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winterzsurprise · 2 days
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Change My Mind [4]
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Pairing: BTS x reader
SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.
Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.
Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor
Words: 7.1k
[1] [2] [3] [4]
nothing much to say this time but this is not beta read, my friend who was supposed to read it is unfortunately unavailable, idk if the argument makes sense in the end cause I personally run from confrontations so idk how to write good arguments so yeah.
This is a bit shorter than the previous chapters but the next one is longer again since-- GUNSHOT
ANYWAYS, Happy reading!!
Also I hope I got the taglist right, please if you don't want to be in it, do tell me. If anyone else wants to be added to the taglist, please comment down below.
TAGLIST: @wildestdreamsblog @canarystwin @prettywheenicry @jmnscutie @sassy-snassy @misuguru @11thenightwemet11 @yoongibaybee @rinkud
___________
In all of your years working for Bangtan, as one of their staff and the youngest stylist, you've been included in every life events and celebrations there is. Birthdays, first wins, comebacks, everything there is even something as important as family dinners. You've never skipped or forgot a single member's birthday, period.
But as Guwon stands before you, a plane ticket to Jeju in hand with the departure scheduled tomorrow and returning just a day short before the tour, you find yourself at a crossroad. It’s Jungkook's birthday tomorrow and Jimin has planned a small party tonight at their dorms before the formal celebration at the company the next day.
While you've been trying to rectify the awkward air between you and the maknae since his confession by starting conversations, the maknae only replied to you with silence before promptly vanishing in two seconds flat.
But despite the strain in your relationship, you could never think of not attending his birthday. You'd never thought to be petty enough to return his energy. His present was already wrapped in a pretty bow under your bed for a week now for Christ's sake!
“I-I can't… It's one of their birthday’s tomorrow.”
“Oh.” His smile falls. “Can't you just give your gift today? Surely they can party for one night without you.”
It was a genuine question, logical and true but for some reason, his tone raised concerns within you. You swear to the highest heavens you could hear a bit of irritation hidden beneath dejection.
You winced. “I can't, I'm really sorry… I-I can pay you back what you've spent for the trip. I'm really sorry, I just never missed any of their birthdays. I swear I'll make it up to you next time!”
Guwon's shine dulled the further you went on and your heart twinged with guilt. In another universe where some humans gained animalistic features, he'd have dog ears pressed to his skull, staring at you with wide and glistening eyes.
You waved off the image immediately, disturbed.
“It's also my fault for not asking for your schedule. The tour is next week and then you'd be away from me for months so I kind of… panicked. I'm sorry.”
He should've known better than not to do research on your bosses , a voice at the back of your head scoffed and you waved the thought away as you put a hand over his. 
“I should've notified you as well. Tell me if those are refundable or not, I'll pay you back.”
He waves you off. “Cute but I've been raised well to know not to ask a lady to pay for my mistake, so don't worry that pretty head of yours about not being able to go.”
The date continued and thankfully, no dead air remained and conversation eased out of the both of you. Guwon sorted out his reservations early on, he'd stopped eating every once in a while to pick up his phone to either receive a call or respond to an email.
With how often he answered the chimes of his phone and how long it took for him to finally put it down, you figured he must've prepared a lot for the week and it made you feel more guilty every time he did it.
Today, he brought you both to an indoor park he rented for an hour for a picnic. It was on the outskirts of Seoul and he also cooked most of the food placed between you both, his mother however, was responsible for the side dishes.
Speaking of mothers, yours called earlier to congratulate you on whatever it was she was adamant on keeping secret but you already knew what it was and you were glad Jungkook’s mother gave birth on such a perfect day almost 21 years ago.
Guwon was planning to propose to you during the trip.
It left a bitter taste in your tongue. Sure you had expected to be married to him at some point but you barely knew the man outside of his colorful stories, and knew none of his actual behavior in his home. You haven't even visited his house yet for a vibe check so why is he rushing too fast?
Despite the guilt in your heart, relief is more palpable knowing you'd have more time to figure out if you truly want Guwon in your life.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you took a glance at it.
[17:29] Jinnie: I'll pick you up at your apartment by 6.
[17:29] Jinnie: please be prepared😊
Seeing the t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ friendly smile attached at the end of his message, you're suddenly reminded of the present. You hadn't told any of them of your date today, something that had drawn out longer than you thought it would. You frowned, fingers drumming on the side of your phone as you pondered on what to reply.
You had promised to help with the food yet here you are, out of town and on a picnic date inside a garden observatory.
“Who is it?” Guwon asks, seeing the frown on your face. Your mind immediately picks up the odd tone he has.
“Their oldest, Jin. We're supposed to cook together before the rest comes home.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “I thought the birthday was tomorrow?”
“Oh, we're planning a small party before it, just his closest friends.”
Guwon nodded, eyes distant and thoughtful as he took a bite of his sandwich before continuing. “What time are you expected?”
“Their eldest said he'll pick me up at six.”
He looked at his watch and frowned deeper. “It's already 5:30. Maybe I can drive you to their dorm instead?”
You immediately shook your head. Remembering the promise you had with Jin and Jungkook. The maknae had recently begun to look at your direction again yesterday after Hoseok had talked to him, inviting Guwon would ruin the smallest progress you’ve had. 
Not to mention, you can't reveal their dorm location even if he is to be your husband. Company rules and you've signed an NDA.
“Company rules, can't reveal their location.”
“If we're going to be a couple soon, I'm going to need to know more about these guys you're hanging around. I don't trust them.” He says as he turns to the picnic basket to take another sandwich out, unable to see the twitch in your eye. 
“Well, you have to learn how to, they’re my bosses and my best friends.”
“I’m having a hard time believing that. I mean,” He scoffed. “Did you notice how they look at me whenever I’m around? That rapper—Yun–Yoonmi stared at me like I’m an insect he stepped on.”
Anger boils deep within your soul and you’re sure it's visibly contorting your face at this point but the man didn’t notice it and continued chewing on his food.
“Besides, their location is pretty well known already, no? Just a couple searches away, why be so secretive about it?”
You refrain yourself from frowning and it takes all of the energy within you to not react as wildly as you would’ve. It was amazing how the illusion of something good could shatter with only a few words and you set down the sandwich in your hand.
There's something terribly humbling upon realization that the man you're talking to is indeed, a man.
Noticing the shift in the air, he set down his cup of coffee with a slight raise to his brows.
“Why are you looking at me like that? It's true though, I just think it's pointless to try to hide it when some people already know, so what's the use of trying to hide their dorm?”
Where's Jimin and Taehyung at times like this?
You dreaded the conversation you're about to bring up to your mother once she calls, and could hear her scolding you for having such high standards. Guwon being indifferent to the possibility of being stalked, and your boys’ privacy being breached immediately raise red glaring flags over his head.
A lawyer himself who shrugged at the threat of crimes, the joke just writes itself.
“Don't look at me like that, I'm just… trying to understand why you didn't want me to interact with them after our second date. It makes a man overthink, know?”
Whatever thread you were holding onto, a sliver of hope that you might've misheard or misunderstood him, decayed within you and you picked up your phone to stuff into your bag.
You had hoped, wished, that after your deep talk on the night Seokjin had scolded your ass to the nines he'd understand your dynamic better with the boys or at least try. You could already hear Yoongi's drawl out ‘I told you so’ as you packed up, even imagine him bringing up Namjoon’s statistical analysis and how I should've listened to it.
