#and there comes a point you can't get drunk - just go straight to alcohol poisoning

[starburstgalexies]

I love drunkard Venti memes as much as the next person but sometimes it becomes obvious that people forget the most crucial part of it:

Venti can't get drunk.

According to what Diluc says during Jean's party, he was still the same after 32 bottles of wine.

He loves (nonred) wine but if he looks drunk he must be acting.

[skribbyposts]

stupid silly zosan (again)

Continuation of my tipsy Sanji post i made a couple of days ago!! you don't need to read that first if you didnt already but I am slowly nudging you.... to my page.... sumbliminally.... (go read it)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zoro is at his wit's end.

It's been close to half an hour, and he's wandering in the dark alleyways of this random ass town trying to get back to the ship. In addition to that, He's carrying a very drunk and very annoying Sanji on his back.

"Marimooo," he drawls, swaying to the side. "Where the fuck are we?"

"Stop fucking moving or I'm gonna drop you, cook."

The position they're in is precarious as it is, Sanji's legs wrapped around Zoro's waist the only thing really keeping them both upright.

The cook's hands come from where they're draped over Zoro's shoulders to poke at his face. "You don't even know where we're going, do you?`"

"Like you know either," Zoro grumbles.

"Yeah, but you're mostly sober," the cook slurs.

...Fair enough.

Sanji yawns, the action driving his chin harder into the top of Zoro's head. "You're talking too long, hurry up so we can get to the Sunny."

"Maybe if you stopped fidgeting, I could actually walk straight and we would get there faster." Zoro grunts, hoisting the lanky man higher up on his waist.

"Fuck you, I'll walk myself back to the ship then." Zoro thinks Sanji attempts to get off his back, but the cook slumps back down almost immediately after raising only his head. "No, no no. that's not happening. Christ, how much did I drink? Marimo, I'm gonna die from alcohol poisoning-"

Zoro lets Sanji lament about his booze-tinted doom, mainly because he's still trying to figure out where the fuck they are but also because the blond idiot does this every time they go out drinking. He gets piss drunk off of what, two shots? and Zoro has to haul his uncoordinated, mouthy ass all the way back to the Sunny. Bonus points if he stops to spew his guts in an alleyway. Sanji stops talking after a few minutes, but the silence doesn't last for long.

"Did I tell you. We're going... uh... grocery shoppi-"

"Yes. Yes, you did, Curly. Six goddamn times."

"Okay, don't be a dick about it!" He feels the cook's spindly fingers sluggishly tug at his hair, pulling his head sideways and making them more unsteady than they already are.

"Stop. Moving," Zoro hisses as he stumbles. "You're fucking heavy."

Sanji giggles from behind him, and Zoro can feel the vibrations across his back as the blond speaks. "Oh, 'm sorry, you directionally challenged wad of grass. Maybe if you went the right way you wouldn't have to carry me any longer." "Shut up! It's too dark, everything looks the same."

"No, you're just fuckin'... what's the word? oh, incompetent. I bet you don't even know what incompetent means."

"I know what incompetent means."

"God, I'm so dizzy," Sanji groans.

"Stop complaining!"

They bicker back and forth, Sanji spewing insults in his ear while Zoro barks at him to shut up and wonders how many times they've passed that street lamp on the corner. Sometime during that, Sanji's head makes it into the crook of the other man's neck, and every time the cook speaks his lips brush over Zoro's shoulder. His hands have also taken up permanent residence in Zoro's hair, combing through the short strands as he complains endlessly. Zoro can't say he minds.

"Ah, we're lost," Sanji whines in his ear. "Completely, irre....irrevocably lost. Marimo, the ship was ten minutes from the barrrr."

"We're almost there, you impatient prick." They are not, in fact, almost there. Zoro trudges past what he feels like is the same house he saw fifteen minutes ago.

"Good... because m'gonna pass out."

"What?" The cook doesn't speak, and his fingers go slack on top of Zoro's head. "No, cook - damn it, wake up." Nothing but Sanji's soft breaths sound as a response.

Zoro looks around, surrounded by rows of dark houses and no boat in sight.

He heaves a long-suffering sigh. "God fucking dammit."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zoro struggles for another 30 minutes trying to find the ship with Sanji as a dead weight the entire time. he hated it (not really).

Sanji, for the 27th time: we're going grocery shopping tomorrow Zoro, tired of his bullshit: I KNOW.

ugh theyre such dumb homosexuals making bad life choices. i want to make them kiss.

Every day at 3am I rise from my coffin to write zosan content. they make me sick <3333

[wednesday-fanatic]

Your Late. (Marcus Lopez Arguello X Fem!Kuroki!OC) Deadly Class.

Note: I have never written from the man's point of view. And the song is just random, it has no significance to the story. Also the OC cannot get drunk, no matter how much she drinks. Saya is definitely out of character

Warnings: Swearing, making out, mentions of alcohol, hair pulling, and mentions of smoking. Suggestive content. Let me know if I missed anything.

Marcus' P.O.V:

I was walking back to the room I shared with Saya's sister Athena. I had just finished talking and smoking with Billy when I realized I was late for meeting up with Athena. By the time I reached our room it was already 10pm and I was supposed to meet her an hour ago. I unlocked the door and walked in, shutting the door behind me. I locked the door back and placed my bag on my desk chair.

"Hey babe." I said walking over to Athena's bed, seeing her sitting up against the headboard reading a book on poison, I also noticed she was still in her uniform.

"Your late." She said simply, not looking up from her book.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I was smoking with Billy at the graveyard and lost track of time." I said, it was then I noticed the two empty bottles of whiskey beside Athena.

