#and then realise “oh hang on this isn't for me because i don't actually support basic human rights”

[snoweylily]

sooo… you just don't know that modern-day fanfiction was invented by a woman during the 1960s so she could ship a gay couple, huh?

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Let our lips lock, baby - K.MG

💋Who; Kim Mingyu (Seventeen) x female reader 💋What; Friends to lovers smut. Fluff. They are in LOVE okay. Birthday boy Gyu <3 💋Wordcount; 9.8k 💋Warnings; Profanity. Pet names from them both(baby/sweetheart). A single solitary thigh spank. Oral(female receiving). Gyu gets a little posessive over reader for a second but it's more amusing than anything. I don't think there's actually anything specific that needs to be mentioned? But do let me know. They're on very equal grounds throughout this entire story and I love that for them <3

Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.

Summary; The intention is to sneak into Mingyu's apartment(get let in by Wonwoo) and set up banners and balloons ready for when he wakes. And then you'll cook him a meal like he's been asking for and give him his birthday gift. You don't really have a plan for what happens after that, you assume you'll just hang out, you really don't expect a confession and to wind up in his bed.

Ao3 Link -2024 Masterlist-

A/N- The biggest juiciest thank you ever goes to @sluttywoozi for being so supportive as I wrote this! If it wasn't for you, sweetheart, this would just be soft hours, not sorny hours 💖💖💖 And just the svthub members in general for being actual sweethearts like wtf pls save some sweet for the rest of the world okay <3

ps. scroll to the very bottom to see a very serious birthday edit I made of Mingyu instead of writing this :))

🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈

Honestly, it's a little worrying just how easy it is to sneak around the apartment without detection. You had known that Mingyu is a heavy sleeper for quite a while now but it still concerns you that you literally managed to enter his room, tidy the little mess and set up decorations all while he slept obliviously in his bed with his mouth wide open in a sign of good sleep. Still, it makes everything all that much easier.

"Ohmygod, hyung!" The thrilled gasp edged with a just-awake roughness, alerts you to the fact that Mingyu has finally woken and spotted the decorations in his room. A few seconds later, he is stumbling through the apartment in search of his flatmate but instead finds you in the kitchen. "Oh, you're not hyung." He mutters dumbly, eyes wide. Yours are too but mostly because he is in rather skimpy little boxers and nothing else.

"I'm not," You confirm, staring without blinking at the extensive beautiful skin exposed to your eyes. Not that you have never seen Mingyu topless before, or even in shorts, but this is something else entirely that you have only dreamed of until now.

And then Mingyu realises what he is wearing, or more specifically what he isn't wearing and squeaks before rushing off with an embarrassed blush burning up his neck and cheeks.

When Mingyu returns ten minutes later, he is freshly showered and fully dressed, much to your disappointment. But at least he isn't just in sweatpants and a hoodie like you had expected; he's pulled on his nice jeans and a crisp plain black t-shirt that clings to his torso and is perhaps more devastating than seeing him bare. At least when he was bare it was less like being teased with something just out of sight. Either way, he is out of reach in every way.

The outfit choice makes you tilt your head a little in puzzlement. "You put on your date outfit." You comment, knowing that the jeans and t-shirt combo is a very common choice for Mingyu when he's going on a casual date with someone.

"You look nice, I thought I should too," Is his simple response as he shrugs and walks over to put his arms around your waist from behind and finally greet you as you usually greet one another; with a hug that is perhaps a little too lingering for the nothing-more-than-friends status you both claim to have. Which is true, nothing has ever happened between you two that passes platonic; it's just the fact that you want it to and if your mutual friends can be trusted, so does Mingyu.

"You said you like this dress," You inform, turning back to the food that you are working on. "And regularly complain that I never make an effort when I hang out with you. Seeing as it's a special occasion, I figured I should grant your wish, birthday boy." You tease and feel him grin happily against your neck where he is still tucked down into like he favours. It always amazes you how such a giant man will shrink down for extended periods just to give affection to those he cares about. "Go sit at the table, this'll be ready soon. Your breakfast, my lunch." You muse, pointing out that it is already almost 1 pm, but you had honestly expected as much. Mingyu is notorious amongst your friends for sleeping into the afternoon on days when he doesn't have to get up. And he always takes his birthday off to allow that luxury.

"Ah, you finally agreed to cook for me." He coos and squeezes you happily before letting his arms unwind, hands sliding over your waist in a way that has you suppressing a shiver. Either he doesn't notice your little shaky inhale or simply chooses to ignore it as he relocates over to the dining table.

"I asked what you wanted for your birthday, you said you wanted me to cook for you." You remind, glancing over as he gasps and picks up the little ribbon-wrapped box on the tabletop while he sits down.

"Is this for me too?" He looks over at you with big eyes full of innocent excitement. He's so fucking cute that it is honestly a giant problem for your ability to keep a level heartbeat.

"Mm, of course, do you see another Mingyu here?" You raise an eyebrow, and then he notices the tag with his name on and giggles embarassedly. "Happy birthday, Gyu."

"Thank you," He breathes out, looking at you fondly for a few long seconds and then turns down to the box. "Can I open it now?"

"Whenever you want, it's yours." You confirm, turning off the heat to dish up the food onto two plates.

"Ah, after food." He decides, putting down the box to jump up with every intention of helping you; though you tut disapprovingly causing him to lower back to his seat like a scolded puppy.

"It's your birthday, let me dote on you."

"You dote on me anyway." He pouts slightly as you carry the plates over to put on the already cutely laid table, down to a little vase with fresh flowers in it. Mingyu has obviously noticed them and knows they're from you, Wonwoo wouldn't buy flowers for their apartment after all, but Mingyu does not have the mental capacity to point them out. It's too much for his poor smitten heart to handle after waking up to birthday balloons and banners, and then seeing you looking so beautiful cooking in his kitchen domestically. If he's forced to voice anything in regard to the appearance of his favourite flowers, he is pretty sure he'll do something stupid like confess his undying love for you and ask you to never leave.

"Yes, and you do it too, but today is about you, birthday boy." You retort and make a move to sit down. Mingyu is on his feet before your ass even touches the chair, just so that he can tuck you in like he always does. You let him have this one and just roll your eyes at his inability to not take care of you, even on a day entirely about him.

Soon Mingyu is making happy sounds in his seat on your adjacent left as he thoroughly enjoys every mouthful of food. As much as Mingyu is a foodie and savours his food in general, he still tends to practically inhale whatever is in front of him when he hasn't eaten in a while, but he is genuinely taking his time to absorb every flavour and texture of this meal. It makes your heart flutter to see the genuine appreciation he has for what you cooked for him.

It occurs to you as you take a photo of him enjoying his food to send to the group chat, that the scene very much looks like a date. Your friends all know what Mingyu tends to wear for dates and if they know your own outfit of the day- which Wonwoo at least does- then they will also know that it's one of your own date looks. You stare at your screen for a second then lock the device as you decide against sending them anything despite having agreed to send update pictures. You had already sent photos of the decorations in Mingyu's room though so that will be enough, right? You know that it most certainly is not enough where your nosey friends are concerned. Still, ignorance is bliss.

For the first time perhaps ever, you finish eating before Mingyu so just sit back and watch him contently. He knows that you're watching him and keeps grinning closed-lipped at you, not at all bothered by your attention. He isn't a hypocrite, he has watched you eat his own cooking in such a way many times before and will continue to do so. Mingyu knows exactly how wonderful it feels to witness anybody enjoying your own cooking, especially those you care about. And Mingyu knows that you care about him an awful lot, he is just kind of in denial that the care had long ago stretched way past platonic territory.

As soon as Mingyu puts his cutlery down on his empty plate, you jump up to take the dishes away making him whine. "I was about to do that!" He complains, pouting at you, his left hand wrapped around his glass of water that he barely managed to touch before you dart away with the dirty dishes and distract him from his drink.

"No, you weren't, birthday boy." You sing-song, rinsing off the dishes already to put in the dishwasher ready for later in the day when it will be full enough to warrant being turned on.

"Are you really going to do everything for me today?"

"Yep, whatever you want, I'm at your disposal, Gyu."

"Whatever I want?" He mumbles, more to himself than you, which is good because you don't hear his voice over the gentle clatter of dishes being placed into the dishwasher. All he can think about is getting the one thing he has wanted almost since the very day he first laid his eyes on you. Your lips. Your hands. Your body. You in your entirety. You by his side always so that he doesn't have to face the ache of watching you walk away ever again. But he can't ask for that, not even on his birthday.

After washing your hands, you return to your place at the table and lean onto your elbows on the tabletop. You don't notice the way the position accentuates your cleavage but Mingyu certainly does. It takes everything in him to not look down at your chest. "Are you going to open your gift now?" You prompt, nodding towards the little box.

"Oh, yeah!" He perks up and reaches out for it. "Though you really didn't have to get me anything, you already cooked for me and that's the best gift I've ever received."

"Don't be ridiculous, Gyu, it was just a meal. Not even a particularly exciting one either, you regularly cook much more extravagant meals for me." You pout a little, feeling guilty about the meal you made for him. You had spent weeks trying to come up with something special to cook for him; you had even made a secret groupchat with some of your friend group who you thought would be helpful and not just ignore the chat, to send recipes and ask opinions. It had actually been Seokmin in the end who had not quite snapped but got fed up with your consistent worries over the planned meal and told you that Mingyu wouldn't give a single fuck what you cooked, he just cared that you cooked it. Seeing Seokmin speak up like that made you finally listen to the reason the entire chat had been trying to talk into you, so you stopped looking for something fancy and just cooked something you are confident in already.

"It's not about that," Mingyu speaks, looking at you earnestly. "It's about the act itself; cooking something for me no matter what it is, shows you care. That's what I care about, not the meal itself. Though it was delicious and I really hope you cook it for me again." His smile turns cheeky by the end making you let out a soft laugh.

"Mm, just say when." You agree, smiling when his whole face lights up. You playfully scrunch your nose at him. He returns it without hesitation.

A moment passes between you, not a new moment but one you have both felt many times; a moment with something meaningful floating in the air between you. But as per usual, neither of you are brave enough to reach out and capture it.

At the same time, you both look down at the box still in his hands to redirect your attention to something that doesn't feel quite so big in your chests. Carefully, Mingyu pulls on the ribbon to untie the bow that you had spent a good half an hour trying to perfect that morning so that he can then pluck the lid free. After moving aside the tissue paper Mingyu's eyes land on the jewellery within. His expression melts along with his posture. With a cautious hand, he reaches out to touch one of the silver chains.

"I hope they're what you wanted; you were very vague when you said matching bracelets. I don't know who you intend to wear them with, but I hope you both like them. And that the design isn't entirely opposite to your intention." You worry a little at the end, your own gaze settling on the little double hearts on each somewhat dainty chain. Jeonghan had given you a look as if you were crazy when you had shown them to him last week; he insisted that Mingyu would break the chain within the first day of wearing it. But you know they are much more resilient than they look after extensive testing on them both. You are confident that even Mingyu's accident-prone self won't destroy the chains, yet even if he does, you'll just buy him more. Any many as he wants. So long as he's happy, you'll buy him anything his heart desires. "I just know you like love heart designs and everything else didn't really suit you in my mind."

"They're beautiful." He breathes out then scoots closer to you and holds his left arm out over the table top. "Put it on me, please?"

"Sure," You agree even if you're confused about why he isn't waiting until he gives the matching one to whoever his intended recipient is. Still, you pluck one of the bracelets from its secure seat in the box to wind it around his wrist and clasp it in place. Your fingers trace over the chain and his skin for a second before you start to pull back. But Mingyu quickly, though gently, grasps your right hand to tug it closer to him. "Gyu," You murmur with widened eyes when he pulls the remaining chain from the box. "Gyu, I didn't buy it with this intention." You explain rapidly, worried that he thinks that you expect him to give the other to you purely because you had purchased the matching pair.

"I asked for it with this intention." He admits eyes focused on the chain he ties around your wrist. "Why do you think I asked you to get me matching bracelets if not to share with you?"

"I don't know. I've bought you stuff to match with the guys before."

"Mm, true," He agrees and looks up at you though his fingers remain on your wrist tenderly. "But I wanted these for us; something I can wear every day and have a reminder of you, so I can look down and feel better because I'll be thinking of you."

"Gyu…" You breathe out. His words hold a lot more weight than anything the pair of you dare to utter to one another; like he has finally reached out and caught onto that thing between you and now he is offering you the chance to reach back out. But you don't know what to say, how to reach out without risking the weight of his words not being what you hope.

He stares at you for a moment, lip between his teeth as he chews on it a little with nerves filling his chest. He's already said it, there isn't any going back now. So he decides that if he can't go back, he should keep going forward and take that leap that he truly hopes with everything in him will end in your open arms. "You said whatever I want, right?" He recalls. It takes you a second to understand what exactly he means but then you nod. "Well, I have something that I've wanted for a really long time, something only you can give me. But I don't want you to give it to me just because I asked and it's my birthday. Okay?"

"Uh, okay?" You reply, confused yet very hopeful that whatever his request is, it will be enough that if you reach out, your hand will find his own doing the same. "What is it?"

"Will you kiss me?" Your eyebrows lift in surprise as your heart races in your chest. "And not…not just because kissing is nice and you haven't kissed anyone in a while so you're happy to kiss for that reason." You don't even care that he has bluntly mentioned your lack of any kind of action in the past months. "But because you want to kiss me and not because I'm one of your closest friends or just for a sexual thing but because you like me and want me the way that I want you."

Your voice is barely a whisper when you respond. "And how do you want me?"

"By my side from now until forever as mine, and me as yours entirely."

"Really?" Your voice is choked and there are tears in your eyes from his sincere words.

Mingyu's own eyes look as if they are gathering tears too. Though his aren't wet just because of the rapidly growing cloud of something between you with his hands deep inside as he tries to direct it to your own touch. He's fucking petrified that he is ruining everything between you yet he hadn't been able to stop talking and let his truth flow free. He will never forgive himself if his honesty pushes you away; he'd rather have you as nothing more than a friend than not at all, so long as you're still such a big part of his life.

"Yeah, I-I'm kind of really in love with you," He admits with a weak chuckle. He tries to lighten the mood with a smile but it's much too shaky to do the job.

Luckily though, you don't notice, you're already darting forward to lean over the table and kiss him utterly overwhelmed by his confession and the swell of your heart to have the mentality to voice anything in response. You hope your lips against his will suffice until you have your full faculties back.

For a handful of seconds, Mingyu remains frozen solid in his seat, eyes wide on your own closed ones closer to his face than you have ever been before. He had hoped you'd react positively, but he hadn't dared to expect it. The hope itself had seemed like a dream. So it takes him a few seconds to fully register that you have just fucking kissed him despite all he said. You two have such a solid mutual respect for one another that he knows that you will never play with his emotions in any way. It's that mental reminder that has him jerking back to reality. His hands fly up to cup your face as his eyes close and he finally kisses you back with a soft groan.

Considering that the kiss had been rather one-sided for its start, it isn't a sweet kiss by any means. It's passionate from the first second that his lips press back against yours; both of you are full of so much emotion for one another for so long that it's being released all at once.

You hadn't intended to get carried away in the way Mingyu's tongue caresses your own or how he regularly lets out little low sounds from the back of his throat to show how pleased he is by the way that your mouths move with this same pure need for one another, but you do.

Only when you find yourself on his lap, table edge pressing into your lower back and his erection grinding up between your spread legs, do you actually recall that you hadn't meant to do more than just kiss the man until you gain your mental clarity back. Not that you do gain your mental clarity back but you've both pulled apart to desperately refill your lungs even without stopping your hips moving against each other.

"Gyu," You manage, holding his face firmly and looking into his heavy gaze. He licks his lips but doesn't respond verbally. He's at least staring at you intently enough that you know he will hear you even over the lust thick in his veins. "I'm in love with you too."

All at once, Mingyu falls still and blinks at you in dumb surprise. He hadn't expected you to say as much; even if you do feel the same way, he thought your return confession would come later. You know, after he's fucked you until you can't walk without thinking of his cock every single step. "You are?" He asks, not because he thinks you'd lie, but just because his blood is not circulating around his brain enough for him to have the ability to decipher if it's just a horny hallucination fuelled by his own love for you.

"Yeah, have been for a while."

"Oh." Another few empty blinks at you before he beams and wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace. "I love you so so so so so much, sweetheart. You'll be mine, right?" He leans back to look at you with big eyes full of love and a hint of pleading.

"Yeah, yeah, of course." You agree, beaming right back at him with your arms around his neck. "For as long as you want me."

"How does forever sound?" Mingyu offers with a cheeky smile.

You take a moment to just admire him, admire the man who owns your entire heart and soul. "I'm not sure it's long enough." You will happily dedicate an eternity to loving Kim Mingyu but even then, you aren't sure that it's long enough in comparison to the devotion he deserves.

"But it's a start."

"It's a start." You agree with a single nod. He smiles adoringly at you then lifts one hand from around you to cup your cheek tenderly and leads you into a kiss. This one isn't like the other, there's no lust in this, even if it still burns in your very blood and clearly in his too based on the bulge still pressing against you. All the kiss contains is pure unfiltered love, and you hope to have many more like it in your future together. And you're positive that it is going to be a long and happy future.

The longer the kiss goes on, the more the lust trickles back in. Soon enough, you're grinding against each other looking for friction and to feel one another closer.

"Baby," Mingyu pants out, gripping your hips tight to force you to a stop. You pout at him confused and rather offended. "There's something else I want. For my birthday."

"If it's to fuck me, you have my very enthusiastic consent." You reply immediately and try to move back in to reunite your lips but he holds you still making you whine. "Gyu,"

"No, it's not. Well, I mean I do want to fuck you, a lot but that's not what's on my mind right now." You pointedly look down at the borderline obscene bulge in his jeans then back up at him. He giggles a little, kind of shy and very out of place but so fucking cute that you can't help but smile in return.

