#and there's not a lot of ambient noise which is personally too distracting | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

notasapleasure · 2 years ago

Note

Fanfic ask meme: I am asking ALL the ones you haven't done yet! YES ALL

ohmygod ok, ok? thanks? Sorry? [fanfic ask meme]

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind?

My automatic response is yes, I need music ALWAYS or some kind of noise around me.* But I do write a lot on my notes app on my phone which often means I'm not really paying that much attention to the ambient noise. However I will always have some kind of playlist for characters/wips, and often that will involve a specific artist or album that fits the vibe and kind of becomes the default background noise - when I want music that Fits without being distracting the best thing is an album I've listened to to death already. For Only Ever Just One Night it was Jon Boden's Afterglow, which I hadn't listened to for ages, and right now it's a lot of early Elvis Costello and Springsteen. Usually I tend to...match what I want to listen to anyway to the fic and characters, but obviously with the Lymond band AU (@theartistknownaslymond) I worked on playlists first and then listened to them when I needed to capture the right feeling for the characters.

*The one noise I Cannot Work Through is the dog whining. He loves the sound of his own voice and has perfected the 'woe is me pay attention to me' whine that just. Cuts right through thought like the proverbial hot knife through butter.

2. Do you have a trusted beta reader?

For my epic And Then We Danced fic, @erinaceina very generously read and betaed EVERYTHING. For the.... crunchier parts of the band AU I know I can always send stuff to @stripedroseandsketchpads first before posting live. And Kay will even read most SW drafts when I'm mired in self-doubt and loathing! :') (clowned myself by writing one of her squicks into the current wip though, so it's just me and the endless possibilities rn)

But generally We Die Like Men. It's not that I don't want a beta reader for the other fics, it's just I've never bothered going to look for one. Usually I don't write things with enough plot to worry. I don't know how I got through my old Cassian/Jyn longfic on my own tbh, no cheerleader, no beta! Loyal readers were very ready to point out flimsy aspects of the plot :') so having learned from that I would definitely get a beta for a fic like that if I did another (well, the ATWD longfic proves that).

3. First person or third person?

Usually third person, but I've written at least one fic in first person - it seemed to fit 'Cornelius Hickey's' ego.

4. Past tense or present tense?

Usually past tense, but I can't explain why the Andor fic all wanted to be in present tense. That's just how it came to me. Probably something about wanting to not subconsciously be thinking of how it all ends :')

5. How long do your fics tend to be?

Longer than is decent or desirable, generally. I know this is a feature/bug of not really planning stuff and just writing on vibes, I'm mostly at peace with it.

6. Multi-chapter or one-shots?

The one-shots have an unfortunate habit of growing lore/sequels/prequels.

7. Rarepairs? Yea or nay?

Oh very much YEA. I have obviously written for big ships too (I stand by my Jyn/Cassian love), I don't go out of my way to pick the rarepairs, but god they're just so much more fun. Writing for them, reading them, fandoms for them - it's all so much better. The shared headcanons, the emphasis on a couple of really significant scenes, the extrapolation from crumbs...

8. In character or ooc?

....why would I write for a fandom/character only to write it ooc? The best crackfic and satire is good because it's still in character.

9. Tropes - answered elsewhere

10. Omegaverse?

....no. Not even a bit. I was never into spn, and my earliest fandom interactions were before it was invented. Werewolves? Sure. But just reading the words '[character] was in heat' brings me out in hives

11. OTP(s)?

That I've written/intend to write and stand by as OTPs: Reid/Deborah Goren (Ripper Street), Francis/Jerott (Lymond Chronicles), Marthe/Oonagh (Lymond band au nobody dies), Goodsir/Silna (The Terror), Merab/Irakli (And Then We Danced), Cassian/Jyn, Baze/Chirrut (Rogue One), Cassian/Brasso (Andor), Lee from Utopia/physical pain, his own or others' (Utopia)

That I haven't written for but (would) love to read: Trevor/Alucard(/Sypha) (Castlevania TV series), Captain/Havers (BBC Ghosts), Éowyn/Faramir (LotR), Assane/Benjamin (Lupin). Probably any combination of Wedge/Tycho/Hobbie/Janson (X-Wing series). Luke/Bodhi (Star Wars). That random IRA guy/Matthew MacFadyen's character in Spooks - yes fic exists, yes I've read it.

12. Notps

I'm....really resistant to post-S1 Bix/Cassian and Bix/Brasso. Partly it feels like enforced heterosexuality. Partly I want her comfort and healing to come from community and her own working through it rather than a single magical external healer? Partly I want to know more about her and Timm still (Bix finding the most pathetic little man but genuinely seeming to care for him). Partly I'm petty.

I don't care for big unbalanced power dynamic ships or saviour/damnation type deals like R+ylo. Jyn/Krennic is such a huge NOPE. Reid/Cobden (this is mainly spite ok), Reid/Mimi. Crozier/Silna (lol book version what book version?). Ed/Calico Jack (it's my inner, petty Stede. Also I can't look at Will Arnett, I'm allergic).

It's canon, but Jerott/Marthe can still be a notp. The less I have to think about Anakin/Padmé the better, frankly.

13. Fluff or smut or both?

Oh smut, definitely. But smut that veers unpredictably from fluff to feels to fucked up and back to feels, ideally.

14. Answered elsewhere - I love angst!

15. How do you come up with fic ideas?

I'm pursued by a scene or character or concept until it gets written down, I guess. Sometimes spitballing ideas with people helps, or just gazing lovingly at the same gifsets time and again.

16. Are you a planner or do you just write by the seat of your pants?

Pantsing. Sometimes when I'm already in too deep I'll sullenly plot out a few bullet points, but by and large I just try to dissociate until words happen.

17. Do you title you chapters?

Oh hell no, titling the fic is hard enough

18. Overused words or phrases that just make your eyes twitch?

I probably don't read enough fic to have a list of these. I try not to be a Britpicker, but I like to read fic that's been properly researched, where the setting and language has been considered so obvious oversights around the setting can be off-putting.

19. What's something that you struggle with as a writer?

Oh, the big picture, passage of time type stuff connected with a solid plot and plan. I zoom right in on scenes and mannerisms and expend thousands of words on not very much happening, and then I read a fic that is so succinct and well conceived and covers several years in a character's life and leaves no wiggle room at all but is like. 3-5,000 words? And I just die a bit because how do you do that?? But I'm trying to be happy with what I write anyway - it's a different approach and it suits the way I'm able to find time for writing these days.

20. Any writing advice?

Leave your shame behind and just write what you want, how you want! Tag well and post it because you enjoyed creating it and maybe someone else will enjoy reading it! Also don't be afraid of restarting a draft from scratch, but don't delete anything you've written - keep those files. And probably just...go for a walk or a shower or whatever and have a think away from the draft for a bit, things will often be clearer with some distance.

#ask meme #fic writing #fic writing asks #thanks buddy!!#long text post #my writing

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kimiieszn · 11 months ago

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How to Work Effectively for the New Year <3

Number 1 - Focus

To work effectively, you have to be able to focus. Although, if you're like me then focusing can be hard when you're easily distracted; so here's some advice to help you concentrate!

Silence your notifications and set your phone far away from you.

My phone distracts me all the time. If it's next to me whilst I'm trying to study then I can never not look at it to see if someone has messaged me or sent me something. It also ends up just demotivating me. My best advice would be to just turn it on silent and put it on the other side of the room, especially if you're studying at your own personal desk at home - if you have a bookcase or shelves on the other side, I would recommend putting it there :)

Number 2 - Best Hours to Study

It's been found that most students' brains tend to be the best in the morning, especially after a good night's sleep and a nutritious breakfast. This could potentially make the morning a good time to open a textbook and study, or even review notes from the previous day. This means that the brain is more alert, allowing students to have a better ability to recall details like names, places, dates, and facts.

When it comes to the afternoon, then this is the best time for students to integrate new information with what they have already learnt. During this time, then students are supposedly able to create better connections and make the information they have previously learned more meaningful.

Day Studying Benefits:

Brain is refreshed and ready for information, natural light keeps you alert, doesn't disrupt your sleep schedule, and able to study with classmates.

Night Study Benefits:

More peace and quiet, fewer distractions and interruptions, a clearer mind for creative thinking, and can help improve recall.

There aren't any specific times for studying that I will put down because it differs for everyone, but it definitely helps if you create a study schedule - whether it's in the morning or afternoon, it's whatever is best for yourself.

Number 3 - Your Study Space

Sometimes the surrounding areas can be super noisy or it could even be too calm for your liking - which could be demotivating.

If it's too noisy, maybe try going out. I understand that there can be problems with trying to do this if you still live with your parents or live in a rural area where there's practically no buses and you don't drive; but, in my opinion, I love studying at places like a library, or cafes. My personal favourite for studying is Wetherspoons (I'm pretty sure this is just a UK thing so I apologise to everyone that doesn't live in the UK), this place is basically a pub but the food and drinks are so inexpensive and if you're not wanting anything too special drink-wise then you can order a hot drink (and you then get refills for free!) - honestly one of my favourite places cause they also have outlets for you to charge your electronics.

If it's too calm, again I would suggest going out, or even turning on some music in the background at home. With going out then I would definitely recommend a café - they're cozy and very ambient when it comes to noise levels and seating areas but I would watch out if you're bringing electronics, most cafes (in Scotland, specifically) don't really have outlets for you to charge your stuff. If you're planning to stay home and turn on music, I would 100% recommend music that doesn't have lyrics because it helps your brain to focus on what you're studying instead of the lyrics in the background.

Number 4 - Organisation

Being organised can play a bit part in studying effectively. I won't lie, I've been so bad at staying organised for years but now that I'm in university then I've become a lot better.

I would recommend always making a to-do list of everything that has to be done, and if you're someone that has a diary that you put all of your deadlines in then I found it beneficial to put a reminder about the test a week or two weeks before the actual deadline - to give you time to start if you haven't.

Keeping your desk organised is always a great way to stay on top of studying as well - keeping it neat and tidy always helps with keeping yourself focused due to there being no distractions spread across your desk.

Number 5 - Breaks

Breaks have and always will be super important. Studying for hours and hours in a row is not the way to go - this can demotivate you very quickly, and it can also reduce the amount of stuff you actually remember in the long run.

My personal way to go is the pomodoro method. This is where you study for 25 minutes and then have a break of 5 minutes - this has been the best way for me because it allows me to learn for a solid amount of time and then relax for a short amount.

Number 6 - 3 Types of Memory

To study effectively then it's important to know what type of memory you have:

1 - Auditive memory : this means that you learn best when the material is read aloud, the best way to study according to this would be to record yourself speaking your notes etc and being able to listen to it when you can e.g. on the bus, or in the car etc.

2 - Visual memory : this means that you learn best when the material is done in picture forms e.g. mindmaps or timelines. Many people think this is just where you highlight a bunch of different points, but highlighting everything doesn't necessarily mean you're going to remember it. Making mindmaps and timelines work best for me, and you can also add pictures to make it easier to understand and remember.

3 - Kinesthetic memory : this means that you prefer to learn stuff physically. This type is not really taught about or known, but for those doing subjects like biology or physics etc, then this could work. When it comes to learning physically, then, for example, you would rather want to physically cut open a sheep's heart and examine it yourself to learn the different areas instead of watching someone do it on youtube. Many people don't use this type of memory so there's not much online about it, but using youtube would be good to find out how to utilise this type of method.

Number 7 - 3 Techniques

1 - Active recall : this is a widely used method for studying and it helps a lot of people. This is the process of actively trying to retrieve information from your memory - when you try to recall information from your mind then it makes said information stick better than if you just reread it. For example, you could create test questions as you're studying and when you've finished studying a specific section then you could put away your notes and then try to answer the questions - try not to look at your notes but if you have to then don't worry! This takes practice.

2 - Feynman technique : this is where you write down some notes or read a bit of your textbook and then stop for a moment, in that moment then you try and pretend that your teaching the material to an imaginary student. Or alternatively, you could write your notes in a way that you're pretending to teach someone.

3 - Mnemonic image method : this is where there is a picture in your mind that represents a piece of information in the real world - you're able to link the image with the thing you're trying to remember. For example, if you need to remember the Spanish word dormir (which means to sleep), you could picture a dorm room, because dorm sounds like dormir and you can sleep in a dorm.

There are many ways to study efficiently and these are only some ways that could help for the new year, but hopefully they have been helpful <3

#studying #effectivestudying #effective #study #university #highschool #secondary #college #studytips #focus #organisation #studyhacks

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danpuff-ao3 · 3 years ago

Note

For that writers question thing: 22, 26, 29. 🧡

Lila, my love!! 🌹 Thanks for the asks!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Generally, no! I am very easily distracted, so I can't have anyone talking or any shows/movies playing in the background. I can't listen to music, even music without singing. My soul thrives on music but I can't not be absorbed by the music! I would 100% sit there and just vibe or, worse, get up and dance!!

The only thing I can do are have like ambient noise playing. But really soft ones! There can't be too much going on with the sounds, but a crackling fireplace or some soft rain is always nice!

There are some great Pomodoro ambient videos on YouTube I really like. The ambient sounds are really good, but also it switches after the time is up so it reminds me to take breaks!

This link is to the Hufflepuff Pomodoro video I like, but the same channel should have one for each house!

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Oh man. It's not so much scared so much as feeling daunted, but I'd really love to write a case fic one day! I don't even generally care about crime or mystery stories in books or shows, but case fics just hit different and I really want more to exist!

Also, there are some ships that I'd like to try writing, but I fear breaking my own heart in the attempt!

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Oh wow! For sure I have!

Obscene was pretty weird to write as I've not written omegaverse before, so that in of itself made me nervous! And writing omega!Snape and having him be true to himself...and writing omegaverse smut outside of heat?? Idk, it was like nothing I'd read before and certainly nothing I've written! Idk if that seems silly, but that fic made me nervous!

Play Me the Classics was strange because of the Kingsley POV! I've not written Kingsley much before, and certainly not from his POV! His personality is not one that comes naturally to me so it was really touch and go with him!

The Knudhavn Conspiracy was odd for multiple reasons! Writing a ship I'd not written before (ChoLuna), from a POV I'd not written before (Cho), in a location I'd never written before (Sweden) and the whole vibe, even, felt different. I think every single aspect of that fic just felt so wildly different from anything I'd written before. And it was for a fest, so I was having every single anxiety about it!!

Take Heed, Dear Heart because...I genderswapped everyone?? Which made everything so, so different and weird but also it was great fun! Just...weird. And I think the genderswap will drive a lot of people off, but I'd urge them to give it a chance! I think I did pretty good with that one!

Aaaand Phlegethon! I usually name this one for similar questions because the style is just...what it is. I can't even explain it. But the style of writing it was just...different. It's what the story needed and I'm happy with it (I think??) but yeah...it was a weird writing experience! But ALSO it features Draco/Snape and Snape cheating on Harry???? Me, Snarry devotee that I am??

