#and then twice to my brother’s college to get him which is like a five hour round trip

[woundedheartwithin]

My mom’s patient care tech yesterday straight up could not believe I was 32. He asked me, “so how old are you, Caitlin” and he asked it like he thought he was talking to someone younger than him. And I looked at him like oh baby, no, you are the youngest person in this room rn and said “I am 32.” And he just stared at me and kept repeating it, then turned to my mom, who is high as hell on fentanyl, like “32?” And my mom giggled and said yeah, so he turned to my dad cuz clearly her loopy ass can’t be trusted, and my dad’s like yeah she’s 32. So he looked at me again and was like I never would have guessed you’re 32, you don’t look it at all. And I’m like yeah I get that a lot, how old are you? And he goes “…I’m 24” lmfao

[luckybyler]

It’s PAINFULLY OBVIOUS that Stranger Things was meant to be three seasons long: season 1, 2, and a previous version of what we will now know as season 5.

I’m not saying that seasons 3 and 4 are bad, they’re great. But they very much feel like a detour from the original plan.

We know the show was meant to last more than 1 season because Noah auditioned for Will by reading the “crazy together” scene from season 2. We know it was meant to last more than two seasons because in the original script of the snowball dance they had Will looking longingly at Mike, which implies there was still stuff to be explored (we may be able to find clues in other, monster-related plots). However, they removed Will’s look towards Mike and added an unscripted Mileven kiss. This was a deliberate choice to stretch these storylines further instead of being resolved in the third, originally final season. They also came up with that horrid hidden spin-off pilot that was episode 7.

Seasons 3 and 4 feel like a forced detour from the original plan: the whole dealing with a lot of summer tween/early teenager angst, “killing” Hopper then immediately showing us that he’s not dead, retrofitting Vecna into the story, which meant giving El the soap opera-esque “stroke” as a justification for why she could barely talk when there were other kids there; “killing” Brenner then bringing him back *again* just to kill him *again*, making El lose her powers for a minute yet get them back *again*. Making the Byers move to California just to bring them back *again*, having El learning about fashion just to regress *again*, breaking up Mileven twice just to get them back together *again*. And made Byler fall out then reconnect *again*, then Will look at Mike longingly while he gave his speech to El, a heightened version of what was supposed to happen at the Snowball dance. They even rehashed Steve’s feelings for Nancy *again*.

Trim the fat from Seasons 3 and 4, and all the main characters are in a place where they would have been a couple of episodes or maybe halfway into a hypothetical 3rd and final season: Jopper are together; Jancy are together but have the college thing to talk about, Mileven are together but there’s doubt that Mike loves her, Byler are full of romantic tension but getting interrupted, Max has just been attacked and is the one in a coma this time while Lucas suffers, Dustin just experienced the loss of a big brother figure (clearly a placeholder for Steve), Hawkins is destroyed by the Upside Down, etc.

My theory is that the Duffers were working on Season 2 when Netflix addressed Stranger Things’ sudden massive popularity, sat them down, asked them to make it five season instead at least, and they said “fine”, so they tweaked the middle in order to get back to (more of less) their original idea for the ending.

[br1ghtestlight]

for @jimmyjrsmusoems birthday here's like all my notes and everything i wrote for a tinimmy fanfic where tina was a single mom and jimmy jr moved back to seymour's bay. never gonna finish this but the heart is there lol

tina is 22 and has a 4 year old daughter named alice (named after bob's grandmother) her high school boyfriend got her pregnant and then took off. she lives with bob and linda and works at the restaurant (for actual money) and alice sleeps in louise's old bedroom bcuz she moved out. previously stayed with tina in her bedroom

gene is 20 and lives with bob and linda and he's an indie musician who posts stuff online and has a bit of a following. he also does gigs at random pubs and nightclubs around new jersey but music is basically his career (he still helps out around the restaurant of course)

louise is 18 and moved out into an apartment with rudy bcuz they both wanted a taste of adult life and independence but they honestly only live like three blocks away and she comes over for dinner most nights

jimmy jr is 22 and just came home from college after graduating with a kinda useless degree in dance and he's kinda aimless in life. he moved back in with his dad and works at his restaurant again (he moved out of seymours bay in 11th grade when his mom moved out of state and he went with her bcuz his dad really wasn't interested in having teenage sons and he wasn't supporting jimmy jr's dance career. andy and ollie still live with their mom)

Jimmy Junior was standing impatiently in line at Patterson Farms with a single carton of milk that his father had asked him to pick up.

He'd been waiting for the past five minutes and he'd still barely moved forward, because apparently every single customer except for him was choosing today to buy a month's worth of groceries. He really should have gone to the self-checkout and saved himself the frustration.

There was only one person standing in front of him while the cashier rang up their shopping cart full of groceries. Jimmy Junior couldn't see her face, but she had shoulder-length black hair and big glasses that reminded him of Tina Belcher, his first and only girlfriend from back when he was in middle school. She was holding hands with a toddler who couldn't have been older than three or four, who was wearing a tu-tu and rainbow leggings and had a shirt that was clearly stained with grape juice.

He wasn't angry at this woman for buying her groceries or for bringing her toddler to the store which probably caused everything to take twice as long. He was just annoyed with the dysfunctional layout of this grocery store in general. Why did they decide they only needed two functioning checkout lines at any given moment? They were the biggest grocery store in Seymour's Bay!

Jimmy Junior had only moved back to Seymour's Bay after graduating college a few weeks ago, but he was already beginning to remember why he left.

Not to mention his father constantly asking him when he was going to move out and find himself a job, as if he wasn't already helping out by working at Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria five days a week. He really needed to figure out where he was going in life so he could get the hell out of this town, or at least his father's crappy apartment.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. You're still $24.95 short for this purchase," the cashier told the woman in front of Jimmy Junior without any actual sympathy or concern in her voice. She was probably counting down the hours until she could clock out and leave this overcrowded grocery store, and Jimmy Junior couldn't blame her.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I'll just—uh, I guess we don't need cereal for a few more days," the woman in front of Jimmy Junior said anxiously as she began putting items back into her shopping cart.

Jimmy Junior immediately knew where he recognized that voice from. It was Tina Belcher. He hadn't talked to her very often since he moved away from Seymour's Bay with his mother and younger brother when they were in eleventh grade and they fell out of contact, but he'd been friends with her since kindergarten and it was impossible not to recognize her distinctive monotone voice, and those eyes that he'd spent so many years desperately trying not to look into out of fear of the disappointment he would bring.

Their relationship had grown apart over the years even before Jimmy Junior had moved away and they certainly weren't as close as they'd been as children, but he could still remember how hard Tina had started sobbing when he broke the news to her that he would be moving away and that they wouldn't be going to school together anymore. He understood how she was feeling because he was equally as heartbroken even when he didn't really have a choice. Jimmy Junior had always assumed that Tina and him would spend the rest of their lives together. They would always know each other and have that childhood proximity.

He didn't know why she was going grocery shopping with a toddler or why she was unable to afford groceries, but he did know that he cared about her and he wasn't going to let his oldest friend be humiliated like this.

Jimmy Junior stepped forward and pulled out his wallet. "Don't worry about putting anything back, Tina. I've got this."

"Jimmy Junior?"

Tina turned around to look at him with amazement in her eyes, as if he'd just performed an actual miracle by offering to pay for her groceries. He could afford it. His father wasn't actually asking him to pay rent while he stayed in his childhood bedroom, and he was getting paid for working at Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria. His only living expenses were paying off his student loans for when he'd gone to college and gotten a degree in dance, but fortunately his payments weren't higher than he could afford. Even if he wasn't really able to afford it, he wouldn't have let Tina go hungry or stand there in embarrassment while the cashier watched.

Jimmy Junior shrugged and walked toward the cashier so that he could pay for everything Tina couldn't afford, and the milk his father had requested. Tina took a step back and gently guided the little girl she was taking care of out of the way. Once he had paid for everything Jimmy Junior offered to help bag Tina's groceries and she quickly agreed.

Tina smiled at Jimmy Junior as he began quickly and expertly loading everything she'd bought into grocery bags. After he moved away from Seymour's Bay he had found a job working at a grocery store while he was going to college, and he would say he'd gotten pretty good at loading up groceries quicker than the average person.

"Why are you back in Seymour's Bay? I thought you moved to Georgia with Andy and Ollie?" Tina asked. She started trying to help Jimmy Junior load her groceries into the bags, but stopped when she realized that he clearly had more experience and she was slowing him down rather than helping with anything.

Jimmy Junior glanced in her direction. "I graduated from college a few months ago, and I thought it would be a good plan to move back in with my dad and catch up with friends I haven't seen since I moved while I figured out what I'm going to do with my life. You know, typical young adult stuff."

Tina nodded. "I—I mean, I never went to college. I took a few English courses at the community college in Bog Harbour, but when Alice got older it was just too difficult to keep up with schoolwork and take care of her at the same time. I still work at my parents' restaurant, though. They're getting older and they need all the help that they can get."

"Who is Alice?" Jimmy Junior asked Tina with a questioning look. He wasn't sure if Tina had adopted a dog, or if her parents decided to have another child after Jimmy Junior moved away and he'd never heard about it. He thought they were a little too old for that, but he wasn't going to judge them. His parents might have chosen to have another child too if they hadn't gotten divorced.

Tina gestured to the toddler who was standing beside her and carefully studying the assortment of candy and chocolate in the aisle.

"Did your parents have another daughter?"

Tina actually laughed after Jimmy Junior asked this before she explained herself. "Oh my God, no. They're way too old to have another kid. Alice is my daughter! Alice, sweetheart, do you want to say hello to Jimmy Junior?"

Alice looked up at him with an unimpressed expression on her face. "Hi."

Jimmy Junior took a step back in disbelief. He'd never even considered that he and his childhood friends were at the age where it wouldn't be unreasonable to start a family and have children of their own, especially because that was not something he planned for himself. His parents' had been around his age when they first got pregnant with him. When he took a closer look at Alice, he could clearly see the resemblance between her and Tina, although he honestly thought he looked more similar to Louise. She had curly black hair and a nose that looked almost identical to Tina's. It was kind of unnerving.

"Oh," Jimmy Junior finally said after a few seconds of silence. "You have a daughter?"

Tina was clearly confused by how Jimmy Junior was reacting to the concept of her having a child, but he just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that this woman he'd known since they were children themselves had a child of her own. None of his friends from college or anybody that he'd known in Seymour's Bay had children, so Tina was his first experience with this.

"I mean, uh, that's great. I'm happy for you, Tina," Jimmy Junior started awkwardly. "Who's her father? Or, uh, mother… I don't want to assume anything."

Tina began picking up bags of groceries to bring to the car with both her hands, and Jimmy Junior helped her by grabbing a few and walking to the car with her. Tina handed a very small bag of fruits to Alice so that she would feel like she was helping too and that she wasn't being forgotten or excluded. If Alice was anything like Tina or her siblings when they were children, that was probably a good idea.

"You don't know him," Tina said to Jimmy Junior as they walked to her car together. Jimmy Junior had chosen to walk to Patterson Farms because it was a beautiful summer day outside and he didn't have any other plans, so fortunately he didn't need to worry about unloading anything in his own car. "We started dating in high school after you moved away. His name was Nathan, but he isn't really in my life anymore. He broke up with me after I told him I was pregnant and started avoiding me, so his name isn't even on Alice's birth certificate."

"Crap. I'm really sorry, Tina," Jimmy Junior said apologetically. Tina opened up the trunk of her car—which was actually her family's car that was the same one they'd had since she was a child, he was assuming she borrowed it for this trip—and began loading groceries into it. "I had no idea. He's an asshole for doing that to you."

Tina smiled like she was completely unbothered by the fact that her daughter's father had completely abandoned them and left Tina to raise her by herself as she struggled financially. Jimmy Junior's father was far from a good parent, but he could at least be thankful that he'd never once considered abandoning his children and he even took Jimmy Junior back in after years of separation between them. He was sure he would do the same for Andy and Ollie if they asked. "Don't worry, it's okay. It wasn't all bad, either. I always have my family to help me with anything I need, and Jocelyn and Tammy were actually really cool when I told them I was pregnant. They held a baby shower for me, and Tammy offered to babysit Alice for no charge. I didn't accept her offer, obviously, because she's Tammy… but I could tell she was trying to be helpful and make an effort. They've grown up a lot since we were in middle school."

Jimmy Junior slammed the trunk of her car shut before he turned back to her. "That's good to hear. How has your family been, by the way? Is Gene still working on his music career?"

"They're doing great," Tina said. She grabbed Alice's hand to keep her from wandering off into the dangerous parking lot. "My parents' restaurant has had good business for the past few years, and Louise actually just moved out on her own a couple months ago. She's sharing an apartment with Regular-Sized Rudy because they both decided they wanted to get a taste of adult life without moving too far away from home. She still comes over for dinner a few nights a week. Gene has been working on building a following online for his music, so he's been posting video tutorials on how to set up certain instruments and tune them, and he still plays local clubs sometimes. He's been trying to learn to play guitar. Alice has been OBSESSED with him. Sometimes I think she likes Gene more than she likes me. She wants to be exactly like her Uncle Gene. Isn't that right, Alice?"

Tina looked down at Alice and affectionately ruffled her hair. She seemed to finally be paying attention to their conversation now that Gene was mentioned. Before that, she seemed to be more interested in analyzing all the different colors of cars in the parking lot and counting them out on her fingers. "Yeah! Uncle Gene said I can come along with him when he's playin' at a club this weekend. He's going to teach me to play his old keyboard, and someday I'm gonn' perform with him!"

Tina shrugged and gave Jimmy Junior an uncertain smile. "I mean, she can't be any worse than Gene was at her age, right? He got a new keyboard for his birthday a few years ago, so he doesn't really use his Casio anymore, but he couldn't bear to get rid of it. Too many memories."

Jimmy Junior nodded. "Yeah. He's been playing that thing since I can remember. I don't blame him for wanting to keep it. Are you still living with your parents above the restaurant?"

"Yup, I'm still living with them. I couldn't afford to move out with the salary they're paying me to work there, and they help out with groceries and childcare. I think Alice likes spending so much time with her family, too. And since Louise moved out a few months ago, Alice got to move into her bedroom and she doesn't have to share a bedroom with me anymore. She's… probably old enough to sleep up on the loft bed without breaking her neck going down the stairs, right?"

"Tina, I don't know how old she is!" Jimmy Junior laughed.

"Oh, right. She turned four this year," Tina said sheepishly. "I feel like I've introduced her to everybody by now, but I guess we haven't talked very much in the past few years. Life caught up with me."

[sjsmith56]

Brother - Chapter 1, Eyes of the Father

Summary: Taking place after the events at the destruction of the helicarriers a young woman writer finds an injured man in her garage and decides to help him.

Length: 4.7 K

Characters: Named female OFC (described physically but she doesn’t consider herself pretty), named OMC - her brother who’s in trouble, named OMC - FBI agent, recurring character, Bucky Barnes (beefy, long hair).

Warning: Mourning for dead relatives, mistrust of FBI agent, OFC struggling financially. Reference to drug use.

Author notes: There is a long time arc with this story, with some jumps forward being made. Updates will be twice a week.

🏡 🔨 📚

Late 2014.

The sweat kept dripping into Lacey's eyes and she kept using her gloved hand to brush it off. Finally she had enough and she went into the small house, found a large rag and tied it over her forehead, smoothing her blond hair under the edge. She poured herself a large glass of water and stood over the sink, drinking the water down. Then she went back outside and continued to sand the old paint off of the window trim. She noticed some of the caulking coming off and she added replacing that to her list of things to fix on the old house that her grandfather had left her. The list, which had grown considerably from the day she took possession, had already overwhelmed her meagre savings and unless she sold another article was perilously close to being insurmountable. Still, she had inherited the Williams stubborn streak and remained convinced that she could turn this ramshackle abode into someplace she could live and write in peace. Her concentration was broken by the sound of a cough and she looked up to see her older brother, Tom, watching her.

"I heard that Grandpa left it to you," he said, as he stepped up onto the porch and ran his hand over the railing. She hadn't even heard his car when he drove into the yard. "What memories I have of this place. I liked him too, you know. He didn't leave me anything."

"You hadn't seen him in over five years," replied Lacey. "None of you had really. I was here every chance I could get, and I lived with him for a year while he was dying. Someone had to take care of him because he wouldn't go into a hospice."

"I'm not disputing that you don't deserve this," stated her brother. "I just wish you had reached out to me at least. I didn't know he was dying and I would have made an effort to help."

Lacey nodded. "What have you been up to?" she asked. "By the clothes and your car it would appear you're doing well."

He shrugged. "Being a stockbroker comes with financial rewards but it's a killer career," he admitted. "It's not what I planned to do with my life but I'm good at it so ...."

Lacey stopped and put the sander down. "Why are you really here, Tom?" she queried. "I'm pretty busy trying to fix everything Grandpa couldn't fix while he was sick."

"Let me help," he said. "No strings attached. You must have run out of money already and I know that the taxes are probably due soon. I have the money and if you let me I'll help with the work. It might help me begin to like myself again."

She looked at him. Out of her three siblings he was closest in age to her and they had got along for the most part. He bought her alcohol when she was underage, had been with her the first time she smoked pot, showing her how to roll the joint and properly inhale the smoke. They had drifted apart when he went to college and fell in with a rich crowd of friends. Looking closer at him she saw the lines in his forehead and the dark circles under his eyes.

"What's going on?" she asked, coming closer. "You don't look well."

He took a breath and looked around, trying to decide what to say. "I fucked up," he whispered. "I got involved with a shady deal and I'm terrified that if I'm not arrested someone is going to come looking for me and hurt me or worse. I need a place to hide out while I figure out what to do and you're the only one I trust. Please, help me."

Leaning against the railing his whole body deflated as if he had been keeping this terrible secret for so long it had overwhelmed him. Lacey looked at Tom, and noticed his hand shook as he lit a cigarette.

"We should put your car in the garage then," she said. "It's a dead giveaway ... sorry for the words."

He smiled grimly then hugged her desperately. "Thank you," he whispered. "I didn't know who else to turn to. Mom would have freaked out. Nancy is caught up in her divorce and Terry is ... well he's always been an asshole, hasn't he?"

A bitter laugh escaped Lacey's lips at the mention of their oldest brother Terry, who was an asshole. Blessed with exceptional athletic ability he had been drafted by the New York Giants and had forged a successful career as a wide receiver. He had also surrounded himself with a circle of like-minded friends who lived to hit the stripper bars and date starlets. Everything in his life was about him and keeping the gravy train going.

While Lacey opened the doors of the ancient garage Tom backed his car in, got his bag out, and together they closed the doors, locking them with a padlock. Her brother followed her into their Grandpa's house and she left him in the small, spare bedroom. In his condition she didn't think he could sleep in their grandfather's bedroom where he had breathed his last breaths but she had no qualms about it, having been with him at the end. She returned to the porch to continue sanding and was joined by her brother ten minutes later. He had changed into blue jeans and a T-shirt. Handing him a hammer and nails she asked him to nail down any loose boards on the porch. He smiled and got to it right away. They worked together without comment until they heard the sound of thunder and put the tools away just before it started to rain.

While Tom washed up Lacey fried up some burgers for them in the cast iron pan that she placed over the gas burner. She sliced some tomatoes and onions, broke apart some lettuce leaves and put the condiments on the table. Then she pulled out a couple of cold beers. Tom opened them and took a long drink from his bottle. They both made up their burgers and took a good sized bite, saying nothing except making contented noises as they chewed. Lacey finished chewing her second bite and looked at her brother.

"Who would want to hurt you?" she asked.

"The Russian mob," he said reluctantly. "I didn't know the deal was money laundering. It was one of my colleagues that asked me to set it up. When I found out I panicked. I took off and drove here."

"It's not like you stole their money, is it?" she looked him directly in the eyes.

He didn't make eye contact at first. "I put it into a secret account," he replied finally. "In case I decided to go to the police with it. I wanted proof of the money trail and I don't have that. So I'm screwed either way."

"Fuck," muttered Lacey. "Does your colleague know about me? Or any of us? You have to figure they might come after any one of us to force you into the open."

"I didn't think of that," he admitted. "Shit, I'm sorry. I should leave. Draw them away."

"Tom, just go to the police," she pleaded. "At least they can give you protection and they probably have forensic accountants who can help you with the money trail. If not the local police then the feds, FBI maybe."

"When did you become so smart?" he asked. "I never thought of that. Look, I'll stay here tonight and tomorrow I'll go to the FBI. I promise."

She searched his face, looking for any sign of lying but as far as she could tell he meant everything he said. After cleaning up the dishes Tom went into his room while Lacey sat in front of her laptop trying to write. She still tried to write 1000 words per day while she was working on the house, not wanting to get out of the routine. After a few hours she had enough and decided to go to bed. It was raining pretty heavily and she figured it would help with falling asleep. Gently she knocked on Tom's door and he opened it.

"I'm going to bed," she said. "I've turned everything off out here. I'll see you in the morning."

He hugged her. "You bet," he said. "Good night. I love you, little sister."

"I love you, too, big brother," she replied, and turned to her room.

Settling under the old quilt that her grandmother had made she listened to the sound of the rain hitting the roof and slowly drifted off to a deep sleep. She awoke before sunrise with a start, thinking she heard the sound of a car leaving. Getting out of the bed she went to Tom's room and found it empty. His bag was gone as well. On the kitchen table was a piece of paper with Tom's handwriting on it and five hundred dollars paper clipped to it. She put the overhead light on to read the note.

Lacey,

I'm going to the FBI with what I know. Hopefully, they believe me. I'm sorry for disappointing you and for running out before you got up but I was afraid if I saw you I would lose my nerve.

I'm glad Grandpa left you the house. You deserve it. You deserve so much.

I love you.

Tom

Stepping outside she walked across the damp grass to the garage and found it empty. He really had left and she suddenly felt sick, in a frightened sense. The padlock had been left open, with the key still in it, and she began to close the double doors when she heard a noise from inside. As quietly as possible she reopened one of the doors, stepped inside, and grabbed a shovel, holding it in both of her hands.

"Who's there?" she asked. "This is private property and you're trespassing. If you leave now I won't call the police."

Stepping further inside the dim interior she could feel her heart pounding. Then she saw him, a man moaning on the floor of the garage. He was a big man, dressed in jeans, boots, and wearing several layers of clothing as if he was cold, which he likely was as he was soaked. A back pack lay beside him. His long hair covered his face and he had several days beard growth on his face.

"Please," he said, raising his hand with his palm out. "I won't hurt you. I just needed a place to hide out of the rain until I got my strength back. I saw the man leave and he left the garage open. I didn't know you were here."

Slowly she approached him and kneeled down to see him better. She saw his leg was bleeding and that he had tied a belt on it to act as a tourniquet. His voice was soft and non-threatening. He moved his head and she saw a flash of blue eyes, the bluest eyes she had ever seen, even in the dim pre-dawn light.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"James," he said in that deceptively soft voice. "I just need to rest for a few hours then I'll be on my way."

She placed the shovel against the wall. "Come on, James," she said, offering her arms to him. "I have a first aid kit in the house. You need to get out of those wet clothes as well."

He began to protest but he saw the look on her face and he slowly got up, leaning on her as she helped him stand. His size surprised her. She guessed he was at least six feet tall but he seemed bigger with his broad shoulders. He grabbed his back pack with his left hand and put his right arm around her shoulder as she put hers around his waist. Slowly they walked out of the garage and into the house, where she helped him to the couch.

"I'm sorry to bother you but do you think I could have some water?" he asked politely, looking up at her with those blue eyes.

Lacey brought him a glass of water which he drained while she went to the bathroom, bringing out the first aid kit. He looked intently at her as she approached.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Lacey Williams," she replied. "I live here. The man was my brother, Tom. He's ... in trouble and is turning himself into the FBI. I'm guessing you're in trouble as well."

He smiled slightly and she saw a flash of white teeth. "Oh yeah," he replied. "Big trouble. That's how I got shot. Certain people want me back and I don't want to go back to doing what they made me do."

"Well, I'm not going to ask for details right now," she decided. "I'm going to have to rip your pants open to fix your leg. I can fix the pants but they need washing with all the blood that's on them. You could probably do with a shower as well ... no offence."

"None taken," he smiled again and she felt a sudden heat inside her at the sight of it. "If you help me to your bathroom, I can shower and remove the bullet myself. I've done it before. I'll take you up on washing my clothes, if that's not too much of an imposition. Then I'll be on my way."

"I have a robe you can wear," she offered. "It's old, belonged to my Grandpa. I keep it to remind me of him."

He nodded and she helped him to the bathroom, then brought the robe to him. "Thank you," he said softly, then he closed the door, opening it shortly after while wearing the robe. She saw a flash of something silver coloured and he changed his position, hiding his left hand from her. Handing her a bundle of clothing he nodded his thanks and closed the door. She heard the shower come on and she waited until it stopped before putting his clothes into the washer, not wanting to use up all the hot water. She looked down at herself and realized she was still wearing what she had worn to bed. She went in her room, locked the door and changed. There were no other sounds from the bathroom when she came out so Lacey began making some breakfast. Guessing he hadn't eaten for a while she made a lot and when he did come out in her Grandpa's robe his eyes widened at the spread she put out.

"I figured you were likely hungry," she said. "Go ahead. I don't mind. Did you get the bullet out?"

"Yes, I did," he answered as he sat at the table. "It will heal quickly."

She watched him as he ate. His long hair was slicked back over his ears, and she noticed that under the unshaven face he was really quite handsome. Even with just the robe on he was a big man; his broad shoulders and chest hinted at the muscular body she was sure was underneath. His manners were good. He commented on how tasty the food was and he was well on his way to eating all of it. She noticed he wore a glove on his left hand and stared at it for a bit drawing his notice.

"You're wondering about the glove," he said quietly. "I have an artificial arm and hand. It ... bothers some people."

"Why?" she asked. He stopped eating and for a moment she saw anxiety on his face. "I'm sorry. It's really none of my business."

"It's because of what I was," he finally said, after much deliberation. "What I was forced to do. The people who gave me this arm made it very distinctive, as a sort of calling card, I guess. It was supposed to make my targets afraid."

He had stopped eating and looked intensely at the surface of the table, as if he was afraid of revealing more. Lacey said nothing, but a thought had grown in her head and she took a deep breath. Was this soft spoken polite man really him?

"You're him," she said softly. "The assassin for HYDRA that everyone is looking for, Bucky Barnes."

The man still said nothing but his demeanour had changed to that of a man filled with regret and sadness. When he looked at Lacey she could see the pain in his eyes as he slowly nodded his head. "I meant what I said in the garage," he stated. "I'm not that man anymore and I won't hurt you. Once my clothes are clean I'll be out of here and you'll never see me again."

"Who shot you?" She had an idea but she wanted confirmation.

"HYDRA," he replied. "They're still looking for me, along with the CIA, who have shoot to kill orders on me. I was in New York, trying to find a ship to Europe I could stowaway on and they cornered me on the docks. I had to jump into the Hudson River and swim to Staten Island. It was a long way and cold but it was the only way to escape them in the dark. I made it, barely. I'll try to get on a ship in Philadelphia or Baltimore instead."

Lacey swallowed. It was November and this man had just told her he swam from New York to Staten Island with a bullet in his leg. He had said it so matter of factly that she had no doubt it was true. She tried to remember what she had read or seen on TV about Bucky Barnes. After Natasha Romanoff leaked HYDRA and SHIELD files there were investigative journalists who had been trying to find out more about this legendary assassin.

"You're really as old as they say you are?" she asked.

"I was born in 1917," he replied. "HYDRA kept me frozen between assignments so I barely aged. I'm still trying to sort out my memories from before but I remember a lot of what they did to me after the war. I wasn't a person to them. I was an ... asset, a weapon."

She began to gather the empty dishes from the table and he placed his right hand on one of hers. "Thank you for the meal," he said. "I hadn't eaten for some time. It will help my bullet wound heal faster."

His hand was hot, as if he had a fever and at first she was going to say something but she realized the heat was likely a byproduct of his treatment from HYDRA. It would explain how he could swim so far in cold water. She made an impulsive decision.

"You can stay for a while, Bucky," she offered, seeing him smile slightly as she used his name. "I have a spare room, although I'll have to change the sheets on the bed. This place is out of the way and no one should come looking for you here. I can check the internet and find a ship that's headed to Europe for you."

"Why would you do that for me?" he asked, puzzled. "You don't know me."

"Let's just say I empathize with your situation," she replied. "Everyone deserves a second chance. You're different than how they describe you."

"Okay," he agreed after being silent for some time. "Thank you, I'll stay for a while."

As she washed the dishes, he dried them and asked where they went. She put his washed clothes into the dryer and came back to see Bucky looking at the books on her shelf, holding one in his hand. He gestured to her Grandpa's LPs.

"You have some good music here," he noted.

She smiled and nodded her head. "They belonged to my Grandpa," she replied. "They kind of grew on me while I played them for him when he was dying."

Her face must have shown she was still grieving because he bowed his head slightly. "I'm sorry for your loss," he said. He raised the book he was holding. "You wrote this? Confessions of a Broken White Girl."

"My first," she replied. "It didn't sell a lot but it got some good reviews."

"Do you mind if I read it while I wait for my clothes to dry?"

"Go for it," she said, then headed outside to continue with the sanding of the window frames, tying the rag around her forehead again.

She sanded for some time then saw the flash of a silver hand reach for the sander and straightened up to see a fully dressed Bucky standing beside her. "I can do that for you," he offered. "It's a thankless job but my artificial hand can take more abuse than your hand can."

Handing him the sander she saw he was right. With his artificial hand he could put more pressure on it.

"Did you finish the book?" she asked.

"No, but I liked what I read of it," he said. "Reminded me a little of Virginia Woolf except for the fact she used stream of consciousness in her writing and yours was more straightforward."

"You've read Virginia Woolf?" she asked sceptically.

"I've read a lot," he replied. "I initially read some women writers to impress college girls before the war but I did get something out of it."

"You remember that?" Lacey said sarcastically. "What did you get out of it, sex?"

He laughed and his perfect smile was very prominent. "Touché," he said. "I'll admit that I had a bit of a reputation."

Lacey laughed as well. At least he was honest. He finished sanding all the windows and asked what he could do next. Before she could say he tensed and listened, tilting his head slightly.

"You have company," he said. "Several vehicles by the sounds of it. If you don't mind I'm going to make myself scarce but I'll be nearby. I just don't want to risk being caught."

"Go," she said decisively.

She turned towards the road and didn't even hear him leave. Picking up the hammer she started looking for loose nails on the railing and hammering them back in. About a minute after Bucky left three dark vehicles pulled up and several big men with dark suits and wearing sunglasses got out of each vehicle. As the others spread out over the property four approached her. One took his sunglasses off and showed her his ID.

"Lacey Williams?" he asked. "FBI. I'm Agent Dan Jones. Have you seen your brother Thomas recently?"

"He was here yesterday," she replied. "He stayed the night and left before I got up. He left me a note saying he was going to report to the FBI. What is this about?"

"May I see the note?" asked Agent Jones. "Please?"

She turned to go into the house and was aware that he and the other three men from his vehicle had followed her in. She had put the note on her desk and handed it to him. After he read it he looked at her again, then nodded at the other three who spread out.

"Now wait just a minute," she protested. "I've been truthful with you. If you're going to search my house I want to see a warrant."

He pulled a document out of his inner jacket pocket. "Did your brother say anything more?" he asked.

"I was going to tell you but this is bullshit," she said. "I'm calling a lawyer and I won't say anything until I speak to one."

"That is your right," he said. "Your brother is in a lot of trouble. There is a substantial amount of money missing and until we find your brother we're going to assume he stole it."

Lacey kept her face grim and dialled the lawyer who handled her grandfather's estate. When she explained what was happening he said he would be there right away. Fifteen minutes later the lawyer arrived and read over the warrant. Then he pulled Lacey into the bathroom. For a moment she panicked slightly when she saw the bullet and some bloody gauze from Bucky's wound in the small garbage can beside the sink. She blew her nose with a tissue and dropped it over the gauze.

"Did your brother say anything to you about the money?" asked the lawyer, drawing her attention.

"He said he was tricked into a money laundering scheme for the mob," she replied. "Then he said he transferred a large sum of money into a secret account so he could find the money trail. I told him to report it to the FBI and let them find the money trail. He left before I got up and wrote a note that he was going to the FBI with his story."

The lawyer took a deep breath. "If you want my advice I would tell them everything," he said. "If he's in trouble you need their help to get him out of it, especially if the mob is involved. If he's the one who is in the wrong, you need to distance yourself from him immediately."

Lacey swore, thought for a moment and made a decision. She left the bathroom and approached Agent Jones.

"My brother told me he was tricked into a money laundering scheme involving the mob," she said. "He admitted to transferring the money into a secret account in order to find the money trail. I have no idea of the account details. He said he would report to the FBI so that your forensic accountants could find the money trail. That's all I know. If he's being chased by the mob you need to find him first."

Jones looked grimly at her and took out his cell phone. "Put an APB out on Thomas Williams, as a material witness in a money laundering scheme," he said, then he paused. "Are you sure it's him? Okay, cancel the APB but I want his vehicle examined fully and the autopsy done as soon as possible." He hung up and looked at Lacey apologetically. "I'm sorry. Your brother was found dead in his car just half an hour ago. He had been shot in the head. It would appear that the mob found him before we did. I am sorry for your loss."

