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#and there's like no way I'm pronouncing those right
poundfooolish · 1 year
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Strong high school memories of downloading Čarobnjakov šešir one fuckin pixel at a time because it was the entirely untranslated sequel to my favorite childhood movie, just me and some guy in fuckin Croatia probably building this torrent together in the few hours on stolen high school internet, which I then watched and still have despite not speaking a lick of croatian NO I still don't know what the plot is but it was all about my favorite little side character and I was dedicated.
do you know how hard it is to find one movie in a language you don't speak from a country that also does not seem to give a shit about this movie and also you can't point out on a map. In 2008.
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omegothic · 5 months
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i had a dream somebody was asking me what i gonna call a child when i get one (specifically a daughter) and i said well obviously martha ❗❗❗ because i am a big martin gore fan, and the person i was talking to asked why martha and not bereznya. i'm gonna lose my mind omfg. the joke is that mart means march in russian and berezen means march in ukrainian (and obviously martha is a real name ans bereznya is not) so they were asking me why i am using russian to name a child and not ukrainian 😭😭😭 what is this
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wikiangela · 2 months
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It's a quiet evening, they're winding down after a long, exhausting day of work, just enjoying each other's company. They're on the couch, a cheesy romcom playing on the TV, Tommy's head in Buck's lap, Buck's fingers playing with Tommy's soft curls.
He's watching Tommy more than the movie. He observes his reactions, the soft smiles, the small chuckles, the eye rolls and scoffs - depending on what's happening on the screen. He's so beautiful and Buck wants to stare at him forever. And he gets to.
He beams, as he glances at his hand, still in Tommy's hair, where a simple silver band sits right on his ring finger, an exact match to the one on Tommy's hand, now casually resting on his stomach. Well, almost an exact match, the inscription on the inside just a little bit different - they both say their wedding date and the word 'forever' but they also have each other's names inscribed. Buck likes to take if off sometimes and just look at the words, trace his fingertip over Tommy's name, still amazed that this is his life, even after over a year of being married already.
So he observes his husband, eyes scanning all over, while Tommy's completely immersed in the movie, the romantic dork - Buck loves that he's the only one who truly gets to see this side of him. He's so cute and gorgeous, and Buck loves him so much and just can't take his eyes off him.
That's when he notices it, and a gasp breaks out of him. He can feel a huge grin pulling at his face.
"What's wrong?" Tommy immediately looks at him, a small concerned frown creasing his forehead. When he notices Buck smiling, worry turns into pure confusion. "Evan?"
"Baby." Buck says seriously, his fingers gripping a strand of Tommy's hair, as he announces happily, "You have your first gray hair." He's looking right at it, just a tiny, barely noticeable, silvery hair. It's there, and it looks beautiful, and Buck already kind of can't wait to see his husband get more of them.
"Okay?" Tommy's frown deepens, this time with amusement. "So?"
"So-" Buck starts, then shakes his head. It's stupid, it's just a hair, no big deal, everyone gets them eventually, it's nothing special. But in a way, it is. Because when they met a few years ago Tommy didn't have gray hair. Because in their line of work, and with their luck, with Buck's luck, seeing yourself or a person you love grow old is not always a given - and it's such a blessing. This, seeing a gray hair in Tommy's hair, combined with wrinkles starting to form on his beautiful face - it's an amazing sight. They're sharing a life together, growing older together, they're able to see each other go through all these changes, step by step, day by day, seemingly unnoticeable unless you pay particular attention. It makes Buck feel so grateful for this life he has, for his husband, for getting this chance. "Nothing," he says, fingers resuming combing through Tommy's thick curls, eyes still drawn to that lone gray hair. "I just love you."
"I love you, too, Evan." Tommy smiles that crinkly smile that makes the lines around his eyes even more pronounced. Buck has to lean down and kiss his lips, then the corner of his eye, making Tommy laugh. "What's that have anything to do with my gray hair?"
"I just really like the thought of getting to grow old with you. Of spending my life with you." Buck whispers, and sees Tommy's smile melt into that soft 'Evan' smile, reserved just for him.
"And you say I'm sappy," he responds teasingly, and Buck laughs. Oh, he loves Tommy so much. He looks into Tommy's eyes and sees everything he was just thinking about. He sees how Tommy wants the same things, how he appreciate those reminders, like a silly gray hair, of getting to go through life together.
He kind of can't wait to start going gray, too. To grow old with his husband.
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killerpancakeburger · 4 months
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SILVER-TONGUED
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SUMMARY: Soap drops by your office to pick you up, like every friday evening for your poker game with the Task Force. But when you turn out harder to remove from your desk than expected, he's going to resort to a different method.
PAIRING: Soap x f!Reader
TAGS: Civilian!Reader, Anxious!Reader, Clingy!Soap, Established Relationship, fluff, swearing, mention of chronic pain, suggestive/light smut: dirty talking, gropping, foreplay (?), semi-public (happens in your office on base but no one walks in lol), (they keep their clothes on). Idk how to tag, help
WORDS COUNT: 1.2k
A/N: Just because I wish I had a Soap to sweet-talk me from my desk at the end of the workday. *sigh wistfully* This is the filthiest thing I've ever written, so... enjoy? But also forgive my amateurism.
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Plunged into your work, you’re essentiellement deaf and blind to the outside world. When you notice Soap's presence, he had the time to sneak into your office and behind your chair, arms folded over your backrest. By the way he pronounces your name, you can tell this isn’t the first time he's calling it.
“Hey,” you salute, surfacing back to reality with difficulty, focus not leaving your computer's screen, but reaching backwards blindly with one hand for contact. He grabs it right away.
“What's up?”
He chuckles a bit at that.
“Day's over is what's up. Ye coming?”
Your eyes fly to the clock in the bottom right corner of the screen. The evidence is damning: your shift has been over for ten minutes. It is far from unusual for you to stay too late, but tonight's friday and the 141's weekly poker game is summoning you in the form of an overeager Scotsman whose eyes you would damn yourself for.
On the field, the Sergeant MacTavish can remain immobile for hours on end with a sniper rifle in hand, stoically waiting for a target to get in his sights. On base however, your lover can hardly stay still more than a minute without a reason he'd deem legitimate.
His question is very much rhetorical. You tried to slip away once, not because you didn’t want to come but because you were worried the guys felt obligated to invite you out of politeness, and somehow Johnny must have read your mind because he snatched you and fireman carried you all the way there.
You wouldn’t have forgiven him if he had dared to pull those antics in front of others, but he managed to keep that spectacle just between the two of you. You still yelled at him a lot afterwards though. And punched him. And kicked him. Felt like hitting a punching bag anyway, so you didn’t feel guilt over the fact that he wasn’t defending himself at all. Once you were done huffing and puffing, you just glared at him, out of breath, fists clenched, and he stared back shamelessly, a grin on his face. The genuine joy in his expression was contagious, so you started laughing uncontrollably, and he joined you quickly. 
Coming from anyone else, this overly familiar behavior would have disturbed you. Being carried around like a helpless toy, powerless to resist someone else's will, wasn’t something you were fond of. But Soap proved himself time and time again to be safe. He could tell apart your serious reluctances from your playful protests, and if he had any doubt that you were uncomfortable, he would have stopped messing around instantly.
Deciding for you in that particular moment eased you off a burden, saving you from crippling indecisiveness and from endlessly weighing pros and cons in awkward silence. It was a favour.
You never contemplated refusing the offer again after that.
“In five minutes,” you bargain, not wanting to interrupt yourself in the middle of a task.
He loudly whines in protest at that, acting more distressed than he actually is.
“Nooo. Come ooon. Ye can finish later.”
“Be quiet,” you retort, and yet unable to curb an amused smile from stretching your lips.
He sighs exaggeratedly before admitting defeat. For exactly five minutes and not one second more.
“Bonniiiie.”
You don't relent.
“I'm almost done!”
“Ye were s'pposed to be done 20 minutes ago!”
You don't have any good argument to oppose that truth, so you remain silent. Soap does not.
He starts massaging your shoulders and dispensing cajoleries into your ear to coax you into compliance. You manage to tune him out until he curiously presses the tips of his fingers into your trapezius muscles and you wince. He lets out an impressed whistle.
“Fuck, yer tense. Yer shoulders feel like reinforced concrete.”
You sigh, having heard that one before.
“Bane of my existence,” you mumble absently.
He hums pensively, and you think that's the end of the matter, until his hand slides down your chest, all the way from your collarbone until your navel, leaving shivers in its wake, and his lips settle on the crook of your neck.
Concentrating suddenly becomes impossible.
“Johnny,” you call out in warning.
Or at least that was the goal, but you can hear in your own voice how affected you already are.
He treats his name like a demand for more, and leaves a trail of kisses along your neck and your shoulder, tugging on your collar to have more skin to work with. Meanwhile his hand caress and grope your torso, burning you through your clothes, in slow, unhurried motions that feel terribly suggestive. He knows your body so intimately well, only brushing the sore spots, like the side of your ribs, where the bone presses right beneath the skin, teasing the sensitive areas and tenderly stroking the rest.
“What do you think you're doing?” you contrive to ask, resisting the temptation to close your eyes to focus solely on his touch.
This may be afterhours, but you’re still in your work office, and anyone could barge in. While the idea may be arousing in theory, you know that the reality would mortify you.
“Just helpin’ ye relax, hen. Ye work too hard. Lemme take care o’ ye.”
Once again, you can’t find a good argument to oppose him. You do work too hard, and you desperately need to unwind before the pressure you self impose makes you explode like a time bomb. Since you've started dating, Soap had a tendency to mentor you into taking it easy, and he never steered you wrong until now.
You sigh in defeat, lift a hand to grasp his mohawk, letting your head tilt backwards, and surrender to his wandering hands and mouth.
Two fingers glide on the inside of your thigh, from knee to groin. In the meantime, his hand squeezes your breast. His lips stop from sucking and licking your flesh only to whisper filthy nothings into your ear.
“Could sneak under yer desk… make myself at home between yer legs… and let ye fuck my face while nobody knows. Would help with yer tension, ah'm sure.”
You suck in a gasp at the conjured mental image, legs spreading almost immediately. You, digging your fingernails into your palms with restraint, Johnny's cerulean eyes almost shining in the half-light of the bottom of your desk as he's staring hungrily at you, kneeling. Him raising a finger across his lips in silent command before spreading your knees further apart and nuzzling against your crotch. You fighting back against the urge to grind on his face and suffocate him between your thighs, the knowledge that he's not averse to the idea making things worse.
“Johnny,” you whimper, beguiled. “Fuck.”
He lets out an appreciative hum.
“Knew ye'd like that.”
The fingers tickling your inner thigh finally move to where you want them most. You grit your teeth to contain the moan that threatens to escape you as his middle finger runs up and down your slit.
Then the racket of your phone vibrating against the wood of your desk abruptly brings you back to reality. Your eyes open wide and you raise your head to see who's calling, only to swear in horror as Ghost's mask occupies the screen. As the contact's photo vanishes, a notification indicating seven missed calls makes your stomach twist in fear.
One does not stand up Lieutenant Riley and comes out unscathed.
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arminsumi · 1 year
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WHO IS SHE?
↳ GOJO さとる + fem!reader
A Kyoto student gives the Six Eyes a run for his money during the tournament. Are they really fighting or just flirting?
M.LIST
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1.2k
Summary : during the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event, a student Gojo encounters someone who can match his strength. It's not humbling. It hurts his pride. But neither of you can deny the tension between you two. You and him are just flirting back and forth like crazy, forming a lustful rivalry.
Warnings : 🔞 minors do not read/interact : mature/18+ content, not proofread, blood, innuendos / suggestive jokes (use of daddy, kitten), sexual/romantic tension, rivalry, making a sexual bet (bj if gojo wins 🫡), cliffhanger ending ig
Note : ayo... AYOOOOOOO!!! i found this idea in the drafts from 3 months ago and wrote smth for it... LET ME KNOW IF U WANT MORE??? bc there's more content for it... hehe ����💗 it's got that rivals that wanna fuck type beat ig
🍒 More from Jay : Gojo works / Gojo fave works / JJK works
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There's crimson blood dribbling out his nose, and he wipes it away in amazement.
What the hell just hit me?
"Heyyy Six Eyes~!" you smile, split-sitting on a branch.
Gojo Satoru rears his head up at you and squints from the sun. He makes out your figure, hears your voice, and feels this sense of mortality. It gives him a rush.
Fuck. Who is she...? That Kyoto student?
"Oh. Hey Kyoto Princess." He returns condescendingly. He sinks his hands in his pockets to look at ease, though he's anything but in your presence right now. You really shook him up there.
"The blood looks hot on you." you flirt and cause his heartbeat to accelerate.
"Uh-huh... you gonna stay up there like a scaredy cat or you gonna come down here and show me those claws again, kitten?"
He's trying so hard to scramble up those words. He's trying so hard to seem intimidating. To stand his ground against you. He's trying so very, very hard. He's straining himself. Neck tendons pronouncing with his hard swallow. Sweat beading off his forehead.
Damn the summer sun. It makes the tournament so much harder. Though admittedly, he'd be startled by your technique during any season.
You lean down and make a feline movement that makes something click in the horny region of his brain.
"Nah, I like the view from up here... why don't you climb up 'n come give me kitty cuddles?" you say.
Ooh. That voice is chilling. I like it.
"No fucking way." he laughs incredulously. "You can come."
"Oh is daddy giving his kitten permission to cum?" you play.
His eyes go wide. "What the fu—"
There's a rush of wind, your friend interrupts the awkward flirting and comes to your side and asks you what the situation is.
"Why the hold up? You said you'd come 'round again, I was waiting for you. That bangs guy is kind of a menace... 'coulda used your help."
"Sorry..." you smile and maintain this electric eye contact with Gojo. "I got a bit infatuated with Mister Six Eyes over there. He's quite the cutie pie."
Gojo's heart flutters... and he hates it. He feels boyish because of you. Like he's just some dumb teenager with a crush on the hot girl who gave him a nosebleed. Literally, in this case.
"Uh... okay...? Sheesh. Were you trying to fight him or cause deforestation?" your friend grimaces at the splintered and split trees. "Um... anyways... can we go, or are you two still busy flirting?"
"I'm coming, alright." you wink at Gojo.
"What the fu— SUGURU."
Oh, such good timing. Bangs guy appears.
"What's the hold up?" Suguru asks.
Your friend chimes, "That's what I was asking! These two are fucking flirting!"
"Haha, what? Oh Satoru... why is your nose all bloody?" Suguru asks nonchalantly.
"A cat scratched me."
"...? What? What happened?"
"She happened." Gojo glares at you.
You wave at him. He wishes he could bite you, but he's not ready just yet to approach you.
Suguru looks at his friend, then at you, then at the damaged trees, and his features grow both impressed and confused.
"You're telling me... a tiny thing like her did all this?"
Gojo shrugs funnily, "Yeah, she's pretty romantic, isn't she?"
You wink at him. He feels a pang in his chest and furrows his brows.
"Okay. Yeah. Sam, I see what you mean about them flirting."
"Right?"
You giggle. Gojo groans.
There's an auditory announcement echoing through the forest.
Today's event is ending, please return to the starting point.
"Aw, playtime is over. See you next time, Six Eyes."
"Keep callin' me Six eyes, princess, I fucking dare you." Gojo seethes.
All four of you trek back to the starting point. Gojo is stealing hot glances of you, looking grumpy but feeling his pants tighten. You're sweating from the heat. So is he.
I can make you weak for me. Just you wait.
"Satoru, tell me all about it. I want the details." Suguru leans close and asks in a hushed tone. You're busy talking to your friend, outright humiliating poor Mister Six Eyes to her.
"She's too damn fast." he grumbles, rubbing his neck to get the tension out. You really gave his poor body a beating back there. "Like a flicker in my vision... uh, but the main reason she was a challenge was because of all that flirting, of course."
"Oh, yeah right..." Suguru rolls his eyes, then leans even closer, "Was she really flirting with you?"
"Yeah..."
"Lucky."
"What the hell, Suguru." Gojo laughs.
"You should make a move. I'm sure she's got a thing for you. She keeps looking over." Suguru encourages.
"Are you high? She really fucked me up back there. Anyways... I think her flirting was condescending. That's why I flirted condescendingly back. Shit what if she was actually flirtin' with me..."
Satoru and Suguru look at you. And you look back. Your friend is snickering and it bothers Satoru.
But nothing bothers him more than that smug face of yours. He marches right up to you in the corridors later, when it's just you and him.
He pins you right against the wall and you giggle, letting him show off his strength and height.
His breath tickles your face, his eyes threaten to burn your soul.
"Next time, I'll win." he seethes in a deep voice. He notes how you squeeze your thighs together.
"Wanna bet?" you smile seductively.
"Sure. If I win, you have to tell all your cute little friends about how Mister Six Eyes is stronger than you." he says.
"Okay. Whatever. If I win..."
He listens intently.
"... I get to suck your dick."
He blushes. Stutters. Brain freezes. Malfunctions.
Wow. What. Huh?
"Haha, you're cute. Have you never received head before?" you ask forwardly.
His conscious skips beats, words tumble out.
"I — uh... y-yeah of course I have!" he lies.
"Sure you have, big boy." you bring your lips closer and he dissolves. He's so fucked. He's so turned on by you it's actually pissing him off.
He doesn't move away, just lets you graze your lips over his own. You make him shudder. Make his cock start to strain against his tight uniform pants.
"So... are we taking this bet then?"
"Y-yeah... yes. Um. Yes. Absolutely. Please."
"Haha... okay then. See you tomorrow... Satoru~"
Wow. You just broke him there. He doesn't move or speak, just stands motionlessly blinking at the wall as you slip away out of his pinning grip.
He thinks to himself;
Nah. I don't think I care about winning anymore. Screw pride.
But then comes the next morning and... he swells with pride.
Nah. Screw her. I don't need to feel her lips wrapping around my dick.
"Hey, Six Eyes." you greet him at the tournament grounds, flirting so unashamedly that you earn a very disapproving looks from the teachers.
"Hey, Kyoto Princess." he greets back, "flirting" too. His stomach flips when you lick your lips suggestively, as a callback to the bet you made with him.
"Wish ya luck." you tell him.
"I don't need it." he retaliates.
Suguru and your friend just distantly watch, snickering, at the sexual tension between you and Gojo Satoru;
Your natural rival. When he was born, so were you, meant to exist as the only thing that could weaken the Six Eyes.
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© arminsumi
Do not plagiarize / repost / translate / copy layouts / etc.
Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.
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factsinallcaps · 2 months
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I have to know-- what's ur opinion on this
LOOK, I'M JUST GOING TO, RIGHT HERE, ANSWER THE MANY, MANY "BUT COULD YOU PRONOUNCE THIS A CERTAIN WAY IF YOU PRONOUNCED ALL THE LETTERS DIFFERENT THAN THEY SHOULD BE PRONOUNCED" MESSAGES I'VE BEEN GETTING
THE ANSWER IS NO, YOU CANNOT TAKE LETTERS-AS-USED-IN-ONE-WORD AND TRANSPLANT THEM TO PLACES IN OTHER WORDS AND EXPECT THEM TO BEHAVE THE SAME. THE W IN "ANSWER" IS THE SAME W THAT'S IN "WALL." THE "H" IN "GHOST" IS THE SAME ONE THAT'S IN "HELP." "T" IN "LISTEN" IS THE SAME ONE THAT'S IN "TANK," AND THE EXTRA "A" IN "AARDVARK" IS NO MORE SILENT THAN THE SECOND "O" IN "DOOR." TWO A'S IN A ROW MAKES A DIFFERENT SOUND THAN ONE A IN A ROW.
THE REALITY IS, IF YOU TOOK THOSE LETTERS OUT OF THOSE WORDS, AND PUT THEM TOGETHER AGAIN TO SPELL "WHAT," THEY WOULDN'T BE SILENT ANYMORE, BECAUSE THEIR PRONUNCIATION, OR LACK THEREOF, IS BASED ON THE CONTEXT OF WHERE THEY FALL IN THE WORD, AND WHAT THEIR ETYMOLOGY IS. IF YOU TOOK ALL THOSE LETTERS AND REASSEMBLED THEM INTO "WHAT," IT WOULD BE PRONOUNCED LIKE "WHAT."
A LOT OF PEOPLE KEEP ASKING THESE QUESTIONS BASED ON THE CONCEPT OF WHETHER IT'S "VALID" TO PRONOUNCE CERTAIN LETTERS SPECIFIC WAYS, BASED ON THE FACT THAT THEY'RE PRONOUNCED THAT WAY IN CERTAIN WORDS. UNFORTUNATELY FOR THEM, LETTERS HAVE NO INHERENT PRONUNCIATION WHATSOEVER. THEY'RE PRONOUNCED THE WAY WE PRONOUNCE THEM BECAUSE OF A COLLECTIVE AGREEMENT BY SPEAKERS OF ANY GIVEN LANGUAGE TO PRONOUNCE THE LETTERS USED IN THAT LANGUAGE'S ALPHABET IN MUTUALLY AGREED-UPON WAYS.
SOMETIMES THERE'S SPECIAL-USE CASES THAT COME FROM A WORD'S ROOT LANGUAGE-- FOR INSTANCE, "J" IS PRONOUNCED DIFFERENTLY IN SPANISH AND ENGLISH. THE WORD "FAJITA" EXISTS IN ENGLISH, AS IN ITS ORIGINAL SPANISH, AND THE J IS STILL PRONOUNCED THE SAME WAY AS IT WAS IN SPANISH
AND, CRUCIALLY, THERE IS ALREADY A MARGIN-OF-ERROR IN WHAT WE ALLOW RE: PRONUNCIATION. THIS IS HOW DIFFERENT DIALECTS AND ACCENTS FORM. MY APPALACHIAN COUSINS AND I UNDERSTAND THAT EVEN THOUGH I'M SAYING "WIN-DOH" AND THEY'RE SAYING "WIN-DER," WE'RE BOTH SAYING THE SAME WORD: "WINDOW," BECAUSE -OW AT THE END OF A WORD IS PRONOUNCED DIFFERENTLY IN MY ACCENT AND THEIRS. WHEN SOMEBODY WALKS UP TO ME AND SAYS "LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION" BUT THEY PRONOUNCE IT LIKE "AXE," I KNOW WHAT WORD THEY'RE USING.
I'VE MET PEOPLE NAMED, FOR INSTANCE, ROXHINA AND UXHINE, PRONOUNCED IDENTICALLY TO THE ENGLISH NAMES "REGINA" AND "EUGENE," BECAUSE IN THEIR FAMILY'S LANGUAGE, THOSE LETTERS WERE PRONOUNCED DIFFERENTLY.
I HAVE ALSO SEEN PEOPLE SPELL THINGS INCORRECTLY, IF SERVICEABLY, IN WAYS THAT IT'S EASY TO LET SLIDE BECAUSE IT'S CLEAR THEY WERE GOOD-FAITH EFFORTS TO COMMUNICATE THE MEANING OF THE WORD-- FOR INSTANCE, IN A BAR I SOMETIMES WORK AT, THERE IS A BOX LABELED "CHAMPAIGN GLASSES." THAT'S NOT THE CORRECT SPELLING, BUT ANYBODY WHO KNOWS HOW TO PRONOUNCE THE WORD "CHAMPAGNE" IS GOING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE LABEL MEANS. THAT'S ALL LANGUAGE IS-- A GOOD-FAITH EFFORT TO CONVEY MEANING BASED ON A SHARED UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT WORDS MEAN AND HOW THEY ARE CONSTRUCTED.
ALL OF THIS WAS VERY EASY FOR ME TO ACCEPT! BUT IF SOMEONE FROM APPALACHIA, WHO SPEAKS THE SAME LANGUAGE AS ME, WROTE THE WORD "XHOWL" ON A PIECE OF PAPER AND EXPECTED ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT IT MEANT "GIRL," BECAUSE IN ALBANIAN "XH" IS PRONOUNCED "G" AND IN APPALACHIA "OW" IS SOMETIMES PRONOUNCED "ER," I WOULD NOT FEEL LIKE THEY HAD MADE A GOOD-FAITH EFFORT TO EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATE THE WORD "GIRL."
