#and there definitely were difficult fights that still had that recognition. the gardener is one that comes to mind as being challenging

[zincbot]

beat undertale yellow!!

[geekywritings]

Rise of a Queen - Nikolai Lantsov x OC PART 12

The end of the war could have marked the perfect beginning of a fairytale for Nikolai and Taya. He was Tsar, the Darkling had been defeated, Ravka could finally breathe again and the couple could start focusing on their relationship. But the reality was no fairytale.

Only days after the crown had been placed on Nikolai's head, he became swept up in the responsibilities of a ruler. Endless meetings, balls, travels, and negotiations began, along with the much-needed rebuilding of the cities that had suffered during recent times. Whenever he was in the palace, there was always someone there requesting his attention or calling him to a meeting or following him with paperwork. Though more often than not, Nikolai was absent from the capital, traveling around his kingdom to meet his people and mend relations with West Ravka. It felt as if sleep or a peaceful meal had become a luxury a king could not afford.

Taya wasn't fairing much better. She tried to help Nikolai whenever she could, but she was soon also swept up in the Saadovska affairs. She had inherited the family fortune, but also her father's businesses. And there were more of them than she had ever expected! Not only did her family own several remarkable fabric businesses in Ravka, they also held shares of companies in Fjerda and Shu Han and had close business ties with Kerch traders. Furthermore, there was more land in her family's possession than anyone in all of Ravka could even imagine, including large estates and even simply lands for agriculture. It was so much that Taya spent a good few weeks trying to wrap her hand around it all before starting correspondence with her father's former business partners. Some of them were kind and understanding, but there were also those, who refused to work with a woman or tried to cheat her. For Taya this meant a lot of studying. She would spend many nights in the library, reading up on economics and business practices or former contracts until Nikolai would come and carry her back to bed after she had fallen asleep. Whenever he was not around, this task fell to Andrej or one of the twins.

Ultimately, the couple didn't have much time for romance. Ravka was like a child that required constant attention and within the first years, Nikolai and Taya felt burnt out. Yet at the same time, they couldn't feel happier. The country was flourishing, steadily gaining stability, military strength and even some recognition. So although Taya was usually the one pushing them to work more, it was her who announced one morning: "We need a break."

Nikolai had returned from a long journey to the West just the day before and still looked incredibly tired even after a good night of sleep. "What do you suggest?", he asked, his face still half-buried in the pillow. "That we run away?"

Taya chuckled, as she sat up, running a hand through his hair. "I don't think we'd get very far.", she admitted. "But I do think we can take a vacation for a couple of days without Ravka falling apart again. Besides, there is this small estate by the sea I want to visit."

"Estate by the sea?" Now Nikolai's curiosity had been piqued and he slowly half sat up as well, hazel eyes staring at her full of interest.

"Yes, apparently it has been in my family's possession for quite some time. My great great grandfather bought it for easier business with the local fishing industry. And it would be my chance to see the ocean for the first time."

Although she had joined Nikolai on several of his journeys, none of them had taken her all the way to the sea, which she longed to finally visit. "Let's do it.", Nikolai agreed, suddenly fully invested in the idea. "We will tell everyone today and be on our way by the evening."

Taya loved his enthusiasm and spontaneous nature and she nodded enthusiastically. "I will take care of packing.", she said, already mentally going over everything they would need for the short trip.

It was with a newfound energy that the two started their day, making sure that everyone knew about their departure, while also preparing for the journey. Tolya and Tamar insisted on coming along, but Nikolai refused. He wanted some time alone with Taya and where they were going, they would need neither servants nor bodyguards, he figured.

Everyone was so taken aback by the Tsar's sudden decision that nobody had much time to argue or raise concerns. And by evening, Nikolai and Taya were ready to depart. They hadn't packed much and could easily take one of Nikolai's smaller aircrafts, where he took care of navigation, while Taya kept the airship going. Traveling at night was difficult, but also much safer.

The sun hadn't even risen when they arrived at the small estate on a hill, overseeing the sea and the nearby fishing town. It was a two-story building beaten by the rough coastal weather, but still in good condition. Surrounding it was a garden full of wildflowers and tall grass. It was clear that nobody had tended to this place in quite some time. Using the key she had found in her father's study, filed correctly to the matching estate, Taya opened the door, revealing a dusty hallway, smelling of sea salt and stuffy air. At least they found that the place was equipped with working lights.

Leaving their luggage in the hallway, Nikolai and Taya just explored, opening all windows to air out the place. There was a parlor downstairs, as well as a study, a kitchen, three servant rooms, and a storage chamber. Upstairs were bathrooms and generous bedrooms, offering a stunning view of the ocean. The sunsets from this place would be quite the sight, Taya thought.

The furniture had been covered in sheets to prevent them from dusting, but they would still need to air out all linens, pillows and covers the next day. "Seems like your ancestors were quite the passionate sailors", Nikolai announced, as he joined Taya upstairs. He had found some old photographs and paintings in the study, showing her grandfather and great grandfather in this estate together with sea captains or standing in front of ships themselves.

Taya looked at them with interest, seeing them for the first time. "I didn't know that. But maybe it explains why I always wanted to go to sea.", she ran a finger over one of the photographs, realizing how much her grandfather resembled her father. A pang of pain shot through her, but she didn't allow it to take over. She would make her family proud by doing her best to carry on their legacy instead of shedding tears.

_____________________

After two days, Nikolai and Taya had settled into their little sea estate. Seeing as the linen had continued to smell of stuffy room, Taya had simply brought fresh ones in town. Not wanting any servants to disturb their peace, the couple took care of everything themselves and Taya discovered that she knew nothing about actual housekeeping. But it was fun to learn and try, even though the first meal she attempted to cook ended up being more burnt than edible.

Nikolai caught some fish, which they roasted over a fire and that tasted better than anything Taya had eaten in a while. Still, they decided to start eating in town to be among people and see what they lived like. Taya had bought some local clothes, allowing the two to blend in and for Nikolai to go unrecognized. It was lovely, living a normal life without duties or burdens.

"One day, when we are old and grey, I hope we can sit here and watch the sunset as well.", Taya said on the last evening of their stay, when the two were sitting in front of the house by the cliff, waiting for the sun to turn the ocean into the stunning shades of orange and purple Taya admired.

Nikolai smiled at her. It would be a lovely future indeed. "And who will be running Ravka?"

"Not us, for sure.", she replied with a laugh. "I suppose it would be our son."

A son. Nikolai had never thought about children before. He had been too busy being Sturmhond, getting the crown, fighting a civil war or just being Tsar. But now that she had said it, the vision would not leave his head. What would their son look like? Would his hair be darker? And whose eyes would he inherit? He hoped it would be his mothers, for he loved the blue more than he could put into words. He also hoped he would have Taya's personality, far more suitable for a ruler.

"If we do have a son, let's name him Mikhail. After my father.", she suddenly added. It was common for a prince to carry the name of a former ruler, an ancestor from the father's side, but Taya was ready to break with that tradition.

"Mikhail... I like it.", Nikolai said finally, his arm sneaking around Taya, as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "Though if he ends up anything like us as children, I feel sorry for us already." Both laughed and then just enjoyed the spectacular colors of the sunset before them.

________________________________

After the trip, Nikolai returned to work with newfound purpose and energy. He wanted to build a strong Ravka for the people and for the future. He wanted a stable country should he and Taya indeed have a son one day. He was also more determined than ever to finally marry the woman, who had been by his side for so long.

"I have an important task for you.", he announced, as Genya entered his office one afternoon. "But I must ask for utter discretion."

"Of course.", the redhead vowed, looking more and more intrigued.

"I need you to plan something"

"A Wedding?!", Genya almost squealed. "Your wedding?!"

Nikolai didn't even have a chance to answer before Genya rushed forward, both hands slamming on his desk. "I have everything thought out already.", she announced. "I have been planning this since your coronation. It needs to be a grand affair, of course. Worthy of a Tsar. But it definitely needs personal elements. I'm thinking of a lot of blue highlights to symbolize your time at sea and Taya being a Grisha and..."

"Genya... Genya.. slow down.", Nikolai spoke, even though he felt almost guilty interrupting her. She seemed so excited and he was glad to know that he had so many people behind him.

"Oh, I apologize."

Nikolai smiled, shaking his head. "No need. But what I specifically want from you is a design for a ring. Traditionally, Taya would get the Lantsov Emerald, but that is off the table.", he explained. "But I don't just wanna choose something from the treasury. I want something especially made for her. Something meaningful."

So it wasn't a wedding, but Genya was still excited nevertheless. "Oh, I will think of something!" It would be blue, she thought, but it definitely needed elements of green to hint at the traditional emerald. Without a second to waste she got to work, while Nikolai went back to planning on how he could ask Taya to marry him again.

The last proposal had been a lousy one, he thought. Absolutely not worthy of a future Queen and especially not worthy of someone like Taya. She wouldn't like an over-the-top gesture, he figured, but it had to be special nevertheless. Perhaps the finished ring would offer more inspiration.

He had no idea that he would not be asking Taya for quite some time...

[pi-cat000]

MSA: Winged Arthur AU (part 6)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, 

Part 7: here

.

Vivi POV 

Yesterday, if someone had walked up to Vivi and told her that, within the next twenty-four hours, she’d be getting attacked by crazy trees, saved by her ‘actually a giant tailed fox’ dog Mystery, and miraculously healed from life-threatening injuries by a best friend who’d suddenly sprouted wings, she’d have at least done a double take. Sure, she’s always had her suspicions about Mystery, those suspicions had stopped short at possible family guardian animal though, and she knew there was more to the world than initial impressions would suggest. God knows Arthur couldn’t go two steps without running into something strange. Then there were her own memory problems, as unexplainable as they were irritating, Arthur’s mysteriously missing arm, and a bunch of other red flags that were all rather obvious when one knew where to look. Oh no, it wasn’t the existence of supernatural monsters that had her thrown, it was just the complete SNAFU of a situation unfolding around her.

