can.” *Nadia says*

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile, nod, and shamelessly dig in. The noise i make is slightly erotic without meaning to be*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I make a sensual satisfied sound that is perhaps a bit too loud when I take the first bite of the lamb. It is delicious. Portia shoots me an unimpressed expression.*

*Nadia smirks and teases* “It seems Portia was not exaggerating when she said the two of you were very well suited for each other.”

thepleasureisguilty

*I swallow and chuckle at nadias comment and look to you lovingly*.... I guess not *i smile and squeeze your hand before diving back into the meat*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I beam back at you, my lips are shiny with the oils of the lamb. Being slightly uncouth next to you? My fantasy come true. This tender moment is slightly interrupted when Nadia says.* “Next time we really ought to invite Asra, and MC as well. Gather the ‘old gang’ as it where.” *I accidentally inhale a grain of rice and choke on it rather ungracefully*

thepleasureisguilty

*the second bite holds all the flavor, it is full bodied and juicy, theres a bit of blood left that leaves a fatty copper taste to it. The texture is divine, the meat is tender and ritch. Garlic, sage, tyme, and rosemary was rubbed into the outside of the slab before being cooked. The roasting process formed a crunchy heavily seasoned layer on the outside and a soft, tender middle...im missing something... It adds to the moisture of the flesh... White wine!... Slits made in the cut towards the end of the cooking process flooded with white wine... Ohh this truly is magnificent. I take a bite of the rice... Olive, garlic, parsley and a creamy dill flavor hit my senses... Little bits of chopped up onion...and the rice is panfried so it has bits of crunch to it... --- my enjoyment of the meal is interrupted by you choking, i offer you my water and rub your back*

ask-a-slippery-boy

A A Asra? *Cough* I-if you so wish it Countess. It um... has been a while. *Nadia raises an eyebrow* “Oh, is there a problem, I had thought the two of you had put your... past behind you.” *I cough a few more times* We did errr that is, we have... *I blush deeply*

thepleasureisguilty

*I raise a brow, before i put two and two together* Asra?

And old lover im assuming *i raise a brow and smirk at you*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I drink some wine to finally stop my choking* The three of us... Nadia, Asra, and I, used to be quite close friends... “Yes,” Nadia chimed in, “This was before Julian ‘murdered’ my husband.” *I flush deeper and deeper* Well things progressed between Asra and I, but the ending was.... a little messy.... “Yes, our Doctor was thoroughly heart broken if I recall correctly.” *Nadia added helpfully* *I shoot her an exasperated expression* It was a long time ago. But... well, that last fight was a little hurtful... we both said things we shouldn’t have.

“And” *added Nadia* “They have spent plenty of time to get her since then. I personally don’t understand where your anxiety stems from.” *Nadia said. I only know that she It attempting to comfort me after knowing her for so long. Her approach is generally logical and a little cold.* “Clearly Asra has let the past go. You should not be worried about what he has left to say to you.”

True. *I pose with my fingers on my forehead dramatically* But it was not Asra’s heart that was broken on that fateful night *Truthfully I don’t know why I’m still scared to see him. Maybe because I know that he’s seen my worst qualities and isn’t afraid to point them out. I hope I can cover any genuine concern by pretending to be overdramatic*

thepleasureisguilty

*damn harsh... Nadias words strike... But your reaction it seems like youve dealt with this before... I give you a look when you overdramatize and bring your hands from your face and into mine* okay drama queen *i smile trying to lighten the mood* if you need to have a long talk with asra to calm your anxieties about him... Then I suggest you do it, it can even be at the lounge if you like... If you dont want to do that then i wont encourage us going on a triple date with him *I smile and touch the bottom of your chin in a "buck up" manner*

But i will have you putting on a one man show to hide your anxiety... Deal? *I smile at you hopeful *

ask-a-slippery-boy

*But do we need to talk? I’m not sure what we would say to each other. I give your hand a squeeze.* I... I don’t know if a heart to heart is exactly what a I need or not, but I’m not opposed to a triple date. *Portia blushes deeply each time we say that word* I think exposure may be the correct therapy here. *I kiss your hands* Nadia is right, we have spent time together since. I don’t think there’s much remaining as far as bad blood goes. *I kiss your hands again* Thank you for being understanding. Don’t let your lamb go cold on my account. *I smile and let you go. Returning back to my food as well*

thepleasureisguilty

*I squeeze your hand reassuringly and glance apologetic at nadia and portia nodding my head at each of them before returning to the lamb*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*they both seems happy that you managed to talk me down. Both have bore witness to how deep I can go into my little tangent. Nadia does not approve of emotional coddling, but she seems to appreciate your problem solving approach. Portia smiles to herself too. *

thepleasureisguilty

*i understand the spiral... The use of theatrics to hide real emotion or make satire out of what your feeling. I also know that one needs to be told they are doing so and given another solution to the issue*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I don’t think I’ve ever been with anyone who really understood the motions of my emotional spirals as well as you do. I squeeze your leg under the table. This isn’t the time to talk about it really, but I do appreciate it. I appreciate you, entirely. I shoot you a loving look.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I reciprocate the squeeze and look back at you smiling* So, when are we planning this triple date or then? *I perk up smiling at Nadia and Portia*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia smirks and Portia turns red* “Hmm... unfortunately I don’t have much as far as free time as of late. I have lots of projects in the works, things Vesuvia desperately need. Finally I’ve removed most of my obstacles in completing them.“

thepleasureisguilty

If there is anything i can assist you with Nadia, please just ask *i smile at her* you have been very...kind to me. I want to be of assistance anyway i can.

