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noccalula-writes · 5 years ago

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What are your favorite games and franchises? Top 5?

OH BOY have I got feelings on this subject.

Please keep in mind - I’m a storyteller and a writer. I fucking /love/ a good story. I DM a DnD game and my biggest weakness is that I don’t often include enough combat because I am so much more interested in telling a story. So for me, there’s got to be an emotional investment for a game to really land. I also hyperfixate like a motherfucker so I often refuse to pick up new things purely because there’s not enough space in my head for them at the time, so I’m slow getting to things as they come out.

So, I’m first and foremost a survival horror bitch. I cut my teeth on Parasite Eve before I played any others - my mother scrimped and saved and fought her way through Wal-mart back in like 1998 to get me the original Playstation gaming console and Tekken 2 (which was my first PS game, I played it in an arcade near her barber shop as a child - Tomb Raider 2 was my second). The old Playstation discs at that time came with demos for different games, including Metal Gear Solid, which I replayed until I could have done it in my sleep because poverty meant I wasn’t likely to get another game anytime soon. I mention this because the Parasite Eve trailer used to give me nightmares but I was super, super hooked.

I am a huge Silent Hill fan. Huge. That is a tragedy I could write a whole ‘nother post about, because as excited as I am to finally get my hands on Death Stranding (again, poverty, so it’ll be another minute before we can get a PS4), we’ll never get another SH game again unless some major reconciliation happens with Kojima and Konami, which is unlikely (and also hard to hope for - I’m happy Kojima now has the creative freedom to go as balls to the wall as he wants).

I am an equally huge Resident Evil fan. I’ve always maintained that my first fandom was The X Files, but my wife pointed out a few nights ago that my RE love started around the same time in the late 90′s, so now it’s a chicken and egg kind of thing. Point being, it’s either The or One Of my longest lasting fandoms/interests. RE and Silent Hill get compared to one another a lot - RE7 did nothing to help that - but they really are apples and oranges to me. Fruit, sure, but two totally different tones and experiences.

I’ve been a huge Tomb Raider fan for forever - my first high school boyfriend was loaded and bought me Angel of Darkness to come play at his house and while it was def critically panned, I do recall enjoying it - so that’s been fun to get those games remade with updated graphics. I’ve only played the one but the others are def on The List.

So now that I’ve talked for an hour, my Top 5 fave games ever -

#1 - Resident Evil 3 I am beyond jazzed for this remake, and a lot of people in the 90′s complained about RE3′s lack of clear cut boss battles, but I don’t know what they’re talking about. The entire fucking game is a boss battle - Jill vs. Raccoon City, and of course, Nemesis, who used to give my mother nightmares and caused me to sleep with a leaf-stabber by my bed for years. Jill is far and away my favorite protagonist in RE; she’s got a resilience of the spirit that somehow isn’t conflated with naivety, which is uncommon in ‘nice’ female protags. She’s savvy but she’s still kind, and she’s committed as fuck to survival - not to mention, as zealotous a Chris and Jill shipper as I am, she and Carlos had hella chemistry and I’m excited to see where that goes (JD Pardo would have made a fuck of a Carlos Oliviera, btw). It was An Experience and it’s forever at my #1.

#2 - The Last of Us

There is no comparison for emotional weight in video games, as far as I’m concerned. SPOILERS if you don’t already know the ending (this game came out in what, 2014?) but to me one of the biggest thing in the game’s favor is that the protagonist made the wrong choice. He had an option to potentially eradicate the cordyceps fungus and maybe save the world, turn the tides back for humanity, and with the weight of the world in the balance, he chose to save Ellie instead. It was, on a global scale, the wrong choice - but it was the human choice. It was the thing that a dad who never properly grieved his dead daughter would do for the surrogate daughter he inherited by accident. As for Ellie, there is no other character quite like her in games, and she’s fucking quality LGBT representation, especially considering how little we see queer children in media. I still cry every time, we play this game twice a year like clockwork and every single time, I still cry.

#3 - Silent Hill 3

All of SH’s games will have a special place in my heart - and if you wanna talk shit about Downpour, I’ll meet you in the Denny’s parking lot at 11, you better square the fuck up because I will defend Murphy with fists - but 3 is the best, hands down. I felt like it did the best job of streamlining the series’ ... uhm... somewhat complicated lore into something more understandable. SPOILERS: The villains are horrific - the Missionaries strike fear into my heart every time I play, and Claudia eating a miscarried god fetus to become god herself? Fucked up on a level you rarely see. I suppose if you didn’t catch it in the last sentence - your protag Heather vomits up a fetal god late in the game. Yes, you read that right. The best thing about this game though? Heather. I could climb up my feminist soapbox and talk about Heather as a subversion to video game tropes all fucking day - she’s a nonsexualized teenage girl whose father is killed for her character development. She’s self-sufficient, tough but still vulnerable, and hard as nails in a fight. As I might have mentioned a time or six, she also voluntarily aborts a god because Fuck Your Plans, She’s Got Her Own.

#4 - Final Fantasy X

Listen. I don’t know how much of this is because of actually enjoying playing the game and how much of it is emotional attachment. As most of you who follow me know, my mother died when I was sixteen. When I was about fourteen, I dated a rich kid who used to bring his PS2 to our very not-rich house and play games for us to watch - the sort of neophyte version of Watching Guys Play Videogames, if you will, which is another rant for another time. He got a Gamecube specifically so I could play RE Zero and Hunter The Reckoning. He was a neckbeard but he was also desperate to keep me from ditching so he did the smart thing and plied my very poor ass with money and food. The #1 game in the watching roster, though, was FFX - and if you know anything about the game, you know how heavily spirituality features into the story. My mother, very caught up in a very Eastern Philosphy Meets Quantum Physics internal seeking about the nature of things, was hooked from the word Go. She used to sit and watch Trey play for hours - we all did, but having her join us and love it that much? Wonderful. Half my memories of this game are both of us crying - crying when Yuna dances to send the souls, crying when Yuna reveals she’s on a suicide mission, crying when she and Tidus fall in love anyway, crying when she sends her Aeons to die in the final fight, crying over ‘the fayts are waking up’, crying when the big reveal about Auron comes up, crying crying crying. My wife bought it in 2011 and I watched her play through it again and while it suffers from the same issue as all FF games - too much filler and weird battle scenarios - it was cathartic. I miss my mom.

#5 - Resident Evil 6

Eat my entire ass. You already knew this was coming. I will defend this game to my grave for the fact that we have complex, interesting narratives surrounding female characters who have actual personalities. Was it perfect? No. Did it take RE out of horror territory and move it more into action? Woefully, yes. Is this series deeply problematic for where it chooses to set down your mostly-white protags and have them kill their way through? Big time. Don’t gloss those facts. But it’s got emotional punch in spades and a few weird character breaks that ended up being kind of brilliant - Chris has been so resiliently relentless in his fight against bioterrorism that a major PTSD break was inevitable. Leon would of course risk life and limb to help Helena, even though she implicated herself in something terrible. The icing on the cake to me was a grown up Sherry Birkin, wide eyed and believing like hell in the fight she thought she was on the right side of and getting knocked down only to get back up. Ada’s entire side campaign was brilliant. I hate some of the control choices they made in this game - the running from the Haos scenes near the end of Chris and Piers’ campaign makes me want to eat my own fist - but so it goes with most RE games (until RE4, moving your protag was like driving a tank). Jake and Sherry are My Unsinkable Ship. There are at least six scenes across this game that never get easier to watch - when the bomb hits the city and the cut scene of the mass infections begin, I still get sick to my stomach - and that, to me, is the mark that this game struck a hell of a chord in terms of storytelling.

This was long.

#noccalula answers #this was fucking long #ask and ye shall receive #vidja games

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cosmiciaria · 6 years ago

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World of Final Fantasy Review! (Spoiler free)

I know the game is pretty old by now. It was released in October, 2016, before Final Fantasy XV wrecked the fandom. I've always wanted to give it a shot, but the apparent light-hearted approach didn't suit me well – so I waited for a decent discount in PSN, and I finally managed to get it in my hands! Disclaimer: this is a review of the vanilla version of the game. Saw there's a big expansion adding quite a a lot of stuff, including gameplay mechanics, so… either way, the game is quite enjoyable as it is, I don't deem an expansion necessary in my case to make me like the game more.

So yes, this is a GUD game. Even GUDER than I'd thought it would be. Like REALLY. Real good.

I'm not explaining myself. You see, this game seems made for younger generations. It was the result of the 30th Square Enix Anniversary, and it's the cocktail boiling in the cauldron every Final Fantasy fan wanted to have. It's a crossover, it's the perfect fanfiction across all the universes we've learned to love and care in this franchise. It's a love letter to fans, and I want to stress this idea, because… this game is great, is awesome, is moving, but only if you're an FF fan.

I mean, you'll still enjoy it for what it is, but… there are a thousand nods and references to the previous FF games that you won't get if you at least are not familiar with their premises. I, for instance, haven't played many of the mainline FF, including I, II, V and XI. I knew about their characters and some of its most characteristic thingies (like Gilgamesh being from FFV), so I still could get some of the references, but it's not the same.

It's not the same, because, like I said, this game is a love letter to fans. And it shows.

But – wait, are those chibis? Is this a children's game? What are you talking about? I know it's hard to take chibis seriously, but hear me out – this game is more serious than it seems at first sight. I expected nothing but RPG tropes and I did get many of those, but DUDE (pun intended) did I had a great (TRAGIC) time with those twists and turns!

