#and then when isla was gone . yeah

[sage-is-in-fact-very-tired]

the fun part about being the icarus poster is that so often any ic thought I have is somehow based in canon or could relate back to and make sense in canon. and today's specific thought is Icarus and hoarding behaviors - not like severe ones but ones that are noticeable. and don't ask me where this thought came from but it happened.

cause okay on one hand you have bird. like icarus is a bird-ish, and they are known in canon to have bird adjacent behaviors. Stereotypical, birds are / can be known to hoard things like food and stuff of that sort.

on the other hand, which would hypothetically contribute significantly more to this, is how Icarus grew up + how their life has gone. They started out as a prince. Typically, princes have access to a whole lot of things, anything they could want, even. Especially considering who Icarus' father is. After that, they were living with their mom and brother, where they had *significantly* less access to those things that they may have wanted. Then there's the years they were alone with just Rae and . they probably didn't do great during that. You have when Fable came by, which probably gave them more access to things but not as much as before, and then you have the teenage on the run period. And then the resets and . Then Quixis. Like slowly over the course of Icarus' life things were just incrementally taken away from them. Please look at that and tell me it doesn't make sense for them to start taking everything that they can get and find valuable and not being willing to part with it . like. In my mind this makes sense because they were on the run so long they just- started stockpiling, but at some point its not *just* stockpiling anymore . or something. like okay you go from having everything (for a few years) to something (for most of your mortal life) to nothing (for *multiple* millenia) and then back to something again and tell me you wouldn't start trying to hold only everything you get and hoarding it because you had nothing for *so long* like. I feel like this before quixis this was pretty down low and kinda tame but after quixis it got- not bad bad, but you can definitely tell they're doing it more than they did before - I'd that makes any sense? like I know what I mean .

anyway . I love thinking thoughts and being like "oh that came out of left field" and then cooking and going . "wait." /silly

[trippinsorrows]

looking through your eyes + twelve

authors note: ya'll remember the theme song from wizards of waverly place? 'everything is not what it seems'? yeah....remember that.

also, don't cuss me out for the ending, pleassseeee.

shoutout to the lovely @fearlesschimera for helping me with the italian translations! ❤️

if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!

cw/tw: violence against women, scene of dv, slight fighting? language, angst, fluff, sexy time scene aka mild smut

song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes

masterlist

words: 10k (unhinged)

So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights laid out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder

And I, I had a feeling that I belonged

I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

Nina’s singing and subsequent light laughter is what tears away Solana’s focus from her artwork. Turning away from the paper on the dining room table, she angles her body in the chair, swinging her legs around as she watches her mom dance around the kitchen.

Nina’s voice is soft and melodic, a nice compliment to the singer whose name Solana can never remember despite this being one of her mom’s, if not thee, favorite song.

Without thinking twice about it, Solana climbs off the chair and runs up to hug her mom from the side.

Nina’s smile grows even more as she looks down at her only daughter. “Mija.”

Solana looks up, big eyes reflecting the same amount of love and adoration. She responds in her mom’s native language. A ‘secret’ little thing they do in times like this where her dad and brother are gone. Communicating in only a way they can understand. 

“I wanna dance with you, mommy!”

Nina’s laughter is similar to her singing and speaking voice. And it’s infectious too, Solana joining in as Nina playfully spins her around. “Then dance with me, mija.”

Solana doesn’t need to be told twice. And maybe it’s less dancing and more moving around in a way that represents the happiness both mother and daughter feel in this moment. A brief little thing, something that happens in small to medium doses infrequently. 

But when it does roll around, the both of them capture and hold onto it with all that they have. 

When the song finishes, Nina turns down the music system as she redirects Solana to her art. “Can I see what you made?”

It’s a question she already knows the answer to. Solana nodding furiously as she takes her hand and guides her over to the table. Pointing, Solana explains, “look, mommy, it’s you and me!”

Nina gasps quietly. Even at seven, her daughter seems to have a gift with the arts. Reading, writing, and drawing. It hurts her sometimes that she can’t feed it more. That she’s limited to so little resources when it comes to helping Solana better her craft. 

Nina lifts up Solana and sits down in the chair, her daughter on her lap. “It’s beautiful, mija. You’re so talented.”

The complement brightens Solana’s smile. “Just like you, mommy!” Solana lifts up the page, offering additional explanation. “See, that’s you and me at the Play—playa—”

Nina helps her out, “Playa Norte, Isla Mujeres?” 

Solana nods. “That!” 

A brief sweep of sadness overcomes her with memories of home. Memories of simpler, happier times. Her children still bring her a sense of fulfillment, but it’s often weighed down by the trauma of everything else. “Oh, I wish you could see the water, Sol. It’s so beautiful, so clear. It’s like heaven on earth.”

Solana looks up at her with all of her naivety and innocence. “We can go there one day, mommy, right? Just you and me?”

Her throat constricts at Solana’s question. Nina doesn’t have it in her to expose her young child to the ugly truth. “Of course, baby.” She brushes some of Solana’s hair back. “What about your brother?”

It’s not missed upon her how the mention of Wesley makes Solana’s smile dim. “He doesn’t like us….”

“Oh, baby…” Nina brings her hands to gently cradle Solana’s face. “He does. It’s just your father….your father tells him things about us that’s not true, but he does like us. He loves us just like I love you and him. I love you both so much.”

There’s not enough time in the world or ways that she can say it to truly exemplify just how much she means it. Even with Xavier doing everything he can to keep her away from her son, it doesn’t extinguish her love for him. 

If anything, it just makes it stronger. 

The sound of the garage doors lifting brings Nina back to her crushing reality, from her brief escapism. “He’s home.” Wide eyes dart to the kitchen as she realizes dinner is still about twenty minutes out from being ready. “Come, mija!” Nina jumps from the table and is quick to gather all of Solana’s artwork. She knows how this will play out, and she refuses to allow him to destroy Solana’s work the same way he often does her own. Reaching it to her, Nina hurriedly advises, “go to your bathroom, lock the door, and don’t come out until I come get you, okay?” Trembling hands reach Solana the CD player and headphones. “Don’t take these off, you hear me?”

Solana’s smile is completely gone, her eyes watering, “he’s gonna hurt you, isn’t he?”

Nina swallows back her sob. “‘Don’t worry about me, Solana. Just do as I say, okay?” The sound of the door to the garage being ripped open alerts her to just how pressed for time they are. With all of the urgency, she pleads, “go!”

And despite everything in her wanting her to stay, to help, to do whatever she can, Solana does as she’s told.

Rushing up the stairs, Solana doesn’t stop until she’s in the bathroom. She locks the door and falls on the floor, back up against it, eyes watering even more.

She moves as fast as she can to put her headphones on, but it’s not fast enough. She can’t make out specific words, but it’s not needed to know and hear her father’s angry yelling followed by the pained wails of her mom. Glass breaking, items being thrown, Xavier’s screams of unbridled fury.

That’s when the dam breaks, tears spilling out of her eyes as she hits play to sound out the noise that never really goes away, never really stops haunting her, from making her chest feel so full and heavy.

This….this is the soundtrack to her life. 

Solana isn’t unsure how long she sits there, working so hard to drown out the cries and screams of her best friend. Long enough to where she falls asleep only to be woken up by the same woman whose shouts of terror unintentionally and tragically lulled her to sleep.

The first thing Solana notices is the blood, followed by the puffy, blackened area under her right eye. Still, her mom is only focused on her, hand under her chin as she asks, “are you okay, mija?”

The tears return as Solana is face to face with the result of her father whose anger knows no bounds. “Mommy….”

“Don’t cry, baby.” Nina pulls Solana against her chest, braving the pain coursing through her body, particularly her ribs. “I’m—I’m okay.”

She hates lying to her daughter, feels almost sick with herself for gaslighting her. Solana is wise and perceptive. She knows that her mother is far from fine.

“What if—what if one day he hurts you real bad?”

Nina wasn’t expecting this question, wasn’t expecting her young daughter to ask something she herself has thought about from time to time. 

What happens when Xavier finally takes his beatings too far?

Shoving away those dark thoughts, Nina shows Solana her inner forearm. “What is this, Sol?”

Solana wipes at her eyes and focuses on the beautifully, dark inked hummingbird tattoo on her mom’s skin. “A Hummingbird.”

“That’s right.” Nina wipes at her tears. “And what did I tell you about Hummingbirds? Hmm? What do they mean to our people?”

Solana sniffles and explains in a quiet voice. “They’re messengers from the spirits in heaven.”

“Exactly, so that means even when people leave us in one form, they’re still here in another. Still here even if they look a little different.” Nina’s voice cracks a bit as she promises, “I’m always with you, Solana. No matter what.”

Emotion building back up, Solana thrusts herself against Nina and cries into her chest. “Why can’t we leave, mommy?” She looks up, full of confusion and fear. “Then he can’t hurt you anymore.” Nina swallows. “We can run away where he won’t find us!”

Nina has a hard time holding back her tears. A dream. That would be a dream. If she could somehow escape this hell, take her children from this nightmare. But, it's just that, a dream. Because this is the life they live. This is her reality. 

And there’s nothing that can change that.

Not without her putting her children’s lives at risk, because Xaver has made it abundantly clear in a variety of violent ways what will happen should she ever be “stupid” enough to think she could leave.

“Listen to me, Solana.” She wipes away the tears of her sweet child. “This…what your father does to me….it’s not love, and it’s not okay. I don’t want you to ever let a man treat you that way.” It feels almost bitter leaving her mouth, the amount of hypocrisy she feels at saying such a thing. If only she could practice what she preaches. “You are so special, and your heart is so big.” She places her hand over Solana’s chest. “This is your biggest gift, and you must always be careful who you share it with. Because yours is extra special.” She presses her lips against Solana’s forehead. “No matter what, never forget that life is a gift. You are a gift, Solana.” Her eyes shut, absorbing all the love and comfort. “My sol.”

________

Memories of much darker, sadder times have unintentionally become a motivating factor for Solana during training. She finds a sort of strength and fuel at reflecting on times from the past where she was bogged down with such fear. 

Now though, it’s not as much fear as something else that’s unfamiliar but not unwarranted.

Anger. 

It’s what helps and almost keeps her on her feet and in the game as she spars with Bayley, knife in the back of her shorts. It’s the first time she’s done as such, practiced training, practiced fighting, with that little thing that’s caused her so much pain throughout her life.

But now, she’s the one with the blade, with the ability to use it against someone else vs it being used against her. 

It’s a different feeling, still uncomfortable, but also empowering in a strange sort of way.

Naomi is on the side, calling out various tips and reminders as Solana is able to successfully avoid certain hits and attacks from Bayley. She knows her friend is still holding back a bit, but not nearly as much as she did in the beginning.

Solana slightly appreciates that.

She feels….she feels good almost knowing that the progress she’s made isn’t because it’s been given to her. It’s been earned.

And unbeknownst to her, there’s an audience observing the sparring, an audience that consists of none other than the twins, Nia, and her husband who watch from the balcony above.

Roman had a meeting with Nia earlier in the day, hence his presence at the Warehouse, but staying after to silently observe Solana while she trains wasn’t necessarily on the agenda. It just happened.

Much to the chagrin of Wise Man who once again tries to remind Roman of what he already knows. He clears his throat, nerves big and evident, “sir, I hate to interrupt, but we do have to meet with—-”

“I’m aware.”

Paul swallows, closing his eyes as he sends up a prayer, asking for mercy. “Of course, sir, but—but, if we don’t leave now—”

“The meeting will start whenever I arrive, and I’ll get there when I get there.” Roman’s dark, irritated gaze falls on his chief advisor. “Is that understood?”

Paul straightens, more than familiar with that look. The look that can be followed up with an act of violence. “Y—yes, my Tribal Chief.” 

With that shit straightened out, Roman easily falls back into the almost trance he’s in watching her. 

Updates with her progress from Naomi and Bayley have been one thing, but it’s another to actually see her in action. 

See the precision and speed in which she moves. She seems almost….in her element.

A far cry from the terrified mess she was when he first met her.

She’s coming into her own, and he loves to see that shit. 

But, it’s when Bayley lands a particularly harsh blow against Solana, one that has her holding onto her face that Roman steps forward. A fresh wave of anger comes over him at the fact that Bayley could be so stupid to hit her so hard. She should fucking know better. 

Who the fuck does she think she is to hit Solana?

He’s stopped, however, when Nia extends her arm across his big body, preventing him from checking on his wife. 

He turns toward her, and if looks could kill, she’d be dead. “Move.”

She rolls her eyes, unbothered, motioning for him to continue watching. “Wait.”

Roman has no fucking intentions on waiting. Not when Solana could be hurt. He’s going to tear Bayley a new one for that. Why the fuck would she hit her so hard?

But, it’s as he’s watching and sees Bayley move toward Solana to check on her, that he realizes why Nia may have stopped him from acting too prematurely.

Because Solana is suddenly no longer doubled over. She’s bringing her knee up to Bayley, forcing the other woman to double over from some level of pain. But Solana doesn’t stop. She instead uses her leg to swipe Bayley off her feet, sending her into the ground.

Solana pounces on top of her, forcing her on her stomach. Straddling her, a fist full of her hair as she yanks her head back and brings the knife up to her neck.

Roman smiles.

Around him, the twins start to make a whole scene.

“Oh shit, okay Soso! I see you girl!”

“Alright, sis! That’s how you do it!”

Roman watches as she drops the knife almost immediately but not before she smiles, emotional almost, while being cheered on by Naomi who runs over and hugs her from the side. Solana laughs as she stands up, Bayley also jumping up, joining in the celebration.

“You know, it’s not very often that I'm wrong, but I gotta admit.” Roman turns to Nia who also looks a level of impressed. “I was wrong about Princess.” Nia chuckles. “Girl’s got some fight in her after all.”

Roman doesn’t say anything, but that’s not out of disagreement.

Solana might be one of the strongest people he’s ever met.

And it has nothing to do with what he just witnessed.

Nia continues, announcing, “I think she’s ready to advance to the next level.”

Roman has his own definition of what that is, but he’s slightly curious about Nia’s take. “Which is?”

“She needs to start training with a man.”

He nods. They’re on the same page then. “I’ll talk with her about taking over—”

“No.”

“Excuse me?” Nia has always been outspoken, but there are some days he has to remind himself that she’s family. Because her smart ass mouth on anyone else would have them six feet under.

“She’s comfortable with you. It needs to be with someone she doesn’t know.”

And this time, Roman is the one shooting it down. “No.” To make Solana train and fight with a man, a stranger at that, seems like it would be triggering for her. In no way, shape, or form will he let that shit happen.

Nia, however, seems intent on just that. “Look, four months ago, I would agree with you, but look at what that girl just did. She grounded Bayley, Roman.” He looks away, running his hand over his face. “She’s come a long way, and to stop her now would only be a disservice. You’d be hindering her.” When he says nothing, mostly because he knows she has a point and he hates that, she continues. “And I’d say have Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum do it, but she seems to be comfortable with them too. For some reason.”

Jey finishes chewing his snack, most likely a creation by Solana, asking with all the obliviousness, “hey, what’d you say?”

Roman ignores him while Nia rolls her eyes. “You’re a stubborn bastard, Roman, but you’re not stupid.” He looks at her. “You know I’m right.” 

He turns away,  watching as Bayely and Naomi talk to Solana, clearly providing her additional instruction. He’s focused on Solana. She looks so….relaxed. So in her element. It’s such a far cry from the first time he met her.

She’s almost like an entirely different person. This causes him to sigh loudly. 

Nia is correct. He’d be hindering the growth that’s got her to where she is today.

And that’s something he could never forgive himself for.

“I’ll talk to her.”

________

Bayley: If ya’ll could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Solana is taking a brief break to check her phone, mainly for any texts from Roman, when Bayley sends her message in the group chat that the three of them share.

Naomi: Ooooh, Bora Bora! Heard it’s beautiful!

Bayley: Nice! I’d say the Maldives. 

Bayley: Solana?

It’s a good question that she doesn’t really have the answer for. 

Solana: Idk. I’ve…I’ve never been out of the country, so it’s hard to say.

Naomi: Seriously? Never traveled at all?

Solana: No. 

Bayley: So then there definitely has to be someplace! 

It takes a minute for her to really think about how to respond, because her initial instinct is to double down on her first answer. But, it’s when her memory from earlier in the day returns to the forefront of her mind that she finds herself being more open than she anticipated. 

Solana: Playa Norte, Isla Mujeres. It’s in Mexico. My mom always said the water was so beautiful. 

And that they would visit someday.

That never happened though.

It never happened because she was murdered before she could make the dream come true. 

An uncomfortable blanket of sadness comes over her, forcing Solana to put her phone down and resume her work, an effective distraction. 

She grabs a set of books that need to be restocked and makes her way over to the appropriate aise when she overhears low sniffles.

Frowning, she places the books down on the cart and follows the sound of the sniffles that sound a lot like someone crying. It's when she moves to the next aisle that she finds the source.

A little girl. No more than 6 or 7. She’s sat up against a row of books, little legs pulled up to her chest as she cries into her knees.

Solana’s frown deepens as she slowly approaches the child, leaving enough distance to not startle her. Solana knows better than most the detriment of being taken off guard when already upset.

“Hi there.” Her head snaps up, and right away Solana is met with striking blue eyes that are blurred with tears and an emotion Solana knows all too well.

Fear.

“It’s okay,” she comforts, intentional about keeping her distance and voice soft. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

The little girl who, in a strange way, reminds her a lot of herself with her light complexion and russ brown hair that’s a combination of curl patterns, stammers with a response. “My—my mommy and daddy said I can’t talk to strangers.”

Solana smiles warmly. “Your mommy and daddy are very smart.” Staying where she is, Solana slides down onto the floor. She brings her legs to her side and offers her name. “My name is Solana. I work here in the library.” Wanting to earn some level of trust, Solana informs, “I really like to read.”

Her eyes light up a bit. “You do?”

She nods, keeping her smile. “My mom used to read with me all the time. Does your mommy ever read with you?”

The little girl nods and wipes at her eyes. “Yes. Daddy does too sometimes, but he works a lot.”

Solana’s smile dims a bit. She can both relate and not relate. Her father was never really home, and she preferred it that way. But when he was….it was hell. 

Using the opening, Solana asks softly, “where is your mommy?”

She hesitates, and her bottom lip trembles a bit, but she ends up explaining her presence. “I was walking outside with mommy, and I saw a butterfly, and—and I wanted to catch it, but then I got lost.” She starts to cry as Solana puts the pieces together, realizing she ran off, got lost, and maybe ventured into the library to ask for help. Or to cry in a safe space.

Solana gets that too.

“It’s okay, sweetie. I’ll help you find your mommy, okay?” 

The offer seems to settle her emotions a bit. Solana watches as she wipes her eyes and almost asks in a hopeful tone. “R–really?”

Solana smiles again and nods. “Of course.” She stands up, not moving from her spot but offering her hand. “You want to come with me?”

The little girl nods and stands up, slowly walking up to Solana and taking her hand. She looks up, sharing in a slightly more confident tone, “my name is Emma.”

“That’s a very pretty name.” Solana gently squeezes her hand. “Now let’s go find your mommy.” 

Solana notes how Emma squeezes her hand back. It warms her heart.

She guides Emma toward the steps, careful to not walk too fast, mindful of the fact that Emma is still, wisely, very cautious of the fact that Solana is still a stranger.

Solo meets Solana at the bottom of the steps, his unkind gaze falling on Emma who hides herself behind Solana.

Looking down, she advises her, “it’s okay, sweetie.”

Solo rolls his eyes, gesturing with his chin. “Who is this?”

Solana looks back at him, answering while intentionally not providing a name. Emma provided Solana her name, not Solo. “She got separated from her mother. I’m gonna help her find her.”

He scoffs. “Ain’t that what the police is for?” 

Frowning, Solana finds herself defending her actions. “She’s already scared.”

He cuts his eyes, voice sharp as she reminds her of his role. “My job is to protect and watch you. Not some random badass kid—”

“D–don’t call her that.” Anger. Solana finds herself growing angry with Solo’s disposition. A rare emotion for her. But, she can’t stop thinking about the scared little girl clinging onto her leg, finding some form of comfort in her. She can’t stop thinking about how she used to be that little girl. How she used to cling onto her mother for comfort. 

Until she couldn’t.

“I’ll help her by myself. I—” Solana swallows. “I don’t need your help.” 

The library is in neutral territory. She should be fine to walk up and down the street to help an innocent child without the protection of someone Solana is realizing really doesn’t want to be there in the first place.

Gently encouraging Emma to follow her, Solana leads the little girl out the double doors of the library and onto the busy sidewalk.

Solo never comes after her.

And in a weird, sort of unfamiliar twist that she doesn’t really understand, Solana prefers it that way.

She prefers Solo not toggling along, his negative energy not interfering and exacerbating Emma’s fear.

Leaning down, Solana asks, still with that gentle smile, “do you remember which way you came from?”

Emma frowns again, shaking her head. “N–no.”

“That’s okay. We’ll just look left and right.” Straightening up, Solana decides to go to the left first, knowing that there’s a kids boutique a few doors down. It seems like a good place to start. And it’s while walking, Emma suddenly asks a question that literally makes Solana feel like she’s gotten the wind knocked out of her.

“Are you a mommy?”

Solana hasn’t the slightest clue why it takes a second for her to answer such a basic question. The question, in terms of complexity, is simple and can be answered with a single word. But everything else with it is…..not easy. Because she has no idea why her tone suddenly shifts to something sad as she finally replies.

“No.” And before she can think about what’s leaving her mouth, before she can even process what she’s saying, Solana adds, “not yet.”

It takes a lot for Solana to not backtrack, to try to offer some explanation that probably wouldn’t make any sense to such a young child why she was taking her answer back. But beyond that, there’s a part of Solana that doesn’t want to take it back.

She doesn’t want to take it back because….because maybe it’s the truth. 

Emma looks up with a small smile, revealing a missing front tooth. “You’re gonna be a nice mommy.”

Her chest constricts, and Solana feels her eyes watering from an emotion she can’t pinpoint.

Emotional smile and all, she manages to keep the tears at bay. “Thank—”

“Emma!”

Solana and Emma snap their heads and attention to the source of the voice, as Emma drops Solana’s hand.

“Mommy!” 

Solana jogs behind Emma who makes a mad dash in the direction of the woman who called her name. Solana stops when a large man moves in between her and Emma and the woman.

Emma’s little voice calls out at the same time Solana backs away, a bit of anxiety growing in her stomach as she thinks about the knife in the back pocket of her jeans. “No, she’s my friend!” 

“Bron, back off.” The woman speaks, and almost instantly, the large man with cold eyes that remind her of Solo moves away. The view and path is cleared again as Solana sees Emma being held by a woman who could never deny the child in her arms belongs to her. Emma is her twin outside of the blue eyes Solana would guess she got from her father.

“Mommy, this is Solana.” Emma introduces, pointing and waving. “She helped me find you!”

The woman, a few inches taller than Solana, with hazel eyes and almost perfect facial features, smiles. Again, Solana sees nothing but Emma. “Thank you so much—”

The large man who Solana hasn’t forgotten about and vice versa chimes in. “Brandi—”

“I don’t want to hear it, Bron.” She cradles Emma closer to her chest, as Solanaa clears her throat.

“Of course.” She points behind her. “I—umm—I work at the library. I—I do a kids reading club on Mondays, if—if Emma would like to join.”

