#and there's a reason i don't talk about that to anyone. even on here (the oversharing website) lmao.

[vaguely-concerned]

the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh

[dilf-docs]

You're a Daydream, Stay A While

joel miller x younger!reader

summary: you're jackson's designated bartender. well, your dad is, but after the arrival of a new face in town, maybe the inspiration to finally step up to your obligations kicks in.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., oral (f. receiving), fingering, foreplay (mostly breasts), creampie, breeding kink (kinda), angst/comfort, insecure!joel (love touch etcetc starved), needy!joel, pov switch mostly joel (he's down bad as well), collected shitty puns from across the internet like thanos collected the infinity stones

word count: 6,136 words

side note: yk what's worst than simping for old men? simping for old men who don't exist. since y'all know, tlou II trailer dropped, which got me searching for joel's ***** to brace/prepare myself. umm so, why did no one tell me jackson!joel is the hottest thing ever? can´t wait to see pedro being senior citizen level of hot and dying (again) on his bday month! 😍 anyway, this is based on this request and well, yes! i too would flirt with an old ass if he looked like that™ hope u like it bc for some reason I'm not sure of it JSJDLKDFK also 400 followers GUYS STOP (pls don't) IT'S TOO MUCH (give me more) HELP!=="))??! (that i do need tysm)

The truth is simple: you hate working.

An apocalypse later, you figure there are more important things. But on Jackson, it feels like the world before fungus and violence, and everyone's got a role to play. As the daughter of Tipsy Bison's owner, yours is to help around the bar, something no matter how much your dad scolds you, you don't seem to care enough to even do a decent job.

Of course, it could be worse: patroling, keeping the cattle or crops, but not even then you're moved enough to give a shit about it.

Enter Joel Miller.

He, who made sure his arrival in Jackson didn't go unnoticed, making heads turn at it, not only because of his emotional reunion with Tommy, the little girl with him, or the fact that he left yet still returned. But also (mainly to you) because he was hot. Very hot.

Joel was the type of handsome that was rough in the edges, his closed-off demeanor and overall mystery adding to the thrill. His face seemed to be in a perpetual state of grief and darkness, sprinkled with grey and wrinkles, that in your opinion, didn't mean about age but just something that made his features all the more attractive.

It was a lie to say there weren't any boys your age in Jackson, good-looking too, yet you felt yourself gravitate towards Joel's musky presence. Yes, he could be your dad, but again, it's the apocalypse, and there are plenty of things to worry about than some age gap.

That doesn't stop the talking, anyway. It may be the end of the world, but gossip is just like cockroaches: it never dies.

The Tipsy Bison owner's daughter is in love with Tommy's older, much older, brother.

It didn't bother you, thought. You were pretty open about it, giving Jackson more to talk. Whenever Joel arrived at the bar, all heads would turn in your direction, ready for the shameless flirting and compliments you showered the oldest Miller in.

Maria had warned you, of course. She was the closest you had to a friend―sometimes being like a big sister, and she seemed to know what he was up to before, at the QZ in Boston, thanks to Tommy. Safe to say, you didn't care, despite listening to every word she had said.

Joel could break your heart, yet in a dying world, you weren't afraid to live.

Which is why now, as he enters the bar, you offer your dad to take his place.

"Go rest, I'll take this client" you offer with kindness, but he knows better. You're his daughter: in the end of the day, he's aware Joel is here, your shift in attitude warning him about Miller's incoming presence.

"If you will take this client, take the rest too" and before your dad can throw a speech about everyone being equal in Jackson, you're accepting to do the job properly, despite your grumbling and lack of interest to anyone who isn't Joel.

"Joel" you greet as soon as he sits, one of the many flirty smiles you have for him only adorning your face. He nods, avoiding your eyes that look at him like he could give you the world. He can't, so he keeps focused on the glass you're pouring in front of him.

"See? Didn't even need to ask. I already know" you seem proud of it, and the ghost of a smile brushes his lips.

"Well" he raises the glass, "it's an easy drink"

You feign hurt, "is that how you treat your bartender? I could poison your drink" Joel now truly smiles, knowing you could never, "or I could just strip you of your my favorite customer rights"

Now he feigns hurt, playing along for the first time in ever.

"Copied" he raises his arms in surrender, not before taking a gulp. You watch hypnotized the way his adam's apple bobs, the liquid sliding down his throat until it looses itself in the peak his two buttons undone give, of what looks to be a broad soft upper body, blessed with a patch of greying messy hair.

"Have they ever complimented you before, Joel?"

You. He refrains from answering, scared as to where little encouraging had led you and your shameless mouth to. He can feel the rest of the people behind him whispering, holes burning his neck. He can't let you win again: make him seem a pathetic excuse of a man who can't say no to a sweet doe-eyed delusional girl.

But you don't stop, despite his silence and the growing pit on your stomach.

"I'll take that as a no. Wanna know why?" he takes a much needed sip, "because all the good pick-up lines are taken"

This he can handle, Joel thinks. It's silly, proper of your age-

"But you aren't"

Ah, of course. Hasn't he learned?

You have the nerve to laugh, free as a wind chime softly carresed by the wind. His face burns, and even thought he's heard plenty of worse from you ("No pen, no paper but you still draw my attention", "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?" "You must be a dog person because you look fetching"), nothing had affected him this much.

Which is why he tries to pull the mask that had accompanied him since he first knew what grief was, so no feeling would ever made him weak again in a world hardened with pain. He's so good at it, wearing it like a second skin that doesn't scrub off no matter how much he wastes Jackson's water supply away, he sometimes sees the way your face is crestfallen at his indifference.

But you're young and stubborn, as so was he, before all the suffering and broken dreams.

So you won't listen to the past or doubts: the moment he stepped a foot into the community, you knew it was over, beating so loud you could barely hear your own breathing or him, when Maria introduced you and he shook your hand with his much bigger one.

"Joel" he'd said, with the sexiest voice you'd ever heard. His hands were covered in gloves, but despite that and the cold winter, the warmth that pooled from his palms had spread across your cheeks and chest. It had taken you a while to realize you hadn't said anything.

"Y/n" you hate the way your voice sounded small.

He nods, a way of saying Nice to meet you in his withdrawn nature. Then walks away, with Tommy and the girl, who looks curiously at you, Joel completely oblivious of how he's just turned your world upside down.

"Welcome to the museum!" you had said.

He tilted his head in confusion, Ellie's stare intense. "I thought this' Jackson?"

"This is a museum, because you're a work of art"

The tip of his ears instantly reddened, and the laugh Ellie was containing bursted like a bottle of champagne.

"Look at you, old man!" she laughed at him, making you wonder their relationship and how closer they seemed to be, despite initial assumptions. "Can't believe a girl gets the big, grumpy, scary Miller to blush like a boy"

You think that's the reason behind his apathy towards you, barely reacting to your pick-up lines or "subtle" flirting. It's probably not a reason as childish as that, but you'd rather be wrong than accept he may never feel the same way you do.

Because for a moment, despite the times you lived in, life made sense.

So no matter the stares, Joel's guarded posture and lack of reciprocation, you'll always be there, waiting: riding the roller coaster, enjoying the high.

The speed brings you closer, even if that means you'll crash.

Unfortunately for Joel, he knows who you are.

He's not even ten patrolling jobs closer to owning a bottle of whiskey of his own (he thinks earning it is bullshit, hasn't he done already enough?), so he's forced to go to the only place where he can get it.

And of course, there's you: a name and face he couldn't place upon his arrival, even if you had introduced yourself with your shitty line (which made him blush and Ellie laugh, so maybe it was a grudge what made him bent on removing you from his head) yet now is ingraned into his mind.

He doesn't know what's worst: your flirting or the fact that you seemed genuine about it. Or maybe it's the fact that he can tell you apart from the rest now, with a face full of life, always ready to give him your best smile and serve his glass the way he likes.

He needs to be the bigger person in this mess and stop it, Joel thinks. He isn't one to care about the talking, years of being brutal hiding any possible feeling that isn't rage. But then Ellie smuggled her way in his life, he found Tommy again, and Jackson was a reminder of old days when he would allow himself to feel anything else. So, in a way, he's become a bit susceptible to the talking behind his back.

How could he entertain a girl that could be his daughter? hushed, behind his stool. But then your fingers brush "accidentally", and his dick twitches between his legs when you bite your lip, pronouncing a Sorry like no one has said before: a tone so low and sultry, he's convinced wasn't even possible. Then you bat your eyelashes, and laugh (a sound both as delightful as addictive) before you're saying: "Don't mind them. They're just jealous you've got all my attention" and for a brief second, Joel let's himself believe he's special and worth of your time.

It's now a while since he's been there in Jackson, slowly settling into a life that doesn't involve running and fear.

If he thought your little crush was a phase, he's wrong.

You're still giving him time.

He's not supposed to get attached to you, Ellie, Tommy and Maria (future nephew in the way) more than enough. But then, when he's alone in a house too big for two people, Joel misses the way your loud voice fills the eerie silence that's followed him since death has been tracking his every step. Or how your interest on his life doesn't seem an act, listening to every word he says with tender eyes and soft smile, sometimes even making the effort of bringing things he's said before into new conversations; remembering. His heart flutter at your compliments, no matter how dumb they are, probably because he's not used to that stuff. As he lays awake at night, brain clogged with wounds too deep to bear, he finds comfort in things he has a feeling he's too old to get worked up about.

"Joel" you had said one day. God, he loved his name on your lips. The way you say it so sure, as if you'd follow him wherever he'd go.

He coughs. "Yeah?" and you smile, because at least he's looking in your direction.

"The chance of meeting a person like you is the only reason I talk to strangers"

The way your tone was straight, not flinching or faltering scared him. How something akin to sincerity dancing in the sparkles of your eyes, that now seemed to waver not out of whimsy but out of vulnerability, perfectly hidden in what could pass as another one of your attempts to woo him, but Joel's lived and seen enough to know it means much more.

So now, whenever there's darkness, he finds light on replaying those small moments on his head.

Dear God. What's he become? Ellie can't find out or he'll never hear the end of it.

But this things you don't know. All you see is a wall, and you're getting tired of hitting it.

The few words he spares your way are now a punishment you endure, cruel reminder that it's all you'll ever get.

Could you be in love forever? Could you even love?

It was a new feeling. Foreign, in fields of inexperience, but familiars in others. You may have never felt it, but the way your beat was steady when he showed up, worn out boots against the wood creaking under his weight, makes you believe when you know, you know.

"Hello, Joel" your father greets before you speak. Today, no matter how much you tried to shoo him away, he stayed.

You send a small smile his way, but he doesn't return it. You feel small, like a kid, undeserving of his attention. There's a bit of relief knowing your dad's there, so you let him take Joel for you.

There's always a first, and when both your dad and Joel notice, the latter feels a little sting on his chest.

But he's caused this, he thinks. It's what he wanted, after all: for you to stop chasing a man with scars in and out, bearing sins and blood where you had innocence and love.

"We're having a party tonight" he comments, making Joel quirk an eyebrow as he sips.

