#and there's a lot to say and analyze about that and it doesn't MATTER that that's not what george wanted to talk about
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OK I just read through this article and I think this argument about student engagement is interesting because while the circumstances/constraints of higher education have changed the writer doesn't really show that English class discussions were "more in-depth" than they were previously. just that the current go-to mode is saying that things are problematic. and I genuinely don't know if students in previous decades had their own tropes or resistances, but "this text is problematic" feels a lot like "the curtains are blue because the writer liked blue." -- i.e. it sounds like the emphasis on "problematic" is a red herring. by which, I mean, the students are commenting on the text without analyzing it -- and it's exactly that analysis they should be practicing and being taught in class. so I am not saying, oh this phenomenon doesn't matter at all, but rather that it feels flawed to denigrate students on being bad at analysis when they are exactly in the process of learning analysis. I think I would find the arguments being made here more compelling if they focused on the students' senior papers, for example -- like, are students are so uncurious that they are unwilling/unable to develop the analytic capacity over the course of their four years of instruction? because that would be more of a headline imo.
âSome scholars observe that, in classrooms today, the initial gesture of criticism can seem to carry more prestige than the long pursuit of understanding. One literature professor and critic at Harvard - not old or white or male - noticed that it had become more publicly rewarding for students to critique something as âproblematicâ than to grapple with what the problems might be; they seemed to have found that merely naming concerns had more value, in todayâs cultural marketplace, than curiosity about what underlay them.â
- âThe End of the English Majorâ in The New Yorker
#also it's goofy that the reporter is going to harvard when famously ivy league schools are not actually filled with the best and brightest#but rather the wealthiest and most-connected#like maybe the headline really needs to be#consequences of oligarchic college acceptance process revealed
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You know, funnily enough, I actually can use the canonical enslavement of the clones as a point of criticism against the Jedi and senate and all other characters in Star Wars. And I do. Because the clones are literal, by-definition slaves. And it is a worthwhile point of criticism regardless of narrative framing because the heroes very literally and textually use slave labor to fight their fundamentally unjust war. Like it happens right on-screen, no ambiguity about it at all. And it doesn't matter that talking about it isn't how you "professionally analysis media" because I'm not getting paid to call George Lucas and Co. an insufferable hack, I do this for free and fun! For the joy of calling the creator of a slave army of brown men a cunt! And also yes I apply it to every single character in Star Wars and consider them all at least mildly evil for accepting the widespread evil of slavery to exist, nay, flourish unchecked, and that actually supports my analysis of Star Wars, to wit: age up the intended audience about 10 years and it's just Game of Thrones In Space. Everyone is shit, they all suck, there's no winning only widescale losing because the fights are literally never going to not be about stupid esoteric religious bullshit and maintaining the status quo in favor of the rich elite at the expense of the actual fucking people. Ta-da.
#god i love finding new stupid bullshit takes to block people over#everyone being evil actually IS a worthwhile exploration and analysis of the gffa#bcuz the heroes literally use a slave army to force and coerce people out of trying to leave a corrupt government actively hostile to them#and there's a lot to say and analyze about that and it doesn't MATTER that that's not what george wanted to talk about#WE want to talk about it motherfucker we don't need that musty bitch's permission#this is LITERALLY what death of the author is FOR#star wars#the clone wars#by apples#fandom bullshit#fandom slapfight
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Lnds: Red tinted lover
Warning: No warnings! GN!reader, fluff and teasing.
Author's note: Inspired by a cute ramble of anon!
What makes Zayne blush:
Compliment him and brag about him in front of his peers and yours. Being his lover, you observed a lot of things from him. Zayne performs minuscule acts of kindness when the situation calls for it, and sometimes, he does it in private, hidden from others' sight. When you bring these up, most people are impressed, but Zayne, on the other hand, is just beside you or nearby, listening to you ramble about his actions.
"You're super red."
"I am not," he politely replied.
"Yes, you are," you said in a singsong. "You're super red like a tomato. Is it because I complimented you a lot?"
Zayne doesn't respond and avoids eye contact. You cup his cheeks, and he is forced to look at you, wide eyes wide open. What he sees is your cheeky grin; behind it is the real intent of why you said those things about him. "Aren't you just the cutest? The cold and stoic Dr. Zayne blushing because his lover complimented him. Wouldn't that make a good headline for the hospital publication?"
You grab the opportunity to pinch his nose lightly, and he pulls away, no less red than before.
"You're so cute, I just want toâ" You made a gesture of your fingers squeezing his cheeks.
"I can't help but think that you orchestrated this to get a reaction from me."
"Maybe I did, maybe not." You shrugged with a chuckle, giving him a sly expression.
"Cunning as always." The surgeon shook his head and turned away, hoping that he would return to his original complexion before someone else saw him.
What makes Rafayel blush:
Claim him and be jealous. Rafayel is naturally a magnet for people. No matter how much he likes his peace, people would flock to him all the time, both boys and especially girls. Sometimes, he has a hard time turning people down and is overwhelmed by their presence; he's sometimes unable to refuse a picture or two. That's when you come in. Confidently, you would hook yourself onto his arm and lean on him. When people ask who you are, you would say your name. And when people ask what you are to Rafayel, you would simply reply: "I'm Rafayel's wife. Do you need something from my husband?". The ladies who had ulterior motives backed away almost instantly.
"You're really a woman magnet, aren't you Rafaâ" You turn to look at him in exasperation but pause. "Rafayel?"
The artist was avoiding your eyes. He was facing you, but his head was turned elsewhere, and he was biting his lip. Moreover, his cheeks and neck were severely red, almost looking like a rash.
"Are you alright? Is it the alcohol?"
He gave you the silent treatment for a good 15 seconds before saying: "You really know how to get me going. Calling yourself my wife and all."
"Hey, I was helping you out there!"
"You're really bold."
You can't help but analyze him for a moment. He doesn't seem offended, and you didn't do anything particularly wrongïżœïżœ
Is heâŠ
"Are you feeling shy?"
He glared at you, puffing his cheeks. A hearty laugh escaped your lips. Rafayel narrowed his eyes even more.
You press up against him and go on your tippy toes, smirking. "You're feeling shy because I called you my husband, weren't you?"
"Did not." He crossed his arms over his chest, but everything else says yes.
"Did too." You pinch both sides of his cheek, and he stares at you in awe.
"Aren't you a little bashful pufferfish?" He took a step back and turned around, facing the wall to avoid your little confrontation. But you can still see the nape of his neck, and his ears turn maddeningly red.
"Cutie~"
"You're getting more shameless by the minute. Once we get home, I'll take my revenge on you!"
"Sure you wouldâlittle blushing pufferfish." You cooed, slapping his butt before walking away.
"I swear on my words!" You hear him say.
What makes Sylus blush:
You can make Sylus blush if you boldly flirt with him and touch his butt. Being a feared man would mean that people would want to spend little to no time talking to him unless it's a negotiationâit's no surprise that people are on edge if they're talking face-to-face with a dangerous leader. When it comes to you, however, it looks like you don't fear anything in life when you try to pretend that you're a stranger and hit on him like one would in a bar.
"Hey, hot stuff," you're pressed against the doorframe, looking too suave for your own good. "You new here?"
He stares at you while he garnishes the steak on the plate. He raised an eyebrow. "Yes," he said simply, but evidently playing along with your antics.
"Do you need someone to accompany you, handsome?" you asked, walking closer.
"I am an engaged man," he matter-of-factly stated with a nod, turning to his task once more. "A loyal one at that."
While he does whatever he's doing, your eyes land on the prize. "Really now?"
That perky gifted butt, accentuated by his slim-fit black pants. You licked your lips and walked casually to where he was. "A wife shouldn't leave his husband alone now, shall they?"
He hummed.
"You're too handsome to be tied to a single woman," you whispered. "Care for another cuter company?"
When he looked at you, you slapped his ass.
He shot up and gripped the pepper mill tighter. Sylus let out a singular laugh, placing it down on the counter and rubbing his face, hiding the reddishness of his ears. "You really ought to know who you're dealing with, sweetie."
He pushed himself away from the counter and walked closer to you, a sense of doom swallowing you as he got closer and closer with every step. Sylus bent down and picked you up by your knees, throwing you over his shoulder before a loud slap reverberated in the room.
Sylus returned the gesture to your ass.
He began walking towards the bedroom. "Sylus, I'm just kidding! No! Sylus! No! Ah?!" You clawed and held on to the doorframe, your life flashing before your eyes.
What makes Xavier blush:
Coax him to do something cute. It was easy to make Xavier blush as long as you were in the right environment. Sometimes, making him blush deliberately is also easy if you manage to play your cards right. It's not that he hates acting cute, but no one ever really asks him to do those things and wear cutesy stuff, so when you ask him to do it, he's a bit reluctant, but he doesn't want to disappoint.
"I promise I did not eat the last cake slice." Xavier placed his hand on his chest.
"Hmm. I don't believe you." You held out the empty Tupperware with an accusatory glare thrown at your boyfriend. "Wear the headband behind you and say 'Nyaa' three times. If you don't, then you're lying."
His eyes went wide. He slowly turned behind him and saw a conveniently placed cat ear headband resting on the console table. He held it and looked into your eyes with pity; a part of him smelled like something was going on, but you kept up the angry facade.
He sighed and put the headband on. Balling his fists and letting out cute 'nyaa~'s. With every sound he makes, he turns a shade darker until his face is fully red, and his eyes dart away from you.
He kept his little 'paws' near his chin. You held back a laugh. You were just messing with him. He seemed so innocent looking at you when you were madâand maybe it was payback for last week when he hogged the blanket all to himself.
"I'm just joking, Xav." You pulled in closer, nudging his head to look up at you. You placed a kiss on his cheek.
"What?" you hear him say in disbelief, stricken with how you made a fool of him. Before he could retaliate at all, you opened your mouth and folded your lips inward to cover the tip of your teeth. You chomped on his face and pushed his face against yours.
"Mhmp!" he let out, holding on to your wrists. His cheek just looked so edible.
You let out a loud pop when you released him from your mighty grasp.
"You like making fun of me, don't you?" He was now glaring at you, albeit tenderly. There was a red mark left on his cheek, and you felt guilty for munching on it.
"Hehe~"
"In that case, let me bite you tooâŠ" Xavier yanked on your wrists, and the world suddenly began to tilt.
"Xavier, noâ"
Author footnotes: I made Zayne and Xavier blush in game and I realized I was smiling stupid :>
Layout by me, using canva premium | Do not repost
#lnds#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#lnds sylus#lnds rafayel#love and deepspace xavier#xavier love and deepspace#lads xavier#xavier x reader#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#sylus#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus x reader#sylus love and deepspace#rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#loveanddeepspace#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace mc#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#lads zayne#l&ds zayne#dr zayne#li shen#l&ds rafayel#l&ds#l&ds xavier
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Of Our Own Devices â Part Two
For @erisweekofficial Day 2: Legacy
Pairing: Reader x Eris
Summary: Eris Vanserra carries a legacy of cruelty, a reputation forged in whispers and fear. But something doesn't quite fit anymore. Youâre beginning to think that the male doesn't truly match the legend he's left behind.
Warnings: brief mentions of abuse, cruelty, injury, battling to death, introspection? like a lot, readers head is soooo big from these big thoughts
Word Count: 3.1k
did someone say eris week mini series???? technically can be read as a stand alone, just squint
Part One | Part Three
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When Eris Vanserra was born, his mother wept in the bathroom for hours after.
Her trembling hands muffled her soft cries as her handmaidens swaddled a newborn Eris in fine cloth. Beron hadnât been there for most of the birthâhadnât held her hand the way her father had held her motherâs. He came only at the end, just in time to praise the heir as he left her womb, presenting him like a trophy before promptly leaving for court business.
She was still young, felt like a child herselfâ at least in her own mind. So, while she loved her son dearly, his birth had cemented her fate to a male she didnât love, a male whose hands she feared more than death itself.
His mother loved him, this Eris knew. Even at a young age, he felt that love. It burned in him like a comforting flame, the same warmth as the heavy blanket she would tuck around him at night or the sunlight that seeped into his skin on warm afternoons.
And yet, even surrounded by that love, Eris grew up lonely.
His loneliness led him to finding a home in curiosity, in sticking his pointed nose into matters that often didnât concern him, picking out small details he'd unconsciously store for later. He was a collector from the beginningâof people, of excuses, of emotions he had yet to name.
Perhaps that was why he was so sickeningly fond of you, so starkly different from the others, equally curious, equally lonely.
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It wasn't Eris who people met first.
It was his reputation.
Eldest son of the High Lord, equal parts cunning and cruel, a loyal soldier with the venom of a viper. Anguish seemed to follow him, seemed to follow any with Vanserra blood, but there was something distinct about Eris, something divinely alluring. Terrifyingly sinful.
It was all true. So you weren't sure why it bothered you so much when your patrons talked about him, when his name was thrown into conversations surrounding the High Lord.
Your family's tavern was always filled with stories. Its dimly lit, worn wooden tables had overheard more whispered secrets and slurred confessions than you could ever count. Most nights were like this, with drinks spilling over into the laps of locals, the hum of conversation swirling in the air like smoke from the hearth. Tucked in a corner of the courtâs lands, it was a place for those not high enough to feast in grand halls but not low enough to beg in the streets. It wasnât glamorous, but it was home. A comfortable middle ground.
You placed a handful foaming drinks before the three males at the bar, taking a moment to analyze their appearance. They were relatively large, muscular builds hinting at some form of laborious profession. The callouses on their hands told you that they handled weapons often. But their clothes weren't nice enough to be one of Beron's men, weren't tailored enough to be one of Eris's either. Perhaps they were border patrollers, the lowest and grimiest of the forces.
They thanked you with lingering, appraising eyes as you moved away to fetch more drinks.