Emma’s eyes light up at that as she’s pulling on her mom’s sleeve. “Mommy, can I go?”

The woman, Brandi, as Solana heard the large, unkind man refer to her frowns a bit. “After today, I’ll be lucky if your dad lets you or me leave just to check the mail, let alone go into town again.” Still, she turns to Solana, “but thank you for the information. She loves books, so I’d know she’d love to attend.”

And it’s then that Emma throws out with all the innocence of a child. “Solana’s gonna be a mommy too! Just like you!” 

Her breath catches. Solana once again has to fight back the tears that don’t make sense as well as the sadness that doesn’t make even more sense. “Some…someday.”

Brandi offers a smile that’s reassuring. Like she understands what doesn’t need to be directly stated. “Well, I wish you all the luck.” She tickles Emma’s stomach and jokes, “they’re a handful.”

And for a second, just the briefest of a second, solana visualizes just that. Visualizes herself holding a child, a child that would have her smile. Roman’s eyes. His strong will. Her innocence.

A perfect representation of them both.

But, it’s quickly pushed away, stomped on by logic.

That…..that’s not even something she should allow herself to consider right now when they haven’t even consummated their marriage.

Even if that very visual is exactly why the marriage was arranged in the first place. 

She clears her throat. Despite being outside, Solana all of a sudden feels almost closed in. “I—I should get back to work.” 

Brandi nods. “Of course.” She doesn’t even have to direct Emma to say goodbye, as the little girl with a sweet smile full of innocence is already on it.

“Bye, Solana!” She then adds on with all of the hope. “I hope I see you again!”

Solana hopes the same too.

After parting, Solana noticing the almost menacing glare that ‘Bron’ man sends her way, she walks back to the library in complete silence, feeling so conflicted and torn by emotions that usually don’t work in her favor in general.

But, it’s when she’s about to head up the steps, Solo appears again wearing an almost smug expression, that she stops in her tracks at his comment. “You done playing mother Teresa?”

She doesn’t know where it comes from. Doesn’t know how she’s even able to allow it to leave the safety of her mouth, the confines of her thoughts vs being expressed. But, that’s exactly what happens. 

Solana turns to him and doesn’t stutter as she asserts, “you don’t get to talk to me like that.” Swallowing and with an uncharacteristically amount of confidence, she warns almost, “Roman wouldn’t let you talk to me like that.”

And it seems like that not so little reminder of who her husband is triggers something for him. Solo clears his throat, muttering almost, “my apologies.” He asks, a perfect combination of forced concern and obligation, “whose kid?”

She starts not to answer, but being a form of assertive and dismissive feels like too much in one day. “I don’t know. Some man with her called her Brandi?”

At that, his attention seems almost intensified. He’s quiet for a moment. “Brandi?”

Confused at his subtle but noticeable change in demeanor, Solana nods. “Yeah. I think she called the man Bron?” 

Solo looks away, like there’s something about these two pieces of information that are important. So she asks, “why?”

Solo’s gaze is back on her, and like a snap of a finger, the intensity in his expression melts into something cavalier. “Nothing.”

Solana is quiet. And suspicious. Something in the pit of her stomach tells her there’s something he’s not telling her, something he’s keeping to himself. 

But she doesn’t push it.

She’s got other things on her mind.

Other things she shouldn’t have on her mind. 

But, she does. She really, really does.

________

Later that evening, the strange, conflicting emotions from her encounter with Emma and her mother, Brandi, are still plaguing Solana. She’s grateful that Roman has to take his dinner in his office due to work, because it at least gives her space to process such big emotions without him picking up on anything being wrong.

He seems to be very good at that. 

In preparation for winding down for the evening, she’s at the sink, washing the dishes when Roman comes up behind her. It’s only a brief second of tension that’s easily settled by his arms around her, his mouth on her neck. 

She smiles, noticing the increasing amount of comfort and want she’s experiencing at him touching her.

It’s getting to the point where she almost craves his touch.

It’s…comforting. 

Roman makes a sound, lips moving up to kiss her cheek. “Meet me at the pool in an hour.”

She frowns, turning toward him. “What?”

He brings hand to her mouth, thumb gliding over her bottom lip. “You said you wanted to get in, right?”

“I—” And she can’t protest, can’t find a way to politely disagree. Because she did say that. And he’s clearly holding her to it. “Yes.”

His hand slides down to cup her ass, Solana gasping quietly as he smirks. “Then let’s do it.” Her eyes shut, and she bites down on her bottom lip as he whispers in her ear, “I want to see that bathing suit of yours.”

Another gasp as he squeezes her ass. “Roman.” 

He says nothing else, walking away. Solana takes a second to reflect on the interaction, sits on the fact that he was able to touch her and she didn’t tense up. Didn’t freeze up. She almost…she almost liked it.

But what she doesn’t like is the fact that she now has to apparently meet this man in the pool wearing that bathing suit that nobody but her made him aware of. He would have never known she even owned it she hadn’t opened her mouth in a poor way to distract him.

And now he wants to see her in it.

And now the anxiety is growing again. 

Because while she’s grown more comfortable with his touching her, she’s been almost entirely clothed during those times. Even with the more revealing outfits. This one will definitely take the cake. She’s not sure her lingerie from their wedding night was as showy as this bikini.

She takes her time finishing up the dishes and is at least grateful to see he’s nowhere near their room or bathroom as she sneaks in and locks the door to put it on. 

Solana must mess around with the suit at least ten different times. Pulling. Tugging. Tightening. It doesn’t make a difference because the swell of her chest and backside prove too much. There’s not much to be hidden, to be camouflaged, to be covered up. And that’s always been her preference. Never in her life has she owned or even worn a two piece suit. And yet, here she is about to step out in one that leaves little to the imagination in front of one of the most attractive men she’s ever laid eyes on.

A man that gives her butterflies with just one look of his dark, beautiful eyes. 

She tries telling herself that it’s just Roman. That she shouldn’t overthink it so much. That he’s made his attraction to her clear, time and time again. But, it’s hard to factor those things in when he’s never seen this much of her, so much skin, so much scarred skin. Skin with stretch marks and cellulite. Scars from the stabbing. The pudge of her belly.

It’s all so…revealing. Physically and emotionally.

It’s almost to the point where she has more anxiety about him seeing this much of her body than actually getting in the water, which was and should be the main source of her abundance of nerves.

But, it’s not. It’s not because even with all of her progress, it’s so hard to not compare herself to other women he’s been with. Women like Samantha who look nothing like her, who must look better than her.

That brings on a deeper level of insecurity. 

Will he compare her body to Samantha’s? How can he not? 

They’re night and day. One is preferred. One is shunned.

And Solana has never been preferred.

Eyes watering, she reaches for the large t-shirt and slides it over her body, comforted by not being faced with so many flaws. Deterred entirely, she starts to think of an explanation she can give Roman as to why she can’t get in the pool tonight.

Or any other night. 

But when she steps out of the bathroom, that plan is thrown out the window because Roman is sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Shirtless.

Wearing only swim trunks.

She’s momentarily focused on him. Focused on every rippling muscle of his body that’s damn near perfect. So opposite of her own.

Realizing she’s staring, she shakes her head, “I—”

“It’s been an hour.” Roman drags his eyes over her, and it’s like she knows what he’s going to say before it leaves his mouth. “You’re not dressed.”

Pushing back some of her hair, Solana is very much focused on the piece of abstract art on the wall opposite his bed. “I was thinking—”

“No.”

That she wasn’t expecting. Such a….blunt rejection. Eyes back on him, she frowns. “What?”

“You’re not backing out.” Solana swallows. He sounds so definitive. “I won’t make you get completely in the water, because I understand why that’s difficult for you.” She says nothing, at least grateful for his understanding in that area. “But you can at least sit on the edge. Work your way up to it.” An ironic choice of wording considering the other thing they’re working their way up to. He stands from the bed, and as much as Solana wants to look away, she can’t. She’s focused on him. All 6’3 of him. So intimidating. But not to her. So strong. But he’s never used his strength against her. So attractive. The same way he feels about her. 

“Without the shirt.”

Her stomach drops, anxiety brewing again. “Roman….”

He’s suddenly in front of her, his hands reaching to pull her against him. “That’s not your trauma. It’s your insecurity, and I’m not accepting that shit because it’s not fucking fair for you to be as beautiful as you are and not see or feel it.”

She swallows as he reaches for the hem of her shirt. “Off.” It’s a statement, but there’s a questioning nature to it. Like regardless of how he feels, he’s still giving her the space to say no. 

To have that autonomy. 

It’s appreciated.

It’s also why despite her anxiety, with her eyes closed, she relents. “O–off.”

Roman doesn’t seem to waste any time pulling her shirt up and over her head. And as soon as she feels the chilly air of his room on her body, the realization that she’s more exposed in front of him than she’s ever been before, she’s crossing her arms over her chest. 

Hiding.

Embarrassed.

“No.” And his hands are on her forearms, pushing down, gently but with purpose. “No hiding.” She keeps her eyes closed as he forces her arms down at her side. “Solana, look at me.” And she wants to, she actually wants to, but it’s hard, because all she can imagine is his disgust, his disinterest. “Look at me.”

His tone is somehow forceful but gentle, in a way only he can do. In a way that never makes her feel scared, but always safe. 

So she obliges.

Roman’s gaze is on her, intentful and burning. His jaw is clenched. “It pisses me the fuck off that you’ve been made to feel anything less than fucking gorgeous.” And she watches as he travels his beautiful eyes over her body. Slowly. With a level of desire that she, even with all of her insecurities, can’t deny. Men like Roman don’t look at women like that unless they want them in that way. “The things I want to do to you….”

And once again, he’s affirming and practically repeating everything he’s assured her of several times now.

He wants her. 

“I’m going to make you believe it.” Wetting her lips, she watches Roman take her hand in his. “Come here.” 

He walks them over to the opposite side of his room where the black, full body mirror rests against the wall. His hands are on her hips, positioning her so that she’s standing directly in front of him, her back pressed into his chest. 

“Keep your eyes open.” His voice is commanding but still calm enough where it doesn’t unnerve her. “Spread your legs.” Solana is certain Roman can feel the way her body instantly tenses, because he’s kissing the shell of her ear, reassuring her. “Relax, baby. I won’t touch you there until you’re ready. Just trust me.”

And she does.

Maybe more than she’s ever trusted anyone.

It’s why she moves her legs apart so that her thick thighs are no longer rubbing against each other.

Again, he’s comforting her, “trust me…” Solana is briefly confused as to why he’s repeating himself when his hand is on her backside, squeezing in a way that makes her head fall back against his chest. “I love your ass.” She makes a sound, almost too low to hear when he moves his hands to her chest, big, strong hands cupping her breast. “But, I especially fucking love these.”

She moves her much smaller hands over his. For what reason, she doesn’t know. All she knows is that she nearly groans when his thumb flicks over her hardened areolas through the fabric of her swimsuit. 

“Roman….” Despite his clear directive, it’s hard to keep her eyes open when there’s so much coursing through her body.

“You know why I said your name when I was with her?” Not really, but also yes. It’s difficult for Solana to think straight with him touching her like this. A strange, unfamiliar feeling settling at the bottom of her belly. 

His mouth is back on her, kissing her jawline as he continues to caress her breast, alternating between light massaging and caressing her nipples. “Because I was imagining she was you. Because it’s you I want to be inside.”

Solana’s eyes are bouncing back and forth between open and closed, the soles of her feet  almost numb as standing suddenly feels much more difficult than it should be. There’s an unfamiliar ache in between her legs that has her thighs pressing back against each other. 

Her body is on fire, and despite this intimate touching, she has no desire to push him away. Doen’t feel shackled and stuck in a way that’s reminiscent of her trauma. She wants his touch on her. 

His deep, alluring voice is in her ear, watching every single one of her erotic reactions through the mirror. “There’s not a single part of you that I don’t want to touch….” Her breathing is labored and heavy almost as he moves his hand and trails his finger down the valley of her breast. “To feel…..” Her eyes are fluttering as his hand moves down to her stomach, hers shooting to rest on top of his, an unconscious effort to keep him from feeling the part of her that she’s always felt 

self-conscious about. Only for her to cry out when he lightly squeezes her stomach, rolls and all. “To taste….”

It should make her mortified, for him to be grabbing so freely a part of her that she used to cry over from embarrassment. But, it doesn’t. She’s simply trying to remain strong enough to remain on her own two feet.

Her body is on fire, and there’s this pressure building in her core. Intense but oh so delicious. A brand new sensation.

Whimpering, she moves her hand to his wrist. “Roman, I—”

“I know,” he coaxes, pressing his lips to her shoulder. “That’s what I want, baby.”  He moves his mouth over to her clavicle, tongue wetting her burning skin. “Want you to feel good….”

Good is an understatement. She feels completely overwhelmed in a way she didn’t think possible.

 And it only intensifies when his fingers create circles across her lower belly. Tears are pooling in her eyes, the throbbing in her belly and most intimate part increasing with every touch and every word that leaves his mouth. 

Solana also recognizes the wetness pooling between her legs. Something else she’s never experienced. Not like this. She’s been able to become aroused before, but never to this extent.

Not to this intensity. 

The pressure feels too much, too heavy, but she can’t seem to find the words to express as such while Roman continues to talk her through it.

“The next time you touch yourself, I want you to think of me.” His lips are ghosting the shell of her ear, his fingers continuing to trickle across the lower skin of her belly. “My mouth on you. Me inside of you.” 

She gasps, loud enough for it to almost echo throughout the room and almost bounce off the walls. “Oh my god….”

She feels just about ready to explode when his other hand has moved to her inner thighs, long fingers dancing across her skin and prying her thighs apart. She’s almost certain her essence has made her way past her bottoms and coats the tips of his fingers.  “I’m gonna be your first.” His words puncture her resolve, but it’s the latter statement that completely destroys it. “And your last.”

Solana cries out, stomach in waves as she squeezes his wrist, intense pleasure nearly knocking her off her feet if not for his strong arms around her. Solana feels partially discombobulated as he whispers things in her ear that she’s far too overwhelmed to make out.

She’s not sure how long she’s standing there, doesn’t know how long he’s holding her, helping her land back down to earth. She just knows there’s a pulsing between her legs that she’s never had before. An aftermath almost. 

The aftermath at what had to have been a climax. 

It takes a few minutes for her to finally be able to formulate words. She looks up at him, trying to not think too much of the way he circled his finger around the spillage between her thighs. It’s enough to make her womanhood start to pulse again. “how did—-I’ve never—”

Roman looks down at her, eyes almost narrowed with pure curiosity as she asks, “have you never had an orgasm before?”

Cheeks still flamed from what just occurred but also slight embarrassment at her answer, she explains, “I’ve—I’ve tried before, but I just—I couldn’t.”

He actually looks surprised but simply brings his hand to her chin, kissing her softly. “Well, it damn sure won’t be your last.” He gently bites down on her bottom lip before backing away. “Be outside in 10.” 

It takes a second for her to realize what he’s talking about. She’d completely forgotten what even kicked off all of that.

Watching him leave with her t-shirt, it’s only when he closes the door and she’s alone that something he said finally settles in.

Something that somehow gives her a sense of pleasure more enjoyable than even his talented touch. 

“I’m gonna be your first.” 

Just thinking of it brings tears to her eyes. For an entirely different reason. For so long, she felt so broken and devastated at having her virginity so brutally ripped away. To have it stolen from her before she could even understand what sex was.

And no, she can never truly get it back.

But this….Roman can give her. That first time of actually having a choice.

And that means more to her than he could ever know.

She cares for him more than she’s certain he knows.

And truth be told, Solana is starting to wonder if care is still a strong enough word to describe what she feels for a certain Roman Reigns.

________

After cleaning herself and gathering her bearings, Solana finds Roman out back already in the pool swimming laps as Dulce sits on the side just watching him, her tail wagging. She always seems so excited around him.

Taking advantage of him being underwater and not aware of her presence, Solana moves quickly over to the steps, faltering for a bit before stepping in just enough to where the water brushes against her knees. That’s when the anxiety starts. Her stomach begins knotting.

It’s also when Roman comes up from under, and she’s briefly distracted by just how good he looks while quite literally doing nothing out of the ordinary. She watches him swim over to her, one hand pushing back some of hair, the other reaching for her. 

She hesitates, and he sees it, gently reminding.

“I’ve got you….”

Solana just looks at him. He’s yet to not come through on that promise made time and time again. An oath almost, in every single situation where he’s asserted it.

It’s why she finds herself accepting his hand as she descends further into the water. And just as she recognizes her anxiety heightening along with the water that’s brushing against her chest, Roman tugs her against him. 

Gasping, her hands naturally move onto his shoulders, her legs naturally wrapping around his waist.

“Roman….” She’s looking from side to side as he moves them farther away from the steps. “I—”

“Can you swim?” His question both makes sense and serves as a brief distraction. 

“Y–yes, but I haven’t done it in years.” He’s still moving them though, and that still makes her nervous as more distance is created between her and a way to escape without actually getting under the water. “Roman, I—I can’t—”

“I know.” His assurance is soft, gentle almost. “I’m not gonna let you fall, Solana.”

And she swallows, because there’s an undertone to his statement. Like there’s another meaning that maybe one or both of them isn’t entirely ready to come to terms with.

It’s when they stop moving, she realizes that he wasn’t just aimlessly moving around. He wanted to bring them over to the stool within the pool that he sits on. It’s only then she really becomes cognizant of the fact that she’s straddling him as well as just how close her body is against his.

Not that he seems to mind.

His gaze on her is both distracting and tantalizing. She wants him to never look at her with such desire at the same time she wants him to never look away.

It’s….a strange experience.

Needing there to be some type of conversation, she goes with the first thing that comes to mind. “How….how was your day?”

Roman chuckles. “The same as most.” Solana makes an active effort to ignore how his hands remain planted on her ass, giving just the slightest pressure that makes her softly scratch at his taut skin. “How was yours?”

Eventful. She starts to tell him about Emma and Brandi, but that would somehow lead into a conversation about Solo and his odd behavior recently. And Roman already deals with enough. She doesn’t want to add onto his plate. 

She can handle that on her own.

It’s why she decides to share the most exciting news, a smile growing on her face. “I pinned Bayley today during my training.”

“Did you?” Something tells her that he already knew about this, that he was made aware of this occurrence prior to this moment. Regardless, she’s thankful for him trying to fake surprise. For him trying to give her the satisfaction of being the first to tell him. “Damn. They told me you’ve gotten good. That you’re fast.”

She nods, smile dimming a bit. “I do feel a little bad about how I did it though.”

“Don’t.” He’s quick to dismiss her concerns. “Bayley’s taken much worse in the ring.” After seeing Bayley fight on Night of Champions, she doesn’t doubt that one bit. “There’s actually something I want to talk to you about.”

Her anxiety returns at his ending statement. “O–okay.”

Roman seems to take a minute before explaining, “I think we need to expand your training.” Her confusion is evident and expected as he clarifies with all the preparation in the world for a less than pleased response. “You need to start training with a man.”

Deep down, she already knows his answer before she asks. But, she has to do it anyway. “Like with you?” Open to it, she even suggests, “or the twins?”

Safe people.

As expected, he shakes his head. “No. It needs to be someone you’re not familiar with. Not like you are with me or them.” She looks away, eyes focused on the spotlight on the opposite end of the pool. “It’s only to help you. You can fight now, that’s good. But, you need to learn how to fight someone you don’t feel comfortable with, because that’s the reality of our world.” He elaborates, seemingly pulling her closer to him. “I’m never going to let you be in a position where you have to defend yourself like that against a man, but it’s good for you to know regardless.”

That helps a bit. She believes him. Believes that he’ll never let her be in that space ever again.

But, there’s a ‘what if’ thought that she can’t push away. Because nothing in life is promised or final. Anything and nothing can happen. She could very well find herself one day on the opposite end of her brother, and the thought of him having that hold and power over her makes her sick.

Should that day ever roll around again, she wants it to be different. She wants to be different.

She wants to be able to fight back.

“I’ll do it.” She agrees in a quiet tone and goes on to briefly explain her answer. “I think—I think I need to do it for me.”

Roman simply nods and acknowledges her acceptance with a single word. “Okay.”

Solana is grateful he doesn’t follow up with additional questions. She doesn’t really want to talk about that, doesn’t want to participate in conversations that bring up old, painful memories. “Can I at least meet them before we start training?”

“Of course.” That provides another layer of relief. “Are you still alright with the Gala?”

And this time, she nods. A few days away, she’s already figured out her look for the evening, courtesy of Bayley and Naomi. Biting on her bottom lip, she finds her fingers moving across his chest. “I—I got my dress.” He makes a sound followed up with his mouth moving to her neck. “I think—I think you’ll like it.”

She struggles to keep her eyes open when he starts kissing on her wet skin. “I like everything you wear.” She smiles. “You thought about what you want for your birthday?”

 Once again, it’s hard to talk with him touching her like this. “No, cause I don’t–”

He chuckles against her. “Still on that shit, I see.” And before she can push him on that, he informs with all of the textbook coyness, “it’s alright, I’ve got it figured out.”

That makes her push lightly on his chest, to force his gaze on her. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll see.” His words are intentionally vague and don’t manage to answer her question. It’s expected, not entirely out of character for him, but still a bit irritating. 

She sighs. The last thing she wants is for this man to go out of his way for her more than he already has. “Roman…

“Solana, I’ve got you in my arms. Half naked.” His eyes take on a dark, lustful glint as he focuses on her mouth. “I really don’t feel like talking, baby….”

He brings his lips back onto hers, but it’s hard to get too into the kiss when her mind is so focused on one little word. 

Baby….

A nickname he seems to use with her more and more, the increasing usage doing nothing for the butterflies every time he calls her as such. But this time, this time the butterflies are for something more, something different.

Something she’s not even sure she should be telling him right now when they haven’t even consummated their marriage. 

It doesn’t stop her from saying his name, her tone serious enough to alert him that she has something to say.

“Roman….” He lifts his head, gaze focused on her, and Solana finds herself momentarily captivated by him. He’s so handsome. So attractive. The embodiment of strength. In so many different ways. Licking her lips, it falls out almost accidentally but also with all of the determination. “I’m going to give you an heir.”

His expression falters only for a second. He’s so good at maintaining composure at all times that it takes her off guard. His voice is lowered. “Solana, I told you, I’ll handle—”

“I know, but—but, it’s not because of that.” And maybe a part of it is, maybe she feels guilty that she’s failing to do the one thing he agreed to marry her for. Maybe it’s out of her trauma. Maybe it’s a sense of obligation. Whatever the potential contributors, there’s no denying the largest chunk comes from a place of pure individualistic want. “I never thought that I could, but….but I can.” This part she knows to be true. Solana never envisioned a life for herself where she could withstand the touch of a man, the desire to have a man touch her. The ability to be intimate. But Roman has changed all that. “I know I can, so I will.” When he says nothing, she adds on, starting to feel a bit unsure of herself. “And we don’t have to now, per se, but….we will. I—I want to do that for you.”

For us.

He still says nothing, but Solana can see there’s a million thoughts floating through her head. She’s prepared for him to push back, to maybe chastise her or scold her for whatever reason. In her experience, men have never really needed solid reasons to be upset with her.

He does none of that though.

Instead, she seems something gleam in his brown eyes, something she can’t name but feels is eerily similar to what she feels whenever she looks at him.

