#and then suddenly david is wearing a suit made out of wood

[literatemisfit]

Dreamed of literal sad wet cat David Tennant dripping in beer last night, post prank

[butcher7predator]

Julia was a 14 year old girl with messy brown hair and green eyes ,but there was one thing that made her different from all the other girls, she had hormonal disorder, something called "Gigantism", she was about 2 meters(6'6 ft) tall with broad shoulders and long hands. Even though she looked dangerous and big she was actually a rather calm and quiet girl, who was afraid of people and the outside world. Other kids at school were much shorter than her. Sometimes she would push someone harder on accident because she was stronger and bigger but she didn't want to hurt anyone, that was just because of her size and she couldn't control it, but the others didn't want to listen to her. They were afraid of Julia and they even made fun of her, they made her feel like a monster. They called Julia a bunch of different names like: "Butcher", "The giant", "Grizzly" but the most popular name was "Monster". Her parents never wanted her so she lived with her grandfather Peregrine. He was soldier in WW2 so naturally Julia wanted to be a soldier just like her grandfather..... Peregrine liked to lock Julia in the basement to "punish" her but the truth is he just hated her, it was because he hated his son David, Julia's father. When David was younger he used to make a lot of trouble and was a burden to his father, so when Julia was born he didn't want anything to do with her. Peregrine was mad because his son was so negligent and he hated his own daughter, but Peregrine didn't like taking care of her and spending his money on her. It was unfair, none of it was Julia's fault. Peregrine's basement had a lot of old books about mythological monsters. Julia could really relate to them, monsters were big and people were scared of them, and so was Julia. She would always notice how people were looking at her, they were scared of her big figure and they would keep their children away from her when they saw her on street even if she did nothing wrong and wasn't aggressive towards anyone. "Just like the monsters from the books" she thought to herself. The next week Julia's school had a performance in which Julia was forced to be. She walked onto the stage and was full of hope that she'll do her role the best she can and that maybe she'll impress her classmates. She was on the stage with heart full of hope that something would change but...when she showed herself the kids from her class and other people in the audience started laughing and throwing stuff at her, some of the parents even started to comment on her looks. The girl lost her temper and she whispered "So they don't like me? Heh.. I can't be pretty? Okay then I'll be scary, I'll show them the real meaning of being a monster..". She left the school yard and ran into the woods with an axe in her hands, she knew there were a lot of wolves there . She waited and waited and then she heard a wolf growling behind her "Oh, good, there you are.." she thought to herself and in one swing of the axe she killed the wolf. When Julia picked up the wolf's body she came into Peregrine's old workshop. Inside she found some old pliers and hammer and with them, she took out the wolf's teeth and put them in as her new teeth :). Later that night her grandfather noticed that she wasn't in the house and that his old uniform disappeared. He walked into his workshop to find Julia but the only thing he saw was a pool of blood on the table and the corpse of a toothless wolf on the floor. "What did that brat do in here?" He said, he was terrified of this horrific scene. Suddenly he felt someone wrap their fingers around his neck from behind. The grip on his neck grew tighter and tighter, Peregrine started to cough and swear but person didn't let him go. He somehow managed to turn around and when he did he saw the worst thing in his life, it was his granddaughter with a disgusting smile on her face with her new teeth showing, he asked "Julia what's wrong with your teeth and why are you wearing my uniform?"...

"It just suits me better" She said and she finally strangled Peregrine to death. The next day, David, Julia's father, came to beg his daughter for forgiveness but all he found was a dead man on the floor. He looked at the gruesome scene so he turned around and never went back.

[babymetaldoll]

Stargazing (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: No, but I needed some hardcore fluff

Summary: The team is “forced” to go camping, and Spencer finally decides to make “his move” on Reader.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/ Reader

Category: Hardcore fluff

Warnings: Zero

Word count: 3,2K

Masterlist

-

-

It was the first time the BAU didn't argue Strauss's decision. She had walked into the conference room and explained to the team that the FBI had decided each department had to do a workshop related to teamwork and trust.

- "You will spend this weekend camping together. You will be part of a Team-Building Training Workshop"- Strauss wasn't excited about the idea of her best team wasting a whole weekend. But she was glad her department didn't have to do the activity. She hated camping.

- "Are you telling me we have to spend our weekend in sleeping bags, singing kumbaya?"- Rossi raised an eyebrow and looked at Erin, and she didn't move a muscle- "I'm out."

- "David, I'm not asking you if you want to do it. The whole team has to be part of this activity, that includes you."

- "Come on, Rossi,"- Prentiss smiled and tried to cheer him up- "It will be a nice change from catching serial killers for a weekend.

- "Really, Emily?"- Rossi crossed his arms on his chest and looked at Reid- "Hey, kid. How many dead bodies are found each year in the woods in the country?"

- "Over 2.543 last year,"- Spencer answered. And didn't stop talking, of course- "We can not be sure they were all serial killer related cases. The most common ways to die in the woods are drowning, car accident, and suicide."

- "Suicide it is."- David whispered. He knew it was going to be a long weekend.

Even when he wasn't a person who loved camping and outdoor activities, Spencer was excited to spend the weekend with the team, especially with (Y/N). His teammate, best friend, and secret crush. Ok, it wasn't really a secret.

Of course, everybody knew about Spencer's feelings. He never successfully hid them from the team. You didn't need to be a profiler to notice each time (Y/N) walked into a room, Reid's eyes would follow her, and his cheeks blushed. When they sat together in the jet, Spencer would always be too self-aware of his own movements. He would try not to move, especially when she had fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder. And when they were working on a case together, he would always cover her on the field, and he would make sure she was safe, even when the unsub was already caught.

He loved her. Even a blind man could see. Except for (Y/N), of course. Because according to her own words: "There's no way Spencer Reid is in love with me. He would never look at me that way. He is perfect, and I'm a mess. He deserves the perfect genius girl."

-

- "Ok, Romeo, this weekend is the perfect opportunity for you to make your move"- Derek and Reid were alone in the SUV on their way to the retreat.

- "Sure. Because there's no better time to make a fool out of myself than in front of all my friends in the middle of nowhere."

- "What's with the attitude, pretty Ricky? Relax"- Morgan frowned and put on some music, singing along for a moment. Reid looked at him and raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh.

- "Ok man, picture this: you, your pretty lady, in the middle of the night, gazing at the stars together, alone in the middle of the forest. The full moon is the only light."

- "Who are you? since when are you a romance expert?"

- "Hey! I can be romantic!"

- "I've seen you get girls only by raising an eyebrow"- Reid argued, and he was right. It had happened once, but that was another completely different story.

- "What I'm trying to tell you is that you have the perfect chance to tell her how you feel during this trip"- Spencer was about to start debating that idea when Derek continued.

- "And stop saying she has no feeling for you!"

Reid bit his tongue and looked at the road. Neither of them said a word for the next couple of minutes. Until Spencer whispered

- "But she doesn't"

- "She does!!"- Derek nearly yelled

- "Why are you so sure?!"

- "Because she told Penelope she is in love with you!!"

The silence in the car was as intense as the red in Spencer's cheeks. Derek knew he shouldn't have said that, but he was tired of seeing his best friend's sad eyes each time he stared at (Y/N). Someone had to do something, and he knew neither of them would make the first move.

- "Are you sure?"- Reid's mouth was hanging open- "I mean, maybe she was joking."

- "No, she was honest. So please, this weekend, make your freaking move."

-

How could Spencer ever make his move? He had no idea. He didn't even have a "move"! But something inside of him felt a little more confident now.

That didn't show on the outside at all, 'cos during the whole day, he was more clumsy than ever. He dropped his coffee. He failed the first two attempts to set up his tent and nearly fell carrying logs for the fire.

He wanted to dig a hole and hid.

But (Y/N) didn't notice any of that. Not because she didn't pay attention, but because she was oblivious to any of those things. She just couldn't stop staring: He was wearing jeans. Spencer Walter Reid was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. (Y/N) thought she was going to have a heart attack when he got out of the car.

Sure, yes, she had seen him outside work in a more casual outfit, but nothing prepared her for Spencer's camping clothing. It suited him too well for his own good.

- "Hello? Anybody there?"- Prentiss waved at (Y/N). She and JJ stood in front of her, trying to catch her attention.

- "Jesus! you look like a schoolgirl today!"- JJ teased her, laughing- "Can you be more obvious?"

- "What are you talking about?"- (Y/N) tried to look all innocent and continued setting the logs for the campfire.

- "If Spencer wasn't so clueless about your feelings, I swear you two would be already married,"- Emily joked and helped (Y/N) with the logs. The young SSA just shook her head and tried to keep her eyes from Reid for as long as she could. She successfully did it for five minutes. That day's record.

- "(Y/N), hey"- he stood by her side, and she quickly stood up.

- "Hey, how are you doing?"

- "Good... you?"- she just nodded and smiled. She really was acting like a schoolgirl in front of Spencer- "Great... hey, I thought maybe tonight you would like to do some stargazing with me..."- Emily and JJ heard him and nearly squealed. They tried to look away, but it was impossible. They needed to know what was happening. Where was García? she was going to be so mad she missed that.

- "Yeah! I'm sure tonight we can see way more stars than on your building's roof like last time."

(Y/N) answered, smiling, thinking there was nothing more romantic than being underneath a starry sky, listening to Spencer talking about constellations.

- "Ok, kids,"- Rossi's voice stepping out of his huge camper interrupted them and forced everybody to turn around- "Let's do this trust thing we are forced to do before it's lunchtime. Maybe we can manage to go home early."

-

Of course, they weren't. The whole team had to work as a unit to fulfill a series of activities an expert team the FBI had hired forced them to do. Aaron thought it was unnecessary, considering they worked on the field together, and they trusted each other with their lives all the time. But he was also sure his team needed a break, and everybody could use some fresh air.

- "Great work, team"- Hotch hugged everybody and smiled when the whole activity was done- "I think we've earned a nice dinner."

- "Please don't tell me we have to hunt our food"- Penelope wide opened her eyes suddenly and looked at Hotch- "I can eat blueberries."

- "Don't worry, kids"- Rossi shook his head and pointed to his camper- "Anyone in the mood for a nice steak?"

- "I bought marshmallows for the campfire later,"- (Y/N) said and smiled- "You are never too old for some s'more."

- "Scary stories by the fire eating s'mores? I'm ten years old again"- JJ looked excited- "I need to do this with Henry."

- "Just don't tell him your "I'm scared of the woods because I found the camp director dead" story." - Derek said, smiling.

- "You freaked out!"- JJ chuckled, remembering how she had scared her friends a few years earlier while working on a case in the woods.

- "I need to hear that story!"- Emily said- "I bet it's no better than mine, I'm sure."

- "Battle of horror stories?"- (Y/N) smiled evilly- "You two have nothing on me."

-

The evening was fun and a little terrifying. Garcia was holding Derek's arm so tight it was starting to feel numb. Rossi and Hotch had told a couple of stories that left the team completely frightened, to be fair. Especially Spencer. He had forgotten an essential part of his plan: nights in the woods are dark as pitch. And he was afraid of the dark. How would he successfully take (Y/N) to a nice spot, sit down and stare at the stars with her if he was too scared to move from the fire?

(Y/N) looked at Reid and sighed. Maybe he had regretted it. Of course, he hasn't forgotten his invitation, 'cos Spencer remembered everything. Still, he hadn't made any move or sign to go stargazing. Being alone with him in the dark was scary but in the right way. Maybe she could finally tell him how she felt. No, no way. That wasn't going to happen.

- "Ok, so... it's late, and we are out of wine"- Rossi stood up and looked at the team- "I am ready to go to my comfy bed"- the rest of the team groaned. They were going to spend the night in a tent, probably freezing, while Rossi was going to be in his warm camper.

- "I'm going to sleep too, we have trekking in the morning, and it's going to be a long walk. I suggest you all go to bed early."- Hotch stood up and waved at the team, to then walk to his tent."

- "Sweet chocolate thunder, is there room in your tent for me?"- Penelope asked, and he chuckled immediately

- "Are you still scared of the stories? they are just made up things people create to terrify us."

- "I know. But I'm also scared of bears, psycho killers, and slender man"- Morgan looked at her, raising an eyebrow. She wasn't joking.

- "Bring your sleeping bag."

- "You are my hero. I love you."

Prentiss and JJ went to bed soon after, leaving the two love birds alone.

- "Stargazing?"- Reid whispered, and (Y/N) nodded- "We should find a darker stop... or we can stay here by the fire if you like."

- "Are we going to get a nice view here?"- (Y/N) looked at the stars and tried to see anything.

- "No, it has to be darker,"- Spencer whispered, taking a look around- "There was a nice spot by the cliff, that way."

- "I don't think walking to a cliff in the middle of the night is a good idea"- (Y/N) smiled, and Reid shook his head

- "You are right..."

- "But we can walk carefully and carry a flashlight,"- she added and smiled, looking at him. His brown curls moved with the wind, and his chocolate eyes were brighter than the sparks of fire next to them.

- "That sounds good."

Spencer stood still for a second. He had a blanket in one hand and a bag of marshmallows in the other. (Y/N) put on her scarf and jacket and stared at him.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah."

He wasn't. He was trying to calm himself down, thinking that walking in the middle of the dark was worthy because it meant spending time alone with (Y/N).

He kept telling himself he didn't have to worry because nothing was going to happen. He wished he had his gun with him in case of any danger, though. Maybe that could make him feel better.

- "You can't kill darkness, stupid"- he whispered to himself and sighed. (Y/N) walked a step closer and took the marshmallow bag. Then, she held his hand.

- "Let's go?"

That was all Spencer needed. He was ready.

- "Did you know astronomy is the oldest of the sciences?- Reid whispered as they walked hand in hand to a nice clear spot - "Ancient astronomers were able to differentiate between stars and planets, as stars remain relatively fixed over the centuries while planets will move an appreciable amount during a comparatively short time."

- "And when did you start learning about the stars?"- Spencer loved that. How each time he started rambling, she wouldn't get annoyed like the rest of the people he knew. Instead, she would always ask him something related to the subject. And it was usually something personal. She wanted to learn more about him and how he had ended up being such an amazing human being.

- "When I was four, mom started taking me regularly to the library. That was when I started to learn more about science. I could pick ten books each time we were there, and I decided I wanted to know everything I could about everything I loved."

Spencer confessed and smiled, looking at her. His heart was warm with their conversations. He was never comfortable talking about his personal life, especially about his childhood. But with (Y/N), it all came naturally.

- "How often did she take you?"

- "Every other day"- she chuckled and remembered the pictures Diana had shown her of Spencer when he was a little kid last time they visited her. He was adorable, with his glasses and his messy hair. It was impossible not to imagine having a family with him.

- "This is it... this is a good spot."- Spencer said and stopped walking. He moved a log and tapped on it, smiling at (Y/N). She sat with him, and he wrapped them together with the blanket.

- "So, what am I staring at?"- (Y/N) asked and kept her eyes on the starry sky. It seemed she had never seen so many stars. And they even looked closer. Spencer looked at her, and his heart skipped a beat. He was about to start a lecture on astronomy, but instead, he decided to do "his move." Or the move he could think of. He didn't really know if it was a move, but he was going to give it a shot anyway.

- "Most stargazers learn about constellations looking for different noticeable patterns across the sky"- he made a pause clearing his throat. That was it. He was going to do it.

- "That's how it all started,"- he continued- "Some of these noticeable patterns up there are still the same ones our ancestors noticed while sitting around a campfire telling stories like we did today."

- "Telling stories about the stars sounds a lot less creepy, though" - (Y/N) whispered, and the two of them smiled- "Wanna tell me a story about these stars?"

There was no way Spencer could say not to her puppy eyes.

- "Ok... let's see..."- Reid sighed and thought for a moment, looking at the constellations above them- "Do you see those stars over there that look like a cute bunny?"

- "Which ones?"- Spencer pointed at the sky, and (Y/N) nodded- "I see them"

- "Well, you'll see, there was a comet in love with the bunny, but it could only look at her from a safe distance."- Spencer finally confessed. (Y/N) held her breath for a second and tried not to get her hopes high.

- "Why?"

- "Well, the comet was afraid he wasn't good enough for the bunny"- Spencer was whispering, and his soft voice sent shivers to (Y/N)'s body- "So he stared at his favorite constellation every day and only imagined what it would feel like to hold her in his arms."

- "And the bunny never saw the comet?"- (Y/N) asked softly, while very, very slowly, she moved her hand and reached Spencer's.

- "The bunny thought the comet just wanted to be her friend because he was scared to tell her how he felt,"

(Y/N) kept thinking there was no way on earth Spencer was telling her how he felt about her with that adorable story. Was he? Really? 'cos it was too romantic, and if he wasn't and she was wrong... it would be heartbreaking. But, there was only one way to find out.

- "I think the bunny felt the same, but she thought she wasn't good enough for the comet"- Spencer's heart raced at those words, and he turned to look at (Y/N). She blushed and stared at him with a shy smile.

- "Why would the bunny ever think that?"

- "The comet is too brilliant and too amazing to settle for a simple constellation when he could have the sun."

(Y/N) was embarrassed to confess those feelings, but it was now or never.

- "But the bunny is the sun in the comet's life."- Spencer whispered and caressed her cheek with his thumb carefully.

- "Really?"- her voice was so soft, it melted Spencer completely. He couldn't answer. All he could do was to lean in slowly and kissed her as gently as he could, enjoying the sensation of her lips against his. He cupped her face with both hands and moved a little closer.

It was the sweetest kiss he had ever given. It wasn't just because (Y/N)'s lips tasted like marshmallow, but because it was filled with pure love. He could feel it, even when he still couldn't believe it. She loved him. She really did.

(Y/N) was sure that wasn't really happening. She had probably fallen down the cliff earlier and was now unconscious or dead, living a fantasy. There was no way Spencer Reid was kissing her.

When they slowly moved and looked at each other, neither of them knew what to say. So (Y/N) did what she always dreamed of doing and leaned in and kissed him again. Spencer didn't hesitate and wrapped his arms around her waist, moving her closer to him. Her hands played shyly with some of the curls of his hair, and they simply kissed for what seemed to be forever, even when it wasn't enough time for them. Spencer felt he could kiss her his whole life, and he still wouldn't get enough of her.

- "So..."- (Y/N) whispered after some minutes and looked at Spencer, blushing- "Do you think the comet and the bunny could... maybe try to be more than friends?"

He smiled and kissed her again, rubbing her lips carefully with his; (Y/N) sighed into the kiss.

- "The comet is willing to do anything the bunny asks him because he just wants to make her happy all day, every day."

(Y/N) couldn't speak. She could only kiss him again and again.

- "Bunny just wants her comet to be happy too."

- "Then would Bunny be the comet's girlfriend?"- she giggled and nodded- "Good, because I don't think I could ever live without your kisses ever again, Bunny."

- "Neither do I, Comet"

And after that, stargazing was forgotten. There were enough stars in their kisses to keep the two of them lost in their own new universe. 

[alenajg]

Vampire’s New Maid/Jimin x Reader

Chapter 2: The Boss

Warnings: mentions of blood.

Chapter 1

…………………………………………………………

“Miss? Miss, you need to wake up.” the driver grunts waking me up from my somewhat restless sleep. “ Hmm? Yes, I am up now sir.” I said gradually blinking my eyes open. Through mid-stretch I realized I don't know the driver's name, so I asked, “Um Sir, if you don't mind me inquiring, what is your name?” The man looks back at me through the review mirror with a hesitant glare in his gaze and speaks, “Why do you want to know? No one ever cares to ask unless I did something to offend them.” I immediately speak while shaking both my head and hands back and forth, “ No. No nothing like that at all. I just want to know, so I don't have to call you Sir all the time. Even a last name to call you by is more comfortable to me.” The man nods his head in understanding and there is a subtle smile at the edge of his mouth. “ Ah okay then my name is David Godfried. Since I gave you mine may I call you by your last name miss?” I smile at him politely, “ Thank you for telling me, Mr. Godfried, and yes you may.” Mr. Godfried gives me a full toothy smile,” Well Miss. L/N you should get going in the house. Mr. Park is waiting for you in his meeting room. Then the main Butler will greet you at the door and take you there.” I give him a grateful smile and an affirmative nod. “ Okie Dokie, thank you for telling me. That and also for picking me up and dropping me off.” Mr.Godfried replies, “You’re welcome Miss.L/N.” Slowly scooting to get out of the limousine I open the door and a gust of powerful wind and rain came into the car. “ Goodbye Miss.L/N “ I look back at him, “ Goodbye Mr.Godfried I wish you well.”

Getting out of the car I pull my coat closer toward my body. Looking away from the limousine I rapidly looked at the house and did a double-take of the beautiful view of the manor in front of me. The house has three stories with 25 windows on each level. At the end of the manor, there are rounded towers but are the same height as the rest of the manor. The tower-like structure has the same amount of levels as the rest of the manor, but on each floor, there is nothing but windows. At the top level, there is a balcony to overlook the hundreds of acres. The other tower-like structure is exactly the equivalent on the opposite side. Under each window of the manor, lights are pointing up at it and eliminating each window that makes the manor look like a golden yellow.

At the entrance, there are double doors that look like mahogany wood with big knockers, and the knockers are gold. Before that is an entrance porch with two large stone pillars holding up the stone cover and to get up to the porch you have to step up three stone steps. Right in front of me, there is a gravel pathway that leads to the front door, and on each side of the gravel pathway, there are Japanese Maple trees. Underneath the trees is dark green luscious grass.

Walking up the gravel path I feel the rocks move under my weight. Taking a final deep breath I step under the porch-like stone structure and use one of the knockers, which feels so smooth it seems like it is polished regularly.

