#and then when we tried again they said the delivery was on the way

[daughters-of-liberty]

I had a similar experience to greater-than-the-sword when my cat grew ill. Not being with her while they fruitlessly tried to figure out what was wrong with her, was very trying at the time.

As a retail worker, I saw the best and worst of humanity. I was routinely tipped by customers as thanks "for doing my job". I saw someone pay for someone else's groceries because they lost their job and couldn't pay, leaving them in grateful tears. In addition to our store's curbside and delivery services being offered, we had local young people offer to deliver groceries to elderly people in town so they wouldn't have to leave home and risk infection.

But the bad far outweighed the good, I'm sorry to say:

I lived and worked in a border down at the time. My state did not implement mandates until August 2020. We had people come over from our neighboring state and yell at us for not wearing masks, only to storm off in a huff when we told them we did not have mask mandates, and vow to never shop there again! ...They were back the next week.

I have severe social anxiety and wearing a mask made my periods of hyperventilating worse, as you can imagine. But, I didn't have a medical exemption. Still, my boss stood by those of us that found it difficult or even traumatizing to wear a mask. In my department, I worked with two women, let's call them Jane and Alice. Alice had severe asthma, to the point that wearing a mask set off such bad asthma attacks, she'd have to go home for the day. And Jane's last birth saw her forced into a ventilator mask, so she associated masks with her birth trauma.

Even after mandates were enacted in our state, some of us were told by our boss that we didn't have to wear a mask because of our circumstances. The worst social harassment I have ever experienced happened during this time, as others documented above. When the threat of fines became too much for our employer, we few were finally forced into compliance. Jane, Alice, and I really struggled that first week. Jane had a panic attack on the floor and had to go home for the day. Alice had an asthma attack and had to go home for the day. I had a panic attack in the back, and one of the other department managers (who was an Afghanistan vet with PTSD) had to help me through it. I did not go home that day.

I remember those same karens that yelled at me for not wearing a mask were now very smug. "Oh, looks like you have to wear masks now, huh?" I tried to hide the violent thoughts I had in that moment, but the fact they quickly glanced away after meeting my eyes told me I had failed.

I remember one time, after curfews were put into effect (mostly for teenagers, I should point out), I was followed home after a closing shift by a cop, ensuring I never went anywhere but work and home. I waited a minute or two and left to go get some food at the gas station despite having food at home, my tiny act of rebellion against the stupid curfews that didn't apply to me anyway, because I was a legal adult.

My mother lived in the neighboring state, which had curfews that applied to everybody, not just teenagers. I can't recall what time at night they were enacted, but they didn't lift until like 7/8 in the morning. Small problem: my mother opened at her job, meaning she had to be there before 6. Why her department had to open at 6 when customers weren't even supposed to be on the roads until 7 or 8, I don't know. So, all the department managers had to be given slips that stated they were on their way to/from work to be carried on their person in the event they were pulled over en route.

My stepmother works in a factory in the neighboring state, in a facility with not so great air conditioning. In summer, people typically had fans at their station to help keep cool. During the pandemic, they were banned because they "blew the virus around". I think she said two or three colleagues got heat stroke that summer from lack of fans/air conditioning in combination with the suffocating masks.

I had a coworker who worked at the local nursing home as their full time job. Every week, she had a new story about some poor elderly man or woman, some with dementia or alzheimer's, who had no contact with their families. The saddest story she told was of a man who's family came to visit him, as he was dying of cancer. They couldn't see him face to face. They had to stand outside, in the snow, and wave at him through his window. He died shortly after, not being able to physically say goodbye to his family.

The teenagers I worked with were depressed because they couldn't spend time with their friends in person, were robbed of prom and homecoming, and an actual graduation ceremony. They had a "drive through graduation" followed by a graduation parade down main street. Needless to say, a lot of these kids didn't feel like they had fully passed through that door, like they hadn't really "achieved" anything.

The lasting implications from these events, even in my little corner of the world, cannot be fully known.

We should journal and record what the pandemic hoax was really like...and I mean offline... because I have a feeling this is one the history books and digital world are going to intentionally forget about.

Like remember how they had stores where "for your safety" you were only allowed to buy products they deemed essential. Remember going into a store and sections were roped off and the fucking stores wouldn't let you buy certain things.

I remember going into a dollar store to buy emergency supplies but they were deemed non essential because they were in the camping/outdoor section. I remember that they had employees...regular ass people doing a minimum wage job walking around and harassing customers who were trying to buy anything but food or medicine. Because apparently if you buy food at the store covid wouldn't get you but if you bought a book you were sure to kill yourself and everyone around you. All this during a stage of this "pandemic" where nobody you knew had even heard of anyone who was sick...this was before the jabs came out and people really started "Dying of covid."

You could write a whole chapter about all the times some karen told you to put on a mask and you had to resist the urge to feed them theirs. And remember when they changed the meaning of karen midstream to apply to people who wanted to be left alone and not wear a mask instead of insane entitled people desperate for a sense of power over otherswho make unreasonable demands...like someone who approaches strangers to demand they cover their face so they feel less afraid.

[haikyu-mp4]

Delivery boy

word count; 717 – f!reader

Akaashi gulped as he reread the order to ensure he wasn’t hallucinating his predicament.

Please send your cutest delivery boy<3

The sushi shop he worked at was family-owned, mainly run by the older family members, whose children went to university and couldn’t help deliver anymore. Thus, they hired him.

And when someone sent this request with their delivery order, the ladies had cooed and assured him he must be exactly what they were looking for. Those ladies loved their sweet, honorary family member.

He, however, wasn’t so sure. He looked at his reflection in a window he passed on his bike, pulling at the collar of his uniform and feeling the clammy edge, suddenly also noticing how the hair that peeked out of his cap clung to his forehead.

Honestly, didn’t feel like the kind of cute boy they wanted. At least not today.

Not when he had rolled out of bed way too late after studying until midnight last night. He broke his shower time record this morning and was incredibly thankful for his uniform including a cap when he had to leave it to dry by itself on the way to work.

Turning onto your street, he shook his head, trying to rid it of irrelevant negative thoughts. He has to deliver it anyway, it’s just a funny request.

It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine.

He parked his bike by the curb, taking a look around for anyone who looked like they might want a new bike for free before choosing to put the bike lock on even if he wasn’t staying.

The window on the door greeted him with his reflection once again, and he instinctively adjusted his glasses. Checking the names on the doorbells for the apartment building, he found the right one according to the order instructions and rang it.

It didn’t take long before he could hear two giggling voices from behind the door, making him purse his lips nervously and clutch the bag of food that he pulled from the delivery bag a minute ago.

“Hi! Can I pay by card?” you asked while Akaashi handed over your order. He nodded, going back into the delivery bag to fish out the handheld card machine.

“Did you write cutest boy in town?”

“Shh!” you hushed your friend, who hid behind the other door and just peeked at Akaashi through the little window. “Sorry about that…” you mumbled and held up your credit card, which was decorated with cute stickers.

Akaashi cleared his throat, completely overthinking it and assuming your friend thought you had forgotten to specify since you only got him. “I’m sorry, we currently don’t have any other delivery staff.”

You looked up with wide eyes, startling him. “What? No, you’re plenty cute!” you clarified before planting your face in your hands in defeat. “I mean- don’t worry about it. You’re great.”

Akaashi tried not to smile, finding you beautiful already and even sweeter when you were flustered. Flustered about him nonetheless. “Oh. Thank you.”

You came out of hiding to pay, but quickly lifted your card again. “Wait, is there a student discount?”

Akaashi hummed in thought before nodding, turning the machine’s screen back to himself. “Can I see your student ID?”

He was rolling on his heels while you fumbled for the other card in your pocket, holding it up so he could check. Instead of looking at the date, like he was supposed to, he observed your name and picture, then the school logo in the corner.

“Hm? We go to the same university.”

While he put in the student discount and then held the card reader out again, you said something about hoping you might see him around.

His teeth showed when he smiled, keeping his eyes on where the payment was confirmed because he knew that looking at your pretty face might give him heart palpitations at this point. 

There was an added tip as well, so he politely bowed his head before stepping back. “I’ll keep my eye out for you.”

He practically skipped down the steps, back straight as he glanced over his shoulder and just managed to catch you still looking at him through the window on the door before disappearing when he caught you.

Cutest delivery boy in town, huh.

masterlist

[cxffecoupx]

soonyoung as a girl dad

girl dad! soonyoung fluff, smut (just a lil), requested warnings: reader has a womb, soonyoung absolutely whipped for his baby girl, mentions of him wanting a lot of kids, sex (again, i tried) wc: 925 author's notes: thank you, anon, for requesting this, because i loved it way too much. i got carried away a lil heh, but i hope you enjoy this. (and i might do a boy dad! soonyoung too, maybe)

girl dad! soonyoung who starts jumping up and down in excitement when he sees his little baby girl. he is emotional of course, but his happiness somehow overpowers with the way he keeps smiling giddily and kisses the little baby in his arms. runs over to you to tell you how adorable she looks with his eyes and your smile, but he talks so fast that you cant really keep up with him, but just keep smiling because his happiness is so damn contagious.

girl dad! soonyoung who is always so ready to shopping for baby items. he was so so excited to buy a little rocking cot for the baby before the delivery. now he buys a ton lot of plushies and toys, and you only notice at the checkout that most of them are tiger shaped ones.

girl dad! soonyoung who disappears almost immediately when you enter the clothes shop, only to return 10 minutes later with not one, not two, but three matching tiger onesies, complete with hood and all. you dont even argue with him because you know he's been waiting for this. hell, he'd been planning this ever since he's fucked a baby into you. buys a LOT of more matching clothes, but he's always eyeing the onesies with the brightest of smiles.

girl dad! soonyoung who is always around you and the baby, cooing and giggling at her while telling you jokes. he has his hands interlinked with you whenever you're together, and you know he'll he around to offer you as much help and support you need during this difficult time.

girl dad! soonyoung who learns from his mom, how to take care of your baby. learns about how to feed her, when to feed her, how to burp her, how to change her diapers, how to know why she's crying. he rushes over whenever she starts crying at night, but not before telling you to go back to sleep and that he'll handle it.

girl dad! soonyoung who dresses her up in her tiger onesie when his friends and family come over to meet her. when they arrive, they find the door open and the first thing they see when they enter is two and a half tiger looking people. jihoon asks you to blink twice if you need help, and you cant help but shake your head and sigh watching soonyoung keep up his tiger persona.

girl dad! soonyoung who feels like she grew up within the blink of an eye, and starts missing her baby days when she becomes one year old. but at the same time, he starts to learn how to tie and braid her hair, starts to buy more fashionable clothes for her because to him, "she's either going big or going home". his words, not yours.

girl dad! soonyoung who starts trying for his next baby right after his first child hits one year. he had already told you how he wanted to have a football team of children with you, and although you scoffed at him then, you did discuss to have at least 3 children. "the rest", he said, "we can decide later".

soonyoung who, although swears he loves his baby girl, is absolutely ecstatic when he learns that his mother has volunteered to babysit her for one night. and he promises to take full advantage of it. he pushes your face down into the mattress the second you agree to have more kids and thrusts in deep to make sure that you're pregnant by the next day. his low groans elicit louder moans from you, and he's never been more thankful for his mother, he thinks later.

girl dad! soonyoung who dances with his daughter every single day. it started very unexpectedly though. you were all in the living room and watching music videos until a song came up and your daughter started throwing random moves outta nowhere. this was enough for soonyoung though, to jump up from the couch and hold your baby's hands and dance with her. it didnt take long before they pulled you in too, just three people goofing around in their living room.

girl dad! soonyoung who, even though has a passion for dancing, never forced your daughter towards it. agreed, that seeing his daughter dance to songs makes him feel very proud. and although he'd love to see his daughter has a dancer like he is, he never ever wants to push her to something she doesnt like. which is exactly why he's over the moon when she asks him to take her to his dance studio or practice rooms.

girl dad! soonyoung who is always at the front row seats whenever your child's school has any programs. he's always the first to jump from his seat and give a standing ovation for anything your daughter does on stage, whether it be a dance performance or a speech or singing. he's just very very proud of his baby girl, forever.

girl dad! soonyoung who had a lot planned for his family before his marriage. and even though it doesnt always happen according to them, he's happy for the most adorable daughter who unmistakably takes after him (except for his obsession with tigers tho, which makes him pout), and for the most beautiful wife who he continues to love every single day. he's happy for this small family that he has now, but he's even happier looking forward to expanding it and maybe even have a football team of children. whatever you're up for.

[patrywoso]

6. Ingrid Engen

+18 SMUT

“My love?” Ingrid said as she walked into the apartment. It looked, empty, like you weren’t even there. The TV was off, the kitchen was empty, and the apartment was completely silent. “Babe, where are you?” She asked as she looked around, taking off her shoes and shrugging off her coat. Ingrid didn’t get a reply, so she hung up the coat by the door, making sure her shoes were out of the way before making her way further into your shared home. She didn’t think too much of it, maybe you just had a long day at work and went to bed for a nap after getting back, or maybe you were in the shower.

What Ingrid wasn’t expecting was to walk into the bedroom to a very naked you lying on the bed on full display for her to see. “Oh,” Ingrid’s eyes widened at the sight in front of her. “You’re naked.” She stated, not even blinking but telling herself she shouldn’t stare. “Very naked.” This time she pulled her eyes away, looking away from you and around the room.

That received a small laugh from you, “You can look, you know? We have been together for years.” you reminded her. “And besides, I’m naked for you.”

“For me?” Ingrid looked back at you, head tilted just slightly out of confusion.

“Who else?” you rolled your eyes. 

Ingrid smiled back, clearly staring right now, doing her best to be subtle as she let her eyes roam over your body. You were leaning against the headboard, propped up on a pile of pillows, and the duvet ruffled up under your body, your legs were parted, pulled up slightly at the knees, almost like you were waiting for Ingrid to grab them and push them further apart. “So, what’s the occasion?” Ingrid finally managed to speak, having recovered just slightly from the sight she walked in on.

“Well, it’s been a few days since we did anything. You’ve been working late because you need to learn a new position.” you started. “And you’re finally getting really good at it, so I thought we’d celebrate. And besides,” you spoke again once you saw the pleased look on Ingrid’s face. “I kinda got a new package in the mail and I’m dying to try it out.”

Ingrid’s eyes perked up at that, she wasn’t entirely sure what package you were talking about. From the context, it was safe to assume it was a sex toy, but you didn’t give much detail about what kind of toy it was. “So, have you just been waiting for me?” Ingrid finally asked, waiting for you to tell her a little bit about the new delivery.

“Yes, since you told me you were headed home.” you nodded. “Can you just fuck me already,” you almost whined at her, you were growing a little impatient and Ingrid was just standing there watching you, “As much as I love eye fucking, I had a different kind of fucking in mind?”

“Someone’s impatient,” Ingrid commented, her eyes moving lower, down the slope of your breasts and past your stomach to between your legs for only a second before looking back up at your face.

“Then do something about it.”

“Nope,” Ingrid gave you a sly smile, you could see the cogs in her head turning and working. “I’m gonna take my sweet time with you tonight.” She told you, while she was taking off her pants.  

“You think you can be patient that long corazón? I haven’t even shown you the toy yet.”

“I think I’ll be just fine.” Ingrid matched your tone, unbuttoning her shirt, purposely taking her time, and doing her best to not let the mention of the new toy get to her. “I’d be worrying about myself if I were you.” She sounded cocky, and you usually loved it when she did. “So,” Ingrid started, her voice measured and calm as she crawled between your legs before leaning down, chin going to rest on the spot right below your belly button. Her hands came up to your hips, going to hold them loosely. “How was your day?” She asked you like it was just another conversation where the two of you were sitting on the couch after getting home from work.

You couldn’t help but laugh, it was a low noise, sending shivers through Ingrid as she tried to remain calm and collected. “God, why are you like this?” “Oh, you love me.” Ingrid shrugged, bringing her face up slightly, kissing the soft skin she was resting on before moving up along your stomach. “I missed you.” She said between kisses, reaching the base of your sternum. “I’ve been getting home way too late,” She added, her tongue flat against your skin, licking up along the sternum to your right boob. “Leaving before the sun’s even up.” Ingrid pressed a kiss against your skin, falling silent as she sucked on the small spot she had just kissed. “And coming home when you’re already in bed.” She moved up to your nipple, Ingrid loved how hard and stiff it got in her mouth. 

Licking circles around it, Ingrid could hear the small gasp from you, and couldn’t help but smile to herself at getting a reaction this quickly. She kept at it, nipping gently and tugging on the nipple, feeling it harden against her tongue. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” Ingrid spoke again, bringing her head up to look at you. What she saw took her breath away, your eyes were dark with the pupils blown and you already looked impatient. The sight of her looking at you like that, your nipple stiff and sensitive right below her, was enough for Ingrid to start to feel a heat creeping up between her own legs.

“Less talking,” you hushed her, your hand going to tangle into Ingrid’s hair before pushing her head back down to your breast. Ingrid let you guide her back onto your boob without complaint and she let her mouth get back to work. Her left hand came up from your hip to her other boob to give it the attention and love it deserved. 

You let out a sigh that sounded almost like a moan. “There’s a box on the dresser.” you managed to speak, you had actually completely forgotten about it until you felt Ingrid’s hips start to grind against yours as she continued to work on your breasts. “I think you’re going to like it.”

One last swirl of her tongue around your nipple and Ingrid looked up at her questioningly. “What’s in it?” She asked her with a quirked eyebrow.

“Go find out.”

Ingrid let out a small sigh, reluctant that she was having to leave and get up from on top of you. “You could’ve just kept it next to the bed.” She complained halfheartedly as she made her way to the dresser. There was only one box there, it was a plain brown cardboard box, with nothing on it but a label with the apartment address. The tape was broken but the box was still closed neatly, telling Ingrid that you had opened it. She didn’t wait too long and pulled the flaps open before taking out the packing peanuts to find the toy. It was in a clear blister pack, and her eyes widened as she brought it out of the box and looked at it. It was big. It was bigger than any of your other ones.  “Jesus Christ baby,” Ingrid started, “Are you sure?”

“It’s big.” you agreed.

“It’s more than just a little bit.” Ingrid tried, looking back down at the piece of silicone in her hand. “Are you sure?” She looked at you with what almost looked like concern. Length-wise, it was pretty huge, 7 inches insertable according to the packaging. But the girth is what got Ingrid, about 6 inches in circumference and that was quite a lot for something to be going inside another person.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at Ingrid’s reaction. “Yeah, I mean, I’ve been meaning to try something a little bigger than the usual.”    Ingrid couldn’t help but let her mind wander, images already coming up of how you would look with this inside you. Her mouth felt dry as she formed more words, now completely on board with the idea of trying out this toy. “Did you get lube?” She finally asked. “I don’t think we have much left.”

“Yep,” you nodded, pointing at the box. “There’s also a new O ring in there for your harness, this one’s not going to fit in the other one.”

Ingrid nodded, retrieving the two objects from the box, noticing for the first time there was something else in there. She was still a little nervous as she walked back to the bed with them before setting them down next to you. Technically she shouldn’t be the one who was nervous, but this was really big. “This is going to be fun,” She smirked at you, handing her the bottle of lube. “Start getting warmed up, I’m gonna get the harness.” Ingrid leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss to your lips before speaking, “It’s going to take a while.” She whispered against your lips, finally moving away.

You watched as Ingrid walked away, circling to your side of the bed and unlocking the drawer to find her harness. You took the seal off the bottle, pressing the pump a couple of times for the lube to come out before working it on her fingers. You wanted Ingrid to do this for you, that was the whole point of being naked and on display for her, but you knew that Ingrid liked to make you wait for it, wait until you were completely desperate before touching you because you were so needy. You watched Ingrid as she stripped out of her bra and underwear, your full attention on the harness. You couldn’t quite explain it, there was something innately hot about watching Ingrid undress and get ready to fuck you. 

Ingrid finished up with the harness, it took a minute to figure out how to change the O ring because yes, you were right, the one on it would not fit the new dildo. Once it was on and Ingrid was sure it was secure, she made her way back to the bed, walking slower than necessary and taking her sweet time. She pretended to not even notice you lying there playing with yourself, it took a lot of self-control but Ingrid managed to get the dildo and put it in the harness without paying any attention to you. God, she could hear how wet you were for her.

“So,” Ingrid breathed out, “Where were we?” She gave you a playful smile, pretending that she had completely forgotten about it.

“You were about to fuck me with that thing,” you replied a little impatiently. 

“No,” Ingrid started, kneeling on the bed as she returned to her spot between your legs. “I was going to warm you up before I fucked you with this thing.” One of her hands went on the toy hanging from between her legs, the other on the wrist of the hand that was touching yourself, stopping you.

“But I don’t wanna wait,” you whined, her lips turned into a frown.

“Patience my love,” Ingrid told her, voice low and quiet but stern as she pushed your legs apart and lowered herself. “Do you know what I want to do to you tonight?” She asked you, voice measured and you only shook your head, Ingrid’s voice sending a shiver down your spine. “First, I’m going to go down on you, very slowly, very gently.” She could smell you from how close she was to you, you were wet, almost dripping with anticipation and there was almost a twitch when Ingrid started to speak. “But you’re not going to come, I’m going to stop right before you do.” She could see you swallow, as you listened to Ingrid. “Then, I’m going to finger you,” She continued, Ingrid’s index fingers going up to your pussy and running against the slick skin. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw you shudder, hips already trying to buck into her hands for more contact. “Until you’re begging me to let you come,”

“Are you going to let me come?” You asked her, voice uncertain, not knowing if you were allowed to speak right now.

“Yes.” Ingrid nodded, watching her own fingers circling around your opening. “Once,” She added. “Then I’m going to finger you again, slowly this time,” Her eyes went up, locking into yours. And fuck, the look in those eyes, dark and clouded, pupils dilated, so so desperate. “Until I know you’re loose and ready to take this.” You couldn’t help the whine that escaped your lips at that, the smallest, quietest one Ingrid had heard. “Then I’m going to fuck you. Soft and slow, or maybe hard and rough.” She shrugged casually, “I haven’t decided yet, maybe both.”

“Will you let me come?” You asked her, lips slightly parted slightly.

“So many times,” Ingrid answered, smiling up at her as her hand moved away from your cunt and up along to your hips, before trailing the fingers up to your stomach. She moved herself up this time, face coming up right in front of you as she looked at your lips. “You’re going to come again,” Ingrid kissed you, soft and quick, “And again,” Another kiss. “And again,” She kissed you again, longer and harder this time, “As many times as I want you to.” your lips trembled, moving your head to kiss your girlfriend again. “Until you’re begging me to stop,” Ingrid said against your lips. Her nose nudged against you trailing up along it before she placed a kiss on your forehead, “How does that sound, love?” Your eyes fluttered shut, you didn’t know how Ingrid’s voice could go from so filthy and arousing to soft and pure in less than a second. It gave you whiplash. “So good,” you choked out, finally opening your eyes a second later, only to find Ingrid had already moved away again. “Come back and kiss me.” You complained. “I want your lips on me.”

That received a grin from Ingrid, her hands on both of your knees as she pushed them slightly apart before settling to lay down between them. “And you’ll get them.” She told you, placing a string of small kisses along the inside of your thighs, “Maybe some tongue too if you’re good.”

You closed your eyes, leaning your head back as you felt the first swipe of Ingrid’s tongue on your wet pussy. Nothing could’ve prepared you for it, nothing ever prepares you for that first contact. You let out a small groan, doing your best to relax as Ingrid’s mouth went to work. Ingrid is exceptionally good at this, it always has just the right pressure, just the right movement, just the right pattern. You could feel Ingrid’s tongue along the sides of your entrance, which only made you want more, it was so close, just a little bit to the side and her tongue would be exactly where you needed it. “Ingrid please,” you tried, wanting more of her, needing more contact.

Ingrid was happy to oblige, her tongue lapping at your wetness along your labia. She would never get tired of this, she would never get tired of how you tasted, how you moved under her mouth, how you sounded, how your body twitched and shuddered. Her tongue dipped inside, only for a moment before it moved further up. The frustrated groan she got from you made Ingrid smile against you, wanting to get as many noises out of you as possible. Her teeth grazed against your clit and she wasn’t sure what kind of noise that would get from you but that small yelp wasn’t it. You were so ready for her, so sensitive, so Ingrid gave you what you wanted, let her mouth and her tongue swirl and lick, and do all the things she knew would drive you to the edge.

“No!” you cried out as Ingrid abruptly pulled her mouth away from her. “Please don’t stop, I'm so close.” you gasped out, your voice shaking and uneven and eyes looking at Ingrid with desperation. “Ingrid please.” you tried again, breathing a little rapidly as you tried to catch your breath. “I just need a little more.”

“Shh,” Ingrid shushed you, kissing up along your body, from your hips to your stomach to your chest and neck before finally reaching your lips. “I told you,” She kissed you, it was soft and slow on Ingrid’s part but you deepened it, pressing against Ingrid with force and want, you could taste yourself and it just made you want more of Ingrid.

“Please,” you said into the kiss, “I need more, I need to come.”

“And you will,” Ingrid replied calmly, it was a miracle her voice was this steady when there was a flood between her legs just from having gone down on you. “I want you to calm down a little before I shove my fingers inside you,” Her voice sounded rougher this time, dripping with primal intent to just fuck you senseless. Ingrid was getting a little impatient too, the weight between her legs made her just want to stop playing around and shove it inside you already. She was regretting her little plan. “Kiss me,” Ingrid told her, “Show me how much you want me to fuck you.”

And you did, you lunged at Ingrid with so much force, that it knocked the air out of her lungs. Ingrid kissed back with just as much passion, she let her hands roam over your body, your chest your stomach, and your arms. Your arms went to Ingrid’s back as she continued to kiss you, moaning a little when you felt Ingrid slip her tongue into your mouth, your own taste still lingering on Ingrid. But you didn’t have time to react or respond to it because you could feel Ingrid’s fingers moving between your folds, wanting to go inside. You did your best to control your breathing, legs parting almost on their own to give Ingrid more access.

“Ingrid” It came out as a strangled groan, half of it getting caught in her throat as she felt Ingrid push two fingers inside. “More Ingrid please,” you begged, you were so wet and so loose and all you wanted was to be filled.

“You’ll get more as soon as you come, baby,” Ingrid said, her own voice starting to crack at the sight of you underneath her. She kissed your neck, sucking on the delicate skin as her fingers pumped inside you. She could hear the grunts and the moans with every little movement and Ingrid had no intention of stopping until you were coming on her fingers. Ingrid bit against the skin gently, slowly increasing pressure, she wanted to leave a mark on you. Your breathing was shallow and rapid, Ingrid could see you getting closer to the edge with every thrust of her fingers and she increased her pace and pressure.

“Thank you, thank you,” you couldn’t help but repeat like a broken record. You were so close and you just wanted to finish, Ingrid’s fingers curled inside just right as they slid in and out. “Just a little bit more Ingrid please.”

And she did, her fingers rubbing against the spongy spot inside you, as close to the g-spot as Ingrid could get. She stepped it up a little further, the palm of her hand falling flat against your clit, which received a small scream from you, it was too much all that once, but Ingrid didn’t let off, she kept at it, her palm and fingers working in unison to pull you to the edge and over it. It wasn’t long after that, not long till she felt your walls squeezing around her fingers. You screamed out her name, back arching off the bed as Ingrid’s free hand went to your hip to hold you down. She let you ride it out, her fingers still not stopping until you begged her to pull out.

“Do you want a little break?” Ingrid asked knowingly, eyes soft and caring as she watched you finally open your eyes.

“Can I?” you asked in response, your vision a little hazy and your chest still heaving as you tried to get your breathing back to normal.

Ingrid nodded, her wet fingers trailing up your body, she could feel the goosebumps it left in its path. She reached your jaw, then your lips, and you automatically parted them to take Ingrid’s fingers in your mouth, you started sucking on them, tasting yourself, licking yourself clean from Ingrid’s fingers. Ingrid didn’t give you much of a warning before her free hand went back to your cunt, this time pushing three inside, you took it easily but the sudden sensation caused you to almost gag on the fingers in your mouth.

“You said I get a br..”

Ingrid shoved her fingers back in your mouth before you could finish the sentence. “This is your break.” She told you. “I’m not moving my fingers inside you.” Ingrid explained, “I’m just keeping you open.” you looked beautiful with her fingers in your mouth, eyes glassy and wet from almost choking a second ago. “Now suck my fingers clean while I hold you open then I’m fucking you with the strap.”

You nodded, a hand coming up to wrap around Ingrid’s wrist so you could do just that. Your eyes locked into Ingrid’s, watching her, being good for her, doing your best to tell her that you were going to be so good for her if Ingrid just fucked you like you wanted. “God,” You gasped out, Ingrid’s fingers still inside your mouth, gagging on them suddenly as Ingrid pushed them deeper into your mouth.

“Good girl,” Ingrid smiled at you, finally retracting her fingers from your mouth, “You’re so good for me baby.”

You couldn’t help but let out a whine at that, Ingrid telling you were being good, her fingers still deep inside you stretching you open, god it was enough to make you come again.

“Are you ready?” Ingrid asked, moving herself lower along your body, her fingers still unmoving inside you. You nodded eagerly, muttering a small yes. “Are you ready for my strap my love?”

“I am,” you replied instantly, you wanted it so bad you were aching with desire. “I’m ready.”

“I think you are too.” Ingrid was kind of getting to the edge herself, just from watching you like this. You were a mess for her; there was spit on the side of your mouth from sucking on her fingers, eyes glassy and almost teary, legs spread open, you were so desperate for her, you wanted her. The cry that came out of you when Ingrid pulled her fingers out sent another gush of wetness to her own cunt and she had to bite down on her tongue to keep herself quiet. “Lube up baby, get it ready for you.”

“Don’t need it,” you said in a rush, you didn’t want to waste any more time. You felt empty right now, Ingrid had stretched you open and suddenly that feeling was gone and you just wanted to be filled again, stretched further. “I know you’re wet,” Ingrid told you slowly, “But this thing isn’t.” Ingrid nodded to the piece of silicone between her legs. “Trust me, you need lube.” you let out a frustrated grown-up at that, Ingrid doing her best to hide the smile that was threatening to escape at how annoyed you looked.

You got up reluctantly, back coming off the bed, your body feeling heavy and almost like you didn’t have much control over it. You looked up at Ingrid, locking eyes with the woman standing on her knees between your legs, and squirted out a couple of pumps of lube onto your hand. You licked your lips, eyes not moving as you worked it onto the shaft. It really was big, bigger than you originally thought it was, and you only realized that when you had your hand around it. The look in Ingrid’s eyes almost made you nervous now, her eyes were dark and there was a glint of something there that you weren't accustomed to seeing. 

“You look a little worried baby,” Ingrid commented, her eyes wandering down to the silicone protruding from her, watching as your hand moved along it, covering it in the slick, white substance. “Think it’s too big for you?” She could feel the deep dull aching settling into the pit of her own stomach, just watching you touching her right now, the look in your eyes, the swollen lips…god it was all too much.

“Maybe,” you answered, a little uncertain, your hand wandering away from the dildo and fingers grazing over Ingrid’s hips. “I don’t know if it’ll fit.” you chewed on your bottom lip, taking in a shaky breath.

Ingrid only smirked, you looked a little nervous, rightfully so, Ingrid was nervous when she saw the new dildo. But she knew you weren't pulling out or wanting to stop, you would say it straight up if that was the case. “It will,” Ingrid stated simply, her hand going up to your shoulder and gently easing you back onto the bed to lie down. “I’ll make it fit, don’t you worry about a thing baby girl.” Her lips still lingered against your skin, trailing your jaw, neck, and slowly down your body, Ingrid reveling in all the little shivers and soft gasps she received.

“Don’t stop unless I safeword okay?” you squeezed your eyes shut once Ingrid nodded, head against the pillow as you felt Ingrid’s lips move across your body, finally stopping once she reached the top of your pubic bone. Your breathing was shallow, a little uncertain, and it was like a jolt of electricity when Ingrid’s index finger grazed against your clit, your hips bucked up immediately, wanting more, impatient, needy, desperate. “More baby, please.” you practically begged, not opening your eyes. Ingrid’s hands went onto your knees, pushing them apart and spreading you open before holding you down by the hips. Her grip was gentle, now anyway, just steadying you for the moment.

“Relax baby.” Ingrid breathed out, thumbs gently rubbing circles on your hips to ease your nerves. She watched you for a moment, naked and spread out for her, Ingrid loved seeing you like this, at her mercy. There was a shin of sweat covering your chest already, but your breathing was starting to even out again and Ingrid needed a moment to just take in the sight. “Are you ready?” She waited for you to nod before one of her hands went to align the dildo to your entrance. She rubbed it against your pussy, slick and wet, your breathing hitching once again. Ingrid teased you for a second, the tip of her cock pushing at the entrance but not quite going inside. She loved watching you trying to get more contact, trying to get more of it inside you but Ingrid’s hold on your hips kept you in place.

You let out a small whine, sounding half like a cry at Ingrid teasing you even now. “I want more,” you told her, looking up at Ingrid with glassy, desperate eyes.

“Be nice.”

“Please,” you said, immediately correcting yourself. “Please I need more.”

Ingrid didn’t respond, didn’t say anything but obliged, how could she not when you looked so pretty begging. She moved her hips a little more, pushing inside slowly, watching as the head of the cock finally disappeared inside you. Ingrid watched you only bite down on your lip, not making a noise, waiting as Ingrid slowly pushed further inside you. You were quiet at first, taking in the first inch, then the second like the good girl you were. But then there was a whine, jaws clenching as you felt Ingrid stretching you. It really was wider than you were expecting it to be. “Oh god,” you gasped out, your heart pounding, your left hand going to Ingrid’s thighs. She wasn’t even completely inside you yet, not even halfway actually but it was just so thick. It was easier at first, your opening easily taking it, but the further inside it went, the bigger it felt, the wider it felt and you didn’t think you could take it all. “It’s so big.” you breathed out, your chest heaving, feeling slightly uncomfortable as Ingrid kept going. “Ingrid I can’t.” you pleaded, pushing at her thigh to keep her from going further into her. “I can’t take it all, it’s too big.”