“Non sei quello che mi aspettavo.” Solana has no idea what he’s saying, but with the way he holds her, the way he hikes her higher onto his waist so she’s almost looking down at him, wet hands moving to his face, she doesn’t really care. Doesn’t really need to know. “Ma credo che tu sia esattamente quello di cui ho bisogno…."

—----------

“Are you sure this is going to work?”

Xavier smiles at the hint of nervousness in his son’s voice. Any other time, he’d scold him for weakness. But when plotting against the Bloodline, especially Roman Reigns, one can never be too careful.

“Not necessarily, but I do know your sister. She’s weak. Blinded by love.” Just saying the word leaves a bitter taste on the tip of his tongue. “Your mother fed her that shit, and now she holds onto it. It’s how I know she won’t let him do anything.”

Wes’s dark gaze rakes over his father’s still recovering state. “And yet he still put us both in the hospital.”

Xavier glares, voice icy. He hates being reminded of failure. “Watch it, son.”

We looks away, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his body. “I just think there is another way—”

“Have you heard from your sister? Found a way to get into contact with her without going through Reins?” Xavier already knows the answer but wants his son to recognize the stupidity of his stance. “This is the only way, and it’ll work. Trust me.”

Wes is still quiet, but Xavier is unbothered. He’s instead focused on his phone that vibrates three times, his lock screen showing a set of messages from an unknown number. And it’s in reading the messages that his day goes from good to so much fucking better.

“Well, I’ll be damned….” 

Wes notices the change in his father’s mood and gestures with his chin. “Who is it?”

“Not sure.” He reaches the phone to his son. “But, we’re definitely going to find out.”

And it’s when reading the text that Wes also smiles, the same wicked scheming oscillating in his father’s head traveling over to him. 

“Got you now, you little bitch….” Wes reads over the words once more, basking in the relief and potential this new development will provide.

Unknown: I believe we may have a mutual problem that needs to be….taken care of.

Unknown: Your daughter. Solana.

Unknown: Let’s meet.

—----------

translation: “you’re not what i expected, but i think you’re exactly what i need.”

[corrodedcoffins-blog]

The Almost Breakup

note: short but i'm happy with it

also gonna get back into this story soon also if you have thoughts on this au (or any of my aus) please share i love hearing them <3

y/nupdates

liked by CorrodedCoffinStan, lilian_19, and others

y/nupdates: Y/n and Isla (Y/n's boyfriend's daughter) out together going out to dinner and seeming very close, and no Eddie in sight

y/nupdates: Y/n and Isla (Y/n's boyfriend's daughter) out together going out to dinner and seeming very close, and no Eddie in sight

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emails.tour.11: her and isla bonding is so cute

icarly_: Isla is so pretty

Metalhead_: she's such a slut

13taytay: JOJO!! HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?!?!

im.a.mirrorball: in her step-mom era

y/nismyqueen: where are y/n's shoes from?? very very important!

for_our_moony: prada i think, but steve madden makes a more affordable

CorrodedCoffinStan: he is to old for her, and now making her act like a mom to his daughter. disgusting.

-

y/nupdates

liked by tswiftfan13, gilmore_girl, and others

y/nupdates: Y/n was out with her new boyfriend, Eddie Munson's son. They went out to lunch together, and this is the first time we've seen them together.

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dog.loverrr: only 5 years between her and her boyfriends son..

princess.y/n: love seeing her with Leo not just isla

anna.frozen_: my worlds colliding

munson_86: fr been an Eddie fan for years and a Y/n fan since girl meets world

y/nswifey: forever in love with Leo Munson

philly_eagles.fan: i think they should date instead of her and his dad, the age gap is gross

-

Eddie and Y/n have been together for 6 months now, about the time Eddie’s relationships would end, without the women ever meeting his kids and never any ‘I love you’s. But everything was going well, and though Y/n had met Isla when she met Eddie they had gotten really close, and she had now met Leo and despite all expectations that went well. Y/n and Leo had become friends of sorts. But no matter how happy he was, how happy she made him, Eddie started pulling away. He couldn’t help it. He loved her, yes. Not that he’d told her yet. He loved his kids first, and he has to put them first, always will. 

Y/n was now on the international leg of her tour, and they haven’t talked in a while, always seeming to miss each other. This was giving Eddie the space he needs to think about their relationship. Not without zero help from his kids. 

“Is Y/n going to come here after her shows in Europe are over?” Isla asked, pushing her vegetables across her plate with her fork, then picking up her knife to saw the broccoli in two.

“Um- I’m not sure, kid.” The man mumbles, hoping Isla will move on after not getting an answer.

“Why not?”

“Isla-”

“Can you ask-”

“Isla! Finish your dinner, or if you're done take your plate to the kitchen.” Sighing, Isla got up grabbing her plate to the kitchen and stomping upstairs to her room. After hearing the slamming the teens door, Eddie gets up to start loading the dishwasher. Leo, who was over for dinner, like he often did, walked over to his dad, placing his plate next to the sink. Then rounding the island, to sit at a bar stool. 

“So.. What’s with your attitude?” This causes Eddie to look up from his task, giving his son a look that could kill.

“Leo, we're not talking about this.”

“No. We have to. I don’t know what’s wrong with you. You get so sensitive everytime we mention Y/n lately. Are you not talking? Please don’t break up with this one, I actually like her.”

“Leo. I ca-”

“No. You love her! And I guess that scares you, because every relationship you’ve had since mom has had this 6 month timer and that timer has gone off, and you're not ready. Or it scares you that she’s so close to us. And that if you ever break up Isla would be heartbroken.” 

Eddie takes a moment, thinking over what Leo has said, and scarily accurate it is, and since when was Leo that smart?

“Leo?... Could you stay here with Isla for a few days?”

“Yeah.” Leo says, a wide grin spreading across his face.

-

Here Y/n was sitting in her hotel in Paris, staring at her phone, looking at a voicemail Eddie had left. It’s time. He’s going to break up with her; she just knows it. Her and Leo went out a couple weeks ago and he had let slip of Eddie’s 6 month timer on relationships, of course that was followed with Leo’s reassurance that he could feel she was different. But that didn’t cure her anxiety. 

Because since she left for tour, they haven’t talked, like Eddie has been avoiding her. She had written a break-up song about him for fucks sake, they’re not even broken up yet. But now he was going to break up with her, over a voicemail at that. 

Ripping the band-aid off, Y/n finally presses play on the voicemail.

“Hey, Y/n-” God her first name, it’s really happening “-um, I have a lot of this to say, but I can’t say it over the phone. So I’ll talk to you later. I care about you. I know it hasn’t felt like it, and that’s part of what I need to talk about. I just need you to remember that. I care about you. Okay. Bye.”

At least he was planning on letting her down easy. Guess that’s a plus. Pouring herself a glass of wine from the overpriced display hotels have, Y/n sits down at the dining table, staring at the abstract painting across from her. After what felt like an hour of staring, which in actuality it was 10 minutes, the young woman hears the click of the hotel door. It startles her back into a conscious state, wondering why her assistant Andrea, the only other person with a key card, was entering her room at this hour.

“Andrea?” Turning the corner, Y/n comes face to face with the older, taller man. “Eds… Wha- what are you doing here?”

“Did you not get my voicemail?” He asks, as if that voicemail held any answers. 

“Yeah, but.. It was pretty vague.” Her reply caused Eddie to smile.

“Yeah, sorry about that, I was in a rush. Packing, getting the jet ready.” Silence came over the two. Awkward silence. The couple had never been in awkward silence for the entirety of their relationship, always talking, never a pause in their banter. They had comfortable silence at night, staring into each other's eyes. But never was it awkward between them.

“You’ve been avoiding my calls.”

“I’ve been avoiding your calls.” The two spoke at the same time, before Eddie continues, “I’m sorry. It’s just- Ever since my relationship with my ex-wife, my relationships have had this 6 month lifespan. And when they get close to 6 months I get ready to end things.” Here it comes the ‘it’s not you, it’s me and my commitment issues’ “But that didn’t happen with you.” Oh. “With you, you met Isla and Leo no woman I’ve been with has gotten there, and they like you! And that’s fucking scarry. So the thought of us ever breaking up and what that would do to Isla.. It killed me, so I wanted to get ahead of it, y’know break up with you before she got even more attached, but I couldn’t so I just avoided you. Which was the wrong choice because that just caused you and me more pain. So.. I came here to tell you that.. I love you. And you don’t have to say it back, but I need you to know that I’m in, and this relationship it’s not just you and me anymore, my kids are in this. And I have to think about them and I need to know that you will also think about them.”

Throughout that long winded explanation, all Y/n could think about is that Eddie is not breaking up with her, and that he loves her. He, Eddie Munson, playboy, rock legend loved her.

“Eds, I love you too.” After she said the three little magic words, Eddie leaps towards her, his lips smashing against hers. Their lips moving in sync, Eddie’s tongue tempting her lips to widen, to allow his tongue and hers to fight for dominance. Y/n’s lips grant Eddie’s tongue entrance while Eddie has her distracted by his tongue, his hands slip downwards to her thighs gripping them for support to lift the woman onto the dining table, leaning her back and lifting his lips from hers to be able to talk once again. The disconnection of their lips leave the couple breathless, panting, and staring into eachothers eyes. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

-

The couple wake up the next morning, sunlight seeping through the sheer curtains, legs tangled together, Y/n moving to put her cold feet on Eddie’s legs to warm them.

“Ah! Get your feet off me. They’re cold.” Eddie mumbles into his hair, before turning his body to face Y/n, he was the little spoon last night.

“I know! That’s why I want you to warm them.” The short woman says in a ‘duh’ tone. Wiggling her feet between his calves, Eddie grabs her ankles, moving onto his back and pulling her to straddle him. Her bare core, resting on his v-line, as the two were still naked from last night's activities. 

“Hi.”

“Hi, darling.”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.” The older man brings his hand to his girl's jaw, his thumb rubbing back and forth on her cheek. 

“I love you.” This causes Eddie to let out a deep chuckle, as the two have said this about 30 times since he first did last night.

“I love you too.”

“So.. Now that we’re in love or whatever.” “‘Whatever’” “I want you to meet my parents… In a couple months when I get a break from tour. What do you think about that?” Y/n was worried about asking Eddie this, it felt so juvenile, but Eddie has never once made her feel bad about their age gap, one of the many things she loved about him.

“I would love to. And in the summer, I would really love you coming with me and the kids to Hawkins, meet my uncle and my hometown friends?”

“I would love to meet the man that raised my amazing man. I’ll have to thank him y’know. A lot.”

“Of course, he did a great job.”

“Oh shut up. I also really want to meet your friends. What are they like?”

“Well theirs the Hellfire boys, Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Will. They’re a couple years younger than me, all married, all have kids. Mike and Will are married, they adopted a few. Then there’s Steve. He has a kid Leo’s age.. Then Robin, she got married to this girl from high school, Vicky, me and Steve totally got them together but she won’t admit it. They’re all great, and I can’t wait for you to meet them.” 

-

“I want to go to.. Italy. Have you been?”

“Yeah, it’s beautiful.”

“I’ve always wanted to go.”

“I’ll take you.”

The two have been laying on their backs staring at the ceiling, talking all about the places they’ve been and want to go. The couple haven't left the bed all day, just to go to the bathroom, and Eddie once to grab them food, all while still naked, just how they liked it. 

“I wrote a breakup song about you.. Before everything, when I thought we were going to break up.” She added the last part quickly after her pause.

“Anything bad about me?” Eddie asks, clearly making a joke out of it, something Y/n was thankful for, he could always tell when she needed him to be serious and when she needed him to be jokey, another thing she loved about him.

“No, of course not. Just about how it would be super hard for me if we did break up.”

“Then good thing we didn’t.” He says, pressing his lips gently against hers.

~taglist~

@whoscamila @mystargirl-interlude @creoleguurl @witchwolflea @kissmejoey @taylorswiftsloverfr @random000000sblog

[gretavangroupie]

The Ripe and The Ruin (Chapter 6)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 15.1k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Allusions to Cheating, Lying, Jealousy, Sexual Themes, Kissing, Unprotected Sex.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

A/N: Thanks so much for waiting for us while we took our little break. We had the absolute best time at our shows. We plotted and schemed most of the week and there really is quite a bit of exciting new things on the horizon, so keep your eyes peeled.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

PARIS, FRANCE

JAKE POV

The sound of the heat kicking on wakes you from your sleep, your heavy eyelids forcing themselves open to a blur of darkness. You drag your hand over your face, rubbing at your tired eyes as you turn to your side ready to pull her close, only to find the bed empty. You blink away the blurriness quickly, finding the place she once was, cold. 

You snap your head to the side to glance at the clock, finding it to be a little earlier than you expected. Where did she go? Had she left? You look around the room and see that her things are gone, snatching your phone from the nightstand when you realize she really did leave. You quickly unlock the screen seeing a myriad of messages and missed calls from Isla, but much to your dismay, there was nothing from Y/N.

Your mind immediately starts to race. Did she sneak out? Did Sam’s drunken rambling scare her away? You curse yourself for even letting him into the room in the first place. You throw yourself back down onto the pillows, your brain frantically searching for some kind of answer. Your thumb taps on Josh’s contact, the line ringing out before you even knew what was happening. 

“Hello?” he answers, sounding far too chipper for the early hour. 

“Hey,” you pause, “You busy?”

“Hmmm…Not at the moment,” he answers, sounding intrigued. 

“Come to my room,” you ask, your voice still tired. 

You hear him huff a laugh from the other end of the phone, “Be there in a sec.”

You end the call and toss your phone onto the nightstand as you stand to pull yourself out of bed. You dig through your suitcase for a pair of sweats, pulling them over your legs just as you hear a knock at the door. 

You blow out a breath as you walk to the door, shaking your head as you twist the lock. As you pull it open you see Josh leaning on the wall across from the door, pushing off as you wave him inside. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this early morning chat?” he asks smugly. 

“I just need to you to sit down and listen to me and tell me I didn’t fuck this up,” you say, pointing to the bed. He raises his eyebrows at your assertiveness, quickly complying and taking a seat on the edge of your bed. 

“Oh, did you tell her finally?” he asks, crossing his leg over his knee. 

“No, I mean, I didn’t say anything but– Sam and his big fucking mouth…He barged in here last night drunk as fuck, rambling on about Lyla and shit, asking about Isla and what was going on there, meanwhile I had Y/N in here, and since we haven’t really told anyone what we are doing I kinda… made her hide in the bathroom. I tried to get Sam out of here but he wouldn’t stop talking, and fuck I just got know she heard all the shit he said,” you pause, pacing around the room. “After he left she asked me if there was something I needed to tell her.”

“And you said?”

“I– I panicked, I don’t know! I said no! I said it was just work stuff…I know I should have told her, but we had just had the most amazing–”

“You said no?!” he shouts.

You furrow your brows in shame as you look at him, “Yeah…”

“Jake, you massive fuck up,” he scolds, shaking his head. “So not only did you hide her in the bathroom, you also lied to her face.”

“Well it sounds really fucking bad when you say it like that,” you counter, throwing your hands into the air. 

“Okay, well which part of it is untrue, Jacob?”

“This is bullshit,” you growl, kicking your foot against the floor. 

“You thought she would be totally cool hiding in the bathroom? You didn’t think she was going to get a little bit suspicious? I know I'm the smarter twin but you can’t honestly be that stupid, right?” 

“What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t let Sam see her without it causing a whole new shit storm with Isla! I did everything I could to get him out of here, but he just kept talking. Thank god he didn’t mention Isla by name, but Y/N is smart and I know she picked up on everything he was saying. I could see it all over her face. She stayed after but, I just woke up and she was gone,” you continue. 

He nods his head as he takes in everything you’re saying, a redness in his cheeks as his underlying anger bubbles to the surface. Your phone begins to buzz on the nightstand, snapping both of your attention. You rush over to it to see if it’s Y/N, but again, it’s Isla. You silence the call and toss it back to the nightstand returning to stand in front of Josh. 

“Let me guess, it’s Isla?”

“She won’t fucking stop,” you answer nodding. 

“I told you to tell her a fucking week ago, Jake,” he snaps. 

“How the fuck do you tell someone that? Like, ‘hey, I have a crazy ex who blows up my phone day and night, but oh, also she lives in my house and even though I have broken it off with her several times she keeps clawing her way back into my life and thinks we are still together’? Yeah, I’m not doing all of that.”

“No, that’s exactly what you do. You lay every single nitty gritty detail out on the line for her, and you tell her that you have baggage, and that you are trying to deal with it as gently as possible. You leave the decision in her hands. You don’t lie to her and tell her it’s nothing, when it very much is something,” he says through gritted teeth. 

“Well, it’s a little late for that now dont you think?” you snap, “How do I fix it, now.”

“Have you heard from her?” he asks, pushing himself up off the bed. 

“No,” you answer quietly. “I didn’t even know she left.”

“Fuck, Jake…” he sighs, running his fingers over his chin as he thinks. 

“I think you have two options,” he pauses, giving you a serious look. “You either do what I told you to do a long time ago, or you play it off like absolutely nothing is wrong.”

You raise your eyebrows in surprise, not expecting the second option. “Yeah? You think…you think that would work?”

He sighs and shakes his head, “I think it’s a terrible idea, but yeah I think it could work. Though my vote is for the first option.”

“I just feel like it’s not her business to know about the shit with Isla,” you counter. 

“If you are sleeping with her, it’s her business Jake, goddamn.”

“I would disagree,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. 

He shakes his head and purses his lips in anger, “You know what? I think you just wanted me to tell you what you want to hear to patch up your wounded ego. I don’t think you have any interest in doing the right thing at all, do you Jake?” he pauses, walking over to the door. “You need to get your shit straight, man. If I were you, I would take my advice and do the right thing before this all blows up in your face.”

He slams the door behind himself as you stand staring at it, anger pouring off of you. You know he’s right, no matter how hard of a pill it is to swallow. You could see the disappointment in his eyes, the look cutting you to your core. You turn and head into the bathroom, turning on the shower and letting the steam fill the bathroom. You knew you fucked up, not only was she mad at you, but so was Josh, and right now you couldn’t think of anything worse. 

You walk back into the room, grabbing your phone from the nightstand and seeing Isla’s missed call. You let out a sigh as you swipe past it, hitting Y/N’s contact instead. The call rings for a few seconds before going to her voicemail and you feel your heart drop into your stomach. You decide a text might be better and quickly type and retype your message until you’re happy with it. In that moment you make the choice to pretend like nothing is wrong, going against Josh’s advice yet again. 

You

9:19AM: Where did you run off to this morning?

You toss the phone onto the bed and strip out of your clothes, knowing that the shower is hot and waiting for you and wondering if the plans the two of you made for the day still stand. 

—

HER POV

Earlier That Morning

You’d spent the first hour of your morning in complete darkness, refusing to open the heavy curtains of your hotel room until you were ready to be gone. You’d barely slept the night before, tossing and turning as you fought the thoughts that plagued your mind. It didn’t help that Jake’s phone had been going off all night long, illuminating the dark room with a pale blue tint after each vibrate you heard. 

Someone really wanted to talk to him. 

You could still hear Sam’s words replaying in your mind, your stomach dropping as each fleeting memory makes its way to the forefront of your mind to throw more confusion into the mix. It feels impossible to stifle them. You step out of a particularly hot shower, still proud of the fact that you’d managed to sneak out of Jake’s bed this morning without waking him. 

You run a towel through your hair as you wipe off the fogged mirror, unable to truly look at your own reflection without feeling a fucked up sense of shame. Jake didn’t deserve a formal goodbye after what happened last night. Your gut is screaming at you, heeding warnings that something isn’t right… so you stand firm in your decision to leave him alone in his bed this morning. 

You hadn’t even bothered to look at your phone yet, knowing that today is a free day, and you likely will have little to no obligations. You wrap your hair up in the fluffy towel and make your way back out to your suitcase to grab your phone charger. As it powers back to life from its dangerously low battery, you notice a singular text from just a little while ago.

Paul

6:06AM: Hey! Call when you wake up, no hurry

The clock is nearing 8, so you stay wrapped up in your towel, falling under the covers as you listen to his tone ring out. 

“Goodmorning!” Paul’s chipper greeting almost irks you. 

“Morning!” you respond with a fake lilt. 

“Hey, got a little assignment for you today, it isn’t much and shouldn’t take you very long, but the job itself might be a little bit of a pain in the ass. Crew is already running low on water, so I had some ordered and need you to go and pick it up,” he explains. 

Your face contorts up at the thought of having to load multiple cases of bottled water into whatever vehicle you’re provided with. 

“I know it’s an off day, but Murph is going to go with you… I know it will be a lot of heavy lifting so I figured he would be the best man for the job,” Paul went on, referencing Murph’s rather toned and muscular stature.

Fuck. A solo assignment with just Murph? Enough to make you want to skip out on breakfast…

“Oh, okay! I can do that, no big deal. Are you sure Murph isn’t too busy? I could ask one of the others–”

“No, I’ve already spoken with him. He should be ready and waiting for you about ten o’clock,” Paul goes on. “Just load it back into the craft supply truck when you guys get back. Thanks again, Y/N! I’ll text you the address of the place.”

“Will do. Talk to you later.” You hang up the phone and pull the heavy blankets over your head, feeling ten thousand emotions flood you at once. Murph gives you a nervous energy, something about being in his presence makes your body swell with childlike giddiness. And on the other hand, the tumultuous pool of uncertainty that you’ve been thrust into with Jake has left you feeling drained and disheartened, and you don’t even have any explanation yet. 

You’re miffed at him. Miffed as fuck. His own brother drunkenly asked him how he was handling being away for this long. You’re no scientist, but you know how to pick up on cues and connect dots, and you absolutely know when someone is lying to you. The more time you spend stewing, the more angry you become. This is most definitely not what you need right now. 

You stay buried under the covers for a long while, your hair still piled and wrapped in the damp towel on your head. You close your eyes, thinking over everything again, vowing to stay right here in bed until the last possible second before you have to leave. A quiet knock on your door startles you from your cozy cave, and you know for a fact that Jake has come to your room since you decided to sneak out this morning. You whip the blankets back, quietly rushing to the peephole to prepare yourself to pretend you aren’t in the room.

But it isn’t Jake. 

It’s Murph.

A surge of nerves overtake your half-clothed body, and you mumble a silent ‘oh my gooooooddddd’ as you decide what to do. You flick your hand out as your eyes pace around the room, one hand clutching the towel between your breasts. What would Ruth do?

Ruth would answer the door.

Your hand turns the heavy metal lever, pulling the door open only six inches or so. You’re met with a completely surprised Murph, leaning his head away and covering his eyes when he realizes he’s almost caught you in your birthday suit. 

“Shit! I’m sorry, I was just coming by to make sure… I–I can wait for you downstairs–” he scrambles, and you witness his normal tough exterior fall all to pieces as his cheeks turn pink with embarrassment. 

“No no! I’m sorry!” you cry, pulling the door closed just a little bit. “It’s no big deal…”

He grins hard as he runs a hand over his face, approaching the door again and leaning one hand on the frame. “I just… came by to make sure Paul had talked with you, didn’t want you to oversleep or…” his hand nervously falls to his hip as he regains his composure, his body obviously wracked with uneasiness. He’s cute this way…

You take a page from Ruth’s book again, pulling the towel that sat on top of your head off, letting your wet hair flow over your shoulders. His eyes grow ten times in size, but only for a second. 

“Yes, Paul called. And I’m awake,” you reply sheepishly, lowering your head to look at him through your lashes. 