Is it weird if I pat myself on the back?? Stubborn and set in my ways that I am, that's quite a few fics to be venturing out of my comfort zone for!!

#asked & answered #fanfic writer ask game

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spencers-renaissance · 4 years ago

Text

100

Summary: Spencer's an academic researcher who spends every morning at his local library. Derek just happens to drop by one Tuesday and ask the pretty boy in the classics section if he can help him find a book. Sparks fly.

Tags: library au, shy spencer, tooth-rotting fluff, flirting, coming out, spencer does not work at the bau

Pairing: Morgan x Reid

Word Count: 2.1k

Read on AO3

Spencer’s working in his favourite corner of the library by 7.35am, stuck straight into his latest research paper while Katherine bustles quietly around the bookshelves, tidying and re-ordering as much as possible before the rush of people pour through the door. She’s probably his favourite opener. She’s calm and efficient and smiles warmly at him but doesn’t engage him in pointless conversation that distracts him from his work, although that’s not to say they haven’t had a few chats here and there. It’s a quiet moment of companionable solitude; the perfect environment for a productive early morning.

He’s vaguely aware of a gradual increase in patrons, the ambient noise level rising ever so slightly as he pours over copies of an obscure ancient philosophical text he’d obtained from the local museum, annotating furiously as he scrunches his brow in concentration. It’s sucked him in enough that he nearly jumps out of his skin when he’s tapped on the shoulder, whirling around to face probably the most attractive man he’s ever met. Immediately, he flushes red, half from the embarrassment of over-reacting, half from the intensity of the urge to jump this man’s bones.

“Hi, I’m sorry I made you jump,” the man chuckles, taking a step back to give him a bit of space. “I can’t find any librarians around and I noticed the philosophy textbook you have on your desk and thought you might be able to help me…” He trails off looking a bit awkward and uncomfortable, clearly out of his element.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Spencer says, a little intimidated but still very eager to spend any amount of time with the Greek god he’s just so happened to encounter on a random Tuesday morning.

“You will?” the man asks, smiling. “Great. Basically my best friend went to an intro to philosophy class at the local community college, one of her many whimsical new projects, and is now obsessed. I was told in no uncertain terms to pick up as many books on the subject as I could before work this morning.”

“Wow,” Spencer breathes a laugh, raising his eyebrows slightly. “Well, I don’t blame her, philosophy is a great subject. I’m working on my fourth PhD in it now, actually.”

“What, you have four PhDs in philosophy?” he asks incredulously.

“No, no,” Spencer smiles, looking down shyly. “My other three are in chemistry, maths, and engineering. This is my first in philosophy. Sorry that was misleading.”

“Looks like I asked the right person, then,” he grins. “I’m Derek.”

“Spencer,” he replies, blushing at the warm look Derek is sending his way. “We’re actually in the classics section, this is just my favourite corner. The philosophy texts are over here.”

He leads the way through the maze of bookshelves, arriving at the little alcove that houses the philosophy and psychology books. With a vague idea of what Derek is looking for, he dives straight into the shelves, combing through the spines until he finds a few options for his friend. “She should probably start with this one: Big Ideas Simply Explained and then move on to Think, which is one of my favourites. This one, How Philosophy Works, will be best if she’s a visual learner instead, and if you want something a bit more complicated, try Philosophy Made Slightly Less Difficult.” He piles on a few extra as he looks around for any he missed before turning around and gesturing that he’s done.

“This is… amazing, thank you,” Derek says gratefully. “I don’t even know why she chose philosophy, it’s a bit random for a computer nerd, isn’t it?”

“Actually about 0.58% of all US college students graduate with a philosophy degree, so it’s not as uncommon as people may think. It’s the 89th most popular major according to last year’s data, but I don’t know the statistics for people with computer science degrees or careers learning about philosophy in an official or unofficial capacity, I’m afraid,” Spencer explains, hands moving expressively as he reels off his statistics.

The mildly impressed expression that’s been pretty permanently painted on Derek’s face the whole time he’s been speaking with Spencer intensifies as he listens intently to his statistics. “Damn, pretty boy, you really know your stuff,” he marvels, eyes wide. “You some sort of genius or something?”

Spencer blushes furiously at that, ducking his head slightly. “Well, I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified, but I do have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute.”

Derek just stares at him.

“So, yeah, I guess I’m a genius?” he says bashfully.

“No, that 100% qualifies for genius status,” Derek asserts confidently. “Not that I have any sort of qualification to rule on the matter, but in my eyes you are definitely a genius.”

“Thank you,” Spencer murmurs, blush somehow deepening at the unexpected praise from the man who will now occupy his dreams. “You seem pretty smart, too, though. What do you do?”

“I’m an FBI agent.”

Damn it. As if he couldn’t get any sexier. “Wow, that’s… impressive,” Spencer remarks. “Does your friend work there, too?”

“Yeah, she’s our technical analyst,” Derek explains, smiling fondly. “She’s amazing, you’d love her.”

“Well we’ve already got one shared interest,” Spencer points out, gesturing to the books piled high in Derek’s arms. Spencer would’ve collapsed by now, but he’s barely flinching under the weight of seven bulky philosophy texts.

“That’s true,” Derek grins. “Speaking of work, though, pretty boy, I have to run, I’m already late. Thank you so much for your help, though.”

“No problem,” Spencer says softly, definitely not mournfully, as he watches Derek walk away to the check-out desk where Katherine smiles at him as he scans the books through, sending a discreet wink over at Spencer. He glares back jokingly before walking back over to his desk.

He continues working but he can’t help but feel emptiness sinking heavy in his stomach, the kind of a missed opportunity, of almost, of could have been. Immanuel Kant still gets his attention, but he’d be lying if he said that a decent portion of it wasn’t focused on hoping, praying that his path crosses with Derek again, that he’s not replaying every moment over and over in his mind.

⭐️

Derek is very late. He rushes into the briefing room where Penelope is already explaining the case to the team. Rolling his eyes at her pointed look, he dumps the books down on the table in front of her. “Don’t blame me, baby girl, doing your chores is what made me late,” he protests, taking a seat next to Emily.

“Well, maybe you should have been quicker,” Penelope quips, before promptly moving on with the case at Hotch’s pointed glare.

He barely has a moment to think about anything but double homicide until they’re mid-flight and the debriefing is finally over. Moving to the back of the plane, he looks out the window as he plays over the morning’s trip to the library. Spencer might just be the prettiest boy he’s ever met, and making him blush is probably the most fun he’s had all week. Bonus points for intelligence, of course, even after spending just a few minutes with him, he could confidently say he was a walking encyclopedia.

On the drive from the library to Quantico, he’d thought about finding some ruse to go back the next day. Spencer seemed as though he knew the library well, like he spent a lot of time there. Maybe he could go back and actually ask for his number this time; he was gonna take that boy out on a date if it’s the last thing he does. Now, though, that’s going to have to wait.

“Alright,” Emily sighs, flopping into the seat opposite him and dragging him out of his head, “what’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” Derek asks reflexively, feeling a little defensive.

“Well you were late this morning, not unusual, but you’re not listening to music and instead choosing to stare pensively out the window. Plus, you barely had anything to contribute during debriefing,” she explains, raising an eyebrow.

“Drop it,” he says, sending her a look, but it’s teasing and light-hearted.

“Oh my God, there’s a girl,” she gasps. “And not just any girl, you like her!”

“There absolutely is not,” he says truthfully, raising an eyebrow. He’s not exactly out to the team, not out of fear of how they’ll react but more because he finds coming out awkward and he’s never found the right time, really.

“Suit yourself,” Emily teases, pulling out her phone to play online scrabble.

Derek just scoffs and looks out the window again, definitely not letting his thoughts wander back to Spencer. Definitely not.

⭐️

Spencer walks into the library the following Monday with low expectations. He’d thought that Derek might come back in last week, if not to see him then maybe to return his friend’s books or find more for her, but his wish had been unsuccessful. Accepting that it was a chance encounter that would ultimately go nowhere, and reminding himself that Spencer Reid’s life was decidedly not like the movies, he unpacks his papers from his messenger bag in his favourite corner again and gets back to work. He’s over the moon with the headway he’s making on his paper, and he settles in for another productive morning of work.

Just like last time, Derek creeps up on him while he’s completely in the zone, slipping into the seat opposite him, but at least Spencer doesn’t jump this time. No, he just feels his face immediately brighten, looking far too excited to see a near-stranger again.

“Good morning, pretty boy,” he grins, laughing fondly at Spencer’s reaction.

“Derek, you came back,” he says happily, putting down his pen.

“Yeah, I had a case immediately after I came to the library last Tuesday and it was a tough one. We only wrapped it up yesterday so I have today off, a rare luxury,” he explains, and Spencer tries not to read into it too much, tries not to think that Derek is saying he would’ve come back sooner if he could, tries to take him at face value.

“The exciting life of an FBI agent.”

“Not as glamorous as the movies,” Derek agrees.

“I’m, uh- glad you came back,” Spencer admits shyly, afraid of coming on too strong.

“Well, would you like to get dinner sometime?” Derek asks.

“Really?” Spencer asks, looking up at Derek with shock written across his face.

“Of course,” Derek chuckles. “I mean, I love Penelope, but if she wants more philosophy books she can get them herself. I came back to see you.”

“You did?” Spencer’s still a little floored by Derek’s words, but slowly a warmth starts to bloom inside him as he realises what’s happening.

“I did,” Derek smiles gently. “Now, about that date. How does tonight sound?”

⭐️

Derek decides on his favourite Italian place to treat Spencer at and his cheeks hurt by the end of the night; he’s pretty sure not one moment went by when he wasn’t smiling fondly at his statistics or stories or blushing. He slips his hand into Spencer’s as they walk out of the restaurant, swinging their arms a bit, directing them down the street towards the 24/7 ice cream parlour.

“I love ice cream,” Spencer grins as they head inside, his cheeks red from the cold winter air and the copious red wine they’d had with dinner.

“Who doesn’t?” Derek asks, leading him up to the counter.

Spencer insists on sampling far too many flavours before deciding on cookies and cream with mint chocolate chip in a cone. He licks at it happily while Derek sits opposite with two scoops of raspberry ripple in a cup and forces himself to think very pure thoughts.

“Thank you for this, Derek,” he beams over his cone.

“Oh, pretty boy,” Derek says fondly. “Thank you.”

Emily spots it the minute he walks into the bullpen the next day. “I’m guessing things are going well with her,” she smirks as she skids over on her chair, grinning wildly.

He sighs as he sits down, looking up at her as he sets his stuff down. “With him, yes,” he confirms, smiling a little.

She raises her eyebrows and pauses for a moment. “Wow, okay, okay,” she says. “Well, I hope I can meet him soon.”

“Might be a bit early for that yet, Em,” he laughs, “but if things go as well as I think they will, that’s definitely on the cards.”

(Five months later, when Spencer finally does meet Emily, she’s as annoying as Derek expects her to be but seeing his boyfriend’s face light up as he gets welcomed in the found family of the BAU is worth every drop of teasing, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.)

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds writing #moreid #moreid fic #moreid writing #derek morgan #spencer reid #derek morgan x spencer reid #derek morgan/spencer reid #my writing #moreid fluff #criminal minds fluff #moreid au #criminal minds au #library au

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kinglazrus · 4 years ago

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Not Your Danny – Ch 6. Obsessions

Previous | First | Next | FFN | AO3

Word count: 3109

Eventually, Dani has to go back to Fenton Works. She stays with Sam and Tucker at the mall for a few hours, enjoying their company; but, as the afternoon wanes and evening draws near, their hangout time comes to an end.

"I can't believe my parents are making me stick to a curfew. I'm eighteen. I didn't have a curfew a month ago," Sam says when she notices the time.

"A month ago, they didn't know you part-time as a ghost hunter. I can't believe they made your curfew eight," Tucker says.

They manage to hit a couple more stores before Sam has to go, and even swing by the food court again to grab some food-to-go. By the time Dani goes home, she has four bags of new clothes plus a box of pizza all to herself.

"Here." Tucker leans across the passenger seat and holds something out to Dani.

When she takes it, shuffling the shopping bags around her arms so she has a free hand, she notices that it's a cellphone. Basic, with a touch screen.

"It's pre-paid. I have a bunch, so don't worry about it. Mine and Sam's numbers are on there, so you can text us if you want to hang out again."

Dani clutches the phone to her chest. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Dani waits until Tucker has pulled away before turning toward the house. It's hard to tell with the curtains drawn, and the harsh glow of the Fenton Works sign splashed across the building, but it looks as if the lights are off inside. A quick scan of the street shows that Jazz's car is gone, although she could have parked around back, or by the garage instead. Dani heads up to the front door and tries the knob. It doesn't budge.

Rather than trying the doorbell or knocking, she goes intangible and walks right through the door. Inside, the lights are off, just as she suspected. She doesn’t bother turning them on. With her enhanced vision, she can see perfectly well in the dark, albeit in dark, muted shades.

In the kitchen, she finds a note from Jazz: Mom and Dad out testing weapons. I will be at Spike's. There's food in the fridge. Dani doesn't know who Spike is.

When she peeks in the fridge, she finds a tin-foiled plate of meatloaf waiting for her, as promised. She doesn't bother with it, though, taking her pizza up to Danny's room instead. The house without the Fentons there feels... pretty much the same. Without the ambient noise of Jazz's typing or Jack's distant footsteps, the house is far quieter than Dani has ever heard it. Even at night, Maddie's chainsaw snores—which surprises Dani more than it annoys her—keep the house from falling completely silent.

Now, there's nothing but Dani's soft breathing.

It's quiet, and yet, the house feels no less empty than it always does.

She deposits the shopping bags at the foot of Danny's bed and takes her pizza to his desk. Since arriving, she has cleared away enough clutter that the box can fit, although it's a tight squeeze. One side of the box rests on top of the keyboard. She looks between the greasy cardboard and the keys, wondering if it might wreck them. There shouldn't be enough grease that it will leak through, but she decides not to risk it.

Dani lifts the box and shoves the keyboard aside. It smacks into the base of the Challenger's display case, sending it toppling over the edge of the desk.

"No!" Dani throws herself out of the chair, reaching for the model. Her fingers skim the glass but miss. Blind panic fills her and something in her chest bursts. A bright glow launches from her palms and surrounds the case.

The model jerks to a stop a mere inch from the floor.

Dani's heart hammers in her chest. The horrible realization of what would have happened if she missed drains the blood from her face. Careful not to make any sudden moves, she pushes herself onto her knees, arms still outstretched. A thin thread connects the light surrounding her palm and the display case. It tugs on her, like a sixth finger, each movement sending an unfamiliar ripple up her arm.

Telekinesis is not a rare ability among ghosts. A common power, like intangibility, invisibility, and flight, more than half of all spectral entities have some form of it. But unlike those first powers, telekinesis can rely heavily on a ghost's power level and general skill. Where one ghost may struggle to move a toothpick, another can uproot a whole tree with nothing more than a thought.

Dani, until this moment, could not use it at all.

