#and there are so many ppl like me and all we want to do is write and just!!!!

[roots-symphony]

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don’t really buy into the whole fuckboy agatha/turbo virgin Rio narrative. Like it’s fun to play around with, but I don’t think it’s as canon as some I’ve seen some ppl say. I think it’s just one of like many possible interpretations of what their dynamic could have been, and tbh I think we’re all sleeping on the funniest one. Let me explain:

Agatha fucks now, that’s super obvious but there’s also been like how many centuries between now and when she was younger/met Rio? Agatha grew up during a very puritanical time, in an isolated coven, with an abusive mother, could she have been sneaking and getting action/figuring herself out on the side? Definitely. But I feel like she would’ve been more focused on trying to sneak around and learn magic and (depending on just /how/ isolated the coven was, which the ones we saw her and Nicky go through ranged from super small family to a small-medium community) might have not been either a lot of options and/or the options there were would have been like difficult to do anything about. We don’t know when she meets Rio, but presumably not /too/ long after her attempted execution just based on when Nicky was born, so she definitely in this time could have come to an understanding of herself and her body, especially in regards to how she could use her ~feminine wiles~ to get by with her entire support system gone. But I feel like another way to look at it, is that while she may not have been able to experiment as a teenager, she definitely could have run into some inappropriate books while reading the magic books she also wasn’t allowed to read. That plus just probably the whole way sex and everything was viewed during that time, I feel like she could easily come up with some weird ideas about what sex even is.

And Rio has been around for like ever. Do you know how many humans probably died doing weird sex things?? Rio knows what sex is, but her view of it is probably super skewed. (Also, we don’t see Rio from a point before Agatha which is unfortunate because all her focus after agatha is like… /on/ agatha so we have no way of knowing if she had any curiosity regarding humanity or any of the things she saw. She definitely could have experimented in her long existence, we just don’t know. Which doesn’t really matter to this, I just want to point out that even that is up to interpretation and is based in canon literally just as much as virgin Rio [which is to say not at all])

Anyway I think we’re all missing the funniest way to read this, which is /both/ Agatha and Rio having wildly different and also just wrong ideas about what sex is/how it works, and just trying to figure it out together like the blind leading the blind with all their directions based around colors. Bonus in that Rio could probably say some buckwild shit and Agatha ‘fake it till you make it’ Harkness would probably be like ‘well yes, obviously that’s how you do it’

[saintfelina]

the ultra-feminine pretty girl category of perfume. historically, these have been just as common as animalics. in a way theyre equal opposites with how they've represented femininity in fragrance throughout history.

despite its modern reputation, florals do not have to be boring or overtly mature. the reason we associate certain florals like rose with 'old ladies' is because those were the scents they wore as young women. in 30-40 years there's no doubt that perfumes like burberry her, crystal noir, and delina (perfumes we consider fresh and modern) to be 'old lady' scents as well because trends will change and what was once new will become old!

that said, there's a variety of florals to chose from: yellow florals like lancome poem (sweet, slightly nectar-like, a hint of pollen), white florals like le labo lys 41 (heady, slightly indolic if there's jasmine, sensual) and dewier, fresh florals like anna sui l'amour rose edt (crisp, clean, watery) but here's a collection of florals across many different categories that will make you feel light and feminine.

chanel chance eau tendre is a wonderful floral that balances sweetness with a little freshness and a gentle musky dry down. it's very deliate, and doesn't have that round sweetness lots of perfumes these days have. it's great for every day and its very delicate so it's an easy entryway to avoid headaches.

anais anais l'original is a powdery white floral. its reminiscent of applying a gentle powder after a bath. despite being a white floral it's relatively fluffy and avoids being too heady as it has an innocence to it. it's vintage in a way, not because it smells dated, but because of delicate its composed.

miss dior roses n roses is a great entryway to rose. it's clean, feminine and has a muskiness to it that prevents the rose from being too sharp. it's got a bit of a makeupy smell thats very nostalgic and some ppl get a brighter, zingier rose from the citrus but it all depends on what you pick up.

ex nihilo fleur narcotique is a bit of an outlier from the rest as this is a more sensual, erotic and well...narcotic floral than the rest. there's a lush juiciness to the scent and it feels more aligned with being a hot and sexy 20-30 something than the more girlish florals above. smells like a vacation beach party where you drink too much rosé.

anna sui l'amour rose edt is one of my favorites for is crisp almost waterlike rose scent. which is funny because there's no rose notes present! which leads me to believe this is rose as in pink. and it doe's smell pink, it's a whisper of a dewy floral that layers well with kitten fur by demeter and is light and comforting enough to wear to sleep.

