#and there's a reason i don't talk about that to anyone. even on here (the oversharing website) lmao.

[mariasont]

maria's fic recs

i have realized how most of these are smut & idk what that says about me but alas this are some super super amazing talented people who write crazy cool stories!!!! check them out!!!!! make sure to follow, reblog & comment on these fics if you like them!!! these incredible fic writers deserve it! i will also probably be adding more as i read follow my fic rec page for more @mariasficrecs if anyone mentioned in this post wants to be removed let me know <3

spencer reid

cedar - @parfaitblogs summary: in which compatible bodies does not always mean compatible minds, but spencer reid is all too kind when you're like this, so perhaps you're allowed to forget that for a night. 

this is the fic for the girlies who have loved someone more than they should, more than they loved you back and more than was every healthy. this is the kind of fic that makes you reread certain lines just to punch yourself in the chest a second time. masterpiece in pining, delusion, and tragic devotion. the most gorgeous piece of writing truthfully

in my dream im fixing your crutch - @notlongtolove summary: most nights, spencer wakes to the sound of your sniffles—unlike most nights, he doesn’t have to ask why. the reason is visceral, tangible—staining the sheets when the wound dressing wasn’t tight enough, seeping and pooling right between the both of you where an ocean of your guilt already lies.

this and everythingggg p writes is so incredibly SHATTERING in the best way possible. i truly need everyone to follow rn! and reader everything written by them! but this one specifically wasn't just a fic it was an experience. it's so painful and beautiful and so unfairly written. the duality of intimacy and violence is insaneeeeee like shakespearean level.

into the rose garden; for evermore - @notlongtolove summary: months of hope, weeks of ache. you’ve stayed. you’ve waited. you’ve stayed in the waiting. more pathetic than poetic if you’re being honest. but now, with him standing here with his heart in his hands, it doesn’t feel simple.

might be my favorite fic ive ever read if im being honest. everything about it had me sobbing like a baby. it's not even angst at this point it's a biblical reckoning. p has made heartbreak into a single character, personified pain and i felt every freaking piece of it actually! every single line was freaking perfection & you get to choose your ending!!!!!!! because user notlongtolove is so cool and so creative.

i can do a lot with fifteen minutes - @reidrum summary: in which you and spencer don't make it out the door on date night

i love a sabrina reference (clearly) and this was just the perfect smut fic literally like poetry disguised as desire. i have read a lot of smut (u got me). but nothing compares to a good intimate zipper scene. i will eat it up everytime!!!!!!! and a mirror scene!!!!! double whammy. fantastic 10000/10

hypothalamus - @reidrum summary: in which spencer gets creative on helping you study for your exam

godddddds to have spencer reid talk nerdy to me in bed. so in character. essentially the anatomy lesson of the gods actually. so amazing

sobriquet - @siriuslylantsov summary: spencer reacts to you calling him a nickname for the first time.

so sweet, so fluffy, a love letter to everything good in the world, essentially love seeping into mundane which is my favorite genre!!!! waking up with spencer!! being in love!! angel!!!! i love spencer calling the reader angel girl!!!!! <3

sweeter - @siriuslylantsov summary: in which, you and spencer try out foodplay, through use of whipped cream.

whipped cream!!!!!!!!! i dont have many words other than that! must read

white noise - @brattyspence summary: spencer x reader -- a situationship defined by white noise; a metaphor for how we pacify ourselves and make stupid decisions to experience comfort, even when it hurts

visceral, soul-shattering, gut wrenching agony. that's about it. slow burn destruction that will have you crying. no doubt. this fic literally lulls you into a false sense of security and then u realize that spencer is white noise and that you'd rather have whatever this is than nothing at all. LOL! definitely did not almost kill me while reading. most accurate portrayal of a situationship

chateau lobby #4 - @burymagdalene summary: Whilst trying to navigate romantic relationships after prison, Spencer finds himself in love and caught in an all-too-serious non-relationship with reader. Wanting to break this streak, he asks to spend Valentine's Day properly with a real date. Afterward, they find themselves desperate with trying to express their love for each other.

so as you might be able to tell i have a pattern of reading situationship spence! call me a masochist! but this one had a happy ending okay!!!!!!!! and a reference to father john misty? yes. immediately. i also just love post prison reid because he's so complicated and different but still him and he doesnt think he deserves soft things and soft love and it's so devastating. reading the date literally felt like falling in love in real time. so good.

a closed mouth doesn't get fed - @burymagdalene summary: When reader notices Spencers dark circles and glossy eyes, they store away their pressing need for him in bed. This desire locked away forms into a wet dream that escalates their prior expectations substantially.

one of the best portrayals of sleep-deprived, love-drunk, desperate sex. that's it. that's the tweet. also when he switches the reader's straw like why was that so sweet to me im crying

xoxo - @pathologicalreid summary: in which your daughter goes to the BAU to hand out her extra Valentines

peak domesticity. i love girl dad spence so much it's not even funny. it's everything he deserves. like i can only hope in some alternate au this is the ending reid got <3

to talk is to bare - @esote-rika summary: three times you've never felt enough for Spencer Reid—and the three times he rectified it immediately

one of the most painfully real depiction of navigating self worth in a relationship with spencer. like exactly what i feel like it would be like to be with someone so brilliant and like so unattainable-seeming, while feeling ordinary and yet spencer makes the reader feel so special ugh

in infinite universes - @nereidprinc3ss summary: in which spencer reid picks up uni!reader from a party. you're drunk, and he's in love with you

there is not a single thing (cannot emphasize this enough) that i won't read from nereidprinc3ss okay? everything she writes is actually literary gold. but this one was so beautiful it almost hurts to reid because it's literally a love letter to inevitability!!!!! and the dialogue is so funny and flirty and so spencer and ugh it's so raw and real.

spencer reid & aaron hotchner

unknown territory - @minswriting Spencer walks in on Aaron going down on you. So he watches the two of you have sex.

had to take multiple breathers after reading this! everyone knows i love hotch and reid and even more so i loveeeee a why choose. also everything min writes is so hot, 10/10 recommend checking out her account. "reid, if you're going to stand there and watch, you can at least come in and close the door" hello????????? immediately yes.

aaron hotchner

crazy - @kimstills summary: after one heated and spontaneous night together, aaron can’t seem to get his pretty subordinate (or her pussy) out of his head.

i did in fact read this bad boy like three times because it's that good. it perfectly mirrors hotch's mental state which i love love love. and i just love a smutty fic that has the best escalation of tension, like it builds until hotch physically cannot take it anymore and shewwwww so hot. exactly what i want in a hotch smut fic

savor - @kimstills summary: after being compromised to working a case the next day, aaron decides on savoring your current moment together for when he’s gone.

maddie is just always going to make the hottest aaron hotchner smut. the fact that this idea comes to aaron mid fuck is wild and i love it LOL.

morphine - @luveline summary: you get a good dose, confess your affections, and leave poor, oblivious hotch to fix things up neatly. 

so if you follow my fic rec blog you know i literally reblog absolutely everything jade writes because it is just that fantastic. and this one is just soooo tender and so perfectly in character with hotch. if you are looking for truly amazing characterizations of hotch and reid !!!!! right here besties !!!!

filthy flat-pack thoughts - @alinathinkstoomuch summary: you had taken the day off to get yourself settled into your new apartment, not expecting hotch to show up at your door and offer a hand.

hey so firstly im just obsessed with the title, idk why it scratches something in my brain. and i feel like this fic should be illegal because it's not just smut-adjacent, it's foreplay with no touching, sexual frustration in furniture assembly and poor decisions lolol and again everyone who knows me knows i eat upppppp sexual tension and this fic was just that. there is literally no kisses no sex nothing and it's still one of the hottest fics i've ever read (there is also a smutty part two so go check that out as well)

can't lose when i'm with you - @aureatelys summary: You work as a beverage cart girl at your local country club and your dad ropes you in to make him look good during a business meeting with his new best friend.

dbf hotch is my weakness. the slow burn!!!!!! possessive hotch!!! daddy hotch!!!! this is the gold standard for dbf hotch truly. felt like i needed a cigarette after and i don't even smoke

red light kiss - @aureatelys summary: You haven't had sex in a week, you're stuck in the car with your new boyfriend/boss, and he's wearing that damn Kevlar vest. How could you resist?

hey yeah so i was positively feral after reading this actually. that damn kevlar vest is right. idk how you managed to make a blowjob in a government vehicle feel romantic but you did so bravo

tyrant - @solardrop summary: Hotch lets you take some anger out on him after he disrespects you on a case.

my favorite genre !!!!!!! making hotch shut up by sitting on his face! mhm mhm mhm. absolutely amazing use of free will was you writing this because i've read it at least 5 times minimum. i was forever changed after this

salt & pepper - @dudeitiskarev summary: dad bod and insecure Hotch. That’s it.

everything cat writes is just so crazy good but everyone knows i have such a weakness for dad bod hotch & this is the absolute perfect fic for it.

we can't be friends (wait for your love) - @cerisereids summary: down on your luck after a huge betrayal, you return to live at your father's house with your tail between your legs. you're humiliated, thoroughly convinced nothing good could come from returning home. then you meet aaron hotchner.

there are three parts to this masterpiece and i need everyone to read them all okay? because it's just so good. hotch flustered is my roman empire and grrrrrr this man was literally on his knees for the reader internally through out the whole thing & once again dbf!hotch!!!!! arghhh obsessed

[starrysturns]

when a pirate meets a princess

matt’s eyes were on you as soon as you entered the tavern. his brothers and crew celebrating their latest rendezvous, another ship stolen and traded for an insurmountable amount of money. they were doing good, but not good enough. 

he thought he was foolish for the idea that had popped up into his head, you were looking for passage through the sea. he knew that unfulfilled look all too well. it was common in the princesses and princes he would help throughout his many years of traveling. 

he could hear nick’s voice in his head telling him how bad of an idea this is, but he pushed it down as he got up from his seat, the sounds of his crew getting farther away as he sauntered over to you, pulling out his flask and undoing the top, “y’know-” his voice rang through your ears, making you turn and look at him which gave him a perfect view of your face that confirmed his suspicions.

atlas, matt was never wrong, you were in fact the princess. score! “the stuff they have here isn't exactly delicious. it’s bitter and cheap.” he hummed, his voice smooth like honey. he gestured towards his flask, “this right here? rum. from the best kingdom you could get it from.” he was stupid or a genius. trying to start up a conversation with what would be his latest catch. but he knew what you were here for and he had to get going with his plan somehow.

you were pretty. luscious hair, beautiful eyes, dressed in a cloak that did nothing to make you fit in- it was a material only the royals had access too. it almost made him snort at how poor your disguise was and how oblivious everyone in the tavern was to it. 

“thanks. but i’m not looking for..um.. drinks.” your voice wasn't like any he’s heard before, but your response was. 

a grin spread across his lips, “oh that i know. so what do you want? hm?” he asked, “shouldn't you be kissing babies or throwing tea parties?” he took a seat across from you, grabbing a glass and pouring the liquid of his flask into it. he brought the glass to his lips, his eyes meeting yours.

“kissing babies?” you questioned, your eyes doing more speaking than your words had. oh you were naive, he liked that. 

“isn't that what princesses do? kiss newborns and talk to squirrels?” He asked, his lips quirked into a smirk as he downed his drink, pushing the glass to the side. 

your eyes went wide as he had brought up your status, you had tried your hardest to hide and failed. your mouth was open, sputtering as you tried to get a defense out. “relax princess-” he snorted, “i’m not gonna tell.” he shrugged. a moment of silence passed between the both of you. your gaze down at your delicate hands as you fiddled with the string of your cloak- you were hesitant. matt could sense your next words before you even said them. 

“i just need a ride across to the neighboring kingdom. i don’t care how much.” oh, it was music to his ears. he had to stop the giddy feeling that rose in his chest, this was getting to be too easy.

“any price huh?” his eyes didn't leave yours, even though your nervous gaze fell everywhere but his own. 

“within reason, of course.”  

he pretended to think about it, well to you he did think, to himself his mind was made up. 

“we leave in 10. don't tell anyone. my ship-” he paused, pointing out the window over his shoulder making the rings you just noticed gleam under the dim light of the tavern, “is the red one, best ship in town.” his smirk was devilishly handsome on his face. your eyes on him as you listened to him talk. he was gorgeous. 

you gave him a nod, getting up from where you were sitting and walking out of the tavern. all matt could do was let his gaze travel after you. matt didn't feel bad for you at all, you were just in the wrong place, maybe at the right time. 

his plan was working perfectly, all he had to do was have one of his men discreetly follow you out and stage an accident. shouldn't be too hard.

“boys!” matt singsonged, walking over to his crew and slamming his hands on the table, making everyone go quiet. “I’ve just gotten us a job of a lifetime.” he ignored everyone's questioning glances and “whats?” being mumbled. “see, there was a little lady in here. sad and depressed, a feeling of unfulfillment in her gaze. letting her down would've been so hard on my soul and you lot know i’m a gentleman.” he hummed, his smirk growing as he locked eyes with his brothers. 

nick, their captain, rolled his eyes, “you’re supposed to run this by me fir-” matt cut him off, waving his hand, “and let the girl down? not a chance nicky.” 

there was an unspoken agreement between nick and matt, one that made nick drop his head with a defeated scoff, beckoning his crew to move closer so no one else would hear, “we do this job quick. get her, then the money and come back.” he ordered. 

matt couldn't help the giddy feeling in his chest, his smirk turning into something more of a smile as he turned to face a crew member,, “you’re catching her, hunter.” 

“that's not my name.” he grumbled out, downing his drink before standing up, he was tall and scrawny, “where was she last?” he asked, taking out what they called fairy dust from his satchel. 

“she walked out, heading towards the pier- probably taking the alley.” all matt got was a nod from the man before he walked out.

nick stood up from the table, all eyes returning to him, “stop looking at me and move!” he ordered, easily taking back on his role of a stern captain. 

as the pirates loaded back onto their ship, you found yourself walking towards the pier. the misty cold air making your cheeks pink and hold yourself with your arms as a sort of barrier from the cold. 

you let out a huff of air as you walked, the alley was dark and mysterious, that much you knew. you could hear the droplets from the rain falling off the huts and lamp posts near you, accompanied with footsteps that weren't your own. you didn't think much of it- probably someone walking home.

but the footsteps grew louder and louder against the stoned floor, “y’know a little lady like you should not be out at this time of night. it’s dangerous in these parts of town.” 

you ignored his words- so it wasn't someone going home late at night- but you were fine, all you had to do was get to the ship and maybe the man you had met earlier would be there and you could take off.

“that's the pirate docks ya know.” you weren't sure how the voice ended up right behind you. you could feel the steady breathing of the guy behind you.

you were rooted to where you stood in fear. 