ask-a-slippery-boy

*She sighs* “it’s hard to tell what I’ll be needing in the future. But I will keep you in mind should I need use of your skills. Thank you for the offer, Mast. I do look forward to our date” *she made a meaningful glance at Portia, who looked like she may jump out of her skin* “I just cannot guarantee that it will be very soon.” *She smiled mischievously* “And I would like very much to visit your lounge. Portia,” *Portia jumped to attention* “Would you like to attend with me? See what sort of trouble your brother has gotten himself into?”

thepleasureisguilty

*I cant help but grin in semi disbelieve and victory, a heavy sense of accomplishment washing over me as nadia asks*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Portia gave me a look up and down, eyes lingering on my bite marks* “I’m not sure how much I want to know.”

Nadia laughed. “Yes. I did see perhaps a little too much when I found them earlier...”

“Oh gross!!! I am so sorry my lady! Ilya! I cannot believe you!”

thepleasureisguilty

*I flush and laugh a bit* honestly I think it was a good thing you came in when you did nadia *I blush more very embarrassed and a little proud*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia’s grin deepened, obviously getting a bit of a kick out of grossing out Portia and embarrassing me* “Oh? And why is that, Mast?”

*I turn red*

thepleasureisguilty

*uhoh... Was not expecting that...* uh hhh hmmm *i turn bright red nable to answer, my articulation skills have betrayed me*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia rests her head on her hands and waits patiently for you to answer clearly*

thepleasureisguilty

*i smirk wide and rest my head on my hands in the same fashion* you would have been blind by all the gody things we were trying on in your husbands closet...

Seriously some of the things he owned were quite terrifying. Im only glad you were spared

*i sip my wine raising my eye brows at her*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Pasha pretends to gag. I say nothing, knowing i will only blow your cover if I try and help. Nadia, on the other hand, I’ve never seen such an evil look on her face.* “I assure you the most terrifying things in there were gifts from me. Did you have any favorites?”

thepleasureisguilty

Hmmm *I scratch my chin thoughtfully* I would have to say my favorite gawdy thing in there, that i saw so far* would have to be the large red cloak with white fur and black spots on it with the giant gold lion clasp in the front

*I chuckle while saying it, honestly not knowing if he owned such a thing*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia sighed, disappointed* “Oh I thought you were talking about the flogs. You’re quite right, I hated seeing that dumb cape. A lion? Honestly...”

thepleasureisguilty

Flogs? Oh we didnt get that far! Perhapse you could show us later? If you like *i smile* and agreed *I nod fain knowing what shes talking about* very distasteful

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia places a hand on Portia’s shoulder, who looks as though she may faint* “I’ll think about it, I’d hate to scare dear Portia here. Unless red hair and easily flustered aren’t the only dominant Devorak genes...” *im not particularly surprised that Nadia knows what a massive masochist I am. It’s not exactly a secret. But Pasha... looks confused and terrified. I’d have to tease her about it later.*

*As we finish dinner, servants replace our lamb with delicate little cakes. Each seems to be a different flavor. Mine is white chocolate and raspberry*

thepleasureisguilty

*I chuckle at the situation and turn my attention to the little cake* Mmmm coffee and a dark chocolate

ask-a-slippery-boy

*The cake is good too. I make another sound that could possibly be interpreted as lude. Pasha looks like she could kill me.  * Nadia, this is so delicious, I am continuously impressed with your skillful chiefs.

thepleasureisguilty

*I make a sound at my second bite of the tiny cake* agreed this is a wonderful meal, thank you so much

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia smiles* well thank you for the company. Even if it was... unexpected.