delina la rosee. my preferred of the delina line, its fresher than the original and the exclusif as the lychee note isn't as hars hand screechy. its very romantic, it reminds me a lot of charlotte york from satc. an absolute mod booster that can be worn at any time when you want to feel pretty.

dolce & gabbana dolce is pretty and sweet. the florals dry down to a musky skin-like scent. it reminds some of fresh laundry, like a floral detergent or fabric softener but that isn't necessarily negative. in a ay its comforting.

burberry brit sheer is a clean, soapy kind of fresh floral. the citrus gives it a bright and effervescent opening that's great for every day. it lives up to its name with its sheer musky drydown.

gardenia petale is unique in is creaminess. it's cool with that white floral zing with a refreshing greenness to it that's kind of wet and dewy. over time it settles to something more powdery

[kangals]

Btw I was too shy to share it on the post but my petty dog take for you: I have this … like… I don’t know how to describe it except ojou-sama-type disdain for dogs that are too jumpy and excitable and unreserved. Or even just too determined? Like there are some dogs that just try over and over to get into my fanny pack at the dog park (smells like treats) and I’m internally going Ohohoho. You’re embarrassing yourself… tch… have some self respect… another way of putting this is that I need a dog that knocks it off. I love a dog that’s a fucking quitter. 👍 anyway I only really hear people who don’t like dogs at all espousing this take and IDK MAN IM JUST A PETTY ASSHOLE ABOUT DOGS’ PERSONALITIES SOMETIMES. WHICH DEFINITELY MAKES ME THE WEIRD ONE JFJDN but then I was thinking about it during vacation and my not-dog-owning friends were all like “wow Audrey is so demanding she just stares at you *all the time*, what does she even want” BUT THAT IS IMPISH AND DELIGHTFUL AND HER DESIRES ARE POLITE EVEN WHEN THEY AREN’T. TO ME. It’s just funny how idiosyncratic we all are about dog traits

holy shit yes I’m dying at “I love a dog who’s a fucking quitter” THATS IT EXACTLYYYY. I need a dog who knows how to take an L. I have so many ‘working dog’ friends who just want dogs that you have to beat back with a fucking stick to get them to stop doing something which is THE WORST PERSONALITY trait to me… like omg I just cannot deal with it. That’s even a big reason why I like collies as opposed to other herding breeds, they’re so much more chill. I just cannot do “intense” dogs it makes me instantly miserable. Same with body awareness, I don’t want my dog to be a fucking bowling ball that’s going to take out my knees, bitch step aside!! Sort yourself out!!

tbh Kep is like… the absolute maximum of how much ‘persistent idiot’ personality im willing to tolerate. And I’m sure to like literally any dog trainer he is nowhere CLOSE to being bad, I just have such a microscopically thin tolerance line for it. but also the ‘dogs staring at you’ thing doesn’t bother me bc I’m great at ignoring that, and I know lots of ppl who hate that. sucks for you but I’m different. Etc.

anyway this is one of the greatest takes I’ve ever read. Agree 1000%. you 🤝 me.

[le-trash-prince]

Sorry for jumping in on a conversation, but I agree with so much of this I don't even know where to start.

when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards? I've been thinking a lot about this lately bc ppl will complain about a show that is all fanservice and no plot but then the same ppl will turn around and call it homophobic when a show decides to skimp on fanservice in favor of plot, and while I know that there is a middle ground, I don't think every show needs to hit that middle ground in order to have value.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

^ this hits SUCH a chord with me bc ppl will performatively make fun of puritans to signal that they're part of the In Crowd, but turn around and tear down a show for not aligning with their sense of ethics bc a character was/wasn't "punished by the narrative." I've even seen ppl say that queer POC writers have no business writing certain topics until their viewpoint aligns with whatever that OP thinks is correct. Ppl don't even get how puritan they're being and it's so frustrating

it becomes a game of liking the right show at the right time to get that sense of belonging. And some people can feel isolated again for not liking the show that everyone seems to love right now, so they want to at least find community in sharing their criticism.

^ this. especially with how quickly ppl move from fandom to fandom (hard to blame them when there's 543231 BL shows coming out a year), ppl fall back on criticism bc it's guaranteed to draw a strong reaction. But I think it's a rather shallow sense of community compared to the kind built around creativity. I've been into BL for over 20 years now, and I have friendships lasting just as long that were built around creativity.

