#and then she's like. i don't wanna do anything super stupid though. and drinking alone is super stupid when you've never drank before

[synonymroll648]

from a vibes perspective, i totally understand why so many people look at keefe and go ‘this guy would be the male equivalent of a wine aunt when he’s older’. 

but. but. 

taking lore into consideration, in my heart, he’s terrified of alcohol (even if he tries really hard to hide it). because. like. his first exposure is almost guaranteed to be through cassius, and cassius canonically threw a glass extremely close to him at least once when he was, like, 8. maybe cassius wasn’t always extra nasty when he was drunk, but there’s gotta be a correlation in keefe’s brain between risking getting seriously hurt (emotionally or physically) and alcohol consumption that’s really hard for him to shake. 

[appocalipse]

heyy if ur taking requests could u maybe do like bestfriends steve + reader where steve, eddie, nancy and robin have to pick up reader from a party and she’s like REAL drunk and just idk super clingy w steve and doesn’t wanna not be touching him. maybe eddie, nancy and robin all make fun of him for it but they acc find it rly cute.

thank you for your request! ♥♥♥ | 2.2k words

"Stevie!"

You collide into him suddenly, nearly knocking him back a step or two with the force of your momentum; there's a smile on Steve's face when you look up at him through eyes that are more than a little hazy with inebriation. You're drunk. Probably way past drunk, if the way the world won't seem to hold still is anything to go by, but you don't care. There are other things vying for your attention—like how warm he feels against you, how safe he makes you feel, how pretty he looks from up close...

"Whoa," Steve says as you lean even further into him and loop your arms around his waist in a tight hug. "How much did you have to drink, exactly?"

He doesn't mean it in a mean way, which is why you grin up at him from where you've got your cheek pressed firmly to his chest. You can feel his heart beating under the palm of your hand now, a steady and calming rhythm that soothes something inside of you.

"Dunno," you reply, grinning stupidly when you catch sight of maybe three copies of Eddie Munson standing off to Steve's left; all of them have identical amused looks on their faces. "Might've had, like, a couple..."

Steve sighs deeply, though there's no exasperation or disappointment to be found in his expression when he tilts your face upwards to look you over properly. You just beam dopily at him, because he's so pretty right now you don't know what else to do.

"Dude," Eddie speaks up, drawing Steve's gaze away from you while your own attention goes back to pressing yourself even more snugly into him, "she is totally sloshed."

You frown, shaking your head in fervent disagreement.

"Am not!"

"Sure you aren't, sweetheart," Eddie agrees placidly, but you get the impression he doesn't really mean it.

Before you can point this out, however, the blurry shape of Robin Buckley steps forward. The room is dark with flashing strobe lights and smoky with incense and cigarette smoke, but you'd recognize her voice anywhere.

"Who let you drink this much?" Robin asks as she lifts a hand up to brush some hair back from your forehead.

It's oddly soothing and so you lean into the contact with a happy hum. Robin and the others laugh — but then again, it sounds kinder than mean, the kind of laugh that bubbles up when you find something unexpectedly endearing, and so you don't mind as much as you maybe should.

"Nobody," you mumble as you press your face into the side of Steve's neck and take a deep breath in; his scent is the same as always, earthy and warm with an underlying hint of that stupid spray he likes to use sometimes. "I'm here alone. 'Cause Steve here blew me off for you guys, but that's okay," you say, even though, to be fair, it sort of isn't true — he didn't blow you off.

"Hey," Steve starts, sounding half-indignant and half-apologetic all at once. He's got an arm around your shoulder now, supporting you and keeping you upright, which makes you want to tangle yourself up in him completely. "You didn't tell me you wanted me to come hang out with you tonight!"

You sigh mournfully against his skin, feeling wistful all of a sudden. It's true. You hadn't told him. That was partially due to the fact that you had been trying to prove to yourself that you weren't so desperately and helplessly infatuated with him that you needed his presence constantly, but that plan had obviously backfired on you spectacularly.

"No," you mutter unhappily as Steve moves the two of you towards a nearby couch. "But I missed you. Don't wanna miss you."

Nancy, Robin, and Eddie, who are watching the two of you with expressions of varying degrees of amusement, exchange looks. Steve pretends not to notice, probably because he knows he won't like what they have to say if he hears it, and instead guides you down onto the cushions next to him. "You're drunk."

"You're pretty," you reply without hesitation, even though you're very clearly changing the subject. "It's unfair, y'know?"

You hear Robin snort, followed by a quiet thud like someone's just been slapped on the arm, and you know it's her who laughed, and that it must have been Nancy who'd shut her up. You don't know where Eddie is; you're not even sure when he wandered off, to be honest. You're too focused on Steve and the way his face looks under the colorful flashing lights.

"Oh yeah?" he asks, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling too widely at your comment. His eyes are bright with laughter when you meet his gaze and nod confidently. "How do I get 'unfair', exactly?"

"'S all in the face," you say matter-of-factly, your own fingers trailing down his cheek in an almost absentminded gesture. "Kinda makes it hard to think about anything else sometimes, if I'm being real here. Like, it's not really fair, 'cause then what are we supposed to talk about? Oh, oh—and then there's your hair!"

"My hair?"

Robin wheezes somewhere behind you, which would have made you giggle if you were still paying attention to the people in the room besides Steve, but you're not.

"Mmhmm," you hum, your eyes running over the soft brown locks on top of his head. "Love it. Wanna touch it all the time. Y'see, Steve? You see? This is why it's not fair at all. And, and—" you trail off here for dramatic effect, squinting at him theatrically before leaning closer with your hand cupped to the side of your mouth, as if you're about to share something private. "—the way you make my insides feel? So, so unfair. Totally your fault, buddy."

"Wha-" Steve croaks out, looking alarmed and caught off guard by your drunken confession. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh," you regain your serious tone, frowning at him in a somewhat bemused manner when he continues to gape at you. "Not 'sposed to tell you. S'not the rules."

Eddie barks out a laugh somewhere off to your left, but Steve ignores him. "Rules?"

"Yeah, 's against the rules, dummy," you say, like he should've already known that. "Gotta follow the rules! Duh. Steve."

"Yeah, Steve, duh," Robin pipes up, earning herself a glare from Steve as well as a smirk from Eddie. "Oops, sorry. Please, continue."

"Can I touch your hair? Like, please, 'cause I might die if I don't, 'kay? If that's okay. Gotta test the theory. Just a little bit, though." You can tell by his expression that he wants to laugh, and that he's also mildly worried that you've lost your mind. "Please?"

Robin, Eddie and Nancy have their hands clapped over their mouths to contain their laughter. You're too drunk to notice, but Steve narrows his eyes at them in warning. "Yes," he says. "Just—yeah, go ahead."

With a little noise of excitement, you reach out to card your fingers through his hair. He smells really good — like clean laundry and fresh pine trees — and the feel of his hair in your palm is exactly what you had imagined, though you're loathe to pull your hand away now that you've felt it.

Steve goes unnaturally still as you press your face into the juncture between his neck and shoulder, a move he should have expected but didn't, and you sigh happily when the scent of his cologne hits you full force. He's like a living, breathing, cuddly teddy bear, you think, a combination of warmth, softness, and comfort all rolled up in one gorgeous, handsome, unobtainable package.

"You're warm," you mumble, feeling like you could fall asleep right now. "So, so warm. 'S like you've got a space heater in your chest, 'n that's like, so awesome."

He blinks a few times, momentarily speechless as he tries to come to terms with the fact that you are, in fact, drunk enough to be saying whatever the hell comes to your mind. "Uh, thanks?"

"Smell nice too," you murmur, hugging him tighter to you. "Like, wow. Love your hair, like, love love."

His cheeks are burning hot now, his heart beating erratically in his chest when he notices Eddie staring at the two of you with a knowing gleam in his eye. "That's—thank you, but, hey, come on now," Steve says, his voice faltering a little. "Let's get you home, okay?"

"I don't wanna."

"Don't you wanna sleep in your bed?"

You pause, considering his words, and eventually concede that, yes, your bed does sound lovely right about now, so you give him a brief nod in response. "I guess, but can you come too?"

He chokes on air, but manages to play it off by clearing his throat. "What—to your bed? No!"

"Why not?"

Steve shifts a little under your intense, alcohol-addled scrutiny; he feels strangely guilty, as though he's letting you down by saying no. "Because you're drunk?" he says, feeling flustered and unreasonably nervous all of a sudden.

You scrunch up your face in a pout. "Oh, that's a dumb reason."

Steve chuckles and you sigh happily again, because you love his laugh and everything else about him, and he seems to realize this, given the way his expression softens. "Come on, you drunkard. Let's go home," he says gently, tugging on your arm in an attempt to get you to stand.

You resist at first, shaking your head stubbornly as you hold onto him. "Can't. My legs don't work anymore. They're all wobbly."

Steve closes his eyes for a moment, huffs out a soft laugh, and you can't help but grin up at him. He's so pretty that, like, how is that even allowed? How can you be around him and not spontaneously combust or something?

"Well, what if I carried you?"

"Like a princess?"

Steve looks at you with an expression you can't decipher — it's halfway between incredulous and endeared, and it makes your heart feel too big for your rib cage.

"How romantic," Nancy observes.

"So long as she doesn't throw up on him," Eddie adds, nodding sagely in agreement.

"Oh, I hope she does," Robin says, with a devious smile, "he'd deserve it for being such a coward."

"I'm...right here, guys, and I can still hear you." Steve finally says, throwing them a scathing look that only makes them laugh. "If you're not going to be helpful, you can wait in the car."

"As if," Eddie counters.

Steve opens his mouth to tell him where exactly he can stick his opinions, when you grab the front of his shirt and drag him closer.

"Steve," you say, the smile falling from your face as a sudden thought occurs to you. "Are you mad at me? Because I can go home by myself. That's okay."

"Hey, no," he replies softly, "I'm not mad at you, sweetheart. Not ever."

"'Sweetheart'? Really?" Eddie mutters to Nancy, who elbows him in the ribs when he doesn't lower his voice in time. "Ow, okay, okay—just saying. Don't want them to keep dancing around each other forever, is all."

"I'm not dancing," you tell him, completely unaware of Eddie's snickering, "I don't have any shoes on, Eddie. Wouldn't be able to dance without shoes on. Silly."

"My bad," Eddie says, his lips twitching with badly concealed laughter, "forgive me."