Vivi shakes Arthur, trying to push him upright. His head lolls to one side.

“Arthur,” She tries his name for the third time.

Predictably, there is no response. He’s dead to the world. Whatever that golden light did, aside from healing her up, it had knocked him out cold. In contrast, she is as energised as ever.  The haze of pain and thought consuming dizziness is gone, taking with it any fatigue. She’s pumped and ready for anything. Her shoulder is completely fine. There is no sign of her most recent stab wound anywhere.

That’s not normal.

Carefully, she shuffles around under Arthur’s deadweight. He’s heavier than she remembers. A side-effect of growing two additional limbs no doubt. The wings hang limb, a spread of uneven feathers, covering the ground on either side of them. She positions him so he is in her lap and not getting blood all over his face, checking for injuries as she goes. Geeze, if Arthur hadn’t just informed her that he was fine, she’d probably be panicking right about now. He’s a mess, with his clothes torn to shreds, hair mattered, covered in dried blood and dirt. The dark patterns and holes across his shirt hint that something sharp has gone straight into his chest. Vivi shivers, leaning in to double check, pushing aside clumps of feathers. Thankfully, he seems okay.

“Vivi.”

The voice is deep, familiar yet strange. Her attention snaps up. She doesn’t know what she expects- Lance maybe- but it’s definitely not that purple fire ghost from the spooky mansion. Vivi should really stop expecting things. After getting stabbed with a giant pair of garden shears, anything’s game.

“Hey?” She greets, unsure. Why it the mansion ghost here?

“You’re okay!” It says, relieved, “I was worried.”

“Thank you?”

Several small pink ghosts, they kind of look like blobs, creep towards her, floating near the ground. They’re super cute, and Vivi is insanely curious. She’d be all for making new ghost friends if not for the fact that Arthur is unconscious, she was just attacked by a living tree, and her last encounter with this ghost didn’t exactly end swimmingly. So, she raises herself into a crouch, and prepares to lunge forward or pull Arthur back should the need arise.

“Might want to slow down there buddy. Back up a step,” She instructs, addressing the smaller pink blobs as well. The ghost hesitates, confused, continuing with an unhelpfully baffled, “It’s me. I’m back,” like she should know who this was. Vivi gives the figure a thorough examination, sorting through her memories. It’s not hard. She doesn’t have a lot of memories anymore.

“Me who?” She asks. The response garners more confusion.

“Lewis. I’m Lewis.”

“Pardon?” She knows the name, but the recognition is hazy, linking it to one of her missing memories.

“You don’t…” The ghost starts then slaps a hand to its flaming forehead in realisation, “Oh. OH! Of course. Sorry. I…I look different like this.”

The ghost shifts, flames twisting, flickering away then settling into a more mundane purple vest, suit-pants, and hopeful smile. Aside from glowing purple eyes, this man appears entirely human. It’s pretty cool, Vivi has never seen a ghost shapeshift, but she still doesn’t know who this person is. He is familiar in the way that many things are familiar to Vivi, so she may have known him at one point. She kind of feels bad because the ghost-turned-human is looking on with such excited happiness, obviously expecting a positive reaction.

She clears her throat, “Ah. Neat trick…Is that a common ghost ability?”

She gets a pained frown. The human flickers and the fire returns, alighting in Lewis’s hair.

“You don’t recognise me?”

“No…Should I?” She has a feeling she should, but she can’t be sure. Lewis is still for a beat, bewildered and visibly distressed. Vivi is about to apologise, and maybe try and explain her memory problems, but Lewis suddenly glares at the unconscious Arthur, eyes narrowing dangerously.

Thoughts of apologies vanish, and Vivi is immediately on alert. The human vestige of Lewis flickers, flame growing. Quickly, she scoops up her aluminium bat from where it is resting on the concrete. Vivi hasn’t forgotten their first encounter with this ghost, which had involved being chased around a spooky mansion before narrowly escaping when said mansion collapsed into an inferno of fire.

“He’s done something. He made you forget,” The ghost growls, low and ominous. Fire inches towards them, creeping along the cracked concrete.

“Forget what?” She tries, only managing to throw fuel on the proverbial fire. Oh boy, this didn’t look good. Those little ghosts aren’t so cute when they are hissing hatefully at Arthur. Like ash, the fire spirit’s human façade flakes away completely. It’s mad and growing angrier by the second.

“ME!” Lewis moans, half pain and half rage, “You forgot me? Why?”

It glowers at Arthur, who is still resting in her arms, spitting, “What did he do!”

Vivi quickly lowers Arthur to the ground, springing up so she can position herself protectively over him. No way she is letting this creature hurt Arthur. Arthur may have no visible burns, but there are plenty of scorch marks on his clothes. With the ghost’s sudden mood swing, Vivi doesn’t need to be a genius to put two and two together. Deliberately, she steps forward, swinging her bat up and at the ready. This time she doesn’t have Mystery to suddenly transform into a giant tailed fox and fight her battles.

Anger, cold and hard, seals her will. Arthur’s always the one getting hurt. With nightmares, losing his arm, helping her through her memory problems when he had his own ones to deal with: the last few years have been a long series of kicks to the teeth. Vivi’s sick of it. Sick of every supernatural creature having it out for Arthur. Even when they aren’t looking for them, they come crawling out of the woodwork to make his life difficult.  Not this time.

The talisman affixed to her bat glows bright blue, responding to her resolve. Vivi knows that, if the bat connects with the ghost, it’s going to hurt. She’s counting on it. Her breath mists like it might on a cold winter morning. Simultaneously, the temperature around her drops. Funny, considering that ghost across from her is fire based, she’d expect the opposite.

“If you come any closer. I’m going to wack that skull right off your body,” Vivi threatens.

Her blatant aggression throws off whatever this ghost-Lewis is planning.

“Get away from him.” He snaps, “He’s not your friend.”

“No.” She retorts easily.

.

Note: Lewis making a great first impression. Next part will probably be another Vivi POV. 

Part 7: here

[forthisone]

Nick & June tag game

I’m late to the party but I found this and I wanted to answer these questions, so here we are. Sorry, I copied and pasted the questions a while ago and now I can’t remember who to credit. My answers are behind the Read more.

1. What’s your favorite Nick x June scene?

2. At what point while watching the show did you realize you were invested in their relationship?

3. If you hadn’t already read the book and knew they would be a thing. When did you say “Oh yeah, something is going to happen with these two?” Or were you kinda caught of guard?

4. What do you think their relationship means to them? For June and Nick as individuals?

5. What was your reaction when it was revealed June was pregnant with Nick’s baby?

6. What do you think their relationship brings to the show overall? And what are some of the things you love most about their relationship?

7. The nursery scene. Discuss.

8. Favorite June moment on the show.

9. Favorite Nick moment on the show.

10. What scene of theirs do you feel is a bit underrated?

Bonus: Is June cheating on Luke?

1. What’s your favorite Nick x June scene?

So hard to pick. But I think it’s when June tells Nick she is pregnant. His reaction is almost so unexpected (especially in this show) and you see a switch flip in his mind. He goes from pushing her away and being guarded, to fully embracing his feelings for her and the baby in a split second. The look on his face when he says “What?” breaks me and then he sinks down to her and nestles into her. You can see him thinking like “Fuck, I’m so sorry for pushing you away. But I’m here now.” It is just so refreshing to see some affection in this world of horror. He gives June back some hope and some fight too in that scene as I think she is pretty broken mentally with the thought of facing a pregnancy alone. And like someone I reblogged said in a post recently… he sees Serena watching them, and he doesn’t even flinch. YES, NICK.

2. At what point while watching the show did you realize you were invested in their relationship?

I watched Seasons 1 & 2 in a matter of days so it is all a bit of a blur. But I remember a scene that stood out to me when I first watched it was the kiss in 2.07 at the hospital. When Nick says he won’t let anything happen to June and she replies “What about you?” and Nick’s just left speechless and looks overcome and then kisses her, I was gone. I loved it because, to me, it’s him finally getting some real acknowledgement from her that she really does care about him and he’s, like, overcome by that feeling because he hasn’t felt like he means something to anyone in so long. There’s a glimmer of it in the previous episode where she says “I think about [the three of us] too” and “I can’t lose you, do you hear me?” but she’s still quite cold with him, after he tells her he loves her. But in the “What about you?” moment she finally gives in to what she’s feeling and he feels it and it really got me emotionally.

The other moment was probably the scene in 1.10 which I spoke about in my previous answer.

3. If you hadn’t already read the book and knew they would be a thing. When did you say “Oh yeah, something is going to happen with these two?” Or were you kinda caught of guard?

I hadn’t read the book but I have now! Again, it was all a blur when I binge-watched so I can’t totally remember. For some reason, I think I didn’t fully realise how close they get in their scene where he brings her the ice. I don’t think I watched that scene properly; if I had, I think it would have been then. I think I kind of felt something from their very first episode though, in the sense of their first scene (about tuna) being played as if Nick was filling the “love interest”/ eye-candy role (he’s a lot more than that of course but that’s what I clocked at the start). And them staring at each other in the garden, him watching from the stairs, I was definitely intrigued.

And yeah, the sex scene was fiiiiire. So that too. But I guess it was pretty obvious by that point.