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile back and chuckle* dont worry nadia... Next time we break in we promise to be much more careful not to get caught *I wink at her*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia scoffed* I’d much prefer that you ask me if you may visit. I might even let you use a bath that isn’t covered in a thick layer of dust and Gods knows what else.” *she gives us a meaningful look when she said “what else” that makes me blush.*

*Portia chimes in* What you used Lucio’s /Bath/ too???

thepleasureisguilty

*I smile guiltily at portia* I am of course joking nadia... I would definitely ask your permission first

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia relaxes* “Good I would hate to put my guards on high alert to spot you. It would probably even more embarrassing to be caught by them than by me. They won’t wait until a convenient time to stop you...” *she winks*

thepleasureisguilty

*I laugh embarrassed and turn a bright red again I look at you to see your reaction as well*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I have been caught with my pants down by the palace guards before.* No, they do not. *i state this matter of factly. When I catch your eyes I smile softly at your blush. It’s so damned cute.*

thepleasureisguilty

*I sputter out a laugh at the no they dont attempting not to cackle*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*nadia gave Portia a sympathetic pat* siblings can be difficult

thepleasureisguilty

*poor portia, this entire night she has been embarrassed and practically tormented by nadia.... I know shes loving the attention though*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I decide to cut Portia some slack and give her something else to think about besides Nadia’s close proximity and all the wild sex you and I have been having since we last spoke to her.* It’s been a few days, I have to ask, how is my niece Pepi? Is she happy? Does she miss me?

*Portia rolls her eyes* “Pepi is very happy! Unlike you, I take good care of her!” *I roll my eyes back* you asked me to watch her, and I did. She’s fine. *Portia looks offended* She’s fine because I came home in time to save her from you!

thepleasureisguilty

*I turn to you* ilya? Did you not take care of pepei? *I narrow my gaze at you*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I take a deep breath* I did. I swear.

*Pasha pips in* “He did not! That giant raven of his was going to carry her off!”

No he wasn’t! He’s a good- *I flush, the words “good boy” almost come out of my mouth. I’m a little extra sensitive to the phrase these days* he’s a good bird. And I was watching to make sure anyways... also Malak isn’t even my bird. We’re just friends....

thepleasureisguilty

Malak is a good boy I can say that for a fact. And I'm sure pepei wouldn't let anyone man handle her *I smile*

ask-a-slippery-boy

*I shift my posture as you say the phrase. Nadia defiantly notices. Portia pouts* “Even fighters need help sometimes. And Ilya if the Raven is your friend then I’m sure he’s rowdy. He squawks up a storm whenever he sees me.”

*I blink* must be the uniform…

*she narrows her eyes* Ilya that doesn’t make any sense

*Nadia leans on her hands* “It’s hard to say, Portia. Julian seems like a /good boy/. I’m sure he wouldn’t leave your dear Pepi at risk...” *I flush deeply and grab your hand* *Pasha misses the significance* He’s not! He’s loud and rowdy and he drinks to much and everyone know it!

thepleasureisguilty

* give Nadia a protective look and rest my arm on your shoulder* he is portia... * I look at you* and i wouldn't want it any other way

ask-a-slippery-boy

*Nadia simply looks amused. I am turning deeper red by the second. Portia is apparently more oblivious than I am. I clear my throat*

to be continued... 

[resilientreader]

1-98 for asks like we did a million years ago, I dare you

i knew the MOMENT i saw the notif in my inbox that it was gonna be YOU pulling this shit and i crossed my fingers when actually clicking, HOPING i wouldnt have to answer all 98, maybe you’ll be tame this time, but no! this is what you’re doing to me. and ykno what, Fine. u dare me and i Will do it. i hope u rb the asks post so i can do it to u too, tho

1. coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars

3. bubblegum

4. that smart student who always read instead of actually paying attention

5. soda from glass cups is the best

6. its hard to just Decide between all these styles so ill say which one applies to mine most, which i Gotta say has to b preppy even if i want like goth or grunge to b mixed in

7. headphones

8. good omens, fmab, castlevania, uhhhh. those are just the ones ive watched so far this summer

9. my grandparents’ home. which is kinda weird but i have a lot of summer memories there

10. i sucked at like Everything in p.e., there Was no best

11. leftovers

12. i cant choose a favorite playlist?? /some/ of them, tho, are soar my ethereal heart, neither here nor there, mountainside storms, and sync of my heartbeat. so like any of my more recent ones

13. lanyard

14. i had to google a list for this bc honestly i always eat just chocolates but i like starburst

15. fahrenheit 451 was a rly fun read. ray bradbury’s writing gave me inspo for metaphors and writing and such and it was rly nice

16. sprawled across one of those comfy armchairs where i can swing my legs over one arm n lay my head on the other one

17. my black converse

18. cool temperature and rain without storms, or a cloudy day that lets me take a nice walk

19. on my side if i can but on my back otherwise

20. on my laptop, in google docs, to be more specific

21. winnie the pooh

22. idk?? i try not to look to just one person for a source of “this is how i should be”, so i guess,,,, a mix of family members and then a couple like more famous ppl??? which would basically consist of one of my aunts, my dad, and jenna marbles, to keep my Brain Process for role model stuff simplified

23. i dunno if any of the habits i have are strange?? i bounce my right leg and my right hand kinda. like. shakes when im nervous. i cant rly think of anything else i do tho i Know i probably have other habits

24. amethyst or pyrite

25. ur really just assuming my memory is good enough for this but if i had to say, it’d be any popular song from 2009 specifically