“You can,” Ingrid told you sternly, the fingers on your hips digging into your flesh. Her free hand went to you on her thigh, stopping you from pushing her away. “You haven’t even taken half, I didn’t get you warmed up for this.” you swallowed at Ingrid’s tone, nodding immediately. “Spread your legs wider,” She said, and you did as asked, pushing your legs apart as far as possible for Ingrid. “You’re going to take it all,” Ingrid stated, “It might hurt a little, but I know you can.”

Your breathing was shallow, your mouth dry as you swallowed the lump in your throat. You felt so full already, stretched out to your limits was what it felt like. You watched as Ingrid reached out and picked up the bottle of lube, squeezing the pump onto the part of the shaft that was still waiting to be inside. Another pump went on a little higher, on your swollen clit and you couldn’t help but let out a groan at the new sensation, you were desperate for Ingrid to touch you there. “Oh god,” you swallowed a gasp as you felt Ingrid’s fingers on you, circling around your entrance against the dildo, spreading the lube on a little more.

“Relax,” Ingrid told you again, “It’ll go easier if you’re relaxed, you know that.” you nodded at her in agreement, Ingrid watching you for a moment before slowly moving her hips again, pushing inside of you. Ingrid could feel your hand on her thigh, gripping hard and almost trying to push her away again or at least stop her. “Don’t fight it,” Ingrid’s tone was almost threatening, “Be a good girl.” you hadn’t given her the safeword, there was no need to stop yet, you could keep going, she could keep pushing till you couldn’t take it anymore.

You tried to do as Ingrid asked, eyes shut as your grip on Ingrid’s thigh loosened and you let Ingrid keep going. It wasn’t even fully in you yet, and it already felt too much, you weren’t quite sure how you were going to handle it when Ingrid actually fucked you with it. You couldn’t help the whines that escaped your lips as you felt more of Ingrid’s strap inside you, pushing you apart, stretching you open more and more, every time you thought that was all of it, there was just more. Your lips were parted, a little bit of spit drooling from the corner of your mouth when you realized Ingrid was finally completely inside you. You had completely given in and blacked out for a minute. Ingrid was slow and gentle and took her sweet time to get all of it inside you. “Ingrid it hurts, it’s too big.”

Ingrid only smirked at you, “You bought it not me,” She told you, “And I’m not stopping until I know I have to.” She reminded you, a subtle reminder that you could drop your safeword whenever you wanted to if it was uncomfortable. “You’re trembling,” Ingrid noted.

“It’s…” you started, unable to finish your sentence without needing to catch your breath, Ingrid still buried deep inside your cunt. “A lot.” you added, “I’m not used to it.”

Ingrid could see how open you were, how much the dildo was stretching you and just the sight of your pussy stretched out made Ingrid want to pull out just to slam back into you. But she wanted to start it off slowly, so she started to move, pulling out only about halfway before sliding right back into you. There was a grunt the moment it went back inside you and Ingrid did it again, and again, and again before pushing into you with a little more force this time. That received more than a grunt, somewhere between a whine and a cry and Ingrid kept at that. Letting get you used to the new pace, listening to all the sounds that came out of you, the twitches in your muscles every time Ingrid was completely inside you.

“Oh god please don’t stop,” you told her between thrusts, Ingrid was still being a little conservative with the force of it, you knew she was just building it up.

“Does it still hurt you?” Ingrid asked you knowingly, her hips falling to a rhythm as she waited for your response.

“Yes,” It came out as a whine, the word just barely understandable, “But it’s so good.”

Ingrid pulled out more this time until just the head was inside you. She didn’t give you a warning before slamming into you and the cry she got from you made Ingrid almost come right there on the spot. She kept going, her pace faster this time, harder and longer thrusts, pulling out almost completely before slamming into you.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” you couldn’t keep quiet. It was hard and it was fast and it was rough and it was more than you thought she could handle. “So big.” you gasped out, your body was moving now with Ingrid’s thrusts, the headboard thumping against the wall as Ingrid kept going. “You’re stretching me out fuck, I can’t take it it’s too much.” Tears stung the back of your eyes, it was all too much; it was too much sensation, it was too big, Ingrid’s hands holding you down to the bed, your fingers digging into her hips that would most definitely leave a bruise the next morning, god you were getting so close.

“Are you crying, baby girl?” Ingrid asked with a smug look on her face, watching the small tears escape your eyes. “Do you want me to stop..”

“No!” It came immediately. “Please don’t stop.” you told her desperately, it didn’t seem like Ingrid had any intention of stopping, “Hurts so good.”

Ingrid looked pleased, waiting for you to come, wanting to kiss those swollen lips again, brush away those tears, and hold you close, tell you how good you’d been for her tonight. “I’m gonna make you come so hard, baby.” Ingrid told her, “Are you close?”

“So close,” you replied, your eyes flooded with tears from the overstimulation. You just wanted to finish now, you wanted to come and be done for the night. “Please let me come.”

Ingrid didn’t reply, only leaned down and kissed your lips. It was short and left you wanting more, whining as Ingrid pulled away. “I’ll be nice.” She told you, not giving you much of a warning before one of her hands went to your clit. The thumb brushing against it made you practically scream out, you were very sensitive, and the smallest touch could drive you over the edge. Ingrid was leaning over on top of you now, pressing her mouth to your neck, wanting to leave another mark as her thumb ghosted over your clit, unsure of how much you wanted to give her right now. The thrusts didn’t stop, Ingrid pounding into you with more force now, the gasps and moans and cries more clear to Ingrid now due to how close you were to her.

Then she touched you, her thumb easily gliding over your clit because of the slickness that was both yours and the lube. Ingrid felt you shudder against her, your arms coming up around Ingrid’s back, wanting more of her, wanting her closer. The blunt nails dug into her back, you edging closer and closer with each thrust of Ingrid’s hips, each swirl of her thumb. Your breaths came out in short pants, head leaned back as you felt the climax building within you, threatening to come loose. It didn’t take much longer for that, your back arching off the bed, nails digging into Ingrid’s back breaking skin as you let out what was half a scream, half a cry, clinging onto Ingrid as if your life depended on it. You rode it out, rubbing your clit against Ingrid’s thumb, letting her thrust inside you harder than she had been all night. 

“Thank you thank you thank you,” you couldn’t stop, you couldn’t shut herself up once you were all cried out. But the tears hadn’t stopped, they were still rolling down your cheeks as Ingrid dragged the orgasm out.

Chest heaving as Ingrid pulled out of you. Ingrid’s lips were on your jaws, giving her hips a rest before wanting to go again, she did say she was going to make you come over and over again. “You look so beautiful when you come for me when you scream my name.”

You had a blissful smile on your face, tired out, sore, unable to move. Ingrid’s little compliment never failed to make you blush, but that was easy to hide now considering how your face was completely flushed as was your upper chest. “No more.” you finally spoke, your voice shaky and uncertain. “I can’t take anymore tonight. It’s really fucking big,” you added. Ingrid was about to take that as a challenge, she wasn’t going to stop until you dropped their safeword, and Ingrid wanted to push you to that point,  well, that is what you had asked for. “ Ice Latte”

Ingrid’s head came up to look at you, that was your safe word. Ingrid nodded at you, kissing you softly on the lips as her hands went to the side of the harness to unclip it. “You’re so good for me,” Ingrid told you, one hand on your cheek, thumb brushing away the tear stain as the other undid the harness and dropped it to the floor. “You’re such a good girl.” The other hand came up as well, cupping your cheeks and kissing your forehead. “You did so well,”

“I wanna be good for you,” you replied.

Ingrid smiled at you, she knew what you needed after something as intense as this one. You needed to be praised, kissed, held, and told that she loved you and how good you were. “And you are.” She told you, kissing you again before laying down on top of you. “So good.” Ingrid ran her fingers through your hair, your body still trembling as she worked on bringing you down from that high. “Come on,” Ingrid moved slightly, next to you and wrapped her arms around you, bringing you close. “I love you so much.” She told you as you pressed your face against Ingrid’s chest, closing your eyes. “You looked so pretty with the strap stretching you, how did it feel?”

“So good,” you replied, voice muffled by Ingrid, doing your best to keep yourself awake at this point. “It hurt so good,” you added. “I’m so sore.” you sighed this time, “You are way too good at this.”

“I wanna make you feel good, you deserve it, baby girl.” Ingrid couldn’t help but smile, kissing your hair. “You sound sleepy, let’s get you cleaned up.” She told you, “You have cum and lube everywhere.”

“Mmm-mm,” you shook her head. “Too tired. Too sore,” you answered. “You do it for me.”

There were wet wipes on the nightstand for nights like this one, where one of them felt too worn out to actually get to the bathroom to rinse the stickiness of the cum or lube off, or the sweat. So Ingrid turned in her spot, reaching next to her to open the drawer and retrieve the pack of wet wipes. You whined as she sat up, disapproving of the loss of contact, and frowned at her. “I won’t be long,” Ingrid rolled her eyes, smiling nonetheless as she opened it and pulled out two wipes before moving between your legs. She wiped away the lube from your hips, then the part of your ass that Ingrid slammed against, and then very gently wiped off the cum and lube from your pussy. She did her best to not cause too much stimulation, with gentle fingers and light touches, clean enough to get her through to the morning.

Ingrid discarded them on the nightstand for now, she’d get rid of them later. Then she moved up next to you, studying your face for a second before wiping the corners of your mouth and cleaning away the spit. Then your cheeks for those tear stains that made Ingrid’s heart pound, “You look so pretty when you’re crying and begging for me.” She told you as you looked into her eyes, “I love knowing how desperate you are and how badly you want me.”

You didn’t have it in you to speak, and you only let out a small whine to let Ingrid know you wanted her now, wanted her laying back in bed with you and holding you close.

Ingrid was happy to do just that, putting the wipes away when she was satisfied with herself before laying back down, her arms going around you, pulling you close to her. She kissed the top of your head, whispering sweet nothings to you, telling you how well you did tonight, how much she loves you.

“Was I good for you?” you asked her again, maybe you just liked to hear Ingrid say it.

“So good,” Ingrid told her yet again. “You’re such a good girl for me my love.”

[vivwritesfics]

(Oh My God) They Were Roommates

Chapter Six - Netflix and...

Lando Norris and Y/N L/N were teammates. Tension had been between from the minute they started driving together and, when it only got worse, McLaren CEO Zac Brown decides there's only one solution: Have them live together.

1.2K

Warnings: Smut, eating out, fingering, lingerie

Series Masterlist

The package arrived on a Wednesday. The delivery driver left placed the box outside of their door and knocked before walking away, leaving it there.

Lando opened the door. He looked down at the package, at the name written on the top of the box, and brought it inside. There was nothing he had to be suspicious about with the box as he left it outside of his roommates bedroom.

"Package!" He shouted as he knocked on her bedroom door.

Y/N waited for him to walk away before she opened the door and pulled the box inside. She shut the door and placed the box on the bed, using a pair of scissors to open it.

Inside of that package were several smaller packages. There were see through bags full of lingerie and more. Sex toys, new vibrators and a dildo. It wasn't her that ordered it, it was her friend. It was her solution for the 'Lando Problem' as they had started calling it.

She tried on a new set of lingerie, keeping it on as she pulled on her pyjama shorts and hoodie once again. Y/N pushed the box under her bed and left her room.

Knocking on Lando's bedroom door, she waited for permission to walk in. Lando shouted a 'come in!' and Y/N walked in, leaning against the doorframe.

Things had been incredibly uncomfortable since she had sucked him off. She was avoiding him once again, eating late at night and ducking out for training when Lando was gaming or streaming, door to his bedroom shut.

But she was done with that now. She wanted his attention now.

Lando didn't look away from his game, from fifa, as she began speaking to him. "Wanna watch a movie?" She asked, his voice somewhat sweet.

"Sure," Lando answered as his players ran down the pitch. But then he kept talking, just not to her. Y/N stayed in the room as she listened to him, tried to work out what was happening, who he was talking to. So, she pulled his headset from his head and placed it on her own.

Max Verstappens voice came through, loud and clear. "Oh, hey Max," she said as she watched them play.

"Oh my god it's Y/N," Max said, sounding surprised. "I completely forgot you lived together. Can you give me back to Lando?"

She placed the headset back on Lando's head and walked out of the room. She got herself something to drink and settled on the sofa, television on in front of her while she waited for Lando.

Maybe he was making a point, making her wait like that. But Y/N sat on the sofa, covered up by a blanket with the television on. Lando made her wait for half an hour before he emerged from his room.

"What're we watching?" He asked as he sat beside her.

She shrugged her shoulders and turned on the first movie she came to on Netflix. It didn't have to be good; they hopefully weren't going to be watching it for very long.

Ten minutes into the video, Y/N threw off her blanket, muttering something about being too hot. Her loose shorts had ridden up, revealing the lace beneath.

He didn't notice it at first. When he looked down at his phone he spotted the lacy blue beneath the grey of her shorts. Suddenly Lando couldn't look away, couldn't pull his eyes away from it.

Y/N was hyper aware of it, of the way he was staring at her lingerie. Her fingers wrapped around the waistband of her shorts and pulled them up slightly, showing off more.

Suddenly Lando looked up, meeting her gaze. He breathed in, refusing to pull his eyes away. She bit her lip as she grabbed the hem of her hoodie and pulled it up over her head. When she threw it to the side and looked at him again, he was still staring at her.

His eyes travelled down for just a second, but they quickly returned to her face. "Take the shorts off," he said and Y/N stood up. She pushed the shorts down her legs, letting them fall to the floor.

Lando didn't hesitate to reach towards her, his hands settling on her waist as he pulled her closer. He looked at her face, into her eyes as his fingers danced under the waistband of her panties, hands still holding her hips.

"Are you okay with this?" He asked, mirroring what she had said to him just days before.

She nodded her head and Lando withdrew his hands. He felt her through her panties, felt just how wet she was. He couldn't hide his grin as he pulled down her panties, let her step out of them and put them in his pocket.

He looked at her as he took her leg and placed it on the sofa. Still looking into her eyes he kissed the inside of her leg. She could have melted into a puddle then and there. The way he was looking at her as he kissed her thigh was too sweet, too loving for what was about to happen.

He kissed her again, closer to where she needed him. "Lan," she squeaked, reaching for his hair.

Lando gave her a sly grin before he dove in, licking and sucking at her skin. He pushed his tongue through her folds and she let out an almighty moan, her head thrown back as her fingers laced through his brown strands of hair.

Lando took this as an encouraging sign and kept going. He had his arms wrapped around her, hands holding her ass in a way that suggested he was trying to pull her closer.

"Holy fuck, Lan!" She cried as he sucked on her clit. The feeling was euphoric, her legs shaking as he brought her closer to the edge.

His attention moved to her hole. He licked over it, letting go of her ass to bring her fingers up to her.

He ran his fingers through her folds, gathering a mixture of his spit and her slick. Lando made sure he was looking down at her as he put his fingers into his mouth, licking her off of his skin. It was a taste he'd never get bored of.

He sucked her clit again as he pushed his fingers through her folds, pushing his finger inside of her. She suddenly pushed against him, grinding down onto his hand.

Lando sat back and let her work. "Another," she rasped and Lando added a second finger. She only rode him harder, bringing herself to a shaking orgasm.

He kept her going through her orgasm, letting her ride it out. When she was finished, Lando pulled away from her. He kept a hold of her ass, pulling her on top of his lap.

Lando brushed her hair away from her face. Her chest was heaving as she sat on top of him, facing him with her arms wrapped around his neck.

She leaned in closer, testing the waters as he went to kiss him.

Lando kissed her back with desperation.

Taglist (CLOSED): @biancathecool @hollie911 @topguncultleader @annispamz @carlossainzwho @spideybv28 @wherethefuckisthething @fangirl125reader @minkyungseokie @marialovesf1 @kitixie @i-wish-this-was-me @bborra @formula1mount @charlotte1697 @formulaal @eviethetheatrefreak @lordpercivalcharles @venisvendetta @marie0v @tbsloneely @laur20a23 @formulas-bitch @cmleitora @marvelavengers000 @gills-lounge @andydrysdalerogers @demipatterns @holy-macncheese-balls @jule239 @aexitizen-ln4 @landosgirlxoxo @allinestarr @starmanv @st0rmzi3 @random-human02 @nocoolusernamesavailable-blog @happymeal777 @ashy-kit @juniper-july19 @im-an-overthinker @haylenxx @kapsylia @prettiest-at-the-party @urfavnoirette @norassimpingzone @thehufflepuffavenger1 @taintet @amorydsmt @hi00000234567 @iamkaku @maxv33rstappen @noneofyourfbusinessworld @thatsusbitch @izzy-marvel @carqueensworld

[rafesangelita]

love your new theme and rafe + noncon (if your uncomfortable just ignore this)

warnings: non-con!!, ex-bf!rafe, possessiveness, breaking and entering (?), obsession, manipulation, unprotected sex

a/n: i’m so happy you love the theme, thank youuu <3 also i got a little carried away so this is a tiny bit longer than a drabble lol

“yes, i’m just so excited! i haven’t been on a date in so long..” you held your phone between your cheek and your shoulder as you fixed the straps of your heels. “oh, my god, please tell me you’re wearing that one sexy dress that you keep in the back of your closet,” you laughed softly, “the dress that rafe never let me wear? yeah, i’m wearing it out tonight.” your friend squealed excitedly on the other line. “i just know you look insanely hot right now. what was that guy’s name again?” she asked. “warner. remember, he’s the one that stopped me outside when we were out for brunch?” you grabbed your purse, looking at yourself in the mirror one last time.

“oh, that’s right! okay, stay safe and tell me all the details when you get back.” she said. “i will, bye!” you hung up, making your way to the front door.. except it was already open. “warner, huh?” your heart dropped at the voice. it couldn’t be. “how did you get in here, rafe?” your voice was shaky, fear planting your feet in place. he sighed, pressing his chest to your back as he closed the door, locking it shut. “i made a spare key.” he shrugged, placing both of his hands on your shoulders. “where do you think you’re going, y/n?” his chin rested in the crook of your neck.

“on a date.” his breath was hot against your skin. “no, no, i don’t think so..” he whispered in your ear, a hand coming up to wrap around your throat. you should’ve known it wasn’t going to be this easy to ‘move on’ from rafe. he made it nearly impossible for you to get through each day without a reminder. the cryptic messages, the constant deliveries and showering of gifts, it, he, was inescapable. “please leave.” you whimpered, a chill running down your spine as his grip tightened around the column of your throat. “what did i tell you about this dress?” he traced a finger down your side.

“you have to leave me alone, rafe. i’m begging.” tears started forming in your eyes. “leave you alone and then what? let someone else have you? oh, baby..” he shook his head, “i’ll die before that happens.” you screamed as he dragged you down the hallway, tripping over your feet until he pushed you onto your bed. he straddled you, taking your chin between his thumb. “look at this makeup..” he marveled at the sight of your glossed lips and shimmery eyes, “i’ve always thought you looked prettier after i ruin it.” he laid you down, breathing in the scent of your perfume.

you pushed at his chest, the action deemed useless as he didn’t budge. his nose ran across the underside of your jaw. “you know what i’ve had to do since you left me?” he pinned your thigh onto his hip, stroking the soft flesh of your ass. “i spray your perfume on my pillows so that i could still go to sleep and wake up to you everyday.” you cried, still trying to push him off. “everything was so perfect..” he pulled away, wiping a stray tear from your eye, “until you fucked it all up.” he pinned both of your hands between the valley of your breasts. “until you said i was too controlling and left.” he said through gritted teeth.

rafe locked eyes with you as he undid his belt. “no. no, don’t do this.” you tried to kick and thrash, but the weight of him didn’t let you. “shhh, i’m not going to do anything i haven’t already done.” he cupped your cheeks, taking your lips in a searing kiss. you bit his bottom lip in a poor attempt to stop him but it only spurred him on even more. “you can’t hurt me, baby.” he laughed, sliding your panties to the side. “stop!” you looked away from him, screwing your eyes shut as he forced himself into you. you gasped, your walls fluttering around the intrusion. “i don’t believe you when you say you don’t want this, you know why?” he stroked your folds, holding his fingers up.

“look at how fucking wet you are, i just slid right in.” he smeared the shiny digit against your lips. you whimpered, hating your body for betraying you in this very moment. “please, rafe.” you shuddered when you finally looked at him again, a sadistic grin adorning his face. “keep going? i am.” he groaned, his eyebrows knitting together as his jaw went slack. “fuck, i missed this pussy so much,” he hiked your dress up around your hips, his thumb now rubbing fast circles on your clit, “tell me you missed me too.” he tugged on the roots of your hair, forcing you to look down at where you two were connected.

you swallowed thickly, feeling yourself approaching your orgasm. “i missed you too.” your voice was barely above a whisper, but rafe still heard you clearly. “yeah?” he tenderly stroked the side of your voice. “yes. ‘missed you so much, ray.” your eyes rolled back as your legs began trembling around his waist. rafe’s hips stuttered, both of you clinging onto one another as you fell over the edge. tears rolled down your cheeks, your vision hazy while he spilled into you, your cunt still clenching around him for everything he had. you stared at the ceiling once rafe collapsed on top of you, running your fingers through his hair.

you two stayed like this for a few minutes before the door bell chimed. as if you snapped out of a trance, you were suddenly hyper aware of the sticky mess between your thighs. rafe got up, making his way to the front door as you laid there on your bed, legs feeling like jelly. you didn’t even want to imagine what rafe was saying to warner right now. you sighed, sitting up once rafe walked back into the room, a smug look on his face. “he won’t be coming back. let’s get in the shower and call it a night, yeah?” you nodded, allowing him to undress you. “ray?” you watched as he took your heels off, “yeah, pretty girl?” he glanced up, meeting your tear stained eyes.

“are you staying?” rafe massaged your foot, “yeah, and you’re not leaving.”

[loveinhawkins]

Robin’s always had a soft spot for Eddie Munson, but up until recently it had been in a distant kind of way; she appreciated his class clown act, the way it had a domino effect of keeping the heat off the band kids, how he hogged the spotlight for any passing douchebag’s attention.

But then they both literally dive into The Upside Down, and her appreciation reaches a whole new level.

They’re in the Wheeler’s garage, thanking their lucky stars that four bikes exist in 1983 (and yeah, Robin’s sure that if she thinks about the whole time thing for half a second more her brain will promptly melt, so she doesn’t).

Each of them are pushing their chosen bike down the driveway, in a dazed sort of silence—the high of the Lite-Brite worn off in the face of another grim journey through The Upside Down.

Steve is flagging, Robin can hear it: his breathing’s growing laboured as he walks, an occasional unsteadiness to him that’s setting her anxiety off all over again, because what if they were wrong, what if it’s really rabies, and it’s too late, it’s coursing through his veins, and he’s—they’re gonna lose him—

“Hey, Harrington,” Eddie says, swinging a leg over his saddle, “wanna race?”

“… Hmm? Sorry, what?” Steve says.

There’s not even that long of a delay in him speaking, but the pause still has Robin’s heart in her throat.

Eddie’s got one foot on a pedal now, ready to set off. He looks back at them with a shaky grin—like he’s terrified, but he’s still gonna have some fun anyway.

“I’m throwing down the gauntlet, King Steve. Bet I’ll be faster than you.”

Steve scoffs, stands up a little straighter before he mirrors Eddie, balancing on the bike with one foot on the pedal.

“How much are we betting?”

Eddie huffs. “Oh, no money involved,” he says nonchalantly. He raises an eyebrow in challenge. “This is just for the glory.”

And God, there’s that spark back in Steve’s eyes; it’s like Robin can physically see his competitive streak giving him strength.

Eddie Munson, you beautiful soul, she thinks, I could kiss you.

“Faster than me? Yeah, maybe in your dreams, Munson,” Steve says.

But Eddie’s already speeding off with a comical whoop; Steve curses as he hurriedly tries to catch up, yelling, “You dick, that’s cheating!”

“Not in my rulebook!” Eddie says with a cackle.

And for a little while, that’s enough to put Robin’s mind at ease: watching the pair of them taunt each other like kids—hearing Nancy laugh at the spectacle as she bikes alongside her.

But then she falls through the Gate, Eddie close behind her, and they freeze when Steve screams Nancy’s name with such fear.

Robin’s plunged back into a mind-numbing panic; she’s sure that her heart doesn’t even begin to slow until they’ve left the trailer park, until Steve’s control of the RV switches from ‘holy shit, we’re on the run, what have our lives become?�� to something more normal—the reliable, measured driving she’s familiar with, taking her to and from school or work.

Finally, she has time to, um… take stock. Of… things.

She wobbles her way over to Eddie, grabbing onto his elbow as Steve takes a turning.

Eddie instantly holds her up, a steadying hand around her waist. “Oh, hi. I’ve gotcha—” “Your music isn’t actually shit,” Robin says in one breath. “I know, um, on balance, it’s probably not the worst thing I could’ve said, but the delivery was—but, you know, considering I thought Nance was literally about to die, I’d say it was, like, kinda calm all things considered, but—”

Eddie’s chuckling. “Yeah, on balance,” he echoes teasingly, “you were pretty damn funny, actually. Uh, sorry for. Um. Screaming at you? Basically?”

“Basically,” Robin agrees. “Yeah, you were like impressively loud. Not quite eardrum-rupturing level, but y’know, I don’t actually know anyone who’s really had that happen to them; Amanda Wallis said she ruptured hers at the pep rally ‘cause she was standing too close to us—the band, I mean, but—”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Oh, that’s bull, there’s no way that’d be loud enough to—”

“—I think she just had a grudge ‘cause David C on mellophone got literally the tiniest bit of spit on her, and he was only—”

“Yeah, well, everyone knows you sit in the splash zone at your own risk.”

“Exactly! She’s had plenty of time to learn marching band protocol.”

“Uh-huh, protocol,” Eddie echoes again, with a giggle.

He’s got a nice kind of laugh, Robin thinks: one where she’s never in doubt that he’s laughing with her rather than at her.

“That stuff you do’s pretty cool,” he says; with his free hand, he actually imitates her mime of playing a trumpet. “You must have good, uh…” She can see the exact moment that he’s having second thoughts about saying it, but he forges ahead anyway, with a hilariously uncertain, “Good… lungs?”

“Fascinating attempt at a compliment,” Robin says. “Luckily for you, I accept insults as, like, equal tokens of friendship.”

Eddie does a double take. He doesn’t go so far as letting out a questioning, “We’re friends?”, but he might as well have said it anyway: his eyes widen for a moment, like someone who’s just been unexpectedly asked out to prom.

Steve takes another turning; he does it smoothly enough, but even he can’t stop the RV from moving with it, and Robin stumbles again, very nearly ends up repeating how she toppled right onto Eddie in The Upside Down.

“Woah there, you’re good,” Eddie says, “just gotta find your, uh, what’s it called? Your equilibrium.”

“I don’t have any,” Robin says, all theatrical devastation, and Eddie snorts.

“Sure you do, Buckley. Look, just take my—yeah, that’s it, then just kinda straighten up… yeah, you’ve got it.”

And yes, after a minute or so, Robin’s footing does feel more certain, but she still keeps a stubborn grip on Eddie’s elbow, just in case.

“God, d’you know what I’m gonna do when all this is over?” Eddie says.

“Pray tell.”

“I’m gonna make a list. What was it you said, Madonna, Blondie…? Whatever, I’m getting all of them, m’never getting caught out like that again.”

“I’m hoping that needing music to evade the clutches of a serial killer from an alternate dimension is, um, strictly a one-time thing.”

“Don’t care,” Eddie says. “Still buying those tapes. Just in case.”

And yeah, it’s said partly in jest, but Robin can hear that he means it. Still, it’s the most optimistic that she’s heard him be so far: making plans for after, like he can really see a way through this. Like maybe he finally knows that they’ll help him get there.

“Need a list of tapes from you too, Buckley. You and Harrington.”

Robin smiles. Her first thought is of singing Total Eclipse of the Heart from the dirt-ridden floor of a mall bathroom, but then she thinks of every car ride with Steve, every time they’ve turned up the radio to belt along, and she knows that there are way too many songs to count.

“Forget a list,” Robin says, “I could fill a book. Same for big boy over there.”

Eddie blinks, like he’s suddenly taking stock, too. “Oh yeah,” he says, laughing lightly, “I did say that, huh?”

“Sure did. I was doubting my ears, too.”

Robin had been hoping they’d long since reached the point of being able to joke around with one another. But while Eddie does laugh again, he also starts biting at his thumbnail, glancing over at Steve in the driver’s seat.

“Um, hey.” Robin manages to keep her balance, briefly pressing her knee against his leg. “I didn’t mean anything by it, Eddie.”

“No, I know.” Eddie huffs self-effacingly. “I’ve kinda got permanent foot-in-mouth disease, my report cards would tell you that.”

Well, if he wants to pass it off as sometimes I just say the darnedest things, Robin would be a hypocrite to deny him.

It fascinates her in a sad sort of way though, how he veers between joking and nervousness—like he’s worried he’s intruding on their group, of overstepping somehow.

She wants to tell him: Look, we all got dragged into this, but we chose to stick around, and you’re no different.

But she no longer has the aftermath of Russian drugs to help bypass her own nerves, to kickstart her sincerity.

“Hey, you’re awfully quiet back there,” Steve calls, and Eddie startles.

Robin shakes her head. “Not us, that’s his—”

“Hello? Henderson, I’m talking to you.”

“We’re not even doing anything!” Dustin shouts back in exaggerated affront.

He’s sat on the backseat of the RV, peering out the window along with Lucas, Erica and Max. Robin stifles a chuckle at the sight; they look like they’re on a field trip—the cool kids at the back of the bus.

“Yeah, well, just checking,” Steve says, amused. “For all I know, you coulda been building a gigantic radio again on, like, the roof of this thing.”

“Cerebro,” Dustin says, just as Eddie lets out a baffled, “Uh, again?”

But then they’re pulling into The War Zone’s parking lot, and any chatter abruptly dies.

Afterwards, Steve gets off the road to park in a reassuringly deserted field. They don’t head outside right away (Robin’s not exactly looking forward to prepping Molotov cocktails), instead staying in the RV to eat junk food they’d grabbed beforehand.

Robin discovers that Dustin’s somehow bought five more cans of Pringles and snorts, declaring, “You’ve got a problem.”

At some point, Steve tries to sneak off to the bathroom so he can change his dressings—“And use actual proper bandages!” Robin calls to him; no offence to Nancy’s resourcefulness, but the torn shirt strips only do so much good.

It becomes a more comical than horrifying event, although she’s sure that’s down to Steve deliberately making it so, like a sleight of hand trick: playing it down as he keeps talking to the kids throughout, never wincing even once.

He ends up having to keep the bathroom door open to continue an argument with Erica over which Scoops Ahoy sundae was the best of all time—then figures that he might as well just step out into the open anyway.

At least the wounds have stopped bleeding—although the sight of Steve cleaning around them with bottled water is one that Robin could personally do without.

The kids are entirely unfazed. They flock to Steve, peering at the glimpses he lets them see like he’s just got a cool tattoo. Robin supposes that after El and whatever nightmare wormy thing was in her leg, they’ve seen everything.

Eddie, however, is another matter. He keeps quiet about it, not obvious at all, but Robin watches his face grow paler and paler before Steve wraps the new bandages around his stomach.

Dustin, bless his precocious little heart, must also notice, because he quickly starts up a seemingly impromptu game of charades, meaning that Eddie is soon distracted by his ridiculously over the top gestures.

“No, Steve, how are you not getting this?”

“I thought the whole appeal of this game was that you’re not meant to talk, Henderson. Dude, watch it, you nearly took Max’s eye out with… whatever the hell that was.”

“Oh my god, it’s Back to the Future, obviously! Ow, Max, I didn’t mean to��uh, yeah, the mime needs to be that big, how else am I gonna project what—”

“Dustin, I swear to god, I’m about to project you out the window,” Steve drawls.

Eddie laughs, hides it behind his hand.

But Steve must catch it, because he glances over at Eddie and winks before he’s dragged back into guessing another movie title.

And Robin’s obviously seen Steve wink before—he does it all the time, so much so that she’s become quite adept at reading when it’s a friendly one for her, or if he’s sharing some kind of in-joke with one of the kids.

She’s also seen his attempts at a ‘smooth’ wink towards some girls at work—and look, he’s Steve Harrington, it’s not like he’s going to be bad at it.

But if you ask Robin, it’s never looked quite right, like he’s always performing to an audience he’s unsure of.

But this wink doesn’t look like it belongs to either of those categories. Well, it’s got something in common with the first: that it looks entirely natural, as if he’s doing it almost without thinking. Like it just feels right.

They go through some more rounds of charades—Dustin’s gestures, if possible, getting even more dramatic—and Eddie gradually goes from contributing a few guesses to none at all, curling up on the backseat. He looks utterly wiped out.

Robin tries to catch Nancy’s eye, and after a few attempts, she gets the message, stands up with a nod.

“Okay, let’s take this outside, guys.”

“Spoken like a true camp counsellor,” Max says.

Nancy acts like she’s offended, but her lips keep twitching into a smile. “Max, never say that to me again.”

“There’s more space outside,” Erica says, “so we can duck out the way of Dustin’s windmilling arms.”

“Hey!”

“I’m bored of charades,” Lucas says. “We could do another competition? Like, I dunno, cartwheels or handstands or something?”

“Oh sure, so I can show you up?” Max returns, grinning.

Steve scoffs. “Uh, if you’re doing a cartwheel competition, I would win.”

“Since when?” Dustin says, an obvious taunt that Steve predictably rises to, flipping him off.

“Save your athletics for Vecna, please,” Nancy cuts in dryly.

“It wouldn’t be a fair fight.” Lucas gestures to Steve’s stomach, a little uncertainly. “You know, considering…”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Under normal circumstances, I would kick all your asses.”

“Sure,” Robin says brightly, “but Steve, if you do literally anything more strenuous than sitting down right now, I’m gonna—”

“Uh, Steve would kick your asses, actually,” Eddie says slowly. His voice is muffled from the way his hand’s holding up his chin, partly covering his mouth. “He did gymnastics.”

Robin, surprised, looks to Steve; he’s doing that thing where he scratches at his cheek unconsciously, seems to be a mixture of embarrassed and pleased.

“How’d you know that?” he asks.

Eddie shrugs. “We didn’t have a cover for gym one time, remember? There was a whole group of us slacking off but you just kept doing, y’know,” he twirls his fingers, “tricks on that box thingy.”

