#and there’s always new content instead of recycled shit that nobody cares about

[psychoticwillgraham]

tfw u love a game so much u spend sixty fucking dollars on currency. in my defense, it was dad’s money and he already said to buy whatever will make me happy for that period of time as long as I don’t get in the negative, and I just couldn’t think of anything physical to get bc I’m more than good on dolls for now and I’ve rlly gotta decide what keychains, charms, and stickers I want later, and I wanna support the devs bc it’s a game that doesn’t force u to spend money (u can grind for the platinum by selling stuff u get) and I’d rather spend my money on a game like that rather than give it to fucking bungie or blizzard.

[ezra-blue]

Getting a valentine for the first time

You know, I was going to post this on AO3, but that’s just going to have to wait until tomorrow.

First and Third

Word Count: ~2200

Rated: T, for mentions of sexytimes. Warning for fluff so thick you could choke on it.

Firstand Third

Thefirst time, Gojyo was just plain happy to be surprised. He wasn’tsure he deserved it, but he wouldn’t say no. He couldn’t think of anyreason for Hakkai to leave him a present on a blustery February day.The box of chocolates on the table had his name on the tag, so theywere obviously for him. He devoured every single one of them whileHakkai was putting the laundry out on the line. Hakkai returned tofind the empty box on the table, and smiled at Gojyo over the emptybasket.

“Didyou enjoy your present?”

Gojyo returned asheepish, languid grin. “They were real good. Sorry I didn’tshare.”

“Oh,no, those were all for you.” Then, he’d crossed left the clothesin the basket sitting on the table and crossed the room to kiss himon the forehead. “But perhaps you can give me a taste?”Hakkai leaned down and kissed him square on the lips, and Gojyo losthimself in the kiss. Gojyo had no idea why Hakkai was being so niceto him, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask questions whensomething in the quirk of his smile made promises Gojyo intended tokeep.

Afew weeks later, Gojyo noticed Hakkai watching him throughout theday, as if waiting for something. When he left that night to hit thecard tables, Hakkai looked immensely disappointed. Not sad, notlonely, just disappointed. Gojyo tried not to think too hard aboutwhy, since he couldn’t remember doing anything wrong, but made sureto win a big pot to bring home to him in case that was the problem.From the way Hakkai sulked about for the next few days, lips drawninto a thin and tight smile like the drawn strings of a purse, andfrom how he was equally as generous with his love and affection asthe same tightly-drawn purse might be generous with its contents,money wasn’t the problem, but Gojyo had no idea what was.

Hakkaigot over it, whatever it was.

Thesecond time, the next year, it was a bottle of plum wine and awell-made dinner to surprise him on another cold February day. Gojyohad no idea what he had done to deserve it, but he wouldn’t let thissort of treat be lost on him. Steak – Hakkai must have worked someextra compensation out of Sanzo – and sauteed shisho, all served inbeautiful rich brown sauce over rice noodles, and Hakkai let him haveseconds and as much wine as he wanted, smiling dotingly from hisplace, and Gojyo forgot he was in his own ramshackle little kitchenand lost himself in Hakkai’s adoration. Drunk and full and happy, helet Hakkai take him on the floor, singing his praises as his loverrode him to paradise.

Then,a few weeks later, again. The expectation, the disappointment. Hakkaiactually didn’t talk to him for a few days. Gojyo was on the verge offreezing to death on a cold shoulder when Hakkai finally broke theice with a gentle, “alright, then,” and tried to pick up asif nothing had happened. Which suited Gojyo fine, because as far ashe could tell, nothing had!

He’dapologize if he knew what he’d done wrong, but even though he was newto this “fucking one person on the regular” shit (hadpractically signed his soul off to him the night he shoved his gutsback in and took a mortgage on the loan the night Hakkai had savedhis life), he thought he was doing the right things! He only flirtedat bars, he shared, they talked about shit now, they were two sidesof a coin. He would do anything for Hakkai, he was still sometimesembarrassed at just how hard his heart beat when he thought abouthim. That’s what love was, if he was ever worthy of it.