26. hide in my room with a fan and ac

27. read with a blanket wrapped around me or smth

28. atlas: six by sleeping at last, flaws by bastille, atlas: five by sleeping at last, she by dodie, and neptune by sleeping at last. there are probably more/better ones but those are the first ones i found

29. listen. be open with me. talk with me. not to sound like that person, but sharing ur life secrets is a rly big ice breaker for me because it helps let me know i can trust u. but also idk im a really awkward person and can accidentally distance myself from ppl so when ppl notice theres smth up w me or even do the bare minimum of doing Their part to maintain a friendship, that’s always rad as shit when idk how to communicate what i need

30. my room, my high school’s auditorium, the local barnes and noble

31. black boots, black jeans, any button-up shirt that’ll match that combination OR a really cool sweatshirt

32. im a bad bitch, you cant kill me. road work ahead? uh, i sure hope it does. it is wednesday, my dudes! welcome to chili’s. i love you, bitch, and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.

33. probably “omg” or “oh my god”

34. sc johnson. a family company.

35. i dont even have one but on a good night like 10-11

36. the troll face memes

37. suitcases feel much more organized

38. lemonade

39. lemon cake

40. ummmmm....one time a tech/theatre kid left a paint can sitting out in the open accidentally and a person took a shit in it or smth then knocked over the can, spilled a bunch of paint, and tried to clean it up w a broom and proceeded to like snap the broom in half. then they ran away to leave the kids to clean it up the next day. i wasnt actually there for that but ive heard the story firsthand enough times to Know

41. my dad

42. jacket pockets

43. hoodie is what i wear, tho everything else is Very Good

44. lavender

45. fantasy, my dudes

46. this set of pjs i got for xmas w a soft tshirt and matching baggy flannel pants

47. colby jack

48. uhhh a banana?? i could probably give a better answer if i was more

49. i dont rly live by a quote or saying, i just Go for it

50. my sister has probably done smth before to like Break me

51. everything ever but mostly myself

52. arial

53. uhhh...kinda worn? my nails aren’t doin so good and i have a couple scratches and stuff that Still havent healed after a few weeks

54. get a move on

55. the ugly duckling

56. tradition is kinda vague but i like that it became tradition for me and my siblings to go to my grandparents’ home every summer

57. i think im still overcoming like everything ive been faced with ever

58. writing? listening, helping, giving advice. idk tbh like talents who?

59. "jesus christ, my dude”

60. a fantasy/comedy, or at least if its gonna be fantasy with death and stuff, it should be dope as fuck

61. "isn’t vulnerability the opposite of being in control?” from a webcomic called aerial magic. super simple but the entire scene leading up to it,,,,,so good

62. umm fuck! i dont kno whether favs r usually ones that i relate to or ones that i wanna b like but??? keith from voltron, jirou from bnha, chromedome and/or rewind from transformers/mtmte, sypha from castlevania, and jayfeather from warriors

63. planetary (go!) by mcr, the seed by aurora, hayloft by mother mother, the cup/halloween blues from relient k, choke by i dont know how but they found me

64. coolmath was THE shit

65. yes! two on my leg from a surgery i had to get to realign my femur, bc i snapped the bone in half

66. lavender, snowdrops, hibiscus

67. i dont really have any, mostly bc i have a hard time attaching like. That sorta meaning to just random objects, but i do still have a small teddy bear stashed safely away in my room from when i was a little babee

68. pickle-flavored pringles. disgusting. would not recommend

69. lions’ roars can be heard up to 5 miles away from the original source

70. right handed

71. horizontal stripes, i guess? there’s not much wrong with them but i just Never wear them

72. math

73. i dont usually eat /weird/ flavor combos, even tho ill eat basically anything, but i like ketchup in mac and cheese sometimes. or fries in shakes. chicken and waffles. stuff like that

74. 11

75. idek honestly, my memory is too bad

76. hashbrowns

77. i dont kno a Lot of plants off the top of my head other than the Basic ones but literally any flower in a windowsill is like bone apple teeth in my mind

78. sushi from a grocery store. publix taught me that grocery stores can, in fact, be trusted when needed

79. my school id photo

80. earth tones

81. fireflies

82. pc

83. writing

84. talk radio is nostalgic but podcasts are always more entertaining to actually listen to

84. polly pocket

85. mythology with a dash of fairytales

86. cupcakes, because of my dog’s name

87. abandonment

88. to grow unbreakable attachments with everyone i care very deeply about and grow into an old age with them, or something

89. i feel like answering this question totally honestly would hurt ppl’s feelings, but also i literally could think of like 4 people to put down for this and i’m bad at deciding, esp w smth like this, so. not to b vague but These People kno who they are

90. becoming a part of a certain website with a bad crowd and managing to pick out the good apples in such a rotten batch

91. boxes

92. lamps /and/ fairy lights

93. i dont rly have any but my parents call me hannah banana. that’s ab it, tho

94. fall/winter? it kinda is inconsistent because fall has bad weather in florida but winter is when like everything has Gone Wrong in life these past few years, but then fall has such a GOOD aesthetic and my birthday is in winter, so they’re pretty even rn