“Vaulting box,” Steve corrects like he can’t stop himself. He’s sporting an almost abashed little smile that Robin’s never seen before.

Eddie shrugs again. “S’all Greek to me,” he says, interrupts himself halfway through with a deep yawn.

Steve’s eyes soften. And then he’s ushering the kids outside, “C’mon, you can do whatever competition you want for thirty minutes before we get to work.”

“Got it, coach.”

“Shut up, Mayfield.”

“I’ll be your stopwatch if you’re doing handstands,” Nancy chips in, bringing up the rear—she catches Robin’s eye again, subtly tilts her head in Eddie’s direction and mouths Stay?

Robin nods.

“Uh, that won’t be accurate at all,” comes Dustin’s rebuttal—he’s outside now, but his voice still carries. “Unless you can like accurately keep time in your head down to the second—”

“Oh my god, Dustin, you’re such a shithead.”

“Nancy Wheeler, I’m heartbroken.”

Steve’s chuckle floats through the open door. “She said it, dude, not me.”

“You say it all the goddamn time!”

And then the voices fade away until all Robin can hear is distant laughs and joyful screams. It’s relaxing, in its own way.

“No gymnastics for you, Buckley?” Eddie says.

“Nope, not since 7th grade. Managed two cartwheels before I broke my wrist.”

Eddie winces in sympathy. He’s slumping a bit more; Robin makes herself comfy in the opposite corner of the backseat, gives him the most space.

She feels a weird lump at her back, behind one of the cushions. A quick investigation reveals an issue of TV Guide Magazine.

“Ooh, we can find out what we missed while on the run,” she says, waggling it in front of Eddie.

He smiles with a small huff. “Doubt it. Says 1981 on the front.”

“What’s a little more time travel?”

Robin flicks through to the crossword. She’s all too aware that Eddie’s still sat more stiffly than anything else. With Steve, it would be so easy; she could prod him in the thigh with her toe, light touches until he took the hint and relaxed.

But even before they’d really become friends, they were tactile: a tap on the shoulder to grab attention, bumping hips to move each other out of the way whenever they were scooping ice-cream at the same time. It’d been done so unconsciously, like they were already learning to read each other’s minds.

With Eddie, it’s clear that a different approach is needed.

Robin had caught onto that after her misstep at the boathouse, a pit in her stomach at the sight of Eddie’s hands shaking.

But her instinct to reach out, to soothe, made her unthinkingly try again; as they walked in the woods, she’d heard his breathing quicken, and her hand lightly brushed his back. She drew back as he instantly flinched at her touch.

“Sorry, sorry,” she said hurriedly. “Just—just checking you were okay. Sorry.”

Eddie just stared at her before nodding hesitantly.

And Robin wanted to tell him that it wasn’t by chance, that he had people who cared about him; that she did, and it wasn’t a fluke or an accident—she was choosing it.

She keeps her eyes on the magazine, jots down a few crossword answers. It reminds her of summer days spent reading on her grandparents’ porch, not wanting to startle a cat her grandpa had rescued as it approached her. It was always so spooked.

“You’ve just gotta let him come to you, sweet pea,” her grandma would say.

After a couple minutes, she hears Eddie breathe out, the creak of the seat as he lies down. He rests his head right next to her thigh.

“S’good?” he asks, pointing at the magazine.

“It’s pretty easy.” One of the crossword clues is ‘The Lion, the Witch, and the?’ which isn’t exactly taxing. “I’m used to doing the cryptic ones.”

Eddie laughs. He kinda sounds fond. “Of course you are.”

“They’re not that hard, once you know how to read ‘em.”

“Hmm, I doubt that. Lay one on me, Buckley.”

She purses her lips in thought. “Oh, I got this one last week. Condition of Wyoming, five letters.”

Eddie lifts his head ever so slightly to give her a blank look. “Not a fucking clue.”

“State. Get it? ‘Cause ‘condition’ is the definition, and Wyoming is literally—”

“God, I’m surrounded by geniuses.”

“Well, I’ve got the advantage of a summer of code-breaking.”

Robin slowly raises her hand as she speaks—makes sure to do it in Eddie’s line of vision, spots that he doesn’t pull back, that he even gives the tiniest half-nod. She pats his head twice.

Eddie scrunches up his nose. “Sorry, my hair’s gross.”

“It’s not that bad,” Robin says honestly. “Y’know for being on the run, it’s holding up pretty well. I’m getting whatever shampoo you use.”

Eddie smiles. “Sure.”

“Yours is looking way better than mine did after, like, one day getting wrapped up in all this.” Again, without really thinking, Robin adds, “I had all this sweat and blood and puke in it.”

Eddie’s eyes are closed now. He makes an unhappy sound, prods gently at her knee. “You’ve all gotta work on telling me horrific shit. That should not be casual for you, Buckley.”

He sounds emphatic—protective, even. Robin feels unexpectedly emotional.

“Yeah, sorry. Bad habit.”

Silence falls, and by the time Steve enters the RV, Robin has filled in the whole crossword, Eddie dozing by her side.

Steve’s getting another bottle of water—actually drinking it this time. He’s got grass stains on his knees, and he’s sweating slightly, like the ‘stay still’ advice hasn’t once been taken.

His eyes soften again when he sees Eddie sleeping—he doesn’t need to linger, but he does.

Robin watches.

We need more time, Steve, she thinks suddenly. For you to keep looking at him like that—for him to be awake to see it.

Steve tears his eyes away. Lands on her.

She smiles, mouthing What?

Steve rolls his eyes. He imitates her ‘what?’ mockingly, but then he smiles back and taps at his wrist, mimes winding a watch on. It’s what they do whenever they’re slammed at work, wanting to talk, but only able to briefly catch each other’s eyes in the rush. Later.

She taps her wrist. Later, she promises.

He gives her a double thumbs up—what a dork—before heading back outside.

Robin quietly puts the magazine away. Ever so carefully, she lightly strokes Eddie’s hair, feels her heart swell and break at the same time when he sighs contentedly in his sleep.

You’d better look after yourself, Eddie Munson, she thinks. You’ve got people here. People who really want you to stick around.

[neos127]

love is hard for park sunghoon (or is it?) — psh

office employee!sunghoon x fem!reader; genre. dating for convenience to real love, fluff notes. small drabble based on the manga ‘love is hard for otaku’ bc sunghoon gives nifuji vibes in these glasses!

otaku — is a japanese word that describes people with consuming interests, particularly in anime, manga, video games, or computers

sunghoon was positive that he was unlovable. he was a video game otaku who slaved away at his nine to five job and had rarely felt the touch of a woman. that was until you came along, like a bright ray of sunshine moving into his cloudy life. you were very different from him, loud and obnoxious at times with a very outgoing personality. sunghoon claimed that you weren’t his type, but the lie was long forgotten when he looked at your beaming smile and bright eyes.

for some reason that sunghoon couldn’t comprehend, you were interested in him. you talked to him first and were the reason behind the man becoming a flustered mess. sunghoon tried to tell you that being interested in him was a bad idea, his relationships never worked out because of his workaholic attitude and obsession with his handheld gaming device.

“you too? my past boyfriends never understood my obsession with mangas and idols. but it seems like you would!” you said, your voice twinged with excitement. after that you had basically proposed the idea of dating for convenience and oddly, sunghoon agreed. maybe it was because he was just lonely and severely touched starved— or maybe it was because your stunning smile made sunghoon’s heart skip a beat or two. he supposed if the two of you were dating for convenience, it wouldn’t be crazy to actually fall for one and other…right? he was your ‘boyfriend’ after all, it only made sense.

sunghoon couldn’t help himself. you were so understanding and you could relate to his lifestyle unlike people he dated in the past. you also never left sunghoon alone, even when he was furiously smashing the buttons on the controller of his gaming console. you would casually sit behind the man, legs thrown over his as you read your manga.

“you comfy back there?” sunghoon spoke up, readjusting his glasses and clearing his throat. he hoped that you couldn’t feel how hard his heart was beating or the way his body had become hotter under your touch.

“yeah i’m good.” you mumbled, a slight smile on your lips as you nuzzled the side of your face into his back. your eyes never left your manga and sunghoon could tell that you were highly invested.

“did you need anything?” you asked, surprised that sunghoon even spoke. whenever he played his game, he went silent. the only sounds that emitted from his mouth were annoyed grunts and a slew of curses.

sunghoon sighed and turned off his game, detaching himself from you to put his controller away. you whined at the loss of contact which soon turned into a gasp when sunghoon practically pounced on top of you. he took the manga from you, the book seeming so tiny in his large hands when he snapped it shut.

“m’sorry i’ve been neglecting you.” sunghoon mumbled, his glasses slowly sliding down his face. you pushed them up with your finger, smiling at the way they slid down his nose again.

“you don’t have to apologize. we decided to date because we understand how each other operates, is that not correct?” you asked, surprised that sunghoon decided to apologize. you felt it was unnecessary, you were just happy that he allowed you to be in his presence.

“but i want to. you’re…different from other girls I’ve been with…in a good way of course. and for some reason, that makes me actually want to give you my attention.” sunghoon explained, the delivery of his words sounding extremely awkward. you giggled, finding it amusing how inexperienced he was when it came to relationships, but you appreciated his honesty anyway.

“if that’s your way of saying that you’re attracted to me— then I feel the same.” you said, reaching up to mess with sunghoon’s hair. he caught your hand mid air, bringing it back down to his lap before playing with your fingers.

“yeah um, i am positive that i’ve fallen for you. i know we only dated for convenience but, i really do like being in a relationship with you.” sunghoon confessed, avoiding eye contact with you. using your free hand, you grabbed his chin, turning the man’s face to look at yours.

“i really like being in a relationship with you too, hoon.” you replied, a small smile on your face. sunghoon was sure he would’ve combusted on the spot due to the way your nickname for him rolled so easily off your tongue. the man had never felt such emotions before and he was surprised by how much of a hold you had on him. he was sure that he would get down on his knees and beg for you— if you wanted him to jump, he would ask ‘how high?’.

sunghoon smiled, an actual real smile where you could see his adorable fangs. you hadn’t seen much of the expression before, but at that moment you concluded that it was your favorite thing in the world.

“can i kiss you, sunghoon?” you asked timidly, watching as the man’s eyes widened behind the frames of his glasses.

“yeah…yeah of course you can.” he answered, his heartbeat picking up the pace by a tenfold. you smiled at his nervousness, leaning over to place a hesitant kiss on his lips. before you could pull away, sunghoon grabbed the back of your head, holding you in place as he deepened the kiss and forced you to open your mouth a bit more. you let out a low whine, the sound going straight to sunghoon’s gut. he shivered against your body, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap.

“what are you doing to me?” sunghoon groaned once he pulled away, moving his face to hide in your neck. you chuckled and patted the top of his head.

“it’s just my charm. only a select few can see it so, congratulations! you’re special!” you explained, playfully tapping the man on his nose. he scrunched it up cutely, letting out a small chuckle at your enthusiasm.

“yeah, lucky me.” sunghoon mumbled, his voice monotone as ever. to most people, it may have sounded sarcastic and as if he didn’t actually mean it. but sunghoon’s lovesick eyes said otherwise…and you knew sunghoon better than most people.

©neos127

[lowkeyerror]

The Family Business Ch.2

WandaNat x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Ch Notes: No warnings for this chapter, Krolik=Bunny, Sestra=Sister

Summary: Wanda was sent away on important business, by the time she comes back you're all grown up and a part of the family company. Wanda doesn't come back home empty handed in fact she returns with a brand new wife.

An: Ok someone asked me for Ch.2 early and I had to deliver. Next Ch.3 will be up on Monday. Stay tuned and hope you enjoy.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

True to their word, the Maximoff’s provided you with a roof over your head and protection wherever you went. You never worried about your mother again and you saw your father whenever his schedule permitted. However, your primary residence was with the Maximoff’s. They were just as kind as they had always been.

Dragos and Flora paid for anything you could ever want or need. They paid for your tuition at NYU, though you tried to argue against it. You double majored in software engineering and physics. Without the constant insecurities that your parents piled on you, you were able to reach new academic heights.

Wanda had gone off right before her college graduation, Dragos said she was doing important work internationally. He didn’t know when she would be returning. There was a small part of you that hated that the woman didn’t come to your graduation, but a card from her in the mail was enough to make you smile.

Once you had your degrees you weighed your options. After multiple boring interviews and under stimulating work you finally asked Dragos if there was anything you could do in the family business. Pietro wasn’t thrilled about you wanting to be involved, but once he saw you at work, he knew you’d fit right in.

The crime was fronted by a legitimate business that Dragos owned. Which meant that you got to work out of one the tallest office buildings in New York. Your standing with the family also afforded you a desk pretty high up. When you weren’t hacking into competitors’ systems or running field operations, you did simple accounting for the company. It was easier that way, as the numbers for both the true business and the under-cover business were vetted by you.

“Y/n, come on a delivery with me?” Pietro pops his head into your office space.

“What kind of delivery?”

He smirks, “Special.”

You quickly grab your jacket and follow him out of your office. As you navigate to the bottom floor the two of you make small talk.

“So, when are you going to stop playing around and ask Monica out?”

Pietro rolls his eyes, “When you date someone for more than 2 outings.”

You feign a pained look, “Ouch, that one hurts Piet.”

“The truth often does.”

Once you both are out of the building and into the car your demeanor changes a bit, “So who are these going to?”

“Mr. H.”

You groan, “That guy’s sketchy, I don't like him.”

Pietro laughs, “I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way about us. “

“Whatever,” you mumble, scrolling through your phone.

The rest of the ride is quiet, until you pull up to the drop of location. “So, I’m going in and dropping the stuff off. You’re going to wait for me in the driver's seat.”

“Why the driver’s seat?”

He blinks at you, “In case we need to get away faster, you'll already be in here. Keep the car running, this should be quick.”

While Pietro goes in to handle the business, you let your mind spiral into thoughts about Wanda. You miss her and feel like it has been too long. Dragos said that she ended up staying in Russia for awhile before heading to their home country of Sokovia. Apparently, while he ran the business here, she ran the operations over there.

You weren’t surprised that Wanda was trusted with such an important role, she always had leadership qualities. For a long while you thought you wanted to be just like her. Instead, you realized that the older woman had been someone you were interested in. Wanda had nearly a decade on you in age, but how could you not like her as a young queer girl.

Sometimes you could still feel her hand delicately grazing your torso as she patched up the wounds your mother inflicted. For awhile in the Maximoff’s home everyone treated you as if you would break into a million pieces. Maybe Wanda did too, but it was different with her.

She wasn’t just careful with you because she was scared, you’d break, but she truly believed that you deserved the care. Even when you began training with her, she treated you delicately. You wanted to learn how to protect yourself and she stepped right in and became the perfect teacher. You also began going to the gym with Pietro at least once a week. You weren’t trying to be buff, but just in shape enough to defend yourself if you needed.

Even though your outward appearance changed to be stronger. You felt as though Wanda saw right through that into your deepest insecurities and tended to them accordingly.

Your daydreaming is cut short by Pietro busting out of the warehouse where the drop was supposed to take place, with the goods still in his hand.

“DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!”

He jumps into the passenger seat, and you hit the gas. Pietro is talking to you, but your adrenaline is kicking in. Your fieldwork doesn’t really get this exciting without a debrief. Getaway driver is definitely a new change in speed.

Your eyes focus solely on the road, ignoring what the man is saying as his chest heaves up and down. A quick glance in the rearview mirror tells you that they are following you. While you are curious about what happened, those questions can be answered later. 

Pietro is actually mildly impressed with your driving skills. Your sharp turns and redirections are top notch in his opinion. Though you are doing great the guys are still tailing you.

You think for a moment, trying to remember the nearest parking garage. You realize that it’s behind you and brake hard, you weave through oncoming traffic to try to get to the parking garage.

“Get ready to hop out,” you say to Pietro parking the car. Once you do the blonde starts running on foot and you call after him. He stops in his tracks frantic until he sees you breaking into another car. When you get in you drive normally out of the parking structure and straight back to the office.

“Jesus Christ, Y/n I didn’t know you could drive like that?”

Pietro grabs the wooden box from his lap before walking to the elevator. He wipes his hands on his jeans and proceeds as though it was a just another day.

“So, what the fuck happened?”

He raises an eyebrow, “You weren’t listening in the car?”

“Duh, I was a little preoccupied with the whole driving for my life thing.”

“I guess you'll hear it when I tell Papa then.”

The two of you are definitely headed to the top floor of the building to inform Dragos of what has transpired. Pietro is never one for knocking and simply barges into the man’s office.

“Papa, do you have a- Sestra?”

Pietro’s sentence dies in his throat as he gets a glimpse of his older sister. He wastes no time sitting in the wooden box on a couch nearby and scooping up the redhead in a tight hug. You could hear them exchanging more words in their mother language. It’s an unexpectedly tender moment as Pietro tries to keep things on the light side.

Somewhere in the hug Wanda’s eyes land on you and they widen slightly. She untangles herself from her brother to get a good look at you. She’s older, as expected, but age had been more than kind to her. Wanda looks as elegant as ever, an air of distinguish surrounds her.

The way she looks at you makes you feel like a teenager again. You do your best not to squirm under her gaze. When a smile placed itself on her lips, you feel relief washing over you. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she pulls you in to a big hug.

Her hands rise to hold your face, pulling back just slightly. She wants to get a good look at you. The softness of her hands causes you to blush.

“You’ve grown up on me little krolik.”

She releases the hold, and you speak, “You’ve been gone a long time, Wanda.”

There it is, in your voice for the first time in years; That fragile tone that you had only ever allowed Wanda to hear. You hope it didn't sound as desperate to everyone else in the room and it didn't. But Wanda picked up on it instantly.

“I have, but now I'm back; permanently,” Wanda says, keeping her eyes on you.

“And she brought a friend,” Dragos interjects, and you watch Wanda roll her eyes.

“She’s more than a friend Papa, she’s my wife and she’s sitting right here. I expect you to treat her kindly.”

Wanda is married and to a woman. Your mind scrambles to piece together what had happened in the years that she was gone for this to be the case. It is hard for you to digest what the woman had said. Your breathing becomes a little shallow, but no one takes notice.

Finally, you take notice of the other woman in the room, sitting in the chair next to the one Wanda had just been sitting in. Your mouth dries at the sight of her. The woman is stunning. Her auburn hair is a few shades darker than Wanda’s. She has a button nose, soft pink lips and piercing green eyes. You couldn't be mad at Wanda for marrying such a beautiful woman.

“Sestra, you’re married?” Pietro exclaims, looking between the two women dramatically.

“Yes; Y/n, Pietro, this is my wife, Natasha Romanoff.”

Your eyes linger on the woman even when Dragos claps his hands together to get the attention of the room, “Piet you were saying something important. I see that Mr. H didn't get his package.”

Any further pleasantries would have to wait.

“Papa it was a bad deal. They tried short me on our exchange, so I told them they could either bring me the rest of what they owe, or I’d be walking. They planned to take the package from me, so I ran immediately to the car. Of course they chased after me, but thanks to need for speed over here we got away.”

Dragos pinches the bridge of his nose lightly, “Don’t I always say being back up?”

Pietro answers back, “I took Y/n.”

This causes Natasha to chuckle a bit.

Your eyes narrow at her, “Something funny?”

She doesn’t back down, “Well from the way Wanda described you, you don't necessarily scream back up.”

Your jaw clenches slightly and you steal a quick glance at Wanda, “Wanda hasn’t seen me in over 5 years. I’m not that fragile little kid anymore.”

Dragos nods proudly, “Y/n is the biggest asset we have in this organization. She’s by far the glue that holds this all together and I will not tolerate any disrespect thrown her way.” The final part of his sentence carries a lot of weight to it, it’s a verbal warning.

Wanda clears her throat, “Hammerhead is a loyal customer, why would he try to cheat us?”

“He could have a new dealer,” you speak up. “Someone who might be charging less for similar goods.”

“You think someone is dumb enough to try to undercut us?” Pietro questions.

You speak candidly, “I think that people in this city can be greedy, and greed blinds all good sense.”

Dragos clearly agrees, “We need eyes and ears on the streets listening to anything about dealers that aren't us. I need a meeting with Hammerhead to make sure he’s got that big ugly head of his on straight. Y/n if I can't sell this, I'm going to have see a profit of this quantity somewhere else on the sheets.”

“Let Natasha and I come with you to your meeting Papa. I want you to see what we're capable of.”

“Papa, is this woman going to be joining our group?” Pietro asks.

You turn your attention to Dragos, curious of what the man has to say. There is an unbridled shine in Wanda’s eyes and a small upturn of Natasha’s lip. They seem to think that the man would say yes immediately.

Instead, he heavily sighs, “For now Ms. Romanoff is simply Wanda’s… wife. There is a chance that she’ll be given access to join. However, her involvement isn’t guaranteed. So just to be clear, she’s not going to be sitting in on the meeting.”

Wanda wants to fight back, you can tell, but she refrains. The playfulness of her features dissipates as she responds, “Is she at least allowed to stay and watch them work?”

“Y/n do you mind if Ms. Romanoff shadows you for the rest of the day?” You know what Dragos was actually asking of you. He wants you to vet her.

Your eyes land on the woman, staring at her intensely, “Sure.”

She squirms in her seat which makes you smile a bit.

“Pietro,” Dragos starts.

“Eyes & ears I’ve got it Papa,” he’s out of the door fast, setting the plan in motion.

Dragos presses a small button on his desk, “Kate can you set up a meeting between Hammerhead & I. It needs to be as soon as possible. Make it clear that if I’m kept waiting, there will be extra fees to pay. Ones that can't be bought by money.”

“No problem Mr. Maximoff. Should I have Clint get the car ready?” She responds over the intercom.

“That’ll be great, thank you Kate.”

Now it is Wanda who claps her hands, “So I guess it’s time to get to work. Which mean it’s time to say goodbye to my beautiful wife and my little krolik.”

Natasha stands from her seat and places a gentle kiss on Wanda’s lips. “Be safe,” she murmurs, not quite ready to part from her wife.

“I’ll be fine Nat, it’s just business as usual.”

Something about the two women in the same line of sight together made you feel weird. You had seen beautiful couples before, but you seem to be a little mesmerized by the sight of Natasha and Wanda. For now, you would say that it was just the shock of seeing Wanda after all these years and being blindsided by the news of her marriage.

“Have you changed too much to give me a hug before you go?”

The teasing tone in Wanda’s voice makes you roll your eyes. You walk over to her nonetheless, “I hugged you earlier, you know.”

Wanda doesn’t hesitate to pull you into another hug. “I know, but maybe two is too much for the new Y/n.”

You look up at her, maybe for a second too long, and you can’t help yourself, “Don’t worry, part of me is still your little krolik.”

A slight blush paints over her features as she smiles at you, “Good, keep my wife safe, ok?”

Your eyes cut to Natasha, “Of course, I’ll leave you guys to it.”

You walk out of the office with Wanda’s wife trailing closely behind you.  

“So, are you going to show me what makes you the glue?”

Her words make smile tug on the edge of your lips, “If you’re lucky.”

[fandomnerd9602]

Scarlet Delivery

a Scarlet Webs story

Wanda Maximoff x Spider-Man!Reader

Wanda was hyperventilating. Her cell phone was buzzing just waiting for you to pick it up.

“Hello?” You manage to answer.

“Detka, where are you?!” She managed to say in between her hyperventilating breaths.

“Currently…rush hour” you said sticking to the front of a police car. The perp was Mac Gargan. “You shouldn’t worry, baby. I’ll be there.”

“Promise?” Wanda said, tears streaming down her cheek.

“I promise.” A gunshot went off. You narrowly dodged a bullet, “gotta go. Hey! Can’t you see I was taking a phone call!?”

And with that you had to hang up and jump back into the fray. You hated having to do patrol without Wanda. But circumstances had changed the flow and now you were solo again. Nothing changes when you’re the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

Meanwhile, Wanda’s tears were still flowing as a portal opened behind her. And out of the portal comes this universe’s Doctor Stephen Strange.

“It’s time,” he says gesturing for your lovey witch to follow. She does so, all the while hoping that you’d keep your promise.

You land on the hood of Mac Gargan’s stolen vehicle. “License and registration, sir?”

Blam! Another shot goes off, you jump onto the roof of the car. A couple more shots ring out. You dodge each bullet flawlessly.

“Can we wrap this up?” You mockingly whine, “I have prior engagements!”

You web up Mac and yank him out the car, webbing him to a nearby streetlight. The car barrels towards a nearby crosswalk where a little old lady with a Walker is currently trying to cross.

“Of all the times!” You jump onto the hood and spray it with various webs before jumping onto the back and yanking the car back with all your might, bringing the car to a dead halt mere inches from the elderly lady.

You give a quick salute and swing off. You knew the location. You knew where Wanda was gonna be. It was all a piece of cake right?

Well then came the Vulture. He tries to slice at you once, twice. “Not now Toomes! I have some place to be.”

“Yes. The morgue!” He tries slicing at you again. You swing thru Times Square and web the winged foe in a giant spider web.

“Yo! Spidey!” A citizen calls out to you.

“Yeah?”

“Where’s your lady? The Witch?”

“I’m trying to get to her now!” You call out before swinging off again into the city. Why did it have to be on the other end of New York?

You land on a rooftop. You quickly web a couple silk lines to your suit, forming a makeshift pair of wings.

“I’m coming Wanda,” you shoot out two web lines and slingshot yourself across the city. Catching a wind current, you sail thru the open air of the city.

You see your destination: the Sanctum Sanctorum. You dive bomb and land right in front of the building. Wong quickly answers the door.

“How far?” You ask.

“You made it just in time.” He smiles and leads the way. You nearly run the way to the little room.

You run in to find Wanda in a relaxed position, still hyperventilating. Nine months pregnant and she still looked beautiful as ever. Dr Strange was readying his medical scrubs.

“Detka!” Wanda exclaims, tears of joy streaming down her face. You run up to her, kissing her gently.

“I promised I’d be here, right?” You ask with a little smirk. Wanda giggles and kisses you again.

“Okay Wanda,” Strange intones, “it’s time. Now push.”

“Sure you got this, Doc?” You ask.

“It’s not surgery. I’m just catching the babies. I won’t drop them.”

“Drop them and I will kill you” Wanda say through gritted teeth.

“I believe you” Strange answers back. “Now focus and push.”

It ended up taking the rest of the day and into the night but Wanda delivered two healthy baby boys. You and her were so excited.

“My boys,” Wanda said with fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. “Billy. Tommy.”

“They’re amazing,” you kiss the top of Wanda’s head, “thank you baby.”

“Thank you. I love them so much already,” Wanda let out a little tired laugh. She actually had her boys in her arms. This wasn’t some conjured up version of them. This wasn’t some other universe’s version of them. This was them, flesh and blood. She had a loving spouse, two handsome little babies, a nice little home in Queens.

Wanda finally had the life she always wanted. And best yet, she got to have it with you, her Spider Monkey.

Tags: @tokufighter @ma1egamer @jacelion @lifespectator @aloneodi @holiday-house-of-m @family-house-of-m @multi-fandom-enjoyer @iamnicodemus @rroyale-109 @scarletquake-n7 @moonpheus

[upsidedownwithsteve]

Steve Harrington x fem!reader PART ONE [35K] another year at summer camp, more broken kayaks, a change of plans, a lot of wondering. meet us in the afterglow.

Tell me that you're still mine

The drive was the same, if not quieter. 

The roads hadn’t changed and maybe the trees were taller, the sun was still too bright, too warm, a little mocking considering your mood. Your car was still shit and it still protested when you took corners too quickly. 

The sign welcoming you into the forest was the same, a little weather worn, familiar and like home. The car park was emptier than usual, but then again, you’d never arrived this early before. Robin was by a delivery truck, hat on backwards despite the way she squinted into the sun to see you roll to a stop. 

She grinned, waving but you saw the confusion there and your stomach dropped and twisted, that same awful feeling that had sat in the pit of your stomach for the last month. 

Camp Upside Down seemed far too quiet when you finally opened the car door and set a foot on the old pine needles. Like something was missing. 

“Hey,” Robin rushed in with a hug, warm and sweet. “You’re here early.” She gave that same frown, lips set into a confused smile as she looked through your windscreen, at the empty passenger seat. “Where’s Steve?”

You swallowed, the pit in your stomach opening up into a yawning thing, a wide open canyon that swallowed everything nice. It rolled, a storm between two cliffs and it made your bones ache. Acid touched your tongue and it only burned more when you tried to push it back down. 

“Uh,” your voice broke, just a little, enough for Robin's eyes to widen. “We broke up.”

——————

“What happened?”

Robin hadn’t wasted much time, closing your car door for you before taking you by the hand. Your bags were left in the trunk and neither of you looked at Hopper’s office cabin, eyes set ahead as you let the girl lead you through the trees. 

The paths were the same, worn down and more dirt than gravel, and they twisted through the oak trees in a way you knew like the back of your hand. The lake was on your left, eerily still, the kayaks stacked to the side. Nausea rolled in your stomach like waves. 

“I— we— fuck,” you were laughing, a wrecked, desperate sort of noise that didn’t match the way your eyes were watering and Robin looked back at you, more serious than you’d ever seen her. 

“C’mon,” she murmured, squeezing your hand. She walked a little quicker, down the path and past a fallen log, through the empty cabins that would be bursting with kids and noise and laughter in two days. “Almost there.”

She already had keys to your cabin, the door opened to air it out, the familiar smell of pine hidden under the mustiness of the last year. There were faded outlines on the walls, marks from sticky tape that would never come off, a reminder of the photos and the postcards that lived there over summer. 

You knew if you pulled out your bedside table, there would be etchings on the back of it, lines made from a penknife that wasn’t yours, a name next to your own, a heart drawn around the letters. 

The cabin you’d spent five years in suddenly didn’t feel like yours anymore. 

But then Robin had you by the shoulders and she looked so worried, brows drawn together and you wondered if you counted the freckles on her nose, that maybe you could stall the conversation that was about to happen. She drew a finger over your cheek instead, catching a tear you didn't know was there. 

“Tell me everything.”

[AFTERGLOW BY TAYLOR SWIFT]

You’d know something was wrong when Steve had called you. 

It had been late enough that when he asked you to come over, you’d frowned and made a joke about a booty call. But the boy hadn’t laughed and he didn’t answer when you asked what was going on. 

So you made an excuse to your parents and said you wouldn’t be too late, slipping out the front door in your pyjama shorts and a camp sweatshirt that had Steve’s name stitched on the front. Your bare feet were stuffed in your sneakers, uncomfortable and too cold despite the way the weather in Hawkins was starting to warm up. Your car grumbled as you drove to Steve’s like it knew something, like it was warning you.  

Steve met you in the driveway, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, his hair messier than normal, like he’d been running his hands through it. When you killed the engine and smiled at him through the windscreen, he smiled back, but it wasn’t the same. 

Something was wrong. 

“Hey,” you’d greeted him warily, hands out to reach him, pushing on your toes to kiss his cheek. 

He’d caught you off guard when he turned, your lips skimming over his skin until his mouth met yours with a neediness you hadn’t expected. His nose was a hard press to your cheek, his hand squeezing yours like he was scared you’d disappear, his breath mixing with your kiss in a huff that seemed full of an emotion you really couldn’t place. 

“Steve?” You whispered when he eventually pulled back, gaze heavy and brows knitted together. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

He tugged gently on your hand then, taking a step back. “Let’s go sit out back, yeah?”

The lights that came through the Harrington’s kitchen windows let you know his parents were home, an abandoned dinner left on the dining table, half eaten but the wine glasses were empty. You let Steve lead you to the sunloungers, dusted off and taken out of the pool house for the start of summer, the newly cleaned pool pouring out heat and the smell of chlorine, steam swirling in the evening air.  

The sky was lilac, a violet kind of twilight that made the first of the fireflies linger at the edge of Steve’s backyard fence, right by the treeline. The hum of the pool generator was the only sound and it set you on edge. 

“Steve, what’s wrong?” Your voice came out a little weak, anxiousness creeping up your chest and neck in a dangerous heat, the kind that prickled your skin and made your throat feel too tight. 

The boy was sitting across from you, your knees bumping his between the loungers, both of your hands clasped tightly together in your own laps. You wanted to reach out to him, but something told you that you couldn’t, not like you used to. 

You’d only seen him last night. A kiss against the side of your car, his knuckles under your chin, sweeping your jaw as you both laughed into open mouths, whispering about how his parents were due back from the airport any minute, how’d they’d catch you both in their drive, lovesick and melted together. 

What had happened?

You watched Steve blow out a breath, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he pushed himself to speak. “Uh, my dad got me a scholarship.”

You blinked. “What?”

Steve cleared his throat, his voice rough, like he’d been yelling, like he’d been crying. He leaned back, hands pushed into fists on the seat cushions. “Yeah, my dad came back and told me he’d gotten me into a Finance course. Full ride.” Steve barked out a laugh, like he didn’t believe it. 

“What?” You couldn’t help repeating yourself, brows stitched together in confusion. “Finance? That’s— that’s not what you wanted— wait, how?”

Steve made a face, nose wrinkled and he stared at the ground. He shrugged. “He had an old colleague that knew the Dean. He pulled some strings, I guess.”

Your stomach dropped and lurched. A sardonic laugh crept up your throat that you tried to tame, a choked splutter coming out instead. You shook your head. “You mean he flashed his wallet.”

Steve groaned, his hand running through his hair, making more of a mess of it. “Babe—” 

“Are you doing it? Finance? Steve, that’s, that’s the last thing that interests you! Why are you even telling me this? You can’t be serious. Tell me you’re not serious?”

Steve dropped his chin to his chest, eyes closing. He looked like he was in pain. “It’s in Arizona.”

You’d always heard the expression, of someone’s blood running cold. You’d thought it silly, a weird and twisted exaggeration. Up until now, anyway. Your body turned icy, a sharp chill that ran through you and it made your bones feel brittle, delicate enough to splinter. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. 

“Arizona?” You mumbled it, a clumsy thing in your mouth that didn’t seem like a real word, too bulky to wrap your tongue around. “Steve—?”

“The scholarship is for Arizona State.” 