“If you're implying what I think you are implying then I don't think we should meet each other anymore.”
Tossing the food back into the basket carelessly, you slung your bag over your shoulder and stand, only for his hand to shoot out to grab your wrist in an iron grip.
“Wait, I-I'm sorry! I just got… jealous, that's all.”
Even with the apologetic look displayed clearly on his face and the fear swimming with them, nothing could bring back to life the trust you had on the man and you pushed his hand away.
“I can't stay with someone who can't understand why those boys are important to me, sorry Guwon but we're over. Don't you ever contact me again.”
“You can't possibly be breaking up with me because I said what I felt? Over them? Really?!”
You don't even recognize the man sitting opposite you.
He knew, he saw how close you are with them and even sat through the stories you told him during your dates. Guwon knew you cherished every single boy in the group yet he disregarded it all because of jealousy? If that isn't a warning, then you might be blind.
“It's like I never even knew you at all.”
He scoffed. “Same with you. Can't believe I actually believed your words telling me you were friends but I saw how those boys treated you!”
Sure your relationship with your bosses is unusual but it was built from hardship and loneliness from being taken away from home and surrendering their time for a glimpse of fame in a field where they're at a huge disadvantage. It was special in ways not many could fathom because in their head, what reason would there be for a man to befriend a girl other than having the intention to fuck them?
It was the mindset of the old and “ wise” and it had infuriated you to the nines.
For him to reveal himself as one of those old cogs when he expressed himself as a gentleman and be convinced by his act of kindness, even the word disappointing could express how greatly upset you are.
“Bet you've slept with all of them at least once, hell, I don't even know why your mother bothered when you're already busy whoring yourself for seven men.”
Anger flooded your veins, it was hot and rampaging under your skin. Before your mind could even register your actions, your hand had already moved, making contact with his cheek in one swift motion. The slap echoed like a clap of thunder in the silence of the observatory.
Even after seeing the angry red mark beginning to mar his skin, your anger remained.
“Goodbye Guwon, I hope we never see each other again.”
Walking away was easier said than done.
You got picked up by Guwon earlier and since you've run far enough from the indoor garden, away from your supposed ticket back home, you're now waiting for an uber at a small library sequestered between towering and loudly designed buildings. You had half a mind to ask your friends that lived nearby for a ride but decided against it.
They might be busy with their own family. 
Unlike you.
As you sit there waiting for your ride to come, your mind takes you to your mother and her genuine glee at the thought of you getting married. Ever since your second date, she had been sending you photographs of weddings for inspirations, links to event places and tailors, and flower shops where you could have your bouquet arranged. She was beyond ecstatic, if she heard what had happened, she would be devastated. 
A loud, exasperated sigh left your lips, the volume catching the attention of the bookkeeper who was quick to shush you.
As you waited longer with only the deafening silence of the library to accompany you, doubt began to form at the back of your head. 
Was breaking up with Guwon really the right choice? 
An angry, louder voice screamed at you for doubling down on your decision. You knew your boys longer than you knew him, if the trip had gone through, Guwon would've proposed to you despite the short time you've known each other. Something you didn't want. Not to mention, he would've gone through the idea while contemplating on your loyalty.
So yes, it was the right decision!
But you were to be married .
Your mother was so happy to have finally matched you with a guy you attended three dates with. The thought made your heart clench, she was excited to see you on the altar and has most likely spread it around your town with pride. She was about to have three married children.
Gods, you don't want to imagine the conversation later on, she'd be distraught.
Your phone buzzed and you dreaded looking at the screen to see your mother's name. Luckily, it was Jin instead.
           [18:01] Jinnie: where are you?
           [18:01] Jinnie: knocked on your door but the neighbor said you were out.
           [18:02] Jinnie: you're late😒
           [18:02] Jinnie: I'm going to have them deduct your pay this month for making me wait
           [18:03] You: I'm sorry your highness for disappointing you, please forgive this servant of yours🤧
           [18:03] You: was on a date
           [18:03] You: not that it matters anymore, I broke up with Guwon
           [18:04] You: does it even count? I mean, we weren't official, he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend yet.
You paused, face souring as you realized what you've just typed. 
Guwon hadn't asked for your hand officially even after three dates, he had the chance on your second date during the stroll but he didn't. Despite this, he went and asked your parents for their blessings when he hadn't even asked you first.
           [18:04] You: wow I just remembered that
           [18:04] You: then he had the audacity to propose to me!
There's a pause in between his usually instant replies and you had an inkling he's already spreading the gossip around the group somehow.
           [18:08] Jinnie: wow there's a LOT to unpack there
           [18:08] Jinnie: but worry not
           [18:08] Jinnie: I'll have Jimin get us the strongest drink there is for later
           [18:09] Jinnie: we'll drink that sorrow away and you're going to tell me what the hell you meant by proposing while not being official 
           [18:10] You: I don't think I should tell you that…
           [18:10] You: considering… ya know
           [18:11] You: also don't you guys have an early schedule tomorrow?🤨
           [18:12] Jinnie: bold of u to assume I don't want hear how massive of a failure he is
           [18:12] Jinnie: nothing better than hearing your enemy’s downfall😌
           [18:13] Jinnie: also what do you mean ‘you guys’??? 
           [18:13] Jinnie: you're literally our make-up artist!
You scoffed at the message but before you could type up a reply, the notification from your uber app popped out to inform you about your driver now waiting outside the library and you walked out.
           [18:23] You: and just because I'm your make-up artist, doesn't mean I should let you all get away with this
           [18:23] You: and I won't even drink much :pp
           [18:24] Jinnie : if I ever see you stumbling around the house, you owe me 100000
           [18:25] You: WOW
           [18:25] You: AREN'T YOU RICH ALREADY????
           [18:25] Jinnie: money is money😌
           [18:26] Jinnie: just get ur ass over here already before I add more zeros to the bet
The smell of Jin’s cooking, both spicy and something savory, welcomed you first before the sound of sizzles did. At the sound of the door closing, Jin appears round the corner with an apron hung from his neck and a tong stained with red bean paste in the other.
Despite the disappointed look he's going for, reminiscent of a mother who caught her daughter coming home past curfew, the relief you feel upon seeing his handsome face after earlier was palpable and the knots in your stomach loosened.
“I should have your pay deducted for showing up late.”
You winced. “Sorry boss, can I appeal for a heartbreak discount on that?”
“Only if you give me a hug and cry on my shoulder.” 
He opened his arms wide, plush lips widening into a smile when you approached to wrap your arms around his torso. The fabric of his sweatshirt was soft and the scent of new laundry overtook his usual scent of freshly baked cakes and gentle vanilla perfume, it almost made you boneless in his hold. Moreso when he started stroking your head while the other ran up and down your back with his palm, fingers still wrapped around the tongs.
He didn't pull away despite the awkward position with him bending down and practically melting against your smaller form. In your years of being friends, you could never recall Seokjin being the first to pull away from a hug and once more, you're grateful for that.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“I’ll do it while cooking, we might burn whatever you're cooking if I told you all about it here.”
He shook his head, his rubbing motions on your back turning into gentle pats. “We can just order it online if it does, I even bet that they'll still eat it even if it was. Hoba was relentless today.”
His nails raked through your scalp and you resisted the urge to shiver. 