When she flexes her fingers, the model drifts toward her. The moment she has it in hand, the light disappears, and the model's weight hits her. Heavier than expected, enough that her arms bow under its sudden presence. She holds the model in a tight embrace as she rises to her feet. With her elbow, she pushes the keyboard out of the way to clear space and returns the display case to the desk.

After a moment's consideration, Dani nudges the model closer to the middle of the desk. Even if it makes things tighter, she doesn't want that to happen again

She returns to the chair, but rather than eating her pizza, her focus stays on the model. It looks undamaged inside the case, still fixed to its wooden base. At a glance, it seems sturdy enough that it could hold up to a bit of knocking around. A hard smash to the floor would probably do it in, though. The thought makes her stomach twist.

With most of Danny's things, their importance still eludes her. Now that she has her own clothes, and a phone, it's starting to dawn on her why people like things. It's nice, to speak frankly. Being able to have something, to keep it somewhere and return to it, is a nice feeling. But then there are feelings attached to the items, too.

Jack said this model was Danny's favourite. Dani has no way of knowing if she is right about why it was his favourite. It was only a guess based on what she knew of her cousin, what he thought of his parents. Danny didn't smile a lot when it came to them, at least not as far as Dani saw. Maddie and Jack rarely came up during cousin bonding time unless they came after Dani and Danny while they were hanging out. But, sometimes, Danny would smile so bright at the mention of his parents.

If he had done well on a test and they congratulated him. If they took him to the planetarium. If they went stargazing recently. None of these things happened often, but when they did, and Danny told her about them, his smile would be so bright Dani found it hard to look at.

Thinking about her new clothes, Dani wonders if the smile she can feel on her face is just as bright as Danny's had been.

"I'm sorry I lost the music player you got me," she says to the Challenger. "I didn't realize how important it could have been." She shrugged it off at the time. Even now, what little guilt she feels over it stems from losing something that could have been dear to her rather than something that wasdear.

How many things has she lost that could have been important? She already knows the answer: far too many.

—

Jazz was distracted during the funeral. She tried to hide it, but Jack knew his daughter all too well. As she gave her final goodbyes to Danny, she kept wiping her eyes and looking over the crowd, her gaze searching. Jack looked over his own shoulder a few times, trying to see what Jazz was searching for. He couldn’t find it, obviously.

There weren't many people in the crowd. Immediate family; Sam and Tucker, plus their parents; Valerie came, as well, along with Casper High's vice-principal. Jack had no other family to speak of besides his wife and children—now child. And the only relative still in contact with Maddie, her sister, could not make it in time. Jack understood although it hurt.

Over the past few months, Danny had grown closer with his aunt. Jack wasn't sure when it happened, and it took him a while to catch on. Maddie and Alicia spoke on the phone at least twice a month since Alicia didn't have a cellphone or internet. It was standard practice for Maddie to drag one of the kids into the conversation to say hi. Jazz always went willingly. Danny usually complained.

However, at some point, his complaints stopped. If Danny caught Maddie on the phone, he would eagerly jump into the conversation. He even started shooing out whoever was in the room. Jack blamed it on teenage antics. It wasn't until Jack caught the tail end of one of their conversations that he realized something had changed.

Danny sat at the kitchen table, phone to his ear. When Jack entered, he sat up straighter.

"I'll try and bring it up next time I see her. Not sure when that will be, but her birthday's coming up." Danny paused as the person on the other end replied, then nodded. "Cool. Bye Auntie Alicia, love you."

"Alicia? Don't you think your mother would have liked to say goodbye before you hung up?" Jack asked.

Danny set the phone down on the table. "That'd be weird since Mom didn't call her. Is she even home right now?"

Now that Jack thought about it, no, she wasn't. Maddie went to the store nearly an hour ago to buy cookie fixings. "Good point!" Now that Jack was paying attention, he saw the phone on the table was Danny's cell and not the house phone. "Was she leaving you a message for Maddie?"

"No, I called her."

"Plans for your mom's birthday next month?"

"Nope." Danny stood up and pocketed his phone. "I'm going to Sam's. See you later."

Jack paid more attention after that. There were other phone calls, always the same, where Danny would find somewhere private to talk. Sometimes he clammed up when Jack walked in and quickly ended the conversation. Once, Jack thought he caught Danny crying. It was late. Jack himself had only gotten home a little while ago thanks to a particularly nasty ghost attack that day. For nearly twenty minutes, he and Maddie had chased the ghost boy, trying to catch him while he was down. Phantom was a damn good flyer, though, even when injured.

The first thing Jack did when he got home was check on the kids, and that's how he found Danny curled up beside his bed, his phone cradled against his ear. Every blanket in the room was pulled tight around him.

"I don't know if I can do it anymore," Danny had said. "It keeps getting harder, and today I just–" his voice cracked.

The moment that followed was quiet. Not a single sob escaped Danny, but his shoulders shook. Jack was about to step inside when Alicia's voice, strong and steady, so loud in the silence, came from the phone.

"You're gonna be okay, kiddo."

Jack didn't go inside. Maybe he should have. Danny asked several times when they would be visiting Alicia next after the phone call. Every time he asked was like a punch to the got, but Jack never spoke up. If Danny wanted to come to him, then he could. If he was more comfortable talking to Alicia about this mystery problem, that was fine too.

He'll come to me when he needs to. Jack kept telling himself that until the day Danny died.

—

Jazz hoped she might see Dani in the crowd. A small part of her whispered that maybe she had missed Dani, glanced away right as she appeared. But, considering how few people were in attendance, that seemed unlikely. Beyond that, if a halfa did not want to get seen, they would not be seen.

Which brought Jazz to another guest she expected, although did not welcome: Vlad. Her worrying proved pointless, though, when he never showed up. As the lingering crowd thinned, Danny's friends and loved ones saying their final goodbyes, Jazz searched the heads once more. No red beanie or glowing white hair, and no pompous ponytail.

At the first opportunity, Jazz pulled Sam and Tucker aside. "Have either of you seen Dani?"

"Uh... is this some kind of joke?" Tucker asked. He glanced none too subtly toward the freshly filled grave. Sam at least had more tact and waited for Jazz to elaborate.

"Dani-with-an-i."

"Oh." Tucker shook his head. "No. We've been trying to contact her, but there isn't a great way to reach her. Left some messages with some ghosts, but that doesn't help if she's not in the Ghost Zone right now."

"She isn't." Jazz checked on the whereabouts of her parents. They were nearer the grave, speaking solemnly with Angela and Maurice Foley. Most importantly, they were well out of earshot. "I saw her at Fenton Works last night, but she ran away."

"Damn." Sam lifted the black veil hanging from her hat, revealing red eyes and smudged makeup. "I hope she's okay. Did she say anything before she left?"

Jazz hesitated. Although the whole exchange only lasted a few seconds, it had yet to leave her mind, for reasons she was ashamed to admit. And yet, no matter how guilty she felt about her initial reaction to Dani, she could not forget about it.

"No," she said. "Dani saw me and bolted. She might have thought I was my mom since it was so dark."

"We'll have to keep an eye out for her. I don't if she would stay without Danny here, but it's not like she has anywhere else to go, either," Sam said.

"I will, too. I thought she might show up here, but..."

"Sammykins!" Pamela Manson called from the cemetery gate. She tapped her wrist, although she wore no watch. "There's a crowd forming, dear."

Jazz grimaced at the sight beyond the funeral gates. A small gathering of Danny Phantom fans stood on the sidewalk, some bearing signs, all dressed for mourning. It was the most inappropriate display she had ever seen. None of them had breached the cemetery, but Jazz suspected that was because of the hired security standing at the gate and not the onlooker's own sense of morality.

She dreaded what the crowd might do as soon as she and her family left.

Sam scowled. "I can't believe them. I get if they want to mourn the local hero, but this is such gross behaviour." She looked remarkably like her mother as she hissed those words, her lip curling in disgust as she glared at the onlookers.

Jazz agreed wholeheartedly.

"I'll text you as soon as my mom takes me off house arrest," Sam told Tucker. "Jazz, let us know if you see Dani again. I'll sleep a little easier knowing she's alright."

Jazz nodded and gave her guarantee.

—

Vlad has lost obsessions before. Most well-balanced ghosts have. Any experienced ghost knows to have a few central obsessions and a handful of smaller ones. Latch on to a passing interest hard enough and all it takes is a little dedication to turn that into a full-blown obsession. Then, once it becomes tedious, let it go and move on to something else.

There have been some obsessions that he lost against his will. He once had a bonsai tree, a nice juniper, that he loved dearly. It went up in flames with his Wisconsin mansion the first time Danny destroyed his home. Vlad felt the loss like a bitter sting. At the same time, his determination to capture Danny for himself only grew, overwhelming painful prickle. Every slight against him only fuelled his desire more. Never had he fought so hard for something without immediate success. It made the game that much more fun.

And it was a game. Danny learned fast, but there was so much he didn't know, couldn't do. It was so easy to toy with him, egg him on, guide him to new abilities. The potential within him was limitless. Vlad could have overwhelmed Danny in seconds but there's no fun in that.

Perhaps that's why it was so easy for his other obsessions to slip away without him noticing.

He drifts through the halls of his mansion, familiar yet alien at the same time. On the landing, he drags his hand along the bannister, dust gathering against his fingers. His limb flickers, wispy blue, jumping sporadically in and out of intangibility. He designed the balustrades himself, inspired by the first twisted haunts he discovered within the Ghost Zone.

The wood cracks and splinters as his fingers solidify while passing through.

Before him, the front hall looms. Vast, open, a point of pride in every mansion he has owned. Better to impress the guests with a grand display upon entry. Now he finds it suffocating. All his hours of work, his obsessions wasted. Where simply looking upon his walls once filled him with pride, now they sicken him.

There is nothing for him here.

He went to such desperate lengths. Threats, bribery, manipulation, cloning. Nothing ever worked. Each new failure cut him deeper, made him more desperate, more eager. No. No, that wasn't right. He was subtle, clever, controlling an oblivious pawn in a cruel game. The winner, the mastermind. The cloak, not the dagger. The cat, not the mouse. But still always losing. Surely something he had to work this hard for, harder than anything in his life, had to be worth it.

And then, in an instant, in the span of an ectoblast, his obsession died.

"Maddie." Vlad moans, voice breaking. "Maddie. Maddie. Maddie." His please reach no one who cares. All his attempts to reach out, reforge that connection they once had, have been rebuffed.

"Maddie." Once, not so long ago, the sound of her name alone was enough to light his core ablaze.

But when, when, when, how, somewhere along the way that warmth died.

"Madeline, I need you." Please, please. Don't leave me to this. Don't go.

The cold wind whips against him, not unusual for an October day, but it startles him, nonetheless. He hunches halfway down the drive, the empty halls of his mansion long behind. He could return home, but... no. Home won't help him now.

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#phic phight #phic phight 2021 #notyourdanny #phanfic #phicc #dp fanfiction #danny phantom #dani phantom #danielle phantom #danny phantom fanfiction #trans danny #trans danny fenton #nyd chapter six

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cupidcreates · 4 years ago

Text

Love You Equally

Chapter Thirteen - Midterms and Halloween Mishaps

Part 4: Party Crashers

By 9pm the party was in full swing, Halloween-themed music blared from the speakers placed strategically throughout the living room and kitchen. Black and orange decorations adorned the walls and smoke machines pushed out a steady stream of fog that effectively hid anything below ankle-level in a thick gray smog. Huge fake cobwebs spanned the corners of the rooms with mechanical spiders crawling about them, their metallic joints clicking menacingly. Small animatronic witches cackled every other moment and harrowing howls sounded from somewhere in the house at regular intervals. When you asked Kiego about the location of the ambient noises, he simply winked, shrugged, and offered you a drink as a change of conversation.

The kitchen countertops were laden with Katsuki’s food, most of which had been consumed almost immediately only to be replaced by other dishes he had stored in the fridge and freezer. Several bowls of candy and Halloween-themed snacks were placed about the kitchen and living room where the main party took place, being refilled every so often by Keigo or Katsuki.

To say the party was a hit with your friends would be an understatement; they had all shown up roughly around the same time in elaborate costumes, both to impress their respective friends' soulmates and win the costume contest you had devised at the last minute. The winner, you had told them, would get to take home a dessert of their choice prepared by Katsuki at the end of the night. You had planned on giving everyone’s costume a fair shake, you really had! But when Momo showed up in a stunning white ball gown adorned with jewels that glittered like stars under even the dim party light, you knew who was taking the prize home that night.

“The dress itself is a genuine relic,” You heard her telling Ochaco, Tsu, Toga, and Mina who had all surrounded her the moment she walked in “but the jewels are from the family vault. They’re non-authentic but similarly cut to the originals that Marie Antoinette would have worn.”

Jiro, who was dressed as a vampire in rather authentic-looking gothic garb, slung her arm around Momo’s neck and kissed her forehead. “The makeup around her neck was my idea,” she stated, and for the first time you noticed the ring of fake gore around Momo’s throat, “had to make sure she really looked like old Antoinette right? Post-guillotine and all.”

You chuckled and moved further into the party. Kaminari, Sero, Kirishima, and, surprisingly enough, Iida, were all in the middle of a limbo contest while Katsuki stood watching off to the side with Izuku and Shouto.

“Hey you three!” You greeted enthusiastically as you got closer to them, “enjoying the party so far?”

The sour look on Katsuki’s face vanished the second he spotted you, replaced by a small grin as he pushed himself off the wall he’d been leaning on and pressed his shoulder into yours.

“It’s not so bad,” he said, letting his head drop to touch yours momentarily, “I’m guessing you’ve seen Momo’s getup then?”

“Yep!” You said, placing the briefest of kisses to his shoulder, “I’ve found the winner of the contest for sure.”

Katsuki didn’t respond, only when you looked at his shocked and puzzled expression did you realize that you had never actually kissed any of your soulmates before, on the shoulder or otherwise. You felt your face heat up as you wracked your brain desperately for a change in topic.

“It’s you of course,” you stammered, a bit too shrill even to your ears, “who else would I give the prize to other than my number one?”

Shit that might have made it worse! But it seemed Katsuki wanted to change the topic as well, because he schooled his face back into his passive bored expression and rolled his eyes.

“You know I might have held you to that if the prize wasn’t something I could whip up myself on the weekend,” he huffed but grinned at you a moment later “Thanks though, I’ll be sure to remind the others who your number one is.”

You spluttered as he smirked and walked off. You shook your head exasperated and turned to find Shouto and Izuku beaming at you. Your face went hot again as you opened your mouth to say something, only to have a loud thump cut you off before you could even begin. Spinning around you saw Kaminari flat on his back glaring up at Sero, who had apparently knocked his feet out from under him right as he was about to clear the lowest limbo bar.

Grateful for the distraction you moved away from your two best friends and around the limbo contest, now turned wrestling match, and into the corner where you found Hitoshi and Dabi both leaning up against the wall.

“Hello there cuties,” you greeted “Having a good time?”

“You know it,” Hitoshi’s deep timber never failed to send shivers up your spine, even when he was saying the most mundane of things, “you enjoying yourself as well kitten?”