The fireflies on the edge of the yard had gone and the purple skies were inkier, too big above you and despite the lack of clouds, you still couldn’t see any stars. Your throat was getting tighter. 

“Arizona? Arizona. Steve, that’s, fuck, that’s the other side of the country. What? You’re not actually considering going, are you?”

“Princess,” he said it without his usual warmth, the affection still there but Steve sounded tired, drained. “It’s paid for. It’s all - shit - my dad’s organised all of it.”

You laughed then, an awful, bitter, nasty sounding thing but it was only to cover up the fact that you were ready to cry. Tears pricked hot in the corners of your eyes and your voice was sharp, biting. “So, what? Daddy’s decided then, yeah? That’s it?”

Steve flinched before straightening up, shoulders rolling as he prepared himself for the fight he knew was coming. You pretended not to see that his eyes were glassy too, matching yours. 

“It’s a good opportunity, alright? I can—”

“Bullshit, Steve!” You snapped, rising to your feet because you couldn’t sit there and listen to what was about to leave your boyfriend's lips. “Don’t feed me the same lecture your dad drilled into you, okay? This can’t be what you want. No, I know this isn’t what you want!”

“What am I supposed to do, huh?” Steve’s voice got a little louder, taking over the hum of the pool, the insects that were buzzing from the bushes. “Turn it down? Spend the rest of my life in this shitty town, wondering what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing? Hoping that one day, maybe Keith will be kind enough to promote me to weekend supervisor?”

“I don’t know!” You were pacing, moving away from Steve to walk circles around the loungers, your gaze hardening when you saw his mother at a window, the curtains quickly drawn. “I don’t know, okay? But we were supposed to figure it out, we were supposed to do it together.”

You broke then, a hiccup breaking from your throat that turned into a sob that not even your palm could muffle. Your breath stuttered into your hand and the tears fell hot and fast, salt gathering between your fingers. Steve crumbled, shoulders dropping he was in front of you, hands reaching around your wrist to pull it away. 

“Shit, princess, no, no, I know,” Steve blinked, water gathering at his lash line, turning you blurry, the pool a mosaic of blue and white. “C’mon, come here.”

He had you sitting again, nudging himself into the space between your legs, kneeling in front of the sunlounger. His thumbs were frantically trying to catch your tears, his hands cradling your face as he made soft noises, hushing you, soothing you. 

“We still can, alright? Listen, baby, listen,” Steve seemed a little frantic now, wide eyed as he tried to calm you, hands cupping your jaw, thumbs stroking under your reddened eyes. “You can come too, we can work something out, we can get a place and—”

“What?” You squinted at the boy, confused. “Steve, I don’t want to move to Arizona. There’s nothing in Arizona! Not for me, not for us! My, my family is here, my job is here, fuck, we were saving up, we were gonna move and get our own place.” The tears were falling again, breath catching in your throat and panic clawed at you, vicious and unrelenting. “A place somewhere pretty, remember? Somewhere by a lake, with— with mountains and a huge garden—”

You broke off as Steve cursed, sniffing and only letting go of you to swipe at his own cheek, doing his best to pretend that he wasn’t crying too. 

“You don’t have to go,” you let your forehead drop to his shoulder, face pressed to his chest where it smelled like his cologne, like mint and cedar and home. “You don’t have to leave.”

A splash hit your head, warm, another following when Steve let his face hide in your hair. Tears. “I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave you.”

“Then don’t.”

“I have to go.” Steve sounded broken, breath ragged and voice cracking. You didn’t dare look up at him. Not yet. “My dad— my parents. They said if I’m not getting myself an education, then I gotta find myself a place to stay.”

You moved them, head ripping back so you could stare at the boy, anger crawling up your chest. It simmered, a burning heat that felt almost unrecognisable. “Then leave, fuck, Steve, babe— you don’t have to sit and be blackmailed into this!”

Steve swiped at his face, broken down and tired, the bags under his eyes becoming more obvious as the evening grew into night and the pool lights sharpened his features. “It doesn’t work like that. Where am I gonna go, huh? We haven’t saved nearly enough, not for a deposit on some shitty apartment, never mind anything else. It’s just— Arizona… it’s the only solution right now.”

You shook your head, face crumpling and you tried not to cry again, but it was no use. Your cheeks felt too hot, vision blurring as you watched Steve sit back onto the other lounger, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. 

“You can stay with me,” you sniffed, voice a thick thing, bubbling and sticky with sorrow. This wasn’t happening. This was a bad dream. That’s all. “You can move in with us, until we save. We’ll work something out.”

Steve let out a huff of laughter, sad and a little mean. It landed on the patio between you both and you watched him shake his head. “You know that’s not realistic,” he swore under his breath, lip trembling. “Baby, I want to make this work, I do, but your parents— and you have your aunt staying with you all, and it’s just… it’s not gonna work.”

It felt final, the way he said it. 

You stood again, shooting to your feet as if suddenly the idea of sitting too close to the boy was causing you pain. Maybe it was. 

“So that’s it?” You laughed through your tears, a sharp, pitched noise that didn’t sound like it was coming from you. You sounded mean, cruel. You couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop. “Daddy just writes a check and you jump? He has your future planned out for you and you just… go along with it?”

“That’s not—” Steve’s eyes flashed, dangerous. A warning you took no heed of. 

“Yes it is, Steve! That’s exactly what’s happening! Fuck me, right? Fuck us?”

Steve reached for you, a hand trying to catch yours but you moved back, head shaking, eyes wide. “You don’t want to study Finance, you don’t want to move to Arizona. But you’re going to ‘cause your dad is a fucking bully and he’s somehow convinced you that you need a piece of paper and some letters by your name to make you a man.”

Steve grinned, a flash of his teeth more than a smile, and he stared right past you, jaw flexed. You hadn’t argued with the boy like this before. Biting remarks and cruel words sure, but not in such a serious way. Not about something that could end you both. 

“You think you know?” Steve shot back, “you think you’ve got it all worked out? What am I supposed to do, huh? Yeah, he’s an asshole, but he’s still my dad, princess. He’s, fuck, he’s trying to help, okay? Am I just supposed to stay in this same town and save and save and save until maybe, just maybe! We hit forty and we can leave? Having a college degree will help me. It will. Finance, I don’t know—it’ll at least get me a good job.. One that’ll pay well.”

“That’s your dad talking,” you told him, voice impossibly sad. “None of that ever mattered to you.”

Steve didn’t listen. “This is what’s best, alright?”

“No, it’s not, Jesus, Steve, just listen to me!”

“If— if you don’t wanna move, we can do long distance. I’ll visit, you can come on holidays, we’ll make it work.” Steve sounded as panicked as you felt, talking too fast, like he could fix it if he just kept throwing out suggestions. “It’ll be okay.”

Another sob ripped from you as you spun away from him, head tipped to the sky as you tried your best not to yell. Frustration leaked through the cracks of your anger. “I’m not letting your dad dictate our future.” 

Steve paused, breath caught in his throat. You heard him step closer before he stilled. “What?”

You closed your eyes as you spoke, like it would help. Maybe it would hurt less. “I’m not letting your dad decide our lives. Not mine, anyway.” You turned, watching Steve turn blurry from your tears. His cheeks were pink, eyes glassy, his bottom lip still trembling. “You want to be apart? For what, four years?” You hiccuped, sniffed. “Steve, please don’t go. Don’t go. Not for something you don’t want to do.”

The boy took your hand, clasping it tight as it hung from his in the space between you both. It felt huge, the distance, a wide open thing. 

“Tell me you want to do this and I’ll support you, I swear,” you told him, choked up but determined. “Tell me you’ve always wanted to study Finance, tell me you’ve always wondered what it’d be like to live in Arizona and get a job at a desk where you punch numbers onto a screen. Tell me all that and I’ll support you the whole way. Tell me this is what you want, not what your dad wants.”

Steve was silent. His cheeks were damp. It was the seventh grade science fair all over again. 

“When do you leave?” You whispered. 

He let go of your hand. 

“August.”

He watched you turn to your car, a five second delay as he realised you were walking away, away from him. Steve chased you across the drive as his parents watched from a crack in the living room curtain, shouting your name with a choked up voice, panic making his words crack and break. 

He held you in the driveway, your arms wrapped around each other uncomfortably tight, an alarming fear in the air around you both. It felt awful, heavy, like the end of something that wasn’t yet finished. So you tried again, tears running down your cheeks, pouring openly as you begged, asking him to stay, to try with you, promising him it would all work out and this wasn’t the life that he wanted, you knew that, Steve knew that. 

Didn’t he? Right? Right?

But the boy was shaking his head, swiping a hand meanly over his eyes as he brushed away his own tears, trying his best to get you to understand that he didn’t have a choice. He dropped his voice, an agitated whisper as he hissed about families and business, expectations and being written out of wills, written out of a family name, how money was supposed to equal happiness, and maybe his dad was right, maybe he needed to get a job that required a suit and tie, and maybe - just maybe - he could live a life like his parents. Money in the bank, a big house, a fat cheque every month. 

That’s what being a Harrington was, right?

Right?

You sniffed, lip quivering, brows raised and your voice mean. “Yeah? Is that what you want, Steve?” You stepped back, a hand on your car door. “You want to be just like your dad? Get the briefcase and the business cards and fly out of town every week? Maybe you’ll pick up a trophy wife in Arizona, huh? Then find a girlfriend in another state and hope your kids don’t find out? Flash your wallet and make problems go away? Have a son and make him feel as shitty and empty as you do?”

Steve was silent. And then, an ugly smile, a smirk that was cold and a little dead. “Sure, princess, that’s exactly what I fucking want. And hey, fuck, maybe I don’t have a choice in this, but at least I’m getting out of this town. Can you say the same? Weren’t you supposed to be saving for college too, princess? What happened to that, huh? Reality is real ugly, isn’t it?”

“Fuck you,” you laughed, angry and sad and in no way amused. “We were supposed to get out together.”

“I told you to come with me!” Steve barked out, sharp, an almost yell. You tried not to flinch. “Fuck, god, you could come with me… we could do this together.”

“It’s not together! Jesus, Steve, can’t you see that?” You were beyond frustrated, hands balled into fists by your sides before they flew up to grab at your head. You were in disbelief. Was this happening? This was happening. “None of this is us! Not for us, not planned by us, not wanted by us! This is all planned by him!” Your hand shot out to the front door of the Harrington’s house, grand and regal and dark behind the window. “He’s dictating it all, throwing money and hoping it lands, just so he can say his son went to college!”

Steve was stone faced, eyes on the tarmac drive.

“I don’t care if you go to college,” you whispered, watery. “I just want you to be happy.” 

‘I want you to stay with me.’ You didn’t say it. 

Steve didn’t answer but you saw his shoulders shake, miniscule, and then the streetlight caught the tear rolling down his cheek, flashing. He didn’t stop you when you got into your car and drove away. 

—————

Robin was wide eyed when you finished, kneeling on your unmade bed with you, the sheets folded and sitting at the foot of it. Her hand was still holding yours, fingers twisted together, her thumb running over your palm. She sucked in a breath. 

“Shit.”

“Shit,” you agreed. 

“So it’s over?” Robin asked, letting go of your hand when you flopped backwards, head hitting the pillow. Your own one was still in the backseat of your car, a brand new pillowcase on it ‘cause the old one somehow still smelled like Steve. “That’s it?”

You shrugged, staring at the ceiling until the beams of wood blurred together and you sniffed. “I guess, yeah.”  

Robin nudged you, crawling up the mattress until you shifted, leaving enough space for her to lie next to you on the narrow bed. You were shoulder to shoulder, head sharing the same pillow and you could smell her sunscreen, the lemon and lavender perfume she always wore. You turned into her, nose pressed to her shoulder, revelling in the comfort it brought. 

“When did this happen? How long has it been?” 

“Three weeks,” you mumbled into her shirt, the corners of your eyes stinging again, tears making your throat thick. You were shocked you had more in you, all you had done since that night was cry. “Feels like it’s been a fucking year.”

“And you haven’t spoken since? Is he definitely going? Fuck, I can’t— Arizona?”

“Fucking Arizona,” you agreed, sighing. “I tried to call him the night after. His dad answered, said he was in the shower and he’d tell him I rang.” You sniffed again, pressing the heel of your palm to your sore eyes. “He never called me back.”

“Dude,” Robin sounded morose, your pain now her pain and she dropped her head on top of yours. A small comfort, considering. 

“Dude,” you agreed. You sighed, world weary and already tired, despite only being awake for four hours. “Do you think I blew it out of proportion? Was I too harsh?”

Robin opened her mouth to answer, and then closed it again, thinking it over before she spoke. She smacked a kiss to your forehead before talking, her voice soft and more gentle than usual. 

“I think you’re totally right. Steve doesn’t wanna study finance, or go to Arizona. Shit, he once thought Dustin’s pocket calculator was some kind of gaming console. But I know he struggles with his dad.” Robin sucked in a breath, wary. “And I know his dad is a certified asshole, but that little scrawny version of Steve at the science fair? He's still there, y’know? And he probably still wants to make his dad proud.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I know. I just don’t get why.”

Robin shrugged. “Me neither, but that’s on growing up with somewhat normal parents, I guess. I know he loves you though. A lot. Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

You were openly crying now, tears soaking Robin’s shirt sleeve, but she didn’t seem to mind. Her lips were against your hair when she mumbled, “You don’t wanna go to Arizona with him?” 

You sat up, chest heaving, hands swiping clumsily at your face to rid yourself of your damp cheeks, your swollen eyes. Your breath stuttered, a gasping, awful sound because it hurt being told that Steve loved you. It ached to be reminded. “No.” You were final about it, voice softening only when you continued. “Fuck, I thought I’d follow him anywhere you know? We were saving up, working stupid shifts and we had this stupid map and— and I would laugh at him ‘cause he’d circle these weird places no one had heard of, said we’d buy a house there and get a dog and… if I move to Arizona with him, we’re just starting a life that’s going to be dictated by his dad.”

Robin looked sad as she gazed at you, listening quietly, her feet resting against your knees as she curled up by the headboard. She nodded, knowing. 

“Because Steve will graduate, right? And then his dad will be the one to set him up with interviews and jobs, and fuck, maybe this new Steve will even join the family business - which, by the way, I know he doesn’t wanna do.” You sucked in a breath, wide eyed at the possibility of this kind of future. “We won’t get a dog, ‘cause his mom says animals don’t belong in a house, and I’ll be left at home to press all his suits, with like, six kids that all look like the husband I don’t even get to see anymore, because he’ll be on business trips with his dad and dudes called Tony and Chase and he’ll meet a girl with a name like Britney, and you just know she was head cheerleader when she was in college and—”

You were cut off abruptly, Robin’s hands pressed to your cheeks, squishing them a little as she stared at you, concern in her eyes. “Babe. Breathe.”

You blew out a shaky breath and tried to smile, but it was watery and weak. “So what’s been happening with you?” You tried to joke. 

—————

The rest of the staff arrived in drips, Eddie’s van parked dangerously close to Billy’s shiny Camaro, Eddie cackling and flipping the other boy off when he snarled obscenities about his paintwork. Nancy and Robin had picked up Chrissy on the way, Argyle following in a new VW bug, sunflower yellow with giant, green plants painted on the side that he told Murray, ‘s’just nature, my dude.’

 There wasn’t any sign of a maroon BMW. 

And then eleven o’clock came and everyone had to pile into Hopper’s cabin. The man was sitting behind his desk as usual, already looking tired as he watched you all trail in, taking up too much space. You’d managed to squeeze yourself on the old sofa between Robin and Nancy when the door opened at the last minute. Eddie trailed in with a guilty smile, another boy behind him. 

Steve.  

You felt Robin tense beside you, patting your knee when you slouched into the couch cushions a little further. The soft smile Eddie sent you as he passed told you that he knew everything too. 

The two boys sat across the room, perching on the windowsill and Steve didn’t look at you. In fact, he didn’t look anywhere but the old carpet, his hands shoved in his pockets. He looked as tired as you felt. His hair was a mess, like the wind had caught it, one curl sticking up from his forehead and you wanted to reach out and fix it for him, stand between his legs and let him touch you, let him give you a kiss as thanks. 

Fuck.

Everyone shuffled awkwardly, glancing from you to Steve and back again, each staff member wondering why you weren’t sitting together like you normally would. Even Murray was frowning, holding an open bag of trail mix, peering at you over his glasses. You looked away. 

“Okay, welcome back, glad to see some of you have managed to avoid jail time for another summer. Congrats!” Hopper stood with his clipboard, shooting a glance at Eddie, who grinned, smug. “You all know the drill by now, so let’s get into it. I’ve got a five ton delivery of Lucky Charms that nobody asked for to deal with.”

Murray took front and centre then, busying himself with paperwork and staff files. “Okay you bunch of delinquents, look alive, roll call!”

It went like it always did, Murray listing off familiar names, assigning them back to their usual stations, reminding them that they needed to hand in their up to date first aid certificates and that staff uniform was mandatory and not a matter of opinion. 

Billy, lifeguard duties. Robin, kitchens with Bob. Jonathan, photography - and if he had time, could he help Hopper work on the website design for the new summer? Argyle, wood shop. Nancy, crafts and more time in the office with Joyce, so she can learn the ropes with admin stuff. Jason, lake games. Chrissy, gymnastics. 

“Edward,” Murray announced, turning to hand the boy some sign up sheets. “Music. We’ve moved you to a bigger cabin for your lessons this year, we got way more sign ups than anticipated. Keep it up.” Murray clicked his finger and pointed at the boy, like he’d almost forgotten something. “Oh, and tell your girl we’re all proud of her. An architectural internship in Philadelphia is no small feat.”

Eddie grinned, chest puffed out, cheeks pink and looking full of pride. “Right?” He agreed. “She’s gonna be running her own firm in no time.”

“Harrington, Hawkins, you’re both on games—”

You couldn’t help it, it rose up like panic, acidic and bitter, bile in the back of your throat. “Can I be placed somewhere else?”

Everyone stared. Murray choked on a piece of trail mix, a too big pumpkin seed that hit the wall near Argyle. 

Your eyes met Steve’s and you saw the flinch of hurt there before his brown eyes hardened and his jaw tensed. He stared hard at the floor, toeing at the carpet. 

Murray looked confused, scanning the list of staff members to see if it were possible, but Hopper interrupted, frowning. He was gruff about it, gesturing to the schedules in the other man’s hands. “These have been written for weeks kid, we’re not fucking about ‘cause of a lovers tiff, we’re all adults here—”

“Actually,” Murray interrupted, gaze flicking from you to Steve and back again. He levelled you with a stare that looked like a challenge, a dare, a question. Like he was testing you. “We could do with someone else on the lake this year. More kids. You’ve been on life guarding duties before, right?”

Oh shit. You nodded. 

Beside you, Robin exhaled, a curse under it as she pulled her cap down low, hiding under the brim of it. Across the room, Nancy stared at you, wide eyed. “What’re you doing?” She mouthed. 

“Up to date on first aid? CPR?” Murray continued, ignoring the tension in the room. 

You could hear a pin drop. “Yeah,” you muttered. 

Eddie swore. 

“Great!” Murray was too cheerful, whacking his pen off of the clipboard. “Congrats, Hargrove, you’ve got a buddy for the summer.”

It was awful, the way your stomach sank, the way Billy cackled, white teeth flashing as he made a show of looking you up and down. It was gut wrenching, the way Robin looked at you with sympathy, the way Steve was tugging a hand through his hair and looking anywhere but at you. 

Everyone filed out, back into the sun, collecting new staff shirts and sets of keys for the gym, the music room, storage cabins and equipment cages. Hopper held up a hand to stop you, gesturing to the couch. You sat back down, heart racing as he did the same to Steve, not speaking until the last person had left. 

The jar was still on his desk, sticky label over sticky label, each one with a new name on it, everything from ‘kayak money’ to ‘therapy cash’ a scribbled out note from Eddie that said ‘lovebird fundz.’ Your stomach tumbled over, a sticky, hot nausea creeping over you when Steve sat down too, right up against the other side of the sofa. 

Hopper leaned against his desk, already looking world weary. He sighed, running a finger and thumb over his moustache before pointing at the obvious space between you both. “Listen, I don’t make a habit of getting into my employees personal lives, and I don’t need to know what happened but—”

“I’d be interested in hearing, actually,” Murray interrupted. 

Hopper ignored him. “All I wanna know is that you’ll be working together like professionals, when the situation calls for it, alright? No funny business. No arguing. No fighting. No breaking anymore of my goddamn kayaks.”

Steve was picking at a loose thread on the hem of his t-shirt and you were staring at your nail beds but when the man cleared his throat, sharp and jarring, you both nodded. 

“Good.” Hopper nodded, “get going then, get settled and all that. I don’t wanna hear any trouble.” The man made a point of glancing at the empty jar on his desk, a fresh piece of tape on the front, yet to be labelled. 

It took two seconds for Steve to round on you, your shoes barely hitting the grass outside, Eddie, Nancy and Robin bearing witness to the explosion. They stood off to the side, sat balancing on the porch railing of the medical cabin, pretending they couldn’t hear. 

So Steve made sure his voice was loud enough to reach. “Really?” He all but yelled, “lake duties, huh? A summer with Billy fucking Hargrove? That’s what you’d rather deal with than me?”

You were quick to fire back, a familiar fuse lit inside of you as you snapped, eyes flashing as you went toe to toe with Steve. It made your heart hurt, knowing this argument was going to end without a kiss. “Oh, grow up, Steve! You really wanna spend all summer with me? Wanna hold hands and tell me all about Arizona? Show me your class schedule and talk about the weather there?”

The words were nasty tasting as they left your tongue, metallic and coated in invisible armour, meant to protect you more than hurt the boy. But it did the latter more than the first, Steve’s jaw clenching as he stared at you. 

‘You didn’t call me back,’ you wanted to say. You wanted to yell it, sob it. ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’

“I’ve to grow up? That’s real cute, princess, you’re not even gonna try and be civil about this? Go back to being friends?”

You wanted to laugh at that, but the tightness in your chest might’ve been tears and you weren’t willing to let those out in front of Steve. You couldn’t stop. Poison dripping from your tongue, costing your teeth, sharp and barbed. You just kept talking. “Yeah, like we were friends before.”

Steve scoffed, nodding. “You’re right. We were never friends, were we?” He backed away, his eyes trailing over you like a reflex, like he couldn’t help it even now. “Have fun with Hargrove, princess, enjoy your summer.” He stalked off, sunlight hitting off his shoulders, making his hair turn auburn. Eddie jumped off the railing to trail after him, both boys heading towards the lake as Eddie sent you a regretful look over his shoulder. 

Nancy and Robin approached as you did your best to even out your breaths, a pain catching between your ribs that felt all too familiar, an ache that had lived weeks for weeks now. It had wrapped around your heart like weeds, vines with thorns, squeezing at you until you wanted to cry. You sniffed, head ducked from your friends view. 

Someone’s hand pressed between your shoulder blades and you looked up to see Nancy, a sad smile there. “I’m supposed to be working on the cabin groupings, but, uh,” she raised her brows at Robin, “I have a couple of bottles of wine hidden in Jonathan’s trunk. Why don’t we grab a few and pretend we’re not on the clock…”

You nodded, pretending there weren’t tears nipping at your eyes as you watched Steve’s retreating figure, the boy kicking angrily at a rock on the ground. 

Tell me that we'll be just fine

You didn’t see Steve again before the kids arrived. 

The two days before the official start of camp were spent hauling out the equipment, dusting off crash mats and kayaks, pumping up the sad, deflated balls and hoping to god the old dock would last another year. The June weather came with the usual force, blue skies, cloudless after sunrise, burning away with the morning haze until all that was left was an endless heat that lingered into the night. 

Camp Upside Down without the kids was fireflies by the shoreline, feet in the lake after lunch, breakfasts in your cabin, stolen banana muffins and fresh peaches, music that toed the line of too loud before bed. 

It still felt like home. But it was a house with a room missing. Steve’s lack of presence hurting like an open wound. You caught glimpses of him here and there, between the trees, on the edge of the lake, helping Eddie lug amps and drum kits from one cabin to another. 

Jealousy flared when you saw him talking to Chrissy outside the gym, a friendly distance between them both but it twisted in your stomach like a knot, sickly and unwelcome. Robin had dragged you away by your elbow, telling you that you were being stupid and, shouldn’t you go talk to him?

“If he wanted to talk, he would’ve called me back, remember?” You reminded her sullenly, walking towards the middle of camp together to prepare for the hoards of buses and cars that were soon to flood in. 

You stopped talking as you joined the cluster of staff members at the unlit fire, the unofficial heart of the camp. The logs were already arranged around the pit, ready for s’mores and stories. Steve was standing between Eddie and Jonathan, staff shirt sunbleached and loose around his frame, his jeans cuffed at the ankles to get some relief from the morning warmth that would only climb higher. 

Chrissy was with them, ponytail bobbing animatedly, smiling too pretty. You’d never had a problem with the girl before, in fact, you’d even call her a friend. But she reached out and slapped playfully at Steve’s arm when she laughed at something he said, and suddenly you were wondering how deep the lake was. 

Maybe Steve would sense that you were staring, maybe he still knew when you were near, ‘cause his head shot up and his gaze found yours immediately. He didn’t look away and neither did you, but he frowned when you lifted your chin, defiant. 

“Hey, uh,” Nancy appeared by your side, looking uncomfortable as she said, “you know you’re wearing his sweater, right?”

“What?” You looked down, the forest green sweater suddenly swamping you as you realised it definitely wasn’t your own. Steve’s name was stitched on the front, small and neat across your heart. You felt your cheeks burn. “Oh, for fuck sake.”

That’s how you ended up arguing via the kids, the campers arriving in a flurry of colour and noise, yelling about lost rucksacks and the youngest crying as their parents drove away, consoled by Joyce and some animal crackers. 

Max Mayfield found you in the midst of the chaos, tapping your shoulder as you turned around with your clipboard, interrupted from taking note of Will Byers new allergy medication. 

She was holding Steve’s sweater, looking at you unimpressed. “He said he doesn’t want it,” she sighed, already bored of the back and forth. 

“What?” You squinted at her, disgruntled and confused as to how Steve could reject his own sweater. “Why?”

The redhead rolled her eyes, shrugging. “I don’t know! He said that you should keep it.”

Panicked, you shook your head, coaxing the girl back into the crowd. “No, nuhuh, tell him I don’t want it. Lucas, hey, Sinclair!” You waved down the boy, confiscating the slingshot that was sticking out of his pocket as you did. “Go with Max, it’s important.”

And while you got rid of two kids, another came barrelling from out of nowhere, arms wrapped around your waist. You caught the attacker with an ‘oomph,’ your hand on the back of a familiar head of curly hair. Dustin Henderson stared up at you, a little taller than last year, but eyes just as innocent and earnest. 

“Is it true?” He whispered, shell shocked. “Steve said—”

You groaned quietly, eyes closing briefly because this was exactly what you didn’t want. You nodded, smiled tight and tried to look sympathetic, patting at his head. “Yeah, listen, it’s just—”

“I’m a child of divorce!” He wailed, interrupting whatever explanation you were about to give him and garnering far too much attention from bystanders. 

Before you could peel Dustin off of you, Max and Lucas reappeared once more, Steve’s sweater still with them. You sighed, wondering if this was how the entire summer was going to feel. 

“Yeah, he won’t take it,” Lucas explained and you groaned when Max tossed it over your shoulder. You hadn’t worn it since the night you’d walked away from him, throwing it in your case instead of yours, an accidental nightmare. It still smelled like Steve, you weren’t sure how you hadn’t noticed before. “Steve says he doesn’t want it.”

Over the heads of the kids, you found Steve, uncharacteristically stone faced as he listened to something Joyce was saying. He was nodding, not really listening, ‘cause his eyes were on you and he watched you take the sweater off your shoulder. You couldn’t bring yourself to let it drop to the forest floor, you just couldn’t. So you tied it around your waist and tried to pretend it wasn’t there. 

—————

[WORK SONG BY HOZIER]

Eddie found you bright and early on the dock the next morning, a carton of orange juice offered. 

You smiled and said your thanks, knocking shoulders with him as he stood next to you, the water lapping at the old planks, the sun making the sky tangerine. “Her majesty has risen early,” he quipped, not looking at you as you both pierced your straws through the little carton. “Can’t sleep?”

You shrugged, staring out at the lake, hoping the day would be quick so you could fall back into bed. You craved sleep, longed for your head to hit your pillow each night in the hopes that you wouldn’t dream about a summer before where you could spend it with Steve. It hurt more waking up in a place so familiar, so important to what you once had with the boy. 

“You could say that.” You smiled, but there wasn’t any humour behind it. You could feel Eddie watching you from behind his curls, big brown eyes earnest, worry rolling off of him in waves. “How’re you, Eddie? How’s your girlfriend? Missin’ her yet?”

Distract distract distract. 

The boy nodded, sucking noisily from his juice box, citrus in the air. “I’m good, yeah - we’re good,” he added. “Got an apartment downtown together, we’re getting by. Hop let me use the phone yesterday, let her know if arrived, y’know? She’s doing good…”

Eddie nudged you again, an affectionate touch. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, your throat too tight. So you bit down on your straw and waited until the carton was empty, orange juice tasting too bitter against the toothpaste still on your tongue. “Yeah,” you sounded tired. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, sweetheart,” Eddie said kindly, his voice still quiet, matching the morning. “You volunteered to spend the summer side by side with Hargrove, I don’t think you gotta lie to anyone.”

You blinked, not surprised when tears blurred your vision. The sky melted into the lake, white-blue into peach, pink clouds nothing more than cotton candy, the lake reflecting it all back. “It would just suck, you know?” You explained, whispering. “To be with him all day and not—” 

Touch him, kiss him, hold him. 

You swallowed, the motion a struggle. “—it just, it would hurt. And I don’t want it to hurt any more than it already does, so…”

Eddie didn’t say anything, not right away. But he let his free hand drop between you both, covering your own. His fingers didn’t twist between yours the way Steve’s did and his rings were cold against your skin. It didn’t make your stomach summersault and there wasn’t a scar on the back of his hand when your thumb touched it, but it was nice all the same. 

Kind, caring. Worried. 

“He’s hurting too, you know,” Eddie murmured, fingers squeezing gently around yours. “I know you’re mad at him, that you hate he’s leaving—”

You bit down on your lip at that, hard enough to taste metal, glassy eyed and turning to Eddie. You shook your head, suddenly feeling a little manic. “No, no, fuck,” you sucked in a breath, trying not to cry. “Well, yeah, I hate that he’s leaving but— Eddie, shit, it’s his dad. He’s letting his dad decide his future and he’s doing everything he used to say he hated and- and I don’t know why.”

Eddie’s brows knitted together as he watched your lip tremble and he nodded, scrubbing the hand that held his squished juice box over his face. “I know,” he admitted, “I know. I asked him, but he’s just talkin’ bullshit. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. Says it’s best for him, or some shit, keeps talkin’ ‘bout six figure salaries and, well, fuck if I know.”

“S’like he’s been brainwashed,” you mumbled, feeling very much like one of the younger campers as you said it, juicebox in hand. You wanted to stomp your feet and cry, you wanted to yell at Steve until he snapped out of it. “Like his parents came home and suddenly managed to convince him that he needed to do everything he hated.”

Eddie’s lips twisted, downturned and sad. “He said he’d get thrown out the house. Cut off. Sounds like emotional blackmail more than brainwashing, sweetheart.”

You sniffed, turning back to the lake so you could swipe at your eyes. “Yeah,” you croaked. “It does.”

You stayed with the boy until the sky turned blue and the clouds rolled away, the tannoy signalling it was time for breakfast. The camp came alive minutes later, kids clambering out of cabins, half dressed and with one shoe on, racing for a seat with their friends, hoping they’d be lucky enough to get some pancakes before Bob ran out. 

Then Billy was sauntering towards the lake, already shirtless, red shorts and a whistle around his neck. He grinned as he approached, eyes hidden behind sunglasses, biting noisily into an apple. 

“Been waiting long for me, darlin’?” His voice was a drawl, raspy from the morning, from the cigarette he probably hung out his cabin window to smoke before his shift. 

You rolled your eyes and didn’t gift him with a response, silently thanking Eddie with a bump of your hip to his. Eddie seemed to puff out his chest a little as he passed the other boy, his smile anything but friendly as he narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Piss her off, and we’ll have a problem, Hargrove,” Eddie’s voice was soft and lilting, an almost sing-song, but the warning was clear. 

Billy merely grinned wider though, sharklike as he brought his hand to his chest, feigning innocence with a gasp. “Who, me?” He tsked, frowning at Eddie. “Don’t know what you’re gettin’ at, Teddy bear. And besides, she’s not your girl.” Billy turned to you and smirked. “In fact, last I heard, she’s not anyone’s girl, seems like fair game to me.”

You shook your head at Eddie who’d taken a step back towards Billy in response. ‘Not worth it,’ you mouthed. 

So Eddie glared instead, his gaze only softening when he turned back to you one final time. “I’m in the music cabin all day, if you need me,” he said, “and Steve’s gonna be by the pit.”

The rest was unsaid, but understood. Loud and clear. ‘If you need him.’

You didn’t argue, you just nodded. 

Billy didn’t speak again until Eddie was out of sight, a few kids racing towards the dock for their swim lessons, for their turn being taught how to control a kayak. He grinned at you as the small stampede started clamouring around him for life jackets. 

“We’re gonna have fun together, princess, I can already tell.”

—————

You and Billy, in fact, did not have fun together. 

The boy was boorish and mean to the kids, lazy when it came to actually working and he constantly made jokes about letting the campers drown. He spent much of the morning and afternoon on a deck chair, legs spread wide and his eyes closed behind his glasses, his skin growing more tan by the hour. 

“Why do you even work here?” You’d eventually snapped at him, exasperated and breaking your vow of silence. 

“Money ain’t bad, free food and well, I get to spend my time with you, babe.” He’d winked at you, sliding his glasses down his nose before pushing them back up again. 

You somehow managed to stop yourself from kicking his chair into the lake. 

The rest of the day went like that, ignoring Billy and the murderous thoughts he invoked, all while attending to the kids and making sure they didn’t swallow too much lake water. And when the session was coming to an end, Lucas had convinced you to jump in too, the water warmed only slightly by the sun, the skies above it turning back to tangerine as evening set in. So you jumped off the end of the dock, sandwiched between kids, El’s hand in your right, Suzie’s in your left. 

