#and there was this powerpoint sad photo slide and i remember this one pic of a little african kid bc it FREAKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-acid-pear · 1 year ago

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Mentioned my little brother mentioned my mother mentioned my ptsd diagnosis and I got so stressed my eyes started burning and I had to take a pill LMAO

#luly talks #pastera salio el blogger 🫢 oopsie x3 #hey hay peores. una pasta garpa más que un pucho o un trago.#soy lo suficientemente caradura para hacer un chiste sobre Malvinas y mi estres postraumático?#creo que no. me pone mal Malvinas todavia soy como león gieco literal #saben que me crié con ese tipo? todavia recuerdo el video de uhh #hora de una historia actually. when i was a kid my mother had her pc my dad's pc my pc and it was the 2000s so she has music downloaded #and other than being obsessed w the black eyed peas there was this video of leon gieco solo le pido a Dios #and there was this powerpoint sad photo slide and i remember this one pic of a little african kid bc it FREAKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME #bc it was just a little kid a little toddler who was starving i insist this was the 2000s but i for some reason thought the kid was like.#covered in needles? and i mean maybe they were. but i think i just... imagined it #the hallucinations and the intrusive thoughts aren't something i started experiencing as an adult LMAO #esp for the intrusive thoughts.#i think i just didn't realize their hair was just Like That and that's why i thought it was needles and i remember telling my mom as i #looked away scared like it was the msot fucked up shit ever bc to me it was and she was like ah yeah those are the kids [word i forgot] :/#and the fact that she didn't correct me or comfort me just eternally haunts me #i mean it definitely wont anymore now that i shared it but it always haunted me #never understood why but i think its that. i think its her lack of reaction towards me #mind you i was no older than 5-6. and she didnt even comfort me. or explain it.#which is the approach she always had towards me #which also explains why i never trusted anyone with my intrusive thoughts or hallucinations or similar #well i did as a teen when i said flashie that literally means Hallucinated but in a drug context (so a more casual one)#and even then i was like turned down like it wasn't possible #even know when i was telling my dad about my ptsd he was like well i cannot disprove what you feel but the diagnosis is subjective #and w my mother i was desperate to go to doctors and get diagnosis(-is/es?) bc i needed someone to listen to me #it is a hopeless existence i carry #and yet. i fish.#brain stuff

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