“But of course!” You said, playing off the effect the pet name had on you “If you happen upon Katsuki, don’t believe anything he says about being number one at anything, okay?”

“I never do,” Hitoshi chuckled, taking a swig of his drink and watching Kaminari attempt to body slam Sero. You hummed in response and leaned forward to spy Dabi on his other side. “Having a good time, Dabs?”

Dabi didn’t respond immediately, instead turning his head towards you very slowly and blinking owlishly. He seemed to just realize you had gotten there, and he jolted a moment later after realizing you had addressed him.

“Like your costume, mouse,” he made an attempt at his usual cocky smirk but missed the mark when his face twitched and he faltered into a soft giggle. You cocked you head to the side and considered this odd behavior.

“He’s high,” Hitoshi clarified for you at your puzzled look, “higher than most here, I’d say.”

It was then you noticed the acrid smell permeating the air, it was so light that it was almost undetectable unless you were actively trying to find it. Looking around you noticed a few of the others looked a little less aware of their surroundings than some, and even a few people giggling out of nowhere.

“People are high already?” You asked incredulously “the party has only been on for an hour and a half!”

Hitoshi shrugged and grinned at you “Told you this would happen, you can stick by me for a bit if you’re uncomfortable, I’ve dealt with high Kaminari enough to know how to navigate a conversation with someone who’s blasted.”

You shook your head, “I should be fine but thank you,” you gave him a quick smile before moving further into the party.

You didn’t have to go far before you stumbled up on Tamaki who was sitting on the couch deep in conversation with Mirio, Nejire, Rumi, and Shinya. Rumi had what looked like a pile of heavy dark blankets on her lap, you reasoned that she was probably cold in her skimpy bunny costume. You plopped yourself down on Tamaki’s other side and he started at your sudden presence. Turning to you he blushed at your sudden proximity and stammered out something that sounded like a greeting, but was drowned out by the music thudding through the walls.

You grinned and pressed your shoulder into his to indicate you understood. He smiled at turned back to Mirio and Nejire who were now discussing Mirio’s lack of chess skills. You listened for a bit before standing up to move towards the kitchen. Rumi flung her hand out to stop you before you had gone to far.

You gave her an inquisitive look but she only smiled in return. “Name’s Rumi,” she said unnecessarily, “I wanted to introduce myself properly, even though Keigo’s already told you who I am.”

You shook her outstretched hand and smiled “Thanks, its nice to finally talk to you in person,” you said as she leaned back and chuckled.

“I’d stand up to talk to you proper but I’ve got my lap full right now, as you can probably see,” You look inquisitively at the blankets only to have them shuffle and reveal themselves to be a person.

“Ah!” You said as Rumi wrapped her arms around the skinny form of Tomura Shigaraki. You opened your mouth to say something again but snapped it closed when you noticed Shigaraki’s face blushing brighter than the setting sun.

“I should probably find Keigo,” you said, hoping you didn’t sound too rude. Rumi just grinned at you and placed a kiss to Shigaraki’s nose, making his blush extend to his now exposed neck. You smiled politely and made your way towards the kitchen.

You found Keigo, Kaminari, and a blonde boy you didn't recognize gathered around the table of food. As you approached you saw a worried scowl deepen on Keigo’s face as Kaminari talked through his mouthful of food.

“Be bet icha ton ova,” Kaminari explained around fistfuls of candy “Um betty good bat Mac in fends.”

“Yes, well,” interrupted the blonde, “I was enamored by him and his friend very quickly. And good thing too, otherwise I’d be sitting at home alone on Halloween night! And we can’t have that can we?”

The blonde spoke reasonably but there was something off about him that you couldn’t place. Maybe it was the way he moved his hands as he talked, or the fact that his eyes kept darting around the room as though he was looking for someone. Either way, you weren’t sure you liked Kaminari’s new friend as much as he did.

Keigo seemed to feel the same sort of unease as you did, but either couldn’t find a reason to confront the blonde or was too polite to do so. The blonde broke the heavy lull in conversation by straightening his coat and drawing himself up to his full height. “It’s been nice talking to you lot,” he said in a manner too pompous for your liking “but I think I’ll move further into the party, I do have someone I’d like to talk to before the night ends.”

And with that he swept from the kitchen into the living room and disappeared amongst the crowd. You turned to Kaminari who had finally swallowed his mouthful and was looking puzzled after the departing figure.

“Speak to someone?” Kaminari asked, “but he only knows me and Eijiro here…”

“He did show up late though,” Keigo added, “in fact I answered the door for him just ten minutes ago.”

“So maybe he hasn’t seen Eijiro yet then?” Kaminari looked a bit worried now “I wonder why he was so late too, I told him the right time….”

“Maybe I’ll follow him,” Kaminari said, already heading out of the kitchen. “Just to make sure he’s alright…”

Kaminari disappeared into the crowd leaving you and Keigo alone at the table. You shared a look with Keigo, who shook his head and stood up. Smiling at you he offered his hand with a bow “May I have a walk with you, mademoiselle?” He asked with a cheeky smirk.

You rolled your eyes but took his hand anyway, “sure, I could use some fresh air.” You both walked out the back door, down the back terrace stairs and into the expansive garden behind the mansion.

You crossed to the greenhouse sitting just opposite the mansion and sat down on one of the ceramic garden benches. Keigo leaned back against the greenhouse walls and gazed skyward. You followed his example and took a moment to take in the stars twinkling above. The full moon bathed you both in light and the crisp autumn breeze cooled the sweat that had appeared on your skin without your notice.

“I really like your friends,” he said, turning his head toward you with a smile “they’re just as sweet as you are.”

You grinned back at him “Rumi and Shinya are really nice too,” you said, “and I think the guy Rumi’s been babying all night is Dabi’s friend Shigaraki?”

“Yeah he is,” Keigo replied “and I’m glad he’s finally come around to them, you know it took those three ages to-“

Keigo’s sentence is cut off by a loud slam, both your heads snap in the direction of the sound only to see Hitoshi fling himself out of the back door and brace himself against the railing, looking like he was about to be ill.

Both you and Keigo are on your feet in seconds and Keigo is at his side before you even make it halfway to the stairs. You watch him grip Hitoshi by the shoulders and spin him around to face him. As you get closer you can hear their conversation, Hitoshi’s words coming out in harsh panicked breaths.

“He’s here,” he gasps “I didn’t think, I didn’t expect, I didn’t know-“

“Hitoshi what’s wrong?” You ask as you finally draw level with them “are you alright? What’s-“

“Yes,” called a familiar and unwelcome voice “tell us what is wrong, dear Hitoshi.”

You and Keigo spin around and your heart drops as you see the smirking face of the blonde stranger.

Masterlist

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#mha smau #bnha smau #L.Y.E.#smau bnha #smau mha

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bluejayblueskies · 3 years ago

Note

2, 12 & 23 for the fanfic ask game

fanfic writer ask game!

2 - talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

this happens to me a lot actually--sometimes i'll have a plan for what direction a fic will go in and the characterization ends up taking it another way entirely. in it will be this, always, i'd often be writing an argument and it would stray into areas i hadn't intended to address but that jon and martin apparently felt very strongly about ajgkladf. another notable experience with this was when writing my big bang fic, By Virtue of Divine Providence. in chapter 4, i was originally intending to have jon leave without talking to martin about it at all, and then it would be after jon returned that they would tell martin that they loved him, etc., but when i started writing the scene jon was just ... there. chilling. telling martin that they loved him. and i was like 'okay i guess this is what we're doing' but u know what, they were right--the scene worked way better that way. if writing has taught me anything it's that following the natural flow of characterization is often better than forcing a predetermined plot path (so long as you don't stray too far from where your intended end goal is).

12 - do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that?

oh, yeah, absolutely, especially now that my fervency and ability to churn out three fics a week has ... calmed down a bit lol. writing is usually an active choice for me now rather than a 'oh i need to get this down on paper' and sometimes it's hard to get started. if i'm having trouble even getting a word doc open, i pick an idea that seems exciting to me in the moment whether or not it's what i was intending to work on. then, once i've started on that, usually i can transition over to what i need to work on. another strategy that really works well for me is using sprinto on discord. sprints with others are great because i'm a very competitive person and i will write nonsense i wouldn't normally allow myself to write in order to win <3 but i've also found them quite effective just by myself. i work well with defined chunks of time during which i focus entirely on one thing, and setting a 15 minute timer and being able to see at the end of it quantitatively what i've done really works for me. (side note: i do this when i practice my instrument as well, setting 15 minute timers and focusing on just one section of music. in both circumstances, it usually helps my brain focus because i know that i only have to do so for 15 minutes and can take a break after that.)

sometimes if i'm really struggling, i'll put on an ambient noise track that fits the vibe of the fic i'm working on. for example, for do the stars gaze back? i spent a lot of time listening to ocean sounds to get myself in the right headspace. having that constant noise also works well to eliminate outside distractions and let me immerse myself in the world i'm creating.

23 - how do you deal with writers block?

this is a similar answer to the last question. i use all the same strategies, but i also do other things specific to that feeling of just ... not being able to move forward or rewriting the same sentence 10 times in a row. quick 5 minute sprints are good for me for this--i don't allow myself to backspace, so whatever comes out is what i keep. i do this until i feel my rhythm settle back into something normal for me.

if it's a big section i'm stuck on, i'll write it out in very detailed outline form. that eliminates any hangups i might have on exact phrasing or the exact right words and allows me to just brute force the plot. then, i move on to the next section and come back to that section later when i might have more luck. for smaller sections, brackets are great. i use brackets for words i can't quite figure out and that would get me hung up if i tried to get them perfect the first time, and sometimes i'll do whole sentences or paragraphs in brackets.

some of the best advice i've seen about writing is that if you're stuck on a section or line, the issue is probably ten lines back. it really changed the way i handle snags in my writing, because instead of agonizing over which word or phrase isn't working, i just delete big chunks of the section (up to a natural point or a point i felt worked well or was comfortable) and start over. i have a junk document i put these chunks in in case i want them later, but i rarely go back to them because usually there was something in there that didn't work well--a character said something odd or out of character, there was a plot hole, something was awkward, etc.--which was giving me trouble later on in the fic. reflecting back on question 2--letting the characters guide those sections sometimes helps work out the kinks and usually results in something much better than what i originally had!

overall, working to get rid of my need for a 'perfect' first draft often helps with writer's block because i can allow myself to write absolute garbage. (sometimes, i even come back to that garbage and decide that it's quite all right, actually.)

#ask #three-magpies-in-a-trenchcoat #i had a few cases of writer's block when writing BVDP and ended up deleting like a 5 page scene and starting from scratch #and u know what? it worked #excuse the long post i had Thoughts

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untroubledkiss · 4 years ago

Note

If this is too personal, just ignore me. 🙈 I saw that you have ADHD and I was wondering if you have any advice for someone who has a close friend who just discovered she has ADHD? Thank you ~ 🤍✨🤗

Hi! It took me a bit of time to answer you—not because it was too personal, but because I'm the one with ADHD, and it wasn't easy putting into words the kind of support I would need.

I need a lot of stimuli, which for someone who is neurotypical might be annoying, but in my case, it helps me concentrate. At times, I can't even follow a conversation if I'm not chewing gum, drinking something, or playing some ambient noise. If your friend is struggling, allow her to have her own preferred stimulus. Your time together will be even more enjoyable (for both of you!)

Support her in her weird pastimes. I go through hobbies like no one else. In the span of a weekend, I can decide to learn everything there is to know about spaceships, to then never think about the sky again for four months. If your friend suddenly decides to talk to you about ceramics for three hours, listen to her!

ADHD has a way to mess up with time perception, and I often run out of time; I struggle with dates and can't always achieve all my tasks. So this might actually take some time to put into place, but try to better understand her and her ADHD. Be there for your friend if she has any issues with distraction or getting started on something. I'm often frustrated or feeling helpless with my own inability to accomplish something.

Be careful of her mood swings. Depending on the days, I can either excessively talk and hum - or get upset and angry if people don't shut up. It won't mean your friend is mad at you or your group of friends. She'll just be frustrated, and I can assure you both it will pass.

On another note, if you ever watch a movie together or play games: concentrating is hard so she might look disinterested! You can ask your friend if she wants to do something else, take a break, or talk for a few.

As a final note, I'd like to add that ADHD is different for everyone. We all have our struggles and medication needs. I'm no expert, and this is all from my own experience. Just remember that your friend isn't crazy: her behavior and thoughts might sometimes be different, but they're not necessarily wrong or negative.

#adhd #adhd adult #adhd studyblr #actually adhd #i really hope this helps ♡#about me #asks ♡

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earthstellar · 4 years ago

Text

MTMTE HALLOWEEN 2020 FIC: Costume Party

SUMMARY:

Rodimus sets up an Earth style Halloween costume party at Swerve’s to help boost the crew’s morale. Things get a little... weird, when they start to behave like the creatures their costumes represent.

PAIRINGS:

Rodimus/Megatron and Drift/Ratchet

WARNINGS:

It’s spooky, there is some talk regarding Drift’s traumas, and there is bloodshed/violence in a very creepy way. Please be careful and do not read if you are potentially upset by suggestive violence, blood, etc.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

I was unable to finish or edit this on time for Halloween; I’ll post the final version to AO3 when it’s ready, but for now, here’s what I have! Enjoy the preview!

Rodimus was happy to let Swerve host a Human Halloween event in the bar.

Swerve had wanted to do it for a while, but evidently had to wait for the right Earth season despite the Lost Light being absolutely nowhere near Earth. Rodimus agreed that they could use something fun and distracting to lift the spirits of the crew after a somewhat bad supply pickup had gone south and resulted in a thankfully brief dry spell as they'd had to go without their usual ship wide energon supply, resulting in the bar being shuttered for the duration until they were able to stop at Hedra Nine for a full restocking.

Ultra Magnus had been the only one pleased at the brief closure of Swerve's bar, as it certainly cut down on his workload, but it was unfortunately Ultra Magnus that had to be convinced of the idea. Hence the emergency command meeting currently underway.

"So explain to me again the purpose of this holiday." Delivered in a flat tone, Ultra Magnus never failed to intimidate.

As usual, Ultra Magnus loomed over the relatively small table positioned in the centre of the room, where Rodimus, Drift, and Megatron sat with some research in hand on various data pads, as well as some footage from Rewind and Swerve's collection of human media.

Rodimus, undaunted, continued his pitch.

"It originally started as a folk religious practice around appeasing the spirits of the dead and keeping ghosts, the spirits of deceased humans, from haunting homes and towns. Essentially. But in modern Earth context, it's all about having fun, dressing up as scary or silly characters and getting to relax a bit during a time of year that Earth people relate with darkness, bad weather, that kind of thing. It makes people happy during what were traditionally difficult times. I think we could use something interesting and fun to get the crew back into better spirits after that mess we had to deal with in the Astreus System. See? Fun can have a logical purpose: To improve crew morale. It’s… fun, Mags. People tend to enjoy it. I think it'll be fine."