âI heard,â one of the them said, leaning closer to his companions, âthat the eldest boy has a new game he plays with those who cross him. A real spectacle.â
The male next to him, the oldest of the three, nodded eagerly. âThey say heâs got a private arena where he forces traitors to fight each other to the death. Itâs supposed to be brutalânothing but blood and screams. And Eris just sits there, like itâs a grand show.â
You clenched your teeth, turning around to face the wall behind you, forcing yourself to attend to the pile of glasses waiting to be wiped down. You tried to focus on your task, hoping to drown out their disturbing conversation, but it was no use. You could feel your grip tightening on the material of the rag, knuckles white as they continued to talk, their voices growing louder and louder with every drink they took.
It was a lie. A rumor. Nothing more.
Yes, Eris was cruel. He was manipulative and calculated. But you'd seen slivers of something else, something brighter, kinder, even. While you believed that a male should face the consequences of his actions, there was no honor in perpetuating lies that simply werenât true.
It made no sense, anyway. Eris had done plenty of questionable things. There were multitudes of actions to choose from, many things worthy of criticism. There was no need to indulge in falsehoods. The image they painted of Erisâa male reduced to a sadistic spectator in a grotesque spectacleâseemed far removed even from him.
âA grand show?â the third scoffed. âHeâs not just watching. Heâs placing bets on whoâll survive, like itâs some sick sport. Itâs all for his amusement. Iâve heard he gets pleasure out of the carnage. Let's his hounds ravage the bodies.â
A knot tightened in your chest and you gripped the glassware harder, cloth bunching in your grasp. Before you could register the motion yourself, you spun around, the movement abrupt enough to make the males flinch.
"You have no idea what you're talking about," you sneered. The males stiffened, large angry eyes boring into yours. You continued. "Bold of you to traverse around spreading rumors of a High Lord's son. Be grateful he isn't around to correct you himself."
You blinked, the anger draining away as quickly as it had surged, leaving a wave of embarrassment in its place. You took in the maleâs facesâinitially stunned, then quickly morphing into anger. It was an expected reaction from those who felt their pride wounded, especially from males who had just been scolded by a low-court fae like yourself.
You straightened, trying to regain your composure as you cleared your throat.
The largest of the men leaned forward, his eyes narrowing with a sneer. âWell, well, boys,â he drawled, his voice dripping with disdain. âI think our pretty little bartender might be one of the Princelingâs whores.â
You weighed your options as you stood there, hand still gripping the glass. For a fleeting moment, you were tempted to shatter it over his head. The thought of the glass breaking, of the shards embedding themselves in his skin, was almost satisfying.
But you didn't. Your father would be angry, would be disappointed above all. You needed the business.
You took a deep breath and your grip on the glass loosened.
âAllow me to apologize,â you said. âIt seems Iâm more sensitive about our courtâs reputation than I realized. I donât know what came over me. How about a round on the house?â
Their faces shifted to smug satisfaction as they accepted the offer with eager grins and, soon, their cups were filled once more. As they happily downed their next round of drinks, you slipped out from behind the bar.
The doorâs bell chimed softly as you stepped outside, itching to find the heir that was imprinted into your mind.
Strangely enough, you knew exactly where he'd be.
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You found him in a clearing south of The Forest House, an expansive area bathed in the warm light of the afternoon sun. It was a dedicated space for the hounds, adorned in various obstacles that Eris used during their trainingâwooden jumps, tunnels, and agility courses set up with careful precision. You'd seen the area of land a handful of times before, times when Lucien found Eris to argue or hurl curses.
You approached carefully, watching as Eris kneeled by one of the hounds, gently tending to what seemed to be a cut on its paw.
After a moment, he finally looked up, his gaze meeting yours. The corners of his mouth quirked upwards and a playful glint manifested in his eyes.
"Even after all these years, a vixen without a fox at her side is still a strange sight."
You gritted your teeth, taking a deep breath as your eyes roamed the face of the male before you.
It was an unnecessary jab.
Lucien hadnât been by your side for centuries now. Though you had visited him as often as you could, the friendship you once shared had changed. He had changed. You had, too. You'd grown into your life at Autumnâmanaging the tavern that bore your familyâs name and living vicariously through the stories that came your way.
The last time you had seen Lucien was marked by a change. You'd looked into his eyes and somehow understood that things were different beyond what had been anticipated.
"Why do you do that?" You asked. "Be a dick when you don't need to be?"
Eris stood, brushing his hands clean as the hound trotted away to rejoin the rest. He narrowed his eyes at you for a moment, a scrutinizing, analyzing moment. Then he offered you a shrug, something so casual and dismissive. You were sure it would've warded off anyone else, that his disinterestedness would have begun to tired them already, turn them the other way.
"Maybe it's part of my charm," he finally responded, "Or maybe I'm just a dick."
He made no attempt to hide the amusement in his voice as he emphasized your insult. Eris had been called many thingsâ you'd heard them, even delivered a few of the titles. But so far, you were the only one to call him two things: a dick, and a prick. Perhaps it was delusion, but you swore that he seemed to enjoy it when you said such things, seemed to smirk in a way that wasn't just cruel, but impressed.
You rolled your eyes. "Most wouldn't wear that title with such pride."
He narrowed his eyes for a moment, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. "What's the use in denying my nature?"
You sighed, a sound of frustration, of annoyance. "Do you not grow bored of your little games?"
Eris rolled his shoulders and straightened his back. He always had immaculate posture, his stature was often so perfect that it was almost uncomfortable to witness. It emphasized his wealth, somehowâ emphasized his power. He towered over you even more now.
"Did you seek me out solely to criticize me?"
You bit the inside of your cheek. "No."
"Then why?"
You still weren't entirely sure why you had come.
"Perhaps I was bored."
Eris raised an eyebrow. "Do you not have any friends?"
You bristled. "I have plenty." You paused, allowing your gaze to settle on the view before you, on the open land and the animals that in the open expanse. You turned back to Eris. "It's you that doesn't seem to have any. Your only companionship recently seems to be those hounds. I'm surprised you're not running on all fours."
Eris's expression shifted. He let out a small chuckle and you fought against the twitch in your lips, cursed the warmth that blossomed in your chest. But the amusement dissipated from his face soon after, replaced be a resolve of cold indifference. His eyes seemed tired in this light.
"As much as IâŠenjoy our little talks," He began after a moment, "I didn't ask for company. You should find someone who wants it."
A small sense of rejection passed through your skin like a cold, morning chill. You were never foolish enough to think Eris would welcome your presence with open arms and a smile, never naive enough to consider yourself anything more than semi-peaceful acquaintances. But still, there was something deep within you that wished heâd show you something beyond the disregard he showed others.
That wasn't a fool's wishâ because you knew it was possible.
You'd seen it.
Strangely enough, you had. In the stolen glances when he thought no one was looking, how he lingered after you stumbled, offered a hand before quickly retracting it. There had been flowers at your door after your mother passed of Autumn fever, an unusual number of wealthy patrons who had frequented your fatherâs tavern for months afterward, tipping generously despite only having a drink or two. They all adorned attire of a specific, deep green that youâd come to recognize easilyâthe shade often worn by Erisâs personal guard.
His name was never attached to any of it, but you could trace it back to him. You'd always wondered why he'd never taken credit, never basked in somehow proving your presumptions about him wrong.
Twenty-nine year old you, freshly bonded to Lucien after he'd stumbled across your father's tavern, would be shocked that centuries later, she'd be spending more time alongside his cruel brother than Lucien himself.
Youâd had an image of Eris back thenâan image painted by Lucienâs words. It was accurate, to an extent. You never doubted your best friendâs judgment, never questioned the stories of cruelty and ambition that followed Eris like a shadow. He had, indeed, made Lucien suffer. There were reasons he disliked his brothers so deeply, reasons you knew were valid.
But you were curious by nature, always craving to understand things deeply, intricately. And Eris Vanserra called to you like a riddle from an ancient taleâdangerous, alluring, and impossible to ignore.
Above all else, you wanted answers. Throughout the years, Eris had never called upon your bargain, never asked for a favor, never even mentioned the price youâd paid for that first visit with Lucien. Not once.
It unnerved you.
"I don't understand you," you said, without realizing the words had fallen from your lips.
You hadn't intended on voicing it so blatantly. You weren't quite sure how Eris would respond, how he would interpret your words. It was a tossup, really, between a snarky response or something condescending, something to make you feel silly, naive.
Silence.
Eris shifted, turning his body to look out into the horizon before him.
"Not everything in life is meant to be understood."
You paused.
Eris was complicated. Unfortunately for you, you loved complicated. It wasn't boring. It made you think, made you wonder. You gravitated towards the eldest Vanserra more often than you'd like to admit. It was easier now, you decided, since Lucien's watchful eye wasn't around. He didn't have to witness your betrayal first hand, didn't have to see as you attempted to find something in his brother. You weren't sure what that something was, but you were certain you were searching for it. You had been for years.
"That's not true. I can understand things if I try hard enough."
Eris played idly with the rings on his hands. "You set yourself up for disappointment, Vixen," he said to the empty air before him, not turning to look at you. "Why does everything need to have a deeper meaning?"
You studied his face further. Noting the lines etched around his eyes and the set of his jaw. He was beautiful. You werenât one to deny itâall of the Vanserras were. But where Lucien had been handsome, radiating a gentle charm that made you blush with every lingering gaze, Eris was more akin to the sharp edge of the seasonâs chillâstriking, with an air of regal severity. His amber eyes alone seemed to hold the crisp, unyielding essence of autumn itselfâbeautiful, but not without its bite.
"It doesn't need to," you replied. "But it often does. I think details are important."
He didn't respond as he turned to face you. You glanced up at him, his eyes fixed on yours with an intensity that seemed almost tangible.
"You've never lied to me," you stated. It was a statement more than it was a question.
"No," Eris replied.
His gaze didn't waver. You were almost impressed that you'd managed to hold his stare for so long. No one had ever looked at you like this beforeâso deeply, so penetrating. You understood now how his mere gaze could make people crumble, understood the rumors of how he only took his partners from behind, how he never made eye contact.
You pushed away the burning thoughts that arose.
"Is it true?" Your gaze bounced around his face. "Do you force your traitors to fight for your amusement? Place bets on them like animals?"
Eris's eyes flickered with something dark, but he didn't move.
"Do you think it is?" he countered.
You shook your head. You were certain of your answer, but you needed to hear his. "No. I don't."
The corner of his mouth twitched upward, and he gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. "Then itâs not," he said simply.
His expression revealed nothing more as you scanned his face. He didn't seem startled by your question, didn't seem confused at the context. He was aware of the rumors, of the stories circulating like the last morsels of food at a feastâpassed around, savored, and eagerly consumed.
"It doesn't bother you? That these lies exist?"
A hint of confusion crossed his features, as if the question itself was somewhat absurd.
"Why would it?"
You blinked, momentarily retracting into yourself.
As a hound trotted up to Eris, his attention shifted. He crouched down, meeting the beast at its level. The gentle manner with which the hound regarded him, the affection in its eyes, stirred something inside you, deep within your gut. Your father had always said that a maleâs nature could be understood through how animals responded to him.
Eris clearly cared for his hounds, and they, in turn, cared for him.
You found yourself wondering if, deep down, Eris was ever troubled by his reputation.
Lucien always had been.
He cursed the blood than ran through his veins, spent every moment trying to prove himself to be better than the legacy of his familyâ he did everything he could to avoid the curse of a wicked kin.
But then there was the male before you.
Eris, the rightful heir and firstborn son, was different.
You had always assumed he was bestowed with the legacy of the kingdom, that he was born for the role of High Lord, eagerly embracing the title and its accompanying glory. He seemed built for it, seemed to thrive under its weight.
You watched as more hounds approached him, watched as they surrounded him like a loyal fleet.
Could it be possible, you thought, that perhaps it wasn't all gifted. That it was possible Eris was burdened with the legacy of a Court?
You realized, then, that you'd never truly acknowledged that what he had become allowed for a kinder brother to grow in his wake.
The thoughts came faster, hazy, so many that your vision began to blur. It all made you itch, made you uncomfortable, made you overwhelmed and desperate for more.
None of this felt right.
You stared at Eris for a few more moments. When he stood up straight once more, about to turn toward you, you turned and ran to your horse.
You could feel his stare burning into you as you left.
âč ⶠ𧷠â¶âčÂ
reader panicking when she has deep intellectual thoughts about sexy man as he tends for his dogs. shes so me fr
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#eris x reader#eris vanserra x reader#erisweek2024#eris vanserra x you#eris vanserra#acotar x you#acotar x reader#acotar#eris acotar#eris x you#eris x y/n#autumn court#eris fanfic#eris imagine#acosf#eris vanserra acotar#eris vanserra fic#acotar fandom#pro eris vanserra#high lord eris#đfirst time participating in an event bc i love my cunty king#autumn court heir#Of Our Own Devices series
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The Fall of Spider-Man
bottom!ftm Miguel x top!masc!villain reader
đ·ïž Word Count: 1,897 đ·ïž
AFAB Language Used
CW: Non-Con, Kidnapping, Lingerie, Fingering, Squirting, Cunnilingus, Overstimulation, Crying, Corruption, Creampie, Nipple Play, Pregnancy Mention, Stockholm Syndrome (Kinda?)
Miguelâs eyes shoot open. He immediately analyzes his surroundings. Heâs tied up and on the floor. He can't see anything but he can tell heâs wearing lingerie. He feels sick. His first instinct is to try and get out of his restraints but no matter how hard he tries, nothing happens. Heâs powerless. How? Why? When? Where the hell is he? He looks around the dark room, stopping to look at a door. There's light coming from behind it and he can hear movements. Footsteps. Getting closer and closer.
âYouâre awake! Good morning, Miguel.â You smile, turning the lights on before walking towards him. âHow are you feeling?â
âWho are you?â He asks.
You give him your name. âThe person who's going to defeat Spider-Man once and for all.â You grin. âAlthough my methods are a bit unconventional.â You chuckle.
Miguel keeps his mouth shut, waiting to hear what you have to say next. Your confidence scares him. It's not like he's never met a confident villain before, it's honestly less likely to meet an insecure one, but your confidence is scary. You know something he doesn't. He knows you're dangerous. He always chooses to fight but everything inside him is screaming to run away. It's not like he has the choice now though.