“He was being an ass towards you guys. Then when I defended you all, he accused me of sleeping around.”
His first instinct was to curse the man down to his ancestors who bred with each other until he was born, but stopped himself when he realized what he's about to say and cleared his throat.
If his arms coiled tighter around you, you only leaned into him further.
“Normally I would say "I told you so" but I know Yoongi has it covered later. So I'll just say—"
"Don't you dare. Jin don’t you dare finish that sentence."
"I knew it."
He let out a cry when your hand slapped his arm but it quickly dissolved into a fit of squeaky laughter and he pushed your head back under his chin before you could even continue hitting him. Hand continuing their petting as you let out an annoyed groan.
“My mom was so excited! God. I hate that bastard for disappointing me and her. She was sending me links to wedding planners and dressmakers because apparently he was supposed to take me to Jeju tomorrow and propose.”
He stills in your arms, the hand in your hair stopping its motion as his breath hitched in his chest. It took him a moment before he recollected himself and continued to pat your head, pressing a kiss on top of your crown.
“I'm sure auntie will understand, I know that she would've wanted you to find a good man like she and your sister did.”
A voice at the back of your head told you he was referring to himself but you threw the thought away as soon as it went.
“Personally, I would've taken the ticket and ditch him.” He laughed and you hit his arm with a barely concealed grin. “All I'm saying is that free things should be used and if it's gifted then better! You get to decide how to use it so refund it!”
“I don't think it's that easy.”
“Just say Kim Seokjin of BTS asked for a refund and they'll immediately accept it.”
Pulling away, you playfully rolled your eyes at him, earning you one last laugh as you walked to the kitchen where the sizzles of the food being fried on the pan had long been muted. Jin followed you with an onslaught of words spilling from his lips, justifying and detailing how he would've done in your place as you placed your bag down on the island counter before reaching for the spare apron.
Hearing his rants filling the silence made it easier to relax, made forgetting how upset you were at Guwon a walk in the park.
It was familiar and his voice, despite his fiery indignation, was oddly comforting.
Soon enough, your conversation halts and you both position yourself over the counter, following his orders mindlessly; which is mostly dicing the vegetables and the slabs of meat he marinated last night in soy sauce and spices. 
You found the repetitive motions of chopping soothing and silently thanked the man now hovering over the saucepan, gently stirring the seaweed soup. 
As if sensing your eyes boring holes on the back of his head, his ears reddened and he looked over his shoulder to meet your gaze.
“W-what is it? Wh-why are you looking at me like that?”
“Just admiring how huge your shoulders are and how reliable you are.” 
You recalled how dearly he cared for his group despite the exhaustion from practicing singing and dancing the whole day. Despite being the youngest in his family, Jin took on the mantle of the oldest brother in the group easily and selflessly provided for his members alongside Yoongi and Namjoon. If it were anybody, you were sure the boys would've been sick or had long given up, especially when the company was about to file bankruptcy in their earlier years.
From the bone shattering dances, exhausting practices and routines stretching from dawn till dusk, you were thankful Seokjin was there to catch the others when they fall.
It was a hard task nobody would've assumed since selfishness is a built-in trait of a human yet Seokjin proved you wrong when he stayed up every night despite the muscle cramps and exhaustion weighing his bones to cook for his members, taking the role of the eldest like it was a second nature despite being the youngest in his family.
He barked out a half-hearted laugh as his red ears brightened from the compliment. “I already know that of course!”
“Thank you for everything, Jin.”
His face crumpled when he laughed bashfully, the bright hue in his ears crawling to dusk his cheeks as well. It didn't take long before he recovered and like clockwork, in reaction to being flustered by compliments, he got defensive and raised the saucer threateningly at you.
“Ya! If you're planning to compliment me, at least be original! I'm done hearing about how wide my shoulders are from ARMY and how reliant I am from the others! We've been together for years, do better and be original with your compliments!”
It was a joke, obviously.
But staring at the older man childishly brandishing his cooking utensil like a bludgeoning weapon, you couldn't help but ponder about what truly pulled you into him only to realize that you've never truly dove deeper than surface level details. It was disappointing to find out how shallow you've been when expressing your appreciation for the man.
Like he said, you've always pointed out how reliable he is but never have you pointed out the small things such as the warm food he claimed have been extras and the hot soups sectioned off for you on cold days.
He was the first to approach you on the first day despite being the member who mostly kept to himself, asking you if you wanted to celebrate their Rookie of the Year win with them instead of the rowdy staff behind you. 
The first one to build a bridge leading to this deep companionship you had with the rest of the members, have you really never thanked him for that?
“You're so caring and humble despite your background and where you are right now. If it was anybody else, they would've left the boys to fend for themselves once they were able to yet you didn't stop cooking for them, for us. I don't think I have ever met a man so down to earth and as loving as you are,” You paused. “Well, except Jimin but if you want something more original I'd say I love your hands even when you think they're weird because they—”
You didn't even realize Jin crossed the distance between you both until his hands clasped around your lips, silencing you completely.
Unlike earlier with only his ears blushing, his cheeks now glowed red, the flushed skin spreading down to his neck, continuing past the collar of his dark blue pajamas. When your eyes meet, you find his glistening with unshed tears no doubt touched by your hastily put together declaration of your appreciation for him. 
When it was clear you wouldn't continue your rant, his arms fell to your shoulders and pulled you into a tight embrace. 
His violent heartbeats thudding against his chest was the first thing you've heard before you registered the stuttered exhales and his gentle saccharine scent filling your senses, clouding your brain completely. For a moment, it was just you and him in the kitchen, hugging a little longer than friends should be.
But then again, since when have you guys ever drawn the line on how platonic touches should last?
“God… You gotta stop doing that.”
“I'm just following what you told me like a good dongsaeng and I think I did exceedingly well on it. Does that guarantee a deduction on my pay deduction?”
There's an odd, invisible weight that lifted off of you, something you didn't even realize you were carrying. But there's also a tinge of guilt pinching the edges of your heart.
Jin was the first to approach you, and the first to confess four years ago. He was all shy looks and sweet smiles, his sweet words accompanied by a bouquet of flowers that must've cost him more than he could've gotten from being an idol of a new group. 
When Jin loves, he gives his all and doesn't think twice to give half of himself as well. In a way, he and Yoongi were alike, just with different approaches.
He was open and unapologetic while Yoongi was subtle and often silent.
His laugh twinkled in your ears but it dwindled later on, as if he remembered something towards the end of his mirth. “You're driving me crazy, how am I supposed to move on when you're this lovely?”
Hearing him confirm your suspicion about his crush—is it even called that at this point?—relieved you from an unknown anxiety most likely sparked by Jungkook's words a few nights ago. Why are you even relieved hearing him still liking you when all you've done is hurt him?
“You're such an idiot, you know that?”
“Love makes you do the stupidest thing but I don't think I've ever regretted ever falling for you.”
He pulls away, a gentler, softer smile now tugging his lips up.
“God, you made me sappy! My god, my soup!” 
Even without the warmth of his embrace, you could feel it radiate in the small space of the kitchen. You continued your work as Jin fuzzed about the seaweed soup behind you, bathing in the domesticity of it all.
Your phone vibrates loudly in your bag on the island counter. Wiping your hand on your apron, you opened it to see Jimin’s messages.