“Okay, yeah. Good. I’ll uh, meet you downstairs at ten?” he asks through an anxious breath and swallow. 

You bite your cheeks in and nod, twirling a piece of wet hair around your finger. “Mhmm, I’ll be there…” You watch his eyes as he tries his best to avoid eye contact with you, or more yet, your half-naked body.

“Okay, good. I’ll–I’ll see you then,” he says as he quickly turns and makes his way back down to the elevator.

You rush back to climb under the warmth of the covers as you giddily kick your feet underneath them, knowing all too well that you just managed to get a big burly security guard flustered by hardly doing anything at all. God, he looked good already today. A black shirt and dark wash jeans, a heavy canvas zip-up jacket and his signature backwards ballcap. And he had some type of cologne on… you couldn’t quite place it, but it was familiar while also unlike anything you’d ever smelled before.

You let yourself relish in the feeling for just a little bit, and like clockwork, your phone buzzes with Jake’s contact ringing across your screen. You stare at it as it inches its way across the table, until it stops ringing completely. Nah. Not yet. Only seconds after the phone stops ringing, you see a text from him bubble up on your notifications, but you ignore that too. You need some time to think. And, you have work to do. 

You finally pull yourself from the comfort of the bed and get dressed for the day. As you grab up your purse and heavy winter coat to head off in search of coffee, you feel the pull to hash out your feelings with Ruth. After five or six rings, you hear her tired voice come over the speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I know it’s hella early and shit but I need to vent…” you say as you let your hotel room door close behind you. 

“Oh my god, you okay? What’s going on?” she replies, seemingly awake now. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Listen… so last night after the show, me and Jake… ya know. Yeah. Everything was beautiful and perfect and everything until after, we’re sitting there literally naked and his brother Sam knocked on our door, and Jake hid me in the fucking bathroom.” You try to keep your voice low and close to the phone, just in case someone happens to be nearby. 

You swear you can hear her scoff from across the ocean. “HUH?!” she squeals. “Hid you?! The fuck?”

“I know, I know… like, I get it, finding us that way wouldn’t have been the best of circumstances but, that’s not even the worst part.” You press the button in the elevator to the ground floor as you finally find a little solace in being alone. “I was trying to get dressed in the dark bathroom, and here comes Sam, needing to pee. So I jump into the shower as quietly as I can and try not to breathe while they keep talking. And, get this Ruth… Sam starts talking about how he’s having problems with his own girlfriend, saying she’s acting really weird and off lately. So Jake says maybe she’s having trouble with the time difference and missing home or some bullshit. So Sam is like ‘Yeah, maybe so…’ Then he asks Jake ‘how you two are handling that’… and that he ‘hasn’t seen Jake on his phone a lot lately…’ I dunno. Then Sam said he knows that Jake has been going through this shit for a while. Like what shit? What could he possibly be having to deal with right now?” You realize that you’re rambling again, a quality that you’ve started to take notice of in your personality as of late.

“What the fuck…” Ruth trails off, trying to run over everything you’d just said. “So, do you think he has someone back home, and just never told you about it?” Her words hit you like a dagger, and hearing your suspicious thoughts be spoken out loud nearly makes you feel sick. You step off the elevator and into the crowded lobby of people in search of breakfast. 

“I don’t know, Ruth. Maybe? But also, he would have told me, I think. Ugh, it feels so fucked up. We have plans today and tonight, too. I kind of want to blow him off…”

“Shit, you’re pissed, aren't you? I definitely think something is going on, did you ask him once Sam left?” she presses. 

You finally spot the coffee bar across the hallway, making a beeline. “Yes, and I swear it felt like he was leaving some gaps in his explanation.”

She huffs. “Trust your gut, babe. You know him better than I would.”

“What should I do?” you ask, watching as a packet of sugar crystals trail into your paper coffee cup. 

“Let him come to you. I wouldn’t give him the time of day until he decides to be honest with you, ya know? You deserve at least that much…” she says, and you can hear her figuratively putting her foot down. 

You let out a long sigh. “You’re right, I already ignored his call this morning. I need some time to think…”

“I agree with you. Maybe step back a little,” she says, yawning heavily. 

You press the plastic lid down onto your coffee and saunter over to a plush couch in a hidden corner of the lobby, ready to drown yourself in emails and this stout dark roast. “You’re right, I think I will. Thanks Ruthie, go back to sleep.”

“Already halfway there, call me later, babe,” she says quietly. “Oh, hey, do you mind if I…do a little research, if you know what I mean?” 

Your brows furrow as you contemplate. “Research…”

“Yes. You know exactly what I mean.”

“Oh,” you finally understand. “I mean, I’m not gonna stop you. As long as you report back with your findings.”

“Babe, duh. I’ll talk to you later,” she says. 

“Byeeeeee.” You press the red button on your phone, pressing the end of it to your forehead a few times before slouching down onto the couch. Ten o’clock will be here before you know it, and you feel a zap of excited electricity at knowing you get to spend the morning with none other than the flustered security guard.

—

Needless to say you were more than a little surprised to see Murph standing outside of the hotel doors leaning on a truck, his arms crossed across his chest as he scrolls on his phone. His eyes flick up, catching yours as you step outside into the cold air. You make your way towards him, pulling your jacket closed tightly across your chest. The wind is unforgiving as you get closer, blowing your hair across your face. You watch him spring into action, quickly running around to the door to open it for you. 

“Thanks,” you smile, jumping into the warm cab. He nods his head and runs around the opposite side of the truck, sliding in next to you. He turns the knob for the heat and you instantly start to warm up. 

“How’d you manage to finesse a truck in another country?” you laugh, placing your bag on the floorboard. 

“Ahh, been here a few times now, feel pretty good on the roads. That and I’m not letting someone drive me around. I’m perfectly capable, so I made a few calls,” he grins, shifting the truck into drive. 

“Do you know where we’re even going?” you ask, pulling your phone from your purse. 

“I think so, but why don’t you just tell me anyway,” he smirks, pulling out into traffic. The traffic patterns are foreign to you, but he seems to be handling them with ease, and that alone has you able to relax a bit. 

“Okay, so per Paul, it looks like we are heading to a bulk grocer, and the address is 47 Rue Saint-Jacques,” you answer. “The order has already been placed, we’re just picking it up.”

He taps on his phone screen a few times as he types in the address, nodding his head as he previews the route. “Looks like we’ve got about twenty minutes ahead of us.”

“That’s not bad at all, maybe this will be a quick trip after all,” you smile towards him. 

He huffs a laugh as he readjusts his hat on his head, “Maybe so.”

—

Murph takes the lead loading the cases of water into the truck bed, insisting he will do all of it. You feel bad as you just stand by watching, but he seems like the type of guy to bear the burden of most things with no regrets. He swipes his hand across his brow and fixes his hat, letting out a breath as he closes the truck bed. 

“That all of it?”

“I think so!” you pause, “Thanks for doing all of that, I feel kind of useless.” 

“Nah, not at all,” he smirks, nodding towards the truck. You both get into the warm cab and as you reach for your phone, you find the screen filled with notifications from Ruth. For the past twenty minutes your phone had been ringing and numerous texts had come through, the last one reading ‘SOS’.

Your heart drops into your stomach as you consider that something bad has happened, your hands shaking as you tap her contact and listen to the call ring. She doesn’t answer and the sick feeling in your stomach grows. You shakily type a message to her, hoping she will see it. 

You

10:49AM: WHAT IS HAPPENING

10:49AM: I’M ON A WORK THING WITH MURPH AND I DIDNT SEE MY PHONE

You lock your screen as your knee bounces nervously, picking at your nails with your fingers. 

“You okay?” he asks, turning to look at you. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay, just missed an important call that's all,” you say, trying not to go into too much detail. “Tell me about you, distract me,” you beg. 

“About me?” he asks, “Uhh, what do you want to know?”

“I don’t know, anything, something. Tell me…tell me how you got into this business.”

“How I got into this business… My that's kind of a loaded first question,” he laughs, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. “Well, I’ve always sort of just…protected people. Done it my whole life. Kind of like instinct I guess. Got a little older and realized it’s what I was meant to do. Joined the military when I turned seventeen, stayed in for a long time. Did a few tours, saw some wild shit, and now I’m on reserves. I joined a little group of guys who also weren’t ready to stop and now we do close range protection. Got a call one day I’d been hired to watch over these guys and now here I am hauling water into the back of a truck and driving around a pretty girl.”

Your heart flutters in your chest at his admission. Shit. 

“You never wanted to do anything else?” you ask. 

“No. I feel my best when I am protecting others,” he says, his face stern and serious. “It’s in my blood.”

“That's very…admirable,” you say, feeling yourself swooning over the man next to you.

“Ahh, that’s not why I do it, though it does feel good to hear you say it,” he winks.

You feel your cheeks grow warm when he winks at you, and you quickly face forward before he notices. He smiles softly as he whips the truck through the streets, chewing his gum casually. 

Your phone starts to buzz in your lap, instantly zapping your attention. 

Ruth

11:02AM: CODE RED

11:02AM: SOS 

11:02AM: ANSWER MEEEEEEEE

You

11:03AM: WHAT! I’m here!!!

The next message that comes through is a photo, and not one you expected to see. It’s Jake and another woman looking awfully cozy on a porch swing. She’s pretty, gorgeous even. Way prettier than you are. It's a screenshot of an Instagram profile, the date of the photo showing it was posted almost a year ago. Your heart sinks again as you look at it, seeing Jake’s arm wrapped around her as her hand rests on his thigh. The caption reads ‘forever’. You swallow back the lump in your throat as you go back to your texts with Ruth. 

You

11:05AM: Holy fuck, where did you find that?

Ruth

11:06AM: On her profile, there's tons, babe. Some are…recent. Like very recent.

You

11:07AM: So he lied? He has a girlfriend? 

11:07AM: Oh shit am I a homewrecker? Oh my god and his phone was blowing up all night. I am totally a homewrecker bitch. 

11:08AM: HE LIEEEDDDD TO ME

11:08AM: RUTH WHAT DO I DO HELP ME 

Ruth

11:09AM: I don’t know for sure if they are together or not, the last post of the two of them was almost 6 months ago.

11:10AM: I wish I knew what to tell you, but I don’t know this guy at all and I can’t get a good read on her just from her socials. If they aren’t together now they definitely were recently. She used to post about him a lot and now she has slacked off a good bit. 

You

11:11AM: How did you even find her?

Ruth

11:12AM: Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to. ( I had to make a whole ass fake profile )

You

11:13AM: RUTHIE

Ruth

11:14AM: What?! I did what had to be done. I have no regrets, and all it took was a quick search of a tagged photo of the bassists girlfriend to find her. Did you know they do pilates together? Rich bitches. So anyways now my name is Cassandra and I also take Pilates classes at Well Body Pilates. 💅🏻

You

11:15AM: You found her through Sam’s girlfriend?!

Ruth

11:16AM: My mind is an intricate and beautiful web of deception and mischief 

You

11:17AM: Yeah, it’s also sick and twisted. Keep digging. I need to know what I’m dealing with here. I still haven't spoken to Jake.

11:17AM: Well, not really. He added a song to the playlist and I replied to it. I don’t know what I’m doing Ruth…

Ruth

11:18AM: Oh trust me, I’m digging and I don’t blame you for not answering him. I wouldn’t speak to him either. 

11:18AM: Little RAT

You

11:19AM: Ruth…

Ruth

11:20AM: 😇

Your heart is pounding in your chest as you look at the photo again. He looks happy. You feel your heart twist a little at the thought of him being in a relationship and cheating. You really didn’t think he was that kind of guy. You swallow the lump in your throat just as Murph turns to look at you. 

“Hey, uh, are you hungry?” he asks. 

You blink away your emotions, nodding your head. “Yeah, actually… I am.” you answer, knowing that you were supposed to spend the day with Jake, but now you can hardly stomach the thought. 

“You like pizza?” he smirks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Of course! Who doesn’t like pizza?”

He laughs a hearty laugh and tosses his head back a bit, “Good, that’s good, I know just the place.”

Your phone buzzes once more in your lap, and you flip it over to see another text from Ruth. 

Ruth 

11:22AM: Ps, who is Murph?

You smirk as you realize you haven’t gone into much detail about this new addition to the crew, yet. As he pays heavy attention to traffic and stoplights, you twist your phone in your lap to snap the sneakiest picture of him to send to Ruth. 

You

11:23AM: *Attachment*

New security guard. CUTE security guard. 😊

Ruth

11:24AM: Well HELLO THERE sir!!

11:24AM: Bitch if you don’t flirt with him, I’m flying across the ocean to do it myself

11:25AM: Jake who?????

You

11:25AM: I’m at work, Ruthie. Remember. 

11:26AM: But yeah we be flirting a little😛

You lock your phone to turn your attention back to professionalism, listening to the light music coming from the radio station Murph had chosen. 

JAKE POV

You stay close behind Josh and Ty as you meander the back alleyways of the city, taking in the beauty of the architecture and old-world style of the storefronts. Monty has tagged along today, hanging back and taking phone calls as the three of you walk. It’s cold, but not as cold as what you’d been enduring the past few days. Typically, you’d spend these free days by yourself, either hiding away in the hotel room or finding something private to partake in. Or, as of late, you would have spent it with Y/N, but after multiple texts and a phone call went ignored this morning, you decided to focus your attention elsewhere. 

“Odd of you to tag along with us, brother. Need to stretch your legs today?” Josh asks, pulling back from Ty a little. You know the tension is still high from your argument this morning, but you can tell that Josh is trying to brush it off to keep a cool head in front of Ty.

“Yeah, well. If you remember, I had plans today, but. They kind of fell through…” you answer him, avoiding eye contact. 

“Oh, with Y/N,” he acts like he only just remembered.

You nod, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, but she kind of blew me off. Hasn’t answered me all morning, still.”

“Ah,” Josh says with a slightly sarcastic tone. “Probably because Paul sent her out to get something for the crew, and Murph went with her.”

Wait, Murph?

“Murph went with her? Why? Where did she have to go?” you have a million questions, and you aren’t sure which ones to ask first.

Josh bites his tongue as he decides what to say. “I think they had to go get water for the crew or something, was gonna be a big job, so Murph volunteered to go and help her get it,” he explains. “They should be back later, though. Isn’t she coming up to the Tower with us later?”

You feel yourself seething. “Yeah. Well, was supposed to. Was supposed to hang out right now, too, but. We see how that ended up.”

“It’s not her fault, Jake, shit. Paul sent her on an assignment…”Josh defends her with a shrug. “I can tell you’re pissed for some reason. And I know it’s just not at me from this morning…”

“I’m not…pissed about that, I’m pissed she's actively ignoring me after what happened last night with–” You cut yourself off, truly not wanting to go into detail about Sam’s unexpected visit and what happened thereafter in front of Ty. 

“With Sam…? Yeah. I see you still haven’t heeded my advice…” he says with a snarl, whispering away from earshot of Ty. He shakes his head at you as you stay silent. He turns and stops you in your tracks, forming the illusion of an explosion with his fingers and hands, right in front of your face. “Ka-boom!” he whispers before turning away again. 

You know he’s right. This is all going to blow up in your face. 

Josh and Ty skip on ahead of you, slipping into a pub or something, you don’t know. You pull your phone from your pocket, seeing that she still hasn’t sent a thing. You swipe through a few notifications from Isla, knowing that those can be dealt with later, and bring up your music app to see if adding another song will get something out of her. 

What to add…

You file through your extensive library, finally landing on a song that’s a little out of your realm of normal listening, but will still catch her attention. You click the song, ‘While I’m Waiting Here’ by Billy Strings, selecting the three dots and adding it to the playlist. You hope she will see it and know that you’re still thinking about her, wanting to make this work, but at the same time you know you have buried yourself deep inside a hole that is lined with explosives, and all you can do is wait for the spark to ignite them. 

Should you have listened to Josh? Yes, absolutely. He’s right, you know he is. Josh is the angel on your shoulder whispering in your ear to err on the side of reason and honesty. But the devil on the other shoulder is standing firm in the fact that it’s truly none of Y/N’s business to know the details about your past with Isla; as far as you’re concerned, that part of your life is done. 

…But it’s not. It’s far from done. She still lives with you. The little devil is just spouting the words that you want to hear, weaving lies and deceit into his corrupt advice, and making you believe it to be justified.

You shove your phone back into your pocket as you slip inside the hidden pub door behind Ty and Josh, feeling the need for a beer the size of your head to take this fucking edge off. It’s truly pissing you off how hung up you are on this girl, and you’re even more pissed that she’s spending her day with a man that you know for a fact was able to make you extremely jealous. 

You take a barstool next to Josh as he orders three of the same whatever, and you slump down onto your elbows as you stare at the intricate mosaic artwork that adorns the short bartop. Your finger glides along the multicolored tiles, tracing the grout between them as you let your mind wander. Maybe you should just tell her. Tell her everything.

Suddenly a giant glass stein of beer is firmly plopped in front of your sullen face as Josh nudges his elbow into your shoulder. “Wake up, Eeyore. Time to take advantage of our day,” he heeds, so you slowly sit up. You truly must be presenting yourself like a heartbroken asshole.

You give him the evil eye as you lift the mug to your lips, letting the foam graze across your mustache. For the first time in a while, the instant jolt of alcohol hitting your system isn’t as much welcomed as it is irritating, but you decide to get past it, because what the fuck else are you gonna do?

You suddenly feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and your mood instantly lightens. You rip it out quickly, tapping the screen to see that finally, she has made contact. 

‘Y/N Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

The song she chose nearly made your heart fall straight into the hardwood floor beneath you. ‘Suspicious Minds’ by Elvis Presley.

Fuck. Fuck fuck. 

Could this truly get any fucking worse? And better yet, how in the hell are you going to fix it in such a way that you get a happy ending? You decide to grasp on to the fleeting second, opening your text thread with her to make contact even further. 

You

11:48AM: We still on for later?

Your heart rate spikes as you watch your phone in anticipation, feeling completely stupid for being this giddy and also somehow even more confused than before. You know she knows something is up, now. Suspicious is the absolute last thing you want her to be, but… she is a smart person. And you’ve been the idiot. 

Her text bubble pops up, typing for a very long time. 

Finally you receive a wordless text, a ‘👍🏼’ her only response. Okay, so it’s not a thumbs down, at least? But still, you were expecting at least a Yes. You decide to cut your losses, taking the contact as a tiny win, but knowing that the gut feeling of dread is only going to get worse as this beer in your hand empties.

—

The day passes without another word from her, and you know because you spent a large majority of the day checking your phone. You now find yourself pacing around your hotel room as you wait to hear about your evening plans, wondering if she would be involved in them.

You

7:56PM: What's the plan 

Sam

7:57PM: Aren’t we going to the towa

Josh

7:58PM: Yeah, I think we are meeting everyone downstairs at 8:30

You

7:58PM: Who all is going?

Josh

7:59PM: Everyone, it’s a crew outing

You

7:59PM: Great.

Josh

8:00PM: Suck it up Jake

Daniel

8:01PM: Yeah Jake 😋

You lock your phone and toss it on your bed, still a disheveled mess from this morning. You continue to pace around your room as your mind swirls with thoughts. You wonder why you hadn’t heard from her, even after her confirmation earlier. You wonder if she spent the whole day with Murph and what they did together. You grit your teeth together at the thought, snatching your phone off of the bed and deciding that if this is how she wants to do things, you too could play that game. 

As everyone assembles down in the lobby you find yourself looking for her, wanting just a glimpse of her to prove your wandering thoughts wrong. You groan inwardly when you find she isn’t around, and not shockingly, neither is Murph. As everyone loads into the vans you check your phone again, and still you have nothing from her. You find yourself getting a little pissed off at this game she is playing and again you tell yourself you can play it too, your desire growing by the second.

The ride to the tower is short, your knee bouncing the entire ride as you stare out the window. It's not long before you’re all piling out and breaking into groups, waiting for the last few stragglers to arrive. In the distance you see two people rushing towards you, laughing and smiling as they approach. You suck your teeth when you realize it's Y/N and Murph, definitely running late from what appears to be their day off spent together. 

You shove your hands in your pockets and turn to Josh, raising your eyebrows in question. He peers over your shoulder and catches sight of them, shrugging his shoulders before turning his attention back to Ty. Right.  

The two of them regain their composure quickly, but you can tell that Y/N has been drinking. Her cheeks are pink and a smile hasn’t left her face since she stepped up to the group. She hasn’t made eye contact with you yet, and you wonder if she even will. You turn to face them, giving her no choice but to acknowledge you, and when her eyes finally meet yours it's only for a split second before she tears them away. 

Okay, what the fuck.

Murph steps away to talk to Dean, and you finally get a second alone with her, hoping she will give you the time of day. 

“And where have you been all day?” you ask playfully, raising a brow. 

She raises her own and purses her lips, “Running errands for you and your crew.”

“Is that right? I thought you were off today?”

“I thought so too, apparently there was no water left and I couldn’t get it all on my own,” she answers, an edge of confrontation in her voice. Murph steps back over towards her, catching the tail end of the conversation. 

“I could have gone with you, you know.”

“No need man, I took good care of her,” Murph smiles, patting you on the back. 

You do your best to stifle back the scoff begging to rattle from your chest, nodding your head at him. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

The tour guide speaks up before he can answer, grabbing your attention to lead the group towards the entrance to the tower. You turn to look at Y/N, her eyes already on you as you meet them and you can tell there is something she wants to say. Instead, she walks ahead letting Murph trail behind her. 

—

Most of the tour is spent casting glances at each other, speaking with your eyes instead of your words. There is tension between the two of you, you can feel its cold grip around your neck with every meeting of your eyes. You were supposed to do this with her. You were supposed to bring her here. Just the two of you. Had she forgotten? Did she change her mind overnight? It would explain a lot. 

As you stare out into the twinkling city beneath you, the cold wind blows your scarf around. You find yourself wishing it was just the two of you, pointing out monuments and landmarks as you held her close to keep her warm. You turn around to look for her, deciding that you had to say something. Just get some kind of answer. 

You find her hanging out with Josh and Ty, the three of them smiling and laughing as Murph patrols the area for any potential threats. Josh notices you and breaks away from them, meeting you where you were instead of letting you join them. 

“First, fix your face. If you’re trying to sell the ‘nothing is wrong’ bit you’re doing a miserable job,” he says, placing his hand on his hip. 

You roll your eyes in response, flashing him a faux smile as you push him out of the way and head over towards her. Her eyes meet yours, her lips parting in surprise as you hear your name called from behind you. You look over your shoulder to find a woman with a longing look and a twinkle in her eye, nervously approaching. 

Murph rushes up behind her, giving you a look to let you know he will escort her away if you want him to. You quickly shake your head no, knowing that you can use this interaction to your advantage. 

“Hi, how are you?” you smile, greeting the woman excitedly. She's about your age, maybe a year or two younger, with striking eyes. 

“Hi Jake! I don’t mean to bother you, I was just wondering if I could take a picture with you? My friend and I?” she asks, motioning her equally as attractive friend toward her. 

“Hi there, nice to meet you,” you say, motioning them both in for a hug. You pull them in close, posing for a few photos as Y/N stands by watching. If you are right, and if you know her like you think you do, this will set her off. 

You can feel her eyes on you as you continue to talk and interact with the fans, all the while your mind filled with thoughts of her and the dark pink shade that has taken over her cheeks. 

You say goodbye to the fans, sending them off with a wave, turning on your heel to join Josh, Ty, and Y/N at the opposite end of the tower. 