A roaring sound filled Lacey's ears and she stood there absorbing what Agent Jones had just told her. Tom, dead. She knew Jones was saying something to her but she had no idea what it was because the roaring sound blocked everything out. He looked at the lawyer, who helped her sit and kneeled in front of her.

"Lacey," he kept saying until she finally began to hear words again. "Lacey, did your brother say anything about the money laundering, what it involved?"

"No, except it was one of his colleagues that asked him to set it up," she said as she felt a lump begin to form in her throat. "He didn't say which one. I have to phone my mother."

"We already have two agents on their way to your mother's house," replied Jones. "We're going to finish searching your property and see if your brother left any clues here. Do you have someone who can stay with you?" She nodded, remembering Bucky was nearby. "Good. I would suggest you keep on the lookout for any strange vehicles or people that approach you or your property. If you do notice anything please call me directly. Whoever your brother crossed is going to want their money."

He handed her his card and she took it. Absently she sat on the couch for the next two hours, watching but not really observing the agents search the inside of her house. She did note they didn't go into the bathroom. When the FBI was finished with their search Agent Jones again expressed his sympathies. Then he ordered his men to leave and the lawyer went with them, leaving her alone with just the sound of the birds outside.

Chapter 2>>

Series masterlist

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[hannahhook7744]

The Strode Family;

Laurie and her three kids: Jamie, John, and Karen.

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The Hardest Part Is Over;

Summary: We've seen multiple timelines throughout the Halloween series, involving Laurie Strode. But what if there was one out there she got a real happy ending with Jamie, John, and Karen?

One where Michael’s rain of terror ended at the Haddonfield Memorial Hospital on November 1st, 1978. 

Timeline notes:

Karen is four years older than John and was born in 1980. 

She and John have the same shitty dad that Laurie left shortly after John was born. 

A couple of years later she met Jimmy Lloyd again and the two became friends, and eventually got married. Having Jamie when John was nine.

------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay, so, you press ‘X’ to jump—” John gently led Jamie's hand to the X-button on the controller, not taking his eyes off of the screen as he explained the controls to her. “Good, that's good. Now, for a bigger jump—or a double jump, as some call it—you have to press the x-button twice.”

Jamie nodded to show that she was listening, allowing her older brother to lead her. Trying not to let the family dog, Sundae—a puppy that their neighbors the Carruthers had gifted her on her last birthday—, distract her (which was hard considering he kept trying to steal her baby doll so that he could chew on it). 

Both unaware of the fact that their mom, a now forty year old Laurie Lloyd (née Strode) who was now the headmistress of John’s school—Hillcrest Academy—was watching them with a smile from the kitchen. 

“What’re they playing?” Her husband and Jamie's father, Jimmy—fresh in the door from his shift at the hospital, asked pouring himself a cup of coffee. 

“Some game John bought. I think it was called Scooby Doo and the… Cipher Place?” The blonde scrunched up her nose, scratching her brain for an answer. 

Even then she wasn't quite sure that she had remembered the title right. 

But that was alright, because just then Karen swooped in with her car keys and bookbag in hand. Running late for her psychology class at the local university. “It's Cyber Chase, not Cipher Place.”

Jimmy tilted his head to the side, a slightly amused smile making its way onto his face. “I thought John said he was ‘too old’ to like Scooby doo.”

Karen rolled her eyes. “He did, but he didn't get it for him. He got it for Jamie because she asked to play with him and he didn't want his other games to scare her. Gotta go, my alarm didn't go off and I lost track of the time.”

“Alright. Have a good evening, Kare-bear. Don't stay out too late.”

“No promises, mom.” The younger blonde called back, rushing out the door. Jimmy sighing as they watched her go. “They grow up so fast.”

Laurie groaned. “Don't remind me. I can't believe John is going to be joining Karen at college soon. It feels like it was just yesterday that I was helping Karen support his little head as she held him for the first time and now my little girl is going to be a child psychologist. And John is dating.” 

“I don't think I'm gonna survive it when Jamie starts complaining that she's too old to be seen with us in public.” Jimmy was joking but his tone was a bit too serious for his wife's liking. 

“Don't jinx it. I'm still holding out hope that she skips that particular phase.”

“2 out of 3—”

“Twice is a coincidence and three times is a pattern. There's still every chance she won't take after her siblings in that aspect.”

Just then, Jamie and John both cheered and high fived about something that happened in their game. Doing their little secret handshake as they celebrated. 

“You were saying?”

Laurie just sighed. 

Hopefully Jamie's ‘I hate my parents, they're embarrassing’ phase lasted shorter than Karen and John’s did and hopefully it was much, much, much shorter than Jimmy and Laurie's own phases (after that Halloween night neither of them liked to think of) did. 

[thatone16216]

Portgas D Ace x fem reader

Chapter 2

The first thing that greets me is absolute chaos. The typical first day of school chaos. As I maneuver my way through the crowd, I bump into someone. "I'm so sor- Law?" I ask, as the person I bump into turns toward me. He looks at me and musters a small smile. "[Name]-ya. What brings you here?" he asks while patting my head, the closest thing to a hug he will ever give anyone. 

Law and my brother know each other from a few of the college classes he attended. My brother and his friends all graduated with two-year business degrees from the local community college, and one of the classes he was required to take was one Law needed for his major as well. The two were partners on many assignments, and, despite him and Kid not getting along, I had quickly taken a liking to the tattooed med student, and him to me. I always tell Kid that Law needs to visit more often, and all he does is grumble under his breath about "creepy goth guys" and that his "guy-liner" looks stupid, to which I point out he wears lipstick all the damn time. 

I smile at Law. "I have a scholarship to attend school here now. Kid's old boss pulled some strings." Law chuckles. "And how is Eustass-ya?" he asks. I begin to answer when the bell rings. Law turns to me. "I assume you need the office?" He asks. I nod gratefully. He chuckles. "Follow me."

He leads me down a few hallways before stopping in front of a door. "This is the main office, and across the hall is the nurse, where I am unfortunately employed for the time being." He rolls his eyes. "If you need anything, just stop in." And with a final head pat, he walks into the nurse. 

I open the door to the office and step in. The lady at the receptionist desk looks up from her computer. "Hi! You must be the new transfer. [Name], correct? We have so few new students every year, so it's always nice to see a new face! Keeps the job interesting, you know." The lady chatters on and on as I sit and wait for the principal, who will be right with me, according to the lady.

Eventually the door to the principal's office opens and in walks a tall man with long black hair. He's not quite as tall as my brother, but he's pretty damn close. Everything about this man radiates calm, but he's still kind of terrifying. "Miss [Name], correct?" He asks.

I nod and he smiles politely. "I'm Mr Mihawk. I understand you are the scholarship student?" Again I nod, and he continues. "I've been looking at your records. You have an impressive one. Expelled from three schools in four years. You've been arrested for illegal street fighting twice, picked up on shoplifting charges five times, and underage drinking. Academically, your grades averaged right on the cusp of passing, yet it is most peculiar. You did absolutely no work in any of your classes, had poor attendance, and were suspended constantly, yet you would score 100% on every test you took."

He raises a brow at me and I shrug. "Stuff has always come naturally to me. I never felt like doing the work because all it was to me was a waste of time. I knew exactly what I needed to pass the class and not get held back. I didn't care. It's not like I'm destined to accomplish anything anyway."

Mihawk raises a brow at that but says nothing. He takes a paper from the receptionist's outstretched hand and rights something on it before giving it to me. As he does, he smiles at me. "You and I shall have an interesting year, Miss [Name]. I have the feeling we will be seeing a lot of each other. But hopefully not too often. I trust your brother warned you?" I nod a final time, and he turns and walks out of the room. 

I look at my new schedule. My first class is English. Fantastic. A nice easy class for me to fall asleep in. I pick up my bag, say goodbye to the receptionist lady, and make my way to first period.

On my way to English, I encounter a group of girls. I try to sneak by them without being noticed, but unfortunately, I'm not quick enough.

"Oi! Over here!" One calls. I turn to see a cute girl with orange hair waving at me. As I cautiously make my way over, she holds out her hand for a handshake. "Hi! I'm Nami. You must be [Name], the new kid. Word travels fast around here, you know."

I nod, processing the information. The two other girls in the group are a black-haired girl and a girl with light blue hair. Nami calls my attention back to her. "So what do your parents do?" She asks. I raise a brow at her and she explains. "Everyone here has influential parents. Take Robin here," she gestures to the girl with black hair. "Her parents are famous archeologists. And Vivi," the blue-haired girl waves, "Her father is a king of an island off the coast. Everybody's family is large and important here."

I suddenly feel a little uncomfortable. Clearly, though people know my name, they don't know how I got transferred here. I decide not to tell them, and shrug it off as nonchalant. "Oh, it's no big deal," I say. "I was just looking for a new place to go to school. You know, change of pace and all that." Nami looks unconvinced with my answer but the bell rings before she can say anything. I use that as my reason to run off toward where I'm pretty sure my class is.

The bell rings again and I look around. I notice that the numbers for the classrooms don't match the ones on my schedule and turn back down the hall. I eventually make it to English class, though I'm ten minutes late. I originally planned to just walk in and quietly find a seat in the back, but the classroom door has other plans. It loudly slams open and everyone in the class turns to look at me. I feel myself blushing and wave at the class. A cute guy with black hair and freckles catches my eye, and he offers me a grin and a wink. 

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks and tear my eyes away from him to focus on the teacher. "Ahh, you must be [Name], correct? The new... scholarship student." She spits it out like I did something wrong. I hear mutters throughout the class. I remember what the receptionist said. We don't often get new students, she'd said. I suppress an eye roll. Now I guess I won't be sliding under the radar.

I don't like this teacher, though. There was no reason to say that I'm a scholarship student. That sort of thing is the label I get before I even attempt to make a name for myself. I glare slightly at the teacher and she smirks. "I got to look through your records. I must say, they're most impressive. Jail time, foster care, a brother with a record, no parents? You have it all, don't you kid?" My teeth clench as I try not to snap at the teacher. Kid wants me to stick it out and not get expelled from this place, but if this woman insults my brother I'll lose it. 

I sigh and drop into the first empty seat I see, which causes a gasp from the rest of the class. I look up in confusion. Why did me sitting down cause such a reaction? Looking at my surroundings, I notice I'm sitting next to the freckled guy. He smiles at me once he meets my gaze, and I smile back, still confused. "Hi," he says. "I'm, Ace." I nod. "I'm [Name]. Nice to meet you, Ace." I look at the other students. "Why is everyone staring at me?" Ace chuckles. "I'm kind of the popular guy around here. You know, king of the school? That's me." He says it with a smile. I look around again.

Now that he mentions it, the girls in the class do seem to be glaring at us. Or me, more specifically. I roll my eyes and sigh. "First day and already I've made enemies," I grumble. Next to me, I hear Ace snort. A small smile graces my face as I focus on what the teacher is  teaching. Maybe this school won't be so bad after all.

I still hate the uniform, though.

[whichcouldmeannothing]

my sisterly remorse confute mine honour (m4m snippet!)

(this chapter has grown so much bigger than i had planned, so im taking longer for it, sorry! but here! have this snippet <333)

-

‘She’s going to hit you,” he hears from behind him. On reflex, his fingers flex inward, as if he could hide the smouldering cigarette in between them. He turns around and Irene just grins at him. 

They were the closest in age, and thus the tightest growing up. The two years she had on him vanished soon enough once he grew taller than her, and he took on the gruff big brother he was always meant to be. Of course, that hasn’t stopped her from ruffling his hair and pretending like he was still a skinny twelve year-old, but he’s offered to beat up plenty of people for her. He thinks its a fair trade, really.

“Which is why Ma won’t hear anything, won’t she?” She walks up to where he stands in the backyard. He’s at least five inches taller than her, so if he blows smoke right now, he would actually smother her. He doesn’t do that, of course, but. The instinct is there. 

“She won’t, if you give me one.” His eyes widen as he looks down at his sister. She looks up at him, eyebrows furrowed and lips formed into a pout. She extends a hand, and John places one in her palm. He lights it once she’s held it between her two fingers, and she takes a long drag from it after wards. 

For a minute, they stand together in the backyard, the only source of warmth being the fire chasing their lips on the cigarette. 

“When did you start?” He’s heard of twin telepathy, and he gets it, but siblings have a very deformed sense of it. Instinctual things like who should do ditches and who should throw out the trash need no words. But real communication is always the most stilted. Yes, I know how you take your coffee and which pajamas are yours in the wash, but I don’t know why you smoke. 

“Not because of you,” She flicks off some ash. “You’re not that important.”

“I’m the brightest spot in this fuckin’ family,”

“We did just fine without you.”

“You didn’t cry over me?” 

“Knew you’d make it.”  It must be more vulnerable than what she was trying to go for because she takes another pull. She stares at the grass, and her college heels are stark black against the browning green. 

“I started because I went over to my friend’s house. We had a fight, we didn’t talk, and by the time I came around, she’d booked herself off. By the time I went over to her house, she was gone.” Her eyes stare off into the ground.

Like a good brother, he puts a hand around her shoulder. As her brother, he pats it twice. He knows he should comfort her, but he doesn’t know what to do. 

But she does lean on him. She takes a shaky breath. “It got worse when we got your MIA notice.” 

“Sorry,” He’s been saying that a lot lately. He doesn’t think it’ll be ever enough to convey how he feels. 

“Whatever. You’re here now.” She looks up at him.  “And you’re not gonna ditch, are you?” 

“I’ll try not to.” She hums contentedly. 

They continue smoking in silence for a while. It’s peaceful, staring out into the night sky with someone you love right beside you. 

“How ‘bout you?” She asks. “Why’d you start?”

He started because a boy offered him a cigarette once. The boy had looked at him with captivating blue eyes, blonde hair windswept, and the tip of the cigarette still wet from his lips. He took it slow, lingered around the stick until he could choke down the cough shoving up his throat. But he could feel his eyes locked onto him, enraptured and watching John like there would be nothing more captivating in the world. 

“Pretty boy offered me one.” He never talked about it with his sisters. Why would he tell anyone?

But he’s survived a war. He’s ruined enough of his life. He thinks he’s okay with this one detail escaping its cage. 

Her mouth drops open in surprise at his openness, but she takes it in stride. “Lucky you.”

He’s been smoking long enough for Irene to know he’s been smoking, starting when he still lived in Wisconsin. He still bikes when he needs an escape, still kicks and shouts and throws his tantrums. “Jesus, I haven’t changed at all.”

“Yes, you have.” Irene is almost the same way Marge is. They’re both bright, but Marge’s hearth is nothing like his sister’s sparklers. He’s used to how she flashes, and can burn your fingertips. But her voice attempts to comfort him, soft like a blanket. “We all have.”

[blitzendoggo]

Not to Me, Not When It’s You

When you are both a Ranger of Power and a full-time student, it can be easy to forget to take care of yourself, but that’s what Glib has Skog for.

Ranger Blue/Skog Abderus (2321 words) Consenual Blood Drinking

~~

Fall had always been one of Skog’s favorite seasons.

It isn’t hot and just bordering on cold, giving him an excuse to wear the sweaters his mom makes him, and when he wears suits, he doesn’t feel like he is in an oven. He loves the colors of the plant life as the leaves fall, and the warm smell of spices in the air.

To him, fall is quiet and comfortable, but the same could not be said about his boyfriend.

Glib Murphy was in his last year of getting his Ph.D. in Magical Probability, which is time-consuming enough, but he is also Ranger Blue of the Rangers of Power. The Rangers of Power, as Skog understands it, are the magical police of the area, chosen by artifacts left by the founders. Years ago, when the concept was explained to the businessman, he had no earthly idea why a college town would need magically-selected guards to protect it until he visited the town and saw giant clay monsters destroying the buildings only to get held back by these magic police.

For some reason, every year the monsters become less frequent during the summer months, as if giving the rangers a break before coming back twice as hard during the fall. Combine the increase of monsters and the new classes of the fall semester and Glib is absolutely wiped by the time he makes it home. If he makes it home, that is. There have been many days where he passes out in the library while doing school work, or in the streets after fighting a monster.

But today, he makes it home. Skog hears him stumble through the door from the study where he is sitting in front of the crackling fireplace, reading The Complete History of Sailing in Vontral in his tall back red chair with a cup of honey lavender tea and eating handfuls of chocolate, cherries, and almonds.

“Skog?” Glib calls weakly, accompanied by the sound of his backpack thunking to the floor and his stumbling footsteps.

Skog notes what page he is on before placing his book on the table next to him, gently wakes their two sleeping cats -Anchor and Squid, black and grey brothers that Glib begged Skog to bring home, and Skog is weak to resist his pleas- in his lap, and swiftly stands up. “In here, Glib,” the orc says as he walks to the doorway. Skog pauses as he examines his lovely boyfriend who is battered and bruised; coated in clay, dirt, and blood; exhausted to the point of near delirium; but he is home in one piece. “Welcome home, my love,” Skog says as he crosses the room in two strides to the smaller.

“Hey,” Glib says tiredly. Skog reaches out to hug him and Glib leans away. “I’m fuckin’ coated in monster slime,” he explains. “You’ve got a nice suit on, I don’t wanna ruin it with this bullshit.”

“There are cleaning charms for a reason, Glib,” Skog says as he scoops the smaller up and into a tight hug, the fight leaving Glib’s body immediately. His hands tighten into the pinstripe shirt and his legs weakly wrap around Skog’s hips, clinging to his boyfriend as tightly as he can.

“I need a shower,” Glib says into Skog's shirt.

The orc nods and carries him up the stairs and into the master bathroom. Using one hand he holds up his boyfriend while the other starts a warm bath. He picks up a bottle of a viscous teal liquid and pours it into the filling tub, the liquid almost immediately turning into white bubbles.

“Bubble bath? Really? I’m not fucking five,” Glib grumbles as he watches Skog work, face pressed into the larger’s shoulder.

The orc pauses and looks down at him. “Would you like me to take out the bubbles?”

There is a long pause before Glib quietly says “No.”

Skog smiles as he continues setting up the bath.

Once the bubbles are at an acceptable level and soaps, towels, and pajamas are laid out, Skog gently detaches Glib from his hip, though with some effort as the vampire clings to him.

“Do you want to bathe on your own or would you like me to help?” Skog questions after Glib’s feet are steady (enough) on the floor. He knows the answer, but he wants confirmation before he does anything.

“I want you to help,” Glib says tiredly, his eyes already drooping closed.

Skog gives him a kind smile as his hands drop to the front of Glib’s clothes and lingers on the bottom of his shirt, waiting for Glib’s approval before pulling it over his head and gently ridding him of the rest of his garments. Dirt and monster clay fall from him in chunks, and the smaller is clearly fighting the urge to scratch at the irritating substances coating his pale skin. The orc tries to keep the worry from his face as he sees all of the cuts and bruises littering all of his thin body. Some of these are probably days old and certainly not treated properly. Skog elects to deal with one problem at a time as he places his hand on Glib’s shoulder, leading him to the bathtub and helping him step in.

The smaller practically melts into the water, the stress and anxiety instantly getting lifted as the water surrounds him. He makes a pitiful but happy noise as Skog begins to wash his hair, relaxing fully into his boyfriend’s touch. Once the day's worth of grime is pulled from his brown hair, the orc moves on to washing the rest of his body, using the medicated body wash -given to him by Specs- around the wounds and Glib’s favorite scent everywhere else.

Skog cleans and double-cleans Glib’s entire body before deciding that he is spotless. He gingerly lifts the younger from the now brownish-greenish-redish water and towels him dry.

Getting the vampire clothed is harder than removing the ruined garments because he is almost completely limp in the orc’s hold.

“Love,” Skog says gently once his fuzzy blue pajamas are secured onto him.

“Hm?” Glib asks, barely lifting his head in acknowledgment, his eyes staying glued shut.

“You can’t fall asleep yet, you need to eat first,” the orc chides quietly, using his large fingers to tilt Glib’s head up. The vampire blinks blearily at him before slowly nodding. Skog gives him a soft smile before picking him back up and carrying him back downstairs.

They reenter the study, Squid darting around Skog’s feet, meowing and purring for attention while Anchor barely lifts his head in acknowledgment.

“Yes, yes, hello, Squid,” the orc grumbles. “I promise he’s fine, now will you please-” He picks the cat up with his foot and gently sets him to the side, “Get out of my way.”

Squid makes a “mrrph” noise as he’s moved, but dutifully keeps away from the orc’s feet, choosing instead to settle on the warm stones of the fireplace.

“Hello, Anchor,” Skog says as he looks down at the cat lying in his seat.

Anchor slow-blinks at him.

“Will you remove yourself from my seat?”

Anchor stares at him for a long moment before slowly getting up and stretching as she walks to join her sister by the fire.

“Thank you,” he calls to the cat before carefully settling in his seat, taking great care to not crush his boyfriend’s legs. Glib is completely lax against the bigger. “Glib,” he says softly.

The vampire groans in response.

“Can you sit up for a moment?”

He weakly nods as he leans back, tittering with imbalance, and never opens his eyes.

Skog picks up a vial from the table, it looking tiny in his large hand as it is no bigger than his little finger. It glows with a soft red glow and pulses warmly as the pink liquid swirls and glitters inside. He pulls the cork from it, the smell of candy filling the air. He gingerly presses it to Glib’s lips and the small opens his mouth just enough for Skog to pour the liquid into his mouth. Once the liquid is gone from the bottle, the deeper wounds begin to heal over as the smaller ones fade away completely.

As the healing potion does its work, the orc sets to work on his clothes. With nimble fingers, Skog takes off his suit jacket and undoes his button-up, and discards both to the floor.

“Alright, you can lay back down.” Skog doesn’t even get to finish the words before Glib is falling, full force, into him. The orc lets him relax for a minute, rubbing soothing circles into his back before he asks, “Have you eaten today, my love?”

“What do you think?” Glib snaps before immediately following it with, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“You didn’t mean to snap,” Skog finishes. “I’m aware, and I’m not mad. You’re tired.” Glib nods slowly against his shoulder. “Now, can you answer my question? Have you eaten today?”

“No,” he says quietly.

Skog moves one of his hands to the back of Glib’s head and moves it to the base of his neck.

“You sure?” Glib asks even though his fangs are already brushing the jugular vein.

“Always,” Skog says, fingers playing with the damp hair of his boyfriend. “Orcs were bred for war and fighting, it's good for me to bleed.”

Glib, satisfied that their little ritual has been completed, bites down, lapping up the sweet blood instantly. He hums in appreciation of the hints of lavender and honey tea paired with almonds, cherries, and chocolate. Skog picks his book up off the table and flips back to his page, reading while Glib has his dinner. This goes on for nearly five minutes before Glib slowly pulls off and grabs the rag from the table and blots the blood.

“Are you sure that’s enough?” Skog asks, leaning up to kiss the vampire’s cheek as he takes the rag from his hand and cleans the wound himself.

After the first few times they had done this, Glib stopped pulling off before he was full. It took much reassurance, but Skog was able to convince Glib that he really didn’t mind the activity, especially since it kept Glib healthy drinking from a live source.

Glib nods as he settles back into the orc’s hold, laying his head on Skog’s broad shoulder.

The older simply reads while he waits for Glib to fall slack in his arms, but after several minutes, the vampire is still awake and looking up at him with slightly glassy eyes.

“Is something wrong, love?” Skog asks, putting the book back on the table.

“Why?” Glib says quietly, staring up at the older as if he has all the answers in the world.

“Because you should be asleep by now, but you look like you want to cry?” he answers with a cocked eyebrow.

“No, I mean why do this?” the smaller asks, voice small and weak, shaking and boarding on cracking.

“Do what?”

“Take care of me,” Glib says as tears begin to fall from his dark green eyes, nearly glowing red in the low light. “Why put in all this fucking effort when you know you’ll just have to do it all over again in a few days?”

That catches Skog off guard. He looks at his lover for several seconds, choosing his words carefully before deciding on a simple, “I love you and I want you to be healthy.”

“But why?” Glib laments, tears falling faster. “You work all day and then have to come home and take care of me because I can’t fucking take care of myself!”

The orc buries his hand in Glib’s hair and plays with it while the vampire cries, full-body sobs wracking his body.

“Why? Why?” he asks over and over, a mantra to calm his mind while his nails dig into the fabric of Skog’s undershirt and draw blood from his thick skin.

Skog waits until Glib is less hysterical and says simply, “Because I like taking care of you. It's how I prefer to destress.”

“But why? I barely talk and- and I rely completely on you for fucking everything-” A sob rips from him and breaks his sentence. It takes several moments before he has his composure back and can say anything more. “It's just a fucking chore for you.”

“No, it’s not just a chore to me,” Skog corrects quietly but firmly. “Nothing is a chore when it comes to you.”

“But my parents-”

“Am I your parents?” Skog interrupts. Glib shakes his head. “To them, you may have been a chore, but not to me, not when it’s you.”

Glib lays limply against the bigger, his tears still wetting the front of Skog’s shirt.

“I love you,” he says quietly.

The orc smiles at him. “I love you too.”

There is silence for a minute before Glib says it again, voice a little more stable, “I love you.”

Skog dips his head down and kisses the top of the vampire’s head. “I love you too, more than anything.” He cuddles with the human for a little longer before picking his book back up and settling back into their night routine.

“I love you,” Glib says one last time as his eyes droop closed, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to him.

“I love you too. Now get some sleep,” Skog responds softly. There is a quiet hum from the smaller before he is completely still against the larger. Without doing the motions of breathing, the vampire is effectively a corpse.

Skog waits for another few minutes, deciding to complete his chapter before standing up with his sleeping husband.

“Come on Squid, Anchor, let’s go to bed,” he says quietly as walks towards the stairs, the pair of cats hot on his heels.

[antiphrastic]

Fic I read & loved this week (1 Jan - 7 Jan 2023)

The Wrong Shade of Pink by ATreeFullofStars

Words: 592 Rated: G

Prompt from chongoblog on tumblr: "An Increasingly Frustrated Pokemon Trainer who wants a Sylveon but he isn’t emotionally equipped enough to understand the nuanced difference between friendship and affection so he just has like 13 Espeons and Umbreons"

The only things I know about Pokemon I learned from Pokemon Go, but this is sweet and heartwarming and I loved it a lot.

i’ll take a secondhand monster by Stratisphyre

Words: 24691 Chapters: 3/3 Rated: T

“You must not stray to the lower levels, A-Yu,” Yao-ge told him with his scary, empty smile. “Or else I shall tell the beast down there to eat you.”

There is a monster in Koi Tower.

Little Mo Xuanyu moves to Koi Tower and can hear the monster in the basement through his floor. Difficult to read in places (Mo Xuanyu's life isn't all that great for the a while there), but I read it in one sitting and liked the child's perspective that felt like it really understands children.

Also it made me cry twice.

Like You Mean It by CoatWrites

Words: 5694 Rated: T

Lan Zhan gets sent a dick pic. Wei Ying doesn't understand why it bothers him so much.

Modern college au. Hilarious. Heartfelt. Excellent use of of footnotes. Good friends Lan Zhan and Wei Ying deal with Wei Ying's confused discomfort about Lan Zhan getting sent a dick pic. Ace rep and excellent communications skills. My bookmark notes tell me I've read this one at least four times.

Wei Wuxian's Discreet Dating Service: Hot Rogue Cultivators In Your Area! by x_los

Words: 3500 Rated: T

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin are only sort of speaking. This doesn’t prevent Wei Wuxian from interfering in Jiang Wanyin’s life. Just because you're estranged doesn't mean you don't want your palpably miserable baby brother to be happy! And you know what's made Wei Wuxian very, very happy? Marriage.

Post-canon Yunmeng Shuangjie reconciliation that's also a Jiang Cheng character study. Don't let the title fool you, it's heartfelt as well as funny. Made me teary, in a good way.

and so my heart beats wildly by lily_winterwood

Words: 106,435 Chapters: 19/19 Rated: E

“You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him.

“Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.”

“Thanks,” says Wei Wuxian drily. “That’s very comforting.”

Or: five nighthunting competitions where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rivals, and one where they weren't.

Modern Cultivation As A Competitive Sport Rivals to Lovers AU. I read it in under a day. I absolutely loved the professional nighthunting games, and all the incredible world-building that went into it. Might have made me cry. You might be sensing a pattern.

(I also recommend the next work in the series, which is 15 chapters of missing scenes, alternate scenes, and late night commentary on the state of competitive cultivation/Nie Mingjue thirst from John Oliver)

Wei Wuxian’s Home for Lost Creatures by Stratisphyre

Words: 22341 Chapters:7/7 Rated: G

Wei Wuxian’s house came to town and settled by the sea.

Gentle modern-with-magic AU. Wei Wuxian has a travelling house slash animal sanctuary. Lan Wangji and Lan Yuan bring him a critter. Very gentle read, very sweet, read it in a single sitting, left me wanting to know more about the world, which is always true of Stratisphyre's fics. I just realized this is the 2nd of their fics in this post.

[luckybyler]

My dude.

I’m not saying that seasons 3 and 4 are bad, they’re great. But it’s PAINFULLY OBVIOUS that Stranger Things was meant to be three seasons long: season 1, 2, and a previous version of what we will now know as season 5.

We know the show was meant to last more than 1 season because Noah auditioned for Will by reading the “crazy together” scene from season 2. We know it was meant to last more than two seasons because in the original script of the snowball dance they had Will looking longingly at Mike, which implies there was still stuff to be explored (we may be able to find clues in other, monster-related plots).

However, they removed Will’s look towards Mike and added an unscripted Mileven kiss. This was a deliberate choice to stretch these storylines further instead of being resolved in the third, originally final season. They also came up with that horrid hidden spin-off pilot that was episode 7. Seasons 3 and 4 feel like a forced detour from the original plan: the whole dealing with a lot of summer tween/early teenager angst, “killing” Hopper then immediately showing us that he’s not dead, retrofitting Vecna into the story, which meant giving El the soap opera-esque “stroke” as a justification for why she could barely talk when there were other kids there; “killing” Brenner then bringing him back *again* just to kill him *again*, making El lose her powers for a minute yet get them back *again*. Making the Byers move to California just to bring them back *again*, having El learning about fashion just to regress *again*, breaking up Mileven twice just to get them back together *again*. And made Byler fall out then reconnect *again*, then Will look at Mike longingly while he gave his speech to El, a heightened version of what was supposed to happen at the Snowball dance. They even rehashed Steve’s feelings for Nancy *again*.

Trim the fat from Seasons 3 and 4, and all the main characters are in a place where they would have been a couple of episodes or maybe halfway into a hypothetical 3rd and final season: Jopper are together; Jancy are together but have the college thing to talk about, Mileven are together but there’s doubt that Mike loves her, Byler are full of romantic tension but getting interrupted, Max has just been attacked and is the one in a coma this time while Lucas suffers, Dustin just experienced the loss of a big brother figure (clearly a placeholder for Steve), Hawkins is destroyed by the Upside Down, etc.

My theory is that the Duffers were working on Season 2 when Netflix addressed Stranger Things’ sudden massive popularity, sat them down, asked them to make it five season instead at least, and they said “fine”, so they tweaked the middle in order to get back to (more of less) their original idea for the ending.

“season 3 of stranger things is so weird and out of place, it doesn’t belong at all” WRONG triple quadruple subtext attack

[sjw-publishings]

JUST CHILLAX NOOB

———

1K Special, well almost 1K at this time. But I finished LOADING the story online and this impatient zoomin’ TF just can’t wait!

Do read the prequel A Shift in Attractions as well as Chastize Thy Son as it does tie into the Camp Christening series. Links underlined below.

A Shift in Attractions.

Chastize Thy Son

I would link more but there’s a whole bunch! Scroll down both @dumb-and-jocked and my pages for the rest of the series and tons of other exciting stuff!

———

“Wah…you’ll gonna love it brother…made it fresh and LIT!”

The businessman eyed at the Asian College student that walked up to counter of the ‘E- Cafe’. Holding a bottle of milky white substance as it bubbled impatiently like the go-getter Zoomer that held it.

The forty-five year old man couldn’t help but envy at the sight of a young, youthful guy fresh in college. Being able to dress so easily in just a simple tee and shorts is a leisure he didn’t really have for a long time, save at home when he wasn’t having a meeting or a date.

Which was kind of why he was here today, a sort of meeting/date with his fiancé, in order to set the record straight on finances, company-policies and what not, grown-up business stuff that has to be taken care of despite their love for one another.

He had lived long enough to know to always be careful as a wealthy businessman.

“Yeah, Dad was so proud of me, man!”

Of course…sometimes he wishes to that he could have just returned to that young adult naivety and relax.

Sure the college asian was far from the most spectacular looking guy, especially with those incredibly irresistible pastors he’d peeked online from the nearby camp, but the man at was still really handsome.

In his gamer-filled splendour, short simple cut and beady eyes, the engaged man wished it was already the bachelor’s party…so that he would have an excuse to be gushing over the mandarin E-Boi who walked up to him with a swagger.

An overwhelming cheekiness only further captured his heart, he didn’t even question why he felt so overly drawn to the guy, taking yet another whiff of that thick waft of sports cologne, invading his nostrils and his thoughts as he succumbed to its wearer.

“Eh Bro! You’ve gotta try this mocktail man…it’ll help you Hetfix and CHILL…!”

Sadly, despite being more than twice the size and weight of the other male, Jax Schmidt’s simply fell putty to the Asian E-boi’s recommendation, allowing the cheeky guy to usher him into the gamer bar.