           [18:56] Mimi: seokjin hyung told me to buy the strongest alcohol 
           [18:57] Mimi: any idea why he’s being weird?
           [18:57] You: I’ll tell jin that you called him weird
           [18:57] You: but yes
           [18:57] You: I’ll tell you all later why
           [18:58] Mimi: 🤨
           [18:58] Mimi: not if I get you drunk in the first ten minutes
           [18:58] You: I’d like to see you try, pretty boy
Your phone vibrated again. Namjoon had texted you, seeing the preview you rolled your eyes.
            [18:59] Joonie: Seokjin hyung didn’t say but I already figured it out
            [18:59] Joonie: You'd hear enough from Yoongi hyung later but
[18:58] Joonie: I told you so
[18:58] You: I hope you trip and fall on shit🥰
[18:59] Joonie: Love you too, noona😁
[18:59] You: blocked🚫
“I'm not seeing enough chopping, young lady. Get back to your station!” Jin jokingly scolds. With a laugh, you return to your spot.
By the time some of the boys arrived—except Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, no doubt pre-gaming somewhere—it was already ten and some of the dishes were plated, ready to be eaten in the dining room. If it wasn't for both your and Jin's advanced thinking to ready the bowl of rice and their plates beforehand, they would have starved to death as Yoongi dramatically puts it before blaming Hoseok for draining them out the whole day.
The man in question just laughed in response before shrugging and rebuking their ‘accusations’, saying it wasn't even that hard. To this, Yoongi grumbled under his breath and Namjoon rolled his eyes.
A few minutes later, the maknaes entered, cheeks all flushed except for Jimin who was holding up a bag full of canned alcohol as if it was game from an all-day hunt.
You thanked Jimin silently for drinking the birthday boy tipsy enough to make the dinner energetic instead of the awkwardness you thought it'd be due to what happened a few days ago. There's fleeting eyes you've caught in between jokes he made, either pouring with adoration or longing, you tried to not to pay it much mind.
But of course, the alcohol pouring could only go for so long before you're all lounging in the living room to talk about anything that comes to mind. It was half an hour short from the clock tickling to twelve, signifying Jungkook's actual birthday.
The conversation started off tame with Taehyung questioning the animals who sleep standing to something more elaborate with Yoongi asking everyone's opinion about some decrypt conspiracy theory surrounding the rich of the west. It was all fun and games when Taehyung, lost in his own mind running with the most random thought, sluggishly pointed at you and asked:
“Wh-why aren't you checking your phone? G-Guwon hyung haven't been texting you yet?”
Many heads turned to you who was practically boneless in between a tipsy Hoseok and a still sober Yoongi. You didn't even need to look to know the look of concern Jin was throwing your way.
But everything was hazy, your head throbbing from the alcohol. The words slipped past your lips before you could think about it.
“We parted ways… He accused me of sleeping around when I said I didn't want to go on a trip with him tomorrow ‘cause I didn't want to skip Jungkookie's birthday.”
Hoseok patted your shoulder and Yoongi nodded, face indifferent as usual. Despite the reaction of the boys on both sides, not everyone in the circle held the same opinion it seems.
“You didn't have to decline it, noona. You-you’ve been with us for years, missing one wouldn't hurt me much.”
Jungkook's voice was softer as if he had sobered up from the revelation and you waved him away.
“What are you saying? I couldn't leave when we weren't alright.” You glimpsed at Jin before continuing. “Besides, he was planning to propose and I'm glad he couldn't anymore.”
In your drunken mind, the information didn't carry much weight but the pin drop silence following your words did, you guessed that it must've been. However, it didn't last long when Taehyung jumped up to his feet and punched the air as if Korea just scored the final score in FIFA.
The boys look at him with wide eyes, shocked by his reaction. Jimin recovers and tries to tug him down but a drunk Taehyung is determined, with a will stronger than a monk's resilience and patience, no one could stop him from doing what he wanted.
And that was bumping his glass on your forehead, a little harder than it should've been if he was sober and you reel back, a hand over your forehead.
“Noona! you're free again! Do you know what that means?!”
“Ok that's enough for you tonight. Let's get you to bed.” Jimin says, chuckling awkwardly as he stands behind his best friend, wrapping his arms around his waist before dragging him away.
“Why? Can't I just congratulate noona from recognizing something was off instead of ignoring it like most do? Noona,” He turned to you, bottom lip jutted out. “It's not bad that I'm celebrating right?”
Seokjin’s laugh was nervous when he rose to usher the man away as well. “Alright, lets all calm down so we don't accidentally say something while drunk.”
“Fuck yeah! I-I don’t even know why I even believed his lies, he’s a lawyer for fucks sake!”
“Not that it ever stopped you before. I still don't understand why you couldn't have married one of us instead.” Jungkook cuts in, suddenly irritated.
Somehow, the tension in the room grew tenfold and everyone sits up, alert and ready to interfere if their youngest decides to let the alcohol take control of him. Your brain clears once it registered the annoyance in his voice, heart dropping to the soles of your feet.
“Jungkook—”
“I just think it's a bullshit excuse and you know it. You told that to Jin-hyung four years ago and have repeated it ever since. We’re all adults now, we can handle a little rejection and who’s to say we can’t date when we’re the only idol running the company. You say it's because you don’t want to choose but aren’t you just instilling false hope in us?” 
He stood as he grew more agitated but Jin pushed him down, eyes stern as he stared down at their youngest. Seeing the conflict brew between them, the growing guilt built by years of spending time with them reawakened.
It tied your stomach in a knot and felt like a building had dropped onto your heart.
As if sensing your emotions, Yoongi’s hand found your shoulder to give it a squeeze.
“You’re not thinking straight so stop it,” Jin excuses as he turns to you with an apologetic smile. “He’s just drunk, he doesn’t—”
“I know what I’m saying and I think you’re being too biased here hyung!”
“Jungkook…” Hoseok calls from next to you, voice low, a warning.
“You too! She’s also your friend, why aren’t you pointing out how she’s just playing with us? Why are you only calling me out?”
“Because you’re being a stupid drunk right now, Jungkook. Stand down .” Yoongi ordered, voice firm and warning. His arms are crossed as he stared their youngest down but the maknae wasn’t intimidated by it, if anything, the fire in the older man’s eyes only fueled the anger boiling within him.
In years you’ve watched over them, never once has Yoongi scolded their youngest past Run BTS contents, leaving the reprimanding to their oldest and leader. For him to call him out and seeing them grow agitated by each other’s presence, dread loomed over you with your nightmares threatening to come true. 
This isn’t how tonight’s party was supposed to go.
“Isn’t there anyone who’d agree with me at how absurd all of this is?!” His head snapped at Namjoon who’s watching with a careful eye. “Hyung, surely you can also see it!”
Throughout the exchange, Namjoon had sat back and watched the interaction from the sidelines instead of interfering on the first hint of a fight breaking out. Even when the situation becomes a little aggressive, he stays silent but you don’t doubt that he’d be the first to stand if the disagreement becomes volatile and inching towards physical.
That's what he always has done, observed and let the high rise of emotions eventually tides down to a calm on their own. He's a leader, he's supposed to be fair and to do so, he must first understand both sides before taking action. He also trusts his own team to temper their own ire after years of being together.
But now that he's forced to join the argument, he sighed and stood. Seokjin stepped away as he approached their youngest with both hands placed on his shoulders to sit him back down. 