So we follow Lann, a fifteen year old ginger boy who goes to work at his usual café. He doesn't seem to notice the Pokémon – I mean, the Mirage on his head, a cute white little fox that seems to defy the laws of gravity by gripping to his hair. In the café, Lann meets Enna Kros, a mysterious woman who asks for a very sugary coffee. Minutes later, we meet our other protagonist, Reynn, Lann's twin sister, who crashes into the place to tell her brother that there's nobody anywhere. Lann is like, hey, there's this woman over here, but truth be told… the neighborhood is empty.

So this woman, Enna Kros, introduces herself and tells them that she's a goddess of some sort (her nature is, eh, well, never fully explained and that's fine). She reveals they are in a place called Nine Wood Hills, a land that looks like it's stuck in time and space. Lann and Reynn had forgotten what the hell they're doing there, or who their parents were, or anything, so Enna Kros gives them (or more like, reminds them of) the Prismariums: the ability to imprism Mirages, like the little fox I mentioned, and bend them to their will. The purpose, she says, is to catch as many Mirages as they can, across Grymoire, the world she's the goddess of, and collect memories about their past. Then the little fox is introduced as Tama, a very important Mirage that is going to accompany the twins for the rest of the journey.

Off they go to Grymoire, and this is where the crossover starts: here people are tiny (chibis) called Lilikins; Reynn and Lann remain normally proportioned (Jiants), but they can turn into Lilikins whenever they want. Jiants had disappeared from this world a hundred years prior, so the twins kind of attract everyone's attention. This only feeds the mystery that shrouds this pair.

Grymoire is full of towns, regions and dungeons. Across all these places, the twins will irremediably come across the chibis we all know and love: the FF characters. Their storylines are so well intertwined that you forget that they belong to an original game, for their personalities and backgrounds fit this story very well. We have a Bahamutian Federation who's conquering everything in its stride, except for a few kingdoms that still fight against it. The League of S, the resistance group, wants to recruit as many people as they can, and it's up to the twins to help this insurgence grow. But this is not everything: it seems that in the Federation there's a prophecy, a Crimson Prophecy, that foretells the arrival of two Jiants twins who are Mirage Keepers…

The story gets more and more complex, until it reaches a point where I couldn't believe my eyes. And this was a game for "children"! But I won't spoil it for you. Instead, let's talk about the gameplay first!

I said Pokémon earlier – It's the closest approximation and I'm not lying. If you wanna be the very best, you gotta catch 'em all. Mirages will appear as your ordinary enemies in dungeons, and every first time you encounter one, Enna Kros will give you a new prismarium to imprism them in it. But to do this, you first have to create a prismunity: a chance that leaves the Mirage vulnerable to the imprism. This prisminuty is quite easy to achieve in the early levels, but they get more and more difficult and specific to attain as you progress. Each Mirage has an ability tree to develop, in which you'll spend SP points, and most Mirages have also evolutions (is it Pokémon enough yet??) that you'll be unlocking once the requirements are met.

Catching Mirages is not everything, though. Mirages are actually useful: you can equip them. Since we don't have equipment or ability tree for the twins, the Mirages are our only source of power, so their stats and their abilities become our own when we fight. Each twin in Jiant form can 'stack' on their heads a Medium and Small size Mirage, and in Lilikin form, they can stack on a Large Mirage and still have one Small Mirage on their heads. The stack becomes your shield in battle, and at first it looks ridiculous, but once you understand how it works, you can create MAGIC out of its mechanics. Careful because the tower you form can topple and your Mirages can fall from your character's head in a quite funny animation.

Twins don't have ability trees, I said. Well, that's partially true. You see, in the ability trees of the Mirages, every now and then you can come across a Mirajewel: this is the equivalent of a skill card in the Persona franchise – meaning that you can equip that Mirajewel into Lann or Reynn as you please. The Mirajewel doesn't lock to just one character, you can switch it between the twins as you like. The slots for these Mirajewels take a while to unlock, though, and it's related to the twins's levels.

Battles are your good old friend turn base combat. And it's great. IT'S GREAT. Like really. They can STILL do this and it's still loved, I don't know why people say that turn base combat is outdated and old fashioned. It's pretty slow paced, but fear not, because there's an ACCELERATOR button that lets you fast forward battles. Isn't it convenient? In fact, everything in this game is so convenient it makes me wanna cry: you wanna leave the dungeon? No prob, just use this unlimited teleport stone; wanna change your Mirages for others? Never fear, you have a save point every half hour. You wanna fast travel to this place? Nine Wood Hills got it covered for you. You're not enjoying this minigame? You can skip it and still advance in the main story! You kinda not dig this new menu we created for this game? Try the old style FF menu and play like you did in the old FF titles!

Really. Everything is there for you, at your disposal. The option to choose how and when you play is available, and it's kind of heart-warming they did this. I just wish every new FF could work like this one, on terms of gameplay! This game is SO Final Fantasy that I wanna cry a river.

Alright! Too much gameplay. What about characters?

Lann and Reynn are just hilarious. Their interactions are natural and casual: they truly make us believe they're twin brother and sister who deeply care for each other. Each of them has their own quirks, like Lann being quite slow, always saying "dude!" and protecting his sister at all costs; and Reynn being determined, direct and fearless, but also hiding her nervousness behind blurting trivia into the void whenever things seem to get nasty. There's one particular funny scene in the game where Reynn is angry with a Cactuar and she wants to, basically, punch it to death, which she can't, because Cactuars have their agility skyrocketed to high heaven more or less, and her hysteria is so relatable that you want to get yourself inside the screen and pat her on the head.

On that note, voice actors for the main protagonists were a delight. I was kind of surprised to discover that the guy who voices Lann also voices Shiro from Voltron: I couldn't recognize my favorite gay spaceship leader anywhere in this upbeat character, but there were moments where Lann became serious and angry, and damn, did that Shirogane emerge! All the other FF characters that we know have their original actors returning –not only that, but also we hear some characters from the older FF games that had never ever had, in any other media, voices. I swear my control almost fell to the floor when I heard Vivi f*cking SPEAK.

The FF characters remain in their personalities and they're never out of character. They bring about a thousand references from their original games, that are not forced at all. The script is clever enough to blend these moments inside the main story in such a way that you never see them coming, and more than once I was at the verge of tears, specially with Tidus and Yuna who belong to, I may very well say it now, my favorite Final Fantasy game (Oh I never wrote a review for FFX, even though I played like six times). I won't tell you, just play the game and discover these scenes for yourself. They make the game ten times more loveable. There are also instances of 4th wall breaking so beware yourself for a good laughter. Read the Mirage's Manual, I fully recommend it.

The game has all the RPG tropes you can ask for: the mandatory ice, fire and water levels, the really really bad guy you can tell he's bad because of his demoniac appearance bad villain bad oh bad he's bad because reasons, treasure chests, chocobos, cactuars, tomberris, flans, malboro menaces and anything you can expect from an FF game. But this isn't a copycat of previous installments. Towards the second half the game shows its true colors and we're faced with an original story, with huge twists that left me open mouthed, and you forget about the first few hours of the game that seemed taken straight out of any other FF, because, you know it, honk's got real. (Oh, btw, Lann used 'honk' every time he should've used the f-word, it was so funny, once he says 'shut the honk up' I'm cryinggG)

On the music department, I just couldn't really get into it. There were some boss fights that caught my attention but that's all there is to it. Nine Wood Hills background music gets under your skin after a while of continually listening to it, and sometimes it plays during important sequences, so I guess it's the most memorable piece of music. On the other hand, we have remixes of all those FF's themes we liked so much that play during certain characters' arcs and they may bring more than one tear to players' eyes (I did NOT cry when Suteki Da Ne started playing I did NOT). Visuals are nice and all – you can tell it had less production than, let's say, FFXV, its contemporary companion in release dates, but damn, some places were vivid and realistic! And lighting and shadows were real enough! And who cares about an anime appearance or chibi characters when everything SHINES and the story is good either way!

This game made me for some reason ship Cloud with absolutely everyone? What the honk?

All in all, this is a Final Fantasy game in all its glory, and it shines bright in many aspects I believe it was done even better than most of the newest games in the mainline. I just wished it had a more 'independent' story, in the sense of what I first mentioned: that this is a game for fans, that the experience would be very different if you haven't played the majority of the FF titles (and even some spin offs!). Still, the main story holds up well and at the end of the day, the main characters are the twins, not Cloud or Squall.

I do have one or two tiny complaints: there are some FF titles vanished to oblivion in this vanilla version. Firion from FFII only appears in the expansion and Balthier from FFXII, although he is a free dlc, he's not part of the story and he doesn't even have a page in the people's compendium, his appearance being the only silent presence of that title in the game. Also there's something spoilerish I wasn't really fond of – I'm just gonna say, without revealing anything, that I don't like how certain character was handled. And no, I'm not speaking about the masked woman. Anyway, that's all I can complain about, actually.

I think credit must be given where credit is due. And this game is due a lot of credit. For its amazing gameplay, giving us a taste of what we've been asking for years, and for the good use of the Extrauniverse to weave this story for us. Interactions between characters are a delight because of how well written they are. And there's a lot of post game content so, here I go, the route to platinum!

If you enjoy FF, then you'll love this game.