SO MY ULTIMATE ANSWER HERE IS THAT I DISAPPROVE OF ATTEMPTS TO FIND ESOTERIC WAYS TO PRONOUNCE LETTERS OR SPELL WORDS THAT MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE THAT GOOD-FAITH EFFORT. WHETHER IT'S "YOU CAN SPELL FISH AS GHOTI, AS LONG AS YOU SAY ALL THE LETTERS WRONG," OR "YOU CAN PRONOUNCE 'WHAT' SILENTLY IF YOU DON'T SAY ANY OF THE LETTERS" I AM GENERALLY NOT IN FAVOR OF THESE FAKE-DEEP, DESPERATE-TO-BE-CLEVER ATTEMPTS AT SAYING "YOU KNOW, IF YOU DISRESPECT THE LISTENER AND/OR READER'S GOOD-FAITH EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND YOU BY MAKING AN INTENTIONAL EFFORT TO BE DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND, THEN ENGLISH HAS NO RULES!"
IF ANYONE IS INTENDING TO SEND ME A "WHAT ABOUT--" SORT OF MESSAGE TO THIS, REFER BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF THIS POST AND THEN KEEP READING UNTIL YOU DON'T SEND THAT MESSAGE.
TL;DR - ANYONE WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THIS WAS ALREADY MOCKED IN THIS COMEDY SKETCH AND I ROUGHLY AGREE WITH MESSRS. FRY AND LAURIE
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seospicybin · 8 months
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Seungmin x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Seungmin become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (14,6k words)
Author's note: Not much of Seungmin in this part but hope you enjoy it nonetheless :)
YOU: I like my men how I like my drinks, I need to have five of them [laughs] I'm a flirt, even when I'm not flirting, they think I am [bites lips] I hate small talk [groans] I don't want anything serious with anyone. If I wake up in the morning and they're not there, that's great [blows kisses]
-
The weather is good and you're feeling good, when the staff says it's your time to enter the villa, you're ready to go.
The hair and makeup are on point, and the white bikini you're wearing compliments your features and complexion, all of that wouldn't stand out without confidence so you put your best foot forward and walk in confident strides.
Not forgetting to put on your best smile knowing so many pairs of eyes are looking at you as you step into the scene and walk faster as you get excited to meet all of them.
"Hello, hello," you enthusiastically greet and waving your hands at them.
"You guys are so beautiful!" You compliment, hiding your insecurities with a flustered smile.
Once you get close enough, you make a brief eye contact with everyone and start hugging around, introducing yourself to them.
"Oh my God, the eyes," you exclaim as you notice a pair of mesmerizing light brown eyes on a guy.
You're genuinely attracted to those eyes that you can't stop staring at him.
"You have such beautiful eyes," you blurt out without thinking.
He shyly laughs at your indirect compliment, "Thank you!"
You carefully remove the strand of hair caught between your lips before speaking, "What's your name?"
"Elliott," he answers with a smile.
"Nice to meet you, Elliott," you say, offering your hand for a high-five since you already hugged him.
You join the other table, wanting to get to know everyone and get behind a man with a tall figure and long hair like Jesus.
"Oh, my Lord!" You playfully gasp.
The other two people laughing at your pun and when you join them, you can see that he has facial hair too.
"Come and join my disciples," He says.
"Wow. Am I in the right show?" You jokingly say, taking the champagne flute he hands you.
The Jesus twin brother pours the bubbly wine into your glass and puts the bottle back into the bucket of ice.
"I'm Vale," he tells you his name.
"Vale?" You pronounce his name wrong.
"It's short from Valentino," he explains.
"Oh! Vale!" You gasp, finally pronouncing his name right this time.
"I'm Italian," he informs you while tucking a hair behind his ear.
You take a small sip of your wine and smile, "I didn't know Jesus is Italian," you joke again.
He bursts into laughter and you try not to laugh or you'd spit your drink which is not the kind of first impression you plan to make on anyone.
"Oh, look!" You exclaim as you catch another guest arriving at the villa.
She's taking everyone's attention with her beautiful wavy, brown hair that looks and beautiful, rosy cheeks, walking with such elegance like a goddess emerging from the sea.
When she comes your way, you can see the adorable freckles on her nose and you just can't help but say, "Oh, you're such a babe!"
She smiles at your words and leans in for a hug, "Devon!"
"Devon, the babe, got it," you repeat and introduce yourself back.
You're not the only one who's swooned by her English charms, you can see everyone is just as excited to get to know her.
While Louisa is making a toast at the other table, you see the last male guest coming with his shirt flying open, showcasing his sculpted abs.
You're not the type that's crazy about muscles. However, when you see them on someone and they have them in the perfect places, you get a little loopy in the head.
"Blake," he introduces himself to you.
And Blake... oh, not only does he have those muscles in the perfect places, he has this gorgeous brown skin and the plus point is he has tattoos. He sure is driving the girls into a frenzy, meanwhile the boys, they're not that impressed with it.
"They're so hot," A girl next to you whispers and if your memory serves you right, her name is Adriana.
You lowly squeal in response and mutter through your gritted teeth, "I'm drooling."
Now that everyone is here, Vale takes the unopened bottle of wine and pops it open, spraying it at everyone to inaugurate the show.
-
YOU: [Rubs hands together] Let's get it started!
-
There are so many hot options in this villa.
There is Elliott's mesmerizing eyes, Vale's sexy hair, Jeff's tattoos, Tom's big biceps and then there's Blake's body.
God! Blake's body is just so hot, you bet it'll sizzle when you lick it.
"Ooo... sexy!" Adriana gasps as she pushes open the door to the bedroom.
There are ten guests but there are only six beds, well, that's a math problem anyone can easily solve.
"It doesn't make much sound," Tom says after testing the bed by rocking it.
A few laugh at that but you're too busy eyeing the guy you want, throwing flirty glances at Blake as he sits on the end of the bed.
You're very much aware that you're not the only girl having the hots for Blake, you see that Devon has her eyes on him too, well, you're not afraid of a little competition anyway.
After the tour of the villa, the girls are gathering in the dressing room to talk about... well, boys.
"Who do you fancy?" Lili asks, playing with a make-up brush.
"I like Jeff," Adriana is the first one to share her pick out of the sexy bunch.
"Going for the bad boy, huh?" Issa teases, twirling her curls around her index finger.
"What about you, sexy mami?" Adriana asks Devon who happens to sitting next to her.
"Blake," she shortly answers
So your guess is true that Devon is indeed going for Blake and it only means one thing: It's game on.
"He's hot, yeah," Lili approves Devon's pick.
Issa grabs your hand and gently shakes it, sending your bracelets clinking against each other, "How about you?"
Well, you have a man in mind but nothing is permanent yet and there's a lot of time to get to know everyone.
"I don't know," You bend against the vanity table and let Issa play with your hair.
"I don't want to limit myself to just flirting with one guy," you add with a laugh.
The girls are both applauding and chuckling at your honest answer. You realize that you can be competitive when you want to but let's hope it doesn't come to you getting your claws out for a man.
-
YOU: I don't know what I want yet so I can't rule anyone out right now [giggles]
-
The shimmering water of the Caribbean Sea is such a delightful sight, you take a long sigh as you take it all in that you'll be living here for the next 30 days.
Everyone else is either chilling by the pool or starting to mingle with each other or both.
You see Devon is closing in on Blake and it doesn't bother you much, you'll have your chance. You remind yourself that it's a marathon, not a sprint.
Someone comes up to you and joins you in the gazebo, it's the guy with the mesmerizing eyes, Elliott.
"Drinks?" He offers, holding up the drinks in his hands at you.
"Yes, please," you answer, scooting to the side to make some space on the sofa for him.
He hands you one of the drinks to you before sitting down, you both take a little sip of the sugary sweet cocktails.
"This is cute," you comment, stirring the drink with the small umbrella.
"Like you," Elliott teases with a flirty smile.
You giggle in reaction to his words, "You think I'm cute?"
Elliott licks his lips after sipping his drink, "Yeah."
Pulling a trick out of the book, you tilt your head to the side and flutter your eyelids a little.
"And I think you're cute too," you sweetly say, then clink your glass with his.
You have another sip of the cocktail and scrunch your nose when you taste the sour of the lime on the rim of the glass. You catch Elliott staring at you and knowing that he just got caught, he may as well ask, "So, do you fancy anyone?"
With your head still tilted, you do a little look away before looking at him right in the eyes, "Oh, wow, that's a tough question," you pretend to think hard.
Elliott is confidently staring right back into your eyes as he asks another question, "Anyone you want?"
You let out a low chuckle and answer, "I think it's too early to say."
"That's a good answer," he mutters.
Elliott is not taking his eyes away from yours even for a second, his stare is so intense that it makes you nervous. An awkward chuckle escapes your mouth, "Your eyes..."
You look down at your drink and put all of your focus on it instead, "They're making me nervous," you continue.
Elliott triumphantly smiles knowing that his eyes are doing a great job, "I'm just trying to shoot my shot here," he coyly says with a sexy smirk.
You nod and tuck your hair behind your ear, "I understand. You want what you want."
"Mm-hm," he immediately agrees with what you said.
"What I want is right here," he continues, clinking his glass against yours.
Elliott is, physically wise, not your type but he's confident, he has that good chat and he knows how to keep the conversation going.
As the saying goes if at first you don't succeed, then go for your second choice and Elliott would make a great second choice.
-
YOU: Well, if Blake is not going to acknowledge the fact that I'm here then I'm just going to give Elliott a chance.
-
It's loud in the dressing room as everyone comes up with guesses on what actually would happen tonight at the first party of Party In Paradise.
They prepare costumes for everyone to wear for the first party in the villa. The boys are dressed as pirates while the girls are dressed as mermaids and you choose the one adorned with sapphire blue sequins that resemble mermaid scales.
The beach is decorated with properties according to the theme and the drinks are ready so is the music, they're blasting upbeat songs through big speakers.
Everyone is looking hot, they're dancing and drinking, having the time of their life, it indeed feels like a party in paradise.
The good time comes to a halt as Issa initiates a game but it's actually what the staff briefed her earlier about.
"We're going to play X marks the spot," Issa says.
She then pulls lipstick out of the side of the sofa and uses it to make two crosses on each one of her breasts, "These are my best features so you can lick them, bite them, grab them, or even kiss the person if you want," she explains the game.
It's a simple game, with or without marking the spot, everyone knows where to touch or kiss. Issa then walks to the center and stands in front of everyone.
"So who wants a piece of me?" She cutely says while shaking her shoulders.
As everyone is about to hype Issa, Jeff dashes towards her and buries his head between her mounds, rubbing the red lipstick all over his face then plants a hard kiss on her lips. He then returns to his seat, leaving Issa standing there in bewilderment.
Everyone is either excited for their turn or to finally have the chance to make physical contact with the person they're interested in, including you.
You can't tell which one you're more excited for, taking your turn or making a move on someone.
It seems like it's the latter for Devon as Blake is drawing small crosses on his six-pack abs. He raises his hands and puts them behind him, letting anyone come to him.
"Come and get some," he says with a devilish smirk that takes his attractiveness to the next level.
Devon not only puts her claws on him but also sinks her teeth deep into Blake's neck, letting everyone know that it's her territory.
Well, Devon can piss on Blake too if she wants and you'll let her have him, for now.
Jeff whistles as Adriana marks both of her buttcheeks with the red lipstick while the others are howling like animals in heat.
"Whoa!" Lili grabs at your forearm in reaction to Tom licking her buttcheeks as Adriana slightly bends over.
"Oh, my God!" You gasp as they continue with a slobbering kiss, sending the red lips rubbing on each other's faces.
She then walks back to her seat and plops down next to you, panting while wiping the skin around her mouth with her fingers.
When it's finally your turn, you get so excited that you can't seem to function normally. You can't stop grinning as you walk to the center, carrying the lipsticks Adriana gave to you.
It's time to get some action so you give them no excuses to miss out on you. With the red lipsticks, you draw an X on your inner thigh, your breasts, and the last one, excessively putting the lipsticks all over your lips.
"Let's go, boys!" You say with a hand gesture, daring them to come.
As expected, Elliott is the first one to come out to play. He walks up to you with a sly grin plastered his face and he stops right in front of you, dropping to his knees to kiss your inner thigh.
His soft lips tickle you as he drags them down your thigh and you can't help but giggle. The trail of kisses stops when he reaches your ankle and he finally lets go of your leg.
Elliott gets up and immediately pulls you close, capturing your lips in a deep kiss. The way he eagerly lathers your lips, you can tell how much he wanted it, craved it and it's low-key arousing you.
You gasp for air when he lets go of the kiss and you hurriedly cover your mouth with your hand, nonplussed.
Before you can fully recover from Elliott's kiss, Blake walks up to you and holds you by the waist as he plants his mouth right on the X you drew on your breast.
He licks the red lipstick off your skin and does not waste another second to crash his mouth against your mouth, kissing you so hard.
You open your mouth to catch a breath, but he uses it as an opportunity to put his hot tongue into you, kissing you deeper, tasting you more.
You can hear everyone cheering and hooting as they watch Blake let go of the kiss with a triumphant smile on his face.
"Don't make me compete with you, man!" Elliott jokingly says with his mouth still tainted red from the lipstick.
To say the kiss was good would be an understatement, it was phenomenal, you get a little disoriented as you walk back to your seat.
-
YOU: I just knew he wouldn't be able to resist me [Coyly shrugs]
-
It's a good thing that you have some drink left in your cup as you need it to help you calm down from the madness you were in a while ago. You feel hot and bothered, finding yourself fanning your face from Blake's kiss.
The host of the show finally comes and leads the show, walking so carefully with her heels in the sand.
"Hello, party people!" She begins with a bright smile.
Everyone answers with a cheery howl, louder than the sounds of the crashing waves in the background.
"Are you having a good time?"
"Yeah!" Everyone replies in unison.
"Are you ready to have some more good time?" The host asks, fanning her hand close to her ear to hear everyone's answer.
"Yeah!"
"You know what? I think I know exactly what this party needs," the host says with a kittenish smile.
The fun keeps doubling as the night gets late and it gets everyone hyped for what's to come.
"We have invited a guest to the villa!" She announces with a playful whoop at the end of the sentence.
Your first thought is that they'll bring another guest into the villa but it's a party in paradise which means more people, the merrier.
"This one guest is very special and can change anything," The host hinted with a cryptic smile.
That piques everyone's interest and they're starting to randomly shout names of famous people, trying to guess and manifesting it at once.
"Are you ready to welcome our world-famous guest?" The host asks, also giving out another hint which makes a few of them believe it's a celebrity.
"Yes!" Everyone answers, getting impatient to find out who the new guest is.
You don't want to get your hopes up but it would be nice to party with a celebrity, whoever it is, you're ready to have some fun.
"Give our new guest a warm welcome!"
All of the lights are suddenly off and then a spotlight shines on the curtain behind our seats, you've been thinking that it's just part of the decoration but now everyone's eyes are on it, looking at it with so much anticipation.
"No way!" You gasp in a mix of nerves and excitement.
Adriana just can't stop squealing next to you, holding your hand by the wrist.
It's been a minute now and the curtain is still not open, you feel like fainting with this much anticipation inside you. A while later, smoke starts coming out as the curtain finally opens in one quick pull.
Then there's that melodic chime that you heard somewhere before.
-
YOU: [Groans] Why? [Throws head to the back] Why?
-
You look around and everyone is just as flabbergasted, as in shock as you are at the reveal of the true intentions of this show. All of you have been tricked into thinking that it's a Party In Paradise when it's actually Too Hot To Handle.
As if the sight of the cone is not enough, Lili turns her head at you and meekly says, "We're in Too Hot To Handle."
Now that she says it out loud, you realize that it's real and you can feel that you're already dreading it.
She rubs her temples and says again, "This is Too Hot To Handle."
Oh, no. This is real. You are in Too Hot To Handle.
"As you can see, this is no longer Party In Paradise," The cone begins talking.
"But it's so convincing, the crew got Party In Paradise shirts and everything," Adriana complain as if that would help her get out of this.
"This is Too Hot To Handle."
"Shit... fuck..." you quietly mutter as you rub your temples in stress.
"You have been specially selected because all of you are having meaningless flings over genuine relationships," Lana continues.
Wish you could deny it but you feel called out instead, if that's the case, then you guess, this is your karma.
"Not wrong at all," Elliott agrees with Lana's statement with a stupid grin.
"Since your arrival, I have been gathering data on your wild behavior but from now on, you must adhere to my retreat rules."
-
YOU: Hmm... my coochie is going on lockdown, isn't it? [Sighs]
-
"No kissing."
But that's exactly your plan which is to kiss everyone.
"No heavy petting."
The more you hear it, the harder for you to process it in your head and whether you can do it or not.
"No sex."
And that's it. You can't do it, it's impossible. You'll be staying with a bunch of attractive people in a villa on an exotic island and told not to make physical contact with them.
"And no self-gratification," Lana announces the last rule.
Which is the hardest one for you to accept. It's your own body and you can do anything to it? It doesn't make sense.
"That's crazy!" Blake reacts with his eyes widening in disbelief.
Despite the complaints, Lana continues with her announcement, "As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
Hearing that much money on the line, you suddenly have a change of mind that maybe it's possible to keep your hands to yourself for 200 grand.
Among the cheering of excitement at the sum of prize money, Jeff makes a bold remark.
"We surely can spend some of it," Jeff sounds excited to spend it more than to win it.
"No, man. Don't mess it up!" Tom warns him while shaking his head in disbelief.
"Just a couple of grand," Jeff innocently says.
"I'm a college student. I need it," Tom says, putting some sense into him.
Jeff indirectly says that he doesn't mind spending some of the money only supporting the fact that it's not going to be easy and your optimism deflates right away.
Another problem is you don't have that much trust in yourself that you'll be able to keep it yourself.
"Welcome to your long, hard, sexless summer," Lana concludes.
-
YOU: It's going to be hard but... since when do I follow the rules? [Smirks]
-
The morning starts rough.
You wake up as soon as the lights are on, dragging yourself out of the duvet, and sit on the bed only to look Devon and Blake on the bed right across from yours.
Lili wakes up not long after you and sitting on the bed, lowly muttering, "I am so horny."
Hearing that almost causes you to choke on your water as you sip it from a water tumbler.
It's like she triggers the cone by mentioning the word 'horny', the cone lights up and chimes.
"Good morning!"
You groan as the truth that you're in a sex retreat hasn't fully sunk in yet.
"You may find this retreat challenging but I am always here to help," Lana offers some comfort on a gloomy, sex-deprived morning.
"And we ask for sex, Lana," Adriana says with a sleepy, depressive smile.
Tom who sleeps with Adriana on the next bed, turns to see Blake and asks, "Are you sure nothing happened last night?"
You act nonchalant but at the same time, stay quiet to hear his answer.
He coyly shrugs and rubs his eyes as he answers, "No."
"I notice the smug," Adriana teases Devon.
She shakes her head in response, "Nothing happens, I swear."
That doesn't quite put you at ease.
There's a big chance that they did break the rules but act like they didn't and if they did break the rules, then you don't want to waste your time pursuing Blake.
However, as you gather all of your hair and tie it into a messy ponytail, you catch Blake looking at you with a faint smile on his face.
-
YOU: I'm still going for Blake but if he's still not showing any signs that he's interested well... I may have to put my focus on someone else.
-
Last night was just as rough.
Everyone was still coping with the grand reveal and just couldn't wait to end the day, choosing their beds where they felt like it. Lili offered to share the bed with you since she doesn’t want to partner up with anyone just yet and you didn’t have problems sleeping with anyone.
But the other reason was that Blake had chosen to sleep with Devon.
Of course, you’re not going to be so adamant about your choice of man but what you can’t help is being tenacious, you have to always get what you want, and you don’t want to know what would happen if you don’t get it.
Since you took the first turn for the daily interview, you get to start your day late. You’re going down to the beach to do some exercises with Vale sitting cross-legged on the yoga mat not far away from you, meditating.
That’s the kind of vibe you got when you first met him that despite his perfect figure and built body, he’s a spiritual person, he’s the type who seeks ‘that’ connection. Unlike you, Vale fits right into this show and it wouldn’t be a surprise if he won it too.
“Hey, come and join me,” He says to you as you take a break from working.
You stop sucking your water tumbler and ask, “You want me to meditate with you?”
“Yeah,” he shortly says.
You quickly wipe your sweat with a towel and sit on the yoga mat he laid out for you next to him. You follow the way he sits, crossing your legs together and putting your hands on your knees, then intently listen to his instructions for the rest of the session.
It works wonderfully and helps you take your mind off things. Once you both got back to the villa, he playfully asks if you want to shower together.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” You tell him as you splash some water on your face in the sink.
As you continue washing your face, you catch the reflection in the mirror as he stands behind you with the towel hanging low around his hips you can see his pelvic bones.
“It’s not against the rules,” Vale simply says, half-laughing.
 “Yes, but…” You suddenly forget what you’re about to say and turn around only to find him dropping his towel before he walks into the shower stall.
Your hands fly to cover your face but continue to see through the cracks between your fingers, “Okay, now all I can think about is naked Jesus,” you jokingly say.
Vale laughs as he catches what you said even though he’s inside the shower stall, laughing as he runs his hands to wash his golden tan skin. You leave the bathroom before you change your mind and join him in the shower.
-
YOU: Can’t believe I got to see naked Jesus [Laughs]
-
In the dressing room, you’re getting your make-up done and going to dry your hair next. You check for your appearance in the full-length mirror, making sure the bikini looks flattering on you when you hear someone coming from the hallway that connects here with the bedroom.
“Hey,” You don’t want to make it obvious that you’re glad to see him but you’re glad to see him.
“Hey,” Blake says back, grinning when he realizes that it’s you.
He stops on his track just checking you out, his eyes traveling up and down your body, “Been looking for you,” he says.
You know better not to fall on such words, “Oh, really?”
“Yeah,” he shortly says with a grin that is both hot and sweet. He then goes to his closet on the opposite wall and takes out a bucket hat, putting it on to show it to you.
“How do we think?” He asks.
You close your closet door and rest your hand against it, “Cute.”
He switches the bucket hat with a cap and puts it on while also making a dramatic pose for you, “How about now?”
It’s hard to look at his face when his abs keep distracting you and you chuckle at how he spreads his arms out, “Try putting it on backward,” you suggest.
Blake follows your suggestion, turning the cap without taking it off, and strikes another pose for you, “Yeah?”
You were right about the hat, he looks hot with his cap on backward, and just like he heard what you’re thinking, Blake spins around on his feet and almost stumbles as he gets back on his feet.
“I know I’m hot but try not to kiss me, okay?” he says.
Well, you can try not to but that doesn’t mean you won’t do it. You shake your head and suck air through your teeth, “Can’t promise you,” you playfully say.
 “Come here, give me a hug,” Blake says, holding his hand out at you.
You take it only for him to pull you close and hug you, burying his head in your neck to catch your scent, “How are you doing?”
You giggle as he rubs his nose in your neck and you get to put your hands on him, feeling his warm skin under your touch, “Good. You?”
Instead of answering, Blake draws you closer, molding his body to you to feel your whole body against him, and lowers his hands to your hips. You don’t mind though, he’s so big and you like how he envelops you whole.
You hear his overwhelmed sigh before he plants a kiss on your neck, “Damn! You smell so good,” he mutters.
“Well, I showered,” you respond with a witty answer.
“I should try that,” he responds with an even wittier answer.
Blake closes the door of his closet and heads for the door, “See you around.”
“See you around,” you say back with a flirty smile.
-
YOU: I know Blake and I haven’t talked much but there’s something there and I can’t wait to explore that.
-
It feels like it was a while ago that you get ready for the day and now the day has turned to night.
You have to change out of your bikini and into a dress, getting help from Adriana to tie the straps on your back. The girls are busy putting on make-up and looking their best to attract whoever they fancy, including you.
It’s not that hard to know that Blake indeed feels something for you, you sense it in the kiss he gave you during the game yesterday and the way he hugged you this morning, or the way he secretly gives you the eyes even though he’s sitting right next to Devon right now.
People can run their mouths all they want but their bodies can’t lie. You can’t fake a physical attraction.
You join Vale sitting on the lounger next to him with a glass of wine in hand, “Cute shirt!” You compliment his colorful printed shirt.
“Thank you,” Vale responds with a bright smile.
You get comfortable and take a small sip of your wine before asking something you’ve been curious to find out, “My sweet Jesus, do you find anyone you fancy in here?”