95. uhhh??? thats such a weird thing, to try and assign a ���favorite” app, but the only thing i could think to say would be spotify just bc i use it so much on my phone, even if the app itself isnt the greatest

96. i havent set one, actually, bc im lazy and havent found anything that’d fit

97. 2 and a half

98. the part where fish were learning that they could walk on land

[illfigureitoutasigoalong]

just gotta unpack some things lol

at first i was really reserved about moving but now I am leaning into it. its all i can think about really. the only thing that gives me pause is that my sister and i want to live in the same place but we have really different wants as far as an apartment is concerned. she wants to live in a trendy area with a modern apartment and pay a fortune for it. i want to live in a place twice the size, closer to work, and with a more traditional layout. we found a place we agreed on and i just hope it ends up being what we need.

but like another thing is lately i can’t tell if I am just extra sensible or practical or if she is just very naiive. for example: i broke down my income and budget and used that to determine how much rent I can afford. i told her this and its like a foreign concept. maybe it’s because i have always been kinda broke but i know exactly how much money i make, and when things are debited from my account. and just its so interesting how we grew up in the same house but so differently.

ok so for her:

she started working at old navy where her shifts were usually 4 hours. that meant that she would eat something at home before she left, and then pick something up on the way home. on the other end, i worked at papyrus and the shifts were 9 hours. therefore i had to eat something before i left and pack a lunch for my break. which meant that i had to go to the grocery store and pick things out and pack them and budget for that. i used to also bring snacks and stuff to school when i was a commuter so that i wouldnt always be spending my money. then when she started working at capone they have a cafeteria and she buys breakfast and lunch every single day. she packs lunch only when my mom made something for dinner and she took it as leftovers. i worked at a billion different places and i havent had a cafe until i worked at mck. and even then the cafe isnt great and i prefer my own food lol.

THEN we were talking about dating life. she literally will not date any guy who is not absolutely perfect in every way for her. i don’t know how to tell her that no one is going to be perfect for her. there are definitely deal breakers (like she doesnt want someone with kids, or someone who is married etc) but like not every one is going to have the same taste in music, or be comfortable enough to show the best parts of their personality on a first date. and i can’t really tell her this because she will get upset because i’ve dated people and she hasn’t and she will think i am being a dick. i promise i’m not i’m just trying to help!! and i have my own deal breakers too but also i get that people are just, idk, annoying sometimes. she’s like “i will never settle!!! i want someone who is tall with a beard, and very devoted to christianity, funny, smart, cool, a college grad, never annoying etc. i deserve it!!!!” and  she does! but also perhaps lower your expectations OR be willing to open your mind a little and realize that they may take a while to open up.

not only that but she will only consider dating men that she sees herself marrying. and plans to wait until marriage to have sex with him. in my experience you kinda have to feel different people out in order to know what you want. i dated people that were wrong for me, true, but now I know exactly what I want and what kinda things i can just let roll off my back. i didn’t even know what i didn’t want until i had it, lol. it’s one of those things she will just have to learn i guess.

i just feel like she is going to have a really rude awakening when she lives alone and it upsets me. i want her to learn but theres still a part of me that wants to just keep taking care of things for her. i don’t want her place to be gross or her friends/future boyfriend or whatever to think she’s slovenly. she doesn’t clean that well (like her bathroom will be kinda gross and she’s like idk why mama is cleaning my bathroom it’s fine! and it’s not fine at all). I’m not sure what happened but she doesn’t see the dirt in places. her room smells like feet and she doesn’t smell it? she can’t just eat cereal for every meal because eventually it will make her sick. whenever we go grocery shopping she literally does not know what to buy. like she buys 5 items because she can’t think of how to like, buy groceries in order to make dinner. i love her so so so much. i don’t want this to seem like i am shit talking her. I just want her to be successful and happy. i feel like somehow along the way i learned a lot of things from life and she just kind of coasted along and now she is going to have to learn those things at once later in life.

but also i just have been through a lot more than her. i don’t mean this is a rude way even though it sounds like it. and while it SUCKED it totally made me grow and learn and become a mature person. or at least more mature than i was before lol. i have health issues, which means that i know a lot about insurance and medication. i am gay which kinda led to my anxiety and depression so i know a lot about mental health and i am very self aware. i had a long string of shitty jobs with shitty pay, which means i know how to budget and how much things cost. i cook and clean and buy groceries so i understand the importance of those things and i don’t find them daunting.

anyway.

our air conditioning is out again. i want to kill someone. we always have this problem year after year, no matter where we are. i realize that living in an apartment may be scary or hard at times but right now i am definitely seeing the perks. random things i am excited for include: having my own kitchen and refrigerator!! ours is always packed and looks really messy and gross. knowing where my things are and finding them where i left them. especially the mail. my mom always moves things and then swears up and down she never saw them in the first place. getting a laser cutter! right now I don’t have anywhere to put it, so. having a clean space that stays clean OR being cluttered and not having anyone say anything about it. cooking weird food and not having to explain myself, sleeping shirtless, buying groceries only for myself, having leftovers, falling asleep on the couch, AS MANY NAPS AS I WANT! it’s gonna be so great. i hope like hell it actually happens.