He gives you a brief glimpse, lost in the curve of your ass in those tight jeans, you giving him your back. He dryly scoffs on instinct at your deliberate choice to ignore him.

"Why's that?"

"My daughter's birthday"

He sees your body tense in the corner of his eye, wiping the glass in your hand with a bit too much force.

"Happy birthday" Joel speaks up, and you mutter a weak Thanks.

That's all he gets? No smile, no looking his way. Just a dry thank you that sounds more like something he would say.

Oh.

Was this how you felt?

"Time sure flies by" your dad sighs nostalgic, completely oblivious to the whole thing. "I feel if it was yesterday we came home from the hospital with you"

You smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes, despite the obvious adoration for your dad.

"Don't get sappy on me" you sound embarrassed.

"I don't care. Twenty-one years later and an apocalypse in the mix, you're still my baby"

"Dad!" your cheeks heat up, and Joel almost forgets he's there, his body back to life when your face goes back to its normal color and happiness.

"Which means" your dad goes back to Joel, "you're invited"

Your laughter dies and Joel's chest tightens.

"You need to stop saying that. All Jackson is invited" you respond, making him flinch. The bite is obvious.

You're not special, is what you try to say in between lines.

"I'll be there" tone daring, and your father feels something has shifted in the air.

You don't answer after that. What are you supposed to say? Don't come? I hate you for making me feel small? He doesn't owe you anything, but it still hurts.

"It's at seven" there's a sharp edge to your tone when looking at him.

"I'll be there" he repeats, still, but it sounds more like who he really is trying to convince is himself.

Joel is there, as promised. You don't know why, but after what happened earlier, for the first time ever, seeing him brings you dread.

He catches you in a corner, sipping on some drink.

"Hi" it's soft, the tone new, and it doesn't help the pit in your stomach.

"Hey"

"Why are you here?" he's curious., "ain't this supposed to be your party?"

It's funny, really. The way everyone else mingles around you, laugh and talk, yet here you are, bitter inside the shadows of your corner.

You raise your glass and chuckle dryly. "Well, cheers to that"

"You shouldn't be here" he insists, and you roll your eyes. Then, his voice goes soft. "Is... Is this because of me?"

You scoff, venom falling out of your bitter laugh. "Wow, big ego you got there. Newsflash: the world doesn't revolve around you"

He's so used to your pinning, it's hard to bear the change.

"I wasn't saying that, I just-"

"Please don't" you cut him off. "Don't ruin my birthday more than you already have, thanks"

You decide to walk away, but Joel won't let you.

"I don't want that" he insists, blocking your steps. "I want you to be happy"

"Don't bullshit me" your tone is icy, cutting like daggers. "Please, leave me alone"

"Not until you're fine"

You scoff at his incomprehensible behavior.

"Oh, now you care? Drop the act; you're just angry I'm not stroking your ego anymore like a lovesick puppy. Truth is, you don't owe me anything, Joel"

He looks like you've slapped him across his face.

"I know" his voice darkens, filled with tension. "But-"

You get tired at Joel's sudden insistence, overwhelming you with confusion. This is the same guy that has uttered less than fifty words your way, indifferent to your flirting and special treatment. Of course, it may have been a little silly of you to expect so much from a guy older even than your dad, but his apathy was borderline rude, and that you can't excuse. Or understand. Or let go.

So yes, you're being petty. And yes, it also feels good to have him begging to have your attention, the roles reversed.

"But what, Joel? Is there anything you can say, really? It's not that serious" you empty the glass in a chug, feeling dizzy. "Live a little and stop being so obssesed with me"

He shoots you a look hard to decipher. There is hurt: from all the emotions available, he chose the one thing you didn't think he'd be capable of feeling. Hell, he looked rather more like the cause than the affected on the other end. But then auburn fires flash behind his eyes, and the circle repeats itself, the danger and rage Maria warned you about.

"Obssesed with you?" his eyes carry a wild light in them. "If anyone is obssesed, well, it ain't me"

"I need air" you push past him, done with his shit.

"I'm sorry-"

The cold wind hits your face as you storm outside the bar. Is this a lesson to be learnt? Was this how heartbreak felt? The only thing you know is you need to get the farthest you can, even if your footsteps feel heavy with the weight of the snowed streets and frigidness of your heart.

"Y/n, wait!"

You turn around. Unbelievable: Joel Miller is running after you.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Joel?!" you shout, "why can't you just leave me alone?!"

"Because I-"

"There's nothing for you to say" you counter, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration. "If this is some sort of guilt thing, I need you to let it go. What I did- I mean, you should probably forget about the whole thing. It's my fault, and I'm sorry my reaction is immature and what not, but I should've known to read the signs. You're simply not interested in a girl who hasn't truly lived or known what pain is"

After you confession, you hear a laugh. You raise your eyes, anger and hurt flashing in tears.

"And you have the nerve to fucking laugh?! Fuck you, Joel" you want to walk away to save yourself from further embarrasment yet your feet seem to be stuck.

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm not interested?" you roll your eyes, but he pins you by your shoulders, as if knowing you'd walk away. "Listen, I need you to know somethin': I'm not who you think I am"

"I don't care" you interrupt, defiant. "You're right, I don't know who you are. But I want to. Who you where outside this walls... It doesn't matter, not to me. You did what you had to do to survive, and that brought you here. Jackson... think of it as a second chance. You can still be happy, you know?"

With me, dies in your throat, not wanting to give more of yourself away.

"It's better this way" Joel insists, "hell, you'll even thank me one day. There's plenty of young boys here who'd love to be with you, trust me"

"I don't want them, Joel. What's so hard to understand?" what makes you get closer to him, you don't know, but in a sudden rush of force, you find the courage to look at him, body standing still as you exhale, fears condense in the air. "I only want you"

"You don't" you should roll your eyes again at his stubborn character, but his voice comes out so small, almost as if resignated, that it tugs your chest.

"I do" you reply firmly, cupping his cheek with tender care. He leans in your touch, despite it revealing his true desires when it comes to you.

"Why me?" Joel whispers, bigger hand covering yours, as to prove it's real and the warmth isn't a joke. "Why not a younger, charmin', happy boy your age? Why a broken violent older man?"

His voice breaks after the admission, quietly seeping into heavy silence that falls like the snowflakes in his hair.

"Joel" you call his name softly, making those sad brown eyes look at you. You gulp, nervous at the storm of emotions inside them, "is it so hard to believe you can be loved?"

Your words make him falter, his grip loosing strength as he tumbles back.

"Love?" he repeats with disbelief, as if you'd just say some kind of tale. "There isn't love in this world left for me. Men like me don't deserve good things, especially if they comin' from a pretty girl as yourself"

You shouldn't be blushing at times like this, but the maroon splash on your cheeks betrays you, warm as the drink from before and red as the dim lights casted by Jackson's Christmas tree in the middle of the town.

"Joel" you call again, and he's surprised you're still there. That you hadn't turn your back on him, or looked into his eyes and saw the monster in him, running away to never come back.

"If you let me" you hold his hands to steady him even as they tremble, "I could"

I could love you.

The promise hangs unspoken in the air, the wind now barely above a humming.

"You'd take me" his voice falters, "with all I've done, knowing I've hurted people?" Killed people, but he can't bring himself to say it when you look at him like that: like he could learn to love you.

"Yes" your voice doesn't waver a bit, "every part of you"

"And you'd take me knowin' that I'm years ahead in hurt, age and life?"

"Yes, Joel" you giggle. "Are you making me do an exam on your life? Because that's not fair, you've barely spoken to me, or anyone else for the matter!"

He chuckles, shaking his head.

"I s'ppose life ain't fair, sometimes"

"But it could be" the moonlight of the now clear sky shines over your eyes, and Joel is sure that the stars would be jealous.

"It could" he repeats, as to believe it himself.

Silence settles again, but it doesn't feel suffocating anymore.

"You know, we should probably get inside"

You dissmiss his words. "Nobody has even noticed we're gone"

"What about the cake?"

Your chest feels warm at his concern. He may not believe it, but the old-world Joel, the one who was a contractor in Texas and had a daughter, is still there, somewhere.

"Jackson is real, but miracles not" you laugh, "we don't have those. The party really is just an excuse for dad to drink with his friends during labor hours"

"And yours?" Joel inquires, "where your friends at?"

"Left early" then you lean to his ear, hot where skin meets cold. "I told them to"

He tries, but all words die on his throat.

"Wanna know why I did it?" your fingers wander to his tense jawline, tracing your sharp nails until they descent to his neck, sprinkled with loose hairs from his beard.

"Why?" voice barely above a whisper, his cock painfully hard between his legs. That you don't know: just the glint of dark on his hazel eyes.

"Why don't we find out?" and your hand takes his to lead the way. When he doesn't move, you try other way.

"I'm the birthday girl" you tease softly, but your orbs sparkle with something akin to dangerous. "You better make it up to me"

You've walked this road so many times, yet it's never felt longer.

The house is alone, you'd say, and Joel followed you because well, he'd follow you anywhere. He notices you said 'house', an indicator you still live with your parents. He wonders if you're embarrased, but by the way you smile, inviting him inside, to a part of you intimate and unknown until today, he knows he's chosen right.

When you open the door, cold creeps in through the cracks of warmth. You lead the way to your room, and once you're inside, he thinks it's very you.

"Very me?" you giggle, taking a seat in the bed. Joel watches from the doorframe, his bulky arms crossed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's cute" and you think it's not a frequent word in his vocabulary, thanks to the pink dusting his cheeks.

"I'm cute?" you repeat delighted, and the shade of pink turns darker.

He just nods, avoiding your gaze.

"Joel" you call, then pat the spot next to you "why are you so far away? Are you scared?"

He grumbles something under his breath before walking over to where you showed. The bed creaks under his weight, and now that he's closer, you hear the wavering beat of his heart and ragged breaths.

"You are scared" you repeat, a statement now. He thinks you're mocking him, until your sure hand grabs his. "It's okay"

Before he can add on that, your face is too close, your breath tickling over his nose. He feels the moist of your lips press over the brigde of it, with a tenderness that brings ghosts of tears he has since long shade to his eyes.

Then they smoothly move to catch him in a kiss. He lets out a shaky gasp against your mouth, letting himself loose on the whiskey drops inside, an intoxicating mix against his own. His hands find your waist, gripping the soft skin with calloused fingers, refusing to leave it. He squeezes your curves while infiltrating your mouth with his tongue, until he pulls to breath, making you whine.

"Fuck, sweetheart" he nips your lower lip, "ain't you the sweetest thin' to ever exist?"

The kiss gets more heated, his hands now traveling to your face as they hold onto you for support, rough digits meeting peachy skin. Just the mere act of kissing makes him groan against you, too old to be shameful about the needy sounds coming out of his mouth.

"Joel" you whimper his name. He stops and takes the time to bore his gaze over your flushed face, your own dazed eyes mirroring his.