Steve scowls at him before turning his attention back to you, his face so close to yours that you can momentarily feel the tickle of his breath against your skin. "Okay, come on," he says, "up we go."

And then, in one swift movement, he slides his arm under your knees and scoops you up into his arms. You let out a squeak of surprise and automatically wrap your arms around his neck to steady yourself.

"Oh, oh, oh," you say excitedly, "you really are gonna carry me."

"Told you so." Steve adjusts his grip on you and makes his way towards the exit. "Are you good? Am I hurting you?"

You shake your head slowly, grinning as you stare at him from a whole new angle. "No," you tell him, feeling much more awake than you were moments before. "This is...this is like, actually kinda cool."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," you repeat, smiling shyly back at him. "Feel like a real life Cinderella now. Whoa, you're, like, super strong."

"Yeah, Stevie, you're 'super strong.'" Eddie teases, waggling his eyebrows when Steve sends him a quick glare. "Aw, don't look at me like that. It's cute. The two of you."

Nancy doesn't tease like Robin and Eddie do. She walks behind Steve, making sure to stay a couple steps behind to give the two of you some privacy. Even so, when you look over your shoulder to make sure nobody's listening, she gives you a wink and a small thumbs-up that makes you smile.

The parking lot is filled with teenagers all wandering aimlessly in groups, so it takes Steve a while to navigate his way through the crowd. By the time he finds the spot where he parked his BMW, you've grown drowsy enough to rest your head on his shoulder.

Eddie immediately pops open the door to the backseat, slapping it a few times as he looks over at Steve and grins. "Hurry it up, lover boy," he drawls out, "she looks half-asleep already."

"She's fine," Steve shoots back, frowning in annoyance when Eddie and Robin both pretend to yawn exaggeratedly, "shut up. I hate you guys."

[umbralsound-xiv]

Fair Warnings.

Bexy Amalaryssia remains settled, lost in her thoughts as she gazed to the fish tank; though her eyes didn't follow the swimming creatures within. Instead, she stared almost to a fixed point, brow faintly knit in her reflection.

I don't regret what i did. Barbaric, some might call it, but i think it's a necessary evil. They need to know any attempt to take her back will result in violence. ...How quickly they forget.

White Rabbit cracked open the door, peeking her head into the company's estate. Her own gaze found the back of exactly why she made the not-so-little trip— miss ice pick. The rest of her body eased inside, one knee-locked leg in front of the other brought her further as she swayed. "Ice-pick~" she lightly cooed. Didn't wanna startle her. Who knows what she'd do.

The sound of the door alone is enough for Bexy's ears to turn in the direction of it, puzzling out through footsteps… Until there was unfamiliarity. Her nickname pulls a sigh from her nose, head turned over her shoulder as her hair followed, spilling in midnight waves. "White." Bexy greets back. It's neither welcoming nor unkind, but she's acknowledged.

White Rabbit stood there, keeping a wide distance while her hands kept clasped behind her back. She leaned this way and that, smiling at her. "Are you goin' to guess? Why I'm here. Or are you goin' to ruin the fun? And have me tell you. Without a single one." Another step she took brought her closer, then another followed by however many more were needed till she reached the back of the obstacle in the form of a sofa. Or couch. She didn't know the difference.

Bexy Amalaryssia slips her hand from the glass of the fish tank, the faint glimmer of frost leaving it, to quickly vanish from the absence of her hand. "I suppose my antics finally caught up with you?" She asks, a small tilt of her head in turn. "I'm assuming it wasn't for tea and cake."

I'd be surprised if it was anything less. Not that it's a secret. You don't usually get to have so many secrets from someone like White.

White Rabbit: "I'm /always/ happy to have cake. Even with /you/." Less so the tea. Unless it was the super fruity kind. She'd drink it. Placing her arms folded over one another upon the back of the sofa, she leaned on them. "We're gettin' /artistic/. Is this a new hobby? A bit morbid. Some would say." Like her. "No. That's not it. Is it?" A pause. "That errand boy. Was he apart of it?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "No. Sayuri let him live… On the premise that he'd help those inside. Though i wager that'll take time to bear fruit, if any. As for what i did…" A few steady, heeled steps close the gap towards the sofa. "I was sending a message. They came for her again, White. For Sayuri. I wasn't about to let them go without a warning."

"They're." She laughed. "Dumb. So /very/ stupid. So surprisin' how they keep poking the bear. Do you like bears? They look so soft. But they have those /claws/." Squishing her cheek into her palm she smirked at the woman. "You don't look like a bear." Anyways— "He's alive. Runnin' yours. Her errands. I /knew/ it'd fit him." Thinking back at what she was told she dramatically sighed, rolling her eyes.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "You'd think they'd learn. After all the bloodshed, both without and within, and still, still they try to take her?" Already the room had grown cold, Bexy's aether stirring at the thought of it, but it gets no worse than that. "I'd rather a whole host of bears than slavers. At least beasts know better than to try the same stupid thing twice." Her eyes narrow as White rolls her own, tail swatting lightly at her heel. "Whether he remains useful remains to be seen. Don't suppose you've seen anything of him, hm?"

White Rabbit shook her head, telling her no. "He'll be useful. Even if it's only a tiny bit. You'll take that. Won't you?" Rocking her head the other way, it had become the opposite cheek's turn to be squished. "Are they. Nabbin' folks? Still." She heard things, but she wanted to compare them— hear what the icy woman had to say all while taking note like she tended to do.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Probably. I doubt much they'd simply stop, considering how long they've been established. Sayuri's something of a special case, mind. That bastard is -obsessed-." Another small huff of cold is given from her nose, then. "That's what you wanted to hear? Whether it was me that was responsible for that gruesome sight on the clifftops?" Her painted lips curl into a more wicked smirk, gaze trailing briefly over the back of White's hand. "Did anyone else even come to mind?"

White Rabbit stared at Bexy's face, her smirk staying exactly how it was. "No. Who else would put on a display. Like /that/?" Her thoughts circled around the answer she was given. Again, she heard things. She thought it was true and she wanted to be wrong. Sometimes it was good to be. Now was one of them. Her eyes danced over to the fish. "Do they go after carriages?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Hah. -Good-." Bexy leans in a little further, half kneeling on the cushion of the sofa. "So there's no mistaking to them that it was -me-. Hopefully they come to the same conclusions that you did." White's latter question bring a small 'hm', from Bexy's lips. "I don't know. It wouldn't surprise me, but i don't know for sure. Why?"

White Rabbit's eyes dropped down to the woman's knees, pausing there a moment before making their way up to meet her face. Her own's brows lifted by the tugging of curiosity. "If they're not that stupid." But then came the 'why'. "Why not? Come on, icepick. Have you forgotten why we're business partners? I know things. Askin' means I get to know even /more/."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Well the only thing you'll learn from me is that i don't know. Not about that, at least. Have any gone missing?" Bexy asks with a curiosity of her own, eyes settled on White's own.

White Rabbit shook her head, making a note in it. "Not that /I've/ heard of. But folks? They always are goin' missing. Who knows. If its from beast or because of some bastard." A small laugh hopped out of her mouth.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Suppose we'll find out if Q'kura decides to be useful or not." Hesitation hung in Bexy's words for a moment, her attention only half settling on White's face until it drifts lower to her hands. "…It was worrying, mind. Not only because they went after her again. But it was in the Shroud. Not Thanalan."

Now /that/ was an interesting nugget of knowledge. Quickly, she hoisted herself up! Swinging her legs over the couch's back to plop herself down between it and Bexy's legs. Her seat now. "The Shroud?" she parroted back, surprise bleed into her tone. "Well. Wellwellwell, I guess you're right, icepick. Grimy Grym really is obsessed. He should get a hobby. That doesn't involve stealin' folks. Pressin' flowers could work…"

Or stealing flowers, considering Sayuri's namesake. I swear, if i ever find myself in shooting distance of him, it will take everything i have to not kill him there and then.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "…The Shroud. The South Shroud, so perhaps as close as you can get to Thanalan without actually being there, but… Yes. She and Eir both were attacked, and managed to fend them off and return here. They're both fine after a stint in the infirmary, but… Still." Bexy's lips pull into a line as White descends, and Bexy doesn't move an ilm. She is -cold-, though, and moreso for the proximity to her. "Perhaps he could lose the habit of breathing, while he was at it. Though i have a feeling even if we put him down, it won't be the end of it. But it would help."

White Rabbit: "Can he still cook? Bake." Now was not the time to think about cookies. But there she was, lounging lazily against the sofa with an ankle resting on her thigh while the rest of that leg dangled off next to the icy woman. She'd be great to stand next to in the desert's heat. That was an idea. "Who'd take over? If he picked that hobby. Anyone? Or would it all fall apart?"

Bexy Amalaryssia: "Eir can still cook, yes. Perhaps i'll actually have time to try some of it, this time." Bexy levels her gaze on White, staring. "…Vairg, if i had to guess. Or Z'quohn, their right hand. But i don't know a lot about him, save for that he's supposed to be the smart one."

White Rabbit let out a small 'huh'. "Vairg." she repeated between a slight grin. A small one. She wasn't happy about it, but she'd be lying to say she wasn't curious how that'd go for everyone. "Would hate to meet him. In a dark alley. Or a lit one." Moving on from that, she asked, "Whats next? His and hers are safe. For now. You're going to see? Listen. For whatever the errand boy gets done?" Nosey. She had every right to be, she felt. Knowing things helped, not only for herself, but for that little group of Bexy's.

I met Vairg once. He's an imposing man, and i can see well why others might fear him. It took both Vex and i to hold Sayuri back behind the table. But he's just a man. Blood and bone like the rest of us. One good arrow to the right place would kill him like any other.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "That's the idea. No more killing; Not for the moment. I wouldn't want them to think that i won't stop even if they haven't taken her, and provide any sort of encouragement. If i hear anything from Q'kura… You'll know." Her expression sours a little, at the mention of Vairg. "…He's dangerous, White. He won't think twice about gutting you like a fish."

White Rabbit quipped back, "Good thing. I'm not a fish." No, she was a cocky woman and she knew what that got her the last time. Didn't stop her from running her mouth in front of /kinder/ company.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "-White-." Bexy warns with a sharp frown, pushing away from the sofa to sulk back at the fishtank. "Do whatever you want, but you can't say you weren't warned."

White Rabbit: "Do you think I /would/. Say that?" Hands against the sofa's cushion helped push her up to stand.