Rodimus leaned back in his chair and grinned, sure that he had made a strong case. Megatron was absorbed in a data pad featuring a collection of human myths and tales about the holiday, centred around the origins of the modern practice as it was the most relevant information, although he was interested in the older history of the celebration and where such practices may have come from.

Megatron was surprised by the depth and complexity of the human holiday. He was still getting over some of his lingering prejudice towards organics; Reading up on their cultures and history was one way to root out what was left of his more harmful mindset. The best cure for ignorance was often simple research, after all… Orion Pax would be proud. He nearly laughed at the thought.

But he found himself looking forward to Swerve’s little seasonal party, even if there were no seasons per se to celebrate out in open space. Rodimus had made a good point; The crew could certainly use the distraction, and Rung had advised him to try new things that had no associations with any past memories or experiences as part of something they were trying in therapy. He wasn’t exactly excited for it, but it could tolerate it. Especially with Rodimus also in attendance; Undoubtedly most of the attention would be drawn away from him, at least.

Ultra Magnus was completely still, a telltale sign that he was considering something, running through his extensive memory storage of ship protocols and broader applicable legislation in the hopes of finding something that could possibly mitigate any poor outcomes— Rodimus had won, it would certainly help crew morale and such intentions were covered by rules regarding health and safety of passengers and crew members. Fair play.

The bulletin from Swerve, once approved, had been sent out to everyone on board. The event was fairly simple, a marathon of various Halloween themed human movies, followed by a costume party at the bar. Teams of three were allowed to submit group costumes for judgement by a panel led by Ultra Magnus, partially because it was the only way to get him to participate and partially because it was the only way to have a judged competition without anyone complaining of unfairness.

The mood had immediately improved, with the Lost Light buzzing about costume design ideas and speculating on who was joining whose team and what the chances of winning might be.

Rodimus beamed, happy for all the chatter and gossip. His crew was happy, so he was happy. And Megatron was invested as well, glad to go along with it, enjoying the literature about it. He couldn't be more excited for the event; He trusted Swerve to make it as extravagant as possible, despite the limitations of their supplies on board and what little in the way of textile fabrics they could find and pick up from smaller stop-overs at various stations operated by organics along the way prior to the day.

Rodimus had been concerned about the cost, but Drift was enamoured with the spiritual background of the holiday, and seemed all too willing to provide the spare shanix for anything they could find for the crew.

So far, it had been going incredibly well. Rodimus was excited himself, as he couldn't wait to see everyone's final costumes, but the idea of Megatron getting a break to genuinely enjoy something with him brought warmth to his spark, making it spin even faster in its casing.

"Okay, everybody! We had a lot of interest in the costume aspect of this whole thing, but it seems only three teams actually came together to participate in the judged competition. However, most of you have turned up in costume anyway, so it all works out! The judging will go faster and you can all guzzle down some of the special drinks on the menu for tonight only. Welcome to Swerve's, and Happy Human Halloween!"

Leave it to Swerve to kick off the night in style; The doors were thrown open and bots rushed in, claiming booths and seats at the bar, some mild squabbling already starting but quickly dialled back under the watchful eye of Ultra Magnus, who had refused to wear a costume and was fully on duty as usual from his judge's perch near a makeshift stage Perceptor and Brainstorm had thrown together from spare lab materials.

Nobody had seen anyone's costumes prior to the night, so there was a significant amount of ooing and ahhing over the most successful looks, providing a great distraction for the costume contest participants to slip mostly unnoticed behind the stage setup, preparing for the reveal to the judging panel: Ultra Magnus, Chromedome, and Cyclonus.

As the bar continued to fill up and the noise levels increased, Swerve put on a specially composed mix tape for the ambient music that his extensive research had stated was sure to be a success:

Something called the "Munsters Theme" kicked off the night, and things still appeared to be moving ahead as planned, all in attendance having a good night, and the Lost Light hummed with friendly chatter.

The three costume competition teams ended up being

There was the Command Coven, consisting of Rodimus, Megatron, and Drift with witch themed costumes. Drift was more than happy to provide crystal necklaces and little wands for each of them, each designed to replicate gemstones found on Earth, with Megatron's being amethyst, Rodimus adorned in carnelian, and Drift himself wearing amazonite.

He had chosen the colours and designs in accordance with his Spectralist beliefs, as well as something Swerve had shown him called "mood boards" from Earth social data nets, which had kept him up well past his usual recharging hours. It seemed to not have impacted him at all for how thrilled he was at the excuse to dive into human spiritual practices, although he faltered somewhat at the sight of the next team's arrival...

The Medbay had submitted a team, largely thanks to Drift constantly bothering Ratchet about it, with Ratchet himself as well as First Aid and Velocity appearing in vampire themed costumes. They had no team name because Ratchet couldn't be bothered, and was more concerned about the medbay being largely unattended during the event... Although begrudgingly, he did admit to Drift that having the central medical staff immediately on hand in the bar probably wasn't all that bad of an idea.

And the final team, the Minibot Monsters, consisted of Tailgate as a swamp monster, Rewind as a mummy, and Swerve himself, wearing the world's least convincing werewolf costume.

Swerve was the only person with two costumes, so as not to reveal his "true" costume too early in the night; What he was wearing while manning the bar and letting people in was something inspired by Gomez from the Addams Family, although nobody else on board got the reference save for Rewind, who was suddenly upset they hadn't picked that as their group theme. Tailgate was just thrilled to have shiny scales temporarily detailed over his paint job, lending a shimmering effect to his every move.

Back stage, the teams began to intermingle a bit, although mindful of not violating any of Ultra Magnus' rules about potentially spoiling the integrity of the judging process by helping other teams with costumes and so on for about fifty pages.

Drift took in Ratchet's costume, approaching a bit too tenderly for it to be the effect of any engex he may have consumed before hand. It set off Ratchet's diagnostics coding, returning a reading of increased anxiety indicated by signs of ever so slightly rising energon consumption levels as Drift's fuel pump started to rev at a slightly elevated rate, as well as a touch of fatigue from Drift's lack of recharge time beforehand.

"What's wrong? Are you afraid of losing?" Ratchet teased him, but only gently, probing to see where Drift was mentally at the moment. Did dressing up have bad connotations on Rodion? Was Drift relating this to some disguise or situation from his past that was potentially upsetting? Ratchet was ready to leave at any time, stress over an unmanned medbay lingering in the back of his processor; He'd be happy to grab Drift and go if need be.

"I uh, you just did a really good job with your costumes is all. I mean I expected the cloaks and all that stuff, it looks good on you by the way! But the denta..."

Ah.

Ratchet shuffled a bit. "Yes, apparently Velocity found in her preparatory reading that human vampire lore emphasises pointed denta. They--"

Drift interrupted, looking at the ground, looking anywhere but Ratchet's face. "They siphon their energon, or whatever human stuff, blood, from living people. They're siphonists. Like I used to be, way back, when I needed to get fuel, and... And they're evil."

Immediately, Ratchet realised that of course, Drift would associate the vampire fangs with so much suffering from his own past, with cruel comments and judgements forced on him by bots who had no idea what it was like to starve or have to turn to any viable alternative to survive, including taking energon directly from the fuel lines of others.

He raised up his hands towards Drift, testing to see if he'd be welcome for a hug. Drift looked up a bit and smiled, stepping into Ratchet's arms and accepting a brief embrace before Ratchet pulled back to look him in the eyes, hands still lingering on his upper arms.

"Listen, Drift. If this is too much for you, we can go. I can go, you don't have to miss anything. I can take this all off and it's an easy fix; It's a minor procedure to numb and file them back down, and of course we were going to do it afterwards anyway. Velocity thought it would be more realistic if we just went ahead and altered our denta for the sake of it, but I should have thought more about how that might affect you. I--"

Drift leaned up to quickly kiss Ratchet, immediately jerking his head back with eyes wide, seemingly having not fully registered the fangs that met his until they physically pressed against one another, before giving a shakey smile.

"No, it's okay. I just wasn't ready for it. The thought of you having to resort to... Anything like that, it makes my spark hurt. It reminds me of a lot of things I don't like about how I had to get through some hard times, you know? But I don't want you to go. I want you here. Plus... Now we match, right?"

Leave it to Drift to try to power through something so significantly distressing to him. Ratchet appreciated the effort, but saw right through it.

"I mean it, if this bothers you, I'm ready to get back to the medbay, undo it, and we can hit the bar again together later once things have eased up a bit, no problem. The humans might think vampires are evil, and a lot of bots might think siphonists are... Frightening, but I need you to know that they're not the same thing. People are often wrong about what they don't understand, and you only did what you had to in order to survive. And I'm glad you did it. If you hadn't, you wouldn't be here. With me, at a party that will be fun if you still want to go through with all this."

Drift optics gradually returned to their usual brightness, his signs of anxiety slowly disappearing on Ratchet's constant scans, putting him at ease as well.

"Thank you, Ratchet. I'll be okay once the shock wears off. I think it's a good costume choice, and you really do look good in the cloak. The black makes your white paint look brighter! And it's fun to think of all the spooky human stories... And some of our own too, I guess. Imagine, a siphonst medic! You would't have any patients, that's for sure." Drift smiled, making a point to flash his own fangs. Clearly he'd recovered from the initial shock, although Ratchet decided he might try to talk it out with him at some point when they weren’t caught up in all this. He didn't want Drift to suffer any blows to his self-esteem, or fall back into a trauma related depression, even a relatively minor one. He was glad Rung had a positive policy for booking short notice sessions, which reassured him a bit. Any problems, they could all work it out together.

"Well, I think anyone who needs a doctor badly enough is willing to go to whatever doctor happens to be around, in my experience. Siphonist or not. And are you calling my paint job dull? I'll have you know I polished my armour for this. Or First Aid did, at least. He was insistent that we represent the medical team as best as possible."

"Seems like he's learning some things from you about professionalism, Mister No Crystals in the Medbay."

"Hey, Ultra Magnus agreed with me. It violates... Some rule."

"Sure it does."

It was finally time for the costume contest, and

"What happened? What happened? Hey! Someone else get up already!" Rodimus wasn't one to panic, but he was maybe actually slightly panicking. A little bit.

After the Great Sword had reacted to Drift's incantation, everyone had experienced simultaneous processor reset from the energy surge, and it was taking some time for people to come around from the harsh and unexpected reboot.

It seemed everyone in the bar had been affected by the wave, not dissimilar to an electromagnetic pulse, with bots slumped over their tables, a few leaning precariously over the bar, and others laying on top of each other where there had been only standing room left.

Rodimus had been the first to wake, having fallen into a draped position half over Megatron and half pressed into the makeshift stage curtain, briefly tangled in his distress over waking up and feeling... Odd.

He felt like his spark was super charged, like he had ingested far too much high grade energon and was borderline frying his own circuits. It was like his fuses had been blown, but a quick self-diagnostic came back completely normal, nothing out of the ordinary, everything working fine.

His sensory input felt magnified somehow, like he was feeling the EM fields of everyone in the bar at a hundred fold.

It wasn't bad. Just very, very odd. Which was never a good indicator of anything, the way things tended to go on the Lost Light.

He briefly considered paging the medbay, when he caught the passed out shaped of Ratchet and Drift together in the centre of the stage; Ratchet must have picked up on whatever was happening and had made a dive for Drift, resulting in both of them clattering to the ground on top of each other.

Everyone he would turn to for help had also been affected; There was no

"Megatron, wake up!"

—-

"Ratchet, oh Primus, please, are you okay?" Drift had finally woken up, exhausted by his lack of recharge on top of the huge surge of energy that had burst forth from the Great Sword, which was connected somehow to his spark energy... He was drained, but determined to get a response out of Ratchet before he could even consider his own wellbeing.

"Ratchet! Get up! Something's happened with the sword, and it's my fault, and I don't know what happened!" Genuine fear started to seep into his vocaliser, which was likely what finally jarred Ratchet back into awareness.

"...Drift? Are you alright?" Ratchet's voice was low and rough, still drowsy from the forced reboot. Drift knelt further down to help get a grip under Ratchet's shoulders to keep him from slumping over again, being careful of anywhere that may have been injured as he collapsed.

"My scans are showing me you’re fine, but I think I need to run a diagnostic on myself... I feel like I haven't refuelled in Primus knows how long. My fuel tank was reasonably topped up before this, is anyone else experiencing similar symptoms...?" Ratchet was slowly regaining his bearings, relying less on Drift for balance once being sat upright, although they both remained seated with their legs tucked under them in the middle of the stage. Drift felt he could relax ever so slightly now that Ratchet was responsive enough to be engaging his medical protocols.

"We all feel a bit strange. Me and Roddy feel overcharged almost, like having two sparks in one frame. It’s… intense, but manageable. Megatron is still out, and Roddy seems to be more charged up than I am. It might be a Matrix thing with him, we don't know. My fuel levels are good, feeling the opposite of drained right now. Our internal diagnostics are coming back normal, but that's clearly wrong. Any ideas?"

Ratchet was slow to reply. He was never slow to reply, not when it came to medical matters.

"Ratchet?" Drift grabbed Ratchet's shoulders, preparing to brace him and lay him out gently in case he lost consciousness again.

"Drift, I need you to listen to me carefully. I don't know what happened. I don't know what's happening now. I can't identify any apparent problems in my own self-diagnostics, aside from the erroneous fuel tank level discrepancy. I'm not leaking fuel from anywhere, I'm not burning it off any faster than usual. I'd need access to the medbay for more in-depth scans, but I don't think it's a good idea to be wandering the halls right now. We should keep this contained to the incident area as much as we can..." As he continued to speak, Ratchet looked more and more stressed, more concerned. And that concerned Drift.

"What are you getting at, why are the halls unsafe? Do you think this is some kind of attack? It originated from my Great Sword, it was... I think it was the incantation. It had to be. Ultra Magnus made sure the threat level was at a minimum--"

"No. I think that if we went out there, we'd be making the halls dangerous ourselves. Don't you feel that?"

Drift felt his spark grind to a halt.

"What are you talking about? I feel fine, I feel suspiciously better than fine. Are you okay? Are you dizzy?"

"...No. I'm energy depleted. I need fuel." Ratchet leaned forward until they were pressed flush against each other, their knees touching in their kneeled position on the stage, chests touching right over their spark chambers. Drift kept his hands rested on Ratchet's shoulders, grip light, unsure of what to do.

When suddenly, and with all the strength of a field medic frame, Ratchet leaned in and closed the rest of the distance, pushing Drift backwards to the floor so his knees lifted from their bent position and his legs splayed out under Ratchet, who was now so close to laying across the top of him that it nearly took Drift's breath away.

Ratchet whispered directly against Drift's neck cables, close enough to his audials that it made Drift's spinal strut shiver and lock up. "I need warm fuel. I need your fuel.”

Drift immediately froze. This didn't sound like Ratchet. This couldn't be Ratchet. Because Ratchet would never make him feel this vulnerable, he would never do this. Ratchet isn't a siphonist...