After waiting for a few minutes the head butler opens the door and asks, “You are Mr. Park's new maid correct?” “ Yes Sir, my name is Y/N L/N,” I spoke with gentleness. The man has grey almost white hair and a scowling face. He wore a black turtle neck and black dress pants with leather shoes that shine so much I swear you almost get blinded by them. Opening one of the doors wider he speaks with a rushed, but harsh voice, “Come on! Come on now! We don't have all day to prance around like deer in headlights now do we! I have a job to accomplish and you have a meeting to be in.” “Oh!” I say shocked about his rudeness and how he pulls me into the manor to slam the door shut behind me. As much as I wanted to say excuse me I held my tongue and looked down towards my feet.

Not saying anything the elderly man turns around on the balls of his feet and starts walking up the stairs. Since his back was turned I quickly looked around the astounding manor while trying to keep up with him.

Outside the manor is all stone and glass windows except the door, but inside is just like the door everything interior-wise was mahogany. The doorways, the floors, the walls, and the stairs are all wood. Seeing the walls there was a pattern of squares on them that were sunken in, and the ceiling was wood as well, but there are patterns of swirls and circles highlighting the perimeters of the ceiling. On the sides of the walls about five feet apart are light fixtures that are crystal and gold. In the middle of the ceiling, there is a chandelier that looks like an upside-down tree. The area that would be the trunk and branches are gold, and the leaf like crystals are the lights. You can tell everything is up kept because everything has a gloss or shine to it.

Going up the stairs I noticed that there is a dark royal blue fluffy carpet, and at end of the first stir case there is two hallways that splits to go either east or west of the manor. Before the staircase ends it splits into two rounded staircases that go up to the second floor. Noticing this we go up on the right side of the staircase. The second level looks like a bunch of rooms and all the doors are open to see that they are unoccupied.

Thinking this is where we were going to stop I found out that I was corrected because the head butler went up another staircase, but this is a single staircase like the one on the bottom floor. Going up the staircase I noticed it was getting more bright and it smelled different, unlike the other floors. It smelt like citrus and mint with a touch of fresh air. Being directed to the west side of the manor we went to the very end of the hall where the tower-like structure is.

At the end of the hall, two twin-like doors are closed with handles that are made of gold and crystal. The head butler stops and speaks with a harsh tone, “Here is the meeting room where you will meet Mr.Park. After the meeting, he will show you to the room that you'll be staying in. Next, he will bring you to the head maid’s office so you can start working right away.” I wanted to reply as a thank you, but he simply turned and quickly walked away with his head held high.

Sighing I swiveled back around and knocked on the door because I didn't know if I was supposed to just walk in. Not hearing anything I peek my head in the room calling out, “Hello, Mr.Park?” Again nobody answered, so I walked in to look around and wait for him.

The place is full of windows and I can see a gorgeous view of the Japanese Maple trees and the infinite acres of green grass. Wanting a better look I went in-between his coffee table; made out of glass and gold, and one of his dark royal blue leather sofas. Then I had to go around his big desk made out of oak wood to get to the French glass doors leading to the balcony. Opening them I stepped out into the cold fresh air just to notice it stopped raining. Slowly walking further out onto the balcony just to lean on the stone railing to enjoy the view. Closing my eyes and breathing in the air I enjoyed my surroundings.

Suddenly I hear a sweet voice speak in a warning tone, “ Who are you, and why are you in my office?” Jumping out of my skin I hastily turn around to see a gorgeous man with threatening glazed brown eyes. His eyebrows lifted in question. I force down the clog in my throat and speak with what I hope is a respectful voice,” Mr.Park I am your new maid and blood donor Y/N L/N. I was showed here and was told to meet you here. I'm sorry if I offended you or broke any rules, Sir, please forgive me.” I look down at my feet and bowed in respect. He doesn't reply but walks closer towards me. He hums then speaks softly,” I am sorry if I scared you. I honestly forgot that you were coming today. Nice to meet you Miss.L/N, but next time don't come out on this balcony. I usually don't let anyone on here. It's more of a sacred space for me.” Gazing back up I see him smiling softly, so I nod my head and answer him truthfully. “ I see why it's absolutely lovely up here and soothing if I might say. I won't do it again though I am remorseful to invade your private space. It was unthoughtful of me. It's just when I came into your office Sir I was enamored by the beauty of it and wanted to come out to get a better look.” Looking around one more time I move past him to enter the meeting room. Turning to follow me he closes the French doors and spoke, “It’s okay, you didn't know Miss.L/N, and I know. That is the reason why I go out there”

Taking a breath and putting his hands together he speaks again as he moves to sit on one of the leather couches. “Now Miss.L/N I would like to ask you a few questions and after this meeting, I will show you to your room where you will be staying at. Okay?” Sitting down on the other leather couch that is opposite of Mr.Park I answer him. “ Okay, no problem ask away.”

Now taking in his attire he is wearing a silk looking suit jacket with a pattern of swirls that are blue and black. He is also wearing a silk white button-up and plain black silk fitted dress pants with leather black shoes.

“Why do you want to become a maid?” Mr.Park asks softly which comforts me. “I want to become a maid because of the good memories my mother has had as a maid. As much as my father was a farmer he did landscaping for the same boss and that's how they met. I wish to both be a maid and a landscaper for you Mr.Park because I want to carry on the legacy of my parents.” Throughout my speech, Mr.Park’s eyes became soft and gave me a small smile. “ I see...” he nods his head then speaks again, “I would like to see your landscaping ideas for the backyard, and as for being a maid what do you prefer to do?.”

After he said that I look up at him in excitement,” Oh really?! Thank you for such an opportunity, Sir. I am grateful and... Um, as for a maid I like to organize and help serve others when in need. I like to set up tables, do the dishes, and clean bedrooms.” When I was done speaking I stared at my lap to speak again, “I don't really like cleaning toilets, but I am okay with cleaning showers and countertops. I do like to do laundry and folding clothing it is very calming to me if I am stressed, angry at myself, or someone.” Not looking up until I felt him sit next to me on the couch. Looking up at him I noticed that he was searching for my eyes and I blushed. He chuckled softly at me, “Miss, you said everything except for cleaning a toilet and cooking. Is there anything you truly want to do as a maid?” I hesitantly speak my mind, “Well you see Mr.Park, my mother took care of her boss. She cleaned and pressed his suits. She brought his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She also organized his schedule and paper/documents. I honestly desire that I could do the same things she did, but I am not qualified, and her boss only allowed her because he was married and so was she. That is why I didn't ask you if I can do such a thing for as you know I am an unmarried woman, so therefore you must think it is inappropriate of me for suggesting such a thing.”

When his eyebrows raised and his mouth opened to an o shape I looked away in shame. “Wow um that is something, but it would benefit me in many ways, plus you did say that you will allow me to drink your blood, so you being around when I am in need will help. Although, it is inappropriate for I am also unmarried,” he sighs and looks away from me, so I speak with haste because I was afraid of offending him. “Sir, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything, please forgive me. I do not mean to offend you or put you in an uncomfortable position. You can assign me any position/job and I will be happy I promise you.” He looks back at me in shock, “ Not many humans are happy to be maids. Why is it so different for you? Plus, you didn't offend me, Miss.L/N I was just taken aback by what you said was all.” He puts his hand on my hand to squeeze it and lets go quickly after.

“ I am different Sir because I promised my mother to love my life and that is what I plan to do no matter what the situation is,” I spoke with confidence while looking directly into his brown eyes. Again, he looks at me with a shocked expression, and I couldn't hold my laugh in and because of my laugh he started grinning at me. “ You know what? I will allow you to do the same thing your mom did for her boss.” This time I am the one looking at him in surprise, but then I get super excited and hugged him out of instinct. “ Oh! Thank you, Mr.Park thank you!” He gently hugs me back, but then he asks me another question.

“Miss L/N? Why do you want to be a blood donor?” Pulling away from him and looking down with a small frown on my face I tell him,” It's because I need the money to pay off a medical bill.” “ What? Medical bill? What do you mean? Are you sick?” He asks in concern, but I instantly shake my head no. “No, I am fine, but my little brother is not, he is living with a lung disorder that without a machine helping him to breathe right now he would be dead. Some treatments can help him, but I can't afford it and I understood that being just a maid won't be enough, so I was willing to be a blood donor. I know it's not the answer you might not want to hear, but please understand.” I look desperately into his eyes, but he closes his eyes tightly and sighs, “But are you truly willing to give me your blood?” Gazing back at me seriously, so I turn to speak in embarrassment, “Yes, I am also curious. I have always heard about how it feels, but I truly want to try it. If I give you a percentage out of one hundred. I would give you ninety-two percent of my willingness I am to give you my blood Mr.Park.

He nods his head from learning insight before he speaks, “How about this, tonight I need to feed anyway, so I will come to you for blood. After I have drunk from you the next day I want you to tell me an honest percentage of how much you are willing to let me have your blood. Okay?” I give him a grateful smile and spoke respectfully, “Okay, and thank you for your gracious offer, Mr.Park.” “You’re welcome, but since your going to be at my beck and call. I want you to do two things for me. One is to call me by my first name Jimin, and two, you have to sleep close to my room, so you will not be with the other maids. Can you do that for me Y/N?” I nod my head enthusiastically. “Good, well come on let me show you your room.” He chuckles while standing up.

…………………………………………………………

Hello :) Here is the second chapter hopefully it is better than the first, and hope you enjoy it.

From,

Author Rain

[badacts]

eyes on me (pt.1)

this is a fic about Gotham’s revenant problem. set post-under the red hood but pre-death of the family

Tim’s language is information. The collection and the translation and the piecing together of the millions of fragments that make their way into his net each day. Tim’s not Oracle, but he’s no slouch - he can make the internet work for him, on top of the people he talks to and the whispers he catches from the air above alleyways at night. And then, once he has the data, he puts it together. He’s a detective.

He finds things he isn’t strictly looking for all the time. But it’s rare that one of those things makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

- boy, 15, found -

His comm hisses to life in his ear. “Red Robin. I have your position outside of your planned patrol route.”

Tim had been expecting Babs, not Batman, but he doesn’t reply. After all, it wasn’t a question. 

He wipes some rain from his forehead and keeps moving, flashlight aimed low. He’s out of costume - too conspicuous - but still, the last thing he needs is to attract attention. On the downside, his civvies are a long way from waterproof. By the time he gets home, he’ll be soaked to the skin.

“Are you working?” Bruce asks into the silence.

“Yes,” Tim says, which is mostly true. With them, the line between business and personal has always been exceptionally thin. 

Daniel de Silva...Mary Wolyncewicz...David Peter Andrews...Rachael and Lewis Therault…

Beloved, beloved, beloved. Rest in peace. And Tim’s personal favourite, devoted. 

He smells it before he sees it - under the scent of the rain, there’s dark earth, turning mud. He slows down, careful where he steps. 

The headstone lurches out of the dark, white as bone in the torchlight. Marc Rand, beloved son, apparently taken too soon. The dates confirm it - fifteen is very young to die.

It’s the ground before the headstone that Tim is interested in, though. The sod is folded backwards, dirt scattered in heavy clods on top of the grass. In the middle of it is a yawning hole, roughly made and already slumping back in on itself. 

In the bottom, Tim can see shattered wood and scarlet satin and no trace of a body.

That’s not much of a surprise to him. After all, that body was just checked into a hospital ten blocks away, complete with a pulse.

Tim hadn’t been looking. Instead, he’d heard that the Memorial Hospital had a sudden power outage that plunged the entire facility into darkness and silence for just under two minutes, when the electricity returned just as suddenly. The back-up generators had never come on. Three emergency surgeries had been interrupted and the intensive care ward had come back to life in a cacophony of alarms, but no one has died.

When Tim checked the revived CCTV cameras to find out whether the outage was intentional, he’d found one lone bed in the hallway of the emergency department, apparently abandoned in favour of people who could still be saved as ventilators sputtered out and vital monitoring equipment went dark.

The bed contained one John Doe, found with severe injuries and pronounced dead on the scene, according to the hastily-entered details in the records. Except, as Tim watched, the dead Doe sat up. And then the lights came back on.

Facial recognition had led him here, to a gravesite and a boy who’d died six months back, and a body that had either been forcibly dragged from the casket or climbed free under its own power. A body, or a boy, who’d apparently been walking into the middle of the street when a car hit him, killing him instantly. A body that had been transported to the hospital, forgotten on the way to the morgue, until it - he? - sat up and gave a passing nurse the fright of her life by asking for his mother.

Either Gotham EMTs are getting worse at telling a dead kid from a live one, or this is something in defiance of medical explanation. 

And this is Gotham. Anything can happen here. But something like this? Tim, with all of his experience with the crazy and the strange, can admit that the sight of a boy with half of his skull crumpled inwards, still wearing a mud-covered suit but sitting up under his own power, is fucking creepy.

So Tim’s here in the rain next to an empty grave, knowing there’s another empty grave a few rows over, and wondering if those two things are related.

Behind him, there’s a whisper of sound.

There’s a time and a place for a carefully maintained air of civilian reaction. A graveyard where the occupants seem to have trouble staying dead isn’t it. Tim spins, loosing the knife from its sheath on his forearm with a twist that drops the hilt into his palm, his flashlight going flying and flickering out as it hits the ground.

With it dead, the only source of light is the streetlight refraction from the clouds overhead. All Tim can see is a big, black shape behind him, and he strikes out and -

- stops.

It’s only many hours of blindfolded training in the cave that has him pausing in trying to push his knife through half an inch of woven kevlar into Batman’s throat underneath. That, and the span of Bruce’s hand, unmovable around Tim’s forearm.

For a moment, they’re both frozen. Then Bruce says, “A knife?”

Tim huffs a little, shaking the grip off his wrist and sliding the weapon back out of sight. “Sneaking up on me in a graveyard in the middle of the night?”

“It’s a fine piece,” Bruce notes, because he has a one-track mind and the advantage of the nightvision in his mask to actually see.

“I have expensive tastes,” Tim says automatically, which is actually only true in regards to clothes and cars. The knife, hilt detailed in delicate gold and green enamel and blade showing the ripples of quality steel, was a gift. It has the mark of the League of Shadows etched into the underside of the crosstree. “Why are you here?”

Bruce is silent, presumably because the answer is obviously I was concerned about you. He moves away briefly, and then returns to put something muddy into Tim’s hand that resolves into the flashlight after a moment of confusion. 

Tim flicks it back on, and as he does so the beam of light falls over the disturbed grave. Bruce, almost imperceptibly, stiffens.

“What is this?” he growls.

“I’m not sure yet,” Tim says, “But I’m going to find out.”

[seanshumblehome]

Randy Cunningham in:A Mystery at Hogwarts (Part 1).

    The Saturday morning sun shined brightly over Norrisville as the city bustled with the sounds of the early morning commute, but as the denizens of Norrisville made their morning drive to work they where being unknowingly watched by the city’s ever vigilant protector... Randy Cunningham A.K.A “The Ninja.” Randy stood on the top of a large building looking down at the traffic below, suddenly Randy leaped from the ledge and began falling, a smile formed under his mask as he felt the cool morning air rush against his covered face.Randy grabbed his magical scarf and threw it at lamp post and it tightly wrapped itself around the pole, with a strong yank Randy flew past the lamp post, landing on the roof of a car Randy leaped up and ran across the wall of a building.Leaping from the wall Randy continued running across the walls and rooftops of Norrisville as he made his way to Norrisville High School.Landing on the roof of the high school he could see a stage on the western side of the school, he watched as the crowed cheered as Heidi Weinerman took to the stage her bodyguard David Marshall following her to the desk that sat on the stage.Randy stretched making sure he was nice and loose for his big entry while Heidi began her intro.

“Welcome all my peeps to my first annual end of the year wrap-up, but I won’t be doing this alone, a special guest will be join us...“ Heidi paused as she watched the ninja land on the stage causing the crowd to erupt in cheers and chant his name as he casually strode to the couch.

”Ladies, Gentlemen, and all others, give a big welcome to...The Ninja of Norrisville!” Heidi shouted causing the crowd to once again erupt in cheers for the ninja.Crowd calmed as the ninja waved to them before taking his seat next to Heidi.

“It’s wonderful to have you with us again Ninja.” Heidi said cheerfully as shook his hand. 

“Wonderful to be here Heidi, you look nice.” Randy’s compliment caused Heidi to blush slightly while David quietly groaned to himself.

“Thank you, you look as... ninja-y as always, so Ninja we’ve got quite the show here so before we tackle are favorite moment’s of 2016, why don’t you tell us your favorite moment of last year.”Heidi asked

“Gladly.” Randy answered, “I would have to say that my favorite moment was when I-.” Randy continued before a six foot long arrow flew between Heidi’s desk and his chair, embedding itself in the stage backdrop right next to David startling him.”Excuse me a moment this won’t take long.” Randy said as he arose from the couch, the crowed watched as the Ninja leaped over their heads and on to the roof of the school.Upon landing Randy immediately noticed what had fired the arrow.Before him stood a twelve foot tall robotic miniature with a crossbow for a left arm and an axe for the right.

“Hello ninja, sorry for the interruption just trying to get my revenge for what you cost me.”The speaker said with a crackle.

“Hey Mcfist, dig the new look, fits you very well and also what?” Randy asked leaning on the pommel of his sword.

“My wish... the one the sorcerer offered me, the sorcerer you defeated and got all weird and sparkly before flying away.” Mcfist said aggravated.

“Oh right, yeah good times, anyways I’m going to kick your robots butt then get back to the wrap-up.” Randy said, the disinterest clear in his voice.

The robot and Randy rushed towards each other, ready to fight.

“Meanwhile.”

The Crowed watched as the ninja and the robot miniature fought, but one person in the crowed wasn’t watching the ensuing fight above and that person, was Doug.Doug merely glanced up from his book every once in awhile to make sure that everyone hadn’t run off to safety yet leaving him oblivious and in danger.as the fight progress and it seemed that the wrap-up had pretty much wrapped up to be continued at a later date.Doug booked marked his page, closed his book, then began to make his way home to handle somethings he needed to do back home.

“Meanwhile.”

With a loud thud the robot fell to the ground it’s decapitated head following soon after, Randy landed next to the metallic corpse then quickly mad his way back to the stage to see that Heidi had packed up her stuff and was getting ready to leave.

“Aw man, I’m too late am I.” Randy said disappointed.

“You think?” David said aggravated as he placed Heidi’s camera in it’s bag.

“Sorry ninja, you know how people are, we’ll try again on Monday alright.”Heidi said as she extended her hand out for a handshake.

“Name the place and the date.”Randy asked as he shook her hand.

“Same time and place.” Heidi answered as she released his hand before picking up her bag and slinging it on her shoulder.

Randy nodded in agreement and turned to leave but as he turned he noticed Doug or more specifically the person following Doug, dressed in all black and wearing a hoodie with snake on the back.Randy didn’t know why but somehow something seemed off about Doug’s new “friend”.Whether it was his heroic nature or the want to find out Randy quickly made his way to the rooftops and began trailing Doug and his pursuer.After following them for what seemed like an hour Doug and his pursuer went into an alleyway, Randy looked off the edge of the building to see that Doug’s pursuer had pushed him against the wall and began shouting at him and slamming him into the brick wall.

“Tell me where they are, I know they are here and if you don’t tell me where I’ll gut you and leave your guts for the rats you muggle blooded fool.”The Pursuer shouted as he shook Doug.

The pursuer turned to look down the alley to the ninja standing before him.

“Hey buddy! Let him go and you’ll walk, don’t and I’ll make sure you still walk away... with a limp.” Randy shouted.Whether he was that intimidating or the black clad pursuer realized he had better things didn’t matter to Randy as he watched the boy ran to the end of the alleyway and disappear behind the corner, Randy turned to face Doug to see if he was injured.

“You alright there bud?”Randy asked placing his hand on his shoulder.

“Y-yeah I’m fine just a little shaken.“Doug mummered nervously as he picked up his backpack without even looking at the ninja.

Randy watched as Doug hurriedly ran off, something was off, Randy knew that Doug was shy and awkward but he seemed like he was hiding something. Whether it was good or not Randy began to follow Doug from the rooftops, after following him home Randy carefully peered through Doug’s bed room window. The room was a mess with books and papers strewn about the room and clothes haphazardly thrown about his room.Randy shook his head in shame, how could he have his room like this, sure Randy’s room wasn’t much better but there was at least some organization to his mess, suddenly Randy was snapped out of his thought when he saw Doug shoot up from his chair grab what appeared to be a long black robe of a hanger with a lion in a shield embroidered on the right breast of the robe, Randy was in awe as he watched Doug recite some kind of magic spell and the books and papers in his room flew into a leather bag which Doug picked up before approaching his large wooden wardrobe, he opened it’s large wooden doors, walked in, and seemingly disappeared.Randy’s mind was a muck with questions, what was Doug hiding, who was that who attacked him in the alley, why the juice did he walk into his dresser.Either way Randy would find out, suddenly his phone began to buzz, taking it out he saw that it was Theresa calling him, he quickly answered.

“Oh hey Theresa, what’s up?”Randy asked, there was a slight pause followed by the sound of someone taking a deep breath.

“O-oh nothing I just wanted to know if you have any plans today?”Theresa nervously asked, fiddling with her hair.

“Yeah I do, I think Doug is doing something he shouldn’t so I’m looking into it.” Randy answered as he laid back on Doug’s roof.

“Oh... okay I understand.”Theresa replied, as she starred at the flowers Randy had given her after her unfortunate “incident” with Heidi.

“Why, did you need some help with something?”Randy asked as he sat up confused.

“N-No I was um... j-just asking out of curiosity because you know, it get’s pretty lonely here and I was uh hoping to h-hangout.”Theresa replied, her nerves almost getting the best of her.

Though confused Randy shrugged and continued, “Sure thing I wouldn’t mind, but it might take awhile, a long while.”Randy said as he got up from the roof preparing to enter Doug’s room.

“Don’t worry about Randy, I’ve always got time for you.”Theresa said, unknowing of what she fully said, Randy blushed slightly rubbing the back of his head.