4. What do you think their relationship means to them? For June and Nick as individuals?

For Nick, I think it gives him a glimmer of hope, which he hasn’t felt in a long time. He finally has a purpose. He’s been alone for so long and finally he has something in his life that means something to him again.

For June, Nick gives her a much-needed escape from this hell that she is in. He gives her a safe haven. He looks out for her. He helps her to survive. We’ve seen in Season 3 how she isn’t coping without love to ground her in this awful place.

5. What was your reaction when it was revealed June was pregnant with Nick’s baby?

Well, I talked about the actual scene above. So I’ll talk about some other stuff around this...

At first, I was not totally sure why it was just assumed it was Nick’s and any thought of it being Waterford’s was dismissed. I understand why Serena and June think that and want to believe it, but I didn’t understand the 100% confidence as it’s never actually confirmed; it’s not like they do a DNA test. Obviously, as a Nick/June shipper I fully accept that he is Holly’s father and I don’t doubt it, but I just felt like that was handled a bit oddly.

I do also wish we knew how much time passed between Episode 5 (when they started having sex) and Episode 10 (when the pregnancy is revealed). I’d like to know when the baby was actually conceived because I’m weird about knowing details and overly invested. I’ve thought too much about this, but I’m assuming too much time passes for it all to be within one month, personally I think it’s more likely conceived around Episode 8 before Nick breaks it off. I wonder what Serena actually thought about this, because if it’s impossible it was conceived in Episode 5 when she was in the apartment with them (because too much time has passed), then she must realise that they’ve been sleeping together without her knowledge. If so I assume the reason she doesn’t say anything (ie. have Nick killed) is because she doesn’t want the parentage of the baby to be questioned; she wants it to be seen to be Waterford’s and “rightfully hers” in the eyes of Gilead. Or whatever bullshit. Unless Serena arranged for them to sleep together for more than just that first time. But my shipper brain doesn’t like to contemplate that and I think June confirms this when she says in a V.O. “So I’ve gone back to Nick, time after time, on my own.”

6. What do you think their relationship brings to the show overall? And what are some of the things you love most about their relationship?

God, what don’t I love about their relationship?

It’s pretty obvious to me that what their relationship brings to the show is a consensual, loving relationship in a world built around the systematic abuse of women. It’s light in the darkness. Love as an act of defiance. Comfort.

I love how their relationship started off as a flirtation, which then grew into sex and June taking back her sexuality, then they both realise how hard they are falling for each other, then there is a BABY, and what started off as this flirtation is just such a powerful force now (or, was, before he disappeared from Season 3). I love how Nick has gone from this pawn in Gilead with a pretty empty existence to someone who loves this woman so much he will literally do anything for her, even if it’s negating his own self-preservation, as Max said. It shows the power of love.

And another thing that sets them apart for me is their frankly ridiculous chemistry and how hot their kissing and/or love scenes are. Consent, tick. Female empowerment, tick. Fucking hot, tick.

7. The nursery scene. Discuss.

It was a beautiful, beautiful, touching scene. And the subtitles, with Nick whispering “Hey, sweetie” and “You’re really cute” were adorable to me.

I love it but it also scares me that it might be the only truly happy moment they ever get. I am worried the writers gave us that because they knew they were just going to rip it all away somewhere down the line.

As with almost all their scenes, it’s not June telling him she loves him that gets me but Nick’s reaction to it. And also the way he smiles and looks at his new daughter. Honestly, Max is amazing in this show and just needs so much more recognition than he gets.

8. Favorite June moment on the show.

Wow, that’s hard. I think it might be in 1.06 when she has the tremendous courage to tell the Mexican ambassador the truth about her reality in Gilead. And she says “Please, don’t be sorry. Do something.” She was awesome in that moment.

9. Favorite Nick moment on the show.

This is even harder because I literally adore him. Apart from the scenes I’ve already mentioned....

2.09 - his selflessness in this episode is just beyond words, both in the scene with Luke and the scene with June. The way he can’t even bear to look at her as he tells her that Luke loves her and always will and he turns away because his heart is literally breaking, but he still tells her anyway because he’s a good fucking man. God. Max kills it in this scene (they both do, to be fair).

2.12 - the scene with him and Eden in the locker room is heart-breaking and it shows that he’s not only a good person when it comes to June, which I think is important. His relationship with Eden is such a difficult one. As horrific a situation as he was in, as much as he was forced into the marriage, she was innocent and he could have been a lot kinder to her in their conversations in the apartment, but I think the fact that he acknowledges this and asks for her forgiveness, means a lot to her (especially in this patriarchal system) and she forgives him, and she is able to get some closure and peace from that admission before she dies. I think it’s an important scene for Nick’s character and very well acted by both Max and Sydney, so it deserves a mention for me.

10. What scene of theirs do you feel is a bit underrated?

All of their scenes are so amazing, I’m not sure if any is underrated by their fans.

Their scene in 2.03 at the Globe is maybe one. Nicks telling her she may be leaving soon, and it’s better for everyone if she goes. He’s essentially trying to convince her that it’s ok for to leave, even without Hannah, but also without him. Even though it means they’ll probably never see each other again. He does it because he wants her safe. Even though he will lose her.

And the way she hugs him at the end... she knows this may be goodbye. She closes her eyes and leans into him.

Also June’s V.O. at the beginning of 1.08 because it’s showing how much Nick is starting to mean to her and occupy the same mental space as Luke does. “I want to know him, memorise him, so I can live on the image later. I should have done that with Luke, because he’s fading…”

And maybe the cassette scene in 3.05. I don’t think it’s underrated by Nick/June fans, because we’ve clung to all we can this season, but maybe by other fans who don’t appreciate the significance in showing that June loves Nick enough to tell Luke about him, even though it may mean the end of her relationship with Luke. Leading me on to the last question...

Bonus: Technically speaking, June’s relationship with Nick can be classified as an affair because she’s married to another man. Do you see their relationship as June cheating given the unique situation they are in? Or do you feel because of the circumstance they are in, it’s a grey area and as such it’s unfair to classify it as straightforward as June is cheating?

I have rewritten this answer a couple of times. It’s a difficult question. If I put myself in Luke’s shoes? If I found out that my husband, even though he knew I was alive, was still sleeping with and had fallen in love with another woman? And that finding out I was alive hadn’t stopped him doing it? Then, yeah, I’d feel like he was being unfaithful. If I’m honest. I may not blame him, but it would still hurt.

But, the key for me with them is this: to me, cheating implies you are lying to the other person. Crucially, because of the situation June is in, separated from him for years, she doesn’t have the opportunity to tell him the truth. And, actually, when she does have that opportunity (the cassette tape), she does tell him. Straight away. Which is huge. So she’s not lied to him. And that for me means this can’t be classed as cheating. She didn’t choose to be separated from Luke. She was lonely for years, thought he was dead for years, and then she grabbed a chance at love and she fell in love with someone who loves her so much he’d die for her. It’s not like it’s just a fling. Is she just meant to be alone in this hell indefinitely?

[jbaeteng]

David in BOA #2 Mar 2019

What do you lose if you win everything? David Alaba and Jérôme talk about victories and defeats - on and off the pitch

The Munich Glockenbachviertel on a mild February afternoon. David Alaba appears with mirrored sunglasses in the photo studio, where the shoot for this issue is to take place. Jérôme is already there, receiving his teammate in the dressing room. A handshake, a smile, then the funk starts. Jérôme says to the make-up artist: "Please put a lot of make-up on David's skin." David soon gets his revenge in the photo studio as he grunts at Boateng with a grin. The native Viennese and the native Berliner do not need a long warm-up to get in the mood. It's Travis Scott. Between the recordings David Alaba dances in the studio, Jérôme raps.

Both of them actually came here to talk to us about a big topic of life: about victories and defeats, sporty and personal. As defenders, they are at least sporty, so our guess. On the plus side: Both won together with the team of FC Bayern six German championships, three DFB Cups and a Champions League trophy. But they also know what it means to lose. The tragic »Finale dahoam« 2012. The repeated defeats in the European Champions League against Real Madrid, FC Barcelona and Atlético Madrid. And if the individual form did not fit, the critics did not deal with the two tenderly. As a professional footballer they learned early that even fame and recognition can be lost quickly. As people, they learned how difficult it is to make friends and meet women when you can not even walk on a street unrecognized. So what do you lose when you have won almost everything? We have a few questions. Here we go.

David and Jérôme, is winning an addiction?

D Maybe already, but a positive addiction. J To win a big title in a big stadium is like a rush, an absolute feeling of happiness. And if I'm not allowed to play, for example because I'm hurt, I can not wait to get back on the pitch. It tingles in me. I do not know many addictions, but maybe the term is actually quite good. You give your all to get back in the field as fast as possible, to play, and yes, to win. It was a dream as a child.

What's better: playing in front of 70 000 spectators in the stadium or sex?

J Depends on how sex is. But if you ask me for the best feeling I can remember, the answer is not difficult. That was the moment when we became world champions in Rio de Janeiro. Even in Brazil, where football is almost a religion. I still can not believe it.

David, was triple-year 2013 the biggest in your career for you? D Yes, clearly, that was enormous. When I think about how much power that cost back then, how many victims we had to bring, physically and mentally, to collect the harvest in the end, to become German Champion, Champions League winner and cup winner. But equally emotionally were my two debuts at Bayern and in the Austrian national team. These were events that I did not dare to  even dream about as a little boy in Vienna. I also think there are many different highlights in a career, sometimes they can be very small, but they are meaningful to you personally. J That's right. For example, if you can save the ball on the goal line in a game and know that this really helps the team in the situation, because this again forces are released. As at the EM 2016.