“pirate docks?” You breathed out, your voice shaky as he finally came into your view. “yeah.” he said, like it was just some sort of common knowledge. “all the pirates load up their ships there, stealing imported goods or worse.” he hummed, finally the face was visible to you- and you recognized exactly who you were speaking to. you took a small step back, swallowing deeply as your eyes met his. 

in front of you stood the most feared huntsman in your kingdom, the saint laurent cowboy. your parents said he had been caught but here he was in front of you.

the last thing you were able to see was his hat coming off, “really sorry about this pretty, but business is business.” he said before blowing the powder right at you. 

it worked in an instant, you were out cold as soon as it hit your nose. the huntsman threw you over his shoulder before you could hit the ground. 

.︎

as you regained consciousness all you could hear was a bunch of muffled hushed words. your ears ringing as your tried to open your eyes only to be met with three of the same guy from the tavern? okay, so you were hallucinating, no biggie. 

“MATT YOU DIDN’T SAY IT WAS THE FUCKING PRINCESS!” were the first words you could actually process, your vision still dotty like glitter as you stared at the men in front of you. it was like someone had cloned them. each a copy of another, but having a difference. the one who had just spoken, had a harsher look to his features, his cheekbones like they could slice through even the strongest fabric of your dresses. 

matt, you assumed, was the man from earlier in the tavern. he had a smirk on his lips, like he couldn't care less about the situation you were in, he was standing in front of, well whoever the speaker was, “oh really? i hadn't noticed nick.” okay, so the speaker was nick. brilliant.

as your vision came back your eyes locked with the same blue ones they once had done earlier only these were different, softer and more playful. 

“guys. she’s awake.” he spoke, his voice a lot softer against the other twos as he cut off their conversation. Unlike the others he was more untamed, hair sticking out from under his rusty orange bandana. his eye patched flipped up to reveal a scar that looked dangerous. he was sitting on the desk in front of you, your arms bound behind you with a rope.

“um-” You spoke, your voice rough from having been put under sleep. 

“look sweetie- this is all a misunderstanding. we’ll send you back home-” 

“no we won't!” matt cutt off nick, grabbing his arm so nick would look at him instead of you.

“are you fucking crazy matt?! do you know what kind of trouble we could get in?” nick’s voice overpowered matt’s. you could tell that nick was in charge just by how he carried himself, or maybe second in command. you didn't know. “guys!” the third one had called out, “maybe let’s not discuss this in front of her, yeah?” his eyes were on you, squinting as he looked you over a few times, “let’s leave matt to talk to her and we’ll go tell the others, ‘kay nick?”

nick grumbled, rolling his eyes as he dragged his brother out by the scruff of his shirt, muttering words you couldn't understand. 

your eyes found matt who looked a little too smug for your liking. you didn't know what to say- you had trusted him only to end up kidnapped by him and his weird lookalike pirate crew. matt was leaning against the desk, his eyes on you like he was studying you.

“you got a name princess?” his voice broke your seething silence, and if you could slap him- you would. “you can call me darling.” you responded.

“right. i get the feeling that's not your real name.” matt snickered. “no it’s not- but i don't really think you deserve my name.” 

matt was amused, even though in your little situation you still had enough snark. he was almost glad to know you weren't just a naive princess. “aww cmon, a little rude don't you think? i’m offering you the passage of a lifetime.” 

“offering?” you huffed, “all you want is money. besides your offer in the tavern is how i got here.”

“mmm that's not my offer, well, it wasn't all of it. i did agree to take you somewhere, i just never said where or how.” he shrugged. the way matt spoke infuriated you. like you were supposed to know this would happen. matt found you adorable, your eyebrows furrowed and pink lips in a little pout once his words had processed in your head. 

“i thought all pirates either had a peg leg or hook.”

okay, scratch that. not only were you not listening to him but you were gonna be an annoying stowaway. a scoff left his lips as he rolled his eyes, pushing off the desk he was leaning on and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“and i thought all princesses had a talking animal glued to their side.” he rebutted, making your brows furrow more. “no.” you answered. 

“hmm. alright.” matt hummed, before moving behind you, cutting through the ropes tied around your legs before pulling you up with the ties around your wrist. 

he was so close you could feel his breath on your neck, “look darlin’, you could make this easy for both of us, or hard just for you. that choice is yours. but i’m telling you now, the last person to make my life hard ended up walking the plank. got it?” you looked at him from over your shoulder, swallowing deeply before giving him a quick nod in response.

“good girl.” he opened the door, pulling you out and onto the deck of the ship. the light hit your sensitive eyes, making you squint as you tried to take in your surroundings. 

“aye aye, captain.” was all you could hear echoing from the pirates that were crowded around nick and the other one you didn't get the name of. amongst the crowd you saw the huntsman who knocked you out whispering to some girl that made her laugh quietly. you were relieved to see it wasn't just a ship full of men and that there was a girl here too, it brought you a sense of peace. 

“well get going!” nick’s voice boomed, making everyone suddenly get back to what they were doing. he made his way over to you and matt, his glare set on you. “chris will show you to where you’ll sleep.” he grabbed the boy by his shirt, pulling him in front of you. it was the same one from earlier in the little room you assumed was the captain's headquarters. his eye patch flipped down and covering his eye. 

“not willingly.” chris grumbled, which made you giggle under your breath before covering it up with a cough. but you caught matt’s side eye he sent you at the slight shake of your shoulders.

the way matt was handling you was rough and hurt, you truly meant nothing to these pirates. he practically pushed you into chris. chris muttering something you didn't quite understand. he was a bit more gentle with you, but his rough hands on your skin made you feel uneasy. 

this predicament you were in was totally your fault for trying to get away, and now you were being held captive by a couple of blood thirsty, money hungry pirates. 

“don't worry princess. as long as we get our money soon you’ll be back picking daisies and singing songs.” chris’ words brought you out of your trance. he pushed you into the room. it wasn't spacious like the ones you were used to, you were at the bottom of their ship with boxes, the only thing close to cushioning being a pillow and a thin sheet.

“make yourself at home.” he said, before slamming the door behind him. leaving you alone and to your thoughts. 

t︎his was sm fun to write, i hope whoever reads will love this au as much as i do <3

[mendessi]

things i say when you sleep | chapter nine

multi chapter bodhi durran x fem!oc

word count: 5k

chapter summary: Without Bodhi, Ania navigates her new signet with the help of Xaden. It's Reunification Day. What could go wrong?

tags: slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, canon typical violence, mentions of death, she falls first he falls harder, majority canon compliant, some canon deviance, eventual smut, angst with a happy ending, additional tags to be added

AO3 masterlist

seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven

He says it like a bad thing. 

The sour taste that's in my mouth is hard to swallow as I slowly crawl off of him. 

However the second he says it, things become clear to me. 

"You say it like it's a bad thing," I repeat the words, out loud this time. I'm not sure I can hide the hurt in my voice. My heart feels like it's in my stomach when he won't look at me.

"It's a death sentence. You can't tell anyone," He whispers. 

Xaden told me to find him if it manifested. He was the reason it manifested and now he was pulling away. 

"I didn't know I was until just now," I wrap my arms around myself feeling small, "You can't even be sure I am."

An inntinnsic. Out of all the second signets in the world, the one I manifested is a fucking death sentence. 

He stands up from the bed, and I cannot help but grab his arm. Please don't pull away.

"Where are you going?" My voice cracks and the sadness filling my chest is enough to rattle the furniture in my room. 

"I can't be around you right now," He says and I sit up on my knees. 

"Wait, please," I plead, "I-I didn't mean to. I'm sorry, Bodhi. Please, I won't do it again." 

It was an accident. I didn't mean to do it. I would never push my feelings onto him. Especially not something like desire. I didn't know it was something I could do. 

"I have to go," He pulls himself from my grip and I can't stop the tears that spill from my eyes. 

The lights in my room burn brighter and I don't flinch when they eventually burst. There are too many emotions swimming in my head but I know that they're all mine. 

An empath is what he called me. I've never heard of it before but I'm not stupid enough not to realize that it's a form of inntinnsic. 

Guilt sinks in and I regret kissing him. These were my emotions. 

This is what I get for letting him in. For allowing myself to think that I could find a semblance of happiness here. Months of back and forth, shutting him and Xaden out, and the second I'm fully ready to trust this is what happens. 

He's afraid to be around me now. Afraid that I'll push my feelings onto him again. Maybe I am better off dead with Carr snapping my neck. There's a reason signets like this are a capital offense. 

I ignore my better judgment when I crawl from my bed and leave my room. I can't stand the idea of being alone right now, but I also don't know who to go to. I feel like this is a girl issue but Violet hates me right now for a reason I'm unaware of and Rhiannon is on Violet's side always. I'm not chasing after Bodhi and I refuse to bother Xaden right now.

It takes me several moments to knock on the door when I finally stop outside of it and when I do a few more for who it belongs to to open it. 

"Ania," Ridoc says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "You okay?"

The tears have yet to cease and I'm sure I look like a disaster, "Can I please stay here tonight?" 

He looks me over once, the look in his eyes softening when he sees that I'm crying, "Of course." 

He crawls back into bed and lifts the covers for me and I slide in next to him. Respectfully, he leaves space between us.  

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks softly. 

I contemplate how I could even tell him why I'm crying without revealing something that'll get me killed if he decides to tell anyone else.

"Does it have to do with Bodhi? I saw you leave the flight field with him," He continues. "Do I have to kill him?"

He manages to get a small laugh out of me and I sigh softly when he reaches out the brush the tears from my cheeks. 

"I trusted him and I shouldn't have," I whisper. 

"Did he hurt you?" He asks and moves to sit up, but I put my hand on his shoulder to make him lay back down.

"Not like that," I shake my head. 

"Because we can get the whole squad together and take him out," Ridoc says and I laugh again. "I'm serious." 

"I know you are," I say, pulling the blanket up to my chin. "Thank you."

"You're not gonna try to kiss me again are you?" He asks and I punch his shoulder. 

"Don't act like you didn't like it," I laugh. 

"You hit too hard to be playful," He groans and I can see him holding his shoulder in the moonlight that illuminates his room.

"I wasn't being playful," I smile, wiping the last of my tears. "Can we go to bed now?"

Without another word, he rolls over and is snoring within minutes. 

After a night of fighting Ridoc to share the blanket, he's the one who gently slaps me awake. 

"I don't want to go," I groan. Despite not sleeping much last night, it did give me time to think about the revelation of my new signet.

Knowing that there's a chance I'll see Bodhi in formation hurts and I don't want the reminder of how he pulled away from my touch last night. 

"We can pretend to be sick," Ridoc offers as he pulls his tunic over his head. "Come on, you need to get dressed."

"We have maneuvers later and I will not have you rot in bed at the fault of a man," Gleigeal says and I know he's right. I can't hide in my room all day.

Flying will make me feel so much better, regardless of whether I see Bodhi or not. I'm appreciative that Gleigeal gave me the space I needed last night to process everything, but now I have questions. 

"Am I inntinnsic?" I ask. 

"That's to be determined," He replies and I glare at the wall I'm staring at. 

"That's not an answer," I roll my eyes. 

"You will have the answers you desire soon, Ania," Gleigeal says. "Until then, I'm closing the channel."

Ridoc sits on my bed while I get dressed and I half expect Bodhi to come knocking on the door. Violet, Sawyer, and Rhi are standing outside of her door, whispering amongst each other when they see Ridoc and I exit my room. I can't be bothered by what they're thinking at this point. 

After Battle Brief, we're headed to the flight field when Xaden appears.

"Wingleader," Dain says and I know he's fighting the urge to clench his fists, "What can I help you with."

"I'm pulling Cadet Alistair from maneuvers today," Xaden says and I immediately glance at Violet, who tightens her jaw. 

Great.

"Right," Dain says and nods turning to face me, "Cadet Alistair, you're released."

I try to ignore the way my squad looks at me as I fall in line with Xaden's step. He leads me to his room and I know that we're about to have a conversation about last night. Good to know that Bodhi immediately ran to his cousin after leaving me alone. 

"Did he tell you?" I ask as I sit on his bed. I know we'll be in here for a while. 

"He told me what he thinks happened. The accusation alone is enough to get you killed," He says, "I want to hear it from your perspective." 

"I thought about it last night," I say and he pulls up a chair to sit in front of me. "If he's right, then it manifested when the light did. Or maybe even before. I initially thought I was the one projecting my feelings, but I don't think that's true." 

"Walk me through it," He leans back in the chair, one leg propped up on the other. 

"Trust the wingleader," Gleigeal says. "He wouldn't let anyone lay a finger on you for what you are." 

"So I am one then?" I say down the bond. 

"I didn't say that," My dragon has a sense of humor that I'm not particularly fond of. 

"When I manifested the light, I could feel his fear. I had my own of course, but he felt different. It kind of," I look for the words, raising my hand to my chest, "Seeped into my chest. Became one with mine." 

"You felt it molding into one?" He asks, his brows furrowed in concentration as he listens intently. 

"Yes and again last night. I wanted what was happening. But I could feel that he did too." I say. "At the moment, it was hard to dictate what was mine, but after thinking about it, the strands are different before they entangle." 

"You absorbed his emotions and made them your own," He says and I nod.

"At one point, I think I subconsciously knew what was happening, because I pushed a thought outward and his anxiety disappeared for a moment," I explain, trying to recall every single moment. 

"Interesting," He nods. 

"He realized before I did and when he said it, it kind of made sense," I shrug my shoulders, fiddling with my shoelace now. I try to halt the rejection building in my chest, "He left like he was afraid of me."  

Xaden clears his throat and leans forward, "He wasn't afraid of you. He was afraid of what'll happen to you if anyone finds out." 

They'll kill me, I know. I don't want to say it out loud. 

"I'm gonna help you control it, Ania. I won't let this be your downfall," He says and I nod. 

Xaden and I spend the day in his room and Gleigeal cracks the channel open a tiny bit to practice sorting emotions. 

"The biggest concern is that you take in too many emotions at once and combust, but you've gotten this far without having that issue, so I think we're in the clear there," Xaden says.

My eyes are closed and I'm sitting in the Riorson House library, watching the tendrils of Gleigeal's crimson power filter in through the window. 

"Choose a color for your emotions so you know that they're yours. Everyone else's can be a different color," His voice sounds distant when I'm here. "What do you feel right now?"

"I feel mellow, I guess?" The mage lights in the library shift to a deep green color. 

"I'm going to think on something and I want you to try and pick up on it," He says and I can hear his footsteps pacing back and forth slowly. 

The library around me stays the same and I wait patiently to feel something. The sparks of Gleigeal's pattern brighten and I can feel him opening the channel further. 