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johnkatier · 5 years ago

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(a chapter from a post kh3 au fic i have)

A week and a half after their departure from Radiant Garden Ventus sends him a picture of him, Aqua, and Terra smiling together along with an excited message that they’re finally heading back to The Land of Departure.

A week and a half after that, he gets another message, that simply says that he’ll be visiting, and bringing some along with him.

Sora wishes he could feel something other than something akin to grief when he looks at it.

Life on Destiny Islands is slow, placid, nice (boring), after everything they’ve been through. Kairi goes back like she’s never been gone, and compared to him and Riku she really hasn’t. She’s stronger than all the boys in class now though, and part of lunch time is a line of people trying to beat her at arm wrestling (they never do). She’s having the time of her life and Sora always feels happier just watching her.

Riku is slower, hesitant, looks at everyone from their parents to their friends as if they’re too fragile to touch. As if Riku’s going to hurt them just by existing. And Sora thought they’d gotten past that, that Riku had learned to not be afraid of himself. And he has gotten better, Sora watches Riku stop flinching when Tidus throws an arm around his shoulder, sees him start sharing that smile that he and Kairi see so frequently more freely.

Beneath this sky they grew up under for so many years, around these people that are as close as family, Sora sees them both thrive and be happy.

And Sora, Sora’s fine.

(He doesn’t feel an itch beneath his skin waking up every day and going to school, coming home. He doesn’t jump at shadows, doesn’t have to restrain himself from going too hard against his classmates during gym.

He doesn’t dream of the wind in his hair as soars through space in his glider, doesn’t dream of the blood pumping in his veins as he fights through a hoard of heartless, nobodies, unversed.

Sora doesn’t do any of these things, because he’s completely okay and happy exactly where he is.)

Which is why beneath that lingering sense of foreboding, Sora absolutely does not feel the thrill of something coming, of something exciting.

Because this is the life he fought for, and it’s all he needs.

“I’m going to Play Island today,” He tells Riku and Kairi as they head home from school.

Kairi tilts her head forward leaning over to face him, “By yourself?” She asks, confused, and Sora laughs.

“Ven is coming to visit, I told him I’d meet him there.” He says, carefully not mentioning that he’s bringing someone along with him. Sora has a feeling he knows who it is, and he’d rather not admit to that just yet.

“Oh,” She replies, brightening at the mention of the other, “Really? Do you want us to go with you? I’d really love to get to know him more.”

Sora laughs, scratching his chin, “Maybe later, don’t wanna overwhelm him you know!” Kairi pouts at that but relents, leaning back so she’s facing forward once again, reaching out to grab his hand in the same movement.

There’s silence for a while longer, and then it is Riku who speaks, soft but firm. “If you ever want to talk, Sora, you know you can tell us right?”

Sora startles, confused, and Kairi’s hand grips him harder. “Riku? What are you talking about?” He questions, turning his head to look at him.

Riku shrugs, “I’m just making sure you know. Tell Ventus we say hi, okay?”

“Of course,” he agrees after a beat, feeling just slightly off kilter.

Riku smiles, soft and tender, and Sora blushes despite himself. “Alright.”

The sun is setting by the time Sora sees the distinctive light of something arriving in their world. He stares up at it, watching it twinkle and bounce before crashing into the beach around him. He stands from his spot by the shore, dusting the sand from his clothes as he walks over to meet them.

He sees them before they notice him, a split second before they notice him but even that feels just a touch too much. Vanitas’ hand wrapped around Ventus’ shoulder, presumably for balance as they rode in on his glider. He pulls apart quickly once they land, crossing his arms, but Sora notices that despite that he doesn’t pull away from the other’s space.

He grins, speeding up to meet up with them. “Hey! Over here!” He calls, laughing when Ventus jumps in the middle of putting away his armour and glider, and then harder when Vanitas turns a scowl on him.

“Sora!” Ventus exclaims as he notices him, rushing to meet him halfway, and from behind him he sees Vanitas sigh, following behind at a much more leisurely pace.

Ventus just about catapults himself at Sora and he willingly goes down, both of them tumbling down into the sand. Sora has missed him, more than words can really describe. Perhaps it is the consequence of sheltering Ventus in his heart for what was basically his whole life up to know, but Sora has missed him dearly since they separated. It wasn’t something he noticed when they were still traveling together after Sora gave him back his heart, but there is a part of him that calls to the other. It’s nice to see him again, like pieces of a puzzle slotting together.

(He wonders if this is even a small portion of how they felt. His heart twists at the thought.)

“Get up. Stop being mushy, you’re both horrible together.” Vanitas’ voice calls from above them and he watches Ventus’ face darken, lips thinning. Sora laughs harder at that, and the two of them sign in unison.

Ventus pushes himself off and gets about halfway before Vanitas reaches down and pulls them both up with a huff.

“Can we just get this over with,” Vanitas says, and it’s then that Sora notices he’s no longer wearing the black coat Sora had always seen him in. Instead wearing something that reminds Sora of the outfit he wore after his yearlong sleep, if not in different colours. He wonders where they got it from.

“Shush, it’s been awhile, give me a moment.” Ventus scowls, waving a hand at him.

“It’s been 3 weeks.” Vanitas replies, sounding near appalled.

Sora clears his throat, interrupting whatever silly argument they were about to descend into.

“So, are you going to tell me?”

“Oh,” Ventus says, perking up even as Vanitas stiffens, “of course!”

And so he does, recounting the events that occurred on that battlefield, and then everything that’s happened since.

“And that’s where we’re at. I’ve tried explaining it to Aqua and Terra but they won’t listen. I know what he did was wrong, and I know personally how cruel Vanitas can be but they don’t… he didn’t…” Ventus sighs looking away, and from beside him Vanitas face twists. “It doesn’t help that despite everything me and Vanitas are still learning to get along. He’s er,” he laughs awkwardly,” irritating, you know.”

“And the feelings mutual,” Vanitas scoffs.

“But also not!” Ventus replies.

“… Right.” Vanitas says after a moment, looking just a tad flustered, and Sora manages to not let a laugh out at the expression.

“But what do you want me to do about it?” He asks, tilting his head. They wouldn’t have come all the way here just to tell him this.

“Well… The Land of Departure is kind of big, or at least big enough that for a while we were able to hide Vanitas in the tower. But then Aqua found him, reacted predictably, and Vanitas didn’t even consider not fighting back.”

“She’s one of the only people to actually make it a challenge,” Vanitas interrupts, not sounding apologetic in the least.

“Time and place.” Ventus hisses before shaking his head, “Regardless. That obviously didn’t go over well, and ever since then Vanitas hasn’t needed to hide but…”

“His friends hate me and it’s making the place real downer to be in.” Vanitas cuts in when Ventus’ pause drags on too long.

“Yeah…” Ventus agrees hesitantly. “So I was hoping that maybe you could take him in for a bit? Riku and Kairi might be a bit more accepting of him, they don’t have the personal experience at least. Or at least, anywhere would be better than the tower where…”

“Your friends keep glaring at me and Aqua has threatened to kill me at least three times.” Vanitas finishes with a wicked grin as Ventus shudders.

“That. I’m also hoping that maybe without Vanitas there I can at least get them to consider it.” Ventus says, looking so lost and forlorn for just a moment.

“They’re right to be wary, you know.” Vanitas says casually, and it’s Ventus who scowls this time.

“You’re not all bad!” He says forcefully, not quite a shout, “Just like I’m not all good, we’re just people… we’re just human.”

Silence settles between them, and neither Vanitas nor Ventus will look at each other.

“No problem,” Sora replies as the silence stretches, “I don’t think my mom will mind, and you’re both always welcome here, my home is your home!”

Ventus reaches forward, grabbing him and pulling him into a hug once again, “Sora thank you so much.” He says shakily, and Sora hopes he isn’t crying.

Ventus stays for a bit longer, but eventually has to bid them goodbye, he hadn’t actually told Aqua or Terra he was coming aside from leaving a note, so the two must be out of their mind with worry. He looks suitably terrified, a look that worsens when he notices both Sora and Vanitas are watching him with matching grins.

“Alright!” Sora says brightly as Ventus’ glider disappears into the stars above, “Let’s go home!”

Vanitas watches him for a moment, and then sighs, gesturing for him to lead the way.

Sora does, gladly.

His mother greets him with a smile, one that freezes for a moment when she sees Vanitas, before brightening up again.

“A friend,” She says calmly, already striding into the kitchen. Sora motions at Vanitas to close the door and then turns back to follow her.

“Yeah! He’s having some trouble over on his world, would it be alright if he stayed with us?”

She laughs, soft behind her palm, reaching up into the cupboards to grab some tea. “Your friends are always welcomed here, you know that. Stay as long as you like, ah, Sora you didn’t introduce him!”

“The names Vanitas,” He calls from the door, watching his mother warily as she puts water to boil.

His mother hums as she places cups around the table. “Oh that’s so long, can I call you Vani? It’s much cuter you know.”

Vanitas sputters at the statement, and his mother holds her placid smile for a few seconds before descending into laughter. Sora joins in and Vanitas looks between the two of them caught somewhere between annoyance and confusion.

“No need to fret Vanitas, I’m just kidding around.” His mother says as her laughter settles, turning back towards the cupboards to grab something, “Come, both of you, sit, we can have a small snack before bed.”

He shifts, scratching the back of his neck, “Oh mom that’s okay I’m sure Vanitas is tired.”