"Okay, what do you want, birthday boy?" You coo, brushing your fingers through his hair.

"To eat you out." You raise an eyebrow at him. You thought he'd ask for a blow job if anything, not for him to go down on you. Not that you're against that at all. "Can I?"

"Mm, sure, baby, whatever you want." You agree. He grins then abruptly hoists you up onto the table making you yelp in alarm at being manhandled out of the blue. Once again, not that you're against that at all.

"I've wanted to get my mouth on you for so long," He admits breathlessly as he watches his hands smooth up your spread thighs in front of him. "Thought about how you'd taste, dreamed about it." He slowly pushes the skirt of your dress up and up and up until it's bunched at the crease between your thighs and hips.

You watch him stare at the seat of your panties for a moment, his fingers pressing into your thighs and mouth open. "For someone who's wanted this for so long, you're taking your time getting to it, baby." You tease, tapping his chin causing him to snap his mouth shut embarrassedly while flicking his eyes up to you.

"Shut up, I'm overwhelmed," He mumbles, tilting his head towards your hand so that you cup his cheek. Your thumb brushes over his lips so he presses a kiss to it without thought.

"Overwhelmed in a good way?"

"The best way," Mingyu confirms, nodding in your hold. "I just found out that you love me and now I get to touch and taste you. It's a lot, I'm not sure I've even absorbed that you love me yet."

"Will it help if I say it again?" You tease, leaning down towards his face. He straightens as you lower as if drawn to you without him even needing to consciously move his body. You have only just come together but already, it's so natural to you both.

"Only one way to find out."

Instead of saying the words, you press your lips to his. You kiss him softly, slowly in a way that makes his breath hitch and his fingers tremble a little against your skin. With just a hint of sweetness. "I love you, Mingyu, more than I can put into words."

"I can't either." He agrees and brushes his nose against yours softly before pressing a flutter of a kiss to your cheek, and then another a little lower. "I'm not good with words," Another kiss below the last. "I never have been," He continues to speak in between creating a trail of his lips over your jaw and down onto your neck, trying his utmost to carve a path of his love into your skin in hopes of it reaching your very centre and finding a home there. "And I'll spend my whole fucking life trying to find them for you." His lips are at your collarbones by now with little flashes of his tongue to taste every inch of you he can. It sends your stomach both fluttering and burning. "But for now, let me try and show you instead." He pulls his mouth from you to stand up and hover over you with both of his hands finding your face to direct your gaze up into his own.

You nod a little in agreement. "Show me, Gyu." You encourage on a whisper before his lips are back on yours, tongue sliding into your mouth as he encourages you to lay back against the tabletop without once breaking the kiss.

And then in true Mingyu fashion, once you are flat against the wood and he reaches up to prop himself up over you, he knocks over the vase of flowers.

He shrieks and flails to try and catch them but the vase topples over, spilling water out over the wood and thanks to his failed correction, in your direction. You just stare dumbly at him. It all happened so fast. One second you're making out with your boyfriend and the next, you're soaked and not in the ideal area. Luckily, it actually isn't an awful lot of water but having it over half of your face and chest really is not enjoyable in any way.

"Ohmygod, I am so sorry, baby," Mingyu rushes out when he looks at you instead of the mess of stems and petals over the table amongst the water. "I didn't mean to get you wet!" You raise an eyebrow with a suggestive grin. Instantly, his worry goes and he laughs. "This is the wrong kind of wet." He muses and plonks the vase down so that he can wrap his arms around you and pull you upright against his chest. "Will you be upset if I ignore the flowers you bought me to take you to bed and make you wet in the other way?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"I think I'd be more upset if you focused on the flowers."

"Good." Mingyu lowers just enough to get your thighs up around his waist and his hands under them securely before lifting. "Always wanted to pick you up." He admits off-handedly as he traipses through the apartment.

"Why?"

"Because…you let Seungcheol do it that time but no one else." He pouts and you giggle, absently playing with the hair at his nape where your fingers lay comfortably. "Don't laugh at me." He whines. The slap of his palm against the underside of your thigh isn't hard and doesn't hurt at all but the point gets through. Even if it is entirely contradictory behaviour to his sulking.

"Yes sir," You reply, a tease but your voice is serious. The only sign of the playful response is in the way your eyes sparkle on him. He gives you an unimpressed look but quickly breaks and smiles. Though seconds later, the smile turns into a smirk and he tosses you onto his bed.

"You look good in my bed." He grins, eyes darkening as they roam you from where he stands at the side of the bed with his hands on his hips.

"Look better with you on top of me, come on." You settle with your head on the soft pillows and spread your legs invitingly while pulling your skirt up higher. Mingyu is between your thighs in seconds, chest flat to the mattress and face alarmingly close for the speed at which he moves. For a second, you really think that he's going to collide with you; although you have wanted Mingyu's mouth on for a long time, that would certainly not be how you fantasised. "Ohmygod, I thought you were going to faceplant my vagina for a second." You admit in a relieved exhale. He snorts a laugh then shuffles a little closer so that he can press a kiss at the crease of your inner right thigh over the edge of your panties.

There aren't any further words exchanged between you, just a moment of heated eye contact before Mingyu adjusts his position and pulls the seat of your panties to expose you to him. He takes a few seconds to burn this image of you all slick and bare for him in his mind; something for him to look back on when he misses you.

Because he knows he will. He missed you before he even had you and now? Good luck ever going a day without him whining for you in some way.

You let him look even if it makes you blush and squirm a little, half shy, half aroused at the intensity of his burning gaze locked between your spread thighs. He isn't even holding your legs open, just resting his left hand on your inner thigh without any pressure while his right keeps your panties aside. If he was anyone else, your thighs would've closed already but this is Mingyu, the man you hope to spend a lifetime with, so you figure you shouldn't be shy with him. He'll see it all eventually anyway.

Just before you can change your mind and try to encourage him either verbally or by reaching out and pulling him in, he leans down and licks a broad stripe over you, pulling your wetness onto his tongue and making you inhale sharply at the sudden wet touch. He groans deeply and his eyes almost roll back as he sucks the flavour off of you from his own tongue to swallow down. And then he's back, diving right down with his left hand moving to use his thumb to hold you open and give him easier access to lap at the arousal trickling from your hole.

He doesn't really give you any chance to think, just grip the sheets below you with your mouth open and eyes shut while he devours you with more enthusiasm than you could've ever expected. If you didn't think it before, you certainly do now; Kim Mingyu is the personification of your wettest dreams. The way his tongue travels over your folds hungrily, lips joining to suck and kiss wherever his heart desires, is so fucking sinful in the best of ways. You think he may very well suck your soul out of your clit at this rate and you'll thank him for it.

"Gyu," You finally manage to make a sound beside the whimpers and moans he skillfully pulls from your throat in a way nobody could, not even yourself and you truly thought you knew your body through and through by this point. But boy were you wrong. And for the first time, you're very fucking happy to be proven incorrect.

And apparently, calling his name out of the blue is not a smart move because he immediately leans up to look at you with wide eyes of concern. "Yeah, baby? You okay?"

"Don't fucking stop!" You wail in complaint, reaching out to knot your fingers into his hair and force him back down. Though he's more than willing to get his mouth back on your dripping pussy and lowers easily under your hands with a pleased groan. "Don't stop," You repeat on an exhale, watching him devour you as if it's his sole reason for existing. You wish you could watch him for longer but your neck quickly starts to hurt from the awkward angle so you flop back down and let your eyes close again.

Mingyu glances up at you for a second then also closes his own eyes with a self-satisfied smirk. He has imagined this so many times before; how you'd taste on his tongue, how you'd feel against his lips, but nothing he imagined can hold a candle to the haven he's discovered between your thighs. He knows he could happily spend all day with his head between your thighs and his tongue buried in your pussy. He wonders if you'd let him. Not right now, he thinks that would be too much for your first day together but in the future. Tomorrow? Yeah, he'll ask to do it tomorrow, you can both call in sick to work as far as he's concerned.

Honestly, Mingyu is too lost in his own actions to register the way your legs are pulling in either side of his head and your moans changing in pitch and frequency. He only notices when suddenly he has a thigh pressed to either side of his head and you're pressing down against him with a call of his name. His eyes fly open to watch you arch off of the bed as your orgasm shocks through your body. He doesn't mean to groan lowly where his lips are wrapped around your clit but he does and the vibration is too much when you're barely through your climax so you scramble to push his head away. "Sorry, sorry," He pants out, crawling up the bed to hover over you while you slump down, eyes closed and chest heaving. He lowers onto his elbows on either side of you to kiss your neck softly while he waits for you to catch your breath back. He isn't expecting anything more than this and would be happy if you wanted to just leave it here for today, but he's sure as shit hoping you'll let him put his cock in you even for a moment. At this point, he's sure it won't take more than just a moment or two for him to cum anyway, his dick is throbbing in his boxers, pressing against his jeans in a way that he's only now realising is actually a little painful.

The second your breath is back, you tug him up to lock your lips together. His are a little damp and sticky still but you find you don't mind tasting yourself when it's on Mingyu's tongue.

You don't wait long at all before reaching down for the hem of his t-shirt to pull it up. He leans back to give you a questioning look, more to make sure you're certain than anything else. You continue to pull it up so he maneuvers to allow you to remove it from his body.

"You're insane, you know?" You murmur out awed as you take in his defined torso. For the first time, you can touch him to your heart's content so you run your palms over his newly exposed skin, memorising the warmth, the dips and ridges of him.

"What?" He laughs confusedly, looking between your bodies and taking in how your hands look against him, how your skin tone compliments his own perfectly. Like you were made to complement each other. For each other. As he looks up at you and observes the reverence on your beautiful features, he thinks perhaps you were. It's that thought that has him lowering back to your lips again before you can even answer his question. He has the sudden urge to love you in every way he possibly can; not that he never does, but right now it's less of the usual consistent buzz and more like a heated thrumming right under the surface of his skin.

You let out a little surprised 'mmh' against his lips yet don't hesitate to kiss him back. Your hands first lift to hold his face but then they move back down, over his pecs and abs all the way to the waistband of his jeans where you tuck your fingers underneath in a silent request. He groans a little and presses against your hand in wordless consent so you quickly open the button and pull down the zipper so that you can snake a hand underneath and palm at him over his boxers.

Mingyu immediately pulls out of the kiss with a hiss and a low curse. "Baby, I'll cum if you touch me." He warns, locking pleading eyes on you. You can't quite tell what he's pleading for though. Not when his words say one thing and his hips rolling against your palm tells you another.

"Isn't that kind of the point?" You muse, lifting a teasing eyebrow.

"I don't want to," He pouts. Without hesitation, you pull your hands away and hold them to yourself. "No, I didn't mean to stop." He whines.

"What the fuck, Mingyu?" You complain, pinching his nipple making him yelp and squirm away a little but only for a second as he returns right back. Always drawn to you and unable to hide it anymore, he doesn't want to hide it anymore. Wants the world to know if at all possible.

"I mean I don't want to cum like that." He explains, soothing your displeasure with a few sweet kisses to your forehead and temple. "I really want to be inside you."

"Oh," Your expression swiftly shifts into understanding and then delight. "I really want you inside me too, Gyu."

"Yeah?" It's kind of comical the way his eyes light up in pure excitement. More like he has been offered his favourite food, not to fuck you. Well, considering the enthusiasm with which he ate you out earlier though, you may very well be his new favourite thing to eat.

"Yeah, so get naked." You confirm with a giggle that only grows when he scrambles off of the bed to shed his clothes. He stumbles multiple times in his haste and honestly, you're too fucking endeared and in love with this giant clumsy idiot to do anything but sit and watch him with a stupid grin on your face.

He only notices that you have not done anything but sit upright when he turns to climb back on the bed entirely naked and spots you watching him. "You're not naked." He comments, a fresh pout pursing his lips.

"I got distracted watching the man I'm in love with," You explain smoothly. Mingyu's cheek flushes as he smiles at your words, his heart swelling with his own love in his chest. He's not sure he'll ever get used to hearing you admit to your love for him. He doesn't think he wants to get used to it.

He climbs up onto the bed further and reaches out to the hem of your skirt. You get up onto your knees in front of him and lift your arms. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead before removing the dress from your body to toss it to the floor carelessly. Later he will worry about the creases in it from being on the floor, but right now he can't think about anything but you.

"You're so beautiful." He exhales heavily as he roams his gaze over your bra and panty-clad body. You're glad you wore one of your nice matching sets today, you think he deserves to see your nice lingerie for your first time together at least.

"So're you." You reach around your back to unlatch your bra. Mingyu's eyes widen in interest for a second then he moves in and pulls the straps from your shoulders so that he can also discard that piece of clothing, leaving you in your damp, slightly stretched-out panties. "How do you want me?" You ask as you hook your thumbs in the waistband, but Mingyu bats your hands away gently so that he can have the honour of stripping you naked.

"On your back." He murmurs as he works the material down your thighs.

"Don't want me to ride you?" You offer, his eyes snap up to you and he goes very quiet and still for a few seconds as the mental image of you bouncing on his cock assaults his mind. And then he's shaking it away with a physical shake of his head and nudging you down to your earlier position so that he can remove the last item keeping you from being as bare as him.

"Not right now, I'll cum too fast." He admits, settling between your thighs on his knees and just looking at you with his hands on your inner thighs just above your knees. "Might cum too fast anyway." He confesses in a mumble making you choke out a laugh at his abrupt confession. "Will you break up with me if I cum as soon as I feel your pussy on my cock?" He asks, looking genuinely worried at the thought and like he seriously wants an answer.

So you take a breath so that you don't laugh again and shake your head a little. "No, Gyu, I won't break up with you if that happens."

"Promise?"

"I promise." You assure, squeezing his hands a little. His left moves up to grab yours in return and lace your fingers together on your thigh.

"Okay," He relaxes as he accepts your words as truth then looks down to focus on his right hand as it moves from your thigh and to between your legs. "I should've stretched you earlier when I had my mouth on you." He realises, prodding at your entrance with his lips slightly protruding in concentration and a little regret at his lack of forethought destroying his plans of sliding into your pussy any second.

"Do you want me to do it?" You offer. Two of his fingers slide into you in answer making your breath catch but then you laugh a little at his reaction.

"No, nobody touches this pussy except me." He argues firmly, already working to move his fingers within you, in and out while scissoring them with his only goal to stretch you enough to comfortably fit his thick cock inside.

"I-I can't even t-touch my own body now?" You ask, amused but his fingers in you feel too good for you to actually put any emotion into your voice. You vaguely hope he doesn't take it the wrong way and does understand that you're trying to joke with him, but mostly you don't care how he takes it so long as he keeps stretching you out in that way. It's a rushed job, you know that, you can tell that he obviously only wants one thing right now and this isn't for giving you any pleasure, but it still is. Maybe it's the way he's being a little rough about it without actually being rough, he's giving you the chance to adjust to his fingers but he's already adding a third and jabbing them into you sooner than you would yourself.

"Not like this," Mingyu answers, eyes still on his task between your thighs, though now he's seeing the way you're leaking even more and he's sort of clicking back into the fact that he should consciously be making this good for you. Though the slick sounds mixed with your laboured breathing and intermittent soft moans tell him that he doesn't really need to try to make this good for you. But next time, next time he'll make you cum until the sheets are soaked down to the mattress before he puts his cock in you. "Are you on birth control?" The question feels entirely out of the blue so you can't be blamed for not answering and just blinking at him for a second. He slows his hand to a stop and lifts his head when you don't answer. "I really want to cum in you." He explains.

"Oh, uh, no. I kept forgetting to take it." You answer and feel genuinely bad when his expression falls. He looks kind of heartbroken. "I plan to get something else soon though, so in the future you can."

"Okay," He smiles agreeably then removes his fingers from you to reach over to his bedside table, open it and rummage inside to find a condom.

"You'd have more luck if you let go of my hand." You muse watching him struggle to open the foil packet with one hand, the corner of it carefully held between his front teeth.

"No," He refuses around closed teeth. There's a victorious sound from him when the foil rips open. He spits out the ripped piece of the packet to the side and you watch the corner flutter away knowing he will be annoyed at himself for littering his floor later. "Uhm," His lost mutter draws your attention back to him. He's kneeling there, the tip of the condom pinched between his fingers as he stares between it and his erection. Clearly, he did not think this through.

You huff a soft almost silent laugh before you sit up and move his hand to his dick so that he can hold the condom and allow you to roll it down his length. He bites his lip and tries to not let your touch get to him.

"Teamwork," Mingyu giggles when you lean back and look up at him. "We make a good team, right, baby?"

"Mm, the best," You confirm, tugging him down by the back of his neck to connect your lips. Mingyu's free hand brushes appreciately over your arm before he starts to lean forward, urging you back slowly until you're against the mattress and he's over you with his right arm holding him up, his left hand still locked with yours but now it's by your side.

You can feel his erection against you, the latex sliding against your thigh until you lift your legs to nudge him over a little by his hips. He presses down, gliding his cock over your folds and catching on your clit. He can't really get the position right like this though, not to slide into you. Mingyu lifts your connected hands up to the pillow beside your head so that he can move his weight over to his left elbow and get his right hand between your bodies. He grasps his erection loosely, just enough of a grip to line himself up with your dripping hole.

"Ready?" He breathes out after leaning up enough to look down into your eyes. You nod without hesitation so he pushes in. He's only an inch into you and he's already convinced that your pussy is the greatest pussy that has ever or shall ever exist.

As Mingyu gradually feeds his thick length into you, you have the honour of watching his face contort beautifully in pained pleasure. He's trembling and his gaze is unfocused even as he stares back down at you with his mouth dropped open wide without a single sound coming out. You're not even sure he's breathing, and honestly, you're not sure you are either.