"Are you doing-"

My chest warms and I have to force myself to breathe after an overwhelming feeling settles over me. My fingers tingle and my heart rate picks up. The subtle feeling of fear laces with the warmth and my brows furrow. It's strong and I look around the library to try and find where it's coming from. 

On one of the tables in the center of the library, under the evergreen lights, sits a book open to a page. As I approach the table, the feeling grows stronger. Small golden fibrils sprout from the pages, swirling around one another until they meet the green light from the mage lights. 

I reach my finger out slowly, touching the golden strings and the feeling is immense.

It feels like home and finding your person after what feels like an eternity of searching. It's the hesitation before the first kiss. It's the unimaginable terror of losing everything in the process. The weight of responsibility you feel to ensure nothing will ever happen to those you love. It's unimaginably beautiful and equally terrifying. 

"Cut it off," Xaden says and I do just that. I slowly close the book watching as the fibrils crawl back down into the page. 

"What were you thinking about?" I ask once I open my eyes, but I think I know the answer. 

He takes a beat and then sits back in the chair. 

"Violet," I say softly. 

His silence is the confirmation I need and I nod my head. 

"That feeling," I pause and purse my lips, "I feel it too." 

He nods his head and we sit in a comfortable silence for a moment. 

"I trust that he'd take care of you," Xaden says finally, "Which is why I'm not bashing his head through a wall." 

A breathy laugh falls off my lips and I look out the window, "Still protective as ever."

"It's the only way I can ensure everyone I care about is safe," Xaden says and I lock eyes with him. He cares about me.

"It aches sometimes, you know?" I shift the subject back to the original conversation. It's hard for him to talk about these things, I don't want to push it.  

"Oh, I know," He sighs. "It'll sort itself out, little Alistair. Just give it time." 

I'm not ready to fully admit it to myself, so I don't. But Xaden has caught on. 

I don't ask him how he knows how to handle my signet, but I think I know. Something tells me that we might have it in common. I don't think he's exactly like me, but I think we'd both be killed if anyone found out.

"We'll meet as often as we can before I leave to try and get it a hundred percent under control," Xaden says when we stop in front of my door. 

"Thank you for today," I say, looking up at him. 

"Anytime, Ania," The tiniest smile etches on his lips, and then he's off.  

When he's out of my line of sight, I see Violet and Rhiannon coming down the hall. They're whispering to each other, I'm sure about Xaden once again outside my room. And pulling me from maneuvers. He's pulled her plenty of times, but I know it's an issue when it comes to me. Because today, I got a glimpse into Xaden's head. She'll talk to me when she's ready, but I consider going to her first. I don't have it in my today, drained from training with Xaden so I seclude myself in my room. 

Xaden's been helping me twice a week when he can, even if that means occasionally pulling me from class. I can now clearly decipher which emotions belong to me and which are foreign. I've even worked on pushing my own emotions onto him, which is much harder and takes a world of concentration, but he's confident with more practice I'll be able to perfect it. 

He's leaving in ten days and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to miss him. He's like Beckett in so many ways and I wish he were still here to see it. If he hadn't been here to help me train my signet, I don't know what I would've done. 

Today of all days is brutal for me every single year. It's been six years since my entire world went to shit.

Six years of no Aretia. No Riorson House. No Mom and Dad. No Beckett. 

The book is open in the Riorson House library as I walk through the corridors toward Battle Brief. 

As I pass several marked ones, I'm met with a plethora of feelings. Anger, sadness, and grief are among those most prevalent. I allow it to melt into my chest, merging into one with my own grief. This day is so different to us that have relics on our arms. I can feel the change in tone when I finally take my seat in the Battle Brief room. 

I look around and Xaden catches my eye. He gives a small nod and I return it. I feel his also joining everyone else's settling in my chest. As I turn back to the front of the room, my eyes land on Bodhi.

We haven't spoken since that night the empathy manifested and I don't know if that's on my accord or his. 

"Why is it you're choosing to torture yourself with the anguish of others," Gleigeal asks. 

"It's not just theirs. It's mine too," I reply, tearing my gaze from Bodhi's. 

"Do not make me close the channel," He threatens. "And stop with the longing looks at the one who betrayed you."

"Betrayed is an extremely strong word," I fire back. "Also, 'longing looks'?" 

Gleigeal chuffs, "I do not take it lightly that he stranded you that night." 

Yeah, me either. I also don't take it lightly that we're not speaking at the moment. I'm not really speaking to anyone at the moment. I see my squadmates in class and for maneuvers, but unless I'm honing my signet with Xaden, I'm locked away in my room. Ridoc stops in every couple of nights to check in on me, but other than that, I've distanced myself from them again. 

The strand that I know is Xaden's shifts to a slightly different color, and I look around the room. Violet, who's sitting next to me seems to be lost in thought. I let her strand join the others and immediately release it when I feel the frustration. Are they arguing right now? She glances at me and I fix my sight back on Devera, though I'm not paying attention. My suspicion is confirmed when Xaden says her name loud and clear. 

It's wrong of me, I know. I shouldn't be in their business, but I was just curious. It will not happen again, I can assure you. 

Ridoc and Liam are sitting in my room- handsome as ever, later that night while I get ready for the Reunification Day celebration hosted by the King. I didn't think before I agreed to attend, but Liam somehow convinced me. Xaden insisted that I didn't have to go, but I'd feel bad leaving Liam as the only marked one there.

I had tried to let Ridoc braid my hair but all I got instead was a big knot that hurt to brush out. Liam took over, saying he learned how to on his little sister, Sloane, who'd be coming into the quadrant next year. Like Xaden, Bodhi, and I, he was separated from her. 

The dress I'm wearing is floor-length, with a slit running up my right leg, that stops just below my hip bone. It hugs my body nicely and I actually take a moment to admire my curves in the mirror. 

"You look hot," Ridoc says, earning a glare from me, "If I don't score with the healers, my door will be open tonight."

"In your dreams," I scoff, earning a laugh from him and Liam.

"Don't be fooled, Liam. Did Ania ever tell you about the time she ki-"

"Ridoc!" I scold him using my lesser magic to swing the door open. "Out!"

"I'm gonna go get a head start on making way with the healers," Ridoc winked before he exited my room, leaving a snickering Liam and I.

"I don't see you much anymore," Liam said after a few minutes of silence, "Everything okay?"

I shrug my shoulders as I look at my reflection in the mirror, "It's fine." 

"If you want, we could meet up to train like we used to. Xaden kind of took over Violet duty so I have a little more time," He says with a small smile. 

"Yeah, that would be nice," I force a smile, but I feel the tendrils of his sadness merging into my own. "It's really kind of you to join Violet tonight."

He shrugs his shoulders this time, "It's better than being sad and alone in my room." 

"I think that's why I'm going too," I say as I stand up. 

"You look beautiful, Ania," Liam says as he pulls my sash over my head and adjusts it.

"Not too bad yourself, Liam," I smile and link my arm with his when he offers it. 

We exit my room and jog to catch up to the rest of our squad. 

"You two clean up nice," I tease as we approach Violet and Rhiannon. 

"Look at the two of you," Rhi teases, "If looks could kill."

"Violet," I give her a small smile. She looks stunning with her hair in an intricate arrangement and her dress fits her beautifully. I want to compliment her, but I don't know if it would fall flat.

"Hey, Ania." She nods in my direction and I awkwardly pull myself from Liam's arm with a sigh. 

As we approach the courtyard, the music grows louder and louder. It's easy to forget other quadrants exist outside of the riders, but seeing the cream, light blue, and navy swimming amongst each other reminds me quickly. I'm walking behind Ridoc, Violet, and Rhiannon when it feels like a weight is thrown into the center of my chest. It knocks the air from my lungs and I have to hold the wall to steady myself. I reach for Liam's arm and he turns quickly to support me. 

"I- I don't want to be here," I say just above my breath. I'm confused as to where this feeling came from. I had been excited to have a night with my squad, but now I want nothing more than to sit under a cold shower and catch my breath.

"Do you want me to go with you?" He asks and I shake my head rapidly. 

"Stay with Violet," I say, pulling away from him.

"I need you," I call out. 

"Meet me in the field," He replies. 

My hands shake as I walk away from the party and back toward the Riders Quadrant. 

As I'm passing through the courtyard, I can feel the fibrils from the book sprouting more and more out of control. It's too much. I took on too much for the day and I shouldn't have. Someone grabs my arm and I turn around pulling away quickly. 

"What's wrong?" It's Garrick. I feel a pang of guilt for the way I'm about to ignore him.

"I'm going somewhere," I say as I back away from him. Xaden's strand shines a little brighter and I glance toward the opening of the Parapet where Garrick seems to be standing guard. 

"Ania, wait," He calls out as I continue my path toward the field. He doesn't try to come after me and I'm thankful for it.

"I told you not to smother yourself with the misery of those around you," Gleigeal scolds and I finally cry out as I see him landing in the center of the field. 

He lays his body completely flat and rests his head on the ground as I fall to my knees next to him. 

"Ground yourself, Ania," He says with a gust of steam that blows my hair back.

I dig my nails into the grass, as a sob racks my chest. I let myself lean against his leg and close my eyes as I put myself in the Riorson House library. 

The fibrils growing out of the book are out of control, a rainbow that shakes and rattles, each color dancing with the other. I reach for it, trying to slam it shut. It takes every ounce of my mental strength to slam it closed as a scream rips through my throat. 

My chest hurts as I try to catch my breath. I let myself fully collapse against my dragon. My cheek is flush with the grass and Gleigeal nudges my back with his nose. 

"Breathe," He urges. 

I do as he says, taking a deep breath as I focus on how the soft grass feels between my fingers. My fingertips and palms glow against the blades of greenery and I close my eyes again.

"I understand you miss your family, especially today," He starts, "But if you risk your life again to take on the grief of your peers again, I will not be as kind about it."

My head bobs in understanding and I let my eyes close. 

"I wonder if Beckett were here, would he be yours instead," I say out loud. 

"Regardless of whether he was here or not, I knew that you were destined to be my rider long before you came into the quadrant," He says. 

"You would like Beckett," I say softly. "He wanted to do what was right. It's what got him killed." 

"To my understanding, I think I would have not minded his presence," He says and I laugh lightly. That's the closest I'll get to his agreement on this subject. 

Gleigeal sits with me for I don't know how long. He lets me talk his ear off, occasionally responding to me. I tell him about Aretia and my parents. I speak of Beckett more than anything. And of our childhood spent at Riorson House. Most of all, I'm grateful that he's here for me. 

A grumble resonates in his chest and he swivels his head towards the top of the flight field.

"Someone approaches," He says lowly. "The one who betrayed you." 

"He didn't betray me," I roll my eyes, not even bothering to stand up.

"Ani," He slows his jog and looks down at me, "Garrick told me he saw you come out here, but he didn't want to bother you-"

"Because he could probably tell I didn't want to be bothered," I cross my arms over my chest. 

"Let's go inside," He offers me his hand. 

I glance up at him with a scowl, "Are you sure you want to do that?" 

"Please," He says softly. 

"This will be the only time I agree with him. It is past my bedtime and sleep beckons me," Gleigeal says standing up. He barely gives me any time before he launches upward into the sky. 

"I'll remember this later," I mumble down our bond. 

Bodhi and I walk side by side, but I keep a distance between us. The memory of him pulling away from my touch sticks with me and I don't wish to relive it. I follow him mindlessly, focused on several different couples wandering around with each other, likely heading back to their rooms. A sigh leaves my lips and a part of me wishes I had stayed at the party. Maybe I would've found someone to bring back to my room or maybe I would've ended up in Ridoc's bed again.

"Can we talk? Please?" He asks as we stand in the courtyard. Either I say yes and go with him, or we part ways and I go back to my room. Xaden says that once he's gone, I'll be able to start helping Bodhi with the drops, which means a lot more time spent with him. Talking to him is probably the right thing to do if I want to avoid future awkwardness.

I do miss him. We were right on track to being okay again and then I went and fucked it all up. And ever since it happened, I can't stop thinking about how his lips felt against mine. 

"Sure," I finally say. 

He leads me back to his room and opens the door. He holds his hand out and I glance between his hand and face.

"Xaden warded my room. I have to pull you through." He says. 

I hesitate before I place my hand in his and allow him to pull me through. 

He gestures to his bed and I take a seat. I look around his room and it reminds me of Xaden's, just smaller. Maybe Bodhi will be a wingleader and get moved to a larger room. 

He stands against the door, biting the inside of his cheeks. He's thinking about what to say and I wonder if I should be the first to talk. I've put my shields up so that I don't accidentally read him, or let him think I've read him or whatever it was that went wrong the night of the start of War Games. 

"I'm sorry-"

"I just wanted to say-"

We both start and I bite back a laugh. 

"I'm sorry that I left you that night," He finishes. 

Shaking my head, I look down at my hands as I cross one leg over the other, "I should be the one apologizing."

"No," He says, "I left you. That is ridiculously unacceptable on my part. Regardless of how I felt, I thought I was helping by leaving." 

Finding the right words is hard. I want to explain to him that I would never intentionally put my emotions onto him. I would never intentionally read him without his permission. There is so much to say but the words just won't come out. 

"Please say something, Ani," his words are so quiet, if I were any further away I wouldn't have heard them. 

"I understand why you left," I tell him, "I didn't mean to do what I did. Or whatever you think I did." 

"What are you talking about?" He asks, stepping forward. 

I rise to my feet, "I didn't push my emotions onto you. I wouldn't do that, Bodhi. But I understand that you left because-"

"No, no. Ani, what you felt were my emotions. That's why I left." He holds my gaze and I shake my head. "I didn't want you acting on what I wanted."

"Bodhi, you're not listening," I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, "That's not what happened."

"If you want me to beg for forgiveness, I will." He's on his knees in front of me within a second and my heart nearly stops. "But please don't shut me out again."

"Bodhi," It comes out as a whisper, "You don't understand." 

"If you want me to grovel, I will. I will ask for it every day until I graduate." His voice matches mine, his hands ghosting over my thighs like he's stopping himself from touching me. 

"What happened that night was both of us. Feeding off of each other," I say to him quietly, "I didn't push onto you, nor did you push onto me,"

I trail my finger against his jawline and then brush the curls off his forehead. The way his eyes scan my face nearly sends me into a spiral. 

"Ani-" I shake my head and brush my thumb against his bottom lip. His lips part and he breathes out and I'm at a loss for words at the sight before me.

Bodhi Durran is on his knees in front of me. 

"My shields are up. I'm not using my signet." I cup his jaw in my hand and lean down letting our noses touch. "Yet, I still want you all the same." 