Vale scratches his beard as he thinks of an answer, “Honestly… no, not yet.”
Vale is gorgeous and hot, you vibe well with him and he’s earnest which tells you that he’s someone that you can trust. Despite all of those qualities, he’s not quite the type you’re looking for and you believe, it’s vice versa.
“What’s your type?”
“I don’t have such things. I think I never limit myself to a certain type of person. It’s whoever attracts me,” he replies and his words carry some wisdom in them.
To put it simply, he’s not attracted to anyone and therefore, it confirms your assumptions about him.
Vale brushes his long hair to the back, sending a few strands falling over his face, “How about you? Who do you fancy?”
You put your glass of wine down and turn your head around for the person you’re looking for, finding him talking to Tom by the firepit.
“For now, it’s Blake,” you answer.
“How about Elliott?” He asks, tucking his hair behind his ear.
“Elliott is... he is cute and all but I like Blake,” you answer, hinting that Blake is your priority.
Vale cranes his neck to see Blake and then slumps back down on his lounger, “It seems like Devon got him on a leash,” he says.
“Yeah,” you say while chuckling.
You turn your head to see Devon putting her leg over Blake’s lap, “but that’s not going to stop me though,” you add.
Vale cracks a laugh, “I like that,” he says.
“Right? I don’t see any rings on it so...” You decide not to finish your words and have a sip of your drink instead.
Talking about Blake gets you thinking to start making a move, separating him from Devon is going to be the hardest part so you decide to take a moment to refresh yourself before executing your plan.
“I’m going to powder my nose,” you excuse yourself as get up from the lounger.
Vale doesn’t reply but helps you by handing you your glass. As you start walking away though, he shouts, “Hey, you’re beautiful!”
You look over your shoulder and blow a kiss at him, “I know.”
-
YOU: From what I see is that Vale is looking for someone he can instantly connect with and I hope he finds it.
-
The heels you’re wearing are starting to irritate you, you switch into a comfortable pair of wedges sandals and then take your make-up pouch with you to the bathroom.
You take a tube of lip gloss and put on a layer over your lips while leaning close to the mirror. You smack your lips together and check if there’s anything you can fix, deciding that a little more blush won’t hurt.
As you’re about to apply it to your cheek, you immediately stop moving as you see someone come into the bathroom.
“Hey, gorgeous!” Devon sweetly says.
From how enthusiastic she sounds, you’re sure the intention isn’t as sweet as her greeting. You put down everything you’re holding and turn around.
“Hey, babe,” you greet back with less enthusiasm than her.
Devon sits on the edge of the bathtub and starts brushing wavy hair with her fingers, “How are you?”
You rest your hands on the surface of the sink and lean against it, “I’m good. You?”
“Good,” she shortly replies.
She plays with her nails and a while later, looks at you, “I love the dress,” she says.
It seems like the compliment is an effort to try to soften you for whatever trick she has up on her sleeve, you put on a smile for her and mutter, “Thank you.”
A moment passes just you and Devon looking at each other and the silence that hangs in the space in between only adds animosity in the room.
“I have something to tell you,” Devon finally reveals her true intentions on why she came here.
You keep your smile on and slightly tilt your head to the side, “Yes.”
Devon bites her lips and fiddles with her bangles around her dainty wrist, “I know you’ve been like... eyeing Blake,” she begins.
“Yes,” you immediately reply, showing her that you don’t mind making it an open competition with her for it.
“I want to be honest with you and I hope you understand that I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings,” she says with a smile, in contrast to her words, she looks rather enjoying it.
“Blake and I,” she pauses to keep you on your toes.
Devon then flips her hair to the back and continues, “We kissed.”
The thing that you fear the most has happened and you don’t want to give Devon the satisfaction, you calmly cross your arms in front of you and nod.
“Okay,” you say with a plain tone.
“Oh, my God! I’m sorry,” Devon says, being dramatic for the two of you.
She comes and gives you a hug which she thinks would cheer you up. You reluctantly accept it even though you know she’s pitying you.
“I just want to tell you that,” she says as she pulls away from the hug.
Devon indirectly tells you that she comes here just to break your spirit and you don’t know how to respond to that. You actually know how to respond to that but you know you’re better than that.
Once Devon left the bathroom, you turn back around to face the mirror again and lowly mutter, “What the actual fuck?”
-
YOU: How thoughtful of Devon on letting me know about their kiss but girl, what the fuck?
-
It seems like Lana is not going to announce any rule breaks tonight. She’s more likely to collect the rule breaks for now and will eventually turn up with the receipt.
You don’t know how you feel about it but you enjoy seeing the sheer disappointment on Devon’s face that she didn’t get the chance to brag about her kiss with Blake.
Talking about Blake, you reckon you should move on but how can you forget Blake in one night?
It’s impossible, not when you’ll always see him walking around the villa looking so fine and tempting. As you get on your bed, you catch him looking at you and slyly smiling at you.
You don’t want to fall back into it but the bad girl in you tells you to not shut him down completely so you decide to put on a thin smile in return.
That should be enough to tell him that you’re not pleased.
You look away and see your bed partner with her arms flexed as she’s braiding her dark hair. You notice that her arm muscles are so defined and it should be from hours spent in the gym working on them.
Curious, your hand reaches for her shoulder and lowers it to feel her lats, “Lil, how much do you lift?”
She’s tying the end of her hair with a scrunchie then looks over her shoulder, “About 140 to 156,” she answers.
“Girl!” You gasp in shock.
Looking at her lean figure and your hard guess at her body weight, she must be advanced in weightlifting.
You allow yourself to feel the muscles on her arms, from her trapezius muscle down to her bicep, “Remind me not to work with you,” you jokingly say.
Tom enters the room carrying a water tumbler in his hand, he stops right in the middle of the room and looks at everyone.
“Did anyone break any rules today?” He asks.
It’s useless to ask, no one is going to say anything unless the situation pressures them to talk. For instance, Blake is shaking his head as Tom is seeking his answer.
“Be good you two!” Tom says to both Blake and Devon, making a gesture that his eyes will always be on them.
Well, good luck with that because they already did break the rules and succeeded in lying right to his face.
“Goodnight, everyone,” Adriana says, blowing kisses around the room right before the lights are out.
Tom was wrong to fear that these people would break rules during the day. What Tom should be afraid of is what these people do in the dark.
-
YOU: What cuddles? I got to feel my bed partner’s muscles in my sleep [laughs]
-
In the morning, Jesus comes to your bed.
The bed quakes as Vale dives right into the space between you and Lili.
“Morning, beautiful!” Vale says, getting comfortable as he puts his hand over your waist.
“Morning,” you sleepily reply, groping around with your eyes closed to touch him.
“Your skin is so soft,” Lili says.
You turn your head to see Lili rubbing Vale’s back. Wanting to prove Lili’s words, you follow suit and rub your hand down his shoulder.
“It feels like a foreplay now,” Vale mumbles with his head buried in your pillow.
You continue your day with a quick workout and a meditating session with Vale. After that, you decide to skip the shower and put on a swimsuit, taking a few laps in the swimming pool.
Maybe it’s because you have someone to avoid that you keep yourself busy, but when you look at the time, it’s barely noon.
As you take a break from swimming and use the opportunity to enjoy the view of the sea shimmering under the morning sun, you hear a splash. You notice someone joins you in the pool and he swims right at you.
“Hey, morning,” Elliott softly greets.
You put all of your wet hair to the back and smile, “Morning!”
“How are you?” He asks, wiping the beads of water gathering under his chin.
“Alright, I guess,” You honestly answer.
You turn to the side to face him while keeping one hand resting on the edge of the pool, “You?”
“I’m great,” he replies with enthusiasm that matches his answer.
The sun hits right on his eyes, making them brighter yet fiercer and they’re just as good as weapons now. You can only hope Elliott knows how to use them.
“Uhm...” Elliott seems to have something to say but hesitates to do so, “I know you have your eyes on Blake.”
Welp, it’s that obvious? You nod since there’s no use in denying it.
“Do you... still have your eyes on him or...?”
So Elliott wants to know if you have given up on pursuing Blake and you can safely assume that he hopes to slide right into his spot.
“I already made him aware that I kind of fancy him but I’m not getting anything back so... I don’t know,” You honestly answer, you feel pity for yourself as you say those out loud.
“Mmm-hmm...” Elliott bobs his head as he takes your answer.
The water trickles down his face as he pushes his wet hair to the back, “And who is your second option?”
Your assumption is true, Elliott is looking for a way to get into you and you appreciate that he didn’t come on to you and make it one big chase. He’s so easy and laid-back, and you like that.
“You,” You answer.
A sweet smile rises on his face and expresses his happiness with a cute shout, “Yay!”
It’s not even a phony answer, if there’s anyone else you want to try to make a connection with, it’s him.
“I haven’t got the chance to ask you about our kiss,” he says, taking a step closer to you.
It’s getting dangerous now that he wants to talk about the kiss in this proximity where you can see that his eyes are green in this light.
“What do you think about it?”
“About our kiss?”
He nods as the smile has been replaced with a grin, “Yes.”
You recall the moment when he kissed you during the game, “That was very cute.”
He suddenly lets out a chuckle and scratches his head. Is he flustered or nervous? You have no idea.
“How much do you think a kiss costs?” He suddenly asks.
Oh. You sense trouble right away but you’ve been craving for a little something. A kiss will suffice, you reckon.
Elliott is intensely staring into your eyes as you consider his idea, grinning at the 50% chance that you’d say yes to it.
“Fuck...” You curse as you let out a sigh.
You try to get yourself out of it by averting your focus elsewhere, fixing your bikini, and reminding yourself of Lana and her stupid rules. However, when your eyes meet again, your mind is set right away.
It; ‘s like your bodies are drawn to each other, Elliott and you come at each other at the same time and kiss. Maybe it’s because both of you are relaxed and there’s no one else watching, the kiss feels much nicer than the one you shared before.
Elliott puts the right amount of everything, the lips, the tongue, and even the teeth, you like how he kisses you, hungry yet gentle.
You hear nothing but the smooching sounds of both of your lips lathering each other and your bodies moving in the water.
“Your kiss is just so good,” Elliott says as he takes a step back from you.
And just like that, you break the rules for the first time in the retreat.
-
YOU: I was bored. I wanted to make Blake jealous and Elliott, I have a soft spot for him so... yeah, I kissed him.
-
There’s just something about doing the things that you shouldn’t and doing it anyway, the rush, the thrill of it... it makes you feel so alive.
Now that you’ve got a taste of it, you want more.
Just like Jeff said, we have so many cookies in the jar, 200 grand of them to be exact, and eating one or two more cookies should be fine.
The next question is who do you want to have the cookies with?
Elliott is the easy choice, he’s cool, he’s so easy-going, he’s following the vibe but that’s also the problem, he’s easy and you don’t want easy.
If we’re talking about Blake... oh, yes, he’s not easy, not when Devon is keeping him on a short, tight leash and that tells you enough that she’s not confident about him.
You steal a few glances at her as she’s doing her makeup on the other side of the vanity table from you, looking at her and seeing how pretty she is, there’s no reason for her to be that insecure.
Or maybe you’re that threatening to her? Well, that thought amused you so much.
“Pick one for me!” Adriana says, showing you two different colors of lipsticks in her hands to help her choose one.
“Uhm...” you take a closer look at the color.
Adriana has gorgeous full lips so you choose one with a deep berry color that would suit her better, “This!”
You watch as she’s about to apply it on her lips when the cone in the room lights up and chimes, startling everyone in their seats.
“Ah!” Adriana squeals in surprise.
“Hello, girls!” Lana greets.
“Hello, Lana,” You put down everything you’re holding, getting nervous that it’s about time for Lana to announce the rule breaks.
“I have given the chance for Blake to go on a date with one of you,” Lana announces.
Oh? Is it finally your chance to test the water and see if Blake is on board? You look around to see if anyone is also anticipating this but Devon is the only one looking a little fidgety on her seat.
“Blake has chosen...”
The real question is: is Blake ballsy enough to break away from Devon’s leash? It’s time to find out.
“... Devon.”
-
YOU: Un-fucking-believeable!
-
Devon is smiling from ear to ear after hearing Blake has chosen her for the date.
You believe Blake is playing it safe by choosing Devon, oh, well, it’s his loss, not yours. You continue with getting ready for the night with the rest of the girls.
You check yourself in the mirror and like what you see, especially the dress that enhances the curves on your body.
“What a waste of an outfit!” You mutter, allowing yourself to feel upset about not getting chosen.
Someone puts her arm around you and says, “Oh! We look so hot!”
You look at both of you and Adriana’s reflections in the mirror and suddenly gain your confidence back. Since when you’re not dressing for other people, you’re dressing for yourself.
Everyone is hanging out in the firepit. You’re sharing the small sofa with Vale and Lili is taking the other end, talking to Adriana and Tom with drinks in hands.
It only takes a couple of days for everyone to get used to each other and you guess it’s because everyone shares the same vibe, everyone simply wants to have fun and they don’t let Lana’s rules stop them from doing it.
Unfortunately, you get called to the interview room and do your duty as a TV show contestant, telling the camera about everything to its tiniest details.
That’s what they need for the TV, something juicy, and the juicier the better.
You promise to keep yourself as genuine as possible and only tell the truth, not fabricating any of it. Not going to lie, you feel tempted at times but you realize that one day, you’ll be out of here and you don’t want to regret something you said or did in the show.
You bump into Elliott on your way out as it’s his turn next and you squeeze his hand as you walk past each other.
“Have fun in there!” You playfully say.
Instead of going back to the firepit, you make a turn to the bedroom, wanting to take a moment for yourself to unwind. You take your shoes off once you get to your bed and take a hearty sip of water.
It’s not life if you always get what you want. Blake enters the room not long after you, his shirt is undone and you guess he must’ve just come back from his date with Devon.
What is it with him with his shirt flies open though? You have a hot body, yes, you get it.
Anyway, you want to ignore him but he smiles the second he spots you.
“Hello,” he softly says.
You put on a small smile and greet back, “Hey.”
You cap your water tumbler and put it on your bedside table, “Back from your date, huh?”
Instead of answering, Blake comes at you and does not stop until his body crashes against yours, taking you with him as he topples on your bed.
You’re giggling as he pins you under and then you gently push him away to sit on your bed. You don’t want to give it to him east, not after he chose someone else over you.
“So, how was the date?” You casually ask while fixing the straps of your dress.
Blake sits next to you, leaning back with his hands propped against the mattress, “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what I want,” he vaguely says.
Well, that’s what he gets for keeping his options way too open. Then Blake turns his head at you then continues, “But I know who I want.”
You get it that he’s hinting at you from the way he raises his eyebrow and slyly smiles at you. But you play dumb instead, wanting to hear him saying it out loud.
“And it’s Devon?” You say.
He dramatically closes his eyes and lets out a low sigh, “It’s you.”
You pretend to be surprised to hear it, “Oh, it’s me?”
Blake nods and smiles, he rubs his hand down his abs, trying to make you look at it.
“What do you think?”
You’re sure he’s talking about what he just said, not the abs, and honestly, it sounds not that convincing.
“I don’t know what to feel about it. You just came back from a date with someone else,” you point out the only way that gets in the way of trusting his words.
Blake drags his hand on the bed until he finds your hand and holds it, “I know I have something going on but I wish we did talk more, get to know you more.”
You don’t know what he’s going with it but giving him a chance to explain himself.
“But just know... Just know that I feel something for you,” he says.
It should be a triumphant moment, knowing that the guy you like is liking you back but you feel conflicted instead.
Blake inhales air and then stares into your eyes, “I want you to know that,” he concludes with his thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand.
You want to give him one more chance to prove himself, to prove that he’ll act exactly like what he said to you.
You nod and smile, “Alright.”
But for now, you want to take his words as they are, that it’s simply him telling you what he’s feeling.
-
YOU: There’s something about him that’s calling for you and you kind of want to answer that.
-
As if Lana is aware that the two of you are alone which means there's a big chance of rule-breaking, the cone in the room chimes, making you jolt on your bed.
"Please gather everyone in the cabana," Lana orders.
You're clutching your chest as you walk to the cabana, knowing that it's the time: Lana is going to announce the rule breaks.
The plan is you'll sit there and not going to say anything, and you're aware of how flawed that plan is.
A moment after everyone assembled in the cabana, the cone chimes and lights up as she sits in the middle of the round, glass table.
"Good evening, everyone," Lana starts.
"Hello, Lana!" A few replies in a not-so-enthusiastic tone.
Before Lana talks further, you glance at Elliott and he catches you looking, the anxiety is also drawn on his face.
"The rules of my retreat have already been broken," Lana drops the truth right away.
"Oh, no!" Lili exclaims with her eyes going side to side.
Tom looks upset already with his clasped hands pushed close to his mouth.
"Wow!" he comments with a plain tone.
He takes a deep breath and finally be the one who confronts everyone, "Is there anybody that wants to come clean?"
-
YOU: I broke the rules but I'm not telling anyone shit.
-
You try to avoid looking in Tom's direction but it's hard when he's sitting right across from yours so you look the other away only to catch Elliott looking at you.
Elliott seems not to know how to put on a good poker face, he keeps grinning but the kind that only makes him appear guilty.
Adriana is the first to spot it, "Elliott?"
Elliott lets out a nervous chuckle, "Nah. Not me."
He gives it away as he can't stop grinning and as soon as he glances your way, you subtly give him a head shake, telling him not to say anything. Then you continue to act dumb, playing with your hair like it has nothing to do with you.
"I'm going to come clean," someone says.
All heads are turned to see that it's coming from Jeff and they all seem to see this one coming.
"It was me who initiated it, we had a moment—"
Jeff's explanation gets cut off as Lili interrupts and asks, "Who's we?"
Jeff licks his lips and slowly turns his head toward you, and then you see his eyes flick toward Issa, "Issa and I," he answers.
Issa gets flustered, smiling that everyone now knows who Jeff got it on with. Not that it's a secret but she looks smitten, they're showing a big potential to become an established couple in this retreat.
"This kiss has cost the group $3,000," Lana announces.
It's like taking a shot, hearing how much money lost to a kiss is that bitter aftertaste. But that's not the worst of it yet, you know that the rule breaks don't stop there.
"They were not the only ones to break the rules."
There you go, you mutter in your head and gulp air that people would start digging deeper to find out whoever cost them another $3,000.
"What? No!" Vale says, scanning everyone to spot any guilty faces.
You continue your dumb act, playing with your hair, brushing it with your fingers even though it's looking good. Your luck runs out as Tom notices the error in your behavior.
"You're good? It wasn't you, right?" Tom asks.
It would be nice if he just shot you with a real bullet and you would have died on the spot, that way you don't have to deal with his question anymore.
You put on a calm face, staying quiet and not intending to say anything. You notice Elliott is looking at you and eventually, people connect the dots together.
"Oh, no, you guys kissed!" Adriana says, being the first to figure it out.
The truth is out, all that is left to do is own up to it.
"I did want to tell you guys but I..." you give up on trying to justify your act.
"I'm sorry," you sincerely say.
Elliott looks at everyone and apologizes as well, "We are sorry. We really are," he earnestly says.
"The kiss has cost the group $3,000."
You cringe at the amount of money you spent for a kiss and even though it's not your money, it's still kind of stings.
"Expensive kiss, that one," Vale comments while scratching his facial hair.
"I think that'll be it," Adriana says, or more like hoping that that was just it, no more rule breaks.
Lana hears her and she doesn't intend to stop until everyone committed their crimes.
"That is not all," she says, "There was one more breach of the rules."
Your eyes dart toward Devon and Blake who sit next to each other at the end of the long sofa, it must be the one kiss she bragged to you about.
"Are you kidding me?" Tom reacts with a fed-up tone.
Devon looks at Blake but he seems to want to keep his mouth shut. You're not a lip reader but it's not hard to read what Devon said as she fixes her dress, "Shit."
The tension keeps building as everyone waits for the last confession Lana needs so she can calculate the damage and come up with the bill.
A moment passes and Devon seems to be uncomfortable keeping it to herself any longer, "We should tell them," she says to Blake.
Everyone is exclaiming and yelling at them all at once while Blake is sitting there, taking it all in. Once everyone calms down, he coyly admits everything, "We kissed. I'm sorry."
"These rule breaks have cost the group $6,000," Lana announces.
Tom's mouth hung open, "You kissed twice?"
Blake licks his lips and then nods.
"What the—" Vale doesn't even finish his words, he reclines on his sofa instead and looks up.
You know the one kiss they did and that's thanks to Devon's thoughtfulness, but the other one, you wonder when they did that.
"It was yesterday," Devon says.
"And the other one?" Tom asks.
"On the date earlier," Devon answers.
Wait... so Blake went on that date and kissed Devon, then he came back and told you that you're the one he wants. What the fuck?
-
YOU: I am so annoyed right now.
-
And you're not the only one.
Even though she's just a talking robot, you can tell that Lana is not pleased with these rule breaks. You can hear it from the way she informs the current prize money.
"The prize fund now stands at $188,000."
"What's done is done, guys," Blake coyly says, and somehow, that only pisses you more.
"In the first 24 hours, most of you have already broken the rules."
Tom looks at the people sitting on the long sofa, "Do you hear that, guys?"
"You have left me with no choice. From this point forward, all fines will be doubled," Lana delivers shocking news.
Tom's eyes widen like he's seeing his nightmare turn into a reality. He claps his hands together and leans back, "That's just great!"
Everyone is too stunned by the news that no one is saying anything. While you just can't wait to end the day already.
"Goodbye," Lana ends with a grim greeting.
Lana is indeed pissed and she deserved to be. You even pissed at what you did but what pissed you more than losing than losing $12,000 in one night is Blake.
Fucking Blake won't get away with it.
-
YOU: So Blake is that kind of player... oh, how typical! How boring! [Rolls eyes]
-
The boys are grouping on the terrace instead of going inside to get ready for bedtime so you follow the girls to the dressing room and it’s just perfect.
Telling Devon about what you know face to face, you doubt that she’ll believe you for it, she’d likely think that you’re trying to ruin things for her. This way, with the girls gathered together, you know they’ll support you and see the true intention behind it.
You need to pick your time right, you don’t want to interrupt in the middle of them complaining about the rules and the money, especially when you’re responsible for the $3,000 deduction.
“I mean… I’m trying to be respectful to Lana but some men are worth it,” Devin says while undoing her hair bun.
She pauses to correct her statement, “Not all, but some,” she emphasizes.
The other girls are busy wiping their makeup clean and half-heartedly listening to what Devon is saying and only reacting with short answers.
“Blake and I, we might be able to build something genuine,” Devon says.
Hearing that gets your blood boiling and you can’t keep biting your tongue, you let out a sigh and look at Devon, “You know what, Devon?”
Suddenly, everyone stops everything they’re doing and they probably know that there’s this slight hostility between you and Devon, you wouldn’t be surprised if they think you’re going to fight her.
Now that you have everyone’s attention, you start telling everyone what you know is true. You take a shallow breath before talking, “After he came back from that date, he went to the bedroom and I happened to be there. I asked him about the date and he was like “wish we did talk more, get to know each other more”.”
Lili lets her hair fall and gasps, “No!”
You keep going while constantly reminding yourself to keep calm, “And he held my hand telling me I’m the one he wants right after he came back from the date,” you tell Devon right at her face.
There’s no joy in telling her that she got played, you feel bad for her because you know how shitty that feels.
“That’s muggy,” Issa comments.
“I think he’s trying to have his cake and eat it too,” Adriana says, gripping the hairbrush in her hand.
You look at Devon and she’s in utter shock, you hate to ruin her picture-perfect of what she and Blake could be, but you need her to know and what she’s going to do with the truth is up to her.
“And I’m saying this, as woman to woman, I don’t want you to be that girl who falls for his bullshit,” You conclude.
It turns quiet in the room and everyone seems to give Devon the space to process this, they continue what they’re doing and doing it quietly.
After a moment, Lili tells Devon, “Maybe you should explore other options.”
Devon leans on the table and says, “I think I will.”
-
YOU: Oh, Blake, just know that you fucked it up and you deserve everything that comes to you.
-
“The fuck?” Vale blurts out.
Vale is that one person you feel like you can come and talk about everything with, out of everyone, you trust him the most. You come to his bed to tell him everything about what’s going down between you, Devon, and Blake.