The stretch of his cock against your walls is utterly mind-numbing. You've had your fair share of sexual partners in the past and plenty of sex toys to keep yourself happy otherwise, but nothing, absolutely nothing has ever felt the way Mingyu feels tucked up snug inside of you. You're not sure if it's because his cock is just that good, big in all the right ways without being too big, or if it's just that you're in so fucking deep with this man that anything he does feels ridiculously good. You're leaning towards the latter, though you are pretty certain that he has the most perfect cock to have ever graced this earth, if not the universe.

When Mingyu's hips finally press up against you signalling that he is fully sheathed within you, you're half certain that you can feel him in your stomach and absently press down with your left hand just to test that theory. You can't feel him, but you can imagine it all the same and wrap your arm back around his neck loosely.

"You okay?" You whisper when he remains that way, eyes still unfocused on your face and both hands on either side of your head where his right is gripping the pillow with everything in him.

"No," He chokes out, finally blinking alert. "Feel so good," He slurs. "Don't wanna cum yet, wanna stay in you forever."

"You don't have to pull out right away." You soothe your hand over the back of his neck, fingers digging into the muscles a little in an attempt to calm your overwhelmed boyfriend. "And I don't have any plans today so we can spend as long as you want in bed and you can fuck me again later when you're ready."

"Really?" He perks up a little. "N-no plans?"

"No, baby, I wanted to be available for whatever you want to do today. Granted, I thought it might be a drive or trip somewhere, not sex."

"Would you rather the trip?" He teases with a little smirk as he slowly pulls his hips back, dragging his cock along your walls that try to keep him in place. His smirk wavers.

"No. Fuck me." You reply knowing he really can't hold out anymore. You really don't want him to either. He nods and thrusts back into you.

You expect him to move fast and frantic, to chase the pleasure he has been dancing along the precipice of for a while now. Yet Mingyu fucks you slowly, rolling his hips deep into you and then all the way out until his tip is barely in you before sliding back in. He fucks you like he's got something to prove. It reminds you of his earlier words, that he wants to show you what he doesn't yet have the words to say.

"I love you," You blurt, suddenly overcome with the urge to say it.

Mingyu stills for a second then surges down to kiss you passionately, spilling his response into your mouth wordlessly as his hips return to work. Now though, he barely pulls out before fucking back into you. It's more of a grind than anything, his body pressed close enough that his pubic bone is applying pressure to your clit in a way that is shattering you from your mind to your lower stomach.

Very quickly, the pleasure is too much for either of you to make your lips work further so Mingyu leans up, propping himself up on his right elbow on the pillow, his fingers threading into your hair to hold you as his body continues to make your body burn brighter with every passing second. His forehead presses to yours for a few seconds before he lifts his head and looks to his left. You look over too, wondering what could draw his attention right now when he's fucking you like no one ever has before.

At first, you don't understand at all, all you can see in his line of sight is your hands. Which is nice, sure, the sight of your fingers locked together as he shows you how much he loves you with his cock buried deep within you and grinding against more sensitive spots than you ever knew you had before, though you don't understand his laser focus. But then you find the matching silver chains on your wrists, the hearts almost pressed together with the angle you were holding each other and you understand.

Those bracelets were always supposed to be a sign of love for him, even if you didn't know it. He had asked you to pick out bracelets for you to wear together so that he could always have a piece of you with him and you a piece of him. You had exchanged hearts, metaphorically and quite literally now with the physical representations tied securely around your wrists.

Something about that very thought sends you tumbling into an intense orgasm without you realising it's going to happen until the blinding pleasure is washing over you. Your hands both grip Mingyu, one in his hand and the other around his back and drawing red lines into his shoulder blade. You're not even aware of it, of how you call his name and clamp down around his cock as you gush over it, promptly sending him spiralling into his own mind-numbing orgasm.

It's minutes before either of you return back to earth.

You're back first, blinking away the tears that you hadn't realised had formed until now. Mingyu is pressing up against your chest with his head on your shoulder and the only movement of his body is his back as his breathing starts to even out. It hits you that you missed his orgasm; you had always wanted to know what he looks like during such intense pleasure, but you missed it thanks to your own. You frown a little though a quick glance at your still connected hands reminds you that you are his and he is yours, therefore, this will not be your only chance to see his handsome features contort with pleasure.

"I love you but I also love breathing." You point out after a few minutes of tracing patterns on his back with your left hand. At first, his weight on you hadn't been too much but it seems that your gentle trails on his sweat-sticky skin have made him relax a little too much and let his muscle-thick frame lay heavier on you.

"Mmm, can we still cuddle?" He requests, making no attempt to get up though he does do his best to lean more onto his right elbow again even without lifting up from your shoulder.

"Of course." Though he still doesn't get off of you. "Are you going to move, Gyu?"

"But then I won't be in you," You can hear the pout in his slightly muffled voice, even if you can't see it. "You're all warm, s'nice."

"So you'd rather cockwarm than let me breathe easily?"

He hesitates then giggles when you tug on his ear with an offended gasp. "I'm joking, I'm joking!" He leans up entirely onto his elbow, freeing your torso from him. "I will always pick your health."

"I should hope so." He scrunches his nose at you playfully. You return it without hesitation.

Although he hadn't wanted to get up initially, Mingyu goes to the effort once off of you to go all the way to the bathroom, once he has disposed of the soiled condom, where he fetches a warm damp cloth and a dry towel to clean you up first, then himself. You expect him to return to your side but he saunters off again, allowing you to once again marvel at his exposed ass as he walks away, and returns with a couple of water bottles and an armful of snacks.

The water makes sense, you think, but the mass of snack packets is a little questioning so you raise an eyebrow at him while you shuffle to sit up against the headboard and accept one of the bottles. "What?" He innocently replies, putting the other bottle down on the side table to free his hand and allow him to set up the various snacks there too. "You said we can spend as long as I want in bed, I just want to be prepared, sweetheart."

And well, you can't really argue with that, nor his cheeky endearing smile so you just laugh softly and hand over the open bottle to let him swallow down some of the cool liquid himself before he climbs up onto the bed and wraps his arms around your body to hold you in the way you had both wanted for so long.

Later, when you both have your energy back and Mingyu is no longer constantly on the verge of cumming too soon, he presses you back down against his bed all over again so that he can see every expression on your face as he takes you apart piece by piece just to see how you work at your very core. He learns all of your curves and edges so attentively and allows you to learn his in return.

By the time you're once again laid side by side much later, tucked up in each other's arms tired yet sated, you're certain that somewhere along the way, your pieces got mixed up and Mingyu found himself a permanent home in your chest. He had taken a piece of you for his own and given you a matching piece of him in return.

You can't see it, but it feels an awful lot like his heart. Silently, with nothing more than a soft kiss on his shoulder, you vow to him that you will spend your life protecting it with everything in you. And you're confident that he will do the same with yours as his lips press to your head in return.

🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈🎂🎁🎈

A/N- don't forget to reblog if you enjoyed the story; it involved multiple moments where I almost quit so the show of support would mean a lot and motivate me to write more! & let me know what you think, that'd be grand too pls. I literally haven't written smut in years tho so be gentle on me I am babie <3

Happy birthday to the biggest babyboy 💋💖

[maybe-a-gatto-or-a-catto]

Why found family is amazing ↓↓

the most important thing about the found family trope in my opinion, is just the inherent breaking of the traditional thought of "you can only be family with the people you're blood related with". The idea that someone who has grown up in a horrible family finally getting a family who actually cares about them, and they realise "oh wait. The people who i'm blood related to aren't actually my family and I don't have to call them that" just makes me grin like stupid. YES!! Look at your actual family and feel warm!! It's just. Mwah.

I think found families that don't have traditional family dynamics are even better. I to no end will emphasize that there's no limit to who you call family, if they mean something to you, your pet too, they're family. They are because that's how you feel!

(I'll give examples of untraditional found families dynamics below. I'll leave an indicator at where this sections ends.)

My favourite found family (that isn't a headcanon lmao) is the 221b Baker Street squad from The Great Ace Attorney. Ryuunosuke (mind you from Japan in the Meiji era, where blood family is very important) called the residing people in 221b Baker Street family. In no way are most of his connections with them traditional- his relationship with Sholmes is more friend/mentor (mentor is kinda stretch because Sholmes just throws him into deducing shit with him) and his relationship with Susato is also friendship. Ryuunosuke is Iris's sibling, as he proclaimed himself. It's not traditional at all for the most part and it's wonderful. They hang out together, they solve cases together and most importantly they're there for eachother.

And ooooo another fav of mine! The Hirogaru Sky Precure main cast! They are another canonical found family, and they are completely untraditional. They are only family in how they spend time with eachother. In episode 24, Mashiro finally realises that they are a family in a (deserved) dramatic scene. Sora and Mashiro are friends, Mashiro can only see Sora as a friend. She said that herself. The other relationships aren't as explicit as Mashiro herself put her relationship with Sora, but they are certainly all friends. They live in the same house, they often spend time together and eat dinner at the same table. These are all things families would usually do, and that's why they're a family.

(Example bit over here. Tdlr; 'found family but friendship' is real in media)

I also believe family can be made by how you spend your time with someone. You do simple things like supporting when the other when they're down, going to important events in their life, doing simple things like driving you somewhere if you can't or trusting them with your secrets and feelings. It's something usually families you're born into do, but you can do that with others too. (And yes, with friends too, I realize that.) It's just that feeling of "hey, there'll be there for me no matter what" in whatever mood possible.

Family is truly who you choose. And with that, I rest my case. (And from far away, a voice asks if that's an Ace Attorney reference.... And, it's the OP's voice..?)

[stars-and-darkness]

WIP WEDNESDAY!!!

week #6

this week, i thought we might do something a bit different, guys. this isn't technically a wip, as i don't believe i'll actually ever finish it. t's the first piece of tvd writing i ever did, over a year ago now, and i got some 2.5 k words in before i realised that it's not really going anywhere? so the chances of me picking it up again are pretty slim, but i thought you might enjoy reading what i have anyway. looking back on it, it seems that my love of the idea of liz adopting a bunch of mass murderers some 950 years older than her started early, heh.

but also, like, keep in mind this was early on, and that i didn't have as good a grasp on characters as i do now, lol.

happy mother’s day

Liz Forbes’s relationship with her daughter has been at an all-time best since Caroline became a vampire; she thinks she’s finally getting the hang of this whole motherhood thing. So naturally, she does the next logical thing and decides to adopt the first generation of vampires.

Their parents were shitty anyway.

.

Years ago now, Liz Forbes had read an article. She remembers it only vaguely; it was not a good time for her. Bill had left to chase his happily ever after or whatever with his boyfriend, and Liz had been left alone—scorned by the closed-minded conservative circles that made up most of Mystic Falls’ social scene, and with a daughter to take care of. A daughter who, as the days went by, sunk deeper and deeper into teen-typical moodiness, until what little understanding there was between them before Bill left was turned to dust.

The article was full of technical jargon she could not comprehend, and longer and wordier that it needed to be in order to convey its intended sentiment (at least in Liz’s opinion). It spoke of teenage brains and amygdales and other similarly confusing things. In the end, Liz was left with the dreadful piece of information that made all the years ahead of her dealing with her own impossible teen seem even more daunting.

Human brains fully develop at the age of twenty-five.

.

The first time Liz meets the infamous Klaus, he is the last thing on her mind—because not too long ago, Matt Donovan had carried her daughter into their house in his arms, weak and shivering, the skin at the crook of her neck torn and oozing sickly.

Still, the part of her mind that is still the Council member—and, oh, how ridiculous the premise sounds now, when her own daughter, her precious, precious Caroline is a vampire in her own right and happier than she’d ever been as a human—that part appreciates that she stands here in front of the ultimate predator. The monster monsters fear.

Klaus speaks, and it’s with a quiet, soft, oh-so-compassionate voice. He looks younger than Liz had imagined him, and so much sweeter; with his kind words and his golden curls and his dimpled smile. Monsters should not look like someone had taken all the finest features off the church cherubs and hewn a person from them.

And his request—oh-so-reasonable. Her support in the future, in exchange for Caroline’s life. Inviting him in in exchange for Caroline’s life.

She doesn’t even have to contemplate what her answer to his ultimatum will be.

When she is sure enough that he is gone, Liz stalks upstairs. The window of Caroline’s room gapes open; and Caroline herself rests on her bed, wan and weak, but already so much better than before. Where the ruinous bite had been on her shoulder is replaced by smooth skin.

There is still a drop of scarlet blood staining the corner of her lip.

Liz doesn’t ask any questions; she closes the window and strokes Caroline’s hair until her uneasy slumber turns into real sleep.

.

In the morning, Caroline won’t meet her eyes. Liz, who has had the whole night to contemplate just what she had invited into her home, can’t fault her for it.

(A diamond bracelet remains hidden up in Caroline’s room, with Liz none the wiser.).

The invitation is half-hidden in a way that means Caroline both wants and doesn’t want Liz to see it.

Mikaelson—it seems odd until she remembers some of Damon’s comments, and the fact that the eldest vampires in the world are actually Vikings.

It’s what is on the back that astounds her, though. Klaus’s handwriting isn’t the fancy cursive she would have attributed to him, but the blocky capital letters are in fact closer to the pictures she’d seen from the caves underneath the Lockwood estate. Runic. Because Vikings.

Save me a dance, he’d written, and though she’s only spoken with him for a moment, Liz can hear it in his accented, soft voice. Fondly, Klaus. As though there could be any confusion as to the writer’s identity in the first place.

“I can’t believe him!” Caroline rages and rants, all righteous indignation. A gown came with the invitation, layers of deep blue fabrics the names of which Liz doesn’t know.

Caroline refuses—at first—to even look at it. Liz feels mildly ill just thinking of her girl in that viper’s nest and yet—

Bill; dead. Caroline’s feelings towards the man who’d kissed her scraped knees and let sun ravage her sensitive, immortal skin will never be resolved.

“You should go,” Liz finds herself saying. “Take your mind off of everything.”

And if Klaus had wanted you dead, he had plenty of opportunity to do it that fateful night, and every moment since, she doesn’t say.

Caroline stares at her like she’d gone mad. But she goes, truly resplendent in the blue gown.

Liz notes the diamonds around her wrist. She assumes they came with the dress.

.

Caroline returns; uninjured but also somehow worse for wear. In the spirit of their newly-found connection, Liz tries to get to the bottom of the problem. It’s a blessing, this new understanding. The same part of her that warned her of the monster lurking behind Klaus’s blue eyes reminds her now, cynical, that all her daughter had to do for it was to die.

The new part replies, adamant and unyielding, that her Caroline has not gone anywhere.

“For a moment,” she answers cryptically, hair still done up and makeup still on even if the dress had long been replaced by a jumper and a pair of sweatpants, “I thought I saw the human inside the monster.”

“And he proved you wrong?” Liz asks before she can stop herself.

Caroline just shakes her head; and refuses to speak of it any more.

.

Days pass; Liz knows the Salvatores, the Bennetts, Elena and Caroline are scheming. They always are, as of late. She hates that the burden of fending off the oldest vampires in the world has fallen to children, yet somehow she can’t think of anything to do to help.

And no-one thinks to tell her everything.

One morning, she wakes to her daughter sitting listlessly on the couch, a half-drunk mug of blood in front of her.

She is dressed to entice, but her makeup is smudged, her dress rumpled and her hair a mess. Something went down last night.

“Caroline?”

“Bonnie’s mum was turned into a vampire.”

The rest of the story comes in halting pieces—a mother who had given her children eternal life now seeking to take it away, an ultimatum with Elena Gilbert’s life hanging in the balance, a betrayal of a deal—

And Liz can honestly say she doesn’t give a damn about Abby Bennett and her vampirism, because all that rings in her head is distraction, distraction, pretty blonde distraction.

“Caroline? You ... you ... a distraction?”

Caroline makes a face. It makes her look even more miserable than before, somehow.

“Klaus thinks he fancies me.” The word is odd, something Caroline herself would never use, yet Liz hears it perfectly in Klaus’s accent.

“Does ... does he?”

He can’t. That’s not how the world works, and by all accounts, there isn’t enough human left in Niklaus Mikaelson for him to ... to ...

Caroline throws her head back with a groan. “I don’t know! Maybe?” Then she shakes it, as though she’s giving up. “Even if he did, that’s over now.”

Liz doesn’t prod, but Caroline tells her anyway, fitting snugly into her embrace, her head slotted underneath Liz’s chin, like they used to do before—before.

“I used it against him, Mum ... there’ll be retaliation.”

And he has a standing invitation to our house, Liz realizes, and it chills her to the bone.

.

But the retaliation doesn’t come.

Life goes on as usual—or as usual as it can in Mystic Falls in these recent years. The mysterious murders take up most of her time, and her fear for what she’ll discover is almost enough to push the vampires and their spats out of her mind. It helps that the Originals have scattered with their mother’s failed attempt on their lives.

.

Here’s the thing, though.

Caroline may have recently celebrated her eighteenth birthday—and she’ll celebrate her nineteenth, and twentieth, and hundreds more if Liz has anything to say about it, and she does—but her body will forever remain frozen.

Seventeen.

And Liz remembers that damned article, and she realizes—Caroline’s brain will never mature to twenty-five. She’ll forever remain a teenager. What does it even do to vampires like Caroline and Stefan, stuck forever, with more experience under their belt than a human can have, aging them, yet immortality keeping them frozen in that young, young state?

It keeps her awake, sometimes.

.

The Originals all have false identities. She knows, because she’s the sheriff and things like these go through her hands, and she knows because Klaus’s place of birth is listed as London and his day of birth as January 15th, 1987. To a creature like him, those measly twenty-something years he claims to have must seem like the blink of an eye.