Bexy Amalaryssia: "I don't know." Bexy retorts, head inclined. "Smart as you are, even you're prone to occasional bouts of stupidity." Bexy's gloved hand raises, a slender, all-too-familiar icy dagger forming in her grasp, which she idly twirls between her fingers.

White Rabbit swung her arms out to either side into a small bow. "And yet. Here I stand. Able to have even /more/ of those bouts." A smug smile pulled her lips wide, pushing her cheeks up into her gaze that stared at the woman. Standing full she began to slowly stroll, opting to go around the couch this time instead of over it. Stopping between it and the chair near by she didn't look behind her. "If you hear anythin'. About more nabbins. Where they're happenin'. To who and how they're travelin'."

White Rabbit: "I want to know."

Bexy Amalaryssia: "And yet, here you are!" Bexy echoes, with a little more enthusiasm. "…-Just-." White's smile was met with a frown, dismissing it with a sigh as she watched the Raen move off from the sofa. "You'll know if i hear anything." Bexy replies. "Same goes for you if you learn anything you think might be important to me."

Content, she started strolling again, stepping into a bounce around into walking backwards as she lifted a hand. She wiggled her fingers, giving the woman her iconic farewell. "I'll see you, icepick! Soon. I hope. We could have some cake!"

Bexy Amalaryssia heaves a sigh at White's departure. The idea of cake wasn't a terrible one, but she wouldn't remark on it. "Just… Be careful." Bexy remarks, raising her own gloved hand in kind as farewell.

...I hope she listens, for her sake. I don't want to think about what Grym would do if he got his hands on her.

...Though i wouldn't be surprised if she talked her way out of it. Or brought her back.

[mosinterlude]

━━ DON'T DATE MY BROTHER! ✦ starry-eyed y/n

suggested tracks: francis forever - mitski. lights are on - tom rosenthal. watching him fade away - mac demarco. crack baby - mitski.

Nervously was how Y/N entered the HYBE building. After thinking long and hard(no pun intended) about what Taehyung had suggested, she decided that the first thing to do was speak to Riki. After showing the man at the desk her ID card Jimin had made for her(The thought of him leaves a pit in her stomach.) She heads for the stairs, despite the man’s suggestion that she take the elevators. She wasn’t exactly sure where to find him or that he was even there, but she knew Jungkook was there; If anything, she would tell him about her situation and ask him to relay a message to Riki. She finds Jungkook’s studio room, and knocks swiftly on the door. She was not expecting Riki Nishimura to open the door, peering down at her.

Y/N crumbles immediately. Seeing him upfront and close to her throws her into a frenzy. He looks perfectly fine, wearing that loose black and white striped shirt with black pants, his black hair curly and cute on him. His lips catch her eye, because he had a thin white scar on his bottom lip now. No fucking way, abort abort abort-

But something is weird. He doesn’t look mad. He looks glad, almost happy to see her. He grins, leaning half his body out the room.

“Y/N! I’m so glad to see you! What brings you here?” But Y/N’s mind is blank because she didn’t expect to actually see him. She was unprepared, and probably looked frazzled and underdressed(How can you underdress a casual style though.) 'He’s so beautiful. Konon is gonna kill me' is the only thought that runs through her mind as she stands there.

“Y/N? Y/NNNNN. Earth to N/N!” The use of her nickname brings her back, and her hands are burning hot as she tries to hide them sheepishly.

“Uh, i was here to drop something off to Jungkook, but i just realized i left it sitting on my kitchen table.” Y/N stammers, and immediately starts planning out her death as the words leave her mouth. She would walk into oncoming traffic, a clean and emotionally painless death for her would be fit. Riki, however, seemed none the wiser, and shook his head, laughing at her. He stepped back into Jungkook’s studio, opening the door as an invitation. She shook her head quickly, hands gripping the strap to her shoulder bag.

“Thank you, but I'm not staying for long. But since you’re here, I wanna talk to you.” He tilts his head, like a deer almost, and nods, signaling that he’s listening. “I’m sorry forlike blowing you off the other night. This is gonna sound super stupid but-” Before Y/N finish speaking he shakes his head, interrupting her.

“Because Konon doesn’t want you to. Yeah I already know.” He says it almost apologetically, but Y/N tilts her head, pursing her lips.

“Huh? What are you talking about? I mean, I couldn't go because of Konon, but it’s for a totally different reason.” She frowns at him.

“What? No, Konon texted me that she didn’t want me to hang around you and to stay away, something about her not wanting us alone together. Here, look.” He pulls his phone out of his phone, tapping it to unlock it. His lockscreen was a photo of him and his younger sister Sola. She was so sweet, like a little doll, always wanting to play when Y/N visited Japan.

Riki unlocks it, opening up his messages and handing the phone to Y/N. The more she reads, the deeper the frown lines around her lips get. There’s a full conversation of Konon arguing with Riki to stay away from her, and to pretend like she doesn’t exist unless Konon is there.

“B-but this doesn’t make sense.” Just the other night Konon was clinging to her, not wanting to let her go even so Y/N could refill her drink. She would pull her away from Olivia when she would lean into her, not wanting her to feel left out. “I have to go.” Suddenly, she was feeling overwhelmed. Lately, whether it was the best new ever or a stupid prank, she would burst into tears. It was fucking annoying, but ever since she blew up on Jimin, the floodgates opened every five minutes.

“Wait, hold on.” Riki does something on his phone, then hands it to her. “Put your number in my phone so I can reach you.” She nods, and she's too focused on quickly putting her number in and getting out of there that she doesn’t notice that he already typed in a contact name for her. ‘starry-eyed y/n’ She plasters on a fake smile and heads him back his phone, then turns on her heel. She leaves so quickly that she doesn’t even think to ask why he was at Jungkook’s studio to begin with.

She cries in her car in the parking lot for forty minutes, for reasons so couldn’t begin to explain.

✿ * 𓈀 synopsis :: Being Park Jimin's younger sister comes with pros and cons. Cons, Park Y/N will never experience a true day of peace in her life. Pros, they were able to became friend's with other idol's sisters, and even though they became friends because of their brothers, they stayed friends because they all fit together, like pieces of a puzzle. Only thing? Don't fall for anyone's brother. Easy enough, until Y/N exposes her two year crush on Nishimura Konon's brother, Nishimura Riki. Not just to Konon though, half the world.

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ꗃ : ˖ ۫ ◖ 𓂃 mo's interlude :: SURPRISE SHAWTY😍😍 im back and its with a banger lets go

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[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[alirhi]

...goddess help me...

This fucking episode. *deep breath* This... This episode is where I'm expecting to get some serious hate. Let me just get this out of the way right up front:

I. Hate. Zemo.

I do not find him sympathetic, or funny, or charming. I find him creepy and annoying. I did not like him in CA:CW and I do not like him in TFATWS. If you are pro-Zemo, you are not going to like my version of this show from here on out. Just find something else to read and don't bother me about it. You've got the actual canon, so go enjoy that.

Got it? Good. Now, on to the main event!

Episode 3: The Power Broker

First of all, Sam doesn't let Bucky walk in there alone. No matter Bucky's (flimsy and nonsensical) argument, Sam's like "hell no. I go in with you, or you don't go in." The main reason for this isn't to keep Bucky from breaking Zemo out of prison (with decent writing, he would never do that) - it's so that Sam witnesses Zemo taunting Bucky with/about the trigger words. because Zemo is a piece of shit.

Since he doesn't know the full story, Sam is confused, but he files this interaction away to ask Bucky about later. He's listening to Zemo acknowledging that Bucky was "not conscious for most of [his] imprisonment" (which, yes, clearly refers to the time he spent frozen, but can also mean while he was under their control as TWS/"The Asset" - also, key word: imprisonment) and when he calls Bucky a means to an end, Sam scowls, looking ready to go off on him, but he waits. They've got more important issues.

Neither of them entertains the thought of breaking Zemo out for even a nanosecond. He does that shit himself. And literally the only reason I'm sticking with him getting out at all is because I want to address some truly egregious moments linked directly to him in the show. Zemo makes them think he's setting them on the trail when really he's just sending them to his motor pool. Bucky and Sam are confused until they see Zemo in his stolen guard uniform, then they're both angry and want to ship him right back to prison, but he strikes a deal with them: "My help for my temporary freedom. Creating super soldiers cannot be allowed to continue; let me finish my work, and then do with me as you will." He has no intention of going quietly back to prison, obviously, and they're not stupid enough to believe otherwise, but they believe they can keep him on a short leash, so they agree for now. Anything to bring down the Flag Smashers and whoever created them.

After the title, we cut to Raynor on the phone in her office. She's agitated, fiddling with things on her desk. "No, sir," she's practically growling, "it was disrupted. - Walker did! - It's not my fault your new attack dog got off-leash!" She pauses, huffs, and says more calmly, "No. Of course not. I'm sorry. - Well, I don't see how, with the new Cap strutting around barking orders! - What am I supposed to do? Tell Captain America in front of a dozen witnesses that he can't have his predecessor's favorite pet because we're not done reprogramming him? I didn't see that going over too well. I made a call. - No. No, no, no, we can still use him. The work's not finished, but he still trusts me. He'll be back." A pause as she listens. Angry again, she snaps, "What do you want me to do, shove a tracker up his ass? He'll be back, and we'll pick right back up where we left off! - Don't worry, sir, the Asset will be fully compliant and ready to use soon. I'll make sure of it. - Yes, sir. You, too." She hangs up and tosses her phone on the couch, grumbling, "Dick."

Cut back to Sam, Bucky, and Zemo getting going on their trip to Madripoor. On the plane, Sam wants to talk to Bucky about what he's learned so far, but doesn't want to bring it up in front of Zemo... until the notebook incident reminds him that Zemo already knows more about Bucky than he does.

After Zemo's line about the list, Sam angrily corrects him: "You mean people HYDRA used The Winter Soldier to hurt." When Zemo shrugs and his response is basically along the lines of "what's the difference" Sam is like "oh hell no."