And when you let the water roll over your head, feet barely touching the bottom, you wondered if you’d be okay soon, if by some miracle, you’d wake up tomorrow and the ache in your chest would have stopped. And if it hadn’t, you wished someone would tell you when. And maybe that same person could tell you what you were gonna do with your life too. 

Your hair was still damp when you walked into the mess hall for dinner. Most of the kids were finished, running past you with yelled ‘hello’s’ as they made their way back to their cabins, pockets stuffed with treats they’d no doubt hide for midnight snacking. 

One table was still occupied, most of the staff tired and lashing across the benches, just starting their dinner. Steve was between Robin and Eddie, a few slices of pizza on his tray that he didn’t seem interested in. You thought about turning around, going to bed hungry. You thought about being entirely pathetic and sitting at a table all on your own, preferably on the other side of the hall. But Nancy caught your eye and waved you over as Bob handed you your plate with a smile. 

It was awful, the way the conversation trailed off as you approached, eyes flicking between you and Steve and back again. But the boy kept his head down, nodding at something Eddie was saying, and Jonathan slid closer to Nancy for you, letting you sit next to him. 

“Did we mean to go for a swim or was the idea of a watery demise better than working with Hargrove?” Jonathan joked, his eyes kind as he smiled at you. 

You snorted, picking off the greasy pepperoni that dotted your pizza slices, grimacing when Eddie held out his own plate for them. “The kids wanted me to join them,” you explained, “but now that you mention it, lake sludge and the possibility of a leech or two seems better than another day with Billy.”

Robin frowned, concern knitting across her features. Her nose was already a little burnt, her afternoon off spent napping under an old oak tree behind the gym. “He wasn’t too creepy, was he?”

Your eyes met Eddie’s over the table and you shared a look. He shrugged, letting you know he wasn’t going to say anything. Not that it would have mattered, you decided, Steve hadn’t looked up since you sat down, his fingers busy making knots out of a paper straw wrapped. 

“Nah, no more than usual,” you assured her.

You took a bite of your pizza, if only for something to do, the awkward quietness making your anxiety gnaw at your chest and your bubbling stomach made you wrinkle your nose at the pools of grease the pepperoni left behind. It seemed more unappealing than usual. 

Jonathan noticed. “Oh, here,” he pushed his own tray towards you. “I have Hawaiian leftover if you wanna—”

“She’s allergic to pineapple.”

The voice came before you could speak, ready to explain the same thing. Everyone turned, looking at Steve as he looked at you, a small frown on his face, as if he was annoyed that no one else seemed to know that. 

“Oh,” Jonathan looked horrified, quickly pulling the slice away from you. “Shit, m’sorry, I didn’t kn—” he was talking to Steve more than you, because you still hadn’t said anything, too busy looking at Steve with your mouth agape. 

But it didn’t seem to matter, ‘cause the boy stood up suddenly, eyes just barely finding yours before he tossed his own tray on top of the trash cans and headed outside. The huge doors slammed shut, echoing in the silence. 

No one spoke, glancing between each other and the tabletop as you groaned, your hands covering your face. You weren’t going to cry. You weren’t. 

And then, breaking the silence, Robin: “So, we’ll plan a meal schedule then, yeah?”

—————

The first week of camp quickly bled into the second, the days going by slow and lazy by the lake, the older kids happy to be watched diligently as they paddled around on the kayaks. Each boat had been checked over for any cracks and splinters that might’ve occurred the year before. You held a sandcastle competition with the younger group on a hot morning, lakeside in the grainy sand that was more in-depth than you imagined it would’ve been. 

You ignored Billy throughout, leaving him on his deck chair with his sunglasses and whistle, pretending you didn’t hear him scoff when Steve walked by, your eyes tracking him with his own group until he disappeared behind some trees or another cabin. 

The summer got hotter and you felt lonelier, longing for the familiarity you felt when Steve was nearby. You missed his touch on your back, a hand there when the kids were around, chaste enough that no one squealed and yelled about cooties. 

You missed spending nights in his too small bunk, music playing low, feet touching under the sheets. 

You missed seeing him across the camp, surrounded by kids who loved him, waiting for him to lift his gaze to yours, ‘cause no matter what, he always seemed to know when you were close. You missed the way that even after two years together, your stomach would dip and swirl when he inevitably winked at you, boyish and charming, a promise of a kiss later when he could get his hands on you. 

Now, you either ignored each other or argued with each other, egos in the way, stubbornness winning over silence when you both fell too easily into your old ways. You both found that winning a fight against each other was much harder to do when you couldn’t make the other person concede with a kiss. 

But at the end of the second week, a whole new kind of emotion took over when you saw Steve and his group come back from a hike, a smile on his face as he chatted to the camp counsellor next to him. 

Strawberry blonde hair, tied up in a bow, pink this time. 

Chrissy. 

It was awful, watching them together, hands swinging side by side, not touching in the slightest, but far too close to it for your liking. You watched Steve say something, making Chrissy laugh, a musical giggle that had your teeth set on edge. You forgot what you were supposed to be doing, new logs for the fire pit frozen in your stagnant arms. Nancy must’ve noticed, ‘cause she looked up from the pit at you, face screwed up in confusion. 

“What’re you doing—? Oh.” She watched your face fall, eyes studying every move as the two led their kids back into camp. “You know it’s not like that, right? Steve and Chrissy… it’s not— it’s nothing.”

You heard none of it, logs clattering to the forest floor, a mumbled excuse to Nancy about how you’d be right back and then you were taking off across the pathways, heading for a cabin that you hoped would be empty. The crafts room luckily was, the door shutting behind you, the tables clean and void of glitter, for once. 

[DON’T LEAVE BY FAITHLESS] 

You perched there, collecting yourself, wondering once again when it was going to stop fucking hurting so much. But your thoughts weren’t yours for very long, interrupted by the door opening again. You were ready to tell Nancy you were fine, that it was just a headache, a bee sting, anything. But Steve walked in instead, wary as he looked at you. 

No one spoke, the silence deafening and the closer Steve moved, the more you could smell his aftershave, the same one still lingering on the sweater he refused to take back. He was more tanned already, cheeks freckled from the sun, flushed from his hike. He was staring at you like a wild animal, scared to get too close. 

So he stopped a few feet before you, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, the cuffs of them a little dust covered from his hike. He looked good, awfully so, as pretty as the night you left him in his driveway and it fucking ached to look at him. 

You wouldn’t cry. 

“Uh, Nancy said you were upset.”

You blinked, his voice reverberating through you like a fifty watt amp. You buzzed with it, forgetting what his voice sounded like when he wasn’t yelling, arguing, when he was talking only to you. 

You sniffed and lied. “I’m fine.”

Steve knew better than that. He looked like he wanted to come closer, one heel digging into the old carpet, debating on stepping forward. He didn’t. “Look, Chrissy and I—”

“I thought you were supposed to be hiking with Argyle?” You interrupted, unapologetic. You sucked in a breath, heart on your sleeve, openly vulnerable and waiting to be hurt. “The rota said Argyle.”

Steve shrugged, cheeks tinged pink. “Yeah, I was.” He looked at you, eyes nervous. “But Chrissy showed up at the safety meet, said she’d swapped ‘cause she wanted to plan something for a gymnastics competition the day she was scheduled.”

You just stared at the floor. 

Steve whispered your name, a crack in the middle of it, his voice awfully familiar. He sounded so much prettier when he wasn’t trying to hurt you. “It’s not like that. It’s not.”

You shrugged, staring at a piece of broken off crayon that had been squished into the floor forever ago, a sickly green that wouldn’t come out. You stared at it until it blurred. “It’s not any of my business, Steve, it’s fine.”

You practically heard the boy frown. “What do you mean it’s not your business, prin— I’m not interested in Chrissy. You’re— we only broke up a couple of weeks ago, I’m not exactly looking for something new.”

It hurt to hear him say it, even though you knew it already. But something about Steve’s words made it seem more real, more final. So you tried to keep your expression neutral as you finally lifted your gaze to meet his. 

His jaw was set tight, brows ticking up to meet in the middle, like he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Are you still going?” You asked, and god, you sounded small, scared. You hated it. “To Arizona. Are you still going?”

Steve nodded, jaw tensing. 

Something inside of you shattered all over again. You blew out the breath you’d been holding, smiling tightly, like it hurt to look happy. “Well, don’t let me stop you from another summer fling, like I said, it’s nothing to do with me—”

“Another?” Steve's voice hitched up, confusion and anger leaking in. “What do you mean another? Is that all we were, is that what you think? A two year summer fling? That’s real cute, princess.”

He said the pet name the way he used to, sarcasm mixing with malice, no affection behind it and it made you square your shoulders. It was like a battle call and you were ready for action. 

It hurt less to fight. 

“I didn’t say that,” you bit back, “don’t twist my words, Harrington.” 

Steve’s eyes narrowed. “Is that why you wanted to work with Billy, huh?”

“Oh my god, get real,” you laughed, sliding off of the table so you could shove past the boy. “You really think that little of me?”

Steve’s hand caught your elbow as you tried to head for the door, a touch you knew well. He wasn’t rough about it, but he pulled you back with ease, your body against his as he set you with a look. You knew he was mad, you’d pushed too many buttons and this time, you couldn’t kiss his anger away, you couldn’t push yourself up against him and whisper pretty apologies as you loved on him.

Fuck. 

“You started this,” he reminded you, “clearly you think I’m ready to forget all about you and jump into Chrissy’s bunk so don’t—”

You slipped up then, unable to help it, ‘cause Steve was staring at you with hard eyes and all of a sudden you couldn’t help but imagine him with Chrissy in her cabin, the lights off as he pushed her against her desk, moaning when she wrapped her thighs around his hips and gasped out his name…

“Please don’t.” It ripped out of you in a sob, tiny and cracking. You pressed your lips together so no more noises would come out, eyes turning glassy even though you tried to stave off the tears. “Please don’t do that. Don’t jump into someone else’s bunk.”

‘Please don’t forget me,’ is what you really wanted to say. ‘Please don’t forget about us when you leave.’

You felt too warm, exposed, blinking back tears and trying not to show the hurt but it was too late. Steve knew what you meant, read between the lines and watched tears gather at your lash line. You were too stubborn to let them fall but he softened, the anger leaving him in a rush of adrenaline until he felt tired, sore with it. 

Steve let your arm go, hand trailing down until fingers brushed your wrist. He stepped back, eyes on the wall behind you, blinking until his own eyes stopped watering. 

“I won’t,” he promised, words coming into a soft gasp, like he was shocked that you think he could’ve. 

Words unsaid hung in the air, glittering with the dust motes in the sun, slipping between the shadows from the trees across the walls. 

I miss you, I’m sorry, don’t leave me, I love you. 

You sniffed again, eyes on the floor, shoulder to shoulder with the boy and not wanting to move away. “I have your sweater,” you whispered.

Steve shrugged, wondering if you could hear his pulse, how it seemed to thump in his neck, his chest. It was an awful thing, heartbreak. No one told him it would ache this much to see you, to be so close and not hold you. 

The boy’s gaze dropped to your lips, saw the shine there and wondered if you’d still taste like cherries, or if even after so little time, that had changed too. 

“S’alright,” he mumbled. “I have an extra one.”

“It’s yours,” you replied, your bottom lip wobbling again. Steve didn’t know how to stop it. He looked away. “I shouldn’t have your stuff anymore.”

He frowned, knowing you were right, hurting all the same. “Did you bring yours?” He knew the answer, knew how you could get disorganised when you packed, bleary eyed in the early morning hour before camp. You shook your head. “Keep it. In case you get cold.”

And then he left. 

The second week went by the same, melting into the third with climbing temperatures and the threat of rain that never actually fell. You stayed away from Steve, tried to smile civilly when you did get too close, bumping into each other at mealtimes, on walks with the kids as you passed each other on the trails. 

Will Byers was a little taller than last summer, but he still took your hand at the front of the crowd, looking up at you with a sad smile. “My mom always says it gets easier,” he told you, whispering it like a secret. “Eventually, you don’t have to think about it too hard anymore. She says it’s like maths.”

You laughed at that, a watery thing that made you smile and squeeze the boy’s hand. And that night, around the campfire, you snuck him an extra marshmallow for his s’more, winking when he beamed at you. 

Even when I lose my mind

The staff party was an impromptu thing, thought of by Jonathan and Argyle, encouraged by Robin, alcohol run courtesy of Eddie and his van. 

You hadn’t wanted to go, thinking there couldn’t possibly be anything worse than spending your time off the clock with Steve in a small cabin, or huddled around a fire by the lake. But Robin insisted and the promise of wine lured you in, the idea of numbing the ache that still hadn’t left more inviting by the minute. 

Then Nancy was at the cabin door, a staff shirt swapped for one of her boyfriend's sweaters, bottles of wine in her hands. She gave one to Robin, twisted your fingers with her own and then you were being led through the woods, to the split in the shrubs that only the counsellors knew about, the tiny, hidden trail that led to a patch of sand that was far away from the dock and Hopper’s office window. 

There was a fire going, a pile of shoes by the rocks, people treading water up to their ankles, music playing from a boombox that crackled with static at the same time the flames popped on the logs. 

It was fine until it wasn’t. It was nice until the wine became too much and the lake started to blur with the sky and suddenly, there were stars on the sand, fallen and forgotten and everyone danced over the top of them, left feet tripping over right.

You swayed, head pounding to the beat of the bass and the forest seemed to tilt on an axis as you left your shoes behind and slipped off into the night. You were tired, tongue coated with tequila that Eddie made you shoot with him, stomach swirling with bad beer and jealousy whenever Chrissy wandered close to Steve. 

Nothing happened. Just like Steve said. But you wanted to drop yourself in the boy’s lap and press your nose to his neck, find the spot that made his hands grip your waist a little tighter, dozing there until he’d laugh at you, sticky sweet and fond, telling you it was time for bed. 

So you took yourself there, unnoticed by the rest of your friends, all of them too busy, too drunk. The shadows between the trees were dark but the lights on each porch led you home, back to your cabin that smelled like lavender body spray and spilled vodka, the raspberry remnants soaked up with a bath towel, forgotten on the floor. 

You tripped up on it in your mission to get to your bunk, bare feet cold and hazily. You wondered where your shoes were. But you stripped, struggled with your sleep shorts and dug under your pillow for the sweater you knew you’d folded there. 

It was forest green and too big, and it smelled like the boy whose name was stitched on the front. You hiccuped and pulled it on, asking yourself with a mumble, why was the cabin spinning? You thought maybe it was the pizza rolls you had instead of a proper dinner, ‘cause it certainly wasn’t the alcohol. 

Of course it wasn’t.  

And then, teary eyed and suddenly overwhelmed, you gasped, a heaving breath that stuttered into a sob. You groaned, eyes closing, your head thumping on the cabin wall as you fell back into your pillows. Your stomach gurgled, rolled and dipped. 

You absolutely were not going to be sick. You hated being sick. 

You were not. Going. To be. Sick. 

Your body made a sound of disagreement. 

“No,” you whispered to yourself, sitting up to take some deep breaths. It didn’t really help, a too hot flush rushing over your chest and up your neck, settling over your cheeks until it was so warm you were cold. “No, no, no.”

You didn’t really think about how much time had passed since you left the party. It could’ve been twenty minutes, maybe two hours. The night was still dark, with the morning not in sight, the skies above just as inky as before. But when you opened the cabin door, there weren’t any stars on the ground, not anymore. 

You didn’t know how long it had been since you left the beach, but you knew it had been five long weeks since you walked away from Steve Harrington and his backyard. 

So you went looking for him. 

Bare feet, cold and damp in the moss, sticking to the wilder parts of the woods, drunkenly complaining when you stood on something with thorns. You would’ve been a sight, a sure way to receive a warning if found by Hopper or Murray, but you found you didn’t really care. You wondered if the boy was still at the lake, if anyone was. 

The moon was still high and the stars were back where they should be but when you stopped too long to look up, the world swayed a little, your stomach jumping with it. 

You groaned, mumbling a little about the toadstools by the trees, how you needed to not squish them, ‘cause Argyle would be mad. And then there was a familiar cabin set back from the path, the lights off and cloaked in silence. You walked up the porch steps anyway, remembering to knock, not walk in, even when the alcohol made everything cloudy. 

You waited, stomach churning, breath bated, lips turned down into a too dramatic frown, but you had decided you didn’t want to be drunk anymore and you certainly didn’t want to be alone. The silence stretched on, loud enough that it buzzed and you hiccuped again, tummy jumping in protest. You hushed yourself, curling the too long sleeves of the sweater into your fists, ‘cause you decided you needed something to hold onto. 

You absolutely were not going to fall. 

You wobbled, bare feet standing on top of each other, toes squished, a curse on your lips. Steve opened the door. 

He said your name, surprised but warm, fond like he used to, the way you wanted him to. Your gaze shot up, toes forgotten about as you took him in, soft and sleep, hair a riot, chest bare. 

“Hi.”

“What’re you doing? Are you okay?” He’d noticed your absence soon after you’d left, your shoes forgotten on the sand. But Robin had disappeared too, so he assumed you’d left together. The lake didn’t hold much interest for him after that. “Is something wrong?”

You wanted to laugh at that, you wanted to tell him everything was wrong. 

But instead, you hiccuped, nose wrinkled. “I feel sick.” Another hiccup, a small groan to accompany it. “And I don't wanna be sick.”

Steve frowned, that soft kind of grumpy where his brows crinkled together and he looked at you with too much concern. His hand cupped your elbow, too gentle, like he wasn’t sure if it was allowed. But the world righted itself again with his help and when you stumbled, just a little, Steve sighed. 

“Okay,” he said, mostly to himself. “C’mon.”

He led you into his cabin, the space still dark and smelling like boy, like his aftershave and Eddie’s, the tangerine peels that Steve had left at lunch, the cherry twizzlers Eddie stashed in his desk drawers. Steve flicked the lamp on, a flicker that turned into a dim glow, too weak to make your eyes hurt but you squinted anyway. 

“I’m gonna be sick,” you complained and you sounded panicked, the floor dipping and tilting as you walked. 

Steve’s hands found your shoulders, wide and warm and taking up so much space. He led you to his bed and sat you on the edge, his sheets still warm from where he’d been lying, half asleep and thinking about you. 

“You’re not gonna be sick,” he told you, pushing you back until you were comfy, kneeling before you to scrub at your poor, dirty feet with a towel. He fussed, inspecting your soles for injury. “Jesus, you could’ve cut yourself, you dummy.”

“I might be sick,” you replied, morose. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do,” Steve huffed back, keeping in the laugh he wanted to let out. “You’re never sick. S’like your superpower.”

You paused, as if remembering. He was right. But still, you felt unsettled, skin too warm and clammy, but the idea of taking off your sweater - Steve’s sweater - wasn’t an option to you. At least, not to drunk you. 

You blinked as the boy rolled socks over your feet, too big and sporting a soccer team logo that you hadn’t cared to remember. You wiggled your toes, eyes still a little unfocused. 

“S’like I have clown feet,” you murmured and Steve rolled his eyes. 

“Alright, stay there.” 

He disappeared only to come back seconds later with a bottle of water, not quite ice cold, but cool enough that you chugged it with enthusiasm, gasping when you finished it. You blinked again, lashes fluttering until the cabin came into a clearer view, if only just. Steve was leaning against his desk, arms folded and smiling like he couldn’t help himself. 

He’d slipped a t-shirt on when you weren’t looking, a threadbare thing that was stretched out at the collar and you knew from wearing it to bed too often, that there was a hole in the hem. He looked softer than ever, that kind of sleep mussed that you loved, where he looked like summer and Sunday mornings, long lies and breakfast in bed, toothpaste kisses and the promise of a day being lazy. 

Your heart hurt as much as your stomach. 

“Better?” He asked. 

“A little,” you nodded, head feeling too heavy to be on your neck. You slumped, socked feet curling under yourself, your head falling to the foot of Steve’s bed. His sheets smelled like him and you groaned like it was an awful discovery, your eyes closing in protest. “M’sorry.”

Steve didn’t acknowledge your apology, but he did come to sit by you, up by his pillows where he could watch your chest rise and fall, lips parting as tequila flavoured sleep tugged at you. 

[COPING ALL ON MY OWN BY BELUGA LAGOON] 

“Why’d you come here, princess?”

You were sure you smiled at that, the soft way he said his name for you. Maybe you hid it, maybe Steve didn’t notice. He definitely did. “Didn’t feel well, Stevie.”

“No, I know, but—” 

“Wanted to feel better,” you sighed, as if it were obvious. Maybe it was. You yawned, cheek rubbing against the comforter, the cloying, sickly heat you’d once felt slowly disappearing. “So I needed to come see you.”

Steve didn’t say anything. Didn’t think he could, not when his throat felt tight and you were stretching a leg out, bare and with an already bruised knee from doing god knows what. His fingertips brushed over your ankle and he received a soft sigh from you in return, lips curling into a sleep smile as you felt your eyes shut. 

“You always make me feel better,” you added, feeling the need to explain. 

Steve’s hand wrapped around your ankle then, warm even through his socks. You hummed, a sleepy, upset sound, soft enough that it made Steve’s heart stutter and he clung to you a little tighter. 

“M’so sad that you’re leaving, Steve.” 

He heard his heart break, he was sure of it, the boy sucking in a breath as he tried not to let his emotions out. It wouldn’t have mattered, you were drowsy, still too drunk, face pushed to his sheets and your foot in his lap. But you didn’t look as peaceful anymore, brows stitched together, lips downturned. 

“I don’t want you to leave me.” 

The boy sniffed, lips parting with a gasp because he was crying before he realised, silent tears rolling down his cheeks that you couldn’t see and he nodded, swallowing hard to keep himself in check. “I know, princess,” another heaving breath, “I don’t wanna leave you either.”

Your face crumpled a little more then, leg stretching out until your toes dug at the soft of Steve’s stomach and he smiled, watery eyed but just so pleased that you were close. That he could touch you. 

“Then why are you?” You asked him, quiet and gentle and so much softer than you’d asked before. There wasn’t any yelling. It felt more dangerous this way. “Why’re you leaving?”

Steve swept a hand up your calf, careful and wary, waiting to see if you shoved him away. You didn’t, you curled into him instead, pushing your leg into his touch, seeking out more and you sighed when he tucked his thumb behind your knee. He drew hearts there, on the sensitive skin, and smiled when you shivered. 

“My dad,” Steve explained and his voice sounded a little wrecked, croaking and splintering. 

You hummed again, knowing, your eyes still closed as you said, “Don’t tell him, but, I don’t like him that much.”

The boy snorted at your honesty, not seeing much point at reminding you that he was already very aware of that fact. You’d never tried to hide your dislike for the man, speaking politely when spoken to, but keeping it short and civil. You always made a point to place your hand in Steve’s under the table at dinners, squeezing his when his father droned on about futures and business deals and how spending six weeks at a camp in the middle of nowhere didn’t get people places. 

“I don’t like him all that much either,” Steve whispered back, like it was all some sort of secret. “In fact, I don’t really like him at all, right now.”

You opened your eyes then, blinking at Steve in the low light. You saw his flushed cheeks, his red rimmed eyes, the tears that he’d not yet managed to swipe away. 

“Steve,” you mumbled his name like you were going to cry too, fumbling clumsily to your knees so you could make your way up the bed, letting him catch your hands when you reached for him. 

“I’m sorry,” he croaked, not questioning it when you folded yourself into his arms, his face finding the crook of your neck like he always did. Your hands knitted into the mess of his hair and the boy wasn’t sure how someone could feel so happy and so helpless all at once. You were in his lap now, bundled there with his socks and his sweater, smelling like campfire smoke and you. “I’m really fucking sorry, princess. I don’t know if I said that yet.”

You shook your head, tequila and wine colouring your edges but Steve had his arms wrapped around you tight and he still smelled the same, like cedar and mint and sunscreen. “I miss you,” you mumbled, voice wavering as you blinked away tears, not noticing how they fell into his hair anyway. “I really miss you and m’sorry too, I— I don’t know what to do.”

Steve nodded, like he knew what you meant. Maybe he did. Maybe he understood all too well what it was like to feel lost, to be somewhere that felt more like home than his house did, yet still feel like it wasn’t the same as it used to be. 

He wrapped his arms around you tighter. He shouldn’t have said it, knowing that tomorrow you’d both wake up and he’d still be leaving for Arizona in less than two months. He shouldn’t have suggested it, even with Eddie’s empty bed, the boy probably passed out in a hot boxed van with Argyle and Jonathan.  

He shouldn’t have said it but he did. 

“Stay?” His breath stuttered, a messy thing, as he pulled back and gazed at you. He wanted to lean in, rest his head against your own. But that was too much, too dangerous. “Stay tonight?”

He only meant to sleep, to lay next to each other and let the other be held, maybe for one last time. The idea of it stung, but the way you nodded and lay your head against his chest felt better, an overwhelming surge of dopamine that tricked you both into thinking everything would be okay. 

Maybe that was just the tequila. Maybe it was just the feeling of being close again. 

So he shuffled you both until he was against the pillows and you were against him, legs tangled and head on his chest. You hands made fists in his soft shirt, fingers twisting there like you were scared to let go. Steve thought maybe you were. So held you a little closer, his hand cupping the back of your neck and his nose skimming over your hairline, the closest thing he’d get to kissing you. He couldn’t cross that line, you were both drunk and god, he’d never recover from it. 

He wouldn’t be able to leave you if he got to put his lips to yours again. 

“Alright?” Steve asked, a whisper that stirred the baby hairs by your forehead and you nodded. 

“Feel better now,” you slurred tiredly, nuzzling your cheek against his chest, sleep dragging at you. “…hey, Steve?”

“Yeah?” 

“Why didn’t you call me back?” 

The boy frowned, wondering what you meant. Call him back? When? When did you call? “What?” He tried to crane his neck to see you, but you’d pushed your face into his shirt, lashes fluttering. “When? What’re you talkin’ about?”

You didn’t answer, breath evening out into soft puff, your body lax against him. 

“Princess?”

You were asleep. 

—————

You woke up before Steve, slipping out of his arms and his bed before he could wake, the early morning hour and last night's beer keeping him pressed into his pillows, eyes closed, lips parted. 

You stood aimlessly in the middle of the cabin for minutes too long, Steve’s socks sliding down your ankles, his sweater smelling like him more than ever.His chest had been pressed to your back all night, his nose buried in your hair. Eddie’s bunk was still empty, a sigh of relief leaving you your lips as you realised that there was one less person to explain to. 

Robin was going to have an aneurysm. 

Your face crumpled all over again as you watched Steve one last time, heart beating too fast for such an early morning hour. He’d taken to hugging a pillow in your absence, nose pushed into it, eyes closed and lashes fluttering, like he was dreaming. His hair was a mess, wonderfully so, and you fucking ached to run your hands through it, to sooth back the strands that fell across his forehead, to kiss the skin you revealed underneath. 

You didn’t. You couldn’t. It would hurt too much. 

So you left. 

The pain behind your eyes distracted you just enough from the fact you still didn’t have shoes. Steve’s socks gathered pine needles and dirt as you tried to tiptoe down the pathways, hobbling past any particularly muddy areas. The camp was still asleep, only the birds just waking up, that ultraviolet morning light creating navy shadows between the trees, birdsong starting from above the canopy. 

You guessed it was about six o’clock, maybe earlier, maybe five. There was no sign of anyone stirring, the curtains in each cabin still closed against the rising sun. So you paused at one of the crossroads, looking left and right as you decided what you wanted to do. 

It would be mean to wake Robin, your cabin door far too old and squeaky to allow a silent entrance and honestly, the idea of your own bed didn’t entice you nearly as much as Steve’s had done. You wondered if Bob was in the kitchen yet, if there was food to be scavenged, something that would soak up the tequila and beer that was rolling around in your empty stomach. 

Unsure, you headed towards the lakefront instead, socked feet trailing through the damp grass, morning dew collecting at your ankles. You were seriously rethinking your life choices, swiping a hand over your face as you tried to bring yourself back to life. You should go back to your cabin. 

You should go back to your cabin and tell Robin you fell asleep in your car, or something, fuck, in a tree, you didn’t care. You should go to bed and sleep it off and never talk about how you ran to Steve Harrington ever again. 

He was your ex. He was leaving. You were only going to keep getting hurt. 

The other side of your brain told you that it wasn’t his fault, that he was trapped, stuck, as helpless about the situation as you felt. You remembered him telling you that he missed you too and that he was sorry. 

There was a really fuzzy recollection of him whispering that he didn’t wanna leave you. 

You kicked a stone, groaning through pressed together lips as you realised too late - you still didn’t have any fucking shoes. 

“Hawkins.”

Fuck. 

Murray stood in neon gym shorts and the most ancient camp staff shirt you’d ever seen, sweatbands around his wrist and his glasses hanging from a beaded chain around his neck. His socks were pulled way too high up his legs but shit, at least he had shoes. 

“Murray. Hi,” you waved a little awkwardly, toes pushed together and hands dragging at the hem of the sweater as if you could hide the fact you were wearing sleep shorts and a top that was most definitely not yours. “Nice morning for a run, huh.”

He stared at you blankly, eyes catching your lack of attire. He sighed, turning around and waving for you to follow. “C’mon.”

It was surprisingly easy to follow Murray to the mess hall, his keys clinking together in the quiet as he unlocked the kitchen door. The place was still empty, the metal worktops gleaming, the overhead lights humming to life when they were switched on. 

Murray turned to you, shrugging, his arms held out to the full refrigerator, the large cooker, the overflowing pantry. “Pancakes?” He asked and there was a small smile on his face when you nodded. 

It was even easier to tell the man everything, perched on a countertop as Murray donned one of Bob’s white aprons, the material tied in a bow over his running shorts. He listened and nodded as you ranted, flipping pancake after pancake, stacking them on the plate beside you, only interrupting to coax them into your hands. 

And when you were finished talking and your socks were almost dry, Murray nodded to the fork in your hand, the still full plate of food. “You done?” He asked, not meanly— just, well, just like Murray. You huffed, nodding. “Good, eat.”

So you did as you were told, dipping your breakfast into the puddle of syrup, eyes closing briefly as you chewed, the hit of sugar helping the impending hangover. You both ate in silence, Murray leaning against the kitchen sink and when you were both done, he handed you a large glass of water and waited until you drained the last drop from it. 

“So, you want my advice?”

You stared at the man, unsure. Did you? 

“Couldn’t hurt, right?” You shrugged, defeated and tired. It couldn’t ache anymore than your head, or the hole in your heart. “Lay it on me.”

Murray smiled and shook his head, rinsing off the dishes as he spoke. He was serious about it, surprisingly so, his voice losing that usual sarcastic cadence, his gaze set on the sticky plates before him. 

“You love him, right? You don’t have to answer that. It’s fairly clear to see.” Murray sighed, like telling you this was tiring, like this was all old information. “And he loves you - that’s even more obvious. And I don’t know a lot about what you guys get up to back at home but… I’ve met Steve’s dad before.”

You frowned, confused. “You have?”

“Years ago,” Murray noted. “Think it was Steve’s last year as a camper. Think he’d come second in the relay race or the boat contest, or something. Anyway, before pick up, we did an award ceremony. Steve came up, got his little plastic medal, waved out to the crowd. His parents were actually there - usually it was some nanny in a black car, y’know?”

You did know. You’d see the same woman at school, handing Steve his backpack and lunch, kissing the spot on the crown of his head where his mom should have. 

“Kid was proud as punch. Ran over to his parents waving this stupid medal around. His mom gave him a hug. His dad saw that that little piece of plastic was silver and not gold, and well…” Murray trailed off, a furrow between his brow as he remembered. “I think the chief had to go over and remind Mr Harrington that it wasn’t the time for a family dispute. And that his son had worked hard and was a damn good kid.”

It sounded so familiar, so much so that it hurt. You’d seen that kind of thing before, even now when Steve stood as tall as his dad. “What did his dad say?” You asked, not really wanting to know the answer. 

Murray turned and smiled at you, but it was sad, coloured blue by the story, the memory. He wiped his hands on a towel and sighed. “He said he wasn’t interested in a second rate kid. That Harrington’s were winners.”

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t need to. You were left with the stickiness of maple syrup on your fingertips, on the flat of your tongue, but something still tasted bitter, a sensation that made you wrinkle your nose and frown. 

It tasted like guilt. 

Tell me that I'm all you want

You didn’t see Steve for the rest of the day. In fact, you didn’t see him until the next afternoon, late into the Sunday, once the sky was pink and purple and the kids were eating s’mores around the fire. 

You felt awful for leaving him in his bed alone, the covers thrown back where you’d slipped from his side and snuck out the door. Murray’s words had only made you feel worse as the hours stretched on, but you had convinced yourself it was the hangover, the sour taste of last night's beer. And when Robin had finally cornered you, you avoided her gaze and her questions, letting her shake her head and tut at you until the bell for dinner rang. 

And the next day went the same, turning corners and weaving through woodland paths in the hopes that Steve wasn’t around the corner. Because you didn’t know what to say, you didn’t know how to fix it. Maybe he wouldn’t be mad, maybe it didn’t really matter - because he was still leaving, right? This didn’t make a difference, did it?

But then you saw him by the fire pit, head and shoulders taller than even the oldest of the kids, handing out Graham crackers and telling Max she wasn’t allowed to play with the fire. You caught his eye without meaning to, unable to pull your gaze away and you thought about smiling, you thought about going over, you thought about saying sorry. 

For everything. For all of it. 

Until Steve’s pretty face contorted into a scowl, his eyes narrowing into a glare that you hadn’t seen directed at you in years. He looked pissed. Worse, he looked hurt. But he was doing his damn best to cover that upset with anger, lips curling at you until you glared right back. 

“Jeez, did we travel back in time?” Mike Wheeler appeared at your elbow, his hand held out for the giant marshmallows you were supposed to be handing out to your group. “Why do you and Steve hate each other? Again?”

“That’s none of your business, Wheeler,” you replied witheringly, making sure you squished his marshmallow as you handed it to him. 

“They don’t hate each other,” Dustin materialised at your other side, melted mallow dripping down his fingers, sticky sugar coating his hand. He looked up at you from under his curls, wide eyed and earnest. “Right?”