Is a big stadium necessary for great feelings of victory, or is this also possible on a football pitch? D victories in front of great audience, of course in the home stadium in particular, but also in the legendary arenas such as Madrid, London or Dortmund are always something incredible that I can hardly get used to. The feeling of victory on the football field can also be moving. I still remember how I kicked in the small squares of Vienna as a teenager. Since I never thought that it is about nothing. On the contrary, buffets are about something that most even consider most sacred - honor. J I can only confirm that. Emotions take place in the huge stadium as well as on a small playing field. If I bet with my friends on the pitch, who wins, it can get down to business.

When were you last on a football field?

J I gambled with mates in my garden in Munich in September. We played three against three. Although I watch a bit in a duel, you do not want to hurt yourself - but I have to win already! D He then chooses the teams so that he does not have to do much, but still wins.

How long does the feeling of happiness last after winning a trophy? D Our profession is fast-paced. When the new season comes, the last title is immediately forgotten. In addition, you should not lose as a Bayern player actually. Otherwise, the pressure will quickly increase and everything in the media will be called into question. This has been seen again in the first round. J One must also remember that one was hardly used to defeats at Bayern. This is not supposed to sound overbearing, but controlling the League as much as our team for several seasons changes the mindset of all players and maybe even the people around it. Victories are the norm. If, as in this first round, we suddenly do not win in almost every Bundesliga game but lose ourselves at home, it is suddenly a new feeling that we all have to deal with. That also unsettled us as a team. It is all the better if you can fight back, as at the beginning of the second half, when we approached Dortmund. That gave a boost.

Do defeats have a longer after-effect than victories? J In any case. I can not lose, I've never been able to, not even in my youth. If I lose, my mood is often legendary lousy for days. It can happen that I can not speak for anyone, listen to music, nothing else. Only my two daughters can get me out of this condition, for example if they want to get on my arm. Then I feel better.

Do not you also console all the titles you already have? D Unfortunately not. What lies behind us does not matter anymore. If Jérôme and I slip through in the defense, it does not help much that we both won the triple years ago. But that's also the cool thing about sports. With every kick-off, it starts again.

David, how do you deal with setbacks? D defeats affect me very differently, depending on how the game was. If you lose in the first round against Borussia Mönchengladbach, that's not nice. Worse, the defeat last season felt in the semifinals in the Champions League. That's where we went against Real Madrid, even though we were the better team. This is especially bitter. You work towards the goal of winning the Champions League for so long - and suddenly it's all over, even though you were better.

These weeks will decide if you will end this season as a felt winner or loser. Does it also depend on you feeling like a winner or loser for one summer? D At least I can say that if you win the Champions League then you're in a different mood for a summer. In the summer of 2013, I definitely shot down a few rockets! J Yes, but if I fly out of such an important competition unhappily, I need my peace first. Then I can not go on holiday with friends and celebrate parties, but stay with the family, which brings me to other thoughts. Everyone has their own methods to deal with disappointments. I am a believer, draw my strength from it. I pray and read in the Bible. I do that in front of almost every game in the hotel room and afterwards when I get home.

Do you always want to win when playing Monopoly, Cards or PlayStation? J As I said: I can not lose, no matter where. I get extremely angry then. Especially if I feel that I have been treated unfairly. D I'm fine too. If I lose, everything is unfair. But you have to explain that we both play rather little. In the team, others are the gamer.

Do you have the feeling that you are winning or losing on important match days in the morning?

J Yes, I have. And mostly the feeling comes true.

D I have it too, but if I have a bad feeling in the morning, I try to deal with it, leave the negative thoughts aside, and concentrate on more positive things. This sometimes works.

Is it true that the coaching in the half-time break can decide on victory or defeat? J The speeches are very important. The team listens closely to how the coach talks about individual players. That makes a huge difference. When the coach proves to be sensitive and sets the right tone, we attack players in a different way.

Which coaches have reached you the best? D Hard to say, everyone has their own style.

J For me, Jupp Heynckes and Pep Guardiola were the best coaches. Tactically, Pep was the best I met. He just saw almost everything in the square. Jupp and Pep have personally motivated me most in the cabin.

Who did not do that well? D I want to clean up with a common misconception. If it does not work, it is often said that the coach does not reach the team anymore. That's true in the rarest cases. Most of the time it's up to something else. J I have seldom experienced that. If anything, there was a language barrier. That was the case with Carlo Ancelotti, who spoke a lot of Italian. Since we could not communicate so well. In addition came the getting used of Peps football to Carlos football. These were two different ways of looking at the way you play football. The transition was very complex.

When do you get more WhatsApp messages from friends and acquaintances: when you won or when you lost? D I get more news on wins. J In my case, that keeps the balance. More importantly, the bigger the game, the more messages I have on my phone. If we've lost, there are actually only two varieties: either "head up, well played" or "Can I be in the next game?"

Many well-known people report that success and fame also lead to a very different profit, namely to a significant increase in new friends, acquaintances and those who would like it. Can you confirm that? D Yes, there is something in it. There are so-called friends who are only there for you if you give them the crème de la crème of one. And there are the real friends who always there for you. So I had to learn to deal with it. I had to build up human knowledge. And I also had to part with one or the other. J I imagine that I am careful enough and only slowly open myself to new people. That's my protection.

Do you sometimes notice how other professionals are flocking gold diggers, ie people who only or mainly want to gain the assets of the players? J I can see that already. At Bayern or at the national team I know no player who surrounds himself with these gold diggers. But abroad I see in some restaurants, colleagues, where I creeps this dull feeling that it is not everyone honestly means. What sometimes sit there for funny people at the tables!

David, how do you protect yourself from false friends? D I'm always traveling with the same people With the Kobli (Philipp Koblischek, editor's note) I played together in Austria at Austria Wien. We have known each other since we were ten. Two or three years ago he moved from Vienna to Munich. That makes me very happy.

How many best friends do you have? D For me it's the Kobli! J I have only one best friend, Alex. I've known him since I was six. Our friendship deepened over the years. Alex lives in Berlin. He also has a family, two children, a job. We call every day. We exchange ideas, we really talk about each other. He knows me inside out. He just remembers me writing him on Whatsapp, whether I'm good or bad. With the latter, he also knows that he should rather not call now.

Back to our magazine motto "Win & Lose": Which sacrifice you had to make for your professional career was the hardest for you? J First, there were the typical victims as a teenager. When my friends went to the disco, I usually went to bed early. As a professional footballer we have to give up a part of our private life. I can not go to the swimming pool or the cinema with my children without being disturbed or without my children noticing that they are being watched. D That's why I've got more mixed feelings of fame now than I used to, when I was happy to see myself in the paper. I remember how much I, as a child, dreamed of having my own poster in Bravo Sport. That has completely settled.

You can also win and lose in love. Do you have any tips on how to conquer the hearts of women? J I can not say I have a specific method that always works. Women have different tastes. Some like a cool look, others humor or clever, profound conversations. I always try to show good manners, to behave like a gentleman, to hold the door. D I also do not know if it's just about impressing someone. It is more important to me to find a woman who does not want to get to know the professional footballer David Alaba, but the person David. I still remember my first relationship, my childhood sweetheart. Since I had no problem at all to build trust. I did not have a known name back then. In my second relationship, I needed much longer for that. And today it takes even longer before I can totally open myself.

J I'm fine too. In the meantime, I prefer it best if the woman does not understand football at all, does not even know who I am. But that is mostly the case abroad and not everywhere anymore.

Is that why you travel to the US so often because footballers are more likely to be left alone? J Both of us are mainly going to America because of the lifestyle: we like the people, the sports, the fashion and the music. And I personally like that so many nationalities come together in cities like New York and Los Angeles. D We do not go to America to meet ladies! (:D)

One day, the question will ask you how you want to end your careers. And with it, how you will cope with the loss of your favorite occupation. Some ex-professionals have lost their sense of life in these turmoil, others lost their wealth. How do you deal with it? D Sorry, but I do not think about such things. Even though I've heard that one should plan the life after the football out and provide accordingly, I must say: I think only from week to week. J Maybe you notice the four-year age difference that separates David and me. Because I have to say that I know only one fear: the end of my career. I am seriously concerned with the question of what will happen if one day I can no longer play football. Football is my life. I can not imagine this feeling that I will have after my retirement. I'm afraid of that. I know that one day I will have to retire. But on the other hand, it does not want to go right into my head.

People who had to rebuild their lives, it should have helped to look forward to something that they had to give up a long time. What would you think? J I would take a long trip around the world after the end of my career, look at everything, start in Australia, I always wanted to go there. That would be the first. You can still do a coaching certificate later. D Maybe you can train me then yes. Because then I will definitely still play. But seriously: I do not look that far ahead. I hope that I can live my dream for a few more years.

[ikemen1059-blog]

Love Measurements

Shingen X MC one shot

1251 words

Hope you all like people and forgive my english 😅

Set in Kasugayama Castle

It had been some weeks, but now Shingen was back in the castle. He spent time back in one of the provinces, setting some affairs in his clan’s name, solving problems, “warlording around”, like MC used to say. How he missed his princess, her smile, her smart mouth and sharp tongue. Her skin, warm and soft against his own. Only the thought of her made him walk around the castle’s grounds with urge, so they could meet sooner.

Shingen tried her room, the audience chamber, everywhere he thought he could meet her. While he walked near the gates again, desperate in search, a familiar voice called for him.

“Shingen-sama!” Yukimura came towards him, holding a cloth in his hand. “Welcome back.”

“Thank you, Yuki. How are things around here?”

“Today is a good day, but a week ago Kenshin-sama had a meltdown and tried to slice everybody to forget his boredom. Sasuke managed to bribe him.”