The sister’s, Rebekah’s, the one who stayed even after her elder brothers dispersed in the wind, claims she’s nineteen.

And Liz supposes that she is, in a way, except Rebekah has also been nineteen for over a millennium.

And it really shouldn’t matter that they’re stuck too—stuck in this odd limbo between child and adult, or that Liz keeps thinking, over and over again, that both their parents tried to kill them all in the span of a few weeks.

It shouldn’t matter.

It doesn’t—honestly.

.

Liz would like to file a formal complaint.

In the future, she would certainly like to be informed if a weapon that can kill Original Vampires has been found. Or if her friend, the resident vampire hunter who just so happens to also be her daughter’s history teacher has been turned into a killing machine with the express purpose of eradicating the vampire-kind, you know, the one her daughter belongs to.

This way, she doesn’t learn until the friend, the resident vampire hunter who just so happens to also be her daughter’s history teacher in question outs her daughter and her boyfriend as a vampire and a hybrid in front of the entire Council.

(Is the Council even aware werewolves are a thing, much less hybrids? Or are they still stuck on vampires? Oh, to be that oblivious again …)

She learns that Klaus is successfully desiccated and stuck in a coffin on its way to be dropped into the Atlantic when she is informed that Elena Gilbert will wake as a vampire in a matter of hours as a result of his sister’s vengeance. Then the Council kidnaps her daughter, Caroline somehow gets away, Elena completes her transition, and twelve people she’s known since she was a girl die in a gas explosion.

She doesn’t have time to celebrate Klaus finally leaving their lives for good before she sees him strolling casually down the street they live in, hands in the pockets of his probably-exorbitantly-overpriced jacket. His eyes meet hers, and he smiles in a way that reminds her precisely how easily his fangs can drop.

Liz runs home as fast as her very human legs can carry her, and bursts into kitchen with such urgency Caroline nearly drops the mug she’s taking out of the microwave. If it weren’t for those handy vampire reflexes, they’d probably have to spend the evening cleaning B positive out of their kitchen tiles.

“I saw—” Liz grinds out, fingers digging into the counter, “there—just—Klaus!”

Caroline turns towards the window, but the street is now deserted. Knowing the bastard, he strolled down it just to scare the living daylights out of Liz.

“Caroline! Why is Klaus not rotting in a coffin at the bottom of the ocean?”

Her daughter has the gall to look sheepish. “Don’t be mad, but—”

And that’s—finally—how Liz learns that:

Yes, Klaus had been desiccated. It took the combined effort of Tyler and the Salvatore brothers to hold him down, Bonnie’s magic and Jeremy’s sacrifice, but it had been done.

No, it didn’t last, because Bonnie Bennett would not risk the lives of her mother and friends with the Evil-Ric on a rampage. Considering that her daughter’s life was in the balance, and that Ric did manage to stab the White Oak Stake into Klaus’s heart, Liz doesn’t complain.

And, no, their Original infestation is not at an end—especially since Rebekah and Elijah returned into town to try and collect their brother’s body before they thought he’d been killed.

“And,” Caroline finishes, “I’m pretty sure Kol’s coming back, too, so …”

Liz does the only thing she can do and decides to deal with the problem after she has had a nap.

.

It takes Liz three days of cajoling to have Caroline confess to her how she’d escaped the Council, when neither Elena, Stefan, nor Rebekah herself has succeeded.

The answer, delivered in an annoyed growl, starts with a K and ends with laus.

“He was still in Tyler’s body,” Caroline continues. The pen she’d been using to write out their shopping list snaps in her hand and she doesn’t even notice. “Mum, I made out with Klaus. While in my boyfriend’s body. Why do things like these happen to me?”

Too much information. But also, the implications … “Care …”

She looks pained. “Nothing happened. He—look, I don’t want to give him any credit—gah. No. I can’t talk about this with you. You’re my mother.”

It’s not like Liz wants to discuss, or indeed, know, anything about her daughter’s sex life. “Care … are you sure? I know that—um. If you were … hurt …”

She looks supremely uncomfortable. “Mum …”

“You know you can tell me anything, right? Fine, nothing happened the other day, but …” She shakes her head. Her daughter is a vampire. There are very few who can hurt her anymore. “I’m here for you.”

Caroline gives her an odd look, and doesn’t speak again.

.

Liz doesn’t deny that she is tense. Weeks pass, and for some reason, no new and imminent threat emerges to wipe the world clean. The remaining Originals have settled down in their massive manor at the edge of town. It’s odd to think that the four of them are the most powerful vampires in the world when she sees them in the street, acting no different than regular humans. It’s odder still to remember that last year, there were six.

[waitingforwinterwinds]

ASOS; Steel and Snow: 29 ARYA V (pages 395-405)

Arya and co. continue to chase after Beric Dondarrion. The search lands them in a town where her father and Robert Baratheon fought their war years ago, and are faced with more crimes of the current war before spending the night in a brothel.

-

... It's horrific, but I like how we start with a romanticized retelling of Ned and Bobby B's fight, and then we get smacked in the face with what's going on now and you have to sit there and realise: the horrific shit that's happening now almost certainly happened then, but the nitty-gritty never makes it to the retelling, it's all sanitized propaganda.

... oh that's fucked up. Leaving people in cages to die of thirst. What they did to be put in there wasn't something forgivable, but damn, kill them clean.

Revenge is making monsters out of men and women, out of victims. But what else can they do? If they could fight they would have died fighting already.

Don't leave men like that to linger though, if they deserve death kill them, don't drag it out. Best case scenario is a lingering death, worst case someone gets them out and the call for revenge of their own.

... I am going to mention that it is a little interesting, in terms of Arya's personal arc, that she used/thought valar morghulis like a comment or prayer at their death, but in this instance at least, it's associated with a mercy killing (as well as judicial execution).

... sorry, hang on, should I know who this Mad Huntsman is? Is he one of Beric's crew or... I'll find out at some point, don't worry.

When she looked, she saw more serving wenches than any inn could want, and most of them young and comely.

This is a brothel, isn't it?

The girl did have hair like the old king's, Arya thought; a great thick mop of it, as black as coal. That doesn't mean anything, though. Gendry has the same kind of hair too. lots of people have black hair.

*looks at the camera like we're on The Office*

You know who doesn't have black hair though...

Ha! Gendry just avoided potential accidental incest. Good job buddy!

...I know it's not the most appropriate, but all these bastards of Bobby B's... I'm not sure how the crown got so in debt, cause it sure as shit wasn't from paying child support. ahem. sorry.

For half a heartbeat, she forgot who she was supposed to be. She wasn't any peach, but she couldn't be Arya Stark either, not here with some smelly drunk she didn't know.

oohhh, sense of identity's a it wibbly, and that's probably only partly the alcohol.

Gendry with the save! and the anger about his crush on her because of his inferiority complex that he's taking out on her, no, stahp, you were doing well at being a good man. don't nice guy this shit. deep breath, you'll be okay!

She liked to mix up the order of the names sometimes. It helped her remember who they were and what they'd done.

That's an interesting tidbit and a good memory trick. It might also be so GRRM doesn't have to remember which order he had them down in every time.

actually, that reminds me of a copaganda show I watched once, where the cop tricked a suspect into revealing they were lying by getting them to recite their alibi backwards. just reverse the order of events and start at the end of the night, because real memories are tied together with a flow, cause/effect or something, you can generally go forwards or backwards from one, so remembering real events backwards is not much harder than remembering them forwards, but remembering false events is harder, because they aren't real memories, it's just a list you learn and memories, like how saying the alphabet backwards is really tricky until you actually start learning it backwards.

Arya mixing up the list keeps it from being just a list.

...And the Mad Huntsman arrives. You know, the sheer number of dogs and the savage behaviour from those dogs, I kind of thought "oh shit, it's Ramsay!"

But no, timelines, he wouldn't have made it down from the sacking of Winterfell yet, even if he was heading south in the aftermath instead of dicking about the north or heading back to shitstain manor the Dreadfort.

Who does he have from team Lannister though? (I'll find out.)

[chappellrroan]

Ok i just read this post and i had something to say. I feel like you're the right person to talk about this so

You know what? People, many people here, in India don't even realise when they're being touched in an inappropriate way or even if they're getting raped. Kids, especially are not taught about anything. There's no proper sex education. If a 12 year old girl comes and tells her parents about this, you think they do anything? No. They ignore them. The MOST they do is jaake uss aadmi ko gaali dete hai. (Obviously not everyone but most of the people)

Oh yes, I have so much to talk about on this topic. Our education system fails us, that's a given fact, even in this situation. The amount of teachers who shy away from talking about sex education is astronomical, the first time i had a proper teacher actually talk about it we were baffled, it was astonishing to watch a sir explain how we as teenagers are bound to be hormonal and there's nothing wrong with that but how we needed to be taught that every wrong action under impulse has consequences (i still remember that proud moment when he mentioned "rather than talking about awareness against sex violence i want to warn you about punishments for sex violence, until we don't remind some of you about the consequences you'll face you'll probably take it lightly"), it was shocking when it shouldn't be, that should be the norm but sadly it isn't.

Now teaching aside, what happens when you talk about being assaulted/raped here? you, as a victim have to suffer. Parents and society, be they supportive or not, in the end it boils down to what were you wearing then? Why were out that late? If that wasn't enough you'd be asked to be extra "careful" from now on, they instill this fear in you, that you as a victim will always be the target. I say of this from the examples I've seen, most recent being, a friend of mine was stalked by this random ass guy who saw her in a restaurant and she did what we're normally taught to do, she spoke to her parents, they dealt with him all fine and right but now the next time when we were planning to go out (just me and her) her dad was reluctant to send her, yk why? The guys around the area aren't good, what can these two girls do for themselves when mind you until now it was never a problem where she went, what she did. She had to be more careful now because god forbid she breathes in the direction of a guy and he takes that as asking for it.

Most to almost none of us ever speak about what we go through with our parents. It's family and we shall protect and love you until you mention the forbidden topics. So what if you are the victim and it wasn't your fault? You were there at the same time and place as the creep so you're equally responsible for it. You're never taught to speak up when you feel uncomfortable by the way that creepy uncle of yours keeps looking at you, or the way your cab driver is uncomfortably nice to you, you cannot point fingers at an elderly unless it's too late or you're being disrespectful and getting ahead of yourself, you cannot point fingers at people your age because you're hanging out with them and you knew what bunch of creeps they were so it's your fault. You're taught to ignore and never try to catch any attention and if you speak up that'll taint your reputation and value as a person. As far the perpetrator, boy will be boys, give them time they might grow up.

[sapphosarchive]

She can't win. I'm a lesbian and people are calling her homophobic when she isn't lol. It's ridiculous to me as a lesbian. She's not homophobic imo. She's shown nothing but support. Accusing her of gay baiting is wrong. People project bisexuality or homosexuality onto her. She doesn't write anything saying "I'm in love with a woman." People project that. We can all relate to her music. She even said these songs are for us once she releases them to the world. But I get what she's talking about here. It's like she hangs out with men, everyone harasses her. She hangs out with women, they assume she's dating them too. And people are saying lover era was homophobic but I disagree. I feel like the "gay pride makes me, me" quote from miss americana doc is taken out of context a little. Was it clumsy allyship? Yeah maybe, but she shouldn't be burned at the stake for it imo. Actual homophobic people hate gay people and say slurs etc. If she's bi she'll say if she ever wants to say. But it's not okay to speculate imo. I'm not saying she's bi, I'm just saying if she was, she'd tell people if she wanted to. She's always clearly shown she isn't homophobic. And the line about those who saw her allyship in the prologue is not lost on me at all. I think she's trying to say she's just an ally, but of course people will ignore that. She worked with so many lgbt people for yntcd! They felt comfortable and secure with her. She treats lgbt people with respect. She's said before she's scared to make a mistake, she said it paralyses her. I understand that. Her mistakes are never forgotten, they're never let go of. People love to hate her, and women who make a mistake are harassed 10x more. But she has shown support for lgbt people pretty consistently to me. I mean was gay marriage even legal in America when welcome to New York was released? Or was it about to be legal? She showed support in that song, and it's significant given the time. Tldr: people need to stop speculating, stop harassing her when she's hanging out with a man or a woman, stop saying she's homophobic because ur mad, and just leave her alone to live her life!!

Sexualising her ans Travis, harassing her and speculating every time she's with a guy is just as bad as speculating when she's with a woman. SOMETIMES people focus on gaylors when they do the same shit gaylors do almost, think haylors for example. People need to just be normal and leave her alone. She can date who she wants, she isn't dating the whole world, and speculating about her sexuality is wrong. She doesn't "gay bait" people project shit onto her. Wearing a rainbow dress isn't baiting. It isn't a secret code. You've fallen into conspiracy thinking because the human brain loves to connect patterns etc and its why conspiracies exist. All that being said, I've realised alot of gaylors don't even like Taylor. They seem to hate her, honestly. I went on their subreddit and they just love the version of her they've created in their own head. Maybe thats true of everyone, but they don't seem to like her as an artist. They only like her so long as they're in the conspiracy. Some swifties are homophobic, but it's not inherently homophobic to call out the conspiracy theorists. And I saw someone say "her music is only good if it's gay." But that's such a sad perspective. Sure, if you as a gay person listen to "I know places' u can interpret it differently. Anyone can listen and think "oh imagine it's a same sex couple hiding etc." But listening from the perspective of "it's so hard to date as a celeb and u need to keep it private to avoid harassment" etc. She was brutalised when she dated Harry. 1d stans went insane lol. And saying her experiences are shit or not as good is just weird and sad.

[katyobsesses]

I’m very curious about Luna and Visit Olympus 👀

Ah, Luna, my beloved. This isn't the title, just a reminder to me of what the doc is and I have not written much, if any, of this yet outside of an outline but it lives in my mind rent free.

Basically an AU where Tina and Quinn used to live near each other when they were kids (so when Quinn was Lucy, hence Luna as their ship name!) But Tina moved out of her foster house when she was adopted by the Cohen-Changs, changing her last name and moving to Lima. Lucy was devastated about this, because Tina was the only person she had who saw her as herself, not as this perfect little princess her parents wanted her to be. After Tina left is when the bullying started tenfold for Lucy, and then the bullying is what turned her into Quinn.

The fabrays then move into the district for McKinley and Quinn starts afresh during freshman year.

During the time apart, however, Tina has also changed, adopting her punk/goth/emo aesthetic, so the two girls don't recognise each other at all and canon continues as usual until Quinn is outed as Lucy in Born This Way. (though they do seem weirdly drawn to each other during S1 and 2, though neither understand why)

By this point, however, Tina and Quinn are Not Close, so Tina doesn't know how to bring it up to Quinn and keeps her own identity a secret (though Mike does find out about Tina's childhood with Lucy and is a Good Boyfriend/Bestie about it)

That is until S3 and Skank!Quinn. Quinn is now hanging out with the Alt crowd, and Tina knows in her heart that this is Quinn just wanting to feel seen, but also these are girls that Tina hung out with during freshman year and knows they're trouble. She's the one to go to Quinn in episode 1 instead of Rachel. Tina recognises that Quinn needs help learning who she is, and realises she is still the only person who knows who Quinn is at her core.

That's kind of all I have so far plot wise, except I know it's a Luna (Quinntina) endgame, with a supportive Mike and like a bunch of queer awakening especially on Quinn's side. The quintessential childhood friends to lovers pipeline. Oh also each others first kiss at like 10 or whatever. Oh also Mike is so supportive because he's also in love with his childhood best friend - who is of course Matt.

---

Okay so Visit Olympus is actually just my current cross stitch WIP - a Percy Jackson inspired one because I have gotten obsessed and I need things to replace my Harry Potter shit and there is like nothing on the market (come on Disney give us good merch, I need a Cabin 6 shirt please and thank you)

basically its one of those vintage looking travel posters of the empire state building at sunset with "Visit Olympus - home of the gods" next to it- here's my planning for it, it took me way too long especially as I'm using a pattern from the internet for most of it. Like I was up until 4am one night planning it 😂 (hence it saying "the of the gods" instead of "home of the gods")

[lucysarah-c]

Something I adore writing in holy ground is the different "perspectives" from the "issue" (aka Erwin's affair with Marie and, later on, y/n breaking up and dating Levi)

Erwin keeps insisting that they can "fix it", not trying to force her into anything, talking, etc because he's aware of what he did but he somehow hopes the can make it work. As if he's in denial, after all him and y/n were supposed to be these "couple goals", "the king and queen of the prom", "the real, ha I wish it was me". There were like this celebrity couple everybody has an ideal. They are meant to make it work.

Mike has an idea of who y/n is that's not actually accurate, he perceives her as a tender person by nature. Someone who's incapable of holding an struggle or harsh feelings, someone who had been almost like an non official "Wifey" or "Innocent creature" to many. A person that in its sweet nature creates a necessity of possession and protection from those around her. An idea that he obviously shares with Nana, who also treats y/n as of she was too nice for her own good.

Hange, also had an more innocent and childish version of y/n but not as close than the previous once. Hange is fast to realise that Erwin isn't over Maire after a good while of them being over and that he may love the "idea" and the "image" that y/n and him together portrait than herself actually. Specially, when they realise that the image or idea that they portrait took a tool on y/n and that having to keep that 24/7 was what was mentally hurting her. "If Chris was around, to help you space out". I feel that at this rate Hange supports Levi and y/n together as a "it may not work out" but it may "makes them happy for a while". A sort of "if you don't fall in love quickly and experience stuff in your early life, when will you?" Hange definitely doesn't care the "social consequences" of them dating.

Nifa haha she may be my favourite to write. She's those sort of friends that are like "she's my friend and I will defend her against all odds. Someone will say she murdered someone and I would say "well, maybe they kinda deserve it" and that's the day everybody is going to hate me". Plus, as Hange, she doesn't really care about social consequences. Nifa is more of a free bird, that's happy that her besti is liberating herself from her usual mental chains.