He swallows and allows himself to finally touch my thighs. His fingers trail up the slit in my dress and he tilts his head up to brush his lips against mine, but I pull away slightly. 

"This fucking dress," He groans and he lets his lips brush against my upper thigh, right where the slit ends and my breath hitches. 

"Look at me," I choke back a whine when he presses a trail of kisses from my knee back to my upper thigh. 

"Ani this dress," He whispers against my skin and I have to pull his chin to look up at me. "I will never get over this dress."

"Then take it off." 

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[moonydustx]

Hiiii!! I love your writing and was wondering if you’re still accepting requests? If so could I have one where reader is dressed in a similar outfit to Nami’s purple Zou outfit and there’s a big party happening and reader gets self conscious bc no ones talking to her during said party so she leaves to go back to her room that has a balcony and as she’s staring down at the party Law comes in to see why she left so she like tells him she feels ridiculous in her outfit and it turns out that Law was jealous that other people got to see her in such an outfit because he likes her so much that he was staring people down so no one would take her attention and he confesses how he feels under the stars on the balcony? and maybe there’s smut🤭🤭🤭 You can skip this request if you want!! I know i wrote a lot 😅

hello, anyone there?

Sorry for the delay in responding to your request and sort of answering your question, yes, I still accept requests, but I've been working kind of 10 hour days + responsibilities at home, which hasn't given me much time to write.

I made some small adjustments to your suggestion, I honestly hope you don't hate me.

•••

my reach

info: what sensations can a pirate life bring? After a victory, a celebration can mean many things.

warnings: text not proofread, will possibly have some errors as English isn't my first language. a kittle bit angst, F!reader have some insecurities, smut, doing in open skies, a little dirty talk.

For those who haven't reached Zou, this is the reference dress.

You didn't know what was echoing louder at that moment: the drunken voices, the singing or your thoughts. It was a party, you should have been happy or at least a little confident.

After so many fights and disputes, the alliance between the pirates had finally worked out and apparently you would finally have some time of peace. What didn't need many more reasons than this for Luffy, captain of one of the allied crews, to suggest a huge banquet, a party that would probably last for days and no one would question it. The good thing about having other crews together was that the reduced number of women - in the heart pirates it was the large number of two, you and Ikkaku - increased, even if not so radically, just enough to fill the fingers of one hand.

"You really didn't like it?" Nami turned you in front of a mirror, forcing you to look at yourself once more. "It suits you so much."

"I think it looks amazing." Robin added with a simple smile. "And it's a banquet between friends, there's nothing to worry about."

"I agree, but after being so stressed with so many events, I think we deserve a more dressed-up day." Nami added, adjusting one of the straps on your dress. "And also a little alcohol, a little flirting, seriously, being a pirate can't be just that and besides there are so many different people here."

"But don't you think it's a bit much?" Your voice wavered a little and you had to dodge the pillow Ikkaku threw in your direction.

"Don't listen to her. We've been underwater for so long and in our uniforms that I think she's lost her common sense."

"Don't talk nonsense." You shot back, laughing. "Okay, a little alcohol won't hurt." About the flirting part, you don't know how safe you would feel with that.

The main deck of the ship was something almost impossible to cross. Some people walked around each other, singing songs that were almost impossible to decipher, others toasted and competed over how many mugs they could down at once. You just went with the flow, keeping up with the others' hurried steps.

It wasn't long before a drink occupied your hand and you got lost in some almost frivolous conversations. The stress you had recently experienced seemed to prevent everyone from thinking about anything more serious and, to be honest, not even you wanted to get caught up in problems at that moment.

"Ladies." Sanji's voice came across the entire space, in his hand some appetizers and you tried hard to ignore the fact that he was almost drooling. "You are the most beautiful thing my eyes have ever seen, I would write poems about you..."

In a somewhat strange juggling act, you saw him try to balance the tray in one hand and, with the other, twist to alternate between your colleague's hands, placing a kiss on each of them. Except for you, to whom he just smiled in your direction and headed in the opposite direction. Even staring at the other women present, that seemed like a common situation so you allowed yourself to ignore it.

With an almost lame excuse, your feet took you to the other side of the ship, where you could see your captain's sullen face while being disturbed by other crewmates.

"A good victory." You raised your glass, toasting first to Shachi, then Penguin and finally Law, who seemed to be immersed in something inside his own mind.

"Look, I don't think we've ever seen you so..." Shachi couldn't finish speaking before getting elbowed by his crewmate.

"Are you enjoying the party?" Law asked as soon as the two left with some excuse that you didn't try to understand what it was about.

"Yes, as much as possible."

You even thought about commenting on how you had become an outcast, even though in the hours before you had been trying hard to achieve the exact opposite result. However, for a flash, you were sure that Law was analyzing you. From top to bottom, inch by inch.

"Is there a problem, Captain?" A smile filled your lips as you saw him startled as he was pulled out of his own mind.

"Dresses. You don't usually wear them." He seemed lost in his own words. "It looks..."

Beautiful? Interesting? God, the milliseconds of waiting before Law finished speaking seemed like a small infinity of possibilities in your mind. A place where he had a certain captive vacancy, but he wouldn't even dream of it.

"It looks different." He pointed out and you could only nod.

Different. Okay, it's not the worst answer but it's far from a good one. The relationship between the captain and the subordinate of the two of you was intrinsically... different. Strangely comfortable, uncomfortably distant. He would always prefer to discuss some decisions with you and to the jealousy filled with tantrums and laughter of some, he would insist that you were the best cook of the crew. On your side, you loved ask him for tips, from books to medicines, and whenever possible, you would insist on having him stitch you up after some battles. You hated scars and he was the only one who could prevent them. It was a different relationship, he occupied a somewhat different place in you, but that didn't need to be exposed.

Apparently, if the efforts to look even minimally pretty that night didn't affect him, it wouldn't make any difference anymore. With an almost invisible smile on your lips, you just nodded and left him there. You started talking to some, laughed with others, but it didn't seem to work. From the idea of ​​alcohol and flirting, apparently only the first part was working. Heavens, Brook hadn't even asked about the color of your panties.

Luckily, keeping the ships close to each other meant that it wasn't difficult for you to reach the empty deck of the Polar Tang. The sound of the party was getting a little more distant. The full moon illuminated the entire night and, in addition to reflecting on the sea, created an almost distorted shadow of your body. Was that what you were then? You let your hand run over your dress, analyzing every stitch. Nothing was out of place, nothing seemed wrong with the outfit. The problem must be you.

"I would invest a good amount of berries for your thoughts." Law's voice startled you, which made him laugh. "Did you need some time to breathe?"

"Yeah, I guess so." You leaned against the edge of the deck, drowning in your own frustrations.

"I still have some berries to invest." He tried to lighten the mood, leaning against your side. "I know my crew too well. What happened?"

"It's just... is that all there is to a pirate's life?" You turned around, frustrated. "Tonight I wanted to feel something different from all the stress we have. Something more interesting than the smell of gunpowder, than the sting of a blade."

"I think there's enough booze there for you to feel much more than that."

"It's not that, Law. Geez, I dressed in a way I've never dressed before. Makeup, heels, perfume and still, I'm an outcast." you said frustrated and saw a smirk escape his lips. "Man, this isn't funny. I mean, not even Brook cared about my panties?"

"About that..." he began, his fingers adjusting his hat that wasn't out of place, just like a nervous tic. "Maybe someone threatened to throw him into the sea before he could even speak."

"What do you mean?"

"And maybe I told Sanji that if he got close to you his balls would sink to the bottom of the sea too. And maybe I said something similar to Killer, but he's more rational so he didn't need that much of a threat. And I definitely punched Kid."

"You punched Kid?"

"He said some really disgusting things." Law spoke with a frighteningly ordinary naturalness.

However, for you none of that was ordinary. You just stood there, still, watching the little confessions that came out of Law's lips. So he had pushed you away from everyone? That wouldn't make any sense. Unless...

"Apparently I was brave enough to do all that, but I've been a coward in hiding what I feel. You don't look any different, you look beautiful and I can guarantee that I wasn't the only one who thought that."

"You just made sure I didn't know that, right?"

"Sorry." he commented still in a frustrated tone, but taking a few steps enough to stop in front of you. "I like you, I really do. It got to a point where I found myself reading more books just to know what to recommend to you, I found myself hating being a doctor because I have to stitch you up every time you get into a fight at the same time I wouldn't let anyone touch you for that." He sighed deeply. The short distance between the two of you made your fingers itch to hug him. "What you said makes sense, we're pirates, we shouldn't only feel war inside us."

"What else can we feel then?"

Your lips touched before his hands even reached your waist. It was hard to know what had given you goosebumps more: the cold wind against your bare skin, the way your body was leaning against the edge of the deck, making you imminent of falling, or the way he had advanced on you. Definitely the third option.

His tongue began to invade your space, tracing delicious routes through your mouth, a fight for space that you had no interest in winning. His hands traced your curves until they rested on your waist. Whoever invented the theory that two bodies occupied the same place would probably be a good spectator for the way the two of you snuggled together.

Law seemed to have no shortage of air since, when he gave you space to breathe, his lips simply slid to the hollow of your neck. Wet kisses mixed with small grunts that would be marked on your skin, drawn like a map just for him, just for Law.

His eyes met yours as his kisses continued towards the neckline of your dress. A loud request - but still silent - to explore you beyond where his lips could reach at that moment.

"We could go somewhere else." You suggested breathlessly and saw him bury his face in your breasts, sighing deeply. "I really don't plan on being naked here."

"Naked? Nah." Without even hesitating, he supported you on the edge of the deck, preventing you from falling towards the sea by slipping into the gap between your legs. "I've been looking at you in that dress for too long to want to see you without it now."

"You've been looking?"

"Tell me, wasn't that exactly why you put it on?" An involuntary sigh escaped your lips when one of his hands slid down the inside of your thigh. "You drive me insane normally, but this... do you want to know what I thought?"

The question was rhetorical since beyond the moonlight, lust illuminated the eyes of the man tied to you. A moan escaped your lips as his fingers trailed over the damp fabric between your legs.

"Shh, we need to be discreet, okay? Can you be a good girl and stay quiet?" His fingers intensified the pressure, small circles under the damp fabric sending your mind into a spiral. "I promise to take you inside, let you make all the noise you want. And then I'll leave you naked, have all my time just for you."

"What if I want to stay here?" The question sounded like a challenge and you could have sworn that behind the fabric of his pants something had pulsed. "You still haven't told me what you thought, about the dress."

"What I thought..." he gently pulled you down from the support and turned you back to him. Your body automatically leaned forward, seeking contact. "The first idea that came to mind was you like this, on my table. All beautiful ready for me."

His hands adjusted the fabric of your dress so that it was to the side. His nimble fingers traced an indecipherable pattern on the skin of your ass, outlining the thin fabric of your panties.

"May I..." He asked, still circling the piece and saw you nod. With a delicacy unfamiliar to you, you felt him pull the fabric aside.

"Fuck." The word came out of his lips involuntarily. The sight made him hungrier than any dish he had seen at the banquet.

"What else did you think?" You asked, hearing the sound of his zipper.

"You're smart, I believe you know very well what I thought."

Silent kisses ran down your exposed back. The cold night breeze made contact with your damp skin, causing shivers. The first touch of his cock against your pussy elicited a shy moan from you as his teeth scraped your skin, whispering a shh once more, even though thrusting inside you had forced him to press his face against the back of your neck. The almost inaudible sounds that escaped your lips were enough for Law to almost explode right there.

He should have stopped being a coward before. It was only the first time and he didn't know how he could consider staying without feeling you.

"I'm sorry." He said, moving slowly. "You deserved better than the deck of a submarine."

"We're under the stars. Do you want something even better?" You said breathlessly, stretching your hand to reach his dark strands of hair. Law practically put his head under your hand, sinking into your neck. "Law!"

"I told you princess, no noise." He thrust harder, watching you press your lips together and hold back another moan. "Such a good girl, my good girl."

"A p-princess, huh?"

"My princess, yes. All dressed up like that I couldn't think of anything better." You barely understood how he could form a coherent thought while he was thrusting torturously and deliciously inside you. "I could call it an angel too. The way this beautiful pussy is squeezing me is definitely divine." His laugh at your moan sounded almost devilish, however.

The thrusts began to intensify and you pulled his hand that was holding your torso to cover your mouth, vainly containing the moans that escaped. You could already be clawing at the stars when you felt him pulling out of you. An almost drastic fall from the sky you were in.

"I want to look at you, beautiful thing." He turned you around to face him, lifting you up again. "I want to see that beautiful face when you cum."

"Then come back here now." You locked your legs around him, feeling his delicious invasion of you.

His lips once again took yours, just as voracious - if not even more so - than the first time. His coming and going grew louder and louder as he felt your voice vibrate against his. Moans being censored by each other.

"Hold on to me." He pulled away just enough to ask and you readily complied.

The abyss was getting closer and closer, the knot in your belly getting tighter and tighter. You stuck your body to his at first for fear of falling, but each time it became even more of a need to merge. Your screams hid in the small gap between the two of you, your skin would surely be sore at the slightest since his teeth dug in there as he filled you with his seed.

"I think..." he supported you back, still holding your waist with one hand. With the other, he lifted the shirt he was wearing. Both your eyes and his were guided to where your bodies joined. "We made a bit of a mess."

"A bit?" Your finger caught some of your mixed cum, bringing it to your own lips. "Delicious mess."

"Keep it up and you won't be coming back to the party." A light laugh escaped him as he heard you grunt as he pulled out of you. "On second thought, we don't need to go back."

"Law, you're the captain of one of the crews that was more than essential to the conquest."

"Well, that's a good idea." He said as he adjusted his own clothes and then repeated the gesture with yours. "Some clueless people will be able to know that you are out of their reach."

"Am I?"

"If your captain says so, I believe you should agree." He pointed out.

Your hands comforted his cheeks, smoothing every inch you could touch. A calm, almost chaste kiss escaped you. Anyone who saw from afar would imagine it was just a simple kiss and would not even be able to consider what you were doing a short time ago.

"I - I mean, I really want to keep you out of their reach. Only within my reach." That was it, in so much time as captain and subordinate, you had never seen Law look so nervous.

"Sounds like a good plan to me, captain. However, I hope it is reciprocal." He nodded, stealing another kiss from you.

Going back to the party seemed different. As soon as Law led you back to the ship, you let go of each other's hands, a small agreement of secrecy silently negotiated between you. However, you could feel him in you, in unconventional - and delicious - ways. Occasionally, you could feel his gaze burning in your direction, with distant care.

"Can I talk to you?" Zoro's voice startled you before you even noticed his hand on your waist. "Would you like to have a drink somewhere more private?"