“Nonsense,” His mother says immediately, firmly, placing a tray of cookies on the table. “You promised you’d keep no more secrets, that you’d tell no more lies.”

“Yeah but –”

“And I think that involves telling me why you brought home a boy that looks just like my son, but darker.” She frowns. “Sadder.”

“Mom -”

“Tell me.” She says flatly, and the kettle whistles loudly into the silence that settles between them.

And so he does.

“I get it now.” Vanitas says as he throws open the door to Sora’s room, taking one look around before scowling and sitting crossed-legged on his bed.

“Get what?” He asks, moving over to his closet to get out the spare futon from his closet. They have a spare room, but it’s just full of random junk right now, he’ll have to clean it out soon.

Vanitas gestures vaguely at him, “I just get it. You’re mothers just like you.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He says cautiously.

“Too trusting, too kind, so willing to see the good in others.”

“That’s not a bad thing.” Sora says stubbornly. Sora’s no idiot, he knows some people can be beyond the point of redemption, Xehanort and Maleficent for example. But that doesn’t stop him from wanting to see the best in people, even after they’ve done wrong. Because everyone can have a good in them if they believe, if they look for it.

Vanitas speaks, Sora thinks, but it’s too quiet to hear.

“Did you say something?”

Vanitas stills, and then falls backwards onto Sora’s bed. “I’m going to sleep. Don’t bother me or you’ll regret it.”

He stays home from school the next day, and though his mother tuts she says nothing about his truancy. She helps him clean the guest room and they both say nothing of Vanitas watching them both silently from his place on the floor.

There’s a worried text from Ventus on his phone, asking if Vanitas settled in okay, if his mother was alright with everything, if he’d told Riku and Kairi yet. Sora answers each question patiently, and then tells Ventus to go talk to Aqua and Terra because Vanitas is perfectly safe here. His phone chimes immediately with a reply and Sora shakes his head, sending a disappointed face emoji at Ventus’ jumbled keysmash of a reply. While he’s at it, he texts Riku and Kairi to tell them to head to Play Island afterschool, and then drags Vanitas off.

There’s something he wants to do now that he has the time.

It had taken almost nothing to convince Vanitas to spar with him, which Sora appreciated.

“It won’t be spar.” Vanitas had said, already summoning his keyblade, “I won’t hold back so you better be prepared.”

He grinned, that was exactly what he had been hoping for, he thinks, as Vanitas sends another quick barrage of dark magic at him, followed by a swift hit from behind before Sora can even grasp his bearings.

He flips with the momentum, landing crouched on the beach but standing at least.

“Had enough?” Vanitas asks from where he had attacked him from, and even with the distance Sora can make out his smirk clear as day.

“Not even close,” Sora says with a grin and Vanitas eyes narrow, smirk sharpening.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Vanitas says as he warps out of view.

He shifts his grip on his keyblade, laughing despite himself.

Oh, it’s on.

(Sora won’t admit this (because it’s not true, he doesn’t, he doesn’t) but he hasn’t been able to settle right, not the way Riku and Kairi have. A part of him still yearns for something to fight, something to run after.

Sora’s been chasing something for so long that he doesn’t know what to do now that he can stay still.

Training isn’t enough, and neither is sparring. Kairi though strong and willing to fight doesn’t have the experience or stamina to keep going after awhile. Riku could but he always draws back after he decides is enough, isn’t willing to go far enough to scratch the itch of something Sora keeps looking for.

So sparring with Vanitas, who doesn’t so much as spar as much as fights. Like this is a real battle, like there’s actually something to lose.

Sora’s ashamed to say that he’s almost missed it, or felt something akin to that.)

“You’re just all kinds of fucked up aren’t you?” Vanitas says, both of them laying down in the sand panting after their fight. “Just like Ventus, just like me.”

Sora doesn’t reply, thinking instead that none of them really got out of this okay.

He sighs, closing his eyes and listening to the gentle crashing of the waves on the shore, and isn’t entirely sure when consciousness slips away as he falls asleep.

He awakes to yelling and he startles, jumping to attention immediately, keyblade summoned as he whirls around trying to spot the danger.

“What’s happening, is anyone hurt, I –”

“Sora!” Riku’s voice calls, cutting through his mini-tirade. He blinks, turning to see Riku standing a fair distance away his arm extended to block Kairi from approaching. He turns his head, seeing Vanitas seated crosslegged on the ground, chin in one hand. He shrugs when he sees Sora’s gaze on him, before rolling his eyes, and gesturing vaguely over at the two of them.

“Explanation time.” He says blithely, and Sora realises he has no idea what he’s supposed to say here? Did either of them ever even see him without the mask? Do they even recognise him?

“Sora what is he doing here?” Riku spits, enough venom in his voice to make it clear he knows exactly who’s sitting next to him. That answers that question.

“You know him?” Sora asks, idiotically, because for some reason that seems to be the most pressing concern to him.

Riku sighs, bringing one hand to his face, and Kairi pats his arm consolingly.

“Yes. We all saw his face during the battle, Ventus took off fighting before we could really process it but… you don’t forget that.” Riku replies, sounding just a bit pained at the end.

Kairi shifts turning to look at him, then Vanitas, and then back to him smiling cautiously. “Sora?”

He turns towards Vanitas, who raises an eyebrow, “Don’t look at me. This was that idiot Ventus’s idea, and you agreed.”

“It’s not what it looks like.” Sora says after a pause and both Riku and Kairi groan. “What!” He exclaims indignantly.

“It never is with you.” Riku says, somewhere between annoyed and fond.

Kairi laughs, “So tell us, we promise to listen!”

Vanitas mutters something under his breath, and Sora laughs hard enough that he reaches his arm out to hit him in the leg and Sora gasps, still snickering as he begins to explain.

It’s easier for them to understand, Sora thinks, because they don’t know Vanitas as personally as the Ventus, Aqua, and Terra do. Vanitas was just someone on the other side, someone else Xehanort took and twisted for his own needs. And just like the original members of the organization deserved a second chance, it’s easier for them to see that maybe Vanitas does to.

But they did not know him back then, neither did Sora, but he knows enough. Vanitas was cruel, uncaring, fought like he had nothing to lose uncaring of what happened as long as he came out on top, as long as someone other than him was hurting.

Vanitas was desperate, and like a cornered animal lashed out in anger and defiance.

Still, he doesn’t blame Aqua and Terra for their hesitance. Still, he hopes they eventually come around, for Ventus’ sake if nothing else.

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fytidus · 7 years ago

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I wrote a little thing for @scorch-xiv who wanted a fic involving Tidus + parenthood!