While Levi, haha oh boy, Levi truly is like "breaking up? Ok. Cheating?! Nah, you fucked it up there". I had always felt Levi is some sort of black and white person for relationships. Not only romantically speaking but also friendship, he's loyal to the bone and will defend you in public even if you are wrong and then talk it out in private it. If he allows himself to love someone, as partners or friends, he's loving you with all his heart. So cheating isn't in his vocabulary, he doesn't understand why hurting someone who trusted you. Why hurting trust, over all as a concept. It's funny how everybody think that he's some sort of "playing around" with y/n, tasting the waters because they don't know him. Yet hahaha he's like "this is the woman I will call my own, mark my words"

[asherlockstudy]

Uncomfortable close-up to their Valentine Newlywed answers

Since Rhett was a tad reluctant to compliment Link sincerely I decided to use my psychoanalytical skills (anyway whatever) and seek the underlying honest answers they wanted to give. This could be a bit much at times and perhaps you shouldn't read if you are not a Rhink shipper, that's why I used a cut.

"What he loves about me" Link's expression is a little confusing - maybe an attempt at doubt or self-deprecation but it looks to me more like the embarrassment of the blushing bride.

"I love your..."

Who wants to bet that the first thing that came to Rhett's mind was ass but then he changed it to the first word that came to his mind after ass? A-ccent. Like, there's just no case accent was the first thing he thought because Link's accent isn't even that strong at this point. When Link got surprised at that, Rhett simply replied that he was trying to find something funny. But even so, like I said earlier, Rhett does love Link's accent. I am sure he is fond of it, he finds it adorable. And let's not forget he said "there was so much he could choose from"!

Link looks disappointed that it's not his guess, his eyes. An interesting thing here is that although he used a personality trait for Rhett, he expected / hoped for this physical trait for himself. But don't feel sorry - Rhett has talked about his baby blues and has even gone to the ridiculous extents of planning to make a blog exclusively for Link's eyes. So don't worry; it is known that Rhett at least acknowledges the beauty of Link's eyes. At least. And Link was expecting this from a place of knowledge and not as an attempt to be silly-sappy.

Things Rhett thinks Link loves about him:

voice (Link will later say he loves his laugh and this is close, he's also enchanted every time Rhett sings so...)

height (Link once said he is attracted to "people of extreme heights")

hair (we know that)

beard (lie detector test)

giving spirit (lol totally)

creativity (they've talked about this many times)

eyebrows (if Link has said he likes Rhett's eyelashes then liking his eyebrows is certain)

Rhett was guessing from a place of knowledge too.

Rhett then said he loves stories of Link's grandma doing weird things with him and I don't like being the weirdo to spell out the weird thing but Rhett's interest in that is vaguely associated to his weird mind being always in the gutter. I don't mean it turns him on of course but he loves hearing weird stuff that border on creepy. You know it's true. Sometimes he's like that. Link took revenge for the accent joke with the psoriasis.

Wow we saw some Rhett teeth. Link answered sincerely with a super cute "I love your laugh" but Rhett just said "I love the sound your mouth makes when you don't chew". Oh well. Link regretted being sincere and Rhett, after some good laughter, defended himself by saying "he (Link) walked himself into it". This makes exactly zero sense and I am wondering whether he meant Link walked himself into it by choosing the vulnerable / sincere way. Or if he just didn't know what he was talking about.

Rhett then asks for the next answer to be complimentary. He then repeats he has strong feelings about Link's accent. Again, I believe this! In a positive light. IDK, I do believe this. Link said he has strong positive feelings for Rhett's car which I found weird like Rhett because I thought it was established Link has the better car of the two. Who knows, maybe he lied about the positive thing. Unless he connects it in his mind with memories / experiences.

Link's guess a little later:

Link: If I wanted to, I could easily... start over.

Rhett: Start over?! Like, whole life?

L: ...Yeah, just like, get a re-do.

R: Huh.

L: And I would be like "Really? How?"

R: Mmkay. I said "If you wanted to, you could easily kill me".

Okay, this gets a little deeper. I think what initially Link meant was a joke about starting over regarding his relationship with Rhett. Rhett didn't get that and asked him if he meant his whole life. Link considered that "mmyeah..." and realised it wasn't that far off from what he meant, all jokes aside. Link does wish he could start over and redo many things in his life. This surely has A LOT to do with their religious upbringing. And maybe how it affected Link's choices. Stevie's laughter is so out of place sometimes. Rhett does not laugh and tries to rush this moment. Rhett's answer about Link killing him is not exactly weird or offensive or mean as I saw some people consider it. It shows, maybe subconsiously, several things; Link's intensity, Rhett's pliable nature especially to Link and it might be more indicative of how Rhett feels about Link than anything else, at least in this video.

And then, out of nowhere, or maybe so it seems to us, Rhett goes ballistic against everyone. He starts complaining about those complaining when they didn't give each other heartfelt compliments. Link joked he agrees with them. Rhett attempted to let this slip although it angered him. The crew laughed with Link's joke, meaning they kinda sided with him, and Rhett turned basically mad at Link.

He accused Link that he did the same that day and Link entirely deflected the conversation. All I'm gonna say is that don't think they don't communicate with each other about how they approach certain situations. I wonder if at times they misunderstand each other or one changes opinion suddenly and leaves the other hanging. Link tries to stop Rhett from going on but Rhett is unstoppable at this point.

You might say Rhett was straight out mean right there and I sure was like "whoa where did this all come from, man" but mean is not a reasonable explanation. He was angry and his words show he is in a pressured state. Unless you tend to have mood swings, which Rhett doesn't really have as far as I know, you don't go from all cutesy and mischievous to furious in milliseconds. Except if there is an underlying suppressed cause. And you may ask, okay does he feel pressured to say a compliment to Link? Is this such a big deal? Well, yes and no. I don't think Rhett meant "we're not gonna hold hands" or "compliment each other" when we ask it. I think we know what he means. I think he's talking about the - well, in his words - elephant in the room. The actually serious consideration that there is something more there. The expectation that it might get revealed at any point - whether intentionally or unintentionally. Rhett loses control at that moment, which is why Link, who knows him well, warns him to not go there but Rhett still does. And again, you might say: well, no fan asked them to kiss or to confirm anything! We asked them simple stuff that can be normal between platonic friends too. Yes, but there is something we don't take often into account. The mythical crew. The mythical crew are actually the ones who monitor closely what the fans believe, want and prefer to watch. This means that the crew has to inform and discuss with Rhett and Link how much they are gonna please the audience and in what ways. Which means that a crew of 50+ people have an elaborate opinion on what fans think of Rhett and Link's relationship (next to their own opinion of course) and this has to be communicated with them face to face. In short, Rhett and Link have their privacy invaded not only by the fans but by their employees and, moreover, they are forced to always have fun with it and take it lightly. Again, you could think: well, they could forbid any rhink reference to the crew from now on. And you would think this WOULDN'T make the crew MORE suspicious at this point? All I am saying, they are fine when they make rhink insinuations / jokes voluntarily but most of the time is forced upon them by both the fans and employees and this can be uncomfortable at best if they are just friends or tyrannical if there is something more there that they still keep for themselves. So, Rhett's frustration comes from a deeper place than being expected to give a compliment. If I were in their place as I imagine it (I could always be entirely wrong) I would feel like a muppet trying to balance all my reactions towards thousands of people, with several dozens of them being paid by me to scrutinize me and order me how exactly to act!

There is a cut following Rhett's vent and you can see that Rhett is trying to calm himself down.

He speaks to himself, mumbling "yeah alright yeah ok ok" and by the expressions I can tell he acknowledges he lost control. That doesn't mean he regretted what he said - just that he said more than it benefits him to say and apparently he said a lot more in the unedited video. Kudos then to Link, who actively tries to calm his friend down and make him feel more comfortable.

This might be unpleasant to some but from his stance I conclude that Link agrees with Rhett or at least understands him. He was just wise enough to not say it out loud. Link first warned Rhett to not speak and then stayed quiet as Rhett was venting. After the cut, we see him trying to help Rhett calm down and relax and he characteristically invites Rhett to focus his attention on him and find something he really loves about him. This is not a complaint - Link is smiling and is warm to Rhett. What he essentially does is trying to help Rhett forget he is being watched by thousands and his every word is weighted, which of course is Rhett's main problem. He just says "forget about them and focus on me and just say something you love, it's all good". I just love Link here. He's supportive and caring.

The next question is what Link loves when Rhett blanks his blank and Rhett is trying to picture it-

I have no doubt Link loves that. The ear thumbing, I mean.

So, then I am adding the stills that redeemed Rhett in the fandom:

But not to be that person, it's obvious that Rhett plays it up a ridiculous lot. And not even to appease the angry fans but probably to make fun of their anger. That's why Link laughs with his face and his answer "I love remembering the time we met".

This doesn't interest me at all. Instead, I am much more interested in Link's nonsensical answer "I love remembering the time we died" because what?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Link tends to say occasionally stuff that doesn't make sense but I don't think he would pass on the chance to say something even remotely meaningful in an opportunity like this and especially regarding his relationship with Rhett. Link clarifies: "...when we died. This is heaven". There are two possibilities and only two: a) this makes ZERO sense and it's the worst and most pointless joke ever and b) this is symbolic or something only Rhett could understand. Rhett does not dismiss this as stupid or silly with his usual done look. He asks questions about it and they discuss at length about how it happened that they died and why they went to heaven since it seems they killed each other. Well, it's because they killed each other in the exact same time with a prod-like tool and they escaped Good Ol' God's (in Link's words) notice. Okay. I'm just leaving this here and you can all draw your own conclusions. Personally, I am torn between a symbolical death and rebirth when they left their religious selves behind and death being used as a well known old metaphor of a certain physical state. It would work even more if it was both. Or Link was just talking nonsense. Let's not exclude that. So yeah. That's all I had to say................

[handsoffmyfriends]

NOT HAPPY TOGETHER - PROLOGUE

—

PAIRINGS: ex!Kuroo Tetsurou x gn!Reader, platonic!Akaashi Keiji x gn!Reader, ex!Sekimukai Kouji x gn!Reader, pining!Akaashi x Bokuto Koutarou, pining!Sekimukai Kouji x Izumi Yukitaka, Kozume Kenma x Hinata Shouyou

WORD COUNT: 7,065

WARNINGS: dumb choices, drinking, sex mention, kissing your best friend lmao, unhealthy coping mechanisms, pining, so much pining its a pine forest, lovesick fools, angst, really really self indulgent like look at the ships lmao

A/N: so this thing became an entire au that has evicted the actual paying tenants in my head to squat rent free lmao just a bunch of maybe chronological events beginning with The Breakup and leading up to Getting Back Together

i totally lost steam at the end rip but i need this out of my drafts since scrolling 34 years to find my smau drafts is killer

tags: @samanthaa-leanne @finnydraws @peteunderoos @lowermoons @deestielluv @angyboibakugo @carmomo18 @kuroirl​

Part One

The day started with melancholy. The weather seemed to disagree, not a cloud in the sky as the morning sun filtered into your room through poorly drawn curtains, the warm rays scattering along your faces. 

It was your last day together before you moved to the other side of the country for college for the next four years. Hokkaido had offered you exactly what you wanted to pursue, you just had to sacrifice your life in Tokyo to take it. Kuroo had been overwhelmingly supportive when you received your acceptance letter, rambling on and on about how Kenma would make sure he had a decent computer setup so you could video call every day, how the physical distance wouldn't matter in the long run.

You didn't tell him how much it meant to you that he would go to all those lengths to be with you. You didn't tell him how you couldn't ask that of him, how unfair it would be of you to tether him to you like that. You knew he deserved better than that, better than text messages and video calls. He deserved to be with someone that could be physically by his side, and that someone just wasn't you anymore.

You woke up somber, despite the warm, comforting arms wrapped around you like a cage. You allowed yourself several minutes to relish in his warmth, to commit to memory how perfect it felt to be by his side, since you knew you would never have this again.

Usually, you were both slow to wake, indulging in early morning cuddles and kisses, but today you couldn't bring yourself to bask in the little world of happiness the two of you had cultivated over the three years of your relationship. You were going to tear it all apart, but you knew it was for the better. There was no happiness in a relationship that would be held together by loneliness and longing, of staring at phones and wondering when the next text would come, when the next call would come. It would be torture and no matter how much you loved him, you couldn't bring yourself to demand that of him.

So, you didn't roll over and kiss him awake like you usually would. You don't stare at his sleeping face for minutes on end, marvelling at how peaceful he looks in slumber. You already knew every facet of his face, every emotion he was capable of expressing, so you don't need to commit anything to memory. 

You pull yourself from his grip, despite him trying to tighten his hold on you as he came to consciousness. Even in sleep, if you tried to wiggle away, he would pull you closer instinctually. He looked up at you bleary eyed, a little confused, but happy to see you nonetheless, a sleepy smile gracing his features. The pure adoration he held for you sent your heart plummeting.

You gave him a tight smile back before leaving the comfort of the bed, the beginning of a bigger departure. You left him to doze off as you mulled around the bedroom, picking out some clothes and heading to the bathroom without a second glance. If you had looked at him again, you would have noticed him watching you with furrowed brows. 

He knew you were worried about moving to Hokkaido, he was feeling down about, too. Today was your last day together in person, but he meant every word when he said he would be on top of calling you. Part of him knew your behaviour wasn't off because of the move, he knew you were keeping something from him, but he wasn't about to pry. He knew, deep down, that something was wrong, but he ignored that niggle of anxiety, just like he ignored the space that had suddenly grown between you.

--

It continued in the little actions throughout the day. You could barely look him in the eyes, could barely respond to his numerous assurances that he would call you, that it wouldn't be different, not really. You tried to wear a polite smile and nod, but it felt worn, like a terrible disguise and you knew he could see through it. It caused him to lay it on thicker, that by being overconfident and overbearing in his determination to make things work, it would smother the uncomfortable atmosphere that you had created.

"It's going to be fine," he repeats for the hundredth time, rubbing your shoulders soothingly. "I know you're nervous about the move. Hell, I would be, too!" 

You hum, an acknowledgement that he's spoken but nothing more to contribute to the conversation. You're sitting in the living room, your bags packed and ready to go. You get the notification that your ride is here, that will take you to the airport and send you to the faraway island.

"You can call me when you're settled," he continues. "Or when you land. Whenever you want, kitten. I'll always answer." 

It's almost sad, how desperate he is to convince you it will be okay. You have no doubt in your mind that he would hold true to his word, that things might even work out in the end, but you also know that would demand crippling loneliness. It would demand that each of you be on each other's beck and call, that when that phone rings or a text comes through, you're expecting to answer or reply. It demands that you're both hanging on the edge of your seat, waiting desperately for that phone call, that text message.

"Kitten?"

You hum again, looking up at him in inquiry. It's a mistake, he's looking down at you with all the love in the world. It wavers your determination, makes you falter in your resolve. You want to reciprocate that love so much, with every fibre of your being, and you do, you really do, which is why the next words out of your mouth are, "let's break up." 

The next few moments go by in a blur. You barely register what he's saying, if he's saying anything at all, or what you're saying in return, if anything at all. You know deep down, this needs to be done, neither of you can live happily hanging onto that next text message, that next phone call. He deserves better than that, and so do you.

You gather up your bags in a daze as Kuroo is speaking fervently, questions and compromises falling on your deaf ears. You give him half hearted responses, barely formed excuses that you both know are bullshit. You don't look at him the entire time, knowing if you gave in and looked at the pain you had inflicted, you would cave and take it all back.

You leave without another word. Kuroo is torn between chasing after you and demanding a proper reason, but he knows it would be to no avail. He lets you go, knowing he has no chance to get anything out of you today. He tries to convince himself it's because you're leaving, that your nerves are wound up, that you're stressed and anxious about the move and about the new school, that you aren't thinking properly. That in a few days, you'll realise how silly you're being and you'll take it back.

He lets you go because he's confident he can change your mind. 

--

He's calling you the next day. 

It startles you out of your light slumber. You'd been going non-stop ever since you left, arranging your new room, organising your college schedule, finding the closest shops and most effective public transport, being thrown way out of your depth at the sudden independence that this new life demanded of you. Thankfully, you had a week to get used to it before college started handing your ass back to you on a silver platter.

You scramble to see the caller ID and your blood runs cold when you see. Everything in you is telling you to answer, to apologise for your actions and to take it all back, to even beg his forgiveness, but you just stare at the phone as the call goes to voicemail. You breathe a sigh of relief, though it's short lived when you get the text that you have a new voicemail. 

And then he's calling again. 

It goes like this for a solid fifteen minutes. Call after call, your heart desperately wanting to answer him, but your mind knowing you shouldn't. You've repeated it to yourself a thousand times already, that it's better off this way, that you both wouldn't be happy.

You're starting to hate yourself for being so stubborn.

--

The next day you're introduced to your roommate. Which, to your surprise, is someone you recognise. You hadn't expected to know anyone here, and if you're being honest with yourself, you don't really know Akaashi Keiji all that well. To you, he was just the friend of your boyfriend's best friend, who went to a completely different school. 

Well, ex-boyfriend. 

Akaashi seems to be surprised to see you as well. He introduced himself politely, finishing with, "you're... Kuroo's parter, right?" 

It stabs you in a way you didn't think possible. You can feel your heart skip a beat before it picks up in double time, loud in your ears as Akaashi regards you with polite interest. You clear your throat, avoiding his gaze as you say, "ah, n-not anymore." 

You find that Akaashi isn't a very expressive person. If he's shocked at the revelation, he doesn't show it. "Oh, my apologies." He doesn't pry any further, his voice devoid of any genuine feelings towards the matter. You don't know if you should be annoyed or relieved that he doesn't ask you about it. 