"I'm drinking..." You pointed to the mug in your hand, but it took you a few seconds to fully understand what he was saying. "Oh, no. I mean, thank you, but no. I'm accompanied."

"Accompanied? So your captain finally stopped being a wimp?" Zoro saw and glanced sideways, not surprised to see that whatever Robin was talking to Law about seemed like a distant subject. "Nami asked me to do this, to see if he would do something."

"Hey, swordsman." You could hear the irritation in Law's voice from afar and it was clear how unhappy he was at that moment. "Is there a problem with her?"

"No, Captain, everything's fine here." You smiled in his direction and waved at Zoro, who just ignored what Law had said and left.

"So..." You started, trying to give your best mischievous smile. Which was much easier after remembering everything. "My drink is gone and I think I'm tired. I'm thinking about going back to Polar Tang."

"Sure, I can accompany you." Law said in false modesty.

You could count on your fingers how many steps you took towards a more empty place before the starry night turned into a room you didn't usually visit. Your body soon found his bed, your dress turned into a pile of fabric on the floor. His kisses finally freed to explore every inch of your nudity.

"I think I need to make it even clearer that you're out of their reach."

[strungnews]

Being in a polycule with Mark Grayson and Eve Wilkins is weird.

The two never really thought about it, hell, never really thought about anyone else romantically besides each other. They are quite literally, a power couple! But at the same time how could they fall in love with someone who they all got bad first impressions from?

(Fair warning I started rambling about this on the 22nd and ive been distracted with other content so it might be inaccurate and not up to date with the new upcoming eps! Sorry! 4k+ words oof)

When did you first meet?

Mark Grayson: First spotted at the convention, where you served as a temporary helping hand to one of your close friends who ran a free fix it portable station that helped aid costume malfunctions for cosplayers. You were a jack of all trades and a master of none. An average grade student, who participated as little and as much activities as one felt like, nothing really piquing your interest at any capacity to fully commit to it. Badminton, swim team, volleyball, chess, journalism, art, sewing. The talents and passion you had for it all were mediocre at best, but useful when the situation called for it.

Need an extra player in your team? You won't willingly volunteer, but if there was no other choice, so be it. Someone needing help on their swim technique? You've gotten more ear infections than you could count all because of swimming, several visits to the doctor and ear drops used. But an advice or two wouldn't hurt.

It just so happened you held a bit of liking to sewing, and with reluctance agreed to your friend's pleas of help for the upcoming convention day. You weren't really looking forward to helping around people who forgot to wear deodorant or were in desperate need of a shower, but he said you were splitting the tips by the end of the day. Money is money.

Mark would someyimes notice you here and there, carrying a huge clunky bag while assisting to anyone you could offer a hand to, but other than that, he said and did nothing else. He was more worried about the line for the Seance dog signing and Amber to properly pay attention. But couldn’t help gravitate towards you for some reason.

Though he does give credit where credit was due, between you and your close friend, you were a lot faster with the needle than he was. And you were only doing this for a day! But he didn't know that. Mark wouldn't lie, but he did find himself leaning over and away to look closer at your handy work whenever someone would happily walk away, almost catching his eye whenever you felt like you were being stared at more intensely than the individual you were fixing up.

His first ever person to person interaction was tainted by Mark getting distracted at the crowd of people dressed up as Invincible, before almost falling over himself and you. The supply of items you had just packed up all nice and neat now lay scattered all over the floor, going back to square one.

"Oh! Im so so sorry let me just-" "Thank you, but don't." You swat away his helping hand and turn your back to him. There he stands awkwardly, watching you silently pick up the pieces, his hand rubbing at his neck in guilt. The way you glared and spoke to him might as well had burned holes into his head till he had nothing resting atop his shoulders but charred remains.

You just ended up shoving everything back into place out of pure irritation before storming off, not sparing Mark a glance, not wanting to bother acknowledging him and getting angry for no reason.

He never noticed that you went to the same school as him before that whole interaction. All of a sudden it was like you were spawning everywhere he went, and you were non the wiser about it.

Whenever he'd walk with William and Amber, you'd be somewhere secluded with something to occupy yourself or just talking to that one guy you seemed close with. Even at the cafeteria, where you would be surrounded by people he had never seen you around with. Mostly tolerating their presence by the looks of it, only there because you were friends with one of them. Then you'd also started to hang out with Eve, which made him even more curious about you. Was Eve close with you? What was your relationship with her? Maybe he was getting a bit too nosy. Eve Wilkins: It was a lot harder to grab Eve's attention, even unintentionally. She's a busy gal, always handling this world crisis here and another there, she mostly has to focus time for herself and heroing than the people around her when she's just being Eve the student.

College wasn't all that hard for her, she was great at science and other subjects alike, a top student, Eve is.

But you weren't. In fact you were almost failing her favorite subjects. Numbers shmumbers, you hated it. And unfortunately for her, you were dumped on top of her already full plate unceremoniously when she had been pulled aside by one of the professors.

She didn't want to take it, but she didn't want a fellow student to fail a class she thought was so easy. So she hesitantly agreed, biting more than she could chew.

The event for the both of you was stressful to say the least. She was frustratingly ambiguous about her time and schedule, which clashed with your want to be punctuational, keeping interactions simply transactional. This was both stressful and moreso awkward for the two of you to go through. Eve wished you were a fast learner, but you were failing classes that involved numbers for a reason. Ouch.

Several pensive and forced smiles in the discomfort of your dorm room, each time you were told to start over or why you got this and that as an answer and formula was helping a migrane slowly develop the more time passes. She was trying her best, she really was. And you were too, you both can see the strained effort you two had put in. But by god the process was going by slow.

More breaks would occur than actual learning, before you caved and gave in first.

"I'm never getting this, am I?" Falling back to your mattress with a stiff bounce, you close your eyes and put an arm over them. Hand clenched, nails digging into the palm of your hand.

"Well, you're making progress. As slow as it is at least." You can appreciate how she still has the courtesy to be nice and sugarcoat it, but that was just making you all the more resentful of the situation.

"I just- I dont get it! How do you get this from that?" Quickly sitting up to point accusingly at the paper that lies on your soft cushions, its crumpled and dented with the amount of times you had to erase with shavings of it not too far beside.

"It's hypothetical, thats why we have assigned formulas." Eve pinches the bridge of her nose. She's exhausted and just wishes she could crash at her bed. But even the trip to the treehouse seemed tiresome to do, now contemplating if it was the best course of action to live there.

"Yes, I know! But-ugh." It feels useless, putting your hands up in defeat. "At least with science you can tell what you actually need to use. Math is all 'use your common sense', well i'm trying." Muttered through gritted teeth, you close the abused books and notebooks scattered on the bed.

It was a unified agreement to take a break and go out for a little while and get grub, blowing steam off in the process.

This goes on for two weeks, and gradually progress begins to show. You're making more sense of the subject and are putting pieces together easily than before, which used to be nothing. It was going at a snails pace, but progress is progress!

A small surprise quiz had popped up, and you answered the questions with a keen eye. Double checking, using the memorization methods Eve basically drilled into your head, a wavering air of confidence around you as you wrote.

The time for grading happened all too soon, exchanging papers to whomever was closest to you, checking one another's work before passing it back and receiving your own. Here came and greeted an unbelievably high score plastered in red ink on your paper, reading a 16/20.

You almost cried in joy with how surreal it was. It may just be a simple quiz to the others, but this was practically a milestone to you. The news was given to her, and you both felt lighter knowing you finally had it handled. As a cause for celebration, you decided to lounge in your bed and just have a time for yourself, no longer plagued with the tutors. Coming in the whole situation with Eve filled with dread, and coming out with a feeling of self reassurance.

Your time spent with Eve decreased the more time went on, which you were a bit sad about. Having considered her as a friend, but knew it was inevitable. School work is still work.

On occasion she and you would just text, maybe ask for help whether it be math or personal things, or just to reply to a stupid cat video one of you sent.

Eve did begin to notice you became a lot more confident in answering and volunteering in class, and she felt proud for you.

Meet up!

Burgermart seemed to be more sensational than before, ever since Mark decided to quit.

The place isn't as packed as other foodchain restaurants would usually be, but it seems a lot more crowded than what Mark was used to.

It was his to go to place even though he’ll be met with a few familiar faces working behind the counter, but nothing too bad.

He waits in line, orders his usual, and walks to his unofficial spot that Mark likes to sit at. Only to already be occupied with a friendly face he has met, and another not so much.

Based on the confusion on yours it’s safe to say you probably don’t remember him. Probably. Hopefully.

“Mark! Fancy seeing you here,” The two exchange hugs while you awkwardly watch, biting on your greasy burger unashamedly.

You and Eve move to the corner of each of your booths, and decidedly Mark sits next to you instead. A flash of hurt goes over her face, but disappears as soon as it came.

They’d chatter and munch on the fries left over from the burger platter of Eve’s plate, only humming noncommittally whenever you’d be dragged into the conversation, but said nothing else. Not wanting to butt in their conversation, so mulled over on why this guy’s face felt so familiar to you. But nothing pops up.

Everyone finishes up and after a few minutes all of you are standing to leave. Cleaning just a little but after yourselves to not seem rude when the workers clean up.

“I never really got your name.” Mark suddenly shifts his attention to you as the three of you walk out to the parking lot. Its already afternoon, making the weather warm a little.

“I never really gave it.” You reply back. In your head, you justify your response by chalking it up to not really knowing the guy. Sure he’s Mark, Eve’s supposed friend. But what else? What happened to stranger danger?

Eve doesn’t seem to pick up on that, and or doesn’t share the same sentiment, enthusiastically coming in to respond for you. “Remember when I said I was busy tutoring someone? Yeah? Well they’re said someone.”

“You talked about me?”

“Well, just the good bits . . . !”

Shame, embarrassment, you wish the world could swallow you up right then and there.

But you steel yourself, making sure to not make eye contact helping avoid digging your already deep grave. “Better be, or ill tell him the time you tore a hole through the papers when-“

“Okay! Okay! I get it! I promise, it wasn’t anything bad!” Her flustered state makes you laugh, slowly warming up to the both of them.

“I heard you got a high score that one time, man I wish I did too. I kind of flunked the quiz.”

“Maybe you should ask them to tutor you. They’re kind of a math whiz now dontcha think?”

The wink wink nudge nudge could not have been any more subtle.

“Shut up.”

What happens next?

So many new things in your life changed and occurred, both terrifying and exciting.

One of them was being introduced to the friend group that seemed to be ever expanding the more times you hang out with them. William was a hoot, he felt like the most normal person you could relate to. Amber was ambitious, a kind person who already had her shit figured out. And Mark? Well, hes a dweeb and a mess.

Even though you’ve been adopted into the new stray friend, you always gravitated to Eve more. She was the first person you really bothered to hold more than one sentence with. Albeit a bit forced.

Then the whole human robots occurred, you wish you could say you were there to be of help or even lend a hand, but you were dead asleep for the most part. Too busy holed up in your dorm room with work to fully enjoy the almost-adult, adult life.

Then Mark reveals his super hero persona to you, and so does Eve.

“How many know?”

“Oh, hun.” Eve puts a hand on your shoulder.

“You’re like, the last person to know. Everyone in the group practically already know.”

“What.”

You feel bitter but view them no more or less. Only asking to be taken flying at least once by one of them in exchange.

“THIS IS AWESOME!”

“Calm down I might drop you!” Eve is not surprised nor all that glad you asked her first, but feels a bit cocky about it. Another tally on whose the best super between her and Mark. Not that anyone’s counting.

★彡

It seems the two can’t catch a break. Mark especially.

Everyone’s there for Mark after the whole incident, and to further supporting his now semi-fixed relationship with Amber.

You can sense something about Eve though, but don’t pry. The way she looks at the two or how she tries to just hang out with you more to ‘get her mind off of things’ at her tree house, it was quite the tell.

“You know you can tell me anything that’s bothering you, and I wouldn’t judge you. Right?”

Eve hands a glass of soda, bubbling from the carbon dioxide. She sighs and says nothing, only opting to lean and look at the view overlooking the place.

“I know.”

Despite not being a super or wicked smart, you’re not stupid. You are Eve’s only confidant, even if you don’t get it, you sympathize with her.

Its one thing after the other with Mark and Eve. Mark comes back home with a purple baby, Eve focuses more on her studies to be an architect, things get messed up, and the secrecy continues.

Mark doesn’t get too deep into it, only ever talking to Eve about topics as heavy as that. So many . . . Events has conspired. You’re helpless to do anything to help soothe the bleeding wound. Eve says Mark just needs time, but you both know it’s not true. So, being the ever so genius you are, you offer a sleep over.

It’s a much appreciated and comforting sentiment for the whole family, they’re not sure if they want to be alone after what had conspired. But they also say nothing, keeping their mouths zipped tight.

A movie starts to play, a few hours had already passed ever since you and Eve rang the doorbell. Everyone’s huddled up at the couch, with Oliver sat in Marks lap, now crawling to Eve before reaching you at the end of the couch.

“Looks like he likes you.” Mark sounds so tired when he speaks, it’s a lot more quiet than when he usually talks, but Eve only nods in agreement.

“Yeah, babies like me for some reason. Even if I’m not a fan. But I guess since it’s Oliver..” He pulls and tugs at your clothes in curiosity, before harshly sitting himself on your stomach to face the tv. You let out an ‘oof’, which Mark and Eve laugh.

The tv plays, but its practically static to Mark’s ears, as he speaks again.

“I broke up with Amber.”

★彡

Having to be the middle of the two sided coin, you were forced to listen to the two’s complaints about one another’s crush. You wish you could just pull your hair out to get some semblance of relief with how its eating at you alive. At least William knocked some further sense into him when Mark confided in them after asking you first.

Eve? Well, she was busy. Like always.

But it was Mark this, architect that, Mark and Oliver, all that fun jazz. You couldn’t visit as often as Eve could, so she’d like to give updates.

Sometimes you feel like they’re so close to getting there, so close, until you get caught between the two again at the treehouse, seeking some you and her time till Mark showed up.

Something something future Eve, something something oh my fucking god Mark you’re screwing this up!

They both leave due to an emergency, leaving you there isolated at the treehouse.

“Great, guess ill just jump down and walk my way to the campus then!” You shout to nobody in particular.

Its about time!

Finally, the two got together.

No party no celebration, nothing big or grand. Just a small text of congratdolences, because she had to deal with Mark foreverrrr. Until an inevitable break up. Which will never happen.

Their relationship started off a bit fast, a bit rocky, but still stable. Still being at college and not possessing super human abilities, you would often video call and or gossip to them when they had the time. Catching up a lot more on things everyone would miss out since it felt like everyone lived in on different worlds.