Fandom used to have an attitude that the thing to do is create things if you weren't happy with the canon media, but these days that attitude is drastically different.

I've definitely seen ppl in BL tumblr deriding the fanfic mindset, as if fandom wasn't built on the backs of fanfic and doujinshi. People will act as if it’s intellectually inferior to want to engage with a show on a creative level rather than demanding that it change itself to our whims. They say that if a show is good enough, no one would need to add anything to it. Which I agree, is a deeply consumerist mindset. Even if creatives may be perfectionists, the act of creation isn’t about seeking perfection. Transformative fanworks are about collaborative artz

Many of the biggest voices in QL fandom don't make any type of fanwork, and I would argue are not part of larger transformative fandom as it exists on the verge of 2025

Plain and simple agree 🙌 It’s really easy to tell when someone lacks a practical understanding of the creative process, and I know it’s something a lot of creatives in BL/GL tumblr have frustrations with. It becomes difficult to take someone’s opinions seriously when they demonstrate ignorance of storytelling while trying to prop their opinions up by using as many words as possible.

One of the reasons I think sense-of-belonging is part of the problem, is that one constant I see in criticisms is to distance a piece of media from 'being actually queer'. For every single queer fandom I ever dipped my toe in, I have seen the 'this is for straight girls' accusation.

^ THIS TOO (i meant it when I said I agreed with too much). It’s especially frustrating when I see self-proclaimed straight allies trying to make claims over what is or isn’t queer enough… Please stop talking over us thanks. I also don’t think it’s the end of the world if a straight person enjoys a BL. I want to be able to enjoy queerness in many forms, I want to be able to share the things I love with my family, and I also know that BL helped me process my own queerness when I thought I was straight, and putting queer media in front of “straight” people can help them on their journey. I think the BL industry is certainly large enough today that it doesn’t need to be shoved into a box of “if this doesn’t upset straight ppl then it’s not queer enough.”

In terms of fandom engagement, for the time being I just try to tailor my expectations about the size of a fandom and acknowledge that the transformative side of the fandom is in the minority and number of viewers in the tag ≠ size of the fandom. Otherwise it can feel really gutting when it looks like there’s a large audience but silent audience. Still, even if we’re only reaching a small number of people, we can always try to encourage other creators and stir up conversations that generate transformative activity. In the end, the critics will leave a fandom as soon as a show is over, and when they’re gone, the ones left will be the ones who want to make something.

(I also think antis have played a large part in dismantling transformative fandom bc ppl have personally told me how nervous they get about posting or engaging with anything that could be interpreted as problematic, and rampant criticism of a show may similarly play a part in people not feeling comfortable creating for a fandom)

a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?

there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!

so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?

at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.

so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?

(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[faaun]

last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.

[ook-spam]

As someone who's lived in both countries as well as the USA I'd say that they're all equally racist but that their culture influences how that racism presents so you have to be mentally, and in worse cases--physically, prepared to deal w the different types. I'm non Black POC so I won't claim to know that exact experience, but since my siblings are White passing I do have some very direct experience with the contrast.

In the USA there's a large Black population and a set of common social understandings because of that. The acceptable ways to treat Black people have evolved a lot over the years, but in my understanding the difference in current attitudes has a lot to do with population numbers. It's not as socially acceptable to say and do some of the things a Japanese or Korean racist might do but the ways it does manifest are very.. American? I feel like I'm explaining this badly. Maybe the contrasting examples will help

In Korea and Japan racists are going to be more direct with comments, staring, etc but unless it's a particularly aggressive individual then most behavior will come from people having very little exposure to blackness and making the kind of ignorant assumptions that someone who's only seen black people on TV might make, which will feel weird to an American and is up to each individual to decide if they want to deal w or not. Most people often won't know enough about Black people or their history to make like, layered backhanded comments steeped in meaning, they'll just say some up front out of pocket shit that'll sound crazy if you're used to the comparative subtly of the West. This ramps up the further you get from big cities with significant foreign populations like Seoul or Tokyo. Especially in Japan. I had multiple ppl tell me directly that I was the first foreigner they'd ever seen in real life, and we were in a city of 100,000+. Mind you this was in 2018, but there's genuinely still that level of ignorance sometimes so it can be tough.