"Those words you were reciting at him," he reminds Zemo, "what were they, Russian? They clearly meant something. They were supposed to do something. What are they?" "Sam, let it go," Bucky pleads, unable to look at either of them. "It's nothing." "You wanna drown in your guilt, that's fine," Sam snaps, "but make sure it's for the right reasons." He turns back to Zemo, who's smiling at this exchange because he's a monster and thinks Bucky's suffering is fucking funny. "I asked you a question, Zemo. What did those words do?" "They activate the Winter Soldier programming," Bucky grudgingly admits. He doesn't want to talk about it, but he's sure as hell not going to let Zemo speak for him. "Or, they did, before the Wakandans got all that shit out of my head." "It's a shame," Zemo says with a smirk. "Imagine the possibilities that come with perfect obedience." "I think you mean 'slavery'," Sam growls, "and I think you're in the wrong crowd to be looking so pleased about it. Remember that we can send your ass back to prison any time." "Of course," Zemo agrees, but with an arrogant smile that shows he doesn't believe for a second that these two have any real power over him. Still, he bides his time and sits back quietly, watching Bucky fidget with the notebook. Sam turns back to Bucky, seeing his discomfort; he won't let the topic go, though, not yet. He just softens his tone. "So, they 'activated the Winter Soldier'? What exactly does that mean?" Bucky shrugs, still not looking up. "Pretty much what he said - perfect obedience. What little consciousness they left me between cryo and the chair was squashed down, locked away. And I did whatever I was told, exactly the way they told me to." It finally clicks. He'd had his suspicions before, of course, but now Sam gets it. Visibly horrified, he stares at this quiet, broken man, and finally sees the truth of what he'd been through for 70 years: "They stripped away your autonomy. Shit, Bucky, they didn't even let you be a person. That's..." He swallows, looking like he'll be sick any minute. "That's awful, man. I'm so sorry." When Bucky tries to shrug it off and downplay it again, Sam gets angry. "Look at me!" He waits; it takes a few seconds, but Bucky reluctantly looks up and is surprised to see just how upset Sam is on his behalf. "It wasn't your fault. None of it. When Steve said you didn't have a choice, I had no idea... You really, truly had no choice; not even the ability to choose. That's horrifying." "I doubt it would make much difference to the people he's killed," Zemo points out snidely. "Or their families. Let's ask Tony Stark, shall we?" "You shut the hell up," Sam growls. He watches Bucky flinch and make that face - the face he's starting to really fucking hate - that says he agrees with Zemo. Bucky still can't see things the way Sam does; he still feels the guilt and shame, and even when he himself pointed out his lack of agency under HYDRA, it didn't click for him that Sam is right, not Zemo.

It's too much, too soon. Sam sees that and decides to change the subject, to give Bucky some time to process. He nods at the notebook, and they have their little Marvin Gaye debate, where Sam is over the top about it on purpose, because Bucky needs the distraction.

Of course, Zemo ruins it by opening his big mouth again and reminding Bucky of more trauma: his time fighting in WWII. That's why Sam latches onto the bit about Madripoor; to keep the focus not only on the task at hand, but off of Bucky's past that he clearly still can't cope with.

"James... You will have to become someone you claim is gone." Sam is officially ready to throw Zemo out a window. 😂 The only reason he doesn't jump to Bucky's defense again and basically tell Zemo to fuck himself (in a PG-13 way 🙄) is because Bucky's, as Sam pointed out in ep2, a grown-ass man, and because he's just learned how few decisions this poor man has been able to make in his life. Sam doesn't want to come across as another "handler," deciding everything for him, even if he does think this plan is stupid and needlessly cruel.

At the bar, when asked if he wants "the usual", Sam just casually waves the bartender off like "nah". Zemo already said they had business to attend to, so it's not like anyone would be suspicious that now's probably not a good time to be doing weird shots lol. (wtf even was that? I'm not sure I want to know, but...what part of the snake did he drop into that drink?)

Sam's not an idiot (I'm really so sick of this trend of turning intelligent characters into morons because the writers can't think of any other way to move their plot along) so his cell phone has been off this whole time. No sudden call from Sarah to put them all in danger. There was really no point to that, anyway; Sharon likely would have killed Selby for talking about Nagle with or without the excuse of "saving" Sam and Bucky. I mean, it's not like they know who fired that shot, ever.

"They cleared the Bionic Staring Machine," Sam still jokes, but he follows it with, "and they think he's a mass-murderer." "They think?" Sharon stares at him incredulously. "Didn't he kill pretty much everyone he's ever met?" "Wow." Sam glances back at Bucky. "She really is awful now." To Sharon, he adds, "You met Steve; do you really think he'd have defied 117 countries to protect someone evil?" "He did it for Bucky," she points out. "Let's face it - Bucky could blow up half the planet, and Steve's loyal-to-a-fault ass would still take a bullet for him." "You know I'm sitting right here, right? I can hear you." "Look, I don't think you're evil, Bucky," Sharon assures him. "But I know you killed a lot of people for HYDRA." "I'm not denying it." "He didn't have a choice," Sam snaps, glaring at them both. "But we're not getting into that right now. My point is, the government's afraid of Bucky, and they still pardoned him. All you did was steal something. I'm sure they can be persuaded to see reason." "The day the US government sees reason," Sharon quips, rolling her eyes, "is the day I sprout real wings and fly off into the sunset." "Careful, Icarus," Bucky mocks with a smirk, "the sun and brand new wings don't exactly go together." Then he shrugs and glances at Sam. "But she's not wrong."

At the party that night, it takes a few minutes (grumpy old man Bucky's not sure how to feel about the music lol) but a peek of pre-war Bucky comes out to play: they were told to "blend in", so he dances. At first he's just bobbing around alone looking stoic and out of place, but soon he's smiling and dancing between two attractive people - one male, one female. Sam is surprised, but before he can tease him for it, Sharon comes to get them all. Even she's a little "wait what?" at Bucky having a little fun lol. (recovery is not linear, guys. trauma doesn't mean "perpetually miserable, no fun, doesn't even know how to smile." in my TFATWS, Bucky gets his lighter moments; real ones, not humor at his expense)

When they find Nagle, Bucky's the one who notices and opens the secret door, while Sam keeps an eye on Zemo. Bucky catches Zemo trying to grab that gun; closes the drawer on his hand before opening it and taking the gun away. "Nice try." Nagle tries to get away while there's only one person watching him, but Sam catches him and forces him back into his seat. With a bruising grip on the back of Zemo's neck, Bucky drags him back over to where he and Sam can both keep an eye on him. Nagle is killed in the shootout as they're trying to escape; Zemo still runs off, blows shit up, and comes back with the stolen car so he's not totally useless.

I had no problem with Zemo being the one to kill Nagle; Nagle was the worst and def had to die, and Zemo has never had an issue killing anyone. Where I took issue with this scene was Bucky and Sam being dumb enough to let Zemo wander and get his hands on a gun. Nope. Not happening.

Anyway, shootout! Explosions! Funny banter! The seat thing, which is my favorite nod to CW ever lol... And then the conversation on the plane...

"You okay?" "Yeah." Sam sighs. "Just thinking." "About how to get Sharon that pardon you dangled in front of her?" He shakes his head. "About how Nagle referred to 'The Winter Soldier Program" like it was some kind of after school club; like you weren't standing right there. And 'the American test subject' like... Like Isaiah wasn't even a real person." He turns to face Bucky, looking angry and weary. "Makes me wonder how many times... How many times are we gonna run around in the same circles before people learn? And how many people need to get crushed underfoot in the meantime?" "Did you really just equate me with Isaiah?" Bucky frowns, not sure how to react to that. "That man is a hero." Sam opens his mouth to say something, but his phone goes off and Zemo approaches at the same time, effectively cutting off their conversation.

When they get to Riga and Zemo tries to guilt trip them over Sokovia, Bucky deadpan reminds him, "Neither of us were involved in that fight." "I doubt you'd have been much help if you were." He shrugs. "Probably not. But I like to save my guilt for events I was actually present for. It's a thing." Zemo laughs. "Fair enough."

Bucky goes on his walk, and meets up with Ayo.

[obsidianfr3sk]

the star of my sky

@renegadesnet event 8: friendship february

↪ [ Kasumi Hasegawa & Evander Wade / “If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky.”]

Summary: She could imagine her future, but she couldn't imagine herself not being friends with Evander. Kasumi would never be able to take her things and move to another place where he was not part of it. Because Kasumi would never voluntarily leave her home. And Evander had been her home since the first moment he walked through that door.

AO3

Hi, there!! This is my entry for the event 8 of @renegadesnet. I hope I’m not too late x’d in my time zone, it’s 9:06PM right now, so... I guess I’m fine. I feel like an irresponsible high schooler summiting her homework at 11:59pm... No, wait, that’s actually what I am.

Well x’d as you could see from the caption, this a fic focused on Evander and Kasumi’s friendship. I don’t even know why I’m so invested in this... made-up relationship (since they didn’t interact at all in canon) but I think it all began because when I started writing fics about the Council, I remembered Hugh and Simon weren’t the only members of it and that the rest of them needed to have, you know, personalities and relationships between them, details that MM seemed to forgot jaja. And these two just inmediatly made click with each other, at least in my head, and I’ve been dying to write something about them for a long time, but I think I never worked up the courage to actually do it until now:’) I’m even thinking about a small sequel but yeah

Despite what I said before (that for me the interest in these two started when I began to write my own fics) my dear mother Dawn ( @honey-hippie-harper) had a lot of very interesting headcanons about the whole dynamic the Council had during the Age of Anarchy, and two of those headcanons are that they all slept in the same bed they had at Simon’s basement and that when Adrian was born they decided that it would be better if some of them moved somewhere else, so it would be harder for people to discover their true indentities. Georgia and Adrian moved to an apartment Simon got for them, Simon and Hugh move to another one, and Tamaya got her own place, while Kasumi and Evander stayed at the Westwood house. So, for this fic, I decided to write based on those two specific headcanons. All credits to her!

Also this is gonna sound super weird but here I mention that Evander wears a cap x’d and that’s based on my other mother Wins ( @healing-winston-pratt) design of him, which you can find here! You know the drill, gente x’d go, like and reblog it!

Dawnie, Winston, this is a fic dedicaded to the two of you. Thank you for being such good mothers and friends to me✨

Since this an “unpopular” brotp I’m not quite sure who to tag, I really don’t want to bother anyone x’d but, @all-weather-is-bad and @ifyouhadntbutyoudid, I know you guys also love their dynamic so I think you may be interested on reading this! And if you also like my work, please like and reblog, it means the world to me <3

Also please forget any grammar/spelling mistakes, I feel phisically sick right now because I took a pill and it’s making me so freaking dizzy I think I’m gonna throw up or something x’d

I live to let you shine,

but you can skyrocket away from me,

and never come back if you find another galaxy,

far from here, with more room to fly.

Just leave me your stardust to remember you by.