“That’s like him. What’s that you’re holding Yuki?” Shingen pointed to the cloth and Yukimura unwrapped it, revealing a well sewed red haori, adorned with white flowers and golden lapels. “It’s a beautiful job. Where did you buy it?”

“Actually, it was MC who sewed it for me. Some weeks ago, she wanted to visit the town, so I escorted her. While we passed near a fabric shop, she showed interest in the pattern and said it matched my eye color, or something like that, and told me she would be happy to sew something for me. She has quite a talent, Sasuke and Kenshin-sama both wear her creations, and she became quite popular, thanks to some gossip. She gets fabrics every week now and many people come often to see her and order clothing.”

“My princess?! My, my… I knew she wouldn’t stay put for long. Where’s she? I’ve been looking for her the minute I arrived.”

“We set up a room near the west gardens where she… Shingen-sama!” Yukimura nearly finished his sentence, but Shingen stormed off, hurried to meet MC again.

��Who would have thought that the little princess had such a talent?’ He thought while peeking through the sliding door, watching her kneeled down, sewing a golden and blue pattern. When he slid the door a bit more, so he could enter the room unnoticed, it made a noise which caused her to turn and stare to him, in awe.

“Shingen!” She dropped everything she was doing and run to hug him, jumping to reach his neck. “You’ve come back! I missed you so much, why didn’t you send news? I was worried.”

“I’ve missed you too, my princess. You didn’t have to worry about me, I’ll always return to you.”

“I’ve missed these picked flirty lines of yours as well. I’m so happy! Have you just arrived?”

“How can you tell?” MC pulled off from him a little and touched his chest.

“You still have you armor on. And you are dusty from the road. Were you in a hurry to get here?”

“Yes. I’ve heard about a famous seamstress in the castle. I wanted her to sew some clothes to me.” She blushed in response and smiled shyly. “Could you?” He asked, kissing the back of her hand and pressing it against his cheek.

“Actually, I was intending to sew something for you, but I didn’t have your measurements. You’re taller than the most men, so it’s kind of difficult, not having a model or any references.”

“Why models when you can have me here?” She smiled ironically and caressed his face.

“Well, I wanted to surprise you. I’ll fetch a paper and something to write. You can take the armor off.”

MC started to look into her stuff, since she liked to keep everything in a state of “organized mess”. After she found paper, a piece of graphite and her measuring tape, she turned back to Shingen, who was now wearing only his carmine hakama, hands on his hips, exhibiting his strong and massive physics.

“Well, well, well… don’t need to blush, MC, you’ve seen this plenty of times.”

“I said ‘take off your armor’, not your clothes.”

“I thought you’ve missed me. Now I’m hurt.” He gave her a fake pout, making her giggle.

“Yeah, yeah… now stand still, I’ll take some of your measurements and you can put your clothes on.”

She began to walk around him, taking notes and measuring his back, shoulders and arms. He was way bigger than regular, if she tried to sew him something without having at least a notion, she would fail. Even though she knew his body well, where to press, kiss and bite, taking her beloved’s measurements certainly gave her another perspective over him.

“There, I’ve even chose the fabric.” She returned from the closet with a dark red silk fabric, stamped with lotus flowers and light green leaves. “It’ll be beautiful. See how it falls on your shoulders?”

“I think something would be better if it falls off your shoulders.”

With a quick move, Shingen untied her obi and opened her kimono, revealing her white, smooth skin. “Now, that’s definitely more beautiful to see falling.”

“Shingen!” MC shouted, pressing her arms around herself, protectively. “It’s not the time, we have broad daylight outside.”

“I didn’t know I have to wait until nightfall to love you, my darling.” She blushed again and he pulled her by the wrists. “I’ve missed you so much MC, don’t keep me waiting any longer. And… there’s another measurement you could take down here.”

“You’re such a perv, Shingen.” Mc said, making him laugh softly.

She smiled softly and took a step near him, raising her hands to his face and standing on the tips of her toes. Kissing her neck and her body as he kneeled, Shingen pushed her kimono down and pulled her to the floor, hovering her delicate frame.

They began a slow recognition of their bodies, remembering all of each other weak spots, secret places that only the other knew about. When he reached for MC’s legs and laid himself on her, moving his hips, she felt her body melt, like it was floating, drifting under him, and she allowed him guide her. She longed so much for that again; Shingen was such a devoted lover, she couldn’t fight against his touching, his words, his love.

“Ah!” She sighed loudly as he bite her ear’s lobe, making her body shiver and she nailed his broad shoulders.

Soon, they relaxed, lost in themselves, enjoying the sound of their accelerated breath, gradually normalizing, clinging in each other, among the many fabrics MC worked on.

“I love you Shingen. So very, very much.”

He looked down to meet her eyes and caressed her pink cheek.

“Sometimes I think my heart will burst, by only looking to your gorgeous face. I love you too, my little princess. My goddess, my queen, my everything. I’ve missed you so much.” She snuggled herself to hide her red face. Whenever Shingen complimented her, or demonstrated his feelings, she would get red as a pepper. “MC?”

“Yes?” He reached her chin and lift her face.

“It doesn’t matter how far I am from you, even if it’s a distance you couldn’t measure. I’ll always love you. You know that, don’t you?”

MC just smiled and reached for his lips, reassuring she felt just like him, no matter what, because they both knew that there was no measurement for their love.

[beckettsthoughts]

i wanna know as much about your oc as possible!! answer all the questions that really interest you

Thank you so much for asking! I don’t talk about it a lot, but I really do love the opportunity to gush about my OCs. Beware though, this is longer than my last university essay so you’d better strap in for a long ride. I’ve been working on this periodically since I woke up this morning and now I’ve just finished it before I settle down for the night. I’m sorry for the wait, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless:

2. Do they have any titles? How did they get them?

Renard actually does have a title, he holds the Duchy of Saint Félix! Being the Duc, Renard has a certain amount of power over the region’s land and also holds the deeds to the manor house which is situated at the peak of the hill that houses the town of Saint Félix. Renard got the title of Duc from the old Duc de Saint Félix, who was a close family friend and mentor of Renard’s. He had no children to pass the title on to, so it went to Renard instead since he had been a live-in student at the manor for several years by the time the old Duc passed away.

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory? 

Renard had a good childhood, it was not the most exciting life but he enjoyed learning and the little exploring he was allowed to do. It involved travelling, which he loved, as his parents were fond of visiting all sorts of towns and cities. Each one involved museums, restaurants, beautiful architecture and cultural sites that lent a great deal of nuance to Renard’s education. At home, he enjoyed the formal gardens in any season and often went back and forth between his own home and that of his aunt’s for lessons and lectures. The only truly bad memory he can recall from his childhood is the time when his parents forbid him from seeing one of his best friends when they found out that she wasn’t fae. Though he understands that decision as an adult and how beneficial it was to his safety, twelve-year-old Renard was not quite so forgiving.

4. What is their relationship with their parents? What’s a good and bad memory with them? Did they know both parents? 

Renard maintains a pleasant but distant relationship with his parents. He sees them every few years but otherwise writes them fortnightly letters about his travels, his learning and his friends. He is grateful for their support, as they were enthusiastic and accomodating of his desire to leave home and travel, to pick up new skills and occupations as he went. They do not provide with anything except the occasional gift and he sends them souvenirs and books in return. Renard’s mother is the type to visit every so often if Renard needs support or comfort, but those sorts of visits are increasingly rare.

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

Renard does not have any siblings but instead was raised closely alongside his cousins. The two family homes were close-by, separated only by arable farmland and agricultural fields that lined the road between them. Renard took his lessons in his aunt and cousins’ household and they would often spend the weekends at his. He sees his cousins a lot more often than he sees the rest of his family and offers them a place in his home when they are travelling through Saint Félix. His relationship to them has changed a little, but remains vastly the same. The only real change is how they relate to other through shared experiences and interests that they’ve developed since childhood, and this change is more exciting than it is daunting, to Renard. He is often pleased to hear about his cousins’ new interests and whether or not he shares them, or what he can learn from them and about them.

7. Did they have lots of friends as a child? Did they keep any of their childhood friends into adulthood? 

Renard did not have many childhood friends outside of his family, as his family lived in an area fairly isolated from other fae. He did befriend humans on numerous occasions when he was very young but from the age of twelve this habit was promptly squashed. Throughout his adolescence he befriended many of the guests who stayed in his family’s home, however, and many of these friends he still has contact with and will invite for dinner if they happen to be nearby.

8. Did they have pets as a child? Do they have pets as an adult? Do they like animals? 

Renard has actually never kept any pets himself. His family used to keep hounds but he rarely saw them and didn’t get along very well with them, and if he was going to keep any pets as an adult he’d want to keep fish. He’s not often staying in one place, though, so care for animals such as fish would be difficult without palming the responsibility off on Perro whenever he left on his travels. Shapeshifters, he has found, have a strange relationship with animals and it’s not one he’s had a great chance to explore. 

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals? 

Animals do like Renard, for the most part, except for the fact that dogs can often sense his distaste for their kind. 

10. Do they like children? Do children like them? Do they have or want any children? What would they be like as a parent? Or as a godparent/babysitter/ect?

Children, like dogs, have a one-sided relationship with Renard. They do not have an inherent dislike of him, but they would like him much more if he showed any affinity for them.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Renard has a fair talent for cooking, and makes it an objective to learn at least a couple of new techniques from wherever it is he’s living or travelling. He also has an incredible talent for convincing people he is better than he actually is, by preparing simple but foreign meals with a complex presentation. Perro is the only person who has learned to see through this, and often makes passing comments about it at dinner parties.