[goddess-complex]

8/29: first day back, long ass personal journal entry

my first day back at school has been amazing. i procrasstinated packing (of course:P) so i was up all night stuffing suitcases and at some point, i put on a channel called METV cause it was playing an episode of alfred hitchcocks show and ended up losing the remote and spent several hours in a sleep deprived, early AM twilight zone of packing while weird old sitcoms kept playing?? like the facts of life, and this weird show about a teacher and the donna reed show and one show about a train?? a family who runs a hotel near a train? then at like 5 am i love lucy came on, by that point, i was practically delirious. but i went shopping with my mom and got shoes and wine and hair stuff and then came home, my brother made eggs and my sister made sausage and we just ate breakfast and i said bye to everyone and left with my dad. i was feeling a liiiittle sentimental and eating my leftover frozen cookie dough custard in the car but then i knocked out while we were in NYC and woke up in CT. getting to hartford and getting back to campus was actually so nice. 

unloading the first bags, i saw the CUTEST, TINIEST LITTLE CORGI PUPPY!!!! SHE WAS SO SMALL!! the guy walking her was a fuking angel or smthn idk and i was so happy to just pet her!! two of my roommates (the two im closest friends with sarah and matt) were home when i got there and we said hi and my dad helped me unpack. then my dad took me to walgreens to pick up some stuff (i realized i forgot my toothbrush and showercap while we were ten minutes away from home) and he gave me some money and left. its always a little sad, initially, being left without all of ur family?? like you know? even if they bug you, like, you spend so much time with them thats its a little disconcerting to suddenly be 2.5 hours away in another state without any of them. and im very attached to familiarity (taurus rising, cap moon!!!) so being at home where i spent 16 years of my life is very natural and comforting to me, idk. im trying to get over it a little, bc its limiting to me, i wish i felt as comfortable in new places as i do at home, anywayyy

i really love the apartment. we only have two folding chairs for living room furniture lol but we’re going shopping soon. the kitchen is full of food and appliances already cause everyone else moved in before me. theres two full bathrooms, the upstairs on has a tub! we have SO MUCH fucking closet space its amazing. im rooming with sarah and the room has 3 decent sized windows, plus one full floor to ceiling one near my bed! its cozy and it lets in a lot of light. we’re close to the campus market and subway and not at all far from the academic buildings, its like, perfect. i half-assed unpacked a little, my other roommates, ryan and chris came back and everything was just really chill.

 so then, sarah and matt were talking about smoking and our friend liam came through because he happened to see sarah through the window. so the 4 of us grinded up liams weed and made tea and just chilled listening music. theres this big ass bag of mini chocolates that i have eaten like 7 giant handfuls of. i hit up my bud guy, and went over to get a dub (a hugeee dub) and got lost trying to find his apt lol. i stopped to say hi to my drama club friends and find out THEY ALL LIVE 2 APARTMENTS DOWN FROM ME!! its literally 3 apartments in a row thats all my friends!!! i live so close to my favorite people on campus its so cool. 

but i got back and matt had gone to bed cause they have an early class. so me sarah and liam smoked in our room. then liam left, and sarah went to bed but my OTHER friend kaia came through! she dropped out to go to a community college but she lives near the school so shes on campus a lot. and ryan and chris were up, so i poured everyone huuuge glasses of the wine i brought and ryan gave me some mac and cheese and we just hung out. i was really obviously high but like it was ok?? theres so much freedom in the village (the dorms where i live) i love it, its amazing. so kaia brought her dog lilli and it was so fun. we ended up going outside to smoke a cig and drink boujie wine spritzers i made with like, 7up and white wine (which were surprisingly good?) and ran into some of my drama friends, (different) chris and katey. so 4 of us just sat outside and chatted then MORE people came by, a DIFFERENT liam who kaia’s good friends with and his gf jackie who i know from a club we have together. and this kid andrew from rugby. so liam invited us over to his to smoke (again!!) and we went and he had flavored papers and we just chilled with his roommates and smoked in his room. so im SLUMPED at this point, remember i only slept for like 2 hrs in the car, so i go back to mine with kaia and we hang out for a bit. she has work at 6am (shes like, the captain of a row team or smthn?? but she gets paid? idek) so its like 12 or 1 and shes gonna sleep for a bit over in our living room until she has to leave. so i went to bed. it was SUCH  good first day, i just KNOW its gonna set the tone for the year!

so today is the first official day of classes and i still have to finish/ (start) registering..... i dont have a schedule yet....i figure ill do it today and start tomorrow, which is only one day late, so its not that bad right?? lol. i mean i KNOW its bad, but the consequences aren’t dire, i just have to find classes that are still open, which i registered late last time and it wasnt so hard to find open classes. thats my dirty secret of the moment lol, i have NO CLASS. so today i woke up early a little weed hungover (foggy brained ugh) and its such cool, gray weather. its almost 10 am.