Obediently, Jungkook follows.
“While I do see where you’re coming from, I think it's a bit unfair that you’re blaming her for being scared.” Jungkook opens his mouth but a firm shake of Namjoon’s head shuts him up. “Don’t start again. There’s a power imbalance here kid. If her choosing someone could cause a problem, we’d get off scot free but not her. In the eyes of the company, she’s disposable—”
“But she’s not.”
“She is. In their eyes at least. By having her around causing problems for us, she’s nothing but a thorn in their side that they should remove. If she had dated one of us and eventually broke up, it would cause an awkwardness and riff between guys especially if it ended on a bad note and BigHit won't stand for it. You know how important this job is for her, right?”
They stared at each other for a long while, both unrelenting in silence. You all waited with bated breath, Namjoon was the only one who could diffuse the situation and if he fails, then who else could possibly calm the maknae down?
Turning to the clock, you bit your lip at the time.
It was nearing Jungkook's actual birthday, three minutes short before both hands ticked to twelve.
Which meant it would have to start during the denouement of an argument. The thought planting discomfort in your stomach. Such a happy celebration shouldn't be welcomed like this.
In the midst of raised voices and pointing fingers, Taehyung has completely sobered up from where he sat between Jimin’s thighs, staring beady eyed at the situation in his friend’s arms. Sensing your gaze, he turned to you with a sheepish, apologetic smile when Jungkook's heavy sigh broke through the silence.
His head fell to his chest as Namjoon removed his hands from his shoulders yet his eyes remained on their youngest’s hunched form.
“You get what we're trying to say now, do you?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Anything you want to say, gguk?” Namjoon was talking to him like he was a kindergarten teacher and you both were kids who fought on the sandbox for the shovel, warm and understanding but the disappointment in his tone is clear as day.
Jungkook doesn't reply but he shoots up to his feet, surprising Hoseok next to you, with eyes still trained on the floor.
When he did look up to meet your gaze, it was brief and cut off by a deep bow. You reached your hands out, trying to stop him from doing so but Yoongi took one of your hands and pinned them down between his and your thighs.
Jungkook never had to bow for you and it felt wrong seeing him bent down to apologize.
“I-I’m sorry noona, I—” He trails off.
In his speechlessness in a room full of people who—while understanding where he comes from—stood behind you, he clams up and then in a flash, he’s gone, bolting from the living room and skipping up the stairs. The sound of his heavy footfalls echoing like the clock ticking down to his birthday.
The argument has been dissolved, yet it left a bitter taste on your tongue, it made you feel queasy having everyone back you up without reprimanding you as well. It was true, what Jungkook said. 
Weren't you practically leading them on by not choosing anyone? No matter how unintentional it must be, if he thinks that way then maybe everyone else in the group does, just silently.
You turned to the clock again. A minute closer to the next day.
Frustration made you want to pull your hair out but the long, lithe fingers that have entangled with yours in the middle of it all, forbade you from doing so. As if he could hear the internal debate between logic and emotions, Yoongi gave you a comforting squeeze.
But it didn't feel right, you shouldn't be sitting on your ass while Jungkook blamed himself for expressing his own opinion, sure it was a bit aggressive but you understood his frustration.
“Jungkook!” You called out, rising to your feet to follow him when Yoongi tightened his hold on your wrist and shook his head.
“He needs time to process, leave him be.”
Yet despite this, you shrugged his hold off and followed the youngest’s heavy footfalls upstairs and presumably into his room. You caught onto him in the hallway, with the door to his room opened and half of his body already inside.
“Jungkook, let us talk.”
“I-I don't want to see you right now, noona please.”
The desperation to correct the wrongs gives you a short burst of energy and you catch his wrist.
“Jungkook please, I—”
You heard the joyful chime of the clock downstairs before you heard the sweet jingles of bells.
Then you felt it.
Electric jolts shoot up from your connected hands, waking every cell and your mind awake and you almost keel over from the wave of relieving warmth washing over your body. There’s now a low hum accompanying the bells chiming in the background, the soft harmony between them sending shivers down your spine. 
You've thought of first meetings like those scenes in Hollywood movies where a kaleidoscope of colors explodes behind your eyelids, like fireworks celebrating the precious moment where the protagonists finally meet and fireworks shoot up to the sky. They talked of a brief moment of reprieve from reality, the world slowing down and feeling the most calmed you've ever been with your soulmate in hand.
Like your soul finally recognizing its pair and suddenly, everyone became a blur in the background.
Yet when you stared back at Jungkook's mirrored astonishment, your stomach bottomed out.
Because no way in hell, after all this time, you're soulmates.
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vigilskeep · 1 day
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Did you read the ign article about which choices will matter in Veilguard? What are your thoughts?
i’ve come to the realisation i simply don’t care very much. personally
i’m not really a person who cares a lot about having endings tied up by the official writers. a few months ago the characters and plot points i already love might have been what i was hoping for, but right now what i’m excited to play is veilguard, itself, and i’d rather they spent their time and focus on the game they want to make and that i’ll get to play, rather than on throwing in details about cool stories that they promise are happening offscreen, and finding increasingly desperate excuses for why an alive HOF is somewhere else. and in a way i find the fact that they are outright deciding to treat the games as their own complete stories encouraging for the writing of veilguard itself, implying the consequences of your choices will be felt within the game and planned for, rather than vaguely promised for some future episode that is never coming, like they often have been
i understand why other people are upset and i think it’s completely reasonable that they are, i have zero interest in trying to convince anyone they should feel one way or the other, but i’m also not going to pretend i feel strongly any particular way about this when i don’t. i admit to being a little baffled about how they’re going to handle it, especially with the inquisitor being in the game. but i’m not attached enough to inquisition or any of my inquisitors for that to be something i feel strongly about. if anything on a personal level it wipes out a lot of my weird stress about inputting the “right” worldstate that often stops me actually enjoying the games
to be clear: would i have loved to think zevran would appear or at least be referenced? is it deeply fucking annoying that only a handful of (white) characters seem to get that VIP, always-returning status? sure of course! but i think i consider not being able to input my own specific worldstate details a separate issue and one that is not going to change whether veilguard is good or bad, for me
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Pls pls write anything for Astarion. Like maybe an imagine, idk. I would much prefer something fluff but literally anything else is fine.
I'm starved :(
Well baby I’m gonna feed you tonight. Can’t have my lovely followers starving now can i?
Astarion Ancunin
Nightmares
Summary: You comfort Astarion after you defeat Cazador (not ascended)
Themes: Hurt/Comfort, fluff, mentions of suicidal thoughts and abuse, gn! reader, no use of y/n, no specified pronouns, (shitty writing because this is my first time writing in 2 years)
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Astarion couldn’t sleep. Not that he didn’t want to, but he physically couldn’t. Every time he closed his eyes, phantoms of his past plagued the skin behind his eyelids.
He should feel better. Cazador was dead. The ritual was stopped and his kin were saved. So why did he still feel trapped?
He shifted in his bedroll a few times before letting out a frustrated sigh and sitting up. Running a hand down his face and glancing around the dark tent you shared. The only light being the remaining embers of the fire outside.
Experimentally, Astarion attempted to close his eyes in a futile last attempt to rid himself of the visions. Only to flinch and open them again upon seeing those agonised faces and mutilated bodies.