His fingers find their way to your hips again, pulling you closer. The moment caughts you and the bed off guard, the furniture creaking while your eyes move to the hardness visible on his worn-out jeans. You move your head to free your mouth to talk, but that doesn't stop Joel, who hungrily kisses the trace of your jaw and the road starting in your neck and finishing on your collarbones.

"Is that because of me?" Joel whines against your lips, yet you can't stop staring at the very big silhouette. "Oh, happy birthday to me"

Joel whines when you tear way from him, his hands loosing grasp on your body. You move up against the headboard, spreading your legs for him to put himself in between them.

You take off your clothes, and his eyes don't leave your body as if it's a show for him. He can drool at the sight of your breasts, rosy skin waiting for his tongue and teeth to sink on it. He leans closer, eyes looming at moles he could beg to kiss.

Now you, your expectant eyes plea. Joel's posture adquires a guarded air, as he grows self-conscious.

"Stop staring at me like that" he nervously chuckles.

"Is there something wrong?" your sweet voice inquires, laced with concern. He gulps, kind of afraid and embarrased of what you would say.

"I'm..." his voice comes out strained, "I just-"

His mind briefly wanders to Tess, how she never said anything, rather busy seeking the warmth of his body without commenting about it. The act mattered over the feelings, which where in her eyes but not his heart. But now, his heart beats in a different sound, one where he wishes you won't judge a body crossed with the roughness of scars yet the softness of extra weight.

"M' just warnin' you, doll" the nickname brings butterflies in your stomach, "this body's seen better days"

He removes the layers of clothing: flannel first, and then tight white long sleeved shirt. He's left in his jeans, unbuckling his belt that falls to the floor with a thud. His breathing turns to panting, afraid to meet you in the eye.

"Joel" you repeat his name, bringing him back to reality. "Look at me"

He's killed people, faced raiders as much as infected, and other countless things, so he dares himself to look up, breath hitching when he finds you eating him with your eyes.

"Fuck, Joel. I didn't know you were so pretty under those dirty ass flannels"

You knew he'd be handsome; that's literally the reason why you chose to flirt with him. But now that he's completely stripped off his layers of warm clothing, it's even better. You can't stop your hungry eyes from roaming his body, lingering on the soft swell of his stomach, hanging over the waistband of his underwear. A scar that looks deep is near his belly button, and you wonder if he'll ever tell you why. There's a patch of hair over his soft chest your tongue wants to lick. And of course, his strong arms packed with broad shoulders that make you want to scream.

"Stop lying" he chastises, but there's a smile adorning his features. A true smile on Joel fucking Miller's face. What a rare sight; you need to see it more.

"W-where your condoms?" he asks, nervous.

That catches you off guard, too busy cooing over how a man so big and sturdy could fold that easily, looking and sounding small.

"I'm not sure. I mean, maybe on my parents room but I-"

You cut yourself. Joel's concerned gaze finds you. "Yes?"

"I want you, Joel" the intensity of your stare terrifies him. "All of you"

He falls closer to you, forehead against your own. He can't bring himself to look at you, so he closes his eyes and dares to ask:

"Are you sure you want this?"

Are you sure you want me?

"Don't you trust me?" you're all smiles, even if your voice is soft. "I want you. I truly do"

He's hiding his face into your shoulder until you feel his lips pressing against your now bare skin, making you shiver.

"Where you want me, birthday girl?" he says between kisses. "Tell me, sweetheart. I'm all ears"

"Please, Joel" you unhook your bra, letting your breasts free. His lips begin to kiss his way to your breasts, tongue teasing the skin before nipping it. Joel's teeth catch the hardened nipple, grazing it lightly.

"S'pretty" he sounds drunk, and you love the way he looses himself in the pleasure haze.

He continues kissing your breasts before positioning himself right so he can hover above you. The kisses turn wet and sloppier, as if all his energy was to be spent into the rosy skin.

"Can I taste you, sweetheart?" he lowers his head to your entrance, already soaking wet with your arousal. "Fuck me, if this ain't a meal"

"The best in all Jackson" you joke, but the laugh dies in your throat when Joel's nose ghosts over your throbbing pussy.

"I- fuck, Joel" you moan when he licks your folds, his tongue an expert. For a brief moment, you think of who came before you, and if this is what they got or you're getting the best version. His saliva mixes with your dripping juices, making you whine as his tongue licks your swollen folds. His fingers then slowly inserted themselves inside at the same time, moving in and out of your puffy walls. His groans mix with the sound of your whines and the furniture creaking, the sounds obscene and feeling so far from the outside world.

"You're so good at this, baby" his sweat mixes with the blush on his face because of the nickname, nose pressed against your clit as he keeps up the ministrations. "D-don't stop"

"This pussy's so pretty" he says, "and s'only for me, yeah?"

"Yes, Joel. Only yours" you whine, your orgasm approaching. All of your body feels on fire, every touch inching the burn in your stomach closer as his head remains between your legs, tongue insatiable. You come all over his face, your hands digging into his damp locks as you scream his name to the air.

Joel raises his head to capture your lips on a wet kiss, the taste of you inside your mouth and dripping from his coated beard.

"Ain't you sweet" you open your legs further. "You're such a tease, sweetheart. Gon'be the death of me"

"I just like seeing you like this" you admit.

"Means?"

"So fucking needy"

A borderline primal grumble births from his throat. "You've a filthy mouth on you, sweetheart" he chuckles while wrapping your legs around his waist and lining himself up. Joel's tip runs up and down your folds, grazing your clit long enough to make you gasp.

"And you're s'fuckin' tight" he mumbles under his breath. You gasp for air as you try to adjust yourself to the huge size of his girth, afraid you bit more than what you can chew. His pace starts slow but gradually picks up a rougher and quicker pace. Joel grunts between thrusts, yet takes his time to make sure his lips kiss every mole sprinkled across your face and chest, his favorite just above your left eyebrow.

"I want ya' to come first, like a present" blush crosses through his face again. He leaves teasing kisses against your face, as you wail, finally hitting you.

"I'll wait for you" you whisper, your hips aiding you to sustain his sloppy thrusts, "want you to come too. Inside"

You feel his softening dick twitch, suddenly rock hard again. Oh, so he was into that.

"Don't worry, I have a pill" you explain. "So go ahead, pretty boy. Show me if the size matches the talk"

"Bet" his voice acquires a darkness to it. "Gonna fill you with all of it, until you milk my cock dry. Gonna fill this pretty pussy until it's full of my seed and it leaks for days"

He follows right after, groaning into your shoulder, where he bits the skin. His tongue wets the area, to relief the pain, yet you like it. Thick ropes of cum paint your puffy heat creamy, Joel panting as he stares down at you.

"What?" you chuckle.

Maybe Jackson was a safe haven. Heaven incarnate. Maybe second chances were real, and for the first time in years, he feels safe.

"I don't deserve you" he voices his thoughts, forehead pressed against yours as he tries to even his breathing, yet each breath seems more labored than the last.

Your hands travel to his face, cupping it with tender hands. He leans on the touch, because despite his crimes and past dawning upon him, he's a man: one seeking comfort on a pretty face and anything that'll remind him of distant emotions that can still exist despite what the world has become. Joel's hands travel to yours, thumb brushing skin free of scars and pain. He envies and loves the beauty in your face, eyes full of something akin to affection looking back, blurring the pain mirrored on his own. You kiss him again, and he can feel the emotions in the tip of your tongue.

"You're wrong" your voice holds a quiet determination. Time was a precious gift, but in Jackson, time could be, and the resolve longing tells him you'll be there. I'm not going anywhere, Joel. Not without you. "We all deserve love, Joel"

Joel Miller is a man who finds it hard to trust, yet, when he takes a look at your eyes―warm as coffee, he allows himself to believe in you.

[hillbillyoracle]

While this is an awesome explanation of why the word degenerate is pretty shit, it's not the best explanation as to why this shit is presently fucking bonkers.

DNI lists do not stop people you don't like from interacting with you.

Even people using them know this. Yet there's this doublethink that happens in these groups that having a DNI is to keep you safe. How can something that doesn't actually keep these people from interacting with you keep you safe then?

Well it's function isn't for material safety, it for social safety. It's gives the user what Naomi Kline has called "the social currency of victimhood".

If a user finds out that someone they've been interacting with has an affiliation with one of these groups, they can then turn around go "I said that I didn't want to talk to them and they talked to me - I am the victim!" They can then use that social currency to get sympathy or, in many cases, launch harassment campaigns against the person.

I would also argue that DNIs mostly serve as a flagging function, a way to signal to other users in similar groups that they're "one of the good one" because they're against the same things - quite literally virtue signalling. The issue with this is that because the emphasis is on the signaling and not the the virtue, anyone can coopt these signs and gain access to the community and it's harassment norms.

We see this happening with right wing operators all the fucking time right now. As a key part of their playing book, they've coopted social justice language to repackage their fascist ideas. And I do literally mean fascist here. It's why you're seeing huge swathes of the wellness, alternative spirituality, and eco communities splinter and align with folks like Steve Bannon. A growing number of queer folks voted for Trump in the last election due in part to these repackaging tactics.

So not only do these DNIs not keep people materially safe, they open the door for material danger, for bad actors to exert unchecked influence in these communities.

But hey I thought this was about the word degen?

It is. Degenerate is literally the term the right has been using to refer primarily to trans people and queers and progressive women secondarily for literal decades. And they absolutely mean it in the original terms the calamitousgumption outlined - in the eugenics way.

"but it usually means pedophile!" - then say pedophile. Does it not feel like pedophile means pedophile any more? There's a reason for that. The right has also been actively - there are literal playbooks out there for this - trying to take the language we use to identify harms and coopt them for their agendas. They've been conflating pedophile with any form of gender binary crossing - mostly trans people - for decades. When you avoid using the word pedophile when you mean pedophile, you play into their hand. When you opt for degen instead, you pick up a eugenicists term they've weaponized for the specific association you're trying to distance yourself from.

So bringing it full circle - adding degen to your DNI lets the right weaponize the cancel culture tactics of these communities where it's popular against the very people they want to destroy. Online harassment campaigns increase the likelihood of someone committing suicide and that is absolutely a feature that appeal to fascists.

You are doing the work of the very people you say you don't want to interact with.

Stop relying on signals, use critical thinking.