He quickly lowers his voice since Blake is lying on his bed, “And what did Devon say?”
You shrug, “I don’t know.”
 “If she’s smart then she knows better not to…” his words trail off as he puts his hands behind his head as he rests his back against the headboard.
“That’s right,” you agree, kicking your feet in the air as you lay on your stomach.
He plays with his beard as he looks at you, “Then how about your plan?”
You’re so busy being upset about the Blake situation that you don’t think about it until he asks you, you realize you are just as single as he is now.
“Oh, fuck,” you blink your eyes in slight shock.
Vale laughs looking at your reaction, he sees the direness in your eyes, “Is there… uh, anyone else that you like?”
You secretly look around the room to look for your second choice but you witness Devon’s dramatic entrance, she turns her head at Blake and cryptically smiles at him before walking past their shared bed.
Everyone feels the tension in the room as Devon goes to Elliott’s bed and gets on it, witnessing the drama unfolding in real time.
You slowly turn your head back to Vale and say, “Well, there goes my second choice.”
-
YOU: Why did she have to take Elliott too? Ugh!
-
This morning, when you come to the bathroom to shower, you find Tom there, counting the condoms inside the little tray next to the sink.
You burst out laughing at the sight, "Having a busy morning I see," you playfully say.
Tom briefly looks at you and puts the condoms back into the tray, "There are eight of them and it's got to stay at eight," he says.
Tom couldn't possibly think that not using condoms doesn't mean that everyone is not rulebreaking. But you have to admit that he's dedicated to his role as the sex officer in the villa.
In the afternoon, you join Adriana sunbathing in the firepit, sharing the sofa.
"I can't believe that I'm about to say this..." you sigh while looking up at the sky with your eyes closed.
Adriana puts her hands on her sides, also looking up with eyes closed, "What?"
"I miss sex so much," you sigh.
Adriana softly sighs then a while later says, "Same."
You gently elbow her side, "At least, you have a man on your bed," you say.
"Yes but he doesn't want to do anything," she grumbles, reminding you that his partner is Lana's top student.
Being single means you have nothing to do with the situation, you want to rule break but have no one to do it with. Meanwhile having a man and not wanting to do anything, is much, much worse.
"Like I need something to happen!" Adriana says with an annoyed sigh.
You suddenly feel bad for Adriana but you also can't help yourself from laughing and she eventually laughs along with you.
When the day gets too hot for a sunbathe, you decide that it's time to cool down. Slowly, you get into the pool and sit on the edge, facing the view of the sea with the blue sky looking like something you see on a postcard.
Someone is swimming and apparently, whoever that is coming your way. You wait until he emerges from the water and sees Blake.
What a way to ruin your good day!
Blake brushes his dark hair to the back and wipes the beads of water around his eyes, he smiles as he fixes his eyes on you, then stands next to you.
"What are you up to?"
You remind yourself that you're a grown woman who can handle someone like him gracefully even though he doesn't deserve it.
"Just admiring the beautiful view," you calmly answer.
He looks at the view and sighs, "Yeah, it's beautiful just like you."
You feel like gagging but resist the urge to, "Thank you," you say with a thin smile.
There are two reasons why Blake is talking to you right now. One is the possibility that Devon confronted him about last night's situation and told him that she heard everything from you. If reason one is true then it's reason number two, he's going for his second option and unfortunately, it's you.
"I think it's about time we have this conversation. I want to see where's your head at," he says.
It's not the words, it's the way he casually talks to you and completely ignores the fact that he played you and Devon.
But remember, gracefully.
"To be honest, I did think you're the hottest person in here when I first glanced at you and I feel this sexual energy whenever you're looking into my eyes," you say.
Blake is grinning as he looks at you, liking what you're saying about him, "I'm open to see where this takes us," he says.
It seems like Devon dumped him and it's reason number two after all.
You shyly smile and say, "I do like you."
You tip your head to the side and continue talking, "But I want to know that I'm forming a connection here and not because I'm available by default."
The glints in his eyes dim as if someone flips the switch off the second he hears what you said.
"I see the other couples and they have this sort of trust in each other. It makes me want to trust the person I'm with," you lay it out as gently as possible.
Because how can you trust him after what he did? Even if you give him the chance, you're not sure that Blake is capable of change.
"For now, I want to be a bit more free, and figure out what I want while also getting to know everyone," you conclude, rejecting him in the nicest way possible.
Blake takes a moment to process your answer and you give him just the space. A while later, he nods and wipes the beads of water on his chin.
"I guess, it is what it is," he coyly says.
You see, this is not the first time you're facing a player like him. In the past, you gave that person a chance thinking that you could change him but it only ended up hurting you and you surely don't want to go through that again.
-
YOU: I think it's about time I get a little bit more careful in choosing people that I want to be with.
-
Days have passed and you can see that couples start forming in the villa.
Jeff has been going strong with Issa ever since that first rule break. Tom, despite being Lana's loyal follower, is having something going on with Adriana. Last but not least, Devon is smitten by Elliott, it's proven by two rule breaks they admitted last night.
And you, you'd better off alone than having to be with Blake. He was hot until he showed his true colors.
"I thought I was going to be the first to rule break," Vale says as you apply sunblock on his back.
"I didn't think that I would be the one missing all the actions," he continues with a crisp laugh.
You add more sunblock for his lower back and lather in on his tattooed skin. You're dry-humping his back once you're done applying sunblock.
"You are getting some actions right now," you jokingly say.
You both laugh and that's how you survive these past few days. Vale has been a very reliable friend, he's trustworthy and earnest, you talk about everything with him because he likes having these kinds of deep talk.
"You know what we need?" You ask Vale then sip your water.
Vale ties his long hair into a messy bun, "What?"
"We need new meat in the villa," you say, pushing the sunglasses you wear up the bridge of your nose.
Vale nods in agreement, then his hand reaches for the cone sitting on the small round table next to him.
"Lana, I know you'll be my main girl but we need new meat in the villa," he pleads while seductively stroking her cone-shaped body.
"I think that should be considered as a rule break," you joke.
Ask and you shall receive, Lana says.
She makes everyone come to the cabana in the afternoon and you share the sofa with Issa, waiting for the cone to chime in anticipation.
"Hello, everyone," Lana greets.
"Hi, Lana!"
You feel at ease knowing that she wouldn't call you out for rulebreaking but you're ready for some drama today.
"I have observed some early signs that connections may be starting to form. Therefore, I am sending two people on a romantic date," Lana announces.
She's going to send the couples on a date? And what about you? Is it really Lana when she delivers good news?
"I'm hoping it's us," Issa says to Jeff.
Everyone is already hyped for the date when Lana is not done talking yet.
"So that I can put your current connections to the test, these dates will be with two new arrivals."
Now that's the Lana you know. You look at the couples and their expressions change into panic ones.
"Did she say new arrivals?" Adriana asks with her eyes almost popping out of her sockets.
-
YOU: Damn! Lana woke up and chose to fuck shit up.
-
"I have allowed the new dates to choose who they would like to take on a date."
It's kind of unfair that the new guests are only allowed to choose from the coupled-up guests but Lana is brewing some drama in the villa and you're here for it.
"They're coming in hot and heavy, ready to fuck everybody," you comment, provoking the nervous couples.
From the other end of the sofa, Vale is holding in his laughter, he knows what you're doing to the others.
"The first new arrival is... Seungmin."
"I like the name," Lili says.
Everyone tries to guess what he'd look like from just his name but you notice that Tom is looking so nervous, realizing that Adriana could get chosen for the date.
"Seungmin has chosen... Adriana."
It seems like what Tom fears the most has just become reality. Tom and Adriana exchange a look that only they know what they mean.
Lana continues with the announcement of the second guest, "The second new arrival is... Cara."
You can't pass the chance to provoke them more, "Cara sounds like she's ready to get wild," you innocently mutter.
Now it's the girls' turn to get nervous, you see that Devon is looking displeased, maybe it's the previous incident haunting her.
"Cara has chosen... Elliott."
It really is not a good day to be either Tom or Devon, their luck will eventually run out but they didn't know that it'd be today.
"Adriana and Elliott, It's time for you to get ready for your dates," Lana orders.
They leave the cabana to get ready for their dates with the new arrivals and you envy them, you want to go on a date too.
Jealousy aside, you're excited for the new guests, especially this Seungmin guy.
-
YOU: Girl, I can't wait to see how the night turns out!
-
It's embarrassing that everyone in the dressing room witnessed you tripping over your heeled shoes and falling on your butt.
Lili is too late to catch you, she offers her hand to help you get up but you lie down on the floor instead, laughing in embarrassment.
"Are you drunk?" Tom jokingly asks.
You shake your head and sigh, "No, I'm just so horny," you joke back.
The boys and the girls are going their separate ways. You follow the flow, walking to the firepit with the other girls and sitting prettily on the sofa, waiting for the ones going on dates to return.
The one who has been losing her sanity the longer her man going on the date is Devon. She's been rambling and grumbling like a fussy child.
"If he did something, I'll know right away," Devon mutters.
You don't know who she's talking to but since you're sitting close to her, you feel obliged to respond to it.
"Yep," you say, validating her.
Devon shouldn't be scared whether anyone knows because Lana will know and she knows everything.
The first one coming back from their date is Adriana and the new guest, Seungmin, linking their arms together as they enter the firepit.
"Oh, here they come," Lili tells everyone of their arrival.
All of the girls' heads are turned to see them.
Your curiosity about this Seungmin guy is finally answered. Tall, with broad shoulders, his dark hair is pushed to the back with a few strands hanging over his forehead and the faint moonlight casts a shadow over his face, defining his masculine features of sharp jaws and high cheekbones.
And when he smiles, you see those facial features turn soft all at once.
-
YOU: Oh, my God! This guy, Seungmin, is cute [Smiles]
-
"If Elliott walks in holding their arms like that, I'm going to cry," Devon sadly mutters.
You're about to say something to comfort her but Lili goes ahead, asking Adriana and Seungmin about the date.
"How was it? How was the date?"
Adriana briefly looks at him and answers it for both of them, "It was nice, romantic even."
"Oh?" You blurt out, sensing that Adriana may switch beds tonight.
"Lana gave him a free pass to kiss but we didn't, I told him about Tom," Adriana says.
Adriana and Tom have been with each other since day one, they're a couple with great restraint so you're glad that Adriana is not tempted to explore more options.
Meanwhile, Devon is starting to look a little green after hearing that the new arrivals are given a free pass to kiss during their dates.
Issa spots the other has returned from the date and blurts out, "Oh, no they hold hands."
Devon's head snaps to the back, looking at where the boys are gathered on the terrace.
She turns her head back and her mouth curls downward. You immediately scoot closer to offer your shoulder, rubbing her back as she starts crying.
You turn your head to see Elliott introducing the new girl to the boys and he's looking all bright and smiley.
"Not going to lie, that's kind of sus," you say.
You didn't even mean to put salt on Devon's wound, you just don't expect Elliott to be that kind of guy, you know, the Blake kind.
Everyone eventually gathers in the firepit and Elliott proceeds with his duty to introduce the new girl to everyone.
Cara is Italian and your eyes dart toward Vale, that this girl can be his type. In response to that, Vale is eyeing Seungmin, hinting that you have one for you too.
This eventful night turns out to be a good one.
Adriana and Tom are still sharing the bed and thankfully, so are Devon and Elliott. You're relieved that Elliott turns out to be not the kind of guy.
The new guests have to voluntarily sleep on the available spots, Cara shares the bed with Blake while Seungmin shares the bed with Vale.
You're meant to look at Vale but Seungmin happens to be there and since he catches your eyes, you may as well smile and flirt with your eyes.
You don't know what you feel about him yet but you hope that he's not the Blake kind.
-
YOU: Not everyone forgetting that new guests also mean new temptations [laughs]
-
"No one is breaking the rules, right?" Tom says the moment the lights are on.
Everyone is not having it but no one is saying anything as they're sleepy and struggling to open their eyes. You quickly sip water to refresh yourself and not skipping the chance to take a jab a Tom.
"The next rule break is going to be Adriana's self-gratification," you say with a grin.
Adriana lets out a dry chuckle and holds all of her hair to the side, "Might be. Don't leave me alone in a room," she says.
Lana chimes in for the usual morning greeting, welcoming the new guests, and ends it with a satirical message.
"Enjoy your day of celibacy!"
Since the boys are taking over the open gym at the beach, you skip working out and go for a swim with Lili. You take a few laps and have a chat with her.
In the cabana, you see that Devon is talking to the new girl, Cara.
"Should we get in there and intervene?" Lili asks.
"No," you immediately answer.
You blow water out of your nose and wipe it away, "But get ready, just in case."
In the other part of the villa, you spot the new guy, Seungmin heading down to the beach in a plain white t-shirt and black swimming trunks.
"Cute guy. 11 o'clock," you lowly mutter.
Lili clocks him right away, she's lowering her head until her chin dips in the water.
"You think he's cute?"
"Duh!" You react with a dramatic eye roll.
Lili chuckles and stacks her hands on the edge of the pool, "Is he your type though?"
Seungmin is indeed cute but truthfully, he's not the type that you usually go for, someone with a bit of an edge to them. You feel some sort of attraction toward him but it's not enough to pull you in.
"On papers? No," you honestly answer.
"Have you talked to him?"
"Not yet," you reply.
You look at Lili and wonder why she asks you all of that when she should be calculating her chance with him.
"Are you going to talk to him?" You ask her back.
Lili purses her mouth as she thinks of an answer, "Maybe. I will," she answers.
There's not much thing happens during the day and somehow, you feel excited for the night.
You put on a black dress, a red lipstick, and before you go out of the door, you take a look at yourself in the mirror, you look ravishing.
It's kind of sad though that you did all that only to sit by the firepit all alone and it's messing a little with your good mood.
It would be perfect for anyone to come and save your day but what do you—
"Hi, how are you?"
You look up and see Seungmin, he looks taller as he's standing over you, "Hi, I'm good."
"May I sit?" He politely asks.
"Please," you scoot a little to the side to make space for him even though the sofa could fit five people.
Seungmin sits next to you, spreading his legs open a little, and rests his hand on his knee. You notice that he has quite big pairs of hands and evident veins on the back of them.
"I came here wanting to talk to you, get to know you," he casually says as if he didn't just tell you right away what his true intentions are.
But you dig that, you like his confidence and the way he's looking at you right now like you're the only girl existing on earth.
"Tell me something about yourself," he says.
"I didn't know I was interviewing for a job," you joke with a laugh.
He laughs and it's the quiet kind, but you see that he's enjoying your joke.
"I'm a videographer," you tell him a piece about yourself.
"Is it the same as a filmmaker?" He curiously asks.
"Not really. Videographers film their own material, we work with cameras, shoot them ourselves, and edit them. It's uh... a lot to explain," you stop yourself before it gets too boring.
"It's not just beauty on the outside, huh?" He coyly says as if he didn't just compliment you and make you flustered.
"Of course not," you cheekily say with a grin.
"Yeah, I noticed," he agrees.
Your cheeks are heating and your body somehow turns to face him, answering his body language all the while his eyes are not straying away from yours, not even for a second.
"How about you?" You ask, trying to keep the conversation going.
"I'm an athlete. A baseball player," he answers.
"Oh, wow!" You didn't mean to make it sound that surprised.
Oh, it's even more embarrassing than the time you fell in the dressing room. You keep yourself together and quickly say something to explain your reaction.
"That explains the uh... broad shoulders," you say.
Your eyes unknowingly flick down at his hand again and your mouth gets ahead of your brain, "And the veiny hands."
Seungmin softly chuckles, he holds his hands out at you and lets you look at them as you please.
"You like them?"
You shyly laugh and skip on answering, barely functioning as his eyes are gazing into yours again.
-
YOU: He has this beautiful smile. He has these beautiful eyes, I am being swept away by his charm [Smiles]
-
Seungmin doesn't have eyes like Elliott's, they're brown yet they have the power to slowly pull you under.
You were so wrong to think that there's not enough attraction to pull you in because Seungmin is not only pulling you in, he asks you to come drown in his warm brown eyes.
Other than that, his eyes have the power to make you say your thoughts out loud.
"You have such beautiful eyes," you say, unconsciously leaning closer to look into his eyes.
"Oh, they're dilating," you gasp, seeing the black in the middle of the brown becomes larger.
Seungmin softly smiles hearing your innocent, almost too naive talks.
"You know your pupils dilate when you see someone you're attracted to," he says.
"Really?"
He nods with the scintillating smile still on his face.
"Does that mean you're attracted to me?" You ask with a mix of shy and seductive smiles.
"Yes, I am, I'm attracted," he confidently confirms.
You finally find the kind of guy Seungmin belongs in. Seungmin is the kind of guy that should come with a warning sign, he looks cute and harmless but a layer is under that, he's a lethal man who knows what he wants and gets it.
"I want to get to know you," he says.
"Me too," you say back.
"I want to get to know you more because I see that you have more beautiful things inside you," he adds.
Not going to lie, that's the sweetest thing you ever heard a guy say to you in a long time. You don't want to overanalyze it, you want to simply accept them as they are. Also, you can see that Seungmin meant every word he said.
"Would you let me?" He asks, tilting his head to the side as he maintains eye contact with you.
"Yes. I'd love that," you tell him.
The smile on Seungmin's face grows wider and it looks incredibly cute on him like he couldn't get cuter than this. His hand reaches for yours and holds it by the fingers.
"How do you feel about sharing a bed?"
No offense to Lili but you've been craving having a man on your bed so you nod at him.
The stare gets intense as he gets closer, leaving a few inches of space between your faces.
"Then how do you feel about sharing a kiss?"
The more you look into his eyes, the more compliant you are to his wishes. It's not like you don't want to kiss him, only that you wish you could do more than kisses.
But a kiss... it should be enough for now.
"I'd love that too," you answer.
Seungmin puts his hand under your chin, gently grabbing at it to bring you closer to him and slowly, he plants his lips on you.
No, it's not because you haven't kissed in the last few days, it's him, Seungmin got you completely charmed that you find yourself returning his kiss with the same eagerness.
"Oh, my God!" You gasp in awe once you break the kiss.
Seungmin is only smiling in response, he knows that you feel it too. The matching energy, the surge of excitement, the sexual tension, the electrifying chemistry, you both feel them all.
"I got your lipsticks all over me, aren't I?" He asks.
"Yes," you hurriedly help him wipe it off clean from around his mouth and nose.
And just like that, you broke another rule only this time you're not doing it out of boredom or avenging someone.
You broke the rules with Seungmin because he feels right.
-
YOU: Oh, we were just so in the moment that we forgot about the rules. Was it worth it though? Yes. Six thousand times yes.
-
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crusty-chronicles · 1 year
Note
is there any chance you could add killua for the airheaded but strong s/o headcanons? If not, then no worries, I just love how you write them!
Yeah, I don't mind but it's gonna be platonic because I'm a little iffy about writing for him romantically. He's just a boy 🥺🥺🥺 This is mostly a crack fic.
BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Killua (HxH)
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Honestly tried to kill you at one point
Oh you're strong huh?
Then proceeds to hit you with everything he's got, only to see that it hardly affected you. (Kinda like the way he first treated Zushi)
After that he's petty, but impressed.
Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉 You've earned his respect 🥳🥳🥳
You're basically Gon 2.0
And he hates it
Cannot take you two anywhere
"We should break the lock to get in." Gon suggested.
"Are you stupid?" You scoffed.
"What's the point of having a door if you're just gonna break it?"
And Killua is momentarily at peace that at least one of you has some sense. Until you open your mouth again.
"Obviously we should smash open a window."
And Gon is nodding along enthusiastically
"You're right! What would we do without you 🤩"
And Killua is just 😮‍💨.
He is the parent of the group and I will die on this hill
If Gon's the sun, you're a nuke
He's constantly dragging you away from Hisoka
Nope. Not today
Why do you insist on talking to strangers.
No scratch that.
Why do you insist on talking to creepy strangers????
It gives him a massive headache everytime you almost get abducted.
Honestly thought about putting a tracker on you to avoid this happening.
But then he remembers you're practically indestructible so he drops it.
Is afraid Illumi will come for you and hurt you.
He was never allowed to have friends, and after Illumi threatened you and Gon at the Hunter Exam, he's very protective.
But then he remembers something you said after Greed Island.
"The three of us are all gonna become the best of the best. We're gonna get all wrinkly and old together and still kick butt!!! We're gonna stick together no matter what!"
And it temporarily quells the fear of his brother.
It makes him look forward to that outcome and gives him something to fight a little harder for.
When it comes to fighting, he does get a little envious of how you and Gon just rush in without thinking.
And how you always manage to win despite the circumstance.
But he never feels left behind because of it.
Like with Gon, he won't baby you, just call you an idiot and move on.
You fell?
Get up loser.
You can't read?
Find somebody else to translate. Or he'll make you do it and be laughing nonstop while you struggle to pronounce the word "Apple"
"Gon what color's an orange?"
"An orange is the same color as it's name. Just like a lemon."
Please somebody take you two back to first grade.
Killua is begging.
Even though he won't baby you, he'll rush as fast as he can if you're in actual danger.
You got caught by the phantom troupe?
"Are you completely brain dead!?!!? Where are you!?!?"
Now he regrets not putting a tracker on you.
"This nice clown man gave me candy and told me to follow him." You tell him over CALL.
"HISOOKAAAAA!!!!"
He is screaming and panicking.
You trespassed into the mountains his family lives to see him.
"WHY???? DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT MIKE!?!?"
And when he gets there he sees you rubbing the monstrous canine's tummy. Petting him and calling him a "Good Boy."
Names he has called you out of spite: Idiot, Moron, Dummy, Psycho, Airhead, Ditz, and probably Pea Brain
On the bright side, you are Alluka's favorite person.
"Give me your ribs."
"Oh, are you hungry? Let's see if we can't find you a smokehouse for those ribs."
And it baffles both souls so much that Nanika accepts that as fulfilling her command.
Plus you have endless amounts of energy that works to drain both girls out. Even when they've both already swapped twice.
Killua designates you her official babysitter when he's busy.
You are a complete lunatic and moron, but you're one of the people he trusts the most.
Even if he does complain about you a lot.
MASTERLIST
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Hi could u write max x sunshine desi reader where she is his teammate and everyone (all drivers and team principles)adores her and she is known for wearing saris to events and award ceremonies and max and her having a grumpy x sunshine trope
Also like pr games for insta or smthing where he pronounce hindi words or muhavare and its cutee and fans love them!!!!!
I loved superstitions!!!!
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Swear Words ✧˚ · .
Summary: Based on the anon's request!
⟿ mv x desi!reader ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
⟿ fluff ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
masterlist ☾☼
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max was not grumpy. he was fun, and he was slightly unhinged, but he was not grumpy. though, in comparison to his teammate, y/n, everyone else seemed grumpy. she was quiet literally sunshine embodiment.
the two had been teammates for two seasons now, and everyone loved her. as they should. secretly, max also loved her. he would never say it out loud, though.
his favourite thing about her was the way she dressed up for any and all non-race event. she was always in a kurta or a sari. max had not known what her attire was called till he heard her talking about it once to charles' girlfriend. he could have done the sensible thing and just asked her himself, but finding out the way that he had done was easier.
max and y/n's relationship had really changed from teammates to more after max had attempted to anonymously gift her a sari for an event. y/n had looked radiant, max was speechless, and the rest was history for them.
it was during one of the PR events where max had gotten unhinged again and cursed a few times. the managers were furious, but she could tell that he didn't really give a fuck. to save him from future scoldings, y/n had come up with a plan that she really thought could save him.
"max," she called out.
"yes, my love,"
"i'm going to save you from future pr nightmares," she said confidently.
max laughed, "right, okay. how are you going to do that?"
"you're always getting in trouble for saying swear words on live tv. what if you say them in a language people don't understand?" there was a glint in her eyes that told max that she was going to be trouble. but, he loved her for it.
"how are we going to do that?"
"baby, i come from a country where we have a wide range of swear words. we've got different categories too."
max laughed. he did that more around her. he would never let anyone from the outside world see or know that.
"i'm serious! we've got swear words for moms, sisters, animals, body organs, animal body organs. you name it, and we probably have it!" y/n insisted.