Maybe he could get him interning at his company. Surely his partner wouldn’t mind some eye candy now and then.

All he had to do was find out his name…

“What’s the drink called?”

Of course, in his dazed stupor, he spotted the waiter bring over said drink in a cylindrical glass. Filled to the brim with translucent red liquid, and a huge milky settlement at the bottom, oddly bubbling and creamy flavouring.

At least he thought it was flavouring.

But its better to just find out himself, right? As the young man brought the drink to his palms, gently holding it, as he in turn placed his lips on the straw, finding out his destiny.

“Just Chillax, Noob…”

With such reassurance, the businessman suctioned in the liquid, tasting traces of raspberries and energy drinks alongside several other flavours that was mixed in the drink. However, there was one particular ingredient in which he absolutely adored.

The sweet and salty bubbling cream.

There wasn’t any alcohol in it…and yet he felt even more fogged up than one of his wine testing sessions. Like sweet and salty youthfulness combined into one, yet also exotic, oriental….and oddly familiar?

Almost as if he was drinking the zoomer’s se-

“Oh shyt…didn’t mix it well enough…”

Looking down at his drink, noticing he drink a considerable fifth or so of it. But notably being that the bubbling settlement being fully gone, leaving behind the raspberry soda energy drink as he placed it down on the table.

Laying back, an overwhelming dizziness surged within him like no other, as he struggled to glance at the asian man, who looked as sheepish as ever.

“Well…Have fun Brotha!”

With that, the college student gave him a good pat on the shoulder, and dashed off out of sight.

…

…What?

Did he scare him off? But he felt so…sluggish, so…lazy even. He didn’t feel like getting up, all he wanted to do was to just…

Just Chillax~

Grip, grip….

Laying back lazily on the couch, one hand gripping his privates shamelessly, mouth agape in its dazed-out stupor, not sparing his grown-up drool from dripping down as he gazed over on the messy coach.

Turning to his left, spotting an odd uncapped bottle nearly-identical to the one that zoomer had earlier. Alongside a bunch of plastic bags, a laptop and a really cool looking backpack.

…Wait…was this his stuff? Didn’t he have a suitcase filled with papers and…his laptop? Yeah in his backpack was his laptop, and he’d brought alongside a bunch of junk food in case he got hungry or something. It was quite irresponsible for him not to bring the physical copies of the agreements, but everything’s done digitally nowadays anyway right?

Just Chillax…

BZZT

Picking up the phone on his right, as he winced at the stickiness of it, as though it was slathered with fresh lotion…or maybe he had really sweaty palms just now. A familiar sweet and salty raspberry scent wafted around his nostrils as he brought his Cisdroid Pro up front.

Odd, he could’ve sworn he had a more liberal model…but a man like him had to always be up to date with technology right?

BLIP!

>Darling: Hey hun…sorry I’ll be sort of late, got an urgent call with a client

Mr Schmidt frowned.

For some reason, he felt kinda pissed at his fiancé’s message. Not out of punctuality or anything, he understood they were both busy men and had to jerk now and then but…

Jerk? He must be more annoyed than he thought.

Continually kneading his manhood, still frustrated and quite dry despite being pent. No eye candy and no fiancé to gush over, his re-igniting hormones desperately needed something to focus onto, right after responding back to-

‘Amung Os: Update finished’

Press…

His thumb instinctively pressed the notification, almost like a daily habit for the man as an iconic mobile game flashed into play, engulfing the whole screen as a flashy animation of the ‘Brothamates’ inside a spaceship blasted on the screen.

He normally doesn’t play games, but this one…felt different! Loosening his Windsor knot, he began to sink deeper in his seat, getting into the mood of relaxing, although his new office tie seemed to be much thinner…redder, and more plastic than it was before.

Whatever, he can complain to the tailor later right now he wanted to try-

Press-

“AMUGOS!”

“AMUGOS!”

Loud boisterous jeers came from the app, connecting to the other ‘Playahs’ as the lobby filled up in an instant, blasting as his earbuds popped right into both of his ears, giving him a full HD-sound definition of these Boiz.

Not sure when he got those red cheap elastic headphones, but its far less itchy than a stuffy old man’s tie.

Invigorating, smoothing out the wrinkles on his forehead. And man…was it igniting a fire in his sack, he might have just turned forty, but man listening to men like his young cheeky acquaintance Ben just makes him feel like a decade younger.

Wait…the college guy’s name was Ben? Did he manage to get his number just now? And the more important question, FORTY? Surely a Fag like him ain’t that THAT OLD! …Not saying its wrong or anything! But could’ve sworn he was just in his late thirties as a top-level manager.

Wait, did he just refer to himself as a f-?

-YOU ARE A FAGPOSTER-

The game began with a thunderous uproar, as his heart sank. Oh Shyt-! Like how Benjamin would slur. He was not immature…or at least THAT immature, but his mind instantly reeled at the term used to describe his given role in the game…

He definitely should be more angry and upset that the game had such used such a term, but spending time with Ben really made him…Just Chillax about it.

Its just ‘shyt talk’ between bros after all, sure there’s abit of aggression, but there’s nothing gay about it!

Wait a minute…

“Pink’s Butt-Peach looking kinda sus.”

“Yeah DAMN, like a woman’s!”

“Got any girl gamers in our group?”

Joax flushed, literally pink out of embarrassment as he continued to edge himself further, and further. Palms de-matured themselves onward. Wrinkled skin smoothening out to fresh palms and nimble fingers, built for fast reflexes. Like gaming!

His buddy Benjamin said he could be really great at it after all. Heh! Maybe he had a chance! For a quick release.

“…I’m a guy..-“

“GAY!”

“HOMO!”

“FAGPOSTER!!!!”

Almost immediately, every other player unanimously voted for the gay dude, sending him out of the Brothaship.

YOU LOSE FAG, TRY AGAIN! 10, 9, 8….

An obnoxious pop-up air-horned right up in his ear-drums, heart-pumpin’ yet still makes his D-throbbin’. Startled, yet Ironically snapping the man more outta his dazed state.

“Ugh…shyyyyt! I’ll win the next one…!”

The middle-manager slurred, grinning. It honestly felt good speakin’ like that. His bud Benjamin was right! Office life can be such a drag sometimes. But being around all these zoomin’ college boiz really refreshes your system.

Slouching his back, screwin’ his posture like what some older dudes like tellin’ him. Spinal chord contracting something whatever! He is already sorta above 6ft…which was kinda a weird flex but made him stand out for the wrong reasons.

His complexion tho, the rumours around camp christening were TRU! Spending time around those asians does ‘orientate’ your body!

Peachiness melting into a more light-tanned tone down his fingers. Was he part asian? That made sense! The interns told him so! And they were right! They were sooo meant for gaming! It was just like him!

Man was it worth skipping his duties to spend time with those interns. Playing mobile games on their phone and yelling a lot was his JAM, simple but ‘Duckin Ez’ as the young college men kept growling.

And therefore it should be simple enough to win…

-AMUNG OS!-

“Heheh…Amugos…Os…”

Rekindling grunts, sophistication giving way to stupidity as buttons began fusing in the middle, collar reattaching to the outer layer to form a more trendy outlook.

Silk giving away to a rougher, stereotypical material, pants tightening alongside his constricted thighs, as his belly sunk down towards a gut for a more Chillax approach to his diet.

Besides, his mouth craved for more memes, mindless lingo like the rest of them-

Message from BF dude

>’Still having a call, have to do a bunch more work all of a sudden…’

…Wait, he had a BF?

Squinting his eyes narrower than his growing heritage. Thought he was…single? Scrunching his nose, a single backward thought echoed in his mind.

‘Kinda gay ngl.’

Degrading like carbon, the ring over on his finger lost its sheen, replaced by simple yet exaggerated cheapness, mass produced from a convention downtown.

…Yet something stuck out, no homo but a signature from the game developer stuck at the edge of the ring.

“Fell dudez LIT!”

“Oi magenta, dis here’s AMUGOS! Not Fell Dudes!”

W….Oh yeah! The game started didn’t it?

“Sorry Man…duckin’ dry AF!”

He spoke, with the widest grin. He definitely got their lingo right. He practiced long with his good bud Benjamin after all, being his favourite sorta-nephew as a family friend to them.

The boomers doing business with him were such sleepers, but Ben? The dude’s cruisin’ HetTube career at his age! He always watched his streams, and likewise so did he.

That’s how they’re so LIT! Sorry but NOT sorry NOOBS! Only Fags apologise in Amung Os!

…

WAIT-!

“SORRY? Brotha you got LIGMA?”

“NO I’VE-“

“LIGMA BALLZ!”

-YOU ARE A FAGPOSTER-

“DUCKIN SHYT!”

Kicking his footwear out into the sky, as they simply flew and shrunk, turning from office to cheap muddy sneakers. THUNK! Laying messily onto the floor, taking ownership like he owned the place.

Lyin’ down irritatedly, his body took up the entire sofa length as his head plopped on his backpack. Kickin’ back his legs as they rested on the opposite side with inconsiderate defiance.

5ft 11 since forever, bein’ the right height for him, nothin’ too extra. One less thing to complain about unlike THIS OLD GEEZER!

If a crusty guy like him wants to run TWO companies he can just SUCK IT! But dragging his twenty eight year old first-line manager to help out is SUCH A PAIN!

And yeah he’s rude, its THE META!

“Doesn’t he know I give a rats azz bout’ business?”

“You VENTING Bro? Acting real gay!”

“NO IM RAGING YOU NOOBS-!”

The game auto-continued itself once again, gripping his, abet less thick, groin controller both physically and addictively as his mixed/mostly Chinese face filled with reddish frustration.

“SHADDUP FAG! UR SUS”

Greyish Blue is a FAGPOSTER

GET REKT FAG, TRY AGAIN? 6, 9,

‘Call from FAG SIMP’

“WHAT?!”

At this point, the mid twenties Gen Z’er was pissed. 9 inch Pent, yet continually getting rubbed off the wrong way downward to 8. He felt his buttocks cringe at the reminder that this FAG SIMP was his superior.

“…Hey, I’m on my way in a couple of minutes, hope you didn’t wait too long-?”

“You CALLED me cause of THAT?”

He was just one of the DUCKIN’ team leaders, why can’t he bother one of his Brothas?

Didn’t he made it clear he couldn’t care less bout’ work? Socks springing OUT of his feet, those bare size 8s stuck out with public disregard. College backpack filled with his gamer-ware laptop, snacks cause and the latest game consoles cause WHY NOT?

He couldn’t give a RATZ AZZ!

If its some sports maybe, he did play basketball and soccer sometimes, hence why his legs are so kick-ass! Tight strong lean muscle wrapped by your every-boi Jeans. EZ and simple, nothin’ too complex.

What was he? Some FAT-AZZ? He was a BIG PRO, but his snack and soda abdominals said otherwise. Defining a faint, yet prominent outline down from his developing pectorals. A naturally given wide back, and ironically thick arms with sufficient bicep power to compete in those arm wrestling matches with Da BOIZ.

Yeah that bit ain’t online, SO WHAT? WHO CARES-?

“I…I just thought you might care Mr Schangit…”

“You think I give a flying DUCK dude? ONLY FAGS CARE HAHA!”

BEEP!

His voice crunched into his octave, losing all sense of humility as he gave into that oriental Fucc Boi call with absolute immersion.

Especially since he is just an ‘underpaid’ first-line manager. Even though he did get paid quite well but anythin’ lesser than his streamin’ career is GHEEEEEEY! He didn’t really do nothing except play games, eat snacks and watch HetTube at work though.

MIGHT AS WELL BE INTERN HAHA!

For Laughing out loud, vanilla patterns lunged all over his darkened shirt and jacket, forming cool patterns and a suitable style onto his graphic tee. Plastering an iconic sports logo over on his right and lines down his shoulders, front and back, it finally took on his final form as a fitting sports Puffer Jacket for a cool dude like him.

And a COOL DUDE like him has to WIN, STAT!

In order to destress himself, to get the ‘game release’ he so desired, even if meant to stooping down to their…HIS LEVEL!

“ANY AMUGOS IN DA HOUSE BOIZ?”

Hair sizzled at the back and sides, painted jet black as small fringe rested overto the right of his forehead. Round and moderately sized, as he got bathed in his Chinese ethnicity through and through.

No one questionin’ his LIT BIOLOGY! FULL ON CHINESE MUTHAFUCKA!

“AMUGOS!”

“YEEE AMUGOS!”

“AMUGOSSSS!”

Jonax initiated the chorus of aggressive stupidity. Mindless hollering over that idiotic catchphrase like he and all the other zoomers do throughout the day just cause its the newest trendy thing on the webz. Joining with his tribe, whaling on and on.

But SO WHAT?

If anything, he was with DA IN-CROWD. Unlike those Faggy Simps who he CAN’T STOP THINKIN’ ABOUT! Especially looking at Pink’s Peach Cheeks, MAN IF ONLY IT WAS A WOMAN!

HE WOULD CLAP DAT!

But SHYT! It was clear that it was a dude….he didn’t say AMUGOS! Butt CRINGE! Solid upgrade to a narrow ventless fortress where only hot chicks would be allowed in, specially like that Princess chick from that other game.

WTF! PINK’S VENTIN’

He is so HARD! But it DUCKIN’ pisses him off even more that he got OWNED so many times by those FAGPOSTERS…wait wasn’t he-DUCK NO HE WASN’T-!

“OI BROTHAS, PINK’S A FAG!”

“W..What? I’m new.”

Grinning widely, his chin seared off any traces of facial hair, revealing the clear mischievous nastiness of the Pro Gamer, natural behaviour. No effort, MUCH WIN LOL!

“HAHA NEW! FAG!”

“DUCKIN FAG!”

“FAGGGGGGG!”

Two studs pierced the sides of his earlobes, labelling him zoomer sixty and zoomer nine. Inches defining as a prominent average depth 7, MAKING HIM A COMPLETE JERK HAHA!

“Sorry ugh…dude you’re being really ho-”

“SORRY DEEZ NUTS!

Pink was voted

Voted

Voted

…

Pink was a FAGPOSTER

BROTHAMATE VICTORY, LITTTTTTT

Course it was simple, that’s what he always did to win. It was the ducking meta! Yell and the noobs GET REKT. That was why he was a PRO at this game!

He had ALWAYS WON, specially as one of the brothamates, course-why would he be a FAGPOSTER?

Furrowing dark brows, he grinned a cheeky grin as his eyes rested in their narrow-splendor. Straight small pupils built for a hardcore rude gamer that didn’t take or give any shyt but winning, even if those adults called him a total ZOOMER for it.

And just for them, like the clap back remark he yelled earlier-

“GOTTEM!”

With that obnoxious proclamation, Jonah Shang blasted over and over without remorse or care, putting down his phone as he sloppily collected whatever milky testosterone he could with the bottle.

He might have missed a bit during his climax, but who gives a shyt? HE WAS LOADED! In dollars, popularity and in Streamin’ Come. If anything-they should be THANKING him and his Boiz for popularising the game so much, especially with how many desperate simps got converted after the initial release.

Giving a pat to his controller, the freshly sprayed E-Boi gave a thumbs up to the waiter, who quickly picked up his bottle and returned back to kitchen to do whatever with the chefs.

What was he? Gay? It was his Saturday and he truly couldn’t give a shyt bout’ anything aside from gaming, fun and CHILLAXIN’.

“Ahh…So lit…”

Slacking backwards, the hormonal twenty-one year old heaved a satisfied sigh. Proud to be one of the Bois in camp christening, part of his fellowship fam with his rival and younger cousin Ben, or as he calls himself, Bro-Jammin’.

Despite being close as DUCK, the two of them were always in a heated battle in game, trying to OUTFAG one up one another in the various games as competitive rivals with no end.

He could almost just taste his cousin’s salt once Ben finds out he had raked out more wins in Fell Dudes.

“Heh, Madge.”

With more games coming out each day, it meant more scores for BigProJonah to whoop in record time. More 100% completions to complete. Something he always made sure to not let his cousin get the upper edge, considering he had the BOSS rank, and is a leader of the Camp Christening gaming Ciscord group.

It was close though, if he hadn’t played those hundred games in Amung Os just now for the daily bonus points, he could’ve gotten OUTFAGGED by his cousin in the group! and that would be LAME AF!

BOP! BOP!

Though speaking of bosses…

Turning to the left, he spotted his caller looking all frantic and panicky at the counter of the shop, poking his head out as if he couldn’t recognise one of the ‘famous Shang men’ just by presence alone.

Noob.

Taking in a deep breath, hollering at the top of his lungs-

“SUUUUUP! MAN-GAY-GER, WAZZUP!”

Startled, the bespectacled man turned to his direction, pausing momentarily before walking towards him. Squinting his eyes, trying to figure out who was the loudmouthed jerk that called out to him, attempting to rationalise…who he was going to meet up just now.

Puzzling, surely it cannot be this incredibly rude…rudely handsome intern in which he employed many months ago.

Blinking, the older male then blushed, fiddling around the plastic replica ring over on his middle digit, something he got for himself at the recent convention to match his intern’s.

Kinda sus tbh, but as long as he keeps it hidden, it wouldn’t cause one of the twenty-two year old’s infamous mood-swings.

“Its boss…Mr Shang.”

“Yeah yeah whatever, Man-GAY-ger, just sit already.”

The older male ignored that remark…well he tried to, as he struggled to keep his ‘membership’ sandwiched between his legs, putting down his bags on the right side of the couch and-

“Was here first. No cap!”

The E-Boi pointed at the plastic chair in front, forcing the older male to squeeze in the small chair uncomfortably despite being so huge.

Jonah smirked, a hundred times he would’ve preferred a sugar mommah instead of this giant tubby dude…but getting to slack all day at work and still get an A is LIT!

Plus picking on an older fag always gets him thrilled like no other. As long as he does not ask for favours, or he’s gonna yell NO HOMO!

Speaking of which…

“Yo dude, you looking thirsty AF. Get a drink or something.”

His manager blushed further…and all the plus points being said, Jonah still could not stand all the gawking looks from the guy. How the heck can his fellowship stand shyt like this almost every minute?

The cologne may be great and all, but sheesh if only he was allowed to score chicks…instead of D-

“What should I order?”

“Ughhhhh….come on!”

Jonah Shang groaned, slumping back on the couch in rebellious impatience.

No way was he going to bother with this boring internship shyt when he could be at AMUNG OS WITH DA BOIZ! And it won’t be long until his cous’ ‘OUT-WHALES’ him in that new princess game which just came out.

DUCK NO! He ain’t taking the ‘L’ over something stupid like this! Plus at this rate, he might even miss his ‘prayer time’ with that gal he met in-game…and that would be NOT LIT.

Fiddling with his straw, he had to think of something to cut this ‘meeting’ short! But his stupid boss is already asking noob questions like that kind of drink he should have! Doesn’t that dude know that the thirst meta is…

…!

The Chinese Zoomer grinned, hastily sat-up and held his cylindrical glass of raspberry energy-drink soda.

“Just CHILLAX, Noob!”

[itssleepyrabbit]

hi! wow i super love your art and i don’t have enough dabihawks in my life 🥺 was wondering if you had any fic recs for them?? 💕💕

aah thank you so much!! 💕💕 💕💕

BOY IF I DO HAVE!! alright buckle up this might get long (most are fluff and SFW~ i’ll put a NSFW warning but be sure to look at tags in all of them!!)

Bed I made (lie in it with me) by  silverwordswrites

“Touya is in desperate need of a plus-one for his brother's wedding and Keigo is infinitely curious about the man who he was sure used to hate him in college.” 

-- the summary says everything and honestly it’s one of the most romatics dabihawks fics i’ve read.

On-going

He Doesn't Love Me by  Fatally

“Dabi doesn't love him. He's accepted that thorny truth, swallowed it down and let briars grow in his chest, drinking down his blood like water.Or: The one in which Hawks settles for pining for his entire life and doesn't realize Dabi's been staring at him the entire time, too.” 

-- I love pinning Hawks with a burning passion.

Completed

sweetheart, is that you? by  fuckendeavor666

“dabi and hawks say i love you (without actually saying i love you) in five different ways.“ 

-- This is my absolute fave dabihawks fic

Completed

Deck the Halls With Boughs of Folly by  DrAphra

“In which the League has acquired a new fancy mansion -with all the heating and food and plush beds they could possibly need - but they still prefer to spend the day out in the wilderness with just each other. Plus Hawks.“ 

-- Honestly all Aphra’s dabihawks fics are more than worth it but this one has a special place on my heart.

Completed

fuck, im so young - orphaned

“Todoroki Touya writes poems.

Words upon words of heartfelt confessions, letters of sing song fantasies, syllables of feelings he never got to say out loud.

When Todoroki Touya hits sixteen, he burns himself to death.

When Dabi hits twenty four-

He meets Hawks.” 

-- i don’t know how to explain but this fic it’s pretty

Completed

Feathers and Feelings by  Toboe1087

“Hawks keeps leaving feathers on his pillow, and Dabi's about had it.

(like hell he'd let anyone else have them, though)”

-- Dabi preening Hawks feathers is a blessing

Complete

(this is not a) swan song by  bittermoons

“"Who's your favorite, then?"

"Hawks." Touya doesn't miss a beat. "Definitely Hawks."

"What? Seriously? How come?"

"He has his flaws, but at the end of the day, he's trying to do good. It's something he always strives for. Dabi, on the other hand...if it weren't for Hawks, he wouldn't be a hero, that's for sure."

[Or: How a secret is revealed, and what comes afterwards.]”

-- Adorable no quirks AU with manga artist Touya and oblivious Keigo! Another author i adore pretty much all dabihawks works.

Completed

You can't trap the sky in a bottle by thyandra

“Letting Toga organize the accommodations for their trip might have been a mistake. This particular truth becomes obvious to Keigo as he opens the door of his hotel room for the first time. There, staring back at him mockingly, is a single, king-sized bed. It’s only by virtue of all the years spent perfecting his poker face around his adoptive parents, that he manages to keep his face straight. At his side, Touya clicks his tongue. “They must’ve given us the wrong key.””

--(no quirks AU) I really love they way Dabi and Hawks are written here i can’t express it in words and so so much pinning

Completed

A Tale as Old as Time by  EloFromMars, Gotcocomilk

“Dabi and Hawks are hit by the most improbable Quirk: both are yeeted in Fairytales land and have to rely on each other to get out of this.“

-- this was such a fun read omg

Completed

A Romance Written All Over Your Body by  minatsukinoamayo

//NSFW mind the tags!//

“Hawks is assigned to infiltrate the League of Villains in order to expose them. Hawks usually never fails a mission, but Keigo usually never falls in love, either.A story of how Hawks falls from grace to become a villain, because hero society has failed them all.

OR

5 times they're not in a relationship and 1 time they are.“

-- you know those fics you say “one more chapter” and it’s 3AM

Completed

it caught spark in your eyes by  youareoldfatherwilliam

//Mature - Implied Sexual Content//

“Keigo’s quirk is powerful, but sometimes it comes with unintended side effects.

Or: A 5 + 1 fic of five times the more…instinctively bird-like parts of Keigo’s quirk took over accidentally during his relationship with Dabi, and one time it happened entirely on purpose.“

-- I was screaming about this particular fic on twt the other day pls give it a read if you can it’s so so so good! Any fic that has Hawks with bird traits has a special place on my heart

Completed

The Others by  threesipsmore

//Mature - 2 sexual scenes, nothing too explicit but they’re there//

“"Skeptic's starting to think he’s more important than me,” Toga sneers, an acidic edge to her voice. “Making decisions on his own, sending out birdie without even talking to me first.”

She’d simply acquiesced to cooperating with Skeptic, but from day one the complaints had never stopped. In this tiny room layered with sushi and cakes, Dabi was forced to listen to her whining.”

-- You go birb, you get that man

Completed

Equivalent Exchange by  inexchangeforyoursoul

“Keigo blinks the blurry oblivion away from his eyes, although some part of it is oddly stubborn and to stay indefinitely. There's three things he's certain of: first, he’s alive. Second, just by looking at the bed and windows he can tell this is no villain hospital or torture room. Third: something feels wrong. Very wrong.

The silence… is deafening.

xxx

To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.

If so, what of a bird that has lost its wings?”

-- i had so many feelings reading i can’t physically explain them to you also PINK HAIR DABI PINK HAIR DABI

Completed

dabi's 5-step guide to being a better parent than endeavor by  twinkfrankenstein (orphan_account)

“A little voice inside his head whispered spitefully about how this was no place for a child, and how he was making a mistake and would only traumatize the kid, yada yada. He responded with an equally spiteful-

“Fuck off, its not like I planned to do arson today.”

(or: how Dabi becomes a good dad just to spite his own, realizes he kinda sorta maybe likes Hawks for realsies, begrudgingly admits the League cares and finally comes to terms with his protective side. Not in that order.)“

-- this legit made me laught out loud idk what else tell you

Completed

The Todoroki In-Laws by  aphrodaisyacs

“Over 10 years after the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front, Rumi, aka the part-time hero Miruko and the proud wife of one Todoroki Fuyumi, decides it would be an awesome idea to create a groupchat with the significant others of the other Todoroki siblings.

Maybe things would be easier if its members weren’t two Pro Heroes, a former one and a rehabilitated villain, but…Honestly, where’s the fun in that?”

-- this is not dabihawks focused but it’s so funny pls

Completed

With Being Petty Comes Consequences by  CursedUndead

“"When we were saying fuck pro heroes, I didn't think you literally meant FUCK them," Tomura grumbles, kicking over an empty beer can.

"Pretty judgmental for someone fucking a pro twice their age," Touya says.

Tomura squints, and says, "Ten years is not twice my age."

Or, after spending Enji's money, Touya is forced to babysit for the number 2 hero to pay him back. Touya makes it his life's mission to fuck his new boss.”

-- this only has 4 chapters but i know it’s going to be one of my faves

On-going

The Truth series by  AmethystUnarmed

-- Hawks gets hit with a truth quirk and starts to be actually free by the power of love, friendship and a bit of crime <3

The last entry is on-going

and if we sit and count it up it's really not a lot by  sincerelysamedt

“Hawks finds a bento box in his messenger bag and almost cries.

"Is that a loving wife bento?"“

-- please PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD READ THIS ONE /sobbing noises/

Completed

steal your heart by  darlingest

//Mature//

“When infamous thief Hawks announces that he is going to steal the heart of Endeavor's son, everyone expects him to prey on Shoto Todoroki - nobody suspects Touya to be the actual target.“

-- Villain Hawks and civilian Dabi are my guilty pleasure and this one it’s so soft too i’m- djsahfdjkfhadf

Completed

darling, thank god it’s this universe we’re in (and you can annoy me as much as you please) by  juurensha

“ Todoroki Rei divorces Endeavor and moves all four of her children into a small apartment next to a boy with wings as red as the hair of her eldest son. “

-- This was one of the first dabihawks fics i ever read and, to this day, i come back to it when i feel i need the extra burst in happy feelings and check their other works too! Honestly all are such a good fucking read

Completed

[queen--kenobi]

Oh my gosh! Congrats on the followers. You deserve all of that and more. 🥰 Just took some time to skim the prompts and two really stuck out to me so I'm gonna give you both and see if either resonates with you or sparks an idea. So I have 50) "My ex is getting married, I just got the invitation." "Want me to fuck you in front of them at their wedding, remind them that letting you go was a mistake?" with HAC Boba OR the soft prompt of "I know it's 2am, but do you want to..." with College Fives? Again, congrats and hope you have a wonderful week. 😘

Persephone's 1.5 K celebration’

jglsjfl Both of these inspired me!!! I'm gonna do the Fives one for a change of pace! I might circle back around to the Boba one, honestly

"I know it's 2 am, but do you want to..." with College AU Fives x gn!reader

Warnings: Talks of marriage, but that’s really it

“You’re hot.” One of your legs is sticking out from under the cheap covers, yet the warmth radiating from your space heater of a boyfriend is still too much.

“It’s because I work out.” Fives smiles into the back of your head. It takes you a moment to register what he means by that. You swat uselessly at his arm, which makes him laugh. “Come on, you’ve seen my abs. You know those are my best feature.”

“I thought you’d say your arms, Mr. I-bench-555-pounds.” The sheets rustle as you reach around and poke him in the side. He lets out an exaggerated yelp. “Oh hush.”

“You hurt me.” He has the audacity to whimper. The cheap dorm bed creaks as you roll over to face him. He’s clearly not hurt in the slightest, his barely concealed grin giving him away. You narrow your eyes at him, unconvinced, before poking him in the side again. Fives let out an even more exaggerated yelp. You try not to, you really do, but you can’t help the small giggles that escape you.

“Oh, so not only did you hurt me, you’re laughing at the fact you hurt me?” If you weren’t wrapped up in his arms, he would have slapped his chest.

“Yes.”

“You’re a cruel partner, you know that?” When you lean forward to kiss his nose, he throws his head back and away so you can’t. Fives flicks his eyes down to look at you. The warmth and sheer adoration in his expression causes a slow smile to creep across your face. Something warm in your stomach flutters. It’s the same warmth that makes you laugh at a joke that’s only somewhat funny. It’s the same feeling that you get when he stares at his textbooks, brow furrow in a way you’re pretty sure you only find adorable. It’s the same sensation that makes you want to hold his face and kiss him as hard as you can.

God.

Being this in love is scary. It's not a fear of rejection. You know he loves you; he knows you love him. The two of you aren't exactly shy with your affections. Fives likes to almost make it a game. Once or twice he's burst into song declaring how much he loves you.

No, what's scary is the sheer depth of your love for him.

Fives is your world. He’s your rock, your best friend, your everything. Three years ago, that would have been inconceivable. The two of you could barely be in the same classroom. Now, here you are, sleeping in the same bed as him. No sex, no drugs, no alcohol involved in this decision. The only factor was simply that you wanted to see him, to be close to him.

It continually blows you away how he feels the same.

It’s obvious he does. Every little gesture, from bringing you your favorite off-campus food when you’ve had a shit day to working with you on a paper, lets you know that. He adores you. Several members of Torrent company have asked him when he’ll just ask to marry you. He’s shared each time with you, and it’s been fun teasing his fraternity brothers back.

You’re pretty sure there was a fight one day about who would get to be in the groom’s party. The only answer everyone agreed with was that Echo had to be the best man. One night while drunk Fives had even confirmed as much, confessing that he’d do whatever it took to make sure that Echo could be there.

“I know it’s 2 am,” Fives begins. You look up at him. His tongue darts out to lick his lips. “But do you want to...”

He trails off for a second. You huff softly.

“I swear, if you ask me if I want to play video games, I'll-"

“Do you want to get married?” He interrupts you.

Oh.

“It’s fine if you don’t.” He’s quick to blurt out. You must have been silent too long, trying to wrap your head around what he just asked. “I know this is the wrong time to ask, and I probably should have just kept my mou-”

It’s your turn to interrupt him. You nearly lunge forward to capture his lips with yours. Fives freezes for a second before melting into the kiss. He pulls you closer, nearly squeezing you as hard as he can as he tries to pull you as humanly close to him as possible.

“Yes.” You breathe when you pull away. “I do. Not... Not tonight. I think your brothers would be mad if we eloped, but... I do want to get married.” You pause before giggling. "I'm not even sure we could find someone willing to do it this late."

Fives brow crinkles at the mention of his brothers.

“Shit, I totally forgot. I was going to have Jesse and Kix help me with the proposal.” He dips his head down to bury his face in your clavicle. “I also told Echo I wouldn’t be impulsive about it.”

“Jesse and Kix?” You raise an eyebrow. “You were really going to do something romantic, huh.”

“I was.” He confirms. His goatee tickles as he nods his head.

“You can still do it.” Absentmindedly, you rub a circle on his back. “I’ll act all surprised and like I haven’t already said yes.”

“I knew I loved you for a reason!” He starts smothering you in kisses, making you laugh despite your best efforts.

If Kix and Jesse don't buy your surprise when Fives drops down on one knee a couple weeks later, neither of them say anything. You're pretty sure no one in Torrent buys it, but that doesn't matter. Not when Fives is yours, and you're his.

Tags: @darkrisedivine @ashotofspotchka @milf-obi-wan-kenobi @k-the-enkryptid @aerynwrites @galacticgraffiti @thefact0rygirl @book-of-baba-fett

[majorshatterandhare]

Okay, so, for @cultralcryptid and @shortassdood, who asked for general recs… uh, I’m gonna list them out, then do a “read more” and put my notes for each there. I think the majority of these musicians/bands are pretty popular so, IDK that you'll see much you haven't heard of but, I was asked so I am providing. Also this has taken so long because I was trying not to make it ridiculously long! This doesn't focus on concept albums, although I have made notes where artists mentioned have made concept albums. I personally struggle to consume new-to-me media so I haven't necessarily listened to the concept albums but figured that may well be what y'all are interested in so I included that.