“Heh thanks Theresa, that’s really kind of you, anyways I need to go, have a good one.”Randy said, he then ended the phone call and continued on with his investigation.

Randy opened Doug’s window and quietly entered, closing the window behind him, he then approached Doug’s large wardrobe and grabbed its large wood carved handles, taking a deep breath Randy opened it to see... nothing but some coats a suit and tie and a backpack, figure there was more to it Randy begrudgingly step inside, closing the doors behind him.After several minutes of waiting Randy grew frustrated, maybe there was an extra step he forgot, he opened the doors to see that Doug’s room had drastically changed, everything was different.His room went from the normal accommodations that a teenage boy would have to that of a bedroom fit for a prince.Where did he go? More importantly where did Doug go? Whatever structure this room belonged to Randy knew he’d have to go deeper to find Doug.Randy approached the door, griped the handle, and took a deep breath.

TO BE CONTINUED IN (part 2).

[thecomicsnexus]

IRON MAN #123-127 JUNE - OCTOBER 1979 BY DAVID MICHELINIE, BOB LAYTON, JOHN ROMITA JR, BOB SHAREN, BOB WIACEK AND BOB MCLEOD

SYNOPSIS (FROM MARVEL DATABASE)

While Iron Man is flying over Manhattan he suddenly loses control of one boot jet and crashes through Marvel Comics office building (and an editorial meeting) and only narrowly comes to a safe halt. 

He returns to Stark International to test the armor against its recent malfunctions but everything seems to be in perfect order. Tony takes Bethany out to Atlantic City for a day and they wind up in the casino when Blizzard, Melter and Whiplash arrive to rob the premises. 

While sneaking off to become Iron Man, Tony upsets Uranus Bliss at a slot machine. Iron Man is able to fend off each of the criminals but when the trio combine their attacks simultaneously hitting him with heat and freezing cold, his armor starts to weaken and Whiplash prepares to crack it open with his whip.

Bethany shoots Whiplash's whip in mid-strike blocking his strike against Iron Man giving him a chance to marshal his strength and defeat the Melter and Blizzard. 

A fleeing whiplash is knocked out by Bethany who then berates Iron Man for not doing his job and guarding Tony. Iron Man slips away and returns as Tony to finish his date with Bethany. 

The next day Tony returns to Stark International to prepare to welcome Serge Kotznin at the UN. Tony also monitors SHIELD's attempted buyout of his company and tries to avoid some of his responsibilities by patrolling as Iron Man. Later Iron Man arrives at the UN to represent Stark International to Kotznin at the treaty signing. While Bethany is present as Kotznin's bodyguard. 

Just as Kotznin and Iron Man are posing for photographers, Justin Hammer has Phillip Barnett activate their device controlling Iron Man's armor firing a repulsor ray through Kotznin killing him in front of hundreds of witnesses.

The police move in to arrest Iron Man for the death of Sergei Kotznin (the Carnelian ambassador) but he professes his innocence, saying he will need to be free to prove it and refuses to surrender. Aware that they cannot force him to surrender, the police give him the benefit of the doubt and let him go free, to Bethany's annoyance. In exchange, Tony promises to hand in the Iron Man armor. 

An hour later Tony gives an inoperable suit of Iron Man armor to the mayor to satisfy the authorities. Tony and Bethany argue over Iron Man's status and Tony winds up getting drunk afterward. 

Later Tony visits Avengers mansion and has Capt. America train him in hand-to-hand combat, knowing that he cannot rely on his armor while he seeks the persons responsible for Kotznin's death. Recalling that Whiplash is working for a "Hammer," Tony recruits Scott Lang to find out who Hammer is. He rings the answers from Whiplash. 

Tony heads to Monaco to find Justin Hammer with Jim Rhodes, who insists on accompanying him. Tony and Jim follow a lead to Hammer's location, where they run into costumed men in Hammer's employ. 

While being chased by these men, they head to the beach where more of Hammer's men suddenly emerge from the ocean ahead of them.

Jim Rhodes tries to explains his recent actions to the local police. They are surrounded by an angry crowd, which calls Rhodes an American pig and a Yankee hoodlum. Rhodes claims that a few minutes before, this whole beach was covered with armed goons. He was just fighting for his life. Someone then knocked his head and left him unconscious. He claims that his opponents left the beach while he was passed out. The crowd claims that Americans are liars, just like Tricky Dick. They blame Rhodes for destroying the beach, and want to teach him a lesson.

The police arrests Rhodes and one of the ringleaders of the angry crowd, intending to question them at the police headquarters. Rhodes wants the police to go after the goons, because they have abducted his boss. Rhodes further claims that he works for Tony Stark. The police officer in charge of the situation does not believe that Rhodes has any connection to Stark. He mocks Rhodes for his claim.

Tony Stark awakes at Justin Hammer's Villa and comes face-to-face with Justin Hammer himself. Hammer introduces himself and claims that Tony is his primary competitor. Tony points out that he had never even heard of Hammer. Hammer replies that he goes to great lengths to avoid official attention. He distributes his influence among a great many diverse enterprises. His power and holdings in the business world are second only to those of Tony Stark. Stark International has been a thorn in his side for some time. Hammer reveals that they recently competed for the contract with Carnelia. He had made a generous offer to the ambassador to get that contract. The ambassador chose Stark International instead, because he was fascinated with Iron Man.

Hammer leads Stark to a board room, where Phillip Barnett is working on opening Stark's briefcase. Phillip reports that he and his team have been, so far, unable to override the print-lock mechanism of the briefcase. Hammer warns them not to damage the briefcase, in case it contains something important. Stark contemplates that his spare armor is in that case. Hammer introduces Barnett as the man who developed the computer system of the room. The system utilizes a hypersonic scan technique to bypass the protective coating of Iron Man's armor. The technique was used to neutralize the armor's controls on several occasions and to manipulate its actions. Tony Stark assumed that the armor was simply malfunctioning. The killing of the ambassador was one of these occasions, intended to discredit Stark International and to win the Carnelian contract for Hammer. Hammer reveals that the plan has already worked. The Carnelian consulate signed the contract with one of Hammer's subsidiary corporations, in the morning of this day.

As Hammer offers his explanations to Tony Stark, the two businessmen are surrounded by armed guards. Tony approached a guard and asks him whether he knows what a clavicle is. The guard replies that he does not know. Stark karate chops the guard's clavicle, causing the man to drop down on his knees. Tony then attempts to run away from Hammer. The other guards attempt to give chase, but Hammer instructs them to let Stark go. Hammer seems certain that Tony will not get far. Tony reaches the surrounding wall of the Villa and climbs to the top. He is expecting to escape into the mountains or woods outside. He is shocked to discover that the Villa is actually part of a giant boat, surrounded by sea. There is no way to escape, and Hammer mocks his futile efforts.

As the guards capture Tony Stark, Hammer learns that some of his returning agents will soon be arriving at the Helipad. The scene shifts to Manhattan, at the offices of Cabe and McPherson, security specialists, which also serve as the private quarters of Bethany Cabe and Ling McPherson. Bethany is getting dressed, and Ling urges her to hurry up or they will be late for their assignment. Bethany seems lost in her thoughts, and Ling asks her what seems to be wrong. She wonders whether Bethany's thoughts are for Alexander van Tilburg or for Tony Stark. Bethany admits she is thinking of both men. She comments that it looks like history is going to repeat itself. She does not think that she can take it again. The scene ends.

The scene shifts to the furnished cell where Tony Stark is held. He notices a liquor cabinet and goes in search for a drink. To his disappointment, the cabinet is empty. He calls for room service and alerts the guard outside his cell. He tries to bribe the guard to bring him some alcoholic drinks. The guard reports that Hammer's information network has noticed that Tony is drinking too hard. Hammer wants him sober and has given such instructions to his staff. The only drink available to the prisoner is a jug of water. Tony is frustrated with the guard's attitude, and decides to teach him some manners.

Some time later, the guard hears the noise of something breaking within the cell. He immediately enters the cell to investigate, and steps on a puddle of water. Tony Stark in a relaxed mood, reports that he has broke an electric lamp. He holds the lamp in his hands and points to the water. The guard is suddenly very scared and asks what Tony intents to do. Tony uses the lamp to electrify the water, electrocuting the guard. He then escapes. Tony figures that the house current of the Villa will not be enough to permanently damage the guard, but it should be enough to knock him out.

Tony does not locate any other guards on active duty, and manages to sneak out to the Villa's garden. He locates a helicopter about to land. He plans to take over the helicopter to use it as his escape vehicle, in order to return to Monaco and alert the authorities about Hammer's conspiracy. While spying the helicopter, Tony finds out the identities of three of Hammer's agents. They are the Blizzard, the Melter, and Whiplash. All three exit the helicopter, while dressed in their super-villain uniforms. Hammer has helped them escape from Ryker's Island. Hammer warns his agents that he may not help them again if they fail. He finds neither pleasure, nor profit in financing failures.

Tony sneaks away. He has realized that Justin Hammer has more secrets and plots than he expected. He wants to find out what they are. He decides to use a gimmick prepared for him by Scott Lang. The belt that Tony is wearing actually consists of 20 feet of ultra-thin and super-strong nylon weave. His belt buckle contains a hidden switch, which changes the buckle into a miniature grappling hook. After a few failed efforts, Tony manages get the grappling hook attached to the roof of the Villa. He uses the nylon rope to climb the walls of the building. He gets to a second-story window, kicks and shatters the glass, and gains access to Phillip Barnett's computer laboratory. He uses martial arts to knock out Barnett and his guards. He retrieves the armor case. It contains a spare version of Iron Man Armor Model 4 and incendiary bombs prepared by Scott Lang. Tony prepares to use the bombs to disable the computer.

Hammer warns his three agents about the consequences of failure. They suddenly hear an explosion from the computer lab. Hammer deduces that Stark caused the explosion. He sounds the alarm and calls out his reserve operatives. A small army of super-villains emerges from the Villa and responds to the call. They include the Beetle, Constrictor, Discus, Leap-Frog, Man-Killer, Porcupine, Spymaster, Stiletto, and Water Wizard.

Hammer and his agents soon enter the computer lab. A voice alerts them that Mr. Stark has been taken to safety. In his place is Iron Man, who threatens to take every one of the agents and rip them to tiny pieces. He will then come after Hammer himself.

Iron Man blasts away the army of super-villains. Iron Man asks Justin Hammer himself, what is a businessman doing with a goon squad like this. Hammer replies that the explanation is quite obvious. Iron Man's foes need money to develop their weapons, to pay for their bail, to replace broken equipment. He offers sanctuary and financial aid to these gentlemen and ladies, in exchange for 50% of their profits.

Stiletto is the first villain to recover from the attack, and he starts counter-attacking. He throws as many knives as possible to Iron Man. He is aware that his knives can not penetrate Iron Man Armor Model 4, but he is counting on some of the knives going through the holes in Iron Man's mask. Warned of Stiletto's intentions, Iron Man lowers Plexiglas shields over his mouth and eye slits. He is now invulnerable to Stiletto's attack. Discus next attempts to take Iron Man down by throwing discs at him. Iron uses reverse-magnetism to throw the discs back. The discs take down Stiletto and Discus.

Justin Hammer concludes that none of the villains can face Iron Man alone. He orders them to attack en masse, as this is their only chance to defeat him. The villains obey his command and join forces against Iron Man. Iron Man uses physical force against the crowd of assailants, and he is secretly pleased with this opportunity. He has been through enough frustrating and humiliating experiences lately, and he is taking out his frustrations on the villains.

Iron Man suddenly starts flying, transporting the surrounding villains with him. He flies through a wall and to the open ground outside. He then turns his attention to the Beetle. He grabs hold of the wings of Beetle Armor MK I and removes them. Now unable to fly, the Beetle calls for help. The Leap-Frog responds to the call and attempts to rescue the Beetle. Iron Man takes control of the Beetle's tentacles, uses them to swing the Beetle around, and forcefully throws the Beetle to the Leap-Frog. The two villains collide in mid-air, taking them both out of the fight.

Hammer orders the Water Wizard to use his powers against Iron Man. The Wizard questions Hammer's sanity and attempts to escape instead. He mentions almost getting killed while fighting in the Vietnam War, while his only opponent was an army. He uses his powers to create a surf-scooter to use as his escape vehicle. He acknowledges that he still owes Hammer money for the bail he paid, but promises to eventually send him a check to settle the debt. Hammer is angry because of the Water Wizard's lack of gratitude. But he takes note that he and his operatives might need to escape the Villa. He instructs Spymaster to alert the Villa's navigator that he needs to prepare the lift pods.

As the battle continues, the Blizzard and the Melter combine their powers for an attack against the Iron Man armor. They fail to even scratch the armor. Iron Man grabs both villains and causes their heads to collide. They are both out of the fight. Constrictor then traps Iron Man in his coils. Man-Killer interferes and instructs Constrictor to leave Iron Man to her. She comments that the hero is just a man. In response, Iron Man uses his image projector on her. Man-Killer sees herself surrounded by Iron Men and starts fighting them. She does not realize that all eight of them are illusions, since the real Iron Man has still not escaped the coils of the Constrictor.

Iron Man tells the Constrictor that he has read information about him. He has read how the Constrictor stuns people with his electric coils. He informs the villain that Iron Man operates on electricity. He can absorb the Constrictor's electric attacks and use their power to boost his own strength. He uses the additional strength to stretch the Adamantium coils of the Constrictor and to slip right out of them. He then grabs the coils and uses to swing the Constrictor around. He sends the villain flying towards Man-Killer, taking them both out of the fight.

The next villain to challenge Iron Man is the Porcupine. He considers the Constrictor and Man-Killer to be mere amateurs, while he is a professional. He comes equipped with mini-grenades, with enough of a concussion to stop Iron Man. Iron Man uses his fists to shut down the grenade launcher of the Porcupine Armor, preventing the grenades from escaping. A worried Porcupine notes that the launch process had already begun, and the grenades are still going to explode. The grenades explode within the Armor and destroy it. A shocked and injured Porcupine finds himself still alive, but with his Armor gone. Iron Man taunts him.

With the super-villains either defeated or missing in action, Justin Hammer orders his armed guards to hold off Iron Man. The guards are suddenly attacked by machine gun fire. The attackers are the Monaco Police, which is operative five helicopters and flying above the Villa. They ordered the guards to surrender. Iron Man flies up to greet them, and discovers Jim Rhodes aboard one of the helicopters. Rhodes explains that he had trouble convincing the police hat the real Tony Stark had been abducted. He wants to know the whereabouts of his boss. Iron Man claims that Tony Stark was safely transported to the shore. He notices police boats surrounding the Villa. He wants to get to Hammer before the police does.

Meanwhile, Hammer prepares an escape plan. The entire island villa begins rising on a cushion of jet-powered air. The Villa flies away at an ever-increasing spreed. Iron Man realizes that the flying island is heading towards international waters, which would allow Hammer to escape police custody. He prepares to attack the Villa. His attack splits the structure in two pieces, while Hammer's agents struggle to escape the ruined building. Phillip Barnett finds himself in the waters below, and has never learned how to swim. He calls for help, and is rescued by Iron Man. Iron Man wants him to testify as a witness in court. Barnett fears double-crossing Hammer, but then realizes how much Iron Man can hurt him. He offers his confession by either writing or on tape.

Later on the docks of Monaco, Tony Stark and Jim Rhodes converse. Justin Hammer was not among the people captured by the Monaco Police and he apparently escaped safely. The police claim that they have enough evidence to use against Hammer in court. Stark thanks Rhodes for his help, and Rhodes claims that he was only doing his job. As they smile sincerely, the warmth of their friendship is re-assuring.

The story skips ahead for several days, to a television news broadcast. A special judiciary committee has acquitted Iron Man for the murder of Sergei Kotznin. There was overwhelming evidence that his armor was being controlled by an outside force, during the murder of Kotznin. Iron Man is briefly interviewed by a reporter from CBS. He claims to feel fine about his exoneration. He does not tell the reported that he still feels guilty about the murder. He keeps seeing Sergei Kotznin's face in his sleep.

Mayor Ed Koch returns to Iron Man the version of Iron Man Armor Model 4 which was in police custody. Koch explains that there will be no charges pressed against Iron Man for disobeying orders and using his spare armor. Iron Man then meets Mr. Pithins, head of Stark International's public relations department. Pithins does not seem happy. Even with the exoneration, the press is not though with coverage of Stark International. Iron Man was still involved in a murder and the company still lost the Carnelian contract. Public confidence on them is down.

As Iron Man steps outside the CBS building, there is a crowd of New Yorkers outside. He notices that a blonde little girl has dropped her doll. He retrieves the doll and offers it back to the girl. The girl is terrified of him, since she saw him kill Kotznin of TV. She calls for protection. Her mother promises to not let the bad man hurt her daughter. The embarrassed crowd disperses, including the crying little girl. Iron Man suddenly feels alone. He later blames his Iron Man armor for terrifying little children. He angrily shuts it in the armor case.

Later, Tony Stark is drinking alone at a nightclub in Forest Hills. He feels disgruntled and even a century-old brandy fails to cheer him up. Renaldo, a staff member, brings him the phone, as there is someone asking for him. The caller is Bethany Cabe, who wants to arrange a meeting with him. Tony tells her that he will write a reminder on a napkin. He is already quite drunk and obviously slurring his words. Bethany realizes that something is wrong, though he does not admit. She asks him to meet her at 914 Lexington. He accidentally writes down 419 Lexington, before the phone call ends.

The following day, Tony Stark waits in vain at 419 Lexington and gets angry at Bethany for snubbing him. Meanwhile, Bethany waits in vain at 914 Lexington and feels that Tony no longer cares about her. She feels that Tony is on a path towards self-destruction, but does not know if she can stop him. The scene shifts to Avengers Mansion. Jarvis is cleaning the dishes, after cooking dinner for 7 Avengers. He is pleased that they liked his mother's recipe. He hears laughter inside and is alarmed. With the exception of the Vision, who is on monitor duty, all the Avengers should have left by now. Jarvis goes in search for an intruder, and hopes that there will be no violence.

Jarvis finds a drunk Tony Stark with his new date, Amber Sunrise. The two of them are in a computer room. Tony Stark is showing off his latest gadgets to Amber. She calls them "cute". Jarvis reminds Stark that this equipment is classified. He also reminds Stark that showing it off to a stranger would upset Henry Gyrich. Tony thinks that Jarvis is pushing him around and gets angry. He tells Jarvis that he is a butler and a mere servant. He will have to remember his place and respect his superiors. Jarvis answers with a "yes, sir", but he can barely contain his anger. As Jarvis withdraws to the kitchen, Tony briefly feels regret. But then Amber convinces him to show her more gadgets. He is too drunk to feel there is anything wrong with that.

The following morning finds Tony Stark sleeping in his Long Island office. He is waken up by Bambi Arbogast, who tells him that Jarvis wants to see him. He tells her to send him in, though he is no condition for a proper meeting. Jarvis delivers a designation letter to Stark. He is unhappy with the way Stark treated him and unhappy with the direction the Avengers team has been taking lately. He feels that the Avengers have become a large collection of unhappy individuals, simmering in their own stew of repressed anger, resentment, and frustration. He has had enough.

After viewing a disappointed Jarvis exiting the office, Stark's mind clears and he finally understands something. He has been blaming all his troubles on the Iron Man armor, an inanimate suit. But the armor was not the one responsible, nor was Iron Man the one who belittled Jarvis. The root of the problems is himself and his drinking problem. He helplessly calls: "God help me". The image shifts to a bottle of whiskey.

REVIEW

What an adventure this has been. Sure, the main villain is surrounded by little villains, but that is not exactly the main attraction. Although, the murder accusation is a very good plot device.

There are some decisions that Tony makes that are a bit out of place, but I am going to blame the alcohol (he should have changed armors the moment he went through Jim Shooter’s office).

There is a very curious anecdote about Jarvis’ resignation letter. It is actually Dave Cockrum’s resignation. (He would become freelancer afterwards). It wasn’t Michelinie’s or Layton’s decision to put it there.

To: Anthony Stark

This is to notify you that I am tendering my resignation from my position. This resignation is to take effect immediately.

I am leaving because this is no longer the team-spirited "one big happy family" I once loved working for. Over the past year or so I have watched Avengers' morale disintegrate to the point that, rather than being a team or a family, it is now a large collection of unhappy individuals simmering in their own personal stew of repressed anger, resentment and frustration. I have seen a lot of my friends silently enduring unfair, malicious or vindictive treatment.

My personal grievances are relatively slight by comparison to some, but I don't intend to silently endure. I've watched the Avengers be disbanded, uprooted and shuffled around. I've become firmly convinced that this was done with the idea of 'showing the hired help who's Boss.'

I don't intend to wait around to see what's next.

Sincerely,

(Jarvis)

cc: The Avengers

Replace “Avengers” for “Marvel”.

And this is one of the many pranks on Shooter that would come to pass (Shooter being a very complicated figure at Marvel).

I like this story because of the “thriller” aspect of it, and I really enjoy the art. I usually don’t like Romita Jr. style, but that wasn’t developed yet. In fact, I think he is only doing breakdowns, but that is more than enough for me to recognize he did a great job (take a look at the panels where Iron Man talk to Rhodes on a helicopter).

Of course, it’s Layton’s art that you actually see. And apparently he did some plotting. I don’t think it was done the Marvel way, otherwise, Romita would have gotten a “plotter” credit (but with Marvel is hard to know).

I give this story a score of 8

[cornfields-and-bad-dreams]

Mogar x David

Mogar watched as David tried desperately to control the campers.  He was working alone today for reasons unknown to Mogar, but that wasn't what was on his mind.  Mogar admired David, his love for nature was something that caught Mogars eye from the moment they met, and his caring personality coupled with his general passiveness left Mogar with an overwhelming urge to protect him.  This had lead Mogar to become the unofficial security of Camp Campbell, not even David was aware of his watchful eye.  David was important to Mogar, thus what was important to David was important to Mogar and the camp was important to David (as were the children and Gwen).