You looked down at the boy with sad eyes, a smile that was even sadder. You shrugged and pulled at a curl, watching as it bounced back. “Right,” you told him, even if you weren’t sure you believed it yourself. 

“My mom says that all couples go through their differences,” Suzie joined your group, two sticks at the ready, waiting to spear her marshmallows on for roasting. She grinned at you toothily, one missing after an incident with Max and a dodgeball. “She said it’s normal. But then she drinks a lot of wine and sleeps a lot so she forgets in the morning.”

You didn’t really know what to say to that, so you stared at Suzie with a strained smile and nodded anyway. “Sure, exactly. Yeah.”

“I heard Steve’s moving away,” Mike chipped in again, blissfully ignorant to the way your frown returned at his words. “Will he work at a new camp in Arizona?”

“What?” Dustin was aghast, chocolate dripping to the forest floor without him realising. “No! He can’t!” He spun back to look at you, as if you could fix it all. You wish you could’ve. “He can’t, right?”

You didn’t answer. Instead, you stood amongst the kids and stared at Steve through the crowd. He wasn’t smiling, shoulder to shoulder with Eddie as they continued to hand out snacks, and whenever the boy looked up and caught your gaze, the furrow between his brows reappeared. You thought about Steve in a new state, across the country in a dorm room that had a bed you’d never sleep in, one that was open to other girls, girls you’d never know about. 

Maybe there would be another camp, there’d certainly be another job. And there would be classes and lectures, campus coffee shops and student bars, all overflowing with new people to meet. Maybe Steve would find someone there, someone he didn’t hate at first, someone who he could flirt with, someone who didn’t know about his parents, his past, his daddy’s influence. 

Maybe he’d be happier there. Without you. 

Dustin was still looking at you, waiting for a response. You tried to smile, you did. But it was tight and watery, and not believable at all. “I don’t know, bud,” you shrugged. “It’s… whatever.”

If Steve could decide that he didn’t care anymore, that he could go back to glaring at you across the forest, you could too. What did he expect you to do? Wake up in his arms and suddenly decide that you were okay with moving to another state? That you were happy to obey his fathers orders, just like he was?

It didn’t make a difference. Nothing would change. It didn’t matter. If Steve wanted to play enemies again, fine. You’d give as good as he did. 

—————

When Dustin and El found you later that day, you were glad for the distraction. The lake had been quiet after swimming classes, the forest shrouded in shadows after heavy clouds rolled in, hiding the sun. The two had run towards you from the centre of camp, sneakers kicking up dust as you watched them, ignoring how Billy was trying to edge closer, fingers teasing at the straps of your swimsuit. 

You’d told him to leave you alone, you’d told him to fuck off. You’d even tried to ignore him. Every option only made the boy grin wider. So you left your post on the dock and made your way towards the kids, smiling up until you saw their worried faces, panic in their eyes. You moved faster, meeting them by the shoreline, concern growing like a knot in your stomach. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, already searching over their heads for some kind of danger, for an emergency. 

“Will needs help!” Dustin urged as El grabbed your hand, tugging at you, waiting for you to follow. 

“What? What’s wrong? Where is he?” You were already running with them, following them past the mess hall, past the gym, towards where the cabins grew older, damp and unused, overgrown with vines and weeds. 

“Uh, an allergic reaction!” Dustin yelled. 

“Asthma attack!” El told you at the same time. 

You slowed, just a little, your pace stumbling at each answer. You looked down at the girl, her flushed cheeks and wide eyes, wondering if you’d heard them both right. “Wait, wha—?” But then Dustin was grabbing your other hand and pulling you with determination, feet tripping over fallen branches until a cabin came into view. 

Lucas and Max were standing outside of it, waving their arms like they were trying to flag you down, as if you could miss them.

“He’s in here!” Lucas told you, worried scrambled with what you thought was panic. “We think it’s a snake bite. Maybe a tarantula!”

Again, you stopped, looking between the four kids with confusion wrinkling your features. “What? A tarantula? Guys— shouldn’t we get Hopper? Someone needs to—”

“Mike and Suzie are getting him,” Max assured you, smiling too sweetly as Lucas and El placed their hands on your back, pushing you towards the door. 

The cabin was dark, most of the windows boarded up, broken glass on the forest floor. Why the fuck was Will in there? Before you could ask, you were shoved one final time, the door slamming shut behind you. You made a sound of protest, turning to wiggle the handle but it was already locked.

“Guys! What the hell!” You thumped on the door with a fist, rattling the wood until the old hinges squeaked in protest. It wouldn’t budge. “Are you kidding me?”

 There was nothing but the sound of birds, insects that buzzed and the distant sound of kids on the lake. “Guys! Dustin! I swear to god, you’re gonna be in so much trouble. I know this was your idea—”

The rusting of leaves, a twig snapping and then more voices. Hushed whispers that were interjected with another voice, an older one.

Male and annoyed. 

No. 

The cabin door opened abruptly and before you could barge your way out, another body was shoved inside, clumsy and disorientated. The figure was tall, broad shouldered and wearing a camp counsellor shirt, the forest green cotton sun bleached and faded. The boy’s hair was a mess, his cheeks already freckled from the sun, his brown eyes squinting into the dim light as he adjusted out of the sun. 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“What the fuck?” Steve stood in the middle of the empty cabin, scowling at you even through his confusion. But the door had already been slammed shut again, the metallic clunk of a deadbolt sliding into place. “What’s going on? Those little shits told me they found a fucking bear cub.”

You rolled your eyes, stomping over to the door to bang on it again. “There’s no bears in Indiana, Steve, we’ve been over this.” You huffed when Steve swore and suddenly the cabin felt five times as small. “Dustin! Max!”

Silence. 

“Then how’d they get you here, huh?” Steve spat, marching over to one of the boarded windows, doing his best to push the planks free of the rusted nails. “Did they tell you Hargrove was wet and waiting or something?”

You stared at him, gaze withering as you attempted to ram your shoulder into the door. It did nothing but bruise your arm and your ego, the wood refusing to move. “Get over yourself, Steve. Just because you’re happy to let Chrissy follow you around with her pom-poms out, doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump the next guy I see. Lucas! I know you’re still there! El, open the door!”

The space outside the cabin was silent and for a horrified second, you were almost sure the kids had left. 

“I told you, it’s not like that,” Steve growled, slamming his palm into the board one more time. 

“Yeah, well, despite me being repulsed by Billy Hargrove for the last five years, you don’t seem to get that it’s not like that either,” your voice was poisonous, your glare just as deadly. “So let’s not play that game, Harrington.”

Steve let out a bitter laugh, forgetting about his escape plan to round on you instead. “Oh, so it’s Harrington again, is it?”

[EXILE BY TAYLOR SWIFT FT. BON IVER]

It felt awfully familiar, the sharpness in his tone, the mocking laughter, the way he glared at you. ‘Cause despite the anger, the annoyance, the frustration, a tension was still there that you’d recognised from your first year at camp with Steve. 

A feeling that followed you home to Hawkins, one that greeted you every time you bumped into the boy in the supermarket, every time you spotted him at the pool, the arcade, the bowling alley. A tension that fizzed and popped, your own personal storm that crackled everytime Steve Harrington was near. 

Except now - just like the beginning - you weren’t able to do anything about it. 

“I can think of names that are a lot less nice than that,” you snapped back, turning away from the door to face him. “Take your pick, I’d be happy to oblige.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you would, princess,” Steve was closer now, toe to toe, another achingly familiar position. You could smell his cologne, his sunscreen. You could see the way new freckles had gathered across the bridge of his nose. “No need to get bitchy about it though.”

All thoughts of kissing him, of lunging forward and pushing your lips to his to try and end this mess - to fix it - left your head at his words. You gaped at him, anger rising, blood boiling. Steve looked at you like he knew he’d overstepped. 

“Bitchy?” You repeated, your voice getting higher in pitch and volume. “About it? It?”

“I didn’t mean it like that—”

“What’s ‘it’ Steve?” You steamrolled him, arms crossed over your chest as you took another step forward, your converse kicking at the toes of his sneakers. “Our breakup? I'm not to get bitchy about that?”

“Hey, you’re the one who broke up with me,” Steve shot back, an accusatory finger pointed in your direction. “So don’t act all high and mighty about it.”

“I broke up with you?” You scoffed, letting the annoyance buzz at your skin like a swarm of wasps, anything to stop yourself from crying. “You’re leaving, Steve. You’re leaving me, remember?”

“You left me the other night!” Steve burst out, throwing back his response like it was suddenly a competition, a contest to see who hurt the other more. To see who’s heart was the most broken. “You left. I woke up, and you were fucking gone, so don’t start yelling about being left alone.”

You weren’t sure who was winning. 

“You’re moving across the fucking country!” You yelled, finally snapping, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. “You’re really, really leaving me.”

You took a step back then, and another and another, clumsy through the cabin until your back hit a table. Steve’s hand twitched at his side, like he wanted to reach out, like he wanted you to hold onto it. He didn’t move. 

“What do you want me to do?” Steve said, his voice more serious than you’d ever heard it. In fact, he sounded a little like his dad. “You want me to say no to him? Huh? D’you want me to say fuck it to the last opportunity I’ll probably ever get? Want me to stay unsuccessful with a shit job and a shit wage and just hope one day I can do enough for you? For us?”

Your eyes turned watery at that, despite the anger his words ignited in you, the frustration. “You’ve always been enough for me, Steve.”

The boy came closer then, like he’d wanted to. His footsteps were unsure, nervous and slow, but when he realised you weren’t backing away, you weren’t running, he was suddenly toe to toe. He was taller, tall enough for you to have to tilt your chin up to meet his gaze and you didn’t try to hide your tears. You held your head proud instead, refusing to look away. Your stubbornness made the boy smile, a little knowing, a little sad. ‘Cause he wanted to wipe your eyes, sweep his thumb under your lash line and pull you close. 

“So what do I do, princess? Rip up the acceptance letter and mail the pieces to my dad? Hope he doesn’t kick me out of the family? Hope I have a bed to go back to? Do I get down on my knees for you here? Do I beg for you? Do I ask you to be mine again and hope to fuck that what ever comes next works out for us? Do I go back to Family Video and wait for you to work out what you wanna do with your life too?”

Steve wasn’t teary eyed like you were, but his expression seemed worse. His brows knitted together, his gaze helpless, sad, worried. But his hands were frantic, suddenly on your waist and pulling you close, chests bumping, his fingers twisting into your shirt.

“Do I kiss you now? Do I fuck you over this table and call you princess? Tell you that-- that,” Steve choked on his words, shaking his head at you like you were the one asking for him to say it. To admit it. “To tell you that I love you and it’s gonna be fine no matter what?”

You could help but feel the pull in your stomach at his words, the hook there that seemed to be tied to the way Steve kept his hands on you, your body pressed against his. He leaned in and you kept your eyes on his, noses bumping, lips hovering. It seemed so long since you’d last kissed him, years and years and years. You wondered what would happen if you gave in, if you pushed yourself onto your toes and pressed your mouth to his. Would it fix things? Would it change his mind, would it change yours? Would it make you feel better, even just for a second?

“Are you happy?” you asked the boy instead and you watched his bravado crumble in front of your eyes. “Are you happy about Arizona? About college? About finance and your future and leaving?”

Steve let go of you and stepped back, his warmth and the smell of his cologne fading. You should’ve stopped talking, you should’ve pulled him back and kissed him one last time, let him pull off your clothes, clumsy and desperate, you should’ve begged for him to make you come one last time, you should’ve made him feel so good that he’d never forget the way you felt wrapped around him. 

“Would you be happy if I came with you? If I let your dad buy us some condo in Phoenix? If I went to college too, to study a major I didn’t want? Maybe get a job in an office where I gotta wear some tight, little pencil skirt and too high heels, but shit, it’s good money, right?” You were breathing harder now, trying not to cry, trying not to give in and say fuck it to all of it. “Would that make you happy, Steve?”

‘No,’ he wanted to say. ‘No it wouldn’t.’ He wanted to tell you that he wanted none of that, that none of that would make him feel any better. He wanted to yell out and kick the wall, kick the door. He wanted to grab you and pull you close, ask you to kiss him until he felt better, until he had enough courage to tell his dad that he wasn’t fucking following his rules. Until he felt brave enough to take your hand and let the pieces fall where they may.

Instead, he turned and made his way to the door, opening it easily, like the kids had heard enough and realised that this wasn’t going to work. Steve stopped then, his back to you as he paused in the doorframe, the forest empty and quiet before him. Like it was waiting for him, like you were. 

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Steve murmured sadly. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” 

“I just want you to be happy, Steve,” you whispered back. “I want you to do what makes you happy.”

Steve walked away. 

—————

Steve didn’t know where he was going, just that he needed to get away from the cabin, from you, from the way you looked at him, the way you sounded. Like you were broken and hurt and it was all his fault.

Like he couldn’t do anything about it. 

He passed the kids who were lingering by a broken log, kicking stones and looking guilty. Steve didn’t say anything, just tried to smile a little sadly at Dustin when he mouthed an apology, eyes wide and sad. 

The wild roots and the overgrown bushes eventually gave way back to the normality of the camp, well worn pathways and the sounds of the lake. If you’d followed him, Steve didn’t know, he didn’t hear, he didn’t look back. His father’s voice was in his head, an echo from weeks before, a mantra about what it took to become a man, six figure paychecks and the white picket fence dream. 

He didn’t want to go to Arizona. He didn’t want to leave you. 

Steve kept walking. 

A fast car, an office with a view, a mahogany desk, a custom leather briefcase, a pretty wife and a prettier secretary. Kids you didn’t talk to, a cheque book you could bargain with, a house that was bigger than your neighbours, a pool out back that was deeper than everyone else’s. 

Steve kept walking. 

A promotion, golf on the weekends with your boss, business cards with your name embossed in gold. Arguments at Christmas, couples therapy on your tenth wedding anniversary, a secret email address for the woman nobody knew about. 

Steve kept walking. 

A life like his dad’s, his parent’s. 

“Is that you, Harrington?”

Steve groaned, turning to see Billy walking up the dock and towards him. The kids in Billy’s swim group were just leaving, variations of soaking wet and shivering as they all ran past Steve with towels bundled around their shoulders, greeting him with enthusiasm. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” Steve huffed, levelling the other boy with a glare that told the other counsellor that he was less than pleased to see him. Steve waited until the last camper ran past them, stumbling towards the mess hall with wet feet. “Don’t cream your pants.”

Billy grinned, that wide spreading smile that made him look more dangerous rather than friendly. He was spinning his whistle from one finger, shirtless and tanned, sauntering towards Steve like he had all the time in the world. “I’ll try not to,” he snarked, eyebrows raised. “But word on the street is you’re the one who’s not gettin’ any.”

“Get fucked, Hargrove,” Steve snarled, immediately on edge, shouldering his way past the other boy so he could continue walking to god knows where. Maybe he’d find Eddie. Maybe he’d let him sulk in the corner of the music cabin. 

“Always trying,” Billy answered gleefully, ignoring Steve’s bad mood. “What about your girl?”

Steve stopped. 

“My bad, she’s not your girl anymore, is she?” Steve didn’t need to turn back around to know Billy was still grinning. He could hear the laughter in his voice, the pleasure at his twisted words. “Either way, I’m pretty sure she’ll be gagging for it by now, right? You guys were always at it. In the gym, your cabin, fuck— I bet she’ll jump on the next guy who offers—”  

If Steve was surprised he let Billy talk that long before launching himself at him, well, so was Billy. Steve’s fist landed on the other boy’s jaw with a crunch, a satisfyingly, sickening noise that only urged Steve on. He managed to grapple at the boy pushing him over until Billy tumbled into the dirt, skin smeared with wet sand and pine needles. 

It didn’t take much for Steve to land on top of him, anger and frustration coming out as quickly as the blood from his knuckles. He managed to aim one more blow at Billy’s nose before the boy pushed him back, the breath knocked from Steve’s lungs as a fist caught his cheekbone, a crack resonating through his face, making his head buzz, his ears ring. He let out a yell as he tried to bring his knee up, catching Billy in the groin with it, pushing him back even as Billy tried his best to push Steve’s head into the forest floor, pine cones piercing his shoulders, his neck, his cheek. 

And then the pressure was lifted from his chest as Billy was hauled away, tattooed arms lifting the boy off of Steve, Eddie yelling obscenities as Billy thrashed. 

Steve scrambled up, launching himself forward without a care, ignoring Eddie’s warnings as he raised his arm again to try and land another hit but Jonathan caught his wrist, wrenching him backwards. 

“Fuck, man. Let it go, yeah?”

Steve was panting, blood on his knuckles, a split in his cheek that was angry and red, pine needles and sand on his shirt and in his hair. “You didn’t hear what he was saying,” the boy managed to ground out. “What he was sayin’ about, about—”

“She’s not your fucking girl, Harrington,” Billy yelled, cursing when Eddie elbowed him in the side, never letting go of the hold he had on him. “The only person you’re gettin’ fucked by now is your daddy—”

Steve managed one more hit, a crack to Billy’s nose that Eddie winced at but said nothing. Unfortunately, Hopper had a lot to add to the conversation as he marched towards the group, yelling before he was even within hearing distance, moustache twitching as the campers that Steve didn’t even see, parted as he got closer. 

“Harrington! Hargrove!” 

Eddie and Jonathan stepped back from the accused, hands raised to show their intact knuckles, how their hands were clean, not bloodied. 

“My office! Now!”

—————

Eddie jumped up from where he was lying on his bunk when Steve finally entered the cabin. The boy was flustered looking, knuckles wiped clean of blood but the cuts on his fingers and face were angry looking, red and fresh. 

Hours had passed since Hopper had led the two boys into his office, both covered in blood and pieces of the forest floor, glaring at each other as they walked into the cabin.  

Steve stripped off his dirty shirt as Eddie eyed him warily, dropping the comic he’d been reading in order to sit at the end of his bed and wait. When Steve finally pulled on a clean staff shirt and sighed, Eddie threw him an ice pack that he’d managed to wrangle from Joyce’s office. 

“Did he fire you?”

“He offered me a job.”

Eddie blinked. “What?”

Steve groaned, letting himself fall onto the bed, his hands scrubbing at his face, hissing when he caught the Billy inflicted cut on his cheekbone. “He offered me a fucking job, dude. Didn’t even yell.”

“Like, a new job? An actual job?” Eddie moved to the end of Steve’s bed, shoving at his friend's legs until there was enough room for him to sit. “What the fuck?”

“He dealt with Hargrove and told him to walk it off,” Steve murmured, wincing when he brought the ice pack to his face. “Then he sat me down and asked me what the fuck I was playing at. He wasn’t even mad about the fight, he told me he’d heard about Arizona—‘bout my dad.”

Eddie just waited, breath held as he wondered where this was going, if Steve was going to crack. 

“He said it was a real shame I wouldn’t be back next summer and that it was an even bigger crime that I was listening to Michael Harrington.”

Eddie’s mouth fell open and he picked at the bedspread, suddenly feeling awkward. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Shit. Told me he knew my dad from school, apparently they played football together or somethin’. Said he was sad that I was doing something I didn’t wanna do.”

Eddie paused then, waiting. Waiting for Steve to admit it to him the same way he’d get to admit it to himself.  “What did you say?”

“Nothing at first.” Steve shrugged. “But he sat and stared me out like some kinda cop and fuck, I dunno. I started rambling.”

With raised brows and an expectant expression, Eddie waved his hand at the boy. “About?”

Steve squirmed, pink cheeked and embarrassed. He stared at the bedsheets, shrugging. “Everything, I guess. Anyway, he said he and Murray have been planning to open this kids club thing for a while, some kind of community centre. S’open seven days a week, all through the year. Not just summer.”

Steve stood up then, pacing, his hand going to his hair to pull ag the strands and Eddie had to turn to watch him, up and down, up and down the cabin. 

“He wants me to run it.”

“Shit,” Eddie was quiet, shocked. 

“Shit,” Steve agreed. 

“Like, a manager?” 

“Yeah, like a manager. Full time.” Steve let out another sigh and he sounded tense. Stressed. “It’s in Shelbyville.”

Eddie let out a low whistle, flopping back onto the space Steve had vacated. His head hit the pillows and he smiled, unable to help himself. “That’s near Hawkins, right?”

“‘Bout a half hour out,” Steve confirmed. 

“Hell of a lot closer than Arizona, huh?”

“Yeah, sure is.”

“So, he offered you it, just like that?” Eddie snapped his fingers and stared at the beams across the ceiling, not sure how far he could push Steve. “No degree needed?”

“No degree needed,” Steve repeated. He sounded dazed. “Good pay, healthcare, dental, pension. Everything. Hop said he thought I’d be really good at it. That he couldn’t imagine asking anyone else.”

Steve didn’t say anything about how his manager’s words made him realise that his dad didn’t know him at all. Less than he’d originally thought. 

Silence took over, just for a few minutes and Steve did the same as Eddie, flopping down onto the other bunk with a soft ‘oof’, his arms stretched out the mattress and his eyes trained on the ceiling. In the quiet, he could hear the kids by the lake, wrestled into order by another staff member, someone who sounded like Nancy. A whistle blew, shrill and sharp and then splashes, happy shrieks. Steve lay until the sun warmed his face, until he had to squint and sit up, the cabin filled with that golden kind of light that only appeared around dinner time. 

The same light hit off Eddie’s rings, silver turning even brighter and rainbows bounced off of them, tiny and scattering across the walls when Eddie moved. He sat up when Steve did, both boys peach and pink coloured in the sun. 

“So, what’re you gonna do?” Eddie finally asked. He said it softly, like he was scared to ask, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. 

“I’m not sure,” Steve replied honestly and he didn’t try to hide the distress on his features. He felt tired, too heavy. A little lost. “But I don’t want to fucking go to Arizona.”

PART TWO

[kakitetan]

Yandere! Glisten x GN! Reader | His One And Only Desire

Synopsis: Toodles was helping Dandy with some work in the museum and gets lost. You decide to help Rodger find her, which inspires other toons to help find her. Along with all this, one by one, everyone gets infected by ichor. You're the last one, and you find Glisten.

WARNING: Contains mentions of gore, obsession, stalking, murder, torture, and child endangerment. Your discretion is advised.

You were a toon, and so were your friends. There were eight, then seven, then six. Then one, you. You were the last one, you regret it. You should've listened, but with that optimistic mindset, everyone had disbelief. You made a mistake, you didn't even know what death was before this, and that reflection of innocence was shattered. Staring at your reflection in the haunting elevator, was a constant reminder of how this all began...

"What? Toodles is missing?" You repeated, "I'm afraid so... She went to help Dandy with some machines. I have to go look for her." Rodger spoke, and you felt for him. Toodles meant a lot to him, he was practically a father figure. Plus, she must be so scared! The museum is so big!

"I'll come too!" You said, "Why, I might as well tag along." Glisten spoke up, inspiring your other friends to tag along as well.

You never saw it coming...

"Great! I can help supply you guys, why now there's nothing to fear! Toodles will be just fine!" Dandy said.

Why was it that Dandy was never worried in the first place, he just grinned at you and your friends. All he wanted in exchange for his help, were some tapes and supplying the museum with an odd black fluid. Dandy always had a smile on his face, no matter what the situation. He seemed almost amused by the difficult situations you seemed to constantly find yourself and the rest of the toons in. It was unnerving, the way he could remain unruffled when everyone else was in a state of conflict, and his confidence bordered on arrogance. With his relaxed attitude, he was the star of the show. He acted like it too... All he wanted in return for his help was some tapes and the occasional delivery of a strange black fluid to supply his museum's exhibits.

On the first floor, Boxten found Toodle's plush. Toodle's beloved plush toy lay abandoned on the floor, its battered stuffing peeking out of a tear in its side. Boxten paused to pick it up, feeling a pang of sympathy for its owner. The worn edges and faded fabric hinted at many nights of comfort and companionship.

"She would never leave this lying around," Boxten spoke, giving the plush to Rodger. He had no words.

We had never experienced anything like fear, grief, or anything like that. We had lived a life of privilege, shielded from the harsher realities of the world. The closest thing to sadness we ever experienced was Shrimpo's bullying. That was tame compared to the sinking feeling of loss, and fear. It was strong, it took the words right out of everyone's mouths. But nothing could have prepared us for the feeling that washed over us at that moment - a heavy, sinking sensation that left us all breathless and afraid. We stood there, frozen and speechless, as the realization of what was happening slowly sank in.

When we got back to the elevator, Poppy tried to lighten the mood. Poppy, ever the optimist, attempted to alleviate the tension by making a light-hearted remark as we gathered in the elevator.

Boxten's voice cut through the silence as he voiced his concern. "I'm scared maybe we missed something on the last floor," Boxten spoke.

"Boxteeenn! You worry WAAAAYYYYY too much! Everything's gonna be okay!" She cheered.

Boxten's voice cracked as he countered Poppy's question. "We didn't check everywhere, what if there's something important we missed?" His words hung in the air, the fear of the unknown hanging over him heavier than the silence.

"You're doing it again!" Poppy replied, causing some of the toons in the elevator to laugh.

The next floor took us by surprise as we came face to face with copies of ourselves. They were aggressive and unsettling. Twisted Boxten let out a distressing, gurgling sound as if he were submerged in water. It was a chilling noise that lingered in your mind long after the encounter. Your arm was still scarred by the arms that grew out of his box.

Out of everyone to take it harshly, it was Boxten.

"I can't-- can't do this!" He was pacing in the elevator.

"Boxten... It's okay." Poppy spoke, placing her hand on his shoulder

"No! It's not, Poppy!" Boxten snapped, slapping her hand away. She gasped.

Poppy stared at him, her eyes brimming with tears, reflecting the deep well of emotions within her.

"Alright, enough. It's hard for everyone, let's just stay calm. I'm sure Dandy will know what to do." Rodger spoke, it calmed everyone down, but that was only temporary.

We never did get an explanation...

"What? Monsters? What are you guys talking about?" Dandy spoke.

"There's been monsters of us, explain yourself," Glisten leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms in a display of defiance as he spoke.

"Now now, there are no such things as monsters. That's only in nightmares, right, Astro?" Dandy replied to the group, Astro held up his blanket to cover his face. Astro didn't like being put in the spotlight.

"Why don't you all give me the tapes, and I'll give you some candy in exchange?" Dandy spoke.

And before we knew it, it became a cycle. A repeating cycle.

We lost Poppy first.

"Boxten!" She yelled, trying to reach out for him. He saw a twisted version of himself, grabbing Poppy, and then eating her alive.

"BOXTEN! HELP ME! IT HURTS! BOXTEN! HELP ME!" She screamed, blood filling her lungs. Her screams became more gurgled, he watched in horror.

His little legs trembled in fear before he ran off from her mutilated body.

After that encounter, Boxten fell silent. It seemed as though he had relinquished his voice, leaving the air heavy with his unspoken words. The departure of Poppy and Boxten only seemed to thicken the atmosphere.

Before the elevator door opened, Goob took out a box of bandages and bandaged your cuts. He carefully began to unwrap them and apply the adhesive strips to my injured wrists, wrapping them with a gentle and practised touch. His hand slumped back and forth to each one, he always had a bit of difficulty controlling his arms.

"I couldn't help but notice your arm was bleeding." Goob smiled at you, you smiled back.

"Thanks, Goob! You're the best." You spoke with a grin.

We tried to defend ourselves from the twisted versions of our friends, but it became clear that they were stronger, faster, and more dangerous than us. Every blow we landed was met with a counterattack, every dodge was followed by a swift and brutal strike. We fought desperately, trying to keep them at bay, but the twisted copies seemed almost untouchable. Our every move was countered, and our attacks met with swift and brutal responses. Every time one of us gained an advantage, the twisted versions would quickly find a way to turn the tide back in their favour.

"It's okay! I'll distract them." Goob offered, carrying the line of twisteds. His self-sacrifice helped keep many toon's fear at bay, however, that didn't last long.

Goob left next...

Astro found his mutilated body, Astro's normally shy demeanour was replaced by a quiet resolve as he stumbled upon the mangled body of his friend. Astro closed Goob's eyes, a silent tribute to the fallen toon, before forcing himself to move on and continue onward, dragging his blanket along.

The elevator became quieter after those three were gone... The air felt thicker than ever before. The elevator ride to the next floor was sombre and still, the loss of our friends weighing heavily on everyone left. The air felt thick and oppressive like a heavy blanket suffocating any attempts at lighthearted conversation. Every glance at each other felt like a constant reminder of the reality of the situation.

As everyone diligently worked in quiet concentration, you found yourself engrossed in turning a pipe handle. Lost in the repetitive motion, your heart leapt into your throat and you were brought crashing back to reality, you were startled out of my trance by a sudden, piercing shriek. The ear-piercing shriek took us all by surprise, jolting us out of our thoughts and back into reality. No one spoke aloud, but the shared look of alarm and confusion was enough to tell me that we all felt the same way - startled and uncertain as to the source of the noise. Footsteps pitter-pattered into the room.

"GOOB! You're back! I just knew you were okay!" That sounded like Scraps..

You walked out of the room you were in, into the large corridor. Scraps was running over to the twisted version of her brother.

"SCRAPS, NO!" The words ripped out of your throat like a furious roar, and you were filled with urgency as you saw her charging towards danger. Your voice was raw from the force of my yell, and though it burned your throat, you couldn't let her put herself in harm's way.

Goob picked up Scraps, squeezing her mercilessly, tightening.

"No! NO!" You yelled as Goob grabbed Scraps and squeezed her mercilessly.

"GOOB! It's too tight! You're hurting me! IT H--" Scraps yelled, her little body straining under the pressure. Scraps' screams were abruptly silenced by a sickening SPLAT. Her blood, flesh, and cartilage stained the walls. Scraps of flesh splatted onto you, but your hand was still reached out for her. Her body parts fly off from the impact, hitting every surface imaginable.

But Scraps didn't exist anymore.

As you took a step back, Goob appeared unfazed by the fact that he had just taken the life of his sister. With a chilling calmness, he extended his arms towards you, and in a panic, you turned and sprinted back towards the elevator, desperate to escape the terrifying scene. The doors close behind you with a metallic clank, providing a momentary reprieve from the horror that awaits outside. But even as you attempt to distance yourself from the carnage, the echo of Scraps' final moments lingers.

One by one, everyone left this world.

Everyone except for you, you aren't even sure why you're still going. In a trance-like state, you exit out of the elevator. You had been alone for a while, so suddenly hearing a familiar voice speak caught you off guard.

"D-Did I just hear someone?" Glisten spoke.

You never ran so fast, running over to him. Your heart pounds fiercely in your chest as you approach Glisten. Your speed slowed down as you saw his appearance, half of his face was broken, and his hands were tied by his belt. Half of his face is disfigured beyond recognition, and Glisten's torso is mutilated., a mangled mess. He looks up at you with vacant, hollow eyes, the light within them extinguished forever. Blood trickles slowly from the gaping wounds, staining the floor beneath him. Despite the horrific sight before you, you can't help but feel a pang of pity for this once graceful man reduced to have such a horrific fate.

You felt vomit in your throat, tasting a bit of the candy you had earlier. The sight of ichor instantly made you sick to your stomach. Causing your stomach to churn violently. Your body recoils instinctively, refusing to accept the sight before you. Ichor, the thick, dark fluid of life, spills from Glisten's wounds.

His voice, once commanding and confident, now comes out as a weak plea. "Oh, it's you.." he murmurs, barely above a whisper. "Stop! Please don't run!" Glisten begged, stumbling towards you, his movements slow and laboured. One of his eyes is a ghastly shade of pink, the other staring blankly ahead.

You nodded, showing any fear wasn't a good idea. This was scarier for him than it was for you. "What.. What happened?" You asked him. Yet, despite everything, you extend a sliver of compassion, reaching out to offer some semblance of comfort amidst the horror that was around the both of you.

"I was attacked earlier, I found myself here. I'm so glad you're here, Y/N. I don't want to be alone.. Please... Don't leave me, please stay." He begged.

You nodded again, albeit lacking confidence. You didn't want to say it, but you knew what you had to do. "Don't worry, I'm not hurt at all. I'll keep you company. I just have to do these pipes." You said to him, reassuring Glisten.

"Alright.." He responded.

You navigate the dimly lit corridor, your steps deliberate and sure. Reaching out, you grasp the cold metal of the first pipe, twisting the handle firmly. The pipe groans in protest, releasing a torrent of ichor that cascades downwards.

"How have you managed to avoid getting infected?" Glisten asked.

That perked your attention, it was a hard question to answer, due to his own circumstances. You felt your mouth dry up.

".. I'm very careful." You responded, trying to play it safe. You flashed him a smile, that faded as you turned back your attention to the pipe.

"That's smart.. But I believe even the most cautious people would break under these circumstances." Glisten said.

You glanced at him, thinking. You wondered if this was even your Glisten or some kind of clone. In all honesty, you were going mad. This was hell. How could you not tell the difference anymore?

"Why haven't you given up yet?" Glisten asked.

You turned the pipe handle in thought, before turning your head in thought. "I think I have, I'm just bad at showing it." You answered back.

"Nonsense, Y/N. That doesn't sound like something someone who has given up would say." Glisten responded.

You were just trying to be honest, "It’s true, I can’t accomplish my dreams if I have no one to share it with, and.. Everyone is depleting so fast. But.. I still continue to do these pipes. I don’t know why I do it, ever since I’ve been here, I feel like I’ve been out of touch with myself. I’ve been running on adrenaline." You expressed, gripping the pipe harder. This whole time, you were just trying to do it for Toodles, but now you have no one to live for, no one to continue for. You've just been working in a trance-like state.

It made no sense to you.

Glisten listened to your confession, his single red eye reflecting a depth of empathy that belies his twisted exterior.

"You're doing this for yourself and for those who came before," he says gently, stepping closer as if offering comfort despite his monstrous appearance.

It made you uneasy, but you didn't step away. This is one of your friends and the only one you have left...

You fake a smile, "Mhm." You nodded.

Glisten stared at you, admiring you. Feeling a sense of connection with you, Glisten allows himself to relax slightly. For the first time in what felt like ages, he allowed himself to open up.

"There used to be so much life here," he murmurs softly, looking around at the desolate lobby. "People laughing, music playing..."

A melancholic smile tugs at the corner of his mouth as he remembers happier times.

"But now... it's just us." He said rather quietly.