-Spose -.Jxck -The Mallett Brothers Band -Jonathan Coulton -No More Kings -Phish -the Grateful Dead -Pink Floyd -Cake -Say Anything -Kimya Dawson -Jeffrey Lewis -AJJ -Dorian Electra -Those Poor Bastards -Ska (specifically Streetlight Manifesto) -WtNV weathers

I'm gonna preface this by saying five things: 1) I don't listen to a lot of *new* music, honestly the Mechs are some of the newest music I listen to, even of the artists I listed who have newer music, I am often not familiar with recent stuff. Which leads me into 2) I am not familiar with the entire discographies of any artist listed here, let alone the entirety of the (third wave) ska genre or every single Night Vale weather. 3) Related to point two, I am not familiar with the reputation of every artist mentioned, sorry if anyone is a shitty person. I know there are a few who have, for example said certain words in certain songs that I am not fond of, but all things considered I like their music enough as a whole to ignore things like that, especially because many of these were recorded anywhere from 20 to 50 years ago. 4) Some of this music might make you uncomfortable because of the topics, you can figure that out yourself. I'm giving a *lot* of suggestions here so there will be plenty that doesn't and I have some specific warnings for some of the music, but uhhhh, if you're seeing this you listen to the Mechs, so I'm sure you can at least handle enough to figure out what you don't want to listen to. 5) Related to points 1 and 3, my music taste tends to lean pre-approximately-2010. I grew up listening to classic rock and 90s alternative and grunge because that's what my parents listen/ed to.

Local Music I figure if I'm going to be recommending music I might as well recommend some from my state. This is the music you are least likely to have heard.

Spose -From southern Maine -Rap, alternative hip hop, underground hip hop -I'm only aware of because my college roommate from California likes his stuff -Most popular song is I'm Awesome which is fun, but is one of those songs that gets a little annoying when you've heard his other stuff. Got national radio play IIRC though. -I would recommend the songs We All Got Lost and Alien -I've seen him live twice (summer 2022) and talked to him after and he's a really nice guy! -His name is Ryan and his most recent album is called Get Rich or Die Ryan and its two CDs. -If you wanna just hear a bunch of Maine shit, Loon Song

.Jxck -pronounced like the name Jack [for screenreaders: spelled *period* J-X-C-K] -Also from southern Maine -Similar music style to Spose, although less comedy I think, although he has some jazzier stuff that's *really* good that he said he was gonna be releasing a new album of last time I saw him perform (summer 2022), which has not been released yet. -Both times I saw Spose play .Jxck opened for and played with him. -Have spoken with him and he is also very nice! -Most recent album is called Beautiful Day

The Mallett Brothers Band -I know even less about this band than the other musicians in this section, but they are "an independent rock and roll / Americana / country band" -Two of them are the sons of David Mallett who is also a musician from Maine. He does folk.

Nerd Music Do you like Weird Al or Hank Green or They Might Be Giants or the Barenaked Ladies?

Jonathan Coulton -Wrote Still Alive and Want You Gone from Portal and Portal 2, respectively. -Has a song called Artificial Heart about a guy getting his heart replaced -Has a song called I'm Your Moon, which is from Charon to Pluto -Also: Re: Your Brains; Future Soon; Shop Vac; Mandelbrot Set; I Crush Everything; and more -Huge discography

No More Kings -Named after a School House Rock song -Have three distinct songs about zombies (Zombie Me, The Living Dead, and They're Coming to Get You Barbara) -Have at least two songs about DnD (Enter the Dragon and Critical Hit) -Reference pop culture a lot: Sweep the Leg (the Karate Kid), Leaving Lilliput (Gulliver's Travels), Robots Don't Cry (Short Circuit), and more. -Only three albums

Drugs Music (affectionate) IDK how to describe this. Bands that have a particular reputation for having fans who enjoy getting high. You don't have to be high or enjoy getting high to like this music though. Seems to lean towards long-ish songs. (Looked it up, what I mean is probably "psychedelic rock" but I'm gonna stick with "drugs music")

Phish -Huge discography -Not that we all have wildly different tastes, but at least four of the five people of my immediate family (myself included), like Phish, and I wouldn't be surprised if the fifth does too. -"Jam" style music, so there's some repetitive parts but there's a lot of layering and slowly shifting of each part into something new. -My two favorites by them right now are Bouncing Around the Room (about being high I guess?) and Bathtub Gin (about... making bathtub gin, which is homemade alcohol, and just, they say some insane shit and there's a "Joker"). Both are from the album Lawn Boy. -Just, the music is cool??? Listen to Bathtub Gin, the music is cool the lyrics are cool. (Someone sneezes multiple times, as part of the music I'm sure but... sneeze.) -The lead singers voice is really nice -The other Phish songs I have downloaded to my phone are Guelah Papyrus (about a spider), Farmhouse (about... a farmhouse, and being able to see the stars, and how much cluster flies suck ass), Sample in a Jar (about... being a sample? I think, definitely from the pov of being high), and Wolfman's Brother (what it says on the tin?). -Rolling Stone named them the most important band of the 90s in 1998, if that means anything to you -They were very inspired by the Grateful Dead. As such they allow people to record and disperse the audio of their concerts (if I understand correctly). -The band is from Vermont! -Rift is a concept album

The Grateful Dead -I know less about the Grateful Dead but I don't think I can really recommend Phish without recommending the Grateful Dead as well. -I *highly* recommending going to see a Grateful Dead tribute/cover band perform live. It's a great experience. The music is great, the environment is great, and you will almost certainly see some older folks dancing to the music they did when they were in their 20s and hippies and whatever. It's just really good. -Don't have a lot of specific song recs since most of my experience with them is in the form of the tribute/cover band live performance. -They are the ones with the colorful bears.

Pink Floyd -Feel like this section is me just recommending bands that everyone already knows, but like, how much do you actually know of Pink Floyd's stuff? Or maybe this will just be a reminder to go listen to it again! And its hard for me to judge what is typical for other people to be familiar with because I am *very* aware that my childhood media consumption was atypical. -They have SIX [all caps reads: six] concept albums! Six! I think the Wall is the one everyone knows is a concept album, since there was a movie made of it and its the album that Another Brick in the Wall and Comfortably Numb are both from. However the Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here, Animals, The Final Cut, and The Division Bell are all *also* concept albums, if that's your thing -If concept albums aren't your thing, they have nine other albums! -Re: Wish You Were Here. It is very much about former member Syd Barrett and the album is mostly Shine On You Crazy Diamond parts 1-9, which are split 1-5 and 6-9, but if you total their length it's 26 minutes long. In between the two parts is three other songs, including the titular Wish You Were Here, which I do adore. -Also just. Us and Them

Other rock genres I guess?

Cake -I feel like Cake and the Barenaked Ladies go together but maybe that's just me. They're also... funny? I guess? in they're music. But Cake is still like... more... normal...??? IDK how to describe it. -Everyone knows Short Skirt/Long Jacket. I feel like maybe their second most known song is The Distance, but I don't know that for a fact. -My favorite Cake song, atm, is Comissioning a Symphony in C from the album Comfort Eagle. Short Skirt/Long Jacket is also on this album. -Fashion Nugget is also quite a good album, The Distance is on this album -They did a cover of I Will Survive and I was 15 years old the first time I heard the original. I don't remember hearing the Cake version for the first time. I remember being in gym class and for some reason we were suggesting music for the teacher to play through the speakers and I said Cake and he liked Cake a lot so he put Cake on and I Will Survive played and this girl in the class got surprisingly mad about this cover! They say fuck in it though so.... -Their album art is really cool and most if not all of them are in basically the same art style and I like that. -Lead singer also has a particularly nice voice.

Say Anything -Honestly, most of what I know by say anything is ...Is a Real Boy, and even from that it's mostly Alive With the Glory of Love, but the song is really fucking good! It is based on the story of Max Bemis' grandparents meeting during WWII though... and they were Jewish... so uh, its got some themes! Its a banger though. -The second song I really like by Say Anything is Wow I Can Get Sexual Too, which, as you might imagine, is quite sexual, so, you've been warned. It's very funny though. -Their album In Defense of the Genre is a concept album. I don't know much about it, but there you go, concept album.

Folk/Anti-Folk

Kimya Dawson -I think Kimya Dawson is really popular? It's hard for me to tell these kinds of things -Their music was pretty heavily featured in the movie Juno, because Elliot page was asked what music he thought Juno would listen to and he said Kimya Dawson. -The album I listen to most is Remember That I Love You. I know all of the words to the majority of the songs and the majority of the words to the rest. One thing I do when I can't sleep it try to remember all the lyrics to music and that album is a pretty common one for me to use. -I really really feel My Mom. And Caving In. And I Miss You. And Loose Lips. And The Competition. -And I can't *not* mention Thunder Thighs! --If you need to cry and can't, I recommend Walk Like Thunder. --The Mare and the Bear is a children's song! With children on the track! --Quite possibly my favorite Kimya Dawson quote is "Try to walk like thunder leaving footprints that are light" which is from the song Driving Driving Driving -I was attracted to their music because while they sing very well for sure! their voice isn't perfect and I really like that. You don't get to hear that often from their type of voice. -They were also part of the duo The Moldy Peaches, which I'm not super familiar with, but is the same genre.

Jeffrey Lewis -large discography -songs tend to be... morbid? -I recommend Whistle Past the Graveyard (I accidentally have developed a collection of zombie songs....) and East River and Back When I Was Four -Also the pair Last Time I Did Acid I Went Insane (about his shit experience with LSD) and LSD Tonight (about how people took the last song to mean that they should offer him and pressure him to do LSD when that was the opposite of what the song meant!) -Kimya Dawson and Jeffrey Lewis also did some music together. AJJ -Again I feel like if you listen to anti-folk (or whatever) you're probably aware of AJJ??? -Their name wasn't always AJJ but they changed it sometime a few years ago. -Decent to large discography (depending on what exactly you do and don't count) -The majority of their music that I listen to is from the album People Who Can Eat People Are the Luckiest People in the World. -Their song Children of God was a WtNV weather and I think Mechs fans might like that one in particular. It's kind of just a lot of words. Like so many words that give you vibes but are a bit more difficult to take meaning from, but like; "the sky was full of teeth;" cannibals mentioned; "in a puddle of body parts / inside a bowl of angel hearts / that the children were eating;" vampires mentioned; "and out the corner of my eye / coming out from the teeth filled sky / with eyes as red as a dog's asshole when you see it shitting / I saw the children of god / as they walked on slovenly by / the USB ports in their arms were bleeding." I don't know what more to say than that. I have no fucking clue what that song is about but I like it. It's got a lot of words, a lot of visuals. -I have been told that many AJJ fans don't like Christmas Island (the album Children of God is from) because it is quite different from their previous stuff, but that doesn't mean you and I can't like both.

Other other

Dorian Electra -not folk or alternative or rock or anything like that, they're hyperpop! -not overarching stories either (this is a lie, you'll see further down; didn't know until I was reading up on it for this) -but so god-fucking-damn queer and very campy. It's ridiculous. Legitimately. The genre is so different but I don't think there's anyway anyone seeing this won't find at least one Dorian Electra song they like. -Again, I feel like they are pretty popular, but what do I know? -Now we have warnings... -I would recommend starting with the album Flamboyant. Their music videos for Flamboyant are gorgeous and they are pretty safe. Some have some, like, BDSM wear aesthetics, but I think its fine (I must emphasize that I have *no fucking clue* what is "appropriate") --Do you believe god made you queer and perfect just as you are? Adam and Steve. (lit. "they want to destroy me / they will all enjoy it / say I'm an abomination / but I'm god's creation") --Do you want to see two guys (gender neutral) (not actually) beat each other up and then kiss about it? Man to Man --Do you believe in the inherent homo-eroticism of being a workaholic? Career Boy --Do you just like fucked up eyeliner on a "guy"? Guyliner --Do you just want to see how camp Dorian claims to be? Flamboyant --Do you wish you had a sugar daddy? Daddy Like --I am a bit less familiar with other songs on the album -Okay... so... My Agenda *is* a concept album, "from the perspective of a conspiracy theorist who is watching their country being taken over by a gay dictator (Carolyn Droke, Uproxx, 16 Oct. 2020)." It's like, satire, I guess. --I cannot get into each of the songs on this album here. It is a very good album in my opinion; however it does have much more explicit themes of BDSM and sex, which can be overwhelming, depending on the song, the person, and their mood at the time. It is very much making fun of the incel type in many of the songs. I'm willing to bet that most sensible parents would not consider this teen appropriate, so I'm not recommending this to anyone under 18. And it's kind hard to recommend to adults either because of the themes. --Sorry Bro (I Love You) is pretty fucking safe though so you can listen to that. I think the song My Agenda is also safe. It's about the "gay agenda" and "turning the frogs gay," very funny. Also the Village People feature on My Agenda. -I have not listened to Dorian's newest album. I don't even know what it's called.

Those Poor Bastards -I feel like y'all must have heard Those Poor Bastards. -Some of the theme music for Old Gods of Appalachia is by them. -They are "gothic country doom" -Themes of "I'm a sinner and I feel so fucking awful about it but I literally cannot change my ways and I will suffer in hell." But like, it doesn't make *you* the listener feel bad. -Probably cathartic if you grew up with guilt re: christianity? -Decent discography volume? -I am really primarily am familiar with the album Satan is Watching. -I recommend listening to the first song followed by the last song (This World is Evil and No One, respectively) if you want a quick idea of if you'll be interested. -You may want to skip the song I Will Bring You Dead Flowers. It's from the perspective of a guy telling his ex that he'll do better now if she just comes back to him, he'll bring her dead flowers and carry her bible, and then not even half way through he's trying to convince her to have sex with him and saying he "needs" it. So... it's gross. But also its short. -Very christian themed. Not pushing christianity, in fact its a lot of talking about how the narrator is trapped by it. -I made a post comparing the song No One to DBB so, IDK if that's some kind of incentive for you.

Third Wave Ska -People like to make fun of ska, but I think most people (or at least most USAmericans who listen to 90s music?) have probably heard and enjoyed ska music. -The history of ska is pretty interesting, IMO. (Also, First Wave was 50s, Second Wave was 70s, Third Wave was 90s, so we're over due for a Fourth Wave of ska....) -Goldfinger, Reel Big Fish, and Save Ferris all have ska music. Save Ferris is actually quite interesting because they are one of very very few ska bands with a lead singer who's a lady. -Goldfinger has a cover of 99 Luftballoons (called 99 Red Balloons) that is very good and retains some lyrics in German. -Okay, so, I listen to a lot of Streetlight Manifesto. They have quite a bit of music, it's quite fast. The guy who wrote a lot of the music for Catch 22 started Streetlight Manifesto, so they do a lot of the same songs, but noticeably faster. -My high school had a fixation on Keasbey Nights by Catch 22, for reasons unknown to me. It played second to last at every school dance. No idea when or why that started, or if it's still played at every dance, but everyone liked it. While I had been listening to some ska before that, I know what ska *is* because of that. -I really really like Better Place, Better Time by Streetlight Manifesto. The narrator is telling another person not to kill themself and its just. Not sad. Like it is if you think about it too much. But the music is ska so its still wicked upbeat! It's kinda funny to me. -The version of Come On Eileen is the one by Save Ferris which has caused arguments because for a long time I didn't know that it was a cover as, as far as I know, it was the only version I had heard. Also it's sung by a lady! It's gay! -Look, I play many instruments, however, I played saxophone in band in school for 6 years plus 2-ish years of community band, of course I like ska.

Welcome to Night Vale Weathers -Okay, look at me. You do not need to listen to Night Vale to listen to the Weathers. The Weathers are music that, by and large, has been submitted months ahead of time by bands from all over. The vast majority of it has nothing to do with the story, and those that do, have very minimal to do with the story and can be listened to and enjoyed without the story. -As the music is submitted by people from all over, there is a huge opportunity to find new musicians/bands that you like. You like one song, check out their others. I personally tend to just listen to that one song because, as previously stated, I am not good at consuming new-to-me media; however, I did discover AJJ because of their song Children of God being a WtNV Weather, and I have purchased several other Weathers because I liked them very much! -There are over 200 episodes of WtNV, so what you do is you search "wtnv weathers" on youtube or spotify or whatever and you find a playlist with a fuck tonne of songs on it and you listen to that. You want new music, there you go. That's my best suggestion. (For set songs. I used Pandora a lot when developing my own music taste in middle/high school). -IIRC, The Mountain Goats had more than one song as a Weather. I think they do tend to lean folk-y. -Some Weathers I really like include i Know This by Rachel Kann, Bremen by PigPen Theatre Co., Despite What You've Been Told by Two Gallants, Ghost Story by Charming Disaster, True Trans Soul Rebel by Against Me! (which you should all listen to), Table Song by Katie Kuffel, My Postcard by Toys and Tiny Instruments, I Love You Oddly by Rebecca Angel, Second Song by Joseph Fink, The Lethal Temptress by The Mendoza Line, The Ends and the Means by Robby Hecht, and This Too Shall Pass by Danny Schmidt. --I went on to listen to some other Danny Schmidt music, recommend him, and made a playlist with Table Song, The Ends and the Means, This Too Shall Pass, and three other songs, two of which are also by Danny Schmidt, which I listen to pretty frequently. So.

If you made it this far, sorry it's so long, but I hope you found something new to listen to. I have a headache so I will be taking an NSAID now. Also I figured I don't need to tell you to listen to the Mechs members solo music.

It is very obvious to me that I like music that tells stories. (ALL music tells storie. Every song tells a story.) I like concept albums, I like musicals.

Therefore I find it very funny both that my favorite Mech’s album is one of the two that don’t have an overarching story *and* that my favorite My Chem album is the one that doesn’t have an overarching story.

[jisungsmochi]

traitor - lee jeno

starting my SOUR series !! based on songs by olivia rodrigo, here is the first installment. 

player (?) jeno x female reader // friends to lovers but then goes all downhill from there

word count: 7.1k 

summary: “god i wish i had thought this through, before i went and fell inlove with you”

you were more than aware of jeno’s inability to keep it in his pants, but after a reckless one night stand, you finally understood what it was like to be on the receiving end. but when jeno slips back into his old habits, will you have the heart to move on? i mean how could you get over somebody you didn’t even date...

a/n: sorry for any mistakes as usual oop

tagging bestie: @skrtbabe <3

//

Brown guilty eyes, and

Little white lies, yeah

I played dumb, but I always knew

//

“god what did you do now?” you shook your head at the raven haired boy with a blank expression. he shrugged his shoulders, eyebrows perking up,

“i just decided we were better off as friends” ah yes, lee jeno’s code for ‘she was just a fling, i couldn’t care less’. you only nodded, how else were you supposed to respond? you weren’t exactly his closest friend, but he considered you enough of a friend due to your closeness to jaemin.

you knew that he was a player, finding some sort of entertainment, getting girls to fall for him. you couldn’t really blame them, he was strikingly handsome and had his way with words. the only reason he hadn’t tried anything on you yet was because you didn’t exactly “fit his type”. also, jaemin pleaded him not to, in order to avoid any awkward situations within your friendship. jeno was occasionally playful with you, but you viewed it more of a sister-brother type thing, rather than him trying to flirt.

jaemin has introduced you to jeno near the end of high school. the three of you attended plenty of parties together ( well as many as you could before college started ). your first semester of college consisted of intense study sessions with jaemin in the library, jeno occasionally tagging along. you were both sure he was failing his classes but he didn’t seem to care much. his main focus consisting of getting wasted at as many frat parties he could. 

finals were done and dusted so after your last exam, you got ready for some random frat party being held tonight. you were meeting up with jaemin prior,

“time to party or what?” you gleamed at your best friend, jumping onto his bed as he curled into a ball. you frowned at the sight,

“i’m not feeling so good, you should go without me! go with jeno” jaemin groaned, his stomach pains getting the best of him.

“oh damn, want me to keep you company tonight instead?” you sat next to him, forcing him to sit up with you.

“no no, i’m probably going to take some meds and then knock out for the rest of the night. just go with jeno, it won’t be so bad! i’ll tell him to take care of you” jaemin assured, making sure you were on board. you let out a soft sigh,

“it’s so awkward between jeno and i, right? does he even like me, as a friend?” you lay your head on jaemin’s shoulder, feeling him softly chuckle at your words.

“jeno just thinks you’re really sweet. like you have this innocence to you. he doesn’t wanna be a bad influence or anything, that’s all” you just nod, that was somewhat comforting to know. before you could respond, there was a knock on jaemin’s door. the one and only, lee jeno was standing there in all this glory.

“yeah y/n, i don’t wanna be a bad influence” he smirked as he entered the room. you felt slightly embarrassed he had eavesdropped on the conversation but jaemin decided to interject.

“take her to the party tonight, she needs to have some fun” jaemin shoved you towards jeno, causing you to bump into

his shoulder. he just smirked, nodding along to his friend’s wishes.

“come on, i’ll show you a good time” jeno practically dragged you out of the room. his grip on your wrist was quite firm, he didn’t let go until you both reached his car. jeno opened the passenger side door for you, gesturing for you to enter. jeno made his way to the driver’s side, a constant grin on his face.

“surprised to see you so dressed up” he started the car. you were taken back at first, but this was just part of your usual banter.

“so glad you noticed, i did this all for you” you grinned, feeling quite flushed in the face. jeno just let out a soft chuckle, finding your confidence amusing.

“you’re not drinking tonight?” you questioned, looking over to him.

“nah, kinda trying to cut out alcohol from my diet if i wanna have a healthy liver you know?” his eyes flicked towards you, watching as you started fixing your makeup using your phone camera.

“but don’t worry sweetheart, i’ll take good care of you so jaemin doesn’t beat my ass. don’t get too wasted or you might do something you regret” jeno warned but his words went in one ear and out the other. you knew he was going to ditch you midway through, probably off with another one of his hookups. you didn’t need a babysitter, you were perfectly capable to party on your own.

long story short, you got bored after a few drinks, now sitting on a swinging hammock on the porch of the house. as expected, jeno had left your side a while ago, off to greet his own friends. you were scrolling on your phone, thinking of texting jaemin about how he wasn’t missing out on much. but you were interrupted when jeno sat down next to you.

“bored already?” he snuggled a little too close to comfort, softly swinging the both of you in the hammock.

“you could say that” you shrugged, switching off your phone, giving him all your attention. he looked really handsome in this light, strands of his hair sticking in random places, a slight flush to his cheeks due to the cold.

“wanna get out of here then? i’ll take you home” he stood up, offering you his hand.

“wow you’re being such a gentleman tonight” you snickered, taking his hand in yours as you strolled to his car.

“i’ll always be a gentleman for you”

why did he keep saying these things?

the ride to your apartment wasn’t as awkward as you initially thought. jeno insisted you play some music, his fingers lingering near your knee, tapping ever so softly on the surface of your skin. you held your breath at the touch, he was just being a good friend...right?

as jeno pulled up to your apartment building, part of you didn’t want the night to end. he looked over at you with his glorious brown eyes and you were mesmerised. jeno noticed the way you were looking at him, feeling quite giddy with himself. he had always thought you were pretty, in a cute, dorky way. but tonight, you looked electrifying. he was in awe.

as you looked into his eyes, you felt yourself lean closer to him. jeno couldn’t hide his grin, leaning to meet you in the middle.

“may i kiss you?” you asked nervously, which only added to how adorable jeno found you. his hand met your cheek, softly stroking your skin before nodding,

“don’t even need to ask me, love” he quickly pressed his lips onto yours, giving you instant butterflies.

it finally hit you, holy shit, you were kissing lee jeno right now.

you allowed his tongue to enter your mouth, deepening the kiss. it felt like his lips were meant for yours, in a non-cliche way. he was so gentle, yet so passionate with you. he pulled away, leaving you feeling empty inside.

“how far do you wanna go tonight?” that question had you stunned. you weren’t the type for one night stands, but this was jeno. it was like second nature to him. you almost didn’t even have to think twice, you just needed his lips on yours again.

“all the way” you bit your lip anxiously, awaiting his response. jeno’s eyes widened, taken aback by your new found confidence.

“say less, but we should probably get into bed or something” he chuckled, giving you a warm feeling in your stomach. you could practically hear jaemin’s warnings going off like a siren in your head. but when jeno pulled you into your apartment, gently placing you on the bed, lips constantly attached to yours, you drowned out any other thoughts that were occupying your mind.

college was all about new experiences. so naturally, having a random hookup with an attractive guy would be on the list. just for once, you wanted to know what it was like to hookup with lee jeno, even if you were just another number to him.

//

the very next morning, your eyes fluttered open, taking a few moments to fully immerse yourself in the new day ahead. your gaze finally drags over to the sleepy boy next to you. you couldn’t help but admire his side profile, especially his plump lips.

“stop staring, you’re making me shy” he suddenly grumbled, pulling you closer to him, nuzzling his face in your chest. you immediately froze, of course he was awake.

“last night was fun” he mumbled into your skin, softly smirking to himself. you just sighed, he wasn’t wrong per se, you just weren’t sure what this meant for your friendship.

“y-yeah, it was” was all you managed to say, jeno felt there was something off, moving his head to face you. he pulled your chin to meet his face, placing a gently kiss to your lips.

“did you like it?” you knew he was just being cocky right now, but you couldn’t help but engage in his banter.

“nope, worst hookup of my life!” you exaggerated before burying your face into his chest. he shook his head playfully, stroking your hair as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

“what will happen once jaemin finds out?” jeno started to worry, the last thing he needed was jaemin beating his ass for hooking up with his best friend.

“he’ll be mad for like five seconds and probably scold you too” jeno raised his eyebrows, preparing himself for the confrontation.

“there isn’t much he can do about it though” he placed another gentle kiss to your forehead, continuing to stroke your hair.

“let’s do something today, just you and me. you can pick what we do” jeno suddenly offered, causing you to perk up and sit against the headboard.

“well i need to do some grocery shopping, and some chores around the place, it’s kinda messy if you haven’t noticed. but that’s gonna be so boring-“

“i’ll keep you company”

“come again?”

“i’ll help you go shopping and clean, it’s no biggie” jeno smiled softly at you, making your knees go weak. you hoped he wasn’t just been nice because you had slept together...

//

your trip to the grocery store was surprisingly fun. jeno pushed the cart as you mentally ticked off your list of items to buy. he would make small conversation, giving his opinion on which brands were better. he always made sure to walk very close to you, despite pushing the cart. it was like he never left your side the entire trip. and once you got back to your apartment, jeno offered to carry all the bags, making you flustered. he didn’t have to be so...nice?

“you can just leave the bags on the bench, i’ll unpack” you smiled at him, gently tapping his back. jeno nodded, quickly pulling you by the waist, your breath hitched as he placed a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“i’ll make some brunch” he smiled softly, pulling away, starting to heat up a pan on the stove. you were still in shock by his display of affection. is this what he did with all his hookups?

you didn’t have the heart to tell jeno to go home, but he seemed to have understood that he had overstayed his welcome.

“i should probably get going, you know, to

shower and all” he had a smug look on his face that you couldn’t help but giggle at. you led him to the door, the sun having just set.

“i’ll see you around i guess” you tried to make this send off as normal as possible, but jeno had other plans.

“no goodbye kiss?”

“huh”

“ah i see, you’re just shy, see you around y/n” he pulled you in for a side hug, waving softly as he made his way out the door. this had to be a one time thing.

//

it had been over a week since you had last seen jeno. and naturally you filled jaemin in on all the events of that night. to say he was shocked as an understatement,

“i cant believe YOU slept with HIM. you’re gorgeous, the prettiest best friend ever, but really? jeno?” jaemin shook his head. you weren’t sure if he was disappointedly or just surprised.

“i-i know. it didn’t mean to play out that way. he’s just really charming. and he’s kind of a gentleman” you couldn’t help but feel some heat rise to your cheeks. jaemin picked up immediately, of course you were already smitten.

“i say this in the most loving way possible, don’t get too involved with him. yeah you guys hooked up, but he is not the relationship type. at all. i don’t want to see you hurt” jaemin pulled you to his side as you both sat with your backs against the headboard of your bed.

“yeah, i’ll be careful” you say out loud...‘or atleast i’ll try to be’ you thought to yourself. this was going to be harder than you anticipated.

seeing jeno around campus was bound to happen. you assumed he would just shoot you a wave or a head nod to greet you but you were wrong. he would offer to walk with you to your classes, even hold your bag for you. he’d even ask if you wanted to go off campus to have lunch. you didn’t exactly reject any of these offers, but you couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. did he suddenly like you? or is he just trying to not make things awkward between you both? whatever it was, it wasn’t helping your growing crush on the dark haired heartthrob. you were in trouble.

//

one day, jeno had invited himself over to prepare for his upcoming economics quiz. you tried your best to help him study, but then you remembered...lee jeno doesn’t ‘study’, he winged almost every exam and barely passed. C’s get degrees (atleast that was his mindset).

“i’m tired, let’s pick this up again tomorrow” jeno yawned, pushing his textbook to the side as he sprawled his whole body onto your bedroom floor. you were seated on your bed, looking down at the hopeless boy.

“are you sure? we only have one more set of practice questions to go through” you pout, actually finding enjoyment helping him study. jeno shook his head profusely,

“no i’d rather hang out with you” he jumped onto your bed, landing right next to you, wrapping you in his arms.

“i mean, if that’s okay with you” you just nodded, feeling yourself relax in his embrace. jeno gently pulled you down so you were both laying down, facing eachother.

your eyes flickered over his features, his structured nose and jaw, his glimmering eyes and his soft lips. your fingers made their way to graze over his lips, causing him to pout.

“you’re so cute” he mumbled. you moved your hand to hide your face, feeling more flustered than ever.

“why are you getting all shy with me now? did you forget that we had sex? or was that just a really good dream?” he continued to tease, poking at your sides, causing you to let out a loud laugh. you immediately placed your hand over your mouth, feeling embarrassed by the sound that had just left it. jeno raised an eyebrow at you, slightly frowning.

“hey i like making you laugh, so i expect to hear it!”

“s-sorry, i really don’t know why i’m being like this. i-i just, it’s all catching me off guard you know?” you sighed, allowing jeno’s fingers to intertwine with yours.

“it’s alright, i find it endearing” he smiled as he started stroking your hair with his free hand.

“c-can you spend the night?” you suddenly asked, feeling his hand stop in your hair.

“i was hoping you’d ask me that” jeno ducked his head to press his lips against yours. you didn’t want to admit how much you had missed that feeling. but something about the way he kissed you, washed all your cares away. even if there wasn’t any romance behind it, it still felt electrifying.

this was how most nights were spent with jeno. some light studying, some making out, dinner, cuddling, and then more making out before you fell asleep. it was a constant cycle that you didn’t want to stop. he would always compliment you, whether it was your hair or your makeup or your outfit. practically anything he thought you should be praised for, he would compliment you. his words held greater meaning to you than they did to him. you could feel yourself getting flustered each time you received a compliment, while jeno seemed nonchalant. maybe that was just how he was.

one night, jeno decides to stay over, claiming that his heater was broken at his apartment and your bed was warm. but it was code for ‘let’s hook up and fall asleep in eachother’s arms again’. you laid beside him, wrapped tightly in your blanket as jeno pressed soft kisses on your forehead. you started tracing random figures on his chest as he quietly hummed random tunes to get you to sleep. but something was keeping you awake. jeno was hard to read, he never truly expressed his honest feelings towards people. maybe that was just his way of not having to cope with drama. but the constant push and pull between you two had caused many sleepless nights and constant doubt for you. confessing to jeno never crossed your mind prior, but it was the only thing occupying it right now. if you kept it to yourself any longer, you’d probably explode.

you had noticed that jeno’s attendance at frat parties had declined, opting to either hanging out with you or jaemin. he had already quit drinking, not finding much enjoyment anymore. he had also been trying to get above a C average in his classes. you’d say something switched in him, so could it be possible that he may like you too?

“what’s on your mind, pretty girl?” jeno suddenly snapped you out of your thoughts, causing you pull your fingers from his chest.

“nothing” you whispered flatly, but jeno was not convinced.

“come on, something is going on in that

pretty little head of yours, i can see it on your face” he smirked.

“what do you mean?”

“you have this cute frowning face whenever you’re over thinking” you suddenly changed your expression, pulling

yourself to side up as he remained still. you let out a deep sigh, knowing that your next words will change everything.

“i think i like you”

you felt jeno stiffen under the covers, his demeanour suddenly becoming cold. of course you had expected this type of reaction, but seeing it right infront of you, made you want to cry.

“y/n, i don’t think you mean that”

your breath hitched, your throat felt tight.

“i mean, i just- i think you’re amazing. of course i do. but i don’t do relationships. i don’t do feelings or love and that bullshit. atleast not right now, i don’t think i can handle it” each of his words felt like a stab through the heart. how did you misjudge this so badly?

“i fucked things up, didn’t i?” jeno looked you in the eyes sympathetically. of course he felt pity for you.

“no you didn’t. i’m still going to be around. i just can’t be the guy for you” why did you have to go and make things so complicated?

jeno senses you were still overthinking, he smoothed bits of hair from your face, gently tucking them behind your ear.

“don’t frown, pretty girl. i’m not going anywhere” he pulled you closer to him, making you lay down, face to face with him. you wanted to avoid looking into his eyes but he maintained the intense contact with you.

“i’m tired” was all you could think of saying. jeno just nodded,

“rest well” he pulled you into just chest, softly stroking your hair as you closed your eyes. you felt a singular tear stream down your face, landing on jeno’s forearm. he sighed, knowing he hurt you. but he was selfish, he just couldn’t let you go. he wouldn’t let you go.

//

You talked to her, maybe did even worse

I kept quiet so I could keep you

jeno hadn’t been around lately. it was probably for the best, you guessed he just didn’t want you to get attached.

you were walking to your final class of the day, passing by multiple students rushing off in different directions. you were careful not to bump into anything or anyone, but you had the worst luck, feeling yourself slam into a firm figure. your eyes focused on the boy infront of you.

“jeno” your eyes lit up unknowingly, as he greeted you with a smile.