...Or he wasn't before whatever just happened, happened.

"Don't do this!" Drift had intended to scream it, but it came out as a whimper that only Ratchet could hear as his breath was taken away by the pointed denta scrapping gently along the central fuel lines in the side of his neck, just above his collar plating and below the corner of his tilted helm, as Ratchet’s glossa searched for the most medically sound place to puncture the lines and begin to siphon fuel.

Imagining Ratchet's mouth full of his energon, still hot from being cycled through his systems, Ratchet’s face swirling the fuel around his fangs and smiling at him in sick contentment the way Drift knew he himself had done to others in his past filled him with a level of dread and distress that he didn't know he was still capable of feeling.

He tried to roll to knock Ratchet off balance, but he was now pinned beneath the medic, whose wider frame was made for detaining unruly patients and built to cope with such resistance. The moment had only caused Ratchet to get a better glimpse at his central fuel lines, Drift's neck having flexed in the process, encouraging a small thrilled hum from Ratchet that terrified Drift straight to the spark.

He couldn't let Ratchet do this. He wouldn't let him become a siphonist. Ratchet is a good mech, a kind-hearted mech, and Drift refused to imagine what would happen if Ratchet drained him of fuel and snapped out of whatever this was and hated himself the way Drift had hated himself...

...But at the same time, they were in a room full of vulnerable and disoriented bots. Many of whom had still not fully rebooted and had no chance of putting up any defence at all. If Ratchet was under some spell, or whatever was happening, then there was no guarantee that he would be able to be restrained, or that he could restrain himself, from simply going after someone else.

Drift realised in horror that if Ratchet didn't get his fuel fix from him, right now, he would likely just hurt someone else while in this trance-like state, focused solely on satisfying a feral hunger... Drift could at least relate, and was awake enough to consent as much as possible under the circumstances, and it didn't take all that much effort for Drift to talk himself into going limp.

As he rested back flat against the stage floor, Ratchet briefly froze, giving Drift a flash of hope that he was coming to his senses, that his medical protocols were overriding whatever this was and that he would immediately jump off and apologise and demand another systems check before they started working out whatever was going on.

But instead, Ratchet made some awful little low trilling noise, lowering more of the weight of his frame against Drift's chest, and whispered into his neck: "Your vents are spewing out so much heat. Your fuel will be so warm in my mouth. Listen to my voice, Drift. You know how much you mean to me. I won't hurt you, I'll never hurt you. I'm a medic. I want you to feel good, be healthy. Forever. I want you to feel the way I do."

Drift was caught between old traumas and the trauma currently unfolding. He had no response, cleansing fluid building up behind his optics, threatening to cloud his vision and steam up his lenses from the inside from all the heat his rapidly spinning spark was generating throughout his systems.

He vaguely became aware of some almighty commotion happening somewhere in the bar, but he didn't dare attempt to move. He couldn't have even if he tried. It was painful hearing Ratchet like this, the kind voice worn by age that he was familiar with tainted by something rough and sinister, for all the friendliness it still contained.

"Did you read all the human myths, or just about the crystals? It seems the Earth vampires can turn another human into one by sharing blood, their energon. After I take a sip from you, would you bite into me? Or would you prefer if I clean cut one of my fuel lines for you to suck on? Would you do that for me? We match, after all.” Drift could feel Ratchet flash a wide smile into the side of his neck.

Ratchet's voice was starting to have some kind of cognitive effect on Drift's processor, numbing him to the waves of anxiety and making the noises in the bar seem even further away, sinking him into Ratchet's grip, making it impossible to activate his own vocaliser.

"We could be together forever, Drift. No more flitting in and out of each others lives. Security. Safety. Stability."

With Drift completely flattened beneath him, helm lolled to the side and central fuel line finally exposing the medically ideal spot to place a bite, Ratchet was satisfied. He leaned in and sunk his pointed denta into the perfect centre of the line, immediately creating a suction and drawing a swift stream of warm energon into his mouth, a deep moan from Drift weakly rising from beneath his grasp--

--And at that moment, Rodimus with immense precision drew down a bar stool leg directly into Ratchet's helm, the metallic clang echoing through the room as Ratchet’s head was forced away from Drift’s neck, a pool of energon steaming up from the tear in the central fuel line, ripped open further by Ratchet’s pointed denta never having had the chance to loosen the bite first.

Rodimus quickly put himself between Drift and Ratchet, kicking Ratchet in the shoulder to create more distance while avoiding harming him as much as possible before turning to face Drift.

“Primus, Drift, we shouldn’t have left you two alone, some of the others started waking up and Megatron’s still struggling a little with the hard reboot, are you okay? Drift?”

Drift barely registered what Rodimus was panicking about as he was only gradually coming out of whatever state Ratchet had put him in. He felt like his temperature regulator has to be malfunctioning now, or perhaps he had just lost too much heat from pushing himself too hard and venting off too much of the heated air that speedster frames tended to build up.

Setting himself upright, he relied on Rodimus for support, immediately showing the tear in his fuel line, optics slightly foggy and looking off to the side. “I need to wrap this up… It’s not as bad as it could be, but it really is, isn’t it? What’s wrong with Ratchet, Roddy?” It was hard to hear Drift’s voice, usually so lively and firm, take a low and demure tone made rough by the damage to his neck.

They both looked over to where Ratchet had been unceremoniously kicked on his back, Rodimus continuing to stay tensed and alert in front of Drift in case Ratchet tried to make another move.

Cautiously, Rodimus spoke up as his right hand helped Drift hold the fuel line edges together; Rodimus winced at how much it must hurt, but Drift was making no complaints as it was slowly and carefully wrapped by some previously subspaced tape. In fact, Drift seemed… Sad, more than scared. He was being too quiet, moving too little even considering his injury, and his EM field was full of exhaustion and distress.

“What the hell happened? Ratchet, you… I didn’t hit you that hard, did I? Can you answer me? What were you doing?” He wanted to ask why, but one thing at a time. He suspected that Ratchet didn’t know the answer to that last one, and Rodimus didn’t want to press someone who was potentially unstable and clearly dangerous at the moment. He pressed his back closer to Drift, fully ready to defend him if needed.

Rodimus took in Ratchet’s crumpled pose, still laid out where he had been kicked back, a look of absolute shock and strain on his face as his fists curled tightly against the stage floor, steaming energon dipping from around his slightly open mouth in small pools as he ex-vented heavily.

As Ratchet shook his helm a bit, he replied with an absolutely wrecked voice, as if it had been his vocaliser nearly ripped out instead of Drift’s. “I, Rodimus, I don’t know how long I’ll be lucid for. My fuel tank levels are registering within perfectly normal levels, but it feels like I’m being constantly drained, like I’m losing fuel from a leak that doesn’t exist—“

“So you put a leak in Drift?” Rodimus knew he shouldn’t have said anything as Ratchet’s head whipped up and stared him directly in the optics, the shattered look on his face so unfamiliar on Ratchet’s features that it startled Rodimus to see it.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My scans are coming back fine, all of them, I can’t find what’s wrong.” Real panic was seeping into Ratchet’s vocaliser, a bizarre and awful contrast to his usual calm steadiness even in the worst of situations. “You don’t understand, Rodimus, whatever energy the Great Sword released has altered my systems, perhaps everyone’s systems… Drift said you both felt overcharged, but I feel energy depleted, and it’s doing something to my processor. I feel so strange and— And Drift.”

The entire time he spoke, without his knowledge, his glossa lightly flicked out here and there to catch some spare flecks of Drift’s energon that had settled around his mouth. It set off a sick feeling in Rodimus’ spark, as it was clear Ratchet genuinely couldn’t help it, as if his coding had gone severely wrong somewhere. It reminded him of a cyberfox licking its paws after a hunt. It was too unrefined and subtly animalistic for a bot like Ratchet. It looked wrong, it felt wrong, and he could feel a surge of concerned sadness burst forth from Drift’s EM field behind him. Evidently he’d finished wrapping his fuel line and was now focused on Ratchet.

Ratchet noticed and finally moved, only slightly to avoid startling Rodimus into unnecessary action, as he picked up on Drift’s distressed EM signals.

“Drift, Primus, are—“ Ratchet’s optics went wide and he jerked back oddly, not moving from his place lest Rodimus make a move, but as though he were torn so completely that he couldn’t move. “—My medical protocols demand your neck be examined. If I do it, I don’t know what I’ll do. Where’s Velocity and First Aid?”

—-

Megatron bellowed across the bar, “They’re behaving oddly, get ready to fight them off!”

—-

"Drift, we're medics. We know where to bite to take the most energon straight from the central fuel line the fastest. I just did it to you, and being ripped free like that can rip the cable lining and weaken the integrity of the fuel line under pressure. It ruptures and causes a major bleed. It can kill someone. It will kill someone. If at any point we start failing to restrain ourselves, you have to incapacitate us. Tie us up. Do whatever. We are officially dangerous until this is resolved. I can't say my behaviour will be predictable, or sensible."

He then turned abruptly to Rodimus and Megatron, Ultra Magnus off to his opposite side, ready to intervene if needed.

"One of you, or both of you, I am asking you to do whatever you need to do if I go after Drift again. If I go for his central fuel lines again, he's already damaged. Another bite will weaken the line structure, its integrity will fail, and he will lose too much energon to be within safe levels. His nanites will take far too long to repair a gash that size. Please."

Ratchet hung his head, avoiding everyone's optics.

"I am a medic. I heal bots. I don't kill them.

---

AND THAT’S AS FAR AS I GOT, I hope to finish this up and edit it for AO3 soon, Happy Halloween!

#Halloween #MTMTE #transformers fic #ll #maccadam #maccadams #dratchet #megarod

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cancerbiophd · 4 years ago

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Hello! I'd like some advice on how to focus? I have this problem, that I realise in my third year of undergrad, that I get so jumpy when reading papers? Like, I'd sit down and try to read an article but my brain will jump at a word and then I'll open a new tab to search that up, without finishing the first paper. I also realise that when I'm writing essays, with given topics, I cannot focus on the topic and jump around and end up procrastinating, and that affects the quality of my writing.

Hello anon! Thanks for being patient in waiting for this answer!

Before I get into tips on how I personally deal with this, I highly recommend considering seeing your doctor about your mental wellbeing, because there may be something physiological underlying these issues (that may have just popped up, which happens!). The key to my suggestion is that you say it’s affecting the quality of moments in your life (eg. your work). It’s my personal philosophy that if something is negatively affecting the quality of any aspect in my life, then I definitely need to address it. Another way to see it: a 1 hour doctor visit changing your life for the better forever vs. all those hours wasted being unproductive and feeling miserable. And I don’t think you (or anyone) deserves the latter.

In addition, if the root of all this lies in something biological, then no amount of mindset changes or new habits will help (in fact, they may even just lead to more frustration if they don’t work).

I know going to the doctor is scary in the time of Covid, but tele-medicine is becoming more common now, so that’s an option you can look into!

Ok, now for small tips that have helped me stay focused on my task at hand. These are just what work for me, and may not work for everyone, but if something sounds intriguing to you, give it a try and see how it goes!

I have an inner voice that keeps me on track. It narrates what I need to do, when I need to do it. When a task gets overwhelming (like writing an entire PhD dissertation, which I just finished!), it talks me through a step-by-step guide, one point at a time. Like, “Ok, first, open up the file folder. Next, click on the document to open that up. Let’s focus on the edits on this paragraph first, and this paragraph only. Alright, click Accept Change...” stuff like that. It’ll take time though; that voice didn’t pop up immediately. To help your inner voice along, you may need to begin by talking out loud.

Related, I break down large overwhelming tasks, like writing an essay, into smaller bite-size mini steps. “Write a 5-page essay!” is ugh, no, horrible, can’t do it, brain gone. But, “Write down your thesis and 3 main supporting arguments first” is much easier to get the ball rolling. If you’re unsure of how to break a task, like writing an essay, into small doable steps, I recommend asking for advice from your professor, TA, campus writing resource, fellow classmate, friend, parent, etc.

Do the easy tasks first, like a warm-up for your brain. I personally find it helps get the ball rolling because I get to ride that high of having accomplished something, and I use it to build momentum towards my harder tasks. For example, when I get a wall of edits back from my PI on my dissertation, I click through the “Accept Changes” first (so the little minor edits), and then go and address larger tasks, like rewriting entire sections.

Block virtual distractions, like social media, with website blockers, or even hide your phone somewhere (or give it to someone to hold on to until your break, or until you’re done with a small task). This personally doesn’t work for me (not taking micro-breaks to check social media actually makes me less focused), but you could give it a try.

Here are some specific tips on how to read a paper efficiently (and ones regarding focusing near the end)

Have some background noise. My lab manager can’t focus on a task on hand properly unless she has some background music/show playing--that’s just how she works efficiently to keep from being distracted, and sometimes I’m the same way. Some days I feel like I have two parts to my brain--one trying to get stuff done and the other who is super fidgety and easily distracted. So sometimes I just need to preoccupy the fidgety part with white noise, music, background TV show/livestream/etc. This may be why some people work better in public spaces like libraries and cafe’s. I really like the RelaxMelodies app to create my own soundscape (you can mix and match sounds like rain, campfire, wind through trees, etc). Ambient-Mixer has a lot of great user-made mixes too, like this Sunday Brunch one.

Make sure your physical body is well-taken care of, and that includes a full belly, plenty of hydration, a good sleep schedule (or as good as you can get in college), a regular exercise routine, other health issues in check, etc. A severe lack of any of those things may diminish our brain’s ability to function properly, and thus focus. If food scarcity is a challenge anyone faces in college, some universities have university food pantries with free food for students. Here is also a free cookbook on how to eat well on $4/day.

Links to other tips:

3 easy steps to focus when you don’t want to (The last one would probably work well for you!)

Study tips for days when you can’t focus by @jeonchemstudy

How to stop procrastinating (many of them have to do with focusing on a task at hand)

If anyone has anything else to add that has worked for you, please do!

I hope things improve for you anon. Good luck! If there’s anything else I can help you with, let me know.

#Anonymous #study advice

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shibereshu · 4 years ago

Text

come over — Lee Seungjoon [J-US]

<< prev | [PART 3]

this is finally the last part ! i’m a little sad to end this because i really really really enjoyed writing it !! it made me feel very happy but welp !! maybe that means i should write more often- i’ll try my best sjfndsj i really liked this part and with this fic i reached my goal of writing a scenario that’s over 12k words! (the sum of the three parts is over 13k) i’m proud of myself for writing so much. i hope you guys like this !!

You walked out of your dorm and locked the door. It still felt a little weird not to have to say bye to your roommate when you were going to go out, to not hear her tell you to take care and have fun with that especially excited voice when the reason you were leaving was to go on a date with Seungjoon. She, as well as most of your friends, had gone back to her hometown to spend a few weeks with her family now that it was summer break. You wouldn’t be going back to yours in a while, but it wasn’t all that bad. At least you had Seungjoon to be with if you ever felt lonely. He had offered for you to stay over at his dorm quite a few times instead of staying alone at yours, but you had always kindly rejected it, for no specific reason. Actually, being alone sometimes was very peaceful and, as mentioned before, you could still have him or even Joochan to turn to if you wanted to spend time with someone.