As Mogar had watched the camp the more he found himself focusing on David, and the more he focused on David the more he started noticing little things about the overly excited counselor.  Things that included but were not limited to:

The way his eyes lit up with excitement. The way he smiled uncontrollably at so many things. The way he'd run his hands through his hair when he was getting a bit stressed. The way he'd tear up ever so slightly when he was feeling especially proud of his dear sweet campers.

These were just to name a few, but one of the most admirable things Mogar had noticed was the way David had started to become more understanding and patient with some of the more negative or troublesome campers.  Mogar was not an expert on such things, but he had come to learn from his own experiences that there is more to someone than what is right in front of you.

As the day continued David and the campers moved from the activities field down to the lake.  The one Mogar had learned to be Nikki was the first to jump into the calm waters of Lake Lilac (a little too enthusiastically that is as she was still fully clothed).  After Nikki the rest of the campers seemed to follow, they took their time removing any clothing they still wore over their swimsuits though.  David stood on the dock keeping a close on the campers, whistle hanging from his neck in case it was needed.  Settling into the tree he had perched in, Mogar watched as the campers played and David relaxed in a folding chair on the dock.  After a while, though David had failed to notice the camper Mogar had come to know as Nurf sneaking up behind him, as soon as Nurf was close enough he lifted David up and held him at the end of the dock.

"Nurf, put me down please." Concern laced David's words.

"Okay David, if you insist." Nurf threw David off the end of the dock straight into the water.

Mogar felt bad that Nurf had done this to David, but he also caught himself laughing, just a bit.

Leaving the water David kicked off the sandals he'd been wearing and peeled off the wet shirt that clung desperately to him.  The moment David was completely shirtless Mogar's laugh halted.  A strange feeling bubbled up in Mogar's stomach, and he felt his body go hot, especially his cheeks.  His eyes stayed glued to David and his shirtless form, despite the many times Mogar had seen David he'd never seen him without his shirt.  The way the sun hit the water on his chest, the way his muscles moved under his skin, the red hairs that lightly trailed up from below his.

"NO."  Mogar shook his head and left his guard spot.  Heading deeper into the woods Mogar decided to take a walk.  He couldn't watch over the camp if he was being distracted by these weird thoughts and feelings.  He needed to clear his mind.  As Mogar followed one of the many paths in the forest, a conversation he'd had with X-ray and Vav came to mind.

"Don't you get lonely out here by yourself?" Vav had asked.

"Mogar has Mother to keep him company."

"That's not exactly what I'd meant," Vav responded.

"Then what do you mean?"

"I think what Vav is trying to ask is don't you want a girlfriend or something?"

"Are Hilda and Ash not Mogars girl friends?"

"No, Mogar, we're talking about relationships.  Like how Vav has Ash."

"Or X-ray has his hand."

"Hey."

"Mogar knows what you mean.  Mogar just joking with you." Mogar gave a chuckle as the two heroes glared lightly at him.  "Mogar has no need for relationship, Mogar has friends and Mother.  That is all Mogar needs."

"Well no one NEEDS a relationship, it's just nice to have someone."  X-ray stated.

"Or your hand," Mogar added.

X-ray glared at Vav.

"Look what you started."

"If you don't think you need a relationship that's fine, but you never know, you might meet someone who'll change your mind."  Vav smiled and gave Mogar a light shrug.

"How would Mogar know?"

X-ray and Vav exchanged a glance of slight confusion.

"Uh, it's just a feeling, you know?" X-ray started.

"They make you feel really nice and happy.  And you know that you want to make them happy too." Vav continued.

"You get really excited to see them or even think about them, and you want to do everything you can for them." X-ray picked up again.

"You'll know," Vav said. "Trust me, you'll just know."

Mogar stopped where he was, were these feelings he was having what X-ray and Vav were talking about?  He did like David a lot and definitely wanted to make him happy.   There had been a time in his life where he thought all he'd need was his Mother, but he'd learned that friends were a great addition to his life as well.  Perhaps Mogar was wrong about not needing a relationship.  X-ray and Vav had suggested a girlfriend, but a boyfriend was just as good, right?  Of course, David was perfect, Mogar didn't think he'd ever meet someone so wonderful as him.

Mogar knew what he had to do, tonight after the campers went to bed he'd invite David out for a walk, then he'd confess.

Mogar watched as David did his final rounds of checking the campers tents.  When he was convinced all the kids had fallen asleep he made his way towards the counselor's cabin, but Mogar cut him off.  Jumping from the tree he'd been sitting in Mogar landed in front of David.

"WOAH.  Mogar, what are you doing here?  You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Mogar is sorry to have frighted you.  Mogar wanted to know if you'd join him for a walk."

"Well." David looked back at the tents, thinking for a moment. "Alright, but I can't be gone long.  Gwen's been sick all day and I should be back soon in case one of the campers needs something."

"Mogar understands."

Setting off down one of the small paths Mogar and David talked, or more so David talked about his day while Mogar listened.  After ten minutes or so David felt he should head back for the camp.

"It's been great talking to you, and I wish we could walk for a little more but I should really be going.  Have a great night Mogar."  David took a step in the direction they'd come but Mogar grabbed his arm gently.

"Wait, Mogar had something he wanted to say."

"What is it?" Davids' eyes seemed to glow in the moonlight, and Mogars mind went blank.  While Mogar had had a general idea of what he'd wanted to say, at that moment he realized he didn't know how to confess his feelings if only X-ray and Vav had explained that to him.  Time seemed to stand still as thoughts flooded Mogars mind, but Mogar realized words had never been his strong suit anyway, what he needed was action.

"Mogar?" Mogar had seemed to freeze for a moment and David was a bit worried, but as quickly and Mogar had grabbed him he'd pulled David into a kiss.  Their lips met and David was stunned, this was certainly something he hadn't expected, not to say he didn't enjoy it.  David's surprise quickly dissolved as he closed his eyes and kissed back.  His arms snaked around Mogars neck as Mogar held onto Davids' hips pulling him as close as he could.

Time has little relevance when you're in the thralls of a passionate kiss, but to an outside view David and Mogar had been standing, bathed in a moonlit kiss for nearly 2 whole minutes, that is until David suddenly remembered he needed to get back to camp.  Pulling away Davids' cheeks were red and Mogar decided he really liked the way it looked on David.

"As much as I'd love to kiss you, I really do need to get back to camp."

"Mogar will walk you back."

Walkings side by side, and hand in hand, David returned to camp.  Stopping at the border between the woods and camp David gave Mogar a quick kiss goodbye.

"Hopefully Gwen will be feeling better tomorrow.  If so, we can continue this tomorrow night without any distractions."

"Mogar would enjoy that very much.  Does this mean you will be Mogar's boyfriend?"

"Of course, I'd love to."  Mogar lifted David up and gave him one last kiss before setting him down.

"Goodnight David."

"Goodnight Mogar."

Mogar made his way home as David made his way to the cabin.  David raised a hand to his lips as he quietly opened the door.

"Where have you been?"  Gwen's voice startled David as he closed the door, he hoped he hadn't woken her up.

[redpensandgreenarrows]

HVFF Nashville wrap-up!

I think the shock has worn off enough for me to remember most of what happened ^_~. So, let’s dig in to the story of my first con!! :-) 

Sorry if this gets a little long, but I’m going to gush! THERE WILL BE SPOILERS so be warned! ^_^ Also, any pics I post are mine, please do not use without credit!!

HVFF Day #1

@ireland1733, @emmilynestill, @jedichick04, @laurabelle2930, and I all met up and headed into the con. I was so thankful to have a few HVFF veterans in our group, because I was able to follow their lead! Heading back to the autograph booths, we met up with @scu11y22 and @quant-um-fizzx. Stephen’s line was filling up quick, so we went to David’s booth because there was no one in his VIP line yet! 

Poor David. All the hugs to that man, because he didn’t fly in from Vancouver until that morning. Combining that fact with a flight delay, DR was running late (we were able to get the complete run down of his schedule from his con agent who we befriended while waiting in line X-D). In total we probably waited 2 hours or so for David to show up, but we found ways to pass the time. Hanging with this group of ladies is always a good time with many laughs and craziness. Plus, Stephen showed up during the midst of our waiting and since his booth was right next to David’s we got to stare at the pretty for as long as we wanted!! It took a few minutes for it to sink in that I was seeing the pretty IN PERSON. *sigh* it was lovely. 

--SIDE STORY-- While waiting for David, we got to watch Stephen take a picture with adorable little baby who was dress up in a green arrow onesie that was made to look like the Arrow jacket. It was precious! And the best part, we found out thanks to @hope-for-olicity - who was also waiting with us - that the baby’s name was Oliver! ADORABLE!

Finally David arrived! Immediately, he tried to grab SA’s attention, and wadded up a piece of paper or something and threw it at him. As Stephen slowly made his way over, David turned to all of us and said, “I gotta go hug my boyfriend.” A+ moment. I will forever live for the David/Stephen bromance.

When my moment finally came to meet David, I asked for a hug and he was all for it. I can back up everyone’s claim that David 100% gives the best hugs. They’re so big and teddy-bear like. For how muscly he is, David is super cuddly. I told him it was my first con and he said I was a natural. He signed the picture I picked out and I asked for his favorite Diggle quote (Stephen also signed this pic, so you’ll see his autograph too):

David: “Oliver, don’t.”

I also asked for a S6 spoiler. I never mentioned anything about Olicity or that I was an Olicity shipper. His immediate response was “Do you like weddings?” ;-)

This man is a precious cupcake and completely worth the wait. We bonded; it was beautiful. ^_^

Once we finished up with David, Stephen’s line amazingly had no one in the VIP section, so we jumped at the chance and he was even taking selfies that day!! Stephen’s line obviously moved more quickly due to the number of people, but he was super sweet as well. Similar to David, I asked for one of his favorite Oliver lines.

Stephen: “Suit up.” 

Once he signed the pic, he shook my hand, held it during the picture, and then complimented my Star Wars phone case ^_^. I know it’s silly, but I will never be over that!

Finishing up with Stephen, our group grabbed a bite to eat and then waited to be seated for Stephen’s panel. (Shout out to @hotcookinmama and her adorable daughter - dressed as Felicity - who we ran into before the panel!!)

@jedichick04 asked the very first question of Stephen’s panel, and it was the “two truths and a lie” question which has been floating around tumblr and twitter. His panel was as fun and humorous as they normally are, and it was so fun to see it in person.

Following his panel, we walked back to the autograph booths to see who we could hit up next...

- Echo Kellum: SUPER sweet <3. Similar to David he’s very much a hugger. His hugs are great too. Echo is just a lovely person and so thankful to his fans. And he was also the first person who got the “Have you all been kidnapped?” question (aka THE QUESTION) that @ireland1733, @emmilynestill, and @laurabelle2930 forced me to ask the actors. He was definitely shocked by the question and wondered why I didn’t want to know if they were even alive! It was pretty funny. He claimed that he didn’t know and wasn’t sure what was happening quite yet. So, I’m not sure if he truly knows, but I didn’t get a definite ‘No.’ 

- Rick Gonzalez: OMG, THIS PRECIOUS PUPPY. I JUST WANT TO HUG HIM ALL THE TIME. Okay, so Rick is the sweetest, most humble person ever. @laurabelle2930 and I walked up to say hi and get a pic, and he was just so thankful! You can tell he is so happy to be a part of Arrow, and just so thankful to his fans. Super sweet, A+, I wish I had the chance to go back to his booth before the weekend was over. Rick was asked THE QUESTION as well, and his reaction was too funny! His lips pressed together and bulged like he was trying to keep the words from spilling out. He said that he was trying really hard to tell us, but they just wouldn’t come out!! Hilarious. Again, no ‘No.”, but maybe a slight hint?? Who knows *shrugs*.

After Rick, most left to prep for the Nocking Point party, but @jedichick04 and I had time to kill because our photo ops with SA weren’t until later. So, we bopped around the vendor area and ran into @jbuffyangel and her daughter, who too was dressed as Felicity. We chatted about spoilers, and Jen said that she was told there was going to be a conflict between Oliver and Diggle this coming season (almost Civil War style), and I revealed what David told @emmilynestill - how Diggle was going to be the Green Arrow for part of the season. (What is happening on S6 of Arrow!?!?!)

My photo op with Stephen was lovely. I wish I had asked for a true hug, than just the side hug, but I think I still had first con jitters. Plus, IT’S STEPHEN FREAKIN’ AMELL. I touched him in some capacity, and it really hasn’t sunk in yet. 

After the photo, Rachel and I met up with the ladies again, and added @mel-loves-all, @vaelisamaza, @smoakingbabbles, @tdgal1, and a couple others to the group for dinner before the NP party. Good friends, good food, A+ time ^_^.

Nocking Point Party

WHAT a blast! I sampled some excellent wine, and danced the night away with my friends. The band was great! Their name was The Remedies, and the were just having a ball! They were an excellent cover band, playing lots of 80s and “fan favorite” songs (think wedding reception band). They were so happy the crowd was getting into it and dancing. 

We ran into David’s con agent - Mary - again, and BOY was she having fun!! She was dancing with us, and when David finally showed up to the party, got us a group picture with him! @jedichick04, @emmilynestill, @ireland1733, @laurabelle2930, and I were posing with David when he suddenly lifted up his leg and yelled, “Someone hold my leg!” Like the 5 women around him wouldn’t do that! ;-) It was so much fun!

There was a hilarious Q&A session with Stephen, Drew, Cassandra, and Rick! Highly enjoyable. AND STEPHEN SANG!! He belted out Summer of ‘69 with the band. I love that song, so it was great to hear!! I have a video of the last half of the song, so hopefully I can get it up soon. :-)

However, the best part of the night - coincidently - was the end. Stephen was on stage, saying thank you and good night everyone present. He started to walk off stage when SUDDENLY A WILD DAVID RAMSEY RAN UP ON STAGE AND GRABBED THE MIC!! Because were they done yet!? According to David, not so fast!! He had a few words for the crowd: 1.) Thanking the fans over and over again for their support, because “according to the producers” he was told that viewing had gone UP this passed season thanks to all the fans, 2.) Thanking Stephen for being an amazing leader, and how he loves getting to work with such a great guy, 3.) “Can I get an AMEN!? We are in Nashville after all.” (yes there was an AMEM! ^_~), 4.) CHEEK KISS AND BRO HUG WITH STEPHEN. IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER! 

And then just before my storage ran out on my phone, I got one last pic that I think is my favorite from the night: “NAAAAAASHVIIIIIIIILE!”

HVFF Day #2

Arrow panel up first!

And guys... I ASKED A QUESTION. 😱😱😱 I might have been shaking a bit, but I made it through! I asked Rick if the Rene/Lance relationship/moments would continue in S6, because I enjoyed them last season, and will Lance still help Rene get his daughter back. Rick said he hoped so, because he loved working with Paul and their dynamic on the show. And being a father himself, he enjoyed that Rene was a father too, and getting to play that part of his character on the show. Because as Wild Dog, he’s such a “bad ass”, but then you get this different side to him when he interacts with his daughter. I hope we get it too!!

Many hilarious moments, but I think the absolute best question was when a woman asked David what cologne he was wearing the previous night at the NP party, because her friends thought he smelled wonderful and wanted to buy the cologne for their husbands. David’s reaction was priceless! (But he did answer: Tom Ford - Wood)

After the panel the rest of the day was autographs/selfies with the crew, and a couple more photo ops! So lets break it down...

- Katrina Law: First was an autograph and selfie with her - I had a photo op later. She is just a precious sinnamon roll, who is sweet, super friendly and energetic. She complimented my style and was super sweet during the selfie - we did a “normal” one, then she made us do “diva” poses ^_^. I want to be her BFF4LYFE. We asked her THE QUESTION as well, and she just shrugged it off saying “Naw... everyone’s hamburger meat.” Haha! ^_^

- John Barrowman: Similar to Katrina, I had a photo op later, but we hit his line for an autograph and a group selfie. John takes his own selfie, and MAN does he have it down to a science! “Okay, everyone squeeze in, find an opening, you crouch down, look, and smile!” He took like 5 normal ones before yelling “Ugly one!” John and I are the only ones making faces, because the rest just cracked up ^_^. He gives a good hug too. 

We hit up Echo and David again for group selfies, and then the end of my day was just checking out the vendors and my 3 photo ops. 

The last bit of my story I have to write out is about my last photo op, which happened to be David. When it was my time for the photo I said to David: “You started my con and now you’re ending it too, can I get one last hug?” He said absolutely and gave me a great big bear hug. The photographer took the photo, and then David refused to let me go. Hugging me for a few seconds longer, he did a little rocking motion (like when you give someone a really big hug), and then when he let me go he said he’d see me next con!

Damn. Straight.

So, to say my first con was a success I think would be an understatement. I had SO MUCH FUN, met many of my favorite actors, and hung out with so many of my fandom friends... truly I must be blessed. Everything I did, and every cent I spent was completely worth it. 

And I can’t wait to do it again. <3

[hencethebravery]

Fantasy Pretzel Week, Day 7: Any modern trope in an Elves, Fae, or Nymph AU.

Title: “Upon the Green,” (1/2)

Summary: A Midsummer Night’s Dream AU wherein… Emma Swan and Killian Jones are dramatic, vaguely magical marrieds who scheme, plot, and otherwise interfere with Prince Henry’s troubled love life.

Notes: “Royal fairies, feuding royals” AU for Fantasy Pretzel Week! Loosely based on Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I’m also worried this is not… “modern AU” enough for the parameters of this challenge, but it’s an enemies to lovers kinda thing so even if it’s half-wrong it’s also half-right. Also on Ao3. An extra special thanks to all the marvelous ladies at the CS Writers’ Hub who listened to me bitch about this story, and @abbadons-little-witch, who offered up some helpful critique. Also tagging so they don’t yell at me later, @captainwiley and @the-reason-to-sail-home. xo

PUCK How now, spirit! Whither wander you? FAIRY Over hill, over dale, Thorough bush, thorough brier, Over park, over pale, Thorough flood, thorough fire: I do wander everywhere, Swifter than the moon's sphere, And I serve the Fairy Queen, To dew her orbs upon the green. The cowslips tall her pensioners be. In their gold coats spots you see; Those be rubies, fairy favors; In those freckles live their savors. I must go seek some dewdrops here, And hang a pearl in every cowslip’s ear.

— William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night’s Dream (2.1.1-15)

+ Never, in all his many days as a fae, had Killian envisioned such a grand affair, never mind his own wedding day. It seemed as if every flower, on every branch and every bough, was in full bloom despite the lingering frost of late winter. The fountains, though generally dry and barren this time of year, bubbled and gurgled with nectar far too sweet for the season.

And the lights, to his own childlike delight, were scattered playfully throughout the crowd, whipping in and out around shy, early buds; among the whimsical hairstyles of the kingdom’s most fashionable ladies. The moon itself seemed to shine brighter than he had ever seen it, the world abuzz with the Princess’s impending marriage. To him. Killian, a nobody, a foot soldier and royal guardsmen with not much to offer.

From his dark, hidden nook by the doorway he observed the tense standoff between Emma and her father. “I won't hear of it,” her voice sharper than he could ever remember, her tongue clicking against the back of her teeth, “not with the wedding so close.”

They were very quickly approaching the final ceremonies after days of celebration that had included drinking, eating, and dancing; the marriage itself scheduled to begin in just a few hours. And the Princess, Emma, sounded alarmingly concerned given the immediacy of their impending union.

“I only ask that you consider your people, Emma,” the King urged quietly, “this is not a matter to be taken lightly.”

Killian loved Emma, had loved her for longer than he cared to remember. And he wasn't naive, to be sure, he knew how odd it must seem; the Princess of the fairies, a blessed, bountiful kingdom, marrying a poor soldier of mediocre standing. But for whatever reason, she had chosen him. Despite all her beauty, grace, and kindness, she had seen fit to love and wed him. He knew her parents had been… less than enthused about their marriage, but it was quite another thing to hear it spoken of mere hours before they exchanged vows.

He heard Emma release a long, drawn out breath betraying a deep and overwhelming exhaustion. He would be concerned for her obvious unhappiness, only he found himself distracted by the vice of insecurity tightening its hold around his rapidly beating heart. Was she having second thoughts? Did she really want to marry him—?

The startling sound of shattering glass interrupted his mutinous, worrisome thoughts, as well as any reply his soon-to-be wife may have made, in his defense or otherwise. Fearing both David and Emma’s ire at being caught eavesdropping, he fled for the central ballroom, his face flushed and legs shaky. What might she have said?

Emma’s father was a just and fair ruler, by all accounts a good man, but Killian couldn’t help the niggling feeling of betrayal that began to worm its way into his subconscious as soon as he had overheard the King’s concern. And Emma, whom he loved dearly, who he could barely wait to wed, when faced with the possible truth of those same doubts, seemed to pause in considering her answer, and Killian could hardly be expected to keep from worrying. Would she live to regret him?

When he stood in front of his wife mere hours later, he tried to quell the disappointment and uncertainty. The ceremony was just as beautiful as he had anticipated, his bride even more so. Her hands were just as warm and delicate as they had always been, her lips the same, blushing pink—the taste just as sweet as he remembered… and yet.

He said all the right words at all the right moments, squeezed her hand, brushed his lips across the high apple of her cheek; danced and drank and sang, he took part in the festivities as any blissful husband might, burying his doubts and fears beneath the love in her eyes, and the evident happiness of their kingdom. She loves me, he thought, watching the light of the moon twist and bend to suit her shape, and I love her.

25 years later…

“The list of offenses,” the well-dressed cricket reads aloud, “are as follows…”

A small, unfailingly polite insect, wearing the tallest top hat by far, regales the audience with his long, cleverly worded list of over fifty sins committed within their borders in the many years since the Princess’ marriage and subsequent rule. An exhaustive, but by no means complete, compilation of the King and Queen’s many squabbles, and they had, all of them, finally had enough.