You’d make William join in too, considering besides Eve, you were really close. But oh goodness, oh my word, he got caught up talking to his dearly beloved Rick and therefore forgot to reply!

Okay that may be a little exaggerated, but what can you do? Separated by the three people you were super close with in the span of half a year, you were getting clingy.

“Ugh, Will come on. This is the third time we’re hosting a small food get together without you, you can even bring Rick!” You’d complain while lying on your stomach in front of your laptop. Toiling away at your textbooks.

“How’s it feel to third wheel with the super couple? And plus, its finally a friday! I haven’t gotten a break in what feels like ages. Me and Rick are planning on staying in and having a movie night and falling asleep on the couch.”

“Barf. Rick this, Rick that, blah blah blah. You were so interesting when you were single!”

“Well sorry you’re the only one who’s single in the friend group.”

“Hey!”

Maybe you were a third wheel. Constantly hanging around Eve and Mark whenever they’d offer or whenever you had free time, you felt embarrassed. Especially now that you’re helping them look for an apartment —or house even— that they could possibly afford.

Being an expert in assessing many things in your life, of course your help was well needed.

“What about this one?”

“Looks… well..” Mark squints at the photo, giving it a slight once over before pursing his lips. Arms brushing up against yours as he crosses his arms and legs in faux thought.

“I know, it’s tacky, right? But I didn’t know if that was your guys’ style.” You click away to another tab, showing the place and its living conditions, plus the added bonuses it has around the areas. Nearby markets, easy access to vehicles if wanted, and a bit isolated so they went get caught super-ing.

“You saying we’re tacky?”

Ignoring Mark’s comment to your right, you shift your attention to Eve. “How about this one?”

“It’s a bit too good to be true, hows the rent?” Eve sets down on Mark’s bed with a slight bounce, leaning over to your left to sandwich you with Mark.

“Yeah about that.” You suck in hair between your teeth and move the screen as an answer, and she merely scrunches her nose.

“Man. Adulting is hard.” Mark leans his head with a thud on his headboard, before it slowly slides to the side, hovering just slightly on your shoulder.

“Tell me about it. I had to pick between saving up for the ride home or saving the cash for food.” You reply absent mindedly, tapping away at the screen with an occasional click of the laptop’s track pad.

“Imagine if you guys had another human being to deal with while you’re still trying to get your shit together? Yikes.” Shaking your head at the thought of it, makes your bones heavy with fatigue.

But Mark and Eve look over to one another with a shared look of confusion. Another person? As in . . . You’re not implying that are you?

They take you back to your campus but not before saying bye to Oliver. Even though he was just a year old, he already grew as big as a toddler. Wanting to hang out with you despite barely talking or even knowing him. It was like a baby duckling imprinting.

But Mark and Eve can’t help but think about what you said on their way home. Another person? It seems like a bit much. No?

They were already quite content on having each other, they didn’t know if the other was comfortable about the prospect of it all. But wasn’t opposite to it either.

So for now, they’d decided to tip toe around it instead.

A puzzling piece

Ever since that visit, the two have been a lot more touchy feely with you.

You dont mind honestly, chalking it up to them being a lot more friendly towards you and nothing else. Nothing more.

William and Rick start to notice too, after finally having everyone’s schedules align once in a blue moon and going out to just have some fun. They’d practically crowd you like body guards, and William and Rick would just watch, snickering to one another.

At times you do get suspicious. Eve holding your arm as you walked was nothing new, but when Mark started to initiate more physical contact with you, you’d spiral.

Of course Mark was hot, hell, Eve was too! Those were simply just facts, your best friends were attractive as hell. Who doesn’t admit that to themselves from time to time? But theyre off limits. They have each other, and you’re just you! No offense.

You couldn’t help raise a questioning brow when Mark and Eve started sitting away from each other in exchange of you being in the middle of them. Bumping shoulders, arms brushing up, hands on your back, or hair tucked behind your ear. It felt overwhelming.

So you confide in William and Rick on their behavior, receiving cryptic responses rather than actual answers instead.

“Are Eve and Mark being weird?” You’d ask, passing over your bag of chips to Rick while sucking on your straw.

“I think they’re being very obvious.” William answers dismissively waving his hand.

“Obvious? About what?”

“Oh you know, right Rick?” And he just shrugs with an awkward smile in response.

“Well has Mark said anything? Eve’s just been . . . Normal, I guess? But feels like they’re keeping something from me too.”

“Yeah, sure. Ill tell you if Mark says anything. Wink wink.” William says out loud rather than literally.

“Okay?”

Seeing as they were no help, you finally grew some and talked to Eve about it privately. No Mark, no Atom Eve or Invincible, just you and her in the a lot sturdier and built treehouse of hers.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes! Well, no.”

You spill your guts out to her, not looking in her general direction the whole time so you can actually let out the words you want to say rather than awkwardly fumbling and mumbling to yourself.

It seems Eve feels the same way, opting to look out rather than meet your own gaze. Picking at her nails at the same time.

“Do you remember when you were helping us look for apartments to live in? Before we ditched that plan and decided not to?”

“Yes . . ?”

“Then you mentioned something about another person being in our lives?”

“Another person? Since when?”

“Since when you showed us that great place! But was too out of our budget.”

“Yeah, and?”

“Well we thought. . . You were . . .”

It takes a few moments for you to make sense of it all, till Eve reaches to hold out your hand and it clicks.

“I meant having a kid! You know, white picket fence and all that!” Your face is practically hot enough to cook an egg on with her admittance.

She clears things up before Mark pops up all of a sudden. Not taking the hint of yours and Eve’s current state and inviting himself in.

“Where were you? I texted you that an hour ago and I still had no response. I got worried.”

“Crap, I think I forgot to hit send.”

Mark gets caught up in the current news, and feels like he’s made a fool of himself. Him and Eve are silently but not very subtly having a conversation about you in loud hushed whispers. Their backs turned to you and they’re holding each other’s hand in reassurance.

“Im not—Im not opposed to it though.” You say quietly, a bit hesitant to break up their conversation.

“Really?” They say in unison, perking up like excited puppies.

“I mean! If you guys’ll have me, that is.”

“We’ve been flirting with you for the past couple of months, I think we’re more than happy to.”

“You’ve been flirting?!”

“Yes, for months.”

Maybe in the near future the three of you could live in that house you found, just the three of you.

a/n: ahh i kinda hate and love this but im done so whatever just take it from me TAKE IT

btw id love to hear your thoughts and questions about this or just invincible in general teehee! planning on writing more ;P

[leupagus]

Tuesday's House Budget Vote and what you may not have heard about

I'm reposting this from a reblog of a really great post about the work that Representatives Mullin and Pettersen did in voting against the GOP budget on February 25th, because I don't want to detract from that message.

Instead, I want to talk about the larger implications of H. Con. Res. 14 itself, and why the Democrats risked so much (in Mullin's and Pettersen's cases, actual harm) in order to show up for this vote.

The vote in question is starting the first of quite a few votes for the upcoming GOP budget; it's not a done deal by any means, this was just the vote to get it started, so to speak. But it was still a very, very, VERY important vote, because not only would failure be catastrophic, but so would a win that just barely squeaked by.

And this one squeaked like a fucking mouse in Murray's Cheese Shop.

Speaker Johnson has been waffling on putting this to a vote because there were several outspoken GOP members who talked a big game about opposing it. Usually this doesn't matter, since most bills get some bipartisanship, but at present the House is in GOP hands with only a three-member margin of error, with two seats vacant (note: those two vacancies are FL 1 and 6, which are holding their special elections on April 1 — lol — and which are EXTREMELY unlikely to flip but hey miracles happen! Donate or phonebank if you'd like!). And Democratic representatives have been voting in a bloc against...well pretty much everything the GOP's been pushing through since Trump took office. Not only that, but this budget is legit unpopular with a number of Republicans, so much so that Johnson pulled the vote at first on Tuesday because he knew it would fail if the GOP members who'd threatened to vote against it actually went through with it. What he needed was to either convince them all to fall in line, or resort to cheating.

So he did both!

He and Trump strongarmed all but one of the GOP holdouts into voting yes (Congressman Massie is in many ways a turd in a toilet, and his reasons for voting no were bad, but he did stick to his guns, I'll give him that). Reports of Trump actually screaming at one of the (female, naturally) GOP holdouts are...well, unsurprising, but that's how panicked they were about getting this bill started. Usually the Whip does this work, but Tom Emmer's been laughably bad at it and so they had to get Trump to actually do some work. Which is itself sort of astonishing. But even then, they weren't sure they could get it done.

Which leads us to part two of Johnson's plan: blatant cheating. During Pelosi's last session as Speaker, she allowed for proxy voting in light of COVID and, you know, the general state of things, but the second the GOP got back the gavel they nixed it right in the bud. This puts the Dems at a disadvantage right now because at least three of them are out for medical reasons — Mullin and Pettersen, as well as Congressman Raúl Grijalva who's fighting cancer at present. (He was the only Democrat who couldn't get to the floor for this vote, fwiw, and anyone who insists he should've can suck my left tit.)

So Johnson adjourned the House for the evening, sending everyone home, but told the GOP members to stay and then tried to rush through the vote before the Dems realized what was happening. His hope was that enough Dems would be caught flat-footed/not see the recall notice/be asleep watching Taskmaster (whoops that was me) by the time they got the message to get back to the floor. That way he could lose the holdouts but still pass the budget onto the next phase.

However! While Nancy Pelosi no longer rules the Democratic caucus with her iron fist and fabulous coats, my man Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries learned quite a lot from her (and is pretty fucking genius himself). Not only did he and the other House leadership expect this kind of chicanery from Johnson, they had planned on it.

Because here's the thing: Mullin and Pettersen didn't get on a plane at the last minute on Tuesday; they'd gotten to DC on Monday, without telling anyone they were in town. They actually hid from the GOP members all day Tuesday in order to lull Johnson into thinking he had more of a margin than he did; if the GOP holdouts really had voted against the budget, then it would've failed. Which would have been a biiiiiiig problem for Johnson and Trump.

As it is, it's still a biiiiiiig problem for Johnson and Trump, because now they know just how razor-thin their margin is. More importantly, they also now know that the Dems will fuck with them just as much (if not more) as they will fuck with Dems. Congress (and the USA in general) has operated for years on the assumption that Democrats operate in good faith, while taking it for granted that of course the GOP ratfuck as much as humanly possible.

This moment is a chilling one for the GOP; they can't assume anymore that Dems will play fair or fight clean. Which seems like a very small thing in the larger picture right now, I know, and I also know that people would love for their Democratic representatives and senators to be more vocal and angry in public ways. I get that!

But this move on Tuesday night? Is actually going to have far bigger consequences than any meme or viral video or clever soundbite from a politician. Democrats are no longer playing by the rules that the GOP's ignored for years (if not decades); they're playing by the GOP's own rules, and they just might win.

[archivalofsins]

I do have thoughts on how the situation between Mu and Haruka is being discussed.

I believe it's a bit disingenuous to behave as though Mu didn't know Haruka was getting worse and I just want to lay out why it is I feel that way. To be frank it simply doesn't align with anything we heard from Mu in her second voice drama or the things she was displayed as saying and doing within the Portal Timeline. As I am a petty individual I would say it's a stretch of canon to say she did anything other than what she said she'd do.

Which was nothing but support Haruka in his choice as his friend,

Mu Queen B 13:16

"Isn't it exactly because he's my friend? isn't friendship about letting your friends do the stuff they want?"

Though let's go a bit further back for a second how do we know that Mu was aware Haruka was planning to do something that would end his life? Well because she told us and she told us a good while ago in fact,

Mu Queen B 12:36s,

"Ah, but if you don't forgive me Haruka-kun will die. So, I think it'd be best not to do that." ...! [bell tolls] So you've heard about that nonsense too? "Mhm. Haruka-kun told me."

Literally her saying that last thing should be the nail in the coffin for presenting this situation as something Mu wasn't aware of. Because she was told by Haruka himself that if she was voted Guilty he would do lethal harm to himself. This is the first reason why I believe anyone behaving as though there is any chance Mu did not know Haruka planned to do this is either acting dishonestly or simply has not been paying attention.

Well, Gunsli maybe she knew he planned to harm himself but she didn't know how he was going to do it. Haruka didn't even know himself yet he was still trying to figure it out. That's fair. However, Mu still could have told the other prisoners that Haruka planned to do harm to himself just to be safe if she didn't want him to do that or just told him she didn't want him to do that. I guess that's neither here or there though.

Let's just keep walking down this-

Wow; I literally can't even say this is a road, bridge or anything someone is meant to walk on... What the fuck is this? Alright. This imaginary pathway certain people insist on telling those around them really exists despite it not aligning with anything that has occurred thus far. Yeah, I'll believe for a second this is the case and Mu just didn't know even though Haruka told her he would end his life if she was guilty and she would be the first to know if she was guilty.

Not even touching on the landmine of how Haruka would find out she was guilty to begin with. It was possibly when they were restrained after the verdicts but he implies he knew earlier than that when they're talking in the timeline on his birthday in 2023.

Still forgetting all of that maybe Mu didn't know how Haruka would do it.

She still knew he had the intent to harm himself and what her verdict was to her own admission. Then did nothing to even try to dissuade him from harming himself over the course of the portal timeline,

Trial Three Website Voice Lines

2: "You said you’d forgive me. You told me that you would forgive me! Just changing what you think on a whim, you really are the worst." 4: "What are you going to do about this? Haruka-kun died. Hey, guard. You knew this would happen, right?""

"Ah, but if you don't forgive me Haruka-kun will die. So, I think it'd be best not to do that."

The first time she brought him food she even stated that he had to eat it properly meaning she recognized he was not eating and persisted in telling people she had it handled anyway and that he was fine,

23/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: Haruka-kun, I brought your food. Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing? Haruka: ……ah, thank you very much. Mu-san. Sorry, um…… I…… Mu: You shouldn’t just lock yourself in your room all day. You have to eat your food properly. Hm, well…… I do understand why you’re feeling down. It feels bad. The atmosphere recently Haruka: Um, I’m totally fine…… Just a bit, I’m thinking, about how to do it. What to do, what to do, to…… fulfil my promise. For Mu-san’s sake……

So, even the fact that he was not eating properly was something she knew long before any of the other prisoners or even us as the audience knew.

Hell, in this timeline Haruka brings up that he's thinking about how to do it. How to end his own life to keep his promise to her and she says nothing to dissuade him from it. While knowing full and well what he's talking about because again she told us he told her.

"Mhm. Haruka-kun told me."

These are the facts from her own mouth.

This is the sequence of events. I do not believe this is a difficult set of circumstances to follow or look into but they are easy things for people to purposely misconstrue. In a way that I can only consider to be an attempt to make Mu sound more considerate than her actions and own words display her as being.