âPretty soon, youâll be my beautiful husband and the father of our children.â You kiss his forehead. His heart drops. âBut first, Iâm gonna have some fun with you.â You kneel down and caress his cheek. He grimaces in disgust. âLet me give you the play by play.â You push his lacy red panties aside. âFirst, Iâm gonna play with this pretty pussy of yours and give it a lot of love.â You rub his clit. âThen, once Iâm done, Iâm gonna slide my cock inside of you. Iâll make sure to go real slow, make you feel every inch of my cock.â You bring your fingers down to his entrance and push two of them in.
âYo- you're sick.â He spits on you.
You wipe your cheek. âI didn't give you permission to speak, or spit.â You slap his cunt, earning a moan from him. âWatch yourself, Miguel.â
He looks at you angrily but doesn't say anything, too ashamed of the sound he just made and too afraid of the consequences to do so. You push your fingers in and out of his cunt, giving Miguel unwelcomed pleasure. âYou like that?â You smirk, moving faster. He bites his lip to silence his moans. âI know you do. Even if you try to deny it, your body doesn't lie.â
He hates this so much.
âAnd then, Iâll pick up the pace. Iâll fuck you rough and hard. So rough that you won't be able to think. So hard that youâll cry.â You push your fingers all the way in and thumb his clit, moving your fingers inside of him absentmindedly. He tries to fight against the pleasure but it's no use. Heâs going to come.
âIâd love to see you cry.â You grin. Heâs not going to cry. He might do a plethora of shameful things tonight but one thing he isn't going to do is cry. He refuses to. âI know you think it's impossible but it's not. And I can't wait to see you break.â You punctuate your last word with a hit to his g-spot. Miguel gasps, hips raising in the air as he squirts. Miguel looks down at himself in shame, cheeks burning hotter than a flame. Heâs never done that before. He hates that you're the reason it happened. âOh MiguelâŠâ You let out a sharp breath.
You move in between his legs and dig into his wet cunt, slurping up his slick before tonguing his sensitive hole. Miguel squirms around in protest. Why does this feel so good? He wants to curse you out but he's worried about what youâll do if he acts out. He feels terrible and so fucking good at the same time. He wants to kill you but he also doesn't want you to stop. He rolls his eyes back and squirts again, feeling extremely exhausted.
You pull away and stand up, stripping down to nothing. Miguel looks at your cock in horror. That's not going to fit! He desperately tries to get away but he can't do much in the position he's in.
âYouâre really boosting my ego, Miguel.â You chuckle, kneeling back down and grabbing his waist. You pull him close to you so his thighs are on yours and your shaft is right against his cunt. âIâm going to enjoy this.â You look at him like the 5 star meal he is. You move him so that his pussy is sliding up and down your length, bringing the both of you pleasure.
He bares his fangs, showing you how angry he is without speaking. âAw, you don't like this?â You frown, faking sympathy. âOr is it that you want something else?â You grin. âYou want me to fuck you, is that it? You want me to finally fuck you?â
Miguel shakes his head rapidly. You move him backwards, just enough for you to be able to make an easier entrance. You point your tip against his clit, smearing pre cum over it and sliding down in between his folds. You tease him with your entrance, you're gently thrusting into him but only the tip is entering him. He can't stand the feeling. You eventually stop and slowly push your cock inside of him. You weren't exaggerating when you said heâd feel every inch of you. Youâre practically tearing him apart with the way youâre stretching him out. You bite your lip, thoroughly enjoying his pussy. âI think Iâm in heaven.â
If youâre in heaven, then Miguelâs in hell. You slowly slide in and out of him, reveling in his wet warmth. âThat's right baby, sit back and take it like the pretty little slut you are.â You place your hand over the bulge of your cock on his stomach, enjoying the way it feels as you move and how sexy he looks with his tummy bulging. âYouâre doing so good for me, you know that? Doing so wellâŠâ
He doesn't want to be good for you. He doesn't want you to enjoy this. If he wasn't afraid of the consequences heâd curse you out. You rub his clit gently, causing his breathing to turn shallow. âI wanna feel you come..â You mutter. âCome for me, baby.â
He grits his teeth, trying to stop himself from giving you what you want but it's too difficult. He can't hold back. It all feels too good, his pussy feels way too good, he can't do anything to prevent this. He shuts his eyes and comes, walls fluttering around your length. âYouâre such a good boy, Miguel. You may be prickly but at least you know how to follow orders.â You caress his cheek. He turns away from your touch. âEven after all thatâŠyou're still trying to keep up this facade?â You pull away and turn him onto his stomach. âYou won't be able to pretend any longer, Miguel.â You raise his ass in the air and plunge your length fully into him. He gasps. Miguel doesn't even get a minute to adjust to the new position thanks to you suddenly pounding into him. He rolls his eyes back, letting out uncontrollable moans as you fuck the shame out of him. He can barely think over the explicit sounds of your hips snapping against his ass and the loud wet sounds of your cock sliding in and out of his sensitive pussy. You're going too fast for him to even try and act like he doesn't like it. Heâs always had a thing for being treated roughly and you're fulfilling his need for it. You pull on his hair, causing him to let out an almost scream-like moan as he squirts.
âFu- fuck-â He feels tears welling up in his eyes as you continue fucking him through his orgasm.
ââM gonna give you the child you always wanted, Miguel.â You fuck him even rougher than before, chasing your orgasm. Tears flow rapidly from Miguelâs eyes, as if there was a blockage that contained all his tears and prevented him from crying all these years. He sobs, crying loudly as you overwhelm him with pleasure. It feels good but it's too much, he can't handle it. He loves it but he needs it to stop. âAh, I love hearing you cry..â You slow down your thrusts and dump your load inside of him. Miguel uses this break to finally catch his breath and calm down.
âAw, was it too much for you, baby?â You coo, rubbing your hand down his back.
Miguel nods. âPle- please..â He whimpers.
You pull out and turn him around. You pick him up and sink him down on your cock. You place your hands on his waist and kiss his cheek. âYouâre so pretty when you cry, you know that?â You caress his face gently. He sniffles, not sure how to feel about that. You press your lips against his, kissing him slowly and sensually. Miguel reciprocates the kiss, following your tongue movements and subconsciously grinding down on your cock. He feels a little less stimulated than before. He feels like he's about to have an orgasm thatâll never come and somehow it feels good. He doesn't know how he feels about you now but you make him feel good, and thanks to the current state of mind he's in now, that's all that matters.
You pull away from the kiss and pepper kisses down his throat and to his chest. You undo the clip in the middle of his bra, causing the two cups to separate and reveal his breasts. You latch onto his nipple, sucking it gently while your hand goes to pull and twist on the other one. Miguel whimpers in pleasure. His nipples are so sensitive, heâll definitely come from this. âmmh..â Miguel grinds down harder as he orgasms, his pussy clenching and unclenching around your length. You pull away from his nipple, your saliva dripping down the brown bud.
He still despises you but he knows he'll be stuck with you from now on. Heâll eventually learn to love you.
Miguel turns on the radio as he starts cooking breakfast. The reporter talks about all the crime going on in the city and he doesn't seem to care, even though heâs back to normal and completely autonomous, he has no intention of going out to fight. He wants to stay home with you. The Spider Societyâs been trying to contact him but he's ignored all their calls. He only leaves the house for dates and groceries, why would he go anywhere without you? He loves you so much, he wants to stay by your side as much as he can. Nobody seems to understand it but he doesn't care to explain it to them. Peter B. and Jessica have been trying to convince Miguel to come back and many spider people have tried to kill you but to no avail. He doesn't want to come back, especially not when they're trying to kill his beloved. Heâs perfectly content with where he is now and he can't wait to have his first child with you.
#wicksđŻworks#top male reader#male reader#dark content#tw noncon#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x male reader#miguel o'hara smut#spider man x reader#spider man smut#đŻïžMiguel O'Hara#đŻïžspider man#đŻïžmarvel#ftm character#sub character#dom male reader#afab character#into the spiderverse smut
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Okay I am not going to pretend Dandadan is purposefully making some statement about the human body, specially with how traditionally beautiful both girls are drawn as but.
Okay so, every now and then we have some discourse trending about the human body. How society acts like, say, a woman having breasts means they are inherently wanting to be sexual. How breast-feeding a baby is treated as inherently sexual and not, you know, the basic biological function of breasts and a lot of other things. How to some degree a woman dressing less should not be treated that different from a man being shirtless.
So, here we have Dandadan, that has Momo and Aira in their underwear, and Okarun full-on Naked. but doesn't leer on them. it's lenses doesnt focus on their breats or their butts or obsesses over their nakedness. they simply... exist in their underwear.
Neither Momo nor Aira are being forcefully undressed by the aliens, mind you, they simply took their clothes off
Because they are fighting an underwater threat.
And if we are serious about discussing that women should be allowed to... say... be shirtless... without acting like they are trying to be sexual or sexy or that it is not inherently an invitation to leer at them. Well, that does mean we are going to have fictional characters be in their underwear without it necessarily being "sexy".
Like if this was a beach arc. like it was the exact same plot and they were on the beach in their bikini, which tend to be more... uhm... you know... than underwear. would the criticism be the same? that Dandadan went back to be a "Sex Comedy"? (The comedy is not even about the nakedness)
I guess my point is, the matter of seeking for series to rely less on fanservice is an important one. But also the matter of practicality. of de-sexualizing certain topic. etc, etc. Means there will be contexts in which we will have teenage girls in their underwear (In part because teenagers make an absurd amount of the main characters in manga), and we will have to sit down and analyze and ask ourselves "Wait, are they being sexualized, or am I assuming this typical element of fanservice is for fanservice in this context?".
And I know, The author chose to do it. And yes, they chose to have a story-arc that involved a monstrous looking Nessie who punches really hard, which is awesome.
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Stolas Makes Decisions Alone
I'm here to predict more problems ahead for Stolas. But don't worry- I do think he'll get through them because of character growth.
Stolas has a pattern of taking drastic actions that he believes are right and getting so caught up in his own point of view that he doesn't really listen to anyone else. I don't think he realizes this about himself. As much as he's now dealing with the consequences of his decisions at the end of Season 2, he hasn't yet learned that he can't go it alone. That he needs to communicate with the people his decisions impact- namely Blitz and Octavia, the people he cares for most. What I'm saying is, even though he's not the only one, our lovely owl man is a misunderstanding factory.
As for why he's like this, I have some ideas, but first, let's quickly go over the ways we've seen this behavior play out in HB.
It's treated as kind of light in Season 1 . . . despite being great with words, he's a lousy communicator because he gets carried away with his own ideas.
In Murder Family, Stolas has no idea that Blitz is panicking and . . . yes, I believe feeling pressured in this moment, even if he likes the deal later. In Loo Loo Land, he doesn't pay attention to Octavia's (not subtle) reactions enough to realize that no, she does not want to go to Loo Loo, and she absolutely doesn't want to bring the person Stolas cheated with along as a bodyguard. Also . . . as soon as Stolas listens to Octavia here, their communication improves, and Octavia is allowed to decide on the next father daughter activity.
The independent decision making tendency becomes more serious . . . tragic . . . in The Full Moon.
Stolas goes into the episode with a plan to do what he believes is right (freeing Blitz from himself), and he's so set on it that he blindsides the guy and shuts him out at the first hint of rejection, unable to pay enough attention to realize that it's . . . not actually rejection, just another wounded person reacting to a sudden change, since the entire decision making process already happened inside Stolas's mind.
Okay . . . Mastermind and Sinsmas.
I'm letting him off the hook for Mastermind, because he had only seconds to do something to save Blitz's life. I don't think he's wrong here. BUT symbolically, in the courtroom, Stolas rarely looks at Blitz. Someone who loves him is standing behind him, and there are moments of recognition between them, but Stolas still faces the decision, and his fate, alone.
In Sinsmas, we get the most blatant version of this kind of decision making. Yes, I know he's off his meds and going through a lot. He could have waited a few more minutes for Blitz to get back and talked through his decision to march up to his palace and demand to see his daughter. Blitz could have helped him calm down, and they could've had a conversation and decided on the best way to do it.
But that isn't how Stolas makes decisions. It isn't how he's EVER made decisions. Helping Stolas would put Blitz in danger, or Blitz might try to convince him to wait. So in Stolas's mind, if it's a choice between being kept from his daughter and dying alone by Andrealphus's hand, well . . .
There's so much that could be discussed here. Medication/depression. Suicidality. Autism . . . does this pattern stem in part from difficulty reading social cues?
These are all topics worth analyzing but . . . here's one thing that I think is at the core of Stolas's character regardless of the situation or other factors.
Stolas had all of his decisions made for him for his entire life. No one consulted him. Ever. Not about his career. Not about his marriage. Not about how he would choose to behave and conduct himself in the world.
Then when he was somewhere between 18 and 20, he had a child. And suddenly, his decisions mattered. Not in the big ways for himself. He still had to carry out all of his responsibilities. But he could decide how to raise this kid (Stella wasn't really interested in raising her after all). He could do everything in his power to make her childhood joyful, to make her feel loved, to teach her that she could be herself.
The problem is, making decisions for a kid doesn't make you a great collaborative decision maker. Being a parent means being an authority. He wasn't totalitarian like his own father, but there wasn't really anyone to honestly talk through his decisions and process his emotions with. So he's spent 35ish years never making a decision with someone else.
He's also rich and powerful, and that both keeps him isolated and gives him . . . a somewhat outsized view of his own importance and ability to control situations, in my opinion.
But now Octavia is 17, and making decisions that impact her without adequately communicating doesn't really work anymore.
And the other person he loves is Blitz. And yes, Mastermind is an exception, but Blitz usually doesn't need to be rescued or protected. He certainly doesn't need to be protected from Stolas (i.e. The Full Moon). He needs a partner. And Stolas needs one too.
So yeah, until Stolas learns to communicate (or at least learns that it's necessary) I worry about what he'll go off and do on his own.