A chill ran down your spine at that sentence alone. You never felt so unsafe with someone you trusted before. You catch a glint of your reflection in his mirror, you make your way to another pipe. He followed you like a lost puppy. You struggle to come up with something to say in response, trying to hide your fear.

"That may be true, but it can always happen again. Even if things seem rather dull right now, it doesn’t have to stay that way forever." You walked over to another pipe, turning the handle, letting the ichor pour into the pipe. Just what was this stuff anyway, and why does Dandy need it so badly?

Watching you guide him towards the pipe, Glisten can't help but admire your determination. Despite all odds, they refuse to give up. "Even amidst this chaos," he whispers, gazing down at the swirling ichor filling the pipe. "You find ways to bring back some semblance of normalcy." His pink eye follows every movement of your hand as it manipulates the pipe handle. "It's... inspiring," he admits quietly, feeling strangely uplifted by their actions.

This didn't sound like Glisten at all, maybe he's just saying this out of fear, or maybe even regret.

"I guess so, I’m not really sure why. Even before all of this, Shrimpo used to bully me for it. He said I was just being stubborn. I think it’s pretty funny at times, kinda like now. I’m not stupid, I see what’s going on around me, but I believe that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I try to think that way anyway.. I have nothing else to lose." You confess to him, you were being honest.

Glisten listens intently as you share your thoughts, a flicker of respect igniting within him. The resilience and optimism in their words strike a chord deep within his own psyche.

"You know, I never thought of it that way," he muses, his gaze drifting to the floor as he ponders your perspective. "Maybe holding onto hope, no matter how slim, is what keeps us sane." He said, which was a huge contrast to his appearance.

You look at him again, as he stares at you with fear and admiration.

Slowly, he raises his head to meet your eyes, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "If anyone can find that light, it's you," he says rather sincerely, his voice carrying a note of encouragement. "And I'll be right here beside you, trying to do the same."

That caught you off guard again, as much as you wanted to bring him with you, you couldn't. Maybe he was saying all of this as a means of survival.

As you stood there silently in awe, the pipe slowly filled with a dark, viscous ichor. You then proceeded to explore the expansive corridors, scanning for additional pipes. He followed you silently, fidgeting with the bonds on his wrists.

Observing your silent resolve, Glisten watches you move around the room, searching for more pipes to fill. A strange warmth begins to spread throughout his chest — a sensation he hasn't felt in quite some time.

"Hey," he calls out after a moment, "Do you want some help?"

As you paused in your tracks, his words echoed in your mind, stirring up a sense of unease. Despite feeling unsettled, you made a conscious effort to conceal your internal turmoil. You managed to mask your inner thoughts with a smile as you turned to face him. "Oh come on, Glisten! The last person that should be working is you, you’re hurt. Focus on resting, okay?" You choked out.

Glisten pauses, considering your words carefully. They carry a weight that he hadn't expected, stirring up emotions within him that were long buried.

"I appreciate your concern," he replies, his tone sincere despite the slight edge of frustration seeping through. "But right now, I'd rather focus on helping you."

You didn't look at him, staring at his reflection through the pipe. He didn't blink, he stared at you.

He stepped closer to you. "And besides..." A soft sigh escapes from between his lips as he gestures vaguely around them at the desolation surrounding them. "...What else do we have left to do?"

"Pipes, pipes, and more pipes. But really, I got this. Maybe if you rest, your body can heal too. So don’t worry about it, okay? I got this." You walked over to the next pipe, turning the handle. Your smile faded when he wasn’t looking.

Noticing your subtle change in demeanour, Glisten remains silent for a moment. He watches them work, admiring their dedication while also sensing their underlying unease. Glisten's eye narrows slightly as he notices the shift in your demeanour, a flicker of understanding dawning on his battered face. He observes you working, his gaze lingering on the focused determination etched across your features. At the same time, he senses the unease simmering just below the surface, a tension that threatens to erupt at any moment. The air grows heavy with unspoken questions and fears, the silence between you two becoming almost palpable.

"Are you alright?" he finally asks, breaking the silence. "It seems like something's bothering you."

His gaze lingers on your face, searching for signs of distress that might indicate otherwise.

"You don't have to keep smiling all the time, you know." he continues gently. "We're in this together." He spoke

There it was again, together. He must've been delirious or something, or delusional. Maybe both! You weren't taking him with you.

".. No, I’m just listening for any noise that may cause concern. The darkness.. I’m afraid of the dark, so I’ve been having to rely on my other senses for comfort in these situations." You confess.

Hearing your admission, Glisten feels a pang of sympathy. Despite everything, their vulnerability touches him deeply.

"That must be hard." He acknowledges, his voice softening even further. But you're braver than you realize. Moving closer, he offers a comforting touch on your shoulder. "Just remember," he insists firmly, 

"We're not alone here. And I promise, I'll do whatever I can to keep you safe." He murmured darkly.

You faked another smile, "Thanks Glisten." The pipe finished filling up, moving on to the next one, the last one. Turning the handle to fill it up.

As you move onto the final pipe, Glisten finds himself drawn to watch them. There's an almost hypnotic quality to their movements, their dedication serving as a stark contrast against the eerie stillness of their surroundings. As you move toward the last pipe, Glisten's attention becomes fixated on your every movement. Something is captivating about your unwavering commitment, a relentless pursuit of survival that contrasts sharply with the oppressive quietude of your environment. His battered form leans against the wall, watching intently as you twist the final handle, triggering another wave of water that cascades down.

"Almost done," he murmurs appreciatively, "And then we can rest."

If only he knew that statement was far from the truth...

A faint glimmer of satisfaction shines in his red eye as he takes in the sight of all three pipes filled with ichor. The sight of the three pipes brimming with ichor elicits a minuscule flash of satisfaction in Glisten's single functional eye.

"But until then," he adds with a tired smile, "I'm just glad you'll stay with me forever, Y/N."

You stayed silent, filling the pipe with ichor, twisting and turning the handle. You didn't want to break him, not now. You knew it was inevitable, but you had to focus on your survival. The silence stretches between you, thick and suffocating, broken only by the rhythmic sound of the ichor-filled water gurgling through the pipes. You maintain your focus, twisting and turning the handles with mechanical precision, your mind numb to the grisly nature of your task. There's a certain detached efficiency in your actions, a desperate attempt to cling to sanity in the face of unimaginable horror. You know what must come next, but for now, you push those thoughts aside, channelling all your energy into the singular goal of survival.

Observing your focused concentration, Glisten allows himself a moment of quiet contemplation. Their steadfast commitment to making the best out of such dire circumstances is nothing short of remarkable.

"Incredible," He cooed. He steps closer, his presence offering a silent testament to their shared struggle.

As your hands leave the wheel, the reality of your situation crashes over you like a tidal wave. You can't bring yourself to meet Glisten's gaze, the shame and guilt gnawing at your insides like ravenous twisted. Your eyes drift downward, fixating on the grimy floor beneath your feet, as if searching for answers in the cracks and stains. The silence between you two is deafening, a physical manifestation of the chasm that has opened up, threatening to swallow you whole. It was all eating at you.

"Glisten?" You asked him, your voice wavered.

Startled by the unexpected sound of his name, Glisten snaps back to attention. His heart skips a beat as he locks his one eye with you, their gaze heavy with unspoken questions and concerns.

"Yes?" He responds softly, leaning in slightly to better hear them. "What is it?"

Your head perked up, turning your head to face him.

".. I think you’re incredible. You do defy beauty. Now, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, alright? I’ll whack them if they try." You said, trying to add confidence to your tone. What was left of your sanity, and confidence felt like it was thrown out the window when the light turned green. Suddenly, a loud shatter noise filled the room. The ichor was consuming Glisten, your unease turned into fear in an instant. Your initial unease morphs into sheer, primal fear as you watch in horror the ichor begin its relentless assault on Glisten's ravaged form. He recoils instinctively, his body tensing as the corrosive substance envelops him, seeping into his wounds and devouring his flesh with alarming speed. Panic sets in, his breath coming in ragged gasps as he thrashes about, desperately trying to escape the inexorable grip of the ichor. Glisten instinctively recoils. As the ichor engulfs him, panic surges through his system.

"H-HELP ME! DON'T L-LEAVE ME!" He stammers out, struggling to maintain control as the familiar intoxicating rush of the infection takes hold. His words trail off into a guttural growl as he loses himself to the transformation.

With a burst of adrenaline-fueled desperation, you sprint towards the elevator, your heart pounding in your chest like a war drum. Behind you, Glisten's frantic cries echo through the corridors, each plea slicing through your already fractured composure. Every step you take seems to drag behind you, weighed down by the guilt and fear that threaten to consume you whole. The chase is a race against time and your own failing sanity.

His one and only desire.

Feeling your retreat, Glisten lets out a low, menacing snarl. His remaining eye blazes with an unholy glow as he struggles to retain his sanity. you crash into the wall trying to make your way to the elevator, causing him to bump into it, trying to catch you. Your head was dizzy, running, sprinting to the elevator!

You ran into the elevator, chasing the elevator doors, you knew at that point, that wasn’t Glisten speaking, but rather the infection of ichor. He was already gone.

As you back away, Glisten's form begins to contort under the influence of the ichor. His yellow appearance darkens, taking on a sickly hue as his once-toon features morph into something far more monstrous.

You jump into the elevator, as the elevator doors slam shut, sealing you inside, you tumble forward, your body crashing against the cold metal walls. You manage to pull yourself upright, turning your head to catch one final glimpse of Glisten's agonized form. His crimson eye blazes with pain and desperation, reaching out his arm to you. The door shut all the way, crushing his arm. You heard his guttural scream of agony, the elevator began to ascend. It pulled his arm down, and he screamed in agony, choking on his spit and the ichor that consumed him. His skin was being crushed by the weight of the wall and elevator, it became too much. The sound of his flesh and bones cracking filled the air, before completely detaching itself from Glisten. His arm lay on the floor, in a pool of ichor.

AUTHORS NOTES: Soooo I'm completely aware this came out of no where, and literally no one asked for this, buuuuttttt I decided to do it anyways, because MAN I love my Roblox games. I also just couldn't get this idea out of my head, hrrrmmmmm!! I know I know, "TAN WHAT ABOUT YOUR SEBASTIAN SERIES!! IM WAITING?!?!?!???!!" YEA I KNOW. I KNOW. But, I did want to write something new, something FRESH as some squids may sayy. So yea! Enjoy!!

[viennakarma]

Satisfaction [Part 2]

PART 2 OF SATISFACTION

Summary: Four times Lewis tried to apologize, and one time he didn't need to.

Word count: 4.3k

Tags: female!reader, apologetic!Lewis (finally), physiotherapist!reader, a little bit of romance, Lewis is trying, reader is more forgiving than the author would be, cursing, a bit angsty, happy ending, not beta read

Relationship: Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Note: I'm so sorry for taking so long with this! I had a writer's block specifically with this one. For everyone who sent me asks about it, I read everything, sorry if I didn't reply to all! Luckily, one dramatic anon sent me an ask saying they would graduate college with a doctorate before this came out, and it made me laugh out loud BUT it actually sparked something in my brain and I managed to write, lol. So, thanks, Dramatic Anon, I owe you one :D

I'm sorry if it's rushed or full of mistakes (haven't had the time to proofread).

Find me on Twitter!

I.

“Hey, Lewis! How are you doing?” Angela said as soon as she picked up his call, and Lewis held his breath before answering.

“Yeah, uh, I’m alright-”, he scratched his face nervously.

“I hope you’re not giving Y/N a hard time anymore, yeah?” Angela joked a little, her voice light.

“Oh. You know about that?”

“Yeah, I called her a few days ago to check in how’s the work and she mentioned you were not very receptive,” Angela said and Lewis noticed that, even saying that, you didn’t call him what he was. A complete prick. “And since she didn’t call again, I assumed things got better between you two.”

“Well, about that-” Lewis sighed, not knowing.

“What?” Angela paused, her voice suddenly serious again.

“She resigned. And it was entirely my fault.” He ripped the band-aid off.

“Lewis, what the actual fuck?!”

“I was awful to her. Way worse than I assume she told you. And before you call me every name under the sun, I need to contact her and apologize. Unfortunately, she blocked my number now, so if you can kindly let me know her address, so I can apologize.”

“You better fix this mess, Lewis.” Angela said before ending the call, as less than a minute later, a text popped up on his screen, your address. Which was in London, not very far from his own neighborhood.

Lewis sent flowers to your place with a small note apologizing and asking you to unblock him. When you didn’t answer and didn’t unblock him, he called the florist he had ordered to double check if you had received the flowers. You did. So you just didn’t want to talk to him. He kept sending a bouquet every day for the next three days. On the fourth day, as he was back home, he decided to go to your place himself.

He brought another bouquet, ringing the bell in your house. He rose the bouquet to cover his face, and he heard your voice, opening.

“Hi there, buddy! If I give you a hundred pounds, would you not bother bringing these flowers here? Just- throw them on the bin or something-” You stopped abruptly as the flowers lowered revealing not the young delivery man who’s been bringing flowers to your place every single day, but Lewis Hamilton himself.

“So you’re not even receiving the flowers?” He asked, sounding hurt.

“I got the first one, and I have no interest in anything that comes from you,” you managed to say, looking him straight in the eyes.

You looked exhausted, your hair was messy and your face lacked any makeup. But worse of all, you looked hurt and angry. 

“Wait, let me just- let me apologize, I can explain even if it’s not-” He dropped the bouquet, pleading.

“Just fuck off, ok? You have not a single reason to be here today.”

“I was an ass to you and-”

“And now we’re nothing. We are just strangers, nothing more, nothing less. Fuck off!” You said and didn’t even give him a second before slamming the door on his face.

II.

So the flowers were a no.

And he wasn’t sure where to go from that, since he couldn’t come up with any other way to make you at least give him a chance to talk.

He was still trying to think of something when he crossed paths with Oscar Piastri during media day. Lewis stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the rookie driver munching on a little protein bar, the package showing it was the same as you had offered him weeks earlier.

“Hey, there, Oscar!” Lewis greeted him, “if you don’t mind me asking. Where did you get this?” He pointed to the little package in his hand.

“Oh, Lando’s new PT! She’s covering for Jon as he’ll be a few weeks on paternity leave.”

“Oh, is she here?”

“At McLaren, yes.”

Lewis nodded, going straight there, not bothering with explaining why he was there just walking in. He found you in a small room with Lando. You were guiding him through a stretching session with a silicone stretching. Lando was telling you something and you were laughing, a hand on his shoulder as Lando pulled his arms in and out.

“-no way you said that! Poor thing, she must have been scared!” You said, then you two laughed.

You were looking healthier than the last few times he had seen you. You looked like you had been sleeping well, and your hair was pretty, and you were wearing make up.

As Lewis approached, and you noticed his presence, you stopped laughing, face getting serious and focused on Lando.

“Oh, hey man!” Lando greeted him, smiley and unaware of the thing between you two.

“Hi. Y/N, can I talk to you? I just need one minute then I’ll leave you alone.”

You scoffed but didn’t look at him, and Lando looked from your face to Lewis’ confused with the tension suddenly so thick he would be able to cut it with a knife.

“Y/N, can you just-”

“You’re all good, Lando. Tomorrow we do another session an hour before Free Practice, and then a stretching session between FP1 and FP2.”

Lando nodded, unsure of what to do so he just watched as you turned away and packed your bag, leaving with long strides through the door. 

“Mate, I don’t know what the fuck you did, because I’ve never seen her be mean ever since I met her. Good luck, though, seems like you need it.” Lando said, leaving to the opposite side.

Lewis muttered “fuck” before going after you. He found you outside the motorhome, and ran up to block your path, but he miscalculated and you ended up running straight into him.

“What the fuck? Dude, just leave me alone!” You tried walking past him but he blocked you again.

“Please, I’m so sorry! Really, I am, I was such a dick to you and you didn’t deserve any of that.”

You didn’t look at his eyes, adjusting your bag as you sighed.

“I just- I don’t understand why you are doing this. I’m no one, I’m nothing. Just go on about your life.”

“No, no- You’re not nothing. I’m really sorry for the way I treated you when all you offered me was kindness.”

“Fine! Ok.” you muttered, seemingly exhausted, “Can I go now?”

He knew you didn’t actually forgive him, so he just let you go because he didn’t want to pressure you into something you were visibly not ready for. It didn’t mean he would give up, just that he needed a different approach.

III.

Lewis managed to find out that you’d stay a few more weeks working with Lando, so he arranged a well crafted plan to have you listen to him.

Desperate times asked for desperate measures.

So he managed to talk Lando into letting him drive you to the track that weekend, you two would have time to talk on the drive. He waited behind the wheel watching as you went to the backseat to leave your bags, then you opened the passenger door, smiling and chatting. But you stopped smiling as soon as you sat down and noticed him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, sounding more annoyed than angry.

“I’m your ride to the track today.”

“I’d rather not,” you muttered, removing the seat belt you had just put on.

“There’s no one else to take you there, please, just let us go,” he asked softly. You sighed, putting on the seat belt again and he smiled reaching the cup holder and offering you a cup of coffee, “got you a coffee.”

“Thanks,” you took it begrudgingly, but as you took a sip, you noticed it was your favorite, “how do you know I like this coffee?”

“You told me, during one of our sessions.”

“I thought you weren’t listening to a single word I said,” you scoffed, almost disdainful. He took it, because taking your anger was little compared to what he did to you.

“I listened to you.”

“Weird way of showing, then.”

You stared at the road he was softly driving. You didn’t like his company, that much was clear, but he was on a mission, and he would be damned if he wasn’t going to properly apologize. 

“I don’t even know why you treated me like trash,” you muttered suddenly, sniffling like you were trying to contain the tears, “just- I was so happy, you know? I’ve always been a fan of Formula 1, watched it growing up and everything. Then I get here all happy to achieve the greatest dream and I just get treated like shit from day one. I tried to be funny, I tried to be kind, I tried to be silent, and none of it worked. I don’t understand what you want from me now! I’m a person too, ok? I get sad and frustrated, and I have my own problems, but I don’t go around making everyone else’s lives shit just because I’m mad!”

“Yes, you are right. I treated you like shit when you never deserved it. I really regret it, for what it's worth,” He sighed, looking at you for a moment before focusing on the road, “my life was shit. I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth. I was just coming out of a relationship that I thought meant a lot to me, and I just lost Angela, who is one of my closest friends, and I was on the verge of losing my seat. It felt like everything was going wrong for a few weeks.”

That made you pause, turning to stare at him.

“What do you mean, losing your seat?” You sounded genuinely curious, and even a little worried.

“The negotiations for a new contract weren’t going ahead, and I was really worried Mercedes was going to get rid of me.”

“But you’re like- one of the GOATs! Why would they lose you?” Now you sounded exasperated, like you couldn't believe that. 

“Well, now everything is alright and signed, but it felt like I was really at risk back then.”

You stayed silent for a few minutes, mulling over his words, trying to wrap your head around his excuses. You were thoughtful the rest of the drive, until Lewis pulled up in a parking lot at the track. Finally, you nodded to yourself.

“I forgive you, Lewis. Just- Don’t do that to anyone ever again, it’s not cool,” you said, unlocking the seat belt, “thank you for the ride and for the effort in apologizing. Goodbye, Lewis.”

You took your bags from the backseat and left after waving at him again. It felt like a closed chapter to you, and you could bury whatever resentment you felt towards him. It was freeing in a way.

IV.

Lewis didn’t see you for a couple more race weeks, despite casually walking in front of McLaren’s garage and hospitality. He couldn’t catch a glimpse of you and he genuinely worried that your last goodbye was definitive.

Fortunately he saw you again late at night after a race. Almost everyone had left already, and Lewis had a long debriefing meeting with his team, so it was sheer luck to find you on the way to the parking lot, where you were standing against the wall, hugging yourself under a big coat and holding your bags. You seem worried and unwell.

“Hey,” he said, trying to sound like he wasn’t ecstatic to see you again, “are you ok?”

“Yeah, um- I missed my ride back to the hotel, so I’m trying for an uber or something,” you said, but Lewis unnoticed how you were pale and your lips looked dry.

“Are you sure you’re ok? You look like you’re about to pass out.” He pointed, and you breathed in, slowly. You felt very, very cold, with shivers up your body that you miserably trying to contain.

“I’ve got a little fever,” you mentioned, finally. Lewis raised his hand and touched your forehead, feeling it way more warm than a little fever.

“Little fever? You’re burning!” He exclaimed, putting his own Mercedes coat over you, then taking your bags and putting them over his shoulder, “Come on, I’ll give you a ride back.”

“You don’t have to, really-”

“I’m not leaving you here in the late hours of the night while having a fever! Now, come on!”

He held your forearm, worried you’d stumble and fall or something. With a big umbrella to face the rain, he guided you to his car, where a driver was waiting. The two of you sat on the backseat as Lewis instructed the driver to take you to the hotel.

“Should we take you to see a doctor or something?” Lewis asked.

“No, don’t worry, I already took an antipyretic. It should work soon.”

Back in the hotel, Lewis accompanied you up to your room even when you wanted to refuse, but he said he was worried, and it felt honest, so you let him take you up. He didn’t let you say anything as he pushed the door of your room and walked you inside.

“Are you still feeling cold?” He asked.

“Yes,” you put your bags away, but you watched as Lewis went into your luggage, “um- excuse me?” you crossed your arms, annoyed at him going through your things.

“Change into this, it will keep you warm,” he tossed you a sweater and matching pants, “I’ll ask room service for soup, so you can warm up.”

Huffing, you went into the bathroom and changed, glad because you were in fact a little bit warmer. You wore socks for the cold and got into bed, where Lewis helped tuck you in, pulling the duvet tight around you.

“Why are you doing all this? We’re just strangers, Lewis.” You shook your head, watching as he walked around the bed and sat beside you over the duvet.

“We’re not strangers, and I wanted to help,” he shrugged.

“We are strangers, we know nothing about each other,” you muttered.

“Well, I’m Lewis, my favorite color is purple and I have a dog named Roscoe,” he said which made you chuckle a little, “there, not strangers anymore.”

“Well, I’m Y/N, my favorite color is yellow and I don’t have a pet yet, but hopefully soon.”

Lewis eyed you carefully.

“I know you’re with McLaren on a temporary contract, so I was wondering if you’d be willing to come back to Mercedes after that,” he said, slowly. You sighed, shaking your head.

“I won’t go back, Lewis.” You said softly, for him to know you weren’t angry anymore, but the world had spun, life went on…

“But- Ellie said you were such a big fan! It’s ok if you don’t want to work with me anymore, I’ll understand. But I don’t think it’s fair that you lose your chance in such a big dream because of an asshole like me!”

“There are always other dreams to have, Lewis. When a door closes, others may open,” you untucked your arm so you could hold his arm in comfort. He held your hand, and when he felt your cold hand, he rubbed it softly, to warm you up.

“It’s not fair-”

“Lewis, I’m moving to Madrid in a few weeks.”

He stopped, visibly deflated hearing your words.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve never-”

“Lewis, it’s not because of you,” you pushed the duvet, freeing yourself so you could sit up beside him, backs to the headboard, “I got an amazing offer from Real Madrid. I’m gonna join their PT team.”

“Oh.”

His stomach dropped once again, thinking that life would lead you two different paths, new future, new plans, and Lewis won’t even be able to make it up to you through time as he was hoping for. Lewis expected that, with you coming back to Mercedes, he would have time to apologize with actions, more than just words.

“They’re my favorite football team, and I’ve always dreamed of getting there,” when you noticed how down he was with the news of your departure, you pressed his hand a bit more, “I told you there are many dreams to achieve.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry about it if I hadn’t been so-”

“That’s enough, Lewis, it has nothing to do with you. This is my choice, something that I also dreamed of. It’s not the end of the world. If anything, there are lessons in what we went through.”

He wanted to ask you to stay, to give him and the Mercedes dream one more chance, but he knew it would be selfish of him to ask that. And he wasn’t willing to be selfish with you anymore. He would only have maybe a few more weeks with you, that he intended to nurture a friendship with you.

When your soup arrived, he stayed and watched you eat, and you thanked him profusely as the meds started working and you felt the fever dissipating.

V.

Lewis ended up going back to McLaren to find you all the time. Sometimes he brought a coffee for you, some other times he just wanted to invite you to lunch, or he wanted a protein bar, and after almost two weeks of that, his excuses ran dry and he only said he wanted to check on you. and he had been checking on you for a couple more weeks now.

“So…” Lando muttered with a knowing smirk, “you and Lewis, uh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, as you spotted Lando from behind, analyzing his squats.

“You went from hating him to becoming his friend pretty quickly,” Lando pointed.

“And…?”

“I don’t know but he’s here all the time to see you.”

“Nah, he’s just passing by.”

Lando let go of teasing you and switched topics to talk about something else for the remainder of your session. After you finished and Lando went for the post race debrief, you were getting ready to leave when Lewis found you again.

“What do you want?” You squinted your eyes at him. Lando’s teasing voice still in your head.

“Moody, are we?” Lewis joked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“Lewis.”

“Fine, fine! I’m taking you to dinner later today, ok?”

“Are you asking me out or demanding?” You frowned, pretending to be moody.

“I’m inviting you and implying I’m not taking no for an answer,” He winked.

“Lewis, I don’t think we-”

“Think of it as a farewell, celebratory dinner, yes? You’re leaving so soon to Madrid! Pretty please?” He joined both hands like he was begging.

“Fine. Stop pouting.” You rolled your eyes and he giggled, before leaving.

He texted you two hours later saying he was coming to pick you up. You dressed cozy and comfortable, since it was absolutely not a date. He texted you to let you know he was downstairs when you were finishing with your hair. As soon as you got in the car, you checked Lewis’ outfit.

“Is this ok?” You asked, pointing at yourself.

“It’s perfect.”

Lewis drove for forty minutes to the next town over. In the end, he took you to a cozy restaurant, small, a little cramped but so familial and cozy. You two sat in a corner booth, far from the windows. You went over the menu as Lewis explained that this place’s food tasted homemade and they also had vegan options, so he always went there whenever he was in that part of Italy.

You told Lewis everything about your move, how you had found a great apartment close to work, how you had enrolled in Spanish classes to start a month after your arrival, and everything.

After a hearty meal and chatting a lot, you two decided to go for a walk to eat some ice cream. The air was windy but not very cold, so you just walked side by side a little late at night.

“Are you sure nobody will see us?” You looked around to see if anyone had recognised him or had taken pictures.

“Yes, it’s very discreet in this part of town. Besides, it’s a little late, so not many people are around.”

“This is a very good gelato, Lewis! Thanks for taking me out today.” You muttered as the two of you walked around a big, dark park. You stood under a lamp post, finishing the last of your ice cream.

“How are you feeling about Madrid?” He asked you, looking interested.

“Nervous. Excited. I don’t know.” You whispered, smiling, you held the lamp post and let it take your weight as you flung around, all smiley because of the bit of wine you had at the restaurant, “It’s like a new adventure. You know when you’re about to do something that might be risky but gratifying? You’re scared but you have to-”

As you completed a full 360 around the lamp post, you were met with Lewis walking up to you and kissing you. He pressed his lips to yours, firm but tender, and it took you a while to assimilate what was happening. You held his coat and pushed him away only enough to break the kiss. The lime gelato kiss that had your stomach full of butterflies, and your heart beating almost out of its cage.

“Lewis-” you shook your head, still confused.

“Sorry, I- I just couldn’t pass on the opportunity,” he sighed and his breath fanned your cheek.

“We shouldn’t,”

“Why not?” He raised one hand to cradle your face, his thumb running your cheek.

“Because we started too messy. And- and I’m leaving soon. We don’t need to complicate things.”

You whispered, still not pulling away fully. You wanted it, so bad. But you knew you couldn’t get tangled in a messy situationship right before leaving. He was tempting, but you weren’t willing to risk whatever time was left of your silly little friendship.

So you took a step back. Still, you took his hand in yours, letting his warmth engulf you.

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat, but you just smiled at him, seeing how he was memorizing your face, and how your eyes were shining bright for him.

“It’s ok. Just, wrong place and wrong time, right?”

He gulped, nodding.

You didn’t kiss again, but Lewis held your hand the whole drive back to Monza.

Understandably, Lewis didn’t come back for your last week at McLaren. Despite being a little hurt about his absence, it didn’t really upset you, deep down you knew that it was better like this. The distance would make the goodbye easier for the man who wormed his way into your life. The whole team at McLaren gave you a farewell cake, which was sweet considering you were just a temporary hire.

You had tears in your eyes saying goodbye to the team and to the formula 1 track.

After that, you went back to London to finish packing, and shipping a few of your furniture and belongings. The dinner with your family and closest friends was filled with tears, and you finally caught up with Angela, explaining everything that had happened.

When the day came, your parents and siblings took you to the airport and you said goodbye with teary eyes and a heavy heart.

You were about to board when a sudden commotion caught your attention, and from between the crowd Lewis Hamilton emerged, running towards you as if he were in a marathon. Confused and shocked, you waited for him to get closer, and as soon as he stopped in front of you, he held your face with both hands and pulled you in a kiss. After two seconds, you returned the kiss, deepening it by opening your lips. He devoured you for a couple more seconds, before pulling away when you were both panting.

“Lewis? What the fuck?”

“This doesn’t have to be a goodbye, right? We can- I don’t know, we can figure it out,” He muttered, face close to you.

“Lewis,” you hesitated, “I’m moving away. We’ll spend most of out time in different time zones-”

“Wouldn’t you like to try? It’s better to try than spend our lives haunted by what ifs” His argument was convincing. And the fact that he was just centimeters from your face, and the fact that you had just kissed and his cologne was divine… Very tempting.

“Lewis, the next time you cause a scene in front of an entire airport, I’m killing you,” you whispered, pecking his lips once more as the crowd dissipated of people boarding the plane.

“I wanted it to be memorable, like a romcom.”

“You’re annoying, that’s what you are. You’re lucky you’re handsome” You rolled your eyes, but Lewis could still see the big smile on your face, eyes glinting.

“Is that a yes to my question?”

“One date, Hamilton. And we’ll see where it will go from that” You smiled, pushing his chest, taking a step back.

“I’m going to Madrid as soon as the triple header is over,” He promised, pulling you close again by the waist.

“You better! I don’t know, maybe I will meet a handsome Spaniard,” You joked, playing hard to get. You closed the distance so you could whisper in his ear, “You better work if you want any prize, pretty boy.”

He gasped at your seductive words, and you pushed him away. He smiled at you. Pulling one of his necklaces, he put it around your neck, a pearl one, very beautiful. The airport called all the passengers for the flight.

“A promise. Yeah?” He said, holding the necklace softly.

“Yeah. See you soon?” You nodded.

“See you soon.”

He watched as you walked away, and before boarding, you turned around and blew him a kiss. He laughed, pretending it hit him right over his heart.

TAG LIST: @mirrorball-6 @chanshintien @icysdiary @nat-lh-44 @aphroditeisamilf @sugardontbesweet @nonsensical-nonsence @slytherheign @luv4kani @18754389 @lorarri @verew @honethatty12 @smartstupyd @moonraysworld @chanelxreid-blog @gemini5991 @comfortzonequeen @blue1amory @soryuwifeyxx @anangelwhodidntfall

[pitchsidestories]

and they were roommates II Keira Walsh x Reader

Masterlist I Word count: 1977

A/N: it's based on the result of our survey we did at the beginning of January. We hope you guys enjoy how the oneshot turned out. ☺️

“Ale, hurry up. We don’t have much time until they come back from training.“, Mapi yelled across the apartment. Alexia rolled her eyes while she set the table in the kitchen; “That’s easier said than done with your and my knee.“ “Frido might come and help us too. Did you get the roses?“, the defender continued while rushing around her team mate.

With a glance to the clock, she replied; “The delivery driver will be here in ten minutes.“ “Perfect.“, Mapi smiled. Right at the same time, Fridolina joined her teammates in the apartment you and Keira shared; “Hi, girls.“ “Did you get the candles?“, Mapi greeted her impatiently.

Nodding, Fridolina placed a tote bag filled with candles in different shapes and colors on the table; “I didn’t know which you wanted so I brought a bunch of different ones.“ “I like them all.“, Mapi commented delighted as she carefully took the candles out and placed them on different surfaces.

Alexia disappeared for a moment, just to return with a large bouquet of red roses; “The delivery driver is here with the roses.“ Fridolina handed her glass vase while Mapi excitedly rubbed her hands together; “So now we can decorate.“

She turned towards the little white dog that Lucy brought over earlier and petted her between her ears; “Narla, we’ll need you soon too.“ “Sweet of Lucy to have Narla help.“, Fridolina smiled. While Alexia placed some of the roses on the table, she nodded; “Agreed, Keira and Lucy handled their separation pretty great in general.“ “I agree.“, she Swedish teammate replied.

“Ale, didn’t you want to prepare the dinner?“, Mapi changed the subject once again. The injured Barcelona captain shrugged; “I didn’t trust us to do that so I ordered that too.“ “Okay, Lucy just texted that they’ll be coming soon.“, Mapi remarked which caused Alexias eyebrows to knot together as she checked her phone again; “Tell her to distract them a bit longer.“ “Alright.“, Mapi agreed, typing quickly on her phone before returning to decorate the apartment.

At the same time, FC Barcelonas evening training had just ended. You took a few sips of water and tried to suppress a yawn. Lucy and Ona joined in the dressing room; “So, where do we do it? At yours or Onas and my place?“

After seeing your confused face, Lucy followed up with; “Remember, we four have to host the next team event.“ “Yours.“, Keira answered quickly while she pulled a sweater over her head. You agreed; “Yes, easy. Your balcony is bigger.“ “Why not at your place?“, Lucy asked, with amusement in her voice.

Keira gave Lucy an annoyed look; “No, this way we can leave at anytime.“ Lucy snorted; “That’s the most Keira answer I have ever heard.“ “Hey!“, Keiras expression changed from annoyance to mock offence.

With a sigh the defender made her an offer: “Fine, you can think about it again. We can decide on that next training.” “See you two soon. Wait. When do you want to pick up Narla tomorrow?”, the defensive midfielder asked the older player.