Sensing the sudden lack of presence beside you, you begin to stir awake and feel the bedroll beside you only to feel it empty. Feeling a jolt of panic, you open your eyes fully only to find your companion sat barely a foot away from you.
Astarion’s head turns as you join him in sitting up. “Sorry if I woke you.” He mutters and runs a hand through his hair. The frown on his face highlighting his fine lines and blemishes.
You shake your head and yawn as you come into a comfortable sitting position. “Don’t apologise…” You shift closer to him but stop once he flinches slightly. “What’s wrong?”
Worry laces your voice as you reach out to touch Astarion’s hand. His hand twitches as if wanting to pull away before he lets it close around your soft skin.
“It’s nothing, darling.” He forces out a chuckle. An obvious attempt to brush the subject off. You’d known him too long to fall for that. You let out a small sigh and move to sit as close to him as you could.
“Star… You can’t lie to me.” You smile sadly at him. “Tell me what’s bothering you. You can trust me.”
Astarion hesitates. Even after months of adventuring with you and getting used to your heroism and kindness, he still struggled with the fact that he could trust you. It’s not that he didn’t want to. He trusted you with his life. But it was still new to him.
“I spent 200 years not trusting anyone…” He speaks quietly. “200 years… suffering at the hands of that maniac.” He swallows as if trying to gulp down a lump in his throat.
“I’m supposed to feel free… happy. I’m finally able to live without the fear of being used as a pawn in some sick plan…” He squeezes your hand ever so slightly, trying to find comfort in the warmth of your skin.
“But I don’t, that bastard is dead and yet I still feel him looming over me. As if gloating that his death was quick.” His voice cracks a bit before he clears his throat. “Do you know how many times I wished for that? Preyed? A quick death to save me from him and my torture?”
His words made your heart break into uncountable pieces. Your eyes softening as you shift to hold his other hand with your free one. “Star…” You start only for him to cut you off.
“You killed him though… I know that…” He clears his throat again. “It’s silly for me to still worry about him. And the people he made me hurt.”
You shake your head and move to get a glance at his face. “Astarion, it’s not silly.” You speak softly, letting go of one of his hands to cup his face and turn his face to yours. “You’ve gone through so much. More than I can even begin to fathom. What you did was not your fault. You were coerced and manipulated by a man who was selfish and ruinous.”
His eyes finally move to meet yours, instantly softening once he sees the kindness in your gaze.
“You’re a different man to who you were under his power. A better man. Even if you don’t believe it. I’ve seen it.” You smile softly and run a thumb along his cheekbone. “It’ll take time to move on from this. This has been your life for centuries. Those habits will be hard to break, but I’ll be right there. By your side. Because I love you.”
Astarion smiles as his eyes gloss over with emotion at your words. “You mean that?”
You nod and press a soft kiss to his nose. “With my whole heart.”
He leans into your touch. Moving closer until he’s able to press soft kisses to your lips. “I love you too.” He whispers against your lips before pulling away and lieing back down on his bedroll.
Your smile widens and you lay down with him. Your head resting on his arm and your body pressed against his in a comfortable silence. No other words needing to be said to explain the bond the both of you share.
Your eyes get heavy again quite quickly as your breathing steadies drifting into a state of rest. Astarion glances down at your sleeping face with a soft smile and moves some of your hair to give you a kiss on the forehead.
He takes a deep breath, readying himself to tackle his demons again. However, for the first time in days, closing his eyes didn’t bring visions of victims and abusers.
But visions of you.
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sqsupernova · 2 days
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Title: Strung Tight [art] Link: Click Here To View and Comment NOTE! Art at link is uncensored and very NSFW! Artist: jajs Find them on: -Twitter: -Tumblr: jajs
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Title: Swan on a Wire Link: Click Here To View and Comment Author: cheshire6845 Find them on: -Twitter: 6845cheshire -Tumblr: Rating: Mature Warning(s): No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 27k Summary: A Colombian drug lord is released from prison after serving 12 years of his sentence. The only thing on his mind is finding the woman that testified against him. Successful attorney Regina Mills buried her two best friends, Emma and Lily, when she was only twenty-one. Fifteen years later, she is shocked to find Emma alive and working at a gas station in New Jersey. They're reunited, but Regina isn't the only one that finds Emma and now they're on the run, trying to stay alive as the drug runners and corrupt law enforcement try to silence Emma forever. Inspired by the story-line of the 1990 movie - Bird on a Wire.
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Remember - writers and artists spent months creating the fics and art you enjoy, so it would mean the world to them if you commented to tell them what you liked! A creator who feels appreciated is a creator who is more likely to write or create art again in the future!
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luvstarkeyy · 3 days
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MY FIRST SHIFT — or mini shift, whatever.
I don’t really like to call it mini shift cause I believe that no matter how long you spent on your dr, you shifted, it was a shift, you shifted your perspective, your consciousness.
I wanted to share this cause shifting is something so simple and natural that you can shift even if you don’t have intention to shift in the momment or don’t believe in it 100%, cause that was my case.
This happened to me a couple of months ago, I don’t remember the month exactly rn, but I remember that I came home this day and I was super tired, so I went to take a nap in the afternoon.
At the time, I was trying to shift to a specific reality, and all I could think about was that reality. Like, every time i was doing something I’d think: “this will help me to shift” or “I’m on my dr right now”, any kind of these affirmations, so that probably helped too.
So, when I took the nap, i had a lucid dream, and my first thought was to shift. I remember that I was dreaming of being in an elevator when I got conscious of the dream and I thought like “when these doors open, I’ll be on my dr”. And then the doors opened and all I could see was white, like a flash right on my face.
Then this flash faded and i was on my dr house. I didn’t opened my eyes but I knew that I was there, I just knew. I knew that I was laying on a pool lounger right next to my pool. I didn’t opened my eyes but the image of the pool came to my mind, and I didn’t made that up, I didn’t imagined, was my memory from that reality.
Idk how to explain but, imagine when you’re in your bed, and you close your eyes. Even with your eyes closed, you still know where you are, right? You know where all the things in your bedroom are. You know the surroundings.
It was exactly like that. I didn’t opened my eyes, but I knew the surroundings. I knew i was on my yard by the pool and i even listened to my dogs there.
But that was the first time that I ever got so close to shift, like, I actually shifted, so I got a little bit too much excited and nervous and I was like “I gotta tell someone wtf just happened omg”. And then I came back to my cr.
And that was it. I was just going to rest and then boom, i had a lucid dream and shifted. I got very close to shift again last week, I still don’t know if i shifted last week or was just a crazy dream, I think I’m gonna write about it too later so I can see someone else’s opinion.
Anyway, I hope you guys understand this cause english is not my first language so it’s very difficult to translate exactly what happened, and my writing might be bad because of that. :P
If you have a first shift experience too please share in the comments ;)
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justlightlysedated · 4 months
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Another kiss!!!
35
- Edwin/cat king again lmao (I love mess)
35…to gain something
"I can think of one person who would have the information that you need, but you're not going to like it."
Both Edwin and Charles turn to Crystal curiously, to see her pointing at Charles, even though usually her plans are things that Edwin won't like.
He turns to look at Charles, who turns to look at him at the same time. They both shrug and turn back to Crystal.
Edwin raises an eyebrow in question, and Charles tilts his head to one side.