he’d reacted out of instinct, first, fully embracing the rush of emotions that gripped at his heart. the happiness & excitement took over, and he swept her into a big hug-- before thinking better of it, and gently putting a smiling Yuna back on her feet. “sorry– ‘guess I gotta be more careful now,” he explained. she laughed softly, and everything felt perfect and idyllic, for a moment…but that was then. the full gravity of her announcement didn’t hit him until the next day. his head, finally, caught up with his heart... her? him? a baby? this delicate little thing, relying on him for everything? fears and worries began to creep into his thoughts. what if he wasn’t ready to be a parent? what if Yuna thought so, too, but didn’t want to say it? what if he turned out like his dad, spurring the same volatile emotions from his kid that Jecht had him? he didn’t want to be that kind of family; he didn’t want that at all. Yuna hadn’t told anyone else yet– not even Lulu. the expecting parents were the only two to know, and when he rose from bed the next morning, Yuna was long gone. he wasn’t surprised, and couldn’t blame her. she was often up to an early start, tending to duties around town or in the temple. but her absence left him with no-one to talk out these insidious feelings of doubt that began to make his heart ache, and mind race. there was nothing he could do, but to push it down and keep trying to smile– like always. and like always, he went through his morning routine. (noting, in the back of his mind, that everything would be changing, soon. all the routines they knew so well…) his shoelaces were pulled taut, pushing that thought to the back of his mind, giving one last stretch before he set off on a morning jog. the fresh air, the cool breeze whipping past him– it was normally a good distraction. but today there was way too much on his mind for a mere run to expel the bad thoughts. dazed, and out of focus, he didn’t even notice the gaggle of children standing around in his path, juggling a blitzball between them. as he approached at top speed, a little boy let out a shrill cry of bloody murder, curling up in a ball as if the collision’s impact would destroy him. it was melodramatic, but enough to get Tidus’ previously absent attention. “whoa!” he skidded to a sideways halt in front of them, dust and dirt flying into the air as he came to stop mere inches from the boy. all the others had moved out of the way, though one had tripped in his haste and landed on the ground. Tidus grimaced at the sight, looking immediately apologetic. some parent he was going to be– he’d nearly knocked these poor kids out cold. “sorry! my bad! I didn’t see you there!” the fallen boy jumped up before Tidus could offer his hand to help him. he was adorned with a yellow bandana from the Aurochs’, and Tidus recognized him as Botta’s son: Obba. he laughed, smacking the cowering boy on the shoulder. “stop bein’ a crybaby, Junior! you sound like my baby sister! waah; waah!” (crybaby jokes, and baby jokes: two things Tidus didn’t want to hear right now.) when the dust settled, he realized it was the same three boys who were out almost every morning, practicing blitz. Obba, Keepa Junior (called Junior for short), and a little boy named Levin– this one with no relation to Aurochs, but just as much passion for blitz as the others. Levin poked Junior lightly, whispering under his breath. “don’t scream like that! it’s embarrassing!” the plump boy, built just like his dad, uncurled, looking up at Tidus tearfully. “s-sorry, Tidus. I didn’t mean to scream, ya? I just got a little scared… sorry!” innocent brown eyes blinked up at him in shame, and Tidus was having none of that. he’d been that kid one to many times growing up. but showing pity wasn’t going to help him any: it would just make things worse. instead, he came up with a plan. with a grin that belied the guilt he felt, he pat the boys head proudly. “don’t sweat it, Junior! you were just standing there to take the hit, right… ? you know, so nobody else got hurt?” sadly, Keepa began to shake his head. he wasn’t getting the hint. Tidus winked at him, urging him to play along. his eyes lit up. “o-oh! yeah! I was blocking! like your dad does, Obba!” Tidus shot him a thumbs up. “nice play, Junior!” Keepa’s boy was beaming. Tidus felt a lot better about almost tackling him, now. Obba considered this excuse, and decided he believed him, or at least, didn’t care enough to argue. he would go along with anything Tidus said, and had more important matters to worry about. he shrugged, picking up the blitzball he’d tripped over, and tossing it at Tidus, who caught it easily. “can you show us the Jecht Shot, Tidus? my dad keeps tryin’ to do it, but he always falls on his butt! I wanna learn it before he does!” Junion nodded enthusiastically in agreement, his troubles long forgotten, now that he had the Auroch’s star player’s approval. “me, too! my dad swears he knows how t’do it, so why won’t he show me? I think he’s lyin’!” Keepa? doing the Jecht Shot? Tidus had to laugh at that. “alright, alright! I’ll show ya how to do it! but you gotta promise not to share my secrets with your dads, okay?” as backed up a few paces to perform the shot for them (probably for the millionth time), he noticed Levin didn’t say anything, but stood back, watching with an expression of awe. he was less talkative than the other two, more shy and quiet. he was… kind of intense, for a little kid. he clung onto every word Tidus said– like how he’d scolded Junior for acting out in front of him– and every time he did a kick or a pass, he’d look back at Tidus, like he was expecting praise or something. of course, Tidus gave it to him; he didn’t to be like his dad. but it was… kind of weird, honestly. he wasn’t used to that level of adoration, and didn’t know what he did to deserve it. the other kids liked him, but not like that. he did the Jecht Shot once, and Obba and Junior cheered, urging him to do it again. (“’dust got in my eye! I couldn’t watch the whole thing!”) so he did it again. and again. and again. after seven shots, he realized this was going to go on all day if he let it. (well, at least he got in his cardio for the morning.) “okay, guys– seriously! I think you got it by now! give it a try yourself.” he tossed the ball back at them, laughing, and Junior let out a sad ‘aww’. Obba reached to catch it, but Levin rushed forward, grabbing it before his friend. his face was serious, and intent. “let me try.” everyone stood back to give him room. he kicked the ball, bouncing it off a tree, and it came back to him at just the right height– an already pretty big feat, for such a young kid. then, he hit it back successfully with a punch, just like the shot. Junior ‘oohed’ in surprise. the ball bounced and shot up into the air, and Tidus’ eyes widened. for a kid, that was hard. Levin leaped up, doing a spin… his small foot kicked out into the air, andddd… he missed the ball, by just a few milliseconds, crashing to the floor in defeat. Junior let out the breathe he was holding with a long sigh of disappointment, and Obba winced with secondhand pain. but Tidus had no such reaction; he was impressed! (he’d never seen a kid do a jump like that!) oh, and concerned– that should be the primary emotion, for a responsible adult about to have a baby, he reminded himself. it wasn’t a far fall from where the boy jumped, but he wasn’t moving. he jogged over to Levin, crouching down. “hey, are you okay-- ?!” Levin shook his head, rolling over on his side so that his mentor couldn’t see his face. Tidus he felt the crushing weight of his own irresponsibility. why did he ask a bunch of kids to do a dangerous trick shot–?! now Levin was hurt, and it was all his fault. “oh, man– what happened? what’d you hurt–?” he reached to touch the boy’s shoulder, trying to calm him down, but Levin jerked away. and then, in a flash, he was up on his feet, taking off running, as if he wasn’t injured at all. he shouted out as he ran, not looking back. “leave me alone! don’t look at me!” “wha–” Tidus watched in disbelief for a moment, then glanced back at the other boys, who were staring. one blank face (Obba, jealous of the attention Levin was getting) and one worried one (Junior). “what did I do?” he asked, hoping the boys would understand someone their own age better than he did. Obba shrugged. Junior made incoherent screechy noises of panic. Tidus realized, then, he was asking literal children for advice. wasn’t he supposed to be the adult here? giving out a frustrated cry, he jumped to his feet, taking off after Levin, who was almost out of sight by this time. “Levin! wait!” Levin didn’t seem to hear him, and his headstart had given him an advantage. plus, the boy was astoundingly fast, for being so small. but suddenly, he took a sharp turn off the path, stopping abruptly at the edge of the cliffside. Tidus felt his heart drop, somehow knowing what he was going to do before he did. sure enough, scrawny legs leapt off the side. Tidus couldn’t remember the last time he ran so fast. when he reached the side of the cliff, his heart resumed a steady rate. of course– that’s where he went. a grassy rock formation jutted out beneath them, leading to Besaid’s waterfall. that’s where Levin had dropped, and he watched as the boy darted behind a curtain of falling water, and didn’t emerge. with a sigh of relief, he hopped down, and followed the boy’s footsteps. but just as he reached the waterfall, he stopped, doubt gripping him. something had obviously upset Levin. and after that marathon run the boy made, he didn’t think it was an injury. maybe he’d made him mad? he wasn’t exactly the best with kids, and their complicated emotional stuff… one of the pitfalls of having a dad like his, he guessed. was he really equipped to go in there and handle this? he’d probably be better off getting someone else… like Yuna. or Lulu. they were good at this stuff… he considered it for a moment, before deciding it had to be him. Levin listened to him… for some reason. taking a deep breathe, and mentally steeling himself, he crossed through the water, drenching himself in the process, of course, but it didn’t bother him: being a Besaid native meant being water-logged, more often than not. Levin was sitting with bent legs pressed to his chest, head resting on his knees. he darted to see who had followed him with angry eyes– which widened, softening into something else (fear?) when they found out. “Tidus? what are you doing here?” he found himself stumbling for an answer. what was he doing here? “well… you… ran off! I had to make sure you’re okay!” “I’m fine! go away!” the anger had returned, but it was less hot, and more defiant. he wiped at his eyes quickly, and if he didn’t know any better, Tidus might think if was because of the waterfall, and the dripping of water in the little cavern it made. but he did know better… he knew what crying eyes looked like when he saw them. the adrenaline from their little chase was wearing off, and a heavy coat of exhaustion covered him. he hadn’t had to run with such purpose since the pilgrimage, probably! he flopped down next to Levin, but far enough to give him space. he remembered what it was like, being that age… he didn’t exactly want people up in his face when he was crying. Auron had always understood that, and he’d appreciated it. now, he wanted to do the same for someone else. “look, Levin… I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have made you do that shot. it’s really dangerous, and… you could’ve gotten hurt.” a sniffle, but no answer. he looked away, resting his chin back on his hands, refusing to look at Tidus. “but… if it makes you feel any better, you did an awesome job. ‘way better than I did at your age!“ Levin turned his head slowly, glancing at Tidus out of the corner of his eye. “no I didn’t. I fell. and I didn’t even finish it.” he sounded mad, but that’s when Tidus realized… Levin wasn’t mad at him; he was mad at himself. which was crazy. “–wha–? no– Levin, trust me! I couldn’t even get that far until I was like, 15! you did better than half the Auroch’s, and they’re, like, four times your age!” okay, that was overshooting it; they weren’t that old. but it probably seemed like they were, to a kid his age. in fact, he bet he seemed old to Levin. (wait… was he old?) his off-topic pondering was interrupted by Levin’s incredulous blink. “… you think I did good?” “good? you were great!” the boy unfolded himself from his closed-off posture, his teary eyes staring at Tidus in disbelief. “I thought I looked stupid.” “nah. even my dad would say you looked cool– and every time I did that trick, he told me I looked like a ballerina, not a blitzer.” Levin was interested now, sitting up straight. “your dad?” “he’s the one who made that shot up. you know how it’s called ‘the Jecht Shot’? … yeah. he’s Jecht.” Tidus realized, in retrospect, that Levin might know him as a guardian, not a blitzer, but the boy was so young that the name seemed not to have registered in him at all. either he wasn’t interested in his history lessons, or nobody bothered to teach their kids about guardians anymore. after all, they were kinda obsolete now… “what was he like? was he like you?” “…only if I’m a huge jerk,” Tidus replied, with a laugh. that was a nice, kid friendly way of putting it. Levin shook his head, humorlessly. “you’re not a huge jerk.” Tidus looked at him, and laughed, a little embarrassed. it had been a rhetorical statement, but Levin took it seriously. he took everything seriously. “oh– uh… thanks.” he was, though, pleased that things had turned out pretty okay. Levin wasn’t injured: just a little too hard on himself. it made Levin determined. maybe a little too determined. in that sense, he reminded him of himself. he hoped that didn’t mean he had a jerk father at home, too... “what about you? what’s your old man like?” Levin turned away, ripping a plant out of a crack in the floor, and tossing it. “gone.” “oh… I’m sorry.” another family broken apart by Sin, Tidus figured. but Levin proved him wrong. “he’s not dead: everybody always thinks he’s dead. but he’s not dead. he left.” Tidus turned to him quickly, in surprise. they were dark words, for a kid his age. “uh… you’re sure? maybe he’s just… lost.” it was a stupid thing to say– he knew that. but he had wondered, sometimes, as a child, that maybe Jecht had left his family by choice, not by some involuntary accident– not death. he’d been proven wrong. maybe Levin would be, too. “no, he left me and mom. he took a ferry and never came back.” the words stuck his heart. no child– no kid– should ever have to experience that, let alone be aware of it. “oh… I’m really sorry, Levin.” what else could he say? there weren’t any words to make that better. it really put into perspective his own fortune, in some ways. he put a hand to the boy’s shoulder, hoping to offer some small comfort. “’sounds like your dad was a huge jerk, too. but, you know what? you’re better off without him!” “yeah…” Levin gave a soft nod, glancing over at Tidus’ hand on his shoulder. “I wish you were my dad.” his face contorted from sympathy to shock, pulling back slightly in surprise. “uh… what? me?” “yeah... you’d make a way better dad than mine.” Levin stood up, seemingly feeling much better. Tidus couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen the boy smile– maybe once or twice, when he did a really good job of a blitz move, and Tidus told him so. but now, he was smiling like never before. “I’m gonna go back to practice now.” still stunned, Tidus barely managed to assemble a reply. “uh– yeah. yeah– you do that! you’ll get the hang of it in no time.” Levin gave a quick, obedient bow of his head to Tidus. “you’ll see. you’re gonna be proud of me!” he gave a fist pump– a familiar sight, which Tidus realized, in delay, that Levin had learned from him. (it looked a lot dorkier now that he was seeing it in a third person.) and then he took off, out of the waterfall. long after the boy had left, he sat in a daze, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened. with the hectic events that unfolded, he’d almost forgotten how his morning had started: with his jitters, and consternation, about parenthood, and what it was made up of, and if he was made for it… but it had all come full circle. he had come here with the intenion of helping Levin, but unexpectedly, Levin helped him. because of one little boy’s belief in him, he believed that maybe, just maybe, there was hope for him yet… he could make this ‘father figure’ thing work. but somehow, that didn’t really matter. he barely thought of the boon that Levin’s admiration brought to his mood. the only thing that went through his mind was a newfound resolve to help him achieve his goal: to help Levin master the Jecht Shot. better yet, to make sure the kid knew that he really did make him proud, whether he managed the shot or not. that was what became really, truly important to him– more than his own self-interest… and that was the day he understood, for the first time, what it meant to be a parent.