i had a cup of coffee and my adderall and when im done writing this, im gonna shower and wash my hair. then i have to go around to different spots on campus to ask if they’re hiring. hopefully ill get a couple job applications. then/or before that, i have to go to housing and get my apartment keys (they were closed yesterday) then i figure ill probably come back home, hit up some of my friends i havent seen yet, and do some more unpacking/ laundry. 

around 4, im gonna take my stuff and go to starbucks for lunch and register for classes. then ill probably do some quick food shopping at the campus store. i have 1000 dining dollars for the semester so thats about $250 food budget per month, which is cool. i also have 100 dining hall swipes, but im probably gonna save those for eating with people. i feel like all the bad things about last year are gone. like, living in an apartment is so much better than a dorm. i just like living with people i actually like, know and can talk to. vs my roommate last year who got really fucking weird like 3 weeks in and we dead just stopped talking at all to each other whateverrr though, its a new year! 

after shopping im probably gonna come back, finish unpacking/ decorating/laundry and find out dates and times for club meetings and auditions cause i missed the club fair.  kaia’s coming over later bc i left my ipad in her bag, so we’ll probably do something or at least smoke. i have a really fat dub lmaoo. kaia knows so many people she just always has something going on. its gonna be a good day and a good year im optimistic, but realistic!! im gonna MAKE it a good year

[angelatattum-blog]

logbook 27

Tuesday 13th June 2017

Today we worked on transitions and we ran the show a the end of the day, I felt my energy started of very good and I was very intrigued as to where this show would take us.

Hayden opening scene Megan seeing friends Salt shot lemon 1- Mesha's dare: 2- Angela's dare 3- Gabis dare excite my tongue 4- Toms dare nips 5- Megan's dare meerkat 6- Beth's dare fishy wishy 7- Meet George 3am 8- Friendship (growing with George) 9- Anthem and piñata 10- George is sick, George 2 text, rope dog 2, George 3 (?) (play piano) 11- Present day monologues (?) duologues

Salt shot lemon Come on guys lets practise this!!! I need you to join in! 1,2,3 Ok you guys got it now? You ready for this?! Hit it!! 1,2,3 go Salt shot lemon! Watch that bitterness change your expression Salt shot lemon I'm singing it loud so you'll deafen Salt shot lemon I'm tired of living in this depression Salt shot lemon! It lets me release my aggression Salt shot lemon! I'm using tequila as my weapon Salt shot lemon Your words are affecting me like venom Salt shot lemon Having fun is my obsession Salt shot lemon Your heart might stop, oh shit palpitation Salt shot lemon Fucking hell look at Evan

Mesha's dare (sea shanty) I run uncontrollably, over the hills and through the trees, I couldn't get in a taxi because I needed to vomit. Whahey gonna vomit x3, Ella's gonna vomit I see a cat and go to pet it, see a baby and smile at it, help a lady at her shopping and now they're soaked of vomit. Blugh blugh soaked in vomit x3, Now they're soaked in vomit On my way I saw queen lizzy, all this running made me thirsty, so she made me a cup of tea and now she's soaked in vomit. Blugh blugh soaked in vomit x3, Lizzie soaked in vomit Got to my house and found my keys, ran up the stairs so rapidly, into bathroom finally and passed out in my vomit. Passed out in her vomit x3  passed out in her vomit X1

Angela dare (country song). I'll tell you about a story back when I was 17 A dare to eat some cat poo well that dare was meant for me The cat had laid one on the ground the steam still rising off I took a sniff of the smelly shit and boy oh how I did cough Oh dear tibbles why'd you poo for me? And I had to eat this cat poo back when I was 17

I put the cat poo in my mouth my teeth come biting down I made a face as I got the taste and boy how I did frown I hoped it taste like chocolate with a thick consistency But if you'd ever eaten shit you'd know this couldn't be Oh dear tibbles why'd you poo for me? And I had to eat this cat poo back when I was 17

I wish I never got the poo and put in my chops My friends they all laughed at me their chuckles didn't stop The taste exploded in my mouth and it would not leave I've had this flavour in my mouth since I was 17 Juicy Lucy your legendary You proved your worth and ate that turd when you were 17.