DNI lists on this website are fucking insane

[katherinemckay]

one musical to movie change i haven't really seen anyone talk about is the subtle difference in how glinda's potential future with the wizard is laid out to her before defying gravity (and how that changes how you can read her motivations).

in the musical the wizard explictly says "you have so many opportunities ahead of you - you both do" and then that's that, so glinda has reason to believe she has a legitimate future with the wizard regardless of whether elphaba's there. this can play into the interpretation that she stays behind for her own ambitions - she clearly has opportunities waiting for her.

however, this actually isn't how it comes across in the movie, at least to me. the wizard's original inclusion of glinda in his plans is changed from explicitly mentioning opportunity to just "you having a home here [...] and if it'll make you happy, possibly, your friend." in the movie version, the wizard directly states only that glinda would be joining them in the palace - and it's merely a suggestion as an addition to elphaba (she's even just referred to as her friend, not being spoken directly to) to make elphaba want to stay, rather than him describing glinda as someone who could have her own individual opportunities.

then, when elphaba runs away, morrible tells glinda "you want to do yourself some good, bring her back." here, morrible now suggests that glinda could do something for herself and her individual future. what i find interesting is that glinda instead jumps on the hot air balloon with elphaba and even fights off the guards with her. while glinda does try to talk elphaba down for awhile ("let's just have a word with them," "you've got to let him explain," etc.), she ultimately abandons this approach by the time elphaba has chosen to defy gravity.

in the movie, glinda goes against morrible's direct orders of bringing elphaba back when she accepts elphaba's choice to leave and helps her get ready. this means that by supporting elphaba in her decision, glinda actually abandons the chance she believes she has to finally get in with morrible (and by extension the wizard). in movie-verse, glinda really has no reason to believe staying behind without elphaba could advance her own ambitions, because both the wizard and morrible have laid out a potential future for her that is reliant on having elphaba at her side and keeping elphaba compliant to them (and using glinda to do that). i don't think that movie!glinda ultimately stays behind for selfish/power-seeking reasons, because the wizard and morrible haven't actually suggested to her that she has a path alongside them as an individual. (they also just truly show no interest in glinda as an individual person in a much more obvious way than in the musical, but that could be its own post.)

ariana grande has spoken a couple times on how one of the emotions glinda feels in the added hug scene with morrible is relief, and i think this all is why. glinda chose to stay behind while helping elphaba escape, knowing it was disobeying what was asked of her. given glinda is also being detained by the guards in that moment, i think that relief comes from her genuinely not having known if she would be safe or would become essentially a prisoner after staying behind, and feeling relief when morrible does free/accept her and suggests there's still a path for her.

there's definitely moral grayness to discuss with how glinda accepts her position within the regime and settles into it, but i think (in movie-verse) the actual choice to stay behind isn't one of those moments — it wasn't established to glinda that staying behind without elphaba could actually lead her to power and opportunity with the wizard, and she directly goes against the one path to power that was suggested to her by helping elphaba leave.

[beargregor]

wait i'm curious, what makes you say that gregor doesn't like everyone else (if i read that post right)? just curious since i've never seen anyone else say that

i don't necessarily think gregor dislikes everyone else at lcb but i do think that gregor is an incredibly petty person that isn't nearly as close to the rest of the sinners and even outright dislikes some of them cough cough rodya cough cough which a lot of people just Refuse to see because he's as much of a doormat as he is. there's several examples i could get into to try and prove my point however i'll just focus on what i personally think to be the biggest ones.

additionally, this is going to be kind of long, so i'm adding a read more. read more! read it. sorry for being so wordy. i have several diseases.

Pt1. gregor is the type to try and get along at least decently with everyone, especially if he gets a good first impression from them.

this is less a point in favor of gregor's distance w/ the rest of the sinners and more just a contributing factor to it. once again there's several examples i could point to here but i think the most in your face one happened in canto I with yuri, as several people have pointed out. even before gregor comes clean about growing attached to her as quickly as he did because she reminds him of his sister, we get this interaction.

i'll go ahead and make the disclaimer now that i don't necessarily think gregor is the most reliable of narrators, especially when it comes to his feelings and interactions with most people, but from the way he acts when the topic of yuri comes up (and the way we still see him act even all the way up to c7, nearly a whole year after yuri's death) i don't see reason to question his sentiment here. gregor immediately got that aya and yuri were close, potentially even taking note of their traded belts, and went out of his way to get something nice for yuri despite hardly knowing her.

i feel like a lot of people have forgotten as much, especially since it's been so long since c1, but gregor actually spent a good bit of season 1 doing the exact same thing with the other sinners! gregor reads a connection between him and ishmael pretty quickly despite getting off to a rocky start

mostly because gregor can tell that ishmael is pretty sardonic in a very similar way to him. there's been multiple instances where ishmael and gregor have essentially expressed the same sentiment at different moments, most notably gregor's little argument after ishmael got shot with a decay ampule in c4

and ishmael's response to pilot talking about self-sacrifice in c5

i could go ahead and pull up more examples, but in general pm has gone out of their way to show us that gregor and ishmael are pretty similar, so it makes sense for gregor to assume that they're friends, right?

this will be pushpin 1. keep note of this for Later.

ishmael's only the first sinner we see gregor trying to do this with in s1, we also see him try it out with heathcliff, sinclair, and ryoushuu

he's tried to get along with charon, being one of very few sinners that we've seen actually try to establish a connection with her at all

even rodya, despite my insistence that gregor doesn't like her nearly as much as the fandom thinks he does

all of these seem pretty fine and dandy, right? sure it frequently leans towards self-degradation, micromanaging, and commiseration, but gregor can at least be pretty chummy with most of the sinners, can't he?

Pt2. hell's chicken was more than just comic relief guys please

i'm fully aware that this is quite the hot take, but i think hell's chicken deserves a lot more credit for character writing than the fandom gives it. hell's chicken gave us foreshadowing for several events, such as the donqui bloodfiend reveal

heathcliff's distortion in c6 (as well as hong lu's highly speculated distortion at some point in the future)

and ryoushuu and sinclair's continued connection by making him the odd one out on her team

which, hey! that implies something about gregor's odd one out, don quixote, too, doesn't it? yes. yes it does. that's pushpin 2. keep note of that for later.

speaking of pushpins, hey! that's pushpin 1!

splitting into teams is one of the major events in hell's chicken, and most of the sinner's choices are either motivated by very little, backhanded, or motivated primarily by not wanting to be on the opposite leader's side. i didn't include all of the picks, just because i feel like including most of them already gets this across, but i think gregor took one major thing from this: most of the sinners, when push comes to shove, will only side with gregor when they refuse to or can't take his opponent's side.

now, don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware that this is primarily intended to be comedic relief, but when gregor is being described as having his trust broken by ishmael or nearly crying because no one on his team properly sided with him for him, i feel like it's pretty fair to read into this.

something that i think is pretty important to remember in conjunction with this is that we know that gregor is the type to hold a grudge, both from his general attitude towards the G corp soldiers in c1 as well as his continued distaste for vergilius

even beyond the splitting into teams of hell's chicken, the sinners have given gregor plenty of reasons to feel bitter. i feel like this is something people have noticed but haven't really put a finger on, but it's kind of wild just how often the rest of the sinners make gregor the butt of the joke

and sure, we could argue that a fair few of these aren't really made with any ill intent. quite a bit of it could have been meant as harmless teasing, but with gregor being more sensitive than most, it coming from nearly all sides, and as often as it does? yeah, i think he's prone to taking it a bit personally.

Pt3. yes i do still think gregor was the third most important character in canto VII you guys gotta hear me out okay

of course, all of this leads up to the bit of the story i highlighted, doesn't it? c7? i totally get why people haven't really picked up on all the gregor things i did in it, seeing as they were mostly not *directly* said about him or by him.

personally, i think that gregor's distaste for talking about himself on any serious level and thus leading to him getting sort of "sidelined" narratively (which i take issue with that claim, but still. it's effective for getting what i mean across atm) is supposed to lead players to take a deeper look at the times gregor gets held up to other characters and compare and contrast what's being said about them by the matchup. as i showed earlier with his immediate latching onto ishmael, i think this is something gregor himself is at least partially aware of too.

so, that begs the question, who was gregor compared to in canto VII that makes me think it's one of the most critical pieces in understanding his character?

really, i'd like to avoid getting too lost in the analysis of this canto specifically, since i'd like to do a proper post about this later, but i figure i can bury the lede a little before doing it properly.

c7 features several characters being made to perform in sansón's play, acting out the relevant backstory for this segment of the plot. a lot of these characters have rather direct, degrading reasons for playing the roles they do.

outis, a character with an inflated ego who wants her journey to have a purpose, is made to play an aimlessly wandering villager with a single line.

hong lu and ryoushuu, two characters for whom families and the expectations placed upon them are likely going to play a major role, are made to play bloodfiends.

rodya, a character who resents her lot in life and is constantly shown to be eager to leave her destitution behind her and become someone special, is made to play a helpless villager that's too poor to even offer any money to the hero that saves her.

heathcliff, a character that has spent most of his life getting dehumanized by comparing him to beastly animals, is made to play a literal bear whose sole purpose in the plot is to get beat up and then quickly left by the wayside.

sinclair, a character that has two opposed parties essentially treating him as a macguffin to procure for their side, is made to play the character who was arguably the catalyst for this entire canto, not to mention playing a decently major role in ruina.

our star don quixote is made to play her father, the first kindred, but there's someone by their side the entire time, isn't there? don quixote's dear, steadfastly loyal companion. a character which don quixote has tasked themself with getting to come out of their shell?

hello again, pushpin 2.

gregor has been made to play our unreachable star, sancho. someone had to, of course. you can't really tell a story without it's main character, now can you?

now, i should once again give a disclaimer. i am not trying to say that i think adapting what happens to donqui/sancho in c7 to gregor is the road pm is going to take here, not only would that toe a bit past the line of foreshadowing, but it'd also just amount to rehashing that plotline again, which i don't think would make for a particularly exciting story.

what i DO think is that we can take a lot of the things that are said to either directly be the case for sancho and use them to inform how we see gregor.

and god, does playing sancho have some fucking implications for our favorite ossan archetype.

starting off, the earliest moment we get to see of sancho is quite literally her just waiting for death to take her in a pile of ashes.

which, i should remind everyone, is actually pretty damn close to what happens to gregor's literary counterpart at the end of the metamorphosis. gregor samsa experiences one final breaking point that pushes him over the edge and makes him decide to just wait for starvation to take him.

gregor and sancho both consider themselves to no longer be human, something which sancho goes out of her way to highlight repeatedly throughout the canto and gregor is quick to get defensive on her behalf for when outis starts really tearing into her

sancho spends quite a lot of this story denying herself the joys of community and friendship, despite knowing that, even with the rest of the sinners frequently making jokes at her expense and outright insulting her, they were things that she desperately craved.

and, while this is getting into my "outis is a red herring meant to distract us from gregor's eventual betrayal" theorizing, i also think it's worth noting for this discussion that sancho's fellow kindreds, her family, all seem to be under the impression that she dislikes them and ultimately her departure was an act of betrayal

and that, despite gregor being one of LCB's resident mood makers and attempted conflict de-escalators, one of the sinners that's most prone to making appeals to the bonds they've all forged together, only him and faust remained silent during everyone's speech

so yeah, i think there's quite a lot of little details and hints building up to the reveal that gregor's not quite as fond of everyone as he presents himself to be. i do think a lot of this ultimately comes down to gregor getting in the way of his own happiness, similarly to donqui, particularly because he's been frequently portrayed as something of a self fulfilling prophecy, especially by giving him as many christ allegories as they have by way of priest and garden of thorns. gregor is convinced that the rest of the sinners don't like him because he's not convinced anyone could like him, so he convinces himself that he hates them because why should he care if someone that he hates hates him too?

a lot of this ultimately ties back to my personal interpretation of what happens in the metamorphosis as well as my own theories regarding all the times gregor has made weird callbacks and references to lobcorp and ruina, but yeah. i think about this guy and his deeper characterization a fairly normal amount, i think.

to end this off i'll highlight one of my favorite little "gregor is fucking seething and trying so hard to keep it cool" moments, in the credits CG for c7 we see rodya teasing him by drawing a little horse on his window and actively pointing and laughing at it, which gregor really doesn't seem all too pleased about.

i personally think this ties into the other cruel part of sansón forcing gregor to play rocinante, which is the more literal "he's actually just straight up playing rocinante" side of things. gregor was quite literally made to play something less than human, less than even animal really, as he was reduced to nothing more than the shoes don quixote wore as she got to play the leading role. sansón directly makes jokes about gregor being nothing more than shoes in the play twice, which adds to this reading, i think.

this, imo, really plays into the adaptation of the metamorphosis! i've seen a lot of readings for the book that posit that, despite being the protagonist, gregor samsa can't really be considered the main character due to nearly everything he experiences in it being used to further his family's character development at his expense, which i think fits nicely with limbus gregor seemingly having the most said about him through indirect means by holding him up to other characters. also it's rodya carelessly making fun of His Big Major Insecurities™ again like she did in c1 which i always find fun. rodya i love you but god you're the worst.