“How they hell do they find us all the way up here?” Josh laughs, elbowing your arm. 

“No problem to take a photo or two with some pretty girls,” you quip, raising a brow at him. 

“Never is, is it Jake?” he laughs, and as you nod your head you flash a smile right to Y/N, knowing that your plan worked perfectly. 

—

You all load into the vans, making your way back towards the hotel. Y/N rides with Paul and Wes, and you know she is positively stewing with jealousy over your impromptu meet and greet. She would talk to you now, you were sure of it. You just had to wait. 

 As the vans drop you off at the hotel lobby you all meander inside, some of you opting for the hotel bar, while others headed up to their rooms. You stood off to the side, waiting to see what Y/N was going to do, and you think she was planning to do the same, that is, until Murph stepped up to her. 

“I can walk you up to your room if you want,” he offers, causing a scoff to leave your lips. You step up to the both of them with your hands in your pockets. 

“Why don’t I walk her up so that you can do your job and watch those idiots heading into the bar.”

He gives you a surprised look and nods his head. He bites his lips as he turns to Y/N, telling her a quick goodnight before disappearing into the hotel bar. Just when you think you’ve got her, Ty swoops in. 

“Actually, I’m walking her. Let’s go Y/N,” Ty says, linking arms with her and dragging her into the elevator with him. She shoots you a snarky look as the doors close, leaving you standing in the lobby empty handed, yet again. 

As you make your way up to your room, you start to think that your plan has backfired, and that not only have you made her mad, you’ve made her unnecessarily jealous too. You consider texting her as your door shuts behind you, but decide to leave the ball in her court and see if she reaches out. 

You take a quick shower, and wander back into your room, hearing your phone buzz on the nightstand. Your head instantly snaps over to look at it, hoping to see a message from her.  As you snatch it off the small nightstand your cheeks instantly heat seeing the notification on your screen. 

‘Y/N Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

You immediately tap the banner, watching as the playlist populates before your eyes. Your breath is stolen away as you see her addition, a smile pulling across your lips. ‘Need You Tonight’ by INXS was added two minutes ago. 

You realize what she is saying, and you consider responding with a song but you decide to up the ante and call her directly. The line rings only twice before she answers. 

“Hello?”

“Well, well, well,” you start, quickly getting cut off before you can finish your sentence. 

“Shut up, come to my room,” she snaps. 

“A little feisty this evening?” you taunt.

“Are you coming or not,” she whines. 

“Oh, so now you want to talk to me? It was the girls, wasn’t it, baby…”

“Have any of the girls ever told you that you have a big head?” she gripes. 

“No, but they’ve told me I have a massive di–” you start, hearing the chime as the call ends. She got you there. 

You quickly change into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, leaving your phone on the nightstand and swiping your room key as you rush out the door in search of her room without a second thought. 

—

You rap your knuckles against her door, stepping back as you wait for her to open it. Your nerves are swirling around in your body and you feel like you’re positively vibrating. You know you need to talk to her, but right now she wants you and you would never deny her that. 

The door swings open, revealing her barely there silky pajama set hanging haphazardly from her shoulders. She ushers you inside, shutting the door behind you. 

“I thought you’d come,” she quips. 

“Had to. First I’ve heard from you all day…” you taunt. “You forget about me?”

She pulls you by your hand into the room, sitting the two of you on the edge of the bed.

“No, didn’t forget at all, actually. Was just…preoccupied.”

“Mhmm, thought we had plans,” you say, brushing the hair away from her shoulder. 

“We did, but…”

“But what?” you ask, running your fingers down her arm. 

“But I had to do my job. You know the thing I’m here to do…” she grins. 

“I could have gone with you, you know.”

“Yeah, you could have but Murph offered.” she continues. 

“Yeah, did you two have fun on your little date?” you ask. 

“Date? Who said it was a date?” she questions. 

“Did you spend the entire day together? Did you show up to the tower a little tipsy or was that just my imagination?” you prompt. 

“You seem a little bit jealous, Jacob,” she says, resting her hand on your thigh. 

“Why’d you blow me off for him?”

“I was just doing my job and so was he,” she answers, feigning ignorance. 

You cup her cheek in your hand, letting your thumb rest on her lips, “Lie to me again.”

“Was just work.”

You pull her into your lap, connecting your lips to hers in a desperate, needy kiss. Her arms wrap around your neck as your hands settle on her hips, pulling her down to yours. 

“You need a reminder of why I’m here and he’s not?”

She parts her lips from yours, glossy and wet, “It’s not too late…”

A growl leaves your chest as you flip her over onto the bed, pinning her arms above her head with your hands. 

“Why are you being so ornery this evening, hm?” you ask, pressing your lips to her neck. 

“Why are you being so jealous?” she counters. 

“M’not jealous sweetheart,” you offer, sliding the straps of her top over her shoulders. 

“You’re surely acting it,” she says, letting you pull the top over her chest. 

“Just like you weren’t jealous of those girls tonight? I know that's why you called me here, baby.”

You press your lips to her chest, sucking a dark pink mark into her skin as her hands weave into your hair. 

“We never set any boundaries Jake. I’m not yours.”

You press your finger into the pink mark on her chest, blooming purple beneath your touch, “This would beg to differ.”

“We’re just sleeping together, Jake.”

“I’m well aware,” you say, dusting your thumb over her hardened nipple.

“So do what you’re here for…”

“Oh, you think you call the shots now? I have bad news for you, baby,” you say, tugging her shorts over her hips. 

“You think you’re in charge here?” she asks, shimming her hips to kick off the silky shorts.

“I know I am,” you answer, pulling your shirt over your head. 

“You would like to think that wouldn’t you,” she counters, watching you push your sweats down your legs. 

“You better watch it sweetheart, you’ve got me a little pissed off as it is,” you warn. 

“Me? What could I have done?” she smirks. 

“You know exactly what you did,” you answer.

She flashes you a knowing grin, wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling your lips down to hers connecting your mouths in a fiery kiss. Her tongue slides across your lips just as you part them, letting your tongue tangle with hers. She tastes of wine and mint, her tongue hot on your own. Your hand grips into her waist, feeling the smoothness of her skin on your fingers. 

You feel her hand snake between the two of you, grabbing your length and stroking you as her lips continue to explore yours. She pulls your body down to hers, swiping your tip through her wet center. You suck in a deep breath feeling her arousal coating you, and you realize that this game of cat and mouse has you more worked up than you thought. 

You push her hand away, taking back control, grabbing your dick as you continue to tease her. She is squirming beneath you, as desperate for you as you are for her. Her eyes are dark, her hair splayed across the pillow beneath her head as she looks at you. Her chest is heaving as she watches, the dim lighting in the room casting the perfect shadow against her body. 

You lick your lips as you press yourself to her entrance, her mouth forming a perfect ‘O’ as you push forward into her. You sink in easily, her body ready and willing to accept every inch of you as if it had been waiting for you. You settle yourself on your elbow above her, letting your free hand fall to her throat. You can feel her pulse beneath your fingers, rapid and pounding as her body adjusts to you. The darkness in her eyes grows as your grip on her neck tightens. 

“Yeah? You want more?” you ask, letting your fingertips dig into her skin. She nods her head quickly, biting her bottom lip. 

“Fuck,” you breathe, tightening the grip across her trachea just a little harder, forcing the breath from her lungs and her eyes to close shut. You take the initiative and pull yourself from her, thrusting back in almost as hard as you can, pausing there as you loosen your grip. 

Her eyes flash open as she inhales, a pitiful whine falling from her chest. “Fuck, Jake, just go…please, keep going…” she breathes, digging her nails into the skin of your back. 

“Feeling needy now, baby? What switched, huh?” you pant, feeling her squeeze herself around you. You pull out slowly, completely disconnecting yourself from her. Your hand is still balanced across her throat, waiting again for the opportune moment. “Ignore me all damn day, fuck…”

She bites her lips in as you hover above her, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of being fucked at her will. She stays quiet. 

“Nothing to say now?” You ask, gliding your tip along her wetness as you hear her breath hitch. 

“You’re the one who should have something to say, Jacob,” she bites, giving you a stern look of defiance. 

You huff in discernment, knowing exactly what she means, but still unable to go through with any conversation. She raises an eyebrow, her fingers still digging into your muscles. You're absolutely throbbing, your body begging you to get back to the task at hand. 

“It’s okay, I know you were preoccupied all day, watching my texts come over your phone… I was alone all day, wondering why you were the one to leave me high and dry this time…” you squeeze your fingers around her neck again as you thrust forward into her with a devilish grin, watching her face contort. You pick up the pace now, using your free hand to balance above her. 

Still yet though, she stays silent, leaving the room open for you to speak on what has been clouding both of your minds since Sam walked out the door last night. 

You can’t. You just fucking can’t. 

You continue pounding into her, the sound of your skin slapping together bouncing off the hotel room walls, uncaring of who could hear as they passed by in the hallway. Her whines become more desperate as your grip on her neck tightens, but you need her to know you’re serious about this, about how she blew you off without hardly a word. 

You pull yourself from her, standing onto the floor and reaching to turn her body around to lie on her stomach. You grip her ankles, yanking her down to stand on the floor with you before you press her top half down onto the bed, effectively bending her in half. 

You re-enter her from behind, gripping a hand in her hair as you turn her head to the side. Her cheeks are pink and puffy, her eyes glazed over with pleasure. Your thrusts feel unhinged and sloppy as you feel the sweat pooling between your eyebrows and across your chest. 

“Tell me you’re mine, Y/N…” you lean down, growling in her ear. “Say this is more than just sleeping together…”

She takes a sharp inhale as you drive yourself particularly deep. “I’m not yours, Jacob…that’s the thing. You—you never told me you wanted something m-more than this…” she breathes. 

You grit your teeth as you realize she’s right yet again. I’m not yours…

When you don’t answer her, she speaks up again. “D-do you want to be…mine?” She coos, almost a whisper that stands out against the loud obscenities happening in the room. 

Fuck… there it is, the fourth wall, broken. 

You open your mouth to answer her, yes, yes! I want to be yours, I want you to be mine… but only air escapes your lips. Suddenly when you look down at the beautiful woman you’re having sex with, all you can see is Isla. 

All you can feel is guilt. All you can experience is remorse, and regret, and wrongfulness…

You feel like a shell of yourself. This isn’t right, you and Isla are done. Over with. You can’t stand the thought of being with anyone else except Y/N even if you tried. 

But there, the image of the gorgeous face of your first love is burying itself deep into the fibers of your being. 

You don’t love Isla anymore. Your subconscious is just telling you you need to make this right. 

“Jake…” her voice pulls you from your thoughts. “Guess I’ll take that as a no…”

You pull her hair again, lifting her body back to stand with yours, back to chest. “You take that as no one else can fuck you like I do…no one else can make you feel like I can, isn’t that right, baby?” you crow, avoiding the subject altogether. Stupid. Fucking stupid. 

You continue fucking into her, her hands reaching back behind you to twist into your hair as you feel her getting closer; your words making her come unraveled. “Tell me I’m right, tell me it’s just me…”

She keeps quiet as she steps one knee followed by the other onto the bed, arching her back and stepping her knees apart for you to sink more deeply into her. Fuck, this view…

“God damnit baby, you don’t know what you do to me…” you purr, grabbing her asscheeks with both hands as your thrusts become erratic and jagged, you almost forget that she didn’t answer you. 

Her cries become deafeningly high as your fingers dig into her, unbridled and vicious, both of you searching for that high you are so close to reaching. 

“Ja-aaake…” she cries, her legs shaking and jerking as you feel her muscles fluttering around you as she unravels, and you aren't far behind. You pull out, sending your streams across her back as your vision blinds you with white light. 

You both stay in that position for a minute or so as you catch your breath, skin hot and dripping as you feel the weight of the situation come down over you. You slip to the bathroom to get her a warm cloth, returning back to the room to get her cleaned up. 

As the two of you lay spent and sweaty on the sheets you hear her phone buzz on the dresser and realize you left yours in your room. You roll towards her as she reaches for it, swiping away a calendar notification with a gentle sigh. You press a kiss to her bare shoulder, watching her eyes blink slowly as she looks at the screen. You want to talk to her. You want to tell her everything that happened between you and Isla. Everything that is still happening. But again, you fear ruining what feels like such a perfect moment with something so dark and twisted.

“Early day tomorrow,” she says, her voice tired. 

“Yeah, I think we have a few interviews before soundcheck,” you confirm. “Though, I don’t know what time. I left my phone in my room.”

“How come?”

“Oh, um, no reason. Just didn’t need it. You’re the only person I wanted to talk to I suppose,” you answer.

“You should probably check, you might have to be up early too,” she grins. 

“I guess I could go grab it,” you smile back, feeling a warmth in your chest that she doesn't want you to leave. 

You stand up from the bed, pulling your sweats back on and your shirt over your head. You pull your room key from your pocket and just as you are about to speak she stops you. 

“I’ll see you in the morning?”

Oh. Oh you got this all wrong. 

Fuck. 

You clear your throat in surprise, “Oh um. Yeah, yeah I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Jake…”

“Night, beautiful,” you answer, walking towards her door. You step through the doorway feeling more confused than you ever had. After the sex, what she said, everything in between, her actions were not meeting up with her words. 

You spend the entire walk back to your room thinking about it. You just got booty called and kicked to the curb. While this is typically something that wouldn’t bother you, tonight it did. It stings a little, mostly because it was her. You try not to think too much more about it as your door shuts behind you, and as you step over to find your phone right where you left it, you see a missed call from Isla, only driving in the knife in your chest a little deeper. 

—

HER POV

As you rip the plastic covering off a veggie tray, you hear the green room door squeak open, revealing the smiling face of Murph popping inside. 

“Hey, you all good in here?” he asks, glancing around to find you alone and busy. “Need a hand with anything?”

You grin and shake your head side to side. “No, I’m all good, thanks. You not busy rushing around chasing after those four?”

He bites his upper lip. “Um, yes. I am. Just wanted to say hello.” His hand slaps the wooden door as you give him a thankful smile, and it swings closed as he leaves you alone again. 

Just wanted to say hello, huh?

Your chest feels warm at his little sentiment, as careless as it was. The morning spent with him was nothing short of a mental reset, seeing as how the life you’ve been living with Jake now feels like a rollercoaster that’s about to break apart at the highest point. You’d spent your morning laughing and sharing stories with Murph as he expertly navigated the streets of Paris, your mind effortlessly drifting away from the impending drama that Ruth had discovered. Murph took your mind off it without even trying.

You hear your text notification ding on your phone as you finalize the craft table, and you pull it out to see a text from Ruth. 

Ruth

4:59PM: You’re still ignoring him, right? Not giving him the time of fucking day, RIGHT?

You

5:00PM: Well, yes and no…

Ruth

5:00PM: BITCH? What do you mean????

You dust your hands off and take a seat on the couch, crossing your legs and remembering that someone could invade your privacy at any given minute. 

You

5:01PM: We kinda… hooked up again last night?

Ruth

5:02PM: ALKSJFLSKGFHLKSDJFBNL

5:02PM: Please tell me you’re fucking joking…

You

5:03PM: 😬

Ruth

5:03PM: Oh my fucking goddddd Y/N okay. Okay! It’s fine. I hate you, what the fuck?

You

5:04PM: I DONT KNOW! Listen. I was trying to give him an opportunity to talk to me. And he didn’t. If it’s any consolation, he tried to act all big and bad about hooking up, and I didn’t play into it AT ALL. In fact I kicked him out promptly after.

Ruth

5:06PM: I’m screaming into the void.

5:06PM: So what now?

You

5:06PM: Now nothing. I’m back to avoiding him.

Ruth

5:06PM: Ok slay I guess.

You

5:07PM: And I guess that we will go out tonight after the show.

Ruth

5:02PM: Just the two of you? Or is Hottie McSexy coming along too?

You

5:03PM: Everyone usually goes. And seeing as how it’s his job to be up their asses, I’m positive McSexy will be there too.

Ruth

5:04PM: Okay and maybe The Rat will take this opportunity to explain to you that he has a female counterpart waiting for him at home, yes? Since he didn’t do it before FUCKING YOU last night?

You

5:05PM: I’m hoping. Until then, I ignore him harder. 

Ruth

5:05PM: That’s my boo thang. Lmk how it goes.

You scroll up in your texts with Ruth, seeing the dreaded screenshots of Jake with her, sitting comfortably together on what you imagine to be their porch swing. She’s so fucking pretty… he’d be stupid to let her go? 

You take a deep breath, the reminder of it all making you build your wall up even higher. You glance at his backpack sitting in the corner where he always tends to leave it, making the decision that tonight, you won’t fulfill his request for grabbing his wine. Honestly, he can figure something else out. There are plenty of options in the refrigerator. Fuck it. 

—

You stay absent when they take the stage, requesting that Paul hand them their drinks tonight, as you have a “female emergency” to attend to in the restroom. Complete lie, but he doesn’t ask questions. You hide away in the restroom as you envision Jake’s confusion when Paul doesn’t have a drink to hand him. Paul normally doesn’t have much to do during the actual shows, so grabbing a drink or two for Jake shouldn’t be an issue. 

After about ten minutes of hiding you rejoin Paul, noticing that he had grabbed a few seltzers for Jake and lined them up beside his amp. Ha ha. Watching the show alone from side stage feels strange tonight as Ty, Mia, and Lyla have decided to stand on Sam’s side. You hang back in the wings a bit, distracting yourself from watching Jake try his best to get your attention for the entirety of the show. But you don’t let him get the best of you, intentionally ripping your eyes away from him each and every time eye contact is made.

After the encore, you energetically hand Josh, Danny, and Sam their towels, showing little to no emotion in the act of handing Jake his, at all. You have to let him know you’re upset. And if he doesn’t pick up on your body language and lack of communication, he will at least notice your blatant ignorance of his existence. 

You fall into the middle of the group as everyone exits backstage toward the green room. “Hey, Y/N, talk to me…” you hear him say from behind you as he grabs your hand, pulling you back from following everyone else down the dimly lit hallway. “What’s going on?” he asks when you finally turn, his eyes full of heavy sorrow. 

You rip your hand from his grasp, his touch feeling like a foreign stranger. “Nothing, Jake,” you lie, biting your tongue and turning to walk away. 

“Hey, please, talk to me…” he begs, his hand raking across your back as you turn away. “I know I… we need to talk, I think…” his voice is strained over the loud sound of the exit song. 

“You think?” you bark back, making harsh eye contact with him for the first time all night. He’s left speechless as Murph makes his way up behind you, pulling you away from the moment. He shines his flashlight onto the ground in front of Jake, ushering him along. 

“Come on Jake, let’s get you out of here…” Murph pushes without even giving you a passing glance.

Jake gives him a quick look of distaste before giving you an up down, and following behind Murph as they make their way down the remainder of the hallway. You’re left standing alone in the darkness under the high metal beams of the stage, feeling more conflicted than ever. And not to mention, still seething with anger. 

—

Your hands feel shaky as you busy yourself with cleaning up the food and drinks in the green room, your face flushed and your hearing muddled as the anger courses its way through your veins. It’s hot and loud, the guys all still amped up on post-show adrenaline and wanting to continue on their highs for the night. 

“Where are we headed, guys?” Mia asks as she sits herself down on the couch.

“Ah, me Jake and Ty found a quiet little place earlier today, it was tiny and tucked away, we could go back there?” Josh speaks up, still clad in his shiny jumpsuit. You try your best to tune them out, pressing play on your phone to listen to whatever music was playing on your singular earbud. 

“Doooooo they have… cheap beer?” Sam sings. 

“I don't know about cheap, but they have beer…” Ty replies through a laugh. 

“Perfect!” Sam yells as he stands from his seat. “Let us go!”

You notice how quiet Jake has stayed, a switch from his normal partaking in the rambunctiousness of post-show excitement with his brothers. You hear them all begin to get themselves together and file out. You know one of them is going to ask if you’re coming along, they always do. So you muster up the courage to make a decision, when all you really want to do is retreat back to your hotel room bed for the night. 

But no. You know what?

“Y/N! You coming?” you hear Ty’s voice bellow over the group. You turn and catch his eyes as you watch him wink at you. He nods his head in a ‘come on’ motion. Ty always knows.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Jake pause, waiting for your answer. 

“Yeah, I could use a drink tonight!” you say. “I’ll finish up here and be right behind you. Send me the address?”

“Sure thing, see you in a bit,” Ty responds. “It’s literally right around the corner.”

—--

You saunter confidently into the pub, finding your whole group to have taken up the majority of the place, it’s so small. Just like always, your eyes immediately click with Jake’s first, and when he doesn’t break the contact, you pull yourself away, latching on to Ty and Josh at the other end of the bar. 

Just like in the green room, the air is heavy and hazy and loud, everyone still riding their highs and letting the drinks flow. You decide on something a little heavier tonight, knowing that you abso-fucking-lutely deserve it after the day you’d endured. 

You catch sight of Murph posted in a corner booth, chewing on a toothpick as his head stays on a swivel. He catches you looking, giving you a tiny smile before letting his eyes scan the room again. 

You make yourself at home on a barstool, and just before lifting a round of shots into the air with Ty and Josh, you feel Jake’s presence behind you again, interrupting you. You meet him with a questioning look, obviously perturbed at the feeling of his hand on your back as you try to celebrate with his twin. 

“Go ahead,” he concedes, motioning for you to take the shot. So you do, never looking away from him as you let the liquor flow down your throat, urging yourself to not make a face as you swallow it down. 

“Can I help you with something?” you ask, your voice sounding a little more vengeful than you’d meant to. The liquor is definitely already working. His face pulls back, shocked at your words. He almost looks hurt. 

“Shit, I guess not…” he says. “I’ve just been–”

“Jake! Come here!” you hear Danny yell from a few tables away. “Hurry!”

Jake looks at Danny and back at you, and you raise your eyebrows toward him, urging him to go on. You can’t talk here. Not in this environment. And honestly, you’re having way too much fun getting drunk and ignoring him while you steal passing glances with Murph from across the room. 

After a little while, Murph comes and sits at the barstool beside you, talking to Josh while you sit between them. They’re discussing something work-related, but Murph is purposefully leaning in to you, his toned torso brushing heavily into your shoulder. You’re not really listening to them, as your mind has gone absolutely fuzzy at the feeling of him touching you. What the fuckkkkkk. The tequila lining your veins most definitely isn’t helping the fact that you are wholeheartedly loving this, knowing that Jake is standing three feet away, watching it all unfold. And the best part is, you’re locked into your bar stool, unable to get up if you wanted to. They’ve caged you in. 

“Isn’t that right, Y/N?” you hear Murph’s silky smooth drawl interrupt your thoughts. 

“What? What?” you perk up. 

“The twenty cases of water we loaded will most likely be gone in a week and a half, yeah?” he says, rolling the toothpick between his teeth as his eyes stay bouncing around the room. 

“Oh! Yeah, actually, probably so, with the way the crew drinks it,” you agree, not really caring about the subject as Josh laughs it off. 

“Murph, you know you’re horrible at paying attention to conversations?” you say without a shadow of a filter. 

“What?” he asks through a smile. 

“Your eyes. You never stop looking around. You hardly ever look someone in the eye when they’re talking to you…” you go on explaining. Josh has now abandoned the conversation, turning back to Ty. 

You feel Murph lean in even closer to you, his mouth only inches from your ear. “I’m trained to watch, Y/N. Trained to always be aware, all of the time. But, I can assure you, when I’m not on the job, my attention is 100% focused on who I’m spending my time with.”