“Their last argument kept my tree from blooming the last three summers,” the bluebird chirps, her voice high and clipped, “I’ve had to fly over hill and dale just to find a scrap to eat!”

“The water in the lake has been putrid for months,” complains a young buck, “what are we supposed to drink?”

“Friends, friends!” The cricket interrupts with a sonorous cry, his chirping pleas silencing the outrage of his friends and countrymen, “You’re all angry, and rightfully so—”

“We have to do something,” a squeaky voice interrupts from somewhere in the crowd, “this is intolerable!”

“Enough!” He is loud for so small a creature, his voice and his words a familiar source of comfort and strength in these uncertain times. He adjusts the bow around his collar and continues, “If you’ll allow me,” and he smiles, genially, “I do have a plan.”

5 years later…

The loud, rambunctious sound of their combined laughter rang pleasantly through the forest. It was a joyous, familiar harmony, as Prince Henry and his boyhood friend had played, hunted, and otherwise spent their free time with one another over the years.

“Do try to keep up, Henry,” Marcus laughed, his voice echoing beneath the canopy of leaves above their heads, “We can’t have your new bride thinking you a cripple, now can we?”

Henry sighed and forged ahead, his heart violently lurching at the prospect of his bride-to-be. Marcus had seen fit to mention Princess Violet an alarming amount these days, and Henry had tried, desperately, to understand its significance. Would he simply miss his friend? What with his position in the Navy, they were unlikely to spend much time together regardless, so the fact of their separation seemed irrelevant.

“I’ll never understand how you can be so excitable this early in the morning,” Henry groused, the heat from the sun causing an uncomfortable chafing between his collar and neck, “it’s unnatural.”

Henry paused at Marcus’ uncharacteristic silence and glanced around the seemingly empty path, his eyes thinning suspiciously at his friend’s lack of reply.

“Don’t be mad—” Henry yelped in surprise at the somewhat alarming sight of Marcus’ unnervingly charming, upside-down visage, his long hair falling dangerously close to the forest floor, a wide and playful smile on his face, “It’s not my fault we can’t all be so dashing in the morning.”

Marcus hung quite precariously from the branch of a nearby tree, his knees firmly hooked over the gnarled wood, and his face was endearingly flushed with the sudden rush of blood.

“One day you’re going to break an arm,” Henry scolded, his head falling to the side, “and I’ll be happy to leave you wherever it is you fall.”

“Ah, young Prince,” Marcus playfully replied, “you’re too good a man for that kind of talk.”

Watching Marcus drop gracefully to the ground, Henry tried, in vain, to ignore the small spark of attraction that seemed to hum along his arms and down his long, annoyingly elegant fingertips. Marcus had never been the most humble of boys, and Henry had grown used to the strange, conflicting urge to be both absurdly proud and jealous of his friend. A remarkably active child, Marcus had a somewhat nauseating aptitude for acrobatics—which tended to come in handy wandering crowded streets looking for food to steal, or climbing the rigging of his father’s many ships.

“You know I hate it when you call me that.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Marcus answered with a grin, his gaze softening despite the caustic tone.

The usual tittering of the forest seemed to suddenly taper off with a swiftness that felt almost rehearsed, as if all the birds and insects had unanimously decided to cease their usual chattering. Henry tried not to despair at the return of their own silence that seemed to inevitably follow in its wake. It had started a few months ago, shortly after the proposed engagement to Princess Violet, and like Marcus’ frequent jabs, Henry had spent a good deal of time trying to make sense of it.

He had experienced the miserable reality of tense silences before, being royalty, awkwardness was, unfortunately, an inevitable side effect, but he had never felt that same pressure in the company of Marcus. Until now, that is. And it was then that he noticed the way the light seemed to fall over his face, catching the sharp loveliness of his features that Marcus had become famous for; the varying strands of brown hair that could only be distinguished in just the right light. And his eyes, nearly black most days, now betrayed an almost inhuman array of earthen tones, the same colors that rendered him almost mythical on the deck of the Nautilus.

“What is it you think you’re doing, my love?”

Emma spared the barest hint of a glance towards Killian’s sullen expression, his eyebrows resting dark and heavy over his stormy gaze. His words rang painfully hollow, still, even after so many years of hearing their emptiness echo inside her heart. How I wish you wouldn’t call me that, she thought miserably, trying to soothe a thirty-year ache she could never quite cure.

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with, my darling.” A similar bite, a familiar warping of a common enough endearment shared between a husband and wife. Although she had wondered, from time to time, if she could even call them that anymore. In quieter moments she might return to a softer, happier time—when her name on his lips was a comfort rather than a cruel condemnation. When his touch had been frequent, a natural and expectant thing, as opposed to the stiff, ceremonial performance that it had become.

Henry and Marcus reminded her of who they used to be, two friends, floundering in the uncertainty of something more. The love in Marcus’ eyes whenever he beheld Henry was a painful reminder of the earnest glances that Killian had often sent her from across the room, his playful teasing and invasive questioning a constant companion in the years before their marriage.

She had only wanted to help, to free them from this infuriating, fruitless game that she had been watching them play for years now. So she had asked the sun, politely of course, to shine a bit brighter in that particular moment—had lifted a graceful finger into the air and the trees had obliged, shifting in just the right way to let the light shine through; to expose the otherworldly beauty of Captain Nemo’s only son to the one person who seemed unusually blind to its brilliance.

“I think that light is playing a little too generously,” he observed from over her shoulder, his words dripping with disapproval. She scoffed and kept a careful eye on the fragile scene before them, the very life of the forest moving carefully in line with her performance.

Whereas Emma had taken a perverse sort of pleasure in observing Henry and Marcus’ relationship the last few years, Killian seemed to actively hold the two boys in contempt—a suspiciously bitter taste on his quick, cruel tongue. Always making some kind of thinly veiled criticism of their “courtship,” the King found them to be a “mismatched pair.”

“To force them together,” he condescendingly explained, “would be an unusual kind of torture, even by your generous standards.”

“At least someone would be happy,” she mumbled under her breath, the two boys seemingly frozen in the soft, buttery light of the sun, their chests moving imperceptibly slowly with every quiet breath.

Henry’s eyes had begun to water, as if they had been open for hours instead of minutes. And it seemed as if the sun had begun to set, even though he could have sworn that they had set out moments ago, an hour at most.

“When did it get so late?” Marcus asked, his words an eerie echo of the confused thoughts rushing through Henry’s own mind. He turned slowly towards the full, towering trees, his gaze bright and sharp. “We should head back,” he suggested lightly enough, the gentle hand on Henry’s shoulder offering a fleeting sense of comfort, “Meet your Princess tomorrow.”

“You worried?”

“Me?” Marcus laughed, his chest a bit puffier than usual, “Never.”

Emma watched the two boys walk away with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Don’t fret, they’ll be back tomorrow,” the usual, exasperated sigh falling from his lips. “You can play with your toys then.”

“They’re not my toys,” her long, blonde braid whipping around to frame her slender neck, “and I’ve had just about enough of you today, thanks. Isn’t it about time you retreated to your little hovel, anyway?”

Killian’s eyes closed at the sound of her fading footsteps, somehow both impossibly light and furious all at once. He knew how, of course, Queen that she was, a study in so many contradicting, impossible things.

When he opened his eyes he could still see Henry and Marcus ambling away in the distance, the width of their slim, boyish shoulders brushing against one another in the silver moonlight. He could see the twinkling lights of the village at an even further stretch, the inky blackness of the sea beyond the quaint homesteads, and took a deep, cleansing breath. If he really focused, he thought he could still smell the salt of the ocean, hear the bustling sounds of the villagers going about their day. He could even feel the heat of the sun that morning, feel Emma’s warm, eager presence at his side all those years ago.

35 years earlier…

Killian was beginning to suspect that this assignment had been given as a punishment. Being tasked with guarding the Princess had seemed like a blessing at first, he could barely believe his good fortune… and then he had met her. Every short, fiery inch of her; impossible to reason with, to watch over, to do his job.

Just as beautiful up close as she had seemed from afar, her golden hair falling to her waist as if it were a waterfall, cheeks and lips flushed varying shades of pink and red. She even smelled remarkable, like the first, gentle scent of honeysuckle in early spring, it’s floral headiness mixed pleasantly with all that rain.

“Killian!” his name harsh and clipped in a loud, commanding tone, “Follow me.”

The King and Queen stood frozen and worried, staring pleadingly at her departing form, and a sick feeling started to take root in his gut. “Um, Your Majesty—”

“Don’t question me, guard,” she interrupted quickly, her feet moving in time with her swift, angry puffs of breath as they moved through the trees, “We’re leaving.”

“I’m sorry, Princess, but… leaving?”

Generally quite proud of his careful, well-articulated speech, he couldn’t help the internal berating of his own stuttering questions, his less than stern comportment with his charge.

“Princess,” he said again, quickening the pace of his own steps, trying (and failing) not to be distracted by the usual overabundance of loveliness, when he realized she showed no signs of slowing down and gently gripped her elbow, “Emma—”

She finally paused at his touch, her gaze furious at his attempts to stop her, “Your Majesty,” he said again, carefully removing his hand from her arm, “Where are we going?”

“I can’t take it anymore!” she whispered, her eyes inexplicably wet and soft when moments earlier they had reflected nothing less than hardened steel. “They just want me to stay here all the time, do nothing… sew tablecloths, meet… suitors, stand around hosting meaningless parties… and all these things I’m supposed to do, and I don’t—”

Killian meant to interrupt, maybe to reassure her that she was on a path meant for great things, or maybe that she was lucky to live such a blessed life, but all that came out was her name and an ill-advised suggestion, “Come with me.”

A whole day and evening spent amidst the hustle and bustle of a human village, warm and alive and he had never seen her so happy. All it took was a simple cloaking spell, some drab clothing, a hooded cloak, and no one had suspected a thing. A normal day, where Emma had just been… Emma. Where she could run, play, and dance with no one watching, no expectations to meet. She had looked beautiful in that dirty old cloak, wandering among the busy, dirty stink of life that they rarely saw in their own idyllic kingdom.

His love for her then had been an entirely pure thing in his chest, a doubtless certainty that he had never thought to question. Until all his dreams had come true, until she had fallen in love with him; until their wedding day, until her blasted father and all his bloody concern had rather rudely interrupted an otherwise perfect ceremony. And she had never admitted it, not once, not in all their years as a married couple, as rulers of their kingdom, had she revealed an unprompted truth: That their marriage, for all its pomp, had been an illusory, regrettable event. Killian was no King, no husband fit for her or anyone.

He had simply wanted her to admit it.

“Ahem.”

The soft clearing of a throat roused him from his sad reverie, and he turned to find Archibald, the well-dressed cricket, standing quite patiently at his elbow.

“Your Majesty,” he began, bowing so low it seemed as if his ridiculous top hat might tumble right off his head, “may I have a word?”

Killian sighed, he was overdue for a monotonous, repetitive speech about the citizenry and their many dramatic and ill-founded complaints. “What it is now, cricket?”

“Forgive me, Your Majesty, I only wish to make a… suggestion.” The King raised a skeptical brow, and he continued, “If I may.”

“Well?” Killian prompted impatiently, “What is it?”

The cricket contemplated, removing his top hat and fingering the rim, carefully picking and choosing the right words in order to bring his plans to fruition without offending the King. A tall order for a tiny bug, to be quite sure.

“Her Majesty the Queen,” he started slowly, hesitating at the King’s small intake of breath, “has quite a vested interest in those boys.”

“Yes,” his sharp tone akin to the snapping of his fingers, “I’m well aware, so if you wouldn’t mind arriving at the point…?”

“As a man fond of a good wager, Your Highness, I do believe you might find that interest to work quite handsomely in your own favor.”

That seemed to catch the King’s otherwise divided attention, his handsome face betraying a quiet interest. “And how have you arrived at that conclusion?”

“She would be quite willing to see them happy,” the cricket pressed on, his limbs stilling on the brim of his hat as his confidence grew, “and I do believe you could use such a desire to your considerable advantage.”

Quite willing, Killian thought as his eyes returned to the empty path the boys had tread, their forms now barely discernible in the darkness.

“Yes,” he answered decidedly, his gaze never wavering from the village beyond, “I do believe I could.”

“I’m sorry, you’d like me to agree to what?”

Killian had to suppress a chuckle at the delicate arch of her suspicious brow; it was, after all, the only bit of her he could discern from his end of the table. Their breakfast was piled unusually high that morning, with pastries both sweet and savory, piles of fruit so fresh they still sparkled with the dew of early morning, decanters of wine so rich it was as if the very air between them became intoxicated by their scent.

“A simple wager, my darling, I’m almost certain you know what those entail.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” she answered hotly, pouring herself another glass of wine, “What are the terms of this… ‘wager?’”

“Simple, really,” he paused at her predictable scoff and continued, “if your sweet Prince Henry can defy the wishes of his family and choose the person he really loves, as you so desperately believe, then you, my love… will finally win.”

“‘Win’ what?” she answered innocently, lips pursed suspiciously tightly.

“Don’t condescend, love, it doesn’t suit you,” he replied happily, his own wine tasting bitter in his mouth, “You know perfectly well what I mean. I will concede to you in all things, exactly as you wish.”

“That’d be a neat trick.”

“Ah, yes,” his finger raised pointedly in the air of war between them, “but if I win, and young Master Henry meets my every expectation, you must admit to the truth of our blissful nuptials.”

“Well, then,” she answered after a careful moment of silence, another elegant sip of wine, “in the greater interest of my happiness I see no reason as to why I should decline your generous offer.”

He raised his heavy, bejeweled goblet in the air, an infuriating smirk on his face, “Shall we make a toast?”

“We shall,” raising her own wine in challenge, “May the best woman—”

“...Or man,” Killian interrupted playfully, his large ring tapping meaningfully against the rim of his own cup.

“‘Or man,” she corrected, nodding her head in agreement, “May the best man or woman, win.”

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine Advent Drabble - “You Must Bring a Hat” (Rated PG13)

After Blaine exposes Tracy to a G-rated version of his Tom Hardy infatuation for the hundredth time, Kurt finds a way to retaliate using a past obsession of his own. (1110 words)

Written for the Klaine Advent Drabble prompt ‘video’ and inspired by this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4LjEifKxzw&feature=youtu.be.

Read on AO3.

“Oops!” Tracy and Blaine recite in unison, then father and daughter giggle like giddy thieves. But Kurt, standing outside the partially open door, rolls his eyes. “Still,” they continue along with a third voice in the background, “Nigel’s party was worth the hassle, even if we were a little bit late.”

Blaine and Tracy applaud with gusto, as if they just watched Ian McKellen perform Macbeth. Or as if they haven’t seen this stupid video on Blaine’s laptop about one-hundred and thirty-six times. (As according to Blaine’s YouTube viewing history, and Kurt can’t even say with any certainty that Blaine watched it all those times with Tracy.)

“I don’t think I’ve ever danced with an elephant wearing a tutu,” Tom Hardy confesses to his sleepy target audience … and Blaine. “Or have I …?”

Tracy snickers, but Blaine laughs a little too loud, and an unamused Kurt decides that this must end.

“Hey, guys,” he says, sauntering into Tracy’s room like he hasn’t been standing outside this whole time.

“Hey, Daddy!” Tracy bounces onto her knees in bed, reaching out with grabby hands to hug her father.

“Hey, Kurt,” Blaine says, but with his eyes half-glued to the screen, watching the last few seconds of Tom wishing everyone a good night, so Kurt feels no guilt whatsoever for ignoring him.

“Time for bed, Trace.” Kurt tucks the girl underneath her comforter and kisses her forehead.

“Aw! Just one more video?” Tracy pleads, even though she yawns three times during that short sentence.

“Yeah,” Blaine pleads with her. “Just one more?”

“Nope,” Kurt says with a bit of snap. “It’s already past your bedtime. Both of you.”

“Better do what he says. It sounds like Daddy might be a little grumpy tonight,” Blaine whispers.

“Maybe you could do something to cheer him up,” Tracy suggests.

“Maybe,” Blaine agrees.

“I doubt it,” Kurt grumbles. He turns on Tracy’s nightlight, then blows her one last kiss before he and Blaine, cradling his laptop to his chest like a sacred relic, leave her bedroom.

“So,” Kurt says in a lowered voice, leading the way down the hall towards the stairs, “you watched that video again, did you?”

Blaine chuckles to himself at his husband’s irked tone. “I don’t see what you’re so upset about. CBeebies Bedtime Stories is a very popular kids’ show. We’ve watched other videos in the series,” Blaine says in his defense. “We’ve listened to Simon Pegg read “Chickens Can’t See in the Dark”, and we’ve watched David Tennant read “The Christmas Bear”, and James McAvoy read “The Dinosaur that Pooped a Planet” …”

“Yeah, but according to your history, after each one you watch Tom Hardy read “You Must Bring a Hat”,” Kurt points out, starting down the stairs.

“I can’t help it if it’s Tracy’s favorite story.”

Kurt rolls his eyes at that blatant exaggeration. “You know, it’s kind of creepy the way you’ve included our daughter in this Tom Hardy fetish of yours.” Kurt hurries down the last few steps and heads straight for his studio - not necessarily to outpace his husband, but being able to stay a step ahead is helping his mood.

“It’s not a fetish. As a fellow actor, I appreciate his work.”

Kurt stops at the door, turning to face him. “And as the man who once proclaimed that Tom Hardy might end up being your second husband?”

“Well” – Blaine smiles subconsciously, his cheeks turning bright pink – “I also appreciate his dreamy accent and his stunning eyes.”

“A-ha. Well, then.” Kurt walks into his studio and shuts the door in his husband’s face. Blaine sighs, nose to wood. He tries the door, but it’s locked.

“Kurt,” he says, jiggling the knob, “don’t be like this.”

“I’m not being like anything,” Kurt answers. “I have to return a call. I just want a little privacy.”

“Oh really?” Blaine says, not buying it one bit.

“Yes.”

“And who are you calling? Isabelle? Your Dad?”

Kurt doesn’t answer, but Blaine can hear Kurt inside his studio, dialing a number with his phone on speaker. After two rings, the call picks up. A man’s voice says, “Hello?”

“Hello, Taylor?”

“Yes?”

“Hi! This is Kurt. Kurt Hummel? I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you.”

“Kurt?” The man sounds tired, like Kurt may have woken him from calling it an early night. But suddenly he says, “Oh, Kurt!” bright and cheerful, as if this one phone call has made his day. “Yes! I’ve been waiting to hear from you!”

“Did I wake you?”

“Don’t worry about it. Not a problem. Thank you for returning my call.”

“Taylor?” Blaine mutters. “Who’s Taylor?” Blaine puts his ear to the door, raising an eyebrow at the familiar-ish voice. He wishes he wasn’t listening through the door. He can almost place it.

“I just want to start out by telling you … this is a little embarrassing … it’s been a dream of mine to work with you.”

“Same here. After I saw your last winter line, I have to say, I was smitten.” Taylor laughs. It sounds shy … and flirty. “I asked my agent then and there what I had to do to get my hands on one of your suits.”

“Did you really?” Kurt giggles. It also sounds flirty.

“Yeah. It’s no secret that I think you’re extremely talented.”

“Thank you. That’s very kind. I loved you in the Twilight series, by the way.”

“Ugh. You saw that, huh?” Another flirty laugh.

“I want you to know that I was Team Jacob all the way.”

“Team Jacob?” Blaine repeats in confusion. “What the … oh you’ve gotta be kidding me …”

“So, can I see you tomorrow?” Taylor asks, the question sounding more suggestive than it should, in Blaine’s opinion, if he’s just asking for a consult on a suit.

“Yes, sir. Anytime you want. I am open and available.”

Blaine knocks to remind Kurt that his husband is standing outside his door. “Kurt …?”

“You know, I know this is going to sound like a weird question, but I’ve always wondered … how do you feel about lilacs?”

“That’s not a weird question at all. I love lilacs.”

“Kurt …?” Blaine knocks louder.

“Wonderful! Because there’s a lovely secluded meadow right by my studio. I know it’s a little unconventional, but the weather’s been so nice lately. We can meet there, go for a stroll, look over some sketches …”

“That sounds incredible. Count me in.”

Blaine combines knocking with jiggling the knob again, ready to take the door off the hinges if he has to. “Kurt, that’s not … that’s not funny …”

[wolfarmystories]

A Version of AU

(So I wrote this for my Creative Writing class; it’s a form of an crossover I wanted to do but never did (mainly because it’s so big with a LOT of fandoms). In the spirit of Never Before Seen, I present my Final Piece for that class X3

Fandoms: Power Rangers, Gotham, Hetalia, Numb3rs, Whedonverse, Harry Potter, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Characters: Oswld Cobblepot, Ivan Braginski, Charlie Epps, Tommy Oliver, Kimberly Ann, Tsuki Kokuryuu, Sabrina Nightshade

Category: Crossover AU

Summary: See Introduction

Introduction:

The city of Hyperion is a strange city, full of strange people and strange situations. Almost a sentient being in and of itself, the city contains all sorts; gangsters and police, angels and demons (both literal and metaphorical), gods and mortals (also both in the literal sense and in the metaphoric sense), those who are happy and those who are unhappy. Four libraries, one of which no one knows about. A high school. An university. The mansion owned by the Penguin Gang. The old estate kept by the Braginski Russian Mafia family. The police station and city hall and the Iceberg Lodge. And The End Bar.

This is the starting point: Ivan Braginski has lost his prized songbird and the thief? Oswald Cobblepot.

This is the problem: Ivan leads the Braginski family, one of the two most powerful families in Hyperion. Oswald is the master puppeteer who commands the Penguin Gang, the other powerful group.

This is the situation: In anger Ivan has declared war and split Hyperion down the middle. If his bird is not returned? Then he will destroy half of Hyperion and with it the despicable pest who took her.