"Ok. I forgive you but, you have to make up for being late." She said, putting her book down.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You have to make up for being late." She said, getting up off the bed so she was standing infront of me.

"What do I have to do to make it up to you?" I asked.

"You have to-" She started, but was cutoff by a knock at the door.

"Go the fuck away!!" Athena yelled, startling me.

"No!!" Shouted Saya's voice from outside the door.

"Fine. Come in." Said Athena.

Saya walked in and went straight to Athena's bed.

"What are these?" She asked, holding up the two bottles of whiskey Athena had drank.

"Empty whiskey bottles?" Asked Athena.

"I know that, but did you drink two whole bottles of whiskey by yourself?" Asked Saya.

"Yeah. Remember I can't get drunk." Said Athena, sitting down next to Saya.

"Yeah, I remember." Said Saya.

"Why did you come in here?" Asked Athena.

"Just to irritate you." Saya said simply.

"Well I'm irritated. Leave." Said Athena, grabbing Saya's arm and pushing her out the door.

Athena shut the door behind Saya and locked it. As she turned around to look me in the eyes she said, "Now what was I saying?"

"Ah yes, I was about to tell you what you had to do to make up for being late." Athena said, clapping her hands together.

"What do I have to do?" I asked her.

"Sit." She ordered, pointing to the bed.

"Ok." I said and sat on the edge.

"So, to make it up to me, you have to do everything I say for the next 3 hours." She said, sitting herself on my lap.

"Ok." I said.

"Ok." She said, repeating what I said.

"What do I ha-" I started to say but was cutoff by Athena kissing me.

I kissed back and I wrapped my arms around her waist, as she wrapped her arms around my neck, lacing her fingers in my hair. I felt her tongue slip into my mouth, I let her explore my mouth with her tongue before I pulled away for air, a string of saliva connecting our mouths.

As soon as I pulled away Athena followed my mouth and put her lips back on mine. We kissed for what felt like forever but was probably 3 minutes. She pulled away and we where both breathing heavily. Athena leaned forward and slide off my uniform jacket,after that was off She undone my tie throwing it somewhere, and the last thing she done was unbutton and pull of my shirt. As soon as she was done I started on her uniform, doing the same to her that she did to me.

After both of our tops where off she leaned forward wearing only a black lace bra and started sucking on my neck. She soon found my sweet spot and sucked on it harshly, causing me to let out a moan. She pushed me back on the bed and started kissing me again.

A/n: Let me know if you want a part two with smut. Or more fluff-ish stuff, or even angst. Or just suggestive. Hope you enjoyed.

[schifty-al]

Long ago in a not so distant land, my best friend, John B., and I were hooking up with a couple of girls for a couple days. One of the nights John B. and I wanna go drinking, but the girls say "we don't really feel like it, but we'll hangout here and if you don't get too drunk to come back we'll make sure to get you to bed. with a side helping of 'what not'" So we're like, "awesome, don't worry we won't get that bad"

So cutting down the story to get to my point, we came back after racking up a bar tab that would make rich people concerned. I was pretty much blacked out for a lot of it, but between my marine mentality and what I pieced together from John B. I was able to get the story straight... ish.

Me and John B. came bursting in loud as a rock party, and drunker than most of you could imagine. I can't remember what we talked about, but I can guess it was one of our super heavy deeper than the sea conversations that involve everything you shouldn't talk about to maintain any conceivable relationship. At one point John B. passes out on his feet next to a bed. So being piss drunk and a "big mighty man of a marine" that I was at the time, I decided to "motivate" my friend to get up and into bed. My reasoning at the time was pretty simple,"if I yell at him enough he'll get into bed, and I'll look more badass to the girls than if I bust my ass trying to pick him up"

I'm not gonna repeat what I said at the time because it might bother many of you to try to imagine what I forced my friend to wake up and listen to. Also I don't want to add any trigger warnings in the tags so just know it was not pleasant imagery that I was waking him up with. John B. was able to lift his head a couple of times and mumble, "No, I don't murcigvajkgt" after a about ten minutes of this the Stronger of the two girls offers to help me pick him up. I look at him, he's looking at fibers in the carpet, the girl with the same weight as me is looking at me than him, the other girl is looking in from the side of the doorway like I can't notice her staring holes into my back. And I finally admit, "yeah tha' sound PH beg kuxfh" so I grab his legs, she grabs his arms and we swing him into bed.

At this point I realize that the room wasn't spinning cause I was swinging John B. it was spinning cause I'm beyond fucked with alcohol poisoning. So, recognizing the symptoms for drowning in one's own vomit, I decide I would be communing with the porcelain gods tonight, and stumbled into the bathroom for the night.

The next morning I woke up still drunk, a bloody towel between me and a dirty toilet, and hearing the voices of the girls with concerned voices and John B.'s voice struggling not to sound concerned. I stood up, put the towel under a cold tap, and went to investigate. John B. couldn't remember anything after the second set of syringe shots last night, and when he asked the girls what happened they told him, "you and your friend's demons came out" he sees me and says "yeah we need to go home, but Stacy(I'm pretty sure it started with an s I don't really remember) go ahead and text me later today" so he forces me to pack up my shit in 5 minutes and we start the 2 hour drive home.

On the way home he asks me, "Hey [Schifty] did my demons come out last night?" I proceeded to remember the majority of 6 hours of partying and 45 minutes of going to sleep, and eventually responded, "Nah, you didn't get violent or yell anything. I did some yelling, but nothing serious."

"Oh good, I was worried I tried to kill someone again."

And that comment alone (with abridged context) is when I realized you can NEVER drown your demons.