16. Do they collect anything? What do they do with it? Where do they keep it? 

Renard collects souvenirs, artwork and also feathers. The souvenirs are kept throughout his various properties, with his favourites lining the shelves in his Saint Félix flat and the larger pieces and artwork residing in the manor house. The feathers are kept in old coloured-glass wine bottles and several are displayed in the library of the manor house.

20. Do they like musicals? Music in general? What do they do when they’re favourite song comes?

Renard is a fan of music and often finds himself drawn to places of music. Concert halls, theatres, pubs and cobbled town squares. Because of the style of music Renard most enjoys, his reaction is often just to let himself be, listen reverantly and with nothing else occupying his mind. It’s calming and cathartic. If it’s folk that he’s listening to, however, he will join in with the dancing with an unmatched enthusiasm. He is indeed a fan of musical theatre, too, and will buy tickets to whatever travelling show is making it’s way through town.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Oh, Renard definitely has a temper. He has a pretty wicked temper, actually, but it’s not always obvious when he loses it because he doesn’t get violent or aggressive but rather he gets quiet and sharp. He fights with words, primarily, and he doesn’t fight with nasty words either. Instead, Renard’s wars are waged with snide comments and backhanded compliments. He has a lot of patience where certain people are concerned, though (‘certain people’, when talking of Renard, usually means Perro)

23. Do they have a good memory? Short term or long term? Are they good with names? Or faces?

Renard has a good memory, and he is impeccable with faces and names. He credits this to a childhood of being introduced to powerful and upper-class guests and having to know each of them and how to address them. He finds it quite funny when he remembers exactly who people are and they only look at him with an expression of faint recognition. 

28. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Losing people, I think. Renard knows a lot of people but has few very close friends and partners, and he is terrified of losing them (in any sense that might mean). He also has a primal fear of the deep ocean, which he has mostly learnt to keep in check because he spends a lot of time out at sea. As long as he’s well above it in a substantial boat, he’s usually fine.

29. What do they do when they find out someone else’s fear? Do they tease them? Or get very over protective? 

Renard, with the fears of other, will usually respond with lighthearted joking. He does this mostly to gauge how they want him to respond, whether or not they joke back determines Renard’s long-term plan. If they don’t want to talk about it, he’ll leave it alone and simple avoid the topic and steer them away from things that might trigger them. If they joke about it, he’ll joke with them and often poke fun at his own fears so he doesn’t seem condescending. If they’re clearly serious phobias, he will get protective over them. He does his best to shelter Perro and Jolie from their worst fears whenever he can, and when he can’t he’s always happy to listen and comfort them as best he can.

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Renard does not often drink, but he will on occasion. Never enough to make a fool of himself. He’s only been properly drunk on one or two occasions when he was younger and he didn’t find them enjoyable, nor does he like the taste enough to justify the experience. The main reason Renard will drink at events is because he’s expected to, because he’d look strange not drinking.

32. What do they dress like? What sorta shops do they buy clothes from? Do they wear the fashion that they like? What do they wear to sleep? Do they wear makeup? What’s their hair like?

Renard loves clothing both soft and fancy, so expect any tweed suits of his to be complimented by faux-fur scarves and gloves. He loves jewellery and accessories, with a particular fondness for gloves, rings and brooches, and he spends the majority of his income on looking nice. His hair is a bright auburn colour, lies almost dead straight and is usually cut into a bob, but he has worn it both longer and shorter in the past. His face, if he is out in public, is hidden behind an intricately-painted wooden fox mask, held in place using magic but occasionally decorated with ribbons and beads. He does wear makeup, usually patterns of eyeliner or face jewels, even though he knows people will rarely see it.

34. What is their body type? How tall are they? Do they like their body?

Tall, lean, and his movements are somewhat catlike. Or rather, foxlike, but that doesn’t evoke quite such clear imagery. He grew up slightly gangly and awkward but soon learnt how to command his body in a fluid and graceful manner. People are often drawn to him, for this.

35. What’s their guilty pleasure? What is their totally unguilty pleasure? 

Renard’s totally unguilty pleasure is anything expensive. He loves spending money, on expensive clothing and jewellery especially, as well as books and naval equipment. He has an intricate compass, a gold-plated pocketwatch and various jewels, not to mention the price of good instruments. His guilty pleasure is probably tacky souvenirs. He will unguiltily buy sophisticated ones, but he can’t resist buying a cheap, objectively awful snow-globe every once in a while.

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Renard’s two primary hobbies are playing music and sailing. Renard plays violin, accordion, piano, harp and melodeon but his favourite is the violin. He loves learning new instruments, and was given a lute by Perro that he vows to learn before too long. 

Sailing, his second hobby, is the one he doesn’t talk about as much. It’s hard to talk about sailing to people who don’t sail, so he finds friends in the yacht club to talk to when he needs to have a discussion about routes and tidal markers. Renard’s boat is called the Sharp Wit and needs three or four crew members to properly sail. This crew is usually patched together from whoever happens to be around and knows at least a little about what they’re doing, and Renard sometimes brings guests along as well. He’ll often trade good from place to place on his travels and brings back products if people ask him to do so, but his primary use of the boat is for leisure travel.

37. Do they like to read? Are they a fast or slow reader? Do they like poetry? Fictional or non fiction?

Renard’s library hosts a mix of fiction and non-fiction, both of which he enjoys. He has a wide range of classic literature, both fae and human, and he enjoys historical fiction and romances in particular. He also has several expensive illustrated fairytale books in his collection which he enjoys.  Where non-fiction is concerned, Renard owns scores of books about art and artists, music and musicians, playwrights and theatre. He owns a vast collection of books on nautical navigation and the history of exploration, and he loves reading accounts of travel. He also owns multiple books on specific crafts that serve almost as intruction manuals to his own creations, and he owns at least two shelves of sheet music and music manuscript.

38. What do they admire in others? What talents do they wish they had?

Renard very much admires those with a natural approachability and charisma. While Renard is incredibly charismatic in some ways, he lacks that look of friendliness and the softness of voice that a lot of the nicest of fae seem to have. People tend to assume that Renard is a smooth-talker, something of a charlatan, and people perceive his accent and idiolect as cavalier and supercilious. He also admires those with a talent for mathematics and sciences, which he never excelled at but always loved in concept.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging? 

Renard spends almost every evening writing letters. To his parents, his cousins, and to Perro if he’s away from home. He’s not involved with technology enough to use either email or messaging, but he’s considering buying an old-style phone one of these days.

40. Do they like energy drinks? Coffee? Sugary food? Or can they naturally stay awake and alert?

Renard has a definite sweet tooth, usually appeased with expensive yet unsatisfying small desserts, and he enjoys hot drinks as well. He doesn’t need them for energy, but he does enjoy the taste and he loves trying different types of tea.

41. What’s their sexuality? What do they find attractive? Physically and mentally? What do they like/need in a relationship?

Now this is the fun question, because Renard doesn’t really like to follow rules in this regard. The best definition of Ren’s sexuality would be pansexual, I think. He also has significant relationships that aren’t sexual or romantic, and that’s something he’s perfectly comfortable with. Renard learnt as he grew up that fae are a varied and diverse group with no real boundaries or binaries, Renard himself doesn’t like set labels if he can avoid them, so he grew up with an open mind and desire to figure things out for himself when it comes to relationships. 

What Renard needs in relationships, most importantly, is a balance between company and space. Renard is often away from home, or moving between his apartment and the manor house, and it’s well known that he likes to have his own spaces at least part of the time. However, he is willing to share these with others if he really likes them. Few people have ever stayed in Renard’s cabin on the Sharp Wit aside from Perro and Renard, for example, and the same applies to Renard’s apartment and workspace. Renard loves being dramatic and affectionate when he can get away with it, but he does need solitude a lot of the time and one thing he values in a relationship is a mutual understanding of each others’ needs for space.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Renard’s main goal in life is to learn as much as he can about as much of the world, both fae world and human world, as possible.

43. Are they religious? What do they think of religion? What do they think of religious people? What do they think of non religious people?

Renard is not religious, but he has a great respect for religion and an interest in philosophy. He does believe in certain superstitions, but in the fae world it’s wise to believe in some of the fantastical warnings you were given as a child. 

44. What is their favourite season? Type of weather? Are they good in the cold or the heat? What weather do they complain in the most? 

Renard loves the heat, and when it’s warm outside he will sit on pavements, walls and balconies to soak in the sun. Perro and Jolie will sometimes mock him for this, as it can become a rather coquettish display of arching his back and smiling at them over his shoulder, elegantly crossing his legs where they fall at the edge of the wall. He will, in the heat, switch his outfits from three-piece suits to flowing cotton shirts or simply waistcoats, when at home trading his heavy mask for a wide-brimmed summer hat. The cold, though it appears to suit Renard just as well to those who don’t know him, puts him in a bristled mood. He’ll complain about the cold, wear his warmest gloves and coat and scarf and hat and then he’ll use the mask to shield his face from the wind. If it’s raining, however, he may well refuse to leave the house at all.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves? 

People tend to view Renard from a distance, and from that perspective he often seems imposing, vain and superior. His smile is sharp-edged and his tongue is acerbic with wit, while his smooth tone of voice leads many to believe he is out to con them. He is a respected musician and, amongst the communities in which he lives, usually a respected citizen. He has a strained relationship with the residents of Saint Félix because many of them don’t think he deserves to hold the Duchy as he wasn’t born there, but many have accepted him regardless as he actually has little power and lets the residents make most of the decisions.

46. Do they make a good first impression? Does their first impression reflect them accurately? How do they introduce themselves?

Usually, he makes a good impression. He’s well-spoken, polite and generally friendly. He introduces himself with his full name but not his title. Aside from the fact that people often assume him to be a conman, he is generally perceived well and at least is known to be polite.