This is the truth: Oswald wants power. And to get it he steals away the girlfriend of Ivan, the blind songstress Sabrina. And in doing so has started a war that threats all of the city. School is at a standstill as children, teens and adults alike cannot get to the university, high school, junior high, elementary without passing through warlines. The people making the laws are under Ivan's control but the people who would uphold those laws are Oswald's. The streets are unsafe. The people are afraid and confused. And in the middle of it, the only neutral ground is the bar owned by Sabrina's cousin, Tsuki. No one dares fights at The End. No one dares piss off Oswald by trying to take it for Ivan. No one dares claim it for Oswald under Ivan's watchful eye. And no one wants Tsuki or her workers to beat them to a bloody pulp by trying anything.

Peace is a forgotten dream...or is it?

With the tensions in the air...

And the chance for change standing on the shoulders of five individuals specifically...

Let us bring up the curtain and see how this grand old play will continue tonight; let the players take their stage and tell us their stories.

Begin the tale and with it, The End....

Ivan:

(Songs: This Means War (Avenged Sevenfold, especially important), Legion of Evil (OFF!), Throne (Bring Me The Horizon), The Red (Chevelle), Dark Side of Me (Coheed and Cambria), Destruction (Joywave), Never Giving Up (Of Mice and Men), This is War (Thirty Seconds to Mars), Angel of Darkness (Alex C))

Toris knew from the sound of breaking glass that things were not going to be easy or good today. Walking down the eastern hallway of the old manor he happened to glance at servants and allies, even Borsche the cat, running from the inner rooms. And it left him feeling more and more cold as he made his way inward; he didn't really want to do this but he really had no choice. Ivan was in the middle of picking the last of his priceless antique Russian lamp up off the table and shattering it like its kin when the door opened. Started to open; the lamp, originally meant for the western wall, made contact with the wood instead and there was a familiar shriek that told him Toris was on the other side. Normally terrorizing him amused the large Russian, making Toris squeal and cry, but it didn't amuse him now. Nothing was going to amuse him until he got his way and completely destroyed his enemy. "S-sir," Toris stuttered, sticking his head tentatively through the door, fear clear on his face. Ivan glared at him and put a hand on the heavy bible kept on the same table as the lamp used to. "Did you need something, Toris?" Toris frowned and bit his lip some before gulping and walking in. "Y-yes, s-s-sir-" "Toris," Ivan said and the smile that slipped onto his face did nothing to make Toris feel more calm. "Y-yes?" "You do realize what I will do to you if you don't stop stuttering right now, da?" Toris paled and nodded vigorously; the smile fell then. "What is it then?" "It's about, um," Toris said and hesitated; he knew what he said next might get him killed but Ivan himself had told him to inform him of any developments pertaining to the current situation. He gulped again, "The Penguin Gang." He barely evaded the book that came flying at his head and with wide eyes he stared at Ivan. The man was visibly fuming, his eyes narrowed and his form, still in the stance to throw the book relaxed only after another minute and he breathed through his nose, "Yes Toris? What about them?" "In light of your declaration of half of the city being blocked against them," Toris started, "Including the high school, university and food stores, the Penguin Gang has..." "Yes?" He sighed and put his hands behind his back, trying to stand at attention. "The Penguin Gang has attempted to break the blockade and in return have blocked our men from the hospital." There was a silence for a moment then a noise, more beast than man, more primal than human, erupted. Toris was shaken and could only look on with abject horror as Ivan once more resumed destroying his room. The Mafia boss kicked the table, demolishing it easily; curses and threats, all spoken in a quick Russian, filled the air, only joined with English near the end. "That little crippled pigeon; him and his entire gang of bastards, as if taking my songbird from me was not crime enough for them. Who does he think he is, a petty little jester trying to bite the king?" He growled and turned on Toris and suddenly it struck him that Ivan meant for him to reply. He tried, grasping at words but before any could leave his lips Ivan was on him, grabbing him by the throat and heaving him up pressed him hard again the wall. Toris winced and gasped for breath but it was difficult, so very difficult, and Ivan, smiling once more with a dangerous gleam in his eyes, spoke gently. Too gently. "Well then, Toris, if the deformed bird wants a war than who are we to say no to him, da?" He tightened his grip and Toris could feel his face heat up as his inability to breathe got worse with the pressure. Tears welled up in his eyes but Ivan did not notice; his attention was elsewhere. "Yes, we will teach that damned pest why I rule this city and he is but a fool, running around my feet." With that he finally dropped Toris and the underling gasped and gulped down air as much and as fast as he could. Ivan paid him no mind, walking back into the room. He made his way to the only standing chair and sitting down he continued to smile at Toris. "Tell our men this: Let no one through the borderline. No one. We have obviously been far too lenient. From now on anyone coming from the Southern portion of the city is considered an ally of Cobblepot and his Penguin Gang." Toris spoke before thinking, "Sir? Um, a few of the kids from the elementary, junior high and high school live below the border; what about-" "They are enemies of our family, Toris," Ivsn said with a sharp but kind tone; he smiled more, "You wouldn't want our family to be hurt more, do you? Not after they stole our lovely songbird." Toris paled but shook his head obediently. He had to ask though, "And, um, what of Tsuki and The End? It is-" He didn't know where the bottle came from but making contact with his face and shattering he screamed, falling to his knees in pain, trying to pull out the glass. Ivan spoke smoothly, "Do not speak of that woman. Now go get cleaned up; you look unsightly." Toris cried but managed, bleeding and weak, to get back to his feet and retreated from the room. Leaving Ivan on his own and the man brooded in his chair for a moment. Another bottle hit the wall and he growled to himself. He clenched the arms of his chair then getting up he threw it too. "I will win this war," he roared and resumed his destruction "I will reclaim what is mine and no one, not Cobblepot, not his damned gang, and certainly not that bitch Tsuki will stop me!"

Charlie:

(Songs: 21 Guns (Green Day), Imagine (The Beatles, especially important) I Wish You Peace (The Eagles), Dead Hearts (Stars), This is War (Thirty Seconds to Mars), Angel of Darkness (Alex C), War (Edwin Starr), Stop Children What's That Sound (Buffalo Springfield), Life on Mars (David Bowie))

Charlie was many things; he was a professor at Hyperion University, he was a consultant for the FBI, he was a math genius and he was friends with a lot of strange and interesting figures and he was bad at spelling (though he hated the mere idea of admitting to that) and he used to not believe in ghosts until one took up office next door to him at the University. One thing he wasn't was a soldier. The disagreements between the Braginski family and the Penguin Gang had always been there; two powerful mafia families in one city, it wasn't a stretch to assume they would be naturally at odds with each other. Territory disputes, arguments over rights, the occasional shootout; he wouldn't say he liked them, at all, but faced with the current situation Charlie found himself wishing for those days when things were somehow easily. But no, Oswald had to make things personal and now Charlie was witness to things that made the shootouts tame. Making his way from his home in the residential parts of the city, he passed: a member of Ivan's family holding down a teenaged boy wearing a suit and holding a gun to his head; a long line at one of the few groceries stores in what was now Northern Hyperion with shaking children clinging to their parents hands; the city hall boarded up but with windows ablaze with light as those inside tried to "wait it out"; Ivan's men patrolling Main Street where the border was designated, all to keep out their enemies, while in the background a young man looks around with fear in his eyes as he crossed the line, clenching a philosophy textbook to his chest for dear life. He almost felt like a monster for it but his heart hurt the most at the sight of the boy and he watched as the boy was seen and with wide eyes approached by the patrollers, guns held up. The boy dropped his book and Charlie moved to help him but felt a hand grab his wrist and looking at the owner, Amita pulled him along, dragging him really away. Her expression was stern but in her eyes was sadness no less than his. The University was in no better state.

In truth it could almost be called worse. There were a good number of students who lived in the nearby apartments and student housing yet the campus felt like a ghost town. Only a few came, only a few were brave enough even to try, and they scurried across the lands like frightened mouse. Not half because of the presence of the men who wandered the grounds with barely disguised intention.

Charlie was reminded of how most of the lecture halls had been "graciously and gladly offered to the Braginski family for use in first aid services and medical treatment". Translation as Charlie understood it; they took over the lecture halls, for tending to the injured yes, necessary with the hospital in Southern Hyperion, but notably it was for the members of the family. No civilian interestingly had been brought there... "Amita," Charlie spoke, his voice a bit a hoarse; having loud, angry discussions with the dean of the University for hours on end tended to do that, even if it was last night, tended to have an effect.

“Hmm,” she said; she knew without him speaking, “Charlie...”

“This isn't right.” He said this a lot. This wasn't right, this wasn't fair, this couldn't be. Hyperion University was supposed to be a bastion of knowledge, a sanctuary for those who wanted knowledge; he could still remember the noise of the campus only a few weeks before with all the students about and the excitement and the feeling of being in front of class and dealing with that. He remembered how it felt to watch his students be startled by some strange demonstration about some fact of life, like his lecture involving roulette and black jack....

But no, this was not how it was now. His school, his students, this was not what he wanted to see. And knowing that the dean did nothing but let it, allowed in the cause of the trouble...

Well, not the full cause. There was more and his chest started to tighten as he thought to himself something he didn't really much like himself. He didn't want to blame it on them, it wasn't their fault as more than it was his. Then that student from that morning shone in his face again and he looked at Amita, “We should have helped him.”

“He'll be fine,” she tried to reassure him, smiling in her gentle way, in her loving way; she kissed his cheek but it didn't make him feel any better, “They'll give him a warning and he'll find his way here.”

Warning huh? Like what; a lost finger? An arm? Maybe a bullet to the stomach, throw him back into the southern half, leave him to die, assume that he would be found and taken to Universal Hearts General. He didn't like the idea of the warnings and he shook his head, continuing to walk.

He walked down the halls. He walked through the buildings. He walked to his office and he walked to his table and Amita tried to follow until he grabbed a piece of chalk; he was starting to lose himself and he knew it wouldn't help any longer, having her there, “Go.”

His words were harsh but she knew they meant no harm; giving him a sad look she left the room, closing the door behind her. With that he started the same cycle.

P = NP.

P does not equal NP.

P versus NP.

The powers to which N is raised is made to be propotional to the set of problems known by the collective P.

But this was confusing.

Charlie didn't find math confusing. Charlie found math beautiful and simple and easier than humans and this problem, as complex as it really was, made his mind settle. He was not alone in his mind, there were thousands, countless numbers, but he counted them all and he tried to count them all. He put them in order and he tried to make order of chaos.

This was chaos. The warring was chaos and he hated that, because he couldn't count the humans and problems and situations and put them back in order and he couldn't fix any of it as easily as he found it easy to put together the numbers into a line. Even if P versus NP still refused to be solved.

It occurred to him he had class; he always had class. But he had so few students now; only one or two managed to get to the University now. Soon it would be none. Would he just do the problem then? Should he drown in the numbers?

He wanted to, he really did. He wanted to drown. But he remembered Amita.

No, not enough.

He remembered the school and the students. He liked them a lot; he loved the school. That's why he had yelled at the dean after all. That's why he had fought so much; he wanted the dean to tell the Braginski to get lost or at least help out the students who kept getting hurt too and he wanted them to let the students come to school. And no one listened.

That just made him dive deeper.

What about The End then? Not the end in the general, The End as the specific, the bar. He also liked the bar.

He didn't want to blame Tsuki for not talking to Oswald and telling him to fix things.

He wanted to go listen to come good music.

He wanted to do his math problems and listen to the music and talk to Tsuki and Tommy and everyone and see his brother...

Don had gotten hurt too; he wondered if Don had been taken to Universal Hearts or if he was forced to survive with what little was at the FBI medical wise.

This was getting out of hand.

He turned around and threw the chalk at the wall, breaking it. The chalk, not the wall. His mind was not focused, he was wild and uncertain and too many things were getting through and not enough was getting resolved and it hurt. He just wanted things to go back to how it was. And he wanted to help fix things. He liked that; he liked to help people. He liked helping Don with his cases. And he liked advising his friends about things in their life. And he liked being able to use his math skills to help others.

But nothing seemed to come to him; how can he quantify a conflict? How can he solve a war?

He rubbed his head, feeling it pound as too much was coming in and nothing seemed to be coming out, muttering to himself, “I can't handle this, I just can't.”

It all had to end. It just did. Grabbing his bag he ran out of the room, managing to open his door first of course; he'd try with the dean again, get him to understand, to see how this whole thing, just letting the family walk in and on them, was not helping anyone and especially the students. And then maybe he'd just go rest in Amita's office; she was soothing. And go to The End too, after work. Get everything in order and then the problem could be solved.

Right, that's how it's supposed to be, he told himself.

Tommy:

(Songs: Stronger (Kelly Clarkson), Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance), The Plagues (Prince of Egypt), Bleeding Out (Imagine Dragons), I Will Not Bow (Breaking Benjamin), Dead Hearts (Stars), This is War (Thirty Seconds to Mars), Angel of Darkness (Alex C), Warriors (Imagine Dragons), Icarus (Bastille), Who We Are (Imagine Dragons), Ready Aim Fire (Imagine Dragons), You Want A Battle (Bullet for My Valentine, especially important))

Tommy got the feeling waking up that morning today was going to be a very exciting day. Kim was already when he got up and while part of him simply told him that it was because she had to go to the studio for early practice, he couldn't help revisit the night before. He threw the sheets off him and walking to the bathroom to shower before getting dressed for the day, his mind went over their conversation. Well maybe not conversation; more halfway argument. The two Rangers had tried the night before to help with some peacekeeping with their fellows and the police officers who weren't fearing Oswald or Ivan too much; the result was nothing that surprised him. A lot of fighting, a lot of temptations to call the Dragonzord on some idiots, and a lot more nothing; Kim was the one with the latter opinion. Tommy thought it a success that they managed to help some civilians and even broke up one fight between Ivan's men and Oswald's, but returning to their shared loft Kim was unhappy and Tommy was worried about her. The argument came of the same thing it always did though and standing in the shower he groaned, letting the hot water try to clear away the tension. It wasn't that he didn't agree with her on a level, it was hard not to, but no, he also didn't agree. As much as Kim was frustrated and anxious, with the barricades and fighting and violence and problems with getting anywhere or getting enough food, he refused to blame it all on.... From what felt far away a phone rang and snapped from his thoughts he quickly finished his shower, turning off the water and wrapping a towel around himself he walked out of the bathroom and grabbed the phone from its cradle, almost dropping, "Yea?" "We need you to come in early, Dr. Oliver," said the familiar voice; Principal Randall always sounded the same, like she was two seconds from going for the throat, "Get here by nine." Tommy frowned and checked the nearest clock; 8:30. He cursed silently, when leaving right then that was cutting it close but knew better than to argue. He was too tired to argue with someone else so soon. "Fine, I'll try." "Mmhm." With that the line went dead and he sighed. Yup, very exciting day. Tommy got dressed far more sloppily than he normally preferred; still struggling with his tie, why did he even wear these things anyway?, he got downstairs and fished his keys out of his pocket, climbing into his Jeep. Normally driving in was no trouble, he could get there easily in fifteen minutes but with the war going on... He got to Main Street and stopped. It always went like this: He would get stopped by one of Ivan's men, sometimes Oswald's on the way back, and asked what he was doing. He was tempted, strapped for time as he was, to just snarkily say "You know who I am, I'm the same science teacher you see everyday, that you will continue to see everyday and will likely never stop seeing everyday until either this squabble ends or I finally get killed in the madness." But that was not what he ever said; instead hr flashed his faculty ID, like he always did, and was allowed through, like always, and driving towards the high school, today more than ever, he wondered why. Why didn't he just tell them that? Why didn't he tell Randall to piss off when she asked for what she knew to be at the very least very difficult? He was Tommy Oliver, Power Ranger Extraordinaire, mentor as much as fighter; he stood down much scarier yet his tongue was stayed every time. Why was he feeling so subdued when he would rather be fighting tooth and nail? No answers, but of course; what answers could silence bring? And with that he drove into the parking lot of Solaris High School and tried as always to just find his damned parking spot. He managed to run inside with a few minutes to spare; Randall was waiting for him, but of course she was, and looking at him she raised an eyebrow before shaking her head. She approached him and from behind her he could catch Vice Principal Synder snickering, the little toad. Tommy straightened up as Randall fixed his tie for him. "You are to take over the in-school suspension room today." Tommy blinked, confused. "Something happen to Mr. Giles?" The librarian was usually in charge of that, being as he was one of the teachers who didn't teach a class regularly. In addition unlike Synder and Randall, also teachers without classes, he actually liked the students. "He said he had a medical emergency," Synder said with a sneer, "Probably faking it to avoid the students, not that I can blame him." Tommy really hated Synder, but he bit his tongue and looked at Randall; she was often no less unfriendly but she at least was more manageable. "I'm assuming you already got someone to fill in for me." She nodded. "Severus agreed to take your students for the day." Tommy winced, not sure if that was a good idea but knew it was better than perhaps others they could have chosen; he just hoped the foul tempered potions master didn't do anything to his poor students. He nodded and both the principal and vice principal left. He sighed; very exciting day. For whatever reason there were more students in in-school suspension today than he ever expected. Usually one or two, maybe three or four; ISS was after all a rather harsh punishment, only treated as a step below the final punishment of long-term suspension. Despite the wishes of the administration, expulsion was not something Solaris High School indulged in, something that made Tommy feel at peace at least; in his experience none of their students were capable of anything that could really make them worth really expelling. They could be troublesome, but full out criminals was not in them.

But this? By the time third period came around he had gotten what seemed like almost a full class of students and they ranged:

Kira had been playing outside, again, without permission. ISS for her, being her twentieth infraction of the same thing.

Conner had skipped class and upon being caught, getting into trouble with Ethan who also had skipped, both boys were sent directly to Tommy.

There was Buffy whose only crime seemed to be crossing Synder's path, like it was every day. Along with her was her friend Xander, looking mostly bored, and her friend Willow, who looked mostly scared.

Tommy was a bit surprised to see Kyoya, the head of the disciplinary committee, in there as well and the note he was handed, with a vicious glare from the young man, stated it involved violence. But of course it did.

There were students from all over the school and even a junior high student or two, like Kyoya; the junior high, Helios, was kept on the ground behind the high school so they did often share. But still by Tommy's count there were at least twenty students, almost enough to be the bare minimum for a class, a startling thought. He wondered what it was that was going on.

He was in the middle of telling Willow about the advancements in dinosaur DNA and categorization he had managed to make the other say over at the University when... BAM! The explosion shook the building and bits of the roof rained on them lightly; Willow almost was thrown to the ground but Tommy managed to grab her, watching as the rest of his students nearly fell out of their seats, the few sitting on tables clinging to their tables since there was really not enough chairs for this many students in the ISS room. Ethan, who had been working on some computer program on his laptop, and Kira, who had been practicing in the back, and Conner, who had been sleeping, all looked up and staring at him for a moment ran to the window. Tommy righted Willow and joined them.

It was not a monster attack, the four Rangers realized that immediately; it was much worse. Tommy paled and turned to the students, screaming, “Get out of the room, now!”

The students, startled by their teacher's sudden aggression, just blinked at him for a moment before rushing for the door.

All too late; as Buffy tried to open the door to let the others follow she was suddenly and unceremoniously grabbed. They wrapped their arms around her, holding her tight and Tommy was a bit surprised they even could hold the Slayer so well; more of the invaders rushed in and pointing guns at the students, managed to round up those who tried to run. Tommy felt his heart fall then another explosion and the wall he stood by started to crumble. Conner grabbed Ethan and Kira, pulled them back, only to end up in the huddled circle in the room where their classmates were; Tommy watched as more arrived.

They were dressed in black clothes, like the SWAT team uniforms but more military; he recognized the emblem on their outfits and paled. The Braginski family; it made his blood run cold looking at them, thinking about this. The family who ruled the northern half of the city right now, who should be protecting the school, was attacking it.

One man, official looking and heavily scarred, walked up to Tommy. He was taller than Tommy. He was bigger than Tommy. And he had a big gun in his hands unlike Tommy. Everything about him oozed intimidation and fear; everything in the glare Tommy gave him spoke of the utter lack of impression he felt at the giant before him.

With a sneer the man moved to hit him with the gun but Tommy moved to avoid it. He heard behind him the click of guns and turning his head he saw the guns of a few of the men in the school itself, who had entered the room, pointed. At his students. His heart fell again and he felt the gun of the big man slam into his head.

His vision swam. He could swear he tasted blood in his mouth, and for a moment he wondered if he was dead already. But no, there was still noise; he hear yells, orders and the sound of at least one student, he thought it was Kira but it might have been Ethan or Willow or maybe Kyoya, call out his name, “Dr. Oliver!”

“Insolent fool,” the man said, spitting and kicked Tommy over.

Tommy groaned but after a second was able to see again and after another second managed to get up, if only to sit up; he looked up and the giant was even more giant. “What do you want?”

“This place allows in the spawn of those flightless freaks,” the man said; of course he was talking about the Penguin Gang, Tommy thought to himself. Of course he knew it to be false but the problem was that the majority of the students did come from what was the southern half of the city now, and that was just as bad as being their kids in the Braginski's eyes, “The king says we should give you all a little lesson.”

“I wasn't aware of a change in curriculum,” Tommy muttered and got a kick to the head; now that hurt. But he was good at taking hits; he just spit out the blood, luckily no teeth, and looked up at the man.

He sneered, “You Southerners are all the same.”

“We Hyperions are the same,” said the meek voice of Willow and Tommy's eyes widened; he turned quickly, “No! Leave her alone!”

One of the men cocked his gun, pointing it directly at Willow's head and the young girl's face revealed the utter terror. Buffy started to scream and struggle but being slammed into the nearest wall in response she stopped, going limp; she was unconscious but it did not make Tommy feel better. Conner and Xander both moved to try and grab Willow but got their own set of guns pressed against the back of their heads and had to stop. Kyoya fumed and looked ready to pounce but one of the other students,sweet and timid Chrome, managed to get him to stop.