His words make your stomach swirl. “Mmm, I’d have to see it to believe it.”

He pulls back, his neck still twisting right to left to right again. “Maybe you will sometime.”

Just then, you feel your phone buzz in your lap, and you lift it to see a notification through the blurriness of your intoxicated vision. 

‘Jake Added A Song to Your Shared Playlist: 🐥’

Your stomach drops as you know he is watching you see the notification. You open the playlist, scrolling to the bottom to see what in the hell he could have added right now. 

Of course, ‘Don’t Let Me Down’ by the Beatles. 

You scoff, feeling like if anyone is being let down, it’s you. You let your phone fall back into your lap before turning your attention back to your drink and to your conversation with Murph. You know Jake is watching, still, and you know that seeing you ignore him was only pissing him off more. 

And for some reason, it gets you hot. 

Stop it, Y/N, fuck. The horrid and ridiculous thoughts of Jake being jealous of you and the man sitting beside you has your stomach in excited knots, and you know it’s just the alcohol, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t absolutely turn you on, similarly to what had happened last night. 

You feel the energy in the room shift as everyone begins to make moves to leave. You feel a little sad, realizing that your intoxication has only just hit its peak. “Aw, we leaving already?” you ask no one in particular. 

“Looks that way…” Murph says as he stands from his stool. You catch sight of Jake sticking close to Josh and Danny as they make their way to the exit. 

“Murph, my friend, why don’t you take the rest of the night off?” Dean says as he comes up behind you, laying a hand on Murph’s shoulder. “Monty and Sasha and I have got this, not a far walk back.”

“Oh, no no, it’s okay. I’m good…” he argues. 

“Ah, come on, Murph! Stayyyyyy…” you beg playfully, giving him yearning eyes. But they were for good reason, you want him to stay. 

“You’ve had a long day, kid. Rest of us relaxed while you loaded water. Stay. Have a beer or three…” Dean gives him no choice as he makes a quick exit, ushering the rest of the group out the door. Jake never even turns around. 

“Well! Uh, that’s never happened before!” Murph says as he anxiously rubs his hands over his pants. “Guess uh, guess I’m off the clock?”

“Ha, ha! Guess you are!” you say confidently, sipping from your skinny straw. “Sir, this gentleman will have your largest pils,” you motion to the bartender, earning a nod. 

“Oh, you ordering for me now?” Murph laughs, turning sideways in his stool to face you.

“Yeah, got a problem?” you say, bumping your shoulder into him and feeling more confident now that you aren’t under the watchful eye of everyone else. 

The bartender sets the beer on a coaster in front of Murph, and he reaches for a salt shaker, sprinkling a little onto the foamy head of the draft. “Nah, no problem at all, ma’am.”

“Ma’am?!” you exclaim. “Aren’t I a little young to be referred to as that?” you ask. 

He shakes his head as he takes a drink. “No, where I’m from, everyone of equal age or older is referred to as ma’am, or sir. ‘S just how I was raised, not meant to be offensive.”

“Oh,” you say, still surprised. “Of equal age, how do you know how old I am?” you press. 

He sets his beer down, rubbing his hands against each other. You catch sight of his calloused palms and gritted fingernails, being instantly attracted that he works with his hands. “Well, I know you’re over twenty-three, twenty-four because, obviously, you have no problem holding your liquor… you’re not over thirty-five, because you just called a beer a Pils. You have experience in your profession and you hold yourself well, and you got really excited and knew all the words when that Nickelback song randomly came on the radio in the truck this morning.”

Oh, my god? He… pays attention…

“Sooo…” you mutter. 

“So, I’m going to guess… twenty-six.”

Your jaw falls open. “Holy shit.”

He smiles smugly as he takes a large drink of his beer, reaching his hand up to pat himself on the back. 

“How did you do that?” you ask, stunned. 

He shrugs. “It’s a gift, I’m also trained to read people.” He leans in, giving you a playfully suspicious glare. 

“Okay, so read something else,” you urge, sitting up taller in your seat. 

You feel the skin on your chest turn red as you try to hold your confidence. He takes a deep breath, scanning his eyes all over you. “Something is bothering you tonight. You don’t normally drink tequila, only when you’re trying to forget about something, distract yourself. You keep checking your phone but you’re keeping it face-down, so you don’t get caught off guard by a notification. You’re choosing when you let yourself look at it, telling me you like to be in control of situations.  And, if I had to guess, what’s bothering you has something to do with that important call you missed this morning.”

Holy shit…again. What the…

“Alright, alright, you can stop now,” you wave him off, turning away and sipping from your straw again. 

You hear him laugh through his nose. “Told you, it’s a gift.”

“Yeah well, you– you’re too good,” you bark. 

His hand gently sits on your arm, the warmth emanating off his palm. “Hey, just forget about it, whatever it is. We’re here to have some fun, huh?”

His words are friendly and reassuring as you feel that same swirl erupt in your stomach again. “Yeah, you’re right,” you concede. “Fun. Actually, ever since they left, your eyes haven’t scanned the room even once.”

He blushes. “I can relax, Y/N, if given the opportunity.” His eyes fall to your lips, and you watch as he sucks in a tight breath, feeling no embarrassment that you caught him in the act. You reach your tongue to swipe across your bottom lip, taking the entirety of him in with your eyes, too. Suddenly visions of you and Jake last night come flying back into your memory, but you push them away, knowing that it’s only your subconscious telling you you’re about to make a rash decision. But you go against your gut, knowing that you had given Jake more than enough chances to make things right. And he had taken exactly zero of them. 

You place a hand on the edge of your stool, leaning in closer to him. “Are you enjoying your opportunity?” you whisper. 

You feel the unfamiliar but welcome graze of his light touch on your thigh, his hand barely ghosting up from your knee. “Very, very much so…”

There’s a heavy pause in the conversation as the two of you inch in closer, so close that you can feel his exhales hitting your lips. His eyes are darting quickly across your face as you feel his breathing pick up a little, the warmth of his body physically pouring itself on to you. Your heart is beating so fast you can hardly stand it, and the anticipation of his proximity is making you more dizzy than the tequila did. 

You breathe in heavily through your nose, the smell of his cologne finally making sense in your mind. Pine. He smells like pine.

As your lips barely ghost his, a zap of electricity courses through your body, and Jake is the absolute furthest thing from your mind. All you can think about is Murph. All you can feel is him, he’s surrounding you, clouding up your mind entirely…

His breath hitches at the tiniest bit of contact that’s made and you take a second to press into him a little further. 

“Murph…” you whisper against him. “What’s your real name?”

You can tell he’s holding himself back, letting you be the one to make the attempt to finally connect the two of you. Your eyes flutter closed as your ears go almost completely deaf, taking in the feeling of the softness of his lips as they smile sweetly against yours. 

“Ezra… Ezra Murphy,” he breathes. 

“Ezra…” you repeat, kissing into his mouth with the utmost caution while letting all of your insecurities tumble down around you. Suddenly there’s no sound, there’s no light, there’s no air left in your lungs… just him, only him, and the tightness of his hand on your thigh as he kisses you back. You lean into him, opening your mouth just a little bit more to let him in. His thick mustache is rough on your skin, but you couldn’t care less. You feel his tongue barely press through before pulling back again… the tiny breaths going in and out through his nose only adding to the sweet taste of him. His other hand finds your cheek, his thumb drifting across your chin as his fingertips gently grip at your skull. Fuck, he feels good… he feels really, really fucking good…

You exhale hard as you disconnect the fairly quick kiss, a stunned and surprised look of intrigue taking over both your haughty expressions. “Wow…” you mutter. 

“Yeah, wow…” he parrots. “I’ve wanted to do that all night…”

“Uh-uhm…” you hear someone behind him clear their throat. You both disconnect contact as you turn around, finding none other than Josh holding his credit card between his two fingers, tapping its edge on the bar. “Sorry to uh, interrupt…” he says, forcing a fake smile. “Forgot my card.”

Fuck. Shiiiiiit. Oh fuck fuck fuck.

“Oh, no big deal, man. You uh, you need me to walk you back?” Murph collects himself, turning directly back into work mode. 

“No no, stay here. Monty’s outside,” Josh responds, looking directly at you. “You two enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Josh walks away and disappears through the door as you’re left completely stunned, unable to form a thought. Murph spins back around to face you, a little bit taken aback himself. “That was kinda awkward…” he laughs. 

“You think?” you try to laugh along, all the while feeling an overwhelming wave of emotions. 

Embarrassed, confused, pissed, turned on…

“Um. You uh, you ready to go back?” Murph asks, wiping his fingers across his lips as he throws some money down onto the bar. 

“Think that’s probably best,” you agree, standing to grab your jacket off the back of the stool. 

As you and Murph walk silently back to the hotel, the alcohol hits you a little differently, adding heavier emotions than you could bear to carry. You want to reach out and grab his hand, let him steady you as you stumble your way back home, but you know that’s not in your best interest, right now. He gives you tiny smiles and offers to open the lobby doors, letting you walk inside before him to the elevator doors. 

You both climb inside as the doors close behind you. “You want me to walk you the rest of the way up?” he asks, knowing he is getting off a few floors before you. 

You lean your back against the wall of the elevator, crossing your arms across your chest. “No, I’ll be okay. Thank you, though.” Your voice feels heavier as the elevator ascends. 

Finally, the elevator stops and the doors open to his floor. “Wait, Murph…” you stop him. He turns back to face you, his hand stopping the doors from closing. “I uh, I had fun with you, tonight.”

His lips curl up into a small smile. “Me too, Y/N. Thanks for helping me relax, I’m actually a little sad it got cut short…” he says.

“Me, too,” you agree with a nod, and he steps back from the sliding doors, offering you a wave of goodnight before the doors enclose you and your thoughts completely.

As you walk back into your hotel room ready to strip down and let the warmth of the covers envelop you again, you somehow wish you could take it all back. Wish you would have never been seated next to Jake on that very first flight. Wish you would have never followed him into that random bar bathroom…

Your mind is so fuzzed up it almost feels blank. You like Jake, you really do. But the longer he waits to tell you the truth, the more resentment you hold toward him. The last thing you want to be is someone who destroys a home. The shame you feel for even texting him last night is one of the heaviest you’ve ever felt in your life. 

And Murph, his protection… blissfully unaware of the entire situation at all, being a gentleman and treating you with open kindness. Fuck. It’s all so fucked. 

You’re feeling your eyelids start to droop as you hear your phone buzz beside you, the light blinking you awake. 

It’s not a text, though…it’s an instagram notification. 

There in the center of your screen is a request from Jake’s partner herself. 

Ms. Isla J. Whitman would like to be your friend. 

Isla…

.

.

.

.

.

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[sunshine-and-moonshine]

Cod Monster Au Facts and Snippets

Requested: Yes! [Would love to see more headcanons on ur monster au, if you have anymore to spare 💖💖💖]

Warnings: slight angst and mentions of death in Ghost’s, implied mental torture in Alejandro’s

A/N: Enjoy!

Ghost

As mentioned in the previous part, Ghost is a fairly new vampire, turned back around the 50’s or so

He’s not sure exactly WHEN it was for two reasons

1) because of how much time had passed

2) because he spent like twenty or so years in a coffin six feet under after someone found him lying in an alley with his throat ripped out (and the poison takes a WHILE to fully set in)

Digging himself out of that one was…..weird. And disorienting.

Part of him was a bit sad to have probably missed the rest of what was left of his family’s lives with no clue on any of the future generations

But at the same time, he always felt himself a burden, something that brought torment into the lives of everyone he knew

He thinks they’d be better off without him anyways

Until you convince him otherwise

“Tommy had a kid, probably had another one or two after I was gone.” Ghost grumbles quietly, wondering why he let you talk him into this. Whatever sucker cursed with sharing blood with him was probably better off without his interference. But at the same time…..he yearned to know what had become of the rest of his family. To set things right for being forced to leave them behind all those years ago. “He’d be about 80 or so now, I think.”

“That’s a good start.” You tell him, resting your hand on his. With you, he was sure that he could do this. Even if it hurt that everyone he knew, even Tommy’s little baby, were probably gone.

Soap

In love with snout rubs and kisses

But not opposed to belly rubs as well

He takes such pride in his skin, making sure it’s always clean and pristine, shiny and smooth

Once he’s gotten a bit more comfortable with you around his skin, he’ll be begging you to touch it all the time

Might even ask you to wear it (*coughinbedcough*)

Low key curious if there’s a way to turn you into a selkie

If not, he’ll try and find just about anything else to turn you into cause he doesn’t want to live the rest of his very long life without you

Can and will explain selkies in depth to you with little to no prompting

Which leads to him blabbering about his family as well

“I’m the best swimmer in my family!” Soap tells you one evening as you walk together in shallow water on the beach, his smile full of excitement.

“Oh?” You ask, your own smile full of amusement.

“Yeah! My eldest brother, Jack, is the slowest. But my dad is pretty fast. And my sister, Isla, is pretty slow too, but not as slow as Jack. And my littlest brother Luca is almost as fast as me but not quite, and my little brother Harris is almost as fast as him. And my older brother Leo is-” Soap continues, blabbering so fast that the words all seem to blend together. But at least he was happy!

König

BIG AND FUZZY

So so fluffy

Like a big giant reddish-brown cloud

I hope you’re okay with slobber cause once he’s transformed, he’ll be all over you

Licking anywhere he can reach

He’ll also be very whiny if you try to stop cuddle sessions for any reason, even if it’s a necessity like going to the bathroom

It’s all part of his territorial thing, needing you to smell like him

HATES scented soaps and lotions and stuff for this very reason, cause it washes away his scent so much faster

“Seriously?” You asked, your arms crossed over your chest, eyes narrowed.

The giant bipedal wolf in front of you at least had the decency to look a little bit ashamed, surrounded by all the shredded up bottles of scented soaps and shampoos and other washing material. His ears folded back, a low whine rising from his giant maw.

“You’re lucky you’re so cute.” You grumble, making him perk up a bit, a dopey look of joy rising onto his face as his tail starts to wag, slapping against the wall and knocking over various items from the shelves. “…..you’re cleaning that up.”

Alejandro

Alejandro likes to hang out in dreams a lot, even when he’s not making them sexual to feed off of someone

For you, he’ll always make your dreams good (when he’s not making them sexy anyways)

And while usually he doesn’t interfere in the dreams of others, he will not hesitate to give anyone who pisses him off nightmares

This includes people who get close to you

Nobody is safe on the off chance that they’re unkind to you

“Alejandro.”

“Yes, Mi Amor?” He asks, an innocent look on his face. One that means he is certainly not innocent.

“Why is my cousin in a mental hospital spouting about demons in his dreams?” Your brow twitches as you say this and Alejandro can’t help but find it cute.

“I don’t know! Maybe someone thought he was treating his family horribly and deserved to be taken down a notch or two.” Alejandro says, his smile growing mischievous, even when you flick his ear. “Ow.”

[gremlin-cryptid]

Welcome to Icarus should be going to sleep but autism says its time to piece together timeline stuff

Spoilers for Fablesmp / Finale stuff ahead!

So Heyhay said that Icarus "died" (read: Memories funky because they're now Quixis) after both Isla/Orchid and Fable left the brothers.

Im trying to piece together when that was- cause Midas said they were younger than them when their eye started bleeding-

Info:

- In Notes #1 theres a 7th birthday note from Orchid to Rae

- 5 year age difference between the brothers

- Orchid has been missing for two years in Notes #3

So my best guess while half asleep and without rewatching any vods is at this point the brothers are ~9 and ~14 (going off the assumption Orchid was kidnapped while Rae was ~7)

- Fable shows up at this point

- Hes there for at least ~138 days based on Notes #3

- Hes gone in Notes #4

So best guess is brothers are now ~10 and ~15

My theory is around this point is when Icarus "dies" in Raes memories (during Epilogue)

- They're still younger than Midas

(Midas was 17? Is what I've heard-)

So yeah roughly 10-11 year old who watched his mom get taken probably only a year or so prior loses his only remaining family and yk Fable made him forget his one and only friend.

[nicohischierz]

the makeup: nico hischier x devs!reader

tagging: @ivy-34, @francesfarhadi, @hzstry8, @cixrosie, @itsnotgray, @estapa94, @trevs-swiftie, @heartz4hisch

nico was panicking.

how could you just disappear from the apartment without so much as telling anyone? especially now that you were pregnant.

immediately, nico checked find my iphone, but your location didn't show up. he checked snap maps as well but you'd turned your location off, making the hischier man even more worried.

"isla please tell me you know where y/n is," he pleaded on the phone.

on the other line your best friends rolled her eyes. “what do you want nico,” she asked.

“isla, i want to talk to y/n/n, please just tell me where she is,”

“oh so now that she’s gone you want to talk?”

nico sighed and looked to jack, the phone was on speaker, jack just shrugged he had to agree with his ex.

“i didn’t want to talk when i was angry okay, so please tell me she’s with you and i’ll come pick her up” nico justified.

“she’s not with me.”

nico groaned, banging his head on the table. jack was scrolling on his phone before he spoke up “she’s not with isla, maybe try calling her.”

shaking his head, nico looked through his phone to dial another person.

“nico hischier do you know what time it is?” amanda asked.

“amanda, please tell me y/n/n’s with you,” nico responded.

over the phone nico could hear amanda sigh. “nico, i’m going to give you some advice and i really think you should listen to it,”

nico’s silence served as an ‘okay’ for amanda to continue.

“you and y/n have gone through great lengths to keep this relationship a secret. you’ve been dating for what a year and a half and your fans still don’t know. that just shows how willing you are to look after your girlfriend. but when you’ve got a pregnant girlfriend who’s had to put her career on hold you don’t get to shout at her,”

“i know and that's why i want to talk to her,” he interrupted.

"nico, go to sleep. she's finally gone to sleep and she shouldn't be disturbed. go to sleep and the two of you can talk tomorrow," amanda advised him.

although, the mother couldn't see him, nico nodded. "yeah okay. goodnight, sorry for disturbing you," he apologised.

nico didn't sleep very well.

he tossed and turned all night thinking of a way he could plead for you to come back home.

nico woke up to a pleasant surprise, amanda had sent him the address to where you were.

"she's in fucking boston," nico cursed.

he, jack and timo were gathered in jack's apartment waiting to go pick you up.

"great, now pack your bag and let's get on the team plane we can head to this address when we land," jack ushered.

nico looked at his alternate in confusion.

"we're playing the bruins nico. in boston," he informed.

that was all it took for nico to haul ass into the plane.

meanwhile in boston

"marchy, i don't want you to hurt him," you repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

brad gave you a pointed look "are you sure cause sid said he's ready to knock a few teeth in and flower's planning on tripping him he comes close enough to the net," he rambled.

"hold on, how do flower and sid know?" you asked.

brad paused for a second. you weren't supposed to know about the group chat.

"bradley kevin marchand. how do sidney crosby and marc-andre fleury know I'm not talking to my boyfriend?" you asked again.

"i may have texted the group chat," he answered.

brad then spent thirty minutes explaining that all the older guys in the league that wanted to look out for you, created a group chat to keep each other up to date about your whereabouts.

he then confessed to there being a league-wide group chat filled with both old and young guys who care about you.

you were going to blame your hormones but the thought of people in the league caring about you made you cry.

and faith always had perfect timing as the doorbell rang.

brad had an inkling of who it could be so he asked you to get it.

upon opening the door, you were met with nico's worried face staring at you in relief.

the devils captain brought you in for a hug, not caring that the two of you were fighting previously.

"schatzli, you have to promise me you won't do this again. i was so worried about you I couldn't sleep and I called everyone but they didn't know where you were until amanda sent me your location this morning. when I saw you were here I realised that you probably flew and that's not exactly safe for the baby so I started panicking even more," he ranted.

"i'm sorry," you interrupted.

"no schatzli, you have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who got mad at you for no reason, I shouldn't have shouted at you especially now that you're pregnant," he apologised.

"it's just so hard seeing you guys play and not be there with you. like guys who are injured still get to go on the ice but I can't and it sucks. and none of the guys come visit anymore and it makes me think you guys forgot me," you whispered the last part.

nico's eyes softened at your hurt expression.

"i'm so so sorry my love. it's all my fault. i thought you were upset when the boys came over so I told them not to hound you with their presence, I never meant for them to stop visiting at all," he explained.

you nodded and brought him in for a hug and a kiss.

"does this mean i can tell the guys to hold off of hurting him?" brad asked, making his way to the front door.

you turned and nodded at him. "yes and if I see anyone try something, I will fight them myself," you threatened.

brad nodded and took his phone out to send a text.

out the corner of your eye, you saw nico giving you a look that said 'what is he talking about?'.

but you ignored him and gave him one more kiss "thank you for your hospitality brad, but I think I'm gonna follow this guy back home," you thanked going over to give brad a hug.

brad marchand may be a rat on the ice but to you he's just uncle brad.

[luvmyoui]

six - out

previous masterlist next

gp!myoui mina x fem!reader

warnings: cursing

word count: 1,732

a/n: GUYS IM SORRY, I MEANT TO POST THIS EARLIER BUT I LOST TRACK OF TIME PLS FORGIVE ME😞😞

the constant buzzing of your phone roused you from your slumber, you tried to ignore it but the buzzing hadn’t gone away like it usually would. with a huff you sat up and received the call without checking the caller. 

“what?!” you said annoyance clear in your tone.

“check twitter, right now!” camila’s stressed out voice exclaimed from the other end of the phone. 

“okay, okay, gosh what terrible thing happen-” you fell silent when the twitter app loaded on and displayed a linked article stating a question along with a picture. 

SIXTH HARMONY’S Y/N L/N HAS A DAUGHTER? 

the article went on to explain how an anonymous source had sent a picture of the ‘happy birthday isla’ banner that hung behind you, you were squatted on the floor with isla’s cheek squished into yours. seeing the picture you immediately recognized it as one that was definitely taken the day before. you could only curse yourself for letting that man help bring that package into your home and forgetting to close the door. apparently there had been paparazzi waiting outside of your house and took pictures of the decorations while your door was open. 

“y/n? you good?” camila's worried voice pulled you out of your regretful thoughts. 

“y-yeah, just shocked. the thought of this happening never even crossed my mind.” you said, still in disbelief that this could’ve happened. 

“look at the comments though, we can go along with them and lie.” hearing this, with curiosity you scrolled down to see the replies to the tweet. 

REPLIES: 

sixtharmony4ever: why can't you people just mind your own business omg, leave my girls alone!!!

camilasolostan: wtf??? was y/n a teen mom?! iloveyn: so what if she was, its her life not yours.

laurenmll: why are you idiots acting like she can't have nieces😭😭 user872349: are you stupid, she doesn't have any siblings💀💀 laurenmll: are you? you're acting like she cant have any cousins☠️ laursss: girl lets be real, thats 100% y/ns kid camziezz: literally, cuzns arent twins💀💀

sixthharmonizerrr: these paparazzis seriously need to get a life and let celebs live theirs.

twice4lifee: guys why does that baby look exactly like mina😰😰minaluvzme: IM SAYINN once4ever: NEW SHIP???

minariii: *image attached* cannot tell me they are not the same person, literally give that kid a haircut and its mina.

lovey/nnn: why does the baby look like that one girl from that kpop group?!

harmonizeronce: does mina have a secret brother? twcmina: she literally said in multiple interviews she was an only child. harmonizeronce: thats why i said secret smartass.

seeing people defending you brought a smile to your face, you loved your fans. though you couldn't help the anxiety creep up your spine, what if they found out about mina. rather than worrying for yourself, you worried for mina, it might break her career if it's found out that she has a kid. you knew that the kpop industry was much less forgiving when it came to things like this. feeling another buzz in your hand caused you to look at the incoming call from your manager larry. 