The last days they spent living in the house were somewhat chaotic. Perhaps a part of it was due to the fact that now that Adrian was with them, they were all deprived of sleep. However, Kasumi was sure that it also had a lot to do with the fact that they had not realized how much of a mess the whole house actually was until the time to move out came and they couldn’t find their things.

Well, she wasn't moving out. But the rest of them were.

And that was something that Kasumi had been thinking about a lot since the moment that Georgie's pregnancy was made public, but that she had never dared to say it out loud because she was too afraid of the answer.

She didn’t have to say anything though. They gave her an answer as if she had asked them; her family loved to give their opinions even when nobody asked them to do it. 

It turns out that they could no longer live in Simon's house.

At least not the six— seven of them.

The city had gone crazy with Adrian’s birth (or Baby Indomitable, as they had affectionately named him), and while it was a good type of crazy, it also made them a little nervous that this new member of the family would put their secret identities at risk. Now, every time they came out in their civilian form, people were going to be looking everywhere for a woman who looked like Georgie, was holding a newborn baby and, as a bonus, was accompanied by some blond or brunette guy, a red-haired boy or a girl with dark hair.

Yes, they couldn’t take that risk.

“… But when you want to open that door,” Simon was telling her, “you have to push it with your shoulder, because if you don't—”

“It will not open,” Kasumi said.

“It's not going to open,” Simon agreed.

“She lives here too, Simon,” Tamaya said washing the glass in which she had been drinking water. “She knows how to open the door.”

All six of them were sitting at the dining room table. Georgie was nursing Adrian, while the rest ate a tasteless soup that they had made three days ago and that was surely going to spoil if they did not eat it that night.

“Yes, but there is anything wrong with remembering important points,” Simon noticed. “It is the first time that she will live alone.”

“She won't be alone,” Evander exclaimed suddenly. “She's going to be with me,” and he continued sipping the soup.

Hugh scowled at him. “Stop sipping your soup, Evander.”

But that only made him sip the soup harder. Hugh rolled his eyes and Georgie put Adrian on her shoulder to make him burp.

“I still can't find my cap,” Evander continued, touching his hair. “It seems to me like you have it in your box and wanna steal it.”

“Why would I want to steal your cap?”

“Maybe because you don't have one.”

At that moment, Adrian burped and Hugh's face lit up.

“That's what I think of your stupid cap,” he replied, pointing at Adrian.

Even Kasumi laughed at that joke. But Evander didn't find it funny.

“Good thing you're leaving now,” he said, clenching to the spoon with which he was eating his soup. “I don’t like any of you.”

“You don’t even like Kasumi?” Georgie asked, pretending to be surprised. Simon took Adrian in his arms so she could adjust her blouse properly.

Before Evander could answer, Hugh did it for him. “I heard him say in his sleep that he hated Kasumi the most.”

Evander tried to throw the spoon at him, but Tamaya grabbed his wrist and nearly ripped off his hand.

“Not in my watch, you fu—”

“Tamaya,” Georgie scolded her. “Remember what I told you.”

Tamaya looked at Adrian for a second and then focused her gaze on the ceiling. “Not in my watch, you ... f-u-c-k-i-n-g punk.”

“Are we spelling curse words now?” Simon asked.

“Jesus fu—“ Hugh stopped himself. “Wait ... f-u ... c ... k ...”

“Uh, someone can’t spell f-u-c-k-i-n-g,” Evander laughed out loud.

Georgie chimed in before Hugh threw his spoon at Evander. “At least when we're in Adrian's presence,” she said. “I don't want him to learn those words from you. Now that you are his aunts and uncles, you have to set a good example for him.”

Simon passed Adrian to Georgie again, and Kasumi stared at him, wondering if she was going to be able to set a good example for him and what things could she teach him to do. 

Perhaps she could teach him to swim. Or to dance. Although Kasumi did not know how to dance, and the truth was that she did not think she would be able to explain why she knew how to swim. No one had ever taught her to do it; she just knew it. She wasn't quite sure how swimming worked on people who didn't have water-related powers. (Tamaya had once told her that babies could be thrown into the water and their instinct to swim would come out on their own, but Kasumi would never throw a baby as pretty as Adrian into the water.) (She would never throw a baby into the water in general though, even if the baby was ugly.)

Or maybe she could teach him to play with dolls. Several Christmases ago, the others bought her an old rag doll with their savings, which she named Aiko. Kasumi took her everywhere, pretended to share her food with her during dinner, and tucked her every night in a shoebox that she had found and now used as the doll's cradle. The others realized how much she liked her gift, so for her ninth birthday, they gave her a beautiful doll with blonde hair and a pink princess dress, named Isabella. Kasumi didn't realize how much she was playing with the new doll, until one day she was having a tea party with Hugh and Simon (because that's the kind of thing Georgie told them to do, so Kasumi wouldn’t feel alone), and Hugh asked her, very into in his role of a rich lady from the Victorian era, why Duchess Aiko hadn't attended that afternoon. Then, Kasumi remembered that she hadn't gotten her out of her bed that morning and she began to cry.

Simon immediately went over to hug her and asked Hugh to hand the doll to him, but Kasumi was so embarrassed, she didn't even want to look at her in the eyes. When Hugh tried to give her the doll, Kasumi screamed as if she had seen a rat and not her favorite toy, which made Tamaya go downstairs to see what was happening, probably thinking Hugh and Simon were bullying Kasumi into insanity or something.

Now that she thought about it, it was kind of funny to remember the face Tamaya made when she saw Kasumi screaming, clinging to her two friends with all the strength she had, and without them taking off the fake pearl necklaces and hats they had put on for the occasion. It had probably been very funny to her too because as soon as saw the scene, she called Georgie and ran away from there, with one hand over her mouth and making strange noises.

Georgie played dolls with her more often from then on. When Kasumi overcame her fear of running out of love to give her toys (and made it known to her friends as if she had learned how to drive or graduated college), Georgie bought her a third doll, which had bunny ears, a white apron, and had Mimi embroidered on her hand. Now that they had three dolls, Tamaya was able to join them during their games, but Tamaya always came up with very morbid ones, such as that the dolls were a family of poor girls who had to play the guitar to earn some money or that they were housewives of wealthy gentlemen who mistreated them, so they planned to poison them during a business dinner to keep their money. These games scandalized Georgie, but Kasumi did like them and when they started to stop playing with her, she would sit her three dolls in a circle and stare at them, fantasizing about the outcomes of those stories they had left incomplete.

Those were the kinds of things that made Kasumi think that she had a good childhood. And that wasn't something many child prodigies could say.

If Adrian turned out to be a prodigy, she wanted to be a part of those kinds of stories so when Adrian grew up and remembered how his first years were, he would be able to say that they had been good and that Kasumi had the honor of being part of them, in the same way Kasumi could say that Georgie (his mother) had done the same for her. 

Simon had told her that the place Georgie and Adrian were moving to was not too far from the house, but Kasumi wasn't so sure. 

Everything would be easier if they all stayed together.

Although she supposed that having her family separated was better than having no family.

Right?

***

Not all prodigies were lucky enough to have a home.

Kasumi, for a long time, had been one of those prodigies. Her parents abandoned her when she was a baby, and she didn't think orphanages could be considered homes. Mainly because "home" wasn't the brick structure with four walls and a roof that protected you from the heat in the summer or the freezing winds in the winter.

A home was made by the people you lived with.

And they had proved it to her.

Georgie had told her a little bit about the days she lived on the streets after escaping from her father's house and told her that while she was wandering around town, she had seen a few children (who clearly were all prodigies) looking for food in the garbage or fighting each other over a piece of blanket to cover themselves from the sun. That she, at the time, had criticized them for behaving like savages, but that now, she could only feel sorry for them because it was probably the only thing they knew and it was their way of surviving, wondering if she had ended up like that too.

Kasumi… all of them had been very fortunate to have found a home in each other.

That was why it hurt so much to close the door behind her and realize that the house felt completely empty for the first time in all her life.

The first hours being in the house alone, Kasumi tried to distract herself by embroidering. She took out a pink sweater that she had wanted to embroider daisies on for a while now and she sat in the living room. She thought about whether it would be a good idea to turn on the television, but the only thing she could watch were very tacky cartoons some cheap animation studio made about the Renegades, and she didn't have the strength to be angry at the horrible (and even offensive) way they were drawn, especially the girls, Simon, and herself, so she just tried to blank her mind and focus on the task.

Georgie had taught them to embroider and Kasumi was obsessing over it. She had already embroidered their names on all the pieces of clothing they allowed her until Hugh had to put an end to it because they simply couldn’t be giving away personal information to strange people on the streets (“Yes, Kasumi, having our names embroider on our clothes is giving personal information to strangers, I’m sorry.”). Simon also no longer let her do that whole name thing, but he did let her embroider a tiny skeleton with an arrow going through his heart on the edge of his jeans. Tamaya was the one who had more difficulty learning how to do it, but over time she kind of got the hang of it, and Georgie spent much of her pregnancy adding details to the simple onesies she bought for Adrian.

Kasumi didn’t want to brag, but she was the one who had learned to embroider the fastest. She remembered taking Evander’s old clothes to practice and even embroidered golden stars on his white pajama pants. She wasn't quite sure if he was still wearing them, but she thought they look really well, especially when she (unintentionally) compared it to the other’s work.

However, Kasumi couldn't smile right now.

She may have learned to embroider faster than them.

But she was growing up slower than them.

She was not talking about her physical appearance or things like that. Despite eating a very poor diet, Kasumi had managed to grow ... what she had to grow. She was not abnormally short and, when she got up, she did not get dizzy, like Simon (who spent a week having panic attacks every morning, thinking they were signs of early anemia). Yes, Tamaya and Georgie already looked like grown-up women, but it was because they were grown-up women. Besides that, Georgie had told her all girls were different and beautiful in their way; the important thing was that Kasumi was healthy and that she felt comfortable in her own skin. Now, Kasumi did not feel super comfortable in her own skin, but perhaps it was because she was a teenager, and as someone who had lived with teenagers before, she knew they could be deeply insecure about their body.

(Kasumi practically grew up listening to Simon crying about his body hair, Georgie complaining about how greasy her skin got when she was about to have her period, Tamaya ranting about his wings and nose, and Hugh saying that he felt he was too big and grotesque to be a real human being. She did not understand why they thought such things. She considered that if Simon grew a beard in the future it would look very good on him, Georgie had a beautiful smile, Tamaya's features reminded her of those of a goddess, and... fine, she wasn't quite sure what exactly Hugh was complaining about, but it didn’t feel right to tell him how to live his insecurities and tried to be as assuring with him as she was with the rest of her family when she heard them make those comments about themselves.)