Crystal makes a face at them both, "Well, there is one person who is a couple hundred years old, who may know what kind of shit this witch is involved with since he was able to help with Esther."
"Ah," Edwin says, realizing who she meant at the same time that Charles scoffs.
"You're really not saying that we ask the Cat King for help, are you?" he says, and then turns to Edwin, who hasn't said anything, because Crystal isn't wrong.
They need information, and the Cat King would be their best bet.
"You are not seriously considering this after he trapped you in his 'kingdom' and tried to-"
"Charles," Edwin says, turning to face him. "While I understand where you are coming from, I've already told you that we ended things on good terms, and I'm not upset about what he did anymore."
He lifts an eyebrow pointedly, asking why Charles is still so upset about it.
Charles grumbles under his breath, but doesn't exactly say anything, so Edwin turns back to Crystal, who is looking at Charles with a pointed expression that she turns on Edwin, who just raises an eyebrow in response.
"Well, it seems like we know what to do next," he says, and tugs against the sleeves of his shirt, clearing his throat. "Maybe I should-"
"No," both Charles and Crystal say at the same time.
Edwin raises both of his eyebrows at them both.
"We're on a time crunch, god only knows what he'd ask you for if you're on your own," Crystal says, crossing her arms and smirking.
At the same time Charles steps closer and says, "There's no way you're going to meet him on your own after what happened last time."
Edwin's eyes dart all over Charles' face, and he softens at the obvious worry marring his features.
"Fine," Edwin says. "But this time, actually let me do all the talking."
Both Crystal and Charles turn and look at each other momentarily, before turning back to Edwin. Edwin sighs at the look on both of their faces, but ignores them both to walk over to the mirror.
Might as well get this over with.
Edwin presses his hand to the mirror and barely has to concentrate before he's sure he's got the right destination.
It's not like this will be the first time that he's used this mirror to travel back to Port Townsend.
Charles grabs on to Edwin's hand as he goes to walk through, and Edwin doesn't really question the move, just tightens his hold on Charles' hand as Charles grabs on to Crystal's hand, who snorts like she finds this whole thing ridiculous. Edwin ignores them both as he walks through.
They walk out right inside of the warehouse, cats yowling and cursing out of their way.
Edwin looks to Charles and Crystal to make sure that they are both out before he lets go of Charles' hand. Charles looks around, frowning, probably because there wasn't a mirror leaning against the wall the last time they'd been here.
He gives Edwin a look that Edwin ignores as he makes his way through the cats and towards the throne, still ostentatiously on top of a pile of crates and towering over the rest of the room. Edwin walks right up to the crates that serve as steps up to the throne, and waits for the cat licking it's paw right on the bottom step to nod its head before he walks up two steps and looks at Thomas, inclining his head a little, which is as close to bowing as he's willing to get.
Thomas grins, wide and pleased. He's lounging on his throne sideways, one leg hooked on the arm, and seems to have not put on a shirt, which Edwin knows is only for his benefit. He tries not to look as flustered as he feels.
"Seeing as you brought the old ball and chain and his side piece, I'm assuming this is for business not pleasure?"
"Quite right," Edwin replies, ignoring Charles and Crystal sputtering in protest behind him. "We're searching for any information that you can give us on how to break a spell a witch has on a fire breathing entity."
"Ah," he says, and then gets to his feet in one swift movement.
Edwin's eyes drop down his chest, and he looks away hurriedly.
"Well then, I certainly do have a little book around here somewhere that should be very helpful, but it'll cost ya."
He leans in meaningfully and raises his eyebrows pointedly, eyes darting down to Edwin's lips.
He looks both mischievous and desperate, and Edwin straightens up at the implication.
Charles says something, but Edwin isn't paying attention.
"Fine," Edwin replies. "I'll do one thing to make you happy, and you give me the book. No binding spells, and certainly no talk of punishments."
Both Charles and Crystal are suspiciously silent behind him, and he would love to turn and check on them, but Thomas takes another step closer, smiling too wide and pleased, like the cat that caught the canary.
"Should we take this somewhere private?" he asks, lifting his eyebrows.
"No," Edwin says, and both Charles and Crystal echo him. He's not planning on doing anything too salacious. And taking a trip to the Cat King's lair is not in the cards, given the time crunch they are under. "Here is fine."
Before anyone can say or do anything else, Edwin takes the last step up which leads him right into Thomas' personal space, which takes him aback.
Edwin smiles, and fists the open collar of his coat and pulls him in.
Edwin doesn't have any experience in kissing, but after Monty, he'd done the research. Niko had helped him, and while everything you read didn't translate well enough into practical application, he was sure that his inexperience won't actually matter.
He's sure that that is part of the appeal for Thomas, but he does like having the upperhand every now and again.
So Edwin kisses him, with his limited experience and vast knowledge, lips pressed together chastely, once, twice, three times, before dragging his tongue across his mouth, which he hadn't expected to have any reaction given the way that Thomas was practically pliant and unmoving in his hands, as though Edwin shocked him into stillness.
But Thomas moves then, placing his hands at the back of Edwin's head as he tilts his head and opens his mouth to Edwin's. And this time when Edwin licks into his mouth the kiss changes, and he makes a low sound, understanding now why tongues are so involved in the graphic novels that Niko insists he read.
Edwin isn't sure how long they kiss, because he doesn't need to breathe, but it's enough for him to see exactly what Charles meant by a kiss not being felt on the lips but in the head.
He pulls away once he's aware that a lot of time has passed, and Thomas looks dazed, eyes lidded, cheeks flushed, lips parted.
Edwin curbs the instinct to push in and kiss him again, by pushing him away. Thomas stumbles a few steps before he drops to sit back on his throne.
Edwin swallows and resists the urge to tug against his clothes like they're too tight.
"Was that satisfactory?"
Thomas laughs, a bubbly thing that seems involuntarily, but he's grinning more happy and satisfied than before.
"For now, yeah," he answers, lazily and out of breath.
He waves a hand in the air, and a book materializes in Edwin's hands.
"Thank you," Edwin says, gratefully, turning the book in his hands.
"No, thank you," Thomas replies, almost purring.
Edwin turns around before he decides that the kiss wasn't enough and stops short one foot on the steps leading down.
Crystal and Charles are just staring at him in silence. Crystal with a wide and delighted grin, while Charles frowned, loudly.
"What?" Edwin asks, lifting one hand to his hair and then putting it back down.
Charles scoffs, and turns around, stalking back towards the mirror. Crystal follows after him, bouncing and sending Edwin a thumbs up as she goes.
Edwin looks back to Thomas to see if he understood what just happened any better than he did, but Thomas just grins lazily, and blows him a kiss.
Edwin turns around quickly and almost stumbles down the last two steps in his hurry to follow after his friends.
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wonder-worker · 6 months
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I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
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theangrypomeranian · 4 months
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I just want my passion back man idk why that's so much to ask for
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capricores · 10 months
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i love being friends with earth sign placements (sun/moon/asc/venus) so much. you will not find better friends. the way they're so caring, attentive, nurturing, kind-hearted?! the fact that they initiate and plan things for and with you?! the way they listen so well and give amazing yet gentle advice?! the way they remember all the little things about you and your interests and give the most thoughtful gifts and remind you in small ways that they remember everything about you?! i hope every earth sign placement is having a great day and knows just how positively impactful they are in their friend's lives!!!!!! we love you!!!!