“mila, larry’s calling so i’ll hang up now okay?” hearing a ‘kay’ from camila you hung up and accepted the call from your manager. 

“deny having a kid, say it was your cousins or something and that you hang out with her kid alot. I honestly don't care what you say, just make sure no one knows that it's your kid.” he said as soon as you had accepted the call

“and if i don't want to?” 

“that’s not an option.” he stated. 

“I'm not going to deny my kid, can I just stay quiet? i won't ever deny that isla’s my daughter, i'm not and never will be ashamed of her. sure i had her young but i don't regret it at all.” you responded with finality in your voice. maybe this was a stupid decision, but one parent had already left isla and you refused to disown her by saying she wasn't yours.  

letting out a sigh, knowing nothing he said would change your decision, your manager let out a fine and hung up the call. you let yourself fall back into your bed and just laid there hands and legs sprawled out. hearing the creak of your door opening made you lift your head a bit to see isla standing there. she ran over to your bed, when she reached it she proceeded to lift one of her legs up trying to get onto the bed. you smiled down at how cute she looked, stopping her struggles, you sat up and pulled her onto the bed next to you. with her small hands she pushed you down onto your back and jumped onto you, cuddling her face into your neck. 

“when will i get to see mommy, i only see hew in pictuws.” isla said into your neck, she was very clearly distressed, and you could only think of the day before when she had questioned mina’s want to even see her. 

you honestly didn't even think mina wanted to see her, sure she sent gifts but you doubt she’d want to see isla. she always thought of the child as a burden, as something that you were supposed to care for. the thought brought a frown to your face, you wished for mina to see isla and acknowledge her as a daughter. 

chaos had ensued in the twice dorms, although mina only shared a dorm with nayeon, all the girls were currently at the dorms. as soon as they had seen the tweet they rushed over, hoping that it wasn't as they thought. 

“so what, you just left her alone with a kid?!” jeongyeon exclaimed, clearly upset at the mere idea. 

“uh- well it wasn't like that, i wanted to pursue my dream and she was holding me back. also i send them money and gifts and pay for the apartment, i’m fulfilling my role as a parent.” hearing this, all of the girls continued their attack, throwing objects at mina. she tried to dodge but there were too many coming and too fast. 

“god i knew you were a douche judging by the amount of girls you bring home, but this is just unbelievable.” momo said, followed by a shoe being thrown at mina’s head. 

“you guys are unbelievable, i'm your member, not her. plus, are you forgetting the part where i literally send gifts, money, and pay the bills?! also she didn't want me to follow my dream!” mina exclaimed, why couldn't they understand her side?

“yeah, and are you forgetting the part where you got her pregnant. whatever she says doesn't matter, as the person who got her pregnant you should have taken responsibility.” jihyo voiced out, clearly annoyed by her excuses.

“I do take responsibility! how many times do i need to say that i give them money, i spoil them incredibly!” mina cried out in exasperation, how many times did she have to say it for them to understand?

the yelling and throwing of things was stopped the moment the door to the dorm opened, their manager walking in. “mina, there better be a good explanation for this.” their manager said, glaring at mina. 

“uhm- there really isn't one, it’s exactly how it seems.” 

“how do you even know y/n?!” their manager exclaimed, not being able to wrap her mind around this situation.

“we uh- we were high school sweethearts, we dated throughout almost the entirety of highschool.”

“what?!” everyone exclaimed, not knowing that they were in that serious of a relationship. 

“wait, so do you know any other celebrities?” chaeyoung asked in disbelief, she had been a fan of the group's music for a while and couldn't believe mina knew them.

“uh- yeah, shawn mendes, he was my best friend since middle school and camila, but she was y/n’s best friend. and i mean camila never really liked me.” 

“you knew shawn mendes?!” chaeyoung exclaimed, being best friends with shawn mendes was insane to her. 

“yeah, i still talk to him from time to time too.” mina said, scratching the back of her head as she explained. 

“mina, i hope you know that we will be going to the US for the billboard women in music awards. and sixth harmony will for sure be there.” their manager said to mina.

“what!?” mina exclaimed, the thought that she might run into you again was now starting to eat away at her. she didn't want to see you, but at the same time she wanted so desperately to. 

“oh yeah, i was gonna tell you.” jihyo said, everyone surprised that mina didn't know. 

everyone had left by now, and it was only mina, nayeon, and the two beer bottles on the coffee table in front of them. mina usually didn't drink, her intolerance for alcoholic drinks being the reason, but after today she just needed a drink. 

“what do you think? do you agree with everyone else, you think i'm an asshole?” mina asked, not offended but wanting a genuine answer.

“I mean what you did was very assholey, but i mean it’s never too late to change you know? i mean i’ve lived with you for like how long? three, four years? and i mean i think i know you best, and i can say with confidence you’ve had at least a little character development.” nayeon said, taking a swig of her beer. 

“but what do i do? I feel like what me and y/n had is broken by now. I don't think she’d even want me to meet isla.” mina said, she would never dare say her true thoughts. and i mean, could you blame her? 

all she knew about this kid was that she was 3 years old and that it was hers. she didn't even know what isla looked like until she saw the picture on twitter. she felt terrible for even thinking it, but she didn't really care all that much for this kid. you on the other hand, she had known you for a long time, she loved you, she had a kid with you. she didn't regret pursuing her dream but she wished it didn’t include losing you. 

“just talk to her, when we meet her. try to just talk it all out.” 

taglist: @moon-ellie @lisas-earlobe @cocojy @second-daughter-of-clexa @runassimp@eliii1sblog @yvsvrn send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

[theosconfessions]

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here:)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)

@ohsosims

river- hey...

blake- oh heyyy! hey

river- hi

blake- [smirks] hi.so.

river- so feels like i havent seen you in like a month.

blake- i know..i um. i was visiting my daughter. her birthday.

river-oh!

blake- yeah so i took a few weeks and went out there. i wouldve texted you but you said you needed some time so.

river- oh yeah. i mean i didnt text you either so .

blake- right.

river- how is nellie? and her..mom?

blake- [smirks] both good. lucy still hates my guts. thought that wouldve faded in time but at least we're TALKING? i guess. cant rely on my parents to go get my kid for forever you know. so its something.

river- yeah it is. i

blake- um i missed you though... a lot

river- you did?

blake- of course i did. i was kind of nervous to come back here though. see you again.

river- what why?

blake- for one because i didnt know how much what we did would fuck with you know..us. and two i was kinda nervous that you and isla would work it out while i was gone.

river- cant see that happening.

blake- oh..sorry man..i think.

river- [smirks] youre an asshole

blake- a little bit of one yeah . anyways not that im pressuring you and if youre not ready for what im going to ask you to do with me than okay cool

river- fuck you again?

blake- RIVER! is that all you see me as?

river- shut up

blake- [laughs] no i was going ot ask if you wanted ot maybe go to the movies with me later. i think your parents are personally escorting me to a clnic before that but after? im free. i mean ..if you want.

river- like a date?

blake- yeah i um. i hope so . but if youre not cool with that then we just go as friends.

river- no i mean...

blake- no?

river- yes. no i mean yes ill go with you

blake- jesus christ you scared me

river- sorry i dont know why youre making me all flustered and shit.

blake- scoffs.. all good..no you know how i feel when im around you all of the time

river- [smirks] hey im soryr my parents are being,,,

blake- no no i told htem i would. least i could do for being a fucking idiot.

river-so..a date.

blake- so a date

[quietlyimplode]

the language of flowers and silent things

Whumptober 2023: Day 12 - Red

Warnings: red room talk but nothing graphic

Word Count: 1.3k (gif not mine)

Summary: Yelena receives some help from unlikely sources. Natasha still has her back, despite what she may think.

A/N: (I forget how spoilt I was with no ads, if the anon who gifted them last month, thank you again.)

Masterlist

Whumptober Masterlist

.

2014

SINGAPORE

“Yelena, where are you?” Saffine shouts into the ear piece.

“Did you do it? Is she dead?”

“Yelena?” Irina asks, “where are you? Your tracker isn’t working. How did you do that?”

Panic suffocates Yelena.

They have safeguards against self harm. Poisons in their bodies that don’t allow them to harm themselves.

Saffine would know something has gone wrong.

Maybe they’d know it’s not her fault.

Choices.

A life with the Red Room, staying until she dies or becomes like Isla, training a new generation of widows and hating herself for it.

Natasha was right.

It’s not a choice.

Despite the connections she’s made in the Red Room and the responsibility she feels for others, she knows, running, escaping, it’s what’s best for her.

A choice like she’s never been given, the irony that it comes from Natasha is not lost on her.

She hates Natasha for it, and loves her all the same.

Looking at the bus schedule, Yelena chooses the one heading to Malaysia, she hears the panic on the line of the other two widows and she knows the punishment that awaits them when they get picked up and returned.

She drops the ear pieces into a teenagers bag, and then; she’s alone.

She knows she can’t think of that now.

People watching as she boards the bus, she calms herself, counting the people around her, and focusing on the time.

Five hours til she arrives and then can work out what to do from there.

Five hours to think about the decision she’s just made.

.

“Did you really expect her to be here?” Clint asks as they board the plane.

“Yes?”

Natasha’s answer is hopeful as she looks around again. The amount of people around them making it difficult to see faces and disguises.

Clint doesn’t follow her eyesight, instead looks at the bruising on her face, covered by make up but still visible. He’s not sure he wants to face Yelena right now. He feels so angry at the pain he knows Natasha is in.

“She’s not coming is she?”

Clint shakes his head, pulling their passports out and presenting them to flight attendant. He knows he needs to let it go.

“Would you have come with me?”

Natasha almost laughs.

“We both know I didn’t,” she replies.

“She needs time, Natasha.”

She frowns, feeling like she’s been told off.

“Why the full name?”

He shrugs, moving forward in line.

“For emphasis? I’m just saying; that she has no reason to trust you, even with everything that you’ve set up. You want an easy reunion but even you have to admit that when you were out of the clutches, it still took you time to trust me, and it was only because I could give you something you needed.”

He points to their seats and she passes him a bag.

“Give her time, yeah? She may not be ready, or she may have a different agenda to what you think she should.”

She sits and stares into the airport, searching again.

“Yeah,” she says softly.

.

2014

MALAYSIA

Yelena steps off the bus, and picks up a suitcase from underneath that isn’t hers, but likely is a womans. If anyone stops her she can play stupid.

They don’t though, and she makes her way to the tallest and biggest hotel in the city.

Kuala Lumpur is busier than she remembers when she was here last, but she was only twelve. Maybe under that light, it all felt different.

She checks in with a fake passport, a fake name, and stolen money, and requests a room furthest from the elevator.

“I’m such a light sleeper,” she grins to the lady, who nods and smiles back.

Easy, this is, manipulating people, Yelena thinks as the elevator takes her up.

She opens the suitcase in her room and luckily finds a range of tshirts and shorts to manage in.

Toiletries, medications, shoes that are probably too big, things she’ll need to reset.

Yelena sighs heavily.

She’s free.

She’s not sure why it feels so bad though.

She should be happy, light, pleased with her decision but instead all she feels is dread.

.

Red hair dye may have not been her best decision. She’s not sure how Natasha blended in so well with being so visible.

It’s strange, not having a mission, not being housed in a facility. The feeling of freedom after being under the rule of someone else feels terrifying.

Yelena doesn’t know what to do with herself.

Knowing they’ll be searching for her, knowing they’re coming, she just can’t seem to move forward, stuck in an awkward limbo of repeating the same day over and over.

She ends up at a small café, orders the same fruit drink and watches those around her.

She brings a book she took from the hotel and pretends to read it, instead taking the time to watch and learn how to be human.

She watches adults walk together, women with headphones walking by, men talking animatedly on the phone.

It’s the children she likes to watch the most.

The little girls who smile easily at their mothers, and the little boys that eat ice cream looking up at their fathers.

Yelena sorts through her feelings, knowing it’s jealousy that boils.

It doesn’t feel fair.

She pushes it down, turning it to anger.

That could have been her, it was her in Ohio.

“Good book?”

The approach of another startles her and even more so when she sees Isla.

Fear pulses through her.

If Isla was here, then so was the Red Room.

“Freedom is a tricky thing, isn’t it?”

She takes Yelena’s hand.

“She told me the tracker was disabled,”

There’s a even cadence of Yelena’s voice, even though she feels like throwing up in fear.

“Oh it is, but honey, you’re going to have to do better to run and hide if you want this to be a permanent thing.”

Yelena stares at Isla.

The Red Room poster girl; a terrifying individual, having cycled through at least twice, probably three times.

“I’m not the bad guy,” Isla smiles, wickedly, sipping her own drink and passing across a package.

“She’s given you an out, and I’m giving you a way to do it.”

“Natasha, she knew, she paid me to help, which is the only reason I’m doing this.”

Yelena opens the package.

Two passports peek out, and Australian one and an American one and a stack of US dollars.

Her heart catches.

“You’ll let me go?”

Isla shrugs.

“Is that what you want?”

Yelena feels her filter drop.

“How am I supposed to know? They said jump and I’d say how high. I don’t want to be theirs. I… this is not real. They made me like this, this shell, and now… now I don’t know; I want them to tell me what I should do, there’s too much grey— too much variability. When you take away the Red Room and what’s left? What’s left of… me?”

Yelena bites down hard on the inside of her cheeks, feeling the intensity of grief bubbling inside and the threat of tears come as she stares down at her drink.

“Sometimes we can’t leave, there’s too much damage. But you should, you might like who you find,” Isla tells her, in a moment of honesty.

“I tried once,” she whispers, more to herself.

She laughs out loud, a manic sound, breaking the introspection.

“If I catch you again, I’m taking you in, and they can do to you what they did to me.”

Yelena feels the insanity in the words.

“What am I supposed to do, now?”

Isla stands, hovers next to her and points out to the people around.

“Become one of them? Be like your sister? Or go the other way? Maybe you’ll like what you become when you don’t have someone pulling your puppet strings.”

She kisses Yelena’s forehead.

“She’s given you an out; I suggest you take it.”

As quickly as she comes, she goes, leaving Yelena with more questions than answers.

.

[pocket-lad]

CH 1- A Dying Man's Wish

Hey, we're back with a sequel! Join Adelaide and Ian in their adventure to Isla Sorna. All new characters and all new situations, but the same ol' g/t. Links to the prev story below.

Only a Couple Days: FIRST ; LAST

Adelaide woke up in a dark, soft, and confined space. A fast and rhythmic thumping pounded against the wall behind her. That’s what had woken her up. 

Curious and a little groggy from her unintentional nap, Adelaide started to pull herself to the top of Ian’s pocket. It was his heart that pounded behind her, but she wasn’t sure what he could possibly be nervous/excited/mad about. 

She had almost made it to the top when a gentle pressure pushed her into Ian’s chest, sending her back to the bottom. It was probably (hopefully) his hand, and he probably passed it off as an itch or something to the outside world, but this was his way of telling her not to come out. Just as quickly as the pressure appeared, it vanished. 

Instead of kicking him and stubbornly trying again, Adelaide decided to actually use her ears and figure out where they were before she moved. She chided herself for just assuming she was in the clear. 

There was a loud, ever-present clattering noise that she couldn’t identify, and the faint sound of people talking. Then, a much louder, much closer voice spoke. 

“You’re him, right?” 

Ian responded, and his voice reverberated throughout Adelaide’s body. It was louder than usual, as it often was when he spoke to other Beans. “Excuse me?” 

“The scientist? The guy? I saw you on TV.” 

Ian’s heart rate picked up even more, and Adelaide started to catch on. After they left the island, there was a ton of ‘legal drama’, though she didn’t understand much of it. What she did know was that someone or something powerful was mad at Ian because he spoke out about what happened. That earned him a lot of negative attention, and he frequently complained about it to her when he got home. 

Adelaide didn’t leave the house very often, so she never experienced this firsthand, but now, here they were. And he was right. It was annoying. 

Without a response from Ian, the guy kept pushing. “I believed you.” Again, Ian didn’t say anything. The guy then roared, imitating a dinosaur. 

Ian just shifted away, sending Adelaide to the other side of the pocket, but she didn’t even register the movement, too preoccupied with this guy’s audacity. She applauded Ian for his restraint because, if it were her, she would have already gone feral. Who did this guy think he was? What kind of asshole would act like that? Adelaide had to restrain herself from jumping out of the pocket and sticking him with her knife. The only thing holding her back was the fact that it sounded like more people were around. 

After that, the guy left them alone, but Adelaide stayed fuming for a long time, and she could not sit still. The pocket was cramped, and though it was cozy when she needed a nap, it was stifling when she was full of energy. 

Eventually, Ian stood up, and gravity forced Adelaide to the bottom of the pocket. As he started walking, she dared to peek her head out, but upon seeing a vast sea of people, ducked back down. Adelaide felt a little exhilarated. This was the longest trip she’d ever taken outside, excluding Jurassic Park, and the appeal of adventure was tantalizing. Sitting in Ian’s pocket, she was invincible, and she could go anywhere. 

Actually, not too long ago, Adelaide actively did not want to tag along when he went places, but on one particular day, Ian won her over, as he so often did.

*** 

“This sounds very familiar... Oh yeah, it sounds exactly like that time you begged me to come to Jurassic Park and we almost died,” Adelaide said. 

“Hey-” 

“No, I’m sorry. That was too far. I was joking. Not a good joke... I just don’t have any desire to see John Hammond ever again.” Adelaide had long since forgiven Ian for dragging her along. She never really blamed him in the first place. John Hammond, however...

“Neither do I, but he um, he insists. What am I supposed to do? Not honor a dying – a dying man’s wishes?” Ian protested. 

Adelaide stopped. “Woah, he’s dying?” 

“That’s what it sounded like.” 

She gave it some thought. The appeal of seeing new sights and feeling fresh air on her skin was strong, so half the battle was already won for him. And Ian was right – they couldn’t just ignore someone who was dying.

“Man...” Adelaide trailed off, unable to think of an argument she hadn’t used yet. 

“Please don’t make me do this by myself,” Ian complained. 

“Fine,” Adelaide conceded. “But no dinosaurs!” 

“No dinosaurs,” Ian agreed. 

*** 

Adelaide pounded her fists on Ian’s chest. 

He looked down, wondering what she was getting at, and checked around himself before he pinched the pocket open. “What?” 

“Is it clear? I’m dying,” Adelaide whined. 

Ian checked around again, just in case, then gave her the all clear. “Just be prepared to uh, duck back down. We’re almost – almost at the door.” 

Adelaide rushed to the top, hanging her arms dramatically over the edge of the pocket. Fresh air met her face, and she closed her eyes as she took a long, deep breath. This felt nice. 

The world around her was gorgeous. Lush green grass with all kinds of colorful flowers lined the walkway, which was impeccably clean itself. The sky was crystal clear, and an active, ornate fountain stood up ahead before a massive house. House? Castle? Adelaide didn’t know it was possible to have a house this big. Ian’s was big, but it was nothing compared to this. 

As they approached the door, Adelaide took one last breath, savoring the crisp fall air. Then, she retreated back into the pocket. Hammond knew about her, sure, but she didn’t know who else would be there and she didn’t want to chance anything. No way he lived in that big of a space by himself. That would just be greedy.

Ian checked to make sure Adelaide was in place before he rang the doorbell. 

They didn’t have to wait long before an old man hesitantly opened the door. “Who should I tell Mr. Hammond is calling?” he asked in a fancy accent. 

“Uh, Ian Malcolm,” Ian said. “I’ve been summoned.” He gave a light shrug. 

Adelaide hated not knowing what was going on. She trusted Ian completely, but she preferred to see where they were and who was around, just in case. The anticipation of literally anything happening was unbearable sometimes. 

As they entered the mansion, Adelaide heard faint music. It was almost immediately interrupted by a semi-familiar voice. 

“Dr. Malcolm!” 

Another familiar voice. “Hello, Dr. Malcolm!” 

Oh my god ! It was Lex and Tim! But like.... definitely older. They did all the “great to see you's” and such, and she felt them give Ian a hug. 

Adelaide was torn. Again, she didn’t know who was around, and she hadn’t seen these guys in forever. They were still kids, still dangerous, but they literally survived near-death experiences together. That had to count for something, right? 

“Is Adelaide with you?” Lex asked. It seemed Adelaide’s decision was made for her. 

“Oh yeah, she’s right here,” Ian said as he patted the pocket, knowing full well how much it would annoy Adelaide. 

“Dude!” Adelaide called after being repeatedly shoved into his chest. She was not amused, but it certainly sounded like the kids were, if their giggles were any indication. She guessed that meant she should come out and say hello. 

Adelaide stuck her head out, but almost fell back to the bottom of the pocket when she saw just how big they were. Lex was at eye level and Tim was fast approaching. 

“Hi,” Adelaide said after an awkward pause. “You got... tall.” What else should she say? 

“You didn’t,” Tim snickered. 

“Tim!” Lex chided, smacking him on the arm, but Adelaide laughed. 

“That was my bad. I uh… walked into that one,” she chuckled. The kids sobered up quickly and Adelaide noticed that they seemed.... stiff. 

“Is everything okay?” Ian asked, picking up on the tension in the air as well. 

“Well, not exactly,” Lex admitted. Not a second later, hordes of footsteps could be heard trampling down the stairs. Adelaide turned to look but was blocked by the wall that was Ian’s chest. Better safe than sorry. 

“That sounds like my cue.... Good to see you guys again,” Adelaide said. She wasn’t sure if that was true, but at the very least it was polite. She applauded herself on the normal social interaction as she ducked down just in time to hear someone call Ian.

“Here to share a few campfire stories with my uncle?” it said in a cold, pretentious, and accented voice. 

Ian’s heart rate picked up again. “You can convince the Washington Post and Skeptical Inquirer of what you want, but I was there. I know what happened and so do you,” he said. 

“Do you actually believe that everyone who chose discretion did so for a nefarious motive? Even Lex and Tim?” the man countered.

Oh. This felt different than the guy on the subway. This man sounded smart. He sounded like he was well aware of the situation and knew how to handle it. He sounded exactly like the guys Ian complained about. 

Adelaide felt herself get riled up all over again. She listened as they argued about stuff she already knew. Signing an agreement, misinforming the public, compensation for Ian's injuries (which he didn’t take, much to Adelaide’s protests), and the loss of his tenure. 

Her blood boiled as they continued to talk. Ian kept trying to defend himself, but it was a losing battle. She wished he would just punch the man square in the jaw instead. Ian wouldn’t win by talking – he was good at it, but it sounded like these guys were better. He could definitely win by brute force. Apparently Human Beans frowned upon that, though. 

Adelaide didn’t notice how much she was moving, frustrated that she couldn’t defend her friend, through words or fighting or otherwise, until Ian once again laid a hand over top of her. Entirely not in the mood, she kicked at it until it left. Maybe she should show herself. Maybe if the man saw her, she could use his momentary shock to attack. 

In fact, Adelaide almost did that when she heard him say, “Careful. This suit cost more than your education.”