Note: please don't take this as me blaming EVERYTHING on Stolas. Blitz and Octavia both have some responsibility for the miscommunications that go on. I just think this particular tendency of Stolas's is interesting and wanted to explore it.
#helluva boss#my helluva meta#stolas#octavia#stolas goetia#stolitz#blitz#Discussion is welcome but#read the whole thing before you comment please
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Secret
~ This took so much longer than I wanted it to, yay writers block right? đ
~ Angst, Fluff at end, WC:2,737
~Remus is keeping a secret
Your boyfriend is cheating on you. That's the only explanation for the way he's acting. Every month he disappears, not just for an hour or two, but full days. Most of the time he disappears for about two to three days. And even if he doesn't disappear, he acts super weird around you.
You've tried to ask James and Sirius about it, but of course they never say anything. They are loyal to bone, which usually you respect but now it's just frustrating. You thought you were a part of the group, clearly you were wrong.
What are you supposed to do? You've already tried his friends, and spent months obsessing over behavior. Analyzing every little thing he does for you and other people, trying to find out who Remus would rather be with than you. You can't keep feeling like this.
You're in the library, trying and failing to focius on your book. Usually Remus would be here with you, but he's not. You haven't seen him since yesterday morning, when he all but pushed you out of his dorm room.
At first this whole thing was frustrating, and confusing, but now you feel rejected, a feeling your boyfriend should never give you. At first you raked your mind for any other reason why Remus would act like this. You went through things like illness, something about his friends, family maybe, you even thought it might have something to do with school work, but none of those explain why he's nowhere to be seen.
So now here you are. On the verge of tears while sitting in the library, wishing he would just come clean about what he's doing. At least then it would be easier to break up with him. But what can you do without proof, left with nothing but a bad feeling.
âWhat's wrong, sweetheart?â You are quickly pulled from your thoughts by Jamesâs voice coming from behind you. He's always been incredibly sweet to you, mostly because he thought it would help convince Lily to go out with him, but you also know he's just a naturally good person.
âFine, Jamie.â You give him the best smile you can muster, obviously he sees right through it. He slings his arm around your shoulder and plops down in the seat next to you.
âWhat's on your mind?â He seems genuinely concerned but you don't believe it. Real friends tell friends when they're being cheated on. You wish. In real life, however, they always stay loyal to whoever came first. You love that Remus has such great support when he needs it but what about you?
âIt's nothing, doesn't matter.â You try your best to reassure him.
âNo, something is clearly wrong. How can I help?â
âIt's nothing, James, just drop it. Please.â He knows you're serious when you use his real name, usually resorting to some stupid nickname.
âYeah, okay. If you need anything just let me know.â You only nod as he turns to leave. You take a big breath when you're alone again.
You're honestly trying not to panic. You love Remus, a lot. But you can't be with a cheater, you just can't. And if you break up with him then you lose all your friends, because of course, they were his friends first. Which means you have to start over, all alone. Yeah, no reason to panic.
Over the next few days you don't see Remus. Not because of him, this time it's you trying to disappear. This is what happens, he ignores you for a few days then comes back all clingy as if nothing happened. The first couple times you tried to ask about it but you never got a straight answer. He told you he was busy with his friends or with school, which was clearly a lie, so eventually you stopped asking.
You've had to change your daily routine a lot just to avoid him. Instead of going to his dorm for bed, you go to your own. You're not eating in the dining hall, because he would sit with you. You're sitting away from him in class and turning the other way when you see him in the halls. Apparently your avoidance has been so obvious, McGonagall stopped him after a class to ask what happened. You didn't stay long enough to overhear his answer.
âOh, Angel!â You hear your boyfriendâs voice call for you in the hallway, you do nothing but walk faster, knowing you won't be able to keep it together long enough to face him right now. âI know you heard me.â His voice is much closer as he grabs your shoulder to stop you. He takes the books out of your hand and holds them behind his back.
âWhat do you want, Remus?â You ask him, not turning around.
âI want to know why my girlfriend has been ignoring me for days now?â
You no longer feel sad when you finally turn and look at him, the irony of his statement filling you with sudden frustration and anger, âOh really? What about you Remus? You ignore me for days every month and I still don't have an answer for that!â
He stays silent, analyzing your expression before continuing, âIt's different,â is all he says.
âHow Remus? I would love for you to explain how exactly this is different.â
âIt just is!â
âYou know what, I don't even care. Come find me when you can explain, otherwise don't bother.â You feel like you're going to collapse as you walk away, leaving him in the hall, with your books in his hand.
You didn't think it would be this hard. Yet after a few more days have passed it seems Remus took the âdon't botherâ part of your speech more seriously than any other.
You honestly thought he would at least try to give you any kind of explanation. Even if it is a lie.
James and Sirius haven't talked to you either. Remus obviously told them about what you said, they don't want to be friends with you if you aren't with Remus.
Over the last few days, you've spent a lot more time with Lily and the rest of the girls.
âSo, you wanna tell me what happened?â Lily asks you. You're sitting with her in her dorm with Mary and Pandora.
âI don't know what to say.â You shrug. What are you supposed to say? You don't want to tell her Remus is probably cheating on you, on the very off chance he isn't. And you don't want to admit how much you miss being around him.
âWhat did you guys fight about?â Mary pipes up. At this point the whole school has noticed the behavior between the two of you. Everyone has been talking about it, spreading theories as to why such a happy couple has been acting like this.
âIt wasn't a fight,â You begin to explain to the girls, âI told him unless he can tell me why he keeps disappearing I don't wanna talk to him.â
You don't miss the look Lily and Pandora exchange. Mary focuses her gaze onto the floor, none of them look at you as Pandora speaks up this time.
âI mean he probably has a good reason.â She tries to offer.
âAnd you all know, don't you?â Great, you're officially the only one who doesn't know this secret your boyfriend is keeping.
âIt's not what you think.â Lily tells you softly.
âThen why won't he tell me?â
âI don't know,â Lily tells you again, âMaybe you should talk to him.â
âI tried that, but it didn't work.â
âThen don't ask him to talk, tell him you're not happy. I promise he's not trying to hurt you.â
âAnd how do you know? He apparently told everyone but me Lily, what am I supposed to think?â
No one responds.
âI don't know what to do.â Remus tells his friends, running his hands over his face in despair.
âWell, I vote you stop being a dumbass but we know that won't happen.â Sirius offers him. The four of them haven't left their dorm all day, trying to convince Remus he needs to be honest with you. Actually Peter and Sirius have been trying to convince him, James hasn't talked to him all day. He knows why you were upset in the library and isn't trying to hide his irritation, however, he doesn't want to say something to hurt Remus. So he stays quiet.
âI agree. What's the worst that can happen?â Peter shrugs, you'd think Remus would listen to him considering he's the one in the longest lasting relationship.
âUh, she could leave me!â He practically shouts, rolling his eyes at the look shared between Sirius and Peter.
âOh you mean like what she wants to do now?â Remus doesn't even notice who says it, too distracted by the ice running through his veins.
âYou really think she'll want to break up over this?â His voice is barely a whisper, the slight heartbreak clear in his tone.
âThis is one of the biggest parts of your life and you haven't told her. She knows you've been lying about it and you haven't talked to her once since she said âdon't bother.â In my opinion all you're doing is showing her you don't care.â Peter tries his best to explain this gently to Remus. Not wanting to hurt him but knowing Remus won't actually understand till he knows how you feel about it.
âI need to tell her. I just- I don't want her to leave me because of it.â
James lets out an exasperated sigh at Remus's words. âShe's not going to leave you for being a werewolf, she loves you just as much as you love her. If she breaks up with you it's because of how long you've kept this a secret.
Another week goes by with no word for Remus. You're started to give up hope that he'll even try to talk to you again. Unless to finally end this relationship. Thinking about either of these options hurt your heart, not wanting this to end or go on.
âIt's not until you're leaving the dining hall after dinner that you're pulled into an empty classroom. You can tell by the touch on your wrist that it's him.
âWhat do you want, Remus?â You immediately ask. You try to keep your face as straight as possible, not wanting him to see how upset you really are.
âI need to explain.â
âSeriously? Now?â
âCan I please just tell you what's going on? You can yell or insult me all you want afterwards, I just need you to know.â He lets go of your wrist but refuses to look away from your face.
You give a small nod in agreement but it's all he needs to jump right into what he wants to say, you have the feeling this whole plan was practiced beforehand.
âI was not trying to hurt you. I love you a lot. More than I have ever loved anything before and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you because I'm not normal. I figured if there were something wrong with who I am, I can change, I can fix that but I can't fix something I have no control over and I felt like I would die if I lost you because of it.â
âBecause of what?â Is all you ask.
He takes a deep breath before finally explaining, âI'm a werewolf.â
âOh screw you.â You roll your eyes and quickly walk out of the classroom.
Remus doesn't follow you out. He stays standing in the empty room for a few minutes, confused about the interaction that just took place.
He comes to your shared class almost halfway through and doesn't look at you until it's over.
âAngel, please talk to me.â Remus begs, following out of the classroom. You shake your head and begin to speed up your walk. He grabs your wrist and pulls you into him, âBaby please.â
âWhat do you want, Remus? Here to lie to me more.â You turn around to confront him.
âI'm not lying about being a werewolf.â He defends, eyes widening in bewilderment.
âThat's not what I'm mad about.â Your tone grows more angry as you talk. âWe've been dating for how long now and you don't tell me your biggest secret? You've had me panicking every fucking month wondering where you where and who you were with. All because you what? Can't trust me with this big secret?â
Remus visible winces as your voice grows louder. âPlease don't be so loud.â
âOh yeah! Don't trust me not spill anything!â
âThat's not what I meant, love. Can we just talk about this, somewhere private.â
âSo what? So you can make up some lame excuses?â You turn again and try to leave.
âNo angel, that's not why I didn't tell you.â
You pause. As much as you want to keep walking you love him. Deep inside you know exactly why he didn't tell you but you don't think you can bear to hear him say it. You know it's not because of you but you feel like you failed. You feel as if you failed to make him know just how much you love him, just how worth it he is. You want nothing more than for him to be happy and if he hasn't told you about his big secret clearly he's happy enough with you.
âIt has nothing to do with you, I promise. I wanted to tell you so many times, so much more than you know but whenever I tried I couldn't. My mouth wouldn't open as much as I tried. I was terrified that you would leave, I know you never would, okay, I know. But the thought that you could stopped me, it stops me from doing many things.â
âWhy?â You ask, tears arriving in your eye line.
âBecause I can't live without you. I know how cheesy that sounds but it's true. All my life I've dealt with the consequences of being a werewolf even from people that don't know. You have helped me be myself more than anyone ever has and that's enough. I can't bear the thought of you leaving let alone the thought of knowing I pushed you away. Knowing this pushed you away and it wasn't something I could stop because if I could I would. I know it makes things harder for you. I hear how people talk about you because of my scars and how awkward I am and you don't deserve that, you've made me think that maybe I don't deserve it either. I can't lose you. I can't let this push you away because without you I go back to who I used to be. And now that you've shown me who I really am, I can't go back to being him.â
You listen to his words silently, trying your best not to let the tears fall. He doesn't deserve to feel this way and hearing him admit that makes you want to cry with happiness for him, for yourself in succeeding to make him feel as loved as he is. You want to tell him this but he continues.
âI love you, angel. And I'm so sorry I couldn't get myself to tell you before. I am so sorry I made you worry and made other people lie for me. I don't know what to say except for that. I don't know how I can make this better.â
âYou already did, Rem.â This time you turn to face him, seeing the tears on his face break your heart even more. âI mean I can't really fault you for your mouth sabotaging you.â
A small smile blooms on his face. âHow dare it.â
âI know what it's like to be that anxiety. I thought you were cheating on me.â
âI would never!â He looks genuinely offended at your words.
âI know baby, but there's still that fear.â
âI'm really sorry.â He pulls you in for a hug.
âI know, Rem. I wish I could've helped you more.â
âDove, you've already done more than enough, I love you.â
âI love you too. But if I find out you're keeping something else I'll kill you as you sleep.â
You feel Remus grin into the crook of your neck.
#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin fic#remus lupin headcanon#remus lupin fanfic#remus lupin fanfiction#possessive remus lupin#remus lupin fan fiction#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin hurt/comfort#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin oneshot#remus lupin scenario#remus lupin x f!reader#remus lupin x fem!reader#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x you
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Nascent
Jax/Reader. [Fem alinged reader.]
tags: oral sex, virginity, loss of virginity, established relationships, soft(?) jax, fluff, and smut, jax has a tongue.
Also found on my Ao3 | 2k words.
minors dni.
Jax's gloved fingers tip toed up your side, and you shivered.
"What's wreckin' ya mind dollface, you're bein a little too quiet tonight." You shuffled on the bed before rolling onto your side to face him. "Thinking too much.. I miss home. Being stuck here.. sucks." Jax was silent as you spoke, but a lazy smile was atill present on his lips. "Mnh. Yeeaaahh.. never gets old does it?" Jax laid on his back, hands folded behind his head now.Â
You took this chance to lay on his chest, nuzzling him a little. He grinned , but before he could say something sly you spoke up insteadâÂ
"Jax, I ... think I wanna try it." You mumbled into his chest.Â
"Mhmm.. try what?" His eyes were closed now. He was clearly relaxing, and your words weren't exactly clicking right now.Â
"It.. you know.. I just need something to take my mind off of things andâ" Jax suddenly sat up , his chest bumping into your nose. His hands were on your shoulders, steading you. "You're not messin' with me, are ya? I'd like to think I've been really respectful of your boundaries lately, ya know." It sounded like he didn't believe you, but he was trying his hardest not to sound like an ass. He got a few gropes in here and there but never pushed you farther than you wanted to go.Â
"I'm.. serious. We'll just take it slow.." You said and felt your cheeks growing warm at the thought of being intimate with him. You've thought about it a lot but always chickened out.