"okay, okay, i believe you. teach me some of the words, and i'll see if it works for me,"
y/n clapped her hands in excitement, and began going through her list, explaining their meaning.
max had never been more in love.
a few months later, when the desi f1 fans caught what was happening, they made a compilation video. it consisted of every hindi swear word that max had said in interviews and such, with y/n laughing in the corner, and the interviewer being absolutely clueless on what was being said. the video had compiled all of those moments with the least to worst swear words, purposely not adding the meanings to keep the rest of the world confused.
it was a long time before anyone else, especially the red bull pr managers caught on, and only then did y/n get yelled at for the first time by them.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
this is the first max verstappen imagine I've written! idk if this is what you wanted, anon, but honestly, I couldn't see max saying muhavre and stuff, but I could see him saying a lot of curse words in hindi, so I went with that! also, I love the fact that when I went on Pinterest to look for pictures of max, almost every picture was of him smiling or laughing. i've also got a link for my taglist and requests that you can find here!
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hyperactively-me · 9 months
Text
tension
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You've seen his face countless times, but every time the helmet comes off, it's as though you're seeing him for the first time over and over again. His expression is more than it's normal stoicism; it's vulnerable, raw. His big brown eyes come into contact with yours as you reach up, your fingers gently brushing through his messy curls. Din closes his eyes for a brief moment, savoring the contact. "Hi there, handsome," you murmur softly, allowing your fingers to linger on his strands of hair. "You clean up well, don't you?"
massaging din’s sore, aching muscles ... leads to ... yeah. I'M SORRY (not sorry at all) PUT ME IN HORNY JAIL FOR THIS IDC. it started off so innocent but then the horny monster came out and took over.
tags: smut, OILED UP DIN DJARIN, I REPEAT, OILED UP DIN DJARIN. established relationship
Din has no issue praising and worshipping you with nothing but love and adoration. In fact, it feels like second nature to him.
When he's the object of your praises, though, he doesn't know how to act. He's caught off guard by your doting attention, your quiet praises, your gentle touches.
The gruff exterior that comes so naturally to him becomes a bit more pronounced when faced with compliments and affection.
His usual response was to deflect and downplay, wanting to be the one in control, the one doing the praising rather than receiving it. It's not that he didn't appreciate your words; it's just that the vulnerability of accepting them was difficult for him.
In those moments, you read his body language like the back of your hand. You could see the conflict in his eyes, a mixture of gratitude and discomfort. He had been alone for most of his time in this cruel galaxy, had spent so long being self-reliant, not needing validation from others, that being on the receiving end of such genuine affection challenged his identity of being the stoic, impenetrable Mandalorian.
So, when he finally comes back to the Razor Crest after catching an elusive bounty, you know exactly what to do to put him at ease, to show him how much you love him, your riduur.
You catch his hand before he can take any of his armor off.
"Don't. Let me do it," you say gently, tugging his hand away.
He stares at you with that ever stoic expression you know he has on his face right now beneath the helmet. A few beats pass, and he relents, letting his wrist fall limp in your grip.
"Thank you," you whisper quietly, now running your hands up his shoulders.
You start with his baldric and belt, catching it in your grip as you unfasten the clasps. It's surprisingly heavy in your hands, and you're already a bit weary to take off the beskar.
Next, you slip his worn brown cape off his shoulders, the rough material scraping across your fingers. You can still feel traces of warmth around the part that was settled around his neck and shoulders.
Din stands before you, now with his baldric, belt, and cape out of the way, the beskar armor still encases his form. You take a moment to appreciate the craftsmanship of the beskar, tracing the shiny metal with your fingertips. The material is cool to the touch, a stark contrast to the warmth of his body you can barely feel radiating off his form. Din still stands rigid, hands flexing at his side.
His gaze remains steady, a silent acknowledgment of your request. You take charge again, delicately unfastening the clasps of his shoulder pads and removing the plates, and you can feel just how tense even just his shoulders are.
You set them gently to the side and start to work on his chest plate, easing it away from his torso with careful precision. The beskar plates release with a loud clinking sound, revealing the fabric of his flight suit beneath. You can clearly see Din's chest rise and fall with a steadiness that betrays the controlled exterior he presents to the world. With a small grunt, you ease the heavy beskar chestplate to the side, shooting Din a look when he tries to take it from your grasp.
"You said you would let me do it," you whisper, a playful yet stern glint in your eyes.
He sighs through the voice transmitter, yet allows you to continue your process of taking his armor off.
His shoulders sag forward ever so slightly as the weight of the chest plate is removed from his body, grunting with relief as he rolls his shoulders back a few times.
Next, you move on to his vambraces, unlocking the beskar from his arms. As you work on removing the vambraces, the sleeves of his flight suit ride up and you notice the subtle scars and markings on Din's forearms. You're careful to not drop the one loaded with bullets and other small weaponry.
Your hands move with a practiced gentleness, and you can sense Din's quiet appreciation for the care you're taking.
As the small pieces of armor joins the growing collection of beskar beside you, the room is filled with a sense of intimacy, a shared vulnerability palpable between you two.
Din stands before you now, the upper half of his body free from the encasement of armor. The warmth of his skin is more perceptible, and you can see a slight relaxation in his demeanor.
You move lower now, unfastening the straps securing the beskar that adorns his thighs. Your hands brush against his skin, and that's when he starts to shift side to side. You smile to yourself as you set the pieces to the side, letting your hands drag from the back his knees down to his shins to remove the final pieces.
Beskar greaves protect his shins, and you get on your knees to remove them. You don't miss the way his breath catches in his throat at the sight of you on your knees before him, but he refuses to move a muscle.
Carefully, you unfasten the straps securing the beskar greaves, allowing them to slide down his shins. Your hands move with a deliberate gentleness as you catch them, setting them on top of the stack of armor. Now that all of his armor is removed, you can clearly tell Din is now more relaxed, not as rigid.
His head his angled directly at you, the black t-visor of his helmet piercing through you. You smile softly up at him, pushing yourself to standing but not without him grabbing your hand to help you up.
You know what he's thinking. You know what he wants. He'll just never say it.
You press up onto your toes, placing your hands on his shoulders. His hands finally move, coming to rest on your waist as you lean into where you think his ear would be.
"Later," you whisper seductively, and he firmly squeezes your waist in his grip.
You take a step back, now turning your focus back to his leather gloves. Taking his left hand in yours, you spread his fingers out so you're able to slip his glove off his easier. The leather glove comes off smoothly, revealing his calloused yet gentle hand beneath. You set the glove aside, repeating the action on his other hand.
Din watches you with that unyielding gaze, his helmeted face betraying no emotions, and the tension in the air does anything but subside.
As you remove the second glove, you can't help but admire his hands; how large they, how strong they are. They're the tools of a warrior: skilled and precise, calloused and graceful. With his hands now bare, you step closer to him, your fingers tracing the lineaments of his palm. The warmth of his skin contrasts with the coolness of the beskar that once covered him. His hands are strong, yet there's a gentleness in the way he allows you to explore them.
You finally look up to his helmet, clicking your tongue with disapproval. You couldn't really get his shirt off without stretching out the neck over his helmet, and we can't have that, can we? Poor shirt, all stretched out. Oh well! Looks like we have to see your beautiful riduur's face!
You run your hands on the underside of his helmet, tracing the hard edges with the pads of your fingers. Suddenly, you latch onto the edges and slowly start to pull it up and off his head. Din's breath catches as the helmet is lifted, his nose twitching ever so slightly.
The helmet comes clean off, revealing his face, his dark hair tousled from the snug fit. You're met with his intense gaze, and for a moment, your own breath catches in your throat.
You've seen his face countless times, but every time the helmet comes off, it's as though you're seeing him for the first time over and over again.
His expression is more than it's normal stoicism; it's vulnerable, raw. His big brown eyes come into contact with yours as you reach up, your fingers gently brushing through his messy curls. Din closes his eyes for a brief moment, savoring the contact.
"Hi there, handsome," you murmur softly, allowing your fingers to linger on his strands of hair. "You clean up well, don't you?"
His lips twitch in a hint of a smile, eyebrows quirking at your playful comment.
"Are you going to finish, cyar'ika? Or are you going to finish undressing me with just your eyes?"
You roll your eyes at his remark, fighting back a laugh at his nonchalant comment.
"I guess I do have some unfinished business," you reply, hands tugging at the hem of his shirt.
You guide his shirt up and over his head, pulling it off his form and letting it fall to the floor. You're met with his tanned, toned chest, marked with scars, the silent stories of the battles he's fought.
You run your fingers lightly over the contours of his chest, savoring the feeling of his tight muscles and soft stomach. He shivers under your touch at the way your nails drag across his skin, pressing into it ever so slightly. Din watches you closely, his gaze never leaving your hands. With a soft smile, you lean in, pressing a gentle kiss to his skin between his shoulder and upper chest.
Din's fingers find their way to your hair, but you pull back, now grabbing the waistband of his pants. You tug them down quickly, helping him step out of the pant legs, but leaving him in his loose boxers.
You reach for his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and guide him to the bed. There's no rush, no urgency. For both of you, it's a moment to savor, to appreciate each other in a quiet, peaceful moment. Before he lies down, you pull him down for a chaste kiss, savoring the way his lips taste, the way his patchy mustache tickles your face. As he finally moves to lay down, you wordlessly motion for him to lie on his stomach, and he complies. He settles onto the bed, propping himself up with his forearms.
You retrieve a bottle of oil from a nearby table, and the gentle scent of lavender fills the air as you warm the liquid between your palms. You straddle his lower back, and immediately Din is biting his tongue to withhold any premature sounds.
The moment your hands come into contact with his broad shoulders, he's a goner. Your touch is firm yet tender, your fingers finding all of his knots and tension, coaxing them to release.
The room is quiet, save for the occasional satisfied hum or grunt from Din. As your hands move down his back, tracing the contours of his muscles, you slowly feel the tension in his body dissipating.
Your fingers trace the faint lines of his scars, and you can't help but marvel at the beauty of the man beneath you. He finds solace in your touch, a promise that in this moment, he can let go and just relax.
Din's body responds to your touch, his tension gradually melting away. Your hands move with a soothing rhythm, exploring every inch of his back and shoulders. The oil makes his skin glisten in the soft light of the room, and you revel in the way his body looks as though it was carved by the Maker himself.
As your hands work their way down his spine, you occasionally lean down to press soft kisses on his back. The combination of your mouth and hands on him causes Din to shudder, the sensations pulling him into a deep state of tranquility. The rise and fall of his breath shifts into something more rapid, yet you don't catch on quite yet. You lean down, pressing a soft kiss to the nape of his neck, and he responds with a soft hum of contentment
Shifting off his back, you move down to his thighs and calves, continuing to massage his muscles with the same deliberate care. His fingers twist into the thin sheets of his bed, groaning as you knead into his thighs. The tension in Din's muscles seems to subside even more as you move farther down his legs, the oil dripping from your hands creating a smooth glide as you knead his skin.
As your hands move down his legs towards his feet, you notice the subtle tremor in his muscles, a sign that your touch might be affecting him more than he's letting on. You can't see that he's biting the inside of his cheek, stifling every pathetic groan he wants to let out.
You reach the soles of his feet, and he reflexively curls his toes at the sensation. A small chuckle escapes your lips, and you gently press your thumbs into the arches of his feet, eliciting a low, appreciative groan from him.
With a soft smile, you decide to shift the massage to his upper back and shoulders again, allowing your hands to linger in the areas that are the most tense from his heavy beskar. As your fingers work their magic, you lean in close to whisper in his ear.
"Almost done," you murmur, your warm breath sending shivers down his spine. "Does it feel good?"
Din responds with a throaty, affirmative noise, and you can't help but smile at the effect you're having on your typically stoic Mandalorian.
Your hands trace patterns over his skin, kneading, massaging, and occasionally trailing higher than expected. His breathing becomes more uneven, and you can feel the heat radiating from his body.
The atmosphere in the room drastically changes from innocent and relaxed to something more sultry, the air thick with repressed tension. You can sense Din's arousal, the subtle shifts in his breathing, the way his muscles tense beneath your every little touch. A playful smile crosses your lips, realizing the effect you're having on the usually composed man.
The occasional brush of your fingers against more sensitive areas elicits involuntary reactions from Din, his groans growing more audible.
"Enjoying this, aren't you?" you tease, your voice a sultry whisper as you lean down to place soft kisses along his shoulder blades.
"Teasing me, aren't you?" he growls back, looking back at you with a heated expression.
"Maybe a little." You smile innocently. "But the best things are worth the wait, aren't they?"
Din responds with a low, husky chuckle, a sound that reverberates through the room.
"Yes," he states simply, his voice catching in his throat when you slide off his back.
You beckon him to turn over onto his back, and he complies. Once again, you straddle him, now sitting directly on his hips, over his crotch. Taking more lavender scented oil, you lather it onto your hands and start to knead into his chest. His hands reach up to grip your ass, squeezing your flesh.
You feel Din's chest rise and fall faster as your hands start to work over his toned muscles. The oil slicks up his chest, and your fingers glide smoothly over his skin. You can practically feel his desire for you that simmers beneath the surface, threatening to boil over. Din's gaze is intense, and you meet it with a playful yet innocent smile.
"Fuck, cyare," he groans as his hands trail up your sides, the touch possessive yet gentle.
As your hands continue their ministrations on his chest, you lean down to capture his lips in a searing kiss. The taste of his mouth is intoxicating, and Din responds with a hunger that surpasses your own. His hands tighten on your hips, pulling you to grind you down over his crotch, and you can feel the pressure of his cock against your core.
"Easy there, Din," you murmur as you pull away from his lips. "We've got plenty of time."
The sound of his name rolling off your lips never gets old to him, and he shudders at the sound.
You sit back, your hands now trailing down his abdomen as you move to sit in between his thighs. Grabbing his hands, you knead into his palms with your thumbs, maintaining an eye contact that you know drives him absolutely crazy. Din's eyes are dark with arousal, and he watches you with a hunger that sends shivers down your spine.
Eventually, you finish the massage after you feel the tension fully dissipate from Din's body. He lies there, relaxed and content, basking in the afterglow of your touch.
Without waiting any longer, you finally give the man what he wants. You bring his hand up to your mouth, and without hesitation, you stick two of his fingers in your mouth. Your tongue swirls around his thick digits as you maintain eye contact with him, eliciting a low growl to escape from the depths of Din's throat.
"You- you fuckin' tease, mesh'la," he growls as he starts to sit up. You take your free hand and push him back down, not letting him sit up.
You push his fingers deeper into your mouth, sucking them harder as your tongue runs over the pads of his fingers. Your other hand comes up to his thigh, resting dangerously close to his now fully erect yet still clothed cock.
After a moment, you release his fingers with a wet pop, a mischievous glint in your eyes. Din's breathing has become more ragged, his chest rising and falling rapidly with anticipation and arousal.
"Feeling better?" you ask innocently, sliding your hands up and down his thighs.
Din nods, swallowing thickly as he locks his eyes onto yours. Without breaking eye contact, you start to slide off your shirt, slowly revealing your skin beneath. Din's gaze intensifies as you slowly lift it up and off your form. Once your shirt is fully off, you let Din rove over your form, and you revel in the way he looks at you with a thirst that mirrors your own.
He tries to reach out for you again, but you stop him.
"I'm still not done. Be patient," you say gently, wiggling your eyebrows at him.
"Mesh'la, how can I be? I have to reward you; you've been so good to me, too good for me—"
You press a finger up to his lips, silencing him.
"Please, let me make you feel good. Please. You always take care of me. Let me take care of you. 'M gonna make you feel so good."
He takes a beat, studying your face with his mouth slightly agape.
Finally, he nods in agreement, his eyes on fire. You remove your finger from his lips, giving him a sickeningly sweet smile.
Your hands trail over his shiny, slick chest, down to the waistband of his boxers. Din's fingers twist in his bedsheets, a silent reaction for what he wants: more.
With deliberate intent, you dip your fingers beneath the waistband, teasingly close to his cock. His arousal is quite evident, straining against the fabric, and your fingers brush over his length; a feather light, teasing touch. He watches you with a hunger that's impossible to ignore, and you can't help but feel giddy at the way you make him feel so good, so appreciated, so loved.
Din inhales sharply, his knuckles going white at the grip he has on his sheets. You move your hands back up and delicately hook your fingers into the waistband, pulling it down slowly. The boxers slide down his legs, revealing his cock, and you discard the fabric on the floor.
You take a moment to appreciate your Mandalorian naked in front of you, vulnerable, and yet as powerful as ever in his raw masculinity. What a sight for sore eyes. Every square inch of his skin is coated in the lavender oil, his skin shining under the dim lighting of the Razor Crest. His body is sculpted perfectly, strong and lean, the power of his muscles evident from one look. The scars that span his skin, small and large, have their own story. You reach out, tracing the lines of a particularly prominent scar on the side of his abdomen with gentle fingertips.
Din studies you with a soft intensity, his eyes holding a warmth that he reserves for you, and only for you.
Your eyes trail up to his face, studying every lineament and pore, every little hair and freckle. He's so extremely handsome you could pass out.
How he chose you, you're not sure. All you know is that this man who has promised to be your protector, stay by your side, and be your partner loves you, and you love him.
"You're beautiful," you murmur, pure admiration coursing through your veins as your fingers now trace the curve of his jaw and the contour of his lips. "Absolutely perfect, in every single way. My big, strong, handsome riduur."
Din's mind goes blank, face and ears heating up as his mouth falls agape. He just studies your eyes, your lips, your nose, every little unique feature you have. Swallowing thickly, Din nods his head just a fraction of an inch, but you catch it; he's acknowledging your words, accepting them in his own way.
Your fingers finally find their way down the shaft of his cock, shifting your attention to his member. His breath hitches as your hand wraps around the base, and you begin to move in a slow, teasing rhythm. His eyes flicker to the sight of your hand wrapped around his cock, staring at the way you pump your fist up and down. Your thumb brushes over the sensitive tip, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from Din.
You lean in, pressing a tender kiss to the base of his neck, then to his chest. You start to kiss down further, from the top of his chest to his happy trail.
"Kriff..." he mutters, his hands loosely grabbing at your face.
You keep moving, now pressing kisses on the length of his member. His grip becomes sloppier as your lips trail down his cock towards the tip, pressing a feather light kiss on his leaking slit. He grunts as the sensation, sensitive and aching for your pretty lips to be wrapped around his cock. You give a swirl of your tongue around the tip, earning a sharp, deep moan from Din.
"Kriffing- perfect," he groans, his hips bucking a few times at your touch, begging you for more. His fingers weave through your hair, a silent encouragement.
With that, you finally lower your mouth over his cock, eliciting a long, drawn out moan from the man. You rest your hands on the base of his cock, pumping the bottom half of his length while your mouth takes the top half. Din absolutely revels in the way your mouth feels against his cock; hot, wet, and velvety soft. His head rolls back against his pillow as your hands squeeze tight around the base, stimulating every inch of his length. You take him in your mouth inch by inch, sucking his cock gently at first, but providing more pressure the farther down you go.
"Fuck— fuck- ing perfect, pretty girl," he groans breathlessly, making you hum in satisfaction. His hips involuntarily buck up as he feels the vibrations from your hum, causing the tip of his cock to poke the back of your throat. You choke on it, but you steady your breath enough to keep going down.
Din fights the urge to fuck your mouth, gripping onto his sheets tightly with one hand as his other hand tugs at your hair. You release a quiet moan of your own when he pulls your hair, encouraging you to take him deeper.
Din's eyes are half-lidded now, a primal need burning within them. He watches you with an intensity that makes your own desire flare. His sounds of pleasure, the way his hands feel on you has yourself throbbing with need, your core painfully clenching around nothing. Your panties are surely soaked through by now, your arousal having built up just by making him feel good. You press your thighs together, alleviating the throbbing pressure in your pussy.
You continue to move with purpose, lowering your hands to knead his oily thighs as you take his entire length in your mouth, the tip of cock hitting the back of your throat with each bob of your head. You suck your cheeks in, running your tongue along a prominent vein with each stroke.
His ragged breaths and the soft squelch of your saliva and mouth on his cock fill the room, and suddenly, Din is pawing at you. The need for more becomes undeniable, and Din, unable to restrain himself any longer, pulls you up with a sense of urgency.
"Wanna- come in you—" he gasps, pulling at your neck.
You press your thighs tighter together at his admission, moaning on his cock.
"Kriff, cyar'ika, j- just, please," he grunts, and you lift your head off his cock, saliva dripping down your chin.
When you finally look up at him, his eyes are blown wide with need, and he's fully sitting up now. You feel the sudden shift as he drags you onto his lap, his still erect cock pressing into your stomach. You push up onto your knees as Din's hand desperately claws at the hem of your pants, yanking both your pants and panties off at the same time as he mouths the tops of your still covered breasts. Once your bottoms are off, he unclasps your bra expertly, letting it fall to the side.
Once you're bare in front of him, he laps his tongue over your breast, sucking at your nipple as his other hand squeezes and massages your other. The sensation send an electric jolt through your body, and a soft moan escapes your lips. Din's touch is both possessive and tender, his free hand coming to knead the flesh of your ass.
In one solid motion, Din is lifting you up high by your hips, positioning you over his cock. Utterly desperate and aching for your cunt around his cock, he slams your hips down, splitting you open on his cock inside your dripping cunt. Your hands fly up to his shoulders, a warbled scream and moan slipping from the both of you as he plunges deep inside of you, filling you up perfectly. You give yourself a moment to breath, steadying your breath. When he rolls his hips once, you whimper.
"Maker, y- you feel so good," you moan, biting your bottom lip in pleasure.
You squeeze his cock tightly, back arching as you feel every ridge of his cock inside you. His hands squeeze your hips tightly as your hands run down to his chest, and you start placing open mouthed, messy kisses on his jawline and neck. He lets you adjust around him, giving you some time to feel his cock molded perfectly inside you.
"Take me so good...s- so kriffing p- perfect, my beautiful riduur," he growls, fondling your breasts as you sit on his cock. Your thighs press against his as you try to clench your thighs at his words, darting your tongue out to give his skin kitten licks.
Ever so slowly, you start to roll your hips against his, moaning at the sensation. Din hisses, forehead falling on your sternum, his hot breath fanning against your breasts.
"Riduur," he groans again, darting his tongue out over the tops of your breasts again. "Ride me."
Your hands find their way into his dark curls, tugging at them lightly as you start to lift yourself up his cock. The drag of your pussy against Din's cock makes him shudder in pure ecstasy, moving his head to rest in the crook of your neck.
"You- you're the best thing that's e- ever happened to me," you whisper in his ear, then you sink all the way back down on his cock.
He moans, sucking bruises onto the junction between your shoulder and neck. Din's face is flushed from your words and the way you feel on top of him. You lift yourself up a few inches and drop back down, relishing in the way he feels underneath you.
"Never thought I'd find s- someone like you, cyare," he admits in his gravelly voice, tightening his grip on you. "Someone I- I could c- come back to."
"You're m- my home, Din," you reply, your voice a breathy whisper.
You start to set a steady pace, rocking and grinding on his cock. Din grunts at the sudden change in pace, helping you up and off his cock as his broad hands help lift you up and down by your hips. With each bounce, his cock stretches you out deliciously, dragging along your slick walls with ease.
You move your hand down to your catch your clit, circling the bud slowly, building up the pressure bubbling in your core. Your back arches as you start to tease yourself, pussy clenching harder around his cock. Din's head is thrown back in pleasure, hands firmly on your hips as you keep bouncing, reveling in the way you squeeze slightly tighter around him.
Your walls start to flutter around him at the stimulation of your clit, picking up the pace as you chase your orgasm. You lock eyes with his, the rhythm of your hips against his causing him to paw at every square inch of your body.
With your free hand, you guide his strong jaw towards your face, capturing his lips in a searing, passionate kiss. You don't stop moving on top of his cock as you slip your tongue into his mouth, sucking and nibbling on his bottom lip with each kiss. His lips are warm and demanding against yours, responding with a fervor that has you leaning back.
The taste of Din is intoxicating, yet something you can never quite put your finger on. His low growls mix with your soft moans, your hands threading in his curls.
Din breaks the kiss, but rests his forehead on yours. His pants mingle with yours, warm breath tickling your nose.
"Can't believe I'm so lucky," Din grits, and without hesitation, he deftly maneuvers you until you're lying on your back.