No, what Kasumi was referring to was that they all seemed to be growing in other areas of their life.

And she did not.

Georgie was a mom now. A single mom, who had her own apartment, in a beautiful area, near a park where she would surely spend hours fooling around with her baby. Hugh and Simon were officially a couple, and they had moved in together in a seedy, filthy, smelly apartment, but they talked about it like it was their dream house or something. Lastly, even though Tamaya wasn't living with anyone in particular, she thought that moving into her own place was a big step and that it could be good for her.

And again, maybe it was because of her age, but… But Kasumi didn't see herself doing any of those things.

She couldn't imagine having kids. She perhaps could imagine herself holding someone's hand and looking at each other with the same adoration that Hugh and Simon looked at each other, but that person still did not have a face in her imagination, which according to her family, “was the most vivid imagination it had ever existed”. Much less did she see herself capable of taking her things and simply moving to another place, as if it hadn't taken her years to find a place (find people) that she could call home.

Kasumi pricked herself with the needle.

She knew they weren't abandoning her. They would continue to see each other very often, at the Headquarters or during the missions. Tamaya had assured them she would visit them constantly to make sure the house was not on fire, and the others had said similar things, hinting that they would be doing the same thing.

The backyard door opened. “Kasumi!”

But even if she knew it, even if she was aware that all those feelings of abandonment were completely irrational, her anxieties were more powerful.

“Hey, Kasumi.”

What if they found another Kasumi? What if they found someone who loved them the same way she loved them? What if their interests changed over the years? What if, after meeting new people and having new experiences, Kasumi seemed more and more replaceable over time?

“Kasumi ...”

What if Kasumi was left so far behind that she ended up getting buried by all their new memories, forgotten behind the door of an empty room, which was as dark as a starless night sky?

“Zoomie!”

She pricked herself with the needle again and realized that Evander had been talking to her.

She put her finger to her mouth and raised her eyebrows. Evander wasn’t wearing his shoes, but the edges of his pants covered in mud, hinting that he had been playing outside. He was wearing his cap. Apparently, Hugh hadn't stolen it.

Kasumi wondered where he had left it and how he had found it.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” he announced. “Or… do you wanna take a shower first?”

Kasumi shook her head; she had already showered earlier that day.

“Well—” she looked at the sweater that Kasumi was embroidering. “What are you doing?”

She took a look at the sweater; the daisies were pretty nice. However, when she looked out the window, she realized that it was already dark outside and that her eyes were getting too tired. 

“I’m… I’m going to sleep,” she replied.

Evander nodded and she headed for the basement.

***

If she believed that being in the lonely living room had been a nightmare in which her most invasive thoughts had taken complete control of her, it was because she had no idea what kind of things awaited her in the basement.

The basement. That basement where they had all slept together for so many years, and that a few days ago had seemed too small for them, but now it looked huge. 

Never in her life had she had a bed to herself. At the orphanage, she shared a bed with other girls, and when she arrived at Simon's house, the five of them took turns to sleep in the twin-sized bed. Later, when Simon's parents left the house, instead of going to sleep in one of the upstairs rooms like normal people, they brought the double bed to the basement and put them together to create a larger bed.

There was something about sharing a bed with your family. A new kind of intimacy that Kasumi never thought she would ever experience.

Because she never thought that she would ever have a family in the first place.

She had to admit that it could be awkward at times. In the summer, the basement got very humid, and Kasumi, who slept between Georgia and Tamaya, felt like she was suffocating, and during winter, it was an eternal battle for the blankets. 

There were also times when Georgia and Tamaya would talk late into the night. Kasumi didn't participate in those conversations but she did pay a lot of attention to them, turning to see the one who was talking and then turning to see the other, as if her eyes were following the sound of their voices. Although they tried to keep their tone down, they couldn't contain their giggles. One time they were so loud that Simon told them to be quiet while calling them “scandalous chickens”. Tamaya went wild over that comment and only calmed down because Simon almost burst into tears as he begged her to forgive him and assured her that he wasn't trying to make fun of her.

And, a few years later, he arrived.

“Zoomie—”

This time he didn't have to call her twice for her to hear him. “I already got out of the shower.”

Suddenly, she could see Hugh and Tamaya sitting on the bed. She was lying on her stomach and he was leaning against a pile of pillows, loudly arguing about why putting ketchup on the pizza was a crime against humanity and that Hugh should see a psychiatrist for thinking "that fucking shit" tasted good. But when they listened to what Evander said, they suddenly interrupted their discussion, and said, “Thanks for telling us— ” “ —but literally no one asked, ” before starting to yell at each other again.

If she didn't feel like she was going to cry at any moment, she probably would have laughed a little. She always laughed at Hugh and Tamaya's jokes.

“I mean… in case you wanna take a shower now.”

Simon was there too. He was pulling his pajamas and a pair of socks (that used to be white but had turned pink after finishing in the wrong batch of clothes) out of the drawers, and said, looking disapprovingly at the others, “Well, I did ask him because I do want to take a shower.”

He and Kasumi had that in common: they like to shower every day, and if they didn’t, their anxiety kicked in. 

“Or if… you know, you want to brush your teeth. I already brushed mine.”

Then Georgie walked over to them, gently took Evander by the cheeks, and said, “Let me see; blow” in the same tone she used to order him to show her the empty plate after making a dish that had lots of vegetables on it, or when she asked him to close his eyes each time they came across a particularly violent scene while they were strolling through town in their civilian clothes.

She never needed to ask her to do that. Kasumi didn’t lie about brushing her teeth, she ate all her vegetables and she did close her eyes when she saw people (not villains or heroes; people) fighting in the middle of the street without anyone having to remind her. 

In a blink, they all disappeared.

But Kasumi was still there.

And Evander too.

“I WANT THIS ONE!” he squealed before getting into the larger bed. He took one of the pillows and began rubbing his head against it. “Finally ... a bed all to myself.”

At least one of them was happy about it.

***

When Kasumi came back from brushing her teeth, put on her pajamas, and braided her hair so it wouldn’t get all tangled during the night, Evander was staring at the ceiling, completely still. He did not greet Kasumi when she entered, nor did he say anything to her when she sat on the twin-sized bed.

The beds were still together, but Kasumi felt like they had already separated them. 

Then, she remembered that they had left the blankets drying in the backyard. Terrible decision. They were going to freeze to death. 

She sighed and fumbled for something to cover herself while she went outside to get them when Evander stood up on the bed and spread with all his might a heavy (and filthy) red blanket they weren’t able to fit inside the washing machine and was left there on the floor like it was nothing. 

Kasumi felt the blanket as the warmest of hugs. It covered most of the twin-sized bed and half of the other.

“If you steal the blanket,” Evander said lying down again, “I'm going to put my cold feet on you.”

She lay down too.

She did see him capable of doing that.

Evander was capable of a lot of things.

***

When Evander arrived, one of the first things she did was ask Georgie where he was going to sleep.

Oh, because Kasumi knew they were going to keep him. They just had to. 

Georgie told her that he would sleep with the rest of them, and that was completely fine to her. At least until problems started to appear. 

To begin with, he didn't fit in the boy's bed; he and Simon would do it perfectly, but Hugh was too big and took up much of the mattress.

“You are a monstrosity of a human being,” Evander blurted out. “No offense.”

“I'd take it as a compliment,” Hugh assured.

In the double bed, they were going through a similar situation. The three of them fit, but barely, not to mention that Tamaya had to sleep in very specific a position so she wouldn’t hurt her wings. Georgie assured that she would not let anyone sleep on the floor.

So Evander ended up sleeping in the space between the two beds, one part of his body over one mattress and one part on the other.

Kasumi wondered if he had difficulties adjusting to this new lifestyle. Although he hardly spoke about what his life had been like before joining the Renegades (as he had named them), she had heard Georgie tell Tamaya about how much he kicked her during the night or that Hugh confessing to Simon that it saddened him to hear him cry for his mom during the night (“Don’t tell him I said that though.”)

Maybe it was that Evander was not used to sharing a bed with other people, and he was even less used to those people taking years to react when the two beds accidentally separated, making him fell and hit his head.

‘Cause that happened.

“Georgie… the kid fell.”

“Hey, you asshole, stop cuddling with your— friend and help him.”

“We’re preparing him for the blows life is going to throw at him.”

“Simon, darling, I'd expect that kind of comment from Hugh, but from you—”

“I think I’m bleeding…”

That was enough to make Kasumi react. She got off the bed (kicking Georgie and Tamaya in the process), helped him get up, and, after making sure he was not bleeding, dusted off his clothes and hair.

“Are you okay, Vandy?” she asked him.

Evander looked at her with teary eyes and told her he was fine. Hugh put the beds back together (after Tamaya threw a shoe at him to make him react) and Georgie cuddled with her (probably to prevent her from throwing more shoes), so he and Kasumi slept next to each other the rest of the night.

She did not quite understand what Georgie and Hugh were talking about in those conversations that she overheard them having with Tamaya and Simon. Evander didn't kick her and she didn't hear him cry.

The next night, a few hours before making their first public appearance as the Renegades, Kasumi was in the living room, playing with her dolls (or staring at them while imagining the scenarios) when Evander appeared.

“How old are you?” he asked her.

“Excuse me?”

“How old are you?” he repeated.

For some reason, Kasumi had a little trouble remembering how old she was. “I'm thirteen,” she finally answered.

Evander nodded and sat on the floor, between two of her dolls, without Kasumi inviting him. She didn't quite know how to feel about it.

“Georgie is nineteen,” she kept saying. “And Tamaya eighteen, and—”

“And Simon and Hugh are sixteen,” Evander finished. “Yes, I know. I've asked them.”

Kasumi looked down. Thanks for telling us, but literally no one asked. 

“I’m nine years old—” and he showed her nine of his fingers.

She wanted to tell him she thought he was a lot younger, but… yes, no one had asked. So she kept quiet.

The next thing Evander asked was:

“Do you like to play with dolls?”

So Kasumi smiled, and answered him:

“I love playing with dolls.”

“I never play with dolls,” Evander told her wrinkling his nose. “It’s for… girls.”

“Georgie says that all games are for girls, boys, and anyone who falls in between those,” Kasumi quoted solemnly. “Hugh and Simon played dolls with me all the time.”