Loveor no, Gojyo wasn’t sure where this hot and cold behavior was comingfrom, but Hakkai was weird. It was something he’d come to accept.Maybe Hakkai would just be weird sometimes. He thought he couldhandle that, even if it did bother him.

Thenext year, when February arrived again, they were somewhere on thepath along that road trip from hell, stopped over in a little market.Gojyo was “helping” (read: acting as pack mule and chain-smoking)as Hakkai traversed the stores, but as they filled out the list, henoticed Hakkai looking around for something. Gojyo noticed, andhopped a step closer. “What’s left to get? I’m pretty sure we goteverything Cherry-chan asked for.”

“Ah,nothing on the shopping list!” Hakkai glanced over his shoulder,smiling wryly. “I wanted to get you a little treat. For the two ofus, to celebrate.” His smile dipped, nearly imperceptibly. “Youknow.”

Gojyodidn’t. He frantically searched through his head to remember what wasspecial about February, what they were celebrating, but not a damnthing came to mind. He recalled Hakkai surprising him with chocolatetheir first February together and a really nice meal the second, buta celebration? He didn’t have the first clue! He clammed up tight,mumbling out, “Whatever you think is best, y'know. I ain’t picky.”

Hakkaichuckled and turned back around, only to pause at the next window.“Ah.” He stilled, and Gojyo stopped at his side, taking advantageof a moment to light a cigarette. Hakkai was admiring somechunky-looking woven blankets in the store window. “If only we hadroom in the budget Sanzo gave us for some of those. Camping out canget cold, especially at this time of year.”

“Pfft,budget.” Gojyo rolled his eyes at the thought. “Give thattightwad a few months, see if he doesn’t loosen up on that shit.”

Hakkailaughed again, soft and meaningless, but walked on. “Perhaps.”Gojyo studied the blankets a minute longer: the weave that lookedlike a comfy sweater, thick, cuddly-looking olive green yarn. Hakkaihad been complaining (in his subtle way) about the cold, maybesomething like this would be nice. Besides, Hakkai was celebratinghim for no good reason, maybe he should celebrate right back.

Hakkaicouldn’t do much in such harried conditions, but he somehow scrapedtogether a tiny chocolate cake and hid it from Goku long enough forhe and Gojyo to share it in the privacy of the kitchen alcove beforesharing a few sweet kisses (and no more, sadly, because Sanzo wouldhear them and give them grief), but when Hakkai retired to sleep,Gojyo slipped out, found a card house, and made to multiply thepaltry change left in his pocket.

Whateverfancy blankets cost, it was way more than ten yuan and a ramen shopcoupon. Hakkai was worth whatever this was going to take.

Overthe next weeks, Gojyo surreptitiously gambled his funds up, butbetween the days without civilization and the occasional hit of badluck, it actually took him a month all told before the money in hispocket had enough heft that he felt confident approaching a vendorselling very similar blankets in a town unfathomably far from thetown where Hakkai had first pointed them out. The one hefound wasn’t the same blanket, but it was similar, and luckyhim, there was one left. When Gojyo picked it up off of the table, itwas as fluffy as a cloud looked, and quickly warmed in his hands.Perfect. White might not clean as easily, but he was sure if anyonecould keep a white blanket clean in the wilderness, it was Hakkai.

Hakkaiwas settled in their inn when Gojyo arrived back, warming his feet bythe fire in the communal lobby and looking pensive. Gojyo realized itwas that same funk he sank into the last two Marches. No way, nottoday. He crept up behind him, walking as softly as possible, butHakkai still spun around right as Gojyo moved to drop the blanket onhis shoulders. He only succeeded in dropping it directly on Hakkai’sface. Hakkai made a soft, surprised noise and fumbled the blanketaway from his mouth.

“Gojyo- what’s -”

Gojyorecovered and fixed the blanket to wrap it around Hakkai’s arms likea shawl. “Surprise! I saw you lookin’ at blankets, and youalways get so cold when we camp out, so thought I’d pick it up forya!” He expected ‘thanks’ and an eager smile, the way he didwhen he noticed Gojyo pick up his socks or put his empties in therecycling bin at home. Instead, Hakkai looked a little devastated,and Gojyo was crestfallen. “I, uh, thought you’d be happy.”