[wonjuii]

Hi, I do think exposing is childish but... I want to warn people. Ever since, like around 2024, august? I was invited to a groupchat, filled with people who posts on tumblr! some were ppl i didnt know about. And.. there is marie. I thought marie was a sweet person at first, didnt talk to her since i didnt know her that much. ever since the month grew, there's a chaos drama about dodo. (i am not bringing it up that much but it will be some information direct to that chaos)

it was around... october? I dont know but lets forget that! past 3 days, marie was being too dramatic, calling me and @awwriri sensitive. (just to tell you that, I can reclaim the slurs since i took an irl test but idk if its a thing since the doctor said "it was to check if i have autism" but it was positive i guess!) It was during the lil-liaa chaos. I didnt want to say the r slur to her but i ended up saying it since there were alot of things happening. As you can tell, i asked permission to say the slur, I was worried if i am really meant to say the slur in the gc. (please anyone dont get uncomfortable!) all of the sudden, she called me insensitive..? I didn't know asking permission is considered impolite or insensitve.. we all had a small talk with marie. everything went a little okay (I assumed.) there are evidences of our small talk.

I apologised... many times. MANY TIMES. "don't be sorry" i will have to be sorry because you bashed on me and riri bc of the slur now the whole server bc of dodo?? U can't be that serious. I also mentioned that everyone deserve to be forgiven! guess marie cant accept that. I thought riri was the owner of the gc, of course i had to ask her permission but no. she wasnt the owner. i was dumb enough to not check who's really the admin of the gc. When we had a small conversation about slurs, she mentioned she cant reclaim the N WORD bc others used it?... Although she used it when she just said it TWICE. (ITS NOT A RACISM SLUR, SHES AFRICAN)

i was just trying to make a conversation, setting up a new type of topic since i got really annoyed and uncomfortable, talking about slurs. But, she continued, wouldnt even stop ending the conversation about it. I even try to convince her to bring riri back to the gc since we all wanted to see how she is.

.... okay. do u like.. hate riri or something? The fact she argued with riri, MAYBE ALMOST EVERY WEEK. MAYBE EVERY DAY. its just disgusting how shes treating the others like shes the oldest of the gc. (she tried to boss me, telling me not to say the slurs bc im insensitve) just so you know, vivi educated me more about slurs so i am not going to say it. (thank you vivi)

The text may not be necessary, but can't you tell how bad she is? if your assuming its bc her education system or shes young, i was 13, i rarely got into fights. (like twice a year.) most likely, she's to cause tons of fights. my screenshots:

(Please press to read, it might be hard for you to see!)

This is a dodo situation. you may not know why dodo didn't explain why she didn't say anything or mention her reason about ignoring to chei. here it is.

basically, she was moody (mood swings i think) I understood dodo, i have frustration issues so i get really annoyed like almost everyday. just to clarify, were not bashing on chei, this is just to show evidence about marie and things she said! more evidence when she started being rude to me... (i didnt clip that part but others may have seen it, she said something like "no, i dont want to ❤️" something like that)

shes basically thinking we dont care...

(im at the corner at the top, replying to her.) You can tell i apologised to her like many times. shes basically saying dodo doesnt deserve to defend herself because shes a bully..? do you realize what ur doing. its childish.

evidence from dodo about marie talking about dodo in her post!

i cant. this is just annoying me so bad. why is she only asking me to block her ??? im so confused. (AGAIN, please press these evidences to read!)

wow.. i just dont get whats her problem with dodo, me and riri atp?..

sigh. marie tsk tsk.. i just cant believe this. i assumed she was going to expose me but i guess not?.... also another information.. me and vini were just trying to calm her down but she started bashing on her too.

Thank you to anyone to might be reading this. Again, exposing seems childish but its the best way to do it. its for others to be warned, incase! tags : @y-unrei @n-americano @i-mmaculatus @sugarish

@miujo @i-kyujin @aestradairio @awwriri @atsubie

@aeraras @rkivefr @daddldee @p-oisn @kissunoo

@florescita @fairytopea @purinkiss @hourlyhoon

@lvioung @obdosant @tzulipss @j-eongs @yeritos

@yonkiibums @hcvenue @bitchey @babyvoxgirlie

@swhore @bloomqi @kiyeuo @chaeryeos @y-vna

@y-urios @aestradairio @aesverse

god all of that tags is MAD!!!

[playfullypastelpupper]

CW/TW- Kink Mentioned ---------------------------------- --------------------------

I agree on not villainizing and trying their events if you feel safe. There is a lot of sfw members in those communities. I for one was in those communities as sfw before I knew regression. But like others said- PTSD and minors are in our community. They can't go to these events. We also got to keep in mind regression can be involuntary and can be outside of an adult headspace. Are they excluded for not being able to give consent in the moment? Are most of these events accommodating? We also got to keep in mind littles apart of DID systems. What if they go to a panel that seems safe but includes kink terminology and roleplaying and then the systems have to explain. In regard there are many people there who are in an adult mindset and may talk about adult topics even if you don't consent to it nearby. It can knock the agere out of their safe mindset or trigger PTSD in that moment. For PTSD it can be scary to approach or even consider attending. They deserve a space as much as anyone. A place their own. I understand going out and trying things. The conventions are really nice for nostalgia and having fun. But I can't say it's completely sfw for a regressor as someone who also watched the cons and interacted with the community. It can have subtle small flags that may send an age regressor into turmoil who feels unsafe. For example a food panel could end up with suggestive roleplaying. Or someone may bring up kink exploration during a meetup. Even a playroom could have NSFW conversations hinted at. Its fair they'd want their own space as much as its fine if you want to explore these events yourself. Everyone cares for their safety and wants differently. Saying they should go and try this while treating others feelings as something to be mad about is unfair. I get agere can be hard to duals and kink. I've seen some strong words said. I know people hurt by it. People who felt excluded and guilty for who they are. I agree. Yes we can tone down our own emotions to be kinder. We can, especially through understanding. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way or different expressions of age regression that don't fit in neatly. I'm glad people can relate. I'm glad they have the opportunity to do this if they are comfortable. It's a great way to regain some childhood back or self grow. But separation as a community exists for a reason. Some of these policings happened because of the past harm peoples been through and the fear of it happening to others or even to themselves. If you're hurt at someone not wanting minors seeing kink content or ending up in kink spaces due to crosstagging. (Which mind you duals tend not to crosstag because they understand.) Age regressors not wanting to be kicked out of their own spaces, which has happened, and turned into a dating/NSFW space. Or kicked into a bad space because of seeing something that may remind them of trauma. All because you don't care for separation. And Without separation looking for a Caregiver can turn dangerous. Then maybe you need just as much understanding for other age regressors experiences as much as sfw kink. Because even if they are SFW they are still in a Kink Space. History is important here. We have a whole history on why we stay apart as communities online. What I'm trying to get at.. Don't undermine experiences or concerns. You can't rise a group up and then beat another down. You can dislike something but you should be careful with the impact you speak of. You don't have to understand for them to have an opinion on their boundaries. And I'm sorry to any age regressors that read this post and saw them calling those above an embarrassment for simply being uncomfortable with kink in their space. I understand being hurt by mean words like calling someone 'icky' for existing. That hurts people too. Just bare in mind there is also no excuse for calling someone names. You are just as wrong. Either one can be mean and guilt causing toward that person. Just stay safe and love who you are. Take care kiddos

Stealing these photos from a K!nk convention because these looks like so much fun and I wish I could have this environment for non-sexual agere littles.

[cheshireliam]

"The Case Files of Detective Harrison" Collection Event

Ring Schwartz

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting

CASE 01

Request Details: Find the culprit behind the pranks(?)

Client: Kate

…

When I made my way to Harrison’s room, Liam greeted me with a smile. 

Liam: Welcome, Kate! Here to commission Harrison?

Kate: Yes. I heard from Victor that Harrison started a limited-time detective agency, so I thought I’d give it a go.

Harrison: That works for me too. … After all, mysteries don’t just conveniently show up when you need them. 

Harrison: So… what kind of case do you want me to solve?

Kate: I wouldn't call it a case per se, but… some strange things have been happening over the past few days.

…

Whenever I went to the palace to attend to official matters with Victor, I often had to wait a while before I could see him.

Victor had specially prepared a spare room for me to wait comfortably in. 

The room, filled with fresh air flowing in from the open windows, felt comfortable to be in. 

However,—

(... It happened again.)

The room was littered with twigs, scraps of paper, leaves, and bits of loose thread.

[ Flashback ]

Liam: Trash was scattered all over your room!? 

Kate: Yes. The room stays perfectly clean on days I don’t use it, so I can’t think of a reason why this keeps happening.

Kate: But… occasionally, there would be beautiful flowers or sweet treats left on the desk. 

Liam: Besides trash, there’s sweets and flowers too? That’s a weird combination. 

Kate: My thoughts exactly. That's why I want to find out who’s doing this and why. 

Harrison: … I have a hypothesis. Let’s head to that room to prove it. 

[ Flashback End ] 

… 

When we arrived at the room, Harrison looked out of the window and muttered in satisfaction.

Harrison: Just as I thought… it was a robin.

Liam: Kate herself? 

Harrison: Not her. I meant the one flying in the sky.

Harrison pointed out the window at a small bird flying.

Kate: Oh, it’s carrying a twig in its beak!

Liam: There’s a robin’s nest near the window. Looks like its gathering materials to build it. 

Harrison: … The robin must've dropped those items while transporting them to its nest on the windowsill.

Harrison: When the windows were opened for ventilation, the items ended up inside the room. 