“oh hey, careful there” he helped you remain stable, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“it’s been a while, i was thinking you could come over tonight and we cou-“

“there you are! been looking everywhere for you!” you watched as an unfamiliar girl came up to jeno, leaning into his side. her gaze waved over you, a slight scowl forming.

“y-yeah i’m just talking to a friend, uh this is karina” he introduces to you. what the hell was this? a new girl already?

“i’m y/n, jeno may have mentioned me before” you kindly smile, or atleast you tried your best to.

“oh he’s never mentioned your name, but nice to meet you” she looked over to the boy next to her, “jeno, can you walk me to my class? i’m still kinda lost” she frowned. jeno just nodded in compliance, leading her through the hallway as he sent you a small wave. so this was how it was gonna be.

//

“i mean, who the hell is she? how does she just waltz up in here and suddenly have jeno’s attention like that?” you frustratedly rant to jaemin, who was innocently eating his lunch as you approached him. he practically saw smoke coming out of your ears from how annoyed you were. he had never seen you like this before,

“hey, back track. explain properly” jaemin sighs, pulling you to sit down next to him as he continued eating. you finally got a hold of yourself, taking a few deep breaths,

“her name is karina or something, she’s suddenly hanging around jeno now. and he’s been avoiding me lately” jaemin’s eyes widened slightly, sirens going off in your mind.

“what do you know that i don’t?”

“it’s not my place to say” you scoff,

“not your place? since when have we kept secrets from eachother. i admitted to you that i’ve been having sex with jeno yet you can’t tell me this thing?” jaemin knew you were partially right, but he didn’t want to crush your spirit more than it already was.

“fine, karina was jeno’s first girlfriend. like first love type bullshit. he never really got over her, even when she moved away. i guess she’s back for good” your heart started to ache. gosh, this stupid infatuation with jeno was getting out of control.

“you think he still loves her?” jaemin looked at you with solemn eyes,

“i don’t know, he doesn’t really talk about her much. if anything, i sort of want him to choose you. i think you’re good for him, even if he doesn’t see it yet” you took this as jaemin just trying to cheer you up, you didn’t believe a single word he said. how well did you really know jeno? he had never mentioned karina to you before, nor that she was his first love. i mean, why would he? you were barely friends...right?

//

And ain't it funny how you ran to her


The second that we called it quits?

And ain't it funny how you said you were friends?

Now it sure as hell don't look like it

jeno was at your apartment once again, his legs dangling over yours as you both typed on your laptops. your mind was trying it’s hardest to focus on your assignment that was due in less than five hours, but you were too distracted by jeno’s presence. it wasn’t unusual for him to hang out with you, but you felt slightly uncomfortable, knowing he had also been hanging out with karina more often. maybe you were just being paranoid, but how could you not be?

“quit staring and finish your work” jeno poked you playfully, shutting the lid of his laptop before moving to lay next to you. he leant against your shoulder, making your heart flutter.

“i-i am. why would i want to look at your gross face anyway?”

“stop denying it” he just snuggled closer to you. of course you couldn’t deny it. before you could respond, jeno’s phone started ringing. he quickly jumped out of your bed, hoping you hadn’t seen the caller ID. but you did. it was the one person you were hoping he had stopped talking to.

“sorry about that, it was uh just jaemin” jeno walked back into your room, acting as if nothing happened. you pierced your eyes at him, was he really going to lie straight to your face?

“i know it was karina. you don’t have to hide it from me” you shrug, pretending to type on your laptop.

“o-oh uh sorry. we’re just friends, you know. incase you were worried” was he being for real?

“why would i be worried? just because i confessed to you doesn’t mean you’re entitled to like me back. if you wanna see her then go see her, don’t use me liking you as an excuse” you felt pure frustration take over your body. you had never experienced this feeling before, even jeno was shocked.

“it’s not like that, i swear. i don’t want stuff between us to...end” jeno moved closer to you, placing his hand to your cheek, gently stroking the skin. there he goes again. these small gestures had you swooning, you just couldn’t help it.

you scrunched your nose at the contact, causing jeno to smile softly.

“so cute” he tapped your nose before engulfing you in his embrace. your assignment was long forgotten once he started kissing you. this was all too overwhelming emotionally, but physically, this felt just right.

//

just when things were beginning to feel normal again, jaemin had a few words for jeno.

“you can’t keep playing her, it’s time to come clean”

“give me time, y/n’s sensitive, i don’t wanna hurt her too bad” jaemin rolled his eyes.

“you’re being a real dick about this. if you have feelings for karina, end it with y/n now, or else i’ll tell her myself” jeno grabbed his arm, pleading him to hear him out.

“please don’t. promise me you won’t. i know it’s going to hurt her, but i want to do it on my own” jaemin wanted nothing more but to call you right now and have jeno confess over the phone. but he knew you deserved to hear it from jeno in person. all that the two boys could think about was how crushed you’d be after hearing the truth. but the truth will always come out one way or another.

//

y/n: hey jeno, i’m officially assignment free! come over and hang tonight :))

jeno: hey sorry, hella swamped with a group assignment at the moment. will make it up to you tomorrow!

you nodded to yourself after reading his message. you were proud of him for working so hard in his studies nowadays, it really seemed like he was improving. you opted to spend a night to yourself, switching on the television and eating an excessive amount of snacks from your kitchen cabinet. as usual, you were on instagram, wondering what others were up to now that most assignments were done and dusted. lee donghyuck had the most wild and sometimes, disturbing, instagram stories but you were always curious as to what he was up to. but this time you regretted it greatly. seeing a video of jeno making out with karina against the wall shattered you. you immediately locked your phone, switching the tv off completely. your body felt numb, why weren’t you reacting? why weren’t you crying? or even mad? how could you be mad...you weren’t even dating him. how pathetic of you to believe he would be loyal after practically rejecting you. you felt like a fool for falling for him. there was no way he could sweet talk his way out of this. the pain was too much for you to bare, resulting in you deciding to take a social media detox...well a detox from everyone really. you became more sheltered and isolated than ever. it was just too good to be true.

//

You betrayed me

And I know that you'll never feel sorry
For the way I hurt, yeah

You talked to her when we were together

Loved you at your worst, but that didn't matter

“y/n, honey, you need to come out and eat okay?” you regretted giving jaemin a spare key to your apartment. he would enter as he wished, cooking you a warm meal before sitting outside your bedroom door as he begged for you to come out. you hated making him worry like this but you physically couldn’t get yourself to leave your bed. the same bed you and jeno had slept in together many times. you swore you could still smell traces of his scent on the pillow sheets.

“please just go home, jae” you groaned.

“no, i’m your friend and i need to see that you’ve atleast showered and taken care of yourself” his words made you want to cry. he cared for you so much, but he wasn’t the one you wanted to hear these things from. for the first time in what felt like weeks, you stood up from your bed and shuffled towards the door. you turned the door knob slowly, gaining jaemin’s attention. he immediately stood up, eyes scanning over your state.

“oh honey” he pulled you into his chest, gently stroking your hair.

“has he said anything?” you manage to murmur, catching jaemin off guard.

“n-no. atleast not to me. i’m sorry”

“why the hell are you sorry? he should be sorry. he should be grovelling to me to forgive him. but now he’s off, with some other girl. like i never meant a damn thing to him” you scoffed, pushing past jaemin as he trailed behind you with the tray of your now, cold, meal. you sat down on your couch, wrapping yourself in a small blanket.

“do you think he liked her this whole time and just didn’t tell me?” jaemin’s eyes shifted from left to right, which he only did when he withheld information.

“y-you knew?” he slowly nodded, the guilt eating him up inside.

“i wanted to tell you, i promise. but he insisted that he would let you down in person” jaemin tried to explain. you couldn’t even be mad at him. it must have been so obvious that jeno was into karina the whole time. you were just another name to his list. nothing more.

“am i pathetic for still liking him?” jaemin let out a sigh, unsure of how to answer. but that reaction was a good enough indication that you were indeed pathetic, for wanting a guy that didn’t want you. lee jeno was a traitor.

//

another night was spent alone. you were simply catching up on your usual shows, using it as a distraction from the pouring rain. what you didn’t expect was a series of loud knocks on your front door. who the hell wanted to visit you in the early hours of the morning? you proceeded with caution, twisting the door knob, allowing the door to slowly swing open. your eyes met those of the boy who broke you. you wanted nothing more than to shut the door right in his face, but he stopped you before you could even move.

“i-we need to talk” he slurred his words. he seemed drunk, but you weren’t fully sure. you could have sworn he quit drinking months ago, but the sight infront of you was telling you otherwise. jeno suddenly slumped towards you, his weak figure now latching onto you. you quickly shut the door, dragging him to your couch.

“i cant believe you’ve been drinking again” you felt disappointed. he was doing so well.

“couldn’t help myself, life is shitty. i lost you, karina and i are fighting. jaemin is giving me the cold shoulder. oh and i failed my last assignment, guess i can’t even finish the year” you had never seen him so defeated like this, you started feeling pity for him.

“but that’s no reason for you to drink yourself to this state. i’m really disappointed in you. i know you can do better” you sighed before rushing to your kitchen, grabbing him a bottle of water. jeno took slow sips from the bottle, eyes avoiding yours. there was still one question lingering in your mind,

“why are you even at my apartment? don’t you have your own?” you didn’t want to come off as rude but jeno couldn’t deny he felt a pang of guilt in his chest.

“i-i don’t know. i just feel comfort whenever i’m here. y-you gave me comfort. and i messed it all up” you felt tears begin to swell in your own eyes. why was he saying these things now? the timing was terrible.

“you’re babbling nonsense. just go to sleep, i want you gone in the morning” you grab him an extra blanket and pillow, watching as he slowly started drifting to sleep. you weren’t sure if he really meant the things he was saying, but you’d rather keep it that way. you didn’t need any more reasons to hold onto jeno. this was just a one time thing, you weren’t completely heartless. this was the night you saw jeno at his worst, and if you were being honest, you couldn’t be with him like this. you now knew, that you deserved better than lee jeno.

as expected, he was gone by the time you woke up, leaving you a small note,

“thankyou for everything”

you quickly scrunched the piece of paper, tossing it into the bin. you felt slightly relieved, this was a sign that you were finally starting to get over him.

//

Now you bring her around just to shut me down

Show her off like she's a new trophy

And I know if you were true

There's no damn way that you

Could fall in love with somebody that quickly

“hey so there’s gonna be a bonfire tonight, wanna come with me?”

“i don’t know, jaemin. not really up for hanging in big crowds at the moment” jaemin frowned, wanting nothing more than to see his friend happy again.

”i’ll be next to you the entire night, if that gives you more ease” he pleaded with his big eyes, rubbing his shoulder against yours. you eventually gave in, wanting nothing more than for him to stop giving you those creepy eyes. maybe something good will come from the bonfire.

you spoke too soon, the moment jeno and karina showed up, it was like somebody was impaling you with a stake to the heart. you physically couldn’t move, eyes avoiding having to meet those of jeno’s. you felt someone’s eyes on you, but refused to look up from your feet which were buried in the sand. soon enough, you felt the gaze escape, along with the two people you wanted to avoid the most. jaemin awkwardly coughed,

“this is going to be harder than i thought” you sighed, causing jaemin to press his lips together in a tight line.

“i know, but it’s not the end of the world” he shrugged, pulling you closer to him as you both soaked up the heat from the fire. you hated how jeno was showing her off like his new trophy. he constantly had his arm around her, laughing with his friends loudly, pressing soft kisses to her forehead. it made you sick.

your mind drifted to the conversations where jeno insisted he was not the ‘relationship type’. you remembered how he avoided your confession, how he only wanted your company when he felt alone. how he always interrupted you with a kiss when you would ask about his feelings. it all felt like some sort of sick joke to you. if you knew jeno the way you thought you did, there was no way he could fall inlove so quickly.

but you knew that he was inlove, or atleast falling inlove, because he looked at her the way you used to look at him. you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself, you got played. plain and simple. lee jeno was never meant to be a permanent figure in your life, he was a lesson to be learnt. you had to let him go, no matter how much it hurt, you knew it would be for the best.

//

it was finally summer break, instant weight lifting from your shoulders as you handed in your final paper. although this year had its ups and downs, you were beyond proud of how you managed to stay on top of your school work, and shove any thoughts regarding jeno, from your mind. it had been radio silence from

his end, not having reached out to you in weeks, until some of your classmates invited you to some drinks at a local club. you couldn’t pass on a night to finally let loose, so you gleefully accepted their offer. it was also nice way of making new friends for the following year to come.

“hot damn, who the hell is that?” your newest friend, minjeong, swooned. you shifted your eyes to the figure in question. jeno stood there in all his glory, leather jacket hung loosely on his shoulders as he greeted your classmates one by one. he was slowly making his way to you and minjeong, you wanting nothing more than to rush to the bathroom. but he definitely would have seen you,

“long time no see” he grinned, taking a seat on the bar stool next to you. minjeong noticed that you were beginning to feel uncomfortable. she tapped your arm gently, asking with one simple gaze if you needed her with you. you shook your head in response, this was something you needed to sort out, once and for all.

“it has been a while” you sighed, turning to face the boy who tore you to pieces. jeno stiffened at your tone, part of his heart aching to hear you speak to him in such way.

“how have things been? i-i kinda miss hanging out together-“

“are you serious right now?” you practically scoffed, taking a large gulp from your drink. you needed some liquid courage for the speech you were about to give.

“who do you think you are to come up here and act like everything is all good between us? i know that jaemin has told you how hurt i was over you, gosh, it was probably one of the most painful heartbreaks i’ve ever experienced. can i even call it that? a heartbreak? i mean, we never dated so technically we never even broke up” jeno slowly gulped at your words, hoping no one else was eavesdropping on your conversation. but he allowed you continue,

“we hooked up, i confessed, and it all went to shit. once something new and shiny came by, i was old news. i really thought we were going to be something. how naive i was to even believe that someone like you could be with someone like me. i guess you didn’t cheat, but you’re still a traitor, lee jeno. and i hope you never forget it” you could barely look at him, feeling hot tears fill your eyes. you clenched your fists as jeno cleared his throat before speaking.

“i-i’m sorry okay? i didn’t mean for things to go so far with us. i never want you to think that you aren’t important to me. at the time, you were one of the best things that had ever happened to me. but we just weren’t right for each other, i told you that from the start” you finally built the courage to face him, his gentle eyes meeting your pained ones.

“god i wish you had thought this through, before i went and fell in love with you” those words hit him like a truck. he knew he had messed up, there was no going back from the damage he had done. he broke someone that he truly cared about. he hurt one of his only friends. he could never forgive himself for that.

“y-you’re going to find someone. someone way better than me. someone who sees how beautiful you are, someone who will hold on for dear life because they’re scared of losing you. i’m sorry i couldn’t be that guy for you. i am so sorry” you could sense the sincerity in his voice, but there was only so much an apology could fix.

“may i ask, are you happy?” he already knew his answer, and he knew it would hurt you if he answered truthfully. but he was done with lies,

“yeah i am, are you?” you pondered for a moment,

“i will be” you firmly answered, feeling a small grin grow on your face. although this entire interaction was pure torture, you were glad you were able to air out your conscience to the one person who was filling it. you and jeno agreed to cut contact for the time being, wishing each other the best. of course you would think about him every now and then, but you were onto bigger and better things. lee jeno was just one chapter on your book of life. there was so much more out there for you, and you couldn’t wait to experience it.

[bvidzsoo]

White Lilies

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x female reader

 Warning: swearing, violence, mentions of death, stalking, breaking in, borderline toxic relationship, allude to some mental health conditions but never named

 Word count: 26, 815

 Summary: Your brother, Kim Doyoung, works for the police. Ever since you finished high school, you moved away from home with him and now you live in a big city. You struggle with different things, but the worst one is the tendency to stalk others. And one day when you walk inside a coffee shop and come across a very handsome stranger, you can’t help yourself, he becomes your next target. Jeon Wonwoo. But he isn’t innocent, you find that out the hard way.

 Taglist: @chal-kagyu​ @taeyongandfree​ @minkwans​ @itsdnguyenxoxo​ @rjsmochii​

 Unable to tag: @cheolliehugs @3rachaonlyfans @leahxxiong

 A/N: Here it is! The spin off to Poison, it can be read as a stand alone, if not check out the mini-series: Poison. Minor things will make more sense. I hope it doesn’t bother you that I tagged you for this too, since it’s connected in some ways. Now, there’s things I have written in this oneshot that are totally not okay and I am very conscious of them, so please, if you ever come across a stalker or someone who harassess you, please report them, your safety is very important. But this is fiction, and I’m allowed to write whatever I want to. All the sentences in italics are the voices that Y/N hears. Enjoy now and don’t forget to leave feeback!

           All mornings were usually the same, it was a routine I became accustomed to a long time again. Five years ago, actually, when Doyoung and I moved away from home. There is only a two-year difference between us, so it was easy for me to follow him, having been already done with high school. Doyoung completed the police academy and he was being promoted, brought to Seoul, so I packed up and left my old life in our hometown. Nothing tied me to that place, I never liked it there. My parents were hot headed and they always argued with me, trying to convince me to become a house wife, to find myself a wealthy man that would care for me and for our family. But it wasn’t what I needed; I had always been a free spirit. I liked to explore and disappear from civilization from time to time. Like in eleventh grade, when I sneaked out and disappeared for ten days, the whole city was looking for me. However, I was living in the woods, by the outskirts of the city, in a small hut with a nice, old lady. She moved there after she gave up her job, because she wanted a peaceful life, surrounded by nature only. When she saw me wandering around, she offered me some tea and I accepted it, surprised to see someone living there. The hut wasn’t deep inside the woods, but it still took me by surprise that a lady like her wasn’t afraid inside there all alone. I wasn’t a big fan of forests, but being surrounded by trees and the green scenery always calmed my erratic nature. It was hard for me to stay still sometimes, that’s why Doyoung and I would regularly go on runs, to try and use up my energy on something. In school, I didn’t do very well, but it didn’t bother me. I was able to finish high school and get a diploma, but I didn’t want to go to college. I found it a waste of time and money, I decided I would find something that I liked doing and would excel in it. And with the help of the old lady from the hut, I realized I had a passion for photography. I got my first camera from her, and ever since then I didn’t stop taking pictures. It became my passion and my hobby, it earned me money. I was known for taking nature pictures, sometimes even of animals, and I had my own little blog where I posted all of my works. Sometimes I’d have my pictures put up in galleries for expositions, I earned well during those events. The small house Doyoung and I lived in, was full of all the pictures I took. We lived in a homey, quiet neighborhood, deep inside the heart of the city. Doyoung earned well and my salary always fluctuated, that’s why I decided to stay with my big brother, at least until I had gathered enough money to live on my own.

The house smelled of bacon and peppermint tea as I opened the window of my room, letting the fresh morning air in. I was already dressed for the day, camera packed safely inside my bag, waiting for a call. I wore dark velvet cotton pants and an oversized grey sweater with a deep V, due to which it fell off my shoulders. Ankle high heel boots and a few necklaces I used as accessories complimented the look. It was becoming warmer and warmer outside, which was great, because I never liked wearing coats. Besides, I rarely needed them, I had the unusual trait of not exactly feeling the cold. I was always underdressed during winter and it scared some people, especially Doyoung because he had the impression that I’d catch a cold, but it’s just how my body was, always too hot. I checked my phone to be sure that Mark didn’t decide to text me instead of calling me, but seeing there was nothing, I closed the window and took my bag, leaving my room. I closed the door after me, a habit I had, and headed inside the kitchen. Doyoung was in his police uniform already, moving around quietly the kitchen.

“Good morning!” I called loudly, sitting at the table, with my chin in my hand.

“Good morning.” Doyoung greeted, quieter, and turned around with a plate and mug in his hands. He placed them in front of me and I grinned, thanking him. I took the fork and dug into my breakfast, humming at how tasty it was. Even if our mornings were always the same, the breakfast wasn’t. Doyoung always had something up his sleeves, either trying out new recipes he searched up late at night, or just trying to replicate mother’s old recipes. I took a sip of the peppermint tea and pursed my lips, giving Doyoung a thumbs up as he closed the stove and turned to sit with his own plate and mug in his hands. He chuckled and mirror my thumbs up, before starting to eat too. We ate in silence, it’s how we were in the mornings, quiet. It was the only time Doyoung could savor the silence, because it was the only time I was silent. My hyperactivity followed me through all stages of life, I still struggled with staying still…that amongst other things.

Doyoung cleared his throat and I glanced at him, before checking my phone again, “What are your plans for today?”

“Ah, the usual.” I answered with a smile, trying to look nonchalant, so that he wouldn’t realize I was lying, “I’ll just go to the park and take some pictures if I find something I like.”

Doyoung nodded and took a bite of his bacon, “Don’t you think it’s time to…find a more stable work?”

“Like what?”

“Getting employed at a studio, maybe? You know…you could go to weddings, birthdays…all kinds of events to take pictures.” Doyoung’s suggestion was friendly, but it still angered me. I left home because I didn’t want to hear the constant nagging of our parents, but here he was, doing the same thing.

“I’m a nature photographer. And I wouldn’t like working inside a studio, or whatever.” I said a little harshly, making Doyoung sigh.

“I’m not judging you or trying to tell you what to do,” He knew how I could react to these things, he knew how much anxiety my parents induced when they would try and tell me what to do with my own life, “It was just a brotherly advice, because I worry about you.”

“You don’t have to!” I exclaimed cheerily, my phone ringing at the same time. I shot my hand out to grab it and answered the phone, already knowing who the caller was.

“Target is getting ready to leave, he’ll be at the same Coffee Shop he was for the past week.” Was all the person said before I hung up, stuffing the rest of the food inside my mouth hurriedly. I scrambled up from the chair and clumsily threw my phone inside my bag, trying to chug down the peppermint tea at the same time.

“Who was that?”

“Just some person trying to sell me something—” A burp I couldn’t control surfaced and Doyoung’s eyebrows furrowed in displeasure, but I just gave him an apologetic smile, “I’ll see you after work.”

I pressed a hasty kiss against his cheek, then raced to my car and unlocked it, throwing my bag inside before getting in. I would have to get to the Coffee Shop before the target gets there, to choose a good spot. This is what Doyoung didn’t know about me. I wasn’t just a nature photographer, I worked together with his colleague, Mark, whose job was to gather information about the targets the police had. He was really good at it, but sometimes he couldn’t gather enough information by sitting behind a computer. That’s where I come in play, I go out and stalk his targets. A year ago, Doyoung had a gathering with the colleagues he was closer to and I was invited too. Mark got really drunk and I offered to drive him home, that’s when he started telling me about his work. About how he already almost got fired twice, because his information wasn’t good enough or it was lacking. And because I was always seeking new experiences and new adventures, I proposed to help him. Of course, he’d have to pay me, but I’d stalk the targets for as long as he’d need me to. Until all information that was needed was gathered for him, which he could turn into a report and pass onto the higherups. He accepted without a second thought in his drunken haze and I was beyond happy; but I asked him to keep it a secret, especially from Doyoung. If my brother were to find out, he’d definitely either lock me up in our basement or send me back home, both were things I wouldn’t be able to survive. And being in this city was good for me, it was big enough that it distracted me from my other issues. Back in my hometown, everyone knew almost everyone and it was too easy to find someone you wanted to know. Which was bad for me, bad for someone who had stalking tendencies. That’s why I have been working with Mark for a year now, I was just too good, no one ever discovered me or my identity. I knew how to stay low-key and I knew how to work around the targets without them noticing that someone was trailing them almost 24/7. Having this job, it distracted me from getting infatuated with anyone, I didn’t have the time anymore. And it was a lot more thrilling to be trailing different people each month. It was a distraction from the dark voices in my head, which tried telling me that the next man that appeared around the corner could have been the love of my life. Or the woman that I ran into at the flower shop, could have been my soulmate. I hated those thoughts, and I battled with them my whole life. I used to take medication, it silenced them while I was a teen, but it still didn’t stop me from stalking others. So, as I grew older, I stopped taking them and I started spending more time in nature, where I was alone. Photography wasn’t just a job for me, it was my own therapy.

           Everything was set up perfectly, I grinned widely as I leaned back in my seat. My bag was on the chair next to me, the camera placed on the table. For this to work, I needed as many people as there were inside the Coffee Shop to see it. Thankfully, traffic wasn’t bad and I got here five minutes before the target. I sat close to the exit, from where I could see the whole shop well and could run away too if something happened. The target too was really transparent, he sat at the same table he’s been sitting at for the past week. Next to the big windows, behind his table there were a bunch of plants decorating the place and a painting of flowers was hung above it. Which was perfect for me, my plan was coming together. The target has already ordered his coffee, so now it was my time to do something. I took my wallet and walked up to the barista, having hung the camera around my neck. The weight of it was comforting, having worn it for so long, that it became something familiar. I smiled at the barista and looked over the menu behind her, acting like I was thinking of what I wanted, offering her enough time to take in my attire closely.

“I’ll have Caramel Macchiato.” Finally, I told her and she nodded, returning the smile, as I handed her the money.

“A name?” I was glad this wasn’t the barista who took my orders the other times, I didn’t want them to recognize me. I wouldn’t come to this Coffee Shop either way anymore after I was done with this job.

“Y/N.” I answered the barista and she nodded, passing the cup with my name written on it, to her colleague. She printed the receipt and handed it to me, her eyes falling onto my camera. As there was no customer behind me at the moment, she looked at me curiously.

“You’re a photographer?” She asked as the coffee brewer started making loud noises.

“A nature photographer!” I told her with excitement and the barista nodded her head, offering me a friendly smile.

“I tried it once, it wasn’t made for me.” We chuckled at her words and I just shrugged.

“It requires patience and technique, for sure.” I said and she nodded her head in agreement, “By the way…this floral arrangement—”

And then I turned my body sideways, eyes falling on the target. He was just a few feet away, I made sure to speak even louder, so that he would hear me, “The floral arrangement is so pretty! Do you mind if I take pictures of it?”

The barista thought about it as my drink was done and handed to me by the other worker, “I don’t think it’s a problem, go ahead!”

“Thank you!” I bowed my head a little and she bid me farewell. My plan was working, I just needed to do one more thing. So, with the most innocent expression I could muster up, I approached the target. I knew he heard the conversation between me and the barista, but I wanted to make sure he understood what I was about to do.

“Sir, excuse me—” I spoke softly, almost shyly, “Do you mind if I take pictures of this floral arrangement? You won’t be in frame at all.”

“Go ahead.” He answered me with a very uninterested shrug, the wrinkles around his eyes made him look older than the age Mark told me. I bowed my head and placed my Caramel Macchiato on top of his table, turning on my camera. I kneeled on one knee and started snapping photos of the plants, pursing my lips, trying to get the perfect angle. Then I rose to my feet, and took another one, the painting above it being included in the shot too.

“I’ll take some more from my own table, just letting you know…” I spoke up again, but the man wasn’t paying attention to me. I smirked a little, grabbing my drink from his table, cradling it in both of my hands. With a victorious look on my face, I turned with enthusiasm and took a step forward blindly. My body slammed into another body, and we both yelped loudly. Mine was high pitched, but the other one was deep and almost guttural. My heart started thumping in my chest loudly, taken aback by the accident, and hopeful that I didn’t spill my drink on my favorite sweater nor on the person I ran into.

“I’m so—” But when I looked up, I was left breathless. The man standing in front of me was frowning, looking over himself, to check if anything got spilled on him. Thankfully, the lid of the drink was put on really well and the way I was holding the cup stopped it from spilling out. The thumping of my heart became deafening and all I could see suddenly was the man standing in front of me.

He’s the one. Don’t let him slip past your fingertips.

The dark voice, however, quickly snapped me out of the state I almost got lost in. The target, I’m here on a very serious mission, Mark’s counting on me. But the man’s eyes would be forever ebbed inside my mind, I knew I would think about his sharp, fox like eyes before going to sleep tonight…or every night. Round glasses sat on his long nose and he pushed them up with his long fingers, they almost fell off at the impact. When his lips started moving, all I could see was the redness of them and how deep his Cupid’s bow was. Then I snapped out of it, eyebrows furrowing as I totally missed what he just said.

“Uh—I’m really sorry.” I said awkwardly, stepping back when I realized how close our bodies were to each other.

“It’s fine, you didn’t spill any on me…or you.” His eyes went to the sweater I was wearing for a second before he looked back up. His deep voice sent goosebumps down my skin and I very visibly shivered, but I wasn’t cold. The dark blue hoodie this handsome stranger wore seemed to be alright.

“Yeah, I didn’t spill it…” My mind felt like it was made out of gum, I had no coherent thoughts and it made me feel awkward. Taking a last glance at the handsome stranger, noting how his black hair was clumsily parted above his left eye, I bowed, and then willed myself to move away.

He’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

I walked back to my table and took a seat, taking a deep breath in. I can’t let myself get distracted. I run into strangers all the time; this handsome, deep voiced man wasn’t different at all. I couldn’t let the voices get to me, I had to focus on the target. So, I took a big gulp of my Caramel Macchiato and then looked at the target. He was tapping the table almost nervously, so I turned on my camera again and took two pictures of him, then one of the floral arrangement to make sure it didn’t look suspicious. I looked around the Coffee Shop and my eyes fell on the handsome stranger, who was laughing with the barista. What could they have been talking about? The jingling of the door snapped me out of my own thoughts and I watched as a tall woman, wearing a business suit, walked inside. Her hair was in a low ponytail and she looked fairly young, I almost lost interest in her, but then she sat across from the target. I took another picture of the floral arrangement and then snapped a bunch of pictures of the two, making sure the woman’s face could be seen well in all. There was movement in the corner of my eyes and I saw the stranger sitting at a table close to the front desk.

You should snap a picture of him too.

I cleared my throat and took another sip of my drink, the target and the young woman got up from their table, and I quickly went to grab my bag and pushed my camera inside. As I stood up, a name was called.

“Wonwoo?” And I saw the handsome stranger stand up and walk up to the barista to take his drink. Wonwoo, that’s his name. But I shook my head and waved at the barista with a cheerful smile as I quickly left the Coffee Shop, eyes narrowing to see the couple. To my luck, they were walking on the other side of the road, so I remained on this side and fished out my camera.

So, you’ll leave Wonwoo for that pathetic old man and the woman? He’s not more important?

I shook my head and snapped a few pictures as I walked on the sidewalk, getting to a cross. I crossed the road and cursed when they disappeared around the corner, I had to speed up; and threw the cup in the trash bin as I have finished my drink. I looked around once I turned the corner and panicked for a second, thinking I lost the target. But suddenly, I spotted them sitting on a bench in the park, so I headed that way. I started taking pictures of the river and the few birds sitting by the shore, then of the trees that have blossomed already. The white cherry blossoms were beautiful and I smiled to myself as a light breeze brushed my hair. Then I willed myself to focus again and turned the camera towards the target and the woman, who had decided to take a walk. There was a decent distance between them and I, and to anyone else, it would look like I’m taking pictures of the nature; which I was still kind of doing. The couple walked around for at least five minutes, and I decided to sit on a bench and watch them from there, putting on my shades as the sun was directly in front of me. I was just about to snap a picture of a little duck family, but the woman leaned in towards the target and I quickly started snapping pictures of them. It looked like she whispered something in his ear and then a kiss was pressed against the target’s cheek and the woman walked the opposite way they have come in. I snapped pictures of her alone too before turning back towards the target, who was on his phone. He was on the other side of the river, and I couldn’t have reached him in time, or follow him, my car was ten minutes away from here. So, I just continued snapping more pictures, and my eyebrows furrowed when someone got into the frame. The black hair covered the side of the picture, and I moved a little to the left, leaning against the trunk of a tree. I snapped pictures of the license plate and of the target as he got inside the car, seeing someone already inside of it. I smirked to myself as the car drove away and pulled my phone out, going to my contacts. I pressed the icon next to the name ‘Money Bag’ and it dialed the number.

“Anything?” Mark picked up on the first ring.

“A young chick showed up, but they split up and I lost both. My car wasn’t close enough.”

“That’s fine, where are you now?”

“At the park, by the river.”

“Okay, meet me in front of the town hall.” I hung up and placed everything inside my bag as I started walking back to my car, enjoying the weather and the warm sunlight. Spring was finally around the corner, it was the perfect time to snap pictures of nature, or at least, my favorite time. As a second thought, I took my camera into my hands and turned it on, curious of how the nature pictures turned out. I scrolled past the ones of the target and woman, and chuckled when the one with the ducks came into view. They were cute, people would like this. As I continued looking through the pictures, the ones where someone got into them, made me frown. I was about to delete them, but my finger paused. Black hair, sharp jaw, long nose, round glasses.

You know you can’t delete it. You can’t fight the urge, can’t you? Wonwoo’s the one, listen to us!

           The town hall wasn’t far from the park, so I didn’t bother driving there. Besides, I liked taking walks. It helped with calming me, even though I was desperately in need of a run right now. After waking up, Doyoung and I go straight for a run, but I slept in this morning and I’m sure Doyoung woke up later too as he worked until late last night. He said his boss, Sana, was making him work extra hours because she was sniffing around a very powerful mafia leader. I was aware of the illegal things some people did, sometimes the people I had to stalk for Mark weren’t the brightest, I was well aware of that, but I was never offered information about them. It was Mark’s way of protecting me from harm, which I didn’t think did much. If I was caught, they wouldn’t care if I knew or not things about them, I probably would have been still tortured. Which is why I asked Mark to keep the details to himself, if I knew that I was stalking a mafia leader or some other gang member, I probably would’ve been too scared to go through with the procedure.  