It's then that your phone, from the very traitorous place on the kitchen counter, starts to go off. Akaashi glances at it before you're able to clamber over the sofa to the offending device, Kuroo's face and ID lighting up the screen in an entirely offensive display to your pride. 

You hastily hit the reject button rather than letting it ring out, which earns you a raised eyebrow from your roommate. You can see the gears working in his brain as he pieces together the facts, though you're not given a chance to recover as your phone is going off again.

Apologies spill out of your mouth as you escape the communal area, shutting yourself in your room and away from Akaashi's judgement. You clutch at your phone like a lifeline, the feelings of remorse and desperation taking you over as Kuroo tries to call you over and over, the tears falling relentlessly for as long as he tries.

He gives up after ten minutes this time, though he leaves a voicemail for every unanswered call. 

-- 

It's later that evening that you finally emerge from your room. Kuroo didn't try to call again, but he's been texting you non-stop all day. You've been reading them, how could you not, your heart breaking all over as you read the begging. It would almost be pathetic, how desperate he is for your attention, if you didn't reciprocate. You ask yourself for the hundredth time if this is the right course of action. 

Akaashi, to your surprise, has made dinner for the both of you. He's still in the middle of serving the meal, his eyes flickering up as you enter the room. 

"Are you okay?"

The question throws you off guard. You sputter, "I— what?" like a moron, feeling entirely off balance. You'd expected a lot of things to come from Akaashi, mostly negative, but not concern for your wellbeing. 

"I asked if you are okay," he repeats, setting two bowls of food onto the low table by the couch. The apartment made use of the minimal space, meaning it was an open living layout with no dining area. 

You gaped at him like a fish, unsure of what to say. He's patient with you, taking a seat and waiting for you to catch up to the present moment. You eventually do, wordlessly taking the floor across from him, staring at the meal like it held all the answers to the universe. 

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he continues. "I don't mean to be presumptuous, but I find myself in a similar sort of situation." 

You glance up at him like a rabbit staring down the jaws of a fox. He's regarding you with a carefully neutral expression, his hands busy with his bowl and chopsticks. You open your mouth to speak, but it's dry, and your voice comes out a lot raspier than usual. "What do you mean?" 

"A long distance relationship," he says simply. "Bokuto suggested it, but I talked him out of it. We came to the agreement that we could try again once I graduate college, since he's going professional." He arches a delicate brow when he looks back up at you as he says, "I assume you had a similar conversation with Kuroo?"

You feel the knot in your belly tighten. You swallow thickly, willing yourself not to cry. "Not really," you admit, voice laced with emotion. "We didn't... discuss anything."

He studies you in a relaxed way as he eats, prompting you to start on your own meal. You thank him quietly for the meal despite not feeling hungry at all. You eat it all the same.

--

Akaashi is remarkably understanding about your decision. The only thing he doesn't agree with is you shouldering the decision, but he knows Kuroo well enough to know that there would have been no convincing him otherwise. 

Kuroo continues to try to call you daily. Usually, its towards the evening, when you and Akaashi are either eating or watching TV to wind down for the day. You ignore it every time, Akaashi growing increasingly more worried about you as the weeks go by. 

The two of you talk about your not-boyfriends a lot. The difference being that Akaashi maintains a friendly relationship with Bokuto, the two texting on the daily and video calling every other day. You had been present for one of the video calls, milling around in the kitchen behind Akaashi. Bokuto had greeted you politely enough, but you could tell he was angry with you. You didn't blame him, he was Kuroo's best friend after all, and you were surprised to find him tolerating you at all. Akaashi must have explained things to him, because the next time you accidentally crashed their video call, Bokuto had been much more pleased to see you.

Kuroo's unanswered messages to you deviate from their begging to be more casual, recounting his day in a one sided conversation. Somehow, it makes it all the harder to continue reading them, but you don't have the heart to block his number and you feel like you at least owe it to him to keep reading them. You don't touch the voicemails, knowing that if you heard his voice, your resolve would crumble.

It comes to a head one day, six months later, when you're lying in bed, unable to sleep, when he's texting you again. The frequency has died down considerably, the daily texts and calls turning into weekly ones. You watch with tears in your eyes as he recounts his day yet again, how much college is kicking his ass and how much of a recluse Kenma is when given the choice. He mentions how he's been spending time with Bokuto, suggests that the four of you should all have a video call and how is Akaashi going by the way?

He calls you after he's finished, and you nearly answer. Your finger hovers over the green spot, and you're ready to give up, this clearly isn't working, but for the first time he doesn't call until it rings out to voicemail. It leaves you feeling hollow. You had finally come to terms that you weren't going to hold out, that you were going to answer him and beg for his forgiveness.

He sends you one more text that sends you over the edge. You only read the first line of the preview, "I'll always love you, kitten," before you're opening up your messages with Kenma, begging him to talk to Kuroo and ask him to stop contacting you. You couldn't do this anymore.

And just like that, Kuroo goes silent. You feel your heart shatter at the realisation that you finally got what you wanted, that Kuroo would finally stop contacting you. You aren't sure when Akaashi made his way into your room, but you're bawling into his shoulder as he holds you close, rubbing soothing circles into your back as your heart is finally able to fully break.

-- 

Things get better. You're able to focus more on your college work and your friendship with Akaashi becomes more than a pair of lovesick fools. It becomes genuine, and strangely domestic. Akaashi's a lot better at cooking than you are, so in turn you handle the cleaning. Usually, you'll watch him cook and narrate the process like you're on a cooking show, and you'll rate the dish and give a critical analysis that's full of bullshit words and terms you don't fully understand. Sometimes, you'll even get into the kitchen and have Akaashi instruct you on what to do. He almost always takes over.

You both prefer to study in the communal area, quietly enjoying each other's company, and you regularly watch TV together. You don't necessarily talk a lot during these times, but you both relish the companionship and how comfortable it feels to be around each other.

You take each other out on platonic dates on the regular, too. Usually just to the coffee shop on campus when you're both run down from a lecture, swapping who pays for whom every time. Sometimes, it's a little more elaborate, a casual night out at the local izakaya. 

Friendship with Akaashi comes as easy as breathing and he quickly becomes your closest friend. You confide in him as much as he confides in you, though the topic of conversation deviates from your mutual pining to more substantial things. You find that your original assumption of Akaashi not being very expressive was entirely false. He's just extremely guarded, but he feels at ease around you, almost as much as he feels around Bokuto, so you get to see his rare smiles and listen to his laughter.

There's a day where you're both exhausted from the week, feeling especially touch-starved, when you cross the line. Akaashi is the one to suggest it, his reasoning very sound. You're both craving physical contact, you're both helplessly in love with someone you can't be with right now, so why not give it a try? 

"You can pretend I'm him," he says in a low voice as he moves into your space. It sounds so unhealthy, but he would be doing the same with you, so it would be okay, right?

You find out very quickly that your relationship with Akaashi could never be anything but platonic. When he kisses you, and you kiss him back, you both recoil with an almost repulsed expression mirroring back to each other. You're the first to laugh, the small giggle escaping your lips with Akaashi hovering over you on the couch. He sits back and laughs along with you as you trade compliments for your kissing style, but come to an agreement that it felt wrong.

You never speak of it again.

After that, you're somehow even more comfortable with each other. You start calling each other by first name. You often gravitate to his side, whether it be huddled down on the couch, completely invading his personal space, or be it out in public, where he carelessly throws his arm around you.

The two of you could never see each other as anything but platonic friends, but you're still able to satisfy the cravings of the skin, in the form of casual touches and friendly embraces. It becomes the norm for you two to be touching somehow, whether it be hand holding or just standing shoulder to shoulder. It's therapeutic.

Some of your classmates ask if you're dating. You laugh at the questions, there's no way you could date Akaashi. You assure them that you're just best friends. It doesn't seem to convince anyone, but you don't really care. They don't understand and you don't want to make them. It's between you and Akaashi, and probably Bokuto, too.

--

You're at a party, entirely too drunk, when you're being pulled into a bathroom and you're being ravaged by someone you don't know. He's probably a classmate, someone you see every other day, but right now you can't find a name. You find that you don't care, and you lose yourself to his ministrations as he peels back your clothing and presses wet, drunken kisses to your skin.

It's when you muse his black hair into something far too familiar, moaning out a name you thought you'd never say again, that has you scrambling from the sink in a panic. You barely give the man another look before you run, out of the bathroom and out of the building, onto the cold, dark street. You fumble for your phone with ragged breaths, dialing Akaashi.

You're panicking and you're damn near in tears on the phone to him. It takes him no time at all to come to you, you were somewhere on campus, and he's wrapping you up in his scarf and jacket, holding you close as you come down from your hysterics. 

You walk home in silence, your hand firmly clasped in his. He sits you down on the sofa, wrapping you up even more like a burrito, setting a glass of water in front of you as he prepares tea for you both. You're dazed, or you're just still really drunk, because suddenly Akaashi is next to you and pressing the warm mug into your hands. 

"What happened?" 

You shrug helplessly. "I don't know. One minute it was fine, I was about to get the dicking of my life—" You stop yourself, your brain catching up with your words. "No, I wasn't. I was in a fucking bathroom of all places. No, that would have been a shit fuck," you murmur this to yourself, voicing your thoughts. You startle slightly when Akaashi places a hand on your shoulder, bringing you back to the present. "Oh. Um. For a second, all I could think of was Kuroo, so I panicked." 

Akaashi sighed, rubbing your arm comfortingly. "I'm glad you're okay. Next time, let me come with you."

You wiggle your eyebrows stupidly. "Why, you wanna get down and dirty with me?" The question barely makes it out before you're laughing. The idea of sleeping with Akaashi has become laughable. You suddenly grow somber as the thought crosses your mind and you look up to him with the biggest eyes you can manage. "Hey, can I sleep with you tonight?"

He snorts, an affectionate smile dancing on his lips. "You are so horny when you're drunk."

"Not like that!" you exclaim, a little too loud, a little too excited. "Just... you know. Sharing a bed. No funny business." 

He can barely hold back his own laughter, giggling softly at you. "No funny business," he agrees with a giggle, patting the top of your head. "Alright, give me a minute to make my bed." 

-- 

Akaashi is on a video call with Bokuto when he has to excuse himself for the bathroom, leaving Bokuto to spot you in the background and excitedly hollering your name, calling you over.

"We haven't spoken in forever!!" he whines as you take Akaashi's place on the sofa. 

You laugh as you say, "I'm pretty sure we spoke last week, man."

He playfully pouts, but excited all the same. "Yeah, but last week you hadn't kissed Akaashi yet!" You freeze and Bokuto bursts out into mirthful laughter. "Or slept with him!" he adds for good measure, and you feel like your entire existence should just cease to be.

"Well, uh, you see, about that," you try to explain, but you're stumbling over your words and Bokuto is having the time of his life on the other line.

"I'm just teasing," he assures in between bouts of laughter. "He told me all about it, but I've been dying to know your side of the story. C'mon, tell me, is he not the best kisser you've ever kissed?"

You pray for some divine being to smite you on the spot, to spare you the embarrassment of the conversation, but your prayers are not answered and you're forced to go along with Bokuto's asinine line of questioning. "Well, uh, no offense to you or him, but no? Like, objectively he's a great kisser, but like..." you trail off helplessly. "I've kissed better," you end up saying fruitlessly.

Bokuto's eyes shine with glee. "You mean, my best bro, Kuroo? Oh, hey, that rhymes!" 

You chuckle at him, ignoring the little pricks to your heart. "Yeah. He's spoiled me for life, I think," you say, truthfully. Neither that drunken mishap nor Akaashi could compare to how it felt when you kissed Kuroo. But, you very purposefully do not follow that train of thought, and you're blessed with the return of Akaashi. 

He gives you a quirk of the eyebrow as he takes a seat next to you, very much in your personal space, going so far as to rest his head in your lap as he looks up to the screen with pure adoration. "Are you behaving yourself, Bokuto?" 

"Always!" he barks back cheerfully. "Just sharing stories of what it's like to kiss you!" 

Akaashi buries his head in your lap and you feel like a furnace, no doubt your face is as red as the shirt you're wearing. Despite it all, you pat Akaashi's head comfortingly, and Bokuto actually squeals, an impossibly high pitch from the man, as he coos at how adorable you two are. 

"Is your partner as cool as I am with you being this affectionate with Akaashi?" Bokuto blurts. You miss the narrowing of Akaashi's eyes.

"We aren't together, Bokuto," Akaashi murmurs. Bokuto waves him off with a grin.

"I, uh, I'm not seeing anyone," you announce, forcing a laugh. You nudge at Akaashi ever so slightly, smoothly sliding out from under him. "It was nice to talk to you again, Bo, but I've got some shit I need to do. You kids keep it PG13 in the living room, okay?"

You don't see the stern look Akaashi gives Bokuto, nor do you hear the reprimanding when you close yourself in your room. You aren't privy to the conversation that follows, nor Kuroo meekly poking his head into frame. 

"This isn't healthy," Akaashi scolds. "It's been over a year, Kuroo."

"Then tell me with absolute certainty that I don't have a chance," he counters. "Tell me that it's a lost cause." 

Akaashi opens his mouth to say just that, but knows it would be a lie. He frowns as he says, "it still isn't healthy." 

--

College starts back up with little fanfare. You and Akaashi sign on to stay as roommates for the duration of your courses, which was a no brainer. You couldn't imagine not living with Akaashi, and for the time being, you'll let yourself live in the fantasy. You know you'll eventually have to let him go, when you both graduate and he returns to Bokuto, and you're fine with that. You don't know what you're going to do, but you figure that isn't something to worry about for another few years.

Bokuto comes to visit, though it's barely for a weekend. You try to give the two men their privacy, you know that despite not dating that they would want their alone time, but Bokuto is very insistent that you all hang out together.

Once, you would have said you were better friends with Bokuto over Akaashi. How could you not have been, you were dating his best friend and you all got along. Kuroo would often drag you along to their joint volleyball training camps, and he would often want to catch Bokuto outside of school hours. Bokuto was funny, easy to get along with, and charming in his own way. Akaashi would often accompany Bokuto on those outings, but the two of you just never hit it off.

Funny how things work themselves out.

Akaashi's having a shower when you drop next to Bokuto, throwing your legs over his lap and leveling him with a serious look. "I'm going to ask you something and you're not going to read into it or tell anyone about it," you say as you get comofrtable.

He raises an eyebrow impossibly high. "I can promise none of that," he answers truthfully. "I can't keep things from Akaashi."

You muse for a moment. "Okay, Keiji doesn't count." He suppresses a squeal of delight at you using Akaashi's given name. Something about your friendship with Akaashi really tickles Bokuto's inner fangirl. He schools his face into something more serious when you cock your head to the side. "Right. Um. How is... Kuroo?"

His eyebrows shoot even higher, eyes sparkling with intrigue. You're quick to deny any special interest (lie), you fell out of love with him long ago (lie), you're completely over him (lie). You're probably being too insistent on these facts (lies), but if you repeat them enough, they'll eventually become true, right? (Wrong).

"I haven't even said anything yet," Bokuto laughs, silencing you. "He's doing fine. I think he's seeing someone, but he's so tight lipped about it," he says with a frown while the news causes your heart to skip a beat. "He's still living with Kenma. Oh! Kenma and Hinata started dating, did you hear?" he trails off excitedly, and you find it difficult to pay attention.

Was Kuroo really dating someone? You had no right to feel as upset as you did, it is what you wanted to happen, after all. The whole idea was so you could both find happiness in someone a lot closer. Really, you should be happy that he managed to find it, but instead you feel bitter that you haven't been able to. You've been too busy denying your feelings, denying that you're still hung up on him nearly eighteen months later, but even if you decided to accept them, to take it all back, it seems it's too late for that now. You wouldn't deserve it anyway, not after how you callously threw him aside.

Akaashi joins you a little while later, and he knows something's upset you. He slips in easily between you and Bokuto, returning your legs to lay atop both of their laps, and he rests his hands on your thigh in comfort. He doesn't ask what's wrong, but he manages to steer Bokuto's topic completely away from all your old friends, to what the three of you should do tomorrow before Bokuto has to leave.

--

You start dating.

It's a lot harder than you ever thought. You never really dated in the first place, since it was in your first year at Nekoma High that you met Kuroo and very quickly fell into an easy relationship with him for the following three years. You didn't know how to date, and you were too embarrassed to ask Akaashi for advice. Part of you told you that he would be just as clueless.

Most don't go anywhere after the first date. It's surprisingly time consuming and you'd rather spend your free time with Akaashi. Some see a second date, but things just don't feel right and you don't pursue a third date.

You're walking through campus, on a haphazard video call with Hinata. He's not even in the country, he's in Brazil now, learning how to play beach volleyball. You'd always been friendly with the Karasuno middle blocker, but you'd made an effort to keep in contact since you found out he and Kenma were dating. Next to Akaashi, Kenma was your best friend, which meant Hinata was now your best friend, too.

"Sounds like you're having a wild time there," you remark to his latest misadventure. "Keeping it interesting so Kenma will keep sponsoring you?" you add as a tease, giggling with delight when Hinata gets all flustered and embarrassed.

As Hinata tries to save face, you notice a young man looking at you sheepishly, like a child that's lost their parent. He couldn't be older than you, maybe he's younger than you. "Ah, I'll call you back, Sho," you interrupt, quickly ending the call and giving the stranger a kind smile. "Can I help you?"

He looks about as awkward as you feel as he takes the two extra steps to approach you. "This is probably really weird, but were you just on the phone to Hinata Shouyou?"

That's how you met Sekimukai Kouji, who just so happened to be Hinata's old friend from elementary school. Your world in Hokkaido didn't seem nearly as detached as it once used to, and you struck up an easy friendship with Kouji.