As for general cultural attitude, there is a crazy blatant idealization of not specifically Whiteness (or at least, it's not JUST an idealization of Whiteness since it's heavily mixed with ideas that were there long before colonization) but more of paleness, thinness and perfection that can be a lot to contend with. I'm only a few shades darker than the average east Asian, but for many East Asians they can become much paler if they avoid sun, use creams etc, so there's this idea that darkness is "fixable" if you just "put in the work" which really affected me as a kid since my lightest light was still darker than some people's deepest tan. I think it's in part because of this that White people get treated the way they do. I grew up with my siblings getting affection, praise and job offers for their Whiteness while I was treated like a normal kid so it's definitely it's own beast. I've seen a lot more open hostility from Korean and Japanese people towards like, Thai and Indonesians bc there's a much longer history of conflict and discrimination there, so I think it's just different

Idk. In the end every place has its ups and downs, so you have to decide on your own what's worth dealing with or not to you, but I would definitely encourage people to take the leap anyways if those trips are something you want and think you'd have fun on!! There's so much to gain from experiencing other cultures, even if each one comes with its own nastiness

Do you have any thoughts on visiting Japan or Korea as a POC? Should I be wary of the reports of how they treat darker skinned people?

Well first, they are also people of color, whether they act like it or not 😬

I mean 😅 I've accepted that going anywhere other than Africa will get me treated like I'm.. well, Black. I want to visit South Korea, and I've been told that the experience is really cool but just to expect that there will be places that both don't accept tourists (valid) and specifically Black people (invalid). And that people will likely stare at you. But again, that happens here too so 🤷🏾‍♀️

I mean, I wouldn't let antiblackness stop me from traveling the world, so you could go as a person of color! You should always be aware of the racial climate of the place you're entering, and move accordingly. But just because you look different doesn't mean you have to let people touch or ogle you or act like you're not human.

[winteriron-trash]

rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo

This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.

I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.

This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.

I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.

[welcometogrouchland]

Noticing that TV and film will often have a character either have had an abortion in the past that isn't showcased on screen (and just used as part of the character's ~fucked up and twisted backstory~) OR contemplate getting an abortion in the present day but not to through with it. Just once I want to see someone delete that fetus within the events of the plot and not be like. Extremely majorly punished for it and/or be in the wrong

[puppppppppy]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

[jamiethebee]

You know what irks me the most about the mha ending. (Sorry I'm still on it.)

Like the early parts of the manga, there were so many grown up hero AUs in fandom (like storylines that took place when they're adults and heroes) and they're fun! A little silly!

And then we had the war arc and cities are being destroyed and everything's torn up and for over a hundred chapters, it's been oh huh I guess every AU like that will just be canon divergence lmao

And then Horikoshi basically wipes the slate clean so I guess all those AUs could technically canon compliant. There's not even much in the way of lasting physical damage! Because it's dealt with???? Immediately???? Within months?????

Which is fine! Nothing wrong with it! The AUs are fun! But, it just irks me that you could throw out half the manga because it didn't matter. Nothing majorly changed. Silly adult hero AUs for everyone I guess because the League may as well have been 2 bit villains for all the effect they had at large was. Idk. Maybe I'm bitter? Maybe my brain still trying to process the ending and the change in how AUs relate to canon? I guess - what was all the constant sprinkling in of "society has let people down" that we see from chapter 1? It meant nothing? I guess????? I mean A WAR HAPPENED. But whatever I guess heehee wasn't that soooooo silly???? That people's take on early story can be the same as post story?????

[rapidhighway]

gonna vent for a sec but im so tired of this "don't wanna be an inconvenience", people pleasing shit ngl.....do people who do this know that they just come off as really rude and like... it just feels insulting each time

[the-somwthing]

Welcome to my little meta analysis essay called

Why do we misremember Flower Husbands as being “nicer” than it was?

Disclaimer: I’m not here to talk about whether or not FH is “toxic” or anything like that. It’s just a fact that many old fans rewatching FH POV and new fans who are watching it for the first time after seeing fan content tend to be surprised at how they actually behaved in the series compared to how everyone remembered them being back in the day. This will NOT go over whether or not I think FH is unhealthy or whatever and instead just discuss why I believe this phenomenon has happened.

So, if I try to make this a fancy well written essay, I’ll be here all day, so I’ll just get to the point. 3rd Life came out during the DSMP era of mcyt. MCRP has been around for ages, but the DSMP style of RP (which I’ll be calling “smp rp”) was pretty much popularized by DSMP, mostly towards the end of 2020. For reference, 3rd Life started early 2021, so there’s about a half a year between these two events, and DSMP kept going for years so 3rd Life was absolutely happening during the golden era of DSMP.