Now it was Evander who looked away. “I don't think Hugh and Simon want to play with me,” he muttered.

“Why?” she asked him.

He shrugged. “It seems to me that… older kids have other things they worry about. Also, they’ve been friends since before I arrived.”

Kasumi thought that the word "friends" was not the most appropriate word to describe their relationship. Or that was what she had heard Tamaya say that afternoon, and when she was thirteen, all her opinions were opinions that other people had before, like the one about “All games are for girls, boys, and anyone who falls between those” that Georgie told her.

Speaking of them…

“Tamaya and Georgie don't want to play with me anymore,” she confessed quietly.

“Were they friends before you arrived?”

Kasumi shook her head and played with the loose thread on her skirt. “No, but I guess… people grow up. People grow up and that's it.”

Who knows if Evander understood what she meant by that. Kasumi herself didn't know what she had meant.

But Evander asked another question again.

“Can I play dolls with you, Kasumi?”

And Kasumi smiled.

Again.

“I'd loved if you played dolls with me, Evander.”

“You can call me Vandy.”

Kasumi smiled even more. “Seriously?”

“Yes, I really liked it when you called me that yesterday,” he replied. “Actually, I hadn't spoken to you all day because I was looking for an equally cool nickname to give you.”

She supposed that if he was already talking to her, that meant he had found a nickname. “And which one is it?”

Evander smiled at him too. “Zoomie.”

Zoomie was the best nickname anyone could have come up with.

It turned out that Evander was even better at imitating Victorian lady voices than Hugh and Simon. He was also not scandalized by the dramatic stories she invented, and even came up with the plot’s darkest moments. They had to be dragged to bed, and Georgie made the serious mistake of letting them sleep together again; they talked for hours until Simon asked them to be quiet with a not very family-friendly vocabulary. He even used the F-word (the same one that Hugh apparently couldn't spell). It was kind of shocking, but they let it go because it was Simon, and Simon would have done the same if it had been the other way around.

The third night they slept together, Tamaya snapped and threw her other shoe at them. In her opinion, the situation had become insufferable and others supported her. Georgie sat them at the dining room the next morning and told them that although she was very glad they were friends, she will have to go back to sleep between them because they were messing with everyone’s sleep schedule. 

It was the first time that someone addressed them as "friends." Kasumi was so happy about it that she didn’t even complain about Georgie’s decision. 

She had never had a friend just for herself.

But even after this new adjustment, Evander kept being… a mess. He kept talking before going to sleep, just that this time, his partner in crime was Hugh. At first, Kasumi thought Hugh was going to ignore him, but he genuinely seemed interested in the comic books Evander talked him about and even began reading some of them. Tamaya threw at them all the shoes they had, but not even with that she managed to shut them up, and they had to took away all the objects that could be thrown that were on her side of the bed so that she did not end up seriously hurting someone. Simon once remarked that he almost fell out of bed because Evander just moved too much, and when they hinted that he was just angry that Hugh no longer cuddled with him while he slept because he was too busy talking with Evander, he ignored them the rest of the day. Georgie kept waking up feeling her body all soar (“Evander kicks like a soccer player, I swear”), but she still was the first to comfort him when nightmares haunted him in the middle of the night.

She had never seen him like that though.

Not until now.

Kasumi felt the bed so empty that she couldn't fall asleep. Her eyes were closed, but her mind was racing, thinking about all the scenarios in which all had gone wrong and now her family (Adrian included) was being taken to the cathedral to be publicly executed by Ace Anarchy himself. She felt the other bed's mattress and the blanket moving at the same time that Evander did, while he babbled things that Kasumi couldn't understand.

At least until she felt a warm pair of her hands grip her wrists so tightly that it made her open her eyes violently and scream.

Her first instinct was to think those hands belonged to some anarchist, ready to pull her out of bed and drag her into the depths of limbo, but it didn't take her long to recognize them.

They were the same hands that played dolls with her when she was younger, that gently pulled her ponytail when she zoned out in the middle of interviews and wanted to make her react, and they were the same hands that took hers and rubbed them during cold days because he knew Kasumi didn’t like wearing gloves but her hands were still so cold that he feared they would get all frozen and fall. 

Evander was so close to her, that even in the dark, she could see that he was frowning and clenching his jaw while moving his legs as if he was trying to get away from something.

“Stop… stop, stop… stop,” he pleaded with someone who wasn't really there.

But Kasumi was there.

“Evander, Evander, it's me,” she whispered. “Evander, it's me.”

Evander kept kicking, kept running, and kept pleading.

“Stop, stop…”

“It's me, Evander,” she insisted. “Evander…”

Then, she remembered what the keyword was.

“It's me, Vandy—” she put a hand in his hair “—It's me…”

Evander progressively released her wrists, and as he did so, he opened his eyes, filled with tears and fear.

Kasumi felt her lips tremble, and she…

Understood. She understood those conversations she heard them had.  

But what she did not understand was how they did not break with him to see him like that. All trembling, teary, and…

Small. 

Really, really small. 

She really didn’t.

However, a part of her must have understood because although Kasumi felt a bump in her throat, she did not shed a single tear. Not even when he, with a voice more broken than she had ever heard came out of him, whispered:

“Zoomie?”

She didn't stop stroking his hair. “I heard you talking in your sleep.”

“Zoomie—“ he put a hand on her cheek “—Zoomie, I had a bad dream.”

She was not surprised.

Kasumi put her free hand over his. “Do you wanna tell me about it?”

She had always been told that sharing dreams, especially unpleasant ones, could help. Kasumi was very lucky that most of her dreams were pretty ones, like days at the beach, swimming with dolphins, or romantic boat rides because she dreamed pretty often. Simon also dreamed a lot, but they were more nightmares than anything else, like when he dreamed that a couple dressed in black came to the house and wanted to take him out of the city, speaking in a language he did not understand and calling him “Simón” instead of “Simon”. The others did not dream as often as they did, but Georgie once dreamed that she crashed into a plane while flying and the plane exploded with a lot of people inside, Tamaya that some goats chewed the feathers of his wings, and there was a time when Hugh claimed to have constant nightmares about everyone in the house dying of a mysterious illness and school recitals (“... and I've never even been to a school recital!”)

She knew all that because many times they had come to her and to tell her, “Kasumi, I just had a horrible nightmare and I hope you can give me tell what it means.”

Maybe if Evander told her what his dream was about, she could help him.

However, Evander told her that he didn't feel like talking about it.

Kasumi got it. After all, it was the first time she woke him up from a nightmare. 

Nightmares could be very private.

“It's okay ... will you ... will you let me rub your back, then?” she asked him. 

He nodded very slowly and Kasumi moved closer to him, to the point that they both were practically over the space between the two beds. She had half of her body on one mattress, and him in the other.

Kasumi had war flashbacks, and Evander too.

“This are the blows Simon told me life will throw at me,” he stammered with a sniffle.

Kasumi gave a soft laugh and started rubbing his back. She discreetly smelt his hair. “Your hair is really soft after you wash it.”

“Thank you.”

“You should probably do it more often...”

Evander didn't respond.

He just burst into tears.

“You aren't gonna leave me, are you?” he asked her.

“What?”

Evander tried to wipe the tears away with the blanket, but that only made him cry even louder and his sentences get more incomprehensible. 

“Like— you ...” he sobbed, “you aren't gonna leave me like the rest of them, right?”

Immediately, Kasumi knew who he was referring to and her heart shrunk as her brain was able to process what he had said.

“They didn’t leave us,” she replied, brushing his hair behind his ears, “they just—”

“Grew up.”

Kasumi got chills. His tone had felt so cold and distant for a moment. “Yeah. That’s kind of how life is.”

Instinctively, the two of them pressed their foreheads against each other, and Kasumi noticed that Evander was sweating, but she was not disgusted by any means.

She was just deeply concerned about him.

“You're getting older,” Evander whispered. “You're probably not gonna like me in a couple of years.”

She already had the answer for that on the tip of her tongue. But she remembered all her insecurities and she stopped being so sure if she would be telling the truth if she were to answer him at that moment. 

And she would never lie to him on purpose.

So although Kasumi did not like to imagine how her life would be in the future, she tried to do so, only to confirm her idea.

She imagined herself as an adult. A little more confident, powerful, and, God willing, a little taller. She envisioned a future in which none of her family members would forget her and she could become part of Adrian's childhood memories. She would help Georgie to take care of him so that she could spend time by herself because only God knew how much that woman needed time for herself. Tamaya would introduce them to the young man she had talked about so much lately, the doctor who helped her heal when her wing got hurt and he would be as nice as she had promised. She was even able to see herself being a bridesmaid at Hugh and Simon's wedding when they finally made her relationship public and reminded the whole world that it was still possible to love in a city that seemed so full of hate.

She could imagine her future, but she couldn't imagine herself not being friends with Evander.

Kasumi would never be able to take her things and move to another place where he was not part of it. Because Kasumi would never voluntarily leave her home.

And Evander had been her home since the first moment he walked through that door.

“Don’t be silly. I'll always like you,” she assured him, stroking his hair again. “And most importantly... I will always be here for you.” And unintentionally, she added, “Even when you grow up, and you do not like me anymore.”

Evander pulled away slightly from her and stared into her eyes for a long time. She thought maybe that's how she looked when she was imagining something too.

Only... with a less puffy face. 

“I'm always gonna be there for you too,” he replied. “And I’ll always like you, and I’ll always love you. You know that, right?”

Kasumi didn't know how to answer.

She… she didn’t.

Like— she knew he liked her, but she didn’t think he loved her.

It was a nice thing to hear.

“No,” she mumbled, brushing off the tears that rolled down his face with her thumb. “But ... thank you.”

Then, Evander was able to regain his composure and rubbed his hands all over his face tightly as if he was trying to wipe the tears out of his eyes. Kasumi took that opportunity to change her position and allow him to put his head on her chest.

“When I'm rich and famous, I'll buy you a house,” Evander told her, trying to hide the nasal voice that had remained after crying as hard as he just did. “It will be near my mansion.”

Kasumi pinched his cheek. “So you get a mansion and I get a house. How nice of you.”

“I know” he replied with a proud smile.

The audacity.

But that was not the time.

She took the tip of the blanket. It almost fell from the bed during the attack.  

“Come on ...” she whispered, covering him up to his chin. “Go back to sleep.”

“Are you going back to sleep too?”

“Yes,” she lied to him.

But as Evander immediately knew he was lying, it didn't count as a lie at all.