(So that's why when the windows were kept closed while the room was unoccupied, the room stayed clean…) 

(... I’m glad it wasn't someone pulling a prank on me. 

Kate: … Hm? But birds don’t pick flowers or buy sweets, do they? 

Harrison: Yeah. Which means there’s another culprit involved.

Harrison: Isn’t that right? — Ring Schwartz. 

Harrison called out to the hallway through the open door. 

And then, Ring himself walked into the room. 

Ring: … I don't know what you’re talking about. 

Harrison: Even though you were eavesdropping on our conversation? 

Ring: I didn't hear anything. I only happened to be passing by.

Harrison: Yup, that’s a lie. You know something about the person leaving those gifts, don't you?

Ring: … I- I don't. I have no idea who might've left the biscuits and white flowers. 

Kate: I’ve never told anyone about the type of sweets and colour of the flowers. I think only the person who left them would know. 

Ring: T-that’s…

As Ring struggled to think of a response, Harrison and Liam exchanged glances at each other. 

Harrison: … Looks like it’d be rude of us if we probe any further.

Liam: Yup, yup. Looks like some mysteries are better off left unsolved by detectives. We’ll leave the rest to you two~ 

Harrison and Liam left the room with teasing smiles on their faces.

Kate: Um, Ring… 

–

Option 1: Ring misplaced those sweets and flowers. 

Kate: Did you forget that you left the sweets and flowers on the table?

Ring: T-that’s right. It's not like I left them there on purpose or anything…! 

Kate: I see… I’m sorry for taking them without asking. 

Kate: I misunderstood, thinking they were for me. 

Ring: Ah! No, um… sorry. I lied. 

–

Option 2: Ring wasn’t the one who left the sweets and flowers. 

Kate: So the one who left the sweets and flowers wasn't you, but someone else. Right?

Ring: Y-yeah… that’s right. 

Ring averted his gaze, glancing around nervously. His actions were basically openly admitting he was the “culprit”. 

(Guess I’ll have to play along to get the truth out of him…!)

Kate: What do I do… now I’m so curious about the culprit’s identity that I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep at night. 

Ring: That’s… a problem. You might fall sick if you don’t nap during the day. 

Ring: And it’ll interfere with my task of keeping an eye on you… 

Ring: … Sorry. That was a lie. 

– 

Option 3: “Did you leave me the sweets and flowers to cheer me up?”

Kate: Did you leave me the sweets and flowers to cheer me up?

Ring: … T-that’s…

Kate: Ring… please answer me. 

Ring: S-stop that…! Don’t look at me with those sparkling eyes! Don’t come any closer!

I only took a single step closer to Ring, wanting to pressure him for an answer. But his face turned bright red as he became flustered.

And then—. 

– 

Ring: … I was the one who left the sweets and flowers. I wanted to cheer you up because you were feeling down. 

Ring: But… I’m glad the rest was that bird’s doing and not a prank. 

Kate: Thank you for worrying about me, Ring. 

Ring: I-I wasn’t worried or anything. I just…

Ring: … I just thought you look better when you're smiling. 

Ring: If I’m going to keep an eye on you under Dari’s orders… I’d rather be watching you smile. 

The reason was unexpected, but it made me happy to know he did it while thinking of me.

Kate: … I have a request, Ring. 

Ring: A request? 

Kate: Next time, instead of secretly leaving things for me, come chat with me and we’ll have biscuits together. 

Kate: Being with you will make me smile too. 

Ring: Being with me makes you smile…?

Ring: … You’re odd. 

Ring’s embarrassed smile filled my heart with warmth. 

If I could control it, I’d never want to go through anything that would dampen my mood. 

But… with Ring caring about me like this, I felt that I would be able to find my smile again, no matter how many times.  

[deadhands69]

Black Coffee

Tenko Shimura/Tomura Shigaraki x gn Reader

Thanks for the request @s-0-ckz , this was so much fun to write! [1.2k wc]

“Black coffee, no room.” 

The man in front of you in line at your regular coffee shop grumbles his order before taking a seat near the window.

You try not to stare, it’s difficult though. 

There's something alluring about him. His presence feels oddly familiar, drawing you in. However, at the same time you've definitely never seen him or anyone quite like him in your life. For starters, he has distinctive scars, icy white hair, and vivid red eyes.

You peel your eyes away for long enough to stutter out your own order before taking a seat near him. He’s beautiful, in an otherworldly way, and you’re not sure if you’ll have the guts to ask for his number. Instead, you sit close-by in the hopes he’ll talk to you first. And you might stare a little.

He doesn’t, but his eyes flick up at you occasionally.

After forty minutes of debating in your head, you finally work up the courage to talk to him when he begins packing. He’s halfway through wrapping-up his laptop cord when he glances at you approaching him.

“Finally, I thought you’d never come over here.” The corner of his mouth quirks up into a smirk. A cute smirk. If you weren’t nervous already you certainly are now.

“Is there a reason I should have?” you ask tentatively.

“To say hi to me, I saw you staring.”

Oh. Fuck.

“Sorry, I-”

“It’s fine,” he laughs, “I almost came over earlier but figured I’d wait for you to talk to me.”

At that, a new surge of confidence overtakes you.

“Can I have your number?” you blurt out before your nerves can stop you.

“Yeah.”

You type it into your phone as he recites the numbers to you. Opening a ‘save contact’ page, you click the name field. Rather than save him as ‘cute coffee shop boy,’ you ask, “what’s your name?”

“Fucking seriously?” he groans, “nevermind.” 

Before you can say anything in return, he shoves past you and he’s out the door. You watch as his long hair swirls around him in the wind. 

Then he’s gone.

What just happened?

Over the next few days, you dwell on it more than you’d like to admit. Who is this mystery guy and why is he so angry with you? At first you were disappointed that someone so attractive is upset with you, but his irritability is off putting so you got over that fast. Now you’re just angry.

On your morning stops for coffee, he’s there every day. You’d never seen him here before but now he’s around constantly, glaring at you every time you enter. You’ve been taking your coffee to go lately just to avoid any awkwardness. 

This morning, you’ve had it. What right does he have to take one of your favorite places from you? You were here first. Also, it’s not like you did anything wrong. If he’s going to be grouchy, that’s on him.

“[y/n]” the barista calls out. You grab the ceramic mug before looking around for a spot.

This time, you’re the only two customers in here. Avoiding him and whatever temper he’s hiding today will be nearly impossible. Partially out of spite, you settle into a window seat directly facing him.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him roll his eyes. He’s hot, even when he’s staring daggers in your direction and you hate that you’re even having that thought. You try hard not to look at him, pretending to have some sudden interest in the condensation dripping down the window.

After twenty minutes pass without issue, you figure he got over it. Not quite.

“Have you figured it out yet?” he taunts from two tables away. 

“Figured what out?”

“Seriously?” he looks at you incredulously, “you really don't remember me?”

Remember him from where? You’d remember someone with cherry red eyes and long milky hair.

You stare at him inquisitively. He almost reminds you of your best friend growing up, it can’t be him though. Tenko died in a villain attack with his family years ago. Plus, he had darker hair and eyes. You’d remember, a photo of the two of you as kids is your lockscreen background.

“I’m sorry, I don’t.”

He looks more sad than angry as he turns his back to you and leaves again.

That night, you’re still thinking about it. It’s driving you crazy and you’d rather just be done with it. You decide to text him. Not like there’s anything to lose, right?

[you] Where do I know you from? [you] Can you just give me a hint? [cute angry coffee shop boy] I can’t believe you just forgot me like that, after everything. wtf [y/n]

You never gave him your name. Maybe he overheard it from the barista.

The two of you exist in the same space, not talking for the next few mornings. You’ve given up on thinking of where you could possibly have met him and he’s given up pushing you. Yet, he’s still here when surely there’s somewhere else he could be. 

Today, the shop is packed. The sound of ceramic clinking and low conversations drown out the lofi played in the background. You’re glad to find the one open chair in the place until you see who it’s next to. 

“I won’t bite, just fucking sit,” says the man who’s name you still don’t know. He pulls the chair out for you, not bothering to look up. 

You glance at the full mug you’re holding; you should have gotten it to go. Reluctantly, you sit. Pulling out your phone to read an article and ignoring him as much as you can. A few minutes later, the barista calls out your pastry order. You drop your phone on the table and make your way to the counter.

On the short walk back, you see your phone buzz on the table ahead. A head of white hair turns to the distraction and freezes.

You sit, trying to carry on with your morning, but the man next to you is still staring. He doesn’t move, even after you sit down. He looks like he saw a ghost.

“Thought you didn’t care,” he mumbles quietly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Do I really look that different now?” he picks up your phone, holding the display next to his face. 

Outside of the hair and eye color, the resemblance is uncanny. How did you not notice?

“T-Tenko?” you whisper, “you-you’re alive?”

No wonder he was upset, the two of you were best friends as kids. You never could have imagined seeing him again. Without thinking, you wrap your arms around him; practically jumping onto his lap. 

“I can’t believe it’s you,” you half sob into the hood of his sweatshirt. He even smells like you remember. 

The two of you spend the rest of the day catching up. In what feels like less than an hour, the place is empty and your favorite barista is flipping the ‘open’ sign to ‘closed.’

“Time to finish your drinks,” he says, “didn’t think I’d see you two talking all day.” He disappears into the back to finish cleaning.

Tenko looks at you, nervous for the first time since you’ve met him again. “Uhm,” he starts, “want to grab dinner? I get it if you already have plans and need to go but it would be nice to talk more.”

“No,” you clarify, “I mean, I have no plans. I’d love to.”

“Perfect,” he smiles, “it’s a date then.”

masterlist

[genderqueerdykes]

I'm lost, what do TMA and TME stand for?

good question. also relieved to hear that you're normal. they stand for "transmisogyny affected" and "transmisogyny exempt".

TMA is a stand-in for AMAB and TME is a stand-in for AFAB. they're not used in a constructive way. they're just used to exclude AFAB trans people and trans men from conversations. they're used to forcefully out someone for their AGAB and their gender identity so they can be mocked, bullied, misgendered and abused.

transmisogyny affected is definitely a thing. that is most people. but "transmisogyny exempt" doesn't really exist because the ways in which transmisogyny manifest can affect just about everyone ranging from cis women to cis men to trans men to intersex people. the implication that specific groups of people can never encounter transmisogyny no matter what is painfully inaccurate to how real life transphobia works. catch-all blanket statements don't work in these scenarios. transmisogyny doesn't exist in a vacuum where it never affects anyone but trans women and transfems.

transmisogyny is a specific type of transphobia, but it's used to hurt way more than just AMAB trans women. it gets weaponized against cis gay men, feminine cishet men, intersex people, trans men, cis women, especially cis women of color, nonbinary people, and so on. the term "transmisogyny exempt" doesn't need to exist, it's not a cohesive group of people. how do you even quantify that? like how would anyone know if someone else faces transmisogyny if they don't live in that person's shoes. where does transmisogyny end and become just stock standard transphobia?

how do you define a group of people based off of what they aren't?

they're weird intersexist bullshit terms created specifically for outing AFAB trans people and trans men in online queer spaces and setting them up for ridicule. that's the only reason they exist. they're dogshit. people will literally say "i hate TMEs" like that means something. in saying "TME" they mean "AFAB" or "Trans man/masc". but also, what the hell is that supposed to mean? nobody says "i hate lesbophobia exempts >:/" "i hate biphobia exempts >:/" "i hate intersexism exempts >:/" "i hate butchphobia exempts >:/" "i hate transandrophobia exempts >:/" like who the fuck talks like that? those things aren't categories. that's not quantifiable. it makes literally 0 sense

i hope that gives some insight. i can see how confusing this shit is. it's this weird chronically online lingo that's just being used to bully people and force them to expose their AGAB. it's very insideous and it sucks that people seriously think you can categorize people based off of experiences they don't have. that's not how real life works in the slightest. take care of yourself, don't let people sucker you into these weird ass terms. they're just here to separate and hurt people.