Tommy wanted to help them but he couldn't move from where he was; he couldn't morph with his morphers all in his bag by the teacher's desk. He couldn't even get up without knowing that they would likely shoot the students before he could do anything. He was powerless. And being a Power Ranger that was the worst feeling he had had in a long time.

He turned back to the leader of the group and looked up at him, “Tell them to leave my students alone.”

“They're worthless little birds, all from that jester's court; why should we?” the man said, “What is in it for us?”

Tommy did not have an answer to that. The man gave him one, smirking. “You. You're the leader of the Rangers in the city, aren't you? You're friends with Tsuki Kokuryuu.”

That did not sound good. “Tell you what; we'll leave your precious little students and your little school alone but you have to do one thing for me.”

“What?” Tommy asked, regretting it immediately.

“You will go and tell that woman to force the leader of the Penguin Gang to give back the girl,” the man said and crouched down to him, “I know she can do that; everyone knows that Tsuki and him are friendly. And rumor has it so are you and her.”

Tommy was quiet for a moment. But it was not because he was thinking. It was always this; even Kim thought it. Tsuki was the key, Oswald needed to give the girl he took back to Ivan, Tommy needed to tell Tsuki to do it... yet more than any of that he felt his blood boil more hearing the implications in the man's voice.

Screw safety; in a swift and angry movement he headbutted the man as hard he could, knocking him over. He then jumped up and turned to try and make sure his students were okay.

The other men had been distracted. Long enough for Conner to use his super speed to slam two of them into a wall. Long enough for Kyoya to grab his tonfas from his bag and beat another five to a bloody pulp within seconds. Long enough for Buffy to regain consciousness, or maybe she'd been awake all along, and getting free assist in the collective butt kicking. Kira grabbed a chair and smacked someone with it and Ethan used his armor skin to block some bullets before helping Conner slam into people, alongside a rather excited Xander screaming “Viva la Problem Children!”

Tommy could only stare. And after a second, laugh. The students were fighting back. The students he had worried about protecting only moments before were defending themselves. And he had been worried about not doing anything, had thought not to do anything. And for just that morning he'd been feeling subdued when students much younger, much less experienced, fought.

He kept laughing even as they took down all their enemies and the students stared at him. He then wiped an eye and walked over, walking over bodies, not the dead but throughly broken, and spoke, “Come on kids, we should probably take back out school.”

Tsuki:

(Songs: Angel of Darkness (Alex C), Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance), Icarus (Bastille), It's My Life (Bon Jovi), Daughter of the Moon (Adriana Figueroa), Demons (Imagine Dragons), This is War (Thirty Seconds to Mars), I Will Not Bow (Breaking Benjamin), Bleeding Out (Imagine Dragons), Pompeii (Bastille), Our Solemn Hour (Within Temptation), Dead Hearts (Stars), Wine Red (Hush Sound), Truth Beneath the Rose (Within Temptation, especially important))

Jason had not yet come in for work when the others arrived. Roderich was helping Tsuki with some early housekeeping details and both looked up from their seats at one of the far tables to see Kim walk in first. Or rather stalk angrily; behind her Tommy followed, looking equal parts exhausted, worried, and upset, and not far behind Charlie and Amita brought up the rear. The former was looking drained and it left Tsuki wondering what was going on. Not that visits by her favorite teachers, and their lovely girlfriends, were uncommon; Tommy and Charlie often were the first customers she had of the night but this was different, that much was obviously. Tsuki stood up, brow furrowed in concern for the tension her friends brought with them. "Kim, Amita, boys wha-" Her sentence was cut short as Kim slapped her. The noise reverberated through the otherwise quiet room and Roderich got to his feet with wide eyes. "Kim!" Tommy yelled and grabbed her arm before she could do more, dragging her back. Kim simply glared at Tsuki who stood there, hand to her cheek, surprised and staring back at her as the pink Ranger spoke, "Fix this." Tsuki lowered her hand and as Roderich tried to move she held it up once more, this time to stop him. She directed Kim, "Fix what?" Her words were crisp and punctuated but she was angry; she knew what Kim was going to say before she could say it. It was pretty obvious; turning her gaze to the others she noted their own expressions. Charlie's surprise at Kim getting violent, the concern on Amita's face, and the anger in Tommy's eyes; it occurred to her that something was different in each of them, a decisiveness that made their emotions only more clear to her eyes. Something had happened in the last twenty-four hours. "Make that man stop this fighting," Kim said to her and Tsuki raised an eyebrow at her, "I know you can, Tsuki." "Roderich, could you give us a few minutes?" Tsuki asked head turned only slightly to address the pianist; he blinked then nodded his head before bowing out the room by way of the side door. Once the five were alone she sighed and took her seat again, pushing up her glasses to rub the bridge of her nose. "Now...I assume by 'that man' you mean Oswald?" "We know you're in communication with him," Kim said and frowned, "Tell him to just give the woman back and get this ended." "The woman," Tsuki started her gaze cold, "has a name." Spitting venom with her words Kim stepped back into Tommy in surprise of the aggression; he put a hand on her shoulder for a second then pulled away, walking over to stand between the two women. "Hey, lets be civil about this okay?" "But Tommy," Kim said. "No buts," he responded, head turned to look at her, "Now apologize for hitting Tsuki." Kim looked startled by this and she simply stared for a moment before sighing. "Fine, I'm sorry." Tsuki waved it off; honestly the violence had been far less annoying than Kim's calling Sabrina "the woman". Tommy smiled some and patted Kim's head, letting Charlie speak next, "Tsuki probably is in contact with Cobblepot-" "I am, I won't lie." He frowned her interrupting and she gave him a sheepish smile. He went on. "She is in contact with him but that doesn't mean she can just tell him to end this war and give Sabby over to Ivan." "My cousin is no bargaining tool," Tsuki said, taking a lollipop from her pocket and popping it in her mouth, "I'm not going to ask him to treat her like one." Kim frowned and stepped towards her, barred from actual close contact by Tommy. "Ivan and Oswald certainly seem to think of her as some prize, enough to turn the city into a war zone. Tsuki, you have to do something, anything! Everyone knows you're the only neutral zone, there has to be a reason for it." "Because I'll shove a pool cue up a place the sun don't shine if they try to start anything here?" Tsuki offered, eyebrow raised; no one laughed at her bad joke and she groaned, rubbing her head, "Look why would you think Oswald would do anything other than laugh if I tried to tell him what to do?" "You're friends aren't you?" Amita asked, speaking up finally and looked to Charlie for a moment, "He'd at least take your counsel to mind." "Yeah, what Amita said," Kim said, "Come on, at least talk to him; besides wouldn't you rather see the city at peace? Just tell him to give Sabby back to Ivan; I'm sure she'll be happier with her beloved than as a hostage." Tsuki's hand clenched and Tommy, noting, looked to Charlie before turning to Kim again. "Kimmy, maybe not that..." She looked at him in confusion. "What? She would be I'm sure; I mean it would be like taking me from you. I'd want to come back to; honestly I would fight to get back but I guess Sabby being the way she is-" "Shut up, Kimberly," Tsuki said her voice sudden ice; Tommy frowned and looking to Charlie the two men realized a danger the girls were not as aware of. Kim was taken aback by the harsh words and blinking she then turned back on her own coldness. "No, I won't shut up. I know she's your cousin and all but if letting her go back to Ivan will end all this fighting-" "I will not condone her being forced to go back to that monster!" Tsuki screamed, slamming her hand down on the table and the four jumped. She glared, though it was not for Kim or Tommy or anyone there; Charlie knew though, Tommy knew, and rubbing her head again in frustration Tsuki sunk into her chair, "Go." "Tsuki," Amita started, stepping forward but Charlie stopped her. She looked at him and he gave her a gentle smile, "Go on, wait in the car." "What about you Charlie?" She asked. "We'll try to reason with her," Tommy said and pushed Kim outside, Charlie leading Amita after him, "You two just leave it to us." Kim frowned and looked ready to argue but he closed the door and locked it. She stalked away from the door and Tommy sighed. "You're going to get an earful about that," said Tsuki's voice softly. He laughed bitterly. "Yeah well I'll worry about that later. Charlie, lets have a drink." The college professor blinked at his high school colleague and then followed him to the bar; Tommy jumped the counter and grabbed a bottle from behind. He didn't really care which bottle; he just wanted a drink. He was pouring it out when Charlie sat down and Tommy spoke, "Tsuki, get your grumpy butt over here and drink with us." She frowned and huffed, arms crossed. "No thanks, I don't want anything." "Wasn't an offer." "Not your alcohol to offer anyway." Yet she got up and dumping herself onto one barstool she grabbed the bottle from Tommy, the man hanging a glass to Charlie at that moment. "This is my good vodka," she said semi-sullenly. Charlie downed the glass in one gulp and winced. "That's really strong." "Tsuki likes it strong," Tommy said and making his way back to the other side of the bar he took a seat between the two and grabbed back the bottle; he poured out two more glasses, and refilled Charlie's. He picked his up, "Cheers." Tsuki and Charlie did the same and blinked their three glasses together before taking a drink. The Russian water barely burned her throat on the way down, or maybe she just didn't notice it as much; she stared at her drink and Tommy continued to use up her good vodka. Finally she spoke again, "I can't." "Can't what, buttercup?" Tommy asked pouring out another glass. "He hurt her," she said, continuing as if he hadn't spoken, "I can't just tell Oswald to give her back to him; Kim is wrong. She's safer with Oswald..." "I know," Tommy said nodding. Charlie frowned. "Tsuki, outside of the three of us and those three no one knows about what happened, of what Ivan did to her; Kim and Amita still think it was just an accident." Tsuki frowned too now and she stared at her glass for a moment, swirling it around; seeing the tears forming in her eyes neither man really thought. Tommy leaned over and wrapped an arm around her, Charlie getting up out of his seat to do similar. She held back any sobs very well. “That monster made my cousin....he is a monster and I do not care what Kim or Amita or anyone says. I am not telling Oswald to give her back to Ivan, not now, not ever.”

“We know, Tsuki,” Charlie said and awkwardly rubbed her back, “I know.”

Tommy sighed and pulled away, letting Charlie take over the physical comfort; he looked at the bottle for a moment before taking a big swig. The vodka stung a lot but it didn't much matter. “You do care, Tsuki. We both know you do; you love this city and you love its people and you love singing in this little hole in the ground you call The End and you love-”

He stopped then shook his head, “Kim thinks you are in charge here though which we both know is bullshit. You're not, any more than I am, any more than Charlie is. You're just a player.”

There was silence for a moment before with a solemn nod Tsuki shook off Charlie and grabbed the bottle from Tommy; she took a swig too then coughed. “Oswald's the one with power here; it's his choice.”

Frowning as he watched them Charlie then moved and took his place as the third member; he took his own large gulp of the potent vodka and muttered in the end, “Let's hope he makes the right one then...”

Oswald:

(Songs: Angel of Darkness (Alex C), Angel With a Shotgun (The Cab), Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance), You Want a Battle (Bullet For My Valentine), Absolute Beginners (David Bowie), Demons (Imagine Dragons), For the Heart I Once Had (Nightwish), This is War (Thirty Seconds to Mars), Warriors (Imagine Dragons), Ready Aim Fire (Imagine Dragons), Cantarella (Miku and Kaito), Hand of Sorrow (Within Temptation), Memories (Within Temptation), Our Solemn Hour (Within Temptation), Dead Hearts (Stars), Swan Song (Within Temptation), The Plagues (Prince of Egypt), Oni to Musume/The Ogre and the Maiden/Demon and Daughter (Kaito, especially important))

It was time. Victor of course wanted to be the one to go; the master assassin was always itching for a fight and more so against the enemies of their gang. Or the allies. Or civilians; really anyone he came across. Of course he was a little twitchy because some time during the conflict he'd been commanded by the boss that no civilians were to be harmed, the bloodshed was to be kept to a minimum and to only fight if the other side initiated it. Personally he blamed the songbird. Oswald was frowning at himself in the mirror, taking stock of himself. He was short. His right foot was awkwardly oriented, a fact that made Oswald bristle. His hair, despite not having showered yet, looked wet and stuck to his head in awkward spikes. Dressed in one of his suits, not the finest he had of course but one of the nicer ones, he looked a little too much like a... "Penguin," he muttered to himself and scowling hobbled his way away from the offending thing. This would never work, it wasn't going to work. "Oswald?" A voice called out to him and he snapped away from his thoughts, head turning towards the doorway to his bedroom. Sabrina was standing there, holding onto the door frame. It occurred to him she still didn't know her way around the mansion yet and that she even made it here on her own was impressive. In addition he ended up noting the fact she wasn't wearing the short cut dress Ivan had her in back at his place; with a tinge of amusement and irony she wore instead a black suit, tailored to her form, her black hair braided over one shoulder. She reminded him of Tsuki in a way. He didn't realize he was smiling until she tried to walk over to him and stumbled over the slight hitch in the couch; it was then he frowned and moving fast as he could with his bad leg he tried to catch her. She landed against him and he, despite his own displeasure and the pain it caused, put enough pressure on his injured leg to keep both standing; he winced but of course she wouldn't see that. She turned her head up from his chest to look at him and blinked, "Oswald?" "You shouldn't be wandering around without an escort," he said trying to sound tough; why did she have to appear now of all times? Maybe it was a good sign... She pouted and pulled away. "I'm not a child; I do not need a babysitter." No, he said in his mind but not aloud, watching as she crossed her arms only for the mildest sign of panic to cross her face and she reached out to grab his arm, blank red eyes searching blindly for something she would never see; you're not a child. He smiled instead at her, in his awkward Oswald way and put a hand on hers, seeing relief wash over her face. No, she wasn't a child but she was a bit helpless. "Where are you planning on going?" She asked him, running her fingers over his sleeve. "What makes you think I'm going anywhere?" He inquired already guessing the answer. She smiled at him and slid her hand up to his shoulder. "This isn't one of your normal suits; it feels different, softer. Are you going somewhere fancy?" Fancy was not the word he was thinking of and he watched as her fingers moved to the small gem on his cross tie. She chuckled and stroked it gently, "What color?" He blinked then spoke, "Red." He saw her face light up and smiling lightly he went on, "A deep vibrant red, bright and shimmering in the light, akin..." Oswald caught himself and she looked confused. Biting his lip he spoke, "Blood. It looks like solidified blood, a tiny little blood stone." It wasn't entirely a lie, it really wasn't. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the full truth. Sabrina though seemed to believe it anyway and smiled happily, "Bloodstones aren't pure red though, silly." "You have me there; its cuprite," he said and put a hand over hers, "I should get you back to your room." "You didn't answer where you're going," she said, blinking as he gripped her fingers. "Out; I'll be back soon," he said and pulled on her, leading her out of the room, "You just...stay in your room. Don't leave it again until I come back." He knew that wouldn't go over well; she made a soft whine and tightened her hold on his hand before speaking, "Can't I come with you?" "No!" He yelled it before he could think and turned on her; she was frightened by his voice, he could see it. And he thought back, back to when he first met her, when the thought to take her had first crossed his mind; that look in her eyes as Ivan had dragged her out of The End that night, sadness and a forced smile and fear. She was afraid of him now too and while only a few months before he wouldn't mind it, what did he care of the prize being afraid, no let her be afraid of him, now... Now it was empty and it hurt. He didn't want to scare her; he was going to go bring the war directly to the king's doorstep and it would not be for a prize, for the songbird or a woman or Tsuki's cousin. It would be for Sabrina. He pulled her to him, awkward, uncertain, but still and he entangled his fingers in her braid. "No, you stay here. Victor will watch out for you, I told him to guard the manor while I'm gone but you have to stay inside. Once I'm back..." Once this was over.... "Don't go," she muttered and he froze; her fingers clenched the front of his shirt, tight as she could but still so weak, "Please don't go. Don't go to him, don't give him what he wants; just stay here, please. I don't...want you to go, Oswald." Ivan didn't want him, Oswald thought though; he knew, she knew it. What the mad king wanted was not the jester who bit his legs and made him a fool but the songbird the jester stole, the princess with the quiet stare. And no, he had no intention of giving that to Ivan. Still his arms held her close and he did wish, a cowardly part, the part of him that was forever there and strong, to not go. To stay there with her. "I'll be back soon. You just listen to Victor and stay in your room; once I'm back we'll go to The End. We'll go see Tsuki and Tommy and Charlie and Jason and Alex and Roderich and everyone and you can sing for them and things will be...”

Better. He let go of her and before she could argue against his words, an argument he was not so sure right now he could win or would really want to deep down, he pushed her into her room. Locking the door he did his best to ignore her, to ignore her cries, to ignore her please. This had to be done and turned down the hall he noticed Victor approaching, the bald assassin looking at him with slight amusement. Oswald frowned, “Do not let her out of the room.”

“And don't let any of Ivan's peons near her room, right,” Victor recited by memory; as Oswald walked by him he spoke again, “I don't normally really care but I will say this I guess; be careful, boss.”

Oswald was stricken for a second by the concern, the sort of concern, then shaking his head he continued, calling back, “Tell the chefs to have dinner ready by four. I will be back shortly.”

Victor chuckled under his breath. He really didn't believe that, but if it made Oswald feel better, walking off to war as he was, to face down the big bad himself, then more power to him. It was finally time; could a flightless wobbling bird really take a mad king?

[mysteryshelf]

BLOG TOUR - Bones to Pick

  Welcome to

THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF!

DISCLAIMER: This content has been provided to THE PULP AND MYSTERY SHELF by Partners in Crime Book Tours. No compensation was received. This information required by the Federal Trade Commission.

Bones To Pick

by Linda Lovely

on Tour October 16 – December 16, 2017

Synopsis:

Living on a farm with four hundred goats and a cantankerous carnivore isn’t among vegan chef Brie Hooker’s list of lifetime ambitions. But she can’t walk away from her Aunt Eva, who needs help operating her dairy.

Once she calls her aunt’s goat farm home, grisly discoveries offer ample inducements for Brie to employ her entire vocabulary of cheese-and-meat curses. The troubles begin when the farm’s pot-bellied pig unearths the skull of Eva’s husband, who disappeared years back. The sheriff, kin to the deceased, sets out to pin the murder on Eva. He doesn’t reckon on Brie’s resolve to prove her aunt’s innocence. Death threats, ruinous pedicures, psychic shenanigans, and biker bar fisticuffs won’t stop Brie from unmasking the killer, even when romantic befuddlement throws her a curve.

Book Details:

Genre: Humorous Cozy Mystery Published by: Henery Press Publication Date: Oct. 24, 2017 Number of Pages: 266 ISBN: 9781635112597 Series: Brie Hooker Mystery, #1 Get Your Copy of Bones To Pick by Linda Lovely at: Amazon Barnes & Noble Goodreads

Read an excerpt:

ONE

Hello, I’m Brie, and I’m a vegan.

It sounds like I’m introducing myself at a Vegetarians Anonymous meeting. But, trust me, there aren’t enough vegetarians in Ardon County, South Carolina, to make a circle much less hold a meeting.

Give yourself ten points if you already know vegans are even pickier than vegetarians. We forgo meat, fish, eggs, and dairy. But we’re big on cashews, walnuts, and almonds. All nuts are good nuts. Appropriate with my family.

Family. That’s why I put my career as a vegan chef on hold to live and work in Ardon, a strong contender for the South’s carnivore-and- grease capital. My current job? I help tend four hundred goats, make verboten cheese, and gather eggs I’ll never poach. Most mornings when Aunt Eva rousts me before the roosters, I roll my eyes and mutter.

Still, I can’t complain. I had a choice. Sort of. Blame it on the pig—Tammy the Pig—for sticking her snout in our family business.

  I’d consorted with vegans and vegetarians for too long. I seriously underestimated how much cholesterol meat eaters could snarf down at a good old-fashioned wake. Actually, I wasn’t sure this wake was “old fashioned,” but it was exactly how Aunt Lilly would have planned her own send-off—if she’d had the chance. Ten days ago, the feisty sixty- two-year-old had a toddler’s curiosity and a twenty-year-old’s appetite for adventure. Her death was a total shock.

I glanced at Aunt Lilly’s epitaph hanging behind the picnic buffet. She’d penned it years back. Her twin, Aunt Eva, found it in Lilly’s desk and reprinted it in eighty-point type.

  “There once was a farmer named Lilly

Who never liked anything frilly,

She tended her goats,

Sowed a few wild oats,

And said grieving her death would be silly.”

  In a nod to Lilly’s spirit, Aunt Eva planned today’s wake complete with fiddling, hooch, goo-gogs of goat cheese, and the whole panoply of Southern fixins—mounds of country ham, fried chicken, barbecue, and mac-and-cheese awash in butter. Every veggie dish came dressed with bacon crumbles, drippings, or cream of mushroom soup.

Not a morsel fit for a vegan. Eva’s revenge. I’d made the mistake of saying I didn’t want to lose her, too, and hinted she’d live longer if she cut back on cholesterol. Not my smartest move. The name of her farm? Udderly Kidding Dairy. Cheese and eggs had been Eva’s meal ticket for decades.

My innocent observation launched a war. Whenever I opened the refrigerator, I’d find a new message. This morning a Post-it on my dish of blueberries advised: The choline in eggs may enhance brain development and memory—as a vegan you probably forgot.

Smoke from the barbeque pit permeated the air as I replenished another platter of shredded pork on the buffet. My mouth watered and I teetered on the verge of drooling. While I was a dedicated vegan, my olfactory senses were still programmed “Genus Carnivorous.” My stomach growled—loudly. Time to thwart its betrayal with the veggies and hummus dip I’d stashed in self-defense.

I’d just stuck a juicy carrot in my mouth when a large hand squeezed my shoulder.

“Brie, honey, you’ve been working nonstop,” Dad said. “Take a break. Mom’s on her way. We can play caterers. The food’s prepared. No risks associated with our cooking.”