Casually Lucy waved it off:” I’ll text you tomorrow morning. Thanks for dogsitting again.” “You’re welcome, we love to have Narla with us.”, you reassured her. In a genuine tone she replied: “Appreciate it.”  “But now we really got to go, Narla is surely hungry. Bye girls.”, impatiently Keira pulled you with her.

A bright smirk was on the older woman’s face: “Bye, have fun.”  “Lucy, stop, they’ll get suspicious if you say it like that.”, Ona scolded her girlfriend. “Just go, Ona.” “Fine, but you almost spoiled it.”, the younger Spanish player added, hitting her arm playfully.

You were excited to greet a waiting Narla when you entered the appartement you shared with your friend:” Narla, hi! Wait, where did you get that rose?” Surprised you pulled the flower carefully out of the dog’s mouth. Confused you took a closer look to your surroundings:” Wait. What’s all of this? The candles? What’s going on here?”

Equally astonished Keira observed:” We even have food on our table.” “Is this something like a reverse break-in?”, you asked your roommate. An amused smile appeared on the midfielders’ lips: “If the intruders are called Ale, Frido and Mapi, yes.” “You think it was them?”, you wanted to know from her.  

Slowly Keira nodded: “They left a card.” Quickly you were reading what they wrote on it, before you looked up to your friend:” They did.. wait, this is supposed to be a date?” “Yes, they wrote it’s supposed to be a candlelight dinner.”, the midfielder blushed. Irritated, your fingers went through your hair:“Okay?” “Oh my god.”, she exclaimed.

Your heartbeat automatically quickened by her reaction:“What?” “Read the card until the end.”, Keira answered, hiding her red face in Narlas fur.  Following her request, you cursed under your breath: “What the hell were they thinking. I just think it’s ridiculous and dangerous. I mean leaving Narla alone in here with the lit-up candles.”

“It’s but Narla is a smart dog and I guess they had good intentions.”, your teammate tried to sooth you. After a deep sigh you gave in: “Let’s eat before the food gets cold and it was all useless.” As you both were taking your seats Keira discovered the bottle which was standing on the table only waiting for the moment to be opened:” Sure, do you want some wine to it?” “Sure, why not? Let’s make it a real candlelight dinner.”, you told her.

Skilfully the midfielder filled the two wine glasses before speaking a toast:” Cheers to the best roommate I ever had!”

You took your glass and tilted it towards Keiras; “I can only give that compliment back.“ “Thank you.“ A slight blush spread across Keiras cheeks. You smiled at her; “I mean it.“ “I do too.“, your roommate and current date replied.

After a short break, she gave you a curious look; “You don’t believe me, huh?“ “No.“, you replied, hiding your smile in your wine glass. “Because of Lucy?“, she asked. Your face immediately turned serious again; “Oh, no. I can tell you’re over it.“ “Good, because that’s the truth.“, she nodded, searching your eyes over the bouquet of flowers on the table. “I know…“, you answered gently.

Keira cleared her throat; “Besides…“ “Yes?“, you prompted her to go on. “There is someone in the team.“, Keira continued, her voice wavered with nervousness. Surprised, you repeated; “There is?“ “Who makes my heart flutter.“

Excitement spread to your body as Keira announced those news; “You’re in love? Tell me who it is!“ “You don’t know who?“ The midfielders expression was somewhere between amusement and bewilderment. You feigned disappointment; “Of course not. You haven’t even told me that you have a crush!“ “Might be because I spend most of my time with my crush.“, Keira explained, the blush on her cheeks deepening.

You frowned, taking a second to think about it; “You mostly spend time with Lucy or me. Oh, is it Aitana?“ Quickly, Keira shook her head; “What? No, we’re just friends.“ “But you’re close with her, so I thought it could only be her.“, you shrugged. “To be fair, your guess was not too bad.“, Keira laughed lightly. You shook your head, clueless; “I don’t know what to do with that hint now.“

“It’s you.“, Keira said plainly. You were taken aback by this reveal; “Me?“ “Yes.“ Your thoughts were spinning, your brain started connecting the dots. Embarrassed, you hit your hand against your head; “Oh of course. That’s why we’re having a date here.“ “But I swear I didn’t know anything about it. Aitana didn’t tell me.“, Keira interjected hastily.

As soon, as your caught up with your thoughts, you couldn’t suppress a smile; “They know us well. Genius to do it here, so none of us can leave.“ “Yes, they know that as homebodies, we feel most comfortable at home.“, the midfielder agreed. “I think it’s a perfect date. If you’d asked me out for this, I would have definitely said yes.“, you grinned.

Keira took her sip of her wine before innocently asking; “Sooo, you’d date me?“ “Yes.“, you nodded, not missing a beat. Your roommate mirrored your smile; “I’d date you too.“ “Lucky for us because we already are on a date.“, you joked, raising your glass. Keira clinked hers to yours; “Right.“ But instead of taking a sip, she stood up from the table; “Wait, I’ll put on a record to make it more romantic.“ “Go ahead.“, you laughed while watching her put a new vinyl on your shared record player.

Cheerfully Keira asked:” More wine?” “Please. Mapi texted that they left dessert for us in the fridge.”, you told her grinning. The midfielder squealed delighted as she brought the dessert to the table: “Oh my god, I love them.” “Is that a heart shaped cake? That’s a bit cliché, isn’t it?”, you commented.  

Amused Keira added: “They really wanted to make sure we understood the message, huh?” “As if the roses weren’t enough.”, you smiled at her. Giggling your roommate remarked: “The girls are just so romantic.”

“Can I cut you a piece of cake?”, you offered her. Happily, the midfielder nodded: “Yes, thank you.” “Here you go.”, you said while placing the heart-shaped dessert on your friend’s plate. Afterwards you got yourself a slice of the cake and Keira took her first bite of it, admitting:” The cake might be cheesy but really good.”

The unusual awkwardness between you two seemed to have melted away, because in the next moment her lips were on yours. The kiss being as sweet as the treat. When you stepped away you couldn’t help but to reply:” At least it’s not cheesecake.” “True but that’s cheesy enough.”, the fellow football player winked at you.

A smirk was all over your face as you said to her:” No one appreciates my puns like you do, Keira.” “I know.”, the midfielder shrugged.  Beaming, you couldn’t help but to speak your thoughts immediately: “Maybe we should have been forced to date a whole lot earlier.” “No regrets tonight let’s enjoy that moment.”, Keira reminded you. “You’re right.” Thoughtfully your teammate took a sip of the wine:  “Yes, we learned a few things in our 26 years on earth.” “We did.”, you agreed.

Cheekily, she looked directly at you:” Like life is too short to not date your roommate.” “Life’s too short to first date and hen move together. We did it the other way around.”, you observed.  Triumphantly Keira hummed: “We did.” “Keira? Let’s not tell them that their set-up date worked yet.”, you asked her to keep this between you two for now.  “So, we keep them a bit in the unknown? I like that.”, the midfielder replied. The smile stayed on your lips: “I knew you would.”

On your next team event which indeed took place at Lucys and Onas home you were all watching a movie together.  As you reached the middle part of the film Keira got up announcing:” We’ll get more popcorn for all of us.” “Okay.”, Aitana answered smiling. “We will?”, you whispered to hear. Confidently the English player took your hand and led you to the kitchen: “Yes, come on.”  

You used that private moment for a few more kisses you were holding back in front of your teammates, but they didn’t escape the gaze from Lucy. The older defender squealed:” Girls, it worked!” “Of course, it worked. We planned it all  out for them.”, Alexia waved it off.  Open mouthed Aitana looked up to the two women:  “Wait, you did what?!”  “Nothing.”, Mapi replied innocently.

But that became the evening everyone in your team knew you were more than just roommates. Just as in the history books when women lived together anything was possible like finding love in the four walls you called home.  

[jedipoodoo]

Better Late Than Never (Sergeant Hunter x Pregnant!Reader)

Notes/Warnings: Labor and delivery, descriptions of pain and birth, Hunter wants to be a Good Dad, divider by @stars-n-spice

"I don't like this," Hunter said.

You placed your hand on his tattooed cheek, and he held it there, closing his eyes as if he would fall asleep right then and there.

"It's one more job, Hunter. Just a simple smash-and-grab. You'll all be back before you know it."

Hunter looked over his shoulder at Omega in the cockpit with Wrecker and Tech prepping themselves for the impending mission. He could no more leave them to this assignment on their own than he could leave you alone.

Well, not totally.

With a heavy sigh Hunter lowered himself to his knees so he was facing your belly. He pressed his ear to your tummy and listened for a moment. The baby's heart beat in time with yours, embedding itself in his memory.

"Hold on for just a couple days, okay?" He whispered to your child, "Be good for your mama, and just wait for me, okay?"

You carded your fingers through Hunter's satiny locks, and he looked up at you, eyes big, and bottom lip twitching as if he was going pout about leaving you.

"Baby's still got a bit to cook before they're ready to come."

"But how can you be sure?" Hunter begged, standing up and taking both your hands in his.

You rolled your eyes and kissed the tip of his nose.

"It'll be fine, Hunter. Don't worry about it."

"Hunter," Tech called from the cockpit, "We are coming up on the target."

Hunter sighed, and his shoulders slumped as he mentally relented.

"You'll be alright?"

"I'll be alright."

"You'll comm us if anything goes wrong?"

"I will."

"You have your breathing exercises and the medical equipment?"

"Hunter," You warned as the ship descended smoothly through the atmosphere.

Hunter kissed your forehead gently, then paused, licking his lips as he thought.

"You'll be alright?" He asked one more time.

You nodded. "We'll be alright."

You were not going to be alright.

You'd been having contractions on and off for weeks, so when the contractions started in the middle of the night, you brushed it off and went to sleep (with the perimeter alarms set, of course).

But now, hours and hours later, the contractions hadn't stopped. In fact, they were slowly growing closer together.

"Easy, easy," You said, forcing yourself to relax.

You were supposed to comm Hunter. You promised him you'd comm if anything went wrong.

You checked the chronometer. Only an hour until they were supposed to be back. They'd be back any minute, you knew it. It wouldn't do Hunter any good to comm him while he was on his way back, it would just put him into a frenzy, and the others didn't need to deal with that.

One more hour.

You'd be alright.

Three hours later, and the others weren't back yet. You forbade yourself from worrying. So what if they got held up? They'd made it out of worst cases with worse odds. They'd be back any minute.

You should have commed Hunter. Or should you wait for Hunter to comm you? You didn't want the signal to get picked up by someone else who could track the signal back to you, or worse, the others.

Another contraction started, the wave of pain cresting almost immediately. Where had Tech put the pain medicine again?

You switched on the comm, struggling to keep your breathing even so that Hunter wouldn't panic the moment he picked up. But instead, all you got was static.

Kark.

"Hunter?" Maybe the connection was just a bit fuzzy. He had to be there. He was always there.

"Hunter," you tried again, "Dinner's almost ready, how soon will you be back?"

Nothing.

You pulled yourself out of the bunk, using the wall and the chairs for support as you searched for the medicine cabinet. Would regular pain meds work? Was it too early to take the pitocin? You needed to see what was going on down there and how far along you were, but the only mirror on the ship hung on the wall in the refresher, and there was no way you could do the gymnastics for that right now.

You'd read through the birthing procedure several times, but all of it jumbled together in your mind and all you could focus on was the pain. You needed relief, you needed this baby out.

But not yet. Not like this. Not without Hunter.

You exhaled deeply, and the contraction passed. It was going to be alright.

"Hang on there," You whispered, patting your bump, "Just hang on a little bit longer."

You commed them every hour, begging them to pick up, but no one did. Not even Omega. It had been too long. They were hurt, in trouble. They wouldn't have gone this long without sending you a warning. Something had to have happened to them, to Hunter.

Crying made breathing harder, so you tried not to, but the tears kept running down your face. Kneeling at the side of the bed with your knees spread helped alleviate some of the pain, but you could feel the baby getting closer.

You clutched the comm in your hand, and dialed again.

"Hunter, please, let me know you're out there. I can't hold off much longer. I need you here. Please."

You couldn't wait anymore. This baby was coming whether or not Hunter was here.

Another contraction. This time, you pushed, but it didn't feel like anything happened.

"Oh come on!" You screamed to nothing and no one in particular. The frustration with the whole situation was starting to bubble over.

Another contraction started immediately after, and you pushed again, screaming as loud as you could. Now that felt good.

"Cyare!?" the comm crackled to life, and you froze.

"Hunter!" You gasped in relief.

"Are you okay? What the hell was that!?" He demanded.

Before you could tell him, a third contraction began, and you had to scream again. You didn't feel any closer to having the baby out of you, but the screaming at least felt like you were doing something about it.

"Hunt, you gotta hurry," You tried to tell him everything before another contraction overtook you, "The baby is- AUGGGGH!!"

Hunter said nothing. Not that you were coherent enough to respond, but you wanted him there, to comfort you, to promise that everything would be alright. But after that one blessed interaction, the comm stayed silent, with not even a flicker of static.

"Hunter?"

In answer to your question, Hunter burst into the hold of the ship. His armor was scorched with blast marks and dirt, and there were leaves and twigs stuck to his hair. His helmet was nowhere to be seen.

"Hunter?" Your jaw dropped, but you hardly had any time to be shocked by his appearance. Hunter knelt at your side, and took your hand.

"Still got a while to cook, huh?" he teased.

"Shuddup and- AH!"

You seized his hand in a bone crushing grip, and although Hunter winced in pain, he refused to complain.

"Where... where are the others?"

Hunter carefully stretched out each finger as your grip loosened, making sure none were broken.

"They were behind me, I'm not sure how far. The whole area was covered by a signal scrambler, so as soon as we had the target I had to get out of range to check in with you."

You nodded dazedly, only half-listening, but it seemed as though they weren't in too much danger.

"Ch-check, look down there, how far along am I?" You whimpered.

He held your hand while he looked.

"Holy kark," he inhaled sharply.

"What? What is it?"

Hunter laughed, "I can see the head, it's full of hair."

"No wonder I had so much heartburn," You rolled your eyes.

Hunter lifted your hand to his lips, kissing it gently, "You've done amazing so far, Cyare. I'm here now."

Your lip trembled, and you leaned into his chest with a sob.

"It hurts so much," you whimpered.

"I know, Cyare, I know," he crooned gently. He wrapped his arm around you, kissing the top of your head.

"Next contraction, push. They're almost out, I'll catch them."

You nodded, "Just let me... Rest a moment..." you clutched his shirt, begging him to let you stay in his arms.

Hunter held you for as long as he could, gently stroking your head and humming a lullaby. But as soon as you tensed up, he knew another contraction was coming.

"Push sweetheart, I got 'em."

You were still kneeling at the side of the bunk. Your knees were killing you, so you pushed yourself up to get your feet beneath you so you were in more of a crouch, spreading your legs to give baby plenty of room. Gritting your teeth, you dug your fingers into the mattress and pushed.

"That's it, Cyare, that's it!" Hunter cheered you on through the contraction.

"How far?" You gasped.

"They came out another inch!"

"An inch!?" You screamed. This was going to take forever.

The universe seemed determined to make your birth experience as difficult as possible, because Hunter's attempt at encouragement was smothered beneath the sound of blasterfire a short distance away.

Hunter froze.

"Is there any chance you can hold it for a bit longer?" From the nervous tone in his voice, he was intimately aware of just how stupid his question sounded.

"Are you kriffing serious?" You still glared at him.

"Hunter, would you mind starting up the engines?" Tech asked over the comms, completely oblivious to your predicament.

"A little busy right now!" you both shouted.

Hunter growled in annoyance, "They're being followed. We'll have to make a quick getaway-"

With that, Wrecker stumbled on board carrying a large chest that seemed to be the target Cid had sent you to trade for.

"They didn't like that Cid tried to short-change 'em!" He boasted with a grin, helmet balanced atop his head.

"I believe they also recognized us from when we intercepted the lizard from them several months back," Tech added, slowly backing up the stairs with a blaster firing in each hand, "Omega, cover for me."

Omega laid down cover fire, allowing Tech to slip into the pilot's seat and activate the shields. The whole ship trembled as it took off, and you moaned in pain.

"Whats up with you?" Wrecker asked.

Hunter shoved him in the direction of the gunner's tail, "Get us out of here, Tech! The baby's coming!"

"The baby's coming!?" Everyone shouted at once. They all turned to look at you to see if it was really true, and Hunter began to bark orders when they didn't move fast enough for his liking. Tech would pilot the ship, Wrecker would man the turret, and Omega walked you through your breathing exercises. She even brought over Lula for emotional support.

"I hate this," You growled. A jolt from the ship would have knocked you off of your delicate balance if Hunter wasn't holding you in place.

"Just hold on, just until Tech can get us into hyperspace, then it's smooth sailing from there."

"Don't you dare jinx us!" You snapped. With each hit from an enemy ship, it felt like the baby was being shook loose. Hunter assured you, however, that baby was right where they were supposed to be.

The moment the Marauder lurched forward into hyperspace, you screamed as loud as you could, desperately pushing baby out.

"Keep going, Cyare, just keep going!" Hunter urged, one hand on your hip to hold you steady, and the other waiting to catch the baby in his palm.

"HAAAAHHH!" You pushed with all your might. You wrapped your hands around the rungs of the bunk ladder to hold yourself up.

"Can I see?" Omega tried to inch closer to get a better view, and although you were wearing a nice long pregnancy tunic, it was hiked up to your waist to facilitate the birth, and you had never felt so embarrassed to be in such a state in front of anyone but Hunter.

"Hunter, if you would allow me to-"

"Is it here yet?"

Everyone started talking at once and you snapped.

"GET. OUT!"

Omega and the boys froze at your request.

"You heard her," Hunter said firmly, "Get out, give us some space. We'll let you know as soon as we want company."

"But-" Omega sounded incredibly disappointed.

"Now!" you warned. Wrecker pulled her into the cockpit and shut the door, leaving you in blissful silence but for the humming of the ship.

"Remind me to never get you angry," Hunter mused. Your return quip was lost as his thumbs gently massaged your hip bones, gently easing your pelvis open to allow baby more room.

"Almost there, Cyare. Can you give me one more big push?"

"I can't -" you gasped breathlessly. Tears rolled down your cheeks as your head lolled back, catching on his shoulder.

" 'S too much, too much," You whimpered.

Hunter nodded, but said nothing. He'd never been through what you were at this moment, but he understood how you felt. The oversensitivity that was simply seen as a side effect of his enhanced senses was overwhelmingly painful. When that happened to him, he always turned to you. You'd hold him, hum to him, giving him something to focus on besides the pain.

Hunter pressed his cheek against yours and began to hum, his soothing tenor soothing over all the worries and fears running through your mind.

"You're just too good to be true.... Can't take my eyes off of you..."

You relaxed a little bit, and Hunter crooned his approval.

"Just... One more push?" You asked.

"One more, Cyare. You ready?"

You nodded, and Hunter gently guided your hands to the mattress for you to hold onto. Your legs were wobbly, but Hunter had one hand at your back to hold you up, and the other waiting beneath you to catch the baby. Lula was laying on the bed next to your hand, and you tucked her under your arm, trying not to cry as you thought of the way you snapped at Omega.

When this contraction hit, you were ready.

"Push, Cyare, push!" Hunter said.

You screamed a battle cry, not worrying if the others heard you.

"Yes, yes that's it!"

There was a gush of all things wet and sticky puddling at your feet, and suddenly the pain and pressure was gone, leaving a dull, insistent ache behind.

"Is... Is that it?" You gasped, heaving deep breaths. It felt as if it had ended all too quickly for how much you'd labored and how much it had hurt.

"You did it!" Hunter was at you side, briefly kissing your cheek before he disappeared. The room was quiet and everything seemed to still, until the room was filled with the sound of a baby's cry.

Your head dropped into your arms as your tears of pain turned to tears of joy.

"Ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes and ears..." Hunter quickly looked over your baby to ensure they were healthy, all while gently wiping them down with a clean cloth.

You lowered yourself to your knees, landing in the puddle of blood and body fluids that came out with the baby

"I-I meant to put down towels... I wasn't even thinking-" Your fuzzy post-labor brain was almost taken over by disappointment in yourself, but Hunter returned to your side, his eyes shining with joy.

"It's alright Cyare. Our daughter's here, and you did amazing," he said.

"Our daughter?" You gasped.

"Hello ad'ika," You whispered, reverently gathering her into your arms, "Hello there."

Hunter held out his scarf, wrapped around a wriggling little thing. She had her father's curls and dark skin, tinged with pink. Her eyes were screwed shut as she whimpered.

Mindful of the baby, Hunter leaned over, crowning your forehead with a ring of kisses, "And hello Mama," he hummed playfully, "That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen you do, and I've seen you wrestle a wookiee."

You laughed, feeling lightheaded, "Thank you for your help."

"Nah, Cyare, that was all you."

"She's so tiny," Omega gasped, as if anything louder would shatter the delicate thing resting in your arms.

"She won't be for long," Tech said in his usual brusque tone as he took the baby's vitals, and yours, "When was the last time that you ate?"

You flushed as your stomach rumbled painfully, "I didn't even think about food..."

"Looks like she didn't though!" Wrecker guffawed as he waved towards your daughter.

"She eats like a starving wookie," Hunter said reverently. He placed his arm around your shoulder, cradling the baby's head of downy hair in his free hand.

"She could give Wrecker a run for his money," you sighed. Your wonderful husband handed you a protein bar and his full canteen. It was hardly the luxurious first meal most women dreamed of eating after they gave birth, but you weren't complaining.

As the baby nursed insistently, you leaned against Hunter, struggling to stay awake.

"Should we let you sleep?" He rested his cheek against your forehead.

You shook your head, "I can't stop watching her," You said, "She's just perfect."

"Enjoy it while you can," Tech said, leaning over to try and do another test. Hunter batted his hand away.

"You can take this up later. She needs rest."

Tech huffed, "Very well, if you insist."

Hunter gave a look to Wrecker that conveyed the same tone, and Wrecker ushered Omega away to give you three some space.

"Any ideas?" You asked Hunter, referring to the elusive perfect name for your daughter.

He shook his head, eyes glued to the baby like yours. He continued to run his fingers over her satiny curls, but you saw him bite his lip nervously.

"Hunt, are you okay?" You gently tapped his chin to draw his attention and he gave a jolt in surprise.

He shook his head, "I just...I can't believe I almost missed this."

"Oh Hunt," You said.

"I should never have left you like this. I told Cid we needed a break so that we could take care of you."

"Hunter I told you to go. We need the money she'll pay for this." You waved to the trunk Wrecker had hauled onto the ship.

"What's in there anyway?"

Hunter gave you a deadpan look, "Three guesses, and the first two don't count."

Ah, spice. You nodded slowly. You knew Hunter agreed that this was not the kind of life you wanted for your child, despite the fact that it was miles better than the one your daughter would have on Kamino.

"We need a better line of work. One where I don't leave you for days on end," Hunter said, pulled you against his chest so he could rest his chin atop your head.

Baby girl decided she'd had her fill, and milk dribbled down her chin as you cleaned yourself up. Hunter helped you settle her against your shoulder with a rag to catch the spitup.

"We'll figure that out later. We've managed this so far, right?"

"Right," Hunter still sounded uncertain.

"And you didn't end up missing it, right?"

Hunter sighed, "Right."

Baby hiccuped, and by the way Hunter's nose scrunched, she'd burped.

"Here, hold your daughter."

"You're sure you don't want to?" Hunter asked, even as he cradled the tiny thing in his skilled hands.

"I've held her for nine months. I am more than happy to let you have a turn."

Hunter chuckled, "Better late than never, huh, ad'ika?"

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

The Eggplant (The Surprise, Part 18)

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: nightmares, mentions of Emily's fake death, mentions of past sexual trauma (nothing graphic though), discussions of birth/delivery times (let me know if I've missed anything!) Word count: 2.1k

Summary: You've always struggled with sleep and nightmares, but the third trimester is making it worse than ever. Thankfully, Emily is always there to calm you down and take your mind off the bad dreams.

Note: I know the gif is the man that we can't stand! But it was the most appropriate one! Just use your imagination! Replace him with reader!

Week 28: The Eggplant

You jerked awake, gasping and flailing, struggling to sit up against the weight of your baby bump. Sweat pooled in the dips of your collarbone and at the nape of your neck, dampening the soft strands of hair that rested there.

You blinked in the darkness, sucking in great gulps of air, feeling for Emily next to you. She was already up, already pressing her hand into yours and squeezing your palm, already drawing you into her chest, holding you protectively.

“Hey, hey,” she cooed, “it’s okay. You’re alright. It’s just a dream.”

Your heart raced, and you snaked your arms around Emily’s waist, burying yourself in her. You coughed, your breath still caught in your throat. She ran her thumb gently along the side of your face, wiping away the tears that lingered from the dream.

You’d always had more vivid dreams–and more often–than the average person. As a child, you’d even been diagnosed with a sleep disorder characterized by horrific nightmares. It had faded, but not gone away, as you grew up. After a lot of trial and error, you’d discovered that taking ashwagandha supplements before bed largely put a stop to the nightmares.

But you weren’t allowed to take ashwagandha while you were pregnant or breastfeeding. You’d been lucky until now–the nightmares had been few and far between, despite not being able to take your usual sleep aid. But when you hit the third trimester, they’d come back in full force. Almost every night, horrifically realistic, so terrifying that you were often scared to go back to sleep afterward for fear the dreams would resume. You’d tried melatonin, Benadryl, Tylenol PM, Unisom, and doxylamine. Tonight, you’d tried magnesium. The only thing it’d done was make you have to get up and take a shit in the middle of the night.

Your heart rate was slowing, but your body still shook. You grasped onto Emily’s t-shirt desperately, as if it was the only thing tethering you to the world. Sometimes the dreams involved your family. But most often these days they were about Emily.

“I guess that’s a no on the magnesium, huh?” Emilly whispered, her breath warm at the top of your head. “You want to talk about it?”

You let out a shaky breath, holding her just a bit tighter. “You died again,” you said, your voice so soft she almost couldn’t hear you. You were afraid to speak it into existence.

You could see Emily’s face without seeing it. Always wracked with guilt, always heartbroken. She always told you that going into WITSEC after Doyle, letting you and her team believe she was dead for nearly a year, was the worst thing she’d ever done. There had been no way around it; you knew it and she knew it. You didn’t like to bring it up, didn’t like to make her feel bad. She’d done what she had to do to protect herself, and as much as her fake death had devastated you–destroyed you, even–you couldn’t bring yourself to hold it against her.

“It was Doyle,” you whispered into her neck. “He made me watch.” You shuddered, and Emily grasped your face in both of her hands, turning you gently so she could look you in the eyes. She brushed a strand of hair out of your face and sighed.

“He’s dead, honey,” Emily said firmly. “I will never do that to you again.”

A tear ran down the side of your face, part of your brain still stuck in the dream, still watching Doyle hurt Emily again and again. Emily wiped it away, replacing it with a kiss.

“It’s okay, baby,” she reassured you, her heart aching to see you so scared. “I’m okay. I’m safe.”

“I’m sorry, Em,” you choked out, more tears coming now. It was three in the morning. You were on your second week of waking up terrified every night. Emily always got up with you. She had to be tired. You were exhausted. “You should go back to sleep.”

“Nope,” she protested lightly, drawing you down to the bed with her, pressing your face to her chest. “No crying, come on. It’s okay. You’re up, I’m up. Shh, just let me hold you, alright?”

You leaned into her touch, relishing the way her fingernails felt against your scalp, the weight of her arms around you, the steady rhythm of her heartbeat, the up and down of her breath.

“What’ll help?” she asked. “You want to get your mind off it? Think about something else?”

You nodded, sniffling.

“Alright,” she yawned, stretching a bit to reach inside the drawer of her nightstand. She pulled out her tablet, the light from the screen making you blink.

“What are you doing?” you asked, blinking.

“We might as well get something done, if we’re up,” she said, cradling your head in the crook of her elbow, so that she could manage the tablet and keep you close at the same time.

She opened a Google doc that she’d titled Birth Plan.

“Birth plan?” There was a series of questions and fill-in-the-blanks on there, as if Emily had copy-pasted it from another website. “I thought the plan was to have the baby. That’s the birth plan.”

She pinched at your stomach, and you giggled, squirming. “No, you dork. There’s more to it than that. And I’d rather us make the decisions now, so when you’re in labor, freaking out, we don’t miss anything.”

“I think you mean when you’re freaking out during labor.”

You watched her roll her eyes and smiled. You loved teasing Emily.

“Okay, well, regardless of who's freaking out, we need a plan. So just… lay your pretty head down and answer my questions, okay?”

You kissed the inside of her arm and nestled yourself comfortably against her. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Alright, let’s see…” Emily said, brows furrowed, biting at the corner of her lip. Her thinking face. She meant business. “Full name and pronouns, I already know that. Partner’s name and pronouns… Due date, provider… I can fill all this out without you.”

“So then, the birth plan really is just have the baby?”

“No!” Emily insisted, scrolling. “Here. Here’s some you can answer. Have you ever… had group B strep?”

“No.”

“Been previously diagnosed with genital herpes?”

Your face went beet red. “Jesus, Em! No!”

She smirked. “I know, I just wanted to see you blush. Uh… do you have Rh incompatibility with the baby?”

“I don’t think so? I feel like Dr. Delgado would have mentioned it by now.”

“I’m putting no. Gestational diabetes?”

“No.”

“Fear of needles?”

“No, not really.”

“Have experienced–” Emily stopped suddenly, her voice stuck in her throat.

“Experienced what?” you prompted. When she didn’t answer, you poked her leg with your foot. “Emily, experienced what?”

“It’s okay,” she mumbled. “I can answer that one for you.”

“Well, now I want to know…”

“It’s fine, Y/N. Let’s just move on.”

“No, Em, I want to know!”

She sighed and bit at one of her nails. You furrowed your eyebrows and took her hand.

“Have you ever experienced birth trauma or prior sexual assault,” Emily read, her voice soft.

“Oh.”

You were both quiet for a moment, your thumb running over Emily’s knuckles. “Well, I guess you did know the answer for that one…” you said, trying to lighten the mood. “Let’s keep going.”

Emily shook her head a bit, as if clearing clouds. “Uh… delivery plan… I’m assuming vaginal?”

You nodded. “What are the other options?”

“C-section or water birth.”

You shivered. “Yeah, definitely vaginal. I think I’d cry if I had to give birth in a kiddie pool.”

Emily cracked a smile, and you were glad to see her getting back to herself. “Who do you want in the room with you?”

“You.”

“Well, yeah. Anyone else, though? Your mom?”

“Just you,” you confirmed, kissing her hand.

“Whatever you want,” Emily confirmed, continuing down the list. “Do you want any music played?”

“Screamo.”

Emily laughed. “Can you imagine?”

“Alright, I’ll settle for punk.”

“I’m putting TBD,” Emily decided. “Okay, this next part is a big, long checklist, so just say yes or no, I guess.”

“Okay,” you agreed. Your heart rate was almost back to normal, your breathing calm and even as you snuggled into Emily. You were starting to feel sleepy again, and were trying not to fight it, not to let yourself get scared again.

“Lights dimmed?” Emily asked, making her way down the list.

“Uh… I guess so?”

“Room as quiet as possible?”

“Minus the punk music, yes.”

Emily fought off a smile, running a hand absentmindedly through your hair. “As few interruptions as possible?”

“...Yes?”

“As few vaginal and cervical exams as possible? Yes.” Emily’s voice grew quiet again as she read this one, and you squeezed her hand to let her know you were okay. “Hospital staff limited to my doctors and nurses only? I’m putting yes for this one, too. I don’t want any fucking students in there watching.”

You yawned, closing your eyes as you pressed your cheek against Emily’s chest. You were having a harder and harder time staying awake.

“Do you want to wear your own clothes?”

“Yes,” you mumbled.

“Your glasses?”

You looked up at her, confused. “As opposed to what? Loaner glasses?”

Emily shrugged. “No glasses, I guess?”

“No. I can’t see shit without my glasses. The baby would just be a blob.”

“So yes to your glasses… Do you want me to take pictures?”

“Of me giving birth?!” you exclaimed. “No!”

“But you’ll look so beautiful!” Emily argued.

“I’ll look like a hot plate of shit,” you shot back. “In fact, I might actually shit myself during labor. I don’t want any photographic evidence of that, thank you.”

“Fine,” Emily grumbled. “Putting no. Would you like to stay hydrated with clear liquids and ice chips?”

“What kind of question is that?” you asked, fighting off another big yawn. “Of course I want to be hydrated.”

“Do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know. Depends on how long it takes, I guess.”

“There’s no box for maybe,” Emily observed.

“Make a box, then, Emily. Jesus. You work for the FBI.”

“Mean…” she mumbled.

“Sorry. I love you.” At this point, you were half-asleep, Emily’s voice far away, as if you were underwater.

“Do you want me to catch the baby?”

“Catch the baby? What are they tossing it?”

“No, like… as he’s born.”

“As she falls out of my vagina?!”

“...Yeah.”

“Not really. I want you up with me so I can squeeze your hand and yell at you.”

Emily was quiet, and you grabbed for her hand, blinking your eyes open.

“Unless it’s important to you,” you told her. “If that’s something you want to do, then by all means.”

“No…” Emily thought out loud. “But I think I’d like to cut the umbilical cord, if that’s okay with you?”

You nodded, getting comfy again, sleep infringing on the edges of your consciousness.

“Do you want him placed on your chest right away?” When you didn’t answer, Emily prompted you again. “Y/N?”

She looked down to find you conked out, snoring softly, your arm wrapped around her stomach, legs entwined with hers. She smiled softly at you and kissed the top of your head, sneaking her hand under the fabric of your shirt to rub your back.

“I’m putting yes,” she whispered, typing quickly then turning off the tablet and setting it gently on the nightstand, careful not to shift too much and wake you.

Emily adjusted the covers so that you’d be nice and warm. She wasn’t a praying person, but she hoped against hope that you’d sleep through the rest of the night. You had huge circles under your eyes from so many nights of restless sleep. Emily was used to running on little sleep, but you weren’t. And you were growing a baby. You needed more sleep than usual, and you weren’t getting it.

She pressed her lips to your head again and again, making sure you were secure in her arms. She couldn’t go into your head and fight off the nightmares for you, but she could make sure that if and when you woke up, you felt safe right away. She could make sure she was there, make sure that the moment you gasped awake, you felt Emily next to you–real and alive and warm and very, very here.