You admire the way his chest heaves with a controlled intensity as he hovers over you, his cock still fully sheathed inside you to the hilt. Moving his hands, he presses your legs up against your chest, angling them in such a way to allow for a deeper penetration. The newfound angle sends waves of pleasure coursing through each of you, each movement building up the pressure in your lower muscles.
"Maker, Din," is all you can say as his cock reaches deeper inside you. You're utterly engrossed in everything about him; how perfectly he fucks you, how he protects you, how he always puts others before himself, how he never backs down from a challenge.
You watch as his mouth drops open when he starts to move again, pounding into you with a slow, measured pace. Every motion has your hot, soaking walls sucking him in greedily.
"Fuck me so perfectly, you're perfect," you murmur as Din pulls your legs up onto his hips, effectively spreading you wide open. His whole chest presses flush against yours, kissing your words away when he leans in.
Your hands fly down to grip his forearms that cage you under his body, nails pressing into his skin as he fucks you slowly. Each thrust is met with a soft whimper into Din's mouth as he takes his time, relishing the way your chest feels against his own. The measured pace of his movements builds a heavy tension in your core, drawing out the pleasure and anticipation with each deliberate stroke.
Din's hand finds your clit again, pressing his thick digits against your swollen bud. The added pressure sends electric pulses through your body, and your back arches involuntarily as the pleasure intensifies. Your pussy clenches around his cock, drawing a throaty groan from Din, who revels in the tight embrace of your walls.
"So strong, s- so good," you gasp, your words punctuated by your unrestrained sounds of pleasure.
"S' perfect, cyare," he murmurs against your lips breathlessly, pressing a kiss on your lips once again. He nips and bites at your bottom lip relentlessly. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his face closer to you as you mewl into his mouth. Your fingers find their way back into his soft hair, scratching your fingernails on the base of his scalp.
With each enthusiastic response from you, he quickens his pace, the unforgiving rhythm pushing you both closer to the edge.
The feeling of his cock moving inside you faster and harder elicits a cascade of moans and whimpers from your lips, your clit being stimulated nearly to the point of your impending release. He's fucking you hard into the mattress, unrelenting in the way he wants to feel every part of you.
Din, ever the attentive man, knows you're about to cum just from the way your face contorts, from the way your body reacts to the slightest touch.
You can also feel him nearing the edge, the tension in his body reaching its peak with each stroke. His skin is warm and still slick with the lavender-scented oil, intoxicating your senses and making your mind go blank.
"Please, come in me," you beg, wrapping your legs around Din's waist to pull him closer to you. "Please, please, Din."
His skin glides against yours, your hands travel across the expanse of his back, feeling the flex of his muscles as he moves with unrestrained strength.
Din's eyebrows are pinched in pleasure, mouth parted open as he pants. His fingers find the sweet spot of your clit, causing you to nearly scream in pleasure.
"That's it," Din encourages, coaxing your orgasm out of you as he maintains the pressure around your sweet spot.
Before you know it, you're cumming around Din's cock. The first contraction of your cunt around his cock has Din shuddering from his own orgasm, the feelings of your muscles spasming around him pushing him over the edge. His breathing is erratic, hot against your skin.
You writhe underneath Din, whimpering his name as you ride out your orgasm. Din pulls you in for a messy kiss as he cums inside of you, cupping your jaw with one hand as he guides your lips to his in a searing kiss.
Settling down from his orgasm, Din falls on top of you, burying his face in the crook of your neck.
Your hands run up and down his back, soothing him with the light scratching of your nails against his skin.
The gentle scratching of your nails against Din's back seems to lull him into a state of relaxation, his body going lax on top of yours. His breath and mustache tickles the sensitive flesh of your neck.
Both of you are still panting, trying to catch your breaths from your shared climax. Din's weight atop of you feels grounding, a comforting, welcoming presence that reminds you once again that he is yours.
"Feel better?" you inquire softly, your hands coming to rest around his neck.
Din lifts his head, his eyes meeting yours with a tenderness he reserves only for you.
Din mumbles in agreement, his body completely pliant in your hands. His chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm, the remnants of his panting gradually subsiding.
"Thank you," he murmurs, eyes studying your face intently. "Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum."
Your fingers move from his neck to gently trace lines over Din's flushed cheeks, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
"I love you."
Din's eyes soften even more. His hands, calloused and strong, come up to gently cradle your face. Thumbs brush over your cheeks in a tender caress, as if he's committing the feeling to memory.
He pulls you in for another kiss, a sweet, tender meeting of your lips in the aftermath of your care for him.
A thank you, if you will.
As Din's lips part from yours, he rests his forehead against yours, and you can feel the warmth of his breath mingling with yours.
You snuggle close to him, the scent of lavender surrounding you both. In the quiet aftermath, the only sound that remains is the beating of your hearts.
. . .
Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) Masterlist
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bluecollarmcandtf · 9 months
Text
My Son Came Home just the Other Day...
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...and I just had to tell him how proud I was! My boy had become a strong young man! I'd been bragging to everyone I knew that my son, Private Joel Bishop, had made it through basic training and was on the way home to see his good old dad! I never knew being a father would bring me such joy, but here I am.
I slapped Joel on the back approvingly and discreetly wiped my eye. Things were getting too 'touchy-feely' for my taste, and we still had a whole night of celebration ahead of us.
"That means a lot, dad," he grinned as I pulled away, "but you deserve the credit. Should I grab some cold ones so we can catch up?"
I smiled, enjoying the humility and respect I had instilled in my son's character. He more than deserved the reward I had planned: dinner an expensive steakhouse and a box of premium cigars. I threw a hand on his shoulder and opened my mouth to reveal the surprise!
Instead, the words, "Son I need to introduce you to our new neighbor," came out of my mouth: definitely not what I intended.
That seemed strange. I surely hadn't meant to say that; however, when I thought about it, I did seem to remember something the neighbor had mentioned yesterday. Maybe I had promised to introduce my son to him. It must have been a good idea, if I was suggesting it. I would have to hurry though because our reservation was soon, and I couldn't wait to see the look on Joel's face when he found out what I had planned!
"Uh, sure," Joel answered, waiting for an explanation, "Who is it?"
"He's a great man!" I instantly shouted, feeling overwhelmingly defensive about the newcomer. I wasn't sure why I felt that way because I could barely even remember the guy.
Joel flinched at my sudden outburst, but I brushed it off and led him out the back door. My son followed me through the gate and into the backyard of our next door neighbor. Somehow, I knew I was only supposed to enter from the back door. My hand dug into a nearby planting pot and found a spare key. I'm not exactly sure how I knew that was there, but I shrugged it off and unlocked the door.
Joel didn't question me, but he seemed mildly annoyed. I'm glad he didn't ask what I was doing because I had no clue! My body marched on autopilot down a short hallway and parked in the middle of a living room. Our neighbor seemed to be busy napping on his couch. My cheeks flushed when I realized I had just walked in on the man sleeping.
"Excuse me sir," my voice suddenly rang out loudly, "My son Joel is back from the army."
Joel glared at me in confusion, "Dad what-"
"Shut it, kid," the man on the couch snapped awake and stretched, "Come stand quietly in front of me so I can get a good look at you."
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Joel's mouth shut tight at the man's request. He marched up to our neighbor and stood at attention. There was something strangely automatic about his movements, like they were choreographed ahead of time. I suppose this is just how they learn to act in the army.
"Hmm, yes," the neighbor purred from the couch, "You're sexier than your dad described."
My jaw clenched and my fists tightened! Why the hell was this guy making those kinds of comments about my son! I had never spoken with this weirdo, and I had certainly never described my son in that way!
If this guy wasn't careful, he was going to get a fight! I would of course stand and wait like a dumb bitch until I was dismissed, but once I was, I'd let him know! For now, I'll just try and contain myself.
"Why so red-faced," he turned a haughty look to me, "You remember our conversation yesterday, right Mr. Bitch?"
Suddenly, my memory flooded back. Of course I remembered! I'd popped by our new neighbor's house to introduce myself. He had invited me in and we'd gotten talking. I had bragged about how my parenting had yielded the perfect son. Our neighbor had then launched into a long and boring lecture.
My neighbor pointed out that I'd been pronouncing my surname wrong all these years! I'm a total idiot! It's 'Bitch' not 'Bishop!' He'd also changed my plans on how to celebrate my son's homecoming.
"Of, course I remember," I gasped dumbly as it all flooded back, "Sorry, sir. As you know, I can be a bit of a dumb bitch."
"Everyone knows that, old man. Do you even remember what you have to do whenever you enter my house?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, sir," I replied as the instructions came back to me, "I am to go to the bathroom, stick my head in the toilet, and flush it seven times."
"That's it! And don't forget to keep your mouth open when it flushes, you old fart" he cracked up and laughed at me.
I nodded and left my son with our new neighbor, reporting to the bathroom like I was supposed to. Sticking my face in his skid marked toilet was the worst part about coming over. How could I have forgotten something like that? Without hesitating, I dropped to the floor and dipped below the toilet water, keeping my jaw locked open like he had suggested. I blindly found the handle and flushed the first wave over my head.
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"All done, sir!" I called loudly, feeling compelled to announce my achievement.
Everything above my neck has been thoroughly soaked by the swirly, and it was quickly dripping down my clothes. My favorite shirt was now drenched! I wanted badly to dry off with the towel nearby, but I somehow knew that I was supposed to leave the toilet water on me instead.
Trudging back into the living room, I tried to prevent puddles by soaking the dripping water into my clothes, but it didn't work very well.
"Joel? What are you doing, son?" I blurted when I found him on his hands and knees.
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Joel gazed up at me with a bizarre look on his face. It was as if he didn't even understand what he was doing down on the floor. His eyes seemed unfocused, like they weren't really seeing what was going on around him.
Nevertheless, he glanced over his shoulder at our new neighbor. It was like he was looking for guidance. My eyes followed his and we both found ourselves looking to the stranger for what to do next.
"Go on, boy," our neighbor chided, "Tell Mr. Bitch how you feel."
"Please," I straightened up, "Just call me Bitch. We're all friends here." I didn't care if a puddle was pooling at my feet. My son clearly had something important to say to me.
"Ok, Daddy," Joel blankly answered the guy on the couch. Then he turned an empty gaze to me, "Bitch, I'm moving out of your house. I want to live with our new neighbor. I want to be his slave boy and serve him any way I can."
I felt compelled to agree. I almost told him I was happy for him, but something felt off. Something had been gnawing at the back of my head ever since my son had gotten home. This wasn't how our night was supposed to go. My son and I were supposed to be enjoying steaks and cigars right now!
I shook my head a little. Beads of water flew from my hair, and I couldn't shake how wrong I had been acting. Why had I just given myself a swirly? And why was my son making such delusional statements?
"Woah, there big guy," our creepy next door neighbor hushed, "You're thinking too hard. You remember what you like to do when you think too hard right, Bitch?"
I breathed a sigh of relief out of my chest my chest when I remembered, "Yes, sir. I like to shove your leftovers down my pants when I'm thinking to hard."
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Without another thought, I strolled into the kitchen and yanked the fridge open with a numb arm. A euphoric sense of relaxation washed over me when I saw a container of leftover spaghetti. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands had popped the lid off and fished the noodles and red sauce down the inside of my dress slacks. Once the container was empty, I zipped up my pants like nothing had happened and returned to the living room.
"Feeling better, Bitch?" my neighbor asked.
My glassy eyes noticed my son crouched by the feet of our neighbor. Joel was busy cleaning the guy's shoes, and I couldn't be more happy. So what if this is what he wanted to do with his life? He could become our neighbor's sex slave for all I cared. It's not like I cared about the kid. If he really had a chance to serve a man as great as our neighbor, then who cares about serving our country!
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"Yeaah..." I moaned lightly.
"You like my homemade spaghetti?" the neighbor chuckled meanly.
"Yeeaaah..." my voice came out drawn, "It feels really cold..."
"Man, you are a gross bitch, but I programmed you to fall deeper every time you humiliate yourself for me. Do you what I'm going to have you do next?"
"Nooo..."
"You're going to make your reservation at that restaurant," he looked me up and down, "And you'll go in those clothes you've soiled. Get drunk off your ass, alright Bitch? I want you to make a complete fool out of yourself."
I'd already turned to follow his orders when he turned back to my son, "I'm gonna play with little soldier boy here. Maybe I'll pass him around to my buddies so they can give him a try..."
I didn't hear what else was in store for Joel. I wasn't too bothered by my son. I'm sure he'd be able to make our neighbor happy. I was just excited to go to the steak house and start humiliating myself...
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tsumuus · 2 months
Text
Katsuki Bakugou had always been terrible with words. They always seemed to explode out of his mouth, harsh and unrefined, never quite capturing the depth of what he felt inside. So, when he realized in first year that his feelings for you were more than just friendship, he couldn't bring himself to say it.
He tried to show you in other ways- the lingering touches, the way he would always look out for you during training, and the way he would make sure you always had an extra water bottle. But those actions never seemed to be enough, not to you, and certainly not to him.
Now, as he stood at the altar, the best man at the wedding of his best friend and the woman he loved, his heart ached with a pain that felt like an old, familiar friend.
You looked stunning in your wedding dress, your smile bright and genuine as you gazed at Eijiro Kirishima, the groom. Kirishima, with his broad grin and eyes full of love, was everything Bakugou couldn't be- open, warm, and kind. He was happy for you, truly, but the bitterness of unspoken words and missed chances lingered.
Bakugou stood stiffly, hands clenched at his sides as he watched the ceremony unfold. Every vow exchanged felt like a blow, each promise a reminder of what he couldn't give you. His eyes never left your face, memorizing every detail, every emotion that flickered across your features.
Kirishima and you exchanged rings, and Bakugou felt a sharp pang in his chest. He forced himself to keep his expression neutral, swallowing the lump in his throat. He should be happy for you both- his best friends, the two people who meant the world to him.
As the officiant pronounced you husband and wife, the crowd erupted into applause. Bakugou managed a tight smile, clapping along, though his heart felt heavy. Kirishima pulled you into a passionate kiss, and Bakugou looked away, unable to bear the sight.
The reception was a blur of congratulations and laughter. Bakugou moved through the crowd, his facade firmly in place. He caught glimpses of you and Kirishima, the two of you glowing with happiness, and he forced himself to stay composed.
When it was time for his speech, Bakugou took a deep breath and stepped forward. He had written and rewritten his words countless times, trying to find the right balance between sincerity and restraint.
"Congratulations, you idiots," he began, earning a laugh from the guests. "I've known you both since we were kids. Kirishima, you've always been the best friend anyone could ask for. And you," he paused, looking directly at you, "you've always been amazing."
He cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice. "I'm glad you found each other. I know you'll make each other happy. So, here's to a lifetime of love and happiness."
The applause was thunderous, and Bakugou quickly returned to his seat, his emotions swirling. He watched as you and Kirishima shared a dance, the love between you evident in every movement.
As the night wore on, Bakugou found himself standing alone on the balcony, the cool night air a welcome relief. He stared out into the darkness, his mind filled with memories and what-ifs.
He had always been terrible with words, but in that moment, he wished he had found the courage to speak up, to tell you how he truly felt. But now, it was too late. You were married, starting a new life with Kirishima, and all Bakugou could do was wish you well from the sidelines.
He took a deep breath and turned back to the celebration, determined to be the friend you needed, even if it meant hiding his own feelings. Because despite everything, he loved you too much to let his own pain overshadow your happiness.
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masterlist
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aayakashii · 3 months
Note
could you feed us lyca simps?
I hope you don't mind the little slice of life fluff I ended up writing for this request, I just think he's too cute for his own good (๑•́ ᎔ ก̀๑) and thanks for the request!!
neapolitan
Warnings: none. Just tooth rotting fluff and slice of life. Lyca knowing nothing about the world, while MC holds his hand to introduce him to the fun things of life.
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“You know you don't have to follow me right now, right? I'm just going to the store to restock my first aid kit…” you say, sighing in defeat, as you side-eye the tall boy prancing right beside you, almost attached to your hip.
Lyca puffs his chest, a small pout appearing under his sharp fangs.
“No, I have to! I don't trust that shop man. He is weird… He looks at you weird!”
Well… You couldn't quite deny that fact.
“But don't you have homework from Professor Moby?”
“Who is that again? You know I don't remember their names” Lyca asks, scrunching his brows and scratching his head, as if he was searching his brain for the right face to attach to the name.
“Professor squirmy” you suppress a smile as you use Lyca's nickname for the eldritch teacher.
“Oh! I have already done all my homework from his class, though?”
“Really?” you look at him with widened eyes “That's very responsible of you, Lyca. That's great!” you smile, giving him two thumbs up.
You do wonder how he managed to finish it all so quickly, since he had difficulty reading harder kanjis, but you just chalk it up to Subaru helping him out without your knowledge.
He huffs, cheeks just a little bit rosy.
“Of course! That's nothing for someone like me. I'm gonna be an exemp… exemp… eggs-emm-puh-larry… member of human society!” Lyca says, slapping his own chest with a loud thud.
“An exemplary member of human society, right?” you repeat his words, more fluently than him, so he can hear how it's usually pronounced.
“That's what I said.” he mumbles and pushes the door to Darkwick's local store open, pointing to the inside of the dimly lit shop “You first.”
You widen your eyes once again, and chuckle.
“Wait, when did you learn to be so gentlemanly?” you say, as you walk through the door with him right after you.
“The blonde gigolo has been teaching me some things. He says being a gen-tle-man would make people respect me more.”
You nod at his words right as the door closes loudly behind him, the chime bell slamming against the door frame.
Okay, well. Maybe he still needs a bit of practice.
You wince at the loud sound, but after just a few seconds, you immediately relax, feeling the cool air inside the store hit your body. The fragrant scent of pastries being displayed inside a small shelf and the gentleness of the low lights also lull you into a sense of tranquility.
It seems like the effect is the same on Lyca, because you see the way his shoulders slump a little bit and how his grumpy face gives way to an eased expression.
You decide to browse through the shelves for a bit, absentmindedly, before getting your supplies. Lyca stood close, his nose sniffing every little thing you pointed out.
After a lot of explaining about products (No, Lyca, you cannot eat tide pods, those are for washing clothes. Yes, Lyca, you can actually eat hard candy, they aren't made for biting though. No, Lyca, just because tide pods and hard candy look similar, doesn't mean they're the same thing), you grab all your needed supplies and make your way to the cashier.
Thinking hard about how to keep Lyca from growling at the shopkeeper, you barely notice how the werewolf walks towards a small freezer a few steps to the side of the cash register. You finish paying when you hear his voice calling at you.
“Hey! Hey! What's this?” he points to the inside of the freezer and you walk to his side, his hands instinctively grabbing your bags so he could carry them for you.
“Those are ice cream pots.” you look at the multi colored labels that advertised a small range of different flavors. “Have you ever eaten ice cream, Lyca?”
“What's that?” he looks inquisitively at the small containers.
“It's a type of frozen sweet. It has lots of flavors and it's usually eaten when it's hot outside.”
He hums, still staring at the pots.
“Do you like sweets, Lyca?”
“Hmm, not really…”
“Oh, I see...”
“But! It's, um. It's hot outside, right?” he replies quickly, looking at you expectantly.
You smile to yourself, thinking about how his tail would probably be wagging if it was out right now.
“That's true, it's very hot outside. I think ice cream sounds great right now, what do you think?”
“I- I agree! Of course.” he huffs, as if he wasn't almost hopping with joy at the idea.
You chuckle and open the freezer, grabbing a small pot for the both of you. After paying for the frozen treat and grabbing two spoons, you two go out into the merciless heat of Darkwick's campus.
“Okay, so.” you sit under a huge tree overlooking a lake, hiding from the sun rays under the cool shade, and grab the ice cream pot.
Lyca sits right next to you, back straight as a plank, paying full attention to you and the mysterious treat you bought.
“I bought this one because it has three of the most classic flavors, and since you never ate ice cream, I figured you should taste the most common ones first. It's called neapolitan.” you explain, opening the lid and giving him a spoon “It's vanilla, strawberry and chocolate”
His eyes sparkle, looking at the frozen sweet. Your eyes widen as you see his wolf ears and tail pop out instinctively, but you choose not to mention it.
“Oohh! It looks good! Which one should I try first?” he asks, tail sweeping the grass under him.
“You can try whichever you want. Go crazy!”
You immediately regret your words as he shoves his spoon deep into the ice cream, grabbing more than one flavor, and eating a huge spoonful in one go.
“Ugh!! My head!!” he yells after a little while, clawing at his own forehead.
“Lyca! You can't eat cold things so quickly, you'll get brain freeze” you scold him, rolling your eyes.
“Well, tell me that sooner!” he groans, still holding his head, eyes shut tight.
“You're supposed to know that instinctively!”
He grunts, shaking his head as the sharp pain disappears slowly.
“Grab just one flavor at a time for now, so you can see which one you like more. Then you can mix everything. Like this” you say as you scoop a bit of strawberry ice cream into your spoon and eat it.
He mimics your action, scooping a bit of vanilla ice cream first.
Lyca's face falls as he smacks his lips repeatedly, tasting the ice cream.
“It's not that big of a deal.” he says, visibly disappointed.
“That's okay, now try the pink one.”
He does as you say and immediately scrunches his face.
“Uwah! That's awful! I don't want to eat it!”
You sigh, thinking about how Lyca seems more like a werecat than a werewolf at times.
“That's fine, it's just your personal taste. Now try the brown one. It's chocolate.”
Lyca hesitates, not really trusting your words after the previous experiences, but scoops a bit of chocolate ice cream either way. As soon as he eats the treat, his ears and tail perk up.
“Ohhh!!! This one is good!!” He yells, tail wagging a thousand miles per hour and eyes sparkling as he scoops a huge amount of chocolate ice cream again.
“Careful, or you're gonna get brain freeze again!” You scold him, but immediately give up, sighing and smiling at the sight of him happily smearing chocolate onto his face, like a big baby.
“I like the brown one mixed with the white-ish yellow-ish one! The pink one is gross though!” He says grabbing the ice cream with his hands, spoon immediately forgotten.
“Ah, Lyca! You're not supposed to eat it with your hands! You'll get all dirty…” you fret, afraid he'll get his uniform stained once again.
“But it's better this way, because I can feel how cold it is with my hands. You humans are so weird with all your rules…” he grumbles.
You sigh, as he pouts and licks his hands clean, grumpiness fully back.
“You have to learn these rules to become human though? But…” you trail off and he looks at you as you rummage through your pockets, fishing out a handkerchief.
You hold his cheek, wiping his face clean, ignoring the little blush that tinted his face as you got closer.
“But as long as it's just us, you can eat however you want. Just don't do it in public. And don't tell Rui I said this! He thinks I spoil you way too much. Deal?”
Lyca looks away, clearing his throat that suddenly got parched, despite all the ice cream he had just eaten.
“Hmpft. D-deal.”
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eff4freddie · 6 months
Text
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Touch | Part One
What you can offer Jackson is your healing hands.
2.6k words
Series Masterlist | Part Two Warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, we stan one (1) apocalypse grump, no use of y/n, I haven't written fanfic in a while but I'm hoping this will get me back into writing regularly, I have no idea how many parts this will be
Minors DNI
If you were to try and tally up all your losses you wouldn’t, initially, struggle. Your beloved dad, on outbreak day, and then months later your sister to a pack of raiders capable of slipping silently past a rotting barn wall. Those were clearly devastating, actual moments that bifurcate the before times and the after. Your liberty in the QZ, your hope for a sane and assured new government, your smuggling partner trapped under the barbed wire fence as a FEDRA soldier narrowed in on you both, her struggling hands going limp in the dirt, her eyes no longer following your movements as you scrabbed to free her, the look of resignation on her face, the way she mouthed for you to ‘go’. Those losses somehow both enormous and incalculable.
It was the smaller losses that caught you up. Newsprint smeared on your fingertips. Breaking in a new pair of stiff leather shoes. The uneven leg of your massage table, which caused it to wobble when someone clambered onto it, meaning that you had to warn your clients ahead of time while it wobbled, it was stable, and that you could relate. You knew it was a bad look, that the table alone didn’t inspire confidence in your clientele, and you missed it more than you had any fucking right to when the world, for all intents and purposes, imploded.