Hell I know for certain that some overzealous individual is going to get in their feelings and go,

"Well Jackalope said in the trial three commencement notice that Mu has trouble putting her emotions into words. He said 'She doesn’t know where or what her feelings are. She just lacks the skills to put them into words, but a human such as she, is quite complicated.'. Maybe this means Mu really did care about Haruka and just didn't know the proper way to express that or how to handle the situation."

One I'm not arguing against that.

I am however arguing what does that have to do with Haruka dying and the words she did say throughout the entire time he was slowly wasting away in his cell from starvation? Like I don't care about how she's feeling about it now when all is said and done. Because while Haruka was starving himself she was having people praise her for bringing him food she knew he wasn't eating?

Because again the first time she brought the food to him she verbally noted he was not eating properly. So the timeline and again Mu's own statements portray that she was aware Haruka was not eating from the onset.

Yet, continued to tell people things such as,

"I’ve been bringing all his meals to him so he should be fine. Isn’t that great of me?" - [Milgram Portal Timeline-23/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)] "I’ve been taking his food to him like this every day. Isn’t that great of me?" - [Milgram Portal Timeline- 24/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)]

However a lot of people want to spin it as though Mu went through something just as tragic as what Yuno went through.

That she spent months trying to do right by someone and help them get better just to have them die.

It's a pretty easy story to want to spin for Mu's character. Especially when the parties telling it have a vested interest in ignoring certain information. Simply because they want to see the best in someone to validate themselves regardless of how that someone has consistently behaved.

Even her saying you have to eat has been twisted around to say she was telling him to eat so she was really trying to help him and tell him not to do this through saying that. This was her showing concern for Haruka. When what it is- Is definitive proof that while no one else knew Haruka wasn't eating until they found him starved to death or near starved to death Mu did know.

How could she not have known.

She was bringing him food everyday. She saw him every day. Starvation isn't something that can go unnoticed. People will literally lose weight. They will get thinner. There's no way to starve gracefully. Heck it's not even that difficult to tell when someone isn't eating their food.

Definitely not in Mu's case because again it is something she noted he was not doing on June 22, 2023,

"You have to eat your food properly."

Mu Kusunoki to Haruka Sakurai on June 22, 2023 far long before he starved to death.

Now logistically what could she have done? It's not like she could have forced him to eat. What could she have done outside of saying hey you should eat properly?

Well you see there's this thing called an intervention. There's this thing called telling people there's a problem. There's this thing called when multiple people give someone the opportunity to tell them that something is going wrong and another person needs help far beyond what they can provide doing that.

Something Mu was given chances to do but decided to instead assure people that Haruka was fine and she was taking him his food every day. Stating and implying to them that he's being taken care of and eating properly through her statements. Because she's showing them the food, the plates, and saying this is what she's doing.

Why would they not believe her?

Now there's discussions around the fact that anyone within Milgram could have taken some time to go into Haruka's cell and check on them their selves. However, that takes us back to Mu as well because Futa and Shidou asked Mu if Haruka was alright because she was going there every day and they may not have wanted to barge into Haruka's space. This is just a polite thing to do. Since Mu assured them that he was in fact fine and look he's eating see I just took him this then possibly showed them an eaten plate of food-

What the fuck were they supposed to do? Go,

"LIAR- He's starving himself in there isn't he?!"

Shove Mu to the ground barge into Haruka's room and go,

"Haruka we're here to save you this is an intervention. You will have three meals a day like the rest of us and water. Then we will walk daily and start you on communications counseling because this isn't healthy physically or mentally. Kajiyama grab his legs we're taking him to the dining hall."

And force fed him like Curly is Mouthwashing. No, that would be wild. Just believe her. The fuck why would they not believe her? Fuck I would have believed her too. Like okay I believe you that's your friend. The fuck you gotta lie for. If you say you're taking him food then I believe you and I have other things to do but if this continues I'll go in there to check myself eventually.

At the end of the day she knew Haruka wasn't eating she noted that. All to then not get anyone to intervene or help in any way. In fact she assured people time and time again even after Haruka was probably dead that he was fine.

23/07/05 (Mu’s Birthday)

Futa: Oi, you. Is he ok? He’s not even left his room lately. Mu: You mean Haruka-kun? Hmm. Yeah, probably. I’ve been bringing all his meals to him so he should be fine. Isn’t that great of me? Futa: Hah? Who the hell says that sort of thing about themself. ……ah, no, well, right now I understand a bit. When you’re feeling down, it’s nice to have someone who relies on you and accepts you. The rest of us can’t really understand you from where we’re standing. But well, if you’re Haruka’s “salvation” then I guess it really is great. Mu: Salvation……? I don’t know what you mean. Futa-kun, you don’t sound like yourself. Did you hit your head or something? Oh, wait, you actually did, didn’t you. Ahaha. Ah, putting that aside though, did you know it’s my birthday today?

24/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Shidou: ……I’m worried about Sakurai-kun. I haven’t seen him around in a while. You’ve been talking with him, right? Mu: He’s fine. Here, look. I’ve been taking his food to him like this every day. Isn’t that great of me? Shidou: Yes, very. I’m sorry I’ve been leaving it to you to look after him. Usually, that would be the job of us adults, and yet we’re leaving you with the burden. Mu: Don’t worry about it. After all, me and Haruka-kun are friends.

Something that goes straight back to what Mu said she would do in regards to Haruka threatening his own life. Again it's not Mu's fault he's dead I don't consider suicide murder and neither does Milgram. Haruka choose to take himself out and that's a choice I've gotta respect. Nobody forced him to make that threat or follow through on it.

Yet no one stopped him either. Milgram, Es, the audience or Mu. None of those things stopped him from doing that or even attempted to.

Mu's defenders can't have their cake and eat it too. They can't say it's the audience fault for not voting Mu innocent and stopping Haruka because Mu didn't stop Haruka either.

Like Mu said,

Mu Queen B 13:05s

You know about it and you're not trying to stop him? Haruka, that is?

"Why would I?"

"Haruka-kun says that's what he wants, so there's nothing I can do, right?" But you're calling him your friend.

Yeah Mu, you're right. That's what Haruka wanted to attach his life to and die for. Nothing we could've done about it. Es didn't make him threaten himself. The audience didn't either. We should just respect the choices he made to get himself to that conclusion.

Heck at least he got to choose how he went out. That's more than Shidou and Mahiru got.

The last timeline we see with him even supports this,

24/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: ––Hey, are you really ok with this? If you come with me, there’s a chance you can be saved too…… Haruka. Haruka: Yeah…… I’ve made my mind up. I have, something, that I have to do. Futa: Ah, is that right…… Haruka, you know, you’re an idiot. There’s no way…… that will save you…… Haruka: Yeah, thank you. I’m glad you came to talk to me, Futa. Um, thank you, for being so kind. Really. But, I’m sorry. This is all I’m able to do……

All those times she brought food and she never offered him a way out of that promise. She never said this is how you can get out of this. This is how you can move forward with me too. You're life doesn't have to end here. No the person who did that? Who was it again?

Was it the person that brought meals there everyday. That people are trying to jump through hoops to say couldn't notice someone starving right in front of them. Even though that someone was a person she'd been attached to at the hip prior. She could notice when he wasn't making eye contact or distracted by something,

22/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday)

Mu: What’s wrong, Haruka-kun? Did something happen? You shouldn’t look away like that when you’re together with me. Haruka: Ah, s-sorry, Mu-san. Um…… No, it’s nothing. I just, suddenly got a feeling. That something is about to happen. Mu: Isn’t that because it’s your birthday? Or perhaps it’s a sign the guard is about to wake up again soon? Fufufu, I bet they’ll be really surprised at a lot of things. Haruka: That, might be true. But, I want the the guard to see. ……the new, me…….

But not a change in his weight. She's not observant enough to recognize the signs of starvation. Even though she went there every day with food. Alright, sure I believe you.

You know I'm not even mad at Mu because Haruka is dead. I'm mad at Mu because Haruka died for someone who no matter how much I comb through the facts did not give one fuck about him. To the point that the last notable thing Haruka did was not thank Mu for being kind to him didn't even thank her for that once if we're being honest but someone else.

Who even while going through the shit he did and saying he didn't have the luxury to bother being concerned about him. Was the first to ask if he was okay. Was the first to check in with the person he saw as being closest to Haruka to just check if he was alright. Then when the situation persisted went in there himself to check on his own birthday.

Just to be meet with what exactly. I was curious about what Futa saw that made him seem so panicked. Curious about how Haruka had done it. But now we know he went in there and saw a shell of person thin, starved, on the brink of death. Probably not too different from how Mikoto's trial three art looks at this point.

And he pleaded with Haruka to just leave be saved some other way. Like damn sure Amane's religion makes him vegan but at least he's eating. It's something I really can't let go it's not murder of course. Mu didn't kill Haruka with her barehands she didn't even kill him at all. But it's just the idea of going to same place every day with the thing that could save someone's life and knowing they're not taking it. All while again and again assuring people it's fine I'm taking him the thing.

"Isn’t that great of me?"

[into-the-milgramverse]

I've been thinking about Muu for a while now, especially the reason people generally don't like her and wanna vote her guilty. I get it's likely due to people's personal experiences with bullying, and I've had those experiences too, so I'm not here to excuse her actions. Just wanna bring another perspective.

So, she lives in Japan.

She's mixed. She has blonde hair.

Does anyone here know that in some Japanese schools, if your hair isn't perfectly black but instead brown, they'll edit your photos to make it black?

Do people know that her being white and asian puts her already as a target for bullying?

I'm pretty sure she knew of that before starting highschool.

So, how to prevent being bullied? She had to find someone to target herself. If she's the one on top, if she's the one bullying others, she won't be bullied, right? It's a survival strategy (yes, "survival", while talking about school. After all, for many, the experience of going to school and being bullied is genuinely traumatizing.)

Unfortunately, that strategy doesn't quite work because all it takes is to accidentally bully the wrong person, or bully at the wrong time and a teacher catches you. And then there's a low possibility that teacher will actually do something about the bullying (but who's to say that same teacher will be there when everyone turns against you now?)

But, if, when they turn against you, you apologize really sweetly and make sure you look really depressed over it, they might stop, right?

But you can only say so many "sorry"s before people stop believing you all together.

That's basically the cycle Muu is in.

Be at the top by putting others beneath you -> If they turn against you, put on an act to be pitied -> Go back to the top -> If knocked back down again, cry again

It's what seems to work in school so far, so she's applying that same logic to prison, since, ya know, she hasn't really had any other experiences in life yet. I really doubt a rich 16 year old girl would know what prison is like (even those familiar with prisons likely weren't ready for some magic prison like Milgram).

Is what she's doing bad? Yes. But should she be tortured and killed for that? No. Besides, does it really bring justice to her victim? The family of the girl she killed will just know that their daughter is dead, and the one responsible for their daughter's death ran away. I mean, how would they know Muu got kidnapped to some kind of magical prison?

[shatcey]

Lost in the lustful elixir (Fun with Ally)

Even so the event is have a very obvious topic and content… I won't talk about it. Sorry, not sorry. Maybe a bit.

First...

I strongly disagree with this…

And it's the same in the premium ending.

Kate always defended Ally if someone said that he was incapable of love. She always believed in him. She never doubted. And here she simply agreed. It's pretty weird. Did she start doubting after she dated him for a while? Considering how much he has invested in this relationship and how much he has changed… it's pretty sad.

Actually, I think we have perfect taste. Thank you very much!

The next part will be better…

Ally and Oggy (let's try a new nickname for once) playing kids again…

You know better than anyone that Oggy knows how to relax. You're drinking with him!

Ally doesn't seem happy about it. Could it be… he is really afraid of Vivi? If so, then this is the first father-figure that boys are truly afraid of. The boys were constantly teasing Sirius (IkeRev). I really hate it when they call him old. HE'S NOT OLD!!! Abel (IkeVamp) can't control any of the boys, they literally do whatever they want, the same with Vlad. Sari (IkePri) is scary, but only Bell is afraid of him. Nobu (IkeSen) is scary too, but he's the boss, and they respect him. So it's different. I know that Vivi is also the boss. But he will always be "daddy" to me. He's too cute…

Awwwwwww… Of course, Daddy!!

Or he's not afraid, but… as Ally himself said…

"I'm a good boy… Don't scold me." (squeak) He's so cute!

And, of course, Ally couldn't just let it go… so there was a little revenge later…

Children!

Ciele (@judesmoonbeauty) what the hell is Jude's girl doing here?

And more than that… she's flirting with Roger.

And according to his words in the epilogue… she had been chasing him for a while…

This girl knows what she wants

It can't be the same Isla, right?

So… This ANOTHER Isla is…

I totally agree with that. I think you look much better…

I mentioned this then talk about the Secret ending… she really said "eat him". Let's start from the beginning.

Kate noticed the devouring stares of people directed at Alfons…

Yes, she's selfish, and I totally understand that, who would agree to share this guy with anyone else (I'm still considering Elbert and somtimes Vivi… not now girl!), but the most she could think about was protecting him. Despite the fact she was jealous… her first priority was his well-being.

So she was very worried. And… my logic in the SE is probably correct. That's one of the reasons he did what he did.

And in the dramatic ending, he really offered…

Right… the meaning is completely different if you know the context.

And it's just a challenge to the imagination…

So… she's standing on her knees… okay… his leg is in there somewhere… but… her "bud" is closer to the toe of his shoe, not the heel… So, how did he do that??? He lifted his foot… to her stomach or something?