47. How do they act in a formal occasion? What do they think of black tie wear? Do they enjoy fancy parties and love to chit chat or loathe the whole event?

Renard, in formal occasions, tends to take control. It is clear at most formal events that he is the most comfortable person there, having been raised at formals and balls and soirees and promenades. He has no trouble asking people to dance, or opening up polite but distant smalltalk. He loves the chance to dress up, and he loves the chance to make others dress up, especially his friends and partners. 

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend? 

Renard is usually the one organising the parties, actually, as he is the person who owns the deeds to a perfectly-suited manor house. He prefers attending as a guest to being the host, but unless he’s heading to family occasions he rarely has that luxury. What he does like is making the decisions, though. He likes having control over the food and the music and flowers and the bunting. He likes making sure that everyone will have a good time and he loves getting to greet everyone as they walk in. He rarely goes to parties he doesn’t like the sound of, but if it were to happen then he would drag Perro or Jolie along with him for emotional support.

49. What is their most valued object? Are they sentimental? Is there something they have to take everywhere with them?

Renard’s most valued objects are mostly sentimental items. There is a peacock feather from one of his first times travelling, a compass with a beautifully ornate rose that was passed on to him by his grandfather, and a brooch that he was given as gift of love from Perro. While he values his various jewels and many of them do hold sentimental value as well as material, those specific objects are his most precious. 

50. If they could only take one bag of stuff somewhere with them: what would they pack? What do they consider their essentials?

When Renard travels, he tries his best to pack light. He will take comfortable pyjamas, appropriate wear for working the boat and some particular personal mementos. He will always wear the ring that Perro bought for him, a pair of gloves he was given by Jolie, a locket with a family photograph inside. Renard’s intention is almost always to buy everything else he needs once he reaches his destination, buying local products to better immerse himself in new cultures. Jolie argues that it’s just an excuse to spend money and Renard would be defensive if she suggested it to his face, but nonetheless he always returns with heavier bags than he left with.

[joemuggs]

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME

Last week, I was asked by Rory O’Sullivan to contribute to his Raw Edge newsletter - so here’s me talking about myself and my reliably boojy tastes. It’s a really good newsletter, so SUBSCRIBE!

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This week we've been speaking with Music Journalist and Author Joe Muggs. Joe has written for major newspapers, magazines and websites including Mixmag, FACT and Boiler Room and is currently working on a secret book that will be announced soon.

Joe lets us into some of the things that are important to him and gives us a short insight into his life before dishing out his recommendations. Let's dive right in!

Joe, thanks for joining us, what is it you are working on at the moment?

JM: I wish I could plug the book I'm working on currently but it won't be announced for a little while yet, so you'll just have to imagine the brilliance... My other big thing at the moment is tracing the current rise in popularity of ambient music and finding new ways of blending it with spoken word and discussion. I've done a couple of events experimenting with this recently, plus there's the LOVE DRAIN series of mixes I did for NTS Radio last year.

What's your background as a journalist what did you do before that?

I got into professional journalism quite late: in my late 20s, around the turn of the millennium. For most of the 90s, I was knocking about Brighton, doing the things one does in Brighton: DJing, being in bands, running cabaret shows, dancing on the hillsides, getting into trouble.

What is your morning routine like?

Woken by cat at 6, swear at cat, go back to sleep, woken by children at 7, put on Radio 3, faff about with Weetabix and sandwiches for lunchboxes, grimace at the news, hurriedly edit whatever the last thing I was working on the previous day, take one or other child to school/nursery, start work either at home or in local cafe/Wetherspoons.

What's the one thing you can’t leave the house without?

Sennheiser HD-25s

Who do you draw inspiration from?

Mostly from the glorious nonsense and wisdom that comes from music-lovers gathering together in any scenario: when I was in my teens and early 20s it was gibbering in after parties and the backrooms of techno clubs, but I came to realise that there's a grand tradition of subcultural gibberish that constantly refreshes our language. Whether it's The Cocteau Twins or Taliban Trim, The Goon Show or Devo, Young Thug or Krazy Kat, I love language that makes little sense but leaves you reeling.

What got you started out on the path you have taken, and what's the most difficult thing you’ve had to overcome?

I always wrote - was involved in the spoken word scene, wrote for student mags and local entertainment mags etc to get free guestlist and tickets etc – and I was always around the music scene, so after a long while of titting about it ended up being all I was really qualified to do. Even after I decided to make a go of it and started getting work for national publications, there were quite a few years of waiting tables, working in low-level NHS admin etc before writing really became my bread and butter. I really got going, though, after a series of unfortunate incidents involving Will Young forced me to do a bit of soul-searching and decide to focus on the particular kinds of music and culture I was most interested in rather than trying to be a generalist, after which I managed to carve out a niche for myself.

How do you see your profession changing in the next 10 years?

Wouldn't like to say. The decline in ad revenue across all media may continue, and it may just be a steady decline – but there are a few glimmers that make me suspect that people are still hungry for good writing and (that much-abused word) curation, so it may be that people find new ways to make it pay. There'll certainly always be exciting new trends in music to talk about, regardless.

What’s the one piece of advice you could give to someone heading out in your field of work?

You'd better love what you do. The chances of making a living, let alone a good one, out of writing about culture, are slim – and just to add to the frustrations, there'll always be people less talented but more privileged and/or more self-assured than you blithely leapfrogging ahead. But writing, and immersion in the culture you love, has a value all of its own, and if you remind yourself of that again and again, eventually you can persuade other people too.

And here are Joe’s recommendations:

READ

McMafia McMafia by Misha Glenny – I was obsessed with this book by a former BBC journalist about the illegal 20% of the global economy when it came out, and nowadays its narrative of the convergence of governments and gangsterism looks all the more terrifyingly relevant.

Doubt Kind of ironically,  Doubt: A History has become my bible. Ostensibly a history of disbelief and atheism from the beginning of history until now, it's far more: a catalogue of the greatest inquiring and dissenting human minds. Doubt on Amazon

The Outrun Amy Liptrot and I started as professional writers together in the chaotic final days of The Face magazine, and I'm now furiously jealous of her huge talent, how far she's come and the acclaim she's had for the gripping The Outrun – though obviously not so jealous of the hard times and addiction the memoir describes. 

WATCH This Country This Country on BBC3 iPlayer – what People Just Do Nothing / Kurupt FM is to the inner city, this is to the countryside; if you grew up in a rural town like I did you will wince with recognition all the way through, but aside from that it's a brilliantly written and played piece.

The Circus is in Town The definition of cult viewing, Carnivàle is a flawed but deliriously dark and atmospheric occult HBO drama about a travelling circus in the depression-era USA which ran for a season and a half before abrupt cancellation in 2005 forced its rushed conclusion.

Cooking Down Under Masterchef Australia makes the UK version look small and shabby in comparison – the cooking, the Aussie camaraderie, the chefs' “journeys” and “food dreams”, the quality of presenters and guests: everything is super-sized, dramatic and gripping. The new season starts any day now, and I cannot wait.

LISTEN Underground House Talaboman – The Night Land – John Talabot from Barcelona and Axel Boman from Stockholm were already well-loved DJ/producers in underground house, but together they've produced an absolutely beautiful album more for home listening than the club, which I've had on repeat for months now (read my interview with them here)

Joni's Lawns Joni Mitchell – The Seeding of Summer Lawns – I was only ever a casual Joni fan until I discovered these leaked demos of The Hissing of Summer Lawns; suddenly everything fell into place – not just the perfection of her songwriting but her genius as a producer and arranger – and an unquenchable obsession began.

P Money P Money – Live & Direct – unfairly eclipsed by higher-profile releases from fellow grime veteran Skepta and young upstart Stormzy, this from Southeast London stalwart P Money deserves to be heard widely: it's as belligerent and problematic as can be, but also razor sharp and full of hard-won wisdom.

BUY Body Bass SubPac – a bodily bass speaker that you wear or lean on, that combines with headphones to give you the experience of being up close to a soundsystem or orchestra without upsetting the neighbours; incredible for deep ambient voyaging!

Animation Studio from Hue The Hue Animation Studio – a brilliantly simple bit of kit – a webcam on a flexible arm, plus super-intuitive software interface – for making stop-motion animation. Bought it for my son, but he has to fight to stop me monopolising it.

Human after all A FMLY 'HUMAN' sweatshirt – yes I do a lodda great work for charidee mate - stylish AND philanthropic, buying this also gets £10 to the Refugee Council. 

EAT & DRINK Salad - No, really. God this is poncey but I'm obsessed with Ottolenghi salads, like this fennel, pear and pecorino one. I think I could face being vegetarian if all veggie food tasted this good.

Meat! I am very much not a vegetarian though, and I love the short rib at  Zelman Meats in Soho – it specialises in less pricey cuts, but the quality of meat and cooking mean the eating experience rivals places WAY more expensive.

Everyone loves their local I have to shout out to my South London local 161 Food & Drink – whether for coffee and cake or lock-ins until god-knows-what-o-clock with a string quartet, Al is the consummate host and the food, wine and beer are reliably A1 quality. 

LEARN Learn Coding Learn the Essentials of coding with Makeblock robots – so easy to get started with, and massively fun, but quickly draws both kids and adults into really complex programming and logic concepts.

Snow Geysers There has been an amazing discovery of snow geysers and the possibilities of life on Enceladus, Saturn's snowball moon with an internal ocean full of warm currents and organic molecules.

Contribute! How, without having to be a massive hippy, to make small positive contributions to the world, courtesy of the Draw The Line collective of comics writers and artists.