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campbyler · 4 months
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the ppl that complain abt updates are actually so bewildering to me bc im literally 2k words into my fic and it has taken SO LONG 😞 not to mention the fact that no matter how long i wait for your updates, i truly never get bored because i js come on your tumblr everyday to see what you guys have been posting on here and it 100% makes up for the long awaited updates (not that you have anything to make up for anyway) you guys are truly SO incredible for what you do bc i could NEVER 😭 i literally talked to my friend abt ur fic and how the waits are usually long (wasn’t complaining abt it) and she was like “oh my god i could never wait that long for a fic” and i immediately came to your defense and was like “yeah but it’s okay bc the long ass chapters always make up for it and the fact that they post on tumblr almost daily”
prefacing my accidental ramble by saying that if we ever seem disproportionately annoyed at something someone said then it’s definitely because it is not disproportionate to Us!! little comments and things like that add up over time, so it’s rarely about just that one thing someone says and absolutely more of an overarching pattern that gets tiring really fast. and not to dredge everything back up again bc it’s rare that we get someone being super weird and rude outright about longer or delayed update times but we get soooo so many asks or comments etc like the one thea answered earlier which just include little remarks that come off as just passive aggressive and just kind of kill the vibe of getting a really nice message?? very much like “oh i miss when we only had to wait a couple weeks for updates but your fic is so good!” or “this was so good but don’t know how im going to wait months for the next chapter :(“ and just stuff like that which gets pretty frustrating over time, especially when they’re coming from people who blew through a 30k update in like 45 minutes lol. we see so much of this over on twt especially, maybe because we’re not as active there and people are not saying it To Us so they think we don’t see it but there’s also a lot of likeeeeee “i want to start acswy but im Traumatized by authors abandoning their fics so im just waiting until they’re done” or “i want to catch up but the update intervals are so long😭” and that sort of thing which is also just kind of frustrating to see come up over and over again, esp bc sometimes people have actually said that to us? like in our inbox??? for some entirely unknown reason??? like why are you telling us on this blog that you don’t want to read our fic until it’s done. good luck getting through 500k in one sitting then idk what to tell you 🤷🏽‍♀️
anyways all that to say thank you so much for your message of support it’s very much appreciated! sometimes the demands (even if they’re said as a joke) and little side comments that are slipped into really nice messages can def make us feel like our readers see as us people who are putting out a product and not people who are just trying to share a passion project with our little corner of the internet, but we also know that most of you are not like that and especially the people who regularly interact w this blog and send in asks and comments are so lovely! thank you for coming to our defense 🫡
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hcnnibal · 1 month
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you put so much effort into ur comic. i cant help but sit and look at each panel individually for atleast a minute before i move one. quality on point
thank u 😭🙏
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onefey · 1 year
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happy pride month!! i wanted to make something pride-related for drawn to life, but whenever i try to explain my headcanons it always comes out sounding very.. clinical. so i disguised it as a worldbuilding exercise!
trans rights! 🦊
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bloo-the-dragon · 10 months
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tiny jesters upon ye.
inspired by discord conversations with @thedemonsurfer and @outsmartingbasilisk here's my contribution to the tiny robots sams au!
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frecklystars · 22 days
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I might actually open my inbox for the first time in [undetermined specific amount of months] there’s over 500 unread asks in there ;-; I’m rly touched so many people have been reaching out to me even when I haven’t been here
#I was thinking today how it always used to help me when I’d ask for F/O reassurance and I’d get a flood of nice asks#an anon told me Luke would carry his butterfly knife on him to make me feel safe. and I never forgot that#that sticks with me dude I think about that EVERY TIME I see Luke#it makes me feel so safe with him in a way that I felt incapable of feeling safe with him before#another anon said Colt’s lovestruck expression towards Jody is how he’d look at me. and it helps me feel better 🥺😭#and I think about my signature anons and all of my friends and just generally really nice bloggers who follow and send support#and I miss that. receiving nice asks genuinely always helped me feel so much calmer during the storm#or turtle anon and clover anon going into depth about how Ken is built for love and not violence. and all the stuff they said based on that#it helps! everything people say to me helps me feel so much better with my F/Os#fic anon my beloved guardian angel in my inbox literally writing whole entire stories for me#<- btw fic anon if you’re reading this. I didn’t forget about my promise! I’m gonna doodle you something special#idk if you’ve sent anything recently I haven’t opened my inbox in a few months#but yeah anyone out there who’s ever sent me a nice ask. thank you so much#it helps me hold on a little longer if I think about all the nice things ppl say to me#orange heart anon and maple leaf anon my beloveds#sunflower anon the literal ray of sunshine that you are#anyone who’s ever left me nice messages I always remember and look back on them#esp because I spent SO LONG trapped with someone who would tell me how my F/Os would find enjoyment in hurting me solely bc they love me#and I learned that I’m only loved thru violence. and it’s so. hard. to try to unlearn that#but reading people telling me otherwise helps me a lot. and I need to get back into that#woof
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thevioletcaptain · 1 month
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i'm supposed to be sleeping (went to bed like an hour ago) but i spent a decent chunk of today working on chapters 5 & 6 of as a friend and now my brain refuses to shut the hell up about it. which means that instead of being unconscious i've just spent 20 minutes rewriting the [first morning back at the bunker after everyone knows] scene on my phone, and i genuinely hope that it is actually as funny as it currently seems to my half-asleep brain.
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floralcrematorium · 4 months
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here are some breadcrumbs about my band AU while I work on some character sheets for the main trio -- we'll be seeing miss Seychelles first
• Alfred is lead singer + guitar, Matthew is bass, and Michèle is backing vocals (though sometimes she does get duets... LET HER SING!) and drums
• Michèle can also play piano -- she grew up taking piano lessons and got into drums when Alfred began showing her and Matthew his dad's record collection
• The band get discovered by their... agent by pure luck when they're messing around in a music shop in a big city
• Alfred and Matthew are half brothers. Alfred's father is the one who got him into music, his guitar was his father's
• Michèle and Matthew grew up next door neighbors. They speak in French to one another when Alfred's pissing them off (which is often)
• Alfred is ~23 at the beginning of the AU while Michèle and Matthew are both 20. Due to the events which lead Alfred to move back in with his mother and the half-brother he didn't know all too well, Alfred was held back a year. Alfred had mini-van in high school and for the two years he could drive before graduating, he was Matthew and Michèle's ride everywhere. Instead of gas money, they paid him with cans of Arizona iced tea
• Michèle's sense of fashion is/will be heavily inspired by Edith Victoria's from Meet Me @ The Altar and a mix of the flowy loose garments she wears in canon
• Matthew's sense of style is giving dad-core. Very much leaning into the outfits Patrick Stump wore on Fall Out Boy's recent tour
• This band is Alfred's baby. His drive to make it in the industry tests the group's bond... He is a moth testing fate as he desperately flies towards the spotlight
• Michèle and Alfred work together on melody but all three of the bandmates work on lyrics together
• Matthew is the least musically experienced
• the woes of Fall Out Boy's fourth studio album, Folie à Deux, are thematically important down the line...
• Adventures await them in Europe... A contest (not the Annual Song Contest™, a made up one so I have excuses to pull in other Hetalia characters), love, friendship, rivalry, and found family
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