“Liar,” he laughed. “Don’t be silly. I wanna stay up with you too.”

Kasumi didn't find a reason why she wouldn't let him.

After all, there was no one to throw shoes at them or to shut them up unkindly anymore. There wasn't even someone who would leave them on the floor if they fell out of bed or who would come between them anymore because they all thought putting them together was going to cause the apocalypse or something.

It hurt a little bit to think about that, but at the same time, it hurt less than before.

“Did I tell you I found my cap?”

Kasumi remembered the entire cap fight. “No, but I noticed.”

“Do you wanna know where it was, Zoomie?”

“Where was your cap, Vandy?”

Evander not only told her about how he had found his cap; he also talked to her about her whole day in detail and made jokes that made Kasumi laugh out loud and her eyes itch. 

She didn’t know if it was because she had been holding back her tears for so long, or if it was because it was during the night when one could see the stars, and Evander was pure light in those very moments.

The next morning, when they saw the others again at the Headquarters, Kasumi no longer felt abandoned, or as she was going to fuse with the darkness of that empty room where they supposedly left her because there was no room to begin with. But even if that did happen, and she ended up becoming one with the night sky, she knew that she was going to at least have one star to shine on her and assure her that neither of them would ever truly be alone if they had each other.  

[fallen029]

About Life: Prologue

Laxus had always liked Mirajane.

In a, "Hey, we're both super strong and should just stay the hell away from one another," kinda way. Not to say he didn't tease her at times, back before her sister...but Laxus teased everyone. And when Lisanna did die, he certainly left her alone, for a good gestation period of, what? A year?

Still, random ribbing was nothing compared to the torment he saw fit to inflict on many others throughout the course of his rebellious teen years. A lot of this had to do with Mira's apparent understanding of their arrangement. She had her little bitch fest of a hate/hate more relationship with Erza and, therefore, saw Laxus of little interest.

Perhaps, even, she feared him a bit, if only because of his size over her and the other children in the hall's obvious weary attitudes towards the nearly grown man. He was much bigger than Mirajane and though her power was growing at an exponential rate back in those days, he still seemed far more imposing.

Their interactions were limited and fleeting and it was best kept that way.

It wasn't until his excommunication and subsequent return that Laxus really gave her any real consideration. And even then, it was merely because he felt...happy for her. Honestly. The second he saw Lisanna there, stupid little Lisanna, all grown up, he didn't know...what had happened, but he knew it was something. And fine, he wasn't much one for emotions or caring about others, but he did understand loss.

Damn, if Laxus' didn't understand loss.

And if he could get back even just one of the family members that had been taken from him…

To see it happen to someone else, someone so deserving, that took care of the only member of said family still living for him while he was out finding himself, made Laxus feel…

Good.

Seeing Mirajane get a second chance with Lisanna made Laxus feel good.

She was happy to see him too, of course, find his own happiness. Perhaps not in what he'd always coveted, but in other ways. If Erza was the keeper of the troops, Mirajane was very good at holding things down at home base. Considering their home base was a bar, she got to see the members interact in many instances. It was drastic, really, the way Laxus went from sitting up on his lonely upper deck of the hall to actually having a beer or two with them, in that tiny one they were using before being gifted back their guildhall by the township Magnolia.

They'd both matured, perhaps her a bit before he, but was that not typical of boys and girls? They'd watched one another shed their hawkish behaviors for more suitable attributes that the elders of a guild should have. The temporary truce of their youth had blossomed ever slowly into an intense respect both held for one another.

Laxus saw Mirajane as a worthy member of the guildhall and she'd seen him grow into a fine gentleman, poised to perhaps one day lead said guildhall.

With that being said, the familiarity with one another was hardly mistaken as friendship. Perhaps more than affable but certainly nothing verging on two people who truly knew one another. Occasionally, when he'd see her around the hall or Magnolia, it'd hit Laxus that the two them, why, out of everyone, they could have truly friends, back in the day. Her damaged persona would have meshed so well with the one he sported that it was almost a shame, really, that those years had been wasted in contempt rather than camaraderie.

But life was busy and, truly, neither was at a loss for company. Atop her siblings, Mirajane was considered by many the friendliest of the Fairy Tail 'inner circle' while Laxus was no longer just the devotion sought by the Thunder Legion, but truly closer to their big brother then more than ever.

There was no need, honestly, for Raijin and Satan to converse outside of the typical guild garb.

Which is why it shocked him so much when Mirajane approached him one day at the hall. He had it poised on his tongue, to tell her that he didn't require a refill, he'd be heading out soon enough, that she shocked him when she asked something else entirely.

"Hey, Laxus, can you stick around after closing? I need to talk to you about something pretty important."

This shocked the slayer into silence as Mirajane only filled his beer up with the pitcher in her hand without asking, and picked up the empty plate in front of Freed, who was seated with him, not even waiting for an answer. She'd spoken so fast and it was so noisy in the place that Laxus was almost convinced that he'd misheard her, but there was no way that Freed felt the same.

"Why," he asked as Laxus only blinked, "would Mirajane wish to speak with you? And about what?"

"Dunno," the slayer muttered as his eyes followed the mage as she made her way across the hall, far away from him. Scampering off, honestly. "I haven't even spoken to Mira outside of ordering drinks in… Fuck, has it been a year?"

"I speak with her, occasionally," Freed remarked, glancing after her also. "Perhaps she's confusing you with me."

"I highly doubt," Laxus grumbled as, slowly, he moved to take a sip from the beer he hadn't honestly even wanted refilled, "that anyone has ever made that mistake."

Freed coughed a bit uncomfortably before looking off and agreeing, "Yes, of course, Laxus. Forgive me."

But he was hardly listening to the other man then as he continued to ponder just what waiting around for closing would get him.

Because he definitely was doing it.

What sorta choice did he have? She hardly even gave him one, just walking away like that.

The evening was fast approaching though and Laxus had nothing to do, truly, that night, so it wasn't really a true inconvenience. Plus, though he'd never let on, Laxus interest was piqued. Mirajane wasn't one to ask for help often and certainly not from someone she hardly considered a friend.

"I could stay with you," Freed offered to the man, as the time grew closer. "If you wish."

"Why would I wish that? What? You think the woman's gonna jump me or something?"

"N-No, but-"

"She probably just has some sort of late night delivery coming," the man remarked. "Needs some help lifting them."

"But wouldn't ask her brother because-"

"Damn, Freed, I don't know. I'm just thinking."

"R-Right, sorry."

It took a bit for the place to clear out and Mirajane came up to him to request they wait until then to speak.

Kinana was still around, cleaning up around the bar area, when Mirajane came and drug Laxus off to the enclosed pool where they could speak in private.

"So," Laxus said slowly as they stood there, only the sounds of the pool's filters and drains making any noise, "what exactly is it that you-"

"Do you ever come to the pool?" Mira, who had been facing him, turned then and began to walk around the perimeter of it slowly. Laxus didn't move to follow. "I don't ever see you in it."

"Not my thing," he said simply. "What was it that you-"

"Not mine either. I guess when you have to clean it all the time, you kinda don't wanna get in it, you know?"

"Don't shit where you eat."

"What?"

"Mira, what did you want from me?"

She was still walking the length of the pool and glanced over her shoulder at him, their eyes locking across the tile flooring before, with a breath, she looked forward again.

"You know we're getting older, right, Laxus?"

"Older?" He snorted, not even considering what she could possibly be speaking on. "I'm in my prime."

"Don't you turn thirty in a couple of months?"

"Prime."

"And without Master Mavis freezing time that time-"

"What do you want, Mirajane?"

"I just...I don't care, you know? If I'm a barmaid for the rest of forever."

He'd taken to crossing his arms, when she began picking at his age, but let out a slight breath when she said this.

"Do you think I...what? Said something about it? As if you did or something? Because I didn't, if that's what you think. I don't care if you're a...barmaid or what you are-"

"Thanks, but I really didn't care about what you thought about the situation."

"Then-"

"I just… Can you just listen? Like quietly?"

"You make me wait hours past when I wanted to leave to have a conversation you won't key me in on what's about, but-"

"Please, Laxus."

His eyes rolled quite heavily, but Mirajane only waited for his slight grumbles to die down before speaking again. By that point, she was coming back towards him, on her journey around the pool, and he stared straight at her face.

"I just always thought that I'd, you know, have, like, already started my life by now."

"You're only, what? Twenty something? You-"

"You'd say you'd be quiet."

Actually, he didn't say anything, but whatever.

"My parents died, you know? Super young. After working their entire lives, just so that they could have me and my brother and sister. And I don't… I always thought I'd have tons of kids by now."

"Tons?"

"One or two. Three."

"Huh."

"At least, like, a steady boyfriend or something, you know? But I always end up dating guys that aren't, you know, into that. And that's fine, I don't care, but-"

"M-Mirajane," he muttered, scratching at the back of his neck as he finally looked away from her. "Why are you telling me all this? Because, not to be rude or whatever, but I really...don't give a shit. I can try to, I guess, but this is-"

"I wanna ask you something."

"To what? Hook you up with guys or something? Because, I don't know if you noticed, but assholes kinda attract assholes."

"What?"

"So," he kept right up, "you should ask someone else and just-"

"That's not even what I'm asking."

"Then what are you asking?"

She'd made it back to him then and, apparently, the walk around the pool at eased her nerves a bit, as she stood directly in front of him, her deep blues locking with his dark irises.

"Laxus, this is really personal and serious and if you don't want to, fine, but please don't go around and tell people that I asked-"

"What?" He was growing annoyed. "Mira? It's late."

"I know, but..."

"Just spit it out."

It was silent though, the pool still making all of its noises, as well as the sound of Kinana calling out to Mirajane that she'd closed out the register and was heading home; she'd see her in the morning. The loud, reverberating bang of the thick, wooden doors at the entrance to the hall as the other barmaid finally escaped the guild for the day.

Mirajane's eyes shut and she took a deep breath while Laxus only continued to stare, watching, waiting.

Wondering if maybe the woman had taken him out to the pool to do some sort of surprise attack and murder him and Freed had been right.

Then, eyes opening slowly, Mirajane whispered, "I wanted to know if you'd be the father of my baby."

And that's how Laxus found out that you should never, ever be nice to other people.

Ever.

They might not kill you when you least expect it, but they'll definitely try to get you to have a heart attack.

"Laxus, are you okay?"

Or cause you to faint.

Heh.

Next Chapter

FF