Gabis dare excite my tongue Toms dare nips Megan's dare meerkat Beth's dare fishy wishy

George 1. Gabi: 3am Megan: I was warm and cosy. Tom: Through bonfire smoke he appeared. Beth: I was fucking wasted. Mesha: In the middle of nowhere. Tom: An industrial factory, abandoned. Angela: He looked abandoned. Everyone: Lost. Gabi: Just a dog really, nothing special. Mesha: I’ve never liked dogs. Angela: No way! I love dogs. Tom: He was so happy to see us, came right over Megan: A sausage dog Gabi: Skipping over Everyone: Everyone wanted a touch Beth: I was attacked by the/a dog. Mesha: He didn’t have a collar, Angela: Maybe we should search for his owner? Beth: I was bitten, I’ve got scars. Tom: He sat in the middle of our circle, Gabi: I kept expecting his owner to turn up Mesha: Pull us out of this strange, Megan: Wonderful Beth: Situation. Everyone: All eyes on him. Tom: He moves, I follow (everyone) Angela: He’s in charge now. Megan: We could take him in! Angela: Share him Tom: One day a week between us.. Gabi: It could work Megan: Yes Beth and Mesha: No Gabi and Tom: Perhaps Angela and Megan: Yes! Gabi: Majority rules Megan: Our foster dog. Angela: Our friend. Everyone: George Hayden: Welcome to the group

Growing up wth George

Anthem. Funny how the day turns around With a drink in hand and you're party bound Wednesday night Where else would we be We'll party all night just watch and see

Laughing and dancing all through the night Not a care in the world Not tonight Falling over and over again Cause the musics so loud we can't be still

Chorus x2 We're young and free Just dancing to beat All night until the suns up Living our lives so recklessly All night until our times up

Don't stop now the fun is just beginning We're all here, and we are all living Nothing can stop us No nothing will break us We're in it together We're here for each other

No distance between us will keep us away We're here tonight Yeah we're here to stay No matter the decision we gotta make We're keeping all our demons far at bay

Chorus x2 We're young and free Just dancing to beat All night until the suns up Living our lives so recklessly All night until our times up

Oh we're all falling apart Oh we don't want the fun to stop Oh decision oh decisions Can't we leave them til Twilight Oh decision oh decisions Can't we throw them out of our minds Oh we all have our own lives Oh but tonight we reunite Oh decisions oh decisions Can't we leave them til twilight Oh decisions oh decisions Can't we throw them out of our minds

Chorus x3 We're young and free Just dancing to beat All night until the suns up Living our lives so recklessly All night until our times up

Ok the piano I play c and g Then d and g Then next one ver 2 in the middle a Then c and next to g then back to the beginning again.

Piñata

George 2. Beth: George is sick. Megan: Once he’d clear a bowl of food in thirty seconds. Beth: Nowadays, he scarcely opens his mouth. Angela: Once he’d grin like a happy dog. Mesha: He would leave muddy paw prints on my lap, Beth: He would yip and yowl for attention. Tom: Nowadays he can only manage a weak growl. Gabi: George is sick. Beth: His eyes are sad. Beth: He can't stop crying. Mesha: He's doesn't understand what's happening to him. Tom: Why can't he run anymore? Beth: His stubby legs tremble with each step. Gabi: So he sleeps and dreams of old days. Angela: Leftovers of summer barbeques Tom: Shredding furniture and playing the fool. Megan: Being pampered every Tuesday. Angela and megan: Cuddles and TV in the evening. Beth: Nowadays, George wakes up in agony. Gabi: : We should have taken him to the vets! Angela: Lets give him plenty of water. Beth: He'll recover in no time!

How fucking awkward song* B: hi A: oh hi cal, haven't seen you in forever, how have you been since we were last together? B: yeah fine couldn't be better, why did I do this, this is awkward  as hell and it doesn't help she's drunk as well *fucking awkward again* A: oh good to hear, why did she come over she can see I'm not up for this chat B:how's the family? How's Dylan? I swear a really miss him and youuuu of course. *how fucking awkward* A: Dylan why did she mention him? Yeah things are good got married a couple of months ago. B: yeah saw it on Facebook saw Dannie as a bridesmaid and Even and your sisters best mates cousin. (Pictures of bridesmaid on the screen behind) *how fucking awkward* A: Your invitation must have got lost in the post, I was wondering why you weren't there! Ha ha ha (awkward) oh there's Even hi even, talk to you later. *how fucking awkward* says by Beth.

Angela's monologue When did my so called friends turn into monsters George may be old But that’s no reason to cut his life short. He's been my friend since I can remember Whereas Cal never gave any interest to him. And I bet that's why he's giving up.

George 3 Mesha: we have to show him mercy. Ang: Mercy? This is how you show merc- Meg: Mercy would be letting the little guy spend his days in the best way possible. Gab: i dont know about this Beth: we should do it Tom:  lets be rational about this Beth: we are Ang: hes sick but what gives us this right? Mesh: its .... Humane? Megan: youre all sick All: we are all ill Tom: if theres a virus you kill it i suppose Gabi: but he is our friend Ang: He's not a virus Beth: what good has he done for us? meg+tom: Loved us? ANG: Given us purpose Gabi: Kept us intertwined Mesh: You means trapped us BETH: We're stuck now TOM: It's still our decision, we still get to chose! Meg: There is no choice. We can't do This! Mesh: It's time to let go BETH: We have to ANG:+ meg (back and forth): Stop it BETH + MESHA: Do it