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straane · 7 years ago

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Motherworld (Ch.4/?)

Title: Motherworld

Author: strane-stelle

Fandom: Final Fantasy X

Central characters: Tidus

Rating: 12+

Chapters: 4/? Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Word count: 2172

Summary: “The fayth said it’s pointless to keep dreaming. The dream will disappear, he said. What did he mean?” After a long journey, Tidus finally gets to go home.

Warnings: Ton of OCs; drug references; mild implicit violence and some explicit, also mild

Other comments: credit goes to @shuyiin for the idea.(or virtually the star player himself @leviathkand)

Chapter 4 – Grateful

"Spira? Spira, as in...?"

Spira, as in the most miraculous place Tidus had ever known; and the most wretched. Spira, as in the tranquil waves washing over the smooth, hot sand; the long-fallen towers gazing wearily over the shore. Spira, as in men turning their heads away from the dance and picking up their hammers; children crying over the remains of their homes. Spira, as in pyreflies gathering over the rivers at nightfall.

Spira, as in a single searing tear rippling on the surface before dissolving into the cold, thick water. Spira, as in Yuna.

Spira, as in the truth; the harrowing truth.

"Spira, as in..." Tidus stuttered. Edge was still holding him by the collar, and a layer of his skin as well; and nobody could quite bring themselves to defend him any more than he could bring himself. Perhaps nobody wanted to. The undercurrents were still swirling wildly from the confrontation; and suddenly felt chilly to the bone, even against Tidus's water-resistant uniform.

"Tidus," Teri ventured to ask, "did you have something to do with... what happened?"

Tidus had no idea how to answer. Did he? Probably.

"...Guys, I don't know what happened, but I--"

Before he could finish, everyone suddenly turned their heads as the waters shifted directions again; in the wake of a swimmer making towards the team with strong, seasoned pulls and pushes. Tidus had barely recognized the distorted underwater image of his agent, before Leo had already separated him from his assailant with a violent smack; followed with another one for good measure; grabbed Tidus by the arm, and dragged him along towards the gate.

"H-hey, Leo, wait!"

"You don't have the authority!" Edge screeched after them, but only one of them was wearing the required machinery to hear him. Leo, in the midst of all his evident perturbation, even made a mockingly confused gesture upon hearing from Tidus's earphones what must have amounted to distant mutter.

Nobody gave chase; perhaps nobody wanted to.

A consistent stream of profanities washed over Tidus as he was being towed through the corridors by one rather distressed sports agent. Still unsure as to the benevolent intentions behind the action, Tidus tried to wriggle his arm free, but to no avail – Leo had done some serious swimming in his day. And what was the point of Bern, again?

"Leo, please -- I can explain -- or at least, I think I can --"

"Shut up. Just... shut up."

At long last, Leo stopped when they reached the office segment of the building; at what looked like the most unexciting door in the hallway. He wrestled with some keys for a moment, then got tired, cursed, and kicked the door open; to Tidus's mild amazement. He gestured towards the inside, suddenly in a very devil-may-care fashion, letting go of his protégé, finally; and granting him the choice whether or not to follow him. Besides agitation and fresh indifference, there was something else about his manner – something vulnerable; almost sad. Tidus nodded at his agent knowingly before entering – even though at this point, he doubted whether he truly knew anything at all.

Miraculously, the door was still unbroken enough to close. The air in the room was extremely stuffy, and the furniture was composed of nothing besides a shabby desk, two bookshelves (oddly enough stacked with relevant-looking titles), a moth-eaten carpet with the tacky retro Abes logo, a flickering holographic poster of Jecht, and random pieces of blitz gear and field equipment scattered around. Tidus's two guesses were either a forsaken storeroom or Bern's very current office.

“We don't have much time," Leo declared, circling the room; back to neurotic and vaguely aggressive. "Hirans'll be here any minute now."

"Wh-- wait a minute-- he's coming?" Tidus spluttered, sidetracking into indignantly wondering why no one ever told him anything. The last he'd seen of the rich buffoon, he'd showed up at a pre-Jecht Memorial Cup charity match, to get Tidus to sign a contract allowing him to sell either action figures or blitzball cards – his memory failed him here, he'd stopped collecting both when the fifth edition of the Jecht Superior series had hit the stores. He'd grudgingly signed, but Nella had not let their 'coach' off the hook so easily – she had pestered him for some game pointers and diet advice, and even opened up about some very imaginary women's troubles. Just thinking about it, Tidus still wanted to howl with laughter – and right now, cry. Cry like he finally had a good enough reason – for a very gloomy thought was looming larger and larger in the back of his mind.

"Yeah, yeah!" Leo barked in reply. "To discuss your future with the team, the entire board are on their way! It was all going fine and dandy with the evaluation until... well, you know." Tidus had never seen Leo so discomposed. It almost looked as though he was bursting out of himself, eyes first. "That happened."

"Listen," Tidus desperately began an explanation he had no idea how to accomplish, "I don't know what's going on, but--"

"I think you do, kid!" Leo fumed, now absolutely livid. Tidus's eyes grew wide at the extreme reaction, but even as he took a step back, he could tell – against his better judgement – that the agent meant no harm. And that – somehow – he was supposed to be here, at this very moment, having this very conversation with him. Even if Leo himself seemed to disagree, "On a side-note, where's your goddamn self-preservation instinct? That blasted press conference, not even trying to stand up for yourself just now... never mind getting kicked off the team, they would've--"

Tidus couldn't quite get the point of changing the subject and cut him short, "Leo, I know you don't wanna hear this, but I think those fiends are connected to Spira."

Tidus was going to try to give another shot at the ‘Spira, as in’ game, until he remembered that he had, in fact, told Leo everything – almost everything – and it was a miracle he had listened. And never in a million years could he have predicted what the man – who had grown oddly calm at his response – would say next.

"You think... we're all connected to Spira, don't you?"

Tidus froze completely. It was a borderline surreal sight – the way Leo looked as he uttered those words; confident in his assumption, yet confused and scared of his wits. And the words struck him like lightning from a clear sky – unexpected; even absurd, but undeniably powerful. "You said,” Leo impatiently continued, “Spira has its own Zanarkand, one that's been long destroyed. Well... what does that mean for us? Are we... are we long destroyed, too?"

Tidus could hardly believe what he was hearing, and was sorely out of answers. It was then that the notion; the one skulking in the back of his mind; finally registered: a truly horrifying scenario. He finally did have a good enough reason.

"Leo," Tidus began, a sweeping finger instinctively reaching towards his cheek, although his eyes were only dampening. "What if," he was almost shouting as the first droplet fell, "what if she went to the Farplane, Leo?!"

For some reason, Leo did not seem to require further elaboration.