I was shifting my weight from one leg to another as I stood waiting around for Mark, pouting when I looked down at my wrist watch. I’ve been standing here for ten minutes; I was becoming really bored. I took my phone and sent a text to Doyoung, checking up on him.

From Doyoung: Just had my lunch break, I’ll be heading back to work. It’s possible I’ll be back late once again.

To Doyoung: No problem, I’ll leave some dinner for you.

From Doyoung: What are you up to?

To Doyoung: I’ll be going for a run in a few minutes, see you at home!

From Doyoung: Take care of yourself!

I smiled and as I looked up, Mark was walking towards me. I started waving at him with a big grin, my phone almost fell from my grip, but I managed to steady it. Mark was wearing dark jeans and a black hoodie, with a black baseball cap on his head. If this was him trying to be casual, he was failing.

“Stop drawing attention to us!” He said with a hiss as he came to a stop in front of me and I frowned.

“That’s not how you should treat someone so important to your team.” I said and Mark rolled his eyes, extending one hand. He was gripping some cash and I took it with a grin, quickly placing it inside my bag.

“Well, since you asked so nicely…” I said teasingly and Mark rolled his eyes again, I handed him the memory card, “Take good care of it! And don’t delete the other pictures I took; some came out really well!”

“I won’t.” He said with a grin and then looked down at the card, “Your job is done here, wait until I contact you again. You could go on a vacation or something.”

I laughed quietly, giving Mark a look, “Yes, captain, I might just do that.”

Mark shook his head before taking off with a wave, I waved back and then turned to walk inside the second-hand shop. I greeted the lady and told her I just wanted to change inside the cabin, so she left me alone. I changed my normal attire into my running one. Yoga pants and adidas, a black top with a fluffy hoodie over it. I pulled my hair in a low bun and stuffed everything inside my big bag, it’s why I carried it around. Random runs were the best, always exciting as I never knew where I felt like going for one. I smiled at the lady from front desk as I left the shop, heading for my car. The walk was quick because I tried to hurry up, excited to go for the run. Once I got to my car, I placed my bag inside and then locked it, having my phone and keys in the pocket of the hoodie. I headed back to the park where I took the pictures of the target and woman, and first did a little warm up. I stretched my legs out and back a little, and then started running. I took steady breaths as I ran down the path, my pace not very fast but not slow either. My heartrate picked up as I continued running and I marveled in the peace around me. The scenery brought a smile onto my lips as I ran past some couples; I willed my mind to stop thinking. It was a hard thing to do at first, I was always thinking of something, but I had to learn due to the dark voices that would sometimes push me into doing things. I could ignore them, now better than when I was younger, but it was still difficult. The problem was, they could drive me crazy, I couldn’t ignore them forever, and in times like those, I would disappear. Doyoung hated it when I did that, but I haven’t had an episode like that in long.

But you can’t stop thinking about Wonwoo. You want him, you know it. You can’t lock us away anymore, Y/N, we are here. Wonwoo wants you too. Didn’t you see the way he looked at you? He fell for you, Y/N, listen to us once again. Do it. Just ask Mark. He’ll find him in a second for you. You didn’t delete his picture; you have his name—

A loud shout left my lips as I tumbled over some rocks that were on the path, but thankfully I didn’t fall. My eyebrows furrowed as I crouched down to hug my knees against my chest. I can’t let the voices get to me. I can’t let one stranger fuck up what I built up with so much struggle. I couldn’t let a stranger rule my life. I wouldn’t let the voices get to me, no matter what. I was stronger than that. With a deep breath, chest rising and falling quickly, I turned around and started running back. The energy burst I had this morning seemed to have disappeared, which was a good sign. I would have to take a bath at home and then cook some dinner, edit the pictures I took today after Mark drops off the memory card and post them on my blog. Well, that settles it then, I smiled as I came to the end of the path. I slowed down to a walk and took deep breaths, leveling my breathing. I turned to walk on the sidewalk and felt the breeze brush my hair once again, making me shiver a little bit. My body was warm from the run and I concluded that sitting inside my warm car while I was sweaty was probably a better idea than spending more time outside, in the cold breezy weather. But my mind went numb when I saw the black-haired man sitting on a bench with a book in his hands. My feet were still moving, but it felt like I wasn’t in control of it anymore. The Universe was really testing me today. I bit my lower lip and unconsciously grabbed my phone inside my pocket.

No, the Universe is doing for you what you didn’t want to do, Y/N. He’s right there, sitting on that bench, waiting for you. How could you let this opportunity slip past your fingertips? You want it, so do it.

I didn’t realize it until it was too late, my finger had already pressed the button, a picture of Wonwoo having been taken. I hated myself for doing it, but it felt like all stress finally left my body. I felt at ease, I wasn’t fighting with my thoughts anymore, with the dark voices. In the end, I really didn’t have a choice but to fall back into my old habits. And I was doing so well, until Wonwoo showed up. What will Doyoung think if he finds out? I can’t be sent to a psychic ward again, it wouldn’t help. They never help; I hate the medication they give me. I can survive without them too. Maybe if I stalk him for a week or two, I can get rid of the voices and go back to how I was before meeting him. But I pressed the button again, another picture snapped of Wonwoo. I wasn’t walking anymore, I was rooted in one place, mouth hanging open as I gazed at Wonwoo in awe. I must have looked hilarious, crazy even, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t look away; I couldn’t even move. But then suddenly, he didn’t flip the page of the book like he was planning to do, instead, he looked up. And his eyes fell on me, as if he felt that I was looking at him, and I jumped. His furrowed eyebrows snapped me out of my delirium, his sharp gaze sent a shiver down my spine and suddenly I found myself running away. I didn’t care what he thought, I was ashamed that I let the voices control me; it was time I headed home. It would be safer for everyone else if I just stayed at home.

That’s our girl, you’re doing amazing.

           The first thing I did once I got home was clean the house, my blood was boiling as I lost grip of the voices, which kept celebrating for I have taken those two pictures of Wonwoo in the park. In that rage, I deleted them from my phone and threw my phone in the trash bin I had in my room, slamming the door shut as I went to the bathroom to grab what I needed to clean the house. I turned on music, played it loudly too, blocking out the noises coming from outside, but the voices in my mind too. Due to my rage, I was done in almost two hours, it usually would take longer if someone tried to clean the house alone, we had a lot of stuff despite it not being a big house. Once I calmed down, I went to the kitchen and made some ramen, sweet potatoes made in the oven, and some seasoned pork. I went and bought beer for Doyoung and myself, and after putting them in the fridge, I decided to check my phone to see if anyone tried looking for me. It was six in the afternoon and I hoped Doyoung didn’t think that I was kidnapped…well, he’d actually know that. For my own safety, he installed an app on my phone that could track me. I only accepted it because I knew he worried a lot about me, Doyoung and I had a strong bond and the episodes I had always broke him mentally, I tried to be a better person for him too.

From Doyoung: I don’t think the ramens in the cupboard are still edible. Text me if you get home!

To Doyoung: Well, I cooked those ramens, so now they are edible! Sorry, I cleaned the house so I wasn’t around my phone…

From Doyoung: Cleaned the house? Are you feeling alright?

I chuckled at the fast reply, no surprise Sana made him stay plus hours if he hung on his phone while on duty.

To Doyoung: Don’t worry, I’m feeling perfectly fine! I hope Sana pays you well if you stay after working hours!

From Doyoung: Don’t worry about that, she stays with me.

To Doyoung: Oh! Someone’s getting it!

I laughed as Doyoung started typing back, imagining his angry and flustered face.

From Doyoung: Don’t be silly, Y/N!

To Doyoung: Okay, bye!

I laughed as I walked to the bathroom, turning on the warm water to have a bath. After the long day I had today, I deserved a warm, relaxing bath. I got a message from Mark, a thumbs up, and I knew the memory card was in the mailbox, so I quickly jumped into some shoes and ran outside to retrieve it. I locked the front gate, Doyoung had keys too, and then hurried back inside the house. I placed the memory card on my desk and then proceeded to undress while walking back to the bathroom. I turned the faucet off and threw some bath salts into the water, pulling my hair in a high bun. I shut the blinds of the bathroom and sighed, biting my lower lip. Would it be so bad if I asked Mark to look up Wonwoo a little bit? I wouldn’t try to do anything, I just wanted to know him better? I wasn’t doing anything wrong, right? I picked up my phone reluctantly as I sat on the side of the bathtub, easing my legs into the water. I went to my gallery and to the pictures I deleted, they didn’t get instantly deleted from my phone, they were stored there for another month before finally getting deleted off the device. I selected the two pictures of Wonwoo and sent them to Mark.

To Mark: His name is Wonwoo. Remember that favor you have going on? Return it by looking this guy up.

I threw the phone onto the clothing pile that was on the ground by the bathtub and lowered myself into the water, feeling bad that I couldn’t resist the urge. It was too easy with Mark, when I was a teenager, I would do everything by myself. It was thrilling to run after someone, watch them from a distance not knowing if they would notice you or not. And if they indeed noticed you, you could always play it off somehow. But this was safer, I couldn’t risk falling back into my old habits. It was like gambling or drugs…you needed rehabilitation from it, but the yearning never really goes away. I hated myself for doing this, but without the medication I so refused to take, I wasn’t strong enough. I wouldn’t admit that to others or myself, living in a lie was always easier. But tonight, I would allow myself to live in a fantasy.

·       Name: Jeon Wonwoo

·       Birth date: 1996. 07.17.

·       Height: 1,82 m

·       Siblings: Kim Mingyu, apparently they are both adopted

·       Job: Chauffeur of a business man

·       Places he’s frequently seen at: National library, Sunday Gym, Red Corner bookstore, various parks around his neighborhood, hiking trails around the forest, Soul BBQ, Sky Blue headquarters

·       Car: red Mercedes CLS class

·       Additional things I found about him: It seems like he has thirteen close friends, he lives with his adopted brother; but I couldn’t find the address anywhere. Surveillance cameras say that he usually goes to read in the park, by the river, and he drinks a lot of coffee. I’m pretty sure he wears glasses, but there’s few pictures of him wearing it. I’m sorry, Y/N, for some reason this is everything I could find about him. He’s got a clean record, and even the little information I gave you I could barely find. Something’s fishy, but maybe he really isn’t that interesting. I wouldn’t bother with someone like him. P.S. Don’t tell anyone I helped you gain information on him, they’ll fire me!

       The birds chirping were the first thing I heard as I woke up, then the hurried knocks on my door. I groaned loudly, voice hoarse from having just woken up, and the knocking stopped.

“Get up, it’s almost 9 am!” Doyoung’s voice called from the other side of the door and I sighed, burying my head in my pillow, “I’m heading in to work later. I can drive you to wherever you want to go, if you want me to.”

That definitely got my attention as I raised my head, “Okay!”

I cleared my throat and jumped up into a seated position, looking around my bed. Printed pictures lingered scattered around the blanket and my laptop was on the verge of falling off, so I grabbed it and got out of bed. I walked to my desk and placed it on top of it, leaning against the edge of the glass. I looked down at the pictures that were on my bed and decided, that I would do this. I stayed up until late night to research myself as much as I could about Wonwoo, but he had no social media. I found a few yearbook photos of him, but they didn’t help with much. Mark was right, he seemed to be a very boring person…he almost felt like a ghost, like his real identity was buried deep down. And that was exciting, so, if Doyoung had already offered to give me a lift, I could just head to the Red Corner bookstore and check it out for myself. Hopefully, Wonwoo would be there. I still don’t know his schedule, but if I start lurking around the places Mark told me about, I can very easily follow Wonwoo around once he shows up.

After having breakfast with Doyoung, we both got dressed and I gave him instructions to the Red Corner bookstore and we were off, rolling down the busy streets of the city. My fingers were tapping against my knees in excitement as I tried to stay still, trying not to alert Doyoung that I was feeling excited about something. But he was my brother, and he noticed.

“I didn’t know going to a bookstore could make you excited.” He raised an eyebrow and I chuckled, shaking my head.

“It’s not that, I’m just in a good mood!” I tried to lie, but Doyoung just shook his head; I knew he didn’t believe me.

“So…now you suddenly like to read?” He asked with a teasing grin and I scoffed, turning to look at him.

“What do you mean?” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms in front of my chest, “I always liked to read!”

“Fashion magazines, maybe.” I huffed and it made Doyoung laugh as he drove through an intersection. Once Doyoung was done laughing, he cleared his throat and briefly glanced at me.

“You wouldn’t be so excited about books unless you’re stalking someone.” I failed to pick up on the playfulness in his voice, the way he bit his lower lip to try and stay serious. My heart started suddenly beating really fast and my grip tightened around the seatbelt, my whole body became tense. How did he realize? Did he walk inside my room while I was sleeping? Was it something in my words that gave it away? Did I get worse at hiding my feelings? I could feel Doyoung’s gaze on me, but I couldn’t move out of fear. I was scared of what was coming next and ashamed. But then, Doyoung gasped and I had to look at him.

“I’m sorry!” He exclaimed, panic lacing his words, and I became confused, “I didn’t mean to say that—I—I worded that so badly, Y/N—”

“Oh,” I chuckled, trying to collect myself, “No, it was a joke! I totally get it!”

I couldn’t believe I almost gave myself away. He had no idea; he was just teasing me! I chuckled again, feeling at ease as I turned to look at Doyoung again. “Seriously, I totally got your joke!”

“I’m still sorry—” My laughter interrupted Doyoung and he just shook his head, still looking guilty.

“I could become an actress if my reaction made you react like this.” But in truth, my reaction was genuine and I was so thankful that Doyoung didn’t realize that. He could read people very easily, but maybe as he was driving he couldn’t focus fully, which was great for me. Doyoung sighed and he pulled up to the sidewalk, looking at the Red Corner bookstore, which was just across the road. I smiled and unbuckled the seatbelt; I pressed a kiss against Doyoung’s cheek then got out. He offered me a small wave before driving away. I took a deep breath and smiled, looking around the street. It didn’t look like a very busy neighborhood; a few people were walking here and there. To my right there were many narrow alleys that lead to the main road, and I took off down the street. Why would Wonwoo come to a bookstore in this side of the city if he could go to the big one at the mall? Wonderingly, I crossed the street and carefully approached the bookstore. It wasn’t open yet, so I figured I could go to the coffee shop I saw while Doyoung drove us here. The bookstore would only open in half an hour, I still had time. I walked down the street with a skip in my steps, smiling widely. I had a feeling today was going to be a successful day, but for that I needed Mark to leave me alone. I was hoping he wouldn’t get a new case for at least a week, the potentiality of following Wonwoo around without him knowing had me in a very good mood. Sleeping on the choices I took yesterday definitely did well, I wasn’t feeling as bad about as I was yesterday. Yes, it was still wrong what I was doing, but as long as no one got harmed, it wasn’t something very bad!

I entered the coffee shop and walked to the front desk, ordering my usual drink of choice. When it was done, I walked to a table and took a seat, it was by the window, and took a sip of the Caramel Macchiato. I watched the people who passed by and took another sip, relaxing in the chair, feeling content. The melody playing in the shop was pleasant and I bobbed my head to the rhythm. The bell chimed and I watched the beautiful girl that walked in, her hair was dark brown and wavy. She had bangs and she was tall, definitely a beauty.

You could follow her too, she’s your type. If Wonwoo backfires, you have an alternative.

I almost laughed out loud at the words whispered to me by the dark voices, feeling truly entertained. It was so easy to find someone, like I said, it could be literally anyone. If I found them attractive, nothing was stopping me from stalking them. But I shook my head, took another sip of the drink, and ignored the voices. I wouldn’t let them take full control over me. And as the beautiful girl waited at the front desk, my back straightened as a very familiar red Mercedes came into view. It was Wonwoo’s car. My heart started thumping quickly and for a second I didn’t know what do to, so I relaxed into the seat, trying to stay low-key. The beautiful girl saw my sudden reaction and she looked at me concerned, but I just smiled at her, trying to show her that I was fine. When she turned her back on me, I grabbed my phone and quickly went to the camera, snapping a picture through the window. Wonwoo couldn’t be seen, all windows of the car were tinted, but he didn’t get out. I quickly locked my phone when I heard the heels of the girl getting closer as she walked by me and I waited patiently until she was out of the shop before I sprung onto my feet. My knees accidentally knocked into the table and it took the barista off guard, I hurriedly went up to her and handed back the now empty glass, thanking her for her services. She gave me a funny look but I ignored her as I almost ran out of the coffee shop.

“Bye!” I called to her with a wave before exiting, and stopped for a second, taking a deep breath. Wonwoo’s car was still there, but I didn’t know if he was in there or not, so walking up to it would have been too risky.

Oh, here comes the fun we’ve been all missing.

My whole body was shaking in excitement as I thought of my next move, deciding to walk by the bookstore. I could peek inside and see if Wonwoo was in there or not, the windows were big enough to see everything from the outside. So, I started moving, fingers tapping against my palm anxiously, heart thumping wildly. This was always exciting, but also nerve wrecking. I had to move without being seen…or recognized. But, I was sure Wonwoo had already forgotten my face, I was just an ordinary, clumsy girl who almost spilled her coffee on him.

No, the image of your face has been forever printed into his mind, Y/N. He’s watching you, just like you are watching him.

I stopped walking, the woman behind me almost ran into me as she was taken off by my sudden lack of movement. She gave me a glare, but I ignored her. I was right in front of the bookstore and my heart was beating even faster. What did the voices mean? Does Wonwoo know that I’m stalking him? That can’t possibly be true…why would he…

Are you the only person that stalks in this world?

I shook my head and closed my eyes for a second, trying to block the voices. The thought of that creeped me out and I didn’t want to think about being possibly stalked. Then I mustered the courage and looked inside, seeing two girls at the front desk. No trace of Wonwoo, however, as I looked around the place. Not wanting to draw too much attention to myself, I walked by and rounded the corner, leaning against the red cobblestone wall. Well, if Wonwoo wasn’t inside, he must still be in his car. Which is bad, because Doyoung drove me here. I didn’t think I’d have success on my first day of keeping my eyes on him, so I didn’t find coming with a car necessary. But now, I regretted my decision. With a sigh, I took my phone in my hand and was about to search for a cab, but then I heard laughter. Deep laughter. Coming from around the corner. My heart skipped a beat as I peeked around the corner, he was standing there. Wearing light blue jeans and a turtleneck, his dark hair in his eyes and round glasses sitting high up on the bridge of his nose. I quietly exhaled, taken by the sight in front of me. Wonwoo laughed again, his voice was still deep, his laughter was short but warm. The way his lips pulled up into a huge smile it melted away the cold expression I’ve seen him have in the pictures I found of him. His eyes didn’t look as menacing anymore. Not even realizing that I was doing it, I snapped a few pictures, hopeful that I caught his smiling face. But he was with the beautiful girl, and she was touching his arm. So then does Wonwoo have a girlfriend? And it’s the beautiful girl from the coffee shop? It isn’t impossible.

You could have both…or you could get rid of one…

“Shut up!” I hissed, and quickly ducked back behind the red cobblestone wall, scared that they heard me. They were a good distance away, and there was noise on the street, but I could never be too sure. I hated the dark voices, especially when they suggested getting rid of someone. I could never do it; I didn’t want to. I would go too low, I would disappoint Doyoung so much. If I killed someone, he’d be the one putting me behind bars. I didn’t want to see the pain on his face, pain I caused for him. I didn’t want him to suffer or worry for me anymore, he’s had enough of it while we were still young kids.

The slamming of the bookstore door snapped me out of my thoughts and nervously, I peeked around the corner again, seeing Wonwoo walking away. He was headed towards his car, so I didn’t bother following him at first, but when he went past it without getting in, I grinned. He wasn’t leaving just yet, that means I can follow him around! Fixing my hair and keeping my phone in my hand for comfort, I took off after Wonwoo, keeping a safe distance between us.

And I had a very successful day. Wonwoo stayed in the neighborhood for three hours, just walking around. I snapped plenty of pictures of him, ones I would have to copy on my laptop the second I got home and delete them off my phone. He did go and had breakfast at a tiny local restaurant, which had amazing food by the way. They had some traditional cake that I haven’t eaten before, and I made a mental note to return there from time to time. Maybe with Doyoung, he’s always had a sweet tooth. Then Wonwoo went for a short walk in the park, before he went back to the bookstore. He came out with a book and then went behind the bookstore, to a playground, sat underneath a big willow tree and read. For two hours, he didn’t move from there. His hair was moved by the breeze from time to time, his lips pursed sometimes, and eyebrows furrowed every once in a while. His glasses kept falling off and he had to push them up every five minutes. I’m assuming when something was interesting or tense, he’d bite his lip or thumb, eyes running over quickly the words on the white pages. I took a picture and I was able to see the title of the book, ‘I’ll be gone in the dark’. So, he was into crime books, I looked up and smiled in his direction. He just became more and more mysterious. I was aching to know who he truly was, what he truly liked, I was yearning to hear his beautiful laughter again. And as if Wonwoo finally noticed that someone was watching him, he looked up. And he looked at me. We made eye contact, my heart started beating like crazy, my hands shook.

What will you do now Y/N? Isn’t this just thrilling?

But suddenly a tap on my knee made me jump. I looked down confused and saw a little boy grinning up at me. My eyebrows rose as I watched him; he had his hands behind his back.

“Hello?” I asked confused, glancing around to see if he was with anyone. A couple elderly people were by the entrance of the playground, chatting. He was probably with one of them.

“Hi!” The boy said shyly and I offered him a warm smile.

“Can I help you? Are you lost?” I asked him, making sure that he wasn’t here alone.

“No.” He shook his head with a chuckle, then looked down. I chuckled and looked at him confused; he was shifting his weight from one leg to another.

“You’ve been sitting here for a long time,” He suddenly said as he looked back at me, “Aren’t you cold?”

I didn’t know how to answer him, he took me off guard. What was a little boy doing, talking to a stranger?

“My jacket is thick, I’m not cold—”

“Do you like that man?” When the little boy suddenly pointed at Wonwoo, my heart jumped into my throat. I was praying he wasn’t looking my way anymore, and thankfully; he wasn’t. Actually, he was gone. Disappointment settled in and my eyebrows furrowed as I looked around, trying to spot him.

“He’s gone.” I whispered, standing up abruptly. My legs were sore, my ass actually hurt. I should have moved around, not sat there unmoving for two hours straight.

“This is for you.” The little boy chuckled and I looked back down at him; he was holding a little white flower. I took it from him confused, but he just grinned at me and then ran off. What a strange encounter that was. But after that, I went back to the bookstore, and Wonwoo’s car was gone. He had left. That meant I was done for the day, he could’ve been anywhere, and I was actually really cold. So, I called a cab and went home, changed and then went for a long run. I needed to clear my mind, block the voices that were so violently trying to dictate me my next move. I wouldn’t let them rule over me, I was the one in charge of myself and my actions.

After I got home, I showered and cooked some dinner, then I sat in the living room with the TV on as I copied all the pictures I took of Wonwoo onto my laptop. My cheeks felt warm as I looked at them again. I printed two, one where Wonwoo was smiling and one while he was sitting underneath the tree. The breeze had picked up and his hair was blown all around, he was pushing up his glasses, his lips in a tight line. The pictured offered me calmness and as I was looking at it, the front door got unlocked. Franticly, I closed my laptop and threw the two pictures into the folder I was using to store everything I had on Wonwoo. Doyoung looked tired as he walked inside and I was standing very awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

“Hi!” I called out loudly and he looked up, taken aback by my presence there.

“Uh, hi.” He greeted back, giving me a questioning look but I just giggled.

“I cooked dinner!” I tried to diffuse the awkwardness and Doyoung started grinning.

“Thank God, I didn’t have lunch today, I’m starving!” He said as he pushed his shoes off.

“It’s important to have lunch.” I said as I walked to the fridge, taking out the food I had prepared.

“Yeah, but according to Sana, so is raiding the Sky-Blue headquarters.” Doyoung said defeated and my eyebrows furrowed. Where have I heard that name before?

“Why? What’s there?” I asked curiously as Doyoung took off towards his room.

“The mafia Sana is sniffing around.” And with that he went inside his room to change and come to have dinner. But the report from Mark said that Wonwoo frequents that place often. Why? Does he maybe know there’s a mafia inside there? Or is he oblivious to it?

And you thought he was boring? Aren’t things getting more and more interesting?

“How was your day?” I slammed the plates on the table and it made Doyoung wince. I gave him an apologetic grin as I placed two forks and some napkins too next to the plates.

“Uneventful,” I said with a sigh, going to the living room to grab my stuff, “I’ll be right back, I’ll just put these in my room.”

Doyoung hummed as he took a seat at the table, placing food on his plate. I hurried to my room, clutching the file tightly to make sure it wouldn’t open and free its contents onto the floor as I carried the laptop in my other hand. I entered my room and went towards my desk, placing my laptop on top of it. The file I placed on a shelf of my bookcase and as I was about to leave I noticed how the temperature was a bit colder than in the other rooms. Looking around, I noticed my window was slightly open and with a sigh, I went and closed it and locked it. It wasn’t unlike me to forget to close it back if I happened to open it up. And just as I turned around to leave the room for good, my eyes stopped on my nightstand. Five white lilies were placed in a tall glass with water. I remained rooted to the spot, warmness spreading in my chest. It’s been long since I got flowers from someone. How did Doyoung get these in here without me noticing the flowers when he got inside the house? I chuckled and shook my head as I went to have dinner, stomach churning loudly. It felt nice to get flowers. Even if they were from my brother.

           I should have taken Mark’s offer and went on that vacation he proposed, but my mind wouldn’t let me do that. I had a new mission, and it was following Wonwoo around. For a whole week I was vigilant enough that he didn’t notice me and now I knew his habits. In the mornings, he’d take that beautiful girl to the bookstore and then go buy himself coffee. Sometimes he’d go back to that park and read for a few hours, other times he’d leave and go to the gym. He would spend a lot of time at the Sky-Blue headquarters and drive his boss to less or more sketchy places. His boss was Kim Mingyu, it crossed my mind to research him too and follow him around for a day or two, but he was giving me bad vibes. When I trailed after Wonwoo’s car when he was with Mingyu, I felt like the two knew I was there. Sometimes, they’d drive around in the same neighborhood twice and I would have to take different turns in order to make it seem like I wasn’t following them…but it almost always led me to lose them. After Wonwoo was done with his work, he’d go to the national library and spend hours there, so much, that I was starting to worry that he’d fall ill from not eating and drinking enough. In fact, he barely ate anything all day, maybe he did it somehow when I wasn’t watching, otherwise I can’t explain how he remained energetic and standing for the whole day. On the third day of watching him, I decided to enter the library myself and try and find a book that I would enjoy. He switched from the book he was reading to a different one, in fact, every day he read something different. It was confusing, and I was dying to ask him why…but the right moment hadn’t come for it yet. One day, I got so immersed in my own book that I totally forgot about keeping my eyes on Wonwoo too and when I looked up from my book, Wonwoo was gone from his usual spot. I looked around a little too frantically, my knees bouncing fast. I waited for two more minutes before I sprung up onto my feet and took off towards the section I took the book I was reading from. I heard hushed laughter coming from nearby but I was busy trying push the book back in its place, so busy, that I totally missed the deep tone of the laughter. When I finally had the book in its original place, I turned and took off pretty much running, which led me into stumbling forward as my shoes got caught in the carpet. I gasped and ran into the bookshelves in front of me, barely catching myself from falling.

“Are you alright?” A feminine voice asked, and as I turned to answer them, my heart stopped beating. The woman was standing next to Wonwoo and they were both looking at me confused and concerned. I gulped and suddenly my throat was dry as my eyes jumped from the woman to Wonwoo and then back at the woman and then again to Wonwoo. I was waiting for him to point at me and yell that I’m a psycho stalker, but he just looked confused and I quietly sighed.

“Yeah, sorry!” I said awkwardly and bowed my head quickly before turning around and running away embarrassed. It was good that Wonwoo had no recollection of my face, it means that he didn’t pay much attention to me at the Coffee Shop and he also didn’t know that I was pretty much stalking him. As much as stalking Wonwoo made my week better and definitely uplifted my mood, the highlight of my week were the daily white lilies I was finding in my room each evening. I didn’t know how Doyoung was doing it, I could swear I saw him enter empty handed each evening, but maybe he was turning into a magician and was trying his tricks out on me. I didn’t say anything to him, wanting to act oblivious to his nice act if he wouldn’t say something first. But I had my concerns regarding Wonwoo and the relationship between him and the beautiful girl from the bookstore. She worked there and seeing them each morning together gave me the impression that they were on really good terms…possibly even dating, even though I’ve only seen them hugging. So, for that, to check it myself, I had a plan. I bought a copy of the book I saw Wonwoo reading in the park and one morning, on a Tuesday when I knew Wonwoo wouldn’t be the one giving a lift to the beautiful girl, I headed inside the bookstore.

The bell chimed loudly and it was warm inside. The radio was playing through the speakers at a low volume and the girl I was here for was at the front desk. My eyes fell on her and I noticed how she hasn’t had curly hair ever since that day I saw her in the Coffee Shop. She was concentrated on her phone, smiling as she typed quickly. I cleared my throat and walked up to the front desk, leaning against it. It took her a second to realize that someone was standing there, looking at her.

“Oh, hi!” She had a powerful voice; it didn’t take one long to realize she was a confident person. I smiled at her kindly and tapped my fingers against the counter.

“Hi…” I looked around quickly, feigning nervousness, “I’m sorry to bother you here…”

Then I looked at her name tag and read her name, “Hyemi, pretty name! Anyways…uhm, this book…”

I grabbed it out of my bag and placed it on top of the counter, “Wonwoo borrowed it to me and well…I’ve had it for too long and I want to return it.”

“Oh, you know Wonwoo?” Hyemi’s eyebrows rose as she took the book from me and looked at it, “I’ve seen this one laying around in his house.”

Oh, so she knows where Wonwoo lives. And she was there too. You knew this was coming, Y/N, but are you ready to face the consequences? What if you have to give up both? You can always get rid of one of them…you know it’s not hard…

“I’ve met him at the library, sometimes we talk,” I said with a shrug and took the book back from Hyemi, “he recommended it to me.”

I was hoping she didn’t see the tightness of my jaw as I tried to ignore the evil voices. They were urging me to grab the girl by the hair and drag her away. I couldn’t do that; I wasn’t like that anymore. And nothing was sure yet. They can be friends; friends hang out together in their apartments all the time. I can’t jump to conclusions just yet. And I’ve never seen Wonwoo spend time with her except for when he drops Hyemi off in the mornings.

“He really likes doing that!” Hyemi said with a roll of her eyes and I chuckled, putting the book away.

“He does, but it’s fine, I don’t mind.” She hummed and we looked behind her when there was a click. Another breathtakingly beautiful woman walked into the room and I couldn’t help but gape at her. Her lips were red and her long brown hair was in a low ponytail, eyeliner on her eyelids. She looked amazing, I cleared my throat and quickly read her name tag. Irene.

“Everything alright?” She asked with authority in her voice and I found myself nodding very quickly, but Hyemi just chuckled.

“Yes, I was just talking to—” Then both women looked at me and I was lost for a second, feeling flustered. My fingers tapped against the counter quickly and I realized they were waiting for me to tell them my name.

“Y/N!” I exclaimed and my cheeks became warm, “Uhm, my name is Y/N.”

“Wonwoo borrowed Y/N a book and she wants to return it.” Hyemi said with a smile and Irene hummed, looking me over quickly. Then she offered me a small smile and her stern expression melted away. It eased my nerves a little and I offered her a similar smile.

“Right, so…could you give me his address?” I asked, very innocently, as I looked Hyemi in the eyes. She knows where Wonwoo lives, I’m a little bothered by that but at least now I’ll find out his address too. But her eyebrows furrowed and she looked at me apologetically.

“Sorry, I don’t think I should just tell you that…without Wonwoo’s consent at least—”

“Oh, right!” I exclaimed and looked down embarrassed, “That was really…a dumb request, don’t worry! I totally get it!”

“Not to be mean—”

“No! It’s fine, you’re right!” I waved my hands in the air and Irene chuckled as she watched the exchange between us. I took a step back and played with my fingers as I tried to keep on an embarrassed expression.

“I’ll give it back to him when I meet him at the library.”

“Are you sure? You could give it to me and I’ll—”

“I’m sure.” I interrupted Hyemi and walked backwards towards the door, “Have a nice day, ladies!”

“You too!” Irene called out as Hyemi’s eyebrows furrowed a little bit.

“Bye.” She muttered as I hurried out the door, heart beating fast. What if she realized I was lying? Now all I could hope for was that she wouldn’t tell Wonwoo and throw me off from the progress I’ve been making.

And that day when I arrived home, I found more white lilies sitting on the little table that we had on the front porch. I took them and inhaled their scent, a smile appearing on my lips. And as a breeze passed by, I felt eyes on me. So, I straightened up and looked around, but the fence was high enough that no one would see inside, so I shook the feeling off and unlocked the front door, walking inside the house and headed to the kitchen to take a vase for the new lilies.

           A few days passed since I’ve been to the bookstore and I had realized that I needed a different approach. Yesterday, Hyemi and Wonwoo didn’t show up to the bookstore and as I went on with my day, I found Wonwoo nowhere he’d usually be at. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, so, I figured they must have taken a day off. But that thought didn’t sit well with me, so, I decided that it was time I took serious actions. A more straightforward approach. One that would set off the start of something between Wonwoo and I.