"I dunno toots, I'm not sure I could hold bacâ..." His hand was gliding up your back, but you shot him a look and he chuckled. Raising his hands in his defense. "Alright, alright slow it is.." After all he doesn't have to move fast to drive you crazy anyways.Â
"W.. Well how do we.. start? It's.. not like I can make out you.. I think." Right, you guys always exchange nuzzles instead. But Jax rolls his eyes and adjusts himself on the bed, "Just lay back will ya? I'll lead the way."Â
You swallowed and did like he said, falling to the plush of your bed and you felt his hands on your legs. Spreading them apart , you were resisting a little and he paused. "C'mon , I said I'd be gentle and I will babe. Scouts honor." He crossed his heart before grinning down at your nervous form.Â
"S.. Sorry, I haven't even been this far in the real world no less the digital.." You said embarrassed by your lack of experience. Hoping Jax wouldn't tease you too badly, but he seemed to be taking your feelings into consideration.Â
"Digital or not , I'm glad ya happened to save yourself for me. Now let me show you how much I appreciate that.. yeah?" He removed your lower clothing and the cold air hitting your skin caused you to shiver. You swore you saw his eyes grow dark for a moment but you didn't have a chance to analyze his expression too much before he yanked you a little by your ankles down the bed and closer to him. "Eep..!"Â His head was in between your legs now, and you felt something wet running along your thighs, "Jax !?"Â
"Mmn? I'm in the middle of something dollâ"Â
"I.. Is that your ..tongue..!?" You cut him off and he chuckled you could feel his breath against your skin but he didn't answer. Continuing his assault on your thighs until the wet muscle finally found your folds and you stiffened up, trying to move away from the strange and new sensation but his hands pulled you back gently. "Mnh.. listen , babe. Ya gotta let me know if I'm doin' somethin' wrong alright?" He lifted his head, leaving your cunt clenching and aching for more.
"N.. No, I..I'm sorry I was just surprisedâ I didn't know you could.. it doesn't matter just continue.. please." You turned your head to the side, avoiding his intense eye contact.
"Before that, give me a word. So....ya know. I'll know when to stop," He said , still admiring your more vulnerable position right now.
"Uh.." You can't think, your mind clouded by the ever growing lust bubbling in your core. "I.. I don't know.. uh, circus!"
He scoffed, clearly amused. "How original."Â
"Ha. Ha. I can't really think right now, Jaxâ aahh..!" Your hips bucked as his tongue flicked against that sensitive bean hidden between your folds. Oh, he liked that noise. A little too much, and now he needed more. And he a knew a trick that would keep you singing so sweetly for him.Â
He licked and flicked at your clit before flatting his long tongue against you dragging his tongue agonizingly slow along your puffy cunt before pulling back, maybe because your thighs were crushing his head now. "Look toots, I know I'm rockin your world here but ya gotta keep those legs open for me yeah?" He said in a somewhat strained voice, prying your legs apart again.
You nodded, your eyes glossy with tears. You were so needy in this moment that you'd do anything he'd ask. "Close 'em again and I'll stop, how about that for a little motivation.~" His voice was playful but, you knew he was serious and that made your insides twist a little.
"Th.. That isn't fair Jax..!" You whined and kept your legs spread even so, though they trembled and you felt even more exposed keeping them open yourself rather him holding them apart.
"Pleaaasee. To be honest, I think it's perfectly fair. You told me to take slow, not that I couldn't be a little mean.. isn't that what ya love about me after all?" He said in a breathy tone, before his eyes were on your cunt again.
"You're gorgeous ya know that? Don't.. tell anyone I said that. Compliments are like currency here." He said with a tad bit of annoyance lacing his tone, "I only wanna spend that on you .." He muttered before lowering himself to go down on you again.Â
But this time, he was purposely being more attentive. His tongue even diving into your cunt, wiggling its way into your tight hole. And a thick finger sliding inside, you yelped and your legs threatned to close around his head but you forced to yourself to hold your trembling thighs apart. Having his finger to clench down on made it easier to cause friction and push you closer to climax.
Tears spilled over your cheeks from the stimulation and frustration.Â
"Mmn... mmf.." Jax moaned against your sopping wet cunt, removing his finger and using his tongue instead.. thrusting it in and out of your hole. His lidded eyes bored into your skull, you looked delicious to him when you cried.
You couldn't take it, your body jolted and legs locked around his head as you came. Soiling his face in the process. "Hh.. Hhaa..! Damn it.."Â
Jax tutted as he lifted his head, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Ya didn't keep your legs open at the end there.. Hm, I'm not sure I should let you get away with that." The tone of his voice was playful. He grins, that shit eating grin while staring at you as he climbed atop your quivering body. You were clearly still coming down from your high.Â
"H..Huh..? Jax.. I couldn't help it.." You sighed, chest heaving up and down. "Please.." You reached out for his hand and he allowed you, still speaking as his gloved thumb rubbed the back of your hand gently.Â
"Yeah, yeah of course you couldn't.. .I'm good at what I do after all," He said and kneeled in front of your spread legs. "But, we can agree ya need just a little punishment right?" He took your intertwined hands and locked them atop your head, leaving you a little exposed and vulnerable to his touch.Â
Pulling his cock from his overalls with the opposite hands, he started stroking it slowly. "But, I'll be gentle like ya said.." He gives a wink before leaning down and nuzzling the side of your face reassuringly. It's all apart of the bit, "You ready for this?" He whispered, making sure you were okay to move forward.Â
You were soaked between your legs. More than ready but still a little nervous. "Ready.." You agreed quietly, the tension in the air was palpable.Â
You should be relaxed after his reassurance, but the size of his cock resting in his hand was making your body tense and cunt clench around nothing.. in both anticipation and a dash of fear.Â
He rubbed the thick tip against your sopping wet hole, and dragged it against your clit, teasing you. "Gentle.. yeeah... mn.." He muttered, getting lost in this bit of pleasure. "So good for me.."
Gentle. Slow. Teasing.Â
Fuck, you couldn't take it. He had to be grinding against your cunt for two minutes straight now.Â
"Jax..please..please just put it in.."Â
"Mmn. Don't worryy.. I'll take of care ya, make you feel reeaal good.." "He said and let go of your hands as he focused on lining himself up with your hole, his tip nudged at your tight hole. Slipping a few times when he tried to push forward, "Too fuckin' tight doll, hold on yeah..? Your cute cunt seems to need some convincing.." He thrusted forward rather hard, a few inches finally pushing past the resistance in your cunt.Â
"Jax..!" You yelped in pain, a burning sensation was felt in between your legs and he shushed you, staying completely still. "Hey, hey.. I've got ya, I'm right here.. breathe doll." He said and watched your expressions.. so determined to take him, yet so vulnerable. It made him throb inside of you.
After a several seconds you finally spoke. "Y.. You can move now.."Â
He was trying so hard to hold back, it's been forever since he was buried in a pussy. So once you gave him the okay he began to move, albeit slow. More inches sunk into your wet hole. Causing your back to arch a little, "Nngh..." Jax was grunting in your ear until he finally bottomed out inside of you, "There we go, nice and deep in there... ya feel that? Feel me?" He said as his hand traced your stomach just long your belly button.
"So big .. Jax.. feels good.." You panted out, unintentionally bucking your hips forward. "Mmn.. I know doll, Im gonna move alright..?" He said and you nodded, arms around his neck now as he started to slide in and out of you, lewd squishing noises and soft moans and grunts filled the room. You were both lost in the pleasure, your body relaxing more and Jax becoming a bit more rough.
"Yeah.. nngh.. ju-just like that ... take it .." He panted out, taking one of your legs and placing it on his shoulder, his hips were a blur now but your expressions and cries of pleasure was all the reassurance he needed to keep drilling into your cunt.Â
Your mind felt cloudly with lust, but that unmistakable knot in your stomach was only getting tighter, threatening to burst. He could feel you, and took this opportunity to draw gentle circles along your clit, "T.. There ya go.. wanna come for me, c'mon.." He egged you on , rolling his hips deep into your cunt. His full weight accompanied each hard thrust.
You tried to hold on , but he knew how to hit every sensitive spot. Over and over. His hips slapping against yours , the sound of your bodies colliding rung in your ears.
"Ffuuahh Jax, gonna co.. come .. gonna..!!" You whined, nails digging into his back as you held him close. Cunt clamping down on his size hard. His own hips stuttered, "D..Damn it, doll.. ya tryna milk me or something..?" He sighed as he spilled into your cunt, unable to resist the way you clamped down onto him.Â
He gave a few more shallow thrust, forcing back in the cum that threatned to spill out. "You're perfect.." He sighed out, clearly spent and slowly pulling out of your twitching hole.
"Mmn.. thank you Jax, for this.." You kissed his cheek and out of all things, that seemed to make him flush a little.Â
"Don't sweat it.. let's," He cleared his throat, "Get you cleaned up alright.. I'll run a bath,"Â
"Can't we cuddle for a bit first..?"Â
Jax froze and rubbed his neck, "Look toots, I'm not sure about gettin all cuddled up on cum stained sheets," He rose his hands, "Hey, but if thats what you're into I'm not one to kinkshâ oof." You tossed a pillow at his face, and he chuckled.Â
"Heh, like I thought, now let's get all cleaned up first, then I'll cuddle all you'd like doll.
"Sound like a deal?"Â
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Tarot investigation : a portrait of your divine counterpart
In this reading, we are trying to figure out details about your divine counterpart. If the description I make sounds familiar to you, this may be an indication that you have met them. If it sounds like you, it may mean that your counterpart mirrors you. As this is a collective reading, you may not resonate with all that is said so keep that in mind as you check your group.
Group 1
Key words : Leo, Taurus, stubbornness, communication, mind over body, dedication, fixed sign energy, "man of principles", Seo Changbin vibes, LGBTQIA+ ally, gender fluid, fighter
Personality | Strength & knight of swords
We have someone here that is extremely opinionated. Once they have an idea in mind it is hard to change their point of view. This is someone that is educated and a good strategist. They spend a lot of time thinking, analyzing, observing. Their actions match their train of thought. They have an unwavering mindset. They are bold, confident, stubborn, cutting. Their mind is sharp and intense. They could tend to overthink at times. They value mental connection and stimulation, maturity in decision making, alignment between a person's ideals and their day to day attitude. This is someone that talks the talk and walks the walk. When they say they're gonna do something, they stick to their word. They give a high importance to their principles and they would rather die than leave them aside. They are extremely prideful. This is someone that can both be pretty optimistic at times but also very harsh on themselves. They expect nothing but the best and they will do anything in their power to get there. They are competitive af. They do not back down from a challenge. They may enjoy being in the spotlight and may find themselves at the center of drama because of that. They have a very flamboyant personality. This is the type of person that isn't afraid to express their opinions in society, no matter what others might think of them. This is also someone that has a combative spirit. They cannot stand injustice. So you can be sure that if they ever feel like something is unfair, they will speak up about it.
Appearance | knight of pentacles & ace of cups
In appearance, this is someone that is very jovial and approachable. They smile a lot and their presence is inviting. They look very polite and well mannered. They are likely to be tall and have a youthfull look to them. They may have a round face and/ or dimples. Their body is strong, their posture is good. They tend to keep their head high and square off their shoulders, especially if they lift weights. They look reliable and trust worthy. I feel like their sense of fashion is quite simple but aesthetically pleasing. They prefer practical clothing over fashionable ones. They like to feel comfortable in their shoes but this person is astonishing nontheless. They are conventionally attractive. They got the baby face with the dad body if they identify as a "man". Or the hourglass body figure with the doll look if they identify as a "woman". But I feel like this person is pretty fluid when it comes to their gender and even their style. So maybe one day, this person can come to work wearing one style and the next look completely different and somehow that doesn't surprise anyone. They even rock the outfit completely. Like, I'm picturing a guy that tends to wear rather dark street wear suddenly come to work wearing a skirt and heels and that wouldn't shock any of their colleagues. It's like this person has a very unique and fluid sense of style, but no matter what they do or wear, they always look very sensual and natural. They may advocate for unisex clothing, for diversity in general especially when it comes to fashion, sexual and gender identity.
Interests | 8 of wands & 8 of pentacles
This person values hard work and dedication in everything that they do. With the combined energy of the 8 of wands and the 8 of pentacles, I pick on the energy of someone that is very active on a day to day basis. They do a lot of physical activity of all kinds because they enjoy movement above anything else. They don't like feeling stuck or still. They may be a bit hyperactive. But I feel like this person would enjoy certain activities more than others, especially very competitive ones. So think of martial arts, athletism, body building. They could also enjoy extreme sports or very challenging activities like bungee jumping, sky diving, parkour, mountaineering and so on. I'm picking up on a lot of outdoor activities. If you associate 8 of wands with fast action and 8 of pentacles with hard labor, you get activities like cross fit, HIIT training and so on. But more than that, this person just enjoys pushing past their limits and expanding. So any activity that would get them out of their comfort zone would interest them. They also enjoy travelling, walking, hiking. Urbex is also coming to mind. Just so you know, this person is restless and has a lot of energy to spend, especially when it comes to bed time activities. They have a lot of stamina and may be horny 24/7.
Additional information | 9 of pentacles & 10 of swords
This person is likely to be single at the moment. Their job allows them to live a comfortable life. They are independent and focusing on their material life. They may have gone through a break up recently. That or a difficult phase in their life. This may be about a romantic connection, a platonic connection, a contract of some sort. This may be about their family, their health or their career. It depends on each individual. The common theme is that this person may not be emotionally available when you meet, if that hasn't already happened. This may be someone that tends to isolate themselves and values their inner peace a lot. They may have struggled with depression.