“I…I am, I’m just… surprised.” Hakkai lifted the blanket in hishands. “You remembered White Day.”

“WhiteDay?” Gojyo thought he’d heard of that, but wasn’t sure what itmeant. No point in pretending. “Uh, sure. If I knew what thatwas.”

“Youdon’t know?” Hakkai lifted his face, his unreadable expressionshifting into surprise. “It’s paired with Valentine’s Day. Twosides of a romantic holiday.”

Valentine’sDay? Gojyo cocked his head, and Hakkai raised a hand to his mouth.“You didn’t know? My goodness, you didn’t know.” He shookhis head slowly, caught between a smile and shock. “Oh, Gojyo,I’m so sorry…”

“Forwhat?!” Gojyo crossed his arms. “I have no idea what you’retalking about!”

Hakkaiwas fighting back mirthful laughter, but composed himself enough tosay, “On St. Valentine’s Day – February 14th – women presentmen with chocolate. In the West, it’s a day for partners to show howmuch they care for each other. When I was a child, all the girls inthe orphanage were forced to give candy to the boys, even to me.”

Gojyohad never heard of this, or if he had, it was lost under years alone.He knew for sure nobody before Hakkai had ever just given himchocolate, let alone on February 14th. “And what the hell isWhite Day?”

“March14th. Men have to return presents to any woman who gave himchocolate, usually something white, like white chocolate for thebasics, or lingerie for a woman with whom they’re intimate. It’smeant to show how much he values her.” Hakkai bit back a laugh,rubbing his forehead as his cheeks turned pink, but he sobered as hewent on: “I wanted to celebrate these days with you like I hadbefore. I wanted to make you feel loved and special, but when you gotme nothing in return, I… I thought you’d forgotten.” His chindropped, touching the blanket where it was cast around his neck. “Orthat I wasn’t worth it.”

Horrorlashed through Gojyo. “Hell no! Shit, of course you’re worthit!” He circled around the chair and got down in front ofHakkai, grabbing his hands as he twisted back around to follow. “Ididn’t know, okay? I would'a gotten you stuff if I’d known!" 

"It’salright!” Hakkai cupped Gojyo’s cheek in his hand. “Isimply feel dreadful for punishing you before, for not knowing!”He ran his thumb over Gojyo’s scars and jawline. “I should haveknown.”

Gojyowinced and shook his head, then pulled his hands from Hakkai’s andtwisted them up into a pleading knot. “What do I do to make thisup to you?”

Hakkaiconsidered for a moment, then shook his head. “You don’t haveto.” He leaned forward and slid his fingers up into Gojyo’shair. “Why don’t we count this as the first one?”

Gojyofelt his heart lift a little, and grinned. “Fresh start?”

“Everyonedeserves one. After all, you gave me mine, and much more than I everasked for.” Hakkai leaned forward to kiss Gojyo on the cheek,then smiled his contentment and gazed into Gojyo’s eyes. “Andyou’ve gotten to a very good one.” He traced the edge of theblanket. “This is surely worth much more than three times morethan what I gave you before.”

“Threetimes, eh? Is that the standard?” Gojyo smirked to himself, asHakkai nodded.

“Aman should give a woman something three times the value of what shegave him, so it’s said. It’s not how it was done in the orphanage,but–”

“Yeah,three ain’t enough.” Gojyo stood up, smirking down at Hakkai.“You’re worth way, way, way more than that to me.” Withoutwarning, he scooped Hakkai up into his arms, letting the blanket fallaround him like a bridal veil as Hakkai, flustered, seized Gojyoaround the neck. “Maybe eight times. Maybe eight-hundred.”

Hakkaisounded somewhere between embarrassed and chiding, the scold allwrapped up in a whisper of his name, but Gojyo shook his head.

“That’swhat you said this is for, right? How much I love and value you? Iwouldn’t be here without you. So, how about a demonstration?”

Hakkailaughed, and settled into Gojyo’s arms. “Anything you like.”

Forthe first time, Gojyo realized what it was to have someone offer outhis very heart to him. From here on, though, he would always makesure to accept it with careful hands and return the gift bigger andbetter. That’s what love was.