In the SE there were words that he used his toes… but in the process… you know, she works with… him… and at the same time, he somehow manages to… move his foot. One wrong move, and she literally eats him. WTF? Okay… Maybe I'm exaggerating…

It was a lot of fun! I laughed so hard I cried. I hope you enjoyed it too.

dividers by @.sweetmelodygraphics

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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝

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[hollow-lime-green]

hi, anon from "t/b discourse is dumb" ask here 👋 this conversation actually is really interesting and i wanna add a little more if thats okay. (how long is the average anon ask? im not new to fandom but i am relatively new to tumblr and its etiquette... so sorry if this is too long. ive done my best to condense it 😭 there's just too much to say and im a rambler)

i hope i didn't come off as blaming anybody for their response to harassment and such, i don't want to contribute to that. my ire is only pointed toward people who make it their business to hurt others over innocuous fandom happenings, those people who leave dickish comments on fics and send anonhate and mass qrt on twitter. but like i said, expecting those kinds of people to go away any time soon is not really something i have hope for at this point. you put it well: people get so emotionally invested --- and i too Love getting emotionally invested when it comes to fiction --- that logic stops being a factor. people all over the internet also tend to struggle with simply disliking something and leaving it there. you're allowed to dislike/disagree with something without turning it into a moral failure when it's all down to preference and the characters involved are not Real

i just wish more people saw the value in Healthy™ discourse. hell, even if someone's opinion ticks you off, that doesn't mean you can't engage in an open minded discussion with them, if you want to. but people can't do that even outside of niche online fanbases.

i would love to share my own opinions on t/b dynamics for satosugu and to learn why others may feel differently. actually, stsg is the first yaoi ship ive been this invested in, though it's been a while now, and reading fics for them has opened up a Lot of doors of thought for me that i wanna talk to someone about. but there's such hostility around the topic that opening that discussion up to the general fandom public hardly feels worth the risk, as much as i want to. that kinda leaves one floating out at sea here. so i have these conversations where i can, but i'll also block people over simple things. not because i think they're evil or their opinions are invalid, but because i really do just want to have fun, and previous fandom experiences have exhausted me with how much of the same repetitive venom i can personally handle at once

welcome back anon, and feel free to ramble away. honestly this has been a nice side quest for me during the thesis-ing, believe it or not.

if you want to have discussions/share takes on stsg (or fandom meta), then feel free to keep sending them anon, and i am happy to host that discussion in our friendly little corner. i haven't gotten anything nasty in my inbox, and i think everyone commenting and engaging with the posts on my blog is pretty friendly and level headed :)

i think it's possible that some people could get offended by your previous ask? but it's very obvious, to me, anyway, that what you are saying with "t/b discourse is dumb" is "this drama is dumb why are we doing this why can't we just have fun". you can twist the words, but that's the clear sentiment that I think 99% of us are trying to get across here.

and that also does not conflict with empathizing with and supporting people who have been targeted by this harassment. in fact, i would say out of anyone, they are probably most securely in the camp of "this drama is dumb please let's stop".

as @fushiglow pointed out, part of the reason fandom can get so vicious is due to depersonalization. none of these people would be acting so fuckin foolish in person. but across the screen, it is a lot safer and easier to be an absolute asshole than when you have to look someone in the face as you tell them that they are literal scum for your opinions on dick in ass, or something.

over the past few months i have been struggling with this in reverse, actually. one of my gaming group members almost definitely voted for trump (white women... we need to talk). i get so worked up when i think about it, because i hate her for it, especially her reasons for it (she is antichoice). and yet, when I see her in person, when we hang out, it is so easy to remember that she is my friend and she held my hair back when I was puking after my other gamer friends gave me too many free beers (blue moon isn't worth it guys).

one other thing i would like to add, and part of why i'm so happy to post this ask, is that conversations are not sentences. you get to clarify. you get to add. you get to change your mind. real 'discourse' (note: this word has lost all meaning in the year of our lord 2025) or debate is an exchange of ideas, whether it's about dick in ass or how we react socially in the situation of being attacked for dick in ass. keeping the conversation going to clarify these things, like your intent with the last ask, is important and necessary! it's what keeps us from being xitter/bluesky. we don't need to live as zingers and soundbytes on a text-based forum. we have the space to express ourselves fully, as many times as that takes. and i think that helps build back the empathy that is lost with the lack of face-to-face, voice-to-voice communication in online spaces.

so in the words of the great philosophers re: t/b discourse:

any hole's a goal

[yandereparadox]

Yandere! Male Blue Diamond Headcanons!

(Mkay, No one has asked for it, but for some reason, I haven't stopped thinking about it for the last two hours. So here you go Blue Diamond lovers!) ---------- TW/ Trigger Warning: Manipulation, Isolation, yandere tendencies, violence. Gender: Anyone Author Notes: My mind is full of Male Blue Diamond. Enjoy! -------------------------------------------------------------

-Actually, the yandere type is a strange combination of self-sacrificing, possessive and manipulative. -Oh, my dear! He loves you so much, he would give his life if necessary, he would give the breaking point of his gem just to be able to save your life!…. -Then… Why don't you love him, why do you show so much rejection towards him, isn't he enough for you? -You have to admit it, the poor baby will blame himself for not being enough to be loved by an extraordinary creature like you, he will blame himself for not having pampered you enough or not being worthy of you. -Although, he doesn't express it the first times you reject him, even if the air turns blue, he will try to hide his tears as much as possible, he can't show himself so weak for you. -Even though, in his heart and the deepest part of his soul, it hurts like being broken again and again and again until his gem is shattered. You will even be able to hear little sobs after he himself withdrew from his discussion because of your frustrated attempt to escape. -I couldn't believe the sapphire! You were planning to escape?! You were ungrateful! -He could scream at you while crying, blaming you for everything, blaming you for not loving him betraying his own feelings of not deserving you. -He's given you everything! -And you were planning to escape from his clutches arms?! -Just like White, he will punish you by locking you in the tower all alone, or perhaps with Pink's company if he would have thrown a tantrum or punched his pearl to pieces. But, the most common punishment for him would be to always have you in his arms, his shoulder or even his lap. Briefings, hearings, Pink's dances, resting in his palanquin. At least you will be obediently seated waiting for him to finish his duties as authority. And maybe…he'll give you little kisses on your cheeks or neck.

But, if you play your cards right…..

-You'll be spoiled rotten in gifts or even a small sector of rubies to protect you, almost like your personal pets. A pearl? Of course, my dear. Would you like to participate in Pink's ball? Sure, be careful. Do you want to sleep next to him? Oh well, you'll sleep, he doesn't need to sleep. All your needs will be met, as long as you don't try a little escape trick or talk too fondly with another inferior gemstone. -He admits it, he hates to see you too close to your pearl. But, he will secretly hate it, the only times he will express his feelings to you will be in his extraction chamber, when you are alone. Otherwise, he will try to emotionally manipulate you into empathizing with him. Although, that action will intensify threefold the more escape attempts you make. He might even use small physical punishments on Yellow's advice.

Anyway, he knows you are a good human to him, his human to himself. -He understands the concepts humans have for a boyfriend or a husband, he considers it a precious act as for savages like Darling's kind. So, he himself and without asking, oh well, he will subtly ask that little formality. -If you accept, he'll be the happiest diamond in eons, his little human being his! Isn't it so nice to have someone for eternity?

And if you don't, don't worry, he'll push you so hard and manipulate you so damn well that you'll feel like a monster for turning him down.

-Perhaps Pink was right…humans are very…cute. ........................................................................................................................... Hellooo, Anons. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, it was fun to write about Blue Diamond. Don't forget to ask for more diamonds, I'll gladly write your craziest scenarios! *Wink, wink* Ha, That´s all, Kisses!!

[fintan-pyren]

I love you, but now I want to burn all "chat is a fourth person pronoun" anything like WHAT THE HELL WHY IS THAT A FUCKING THING???!!!!

It irritates me so much. So many of my mutuals, who I typically view as intelligent people with reasonably good critical thinking skills, have reblogged posts about it.

And the main post they're reblogging is just...nonsensical. They throw in words like "panopticon" and literary references to make it sound intellectual, but if you actually read it, it's so clear that they're not actually saying anything.

They assert that chat is a fourth person pronoun because it refers to people on the other side of the fourth wall, but then they just talk about what the fourth wall is for a while without actually relating it to their point in any way. And then they end the post with "so yeah, that's why it's a fourth person pronoun :)", even though they provided no justification for that whatsoever in their post.

To me, it feels like something that should be obviously wrong to anyone reading the post, but I've learned during my time on Tumblr that people here don't read posts :( and are also really stupid :(

[curse-d-owl]

As a disclaimer i don't condemn anyone for liking a character i don't like nor liking a concept that wasn't properly executed ( unlike a lot of people in this godforsaken fanbasen ) so don't view my response as an attack.

I'm a fan of Claude but i like him critically and acknowledge and criticise the parts of his character that are offensive and badly written. One such example is that he's cool with violent racists like Hilda and Ingrid and can even marry them.

That being said Cyril isn't handled properly and his relationship with Rhea isnt healthy nor wholesome.

But before I can begin i want to debunk @themoomoorn's deliberately bad faith arguments regarding Claude.

You resort to cherrypicking to paint a false narrative all so that you can justify your hatred against Claude. The rest of the support literally proves the exact opposite. He doesn't enforce his will onto Cyril cause of his status and he isn't upset at Cyril wants to remain in Fodlan. Infact does the exact opposite.

Like i said Claude isn't without his bad writing but to talk as if your faves are innocent is hysterical.

Rhea is complicit in the oppression of Duscur and Brigid and aids Kleiman in killing Duscur rebels.

Dimitri the supposed ally of Duscur and noble leader callously said that the Duscur rebels dying in vain for the sake of his racist soldiers is the best outcome when prior to that he was foaming at the mouth over Byleth rightfully making that statement against Lonato's forces

And Byleth supports them both, says nothing about the extremely racist members of the central church refusing Dedue's aid in helping with the assassination plot cause his people are accused of being inherently evil, accuse Dedue of kidnapping Flayn, want to kill all the downtrodden refugees and foreigners of Abyss by purging them and says nothing about Ingrid's racist remarks against Duscur.

Feel free to dislike Claude but don't act like you do it for moral reasons when you give your worse faves a free pass.

And the audacity for you and your friends to accuse me of making shit up, denying canon and "fetishizing" dark skinned characters when you're the ones romanticizing and defending the white saviour narrative and the dark skinned servants that worship them is hypocrisy and projections at its finest.

If Edelgard "saved" Cyril or Dedue and they were her subservient vassals you'd never argue against the claim that their relationship is unhealthy and racist.

It's not a matter of what that's important to you but a matter of who, just like 95% of this fanbase.

With that out the way let me explain why Cyril's character and relationship to Rhea is extremely racist and unhealthy.

For starters hating minorities doesn't begin and end with saying slurs, it's prejudice + power.

Rhea has power over Fodlan's laws

The other regions and rulers answer to Rhea and not the other way around

She practices nationalism through her laws. She banned a Dagdan refugee for practicing her own religion and said religion was deemed demonic.

Rulers and lords with less power than Rhea have given the oppressed foreign nations their due reperations and support.

In contrast Rhea only intervenes when she wants to oppress other nations for her own benefit either by aiding Faerghus in killing Duscur rebels or oppressing Brigid for herself in cf proving she could've helped them but refused.

An foreign orphan that was subjected to cruel slavery being told to do the same for Rhea instead of living the life a child should live isn't noble, it's utterly disgusting. He only gets to stay here because he has to pay rent in the form of harsh slavery.

In his support with Mercedes Cyril suffered from so much racism at the hands of the central church to the point hes shocked that people from Fodlan like Ashe and Mercedes consider him their friend.

Cyril states that Rhea gets mad when other people do his job for him in his B support with Byleth

Seteth acknowledges that his current lifestyle as Rhea's "errand boy" is so awful that anything that it requires something far worse to call his current life a paradise in his support with Cyril

In the end of their support conversations he says that Rhea can decide whether or not Cyril can stop repaying his debt

Like Dedue he only likes pleasing their white "saviour" because he's mentally and emotionally damaged from the abuse he faced and never healed from these traumatic experience.

His devotion and one-sided relationship is so unhealthy that he skips sleep and meals just to please an already privileged ruler in his A support with Byleth

He is so dangerously devoted to Rhea that he follows her to heinous crimes attrocities without question by sacrificing the very citizens that have been loyal to Rhea and depend on her protection.

Cyril saying he likes living an inhuman and unhealthy life is about as realistic as Byleth loving and defending Edelgard when it's revealed shes the flame emperor they vehemently despise. It's not.

And last and certainly not least writers against dark skinned races.

Dimitri's double standards regarding Duscur is one of many examples, dark skinned characters respond to their lives being saved with eternal servitude and worshipping and having dark skinned characters worship and be subservient white characters is extremely racist cause it mirrors the gross history of slavery.

Claiming that Cyril and Dedue worshipping their white "saviours" isn't racist is like claiming Pocahontas isn't racist towards native Americans.

Despite the fact i call out how disgusting the writing behind Cyril is that doesn't mean I'm against the idea of a healthy relationship between him and Rhea. Or at the very least have his needless sense of being eternally indebted to Rhea actually be challenged and have him recover from it so that he can have a healthy relationship with Rhea.

Before this post gets any longer than it already is i'll out my explanation of Rhea's power over Fodlan and her nationalistic crimes under a read more.

Rhea has might and influence over Fodlan whole all the other rulers and nobles are obligated to obey her.

She has the combined might of both the knights of Seiros and Faerghus on her side, Leicester can't make their own changes nor move in cohesion cause of the roundtable and opportunistic nobles that look out for themselves and prior to Edelgard reclaiming her power as an emperor, preparing for war and her disinformation campaign against Rhea Adrestia had neither the unity nor the benefit of attacking the central church.

Fodlan is the way it is largely due to Rhea, which includes her nationalism.

Foreigners cannot live on equal footing and their only place is either as Rhea's servant or rotting in Abyss.

She deported a Dagdan refugee for practicing her own faith cause Rhea deems it as demonic

She allowed Adrestia to vassalize Brigid and kidnap their princess to be locked up as a political hostage and suffered abuse at the hands of racist Adrestians.

And she is complicit in the colonizing of both Duscur and Sreng and the only reason the latter isn't fully killed and conquered is cause Macuil used the same power as Rhea did to unintentionally prevent Lambert, Rodrigue and Matthias from colonizing Sreng.

Rulers and nobles with less like Sylvain, Dimitri and a small force like Byleth's in Silver Snow succeeded in doing what Rhea refused to do. Sylvain made amends with the people of Sreng, Dimitri fought civil wars for Duscur to reclaim their homeland and every non cf army liberated Brigid from the empire's imperialism.

In cf even with the fall of Leicester Rhea's army was capable of oppressing Brigid herself proving that she could've helped Brigid a lot earlier but refused.

On top of that in the present day in Houses she aids Faerghus in commiting the same crimes Nemesis committed against her, killing the natives, stealing their land and preventing them from getting their homes back.

So about Rhea and Cyril’s relationship

Is there a scene I just didn’t find where Rhea is abusing Cyril or is that just a fandom headcanon? I’m being genuine btw I wanna know where Rhea hating minorities came from, (if she dislikes one race and that’s the human race y’all 😭)

[vaguely-concerned]

the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh

[oh-katsuki]

yk when someone dies and you just have to... sit with it.. and you're like... how do i tell people something is wrong. how do i tell people who never met them or knew them or spoke to them that something happened. and it feels selfish somehow to even talk about it out loud but at the same time for some reason you feel like you have to. like somehow you're telling a lie or being disrespectful or being self-indulgent. when the reality is that you just don't want to be alone in grief. but they didn't know them and even after saying something, you're alone anyway.

[aeolianblues]

I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life