I choked on my carrot and sputtered. “Good thing. Do you even remember the last time Mom turned on an oven?”

Dad smiled. “Can’t recall. Maybe when you were a baby? But, hey, we’re wizards at takeout and microwaves.”

His smile faltered. I caught him staring at Aunt Lilly’s epitaph. “Still can’t believe Lilly’s gone.” He attempted a smile. “Knowing her sense of humor, we’re lucky she didn’t open that epitaph with ‘There once was a lass from Nantucket.’”

I’d never seen Dad so sad. Lilly’s unexpected death stunned him to his core. He adored his older sisters.

Mom appeared at his side and wrapped an arm around his waist. She loved her sisters-in-law, too, though she complained my childless aunts spoiled me beyond repair.

Of course, Lilly’s passing hit Eva the hardest. A fresh boatload of tears threatened as I thought about the aunt left behind. I figured my tear reservoir had dried up after days of crying. Wrong. The tragedy—a texting teenager smashing head-on into Lilly’s car—provoked a week- long family weep-a-thon. It ended when Eva ordered us to cease and desist.

“This isn’t what Lilly would want,” she declared. “We’re gonna throw a wake. One big, honking party.”

Which explained the fifty-plus crowd of friends and neighbors milling about the farm, tapping their feet to fiddlin’, and consuming enough calories to sustain the populace of a small principality for a week.

I hugged Dad. “Thanks. I could use a break. I’ll find Eva. See how she’s doing.”

I spotted her near a flower garden filled with cheery jonquils. It looked like a spring painting. Unfortunately, the cold March wind that billowed Eva’s scarlet poncho argued the blooms were false advertising. The weatherman predicted the thermometer would struggle to reach the mid-forties today.

My aunt’s build was what I’d call sturdy, yet Eva seemed to sway in the gusty breeze as she chatted with Billy Jackson, the good ol’ boy farrier who shod her mule. Though my parents pretended otherwise, we all knew Billy slept under Eva’s crazy quilt at least two nights a week.

I nodded at the couple. Well, actually, the foursome. Brenda, the farm’s spoiled pet goat, and Kai, Udderly’s lead Border collie, were competing with Billy for my aunt’s attention.

“Mom and Dad are watching the buffet,” I said. “Thought I’d see if you need me to do anything. Are you expecting more folks?”

“No.” Eva reached down and tickled the tiny black goat’s shaggy head. “Imagine everyone who’s coming is here by now. They’ll start clearing out soon. Chow down and run. Can’t blame ’em. Especially the idiot women who thought they ought to wear dresses. That biting wind’s gotta be whistling up their drawers.”

Billy grinned as he looked Eva up and down. Her choice of wake attire—poncho, black pants, and work boots—surprised no one, and would have delighted Lilly.

“Do you even own a dress?” Billy laughed. “You’re one to talk.” Eva gave his baggy plaid suit and clip-on bowtie the stink eye. “I suppose you claim that gristle on your chin is needed to steady your fiddle.”

He kissed Eva’s cheek. “Yep, that’s it. Time to rejoin my fellow fiddlers, but first I have a hankering to take a turn at the Magic Moonshine tent.”

“You do that. Maybe the ’shine will improve your playing. It’ll definitely make you sound better to your listening audience. After enough of that corn liquor even my singing could win applause.”

A dark-haired stranger usurped Billy’s place, bending low to plant a kiss on the white curls that sprang from my aunt’s head like wood shavings. Wow.

They stacked handsome tall when they built him. Had to be at least six-four.

Even minus an introduction, I figured this tall glass of sweet tea had to be Paint, the legendary owner of Magic Moonshine. Sunlight glinted off hair the blue-black of expensive velvet. Deep dimples. Rakish smile.

I’d spent days sobbing, and my libido apparently was saying “enough”—time to rejoin the living. If this bad boy were any more alive, he’d be required to wear a “Danger High Voltage” sign. Of course, Aunt Lilly wouldn’t mind. She’d probably rent us a room.

I ventured a glance and found him smiling at me. My boots were suddenly fascinating. Never stare at shiny objects with the potential to hypnotize. I refused to fall under another playboy’s spell.

“How’s my best gal?” he asked, hugging Eva. “Best for this minute, right?” my aunt challenged. “I bet my niece will be your best gal before I finish the introductions.” Eva put a hand on my shoulder. “Paint, this young whippersnapper is Brie Hooker, my favorite niece. ’Course, she’s my only niece. Brie, it’s with great trepidation that I introduce you to David Paynter, better known as Paint, unrepentant moonshiner and heartbreaker.”

Eva subjected Paint to her pretend badass stare, a sure sign he was one of her favorite sparring partners. “Don’t you go messing with Brie, or I’ll bury you down yonder with Mark, once I nail his hide.”

Paint laughed, a deep, rumbling chuckle. He turned toward me and bowed like Rhett Butler reincarnated.

“Pleased to meet you, Brie. That puzzled look tells me you haven’t met Mark, the wily coyote that harasses Eva’s goats. She’s wasted at least six boxes of buckshot trying to scare him off. Me? I’ll gladly risk her shotgun to make your acquaintance. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Eva gave Paint a shove. “Well, if that’s the case, go on. Give Brie a shot of your peach moonshine. It’s pretty good.”

“Peach moonshine it is,” he said and took my arm. A second later, he tightened his grip and pulled me to the right. “Better watch your step. You almost messed up those pretty boots.”

He pointed at a fresh pile of fragrant poop, steaming in the brisk air inches from my suede boots. “Thanks,” I mumbled. Still holding my arm, he steered me over uneven ground to a clear path. “Eva says you’re staying with her. Hope you don’t have to leave for a while. Your aunt’s a fine lady, and it’s going to be mighty hard on her once this flock of well-wishers flies off.”

His baritone sent vibrations rippling through my body. My brain ordered me to ignore the tingling that remained in places it didn’t belong.

He smiled. “Eva and Lilly spoke about you so often I feel like we’re already friends. ’Course head-shaking accompanied some of their comments. They said you’d need to serve plenty of my moonshine if you ever opened a vegan B&B in Ardon County. Here abouts it’s considered unpatriotic to serve eats that haven’t been baptized in a vat of lard. Vegetables are optional; meat, mandatory.”

Uh, oh. I always gave relatives and friends a free pass on good- natured kidding. But a stranger? This man was poking fun at my profession, yet my hackles—smoothed by the hunk’s lopsided grin— managed only a faint bristle.

Back away. Pronto.

Discovering my ex-fiancé, Jack, was boffing not one, but two co-workers the entire two years we were engaged made me highly allergic to lady-killers. Paint was most definitely a member of that tribe.

“What can I say? I’m a rebel,” I replied. “It’s my life’s ambition to convince finger-lickin’, fried-chicken lovers that life without meat, butter, eggs, and cheese does not involve a descent into the nine circles of hell.”

Paint released me, then raised his hand to brush a wayward curl from my forehead. His flirting seemed to be congenital.

“If you’re as feisty as your aunt claims, why don’t you take me on as a challenge? I do eat tomatoes—fried green ones, anyway—and I’m open to sampling other members of the vegetable kingdom. So long as they don’t get between me and my meat. Anyway, welcome to the Carolina foothills. Time to pour some white lightning. It’s smoother than you might expect.”

And so are you. Too smooth for me.

That’s when we heard the screams.

TWO

Paint zoomed off like a Clemson running back, hurtling toward the screams—human, not goat. I managed to stay within a few yards of him, slipping and sliding as my suede boots unwittingly smooshed a doggie deposit. Udderly’s guardian dogs, five Great Pyrenees, were large enough to saddle, and their poop piles rivaled cow paddies.

I reached the barn, panting, with a stitch in my right side. I stopped to catch my breath. Hallelujah. I braced my palm against the weathered barn siding.

Ouch. Harpooned by a jagged splinter. Blood oozed from the sensitive pad below my right thumb. I stared at the inch-plus spear. Paint had kept running. He was no longer in sight.

The screams stopped. An accident? A heart attack? I hustled around the corner of the barn. A little girl sobbed in the cleared area behind Udderly’s retail sales cabin. I recognized Jenny, a rambunctious five-year-old from a nearby farm. Her mother knelt beside her, stroking her hair.

No child had produced the operatic screams we’d heard. Maybe Jenny’s mother was the screamer. But the farm wife didn’t seem the hysterical type. On prior visits to Udderly, I’d stopped at the roadside stand where she sold her family’s produce. Right now the woman’s face looked redder than one of her Early Girl tomatoes. Was the flush brought on by some danger—a goat butting her daughter, a snake slithering near the little girl?

I walked closer. Then I saw it. A skull poked through the red clay. Soil had tinted the bone an absurd pink.

I gasped. The sizeable cranium looked human. I spotted the grave digger, or should I say re-digger. Udderly’s newest addition, a Vietnamese potbellied pig named Tammy, hunkered in a nearby puddle. Tiny cloven hoof marks led to and from the excavation. Tell-tale red mud dappled her dainty twitching snout. The pig’s hundred-pound body quivered as her porcine gaze roved the audience she’d attracted.

A man squatted beside Tammy, speaking to the swine in soothing, almost musical tones. Pigs were dang smart and sensitive. Aunt Eva told me it was easy to hurt their feelings. The fellow stroking Tammy’s grimy head must’ve been convinced she was one sensitive swine.

“It’s okay,” he repeated. “The lady wasn’t screaming at you, Tammy.”

Tammy snorted, lowered her head, and squeezed her eyes shut. The pig-whisperer gave the swine a final scratch and stood, freeing gangly limbs from his pretzel-like crouch. Mud caked the cuffs and knees of his khaki pants. Didn’t seem to bother him one iota.

The mother shepherded her little girl away from the disturbing scene, and Paint knelt to examine the skeletal remains. “Looks like piggy uncovered more than she bargained for.” He glanced at Muddy Cuffs. “Andy, you’re a vet. Animal or human?”

“Human.” Andy didn’t hesitate. “But all that’s left is bone. Had to have been buried a good while. Yet Tammy’s rooting scratched only inches below the surface. If a settler dug this grave, it was mighty shallow.”

“Probably didn’t start that way.” I pointed to a depression that began uphill near the retail cabin. “This wash has deepened a lot since my aunts built their store and the excavation diverted water away from the cabin. The runoff’s been nibbling away at the ground.”

Mom, Dad, and Aunt Eva joined the group eyeballing the skull. Eva looked peaked, almost ill. I felt a slight panic at the shift in her normally jolly appearance. I thought of my aunts as forces of nature. Unflappable. Indestructible. I’d lost one, and the other suddenly looked fragile. Finding a corpse on her property the same day she bid her twin goodbye had hit her hard.

Dad cocked his head. “Could be a Cherokee burial site. Or maybe a previous farmer buried a loved one and the grave marker got lost. Homestead burials have always been legal in South Carolina. Still are.”

For once, the idea of finding a corpse in an unexpected location didn’t prompt a gleeful chuckle from my dad, Dr. Howard Hooker. Though he was a professor of horticulture at Clemson University by day, he was an aspiring murder mystery author by night. Every time we went for a car ride, Dad made a game of searching the landscape for spots “just perfect” for disposing of bodies. So far, a dense patch of kudzu in a deep ravine topped his picks. “Kudzu grows so fast any flesh peeking through would disappear in a day.”

Good thing Dad confined his commentary to family outings. We knew the corpses in question weren’t real.

Mom whipped out her smartphone. “I’ll call Judge Glenn. It’s Sunday, but he always answers his cell. He’ll know who to call. I’m assuming the Ardon County Sheriff’s Department.”

Dad nodded. “Probably, but I bet SLED—the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division—will take over. The locals don’t have forensic specialists.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “You spend way too much time with your Sisters in Crime.”

It amused Mom that Dad’s enthusiasm for his literary genre earned him the presidency of the Upstate South Carolina Chapter of Sisters in Crime.

Mom didn’t fool with fictional crime. Too busy with the real thing. As the City of Clemson’s attorney, she kept a bevy of lawyers, judges, and city and university cops on speed dial. However, Udderly Kidding wasn’t in the same county as Clemson so it sat outside her domain.

“Judge Glenn, this is Iris Hooker. I’m at the Udderly Kidding Dairy in Ardon. An animal here unearthed a skull. We think it’s human, but not recent. Should we call the sheriff?”

Mom nodded and made occasional I-get-it noises while she clamped the cell to her ear.

“Could you ask them to keep their arrival quiet? Better yet, could they wait until after four? About fifty folks are here for my sister-in- law’s wake. I don’t want to turn her farewell into a circus.”

A minute later, Mom murmured her thanks and pocketed her cell. “The judge agrees an old skull doesn’t warrant sirens or flashing lights. He’ll ask the Ardon County Sheriff, Robbie Jones, to come by after four. Since I’m an officer of the court, his honor just requested that I keep people and animals clear of the area until the sheriff arrives.”

Andy stood. “Paint, help me bring some hay bales from the barn. We can stack them to cordon off the area.”

“Good idea.” Paint stood, and the two men strode off. No needless chitchat. They appeared to be best buds.

I tugged Dad’s sleeve, nodded toward his sister, and whispered, “I think Aunt Eva should sit down. Let’s get her to one of the front porch rockers.”

Dad walked over and draped an arm around his sister’s shoulders. “Eva, let’s sit a while so folks can find you to pay their respects. This skeleton is old news. Not our worry.”

Eva’s lips trembled. “No, Brother. I feel it in my own bones. It’s that son-of-a-bitch Jed Watson come back to haunt me.”

THREE

Jed Watson? The man Eva married in college? The man who vanished a few years later?

Dad’s eyebrows shot up. “Eva, that’s nonsense. That dirtbag ran off forty years back. You’re letting your imagination run wild.”

Eva straightened. “Some crime novelist you are. You know darn well any skeleton unearthed on my property would have something to do with that nasty worm. Nobody wished that sorry excuse for a man dead more than me.”

“Calm down. Don’t spout off and give the sheriff some harebrained notion that pile of bones is Jed,” Dad said. “No profit in fueling gossip or dredging up ancient history. Authorities may have ruled Jed dead, but I always figured that no-good varmint was still alive five states over, most likely beating the stuffing out of some other poor woman.”

Wow. I knew Eva took her maiden name back after they declared her husband dead, but I’d never heard a speck of the unsavory backstory. Dad liked to tell family tales, including ones about long- dead scoundrels. Guess this history wasn’t ancient enough.

Curiosity made me eager to ask a whole passel of none-of-my- business questions, though I felt some justification about poking my nose here. I’d known Eva my entire life. So how come this was the first I’d heard of a mystery surrounding Jed’s disappearance? Was Dad truly worried the sheriff might suspect Eva?

I was dying to play twenty questions. Too bad it wasn’t the time or place.

I smiled at my aunt. “Why don’t I get some of Paint’s brew to settle our nerves? Eva, you like that apple pie flavor, right?”

“Yes, thanks, dear.”

“Good idea, Brie,” Dad added. “I’ll take a toot of Paint’s blackberry hooch. Eva’s not the only one who could use a belt. We’ll greet folks from those rockers. Better than standing like mannequins in a receiving line. And there’s a lot less risk of falling down if we get a little tipsy.”

Aunt Eva ignored Dad’s jest. She looked haunted, lost in memory. A very bad memory.

I hurried to the small tent where Magic Moonshine dispensed free libations. A buxom young lass smiled as she poured shine into miniature Mason jars lined up behind four flavor signs: Apple Pie, Blackberry, Peach, and White Lightnin’.

“What can I do you for, honey?” the busty server purred. I’m still an Iowa girl at heart, but, like my transplanted aunts and parents, I’ve learned not to take offense when strangers of both sexes and all ages call me honey, darlin’, and sweetie. My high school social studies teacher urged us to appreciate foreign customs and cultures. I may not be in Rome, but I’m definitely in Ardon County.

I smiled at Miss Sugarmouth. The top four buttons of her blouse were undone. The way her bosoms oozed over the top, I seriously doubted those buttons had ever met their respective buttonholes. No mystery why Paint hired her. Couldn’t blame him or her. Today’s male mourners would enjoy a dash of cleavage with their shine, and she’d rake in lots more tips.

“Sweetie, do you have a tray I can use to take drinks to the folks on the porch?”

The devil still made me add the “sweetie” when I addressed Miss Sugarmouth. She didn’t bat an eyelash. Probably too weighed down with mascara.

“Sure thing, honey.” I winced when the tray slid over the wood sliver firmly embedded in my palm. Suck it up. No time for minor surgery.

As I walked toward Eva’s cabin, crunching noises advertised some late arrivals ambling down the gravel road. On the porch, Dad and Eva had settled into a rhythm, shaking hands with friends and neighbors and accepting sympathy pats. Hard to hug someone in a rocker.

I handed miniature glass jars to Eva and Dad before offering drinks to the folks who’d already run the gauntlet of the sit-down receiving line. Then I tiptoed behind Dad’s rocker.

“I’ll see if Mom wants anything and check back later to see how you and Eva are doing.”

“Thanks, honey.” He kissed my cheek. I returned to Paint’s moonshine stand and picked up a second drink tray, gingerly hoisting it to avoid bumping my skewered palm. Balancing the drinks, I picked my way across the rutted ground to what I worried might be a crime scene.

Mom perched between Paint and Andy atop the double row of hay bales stacked to keep the grisly discovery out of sight. The five-foot-two height on Mom’s driver’s license was a stretch. At five-four, I had her by at least three, maybe four, inches. My mother’s build was tiny as well as short—a flat-chested size two. I couldn’t recall ever being able to squeeze into her doll-size clothes. My build came courtesy of the females on Dad’s side of the family. Compact but curvy. No possibility of going braless in polite society.

Mom’s delicate appearance often confounded the troublemakers she prosecuted for the city. Too often the accused took one look at Iris Hooker and figured they’d hire some hulking male lawyer to walk all over the little lady in court.

Big mistake. The bullies often reaped unexpected rewards—a costly mélange of jail time, fines, and community service.

Mom spotted my tray-wobbling approach. “Are these Paint’s concoctions?”

I nodded. “Well, Daughter, sip nice and slow. Someday I may file charges against Magic Moonshine. Paint’s shine is often an accomplice when Clemson tailgaters pull stunts that land them in front of a judge.”

Paint lifted his glass in a salute. “Can I help it if all our flavors go down easy?”

Mom turned back to me. “Have you met these, ahem, gentlemen?”

I suddenly felt shy as my gaze flicked between the two males. “I met Paint earlier. This is my first chance to say hi to Andy. I’m Brie Hooker. You must be the veterinarian Aunt Eva’s always talking about.”

Andy rose to his feet. “Andy Green. Pleased to meet you, ma’am. Your aunts were my very first customers when I opened my practice.”

He waved a hand at Tammy, the now demure pig, wallowing a goodly distance away. “I’m really sorry Tammy picked today to root up these bones. I feel partly to blame. Talked your aunts into adopting Miss Piggy. It aggravates me how folks can’t resist buying potbellied pigs as pets when they’re adorable babies, but have no qualms about abandoning them once they start to grow.”

Andy’s outstretched hand awaited my handshake. I held up my palm to display my injury. “Gotta take a rain check on a handshake. Unfortunately, I already shook hands with the barn.”

Andy gently turned up my palm. “I’ll fix you right up, if you don’t mind a vet doing surgery. Give me a minute to wash up and meet me at my truck. Can’t miss it. A double-cab GMC that kinda looks like aliens crash landed an aluminum spaceship in the truck bed. I’m parked by the milking barn.”

As Andy loped off toward the retail shop’s comfort station, Paint called after him. “Sneaky way to hold hands with a pretty lady.”

Andy glanced over his shoulder and grinned. “You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.”

Paint chuckled and focused his hundred-watt grin on me. “Bet my white lightning could disinfect that sliver. Sure you don’t want me to do the honors?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Somehow I doubt honor has anything to do with it.”

The moonshiner faked an injured look. Mom rolled her eyes. “Heaven help me—and you, Brie. Not sure you’re safe with the wildlife that frequents this farm. Forget those coyotes that worry Eva, I’m talking wolves.” She looked toward the porch. “How’s Eva holding up?”

“Better.” I wanted to grill Mom about Jed Watson, but I needed to do so in private. “Guess I should steel myself for surgery.” I took a Mason jar from the tray I’d set on a hay bale. “Down the hatch.” My healthy swallow blazed a burning trail from throat to belly. Before I could stop myself, I sputtered.

“Shut your mouth,” Paint said. Yowzer. My eyes watered, and my throat spasmed. I coughed. “What?”

“Shut your mouth. Oxygen fuels the burn. You need to take a swallow then close your mouth. None of this sipping stuff.”

“Now you tell me.” I choked. Mom laughed. “That’s the best strategy I’ve heard yet to shut Brie up.”

I wiped at the tears running down my cheeks. “Your moonshine packs more punch than my five-alarm Thai stir fry.”

Paint’s eyebrows rose. “My shine is smooth, once you get used to it. You want a little fire in your gut. Keeps life interesting.”

A little too interesting. I’d been at Udderly Kidding Dairy just over a week, and I already felt like a spinning top with a dangerous wobble.

***

Excerpt from Bones To Pick by Linda Lovely. Copyright © 2017 by Linda Lovely. Reproduced with permission from Linda Lovely. All rights reserved.

Author Bio:

Over the past five years, hundreds of mystery/thriller writers have met Linda Lovely at check-in for the annual Writers’ Police Academy, which she helps organize. Lovely finds writing pure fiction isn’t a huge stretch given the years she’s spent penning PR and ad copy. She writes a blend of mystery and humor, chuckling as she plots to “disappear” the types of characters who most annoy her. Quite satisfying plus there’s no need to pester relatives for bail. Her newest series offers good-natured salutes to both her vegan family doctor and her cheese-addicted kin. She served as president of her local Sisters in Crime chapter for five years and belongs to International Thriller Writers and Romance Writers of America.

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