You were enjoying the beginning of your summer break, getting to spend time on all your hobbies, on resting, on going to the places you really liked, on going to those same places you really liked with the person you really liked… Summer was treating you nicely and you hoped it’d stay that way. You actually had big hopes for it; an unforgettable summer full of experiences that in the future you’d get to reminisce about with a smile on your face.

You heard a door closing near you, and looking to your right you saw Seungjoon near the end of the hallway, walking away from the door of his own dorm and towards yours while looking down to his phone. He probably didn’t see you were already there. You held in a giggle and waited silently for him to get closer, and once he was a few steps away, you let out a loud “Boo!”. He let out a short high-pitched scream and almost let his phone slip from his hand from the fright. He looked at you with a shocked expression, still getting over the scare and you laughed. When he processed everything and realised you had been there all along and tried -successfully- to scare him, he whined and even pouted a little.

—”You’re mean to me…” —He complained, although you knew he didn’t mean it and he was exaggerating it so that you would compensate it.— “Back when we went to the aquarium too, you kept laughing when I got scared of that one video of the shark breaking the glass…” —You almost laughed again when you remembered that scene, but instead decided to take the last two steps to him and wrap your arms around his torso, hugging him tightly.

—”I’m sorry…” —You said, trying to sound apologetic enough even though the smile was quite obvious on your face. He couldn’t stop a short laugh from slipping past his lips.— “Am I forgiven?” —Seungjoon hummed as if he was thinking about it.

—”I don’t know… I don’t know how sincere your apology is.” —You scoffed and then laughed before pulling away a little, enough to be able to place a kiss on his cheek. Then, you pressed yourself closer to him again, resting your head on his shoulder to hide your face on the crook of his neck. You were a little embarrassed about it, about how cheesy Seungjoon was and how cheesy he made you be, yet at the same time you were also a little happy because he made you happy.— “Okay, I forgive you.” —

You two pulled away and then he naturally reached to hold your hand before the two of you started making your way to where the two of you would have a little date that day. The day of your first date, you had felt like the way your hands fit with each other’s was made to be, but you were still a little scared sometimes that you would blink and open your eyes to find out it had all been a beautiful dream, that the way he expressed his feelings to you just through the look in his eyes or the memory of his lips on yours on your first date had all never happened in reality. As if it was all too good to be true.

This time you would be going to a water park. Kee and Joochan had wanted to go too, but Kee couldn’t because she wouldn’t be back on time from the few days she’d be visiting her family. That’s why Joochan decided to stay home and go on another occasion with her, no matter how much both you and Seungjoon had insisted that it was okay for him to come.

You two had to walk to the bus stop since the waterpark was around the outskirts of the city. The ride was over 20 minutes long, and for the first half the bus was really crowded and the two of you had to stand up. Even if you were holding onto the safety handle, Seungjoon kept arm loosely wrapped around your waist to make sure he could catch you if something like a sharp curve made you lose your balance. After some people got down you two could finally seat down.

When you got there you saw there wasn’t a lot of people in queue despite it being early and a very hot summer day. You wondered if there just wouldn’t be a lot of people at the park or if maybe they were mostly inside already. You didn’t really mind either, but a good amount of people would make a good ambient. While you waited on line to reach the ticket booth you noticed that you could actually hear the noise of the crowd inside but it came from far enough for you to not have noticed it earlier. When you could finally go in, you and Seungjoon made your way to the changing rooms to put on your swimwear and you met again outside.

—”Now we need to find a locker to put our stuff in.” — He said, and started walking around to look for one. You quickly found it and put your stuff in it, locking it and taking the key. It had a wristband so Seungjoon secured it on his wrist.

When you finally walked into the park itself, the two of you showed your shock at seeing just how big it was, sharing one long gasp. You didn’t expect it to be so impressive but seeing all those different kinds and heights of slides made the both of you super excited to try them all.

—”Which one do you want to try first?” —Seungjoon turned to look at you, but your eyes kept going from one point of the park to another considering all your choices. After a few seconds, you pointed to one of the slides. It seemed to be the highest one in the park and even from the entrance you two could see that there was a bit of queue to get on it.

—”Can we go on that one first?” —He laughed, almost sounding somewhat nervous.

—”So you wanna start strong, I see.” —You were about to say that you could try something else first if he prefered, or to just not go on that one if he happened to be afraid of it or something, but he started walking towards it.— “Aren’t you scared? It’s so high!” —

—”Hmm, somehow I’m not.” —You were actually a little surprised at yourself because extreme heights could be quite scary for you sometimes, yet somehow this didn’t feel dangerous enough to trigger any fear.

Seungjoon teasingly complimented how brave you were and you just laughed. By the time you got to the end of the queue, it had moved quite a bit from where it had been when you first looked it at it so you were not at the first step of the long stairs leading to the top of the slide. You’d probably be there for at least a few more minutes.

—”It’s so hot today.” —Seungjoon nodded and let out a sigh.

—”I hope the queue moves first so we can finally get on the slide and get on the pool.” —You agreed with him and looked up again. The closer you got to look at it, the higher it looked. Maybe you would get a little scared when you were at the very top, but you still hoped you wouldn’t.

—”I think we should have brought some sunscreen.” —You tried to distract yourself from your own thoughts, and it worked.

In fact, there was something that distracted you even better. Or should you say, someone.

—”Oh, right! I did bring it! But it’s in my bag, should we go get it now?” —You shook your head and were about to tell him that you might as well just wait, get on the slide at this point and then go get it. Looking behind the two of you, more people were coming so you didn’t want to go to the very end of the queue again and you were sure nothing would happen if you made it wait a few more minutes.

But before you could, the people in the step right in front and above yours turned around. They were two girls, and one smiled as she looked at Seungjoon and didn’t even spare you a glance, as if she didn’t even notice you were there.

—”Seungjoon? I thought I heard you, but what a surprise! What a coincidence that we’d bump into each other here!” —

You looked at the girl and then back at Seungjoon. He looked at you from the corner of his eye before responding to her and it was then that the girl finally took a look at you for a second, but she didn’t say anything.

—”Oh, yeah. How have you been?” —He asked politely. You knew a few of Seungjoon’s friends yet had never seen or heard of her, and that plus the tone of cordiality he was using made you assume it was someone that wasn’t as close to him as she pretended to be with her friendly way of speaking.

—”I’m good, but I must admit that seeing you here made my day even better~” —Your eyes widened a little at her words. Seungjoon didn’t say anything, but he looked like he just didn’t even know what to respond because he wasn’t expecting to hear that. The girl didn’t let the silence be prolonged for much longer before she spoke up again.— “How did you do in the exams?” —

—”They went well, I actually managed to pass everything. And you?” —

You bit your bottom lip to stay quiet, although you didn’t even have anything to say. She was probably her classmate and you weren’t going to interrupt his conversation. Yet when she spoke again, you looked back at her with your mouth slightly agape.

—”As expected of you! You’re so smart, I’m jealous! I actually failed a few subjects… But maybe you could… help me? I’m sure if you tutor me I’ll pass~ And of course, I would reward you for it…” —No one said anything, and you weren’t even looking at them, only lifting your head when she mentioned your presence.— “You’re not his girlfriend, right? So you won’t mind if Seungjoon helps me, right?” —

You looked at Seungjoon, then back at the girl -who for a second you thought was smirking at you along with her friend next to her- then back at him. You were starting to feel pretty uncomfortable, but it was clear that it was even worse for Seungjoon, yet the girl didn’t seem to catch the hint. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, the person in charge of this slide and who managed the queue when people reached the top spoke first, his voice loud to make himself heard.

—”The next two, you can go down now!” —

The girl looked like she still wanted to say something, and in the back of your head there were faint orders telling you to say something as well, but you could never. You didn’t know what you could say, or how to do it without sounding like you were overreacting and looking to start a fight. You let out of sigh of relief when the two girls had to go down the slide and so did Seungjoon. This time he wanted to say something to you, but he was interrupted once again before he could even start talking.

—”Okay, next two!” —You gave Seungjoon a small smile to let him know everything was okay and muttered a ‘let’s go’ before going up the last step and positioning yourselves on the two of the two slides.

He smiled back at you and the both of you looked down before finally laying back and letting yourselves slide down. With your eyes closed, you could hear even better Seungjoon’s loud voice as he screamed from the high speed at which you were sliding down, and you tried your best not to open your mouth to laugh because you didn’t know how close you were to the pool and you were sure you’d get water in your mouth if you did.

It lasted for around six seconds, and it felt so long yet so short. It was a lot of fun and if it wasn’t for the experience of having to wait all over again plus the fact that the girl had made the wait uncomfortable, and the fact that there were many more slides to try, you’d go up on it again.

When you finally resurfaced and wiped the water away from your eyes before opening them, you looked for Seungjoon. He wasn’t in front of you, or next to you, or behind you. You couldn’t even see him in the pool and it was impossible that he already got out of it.

You were about to call his name, when you felt something grab your foot and pull you down and back into the water, with less than a second for you to close your mouth and your eyes again. It quickly let go of you and you put your head out of the water as soon as you could, breathing the air you didn’t manage to take in before you were pulled in.

You heard Seungjoon laughing next to you and you gasped, still recovering from the fright.

—”Seungjoon, I get it, I’m sorry for laughing every time you get scared, but we should stop before one of us gets a hard attack.” —He laughed even harder and you couldn’t help but join him.

—”I hope you mean it and you don’t scare me again!” —He jokingly threatened once he stopped laughing, and then he looked around. Going silent, he pointed towards the edge of the pool closest to the two of you and started swimming towards it. You were a little confused, but you followed him.

The two of you got out from the pool and he grabbed your hand before walking away with quick steps. You saw him look back one more time and so you followed his gaze. It was then that you saw that one classmate of his again, looking around -probably looking for Seungjoon- and her friend as well.

Once the two of you were far enough from that area, you stopped and stood under the shade of one of the many beach umbrellas around the park. You were still trying to recover your breath from the slide, from Seungjoon trying to scare you to death and from almost running away from the girl that didn’t know the difference of an acquaintance and a friend and especially someone that wasn’t interested in her.

—”I’m sorry about what happened back there.” —You tilted your head slightly, not understanding why he was apologising to you.— “I didn’t know that she…” —He didn’t finish the sentence, and you knew Seungjoon enough to know that he didn’t do it because he felt it would sound cocky if he assumed that the girl liked him even if it was pretty obvious.— “She’s in a few of my classes but we haven’t really talked before? So I wasn’t expecting that, I’m sorry I didn’t tell her no right away.” —

You tightened the hold on his hand that was still holding yours and let out a giggle.

—”You don’t need to be sorry. I was also speechless. And I think even if you had tried to, she wouldn’t have let you talk, seeing how she just couldn’t stay quiet.” —Seungjoon responded that you were right and then looked at the other slides around you.

In front of the two of you, there was one that was covered contrary to how most of them were open-air, and had quite a few curves. You saw that the people coming out of it would always be two people, sitting on a big yellow floatie that had to spaces on it for both of them to use.

—”Do you wanna try that one?” —Seungjoon asked, and you nodded excitedly.

—”Yes! It looks fun!” —You took a step forward still holding his hand, but he didn’t move from his spot. You looked at him with curious eyes and he smiled gently before leaning in to peck your lips. You froze for a second, not expecting the sudden affection, but you giggled and didn’t say anything else. Then, the both of you made your way to the next slide.

Both of you were slowly starting to feel a little worn out, as if you had already spent most of your energy in the few hours you had been there. However, the two of you didn’t want to leave yet so you decided to just rest a little bit.

—”Oh! We forgot!” —Seungjoon suddenly exclaimed, and you tilted your head slightly in confusion, asking him what he meant.— “The sunscreen! We said we’d go get it after the first slide, but in the end we forgot.” —You let out a little gasp but then laughed. How could you two be so forgetful?

Well, probably that one girl helped you two get distracted, although it wasn’t completely fair to fully blame it on her, since you were sure your excitement to just have fun also added to it. Seungjoon grasped your hand for a second and looked around, probably to try and locate himself to know where he had to go to get to the lockers, although it was probably a little too late to apply the sunscreen, so in the end both of you decided not to go get it. You tried to speak up but your voice didn’t come out. You laughed at yourself for a second and licked your lips slightly to wet them. Your mouth was too dry.

—”Ah, I’m a little thirsty.” —You admitted, and Seungjoon looked back at you before saying that he too was feeling his throat a little too dry.

—”I’ll go buy us some drinks, okay?” —You nodded and then he squeezed your hand softly before he let go of it, walking away.

You watched as he got further and further away, and then walked closer to the edge of the nearest pool, sitting down on the edge and putting your feet in the water. The weather was so hot that even this wasn’t enough, so you got down and into the pool. You rested your forearms on the edge and then your head on top of them. You let out a deep sigh, feeling a little suffocated from the heat.

Looking in the direction Seungjoon had left, you couldn’t even see him anymore. Then, you heard the sound of the water waving (more than it was natural) next to you, and you looked to your right only to see a guy that you couldn’t recognise approaching you. You were pretty sure you had never seen him before. You took a quick look around you again, wondering if he was with someone and he was just swimming by, but when you looked back at him, he was just standing there next to you, a smile painted on his lips before he separated them to speak up.

—”Hey, did your friends leave you alone? How mean of them...” —He asked casually, and you cringed a little, immediately being able to tell what his intentions were.

Still, you started feeling pretty uncomfortable as he took a step closer to you in the pool, the water pushing against you. You swallowed and your throat felt dry again, probably not enough not to be able to talk, but still you couldn’t even bring yourself to say anything for a few seconds longer than you would have wanted to.

—”I- I’m actually here with…” —The guy raised his eyebrows, and you cursed yourself internally for even worrying about referring to Seungjoon as your boyfriend out loud for the first time, even when the two of you had never given that label to yourselves. You cleared your throat and then spoke up as confidently as you could. — “I’m here with my boyfriend.” —

You assumed he’d just give up and leave you alone after that, but he just let out a laugh which quickly seemed to blow away a lot of your courage.

—”Is that so? Then what a good boyfriend he is, leaving you alone like this!” —He exclaimed, the sarcasm obvious in his voice.— ”Why don’t you come with me? Let’s have fun while you wait for him.” —

You took a couple of steps back, which then he’d proceed to take forward so the distance between you two was never really reduced. Taking a deep breath, you spoke up again, raising your voice.

—”No.” —You said, frowning. The stranger seemed a little surprised at the rejection, since you had seemed so shy and almost somewhat scared before. Truth is, you were feeling a little anxious and afraid about not being able to make him go away. You didn’t even wish for Seungjoon to get here because you didn’t want him to have to argue with anyone, especially not because someone was bothering you.

You wanted the guy to leave on his own, you wanted to make him leave yourself.