You made do in Jackson. Your travelling party of three had heard of a mythical commune of warm sheep and cold beer and you wanted, more than anything, to believe in it.  In the before times your mother had sung a song about Jackson with your father, peeling potatoes at the sink, and you had hummed it under your breath the three-and-a-half-month trek. ‘Honey, I’m going to Jackson.’ ‘See if I care.’
As you approached the gates the three of you had already come up with a plan to pitch for entry. Ray was going to pretend he was injured, and Marla was going to carry him, limping but stoic, over the threshold. The night he refused to take first watch you had promised to break his ankle for real to make it really convincing, and he had laughed because he knew you didn’t have it in you, and you had joined in, because it was true. Marla was toying with the idea of being pregnant, and you were going to just be mute. Either by birth or by trauma, you hadn’t decided. But the plan was to be as pitiful as possible, as non-threatening and as desperate, such that not only would you not be shot on sight but that you would be taken in, warmed to, eventually forgiven your trespass. On the side of a mountain, with everything you had ever owned strapped to your back and the losses tallying behind you, it had seemed like the best strategy.
It had failed almost immediately. Marla may have been able to pull off the pregnancy thing if it was early, but Ray kept forgetting which ankle he had supposedly hurt, and when you tripped on a rock coming through the gate you swore at the top of your lungs. It turned out it didn’t matter. Throughout quarantine you had been able to meet Maria, then Tommy, and you had been advised that you were to pitch your worthiness to stay at the next town council. You had two days to determine what you could offer Jackson. You had looked down at your two hands.
__
Marla was a good shot, and was put on patrol. Ray spoke French and was good with codes, and he pitched helping out with reconnaissance. He even pronounced it the proper French way at the council meeting, and you saw Tommy arch a jet-black brow in Maria’s direction, who rolled her eyes. Standing on shaky knees before a panel of non-infected non-raiders who nevertheless held your life in their hands, you showed them your palms.
‘Pain relief,’ you said, and you smiled in what you hoped was a warm way. ‘I can heal, with these.’
‘You trying to tell us you’re some kind of witch doctor?’ the man on the end asked, and you wondered what it would be like to lean over and pluck each hair out of his nostrils, until his eyes were streaming.
‘No,’ you said, and you felt your cheeks redden. ‘Massage, mostly remedial but also deep tissue. I can help with bad backs, with sore legs and arms, bad necks. All that patrolling, all that watching the horizon, must be murder on the body.’ You scanned their faces, Nostril Man not convinced but Maria smiling warmly at you. You swallowed, trying to wet your throat to prevent it from just outright closing over. ‘Surely you want your men and women, the people out there protecting Jackson, to be strong?’
__
The house you were allocated was four over from Marla, and Ray was placed three streets back towards the gate. You had idly wondered if you had been split up to try and avoid trouble, but actually you enjoyed the solitude for the first time since the apocalypse. Having had to travel in packs, having been crammed in four or six to a one-bedroom apartment in the QZ, having listened to Ray retell his story of crossing the Canadian border every might for at least a year and a half, you relished the way that you could once again hear the ringing in your ears. When you rolled your shoulders, you heard the spinal fluid pool and bubble at the base of your skull.
The benefit of having the place to yourself was that the second bedroom easily converted to your treatment room. Tommy and a couple of the other men from town had brought in a spare dining table, and you found that with enough blankets and towels piled on top of it you could make a decently comfortable surface to lie on. Ray had offered to cut a hole in the middle like a real massage table, but you had seen him try to chop wood one night with a blunt axe, a night when you thought without a fire you would freeze to death, but it would still be better than listening to him whine about having nearly chopped off his toes for the rest of time. Instead, you created a ring of towels just back from the edge, a position that meant people could still breathe as they lay face down, and you practiced how you would apologise to them for the inconvenience of it, what joke you could make to try and win back their confidence, marvelled at the fact that even at the end of the world you were still trying to cover for your inadequacies.  
Maria was your first client, and as soon as you were convinced you could accommodate her growing stomach comfortably as she lay on her side, you welcomed her in.
‘It’s just my hips, my lower back,’ she said, as you poured shampoo on your hands to stand in for massage oil.
‘This might be cold, I’m sorry,’ you said, not adding that it could also be sudsy, and wilted a little inside as Maria flinched when you touched her. ‘I’m sorry,’ you said again, as she exhaled.
‘Can you feel where it is?’ she asked, and you hummed.
‘The pain?’
‘You said you could heal.’ You smiled, pressing down on a knot hitched to Maria’s hip flexor. She sighed, and you watched as the tension disappeared from her shoulders, her body slumping forward slightly such that you had to grab her knee and roll her back.
‘You tell me,’ you said, and she huffed at you.
‘Those men, the council, you have no idea how little they would understand why we needed you,’ she said.
‘Wait ‘til I’ve finished putting my elbow in your butt cheek, then tell me that again,’ you said.
‘Wait, what?’ Maria startled, but you were already on her, promising that the pain would fade as the tension released, ignoring the stream of obscenities, having heard far worse in your time. The before times.
__
Maria spread the word and soon you were busy, with a regular list of clients that heavily favoured the women of Jackson until they were able to convince the men that they, too, had musculoskeletal systems. Maria was a regular right up until she got too big to haul herself onto the table, and then she would just sit in your kitchen and make you tea, explaining the history of the place until you started to feel properly at home there.
One afternoon she sat with her head resting in her hand, as you held her foot in your lap, gently massaging over her sock.
‘You don’t come out much,’ she said. ‘I see you in the mess hall for breakfast, then you’re gone.’
‘I have clients early these days, sometimes a full patrol before they go out.’
‘What about the off days? The days that we don’t patrol?’
‘Washing. I go through a lot of towels.’
‘You need help with those?’
‘No, I like doing it. Warm water is such a dream, I still can’t believe it when I fill up the bucket.’
‘After work I never see you at the bison.’
You pinched her toe a little hard and she hissed, and you felt the heat on your cheeks.
‘I am grateful for my place here,’ you said, and you looked up into her eyes then, your hands still but cradling her foot to your chest. ‘That you advocated for me, that you helped me set myself up. I know that Tommy wouldn’t have if you hadn’t asked him.’
She smiled, glancing down at the tea in her cup.
‘It’s hard to be back amongst so many people, and to not be…’ you trailed off. Marla came around some nights, but it had been at least a week since you’d seen Ray. You had thought they were your safe people, but in a big house behind a secure wall, you wondered how much that was true.
‘To not be waiting for them to shoot you, to stab you?’ Maria finished, and you sighed.
‘Or to not get stabbed or shot themselves.’
‘You lost people?’ Maria asked, and then blinked, slowly. ‘That was a stupid question. Of course you did.’
The pattern of the tiles on the kitchen floor was two left and two right, you noticed, except for where the bench had been installed. There the pattern was interrupted, as if someone had miscounted, and there was a row of three along the perimeter.
‘Who did you lose?’ Maria asked you, and you gently lowered her foot to the ground.
‘All of them, just like all of us,’ you said, and you held out your harms such that Maria could pull herself up, and she sighed but used them to get to her feet, and you were grateful even in this moment to have helped someone.
__
You happened to be on your porch when you heard the commotion, a bunch of people running down the street towards the front gate. You thought for a moment of an invasion, that raiders had breached the wall, and wondered what, if anything, you would need to carry with you, what you could fit in a bag, looked despairingly at the snow on the mountain tops wondering how you could possibly carry enough blankets to ward off inevitable death. You braced yourself for screams, for gun shots, was genuinely confused when you heard none. Curious now, and less planning your immediate escape, you stepped down to your front gate, leaning over to see what the fuss was. A group of people were moving as one down the main street, and you stepped out onto the pavement to get a better look. You could see Tommy, his black hair sliced back to his shoulders making him stand out even in a crowd of other men. He was walking beside another man, the crowd parting to let them through, and with Tommy’s arm wrapped around his shoulder it meant that the other man had to stoop forward slightly, such that you could only see the top of his head. He had streaks of grey through his hair, his legs straight and strong underneath him. Tommy was gripping the front of the man’s shirt and talking into his ear. Behind them a younger girl, couldn’t be more than 15, trailed with her eyes set on the ground in front of her.
You watched as Maria came out of the sheriff’s office and stood on the pavement in front of them. She smiled when Tommy turned to her, letting go of the other man to wrap her in a bracing hug. You watched as the other man straightened, caught a glimpse for the first time of the patchy beard across his cheeks, of the roman line of his nose, of the flinty look in his eyes. He turned to the young girl, clapped her once or twice on the back, nodding in Maria’s direction. You saw that they nodded to each other, that this wasn’t as simple of a homecoming, that the girl carried pain deeper than any two hands could reach.
You had to wait three days for Maria to visit again before you could ask her about them, and when you did you felt her energy shift. Big as she was it was difficult for her to fidget, but you sensed that she would shuffle in your kitchen chair if she could.
‘Joel is Tommy’s brother,’ she told you, and when you thought about the shape of his jaw you realised you could see a sort of resemblance. This man had seemed to stoic, so closed off, compared to the brightness of the smile Tommy had been throwing at him. It had meant that you initially hadn’t seen it.
‘And the girl?’ you asked, and watched as Maria started fiddling with the hem of her shirt, stretched as it was over the heft of her belly.
‘A kind of daughter, I guess. Adopted, as much as anyone can be right now.’ Maria avoided your eyes and you lowered them, hoping that it would encourage her to continue. ‘They were here, before, for a brief time. A few months. Joel was… he and Ellie were heading down to Salt Lake, we weren’t sure if they were going to make it back, and Tommy…’ she stopped herself, gathered her thoughts, and you heard your own pulse in your neck as you waited.
‘Tommy had started to think that he’d lost him, lost them both. He’d started to think it was his fault, maybe, that he should have gone with them.’
‘But you’re…’ and you stopped, gesturing to her very pregnant frame.
‘I know, and he knew that he couldn’t have, but it didn’t feel like it when he thought his brother was gone.’
You didn’t need your hands to feel the tension coming off her, and you stood then, and reached out to her shoulder, picking up the tendon and easing it down. You remembered back in school when your teacher had shown you the diagram of the fascia, taught and spidery over the pink and red of the muscle. She rolled her neck, her head slumping towards you, and you offered her your torso as a pillow.
‘It doesn’t feel like a warm return,’ you said, eventually, and Maria sighed, reaching up to still your hand.
‘He’s a dangerous man,’ she said, after a while. ‘He’s done things, Tommy did them too but that’s his big brother, you know?’
You thought back to the way Tommy had gripped Joel’s shirt, the way he had been talking animatedly into his brother’s ear, the curl of Joel in on himself in response to it, the instinct to close down in the face of his brother’s overwhelming love.
‘We’ve all done things,’ you said, after a while.
‘It’s different,’ she said. ‘I don’t know why, it just is.’
‘What about the girl?’ you asked, and she softened then, under your touch.
‘She��ll defend Joel to the ends of the Earth,’ she said.
‘You don’t trust her judgement?’ you asked.
‘I don’t trust that Joel isn’t keeping her in the dark,’ she muttered, and it was quiet enough that you had to lean over to hear, and when the words unfurled around you you pulled back from them, the concern and the weight and the finality of them, the heaviness of them in your ears.
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awkness · 2 months
Text
Serial killer! Platonic! Yandere Older Brother & Genderneutral Teenage Reader (Part 2)
(Part 1)
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As reader tries to adjust to their new life without their father, a number of concerning incidents occur, including off-putting behavior from your brother, prevents that from happening. But despite everything, you make a new friend. Surely, this can only mean good things for you, right? Things must be looking up!
Content warnings: implied murder, manipulation, domestic abuse, briefly mentioned alcoholism and child abuse, and general yandere shenanigans. If I missed anything here, please let me know :3
Authors note: lmao I have no excuse for being this late I'm just slow. This was originally supposed to be the last chapter but it got too long so I had to split it up. It feels like a bit of filler but I promise we'll get to the good stuff soon it just needs some set up. Part 3 should be the last part so I'll try not to be too slow uploading (<- lying)
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There were very few things about your father you liked, but his house was one of them. It was something he had inherited from his father, who Ben would inherit as soon your father could be pronounced legally dead. It came with a master bedroom, two normal bedrooms, a bathroom, a living room, a kitchen, the basement, and an attic.
The attic was something you had always been fascinated with as a child. It was spacious, fully insulated and even had an openable window. It could have been a bedroom all on its own. As a child, you had often daydreamed of moving your stuff up there, utilizing the bigger space for blanket forts and storing all the toys your little heart could desire. In reality, it was used in the same way the basement was, except it stored much more valuable items. Holiday decorations, clothes, old valuables that had no room to be displayed, and whatever family heirlooms your late father kept were shoved up above your head, taking space that could have been used for you. You had thought you had grown out of this fantasy, content with the room you had, but with your father gone and your brother running the house, the childhood dream had crept its way back into the front of your mind, tempting you with visions of a bigger, cooler room.
So, after working up the courage, you finally asked Ben if you could move up there. It surprised you just how easily he said yes.
And now you're here, Ben helping you sort through trash and treasure alike as you both clear out the room.
You pulled an unlabeled box from the seemingly endless pile, the top covered in dust and cobwebs. You try not to think about how many spiders are in the room with you now. Cleaning them out will be a trouble for another day.
The box opens easily, cardboard weak from age, a musty smell emanating from within. You look inside, only to be left dumbfounded. Why were there women's clothes in here?
"Hey, Ben, do you know whose clothes these are?"
Ben looks up from his own box, a vaguely confused look on his face. As he makes his way towards your box, you watch it drop into a frown.
"Those are moms."
"Oh." Is all you can say.
An awkward moment passes between you two as Ben stares into the box, face strange as he becomes lost in thought. You decide to break the tension.
"Why do you think he kept them?"
He looks away from the box and towards you, his body slowly beginning to relax.
"He was always a sentimental man, I guess that's reason enough for him."
You let out a snort. "What's there to be sentimental over? She cheated on him, divorced him, and then dumped us on him. She's not exactly a woman worth pining over."
"I'm not arguing with you, but you remember how he was. Couldn't ever let anything go."
He began rummaging through it, quickly getting to the bottom before closing it back up.
"Nothing but clothes. We should probably donate this."
You give a nod as you watch him put it in the growing donation pile. That was going to be such a pain to bring down to the car.
Instead of thinking about that, though, you turn your head to the box that Ben was searching through before you called him over.
"Is this one mom's too?"
Before you get an answer, you take a peek inside, only to once again be at a loss for how something like this could be in your home.
Inside was an assortment of strange objects. A broken polaroid camera, a stained photo album, and an array of metal objects like locks, deadbolts, and... were those shackles?
Before you could make out any more objects, Ben had made his way to you and reached over to close the flaps of the box.
"I doubt it, probably just more junk he couldn't throw away."
He turned around to you and smiled, hands holding the flaps shut.
"Want to do me a favor and go start bringing the donation boxes to the car?"
"Ugh, why do I have to bring them down?"
"Because you're the one who wanted to move up here."
You glared at him as his smile turned into an amused smirk, before you finally gave a huff and picked up a box from the pile.
"Jerk."
"Brat." The smile never left his face.
With only moderate trouble, you navigated your way down the stairs and out the door, making your way to the car. Unfortunately, you had only realized you forgot the keys when you tried to open the door to pop the trunk open.
You quietly mumble curses under your breath as you set the box next to the car, ready to make the trip back inside. Instead, you go completely still as you catch a look at the people across the street.
It was a small group of high schoolers your age, maybe older, who go to your school. They were standing the the yard across the street, a few houses down, talking together to throwing glances in your direction. Your ears strain as they try to make out their incoherent babble. They couldn't have known about your situation, could they? Or at least, what the official story was. It had been over a month since that happened, it doesn't make sense that they would be talking about it now. But you were just moving boxes out of the house such a short time after it happened. That looks suspicious, doesn't it? Of course it does. Why did you have to ask to move into the attic now?
You had been standing like a deer in headlights, openly staring for what felt like minutes before one of them seemingly made eye contact with you. You avert your gaze down as you feel your cheeks grow hot and your hands grow sweaty. A chorus of laughter erupts from the group.
Without thinking, you rush up to the door, fling it open, and slam directly into Ben as he was carrying. You hear it hit the floor as you speed walk past him.
"Wha- Hey! (Y/N)! What happened?"
You didn't reply. You barely even heard his words. Panic had fully taken over and kept you moving away from Ben, away from the door, away from the outside world, and all the judgemental people it contained.
You finally make it to your room, shutting the door behind you, and seating yourself on your bed, trying to get your bearings. 
Tears begin stinging your eyes as your shaky hands try and wipe them away. You wonder if they were still laughing at you.
A soft knock comes from your door, and your body shrinks inward, unprepared for the upcoming talk.
"Kid? Can I come in?"
You don't reply. You know Ben is going to come in anyway.
He waits a beat before opening the door, his face the picture of concern. His footsteps are quiet, and his movements gentle as he sits next to you. You find your body leaning away from him.
"Want to tell me what happened?"
You shrug, turning your head away from him. Even if you did want to talk, you couldn't trust your voice right now.
"Alright, that's fine, we can figure it out together. Was it something to do with mom's clothes?"
You don't move. Maybe if you don't answer, he'll leave and let you deal with your embarrassment in peace.
"The attic?"
A pause.
"Something in the box you were carrying...? Or maybe something outside?"
You stiffen, and immediately try to make yourself relax. Maybe he didn't notice?
"Does this have something to do with the neighbors?"
Oh. Nevermind.
Despite your best efforts, your body language must have given you away again. You hear the bed creak as he gets up, the blinds rustling a moment later as he gives a huff.
"It's those kids across the street, isn't it?" His voice takes on an edge of irritation, and you feel yourself curl inwards again.
The bed shifts as he takes his seat next to you again, a comforting hand placed on your shoulder. His voice takes on the softer quality it had before.
"I can't help you if you don't help me, kid. Did they talk to you?"
You shake your head, trying to talk, but finding the words stuck in your throat.
"They-" Your voice falters and you clear your throat, barely able to speak above a whisper.
"They didn't have to. I could see them looking at me and laughing, I knew they were talking about me, just like all the neighbors do whenever they see us. It's like they know. And these-"
You sniff, snot beginning to run and throat burning as you talk. Ben squeezes your shoulder, and you continue.
"These people go to my school, Ben. They know me. When I have to go back, they'll talk and tell everyone and the whole school will know what happened. They'll treat me different, they'll ask questions, and I won't know what to tell them-"
Your quivering voice finally gives out, and you cover your face. Ragged, irregular breaths come out as you try to force back the wave of emotions you've just unleashed. Gently, Ben pulls you to his chest as he rubs your back, murmuring gentle reassurances you couldn't quite hear.
Moments pass until your breathing finally evens out, eyes dry but still red and puffy. You slowly pull back and he lets you, his face full of worry. His hand still remains on your shoulder, an ever-present weight.
"You've had this on your mind for a long time, haven't you?"
You give a feeble nod. The thought of having to return to school had been weighing on you, but you hadn't realized how bad it had been until now. The thought is almost enough to send you spiraling again.
"I don't want to go back."
Ben gives you a smile. "You don't have to."
Your mind freezes for an instant, any and all thought muddled into incohereency.
"What?"
"Why don't I sign you up for online school this year? I remember you talking about wanting to do it a couple of months back, so why not now?"
"I..."
Your brows furrow. You did tell Ben that you wanted to do online school a couple of months ago before summer started. But this wasn't a new wish. You had been dreaming of being homeschooled since you had dreamed of living in the attic. Troubles in finding friends and fitting in had always followed you throughout the years until you realized the futility of it all, and only dreamt of a home where you didn't have to leave, and Ben and you could spend your days in peace. But the reality of your father's abuse had made school a begrudgingly safe haven of yours and you had slowly given up on that dream, too. But now that it was fully within your hands, you found yourself hesitating. Why? There was no monster in your home anymore, you were safe, and there's no reason to say no.
"I don't know."
He smiled.
"It wouldn't have to be permanent, just for this year. And if you don't like it, I can reenroll you back into your old school, so your options are always open. Plus, you're right, (Y/N). I know how cruel kids can be, especially when they're confronted with situations and people they don't understand. I don't want you to face that if you don't have to."
You gnaw on your lip, unsure of what to say. Ben was right on all accounts, the things he was saying made sense, and yet you couldn't find yourself saying yes. Why couldn't you let yourself have this?
"Can I think on it?"
Ironically, it came out of your mouth before you could think at all.
He nodded, his good-humored smile still on his face. You let out a small breath, so glad to still see it there.
"Of course, kid, it's a big decision. Take your time."
He gave your shoulder one last pat before getting up.
"I'm going to move the rest of the boxes in the car and go drop them off. You want me to pick up dinner on the way back?"
"Yeah, I'm fine with whatever."
"Alright. Rest up, I'll be back soon."
Unable to say much else, you nod as he gives you one last smile before he heads out the door, closing it behind him.
You rub your eyes, your body slowly unwinding from the tension just moments prior, until it gives in and you lay down on your bed.
With nothing else left to do, you crawl under your covers, the familiar comfort of the soft and worn fabric soothing your nerves. Distantly, you hear the sound of Ben's footsteps as he makes his way back and forth from the attic, the familiar and comforting sound lulling you into a dreamless sleep.
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The next morning was pretty uneventful. Ben was off at work while you continued clearing the attic, sorting out the junk and keepsakes, only occasionally getting scared by the stray spiders that had made their home in the crevices between the boxes.
By noon, everything was sorted, with the only thing left being to take the boxes to be donated or tossed in the trash. But you needed Ben to help you with that, so you found yourself heading down to the kitchen, heating instant noodles in the microbe, wondering what you were going to do until he got home.
Around this time is when you usually went to go check the mail, but since yesterday, the thought of having to leave the house left you with an uneasy feeling, tension building in your spine and shoulders the longer you thought of it. A part of you was ashamed that you couldn't even walk out to the mailbox without it being a big deal, and another, much larger part, found immense relief in the thought of abandoning the task altogether, and not having any more chance encounters like yesterday. The more you considered it, the more you found your body sagging in relief. Yeah, Ben can grab it when he gets home, you're sure he wouldn't mind. It's no big deal.
The microwave beeps and you grab the noodles, all thought of the outside quickly leaving your head.
You had just dumped the flavor packet in when you heard a knock at the door.
Your heart, ashamed you were to admit, skipped a beat, and you froze mid-action, breath catching roughly in your throat. Who could that be? Maybe that was Ben, and he had just forgot his keys? No, that's stupid, he wouldn't be home this early, and he never forgets his keys. With no other answers coming to mind, you quietly set the packet down and got up to the door to peek through the peephole.
On the other side of the door stood one of your neighbors, a kid your age. You see him the most often out of all of your neighbors, often doing yard work and tending to the flowers in his front yard. He was also the guy you caught staring at you the most. Well, maybe staring wasn't completely accurate, but whenever you looked his way, you two would usually make eye contact before one of you shyly looked away. You didn't know why, and it played havoc on your nerves. He wore a hoodie despite the summer heat and had an envelope in his hand. He looked nervous.
You pull away and bring your hand to undo the locks before stopping.
For one glorious, tempting moment, you picture yourself turning around, going back to your noodles, and taking them upstairs and away from the door to eat in peace until Ben comes home.
Instead, you undo the locks and open the door.
Your neighbor looks slightly taken aback like he didn't expect anyone to answer. You try not to notice.
"Hello?" You ask.
"Oh, uh, hi! I'm Alex, your neighbor. I live right next to you, the house to the right, well- uh, my right, your left. The one with the red car and lawn gnomes out front?"
He gestures sheepishly towards his house, face nearing the complexion of a tomato.
"Nice to meet you, Alex. I'm (Y/N)."
The social protocols of politeness take over, unable to fully pay attention as your mind stalls, still in a state of shock from the anxiety of the situation.
"(Y/N)? That's a nice name." He smiles at you before quickly looking at the ground.
He hands the envelope over to you, speaking as you look over it.
"Uh, I just wanted to drop this off. I think our mail got mixed up."
Sure enough, the envelope had your brother's name and address on it.
"Oh, thank you." You say lamely.
For a beat, you wonder if you should say something more. It felt wrong to just leave the conversation as it was and close the door, but what else were you supposed to say? Before you can think about it, he speaks again.
"I, uh, wanted to say that I heard about what happened to your dad, and I'm sorry."