I woke up a little earlier than I usually would to be able to get ready. We had only one bathroom, and for once, I put a little effort into my appearance. I usually didn’t doll myself up, but today I wanted to look pretty. So, I put on minimal makeup and decided to be a bit bold and use red lipstick too. I pulled my hair out of my face and clipped the front strands back and then I cooked breakfast for Doyoung and I, wanting to surprise him. He was always the one that got up early and made sure we ate well, but I felt like returning this little favor to him since he’s been bringing me white lilies for almost two weeks now. I even turned his morning alarm off, wanting to give him a little extra time to sleep, which was always welcomed as he worked late and had to wake up really early. After breakfast was ready, I went back to my room to get dressed and spent at least ten minutes thinking of an outfit. In the end, I settled on high waist mom jeans and a long-sleeved colorful crop top as yesterday it was rather warm. Then, I grabbed my bag and went to Doyoung’s room to wake him up. He was in a good mood once I told him I cooked breakfast and that I let him sleep in, his laughter echoed in the house as he told me a funny story that happened at work. Breakfast was pleasant and tasty and once we were done, I didn’t wait for Doyoung, I headed out. I told him that I found a new path in the forest that lead to a beautiful clearing with a spring and that I wanted to take pictures while the sun wasn’t high up in the sky, which unfortunately was a lie. I did find a place like that, but it was last month and I had already taken plenty of pictures of it. But Doyoung didn’t have to know that I was back to stalking again, especially not today, when I was so excited about my plan. Before going to the library, I grabbed a cup of coffee, Americano this time as I didn’t have in mind drinking it and it would’ve been a waste to buy Caramel Macchiato. By the time I got to the library it was nearing noon and I was hopeful that wherever Wonwoo went, he’d be back by today, otherwise, I did all of this for nothing. When I entered, the librarian gave me a glance and her eyebrows furrowed as they fell on my coffee, but I hid it behind my back and offered her a warm smile. She shook her head but didn’t say anything and I bowed my head, hurrying further inside. The coffee wasn’t hot anymore, but it was still warm, at least it wouldn’t burn him. I cleared my throat and took in a deep breath, about to round the corner and head to the reading area. My heart was pounding quickly in my chest and I feared that others would be able to hear it in the calming silence of the library. But as I rounded the corner, my mind went blank.

There he is.

I could feel excitement enter my whole body and my fingers started tapping quickly against the cup of coffee I was holding, I had to force myself to stay as still as I could and not take off towards Wonwoo. He was sitting at his usual spot, in the middle of the area and at the edge of the table. He had a book on the table in front of him, his glasses were close to falling off and his black hair was a bit messy. He was wearing a black t-shirt and a silver necklace hung around his neck. My eyes got glued to his muscly arms as he flipped the page and I gulped, trying to focus on my plan once again.

He is a sight for sore eyes, isn’t he, Y/N? No surprise you can’t handle the thought of someone else having him.

I shook my head a little and then started walking. My heels clicked against the wooden floor, but it was a dull sound, and thankfully Wonwoo didn’t look up. His eyebrows were furrowed as his eyes ran over the words in the book, and he sighed loudly as I got closer and closer. I glanced around, but there weren’t many people, and those who were, they were too busy studying or reading. Knowing that no one was looking my way, I knew what I was about to do wouldn’t look suspicious to anyone. I was two tables away from Wonwoo, and as I was watching him so closely, I noticed the sudden tensity of his muscles. How his palms clenched into fists and it almost looked like he was reading the same thing over and over, but I wouldn’t be actually able to tell that. My plan was to accidentally run into the corner of the table he was sitting at and spill the coffee on him. Like that, I had an excuse to talk to him and hopefully he’d even agree to me buying him a new shirt. I wasn’t able to decipher his personality as he was mostly by himself, but I prayed to every God out there that he’d comply to my wishes. And just as my eyes fixated on the corner of the table, to make sure that the front of my shoe would get stuck in it, Wonwoo abruptly stood up. And I jumped and panicked. The sound his chair made was loud and I lost all train of thought as his eyes fell on me and the heel of my shoe got stuck in the edge of the carpet. And suddenly, I was falling forward, eyes widened in horror. Wonwoo didn’t even blink, he just stood there, looking almost taken aback. And then our bodies collided into each other, and I felt the warm coffee spill not just on his chest, but on my own too. I gasped loudly, Wonwoo remained silent and suddenly I felt the eyes of the people who were around us, on us. Wonwoo was tense as he quickly gripped my forearms to steady me, the empty cup of coffee fell against the ground and I felt like it made the loudest sound I have ever heard. But in reality, it barely even made a thudding sound. My eyes remained wide, heart beating fast as I remained rooted in Wonwoo’s arms.

He smells so good. And his body is so firm. Do you hear how loud his breathing is, Y/N?

The evil voice made me shiver and I sprung out of Wonwoo’s hold, looking at him wide eyed. He looked frozen for a second, but then he lowered his arms, and gulped, glancing down at his damp t-shirt.

“Oh my God,” I muttered, looking down at my own damp shirt, this didn’t go as planned, he was the only one supposed to get coffee spilled on, “I am so sorry!”

My voice was quiet as I tried not to disturb the other people in there and Wonwoo finally looked at me. His sharp eyes offered no warmness and suddenly I felt small under his intense gaze. I felt embarrassed and as if I was caught in the act, but it’s him who stood up. This was supposed to happen differently.

“At least it wasn’t burning hot.” Wonwoo’s deep voice reached my ears and I did everything I could to memorize the deep vibration of it.

“Yeah, I got it a while ago…” I mumbled and looked down embarrassed, unable to maintain his intense eye contact.

“Accidents happen,” I could see him shrug as he ran his hands down his abdomen, “And it’s my fault, I was the one who stood up so abruptly—”

“Oh, no—” I looked up and shook my hands quickly, “I shouldn’t have walked so close to the table, it’s really my fault—”

“Don’t worry about it,” His lips pulled into a small smirk and I knew I was going to blush, “I’m not mad at you.”

My cheeks were hot and I felt at a loss of words all of a sudden, almost forgetting why I even planned on doing this.

“I feel guilty though—” I managed to get out, trying to avoid looking at his lips, “Let me make up for it!”

Someone towards the back of the reading area cleared their throat and I realized I was starting to speak too loudly; my leg was tapping against the wooden floor anxiously. I wanted to insist, but I didn’t know what to say next. I needed Wonwoo to co-operate, but I wasn’t sure he would just yet. His expression didn’t give away anything and I bit my lower lip nervously.

“How can you make up for it?” His eyebrows rose and my heart jumped in my chest.

“Uhm, I—I can just, uh—buy you a new shirt?” I hated myself for stuttering, but this was more nerve wrecking than I remembered it being. Has it been really that long since I’ve done this?

“I have plenty of shirts…” Wonwoo’s deep voice made me look back at him and I tried to stay calm. I couldn’t decipher his expression, but he looked like he was teasing me. I smiled softly and played with my fingers, glancing away from him before looking back.

“The mall is literally across the road…and…if you let me buy you this shirt, you’ll never forget that a stranger spilled their coffee on you on a very nice Wednesday…” Suddenly, all tension left my body when a wide smile appeared on Wonwoo’s lips. For the first time, I noticed how his nose scrunched up when he smiled, and how soft he seemed like this. When Wonwoo smiled, he wasn’t intimidating anymore, it was as if I was looking at a different person. My heart started beating quickly again and I felt at peace as I gaped at him, hopeful that he didn’t find it creepy. If only he knew…

“You might need a new shirt as well…” Wonwoo said once he was done laughing and I looked down at my shirt, eyebrows furrowing. Well yeah…that wasn’t part of the plan.

“If you insist.” I said with a shrug and Wonwoo chuckled, shaking his head.

“I’ll put this book back and then we can go.” Wonwoo said as he closed the book he was reading and picked it up from the table. He gave me a glance before he turned and walked towards the tall bookshelves, disappearing between them. I bit my lower lip, trying to contain my victorious smirk in case Wonwoo returned. I remembered the abandoned cup and turned around to pick it up, chuckling to myself. My plan didn’t work, but worked at the same time. It played out a little different than what I had in mind, but in the end, I still got what I wanted.

“Let’s go?” I turned my head and Wonwoo was by my side, eyebrows raised as his eyes fell on the empty cup. I nodded my head and we took off towards the mall from across the road, about to buy some new shirts.

Once we got to the mall I made Wonwoo choose a shop he likes and I’d buy him a t-shirt from there, only if he likes it, of course. In the end, he lead us to the cheapest shop and said that I should choose something for myself as well and he’ll buy it, because it was his fault too that the coffee was spilled as he got in my way. When he pointed towards the shop and said that he wanted to choose from that one, I gave him a look.

“Are you sure?” I asked as I followed after him, “Because I might look poor, but I’m not. So, if you want to wear something fancy, I totally can get it for you—”

“I don’t need anything fancy.” Wonwoo interrupted with a chuckle and I shrugged, walking inside the shop.

“Well, good for you then.” I muttered, looking around. To the left was the men section and to the right the women section, I pointed towards the men section, “Let’s go.”

Without thinking, I grabbed his wrist and noticed how warm his skin was against mine. I didn’t realize it was inappropriate to hold someone you just met, let alone drag him after you. But I was too happy that my plan actually worked out and that he didn’t recognize me at all. Even though he’s seen me twice before.

What if you aren’t remarkable enough? You could get Hyemi instead of Wonwoo, since he doesn’t even remember your face.

I shook my head and stopped in front of racks of various colored t-shirt and simple shirts, “Well, choose one!”

Wonwoo came to stand next to me and his eyebrows furrowed a little bit as he started moving the racks with his left hand. My right leg was tapping against the ground as I looked at his profile. His jaw was sharp and lips jutting out as he tried to choose one. Suddenly, I became aware of the hold I had on his wrist still and released it, clearing my throat awkwardly. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and looked ahead when Wonwoo glanced at me. I could feel my cheeks burning in embarrassment, but from the corner of my eyes I could see him smirking. It made my leg tap faster against the floor and I wished that something would happen that would save me from the embarrassment I was currently feeling.

“This one will do.” He suddenly spoke up, as if he could read my thoughts, and I turned to look at him. He was holding an almost identic t-shirt to the one he was wearing, except this one had longer sleeves. My eyes lingered on it before I gave him an affirming nod, and Wonwoo smiled.

“Your turn.” This time, he grabbed my wrist and started pulling me towards the women section. My heart suddenly picked up its pace and my free hand turned into a fist as I tried to contain my wide grin once again. His grip felt like it was on fire and burned away on my skin, but I was enjoying it, it was a nice feeling. He released me though the second we got to the shirts and I didn’t even look, just picked up a brown see through shirt.

“This one!” I exclaimed and grinned at Wonwoo, holding up the shirt. His eyes fell on it and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Are you sure?” He asked and I could almost hear a certain discomfort in his tone, but I thought I was just making things up. So, I just nodded my head with a wide smile and Wonwoo sighed, pointing towards the changing rooms.

“Let’s change then.”

“Shouldn’t we pay first?” I asked surprised as Wonwoo took off.

“No, take the tag off, we can still pay.” My eyebrows furrowed at Wonwoo’s words but I didn’t say anything as I went inside a cabin and quickly changed into the shirt I picked. Once I was dressed, I gulped. Well, I certainly should have looked first at what I was picking out, you could see my black bra through the material. And it was a bit too thin for this weather, but if we stayed inside the mall for longer I wouldn’t be bothered. And my car was around the corner, hopefully I wouldn’t catch a cold. I pulled the curtain back and my eyes fell on Wonwoo who was leaning against the wall casually. He was wearing black jeans and black combat boots. The t-shirt he picked was tight around his chest and I couldn’t look away. It was a mouthwatering sight and I gulped, snapping out of it. But the silence stretched on for longer as Wonwoo continued looking at me with an unreadable expression, jaw just a little tight. He kept his eyes on my face, but I didn’t miss the split second they lowered towards my see-through shirt. It made me fidget as I cleared my throat.

“Let’s—let’s pay!” I quickly hurried past Wonwoo, feeling embarrassed for the nth time today. I could hear a deep chuckle behind me, but I ignored it and approached the front desk.

“Hi, we bought these two shirts we are wearing, the tags are here—” I started speaking as I placed the tags on the counter.

“I’m sorry Miss, that’s against the rules.” The cashier very rudely interrupted and gave me a glare.

“Uhm…we still intend to pay though…”

“It’s still against the rules to do that, I have to call security—”

“Maybe you should just scan the tags and proceed on with your life, Kelly.” Wonwoo’s deep voice boomed next to me and I looked at him, his jaw was clenched and he was glaring at the cashier, whose name was Kelly. She seemed to shrink a little under Wonwoo’s gaze and she hesitated for a second, but then scanned in the tags.

“We are paying separately.” Wonwoo proceeded to say when he saw that she put the shirts on the same bill and Kelly apologized quickly. I looked at Wonwoo, eyebrows furrowed at the sudden change in his attitude. He looked stern and demanding, I probably would’ve done instantly what he told me, if he looked at me like that. This is how I imagined Wonwoo’s personality to be like, yet it didn’t sit well with me. Something felt off about his attitude, this wasn’t the first time he was being like this. And it was very obvious that he knew what effect it would have on the one targeted.

“Here.” The girl muttered once she handed Wonwoo the change back and then it was my turn to pay, which went by quickly as both of us were trying to move quickly under Wonwoo’s scrutinizing gaze.

“Uh, bye!” I called out as Wonwoo and I walked out with a bag each and our stained shirts inside them. I stopped walking once we were out of the shop and Wonwoo stopped too, looking back at me confused.

“Something wrong?” He asked confused and I shook my head.

“Not at all…I’m just glad we are even now…” I shrugged and he nodded with a hum, looking around. I tried to shrug off the sudden uncertainty I was feeling. Wonwoo didn’t seem as safe anymore as I had imagined him to be.

“Do you want to grab some lunch?” My heart jumped into my throat instantly and my mind went blank. How do I answer that question? That was definitely not what I had planned, but it was turning even better. But I couldn’t, I felt like it would be too much. Yes, I wanted to get to know him, but I already felt like an intruder. This happened only because of me, I didn’t want Wonwoo to feel like he had to do this. And I wanted to sort out my thought first and analyze our interaction.

“I would love to, but I have to help out my brother.” I lied through my teeth, with a smile on my face.

“Ah…” He nodded and neared me, I felt small under his strong gaze. It looked like he was looking right into my soul, reading my mind. It gave me the impression that he knew I was lying, “You don’t have to feel guilty for spilling the coffee on me, I told you, accidents happen.”

“I know!” I laughed nervously, my leg tapping against the ground once again, “I feel like I should wash that t-shirt…to actually stop feeling guilty…”

And that was the second stage of my plan. Get him to give me his t-shirt so that I can wash it, that way I get his phone number and I have an excuse to meet up with him again. Wonwoo’s eyebrows rose at my words and he chuckled, reaching inside his bag for without saying anything.

“Here.” He said and handed me his stained t-shirt.

“Really?” I asked gaping and he chuckled as I took it from him, “I thought you’d be against it…”

“I’m not,” He said with a casual shrug and then fished his phone out of his pocket, “I’ll need your number in order to get back my t-shirt…unless you’re a t-shirt thief.”

I started laughing as I took his unlocked phone and typed in my phone number, trying to hide the tremble of my fingers, “Shhh, no one knows.”

I winked as I handed him back his phone with my number saved and Wonwoo chuckled, ringing me. That way I had his number too, which I would save the second I got to my car. And then, he took another step and I was taken aback by the closeness between us.

“Tell me…” He muttered, his voice deep and I gulped nervously, “Have we met before?”

He knows, Y/N.

I froze up for a second, looking at him with my jaw having fallen open, “What? I—I don’t think—where—You know, maybe at the library—No! We have never met before!”

I knew I fucked up with my stuttering and the way Wonwoo suddenly started smirking like he was proud of himself for making me react like that. Maybe he really does know and the voices aren’t wrong.

“You go to the library often?”

“Lately, yeah.” I cleared my throat and stepped back, acting like I was looking at the shop behind Wonwoo.

“I see.” He nodded and then stepped back too, holding his hand out, “We haven’t introduced ourselves, I’m Wonwoo.”

My eyebrows rose as I realized we really didn’t, even though I already knew his name. Thank God it didn’t slip from my lips, that would’ve been really bad.

“I’m Y/N, nice to meet you!” I smiled at him widely and shook his head excited, trying to ignore how hot his hand was once again. His grip was firm and I decided to ignore how our hands touched for a little bit longer than they were supposed to.

“Nice to meet you too.” Wonwoo chuckled and we let go of each other’s hands finally.

“I have to go now…” I pointed behind me and Wonwoo gave me a nod and a small wave, “Bye!”

“See you soon, Y/N.” I shivered at how low his tone got and quickly hurried away, feeling embarrassed, excited, nervous and confused by the vibes he was giving me. Why is it that I feel like there’s something going on with him?

           I was eager to get home after the day I had, ready to get lost in my thoughts and analyze every little detail about the exchange between Wonwoo and I. I even considered texting him, but I didn’t want to come off as creepy, or give him the wrong impression. If I wanted things to work out, I had to be smooth and careful about everything I said and did. As I parked my car in its usual place, I noticed how the lights were on inside the house and realized Doyoung was already home. Doyoung was home early! I quickly got out of the car and locked it, almost running to get inside the house faster. It was rare that Doyoung was home before nightfall and I missed spending time with him and going out with him. We haven’t gone on a run together in a long time and I was hoping that Doyoung was up to it. I knocked on the front door first to let Doyoung know that it was me, and then pushed the door open and walked inside.

“Doyoung!” I shrieked, seeing that he wasn’t in the living room nor kitchen, “Hi!”

Doyoung didn’t answer right away and as I closed the door behind me and locked it, I heard the water running in the bathroom. Doyoung was washing up, so I walked to my room and changed out of my clothes and wore something comfortable. I quickly removed my makeup and sighed as I pulled my hair in a low bun, feeling at ease once again. I opened my window to let in some fresh air and as I was about to walk away, I noticed the white lilies on the windowsill. I chuckled at Doyoung’s creativeness and picked them up, taking them inside with me. It was smart of him, to be honest. He parked his car behind the backyard, where the wall of my bedroom was too. So, in order to get to the front of the house he’d have to pass by my windows and that would explain how he was able to sneak in the flowers inside my room without me seeing them. But as I held the lilies, I realized that there were ten pieces this time and I bit my lower lip as a wide smile spread onto my lips. I glanced at the bag that contained the shirts that got coffee spilled on them and I walked up to it, grabbing Wonwoo’s t-shirt. I took it in my hands and, having placed the lilies on my bed, and felt the soft fabric of the black t-shirt. It was bigger than my own torso as I held it against my frame and chuckled as I walked towards my mirror. So that’s what I would look like wearing Wonwoo’s shirts.

You look lovely, Y/N, we bet Wonwoo can’t wait to see you like this. If you proceed carefully, he’ll be yours in a blink of an eye.

I chuckled, letting the image the voices created linger in my mind. I brought the t-shirt up against my nose and reveled in Wonwoo’s cologne. It was masculine and it carried a musky scent and something that I have only felt on Doyoung, the smell of gunpowder. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the t-shirt, lowering it back inside the bag. Why would Wonwoo’s t-shirt smell like gunpowder? Does he go to the shooting ranges? Is it a hobby of his? No, if it was, I would’ve known already. But before I could dwell on it longer, the bathroom door closed and I jumped, taking the white lilies as I left my room.

“Y/N, are you home—”

“Doyoung!” I exclaimed and threw my arms around my brother, giving him a back hug. Doyoung chuckled and tapped my arms, softly peeling them off himself.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be home so early!” I said as I walked around him, wandering if we had any free vases for the lilies.

“I wasn’t either…” Doyoung muttered and I heard him sigh as I opened some cabinets until I found a blue vase. I smiled in victory and filled it with water, placing the lilies inside before putting the vase in the middle of the dining table. Doyoung was lounging on the couch with a frown on his face and as I looked at him, about to rant about my day, I realized something was wrong. He looked drained; his eyes even looked red.

“Doyoung…” I muttered with a frown and approached him slowly, arms hugging around my torso, “Are you okay?”

He looked up at me and tried to put on a smile, “Yeah! I’m fine—”

But his voice broke a little and I quickly sat next to him, throwing my arms around him as I pulled him into a tight hug.

“Hey, talk to me.” I whispered as I rubbed his back reassuringly. His arms went around me and he sighed loudly, sniffing.

“Well…I was sent home early because the higher ups are in meetings…” He sighed again and I just hummed as I waited patiently for him to continue.

“Sana was found dead this morning—” His voice broke again and I froze. Doyoung’s boss was dead? Who could have done such thing? And why?

“Oh, Doyoung, I’m so sorry…” I whispered, tightening my hold around him. He nodded his head and then rested his cheek against my shoulder. We remained silent as I tried offering comfort to my brother, knowing how much Sana’s death affected him. Not many liked Sana, sometimes even Doyoung hated her, but they spent a lot of time together. And inevitably they bonded, she still meant something to him.

“She was shot in the head once, it killed her instantly—” I wanted to tell him to stop thinking about it, to not tell me anything about her death, but he had to get it off his chest. And I was there to listen, I would always be there for Doyoung, no matter what he needed.

“There were signs of other altercations before her death…” Then he stopped for a second and scoffed, “She attacked a girl, Y/N, a simple, innocent, girl. She just—broke inside her apartment, trashed it and—and tried killing her? I don’t understand—”

“People do all sorts of things,” I interrupted Doyoung’s rambling, “You can never truly know what a person is capable of until it’s done.”

Doyoung sniffed again and then gently pulled back, rubbing his eyes. I let my hands rest in my lap as I watched my brother trying to pull himself together.

“She did it because of a guy—I don’t understand. She was obsessed with this—Kim Mingyu and she attacked Hyemi for being with him, I—” Doyoung shrugged and fell back against the couch, looking up at the white ceiling. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched my brother. Kim Mingyu? It’s the guy Wonwoo works for. Wait…does Wonwoo know anything about this? Why was he missing yesterday? Hyemi…it can’t be the girl from the bookstore, right?

“Is Hyemi alright?” I found myself asking quietly and Doyoung hummed.

“Her friends found her just in time, before she could get hurt seriously. But Sana…”

“She got what she deserved.” I couldn’t hold my words back and Doyoung’s head snapped in my direction, “She tried to kill Hyemi, Doyoung. And she was a cop. Attacked a simple civilian. I understand your pain and struggle but—”

“I know,” Doyoung offered me a reassuring smile and patted my hand, “but it’s very stressful. They want me to replace Sana.”

My eyes widened as I sat up straighter, “Wait…you’ll become head of police then…?”

Doyoung’s lips formed a thin line and he sighed, looking away from me, “I guess Kim Mingyu really does achieve whatever he wants…”

“Kim Mingyu?” My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at Doyoung once again confused hearing his name, “What does he have to do with this?”

“Nothing, don’t worry about that.” Doyoung quickly said and ran his fingers through his damp hair, “I just wanted to be the first one to tell you all of this, and not Mark.”

Before I could press more about who Kim Mingyu was, I froze and looked at Doyoung surprised, “Mark?”

“Yeah,” Doyoung gave me a small glare and it seemed like he was quick to repress the feelings towards Sana’s death, “I know about what you do with Mark.”

“I don’t do anything,” I shrugged defensively, “I don’t even know who that is!”

Doyoung scoffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “Please, you think people didn’t notice Mark’s sudden success this year? Everyone knew he was close to getting fired, until he suddenly turned into this super detective he never was—”

“And how is that my fault?!” I exclaimed, unable to keep it inside anymore. My legs were bouncing quickly and I gave Doyoung a glare, “I wanted to help. I wanted to do something else besides running my blog and taking pictures of nature, alright? This is fun and exciting—”

“And fucking dangerous, Y/N!” Doyoung exclaimed, standing up as his eyebrows furrowed, “Do you have any idea who you even follow around? Gang leaders, mafia heads, powerful business men! These people are shady! If you were ever caught, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything—”

“I know!” I exclaimed and stood up too, feeling desperate for Doyoung to understand me, “But this helped! It really did, Mark offered me an escape, Doyoung. An escape from falling back into my old habits and stalking people. Ever since I started doing this, I—I had no tendencies to stalk others—” Besides the sudden infatuation I had with Wonwoo, but it would pass. I hoped that it would. I wanted Doyoung to be proud of me.

“You just need a good therapist, Y/N—” Doyoung’s words were triggering as my parents would say this often to me and I couldn’t control myself, I shoved him back. He stumbled a bit, taken aback by my sudden outburst. Until he realized what he said, and he turned pale.

“Thanks a lot, big brother.” I snapped and turned around, storming towards my room, “You know therapists did shit and never helped me! The medication only made feel worse after a while!”

“I didn’t mean to say that, I’m sorry—” Doyoung tried to apologize as he followed after me.

“Save it, okay?!” I entered my room and blocked Doyoung from coming inside, “I—I know I’m a burden to you. I hate being a burden. But I can’t live on my own, and I hate that. I want to offer you a normal life, but instead, I’m just hanging on your neck—and I don’t need you to remind me that!”

“That’s not true!” Doyoung looked offended by my words as his eyebrows furrowed, “You were never a burden to me. I love you and I want you with me, Y/N—”

I raised my palm to stop him from talking, “Stop, I don’t care. Thankfully, helping Mark out pays well and I’m close to having enough money to move out. Give me three more months, and I’ll be gone.”

“What?!” Doyoung’s face fell and he went to grab me, but I slammed the door shut quickly, “I don’t want you to leave! We moved in here together because we both wanted to! You can’t just leave—”

“Watch me!” I screamed and I heard Doyoung sigh loudly as I crossed my arms in front of my chest. This wasn’t the time to act childish nor to drop something like that on him, not when his boss just died and he was in grief. But I couldn’t help it, he pissed me off. He would never understand what I had to go through daily and therefore he had no rights to try and tell me what to do. What Mark offered me was a life saver and Doyoung would never understand how much it helped, right up until I met Wonwoo.

“Y/N, I’m sorry.” Doyoung said loudly and knocked on my door, but I quickly locked it. I knew he was sorry and he didn’t want to hurt me, but I needed time to get over his words. By tomorrow morning I would be fine, but I needed to be left alone tonight.

“Whatever!” I called out and rolled my eyes, “Don’t bring me any white lilies anymore!”

I waited for an answer but Doyoung remained silent and I really wanted to see his expression, was he mad that I told him that?

“What?” My eyebrows furrowed at his confused tone, “You’re the one who buys them daily—”

The rest of his words got swallowed by my loudness. My heart started thumping wildly as I unlocked the bedroom’s door in a hurry and threw it open, “What?!”

Doyoung’s eyebrows were furrowed too as we looked at each other confused, “You…aren’t the one buying the lilies?”

“And it’s not you who’s been giving them to me?” Doyoung and I seemed to realize what this meant at the same time and as I scampered to shut the window of my room closed and lock it, Doyoung hurried to take on some shoes as he turned on the lights outside around the house. He threw on a jacket and hurried outside as I remained shivering in the middle of the room. Goosebumps covered my skin as I remained staring at the flowers on my nightstand that I got yesterday. Who was giving me these flowers then? And why was this person breaking inside our house?

Aw, does our little Y/N have a secret admirer? Who could it be?

“No!” I shook my head and hurriedly shut all blinds in my room and then went around the house, shutting each one of them. Doyoung came inside looking distressed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’ll talk to the boys, and they’ll start patrolling around the neighborhood. Tomorrow a search team will come and search the house for any foreign DNA, alright?” Doyoung spoke with a serious tone as he locked the front door and turned to look at me, “Nothing will happen, alright?”

“They have been breaking in for two weeks, Doyoung—” I bit my lower lip and started tapping my leg against the floor anxiously, “Do they want something from me?”

Doyoung walked up to me and held onto my shoulders, “We’ll catch them before they can do anything, yes?”

I sighed and nodded my head, looking around the house to see the white lilies everywhere. They made me feel sick to my stomach, so I walked past Doyoung to take the trash bin and started throwing all of them inside it, cursing under my breath. I should have known that it wasn’t Doyoung. I’m so stupid!

           Sleeping was hard last night and after struggling for a while, I somehow fell asleep towards the morning hours. I didn’t have the energy to go and watch Wonwoo today, I was too paranoid to even wear headphones on my run. I kept glancing behind me, until I noticed the police car parked around the curb and two of Doyoung’s colleagues chatting as they had coffee in their hands. I quickly greeted them before running past them, deciding to change my running route out of fear that if someone indeed was watching would already know I would head that way and do something to me. Doyoung kept messaging me every half an hour and I got irritated so I told him to just watch the app where it showed him my location, and at least that made him stop. I was halfway down the path when my phone started buzzing in my back pocket, tickling my butt cheek. I stopped running and unzipped the pocket, taking my phone in my hand. My lungs were screaming for air and I had sweat a lot as I pushed myself in order to try and forget the whole stalker deal. But when my eyes fell on the caller ID, I felt excited.

“I hope you went on that vacation and enjoyed yourself,” Came Mark’s voice through the phone and I chuckled, still trying to catch my breath, “Because I’ve got a new job for you.”

I hummed and breathed loudly, waiting for Mark to continue.

“Am I…interrupting something?” His voice was hesitant and it made me laugh.

“Yeah, my run.” Mark chuckled and I turned around, walking back towards the house, “Tell me everything.”

“It’s a one-day job, but it’s very important. The names are Wen Junhui and Xu Minghao. I’ll send you the details in a message on your other number, delete it once you had it memorized.”

“What exactly will I have to look out for?” I wondered as I passed by the police car again, the officers were gone this time.

“Those two are planning a heist, just take pictures of each jewelry place they go inside and send them to me straight when you think it’s clear.” I pursed my lips and thought a little.

“Fine, but don’t say a word to Doyoung. He knows about us and he’s very mad.”

“I know,” Mark cleared his throat, sounding awkward, “He very much wants to fire me right now. Maybe you heard, but Sana is dead, so he’s the big boss now…”

“I know,” I muttered and walked down the street, looking around before crossing onto the other side, “Doyoung told me. Seems like she was nuts or something…”

“She had it coming,” Mark scoffed and it peaked my interest, “Anyone who works against or turns on Kim Mingyu ends up being dead.”

My eyebrows furrowed and I was about to ask who this man was, but Mark gasped, “Shit, your brother is coming—keep your eyes on your phone!”

He hung up and I sighed as I locked my phone, wondering if I would find anything about Kim Mingyu on the internet. Since Wonwoo worked for him, I’ve seen him a few times, his business seemed pretty serious. Lost in thought, I didn’t notice the guy approaching me and gasped when their shoulder collided with mine. I hissed and stopped, turning around to shout at them, but the person didn’t even acknowledge me.

“Asshole!” I shouted after them, noticing their hunched form. The person seemed tall and looked like he was trying to hide his actual height. I turned to walk when the scent hit me. Musk and gunpowder. I quickly turned around, but the man in the black clothes was already gone.

Was that your secret admirer?

I shivered and quickly ran the rest of the way home, only being around the corner. I quickly unlocked the gate and as I walked inside, my eyes fell on the white lilies that I threw in the dumpster this morning. I felt bad for them because they were very beautiful, but I didn’t want them inside the house anymore.

After showering and getting ready, I checked out Mark’s message and memorized the information quickly, deleting the message. I grabbed my laptop and put it inside my bag together with my camera as I pulled on my tennis shoes and left the house, locking everything after me. I had an hour until the targets would show up to the city center to check out all shops, so I decided to take a walk there, try to use up the energy that didn’t go away while I was running due to it being cut short. I let Doyoung know that I was going out and to an agglomerated area, so that he didn’t have to worry, besides he had the tracker on. I snapped a few pictures as I walked and reveled in the silence around me as I took the back streets, where less people walked. I wondered what Wonwoo was doing, and suddenly I felt bad that I didn’t follow him around today. He’d be at his work place right now, having already been to the gym earlier this morning after he dropped Hyemi off at work and bought his coffee. What was interesting about Wonwoo was that each time he ordered coffee, he bought something different. My phone dinged as I turned onto the main street, getting lost in the crowd of people as I opened my phone and almost shrieked when I saw whom the message was from.

From Wonwoo: Hey…I hope I’m not bothering you…I was just wondering when we could meet up? You know…to give me back my t-shirt.

I struggled for a second to hold the phone in both hands and also not walk into others as I typed back.

To Wonwoo: Hi! You’re not bothering me at all! I washed it this morning…so if the weather is nice, it’ll be totally dry by tomorrow! Is tomorrow good for you?

I was about to put my phone away, but Wonwoo started typing back instantly and soon came his answer.

From Wonwoo: I can’t tomorrow, I won’t be in town and will only get back late. The next day…is it good for you?

I looked around me, noticing that I was in the area Mark instructed me to. I noticed the first jewelry shop and found a bench right across from it, so I hurried to take a seat there.

To Wonwoo: Sure, at noon? We can have lunch, since I turned it down last time…

My heart was pounding in my chest as I waited for Wonwoo’s answer, which seemed to take ages, and in fact only took a few seconds.

From Wonwoo: Fine, but let’s go to a restaurant. The food is better than the one at the mall.