Group 2
Keywords : Taurus, water signs, giving, peaceful, commited, believer of God, traditions, cinnamon roll in disguise
Personality | 10 of pentacles & ace of pentacles
This is someone that is hopeful, accepting, optimistic. They are open minded and very mature. They like to see the glass half full and choose to believe in the good of mankind. This is a family person, a community person. Someone that values kinship, friendship, trust. They always take their time and do things with the utmost care. This is someone that likes to be helpful, that gives valuable advice. Someone peaceful, quiet, sometimes shy or reserved but always generous and kind. They like novelty but they value security above anything else. So compared to group 1's person, this person may not get out of their comfort zone very often. They like to remain organized and in control of what is going on. They like to know that things are safe and predictable. This is someone that likes patterns. They always do the same things at the same time with the same people. They value tradition, hard work, dedication, but more importantly they value authenticity. This is a person that is very respectful and polite. They would never cause harm to anyone. They are extremely cautious and always proceeds the same way because it reassures them and ensures reliability for others. This is someone that isn't afraid to spend their time, money on things and people because they know it is useful. They would never deny someone of their help. This is someone with a very tranquil and stable personality. With so much Earth energy, they may have a hard time expressing their feelings but this is someone that you can always count on to support and cheer others.
Appearance | 7 of wands & 3 of cups
This is someone that may look a bit cocky or like they are defying others. Their stance and posture may show a certain level of confidence but also a certain tension, like they're ready to fight anytime. This may be because they feel a bit uncomfortable around large amounts of people. They look reliable to some extent, at least they look like they can fight and should not be messed with. They also have a playful vibe to them. So I picture someone very laid back, that doesn't really care about how they look or fashion. They prefer practical and simple clothes. So think of baggy jeans, sneakers, sweat pants, sweat shirts. They may wear boots, leather jackets. Things that are a bit old school but never go out of fashion. Their appearance may be a bit different from who they are on the inside. So they may try to appear a bit more cocky and bold than they actually are to keep people at arms length. So if this person identifies as a "woman", they may wear clothes that make them look more "manly" so to speak. A bit of a tomboy look. But not necessarily. If they identify as a "man", maybe kind of a biker/military look. I'm picking up on bead bracelets and leather bands, piercings, bold silver rings. Kind of a Johnny Depp look. Or if we remain on the Kpop side, I think the artists that would best match the vibe I'm picking up on are Lee Know from SKZ, San/Seonghwa from Ateez and Ryujin from Itzy. There's some sort of duality to them. So maybe their looks is plain but they wear colorful accessories or bold makeup.
Interests | ace of cups & 9 of pentacles
This person likes to spend time with friends and family mainly. But their also into helping others, sharing similar interests. They may enjoy creative activities like doing DIYs, farming, gardening and such. They may enjoy cooking. I'm also picking up on community work, raising funds, helping others in general. This may be the type of person that does a lot of acts of service around them, out of pure generosity. They'll help the elders even if they don't know them, look out for children and make sure they safely get back home, help strangers looking for directions. They may work with humanitarian organizations, advocate for several causes. They may pray a lot or spend time contemplating on life. They just love sharing and connecting with people of all horizons, feeling like they belong somewhere. Their job may involve healing, care, sharing of experience. They like chilling out in nature, walking in public gardens, watching people have fun. Seeing people happy makes them happy even if they, themselves, aren't doing anything. They like tranquility and moments of unity. They may enjoy going to the theater alone, camping, painting and such.
Additional information | 7 of cups, Hierophant
Though they may be presented with many options and have many suitors, this person doesn't care if these cannot fulfill them on a spiritual level. Remember, this person values authenticity. They also value loyalty and commitment. Traditions matter to them a lot. So does education and the law. Respect is a must. If this person feels disrespected in any way, they won't have any problem cutting you off. This is also someone that is extremely curious and seeks for knowledge. Any opportunity they get to learn about others and themselves, they will take. When you meet them, this person will likely be open to dating but they will be looking for a serious and committed relationship right from the get go. They don't play around, they don't f**k around. They're not into one night stands or open relationships. No, they want the exclusive long-term relationship they've always envisioned, the one dictated by the ideals and beliefs that they were raised in, that they value deeply. This is the type of person that is likely to marry and have children. This person is single and ready to mingle.
Group 3
Key words : Taurus, Aries, Pisces, childhood friend, soulmate, calm and collected, caring, mischief, LGBTQIA+ member/ally, unaware of their own power
Personality | 4 of pentacles & page of wands + knight of wands
This person is quite shy and reserved, especially around strangers. However, they show their true face when they feel safe. This is someone that is cheerful, lively, a bit of a trickster. They enjoy life, they love to have fun with their close circle. They love to be in the comfort of their home. They may be a bit immature at times and narrow minded but that is never meant to hurt anyone. Theyâre just set in their ways and a little inexperienced. They are quite creative and imaginative, curious as well to some extent but they tend to refrain from doing certain activities, maybe out of fear. This is someone that enjoys routines and rarely changes anything about their life. However they crave for more, they like adventure and they can be bold at times. This is someone that isnât fully aware of their skills and power. Theyâre the life of the party and they could shine so bright but they tend to hide it most of the time or ignore the fire inside. This could be someone that was taught to feel ashamed of themselves for some reason. Maybe because of the way they look or what they believe in.
Appearance | Hierophant & Fool
This person has a very juvenile look. But also a very conservative one. Theyâre likely to blend in the crowd. They may be religious so they may wear a veil for example. Or very traditional clothes associated with their culture. If not, this person tends to wear baggy clothes, very simple clothing that doesnât stand out that much. Things that are very practical or sportsy. We have someone that could have a very youthful face but their eyes would betray the maturity of their personality or the hell theyâve been through. I picture someone whoâs height is average, with an average body type. Their gaze looks lost, like their body is here but their mind is somewhere else. They may wear glasses. With the Hierophant I get the image of someone strictly following societyâs norms that were set for their gender but combined with the Fool I get the feeling of someone that would want to break free from those. This is a very contradicting energy. So maybe this person tries to walk on the line of what is acceptable to society and what is acceptable to them. So maybe they mix traditional clothing with modern clothing or they try to wear clothes that would fit all genders. I donât see this person wearing jewellery or make up.
Interests | Queen of cups & 7 of wands
This person just wants peace. They like to share and spend time with the people they love without any trouble. They want to protect what they believe in, their inner peace and inner circle. I feel like this person could have been bullied in the past or faced a lot of struggles. Their job could involve healing, therapy, helping people find their true self. This person feels very unique in their personality and being. And I can't help but to wonder whether they are a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. If that's the case, I feel like this person hasn't made their coming out. That is very specific so that may not be the case for everyone. To some extent, this person likes to be challenged if it can broaden their mind. But in that case, they need it to be healing and fair. They won't accept change if it is forced onto them. This person could be a teacher or some sort of guide. I can't pick up on more information. So I drew an extra card and got the World. This person enjoys traveling, learning about other cultures, broadening their mind and horizons. They like learning new languages or just, in general, doing things that are out of the ordinary. So if this person never goes to the theater for instance, just doint that can be thrilling for them. Anything that gets them to leave their home and be in unknown territory interests them.
Additional information | The Emperor & 6 of cups
This is someone that is extremely powerful and influential but they have no idea of that power. They're a natural born leader and they could be amazing if they fully trusted themselves and embraced their true self. This person could be a childhood friend of yours or at least someone from your past. They could be one of your soulmates. This person could be heavily influenced by a father figure. They are highly spiritual and in touch with their ancestors. They are also intuitive. You could feel connected to them through your dreams. This person is also heavily influenced by their past. A part of them still hasn't healed from it. For this person specifically, the artist that could embody their energy would be Han from SKZ or Hwiyoung from SF9.
#just-a-ghost#tarot reading#pick a card#pac reading#tarot investigation#divine counterpart pac#Spotify
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Difference between Bruce and Dick as Batman.
So I know that there's a lot of temptation to compare Bruce as Batman to Dick or Damian, and Dick as Batman to Damian, often with a "oh well obviously Bruce was meaner/Dick was nicer", but I do think they have a neat contrast that fandom often overlooks (as well as some parallels).
Robin: Year One #3
Batmatn #408
Batman and Robin #6
Dick and Bruce both will deal with whatever current threat exists, before fully helping wounded Robin, getting a verbal "I'm fine" confirmation. They clearly do care about Robin. But they also have an obligation to protect people Bruce tries to physically stop joker. Jason's not fighting Dick, but he is trying to talk him down and talk him into getting help, like he did in Battle for the Cowl. The characters also generally avoid a wounded Robin -- it's just easier to see for Bruce, because Leslie calls Bruce out on it "you're leaving (to go deal with this?)" whereas no one questions Dick leaving Damian once he's got medical care and doing his own mission to revive zombie bruce. I imagine this is partially from guilt (we do see Bruce blaming himself for Dick's close call, and Dick framing Damian as his responsibility in Battle for the Cowl) and also possible due to the whole 'batman has a job, robin's physically OK now so time to help protect people' thing.
A strong difference is after the character's get injured and treated. Bruce becomes overprotective, and continues being emotionally distant, which understandably upsets Dick. He is so overprotective he benches Dick each time he is wounded seriously, and that creates friction between them.
Robin: Year One
Batman #408
Contrast this to Dick's general lack of protectiveness. Nothing changes when Damian gets wounded as Robin. Which works well (emotionally) for Damian and it works for the conventions of the genre.
Dick is generally not portrayed as very emotionally overprotective when Damian is injured, and when Damian is captured, he often expresses more verbal concern for the people who captured Damian than Damian himself.
Batman and Robin #9 - Damian, with a new metal spine, got thrown off a building by the zombie batman dick accidentally revived.
Batman and Robin #13
Detective comics annual #11
I should note: I think it would be uncharitable to assume that Dick expressing more verbal concern that Damian will hurt the supervillains who have him kidnapped means Dick doesn't care about Damian. We see in Batman and Robin some of Dick being worried when Damian is shot, and we see Dick telling Azrael they need to find a quicker way to get to Damian when Azrael is talking about how to find the guys who took him. And also, you know. I just don't think Dick would care more about the supervillains that Damian. But Damian is regarded as a tough kid, he'll be fine no matter what, and he represents a threat to other people (interestingly, something I've seen fans accuse... Bruce of doing to damian? Even though Bruce was much more protective and wasn't worried about Damian killing Nobody when Damian was going with Nobody, or Damian killing the Saturn Club guys when Damian let himself by kidnapped by the Saturn club guys to find civilians to rescue)
But I am analyzing here the actions he does and the words that he says, and what the writer dedicates panel time to. I think it's interesting that Bruce and Dick's similarities with regards to Robin getting injured involve emotionally removing themselves from the situation and focusing on cases, and then their differences are in the follow up. Dick often maintains a status quo, which is satisfying to the Robin character (he does not feel like he's being fired or judged) and fits with the conventions of the genre. Bruce often becomes overprotective to a degree where the Robin character feels estranged from him, and is excluded, resulting in alienation from robin and coming across as the "bad guy".
I find it very interesting that Dick avoids repeating mistakes of the past that Bruce made (becoming overprotective of Robin to an alienating degree and firing him) by doing things that would be read as callous or uncaring to the reader if he wasn't Dick, I guess.
P.S. I know some people say this is why they regard Morrison's Dick as OOC, but I didn't have any place to fit that acknowledgement in the above paragraphs, but I think it's important to note that this was not just Morrison's Dick. In general Dick as Batman era was way different than Nightwing Rebirth era Dick or even post 2011 Dick.
#dc comics#2009 era batfam stuff#detective comics 1937#batman and robin 2009#batman and robin#dick grayson#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batman 1940#robin#batman#we were the best#i dont have a bruce and damia interaction tag yet sadly#robin: year one#batfam#character meta
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Shigaraki dating & other hcs
đ Says "Damn it" a little bit too much đ "Fuck off" to people who annoys him (aka Toga, Twice & sometimes Dabi) đ Very silent, only speaks up when he disagrees, complains or when someone's talking to him đ When he doesn't like something, no matter how small or irrelevant that thing is, he wants to dust it, because it "Pisses him off" đ Sarcastic most of the time and when pissed (for real this time), he quickly jumps to threats or insults đ DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COOK, only microwave stuff đ Picky eater, but not overly picky đ HATES it when you're upset, mostly when you're on the verge of tears, he just wants you to be happy and it breaks his heart seeing you cry. But of course, he'll never admit that so he'll say that it annoys or pisses him. đ Very VERY observant, he'll notice right away if you have new clothes, a new shampoo, if you had a bad night or if something troubles you đ Has a very good memory, he easily remembers important dates, the small habits that you have or where you last put your keys đ Talking about good memory and being observing, he learns very fast. You're teaching him how to drive? He already knows the basic of course (GTA) but also by looking at you driving đ He could also learn how to cook if he observed you but he just loves when you do it <3 đ Shigaraki analyzes very quickly, he's an overthinker, which benefits him for his job. Not so much on relationships, so at the beginning he might have insecurities towards you. So you two need to âš communicate âš đ After that, once he knows for sure that you love him, his overthinking will be sent towards what gift you want for christmas or something đ He loves roadtrips with you, he would stick his arms or head out of the window, not dramatically, he's not stupid, it's dangerous, but just a bit, because he loves the feeling of freedom đ He also loves watching the landscapes passing by, it feels refreshing as he almost never goes out of town due to his "job"
đHe loves hearing you sing. He loves your voice, no matter what it sounds like because he sees how happy you are, judging by your dancing and the sparks in your eyes, and he thinks that's perfect đNow let's talk about kisses, at first he was unsure about them because of his very dried lips, thinking you might find that disgusting đ But oh, the first kiss you two shared, he was melting and his brain was throwing fireworks. Now, he won't stop giving you kisses here and there when he wants to <3 đPDA? Hell nah, don't get me wrong, HE'D LOVE TO! But his #1 Villain in Japan status would get dragged in the mud OR you'd end up in jail. (Which would result in him destroying the whole city to get you out of there) đ Even with the LOV around, he doesn't touch you or else they'll start annoying him and he'll throw hands, literally đ Buuuuuuuuuuuut, as soon as you're alone with him, GOD HE CRAVES IT. Hugs from behind, cuddles on the bed⊠Then you walk past him when he's on the couch? Nope, not anymore, he grabbed you and now you're stuck on his lap <3 đOnce he starts cuddling, it's very HARD to get rid of him, poor baby just wants affection đ Unless you really need space then he'll leave you alone and threaten anyone that gets too close (While he sits against the door of your bedroom, waiting patiently for you to feel better) đVery flexible with his fingers, he practiced A LOT to control his quirk without any protection. And what was his best way for that? Guitars, pianos and harps! Yes, he knows how to play all three of those. Though, he'll never play harp anymore because he thinks that's not cool. But piano and guitar? Maybe he'd play some for you ;) đ Talking about flexible fingers! That made him very fast on a keyboard and with a console controller, which made him the best player of the LOV đHe never had gloves until he met you. He was so often confused by his feelings that he'd get pissed and accidentally dust something
đHell, when he realized that he had feelings for you, he really, really, REALLY didn't want to accidentally dust you. SoâŠ. GLOVES :D đWhy didn't he invest in gloves earlier?! Nah, really, WHY?! Now that he has gloves, he dust less and less often his shirts when putting them on, which is great! đHe only played a few games when you met him. Now, because of your suggestions, he plays all sorts of games! đTalking about games, he has all consoles you'd need. Xbox, PS, Switch and PC. So if you ever had one console in your entire life and wanted to test a game on another platform, well now you can because of your precious dusty boyfriend :P <3 đYou thought he was a cat person at first and he is, but he's a tiny bit more dog đAnd jellyfish, he loves jellyfishes đFor the last HC đYou always thought he didn't take care of his hair, that it looked messy and gross to the touch đTo your surprise, when you first headpat him, it was very soft and fluffy. It just seems to not obey to any type of brushes
#I'm done writing for today#im exhausted lmao#shigaraki#shigaraki tomura#shigaraki x reader#mha#bnha#bnha x reader#mha x reader#tomura shiragaki#tomura x reader#tenko shimura
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Ryoshu and Grief
Ryoshu as a sinner is defined by her lust for blood, art, and the beauty that comes with both. However I think a large chunk of people realize that this is not her only trait, and this is something that has slowly been fed out across the Cantos and Egos weâve gotten for her.