Not long after, Ian pinched the pocket open as he approached Hammond’s room, annoyed. “Stop moving so much!” he said. His face took up the whole opening, making Adelaide feel like she was under a microscope. She had to remind herself that he wasn’t annoyed with her , it was just a shitty situation to be in and she probably wasn’t helping by wriggling around.

“I can’t help it! It’s cramped and I’m pissed off! He shouldn’t talk to you that way!” 

Ian laughed sadly. “That’s uh, just the way the world works.” 

“I need to move around,” Adelaide said. “I have too much energy and I might just channel it into stabbing that guy's eyeball.” 

“Okay,” Ian blinked. “That’s... maybe we need to take it down – take it down a skosh.” He knocked on a gorgeously carved wooden door, and a faint ‘come in’ was heard. 

Adelaide let out a frustrated noise as Ian opened the door. The appeal of adventure was wearing off by the second, and she regarded the pocket with distaste as she plopped down again . Maybe going outside was not her thing. There was enough adventure in the walls, anyway.

“You’re alright, it’s uh, just Hammond,” Ian said aloud. 

Adelaide didn’t like that he announced her presence, but Hammond probably already knew. Plus, she didn’t come all this way not to at least say hello. Tentatively, she peeked out. 

Ian stood near the doorway, and across the room, in a decorated wooden bed, lay John Hammond, looking worse than the last time they met. He was surrounded by medical equipment that Adelaide recognized from their week in the hospital after Jurassic Park. 

Adelaide didn’t even have time to wonder who was going to speak first, or what anyone was going to say. 

“You were right, and I was wrong. There! Did you ever expect to hear me say such a thing? Thank God for Site B.” Hammond spewed those words out as if he’d been rehearsing them. He was absolutely the same man, but his energy was a lot more subdued. 

Adelaide glanced up at Ian who was glancing down at her with the same confused expression.

“Site B?” Ian asked hesitantly, fearing an explanation would confirm what he thought might be true. 

“Isla Nublar was just a showroom, something for the tourists. Site B was the factory floor. That was on Isla Sorna, miles from Nublar. We bred the animals there and nurtured them for a few months, then moved them into the park,” Hammond elaborated. 

Ian slowly approached Hammond as he spoke. “Oh, really?” His tone was cautious, not wanting to give away exactly what he thought just yet.  

Adelaide didn’t know what she expected. At least a ‘hello’, right? Some form of introduction or ‘how are you doing’? But they just sort of jumped into business. At the end of the day, that’s what John Hammond was – a businessman – but the immediate gravity of the discussion was jarring. 

Hammond continued to explain that a storm wiped out the human facilities on that second island and the animals were somehow thriving, despite all the efforts to keep them from living without human involvement.

“How?” Adelaide blurted. 

Although his smile was warm, Hammond’s cold, blue eyes focused in on her for the first time since they arrived, and it made her uneasy. 

“That’s one of the thousand questions I want the team to answer,” he said. 

“Oh,” Adelaide muttered, dissatisfied. 

“Team?” Ian prompted calmly, also dissatisfied but knowing how to keep the conversation going. He still maintained his cool until he knew for sure what was happening and why exactly they were here. 

Hammond continued his explanation as he struggled to get up out of bed. Ian offered a hand, which Hammond took, but then he was off on his own to the other side of the room. Adelaide stayed frozen and tense the whole time. Ian followed. 

Apparently, Hammond gathered a team of people to study and document the dinosaurs. There were no fences on the island, but they’d stay away from the interior so as to avoid the ‘dangerous ones.’

As Hammond spoke, he addressed both Ian and Adelaide, so Adelaide had to pretend like she understood what he was talking about and nod along. When she couldn’t take it any longer, she climbed up to Ian’s shoulder, which was not easy when he wore his leather jacket. Even then, she dragged out the process to avoid engaging in the conversation. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not making the same mistakes again,” Hammond assured. Adelaide couldn’t help but snort at the absurdity. They sure sounded like the same mistakes. 

Maybe she should have been a bit more careful, but with the state Hammond was in, Adelaide doubted he posed any threat to her, especially up on Ian’s shoulder. So, she let herself laugh, but then almost immediately felt bad for thinking that. Jesus Christ, he’s dying. Be nice . 

Ian voiced her thoughts aloud. At least, the ones about ‘making mistakes.’ “No, you’re making – you're making all new ones. Who are the four lunatics you’re trying to con into this?” 

Oh no. Adelaide was fairly certain she knew why they were here now. Why else would Hammond invite them? 

“Ian-” Adelaide started to warn him, but Hammond interrupted. Her voice was quiet, so probably not intentionally, but it peeved her off nonetheless. 

“Nick Van Owen, a video documentarian.” Hammond handed Ian a stack of files as he spoke. “Eddie Carr, a field equipment expert. We have our paleontologist, and I was hoping you might be the fourth.” 

Unfortunately, Adelaide assumptions were correct. She also didn’t miss the way Hammond didn’t count her as a person. “Absolutely not,” she said immediately.

Hammond took Ian’s arm and Adelaide pressed herself against Ian’s neck, just in case, but he only used it to help him walk. 

Hammond tried for sympathy instead. Their company, InGen, was in legal trouble and there were some who wanted to exploit site B to bail them out. Apparently, a stupid rich family stopped on the island and their daughter obviously got hurt because it was full of dinosaurs, so that sped up the process. Essentially, Hammond no longer had control of the company. 

“Don’t care,” Adelaide shrugged. Hammond ignored her, turning his attention fully to Ian. 

“Public opinion is the one thing I can use to preserve the island, but to rally support, I need a complete photo record of those animals alive and in their natural habitats,” he said. 

“So, you went from capitalist to naturalist in just four years. That’s - that's something,” Ian mused, but Hammond pushed on. 

“It’s our last chance at redemption,” he pleaded. 

“Don’t. Care.” Adelaide repeated, actively hoping to draw his attention back to her, which was... new. She was getting bolder, and she didn’t care that Hammond was a giant. She wasn’t going back to any island, Ian wasn’t going back to any island, and neither of them were ever going to see dinosaurs ever again. There was no argument. And Hammond needed to know that. 

“Della,” Ian held up his hand, which meant ‘shut up’. Insulted, Adelaide was about to argue, but Ian continued, and it seemed like they were on the same page. Thank God. “John. No. Of course, uh, no. We’re not going. And I’m gonna contact the other three members of your team, and I’m gonna stop them, uh, from going. Who’s the paleontologist, by the way?” 

Ian turned to go grab the other file and Hammond suddenly got defensive. “She - she came to me. I want you to know this.” 

“Who did?” Ian asked. 

Once again, Adelaide was fairly certain she knew who Hammond was talking about. It wasn’t good. And Ian was going to be pissed. She wondered if she should break it to him, or if she should let Hammond do it, or if Ian would figure it out all on his own. None of the options seemed appealing. So, Adelaide braced herself. 

“Leave it to you, Ian, to have associations, affiliations, even liaisons, with the best people in so many fields.” Hammond intentionally avoided the question. 

That was all it took, though. Ian stopped moving completely, and Adelaide was worried he stopped breathing. “You didn’t contact Sarah,” he exhaled. It wasn’t a question, or even a statement, really. Ian was speaking that sentence into existence. Hammond could not have contacted Sarah because Ian said it was so.

Hammond defended himself and Sarah while Ian frantically searched for a phone. His breathing became shallow and quick, like he was on the verge of a panic attack. Adelaide desperately wanted to do something, to be of literally any help, but she didn’t have the faintest idea what to say or where to start. 

“Ian, breathe. I can feel you shaking. You need to calm down. You know Sarah. You know how smart and how capable and-” Adelaide could tell the words she whispered into his ear were not making it through to his brain, or if they were, he was ignoring them. 

“It’s too late,” Hammond said. “She’s already there.” 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Adelaide yelled. “You didn’t have raptors chase you through a kitchen. You didn’t have your leg obliterated by a T-Rex. Why the hell aren’t you there, then? If you think it’s so safe?” Though she already had a couple small outbursts, this one took Hammond by surprise. He blinked, not expecting something so forceful to come out of such a small creature. Adelaide even surprised herself. It was a little harsh, but she stood by it. 

Ian continued her train of thought as if they were the same person. “If you want to leave your name on something, fine. But stop putting it on other people’s headstones.” With that, Ian got up to leave. Their visit was over. 

Hammond ignored the point they were making by diverting the conversation back to Sarah. “Oh, she’ll be fine. And believe me, the research team will-” 

“It’s not a research expedition anymore,” Ian interrupted, stopping in his tracks to look Hammond in the eye. “It’s a rescue operation, and it’s leaving right now.” And then they were on their way out. 

Adelaide exhaled as she let her body slide into the pocket from Ian’s shoulder, but she felt nothing. She felt numb. This was it. They were going back to Jurassic Park. 

.

Next

[harveybwabbit92]

[Takes place after this, Belial, 80 and Riku are sitting the living room waiting for R/n to explain herself, this had been a long time coming that's for sure. Belial had suspected for while that R/n wasn't human and been patient with his wife hoping she'd open up to him eventually but that didn't seem to be in the cards until now...]

Riku: I just don't understand how Isla could have gotten her powers so early, Akari said her powers didn't fully show up until she was around 6.

Belial: That because Isla is a full blooded giant not a half-breed like the Zero brat's sister.

Riku: What?

*He looks at R/n who stares down at her lap.*

R/n: I don't know how to start this out.

80: Just do your best to explain.

R/n: Well, I guess it's no secret that I'm not what I appear to be- I think you figured it out over time or in Riku's case just this second...

Riku: You're not human?

R/n: No, I'm not....I need to get something.

[R/n gets out of her chair and goes into her office, she returned a few moment later with an old book, She opened it and places it on the table for them to see, It was photo of a picture stone from the viking age depicting a giant being fighting a dragon falling from the sky while tiny people cower from them.]

R/n: We were peaceful race that once lived together with humans, but as these things go our relationship soured and we were soon driven into hiding...

Belial: How the hell can mere humans force a race of giants into hiding?

R/n: Because that same race of giants were stupid enough to give some of those humans advanced weaponry to help combat threats. From a war hammer that controls lightning, to replacing a blind man's eyes with cybernetics so powerful they allowed him to see people half way across the land as though they were right next to him; we were naive... and we paid the price for it.

80: Wait, wait...A lighting hammer, a man with all seeing eyes? that sounds almost like...R/n, are you a jötunn?

R/n: Yes, but I've become quite used to the name frost giant, seems quite fitting considering...uh, ah!

[R/n grabs Riku's glass of juice off the table and stares at it, a few seconds later a layer of frost formed on the outside, R/n then used the reusable straw to pull the now Popsicle She handed it off to a stunned Riku.]

Riku: Is explains the snow thing...

80: And why your office is always so cold.

Belial: Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell me?

R/n: I was scared, okay?

80: Scared of what?

R/n: That...I- I thought if you knew what I was you were going tried to experiment on me or put in a zoo or something.

Riku: That's ridiculous, why would anyone-

R/n: Because I'm the last of my kind! The jötunn are gone I'm all that's left. and as soon as some rich prick alien figures it out; they'll do anything just have to have me. Especially when they figure out my lineage...

Belial: You're linage? What were your parents royals or something?

R/n: Humans have been known to call me Hel, though that was never my name to begin with.

Riku: Your father was Loki?!

R/n: Nods

Belial, still lost: Loki? Whose Loki? Was he important?

Riku: Loki was the god of mischief and was considered king of the frost giants. He had three kids with his mistress, a giant snake who circles the world, a wolf that never stops growing and a girl whose body was half rotting...

Belial: R/n doesn't look like she rotting away to me...

R/n: Yeah, those tales were very exaggerated...

[whatiwillsay]

Tea Time Anon

note: in this post i refer to tumblr user Spade-Riddles as "ttb" the whole time (her suspected old blog's nickname was ttb). wherever you see me say "ttb" i mean tumblr user Spade-Riddles.

alright, guys, i got the ok from the original tea time anon who found me and told me about how they tricked ttb into thinking they were an insider.

i'm sharing now because the damage she's done to queer people in this community is insurmountable and the idea that little baby kaylors are thinking about missing out on the show of a lifetime because they want to skip eras tour because they're sad about karlie having another baby with josh is just breaking my heart. ttb has been leading people to believe that kaylor is still together and saying her "insiders" have proved it to her and every time karlie does anything with josh all those people get upset. it's not fair for this woman to mislead people and ruin their taylor/gaylor experience by getting their hopes up that karlie and taylor are just around the corner from coming out when obviously that couldn't be further from the truth. i mean it's insanely obvious to me that karlie and taylor have long gone their separate ways and are no longer involved at all but i digress.

i held back on sharing this for a while because while ttb is kind of humorous to watch she IS dangerous and i just didn't want the heat from her. her (or her followers) have harassed, stalked, and outed multiple gaylors in retaliation for speaking out against her:

but i think it's time i get over that. i don't think they'll find my identity and even if they do whatever i'll be alright.

so long story short- someone reached out to me to tell me they were tea time anon and that they did it to see if they could get ttb to believe them as an insider source. i got the code they used to verify themselves to her and to prove to myself they weren't pulling my leg sent in a message about the coney island bridge because cara's birthday was coming up and the bridge says "happy birthday". i capitalized ISLA in the word because cara likes that name. it was a bit of a laugh but mostly i just had to send something to prove they weren't just pretending to be tea time anon.

here's some of our convo (make note of the dates):

so those are all from april 6th and as you can see here's the anon i sent in posing as tea time anon that was posted on april 7th:

and here's a message from the next day- tea time's reaction to it and me mentioning why i capitalized isla:

and at some point, one of us (idk who) went back and told them yes the baby is named isla:

so yeah... if you're reading this and you've ever thought ttb had legitimate info from her myriad of insiders from Spade to Tea Time Anon to that flag person who's sending in stuff these days now you know... she just doesn't. it's people making stuff up or fanfic-ing or trolling.

let me just say i do think all of this is childish and i don't encourage this kind of thing but sometimes childish stuff is gonna go down in fandom spaces. it's just the name of the game. i've had my childish moments and i'm not exactly proud of that, but ttb misleads and harms so many innocent people, especially so many innocent young queer people it's time someone shined the light on just how misinformed she is and provided hard proof that yes coincidences happen. just because a fake insider mentions "isla" and taylor wore isla boots or an isla ring 3 years before that doesn't mean they are legit.

i encourage everyone reading this to try and learn how to enjoy gaylor without plummeting into complete conspiracy theories. there are a lot of healthier and more realistic ways to appreciate taylor's music from a queer perspective than what they get up to over on spade-riddles.

and another reminder that ttb is dangerous. she (or her minions) harasses and outs people who disagree with her. if you're a fan of hers, please be careful. never share your identity or personal details about your life with her or her henchmen.

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE IF YOU HAVE ERAS TOUR TICKETS GO AND ENJOY IT DO NOT SKIP THE SHOW OF A LIFETIME JUST BECAUSE KARLIE KLOSS IS OUT HERE LIVING HER BEST LIFE! YOU WILL FOREVER REGRET NOT GOING.

[dharmatica]

Las 12 Venus como canciones de Madonna

Madonna, the Rightful Queen of Pop, en su enorme versatilidad, nos trae una serie de canciones que se vinculan muy bien con lo que significa Venus y el deseo. Venus desea y trata de satisfacer sus anhelos a través de otros. Por eso, esta selección de su enorme repertorio, me parece, encarna bastante bien el espíritu de este planeta en su travesía por los doce signos del zodíaco

Venus en Aries: Jump ---> el deseo de independencia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx0mYN32Kps

"I haven't got much time to waste, it's time to make my way

I'm not afraid of what I'll face, but I'm afraid to stay

I'm going down my own road and I can make it alone"

Venus en Tauro: La Isla Bonita ---> el deseo de conectar con la materia y los sentidos físicos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpzdgmqIHOQ

" Tropical the island breeze All of nature, wild and free This is where I long to be La isla bonita "

Venus en Géminis: Hung Up ---> el deseo de conectar con la novedad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDwb9jOVRtU

"Time goes by so slowly for those who wait

No time to hesitate

Those who run seem to have all the fun

I'm caught up, I don't know what to do"

Venus en Cáncer: Love Profusion ---> el deseo de conectar con lo que nos hace bien

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgDFGubdxXk

"And I know I can feel bad

When I get in a bad mood

And the world can look so sad

Only you make me feel good"

Venus en Leo: Vogue ---> el deseo de conectar con el brillo propio

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuJQSAiODqI

"When all else fails and you long to be

Something better than you are today

I know a place where you can get away

It's called a dance floor, and here's what it's for, so

Come on, Vogue"

Venus en Virgo: Like a Virgin ---> el deseo de conectar con la virtud

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s__rX_WL100

" I was beat, incomplete

I'd been had, I was sad and blue

But you made me feel

Yeah, you made me feel shiny and new"

Venus en Libra: Love Profusion ---> el deseo de conectar con otra persona

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgDFGubdxXk

"And I know I can feel bad

When I get in a bad mood

And the world can look so sad

Only you make me feel good"

Venus en Escorpio: Girl Gone Wild ---> el deseo de conectar con lo prohibido

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYkwziTrv5o

"It's so hypnotic

The way he pulls on me it's like the force of gravity right under my feet

It's so erotic

This feeling can't be beat, it's cursing through my whole body, feel the heat"

Venus en Sagitario: Sorry ---> el deseo de conectar con la verdad interior

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5OPMI13qng

"You're not half the man you think you are

Save your words because you've gone too far

I've listened to your lies and all your stories

You're not half the man you'd like to be"

Venus en Capricornio: Give It 2 Me ---> el deseo de conectar con el éxito y el triunfo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQRLSBUNupg

"Give me the bass line, and I'll shake it

Give me a record, and I'll break it

There's no beginning and no ending

Give me a chance to go and I'll take it"

Venus en Acuario: Nothing Really Matters ---> el deseo de conectar con la humanidad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAVx9RKaLPU

“Nothing really matters Love is all we need Everything I give you All comes back to me”

Venus en Piscis: Like a Prayer ---> el deseo de conectar con la paz interior

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79fzeNUqQbQ

"Life is a mystery

Everyone must stand alone

I hear you call my name

And it feels like... home"

[female-buckets]

What was the relationship timeline of Diana and Penny and their story 🥺

It's a very long story

Diana and Penny met in 2004. They were both brand-new to the Mercury. Diana was a rookie. And Penny's previous WNBA franchise, the Cleveland Rockers, totally collapsed on her. So the winds of fate put them both in that 2004 Mercury training camp together. And they became friends immediately.

Then they fell in love and lived happily ever after. Just kidding! It's not that simple.

When Diana and Penny met, Penny was engaged to Brazilian volleyball player Rodrigo Gil. Diana and Penny could only be friends. So Diana fell for Penny's Australian national teammate Lauren Jackson.

Penny married Rodrigo. And Diana and Lauren had their Moscow life together. But in Phoenix, Diana and Penny worked towards their shared professional goals. They both wanted to transform the Mercury from a losing culture into a winning culture. And they did it! But after they won their first championship together in 2007, Penny needed a break. She wanted to rest before the 2008 Olympics and work on her marriage. They had only been married a few years but I guess their marriage already needed work.

In 2008, without Penny, the Mercury were completely dysfunctional. And Diana was lonely. So she asked Lauren Jackson to join the Mercury and come play with her in 2009. Diana and Lauren were attached at the hip in Moscow. It really seemed like Lauren would leave the Storm. Sue Bird even spoke to the media about that possibility. But at the very last minute, Lauren backed out and stayed in Seattle.

So at the beginning of the 2009 season, the Mercury had no Penny and no Lauren. Just Diana, Cappie, and vibes. Too much vibes. Wayyy too much vibes. And that's how Diana got a DUI. She hit rock bottom. And when she hit rock bottom, Penny dropped everything, flew from Australia to Phoenix, and rejoined the Mercury mid-season. Lauren wouldn't uproot her life in Seattle to play with Diana. But Penny would uproot her life in Australia to play with her. Penny helped Diana through that season and drove her everywhere she needed to be. They spent a lot of time together. And, oh yeah, Diana won an MVP, championship, and finals MVP. It was the best season of basketball in her entire career.

By the end of that 2009 season, Diana and Penny had definitely gone from friends to lovers. Maybe Diana and Lauren's relationship had run its course by then. But Penny was definitely still married when she got with Diana. Oops. Messy. Oh well. They fell in love, got a dog, bought a house together and lived happily ever after.

Actually, from 2009-2014 they went through constant traumatic ordeals in their personal and professional lives. Shabtai's murder, Cappie leaving Phoenix, nasty feud with Lauren, false-positive doping scandal that almost banned Diana from basketball, Penny tearing her ACL, both of Penny's parents dying of cancer. It was a lot. But they still managed to win their third championship together in 2014.

In 2015, they took the WNBA season off together. In 2016, they got engaged. And in 2017, they got married. Penny gave birth to Leo in 2018 and Isla in 2021. And now they have a loving family life together and it's very cute 🥺

[zahroreadsthings]

Stitch and bitch...

Question: What will you do tonight?

Response: Join the stitch and bitch.

Check notes for previous instalments

You know you and Deema just had a conversation about the importance of making the most of your time with witches but the siren call of the stitch and bitch is too strong to resist.

Reginald's new jacket is something you'd prefer to chip at alone - but a pair of mittens matching your cowl is just the thing to start, and you know you'll have the materials handy.

The cottage door swings open under your hands to reveal Deema, as usual, by the fire.

'Hey, Deema,' you say. You hold your open notebook up. 'I made a list of things to go to.'

She nods in satisfaction but doesn't spare a glance for the notebook.

'I'm going to leave Reginald here -' You feel a jerk in your jacket. 'Reginald, it'll be warmer here.' He settles down.

'And I'm gonna go back out.' You pick up a pair of needles and yarn.

Deema moves Reginald closer to the fire and waves you off.

--

The stitch and bitch is hosted in a community centre adjacent to the library. You can hear voices and see light spilling from under the door already. Hopefully it's not too late to join in.

You scan the room, hoping against hope for a familiar face, and find two. Isla sees you the same time you see them and shuffles their chair to the right to make room for you. You ignore Zulfiya, who's concentrating wholly on whatever she's crocheting. You're suddenly grateful Reginald's at home.

Isla leans towards you while you cast on. 'It's been a minute, hasn't it? How have you been?' they whisper.

'Same-same. Picking up new tricks, having fun, and all that. Mentor's doing... or hopefully will be doing better. Cautiously optimistic.'

'Oh, good to hear. We've been seeing more of each other since we had dinner.'

Cool. You didn't know that.

'And did you know there's another witch here - what are the odds? Have you met Zulfiya?'

Zulfiya looks up with a start when she hears her name. 'Come on,' she sighs when she sees you, and returns her attention to her work.

'Yeah, a couple of times.' You can keep it civil.

'Couple times too many.'

'Putting the bitch in stitch and bitch,' someone across from you says with a giggle.

Isla evidently decides following up will be more trouble than it's worth. 'And how is the net coming along, dear?'

Zulfiya sighs. 'I think I counted wrong on the last row.'

'Just fudge the numbers on this row,' the person to your left says without looking up, 'and nobody needs to know.'

More calm than you've heard her before, she says, 'Wish my other ones weren't so burned out.'

You wonder if she's ever gone more than fifteen minutes without complaining.

'Oh - Isla - I was thinking of making another jacket for the bird I bought from you, and -'

Isla interrupts. 'I heard he already has one! How delightful. Is there a problem with it? I can make another one for him.'

You hear a scoff. Your skin prickles but you don't respond.