"They told me... we were all just dreams. The fayth said... it's pointless to keep dreaming. The dream will disappear, they said. But the thing is..." No amount of wiping could help him at this point. "It was supposed to be me! I was supposed to disappear! I was going to go to the Farplane, I should... I should be nothing but a bundle of pyreflies by now!"

Leo was silent.

"And of course, I knew," Tidus went on, choking at every breath, "that you... my, my team... everyone here... that all of you guys-- the rest of the city-- that it would all fade as well, I knew! They told me my father... my mother, everyone; that we were all just dreams. That we would all disappear. Should I have... should I have been more sorry, should I have pitied you all more? Maybe... maybe I was too busy pitying myself, and this is how they punish me. By taking-- instead of--"

Drying his face, hands and chest on the top of his uniform, Tidus momentarily pulled himself together. "But-- why-- how-- since when have you believed me about Spira, anyway? What if... what if that was all smoke and mirrors just now, what if I'm... y'know... using?"

"You're not," Leo shook his head, "if you were, I'd know."

"What do you mean, you'd--"

"'Cause I was!" Leo snapped back, suddenly shouting again. "And old Niel took the blame! Said he was gonna retire anyway, blah blah, I was young and I had so much promise, that dense old fart! He almost killed himself with that stunt, 'cause it 'had to look real'! I didn't even make it to the game where he 'got caught', I was so... blitzed! And kid, I can tell you're just going through the motions, but you're-- believe me, if you were pulling what I was, I'd know!"

Tidus stared at him, wide-mouthed. But it added up. Even if it forever changed his perception of Leo; the former pro-blitzer who'd abruptly quit a steady career, citing a ‘desire to pursue other interests’.

"I think Bern believes you too, you know," Leo continued. "He followed you to your house the other day, after you tried to ditch him. And he saw... it, too. Of course, he thought it was just a--- but he told me, and I thought it was just a--" Leo made a long pause, and Tidus studied him; this new bizarre version of a person he thought he'd known annoyingly well. Leo held up his both hands in concentration as he stared into nothingness and spoke, "...Sometimes, I can feel it. It's like gravity. Like I'm... like we're being pulled. Not pulled down... but up. Pulled up... into existence."

Tidus had always felt it. He could still feel it.

"And I feel," Leo added, with a sudden sense of finality, "grateful."

He raised his eyes and they exchanged somber looks. And that's when, with a strident echo; the door hit the wall once more and they both jumped.

"See? I told you."

Apparently, someone had given chase; and had some impressive tracking skills, too. It was, of course, Edge; and Arret, by the looks of it – the self-righteous senior player had always had the somewhat impressionable goalkeeper under his thumb. The three other pursuers; Frion, Riona, and Leno; were standing in the back, still seemingly making up their minds about whom they were pursuing (but certainly doing their share in blocking the exit). Teri wasn't with the group.

"Where's... where's Teri?" Tidus demanded as he observed the fact, fearing the worst for a second.

"Seems to think Nella died of natural causes," Edge replied nonchalantly, with the air of a fearless justice-campaigning hero, "and who cares?"

"Died?" Tidus echoed, fearing a new kind of worst. But judging by Edge's dismissive reaction, he was just being metaphorical – or speculative. Leo tried to extend a protective arm in front of Tidus as he stepped forward from the back, but Tidus wouldn't let him. For the first time since his return, he felt far better-equipped to handle a situation than one of his babysitters.

"We just want to know what happened to Nella," Edge pleaded with him with faux civility. Tidus surveyed him for a moment. Something told him that asking whether he felt a "pull" or introducing the concept of the Farplane were not good negotiation strategies.

Suddenly something jumped out to him. It was the blitzball that Edge was carrying on one arm and hiding partially behind his back. Tidus had never seen anything like it – in this life. But he had in another. The ball had spikes on it.

"Edge... where did you get that blitzball?"

"Oh, this?" He spun the lethal instrument on his finger. "Found it in the changing room."

Tidus narrowed his eyes in disbelief. First fiends – and now objects from the other side?

“Relax," Edge scoffed. "I'll just be holding onto this until the police get here. Oh, and I sent Hirans away, hope you don't mind."

Tidus was starting to think perhaps Hirans was no longer a corporeal part of this world, either; what with his track record of showing up. He was also starting to get tired of this conversation. Perceiving something in his peripheral vision, Tidus quickly peered to his side and made an even quicker decision: it was time to go. He gave a slight shrug as he shot Edge an apologetic glance.

Arret seemed to notice he was up to something, and opened his mouth, but too late. With one well-timed acrobatic motion, Tidus brought his hands to the floor, kicked his legs over his body and flung himself sideways across the room and right past Leo's ineffectual safeguarding attempts; sticking a perfect landing on the desired spot, before diving headfirst for two retired pieces of crossbar on the floor, and tossing one into Leo's very reactive arms.

"A gift from me! I hope you know how to use it!"

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straane · 7 years ago

Text

Motherworld (Ch.5/?)

Title: Motherworld

Author: strane-stelle

Fandom: Final Fantasy X

Central characters: Tidus

Rating: 12+

Chapters: 5/? Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 6

Word count: 2597

Summary: “The fayth said it’s pointless to keep dreaming. The dream will disappear, he said. What did he mean?” After a long journey, Tidus finally gets to go home.

Warnings: pretty much the same ones apply

Other comments: credit goes to @shuyiin for the idea.(or virtually the star player himself @leviathkand)

Chapter 5 – The Dark Canvas

”So what's with the fiends?”

”Well, you have a lot in common with them, do you not? You both inhabit a world where you no longer belong. Lingering in the field after the whistle has been blown, shooting over and over into an empty goal...”

”Well, I tried my best, didn't I? With the disappearing? And sports metaphors really aren't your strong suit, no offense.”

”None taken.”

”What I'm saying is, I had accepted my fate. You can't just compare me to a fiend!”

”Yes, you had. And besides that... there is another big difference between you and a fiend.”

”And that is?”

”Only one of you died.”

It indeed seemed that Edge had only prepared for empty threats and nothing else. He watched in total stupefaction, the deadly borrowed weapon barely shifting in his hold; as his adversary soared across the room, fast as a sure-fire goal; and said adversary was only warming up. After tossing an improvised sword to his agent; Tidus proceeded to throw his own into the air; above his head for an artistic swirl, to finally seize it into one well-balanced and well-routinized hand. Leo, at his side, settled for a less extravagant battle stance.

Curiously; Tidus observed as he tightened his clasp of the slippery grip and tilted the very blunt edge; the crossbar chunk even seemed to weigh the exact same amount as Brotherhood had. There was an immediate familiarity about that sensation – even if the makeshift edition didn't look nearly as neat, was not so comfortable to hold, or would hardly be so quick to complement his nimble movements. But something about it just felt right; and not in the sense one might have imagined – in a blood-lusting sort of way – challenging a teammate to combat was not how he’d planned to spend this afternoon.

Riona and Leno had seen enough, and fled on the spot. Frion still seemed to be picking a side, but had not expected to do so in an actual fight. And neither had Arret, even if his misguided loyalties still lay with Edge, and his place firmly in the doorway.

”That's usually my victory sign,” Tidus explained the flamboyant display,”Take that as a hint, will ya?”

”Usually,” Edge retorted, having regained full speaking ability and at least the veneer of confidence. Arret was having qualms – he had not signed up for these theatricalities. Frion graciously excused himself.

”I don't want to fight you, Edge,” Tidus assured him, shooting a weighty glance to Leo; as though to clarify the emergency protocol. “And you really don't wanna fight me. It's not even something we do around here, you know – fight?”

Tidus wondered if that was it – why the make-do sword seemed to fit so perfectly in his hand, and why he still lacked the initiative. Spira had made him what he was; transformed him from boy to man; from athlete to swordsman; from primary attacker to professional defender – a guardian. Sure, the instrument lent him a certain strength – a certain advantage, even a certain sense of danger – made him a force to be contended with. But he realized now, more than ever, that he did not care for any of those things – not without reason; not without meaning. Only when backed into a corner; with someone he cared about at his side, could he truly appreciate that power; embrace it even. The power he’d inherited from Jecht, that Auron had first shoved into his trembling hands; that Wakka had gifted him later. That Yuna had given a meaning to. The power to protect.

Only, he’d never had to protect Yuna from someone on her own team. So what was he supposed to do now?

”No, it's really not!” Edge agreed, his voice rising to a yell. “Why do you resist, then? Where are you in such a hurry to go?! You know trying to escape makes you look guilty?”

Tidus thought the wording was significant. It was as though Edge didn't want him to be guilty, but was obliged to think him as such. Tidus was still his teammate; he’d passed him thousands of shots, he knew what he was about – he knew something was amiss; he had to know. ”But it doesn't prove I'm guilty, right?”

Edge did not answer. Arret was fidgeting restlessly. But Edge’s questions were valid – where was he going? There was nowhere he could go, he’d always had limited privacy, and was about to lose the last remaining smidgens. There was nowhere he wanted to go – or there was, but he couldn’t bear to think about that right now. What could he possibly do to help the situation? Besides, he was guilty, wasn’t he? Those fiends had come for him, of that he was certain. He’d put Nella in harm’s way. Why did he resist? Why did he not want to give in now?

“Only one of you died.”

And then it dawned on him. Or at least, he suddenly knew where to start.

If only he'd thought of it just moments earlier, when Edge wasn't yet looking abruptly panic-stricken. He was backpedaling and breathing heavily, eyes wide. Arret soon copied, gasping.

“W-what's wrong?”