He wasn’t wrong, besides this was sounding an awful lot like a date. I giggled and looked around before typing back.

To Wonwoo: Tell me the location and time?

From Wonwoo: 1 o’clock, but I’ll pick you up. Give me your address.

I hesitated for a second, knowing better not to give away my address to a complete stranger. My parents warned me about bad people, and so did Doyoung numerous times…especially since he became a cop and had to work on many cases that ended badly due to naïve girls going on dates with guys from Tinder. But I didn’t meet Wonwoo on Tinder…and I’ve already been watching him for weeks, I know what he’s like.

Honestly, you would pass on an opportunity like this one, Y/N? Isn’t this what we’ve been working for? Getting Wonwoo? Why did you even bother if you’re about to refuse him?!

When I saw Wonwoo typing, I quickly sent him my address, scared that he thought I was about to refuse him after I was the one who proposed getting lunch.

From Wonwoo: Alright, I’ll be there then.

To Wonwoo: Can’t wait to see you!

I instantly regretted sending that, but it was no use deleting it as he had already read the message.

From Wonwoo: Me too.

I giggled again and as I looked up; I saw a black Ferrari pulling up. I quickly scrambled to get out my camera from my bag and turned it on at lightning speed. I snapped pictures as the targets got out of the car. They were the same guys from the pictures Mark sent me, Minghao and Junhui. Both dressed pretty fancy and I knew they were the targets. I remained seated as they walked inside the first jewelry shop and snapped a picture of it. They didn’t spend much time in, quickly headed to the next one. I followed them from the bench as long as I could, but as they started walking towards the end of the street, I had to move too to be able to catch them. My phone and Wonwoo were forgotten, but just as I got up from the bench, throwing my bag over my shoulder and camera in my hand, my phone buzzed. As the targets were still inside the shop, I quickly checked to see that I had another new message from Wonwoo.

From Wonwoo: What are you doing right now?

I paused a little bit, finding his wording a little weird, but shrugged it off. I looked up just as the targets walked out of the shop and placed my phone in my pocket, snapping pictures as they talked and looked around. I wasn’t afraid that they’d see me as there were lots of people around us, but it still felt like I was being watched. They didn’t move from that spot, so I quickly answered Wonwoo.

To Wonwoo: Nothing much, just working. You?

I looked up to see the targets moving across the street, headed to a simple gardening shop. What could they be doing there? I started quickly walking towards it and snapped a picture just as I passed by in front of it, hopeful that no one saw me. Especially the targets. Then they walked out and headed down the street, towards the bench I was sitting at previously. I trailed after them, keeping a good distance as I pretended to look around and snapped a few pictures of the things that were displayed in the windows, trying to act normal and as if I was a tourist. I felt my phone vibrating again, so I checked it with a sigh. This isn’t how I’m supposed to be doing my work.

From Wonwoo: Working too, waiting for my boss.

So Wonwoo was with Mingyu then, probably sitting in his red Mercedes, waiting for Mingyu to show up and order him around. I didn’t react to the text message as the targets started moving again, headed for the Ferrari they have arrived in. Hastily, I snapped a few more pictures of the car, getting the license plate, and once they sped off, I took a deep breath. Well, I wasn’t caught, so that was amazing. Now I just have to send Mark all the photos and then have some lunch, my stomach is screaming for food.

I found a nice restaurant just around the corner and sat at a table at the back, opening my laptop. I copied all pictures on it and then sent Mark everything through an e-mail before deleting everything off my camera and laptop. No traces of what I had done, perfect as always.

To Mark: Everything good?

From Mark: Perfect, thanks again. I’ll pay you later, wait around a little bit.

To Mark: Fine, I have to eat either way!

And then I put my phone away and ordered food, which thankfully came quickly, as I was really hungry. I bobbed my head to the songs played on the radio while I ate, my legs bouncing underneath the table, unable to sit still. Not that it was something unusual. I was slurping up the rest of the soup when Doyoung messaged me and told me he would be home early again and that he could pick me up if I wanted him to. But I couldn’t as Mark had to pay me still, so I told him that I wanted to stay out alone for a little bit longer. And after almost two hours of me sitting at the restaurant, Mark finally called me that he was in front of the gardening shop, waiting for me. Paying for the food and greeting the lady, I left the restaurant in a hurry, glad that Mark finally showed up. In truth, I wanted Doyoung to pick me up, but he was at home by now and I didn’t want to bother him. I would just take a cab as it was getting dark and I didn’t want to walk home anymore. The exchange between Mark and I was brief as usual and I quickly found a cab for myself. I got in and told the driver where to take me and got comfortable against the beige leather seats. I sighed and started tapping my thigh with my fingers, looking out the window at the bright billboards and lights of the city. We went past the first intersection, but traffic was getting bad as everyone was headed home or out to have fun, so we caught the next red light. The cab driver turned the volume of the radio up a bit as he started bobbing his head to the beat and I found myself tapping along it too; the song was catchy. Police car sirens could be heard in the distance, but it wasn’t something unusual. Then suddenly, there was a commotion a few cars behind us and as I twisted my neck to see what was happening, four figures in all black and masks covering their whole faces ran up to the car. The cab driver panicked and before he could lock the doors, his door was ripped open and he was pulled out. I jumped and opened my own door in a hurry, wanting to get out, but I couldn’t as all four doors of the cab were now ripped open and the four men jumped in. I got pushed into the middle by my head by the man on my right and squeezed there as I gripped my bag to my chest. All doors were shut closed and only the driver put on his seatbelt. Suddenly, he started reeving the engine and then crashed into the car in front of us. The car jolted and I gasped as I was sent forward, eyes wide as my heart pumped loudly. God damn it, I should have just accepted Doyoung’s offer and asked Mark to pay me tomorrow. The cab driver was holding onto his head and screaming for help as the sirens got closer and the driver started honking, trying to make space for us to pass. I remained silent and shocked, gripping onto my bag and hopeful that they wouldn’t do anything to me. They seemed too stressed about leaving and getting away from the approaching police.

“For fuck’s sake!” Suddenly the one in the passenger seat shouted, his voice raspy, as he threw his door open and got halfway out. And then a silver thing glinted in his hand and I made myself small as I knew he was about to pull the trigger. The gunshots were loud as people started screaming around, suddenly the cars in front of us started moving aside, the light had turned green too.

“Floor it!” The man to my left shouted and the one in the passenger seat hopped back in as the driver pressed the gas pedal and we were sent flying forward. I yelped and held onto the headrest of the passenger seat tightly, looking ahead. The driver was honking constantly until every car started moving out of the way and we were flying down the road, but the sirens were closer too. So close, that the red and blue lights could be seen from inside the car. My breathing started to pick up as my left leg was bouncing very fast, and I was trying to remain as calm as I could. It seemed like they didn’t want to bother with me, so if I remain silent, maybe nothing will happen to me. I might as well blindfold myself so that I know nothing about where they are taking me and then they can let me free as I haven’t seen their faces.

The light turned red in front of us, but the driver wasn’t paying any attention to the traffic lights as he was speeding and switching lanes frantically, even going into the opposite lanes, making me squeeze my eyes shut. If we were about to run into any car, I didn’t want to see it. My bouncing leg knocked into something and I opened one eyes, becoming aware that these criminals were holding black bags that seemed to be heavy. They must have robbed some place and now were running away, just fucking perfect that they chose this cab! I gasped again as the car was jerked to the right and I was sent into the person on my left, making them hiss. I was expecting a slap or them to scream at me, but they just gently adjusted me back into the middle seat, turning their head towards me as if they realized for the first time that I was in the car too. I could see their brown eyes, and they widened. Mine widened too out of fear and I quickly ducked my head, holding onto my bag tightly. By now, the police was full on chasing these criminals, they were right behind us and the car was jerked to the left this time.

“Fuck this shit car!” A very deep voice suddenly shouted, making me jump, “I can’t outrun the fucking police in this old ass piece of shit—”

“Calm down!” The man on my right snapped, voice tense and raised. My left leg was bouncing so fast that I was getting a cramp in my thigh, but I couldn’t stop, I was on the brink of passing out from how anxious I was feeling. I stopped breathing normally a long time ago and I even started sweating, if only someone would’ve rolled down a window…

“Where the fuck do I go if they are trailing us? I can’t lose them here!” The deep voiced man continued shouting and he honked again as the sirens seemed to become deafening. But the more I concentrated on his deep voice, the more familiar it became. My body felt like it was made out of rock already, but it seemed like I could tense up even more. My breath got cut off for a second as my head snapped up, my whole body sitting up straight. My eyes bore into the back of the driver’s head. I knew that voice, but it can’t be. My brain is just making up things, I’m under so much stress that I started making up things.

“Take the back streets!” The man from the passenger seat answered him, “Boss is waiting at the docks.”

“The docks are fucking half an hour away from here! Start shooting at their cars tires, you idiots!” The driver’s deep voice boomed in the car and I shivered as three windows were rolled down. The three men suddenly all had weapons in their hands and they started shooting at the police car that was speeding beside the cab. I remained staring at the driver as my brain was screaming at me that the voice belonged to Wonwoo. Suddenly, the guy looked in the rearview mirror and our gazes connected. My mouth fell open when I saw foxy eyes staring back at me with the intensity I was used to seeing from Wonwoo, their brown seemed to be even darker as I gaped at Wonwoo. This can’t be happening, no. This must be a joke. But Wonwoo’s eyes narrowed and he quickly looked back at the road, taking another sharp turn as the rest managed to get rid of that one police car, but at least three more were still chasing us. Suddenly, I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket and I let go of my bag with one hand, only now noticing how badly I was shaking. I knew no one was paying attention to me, so I curled up into a ball and sneakily placed the phone against my ear after hitting the green button.

“Y/N?!” Doyoung’s voice was frantic and the sirens were even louder through the phone, “Why the hell are you in the car we are chasing—”

Suddenly, the phone was ripped from my hands and I shrieked, trying to reach for it, “Doyoung!”

But the guys on each of my side held me down and the man in the passenger’s seat had the phone against his ear.

“Listen here—” But he was cut off by Doyoung, I could hear him screaming through the phone, but I didn’t understand what he was saying as all I could hear were my own loud heart beats as I struggled against the men holding me. Finally, my flight or fight kicked in, and I chose to fight as I didn’t really have the opportunity to run. Only God knows what was about to happen, I wasn’t going to sit around anymore. I elbowed the man on my right in the stomach and he cried out loudly as I finally freed my right arm. The man on my left was very skinny, but despite that he was very strong and my arm was turning numb, that’s how hard he was squeezing me. I started fighting against him too, punched him in the face with my free hand, even though he tried dodging it. My left arm was free too and I lunged for the guy in the passenger seat, knowing that I’d kill all of us if I started choking Wonwoo. So instead, my hands went around the other guy’s neck from behind as I started squeezing, the words he was about to say to my brother dying away in his throat. My phone fell from his hand and he gripped my wrists, trying to claw at me with his nails, but he was wearing glows. I started squeezing even harder as Wonwoo started swerving the car around violently.

“Get a fucking grip on her!” He shouted as with his right hand he gripped my bicep and started yanking on my arm. I cried out in pain, trying to elbow him as suddenly hands around my waist and forearms were pulling me back harshly. The guy I was choking started fighting back too, probably close to passing out as his struggling became less and less. But these guys were very strong, and two were pulling me back while one was squeezing so hard on my bicep that it felt like someone was trying to rip my arm off, I had to let go of the guy in the passenger seat. He started coughing and wheezing loudly as he fell forward. I screamed as I was restrained, this time the guys were almost sitting on me to stop me from fighting back. Wonwoo looked at me through the rearview mirror and I knew that he knew I recognized him, his deadly glare made me still instantly. I was rooted against the leather seat as he reached for my phone and hit a button, no doubt calling my brother.

“You want your sister? You play along with me.” Was all he said before hanging up and throwing the phone back at me, hitting my knees as it fell onto the ground. The guys still held me tightly, even though I stopped struggling. The one in the front stopped coughing, but he was still leaned over, holding onto his head as he was breathing loudly. My lungs were rising and falling at an alarming pace as my legs started bouncing again. But then suddenly Wonwoo took a sharp U turn and the police cars stopped following us. The sirens stopped blaring, all you could see were the lights, lights that were getting farther away from us. Doyoung was getting farther away from me, he was in one of those cars! I bit my lower lip and tried to keep the thoughts about me dying out as for once in my life I focused on the voices.

Look at that, Y/N is having the most fun she’s ever head. Don’t worry, you won’t die. Wonwoo won’t kill you, he’s into you. And he probably knows that you know it’s him. Isn’t he just so hot? The way he screamed, the way he’s driving…and you thought he was boring?! His burning gaze makes you feel all sorts of ways, Y/N, admit it. Now calm down, you are getting out of this alive.

The voices weren’t helpful as they were rambling about Wonwoo, but I did take a deep breath and noticed that until I was zoned out, he stopped driving at a crazy speed. We were downtown, but nowhere close to the docks. Wonwoo pulled up into the parking lot of a poorly lit convenience store, where a police car was already there. But all lights were off and only one man was there, walking around the car anxiously. It was Doyoung and my heart almost jumped out of my chest when Wonwoo stopped the car just next to Doyoung’s police car. The doors were kicked open again and I jumped when the guy on my left held onto my bicep, Wonwoo squeezed me so hard that my whole arm was on fire, it would bruise so ugly. I was pulled out of the car, but not manhandled, as Doyoung came to a stop at the back of the car. The guy let go of me and I took two hurried steps, but someone blocked my path, and I ran into their hard chest. Musk and gunpowder. I didn’t look up at Wonwoo, only stared at his chest as I held my bag against my stomach, my whole-body trembling.

“Say a word to anyone about this, I know where you live and I won’t hesitate to find you.” His deep voice was low as he whispered to me, radiating anger. I bit my lower lip and said nothing as I knocked into him hard and walked past to get to Doyoung. He was quick to pull me into his arms and I clung onto him, telling myself that I was finally safe. It was silent as no one dared to say anything; Doyoung was so tense, he felt like I was hugging a rock.

“If you ever again put my sister into danger, I won’t hesitate to continue what Sana started. You’re lucky I’ve known Mingyu since we were kids, otherwise you’d be laying in jail for life right now.” Doyoung was so angry, his voice trembled and it even raised a few octaves as he spoke to the criminals. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was just letting them off like that? They were criminals!

“Your generosity will be always returned, you know that, Doyoung.” The guy I choked could barely speak, his voice was a low rasp and then I heard something colliding against the concrete. Doyoung moved us a little as car doors were closed and the engine of the cab started again as Wonwoo pulled out of the parking lot with the tires screeching. I let go of Doyoung and looked at him disappointed, lips trembling.

“You’re a corrupt cop?” I managed to say as a few tears fell from my eyes. He looked down at the bag and picked it up, remorse showing on his face.

“You weren’t supposed to find out, but it’s a complicated story—”

“Nothing about this is complicated!” I shouted, angrily wiping the tears off my cheeks, “You just let four criminals run off like nothing happened! Like I couldn’t have been killed in that chase or afterwards by them! If people like you are the ones protecting this city everyone should be afraid for their own lives!”

Doyoung’s face got red and he pointed a finger at me, “You don’t get to tell me what’s wrong and what’s right! I’m not perfect; you think you’re the only one with flaws, Y/N?! Wake up! I’m not the perfect brother you always make me out to be! Once you start working for the mafia there’s no way out—”

“You work for the mafia?!” I screamed, seeing Doyoung in a different light for the first time. He really wasn’t the person I thought he was. The innocent Doyoung never existed, at least not since he’s been working for the mafia apparently.

“No, but I help them out sometimes. Mingyu and I made a pact a long time ago—”

“Kim Mingyu is the mafia leader?”

“Yes—”

“Who is Jeon Wonwoo?” Doyoung paused for a second, eyebrows furrowing. I raised my eyebrows at him as I waited for an answer. Oh, and he was going to give me all the answers I wanted.

“A very skilled getaway driver, Mingyu’s closest and most trusted friend, and his chauffeur.” Doyoung answered me after he took a deep breath, searching my face for a reaction. But it never came, I surpassed it. I felt tired and I was aching all over, I need a warm bath and sleep. I didn’t even want to know anything anymore, that was enough.

“Let’s go home.” I said with a sigh and walked up to the police car, “I’m very tired.”

“Y/N—”

“Now, Doyoung.” I snapped and opened the door, sitting inside angrily. Doyoung shook his head before following suit, remaining silent for the rest of the night.

Isn’t Wonwoo just the most amazing person you’ve ever—Shut up, I shouted in my head, closing my eyes tightly. I was done listening to the voices. I wanted nothing to do with them anymore. No, Wonwoo was a criminal and he made it very clear what he’d do if I said anything about what happened. I was going to ask Mark to return that damned t-shirt to him and I never wanted to see Wonwoo again or talk to him again. I blocked his number and deleted all pictures I had of him in my phone. In the morning, when I was home alone, I was going to burn every single thing I had collected about him, every single picture I snapped. He was a criminal and I wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

           Ever since last night Doyoung was acting like I was an alien. He didn’t speak to me; he didn’t even look at me! He quietly greeted me when I walked to the kitchen to have breakfast, but before I could thank him for making breakfast or ask him how he slept, he was out of the front door. He barely checked up on me all day, and when I gave him a call to ask him if he’d come home for lunch as I cooked food, he didn’t answer but sent a text saying that he couldn’t speak to me at the moment. It was pissing me off. I didn’t want him to make this harder for us. What I found out was a lot to take in and I wasn’t proud of him, but he was my brother and he was the only person who stood by my side since day one without judging me. I loved him very much and I needed him next to me. I needed him to understand that nothing changed between us, besides the fact that currently I was very pissed off and scared. The police were still patrolling around the neighborhood as no DNA was found inside the house that didn’t belong to us, and honestly, I was on the verge of inviting the officers inside the house as I jumped at every sound. Sleep came easily as I was very stressed, but my eyes opened at five in morning and I haven’t been able to go back to sleep, so I got to work. I gathered everything I had on Wonwoo and threw it in the fireplace in the back garden and watched it as it burned away in the morning light. It eased my nerves a little bit as I clutched the blanket tighter around me, knowing that Wonwoo was out of town today. But tomorrow he wouldn’t be, and I had a feeling that he was still going to want to meet up with me. But I didn’t want to, not anymore. Knowing that Mark wasn’t sleeping at that hour, I called him, and told him everything that happened. He was very sorry and felt really guilty and promised to never send me off to watch mafia members, I was content with that. Watching shady business men was alright, but following mafia members wasn’t fun anymore. I stayed inside the whole day after I went on my run and just cleaned and cooked even more. I updated my blog and accepted a request of someone to put up my photos in their gallery next month. Since Mark wasn’t going to contact me for a while now, I started looking for vacation destinations. I really needed it, I had to get away from the city for a while. The voices went quiet and even when I listened closely, I only heard intangible whispers. It was good, it meant I was over Wonwoo. Even if I wasn’t really. The fairytale I was living in was shattered and as I glanced at his folded t-shirt, I sighed. I was hoping that for once I finally found someone who would be good for me, but it turned out I was very wrong. Usually my hunches were good, but this time I was totally blinded by his attractiveness and the voices that never knew better. Shaking my head, I remembered the old lady from the woods and wondered if she was still alive…or if she’d recognize me if I showed up. She told me she’d welcome me anytime again, but I didn’t visit her very frequently as my family was keeping a close eye on me after I ran away, and it was fine. But now, I craved to be engulfed in total silence and the green nature around me.

Nightfall came and I was eating on the couch as I watched a reality show, laughing loudly when something was amusing. It wasn’t very late, but the sun still set early as we haven’t passed the spring solstice yet. I just bit into the meatball I made for lunch when the front door was unlocked and I heard Doyoung’s keys.

“Hi!” I called out with my mouth full, raising the hand with which I was holding the fork to wave at him. Doyoung hummed and went to the fridge directly and opened it.

“Oh, I made a lot of food today,” I said as I turned around, resting both legs on the couch, “Meatballs, found some spaghetti too so I made some sauce for it. I made a salad with the veggies we had and lentil cream soup, your favorite!”

But Doyoung didn’t react and my eyebrows furrowed as I chewed the food I had in my mouth. This had do end right now, I wasn’t going to let my brother treat me like I was invisible just because I found out that he’s a corrupt cop.

“Hey!” I snapped, placing the plate on the coffee table forcefully, “Stop being a pussy and face me!”

Doyoung sighed and threw a glance at me as he took out the soup and I spoke again, “Aren’t I the one supposed to be giving you the silent treatment?!”

Doyoung just shrugged as he took a bowl and poured soup into it, “I don’t know…”

“Nice to hear you are still able to speak—”

“Are you not mad?” Doyoung cut me off before I could finish my sarcastic remark and I glared at him.

“I’m very mad, but it doesn’t mean that I’ll stop acknowledging you, yeah? What kind of shit person does that?” I rolled my eyes and Doyoung chuckled, throwing a glance at me as he sat at the table to eat.

“The me kind of shit person apparently.” I chuckled and resumed eating as Doyoung did too. I lowered the volume of the TV a little bit and turned back towards him again, taking in his attire. His uniform changed; I didn’t notice it this morning.

“You have a new uniform?” I asked with a grin and Doyoung nodded, looking down at himself.

“Yeah, I got it today.” I nodded and bit into the meatball.

“Well, congratulations—next time lock the mafia guys up, yeah?” Doyoung paused and I knew it was too soon to joke about this, but I wasn’t exactly joking. My tone wasn’t playful at all and Doyoung sighed, wordlessly nodding as he started slurping his soup.

“Were you that hungry? You didn’t even change…” I wondered as Doyoung finished eating and stood up.

“No, but I have to go to the funeral house. It’s Sana’s watcher…” My lips formed a thin line as I nodded, finishing my dinner wordlessly as Doyoung moved around the kitchen. He squeezed some lemon in his water and drank it, closing his eyes for a second. His body seemed tense and he was hunched a little forward as he washed away the dishes he used.

“Don’t come too late, you should rest more.” I said as Doyoung nodded and put on his shoes, taking his keys.

“You too, don’t wait for me.” He said and I nodded, watching him leave the house. The locked the door and I sighed, getting up from the couch. I walked to the sink and washed the plate and fork I used, putting them away. I left the TV on as I just wanted to change into my pajamas and go back to watch something before bed. But as I reached my door, I heard footsteps outside the front door and knocking. Rolling my eyes, I walked to the front door and unlocked it, ready to tease Doyoung for forgetting something at home again. But it wasn’t Doyoung. I froze as I stared at Wonwoo’s face, goosebumps suddenly covering my body. Then I realized it was Wonwoo and quickly tried to slam the door closed, but Wonwoo was quick to react and he started pushing it back. I hissed and put all of my weight against it, struggling to close it as Wonwoo was pushing just as hard to open it up. I was wearing socks and my right leg slipped on the tiles and Wonwoo gained advantage as my weight shifted. He was able to push it wide enough to slip inside and I quickly abandoned the thought of trying to keep him out of the house and ran to the cupboard full of knives. I quickly opened it and took out the sharpest knife we had and turned around, just in time as Wonwoo almost reached me.

“Stay away!” I pointed the knife at him and he stayed rooted, his sharp eyes gazing into mine, “What do you want? I didn’t say anything to anyone—Doyoung already knew about you! You want your bloody t-shirt?! It’s in my room!”

Wonwoo remained silent and I jerked my hand slightly, showing him that I wasn’t afraid to stab him. I wouldn’t go down without a good fight, in case he thought I was scared of him. Which I was, but I was angrier right now and it ruled over my fear.

“I just came to talk.” Wonwoo said calmly and I chuckled dryly, rolling my eyes.

“Oh, nice talking. This is how you usually do it? You break into someone’s house and get threatened by a knife and then just…talk?”

“I usually don’t get threatened.” Wonwoo answered with a shrug and I huffed, eyes darting towards my phone that was on the coffee table. If I outsmart Wonwoo, I can get to my phone and run inside my room and jump out the window. Then he can try and talk to me, but I won’t be here anymore.

“Well…less stressful for you, I guess.” I tried stalling, gripping the knife tighter, “But I’m not in the mood to talk.”

“Just listen to me, I’m not here to hurt you.” Wonwoo’s voice softened and his eyes did too as he tried pleading me with his gaze. I rolled my eyes and then lunged towards him, without the intention of stabbing him. I just wanted to take him off guard, to distract him. And it worked as he jumped back with a gasp, his sharp eyes widening. I dropped the knife and pushed him hard, making him fall onto his butt. I quickly ran around him and got to the fridge when I was grabbed. Well, obviously my plan wasn’t a smart one and this is why Doyoung checked on me regularly. I really needed someone to look after me. I yelped as Wonwoo’s arms went around my waist and roughly yanked me back, pinning me against the table with his body. He didn’t look very pleased and my heart started beating quickly, thinking of a way to free myself from his grip. I could either kneel him or just try and headbutt him, but it seemed like Wonwoo guessed what I was thinking as his lean and muscular body molded into mine. My wrists were pinned to the table and I shivered, his cologne hitting my nose hard. He smelled like musk and gunpowder again and he was so close I could count his lashes if I wanted to. I craned my head back and tried to move around, but it only made me feel more parts of body and that was too much just yet.

Look at this compromising position, Y/N. All you have to do is lean in and open your knees, isn’t that what you’ve wanted all along? We are guessing Wonwoo wants the same thing…not that we are complaining.

I tried to remain unexpressive as the voices suddenly returned and were very loud, of course they’d come back in a situation like this one.

“Well, this is very uncomfortable.” I said quietly, maintaining the eye contact with Wonwoo. My heart was beating fast and I could feel the heat in my cheeks. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. Why do I still like him? After yesterday…how can I still like him?

“Well, you didn’t give me a choice.” Wonwoo muttered, his low voice vibrating against his chest and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” I scoffed and then glared at him, “why would I want to talk to a criminal? Let alone give him a chance to explain himself?”

“Did you let your brother explain himself?” Wonwoo’s eyebrows rose and I glanced away, trying to free my wrists again.

“Kind of…” Wonwoo just hummed and lessened his hold on my wrist so that it didn’t hurt anymore. The bicep he squeezed so hard was now a beautiful shade of green and purple.

“Then it’s my turn—”

“Whatever Wonwoo, I really don’t care. You’re part of the mafia and you robbed the jewelry shops Mark asked me to watch yesterday. And then you had to run away because Mark alerted the police thanks to me and then very sadly you got in the same cab with me. And look at my bicep, you did that.” I snapped, looking down at the bruise as Wonwoo’s gaze followed. His eyebrows furrowed and he sighed, looking back up at me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” He muttered with remorse as he looked at it again. His words and reaction were genuine but I just rolled my eyes.

“A little late for that, now—” I shoved myself into him, but it did nothing, “Let go of me.”

Wonwoo’s lips pulled in a straight line and he shook his head, seemingly thinking about what to do next. But I started struggling and trying to move him back so that I would be able to knee him. But he probably knew that was what I was trying to do and squeezed my legs together between his.

“God, the second I get out of your hold I will beat you up so badly, Wonwoo, no one will be able to recognize you—” Wonwoo’s deep laughter echoed in the house as I looked at him menacingly. I wasn’t joking, I really wanted to beat him up and I would, but I needed to free myself first.

“I love how you underestimate me; the shock will be bigger once I’m done—” But Wonwoo’s laughter was so contagious that I had to fight back my own. His nose was scrunched up and I just noticed how he wasn’t wearing glasses. His hair was styled back and he seemed to be wearing some fancy clothes, his pants were silky. He was very attractive, but I tried to ignore my sudden thirst for him. So, I looked away and he slowly stopped laughing, my eyes fell on the front door as I tried coming up with another escape route. But on the ground were five white lilies and I felt my mind go blank as I stared at them. There’s no possible way anyone brought those in, Doyoung and I never buy white lilies, and Wonwoo is the only one that just barged in. Wonwoo.

“Oh my God,” I muttered in despair, looking at Wonwoo all frantic, “Did you—bring those flowers? Wonwoo?!”

Wonwoo looked at the flowers and cleared his throat, looking back at me, “Yeah.”

“Oh my God.” I muttered again and felt like a deer caught in headlights. It was Wonwoo all along? What is happening? I don’t understand anything anymore!

Well…at least you found out who your secret admirer is. And it’s Wonwoo, you should be happy it’s him and not some old creep—

“Shut up!” I exclaimed, squeezing my eyes shut, “This can’t be happening. No fucking way.”

Wonwoo looked confused when I opened my eyes and looked at him, “You were breaking in our house for two weeks?!”

“You’re the one to make a scene, huh?” Wonwoo suddenly raised his voice and his eyes narrowed as he started glaring at me, “You’ve been stalking me for two weeks.”

I gaped at him and blinked, taken off guard, “I—I wasn’t—what?”

“Yeah, you really thought I wouldn’t know?” He chuckled unamused, “I’m surprised it took you this long to realize it was me bringing the flowers.”

My eyebrows furrowed and I looked at him confused, “How was I supposed to know?! I thought you had no idea I was watching you—”

“Stalking me.”

“Stalking you, whatever,” I rolled my eyes, trying to make sense of the situation, “It doesn’t give you the right to break in my room and—were you marking your territory or some shit mafias do? Were you showing other mafias that you were to be the one to kill me—”

“What nonsense are you talking about?” Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrowed and I tried to push him away again, my back was becoming numb, “You fantasize too much. Mafias don’t do that, but—”

“But what?!” I snapped, eyes widening.

“I did think of killing you in the first three days of you stalking me.” Wonwoo finished with a smirk. My heart skipped another beat as I started breathing faster, his musky scent made me feel dizzy.

“What?!” I exclaimed and started struggling against Wonwoo again, trying to free myself, “For God’s sake, I can’t feel my back anymore, Wonwoo!”

He gave me a look that said if I tried running away again he’d tie me to a chair and leave me there until Doyoung returned, he probably would’ve gagged me too, so I just sighed and let go of all muscles, softening my body. Wonwoo’s eyes gazed into mine intently and his hold slowly loosened as he seemed to lean in subconsciously. My eyes fell onto his lips and realized how plump his upper lip was, but we both snapped out if at the same time as he stepped back and I jumped away from the table, breathing hard. I massaged my lower back as best as I could as I licked my lips and looked at Wonwoo with a glare.

“I don’t like what I’m about to say—” And I took a deep breath and watched as Wonwoo started smirking again, “But what if…we both just forget about all the shit we did and…go on and live our lives like we never met. And, I don’t know, get some therapy as we both apparently need it badly.”

My words made Wonwoo laugh again and I actually smiled this time too, feeling tired after all the new information dumped on me.

“I can’t do that,” Wonwoo said once his laughter died down, “I can’t continue living like I never met you.”

I shrugged and ran my hands through my hair, looking away from him, “Well, I can and I will. So, you better do the same or else I’ll tell Doyoung about everything and he’ll be really pissed and won’t care about Mingyu or whoever, yeah?”

Look at our Y/N lying like that, as if all of this didn’t happen because of her.

I felt Wonwoo move closer to me and his fingers ghosted over the bruise on my left bicep, “Can you really pretend I don’t exist? When you started this?”

“I didn’t start shit!” I snapped and turned my body away from his, “I stalked you for two weeks and I won’t do it anymore because I got over you. I always do. It never lasts for long, you’re not special.”

But he is Y/N, you know it. He knows it.

“Really?” Wonwoo muttered with a small smile and I just shrugged, avoiding his gaze, “Because I watched you the whole time we were in the same Coffee Shop. You were following that businessman, working for Mark, I assume. I noticed how you couldn’t stay still and how you whispered things to yourself. How the barista lit up when she saw you and talked to you. If you wouldn’t have stalked me after that day, I would’ve still found you.”

I just gulped and felt all the anger, frustration, fear melt away as I slowly looked at Wonwoo, “But you broke inside my bedroom…to give me flowers…”

My voice was small and he nodded as he stepped closer, placing his palm on my cheek. I almost jumped at how warm his palm was again and tried to ignore the rapid beat of my heart, “And I was wrong to do that…sorry.”

“Sorry for stalking you.” I muttered and a small grin appeared on Wonwoo’s lips as he closed the distance between our bodies again.

“I’m also sorry for the other bad things I did.” Wonwoo added.

“Yeah, fuck you.” I said with a chuckle and his grin widened into a smile.

You’d love that, wouldn’t you, Y/N?

I rolled my eyes at the voices but Wonwoo didn’t react as he leaned down and his red lips pressed against my cheek, making me blush instantly. Why did I forgive him so easily? Maybe because both of us fucked up big time this time.

“I still expect to see you tomorrow at lunch for our date, so tell Mark to stay at home.” My eyes widened as Wonwoo stepped back, letting go of my cheek.

“How do you know—”

“I’m in the mafia, remember? I know everything.” He winked and walked towards the front door.

“And you called me the stalker.” He chuckled as he opened the door and stepped outside.

“Don’t tell Doyoung just yet, he’s very mad for what I did yesterday—”

“Yeah, me too.” I cut him off and Wonwoo gave me an apologetic smile.

“Sleep well.”

“Don’t break in my room anymore!” I called out as he walked down towards the gate, turning around to wave at me. I rolled my eyes and closed the front door, locking it. Jesus, this really is not how I expected things to turn out. I don’t think I need to watch any TV to feel sleepy. This is my cue to rest and worry about what to wear tomorrow for lunch.

You can wear whatever, Wonwoo is head over heels for you, Y/N. And as we’re seeing, you’re too for him.