[gutsondisplay]

I think most TransHarmful people don't get "too" violent or put more pressure actually HAS a reason

If you weren't there back then, DIRECTLY after TransHarm was coined, there was a huge discourse around if it should be accepted or not, and a lot of people saw it as really bad (insert "this is why antis hate us!" Etc here)

Those who were transharmful had to chip and trim themselves so they "weren't ACTUALLY harmful!!", a large percent even going back at each other for being any modicum of appearing bad

It was seen as safe to be edgy, but never bad. and while maybe ironic to a lot of you who aren't specifically TransHarmful, but we feared being pushed out of our own community! And we really were back then!

Transharmfuls had to figure out how to not be seen as evil despite wanting to be like that, most had to water down themselves so they could be accepted, becoming the most passive and explainable identity we used to tell people who hated us

But no one ever let us know it was okay to be mean again, and it kinda seemed like when we *were* mean, it would hurt us in return

Cause when conabuse was made into a thing, people went out of their way AGAIN to tell TransHarmful people that they didn't belong! And that they were horrible in ways we didn't want to be seen as!

Cause idk if you know this, but there's a trans part of TransHarmful! Most of us didn't exactly have experience hurting others! Not in these kinds of ways!

And I think it's really REALLY fucking understated how much harm (ikik teehee) discourse around conabuse did to transharm people on both sides

Those who thought they had a connection they could have and use to get euphoria, now one side was really questioning if it was okay, was it even consent? Rethinking if someone's yes to you was actually a yes

If you have not had to second guess someone being honest with you about consent or boundaries before, you have no idea how bad that spiral can be

You could possibly lose all trust in that person being truthful about you being able to do whatever you agreed on, maybe even anyone to be truthful about those things, and if you go down enough you could possibly lose that for a fucking while to forever

And let's not forget the transharmed people here either!

Having people constantly going against you and saying your consent didn't matter because "that's not something you can consent to!" Is fucking horrible! People who talk like their "helping" you are taking away your consent more than someone you told was okay to do that to you

Parts get to you that it doesn't really matter what you actually say to them, maybe a lot of people, why didn't it matter what you said? Because it was something they wouldn't personally like?

If falls victim to the tactic used against all those who use transIDs that have perceived benefit ironically enough

People saying things like "you don't have to do this!", "you don't need to go through this to feel like you have enough pain to be a victim!", "I'll get you out of that!", "someone told you something wrong"

Etc etc. all just saying you don't get a choice because you want something "bad"

It'd be wonderful if it didn't get in the way

And now

Both sides of transharm don't exactly know how to exist, maybe they don't know this happened, maybe they don't know they can do more

But we should help them do what they want to do if they want help

I know there's some transharmfuls who really wanna go all out, go for it babe <3

[aviradasa]

The lost boys main HCs

Paul

Here are some paul hcs! I hope you enjoy! This is kinda short but i had fun writing it!

If you would like a part two going into more detail about him let me know. I'm gonna be responding to Dwayne's HCS, though. I hate the ones I posted. I'm also gonna be doing an HC/ one-shot series about each of the boys before they found each other/ became vampires, so stay tuned!!

Paul is a younger sibling. When he was alive he had 2 brothers and one twin sister.

He was 19 but going to turn 20 literally like a month before he died and despite how he acts he was the oldest when turned,

If you ask him his age though he will say 20 to fuck with you before pulling the “Nah I'm just joking” card and telling you he was only 19

He does that mostly cause he's a little upset he wasn't able to hold out at least another month, so he likes to say what he could have been, but he doesn't wanna lie about his age.

He hates liars.

He also keeps track of every birthday he and the other boys have had since they turned cause he doesn't want to lose track of the years. It kinda keeps him sane a bit.

On a less depressing note

He is also one of the sassiest assholes you will ever meet. He does not think before he speaks and honestly, he doesn't give a damn

I mean y'all hear him when he said the whole “ chill out girl 🙄😒” line you can't tell me he wasn't annoyed that star was ruining the fun

He also does not give a shit if he hurts someone's feeling with it especially if its someone he doesn't know or does not fuck with, he sees no point in trying to spare the feelings of anyone he doesn't care about

He can also be a bit flirty just in general as a joke or genuinely he is just like that and he dont care what gender it is he will make flirty jokes or comments regardless.🤣

He is an asshole, but he is quite loyal to the people he loves, surprisingly. But he loves them in his own way. Despite all the teasing, rude comments, cruel pranks, and injuries he may accidentally inflict, he doesn't fuck around with other people pulling that shit.

The definition of “nobody can bully my family or friends but me.”

He can be nice sometimes. It depends on whether he's fully sober or not, and then it depends on what he did.

Drunk = steer clear he's gonna say or do some stupid shit that could result in either a fight with somebody random or not,or you all dying.

Stoned = yeah, you have a better chance of seeing him nice with this one. But still, be careful cause high also results in hunger, so don't get bit. he does bite. Remember that.

He also relaxes better after smoking, so he might just sit his ass down for a while, maybe watch a movie.

He's not a TV guy though usually. he finds it hard to focus on shows and movies so he either likes to smoke before watching or else he has to pause it every 20 minutes to get up, walk around, and bitch about loopholes and plot points for a few minutes before he can sit back down and continue it.

He just kinda avoids them for those reasons. He's more of a music guy. Because then he can get up, bounce around, have fun, and not miss anything in the song cause he can do other shit while listening.

The music he likes is rock and heavy metal; I will admit, though, that he is the kinda person to pull the “Oh, you know (random band), then name 3 songs.”

“ (names 3 song)”.

“Oh shit cool, what's your favorite.”

He does that shit often, actually, but his saving grace is that if you know what your talking about, you now have a new friend to discuss your favorite bands with. 😭

He keeps his area of the cave a mess but he still knows where everything is. But it's not like a dirty mess; it's mostly just clutter.

He refuses to leave food containers or remains in his room overnight like he can not stand that shit if he's chilling out drawing or something, and he catches the lightest whiff of food smell from a container he finished off not even an hour ago he getting up and throwing it away.

Honestly, that goes for all the boys, to be fair. They don't care about being dirty themselves, but they don't want their spaces dirty if you get what I mean.

Also, he does not like people touching his stuff. Only a select few people can, and that is Laddie and the other boys maybe star once in awhile, and depending on whether you are a close friend or partner, you can, but everybody has to ask unless he says to grab it for him.

He just doesn't want his shit moved cause he's worried he won't be able to find it.

He's not worried about shit being broken cause he will just fix it. Unless it's CDs or records that he can't fix, he will be severely pissed.

But one specific thing you don't under any circumstance touch, grab or even breathe too close to is his sister's old music box. If that gets broken, he will kill you, no questions asked, and he won't feel bad about it, NOBODY would want to/ have the ability to stop him at that moment, so just please don't touch it.

Other than that, he doesn't care. He likes having people come to his space to hang out and keep him company. He also likes showing off all the cool shit he has.

Oh, and the him killing you thing reminds me.

He is scary as fuck when he kills/feeds cause his style is extremely animalistic. He doesn't just tear flesh away or rip a limb or two. He fucking MAULS his kills to the point that if you see the aftermath, you genuinely wonder if it was ever a human or not.

His kills are quick, violent, messy, and sadistic. Cause he genuinely does enjoy the kill, probably more than feeding.

He's an adrenaline junkie, a daredevil, and anything in between, so when it is time, he will find a target, and to be fair, he likes a good chase. So he will probably grab somebody, and when they fight back, he will purposely let them go and give them a head start so he can chase them down just to make the mauling more fun.

When he's done feeding, he is most of the time covered in blood, dirt, leaves, sand, sticks, you name it, and it's probably on him.

He cleans up as best he can before going back onto the boardwalk or heading into town of course. But if they have a late feeding and they have to get back to the cave in a hurry before sunrise. He will stay like that until the next day.

But by the time he wakes up, he hates the feeling of the stuff stuck to him, so he cleans up quickly just so he doesn't have to be uncomfortable lmao.

Anyway, that's it for now. He's just a funny, sarcastic, sadistic, flirty asshole. But we love him. Cause he's Paul.

[fanfoolishness]

Ooh 5 letters between two of your OC’s companions about them?

Thank you for this codex ask! I have sat on it for weeks but today is the day. Gotta distract myself from them fires amirite? :-D These are for Asla Mercar.

---

Harding: Hope you're doing okay after the whole 'found an angry rock version of yourself' thing. You seem happier. That's good. But if you're not you know where to find me if you wanna smash shit. I'd be pissed about all that stuff if I was a dwarf. Also congrats on you and Rook. She keeps walking around looking all giddy. It's cute. Taash

--

Dear Taash, Who told you about me and Rook??? Also, thank you. It was overwhelming to feel all of that pain and rage from the Titans, but I think I'm coming to terms with it. I still feel connected to everything, but I feel so much lighter. Does that make sense? Like there's a way forward now, where I can remember the past without being bowed down by it. Seriously though, did Emmrich say something? Harding

--

Harding: It wasn't Emmrich. Remember my sense of smell? Comes in handy for stuff like this. And I won't tell anyone if you don't want. I get it. Sometimes you wanna keep stuff just for yourself for a while. You two are good together. I can see she really cares about you. When we were checking out the Warden fortress with Davrin in Rivain she kept talking about you. "Lace would think this is so neat. Look at all this old stonework!" "I wonder if Lace's magic would work here." "I could really go for a ham and jam slam right now." She smiles way more when she talks about you. Glad you're feeling better. The stone magic is badass. We should see if we can power it up with dragonfire or something. Better ask Emmrich about that too. Taash