Again, your heartbeat skips, and you stiffen, body alert, eyes wide. You probably look like a deer caught in headlights in front of him if he wasn't still looking at the ground. The thought would embarrass you if it weren't for the sharp spike of adrenaline hitting your veins.
"I... I had a dad like him too."
And just like that, your body pauses its panic response, and you find yourself fully focused on him as he continues.
"I thought it would be easier after me and my mom moved away, and it has been, but those kinds of experiences don't just go away, and I wanted to say that you aren't alone."
You still felt a little wired from the previous scares, you you felt a strange sense of ease slowly pass through you at his words.
You stare at him, as he stares down, no words passing between you two before you finally speak.
"Thank you."
You only hesitate for a moment before continuing.
"It has been rough, but it's been more of a relief than anything. It's nice not having to hide away in my room until he leaves."
He looks up, a small smile gracing his face as he finally relaxes.
"Yeah, it's nice not having to check to see if he passed out in the house again."
You find your lips quirking up. "Or having to check his pulse when he is passed out."
"Not having to worry about him throwing a fit whenever he runs out of beer despite him being the one who drank it all."
"Not having to constantly hide food in your room so you have a supply when he does throw his tantrums"
Alex gave a disbelieving laugh.
"Yours let you get food out of the kitchen? There was a lock on the fridge and pantry when I lived with mine."
Your smile widened into one of disbelief, amusement, and shock. "What the hell? Why?"
"Kept getting upset that the food would go missing. Worst part is, every time he got blackout drunk, he'd binge eat, pass out and get mad at us for eating all the food."
You couldn't help it. You started giggling, and he started giggling, unable to react in any other way to the absurdity of it all.
"Sorry! I really shouldn't laugh-" You began, failing to stifle the laughter.
"Don't be!" He said. "He's a stupid guy, you should laugh at him."
You both share the moment, the laughter slowly dying down as you both take your first good look at each other. In this moment, you see something you can't help but talk about.
"Is that a minecraft necklace?"
He looks surprised, but pleasantly so. He glances down before holding it up with a grin. The pendant was the shape of a creeper head.
"Yeah, I'm a big fan!"
He puts it back down and his demeanor changes back to being sheepish, but not painfully so like he was before.
"I have minecraft for Xbox and a spare controller at my house. If you want, you can come over and play?"
It was your turn to be nervous again.
On one hand, you wanted to say 'absolutely'. You couldn't remember the last time you got invited to hang out, and the thought of something as normal as playing a video game with a friend was something you needed. Well, maybe you couldn't call him a friend yet, but you feel like you could, given enough time. Plus, after being so afraid of your neighbors and leaving your house, having someone come up to you and act so warm and friendly made you feel soft. It was hard to say no to that.
On the other hand, you had the nagging, unnameable feeling that Ben would be, upset, but you couldn't think up any concrete reason as to why. In fact, if you focused on that feeling too long, your mind went blank.
Sure, you were going about out of the house without him knowing, but Ben has always been supportive of you. Sure, he's never really discussed rules about going over to a friend's house because the situations never come up, but he's fairly easygoing. You were sure that if you explained why you went, he would be understanding. Happy, even.
Plus, you were only going next door, you had your phone on you, and you would be back before Ben came home, so it's not like he had to even know what happened. Not that you wanted to lie to him, but something about that option comforted you more than any of the other things you listed.
Discomfort pushed aside, you gave a smile back to Alex.
"Sure thing, let me grab my phone."
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It could have been the perfect hangout. Alex's mom was nice, bringing you two snacks and telling stories from Alex's childhood despite his embarrassment, as you two hung out in the living room while he helped you figure out the controls. Soon enough, you two were building a base together, laughing at each other as a creeper or sneaky skeleton would get kills on you both.
You were halfway through making the third story of the base when your phone started ringing. You felt your heart drop to your stomach when you saw Ben's picture on the screen.
"Shit."
You immediately pocketed in and got up.
"What's wrong?" He paused the game and looked up.
"I wasn't supposed to stay so late, my brother's probably home by now."
You went over to the window and peeked through the blinds, and as fate would have it, you saw his car in the driveway.
You hear Alex speak from the couch, voice slightly concerned.
"You're not going to get in trouble, are you?"
That was the question, wasn't it?
"I... don't think so. Maybe? I've never been out late before."
"If you want, I can come with you and explain what happened. I'll take the blame."
Despite your growing worry, you felt a pang of gratitude come through. You gave a small smile.
"That's okay, he'll probably be a little mad, but I don't think it's that serious."
You headed to the door, Alex following behind.
"Hey, on the chance you don't get grounded or whatever, here's my phone number."
You look back and see him scribbling on a piece of paper before he hands it over to you. You take it and look at sloppy, but thankfully still legible writing, and give a bigger, more genuine smile.
"I'll text you later. If I still have my phone, that is." You joke, or at least try to.
He gives a smile and a wave as you turn back and exit the front door.
As it closes behind you, the warmth of the interaction slowly leaches from you and leaves you feeling cold and rattled.
You didn't fully believe the things you said to Alex. You had no real idea what Ben would like because you had never gone against what he said before. The thought alone turned your stomach into knots. It was simply how you two functioned, Ben was the one in charge and made the big decisions, and you listened. Sure, he never had any explicit rules about this, but that didn't mean anything.
As you made the short walk to your home, you began strategizing.
You should do damage control right away, start apologizing straight away, and let him know where you were and what you were doing. Wait, should you mention Alex? At that thought, you shoved the paper with his number deep in your pocket. You didn't want Ben to see it.
Before you could think about it anymore, you were at your front door. Your back tensed, and you hesitated only a moment before opening the door. Waiting would only make it worse.
Before you can fully step in, you see Ben pacing the kitchen, brows furrowed, face strained. As soon as he heard you, his head whipped up, and you felt yourself freeze like a rabbit spotted by a wolf. Frozen, unable to do anything else than stare.
"(Y/N)?"
Just like that, you were broken out of your trance, finally allowed to move again.
You step in all the way and close the door behind you.
"I'm sorry! I didn't think I'd be out that long, I wasn't keeping track of time, I-"
Your voice died the moment you looked back to Ben's face, his features looked so... angry. You've never seen him look at you like that before, never seen him look like that at all. It set off a loud, blaring warning in your brain that something was wrong, and that you needed to leave. But that was crazy. This is Ben, your brother, you were fine.
You tried to start again.
"I was..."
It tapered off as you saw him move towards you, movement swift and robotic as he kept his attention on you. Without thinking, you shrunk back.
"Ben-"
Before you could finish he's in front of you, grabbing your shoulders so tightly it's borderline painful. You grip his arms, weakly trying to push away, knowing better than to seriously try.
"Where were you?"
There was such a dangerous edge to his voice that you couldn't think, couldn't look away. Your breaths came out shallow and your voice so tiny you could barely hear it.
"With the neighbors."
That only made him angrier.
"What neighbors? We don't talk to the neighbors here."
Oh, you were shaking now.
"With- with the neighbors right next to us, the Rogers. I was hanging out with Alex-"
"Who the Hell is Alex?"
His grip got tighter as he shook you, and you could feel the bruises forming. You started pushing at him again, but your arms trembled so badly you might as well not have tried.
"B-Ben, it hurts."
Your voice was so thick with emotion that it was hardly coherent, but Ben understood.
His face blanked for a moment, body shocked to stillness as you continued to try and leave. Then, without warning, he let you go, turned his back and walked a few paces away from you, pinching his nose as he let out a sharp breath.
You listen to him as he takes deep breaths while you rub your sore arms, snot beginning to run as your eyes turn wet. As you step away, you feel your back pressed against the door, and you have the fleeting idea to open it and run away. You realize what you're thinking, and the idea terrifies you so deeply you stay rooted to the spot.
Finally, Ben turns back, face still hardened but not as severely as before.
"Who's Alex?"
You sniff. You really didn't want to do this anymore.
"He's the neighbor's kid. Our mail got mixed up and he brought it over to me, and invited me over to hang out."
You probably should have stopped there, but some scared, hurt part of you needed Ben to understand that you didn't mean this, it wasn't your fault. Your voice cracked as you continued.
"I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. It was only supposed for a little bit, I didn't think I would be over for so long, just an hour or two. I- I didn't mean for this to happen, I should- I should of called you."
You stopped, but only because the shaking in your hands had spread to your voice, and you didn't think you could keep going without sounding like a complete mess.
His face didn't soften for a moment, staring blankly as you had gone on. After it ended, he closed his eyes, rubbed his face and gave a sharp sigh.
You couldn't read him when he looked away. Was he calming down? Did that make him more upset? Every second that ticked by frayed your already worn-out nerves. You were only one yell away from bursting into tears.
He looked up again, face the same as it was before.
"Do you know what it's like to come home with the door unlocked and see you missing, with no goddamn clue where you could be? What was I supposed to think? You didn't even pick up your damn phone!"
He stopped, took a breath, and then continued, a dangerously calm edge to his voice.
"And then you tell me you decided to stay over at a stranger's house without calling me? A person you only met today? They could of been anybody, anything could happened to you. I thought you had better sense than that."
It stung.
"I'm sorry."
It sounded small and pathetic, even to your own ears.
He let out a sigh.
"Go to your room. We'll talk about this more later."
You don't think twice. You rush away on shaky legs to your room and quietly close the door behind you, afraid of doing anything else to set him off. The bed lets out a soft creak as you sit down. You gather your quivering hands in your lap and look down on them, not sure what to do with yourself.
Before you can think about it any further, you hear the front door open and slam shut, then the car turning on and driving away.
As it quiets down, you can't help it. Stifled sobs climb their way out of your chest, feeling like they're choking you until you can't resist anymore. You collapse on your bed, openly crying until you exhaust yourself to sleep.
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The next morning felt almost surreal. You woke up to hearing Ben walking about the house as he did his morning routine. Usually, you would be out of the room right now doing the same, with you both then sitting down to eat breakfast together until it was time for him to leave. This time, you stayed in bed the entire time, idly scrolling your phone as you listened to his footsteps.
A part of you expected him to knock at your door, and ask you why you weren't out yet. Instead, you heard the sizzle of eggs hitting a hot pan as they cooked, and after a short few moments, the front door opening, closing, and locking behind him. The familiar sounds of the car's engine slowly faded away, and you finally got out of your bed, ready to start your day.
You decided to text Alex. You were hesitant to give the details of what happened, simply saying that Ben was upset and things were tense, and thankfully, Alex never pushed it. Instead, he started sending you memes and talking about his ideas for the minecraft world you both started. It was surprising how easy it was to talk to him, the conversation going for hours before he had to leave to help with dinner.
When it was time for Ben to come home, you scurried back to your room, feeling relieved but guilty when you closed the door. On one hand, you could still feel the fear you had last night, and you had no idea what to do with it. It was perplexing and off-putting, and thinking too hard on it made you feel like your brain was turning to static, so you opted to not think about it at all, which meant avoiding your brother as well.
But the guilt wouldn't let you be. It turned what should have been the comfort of your room into a place of wrongness, that you were doing something awful by keeping yourself here and not going down to see him like you usually did. Your lip began to bleed, and only then you realized you had been chewing on it since you heard Ben's car pull in.
You contemplated texting Alex for a distraction as you heard him make his way into the house. And then, step by step, make his way way to the hallway, and then to your door.
And then, the knock.
"Can I come in?"
You don't know if you want to answer, so you don't.
"I know you're awake, kid. Your lights on."
Thoughts raced through your mind as you tried to figure out what to do. For a moment, your mind latched onto the idea that you could pretend to be asleep, but you immediately shrugged it off. This was going to happen anyway, might as well happen now.
"Come in."
The door opens, and you see Ben, completely exhausted, his gaze nervously flitting towards you and the floor as he carried a fast food bag in his hand.
"I brought dinner."
You instinctively perk up at the mention of food, and he takes that as a sign to step closer and sit on the far side of the bed, bag between you two, as he clasped his hands together. His leg starts to quickly bounce before he stops it.
"Figured I'd pick up something on the way home. Didn't feel like cooking.
You nod, even though there's something in you that compels you to do or say more to try and ease his nerves. Even now, after what he did, you hate to see him upset. You try to push the urge to comfort down as you pointedly look away.
Both of you sit in silence while looking anywhere but at each other. In your peripheral, you can see him fidgeting with his hands.
"I know I scared you last night, I just-"
He nervously shifts in his seat. His voice is halting but sincere.
"It worried me, seeing you gone. You mean so much to me, (Y/N). Ever since you were born, I've been there to take care of you. I can't remember a time without you, and I don't want to. You're a part of me, without you, I... I don't even know who I am."
You look over at him and freeze. You're big brother, the man who protected you and cared for you your whole life, is bunched in on himself, face strained and twitching with barely contained emotion as he doggedly stares directly ahead, like looking at you would hurt him. His eyes are red and dark circles frame them. You swallow, years of experience screaming at you to reach over and comfort him, but instead, you sit, never once looking away as he continues talking.
"I shouldn't have done that to you, kid. I should of known better. Should of contained myself. I try so hard for you, but there's times it feels like it isn't enough, and it keeps me up at night."
He sniffs, and your eyes begin to blur.
"I never wanted to be like that in front of you, you didn't deserve to see that. I-"
He wipes his hands over his face, taking a deep breath as he tries to collect himself. After a beat, he uncovers his face and finally looks at you.
"I'm sorry."
It was like a spell had been broken. You found yourself pushing a food to the side and leaning against his shoulder. He hesitantly wrapped his arm around you, and when you didn't resist, he reached his other arm around you, pulled you into his chest, and began softly rocking you back and forth.
You feel the rise and fall of his chest, and it feels the same as you did as a kid when you would run up to him when something scared you, or when you felt your emotions overwhelm you. He would hold you tight and it felt like you were in the safest place in the world. The relief of that feeling after everything you had been through was like coming home.
Still safely tucked in his arms, you spoke again, voice more quiet and child-like than you meant it to be.
"Promise me you won't do that again."
The mere thought of him acting so uncontrollably and violently towards you was enough to make you nauseous.
He squeezed you tight.
"I promise, kid, never again."
You nodded, unable to reply. The both of you stayed like that for what felt like an eternity before he slowly began letting you go.
After getting fully untangled, you rub your eyes, a feeling of exhaustion settling in as your stomach rumbles.
"I'm hungry."
"Hi hungry, I'm Ben."
His reply is so quick, you think it's automatic for him.
You shoot him a glare, but it's undermined by your smile. He returns it with one of his own.
"You wanna go down and eat? I got you a milkshake too, it's down in the kitchen. But might be a bit melted by now."
You spring up, fast food bag in hand as you make your way towards the door.
"Why didn't you say so, let's go!"
You hear him let out a chuckle, and you let out one reflectively, too.
You both share the meal together, talking and laughing late into the evening, until it was finally time to sleep. You drifted off easily into a deep, restful sleep, finally at peace.
161 notes · View notes
Hi! Big fan :) You're an environmental lecturer, right? I recently got into a debate with someone about rewilding in the UK, and the clash with farmers and agriculture. To me, this is a no-brainer - I absolutely do feel for farmers losing their livelihoods, and I think there needs to be a system to help them transition to something else, but also, the planet is dying. But you explain things well, so I wondered if you have thoughts? Particularly on the Welsh side of things. Thank you in advance!
Hah. I literally have a lecture on this. Or, well, a chunk of a lecture, anyway; so yes! I have thoughts. I'll use those notes, and stick a big reference at the end in case you want to read more
I'll talk about this specifically from the Welsh perspective, okay so:
The rewilding project in Wales is the Cambrian Wildwood, launched in 2004ish by a guy who bought an abandoned farm in the northern end of Mid Wales with the express intention of rewilding it. The aim is to convert some 7000 acres, and the initial mission statement said they'd reintroduce wolves and lynx. That's the project I'm going to talk about, because it's a great case study for how to spectacularly fuck something up (and eventually realise you've spectacularly fucked up, and do something about it.)
These are the Cambrian Mountains:
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When looking at that, there are two competing viewpoints that are relevant here:
The Cambrians are ecologically depleted. Their biodiversity has crashed since the Second World War, when modern farming methods were introduced. Environmentally, there is a perception of emptiness and degradation.
The landscape is a glorious one that has been shaped by the human actions taken on it for generations, as we are a shepherding culture – culture and land are inextricably intertwined.
That's a big fundamental difference! Two people can look at that same photo, and see something diametrically opposed. But there's more lying on it, so you also need to understand the socio-political background.
Socio-Political Background
(I know! Headings! So professional)
A lot of rewilding – Cambrian Wildwood included – is taking place in areas where farming is declining for various political/socio-economic reasons, so this can be ENTIRELY FAIRLY seen as yet another threat. This goes hand in hand with rural migration and community decline, too.
In Wales, we’re mostly rural, and characterised by extensive upland livestock farming (sheep in particular). Most farms are small to medium family-run setups. ON TOP OF THAT, the vast majority of Welsh farmers are Welsh-speaking, and the right to operate a farm the ‘traditional’ way without UK government oversight is seen by Welsh Nationalists as an important post-colonial act.
Many of them didn’t even like the National Parks being set up, as they were seen as an English outsider imposition that ignored the working nature and cultural history of the land. Remember: the farmed uplands are often seen as a heartland of Welsh identity, and those have historically been intentionally destroyed by UK central government land management decisions (e.g. Tryweryn, Elan, Claerwen, etc)
“Over the past half century we have witnessed the arrival of countless environmental fundamentalists… seemingly oblivious to the fact that their new-found paradise is already occupied by people whose connection with the land is deep rooted, dates back thousands of years, and is embedded in their language and culture.” (Nick Fenwick [Farmers’ Union of Wales] 2013)
SO IT’S CULTURALLY DICEY
(And in my opinion an incredibly stupid idea to go and give it a primarily English name with a Welsh translation as an afterthought but that is Elanor’s Opinion and not Scientific Fact)
(But fr fr if you ever have to get involved in these sorts of projects you will go a long way if you have the basic respect of learning the Welsh names and pronouncing them right rather than lazily expecting everything to be in English sorry sorry I digress)
From the Cambrian Wildwood’s Mission Statement on their website, their objective is:
“To rewild or restore land to a wilder state to create a functioning ecosystem where natural processes dominate by carrying out habitat restoration, removing domestic livestock, and introducing missing native species as far as feasible.”
Can you see the controversial bit of the statement
Can you see the bit where they directly say they want to remove domestic livestock
Jesus Christ
Cultural Differences
AND THEN HERE'S THE BIGGER PROBLEM
‘Culture’ in Welsh is diwylliant – literally, a ‘lack of wildness’. There is no direct translation into Welsh for the term ‘rewilding’ – the closest you can get is anialwch or diffeithwch, which mean ‘wilderness’ in the sense of ‘desert’ or ‘wasteland’. So right off the bat, if you tell a Welsh-speaking farmer that you want to rewild the place, what they hear is "We want to make it dangerous and empty and degraded."
A related concept is cynefin - knowing one’s ‘patch’ and the feeling of belonging associated. The term has its roots as a description of the way grazing animals know their area of mountain land, but it is also used to describe how people come to form an intimate experiential knowledge of place - and specifically, a Welsh farmer's cultural attitude.
Basically, Welsh literature and oral traditions speak of a relationship with the land, not a separation and longing for an untouched wilderness. Farmers feel this especially keenly. Culturally, this is a big part of why they do it – they’re rooted to the land, and therefore to their identities.
“Interviewees conveyed this by referring to areas proposed for rewilding as being comprised of “a quilt of cynefinoedd: interwoven stories, the layered and collective place-making of families and individuals over-generations, co-constituted with the physical landscape” (Wynne-Jones, Holmes and Strouts, 2018)
So, to them, rewilding is erasing and disregarding these stories. To them, this is not just a land-use change, but the latest colonial attack. They've known the family who lived on that farm for generations - every birth, marriage, death, joy, triumph, loss, everything. You are saying that you are going to strip that family, all those stories, all those people out of that land, to be forgotten.
However. There is a counterpoint to this.
Many farmers taking this view have therefore identified themselves as the only “truly Welsh” people in the debate, accusing environmentalists as being outsiders. The problem with this being, most of the environmentalists involved with the project are also Welsh; so who the fuck are they to say who is or is not Truly Welsh? It's what we on the internet would recognise as gatekeeping, with a big side order of No True Scotsman fallacy.
Also this quote sums it up well:
“Sheep farming in this country goes back a few hundred years. I think if you go deep enough into our culture and ancestry, we have a really deep native relationship with wild forest areas and with the wild animals that are native to this country…I just don’t agree that sheep farming is really part of our traditional culture.” (WWLF Interview [15] 2016) (Wynne-Jones, Holmes and Strouts, 2018)
This is also a fair point. It is true that upland sheep farming, the way we now practice it, is only a few hundred years old, and at the current intensity only a few decades (since WW2).
On top of which, there has been plenty of exploration over the years of farmers as being a government-subsidised landed gentry, which I won't go into here, but it also contains some fair points.
In truth, all of it and none of it is true. It’s far more complex and nuanced than either side might want to believe.
Solutions So Far
This is an ongoing project and they're still learning and changing new things and stuff, but a big thing they did was get someone in to basically be a mediator and listen to both sides, because Jesus, those sides were not listening to each other.
But to date:
They actually worked with a first-language Welsh speaker (WHY DID THEY NOT DO THIS FIRST I'm sorry I'm fine). Originally the Welsh translation of the project was Tir Gwyllt – wild land. But given that Welsh connotations with gwyllt are something out of control or dangerous, Coetir Anian has been chosen – anian refers to a sense of natural order and creation, a sense of health and vitality. Similarly, ‘rewilding’ is being translated as ‘di-ddofi’ – ‘de-taming’. This acknowledges the labour and culture taken to tame it, and just suggests an avenue for discussing some relaxation of farming practice in appropriate locations rather than, you know, releasing packs of wolves directly into sheep pens
In online materials and in community engagement events where traditional storytellers and musicians have performed to celebrate the Wildwood, the trustees have drawn heavily from Welsh myth in the form of the Mabinogion. Enormous amounts of the Mab lovingly and respectfully feature wild woods and wild animals. The emphasis is therefore on how wilderness is also part of Welsh identity – and arguably a much older part, going back to the Celts. (This is clever, in my view, but something to approach with care - it's rarely a good idea to play the game of "What's the most Welsh". But so far it's been done sensitively)
Land purchased for the project has so far been wholly limited to that available in the public domain. The main site, Bwlch Corog, was empty and unfarmed for six years before purchase, which has been stressed in all media interviews and releases; this is important, because farmers do have a sense of "Productive land is being stolen by environmentalists".
Large predator reintroductions have largely been abandoned. Lynx and wolves are no longer on the agenda. It’s possible they’ll be included in the future, but it is acknowledged as currently impractical (both from clashes with farmers and lack of habitat).
Instead, they’ve supported smaller species reintroductions, such as the Vincent Wildlife Trust’s pine marten translocations, and some proposed red squirrel ones.
Bwlch Corog is to be managed as an experimental plot that farmers are encouraged to engage with.
Assessing the potential for new income streams (from improved tourism and educational activities) rather than just the ecological benefits – this has become central to the project, and the emphasis is on how this might benefit farming communities and keep them together. This has been huge, and has also been successful in rewilding schemes in Europe.
Tensions are a lot lower now than they were ten years ago, but ultimately the problem was a bunch of outsiders came in and decided they knew best without listening to anyone else's point of view, and that meant both sides really dug their heels in. Much better now.
Ultimately... yes, I am in favour of rewilding, in a general sense. But I think it needs to go hand in hand with supplying farmers with the necessary subsidies to transition back to more traditional and sustainable farming methods, and the two elements run side by side. You can't do one without the other, not if you want them to succeed. The Pontbren Project is a great case study for how a farmer-led scheme can successfully aid them economically while also improving environmental outcomes, and we need to learn and incorporate more lessons from it when discussing this kind of landscape-level management.
Also, with land management in general, I think you're a fucking idiot and dangerously arrogant if you think you can get anything done without all stakeholders being on board. And potentially wandering down the ecofascism path, circumstances dependent.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. Source:
Wynne-Jones, S, Holmes, G & Strouts, G (2018), 'Abandoning or Reimagining a Cultural Heartland? Understanding and Responding to Rewilding Conflicts in Wales - the case of the Cambrian Wildwood.' Environmental Values, vol. 27, no. 4.
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