“W...what's that?” Edge stuttered, only scarcely managing to; pointing over their shoulders with a shaking hand. Tidus and Leo turned, warily; expecting to see the old poster; the larger-than-life-sized, vaguely protruding image of those bulky bronze arms showing off a monstrous golden trophy. But instead – right where that triumphant grin used to be – there was a black hole. Truthfully, black didn't even begin to describe it – it appeared darker and deeper than their eyes could naturally perceive; made of a mass unknown to this world – to this stuffy office, at least. Pyreflies were drifting in and out; disappearing into somewhere beyond nothingness, like butterflies into a starless night. A faint singing voice wafted from somewhere – shrill; yet barely discernible, and only narrowly melodic – a mere wail, almost.

Tidus sighed. More than anything, he felt a certain numbness; a sense of frustration. As if they didn't have their hands full… He gently put down his weapon as he and Leo very deliberately turned to face their detainers; Leo's own alarm seemingly subdued by Tidus's apathetic reaction; but his sword still facing upwards.

“Edge, I need you to listen...”

“See, I knew it was you!” Edge cried out, an accusing finger now pointed toward Tidus. “What did you do now?! What is it that you want?!”

Edge was still backing away; almost tripping as he went; but obstinately remained by the doorway. One arm resting on Arret's back, he was pressuring his backup into staying – a wasted effort; Arret was petrified – the other limb was clutching the multi-bladed blitzball against his chest; as tight as he could bear; to the point of hurting himself. Terrified as he was, the reluctant antagonist still wanted answers. Tidus knew a thing or two about that – he could almost sympathize.

But Leo could no longer.

There was a yell – he'd had enough. He was frightened – or simply tired. He launched an offensive.

“Leo, no!”

It was at this point that Edge fell victim to his own reflexes – a blitzer's reflexes. Moments ago, he'd barely taken an aim at Tidus – not for messing around in midfield – but Leo was shooting; and the goal wasn't empty.

But Leo was a blitzer, too. He wasn't used to dodging, he was used to catching. Seizing. Stopping. With his whole body, if needed. It was a standard move.

There was a horrible thwack, and then he was down.

All before Tidus's reflexes caught up.

“Leo!”

Arret took to his heels. The hole on the wall had grown larger; letting loose a horrific blast of wind; which roared through their heads, then immediately calmed down.

Leo sprawled across the carpet. He was still holding the crossbar chunk. Tidus dropped his, and his knees dropped too.

“Leo…no, no, no….!”

The spikes were massive, and they were embedded deep – only one half visible; and swimming in a sticky red puddle. Sharper than a fiends's teeth, they stabbed at Tidus's arm as he desperately tried to reach for something – a hand, a pinch to wake him up; anything. But even as Leo's fist unclenched around the pole, he refused to offer any such comfort.

Edge was paralyzed. He was clutching at his gaunt cheeks. He couldn't bear to look, but he could still hear the wind; softly howling around the great black cavity.

“I… I killed him…”

“No you didn't!” Tidus screamed at him. “No, you didn't!!” His eyes felt warm – was he crying? He wanted to get up – he wanted to kill him – but he would not, and could not.

Edge turned and bolted – and he still could not. He could never have; and besides, it was more important to stay. The pyreflies flitted wildly around the hole as it expanded, now swallowing Jecht whole.

Tidus desperately sought Leo's wandering gaze; wandering yet concentrated; to tell him something – anything – words of comfort; it didn't really matter what. But it was as though he'd already left the room – he'd done his part; he was not to stay. But as he began to fade – Tidus observed; suddenly oddly detached from everything– the pyreflies flew over to him, lifting him from the floor – and Leo surrendered; willingly; his head tilting in exhaustion. But there was something in his eyes still – underneath that famous frown – an enduring focus; an understanding. He didn't look like a body – he looked like himself. And what he was just happened to be…

Then he was gone; wrapped in a bundle of spiraling, brilliant fibers. Tidus gasped at the unforgiving sight, sniffling back some tears. He resolved in his heart to stick with the original plan – do what he had to do. That didn't involve going after Edge; he had to remind himself – and it didn't involve crying. Momentarily distracted by a playful surplus pyrefly; hovering over the shimmering afterimage; Tidus gently lifted his hand to trace its movement. The creature; evading the chase; soared away to join its brothers and sisters in a luminous stream toward the wall.

But as he raised his gaze – and squinted – he saw that he pitch-black vacuum – albeit grown again – was no longer pitch-black. Tidus rose to his feet. There was a translucent image; thin as a veil; like a reflection on murky water. It was Zanarkand – the Other Zanarkand.

He could’ve just... but that was not part of the plan.

With or without a glaring dark portal on the wall, the stadium building appeared off somehow – strange; altered – wrong. Outwardly, everything was the same; the gray marble walls, the pillars; the Jecht Memorial Cup decorations; the impossibly high, circular ceiling – all there, unchanged. The vast glass wall looking into the vaster sphere pool; the vastest anyone had ever seen; illuminated with the green night lights, painting the walls with aquatic patterns – all still in place. Tidus softly walked toward the glass, to check his reflection – it was the same; if worryingly so. He could see the cold sweat dribbling down his forehead, gluing down his sandy strands.

Then it hit him, and he whirled, and looked again – and instead saw cardboard-thin makeshift walls, broken windows, scaffolds everywhere – all shrouded under a heap of Jecht Legacy Cup fripperies. He turned toward the glass again. The pool was barely a puddle.

The point had finally come. The point where all the rumors where true. The point where he could no longer trust his senses – where he no longer knew what he was looking at. But he knew that the police were not on their way.

The only thing on his heels was the deep abyss – it had picked up the pace, now devouring the opposite wall; its reflection stretching to eclipse the glass completely. The pool vanished from view – perhaps for good – and so did his wistful countenance. And all the while Tidus felt a certain acceptance – knowing that the chaser was hardly a villain – hardly something as simple as that. Not a merciless mass of oblivion; a barbarous assailant of the night – but reality itself. He could see the fractured pavements; the tailed lights drifting above the still waters. A dead world, perhaps, but real nevertheless.

Moments passed, and the room grew darker – and colder – until finally, they emerged. From their home; where else – the great void; the Lost City of the Dead. This time, they came in a variety of shapes and forms – a mighty beast, a garden weed, a specter. But there were at least two of each kind – strangely identical ones. Though perhaps, Tidus mused, they'd always been that way. Had he never noticed before?

Tidus turned from his eclipsed reflection, to approach them cautiously across the hall. A reflex in him somewhere was screaming to reach for a sword – a piece of crossbar; anything – but he'd already rejected one today; he'd reject it now.

“H-hi, guys. So, I know you can't understand me...”

“We can.”

Their voices – or voice – gave a deep, hollow echo. They glared at him through the murky mist with blank, white, shimmering eyes like cheap light-bulbs.

“O-oh. Well, that makes the whole 'talking' part less complicated… Wait, no, that doesn't make any sense. Why am I able to--” Even as he arrived at an answer, he wasn't sure he liked it. “Oh, right… the whole 'a lot in common' thing…”

He hesitated for a moment, considering his next words – but was there ever a time he didn't just speak his mind in the end?

“So what gives? Why do you keep following me? What'd you do with my-- is there something you want to tell me? Something you want from me?” He couldn't help but stare into the ever-expanding mammoth mouth; with the finest, most exquisite starry sky painted in – skin-deep, at first glance, and almost see-through – but in reality, so deep underneath; so far beyond his reach – and so very solid. “Y’know… before we all disappear?”

“Oh, but you will not disappear.”

“I… I won’t?”

None of them cared to elaborate. Instead they demanded, “Why did you turn away? Why won’t you just go? Why won’t you just jump in?”

They were, of course, talking about the wall of shadows. But what were they really saying? That if he went willingly, he might stand a chance at survival?

“Well, for one thing-- I don’t know what would happen. And more importantly... I have to stay, right? Look after my-- my home team. I’d rather just...” He stood only steps apart from the creatures now. The fiends were massive – massive enough to make the ceiling appear lower; the grand hall suffocating – and yet, he still rejected the notion of a weapon – it was unneeded. But no matter how much he liked to pretend otherwise, the dark mass was distracting. “...go down with the ship.”

“So... you do care.”

“Of course I care!” Tidus cried, now noticing their drooping shriveled limbs and vacant eyes starting to grow dimmer. “Anyway... good talk, but if that’s all you got, I’m just gonna bounce and warn the city now, okay? If the central transmitter’s still there...”

It was the strangest thing to witness – but milliseconds before he turned his back and started towards the exit, one of the fiends – a specter – seemed to indicate a small nod. A benignant one, at that – a gesture that the others appeared to resent; wailing and hissing. But the protests were futile – seemingly, the phantom was the monster in charge.

Because within moments, the darkness and the starry canvas were wiped away.

#ffx #Final Fantasy X #Tidus #ffx fanfiction #fan fiction #spoilers in the coming tags #--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------#............................................................................................................................................#fiends fascinate me ok #also leo what a total sue moment there #i'm sorry #didn't mean to create a sue #but with what he pulled i can't unsee it #he's the aerith of this story #also yeah #i did just in fact make one of the zanarkand abes into a murderer #or something of the sort #cuz yolo i guess?#srsly this whole fic is such a testosterone fest #anyway this was almost the last chapter #but i couldn't quite find a neat enough bow #to wrap it in #so heavy edits happened #aaand one last chapter to go yeah

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