Spoilers for basically all of Limbus.
Since her reveal, weâve had some plenty of reads that PMoon is not taking her inspiration, Hell Screen, as mere setup for an insane artist. Her constant connection with Spider-Bud and family shows that she is at the bare minimum connected to the lore of the family torn apart by lust for a perfect painting of Hell itself.
Ryoshuâs identity in relation to Hell Screen and a traditional family setup is something that honestly deserves more attention in a separate post, but itâs clear something massive happened between her family and itâs caused her a massive trauma response that triggers grief quite often...even if it doesn't seem like that.
Most of Ryoshuâs behavior is opposite to how people usually think of grieving, but itâs still a form of grieving nonetheless. She tries to repress her emotions through increasing forms of ecstasy. As someone who has depression and has gone through losses of my own, one of the possible responses you can have is to try to chase some emotion, regardless of what it is and how unhealthy it is for yourself and those around you. Youâll do anything for that warm feeling of positivity about yourself.
Regardless of this though, that sadness still exists in Ryoshu. We know this thanks to her mood during Canto 7 being rather quiet aside from the betrayal of Hugo, where she immediately decides to cut off his arms due to it being âunoriginal and played outâ. Otherwise sheâs being bristly towards the concept of family, but not actively aggressive or particularly violent. In fact, the one time I'd say she has a strong reaction in this Canto is to Sinclair's interpretation of her usual acronym stuff.
Ryoshu and Sinclair honestly ALSO deserve their own post because there is a lot to go into, but to put a cap on it I'll simply state that Ryoshu has a lot of emotions regarding Sinclair. It's the only thing that can rouse her aside from the art of betrayal she sees from Hugo, because the concept of family triggers her that much. There's a reason that the ONLY Ryoshu ID to have Gloom in their kit is Spider Eyes, because she's having to directly confront the very concept of family and protecting others, and it's reflected in her giving out more support than most of her other kits and in story by helping calm Yi Sang.
This sadness and desire to care exists across the Mirror Worlds as well, she just does a far better job of hiding it under her usual veneer of "insane artist only pursuing ecstasy". Edgar Family Butler is all about taking the role of caretaker of things, and she normally helps take care of her fellow butlers, only changing her attitude when they are about to be raided by the Wild Hunt and die. Even in something like her W Corp or 7 Association identities, she still has her kit showing off some support by giving out fragility for the team or even giving out barrier in W Corp.
No matter what she does, it's inescapable for her, and something she is desperately hiding away in order to keep things moving. The very same way Yosihide continued his painting, Ryoshu keeps spreading violence to hide away her grief. But it will always be there, underneath the surface, if you look closely enough.
Overall, it's a fascinating take on grief and how one can cope with it, and PMoon has always done a wonderful job on not taking the typical route with things. They did it before with Roland's grief, and it's clear that they're doing similar things with Hell Screen's adaptation. Also thanks to @lu-is-not-ok for inspiring me to write up more about one of my favorite sinners, since their posts analyzing The Red Chamber and Hong Lu fascinate me to no end. Additionally thanks to @ryoshudoodles for making beautiful art themselves and showing off the duality of Ryoshu's lust and gloom beautifully.
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The flaws of Jax and Ragatha, and why they matter to Pomni's character arc.
Within the two episodes of The Amazing Digital Circus that have been released so far as of writing this post, there have been two characters who have been given the most attention and depth out of any of the cast (ignoring Pomni obviously), and those two characters are Ragatha and Jax.
The duo consisting of the kindhearted optimist and the meanspirited pessimist have without a doubt become some of the most interesting characters to analyze within this series so far thanks to how much meaningful screentime and character depth they have been given within the the two episodes that we viewers have been fortunate enough to witness with our very eyes.
But why is this? Why is it that these two have received special attention from the writers so far, and what role do they play in Pomni's character journey? Well I believe I may have found the answer, and it's unfortunately one that does not spell a good future for these characters. But to truly understand where I am coming from, we must first understand who these two characters are and how they relate to our main protagonist.
To start off with the kindest of the duo, we have already learned quite a lot about Ragatha thanks to the two episodes she has been featured in so far.
Her most prominent character trait is without a doubt her kindness. She is the first person to really be genuinely nice to Pomni upon her entrance to the circus and spends the rest of the episode showing her around the place and trying her best to help her get settled in.
She's also someone who doesn't like to be overly blunt with her responses, such is shown when Pomni asks how they leave the circus, to which Ragatha, instead of just saying that she couldn't, phrases it in a way that makes it sound as if they simply haven't found a way to leave yet, this was obviously done in an attempt to not freak Pomni out too much, though this doesn't really go anywhere thanks to Jax.
Now that's great and all, Ragatha's a nice person, you can easily observe that through casual watches of the show, looking deeper however, you can see that there is a lot more going on with Ragatha than she would like to make you believe.
Insecurity is another trait that Ragatha has that, while not shown off as prominently as her optimism, is still very important to Ragatha's character.
As we see in episode 2 of the series, one of Ragatha's biggest fears is not being liked. She vents to Kinger about how she feels like Pomni doesn't really like her that much, and that clearly scares her. And why wouldn't it? The end of episode 2 makes it clear that one of the most important things in this show when it comes to keeping the main cast mentally stable, is their sense of community.
They're all in this together, they have each other's backs and will do their best to be there for each other when it's needed. That is what is communicated to us within the second episode through Kaufmo's funeral.
This segment of the episode, while somber in its tone, is also one that instills hope within Pomni and the viewer. Because it shows that despite everything, the circus members do care about each other. That abstraction is something that affects everyone and it isn't something that is just brushed off immediately, which if you recall, was the crux of Pomni's fears as seen at the beginning of the second episode, the fear of being forgotten, the fear of no one caring.
"I don't even remember her name honestly" - Dream Jax.
So with how the importance of community has been firmly established within this show's messaging at this point, it should be no surprise that Ragatha's biggest fear is not having that community. Of people not liking you, of people hating you. So how does Ragatha solve this?
Repression, that's how. Of all of Ragatha's personality traits her tendency to not display her true feelings towards things are without a doubt the most damaging.
The best example of this is how she reacts to Pomni abandoning her for the exit. The pilot would lead you to believe that she was mad at Pomni for doing this, that she didn't trust her anymore because of this selfish act.
And yet, that's all brushed to the side in the following episode. Ragatha is back to her optimistic self and is saying that everything is fine! That it was completely understandable and that there was no bad blood between them. Yet you can tell that isn't the whole truth, that Ragatha really didn't get over what Pomni had done to her that easily.
Now do I think Ragatha hates Pomni or secretly resents her? No, not really. I do think she's being honest when she says that she doesn't hold anything against her for doing this. But that doesn't mean she wasn't hurt by it. We can see clear as day from the pilot that this did affect her, so why does she act like she doesn't?
Because, from her perspective, her feelings do not matter. The only thing that does is to make sure Pomni is able to adjust, to make sure that everyone is happy, that everyone is still somewhat sane within the circus, and so she compromises her emotions in order to do this. Gooseworx has even said it herself that Ragatha often says things she doesn't necessarily mean in order to ease tensions. She doesn't want to cause conflict, she doesn't want people to fight with each other because she understands how important community is to the members of the circus persisting.
Yet in the midst of all of this, what Ragatha fails to realize is that with how she currently handles things, she is paving the way for her own mental break.
Ragatha, in her attempts to be there for others, has walled herself off from others being there for her. By lying about how she really feels about things, by acting as if she is fine, she is not allowing herself the emotional vulnerability necessary for others to be there for her when she needs it.
The closest thing we have had to this so far is with Kinger, and while having someone she feels comfortable enough to lament her feelings around is a good thing, this is one person, one person who is... not exactly mentally stable, to put it lightly. Is not exactly an end all be all solution to her problems.
Kinger being the only person who Ragatha can rely on is only gonna work for a limited amount of time, the more she represses, the more she hides her true emotions and clear mental instability, the closer she is to meeting a cruel fate, one that no one would be able to save her from because no one even realized there was something wrong with her. For in her pursuit to make everyone else happy, she has sacrificed her own happiness, as a result.
And then there's Jax.
Jax, in a lot of ways, is pretty much the polar opposite of Ragatha. While her leading trait is kindness, Jax's leading trait is being a complete and utter asshole. And while Ragatha is all about answering things in a roundabout way to ease stress, Jax is all about the blunt answers.
This is best shown to us in the pilot when, in the same scene where Ragatha tries to answer Pomni's question of "how do I leave?" in a way that wouldn't stress her out too heavily, Jax goes straight in with the "you can't". Jax is a pessimist, he has accepted that there is no way out, and is simply riding things as they go by.
Jax's leading character trait is all about causing as much chaos as he can for the sake of his own satisfaction. He doesn't care about how others feel, the only thing he cares about is causing as much chaos as possible simply because he can.
Yet that isn't all that's going on with Jax, there's something deeper here, something more complex.
When it comes to the scenes everyone points to when saying that Jax has a lot more going on with him than meets the eye, the scene where he reacts to Kaufmo's funeral is the one everyone looks at with an analytical lens, and that's for a good reason.
For I think this little scene might just tell us a lot more about Jax than we think.
One thing that I've come to notice about Jax's brand of chaos is that it's very reliant on others' reactions. All of the chaos he causes, all of the absurd and awful things he does are for the sake of seeing how others react. From throwing Pomni over the side of a truck and attempting to use her as a human bridge, or literally everything that he does to Gangle, it's all reaction-based, and that made me realize that, despite how selfish and uncaring he acts towards everyone else, community is still the one thing that truly matters most.
He needs the others so that they can react to his hijinx, as they are what give said actions meaning. If he had no crowd to watch as he acts like a shitty person, then he has no reason to do anything. But that is also where Jax's true character flaw comes in, his selfishness.
With how Jax is constantly pushing others around for the sake of his own amusement, Jax is very clearly a self-centered person. He is someone who is in it for himself and no one else. Who cares if others don't like him? Who cares if others despise him? As long as he gets to see funny things happen to people, he is gonna be okay.
But what happens when that method is no longer effective? What happens when the others don't give him the reaction he wants? What happens when he can no longer use chaos as a way to distract from the pointlessness of his reality?
Well, as scary as this may be to think about, Jax won't really have much of anything to fall back on. His cruel actions have wrote him into a corner. No one likes him, that much is obvious. And while Jax seems content with this now? What happens when he is put in the position of needing someone else's help?
Well, then he'll have no one, and it's ironically for the exact opposite reason to Ragatha. Ragatha's problem is that she is constantly repressing her emotions, despite the fact that she has people who care about her, she doesn't open up to them because in her eyes, her feelings are secondary to others'.
Yet Jax is the opposite, he's honest, he is self-centered, and that's also why he is one of the members who are in this most danger.
In a show that seems to be about how important community is and how important it is to stay together and be there for each other? To have a character who is the complete opposite of that. To have someone who doesn't care about others, who won't be there when someone else is hurting. To have someone who is actively making things harder for everyone... that just spells out demise.
Jax's true weakness is that he does not have a community who will be there for him when he needs it, he was never there for others so why should they be there for him? Meaning that when Jax is at the end of his rope, crying out for help, no one will listen, because as cruel as it sounds, most of the members would probably be happy that he's gone.
While this does admittedly rely a bit on speculation, I think what I've stated above might be the true reason for why Jax looked sad for a moment when the other characters were talking about the funerals held for those who have abstracted. Because in that small moment, he realizes he might not get a funeral of his own when he "dies", or if he did, no one would really have anything nice to say about him.
And that fear, that knowing of how the way you've built yourself up by putting others down has lead to everyone hating you, to everyone not having a single good thing to say about you... that is terrifying. And yet he hides it, he walks away, he refuses to attend the funeral because then he will have to be confronted with the uncomfortable reality of the fact that he won't die as someone who was remembered for doing good things.
The only thing he'll be remembered for, is how much everyone hated him. And all of that brings us right back, to Pomni.
I said at the beginning of this post, as well as with the title itself, that Ragatha and Jax matter to Pomni's character arc, but why is this? Sure they're both main characters so obviously they're going to influence her journey going forward, but how exactly does any of this matter to Pomni? It's simple really.
Ragatha and Jax represent two extremes, they represent what happens when you lean too far in one direction. In one case, it is caring too much about others and not caring about yourself, and in the other, it's caring too much about yoursef and not caring about others.