—”I’m sorry, but no. I’ll keep waiting here for my boyfriend, so you can go back to where you came from and have fun with your friends. Or did they leave you alone? How mean of them.” —You said, throwing his words back at him in the end. Once again, he seemed shocked at your words.

He looked at you, and then to his right as hurried footsteps could be heard approaching. The guy scoffed, quite clearly embarrassed and without saying anything else he quickly went away as fast as he had showed up. Once he was far enough, you let out the deep breath that you didn’t know you were holding in, and then you looked up and to your left. There was Seungjoon, who didn’t make eye contact with you for a few seconds because he was still looking at that guy, his eyebrows furrowed.

When he looked at you, his gaze immediately softened, and he gave you a small smile. You smiled back at him and got out of the pool. Seungjoon asked you which of the two drinks he had bought did you prefer, and after you chose and he handed it to you, he looked back at the pool. You followed his eyes, but you didn’t see that guy anymore.

—”I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left you alone.” —When he apologised, you looked back at him, a little surprised at his words.

—”What? Don’t be sorry, you did nothing wrong. He’s the one that should apologise for not leaving straight away when I told him I was here with my… my boyfriend.” —This time, it was Seungjoon who seemed a little aback from your words, but the confused expression on his face was quickly replaced by a joyful one.

It was the second time you had referred to him using those words, but it was the first time you did it in front of him. And seeing his reaction, it made you happy too.

—”It’s the first time I’ve heard you call me your boyfriend.” —He said, apparently thinking of the same thing as you. His smile looked a little shy, but also proud at the same time. You let out a shy giggle and didn’t know what to respond, so he spoke up again.— “We’ve been going on a dates for some time now, holding hands every time, kissing too… So there’s something I wish I would have said to you before, back when we went to the aquarium on our first date.” —

You felt your cheeks heat up, probably imitating the blush adorning Seungjoon’s cheeks lightly. You knew what he wanted to say, so it wasn’t as unexpected as your fidgety heart was making it seem.

—”I like you, I’ve liked you for a long time now… And I want to be able to tell everyone that we are together.” —

You looked down at his free hand and held it with yours before looking back up at him and smiling shily, your eyes crinkling a little and lips slightly pursed from trying not to let your smile look too excited after hearing those words coming from him, to finally hear with his voice that you two felt the same way even if you already knew every time your hands linked with each other’s, every time he embraced you and you could feel your hearts beating in unison, every time his soft lips met yours and you felt yourself melting under his touch.

—”I like you too.” —You said, and he took one step closer to you.— “And from now on, we can let everyone now.” —Seungjoon nodded and the two of you laughed softly for no reason other than feeling so happy that you felt like you had to get at least some of the feeling out of your chest.

Still holding hands, the two of you walked around to find some seats to relax and drink what he had bought. While you did that, Seungjoon broke the silence.

—”When I went back to the lockers to get my wallet, I checked my phone and saw a message from Joochan.” —You looked at him as he talked, letting him know you were listening before he continued.— “He said Kee’s coming home now and will sleep over at the dorm, so I should find somewhere else to sleep.” —

You laughed at the nostalgia that the message brought back. If you closed your eyes, you could still remember vividly when your roommate did the same thing to you the day her and Seungjoon’s roommate finally started officially dating after around a month during which most people thought they together already. That day, you slept over at Seungjoon’s dorm for the first time and even if nothing happened, it felt special. After all, it was after that day that the two of you started becoming closer and closer.

—”You can come over.” —Seungjoon raised his eyebrows as he look at you.— “To my dorm.” —You continued, and then he smiled. He probably was remembering the same thing.

The two of you shared a short laugh again at the memory.

—”Thank you.” —He said, and you shook your head to tell him he didn’t need to.— “And from now on, you can also come over to my dorm whenever you want, so that we aren’t always the one being kicked out of our dorms!” —

You giggled as you nodded, and then the two of you started making plans of more things the two of you could do while you regained the energy to keep having fun before the day ended, before the two of you would go back to the dorms and he’d come over to yours.

#onf #lee seungjoon #j-us #onf scenarios #onf imagines #onf j-us #onf fluff #Admin Berry

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strugglingstudies · 5 years ago

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how to be your most productive self

hi! i’ve been thinking a lot about how i’m going to manage my workload in the new school year. i thought it’d be a good idea to make a list of ideas on how i can manage my time and increase my productivity, so i can work as efficiently as possible this year :)

make a list of what you want to get done every day and stick to it. this can include not just schoolwork and revision, but also household chores, and little goals like reading a chapter of a book, eating a healthy meal or drinking more water than usual. don't be too hard on yourself, but try your best to tick off everything off the list before you go to bed.

write down your goals, both short term and long term. for example, one of mine is to study by myself for at least an hour per day from the start of the year, increasing it as i get closer to exams. i also write down the grades that i want in my mock and final exams. if you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve, you are constantly going to be reminded that you are putting in all this effort to get there. stick your goals up in a place where you can see them. anytime you feel demotivated, read through them and remind yourself that they won’t achieve themselves.

if you like, have something to listen to. this could be music (with or without lyrics), ambient noise like nature sounds, or white noise. personally i like having a playlist of relaxed, calm songs that provide background noise without being distracting. i also like when the playlist isn’t too long, so i gradually get used to hearing the same songs repeating - that way they don’t distract me from my work. here's a playlist that i like!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2STKuSNoNC7Ev9DOOZsZDr?si=tyMXbeqHQ7WYgBngE8po1w

don’t waste time unless you can afford to. and unless you've ticked off everything on your aforementioned to-do list, you probably can’t afford to. this is something that i am SO bad at, and it’s taken me so long to develop the self control to just get shit done. i normally give myself one hour of complete procrastination after school before i start working, and then i keep my phone in another room and get started. things like netflix and youtube which take up lots of time are saved for when i’m finished with my work.

with that being said, don’t forget to take breaks. it’s up to you whether you schedule your breaks into your work time or just take them when you start feeling bored. either way, try to keep your breaks at a maximum of 15 minutes per hour of work. don't waste them on mindless online stuff: instead, do something like having a snack, drinking a glass of water, going to the bathroom, reading a few pages of a book, listening to some music, talking to a family member, cleaning your study area, or playing with a pet. this is so that you get to take a break without getting sucked into something distracting on your phone and losing focus.

if you keep procrastinating and aren’t motivated to work, start with just five minutes. set a timer and for those five minutes, don’t look up from your work. more often than not, you’ll get into it and keep going after the timer’s up. if you can’t, don’t stress: take a quick break as described above, then try another 5-minute block of work. once you get going, you’ll be able to build up the amount of time you can work uninterrupted!

a pretty obvious one is to reward yourself. having something to look forward to when your work is done is so helpful. reward yourself after completing a difficult assignment, or after a productive day/week. it doesn't have to be anything big: it could be cooking your favourite meal, watching an episode of your favourite show, buying something you’ve wanted, going out with friends or family etc.

personally, i really want to start using studyblr more. seeing a community of people who all care about doing their best academically is so motivating. plus, putting my own ideas out there and seeing how they help other people makes me want to keep finding successful methods that i can post about. the 100 days of productivity challenge is also something i really want to get involved in, as i think it’ll help to build a habit and the pressures of social media will keep me motivated to do it!

try filming yourself working. grab your phone, set it to time lapse and get going. having the pressure of a camera recording you means that you won't want to fuck around instead of getting it done – otherwise you’ll seem lazy in the video. and if your phone is recording, you can’t go on social media and waste your time there. this is something that you can post online or just keep as a reminder of how hard you can work when you try.

it’s okay to have off days. everyone has days where they feel completely unproductive and don’t get anything done no matter how hard they try. in that case, don’t stress about it. take the day to yourself to relax, then treat the next day as a new beginning. but if these days become a regular habit, that’s when you need to force yourself to just suck it up and do it. you will feel so good about yourself once you do.

#studyblr #study tips #studying #gcses #gcse #gcse student #gcse studyblr #gcses 2020 #productivity #year 11 #study motivation #100 days of productivity #studying tips #alevel #year 12 #year 13 #year 10 #a level

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curus-creations · 4 years ago

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So the building had used to be used for something else, which like, what else is new, you know? Basically anywhere people live used to be something else – factories, churches and barns hollowed-out and turned into homes; even your average terraced house is nowhere near its original state and purpose as a sardine can for the poor.

Whatever this place used to be, they'd carved it out and turned it into...a newer, different-er sardine can. You could tell this was not the original layout at all – the ceilings didn't match the windows, with a little gap at the top where upstairs' floor was. That flat above us was accessible through a different part of the building entirely. Bumps and voices were like ghosts; I had no idea who was making them because the location of anyone's front door meant nothing to where their living room was.

And there was a window to nowhere in my bedroom.

It was bizarre. A corner of my room formed the walls around someone else's stairwell, and obviously that included the hollow space under the stairs as they descended. It would surely have been easy to cover that up with the very same walls and leave it an unused little portion of the building. Can't be a hundred percent efficient.

Instead, for some reason, they'd fitted a little window there. It was about a foot off the ground, and as big, made of that bubbly sort of glass, which was used nowhere else in the flat. Behind it was just a small alcove, lit only by the fact light was coming in through this very little window. Its floor was directly below the window, and uncarpeted, so not my floor. And I felt safe to assume not the floor of the stairwell itself, either.

It was weird, but it was ultimately ignorable. There's nothing inherently spooky about even the strangest human mistakes; plus, I couldn't see it from my bed, so I could happily forget about it as I slept and once I woke up.

After a couple of weeks, as I settled in, I ended up covering it with my own stuff – not deliberately, just because, you know, this is my space and I need somewhere to put my stuff.

I forgot about it entirely. It wasn't even a silly anecdote to tell my friends.

There's a particular sort of noise somebody knocking on a window makes. I imagine you've heard it. Sort of a hollow dunk dunk.

Somebody knocking on a bubble window behind a wardrobe does not make that noise.

Of course I woke up when I heard the sound. I might be used to the ambient noise of living here, but my brain could automatically tell this was coming from inside the house.

But where from exactly? Was somebody knocking on my walls? I slipped out of bed, grabbed the nearest club-like object (a pointlessly big torch) and considered throwing on a bathrobe before deciding nudity might psyche an intruder out more.

When I reached the doorway and peered into the living room, the sound of knocking came again, clearly from behind me this time.

I turned.

There was obviously no-one in my room. But still, there was that sound...too clear to be my neighbours. And it wasn't pipes (or Pipes) or anything – probably. I wasn't a plumber.

What if somebody had broken in, snuck behind my furniture and was now fucking with me! This was, embarassingly enough, my first conclusion.

Of course, when I shoved the wardrobe to the side, I immediately recognised the window.

There was nothing on the other side of it. It was still an empty, useless alcove.

I searched the rest of my room, found nothing, and the knocking didn't sound again for the rest of the night.

Which I spent sat on a camp chair, watching the window. Wielding my torch like it would do anything against anything.

If I'd seen something back then it would probably have freaked me out less.

As it was, having a sound with no source raises a lot of questions, obviously. I was kind of taking it on faith that this phenomenon was limited to the window – that the source was behind the window. An intangible noise-maker could have been fucking with me, using the obviously weird thing about the building to distract me from the fact it owned every wall and window in the place. It was easier to turn my limited evidence into proof of some creature hiding in the alcove, always hunched out of sight just where the light failed to filter in.

If it did anything in the day, I didn't know about it. I had breakfast and got dressed in peace, left to go to work in peace, came back to nothing.

But I couldn't risk the night. I sat in the chair, a lazy vigil – I was scared, yeah, but I was undisciplined. I fell asleep slouched in that chair night after night. It was ruining my spine, frankly, and I kept waking up with the shitty headaches I get when my neck muscles decide to go on strike. And nothing was happening, no further knocking was waking me up.

The first night in bed was simultaneously nerve-wracking – I could no longer see the window, no longer see what the creature was doing! - but also the most comfortable sleep I'd had in a week, because, you know, it was in an actual bed. I slept the whole night, woke up refreshed, and figured the 'evil' was defeated.

The knocking came back about a week later.

I woke up immediately, again, but this time I went straight to the wardrobe and nearly tipped it over shoving it aside.

I'd taken it by surprise this time. The creature – was real!

Okay let me start – let me explain that from the top.

Inside the alcove – just behind the window – its little fist raised like it was about to knock on the fucking window again – was a...tiny person. A child somebody had stretched. A white body with no face. It's hard to describe succintly, even though it looked so simple.

I screamed and threw myself back. Almost immediately, though, shock turned to anger and I threw myself down, crouching in front of the window, and slapped my hand on the glass. The creature had scuttled away, back into nothing.

"How do you like it?!" I think I yelled. Then realised it was three in the morning; then wondered how much of any of this my neighbours had heard, now or last time.

I didn't get the chair that night.

I stayed on the floor, crouched in the dust, watching. I don't know how long for. I think I nodded off eventually – several times – only for a few minutes, it felt like, each time. That sort of semi-awake lazy morning state, but over hours, until dawn. And on the floor.

The light made me feel safer. After all, the creature had never been out in the day. Eventually I stood, blinking, and blearily called in sick to work before collapsing onto the bed.

This would have been easier if I didn't have to work. That's genuinely what I thought at the time – like I could just keep up a nocturnal vigil and it would all be okay. That was preferable to coming home knowing I'd spend the night awaiting a...visitor.

I didn't have to wait long.

It was only a week this time. A week exactly.

I'd moved a sleeping bag onto the floor next to the window. I'd sort of rationalised to myself that watching it kept it away, so if I could just sleep comfortably next to it, it'd be fine.

Then I woke up to the window being open.

It took me a while. I'd woken up, every day, face-to-face with this bubbly darkness. It was becoming normal, again – ignorable. And then it was just a hole, an open frame to that nonsense alcove, the pane of glass on the floor directly in front of me.

How had it managed to do that without waking me? was my first question.

Then, more pressingly: wait shit where is it now?

If I hadn't thrown myself up and out of my sleeping bag in a panic, I would probably have spent forever watching the alcove numbly, afraid to turn away from it.

I went into the kitchen, grabbed a knife. Grabbed two knives, just in case. Walked back to my bedroom, slowly, keeping an eye out for anything small and crawling.

When I reached my room again, I switched out a knife for the torch, turned it on. Pointed it into the alcove.

Nothing. No creature illuminated there – and no back wall either. How deep did this go? I'd barely been awake two minutes; I couldn't quite convince myself of what I was seeing, that this was...deeper than the stairs could possibly allow.

I reached the arm holding the torch in, bringing light further into the dark.

A hand reached out of that dark, grabbed my wrist, and pulled, hard.

It's after that that I don't...well, I woke up in bed. I could have happily assumed that last part was a dream.

But the window – the hole – they're gone, entirely. It's all wall now. And that's – I mean, did I dream this all so specifically and so regularly? If I broke that wall down – what would I get other than a voided deposit? Kicked out, probably.

I saw them only once. They've covered their tracks so well. Do they need to make me doubt myself, too?

#writing #horror #november horror #the first of many! hopefully!#i don't know what to tag this

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