It didn't take long for the two of you to start dating. It felt freeing, for a little while. You felt happy, or at least you had tricked yourself into feeling happy. As the months ticked by, guilt began to gnaw at you. Were you actually happy or were you just using Kouji as a stand in for Kuroo? Should you even get to feel happy after how you broke Kuroo's heart?

It came to a head one day, several months after that fateful encounter, when you were getting hot and heavy with Kouji. You'd invited him over, it wasn't the first time he'd been over, with the intention to study until your brains were mush. Studious as you were, study took a backseat after an hour, when the numbers and letters started to swirl around your head and make even less sense than usual, when Kouji's hands found your thighs and your attention was very much no longer on the nonsense alphanumerics.

His hands gripping at your sides, pressing hot kisses into your neck, your hands in his hair, tugging fervently, when you both moaned different names. Neither name belonged to the present company.

You might have been more upset with yourself for allowing it to happen again, if Kouji hadn't done the exact same to you. You both break away with mortified expressions, apologies ready to spill from your lips, when you both register that you both fucked up. A tense second passes before your chuckle breaks the silence, and the tension with it, and you're both laughing at how ridiculous you both are.

Kouji opens up and explains how he's in love with his best friend from elementary school, has been for countless years now, how he's never had the courage to admit anything, too terrified to lose their friendship, and how he hoped you would have been able to distract him, for lack of a better word.

It's almost funny, if it weren't so damn sad. You were both using each other as a stand in. You recall Akaashi offering the exact same scenario to you almost two years ago and how ridiculous it had seemed at the time.

You explain yourself in turn, and you're both laughing with tears at how pathetic you both are. You encourage Kouji to shoot his shot, that having been friends with Izumi for so long means a confession couldn't possibly ruin anything. Kouji suggests you at least try and talk to Kuroo again, though he understands that your side is a lot more convoluted than his.

You break up that day, but you maintain a solid friendship with him, to the point that you still call each other by first name. You're the first person he calls after he confesses to Izumi, telling you with tears in his voice that he lasted a whole week being single. You congratulate him, just as teary eyed, so overwhelming happy for him, and insist on meeting his new boyfriend.

It's a bittersweet moment when you do finally meet Izumi, several weeks later. You're genuinely happy that it worked out, that Kouji is the happiest you've ever seen him in the short time that you've known him, but you can't help but feel a little bitter regarding your own feelings, on top of feeling like you don't deserve to feel badly about it, since it's all your doing.

You still spend time with Kouji, though the majority of your spare time is dedicated to Akaashi. When you're out on campus, Kouji will join you in a video call to Hinata. He doesn't visit you in your apartment anymore, which is just as well, since you've decided that your home is for you and Akaashi only (and Bokuto on his rare visits).

--

Your last year of college goes by uneventfully. In the final week leading up to your graduation, and your eventual eviction from the college housing with Akaashi, you're reminded that you need to find new housing in Tokyo. Hokkaido was only ever temporary, you loved the lifestyle of Tokyo, you loved the people in Tokyo.

Akaashi already has you covered. He doesn't take no for an answer when he tells you of the apartment he's secured, that the two of you aren't parting ways just yet, that Bokuto is still abroad and besides, you're just as important to him as Bokuto is. It makes your heart feel as light as a feather, makes you even more excited to graduate.

The new apartment is a lot more spacious than what you've been living in for the past four years. You decorate it together, going to the store together to find more space fillers, more indoor plants, to make the space something that's entirely you and Akaashi. Despite how perfect the place ends up becoming, how truly at home you feel in your new home, uncertainty gnaws at you. This isn't really your place, not really, not when Bokuto returns.

"Hey, Keiji," you lean over the island bench as Akaashi prepares a simple recipe for dinner. Bokuto is visiting this coming weekend, and you need to air your concerns before then. "What happens to me when Bokuto moves in?"

Akaashi regards you with a slight frown, as if he doesn't understand why you're asking, as if the answer is obvious. "Nothing," he says with a tone of obviousness that matches his expression. "This is your home, too."

You hum in thought, feeling your heart soar. "Yeah, but... won't it be weird for you? Having me around when you start getting serious with Bo?"

He stops what he's doing so he can give you his undivided attention. "My getting serious with Bokuto doesn't mean you have to leave. We've been living together for so long now, I think it would be weirder if we weren't." He places his hands over yours, giving them a gentle squeeze. "If you do want to move out when that happens, it'll be on your terms. I'm not going to force you out, and neither is Bokuto."

You blink back tears that you didn't know were welling up. You clear your throat and pull your hands back, feeling way too loved. You aren't sure what to say to such brutal honesty, even though you're used to his brand of honesty by now. Despite not replying, he seems satisfied enough with your reaction to continue with dinner, glancing at you occasionally with a soft smile. You can't help but reciprocate.

--

Bokuto moves in six months later, when he's finally released from volleyball hell. You find it isn't as uncomfortable as you first feared, and you continue to live with the happy couple for a following six months before you decide to move out. It pains you to do so, to leave your best friend of five years, but you aren't really leaving, not when you're moving a few blocks away. Akaashi insists that you visit frequently, which you do, and for the most part it's like you never even left.

But, now you have somewhere to go when Bokuto wants to have his friends over. More to the point, when Bokuto wants to have Kuroo over.

Bokuto never said anything about it, never asked if you would be okay with having Kuroo visit for the day, never even suggested it. He would only ever invite Kuroo over if he knew you weren't going to be home, and he would always make sure Kuroo was gone by the time you were due to return. He probably would have kept that up for years, but when you caught wind of what he was doing via Akaashi, you felt terrible. The apartment had become just as much Bokuto's home as it was yours, but you were making Bokuto have to treat his best friend like some kind of sinful secret.

Living alone wasn't bad. It took some time getting used to, and you very quickly had to learn how to cook on your own. You often phoned Akaashi during meal times, asking him how to do this or that, and sometimes he would just come over to help you. It was a good excuse for the both of you, as he missed you as much as you missed him.

--

As the fifth year ticked over and Bokuto's birthday inched ever closer, you came to terms with the inevitability that you would have to face Kuroo again. It was probably childish of you to hope you could avoid him for the rest of your life, to continue avoiding the truth of your feelings. It was amazing you'd managed to avoid him for over a year since moving back to Tokyo, especially during those six months where you lived with Bokuto. You told Akaashi that you were ready, that you weren't going to miss Bokuto's birthday for something so silly.

"I don't think it's silly," Akaashi disagrees. "Bokuto will understand."

"We're adults," you say with a shrug. "I can’t avoid him forever. I might even be able to apologise.”

[zu-is-here]

Hi Zu 💜 Hope this day treats you well!

First off, I'd like to say that you are helping a lot already, and I'm very very grateful for that. I mean, I literally would have never started this whole thing without your support. Thanks to you, I am here: posting things on tumblr, writing in English, sometimes even communicating with people (well, beside you (x). It really means a lot. Plus, while I don't like my writing, at least I know and almost always remember that there are people who do like what I create. It's a very nice feeling I didn't have for a while. I mostly had only my significant one before. When depression and low self-esteem get the best of me, it's unfortunately not enough. Now it's... a little better. So thank you.

And can we please continue talking about music? Because there are quite a few things I have to say.

I know The Killing Kind is associated with DestructiveDeath, and I'm glad it is, because that lyric comic is amazing. But honesly? In my mind this song is much more about X-tra Dark Cream than about DestructiveDeath. Partly because I don't really like the ending of the DestructiveDeath comic... No, that's not right. I do like it a lot, it's just... doesn't resonate with me. Doesn't click. But as for X-tra Dark Cream, oh goodness, of dear, it is too good to be true. The dynamic between this timeline's Dream and Cross matches this song so well. The lyrics are spot on. I didn't believe myself when I realised this. Hope you'll see it too when I write and post actual chapters!

That's also very true regarding The Death of Me and Fluffynightkiller. This song is obviously about some previous relationships that one cannot let go (and so isn't ready for anything new), and that's not Nightmare's case at all, right? Yet every single line fits perfectly. Only the meaning changes beyond recognition. And I love it! It always brings me so much joy to see a song in a completely new light through a character's experience. One of the best things ever. So this way even "I would tell you I don't miss her cries of love reduced to a whisper" (quote from The Death of Me) fits like a glove! Isn't it fascinating?

And last but not least, there is this little thought I've been thinking for a while. Don't remember when it was, but somebody once mentioned Vocaloids and Miku (I do remember you said your favourite song is Two Faced Lovers though (x), and it reminded me of that one song... And then this thought appeared. But before diving into that, do you have any more songs that you like? Maybe featured by other Vocaloids? Maybe not only Japanese ones?

I've been in love with Kagerou Project and Evillious Chronicles for years. I'm sure you know at least Kagerou Days from the former and Daughter of Evil/Servant of Evil/Regret Message from the latter. And the latter is what I'd very much like to talk about.

You might know the song Gift from the Princess Who Brought Sleep. And suddenly I thought...

What if this were how Nightmare destroyed Dreamtale?

This crossover makes too much sense for me to be comfortable with it (x But I'm eager to share it with you anyway!

Not sure if I'd ever write it though. It doesn't seem as huge as X-tra Dark Cream or Coraline crossover, but... I don't know. For now I just feel like talking about this idea, so here I am. I have lots of details for this, big and small, but for now I'll stop here. Leave you hanging a bit, even if you wouldn't mind spoilers for a thing that I'm not even certain I'd write.

Thanks for listening! And, well, for everything.

Take care! *hugs*

Hi anfie╰(*´︶`*)╯Yep, thanks a lot! How are you today? ♡

Thank you for your ask! I'm really happy to hear that you're doing, even if a little, better lately, that's the spirit (òwó) For me, loving your work is not so much a one-time burst of delight but rather a devoted following in anticipation of a new miracle. So please, keep up the great work! ☆

And sure we can! That ending of @thegrinningkitten's DestructiveDeath comic was quite a surprise for many, I guess, yet still! I'm listening to this right now while trying to catch the connection, to no avail (perhaps it's all the same comic's imprint), that's why I'm so intrigued by X-tra Dark Cream parallel of yours *^* I'll be waiting for your chapters!

That's so right about The Death of Me for fluffynightkiller! (I finally listened to this and god, it is fascinating ☆) I didn't even expect such a hit, despite the fact that we always rely more on a character's experience (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Oh you do remember! (〃ω〃) That's so attentive and courteous of you, thanks a lot <3 This dynamic song with desperate overtones is meaningful to me (not because of a similar experience, God forbid! (x). But yeah, I do love the other ones and much more since Vocaloids and Kagerou project are my childhood ♡

Such a pleasure to know that our musical preferences are the same! Kagerou Days and Story of Evil (a trilogy) are brilliant ♪ So many different memories are hidden in the same songs... I believe you know Seven Deadly Sins series and these ones as well:

I haven't listened to Gift from the Princess Who Brought Sleep before, but now— for real, what if he made all of them "happy", "like Dream couldn't"?.. Thank you for sharing this with me! ☆ It's okay to store good ideas, even quite big ones x) the main thing is not to forget heh!

Thank you, and take care╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

P. S.

Oh thank you very much, anfie! (〃ω〃) No gifts, please XD But that's so nice and kind of you, you don't have to though I'm always looking for something new by you ♡ Lots of love and inspiration to you too! ☆

[nikasholistic]

What's the securest way to change certain beliefs or patterns we keep encountring? Lately i had an eye opening revelation, that certain people who end up taking the role if "important" people in my life... are narcissists ('best friend', 'someone in house')

To them, if I ever choose myself they get pissed and accuse me of being 'selfish'

Their definition of selfish, i now figured out after ages of thinking i was overreacting or that i secretly am wrong and they're always right, is for everyone and everything to cater to them. In this, they're NOT being the selfish ones, oh no, it's THEIR right

But if, heaven forbid, self-centered, selfish, non-empathetic me ever stand up for myself instead of bearing pains to give in to them (against my will, btw?), I'm so evil

Im wondering if im imagining this? Recently such a person who would give me weeks long silent treatments and ignore me or outright say "not interested!" to me if I was overwhelmed by personal issues and needed someone to lean on, or when it came to my interests and opinions, got sooo crazy when I was fed up with their BS and ignored them when THEY suddenly wanted to talk

Honestly it's so exhausting talking to such people. And at that point i knew if I spoke (at THEIR whim!) I'd lose it big-time

Anyway, this person went crazy and didn't like a taste of their own medicine which I've been tasting for 50+ times over the past so many years. It majes me sick? Instead of realising this is the pain THEY'VE been inflicting on me, they have the gall to act like I'm the evil one? That's why I hate bullies like them. They'll torture you 50 times, u say nothing because ofc you don't wanna rock the boat and secretly believe you deserve that (why else would you keep getting this treatment? And you also have anxiety and low self esteem so no way would u think THEY'RE doing smth unhealthy. It must be ME who's got some character flaw) and when you crack and give them a taste of it ONCE? they'll keep hanging it over you? What the hell is this?!

Do they wanna be victim or shunt blame off to the other so bad? Do they seriously need the OTHER to tell them what they're doing isn't good? Don't they have their own gauge?

The reason I've realised this, is because ive shifted, gotten into self awareness, and ik I never deserved that behavior that fed on my insecurities back then. I didn't know a lick abt external validation (and how much my self esteem was linked to this!) Im sorry for the past me. But talking to 'that' person with this new insight, and actually listening to what patterns of things they're saying, makes me feel so hopeless. Before id be wrapped around their finger and react to their conflicts and get into arguments that went around in circles, always with them having an excuse for every single thing THEY did, always being justified because of something I did.... I am wrong. I am wrong. Like they'll never see it. They'll always think I'm the wrong one. That they're MY victim 🤢 in fact I've noted most of their rants show how much subtly they feel as victims

I have always myself struggled with victim ness, but unlike them and other similar ones, I turned this inwards and punished and self sabotaged myself. I attracted these people maybe because deep down i believed I deserve such treatment

I'm slowly realising it doesn't have to be so. So how could I change my reality? This is only the first step ie waking up and smelling the bitterpill coffee. And im scared at that even! It's taken a lot of courage to open up about this. What if I'm the one overreacting?

I'd like to hear your opinions

Hey love, you’re right it takes a lot of courage to open up about your deepest feelings, and I’m so proud of you! You’ve done something so important -- you’ve recognized a toxic pattern in your life and are willing to let go of it. It’s the first step to transforming your reality.

The people around you should support your mental health and wellbeing. If they’re not, it’s time to change your circle. It doesn’t mean that you have to uphold resentment. You can wish them well and still refuse to meet them and surround yourself with their toxic energy.

Toxic people usually don't recognize their toxicity. That’s why we should approach them with compassion. We have to remember that their way of perceiving the world is a byproduct of their belief system and their upbringing. They're not conscious enough yet to be willing to change it.

You’ve recognized the part of you that attracted those people, and now you can heal that part of you. You can heal the part that needed them in your life by doing shadow work, addressing your limiting beliefs, and turning them into positive ones.

Your mindset is the foundation of your reality. Your thoughts create your feelings, and your feelings create your vibration, it all starts in the mind. You’re already doing the work, and you’re on your way to transforming your reality. Do whatever you feel drawn to -- read books, watch videos, listen to podcasts. Acquire this life-changing, spiritual and personal development knowledge and then put it into practice. Practicing what you’ve learned is the key here. That’s how you change your reality, by learning, working on yourself, evolving, and improving yourself every single day. 💗

[terushimas-n1-hater]

𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 ٭

𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Genre: kind of fluffy but its mostly angst

Warnings: toxic (abusive??) parents, arranged marriages, toxic relationships.

!Timeskip spoilers!

Playlists I listened to while writing this

"Good job..you did great out there."  You said with a hand on his shoulder.

"Ah" he smiled "thank you for your support, without you and many others I would've never won so, thank you"

He said with genuine smile on his face. He got closer to the sofa, he sat down letting out a long sigh "oh" he said as if he remembered something.

"Hey! Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah i guess"

"Okay okay here, i got you something."

he said handing you a bag "u- um thank you?" You're confused yet curious looking inside the bag you see a little box, it looked like a jewellery box...but why would he buy you jewellery? all you did was praise him and help him go through the tiring days because of training for the Olympics, so why would he buy you something expensive?

"You look curious, why don't you open it and see it for yourself." He said looking at you with a soft look. You took the box out of the bag opening it, What a gift....

It looks so beautiful

It was a pretty looking necklace. Its gold and Choker like with pretty little stars that go all around it. You remember wanting a necklace like this..

How did he know you wanted something like this?

Is this a coincidence?

You dont even talk to him that much?

What is he on exactly?

You looked at him and looked at the box again "uh..I saw you last month and how you were looking at that same necklace, it looked like you wanted it so um i got it for you" he said smiling softly

"But why? Is this out of pity or something?" You said with a confused face "what! Of course not! do..do you not like it?" "No no! I like it but its just kinda random.. since I didn't really do anything to deserve a gift like this.." You said sighing.

Your story with tooru was long.

You never wanted to marry a man. In fact the thought alone of a man's touch made you nauseous beyond all belief. But he.....wasn't any different from any other man you've always wanted to avoid. But with parents like yours, the moment they found out about your thoughts they completely lashed out on you saying that all those feelings and thoughts are not expected in their household. And Forcing you to marry a man that you never saw or knew about before in your life. I mean he wasn't mean to you never laid a hand on you.

But still, It didn't feel right.

You felt captured, you felt stuck in a dead end. Like there was no where else to go. Being a housewife for almost 2 years now made you fall in many depressive episodes. And he knew that, he knew so so well about all the depressive episodes you were in, He knew it all. He tried to help you, but there was nothing for him to do since he himself doesn't know you or anything about you.