Pomni has already shown traits of both Jax and Ragatha. She has shown an empathetic, kindhearted side as seen in her interactions with Gummigoo, and she has shown a selfish side, as seen when she abandoned Ragatha for the "exit" in the pilot.
Pomni has shown herself to be both selfish and selfless. But what part of her matters more? Simple answer, both. It is important to care about others while also taking time to take care of yourself. Ragatha and Jax show what happens when you forget to do one of these things.
By always taking care of others, you're forgetting to take care of yourself, and by always taking care of yourself, you fail to take care of others. To find a healthy balance is to do both. To be aware of your own mental health while also making sure that others are doing okay too. And this is something that Pomni will need to realize if she is going to make it in the circus.
And this is where Jax and Ragatha become important. I believe these two will show Pomni how important it is to keep a balance of things. To not lean too far in one direction, as if you do, it spells bad news for you either way. And how will this be communicated to her and the audience?
Abstraction.
Think about it. If Ragatha and Jax's harmful practices continue without change and they end up abstracing because of it, that will be a wakeup call to Pomni, it will show her the flaws of being too selfless, and too selfish. Is it an extreme way to communicate such message? Sure, but it's also one that can't be ignored.
We, the audience, and Pomni, would see first hand the consequences of leaning too far in either direction, that if you don't find a balance, you will end up like Jax and Ragatha did.
And that's why I think these two in particular have been given so much screentime and attention these past two episodes. Because they are meant to show us the most extreme versions of Pomni's most prominent character traits.
The ability to care about yourself, and the ability to care about others.
Of course, I might be wrong in this assessment. We are far too early in the show's runtime to truly predict any big events like this. But from a narrative standpoint, I believe this interpretation makes the most sense in the way of showing us the audience, and Pomni, what truly matters. It's not just about you, it's not just about others, it's about both.
Thank you for reading.
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Vampire Pancakes
A response to this writing prompt. Thought it was too cute, had to write it! @dwobbitfromtheshire
đ„đ«
No one really knows what to do with Eddie right now. Everyone is jittery around him, going so far as to hold their breath when he so much as twitches. Even Dustin is squinting at him with calculating eyes; he's analyzing Eddie for threat.
Eddie will continue to courteously ignore the hand that Nancy is keeping stationed on her belt conveniently close to the little pistol everyone knows she's hiding. It doesn't matter that Eddie helped them kill Vecna, or that he saved Baby Byers' life. It doesn't matter when he has sharp teeth, dark eyes, and a thirst for blood. He can't blame 'em for being scared.
Eddie thinks about his dad. Wonders if even Al would see Eddie as a monster now.
Eddie got picked on a lot as a kid and he'd often come home from school tired and weepy. Al would look up from the couch in that black tank top he always wore. He'd set down whatever he was smoking to pat the spot next to him.
"What happened Ed? Was some little shithead mean to ya?"
Eddie would nod and slump into his father's side, eyes burning from the spicy, smokey air. When Eddie pressed his face into his dad's arm, Al would pull back and pat his head with sorrowful eyes. Al didn't really know how to comfort a kid or maybe he thought that being distant was in Eddie's best interest.
"You're too soft, Ed. Ya gotta make those kids think you can pack a punch. Chin up, eyes mean, shoulders back. Make 'em intimidated, make 'em fear ya."
So like any kid who thinks their dad's word is law, Eddie listened, or tried his best at least. But his dad never said that mean eyes, dark clothes, and loud music would get him accused of witchcraft by a bunch'a angry jocks and chased straight into hell.
Now his sheepies -his kiddos- are looking at him like they're scared, like they can't trust him and that is a fucking gut punch. Because pretty early on in his high school career, he decided that his purpose was gonna be standing as a shield for other kids like him. He wanted to be a source of safety and warmth in an otherwise cold and unforgiving storm.
Being feared is lonely and sad, Eddie has discovered, and he worries this is his new permanent reality.
Eddie quietly sits through his friends hammering out the logistics of a nighttime schedule to organize sleeping shifts so someone always has an eye on him. It's sick. Eddie has to excuse himself to cry about it. He has no uncontrollable urges to eat anyone here, Steve does smell appetizing, but he wouldn't jump the guy.
He can still eat human food apprently, it barely does anything for him, but it's something. Eddie thinks it's enough to quell any feral urges he may or may not get. He thinks the party is being unreasonable about their safety precautions, but really, he'd probably do the same if there was a monster in the same house as him.
đ„đ«
It's a long night, he can't fall asleep but he'll pretend to so that everyone can relax a little. The changing of the guard chafes at him and makes his lip quiver. He bites his lip to prevent a wounded sound from slipping out when Robin nudges Steve awake and says it's "his turn on hell shift". Eddie jolts because he remembers he has real sharp teeth now, and biting his lip does, in fact, hurt like a bitch.
"You're not asleep, huh?" He hears whispered into the air of the big living room after Robin has settled back into sleep. It's Steve's sweet and melodic voice.
"I'm trying." He responds, brokenly.
"Wanna get some fresh air with me for a minute? I need'a smoke." Steve is already shrugging the sheets off of him and carefully stepping over his sleeping friends towards the back door. Eddie doesn't think he has a choice, but to follow. Stepping out of this stuffy room does sound like a relief though.
Eddie makes the same journey through the sea of teenagers sprawled across Steve's floor and out the sliding glass door. When he steps onto the patio, all of the crickets stop chirping around him. The night goes silent. What the fuck? Is that because of him? He loves the sound of crickets, though.
He walks over and curls up in one of the Harringtons' fancy-loungy-pool-chairs. Steve stays standing, leaning artfully against the side of his house next to the glass. He flicks open his lighter and the small flame illuminates his square jawline with a warm glow. He's so achingly handsome. He's like a movie star, or a model.
"You okay?" Steve asks conversationally.
"Not even a little."
Steve sighs and pushes off the wall to walk towards Eddie's chair. He sits at the foot of it and swivels so he's looking at Eddie.
"I'm really sorry Eddie. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. I won't pretend to." Steve sets a hand on Eddie's ankle and Eddie could cry from the small gesture of comfort that he's practically writhing for. "I feel like what happened to you is all my fault. I know that 'sorry' wont cut it, but for the record, I am. Completely and utterly sorry." That's a silly thing to think.
"It's not your fault, are you kidding? How do you reckon it's your fault?"
"Sending you with Dustin? Alone? Putting all that responsibility on you?" Steve looks down at his cigarette with disgust. He twists it into the cold concrete next to his socked foot and looks back at Eddie. There's no fear in his expression, and for once Eddie is grateful for his reckless bravery.
"It was the best plan and we all agreed to it. Don't sweat it, Harrington." Eddie feels like he's not all there. Feels like maybe if he was more composed he could comfort Steve better, but he's hungry and dazed, sad and tired. Steve nods solemnly, and clears this throat.
"And about everyone being kind of on edge... It'll pass. I think they're all thinking about when Billy Hargrove got possessed by the mind flayer and went homicidal on us. He tried to kill all the kids."
Eddie desperately wants to hear all the other Upside down stories one day. He keeps trying to stitch together all these scraps of lore that keep getting dropped on him. He has no right to ask about something so traumatic, so he'll just be patient and wait for more lore to drop.
"Everyone's just being cautious. Vecna's dead though, so I'm not really sure who they think would possess you." Steve finishes and squeezes Eddie's lower calf where his hand rests.
"I get it. Kinda hurts my feelings, but I get it." Eddie mumbles and feels his eyes getting heavy. He wonders if he could fall asleep out here. Maybe if the crickets were still chirping and it wasn't so goddamn quiet.
"I'm sorry, Eddie." It's fine, this might not even be the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
đ„đ«
In the morning Eddie curls himself into Steve's little kitchen nook. Eddie kind of loves the window seat, it's something his mom would have wanted, Eddie theorizes. She was always looking out windows, probably daydreaming about escaping. Eddie does it too.
The kids seem warmer this morning. There's no more hushed whispers or pointed looks. They're talking and moving around the house less cautiously. Hopefully, the stiffest interactions and the worst of their distrust is behind them. Nancy's still watching him like a hawk though.
Steve shuffles into view, his socks are bunched up around his ankles. It's cute.
He holds out a plate for Eddie with a dumb smile on his face. When Eddie reaches for it, he sees a stack of pancakes and the top pancake has a little face made out of blueberries and two whipped cream fangs. It's a vampire pancake. Steve made Eddie a sweet little vampire pancake.
"Oh my god, you're so adorable." Eddie squeaks and makes a grabby hand for the fork Steve's holding. Steve blushes and hands over the fork.
"Do you like it?" Steve asks coyly. The pancakes feel like a hug, they feel like an apology that Steve doesn't even owe.
"I love it, chef." Eddie pokes at the pancake-vampire's cheek. "I don't know if I can eat him. He's too cute." Eddie giggles. Steve looks up at him with bright sparkly eyes. God he's perfect. Eddie's hungry for him in five different ways.
Robin and Dustin come up beside Steve to look down at the plate.
"I want one!" Dustin announces loudly. Steve turns around and heads back to the stove, he looks so proud of himself.
"You can have normal pancakes. Those are special for Eddie." Steve says with a wink. Dustin looks down at Eddie and pouts at him as if Eddie has any say in who gets what kind of pancake.
"Dustin had to watch it all happen, he should get one too." Eddie tells Steve earnestly while Steve is pouring more batter into the pan.
Dustin gloats and yells "Exactly! Thank you, Eddie."
And it feels like things are gonna be okay.
#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#steddie ficlet#steve x eddie#steddie fluff#soft steve harrington#steve harrington is a sweetheart#kas eddie munson#vampire eddie munson#vampire eddie x steve#writing prompt#steddie microfic
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Levi Ackerman headcanon â (My) analysis on his intimacy
Each time I wander around Tumblr and I read about how AOT fans picture Levi in a sexual context, I see a lot of fanfictions of him being a dom and a master of sexâvery dominant, rough, knows every single position in bed. Given that I respect people's personal headcanons when it comes to characters since those aren't absolutely hurtful to anyone, I felt like sharing my own headcanons on his sexuality.
If we read the manga and analyze Levi's background, there's nothing that tells us that he's a virgin or not. Unless Isayama would say he is (I don't think he specified it, correct me if I'm wrong), there's a big question mark on that matter. What I do believe is that Levi knows about sex. He is, to me, like Sheldon Cooper from The Big bang theory: he knows the basics. The media shows him as a bookworm, which leads me to think that some of his knowledge on that subject came from books that he read during his life. I do picture him as one that he began to read to fight against the picture he had about himself, as an Underground resident; later in life, he began to read because he enjoyed it and it relaxed him.
That being said, just like Sheldon Cooper approached the topic of sex, flirting and dating, Levi knows how men and women would flirt and the purpose behind it for example. He mostly sees it from his comrades and the people in the Underground, but even though he recognizes a certain flirty comment or attitude, it's just that. It's like he would talk about it like he's reading from a manual. That doesn't mean he lacks affection, he's one that always showed that he cares in his own way.
Here it comes the topic of sex. I previously stated that we don't know if Levi is a virgin or not unless Isayama makes it canon. In my honest opinion, he is. During all his life and since he was a kid living and growing up in the Underground, he mostly focused on surviving, filling his stomach and not getting physically abused (just like in the Bad Boy chapter). An important detail, however, is that his mother Kuchel was a prostitute. Now, houses in the Underground were surely cramped and small; think about when Kenny found little Levi, that house was surely small. Or even the scene in Bad Boy where he makes tea; that house most likely had a bedroom, kitchen and living room altogether. If it had other rooms, those were as small as ever. A kitchen that if two people fit inside would get stuck, or a bathroom that was a stall.
When Kuchel had her clients inside her house, I firmly believe she tried to protect her son by letting him hide somewhere. Little Levi learned to recognize the moments where his mother had to work, hiding in a spot where the men she "welcomed" there wouldn't see him or else, they'd leave and that meant no money. No lunch nor dinner. Or worse, some sick men would try to have his way with him (remember in Bad Boy when those men talked about him having the same "skills" as his mother and wanted to sell him? Also, he didn't seem to be unaware about what they were talking about. That means Levi knew about what his mom's job was).
Kuchel would teach little Levi to hide, cover his ears and wait until she was done. But sometimes, as we know, men are brutal with prostitutes. She got some violent ones, and as much as she tried to keep quiet, Levi would hear her. And when he would see how those men were doing to poor Kuchel, he got traumatized. He heard their lewd words, their slurs and curses, and that got Levi permanently traumatized. From that moment on, he would see sex as violence, pain, something hurtful. No matter if he would educate himself on the matter, the wounds would always be fresh. He got so sick of that scenery, that it was like something switched in him. With him joining the Scouts and everything he went through while being a soldier, he â of course â focused on his job and the people he unfortunately lost up until the final battle.
In terms of approach to his own sexual desires, I see him being conflicted. He's a man, a human being; he got aroused at least once, to me. But that would be it. He knows what his body is trying to tell him, but indulging in self pleasure would be just because he feels too overwhelmed by it. As if he feels itchy and needs to scratch.
He surely had women flirting and throwing themselves at him. Just like he said to Zeke, he had a few successes with ladies. But that didn't mean he slept with them; again, he could recognize he was popular and some shamelessly drooled after him. He knows what dates are (he said, somewhere in the manga, "hot titan date" which if we want to be obnoxiously meticulous, that means he knows what a date is. Oh well).
This is just a little rant and random headcanon I wanted to share after quite a long time of pondering if it was a good idea or not. Once more: that's just my personal headcanon on Levi. Feel free to agree, disagree or share your own if you want đ©”
#aot#attack on titan#snk#shingeki no kyojin#aot headcanons#attack on titan headcanons#snk headcanons#shingeki no kyojin headcanons#levi#levi ackerman#levi headcanons#levi ackerman headcanons#my headcanons#levi ackerman headcanon#levi headcanon#snk headcanon#shingeki no kyojin headcanon#aot headcanon#attack on titan headcanon
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