But what does DSMP have to do with this? Well, it sort of created this idea of “lore” and only specific things being “canon”. You can make fun of me for the way I worded that, but you know what I mean, DSMP was weird about that stuff. I don’t really blame them as it was kind of a new style of RP they accidentally spawned, but still, it was a confusing time for SMPs.

3rd Life was actually less like DSMP and more like the modern SMP RPs, where there’s no (known, lol) scripted events and the fandom itself deciphers what is or isn’t “canon” rather than it being told to them, with mostly everything being considered canon. HOWEVER, I do believe that DSMP’s style did still affect the fandom, specifically with the topic of this essay, Flower Husbands.

But why would it only really affect Flower Husbands? Now we get into a rough topic: shipping discourse. Back in those days, shipping in the mcyt fandom was heavily frowned upon. Moreso than it is today (I know it’s still around, but it was a lot worse the earlier we go lol). I’ve even seen old relics of ppl saying flower husbands should only be portrayed as platonic cuz it’s wrong to ship them, despite their team name literally being husbands. But more importantly, for A LOT of people, flower husbands was the One Ship people felt “allowed” to ship, BECAUSE it was canon. So they would allow FH and shun every other ship.

My point isn’t actually that, with it being the only “acceptable” ship everyone tried to make it more wholesome, though I suppose that could be a contributor. But my ACTUAL point is where all the things I laid out finally close in on each other:

Ships were a Dangerous territory in mcyt fandom, and ships being “canon” was something a lot of people weren’t prepared to deal with. People don’t want to get too close to RPF territory, but back in the day their ideas of c! vs cc! wasn’t as great, so they default to the DSMP Rule of “if it’s stated to be roleplay, then it’s canon to the characters, if not, it’s noncanon and just the CCs hanging out”.

You see where I’m going with this? When trying to follow this rule for a character relationship where they don’t explicitly state what is or isn’t RP, they hear “we’re married” and instantly mark that as canon to the characters since it clearly isn’t true to the CCs, and tend to block out anything else, otherwise you’re risking it not actually being true to the characters. Especially when it’s things like Scott saying something mean about Jimmy; that directly contradicts the “these characters are in love” thing, so it must not be canon, right?

But wouldn’t people still remember that these things happened, or did they actually straight up not process any of it? My answer to that is: of course everyone was paying attention, but with the context that it’s the CCs playing a video game, all of the teasing and other behavior seems WAY less serious. It just looks like average friends playing a hunger games smp together. And as I explained earlier, the fandom was ONLY processing this as a CC thing, so Scott’s treatment of Jimmy never stood out because that’s just how it is playing games.

Back to DSMP, I’m not active in that fandom anymore but I’ll see snippets sometimes, and I’ve seen the claim that beeduo was actually boring in canon and the fandom was the one that made it interesting. I feel like this is exactly what happened with FH. Nobody was actually expecting anyone to go hard into romantic roleplay, so the fans just take whichever pair says they’re getting married and fill in the blanks themselves. And that was normal back then, it wasn’t fans making stuff up for no reason, it was kind of expected of us.

So yeah, I personally believe that this whole confusion about FH is a result of its time. Whether you want to finally look at the actual substance of the relationship rather than following weird rules about what is or isn’t “canon”, or you believe that since FH was from a time where romantic RP was confusing and weird it would make the most sense to take into account the time period it came from and ignore the less appealing bits in favor of the fanon, I don’t really care honestly. But man isn’t this an interesting situation.

[perilegs]

when you light up your cigarette from another person's cig it's called the same thing as fucking them in finnish. and. i was drinking with a couple of friends last weekend and now that i think about it there is something funny about standing outside in the cold and having someone ask me to fuck them (= light their cig with mine) in front of their partner bc it's funny (said partner has also done the same to me). and we were all joking and being silly but both me and the partner are the kind of people that are fun to tease and make fun of bc 1. we dont mind 2. we find it funny usually 3. we unfortunately make it v easy, so. anyways i offer the end of my 2nd cig to the person whose cig i lighted earlier bc i wasnt feeling it and they had just declined a full cigarette from their partner bc that was too much at that moment so the partner was jokingly like "whyd you take leevi's cig but not mine" the the convo took a weird turn and ended up in two people who are standing on both sides of me patting my head and leaning on me while calling me a good boy. obviously it doesnt sound as hot in finnish but if i didn't already have a praise kink that would have awakened something in me

[aiscapades]

this fandom about a monster fucking dating game makes me feel more welcome and included than any other fandom i've participated in

[kaylazer]

back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔

(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)