--

Dear Taash, Okay fine, yes, Rook and I are seeing each other. I have to be careful because my magic keeps almost giving her lyrium poisoning when we -- um -- try to be... affectionate? Ugh, that sounds bad. But when I get excited, or emotional, it just sort of comes out! Last time she was dizzy for an hour. That's the only reason I asked Emmrich about it. I mean, I certainly know how to do things under normal circumstances. She said all that about me? Stop it, you're making me blush. She's just the best, isn't she? I know everything is so hard right now, and the world keeps trying to end, and she's carrying all of that on her shoulders, but I'm just so happy right now. After losing Varric, and everything I've learned about the Titans... I can look into her eyes (did you know they're two different colors? Green and hazel? They're so pretty!) and just be Lace. And it helps. She helps. I asked Emmrich about dragonfire and stone magic. He said neither's really his area of expertise, but based on what he's observed, he recommended finding somewhere with a LOT of open space just in case everything explodes. Let's try it! Maybe the arena at the Hall of Valor? Harding

--

Harding: You're on. I'll have Isabela set up a match. Drinks at the Hilt after? You can invite Rook to join us too. I bet she'll cheer you on. Sorry stuff's been hard. But I'm glad it's getting better even if the world's messed up. Now let's go blow something up. Taash

[nikist-4-n]

ANNOUNCEMENT PART 3

Basically I went to discord to discuss it with dodo ( well tried )

And while I I was explaining why I was here and apologising for anyone getting involved ( I only spoke in public cuz after I spoke to dodo I wanted to speak to the rest cuz they spoke trash about me ) Saraah MUTED me so I went to Insta to talk to to her about it

And I told her not to apologize cuz I she can do what she wants, I don't want an apology just cuz it makes me happy I need u to tell me urself

And I while I was gone dodo said THIS about me

I was SOOOO MAD cuz HOW DARE she even say something like that. When I met dodo she was still named dodofiles and Zhan(?) and Sarah were still there she had less than 100 followers I promoted her as a good friend would do and now she's saying such stuff about me ( and I'm sorry if I sounded mean to @fairytopea I was trying to tell u that I wasn't speaking to u I came there for specific ppl but u can't really say that nicely)

And for some reason she blocked me ?

Im really sorry if I sounded mean to some ppl but it's get to a point

She literally went on my anon to defend herself to the point I closed it

[marinettesaltprompts]

Prompt by @kawaiichibiart Here's a prompt based off my favorite fanfics to read, groupchats

Marinette Salt, canon divergence:

It starts off simple, Ladybug makes a groupchat (gc for short; also this won't be brought up, but the gc does work on their civilian phones as well) for her, Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, Carapace and Queen Bee. They use the gc to talk, keeping things vague when it's about their civilian life, and to alert each other of akuma attacks.

It's all fun and games until Ladybug starts training to be the Guardian. She starts to keep more secrets and Chat Noir doesn't like being left in the dark for no reason and wants to know why she's being more secretive. Ultimately, this divides the team and as people join, they're either on Ladybug's side or they aren't.

The majority of them side with Ladybug.

The one's who don't, don't side with Chat Noir, but decide to remain neutral.

As time passes, the team gets closer and they have a system worked out.

And then Miracle Queen happens. Chloe is kicked out of the gc. Ladybug becomes the Guardian and digs her heels in deeper about the secrets she's keeping.

She becomes more snappish at everyone, yelling at them for goofing off in the chat, making the decision that the chat is for professional use only now. They had their fun, it was time to be serious. If they had a problem, she'll fire them the same way she did Chloe.

Whenever someone brings up the fact she looks more tired, more stressed, she'll retort that she'd be less tired and stressed if they were actually good teammates.

Eventually, one of them, probably Rena, probably Pegasus, makes a new gc for everyone but Ladybug. And, without a feeling of remorse, the first thing Chat Noir says is "You know, I can see why we should let Ladybug keep all those secrets, it's not like not sharing them is hurting anyone, oh wait!! 😒"

Yeah...they deserved that.

They use the second chat to have fun, still keeping things vague about their secret IDs, and to talk about how to help Ladybug.

But no matter what they do, Ladybug won't budge. The team that had once been nearly fully on her side, was now pulling away from her. She wasn't the same Ladybug. She was stricter. She held team meetings where all she did was reprimand them for not following her plans.

And anytime they bring up that maybe should tell someone at least some of the secrets she's holding, because clearly since she began keeping them she's become more and more irritated, she'll just tell them to mind their business and holds their miraculous against them, reminding them she can take it away whenever she wanted.

So, when the day comes she loses all but hers and Chat Noir's miraculous, none of them feel bad for her.

Because I don't go fully into what diverges from canon above:

• Marinette doesn't tell Alya she's Ladybug, and thus doesn't make her a permanent holder.

• She still gives Alya her miraculous when she has to leave for a while, but she ends up doing it by pulling Alya away while she's on her way to the park. In short, she throws the responsibility into Alya's hands.

• Adrien does quit temporarily, becoming Catwalker, before going back to being Chat Noir. Because he and all the temps. are repairing their bond after what had happened in the first gc, he does tell them why he quit as best as he can (feeling like he wasn't seen as Ladybug's equal, the secrets, wondering if he even had a place on the team anymore, what happened on the roof, etc.).

• Everyone definitely notices when Ladybug gives Flairmidable her full attention. And it looks so familiar to them, they just can't tell how or why.

• Unlike at the end of S4, Chat Noir isn't as forgiving with Ladybug. He'll still help her, but he doesn't forgive her.

• This part is something I'm not sure I want to happen, but I'm including it anyways incase someone wants to make it happen: she does end up losing her miraculous. Su Han finds out what happened and sees her unfit to be Ladybug or the Guardian, so he takes her miraculous (and jsyk, she doesn't lose her memories. She didn't quit or name someone else as Guardian, she was fired, so her memories are still there)

• while the first chat dies down, the second, surprisingly, is still up and going. They're not going to question it, logic left a long time ago. They're just happy they can still talk to each other.

[beef-brisket]

((Whoops, this may have dragged a bit.

Uh... here! Lore!

))

Sitting in one of Adam's limos, Lucifer looked at the city as they got driven around the main street of the lust ring.

The city was beautiful in a way. It was unlike anything Lucifer had ever seen. The only thing more interesting was the people walking around.

They had leathery wings and thin tails. Most were different shades of red but others were more pink.

Adam: They are my demons~. Succubi and incubi. My darling sex demons.

Lucifer: Wow.... they... look beautiful. All of them.

Adam laughed: Of course they do! I made them, after all.

Lucifer: A-All of them?

Adam: Hm... no. Not all of them. I made forty-six, and they took it from there.

Lucifer nodded, a strip of bars catching his eye. The flashing lights were blinding but captivating, and the demons that stood outside were alluring in a way that he's never experienced. Most of them were either having a smoke and a drink or chatting with other demons. They weren't doing anything sexy or perverted but they were still drawing him in.

Adam: Aren't you happy we left your little one at home? I don't want to taint her. Yet. She'll live in this Ring, I'm sure she'll make plenty of friends.

Lucifer was silent for a moment. That's right, Charlie. His sweetheart. Growing up in a... sex realm.

Lucifer: When... when she's older, right?

Adam laughed: Of course! The Lust Ring isn't about... THAT. Lust is... consensual. Both or all parties must be willing to truly enjoy lust and what it has to offer... anything taken by force is not lust. Young ones will explore when they are ready, no sooner. And anyone who says otherwise will answer to me. And trust me, Lu. They won't enjoy it.

Lucifer smiled and nodded. He had grown up hearing the worst things about lust and how devastating a sin it is. How it makes people do horrible things. But Adam's right. Only when everyone wants it is it considered lust.

Lucifer: I... my teachers said that lust makes reasonable people in high-ranking positions do the unthinkable...

Adam scoffed: Let me guess, godly school?

Lucifer nodded.

Adam: I thought so. Those priests talk about righteousness and the purity of Heaven. They stand there like their God incarnat. Most of them are worse than the devil. Taking advantage of those who depend on them. Who trust them. It's sick. It's not lust.

Lucifer: Their worse than the Devil? THEE Devil?

Adam nods: Samael is... an interesting one, to say the least. But trust me when I say all the descriptions of him are wrong. The only thing they got right was that he looked like a goat.

Lucifer: He's not... evil?

Adam: Evil is a harsh word. He's more... troubled. He tries, but of course, even those who try can fall short. I will give him this. He never gives up. Even when he's struggling. Most wouldn't understand most of the sins, anyway. Seeing as they are all fallen angels. But... I understand. Not wanting to go on, but you do. You make one mistake, and then you're cursed for the rest of eternity.

Lucifer looked at Adam, concerned: What do you mean? You're not a fallen angel?

Adam: ...Well... in a way. I was an angel. I was in charge of the creation of the stars of music. Heaven demanded something beautiful, so I gave them an endless universe and music that would vibrate through their very souls. But, as humanity took off, I was then made to guide someone.

Lucifer: Who? One of the first humans?

Adam smiled softly: Not exactly. She was a child of theirs. Seren. She was losing her way, leaving the path of God. The first man, Evan, tried to keep her caged, but she didn't want to listen. Her mother wanted her to act obedient to her father and brothers. But she refused. The other archangels sent me to guide her. But... I quickly fell for her. And she fell for me. I gave her the freedom she craved, and in return, to keep us secret, she would listen to her family. But, we weren't careful, and she became pregnant.

Lucifer listened intently. He's heard many tails from the bible, but there was nothing like this.

Adam: Heaven found out, then her parents... her family sacrificed her. Her father was determined to receive forgiveness from Heaven, and anyone who fell out of line was either cast out... or bleed dry for God.

Lucifer: ...What happened to your child?

Adam: ...They made me slaughter it. In the river that would soon flood. The angels said the blood from an innocent would make the humans land fertile... but the child bled golden ichor.

Adam shifted and smiled at Lucifer, fighting off the solemn look on his face.

Adam: That's when they found out it was me. I was the father. And trust me, darling. They weren't happy. They blamed me for leading her further from God, that I lusted after a daughter of the first humans. I wasted a good womb. Tainted it. So, they banished me. To Hell. I fell and landed here. There wasn't much of a ring at the time, so as I clawed my way out of the dirt, I dug all the way to the Ring of Pride. How? I have no idea, I had dirt in my eyes after all! Or maybe they were burnt out? Who knows.

Lucifer: I... but- you have eyes- beautiful golden ones. I don't think they were burnt out.

Adam laughed: How sweet of you to say! Everything heals down here, Luci. My eyes eventually started working. The first people I saw were Samael and Lilith. I... had never met her when she was made, nor had I met Samael before his fall. I was still fledgling at the time, after all.

Lucifer nodded and looked back out the cars window, his eyes focusing in the lust demons.

Lucifer: ...How were they made?

Adam: ...I was lonely once Samael took me back to my Ring. And once my new power came to me, the first thing that came to my mind was my child. The one I wronged. So, with my daughter mind, I created the first being to walk my Ring. Thalassa.

Lucifer: ...That's a beautiful name... did you birth her?

Adam: ...of course I did. My siblings made me cut our child out of her... carrying Thalassa was the least I could do to repay her...

I am CRAVING some demon nun!Adam right now!

Help me, Things! 😫😫😫

Okay, I can help you.

*Cracks knuckles*

What about Demon Nun Adam x Human Priest Lucifer. Like maybe he's losing his faith a bit but is sticking with it for his father.

And Adam is the new "nun"