Which made it harder for the both of you to understand each others struggles. He never forced you to stay inside the house and do stuff for him like how your parents want you to. He let you free, let you do what you want. There is nothing else for him to do. In fact the both of you thought about getting a divorce, but you both knew that both your parents would not let that happen. Although yes you both had something somewhat in common, you both loved space.

You specifically loved stars. And you could guess that he caught up with your love for stars. You wore a lot clothing and jewellery that had something with stars or space. He thought it was cute, so when he saw you looking at this very pretty necklace he knew you wanted it.

"First its not out if pity and second i got it for you since i kinda knew you liked stuff like this.." 

"Thank you tooru I really appreciate it."

I mean who wouldn't appreciate a gift like this?you loved and valued this gift but something just doesn't feel right with tooru honestly.. But it was just a gut feeling so you decided to just ignored it.

Again, tooru isn't the type that would keep you in his house and order you around. So you had many opportunities to get outside and have some fun you get me? Almost every weekend you'd get yourself all dolled up and go out with your friends For a little night out.

This not only made you happy and made you forget about all the shit you were going through, but it gives you a chance to do other fun things if you know what i mean. Hear me out, you knew it was wrong, so wrong actually. But it won't hurt anyone right? I mean tooru doesn't actually like you so, why not?

You did this with many people you meet at the club, specifically women. You loved it honestly. It made you feel more open and more happy about yourself. You didn't feel as captured as you used to, it was just great.

It was one of those nights again, you were laughing and chatting with one of your friends wearing (dress/suit wtv you prefer)

You felt so confident and happy. Moments later Your friend excused themselves to go to the bathroom, you nodded as they went to the bathroom. You were leaning on the bar and drinking your drink looking at the people on the dance floor drunkenly grinding and dancing together. You looked around to see this very pretty lady admiring you with a soft smile on her face, You smiled a bit while getting closer to her.

"Is there something on my face?" You asked with a cheeky smile

"No..i just thought you look pretty"

"Oh?"

"Very actually.." You giggled at that statement.

You and....aiko chatted for a pretty long time you kinda forgot about your friend. Aiko, aiko..what a pretty name, You were so interested in this girl honestly all you wanted to do is sit there and know all about her.

"What a pretty necklace you got there!" She said pointing at the necklace tooru gave to you.

"Oh! Yeah my.. brother gave it to me as a gift."

"Aww"

You both chatted for a while more and exchanged phone numbers

"Dont forget to text me!!" She said waving at you and blowing you a lil kiss.

You smiled and sighed, its probably time to go home.

You were looking for your friend to tell them that its time to leave, you took out your phone to call them and to know where they are until you saw you got some unread messages from them.

"Oooo ;)"

"Yall better make out after this."

"Okay I kinda ship bye"

"ANYWAYS..I'm going to leave this nasty azz club and leave ya too alone *wink wonk* "

"Love you AND DONT FORGET TO TEXT ME WHEN  YOUR HOME"

You smiled at the text messages. You really did appreciate having a friend like them..But, its time to head home now before it gets even more late. You paid for your drinks took your stuff on your way out.

You finally got back home, tooru was sleeping on your shared bed so now you have be extra careful not to wake him up.

After you changed and got ready for bed. Already texted your Friend letting them know you went home safely.

"Are you free this Tuesday?"

You just got a message from someone with the name "your bbg 😻" you chuckled remembering Akio saved here contact name on your phone that.

"Yeah i am!"

"Great wanna hang out? There is this café I went to before THEY SELL THE BEST BAGELS EVER"

"Oh sure!"

"Okay i will send you the location to the café tmr kk?"

"Okay goodnight bbg 😻"

"LMAO GOODNIGHT 💖💝💗💓❤"

.

.

.

¡A/n! : okay so ahm ahm I wrote this in a pretty bad mental state so, if there is errors or spelling mistakes OR ITS JUST BAD I apologise. But I do hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed thinking and writing about it!! I will be making a part 2 to finish this because I just realised that if I finish this all at once it would be a wattpad story type long lmaooo. Thank u and have a great dayy (ﾉ´ з `)ノ💕💞💓💗💖💝

[unetherealfeelings]

Sushant Singh Rajput

**Trigger Warning**- Suicide, Depression 

I apologise, this will be a long post, but I felt the need to spill my thoughts and possibly gain some closure. Please bear with me 🥺☹️

I think it’s been over a week I have been sulking and hiding away in the recesses of my mind. Ever since I found out about Sushant Singh Rajput’s death, I haven't been able to get over it as I normally do with celebrities. I feel a sense of despair and misery and they don't seem to be dissipating anytime soon. For better or worse I have resorted to watching his films that I haven't caught up on. I think in some twisted way I believe that watching his past films will bring me some form of closure. But really it’s deepening the ache in my heart, with the realisation he wouldn't be around for another brilliant performance, that shatters me. 

I partly blame myself for this ache. I feel responsible as an avid movie watcher, I have always been aware of his films, I simply didn't take the leap of faith to watch them, if only I had, I would have understood the depth of his talent earlier. 

In fact, I recently got around to watching Detective Byomkesh Bakshy and the ease of how he slipped into the role of a brilliant eccentric Sherlock-Esque character blew my mind. The role completely irradiated the actor’s presence behind the character and I completely and utterly believed he was the Detective. It is a testament to his acting prowess and the ability to slip into roles in almost a seamless manner as if, they were made especially for him.

Then there was Sonchiriya, what a helluva ride that film was, yet again I was completely convinced watching him as an outlaw bhaagi blindly following his iron-hearted leader, then later the despair from his leader's death and the final conviction to do the right thing for the once in his life. It was every bit heart wrenching and soulful watching Lakhna, finally receive the redemption he so desperately sought. 

Speculations and News Coverage

I have been reading the speculations around his death, all over the world, people are trying to come to terms with his death whether it was pre-mediated murder or really a suicide. The fact of the matter is no matter what the conclusion turns out to be, he’s gone forever and solving this case isnt going to bring him back. I think even now days later I haven't come to terms with it. How could it happen? What exactly transpired leading him to make such a drastic decision? Who is to blame for his untimely death? Ultimately, there is a pain in the realisation that a man every bit talented and bright as him, had decided at some point that death would be the only way out. Pain, that to some extent the industry he worked and poured his soul into, may have played a part in his terminal downfall. 

Oh and don't get me started on the media's news coverage.  I haven't seen such a degraded level of humanity than what journalists, TV channels and reporters have displayed these past few days. Has a human life become so worthless that you refuse to give mourners the right to grieve in peace, the soul of the departed to rest in peace? That you had to share such confidential pictures of such a sensitive case all over the internet? It absolutely disgusts me, that there are people out there who would be willing to sell their dignity, shame and morals for TRPs. Utter scum, that’s all. 

Change is vital for great films and great artists 

Regarding the clusterfuck of emotions, accusations and outrage happening in Bollywood right now, I believe it had to happen at some point. I’m heartbroken that it took a preventable death for Bollywood and the audience to finally break this dam. I hope and pray that a productive and significant change is brought on by the chaos, that this outrage isn't one that merely blows over in the coming days. There needs to be a solid change in Bollywood which grants promising and genuine fledgeling talent easier access to auditions, directors/producers without needing the backing of big names, money or godfathers. And, what even is the need for an elite society of Bollywood stars? We get it, you make good movies and are bankable profit bringers, but if you can't even be decent humans and refuse to get off your high horses then I don't see the point of even worshipping such ‘stars’.  As long as we the audience, the film watchers support art made by the sub-par talent of nepotism spawn. Filmmakers, talent agents and  producers won't be pressured into actually producing good quality films with talent that actually deserve a chance to shine in the starry filmy world.  

Your Mental Health is in your hands 

I think the most important takeaway of this horrifying incident is the fragility of life and the value of prioritising your mental health. Listen, you are precious, your life is precious and you are worth so much more than the sum of your parts. If you take the decision to end it all, think about the people in your life who would be the most affected. The void left by your absence will never heal because you would have taken a piece of them with you forever. No matter what you think of yourself, know that there are people out there who are going to miss most, the parts of you that you think are flawed. All your insignificant quirks, flaws and imperfections that make you lovable, inspiring and most importantly human. We live in a world, so stricken with becoming perfect that we forget, we were created to be human;imperfect, chaotic and confusing. Never ever think your precious life isn't worth it, I guarantee that there will be someone will be affected by your loss. Please, for the love of all that is good and bad, reach out if you are in pain and suffering. Depression is a horrifyingly isolating illness, it locks you up in the darkest and most vulnerable corners of your mind, depriving you of love, confidence and your will to fight. So, just if there is someone out there you trust, friends, family, therapists, helplines, heck, even me reach out, please. For the sake of your future self, for what you could become in the future. For the possibility of a life full of love, hang on, please. 

May peace be with you Sushant 

As for Sushant, well I guess there is nothing much left to say, we can praise his work, the wonderful and down-to-earth personality that we lost to the stars too soon. In the end, it's all just a sad reminder of our futility in stopping his death. His death leaves a scathing reminder, that mental illness doesn't discriminate. Not between the rich, poor, famous, literate or illiterate we all fall prey to it. However, the difference between life and death is how we choose to battle it, in silence or with a support system. You get to decide what you want to do with your life, don't make it one you’ll regret. I’m sorry Sushant, I'm sorry you had to take such a decision to find your peace. I hope now that wherever you are, you are filled with the peace and love that you didn't get, here with us.

Sushant Singh Rajput (1986-2020).                             Lives on Infinitely through his films and art 

[ruffiorocks]

Long post about the reasons Lena sold Cat Co.

FYI very Anti James Olsen, and not very Kara friendly either. You've been warned 😊

This makes me sad, even though it was obvious Lena would sell Cat Co. What's heart breaking about it is Lena was essentially driven away from her own company.

Remember when Kara was ghosting her at the beginning of season 3? She only came back to Lena when she needed her for something, ie. Help with Cat Co. What did Lena do? Lena FREAKING brought it!

Kara "no! Edge has Cat Co!"

Lena "no... I brought it" - Lena hesitates when she says this as though she isn't sure how Kara, who has recently been a jack ass to her would react.

She then gets more confident and says

"pretty bad ass right" - she sounds so pleased with herself and is expecting Kara to be happy.

Kara? Basically says she quit. She came to Lena for the first time in ages to rant and rave, complain and then basically ask her to help sort it and Lena DOES! But Kara seems to forget all of this and just quits het job.

Lena is shocked and is like

"well unquit!! I can't do this without you! I don't know anything about running a media empire"

Kara, like she can't be arsed and didn't just get what she went to Lena for says "well neither do I". It's so dismissive, and it's bullshit since she does know how that stuff works to a point because she was Cat Grants FREAKING assistant! Kara was waaaay more qualified than bloody James "I take pictures of my posing best friends" Olsen.

This here just proves that Lena would have had second thoughts about have brought Cat Co if she knew at the time Kara was going to quit. She clearly thought Kara would be there to help her run it.

Lena also says "how often do you get to work with your best friend" it's so cute, and so sad. Lena was looking forward to working with Kara.

Fast forward to the end of the Episode and Kara has a realisation that Lena Luthor is a God Send and did EXACTLY what Kara wanted and couldn't give a rats ass she quit and decides being a"boo hoo my boyfriend is gone so I can no longer be the person I was well established to be before he showed up" Emo is ridiculous.

So first day at Cat Co and the elevator opens up to Lena and she looks excited and then meets Eve, who to be fair (even though we know what happens) is actually the nicest person to Lena the whole time she's at Cat Co and that includes her best friend and boyfriend.

James is shocked she dared show up to her own business without informing him, he then has the gall to say they don't have an office ready for her, erm.... James? Cats office is now HER office! Every office in Cat Co belongs to Lena now. He just assumes he's still running things and says he was thinking about weekly updates. Lena who is clearly used to men telling her how to run her businesses and setting her aside tells him there's no need and she will be there every day. James again is SHOCKED his new BOSS is going to be at her the place she spent $750 mil on 😑

Kara shows up and to begin with is a little love who gives Lena a diary and basically calls her family. But then Immediately runs off the moment Lena asks her to do something.

Kara does this more than once and Lena asks James what's she's doing and James dismisses Lena's question with a snotty "she's a reporter! It's what she does!" Seriously rude!! I don't give a rats ass she didn't tell James she was turning up and she did tell Kara. She had a reason to tell Kara, she wanted to work with her and trusts her. She had no reason to tell James, she has every reason to turn up and check out the buisness and how he's running it without him or anyone else dressing it up because the boss is there.

Lena is an understanding angel and even though Kara is ignoring instructions and being rude Lena isn't rude back. When Kara pushes it past the limit Lena has no choice but to reprimand her. Kara took full advantage of Lena here, thinking she could just do what she wanted because that's what she has been doing with James running things. News flash Kara, Lena isn't in on why you ditch work every 5 minutes.

Kara realizes she's been an ass and apologizes and Lena, understanding as ever immediately forgives and they hug it out.

Later Lena tragically gets involved with James even though he was pushy and handsy when she said she didn't want to do anything without talking to Kara first, because Sister's before Misters! She dotes on his ungrateful ass and he puts her whole business at risk by meeting and working with the COL which she told him not to do. Which she is FULLY entitled to so as his boss. He of course ignores her, she gets him a TV appearence to talk with Ben Lockwood which would boost his career and putCat Co in a anti COL light but noooo... Apparently Lena has no say in work matters! Did you read that correctly? Lena has NO say in WORK MATTERS!! why didn't she fire his ass on the spot?!!

So James, only caring for his ego and wanting to be relevant since no one ever remembers he's Guardian feels that hanging out with terrorists is more important than his job as the face of Cat Co, putting Cat Co at risk. To further put Lena's business in jepordy he picks KARA the junior reporter to take his place?!! Kara?? There wasn't a fully qualified journalist with more experience available? Well that went to shit anyway because Ben Lockwood destroyed Kara in that debate.

James nearly gets himself killed, nearly gets Kara killed, nearly commits an act of terrorism without any regard whatsover about what Lena, a LUTHORS association with the poster boy of the COL would look like, no regard for her hard earned reputation and no regard for her business.

James even humiliates her further by making her look whiny at Thanksgiving dinner in front of all their friends, even though 5 seconds later his little Field Trip with the COL proves how clueless he is since he didnt even realize what they were doing. He basically praised the guy he was with and thought he was on to something. What... A... Dumb... Ass!!

Remember James also revealed himself as Guardian, a STUPID idea that serves Virtually no real purpose, but Lena was supportive because she's an angel!! But he's a dumb ass and thinks he is above the law and thought HE of all people was able to stop the DA from going through with the charges against him for being a vigilante. James ACTUALLY thought by doing NOTHING he had fixed the problem, like the authorities just forget these things?

He decides going out as Guardian is a good idea even though no one needs him to do this and he serves no real purpose as Guardian. But Lena because she isn't a moron, tells him he WILL go to prison. He insults her and says she worries to much and he sorted that issue. Here Lena finally tells this jack ass that she solved that issue and what was his response to her declaration of love and not wanting to see him go to prison or die? "If you think that's what love is, I don't want it!" And he leaves her in a corridor to awkwardly go back into Kara's loft, humiliated.

James goes all Ross Gheller and invades Lena's space at L Corp after she told him she was busy and thankfully she kicks his ass out!

He pretends to be on board with her Harun El ideas and uses this to get her into bed, only to sit up looking awkward about it while she sleeps. (Jesus my 34 brother watched this and was like 'he basically lied so he could sleep with her)

James considers using Lena's own resources to investigate her?!!

Lena thankfully dumps his ass and stops coming to Cat Co.

Now here's where its really relevant:

Kara and James basically run Cat Co without Lena to the point she doesn't even show up anymore. Harun El experiments aside, Lena no longer feels excited to be working at at Cat Co on a new adventure with Kara. Plus why would she want to see James??

Kara basically ignores Lena as Kara but she treats her like absolute garbage as Supergirl. Then returns to her as her bestie Kara. Lena was up to this point unaware she was being duped. Lena even makes a comment to Kara when she FINALLY decides to remerge as Kara Danvers that Kara hasn't been there at all but Alex has.

Lena finds out that Supergirl asked Lena's BOYFRIEND to spy on her and betray her trust which he actually does do btw, then he sours things even further between Lena and Supergirl by revealing it?? What purpose did that really serve? And NO! Do not tell me 'he had to be honest' what he HAD to do, was not break into L Corp in the first place!

Now we have Alex reprimanding Supergirl for being an ass to Lena and they come to a shaky truce.

During this time Lena and Kara get close again by trying to track down Lex and then Lena and Supergirl have a few bonding moments. Kara, however let's Lena think she's been blown up for a good few seconds!!

Now Lena finds out that Kara has been lying to her this whole time, it was Kara who treated her like garbage as Supergirl, Kara who interfered in her personal relationships. It was all the other super friends all lying to her. Etc etc. She even saw Kara burning all the pics Linda's cell so Lena won't find out. She learns all of this from Lex of all people! This just tells Lena that Kara never trusted her, second guessing why they are even friends? Realising Kara tricked her into revealing personal feelings she would Never have told Supergirl to her, yelled at her, called her a Luthor and then came back to her as he shoulder to cry on oh and let her think she had died.

Yeah..... I wouldn't want to work at Cat Co with ANY of them either. No way is Lena going to want to work with James and Kara (I know James is leaving) and be the one paying their wages.

Lena was Virtually driven from Cat Co by James and Kara even before she learned the super secret. She was never really treated with the respect she deserved as their boss, and the thing is she never demanded it, she only pulled rank when they were being jack asses and thinking they were above being told what to do, acting like Lena being the owner and boss meant nothing.

Poor Lena's enthusiasm for working at Cat Co with Kara died very early on. Mostly thanks to both James and Kara. All that joy and optimism she had? It's all gone. 😢😢

So I'm glad she sold it!