DO Down House Go to Down House – Charles Darwin's house for many years, the downstairs is preserved exactly as it was when he lived and worked there, as are the gardens and the outbuildings where he experimented, and it's kind of magical.

Pink Trombone Drive yourself quietly mad with the (deliberately) unfortunately named Pink Trombone – an online tool that mimics the shape and movements of the human mouth to generate sounds: try and find the Kenneth Williams settings!

Rave in London Go raving at Printworks London – I thought I was way past dancing in giant rave barns, but the extraordinary post-apocalyptic industrial setting of Printworks has changed my mind and then some: extraordinary production values, some of the greatest names in techno, and even daytime opening for those of us too old and tired to stay out all night!

[meadowsland]

TRACES OF SELF-EXILE

BY MIMI ZEIGER

A new biography of James Rose explores his difficult brilliance.

FROM THE AUGUST 2017 ISSUE OF LANDSCAPE ARCHITECTURE MAGAZINE.

“Words! Can we ever untangle them?” reads James Rose’s opening salvo in Pencil Points. Appearing in the definitive journal of modernist design thought, the landscape designer’s 1939 essay rejects preconceived ideas of formal or informal design and makes the case for an organic and materials-based approach—an argument approaching revelation at a time when Beaux-Arts methodologies held sway.

Reading the text today, Rose’s words cut through the decades, carrying with them equal doses of wit, creativity, and frustration with the status quo. An uncompromising designer from his time in and out of Harvard (he was expelled in 1937, later returned but never graduated) to his death in 1991, Rose is the subject of the latest volume of the Masters of Modern Landscape Design series published in association with the Library of American Landscape History and the University of Georgia Press. It’s the first biography dedicated to the landscape architect, who although a prolific writer throughout his career and author of four of his own books, has yet to receive the kind of canonical recognition bestowed on his Harvard classmates Garrett Eckbo and Dan Kiley.

As director of the James Rose Center for Landscape Architectural Research and Design—a nonprofit located at Rose’s Ridgewood, New Jersey, home—the book’s author, Dean Cardasis, FASLA, is well-placed to untangle the competing forces of Rose’s career. Few of Rose’s works survive in their original form, and a spare eight are presented as illustrated case studies—a fraction of the more than 80 projects produced in his lifetime. Much of the book is devoted to advocating for Rose’s achievements while trying to account for the designer’s disillusionment with the culture of postwar landscape architecture and his eventual self-imposed exile to suburban New Jersey. Although these two threads are not in opposition, they do place a strain on the narrative, suggesting a portrait of a man whose increasing radicalism over the course of decades—from modernism to ad hoc material sensibilities to environmentalism—contributed to his own isolation. “He was a rebel’s rebel from the start, an incisive critic destined to follow his own path,” Cardasis says.

Early in the prologue for the book, Cardasis describes his first encounter with a 76-year-old Rose (just a couple years before his death). The passage is clearly loving, but also disconcerting. A disheveled and mismatched Rose steps out of a “rusty, egg-yolk-colored 1970s VW van,” and Cardasis writes: “An incredibly long, almost wizard-like straw hat grazed his shoulders and shaded his face. As he looked up I could see he was wearing glasses, but one frame was empty, and the remaining one held a tinted sunglass lens. In that instant I had my first silent lesson from the iconoclastic modern landscape architect James Rose: ‘Have no preconceptions.’”

A view nearly without boundaries from inside to out at Rose’s house in Ridgewood, New Jersey. From Progressive Architecture (1954).

It’s from this point that a revolutionary must be nudged into the historical fold. The task isn’t easy, though it is most successful early in Rose’s biography. Cardasis, unpacking Rose’s interest in modernism, finds parallels in the spare poetry of William Carlos Williams and the easy spatial flow of Rudolph Schindler’s Kings Road house, which serves as a precedent for Rose’s home in Ridgewood. In both projects, the use of outdoor rooms and landscape features illustrates Rose’s maxim that “landscape design falls somewhere between architecture and sculpture.”

Indeed, Rose’s own writings referenced modern artists such as Pablo Picasso and the Russian constructivist Naum Gabo. Rose even wrote that a Georges Braque still life and Kurt Schwitters’s Rubbish Construction are “interesting suggestions for gardens.” The book describes that fascination with collage and assemblage, tracking it through Rose’s work, where it appears initially in the model Rose made of his future home while in the navy, the materials scavenged from around his military station, or in the scrap metal fountains he improvised in the 1960s and 1970s. The author continues this line of argument to suggest Rose’s use of recycled railroad ties and asphalt—used for the steps and terraces of the Averett Garden and House in Columbus, Georgia (1959)—as an example of Rose’s affinity for “found objects.”

But later, as modernism gave way to countercultural influences, it is harder to pin Rose down. Cardasis chronicles the designer’s withdrawal from mainstream landscape architecture and, more generally, American culture, citing a growing aversion to the impact of postwar suburban development on the existing landscape as the cause. He quotes from Rose’s 1958 book Creative Gardens as evidence: “The recipe is simple: first, spoil the land by slicing it in particles that will bring the most dollars, add any house that has sufficient selling gimmicks to each slice, and garnish with ‘landscaping.’”

Perhaps as a respite, Rose began traveling regularly to Japan and eventually began practicing Zen Buddhism. “He went to Japan in 1960, and that started a love affair with the country that went on for his whole life,” Cardasis told me by phone. “Rose found inspiration in the Eastern tradition, especially in the attitudes to the natural world.”

Rose and a carpenter confer during roof garden construction in 1970. Courtesy James Rose Center.

Given Rose’s then-radical understanding of landscape architecture as an integration of spatial and natural conditions, the banal blanketing of suburban conventions across the United States would surely account for his retreat; however, Rose was not alone in his critique. Other writers, designers, and artists of the period shared his early environmentalist stirrings, so it is strange to find few references, especially given the wealth of parallels drawn in support of Rose’s embrace of modernism. The book makes brief and tantalizing allusion to significant countercultural figures: Timothy Leary (Rose apparently dropped LSD with him but “wondered what the fuss was all about”) and Alan Watts (Rose studied with him but then renounced Watts’s teachings). It would seem that his cantankerous personality instigated isolation as much as his ideology.

The biography doesn’t hide that Rose was gay, though the narrative doesn’t put emphasis on the designer’s sexuality as an overt source of his outsiderness. “As you know, Rose lived in a time when being gay was extremely difficult, and I can only imagine how that influenced his life and work,” Cardasis said in an e-mail. “Because of this and in deference to his expressed wishes not to belabor the fact, I did not explore the issue further than a simple reference to his sexuality in the book. More (or less), I thought, would be inappropriate.” The result of this tact, however, is that the biography seems a bit closeted—the queerness in Rose’s methods left for others to explore at a later time.

Despite his iconoclasm, there were moments that suggest possible connections between Rose and other practitioners. For the 1960 issue of Progressive Architecture, the editors asked Rose, Lawrence Halprin, and Karl Linn—the environmentalist, activist, and pioneer of urban gardening—to review each other’s work. Rose’s Macht Garden and House in Baltimore from 1956 was subject to strong critique by the others for its expressiveness, particularly what was termed the “incessant” angled terraces. While Cardasis characterizes the grouping of designers as something the magazine “cooked up,” as if it were a bit of a stunt, there was clearly editorial intent here to make alignments between three landscape architects operating outside the conventional mien, with anticipatory ties to social and ecological movements. As Rose’s work reenters the canon, more research is needed to better situate it historically.

Eleanore Pettersen, the architect for the Paley house, brought Rose on to design the garden. The site was a rocky, sloping woodland. Drawn by R. Hruby (1994); Courtesy James Rose Center.

Did Rose deliberately push away his contemporaries and potential allies? It’s likely. He was never shy about getting into arguments with clients, but he also had his defenders. In the 1970s and 1980s, he collaborated with the architect Eleanore Pettersen on some 30 projects. In addition to sharing his design sensibilities in terms of fluid relationships between inside and outside, she often acted as Rose’s advocate, especially when he put off clients and building officials. There seems to be more to explore here between the iconoclastic designer and his champion. Pettersen apprenticed with Frank Lloyd Wright and was the first woman architect to start her own practice in New Jersey in the early 1950s. One can’t help but wonder why someone who probably had to fight against social norms throughout her career would willingly stand up for the volatile Rose. The answer in the biography points again to Rose’s possessing an irascible genius, the nature of which compelled others to be forbearing. This was a period of his practice when he would meditate in the morning and then go build improvisationally on site without drawings. Pettersen, interviewed in 1992, is quoted in the biography simply telling clients: “It will be worth it.”

Justification for that value is elusive and impressionistic. Because of that lack of documentation, the James Rose foundation has a limited record of projects to refer to for backup. Although he published regularly early in his career, writing essays and three books from the 1930s through the 1960s, Rose’s pace slowed afterward, and he published his last book, The Heavenly Environment: A Landscape Drama in Three Acts with a Backstage Interlude, in 1987. Ultimately, it is Rose’s own home, now the James Rose Center for Landscape Architectural Research and Design, that serves as an interpretative text for understanding the work: handmade, iterative, and as quixotic as its author, with courtyards, roof gardens, and a Zendo, each in various states of repair.

The biography puts forth a belief that understanding Rose’s later oeuvre comes mostly through understanding his singular methodology. Words are left behind to untangle. “You can feel it when you go to the site,” Cardasis says. “As you move through, the garden seems as if it could go on forever. There was no plan as an approach; he just moved through, adjusting things to make people aware of their connectedness to things larger than themselves.”

Mimi Zeiger is a critic and curator based in Los Angeles.

from Landscape Architecture Magazine https://landscapearchitecturemagazine.org/2017/08/03/traces-of-self-exile/